rian-t - Tumblr blog

[rian-t]

We aren't writing history, we're re-writing it.

We aren’t writing history, we’re re-writing it.

When I walked up to a local protest in Northern Indiana with a friend by my side, signs in our hands, and masks rubbing against our faces, I didn’t know what to expect. I had read the posts, seen the pictures, and watched the videos of protests turning into “riots” while police reacted in ways that made me sick. I had also seen the brighter side, with people truly coming together and officers…

[rian-t]

You Will Not Change the World

You Will Not Change the World

When I was younger, I remember reading the quote, “Those who are crazy enough to change the world are often the ones who do,” and I was instantly inspired. My pre-teen self was convinced that I would change the world because Bill Gates or whoever said that quote told me I could, and who was I to argue? And even as time passed, I held to that idea firmly because anything can happen if you really…

[rian-t]

The Sun and the Moon

pay attention to the lessons being shown to you by the earth

Sometimes I wonder if the sun ever misses the moon. In the rare moments where they meet or glance at one another from across the world, do they know how much time will pass before they meet again? Do they care? Or do they celebrate both their meeting and their divide without feeling sorrow in the time and space between them? I hope they do, and I hope I learn something from them.

Because my…

[rian-t]

Enough is Enough

I’m not one to lose my temper or raise my voice because anger is an emotion I rarely feel or give in to, but lately I have been angry all the time. And I’m angry because I simply don’t understand.

I don’t understand how when I tell people that part of my job includes me teaching in the county jail, the reaction I get is never “Oh good, those people deserve a good education!” but rather “You…

[rian-t]

21 Things I learned Before Turning 21 Don't be afraid to love. Love everything and love fiercly and I promise that love will always find its way back to you.

[rian-t]

To The One Who's Tired of Waiting...

To The One Who’s Tired of Waiting…

Don’t sell out. I know that sometimes waiting can be hard and the work and time you’ve been putting in can start to feel like nothing more than a few more grains of sand falling through the hourglass, but don’t sell out. Don’t sell your dream for a hand-me-down or a knock-off that may bare resemblance but will never fulfill your purpose. Don’t sell your love for something that will leave you…

[rian-t]

Lighthouse

My dreams have always had a way of tearing me down. They come through each day like a wave and with my eyes open I watch as the things around me get worn and washed away, and then the wave comes back and does it all again. I’ve watched this cycle for as long as I’ve been dreaming. I’ve noticed that the more intense the desire, the more intense the wave. When my heart races at the thought of…

[rian-t]

The Things I Cannot Change

The Things I Cannot Change

My mom used to mutter this prayer a lot when I was growing up: “Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change…” There was something about peace and wisdom too, but I never took the time to remember those parts. I’ve been learning a lot about acceptance lately, so this prayer has been on my mind. I’ve been learning about how sometimes the sun doesn’t set in a way that leaves me…

[rian-t]

When Fear is Knocking...

When Fear is Knocking…

“When fear knocks, hope goes to answer and faith is at the door.”

I work with adults trying to earn their GED/HSE (many of whom struggle with some sort of disability) or adults learning English as a second language. One student in particular has gone through a lifetime of trauma that has left her struggling to get back on her feet but has also left her with a lot of wisdom. While we were…

[rian-t]

The Test of the Fire

The Test of the Fire

For some reason, I’ve been seeing a lot of side-by-side success stories from people who I have admired for their openness and vulnerability. People have been posting extreme highs and lows at a point in time on their journey – photos of them with swollen eyes and splotchy faces as they wrap up a mental breakdown caused by a mishap in their life, sitting next to a picture of them with a toothy…

[rian-t]

The Moment My Life Changed

The Moment My Life Changed

I remember specific moments where my life had changed. The minute I bought that plane ticket to go halfway across the world; the time I chased a dream despite the many obstacles in my way; the moment I kissed that boy knowing the only two possible outcomes were happiness or heartache. I knew. In every moment I knew what I was getting myself into. I knew that life would never go according to plan,…

[rian-t]

Light

Around ten o’clock every morning the sun shines through my room perfectly, allowing it’s warmth to soak my skin despite the freezing cold just beyond the walls. If I don’t have class or work or any other responsibilities, I’ll lay in bed and allow the warmth to fill me up. And, just like plants in the same way sun gives them life, I feel life flowing into me as well. I’ve learned this year about…

[rian-t]

A Lesson from a Mountain

A Lesson from a Mountain

In Krabi, Thailand, there is a place called Tiger Cave Temple, a Buddhist temple that sits on a mountain nearly 1,000 feet high (278 meters to be exact.) The cave got its name from a monk who, when meditating, claims to have seen tigers walking through the cave. Ever since, the site has been a popular tourist attraction that only the strong-willed can enjoy… after all, not everyone is willing to…

[rian-t]

Getting Past the Fear

Getting Past the Fear

I have never had a fear that I haven’t done my best to face. When I was afraid of heights, I jumped from a cliff into waters that engulfed me and washed me from the tremble I felt before the leap. I climbed a mountain and veered over the edge, looking from a thousand feet at the ground below. I soared in planes above the clouds and watched out the window for hours until the sun set and there was…

[rian-t]

x

[rian-t]

To The One Who Broke My Heart...

To The One Who Broke My Heart…

To the one who broke my heart, thank you.

Thank you for leaving me shattered and alone as I was left to pick up the pieces you left behind. Because of this, I have been able to see how every part of me comes together to create the beautiful and strong woman I am.

Thank you for not being able to love me the way I wanted to be loved. I can see now the kind of love I deserve. I can see now…

[rian-t]

Free

I’m learning to break the chains that have binded me to a life of confinement and insecurity. Insecurity in myself and who I really am. Insecurity in the world I live in and all it has to offer. With each day that passes, I feel the grip around my ankles loosen ever so slightly. There are days where I still stumble and trip and the bruises that cover my elbows from every fall remind me of the…