#//she's from new jersey but this doesn't have to be set there if you don't want

[feminaferitas]

@vitaegratis sent: “fucking hell.” //idk I just miss writing with you 👉👈

The party had been broken up by the cops in the middle of an acid trip, but Natalie still had enough sense to know she could go to a neighbor -- one particular neighbor -- for some refuge. Her mom wouldn't really care that her daughter was out all night, so long as the girl wasn't truant at school the next day. And for the most part, Nat always made it to class eventually. She just needed a place to crash the night.

She was a little banged up from crashing through the back woods, pupils wide -- but she still figured Eddie wouldn't be a total dick to her in this state. Plus, he knew his way around different drugs. Though her expression remained dazed, Natalie was relieved when he opened the door.

"Look, man, I just need a place to crash for the night... cops busted the fun and I'm tripping right now."

[astonmartinii]

it's got to be time travel | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x fem footballer!reader

face claim: jessie fleming (i'm a chelsea fan and i'm sad she left :()

they've got all the time in the world for each other, don't ask them where they got that time from though

note: we're also gonna pretend that the women's football and f1 seasons line up here lol

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR | MY SMALL BUSINESS

charles_leclerc

liked by landonorris, lewishamilton and 1,203,784 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: last sunday lunch before we both have to go back to work :(

view all comments

user1: ffs why do their ACTUAL jobs have to get in the way of my regularly scheduled charles x y/n content???

user2: i personally think that the fia should just give charles the championship and y/n the WSL title so they can just chill together :)

maxverstappen1: not on my watch

charles_leclerc: you don't even follow me? get out of my comments

maxverstappen1: you can't just get given the championship because you have attachment issues WE ALL HAVE ATTACHMENT ISSUES

charles_leclerc: me i get, but y/n doesn't deserve to win?

maxverstappen1: i never said that. y/n is girlboss slay queen

yourusername: too right i am

charles_leclerc: why are you peace and love with her and not me?

maxverstappen1: she's cool, you aren't

yourusername: can't disagree with that babe soz

user3: i have a feeling that these spats might get worse the longer charles is separated from y/n

user4: waa waa we're all sad their being separated but all i'm thinking is UP THE CHELS

user5: i need the treble right fucking now, a charles championship would be a bonus i guess

lewishamilton: will i get a formal introduction to y/n before we're teammates?

yourusername: YES, YES YOU WILL

charles_leclerc: i guess that answers that

lewishamilton: don't hate the player, hate the game

yourusername: i better see your ass at kingsmeadow at some point, it's fun, even if others think they're too good for it

lewishamilton: i'll be there 🫡

user7: can 2025 come quick.... PLEASE

user8: lol does this mean that charles has offered to take carlos to a game but he didn't go?

user9: ugh what a bore

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri and 1,402,667 others

tagged: chelseafcw

yourusername: excited for the new season back with the girlypops :))))))

view all comments

user10: treble or nothing I BEG

user11: it's their year for the champions league i've seen the script

alexalbon: no seatbelt ? way to set dangerous examples to your young audience

yourusername: if you're not careful i'm gonna teach my audience how to put their foot up the ass of those annoying her

alexalbon: ugh i hope you lose :P

yourusername: i don't have to hope, i know your ass ain't gonna be in q3

alexalbon: that's TOO far @charles_leclerc does our years of friendship mean nothing?

charles_leclerc: sorry buddy, i am y/n stan first, human being second

yourusername: as he should.

user12: so like... will we see charles in a y/n jersey again in the paddock?

user13: @ferrari stop being so annoying and let him wear what he wants

user14: i think i tasted paradise when they actually let him wear a y/n canada jersey in montreal

charles_leclerc: never seen someone make blue look so good

maxverstappen1: i'm right here?

sebastianvettel: did the homoeroticism of our challenge videos mean nothing?

danielricciardo: do not lie to yourself

yourusername: sorry sluts, you wish you looked this good

charles_leclerc: they'll never be you 🫶🏻

user15: i know the cfcw admin and pr department have a heart attack every time y/n posts

user16: the way she's out here calling three f1 drivers sluts with no repercussions

yourusername: can't be told off for telling the TRUTH

f1

liked by lewishamilton, fernandoalo_oficial and 1,205,489 others

tagged: charles_leclerc & yourusername

f1: couple goals! charles leclerc takes pole in bahrain while his girlfriend, y/n y/ln, scored the winner for chelsea women!

view all comments

user19: okay but i've never been in a relationship and am currently rotting on my couch... so who is the real winner here x

yourusername: my handsome boy is so talented :3

charles_leclerc: not as talented as you, pretty girl

yourusername: nuh uh at least my team is competent

charles_leclerc: errrrr

samkerr20: i think you broke him lol

yourusername: sometimes i think he's more loyal to ferrari than me

charles_leclerc: no!

scuderiaferrari: huh?

charles_leclerc: wait...

yourusername: i see :(

charles_leclerc: i'm LOGGING OUT

user20: charles is so lover boy stuck in his tortured poets department (ferrari formula one team)

user21: the way he's probably yelling down the phone to y/n about how much he loves her right now

samkerr20: he is and it's so loud the whole locker room can hear it

yourusername: but he's so sweet isn't he

niamhcharles17: i guess?

alexalbon: we heard it from his side... barf

yourusername: @lilymunhe are you being starved of romance?

lilymunhe: compared to you and charles YES

alexalbon: ummmm get out of my business y/ln

yourusername: you're ALWAYS in my business buster 🤨

alexalbon: NO! i am just passing down the ancient skill of communication?

yourusername: you're such a gossip girl alex

user21: i know they bicker like siblings, but i know deep down that there have been double dates

charles_leclerc: yes, but y/n and i are much better (no offence lily)

yourusername: did you log back in to restart the argument with alex

charles_leclerc: yes!

alexalbon: boo you whore

yourusername: don't talk to him like that 🤨

samkerr20

liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc and 303,445 others

tagged: yourusername & charles_leclerc

samkerr20: forced to hang out with the straights... they're actually kind of cute

view all comments

user22: you know the couple has to be real cute when even the gays think they're cute

user23: no one can resist the charms of y/n and charles

yourusername: these photos make me think that we are cuter

samkerr20: we are but i didn't want to hurt charles' feelings

charles_leclerc: consider them hurt

samkerr20: boo hoo

yourusername: noooooo i love you xxx

charles_leclerc: hehehehehehehe i love you too xxx

yourusername: i miss you, hurry up and win and come home to me

charles_leclerc: i'm doing my best :(

yourusername: you are the bestest boy

samkerr20: STOP THAT MAKES HIM SOUND LIKE A DOG

oscarpiastri: when will australians stop being victims of this relationship

danielricciardo: this is your first season dealing with them properly, buckle up

oscarpiastri: i'm in a relationship but they make me feel so lonely

maxverstappen1: you get used to it after a while

yourusername: we're right here

landonorris: let us commiserate in peace

charles_leclerc: ??? do you or do you not get free football tickets out of it?

landonorris: yeha but when we go we just have to watch you cry when y/n inevitably wins another trophy

charles_leclerc: I'M PROUD OF HER AND YOU WON'T SHAME ME FOR THAT

user24: chelsea women players must be so confused when these grown men start arguments in the comments of THEIR posts

yourusername

liked by alexalbon, charles_leclerc and 1,529,556 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: weekend off... you know what that means

view all comments

user25: i know there's over 1.5 million likes but how can i gatekeep y/n?

user26: for real

charles_leclerc: the best weekends are with you here

yourusername: i may have a love/hate relationship with this team, but the catering is banging (i may have to move to italy)

chelseafcw: NO MENTIONS OF LEAVING CHELSEA, NOT EVEN A JOKE - NOTHING!

yourusername: okay, sorry guys (the pasta was so good though)

charles_leclerc: not even for me?

chelseafcw: DEFINITELY NOT FOR YOU, WATCH OUT OR WE'LL BLACKLIST YOU FROM KINGSMEADOW

yourusername: okay, let's pedal this back. i'm not leaving london and we all still love charles, right admin?

chelseafcw: .... yes

user27: when you're in a who has attachment issues with y/n y/ln and your competition is the chelseafcw admin and charles leclerc

user28: no point even showing up

maxverstappen1: i for one am glad when y/n is in the paddock because it means i can sneak in without the cameras seeing me

yourusername: i am a woman of the people

charles_leclerc: she's such a star, everyone wants to see her

maxverstappen1: yeah i'll give you that

yourusername: we're also hot

charles_leclerc: don't you dare respond to that one max

maxverstappen1: 🫡🫡🫡

user29: patiently waiting for the hq photos of them 😚

user30: gonna print them out and put them in my heart locket

charles_leclerc

liked by landonorris, yourusername and 1,398,452 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: babe is top of the league (and top scorer)

view all comments

user33: get yourself a guy who flexes your achievements as much as charles does

user34: setting the example tbf

yourusername: my lucky charm, that hat-trick was for you xx

charles_leclerc: would mean more if you didn't score them every week 😭

yourusername: they hate to see a girlboss winning

charles_leclerc: wanna share some wins with me?

yourusername: you're doing great this season babe, not your fault that nasa decided to rebrand to red bull racing

redbullracing: adrian says thanks 😊

charles_leclerc: DON'T SAY IT Y/N

yourusername: you don't even know what i was going to say

charles_leclerc: ....

yourusername: @redbullracing you got a seat???

charles_leclerc: Y/N!!!!!!!!!!

yourusername: whoops

user35: y/n really out here trying to get charles that damn seat

yourusername: i'll stop when the horse team makes a championship worthy car that they don't break halfway through the season...

user36: add ferrari to the group of people who shudder in fear when y/n posts

chelseafcw: fine... we hope you enjoyed (no more italy jokes)

charles_leclerc: i had a great time, i always do when i watch y/n do what she loves (slay)

yourusername: awwwwwwwwww i love you charlie

chelseafcw: okay no need to make admin feel that lonely, damn

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, alexalbon and 1,782,309 others

yourusername: finishing my best ever season with a big trophy haul :) now time to support my trophy husband in his day job

view all comments

user41: she really be out here doing it all

user42: i need her to win the Ballon d'Or Féminin PLEASE IT IS TIME

user43: with charles in attendance, first couples red carpet appearance YES, YES RUN IT TO ME PLEASE

charles_leclerc: unbelievably proud of you, mon amour, constantly inspired by you

yourusername: i love you so much, thank you for being there to support me through it all

charles_leclerc: it's the biggest pleasure in the world

yourusername: i'm all out of winning this season, your turn next weekend?

charles_leclerc: for you, i'll do anything

user44: PLEASE I NEED HIM TO WIN GOOD PLEASE

alexalbon: congrats i guess, you're pretty good

yourusername: thanks, since my boyf is so supportive, it's only natural that you have to try and humble me at every turn

alexalbon: you're more famous than us now, we need to keep you grounded

lilymunhe: don't worry y/n he cried nearly just as much as charles when you won the WSL

yourusername: I KNEW IT

charles_leclerc: i still cried more

alexalbon: it's not a competition bro, we all know you're both helplessly in love

yourusername: that we are

charles_leclerc

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 1,309,855 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: happiest when i'm with you (and whoever has decided to tag along), oh and winning a race helps as well i guess

view all comments

user45: CHARLES WIN I REPEAT A CHARLES WIN WE WON?

user46: the way y/n went just as mental as us, her and zecira jumping around the garage (and starting the champagne shower after the podium)

user47: really proving that y/n and charles really are each other's biggest fans

user48: thank the lord the WSL season finished when it did so y/n could be there for this win

user49: y/n would've ran to austria to be there i'm sure

yourusername: you know it 🫡

maxverstappen1: had to let you win so you could look cool in front of your infinitely cooler girlfriend

charles_leclerc: not even gonna bite, i'm too happy to care

yourusername: i'll bite - HIS TALENTED BEHIND SCHOOLED YOUR ASS

maxverstappen1: but i called you cool?

yourusername: i'll accept the compliment now, i had to defend charles' honour first

charles_leclerc: heheheehe i'm blushing

maxverstappen1: gross

user50: i need y/n to permanently be in the ferrari garage, they were on it today (i think out of fear)

landonorris: damn i thought i thirdwheeling lestappen was bad, but y/n and charles is a different beast

yourusername: we're both athletes, need to savour the time we have together when we can

charles_leclerc: sorry not sorry you'll get it when you're in love

landonorris: .... i guess i'll die then

fin.

note: i hope you enjoyed !!!! one last WIP to go and good lord the writers block is kicking my ass. but f1 being back should help!!! + f1 academy, much enjoyed it so far.

[bengals-barnesbabe]

The Girl Behind the Camera

Pair: Joe Burrow x Videographer!Reader

Descr: When The Bengals hire a new social media manager, people start to notice a certain QB coming out of his shell.

TW: mentions of sex, nudity, gossip, racism, classism, invasion of privacy, protective boyfriend!Joe.

Main Masterlist

WC: 2083

*. * ·┊┊┊┊ ➶ ❁۪ ｡˚ ✧

"Which of your teammates would you rather be stranded on a deserted island with for 72 hours?"

Was the question being asked on the way out from practice. From behind the black and white jerseys Joe could hear the bouts of laughter from each answer. Most of his more outgoing teammates thoroughly enjoyed walking up to the woman with the camera on a day to day basis, while others like him avoided making simple eye contact with her.

But today's Friday and Fridays are very special on this practice field. Not only do they have shorter practices but the recurring sports journalist major with a sometimes too sunny attitude, is replaced with the new silk press and brown glossy lips-wearing photographer that could stop him in the middle of the busiest highways just with her smile.

"Hey 9!" You beam as he approaches you with rosy cheeks. "Wanna hear today's question?"

I'd listen to anything coming from those pretty lips.

"Sure, whatcha got for me?" His eyes are solely focused on the way your glittery nails push back your dark brown locks and the movement of your lips rather than the content flowing from them.

He stands there motionless for a minute contemplating his answer, when in reality he just wanted to see how long you'd hold his gaze before squirming. 45 seconds is the current record.

"Joey, come on.."

25 seconds, he must look especially good today.

He smirks as your pout forms, or maybe he just likes giving you more work to do in the editing room (aka tonight at his place).

"Are you going to answer or should I shut off the camera?" A chuckle arises from his belly as you attempt to make an authoritarian stance with a smooth caramel leg jutted out and your glistening arms crossed over your chest.

Rolling your eyes at him, you start to ignore him and play around with the camera, before his voice interrupts you. "Alright, I'll answer. Only for you though."

He does his best to revert back to factory settings (aka grump mode as you like to call it) when you give him the go-ahead. "I guess, I'd take Ja'Marr. Hopefully, he doesn't get sick of me in 3 days."

You let out a cute giggle at his response recapturing his gaze from above the camera. He'd make it his life goal to keep that sound pouring from your plump lips.

So he adds to his answer. "Or I'd take my girlfriend, she loves beaches you know. She's kind of the yin to my yang." He smirks nodding to your necklace.

Flustered you try to cover your smile, before asking him a follow-up question. "Would you get on a boat to rescue her, if she somehow got trapped out at sea?"

"Of course, I would," he chuckles. "But then I'd ask where she found a boat in the first place and why she got in it when she doesn't like them either."

ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

"Maybe she was just trying to find food for her quarterback boyfriend with a bottomless pit as a stomach." His entire body shakes with laughter as you smile accomplishedly behind the lens.

"That's cute, you know her or something?" You shrug, as he straightens up due to another presence approaching.

"Don't stop on my accord, you did great today J. And you Miss Thing, I can't wait to see the shots you got of my team out there." Coach Taylor praises walking past you, causing your faces to heat up.

"God, I don't know how much of this I can use." Your video voice sombers.

You watch as the orange jersey fills the frame until not even the 9 is visible. "Sounds like you have your work cut out for you. Kind of like how..." His low and teasing voice barely gets picked up on the audio. A shiver runs down your spine because you remember exactly what he said before walking out of view.

"Kind of like how you will when you get home tonight."

'And boy was he right, but not about the editing.' You think gawking at his body as he walks out of the bathroom, water dripping from his hair and shoulders down his nice pecs and delectable abs. His strong arms and toned abdomen are tinted red due to the steamy shower that's releasing vapor into the room.

"Still editing I see?" He asks teasingly as he ruffle-dries his hair with a microfiber towel. You painstakingly nod but push the laptop down and off your lap.

"It can wait." You say as your gaze drops down to the blonde happy trail that disappears underneath the towel secured around his waist. "It's not due til noon anyway."

"Good, I've been thinking about you laid out on my bed for me since we got home." A smirk curves up his lips when he notices your eyes fixated on the bulge of the fabric.

"Lucky me." Then the towel drops. Lucky me indeed.

✧ ⁺ . ° ➶ ｡˚ ✧

Eventually, the video does get edited and uploaded to social media like it's supposed to and your bosses thoroughly enjoy the impressions it brings to the organization.

You tried your best to edit out all of the parts that gave too much about your relationship away without completely taking Joe out of the video. You thought it did a great job, the final cut showed a very professional interaction between the two of you. Everyone was happy.

Until you started trending on Twitter almost 3 days later.

Something you didn't realize before becoming the Bengals' backup photographer/videographer and official social media manager was that your boyfriend rarely if ever participated in the post-practice videos. Anna, their main journalist, did mention that Joe liked to hide from cameras at practice, but you thought she was talking about paparazzi and overzealous fans. It wasn't until you went through every post-practice TikTok video that you realized that she was not kidding at all.

Currently, you are sitting wide-eyed on the couch watching a well-known YouTube gossip talk about your video and your relationship. She hadn't said the word dating yet, but by her analysis of the short clips- she was not very far from finding out.

"I think the key here is the woman behind the camera. Their conversation was short, but you could tell she could get him to say anything. And the way it's cut, oh my god. Anyone could tell that there was much more to this chat than we saw. Sadly, I couldn't find her socials, so the woman behind the camera wins this time."

You paused the video as soon as Joe's footsteps became apparent as he walked toward the area where you were sitting. "Hi, baby!" You cringe at the perky tone of your voice.

"Hi?" He says plopping down next to you and kissing your head. The lingering embarrassment makes your spine stiffen. Joe raises a brow in confusion. "Y/n, what's wrong?"

You huff and pout sinking into the couch cushions. "I kinda fucked up."

"How so?" He asks pulling your hands into his.

"Have you watched my video?" You whisper as if saying it aloud will anger the universe.

"No, but I heard it was doing well. Do you want me to pull it up?" You shake your head immediately. "What's wrong with the video?"

"You're in it." You mumble laying your head on his chest.

"Huh?"

"You hate attention, you hate cameras, and you literally hide from them when we're in public! And I put you in my video!" One of his hands lets go of yours and begins to stroke the back of your head.

"Baby, I put myself in-

"No, I forced you to do the one thing you've always set a boundary on. I'm a shitty girlfriend, I should've just ended it before you walked by or just kept the whole clip for myself."

"Y/n, listen."

"Joey I'm so sorry, everyone is talking about how you and 'the girl behind the camera' are probably a thing. They're probably digging up pictures of us in public at the moment and there's nothing I can do to stop it. All of your business is going to be aired out-

"I know-

"Reporters are going to start showing up to your practices, and paparazzi will be following us. It's a disaster- wait what did you say?" You sniffle pulling your head up to face him. And he's smiling?

"I know and I don't care. All I care about is that the most important woman in my life is safe and happy. That's you mamas." He says softly, wiping away a stray tear from your cheek.

"Wait but you've worked so hard to keep your private life- private and I should've respected that."

He shakes his head. "I wanted to be in that video because you were the one behind the camera. Even if we weren't dating, I would have been in that video and people would've had something to say about it. I did it because you make me happy and I love watching you work. In fact.." He takes his phone out and queues a video onto the TV screen.

"Joe, what is this?" You ask as he comes up in today's outfit looking like it was filmed when he left for work this morning.

"Just watch." He grins.

*In the video he’s seen smiling and taking pictures with fans before his morning meeting.

“Hey Joey B! Over here!” A young boy jumps up trying to get his attention.

Your boyfriend chuckles and shuffles over to the kid to sign his helmet. “Hi, how you doing bud?”

“I’m great! My sister’s sad that you have a girlfriend now though.” The kid vibrates with energy and excitement, very different than his sister who’s glaring at him from the side.

Joe just laughs, gives the kid a fist bump, and moves on to another fan.*

“Joe, you didn’t say anything. What is this supposed to prove?” You huff in confusion.

“I know, that’s just my favorite part. You just need to see what happens next.” He assured pushing your focus back to the TV screen.

*As Joe starts to wave bye to the crowd a swarm of paparazzi and journalists emerge.*

You immediately start to frown because this is exactly what he's been trying to avoid.

*The people behind the giant cameras ask him all kinds of outlandish questions, all of which he ignores until a question about you pops up.

“Joe, are you hiding your girlfriend because you’re ashamed of her career and her race?” He stops right outside the door to the facility and spots the woman who asked the question.

“What did you say?” His eyes squint and brows furrow in the same way as they do when people question his football fatality.

“Last night, the Bengals website updated their faculty and staff page. The only new social media manager was a black woman named Y/n. What other reason could you be hiding your relationship for?” She asks confidently sticking her camera in his space.

“Do you hear how fucking dumb you sound?” He says so calmly making all the eyes around him widen. Including yours as you watch the incredulous look on his face turn to a scowl.

“I’m hiding her from idiots like you guys who follow me around with cameras chasing the wrong narratives. Do you really think I want to hide the love of my life from the world? Cause I don’t, but I would rather us have a good relationship that’s private rather than a shitty one controlled by the media. Literally, look at what happened after one lighthearted joke got taken out of context! And to even comment that her race was an issue? What fucking year do you live in? I would love that woman no matter what she did or how she looked. And it shouldn't matter. All of you are ridiculous. Have a great day.” Then walked into the facility slamming the door behind him.*

When he looks back over at you, silent tears are falling from your eyes. “Shit was it too much.” He says panicked.

You shake your head with a chuckle then lean up to press a chaste kiss on his lips. “No, it was perfect. I love you so much, Joseph.”

He returns the sweet kiss and holds you close. “I love you more than anything Y/n. I’d do anything for you, never forget that.”

“I won’t.”

~●○°●○°●○~

a/n: sorta kinda inspired by @slimshiesty, if you know you know and you absolutely should know.

[woso-dreamzzz]

Rival V

Hardersson x Teen!Reader

Part of The Big Adventures Universe

Summary: Gooner to Gunner

Arsenal coming calling for you a few weeks after your seventeenth birthday. You've been playing professionally for Linköping since you were fifteen, following the under-seventeen Euros, as their second choice goalkeeper.

You always knew, much like your mothers, that you didn't want to stay in Sweden your whole career. It's off the back of completing your final matches as the Under-seventeen team's captain in a round of friendlies that you get the email.

You're mucking around on your laptop, aimlessly typing something out for one of your classes when you switch tabs to your Momma's emails.

It had been terribly easy to crack the password (your and Morsa's birthdays put together) and you made sure that she didn't know you were logged in. It's not like you had been planning anything malicious but it was Momma's email that was connected to the Amazon account and you were just too impatient to wait to see what surprise she had ordered to celebrate your tenure as captain for the youth team.

You had been tracking the package for days now and just so happened to spy this new email at the top of the list.

You frown. It's got your name on it. You're not eighteen yet so all of your professional stuff comes through either Momma and Morsa and-yes, Morsa was cc'ed into the email too.

You click on it. There's nothing wrong with that, you think to yourself, because it's about you anyway. There's no harm in finding out what it was a bit early.

Your eyes skim through the email, your heart stuttering in your chest.

It was a contract proposal.

The same position, second goalkeeper, but for a hell of a lot more money.

At Arsenal.

You glance behind you.

Everywhere you've ever moved, your framed Leah Williamson shirt ends up over your bed.

Always.

Even when you gained so many more world class player's jerseys (Tia Tana, Alexia, Keira Walsh, just to name a few), Leah's one always ended up over your bed.

Your door swings open and your hurriedly close the tab, writing more nonsense for your schoolwork.

"Morsa!" You exclaim," Knock!"

Morsa laughs. "Sorry, princesse, I don't realise I was raising such a moody teenager."

"I could have been naked," You scoff.

"This early? No chance. I just came up here to say that dinner's ready."

"Dinners ready or it's nearly ready and you're using me to set the table?" You're wise to Morsa's tricks.

"We ordered in. Dinner is actually ready."

By the time that you've washed your hands and made it downstairs, Momma and Morsa have made space for you to slot between them.

You try to keep quiet for a little bit but the email you've just read makes you antsy and anxious.

"So..." You say finally as the show you're watching finishes and your Morsa starts flicking through the channels to find something new. "How was work?"

Momma frowns at you suspiciously. "Good. Why?"

You try to be casual. "No reason. So...no funny email chains? Nothing interesting?"

Momma turns to look at you fully. "What's going on with you? What have you heard?"

You shrug. "Me? Nothing."

She watches you with narrowed eyes. "Magda, what have you told her?"

"Me?" Morsa's got a slice of pizza hanging from her mouth. "Why do you think I've told her something?"

"She's acting suspicious. Just like you do when you know something you shouldn't."

"I haven't told her anything. I've barely seen her all day. She came straight home from training and shacked up in her room to do schoolwork."

Momma is still staring at you as she fishes her phone out of her pocket and flicks through her emails. Like you, it doesn't take her long to find it.

She sighs - long and drawn out and she rubs her temple with her fingers. "I don't know how you found out about this before me but-"

"Please! Please! Please! Please, Momma!" You're kneeling on the ground in front of her, hands clasped together. "I'm nearly out of the contract with Linköping. Please! It'd be such a good opportunity!"

"Whoa, whoa," Morsa says quickly," Slow down. What's going on? Pernille, huh?"

Momma sighs again, turning her phone over to Morsa. "Arsenal is interested in her."

Morsa skims through the email, her eye twitching slightly. She looks at you and says," No. If you want to go to England, we can see if Chelsea will take you."

You sigh just like Momma did. "Morsa, please! I don't even like Not-Wolfsburg! I'll play so good at Arsenal, I promise!"

"First of all," Morsa says," You're seventeen. You have got to stop calling Chelsea Not-Wolfsburg. Second of all, you're seventeen. In what world is moving to England a good idea at the moment?"

"For football!" You exclaim, standing on your feet and grabbing at her hands. You know Momma will support you in anything you want to do, including this. So it's just Morsa (who would probably prefer it if you joined fucking Spurs than Arsenal) that you have to convince. "Morsa, please! I...I'll give it my all! Please! Arsenal's the goal!"

"I thought Wolfsburg was the goal."

"It is!" You say," But that's the long term goal! Wolfsburg will be sure to watch me if I play in the WSL!"

"Wolfsburg was watching your Momma when she was still at Linköping," Morsa points out," Why can't you stay at Linköping?"

"Morsa!" You're getting a bit annoyed now. "Wolfsburg the club I want to retire at! Arsenal for Leah and Aunt Lina and Aunt Stina. Barcelona or Lyon, maybe, for Tia Tana or Daan. And then Wolfsburg!"

That causes a small smile to tug at Morsa's lips. "No Bayern on your list?"

"It's in the maybe category like Barca and Lyon! Don't change the subject! Who knows when an opportunity like this will come up again? The national teams will be sure to watch me properly too, if I'm playing in England!"

Momma laughs. "Magda," She says," Just put her out of her misery, already."

You look between them. "Huh?"

Morsa stands up, drawing you up into a hug. "Of course you can sign for Arsenal, princesse."

"Really?"

"Yes."

●～●～●～●～

You end up back in London for the first time in years within the month.

A picture goes up on social media on the day you come in to officially sign. You shake hands with the manager and pose for the photo, holding onto your new jersey.

It's probably your most prized possession now with your favourite number on the back - you're challenging yourself to clinch the first keeper position within two years.

At Linköping, your last name was on your shirt.

At Arsenal, it's your first name.

Abruptly, you're brought back to a blurry memory of sitting on the floor of your house before the move to Bayern, when you ran your fingers over Alexia's name, when your Momma explained that some of the best had only their first names on their jerseys.

"There she is."

You look up and then back down bashfully.

Leah Williamson walks up to you. She's older now, than when you first met her all those years ago. She's retired from football - just like your mothers - but she still works in the sector, one of the coaches for the women's team.

"Hi."

"You look good in an Arsenal shirt," She says," Even better now that it's not mine."

You don't know why you say it but you do," I still have the first shirt you gave me. Momma and Morsa got it framed for me."

She grins at you, clapping you on the back. "I had you pegged for a Gunner the moment you wandered into our dressing room." She breathes in deeply. "Let me just take a moment. This is a nice full circle moment for me."

You laugh. "Me too."

[caroldantops]

like a stray to the arms that were open

ship: dark!wanda maximoff x fem!reader; dark(ish)!valkyrie x fem!reader

summary/request:  wanda needs a safe place for her and her pet to stay. valkyrie comes up with a compromise. for @maximotts

word count: 1.9k

warnings: smut (18+), dom!wanda, dom!valkyrie, sub!reader, dark themes (kidnapping, brainwashing), very light pet play (just the term pet and collaring), free use, fingering, overstimulation

masterlist | ao3 link

"Enter." 

Valkyrie absentmindedly sharpens her dagger, not caring about the mess that accumulates on her desk. She watches the cloaked figure move into the room carefully, each step echoing across the tiles. You follow close behind, a shimmering red trail of light linking your bound wrists and the collar around your neck to your owner. You're dressed in a very plain, but delicate light pink silk garment that hits you just at mid-thigh. The two of you together are a stark contrast, but it's rather fitting, Valkyrie thinks. 

"Thank you for meeting with me, your majesty."

"Save your formalities, Wanda," Valkyrie rests her dagger on the table and kicks up her feet, resting her hands folded together on her abdomen. "Or should I say, Scarlet Witch?" 

"Well, since we're dropping the formalities, Wanda is just fine." The king gestures to the seats in front of her desk. Wanda takes one of them, and you remain standing, frozen as you wait for permission. Valkyrie watches you carefully, your gaze set hard on the handcrafted tiles beneath your bare feet. She bets you're freezing in the Nordic air, her raging fireplace at the back of her office doing little to soothe your bare skin. 

But you don't complain. You don't even shiver. 

You've been told to keep quiet and still and wait for your orders, so you do. 

Valkyrie can imagine a laundry list of ways she'd like to test that obedience. 

"Kneel," Wanda finally commands. You drop to the floor, kneeling silently beside her. She rewards you with a gentle stroke along the back of your neck, silent code for good girl. 

"So, what brings you to my neck of the woods, witchy?" 

You can feel Wanda's energy radiating off of her, your body and mind deeply in tune with your own by this point, and you can tell she doesn't appreciate the nickname. But, she's here to ask a favor, so she does not take the time to argue about it. 

"I've come to ask if you would be able to provide a safe place to stay. I have been...forced to find somewhere where I can keep a low profile." 

"This about the whole New Jersey situation?" Valkyrie raises an eyebrow. She knows little about Wanda, mainly from Thor, but a certain sorcerer won't stop contacting her with updates on "multiversal threats" as if she has time to give a shit about that. 

"Partially. And some events after that." You see Wanda tap her Darkhold stained fingers against her thigh. A few moments of silence pass as Valkyrie thinks. You dare dart your eyes upwards to see her for briefly, her eyebrows furrowed deep in contemplation. 

"Well, y'see you're putting me in a bit of a dicey situation," Valkyrie sighs dramatically, like she's not plagued by the thought, but rather ready to bargain. "How am I gonna be sure that you're not gonna hold New Asgard hostage?"

"I have no intentions of doing that, Valkyrie," Wanda answers firmly. "What I had there I no longer have. There's no reason to repeat it." 

"Hm. I believe you, y'know, I do. But if word gets out around town that I'm helping harbor a witch on the run, my people might not be very fond of that." The magic chain attached to your collar shifts, tugging slightly as the tension in Wanda's body grows. You squeak at the pressure, and she shoots you a look. Valkyrie also looks back down at you. "Y'know, you haven't properly introduced me to this one." 

"This is my pet," Wanda answers, resting a hand on your head. You take this as cue to meet Valkyrie’s intense gaze over the edge of her intricately carved desk. She leans over out of her chair to see you better, and you shrink a bit under the attention. “In my…cross universe excursions, I found her all alone, just waiting for someone to come along and take care of her. So, I did.”

You lean into Wanda’s touch as she pets you. She wasn’t lying. At least, as far as you remember. She’s flushed out the hard parts, the parts that she didn’t want your sweet little mind plagued with. You didn’t need to remember that you had another Wanda at one point, one who left you for a variant of the man that Wanda thought she wanted back so desperately. 

Lost and alone, desperate for your Wanda to come back. She never would, your new Wanda had told you when she yanked you from your universe, bringing you back to a secluded house in a withering forest. She terrified you, you had no idea what it was that she wanted with you - whenever you asked, all she replied was, “You.” 

Wanda turned you into her prized pet, got rid of all those early memories that were holding you back from being as compliant and obedient as she needed. Every waking moment of your current existence was dedicated to pleasing her. And hers was now dedicated to keeping you safe. 

“Interesting,” Valkyrie hums, sizing you and Wanda up. You can see the gears turning in her head, and you know that there’s no doubt that Wanda is peeking into the King’s mind. But, she doesn’t say anything, just waits for her to bring the thoughts up, which of course, Valkyrie does. “I think that I can manage to house you without raising any suspicions, witch. But you’ve got to sweeten the pot for me.” 

“Just say what you want already,” Wanda says, face stoic. 

“I let you live here, and you - ” Valkyrie points teasingly at Wanda. “ - let me play with your little pet here. Whenever I want.”

 You can’t help but dart your eyes up to your owner. Wanda shows no signs of emotion on her face, not allowing you or Valkyrie to get any sense of where her head is at. Your body shivers at the idea of Valkyrie toying with you. Wanda doesn’t miss it, tugging the magic leash and making you squeak again. 

“I scratch your back, you scratch mine, yeah?” Valkyrie chuckles as Wanda continues to sit in silence. 

“Angel,” Wanda speaks to you. You perk up at her acknowledgement. “You would do anything I asked of you, right? Because you’re my good girl?” 

“Yes, mommy,” you answer with no hesitation. 

Wanda nods, like she knew the answer anyway. Or rather, would’ve decided despite your response. She turns back to Valkyrie. 

“Deal. As long as I’m present.” 

“Course, wouldn’t want me to snatch her away from ya,” Valkyrie grins, offering her hand across the table as if she’s just secured a fancy business deal. Wanda can’t help but roll her eyes as she shakes it. “Can’t wait to break her in. Actually, why even wait?” 

“You’re cashing in already?” 

“I did say whenever I want, didn’t I?” 

“You did,” Wanda breaks the magic tethering you to her. You look up for her guidance of what you’re supposed to do, but you don’t have to sit wondering long. Valkyrie comes around the table and lifts you off the ground with no effort at all, tugging you to bend over the side of the table. 

“C’mon, cupcake, gotta give your mommy a nice view huh?” Valkyrie whispers in your ear as she runs her hands up your bare thighs. She leans away from you to push your slip up over your ass and is pleased to see you’re completely bare underneath. “Wanda trying to freeze you in this weather, love? Don’t worry, I’ll warm you up in no time.”

You’re putty in her hands as she kisses up your spine, leaving small bites along the way that make you squirm against her hold. You feel her laugh against your skin as you wiggle, murmuring to herself how pretty you’re gonna look all bruised up. 

“You like that, baby? You like my mouth on you?” 

Your eyes dart to Wanda yet again. “Answer her, sweetheart. You can speak if she addresses you.” 

“Yes…” You’re unsure of how to address the woman kneeling down so she’s face level with your already dripping cunt, and her breath against you makes it even harder to think. 

“Hm, I think if you have a mommy already, only seems natural you call me daddy, hm?” Valkyrie licks a long stripe through your folds. You moan and buck against her face, her nose nudging your clit as you do. “Or, my king will also do.” 

“Hungry for power much?” Wanda raises an eyebrow. She’s leaned back casually in the plush chair, watching Valkyrie work her pet as if she’s been doing this for years. 

“Like you can talk,” Valkyrie shoots back before diving back into your waiting pussy. “Fuck, she’s delicious.” 

“She is, isn’t she?” Wanda’s voice betrays her, that little arousal filled rasp that you’re so used to coming out as she shifts in her seat. 

“Mm, I know why you wanted to keep her so bad.” 

You feel Valkyrie stroke her fingers along your folds as she takes a break licking you to mark up your thighs. Her rough fingertips rub your clit and dip into your hole teasingly. You can’t help pushing back against her hand, which prompts her to deliver a swift smack to your core. Sharp heat pulses through your cunt as she does, and you cry out for Wanda automatically. 

“Behave, baby,” Wanda responds to your sob. 

“Need more,” you whine. 

“Greedy little thing, are we?” Valkyrie’s fingers return to lazily teasing your clit, now throbbing and swollen. “I’m being so nice to you, and you complain about needing more?” 

“No, no, ‘m sorry,” you cry. “I’ll be good.” 

“Mm, bet you will. Bet your mommy keeps you in line, huh?” Valkyrie rewards your submission with three fingers in your aching cunt. You arch against her, pushing your hips back to meet her deep thrusts. “That’s right, baby, fuck yourself on my fingers. Feels so good, doesn’t it? God, if I’d known I would have a perfect pet bent over my desk today I would’ve brought my strap to work.” 

“She’d love that,” Wanda says. “Loves being filled up so much. Loves being bred too.” 

“Oh yeah?” Valkyrie grins and stands up, fingers never slowing their thrusts as she presses herself against your back. She leans down beside your ear and whispers, “You like being filled up with cum, huh baby? Want me to stuff that tight little pussy full?” 

“Y-yes, please.” 

“Course you do, ‘cuz you’re nothing but a desperate slut. Only desperate sluts let strangers fuck them in front of their mommies.” You can barely respond with more than a whine, but that doesn’t matter to Valkyrie. She feels you clenching around her fingers, and curls them just right against your sensitive spot, ripping a raspy moan from your throat. “There you are baby, cum for me. Show your mommy how good I fuck you.” 

You can feel a surge of wetness gush past Valkyrie’s fingers as she keeps fucking you through your orgasm, uncaring as you go completely limp on her desk. You expect her to pull out soon, but instead you feel another finger pushing inside of your spent hole. Dizzy with pleasure, you hardly notice as your head is lifted and placed in Wanda’s lap. She strokes your hair and shushes your whines as Valkyrie continues pounding into you, stretching you out more than Wanda ever has. 

“Be a good girl and let Valkyrie play with you, baby. She’s gonna take her fill no matter how tired you are, might as well get used to it now.” 

[gritsandbrits]

In light of recent news over the passing of voice actress Arleen Sorkin, I wish to reflect on the impact of Harley Quinn on my life.

When I was a kid I grew with Harley. From getting fired from a tv show for giving questionable advice, as her backstory in the 2004 cartoon The Batman, to falling in mad love with her own patient as is the origin story in the 92 animated and subsequent media, Harley has such a big role in Batman lore I don't remember a single time where she wasn't involved. Sometimes I wonder what batman mythos was like before her inclusion.

The first thing that drew me to Harley was her design. Red and black the colors of danger which she was. But there was an added playfulness, that she genuinely enjoyed being herself. She was also VERY hilarious and at times out of pocket. Child Me was amazed. Did I want to be her? Not necessarily. But she did look like someone I'd hang out with.

The meta origin of Harley is just as fascinating. The creators of BTAS saw a performance of Arleen in a clown costume. From there inspiration leapt off the pages onto the big screen. Unlike most of the cast Harley didn't originate from the comics. She was created exclusively for the show, an OC if you will. OCs tend to have a mixed reputation. But Harley's concept and execution was so perfect, she almost feels like she could've been a real character in the comics.

And real she became!

Introduced as a psychiatrist, after receiving Joker as a patient, Dr. Harleen Quinzel begins to fall in love with him; and down a path to iconoclastic doom. Her love for Joker is obsessive, hilarious shallow, horrible but also downright entertaining to watch. I enjoyed every moment she was on screen: I still quote "rev up your Harley" to this day! I see her despair, her goofy outlook and morbid ruthlessness. I wanted her to get comeuppance but at the same time I can't help but feel sorry for her.

Joker abuses her, ignores her, and only complements her when she does something good for him. While the makes how awful their relationship clear, there are a good amount of fans who sees the pair as a glamorous whirlwind romance a la Sonny and Brenda or Jane and Mr Rochester. While such fantasies may seem morbid I don't blame them. No matter how horrible Harley is there is a tiny unavoidable spot that aches for her to win. Or at least see Joker for the monster he really is. While Harley is often held accountable for her actions her arc shows that no one deserves to be abused.

Arleen's performance played a major role in brining Harley to life. She nailed her weaknesses and strengths with such a sincere note that elicits pity, humor and shock at the same time. And of course that ear candy of the New Jersey accent that set the standard for future VAs. Whenever I look at a picture of Harley I hear Arleen. Not to say the other VAs aren't bad, but Arleen's performance is that iconic I can't help but think of her!

Over the years Harley grew apart from Clown Prince of Crime. She got her own spinoff comics, made appearances in other DC media. She even gotten her own tv show which sees the DC universe through her eyes. Harley has marginally healthier romances, primarily Poison Ivy (this isn't to say that pairing doesn't have it's share of toxic moments). The Harlivy ship is a fan favorite but even without shipping and the wars, Harley still shines bright as the Bat Signal.

In a way Harley's descent and eventual rise back to normalcy reminds me of my own struggles. I wasn't a happy child growing up, I've made a lot of mistakes and bad choices. To see a person like Harley work to take back control of her life, makes me feel a bit better for my own prospects. Of course I wouldn't torture a kid to near insanity or blow up a whole city but I can at least put my energy towards something constructive. Harley shows people like me thay we can be more than just screwups if we try.

Of course I can't forget Harley's design. The red&black suit is an icon by itself and inspires similar designs in and outside comics. I could talk all day about how cool her design is from a show and historical perspective but that would take me all day. While I prefer her classic palette, her recent blue and pinks aren't bad either and show just how far she's come out of Joker's shadow. It's even to the point where when, I see something black and red and white I have to point it out and say "Harley would love that outfit!"

Nowadays I complain about the oversaturation of Harley quinn (seriously what was DC thinking taking a team started by a disabled character to reclaim her agency) and overshadowing other cool DC villains. But I would be lying of I say she didn't leave an impact. And it's all thanks to Arleen Sorkin for breathing life into a character that proves you don't need to be be from "the comics" to be considered cool.

Thank you Arleen! May her memory be a blessing - Grits.

[all-pacas]

stupid chase 13 self indulgent sibling shit:

13 is the first one to jokingly refer to chase as her brother. except she calls him her younger brother. chase is like super touched but also hi i'm older than you "sure you are buddy". it's like an ironic "haha we're not actually siblings" joke except secretly no. it's not ironic

13 also has made at least a couple "let's go find dad" jokes about house. she finds it funny and deeply annoying that house and chase don't seem to Get It. it's very obvious to her that chase's deepest dream is for house to pat his shoulder and say "i'm proud my son" but they deny it

at least once 13 has pat chase's shoulder and gone "i'm proud my son"

at least once though. at least one time. "i killed my older brother." "i abandoned my younger sister to rehab." like they know. all their darkest shit. they don't want to be siblings because they did terrible things to their families. but it's why they are

they text. she's constantly sending him photos from her greek island. the food. the beach. look how hot my girlfriend is. he's in the middle of some gross procedure and gets a text of a beautiful sunset. he sends back a photo of a urine sample or some gross wound

when chase quit at the end of s8 and 13 swung by the next episode to talk with wilson the next day? she was staying with chase while she was in town. they mostly just hung out and watched nature documentaries. when wilson called she was like "oh i just happen to be in new jersey, let's meet up" while wearing sweats and sitting on chase's sofa

chase offers to kill her since house is gone and can't. they come up with a rough timeline and plan and then never discuss it again. until it's time.

at least a few dark "oh, shit, i'm wilson now, aren't i?" jokes from her in return. shit, the new house has a dying best friend too! except with so much less sexual tension!! they joke because they can't bring themselves to be serious about it. she tries to set him up with new friends. big advocate for choreman

idk but i get the feeling they'd watch crappy reality tv together.

they'll sometimes just have the darkest and most serious 1 am conversations about morality and souls and what makes a person good or evil, and then the next time they see one another instead of following up it's just "did you see real housewives last night"

chase has never asked 13 for a favor. like he'll ask her little things or let her pay for lunch, but that's about it. meanwhile she can call him at 2 am and he'll show up no questions asked. maybe kind of grumpy about it tho. kind of pisses her off he never lets her return the favor and sort of shut himself off emotionally after s6. but also it's nice? not the "chase's turn towards cynicism" part, but having a standing no questions asked deal.

when he annoys her enough, 13 DOES call chase "robbie" or worse "bobby" but he's never called her by her first name and probably never will

he didn't tell her he got stabbed and she was mad about it because see above. that was a real bobby day

chase knows she doesn't want to fuck around with more huntington's trials but he reads EVERY article and EVERY journal, just in case some miracle comes up. 13 meanwhile follows fake african country politics with a weird intensity to make sure diabla's forces aren't regaining power. they never discuss either thing with one another.

first time 13 visited Chase MD office she forced him to pose in front of the door and took like 15 photos like it was bobby's first day of school. absolutely humiliating

chase goes to 13 and amy's wedding. he's the only one of the PPTH folks who do (taub sends a card. they forgot to tell foreman.)

once 13 was like "we're both hot and single and should do what hot, single people do!" "....have...sex...?" "no, go to a gay bar" they actually go quite a few times

[smytherines]

Fuck it, here's an Agent Mega dissertation

Alright since I have such elaborate headcanon for my beloved precious Owen Carvour, I guess I should do it for Agent Curt Mega too. Sigh.

So, going off of the last big one, if Owen is born in 1928, then I'm gonna say Curt was born in 1930. I'm forever won to the Texan agent mega headcanon, but I think it's safe to say that Mrs. Mega is not from Texas, probably more like New York or I've seen people say New Jersey.

We know nothing about Agent Mega's dad, but I imagine he was kind of a loser and low level con artist and moved his pregnant wife down to Texas to do scams around the bustling oil industry, and then soon after Curt was born a scam collapsed and he ran off. It's either that or an Aladdin 3 situation where he was secretly a spy the whole time and had to go into hiding.

So we've got mama Mega, raising a VERY hyperactive (read: ADHD) little boy on her own, in a place where she doesn't have any support, and he just becomes her entire world. But she has to work a lot, so Curt becomes used to taking care of himself, and most importantly- keeping himself busy so he doesn't lose it.

In this headcanon Curt would only be 15 when WWII ends- not old enough to fight, but definitely old enough to have personally known a lot of kids from his hometown who come home in caskets. I just truly think of WWII as a formative experience for both these guys. For Curt it just feeds into that inferiority complex.

Now anybody who has ADHD knows that you already spend a lot of your life feeling inadequate, feeling self-conscious about not being able to be the person other people want you to be (*especially* if you're queer). You get defensive, especially when criticized. You also get restless.

I headcanon Curt as growing up in Abilene, Texas, mostly because I have a friend who grew up there and I've visited and the vibe is right.

I don't know if anybody has ever seen The Last Picture Show, but its a film set in small town Texas in 1951-1952 (so a little late for our timeline but still) and it's (more or less) about two high school seniors essentially trying to escape this suffocatingly small, dying town before they become doomed to spend their lives trapped there.

That's definitely what I think about Agent Mega too- this gay, ADHD teenage boy climbing the walls of this little town, never being able to fully be himself. But he's got a lot of energy (and more than a little anger) to burn off, so he does sports. It's Texas, so football for sure. Maybe wrestling too. Perhaps wrestling is even where he has his gay come to jesus moment.

And when he isn't doing sports, he's home, alone (mama Mega is working so hard), out back drinking a beer (or two, or three) and teaching himself how to shoot. I think he becomes hyperfixated on becoming an expert marksman, because with all of this shit he cannot control, all the stuff he is supposed to be but isn't, this is one area where it feels like he has the power here.

What starts off as "kid drinking beer to feel cool and rebellious" starts to morph into a lifetime dependence on alcohol. Substance use is a big issue for a lot of ADHDers for the same reason I think it would be for Curt- it calms him down. It eases that constant restlessness in his bones. It softens the edges of other people's criticisms of him. It makes him care a bit less what others think about him.

In a vicious cycle, he drinks to avoid feeling those big feelings (especially as a man, especially as a gay man, especially as a gay man in Texas), but the drinking leads to more criticism, which leads to more drinking to numb the emotional response to that criticism.

But his hyperfixation on learning to shoot pays off. Let's say he becomes a junior state champion trapshooter (did I look up trapshooting competitions from the 1940s? yes I did). He's good, especially when he hits the sweet spot of drinking just enough to calm his ass down but not so much that he's useless. Maybe this is how he comes to the attention of the A.S.S.

And he fully believes that these skills he cultivated, the ability to hit hard and run fast and shoot accurately, his ability to escape when it doesn't feel remotely possible, is why many years later he just kinda rolls his eyes at Owen for insisting that they do things carefully and methodically. Careful didn't get him out of small town Texas. Careful didn't get him the exciting non-stop life he has now, a life where he *almost* gets to be himself a lot of the time.

When Owen "dies," and its Curt's fault, he naturally turns to drinking to numb that pain. But its a lot of pain, so it takes a lot of alcohol to kill it.

I'm sure I could go on, but as always I have rambled a lot here so I'm just gonna leave it.

[puffein]

EPILOGUE | late spring [xii.]

summary: all you have left is hope as you board a trip back to new jersey. pairings: wanda maximoff x fem!reader warnings: none word count: 2411 a/n: its finally the eeeeend!! i hope you enjoyed this series! thank you!!!

series masterlist playlist!

Edinburgh, Scotland

Late-May 2027

The sharp chilling air of the early mornings of Edinburgh rouses your sleepy form from its slumbers. The bright sun waking its warm light to cascade through the open gaps of the windows made you forget the fading breezy air you felt a minute ago. Blinking through the sudden illuminating light of the sun, you felt the moving car come to a complete stop. 

Your eyes watch the forwarding move of each stranger, the crowds moving like waves crashing through their destination, their luggage trailing behind them with the sounds of its wheels gliding through the pavement. 

You let out a breath, pushing the door open and taking the heavy suitcase out of the car. You heard a door closing in hard and a set of rush footsteps gliding towards you. 

"Y/N, wait– this.." Kate's staggering timbre of voice made you whip your head towards her, an eyebrow raised at a box she was carrying. "This is for you." Pushing the box forward into your arms, you gave her a confused look. 

"What is this? I told you I do not need a parting gift, I'll be coming back here." you huff.

Her dark hair moves swiftly as her head shakes, "No, no, I know you're coming back. It's, um, remember like years ago you told me about the letters, just the story behind that, um, well, you see– I didn't throw her letters away, I have kept them." 

Your heart thumps, eyes flickering downwards– into the box your arms securely carried, "Kate, why.."

"I don't know, it's just, it felt weird to throw it away. If what you have said is the truth, that you are now okay and breathing then it wouldn't be so hard to read the letters she wrote years ago, right?" 

Your heart wobbles lightly, a smile taking its place right at your place, "Alright, thank you for keeping this."

Kate beams, her body giddy at taking in your gratitude, her hands moving awkwardly as she points at you, "Can I hug you or is that too weird, I mean I know we are busi–" 

You bark out a laugh, wrapping your hands in her wrist to pull her flush into your body, hugging her. "Be good here, Bishop."

"I will!" she chirps, leaning away to give you her wide smile. 

You step back, the box in your arms suddenly heavy, you give Kate one last smile, and as soon as your back faces Kate, your smile falls. You feel the weight of the letters, clutching the box tightly, and your steps wobble as you try to navigate your way through the airport. 

The distinct smell of the airport wraps you in quickly, with each stranger having its own destination, you have come into a thought of what stories each of them carries and then your story came in like a bucket of ice-cold water, splashing into you without a warning. 

You have healed. But the heavy weight of the letters doesn't settle right into your being. You are afraid opening such things would make you backtrack all the progress you have gotten, but then again, healing is not linear, it never will be.

So, when you successfully seated yourself in the window seat of the plane, you took one letter out of the box. Eyeing the familiar handwriting plastered through the piece of paper, your breath catches in sharply as your eyes scan the contents of a piece of paper that holds such delicate words. 

My dear Y/N,

      How are you? I don't know what letter this is, this might be my 10th, I don't know. I just kept on writing and writing, it's the only thing that has brought me comfort. I hope you are doing well, I kept on thinking and thinking if I have made a different choice, a different action, would this be just another alternate version of our life?

     I'm sorry, Y/N. For everything. I know the words I have said don't justify how wrong my actions were. It didn't dawn on me how my simple actions of ignoring you— the problems— my problem, would cause you such great pain. It didn't occur to me and I was being selfish and prideful. I was so blind, I was so scared of what I was feeling for you that I completely broke you. I didn't mean that, I was just scared and I wanted that feeling to vanish, so I did what I thought was the best plan. To be blind and avoid problems.

      Sorry, I'm sorry.

      I hope Edinburgh is treating you well. All I can do is hope, Y/N. I hope Edinburgh is fixing things for you that New Jersey never fixed. You don't need fixing, though, you have always been perfect and I never treasured that. 

      I love you, Y/N. I really do. I was just scared of many things, the thoughts were bad, and it did not help at all. I'm sorry. This doesn't make sense. Everything doesn't make sense. You are the only one grounding me, Y/N. 

      I hope when the time comes, you and I can talk. I will be hoping for that day.

Sincerely,

Wanda

You try to take in whatever words Wanda has written and along the lines of her painful words, your heart thumps lightly. This is a letter she wrote years ago and yet, it perfectly consummates the current emotions you are feeling. And without a single doubting thought, your heart blooms that one word she always wrote. 

You will be hoping.

༻༺

"I can't believe I have to get married for you to finally come home." Natasha greets you with a teasing voice, the ends of her tone are tender and warm as she pulls you in quickly for a tight embrace. 

You let out a surprised squeal at her tight grip, choking out a laugh, "Get off, please. I can't breathe."

"Oh shut up, you missed this." 

You smiled against her body, pulling her closer and taking in the familiar scent of her perfume. Natasha's grin widens when a familiar hand pulls her away gently. 

"Maria, finally nice to meet you." your hand reaches forward for the brunette to take. The woman with a posture so straight gave you a winning smile, pulling you in again into a tight hug.

"What is with you two and tight embraces, oh god, I feel like my lungs are crushed." 

Maria chuckles, "Okay, you are dramatic." 

Natasha swiftly moves beside you, hanging her arms around your shoulder, "So.. tell me about this Gray woman, does she make your life vibrant contrary to how monotone her name is?" 

You let out a nervous laugh, "Nat, I told you we are just friends. I don't think it's a great idea for me to date, I don't want someone to get stuck up with someone like me."

Natasha completely stops, her face is ready to fight the words you just have stated, "Like you? What the hell are you talking about?"

"I just don't think I'm ready for anything," you stated, mouthing a small thank you to Maria as she easily carries your suitcase into the car. "I wanna focus on myself, that's literally it."

Nat leans her body on the car, her arms crossing right at her chest, "And we love you for that. Apologies for my remarks." she declares, the corners of her mouth twitching in a wide grin, proud of what she's hearing from her precious best friend. "Now get in. My fiancée and I will take you for a wild ride."

Your smile widens at her silly words, playfully slapping her arms as you duck down to sit in the back seat. 

You watch them interact with each other, how Maria holds out her hand for Natasha to take, how your best friend can't seem to take her eyes off the brunette, how the brown-haired woman has a smile permanently plastered on her face. As you watch them carefully, something gnaws in the deeper ends of your chest, slowly clawing its way out to let you know that this feeling, the feeling of envy, the feeling of being wanted to be loved, is still present, alive, even after shoving in and crushing it to pieces.

It somehow mends itself and it's now clawing wildly out of your chest, making you look away and focus your sights on the moving scenery laid out of the clear window.

Westview is still the same as when you have left it, the tree-lined streets stand beautifully, the proud sun sets itself onto the blue sky, its rays peeking in between the leaves of the trees, making it look like a scene out of a postcard. 

When the moving scenery finally comes to a stop in a very familiar neighborhood, Natasha quickly hops out of the car to open the door for you, her head tilting as she gives you a cheeky grin, opening her arms as she points at a house.

"What do you think?"

You gape at her, "You brought a house?"

"Me and Maria thought it would be nice to have a house before the wedding and this, woman right here," pulling Maria closer to her, Natasha kisses her cheeks loudly, "She surprised me with a house!" 

Your eyes flicker at the brunette whose face is turning red, "That's great, Maria, wow. You are in deep."

"Oh, shut up. I'm saving you money here from checking in a hotel." Maria's stoned voice made you laugh loudly, shaking your head as you carried your suitcase with ease, letting out a silent huff at how heavy it is. 

Letting yourself breathe in the sight before you, the couple's house screams cozy and homey. You can picture them starting a family with this house, little Natasha running around, Maria's stoic face as she scolds their child, and family pictures scattered all over their house. Their future unfolds before your eyes, and you badly want to see what the future holds for you. 

Will it be just like them?

"Hey, Nat." your hand grips Natasha's wrist, "I wanna see something, is it okay if I meet you two at dinner?" 

"Sure, want me to drive you? Where are you even going?" Natasha quips, arranging your suitcase in the corner of the room she had pointed out. 

You shrug, "I just wanna walk around, it's been so long. I wanna see if something has changed." 

"Call me if you need a drive back home, yeah?" The redhead's smile was contagious, making you give her a grateful smile.

That's how you found yourself walking aimlessly on the sidewalks of the neighborhood, each house feels familiar yet different and strange. It's like watching something out of a picture you have hidden in a box that has a label of 'memories'. 

It doesn't feel real, how you are walking to the very place you have run away from. Nothing would have prepared you for what happened years ago, the final conversation you had with Wanda was eye-opening. It did help you get the closure you wanted but not the ending of what you had hoped. Despite that, you chose yourself, you chose what you needed instead of what you wanted. 

It is hard, to choose between a want and a need but you knew what weighed more. Even if it left you on a lonely journey of self-healing, it was the very first time you have chosen an option that does not revolve around her.

Life shouldn't revolve around her and yet you had caught yourself standing outside the coffeehouse, eyes gazing at the empty building, despite the day not being done, the lights were off, and dust forming inside the clear window pane.

Thank you for your patronage. This coffeehouse has permanently closed.

You blinked away the sudden bitterness pooling at the tip of your tongue, gulping the remaining dejection crawling out of your throat over a closed coffeehouse, you looked away.

Westview did change, if it's the same as what you have left, the coffeehouse would still be here, not an abandoned building sitting with its bleakness seeping out of its clear windows. 

The grimness you have felt for something that seems so insignificant to others made you feel petty, but maybe you were just holding on to something that needed to be let go of. 

Hearing the sudden whipping of the wind and the yapping of a fast little dog running right at your ankle, you look down and instantly crouch to take the dog. 

Brows furrowing, you tried to look for a collar.

"Sparky– I swear to god. I am so sorry—" a hoarse voice comes next.

Your head whips fast. 

"...Y/N," she says breathlessly, her soft tunes sounding like she's running out of breath, catching it.

Wanda. 

It shouldn't bother you.

If you had moved on, it really shouldn't.

But it did. The look on her face sits gorgeously, she gapes at you wild like a fish out of water, trying to make sense if you are real or just another delusion of hers. You blink, your heart is calm but your mind says otherwise.

"You–you're back?" 

You nod. "Yes, I– uhm, just today."

The nibbling of her bottom lip made you turn your gaze away, softly setting down the dog on the ground, the cute pup instantly ran towards the frozen woman. 

"They, they closed months ago." she suddenly declares, watching as your eyes linger on the building. A tense silence ensues, making you clench the quiver of your chest. 

"It was nice to see you, Y/N. I hope you will enjoy your stay here," she mutters, you turn at her, watching as she struggles to clasp the collar back on the puppy, her hands are visibly trembling. 

With one last final glance, she smiles at you, "Sorry again, he always likes to run away from me. Okay, I— I want to—" she struggles.

Then settle for a simple, "Goodbye, Y/N."

You let her walk away, her long chocolate brown hair sits beautifully at her shoulders, then it hits you. A memory replaying right in your eyes, watching her walk away, steps heavy on the pavement. This is so familiar. 

"Wanda!"

The turning of her head was fast, the hope pooling in her green eyes made you waver. 

"What time is it?" you asked. 

Her shoulders fall, looking down at her watch, "Eight-forty-nine," she replies. 

"Would you like a coffee at nine?" 

fin.

general masterlist ◄

—୧ taglist: @esposadejoyhuerta @sokovianbaby @vivs46 @kyaraderuwez

[wandabear]

WISH YOU WERE HERE - WANDA MAXIMOFF X FEMALE READER

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Summary: 17 years ago, a New Jersey high school girls’ soccer team travels to Seattle for a national tournament. While flying over Canada, their plane crashes deep in the wilderness, and the surviving team members are left stranded for nineteen months.

Jules is portrayed by Adelaide Kane. Here.

chapter warnings: smut, angst, death, violence, blood, mentions of abuse. Please, as I said before, this is going to be harder on this and the next chapters. And this one is... doomcoming. I'm responsible for letting you know that, but if you don't like that, you can choose not to read it. ㅤㅤ

I must clarify again, all of them are 18 years old or more. Lots of characters will not survive, that's it. That doesn't mean I hate them or I don't like them.

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CHAPTER ONE CHAPTER TWO CHAPTER THREE CHAPTER FOUR CHAPTER FIVE CHAPTER SIX CHAPTER SEVEN FINALE

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ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤCHAPTER SIX: DOOMCOMING

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BEFORE

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Despite the fact that the deer hunt had brought good vibes to the girls and full bellies for about three days, the days that followed became more difficult.

They thought that perhaps luck would still be on their side, but the arrival of autumn and soon winter made it more and more difficult. Some animals migrated to warmer places, leaving them without hope.

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“Here you go.”

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With a look of desolation, they all looked at their plates, completely fed up and disgusted. It wasn't smiles and fun anymore after weeks of being lost.

Y/N thought that the disgusting stew her mother used to cook right now seemed like an exquisite culinary masterpiece.

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“it's all we got, we're saving some deer meat left for tomorrow.” Wanda explained as she sat down with her friends.

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They all began to eat 'what they had managed to get' and although it didn't seem to make them happy, at least it kept them alive for one more day.

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“Okay, I can't do this anymore.” Carol complained exhausted, setting the plate aside. The blonde caught everyone's attention when she got up to go get something in the corner where she was sleeping and approached them, leaving a huge glass jar with a purple liquid.

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“What is that?” Y/N frowned.

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“It was some berries I was trying to save, but…” Carol sighed and opened the jar.  “I think it might've turned into booze? I don't know about the rest of you, but I could use a drink.”

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They all watched intently, completely interested in the idea of forgetting everything for a while.

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Natasha raised an eyebrow.  “Do we think it's safe?”

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“Do we care?” Jules shrugged, smiling kindly at Carol who just nodded, grateful to have her support. Things between Nat and the brunette hadn't been quite the same, and everyone was starting to notice it.

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“I have a few more.”

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“If we have booze, let's have a party.” Jennifer exclaimed and some of them giggled, even though things weren't too bad, they couldn't afford to lose their spirits.

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“'Cause we've got so much to celebrate.” Sharon rolled her eyes.

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“Do we need a reason?” Y/N got up from her seat and looked out the window. Some clouds in the distance said that the most difficult time would soon begin. In summer, that place was spectacular, but winter? It was a subarctic place, definitely if they didn't find them soon, the girls would start to suffer more or even die. “If they don't find us and we don't forage for food to get us through the winter, we'll be dead. I say we party now.”

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“There's a full moon tomorrow night.” Wanda added maybe a bit excited, which was very cute.  “And it's almost Homecoming.”

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“We packed dresses, right?” Jules said interested in the idea of drinking and forgetting about that damn place for a while.  “For the awards dinner?”

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“There we go.” Y/N put her hands on her hips, willing to make this moment something different and not let her spirits die. “We have dresses, we have booze. We can decorate.”

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“Have a sort of... moon homecoming.” Wanda smiled, looking at Y/N. The connection between her gazes stole her breath.

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“More like a doom homecoming.” Pietro scoffed but Wanda quickly nudged him.

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Jules chuckles softly. “A Doomcoming.”

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Some of them chuckled, but they all seemed to agree.  Even Sharon agreed saying: “Now that's a party idea.”

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“All right. Doomcoming.” Natasha patted her leg and got up, although she wasn't entirely sure, drinking a little and losing your mind for a while wasn't bad at all.  “Tomorrow night, we'll drink rotten berries and celebrate our impending death.”

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They all cheered and whistled, ready to relax for a night at least. Not knowing that in the attic, a man was growling just listening to them.

Grant Ward looked at himself in the mirror, those dark circles and his weeks messy beard made him look more careless.

ㅤㅤ

He didn't even care, what he did care about was seeing that part of his leg was missing. Chopped. Feeling like there was no future, and his future as a real coach was gone when he lost his leg. Seemed to be drifting further and further from reality.

They were all doing their best to make the night the best. Some were in charge of decorating around the cabin, using pieces of cloth, colored stones and flowers, as well as huge dry leaves.

Others used some candles, wild animal bones, and also made torches to make the evening special.

In a few hours, they would be having the fun they deserved.

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“Сука!” The girl muttered between teeth, after winning the battle with her suitcase that seemed to be stuck. Natasha smiled when she finally opened the damn thing, looking through her stuff. All the girls were outside so she took advantage of using the kitchen to be alone.

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Nat exhaled in relief when she saw that fabric, was starting to think she lost it. Her dress, the one Melina bought for the awards ceremony; the redhead finally smiled wistfully.

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“Hey. What are you doing?”

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Jules's voice made her close the suitcase quickly, looking up.

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“Just trying to open this.” Natasha sighed, perhaps a little more exasperated than she expected to show. “What's going on?”

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“I- umh, they are all doing this kind of pairing tonight and…” Jules licked her lips nervously, walking up to face her.  “Will you go with me to the party?”

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But she didn't get an answer, Natasha just sighed deeply.

ㅤㅤ

Why the hell had she thought that maybe there was hope of having something with Nat? Nat never gave her a sign, she just used her to have sex and nothing else, that was the deal between them. But Jules didn't give up, expecting Natasha to realize her feelings. It was useless, that would never happen.

ㅤㅤ

Jules just shook her head, smiling sadly.  “Oh, it's okay. I get it.”

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“You know I don't do that.” Nat raised an eyebrow, then looked down at her suitcase, unable to keep her gaze on it and not feel guilty. “That's not what we had and you know it.”

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“I know. It was really dumb.” The raven haired girl exhaled and then turned to leave the kitchen, trying to hide her teary eyes.

ㅤㅤ

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While in the back of the cabin, hiding from the other girls, Wanda giggled as she felt how Y/N kissed her neck slowly, hands settled on her hips but never crossed the limits.

The tender and sweet kisses began to gain a passion that increased more and more.

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“You ever think about what we'd be doing if we hadn't crashed?” Wanda asked once they separated, making sure no one saw them.

Not because either of them felt embarrassed, not at all, but they wanted to keep something unique together. Something nice between just them.

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“Like, we'd be going to so many parties?” Y/N joked and adjusted her shirt. Maybe if she thought about what would have happened, they would both be in some nice hotel celebrating or even being just 'friends', without daring to get close.

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“Yeah, I-I guess.” Wanda smiled and shrugged, thinking about 'what could have happened' could become painful if you let yourself go. “I don't really think about it.”

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“Well, all I think about is you.” Y/N responded completely in love, leaning in to kiss her lips once more.

ㅤㅤ

“What if this is it, Y/N?” The brunette wrapped her arms around Y/N’s  neck, lost in those eyes that she liked so much.  “Everything we did, uh, everything we didn't do.”

ㅤㅤ

Y/N didn't know what she meant, just decided to listen to her girl's concerns.

ㅤㅤ

“I'm not gonna die a virgin.” Wanda sighed deeply, ready to make that decision, Y/N just widened her eyes.

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“What?” Y/N babbled, of course she understood correctly but that was quite surprising.

ㅤㅤ

“I wanna be with you.” Wanda's cheeks blushed, looking even more adorable. “I wanna be yours. Please.”

ㅤㅤ

It was an important decision, but the truth was that they were completely crazy about each other. Y/N would be lying if she said that she hadn't dreamed and fantasized about it many times, especially when the kisses became more and more passionate and needy.

ㅤㅤ

“Are you sure?” She caressed her girlfriend's cheek gently, and Wanda could only imagine being touched that way under her clothes.

ㅤㅤ

“I’m so sure.” Wanda bit her bottom lip and then smiled excitedly.  “Tonight?”

ㅤㅤ

Smiling as well, Y/N nodded.  “Tonight.”

ㅤㅤ

It was a date.

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“So…” The raven-haired girl began as they both finished decorating an arch with some branches, flowers and strips of cloth. “I have seen that you disappear from time to time. Strangely, Wanda is not here either.”

ㅤㅤ

Jules smiled mischievously.

ㅤㅤ

Y/N looked at her sister a bit nervous but then she just shrugged. “Yeah? Weird…”

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“I’m not stupid, Y/N, but the team haven't noticed yet.” Jules murmured as they finished the arch, making it perfect for everyone to go through. “Are you happy?”

ㅤㅤ

Y/N hesitated to answer but then she understood that she was one of the most important person in her life. How not to tell Jules the truth? “Very happy.”

ㅤㅤ

They both smiled, keeping that secret.

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“That's all I want.” Jules leaned in to place a kiss on her cheek. “I want you to be happy, sweetie. And this place is... I don't know how long we'll be alive, so enjoy.”

ㅤㅤ

“I love you.”

ㅤㅤ

“Love you too, Y/N/N.”

ㅤㅤ

They sat down for a moment to rest and talk about Wanda and her, but after a few minutes, they noticed that Carol was coming towards them. ㅤㅤ

“Hey.” Carol approached slowly, almost as if she was afraid or something. She had something in her hands that quickly hid, looking at Jules. “Can I ask you something? I mean, can we talk?”

ㅤㅤ

They both eyed her curiously, Jules nodded. “Shoot.”

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“Alone.” Carol said so fast and looked at Y/N out of the corner of her eye, who narrowed her eyes without understanding what was happening there.  “Please?”

ㅤㅤ

“Okay, weird, got it. I will go to wash myself in the river and for my clothes.” Y/N got up from her seat and looked at them somewhat confused before leaving. ㅤㅤ

“What is it? Are you okay? Is about the berries?” Jules finally asked, not understanding what was so important or secret that Carol wanted to say.

They were friends, teammates, but they had never been close. Carol was a somewhat crazy, funny, kinda grumpy sometimes, but she was a good teammate.

ㅤㅤ

“Yeah, I guess, in the mood for a burger.” She joked and they shared a laugh. “How are you?”

ㅤㅤ

Jules had an endless number of responses and none of them were too positive, but she just decided to fake a smile.  “I’m okay.”

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“I've noticed you've been a bit down lately.” The blonde pursed her lips and came over to help light the torches.

ㅤㅤ

“This place doesn't make me feel very good, but it's all we've got.” Jules swallowed.  “I'm starting to appreciate it.”

ㅤㅤ

“You're not doing your makeup and looking for what to wear like the girls over there.”

ㅤㅤ

Watching her out of the corner of her eye, Carol noticed that the brunette lowered her gaze, something happened. Of course. “I was thinking… you know…”

ㅤㅤ

Jules looked at her, she'd never seen Carol so nervous.

ㅤㅤ

“Some of the girls are going in couples or- or pairing to this ‘doomcoming’ and- I want to…” The blonde seemed to have trouble saying it, but even so she took courage and said it: "Would you go with me?”

ㅤㅤ

Danvers was asking her. Carol fucking Danvers, wild one, love for leather jackets, Top Gun and bad reputation.

ㅤㅤ

“I thought you would go with Valkyrie.” Jules frowned, but she wasn't going to deny that she was quite flattered.

ㅤㅤ

“Yeah, she's my friend but… I kinda… kinda like you too.” Carol handed her a pair of yellow daisies, a tiny bouquet. “…So?”

ㅤㅤ

Perhaps one of the cutest gestures Jules had ever received and never expected to come from fucking Carol Danvers.

What to say? ‘No, I'm waiting for Natasha to reconsider and come over.’ But the truth is that Nat wasn’t going to do it, the russian would never accept anything more and Jules' feelings would never be reciprocated.

ㅤㅤ

“I would be happy to go to the doomcoming with you.” Jules smiled tenderly and nodded, taking that flower. It was a pretty yellow daisy, the kind that grew near the lake.

She smiled, not out of courtesy this time, especially when Carol beamed and nodded quickly, excited.

ㅤㅤ

“Yeah? Awesome! I’ve to go, I left the booze alone and I should go back...” The blonde turned to go get dressed and get ready, but not before saying: “I told you someone was going to invite you, remember? Before the pep rally.”

ㅤㅤ

And she was right.

Wanda sighed and looked at herself in the mirror once more, couldn't even remember the last time she was so nervous.

Dates with Vision no longer that exciting tension, and although this time it was just a simple reunion in the middle of the forest, it made her heart pound fast.

ㅤㅤ

Natasha went into the attic and noticed how Wanda was struggling to close the zipper of her dress, so she came closer. “Come here, I’ll help you.”

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“Thank you.” Wanda smiled kindly and turned around.

ㅤㅤ

“hey, you look beautiful.” Nat told her with a kind smile and then reaffirmed it when Wanda turned to see her.

ㅤㅤ

“Would you help me braid it? My hair, I mean.” Wanda sighed and watched as her hair had fluffed up a bit due to the lack of hygiene items.

ㅤㅤ

Natasha agreed and they both went to the window so they could enjoy the sunlight, or the few minutes that were left of it.

They were chatting for a while until Wanda noticed that one of backpacks was open. She frowned, no one touched her stuff. Especially the bag where the girl collected the mushrooms and stuff she found in the forest, many could be toxic.

ㅤㅤ

“Hey, do you know if anyone searched my stuff? The bag where I keep the mushrooms is open.” She looked at Nat with some concern. “The ones we shouldn't eat.”

ㅤㅤ

“I have no idea, I just know that Carol was making the booze but I didn't see any mushrooms.” Nat frowned, finishing combing Wanda's hair. “Maybe some girl was looking for makeup?”

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Not very convinced about that but really hoping that it would be so, Wanda just nodded.  “Yeah, maybe.”

ㅤㅤ

Each of the girls met at the arch and ‘crossed it’ together. Between friends or couples, no one was ever alone. Even Pietro was encouraged to ask Monica, who accepted gladly. Yelena and Kate went together, the archer wearing a black suit -that Pietro gave her because her dress was torn- while Yelena a pretty blue dress.

ㅤㅤ

Y/N looked at herself once more in the old broken mirror and then left the cabin to walk towards the arch. She was wearing a beautiful black dress, they all had pretty flower crowns, her hair was loose.

But Y/N’s smile grew even more when she saw Wanda shyly approaching her. The brunette was wearing a beautiful dark scarlet dress, her hair was braided to the side, surely Natasha helped her. Y/N knew that she should say goodbye to her heart forever now.

ㅤㅤ

“Woah, you look…” Y/N searched for the exact word with which to define her but it was impossible, she was much more than all that. Feeling captivated just by seeing her, that beauty left her breathless.  “You look amazing. Beautiful.”

ㅤㅤ

“Thank you.” The blush made her look even prettier if that was possible. Wanda held out her arm.  “Shall we…?”

ㅤㅤ

“Let’s do this, gorgeous.” Y/N took her arm and they both crossed through that arch, listening to how their friends cheered those they were coming. They all laughed happily, imagining that it was a nice event at school.

ㅤㅤ

But once Wanda and Y/N walked through the arch hand in hand, they all cheered and smiled happily as they joined the round around the campfire.

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“Are they…?” Kate asked, smirking.

ㅤㅤ

“Duh.” Pietro responded, watching them happy.

ㅤㅤ

Being under everyone's gaze, they both turned to look at each other. And leaving any fear behind, Wanda took Y/N's face and kissed her. So bravely, her heart had no room for fear.

The cheering and happy laughs from everyone warmed their hearts, not realizing that an evil gaze was watching them from the attic.

ㅤㅤ

The last ones were Carol, who was wearing a black suit and her blond hair loose, making a perfect contrast. Next to her, Jules was wearing a dress of the same color, with some touches of lace.

ㅤㅤ

They all seemed happy too, except Natasha, who from her look seemed quite surprised and hurt to see them. The only one to notice this was Y/N.

ㅤㅤ

“Let the Doomcoming begin!” Jennifer yelled hitting a pot, starting that party. They all cheered and raised their glasses before trying some of that drink.

ㅤㅤ

“Oh, now we just need a DJ to pump up the volume.” Jules made a face as she tasted the drink, which while it wasn't the best, at least it was something.

ㅤㅤ

At that moment, Y/N took out her portable player from her pocket and held it up high, saving everyone's spirits. “Here's your savior, losers! Worship me!”

ㅤㅤ

“But dude, your battery will die tonight.” Kate pouted.

ㅤㅤ

“I know. I've been saving it for a special occasion.” Y/N just shrugged and approached Yelena, together they tried to fix it so the echo would make it louder.  

ㅤㅤ

They all squealed again and jumped with excitement when ‘Genie in a bottle’ one of the songs of the time, began to play.  They dance through the choreography completely, remembering for once that they were just teenagers. For one night, they all danced, laughed and drank, leaving behind all the bad things and enjoying themselves. Not knowing how hard tomorrow would be.

ㅤㅤ

Everything was going well until the player started to fail, until it ran out of battery in the middle of the party. They all began to boo and silence embraced them again.

ㅤㅤ

Y/N took  the device and the battery was definitely dead.  “Thanks my friend. You've come a long way... Yep, it's dead.”

ㅤㅤ

“That’s sad… We missed the slow dance.” Jules scrunched her nose.

ㅤㅤ

“There used to be a graying tower alone on the sea.” Kate began to sing, making the others laugh, but little by little they all joined in singing that slow song.

ㅤㅤ

Carol didn’t hesitate to take Jules hand and begin to dance slowly, without realizing that the russian seemed to annihilate her with just her gaze.

ㅤㅤ

“May I have this dance?” Y/N held out her hand to Wanda, playing  a bit to make her laugh, and of course, she succeeded.

ㅤㅤ

They both danced slowly while their friends sang. Wanda closed her eyes, trying to imagine that she was at the school homecoming, surrounded by everyone, finally with the person she truly wanted.

ㅤㅤ

“So… is this what a high school dance feels like?” Y/N murmured with a small smile, noticing how Wanda looked up to see her.

ㅤㅤ

The sokovian bit her bottom lip.  “I guess so.”

ㅤㅤ

“You look beautiful, Wands.”  Y/N leaned in to peck her lips and then moved away when the girls stopped singing because they were busy drinking.

ㅤㅤ

Wanda smiled as she took Y/N’s hand, moving away from everyone a bit. “Aren't you going to drink?”

ㅤㅤ

“Nah, I don't wanna drink too much… my mother is an alcoholic.” Y/N shrugged, trying not to lose her mind as Wanda fixed her shirt collar. “You?”

ㅤㅤ

“I think one sip was enough.” Wanda scrunched her nose. “I don't want to despise that ‘expensive’ berry liqueur.”

ㅤㅤ

“Hey… You want to get out of here?” The taller girl leaned in to whisper in her ear.  “I have something for us where you know.”

ㅤㅤ

That whisper made Wanda feel a chill down her spine, her body tensed exquisitely. They both knew exactly what that meant.

ㅤㅤ

“Oh, my God, yes.” Green eyes that sparkled with desire.

ㅤㅤ

Y/N smiled mischievously, leading her by the hand away from the party.

ㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤ

And the party went on for quite a while, until things started to get weird.

Natasha, who was standing in a corner watching that everything was okay, noticed that many of them began to laugh excessively and stumble. While the drink seemed strong, Nat found the girls' behavior quite strange.

ㅤㅤㅤ

The redhead approached to see the jar and noticed that they had almost drunk it all, but what surprised her the most was seeing some pieces of something strange at the bottom.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Natasha thanked that she didn't tried that thing.

ㅤㅤㅤ

About to reach in to remove it, Natasha stopped when she heard Jules voice, laughing out loud and sensually dancing to Carol, not caring too much who saw her. Back to the jar, Nat confirmed that they were mushrooms. The ones that Wanda was looking for in the afternoon.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hey. We have problems.” Natasha quickly approached to them, trying to get the attention of both but neither seemed interested. The brunette seemed interested in watching her hands in the air and moving, Carol was interested in her.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh, god. Look at these...” Jules muttered gawkingly, grinning when she finally discovered the stars, Natasha frowned quite worried.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Jules, listen. We need to find Y/N and Wanda, I think someone poisoned all of us… With shrooms.” Nat looked around to see who was missing, besides her friends. Neither Pietro nor Ward were there.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“You mean, like, shrooms-shrooms?” Jules chuckled and rolled her eyes, not even seeming to care too much about what she was saying. “Oh, god, this feels so good.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

All her senses were clouded when Carol placed her hand on her lower waist, pulling the girl closer. Jules seemed to enjoy it which annoyed Natasha enough to get in the way.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Can you listen to me for a fucking moment?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You look like a tree. Like a really hot tree.” Carol  buried her face in the brunette's neck, making her moan.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hey, enough, let her go.” Natasha finally pushed Carol away, making her stumble and fall to the ground. But Carol couldn't even get up, she just stayed babbling nonsense, lying on the ground in the craziest astral journey of all.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Fuck, this doesn't make sense.” Natasha just walked towards the cabin to look for the others.

“Guys, doesn't Natasha look like a tree right now?” Carol asked and they all started laughing.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“She kind of does, looks like fire too.” Jennifer babbled and moved closer to the torch, reaching out her hand to feel the heat but not burn herself. They all found something to loose themselves or just dropped on the floor.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Shut up. You all shut up.” Slowly Jules began to come to her senses even while completely drugged. She stopped, holding on to one of the trees. “Someone drugged us.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I feel weird. I don't like this.” Kate blinked rapidly, looking down at her hands. Her hands were no longer hands, they were hawk claws.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Shh. Do you feel that?” Jules swallowed, trying to hear through all the screaming. She narrowed her eyes, something was speaking to her, an almost imperceptible whisper.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I think I do, like... energy coming up from the ground.” Yelena lay back on the ground, sinking her hands into the earth.

Jules whispered: “Something is coming… It says we won't be hungry much longer.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Yelena laughed out loud.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“She needs help… Can't you hear it?” The brunette covered her ears, trying to concentrate but they just kept going in that madness. Without further ado, she walked to the cabin to take the axe.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Hand in hand, Y/N and Wanda arrived at their special place, smirking. Y/N borrowed some candles, of course they surely wouldn't notice the lack of these with the party going.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Y/N, this is… ” Wanda couldn't even finish.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N lit some old candles, they had some blankets on the grass and the most romantic atmosphere that both of them could imagine in such a situation. In the distance you could see some fireflies hanging around, making the moment even more special.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I found these yesterday, had to hide them well.”  Y/N pointed to a small bowl with some berries, not many but enough to share. She'd had a hard time hiding them among her stuff without Jules or Nat noticing.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“You’re the cutest.” Wanda smiled widely, the way Y/N made her feel was so unique and so pure. She never thought someone could show her so much affection like that, even having so little.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I just… I want to make you feel good.” The girl sighed deeply, feeling so nervous. She cleared her throat before going on.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m in love with you… Ever since I met you, I haven't stopped thinking about you. When you came from your country, you sat at the back of the classroom. You didn't talk much.” Y/N took Wanda’s hand, inviting her to sit next to her.  “You had those adorable braces, and your glasses… which I love how you look with them.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda just blushed, adjusting her glasses.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I love everything about you.” Y/N finished this little love speech before sealing it with a soft kiss.

ㅤㅤㅤ That promise became real, that night was special. Slowly, both of them took off their clothes carefully. Though desire was there and the need made their skins burn, patience was an exquisite addition to this moment.

The first time Wanda made love, leaving all fear and prejudice behind.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N made sure that every touch made her feel safe, just as she also made sure that Wanda felt at ease by giving her pleasure.

Holding her, Y/N helped Wanda move her hips quickly looking for the third orgasm. Her fingers completely saoked from the humidity of that tight sex, asking for more. The way her hand cradled Wanda's breasts perfectly, or how their lips met before coming together.

The way Wanda's lips ran over Y/N's belly, kissing and biting the area to make sure it was hers. It didn't matter if it wasn't Y/N’s first time, she knew that this was the most important one. ㅤㅤㅤ

She didn't know how to do it, the sokovian had never even seen those pornographic TV channels or magazines like the cabin ones, but Y/N taught her every place she had to touch until Wanda knew her completely.

Her tongue ran through Y/N’s sex and she knew perfectly well that she just had to let herself go, devouring her girlfriend completely.

ㅤㅤㅤ

No one had ever told Wanda that this was a trap, giving pleasure to Y/N also caused her exquisite pleasure.

The first time together, one of the most perfect of all.

They both put on their clothes slowly, smiling completely in love. Both decided to stay a while longer, lying down, catching their breath, they both watched the stars feeling like a small part of that vast universe.

ㅤㅤㅤ “I love you, detka.” Wanda was encouraged to confess, she couldn't understand how all that excitement and happiness only seemed to increase more and more. Now she understands what everyone means when they talk about sex.

ㅤㅤㅤ

With a big leap, Y/N’s heart was ready to give itself completely once more.  “I love you, Wands.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Both remained embraced for a moment until the sound of the leaves breaking made Y/N alert and quickly get up.

Maybe a wild animal? A wolf? Maybe a deer, the good thing is that maybe the fire could help. But the footsteps didn’t seem to be from some wild animal, the steps were slow and clumsy.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Wait here.” Y/N whispered, Wanda tried to stop her but the girl just told her to be quiet.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N took a step forward, grabbing one of the gas lamps but a grunt and a 'fuck!' made her relax.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Coach Ward?” Y/N frowned, coming out of their place to look for the man. Perhaps he got lost, the man had been quite lonely lately.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Y/N, you have to help me… something is over here.” The man begged. Y/N searched through the trees but the only thing she found was a strong blow to the back of her neck, making her fall.

ㅤㅤㅤ

The man they thought it could be trusted, approached against Y/N and began to hit her over and over again. On her face, on her ribs, on her back.

Ward held back her anger for so long, finally releasing it in the most cruel and hateful way.

ㅤㅤㅤ

He had always been a rather cold and unhappy man, especially with his job as a mediocre high school coach. Ward never believed that there could be anything worse than that, until the plane went down.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Losing his job, his life and his leg caused him to lose his mind as well. Poisoning all the girls with the mushrooms to make them completely helpless was the first step. With each blow, Ward felt his anger rise. The only way to feel powerful was to make others worse off than he was.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda screamed horrified, running to help Y/N but only received a blow from that man's cane, making her fall to the ground too.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“You're the one who chopped my leg, right?” Ward yelled furious and moved toward her, he took the girl and dragged her, staying on top of her. “You fucking cunt!”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“HELP!” Wanda yelled with all her might, hoping that one of her friends would hear.

ㅤㅤㅤ Y/N was unconscious next to her, her face began to swell due to the strong blows.

Taking advantage of his strength and knowing that he could subdue the girl, Ward prevented Wanda from escaping or moving her hands.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I'm going to kill each one of you. I'm sick of all of you!” He growled through his teeth, squeezing Wanda's neck with his dirty hand. “Stop jerking around like a fish! I'll do something you'll like.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“NO!” Wanda's eyes widened, terror chilling her blood.  “HELP!”

ㅤㅤㅤ

But nobody responded. She kicked the man on his injured leg, making Ward to grunt in pain.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“HELP ME!” Wanda screamed once more before Ward punched her face and pulled out a hunting knife, slashing her thigh.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Staggering desperately, clinging to every tree she found, the brunette felt the screams grow louder. Everything around Jules was spinning non-stop, the effect of the mushrooms and the alcohol began to hit hard.

Dragging the ax to her side, she walked over to where the voices were growing. More and more, they whispered that she must do it.

ㅤㅤㅤ

She frowned seeing how a weird monster tried to attack Wanda, desperate, about to do something horrible. As soon as Jules saw that scene, she approached and without thinking, without hesitation, raised the ax and hit the man's back with strength, making him cry out in pain.

Drops of blood spattered on the girl’s pale face; Jules stepped back, watching as Ward dropped Wanda and scrambled to the ground like a trampled insect.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Julia stepped forward, still carrying the axe.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“D-Don’t-” he begged, raising his hand.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“SHE SAID ‘NO’!” Jules raised the ax again and hit him once more, two, three times, taking his life. But suddenly that man stopped, opening his eyes wide, finally finding death. Droplets of blood began to escape from his dry lips, falling to the ground. Moistening the earth.

ㅤㅤㅤ

A strange breeze moved their hair when that happened, as if something woke up in that place. And it did, something ancient and ancestral  awakened.

ㅤㅤㅤ

The blood had been spilled.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda screamed in horror and pushed him away from her, Ward's corpse lying next to her.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What did I do?” Jules murmured, remaining in that trance. Still holding the bloody axe, clinging to it.  “What did I do? What did I do?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

The girl repeated again and again.

Wanda got up and ran to Y/N, kneeling by her side, trying to wake her up. Her heart broke to see that Y/N her face and right eye swollen.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Detka, please wake up. Please, my love, wake up.” Wanda caressed her cheek, The Sokovian woman put her ear to Y/N's chest to check if she was still alive, and sighed to confirm it. Her heart kept beating.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Little by little, Y/N opened er good eye. Looked around her and understood the horror scene in front of them.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Are you okay?”  Y/N asked to her girlfriend, was barely able to speak because of the pain.

ㅤㅤㅤ

At that moment Natasha came running desperately, the fear on her face was shown  when she saw her friends on the ground and a bloody shocked Jules in front of Ward. Mumbling nonsense.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Jules, hey, do you hear me?” The redhead cupped Jules's face, trying to snap her out of her trance. She reached for the axe, stroking Jules hand gently to take the axe.   “Let it go. Easy.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I heard that she needed me, I heard-” Jules kept saying, the tears began to fall down her face without stopping.  “I swear. I swear, believe me. Something told me to come here and help her!”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Nat turned to see Wanda, who was helping Y/N get up.  “Are you okay?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

The sokovian nodded slowly, worried about her girlfriend's condition. “He was going to… he wanted to-…" Wanda swallowed, feeling a tiny blood trickle down her leg from her body. She turned her gaze away to not see Ward's body. “She’s right, she defended me.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It’s okay. Don’t look at him, look at me.” Natasha murmured. "We have to get them to the cabin, now." ㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda helped Y/N to stay on her feet.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Her eyes are still dilated.” Natasha murmured, looking into Jules's eyes, then looked at her friends. “Let's go. We don't know if he attacked anyone else. Then we'll see what to tell them.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

How would they explain all this to the other girls? Oh, this was going to cause chaos.

ㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤNOW

ㅤㅤㅤ

How strange is. So strange to finally wake up without being the victim of nightmares.

Y/N sighed and opened her eyes, feeling Wanda's soft caresses on her belly. They were both lying on that bed after having spent a wonderful and passionate night.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Morning.” Y/N murmured in fear of breaking the moment, that it would break completely and everything would go back to 'normal', that cold place she already knew.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Morning.” Wanda answered with a soft voice, without stopping those caresses, which made Y/N sigh in relaxation.

They were both like that for a while, enjoying the pleasant silence that the morning offered.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N's fingers gently caressed Wanda’s thigh, feeling that scar. A memory of that night, so beautiful and at the same time so harsh.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Do you still remember everything that happened there or does it start to fade between memories?” Y/N whispered while her fingertips traced her belly.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sometimes I wonder if what we experienced was real or there are parts where my head makes it up.” Wanda sighed feeling the caresses.  “The scar reminds me that it was true.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N kept her gaze on her thigh, somewhat thoughtful. “I’m sorry.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It wasn’t your fault.” The brunette looked up to see her, noticing the guilt in Y/N's eyes. She placed a soft kiss on her jaw, despite the fact that she made all that guilt worse for a long time due to anger, Wanda didn’t want to see her that way. Not anymore.  “None of it was your fault.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N said nothing, just kept caressing the bare skin of her beloved, running through it like that first time.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What you did was to help us survive, Jules saved us that night and you saved us the following months… Hey, look at me.” The sokovian took her face to fix her gaze on Y/N’s eyes.  “Those of us who did it, it was thanks to you.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N swallowed, wishing she felt the same way about herself. “Do you think I did it right?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“You did what we had to in order to survive.” Wanda assured her. And likewise, because despite the fact that she tried to go through life thinking that all that was behind her, guilt often used to drown her.

But life gave her the little ones, and she had to be strong.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I love you.” Y/N whispered lost in those beautiful green eyes.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda just smiled with a certain tenderness and kissed those lips.

The brunette sat on Y/N's hips, enjoying seeing the nakedness of the woman below her. Wanda's fingertips rubbed her belly slowly.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“So…” She bit her lower lip, happy to see that the taunt worked.  It had been a long time since Wanda's sex life was as active as it is now. Feeling like a seductive woman, would do anything to please Y/N. “Pancakes or morning quickie?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N smirked, caressing her hips.  “You know I can't resist you.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It's good because I really need to feel you.” Wanda said with a mischievous smile, leaning down to kiss her lips slowly, deeply and passionately.

ㅤㅤㅤ 🐝🐝🐝 Things will get ugly for the baby Yellowjackets... and maybe the grown ups too. ㅤㅤㅤ

the cutest and lovely people tags ✨ @kaiidth-wandika @yourfavunsub @pawiie @fanboy7794 @sunsol-22 @scarlettbitchx @arcturusseer @imnotasuperhero @chtte @lesbians-in-outer-space @starry-night17 @cristin-rjd @kenlymar @chtte @marvelogic @druggedduck @aliherreraaa @widowwaddles @gingiesworld

[pastrydragon]

Accent, speech pattern and Voice headcanons for the Gotham Rogues.

Riddler

In casual settings, Eddie has a slight New Jersey accent and cusses with the frequency you would expect from that.

He almost always has perfect grammar and has a very impressive vocabulary.

But there are some situations where "Fuck" just does not have a suitable replacement.

When he's going against Batman, The Riddler adopts a more trans Atlantic accent since it goes with his gameshow aesthetic.

Also since a LOT of his schemes are publicly televised he doesn't want to cuss on camera or forget to project his voice.

So adopting a different accent helps his brain remember how to act on camera so he can always appear classy.

Edward's voice is a bit more high and nasally than average, but not to an annoying degree. It's not particularly unique either. So if he remembers so change his voice slightly then he can make a phone call to anywhere and they won't recognize him.

Emotional variations include his accent getting thicker when he's angry or exhausted.

Scarecrow

John has a very rural Georgian accent.

Scarecrow: The Master Of Fear has a rather dramatic way of speaking due to his love of classic literature and poetry.

His years in academia have also left him with a very intellectual and scientific vocabulary.

John speaks with a kind of intensity and eloquence that you'd expect on a stage rather than at the front of a classroom.

A smooth baritone only enhances the effect.

Had he not been a professor, he would have made a killing as a raidio star or television narrator.

John only breaks out Southernisms when he's embarrassed. "Well I never!" "Why I outta-" he also stammers when embarrassed. otherwise his speech patterns don't have noticeable emotional variation except the ones he puts there.

Mad Hatter

Jervis has a strong Bristol accent. Which is an English accent that strongly pronounces R's and tends to slap an L at the end of words that should end in a vowel.

The classic example is Opera'l instead of Opera.

His voice is naturally high and soft, often making him sound much more indulgent toward others than he's actually feeling.

Although he does quote the Alice books often, he does not quote longer passages exactly unless he's having an episode.

The rest of the time he'll change them to fit what's happening or merely reference them.

If he's feeling particularly lucid and cheery, you may not even hear mention of the books at all.

Stress will cause longer more accurate quotes and chip at his lucidity along the way.

His only other emotional variation comes out when he's feeling flirtatious.

Jervis's voice tends to get more breathy and cooing around people he likes. He also goes harder on his R's giving some words a purr like sound.

Harley Quinn

We all know and love our girl Harley's Brooklyn accent.

Honestly I can't make an improvement on the BTAS version so scroll down.

Poison Ivy

Pam has a Virginian accent. It's the kind of southern bell accent you'd associate with Blanche Devereux.

Pair that with a voice like a lounge singer and everything that comes out of her mouth sounds sexy.

Even when she doesn't want it to.

It's actually pretty annoying for her.

Unlike John she uses plenty of southernisms such as "I Reckon" "Over yonder" and of course the venom filled "Bless your heart."

Catwomen

The Miami accent is strong on this women, and it tells you exactly why she moved to Gotham.

You can't wear all black leather in the kind of weather Florida's got.

Miami heat isn't sweet to everyone.

Being a second generation Cuban immigrant, she speaks Spanish fluently and while she speaks both it and English seamlessly she has run into one glitch.

She will occasionally forget whether a turn of phrase was originally English or Spanish.

She called John a dancing skeleton once and no one has let it die. From Esqueleto rumbero- Literally: Dancing skeleton, Meaning: Very thin.

Her actual voice is a pretty standard alto. Like Ed, as long as she disguises her accent she can basically call wherever without being recognized.

Another rogue that hits their R's harder while flirting. But it's less a seductive purr and more an "Oh, I'm being HUNTED" kind of sound to hear.

Bane

Bane is directly from Venezuela and has the accent to match.

His English is phenomenal for someone who's only been speaking it a few years but it's not always perfect.

Whenever he doesn't know or forgets the word for something he'll describe it using other words until the other person figures it out for him.

For example, this interaction between him and Riddler: "I need the office knives." "... I'm sorry, what?" "The office knives, with the holes in the handle." "Hmmm, is the answer perhaps scissors?" "YES! I need the scissors!"

Edward is the grand champion of figuring out what Bane is saying if Catwomen or Music Meister isn't there to translate the word from Spanish.

Bane has a naturally loud and deep voice which can make him sound aggressive even when he's not trying to be. His size doesn't help.

But really he's a very calm and levelheaded person.

If he's actually angry, you'll know it from how quiet deliberate his speech becomes.

A quiet Bane is a dangerous Bane.

Joker

New York accent.

Drops occasional NY phrases but doesn’t mention anything culturally significant to New York unless someone else brings it up.

He doesn't remember what part of New York he's from but if asked he'll say Coney Island.

His jealousy over Eddie growing up in Wildwood is real.

Harley swears up and down he's from Staten Island and anyone familiar with the different New York accents would agree with her.

Joker has a pretty distinct reedy voice that all gothamites will recognize as soon as they hear it.

It gets even higher on the rare occasion he's scared or nervous.

Music Meister

SoCal (Southern California) accent.

This accent is also called Valley Girl.

He's originally from San Diego and spent his early twenties in LA so the accent is thick and locked in.

He moved to the east coast to attempt a Broadway career before turning to villainy and kind of regrets not moving back west first.

He's the first person to complain about cold weather and bad Mexican food when the chance pops up.

But he's gotten too fond of the other rogues to seriously consider leaving.

Even if the Scarecrow keeps smacking him with a newspaper every time he misuses the word "literally".

He automatically starts singing his words when he becomes frightened or incredibly nervous. Which made sense until he revealed he did that even before he got his powers.

Odd.

Killer Croc

Waylon has a thick cajun accent, that along with a naturally growly bass voice can make it difficult for others to understand him.

He prefers speaking French to English and will go out of his way to talk to people he thinks might speak his preferred language.

Jervis, Edward, Victor Fries and Joker speak with him in French when in a one on one conversation. 

Yes Joker speaks French, no he doesn’t remember why or how. He honestly didn’t even know he could until he met Waylon. 

Waylon is incredibly charming and personable once you figure out what he's saying, he's definitely the most well liked rogue among his peers next to Harley.

Emotional variants include getting even more growly when angry and speaking completely in French when distracted.

Penguin

A lot of people say he has an English accent, he doesn’t, never say this in front of him.

The man is WELSH, and he has ruined people’s lives over having his accent confused on particularly difficult days.

He takes great pride in his heritage and being accused of being “English” of all things is one of the quickest ways to sour his mood.

No offense to Mr. Tetch of course, it's the principle of the thing really.

He rarely speaks Welsh these days unless visiting extended family.

He does use the proverb “Deuparth gwaith yw ei ddechrau”(Two-thirds of work is starting), mostly to himself but he’ll use the proverb with others when appropriate.

Emotional variants include his voice getting squawk like when scared. He also laughs like a mad pelican.

Clayface

I forget who came up with this originally and I'm kicking myself for not remembering but I've adopted the head canon that Clayface was an "aging" K-pop/drama star that was on tour in the states when his manager coerced him into trying an experimental cosmetic treatment that turned him into Clayface.

So Clay has a very strong Korean accent and probably speaks the worst English out of all the rogues.

It's passable but he understandably just wasn't expecting to need it this much.

Despite his difficulties he still somehow gains control over the majority of his conversations and seems to exude likability.

He's trained for years to make his voice as soothing and pleasant as possible and he's not going to let being a mud monster ruin his hard work.

Until something triggers his traumatic memories and sends him into a frothing rage full of bubbling curses or a depressive meltdown where he becomes a pile of blubbering goo.

He's totally incomprehensible when he's having either kind of breakdown even to other Korean speakers, honestly HE doesn't even really know what he's saying.

Many of the rogues have hired him to put his acting skills to use in various schemes and Clayface is amazed at all the new voices he can do.

He's also been Music Meister's backup vocalist for a few of his schemes so you know he's legitimately good.

Bookworm

He has a rather general east coast accent.

Until he gets angry and starts cursing in Portuguese.

You'd never guess because he's an ashy fucker and his skin never sees the sun since he spends all his time reading inside, but the guy is mainly indigenous Brazilian.

You might be able to get a clue from his facial features if he wasn't wearing the world's thickest glasses and a hat.

He has near permanent "Library voice" so people often struggle to hear him above everything else that might be going on.

His voice is surprisingly sonorous and captivating when he can be well heard.

Since Arkham doesn't often get new books, fresh literature was fought over until Joker suggested "AudioBookworm" which is just Bookworm reading the new book aloud for everyone.

Until his little used voice gives out a bit at which point Scarecrow or Mad Hatter will step in until the end of the chapter.

Mr. Freeze

Victor has a moderate Icelandic accent.

Riddler and Joker have a competition going to see how many lines from Skyrim they can trick him into saying.

Victor figured it out immediately but plays dumb to this day in order to fuck with them.

He said "Hey, you. You're finally awake." to Edward after he woke up from a nap in the rec room once and Victor will treasure the face that nerd made forever.

Victor has a bit of a "resting bitch voice" he always sounds annoyed.

Unless he's talking to Nora, then he just sounds like a simp.

Not really a voice head canon but he gets hiccups very easily from laughing.

BONUS Nora

Nora is from Belarus so she often got mistaken for having a Russian accent.

But unlike Oswald she rarely cares enough to correct people much less get angry over it.

Nora speaks with great confidence and authority, even when she doesn't necessarily have either.

Her voice definitely broadcasts "Don't even fucking THINK about arguing with me."

The personality and accent get her the nickname "Ice queen" wherever she works.

Which is very unfair, she's a kind and compassionate women!

She's just also right and she should say it.

Nora's voice becomes utterly saccharine around Victor, they're absolutely obnoxious to listen to together.

[zebraszegras]

"I’m pregnant"

First fic for this AU!!

Pairing: Luke Hughes x OC Sophie Winters

Word count: 1k words :)

Warnings: talk of pregnancy, mentions of morning sickness, slight angst, like one swear word, fluff at the end :) NOT PROOF READ

_______________________________________________

Sophie was finally able to get some time off from college to fly up to New jersey for three weeks. She had been missing Luke so much recently. It was a lot harder then she thought, being miles away from him for months on end, but they made it work. They were making sure not to take any of they're time for granted.

Unfortunately, during week two of her visit, Sophie had gotten sick with something. She was waking up to go puke and felt horrible. At first, the thought of being pregnant didn't even cross her mind, but then when she checked her period app and saw she was 6 days late, she started to panic. She was never late.

On the third day of week three of her trip, Sophie went down to the closest pharmacy while Luke was at practice and bought three different brands of pregnancy tests just to be sure. She was mentally freaking out, but was trying to convince herself it was nothing.

She was staring at the boxes on the counter, thinking deeply about what she would do if she was pregnant, but decided to just take them before she psyched herself out of it.

She took all three tests before leaving the bathroom and pacing around Luke's room for the 10 minutes it took all of them to tell. As soon as she heard the alarm, she ran back in and quickly gave herself a pep talk before flipping the tests.

Pregnant. Pregnant. Pregnant.

They all said pregnant. She was going to have a baby. She stared in shock for about 2 minutes before breaking out into sobs. What was she going to do? What was Luke going to think? How was this going to work?

Her mind was working miles per minute. She couldn't do this. She wasn't ready to be a mother. She knew she was going to keep the baby. This was her fault and she would never forgive herself in the future if she did get rid of it.

She checked the time, seeing Luke and Jack would be back in about half an hour. She quickly cleaned everything up, hiding the tests. She washed her face and went to lay in bed, thinking of ways to tell Luke about this.

She didn't get much time however, because she hears the front door open and Luke yells out "We're back!". The panic sets in again, but she quickly calms herself down and waits for Luke to walk in.

She moves on with her day, not mentioning anything until later that night, when they're both laying in Luke's bed together. She mentally yells at herself for keeping it in all day, before opening her mouth faster then her mind was working.

"I need to tell you something," she says quickly.

Luke's hand that was rubbing up and down her back stops at the tone of her voice, and he pulls back from her just enough to see her face.

"What's wrong?" He questions.

"Promise you won't get mad at me," she begs, "I hate when you're mad at me."

Luke frowns and sits up.

"I promise," he whispers. She can tell by his expressions that he's nervous. Here goes nothing.

"I'm pregnant." The band aid's been ripped.

Luke doesn't say anything. He just stares at her until she can't take it anymore.

"Lu? Please say something. Anything," her voice is shaky, and her eyes gloss over. He stands up to pace around his room.

"Are you being serious?" he finally speaks. She nods her head before dropping her eyes to her shaking hands.

"Sophie I can't- my career is just starting and you're fucking pregnant?"

A sob escapes her mouth. He's mad, he promised he wouldn't be mad.

"I'm sorry," sob. "I really am," Another sob. "I'm keeping it though. I would never forgive myself if I didn't," sob. "I won't hate you if you don't want it. I know how much your career means to you," and again, another sob escapes past her lips.

Luke's face softens at her words, and his heart breaks that she thinks he's leaving her when she needs him most, when she's carrying they're child. He crouches in front of her, placing his hands on her knees and rubs them lovingly.

"Soph, look at me," he whisper softly. When she looks up at him with her red and teary eyes, his first tear of the night falls from his eye. "You have nothing to be sorry for."

"I promise you, I'm not leaving you okay? Nothing means more to me then you. I love you, and now I'm gonna love our baby," he tells her as more tears stream down his face.

"We're gonna be parents," she whispers with a small smile. "You're gonna be the best mother this world has ever seen baby," he says as he smiles through the tears.

Sophie lets out another sob before wrapping her arms around his neck, his going to her waist. They cry happy tears into each others shoulders. Luke whispers sweet nothings into her ear, things about how she's going to be an amazing mom, and how he couldn't imagine anyone else to be the mother to his child.

After a bit, Sophie pulls back to look at him with a small frown on her lips.

"Luke what are we gonna do? We live hours away from each other."

He moves his hands up to her face to wipe her tears, before kissing both her cheeks, then her forehead, and lastly her lips.

"We can talk about this later, ok baby? Why don't we lay down for tonight and talk more in the morning." Just the way he was talking was enough to make Sophie's heart squeeze in joy.

"Okay," she whispers. Luke stands up and picks Sophie up, laying down with her on his chest.

"I love you, future mom," he says with a kiss to her head.

"I love you, future dad," Sophie responds with a small smile. They were going to be just fine.

_______________________________________________

OKAY SO THAT WAS CRAZYYYYYYYYYY

what do we think? do we like? do we hate?

personally i love teehee

This is my first AU so im still learning how i want things to work, BUT

im loving this IM SO READY FOR THIS AUUUU

please send in your thoughts on this, and start sending in asks for blurbs and other fics and what not because I DONT KNOW WHERE TO GO FROM HERE

Anywayyyss that being said

thank you for reading and i love you all!

- Audree ♡

[lazaruspiss]

recently realized that dick had a relationships with all three of his rapists beyond one incident, like he lived with liu and eddie for a while, mirage posed as kori for an extended period of time and we really have no way of knowing how long he was with catalina, this creates a pattern of people that he knows betraying him and using him for their own gratification

which makes me think of his relationships with his family and friends rn, if one of them started crossing boundaries would he accept it? would he even have expected it? if babs didn’t hear him say wait one night would he know that it’s a mistake or would he think “ah, you too?”

like he loves his family and trusts them with his life but I don’t think he can trust them not to hurt him and that includes sexually, part of it is the constant paranoia that comes with being a vigilante for almost two decades and part of it is unprocessed trama but thinking anyone could start to abuse him probably isn’t good for his health or for his relationships lmao

oh for sure for sure!! im also fairly convinced dick would struggle seeing any of those incidents as rape. the liu incident doesn't meet the proper legal qualifications, he was at times blamed by his own team for what happened with mirage, and so much plays into the situation with catalina that im not sure he'd even be able to process it at all. the murder takes priority, and he'd see it more through a lense of him failing to save cat than him being assaulted.

dick wouldn't /want/ to have been assaulted, so i don't think he'd categorize any of that as rape. if others cross boundaries, he might justify/minimize it out of habit. less that he thinks anyone could/would abuse him, and more that he would never recognize harm done to him as abuse.

(some notes for those without context on some of the stuff being referred to!)

liu and eddie: there's a storyline in which dick runs away at 16 (or as he puts it, one month short of 17) and lives on his own. by which i mean, most likely homeless. he works as a dishwasher iirc. one day, his coworker recommends these people who take in teenaged runaways and offers them a place to stay. it's functionally a gang that uses cult recruitment tactics to manipulate teenagers into doing their bidding. the /they/ being liu and eddie. dick is just another kid, and doesnt realize what they're doing until he's already pretty deep in it. there's a fair amount of bonding and attachment, with liu and eddie showing him favoritism and singling him out in a way that makes them his primary support network. eventually this all leads to a sexual encounter between dick and liu. something worth noting: the age of consent in new jersey (where gotham is and where this story is set) is 16, and as it was a technically consensual encounter it is incredibly unlikely for it to be legally classified as rape/sexual assault.

mirage: ok imma be real u gotta ask someone else for this one. or maybe read the actual comics bc tumblr is a mess when looking for actually useful info.

catalina: ok!! ok... from my understanding there was originally going to be a full plotline about dick being in an abusive relationship with catalina, but it was rushed/cut short so that DC could put nightwing in a batman crossover event. classic. but dick had already been trying to mentor catalina for a decent while before she started abusing him. tried to /mentor/ her. her hurting him? to dick, it would likely feel like a reflection on him. that /he/ must have fucked up for her to end up doing something like that. it's left somewhat vague, but we don't have any reason to not believe cat continued to sexually abuse dick off page. we see her get him drunk and try to get him to sign marriage documents, she wants to /possess/ him. dick is incredibly dissociative throughout the aftermath, up until DC needed to force him out of his own story arc to hold daddy bat's hand. sorry lol

[monstrousgourmandizingcats]

do you think laura lee is a catholic? I always thought she was a protestant (mainly bc im a catholic from NJ and the snippets of her pre-crash life didn't seem to line up w/ my experiences) but i've seen some people say she's a catholic and you're like the catholic expert on here so i wanted to ask you

No I do not. Laura Lee is Protestant as all get-out.

I think people read Laura Lee as Catholic for a few different reasons. The first is the "Camp Mary Magdalene" thing; this seems to be the name of her summer camp in the 1x08 flashback (although as @lais-a-ramos has pointed out there's other stuff in this scene indicating that this is a meet of multiple camps and thus CMM might not be her own), and, while it's a weird name for a Catholic summer camp to have, it's a way weirder one for a Protestant one to have. But this doesn't necessarily mean much other than that she or her parents wanted something "faith-based"; I grew up in New Jersey as well, was raised vaguely Christian by a lapsed Catholic mother, and went to a summer camp so Jewish that we sang the Israeli national anthem every morning. (This would come across as very incendiary of the camp in Current Year, but this was the late 2000s, and at least la Mantovana is a great melody.) The nondiegetic reason for the camp's name is probably just that the people who make the show don't cornplate these things as much as autistic Yellowjackets superfans* do.

There's also the "our blonde patron saint" description of her in the season 1 scripts. I think "patron saint" is being used more broadly and allusively here; my guess is that direction was written by someone who was from a Catholic background themselves. It also ties into the show's broader themes around these girls' devotion to exalted, stylized qualities in one another. That's hard to square with a Protestant understanding of sanctity and a lot easier to square with a Catholic one.

On a broader sociocultural level, I suspect people "want" Laura Lee to be Catholic because her sort of Ned-Flanders-before-his-eponymous-TV-Trope-set-in genuinely-well-meaning Evangelical God-bothering is unfortunately kind of unusual these days. It's been supplanted by something much more aggressive and mean-spirited, including outside the US; South America in particular produces both a disproportionate number of Laura Lee stans and a disproportionate number of EXTREMELY right-wing Evangelical communities that have given her kind of Christianity an even worse name than it has in left-leaning parts of North America and Europe. So I think a lot of the fandom would like Laura Lee to be Catholic because it's a flavor of conservative-ish Christianity that people find easier to understand in a character they like. I totally get this; I'm Catholic myself. But no, I don't think she actually is Catholic. The first L in Laura Lee is for latitudinarian; the second L is for low church.

*Of whom I am the foremost; I think I was the first person in the fandom to notice that Shauna's holy card in the pilot is anachronistic, since Our Lady Undoer of Knots was not a widespread devotion outside Latin America until Pope Francis was elected. It's very popular now, so my guess is that the prop was a holy card that a Catholic member of the cast or crew happened to have close at hand during filming.

[49125]

@therebetterbepie didn't ask for this but gets it anyway

Modest heels crunch along the gravel that leads up to the door. It was hardly the ideal place to have to do this. Yet there was little other choice. Knuckles rap against the well worn door before she brushes unseen dust from her blazer and skirt. Checking her watch as she waits for the door to open, toes tapping against the uneven ground. A scrap yard. Pathetic. All that wealth and this was the only option? A scoff leaves her before the creak of the door draws her attention.

"Dean Winchester?"

"Not on your life lady. Who's askin'?" Eyes sweep over the weathered man standing before her. Another strike. How as this the right choice? Surely there were other options. Whatever, that was hardly her job. Neither was delivery, yet there she was. Annoyed, with dirt on shoes that were likely more expensive than the entire property.

"Adair. Sylvia Adair with New Jersey Social Services."

"Social services? The hell you want with the Winchesters?"

"That's something that I need to discuss with Dean Winchester."

"Well lady, hate to break it to ya but Dean ain't here. M'the best you're gonna get."

There was no point in this argument. She's too tired to care at this point. Clearly this man knew who she was looking for. So what did it matter any more. Arms uncross from her chest before flicking a file out to him. It would tell him everything that he needed to know anyway. Who cared. She'd just sign off that she'd done her job and be done with it. Watching him flip through the pages inside she wishes that he'd just hurry up so that she could get out of this hell hole of a place.

"You gotta be shittin' me."

"No." It was all that he was going to get before she turns on her heel and heads back towards the car. Pulling open the door it doesn't take long before another set of feet are hitting the ground and making their way towards the door. "I trust that you will do what you need to do."

"Lady you can't just -- What the hell are you thinkin'?!"

"It's my job. You don't have to like it."

"You don't even know who I am!" "Robert Singer. Sometimes known as Bobby. And the last known address for one Dean Winchester. Either you know where he is, or you are the only one left." She didn't much care which was true. Returning to the car despite the yelling coming from behind her, she gets in and pulls away without a second thought.

"Damn it all to hell. You better be somewhere damn close, boy."

[droughtofapathy]

"Welcome to the Theatre": Diary of a Broadway Baby

Cats: The Jellicle Ball

July 6, 2024 | Off-Broadway | PAC-NYC | Evening | Musical | Revival | 2H 30M

Well, I didn't hate it. But I didn't love it either, so at least my pretentious theatre persona didn't take a complete hit.

Cats remains one of the most divisive shows in musical theatre history. You either love it or hate it, and you can guess where I stand. Cats: The Jellicle Ball is a high-concept revival that recenters the story on ballroom culture. It's queer, it's spectacle, it's painfully appropriate. It works so well and I'm a little mad about it. I fear this was the way Cats was always meant to be presented. Now, the "cats" are ballroom performers with two Houses (House of MaCavity and House of Dots) competing for trophies and Old Deuteronomy's approval. The ultimate prize remains the Heavyside Layer, which is still basically just ritualistic suicide so I don't know what's up with that, but sure, fine, whatever.

Things of note:

Jennyanydots is a House Mother who has a litter of virgin voguers ("kittins") she's coaching to win the competitions.

Munkustrap is the Emcee of the night.

The virgin voguers are Victoria, Cassandra, and Electra.

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer are from Jersey and cause all sorts of havoc during the category competitions.

Rum Tum Tugger is as horny as ever, and if you read any other reviews, they'll mention the actor's jockstrap. Personally, as a lesbian, I was unimpressed, and his overall performance was just okay to me. His voice was very much your basic pop star kiss the mic and pout kind of deal. Don't care.

Macavity is less of a villain here and more of an irresponsible House Father who shoplifts his house members' costumes. This is about the only real plot we have. The police come to arrest Macavity for his thefts and Old Duteronemy "gives himself up" to the cops to protect Macavity (who is now guilt-ridden and apologetic(?))

But don't worry. Magical Mr. Mistoffeles is here to save the day with a big magician's trick box and Andre de Shields emerges unscathed.

Gus, the theatre cat is played by Junior LaBeija, an icon and trailblazer of ballroom culture. He has been a member of House of LaBeija for over fifty years, and his legendary status shows.

Skimbleshanks is a slutty MTA employee.

Grizabella is a former ballroom icon who is well-past her prime. Now homeless and destitute, she longs to regain the glamour of her youth.

The changes to the setting and "story" means that some "cats" are drastically downgraded. Bombalurina doesn't get to do anything anymore (and the one "Macavity" song is...not impressive from her end). Jellylorum gets elevated to a more vocally impressive role. Shereen Pimentel is almost single-handedly carrying the entire cast's singing. She floats on that high soprano track and I am in awe.

As a piece of artistry, this new concept is radical, transformative, and wildly creative. As a musical, the source material is still...Cats... So like, there's only so high it can climb. Yes, it's a fun night out. It's wild. I sat along the runway, so I had "cats" dancing right in front of me and twerking on the little round table I sat behind. At one point, two of the cats sat next to me to hang out. At another point, they offered up vodka shots (alas wasted on my sober ass). It made for one hell of an immersive experience (which I could have done without, but I picked that seat to avoid climbing steps, so trade-off), and visually it's stunning. The choreography is a lot. I don't have much knowledge of ballroom culture beyond a rudimentary understanding (and I'm not a fan of drag, which is heavily based off that), but I can appreciate the physical feat. The cast is partially trained musical theatre performers and partially ballroom performers, and the divide is pretty damn stark. Which brings me into my main criticisms.

Dramaturgically, the "plot" they try to infuse with the police and the raid is...not great in execution. I don't think there would ever be a successful way to integrate a book into this musical. But we don't have time to get into all that.

Also, it's a really fucking rowdy kind of show with lots of screaming and hollering from the audience, which is appropriate given the show, so I won't shake my fist. However, I was prepared to be miserable when the first note blasted through the house and everyone was shrieking with glee over a projection of a "cat" shadow doing a dance. Why so excited for what was ultimately very dull projection work? But I digress.

Musically, the show falls apart. Unlike Sondheim, whose work is far more reliant on excellent actors who can carry a tune, ALW's scores call for the opposite. His music demands technically perfect singers and actual acting can fall by the wayside as long as the notes sound good. Without singers, the whole scaffolding collapses. ALW scores are not about lyrics or even storytelling. They're about the notes. And this cast, while doing phenomenal physical work, has maybe two or three excellent singers, and no, they aren't playing the roles you'd expect. When Bebe Nicole Simpson as Demeter finally gets to do something halfway through act two ("Macavity: The Mystery Cat"), her incredible voice is a breath of fresh air. Shereen Pimentel is carrying the whole damn team with her high notes. Everyone else is standard ability, or lower. The sound mixing heavily favors the beat, so lyrics are lost to the aether left right and center. Which, given how I feel about ALW, might have been a positive, except that the lyrics of Cats (thank you T.S. Elliott) were really the only good thing, and with the casual dismissal of them here, what's left?

"Memory" is lowered significantly, and you won't find any Betty Buckley brilliance here. I understand wanting to have a ballroom icon in this role from a dramaturgical perspective, but from a musical perspective, big mistake. It's not a dance track, so it needed to be a singer. The actor did manage to infuse passion into the role, so it wasn't a disaster, but it wasn't what it should have been. I may hate the original show, and the song itself, but even I feel transcendent when Betty Buckley hits that key change. That didn't happen here, and it was almost a little horrifying. Still, far from the worst vocal miss I've heard all year (looking at you...Lempicka...)

At the end of the day, it should be seen for the risky theatremaking feat alone. I've seen queer people singing its praises from Battery Park to Washington Heights, so it's got an audience. And as history shows, Cats doesn't need to be good to be commercially great.

Verdict: ALW Memorial Landfill

A Note on Ratings

You still can't gaslight me into liking an ALW show.