satelliterayne

[satelliterayne]

[satelliterayne]

every single bit of trivia i learn about the rwrb movie is fucking insane. what do you mean matthew lopez and robbie taylor hunt got into the bed together to figure out how the paris sex scene would work. what do you mean nicholas galitzine is descended from royalty. what do you mean it's among prime video's top three romantic comedies of all time. what do you mean it surpassed both barbie and oppenheimer to become the most popular movie on letterboxd.

[satelliterayne]

i genuinely love when people criticize books that i enjoyed- i think it makes me a better writer and it makes me actually analyze the books i read and dig into them deeper so that i have an actual defense for why i love them- HOWEVER!! if anyone says anything bad about Red White and Royal Blue i will start crying and become irrationally angry

[satelliterayne]

#boyfriends that are silly together stay together

[satelliterayne]

(x)

[satelliterayne]

My mom pointed out the intimacy of Buck using the phrase “it’s me” before breaking down Eddie’s door and honestly, I can’t stop thinking about it.

“If you’re not gonna be honest with Frank at least be honest with me”

“You don’t have to pretend with me.”

“It’s me. Can I come in?” It’s just me. It’s okay. I know you wouldn’t open the door for anyone else, but would you do it for me?

[satelliterayne]

Eddie is so ‘dad shaped’ as May likes to remind him and he denies it until the day that Hen leaves the station and they have a new probie and the new kid starts and she’s barely 21 and graduated from highschool a year early and has a degree in conservation and biology of all things and Eddie looks at her and immediately picks up on the small rainbow tattooed on her hand. He’s spent 30 years of his life repressed, sue him if he likes knowing that the generations after him are safer to be out and proud about it. He also can see that shes anxiously pulling her long sleeves down as if to cover it and so he goes over and shows her his home screen which is of course him and Buck and Chris at LA pride last year and the watery smile she gives him makes it worth it when he notices at lunch that her sleeves are pulled up to her elbows. After that it just accidentally becomes a ThingTM anytime someone enters the firehouse thats even a little bit gay Eddie just… adopts them (Ravi insists he was the first queer that Eddie adopted but Buck maintains that its just misplaced Stockholm syndrome from when Eddie saved Ravi from a chainsaw wielding Buck). He doesn’t do it on purpose, he just aches sometimes, imagining them coming into the firehouse and not knowing for sure if they will be accepted or just tolerated.

Jay comes into the firehouse just after Cora and they immediately gravitate towards Eddie, soon his weekends off are filled with wine nights at Karen and Hen’s that have grown to include Cora and her girlfriend and Jay complaining about their crush on Dylan who works at the 136 with Lena and then May starts coming and then it just spirals from there. There is a groupchat used to coordinate babysitting for date nights and wine nights and memes. so so so many memes.(Eddie is out of his comfort zone and why the fuck does Cora keep sending raccoon memes that are mildly concerning) 

Jay’s little brother who’s Christophers age hangs out at the firehouse to do his homework ONE TIME and Eddie learns that Jay was “asked to find another place to live” after coming out and that their little brother followed after announcing he was bisexual. Eddie aches for them and on his next 48 off he ropes Buck into making dinner and he invites Jay and Blake over for a family dinner and pretends to not notice when Jay thanks Buck for their first real homecooked meal in years, from that day forward there is a standing invitation for the siblings and Buck teaches them both how to cook.  Cora ends up spending the night on his couch after her first real fight with her girlfriend, he wakes up the following morning to the sound of Chris practicing his speech for his sophomore AP english class and Cora listening so intently and giving such good pointers that it makes Eddie joke about her being the big sister Chris has always wanted before pulling her into a hug before she leaves (he also ends up officiating her wedding and cries. Buck has proof). May comes over before she introduces her girlfriend to Athena and Bobby for the first time and Ravi just comes over whenever he wants to complain about how gay panic inducing it is for hot guys to live in his apartment complex and work out at the same time as him. 

Eddie has moved on from being nicknamed 8-pack and is now dubbed mother duck because “Eddie you adopted us like fucked up trauma ducklings and now we follow you around” said by a very deadpan Jay. (Eddie does NOT cry when Chris and Blake go to senior prom together.) Even farther into the future, when he becomes captain of the 118 he prides himself on having the queerest shift in the LAFD, he keeps a pride flag in his office, next a framed picture of him and Buck on their wedding day, Chris and Blake’s wedding invitations and 7 rubber ducks, all signed by his original crew of adopted ducklings.

Idk man I just really need to see Eddie cope with Chris growing up by adopting traumatized queer firefighters on accident. 

[satelliterayne]

baby girl 🤝 bisexual 🤝 beloved

evan buckley

[satelliterayne]

eddie diaz is a secret swiftie and he has a playlist full of songs that make him think of buck and he cries every time he hears Best Day bc it makes him think of chris growing up and whenever he posts on instagram (literally once every three months) he uses taylor swift lyrics that he keeps in a note on his phone as the captions (he doesn’t know how to lock the note so it’s labeled “grocery shopping”) and when he and buck fight/argue he tries to see how often he can sneak a taylor swift lyric into the conversation. buck surprises him with a set of all her cd’s for christmas one year and tickets to the eras tour. (yes eddie still uses cd’s he insists they sound better) chris loves listening to his dad serenade buck in the kitchen with taylor swift when they think he’s asleep. after the All Too Well (taylor’s version) (the 10 minute version) is dropped the entire family refuses to watch any jake gyllenhall movies. eddie saw the headlines about taylor swift and joe alwyn breaking up and made buck text taylor kelly to see if she could confirm if it was true.

buck is an edm fan and a huge raver bc the beep boop noises help his adhd. he’s PR’d like 7 times listening to subtronics in the gym. he and chris make kandi together and when chris hands him a “rave dad” kandi he cries. he drags eddie to a lowkey rave and they take chris to another smaller one before they’re convinced to take a week off and take chris to lost lands once he turns 13. eddie volunteers his time as a medic to festivals in LA while buck runs off and makes tons of friends. buck wears mesh tops and body glitter while eddie wears a dj shirt with shorts (“why are the inseams on these like 3 inches buck?” “you have to be a little bit slutty it’s a rave!!”) chris loves being on bucks shoulders to see the stage and with most festivals being accessible and chris being cute they oftentimes make their way to the rail and can headbang together. chris falls in love with the scene and surprises his dad and his buck with a 60 minute set of taylor swift remixes for their anniversary after they get him equipment one year for his birthday.

Idk man sometimes i think and this is what happens

[satelliterayne]

these days i haven’t been sleeping 

i lay awake 

my mind revisiting the memories my body is trying so hard to forget 

the way your hand circled my neck 

a knee between my thighs 

an arm braced at my side 

like somehow you were the one carrying the weight of your actions 

another friday for you became an unspeakable memory for me 

i have long forgotten what it feels like to be the girl from before 

the one who smiled with no bared teeth 

or dressed without covering her body

my first therapist told me that in seven years i will no longer have a body touched by you 

2555 days i will have lived with your mistake branding who i am 

but for now 

i spill these secrets into my writing 

i cut my heart open and bleed across the paper 

look at what i have made out of your decisions

i have chosen to make art out of the worst day of my life 

i have chosen to be good 

i just want to be good

[satelliterayne]

a poem about the unavoidable grief of losing a friend

i let this feeling swallow me whole/ leaning into missing you/ in the way one misses their childhood home/ the rooms are empty of life but full of memories/ we are cobwebs and dust/ existing at the same time/ some part of me will always be caught up in you/ if i listen hard enough i swear i can hear your laugh/ the echos of your footsteps when you leave/ the quiet click of the door/ an exit unbecoming of our history/ someday i will be strong enough to examine every memory with fondness/ and a smile reserved for you/ and what we were/ you’ll find me placing flowers at the doorstep/ an act of kindness/ for our final goodbye.

thank you, for loving me through it. long live <3

[satelliterayne]

the kitchen scene wouldn’t stop making me think of the one meme so

[satelliterayne]

watching 9-1-1 and Criminal Mind simultaneously makes me wish i was a good enough fic writer to write a story about maddie being in the BAU and doug being a serial killer that’s stalking her, bobby is obv hotch while eddie and buck are like morgan and penelope (side plot of them fucking behind everyone’s back *chefs kiss* ) and reid is obv ravi bc i said so. hen is emily bc… lesbians. chim would be JJ and deal with the media. and there’s found family and friends to lovers and an “oh. oh.” moment.

[satelliterayne]

this poem is the reason i (attempt) to write good poetry in case you were wondering

[satelliterayne]

RAVI PANIKKAR APPRECIATION WEEK

day six: favorite quotes

[satelliterayne]

y’all ever have a crush on your favorite fic writer without seeing what they look like??? i’m catching feelings while reading smut (don’t let my feelings confuse you i am the epitome of a normal 20 yr old i promise)