#i just want to be good

[yourparalysisdemonsgayson]

A drawing/painting I made <3

[x-itzzzzzz-x]

i hate autism and i hate people and i hate everything and why is it nye and all i can think abt is how much i hate everything and everyone and myself and ir just always sucks and this year will be no different so why shouldn’t i jusy kms

[oofaz]

.

[wisecrackingbrat]

nothing better than hearing u have good teeth/gums/dental hygiene from the dentist. worth the stress of the occasional filling by far

[sleavesofgrass]

I made the mistake of basing my whole personality and identity on being a writer. And because it’s the most important thing to me, I have avoided sharing it with people because I don’t know how to stomach the criticism. And what if the feedback tells me that I’m not actually as good as I thought I was? It’s the only thing I’ve ever been good at, but what it I’m not actually good!? Idk what I’d do… I don’t know who I am if I’m not a writer

[jenn-the-mostly-harmless]

Ugh. I have noticed that lately that, although I am getting way better at interacting with people face to face, I am getting worse at interacting on tumblr. Like nothing I'm saying is especially awful or offensive, but it's ruder than it used to be and in places where people can misunderstand it as being "at them" when I wasn't thinking of it that way.

I hate bothering people, and I hate being a hateful person to others. It's probably stress run off because in the real world I'm doing an amazing job of socializing with my loved ones, dealing with depression from my dad's death, dealing with triggering land lords and having outsiders in my home, trying to ramp up for moving, and most recently, trying to navigate some pretty heady trauma from my childhood brought up again by my brother being a disgusting human being to the extent that my mom and I plan to cut off contact.

Like, I'm dealing with a bunch of bullshit, but it isn't right to make that other people's problem. Maybe I just stop responding to posts for awhile? I sincerely don't want to make other people's days harder. My own posts seem to get mostly ignored, so maybe that's a safe space?

[boxocats]

i have GOT to stop being harsh on myself and on my art and pushing myself to the point of not eating for like seven hours 

[kochei0]

I turn to Ares.

Thanks to Tyler Miles Lockett who allowed me to draw inspiration from his ARES piece for page 2! Look at his etsy page it's SICK

⚔️ If you want to read some queer retelling of arturian legends have a look at my webtoon

[lesbian-disaster-academic]

i used to be so good at writing strong, thoroughly-researched, thoroughly-edited essays.

as a kid in hs, my teacher literally came up to me, holding my 40 page essay on the intersection of the European witch hunts and capitalism/exploitation/gender roles (it was supposed to be 7 pages...whoops) and went like "this is literally a master's-degree level thesis. what are you doing?? you could literally use this as your final dissertation in a master's program, what the fuck."

NOW??? NOW?? you'd think I'd be oh so skilled. but alas. i can barely piece together two ideas. adhd skill-regression is so so real. im SOBBING

[camilleflyingrotten]

ABANDONED CREATURE(s)

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TODAY

[mynnthia]

was talking with a friend about how some of dunmeshi fаndom misunderstands kabru's initial feelings towards laios.

to sum up kabru's situation via a self-contained modernized metaphor:

kabru is like a guy who lost his entire family in a highly traumatic car accident. years later he joins a discord server and takes note of laios, another server member who seems interesting, so they start chatting. then laios reveals his special interest and favorite movie of all time is David Cronenberg's Crash (1996), and invites kabru to go watch a demolition derby with him

[castielfucks]

x

[hansoeii]

I probably won't finish this piece any time soon, but I wanted to share the unfinished version with you anyways!

[littledeadling]

Nervous Reunion

Bonus:

[sga-owns-my-soul]

reblog to give ur mutuals a soft lil kissy on the head

[elodieunderglass]

changes and trends in horror-genre films are linked to the anxieties of the culture in its time and place. Vampires are the manifestation of grappling with sexuality; aliens, of foreign influence. Horror from the Cold War is about apathy and annihilation; classic Japanese horror is characterised by “nature’s revenge”; psychological horror plays with anxieties that absorbed its audience, like pregnancy/abortion, mental illness, femininity. Some horror presses on the bruise of being trapped in a situation with upsetting tasks to complete, especially ones that compromise you as a person - reflecting the horrors and anxieties of capitalism etc etc etc. Cosmic horror is slightly out of fashion because our culture is more comfortable with, even wistful for, “the unknown.” Monster horror now has to be aware of itself, as a contingent of people now live in the freedom and comfort of saying “I would willingly, gladly, even preferentially fuck that monster.” But I don’t know much about films or genres: that ground has been covered by cleverer people.

I don’t actually like horror or movies. What interests me at the moment is how horror of the 2020s has an element of perception and paying attention.

Multiple movies in one year discussed monsters that killed you if you perceived them. There are monsters you can’t look at; monsters that kill you instantly if you get their attention. Monsters where you have to be silent, look down, hold still: pray that they pass over you. M Zombies have changed from a hand-waved virus that covers extras in splashy gore, to insidious spores. A disaster film is called Don’t Look Up, a horror film is called Nope. Even trashy nun horror sets up strange premises of keeping your eyes fixed on something as the devil GETS you.

No idea if this is anything. (I haven’t seen any of these things because, unfortunately, I hate them.) Someone who understands better than me could say something clever here, and I hope they do.

But the thing I’m thinking about is what this will look like to the future, as the Victorian sex vampires and Cold War anxieties look to us. I think they’ll have a little sympathy, but they probably won’t. You poor little prey animals, the kids will say, you were awfully afraid of facing up to things, weren’t you?