#/ so infuriating. might as well just stop posting your work online because it's only you who cares abt it so just keep it priv \

[unboundpower]

there's nothing like spending hours drawing & coloring something, only to post it online & it gets zero attention :) very cool very neat /s

[thewritinggrindstone]

Identifying Harmful Repetition in Your Writing

Something I’ve encountered ad nauseam over the last few projects I’ve edited is a relentless repetition of words, phrases, and ideas. One of the most frustrating and confidence-destroying issues a reader can encounter is poorly executed repetition, which can stem from different problems, including:

Too much reliance on your natural stock phrases.

Limited vocabulary.

Not proofreading close enough or editing thoroughly enough.

Lack of confidence.

Not writing with the reader in mind.

I want to preface this with the fact that obviously certain types of repetition aren’t bad. Repetition is an incredibly powerful tool when used effectively, and what’s effective is subjective per book and per reader. That’s a massive topic for another time. This post is specifically about egregious uses of repetition, the types that any good editor or beta reader will point out as in need of fixing.

Stock Phrases and Words

Every person has their own unique lexicon, a repository of words and phrases they naturally will draw upon when they speak, write, and even think. There’s a reason clichés are prevalent, and that’s because the brain likes the path of least resistance. It’s easy to mentally grab those words and phrases that are constantly in arm’s reach, those words and phrases that are comfortable and familiar, but constantly doing this while writing and then not changing them can result in overuse that is noticeable on both stylistic and technical levels. It can also lead a reader to the understanding that you haven’t thought critically about what you’re writing, which can and will undermine their confidence in you.

If you’re writing a first draft, don’t worry about this too much. You probably just need to focus on putting words down, not exactly what those words are. Repetition is an issue that can and should be intentionally fixed during the revision process.

If this is a problem that bugs you even when you’re drafting, there are different ways of dealing with it. I tend to be highly aware of most repetition within my work, and because I constantly edit as I write, backtracking to add/move information as I go doesn’t tend to interrupt my workflow too much. If I know I’ve already used a word and can’t think of something better after several seconds’ thought, I’ll use the repetition and immediately flag it somehow—usually with a “repeat” comment—so I can deal with it once I’ve completed the draft. Opening a thesaurus or dictionary tends to be more disruptive during drafting than it’s worth, but sometimes it isn’t, and you will need to determine what works best for you according to your own style.

Once you’re ready to target the issue of repetition, you will need to work hard, think hard. Don’t settle for the easy word, the stock phrase, the cliché. Discard the timeworn, the tired, the used-before. Play with language—try to come up with new phrases, unique descriptions. Get silly, flip rocks over, dig around under them, push things as far as you need to create something different, then go back and edit again, refining what you’ve written until you’re satisfied.

It’s going to be a process. It’s going to be difficult. It won’t be natural at first; you’ll need to form new pathways in your brain, just like when you learn any new skill, and that’s uncomfortable, but if you persist, your writing will be fresh and alive and won’t be as prone to being bogged down by reader-infuriating repetition.

Limited Vocabulary

Tying into the idea of your personal lexicon is the size of it. No matter how much you pay attention to precisely what words or phrases you’re using, you won’t have much in the way of options if you don’t have at least a good-sized repertoire to draw from.

Increasing your lexicon is something that just takes dedication and time. You can’t rush it, you can’t force it, but you can be deliberate in growing it. Read broadly, maybe bookmark or sign up for your favorite dictionary’s word of the day, or keep a word cache of interesting words or phrases you like.* I have a document titled “word hoard” in Dropbox where I keep all unusual, unfamiliar, or beautiful words I encounter as well as their function(s) and definitions. Most of these words haven’t properly entered my own lexicon yet, but actively being aware of words that are anywhere from slightly to completely outside what you usually use will help you become a more mindful writer.

* I got this idea from Barbara Baig’s Spellbinding Sentences, which is one of my favorite books I’ve ever read on writing.

Lack of Proofreading/Editing

The identification and elimination of repetition hovers somewhere between content editing and technical editing. It’s an easy problem to skim over, especially when you’re the writer because you’re likely too familiar with every word you’ve put down, and issues like this tend to fade into the background. This is particularly true of writers who have reworded or reorganized a given piece of writing, since repetition can easily become lost in the jumble.

If possible, set your project aside for at least a few days—preferably a few weeks or even longer—then come back to it and read it with fresh eyes while intentionally noting and commenting on or highlighting all uses of repetition, big and small. If you aren’t sure if it’s something you repeated, flag it anyway—you can always check later.

If you don’t have time to set the project aside for a while, read your work aloud. If you can’t bear reading your work aloud or you aren’t able due to circumstances, listen to the document instead. Word has a read aloud function, and there are many online text-to-speech websites where you can paste a piece of writing. The unnatural cadence of the artificial voice might be weird and awkward at first, but listening won’t fully engage the “reading” portion of your brain, and you’ll likely find it easier to notice uses of repetition, among other problems. While writing this post, I have listened through it three times, tweaking phrasing and eliminating repetition—and deleting some of the harsher statements—as I go.

If you’re feeling really brave, have another person read your writing back at you. Nothing like being uncomfortably hyperaware of every word you’ve put down to recognize pretty much every single problem within your work. Just do not overcompensate and decide that nothing you’ve written has any value at all (it does), or that you’ll need to change everything (you don’t). If you approach this method with the understanding that it’s going to be awkward but are nevertheless determined to get something useful out of it, you’ll benefit, especially if your reading partner is willing to help you with any areas you feel you need assistance in.

When editing for repetition, if possible, pay attention not only to noun/verb/adjective usage. Go deeper. What types of repetition are you prone to using? Do you begin a significant portion of your sentences with conjunctions? Are there certain conjunctions you use more frequently than others? Do you reiterate entire sentences two or more times with only slight variations in wording? Do you return to the same idea numerous times? What about tone, do you use lots of rhetorical questions? Sarcasm? Self-deprecation? Self-boasting? Do you frequently return to the same imagery or settings or use of metaphor? Or grammar—are there certain punctuation marks or grammatical conventions you use more than others? Do you have a sentence construction you consistently fall back on?

Again, some of these questions might require an outside opinion for you to find suitable answers, but becoming self-aware of not just what you do but why you do will help you recognize these patterns, which in turn can help you mentally eliminate repetition before it even makes it past your fingertips.

Lack of Confidence

Widespread repetition of sentences and ideas is often a major symptom of a writer who isn’t confident in their abilities to communicate what they’re talking about. “If I just tell you this fact again, surely you’ll believe me this time. I’ll make you believe me. Do you believe me now? What about now? Now? Now?”

The painful truth is... no.

Encountering mindless or fear-based repetition is extremely frustrating for readers. Inevitably, without fail, every single time I edit a book by a writer who has repeated themselves over and over and over again, with every single repetition, I increasingly doubt both their credibility and their ability to pass on important knowledge to me. I feel either patronized and insulted, or I feel annoyed because it seems like the author threw their thoughts down on paper in whatever order they came out and then hit publish with

no regard for how those thoughts will be perceived by others, and

no regard for how they are wasting the reader’s time.

Please, please do not undermine your credibility by repeating yourself. Readers usually only need to read information one time for them to absorb it, maybe twice, so trust your readers. If the reader needs to come back to information, they have that ability. Do not force unnecessary repetition in their faces. Always assume readers are at least as smart as you. If you don’t need the information repeated, give your readers the same respect.

Increasing your writing confidence will once again take time and effort. You’ll need to determine why you’re not confident and then seek out methods of correcting the issue(s). In general, fear of not being heard or understood tends to be the underlying cause of repetition, so learn how to be deliberate in your writing. Say what you mean to say. Say exactly what you mean to say. Understand that you have something important to share with the world, so share it—then stop. Readers will appreciate you for not wasting their time.

 Writing for Yourself

Yesterday I finished editing a project just over 88,000 words. Nineteen chapters. Almost 250 pages.

I hated every word, and I learned nothing.

If it had been a line edit, I could’ve cut the book’s word count down below 50K merely by eliminating all of the repetition. This author is infatuated with the sound of their own voice, talked on and on and on merely to hear their own self-revelations and how special they are compared to everyone else stated again and again in near-identical sentences.

I’m editing another book right now that is less self-important and is far more interesting on the whole (and is thankfully over a hundred pages shorter), but again, the author has repeated themselves sometimes three or four or five times, with some phrases appearing over fifteen times, and I can feel my resentment growing. If an author isn’t going to take the time to put forth a thoughtfully crafted piece of writing, why should a reader likewise invest in it?

There is absolutely nothing wrong with writing for yourself. You should—you’ll learn a lot about yourself as both person and writer, and you’ll enjoy writing more, and you’ll (hopefully) be able to refine your skills.

But if—if—you intend to share your writing with the world, if you actually have something to say, you need to be aware that you have a duty to make yourself understood without wasting people’s time. Do not make people regret having picked up your writing by being so in love with the sound of your own voice that you are no longer courteous to others.

Love your writing. Love it fiercely and passionately and with reckless abandon, but reach a place where you know how your writing is going to be perceived at large. Use as many words as you need to get your point across and no more.

In Closing

If you’re still having difficulty identifying repetition within your own work, ask someone who is skilled at recognizing this issue to look over your writing. It’s always easier to recognize repetition when you haven’t written it, so fresh eyes can give you the insight you might not be able to see yourself.

Know your audience. A children’s book will require a different level of repetition than an instruction manual or a sci-fi novel or an autobiography. If you’re reading a recipe, you’d be annoyed and confused if the author told you to add the same ingredient twice due to shoddy proofreading. Write and repeat accordingly.

Whatever you’re writing, make a point of intentionally performing at least one round of editing with the intention of eliminating unnecessary repetition. Your readers will appreciate it more than you’ll ever know.

[slashingdisneypasta]

Horror / Six: The Musical AU (X Reader) || Headcanons

Explanation: So all the songs are being sun by different readers with different Henry’s (The Horror Villains of course) instead of one Henry. I think its pretty straight forward apart from that! I hope to make a second part to this where the readers actually meet up and complain about their times with their respective horror villains. This is fun XD Had the idea a couple months back and I posted it and one blog commented saying Six is their favourite musical, so this is basically for me and them haha XD 

Character Included: Michael Myers, Chucky / Charles Lee Ray (And Tiffany Valentine), Bubba Sawyer, Norman Bates, Mayor Buckman (And Harper Alexandre) and Jason Voorhees. 

Warnings: Murder of the readers (By respective Horror Villains and a non-explicit difficult birth in Bubba’s), birth / pregnancy, toxic / abusive relationships, sexual harrassment / maybe rape (All You Wanna Do- Buckmans), language, suggested mother / son grossness (Norman and Norma of course). 

I laugh in the face of those who would subdue my mad ideas. 

‘No Way’ (Reader as Catherine of Aragon): Michael Myers as Henry

My name's Catherine of Aragon Was married 24 years I'm a paragon of royalty, my loyalty is to the Vatican So if you try to dump me You won't try that again 

You were in a, of course, very unequal relationship with the shape of Haddonfield. He saw you one day, was completely taken by you, and decided to let you live. He would come by and use you however he liked, kill the people you loved when they got your attention over him, etc. Like any other Michael Myers x Reader.

And, years and years later (Because it’s not like Michael finds someone every day that he gives even a bit of a shit about like he does - did, - you) he comes upon a new person. Someone he, like he was you, is drawn to.

And he tries to drop you like a hot potato.

And this infuriates you. You are not about to let go! He has ruined your life! You have no friends, no family, no life, because of him! All you have, is (regrettably) him and you are going to be his for the rest of your life. That’s what he wanted, that’s what the bastard’s going to get.

(Many, many years with him has caused your courage against him to grow spectacularly. You can say nearly anything to him)

|- ‘You must agree that, baby, in all the time I been by your side

I've never lost control’

‘I've put up with your sh- like every single day’ -|

You give him one more chance- if he can tell you one thing that you have done to him to legitimately hurt him… then you’ll leave willingly.

…

But he has nothing. And he doesn’t care.

|- ‘You got me down on my knees

Please tell me what you think I've done wrong

Been humble, been loyal, I've tried to swallow my pride all along

If you can just explain a single thing

I've done to cause you pain, I'll go

No?’ -|

//

|- ‘You wanna replace me? Baby, there's

N-n-n-n-n-n-no way

You made me a wife, so I'll be queen 'til the end of my life’ -|

He ends up strangling you to death when you won’t shut up.

‘Don’t Lose Your Head’ (Reader as Anne Boleyn): Chucky / Charles Lee Ray as Henry (And Tiffany as Catherine of Aragon)

I'm that Boleyn girl and I'm up next See I broke England from the church Yeah, I'm that sexy Why did I lose my head? Well, my sleeves may be green but my lipstick's red 

Chucky and his filthy ass catches sight of you. Young, French and vivacious and he’s got heart eyes on the spot. He wants you, but he also doesn’t really want to lose Tiffany.

So... yeah, you end up living with them both for a while and its very awkward and a very hostile situation.

|- ‘Here we go

(You sent him kisses)

I didn't know I would move in with his misses

(What?)

Get a life

(You're living with his wife?)

Like, what was I meant to do?’ -|

You don’t like it. No one likes this. Chucky! Make up your mind!

|- ‘Three in the bed and the little one said

If you wanna be wed, make up your mind

Her or me, chum

Don't wanna be some

Girl in a threesome

Are you blind?’ -|

Tiffany is of course Catherine, and the fandom (The people of Britain for the sake of this AU) loves her (As we all know), so when you come along and insult her because Chucky is now your man (Supposedly.) and of course you two aren’t getting along with each other in the first place because of him … you get a bad name.

|- ‘Ooh, why hasn't it hit her?

He doesn't want to bang you

Somebody hang you

(Wow Anne, way to make the country hate you)

Mate, what was I meant to do?’ -|

When eventually Chucky is able to grow the balls to boot Tiffany out (My heart hurts writing this, trust me), he pulls a ‘Once a cheater, always a cheater’ kind of shit and has no loyalty to you or respect for the sanctity of your relationship, and starts having one night stands here, there and everywhere. He tries vaguely to tell you you’re being silly and that’s not true- but he has lipstick on his shirt collars and perfume smell all over him.

Its not a nice living condition.

So you, still very much being the vivacious bitch that he ‘fell in love with’, go and flirt with some other guys. Just to make him a teensy bit jealous! I mean, its not like he’ll really care, right? You just wanna spark the fire again!

|- ‘Henry's out every night on the town

Just sleeping around, like what the hell?

If that's how it's gonna be

Maybe I'll flirt with a guy or three

Just to make him jell’ -|

But he finds out as planned… and is p i s s e d. He threatens that if you do that again, he’ll fucking kill you.

You, not going to let him talk to you like that, flirt with one more man. Just to be disobedient. 

|- ‘Henry finds out and he goes mental

He screams and shouts

Like so judgemental

You damn that witch

Mate, just shut up

I wouldn't be such a b-

If you could get it up’ -|

And you find out that he very much meant it when he said he would kill you.

|- ‘And now he's going 'round like off with her head (No)

(No)

Yeah, I'm pretty sure he means it’ -|

‘Heart of Stone’ (Reader as Jane Seymour): Bubba Sawyer as Henry

Jane Seymour the only one he truly loved (Rude) When my son was newly born, I died But I'm not what I seem or am I? Stick around and you'll suddenly see more 

You were an intended victim of the Sawyers, but like with Stretch, Bubba crushes on you instead. The difference here, is that you see the gentleness to him compared to his brothers, and how scared he is when one of them yells at him, and all the other little signs that he’s not as vicious or evil as his first impressions might convey. You have a big, brave heart, and you realise right there that its death and cannibalisation or understanding and caring for this man and you choose to love.

|- ‘You came my way, and I knew a storm could come too.’-|

//

|- ‘You've got a good heart

But I know it changes

A restless tide, untameable’ -|

So you take his hands in yours, all shaky and meaty as they are, and promise him that you will never leave him. You’ll protect him. You’ll take any mess he and his family can throw at you- you’ll always be with him. Your promise.

|- ‘But I took your hand, promised I'd withstand

Any blaze you blew my way

'Cause something inside, it solidified

And I knew I'd always stay’ -|

And he believes you, of course. Its so nice to be looked at so softly, especially by someone as pretty as you.

I- ‘You can build me up, you can tear me down

You can try but I'm unbreakable

You can do your best, but I'll stand the test

You'll find that I'm unshakeable

When the fire's burnt

When the wind has blown

When the water's dried, you'll still find stone

My heart of stone’ -|

And you prove yourself. You prove over and over again that no matter what he, or the twins, or Drayton, or even Grandpa throws at you- you’ll survive and you’ll stay, and you’ll never stop looking at him in that lovely soft way.

|- ‘You say we're perfect

A perfect family’ -|

You get pregnant of course because everyone in the Sawyers / Hewitts family has a breeding kink and you can’t tell me otherwise, and the birth is of course very difficult because Drayton isn’t about to pay for hospital bills. So you’re in their home, in all the mess and the dirt and with no sort of aesthetic, and…

|- ‘Soon I'll have to go

I'll never see him grow’  -|

You don’t make it. Your babies born fine and healthy, and you bring another strong Sawyer boy to the family, but you’re gone.

‘Get Down’ (Reader as Anne of Cleves): Norman Bates as Henry

Ich bin Anne of Cleves Ja! When he saw my portrait, he was like Ja! But I didn't look as good as good as I did in my pic Funny how we all discuss that but never Henry's little- 

So, one day, Norman decides its time to properly settle down (Long after his mother… ah… ‘dies’) and get a partner, and because there isn’t really anyone around where he lives to date or, even, who wouldn’t get creeped out by him and his taxidermy, he turns to online dating.

He meets you there. You own and run your own hotel in the next state over, you don’t mind his taxidermy at all, and your profile picture looks… hauntingly familiar (If you look nothing like Vera Farmiga go by the original movie- she was but a skeleton there so she really could be anyone).

|- ‘Sittin' here all alone

On a throne

In a palace that I happen to own

I'm not fake 'cause I've got acres and acres

Paid for with my own riches’ -|

And you two get along great over messages! You online date for a good year before Norman proposes you elope and come to live with him! You think you’ve known him long enough, and you trust him!

So you fly right over, and he meets you at the airport, and…

He’s disappointed.

Like, ‘sorry, nah, you don’t look enough like mama so this isn’t gonna work’. In a more fidgety, quiet, subdued kind of way though. He’s so awkward with communication that he even suggests that you doctored your profile picture.

I- ‘You, you said that I tricked ya

'Cause I, I didn't look like my profile picture’ -|

And, understandably, you’re p i s s e d, and disgusted! But ya’ll already got married over the internet, so theirs no stopping that! This is your husband. You realise you’ve made a huge mistake and go right back to your home and your hotel to get divorce papers drawn up.  

You’re the queen of your own fucking castle, who needs him?

|- ‘I'm the queen of the castle

Get down, you dirty rascal

'Cause I'm the queen of the castle’ -|

You are understandably, very very mad. And you say some things to Norman about he and his mother, that… may be true… but that he certainly doesn’t appreciate.

When you finally get the papers, and you’ve been separated long enough for it to be legal, you go back to the Bates Motel to get Norman to sign them and stay over a night. You’ve calmed down enough that you’re able to have a pleasant conversation with him, and you decide that you’re too tired to take the plane back home right away so you take up Normans offer to stay in one of vacant rooms (*Cough* So you basically have the run of the place. Or they do. *Cough).

Norman is also pretty calm about the whole thing as well, like you! But… Norma, is still seething.

You don’t wake up the next morning.  

‘All You Wanna Do’ (Reader as Kathrine Howard): Mayor Buckman as Henry (And Harper as Thomas)

Prick up your ears, I'm the Catherine who lost her head (Beheaded) For my promiscuity outside of wed Lock up your husbands Lock up your sons K. Howard is here and the fun's begun 

Right, so, you haven’t had good luck in love throughout your life, so you decide to give up on boys entirely. 

|- ‘So I decided to have a break from boys

And you'll never guess who I met’ -|

… And meet a man, not much later. A man in power; A mayor. A man who’s been married before and has a beard (So you know; He’s a man. XD No little boy.). This is of course Buckman. He calls you love, and you get a job in Pleasant Valley that keeps you comfortably busy. You feel like, finally, you’re where you belong. You feel fulfilled- no committed relationships are necessary.

|- ‘Globally revered

Although you wouldn't know it from the look of that beard

Made me a lady in waiting

Hurled me and my family up in the world

Gave me duties in court and he swears it's true

That without me, he doesn't know what he'd do

He cares so much, he calls me love’ -|

But then Buckman tells you that he cares about you. You have a connection. He doesn’t feel just ‘friendly’ feelings towards you- he wants more. And, though you are a little disappointed that your solitude didn’t last, you decide that he’s decent enough (’He is rather kind to me, and he does makes me smile a fair bit’, you try to reason with yourself that this is a good idea) and so you start to go out. Its not long before you’re married.

|- ‘So we got married Woo…’

Woo…’ -|

But being married to him isn’t easy. Not at all. You’re not use to politics; There are so many rules now, and he’s always too busy to help. And the rest for Pleasant Valley are a bit… odd. And you just don’t fit in. And this is wear Harper (Thomas) comes in.

|- ‘With Henry, it isn't easy

His temper's short, and his mates are sleazy

Except for this one courtier

He's a really nice guy, just so sincere

The royal life isn't what I planned

But Thomas is there to lend a helping hand

So sweet, makes sure that I'm okay

And we hang out loads when the King's away’ -|

And he’s so lovely and caring towards you (Never more then when Buckman leaves for business in other towns), helping you through the transition from your old life to this one. He’s a good friend, to you. And that is most definitely all he is, on your side of it. A friend. You don’t feel attractions towards him at all apart from that, and he doesn’t try to make any moves. Its wonderful!

|- ‘This guy, finally

Is what I want, the friend I need

Just mates, no chemistry

I get him and he gets me’ -|

… Until one day when Buckman has been away for a month, he tells you he cares about you. You have a connection. He doesn’t feel just ‘friendly’ feelings towards you- he wants more.

|- ‘He says we have a connection

I thought this time was different

Why did I think he'd be different?

But it's never, ever different’ -|

Lets just say one things leads to another, despite you at first turning him away and saying no. He’s so insistent, and a little scary, and you’re lonely because your husbands’ has been away so long, and… something happens that you regret and feel gross about.

|- ‘Squeeze me, don't care if you don't please me

Bite my lip and pull my hair

As you tell me, I'm the fairest of the fair

Playtime's over.’ -|

You tell Buckman when he gets home, and you watch as every bit of warmth and love in his eye disappears, just like that.

Its not long after that that his jealousy and betrayed rage takes over… and… you die with a rope around your neck and your feet swaying above the ground.

|- ‘Playtime’s over’ -|

(Alternatively, Sheriff Hoyt as Henry and Thomas as Thomas)

‘I Don’t Need Your Love’ (Reader as Catherine Parr): Jason Voorhees as Henry (Your last love was Jason when he was alive)

Five down, I'm the final wife I saw him to the end of his life I'm the survivor Catherine Parr I bet you wanna know how I got this far I said I bet you wanna know how we got this far Do you wanna know how we got this far then? 

So, you’re like the leader of the ‘Slashers Ex Squad’ because you, unlike the others, survived your time with Jason. This is because Jason did, truly, love you (To an extent- not enough to let you go and live your life without him or be free). None of the others really did. Not like he did.

|- ‘Became the one who survived’ -|

Your story:

You and Jason had an adorable little 11-year-old puppy love relationship when he was alive. You were his only friend, and he had it bad for you because of it. Pamela loved you, too.

When he died you were of course devastated, and years later when you were 30 (Making him also thirty- not that you know that. You still think he’s dead at this point) you’re taken by the need to go back to Camp Crystal Lake and pay your respects to your childhood love / friend. Its just one of those nostalgic days.

When you go, and you set flowers down by the lake, Jason catches sight of you. He thinks about killing you… but then your features start to make sense to him. He recognises you, and for the first time since his mother was killed, he feels his heartbeat speed up and swell with hope.

Jason of course kidnaps you then, and keeps you hostage for himself. He missed you. He doesn’t want to survive anymore time without you. You’re all he has left!

… After you realise that this is Jason Voorhees, you quickly learn that this Jason is, of course, not the boy that you cared, and care, so deeply about. He’s done horrible things, and he is never going to stop; And frankly, deep inside… he scares you.

But its not like you can leave him! He would never let you, he’s made that clear. You are all he has, and now, he is all that you have.

|- ‘I don't have a choice

If Henry says "it's you", then it's you

No matter how I feel

It's what I have to do’ -|

So you write a letter to the old Jason (And your old life), saying goodbye, in admittance to the fact that you’ll never be able to get away from this new Jason. This is you letting go of your freedom and any preconceptions that anything will every be the same- with Jason, or otherwise.

|- ‘It's true I'll never be over you 'Cause I have built a future in my mind with you And now the hope is gone There's nothing left for me to do’

'Cause I have built a future in my mind with you

And now the hope is gone

There's nothing left for me to do’ -|

You never stop hating him for how he’s changed (How he’s taken your Jason away, and wont even attempt to go back) and how he’s stolen away your freedom.

|- ‘I'd say "Henry, yeah it's true

I'll never belong to you

'Cause I am not your toy, to enjoy till there's something new

As if I'm gonna give up my boy, my work, my dreams

To care for you"

"Ha, darling, get a clue”

But I can't say that

Not to the king’ -|

You eventually die of natural causes at, like, 60.

[strongsassysexysloane]

1st Day of Twelve - A Chocolate Surprise

A/N - I’m going to try and write 12 or more drabbles leading up to Christmas. Underline the word try. lol

It’s the first of December but that wasn’t even on your mind. It was the box of chocolates that had appeared on your desk over night. Your favourite, hard to come by box of chocolates. 

. . . .

“Nick you aren’t helping.”

“What? It could’ve been a mistake.”

“How?” You puzzled, flipping over the box of your favourite chocolates in your hands. There was no note, no clue, nothing. 

You heard Ellie huff but didn’t look up at your friends and colleagues. “Clearly these are meant for her.” She was at your desk now, slapping her hand down where the chocolates were found in between your computer and desk lamp. 

“Not even a sticky note.” You mumbled, you still hadn’t opened the box, you’d rattled it and there were definitely chocolates or little things in there that sounded like chocolates in a box. 

“Maybe they knew you could recognise their hand writing.” Nick yelped and you guessed Ellie had hit him in some way out of your purview. “That’s it, im going to see Kasie.” He stormed off and you looked up at Ellie’s grinning and gooey eyes. 

“It’s not her.”

“How do you know?”

“Because she doesn’t know I like these particular chocolates. If I was going on that evidence I would suspect you.” You squinting your eyes at her to make a point. 

She held up her hands. “I love you but I wouldn’t spend that much on chocolates even for a good friend.” 

You huffed and slumped back in your chair. This was infuriating and then it clicked. “Oh god.” 

“What?”

Just then the elevators doors dinged and in walked your favourite person. Jack Sloane, waltzed into the bullpen with a big beautiful smile on her face completely oblivious to the hell you were currently in. Her eyes found yours and her smile only got bigger. Oh how you wished it was from her but there was no snowballs chance in hell that it was. 

“Hey gang.” She stopped next to Ellie, looking between you both and then her eyes landed on the box of chocolates in front of you. “Oh someone has fancy taste.”

You and Ellie laughed. Even Jack Sloane didn’t have that good of a poker face. “Yeah, me.”

“She found them on her desk this morning. Someone has a secret admirer.” You could tell Ellie was sussing Jack out, staring at her for any sign or inclination. Nothing. 

“That’s sweet.” Her grin turned from morning coffee high to tender and sweet. 

“Yeah, sweet.” You leaned forward, resting your elbows on your desk and your face in your hands. 

Jack laughed. “Not sweet?”

“She's going nuts trying to figure out who they're from.”

“Ah. Someone is also tormenting you, having their own fun.” Which fit the sayer so perfectly in Ellie’s book.

“Sounds familiar.” To make her point even more subtle. 

Jack turned her eyes to Ellie with a raised brow. “Me?” She placed her hand in the middle of her chest. “That does sound like me.” She winked at you. 

“Don’t toy with me, Sloane.”

She threw her head back with laughter. Now Elle and you were both extra confused. She was playing you both so well. “How would I know you like these chocolates? For all I know you like the ones in the vending machine the most. You are always gooeing over them.”

“Once. I did that once.” You squinted at her from your rested position on your desk. “And it was 2200 after three long days of work.”

There was silence and your attention went back down to the chocolates. There was only one way someone other than Ellie knew of these being your favourite and that was from your online dating profile. This meant someone who knew where you worked had seen your dating profile and gone the extra effort to hand deliver them to the office because they didn’t come wrapped. Just in their original packaging. Maybe you should ask Dave. Dave the delivery guy might know something. 

“You’re not interrogating Dave.” Jack said and you questioned if you’d said your thoughts out loud. 

“How did you-?” Ellie’s head snapped between you both like a person watching a tennis match. 

“She reads minds remember.” You mumbled. 

This was going to be a long day. Well, at least you had your favourite chocolates. You shrugged and opened the box. It was filled with chocolates, thankfully, so you popped one in your mouth and melted back into your seat. 

The two woman in front of your all but laughed at your reaction. They left you to enjoy a very unhealthy breakfast but your mind was still racing. Was it Jack? If it was that means she had flicked onto your dating profile but didn’t swipe? It would’ve been weird if she swiped and didn’t say anything to your face though. Urgh, you hated your over thinking mind. You shut it up by popping another chocolate in your mouth. You would interrogate Dave later.    

. . . . 

Well, what do we think? I always love comments, gives me the motivation to post more. But I love likes to >.< 

Hope everyone is well and my inbox is always open if you want to chat or vent or whatever. Just remember we live in different parts of the world so it may take some time to reply. 

Also if you have ideas for a Christmas surprise that someone may drop off at reader’s desk. Let me know. 

[nightmarenoise]

Some thoughts on TMNT 2012

I finished watching the entirety of the TMNT 2012 series a while ago and boy, do I have some thoughts™. First of all though, the following is going to be my opinions and you’re free to disagree with them. If you feel like attacking me for expressing these opinions though, I’m just going to have to ask you to take a minute and consider that you are about to be a bitch online over an eight year old children’s animated show, and that maybe you should find something else to base your entire identity around. Secondly, I don’t hate the show, not by any means. It was fine. It was fine. It was fine, you guys. I wouldn’t have watched it otherwise. I watched usually about half a season per day because I have too much time on my hands but if I do more than 13 episodes, my puny brain will implode. That being said, I understand that the binge watching might have affected my judgement, because having to wait for a new episode to air each week hits different, I know. Still, I came home after work each day, cozied up in bed and watched 13 episodes of turtle shenanigans before going to sleep and my sleep schedule has never been better. But I digress. Also, I will compare 2012 to Rise, because that’s the only other TMNT show I’ve seen and because this is my post and I want to and it’s only initially.

I feel like the main difference between Rise and 2012 is that Rise is a character-driven show, while 2012 is ultimately plot-driven.

Why do things in Rise happen? Because a character wants something (the boys want to buy their dad a nw robe, April wants to spend a normal day with her new friend, etc, those are just from the top of my head). The motivations are ultimately mundane, and then the story goes from there.

Why do things in 2012 happen? Because the plot said so. Sure, the characters grow and change, but they’re ultimately vehicles for the plot. We don’t really take a minute to let the characters breathe. Usually, things happen because the Turtles saw something on patrol and they’re on patrol because they know the plot is waiting out there to get them.

The show starts with April’s dad being kidnapped by the Krang (/Kraang? It’s unclear) and April herself being spared this presumably gruesome fate because Donnie saved her at the last second. She then goes on to live with an aunt we never see.

We also don’t see much of how this affects April at first. Sure, she is shown to be sad and wanting to get her father back, but the episode ends on the Turtles leaving her at her aunt’s place and then we’re done for the day. Hell, the next time we see April, she just casually drops by their place to show Mikey how to make online friends.

Maybe that’s just me being overly criticial, but I could have done with more time between those moments, showing her coming to terms with things, her normal day-to-day live, or heck, even just going to the lair for the first time.

But we don’t get that because plot has to happen.

April isn’t the only character who suffers from that, but I feel like it affects her the most.

The writers seem to have learned their lesson, because when April loses her dad for the second time, to mutation this time around, she blames the Turtles (which isn’t wrong) and then doesn’t talk to them for a month while presumably going back to her aunt, who I suppose never asks any questions. She only goes back to talking to them when Casey tells her a similar story and she realizes something something, hurting someone without meaning to. Which is fine, but it’s also not really, because it implies April being rightfully upset isn’t valid, because the Turtles didn’t mean to mutate her dad and it was an accident, but it feels like it tone polices someone for experiencing a loss and not letting her take some time for herself to come to terms with that.

But y'know we need her, in part because she’s The Special, but most importantly, so one of the most tedious love subplots can happen.

I know they explained April’s specialness as her being a human/Krang mutant and the Krang needing her unique brain to mutate the entire planet because …reasons. Except for when they later attack New Yok and then don’t need her for that anymore. On that note, I do not understand Krang’s plan at all. Time passes faster in their dimension and they’re kind of at war with the Triceratons and have trouble with the Utrom, so they want to leave (even though the Triceratons are clearly also in our universe, so why not pick a different dimension to take over entirely? There’s established to be ten) and mutate a planet to take over. This is all well and good, except they’ve been at it for about seven million years? Krang takes credit for creating the first humans with mutagen and it’s been mentioned that they steered human evolution to the point where they could create a human/Krang hybrid, such as April. But why did they only have one? They lost track of her when her dad and her fled to New York City, wouldn’t it have been more convenient to have more mutants to do their vague mutant stuff they require by the plot to take over the planet?

Even if we assume that this first mutation means that the first humans didn’t surface between seven and five million years ago, humans haven’t evolved that much in the last couple thousand years. Why wait so long? It must have been billions of years for the Krang.

I know it’s a cartoon and stuff, but they could have easily removed that problem by cutting the line about Krang taking credit for human evolution and for the Krang having been with us for thousands of years. It just creates problems.

Speaking of problematic, the romantic subplots. So, Leo wants to bang his sister, Donnie is creepily obsessed with the first human girl he’s ever met and Mikey is such a good boy, he gets two love interests, because one isn’t enough for all the love and goodness contained in orange boy. I still think it’s weird because all of these love interests are humans, but I gradually got over that. I managed to think about this without physically convulsing for ten whole minutes, for starts.

Okay, so Donnie/April is just bad. The writing and the execution are bad. The characters are fine, I love Donnie, even though he focuses way too much of his time and attention on obsessing over April, but I can let that go on account of him being a teen dealing with his very first ever crush. April though  is frequently made to be a callous bitch who knows of his feelings and leads him on when she wants something, but pushes him away at all other times. I vividly remember the time New York was overrun by Krang and April helped Donnie bandage his injured arm and he was about to confess his feelings to her and she pulled too tight to get him to stop. Instead of being up front about it or just telling him that she either liked him or not or that now just wasn’t the time to focus on romance - all of which super valid in their own right. Rip the bandaid off, girl. None of them look especially good coming out of this.

It gets worse considering that after seasons of back and forth and even introducing Casey to give us a love triangle, everyone’s favorite thing in media and April redeeming herself by also being That Way to Casey and by redeeming I mean informing us that she just isn’t really fit for a relationship because she is very toxic in handling them, the whole thing is just kind of dropped forever. There’s no payoff. We spent so much time watching Donnie agonize over this, get worse, then get over his stalker-ish tendencies and get rewarded with a kiss and then nothing ever happens. They don’t even have a conversation about their feelings. The show tries to make it seem like there’s a special connection between April and Donnie because she kills him and then feels bad and brings him back, but, no. That’s not how any of that works. Ultimately this whole thing feels like a huge and infuriating waste of time. Fourth place. And that’s a kindness.

Leo and Karai get third place, mainly because of the incest. Neither of them is as toxic over this subplot and it also has the common decency of not taking up that much time, but it’s still weird. I don’t have much to say here. I guess it was dropped in the end, but maybe also not, but at least there weren’t 30 episodes about Leo agonizing over Karai while she was being weird and also she had her own thing going on and felt like a more fleshed out character than April despite getting less screen time. Third place.

Mikey gets silver because while he’s flirting with two human girls, they both seem to be exclusively into it and also he’s much more mature about dealing with it than his supposedly intelligent brother. Get this. Mikey, being mature at something. None of these ships are confirmed, but it’s a nice change of pace.

Raph takes gold because he fell in love with a girl after she beat the crap out of him and nothing is more valid than that.

Okay, the plot feels kind of rushed, in that they’re confessing undying love after kissing twice, but one, they’re teens and two, this is just the best we’re going to get out of this show.

Casey, well.

Casey exists. He doesn’t add all that much to the story. He has a delightful dynamic with Raph, coming in just after Slash confronted him with his worst traits and then reinforcing the “be a vigilante and do good”-angle and that’s nice. Outside of that though, he tries to hit on April, he hits things with his hockey sticks and I guess he has a family he cares about that we never see. Oops.

I’m very ambivalent about Splinter. I do get him and he’s a good sensei, but kind of a lousy father? Sure, his entire life went up in flames quite spectacularly, but as soon as he realizes his daughter is alive, he often seems to prioritize getting her back over the lives of the four sons he actually raised and spent the last fifteen years with? Also, he’s a dick to Mikey? He gets better later and then he dies. Hm.

Mikey wasn’t as annoying as I feared, going in. He was still stupid, but he had his moments. I also didn’t find him as funny as some of the writers probably hoped, but he was fine. He’s a good boy who deserved better every step of the way, but his brothers and Splinter are kind of not nice to him despite him being just as capable as his brothers. Neither is the show, often making him the butt of a joke or downplaying his achievements (producing super-retro mutagen, saving all his brothers from parasite wasps and the one time he saved the city from cannibal pizza it was treated like a “it was all a dream or was it” and nobody believed him). He doesn’t get a lot of development, but he’s the goodest boy.

Raph again surprised me. He arguably underwent the most development, dealing with his many demons and getting a grip on his temper. This was especially apparent in the Northampton arc when he did chores without complaint and helped Leo train.

Leo on the other hand, started as the leader of the team and ended the story as the de-facto leader of the family and also he was stronger now. I don’t know. Being a leader was his defining trait from start to finish and while he agonized over that, he wasn’t allowed much development outside of that. His first meeting with Karai introduced this subplot about him wanting to be irresponsible and do his own thing, but that was quickly dropped and never brought up again. I liked him best when he was being a dork over his favorite TV show or that time he went to space and on his first outing tried to hit on an alien lady. I would have liked to see more of that Leo, because that Leo was actually interesting.

Donnie, I don’t know. Most of his time was poured into the world’s worst romantic subplot and outside of that he had some traits, but he was mostly there so he could analyze things, develop antivenoms at the drop of a hat, finally create a retromutagen and build 152 vehicles. I like Donnie, but there isn’t much to talk about that isn’t directly tied to April. Except maybe how he promised to turn Timothy back into a human and then never did, even though we keep seeing his frozen remains in the back of the lab. For shame, Donnie. For shame.

To the show’s credit, a lot of the mutants looked horrifying and creepy. They had a tight grip on that horror vibe and it was great. They maintained a balance of comedy and horror and while it wasn’t great, it was a nice reprieve.

I hated Shredder and I know I was supposed to, but I will never get over what a petty bitch he was.

The thing that hit me the hardest was probably the destruction of Earth at the end of season 3. I was legitimately upset about that, so that’s probably a good thing. But when five minutes into the next episode Scrooge McDoctor Who did some timey whimey bullshit to reverse it, I was not any less upset. Make of that what you will. (No, I’ll explain, I felt cheated and it was cheap and annoying. Just when you think the show has some balls, it pulls a “sike” and then flips back to the status quo, usually). The space arc was simultaneously interesting and also not, with a lot of predictable plot threads, but at least we got more locations  than the same two nocturnal New York streets all the time.

The ending though was super weird. The other turtles then went into space and probably died or some shit, because they never show up again and also the Fugitoid’s head is alive in orbit, but whatever, no time for that because we have to go back, for the 50th time, to the Foot!

The plot has no time to unfold because the plot needs to happen.

Do you ever think the writers squabbled a lot? It kind of feels like a lot of them wanted to do their own thing and then someone else meddled with that and then we got a patchwork of unconnected threads, left loose and dangling.

I was surprised when we got some buildup to April’s growing dependence on her alien crystal and even one episode dealing with its powers before we got to the episode dealing with the crystal’s effects on her. That sort of nuanced pacing was new. I was also initially very sure that this subplot would only find its payoff in the season finale or half season finale, like most other plot threads usually did, but no, it got its own separate episode.

Yes, they went all Dark Phoenix, but the ending was super anticlimactic, because April killed Donnie and then someone reminded her of it and she felt bad, so she stopped being possessed by evil. They fucked up on the home stretch, but they tried.

I never liked the time travel episodes with Renet much, they felt weirdly intrusive and adding nothing new to the plot. It felt like the first one only happened so we could meet Tang Shen before she died and that didn’t add a whole lot of anything. It confirmed things we already knew and introduced Mikey’s love interest and that was that.

The show tried to do a thing about anti-mutant racism once, but it sure is a good thing that the only people racist against mutants were the mafia, so we don’t have to worry about making a nuanced take here. They could have done something really interesting, but then went for simple black-and-white-morality instead.

My favorite episode was when the boys played Dungeons and Dragons with a sparrow mutant.

The worst part of the show though was its fifth season. First it seemed like it would just continue from where the fourth season had left off with Shredder being revived - because like a good villain, or herpes, Shredder always comes back - by the worst looking dragon I have ever seen in my entire life, but then that arc surprisingly ended after four episodes, shocking me to my core. Almost as shocking as Donnie almost killing a guy, but then deciding not do at the very last second. Again, feels like they could have done more here, but then they didn’t.

The fifth season started with two arcs that seemed to tie up loose plot threads, like Shredder’s revival and the bug alien guy I could have sworn died when he was yeeted out of an airlock coming back to enact his grim revenge, all so Raph’s girlfriend could live on the same planet as him and then never appear on the show ever again. Also Mikey died and his brothers were sad for five seconds before going about their business and then he came back with superpowers and then he conveniently lost them at the end of the episode, because the plot doesn’t have time for things that are emotional or interesting. Then there was that time the writers were like “What if we made Yojimbo, but with anthropromorphic animals and also the turtles are there” and it existed and the Turtles added very few things to the story and then went back to their dimension and never talked about it ever again. Or the time they said “what if we made Mad Max and also everything was terrible” and so they did and Leo became a hulked up war criminal but everyone forgave him because he wasn’t himself but immediately snapped out of it after seeing his brothers and Raphael was on steroids and Donnie became a robot in what I assume was a reference to the comics where he died and became a robot and also Donnie ended up being the only one whose body died, but considering what became of his brothers, he was probably the best off? And Raph had amnesia just so he could say he had amnesia and it didn’t actually factor into the plot once because he immediately recognized Mikey. I don’t know, I hated that special.

But at least it gave me emotions. The best part of the “that time travel demon is back and trying to monster mash” arc was when I remembered that I could browse tumblr on my phone while it was on and then I didn’t bore myself to death and also didn’t miss anything of value.

The series finale was fine. Nothing to write home about, but perfectly fine, even though the show threw an awful lot of shade at the 1987 version.

I feel like the most jarring thing about the fifth season was that the show spent four seasons going out of its way to present itself as something with a cohesive narrative and a plot that goes on and on and then we get these disjointed stories, some of which have absolutely nothing to do with the story at all. Just the writers throwing some idea at a wall to see what sticks because they either didn’t have any ideas anymore, or too many, but the end result wasn’t great and I’ll recommend newcomers to stop after the fourth season, because for real.

Tiger Claw existed and he was infuriatingly capable and powerful and then his sister chopped off his arm and then he got a robot arm and that was it forever. I don’t know, some episodes felt more pointless than others, but some managed to be fun or interesting and some just added something they thought was fun and it ended up never mattering again. 

Some characters disappeared randomly, like the dove guy and I don’t care enough to ask what happened there.

Karai’s mutation being reversed off-screen was super bizarre. Sure, her being able to change at will as metal as heck, but it felt weird and incomplete and like I missed an episode. Maybe I did. It was also infuriating how her venom was a plot point in one episode and never brought up again after that.

Outside of that, I don’t have much insight to offer. Other people already exlained how the fight scenes, while nice, are not very accurate, especially the bo staff moves, or how the show is very dark, not in tone, but in actual absence of light and lots of greyscales or how most characters have singular traits rather than fleshed out personalities, especially the supporting cast. How there isn’t a lot of diversity in the human characters and how figure-hugging a lot of April’s and Karai’s clothing is (shoutout to April’s yellow shirt, it’s uncomfortable to look at, cheers) or how the female characters are frequently damselled.

I liked when the animation added personality to the characters because the writing sure didn’t think it had time for that.

All in all, it’s a mixed bag for me. It’s a fine show to watch if you have the time and it’s not all bad and I can see why people enjoy it, but it’s not for me. I liked some episodes enough to watch again, but I feel like in nine out of ten cases, I’ll opt to rewatch Rise instead because it has more of what I personally like, but I won’t think less of you if you enjoyed this version of the show. I’m not telling people that one version of the Turtles is superior to the other, just that I think it’s important to take off those rose-colored glasses and be critical of the things you consume every now and again.

But if you prefer plot-driven shows that can be surprisingly dark, you might enjoy this. Or you could watch Avatar, because it has that as well as three-dimensional characters and better worldbuilding.

Thank you for reading my way-too-long thoughts about an animated kid’s show.

[lunathewafflelord]

INTRO

Yay I meant to do this sooner but haven’t.

I’m Luna M., a teenage artist who plans on becoming a professional animator someday. I’ve been working on the same story since I was three years old, and I plan on making it an animated series someday. 

I like posting my art here, but I also post other stuff here. Things like funny things that happened to me, things I’d like to see in video games, and other stuff about my interests. I like making stuff that makes people happy, so there’s probably gonna be a lot of memes here.

Right now, my main fandoms are Pokémon, My Little Pony, Animal Crossing, and Avatar: The Last Airbender. There’s other fandoms I’m a part of, but they’re not my MAIN fandoms.

I try to avoid making political posts on my profile unless it’s absolutely necessary. I’m going to say here, though, that I 100% support Black Lives Matter, Stop Asian Hate, the Palestine Under Attack movement, and other similar things. I just don’t want to put these things on my profile as I want my profile to be a safe space for people who are upset by these things. I may reblog or share things if they relate directly to me or someone I know, but in general I try to keep politics off of my profile. Please respect my decision.

Known languages:

English (native)

Japanese (can understand, not necessarily speak)

French (knows a few phrases, can’t necessarily speak complete sentences)

Spanish (same as French)

Latin (expert on root words and good at recognizing the origins of words, can’t necessarily SPEAK Latin but I know a lot about it) Stuff you should know about me:

-I am autistic, and I tend to talk about the things I really like a lot. I might make ten posts a day about the same thing. You’ll get used to it at some point, I promise.

-I really like beagles. If I’m ever feeling down, send me a picture of a cute beagle. It almost always cheers me up.

-might be obvious by my username, but I call myself the waffle lord. I don’t remember the exact origin for it, but it’s been a bit of a running joke for a while.  -Lately I’ve been really into Pokémon Black and White. I’ll probably be reblogging lots of Pokémon Black and White stuff. I also made a Pokémon BW meme sideblog called @unovamemes. But it’s mostly N stuff.  -I talk in caps lock frequently. Not because I’m angry, but because it’s a way of expressing excitement, such as��“AAAAA I FINALLY BEAT THAT GAME I’VE BEEN STRUGGLING WITH FOR THREE YEARS”. Or, it’s a way to signify that I’m making a joke, like “HOW CAN YOU BE A COLRESS FAN IF YOU DON’T USE INTERNET EXPLORER” (an actual quote of mine).  -I really like talking about my original stories, mostly because I’ve worked so hard on them. One story I’ve been writing since I was 3 years old! If you ever need advice on writing, hit me up ‘cause I likely will be able to help you!

-I don’t swear, but I might reblog posts with swearing. If I do swear, that means something is up. I usually only swear when I’m REALLY mad about something, so don’t mess with me when I’m infuriated. It doesn’t end well.

OTHER SOCIALS:

DeviantArt (main)- M1m1kyu

DeviantArt (MMD)- MMD-Kyu

Scratch- M1mikyu

Bell Tree Forums- Alcremie

Twitter- Luna_Waffle

ToyHouse- LeWaffleLord

YouTube- Princess Tsuki (I plan on changing my user soon so this’ll be updated later)

RANDOM FACTS:

Despite growing up with Nintendo consoles, I never played a Mario game until I was 13 and even then it was Mario Kart. It wasn’t until I was 15 that I started seriously playing main series Mario games, in the form of Mario Maker and the various games available through Nintendo Switch Online.

I never played a main series Pokémon game until I was 12, yet somehow I became an expert within a year.

I love drawing fluffy hair. Lots of my characters have creative hairstyles because of how much I love drawing fancy hair. I also like exaggerating floof on animal characters

Right now N is my favorite Pokémon character. He helped me cope with severe PTSD and thinking about him makes me happy. If you like N, or Pokémon BW in general, please message me. I need more people to talk to about it...

I love making puns, it’s one of my specialties. (Insert pun here) I also make lots of “dad jokes” despite being a girl who isn’t anywhere near old enough to be a parent to anything other than a cat or dog.

Water is my favorite element! I frequently have dreams about having water powers. I grew up with ATLA so I really had a long time to think about this.

I cannot be trusted with whipped cream. I will fill bowls with whipped cream and eat it with a spoon. I love the texture.

I absolutely love croutons but because I’ve broken my braces with them twice I can’t have them anymore.  (no more braces though, yay!)

DNI:

-if you’re openly supportive of the usage of restraints on autistic or disabled children in general. This is a genuine trigger to me and I do NOT want to interact with people who think it’s okay to abuse children

-if you use “autism/autistic” as an adjective in a derogatory manner or as an insult

-if you’re openly racist, transphobic, ableist, etc. (can’t think of every single thing to list but you get the idea,,,) 

-yeah that’s it ig, just don’t interact if you think genuinely harmful things are okay and... stuff. just your typical DNIs.  I don’t want to exclude people, I just don’t want to be around people who are extremely toxic or hate people like me and my friends just for existing

[risottostitties]

Hi! First time here to ask haha! Any HCs for La squadra with an Otaku s/o? Like she watches anime and even buys merch in secret cuz she's scared they might find her hobby lame and immature? (Also,what will be their fave anime? And genre?)

Oh boy let me tell you I have some THOUGHTS about these boys and their taste in anime

La Squadra with an Otaku s/o

Risotto 

at first he’s gonna be kinda confused, not gonna lie. Growing up the only ‘anime’ he knew was like, Pokemon and Dragon Ball Z but at that point he was too old to really get into Pokemon, and he never considered DBZ anime because it aired next to cartoons and stuff.

But that doesn’t mean he won’t appreciate s/o and their good taste. He’s the kind of guy who wants to learn about what interests the people he loves, and he loves you. So he’d honestly enjoy late nights spent binge watching your favorites.

Comes to realize that DBZ was low key his gym goals for the early years of him working out. If you bought him a ‘Swole like Goku’ tank he’d probably wear it to lift in, ngl.

Knowing your favorites he’d probably look to merch for his go to birthday or Christmas gifts. Considering the hobbies and interests of some of his co-workers, a scantily clad waifu figure is honestly a welcome change of pace.

Depending on the style or aesthetic of the anime (ie, is it goth) he would be down to couples cosplay, although he wouldn’t be comfortable with you posting pictures of his face or any identifiable features of him online

His fave is probably the original Dragon Ball Run, followed very closely by DBZ for the nostalgia bit. Something deep like Full Metal Alchemist (Brotherhood and the original) would also appeal to him

Is also a big fan of Beserk, disappointed by the anime. And Vinland Saga, not disappointed by the anime.

Partial to Princess Mononoke as well. He likes some Ghibli films, isn’t afraid to admit it. Thinks the score for Spirited Away is bomb af.

Prosciutto

Prosciutto doesn’t really get it at first either. Honestly? He probably didn’t know the difference between cartoon and anime until you explained it to him.

Unlike Risotto he might be a bit more judgey if you try to get him to watch some with you. So you gotta hit him with the real classics. 

But similarly to Risotto, he at least makes an effort to try and indulge in the things you like. He might not be as patient, but he tries.

Probably wouldn’t do cosplay himself, but would hunt down exclusive seasonal merch to gift you. He’d take careful stock of your collections and do some research to pick out only the finest figurines and posters for you.

Would buy that hella expensive premium bandai apparel for you too, might even pick something subtle up for himself if he really liked the show it came from.

Also back on the cosplay note, if you agreed he’d find the highest quality cosplay possible and have you model some of his favorites for him.

(In particular if you were comfortable in fem clothing, Faye Valentine gets him going)

He loves Cowboy Beebop. 100%, wants to watch it again as soon as it ends. Everything from the characters to the story to the music and the fliud animation that has aged like fine wine appeals to him. Prosciutto is a man who likes the finer things in life. He oozes class. Cowboy Beebop oozes class and prestige.

Also likes Maasaki Yuasa. It was his idea to go see The Night Is Short, Walk on Girl in theaters.

In general his tastes tend to lean towards arthouse type anime or bona fide classics.

Pesci

Pesci knows anime and has been doing his absolute best to keep it a secret from the rest of the gang because they already tease him enough.

He’s one of those secret weebs, you gotta know where to look. Your best bet is to look at his accessories. Is there a watch with a certain symbol from an anime you recognize? A lanyard with a familiar print? Something subtle that isn’t immediately noticed by people not looking for it.

He has a secret box in his room full of blue rays from his faves. He watches them sometimes when he’s home alone. There’s nothing X rated in there obviously, he just doesn’t want people to know.

Thank god he has you.

The two of you probably bonded pretty fast over your mutual love of anime. Hell, you being such an open and proud Otaku probably gave him a bit of confidence in expressing his interests too.

Yall are the weeb couple. Yall definitely go to conventions together. Couples Cosplays, the whole thing.

He’s a sucker for Shonen just as much as he is for the really good heart wrenching painful ones. 

He watches Boruto because he loves Naruto so much.

He would also tear up at Clannad.

Dango Daikazoku triggers almost a pavlovian response of heart ache.

So does Secret Base.

Ano Hana is probably his favorite, although even you’d need to pry it out of him. Its one thing that Prosciutto gives him shit for liking anime, its a whole different ball game if he found out Pesci liked girly anime

Fromaggio

He knows what hentai is. That’s about as far as his knowledge went before yall got together.

He thinks its pretty interesting though, so he’d be down to watch some with you.

Turns out he really likes action shonen. He got really, really into One Piece. Like, instantly. He likes the fact there’s so much to watch/read before he’s caught up too.

Another boy that would couples cosplay and be really into it. Especially if it continued into the bedroom.

He’s pretty go with the flow, so he isn’t picky about what y’all watch. Even if it isn’t his cup of tea he’ll sit through a few episodes on a night with you.

Fromaggio can’t tell the difference between a high quality figure and a shitty one. Its a crap shoot what he buys for you. Its more a process of ‘oh, so likes this character’ rather than checking the seams and paint quality and how dynamic the pose is/interchangeable parts. 

Definitely buys way too much in the dealers room because of this.

He tries his best.

His fave is probably One Piece, liked bleach a lot but never read the manga, Yu Yu Hakusho is another one he really enjoyed. The Dark Tournament arc had him at the edge of his seat and hype as shit.

Illuso

Had a passing knowledge of anime before dating you. Knew what it was, saw a few of the mainstream ones, thought they were enjoyable, moved on with his life.

Your dedicated interest in anime would surprise him at first, because he always figured it was kind of a niche thing.

Would snoop around your collection of manga/figures/plushes in the mirror world while you sleep.

Winds up reading a lot of your manga like that (he’s good at reading in reverse because of his stand)

He finds he appreciates the art style of 80s-90s manga a lot more than he does the modern stuff. He really got into Ranma 1/2 and thinks Rumiko Takahashi’s artstyle is excellent.

If you asked him to watch Inuyasha with you he wouldn’t say no.

Probably wouldn’t want to do couples cosplay, but he definitely has an appreciation for you in cosplay.

You could talk him into going to a con if you caught him in the right mood. It’d be a hard sell though.

Has a surprising enjoyment for J-Rock. 

Inuyasha is high on his favorites list, as is Ranma 1/2. Also a fan of Ghibli movies although its pulling teeth to get him to admit it.

Melone

This man has watched so much hentai in his life.

He probably actually knows them by title honestly.

He enjoys anime too, and is not ashamed unlike Pesci. Everyone already knows he has unconventional tastes there is nothing to hide here.

Melone enjoys traditionally feminine anime, especially Sailor Moon. That one has a special place in his heart as he has memories of his sister watching it with him when he was much younger.

Its more of a decompress thing than anything else, so he doesn't tend to favor heavy anime with dense plot and more mature subject matter.

He likes Maid Costumes. On you, on him, it doesn’t matter.

Doesn’t know a whole lot about merch and what makes something higher quality but he learns fast. Between you and him the Dealers Room at cons won’t know what hit them.

Is the type to preorder a figure he knows you’d like. And maybe one for him.

Buy him this and he’s putty in your hands for a month straight (SFW don’t worry) https://www.amazon.com/Bandai-Sailor-Moonlight-Memory-Locket/dp/B00UA9XB48

Sailor Moon is his favorite as I’ve said before, his favorite sailor scout is Rei. Is also a fan of Ano Hana, Violet Evergarden, and Toradora although he needs to be in the right mood to watch them.

Ghiaccio

He went down the Fate rabbit hole and we haven’t seen him since.

The gender bending grates as his soul but he is addicted regardless. There’s just so much dense lore that he can’t seem to stop going.

But also seeing how much care and attention is paid to the historical background of a lot of the servants is intriguing to him. Its the perfect blend of accurate and harem trash that infuriates him but also leaves him needing to know more.

He hasn’t played every game but he has Grand Order on his phone and has sunk an ungodly amount of money into the gacha trying to get his favorite (Its Jeanne Alter, in case anyone was wondering) and has seen all the anime (His favorite is the cooking spin off because its surprisingly calming to watch)

Fate Zero is probably his favorite ‘serious’ Fate adaptation. He enjoys the gravitas of the Holy Grail Wars (and hates how it was tossed out the fucking window in UBW/Stay Night/Heavens Feel) and the ritual aspect to the summoning and foreshadowing of future events as well as hints at a deeper magical lore in the universe hit all the right spots in his lizard brain.

The fact every fate anime has a different version of Saber (or a Saber Clone) pisses him off too.

He really loves Fate. And will scream about it for hours at you.

Getting him to watch or talk about anything else is like pulling teeth but he eventually relents because he loves you.

Its difficult to get through a single episode without him grumbling about something or another, but he tries once he sees its important to you. He does his best not to outright insult your favorite anime.

Can appreciate high quality merch as well, probably collects Jalter Figures himself.

If you’re comfortable in fem clothing, Cosplay Jalter for him and he will literally ascend then and there. Keeps pics on his phone. Would probably make it his background. He’s weak

Outside of Fate he finds he enjoys high fantasy shows. Historical fantasy pisses him off too much, and straight up historical drama would also have him grasping for inaccuracies.

Full Metal Alchemist is a non-fate series that he really loves because of the world building. The movie Maquia was one he enjoyed as well. Likes every Miyazaki film, don’t tell anyone. Cried (and raged) when Ushio died in Clannad.

In general he just likes really good world building. It has to be good otherwise he’s going to spend the whole time picking it apart.

[wegotjiminsjams]

A Christmas Miracle

Oneshot

Yoongi X Reader

Word Count: 4850

Genre: fluff, enemies to lovers, Slow burn (kind of)

A/N: I wanted to post this last christmas but it wasn’t complete so I’m just posting it now. Lol. XD 

The city indeed looked breathtaking, covered in snow and beautiful lights decorating the streets. People walking around were dressed warmly along with their Santa hats. Naturally, as it was the day before Christmas, everyone around seemed to be in a holiday mood with happy smiles and warm gestures but alas, you couldn’t join in with the festive spirit because you had work. Work on Christmas Eve! Talk about bad luck. You sigh and look away from the window, enough with the longing stares, the sooner you finish your work, the sooner you can leave. Your flight back home was at 5 pm, another four hours left. At Least you’ll get to spend Christmas day with your family.

You look around your office and there’s absolutely no one there except for the security. It’s only fair since it is Christmas and everyone is spending time with their families, everyone except you. But to be completely honest this was all on you, you were always a perfectionist. 

This month you had taken on an extremely important project, while everything was done smoothly, the clients were very impressed and you had managed to gain a great profit for the company, however you hadn’t backed up the reports and accidentally dropped the pen drive with the only copy of the reports in coffee. They were lost for good. Your boss Hoseok had told you not to worry about it, that it wasn’t a big deal. They were the extra reports which could be filed in later on. He had urged you to take an early Christmas break and get back to it later. But you wouldn’t be you, if you weren’t a perfectionist. You insisted that it wouldn’t take much time and you would finish it before the vacation. 

Now thinking back on it, you curse yourself and wish you had just taken the Goddamn opportunity when you had it. Sighing once again you get back to your work, trying to finish it as soon as possible, when someone behind you clears their throat. Your heart nearly jumps out, as you turn to see who it is. As far as you knew the office was completely empty except for the security at the front and you hadn’t heard anyone enter either so naturally you were shocked to see the one person you absolutely did not want to.

“Did I scare you sweetheart?” spoke the annoying voice of Min Yoongi. He had his signature smirk on his face that told you, it was his exact intention to scare you. 

Hearing that annoying nickname immediately put a scowl on your face, “What are you doing here Min?” you asked. 

Min Yoongi was a colleague, a rather annoying one you might add and your partner in the very project you were working on right now. He was partially to blame for you to be working like this last minute. You see, Yoongi and you had this ongoing rivalry and always tried to best each other. You both always found ways to undermine the other. So even though your boss was lenient and allowed you to finish the reports after the holidays, you did not want Min Yoongi to be able to use this against you in the future, saying things like “we didn’t make a larger profit because of the late report filing” or “If I was in charge this wouldn’t have happened.” 

Logically speaking these reports really did not matter much, but you wouldn’t put it past Min Yoongi to use even the tiniest thing against you. The man was infuriating. And this was only one thing among the many other things that he did just to annoy you. If it wasn’t his constant showing off at how good and competent he is, then it was his constant jokes and attempts to flirt with you, just to get you all worked up and embarrassed because he loved getting you riled up. You were convinced that his only goal in life was to make you miserable. To add on to your misfortune, everyone else in the office absolutely loved the pest. Especially all the ladies, who ogle at him like hormone raged school girls, as if Min Yoongi needs anymore of an ego boost. 

Fine, maybe the man was good at his job and kind of handsome, you’ll reluctantly agree to that. But with that personality and such a big ego how could anyone stand him was just beyond you. 

“If you remember correctly, we were both in charge of this project sweetheart” he replies to your question, “So I’m just here to do my part, I don’t want anyone taking credit for the whole project later on you see.” 

Again with the stupid nickname. Already getting riled up with his mere presence you huff and respond to him, “First of all asshole, stop calling me sweetheart and second, it was my mistake that the reports weren’t submitted so I will take care of it. No one is discrediting anyone here so you can go back and annoy your family instead of me.” 

He gave you an amused look, “If you think I’m just going to abandon you and let you take the complete load, you’ve mistaken y/n.” he says seriously. “We both worked on this project and came up with the report. Now who’s ever mistake it was, it’s still unfair that only you have to do it all over again.” 

For a moment you are completely dumbfounded. Is Min Yoongi really being a decent human being right now? You are completely baffled by his behaviour and just stare at him astonished. 

When you don’t reply he just shrugs, “Besides, with me here you’ll be done in no time, cause I’m really excellent at anything I do.” he says, voice oozing with smugness. 

Aaha! There he is, the extremely cocky, big headed Min Yoongi that you know. Never leaves an opportunity to show off. 

Scoffing, you instruct him “Fine you can start with the marketing strategy, I haven’t gotten to that part yet.” And turn away from him to focus on your work. 

The two of you work in peaceful silence for a while. Well as peaceful as it can get with Min Yoongi around, constantly tapping his foot and clicking his pen. The only other sounds coming from pages turning and the typing sounds of your computers until Yoongi breaks the silence to ask you a question. 

“Hey, how come you didn’t go to visit your family for Christmas? Don’t you go every year?” 

You’re a little perplexed that he knew you went every year. Does Min Yoongi really pay attention to people besides himself? 

“Well, I am going, my flight is in three and a half hours, I just delayed my trip a little to complete the work” you say nonchalantly. 

“Really Y/n???” he asks shocked, “You really gave up spending time with your family for work? What is wrong with you! Actually wait, no, you wouldn’t be y/n if not a stubborn perfectionist.” he says with a sly smile 

“Oh shut up!” you huff, “Stop acting like you know me.” 

“Oh but I do sweetheart.” There’s that smug smile on his face again.

Seeing no point in arguing with him further, you just give him the classic eye roll. Something that you find yourself doing often only when he is around. 

“Well, we already know that I’m a workaholic loser, but what about you? Why didn’t you go home for Christmas?” you ask him. 

His cheeks get a slight red tinge at your question. “Aah, I actually had a prior commitment, so I too, delayed my trip.” he says this in a way of trying to sound nonchalant. 

“Prior commitment, On Christmas?” you ask confused. “What is it? Or should I ask who is it?” you tease laughingly. 

His eyes widen and his cheeks are coloured with a blush once again. This is the second time Yoongi has gone all shy today and it’s because of this “prior commitment.” Could it really be that Yoongi has girlfriend? If you think about it, in the past three and a half years of working here you actually don’t remember him mentioning a girlfriend or significant other. And he wouldn’t be constantly flirting and annoying you if he was dating right? But maybe things have changed for him recently. However, you don’t know why but the thought that Yoongi could be dating someone puts a sour taste in your mouth. I mean it’s definitely because you feel bad for the poor soul that’s stuck with him, right?

“What? No no, it’s nothing like that y/n trust me!” he says a bit too panicky. 

“Okaaay, calm down Yoongi” you say “I was only teasing. Then if not a girlfriend, what was so important that couldn’t wait till the end of the holidays?” you ask curiously. 

“Only teasing?” he asks smugly, “Sounds to me like you were jealous, sweetheart.” he says not answering your question once again. 

You roll your eyes once again, “Ugh, You wish.”

“By the way, there’s only a few hours left for your flight, come on we have only a  little work left and then you won’t have to rush to the airport.” he says trying to change the topic. 

You don’t know why but Yoongi is being really weird about this whole situation. You want to pry and find out what’s got him like this, but seeing his reaction and unwillingness to answer, you decide to let it go for now.  

Yoongi and you get back to working in silence for a while, you both are almost done with the report and are proofreading the final copy with utter concentration when the sound of your phone ringing breaks your focus. The screen displays your mom calling, she must be just checking on you to see if you’ve left for the airport. You turn to yoongi and give him a look to say ‘excuse me’ and pick up the call. 

“Yes mom, I’m almost done with work and will leave for the airport soon” you say before she can begin worrying. 

“Y/n dear…that’s not why I’m calling.” your mom says tentatively. “Haven’t you seen the news sweetheart?” 

“The news? Huh? Mom what are you talking about?” you ask confused. 

“Y/n there is a huge snow storm all across the cities, all flights have been cancelled” she informs you gravely. 

A snow storm? No, it can’t be. You move over to your office desktop to check the news online. Yoongi watches you curiously and looks over your shoulder to see what you’re looking at. And it’s true, there is a huge snow storm that is affecting a lot of cities and as a result transportation like trains, flights and busses have been cancelled. Immediately a sense of dread takes over you, if you hadn’t been so stubborn to finish the work you could have already been with your family and avoided this whole mess. Now you will have to spend Christmas all alone. 

“Hello? Y/n are you there?” your mom’s voice through the phones pulls you out of your reverie. 

“Uh…ye..yes mom, I’m here.” you say trying not to choke up. Christmas is the only time you actually get to spend with your family, and because of your stupid stubborness you’re going to miss out. 

“Aww, honey I’m so sorry, Your dad and I feel really bad that you won’t be here with us, but please don’t cry alright. We’ll come visit you for New Year’s.” she says trying to cheer you up.

All you manage to say is a small “okay.”

“Y/n, you’re going to be okay right?” your mom asks worried. 

Not wanting to worry her any more you tell her you’ll be fine and that it’s not a big deal and end the call. You take a deep sigh and turn to your left where Yoongi is watching you intently. 

“Talk about bad luck, am I right?” you say trying to lighten the mood. 

He clears his throat and looks away “Uh, yeah. Well anyway I finished the remaining proofreading, so we’re officially done y/n.” He says. 

“What’s the point anyway, I’m still stuck here.” you huff. 

He only shrugs in response. And for a second you wonder if something is wrong with him. Because the Min Yoongi you know wouldn’t waste a single opportunity to mock you. He would totally call you out for being stubborn and putting yourself in this situation but instead there he is sitting silently and looking almost sad? 

And that’s when it hits you. He’s in the same situation as you. He can’t visit his family on Christmas either. You don’t know why but knowing he’s in the same boat makes you feel slightly better. Misery loves company I guess. No matter how annoying the company can be sometimes.

“So what are you going to do now? You know since you can’t leavetown?” he asks awkwardly. 

You let out a deep sigh, “Probably just going to heat up leftover pizza and watch reruns of The office.” you answer glumly. “What about you? Got any special plans?” 

He just shrugs, “Nope. Pretty much the same as you.” he announces.

You just nod solemnly. 

“Well..” he says packing up his things, “We should probably head out now.”

“Uh huh” you say and you move to gather up your belongings. 

Once the two of you are ready to leave, Yoongi turns towards you with a little nervous smile on his face, “Hey since we both can’t spend spend Christmas with our family, do you want to maybe spend it together instead?” 

You just stare at him, a little confused if you heard him right. Do you really want to spend Christmas with Min Yoongi? The guy who annoys you to the ends of the earth. Well now that you think about it, he hasn’t been all that annoying today. Maybe it won’t be so bad. After all it’s Christmas, do you really want to stay at home alone and wallow in self pity?

When you don’t answer him immediately he continues, “I know I’m probably the last person you want to spend Christmas with, but I was just thinking since we’re both probably going to be alone it will be nice to you know…” he trails off. 

“Yeah I’d like that” you say in a soft voice. 

“What? Really?” he can’t keep the surprise out of his voice, he is genuinely shocked that you agreed. Then he smiles softly and says “Alright then, shall we head to my place? It’s closer, only a few blocks away.” 

You just nod, not knowing what else to say. Suddenly you feel very awkward. What if it’s not a good idea to go with him? Yoongi and you have never really hung out together outside of work, so to suddenly spend Christmas together does seem a bit weird. Nevertheless you already agreed to it, so you just silently follow him out, hoping this doesn’t turn out to be a disaster. 

The walk to his apartment is a short and silent one. Once you both you enter his house, you notice that his place looks quite comfortable, cozy and surprisingly clean, unlike his desk at the office, which is always messy. There are a few pictures of friends and family on his wall and a sad looking christmas tree in one corner of the living room. Apart from this, there aren’t any decorations in his house. 

Trying to be a good host he takes off your coat for you and hangs it on his rack. “I’ll get you a change of clothes so that you can be more warm and comfortable” he says rushing into his bedroom. 

 After Yoongi and you have both freshened up and dressed comfortably, you both are seated on the couch, each with a cup of hot chocolate in hand. That awkward feeling is back again and you know he feels it too. The both of you have never really been in such a situation together, the only time the two of you interact involves a lot of bickering, so to say this is awkward is putting it lightly. 

Trying to relieve some of the tension you ask, “So…what are we going to do about dinner? Shall we order take out?”

“What? Take out on Christmas? No way.” he says appalled. “I have some chicken in the freezer, and maybe some spaghetti, we can make something.” he concludes. 

“Okayyy, but I’m not really good at cooking” you say a bit timidly.

His signature smirk that was missing for so long is back again, “The ever perfect y/n is bad at something? Somebody call the news channel” he teases. 

“Yeah yeah, I suck at cooking, everyone’s bad at something okay.”

“Well y/n, I’m sorry to disappoint, but not me. Along with my brilliant brain, charming good looks and incredible personality, I also happen to be a really good cook.” he says smiling. 

“You forgot to mention your immeasurable humility.” you say sarcastically. 

“Yes yes, that too.” he gives you a cheeky grin. 

You can’t help but chuckle. Finally you think, the awkward tension is dissipating and you both can get back to your normal bickering selves. 

After finishing with your hot chocolates, Yoongi gets up from the couch and goes toward the kitchen, “Well y/n, since you’re basically useless at cooking…” he says as he takes out an old bottle of wine from the cabinet “Why don’t you set the table instead?” he says pointing to a small table with two chairs in the corner of the kitchen. 

“Yeah, for once you take can take on the heavy load.” you say smugly and get on with the job assigned to you, while Yoongi begins to prepare the food. 

“Are you saying that I never take on the heavy load?” he asks feigning hurt. 

“Yes that’s precisely what I’m saying, Yoongi.” 

“How dare you! After I just helped you today?” he looks appalled but you can tell he doesn’t mean this seriously. 

“Oh please! You big baby, you have it so easy for you, being best friends with Hoseok and all. He lets you get  away with anything.” you complain. 

“Hey that’s not true,” he retorts, “He’s just as hard on me as he is on everyone else.”

“Oh really?” you raise an eyebrow “Then why does he always let you pick partners for any project before anyone else?” 

He goes silent at that. That’s right, he thought you didn’t know about it, but you did. 

You continue enjoying his dumbfounded expression, “And you always pick me as your partner, just to get on my nerves, I know it.” you declare. 

“Oh really now?” he says raising an eyebrow “You don’t know me or my motives, y/n” he says matter of factly. 

“Oh but I do sweetheart” you retort back with a smirk of your own. 

Yet again he’s dumbfounded and looks at you with an unreadable expression on his face, it’s almost like adoration? No, it can’t be, right? But it’s gone just as quickly, as if it never happened. 

He just shakes his head and chuckles, “Trust me y/n, Hoseok doesn’t let me choose partners, that happened only once. He just thinks the two of us work really well together and I agree with him. Don’t you?” 

“Hmm…yeah. Maybe you aren’t so incompetent at your job” you say, not wanting to admit aloud that he’s actually one of the best at Jung Corporations. 

Since you’ve finished setting the table, which there wasn’t much to do anyway, you opt to sit on the chair and watch Yoongi as he busily prepares your dinner. He looks so comfortable, like he’s done this a million times before and he probably has. He’s even humming a soft little tune to himself and you can’t help but think that he looks so peaceful. Seeing how he’s so immersed in the process, you start to notice his features, and you get why almost every girl in the office fawns over him. He is handsome, incredibly so, but of course you will never admit to this out loud. 

Just then he looks up at you and smiles, and you try to act like you weren’t just staring at him this whole time. “Dinner is almost ready,” he says, “Can you serve the wine?” 

You nod and get up to serve the wine while he places the dishes at the table, Stir fry chicken with spaghetti. You’re surprised by how good it looks, even though he just spun this up with whatever was available at home. And without further delays the two of you dig in. 

As soon as you take the first bite, you realise he was not kidding when he said he’s a great cook. “Mmmm…Yoongi, this is actually incredible” you say with a mouth full of food. 

He too, smiles back at you with a mouthful of food, “I told you didn’t I? I’m a great cook.”  

“Yeah fine, I’ll give this one to you” you say reluctantly.

The both of you settle into a comfortable silence for the rest of dinner. You can’t help but notice how domestic this all seems. Yoongi and you spending Christmas together, him cooking dinner, the two of you bickering and laughing, almost like a couple. Wait…what? A couple?  Why are you having such thoughts? No less about Min Yoongi of all the people. Something is wrong with you, maybe the wine is hitting you more than you think. Or maybe you’re just overwhelmed with the strange turn of events today and you’re just missing your family that’s all. Yeah that’s definitely got to be it. There is no other logical explanation. 

Seeing your troubled expression, Yoongi asks “Y/n, is everything okay?” 

“Yes of course, why wouldn’t it be?” you say trying not to raise suspicion. 

He moves his hand on the table to keep over yours, “I know this is probably the last thing you wanted to do, but I’m glad you came today y/n.” he says with a lot of sincerity. 

You look down at his hand over yours and look back up at his face. He has that similar unreadable expression, what is it? attraction? Adoration? Kindness? You can’t tell, but it once again has you thinking all kinds of thoughts. Not trusting yourself to speak coherent words, you don’t say anything back and just smile at him instead. 

After dinner and clearing up the kitchen, the two of you find yourselves on the couch once again, browsing through netflix deciding what to watch. You turn to look at Yoongi, his focus is on the TV, he looks a little nervous to you. You think that maybe it’s because he’s missing his family. Seeing the pictures on the wall and remembering the few times he’s mentioned his family at work in passing, does seem like he’s close to them. This makes you wonder what was that ‘prior commitment’ that was so important to delay his flight. He was being so evasive about it before, which makes you all the more curious, so you  decide to ask him again. 

“Hey Yoongi” you start

“Hmm?” he says without taking his eyes off the Television. 

“What was the reason you delayed your ticket?” you ask.

He stills at that, and turns to look at you. “This again? I told you it was nothing.” 

“It can’t be nothing if you had to sacrifice seeing your family for it.” you retort. 

“Well, I wasn’t sacrificing” he declares, “I just delayed my trip, I didn’t know this snow storm would come right?” 

“Still Yoongi!” you insist, “What was so important that it had to be done on Christmas?” 

“Y/n, why can’t you just let it go?” he asks tiredly “It was just a stupid thing.” 

“If it’s so stupid, why can’t you just tell me?” you demand. 

“Ugh y/n” he whines. 

“What? You constantly annoy and tease me, And the one time I ask you something you’re being shady about you can’t answer me?” you complain. 

He doesn’t respond to that. He doesn’t even look at you. He goes back to focusing on the Television, browsing through options. 

Frustrated you continue, “Is it something illegal?” you ask in a whisper “Drugs? Theft? Murder?!” 

“Y/n! Have you lost your mind?” he asks incredulously. “It’s nothing, just let it go.” he says with a tone of finality. 

But you are not you if not stubborn right? 

“It must a girlfriend then.” you say speculatively. “Why would you want to hide that Yoongi?”

“Y/n…it’s not that I already told you.” he says and you can see he’s losing his patience. 

“Then what is it?” you insist. “Why won’t you tell me? What can possibly be so goddamn important–”  

“Because of you!!” he interrupts you loudly “I heard that you were working overtime and cancelled my flight for you!” 

Immediately, you can see the shock and regret on his face. This is something he clearly did not want to say to you. 

You go completely silent at that. Gaping at him. You don’t know what to say. Why would he cancel his flight just for you? It makes no sense. 

“What? For me?” you ask confused. “Yoongi that makes no–” suddenly something clicks in your brain. 

“Yoongi, do you…do you like me?” you ask in a soft voice. 

He’s just staring at you. Silent for a moment before he answers, “I thought it was pretty obvious”

Your heart is pounding so fast at the moment, you’re afraid it’s going to burst. Did Min Yoongi just confess to you? Your mind is filled with so many questions. Why would he always annoy you and make you miserable then? Your mind is not able to wrap around this entire thing. 

Seeing you in shock like this, he begins, “Look y/n, I didn’t want you to find out this way I’m sorry, and I know you will probably never feel the same so can we just–”

You speak before he can even complete his sentence, “If you really like me then why do you always annoy me? And get me all riled up?” 

He looks a little embarrassed at that question, “Well…you see when you first joined work, you were so quiet and hardly spoke to people and I didn’t know any other way to get your attention. And well after that it was just so hard to go back so I kind of stuck with it.” he says looking at anything but you. 

You mind is still processing what he just said. Min Yoongi likes you. Has probably liked you for a long time. And all the times he annoys you was to get your attention? 

Seeing no response from you, he continues, “Y/n, I know you probably hate me even more now, I’m sorry I didn’t want it to happen like this. You’re probably regretting coming home with me tonight.” he says a bit too dejectedly. 

You look at him once again and think back to tonight, he was so much fun to talk to and spend time with. And when you really think about it, even though he annoys you to pieces, he’s never crossed a line, always so thorough with his work and you’ve seen him with other people, he’s always so kind and empathetic towards everyone. And right now he looks so dejected, that it makes your heart hurt, so you do something that you would probably never do while sober. Yes, let’s blame it on the insignificant amount of wine you consumed. 

You grab Yoongi’s face, and crush your lips to his. 

His whole body stiffens at the contact. You don’t let that deter you and continue to kiss him. His lips feel so soft and smooth and after a moment of hesitation, he starts to kiss you back. 

He unconsciously pulls you over his lap, without breaking the kiss,  so you’re now straddling him. You put your arms around his neck and tug at his hair, while his are around your waist pulling you even more closer to deepen the kiss and you’re practically gasping for air when he realises something and pulls away. 

His face is flushed, hair is messy yet you can’t help but think that he looks so incredibly hot. 

“Wait..so” he says in a deep voice “Does this mean…?” he looks at you hesitantly. 

You just put your head back and give a small chuckle. “Yes it does” you say “What happened to that brilliant brain of yours now?” you ask with a raised eyebrow. 

He just laughs, “I’ve never been so thankful for a snow storm before” he says with a huge grin on his face. 

You laugh once again and lean forward to kiss him on his nose, “Merry Christmas Yoongi.” 

He gives you a smile that could melt away all the snow. “Merry Christmas y/n.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 A/N: Hi it’s dragonfly here. I hope you liked it! I would love to hear your thoughts and comments. :)

[cluttermind]

Without A Parachute (3/?) - No Judgment

Summary:  Emma worked tremendously hard to give herself a better chance. From group homes, to living in her car, to ivy league student, this English Major’s only solace was escaping her reality through books. One night, Emma comes home to find a small package with only her name on it written in beautiful calligraphy. The package contains a thick, brown leather journal. Emma soon learns that the fiction she writes in the journal eventually becomes reality. Will Emma learn to control this gift, or will she fall too fast into the temptation to change too much? With the help of her good friends August, Robin, and Elsa, and the mysterious, intriguing bartender of The Jolly Roger, Emma discovers just how easy it is to lose control, and how difficult it is to pick up the pieces.

Rating: M 

Words: 10,482 total / 3,335 Ch 3

Read on ao3: Beginning | Current

Note: Thought it was time to finally post this here! Thanks for reading friends! I hope you like this one - I had a lot of fun (maybe too much fun) writing it. Here's a little fun fluff and sweetness and lots of pop culture references before things get ~interesting~ Next week will probably be a hiatus while I finish up some [online] finals but a LOT happens in ch 4 so I hope you stay with me. I’d love to hear your thoughts!

//

Chapter 3

“No Judgment”

I can be your lover or your shoulder to cry on

You can be whoever you like

When you're with me, no judgement

You can get that from everyone else

You don't have to prove nothing

- Nial Horan, No Judgement

Emma worked at the bookstore all day on Friday. Being there always made her feel a little better. She was surrounded by books and all the things Belle brought back from her excursions. Bell had recently gotten a new shipment from an independent publisher she had recently found. Rose and Petal Books, while stocking many popular titles, had an extensive collection of lesser-known novels from independent publishers along with a plethora of local authors.

One book in particular caught her eye and there was only one copy sent in the box. The book was bound in a soft, brown leather with its title engraved and filled with gold foil on the cover in beautiful cursive. Into The Page . There was no barcode to scan for inventory.

“That’s odd.” Emma commented to herself, turning the thick book over in her hands. She opened it up to skim the pages and noticed that it was a journal filled with handwritten content. Something about the book felt faintly familiar. While the title was beautiful, there wasn’t anything remarkable about it. She figured it might have been someone’s manuscript that was sent to the publisher that got mixed in by accident.

“Hey Belle,” she called to her boss who was at the register, reading.

“Find something interesting?” Belle asked as she walked over to where Emma was in the back room.

“I think they accidentally sent us someone’s manuscript?” Emma handed her the journal.

“Hm. That is interesting.” Belle gently flipped through the book. “I’ll call the publisher tomorrow. It’s getting late, why don’t you head home for the night.”

Emma looked at the clock. It was 8:00, only an hour till closing anyway. “Sure. I’ll see you next week?” Belle nodded and gave Emma a quick hug. Before leaving, she hung up her apron and turned her phone back on. Emma usually turns her phone off during work and uses the time as an escape from everything. There were a few texts coming into her group chat about the meeting Elsa and Robin were at. Essentially the meeting was going to run long, lots of signs needed to be made before Sunday’s protest about something or other. Emma wasn’t really up-to-date on this particular one. August offered to come help because he was bored.

There was a text from her roommate Sarah to her and Claire that came in half an hour ago.

Sarah to group: Hey, Josh is coming over to cook me dinner and you know ;) can y’all stay out till like midnight? Maybe 1 if things go really well ;) Don’t want any distractions tonight ladies

Claire to group: Yeah I’m staying with Danielle tonight - we’re hitting up the Alpha Delta Pi party tonight

Emma sighed. Her friends were busy and she wasn't in the mood to spend hours making posters and signs after working all day. But the library would be open for a while longer. She could use the computers and scroll through Reddit for a few hours.

Emma to group: Sure thing. Have fun :)

Then she remembered someone she could waste some time with. She walked towards The Jolly Roger and opened the door. It was starting to get crowded but it wasn’t too hectic yet. Emma made her way to the bar and noticed Ruby there along with a man she hadn’t met yet.

“Hey Ruby,” Emma said, smiling. She and Ruby had gotten to know each other since they had first met at the pub. Ruby was a junior majoring in art. She also hated Macroeconomics, the class they were in together, but it was filling a graduation requirement. They studied together a few times and always ended up begging Killian for free food. Emma always ended up paying though, sneaking the money under the plate before she left.

“Hey! Looks like you’re in better spirits today. You okay?” Ruby responded, referencing the previous night that Emma would very much like to forget.

“Nothing that sleep couldn’t fix,” she lied. While the initial shock of yesterday was gone, the pain, the anger, the self-doubt still lingered.

“If you’re looking for the Captain he’s upstairs.”

“What?” Blush rose to Emma’s face.

“Killian. He’s upstairs. Took the night off. Just take the stairs behind the bar, walk two floors up and you’ll be at his door. I’m sure he won’t mind!” Ruby explained.

“Oh. Thanks.” Emma headed up the stairs, and hesitated at the door. Through it she could hear the sound of a guitar strumming. Maybe he didn’t want company. Maybe he’d rather be alone. Maybe he didn’t want to see her . She could just go back and sit at the bar and talk to Ruby for a while. They weren’t super close but she could find things for them to talk about. It was also getting busy downstairs though. Pull it together Emma. She knocked on the door.

The sound of the guitar stopped and seconds later Killian opened the door. He was surprised and happy to see her. “Hello, Swan. What brings you here? A little early for a booty call no?” Killian grinned, raising an eyebrow at her.

“Oh it’s never too early,” Emma played along staring right at Killian who was leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed at his chest. “My roommate sexiled me and I needed somewhere to crash for a while.”

Killian stepped aside to let her in. He was wearing just a plain black v-neck t-shirt and grey joggers. It was odd seeing him out of his work attire - a black button down with two buttons undone at the top and dark, a black vest, and slim-fitted jeans. He watched her as she walked in and closed the door, distracted by her being.

“Sexiled?” Killian teased. “Well if you insist, love. Can’t leave a beautiful woman unsatisfied now, could we?” Emma slapped his arm.

“You know what it means. Sarah kicked me out so she could fuck her boyfriend without interruption. Honestly the warning was appreciated because even my ear buds can’t tune her out.” Emma explained. She took her jacket off and draped it over a stool at Killian’s kitchen Island. His apartment was beautiful. It was an open concept with a gorgeous kitchen, a beautiful island, a ridiculously comfortable sectional, with an oversized chase at one end and a large TV mounted to the wall. Speakers were all over. The doors to his bedroom with glass french doors, making the one-bedroom apartment look bigger than it is. “Sorry for not texting before, I thought you’d be working and was coming to sit at the bar for a while. Ruby told me you were up here.”

“No worries, love. I quite enjoy the company,” Killian said, moving to flop down on the chaise part of the couch. “And it’s clear that you find me so irresistible that you just had to see me tonight instead of one of your other friends.”

Emma rolled her eyes. “Oh I can resist you just fine. Everyone else was busy.”

“Ouch!” Killian feigned pain, his hand going to his heart. “So I was your second choice.”

“4th actually.” Emma teased.

“Keep telling yourself that.” He winked and patted the spot next to him. “How about a movie? Anything in particular you’re interested in watching?”

Emma kicked her boots off and flopped down next to him. They were so close their arms and legs were touching. He nudged her foot playfully and he turned on the TV and opened Netflix. She shrugged against him. “Whatever you’re watching is fine. I don’t want to disrupt your evening.”

“You’re not disrupting anything, love.” Killian responded, handing her the remote. “Snacks?” He got up, taking the warmth of his body with him and Emma suddenly missed the closeness.

“When have I ever turned down food?” Killian laughed. She adored the sound of his laugh. It always made her smile. Emma scrolled through Killian’s watch list on Netflix. Ozark, The Witcher, The West Wing, Grey’s Anatomy . The last one made Emma giggle under her breath. So Mr. Bartender is a Grey’s fan. She made a mental note to tease him about that later. Not like she was the one to speak though. Ever since August let her use his Netflix account she’s been on that binge as well. Killian tossed a bag of popcorn in the microwave. “How was your day?” Emma asked, genuinely caring about the answer.

Killian groaned. “Infuriating. It was a lot of inventory and ordering and arguing to get things here on time. I prefer working the bar to that any day. How was yours?”

“Eh, it was fine. I spent all day working down at The Rose and Petal.”

“The bookstore?”

“Yup.”

“Aye, my grandad loved it there. Belle still owns it?”

“She does. Your grandfather lives here? What’s his name? Maybe I’ve seen him.”

Killian leaned back against the island, gripping it a little tighter as his eyes moved from Emma to the floor.  “Nah, love. He used to live here. He passed away 2 years ago, just after I opened the pub.”

Emma’s face softened. “Killian, I’m so sorry.”

He looked up at Emma. “He was a professor at Cornell. In the English department actually.” He tilted his head and smiled a bit. “You remind me a bit of him.”

Emma smiled back. “How so?”

“He loved academia and his research and teaching. He always had a book in his hand. Sometimes he’d lose all track of the world around him when he was working or reading. He was a fountain of useless knowledge. He knew little about music but always asked me what I was listening to, only took his coffee black except for at the pub, and asked me how my day was every time I saw him and always cared about what the answer was.” Killian reminisced. He had spent nearly every summer growing up in Ithaca with his grandma and granddad. Killian still couldn’t believe that he’s gone. “He always made me smile and loved telling me about what he was reading. He was my best friend.”

“He sounds wonderful.” Emma noted, blush creeping to her cheeks feeling both sad for Killian’s loss and flattered at the sentiment that she reminded me of someone he clearly loved so deeply. When Emma wasn’t physically at The Jolly Roger or with her friends or at work, she was usually texting Killian. They talked about nonsense most of the time but there was something comforting seeing his name pop up on her phone after long days. In retrospect, she wasn’t surprised that it was him she made her way to last night when life had shaken her to her core. Emma knew he’d be the one to help her hold the broken pieces together. If she was being honest with herself, it still felt as if those pieces were scattered on the floor. And from the look in his eyes, she could tell he had some pieces there as well.

“Aye. Wonderful.” Killian said. Although it was unclear who exactly he was talking about as he looked at her. Just then the microwave went off, breaking his trance. He opened the hot bag and poured the popcorn into a bowl. “So what’re we watching?” He asked, reaching to grab and open a bottle of wine.

“Well I saw this really fascinating documentary on sharks the other day that I wanted to show you.” Emma explained.

“Sharks, huh? What about them?” KIllian asked, intrigued.

Emma brightened, and animatedly explained the general plot. “So there’s this group of sharks that are living in the water around New York City. And there’s this big storm that’s coming, but no one is listening to the people telling them about the storm so of course no one prepares for the storm. So two tornadoes form over the water picking up all the sharks -”

“Emma.” Killian interrupts her, turning to look at her. “That’s the plot of Sharknado.”

“Sharknado 2: The Second One actually.” She corrects him.

“We are not watching Sharknado 2.” Killian says, chuckling. He hands her a glass of white wine which she accepts as he takes his place on the couch next to her.

“Sharknado 1?”

“Swan.”

“You mean to tell me you have no desire to watch Ian Ziering fight some flying CGI sharks?” She joked. She was clearly teasing him, enjoying the way he laughed at her ridiculous suggestions. Truth be told she’s seen all the movies multiple times. Who doesn’t love a flying CGI shark and an awful romance plot? Emma and her friends had multiple drunk movie nights last semester to watch them all. They provided a good laugh.

Killian laughed. “Aye, how about a real movie?”

“A REAL movie?” Emma feigned offense. “Clearly you have no respect for low-budget disaster films.” She grabbed a handful of popcorn, popping some into her mouth.

Killian nudged her playfully. “I think the low budget disaster movies have no respect for the viewers.”

“That’s the point! But fine.” Emma paused, thinking of a movie. “How about Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No?”

“Again with the flying sharks! You know that you have not listed a single shark documentary yet, love.” Killian jokes, taking a sip of wine.

“What about The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society?” Emma said, taking some popcorn. “It’s one of my favorites. Also Sharknado 4: The 4th Awakens, Sharknado 5: Global Swarming, and The Last Sharknado: It’s About Time are just not as good as the first three so I’m out of flying shark suggestions.” Killian stared at her, jaw nearly hitting the floor at the absurdity of the existence of 6 Sharknado movies and the fact that Emma has clearly seen them all. But her actual suggestion was sincere. It was an intriguing story of love and war and literature that Emma had seen at least 10 times. It reminded her of the power that books had.

“Now we’re getting somewhere.” Killian said eventually, choosing to let the Sharknado movies go. He searched for the film on Netflix and hit play when he found it.

About 20 minutes and a glass of wine later, Emma had snuggled closer to Killian. Partially for warmth, partially because her body reacted instinctively to his being so close. Killian, feeling that Emma was cold against him, reached behind them to grab a blanket, tossing it over them and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. She leaned in closer to him, resting her head against his shoulder.

Her favorite film about writers and readers and the power of literature and love pulled all of the pain of the events of yesterday back to the surface. The weight of her professor’s words were sitting on her chest like a boulder and she couldn’t bear that weight alone anymore Eventually, Emma spoke softly. “I didn’t tell you the whole story last night.” The words spilled effortlessly out of her mouth. There was something about Killian that made her feel safe.  

Killians eyes stayed on the movie as he rubbed his thumb reassuringly over her shoulder. “Aye, I figured.” He wasn’t about to push her to tell him. He wanted to let her know that he saw her and that she could some to him on her own terms.

“Professor Gold told me I shouldn’t be a writer. That I don’t have what it takes and that I should consider another career.” This caught Killian’s attention. He shifted so he was looking right at her.

“What?!” Killian’s accent was thick with concern.

“He was apparently doing me a favor.” Her eyes were wet. Control was slipping from her grasp. She desperately needed to let go. Emma had tried so desperately to tell herself that none of her professor’s words mattered, to pretend like they didn’t affect her. Truth be told, she barely slept last night, constantly being woken up by recurring thoughts that he was right, that she wasn’t good enough, that she was a fraud.

“What kind of person thinks that’s a bloody favor?” Killian interrupted the tightening spiral of her thoughts.

Emma paused, letting the spiral start to slowly unwind. “What if he’s right?” She whispered. The question she’d been asking herself she had finally said out loud. A single tear escaped from her eye that Killian was quick to wipe away.

“He’s wrong. And you’re too stubborn to let him be right.”

“I just - I don’t know if I can do this.” Emma fell apart. She had held everything together until this moment. She didn’t know if she had what it took to survive Cornell. She didn’t have the support system most people had and she certainly didn’t have the resources others did growing up. Her average grades weren’t helping her imposter syndrome. What if she was here by mistake? What if she would never be good enough? What if she didn’t deserve to be here? Tears escaped her eyes faster than Killian could wipe them away.

Killian pulled her close, rubbing her back. “Shhh, love. Shhh. Yes you can.” He kissed the top of her head. Why? He had absolutely no idea. He hoped it would comfort her. “You made it this far. You got here. You got to this point. Fuck what Gold says. Fuck what anyone says.” Emma let herself relax into his arms locked tightly around her as she choked on sobs, tears falling to his shirt.

Then Killian remembered what his brother used to say to him when he was struggling. “You get to make your own choices. Make them based on what makes you happy.” He gently brushed her hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ear. “Does writing make you happy?”

Emma looked up at him. “It’s the only thing that makes me happy.”

“Oi, now I’m slightly offended!” He joked, smiling at her.

Emma tried to fight the smile pulling at her lips. “Your ego is ridiculous.”

“But I got you to smile, no?”

“You always do.” Emma wasn’t joking anymore. The way he looked at her made her heart skip beats and the way he cared for her scared the hell out of her. Something about Killian drew her to him and she didn’t doubt he felt the same. He ensured she was fed during late night studying and provided distractions when she needed a break. It was Killian she found herself going to when she needed to scream to someone.

They returned their attention to the film. While Killian had no idea what was going on, Emma was mesmerized, whispering some of her favorite lines under her breath along with the movie. Killian spent more time watching her than the move, enamored by the way she memorized her favorite parts, the way her brow furrowed when characters she didn’t like appeared, the way she gently hit his chest to shush him every time he attempted to ask what was happening or who a particular character was.

Eventually the movie ended. Emma reluctantly sat up, sighing as she removed herself from Killian’s arms and the warmth of his body.

“Thank you for letting me interrupt your evening. It was nice to be in a bubble for a bit and feel something other then . . . I don’t even know.” Emma said quietly. Killian turned to look at her.

“Then stay in the bubble for a while longer, love.” He held his arm out to her and she settled against him. Emma rested her head on Killian’s chest, draping her arm around his waist. His fingers traced lazy circles on her back. He wanted to be her escape, her bubble where things were good and where she could cry if she needed to. And she had the urge to be his.

For a while they laid like that - content in each other’s arms, clueless to the world around them, shutting out all the pain they both felt. In time they fell asleep for the most restful night either of them had in a long time.

[ks-caster]

Starcrossed

Fandom(s): The Vampire Diaries, The 100

Characters: Caroline, Klaus, Murphy, the Delinquents

Premise: 100 years after the apocalypse, Klaus believes Caroline to have died in primefiya. Caroline, for her part, happened to be on a space station when the bombs went off, and has spent the last century on the Arc, not knowinf if any of her friends or family are alive - except for Klaus, because if he’d died, she would have died too (we’re just pretending the unsiring thingy never happened, okay?)

Chapters 1 and 2 and my outline are available under the cut.

Moonrise

“I thought I’d find you here.”

Caroline smiled without looking away from the window.

“It’s not exactly rocket science,” she laughed, taking a sip of her coffee.

“C’mon, Forbes,” Dr. Murphy laughed, sitting down beside her. “That joke hasn’t gotten old yet?”

“I’ve only been on Alpha for a month, Murph,” she reminded him, still gazing out into the vacuum of space. Behind the earth—a fantastic sight on its own from the Alpha Space Station—the moon was rising in a shimmering, silvery crescent. It had become one of Caroline’s favorite sights in the year and a half she’d spent in orbit. Polaris had been more enclosed; their largest window was smaller than the average ones on Alpha, but that was to be expected of a research station versus a strategic one. Polaris needed their environment controllable, while Alpha was structured for high visibility, with a combination of missile-proof windows and high-efficiency sensors. It had been years since Shenzhen had tried anything, but everyone knew that relations between America and China weren’t improving.

“You haven’t memorized what the moon looks like yet?” Dr. Murphy quipped.

“You haven’t memorized what Angelii Reyes looks like?” she shot back, quirking an eyebrow. Dr. Murphy opened his mouth to defend himself, then shut it. Everyone on the ship knew about the missile specialist’s massive crush on his coworker—and everyone had been warned when Caroline’s shuttle first docked that lying to a professional mediator wasn’t going to go particularly well.

“Didn’t know that matchmaker was part of your job description,” he grumbled.

“I’m multitasking,” she responded, finishing her coffee. When her contract with Polaris was up last month she’d been intending to return to Virginia, but Alpha had practically begged her to come aboard for a three month period and help resolve a communication crisis among their command team. She’d found herself jumping at the chance to stay away for just a little bit longer.

The year was 2050 when she’d first decided to take a temporary job in space. Her daughters were in their thirties, her school had four campuses, and she was on her third identity; it was a good time to vanish from view for a little while. 

At least, that were the reason she gave when people asked her. The truth was, there was one more thing she wanted the chance to get away from for a while; well, one more person. 

Once his daughter had begun attending her school, Klaus had become an unavoidable part of her life. At thirty, she’d been much warmer to the idea of him turning up on occasion than she had at nineteen when he’d sworn never to enter her life again. He’d toned the flirting farther down than she’d though him capable—an act of respect for her as a widow, and she’d appreciated it. For a while.

A few years passed, and things began to rekindle between them. It hadn’t been simple, it hadn’t been fast; he’d been mourning Camille and she’d been mourning Stefan. They’d had their issues and their steps back and their makeups and breakups. After a few decades of on-again, off-again, Caroline reached the conclusion that she needed to pick a lane—either pursue a real, healthy relationship with him, or set them both free to find greener pastures. But it was difficult to think straight when he was lying in bed next to her, tracing abstract patterns into her skin with his fingertips, or worse, when she was lying in her bed alone, hyperaware of the space he’d occupy if he was there. Most of the times that she’d traveled, he’d been there in some form or another, so there was nowhere in the world she could run to where she wasn’t reminded of him.

Nowhere on earth, anyway.

Over the years and identities, she’d earned several degrees. Turned out, having all sorts of contracts between her school and various colleges paid off; she could take a wide variety of online courses for virtually nothing, or take sabbaticals to attend various schools. Her current identity—Tasha Forbes, her own second cousin and godchild—had a masters in conflict mediation, and received an invitation to do a study on conflict resolution among the diverse scientific and military teams crewing the Polaris space station. An eighteen-month contract during which she would be entirely focused on work and uninterrupted by Klaus or anyone else from back home had struck her as the perfect opportunity to decide exactly what—and who—she wanted.

And it had worked—she knew it had worked when she hadn’t stopped missing Klaus, and had developed the habit of watching the moon rise from behind the earth because it reminded her of him in the most beautiful way. She made up her mind by the end of her third month that when she set foot on solid ground again, she was going to get into an interstate shuttle direct to Klaus’s current abode in California and tell him definitively that she wanted to be together, for real. She had a plan. She’d rehearsed the conversation. 

And then she had nine more months to over-analyze and second-guess herself—not her plan; she was confident that she wanted a relationship with Klaus—but her delivery. Suddenly a simple “I love you and I want to be with you” was the most complicated thing in human history to try to express.

All in all, the emergency summons to Alpha station had been a welcome relief from the pressure she placed on herself.

“If you’re that interested,” Dr. Murphy was saying, bringing Caroline back to the more immediate romantic conundrum, “do you think you could put in a good word for me? I was actually thinking of maybe asking her to dinner next week, when we dock with the Paradise to resupply.” He scratched his nose—an awkward habit he always did when he was nervous or stressed.

“Girls always know when their friends have been enlisted to improve a guy’s chances,” Caroline scolded. “What I can do is talk you through the process so that you can present the idea as appealingly as possible.”

Murphy stared out the window, a frown on his face, and Caroline laughed a little. God, he was shy in romance for someone so confident in actual, legitimate rocket science.

It was when he slowly rose to his feet and walked to the window, the color draining from his already pale face, that she realized something was wrong.

“Those are…” he whispered, and her eyes were drawn to what had distracted him. Six trails of golden fire were making their way across the blue background of the pacific ocean.

“Shuttlecraft?” Caroline suggested hesitantly, but she knew she was dead wrong before the words had left her mouth. They were traveling too fast for shuttlecraft—and much too close together to conform to safety regulations.

“Missiles,” Murphy breathed, and then took off towards the bridge, Caroline hot on his heels, cursing the fact that she had to run so slowly due to all the security cameras that could catch her vamp speed.

Command was in chaos—alarms blared, people were shouting orders while red lights flashed. Caroline vaguely remembered that as a civilian, she was supposed to return to her quarters during a red alert, but she doubted anyone was going to notice her.

“Status?” Murphy demanded, dashing to his post.

“Six 100-megaton nuclear warheads, heading from China towards the United States,” Angelii reported immediately. “Trajectories suggest Langley, Chicago, Atlanta, Austin, Denver and Portland are the targets.”

“An even spread,” Dr. Murphy murmured darkly. “ETA to detonation?”

“Thirty-two minutes,” an ensign whose name Caroline could never remember responded. Her heart stuttered. She couldn’t feel her feet. Someone was talking—murmuring to her in a low, calming voice… she wasn’t screaming, or crying, or doing anything to warrant a Low, Calming Voice™; actually it was her job to do that sort of thing, wasn’t it?

“Miss,” he was asking, possibly for the third time. “Miss, is there anyone you would like me to contact?” Caroline swallowed, the rush of sound from the last thirty seconds computing at vampire speed. Angelii was trying to break into the missiles’ targeting software to redirect them into space. The speed of her heartrate and the tone in her voice said she already knew she wouldn’t manage it in time.

“Girls,” Caroline finally go out. “I have two girls. One’s in Canada.” She struggled to meet his gaze. “Josie was in Portland. She… might still be there. I don’t remember how long she was staying.” There was no strength to her voice—it sounded thin and unnatural. Shouldn’t she remember her own daughter’s lecture tour itinerary? She stumbled to the communications console as the man with the infuriating calming voice punched in a code, and she dialed Josie’s number.

“Hi, this is Josephine Saltzman,” her voicemail announced cheerfully. “Please leave your name and number and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.”

“Jose, it’s mom,” Caroline said, forcing the edge of panic out of her voice. “There’s a nuclear bomb headed for Portland in less than half an hour. If you’re still there…” she choked momentarily. “Honey, I love you—and you need to get out of the city, whatever you gotta do…” had the twins ever gotten the hang of the whole teleportation thing? They’d found the spell in some old grimoires Alaric had been researching a few years back, but it had been tricky, and the last she’d heard of it, they still hadn’t managed to travel more than a few hundred meters. “Call me,” she finally managed, then hung up, immediately dialing Elizabeth.

“Hey there, mama bear,” Lizzie’s husband greeted her as he always did.

“Carlisle, I need you to put Lizzie on the phone right now, it’s an emergency,” she demanded, all in a rush.

“Sure thing—what’s happening?” he asked. She heard him shuffle to his feet, then footsteps announced he was traveling through the house to find his wife.

“The world’s ending,” Caroline murmured numbly as, out of the corner of her eyes, she saw eight trails of fire heading the opposite direction. America was firing back while they still could, apparently. Hopefully no one would shoot anything towards Canada… everyone liked Canada, right?

“It’s your mother,” Carlisle announced, and then the sound quality changed, indicating that she was on speaker.

“China just fired nuclear bombs at the U.S.,” Caroline explained without preamble. “Have you heard from your sister lately—is she still in Oregon?”

“Oh my god,” Lizzie breathed, and even through the phone Caroline could faintly hear her heart speed up. “Last I heard, she was still there until the end of the month. I’ll try and send a message… hang on.” The sound of paper ripping and a pen scratching frantically against it ended with a quickly whispered spell and a ‘whoosh’ of flame.

“I don’t think anyone’s shooting far north enough for you guys to get hit. Yet,” she added as another few missiles appeared on the view screens. Russia had joined in the fight. What was the blast radius on a nuke of that size? There were different colored rings on a large, interactive map of the world. They encompassed a frighteningly huge area.

“Try her phone again,” Lizzie suggested. “I’ll let you know if she gets back to me, okay? I’m gonna call dad.”

“Okay,” Caroline whispered. “I love you both.”

Elena didn’t pick up the phone, but Steve, her ever-friendly middle child, answered on the first ring. 

Bonnie didn’t answer at first, but called back right away. She was in Arizona. Inside two of the threatening circles on the map. Caroline’s brain wouldn’t function right—wouldn’t figure out for her whether that meant instant death, slow horrible death, or just increased chances of cancer.

With two minutes left on the clock, she was dialing Klaus’s number. Could a nuclear blast kill an Original? Would Klaus even know? She swallowed as the line rang. The whole reason she was seeing all this from the aliens’-eye-view was because she didn’t know how to tell him how she felt about him. 

Now the world was ending beneath her feet, and she had less than 100 seconds to figure it out.

“Hello, love.” Klaus’s voice was warm and smooth and full of the particular joy that he seemed to reserve just for her. This, out of everything, brought tears to her eyes, and for a moment she couldn’t speak—couldn’t force a single sound past the agonizing pain in her throat, and the crippling ache in hear heart when she thought that this could be the last time she ever heard it.

“Klaus,” she sobbed faintly, clutching at the nearest console for support.

“What’s the matter, darling?” he asked. No, he demanded. His demeanor had changed instantly, and she imagined the way his eyes had gone hard, the way his spine straightened and his brow furrowed as he waited to hear who he needed to kill.

“Um, the nuclear arsenal of mankind is being launched,” she summarized. Numbly, she counted 48 total bombs being tracked. Around her, a few soldiers were still frantically working, but most were leaning into their personal comm links, exchanging last words with their loved ones below. No one was trying to stop them. Angelii sat back from the screen, shaking her head helplessly. 

“Where are you?” Klaus’s voice had a bit of a growl in it, and she recognized the fear for what it was, although anyone else would have thought it was hostility.

“I’m on a military base,” she whispered. “I’m watching the whole thing in real time… are you still in California?”

“Chicago,” he corrected immediately. “Where…”

“Chicago,” she echoed in muted horror. “There’s one right on top of you… oh my god…”

“Caroline, where are you—are you in danger?” his voice was impatient. She’d heard that particular tone before—it meant he was worried about her, terrified, even, and why on earth wasn’t her first priority saving herself?

“I’m fine, I’m…” but a sudden buzz of static cut her off. “Klaus? Klaus can you still hear me?” a quick glance around the room showed everyone else experiencing the same thing. Her eyes found Dr. Murphy’s.

“The warheads have started to detonate,” he explained quietly. “Most of the U.S’s electronics just shut off. I’m sorry,” he added. Caroline had heard him, and understood the words, but her fingers were in denial and she dialed first Josie’s number, then Lizzy’s. Neither of them rang.

Slowly, dream-like, Caroline made her way to the main window, abandoning the analysis screens in favor of looking directly down at the carnage. She watched as first the Chinese bombs and then the American ones, followed by sundry others, reached their targets and exploded in deceptively tiny eruptions of orange and red. Thick black smoke rose up and began to cover the sky, concealing the planet below in round patches. Within thirty minutes, the planet she knew so well looked like it had contracted some horrible disease.

World War III had taken less than 2 hours, from start to bloody finish.

Freefall

“So, what’re you in for?” 

Caroline glanced up from her meagre, bland food, critically evaluating the speaker. His pale skin, prominent forehead and sardonic smirk told him his name without a shadow of a doubt. This boy was unquestionably one of Dr. Murphy’s direct descendants. She wondered vaguely why they’d never met, but then, the Ark was a pretty big ship.

“Vandalism,” she responded simply, skewering an unappetizing piece of something and shoveling it into her mouth. “I set the art gallery on fire,” she elaborated through the edible substance filling her mouth. She’d worked hard to make her newest teenage persona as laid back as possible; someone of whom no one would have any particular expectations. With each generation and each new set of draconian laws, adulthood on the Ark had transitioned from irksome to deeply detestable. 

“Nice,” Murphy snorted in appreciation.

“Hey, what do you have against art galleries?” a boy with an honest, innocent face and a beanie over his shaggy hair demanded.

“I dunno,” she shrugged, leaning back in her seat. “Put me in a weird mood, I guess. Honestly though, I think maybe the moonshine might have been more at fault.”

“Cause you drank it or cause you used it as accelerant?” the boy checked with a grin.

“Both,” she admitted freely, to a general, appreciative snicker.

“Well, it’s a dumb crime, but as long as nobody got hurt you might have a shot at your review,” a girl she thought was called Monroe commented quietly from the next table over. 

“The last paintings in all of humanity,” Wells Jaha spoke up sadly, but fell silent when Monroe turned a frosty glare on him. He’d only been in the skybox for three days—the newest juvenile detainee besides herself. The way he carried himself, some of the things he said… Caroline got the impression they’d received the same information, and had the same idea. Of course, his motivation was fairly obvious; his massive crush on Clarke Griffin who’d been in solitary for the last six months had spurred him to ensure that when she was sent to the earth to be a human radiation canary, he’d be by her side.

‘Young love,’ she scoffed internally, then grimaced by how old she sounded. 157 was entirely too young to be so disparaging of youth or love.

Of course, she was on her way down because of love too—but as a vampire she at least had a significantly higher chance of survival than he did; the little human fool. 

“Back to your cells,” a guard shouted, hitting a button on the wall which sounded a nasty digital whistle that never failed to give Caroline a splitting headache. She stumbled to her feet, balance compromised until her head stopped echoing.

“Um, do you need help?” an unfamiliar voice asked hesitantly. She looked up blearily and met a completely new pair of brown eyes. She knew vaguely that she’d run across every single person on the Ark at one point or another—even Murphy, first name John she finally recalled—but this girl was entirely foreign to her.

“I’m good—thanks,” she finally responded, straightening up with a little difficulty. “Carrie Forbes,” she added, sticking a hand out. “I don’t think we’ve met.”

“O-Octavia,” she girl nearly squeaked, falteringly extending her hand but looking a bit confused by what she was supposed to do with it. Caroline shook it gently. “Octavia Blake.”

As it turned out, Octavia Blake was to be her roommate—at least, that was what was on the official docket. They’d barely made it into the room before two guards were following them, binders and syringes in hand. Caroline heard Octavia starting to hyperventilate, and as the men approached, demanding that they hold out their hands, she looked over at her.

“Octavia, they can’t kill you twice,” she reasoned quietly, not wanting to admit what she knew, but also wanting to help in some way. “Think about it—what more do you have to be afraid of?” the smaller girl looked her way, gulped, and squared her shoulders. 

“At the end of the day, no matter how this goes,” Caroline murmured as the men pulled the caps off the syringes, “you’ll be free.”

More so than she could possibly know.

Octavia passed out but Caroline was immune to whatever they were using and had to let herself go limp, eyes closed enough that the casual observer wouldn’t notice them cracked open, but still open enough that she could sort of see what was going on. They were carried along with the other drugged juvenile offenders down dark hallways by silent men, the whole operation a complete secret from the Ark’s residents.

She let them strap her into a seat, listened as they did the same to her neighbors, then as soon as the last guard departed, she opened her eyes, scanning the area. Every other passenger was still unconscious except for one—slightly older by the smell of him, with his heart pounding out a staccato sprint. A stowaway, apparently.

‘The plot thickens,’ was the only thing she had time to think before the clamps were releasing and the thrusters were firing and the rough movements had startled the other passengers into varying stages of wakefulness. A recording of Chancellor Jaha started to play on the view screens and Caroline cursed under her breath, wishing one of them had a picture of the planet they were now rapidly falling towards.

“Did you know this was going to happen?” Octavia whispered from beside her. Caroline glanced over and nodded subtly.

“Mm-hm,” she hummed quietly. “Like I said,” she breathed back with a hint of a smile, “one way or another—free.”

“Yeah, if we don’t burn to death from the radiation,” Octavia hissed back.

“We’ll see,” Caroline responded, remembering the Great Solar Radiation Debate 12 years ago, and the way neither side had been able to definitively prove themselves right. She’d always been rather in favor of the idea that space-born humans had a higher ability to metabolize radiation than their earth-dwelling ancestors, but she wasn’t a scientist, so she couldn’t really speak authoritatively on the subject.

Anyway, they were about to find out.

Notes:

Caroline and Klaus get back in touch a few years after she opens the school—what with Hope attending—and they become cordial, perhaps even flirtatious. However, Caroline is afraid to jump back in so quickly after becoming a widow. She feels like her immortal life is rushing into too much, too quickly. So she and Klaus don’t get serious, although when she takes a sabbatical every couple of years, sometimes he’ll meet her abroad. They have an on-again, off-again thing going on for a few decades, because she can’t commit and he won’t push her. 

In the year 2050, Caroline accepts a job to work on a space station for a few years, studying group psychology among the scientists working there. It seems like a fun adventure. 

While she’s up there, cut off from everyone she knows, she makes the decision to take The Plunge and tell Klaus when she gets back that she’s ready for a real relationship with him. Then ALIE launches the nuclear arsenal of mankind, and the world burns beneath her.

The Ark forms, and Caroline mourns. She mourns for her daughters, for Rick, and she believes for Klaus. (Remember, in TO Season 3, his sire line was cut off.) She thinks that he must’ve been destroyed—and if he lived, then he was burning in radiation and desiccating from the total lack of humans to feed on. She prefers to think he’s dead, when she imagines this.

97 years pass. It’s hard to reinvent yourself every decade or so, but compulsion is a wonderful thing, and there isn’t a scrap of vervain on the station, so no one can resist her. Unbeknownst to her, Aurora Blake had told stories about her old school friend Caroline, and then after she compelled everyone she knew on the ship, Bellamy Blake started to mention her as well, so Octavia, who she doesn’t know exists, thinks something seems a little off. 

Caroline always begins as young as she can get away with—usually 14 or 15—and she’s in Clarke’s class at school. Everyone thinks she’s extremely weird; honestly she lost the desire to get close to people after her a few generations of her friends died. The fact that there are no immortals left for her to get close to is a living nightmare, but she can’t turn anyone because she doesn’t have the means to make a daylight ring, and all the witches who ever lived are dead. 

She drinks or drugs herself into oblivion whenever she gets the opportunity; has been jailed and had to compel herself out of the death sentence three times so far. Everyone thinks she’s the weird, anti-social stoner kid. Aren’t junkies supposed to be loose and friendly? She realizes that the delinquents are going to be sent to the ground, so she sets fire to a priceless Earth painting so that she can join them. She figures that even if she burns up and dies, it might be worth it just to escape this lonely eternity.

The 100—including Caroline—land and survive. She keeps her secret under wraps, although it’s tricky as she has to dry out from everything she’s been on for the last century. She doesn’t reveal herself to anyone, and doesn’t interfere much in anyone’s affairs, but she does once single-handedly rescue someone from a horde of reapers.

She gets her neck broken during the final battle and is assumed dead, so the mountain men don’t take her.

Meanwhile, the Originals have survived the apocalypse; Hope and Freya had to go into a magical sleep for twenty years, but they got through it. The Originals rule a large portion of what was once the Western United States. Klaus is called the King of the West and is feared across the continent. He learns that a star fell to the east—bringing strange people with it. He sets out on a journey on a prayer that Caroline might have been on it.

When things start to go badly wrong, Caroline sneaks into the mountain, intending to help. However, the government was vaguely aware of vampires, and the residents have been consuming vervain in their water, for 100 years, so she can’t use compulsion. If she uses violence she could save everyone, but it would likely be at the cost of tons of collateral damage, and she’s pretty against harming children, especially after having lost a couple of her own.

When the King of the West arrives with soldiers and spears demanding to be taken to the Sky People immediately, at first everyone is afraid. But when he begins describing the woman he’s looking for, Octavia pipes up and says that’s Caroline he’s describing. Caroline had once drunkenly described Klaus to Octavia—including the detail of the moles on his neck, so she knows it’s the same guy. She says that Caroline was taken by the mountain men, and if he wants her back, he’ll have to go in and get her. Klaus offers (in a you-can’t-refuse sort of way) his aid to those attempting to get the prisoners out of the mountain.

Caroline has to come with a way that the children survive—it’s in her character to do so. When the prisoners come marching out, it’s not because the mountain releases them—it’s because she did something clever.

When Caroline sees Klaus, she immediately runs into his arms, bursts into tears and kisses him like—well, like she hadn’t seen him into a century. He absolutely doesn’t care that anyone’s watching and sweeps her off her feet, to everyone’s general shock.

[the-mykie-show]

Ya'll are responsible for the content you choose to consume.

I never make posts like this, and I'm not gonna call this person out directly because A. I'm here for fun and not bullshit, I don't want the drama. And B I don't want them to start harassing my friends in the TWD fandom again. But I keep seeing an individual in the TWD tag almost every day doing nothing but complaining about how much they hate the show, and how terrible it is, and how everyone in the fandom are idiots and pieces of shit. They have no respect for the people who dedicate a large portion of their lives to making the show and frequently trash talk the writers and cast, and not in a constructive criticism sort of way. And not only that, they trash talk the fandom and shit all over people creating art and fanfic in the fandom as well.

What I really don't understand is if this person hates TWD so much why are they still watching it? Not everyone is going to like the direction a show takes, and that's ok. Not everyone is going to like the writing of a show, and that's ok. TWD cannot please everyone, and while it's always sad when you fall out of love with a show you used to adore, it happens. And it isn't the end of the world, you can just stop watching the show and move on to spending time on one you enjoy more. That's part of what being a logical human being is. TWD writers have made many decisions I did not like (like killing off Jesus and Tara, killing Carl, and trying to write Negan as being truly evil and irredeemable in season 7 and some of 8) but I still love the show despite those flaws and I understand that the TWD writers are not obligated to please me personally. I may choose to talk about those things, but I would never obsessively post hate in the tag every day or be so cruel and disrespectful to people. Most rational people wouldn't.

The same goes for the fandom of a show. If you don't like a particular ship, don't read fanfic about that paring if you don't like a particular character blacklist the tag for that character, if someone is bothering you that's what the block button is for, if you don't like someone's writing that's what the back button is for. It is NEVER okay to bully, torment, or harass someone online just because you don't like thier content. Be an adult and leave that person's content.

The particular person I'm reffering to here hates Negan and the Negan fandom with a passion, that is okay, nobody has to like Negan, nobody has to be part of the Negan fandom. What is not okay is attacking people who do like Negan. This person has went as far as to send hate messages telling Negan fans they should kill themselves and they're a waste of oxygen. That behavior is not acceptable under any circumstances, ever. I am extremely anti censorship, but if I were in charge of Tumblr that would be an offense worthy of having your blog deleted. You never know what someone might be going through, or what could push them over the edge. Saying something like that to someone because you don't like a character they wrote fanfiction about is utterly ridiculous and just pathetic.

They even go as far as making things up that never happened in the show or the fandom, and have accused Jeffrey Dean Morgan of being racist, hating women, and saying misogynistic things. Which according to everything we know JDM is lovely person, who has never said or implied that he's misogynistic, and has spoken out against racism in many of his interviews for the movie Desierto. It maybe a little nuts, quite frankly to make up lies about a fictional character to further a narrative of why you hate them and feel it nessesary to post on Tumblr every day about how much you hate them, but it's a whole other thing to make up lies about a real person, with a real life, and a real career, and a real family. Those are extremely serious accusations, they should not be made lightly.

And to think all of this hatred and craziness could have been avoided if this person would just act like an adult and be responsible for the content they are consuming.

Nobody owes you anything when it comes to TV shows and content online, you have to be responsible for what content you consume. If you don't like something, if something triggers you, it's not the responsibility of the content creator to change their work, it's your responsibility as a consumer of that content to avoid your own triggers, and click the back button when you don't like something. It's easier than ever to avoid content you don't like or find triggering thanks to trigger warnings.

I have PTSD, and I have some triggers that come up regularly in every day life and in content online, but you don't see me losing my shit on anyone because they wrote something that triggers me. I understand my own responsibility to take care of myself and my mental health, and if I fail to do that it's on me. This is something a lot of people online need to figure out.

It's infuriating to see behavior like this, especially as someone who creates content online, and especially as a Negan content creator who has been the victim of some of this particular person's bullying.

Be responsible for the content you choose to consume, and be a mature adult, even though I know most of you are I just wanted to say this.

And if someone is encouraging suicide please report them and immediately block/mute them for everyone's safety.

[beardrabbles]

OBLIVIOUS

rating: t ( swearing )

words: 2,918

characters: tony stark ( iron man ), reader

notes: ( ao3 request; I was wondering if I could make a request? Maybe one where the reader is Tony's childhood friend and she hasn't realized he's been trying to ask her out for years now... :3c ) I’m a sucker for this trope, so here’s an attempt!

tags: none!

You sat there at your favorite table, legs crossed at the knees and foot bouncing with noticeable eagerness. Your chin was pressed to your palm while light fingertips drummed against your cheek. A pair of designer sunglasses tinted your view of the window to your right, turning everything on the street from a deep and dark violet to a soft, sunset pink. Around you, the smell of freshly brewed coffee and tea mingled into something pungent but comforting. It was warm inside that little cafe, a fact you appreciated now that the weather had taken a sudden, downward nose-dive into freezing temperatures.

All you needed now was something to drink, but a certain someone was taking his sweet time at the counter.

“Probably flirting with the barista.  .  .” You grumbled to yourself. There were many that could claim they knew Tony Stark, but there were so few that could claim that as loudly as you could. Although, you acknowledged that his flirting antics and womanizing ways were known world ‘round. No one, you especially, would be surprised to find him chatting up the pretty brunette scribbling his name on his coffee cup.

“Or,” began the billionaire in his signature smooth yet infuriating tone, “I’m making sure I get your order right.”

You lifted your head and took the cup offered to you, eyes narrowing behind the ombré lenses of the shades he had loaned you. “It’s not that difficult to remember, and you’ve never screwed it up before.”

“No, but why start now?” He threw you a cocksure smile and winked. Tony took the seat across from you, then motioned vaguely with his hands. You were in the middle of sip when you stopped and stared. What? “Sunglasses. Give.”

“Fine.” You pulled them from your face and handed them over. The were promptly fitted over his eyes, sat on the bridge of his nose for two seconds, then slid down just so he could peer at you over the rose-gold frames.

“Did’ja like ‘em?”

You shrugged and swallowed down more of your choice drink. “They’re alright. Pretty, but too pricey.”

“Just like me. Damn. What the hell am I supposed to get you as a gift once the holidays roll around, hmm? Do you like anything?” He wondered. You had to use every ounce of your control not to roll your eyes at his exaggeration. You liked plenty of things, but you had never once owned a piece of clothing or technology that cost more than two years worth of rent. It didn’t feel right, not to mention you had never been suited for Tony’s luxury lifestyle. No matter how far the two of you went back, no matter how close you might be, there was still a giant wall that separated the two of you. He was the genius philanthropist that put on shows of bravado and cockiness for his audience, and you were the normal one. Quiet, content with what you had yet still willing to work hard for the things you wanted.

Which was why, after thinking of something witty to say in return, you stopped yourself short. You, was what you wanted to say. You, was what you always thought. Liking Tony wasn’t easy, yet it seemed so simple at the same time. Dating and looking around had its perks, but there would never be another man like him. Smart, confident, experienced and still a little soft on the inside. You had fallen hard as a teenager, and the feelings had multiplied since then. His heroic side had done you in, and it didn’t help now that he would come to you when some of the lighter anxiety attacks struck. You reckoned that he didn’t really need you when he had a world of people he could turn to, but it meant so much that you were the one he needed when his own mind rebelled against him.

“You don’t have to get me anything, Tony.” You flicked your leg out and poked at his shin playfully with the toe of your shoe. A single, dark brow rose on his forehead, but you motioned for him to stop long before he started. “Seriously, you don’t have to. You’ve been my friend for now long?”

“Too long.” He jumped when you gave him an honest kick under the table. “Ow!”

“Ass.”

“( Y/N ), I don’t see what our many, many, many years together has to do with me getting you a gift.” He ignored the insult, seeing as how it was so often given to him by various people for a multitude of reasons.

“That’s exactly it! That is my gift, you dolt. You’ve been my friend, Tony, when no one else has. I know we don’t get to see each other often, but I love when it’s just the two of us. When you can be yourself and not worry about being Iron Man, or even being the other Tony Stark. This is all I need. It’s all I want. Besides,” you paused to shrug and hoped it would hide some of the color rising to your cheeks, “you’ve taken me here how many times? I don’t even remember telling you that this was my go-to spot.”

Tony, caught off guard by your sudden and emotional ramblings, had to clear his throat before he spoke.

“Thanks for the rousing speech there, but you know you can’t hide anything from me. Wasn’t all that hard to figure out where you go when you make posts about it online.” He smirked at the triple wash of red that touched your face.

“Oh, right.  .  . Still, thanks for taking me.”

“Don’t mention it. Felt as good a place to take you out on a date as any.” He spoke so casually, so effortlessly, that you nearly missed that word. You were in the middle of another gulp, ready to finish off half of your drink, when it clicked. You coughed, sputtering into your cup and losing your breath all at once.

He, on the other hand, simply watched you as confusion set in. He was in no rush to ask if you were alright, nor did he elaborate on his own. Tony needed prompting, as it was the only way he could tease you before he was forced to explain.

“Take me out on a what-now?”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Did I mumble? A date, ( Y/N ). You know, when two people spend time with each other because they’re attracted——”

“I know what I date is, Tony, and we’ve never been on one!” You dragged a napkin across your lips and your shirt, making sure none of your drink had stained.

“Gee, wonder why that is.  .  .” Brooded the hero.

You stopped your clean-up and glared. “What?”

“Hmm?” Tony blinked up at you innocently, but you knew better than to fall for that ruse.

“Don’t hmm me. It almost sounds like you were blaming me for something.” You balled up your napkin and tossed it onto the table. Fortunately for the both of you, the cafe was a small, hole-in-the-wall joint that few occupied. You had the corner to yourself, and you were glad for the fact seeing as how you planned on thoroughly grilling Tony.

“I am.” He said in a matter-of-fact tone.

“What am I being blamed for exactly?” Your irritation was bubbling but remain well under the surface of full-on temper. Tony sighed an exasperated sigh as he pushed his sunglasses up into his mess of brown hair.

“The fact that we haven’t gone on a single date the entire time we’ve known each other.” He stated flatly. “Which you made me point out has been a very long time.”

“Wh—What? How is that my fault? You’ve never asked me!” You squeaked indignantly. Your memory wasn’t shoddy, but you were sure you’d remember if he had asked you out on a date. You were also sure that if he had, it was exclusive to your many daydreams. But because you were sure that, for once, he was wrong, you felt oddly cocky. Sitting upright, spine straight and chin a little high, you huffed. “I’d know if you did. And you definitely never did.”

“My sixteenth birthday.” The statement was sudden and took you aback, that cockiness waning.

“What?”

“My sixteenth birthday, my first day at MIT, the day I graduated MIT, that night before I went to give that speech in Bern, uh.  .  .” He paused and snapped his fingers, as if that would ignite and make clear some foggy memory he was desperate to recall.

“Tony, what are you doing?”

“After I got back from Afghanistan, after the press conference. That one day when we were twelve, and my nanny thought she caught us in the middle of making out. You remember that? That’s not not every instance, and they’re not in order, but — I’ve asked, at least five times.”

You stammered, mouth opening and closing. He had bludgeoned you with feeble, paper-thin proof of his advances, and all you could do was gawk. Tony smiled. “You good? I’ll give you a minute.”

“You — You never asked. That wasn’t asking! I do remember that birthday party, but you didn’t ask me on a date. You said——”

“I said, ‘Let’s get out of here and grab something to eat.’ How is that not asking?” It was his turn to look offended now.

“It’s just not! Friends ask friends that all the time. And if I remember, we did go out to eat.  .  . with the rest of the people at the party. It’s not a date if there are more than fourteen people sittin’ at one diner.” You argued. Tony made to snap back, but stopped just as he pointed at you.

“Alright, you’ve got a point. Bad example. But I asked you to celebrate with me after I graduated, and no one else heard that.” He countered. You couldn’t deny that. The memory was a haze of color and sound, but there was one moment of that afternoon that had stuck with you.

There had been so many people gathered around him at the school grounds; friends, fellow students, colleagues, professors, potential co-workers, future employees and family, all of them distant. A hundred hands had clasped at him, squeezing his shoulders and frantically shaking his hand. You remembered being softer than that, giving his arms a harmless tug as you pulled him away from the sea of grey, red and black gowns. He needed the space, needed the time to process that he had done it. He knew he could without a speck of a doubt, but it still needed to sink in that he had graduated. He had been flushed and wild-eyed, hands grasping so tight at yours that it made your heart beat a mile a minute.

You remembered that feeling well because it was the first time you acknowledged that you cared for him. That ready-to-take-on-the-world look had you promising him a thousand times over that you’d always be there for him, that he could count on you no matter what. That promise still remained wholly intact, but you couldn’t remember him asking anything of you after that.

“Tony, all I remember is me makin’ the horrible mistake of telling you that you were stuck with me.”

“You’ve got the memory of a goldfish, my God.” Tony rubbed at his faintly wrinkled brow. “You dragged me away, we were standing near my parents’ car. You said something mushy like you always do. I leaned in.  .  .”

He reenacted the memory, leaning over the tiny table separating you. His elbow sat propped on the tabletop, the backs of his knuckles pressing at his cheek. Your cheeks flared hotly, eyes darting away from his. Without his sunglasses to mask them, you were liable to lose yourself in their boyish, mischievous glimmer.

You had looked away, but he continued to speak around his slowly spreading smile.

“You wouldn’t look at me back then, either. I got closer, and you let out this weirdly adorable giggle. I distinctly remember asking you out then. I told you that I was going to start working right away, and I wanted you to come with me. I told you I’d fly you anywhere, give you everything you wanted, as long as you stuck to that dumb promise you made me.” His expression softened despite your eyes being elsewhere.

Shifting, you gave your shoulders a little shrug.

“That still doesn’t count. Asking me to follow you around isn’t a date.” You murmured.

“There’s no pleasing you! And  people think I’m demanding.” He flung himself back in his seat, the corner of his lips pulling up into a lopsided frown. You finally turned your gaze back to him, fingers toying with the lid of your cup. His attention didn’t falter. It remained trained on you, the intensity behind it clenching at your chest.

The idea that he had tried once before baffled you. Tony Stark, the man that could have anyone he wanted, had attempted to date you in the past. You were both floored and giddy thinking about it, but you still couldn’t grasp that it was true.

“So you’ve been trying this whole time?” You wondered aloud.

“Mhmm. Honestly, I couldn’t tell if you were rejecting me or stringing me along. Kind of thought it was the latter option for a while there. Was kind of a turn-on, actually. You know, chasing after you. Thought you were playing me this whole time but it looks like you were just being your usual, oblivious self.” The sigh he emitted this time was softer and held a touch of sincere disappointment. He rubbed at the back of his neck and shifted his shoulders awkwardly, head hanging a fraction.

Suddenly, you felt a blanket of guilt settle over you. He wasn't joking. He wasn’t saying this to embarrass you. Okay, some of it was meant to embarrass you, but not all of it.

“You wanted to ask me out?” You felt like a broken record, but you had to be sure.

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. You’re younger than me, but I think we’re going to have to start getting you a hearing aid. I can hook you up. Make you a little something.” This time, the kick you delivered to his leg brought out a beaming grin.

“Still an ass.” You shot him a look and wrinkled your nose.

“I’ve been told that, yes. Been told that I have a great ass too.” He sniffed and adjusted in his seat. You shook your head and hid your wobbly smile behind your cup. One last drink, and you’d finished it. And with that last bit of warmth came a lightning-quick flash of courage.

“Ask me again.”

Tony lifted his head sharply, eyes finding yours again. He saw that you didn’t look away, but it only made him narrow his own eyes suspiciously.

“Why? What’s in it for me?”

“Tony.  .  .” You were about to take back your request when he grabbed your hand. His rough, calloused and marginally darker fingers wrapped around yours. Your heart skipped and started it’s usual tattoo against your ribcage. His thumb swept across your knuckles in a gentle gesture that was so rare from him.

“( Y/N ), would you do me the honor of.  .  . looking good next to me?”

“Wow. I should have expected that.” You snatched your hand away, but he was quick. He caught it, yanked it forward, then laid a chaste kiss against your fingers. You were frozen, stunned into utter speechlessness.

“I’m only gonna ask you once, so don’t screw it up. Will you go out on a date with me?” He spoke slowly and softly, razor-sharp goatee tickling your skin. Immediately, you felt an iron-like weight in your stomach. Years of keeping your feelings quiet hadn’t ruined your chances it seemed.

You gnawed at your lower lip and sucked in a sharp breath.

“Do I get to pick the place?” You asked. Tony tilted his head and hummed deeply, then nodded.

“I think you can handle that, as long as we end up back at my place by the end of the night.” He purred. Your shoulders slumped under the weight of his relentless, shameless pervertedness. You toed the line between being extremely fond of him and loving him, but nowhere did it say that you were required to indulge him in his lewd behavior.

“Not gonna happen.”

“That’s fine.” He nipped at your knuckles and growled before releasing your hand. “I’m flexible. Literally and figuratively. I can do it anywhere——”

“Oh, stop. Stop. Stooop.” The chair under you squealed as you pushed away from the table. Your drink was empty and your mind was frazzled, and you needed time to think about what had just happened. Tony, however, remained at his seat as you stormed towards the door.

“We never picked a date, snookums! Honey-bunches! Come on!” He shouted after you. Hand on the door, you paused. A moment of quiet consideration passed, and you finally peered to him again.

“Pick me up tomorrow at eight. Don’t wear anything fancy. If we’re gonna go on a proper date and I’m in charge of picking where we go, there won’t be tons of booze or parties. Got it?”

Tony groaned. “You’re going to be a boring date.”

“Good.” You smiled, and so did he. “Can’t wait.”

Tony, feeling that same iron-ball sensation that you had felt earlier, passed one last wink. “Me either.”

[mssjynx]

Listen, i get that you care for her and stuff and wanna protect her work, which is why i didnt @ her and didn't tag it, i get you are infuriated. My point was not to degrade her,my point is that if the fandom can show this much support, why cant they do it with others. ... and this was a vent for me because im tired of idolizing ... i did apologize gir the ppl who think im harsh and rude, but its a flaw i am working on, im only human ...

no, you listen to me girl. 

youre being ridiculous. i really hope your age is less than 18 because its embarrassing if youre an adult and youre acting this way. 

i hate to be the one to break it to you but the world isnt fair. you see artists in the real world? writers, artists, singers; not everyone gets the same amount of attention because not everyone has experience, not everyone has the right audience, and sometimes just because of bad timing and bad luck. this is the same situation critter and it sucks but thats just how the fuck it is. 

and dont go around saying people “idolise” crimson. just because you might be jealous of her attention, thats not what this is. yeah there are people who look up to her. fair too! shes one of my closest friends and i admire her, i look up to her as a friend and a writer bc she really is an incredible role model and inspiration. she isn’t “idolised” because shes “mainstream”. you dont get to brush off her achievements because you might not think she deserves them. 

she has this attention because she has worked for it. people like her writing. big fucking deal, its a good story. they dont “idolise” her, they look up to her, they admire her. it isnt some stupid gross culty thing that youre making it out to be its the same way a good tv show or a good book series will get online attention. 

you need to grow up. im sixteen. i know better than this. stop telling people what to do: its my blog, ill reblog whatever the fuck i want, ill support my friends, ill post the content i enjoy. main pairs, im sorry, but theyre popular for a reason? because people seriously like these relationships and pairings. you dont? well sorry. move fandoms then. or blacklist every fucking mainpair tag. or do whatever the fuck you want; i could not care less, but dont go out publicly shaming people who have been successful. its pathetic. and youre just doing it for attention. 

how about you be grateful for the people who do enjoy your rarepair content. if so many people can agree with your toxic ass posts, they can support you. but you going out and making people feel bad for liking what they like, taking a community that gives so many people so much safety support and kindness and making it toxic and hateful and shameful. be a creator. have opinions. but dont be a dick. 

and youre only human? youre working on your “flaw”? you think being harsh and rude is a flaw, youre aware of it, so if youre working on it how about you stop posting nasty shit on your blog shaming successful, kind people to try and get attention. 

[incarnateirony]

Omg

People need to stop using what they think are intellectual arguments to try to shade at shit while COMPLETELY MISUSING IT.

Example: There was a cross in the reunion episode!

Okay, great, let’s look at all the other uses of crosses. Oh look, episodes about faith, faith, faith, faith, faith, and faith. Right after not believing in anything, not backshadowing him with the cross, reuniting, and then having the cross, only to later confirm he now has faith.

Thing someone thinks is occam’s razor: It could mean anything any time and at any moment could mean something totally different without any regard to the base themes being employed literally every time. It could just mean resurrection like jesus!

What’s actually occam’s razor: The cross is tied to faith theme episodes. Like, I don’t know. The episode Faith.

Y’all stop. It’s like arguing from an angle of belligerently intentional ignorance.

And losing your patience with people who have no idea what they’re talking about downtalking at people who know what they’re talking about, after fucking up and making their own bed to begin with while they stomp around like a child and get other angry bitter people stomping with them to make a fuss -- getting annoyed, at any point, is in no way the sign of being the More Logical Person. Sometimes you’re so illogical you piss everybody around you that knows what’s up, off. See: Kelios. 

If your only victory point is staying calm while you piss off people that know better, you’re not smarter. You’re just annoying. You know how there’s that “annoying stupid Republican” idea floating around out there where they just can’t say anything without being annoying or infuriating? It started somewhere. And it’s not because Someone Lost To Them. It’s because ain’t nobody got the time for their Headass.

PS: It’s not “stuck up” to cite your actual career, education, or whatever else after already being driven up a wall by a bunch of bitter fansplaining from people who can’t grasp concepts like the above. If someone’s talking on an elementary school level to a person who works in an industry, the person will first gently tell them how it works, and when the child starts kicking and huffing and throwing insults, will call a parent, but if no parent’s available, they get “you’ll understand when you grow up” and that’s essentially what’s happening here.

Being intentionally fucking numbskulled about things because someone wants to be bitter and act like they understand a business, when they literally do not understand the business, and have shown they do not know the business, and continue to insist to yell down at people that know about the business, eventually makes people who know the business go “You do know I’ve done this for a living and you’re totally on crack, right?”

If all of the people with Actual Experience are saying a thing, maybe you should stop trying to Fansplain or Hobbysplain shit to them and actually consider adjusting your perspective instead of acting entitled all the time. 

Imagine trying to be a trainee in a workplace with this attitude.

Machinist: Okay, these are the lathe codes. Just use these, and avoid this one.

Trainee: What’ll happen if I enter this instead.

Machinist: Don’t, that jams up the machine for some reason.

Trainee: That doesn’t make any sense! You don’t know what you’re talking about.

Machinist: Look, kid. Just don’t. If anything goes wrong, hit this emergency stop button.

Trainee: I’ve read online that some of those buttons break the machine

Machinist: I... look. Hit emergency stop if anything goes wrong.

Trainee: Don’t tell me what to do.

Machinist: I been working here 30 years kid.

Trainee: That doesn’t matter, you’re just pulling the experience card, I’m skilled too.

Machinist: .....

[ 2 hours later Trainee punches in code he’s told not to and bores at a bad angle and burns out a multi-hundred-thousand-dollar machine because he didn’t use emergency stop, loses his job ]

Ask me how I know a story like this, while we’re at it.

Frankly, no. Alone, a degree doesn’t count for a whole lot. There’s an assload of educated idiots that manage a passing grade and then never see the profession in the real world. But when the people who have been out there, in the real world, dealing in an area, are telling you what they know, maybe you should give it some consideration. But when that degree is, say, a double degree lit professor, or that degree is someone in marketing that’s also run all levels of the actual industry for years on end, maybe they might know a little something about something that your basic lit course or bitterness aren’t taking into account.

Apologies to you, random blogger #89234 with an interest in a thing, but if the accumulated hobby information you’ve collected is outright in conflict (see machinist example) of How Things Actually Work, you cease being a supreme authority, and if you start acting like a little prick about it to people who actually know the ropes, well -- we can’t fire you from the internet (as appealing as that sounds at times), but we can deadass tell you “you have no idea what you’re talking about.” HOW DO U KNOW “BECAUSE I’VE DONE THIS FOR A LIVING.” HUrRruUrURRRr thAT donT meaN anyTHING

Yes, yes it does. It means I’ve been there, I’ve watched things be set up, be destroyed, transition, be debated over, been in the heart of it. It means I’ve watched friends lose their gigs and get sidelined and others take off so hard we barely maintain contact anymore. It means I’ve had to listen to marketing groups piss and moan over working titles because it’s not X enough for Y demographic (you want to know a pain in the ass? marketing test group runs for pagan mythology LGBT friendly content in a southern religious conservative region --and you know what, I can release that, because it’s mine and a discontinued project now; unlike, say, if one of us happened to land at a CW/SPN marketing test group somewhere and happened to have to sign an NDA about what they were polling about).

It means I watch when a TPTB family member posts in a private facebook group and it means I talk to the sound dev crews about how they make certain things -- not some one off room-mating or the occasional DM or whatever, because we can all talk actual shop and not fanbuzz; in fact, I’ve BEEN a roommate people tried to get stuff out of and they probably walked away thinking they were super in-the-know while there’s a thousand things I didn’t/couldn’t say but they’d never know; and it means I know which of my fandoms have shared PAs you guys never knew by name; it means they can actually break out about the kind of lenses and audio devices they used to perform a certain shot and the abstract methods they attained it and I can actually come back with a suggestion that doesn’t embarrass both of us to sit out there in the air; it means I know how to appeal to a shifting demographic and discuss the problems in limited circulation.

 It means that I know how the gears of a machine work and don’t just sit from the outside going “well maybe it’s-” no, it’s this, this, and that. No, you don’t get to pontificate what you think Actually Is In It when I literally know What Is In It. That isn’t how reality works. Well you can, but the reality of it is that no, your opinion or Hot Take(TM) aren’t equal. I don’t care if you’ve gone to teaparties with them, I really don’t. 

The quickest way to get someone from a creative team to disengage from actual content conversation and instead feeding you fluff is when you obviously have no idea of the machinations involved and are coming as a fan or hobbyist. You don’t think people can tell the difference. You think you sound like you’re exceptional. But when you open your mouth it takes about two seconds for us to know. 

I can turn a regional studio owner’s ear in the middle of a freaking dollar general by saying a few things; or a major music producer; why? Because we’ve been there. And we’ve been there long enough when y’all try to come up talking like you know shit.

Reality: You don’t. I don’t care how many clickbait articles someone has written. I literally have 0% care for how much public facing PR you’re fed. Or anything you think is non-public facing that they were willing to give You, the general You, a fandomite or hobbyist or yes, reporter. Hell, the latter list of LOL tends to think X rando directing assistant or whatever will have All The Secrets at a business level. Thing is, when I was any kind of PA or adjacent, I sure as hell didn’t delude myself into knowing everything going on above my head, just what I needed to know. Do it long enough and yes, you learn the business mechanics themselves but no one person beyond the upper executives is gonna know everything. Each knows what their job specification is.

Frankly, again I say, if you want to really know what’s going on, you check out what marketing is polling, because that’s what Big Business is putting in discussion, and really, that’s that. Then again, if you get into the groups, enjoy that NDA, and not being able to tell anybody about anything about it, and just waving your arms emphatically about an idea that people try to lol about.

Am I talking SPN? Am I talking something else I worked on or attended or know about? In the end, does that really matter? 

Not all topics come down specifically to experience and expertise within a subject, but some do, and if you’re out here acting like a twidiot over it, eventually, the people who work in it go, “look y’all bless your heart but we actually do this, so sit down?”

Nobody’s saying you CAN’T meta or lit crit without a degree or experience, but if you’re out there being a shady fuck towards people who literally know what they’re doing, with minimal to no actual substance to your shade, just convenience to those who want to believe you, then yes. The people who actually know what they’re doing > the people that don’t and are just ass speaking  or throwing “what ifs” or “it could bes” on hunches regardless of the follower counts attached.

A lot of people do good meta or spec without a degree or experience, because they just have a good reading and, I don’t know, understand what shit like Occam’s Razor actually means. It’s not mandatory. But if you’re about to start swinging on someone, son, just because you’re piloted by bitterness and aren’t even thinking to 1+1 this charade, you should probably check your narcissism points if you’re butting off at-random against people who do have experience and a fairly synchronized understanding.

Or at least more than piss-poor long-disjointed sub-par disembodied and fractal arguments that sum to nothing, their captain wank planet forces combined.

There’s a pillar or two of meta and Destiel meta fandom I avoid like the plague because I can read it’s pure fluff and completely uncorroborated with an actual basic application of Occam’s Razor. That doesn’t mean I spend my time shading them or dragging their crap out or picking fights with them or just being a bitch about it on my blog.

A few people could learn from that.

[pedropascalforpresident]

Where Changes Might Take Us

Summary: Flo Roberts joins the gang in their ventures, raising confusion and some change of heart with her righteousness.

Tags: spoilers, high honor online character, Arthur/online character, no TB, forced prostitution, slow burn

Tumblr tag: rdr2wcmtu

Chapter notes: Flo (Florence Roberts) is based on the protagonist of RDR2 online story and therefore her past of escaping prison and working with Mistress is mostly canon. This fanfic starts in chapter 2 of the story mode so the gang's camp is set at Horseshoe Overlook.

Chapter One

"I see right through you, mister Morgan, through your manly temperament and rude attitude." She laughs tightening the saddle. „I'd have to be blind and deaf otherwise!"

„What's that supposed to mean?" Arthur is right next to her, struggling to relax his arms so he shifts between crossing them over chest or resting against hips.

Florence lifts herself up on the horse. „You can't keep control of everything just 'cause you think your way is best way of handlin' business. I thought gangs have more than one outlaw, but here is you, doing everyone's dirty work for them."

He shakes his head at the ground aware he's to forget about a whole damn day of peace and quiet only to have her along on the road. The two leave the camp and he takes the lead through the forest, not exchanging a single word with the gang's newcomer who should've stayed at the camp.

Mid-morning they're halfway through the mist and Flo's persistent humming starts to infuriate Arthur. He sighs his faint voice cracking, but she only hums louder and clearly on purpose. He slows the horse down and takes his hat off once riding next to her, trying to look polite.

„How'd you end up with us, uh-" he snaps his fingers and looks away pretending he can't remember her name.

„You sayin' Hosea didn't tell you?" She chuckles feeling important. „That definitely explains your behavior. Ol' bastard really does know how to keep a secret."

„Secret?"

„It's a strange feeling, not knowing stuff, ain't it?" She teases; being excluded from something makes him tick and she knows it now.

„Miss Florence," he obstructs the narrow, gravel path upsetting her horse. „you don't need to know how much this gang means to me, but you should know that I'll do anything to protect them."

„I figured that much."

„There you go again! Again with the irony! Like you know something I don't!"

„Well I do-"

„Will it hurt to tell me then?!"

„It seemed like Hosea trusts you and I thought you'd know by now." She gently scratches her nose. „But if he ain't done it yet, you best not think I'll do it for him. 'Cause I won't. It ain't my place."

„Well maybe he forgot!" He urges, spreading his arms physically wanting the information, afraid of what she might know.

„I don't think so, not this." She glances behind them to make sure no one's coming. „You seem a good man but you outta have someone to look out for ya." Florence sighs and takes the lead through slippery pathway.

Arthur brainstorms before they reach a vast field and temperature rises along with the Sun. What information did she give Hosea that's of such delicate importance not even he's allowed to know?

„Hosea is like a father to me." he stubbornly admits. „Whatever he knows and refuses to share with me is probably dangerous for all of us."

„Exactly what I was sayin' earlier! You need to know and you need to deal with it because you know best how to, isn't it?"

„I get you ain't sayin' shit to me but if somethin' happens to him, I'll blame you."

„Of course you will." She frowns looking at her pocket watch. „So the Bell guy, the Blondie. How'd he end up with you?"

Arthur can't help but grin at the nickname he's definitely implementing in his vocabulary but it's not good enough to get her off the hook. „Oh so we're just gonna continue like nothin' happened huh?"

Florence ignores him and gallops with the horse off the path and towards a low hill with a view on the valley they are about to go through, making sure they don't stumble upon any trouble. Arthur shouts after her twice before seriously considering to leave on his own. Once she gets off her horse, he decides to approach.

„I met him once before, back while I was workin' with Sean." She frustratingly runs hand through her hair, reminiscing of the first time she met Micah. „He, uhm, assaulted this girl we saved from wrongful hanging. He's only alive 'cause Sean stopped me from shootin' his goddamn face off."

„So why are you coming along to his rescue?"

""Hosea told me to. He has his reasons and if he ain't sharing 'em with you, then I ain't either."

Arthur tilts his head at her. „Woman, I feel like you're only gonna get us in trouble."

„I won't. It'll all make sense to you and hopefully I won't be a bother after that." Flo smiles climbing back on the horse after a stretch, pulling out a cigarette.

„Hopefully." He responds, rubbing his chin as he follows her back to the path.

Ride to Strawberry takes a while but Flo shortens the trip by refusing to collect debt from a man mister Strauss mentioned, she'd rather give her own money before collecting or beating it out of a poor man. Arthur argues for a while but ultimately gives in, money is still money no matter where it comes from and somehow he ends up defining Florence as the biggest fool in the situation. She couldn't care less.

They arrive in the evening and leave their horses by the shop across the sheriff's. Arthur notices how folk at the front of the store look at Flo's jeans and pulls her back towards the hitching post between their horses, clutching two badges Hosea stole for them in his other hand. He's becoming paranoid.

„Maybe you should go and change." He recommends quickly looking away when she raises her eyebrows, surprised. „Last thing we need is attention."

„Don't tell me what to wear." Flo shakes her head at his wandering eyes.

She grabs a sheriff's badge from his hand and walks to the building, ignoring Arthur's persistent whispers to return. Grunting along, he picks up the pace after her. A sudden yawn overwhelms him but he contains his focus and pins the deputy badge on his leather jacket.

„Look out, they're taking over our jobs too!" deputy laughs at Flo who doesn't look at him as she approaches the sheriff.

Two men, younger one trying to impress his boss with sexist humor, and town sheriff share a common feeling but each handle and show it differently.

„Playin' dress up is fun, but I'd leave this one for the bedroom if I was you." Deputy gets serious as Arthur steps on the wooden stairs making the whole porch squeal under his weight. „Why are you here?"

„I believe you have imprisoned an outlaw here." Flo begins confidently pretending to have a deeper voice which makes Arthur chuckle.

„I might have one or two, yes." Sheriff squirms in his chair thoroughly observing both.

„My colleague and I are from, uh, Lemoyne. Been lookin' for Micah Bell all over the state. You wouldn't believe the bounty on his head!"

Arthur slowly blinks, regretting for what she said, painfully aware of what follows.

Sheriff's eyes widen and he leans forward with intrigue, fingers interlocked. "How much?"

„Why is that important?" Arthur interrupts before Flo gets them in deeper.

„Eight hundred dollars." Flo nods her head while sheriff and deputy exchange looks. „He's done some nasty things."

„It would seem so." sheriff gets up takong two steps closer to her." As much as I'd like to see him hang tomorrow for what he's done here... From one lawman to the other," he rests hands on his gun belt. „you know how stressful our line of duty is. Fools like him are ganging up on poor townsfolk of ours every other day."

Flo persistently nods, pressing her lips to keep a straight face but she desires to see him hang as well. They can only imagine what else he's done but hanging is probably not the worst punishment Micah deserves.

„Tell you what, law-woman, you give us that bounty and we give you the prisoner."

Flo definitely doesn't expect that kind of proposal. Glancing quickly at Arthur she sees him clutching his satchel, unaware of thirteen pathetic dollars hiding inside.

„We didn't bring the money with us but we can send it your way with a stagecoach once we're back."

„Listen missy, we ain't no idiots! I'm sure you won't send us a single dollar once you get back. In this land every county is for themselves, us included."

„How's you give us 'til tomorrow evening and we get you that bounty." Arthur interrupts the deputy standing shoulder to shoulder next to Flo, crossing arms on his chest to warm up palms between upper arms and his torso.

Men exchange looks and nod with acceptance of his offer. „We'll see you then."

Arthur jerks Flo's shoulder while turning and they walk away from men in silence. They reach their horses and while Flo processes what happened, Arthur grabs his bedroll and gives Salem two carrots to nibble.

„Where are we gonna get that money?" nervous lip biting is a nasty habbit she posesses.

„Unless you got eight hundred dollars on ya, we're gonna have to earn it." He snorts. „You had to say it! It had to be eight hundred! Why didn't you just round it up at thousand?!"

„I didn't think they'd ask for the money, they're lawmen!"

"There's a lotta things you don't know either but what's done is done. We need a place to rest." Arthur sees a welcoming center with vacant rooms sign displayed. „How much do you have?"

„About fiffty."

„We should get one room only. Gonna need all the cash we can get, thanks to your generosity."

„Don't forget some of that is for debt money you wanted to collect."

„I might have second thoughts on that."

[crappyfics]

Cherry Bomb [Part 2]

Rockstar!au / Chanyeol x Reader

Word count: 1 933

Pervious part / Masterlist

“What do you mean by ‘bandmates’? You’ve never told us about your acquaintance and we’ve been in the dark all this time!” Kyung was furiously yelling at me in the parking lot a few blocks away from my apartment building. There was no one with us, not even the rest of the band. They were all gone to their homes and even took Somi with them not to witness the discussion that was about to go down. 

“It is not like we’re friends anyway. We used to be in the same band a few years ago, but that was it.” I explain myself but he clearly didn’t think this was good enough explanation. 

“The way he talked to you tonight didn’t seem like you were just bandmates, Y/N!” He laughed unamused and brought his hand up to his hair pushing it back trying to calm down his nerves. It wasn’t the first time I saw him having a crisis but this time I did not exactly know the reason why he was freaking out. I could guess it was only because I was one of Park Chanyeol’s ‘old friends’, but it felt more like Kyung did not like it when the rockstar took me to the back door for a private conversation. 

If it was already complicated to explain how things were between Chanyeol and me in the past, it was even worst to try and explain what Kyung and I are in the present. I don’t know, it was some kind of weird open relationship that wasn’t ever serious or anything but we tended to ask for a commitment from each other. Our complicated relationship was only a stupid way of being together without ever letting our personal lives affect the band, which was our business. We never meant to go into deep, we never meant to fall for each other, but it was too late to go back when we always found ourselves tangled in the sheets and sharing dreams before going to bed. 

We liked to lie to ourselves too. We pretended that we were fine the way we were, that it really did not affect our band, that regardless of what would happen between us, we would remain professional. But Zack and Jin knew how close we were and how this crazy ass relationship was toxic. If only we assumed each other and tried to keep a balance without hiding and pretending to even our bandmates and friends that we were nothing, things would go much better. 

Me knowing Chanyeol and hiding it from everyone could be a parcel of our argument tonight, but to Kyung the big deal was when I left to speak to the big guy in a more private place because I used to be that close with him. 

“We only talked, Kyung.” 

“What about?” 

“I never hide anything from you, but this time please don’t ask me that.”

“And why not? We’ve been struggling for so long to have stupid gigs around town meanwhile all along you knew someone in the industry. You simply hid it from us that you had a passageway to the industry much easier than what we've been trying to do. I- I don’t get it! And now you can’t tell me what you and Park fucking Chanyeol were talking about?”

“It is strictly personal. I really hoped you could understand that.”

“No, I can’t, Y/N. I can’t! You wanna know why? Because now you’re not hiding things from the band, you are hiding from me and that doesn’t bother me, it infuriates me!”

“Chanyeol and I used to be friends. That’s all, Kyung! We barely still know each other. Telling you that I had a stupid garage band with him wouldn’t change a single thing because HE kicked me out of it!” his wide eyes now watched me surprised by the revelation. Who would ever think that me, a nobody, was once in a band with the biggest rock star in Asia and managed to get kicked out of the project? Oh well, nobody, not even Kyung saw that coming. “He would never help us get there, he would never do anything for me. He never did! Instead, he would steal our songs and make them his own!”

Pause.

It was cold outside but all the yelling heated our bodies. It felt like the thick coat of tension in the air was enough to warm us up. Kyung kept staring at me still agape not really knowing what to say. Me, on the other hand, I did know what I wanted and it was to go home. I couldn’t allow Chanyeol to destroy my career once again, especially now that he had nothing to do with it. I was tired from the concert and the fighting, I just wanted to stay alone, to go home and be by myself. I wasn’t mad at Kyung. I understood his point, or at least I tried. I just didn’t want to open up more than I’ve already done that night. It was enough for me to deal with the memory of Park Chanyeol alone. I didn’t wanna risk having other people reminding me of the guy at times. It was always better keeping it a secret.

“I wanna go home.”

I entered the car and Kyung followed me going to the driver’s seat and silently starting the car. The only sound we could hear was from the engines of the vehicle, we were both silent not really knowing how to approach each other at that point. I wanted to say I was fine and that we should forget about tonight, but I couldn’t forget the memory of Chanyeol’s tall figure towering me when we were both alone by the back door of the venue where the music was muffled and we could hear each other's strange feelings. 

Kyung kissed me goodnight before I left the car, but it wasn’t his affection I was craving tonight. I just hoped it all went away just like Chanyeol did and would do once again. 

I could hear the kettle on the stove dramatically announce that the water was boiling. I got up from the couch and ran to the kitchen to pour myself a generous mug of tea. It wasn’t any great medicine, no. But it sure would help me organize my thoughts better, maybe intercalate ideas between sips. I thought that it all would be weird once the band met again for rehearsal, but afraid of the truth, I stuck with the doubt. I avoided meeting the boys only limiting our conversations to quick and objective text messages.

The only one who caught me home with no difficulty was Somi. But knowing that I wasn’t on my 100%, she also avoided talking about my band's last gig. She did not really have a filter for social interactions, but she had a lot of respect for me and my personal space. Knowing that, I had no problem being at home with her because I knew she wouldn’t push my buttons. Not so soon. 

On cue, I saw my best friend come out of her room and join me at the kitchen table. 

“What’s up?”

“Been trying to finish my homework but I guess I’ll leave it for tomorrow.”

I only nod and shift on my chair giving her space to come and sit beside me. She poured herself some tea and silently we drank from our cups. School was Somi’s life. She woke up early in the morning every day to go to class and she came home late at night. She spent most of her day studying and if not, she would be at work trying to make enough to pay the bills. She would go out with her friends sometimes, but most of those times it was to watch my shows. But she was an ordinary girl. She had an ordinary life and that was amazing. Somi was very down to earth meanwhile I tried to believe I was as responsible as she was. I liked to believe that being a musician was my destiny, that I had a talent for no other thing in this world. But when your band is not very successful, and your talent is not well recognized by big labels, that’s when you have to question yourself and your life decisions. My tea was almost over but I still had no many thoughts I had to go through. I put my cup down. Maybe I should go back to school. Making music was not making much money, at least if I got a job as a waitress and went back to school I might have had a chance to succeed. 

"He asked me what I was doing,” I spoke up making Somi look up at me and try to understand the randomness of the conversation. She stared at me silently. “Chanyeol. He asked me what I was doing playing at a club.”

“What does that even mean?”

“He thinks it’s pathetic.” I moved to drink some more of my tea but I stopped midway remembering there was no more in the cup. I put it down once again. If a sigh could last 4 minutes, that was what Somi would hear from me in the kitchen. “Before that night, the last time I saw Chanyeol was in the garage of his parents’ house. It was after a show in a club. Back then he didn’t think it was pathetic.”

“Why did he even took you to the back door that night? To fucking mock you? What’s wrong with that guy?”

“I wish I knew.”

Ever since my last show, Cherry Bomb got quite popular around town. There were videos all over the internet, and on twitter, we gained so many followers. It had never happened after our show, but last time Zack checked, Byun Baekhyun, one of the Byun siblings, had posted a video of us on Instagram and things got crazy online. 

I wasn’t very fond of the virtual world but I could not deny its power. Zack was doing his best on updating all our social media accounts but things got a little weird and scandalous when rumors started popping out on our feed. Some comments on videos and photos were about “that girl and Chanyeol secretly talking in the back exit door of The Cave.” It was absurd. If they only knew Chanyeol was not being a flirt, these rumors wouldn't have spread so fast like that. 

As if I liked the martyr, when I heard from my bandmates that people were talking about me and the rockstar, I started accessing our accounts just for the sake of knowing what they were saying. Countless comments, countless lies, but also countless pictures taken of us talking so close to each other that from another angle it would look like something else. I was drowning in so much toxicity from the abusive posts, but I could not help myself from seeing them. It was all pretty stupid in the beginning until thousands of notification started appearing on our account.

@Park_CY Old friends reuniting. Fun times!

"OLD FRIENDS!” He literally said that! He called ourselves old friends for the entire internet to see. This was NOT what Park Chanyeol would ever tweet. ‘Old friends’ was not what we seemed to be that night. He called me pathetic, he mocked me, he was not friendly at all. Something was up and I had to find out as soon as possible before it was too late to protect my bandmates. 

Bridge chapter