#// UNO REVERSE CARD BITCH!!! SUFFER!!!!!

[xxwithlovefromfaexx]

YOU and HIM

I’m out here bringing my shooters for mc, fuck adam

I actually wrote this before looking back at the YOU and HIM fandom before I posted this and WHOO this one is like...the even worse end for that angst ask that was sent into the vn page imo. This is not a peace offering to adam sjkdbfebfk

Also I’m sorry if Adam seems sort of ooc??? I wrote this purely from a YOU perspective, so if it’s not quite in canon its more bc its how YOU percieve him (at least in this fic, and for the purposes of this one)

WARNINGS: violence, physical abuse (mainly threat of, but you are holding him down here), sadism, guilt, kinda reads like a revenge plot villian arc ngl??? DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT!!

Finally, you held the power. After humiliating yourself to him, servicing the man that held your mind captive for so long.

After giving your sanity to the man that took you from your normal life, stole away your freedom, tore a hole through your regular life just to carve himself into it, you could finally be free.

You could taste it on your lips. It felt liberating, and part of you wished to leave him at merely that. Just to walk out of his life in an instant, as fast as he’d gripped onto you and pulled you into his storm.

But you knew you wouldn't be fully satisfied with that. How could you?

That freedom felt more than liberating, to you. It was intoxicating. And for the amount of pain that he had rattled into your numb bones, this was a feast to your starving eyes. The look of disbelief and shock in his eyes sent you spiraling. You were far from finished. Far, far from satisfied. You wanted more of him.

You wanted his fear to ripple through your body and swarm your insides, coating you in a liquid pleasure. His tears would be a lovely touch, you thought to yourself as you licked your lips at the thought.

You wanted to see him break, just as he'd broken you. You wanted to bridle him and train him just to break him all over again, for daring to think he'd figured you out. Just like he did to you.

“I could forgive you, sure. But, I don’t know if I want to give you that side of me, y’know?” You could hear the smile creeping into your words as you dangled the words so carelessly in front of his calculating eyes. 

Nothing could stop the grin forming on your face now, splitting into the sides of your cheeks. You could tell why he so loved, adored, putting your through this pain.

This feeling...above him now, holding the power he would hold so closely to your throat. The otherwise silent and quick way out- one that he had teased and prodded at you for weeks, months, however long this cat and mouse game had gone on for. 

You had felt so helpless, scrambling for an exit, useless to whatever he had planned for you around the corner. And within it all, you had truly felt yourself give up. You had all but left your body in those moments. It was the only way you could've survived it, in hindsight.

Somehow, your body persisted. It had held strong for that one precious moment, where he finally let his guard down, enough for you to take control. 

For you to allow your mind to once again be present. 

To piece yourself together after every time he broke you. 

Enough for the glint in his eyes to glean with hints of a weakness, that weakness that he would silently admit to you within your most intimate hell. 

That one precious moment that you finally, finally grasped in the palm of your hand. A moment of control.

This feeling, it was...exhilarating. Overwhelming. Consuming. Your body was humming with energy, and you needed to expel it from you somehow.

“You...please...” the soft wobble in his tone was something you shouldn’t have picked up on, had you not been so close to him to hear it. And you wished you didn’t.

You should have been prepared for him to unearth some part of empathy you held for him in you. 

The look of shock had waivered into a look of...regret? As if he should’ve never plunged that knife into you long ago. You should have cackled at that. The two of you were truly past that by now.

It really wasn’t like you to be this...hateful. Resentful. You always tried to understand, regardless of the pain somebody put you through. Because even thought it would never take the pain away, it would make it a far easier burden to bear. Right?

That’s what you had told yourself. Time and time again. From traumatic experience to the painful memories of your past...maybe this was your breaking point.

If he was regretful, if he held shame on the pain and fear he’d caused to you ever since that fateful day...so be it. You wanted to cherish at least some part of that for yourself.

After all, it was him who made you this way. He'd thrust you into this. He thrust you into...this decision...into the actions you’d made, into the person you had become but could barely recognize. He did that to you.

Didn’t he?

No, you realized.

He wasn't capable of that. 

This was a person that you'd let him push you into. 

It was necessary, you'd admitted to yourself. There was no way your weakened mind could handle all of this before his incessant meddling. The high that you were on now was only something you'd achieved through letting yourself break to his will.

So you laughed. You let loose, embracing the shrill, howling laughter that echoed through you, that shook your body to your core. You could feel the vibrations it sent through his body. 

You pushed yourself deeper into his skin, deep enough to bruise. You pushed yourself down onto his elbows, and he let out a grunt in pain. You tutted at the sound, as let your voice drop to nothing but a sweet whisper in his ear.

“Maybe things could have been a whole lot different. If you never thought to put at knife into me, for one,” The growl that followed through with your words made him flinch at the sound. You smiled.

“If you’d never thought to hunt me down to the ends of my sanity. Maybe I’d even try to understand you. To love you,” Your eye twitched as you leaned down close to his, so close you could feel his shallow breath on your skin.

“I suppose I can forgive you. After all, you've given me nothing but time already. Don't worry, darling. I've been through your hell. Now, I think it's time I showed you mine,” You let out a dry chuckle, and sat back for a moment with a deep inhale.

That feeling of power was overtaking your senses, and your legs pushed him into a vice like grip. You couldn't get too cocky now; it would be embarrassing if he knocked you off of him when you were only just getting started here. You knew too well that even this was a vulnerable state to be in.  

You could get lost in it-just like he had, not even moments before.

Back when the tables were turned, when it was you fighting for your life and everything that you held dear seemed to be escaping your grasp like falling sand in your fingertips.

This time you weren't helpless to Adam’s unforeseen desires. Now it was you who held everything. And you didn't want to lose that. You wouldn't fall for the same tricks you played on him.

So where should you hurt him first?

[behemothbash-a]

@maxsmite​ said: 🐱😭 die

prompt ☆ not accepting (🐱 Hold my muse after a nightmare & 😭 Hold my muse when they are crying)

Hop loves sleepovers! Sure, he only ever had them with Gloria and Victor, but they were a blast! Besides, he was about to add his boyfriend to the list of people he’s had a sleepover with. Bede had suggested he take the couch while Hop took the bed, but really, what’s the point if you’re not going to be in the same room? So after a bit of pleading and Yamper eyes, he’d managed to convince the Gym Leader to share a bed with him (he was banned from telling Lee though, for whatever reason). He had talked Bede’s ear off the whole night, giggling and joking and telling stories until he realized he was the only one awake. Hop found himself nodding off not long after his boyfriend was out for the count.

And then Lee commands Charizard to protect him, but the Pokemon isn’t fast enough. Light bursts from the Pokeball and Eternatus escapes, sending out a wave of energy and poison as it rises high in the air. What’s left of the walls around him crumble, Lee is thrown across the clearing, his rivals are practically holding onto him for dear life— no, they are holding onto him for dear life, Eternatus is taking them away, its taking Lee away, there’s so much poison in the air and he’s struggling to breathe—

And he’s crying next to Bede in his bed, gasping and shuddering. He tries to quiet himself, tries to force the image of terrified faces and unmoving bodies from his mind, tries to focus on the sound of Bede’s voice...

… Bede’s voice?

He’s brought to his boyfriend’s chest, Bede holding him close with gentle assurances and quiet murmurs. Hop wraps his arms around the other, desperate. “‘M sorry,” he sobs, “‘m sorry, ‘m sorry, ‘m sorry...”

He ruined the sleepover.

[rawmeknockout]

So it's movie night on the lost light and there is a scene with hot babe giving a car a car wash ,bikini and all. Who's quietly suffering and who's brave enough to actually ask the resident human for a "demonstration of that human custom" I feel like tailgate would be pretty excited about the idea lol thank you💕💕

Rodimus

Please, please, please for the love of Primus wash him. Even think about washing him. Just give him the time of day to even think about pressing your wet, soft body up against his alt form and he'll never have to watch porn ever again.

Swerve

He's familiar with the custom, so he's already been thinking about it for eons. It's the fact that there's a human RIGHT HERE that could fulfill the fantasy that makes him flush and consider running out of his own bar. He can't ever muster up the courage to ask, even if you two were dating. My man is suffering.

Whirl

If it were up to Whirl, the scene would have some explosions and a helicopter and at least five more bitches. He immediately jumps to needling you for a wash, put your boobs into it too, but if you actually reciprocate he will get shy. Look, all that stuff he says and the way he acts is just for show. The fact you would look him in the eye and say sure never seemed like a possibility. Uno reverse card.

Ultra Magnus

Okay, he's generally the type to insist that movies get fast forwarded through the 'obscene' bits, so it's no surprise he's trying to get Rewind to skip the car wash scene. It just so happens that he's flushed from toe to tip and can't look at anyone. He's not really imagining himself in the situation, it's more playing on his voyeurism kink which makes him uncomfortable.

Tailgate

He's all about this! Tiny humans? All over him and washing him down? It's like getting a sexy, soft massage. He's already got a thing for humans because they're so small, but they just go around washing cars like that??? It's something out of a banned Cybertronian porno. He's a dirty lil guy. Will, of course, be the actual first one to ask (Whirl doesn't count).

Cyclonus

He already knows what Tailgate is thinking and, although he won't show it, that nearly makes his engine purr and his cooling fans whir to life. He won't show it. He's not some new spark who flinches at the first sign of sex appeal. Like many on the Lost Light, he will be furiously beating his meat to this later.

[fuck-you-too-world]

Ya, that post... The link above... Is driving me insane!

I 100% blame it on you (no not really, but I need to be dramatic so please let me) for all those sleepless night for few days cus the bunnies won't leave me and my brain kept conjuring more twist and world building and more promt or ideas kept coming making this one small crack idea into a full blown AU!!!

I hate this Phandoms for dragging me even deeper down the rabbit hole...

No, no i didn't. It's a lie. I love you guys so much.

But all the pain and suffering this cause me until I put this together is unbearable!

I demand head Pat and hugs!!!

...

AND ICE CREAM!

UGH... So many ideas from different blog and prompt and stories...

ALL MASHED UP INTO THIS!!!

Lord Mr. Fool have mercy!

It all start with the card...

The. Fucking. Card. Of. Free. Jail. One.

All I need is just one look at that card and my mind goes into the next card...

Uno Reverse card

----------

Walker : PHANTOM! I WILL CATCH YOU AND YOU WON'T ESCAPE ME THIS TIME!!!

Danny : umh, I dunno man... *reach down to his hidden pocket that he stitched last time, slowly pulling out something*

Walker : *standing right in front of Danny with a triumph grin* Time to go to jail criminal.

Danny : Nah, I don't think I will *slowly his face morph into a shit eating grin* ... But you are Walker *pull the uno reverse card in front of Walker*

Walker : wha-

Danny : uno reverse bitch!

Walker : NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Danny : GUESS WHO GOT TO BE STUCK BEHIND THE BARS NOW!!! DEFINITELY NOT ME!!! *cackles with glee*

Walker walks in to the cell that he has prepare for Phantom and is stuck in there cuz Danny pull the reverse card and now he's stuck in his own prison by his own game.

.

.

.

.

Then

Shits

Goes

fUckIng

dOwN

hArD

It was a fleeting thought before it escalated into a full blown AU that I didn't plan to happen but they happen anyway. Add with all the ideas and plot bunnies I read through this rabbit hole in tumblr... I an up having an AU...

No one is taking this baby from me and they're now my canon now!!!

*proceed to run away with the AU clutched protectively in my arms*

Did I said what this AU turn into???

Ah, not yet... Well, you see...

This is a Damian twins AU where Danny died as a babe cuz he's kinda a still born? Like born premature and is smaller, weaker, sickly, and all the things that Damian is the superior twin. Which cause Ra's to find him useless, as twisted as it maybe for her own way and selfishness Talia beg Ra's to let her keep her younger child.

Danny died when he was 2 yo in a sparring training.

Damian knows he has a younger twin but only remember his name, Danyal, as well as his hyperfixation on space. Other than that, he only knows mostly from stories his grandfather told him (all bad and negatif on how Danyal is a disgrace for being so weak) and his mother (about all the things he couldn't really remember at younger age and how close they were, especially about how he always take care of his brother), Damian always pretend like he didn't care about his dead weak brother when in all honesty, he work hard and train harder to please his mother just so he could hear more stories about his brother.

Talia tried to revive Danyal by dipping him inside of Lazarus Pit, however, he never come back up. He disappear just like that, without any trace leaving Talia devastated but also hopeful that her child might survive somewhere - Ra's wasn't that happy since the failure's disappearance is a variable he didn't like to have especially if the boy lived - Talia work hard to try to find her second child.

Lazarus Pit has its own portal down on the base of the Pit and since Danny as a baby has been in a finicky status of being alive and dead and live close to the pit, he disappear into the portal. Lazarus Pit is honestly just a leak of ectoplasm - corrupted ectoplasm mind you that the ghosts won't even come close or poke with a thousand foot pole even if they don't need to breathe - end up in infinite realm before a natural portal open up and he got sucked into it where he was thrown out to Amity Part, Illinois. The hotspot place full of ectoplasm, he was found unconscious by the Fentons couple and they brought him home where they proceed to adopt him when he woke up without any memories.

That's how Daniel Fenton come to exist, especially with how small he is the townsfolk mistook him as a babe and easily think he's been there his whole life so any thought of him being adopted was just... Never cross their mind especially with his color palette close to Jack's.

But of course, his life wasn't that easy even after he leave the league without knowing it. The adult Fentons are not the best parents, Danny basically was raised by Jazz - his two years older, older sister - since Jazz could cook which was at age 6 (just making pancakes that she learns from the old lady down town, an easy recipe but hard work for the small child) it was edible and she got better as time goes.

Jack and Maddie were so focused on their portal to the so called Ghost Zone they basically didn't have any children (they're not involved in either of the kid's life) at this point but they always makes Danny clean up their mess when they go out hunting. They finish building the portal when Danny was 13 and Jazz was 15, Danny wasn't happy about being in the lab again but he could try for his parents (jazz wa she same). But of course the portal didn't work, distraught both adult left their children unsupervised without any lab safety alone in the lab.

Danny was mad, he was annoyed, angry, livid even.

All those time wasted, for what? For the portal to not working?!

All those years living in a house without love

Without acknowledgement

Without care

Where he's just cleaning their mess

Where he was never looked

Where he was nothing but a ghost to them

Jazz was there.

She cares

She loves him

Heck! She's basically the adult in the household but she's also a child and she should- no SHE FUCKING DESERVE TO BE TREATED LIKE A CHILD, LOVED, CARED, ABLE TO LIVE HER CHILDHOOD! BUT NO! THE ADULTS WHO CALLED THEMSELVES THEIR PARENTS ARE COMPLETELY INCOMPETENT AND IRRESPONSIBLE!!!

No.

He's dismantling that stupid portal since its not working anyway.

How?

Well, he's growing up and living in a lab at this point with how many times he has to clean up Jack and Maddie's mess while also makes sure nothing explodes in his face.

He has to survive in this house when his sister is not at home. So he adapt and learn how to survive, he knows how to built and programming since he's the one who set their data and research in the lab. Being the cleaning boy gives him a lot of advantage, so he knows what he's doing.

He's going to make sure the portal would never work.

After all, knowing his parents? They'll get back up again start finding what is wrong with portal then fix it and BAM. The portal would be open OR they would kill everyone within vicinity with a large explosion.

.

.

But knowing Danny's luck?

You could guess what happen with that simple plan.

Good thing he has Jazz there to help him huh?

-

-

-

-

OH MY SWEET ICE TEA THAT WAS INTENSE!!! Fuh... Welp! That is just the rough sketch of the story :D

I call this Reverse AU

...

Just for the crack of uno reverse card purpose and nothing else :)

(I just don't know what to call it and honestly, I kinda lake the name so just go with it)

Though I'm not that good of a writer and English is kinda not my first language sooooo... Ignore da grammar errors lol.

What do you guys think?

Do heed thy warning I gave you... This here barely scrapt the ice berg that I have create in the late night of my sleepless journey.

Bye!

[eclipixels]

Assasian Y/n finds out Kaneki has been kidnapped by Jason and goes to pull an uno reverse card on him

TW: gore, torture

__________________________________

"I'm sorry Y/n.. I think you're too late." Touka looked down.

We are currently hiding in Yamori's "Hobby" room with an unconscious Kaneki passed out on the chair. I could feel the anger in me burn. My face down to my toes, it felt like I was suffering in hell. The combination of everything happening was too much. Too much, everything has been too much and then for Touka to say that? That was the last thing I needed to be set off.

I didn't think too recklessly, I had a plan from the start. I took one more look at Touka and she knew exactly what I meant by looking at my face.

I pulled out my tranquilizer that had a serum in it which once entered into the blood-stream takes 30 seconds before taking effect and causing the victim to fall unconscious for 2 hours. On Ghouls, it only works for 1 hour.

I wasn't too far away from him. I propped my legs and looked into my scope, aiming directly into his neck. As soon as I pulled the trigger I ran, anxious not to be found by him.

He looked behind him, trying to find the cause but he fell to the ground. I smiled, stepping over his unconscious body.

"Ken!" I exclaimed, kissing his forehead, his breath hitched and my face calmed a little bit knowing he's still breathing.

"What did that thing do to you, he didn't hurt you too badly, did he?" Tears welmed up in my eyes, falling to the ground. I dropped to my knees

His head rolled to the side and slowly he opened an eye and then the other. Then they completely widened, overjoyed to see help, to see me.

"Y/n! You're here! Yes yes, I'm ok! You need to go Y/n! He'll be back any second-" I cut him off by stepping to the side and showing Yamori on the ground.

"I-is he dead!" Kaneki's eyes grew big.

"Not yet. Now I don't have much time so listen carefully, ok? Touka is going to take you somewhere safe and help you with your wounds." I said breaking the chains off of him with a lock cutter.

"Wait, what about you!" He furrowed his brows.

"Don't worry, I'll be home just in time for bed, you can count on it. Now go, I love you Kaneki!" I said hugging him tightly before sending him off with Touka.

Just like that, they were gone. A warm feeling filled my heart knowing my love was safe.

I sighed before looking down at the piece of shit in front of my feet. This is going to be fun.

I lifted it up onto the chair and confined even harsher chains against its flesh. I injected the thing with another serum which represses the RC cells from working, meaning Yamori is defenseless.

I finally have the son of a bitch at my mercy.

-

The sound of rustling caught my attention and I smiled, immediately rushing over to the source of the sound.

"What is this? What do you think you're doing?" He furrowing his brows.

"You tried to take him away from me." I propped my elbows on the table, faking a dramatic sad expression.

"I don't even know who you are" He said.

"You don't? Aw, welp. Then this is the perfect opportunity for us to get to know each other." I said fixing on my goggles and picking up a hammer.

"Here's an ice breaker.." I raised the hammer above his feet and slammed the hammer against it. He screamed, confused as to why he can't use his Kagune.

"What did you do to me!" He yelled outraged.

"YOU'RE STUPID AS FUCK IF YOU THINK I'M GOING TO TELL YOU!" I laughed hysterically.

"Just sit back and don't relax." I giggled. Tool after tool, insect after insect, scream after scream. I had used almost everything in here on him, dragging it slowly, making sure he's sober enough to feel it all. The immediate death machines were off limit though, I want him to die a slow painful death.

"ISN'T THIS WHAT YOU WANTED TO DO TO HIM, YAMORI! DON'T YOU THINK THIS IS ONLY FAIR!" I shouted, looking at the masterpiece of revenge I created.

His screams turned into a mix of small bits of laughter, only stopping to cough up some blood, the result of his punctured lungs.

"I'm actually dying. Is it? This is what I've always deserved! I knew it from the beginning. I just didn't think it'd happen so soon." A mix of tears and blood dripped down his face.

"You kidnapped the wrong person that day, Yakumo Oomori." I sat on top of the table, resting.

"I'm a monster, what did you expect." He spit out a tooth from his bloody mutilated mouth.

"Ah, you're self aware at least." I looked at my nails.

"I hope you suffer even more in your afterlife." I spit on him.

I frowned at his ugly ass face making weird facial expressions and moving around violently in his chair.

"I'm dying. Haha..hahaha... HAHAHHAHAHHAH! I'm dying" He coughed.

Laughter soon turned into gasps and gasps soon turned into wheezing.

"I don't care for what you have to say, whether you're remorseful or not for what you've done..." I hopped off the table as he started gasping for air more and more, making my way over to his dying body.

"Just remember the name Y/n L/n was the one who took your life." I watched as the life extinguished from his eyes, finally going still.

[g4yass]

I hate to completely ruin my vibey aesthetic blog like this, but I seriously need help and if anyone could share this it would mean a lot to me.

Heavy TW for everything.

I've finally decided to erase my abusive family from my life and I won't be receiving any more financial help from them (what little they gave me, anyway).

I made the stupid decision of visiting them a few weeks and it has been terribile. My mom is verbally abusive as well and my father too. The only reason my mom is not hitting me anymore is because I've already threatened to call the police and record what she says, and since she's a coward all she does is belittle me and threaten me.

My parents (especially my mom) have been abusive in every way possible since I was a kid, and now they repeatedly try to gaslight me saying that I'm a narcissistic liar, that I'm an ungrateful bitch.

They have never showed any type of love or affection, even when I was little - my father thinks taking me out to play with other kids and giving me food was "so much" and "treating me like a princess". My mother has punched and kicked me, belittled me, threatened me, manipulated me for years and even kicked me out once before trying to coerce me to come back to her because I had to "think of your family and your grandmother".

She's also homophobic and part of her abuse towards me is because I'm a GNC lesbian: she constantly forced me to shave, even putting me down and hitting me while shaving my legs; I had no freedom of choice, had to secretly shop for clothes I liked and the few times she found out she cut my clothes with a scissor.

She thinks I'm a man, that I'm dirty and ungrateful, that at this point "I should just transition and live as a man". Just because I'm not what she wants me to be.

My dad touched my intimate parts when I was a kid repeatedly and so did my grandfather (his father) - they sexually abused me when I was barely 5 and it's the first time I say this out loud, but after one year of therapy I finally gathered the courage to say this. Not to mention that my father is incredibly violent, controlling and cheated on my mother multiple times because she wasn't "enough of a wife" for him.

I'm the result of a loveless marriage where my mother tried to undo all her failures and transfer her shitty dreams in me, and when I wasn't what she wanted, I was worth nothing but abuse and violence.

They're now dealing with the consequences of their abusive and terrible behaviour and they're trying to get away by saying that I lie, that I make everything up, that I'm a manipulator and a narcissist and that I "put up a persona with other people" and manipulate them in thinking they're evil - which they are. They try to uno reverse card every fucking thing they did by saying that I was actually the abusive one with them, when in reality I have trauma, depression and anxiety bc of them - and probably suffer from CPTSD (I'm being diagnosed by my psychiatrist).

This isn't even half of what these pieces of shit have done to my life, but unpacking all the trauma is honestly too much and triggering.

I'm done with this, being near them only makes me suicidal and completely reverts all the changes I've been trying to make within myself with therapy.

Unfortunately I need money to pay my uni apartment and for resources like public transportation and food - in the meantime I will look for a job, any job, although the economic situation in Italy is terrible and jobs are almost impossible to find.

I'm sorry I can't give any more proof - there's hundreds of stories like mine, and many of us here are poor and hardly get by. I feel terrible for having to ask for money and I don't want to force anyone or guilt anyone into donating - just sharing would be enough to help.

[lenasai]

this week in blaseball: season 20

SURPRISE BITCH WE GET LATE NIGHT LORE NOW

alaskans claimed to be immortal, died anyway

the firefighters and sunbeams continued their war over whether the sun is good or bad

kennedy loser got haunted by ghosts that don't exist (aka KLoNGs: Kennedy Loser's New Ghosts. there are a lot of them, like at least 69 klongs)

the black hole is Rude now

the moist talkers activated moderation and shamed themselves

mindy salad charmed comfort septemberish, who pulled out a reverse uno card and mind tricked their way to first base

imagine getting carcinized. this message brought to you by gerund pantheocide.

goodwin replica from last season got faxed in

max came back from elsewhere long enough to get maximum blaseball and get swept AGAIN

get in losers, we're loring the alaskan immortals and maybe also the klongs

ARE WE DOING FLOOTBALL NOW?? ON TOP OF BLASKETBALL???

a bunch of people fluted over to the alaskan immortals just because they could and then got stuck there because you can't change teams after earlsiesta

max got a full peanut allergy cure and got xer name just unscattered enough to show up in-game as "wyatt mason -" for a few games. show that to someone who stopped playing during the discipline era and watch them lose it.

"Jesús Koc- placed The Fifth Base in The Oven."

ivy got to be a detective for a couple of games

a bunch of players got their allergies cured after suffering allergic reactions

riley firewall came back from elsewhere and then immediately went back to flip a teammate negative

underhanded and underachiever canceled each other out multiple times to ultimately result in three runs being scored

sharks are back. same as it ever was...

replicas ate a bunch of items from a community chest drop

the garages had early to the party and late to the party for one game. this is what Performance looks like.

kelvin drumsolo got cured of their peanut allergy while stuck inside a peanut

failing to steal an item causes players to run away to wlaffle house

birds got scared out of stadiums that don't have birds (unbirds?)

alejandro leaf got incinerated but because they're roamin' everyone was kind of just like "eh, they'll be back"

stolen ring world tour

shark vs. chark fight at the elsewhere wlaffle house parking lot

georgias unshamed themselves into party time

mooney doctor ii had their fireproof item repaired just in time to kill an ump

magic were in the underbracket but wildcarded into the overbracket

the garages got kicked out of their own party on discord because they were in the underbracket

theo king ate his ring

winnie hess put the mechs in maintenance mode and threw the series

pog vs. cringe overbracket finals (based on sibr's terminology for the two ends of the x-axis on the depth chart)

underhanded pitcher duel caused the spies and mechs to both get unruns

the sim hates math

love unwins!

YOU ARE EMBLEM WARHORSE

[anunvalidcritic]

LOKI: S1-EP1

(DISCLAIMER: MY OPINION IS MY OWN AND CAN BE DEEMED INVALID TO THOSE WHO DON’T CARE FOR IT.)

No introduction needed!

                                       GLORIOUS PURPOSE

Let the games begin...

NEW YORK CITY - 2012

Ahh it’s refreshing to see a good ol’ flashback!

I always loved how LOKI pretty much snapped his neck when he saw ANTMAN kick that briefcase lol

I’d be mad too if I had to walk down all those flights of stairs.

water... is essential

GOBI DESERT, MONGOLIA

He did not have to get on that rock like that lol

ROFL turned into a robot gettin’ that little baton ready

“I think I’ve had my fill of idiots in armored suits telling me what to do, so, if you don’t mind, this is actually your last chance. Now get out of my way.” - LOKI

...!!!

"My Dad is on the board of Goldman Sachs. One little job and your whole job is privatized.” - RANDOM WORKER

yo father ain’t gonna do shit bro. 

HUNTER B-15 = The Uno Reverse Card

Teseract = Dumb

but ass naked!

I mean the machine tried to do it the nice way rofl

I wonder if that man hates his job with all that paperwork?

“Please confirm to your knowledge that you are not a fully robotic being, were born an organic creature, and do infact possess what many cultures would call a soul.” - TVA WORKER

You know NEBULA ass can’t step through that at all HA

For a split second, I thought the guard said, “Ticket, Ticket”.

This man is acting like a child. 

NOT THE SOUTHERN ACCENT FOR MS. MINUTES!!! 

Drawings like these give me major nastalgia. 

Not this dude lyin’ about the man not giving him a ticket UGH!?

Looked for ticket real quick ROFL

AIX-EN-PROVENCE, FRANCE, 1549

the sixth attack in the last week??!! Y’all gotta step your game up!

I honestly don’t know if I could eat something that changes my teeth to such a drastic color. But hey if it’s good then by all means I would tear that shit up!

“A God doesn’t plead.” - LOKI

RAVONNA = Doesn’t give a fuck about THE AVENGERS

We all knew his powers would not go through. 

ICONIC DIALOGUE

LOKI - “Hey! You ridiculous bureaucrats will not dictate how my story ends!”

RAVONNA - “It’s not your story, Mr. Laufeyson. It never was.” 

MEMORIABLE DIALOGUE

LOKI - “I’m going to burn this place to ground.”

AGENT MOBIUS - “I’ll show you where my desk is. You can start there.”

that’s too much clutter for me. 

“But you do like to lie, which you just did.” - AGENT MOBIUS

If the TVA spans across all of existence how all the workers are human? Where are the other species?

Ruling Midgard isn’t all that LOKI. Humans really ain’t shit. 

ICONIC DIALOGUE

LOKI - “The first and most oppressive lie ever uttered was the song of freedom.”

AGENT MOBIUS - “And how does that go?”

LOKI -  “For nearly every living thing choice breeds shame and uncertainty and regret. There’s a fork in every road, yet the wrong path always taken.”

Hey, if your pressed about the situation you’re in then just say that my dude. 

Not LOKI getting a little tense about how smart he is. 

LOKI got ptsd when he saw the OG Avengers assembled. 

NOT OFFERING HIM A DRINK!!!!!!

“It’s funny, for someone born to rule, you sure do lose a lot. You might even say it’s your nature.” - AGENT MOBIUS

PHIL COLLISON FLASHBACK = TRIGGERED

Me after watching the plane scene: “What was the point?? The Money!!”

At least when he sees looks back on the receipts of his life he takes up for it. 

LOKI soundin’ like a lil bitch right now. 

oof not them playin’ his adoptive mother’s death. 

DAMN BRO! He lost all those memories leading up to Endgame!! (good times… goood times)

Dang, I hope they don’t show him LOKI chockin’ his ass out...

MEMORIABLE DIALOGUE

AGENT MOBIUS - “Do you enjoy killing?”

LOKI - “I’ll kill you.”

AGENT MOBIUS - “What, like you did your mother?”

That was a low fuckin’ blow man!

“You weren’t born to be king, LOKI. You were born to cause pain and suffering and death.” - AGENT MOBIUS

CASEY needs new wheels on that cart lol

Bro CASEY is loud as fuck!!!

ICONIC DIALOGUE

LOKI - “Give me the Tesseract CASEY or I’l gut you like a fish!”

CASEY - What’s a fish?

     *me: wtf did Casey just ask??*

LOKI - “(shushes) How do you not know what a fish is?”

CASEY - “I’ve lived my entire life behind a desk.”

LOKI - “Well, what difference does it make?”

CASEY - “I wanna know exactly what I’m being threatened with before I comply.”

LOKI - “DEATH, CASEY! VIOLENT PAINFUL DEATH!”

ROFL this man has the Infinity Stones in a drawer like they’re nothing (because they are, but still...) well they can be paperweights

“I do not forgive you.” - CASEY

Casey, my dude, she truly isn’t worried about you. She wants to PRUNE LOKI’s ass immediately.

He just saw himself get body and all he can do is laugh. 

HUNTER B-15 is suppose to be a bad, but she let LOKI get to her so easily... do better bro!!

You know I think in terms of himself this is the most philosophical LOKI has been about himself as a person.

SALINA, OKLAHOMA - 1858

So you’re telling me that these TVA workers met their demise due to some fuckin’ fire??.... Someone needs to write a letter. 

___________

I actually saw this at 2:00 o’clock in the morning but I waited to post this because I wanted to make it perfect. But since I did the group watch I wasn’t really able to think too much into the episode but I will next time my dudes! Until then, remember everyone’s a critic when their opinion matters the least. 

-------

Here are the links to future episodes:

EP1 - EP2 - EP3 - EP4 - EP5 - EP6

[seasteading]

🪡youll do ot3 cos u louv me 👉👈

mac out here with my weakness </3 breaking the rules of the ask game with 3 characters instead of 2 but we gotta do it for the ot3

so the ot3 is in an interesting position where two of three legs of the love triangle are horrible and would immediately fall apart on their own (it's ezra. the problem is ezra) but somehow the scales just work out and balance to cancel out ezra's shittyness 😫 hes not even romantically interested in rhie at first—he thinks she's useful and rhie thinks he's pretty, and he starts acting like a simp for her until he actually is one. also trauma bonding </3 hes used to bending over seducing other ppl to get what he wants from them, but rhie is slow to trust and even slower to love, and there's nothing more insulting to ezra than turning his full attention on someone and having them just straight up ignore him. it gets him so hot and bothered that he starts taking leaves out of jerry d's book with weird internal monologues with vaguely cannibalistic undertones. ur delusional huh 🤨🤨🤨 rhie knows she can't fix him but maybe she can give him a buffer between him currently and him getting worse. he's important to the expedition, and she likes gideon too much to kill ezra quite yet, so they can be friends for now. then she meets ruvaen and it's like wow! i can actually have a healthy romance with a comparatively well-adjusted person! but the problem is that ezra is a demanding, possessive little bitch (the bratty sub jumping out 😔) and suffers from black hole character syndrome where he can't deal with the idea that he's not, to quote gowon from loona, the one & only of every person around him. he's so used to picking up the dredges of high society—ignored second children, bastards, new money nobility without the land or history behind their name—and extending his own influence by helping theirs that he's at a loss when the first person he's been genuinely interested in for a long, long time doesn't even seem to need him. he ruins people for anyone else, but gets uno reverse carded to the point that he's ruined himself for anyone but rhie and ruvaen and is like wait . fuck . this isn't how it's supposed to go WAIT

meanwhie rhie and ruvaen are having a good time and are talking thru their feelings and girlbossing their way thru getting a leg up over titania and are dragging the whore component of the ot3 out of the very deep shit pile he's dug himself into <3

send me a 🪡 + two characters and i’ll talk about their dynamic!

[croakings]

blorbo-eeby deeby (all of them) for breath of the wild, or just legend of zelda in general ;)

(x) PAN 💖💕💞💗💖 hi hello and thank you u hit the center of the dartboard. im gonna do both bc why not ok here we go

readmore because this got long lmao

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)

sheik from oot and i will not b accepting any questions at this time in general and kass from botw

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

agatha from twilight princess is like, the closest, and then the rito kids from botw. i don't really suffer from cuteness aggression but they are all Very Shaped and also eccentric. in this house we love and support weird children

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

medli from ww (i wanted to be her friend SO BAD as a child) and literally all the monks in botw. they turned themselves into magic mummies for Destiny. respect. i wouldn't

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

the goddesses as a double decker answer. i'm a cringe loz theologian cobbling together a coherent mythology from nintendo's meagre scraps. whenever they show up(ish) i fall through the ceiling to start an unskippable 6 hour power point presentation. they're not exactly "obscure", but i’d be willing to bet cash money very few other people care very much about them. but i do. I Care

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

this isn't super controversial but vaati from minish cap. why the hell is he like that. he's so funny. he's just Some Guy. cringe fail idiot wizard. from botw fucking. muzu. yeah the angry old zora. i think more people in video games should be shitty to you for their own reasons. it makes it spicy. he does forgive you but i'll forgive him for that. we can pretend it didn't happen.

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

in general this is such a difficult fucking decision but also not really, i'm dropping majora's mask into a jar and shaking it like a bug. with the fierce deity mask if i'm allowed to do that. in botw it's revali. he seems easy to upset. i don't think he'd actually do anything to me if i repeatedly kicked him in the shin

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

in general the wind fish i will never be over how it just LEAVES YOU STRANDED IN THE FUCKING OCEAN ON A RAFT, THAT ITS DREAM, THAT YOU SAVED IT FROM, WRECKED. bitch. in botw idk kohga? we pretty much do that to him in-game anyway. he is kinda in a doomsday cult tho maybe instead i would send him to super therapy. otherwise robbie he's a fucked up little man i think he would have fun there

thank you for the ask!!!!!!! i had to ponder some of these it was a fun time. i'm gonna go uno reverse card you now

[scourgeofshadows]

Some Obscure Hazbin Hotel Character Headcanons

Tv demon (rainbow suit): He’s associated with Vox due to the fact that he’s a tv demon & already showed 666 News on his screen/face. He’s literally a walking tv himself, which allows him to assist Vox.

“Wow! That was shit!”: He’s obviously a huge fan of old-fashioned cartoons (especially Disney?). What caused him to wind up in hell is due to the fact that he saw so many inappropriate cartoons that he copied the same actions as the characters, thus why he cussed as a reaction to Charlie’s idea & has a cartoon-like appearance.

Bat overlord: He’s a vampire & might be Dracula (this is probably a joke, but he seems like a vampire to me). He also has some kind of close association with Lucifer.

Camille/Camilla: She has a close association with Lucifer & may know Lilith well. She looks like the kind of demon to be friends with Lilith (or sisters?).

Two headed overlord: They run theatres & their heads have different personalities. Perhaps that’s due to the fact that they were conjoined twins. That or perhaps they suffered some kind of personality disorder before they died.

Birb overlord: For some reason I think he’s a head figure of rock & roll & reminds me of Elvis Presley.

Flame head overlord: Part of his brain is exposed, which may suggest how he died. He may have got his head burned from an incident & all that’s left of his head is part of his skull & miraculously his brain. His head can also go another direction when it comes to symbolism. Perhaps his exposed brain & flames represent his hot-tempered personality & “losing his mind.”

Rosie: In the pilot’s intro, two demons pulled angel weapons out of a corpse & walked away. Rosie herself runs an emporium as well. Due to those details, she runs a black market & the two demons are her employees.

Raptor demon: In the pilot, she’s seen at a bar. Perhaps she runs bars & casinos. Husk may be familiar with her.

Velvet: Ah yes, HH fans’ favorite clown. She follows & experiments trends, cosplays, has several social media accounts, & watches anime (perhaps in charge of anime entertainment?). I like thinking of her as a weeb, but who knows? She might be the overlord of circuses like a lot of fans assumed. It must be the obvious clown makeup that made fans assume that she’s a clown herself. Perhaps she has a connection to Blitzo’s circus family. That is if she isn’t the goddess of anime or social media (lol).

Valentino: He’s associated with Vox due to the fact that he runs a porn business & that’s a type of entertainment. They interact with each other often cuz of their entertainment connection.

Vox: I said so much about him on a few posts already, but I came up with several more ideas about him (I doubt anyone’s surprised). According to a stream (I think it’s HuniCast?), he’s charismatic, manipulative, egoistic, & craves attention. In his past life he’s a con-artist who topples down tv businesses for his own gain. He has a god complex that drives him to do any kind of action in order to have the best tv business ever & have everyone focus on him. He rigged game shows, hacked into electronics, pirated tv shows & movies, & played innocent with his excellent acting skills. Someone eventually took action & slaughtered him by ramming his head into a tv (welcome to prime time, bitch!) as an act of revenge. He ended up becoming an overlord because of his con-artist skills. He tricked several humans into selling their souls to him & he showed off in front of demons in such a way that they assume that he showed enough info to expose himself, Instead, he gave an uno reverse card & ended up trapping his opponents. He also hypnotizes victims & opponents & once someone gets interested in him, they fall into deep obsession & aren’t able to get him out of their heads. He runs game shows & the losers end up as new channels while winners get to be in the next episode. 

[blackcatanna]

Playing Kazama's Route Because I Guess I Hate Myself Part 1: Kyoto Winds

So, I'm going to play through everybody's routes on Hakuoki and vent my feelings and frustrations on here! I've already done Saito and Iba but I will play them again soon, too. Next up is Kazama, mostly because I'm curious to find out if this fucker has any redeeming qualities. Maybe if you're into nonces. Idk.

Wow, I had forgotten how gloriously campy this intro is :') I love it so much!

Playing through the prologue because it sets the tone of blood, death and assholes. This game is much more violent, tragic and much less horny than I had predicted and I guess I'm into that.

Aw, Chizuru bae is so lonesome and vulnerable <3

Kodo flashback! HIIISSSSSSSSSS!!! >:(

Just taking a moment to appreciate how beautiful and romantic the nighttime environment and music is <3 At least, until people start getting slashed up X_X

OKAY GAME, WE GET IT: CHIZURU IS HORNY FOR HIJIKATA. GOD.

Okita is enjoying this waaay too much X_X

Chapter 1

WIGGLE WIGGLE WIGGLE

Thank you for untying me, InouBAE!

THEY'VE BEEN DISCUSSING THE SITUATION SINCE MORNING BUT NOBODY THOUGHT TO SUGGEST MAYBE NOT REVEALING MORE SENSITIVE INFORMATION WHILE I'M IN THE ROOM?! I'm surrounded by idiots -_-

Apparently, "They are all truly gentlemen." Uh-huh.

Hooray for Chizuru calling out Okita for being a douche. And Hijikata for calling everyone a bunch of kids! Where is the lie? :')

Um, why has the camera zoomed in on Nagakura's crotch? Chizuru, please control your thirst. This is a life or death situation.

Now Saito's telling Okita to stop being a prick and Okita's response is, "hehe." X_X

Casual suicide jokes... Reminds me of my friends at uni X_X

RUN FOR YOUR LIFE 8O I can't see how this could possibly backfire...

OMG Kondou describing not recognising a girl as "The shame of a lifetime!" XD

"Maybe it's time you spilled your guts, kid." Is he... Is he telling me to commit seppuku?! O_O "I looked at him and nodded." GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD.

Although, with Harada threatening to strip me, suicide doesn't look like such a bad option X_X Tell me, Inoue, WHERE ARE THESE GENTLEMEN YOU WERE TELLING ME ABOUT?!

Feminist Hijikata wants to kill me regardless of gender :') We stan a woke queen.

Feminist icon Sanan also thinks that gender is irrelevant but doesn't want to kill me because THEIR JOB IS LITERALLY TO PROTECT PEOPLE.

You search so hard for Kodo and he turns out to be such a treacherous snake :'(

Bad feminist Hijikata calls the Shinsengumi "sons of bitches" for feeding me to him as his page. The Shinsengumi are strong, independent bitches in their own right.

Escaping execution but being quietly upset about having to wear ugly boy clothes for the foreseeable future is a mood.

More of Hijikata threatening to cut off Okita's tongue, please!

What does Chizuru have against afternoon drinking :P Clearly she has never enjoyed a long glass of Pimm's on a warm Summer afternoon! I guess she is pretty young...

Hijikata isn't here so can I please sneak out with you guys instead of staring at the wall all day?

Reeeeeeally want to pick the yes to dressing like a girl option but apparently that's not what Daddy Nonce wants :( HE'S NOT EVEN SHOWN UP YET AND HE'S ALREADY RUINING MY FUN! >:(

Well, now we're literally running away from Nagakura and Inoue. I'm getting High School flashbacks.

Wait, why is Heisuke being weird about Saito being in my room? Did this happen last time too? Maybe I just forgot or maybe it's because I was hanging out with Heisuke and Harada before...

This dinner is terrifying.

Survival of the fittest? More like survival of the FATTEST! Amirite? Anyone? No? I'll stop.

Takeda admittedly has a point about you not earning your place in the Shinsengumi. And he has great hair. So I can almost forgive him for being a mega bitch.

"His swordsmanship is decent, BUT he is well read and possesses a cunning mind for military science." Not sure if a translation error or Hijikata just hates nerds?!

Does accompanying Hijikata as his page get me bonus Kazama Sexy Points purely because it pisses Hijikata off?

Chizuru once again being in mortal peril but getting distracted by Iba's beautiful face is relatable af.

"Takeda huffed smugly to himself and WADDLED out of the store." What a majestic image we have been blessed with :') The bitchiest penguin ever to waddle this Earth!

Iba happily munching his bean jelly is a MOOD.

Chapter 2

Okita telling you that you're here to keep him company on his rounds is exactly the kind of bullshit that I'd expect from him X_X

Guess I'm just running into a battle...

Oh, it's Kazama. Sitting on the windowsill like the edgy bastard he is.

Aaaand he just killed a guy on his own side. Classic edgelord move.

And apparently I have to thank him for this display if I want him to be my waifu.

Seemingly, Chizuru is thirsty for this slut and is being REALLY FRICKING OBVIOUS ABOUT IT X_X

OH HE DID NOT JUST CALL ME THE SHINSENGUMI'S BITCH. Although, it is somewhat accurate XD STILL A DICK MOVE AFTER I THANKED HIM SO NICELY, THOUGH.

AND HE SAYS THAT I HAVE MANNERS, BUT WHERE ARE YOUR FREAKING MANNERS, YOU EDGY THOT?!!!

I have a feeling that a lot of this will be typed in caps from now on -_-

Oooh he winked! I cannot handle this intense eroticism!

Surprise Saito! My favourite flavour of surprise (see, "Shinsengumi's bitch")!

The Shinsengumi are grateful for my efforts and, thus, have gifted me with the great gift of sweeping <3

Hijikata and Iba are so cute <3

Kazama's being edgy again X_X and murdering people. Classic Kazama.

Oh wow, he's actually calling us peasants.

Aw, we're talented peasants <3 How generous of him!

HOW DARE HE TRASH TALK OKITA LIKE THAT! Wow, I'm actually defending that asshole X_X

Hijikata baring his teeth like an angry doggo XD

I'm super mad at Kazama for killing that poor Shinsengumi guy :'( Such a thoughtless waste of life :'(

Now he's mocking Nagakura's obedience to the Shogun. What are your lofty ideals, Kazama? Ah yes, you want to subjugate and enslave the human race. How... noble...

Okay, so, apparently, Kazama is being a huge, murderous pain in the ass because he's just OH SO CONCERNED for the pride of his human allies. I don't buy it.

Ah, Hijikata called Kazama a petulant child :') Truer words were never spoken!

Okay, now Hijikata is saying that they don't deserve an honourable death?! Wow, Hijikata. That comment is not going to age well, I can tell you.

So maybe I agree with Kazama here!? He still shouldn't have murdered that guy, though.

I seriously don't understand why Hijikata is so keen to slaughter these guys and potentially lose more of his men just to force them to suffer a shameful death?! Maybe he doesn't see dying that way as dishonourable but I have no patience for people forcing their ideals onto others.

Aaah! Kazama throwing Hijikata's insult back in his face is pretty brilliant!

Kazama just sliced me in the face! Sexy?!

Sexy Points with Kazama because he's confirmed your full BROOD MARE potential.

Kazama likes calling people bitches so we have that in common.

So, now Hijikata respects them for committing seppuku?! I am CONFUSED.

Oh, now I'm getting Itou's origin story?! This is unexpected!

Wait, have I broken the game and accidentally romanced Kondou?! What is happening right now?! X_X

Oooh! I'm getting sword training! Yes please! This is better than sex :D

Feminist icon Kondou isn't going easy on me just because I'm a girl :D

Chapter 3

Aka: Sanan's breakdown!

"Those were his last words." O_O I... hope that that's not true...

Okay, now he's throttling me! I take it back! Somebody fillet this crazy fucker!

OMG WAS THAT CRUNCHING SOUND MY NECK?!

But why is he choking me when he could be sipping on my delicious blood? O_o

The awkward moment when your creepy brother is a hotter woman than you X_X

Apparently, Kazama's gazing at me with bloodlust. How romantic.

Haha! Apparently Kazama's hand is "pale and grasping like the tentacle of some hideous subterranean monster." X_X Hot.

Yay! Rescued from tentai boi by HajiBAE and SanoCUTEY! And Harada is calling out Kazama for being a creep :') This is a good day.

Kazama's response burn is weak. The culture and the nose of a dog? What does that even mean? Even if Harada's nose looked like a dog's, that'd still be pretty weak, imo.

Ha! Saito's response is basically just an Uno reverse card but I'm always here for calling Kazama out on his hypocrisy.

Omg, now Yamazaki is kidnapping me and Shiranui's calling him out! None of these hos have any chill!

Amagiri is taking a break from fighting to read Shiranui for being a hotheaded pain in the arse.

Hijikata is rightfully calling me an idiot for drawing my sword on Kazama :')

Kazama's insults are so blunt and childish but it's so funny! He just called Hijikata a weak shit! Apparently, fighting him is an honour and Hijikata isn't giving this diva the attention he believes he deserves.

Hijikata needs to stop calling me Kid X_X

"Sleazebag" = accurate.

Ooh, Sanan is paying me a late night visit! How risqué!

Of course I want to learn more about the water of life but The Grand High Nonce would apparently disapprove so I guess I'll have to wait until another route to find out :'(

Apparently Kazama's not going to abduct me TODAY. How reassuring.

I relate to Kazama admiring the beauty of the temple but he lost me by being a hypocrite again. Apparently, he doesn't understand how humans can destroy their creations with their wars. KAZAMA IS FIGHTING WITH THE PEOPLE WHO WANTED TO BURN KYOTO AND THEY PARTIALLY SUCCEEDED. Kazama can only destroy things, as far as I can tell.

Now he's ranting about how they lie, deceive and kill. Pot kettle black? "If they want something, they'll steal it." UGH, KAZAMA, YOU HAVE REPEATEDLY TRIED TO STEAL ME YOU HYPOCRITICAL FUCKWIT. HE'S SO FRUSTRATING. SUCH AN INSUFFERABLE COMBINATION OF PRETENTION, HYPOCRISY, CRUELTY, HUBRIS, I could go on XD I should stop... For now...

AAAAAH HE JUST SAID NOT TO TRUST THE SHINSENGUMI BECAUSE THEY KILL THEIR OWN MEN WITHOUT BATTING AN EYELASH. THAT'S WHAT KAZAMA DOES WHEN YOU FIRST MEET HIM! BUT I GUESS IT DOESN'T COUNT TO HIM BECAUSE THE MAN WASN'T PART OF HIS SUPERIOR RACE!

Sen = <3

Chapter 4 (This is where I went to sleep)

I feel like we could have got away with killing the guy who was SENTENCED TO DEATH if fricking Sanan hadn't shown up and revealed his alive-ness!

Aw, Itou is concerned about my arm!

Aaaaand he's ruined it by being a cunt XD "Would you like to know?" "Yes." "I won't tell you." X_X

Heisuke, Saito... HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME... WHEN I NEEDED TO... POSSES YOU... I HATED YOU; I LOVED YOU TOO... BAD DREAMS IN THE NIGHT.... *Continues singing Wuthering Heights and dances around the room dramatically*

"And then they were gone" :'(

Tbf, I'd be pretty mad if my comrades had been doing such dangerous, fucked up experiments behind my back.

"I am more concerned about the soldiers being left behind." - lies!

Wait, Sanan knew Itou "really well"?! Their only interaction until now was Itou being a mega-douche to him. I have so many questions!

Aw, Sanan trusts that our friendlings will return <3

Ooh! Going on a manju adventure with YAM!

Kazama strolling down the street and everybody being pushed out of the way by the douchebag waves rolling off of him.

Okay, so Kazama has come here alone to get pissed amongst humans?! That seems implausible...

"I might even allow you to pour me a drink." BLEUGH BLETCH BLUUURGH.

I CANNOT WITH THIS THOT AND HIS HYPOCRITICAL BULLSHIT. HOW DARE HE BRAG ABOUT HOW COOL AND DOWN WITH THE KIDS HE IS TO BE DRINKING WITH HUMANS AND THEN SLAG ME OFF FOR ASSOCIATING WITH HUMANS?!

If I'm supposedly so curious about the demon lifestyle, can I PLEASE just run away with Sen? :'(

WHY IS NOBODY ASKING WHAT I WANT?!? X_X I WANT TO GO WITH THE COOL DEMON LADIES!!!

"Yukimura. What do you have to say about this?" FINALLY!!! THANK YOU, KONDOU!

I really want to go but the game won't let me XD

Souji is correct. I clearly have rocks for brains XD

"Gosh" Appropriate reaction.

AAAAAAAAND MY BELOVED SHINSENGUMI IS IMMEDIATELY ENDANGERED BY MY POOR DECISIONS.

Ooh! Physical contact with Kazama! Sure, he's violently grabbing me but this thirsty bitch will take what she can get XD

Harada has the best put downs :') "Barging in here to get yourself a wife! You think you'd get the point by now after all these rejections..."

"You fools have no idea of her worth." BITCH I AM A well, not human but SENTIENT BEING! THEY TREAT ME WITH MORE RESPECT THAN YOU EVER DID YOU MASSIVE CREEP. I AM MORE THAN JUST A WOMB, YOU HO!!!

"She is most valuable when used by a fitting partner." THA FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?!???! NOPENOPENOPE. A FITTING PARTNER WOULD NOT "USE" ME, BITCH.

"HA! So you decide to take her against her will just because you're too scared of the rejection you'll get from flat-out asking her out, huh?" YES HARADA!!! YOU CALL OUT THIS FUCKING NONCE!!! ALL RAPISTS ARE COWARDS!!! "You're so lame and creepy." WHERE IS THE LIE?!??

Meanwhile, Hijikata just makes it clear that he'd happily slice through me. Good to know.

I shall WIGGLE my way out of this situation! What do you mean it didn't work?!

YAAAS KONDOU! YOU FIGHT THAT BITCH!!!

OMG I JUST FELL ON TOP OF OKITA AND NOW HE'S SLUT SHAMING ME! XD

"Tell me... How is it? On top of me. Does it feel good?" O_O O_O O_O This game just got a lot more spicy!

Just fuck already! If only to piss off Kazama X_X

Aw, poor sick Okita <3

How dare they mention that the new HQ has a huge bath for warriors to bathe together and not have another thirst scene :P

Now Harada and Nagakura are slut shaming each other for having their tiddies out in Winter :')

Does this count as sexposition? Politics + tiddies?

"Itou dies." This is what happens when you base a game around true events! Problems aren't solved with the power of love and friendship! X_X

YES SAITO, PLEASE PROTECT ME FROM THIS MURDEROUS NONCE!

Chapter 5

At least in the normal route where nobody loves me, I don't get shot at by cannons O_O

There are a lot of typos in this chapter already. Perhaps the developers didn't expect anyone to be INSANE enough to romance Kazama.

DON'T TELL THIS RANDOM GUY YOUR PLANS YOU FOOL!!! IF THIS GETS INOUE KILLED, IMMA BE SO MAD!!!

NO INOUE!!! DON'T DRINK THE CRAZY JUICE!!!

NOOOOOO!!!! INOOOUUUUEEEE!!! :'(

Yes Queen, you call out those murdering cowards :'(

FFS I just got hella shot X_X

NO YOU GUYS ARE THE MONSTERS!!!

Apparently, I'm a "Noble Demon specimen" BITCH WHERE?!

"Why was Kazama helping me?" UM, HAVEN'T WE BEEN THROUGH THIS?! BECAUSE HE WANTS TO "USE" YOUR FERTILE WOMB TO BREED A NEW LINE OF DEMON CHILDREN.

"Shoot me? To death?" XD

"Kazama glared coldly at the pile of dismembered corpses on the floor" :') So romantic!

OMG IT'S THE BETTER DRESSED VERSION OF ME!!!

"Actually a man." UM, A CHILD, SEEMINGLY.

The whole creepy demonic family together at last :')

STOP CALLING ME ADORABLE AND LITTLE YOU CREEPY DEMON CHILD.

"What you're doing is disgraceful." YOU TELL HIM KAZAMA.

"Mind if I kill your family, right here and now?" O_O Kazama has zero chill! Thanks for asking, though, I guess. Go for it, Kazama XD

Oh, apparently I'm going to "talk to them" X_X

"Kodo, I could murder you over a thousand times, and it still wouldn't be enough for me." This is the most I've ever liked Kazama.

Doesn't Kazama work directly with Kodo in various routes?

Why can't I vanish like smoke? :'( Where are MY cool demon powers? :'(

"Turns out the only one capable of keeping you safe when you needed them most was me -- not them." HOW DARE YOU!!! INOUE GAVE HIS LIFE PROTECTING ME AND YOU'VE NEVER PUT YOUR OWN PRECIOUS NECK OUT THERE FOR ANYONE IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE YOU POMPOUS ASS!!! YOU'VE NEVER HAD TO WORK FOR ANYTHING IN YOUR WHOLE LIFE, HAVE YOU?! YOU WERE BORN A DEMON PRINCE AND THAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT YOU'RE BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE?!? BECAUSE YOU HAVE POWERS YOU DIDN'T EARN?!

"If your idea of a good time is seeing the rotting corpses of your friends, be my guest..." 8_8 :'( No, they can't all be dead! Surely not! Kazama don't say things like that!

The Yodo are going to betray the Shogunate?!? I must warn them D:

Wow, this just got heavy and real sad.

Wait, did he just admit to meddling in the war?! He is such a hypocrite!!!! Aaaaaaah!!! Somebody call him out on his bs!!!!

SEN AND KIMIGIKU <3 SAVE ME!

Even Shiranui sees that humans have a variety of complex motivations X_X

I AM NOT YOUR FUTURE WIFE!!!!

Do the Shinsengumi just assume that I'm dead?!

Great, now I'm on a road trip with this cunt.

"I've never actually been this close to a man before..." Calm down! That horse is third wheeling so hard right now. And what about that time you fell ON TOP OF Okita?!

Welp, that's it for Kyoto Winds! Onwards to Edo Blossoms! I still don't like Kazama but at least murdering the ever-loving FUCK out of Kodo is a cause that I can believe in. Although, one of the reasons that I hated Kodo in Saito's route was because he was helping the same sex pest I'm now galloping across the country with. Huh. 

This is the most that I’ve ever used the word, “nonce” in my entire life and this is only the first game.

[appleboxx]

Weird things I’ve said on discord in the past week or two

Hey can you get high off plain air? Cuz I feel hella high rn

Candles make me wanna burn a bitch

Eat crackers responsibly

“This is so hot, it’ll make your mom gay”

You are not kinky

I’m suffering here

Uno reverse card

I came here to have a good time but honestly I feel so attacked rn

Bitch p l e a s e

For what, your non existent ding dong?

If you said this irl it would sound like a tsundere loli tryna roast somebody

And that’s the tea sis

Well there’s nobody here willing to pity you so go mope elsewhere and kidnap someone to turn into an eboy for your gay ass

I have an OC that’s like naveed or what’s his name from princess and the frog, but gayer

A lot of people love him and I’m just off to the side like ‘bitch what’

Who punches the person they love

‘Oh em gee, they hang out so much, I ship it! 😍😍😍😍😍’ that’s like shipping me with my friends

And overall she’s just an ass

Oof spill the tea

Like sis please calm down

It’s 2:15 am but at this moment no fucks are given by yours truly

I’m not sure what state of mind I was in during all of these moments, but I was most likely mentally high.

AnD tHaTs ThE tEa SiS gNiGhT

[caviadivita]

Yeah, I done did a lot of things in my day, I admit it

I don't take back what I say, if I said it then I meant it

All my life I want a Grammy but I'll prolly never get it

I ain't never had no trophy or no motherfuckin' ribbon

Fuck the system, I'm that nigga, bend the law, cut the rules

I'm about to risk it all, I ain't got too much to lose

Y'all been eatin' long enough, it's my turn to cut the food

Pass the plate! Where my drink? This my day, lucky you

Fuck you too, woah!

Y'all gotta move, y'all gotta move, y'all gotta move

Give me some room, give me some room, give me the juice

Hop out the coupe, hop out the coupe, hop out and shoot

Y'all gotta move, y'all gotta move, give me the juice

Back on my bullshit, my back to the wall

Turn my back on you all and you're finished

Back to these bullets, it's back to the job

Pull my MAC out and all of you runnin'

Back on my hood shit, it's back to the pushin'

These packs and I'm actually pumpin'

Can't fuck with you rappers, you practically suckin'

You mighta went platinum, but that don't mean nothin'

I'm actually buzzin' this time

Straight out the kitchen, I told them the oven is mine

I do not fuck with you guys

If I don't kill you, just know you gon' suffer this time

I ain't no gangster, but I got some bangers

Some chains and some blades and a couple of knives

Choppers and jammies, a partridge, a pear tree

My twelve days of Christmas was nothin' but lies

I, run at you hard like a sumo (sumo)

They say I talk like a chulo (chulo)

I live in Mars, I'm not Bruno

Bitch I'm a dog, call me Cujo

You play your cards, I reverse on you all

And I might just draw four like a Uno

Cállate boca mejor maricón little puto, and all of you culo

They debated the level, I've been to ghetto to ghetto

Looking for something I prolly could never find now

Shit get real up until the beef die down

In truth a nigga just really want me tied down

I've been alone, and I never needed nobody

Just only me and my shotty, I'll tell these niggas to lie down

Keep all the money, I never wanted the lifestyle

I just pray to God that my son'll be alright now

I said ain't no love for the other side

Or anyone who ever want smoke

When I die I'm goin' out as the underdog who never lost hope

You in the wrong cab down the wrong path

Nigga wrong way, wrong road

Snakes in the grass, tryna slither fast

I just bought a fuckin' lawn mower

[amarrathee-blog]

I don't take back what I say, if I said it then I meant it All my life, I want a Grammy, but I'll prolly never get it I ain't never had no trophy or no motherfuckin' ribbon (ay, yah yah) Fuck the system, I'm that nigga, bend the law, cut the rules I'm about to risk it all, I ain't got too much to lose Y'all been eatin' long enough, it's my turn to cut the food Pass the plate! Where my drink? This my day, lucky you Fuck you too, woo! [Chorus: Joyner Lucas] Y'all gotta move, y'all gotta move, y'all gotta move Give me some room, give me some room, give me the juice Hop out the coupe, hop out the coupe, hop out and shoot Y'all gotta move, y'all gotta move, give me the juice [Verse 1: Joyner Lucas] Back on my bullshit, my back to the wall Turn my back on you, all of you finished Back to these bullets, it's back to the job Pull my MAC out and all of you runnin' Back on my hood shit, it's back to the pushin' These packs and I'm actually pumpin' Can't fuck with you rappers, you practically suckin' You mighta' went platinum, but that don't mean nothin' I'm actually buzzin' this time Straight out the kitchen, I told 'em the oven is mine I do not fuck with you guys If I don't kill you, just know you gon' suffer this time I ain't no gangster but I got some bangers Some chains and some blades and a couple of knives Choppers and jammies, a partridge, a pear tree My twelve days of Christmas was nothin' but lies (ay) I run at you hard like a sumo (sumo) They say I talk like a chulo (chulo) I live in Mars, I'm not Bruno (woo) Bitch I'm a dog, call me "Cujo" (rah) You play your cards, I reverse on you all And I might just drop 4 like a Uno (bup) Cállate boca mejor, maricón, little puto, and all of you culo (Joyner) They've invented a level up in the ghetto to get old Lookin' for somethin' I prolly can never find now Shit get relevant until the beef die down In truth a nigga just really want me tied down I've been alone and I never needed nobody Just only me and my shotty, I'll tell these niggas to lie down Keep all the money, I never wanted the lifestyle I just pray to God that my son'll be alright now I said ain't no love for the other side Or anyone who ever want smoke (Joyner) When I die I'm goin' out as the underdog who never lost hope (yeah) You in the wrong cab down the wrong path Nigga, wrong way, wrong road (woo) Snakes in the grass tryna slither fast I just bought a fuckin' lawn mower (vroom!) [Bridge: Eminem] I done said a lotta things in my day, I admit it This is payback in a way, I regret it that I did it I done won a couple Grammys, but I sold my soul to get 'em Wasn't in it for the trophies, just the fuckin' recognition Fuck's the difference? I'm that cracker, bend the law, fuck the rules Man I used to risk it all, now I got too much to lose I've been eatin' long enough, man my stomach should be full I just ate, licked the plate, my buffet, lucky me Fuck you think? (woo!) [Verse 2: Eminem] I got a couple of mansions Still I don't have any manners You got a couple of ghost writers But to these kids it don't actually matter They're askin' me, "What the fuck happened to hip-hop?" I said, "I don't have any answers." 'Cause I took an L when I dropped my last album It hurt me like hell but I'm back on these rappers And actually comin' from humble beginnings I'm somewhat uncomfortable winning I wish I could say "What a wonderful feeling!" "We're on the upswing like we're punchin' the ceiling!" But nothin' is feeling like anyone has any fuckin' ability To even stick to a subject, it's killin' me The inability to pen humility Hatata batata, why don't we make a bunch of Fuckin' songs about nothin' and mumble 'em? Fuck it, I'm goin' for the jugular Shit is a circus, you clowns that are comin' up Don't give an ounce of a motherfuck About the ones that were here before you that made rap Let's recap, way back, MC's that wreak havoc on tape decks ADAT's, where the G Raps and Kanes at? We need 3 Stacks ASAP and bring Masta Ace back 'Cause half of these rappers have brain damage All the lean rappin', face tats, syruped out like tree sap I don't hate trap, and I don't wanna seem mad But in fact, where the old me at? The same cat That would take that feed-back and aim back, I need that But I think it's inevitable They know what button to press or what lever to pull To get me to snap though (lil' bitch) And if I'm payin' attention I'm probably makin' it bigger But you've been takin' ya dicks in the fuckin' back, ho (get it?) On the brink, any minute got me thinkin' of finishin' Everything with acetaminophen and reapin' the benefits I'm asleep at the wheel again As I peak into thinkin' about an evil intent Of another beat I'ma kill again 'Cause even if I gotta end up eatin' a pill again Even ketamine or methamphetamine with the minithin It better be at least 70 or 300 milligram And I might as well 'cause I'ma end up bein' a villain again Levels to this shit, I got an elevator You could never say to me I'm not a fuckin' record breaker I sound like a broken record every time I break a record Nobody could ever take away the legacy I made, I never cater Motherfucker, now I got a right to be this way I got spite inside my DNA But I wrote 'til the wheels fall off, I'm workin' tirelessly, ayy It's the moment y'all been waitin' for Like California wishin' rain would pour In that drought, y'all been prayin' for My downfall from the 8 Mile to the Southpaw Still the same Marshall, that outlaw That they say as a writer might've fell off I'm back on that bull like the cowboys

[your-musicaboa]

Lucky You (Feat. Joyner Lucas) - Eminem

Woah Joyner, Joyner Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah I done did a lot of things in my day I admit it, I don't take back what I say If I said it, then I meant it All my life I want a Grammy But I'll prolly never get it I ain't never had no trophy or no motherfuckin' ribbon Fuck the system, I'm that nigga Bend the law, cut the rules I'm about to risk it all I ain't got too much to lose Y'all been eating long enough It's my turn to cut the food Pass the plate Where my drink? This my day Lucky you Fuck you too, woah! Y'all gotta move, y'all gotta move y'all gotta move Give me some room, give me some room, give me the juice Hop out the coupe, hop out the coupe, how 'bout I shoot? Y'all gotta move, y'all gotta move give me the juice Back on my bullshit, my back to the wall Turn my back on you all and you're finished Back to these bullets, it's back to the job Put my MAC on and all of you runnin' Back on my hood shit, it's back to the pushing These packs and I'm actually pumpin' Can't fuck what you rapping, you practically suckin' You might've went platinum, but that don't mean nothin' I'm actually buzzin' this time Straight out the kitchen, I told them the oven is mine I do not fuck with you guys If I don't care you just know that you gonna suffer this time I ain't no gangster but I got some banging Some chains and some blades in, and a couple of knives Choppers and jammies, a partridge in a pear tree My twelve days of Christmas was nothing but lies Why don't you holla like a sumo (sumo) They say I talk like a chulo I live in Mars, I'm not Bruno Bitch, I'm a dog call me Cujo You play your cards, I reverse on you all And I might just drop four like an Uno Cállate boca mejor, maricón, liltle puto, and all of you culo They've invented a level off in the ghetto to ghetto lookin' for something that prolly can never find out Shake irrelevant and tell 'em to beef right now What you would nigga? You really want me tied down I've been alone, I never needed nobody Just only me and my shotty I'll tell these niggas to lie down Keep all of the money I never wanted the lifestyle I just pray to God that my son be alright now I said ain't no love for the other side or anyone who ever want smoke When I die I'm going out as the underdog who never lost hope You in the wrong cab down the wrong path Nigga wrong way, wrong road Snakes in the grass, tryna slither fast I just bought a fuckin' lawn mower I have said a lotta things in my day I admit it, this is payback in a way I regret it that I did it I done won a couple Grammys but I sold my soul to get 'em Wasn't in it for the trophies, just the fuckin' recognition Fuck's the difference? I'm that cracker! Bend the law Fuck the rules Man I used to risk it all Now I got too much to lose I been eating long enough Man my stomach should be full I just ate, lick the plate, my buffet Lucky me Fuck you think? (woo!) I got a couple of mansions, still I don't have any manners You got a couple of ghost writers but to these kids it don't actually matter They're asking me "What the fuck happened to hip-hop? " I said "I don't have any answers" 'Cause I took an L when I dropped my last album it hurt me like hell but I'm back on these rappers And actually coming from humble beginnings I'm somewhat of uncomfortable winning I wish I could say "what a wonderful feeling" We're on the upswing like we're punching the ceiling But nothing is stealing, like anyone has any fucking ability To even stick to a subject, it's killing me the inability to pin humility Hatata batata "Why don't we make a bunch of fuckin' songs about nothin' And mumble", and fuck it I'm goin' for the jugular Shit is a circus, you clowns that are comin' up Don't give an ounce of a motherfuck About the ones that were here before you to make raps it's recap Way back, MC's that Recap, and tape decks Eight DATs with the G raps and Kane's at, we need three stacks ASAP, and bring lap Masta Ace back Because half of these rappers have brain damage All the lean rappin', face tats syruped out like tree sap I don't hate trap, and I don't wanna seem mad but in fact With a old-me at the same cat that would take that Feedback and aim back, I need that But I think it's inevitable They all got button to press or a lever to pull It gives me the snap though (little bitch) And if I paid attention I'd probably makin' it big But you've been taking the dicks On the fuckin' gag, hoe (get it?) On the brink in a minute Got me thinkin' of finishin' everything With acetaminophen then reapin' the benefits I'ma sleep at the wheel again As I peak into thinking about an evil intent Of another beat 'em and kill again 'Cause even if I gotta end up eating a pill again Even ketamine or methamphetamine With the Manidon, it better be at least 70 to 300mg And I might as well 'cause I'ma end up being a villain again Levels to this shit I got an elevator You could never say to me I'm not a fuckin' record breaker I sound like a broken record every time I break a record Nobody could ever take away the legacy, I made a navigator Motherfucker never got a right to be this way I got spite inside my DNA But I work 'til the wheels fall off, I'm workin' tirelessly, aye It's the moment y'all been waiting for Like California wishin' rain'd pour And that drought y'all have been praying for My downfall from the 8 Mile to the Southpaw Still the same Marshall that outlaw That they say is a writer might've fell off But back on that bull like the cowboys So y'all gotta move (yeah) y'all gotta move (yeah) y'all gotta move Give me some room, give me some room, give me the juice Hop out the coupe, hop out the coupe, how 'bout I shoot? Y'all gotta move, y'all gotta move give me the juice