#// but just know that jade is someone with a very heavy heart and he's only holding it together because he's very unfeeling

[muraenide]

For lack of a better word, Jade has a repressed depression. It's contributed by many things that were part of his life while growing up, adding to the pile of feelings that were already repressed on top of his heavy heart. One can say it's the worst combination of many little things to form something intangible, immovable, that it's become a part of Jade that can never be undone. It doesn't help that Jade was born unfeeling, he's been that way since he was a child, so it didn't help that he's never really someone who is very outspoken in the first place. About his discomfort or anything that he plays down as being simply a minor inconvenience and therefore didn't matter.

Antonio has given strong implications that he wants Jade to succeed the Leech family ever since Jade was born. While his Father didn't ask him directly to accept the offer, he's been feeding Jade the idea that he was bred to become his next successor. The Leech parents were strict with their rules, ensuring their children won't be too spoiled to handle bigger affairs. Jade always had a bit more self-discipline and self-control compared to Floyd. He sticks to their parent's rules down to the last one, becoming the child they wanted but never the child they had. Part of the reason he places himself in the situation was also due to shielding Floyd from butting heads too often with their Father. Both are equally hot-tempered, reckless, and unwilling to bend or compromise their principles, which, more often, are the exact opposites of each other.

Jade's tendency to repress unpleasant feelings didn't help. If asked whether his family was happy, instead of defining it by "What makes me happy", Jade would define it with "Nothing here makes me unhappy." and therefore tells others that he guessed his family was a happy one. But the truth is, constantly living with someone like Antonio and being a witness to many other fucked up things he saw in the sea, Jade has slowly and surely been reduced to someone who had no real ambitions, desires, or wants. He doesn't think about his past or his future. He prefers to just live in the present and enjoy whatever is in front of him, enjoy the nice little things, the small happiness. He's happy that way, and he's never felt differently.

The only person Jade ever felt the closest to love to was Floyd (and Julliet, his mother, too in earnest, but she is a more complicated character and deserves an entirely different post), but even so, very little of Jade's love for Floyd can be described to be familial or brotherly. Most of them stem from possession and don't get him wrong, he doesn't see Floyd as an item or a belonging. Floyd is his own person and Jade often leaves him to do his own thing, but Jade is absolutely territorial over any news of Floyd upset or hurt. Akin to a pack member getting bullied by an unauthorized outsider. He can't stand it. It makes him ache with fury and that's the most feeling Jade ever experienced. Outside of rp plotting.

It's common for Jade's intentions to be misunderstood. As far as canon goes he's always someone who's seen as having an ultimatum or double-sided intention when deep down Jade's someone who has trouble even thinking of something he wants to ask from a wish. One way of really tickling him the wrong way is by questioning his intentions for Floyd. Any assumptions that he'd genuinely sell Floyd out upsets him, though Jade's own behaviours and actions don't help — he would never correct any misunderstandings about himself, but the truth is Jade chose Floyd as his brother since birth, he'd die for Floyd. If Jade were to truly hate Floyd, he'd have no reason to keep him around for seventeen years. And even if things between them get a little sour sometimes, Jade was not about to discard seventeen years of companionship like it's nothing. Floyd, to him, is less like a brother and more like an intangible presence he's watched growing up since he was a fry. Always close but also out of reach, separated by something invisible. He regards Floyd as a constant in his life, and he always knew that one day they'll go to separate paths, but until that time comes you just want to enjoy what you have in the present.

These territorial feelings can be transferred to anyone he starts to care about in a plot, in a slow but sure fashion. As long as the other party knows that Jade's not really a lover by the definition of the word. That he might act and look human, but by the end of the day he's just a wild animal in human form.

As for Jade, his fate is solidified that he'll go back to the Coral Sea and succeed his Father and run the Leech family's business. While in NRC he doesn't think of anywhere else he wants to go, to him, duty comes first, and everything else is second.

[luveline]

hi Jade!! I LOVE your remus with my whole heart. can I request remus comforting shy!reader after a bullying incident?!

thank you ♡ cw bullying 

People tend to assume that the entirety of the pain that stems from experiencing bullying is just the hurt, but a bigger part is the shame. How can you allow someone to do this to you? Where's your backbone? 

You're sure Remus is thinking it as he pulls egg shells from your hair. What else could he think? What grown woman allows her housemates to smash eggs against her head, in her own kitchen? He's been quiet since he picked you up, sniffling on the side of the road outside of your house with nothing more than your purse. 

He drops a last egg shell into the sink. You're standing beside it, the few inches of height he has over you feeling taller and taller as the night goes on. You've never felt so small in your life. 

"That's all of the shell." 

You avoid his eye. "Thank you." 

His hand bumps your stomach. Careful, Remus draws a line to your sternum, where it curls into a ball. It presses tight to you as he steps close, forcing you to raise your head. 

"What are you thinking?" he asks. 

"'M embarrassed, mostly." 

"What do you have to be embarrassed of?" he asks, his hand leaping up. His fingers spread across your chest, and it's all a little much. 

You slip from between him and the counter top with your shoulders pulling up like they've been tied with string, a corset yanked in. "You know what," you say miserably. 

Remus catches up with you. He's more cautious now, asking before he touches you. "Can I have your hand, lovely?" 

You give it to him because you're desperate to know that someone likes you. Remus loves you, evident in the tenderness with which he takes your hand, and how he doesn't flinch when you start tearing up. 

"If you're embarrassed by what someone else did to you, that's okay, but there's no need. No need." 

"You don't think it's pathetic?" you ask quietly. 

His tone —that bordered stoic only moments ago— threatens to crack. "It's not pathetic. It's pathetic how those girls treated you, and it's pathetic that I haven't done better looking after you. But you're not pathetic, sweetheart. You're just not. They're cruel, sour girls who–" Remus bites off his sentence to touch his nose briefly against your cheek. "You're not pathetic. You're anything but." 

"Why do they hate me so much?" you whisper. 

"I don't know. But it's something wrong with them, and not you. There's a level of meanness to this that can't be antagonised, sweetheart, I can't imagine how you'd ever deserve it." He wraps his arm around your shoulders with care. "Let's go wash your hair, yeah? Can we do that?" 

Remus hasn't washed your hair before. You're not sure how to cope with it. The aching tears slow, a weird pain you could almost say feels cathartic taking root as you close them against the shower spray. Remus hums a loving sound under his breath as he wets your hair, washing out the stringy whites and slimy yolks. You feel it trickle down your back. 

"I love you very much," Remus says suddenly, breaking a comfortable if heavy silence. "I know it doesn't make this sort of thing better, but I think I know you well, I know you're sweet, and kind, and you have so much love to give. If they can't see that, it's because they don't want to."

He makes it sound infallible. You know it isn't anything that grand, they aren't thinking of you like he is. They just don't like you because of something you've said or done, or not said or done, and they're comfortable expressing it. Maybe that's your doing for being meek, but when Remus says it like this, you could believe it isn't your fault at all. 

"It does make it better," you confess. Knowing you have him on your side, and that he thinks highly of you, definitely makes it easier to cope with. 

"You're good as gold. I promise I'll make this better." 

Remus finishes washing your hair. The longer he touches you the more flustered you become, worse when he wraps you in towels and then a dressing gown and then thick blankets, marking each layer with a kiss. He sits at the middle of the bed to pull your legs into his lap, massages moisturiser into them in quiet. It would be a miracle if he couldn't feel the capering skip of your pulse beneath it. He's touched you tenderly a hundred times before but this is different —he's seeing you at your very lowest, and he's building you back up. 

His hand rests on the soft inside of your thigh. "You don't ever have to go back there again. Me and the boys could pack your things, I'll help you pay the rent that overlaps. You don't have to… well, you can stay with me as long as you need. I'd love to keep you." 

You rub your hot cheek with the side of your hand, looking down at his arm and its stark green veins. 

"You're so good to me," you say. 

Remus takes on a teasing, almost blasé attitude, arms winding behind your back and pulling you close as he says, "You deserve good!" passionately enough to trick a smile from you. "I have no choice but to be good to you. I can't help it. I haven't tried otherwise, obviously, but nothing in me ever wants to. I meant everything I said, yeah? You're my sweetheart." 

You breathe out of your nose, unable to meet his eyes. He shuffles closer across the bed, kissing your warm cheek. "Sorry. I'm embarrassing you." 

But it's like he said earlier: you've nothing to be embarrassed of. 

[merakiui]

time loop angst where floyd is destined to live the same day over and over with you, and he can't understand why that is. it's such an unremarkable day, too. just the two of you living life. it was fun the first few times, but now he's lost count of how many days have been lived in repetition and it's so boring. the only thing that makes it bearable is his little shrimpy. he's happy you're here with him, stuck in this insufferable time loop, otherwise he's sure he'd have gone insane from the repetition.

it isn't until floyd realizes that, outside of the loop, you're gone. you've been gone for years, and you're never coming back.

suddenly, the happy days aren't so pleasant. suddenly, he's forced to confront the very thing he's been avoiding.

the loop will end once floyd finally accepts it and moves on, intending to heal. he's been so stuck in his own head, unable to let go of the ghost of you, that he's put himself in this loop.

the worst part of it is that you don't know anything. the shrimpy he wakes up to every morning is so very tangible. you smile, you kiss him, you hug him. your heart is beating in your chest. you're breathing, alive in his arms like everything's okay.

floyd knows it's not right to stay in the loop, even though he desperately wants to. it'll only hurt him more, but goodness does it feel wonderful to embrace you after years apart. half of him doesn't want to move on. it's difficult to get out of bed when he's grieving. it's difficult to find the motivation to breathe and eat and do everything that often came normal to him before your passing. he has to try.

even when he feels stagnant, crushed and heartbroken, the world is always continuing in its usual current.

he has to try. it's all he can do. move forward and try even when it's a challenge.

the next time floyd wakes his bed is empty. he sits up in a dark room, the curtains closed to block out the sun. someone's been ringing his doorbell for what's felt like hours. he peers around the room. you're not here.

the loops's been broken.

floyd drags himself out of bed. the floor is covered in clutter: trash and dirty laundry and crumbs. he should clean that. you used to gently nag him when things got too messy, and he'd always listen. he's not sure how many days or weeks or months he's lived in the same t-shirt and sweatpants, so it's refreshing when he finally strips them off and showers. he doesn't think much. he moves on autopilot. the water feels nice.

the doorbell keeps ringing. floyd, simmering in his irritation, throws it open, ready to deliver a hard punch to whoever's stupid enough to stick around and bother him on this unremarkable monday morning.

jade stands on the other side of the door, holding a bag from the local bakery and a container of what looks to be homemade takoyaki. azul is just a few inches behind, fidgeting awkwardly on his feet. he's clutching a bouquet. it's a happy one, unlike the many mourning arrangements that were sent by friends and family in the wake of your passing.

floyd blinks at them, confused. "what's up?"

they stare back, owlish. azul clears his throat. "you... you're doing all right?" his tone is careful, treading lightly.

"you haven't been answering your phone," jade adds gently, cluing him in on one of the reasons for their concern and, thus, their arrival.

"oh. yeah, my bad. s'not charged. kinda forgot to keep up with it." floyd cards his hand through his hair, exhaling a heavy sigh. "didn't feel like talkin' to anyone, so i didn't want anyone callin'."

"would it be okay if we step in? we've brought your favorites."

floyd glances into his apartment for a minute and then back at jade and azul. he steps aside, shrugging. "be my guest."

he's going to try. for your sake. for jade's sake. for azul's sake. for his mother and father's sake. for his own sake.

he's going to try. one day at a time.

sitting at the table, eating takoyaki and chatting about simple, mundane things, floyd feels peace for the first time in years.

he's going to try. one day at a time.

[intotitties]

Hi!!!! Can I request a Kit Tanthalos x shy!reader (friends to lovers) where Kit gets jealous? Like they’re on the quest just walking and camping all the time but Reader gets to know one of the mates and Kit seems jealous! Feel free to do whatever ofc I’m just giving my ideas!🫶

Kit Tanthalos x reader

warnings: its all happening after the series, jealous!Kit who can’t express her feelings, Boorman and Jade being the best emotional support (nah), fluff

a/n: i need more Kit requests please, and i hope you enjoy!! i actually had a few ideas for this but i hope it’s as good as the other ones:)

-ˋˏ ༻❀༺ ˎˊ-

-ˋˏ ༻❀༺ ˎˊ-

You, Kit, Jade, Boorman and Elora were in the middle of the quest, when a group of trolls started chasing after you. Yall had to hide in the magic forest, where they couldn’t find you.

— We should rest, it’s getting dark and i definitely don’t want to get lost in there - said Boorman as he started making a campfire.

❃ Kit and you have been friends almost for a year now. You were always a curious person, and thats how you ended beyond the barrier. The desire to know what the world beyond looks like took over. You just wanted to look around but you just couldn’t leave like that, so you decided to go further. When you were wandering and looking at the views you heard whistling sounds, and you knew it wasn’t a good omen, so you ran to the nearest place where you could hide. You wanted to leave as soon as possible, when you tripped over some branch and fell into water. A groan escaped your mouth at the thought of going back home wet, when you heard someones laugh. That’s how you met her. Kit was distant at the beginning, but you two became really close friends since then.

Kit helped Boorman with the campfire while you lied down under a tree, talking to Elora.

— How does it feel to do.. magic? - you asked, your head on her thigh while she was playing with your hair.

— Hm.. strong? - she chuckled quietly.

You smiled softly, noticing Kit whispering with Boorman and Jade.

— I’ll be back in a minute — you said to Elora as you stood up, going in their direction. It seemed like they didn’t notice you, since you approached them from the back.

— I know.. but it’s scaring me - you heard Kits trembling voice.

— I think you should just talk to her, she’s the gentlest soul i’ve ever met, i’m sure she won’t hate you - Jade said as she put her hand on Kits shoulder.

— What’s up? - you said quietly, definitely scaring the shit out of them.

Boorman nudged Kit and gave her a suspicious look.

— Yeah, can we talk? - she sighed as she stood up.

You nodded and followed her further into the forest.

After a while, she looked at you, and even if you couldn’t see her face clearly in the dark, you knew something was off.

— Is.. everything okay? - you said, shifting from one leg to another.

— Yeah it’s just.. i don’t know how to say it - she said, her eyes seeking for help in Boorman and Jade, who only made hearts of their hands and laughed at eachother.

— We’re friends right? You know you can tell me everything - you grabbed her hands and looked at her poorly lightened face.

— You should stay away from Elora - she said after a longer while.

— ..What? I know you two don’t like eachother very much but-

— You don’t get it! - she shouted before you could finish your sentence. well, it clearly didn’t go the way she wanted to.

You looked at her in shock, she’s never been like that before.

— Enlighten me, because i’m not going to stay away from my friend because you told me to! - you said angrily.

— Please.. - she whispered, her head down.

— No Kit! Tell me now! What’s your problem? - you pressured her.

Instead of any response, you felt her cold lips aggressively crash into yours. Her hands on your arms, pulling you as close as possible. The silence was filled with your heavy breaths and quiet moans. She wanted this moment to last forever, to always keep you close and never let go. One of your hands traveled into her hair, while the other caressed her cheek as the kiss got softer.

— I love you.. and seeing you this close with Elora or anyone else just makes my blood boil. i want to change for you, to start expressing my feelings and talk about them, i want to be a better person for you. and i know we can’t be together but i just.. can’t help myself from falling for you more and more with every single day we spend together - she looked at your still shocked face - you don’t have to say anything, i completely understand and respect that if you don’t want to be my friend anymore.

— You’re right, i don’t - you said quietly after a while of collecting your mind, her sad face made your heart drop - Because i do.. love you too - you looked into her eyes.

She immediately trapped you into a tight hug and picked you up, making you wrap your legs around her waist. Even tho the thought of being in love with a girl scared her, it was the best day of her life.

— I love you so much - she whispered, a single tear running down her cheek.

You didn’t even know how many times you’re going to hear these words from her.

-ˋˏ ༻❀༺ ˎˊ-

[weirdmageddon]

long meditation on jade and dave's relationship - part 1

here's a three-part heavy homestuck meta. took me about 3 days to scrobble together and format and everything

part 2 part 3 cooking

i apologize in advance for the disorganization of my thoughts. after writing it i realized this is probably one of the clearest glances into how my mind thinks associatively so everything relates in some way to something else in here. the foundations for my thoughts might be invisible to others because they can’t see the connections ive built upon but you can probably see them here, and that strong foundation is also why i care so much about them and why i chose to lay it all out. sometimes i feel like i have Got to get this tangled associative web out of my head and into some form of writing so other people can be like, “oh so This is why you have so much to say” and can just. see into my head and where it all comes from for me. people have expressed interest and the general opinion tends to be that people like hearing my thoughts a lot so yeah. pov you are in my brainwebs. seatbelts everyone get on the magic school bus in that bitch

some time ago i saw this post i saw as i was going through florals jade tag again. my homestuck hyperfixation flared up again and ive been hyperfocused on dave and jade and particular just absolutely entering these monotropic black holes over them and turning them around at different angles and looking at discussions and what people thought both now and in the past and now that im older i can appreciate them even more. ive always been a fan of dave and jade both, but i cant even lie dave has my whole heart so maybe im biased as well. but i like to believe that regardless of my liking for dave and interest in not even x-ray scanning him just straight up 3D mri scanning him and rotating him in my head that my argument is still very reasonable. i just understand his psychology a lot

i want to preface this by saying i absolutely love floral and im so glad she’s on the hsbc team because i know she can do jade harley justice. one of the best jadesters fr. we all come into media analysis with different personal experiences and perspectives, and i understand this was from her perspective as someone who had run ins with dumb boys and relates a lot to jade which is why she can put so much love into her <3 i just found myself disagreeing with some of the arguments that she presented in that post just as a peer who also read the comic from my own perspective. keep in mind i also love jade to bits and want the best for her

so yea this isn’t a targeted post at all. it just got the juices flowing and inspired me to actually write my pre-existing thoughts down and i used it as a springboard for them

i think it ended up being pretty insightful overall especially because i was stoned as fuck writing it and ive come to realize being stoned amplifies and improves the output of my deeply inwardly associative thought processes tenfold. or maybe weed just changes how significant it feels. maybe a little of both

part 1: on using davesprite as a basis for interpreting jade's relationship with all daves

i love what hussie does with alternate versions of characters and. it’s one of the coolest things about homestuck’s characterization. like floral quoted:

… we see that Jack is a simple man, no matter what name he goes by. He is, if not much else (and he’s not), impatient and violent. We only got the briefest glimpse into these qualities when we were first introduced to him on Derse. But now we get to spend much more time with him, albeit in the form of a completely different character. This is another bit of sneaky utility provided by this intermission tangent. It serves as an arc to help indirectly characterize the villain of the early acts. Having multiple copies of a character operating in totally different circumstances turns out to be a great stealth characterization tactic, and it gets used much more aggressively later in the story. In fact, it proves to be inseparable from one of the story’s most essential themes. (Hussie’s Intermission commentary)

so i agree in principle and think the alt self thing is fucking brilliant

however, i disagree with the argument it’s supporting.

So, not the same character, but if switched, I would go out on a limb and say that Dave would experience all the same issues as Davesprite did, but without the “bird” part acting as an easy explanation. That doesn’t make Dave responsible but it does speak volumes to how their personalities respond to each other, insinuates that a relationship involving any Dave would end badly for Jade and that “Real” Dave indeed has Some Issues To Deal With.

i don't agree that dave and davesprite should be compared in this context. yes they are splinters of the same character and floral is right on the money in that canon deflecting the relationship failing on "bird issues" doesn't really explain anything meaningful, but i do not think its the case that all of jade’s relationships with dave are doomed to fail because of what we saw with jade and davesprite.

yes, if switched, dave strider would be practically identical to davesprite since they were the same exact person until a branch in the timeline

however, it's the unique things davesprite has been through that made him like this. davesprite has baggage that dave doesn't. a timeline where john was tricked into fighting his denizen early and died and jade couldn't get in on time and was presumably wiped out dinosaur style on earth. with alt future dave's year-worth of knowledge, gear, loot, and experience, he rescinded his player status and "realness" as a human person to be a game guide for his naive past self right before the timeline split in order for himself and his friends to continue existing.

that would mess anyone up mentally. it's no wonder he's jaded, no pun intended. he's depressed as shit and bitter and probably has trauma issues unrelated to his bro, though they do compound on it. yes they both experienced bro's abuse but i'm talking about the differences between alpha timeline dave and davesprite; right now im not going to talk about things that are the same about them prior to the timeline split because it applies to them both so it's redundant.

essentially what's setting them apart is their experiences playing sburb, their chronological age (alt future dave/davesprite had been making timeloops over a span of four months and he says that in total the time from his chronological perspective is close to a YEAR in sburb grinding shit out before he goes back), their relationship to their friends and how their friends see them and how they see themselves, their ontological natures as beings, what their purposes are.

davesprite had his ontological status as a person and purpose changed. he assumed he'd be the one playing and doing important main shit in the alpha timeline with all his friends but then it turns out that wasn't the case due to the events that went down in his timeline. and becoming a sprite solidly changed his degree of existence. davesprite's best friend john asking if he can talk to "the real dave" is when i think he realized just how fucked up his existence as a person has become despite him doing pretty much everything for everyone for nearly a YEAR before the alpha timeline was even able to get properly started. if davesprite didn’t exist, nobody would have (john needed to live to do ectobiology). davesprite knew this and weaponized it against john who john treated as a secondary, lesser dave. so of course he’s kind of an asshole. it’s like his efforts and sacrifices meant squat to the people he considered his best friends because they didn’t experience it. to john he just suddenly appeared from the future and became a sprite.

this is heavy shit for davesprite that alpha timeline dave does NOT have to go through and it did change him in ways that cannot be said about alpha timeline dave. this is not a universal dave experience. so while it’s true that dave has the capacity of act like davesprite under those exact circumstances, alpha timeline dave didn’t undergo those that led to davesprite’s more miserable traits. therefore i don’t think it’s fair to conflate jade’s failed relationship with davesprite in particular as informing of how most of jade and dave’s relationships would unfold, because davesprite has been in exceptionally tragic circumstances, coming to terms with the state of his own existence. the last thing davesprite needs is romance. alpha timeline dave does not carry this burden.

Everyone believed that what was creating the dissonance wasn’t a central part to Dave’s character but an aftereffect of Bird Syndrome. Which you can’t blame them for because there’s nothing that would lead them to think differently. Every character besides Dirk is completely in the dark about Bro’s abuse and Dave stated he’d probably never tell any of the Betas. Which is fine, no one’s owed to know somebody’s baggage. But when you don’t give people a means to understand what you’re going through, especially when it leads you to hurt them, its only inevitable everyone’s going to be confused and going to come to conclusions using what they do know.

rebuttal to this: as i said earlier i don’t buy the whole bird issues thing and i get the handwaviness about being fused with a bird being john’s explanation for davesprite’s bullshittery. however i think it’s important to mention that john and jade both question if becoming a sprite might have had something to do with his change.

being fused with a bird never bothered him, as jade says. it was all the other baggage that came with the prototyping.

this includes playing the game for way longer than anyone else and mindlessly grinding from the ground up for about a year, then turning himself into a game construct and having his ontological level of existence as the platonic ideal form of dave strider lowered in the eyes of his friends.

JOHN: like what? JADE: its hard to explain JADE: just some slight differences in personality i guess JOHN: he still raps sometimes. JADE: yes... JADE: so? JOHN: i just thought i would mention that. JADE: ok i will admit i cant really tell if his rapping style has changed JOHN: trust me, it hasn't. JADE: i dont know if the differences are because he is a sprite JADE: or because he lived for a while in a different timeline... (p.4733)

JOHN: why is he such a basket case? he's like regular dave, but like, aloof enigma edition. JOHN: maybe it's because he's part bird? i think becoming a bird and a sprite did something weird to him. JADE: i dont think being a bird ever bothered him JADE: like i said... its all more complicated than that JOHN: normal dave was so much more level headed. JOHN: i have to admit, i spend a lot of time wondering what he and rose are up to. JADE: me too JOHN: ehh... JOHN: maybe it's for the best he broke up with you. JADE: why? JOHN: well, what kind of future do you think you would have with him? JOHN: he's a sprite. like really, what even is a sprite? how long do they live? will he still be around if we win the new game we are allegedly trying to get to? JADE: i dont know (p.5294)

as for the bro abuse thing, i can’t tell if floral’s position here is that davesprite is fucked up and had a failed relationship with jade because of bro’s abuse, and that dave would also necessarily have failed relationships with jade because he had the same experiences and also doesn’t tell anybody? the wording there is kind of vague and can be interpreted in different ways but that’s how i interpreted it.

they are right that bro’s abuse is something dave keeps to himself. but remember that dave has also deluded himself about it to cope. he doesn’t know what to think of it himself. both alpha timeline dave and davesprite have this baggage, but we explore it more with alpha timeline dave.

i know dave said in the post-retcon timeline when having a conversation with dirk that he could never tell karkat all of this or any of the betas about his abuse. but i still find this pesterlog interesting and i want to put a spotlight on it. even while dave was still chugging that copium, jade was the person he was closest to opening up about the nature of his relationship to his bro at this point. remember this is quite early on in the comic and he didn’t have 3 years on the meteor to contemplate it yet when he said this to her, his bro had just died at this point

GG: anyway dave im really sorry about your bro/dad GG: you were pretty close with him right? TG: meh it was a pretty bizarre relationship by any standard TG: fightin off wave after wave of face pumicing puppet ass every day TG: always being on guard for stealth attacks in the middle of the night while getting up to go to the fucking bathroom GG: heheh TG: but i guess it all sorta amounted to some vague unspoken semblance of kinship TG: if thats a thing TG: like if honor among thieves is something then lets call it camaraderie among ironic rapping roof ninjas TG: but thanks GG: sure TG: i thought about taking his sword TG: when i was there TG: but i couldnt TG: couldnt really bring myself to try to pull it out it was too weird GG: dave we have to stop him!!!!! TG: what GG: jack! GG: he shouldnt get away with this TG: you think (p.3204)

even if he’s in denial about it, deciding to point out the positivity he can rationalize about it to avoid spending too much time thinking deeply about it (it makes him uncomfortable), he’s getting closer to acknowledging the truth here that shit wasn’t normal, about it being “bizarre” and you can tell hes being genuine here when he thanks jade for her concern about his loss

dave then continues talking about his thoughts/feelings on the situation after jade says “sure”, as if he took her concern as an invite to open up about his thoughts even when it’s something vulnerable for him that he tried putting on false bravado in front of terezi about. jade then abruptly changes topic to what’s to be practically done about these tragedies—dave was still on the topic of his bro and she changed the topic to jack noir without clarifying, hence he goes “what”

this is interesting because terezi tried to get something out of him about this and was met by riddly puzzlecock and false bravado but he’s pretty straight up about his current feelings with jade. basically it really depends on the person dave is talking to.

in this specific argument, floral approaches grimbark jade solely from the position of her being uninhibited which is true in many ways, but grimbark jade is also quite nefarious and not in her right mind. i think that even if jade were unihibited and spoke her mind, she wouldn’t have it in her push the mayor into lava to get dave to fight her. thats the evil. floral does acknowledge this in a separate post though, but it’s not really touched on in her argument im discussing. i also want to reiterate that even though it might seem like im violently ripping this post limb from limb its really just something to bounce my pre-existing thoughts off of. this is all written with civility towards and respect for floral

even roxy says something about this—that the schtick doesnt suit her. like it doesnt feel like something she’d have the natural capacity to really be without some external influence

ROXY: so alt grannydaughter english ROXY: whyre u part dog + evil lookin JADE: DO NOT CALL ME THAT!!! ROXY: what JADE: my surname is harley not english JADE: but you may refer to me as jade, or ma'am if you are feeling especially nervous and deferential JADE: which as it turns out is the way you should be feeling about me, ALWAYS >:B ROXY: LOL!!! JADE: lol WHAT ROXY: jade i am in no way buying that ur normally this pompous and tyrannical ROXY: the shtick rly doesnt suit you its so obvious (p.6291)

so i don’t think everything jade says here should be taken to heart about her real feelings or how she would express them if she was being genuine as her normal self. we know jade can get mad but i think we’re giving her evil possession a little too much credit

that’s why i was personally disappointed in grimbark jade when homestuck was ongoing, is it felt like it didnt really give us anything? it was like empty calories while just waiting for the regular jade to come back which she never did. it is interesting to look at in retrospect to see if there’s anything there but…grimbark jade isn't exactly a reliable narrator. i guess none of them are but like, especially not grimbark jade. if i can’t separate what’s genuinely jade under this mess from what isn’t then what’s the point?

like for example this was left out of floral’s argument when showing this part, but in the comic grimbark jade tells dave that he’s “more messed up inside than davesprite” …. right after dave wouldnt comply with her demands to fight her and doesnt want to fight lord english. that’s…not really telling about anything at all for either of them. jade is evil and if things dont go the way she’s programmed to get them to go she’s gonna flip her lid. this is what i mean about her not being in her right mind

JADE: the fact is youre going to have to rely on those powers if you want to stand any chance against a lord of time JADE: it is safe to expect he can only be challenged by someone with a similar command over the aspect DAVE: why is that safe to expect DAVE: where are all these presumptions coming from DAVE: if you can use swords why dont you take the welsh cueball sword and fight him yourself DAVE: i bet you could fuck him up DAVE: youre probably even more extra strong now that youve succumbed to the bark side DAVE: did you ever think about that JADE: dave i am perfectly aware of the awesome powers granted to me by the bark side JADE: it does not matter JADE: i cant be the one to wield your sword against english JADE: it has to be you JADE: it is the will of the empress, and thats final DAVE: the empress can suck it DAVE: i have no intention of fighting him DAVE: and this isnt even me pulling more lame self aware reluctant hero junk DAVE: i am just straight up not going to do it DAVE: see thats not reluctance its just petulant refusal on my part DAVE: reluctant hero shit is when the guys like aw shucks i dunno if i wanna but deep down we all know he really does DAVE: but i really dont DAVE: why should i DAVE: i dont give a damn about lord english or his nebulous atrocities out in nowherespace DAVE: what kind of villain is someone you never met who hardly did anything evil to you or your friends directly DAVE: or even to anyone in your universe for that matter other than through some vague insidious influence DAVE: who even is this guy and why should i hate him DAVE: am i really supposed to be pissed off at a green muscle monster i never met DAVE: cause i aint pissed off at no muscle monster DAVE: hell wasnt he in some ass backwards way responsible for us existing in the first place? DAVE: or all of humanity for that matter?? DAVE: maybe i should thank him before chopping him up via welshscalibur JADE: jeez you sure have some issues JADE: honestly it has become very tiresome listening to this sort of thing JADE: i thought davesprite had problems JADE: his issues i could kind of understand JADE: i thought you might be different, being the alpha dave and all JADE: but no JADE: you might be even more messed up inside than he was! DAVE: what DAVE: why are you dragging that guy into this (p.6385 / 6386)

part 2

[theresattrpgforthat]

Found your blog by chance, seems like a very cool concept!

ʕっ• ᴥ • ʔっ🫖🍵

I wonder if you have played Warhammer Fantasy RPG, and if you have any thoughts on it, or who you would recommend it to bonus question, any rules light one session RPGs with ready example scenarios you'd recommend?

Hello there! I do not have any experience with Warhammer in any of its forms, unfortunately. The closes I’ve gotten to experiencing anything Warhammer is the actual play episodes hosted on Fandible. I’ll post links to each of their episodes below.

Only War | Black Crusade | Age of Sigmar | The Black, the Grey & the Skaven | Wrath & Glory

Now, let’s see if I can do anything about the second half of your request!

Theme: Rules-Light Single Sessions.

A Complicated Profession, by Always Checkers Publishing.

A Complicated Profession is a light-hearted sci-fi TTRPG for 3 to 5 players. It's a one-shot that usually lasts a few sessions. What do bounty hunters do when the galaxy no longer needs them? In this game, they start new careers hosting intergalactic cruises!

Reunite your disbanded crew of jaded sidekicks, shabby droids and shady accomplices. Then pick a hosting role and start a new life together. 

While it may last a little longer than one session, I’m really excited about A Complicated Profession, as my game group will be playing it in about a month or so! Character creation is something of a fill-it-in mad-libs style process, which I can foresee being pretty quick and easy to set up. The tone of the game is really lighthearted as well, which I think is a great thing to look for when playing one-shots, especially if you’re playing games with folks you don’t know very well. I I don’t know game doesn’t have a predetermined scenario, but the focus of the game itself is pretty narrow, so I think it would be pretty easy to figure out what kinds of obstacles your retired bounty hunters will be up to.

Never & More, by Small Stories.

You are the newest recruits of The Society of Ushers, an occult secret society. Your mission is to prove yourself to your superiors, master the rituals required to move up a rung, and learn how to talk to ravens. Your direct superior and teacher, the Belfry-Devil, has finally deemed you suitable to circulate by yourselves amongst greater society, trusting you to remain faithful to the Ushers in the face of attempted poaching, targeted seduction, and superior parties.

This is a simple example of the kinds of games that exist in the Lasers-and-Feelings family of games, all designed around the concept of two core stats that tell us about your characters’ strengths and weaknesses. Many L&F games come with a few quick steps to create your character, a specific setting or mission, and a series of roll tables to help the GM construct a threat and series of obstacles. If you like rules-light games that are quick to read and occult settings, you might want to check out this game.

For Moria, by Luis Lasbelin.

With the Balrog dead, the hope of retaking Moria is more alive than ever. Thousands of dwarves gather from the great fortresses hidden beneath the mountains with the sole purpose of fighting to reclaim the once great dwarven stronghold.

For Moria uses the Breathless game system for games of terror and tension.

Breathless games are meant to put your characters in heavily dangerous situations, with resources that are guaranteed to run out. Because of this, I think they are a good fit for one-shot games, because there’s always the chance that your character meets some kind of doom. Because this game is about dwarves retaking Moria now that the Balrog is dead, I’d say that the setting does a lot of heavy lifting, assuming your characters are familiar with Tolkien’s Middle Earth. Definitely worth checking out.

Wolf Head, by A.C. Luke.

The King is just. Rather than execute you, he cursed you with the head of a wolf. Instead of death, you were exiled to be hunted for the rest of your days.

But now, the King needs you, or someone like you. There is a great crisis threatening the realm. If you were to solve it, he would remove the curse, pardon you of your crimes. What would you be willing to do for absolution?

WOLF HEAD is a dark fantasy tabletop role-playing game about medieval fable and what you will, and won't, do to be let back into the fold. Players take on the roles of wolves, criminals cursed with a wolf head and banished from society. You have become defined by your crimes—did you commit murder, foment revolution, speak heresy, or love the wrong person? And will what you did help or hinder you in clawing back what they took from you?

Wolf Head looks to have the capacity to be either a one-shot or take place over a large campaign. The game is meant to be zero-prep, which means that you can get a game up and running in no time, and the structure of quests means that you can start a one-shot with a specific quest that ends the session once it’s been accomplished. I don’t own this game, so I’m not sure if it comes with pre-written scenarios, but if it doesn’t, I’m expecting some tools to help you create your own quest pretty quickly.

Escape from Dino Island, by Sam Tung & Sam Roberts.

Escape from Dino Island is a thrilling adventure game about intrepid heroes trapped on an island overrun with creatures from a lost age—dinosaurs!

Players take on the role of everyday people who are brave and competent, but also in over their head. The game is designed to help you create the kind of stories that are full of action and suspense, but in which fighting is rarely a good option. Will you escape with your life? And what kind of person will you become in your quest to survive? There’s only one way to find out…

As a one-shot PbtA game, Escape from Dino Island starts you with a pretty tight premise: you’re trapped on an island populated with dinosaurs. Your characters all have different strengths that can help them get off the island, but one thing you have very little of is time. This is another story-first kind of game, but unlike other PbtA games, which require multiple sessions to tease out all of your character conflicts, Escape from Dino Island is meant to be played in one sitting, which means that any advancements available to your characters are expected to show up before the end of the first session.

Operation: Final Monarch, by poor students.

Operation Final Monarch is a one-page Tabletop RPG for 4-6 players. One player will act as the GM, providing obstacles, portraying passengers, and describing the Watchful Luftrahmer. You play as Infiltrators, spies from the fallen countries around Arstarkan. Your final mission is to kill Aleksander Von Korte.

When situations get risky you gamble with danger and can always push your luck to try to succeed in any situation. Be careful not to roll a 1 though, as a devastating consequence will soon follow. Use can also use your leverage over the passengers of the Watchful Luftrahmer, asking them questions they don’t want to answer or enacting your special abilities. When it all comes crashing down you will have to reveal your secrets to the other players. What do you really think about them? Are you secretly in love or hold a seed of resentment?

I keep an eye on one-page rpgs because they tend to be good candidates for single-session play. With only a few rules and not much room for character advancement, these games focus on giving you the basic premise of the game and the tools you have to play through it. Operation: Final Monarch gives your a very specific goal - assassinate Alexander Von Korte. You’re given a bottle setting to play this in as well - on Alexander’s blimp. I’m really interested in this game because it knows exactly what kind of experience it wants to give you, and it’s succinct and well laid out, which means that learning how to play isn’t that hard at all!

All Hands on Deck, by Alice V.

A gm-less, storytelling, Descended From the Queen game for three to six people about  a ship, its crew, and the sea they sail on. It is a game about the relationships between those people, about relying on each other, about being an individual in a team.

I wanted to spotlight a Descended from the Queen game because these games have a very unique mode of gameplay, which makes them really good for one-shot play. These games usually consist of a series of prompts attached to a regular playing card deck. Each turn consists of pulling a card from the deck, and answering the prompt related to it. Descended from the Queen games tend to be rather introspective, focusing on relationships and the ways they can affect our perceptions of events. The scenarios are also tied to each individual game, so in All Hands on Deck, the scenario involves a ships’ crew on a voyage, and the conflicts that may exist between different members due to the relationships they have to the Captain and each-other.

This Ship Is No Mother, by Thomas Manuel.

This Ship Is No Mother is a game about people in space, working jobs that are probably going to get them killed. Inspired by movies like Alien and games like Mothership and Dread, this is for fans of tension, creepy-crawlies, and general horror. Mechanically, it's a card-based Forged in the Dark game, first in the series of games currently called the Cardsharp Sonata.

In this game, players start with a full deck of cards and as you play, that deck will run down. When the deck ends, there is a climactic moment of panic as one of the characters is going to do something stupid and get themselves (and maybe everyone else) killed.

I got a chance to play this game with the creator last year and it really delivered! This Ship Is No Mother was originally designed as a way to run Mothership scenarios using a narrative system, with a time limit built in due to the fact that it uses cards instead of dice. You’ll use cards as resources, and since there’s only so many in the deck, you’ll run out of them one way or another. If you like suspense and alien horror, this is definitely worth checking out.

Games I’ve Recommended in the Past

Koboldly Go, by CoffeeSnake Studios.

Lady Blackbird, by John Harper.

Something is Wrong With the Chickens, by Elliot Davis.

The Great Soul Train Robbery, by Cloven Pine Games.

Faewater, by A Smouldering Lighthouse.

[bawawawawaguitarsolofuckyeah]

What if Alastor does betray Charlie and the crew in the end- against his will? Him walking over towards the enemy's side as they call his name while all eyes are on him. Horrified. Betrayed. Angry.

the radio demon would just smile, keep up the grin. Plaster it on his face. Put on a show. Laugh at the disbelief in everyone's faces. He'd lie if he said it didn't hurt his face so much.

He'd tell himself that he never cared about them. That he never once thought of them as anything but pawns. That they should've seen this coming because his heart stopped beating a long time ago, his soul was jaded, and his humanity rotten.

But the heaviness in his chest and the trembling of his hands say otherwise. The smile that didn't reach his eyes told a different story. All the times he would cook them his special Jambalaya, or the the times he would join in their silly exercises, or pull an all nighter with them on game nights, or be there just as someone to listen when someone bothered them (they'd be dead tomorrow)- all these memories - was it all really just for show? And it would dawn on him, like a cruel spotlight exposing the darkest corners of his dead, black heart.

Maybe he did care for them. loved them as a family. Wanted what was best for them. Wished he could be with them. Be part of their family

And he hated himself for that. Because it's too late. He's chosen his side and broke their hearts. He could only stand in the side as everyone else was fighting for their side. He felt horrible. A traitor. A ghost.

So, maybe -as one last act of redemption, one last attempt to plea for forgiveness, to let them know that he did care, that he did love them - at the final battle - When all seemed lost - he sacrifices himself. By fighting for them. Going against his master. Risking his own life - not because he was told so- but because he wanted to. For them.

Ignoring the anguish that burned in him as he took hit after hit as he desperately tries to stop his master before they could hurt his friends. His family. Ignoring their shouts of worry, shouts of pleas for him to stop. For him to step back. For him to let them help him.

But he doesn't let them because they've done so much already. They've let him in, loved him, and accepted him, and he never thought he'd ever experience that again

And just like that - he's on the ground. Bleeding, gasping for air, dying. Static radio thick in the air. Him barely able to register the blurry figures hovering over him. Muffled voices that made his head ring. The pain numbing his body. Everything was so much at the same time.

But he felt it, a hand on his cheek, a trembling, soft, gentle, and kind touch. And for a while, his vision cleared and he could see her. Charlie. Crying. Her lips moving as she said something he didn't quite catch. He hated seeing her like this and it pained him to be the very reason why

And someone else is there, one just like Charlie's - Lucifer, his hand on his daughter's shoulder. Alastor hated appreciated the much concern on his face. appreciation and respect glinting in his eyes.

Alastor was too broken to be fixed. Too shattered to be put back together. And too close to the gates of death to be brought back down again. And it was alright. The only regret was not being able to spend more hellish days with the crew. But other than that? He's happy. And he wished them happiness too.

And so, with all the strength he could muster, he moved his shaking, bloodied up hand, tiringly to his own cheek, just above Charlie's hand, trying to tell her that it's alright. He's alright. It's gonna be okay.

"Smile, my dear." He rasps out, his throat scratched and his lungs tight. "You're never fully dressed without one."

The air went silent, for the static was gone. the great Alastor altruist died for his friends. This is how it ended.

[iwritetopassthetime]

home to you (2/9)

Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x fem!reader

CHAPTER ONE: Blossom // Previous chapter // Masterlist // Next chapter

Wordcount: 4.3K

Summary: When two people are meant to be together, fate will always find a way to bring them to each other. It's just that sometimes it's not under the normal-est of circumstances. But a flower that blooms in adversity is the rarest and most beautiful of all, and Bradley will be ready to go through anything for the love of his Blossom.

Warnings: themes of abuse/domestic violence, descriptions of a panic/anxiety attack, self-deprecating thoughts, some heavy angst in this chapter so get ready, my dudes, Bradley being a sweetheart

A/N: This is my first time writing in 2nd person so let me know if I've fucked up somewhere, this was so odd for me!

When experiencing a panic or anxiety attack, it always helps to use the five sense grounding technique. 

The first time you had to do it had felt difficult, near impossible; your body was shaking and heart pounding so heard you could swear you could hear it, or it could’ve been all the blood that was thumping in your ears. Adrenaline was coursing at high speed all through your body, shooting up into your brain and into the recesses within it that told you to run, freeze or hide. But your body wasn’t moving, the shaking in your hands being the only minuscule movement that someone else could register. 

After three years of having to rely on your senses to ground you when in that state, it felt as easy to pick out different aspects of your surroundings as plucking out dead leaves from a plant. 

It was almost mechanical. 

Five things you could see… what could you see? The muddy tips of your trainers, the light grey linoleum floor beneath them, the table across from you, a stack of paper cup carriers on top of it, and a glittery pot containing a very poorly kept jade plant.

Someone had overwatered it. The thick leaves were brown and moulding. How could anyone fail to take care of a jade plant, they were so simple and easy to care for?! Why would someone keep something so precious and just mistreat it?

Your breathing started picking up as you once again spiralled downwards. But you caught yourself quickly and continued with the following step.

Four things you could touch… okay, okay, okay… Four things, just four. Breathe… Hold… Exhale. The metal frame of your chair in your hands, the clothes on your back, your hair — both still damp from running in the early evening drizzle — and your phone poking out of your jean pocket. 

Three things you could hear… your breathing slowly evening out, the sound of a coffee machine and people’s muffled voices on the other side of the door.

Two things you could smell… freshly brewed coffee and rain.

One thing you could taste… the lingering, coppery taste of blood from your split lip. 

The split lip that Jett gave you when he smacked you across the face and his signet ring bit into the soft flesh. 

Why did you run, huh? You think you can just leave me? Fucking bitch! Stop crying, stop fucking crying!

You quickly banished that memory before it brought upon another attack. Your breathing had evened out and your heartbeat was within the spectrum of regularity. Your chest still felt very sore as if the organ had bashed itself against your rib cage from the inside. Your lungs felt hot and you coughed. Pain shot through your neck which only reminded you of the probability of bruising already forming there. 

You could still feel his hands grabbing and squeezing. Holding. Holding. Holding. 

Please! I’m sorry! Please, stop— I can’t breathe!

You shakily reached up and felt around the skin; it felt hot and tender. When you pressed your fingers against it, you hissed out as pain shot through you and you dropped your hands to your lap.

What time was it? Was it well past midnight? Or was it only a few minutes after you’d finished your phone call to Penny? And the panic had settled in.

Your phone was dead and you didn’t have your watch with you. There was a clock on the wall, but it wasn’t working, stuck on the same hour and minute.

You could potentially leave the storage room and go ask the lady in the coffee shop you’d found refuge in for the time. But the fear that he could’ve followed you, kept you glued to the uncomfortable chair. 

Just breathing. 

Your head was empty of everything save for the glimpses of what had happened tonight. Flashes of the door being kicked down and the chain snapping like it was nothing. Falling, hitting the floor and pain shooting through your left shoulder. Your back hurt something terrible. 

You reached around, feeling against your lower back where most of the aching came from and slowly rubbed circles into the spot. It didn’t bring instant relief but it did help a little. If you couldn’t get the pain throughout your body to cease, you could at least deal with the one pain you’d carried for much longer. 

The sound of the front doorbell ringing reached your ears and you steeled yourself lest it turned out to be him. You could’ve prayed to someone — there certainly wasn’t a shortage on deities in the world — but in the last three years you’d discovered that there wasn’t anyone who would answer. You were always on your own. 

Then you heard it. A familiar voice, but one that didn’t strike fear in your heart. A voice that brought memories of chocolate chip pancakes, you mum’s arms around you as she talked to her best friend, ringing laughter and happiness. Something that felt so foreign, you had to think again if those weren’t someone else’s memories. Or something you’d seen on TV. 

The door to the storage room opened and your head snapped in its direction.

Penny Benjamin gasped upon seeing you and rushed to your side, dropping on her knees in front of you. Her beautiful brown eyes started glistening with tears that soon started to fall. You felt your own do the same and your marred lip wobbled.

Penny wrapped you in a hug that invoked all those happy memories. The memories of Mama and Auntie Penny getting together when Penny was in the neighbourhood, talking for hours on end and laughing. Auntie Penny used to call you Blossom, a precious little flower that delighted everybody around. Your laughter used to delight her and Mama. You hadn’t laughed in such a long time, you couldn’t remember why is it that they found it so charming. 

‘Oh, Blossom!’ Penny sighed against your damp hair, arms keeping you close to her. The embrace warmed you to your bones and somehow even the chill in the air couldn’t get to you anymore. Finally you felt safe. At least a little bit.

Penny pulled back so she could look you over, her eyebrows furrowing and face falling more and more with each bruise and cut she saw. Your face wasn’t all that hurt — the cut lip and a tender feeling in her right cheek where a bruise had most likely formed by the slap — but the flimsy long-sleeved shirt you wore drew attention to the tender skin along your throat. To an ugly necklace of pain. 

‘I’m so sorry, Blossom. You’re safe now, sweetheart. Everything’s gonna be alright!’ 

Penny’s whispered assurances washed over you like a gust of warm wind and you felt more tears spring to your eyes at the thought alone. Safe. You were safe with Auntie Penny. 

Penny then turned to a man her age who was hanging by the door, his eyes just as worried as hers, and started talking. Her voice sounded too far away, like they were once again behind the door to the main part of the coffee shop. You were tired, and growing dizzier, and still under too much stress to register everything that was being said or happening around you. Something Penny seemed to notice because she gently pulled you up from the chair, guiding you out of the storage room and towards her parked jeep outside, an arm wrapped securely about your shoulders. 

One thought replaced all the others in your head for the first time in a long time: you were safe. 

Once at the Benjamin residence, Penny showed you to the en-suite bathroom in the guest room. She gave you towels and toiletries, some of which belonged to her daughter Amelia. You can meet her when you feel better, she’d said and you all but burst out in tears again at all the tenderness and care Penny showed you. And she was giving all that to you without question, without requiring anything in return, only that you were going to take your time and tell her if you needed anything else. 

You felt greedy asking for more. You still couldn’t wrap your head around the fact that she’d come to pick you up after not seeing you for ages. And not only that, she took you to a hospital in L.A. to get you checked out, paid out of pocket for the examination and medication you were prescribed. For god’s sake, the price of the petrol she would’ve had to pay for the trip to and from L.A.! It must be enough to make you choke on the hot water that was pouring over your head. 

Your hands were wrapped around yourself as you stood completely still beneath the stream, letting the heat overwhelm you so your own traitorous thoughts wouldn’t. Only when you felt the stiffness in you back and arms thaw did you reach for the shampoo Penny left for you.

You looked over the bottle as you slowly rubbed the citrusy liquid into your scalp all the way down to the ends of your hair. It seemed to be one of those custom made expensive brands, the ones that you couldn’t afford even when you worked at that nice landscaping firm. The prices just kept adding up and your breathing quickened as you spiralled further down that rabbit hole.

How would you ever manage to repay Penny’s kindness when you had nothing but the clothes on your back? Clothes that she was now putting through the laundry and dried as she promised.

You turned the water off once you thought you were sufficiently clean. You could finally feel the exhaustion in your bones as the stress of the past several hours started to wear off. Your back started to hurt again and it made breathing harder, like there was something sitting on your chest. You took a seat at the toilet, giving yourself a moment to catch your breath.

A soft knock came from the door and you heard Penny ask, ‘Blossom, is it okay for me to come in?’

‘Yea—’ your voice sounded rough and scratchy so you cleared your throat before trying to answer again, ‘Yeah.’

Penny slowly opened the door and smiled when she saw you all wrapped up in the towel she gave you. She came in and shut the door behind herself. In one hand she carried a small tub which she placed on the sink’s counter next to you. 

‘I remember your mother had very specific haircare products, and I don’t know which ones you normally use, but I found this,’ she showed you the tub. Now that it was close you could see the thick, shiny product inside. Penny rolled the lid and opened it, ‘Would you like me to help you or would you rather do it yourself?’

The sweet scent of the hair product hit you about as hard as someone throwing a daisy at your face and it made your eyes water again.

‘Oh, sweetie, I’m sorry. Is that too much, would you like me to leave?’

You waved off her concerns, sobbing incessantly so you couldn’t form a word. 

Penny placed the tub of lotion back on the counter and placed her hands on your shoulders, rubbing them soothingly. 

‘I-I have n-no money to repay you,’ you hiccuped in between sobs.

She looked so shocked at your statement; it took you a second to remind yourself that even if you had unintentionally insulted her, Penny wouldn’t smack you across the face. Right?

‘What are you talking about, sweetie?’

‘Th-the doctor visit, the medication, driving up to L.A. and back,’ you listed off. ‘This,’ you pointed at the lotion, ‘letting me use your shower and your daughter’s shampoo and stuff. I don’t have the money to pay you back.’

Comprehension dawned on Penny’s features and she sighed, wrapping her up in another hug. 

‘Sweetie, I’m doing this for you and because your mother was one of my closest friends on the West Coast.’ She pulled back to give you a gentle, yet serious look. ‘I don’t expect you to give me even a single cent, do you understand. You’re family, I’m not taking any money from you. I’m doing this because I care for your safety and wellbeing.’

That only seemed to spur another tidal wave of sobbing from you which Penny faced head on, wrapping her arms around you and whispering soothing words against your temple. 

It took you another ten minutes to fully calm down after which Penny opened the tub of hair lotion and silently ran the product through your hair. She then took a smaller towel and carefully wrapped it around your head in a turban. After helping you out of the bathroom, she showed you the underwear and pyjamas she’d picked out for you and left you to change.

‘I’ll go make you something to drink in the meantime. Do you still like rose and mint tea?’

You nodded.

‘Good.’ Penny smiled at you. ‘Amelia and I drink it all the time. We’re big fans, too.’

The door closed and you were left to change in the semi-dark room. Through the gaps in the Venetian blinds you could see the warm, morning sunlight pour into the room as the new day began, but you were willing to skip on it if it meant getting some much needed rest.

It seemed that all the stress, and fear, and running had used up what little strength you had left and you could feel your head grow heavy with sleep. You snuck underneath the warm bedding just as the door opened to reveal Penny holding a steaming mug of tea that was quickly pressed into your grateful hands. 

‘I hope you don’t mind,’ Penny began as she took a seat on the edge of the bed, ‘Pete has asked his godson to stay over. He thought Bradley might keep you company when you feel up for it. But,’ she gave you a serious look, ‘if you feel uncomfortable, there is no issue with telling me that and I’ll ask him to leave.’

‘No, it’s okay.’

You took a sip of the tea, feeling how the herbal mixture instantly soothed your aching throat. The memories the taste itself brought up, however, soothed you heart. 

‘You won’t feel uncomfortable with a guy staying over?’

‘I actually don’t mind being surrounded by people right now,’ you said simply. ‘Makes me feel less… anxious, you know?’

Penny smiled again, tapping her fingers on the under side of your chin as she used to do back in the day. The action managed to get some semblance of a smile back on your face which immensely delighted the older woman.

‘I will leave you to rest now. If you need me, I’ll be downstairs. Pete, Amelia and Bradley are at home as well, in case I have to go run some errands and you need something.’

‘Okay.’ 

Even though sleep was coming upon you hard and fast, your eyelids heavy and droopy, you were going to finish the tea first. Penny had gone to the trouble of making it, you wouldn’t disrespect her by letting it grow cold. 

As she was about to leave, you lowered the almost empty mug to your lap and called after her. 

‘Thank you, Aunt Penny.’

She smiled brightly at you, the light from the corridor outside back-lighting her. A halo formed around the crown of her head. How fitting, you thought. 

‘I’m happy you’re safe now, Blossom. Sleep tight.’

You had managed to sleep through most of the day and night, only waking up at short intervals. You were kind of glad that your sleep was uninterrupted by nightmares as it had been before, but then again the exhaustion from the past day and night was so severe that even your mind needed a rest.

Until your back started aching again.

Whatever you did, it didn’t seem to help. You sat up in bed to stretch, then rolled out of bed to stretch your entire body, then walked about the room in the hopes it would alleviate the pain a little, but to no avail. You took notice of a box of Tylenol that was left on the edge of your bedside table — Penny had most likely dropped by to leave it for you while you were sleeping — and you opened it to fish out two tablets that you swallowed dry.

Having had those pains for most of your life, chugging down pain medication without the help of a drink had become a sort of party trick. Albeit a sad one, but you couldn’t pride yourself on much else. 

Maybe the you from three years ago… She could pride herself on so many things. The you that was loud, boisterous, and all the things that people loved to have around them. The you that was unapologetically happy. Now it seemed like that was a different life, a different person. If you from three years ago could see you now, she’d be disappointed that you’d made all the mistakes she swore she’d never make. 

And all because you from three years ago— no, you from always was a hopeless romantic at heart who could only see the best in people. Maybe that was your best party trick. Naivety. 

You’re a fucking moron, sweetheart!

You couldn’t wait for the pills to kick in, suddenly feeling on edge. You grabbed a large UVA hoodie that was hanging from a hook on the door, slipped it on and a pair of slippers that were conveniently placed at the foot of the bed, and walked out.

It was still a little dark outside, most likely an hour or so away from sunrise. You made sure to be as quiet as possible, fearful of accidentally waking anybody in the house. You padded down the carpeted stairs, to the ground floor where you found your way to the kitchen and then to the backyard door. 

It wouldn’t hurt to sit in the fresh air for a little bit, you thought. 

You pushed the door open — leaving it slightly ajar lest it shuts loudly behind you and wakes someone up — and took a seat on the porch stairs. 

The sky looked beautiful from here. Scratch that, the entire view from Penny’s back porch was beautiful. Truly mesmerising. You could make out the ocean just beyond the fence, smell the salt in the air, feel the breeze caress your face. The scene before you was peaceful and that sensation moved into your heart. 

Someone knocked on the door frame behind you and your head whipped about, eyes darting up to look at the origin of the sudden disturbance. 

In the gap between the frame and the door itself stood a very tall man with shoulders that went on for days. His eyes were warm and inviting, the dim pre-dawn light catching in them. His long nose ended where a very manly — very 80’s — moustache began and just below it were his lips. A pair of lovely, plush lips that curved in a small, tentative smile. 

‘Hey, hope you don’t mind,’ he began. ‘I heard you coming outside and just wanted to check if you were alright.’

You noticed that his voice didn’t make you flinch, it didn’t make your anxiety spark up and guard go up.

‘I’m alright,’ you mumbled back. ‘I’m sorry, was I too loud?’

‘No, no, no,’ the young man pushed the door further open, hands coming up and waving your worries off. ‘I just… ya know… just wanted to make sure you were okay. I’m Bradley.’

You allowed yourself a small polite smile. Your cheeks felt very warm and you refused to admit that yes, maybe you did just blush at his consideration for you. 

‘I know. Penny told me. You are her boyfriend’s godson, right?’

‘That’s me.’ Bradley’s smile grew into a grin. 

His expression then changed for a second, remembering something and he reached back into the kitchen, his foot still holding the door open. He popped back out with two cups in his large hands.

‘Mind if I make you some company?’

You shook your head and he happily sat down on the stairs next to you, handing you one of the cups. The smell alone told you this was some really nice brand of coffee. 

Bradley kept a respectful distance between the two of you. He placed his own cup in the gap while fishing for something in the pockets of his grey sweatpants. 

He pulled out a few creamer pods, holding his palm out for you to take any if you needed them. And need them indeed you did. Not that you disliked black coffee, it’s just that you couldn’t sit still afterwards and felt horribly dizzy.

‘Thank you.’ 

It felt almost unnatural for someone to be as attentive without knowing you. A part of you reminded you that small bouts of kindness always preceded or were followed by pain and insults. But another part was willing to allow Bradley this one weakness on your part, only because his smile put you truly and completely at ease. 

‘I didn’t know how you take your coffee.’ His hand slowly dipped in a wide arch to take ahold his own cup and bring it to his lips, eyes trained at the horizon.

His movements were measured and delicate which seemed unnatural for a man of his size. He looked like the kind of person who didn’t need to bother with tentativeness. Was he doing this because of you? Was he being extra slow and gentle with his movements so he doesn’t scare you?

You felt your heart stutter and eyes water so you stared down into your cup as you emptied three of the creamers into the steaming coffee, your gaze following beige swirls as they fully mixed in with the drink. You couldn’t cry in front of a guy you just met. You didn’t want to insult him or make him think you were uncomfortable next to him after the lengths he’d gone to to make you coffee and be so sweet to you. 

Did Penny already tell him what had happened to you?

‘Couldn’t sleep?’

You looked up at him again, but found that he was still watching the ocean. It gave you a moment to take in his features. If circumstances were different and you felt just a little bolder, you might even dare to think him handsome. Which he was… incredibly handsome that is. Why on earth would this incredibly handsome man bother himself to make you company? What could he possibly get out of it?

When you didn’t immediately respond, Bradley glanced your way. 

‘Oh, uh— No, not exactly,’ you stuttered out a response, bringing the cup to your lips and taking your first drink of coffee. Man, it tasted just as good as it smelled! ‘I have back pains — thoracic scoliosis. It’s not that severe, but it gets irritated sometimes and makes sleeping… hard.’ 

‘Do you need some pain killers?’

‘Already took some Tylenol that Penny left me.’ You smiled at him and that seemed to make him happy. Gosh, you really liked the feeling that gave you! Made you almost proud.

‘Good ol’ Penny.’

‘She is.’

‘So... I’m guessing Blossom is a nickname,’ he added and you you shook your head with a little smile. 

‘Did she tell you that?’

‘It slipped out yesterday.’

You watched the sky alter its colours as the sun began to rise somewhere behind them. The stars began to disappear into the daylight one by one and the darkest shades of blue dipped beyond the distant line of the Pacific. 

‘She used to call me that when I was a child. I always loved flowers,’ you admitted bashfully, ‘lover learning about them, loved… stealing them from our neighbours’s gardens.’ 

You remembered with fondness how Mrs Davies would chase you away with her water hose which only seemed to amuse you rather than deter you from picking her petunias. 

‘Penny thought it up. She hasn’t changed her mind about it since… which makes me kinda glad.’

‘Suits you,’ Bradley said simply and you thanked him quietly. 

It felt good to simply sit there and talk of anything but what had transpired before you were brought to this house. Deep down you were worried that Bradley would be morbidly curious about what had happened to you. You had experienced that with a colleague when you still worked at the landscaping company, before Jett made you quit entirely; they felt more interested in the ugly details than they were in actually helping you. And that was also the last time you actively sought out someone’s help. Until the other night. 

‘Well then.’ Bradley got up from the stairs, dusting the back of his sweatpants. ‘I’m gonna go grab a shower and get started on breakfast. Hope you like chocolate chip pancakes, Amelia requested it and I’m kind of amazing at making those.’ 

You genuinely giggled at his not-so-humble brag. ‘I can’t think of a single person who doesn’t like chocolate chip pancakes.’

‘Perfect,’ he climbed up the steps and opened the back door. ‘You drink your coffee and I’ll call you when I’ve got a good first batch ready.’

‘Thank you, Bradley.’

He smiled at you, his moustache curling adorably on his top lip and brown eyes twinkling in the morning light. 

‘You’re very welcome, Blossom.’

Next chapter

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tags: @gretagerwigsmuse @jupitercomet @youlightmeupfinn @craftymoonchaos @the-winter-marvel33 @agent-jbarnes @blahehblah

[god-wept]

remnants of a dream.

s. ynopsis ; in which years have passed since you and rin had gazed at each other heart—to—heart, your connection with him devoid of the warmth that dwelled in the past.

❛ ﹠> caution! angst, rin being emotional &̲&̲ slapping you.

it hurts.

it stung, it burned, and it left a blossoming imprint on your delicate skin.

remnants of sorrow clung to your lashes, tears brimming your waterline as your eyes flickered with a semblance of muddled emotion ﹔anger, woe, anguish—it was all a blur, and for that, you were at least grateful to the smeared hues of your vision for blocking the face that once held the visage of someone you loved.

It pained you, really—to witness the person who you dedicated your heart to, become an unrecognizable enigma.

silence enraptured the room and suddenly you couldn't breathe, you couldn't speak, you couldn't comprehend the way viridescent embers flashed with a tinge of apathy.

your mouth was dry, stuck together. feeble voice stuck in your throat like a hard pill to swallow.

it felt like a hundred years—when in reality—it had only been just a few seconds until you had grasped the numbing pain that seared the side of your face.

ah, it's all coming together now. and you truly wished it didn't.

the organ that hammered against your chest, like a baton to a drum—it held the heavy pool of emotions that tainted your soul as all the memories you had so, so happily made become a weapon against you.

It sheathed its blade, waiting in the shadows to stab your chest with the dull edge of your weakness to love.

a shiver runs down your spine, tears you so desperately held, threatening to spill and walk down the path of the previous streaks that carved a line from your cheek to chin.

your visage was pallid and drawn with a face of fear, the blood pumping in your veins becoming cold with every second that had passed in this room.

I'm scared.

you didn't know if you were scared to feel the flash of pain that flickered on your cheek—or, if you were afraid of losing him.

regardless, this moment had your knees bucking indefinitely, your hands motioned forward to stabilize yourself at the very least from the inevitable fall caused by the impact of such bittersweet hymns.

rin. he feels a pang of guilt in his gut, remorse carrying itself to its features from the way his brows knit together, bottom lip caught between his teeth, and his eyes. oh, his eyes.

those same eyes you used to adore, jade hues filled with such reverent affection.

It was once something you adored very much.

but now, that vision had been dirtied by the gaze he had given you. one that made you doubt—even for just a moment—if that man you saw was truly rin.

you wished you were clueless and naive and unaware of the fact that the relationship you once had was showing the cracks and flaws, the holes you both couldn't fill simply because you weren't meant to be.

admittidly, you had doubts. guilts. you wanted to believe that all of this would work out, that the cliche excuse of love can conquer all would somehow, someway, pave a path where you both could have your happily ever after.

clearly you were a fool.

as childish as can be, you latched onto that string of hope that destiny was merely testing you—merely testing how far you would go for something as fickle as love.

it appears that fate had won once again. the oh, so cruel hands of fate.

as you feel the world stop, you could only shake uncontrollably ; you were unable to let even a meek murmur out.

stupidly, you stare up at him. features contorted in disbelief as ire licks at your skin like a dog.

a hand clutched to your chest, bottom lip tucked beneath your teeth ﹔ much to your chagrin, your tears let loose and your bubbling heartache burst like a dam.

your legs give up on you, almost as if it were rubbing more salt into the wound. heart unable to carry the weight of such a heavy burden.

within that fragment of a moment, the guilt that struck rin was almost unbearable—he rushes to your side almost immediately, and you wished he didn't.

a humorless laugh spills from your rogued lips, that easily swayed side of yourself laden with a tinge of hope—it disgusted you.

why now—why now, when you're finally coming into terms with yourself and the inevitable end of your honeyed endearments, saved only for the person you offered your entire existence to, only for him to drop it to his feet and crush it without a single heed for the hurt that wisped your eyes.

It was laughable, pathetic. and it was the last straw until the rope snapped.

rue streamed down your face. you blinked to meet rin's gaze ; your own red and dreary from the amount of tears you shed.

hate is an ugly thing—but, you didn't care. didn't care how you looked to anyone anymore. a part of you wanted to curse at him, condemn him, hurt him.

even if it was only a fraction of the pain you felt whenever you were alone in your shared bedroom, crying your pitiful heart out because of him and his sharp, bitter mouth.

I'm sure it would be fair to give him a taste of the sorrow you felt, the countless curses cradled at the tip of your tongue.

you wanted to make him feel how it felt for your heart to be gouged out and stabbed with a knife ten thousand times ; you opted to shatter him, and decay as the arrow that pierced his wound.

the plug that kept him alive—and then, you leave him to bleed out.

It should be okay. he should've expected it, since you were such a petty bitch to him, as he said.

his palm is transfixed onto your shoulder, bewilderment carressing his face—it was completely and utterly ridiculous.

your vexingly gentle hold on his hand was sweet, guiding his fingers away from your touch.

the warmth lingered atop his hand, burying him with an incredulous pile of remorse ; verdant hues flickering to the imprint on your face that he made.

even so, he acts as if he hadn't just spouted the cruelest of words. as if god weren't a witness to the cold blade of his tongue spitting blasphemy towards the person he should've loved.

the expression that resides on his countenance was revoltingly innocent—it was unfathomable that a person could be such a way after raising his hand against your flesh moments prior.

his eyes were downcast, bangs shading them away from you. his lips parted, as if juggling between options for his words—voice hoarse and quiet, laced with a touch of shame.

" ( y/n ) .. I— "

your lashes fluttered shut, a pained expression engraving itself onto your visage. a wordless raise of your finger to brush a strand of hair that tickled the side of your face.

as if mustering up the courage, you let out a sigh. building up your voice as firm as it can currently be.

" I don't think I can do this anymore. "

the tone of your voice was solemn, raspy and shyed away from firming itself ; but, the words you uttered had rendered a dribble of sweat to slide down rin's forehead, eyes widening ever so slightly with dread.

his lips quivered, the impact of your declaration seeping into the crevices of his mind.

the air was almost suffocating, room tense as rin contemplated his actions.

he contemplated between bowing down at your feet, tear—struck and pathetically crying for you to stay with him ; or, letting himself stay frozen.

to let you go and chalk up your existence in his life as a dream, remnant of the affection he yearned from you. living life as he wakes up day by day without your presence in his dull world.

while rin was still stuck in his mirage, you opted to gather your bearings. muffled footsteps growing ever so closer to the door.

" please. "

the unfamiliar sound made you pause in your steps—rin?

the faint sound of shuffling made you intake a deep inhale, deciding to stay for a moment. to witness the prideful itoshi rin crumbling beneath you.

it was bittersweet.

had he done this ages ago—had he threw his pride as you did to dedicate yourself to him, you both would've had the sliver of a chance of having a different outcome for your fallen relationship.

but unfortunately, time is an extremely valuable currency. and it was wasted on stupid choices.

all you could do was let a smile spread across your lips.

the kind that weighed no sincerity, faux merriment.

devoid of the love rin had grown used to, the one reserved only for him.

he'd lost your love.

he laments making mistakes in the past, etching scars unable to be healed even as time passes by ; he was dumb, arrogant—selfish.

and he swore he felt the world shatter before his eyes, broken into a million shards—hopeless in fixing it, impossible to put back together to what it once was.

desperation chained his body, a sudden surge within him making his legs move—to chase after the light that once shone above his world.

ah.

a tear rolls down your cheek.

itoshi rin, you heartless fucking bastard.

you made me wait years for this—I endured long years of your indifference to me and I accepted that you'd never change. that we don't work together—but, when i finally, finally let you go, you come running to me?

you wanted to scream those words at him—truly—but your mouth was tight together and refused to let a single sound past your lips.

" I'm sorry. "

he whispered it so tenderly into your ear, honeyed and lilt with regret—phantom of a kiss ghosting over your shoulder.

you bit your lip, enough to draw out blood, and calmed your shaking body.

a hand you raise goes to his cheek, cupping the flesh as you gazed up at him.

" .... I'm sorry. "

rin lets his face fall to the column of your neck, inhaling your scent as his face twisted with hurt, your palm moving to the crown of his head, patting the tousled green of silky strands.

" I know you are. "

you hushed him and he looks up at you, opening his mouth to speak—but, you cut him off.

" that's my last parting gift to you, itoshi. "

slowly, you remove his towering frame from you, watching as his eyes widen—his heart falling to his stomach at the name you used on him ; knuckles clutched and fist shaking.

you smile at him, turning your back towards the shaking boy and angling your neck to meet his face from behind.

" have a nice life. "

and then you left. exiting his apartment with ruined makeup and face scrunched as you weeped with a heavy heart.

@god-wept! do not plagiarize, repost, or translate.

[vorish-wonderland]

Floyd is upset, bored, and hungry. Riddle just made a replica of an old shrinking potion from the Queendom of Hearts. What could possibly go wrong?

Includes: soft/safe vore, Floyd being himself, unwilling prey

✮✶Let's Play Hide & Seek~!✶✮

☆ﾟ⁠.⁠*⁠･⁠｡ﾟ☆ﾟ⁠.⁠*⁠･⁠｡ﾟ☆ﾟ⁠.⁠*⁠･⁠｡ﾟ☆ﾟ⁠.⁠*⁠･⁠｡ﾟ☆ﾟ⁠.⁠*⁠･⁠｡ﾟ

Jade and Azul have very strange ways of punishing Floyd sometimes.

He ate some food he wasn't supposed to, so you know what they made him do? They made him stand perfectly still for two hours while holding plates of food in both hands, and everytime he made a movement the timer reset.

So now, he was upset, bored, and hungry.

And then, he realized exactly how he can kick this boredom!

"I'll go talk with Goldfishie! That'll be fun!"

Meanwhile, Riddle was trying to study something, just trying to get his work done.

Studying in the library is usually quite peaceful. Right now, he's studying early potions. The one he's currently attempting to replicate was first documented in the Queen Of Hearts' domain, a clear and tasteless liquid in a bottle with no label other than "Drink Me". It's said that whoever drank it would shrink immediately.

Now he just needs someone to test it on...

"Hey Goldfishie~!!"

Oh dear Seven.

"Goldfish, Goldfish, Go~old~fish~ie~!" Riddle sighed in annoyance. Floyd is the last person he wants to be around him while he has an experimental potion with him. "Hey hey, what are you doing right now?"

Then, Riddle had a good idea.

"Well, Floyd, I was just about to test this potion I made! Would you mind drinking it for me?" Riddle asked, a forced smile on his face.

"Sure, I guess. But only if you give me food after, I'm really hungry..."

"Of course, that can be arranged."

Floyd grabbed the small vial and poured the liquid into his mouth. He swished it around for a bit, before looking like he got an idea.

He grabbed Riddle's face, and kissed him directly on the lips.

Riddle was surprised. Not only by the sudden kiss, but also by the rush of liquid entering his mouth.

Riddle swallowed without thinking.

"Agh- What was that for, Floyd?!" Riddle angrily asked.

"I thought it'd be more fun to see your potion used on you~!" Floyd said, a wide smile on his face.

It was a slow process. Riddle got smaller, smaller, smaller... as Riddle shrunk, Floyd's mouth was starting to water.

"Like I said, Goldfishie, I'm feelin' hungry~ And you, lookit you! You're so small and cute, why I could just eat you up right now~!" Floyd licked his lips. "But that's no fun, is it? So Goldfishie, I think I have a fun idea... why don't we play hide and seek~?"

"H...hide and seek...?" Riddle cautiously asked. He finally stopped shrinking, and he was now about the size of a large goldfish.

"Yeah! You hide, and I try to find ya!" Floyd explained, a smile on his face. "If you win and I don't find you, then... ehehe... I won't eat you~!"

Floyd crouched down to Riddle's level as his stomach growled.

"I'll give you 30 seconds to hide, Goldfishie~"

Floyd closed his eyes, and started his countdown.

Riddle had no idea where he could hide. Of course he'd much rather not play along with Floyd's games, but what other choice does he have in this scenario?!

Riddle jumped down from the chair he had been standing on. It hurt his legs when he landed on the floor, but thankfully not enough to keep him from trying to hide.

There's a book lying page-down on the floor over there! He could probably hide under that, right?!

Riddle ran as fast as he could towards the book. He tried his best to lift the book so he could hide under it, but it was so... heavy at this tiny size.

"Ten seconds Goldfish! Better have a good hiding spot!"

In a panic, Riddle got down on the floor and army-crawled under the pages of the book, hopefully that'll hide him well enough.

"Eh, it's close enough to zero. Ready or not, here I come~!!"

Riddle's heart was beating out of his chest. He knew that Floyd wasn't lying or joking, he's seen Floyd eat people before. Seeing that was like a scene straight out of one of those horror movies he's seen Ace watch. The sounds, oh Seven, the sounds. Muffled begging for help and mercy mixed with squishing and gurgling and... oh, it was terrifying to watch. And sure, Riddle always saw those people completely safe and unharmed the next day, but... still, it's horrifying to think about.

"Hmm... where are you, Goldfish~?"

Floyd's eyes darted over to the book on the floor.

"You're really bad at hiding, you know that~?" Floyd asked, causing Riddle's heart to drop. "Then again, maybe I just have an unfair advantage." Floyd picked the book up off the floor, to find Riddle's tiny trembling frame. "Us morays have a heightened sense of smell, for hunting purposes... you actually smell really nice! Like roses... I wonder what Goldfishie will taste like~!"

Floyd grabbed Riddle by the leg, and picked him up off the floor. Riddle was pulled through the air, now dangling precariously above Floyd's open mouth.

"Floyd... you can't be serious about this... r-right...?" Riddle nervously asked.

"Hm? 'Course I am! I'm real hungry, y'know~ And you happen to be the perfect size~!" Floyd giggled to himself.

"No no! I-I'm still too big! There's no way you can eat me without choking!" Riddle desperately yelled, even though he knew that wasn't true.

"My throat and stomach are pretty stretchy, actually~! I'm sure you know I've eaten full-sized humans before, y'know, as a punishment for contract breakers... something as small as you won't be a problem at all~!"

And then, he dropped him.

Floyd played around with his defenseless little Goldfish. He swished him around, pressed him against the roof of his mouth, teased him with his razor sharp teeth, tasted every last inch of his body...

And then, he swallowed.

It took a few tries to get all of him down, but eventually, that poor little Goldfish was sent sliding down his throat.

Riddle was not having a good day.

He was large enough to make a small bulge in Floyd's middle, but thankfully (for Floyd, not so much for Riddle) not enough to be seen without his shirt off.

He contently laid down on the floor of the library, a hand on his stomach, a blush on his face as Riddle tried to move around.

"FLOYD, GET ME OUT OF HERE THIS INSTANT!" Riddle yelled, punching at the walls of Floyd's stomach.

"Ehe! That kinda tickles, Goldfishie~!" Floyd laughed. "And relaaaaax, you're safe in there."

"Safe? SAFE?! Do you not pay attention in biology classes?!" Riddle yelled.

"Merfolk biology's a lot different than human biology, Goldfishie... just trust me, you'll be safe." Floyd explained. "I just wanted a snack. Ehehehe... and you filled me up perfectly, Goldfish~"

"You know, that's not exactly a very 'comforting' thing to say to someone you just ate." Riddle sarcastically said.

"Whatever. I hope you don't mind me keeping you inside me for a while, hehe, you just feel so good in there~ Maybe you should make a contract with Azul! I sure would love for you to break contract so I get to eat you again~!" Floyd happily said.

"I personally never want to go through this again. It's uncomfortable, tight, hot, and very wet." Riddle pouted.

"Oh shush, it's not that bad. Now stop complaining, just let us both relax~"

Riddle sighed.

There's not exactly anything he can do about this.

He'll have to find some way to get back at Floyd for this some day, but for now...

It's probably best to just give Floyd what he wants. Who knows what he'll do if not...

[sleepyconfusedpotato]

Hi sleepy! Merry Christmas and a happy new year to you! Have a wonderful year ahead! While I have been a long time ghost fan, I have to admit that this is the first time I've seen your work and I think it's absolutely fantastic! I would like to ask you four questions. 1- Apart from the usual traits, what was it about the character that drew you to ghost? 2- What inspired you to decide to pair up ghost with jade and how did you come up with her character? 3- How long have you been an artist? 4- Have you considered the possibility of actually writing a proper story about ghost and jade like one with a lot of chapters? Cause I've read your short stories and I think they are marvelous. Keep rocking the artwork and leading an amazing life! I wish you the best!:)

Hello hello! (´ ∀ ` *) Thank you so much!

Apart from the usual traits, what was it about the character that drew you to Ghost?

Well, apart from me having a thing for dark, big grumpy man who covers his identity with a mask, I think he's a very interesting character and leaves much room for fans to explore, specifically in the current rebooted version. Like how his character grows from disliking Soap/just working with others in general because they might hold him back, to finally understanding that he needs his teammates and showing himself to the teammates as the highest form of trust. There's just so much to add there; moments where he slowly opens himself up, where he finally allows other people to come in and know him (because of course the campaign is too short JAKSLSDKFJL). So yeah, the complexity of his character, and the wide room for exploration for character development.

What inspired you to decide to pair up Ghost with Jade and how did you come up with her character?

As I have answered in a few asks before, I just wanna give this man a BIG tight hug and give him a happy ending, and Jade is my manifestation of that. For a man who's literally closed himself to the world other than the moniker "Ghost", who is deemed as a legend and a myth, a soldier who's highly task-oriented, he would keep everyone he knows at arm's length. So I think in order for him to open up, he would need someone special who primarily understands him. Someone who knows what it feels like to be a living weapon and how heavy of a burden it is. Someone who gets him enough to alleviate his burdens and, for once, give him peace of mind. Like who the fuck in the world even knows what that feels like? Who can he share his burdens with? You got it : Jade. I'd like the thought of Jade being a paradox to Ghost, as she's been through a lot of trauma and darkness much like him, but she somehow managed to keep her 'light' - seen on how she treats people (and him), and how she's still as capable and as skillful as him to finish her job, and that's precisely how I want to insert her into the story. Ghost and Jade share that same aspect of working alone and the need to learn that they're not alone - that this person actually understands what the other has been through.

How long have you been an artist?

Hmmm.... if it's in the context of professionally (as in started making money and treating drawing as a serious passion instead of just a hobby), it's since I was 17 years old, so about 3 years. But if the question is more to the 'since when did I start drawing', I've been drawing since I was like 4 years old. It's all I've ever known, it's all I've ever done. So a long time.

Have you considered the possibility of actually writing a proper story about Ghost and Jade like one with a lot of chapters?

Y E S. (★‿★) I am currently writing a 12 parter (probably less, probably more ASKJJDFJASDF) of MWII Ghost x Jade series called "Cold Heart". I have all the outlines deep in my Google Docs! It's basically the MWII campaign story, but add Jade into it, and how she changes things up (and how she and Ghost started to grow close). I just need to write it. Though unfortunately only the prologue is posted (you can find it on my masterlist) as I'm still on my finals exam. But! After my finals are over, I'll immediately jump on the series and write it!

Hope that answers the question, and thank you for asking! (❁´◡`❁)

[caffedrine]

Keith Howell - Chapter 01 - Summary

I pretty much have no idea what I'm doing. I don't trust me, and you shouldn't either. This summary is not guaranteed to be accurate, it's mostly written for myself to follow along with the route.

Just for fun, until Emma figures it out, or unless it’s from Keith’s POV, I’m not going to clarify which Keith is talking. Since Alter!Keith likes to pretend to be Nice!Keith, I feel like it loses some of the fun of guessing which one is in control if it’s too obvious.

He has nothing but regrets. The pounding rain drowns out his hoarse voice as his golden eyes focused on the red blood. The reality of the rain pounded on him mercilessly and he felt his body temperature lower. As if in a dream, he stretched out his hand.

No, no, no

He . . .

He-

He gripped his chest just above his heart where the pain was the worst, trying to endure it.

And then the pain stopped.

Alone in the forest, he crouched, ignoring the mud beneath his boots. He started to laugh, even though it didn’t fit the situation at all. What was wrong with him? If he had his mental breakdown earlier, this would never have happened.

Very slowly he stands, brushing back his wet hair. His eyes were sharp and cold, with the emptiness befitting a beast, and a smile on his face. He promises the failure that he will make his wish come true.

***

Permission was given to the foreign princes and their respective retinues for an extended stay in Rhodolite. The next day, Emma is invited to join Keith, First Prince of Jade, at a tea party. The table is lined with sweets and tea, and on the other end sits a very, very apologetic prince.

Keith apologizes for his rudeness towards her during the welcome ceremony. He was very upset, probably a little nervous . .. but honestly, he has no excuse. He knows it’s wrong and inexcusable to just grab someone’s face like that.

Emma recalls the very odd encounter they had on the balcony during the ceremony welcoming the three princes to Rhodolite. Keith had suddenly grabbed her and mocked her serious expression, asking if it was a sign that she wanted him to torment her. It had been like his personality had flipped.

Present-day Keith continues his apologies. If he was in her position and some 183cm hulking giant of a man had behaved like that to him, he would never forgive them. He’s really, really sorry.

And true to his word, Keith looks quite repentant. His large body was folded over in itself, somehow seeming smaller than Emma. His face is as pale as if he had fallen into the midwinter river. He has been like this for the better part of an hour, doing nothing but apologizing.

Emma cuts in and tells Keith that she has accepted every single one of his apologies, and she accepts that he is truly sorry. Why don’t they start over and pretend it never happened? Besides, she had also been at fault for staring at him impertinently. Emma continues – if Keith continues to apologize like this, she will worry that he thinks that she is incapable of letting go of bad feelings.

This entire situation is surreal. Her heart is heavy with all the apologies Keith has been giving, with the weight of him being a prince from a foreign country only making the situation more awkward. Keith seems to notice her discomfort and immediately apologizes for not taking Emma’s feelings into account when he initially apologized. Oh, and now he’s apologized again, for which is very, very sorry.

The air between them only gets more awkward as Keith realizes what he’s done. He and Emma stare at each other in frightened silence, before Keith breaks eye contact to look at anything else. His gaze lands on the untouched sweets on the tea table. He slowly picks up a plate and notes Emma hasn’t eaten anything yet. He offers her the plate of galettes, assuring her they’re tasty and should satisfy her. Emma accepts one, thinking that Keith is trying to change the conversation, and is grateful for it.

While she accepts the pastry, for the first time since they sat together, Keith removes his gloves. Emma takes a bite of the galette and marvels at the crunchy texture and the sweet and salty flavor.

When Keith had invited her to the tea party, Emma had come prepared to eat. What she had not expected was the storm of apologies that she had to wait through instead. However, it was nothing compared to what had happened earlier that morning.

When Emma arrived at Sariel’s office for her morning lessons, Sariel had an unusually grim countenance and told her that Keith had asked for permission to invite her to a tea party. Rio asks if Keith was the green one and the nicest seeming of the three foreign princes. Sariel tells Rio that the palace only has enough room for one Chevalier, and to not get into the habit of referring to people by colorful nicknames.  

Meanwhile, Emma was confused as to why Keith would invite her to a tea party. Sariel reminds her that both Gilbert and Silvio had expressed an interest in her, but he didn’t get the same feeling from Keith. So, he’s surprised and uncertain about this invitation as well. Rio asks Emma has any thoughts.

Keith did roughly grab her head during the welcome ceremony, but that wasn’t a reason to just invite someone to a tea party later. She, Rio, and Sariel discuss other potential reasons, but nothing really comes out of it. Eventually, they give up on guessing.

This situation is complicated since Jade wasn’t originally supposed to be attending the goodwill party in the first place. And now, the only reason Keith has given in his request to extend his stay in that both Benitoite and Obsidian are also staying. Sariel has no doubt that Keith has invited Emma to join him for tea for some reason they just can’t fathom.

Added to the complication is Emma’s fake backstory. As a noble daughter, even a low-ranked country noble, it would be weird if she refused Keith’s invitation. It would only make her stand out more, so she has no choice but to accept and attend his tea party.

Sariel warns her that while Rio is right, and Keith is the friendliest of all the foreign princes visiting with an easy-going reputation, he is still a prince. If he thinks Emma is related to his nation’s interest, he can and will become as ruthless as any beast.

Emma gets the point, her status as Belle, and therefore the death of the King of Rhodolite would be used as a bargaining chip to weaken the kingdom. She needs to brace herself to maintain her façade. Sariel reminds her that if anything happens, to report it immediately.

Rio promises to do everything in his power to support Emma. He won’t be far, so if she needs him just call out his name. That said, he would be just as happy if she would call out his name even if she wasn’t in trouble.

Keith pulls Emma back into the present, and she realizes that she’s been unusually quiet during her recollection. He asks if she doesn’t like the galette, her face looked unusually troubled.

Emma quickly tells him that she was simply surprised, she has never had a galette with a sweet-salty taste before. It’s really delicious and now she has to restrain herself from eating more. Keith looks happy and admits that this is his favorite treat. For the first time since they sat down together at the tea table, Keith smiles, like a blossoming flower. If she liked that pastry, there are others that she might also enjoy.

With a dazzling smile, Keith begins heaping more deserts onto Emma’s plate. His body looks big and awkward, but there is something so neat and diligent about how he arranges her plate. It’s unexpectedly cute.

As Emma bites into a cookie given to her by Keith, she sees that he also has his own plate overfilled with snacks. She asks Keith if he too has a sweet tooth.  Keith admits that he does, though he has nothing on Gilbert. When he had given the latter a box of sweets the previous day, Gilbert gobbled everything up and just handed Keith back the empty box, asking for seconds.

Emma doesn’t know anything about Gilbert and asks Keith if he himself is a big eater. Keith doesn’t think he’s that bad, but today with Emma, he feels like eating a bit more than usual.

Emma feels herself beginning to relax. Chatting with Keith is relaxing, and it feels like some sort of tension she has carried in herself has been healed.

Emma wonders about what happened back at the Goodwill Party, and Keith’s endlessly cold eyes. No matter how much she thinks about it, she can’t reason why he had been like that.

She realizes that Keith has been watching her for a while now. Even though his eyes are a calm, gentle gold, she feels unsettled by his gaze and wonders why he’s staring at her. Emma calls out his name, and Keith starts, his eyes flickering away briefly before they return to meet hers.

Keith’s unexpectedly straight gaze pierces her, and Emma finds her heart pounding. He abruptly stands up, walking over to join Emma on her side of the table. He asks if she has any troubles, and to feel free to tell him anything. Then, as if to prevent her escape, he grasps her hand.

Keith explains that he understands he was so rude that mere words of apology, or even an apology tea party is not enough to make up for his social gaffe. Emma had been so quiet during that time that he has no doubt she was terrified. So, to make up for his horrible behavior, he wants to do a favor for her. Emma insists that he doesn’t need to worry about it, she had also been impertinent towards him. Leaning forward so that all she can see is his face, Keith insists that she take him up on his offer.

Emma’s heart pounds at the sudden closeness, and she finds breathing a chore. She has no idea what she should do, until her gaze alights on the sweets still on the table.

Emma tells Keith that if he’s that insistent on making it up to her, then she would love to have another tea party with him. Keith looks surprised, so she continues. Emma loved the deserts he brought to the party, and it’s always more fun to enjoy them with someone than to eat alone. If, of course, it’s not a problem for Keith.

Keith considers the request carefully before smiling back. If that’s what Emma wants, he will be happy to oblige her. Of course, his offer to come to him with her problems still stands even with the upcoming second tea party. He would happily do anything to help her.

Letting go of Emma’s hands, Keith settles into the seat next to her, crossing his legs, all while watching her. Emma realizes that he has no intention of returning to his original seat.

Idly, Keith strokes Emma’s hair, pushing a strand behind her ear. He explains that her hair had gotten a little messy and asks if he surprised her. Emma stammers thanks, which Keith graciously accepts.

Sipping her tea to escape his gaze, Emma wonders at Keith. Considering how he was acting just a short while ago, it feels like his personality has taken an abrupt shift. Then again, maybe he was just a really friendly guy once he broke out of his shell?

All Emma has to do is survive this tea party with no complications. After she proposed the second tea party, Keith had gotten less pushy, so it should be easy enough. Right?

Jingle-jingle. As they return to the castle from their tea party, Emma and Keith find Silvio waiting for them near Emma’s rooms. Silvio complains that he’s been looking for her and had no idea that she would be with the dark bastard.

Keith asks if Silvio has some sort of business with Emma, and Silvio explains that during his stay in Rhodolite, he has decided that she is to be his host. He warns Emma not to refuse him, or has she forgotten what her butler did to him during the Goodwill Party? Normally having a glass of champagne dumped on him would cause an international dispute, but she should be happy. He’s giving her an opportunity to personally make up for it.

Emma wishes that this was some kind of joke, but that would be way too convenient. Just as she had successfully navigated the tea party with Keith, this of all things has to happen.

Keith had actually missed this entire sequence of events and asks Emma to explain. She quickly summarizes Rio and Silvio’s interaction. Afterward, Keith looks like he’s holding back laughter, and turns sympathetically to Silvio. He is happy that Silvio didn’t catch a cold, but if he’s feeling sick, Keith knows some medicinal herbs that would help. Emma is confused, why would Keith suddenly be talking about medicinal herbs?

Silvio tells Keith to stop looking at him like he’s pitying him, unless Keith wants to find himself submerged in the sea. Looking depressed and sad, Keith complains that he was just worried about Silvio’s health.

However, there’s a problem with Silvio’s request. Keith moves behind Emma and places his large hands on her shoulders. You see, Emma has already agreed to be Keith’s exclusive host during his stay in Rhodolite.

Silvio and Emma both look at Keith with dumbfounded expressions.

Emma does not recall this agreement ever being spoken of between them. Oh my, does this mean that Keith just lied to Silvo’s face? Suddenly she remembers Keith promising to help her out of any troubles during their tea party, and wonders if he’s doing this to help her.

Keith subtly nudges Emma, they’ve already made plans that cannot be changed, right? Still off guard, Emma gives him a vague ‘maybe’ response. Silvio catches on to that and Emma doubles down that she definitely, most certainly, absolutely did make that agreement with Keith.

Keith’s smile is satisfied, and he teases her poor memory. Emma feels the same way she did back at the tea party when Keith had sat next to her and prompted this conversation. There’s an undeniable force that pressures her into capitulating to him.

Silvio wonders what would prompt Keith to ask anyone for a favor. Or is Gilbert’s secret mistress surprisingly that popular?

Keith doesn’t think that Emma would be a good mistress for him. Rather, he would prefer having her stay by his side as his lover.

Emma gapes at him.

There is an awkward pause between the three of them. Keith looks back at Emma with a slight smile, and instead of feeling kindness, Emma feels like she’s being bullied.

Keith explains that Emma’s smile is like a blooming flower, soft and cute. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her during their tea party, especially on how she ate with that small, cute mouth.

Silvio and Emma gape at him.

Keith continues, what made him like Emma the most is when she stared at him for ten seconds while listening to a boring story from him. It was then that he decided that he wouldn’t be satisfied with just a tea party.

Of course, Keith also wants to hear all about Rhodolite, but the tea party sealed it for him – he wants to spend more time with her. Oh, how embarrassing this confession is! Keith hopes that Silvio didn’t overhear him!

Silvio assures Keith that he just said all of this out loud where anyone could hear.

Oh no! How embarrassing! Still, Keith won’t give up on Emma.

Silvio is staring at Keith like he’s spontaneously grown a second head. Emma doesn’t know what she looks like, but her face feels hot.

She wonders if this is some strategy to make Silvio give up on demanding she host him. But she’s not sure he will give up just because of this love (?) confession by Keith.

Oh no! Emma has now discovered the reason Keith is staying in Rhodolite! He’s very sorry, but he cannot let Silvio monopolize Emma anymore. Besides, does Silvio recall that product they were discussing earlier? Keith would be so happy if Silvio would forget about it and not sign that contract.

Suddenly, Keith grabs Emma’s hand and starts running away from Silvio.

They run until they reach Emma’s room, and stopping in front of it, Keith glances behind him. They don’t hear the sound of footsteps or even jingling, so it seems that they lost Silvio. Keith is pleased with himself for bringing up that contract, Silvio is probably dealing with that instead of chasing them.

Silvio is the kind of person who, once he decides on something, will carry it out until the end. If he really wanted Emma to host him, he would have made his move the moment he had received permission for an extended stay in Rhodolite. Emma thinks that Keith is correct.

Emma wishes that Keith hadn’t said all that, Silvio is undoubtedly going to misunderstand their relationship. Keith catches up to what she is referring to and explains that he was stalling for time until an opportunity to escape came up. Emma wonders if he was planning on making a run for it from the beginning, and thinks Keith is the kind of person who makes unexpected decisions.

Keith thinks that Silvio had been looking for a lie to catch Keith up in. But, unfortunately for him, everything Keith had said had been true. He squeezes Emma’s hand, which he had been holding since they started running from Silvio and lets go of her.

Flushed at this, Emma opens her mouth before deciding to change the subject. She thanks Keith, and he responds that he is happy that he was of some little assistance to her. Emma assures him that he was very helpful, imagining all the unreasonable things Silvio would have her do. Besides, with the ‘until I’m satisfied’ end point, she might have to host Silvio for months before she would be let go. Oh, but does that mean that Rio has to be burdened with Silvio’s demands instead? She will have to consult with Sariel.

Suddenly Keith looks straight at Emma like he has changed his mind. He tells Emma that he will see her again tomorrow. After all, if they don’t keep up the charade Silvio would kick down the door to Emma’s room again and demand that she feel honored in serving him. Keith apologizes for his help coming with extra work for Emma.

Emma can understand what Keith is getting at, even though the castle is large, if Emma doesn’t attend to Keith during his stay, Silvio will find out.

While entertaining and hosting Keith would keep her away from Silvio, it’s difficult to accept given Emma’s true circumstances. She is still uncertain as to his motives, and furthermore, he is a prince.

While she is grateful for Keith’s help, she must decline it after all. She can’t bring herself to bother Keith anymore. She understands that this will put her back into Silvio’s sights, but she will figure out a way to handle it.

Keith tells her that he really doesn’t mind spending time with her. He wants to get to know Rhodolite better, and it gives him a chance to make up for his previous rudeness. It’s a win-win scenario for him, and he gets to be of use to Emma. He steps closer, closing the distance between them.

For some reason, Emma’s heart begins to pound unpleasantly.

Keith doesn’t want to be a liar. He asks if Emma won’t reconsider.  

(Can you say no to this face?)

Under his gaze, Emma’s skin begins to itch. She had seen Keith smile plenty of times during the tea party, but right now his smile looks alien. It’s calm enough, but there’s something so cold about it that makes Emma feel like she will freeze.

Wondering at her discomfort, Emma looks into Keith’s eyes. It’s unconscious and unintentional, she doesn’t really want to know the meaning behind Keith’s new smile.

Keith’s eyes widen a little and then narrow. He has an expression like he has found something interesting. Emma feels like her body is in some sort of sleep paralysis, as if she can’t move. Suddenly there is a hand at her waist, pulling her close to Keith.

Keith tells her not to stare so intently at him. He’s a simple man and her gaze makes him self-conscious. Emma wouldn’t like that feeling either, right?

Tap, tap, Keith’s fingers shift against Emma’s waist. He whispers to her that she must not like it, and still feeling like she’s dreaming, Emma agrees.

Inches from her face, Keith whispers that he wants her to listen to him until the end. His fingers continue their gentle taps against her waist. Emma can feel Keith’s breath against her ear, and he asks her to tell him what he wants to hear.

Emma hurtles herself back and away from Keith, hitting the door to her room. Emma stammers out that she’s reconsidered her role as his host. Keith asks what is wrong with being his host, and Emma replies that she would love to, but she needs permission first. Keith lowers his eyebrows and takes a step forward, muttering what a shame this situation is. Emma is appalled at realizing that Keith’s actions and words are opposites.

To keep him from coming closer, Emma offers to go and ask for permission, and then tell Keith what the result is. Keith brightens up and admits that he got pushy when he thought she was outright rejecting him. He apologizes for behaving so poorly in front of her. The Keith in front of Emma has a calm and relaxed demeanor, and she wishes she was close enough to ask about this change in temperament.

Emma feels like she had dreamed of their weird interaction, but her heart is still pounding in her throat. It had been real.

Keith tells Emma that he is looking forward to her answer, and then leaves, taking the tension with him. When he is gone, Emma slides down her door.

She’s now in trouble. Emma needs to choose a new king without the visiting princes finding out that the current king is dead. And now the further complication of being Prince Keith’s exclusive host has surfaced. She will of course report this to Sariel, but she had no doubt that there is only one thing she can do. If she doesn’t host Keith, all it will do is change the target to Silvio.

Keith might have been trying to help her out of the goodness of his heart, and she shouldn’t doubt his intentions. On the other hand, due to her circumstances, she will always be on edge when dealing with people from other countries.

Since Jade is a neutral country, there is not a lot of information about it in Rhodolite. Emma should use this opportunity to broaden her knowledge of Jade, and it might be an opportunity to find out why Keith came to Rhodolite in the first place.

***

Can he have fun with that woman?

. . . hey, it's impossible.

Keith jumps as if he came out of a nightmare. He looks around the room, his room, hair sticking to his forehead in a cold sweat. He covers his face with his hands and falls back into the bed. That terrible voice he had just heard fades away.

Wait, what day is it today? How long has it been since they switched?

[dear-mrs-otome]

Silvio Ricci - Main Story - Chp 11

Standard Disclaimer: I do this for fun. I don’t, and never would, claim to be proficient at JP. There will be mistakes herein. There will be dialogue I choose to smooth out or change, because it feels choppy just straight translating. There will be the occasional snarky aside and irreverence and just plain summarizing. If you’re looking for 100% pure accuracy, without commentary or localizing, this is not for you. If you don’t mind that…then proceed, and I hope you enjoy! And please, support your local localizer (they make this stuff look easy) and Cybird by playing the games and routes when they come to English.

Also P.S. I am just making up Gilbert's weird nicknames as I go, on a whim. Please do not take them seriously.

~~~~~~~~

It’s early in the morning, before the sun’s finished rising, when the chime of jingling is heard headed towards a quiet deserted part of the palace. Silvio pushes open the door (which is too grandiose AKA heavy to kick) and enters. It’s quiet and tranquil inside the space only used for special occasions…but that peace doesn’t last, because Silvio comes storming in, radiating silent fury.

He makes his way up the nave lined with pews to the lectern at the front, where Gilbert is poised as if to disrespect God. 

He laughs as Silvio approaches. “In a bit of a foul mood today, aren’t we?”

An angry Silvio tells him he was way off mark about the woman, kicking the podium in frustration. But Gilbert is unperturbed by the fit of pique, and says that Jade has even rougher family circumstances than Belle, so he can’t blame anyone. 

“Oh, and I suppose you had nothing to do with their family mess,” Silvio says caustically.

Gilbert only seems amused, and laughs off the accusation, pointing out that he doesn’t have to make any messes for Jade - they’ve got enough sordid family affairs of their own already, don’t they? He was just making a bit of use of it - and besides, Silvio stepped in and interrupted their dour pal didn’t he? 

“I’m just fed up with your nasty methods,” Silvio argues. “Supposing she chooses to be an Obsidian spy to hide her identity as Belle…”

“Of course Mr. Gloomies….or no, I’m afraid the ‘beast’ that he keeps would not be so quiet about it, would he?” He point out that any hint of being associated with Obsidian would imply that here was a secret agreement between Rhodolite and Obsidian, which would spell out bad news for Jade. “Which is probably why he got a bit rough trying to get information out of Miss Bunny, right?”

The air in the chapel ripples with fury again, and Sivio levels a fierce stare at those impassive red eyes. “I. Don’t like the way you do things.”

“So you don’t want to work with me?” Gilbert asks. 

Silvio agrees and is ready to be done with all this, but Gilbert stops him and reminds him he’s not someone to just brush aside - there’s only two options for him here where Gilbert is concerned. He can work with Gilbert, or he can be forced to work with Gilbert.

At Silvio’s wary confusion, Gilbert laughs. “You don’t know what that means?” He jumps off the dais and points his cane at Silvio’s throat, before Silvio has time to react. “Mr. Gloomy questioned Miss Bunny, and you helped her - that’s all going just how I’d planned.” Silvio looks surprised, and Gilbert goes on. “Because I have no intentions of hurting Miss Bunny.”

Silvio scoffs with derision at the very idea of Gilbert saying something like that, huffing with irritation and grabbing the cane. 

“I don’t lie. But…depending on just what you do, I may have to turn my heart into a beast,” Gilbert warns.

“Ha, so that’s it,” Silvio says. “You sicced that dour bastard on her not to try and corner her - it's a threat meant for me.” 

When Silvio shoves the cane away, Gilbert doesn’t resist - merely lowers it and smiles. “You saved Miss Bunny, so I’d say the threat proved effective.” In the face of Silvio’s silence Gilbert tells him he’ll give Silvio a little more time to consider things, but he’d best hurry. “Actually…you don’t have much time at all.”

A scowling Silvio tries to ask him what he means by that, but Gilbert only laughs and plays innocent before leaving on a loaded smile without looking back. 

As soon as he’d gone, Silvio slams his fist into the nearby lectern. “What kind of bullshit...” he snarls to the empty chapel. “There’s no way that woman can be any threat against me, damn it!”

~~~~~~~~

In Emma’s room, Rio has brought her breakfast and her schedule for the day to look over, the same as every morning since she came to the court. Although this morning there’s a difference in that she’s wearing the collar again - noticing it jingle slightly as she reaches for her tea. 

Rio is, as one might imagine, less than thrilled to see it and offers to find her some other accessory for the day, but she declines since 1) it’ll keep Silvio happy and 2) she’s gotta cover up the marks he left last night. She’s vowing to herself to never let that happen again…when her traitor brain replays the moment when he had pointed out the expression she’d been making.

She’s never gonna let that happen again. Never ever EVER. But her face is heated without her permission, and she takes a sip of tea to cover it up. 

Rio points out that she can just not wear the collar, it’s not like she has to see Silvio, right?

But she says no, that’s not exactly the case, and she remembers she’d forgotten to fill Rio in on the deets of last night. 

“Did Silvio threaten you?!” Rio asks, aghast at the thought of him having some leverage on her.

She says that’s not true, thinking of Silvio’s comments last night about how she had a duty to show him what was good about her country to prove to him it was worth maintaining the alliance, and she gives Rio a brief rundown on the whole conversation.

Only for him to collapse to his knees when she’d finished, wailing how Silvio had used such underhanded means to try and keep Emma stuck with him. Clearly he’s just made up some excuse to force her to entertain him.

Honestly, he’s probably right, she thinks. But… “I wanted to do it.”

‘Why?” Rio asks.

“I don’t hate Silvio as much as I used to,” is her plain explanation, that has Rio stunned. “And, well, look. He helped me out the other day, didn’t he? I want to thank him properly for that.”

There’s absolutely no other reason, she reminds herself. Right?

She tells Rio that starting tomorrow, she wants time set aside to entertain Silvio, and he looks worried. Places a hand on her head to check for a fever, and points out that she doesn’t seem to have one …but her face is kind of flushed.

“Y-you’re just imagining things!” she splutters, jumping back. Only to clasp her hands together beseechingly. “Pleeeeaaase, Rio?”

She knows he basically controls her schedule, and if he refuses it’ll be almost impossible to find the time.

Rio assures her he can’t ever tell her no, he’s her loyal-as-a-doggo butler. Smiling as he usually does, but she can see the worry written all over his gaze. “But…can I come along so we entertain Silvio together? So that he won’t try and mark you again.”

She agrees and tells him it’ll be reassuring to have him along, thanking him. Certain that if Rio’s along, Silvio won’t try anything untoward. “Let’s both make Prince Silvio fall in love with Rhodolite!”

Rio smiles, noting how cute she is when she’s all fired up. “But…” His smile sobers, a shadow falling over his expression. “I hope it’s Rhodolite he falls in love with.”

She asks what he means by that, and Rio exclaims that she has to be careful - she’s quite the charmer! When she only seems bemused, he waves it off and urges her to finish her breakfast. 

That’s crazy talk, she thinks. How would that tyrant ever fall in love with her.

~~~~~~~~

This is how Operation Impress Silvio begins.

On the first day, they take him to a bar to sample some of the liquor highly recommended by Leon and Jin. To say that Silvio is less than pleased to see Rio along would be an understatement, but Rio blithely plays innocent - until Emma is forced to step in and bring their attention back to the purpose at hand before a fight breaks out. 

“This is a favorite of Prince Leon and Prince Jin,” she tells Silvio as she pours him a measure of rose wine and urges him to taste it. 

He lifts the glass with his usual elegance-belies-the-tyranny manners, and takes a sip. “Hm? Can’t argue that it’s a top-notch drink.”

Triumphantly, she tells him he can only sample this delicious rose wine in Rhodolite, but he points out that he could simply buy the distiller and probably make it in Benitoite too. That shuts her up, and he looks amused. “Not quite enough to make the grade, eh?”

“Of course I didn’t think I’d win you over with just this,” she counters. “The real show starts now!”

Silvio grins. “Heh…so you say. I hope all that bravado doesn’t end up being just for show.” He reaches out and ruffles her hair, and while it’s a bit of a pain to have her hairstyle messed up…she can’t say she dislikes it. To her own surprise. 

Rio merely watches on in silence.

~~~~~~~~

On day 2, she takes Silvio to the hillside overlooking the city, saying how she knows he was just there the other day but this is her and Rio’s favorite place.

Rio agrees that it’s the best - drinking delicious juice and walking around town. “Thats why, being the ever-so-competent person that I am, I brought some juice for Prince Silvio. Recommended by Prince Clavis himself, it’s ‘super spicy’ and if you drink it you’ll be invigorated -”

A frowning Silvio states that Rio doesn’t seem interested in actually entertaining him at all, grabbing his head when Rio gleefully pulls out the juice. 

Amidst Rio’s ows, Emma steps in, calling Silvio’s attention to the delicious looking juice she has. 

“Give me a drink, woman,” Silvio commands, and she echoes him blankly. “I’m too busy cracking this guy’s head open. I can’t do it myself.”

As Rio’s protesting, she agrees to if Silvio will stop trying to crush Rio. She sticks a straw in the juice and hastily puts it in Silvio’s mouth, and his annoyed expression breaks into a smile. “Definitely pretty decent, yeah.”

She’s lost for a second in the sight of his soft smile, before slapping herself out of it. She’s not about to start going all mooney-eyed over him or anything.

And Rio watches on, saying nothing.

~~~~~~~~

On the third day, they’re in the gardens.

“Rhodolite is famous for having the most beautiful roses on the continent,” Emma says. “Today we’re going back to our roots and taking a tour of the gardens!”

Silvio starts to complain about not being interested in something crappy - before breaking off. “Hey, you damned butler! Don’t pinch my hand!” 

Rio plays innocent, and swears up and down he’d never do such a thing, earning Silvio’s ire before Emma has to referee. Again. She change the subject abruptly and says she heard from Yves and Licht that there was a SEKRIT gazebo in the far back of the gardens.

“Apparently it was built by the king many generations ago for the sole purpose of trysts with his queen,” she explains. “Now there’s no one left to use it. Doesn’t that make your heart swoon a little? I can’t wait!”

“You’re the only one who can’t,” Silvio grumbles.

 Ignoring him, she finds the gate hidden beneath thick ivy and unlocks it with the key Sariel had given her, and Rio throws the door open. She’s awestruck by the vivid garden beyond - more wild, less tamed than the tidy roses out on the main grounds, but their bright blooms surround the antiquated gazebo in splashes of color. And maybe because it’s a place people seldom come in or out of, the perfume of roses dances softly on the air as she walks around.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” she breathes, delighted. “It really does feel like a secret place only a few special people know about.”

Rio sighs wistfully. “Emma’s smile is so pretty, I wish I could keep it in a painting. Don’t you agree, Prince Silvio-”

Rio looks over and startles at the sight of silent, blushing Silvio. “...Prince Silvio?”

Excitedly, Emma notices that the path continues on behind the pavilion. “We’ve got permission to explore, so let’s see where it goes!”

“Hold up, don’t just go charging off ahead on a path all overgrown like that!” Silvio calls after her. (coughworrywartcough)

And on a long silence, Rio watches.

~~~~~~~~

On the fourth day, she cooks for him.

“What’s this?” Silvio asks, looking over the dish before him in his room, and Emma explains that it’s a fricassee, a specialty of Rhodolite home cooking. 

She’s feeling pretty good about the one she and Rio have whipped up here as she says she’d heard from Nokto that Silvio was interested in comfort fare like this.

“You’re the only one who’d want me to eat something so plain looking,” Silvio says, and an indignant Rio says it’s a delicacy - but if he doesn’t want it he’ll go find Silvio a ‘royal’ meal right now. 

“Hey, don’t try and take it away! I never said I wouldn’t eat it!” Silvio protests.

He lifts the plate and stands up to avoid Rio’s grabby hands, spooning a bite into his mouth. “Huh…so this is what ‘home cooking’ tastes like.”

“How is it?” Emma asks anxiously.

Silvio grins. “Pretty decent for an amateur.” Rio reminds him that what his mistress is looking for is a definitive whether it tastes good or not, and Silvio sobers a bit. “It doesn’t taste bad, I suppose.”

“Not ‘delicious’?!” Rio prompts.

“...I’m not going to not eat it again,” Silvio tsundere-hedges still. 

“Really?” Emma asks. “Then I’ll make another home-cooked Rhodolite meal for you.” Silvio says he’ll give her some time to make dinner then in that case so she’d best work hard to please him, which she turns right back around. “And you’d better practice so you can just say it’s delicious honestly next time.”

“...Saucy, aren’t we,” he fires back, setting her off into a flurry of protests as he starts mussing up her hair.

Rio, watching on, holds his tongue…but lets out a heavy sigh.

~~~~~~~~

Day five rolls around…and over breakfast Emma is musing aloud what sort of thing they should entertain Silvio with today. This morning meeting has become her new daily routine, and as she sips her tea she ponders plans in her head.

But there's no reply from Rio, until she calls his name questioningly and he snaps back to attention. "Ah! Sorry…sorry, it was nothing."

She wonders to herself what's up with him. He seems to be zoning out like that a lot lately, and it's only been getting worse. She'd been determined to wait and let him talk when he felt ready to, about whatever is weighing on his mind, but she's beginning to wonder if she should broach the subject with him anyways.

Just as she's dithering over that, a soft knock sounds at the door. "Pardon me. It's Prince Keith…might I have a moment of your time?"

Surprised, she exchanges a glance with Rio and takes a deep breath to loosen the tension that had stiffened her body. She gives the okay and Rio opens the door - but Keith remains hovering on the threshold, not entering.

Then he drops into a bow so genteel and elegant it blows her away. "I am so very, very sorry about the other day!" he exclaims, leaving Rio and Emma stunned. "I'm certain there's no apology that can make up for it, but I would like to offer you one regardless. You are free to beat me up all you wish!"

"Please stand up, Prince Keith!" an agitated Emma asks. "...And Rio, put your hand down."

As she restrains Rio before he can throw a punch, she urges Keith to straighten up. He seems a completely different person than last time, with genuine sincerity shining in his golden eyes.

Emma tells him she's over it, and Keith notes how she very kind she is. Rio warns him it'd better never happen again, and an earnest Keith assures him it won't.

"In addition…I'd like to give you this as a gesture of apology," Keith offers, to both Rio and Emma's surprise. 

~~~~~~~~

Silvio's 2nd Letter

I'll say some good things, so read this.

Your hosting hasn't been too bad lately. The only thing I don't get is why every time you come to host, it's always with that shitty dog…but leaving that aside, what you're doing has gotten a million times better. I especially liked the rose fricassee. You should definitely make it again. And give me some of your other home cooking - of course, made by you, right? If it's Rhodolite home-cooking, that means it's something that only you can make. That's the flavor I want, so don't let anyone else cook for me. ……Also, don't let the damn dog help you make it. Call me rather than cook alone with him. I'll help you out a bit. Keep up the good work, Hostess.

~ Silvio Ricci

~~~~~~~~

<< Chp 10 Avatar Challenge | Chp 12 >>

[drottni]

LBFAD rewatch observations part 5

1. Shangque is so pure and straightforward.

2. The way DFQC immediately latches onto any explanation of XLH's behavior of saving him. When Shangque says "she had an opportunity to escape but she gave it up to save you. It shows that..." and DFQC eagerly turns to him and says "shows that?" like yesss please?!?! tell me what does this mean?!?!? someone! anyone! And then immediately rejects the idea of "she's becoming a loyal subject like me!"

3. No words for how beautifully soft that petal shower scene is. Her joy and his smile. 🥺

4. The great Dongfang Qincang and his weakness for Flower Cakes made by his wife.

5. "Damutou is more intimate" !! 🤝🏼 "You can call me whatever you want" !! 🙃🙃🙃🥺

6. Man. Dylan Wang's acting in that "high on XLH's emotions" scene was soooo goood. The tortured joy where he is laughing but you also see his frustration. The angry sadness where you can see him crying but also the rage. His shaking hands as he grabs the Jade Ring and the deep breaths to ground himself. Oof. *Chefs kisses*

7. Also can we just talk about the multiple times he has made a fool of himself in front of his advisors because of her shenanigans but like....it never impacted his reign. They just figured out logical explanations and kind of just went with it... (excluding Xunfeng ofcourse because he actually can and does question DFQC). Like his advisors must be having headaches from the whiplash of emotions he gave them 😆

8. Sulking DFQC and coaxing XLH are the cutest. Ignoring her as they leave the pond illusion. The way he is shaking as he tells her she could have died if he didn't come on time and that she has to stay within his sight always. Her offering up the Destiny Book to please him. His disgruntled "oh so you fixed it right away for Changheng, I see how it is" her "ah but you know what saved me! This little inside thing that only you and I know!". And then finally him easing off and telling her "I would find you anywhere" and her teary eyed "My master who was the dearest person to me said the same thing and you...." All the little ways these two say "I love you I love you" without yet realizing that they do.

9. HIS HANDS. When she passes out and he catches her. His hands just rubbing her shoulder out of affection, concern, the need to feel she is still here alive with him. Ahh. That subtle movement 👌. (Also. Her just passing out from the exertion of her powers and maybeee from the almost realization that this menace of a king, the great Moon Supreme, might also be someone very dear to her. Like yes gurl I too would just pass out on the brink of such a realization)

10. "Are you still angry?" *cute little smile* "No" *sulk* "Yes you are" *pout*... "Damutou, I'm soooryy" *big puppy eyes* "Eat." *melted under the ray of her sunshine*. THE CUTEST BABIESS. (I love that she apologizes. Despite the fact that her intentions had never been to run but she acknowledges that she put him in a bad situation. That she sees how much this upset him and she is sorry for that.)

11. "You can't just come into my heart" 🤝🏼 "I can go wherever I want" 💀💀

12. "Why was I allowed to in the past? What's the difference now?" XLH: UHM SIR I WASN'T IN LOVE WITH YOU THEN. DO YOU MIND IM TRYNA HANDLE THESE NEW FEELINGS.

13. DFQC is such a heavy full of depth and compelling character and I just love Dylan Wang's portrayal and I just--- gahhh! *muffled screams*

14. I don't think I can express in words how much I love the scene of DFQC turning away from XLH while he weeps and then turning and collapsing into her. It is art. It is poetry. It is EVERYTHING. Dylan Wang's acting my god. The pain the sorrow the need for comfort its all so beautifully expressed on his face. XLH's tears and pain for him. The hands. Ofcourse the hands 😭😭 Also. XLH refusing to give up until she found the thorn pricking at him and pulled it out so he could heal. I love her. For seeing the pain and anger buried in him and saying "something here is not right. His reputation as a terrible monster who slaughters his family is wrong. I will figure this out and I will help him however I can" and then doing it! Refusing to back down even at the last minute when he says it isn't her place to ask! Being there for him as he goes through the grieiving process. Fiercely defending him against everyone who dares to say he is heartless. God. I love them both.

15. Head empty no thoughts just DFQC's little hand gesture stopping XLH in her tracks before she can come to stop him from taking the lightening strikes.

16. DFQC asking her to teach him how to be warm towards people because no one ever taught him that 😭😭

17. Her teaching him how to smile by showing it to him and then suggesting to also "hug" Xunfeng and his love adled brain IMMEDIATELY going "How?" *puppy eyes* and her immediately almost folding him into a hug but just barely stopping herself! You cannot tell me he did not know that would happen. He definitely knew she would "show" not "tell" and most definitely wanted her to hug him. We already seen him be sneaky as heck when telling her "No I am still weak I neeeeed you to help me walk" when it was straight up nonsense 😄 Even adding little fake coughs to convince her. I love me a sneaky husband who tries to coax more love out of his wife.

18. "This is the first time I have ever thanked a person. Don't refuse me." 😭🥲

That entire interaction of theirs is so giggle inducingly cute like omg the smiles they can barely contain the teasing "are my flower cakes ready?" "did you finish your medicine" "its too bitter *pout* but I did it, not a single drop left! *satisfied smirk*" AAHAHHHHHHHH but this line !! "Don't refuse me" !! Don't take this moment from me! Just let me adore youuuuuuuuu!!!!

[the-heaminator]

Project: Plain Old Vanilla chapter 2 electric boogaloo

here on ao3

They were dismissed, and that whole experience was a different level of surreal, the whole thing was still being processed by the time Yao dismissed them, married? They would have to pretend to be married, with kids no less, neither of them had been part of a family, less a functional one for 30-odd years, if not longer.

The best that they thought they could do was keep them fed, watered, and hope alive, that is what they thought at least, that was the best they could do, they did not have very high hopes for themselves, and for good reason too, they didn't know what to do with themselves anymore right now, what would they do with children.

But first Ivan had to get Eleanor off him, he hadn't had the heart to wake her up directly, she was small and quite light, very easy to carry, he shot a look towards the others, Jack was leaning against Matthew almost completely, he looked a bit washed out right now, it felt wrong to see him like that, and Matthew was slightly leaning against Alfred who was glaring at Ivan, but only half-heartedly, they were children, they must be tired, and Eleanor was heavy for them to carry at least.

Arthur was out of the chair and most of the way out of the door when Ivan called him over, Yao was just watching this whole scene unfold, this was funny, truly, he knew inside somehow that they would be good with kids, despite there being no real reason but seeing the tenderness in which Ivan handled Eleanor, really cemented it for him, and she was an incredibly jaded 7-year-old, she would only even relax near people she trusted, let alone fall asleep on them, even asleep she was very discerning.

It did not help his case that he was incredibly soft, and his coat was warm and soft, much like the rest of him.

But now he had to figure out how on earth to get up without waking up the child and without embarrassing himself as he did so.

He reckoned getting Arthur to pick her up would be a safe bet, she wasn't very heavy, at least not to him, and the chair was not doing well under their combined weight, any little movement and it groaned and creaked, Arthur carefully picked her up, not blinking wile he did so for some reason, she looked a lot larger compared to Arthur than she did when on Ivan, and he managed to haul himself out of the chair, take hold of her once more, and very politely ask where they stayed at.

He had an inkling, he had been there before at some point, Matthew got really sick once and he was voted up to try and wrestle some medicine into him, he vaguely remembered the directions, but was not too sure, so he followed the children out of Yao's office, bidding him farewell and closing the door, all information would be in the file that Arthur was clutching with a white-knuckled grip, it was a very heavy file, it definitely had an absolute unit of paperwork in it, he was holding it kind of like someone would hold their last hope in the world.

Oh they both were desperate desperate, they had no life outside of the agency whatsoever, they would cling to this as best as they could with what Yao deemed to be their starting to fail bodies.

The small troupe of children led them up a couple flights of stairs in the back, just si no one would see them, they themselves thought they were the first to use these corridors, them being in as much of a state as they were in, but both Arthur and Ivan had vague recollections of rendezvous in here when they just joined, quarreling and fighting like alley cats with Yao and Francis, all in jest of course, the smell of damp hit Arthur with a memory so powerful, being clamped to the wall by Ivan, he was always far taller and stronger than Arthur, slammed him against the wall.

Oh he was feral then, piercings and all, these very corridors probably had generations of peoples and their memories, for these ones it must be something of sneaking about undetected, for Arthur and Ivan it reeked of adrenaline and anger, the best kind, the type that cleared the mind for a split second before losing itself beneath waves of what was a mixture of pleasure and pain, Ivan was strong, he always managed to get him against the wall, usually off his feet too, panting like a wild animal.

He loved it then, still did now, he never thought of that before actually, he had not thought of this place for decades, and he less expected the memories to be so visceral, he almost wanted to recreate it, almost.

He saw the way that Ivan's demeanour changed, he drew himself up stiff, to his full height, before Eleanor stirred, and he softened again, this place felt nostalgic in the most raw way, but right now he had to climb all those blasted stairs, they sucked then and they sicked far, far worse now, Arthur or Yao always got to the top first, they made a sort of challenge out of it, Ivan always took an age to get up, and he took even longer now, finally scaling the stairs to a lot of creaking under everyone's weight, just more under Ivan's, until they got to a door that led out to a forgottenish corridor on second floor, Alfred put in a pin in the pad, the door opened, and in was their room.

Four identical beds, all in differing levels of disarray, it looked lived in, Alfred had faded superhero posters on the walls, he assumed ot was Alfred's, the one first to the door, the periodic table and some weird looking blueprints that Ivan would examine later, they did certainly look rather interesting indeed, Matthew had some hockey memorabilia on his walls, Canadian teams the lot of it, he wanted to scan the room but his arms started to hurt and Matthew pointed over to the bed at the far end, furthest away from the door, he gently placed Eleanor in the little indent in the middle

She looked smaller when enveloped in such a large bed, Ivan again absentmindedly stroked her hair, it was thick and dark, not tangled at all and very silky soft, and as he tried to retract his arm, she held on with incredibly strength coming from a seven year old.

Jack was honest at the best of times, but when he was sleeping he got downright blunt "I think she likes you, but I ain't dealing with her clinging to me now, I'm going to bed." He sounded whiny, like a child, as he buried himself into the blankets, he had more on his bed than on anyone elses, he complained of being cold a lot, so it did make sense, he yawned but didn't fall asleep just yet, instead engrossed with watching how Ivan reacted to being clung to by a small child.

Again this was comedy gold at its goddamn finest, it was not every day you got a 6'7 spy looking incredibly confused because a 7 year old was clinging to their arm for heaven knows why, his coat was soft yes, but it cant be softer than the blanket, he was still kneeling down and his knees were hurting now, but she seemed to have no interest in letting go, so he carefully picked himself up and sat down on the bed next to her, accidentally pulling her towards himself in the process.

Alfred and Matt had sat down on the bed too, on Matthew's, Arthur was still holding the file and was drinking in the sight of the room the best as he could with his less than ideal vision, he slowly asked "Ivan, do you want to go to my place to discuss...arrangements?"

Ivan did not hear, Arthur spoke almost at a whisper and from across the room, it was a frankly mad idea to imagine him being able to hear that from so far away when yiu couldn't hear whispering unless it was done directly in his ear, he was looking at Eleanor with an odd mix of emotions on his face, he was feeling all sorts of soft right now, Arthur grimaced and repeated it just about loud enough for Ivan to hear that he was saying something.

"Eh?"

"Oh for the love of god Ivan I've already repeated it twice, do you want to come to my place to discuss the arrangements about this whole fiasco, this file is heavy, it needs to be looked through."

Ivan nodded, at least Arthur didn't say they would do it at his place, his place, he had been there for a couple months, longer than usual, was an absolute mess and reeked to high heaven, but it was clean enough that Ivan could not care, Alfred interjected, Jack had fallen asleep against his will and started awake, Alfred was loud by nature, so Ivan had no problems hearing him, and Eleanor was a deep sleeper, she wouldn't wake up.

"We are part of this whole mission, shouldn't we be informed of it too."

Matthew spoke quite, but agreed "Yea, we are half of your undercover, we also need to be in on this."

Jack was still half asleep and looked at Arthur bewildered "Uh, yea, what he said.." and smashed his face back into his pillow.

They mot certainly had a point, but Arthur was not in the mood to talk right about now, he needed sleep, or coffee, or both, he wouldn't discriminate he just needed it, and so he flatly cut them off "You have a point, but Eleanor is still asleep, Jack is mostly asleep and both of you look ready to drop off, get some sleep first, then we can discuss."

He hoped he didn't look as sleep deprived as he was, he did, he looked very sleep deprived, but to make a point he carefully set down the file onto Alfred's bedside table, it already had a lot of stuff on it, pens, pencils, far too many screwdrivers and other such tinkering on it, he leaned against the wall, Ivan slumped as he sat, the room was silent, Jack had fallen asleep properly at last, Arthur and Alfred were glaring at eachother, Arthur's eyes were beyond tired, they were kind of unfocused and dim, they would be flitting around if they werent focused on Alfred.

Matthew was just kind of sitting there, this was a scene and a half wasn't it now, he wanted nothing more than to go through that file and figure out what was going on, but what was better was watching Alfred and Arthur doing whatever it was that they were doing, the tension was thick on that side of the room, and non existent on the other, Matthew noted that Ivan's eyes had closed for a couple seconds each time before he remembered to open them, Eleanor had let go, but he seemed to not have registered that, and instead used his now free hand to stroke her hair.

She would probably mind when she woke up, bit awake she was not, and to be fair Ivan wasn't all that lucid either, just about awake like Arthur, though he had no spite to prop him up at the moment, Arthur did.

The glaring continued before Alred finally broke the silence, quietly, Ivan's eyes had stayed closed for a minute now, his arm was still moving, but only barely, his head was straight, for now, Arthur had no clue what happened but Alfred's face split into a grin and said "Hey, old man, wanna see my blueprints!"

Arthur did not take nicely to being called old man, and he wasn't all that great with mechanics, but he would do anything to stay awake, and if that was listen to a 14 year old ramble on about mechanics, than so be it.

Arthur was beckoned to Alfred's bed, where he sat cross legged, he always forgot that both Alfred and Matthew were taller than him already, he was rather short, just about making 5'6, but they were literally 13 and 14, and already taller than him, Alfred started showing him something that looked like a tiny model go kart that actually worked on the table, Arthur could not see the individual mechanisms that Alfred was pointing at, Matthew started to get excited too, but keeping their voices down, and even as Arthur tried his darnest to listen, he asked questions every so soften, to make sure the others knew he was listening.

But eventually he too fell asleep, all the anxiety and adrenaline about the meeting had worn off, he had a killer headache from sleep deprivation and caffeine withdrawal, and hunger, and he finally slumped and fell properly asleep, cross legged and stiff backed on Alfred's bed, desperately trying not to look like he was asleep when he very clearly was.

Matthew could see eyebags, sunk deep into his face, he looked human now, oddly enough, not like he was made of stone like he seemed to be otherwise, but human.

After a while, a good hour and a half, everyone was asleep, save for him and Matt, and Alfred had an idea, a very stupid one, but hey this is Alfred, cut the kid some slack, he put on his best major general voice, went right up to Arthur's ear and whispered, loudly "Agent Kirkland!"

He shot awake, eyes darting around like a caged animals before he remembered where he was and suppressed the urge to strangle the children, he had just fucking gotten to sleep, but instead of being mean about him falling asleep, they just lkinged at Eleanor's bed, Ivan was asleep on it too, it could take Arthur too.

He limped over there, he got pins and needles from sleeping cross legged, and sat on the bed, well more curled up next to Ivan, but he was too tired to care, and ended up with his head in Ivan's soft lap, deeply asleep the both of them, actually the four of them.

Alfred and Matthew were watching this scene, maybe this would go well for them.

Perhaps.

Maybe

They would have a family again.

@apersonwholikeslotus I hope you know that you caused this

[ofluminance-a]

@ashrifts said: “ i know it’s not fair to ask you to wait for me, but i can’t bear the thought of seeing you with someone else.  ” akane :) / shippy memes.

" ... " the idea that she was going to be separated from ran at all was.. bone chilling. for two years, her home would feel empty. and what was she to do with all that.. time? her heart felt as though it was stuck inside a vice. & if someone cranked the lever too hard, it might just end up broken, without repair.

he doesn't have much time, akane is well aware of that simple fact as they sit in the detective's office. she's happy he even offered to give her any time alone with ran at all. -- still, seeing ran here, in.. handcuffs, akane's on the verge of tears and doing all she can to hold them in. ------ how and when had things gotten to this point?

" would you.. ju - j- ust shut up and listen !? " her hushed shouts of anger only upset akane more. " i know, what this life means to you - but, what you're asking of ME? how can you-- why would you even- ... RAN!! " with trembling hands, akane runs her hands shakily through her hair, still in disbelief that this was moment even happening.

her leg bounces in aggravation as the minutes pass. & hot tears slide down akane's cheeks; smearing her makeup further. no one in their right mind could answer such a question and yet, ran still was asking her to do so, at this very moment !! but... NOW of all times ?!

finally, after a few heavy breaths, akane lifts her head from beneath a veil of auburn and jade meets lilac with all the love she has left to muster despite everything that's happened today. she can think about her own problems tomorrow. right now, this may be her last chance to be this close to ran for several years. she can't let this be the way he remembers this day.

with a gasp of air, that cries somewhere from inside her chest ( making it sound more like whimper. ) akane throws her arms around ran's shoulders, and sobs into the crook of his neck.

" you-- you- idiot! " one hand grips the fabric of his shirt while the other slides up his neck to his his cheek, so that akane can kiss him, salty tears and all. the kiss isn't short, it's full of so much emotion, akane isn't even sure where it comes from. but, after she gives the kiss to him, another follows, and this time her body shakes with it. she was scared, oh so scared. peering over ran's shoulder, akane hears footsteps, and lifts herself off his chest to make sure the coast was clear before looking back at him one more time. " th- there's never going to be anyone else, ran. we have a lot to talk about, and i know we can't do all that r-right now, but -- " she slips a small hand around a handcuff to take his hand in hers with a squeeze. " i.. i love you haitani ran, and that's all that matters. if this is a path in your life that you're choosing, nothing is going to change the way that i feel about you. it's my path now, too. " the footsteps sound as though they're getting closer and quickly before they're interrupted-- akane reaches for the jade necklace around her neck, undoes the clasp, and settles it around ran's neck instead. " you gave this to me once, because it reminded you of my eyes, right? "

" then, i want you to know, ran. it's because of you that i can now see all the beautiful things in the world that i'd never been able too before, thank you. " with her free hand, akane wipes at red cheeks; makeup smears on the back of her hand, yet all she can do is smile, and laugh even when she hears dim voices outside the door that will inevitably come bearing news they both did not want to hear.