sticksbakes

[sticksbakes]

Sometimes you just have to treat yourself with chocolate! I tackled a fear food of mine, Nutella, and topped it with some banana slices on a low carb wrap. It’s definitely not the highest calorie, but any way I can start healing my relationship with food is good enough for me :)

This week’s recovery has been difficult as I realize I don’t have quite the energy to exercise, but I have to remember that I deserve food unconditionally and I don’t need to “earn” it.

These past few weeks have been chaotic and I’ve forgotten important things to discuss in therapy, so I’ve started journaling!

The next food I’ll be tackling: loaf cakes or cake in general! I keep telling myself every week that I’ll make a cake but I never have the courage… but I might be able to fit in a slice of banana bread 👀

[sticksbakes]

(Posted from my instagram @lilyonarosea to get back on track lol)

Here’s a pineapple banana smoothie I topped with walnuts! Just one banana, maybe 7 pineapple slices and some milk :)

Big news, I’m going to see a nutritionist in September! It may seem a while away and I may look like I’m taking care of things on my own, but getting with a nutritionist will help me pursue weight loss in a way that still respects my body and gives me energy! I’ve put weight loss on the back burner until then, working on my relationship with food and body image (which is admittedly poor.)

I had been majorly restricting my food, but last week and moving forward I decided to get back to at least maintenance. I had a few days of extreme hunger which was difficult but worth it to honor, and I still have a larger appetite than usual. I’m still counting calories at most meals (okay, every meal), but I’ve stopped counting them up and upsetting myself at the end of the day.

Some big wins have been having enough energy to bike again, learning how to make fried chicken, and even though it triggered me afterwards, I got to try a delicious “chocolately pretzel” McFlurry! The calories on it was astonishing, but I had been restricting that day anyways… I still see progress ♥️

[sticksbakes]

(Posted from my Instagram @lilyonarosea to get back on track lol)

This is just a low-carb wrap that I made because I was admittedly too afraid to use a regular tortilla. It was pretty good, but this is just a step to enjoying the real thing. Anyways, this was made with tuna, feta cheese, leftover bits of celery, and beans & rice leftovers!

Yesterday I had a lot of victories- I faced 3 fear foods!- but today I backtracked a bit. Yesterday I had more calories than I’ve allowed myself to have in a long while, and I definitely didn’t meet that today… yesterday I had a slice of pie with ice cream, a normal meal with my family, *and* a big breakfast I had been afraid to eat for about a month! Today? I was afraid and I had snacks instead of meals ❤️‍🩹

I’ve decided to hide the calorie count on my posts, in order to encourage the enjoyment of all foods and opening myself up to an audience of people both going through and recovering from eating disorders, as well as those fully appreciating their food and bodies. I refuse to think I am any more superior than someone else for depriving my body while they nourish theirs, and adding calorie counts makes my ED a little more proud when it has no right to be. So I’ll continue to post my food, selfies, recipes, but the calorie counts will be on the second slide to prevent triggering but still encourage expanding our safe foods.

[sticksbakes]

This recipe is adapted from @avocado_skillet on IG! I changed the title a bit because it doesn’t taste like “banana bread” to me, but tastey nonetheless! With topping my mug came out to 300 cal, but I went a little crazy with the chocolate 😅

Banana & Chocolate Oatmeal Mug

Ingredients:

-1/2 banana, mashed

-1/2 cup oat flour (just blend your oats 1-1)

-1/2 tsp baking powder

-Plant milk (I used almond milk), the recipe calls for 1/2 cup but I would use a bit less

Toppings:

Nuts, white or dark choc. squares, chocolate syrup. I used a KitKat and white chocolate, so truly whatever!

Instructions:

-mash banana at bottom of mug

-blend oats and spoon into mug

-add baking powder and plant milk

-microwave for 1 min 30 sec OR bake at 375 degrees for 20 minutes

Enjoy!

[sticksbakes]

So… it’s not exactly a homemade recipe or anything like that, but this tastes so good! Definitely satisfies my sweet tooth and makes cereal a bit less guilty!

Chocolate Milk Cereal- 150 calories

1/2 cup chocolate milk of choice (I used Hershey’s SF Choc. Syrup with unsweetened Almond milk)

1 cup of cereal of choice (I used Honey Smacks and choc. peanut butter Cheerios)

Pour chocolate milk into cereal, drizzle with chocolate syrup

Top with nuts or fruit!

Enjoy!

I didn’t do this myself, but it is worth experimenting with hot chocolate!

[sticksbakes]

I’m sorry for being inactive, this eating disorder has been kicking my ass. I got up and fought it today, but it’s just leftover food. I’m not going to let this ED take over my summer again, though, I am going to recover back to 130 lbs and start fresh and happy. I can’t wait to bake more soon!

[sticksbakes]

Tomorrow I’m making some nesquik oatmeal, can’t wait to see how it turns out!

[sticksbakes]

Coffee Cake Oatmeal, 180 calories

Time: <5 minutes

Ingredients:

-1/4 cup Instant oats

-1 FiberOne Brownie (Streusel Cake variety)

-dollop of Cottage Cheese

-sprinkle of Cinnamon

Instructions:

1. prepare instant oats per packaging, cook halfway through

2. crumble FiberOne brownie and mix into oatmeal, finish heating

3. cottage cheese and cinnamon to taste (a little bit goes a long way!)

4. Opt. small apple, sliced

Enjoy!

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This looks so yummy!

https://www.instagram.com/domsli22/

[sticksbakes]

I’m gonna bake my first cake soon!

[sticksbakes]

320 cal “Kitchen Sink Ramen”

Transcription: “Dinner: 1/2 block ramen (190 cal); 1 crab stick (20 cal); 1 sheet seaweed; 1 egg (70 cal); 1 tbsp peanut sauce (40 cal); =320 cal”

Ramen has been a major fear food of mine, but not any longer! Instead of a 370 cal package of just ramen itself with some salty seasoning, here you can enjoy a large bowl of ramen with all of the goodies and none of the guilt!

Directions:

- boil a pot of water

- peel 1 crab stick into thin strips

- throw 1/2 block ramen and crab into pot, until noodles are soft

- add seaweed and 1 tbsp peanut sauce

- top with a pan-fried egg

Note: leave water from the pot in the ramen for a more filling experience!

Enjoy!

[sticksbakes]

Quick "Crab & Cucumber Toast" Recipe (130 cal, 1 serving)

Transcription: [Lunch: 1 slice Rye toast (80 cal), 1/2 tbsp. Dill dip (28), 5 slices cucumber (>5) , 1 crab stick (20 cal); total= roughly 130 cal]

Directions:

-Lightly toast rye bread

-peel crab stick into thin strips (save red strips for later)

-spread dill dip (Marzetti) onto toast

-place crab stick (Seafood Snackers) strips

-slice and place cucumbers

-optional, layer more dill dip on cucumber

-add final red layers of crab stick (Seafood Snackers)

Enjoy!