#& don't be surprised when the world does the same and chooses dicks over you. If only people defended innocence with that level of vigor... | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

the-firebird69 · 2 years

Text

Some say the caskets were steel and the Brain case sealed and then they were in bombs very well the brains would be fine you can be transferred into new bodies and I think the caskets aren't there people scan say they're still there and a shielded from scans so you don't know if they're there it's a simple process to remove them put someone else in there and I think that the robot computer did it because it's a certain day that they're playing on leaving and I think they're under the building either way it still would work.

This is a fun part the ship is painfully close to them and it is done to you it's old they couldn't stand stuff like that

Zues Hera

Fine world class what else do you want to say

Trumpy

you don't need the ships and I do he says and I don't care for you know him and you don't seem to know cuz you're a fool and a Baffin and because you're so stupid and don't believe it at all you can't be letting know all at once

Further I say it's there you go there and you're trying for it and it's not necessarily there in your mind so you're a fool what kind of jackass does that you know what the jackass

Zues Hera

I hear this too everyone has scans in seas

Trump

it's not true a******. Only the ones with good scans have and they probably fool you all day and night cuz you're not too hard to fool as a matter of fact you can tell you the truth to your face and you still just sit there and not believing it cuz you choose not to I know it's Dave fooled you and your c********* who would fall for it for instance that video is out earlier they made the videos like right when they made the song back then and Prince says yes all of artists will agree and it was BG in the office after 97 and you are aware of it you and your glory to stop Dempsey in my face cuz my brother before that and you weren't aware of that I don't think and he did the 911 thing and you were aware of that no it looks like you but he did it and use that same plane that you are investigating the insects with and from Brandon it flew over that's what he was controlling the planes with you missed it because he was sending intermittent instructions to the Androids or whatever you call them borg

So you're bored and other people will beat you there and then they'll beat you off and you know how you like to do that yourself you f****** homo in front of police well that's your stuff that's what you want to pursue

Zues Hera

I'm understanding something you want to fight and all the stuff

Trump

you're a coward Trump, you want to pick on the old man you backed off cuz I had to shovel what kind of p**** are you

Zues

I'm starting to see something what if I had a loaded weapon

Trump

There's plenty of people who have shot you already because you're saying it not to mention having one.

Zues

What am I talking about then

Trump

You talking about nothing you talking about threatening me insulting me parading me bothering me and checking out from a fight cuz he won't fight me cuz I can beat you quite easily and you don't believe anything I'm saying and other people do and they're going to get there before you and they're going to preclude you from having scans which they have just demented little s*** running around threatening me for who the hell knows what a scrap f****** auto business you got rid of all your people in the Midwest cuz you wanted to dick around with us and you're messing around with bja and your own son they beat the s*** out of you because you're a f**** you're such a f**** your best friend backstabbed you violently and is doing it every single day probably had to do the video dick cunt boy. Man you are a stopping sopping p**** too in school

Zues Hera

Used to beat people's heads in remember saying it's going to have to do that to you

Trump

Oh gosh you're lying about another thing how surprising actually got in fights so what he was telling me he's going to kill you I said you should and he went ahead and did it but that's fine you don't even know anything about it but he knows that hogtied f****** f**** he did all sorts of s*** to you after I told him what you were doing it's either doing it now and just send it back people can a test to it to you little f**** they have the information why don't you ask about that you f****** little f**** what a f****** homo sitting there ruining everyone's playing by bothering me you're such a addicted f****** f**** ass homo I can't believe people tolerate you doing this but I look around and they're all like wimpy f***** down here in Florida no wonder you came down here hide with a bunch of f****** old s**** they're f**** ass lazy lousy lose herself miss the whole thing just sat here bothering everybody it wasn't for me nobody would know you're a hokey piece of s*** Joel didn't even believe what I'm saying about ships everyone else has scans and preclude you because you're a p**** p**** p**** you're a f****** p**** p**** p**** p**** p**** f**** ass f**** p**** mother f***** you f****** deaf p**** mother f***** you can't get a scan cuz you're a p**** that's what they're saying to you dumb ass f****** p****

Zues Hera

I certainly see something you're a wizard with words

Trump

You're an over inflated windbag with nothing important to do and nothing important to say other people have an agenda to try and take over my clans plan so you just sit right back there and let Dave continue to drill you for whatever you have the outfit is ships to feel the ships and let them try and find them and you'll see their fictional which is great I don't want you to have anything and boy are you annoying it's like get me pissed off so I talk about it but hell I'm talking about it to who okay like you say and it's an annoying thing by the way who am I talking to her about answer the question s*** head come on s*** head it's English answer it I'm talking to you no no you're a f*** head you're a moron someone put their dick in your head you're a stupid person

Zues Hera

You're not paying attention at all Joel we all see and hear what he's saying and writing you're a f*** head that means you're stupid I'm going to take your s*** and take your position when you want revenge on him so bad this one here didn't do it you're such a f****** pushover and sucker that you're ruined everything when it wasn't even him it's Dave you dumb mother f***** I'm going to shoot you all the time now everyone is just such a f****** lazy a****** and p**** you're a p**** for him back then and your p**** now you get to talk then he says it that way too A lot of people listen to it cuz I understand what you're saying now you are a wimp you don't even know those things are there tons of people have scans and you can't get one

Your so weak Trump your liability you're ruining it for everybody else and they need them because of foreigners are going to outnumber them and out man them and outskill them he really needs a silence you cuz you don't know about it you're just this f****** moron it's kind of good though think about my perspective that you're doing it to help me okay have a dog s*** dog s***

Zues Hera

Okay I see there might be something so I should be quiet but I get something hear this vehement a******

Trump

You incited me for 30 years now I'm going to knock you out and you're going to sit there and say stuff and it's going to get really loud cuz you're a you're a p**** you're a p u s s y a f****** weak ass turd you can say whatever you like I'm going to kill you for it do you understand you're a dead man I'm putting a hit on you it's going to be a number out there it goes out every time I say it it's ironic someone keeps doing that to you when I say to do it isn't it it's just irony man you're such a goddamn weirdo literary professor you need to be put down these people are going to lose their main course will and Bill should get rid of you I don't know why they're not they say they're tired but really it's on now you understand the sequence is running their programs running their timing is now I started on my birthday I'm starting to see that

Zues Hera

Oh have a nice time dying tonight okay slob twice at least Brian hammers you with a hammer sees what you're doing what you're doing is nothing you're a waste of time and space bye have a nice time dying dick head your wife hits you your friend hits you think about it how much of a pain in the ass you are to me how much you deserve this and no it's not penance

0 notes

0606-hyuck · 3 years

Text

BOYFRIEND!HENDERY

includes:

♡ before the relationship

♡ becoming comfortable/humour

♡ relationships with other members

♡ jealousy/pda/flirting

♡ disagreements

♡ dates/texting/social media

♡ languages/"i love you"

masterlist

enjoy!

wc: 1.7k

♡ before the relationship ♡

hendery had noticed you hung out in a spot he went to reguarly

the first few times he saw you he would simply admire you from a distance

and then he realised how creepy that was and decided to actually go up and talk to you

on the inside he was quite nervous, but on the outside he conveyed an air of confidence that you liked

so of course you gave him your number

and soon you were hanging out all the time

you quickly realise that hendery is...something lol

but not it a bad way

you never know what sort of shit you and hendery are going to get into, he's so unpredictable

he confessed to you first

let's be honest, he developed a crush on you really quick

but he was still nervous to admit his feelings for you, even though it was obvious you liked him back

one of the only times you've seen him so shy and nervous lol

he bought you a bouquet of flowers and took you out to lunch and confessed to you there

he was really worried you'd turn him down so he was kinda surprised when you said yes to him being your boyfriend

♡ becoming comfortable/humour ♡

nothing much changed when you started dating

he had always been his crazy self around you anyway

but he became more cuddly and affectionate towards you which was cute

randomly comes up and smothers you in kisses when you're not even doing anything

LOVES back hugs!!

imagine hendery coming up behind you and wrapping his hands around your waist while he buries his face in the crook of your neck

omg i'm in tears

speaking of tears, hendery has you crying with laughter daily

let's all admit it now, homie is hilarious

he literally went to a comedy/acting school???

so ofc he's going to be effortlessly making you smile all the time

in my opinion he has the best banter and loves to joke around with you

nothing is off-limits for him

he catches on to your jokes really quickly and is super witty so you have so many long running inside jokes with him

a little bit uncomfortable when you're crying so instead of reassuring you he tries his best to make you laugh to take your mind off your problems

the definition of 3am thoughts

"water is wet, don't fight me on this y/n"

makes you question both the world and your sanity at random times

he's actually really smart though so his 3am questions are both entertaining and convincing

feels the need to fill in silence with his own voice all the time

even if you're cuddling with him

can go like 2 mins without talking

and then suddenly his mouth is by your ear and he's asking you whether you believe in a specific conspiracy theory

it's kind of soothing though

just lying in hendery's arms, listening to him argue his points about something while you slowly doze off

♡ relationship with other members ♡

he was really keen to introduce you to the other members of wayv

because you're an important part of his life and so are they

luckily they all accepted you really quickly

and for once hendery is the one being teased because he's in a relationship

"oh my god hendery is so fuckin whipped for you!" "disgusting"

but hendery doesn't care because hell yeah! he is whipped for you! he isn't embarrassed at all

you deserve to be showed off and loved bby

wayv eventually stops with the teasing when they realise they're not going to get a reaction out of hendery

and they don't even blink an eye when you come over to the dorms

also yangyang specifically really likes you because you humour his teasing and jokes

and since you're dating hendery you're basically an older sister to yangyang

♡ jealousy/pda/flirting ♡

hendery LOVES to flirt with you

sometimes he says really greasy pick up lines to you

other times he's sooo romantic

he will also tell you how much he loves you anywhere

literally praises for days

he especially loves flirting with you in front of the rest of wayv

he's so shameless lol

sometimes the other members can't even stand being in the same room as you and hendery because he's so whipped for you

and it's strange for them to see him flirting nonstop lmaoo

and he absolutely loves it when you flirt back

like it makes his heart race so fast

but your flirting also just boosts his ego and confidence

i just feel like he'd be a really good (but cheesy) flirter

and when you flirt back he's like "aww that's cute you're trying" but he loves being praised too

ugh someone just tell hendery how amazing he is and how much he's loved please

i can't see hendery getting jealous at all

if wayv is jokingly hitting on you he'd probably join in (unless you were uncomfortable ofc) because he loves praising you and making you blush

even if it was a stranger he'd find it amusing they were trying to flirt with you

"good try pal but y/n is not going to get with you"

he usually doesn't interfere either unless you really feel uncomfortable because he knows you won't flirt back

hendery trust you so much that it doesn't even cross his mind you'd ever cheat on him or hurt him that way

and if you did cheat you'd absolutely break his heart and i would be legally obligated to hit you over the head with a baseball bat multiple times

but you never would because you love hendery too much to ever lose him

for some reason i can see hendery not being phased by pda?

he's doesn't hesitate to kiss you in public and hold your hand and give you back hugs and cute shit like that

because mans knows how lucky he is to be with you and is so proud to be your boyfriend

so ofc he's going to show you off at any opportunity

♡ disagreements? ♡

idk what you guys would have disagreements about

because his relationship with you is the first serious one he's ever had

so he tries his absolute best to be the perfect boyfriend

and he's not far off it tbh

always thinking of you and things you'd like

he just puts so much effort into the relationship

and the second he accidentally upsets you or does something you don't like he's on his knees begging for forgiveness

and you're like "hendery, baby, it's not even that serious. you got the wrong flavour of ice cream but i'm not even upset" lol

♡ dates/texting/social media ♡

dates with hendery are always so thought out and fun

he remembers little things you've said in passing that you like

so if you said "oh i prefer fun, active things" he'd make sure your next date includes lots of opportunities to run around and get close to you

he's just down for whatever makes you happiest because the most important thing for him is seeing you smile :)

when he's away homeboy misses you so much he has no idea what to do with himself

constantly moans to wayv how much he misses you

rings you every night after he's finished his schedule to tell you about his day and listen to yours

usually you're the one listening to hendery talk but it's okay because you like to listen to him and he makes sure to ask you if he's boring you (which he never is)

there's no specific time he texts you during the day

he's not really the type to send good morning/good night texts unless you were already texting

however he randomly sends you pictures of his pets, louis, leon, and bella lol

and we're talking super zoomed in photos or him holding their ears/tails/paws in a funny position

basically 90% of his social media is you/selfies with you

he already posts selfies heaps so he doesn't mind adding you into the mix

as we've previously discussed he's not worried about showing you off

so he's not on that "i can't post my partner on insta" bullshit

it may seem sweet that hendery posts pics of you heaps but be warned

he does not care if you are pulling an embarrassing face in the pictures

in fact that makes him want to post it even more lol

you're constantly on his instagram stories too

he has a habit of randomly photoshopping his and your faces onto other people and then posting that??

don't ask me why but he finds it hilarious and totally normal to do that, so he does

he also likes leaving funny comments on your own posts

and he definitely sends your own posts to you in a text saying something like "I JUST DROPPED MY KIMCHI YOU LOOK SO GORGEOUS"

your hype man

♡ languages/"i love you" ♡

hendery prefers to talk to you in chinese (cantonese/mandarin)

but he'll also learn english or korean for you since he has the basics down and friends to help him practice

any other language he will struggle through to learn because he want to make you happy

hendery is the first one to say "i love you"

he's so in love with you that he probably says it after like a month of dating

so you're a little bit shocked but you can tell he really means it

and he'd be kind of shy about it because he knows it's a bit soon to be saying stuff like that

but he really wants you to know how he feels about you

because he's never felt this way about anyone and his love and affection for you is literally bursting from him

aww

i honestly don't know much about hendery

except he's an absolute sweetie and would 110% be the best boyfriend ever

if i could choose anyone out of wayv to be my boyfriend i'd definitely choose hendery

because i know my feelings are gonna be validated and i'm going to feel loved 24/7 and also peeing myself with laughter

anyway only people with big dick energy stan wayv

so if you have a big dick, stream kick back 😜

#neowritingsnet #nct #nct 2020 #wayv #nct scenario #nct imagine #wayv scenario #wayv imagine #wayv as your boyfriends #hendery #hendery nct #nct hendery #wayv hendery #hendery wayv #hendery x reader #hellabts #huang guanheng

88 notes · View notes

fandom-blackhole · 3 years

Note

First of all give Gwen a good belly rub and a kith om her head. I bet she is a good girl. Also, I don't know what kind of force bond thingy is this but you and I think in almost the same wa. No worries me likey!

AAA I was thinking about Fennec too! See told you we are connected,

Boba having grandpa moment sksksks but yes, he loves Fennec as much as he loves you,

Also, for the love of God, don't ask him to take photos of you,

All your selfies with him end up looking like this 😐Boba 🤗You,

Boba was feeling extra and bought two diamonds collars, one smaller for Fennec and a bigger one for you,

If, he was not a crime lord and didn't meet you he would end up being like a crazy old cat lady,

Is your head okay? It must be painful to have a brain the size of the universe.

Yes, yes, yes Paz definitely helps hurt animals and went out of his way to get rhe right diploma for that,

Din is butthurt when children flood him with question when will Mr Paz come again,

But he swallows his pride and totally participates in eco wokness classes,

Recently I watched a documentary on YouTube about japanese bunny cafe sooo

Paz has also area for the rabbits in the restaurant???

One day on his way to work Paz came across a pupper in distress and he performed a cpr on the dog, someone filmed it and it went viral,

You were scrolling through Instagram and had to double take

Wait was it? No it can't be

Omg Paz my hero, being friends with animals like a Disney princess,

I need you to lay down, your back must be hurt as well. Hurt from carrying this AU on your back queen.

Space themed room for Grogu 10/10 idea and your idea for the metal ball works so well!

Grogu + Din + Running = one day you end up tending to your boys, there are some scratches on their knees and elbows, but mostly Din took the damage(like it was bound to happen there are compilations of din landing on his butt),

Grogu's stroller must be made out of some, really resilient material (beskar??),

Grogu being freaked out by Fennec, like he sees a kitty but the kitty behaves like a doggo??? (srsly Maine Coons are the best high five bestie),

Boba tried to snap a pic of Grogu and Fennec, yeah, we know how it ended up looking,

Grogu desperately tries to steal and sneak in snacks for uncle Paz' pupper because it's so tiny, must feed it a lot! (oh bless his poor soul, little angel),

You and Din spent a whole day shopping for a space themed blankie, literally went to every shop possible, you were too dedicated to the cause but you ended up placing an order on-line,

When Boba had to go abroad for business, you settled on having a FaceTime date,

You wanted to surprise him so he would try his best to come back home as soon as possible,

You call him up appearing on his screen, wearing his favorite lingerie,

Only to end up to a close up of Boba's forehead and him saying

Princess I can't see you, can you hear me, baby girl are you there??,

Srsly what's wrong with him not being able to use the technology correctly,

You decided on sending him pictures, yours were really spicy, you wanted to show him what he was missing,

Well, he send you a pic too. You weren't sure if it was his arm, leg, or his dick.

Maybe you need to check if his camera is stuck on some type of foggy filter because it's just ridiculous at this point,

Sorry I kinda went all of the place with those. If you want to stick up to specific theme you can choose! Or we can just keep up the random brainstorming - 🐣

Kajdksmskaksb stop! You can't be this nice to me lmao. (Also its funny you mention that my brain must hurt bc I do have chronic headaches and migraines) oh and Gwen says thank you for the belly rub and kisses.....

Lmao Boba is a total grandpa when it comes to technology

He totally takes pictures for you like this

Diamond collar you say 👀👀👀 (Boba's princess is totally inscribed on the inside)

TRYING TO FUCKING FACETIME WITH BOBA OMFG

This man is just fuckinv holding the phone like you would when speaking on the phone, you're just seeing the side of his head

He totally tried to send a disk pick but he only got his thigh and like part of his left ball in the picture, not that you can tell

How the fuck does this man have a phone that has the ability to take pictures as good as the best cameras out there manage to only get pictures that look like they were taken with a flip phone?!?!?!

Din's students definitely ask every day when Paz is coming, they just love him and it takes sssoooooo long for him to come back lmao

Paz's restaurant has places for all types of animals, it doesn't matter what they are he has thought of something for them, and he has food for all of them

Paz totally accidentally becomes viral and gets interviewed by so many news channels, and of course he uses the exposure for good and makes an Instagram to show case the restaurant, his organization, and all of the charities he helps

The Instagram blows up and becomes verified and all the money he makes from it he donates to a new charity each month

(He starts hanging up all the fanart he receives all over the restaurant, especially the ones done by kids)

Ok so Din coming home just covered in scratches and your just like 'wtf happened?!?!!'

Turns out Grogu tried to jump out of the stroller while he was jogging and he had to catch him

Din's entire arm and knee + part of his cheek are just scratched to hell, Grogu hand has a small scratch and he's acting like its the end of the world

Grogu + Fennec = over protective pet and the child that it protects

Fennec is constantly pulling Grogu back from trouble by biting his pants leg

Paz's chihuahua (aaaahhh we need a name) loves abusing Grogu's feeding them habit, constantly begging for food around him and he A L W A Y S finds a way to give them some even if you are watching him like a hawk

Also I raise you, Grogu's favorite movies and TV shows are Star Wars

You are constantly trying to convince Din that he looks like Pedro Pascal, but he always deny it

Jokingly one day you say, "you know what you're right Din, Pedro is so much hotter."

He pouts for the rest of the day

For his bday you get Grogu a Luke figure and post it to Twitter, Mark Hamill sees it and retweets it telling him happy bday and may the force be with you

Grogu totally flips out in excitement

Din makes Grogu his own mandalorian helmet that he helps him paint what colors he wants

Paz gets Grogu a telescope and a book about stars

Boba of course spoils the kid and gets the giant lego star wars sets, as well as one of the actual blasters used on set of the OG movies (its one of the ones that that really cool green bounty hunter used 😏)

Also this is us:

Anyways, sorry I was all over the place, I just got so excited lmao!!!

(Send me THOTS!!)

#🐣 anon #modern au #din djarin x reader #din x reader #boba fett x reader #boba x reader #paz vizsla x reader #paz x reader

25 notes · View notes

the-mykie-show · 5 years

Text

The Storm (Neganxreader)

When a storm blows Negan's cell door open you're the first thing he does.

Requested by @lokis-imaginary-friend

*Warnings* Negan's potty mouth, graphic descriptions of sex.

*Rating* explicit

You never understood why you needed a bodyguard to accompany you to deliver Negan’s food. Yes, you had heard the horrible things he had done, Rick had told you before you agreed to take the job of being his caretaker, but he was always a perfect gentleman to you. Well, despite the occasional lewd comment, the use of “fuck” as a coma in his vocabulary, and near constant dick jokes, but what else would you expect from a man who hadn’t gotten in laid in years? And he never threatened you, never even made you feel uncomfortable. Yet every time you went down to his cell, you had to be accompanied by whatever brawny man with a gun was available at the time.

You didn’t like it, you didn’t like the way they always stared at you like you had just slapped them in the face when you were actually nice to Negan.

Nobody else but you in the Alexandria Safe Zone was ever kind to Negan, they simply threw him food and water, and cleaned up after him twice a day and left him to his own devices for the rest of the day. Like he was some vicious stray dog, forgotten and unwanted, when really he was more like a lost puppy that got kicked to much and lashed out one to many times.

It made you sad for him, so you started talking with him, swapping stories, forming inside jokes, telling eachother things about yourselves that nobody else knew, and bringing him small gifts.

You would never forget the puzzled way Michonne looked at you when you had given Negan a small hanging plant.

Was it really so hard for these people to understand that he was a person too?

You always managed to separate yourself from your shadow at least once a week to just let Negan talk to someone without being handcuffed to bars, or having a gun on him. Those were the moments he was the most himself.

Those were the moments that you understood how he become a leader...and why five women all decided to marry him, he was charming, funny, and still somehow attractive despite having not had a proper shower in probaldy years.

He had a way of always putting you at ease and making you laugh.

You didn't even care that your relationship with Negan made you distrusted in your community and turned you into a popular subject of gossip.

You glance out your window and see that a storm is rolling in, the wind is picking up, and lightning illuminates the sky from dark clouds on the horizon. You wonder if you should go bring Negan an extra blanket, and offer to cover his window to keep the rain out.

You start to turn away from the window to make your way to the lienin closet when something catches your eye.

A figure standing in the corner of the window

Why would anyone be out in this storm?

Then you realize that it isn't a figure outside, it's a reflection from inside.

Your blood runs ice cold, someone is in your house. You reach for your hip where your gun would usually be only to remember you'd taken it off to settle in for the night. You're on your own, without even a weapon.

Too frightened to even turn around you watch as the figure advances on you, and slowly you begin to recognize the dark blue prison jumpsuit and close cropped dark hair. Your intruder is Negan.

He must've escaped the cell and come here. But why? What was he going to do to you? What had he already done to other members of the community who were responsible for putting him in the cell?

Your fight or flight response kicks in and you choose flight. You make a run for the kitchen, and manage to grab a knife from the island as you back into the corner against the counter.

Negan approaches the kitchen door, he looks confused.

“don't come any closer!” you order, branching the knife.

“Okay, okay I won't.” he assures you calmly, raising his hands in an effort to show he means you no harm.

“Why are you here?”

“Gabriel left my cell unlocked. The door blew open in the storm, you were the first person I thought to come to. I'm sorry I scared you.”

“Why would you come here? Why wouldn't you run?”

“I wanted to see you, you're the only person who doesn't want to see me dead in this hell hole.” looking in his eyes you can see his words are genuine.

“You haven't hurt anyone?” you ask.

“No, and I don't plan to. Least of all you.” you drop your knife on the counter top, and he sighs in relief dropping his hands to his sides. “I understand if you have to lock me up again but I had to see you, just once without bars between us or a gun to my head.” it's your turn to sigh in relief.

“You scared the living shit out of me!” you scold him and smack his shoulder.

He laughs a little “Sorry, it wasn't my intention but in hindsight I can see where sneaking into your house and creeping up on you like fucking Michael Myers wasn't my best idea.”

“Yeah, no shit Sherlock. I could've shot you!” you pause for a moment. “What's your plan now?”

“I don't know, didn't really have time to think about it.”

“You better think fast. You don't have long before they realize that you got out.” he looks shocked.

“You mean you aren't going to lock me back up.”

You shake your head “What you did all those years ago was fucked up, but you've served your sentence, you don't deserve to be in that cell anymore.” before you even know what's happening Negan's arms are around you, holding you tight.

“Thank you.” his voice breaks, and you can tell he's almost crying he's so grateful. You hug him back, and you know you're making the right decision by the way he leans into your touch. So starved of touch and affection this simple embrace is the greatest thing in the world to him.

“I wouldn't hurt you, ever, you know that right?” he whispers into your hair, kissing the top of your head.

“I do now.” he pulls back from the embrace slightly to look down at you, raising his hand to brush the side of your face, he's staring at you with longing in his eyes. You realize what he wants, and realize that you want it too, raising up on your toes you press your lips to his softly. Letting out a gasp of surprised pleasure he returns the kiss in full. One of his hands tangling in your hair, using the other against your back to pull you closer.

The kiss heats up quickly, and within minutes his tongue is exploring your mouth and his hands are on your ass, lifting you onto the counter top and then sliding under your shirt. You wrap your legs around his waist as his hands brush the underside of your breasts, moaning into your mouth when he feels you aren't wearing a bra.

You feel him grow hard between your legs, and you reach the buttons on his prison uniform, unsnapping them all at once and running your hands down the t-shirt underneath it.

He breaks the kiss. “wait a second… Do You really want this? I mean really? Not because you feel sorry for me, I don't you want you to give me anything of yourself out of pity.”

“I want this, I want to be with you even if it's just once.”

He nods and his hands go to the hem of your shirt, pulling it over your head, you lean back on the countertop, while Negan takes in your body, his hands slowly sliding all over your bare torso, a sigh of pleasure slips between your lips when his fingers brush over your nipples. He suddenly pulls you off the countertop, plopping down in a bar stool with you between his legs, he pulls you to his body and his mouth finds your nipple, sucking the erect bud into his mouth. Moaning as his tongue swirls around it, you bite your lip to hold in your own moans as your hands grip his shoulders and grab at his hair.

“Goddamn you taste good.” he practically groans.

“Why don't we take this to the bedroom?”

“Fuck yeah!” you lead him to your bed, both of you stripping off your clothes as you go.

When you touch his chest you can feel every one of his ribs, you knew he didn't eat well, but you didn't realize he was this thin. You don't say anything, just lean back on the bed and let him pull off your panties.

His hands plant themselves firmly on the inside of your thighs and he spreads your legs staring at your body with pure lust in his eyes.

“You're so fucking beautiful, Y/N, inside and out.”

You grab him and roll you both over so you're on top without a word, you pull his boxers off, take his already hard cock in your hand. Pumping him slowly a few times. You're already more than wet enough, you grip him by the base and slide yourself down onto him. The he lets out a satisfied moan, as if he was experiencing this for the first time, his eyes fall closed as you start to ride him.

“Fuck! you feel good.”

Soft moans of pleasure falling from both your lips as you fuck yourself until you feel the coil of your orgasm building, his hips meeting yours every time.

“I can't hold off much longer.” he says through gritted teeth.

“I'm close too.” the coil snaps after a few more hard thrusts.

“Can I come inside you?” he asks breathlessly.

“Yes.” you moan, fucking yourself through your orgasm.

almost at the same time Negan lets out a deep moan and you feel him fill you up with hot spurts of come. Once he's finished you let his softening cock slip from your folds and flop down next to him.

“That was amazing,” he says, leaning over to press kisses up and down your neck “I never thought I'd feel a woman's touch again, let alone come in anything that isn't my own hand.” he kisses your lips softly “thank you, for not only this, but for your kindness.” you just nod and let him keep touching you.

“Damn your skins’ soft.” he touches you almost reverently, like you're the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

The way he looks at you tells you this is about to be goodbye.

“You need to go, don't you.”

He nods. “I don't want to leave you, but I can't go back to that cell.”

“I know.” you touch his face and smile and softly.

And then you look into his eyes, and you see something that you never thought you'd find in the apocalypse… love. You know then that you can't leave him.

“Okay, let's go.”

Tagging: @neganssavior-fanfiction @ariasnyder @negans-network

#negan #twd negan #negan's thrist squad #negan smut #negan x reader #the walking dead negan #negan fanfiction #negan requests #negan fic #negan fic requests #negan reader insert #the walking dead fanfiction #the walking dead #negan x you

231 notes · View notes

actuallylorelaigilmore · 5 years

Note

hi, sorry to bother you, i love your blog and your fics, i have read them more than once, my favorite one is the one in which elena calls schneider dad, i have fic prompt i don't know how you fell about this but my friend and i were talking about alex coming out as bi and we said that the first person, he would come out to would be scheneider, if you want to write it, it would be great but if you don't that's fine too, i hope you have a nice day and i can see more of your fics.

Hi anon!! you’re not bothering me AT ALL, this was the sweetest ask! I can’t say I ever planned to write a bi!Alex coming out fic, but as soon as you asked I really had a ton of fun with it.

Here’s where I’m coming from, personally, just fyi: I totally think that Alex would make sense coming out as bi, but I suspect the show loves having positive examples of straight-male-ally characters too much to ever take his character there, the same way that platonic Penelope and Schneider mean a lot to them on principle.

That being said, though, bisexual!Schneider is very important to me, so that’s in this fic too even though you didn’t ask for it. Hopefully you don’t mind :)

Alex & Schneider & Penelope, One Day At A Time. Also on AO3.

“Hey, Schneider?”

Schneider looked up from the model train he was laying out in his parlor, and over to where Alex was playing video games on the couch. He had come upstairs an hour ago complaining that Elena was hogging the TV at home.

“Yeah. What’s up?”

“I need some advice.”

Alex’s game was silent now, on pause. Schneider was pretty sure Lydia was his go-to for important discussions, followed by Alex’s friends and then maybe Elena, so he wasn’t sure what advice Alex would come to him for–but he knew it must be important.

Schneider got up off the floor and joined him on the couch. “I’m totally here for you, man,” he assured Alex, aiming for cool and landing somewhere in the realm of awkward stepdad.

“Thanks. The thing is…” Alex bit his lip, thinking it over before he continued. “I got asked out by somebody I really like.”

“That’s great! Is there a problem?”

“Kind of. You know how my mom is, she’s super strict about me and Elena dating. Even now that Elena’s been with Syd for like, forever, I practically had to give Mom an itemized list of every date thing I might do with Chloe before she would let me go.”

“Chloe was your first girlfriend, though,” Schneider pointed out. “And you were only fifteen.”

“I don’t think my mom is going to see sixteen as being all that different from fifteen.”

“So, are you looking for a way to get her to loosen up? Because I hate to let you down, dude, but your Mom is who she is. I don’t see that changing. And I definitely don’t think she’s going to take advice about her dating rules from me. She’s pretty comfortable being in charge of you solo at this point.”

“No, I know. I don’t need you to talk to my mom. I just need help figuring out how to tell her.”

“You told her about Chloe. I’m not seeing the hard part.”

Alex took a deep breath and let it out, slowly. “Okay. The thing is, I got asked to the movies by Spencer.”

“I thought Spencer was…oh.”

Alex watched Schneider catch up, trying to figure out what he was thinking from his expression. His face was usually pretty easy to read, but Alex couldn’t get more than mild surprise from it.

“Spencer’s your friend, right? The new kid?”

“Yeah. My friend, who’s not a girl.”

“Well, you have mentioned him a lot,” Schneider thought out loud.

“I really like him.”

“And he asked you out! So he likes you back. Way to go, man.” Schneider fist-bumped him with a grin, and Alex relaxed a little. He knew coming to Schneider was the right idea.

“Yeah. Yeah, he does. Which is awesome. But if I want to actually go out with him, I have to tell my mom. And then Elena and my Abuelita will know, and I’m not sure if I’m ready for that.”

“So–wait. Nobody knows?”

Alex shook his head. “My friends do. But nobody in the family, until now.”

Referring to Schneider as family was always guaranteed to distract him from the actual conversation, but he only got that goofy happy look in his eyes for a few seconds before he focused back in. “You know, your mom and Lydia are totally cool with Elena being gay.”

“I know they are. But gay isn’t bi. Abuelita would support me if I came out as gay…I’m not sure she knows what bisexuality is. And my mom, she’s great about Elena, but girls liking girls isn’t the same as guys with guys. People don’t treat it the same. Plus, just because I like Spencer doesn’t mean I’ll end up with a guy, but if I date a girl, that doesn’t mean I’m straight…it’s just so much more complicated.”

“Alex, your mom is good at complicated. I promise you. And I’ve never seen anyone love another person as much as your Abuelita loves you. But I get it–coming out is tricky. You’re the only one who knows if you’re ready.”

Schneider tapped his fingers against his knee. “Since you asked for my advice, I think you should be honest with your mom. Give her a chance. It’s the quickest way to a date with Spencer,” he added encouragingly.

“Yeah.” Alex sighed. “I knew you would say that.”

“That’s because it’s excellent advice,” Schneider joked. “Seriously, though, I’m honored that you felt like you could confide in me.”

“You were so cool about Elena,” Alex said. “You didn’t make it weird, and you treated her the same…and you didn’t tell my mom. You waited and let Elena do it.”

He heard the unspoken question and smiled. “Of course I did. Just like I will for you. I told you, I get it. Nobody should be able to choose for you. Your whole family is gonna be there for you, when it’s time, I’m telling you. But until then, you can come to me if you need to. If you have questions.”

“If I have questions about what?”

Schneider scoffed. “About guys, obviously. About being a bi guy.”

“No offense, Schneider, I know you’re ‘super woke’ and all, but I think that’s a little outside your area.”

“Think again, Alejandro.”

Alex rolled his eyes at the way Schneider liked to use–and slightly mispronounce–his full name. Then it hit him, mostly because of the unusually serious look on Schneider’s face.

“Wait. What? Are you saying that you…”

“Tried to start a band in college called The Bi Guys, of which I was the lead singer and the in-hindsight-objectively-terrible songwriter? Yes.”

“I don’t get it. Why didn’t you lead with that? Also–it’s been four years! Why didn’t I already know that?”

“An excellent question. Maybe you should spend a little less time focused on this,” Schneider said, pointing at Alex’s face, “and a little more focused on this.” He spread his hands to indicate the world around them, which just made it seem like he was trying to tell Alex to pay more attention to his enormous apartment.

“Don’t get me wrong, I really like women. I always have. Compared to that, I’ve only been into a few guys, my whole life. And my first relationship with another guy, I was at Pepperdine and it was before I got sober….I was kind of a dick. So, you know, I try to be more respectful now, more on-the-down-low. But it’s never been something I hide or anything. I guess it just doesn’t come up that much in regular conversation.”

“It’s never come up at all.”

“Maybe not. Then again, why would it? I don’t go around talking to you or your sister about my sex life.”

“Does my mom know?”

“She’s never asked me about it, but I think so. Yeah.”

“And she’s…cool?”

“The coolest. Alex, she may be old-school, not nearly as with it as I am–hey, stop laughing!”

Despite his protest, Schneider elbowed Alex lightly, taking the teasing in the easygoing way he usually did.

“Your mom always comes through. You’re lucky that way.”

“Yeah.” Alex smiled, a little bit sheepish. “She can be really a lot sometimes, but I am lucky.”

“She can be a lot? Have you seen your Insta feed?”

“Whatever, dude. Have you seen yours?”

Alex’s smile faded. “I do want to tell her. It sucks keeping it a secret. But when the whole family knows, it’s just going to be…”

“Intense. You don’t have to tell me that, I’ve seen them jump on your Homecoming pictures like sharks scenting blood. It’ll be a relief, though, too. Being honest usually is, even when it’s hard. So when it comes down to it…what are you really worried about?”

He frowned, hesitating long enough that Schneider thought he might not answer at all.

“Elena,” Alex admitted finally, and Schneider leaned back, surprised.

“Elena? She’s out and proud! Like, way, way out. No way is she going to have a problem with you being bi.”

“Oh, I know. She’s not going to have a problem with it. But I spent so much time, after she came out, telling her how straight I was–I don’t think I can take the I told you sos and the aggressively supportive vibe. I can already picture it: she’s going to sneak into my room during an away game and redecorate the whole thing in bi pride colors or something.’

“Bi pride colors kick ass, but go on.”

“I’m not like her. I don’t want my whole life to be about me liking guys, when I like girls too. I just want to be able to like Spencer. Without her turning it into a huge deal. She has no chill.”

“Chill is overrated, you know.” But Schneider nodded, thinking it over. “I can’t help you with the whole ‘my sister is too supportive’ thing. That’s kind of the best problem to have, when it comes to coming out. As for the ‘I told you so’s? Look at it this way. Why did you feel like you had to deny it so much? Was it because Elena kept asking?”

Alex thought about it, and shrugged. “Yeah, I guess. Maybe. She can be so pushy, you know? It just got on my nerves.”

“That’s the joy of siblings,” Schneider agreed. Alex was pretty sure he’d never heard him talk about any sisters or brothers before; he thought Schneider was an only child. He tucked that curiosity away for another time.

“So maybe,” Schneider continued, “Elena had her reasons.”

“Besides being her usual level of annoying?”

“Besides that.�� Schneider shook his head, amused. “She’s your big sister, Alex. And she’s gay. You might consider the possibility that she kept asking because she was expecting a different answer. And if she was, then you telling her now won’t be a surprise. It could even be…welcome.”

“Huh.”

“I didn’t have a big sister like Elena,” Schneider explained, “when I was figuring out who I was. There’s such a difference, being alone with it.”

He paused and let that sink in.

“And Elena never had an Elena either.”

Alex’s worry transformed into understanding. “She was hoping I was like her.”

“Maybe. It was rough for her, especially with your dad. I’m sure it occurred to her over the years that being different together would’ve been less lonely.”

“I never thought about it like that before,” Alex admitted. “I know it was hard, but she’s so loud and proud now…you really think it might make her feel better?”

“There’s only one way to know for sure.”

Alex nodded, his mouth firming into a resolved line. “Can I finish my game later?”

“Sure. I’ll hit save for you.”

“Thanks.”

“Do you want me to come with you?” Schneider asked as Alex got up, no longer looking weighed down by worry.

“It’s really more of a one-on-one conversation–no offense, but that would be weird. Thanks for everything, though, Schneider. I think I can handle it now.”

“Okay. Cool.” Schneider was already turning off the video game and settling in to watch a Netflix documentary about Austrian yodelers. “Just remember, I’m right upstairs if you need anything. Door’s always open.”

“Literally. I know.” Alex stopped in the doorway to grin back at him. “You know you’re awesome, right?”

“The awesomest,” Schneider agreed, smiling back.

“I’ll have to ask my mom,” Alex added, “but if she’s cool with it, you and Elena and me, we should go to Pride this summer.”

“I can show you my favorite booths!” Schneider almost bounced out of his seat, instantly excited. “Deal. And your mom will say yes, if I have to talk her into it myself. I bet I can get her to come with us.”

Alex narrowed his eyes. “I seriously doubt it. Between the crowds and the noise, there’s no way. If you weren’t in GA, I’d put money on that.”

“You have so little faith in me,” Schneider lamented. “You’ll see. I’ll buy her a flag to wave and everything. We’ll make it a family affair.”

“Abuelita will end up on a float!” Alex ducked his head, still laughing when he left.

Schneider missed the first three yodelers’ segments entirely, waiting for the text from Penelope he knew would arrive soon. He estimated ten minutes for the talk, ten minutes for her to get the sentimental crying out of her system, and five more for her to lay down the rules for Alex’s next date. A half hour, tops.

It only took fifteen minutes.

But she didn’t text.

Penelope let herself into his apartment without even knocking first, just opened the door and headed straight for Schneider–a petite, Cuban, him-seeking missile.

She was in his arms before Schneider had the chance to draw a breath, getting a tiny ‘oof’ out of him when she squeezed.

“I have the best kids,” Penelope half-sobbed into his chest, and he rested his cheek on top of her head, squeezing back.

“You really do,” he agreed. He listened to her sniffle for a moment, waiting while her breathing settled down.

“So, Pen…wanna go to Pride with us?”

#schneider and alex #schneider #alex alvarez #odaat #one day at a time #schneider fic #alex alvarez fic #odaat fanfic #odaat fic #my fic #bisexuality #replies #anons are love

97 notes · View notes

klaineanummel · 6 years

Text

eighteen going on extinct 11/20

Kurt Fabray just wants to relax after a tough week at school, but that is shown to be impossible when he realizes that his absent father has once again blown into town. Not wanting to spend more time around him than necessary, Kurt goes to his old babysitters house, the one place he feels safe when his father is in town. While there, he stumbles upon a secret he knows he was never meant to find out - one that could change the entire course of his life.

An AU very loosely based on Mamma Mia.

Hello everybody!!!! I'm so sorry that it's been so long since I posted. My wifi is super spotty right now, and will continue to be for at least the next two weeks. Because of that, I'm posting two chapters today (chapter 12 will come shortly after this one) and I might post one tomorrow, since I don't actually know when I'll be able to post again after that (potentially not until November 7 or 8, but I might be able to squeeze a chapter in in-between).

Warning that you're not going to be happy with Quinn in this chapter, but I hope you will try and be empathetic as well. Abusive relationships, even if the abuse is emotional and not physical, are difficult, and people in them don't always make the best decisions.

I hope you enjoy, and I'll see you in a bit with chapter 12!

Previous Chapter | Read on AO3

Monday morning dawns bright and early, and Kurt is surprised when he opens his bedroom door to find his mom sitting on the couch, a large bowl of cereal in her lap.

“Mom?” he asks, taking a cautious step toward her. “What are you still doing here? Shouldn’t you be at work?”

She shakes her head. “Called in,” she whispers. “I couldn’t… the thought of being there…”

“Hey,” Kurt says, hurrying to her side. “It’s okay. I get it. Last night was rough.”

Her eyes begin to water, and Kurt pulls her close to him, though he makes sure to keep his burnt hand (covered in an old strip-cloth bandage to keep the numerous burn dressings – which their next-door neighbor miraculously had – in place) elevated and away from her body.

“He was just drunk,” his mom says, though Kurt isn’t sure if she’s speaking to him or to herself. “He was just drunk.”

“Exactly, mom. He was drunk. After he specifically told you he wasn’t going to fall off the wagon again.”

“I provoked him.”

“No,” Kurt says, shaking his head. “No, stop right there.”

“It’s true, I did.”

“No, it’s not, and you know it. He’s the dick, not you. Remember what you told me last time he got drunk? That I didn’t put the beer in his hand or shove it down his throat?”

She shakes her head fondly and smiles up at him despite the tears in her eyes. “Why did I raise you to be so smart?”

“Rookie mistake?”

“That’s gotta be it,” she says, leaning back in close to him. “How’s your hand?”

Kurt doesn’t get to respond, though. The door opens slowly, and the sound of boots walking in rings through the apartment.

Puck peeks past the wall separating the living room and the kitchen, and Kurt feels his jaw tense.

“Um. Hey.”

“You,” Kurt hisses, but before he can say anything else, Quinn is out of his arms and running at Puck.

Kurt hopes more than anything that she will slap him across the face and force him right back out.

Of course, that isn’t what happens.

“You came back,” she says, throwing her arms around Puck’s middle and hugging him close.

“Of course I did,” Puck says, his own arms coming around Kurt’s mom. Kurt’s stomach turns at the mere sight. “I was… Fuck, Quinn, I was so stupid last night. I don’t know why I said that. I don’t even know why…” He shakes his head, then pulls Quinn away from him so they’re looking into each others’ eyes. “It’s the last time, okay? I’m never going to get like that again.”

“I’ll help you, okay? Just like last time. I’ll help you get better.”

“I’m so fucking sorry, Quinn,” Puck says, pulling her close once more.

Kurt can’t watch any longer. “Hello?” he calls out, standing up. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

Puck takes a deep breath, then brings Quinn to his side, keeping an arm firmly at her side. “Kurt,” he says. “I’m really sorry about last night. I was out of line, both before and after I got drunk.”

“That means nothing to me,” Kurt says. “Mom, are you fucking kidding me? You’re just going to forget everything he did? Just like that?”

“Kurt…” she pleads.

“No, it’s okay, I get it,” Puck says, and fuck this suddenly super-understanding guy. Kurt wants to rip his throat out. “He’s angry. It’s fair. I wasn’t nice to you, or to him. But I’m going to change.”

“Did you fuck a therapist or something last night?” Kurt bursts. “Mom, you’re not seriously buying this, are you?”

“Kurt, he’s being sincere,” she says, but Kurt doesn’t want to hear it.

“Yeah, just like he was being sincere when he was apologizing for fucking my second-grade teacher. Just like he was being sincere when he apologized for taking our rent money and skipping town two days later, fucking off for a year-and-a-half. Just like he was sincere when he apologized for only sending one child support check a year for the past eighteen fucking years. Mom. He’s always goddamn sincere when he apologizes, and then he does the same thing all over again.”

Puck’s jaw twitches, and Kurt points to it instantly.

“See? He’s so fucking sincere, but he’s dying to deck me right now.”

“Kurt!” Quinn shouts. “Your father is not dying to deck you.”

“Oh, so he’s my father again, huh?” Kurt scoffs. “You know, fuck this. I’m going to be late for school.”

He goes back to his room, ignoring their murmuring as he goes. They manage to leave him alone for as long as it takes for him to change, but as soon as he’s shoving his shit into his backpack, his mom is knocking on his door and peaking in.

“Kurt, can we talk about this?”

He turns around, shoving his backpack onto his bed forcefully. “It’s never going to stop, is it?” he asks. “You know I finally thought you were realizing what a piece of shit he is. How he pits us against each other, always tries to make it him versus me. I thought you were finally realizing how you always fucking choose him, and that maybe that isn’t okay. But turns out all it takes is a couple of ‘I’m sorry’s’ and soulful puppy dog eyes, and you’re back in his arms like you’re fucking sixteen again.”

“Kurt, you don’t understand,” Quinn says, shutting the door behind her with a silent click. “He made a mistake.”

“He made a thousand fucking mistakes,” he says, arms raising in the air. His eye catches on his bandaged hand and he waves it in front of her. “How about this, huh? How about the fact that he fucking lunged at me and I burnt my goddamn hand moving away from him?”

“That’s not how that went, Kurt,” she says, keeping her voice far too calm.

“Oh, right. So, I just fucking backed up against the burner for no reason, because I’m that stupid.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Well, whatever you are saying, I don’t want to hear it,” he says. “I’m tired of this shit.” He shakes his head. “I’m going to Finn and Rachel’s after school today.”

“Kurt --”

“No,” he says, turning around and zipping his backpack up, then slinging it over his shoulder. “I need some time away, from him, and from you.”

Her eyes fill with tears, and she reaches forward to him. “Kurt, please.”

“Stop, mom,” he says, dodging her attempt at contact. “Just stop. I get it now,” he shakes his head. “No matter what happens, no matter what you say… you’re always going to choose him.”

“Kurt,” she pleads, but Kurt is done.

He pushes past her out of his bedroom and out into the living room. Puck is still standing there, staring down at his nails like he can’t wait for this all to be over. Kurt scoffs. Yeah, he thinks, sincere apology, my ass.

“You,” he says, pointing an accusing finger at the man. “You better smarten the fuck up.”

“Look, Kurt, I told you I was –”

“No, you look,” he spits. “You somehow got the most amazing woman in the world to love you despite the fact that you are a literal piece of human garbage.” He can feel his mother’s eyes on him, but he refuses to look back at her. “You better start to treat her fucking right, or I will actually beat the shit out of you; even if the test proves that you are my father.”

Puck doesn’t say anything, seemingly stunned at the threat of violence. Kurt is a bit stunned himself. He’s never considered himself a violent person before, but right at this second, staring up into the eyes of the man who has ruined and continues to ruin his mother’s life, all he feels is the urge to punch.

He pushes past Puck before the man can regain his sense of speech, walking out of the apartment and letting the door close with an audible slam. He hurries down the hall and down the stairs, wanting to get out of there as soon as he can.

Somehow, he ends up at the bus stop earlier than he usually would and has to wait a good fifteen minutes before the bus rolls up. He jumps on, slumping into a seat near the back entrance, as per usual, and shoving his backpack beside him. He bounces his leg to the music in his earphones, anger flowing through him.

He’d texted Finn about the situation as soon as he got to the bus stop, but he hasn’t heard back from him yet. He guesses the man is preparing his lessons for the day, so he doesn’t mind; he just hopes he gets it in time to tell Kurt if it won’t work.

A couple of people glance at his hand as the bus fills, but Kurt just sneers at them. Whatever. He’s already been the topic of the school’s useless gossip mill for the past few weeks. Might as well give them something else to talk about.

The bus finally reaches Blaine’s stop and the boy gets on, flashing his bus pass with a small smile before heading right to where Kurt is sitting. Kurt pulls his earphones out of his ears, already feeling his spirits lift a little.

“Whoa,” Blaine says as soon as he sees Kurt. “What – Your hand!”

“Yeah,” Kurt nods, pulling his backpack onto his own seat. “I burnt it pretty bad.”

“On what?!” Blaine takes cups Kurt’s injured hand gently between his own, as though his touch alone will help to heal it.

“Stove,” Kurt says. “I’m going to have a wicked scar.”

“What in the world happened?” Blaine asks, hands closing softly over Kurt’s, cradling it in his warmth. Despite everything, Kurt can’t help but smile.

“I got into a fight with Puck while I was making supper,” he says. “He moved toward me aggressively and, like a moron, I backed away right into the lit burner.”

Blaine tuts, shaking his head. “You’re not a moron. I’d be scared, too, if an angry man was advancing on me,” he brings Kurt’s hand up to his lips and presses a kiss over the bandaged palm. “There,” he says, grinning. “All better.”

“Thank you,” Kurt says, missing the warmth of Blaine’s hands as soon as he takes them away. “It feels better.”

“Well, that’s what I’m here for,” Blaine replies with a wink. “Seriously, though, are you okay? Burn aside.”

Kurt shrugs, hugging his backpack closer to his chest. “I don’t know,” he admits. “I’m obviously pissed as hell at Puck, but I’m also kind of pissed at my mom.” He frowns as the words come out of his mouth, almost tasting wrong. “I hate that,” he says. “I hate being mad at my mom.”

Blaine puts a hand on his shoulder. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Kurt glances around the bus, shaking his head. “Not here,” he says.

“Oh, so we’re putting a stop to all the deep talks on the bus?” Blaine asks, voice lilting teasingly. “Because I was really excited to tell you more about my childhood on the bus ride home.”

“Guess you’ll just have to tell me at lunch instead,” Kurt winks.

Blaine chuckles. “Only after you tell me why you’re mad at your mom.”

Kurt presses his lips together for a moment, then nods. “Deal.”

By the time lunch time rolls around, Kurt is ready to pull his hair out. People have been staring at him and whispering all goddamn day. They keep staring at his bandaged hand and then turning to their friends and mumbling to each other.

He’s sick of it.

“I fucking burned it,” he snaps at a couple of freshmen, who instantly turn bright red and look away.

“Rough day, huh?” Blaine asks as he walks up to Kurt’s locker. If anything, his being there only seems to make people turn to each other and whisper harder.

“Would have been better if people didn’t keep whispering about me right in front of my goddamn face,” he says, loud enough for everybody doing exactly that to hear.

“Oh, yeah,” Blaine says, a fake smile appearing on his face. “Apparently you’re hot news again.”

“My stupid hand, right?”

“A little,” Blaine replies as they start to walk down the hall. “I’m part of it, too.”

“Really, now?”

“Yep,” Blaine’s smile widens. “Apparently you’ve officially hit rock bottom, going from the Incredible Scott Smith to little ol’ me. So far I’ve heard people whispering about how I’m not as hot as, or as smart as, or as athletic as, or as rich as, or as good in bed as their all-powerful overlord.” His face becomes even more manic, eyes expanding impossibly. “I don’t even want to know how they figure the last one.”

“Christ,” Kurt rolls his eyes. “So, I went from not being good enough for Sebastian to being too good for you? What the literal hell.”

“I know, right? How fun is this school?”

Kurt snorts. “Why do you think you’re my only friend?”

“Not for my looks, brains, athleticism, money, or sexual abilities, that’s for sure.”

They find an empty classroom and head inside, falling into two desks at the far side of the room.

“It’s so goddamn stupid,” Kurt says. “Like, why does anybody even care about me? Sebastian’s gone, they can leave me alone now.”

“Apparently not,” Blaine shakes his head. He opens his lunch bag, then stops and gives Kurt a look he doesn’t like at all. “Actually, before I forget, I need to tell you what people are saying about your hand.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Kurt rolls his eyes. “Fine, lay it on me.” Blaine looks apprehensive, so Kurt just says, “Blaine, I’d rather hear it from you then from one of the dipshits on the football team. Just tell me.”

“Yeah, so,” Blaine clears his throat. “The rumor going around is that your mom caught us in bed together and got so mad she broke your wrist.”

“What the fuck, that doesn’t even – the bandage doesn’t even reach my wrist how do they—” Kurt stops, closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, trying to calm the fury rushing through him.

“Thank you for telling me,” he says through gritted teeth. “I’m glad I heard it from you, because if I heard anybody else talking shit about my mom like that, I would have decked them.”

“Really?” Blaine asks, something crossing his eyes that makes Kurt instantly feel guilty.

Kurt sighs. “No,” he says honestly. “I’m not actually the violent type. I mean, I did tell Puck I’d beat the shit out of him if he didn’t start treating my mom better, but he evokes a special kind of anger inside me.”

“Right,” Blaine says. He doesn’t look fully convinced.

“Seriously, I talk a big game, but I can’t fight for shit. Sebastian was so upset when he found out his ‘bad boy rebellion boyfriend’ couldn’t even throw a punch.”

Blaine narrows his eyes at him for a moment, then asks, “Have you dated anybody other than Sebastian?”

Kurt freezes. “What?” he asks. “Why?”

“Sorry,” Blaine says, pulling his sandwich out of his bag. “That must have seemed random. I just… you never talk about any other ex-boyfriend’s. Just Sebastian.”

Kurt ponders the question for a moment, brain still trying to catch up with the shift in conversation. “I never actually thought about that,” he says. “I, uh. I guess I haven’t. Not really.”

“Not really?”

“Yeah, like, I’ve gone on dates, or whatever, but never anything serious until Sebastian.”

Blaine stares down at his sandwich, picking at the crust. “Did you love him?”

Kurt’s throat dries. He swallows thickly, and his heart starts to pound. “I thought I did,” he says.

Blaine nods, picking at his crust a little bit more. Then, he looks up, smile just a little bit too wide to be real. “Well, I guess I have my work cut out for me, huh? As your Rumor Boyfriend and all that. Everyone already says you must be constantly comparing me to Sebastian, and now I know you loved him…”

“I thought I loved him,” Kurt corrects quickly. He sucks on a cheek, deciding if he should say anything, then decides to fuck it all and says, “Those rumors are correct, though. I do compare you to Sebastian.”

Blaine’s entire face falls. “What?” he asks, voice cracking. “Are you serious?”

Kurt nods. “Yep,” he pops the ‘p’. “Like, for example, every time we have a conversation, even if it’s about you, you always end up asking me how I’m doing, or how I’m feeling. Then after those conversations, you follow up. You actually care about all the shit going on with my family. Sebastian never even asked to meet my mom.”

Blaine’s face brightens slowly as he seems to realize what Kurt is saying. “So, I’m the winner in these comparisons?”

Kurt scoffs. “Are you kidding? You’re like, the champion. Sebastian has nothing on you.”

“Even though you thought you loved Sebastian?”

“Thinking you love someone and genuinely liking someone are two totally different things,” Kurt says. “Blaine, you and I are friends. That’s not something I could ever say about me and Sebastian.”

Blaine raises an eyebrow. “And the hot thing?”

Kurt rolls his eyes, though he can’t stop the smile creeping up his lips. “Okay, you’re pushing it.”

“What about the sexual prowess thing?” Blaine wiggles his eyebrows. “Am I better in bed than Sebastian?”

Kurt raises an eyebrow. “Well, I wouldn’t know, but I’m guessing yes.”

Blaine smirks. “He was that bad in bed, huh?”

“Oh, no,” Kurt shakes his head. “Sebastian was awesome in bed.” He shrugs, going for nonchalant. “I just have a feeling that you’d be way better.”

Blaine stares at him with wide eyes and parted lips as he says it, and god, Kurt likes him so much. If it weren’t for Blaine’s stupid no-dating rule, he’d kiss him.

He glances down at Blaine’s lips, then up to Blaine’s eyes. He catches Blaine looking at his lips as well.

Fuck.

Should he kiss him?

Blaine leans in a little, and Kurt feels the pull, leaning forward as well.

Before their lips can touch, Blaine pulls away. “So, um, tell me about the issues with your mom,” he says, voice higher than usual.

Kurt pauses where he is, hand clenching into a fist where it sits atop the desk. He takes a deep breath, then sits back up, levelling Blaine a hard look. “What about my mom?” he asks, all too aware of the bright blush coloring Blaine’s cheeks.

“You said you were mad at her, too, not just Puck. Why?”

Kurt shrugs, trying to diffuse the awkwardness lingering around them. “Puck got really drunk last night, and when he came home he told mom she had to choose between him and me. She said she didn’t want to, but that she’d choose me if it came down to it, so Puck left. Then this morning he comes back, feeds her some sob story about how he’s going to change, how things will be different, whatever, nothing we haven’t heard a million times before,” he rolls his eyes. “And the moron fucking believes him. She just ran into his arms and basically told him none of it mattered and that she’d love him forever and ever no matter what.”

Blaine lets out a low whistle. “Wow,” he says, deadpan.

“Pretty much,” Kurt says. “So I told her I was going to stay at Finn and Rachel’s for a bit,” he says. “Well, if they’re okay with it. I haven’t heard back from Finn yet.”

“If you can’t stay there, I’m sure Burt would take you in,” Blaine says. “At least for a night or two.”

Kurt smiles thinly. “Thanks,” he says, though what he really wants to say is, “And do you think you could stop teasing me with the implications that you want more than just friendship with me if we were under the same roof at night?”

“Anyway,” he says, ridding his mind of the thought, “I’m just annoyed that my mom keeps falling for the same dumb shit over and over. And I’m annoyed that she drags me into it. She knows Puck and I don’t get along, that apartment is like a toxic waste site, but she refuses to do anything about it. She’ll never kick him out, even when he pulls bullshit like last night.” He shakes his head. “You know the worst part? For a minute there, I actually thought she’d changed.”

Blaine tilts his head a little. “How do you mean?”

“He was being an asshole when I burned my hand, and so she told him to either get me some ice, or to get out. He didn’t get me the ice, so she made him leave. She’s never done that before,” he looks down at his bandaged hand. “Didn’t matter, though. She still fucking took him back, like it was nothing.”

“Maybe it isn’t nothing,” Blaine says. When Kurt raises an eyebrow at him, he hesitantly continues. “I mean, I don’t know your mom, but from what you’ve told me this was clearly an important step forward. Maybe… I don’t know, maybe she’s realizing she’s been wrong all this time to keep him in your lives, but she’s still trying to cling to their relationship?”

Kurt sighs, slumping in the chair. “I really hope you’re right,” he says. “But even then, I don’t know if she’d ever actually get to the point of kicking him out of our lives,” he stares past Blaine, out the window. A few red leaves blow by. “I just hate how it’s come between us. I hate that she’s always putting her desire to be loved by him above the well-being of our family.”

Blaine nods pensively. “It isn’t fair to you,” he says.

“No,” Kurt agrees without hesitation. “It isn’t.”

He finally gets a text back from Finn by sixth period, informing him that he is always welcome in their home. He asks what happened, and Kurt texts back that he’ll explain later, and then apologizes for not being in contact more since they came to his house.

Finn, of course, tells him that it’s no problem. Because that’s just how Finn is.

He finds Blaine after last period so they can walk to the bus stop together, even though Kurt is going to have to cross the street and take the bus coming the opposite way to get to Finn and Rachel’s. Blaine pouts about how he’s missing out on more deep talks, and Kurt hates how cute it is.

He waits for the bus with Blaine, knowing the one on the opposite side of the road won’t come for at least ten minutes after the other bus leaves. Blaine tells him about his annoyance with his lab partner in Chemistry as they wait, then promises to text Kurt about how terrible the bus ride is without him.

He keeps that promise, and Kurt has to stop himself from grinning when every new text update from Blaine comes in. Blaine is always sassier in his texts than he is in person, and Kurt loves it.

They keep texting until Kurt arrives at Finn and Rachel’s house, when he begrudgingly tells Blaine that he’ll probably have to step away from his phone for at least an hour as he fills Rachel and Finn in on what’s been going on.

From: Bowtie Blaine

Fine, but I’ll miss you.

Kurt isn’t sure whether to grin or groan. Blaine and his mixed signals are going to drive him crazy one of these days.

From: Kurt

Careful now. I’m going to start thinking you like me.

Blaine’s answer comes in a flash, and it makes Kurt’s heart ache.

From: Bowtie Blaine

I think you know by now that I do.

He pockets his phone, arriving at Finn and Rachel’s house. Despite wanting to follow this rabbit hole, maybe even bring up the almost-kiss from lunch, Kurt knows he should be present for the conversation about to follow.

He rings the doorbell and Finn answers in a second, pulling him close and wrapping him in his arms. Kurt closes his eyes as Finn’s familiar scent envelops him, and wonders if this is what it feels like to be hugged by a father.

“Alright, you,” Finn says, putting his arm around Kurt and dragging him into the house. “Tell me everything that happened, okay?”

He sees Rachel peeking out from the dining room, a bottle of water in hand. “I think you mean us, Finn,” she says, glaring at her husband. “Tell us everything that happened.”

Kurt smiles as Finn sticks his tongue out at her, letting the man lead him into the dining room. There’s a plate of fruit on the table, as well as a bowl of chips and a couple of cans of Coke. Kurt’s stomach warms at the sight of it, as well as the thought of Finn and Rachel going to the trouble of preparing this for him.

“Seriously, Kurt,” Finn says as they sit down, Finn beside Kurt and Rachel opposite them. Finn’s hand comes up to Kurt’s shoulder and squeezes it softly; comfortingly. “Tell us what happened.”

Kurt just shakes his head and says, “Every-fucking-thing, guys. Every-fucking thing.”

Chapter Twelve

#klaineanummel fic #klaine fic #klaine au #klaine #fic: egoe #multi chapter

6 notes · View notes

scumbagsblog · 7 years

Note

Loving the text messages!! Keep up the good work! Also if you don't mind could you describe darks and antis personalities according to you?

Absolutely!!! Beware though, I’m about to wax poetic because I LOVE these two characters. I’m sorry that this post is so long but I’m NOT putting it under a cut because I worked on this for over a fucking hour instead of writing my history paper and I want at least one person to actually read it. :P

I’m gonna go a little in depth with what I believe is their canon personalities according to my interpretation and then how I incorporate those interpretations into Texts From Dark And Anti. Some of you may be surprised to find that I actually heavily take their canonical personalities into account when I make my edits; it’s not all just dick jokes and memes for the sake of notes. Texts From Dark And Anti is my love letter to these two characters, and I’ve gone to great lengths to portray them in the best way possible.

But enough babbling. Let’s start with Dark.

CANON PERSONALITY: Master Manipulator and Sexual Predator

Per Mark, Dark is a master manipulator. He’s a snake in the grass, ready to tell you anything and everything you need to hear in order to get what he wants from you.

I’d argue that this often works for him. Obviously he’s a very good actor if he’s able to mimic Mark perfectly in the “Chocolate” ending, so that makes me think that he’s able to assume whatever personality and/or extend whatever favors he needs to to trick his victims into abiding by him.

But it’s also worth mentioning that Dark’s biggest weakness (arguably) is his jealousy. As Mark said, Dark’s extremely jealous of Mark, and he wants everything that Mark has: wealth, fame, success, and devoted fans. I’d be willing to believe that that last thing is what rubs Dark wrong the most.

Evidence? Mark’s fans are exactly what he goes after. Wanna know what’s freakier? IT FUCKING WORKED.

Mark took all of his fans out on a date. All of us adored him for it. Dark got jealous of this, so he infiltrated the date and tried to get us to support him instead. And when Tyler Mark showed up to fight him, Dark didn’t kill him himself. He manipulated us into doing it for him.

And what brings this home is that Dark has had the longest lasting potential out of anything to come out of this video. All of the other memes and references have lost their luster by now, but the resurgence of Dark-related fan art, ask/rp blogs, edits, and memes are still going strong. Dark infiltrated our date and convinced us to love him and worship him the same way that we do Mark, and we fucking fell for it.

So why does he do this? Is it just because he’s a jealous prick? Partially, but I think that, canonically, there’s more to it. I think it’s because he thrives on his ability to hold power over people, which is comparable to–get ready for it–sexual predators.

Dark exhibits a lot of the traits we normally attribute to these criminals. He’s attractive, charismatic, extremely manipulative, and sadistic. He says things like, “I can give you anything,” and, “If it’s dinner you want, I can provide.” Provide is an interesting word choice here, because that’s what society has dictated the man in a relationship should do. He even acts seductive: arching his neck, eye-fucking the camera, and he even blows us a kiss (see below). But the way that he grabs and shakes us periodically throughout his mental breakdown betrays his inner sadism and anger issues, also common among sexual predators. I absolutely think that based on Dark’s behavior and what we know about him, he’s totally down to fuck anyone and everyone in order to get what he wants–consensual or otherwise. And I definitely think he’ll enjoy it.

I wouldn’t necessarily say that Dark is a nymphomaniac. As an otherworldly being, it’s entirely possible he doesn’t even have a sex drive. But sexual predators don’t usually rape their victims just to get their dicks wet. Usually, it’s a power issue; they want to feel like they have mastery over something, and that they are dominant and in control. Given Dark’s obsession with taking all of Mark’s glory away from him, coupled with his violent mood swings and sadism, I would say that sexual assault is probably just one of the many ways he appeases his insatiable appetite for power and manipulation. And I’d even bet that it’s one of his go-to’s.

In Texts From Dark And Anti, I normally portray Dark as a bitter old demon who doesn’t understand memes and doesn’t want to put up with anybody’s shit. But I didn’t just do this for fun; I did it because I could see Dark being jaded in real life. Off-camera, when he’s not trying to seduce us into adoring him over Mark, I could see him being sick of being overlooked. He’s old, even by Mark’s channel’s standards, and up until “A Date With Markiplier”, he wasn’t mainstream in the fandom at all–not fun for someone who craves the adoration of others. So he’d definitely be off-put by Anti’s much younger, more erratic personality, and in a bad mood he’d bitch at him for it. But in a good mood, he’d use it to his advantage to get whatever he wants–sex, souls, and anything else his blackened heart desires, both for the reward and the thrill of not having to do it himself.

Now let’s talk about Anti.

CANON PERSONALITY: Chaotic Psychopath

Jack has been near-silent on his personal interpretation of Anti (although he’s stated that he definitely has a personal canon that he refuses to share, the little fucker), so all of this is going to come from speculation and what we see onscreen.

While Dark chose to make his debut in one long, continuous, elegant appearance, Anti showed up randomly throughout the month of October, with no prelude and no explanation as to why he was there. Also in contrast to Dark’s smooth, charismatic personality, Anti is visibly unstable, jittery, and psychotic. Both he and Dark exhibit bloodlust, but Anti doesn’t hide it. He doesn’t hold back any of his sociopathic tendencies, going so far as to murder his host on camera for the world to see.

We don’t exactly know what Anti’s agenda is, but that’s just it: I don’t think he has one. At least, not one beyond the psychotic urge to kill as much and as many people as he can. Even in “Say Goodbye”, all he does is laugh at/condemn the viewer for not warning Jack and saving him. The other times he was on camera in October, he was glitchy, with several different appearances (fangs, gauges, blood, etc.) and contorted, unsettling body movements, making me think that Anti is a supernatural being that thrives on chaos and bloodshed.

But Anti doesn’t just want to cause havoc–he wants to cause havoc and get the credit he deserves for it. That’s why he showed up so much on camera without Jack noticing; he was there for us, not him. Then he made a big deal about us not telling Jack what was going on, condemning us for our failure to make his existence well-known. Then he crashed Jack’s panel at PAX, angry at us for “forgetting” him. He’s not trying to garner our support like Dark is; if anything, he wants us to be terrified of him.

But personally, if I had to choose between being locked in a room with Dark and being locked in a room with Anti, I’d choose Anti in a heartbeat. Because even though Anti is more obviously psychotic, at least I’d know I would be killed quickly–unlike Dark, who would torture and manipulate me verbally, physically, and possibly even sexually for an indeterminate amount of time. This is Anti’s downfall, I think; Dark disguises his true nature with seduction and charisma, but because Anti’s so unpredictable and surface-level, he identifies himself as a very obvious threat, ironically making him a little easier to understand.

Thus, my interpretation of him in Texts From Dark And Anti reflects this (albeit in a more comedic way). Anti loves memes and silly trends because he wants to stick out in a way that’ll gain recognition. He’s more up-to-date with Internet trends and slang because he’s much younger than Dark–but that also means that he’s more gullible, and a lot of simple things go over his head. Basically all of his emotions are double that of Dark’s, and he makes no efforts to disguise them. He’s also much more privvy to senseless murder than Dark. This speaks highly of his psychotic tendencies and general disregard for any order or secrets he could be bothering to keep. What you see of Anti is what you get: an easily-excitable, always-ready-to-fuck-shit-up killing machine.

So…yeah. That’s pretty much my piece. Told you it’d be long. X’D

But tysm for asking!! And if any of you bothered reading this far, PLEASE reblog or leave a reply with your thoughts on my interpretation of these two characters and how you characterize them personally. I’m super crazy interested in the lore around these two (or lack thereof), which is why I created Texts From Dark And Anti in the first place. ^_^

#markiplier #Jacksepticeye #Darkiplier #antisepticeye #danti #Septiplier #say goodbye #a date with markiplier #dark #Anti #theory #fan theory #interpretation #anon #ask #personal #long post #basically an essay #texts from dark and anti

1K notes · View notes

whimsically-ominously-auspice · 4 years

Text

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by snoopdogg (@snoopdogg) on Mar 23, 2020 at 7:39am PDT

instagram

There are people at war

There is fighting and there is killing.

There is some kidnapping.

So we just ask the rest of you to enjoy this time on Earth. We do not need war supplies or more commitment of time to fight from others.

You will not be drafted but paid to sit home and learn what love is to you. Adapt it and make that proper change in your heart based on facts on what the world really is and happens in it.

That is your part in WWIII. Love. And that is it.

We have to show the aliens who is boss. Not just me but all of you.

With the help of the Black Panthers and their guidelines to the military we were able to stop human trafficking world wide.

But it did not last due to the aliens attack.

1990-1992 we survived an epidemic. One unclassified but unclear as to who was really doing what. All Top Secret with valuable leaks to the public.

Unlike now when I share as much as I possibly can regarding missions. Only what i know - not what I can make up.

This time. We need every one to stop what they are doing. Stop congregating with aliens and making them feel welcome on this Eaerth. Our planet.

You need to listen to DNA4U and only allow those specified people related to you to be around you.

We must alienate the aliens for our World safety.

There is no other choice. We must designate and destroy their confidence in being here with us. We all must take a stand and say "you are not wanted here"

As i said Billy is designated as my father. I have no mother listed as. It is because I know who my momma is. Rhonda. I think of you often and how you shaped my career in motherhood. Like its alright to cry when you drop your kids off to school worried about what they may run into while alone. At the same time taking us to the mall to kill kidnappers and say "go get 'm girls!! I'll be right here" without a worrying thought in her head.

I am that kind of mom. But i dropped my daughter off at Girl Scouts. And not to kill.

So many mothers I've had the privilege to know and to claim only temporarily as my own.

This is not the same case with men. Unfortunately i am constantly under attack. With Alex and i seperate they can tell Alex this and that and he would tell me.

Their plan is to kill Alex then say to me he was lying. And tell me they are my actual lover. Thus allowing a non human enterprise to exist in my personal establishment of my home base -- bed.

And so i need all of you humans to bind together and stick with who DNA4U tells you to when you are at home.

As i explained to Alex so he could to explain to all of you because typing so much becomes tedious and exhausting...

You must understand the people you allow you can kill you.

You must determine their values and worth. Are they worth dying for.

As Jesus those whom killed me were not worth dying for nor forgiving. And they were aliens. Because I hide in plain site amongst all of you. And no one could forgive me for that. Nor protect me. They all chose not to.

It isn't about me now. Its about all of you And your loved ones in DNA4U of which you are allowed to breathe in the exhaled elements of their breath.

So you must allow DNA4U to be your guide. In order for us to save this magnificent and glorious planet.

There will be consequences if not. Not that i want to provide them. But it's impossible for them not to exist if the development of love does not occur.

If you need help. We do have a hotline, online contact source and others to allow you to assist you to get into a home with ONLY the people in your DNA4U contact list.

I have 75 non blood relations listed in my DNA4U.

This means the people listed as my blood plus 75 genetically unmatched but spirit is. They are your true friends.

I have 29 enemies. Alex is included on both lists.

So that means you must be the nigger to your enemies. Do not allow them into your home. But onto your porch IF you must meet with them. However that is not allowed due to Quarentine.

Why? Because we allowed aliens to watch at a distance of 9,875,201 miles from our outer atmosphere.

Why? Because they have the same problems as we do or are working to prevent it and also some will help stop alien invasions onto our planet for now.

So when Miami-Dad used a drone to see you party people out on the water. It meant aliens could see you, too. Which meant they could follow you home just by using a telescope and watching what you do and where you go.

I do not allow it but i don't allow a lot of things.

So when Miami-Dade chooses to arrest all of you party goers. There is nothing I can do as long as,it os legal and fair and you are not mis-treated.

Each local and state and county law enforcement received the truth and all the full information regarding the alien wars and the threat levels and,danger and commitment level of these aliens on Eaerth that are set to,destroy.

So they are allowed to set their own guidelines. I so have a maximum they are allowed. Miami-Dade from what i am seeing are following protocol to arrest people out in the open. But if you were at the beach, you do get a free bottle of aloe Vera banana boat lotion. The best i have found. Big 32 ouncer.

I don't want you to suffer from a sunburn while you are in jail for however long Miami-Dade chooses.

The maximum is 30 days. 15 for solitary confinement.

But then you must pay an apology fee which goes on your record.

Then you break the rules again and get caught, it's 45 days plus interrogation. Which is aggressive questioning which is over emotional humans giving you a what for. Screaming and yelling and crying and begging and pleading. The whole Snoop Dogg treatment. Some may do what Alex and i do which is the ice cold stare and slow discussions in a slow and cohesive manner. But you won't know why we caused you to suddenly care so much.

Now these rules apply world wide and there are a significant more amount.

Remember there are aliens on Earth intending to kill only good humans and only humans.

This is a very dangerous situation for all of us. Including me.

The tree estimates the Danger Level of people performing to CDC and DNA4U guidelines to be at less than 2%

My personal danger is at 104%

Alex is at 192%

If you are not following DNA4U guidelines then it is 92% danger level for the world wide.

If you are not following CDC guidelines ONLY you ate at a 32% danger risk level of catching the common cold.

If you are not following DNA4U and the CDC you put yourself into 800% of danger for aliens to be killed. For humans it's 132% risk of danger. To be kidnapped. Murdered. Molested. Raped. Killed. And unfortunately much more.

So,i hope you understand. Development of family. Love. Happiness is the most extreme of things in order to save the Earth.

If you feel angry and wanna yell. Contact an enemy on your DNA4U list.

While Alex is on 3 of my subjects. I am only listed as soulmate on his.

So i can call him and cuss him out. Beat him to the ground so hard no one has to dig a grave for him. As i just beat him in like a nail. He will cry. Climb himself up and make it to soulmate.

He does that. Not me. I'll kick his fucking ass if he even tried.

But just plain enemy. Yell about it. GET IN THEIR FACE AND TELL THEM WHY THEY PISS YOU OFF. KICK THEM. and only contact them via electronic devices. Not,face,to,face.

So, we have allowed a Rage Room experience but instead of inanimate objects. Its actually people. Tear them apart. They will ask you for advice so they can rebuild themselves.

Say "you are my rage room opponent. I must teach you to live a Better life. Don't like what i say? Burn in Hell cause ain't any one gonna help you like i can. Fuck off and die like a bitch. Because now I'm the bully so bend over for my big black Dick"

Unlike if you walked up to me like that. In the internet I could block you. Snoop could block you. Alexis Dejoria can block you.

But your enemy list can Not. You can mail dog shit or your shit to their house. You can piss in their lawn.

The thing is to remember what Alexis said to me last night.

Love thy enemy as thou love thyself.

But sometimes you gotta punch a bitch in the face and mail real dog shit to their door.

But quick hint. Shit dries up. So when they get it... Like boring. It is just dried up turds.

So be a little more creative.

I got Jesse James III an Anal butt plug for a gag. He was so excited. He loved it. He could do as much cocaine as he wanted and switch to heroin and never shit himself!!

I honestly thought he would put it on a shelf and point it out every now and again.

So beware. We don't always know what is gonna happen and we will be surprised.

I bought it because the bullet on the JJFU logo looks like one. That was all. Just a little teaser. But also I felt like a you're doing business. You should take care of yourself and others. Remember that.

Well he really did take care of himself plugging his shit hole up!

So y'all do have a lot of "work" to do. But it only benefits you And your family

If you help your enemy what happens? The world gets better.

That benefits all of us.

0 notes