#// bc it means he's accepting he can have flaws and trust others and just i can't word rn

[armafidelium]

something i look forward to hopefully exploring in his phel's canon verse is him gaining trust in others and kinda just . . . learning to be a person outside of his duty. we'll see how long that kinda stuff takes but i enjoy exploration like that

[greenunoreversecard]

Kai general and Romantic headcanons

A/N:sorry if I got any of the characters wrong, I was using a combo of wiki/Google translate as I don't speak any of the languages mentioned. Pls let me know if I got any info wrong, i will gladly go in and change it to make it right.

General:

Half Indian and half Chinese.

His and nya's last name is 鄭 (Zheng), but he says it's Smith bc when they where younger he got in the habit of lying about his name so he Didnt have to deal with CPS.

His ma is from Visakhapatnam in Andhra Pradesh, and was a practicing Hindu. Ray is from the 云南 (yunnan) province, and was a practicing theravida Buddhist. Ray is ethnically from the 傣族 (dai people, also spelt Tai in english)

Before his parents dissapearances, they both brought him to their hometowns, and actively taught him both cultures and religions, which he continued to learn about and even teach Nya about after their dissapearances.

When he was 14 he bought a small boat and him and Nya rode it across the costal line, and he promised Nya one day when he was older he'd bring the both of them to their parents hometowns.

He's a Buddhist.

He speaks so many languages.

Like so many

He's fluent in Thai, mandarin and cantonese chinese, telugu, urdu, hindi, Punjabi, arabic and ninjago-ian(idk whatever language ninjago speaks)

Also trying to learn Indonesian.

He also knows yunnan dialect bc his dad would speak in it more often than not

Absorbes info like a sponge

He likes to quilt

He always wears a golden bracelet He got from his moms jewelry box after she left.

Likes to draw but is bad at it, so he colors coloring books

Introvert

He may act all confident, but he really isn't. super insecure

Soooo good with hair

Like, has all the stops. 10 step hair care routine

rivals Zanes cooking skills.

When working out focuses on building rather than lean muscle.

Mother friend

has dragged all of his friends into the water splashing festival.

Fatal flaw is loyalty and kind of hubris (it's conflicting, ik with the insecure and extreme pride, but like- it makes sense in my head. Inferiority/maybe superiority complex.)(it makes sense bc this is such me behavior. Imagine hating yourself but thinking ur the baddest bitch alive)

Likes to stare at fire

If he can't sleep he'll make a small bonfire to stare at and think

insomnia

Chronic cigarette smoker

Romantic:

Hes more show than tell

Def acts of service (me frfr)

Although, he is very cuddly.

Not in public, though. Maybe infront of the other ninja if it was a rough day

Loves to rock you gently from side to side when yall are hug

loves to give you temple kisses

He's very gentle with you, treats you like glass

You wil prolly say ily first, and he'll go;"🧍‍♂️...cool?"

He has mommy and daddy issues, but HEAVY on the mommy issues. Have fun with this hyper-independant fuck who can't accept help without feeling like a failure even though they need it (I'm not projecting you are)

Goes all out for holidays and anniversaries.

Doberman/German Shepard vibes tbh

When it's just you two he doesn't feel the need to fill the air with meaningless chatter, so if he feels safe enough to just share air without talking feel honoured and cherish it bc that means he actually trusts you.

A little rough around the edges, but will remember that thing you said 5years ago on ur first date

Most dates are chill inside and take a nap

But sometimes if he can he takes you on the town or someplace fancy

Also likes to show you his favorite childhood spots

[killakalx]

thoughts on autopsy scar?

i like the topic of jason’s scar on a very. intimate level i guess? if we’re being really technical then it just doesn’t make sense so i only ever think about the idea in art or in posts that expand on jason having to live with the fact he’s supposed to be dead. without the scar it’s still true, but in the case that he does have it then it’s his constant reminder that he lives with the curse of knowing he shouldn’t, and meanwhile others would do anything for a “blessing” like cheating death and getting a second chance.

i talk about the idea of flings and things like that with these characters a lot but that’s just bc most of the time me writing means i’m thinking with my pussy 🙏🏽 lord knows i’m obsessed with the overwhelming amount of trust and love jason has to commit himself to before fully accepting intimacy from another, let alone love for himself. this is to say i’ve always liked the idea of jason allowing you to see and admire every part of him, including that god forsaken mark of death, is his equivalent to a declaration of love. it’s dramatic i know, but so is jason. you accept and glorify him for all of his flaws despite the fact that no one, not even himself can say he’s a man worth that amount of love.

i’m rambling and this might not make sense bc i’m not exactly in tip top shape rn, but i love the autopsy scar. very romantic to me in terms of jason and the reader.

[vithe-potato]

Dating Lo'ak Sully Headcanons...

Lo'ak is a big troublemaker and very stubborn

He teases you all the time and creates nicknames for you, some are cute and some are plain out annoying.

Of course, with his rebellious nature, he loves sneaking out with you. This started before you were dating, you two going on nighttime 'adventures' and exploring the forest without any interruptions. You and Lo'ak would talk about anything and everything while walking through the gorgeous landscapes, bringing up topics you would never have thought that Lo'ak would want or need to talk about

Cuddles, he is never not holding you. He will hold your hand while wondering around, maybe a confident arm around your shoulder, and completely disregarding your personal space when you're alone. I don't think he even thinks your space exists anymore, if you mention anything like this to him, he will just stop for a second and say "Your space? You mean our space." He doesn't care what other people think, he will hold you till the day he dies, it's his happy place.

Though, I do think if you mention anything about him being 'clingy' (Please never do don't crush my baby) but if you do, he will never to it again and begin to withdraw.

He has always felt like an outcast, even in his own home. He just need's someone to trust, someone to actually talk to. He needs someone to be there and accept him for who he is, even with his 'flaws' (that are literally non-existent bc this man is perfect)

His worst fear is losing your acceptance, so he will do everything to keep a perfect image of him in your head. It takes a long time for him to break, for him to stop trying to impress you and keep a perfect image for you. You have to tell him how much you love him, and how you always will no-matter what. Holding his face in your hands as you say this, a tear slips down his cheek, you kiss it away.

He is your number one fan, your greatest supporter. It doesn't matter what you do, you sing? You heal? You hunt? He is cheering you on, helping you through any struggles, and constantly bragging about his amazing and beautiful soon-to-be-mate.

Lo'ak swears a LOT, you even jokingly started scolding him everytime after once witnessing his father do so. He lightly pushes your head away, groaning. It pisses him off a bit, but it's worth it for the amount of times he picks on you.

To be completely honest, Lo'ak likes to tease you not because he's a jerk, but because he loves getting a reaction out of you. He loves seeing your brows furrow and the cute pout on your lips. He loves any emotion he can get out of you, yet he would NEVER cause you pain.. if he were ever the reason you were hurt (physically or emotionally) I don't think he would ever forgive himself. He just likes those small, cute reactions he gets from you. Mostly because he made you feel that way.

That's also why this man loooooves to make you laugh. When your happy he's happy, so there are a lot of random jokes that are usually just so f-ing cringy that you just burst into laughter. (Neteyam gets a bit annoyed at the fact that now not only Lo'ak is laughing at a stupid joke about him, but you are also hiding your big smile in his brother's bicep snickering too)

All in all, Lo'ak just wants to feel wanted, and now he has you to give him all the love he needs.

Lo'ak is a big troublemaker and very stubborn

He teases you all the time and creates nicknames for you, some are cute and some are plain out annoying.

Of course, with his rebellious nature, he loves sneaking out with you. This started before you were dating, you two going on nighttime 'adventures' and exploring the forest without any interruptions. You and Lo'ak would talk about anything and everything while walking through the gorgeous landscapes, bringing up topics you would never have thought that Lo'ak would want or need to talk about

Cuddles, he is never not holding you. He will hold your hand while wondering around, maybe a confident arm around your shoulder, and completely disregarding your personal space when you're alone. I don't think he even thinks your space exists anymore, if you mention anything like this to him, he will just stop for a second and say "Your space? You mean our space." He doesn't care what other people think, he will hold you till the day he dies, it's his happy place.

Though, I do think if you mention anything about him being 'clingy' (Please never do don't crush my baby) but if you do, he will never to it again and begin to withdraw.

He has always felt like an outcast, even in his own home. He just need's someone to trust, someone to actually talk to. He needs someone to be there and accept him for who he is, even with his 'flaws' (that are literally non-existent bc this man is perfect)

His worst fear is losing your acceptance, so he will do everything to keep a perfect image of him in your head. It takes a long time for him to break, for him to stop trying to impress you and keep a perfect image for you. You have to tell him how much you love him, and how you always will no-matter what. Holding his face in your hands as you say this, a tear slips down his cheek, you kiss it away.

He is your number one fan, your greatest supporter. It doesn't matter what you do, you sing? You heal? You hunt? He is cheering you on, helping you through any struggles, and constantly bragging about his amazing and beautiful soon-to-be-mate.

Lo'ak swears a LOT, you even jokingly started scolding him everytime after once witnessing his father do so. He lightly pushes your head away, groaning. It pisses him off a bit, but it's worth it for the amount of times he picks on you.

To be completely honest, Lo'ak likes to tease you not because he's a jerk, but because he loves getting a reaction out of you. He loves seeing your brows furrow and the cute pout on your lips. He loves any emotion he can get out of you, yet he would NEVER cause you pain.. if he were ever the reason you were hurt (physically or emotionally) I don't think he would ever forgive himself. He just likes those small, cute reactions he gets from you. Mostly because he made you feel that way.

That's also why this man loooooves to make you laugh. When your happy he's happy, so there are a lot of random jokes that are usually just so f-ing cringy that you just burst into laughter. (Neteyam gets a bit annoyed at the fact that now not only Lo'ak is laughing at a stupid joke about him, but you are also hiding your big smile in his brother's bicep snickering too)

All in all, Lo'ak just wants to feel wanted, and now he has you to give him all the love he needs.

-------

I'm probably going to write more on Lo'ak so give this attention because I need motivation!! lol

[moonlit-dreamers]

Name all your favourite TSAMS ships

fuuucckk dude

this is like asking someone which pet is their favorite you cant do this to me man ;-;

but i might as well talk about some specific ships that ive been rotating around in my brain more recently tho fair warning that a lot of these will have more abusive themes (tho i'll try to be as brief as possible since i dont want this post to go on forever lol)

off to a great start with sunvant/lord eclipse. ik a lot of ppl like to make them fluffy but they got so much toxic potential. like idk man. the power imbalance + lord eclipse being both physically and emotionally abusive is some good shit. sunvant is absolutely and purely devoted to him. nothing eclipse could do would change that. every punishment is a lesson. every reward is a blessing. every command is a job he does happily. yes, hes absolutely terrified of his lord, but isnt everyone? isnt everyone meant to be scared of their god? if he isnt scared then is he really appreciating his lords true beauty and raw power? idk man. some good shit right there

the obvious sun/eclipse. i can never escape them in any form. main dimension sun/eclipse, dark sun/eclipse, sunbeam (eaps sun)/eclipse, sunvant/eclipse. all of the above pls. but if we're going with MAIN dimension suneclipse their relationship could be sooo many things. (which is y i like the ship so much bc its so versatile!) it could be a fixer-upper, abusive, friends/enemies with benefits, you name it. anything and everything is possible with these 2 bitches and its wonderful

sun/solar is actually the first thing i shipped. even BEFORE sun/eclipse. shocking, ik, but i felt like they had sooooo much potential THAT NOBODY FUCKING SAW. like- an emotionally broken down mechanic who feels guilty over the death of his own sun and an anxious mess that just wants to make things better. how could it be any more perfect??? solar coping over his suns death with sun by accepting that hes gone but at least he has another to love and he wont be empty forever. AUGH

solar/eclipse. im fucking rabid over these 2. like idk man. i feel like theyd be so weird about potentially liking someone whos like a distorted reflection of themself. projecting their own self loathing onto each other then realizing just how similar they actually are and how it.. might actually not be that bad. then learning to love themselves by loving the flaws of the other and accepting who they are now. idk man. this is just wholesome thoughts tho dont think for a second i dont have toxic thoughts about them lol

sun/solar/eclipse (are you noticing a pattern yet?) is THE polycule. idc what you say, theyre all kissing each other. fuck you (/silly)

this is for my own au becuzzzz i wont let go of a chance to talk about them :3 we got sunshine(sunvant)/solstice(eclipse) and they are an absolute WRECK. theyre both fucked over by their past and the beginnings of their relationship is so rocky bc sunshine doesnt trust anyone + doesnt understand nor believe he deserves affection (hes also constantly wanting to go back to lord eclipse). meanwhile solstice doesnt even see sunshine as a person and rather as a project to work on (and also an opportunity to maybe better himself. maybe if he can help someone then that means he can be a better person). solar comes in later and while i havent Completely thought about their dynamics i will say that both solar and solstice are very overprotective of sunshine. they both constantly butt heads bc they both want to protect him while sunshine just sits in a corner head in hands trying to figure out how to get them to stop without having his own panic attack (they get better tho dw <3)

anyway uhhhhh i think thats all for now lol

have fun with this info ig

[masterofstringcheese]

i’m on a roll of posting bc this is personally my account to yap about legos

i personally love ninjago because the characters are so diverse in their own: part 1 aka lloyd

lloyds trauma not just being uwu sad and they’re actually a real trust issue that makes him get angry at the slightest bit of betrayal/abandonment

he genuinely has a past of opening up to people that appeal to him in a way he’s lacking: a seemingly good person or a perceived companion like a wolf or dog (akita)

what are dogs known for? BEING LOYAL!! MANS BEST FRIEND!!

lloyd craves the fulfillment of having someone that he can count on to accept him unconditionally

he seems so afraid to accept his oni form and that could possibly be a fear of his friends not accepting his evil side that resides deep down within him

while it seems as if being the green ninja makes him super pure, i believe it means he is deep down just as angry as garmadon yet just as accepting as wu

he’s flawed and that’s the point. he’s selfless almost to a fault. there are times he would’ve been safer being selfish

harumi was a betrayal because she was someone who seemed to accept every side of him, even looking past the gi and being endlessly loyal

…and then she betrays him

akita was supposed to be an unconditionally loyal companion in lloyd’s eyes, as an animal

…so he gets angry when that expectation is shattered

lloyd hates his father for the majority of s16, but does he really? at the end of the day, he wants garmadons approval and gets jealous over a plant.

christofern😞

lloyd takes leader roles, yet at his core he’s still just as confused as to what do as the other ninja

he’s still growing up now because he never got to do it before

the jump from immature petty kid to prophetic savior was quick to us but almost immediate for lloyd

security has never been a constant for him

people only want him for what he symbolizes: control, immense power, strength

not him

the end thanks! i’ll donate 5 bucks for lloyd’s therapy 💥

[dakogutin]

i have a lot of issues about this

im already apprehensive about the live action 2.0 in general and this is just making it worse bcs whyy is azula in book/season 1? and why is she fighting with a bow and arrow??????

azula being introduced in book2 is very important for so many reasons. book 1 is supposed to establish the world, the setting, the roles of the main characters, namely: aang, katara, sokka, and ZUKO. zuko's role in book 1 is the antagonist. he is the face of the fire nation; the enemy. and so many of the episodes highlight how complex he is as an antagonist, mainly through the help of uncle iroh and zhao. we see throughout book 1 that zuko is "flawed" as an antagonist because he has better morals, and the contrast is shown with how zhao's greed literally had him killing the moon spirit. then at the very end, we see a scene of ozai introducing azula, essentially tasking her to fulfill zuko's failed mission and capture the avatar. the whole book 1 is a build up of zuko's role as an antagonist, and book 2 is notably all about change, not just for zuko but also for aang, since their arcs are paralleled. in book 2 aang learns earthbending-- the opposite of airbending, he also learns to control his avatar state, and toph joins their group. similarly, zuko learns to redirect lightning, he and iroh accept their banishment, azula (and friends) enters the story. it's all about change. azula gets introduced in book 2 because-- as ozai intended-- she's taking zuko's place. she is filling his role, but we have a point of comparison. she's deadlier, more eligible(sorry zuko) because of her unfailing loyalty to the fire nation and therefore will have no conflict with morals like zuko or greed like zhao, and her main character trait is obsession with perfection.

which then leads me to my next point, whyyyy is she using a bow and arrow?

her obsession with perfection, as i mentioned, was highlighted in several instances throughout book 2. like this one in her training scene

"almost perfect." ... "one hair out of place."

"almost isn't good enough."

theres a notable symbolism with azula's hair reflecting her perfectionism (i could write about it in detail in a separate post), but it's also manifested in her bending. she is deemed as a firebending prodigy as a child and even lords this over zuko, especially since they were both pitted against each other all the time. as a gifted child who received this as her biggest validation, she naturally grew to become obsessed with perfecting the skill. and now in her quest for the avatar, which was personally appointed by her father to prove that she's better and more competent than zuko, she knows failure would mean being like zuko in her father's eyes. she calculates every move, concluding that she can only rely on her own bending and having her inner circle composed of non-benders: mei and ty lee. of course there's also a factor of her being paranoid with trust and loyalty, but that's another discussion. she only fights with her bending, and she probably considered non-benders lower than her, especially since at that time only the royal family can bend lightning. this is in contrast to zuko who was more versatile, learning to fight with swords(which azula mocked as well, calling it 'playing' instead of training). so, really, why would she use a bow and arrow?

i sincerely hope this was just one scene of her using it in the live action, and that she's not actually an archer. but as i said im not very excited with the idea of having another live action, very much traumatized by the film. so little changes like this make me scared that they're once again going to misinterpret the characters because every detail matters, like azula's later entrance in the story and her perfectionism.

[linabirb]

Hi for the milgram asks

1, 8, and 9 for general questions

1 and 2 for both trials for trial questions

3 for Fuuta, Shidou, Amane, Kotoko, and 5 for Muu for prisoner questions

hi hi thank you sm for the questions!!

"Which Milgram character is your favourite, and why?"

my top faves are mappi, yuno and amane! i really like characters who are like. basically very cute and sweet on the outside but have Something Wrong with them. and these three feel like a very refreshing take on this trope bc mahiru is like. she's not a yandere (even though i do love yanderes..), she's just such a loving person that she doesn't know when to stop and. and i can rely to that a lot 😔 and yuno isn't like, "secretly evil", she's just very cold and empty on the inside and that's all. amane is more similar to characters that i usually tend to like and i love how at the same time she's a very traumatized child, but also i do believe that she committed her murder for the sake of her faith and not.. idk.. self-defense?.. i also like haruka and muu but i also get second-hand embarrassment from them sometimes bc these mentally ill teenagers remind me of myself when i was a mentally ill teenager a bit too much /lh

"Which prisoner do you think you would get on with the least if you met in person, and why?"

honestly i really don't think i would get along with any of them irl 😭 i'd be too terrified.. i think it would most likely be haruka or muu bc long story short i had my experience with people who got a bit too attached to me. did not like that. but also bc i'd just see them as really annoying irl, i'm sorry..

"Which prisoner's signature colour do you like the most?"

yuno's! pink 💞💕💘💝💖💗💓

"Which trial (number) verdict do you agree with the most?"

for trial 1.. i think fuuta? fuuta's crime is something that personally. um. i don't wanna say disgusts me but it's an emotion close to that. sorry to all fuuta fans i really don't care much about him feeling sorry about it and possibly changing, he's a grown man and he should've known better.

for trial 2, im gonna say it. i do agree with haruka's verdict the most. i honestly hate the way fandom treats him as a cute little baby and a pure cinnamon roll and constantly goes "oh okay if you voted him guilty you just hate autistic people", there is something very wrong with haruka and his murder and him killing animals is something that is very. hm. how do i say this. makes me want to punch him or something. i don't care how supportive people say they are, treat him like a normal human being and accept his flaws and accept that he's a murderer just like the others and that his possible disability can explain his actions but doesn't excuse them.

"Which trial (number) verdict do you disagree with the most?"

for trial 1. yeah i think muu should've been voted guilty back then tbh. sure maybe after pain does look sad and make her look like a victim out of context but then you listen to her vd and you're like. the red flags were always there 😭😭 this is not me denying that she was bullied, she definitely was, but it doesn't mean that i can still forgive her that easily AND i say that as someone who was horribly bullied for a huge part of my life.

for trial 2. i look around. i make sure nobody can hear me. i say kazui and refuse to elaborate and leave.

SHSJSKSKKS listen i don't care about kazui. like. at all. he's not my type of character sorry. but i think i'd be more interested in him if the fandom wasn't so focused on his sexuality and ignored other parts of his character. honestly i don't even know if there are any other parts of his character anymore. but i still can't forgive him for what he's done tbh. BEFORE ANYONE SAYS ANYTHING most people are extremely homophobic and transphobic where i live, so i understand his situation perfectly (IF most theories about him really are true), but something about him just. i cannot trust this man. i feel too sorry for hinako honestly. i can talk about this more but i won't because he's this fandom's beloved old man so i'll shut up.

"What do you think of (name)'s verdict/s?"

fuuta: again, he deserved the t1 guilty and i did vote him inno during the second trial because i felt sorry for him, but i wouldn't be surprised if he did something that changed my opinion and made me vote him guilty during the third trial.

shidou: i am so sorry i don't care about milgram guys at all, haruka is like the only exception 😭 i guess his verdicts are. fine? i did vote him inno during the second trial though i'd probably vote him guilty if i got into milgram earlier. just like with fuuta, i will not hesitate to vote him guilty in the future if something happens.

amane: milgram fandom hates children especially traumatized ones that's all im gonna say. yes i can be a bit mean to haruka and muu, but amane is a huge comfort character to me and her experiences are very similar to my own, so seeing the fandom prioritize characters like shidou over A LITERAL CHILD is. hm. hey guys are you normal about children with religious trauma. oh also forgot to add, children with religious trauma who don't act like perfect victims and who can snap and act out and who refuse to accept that they were abused? i'm happy that she finally got an inno verdict (I WAS FIGHTING FOR HER ALMOST FOR THE ENTIRETY OF HER TRIAL..) but i do wish the percentage was bigger. it makes me sad every time i see it.

kotoko: i actually was kinda surprised when i found out she was voted inno in s1?.. like idk when i saw her for the first time, i was like "okay i do not like where this is going"? ig the fandom just went "yesssss you go girlboss" and that's it shsjskks. but anyway congrats on your t2 verdict guilty queen ✨✨

"What do you think of (name)'s song/s?"

muu: i like them! like them a lot! though i don't really vibe with her version of otome kaibou, like it just doesn't sound right to me.. but i do like her mkdr/dscf cover a lot! my fav muu song is probably still after pain, i think inmf is fun, but it's a bit too short for me and it feels kinda incomplete.

[heartburstings]

in my mind bapo is in the late 90s/early 2000s bc if it took place now it wouldn't be as believable for me. i don't mean like "oh this would never happen" or that the message is only valid in that specific time frame. but also that late 90s/early 2000s is a really specific, like... it's that context, for me, which gives a lot of the never-spoken-always-heard-ness of the show. that marriage was only legal in one state, and obviously it wasn't their own; that there wasn't any representation--i mean, there was, but it's dubious if peter or jason had ever heard of them; that there was even any support that they knew of, surrounded only by dubious-but-better-to-be-safe options. for years, since they met and fell in love. of course that felt like forever to peter. of course anytime would feel too soon for jason. of course.

like, i don't mean to water down the pervasive homophobia that still exists today, in churches, in private schools (that kids have to Dorm In!), but we've come so far, really, and there is solace in an online community where there isn't in a private school that's known to be homophobic.

(institutionally anyway; nothing to say of the students themselves. my cousin goes to a private college that is quite never-spoken-always-heard itself, but there was a sorority/secret gsa where the greek letters literally spelled "GAY." they weren't found out for just about decades, iirc. but then they came out as a sort of protest and got shut down... of course the community is still there, and she found it quite quickly. if there is support you look for the signs. but still, still, you are hidden. and it is not as if peter and jason--if there was such a group at their small, tight-knit high school--would have known how to look for it, would have known what to look for, and how to be certain. at that time, homophobia was more acceptable (duh-doy), and as such, more casual and obvious, pervasive, ingrained. no wonder jason is homophobic. i would have no surprise if they didn't even consider the possibility of anyone else in school being queer... i often wonder how they came to come out to each other. how much they would have trusted each other already. to have your one confidant to be your lover, and for only you two to know. no wonder they are so close... no wonder they broke up, while still loving each other so deeply, knowing each other as irreparably well as they did. oh shit i'm digressing. anyway.)

so, here we have two gay teens on their own, who are the only real live queer people they know. they were so isolated. they became even more so when they broke up, and it says so much about how and why it happened, how deeply hurt and betrayed peter felt, when he cut jason off so thoroughly as to not even talk to him for a passing conversation in the hallway, when they used to be fucking desperate for even a fucking second in that hallway.

i don't know. i don't want to romanticize it, and if i am i don't mean to. but there's something about that isolation that makes it hit so much harder for me. the conversation they have in best kept secret, where jason urges peter to trust that time will be kind, and that he later loses trust in it... it makes more sense to me in that context, than it would have been if it took place now, when we have made so much progress that it's easier to trust in. it's still not easy or certain, but certainly we've come rather far.

although maybe i am biased because i get spiralingly upset whenever someone is flippant and dismissive of jason's concerns as if he is stupid for doubting the world and much more faithful in homophobia than he is in god, that he is idiotic for thinking that comphetting was his best option, that he is human and flawed and makes mistakes and wrongs people as a byproduct of wronging himself and can still be a victim all the same because at the end his regret and his self hatred and his fear kills him, and then he gets mocked for it. and so maybe my opinion about when bapo takes place is really more about my love and despair for jason and wanting more sympathy for him (as far as i can see/tell), and real people who made the same decisions as him, than it is about whatever contextual meaning that time provides.

anyway. about the timeframe (not the timeline i love you guys but i do not want timeline discourse again it hurts me every time i see it. i love it and i love each date that's sleuthed out but it hurts me and it has to hurt you guys too right? isn't it stressful to do all that time math??? all the time?? love yourselves. i love you.), what do you guys think of it? while the script never changes and the year is never spoken of, in my mind, the productions are always reflective of when they were performed. i can't help it, i really do think jason and peter are much more visibly/realistically concerned about the people around them in "you and i" in, say, 2004, than they are in like, 2016. they feel more tangible to me. but also i am limited and kind of petty. does time affect the story/production for you guys?

[cjbolan]

i think you should def take a try in listening to the interviews or podcasts of the writers and actors for hotd esp alicent’s character (or looking up the characters on tvtropes!) bc saying hotd alicent isnt morally gray but the book is … is a bit of a misguided interpretation! most of the main cast is to be flawed and grey (or will be grey) in their own ways! none of them meant to be role models but to have the full range of emotion ugly or otherwise that their male counterparts naturally get! (olivia cooke said this specifically.) and i think it makes them more interesting and empathetic

I’ve heard interviews from the cast, and still stand by what I said. Yes all the characters are morally gray. But IMO some characters are more likeable than others. I think some characters have more redeeming qualities. Like Rhaenyra. Despite being a stubborn deceptive liar: Rhaenyra’s also a good mom who’s kind to her kids, treats them all equally , keeps them in line with trust and respect rather than fear, comforts her kids for making mistakes instead of scolding and punishing them. Also loved Rhaenyra and Laenor’s friendship. From their open acceptance of their paramours keeping their politically arranged marriage happy, to how she forgives him for being gay, and fakes his death so he can run away to live a happy life.

As for Alicent…I can’t find anything likeable about her. I can sympathize for how she was used and manipulated by all the men around her into an unpleasant uncompromising situation. But just because I sympathize with her, doesn’t mean I like her. I guess I liked Alicent until Episode 6, when she started projecting all her pent-up frustrations onto her son Aegon. She not only has high standards for him. She abuses him physically, verbally, and emotionally many times. And not once does she ever show any guilt for this. To the point that Aegon eventually calls her out and straight up asks her: “Do you love me?” How hard was it really for her to just say “yes”? Even if she didn’t mean it? Or just give him a hug? If Alicent has ANY redeeming qualities , I guess it’s her trying to stay on good terms with Rhaenyra. But that doesn’t last long.

I agree Alicent is an interesting character. She starts out likeable until tragic circumstances gradually transform her into a terrible person. Much like Daenerys in Season 8. I like Alicent not because she’s an admirable person, but because she’s an interesting character study of how a kind and loveable person can become cruel and horrid to the people they love(d).

[lightningandfireinmybones]

i have read so many many aemond/rhaenyra’s daughter fics and yours just works the best because of so many many reasons.

1. valaena actually has a personality that doesn’t revolve around being aemond’s love interest so kudos to your for actually inventing a new character & giving her so much depth.

2. aemond is not this soft little boy who just acts like a poor puppy in love but he is fierce, obsessed, possessive, murderous, violent, vengeful & only lets valaena access to his true heart so it doesn’t feel like you’re reading about a character that is different from f&b it totally feels so true to his f&b personality.

3. valaena has deep bonds with people who aren’t aemond. jace her elder brother, her protector, the person she trusts & loves unconditionally, the best person she’s ever known & her soulmate. lucerys the other half of her soul, they understand each other in a way no one else can. her mother who she will never stop fighting for. (hate in fics when they make rhaenyra’s daughter switch sides to support aegon’ cause because no child of rhaenyra’s would do that). her mother who she would gladly die for. daemon who she’s so similar to. and i love that you didn’t villanize daemon because he’s not just a hero or this dark villain he’s a complex character who will do unspeakable things for his family & his favorite child is definitely valaena. he loves her so much that he even slowly starts to accept aemond because he knows that her husband makes his little girl happy.

4. valaena and aemond the darker daemyra. repeating their patterns but with so much more intensity. they are gods amongs mortals. they burn together or don’t burn at all (the reference hehehe) they will engulf each other in their flames but they also keep each other warm with those same flames. and the sex ooh oof.

just wanted to say that your fic is so beyond beyond excellent & i hope you become a really successful author because i have read your fic at least 6 times by now & have enjoyed it every single time. the whole fandom worships you.

Hi bestie I don’t even know how to say thank you bc this is so thorough and nice I’m blushing at my desk rn

It was super important to me for Valaena to be real and flawed!! We need more women unapologetically flawed and I’m so glad you liked it🥹 and the bonds!! Can’t believe she loves aemond if you don’t see all the factors that come together to contribute to that love!!! Like her family and the tension and push and pull within a dysfunctional family that does love each other but is caught in the trap of generational trauma

AND LET AEMOND BE MURDEROUS!! I don’t want him better I want him sluttier

alternative title: GENERATIONAL TRAUMA AND THE DOOM OF REPEATING YOUR PARENT’S MISTAKES BUT WORSE

In conclusion thank you I literally read this like six times bc I am a sucker for feedback and it means a lot to me that you took the time to write this all out🥹 may your pillows always be cold and your crops always watered

[khaleesiofalicante]

"I am hungry for touch and ashamed to be looked at" -Safia Elhilo

Alec POV by beloved 🥰🥰 can he pass me some of his wisdom??

The Clave being kinda fuck up as usual I see...

And a leader, no matter how hard it was, had to show up.

That’s how you’re different from everyone else.

You show up.

You hold things together.

You lead.

They are all great leaders and I'm so proud of them😭

Anjali is just... ✨Wow✨ she is the only goodness I will ever swear loyalty to. I am in awe, I respect her, I admire her, I love her, I-

David said what??? I mean, same, but I'm surprised he said it in a Clave meeting....

Yeah, Selena deserves more recognition!!! She is the absolute BEST and we stan😎

The amount of hatred I feel towards Kingsley is unreal. Fuck him and his Idris Patrol🔪🙂

Will the fact that Anjali and Rafael respect and trust Alec's judgement make me cry? ✨Yes✨

Diego, my friend, Alec thought, how proud you must be. Too soon😭😭

Kit is upto something....

YESS Alec!! Get some sense into David's head bc I feel this is going to go south

That’s how Alec knew Rafael was going to be okay.

Good leaders must know how to handle criticism. Good leaders must accept their flaws and admit their mistakes.

Rafael was a good leader. And he will, in time, become a great one too.

He learned from the best 💙💙

Alec and Hunter meeting!!! I need this like, yesterday!!! I'm so excited jdvdkdndn

Nico is so cute and sweet I keep forgetting he's old and smart af!!!

My mind rn: David with kids. David with kids. David with kids. David-

“You’re still in your bad bitch era, Sirenita,” Gabriel grinned. “It has no expiration date.” How can you expect me not to love Gabriel when they do cute shit like braiding Selena's hair and saying things like this???? 🥺🥺

This plan is more complicated than I thought lmaoo

“You must learn how to heal yourself,” Nicolas said.

Selena smiled. “Sure. I’ll do it sometime."

“You must do it soon,” Nicolas said.

Something is going to happen to Selena or to someone she loves bc THAT definitely means he knows something!!!

YESS!! THEY ARE GETTING THE PIECES TOGETHER!!!

He could still hear her screaming. Good. In other news I'm ready for arson🥰🔪🔪

Why does he want 9 cities down????

Why does Claire think it's her fault??? What is she talking about?? Is it just parent guilt or something more??😭

Soldiers who can heal themselves.

Soldiers who can’t be killed.

“I’m trying to play god,” Marcus smiled.

“Dope,” Mallory said distractedly. “Good luck."

FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK. WHY THE FUCK YOU THINK THIS IS A GOOD IDEA???🙂

Mallory, stay tf away from my girls!!!! And stop stealing Max's stuff, it's creepy!!!

I'm a simple person. I see Magnus and Max discussing inmortality issues, I cry :))

“Power doesn’t always change people,” bapak smiled. “But pain does.” THERE ARE MANY FAVE QUOTES!!!

"You will. You can," the man promised. "Because every time you have to climb it, I will climb with you. We can climb together."

Max gave him a small smile. "You can't climb shit in those."

Bapak smirked, looking at his fluffy bumble bee slippers. "Is that a challenge, Blueberry?"

My fave inmortals😭😭😭 can we take a moment to appreciate how no one helped Magnus through all his inmortality crisis (obviously except Ragnor and Catarina when they could) but now Max has a support system and can always go to his bapak or to many more?? Bc I think that's beautiful 💙

Them giving each other their magic, holy shit why do they insist in making me soft??🥺

He pressed a kiss on his forehead. “I want infinity with you.”

A timeless love.

Can we really blame Max? I would also want infinity with David!!! But you promised Magnus, babe!!!

“Maxwell,” Nicolas Thorn said, looking wide awake. “You are late for your lesson.” HOLY SHIT!! Nico teaching Max warlock math😭 I am scared but sooo excited for this!! What did Nico saw in the future?? What are they going to practice?? Ahhh so many questions!!

I support Max's rights, but I also support Max's wrongs and I don't think I'm the only one!!!

Song rec: ... I honestly have just been vibing to Taylor Swift lately... What was your favorite song from the album??? I think mine was "You're on your own kid"😭

Support Max's wrongs or be gone 😤😤

I'm still listening to the album! I did like Midnight Rain a lot 😭😭

[favoringeyes]

i think nazuna discredited the feelings of mitsuru specifically bc even he perceived him pretty shallowly and only saw the mitsuru that was loud, energetic, and always doing smthn that could get him in trouble. which really hurt mitsuru in the end bc he's actually extremely emotionally intelligent and can pick up really easily on what others r feeling he just has a hard time processing his own emotions, which is why he runs in the first place. he feels it's all he can do in order to help himself bc he doesnt have the proper words to convey his feelings, which means it would just be a bother to others, specifically nazuna in this case, to try to express himself. that's what led to him getting hurt in bad boys in the first place. like idk how many people know at first ra*bits were very closed off from each other. on surface level, they knew each other and could trust each other, and it's not like they didnt love on another not at all. but because of nazuna's expectations, they felt they had to hide certain parts of themselves and their feelings. they had to be a certain way in order to survive. but as they got stronger as a unit in general and it wasnt just abt survival anymore, it ends up hindering their progression as a unit, and they have to resolve a bunch of pent up feelings. like tomoya's severe inferiority complex, hajime's general issues with being honest to himself and others, mitsuru's struggle with understanding his own emotions. and in the end nazuna has to learn to accept all of this, the parts of ra*bits that are flawed, and through that he learns to eventually understand his own insecurities and can finally love himself. which allows him to love ra*bits even more, and for ra*bits in general to love each other more. WHAT AM I EVEN SAYING

[loveyoulikeu]

You know what? I liked that porsche kinda has his happy ending with the man he loves, thinking he and his brother have his mother back (she is pretty sus but whatever)

I still dont like the cousins thing but anyways, we have what we have. The dads are dead which is what i wanted. And i like Porsche being the head of the minor family. People really cant believe Porsche can develop to that? I mean why not. Who Kinn will trust more than Porsche and why would Porsche say no to Kinn?! I mean we dont know if he likes it or he is good at it.

The whole Vegas/Pete. Like i said before, good for them. I coudnt have an attachment to this pair because i didnt like the whole dehumanizing but they have pretty good scenes and i can appreciate the actors job to fulfil this very hard pair. (maybe everyone should do the same and respect the actors job and stop with the whole we don’t need scenes from this pair etc. looking to both of your vegaspete and kinnporsche stans)

Kimchay. I liked it. I know people wanted them also to have a happy ending but Chay still sad and like a good gen z he is acting like it! He is a teen! Kim cant communicate for shit. Sending him the random video… ok and what do you want him to do with that? Eat it? I like a good angst and like Jeff said, Kim is acting like this because he thinks is the best to protect Chay… i can accept that and i can appreciate Kim k wording people for Chay.

Wanted more Tankhun. We deserve more Tankhun/his bodyguards. They were ✨❤️

Anyways i enjoyed kinnporsche even if it has its flaws (like any other series) and now i am sad because porsche was my comfort character and im gonna miss his him. Is it kinnporsche the best bl/series i ever watched? I think it is and If not its pretty high on my list. The chemistry the cast have and the details in multiple scenes… god i just want actors who can act and they gave me that and more.

My ranting: 9/10 (i would actually put a 8 because the whole cousins thing but i am biased af bc apo nattawin)

[bloody-wonder]

Wait I wanna hear how aftg deconstructs that narrative

well basically by making character development more subtle and letting the characters keep their personalities

in the hands of a less attentive author - somebody who relies on tropes, somebody who wants to publish traditionally - andrew would’ve had an arc much more palatable to the maintream reader, an arc that may or may not involve apologizing to the people he offended and attacked, having to redeem himself in some way and his personality changing to the point of being unrecognizable - all in the name of demonstrating “healing”. instead andrew’s arc is much more nuanced: it doesn’t involve becoming “nice” or “normal”, other characters aren’t framed as an authority that he has to redeem himself to, the narrative doesn’t force him to conform in order to get respect, understanding and love. instead of having him try to integrate back into society nora says “fuck the society” and gives him neil who bc of his “unconventional” upbringing doesn’t have the same prejudices or expectations as the rest of the characters and therefore is uniquely positioned to understand andrew and meet him halfway. the development andrew goes through has more to do with taking the leap of faith and trusting another person once again as well as with learning to let people go. as a result, at the end of the story he isn’t any less complex or flawed but he is a much happier person, and instead of showing us how he will maybe change in the future nora ends the story after a crucial moment letting each reader imagine the kind of development they’d prefer and can relate to the most.

looks like it’s a common belief that all people are soft on the inside and when some trauma makes them hard and mean they have to just “heal” back to their normal soft selves. based on some reviews and fanon interpretations this is what some (many?) of the fans wanted andrew to do. but he would never! he, who rejoices in telling no to people who want him to change and responds positively only to people who accept him as he is. nora makes other characters show andrew kindness and respect first and she never makes him apologize or seek forgiveness. it probably shouldn’t feel so groundbreaking and yet it does to me.

[epic-sorcerer]

Queer imagery in BBC Merlin

Content warning: kink/fetish, fisting in particular but I show I big image containing a long list of different kinks, homophobia, dom/sub dynamics, sex

Merlin is shown wearing a purple tunic in s4, despite the fact he is a servant and purple(especially with such saturation) was extremely expensive bc purple dye was so hard to make. Gwen also has a light purple dress(or maybe 2? It’s hard to tell). Even though it’s definitely lighter than Merlins tunic, it’s still expensive.

it was illegal for peasants to wear expensive fabrics because of the Sumptuary Law. Basically it makes sure that lower class people are not fashionable. However, BBC Merlin doesn’t seam to care about that law, considering Merlins other bright clothing so take this was a grain of salt.

Basically what I’m trying to say is that there’s no way they could have gotten their hands on these clothes without the help of nobles. Gwen might have, because she works with clothing and could have easily mixed blue and red dye together. Merlin probably not have because he’s never shown to be particularly materialistic or interested much in fashion, despite his bright clothes. Bright Purple would have been much, much harder to get.

It makes the most sense for Merlin and possibly Gwen too to have been gifted such expensive clothing by a noble for being a good servant. I’d imagine Arthur would be the one to give Merlin the tunic and morgana the dresses.

Why does this matter? Lavender(and also purple in general) was considered a queer color starting in the 19th century. Queer men especially were said to possess a “streak of lavender” and a serge of homophobia at the time was often referred to as the “Lavender Scare.” Purple and lavender is still used now to symbolize queerness.

Since Merlin is a modern interpretation of Arthurian myths, it would be perfectly plausible that this symbol was on purpose. Merlin/Arthur and Gwen/Morgana are both extremely popular ships and they are both shown to have a very deep form of trust(Gwen/Morgana being at the beginning of the show). Arthur and Morgana gifting Merlin and Gwen purple clothing could be show them they accept their queerness and/or signaling their own queer attraction to them.

Now, this next symbolism concerns only Merlin/Arthur.

Merlin is shown to have three neckerchiefs.

Navy blue, red, and light grey. Why does this matter? Well, let’s take a look at something called the handkerchief code, also known as the hanky code or “flagging.”

This code has its origins all the way back in time during the Wild West in the USA, but got more popular during the late 20th century in USA and UK gay bars. This code was used mainly by queer men and some nonbinary people to signal to other queers what they wanted sexually. While typically worn in people’s back pockets, a handkerchief could also be worn around one’s neck to show they are a versatile and experienced.

According to this code, Merlin is into;

Red: fisting and getting fisted. This color was hard to get an exact shade from, but the second best option was dark red for double fisting which is honestly so similar I’m not sure if it really matters much.

Light grey: stone topping and getting fucked by a stone top

Navy blue: fucking and being fucked anally

For any one wanting to make their own interpretations of Merlins neckerchief colors(the lighting makes it hard to tell the exact ones) have a look at this handy chart

Not only that, but Arthur is seen wearing a favour on his left arm in s3 ep 4.

What’s a favour? It’s a fabric strip of affection commonly given by maidens to knights before a tournament as a symbol of good luck. It’s often a very important scarf, hankcerchlif , towel, really any bit of cloth that can be tied around someone’s arm. This is also a popular trope in historical media for a female love interest to give a favour to a male one to show chemistry between them.

Regardless of your stance on Merlins gender identity, you have to admit how commonly Merlin is shown to be gender nonconforming(GNC) or otherwise be associated with “womanly” qualities. Especially in a society so heteronormative, the only “pure” option for a knight receiving a romantic gesture would have it be from a woman. If the token was from a queer man, it would also out the noble and cause lots of horrific chaos and destroy both of their reputations.

Even if it was common for women to give knights favours, queer men still existed and with that came romantic gestures—this time hopefully more secret.

Even though the favour on Arthur’s arm doesn’t look exactly like Merlin’s neckerchief, Merlin was the only person to speak with him while preparing for the tournament. Also, the original theorist who I linked in my sources also pointed out that Merlins neckerchief looks lopsided. Almost like Merlin tore off a bit of it and hastily tied it back on.

Although this theory is definitely flawed, it doesn’t matter. Arthur is still wearing a red handkerchief on his left arm. But what does that tell us exactly?

Regardless of wether or not it was Merlin’s, the red is the same shade and also implies Arthur is also into fisting. What about the placement? Sicne it’s on his left, it shows that he is a top/dom, meaning that he prefers to be the one fisting. Since it is worn around his upper arm, it shows that he is simply into the fetish, compared to what other placements mean. In another source, it shows taht upper arm means switch, but because Arthur is wearing it on his left it wouldn’t really make sense for him to signal being a “top-switch” compared to being a top and having the fetish in general.

If you look closely, you can see a different colored stripe on the favour. It’s hard to tell exactly what the color is, it could be yellow, gold, orange, etc. because the color is so dubious, I’ll just leave y’all with a list of color meanings that may apply to Arthur’s favour.

YELLOW: pisser/watersports kink

YELLOW, Pale: spitter/spit kink

MUSTARD: Has 8+ inch dick

GOLD: two looking for one

ORANGE: anything anytime

Also, it’s important to bring up what many in thsi fandom refer to as the “fisting scene.” Where Arthur threatens Merlin by showing him his gloved fist and pulling a bit at the glove.

In the blooper, you can see Merlin’s actor(Colin Morgan) breaking character and giggling as Arthur shows him his fist. Many in the fandom agree that this was a clear innuendo for fisting, and it is very well possible.

Merlin is shown hitting Arthur and saying he was just doing some horse play, but still indirectly convincing Arthur that he needs to teach Merlin a lesson. This is actually a common act in BDSM sex, where the submissive person purposely angers the dominant into punishing them in a way that somehow involves sex or fetish play.

If you look closely, you can see Merlin is wearing at kinky red fisting handkerchief, showing Merlin is perfectly capable of being a submissive fistee. Also, the hanky code also includes other symbols such as latex or rubber gloves that, surprise surprise, also mean fisting. Although it’s more likely Arthur’s gloves where made of leather, it can still further be interpreted as a fisting symbol if you want. Either way, Arthur’s favour still holds water as he is undoubtedly the dom in this situation.

Also, Merlin is very impulsive and a madlad. Tell me he wouldn’t wear his secret fetish symbols infrount of stuck up, Roman Catholics who are none the wiser. He’d probably think it’s hilarious which is probably why he wears them almost everyday. Merlin loves playfully misbehaving(and is also a brat sometimes) so it makes sense for him to have some dangerous fun.

Now, you may be asking. Why does this matter? At the end of the day, it probably wasn’t intentional. Well, there is alwyas room for doupt BUT I do have some ferther proof. One of the co writers of BBC Merlin—Johnny Capps—actually won a Stone Wall Award. You know, an award named after a core part of queer culture?

The award’s website and Wikipedia page say they give the award for art that describes the LGBT experience well. While I am unsure why or what Capps made to be nominated, it still shows he is very much in touch with queer culture. Capp himself even said at an interview about Merlin, “... in the end, deep, deep down it’s about sexuality and things you just can’t tackle head-on.”

Well, what says more about sexuality than the main characters fist fucking each other? That’s a lot of sexuality. While I am unsure of Capp’s age, he does look to be about middle age and it would make sense for him to know about a code popularized in a 70s to 90s. Especially for someone who has made multiple queer oriented stories in his life time.

Sources:

Why is purple considered the color of royalty?

Sumptuary law

How lavender became a symbol of LGBTQ resistance

How Lavender Became a Symbol of LGBTQ Resistance(part 2)

flagging opinicus rampant

Handkerchief code

DO YOU KNOW THE HANKY CODE?

Picspam: The Red Favour (Proof of Arthur Wearing Merlin's Favour in 3x04)

Five medieval love tokens

The Lady's Favour

Hanky codes

Nominees for Stonewall Awards announced

Merlin series 5 spoiler-free launch report

Pls reblog I spent hours on this /np 😭👊