#/also may i have another opinion please? yes okay.. i am Kind Of Disappointed with how they did the ladies!!

[theinvisibledreamergirl]

Hopeless

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Klaw Craig)

Words count: >1.7k

Category: Angst

Warning: none

A.N: Well as per your request this is the awaited fic for you and maybe you didn’t expect it to be such this angsty. Let me know what do you think. This event starts after this post for everyone who’s not familiar with it.

———————————————————————

Klaw had never ran so fast in her life like now.

She had to do something.

Something to stop Simon from telling Dr. Ramsey about the Instagram photo she posted. And the reason?

Simple. After Dr. Ramsey admitted to her the infamous patient Mr. Nigel Platt- nothing went normal as she thought at first. Nigel had several symptoms that none of them concluded to a specific illness but leading to more questions than answers. Again this wasn’t the real problem.

Nigel’s attitude against her while questioning her abilities to handle this case, made her blood boiled despite she held a great poker face to him that everything seemed to go flowing. It was ironic this kind of situation happened again to her- when she confronted the mafia man Miles in her first day, the latter doing the same thing as Nigel. With all of her anger and frustration she blamed Dr. Ramsey for this and decided in a drunken state to create an emoji and to show off to people on Insta what an asshole he was. But when she got sobered like today, she was pleading that everyone would get it as joke and not something that should be taken seriously. Because it was a moment of anger okay? She didn’t know how to revenge to him because he was her attending after all. She couldn’t file a complaint to him. Right? After finishing this case she wanted to have a man to man talk and to understand why he assigned this kind of patient especially to her. Did she do anything wrong?

If yes, what?

Because of Dr. Banerji’s secret?

Her mind was fogged up with lots of questions while she was running in the halls of fifth floor- where his office was. When she turned the corner she bumped into nurse Sarah and apologised.

“Sarah do you know where’s Dr. Tennant?”

“Oh. I saw him with Dr. Ramsey while exiting the Diagnostics Office.”

“Shit.”

“Something wrong Dr. Craig?”

But Sarah didn’t have an answer as she saw the young intern run again. Klaw knew where the diagnostics was and her breath hitched when she saw the two doctors conversing with each other in such seriousness that made her shivering from fear. Then she saw Simon slipping from his white coat his phone and telling something to Ethan. But before that she lunged forward while shouting.

“STOP!”

Both attendees flinched when they heard her frantic voice and saw her raised hands while shaking. They frowned in confusion at her as the baritone voice asked.

“Dr. Craig what is this? Another stunt of yours?”

“No no please just hear me out because I know that I owe you an apology Dr. Ramsey.”

He raised a cold eyebrow. As always he would never change that reflex she thought. “Pray, tell.”

“Well... I think that you’re quite aware now what I’ve done so far and... I’m truly sorry for that. I mean... who in the world does the mockery of someone in social media that everyone starts to make fun of it? Me with a whiskey around yesterday decided to throw that thing but I fully regret it. So... I’m saying it again Dr. Ramsey that I’m sorry I posted that photo on Instagram and I promise to delete that immediately.”

“What’s that photo?” He asked in confusion while shaking his head. “Because I didn’t get this Rookie. Would you like to explain to me what the hell is even the Insane thing?”

“But weren’t you seeing it with Dr. Tennant right now? He was showing it to-”

“Uhm-” Simon cleared his throat. “Klaw, I was showing Ethan the tomography of our patient after we diagnosed him.” He turned his phone to her and immediately she wanted nothing more than to burn herself or hide somewhere because now she felt so screwed. “I wasn’t going to tell him y’know.” Then he snorted when he finally realised what her intention was.

“Excuse me, can someone right now tell me what in the hell is going on?” Ethan glared at them when he felt his anger building up seeing the interaction between these two and the fact that they were sharing a secret made him raged.

The young doctor gulped hardly when she lit up her phone, opened the app and showed it to her attending. But what made Ethan even more angry despite he was remaining calm all the time was the description she had written:

Ladies and gentlemen I present to you the icy blue-eyed Dr. Ethan Ramsey in his usual mood- killing the interns.

Even though it may sounded funny to someone’s else ears, he wasn’t killing anyone. Especially when he wanted to push her to be the best doctor and to learn by hard. But clearly to him, maybe it was a mistake for picking her so that was his final straw.

“My office.”

He gave her phone back while trailing off and Simon gave her an encouragement smile as if meaning that it was the usual one of the many Dr. Ramsey’s moods but for Klaw this was unusual.

Ethan didn’t even let the door open for her as he did always and slammed it forcefully in her face. And that was her final straw.

“What the fuck?!”

“Language Craig!”

“Do you even know moral codes or what?”

“I’m not going to learn from you because you clearly have absolutely no knowledge about them.”

“Are you really worried for such a stupid little thing? I told you I was drunk!”

“Do you really think that I care that much for an animated figure which clearly doesn’t represent me but just another stupid jokes of yours?”

“Well my jokes are better than your dryly and sophisticated ones.” He scoffed unbelievably, not seeing that his words were actually hurting her. “I want to be taken off the PITA’s case because in my opinion there’s nothing left for me to do with a man who doesn’t respect me as a doctor and doesn’t acknowledge my work showing his belligerency and rudeness.”

So that’s why she was angry at him. But that didn’t even make him change his mind. He wasn’t surprised to see her in this state of rage and for a mere of seconds he thought how cute she looked when she was serious and flushed. Ethan gave her an unamused smile, not interested in what she just said. “No.”

“I beg your pardon?” Her right pupil dilated slightly while she was frowning.

“You’ve had difficult patients before. Keep trying.”

His calmness was making her even more furious and before she could stop herself she came forward and slapped her hands in his desk, while facing him with a shaking breath. This of course caught him off guard and stood up from his chair doing the same as her.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“Why are you punishing me?”

I’m not punishing you. I would never do that.

“Or is my saying right- that you enjoy to kill interns and make us suffer huh? Do you enjoy that?”

“You need to keep your personal feelings separate from your professional feelings Dr. Craig.” She tried to reply but was cut off. “I’d think very carefully before you say something to embarrass yourself.”

“Then why have you selected me this patient? For what reason?!”

“To challenge you, to push you to be the best doctor you can be! Don’t you get it already?”

Despite the closed door their voices could be heard loud and clear from outside. Their faces were in a close proximity without breaking their gazes to each other. Icy blue could see in dark fiery browns the embarrassment and the astonishment when she received his words. She understood now. It was never about Naveen’s secret that they were sharing. It was about her development that even after all of this he still thought of her.

For her best.

As a real attending should.

He sat on his chair with his crossed arms whereas she backed off a bit from his desk only to hear disappointment from him.

“When I make my evaluations every year... every intern that I’ve chosen were the best amongst the best and for that-” he flickered his eyes to her again with the coldest expression on his face that she had ever seen and shivered. “- I believed I saw a potential in you. It’s very rare that I’m wrong Rookie. But I’m willing to admit when I am... and I think I might have been wrong about you.”

The final words left her not only speechless but also breathtaking. She couldn’t feel her lungs  as if everything stopped in that moment. Her heartbeats were giving her aches in her chest as she stared right back into his eyes- regret and pain. Ethan Ramsey regretted his intern right in front of her just like a slap in her face. That was the final cue from him that she wasn’t the best intern he had thought because this intern (she) had let him down.

Klaw shifted her left shoulder and broke eye contact with him while Ethan quirked sadly his mouth knowing her fully well anytime she got that nervousness. He got used to her and he hoped that these words would encourage to be better or otherwise- worse than now.

Deeply ashamed she couldn’t say another word and left his office without glancing back. She was determined to solve that case whatever that brat had and to prove once again that Dr. Craig or Rookie was the best intern he had chosen for the program.

Ethan sighed heavily when he opened his drawer to reveal her file that was the first of many others and stared down at her CV photograph that showed- bravery.

“You can do this Klaw.” He whispered to himself and for the first time he said her name which in Ethan’s horror wasn’t something good. He closed the file with a thud and put it back on his drawer while getting up from his chair to take a look in the window. He could feel his heartbeats quickening when he saw Klaw leaving with his patient Kyra who was trying to console her. At least she had friends to look after her.

Stop it Ethan. Stop thinking about her.

Reluctantly he pulled away from the window to busy himself with other important tasks so he would forget about piercing brown eyes.

[padawanlost]

I still, up until this day, have no idea why the council held such a personal dislike towards anakin. Aside from the “he’s too young” or “he feels too deeply.” Didn’t anakin try to follow the rules? Unpopular opinion, but the fandom tends to drag how Anakin was the embodiment of rebellious and recklessness at every turn but... he’s really not?

The Council’s behavior around Anakin had NOTHING to do with who he was as a person. Just like Obi-wan’s ‘pathetic life-form’ dismiss, the Council’s rejection of Anakin happened before they even knew what he was. People use Yoda’s ‘fear is the path to dark side’ speech to validate de Council’s decision but the truth is that they had already dismissed Anakin before that. and even if they hadn’t, it baffles me how some people have no trouble with how a 9 years old child was treated. Anyone who looks at 9 years old and gives up on them because ‘they don’t like a good person’ or that they are ‘beyond helping’ is an asshole. The audience may know, but at that point not a single character knew what would become of Anakin. 

Like Anakin, I was well past infancy when I began my training at the Jedi Temple. There was much concern about whether I was too old to learn the ways of the Force, that my Cerean childhood might cloud my judgments, but … I am not certain of how to express myself. My mind tells me I should feel empathy for Anakin, but my instinct tells me something else. [Ki-Adi-Mundi in Ryder’s Windham’s Jedi vs. Sith: The Essential Guide to the Force]

What disturbs me most of all is Anakin Skywalker himself. It is not in my nature to make assumptions about anyone based on appearance, and yet I find it almost alarming that the boy looks so entirely unremarkable. If I didn’t know better, I would have dismissed him as a harmless raga-muffin. [Ki-Adi-Mundi in Ryder’s Windham’s Jedi vs. Sith: The Essential Guide to the Force]

This is cruel. A raga-muffin is defined as ‘a poorly clothed often dirty child’. They recognize Anakin’s extreme situation, they know he was a former slavery who had just been separated from his mother but their reaction is: ‘I don’t trust him’. a bunch of grown men treat a poor, traumatized child coldly because they don’t trust HIM. Is that the wisdom I am supposed to blindly admire and defend? The one that dismiss everyone who doesn’t fit in? No, thanks.

There was no sympathy for Anakin.

Inside, Anakin Skywalker faced the Jedi Council, standing in the same place Qui-Gon Jinn had stood some hours earlier. He was nervous at first, brought into the chamber by Qui-Gon, then left alone with the twelve members of the Council. Standing in the mosaic circle and ringed by the silent assemblage, awestruck and uncertain of what was expected of him, he felt vulnerable and exposed. The eyes of the Jedi were distant as they viewed him, but he sensed they were looking not past him, but inside. They began to question him then, without preliminary introductions or explanations, without expending any effort at all to make him feel comfortable or welcome. He knew some of them by name, for Qui-Gon had described a few, and he was quick to put faces to names. They questioned him at great length, testing memory and knowledge, seeking insights at which he could only guess. They knew of his existence as a slave. They knew of his background on Tatooine, of his mother and his friends, of his Podracing, of Watto, of everything factual and past, of the order of his life.  [Terry Brooks. The Phantom Menace]

And yet, Anakin tried so hard to fit in. This super rebellious, ‘fuck you, council’ Anakin the fandom uses to justify the Council’s behavior only exists in the clones wars (2008). Yes, Anakin have always broken rules and had difficulties acting as the perfect Jedi but he never openly defied the Council. If you watch the movies it becomes obvious that Anakin always submitted to them (even when he didn’t like). His greatest defiance (his marriage to Padmé) shouldn’t count as justification for the Council’s behavior because they found out the truth. 

Anakin was submissive. The only time openly challenged the Council to the their face was when they denied the rank of Master and we we all know how that short-lived:

Most of the time, Anakin was really insecure. When he was growing up he desperately needed Obi-wan’s approval. Later he needed Padmé’s support to go after Shmi and later Obi-wan. 

[Padmé] put the cup down on the small table beside her. “Even though you’re concerned for Anakin—and I know you are, so don’t bother with the stoic-Jedi act—I imagine you’re not very pleased with him right now. But you should know, Obi-Wan, he did not disobey his orders lightly.” Startled, he stared at her. Then he pulled a wry face. “Which time do you mean? When he left Naboo for Tatooine, or Tatooine for Geonosis?” “Both times. Obi-Wan, no matter what you might think, he takes being a Jedi very seriously. It’s all he talks about. Being a Jedi, and not disappointing you. He—” [Karen Miller. Star Wars: The Clone Wars: Wild Space]

He was the Chosen One, they told him. He was supposed to bring balance to the Force. Anakin thought that some little extra support might go with being the Chosen One, a helping hand or at least some understanding from the Jedi Council, but instead he was passed around like an unwelcome burden, ending up with Qui-Gon Jinn and then Kenobi because nobody else would have him. His chosen status meant less than nothing; it felt more like a stigma. And they wondered why he was difficult at times. Maybe they didn’t want balance, whatever that was. Maybe nobody liked a Jedi who was that different. He felt like an embarrassment to them. I do everything you ask of me. I try so hard. When is it going to be enough? When are you going to say, “Okay, Anakin Skywalker, you’re good enough”? Karen Traviss’s The Clone Wars

And even if he hadn’t been, NOTHING justifies the treatment he got as a little child because you cannot use something that didn’t happen as a reason. In real life, if someone mistreats a kid because they fear the kid might grow up to be a criminal it would be considered abuse. But because it’s Anakin – the butt of every joke – the cold treatment Anakin receives as child is somehow a beautiful example of the Council’s compassion and forethought. 

It’s kind of funny. I mean, if the Council was right to treat a 9 years with disdain because the kid was going to grow up to be evil I wonder how fans justify Yoda admiring Papatine – an actual Sith Lord – for years?

The Jedi were sworn to uphold the Republic and protect its ideals, not entangle themselves in the fortunes of any one Chancellor. Political careers were not their affair. Personalities were supposed to be irrelevant. But somehow Palpatine was changing that. Not by being a bully or imposing his will. Quite the opposite: he was constantly resisting the Senate’s eagerness for him to assume more and more executive powers. He resisted, the Senate insisted, so reluctantly Palpatine agreed. And every time he acquiesced to its requests, he turned once more to the Jedi for advice. It was hardly an ideal situation. The Jedi Council was not just another branch of the executive office. But how, in good conscience, could it refuse to aid a man who so humbly petitioned for their assistance? A man who championed them in the Senate at every opportunity? Who had worked tirelessly for peace since assuming the highest political office in the galaxy and was now faced with the daunting, terrifying task of keeping their vast Republic intact? How could the Jedi Council turn its back on such a man? Clearly, it couldn’t. Clearly, in the face of these extraordinary times, the Jedi must set aside their traditions and come to the aid of the man a galaxy looked to as its savior. [Karen Miller. Star Wars: The Clone Wars: Wild Space]

Somehow, I guess it’s okay to treat 9 years old Anakin poorly because he *might* be evil at the same it’s also okay to treat a sith lord with the uttermost respect and bending the rules to accommodate him because he *is* evil but they don’t know it yet ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

So, this is not just about Anakin and how the fandom has a lot of trouble sympathizing with him. This is also about how the fandom fails to recognize the Council’s shortcomings.

Not to quote Filoni again but...”I’ve always felt that one of Anakin’s downfalls, like it’s never that Anakin was innately going to be evil, but the people around him, the Jedi, in their lack of compassion, in being so selfless that they almost forgot to care.” 

[pompompurin1028]

Ok, I just finished "The Setting Sun" and wow I may have read a little too fast towards the end because I was so excited and eager to finish but I'm very much in awe of the whole novel. I hope you don't mind if I just put down my thoughts about it :')

Ig I should put a SPOILER WARNING and obviously, there's:

TW: Mentions of suicide

First off, my opinions of the main cast:

I honestly had very neutral feelings towards Naoji in the beginning but shortly after his suicide and his note to Kazuko I felt that I understood him a lot more. Maybe it was partly because the story took place in Kazuko's POV that I had a more discontented viewpoint of him but afterward I felt I understood him more as a person.

With Kazuko, I personally liked her character and the fact that she didn't seem like she was written to be the "perfect woman" like I've seen in some novels. She has flaws and I think her love for her mother is something I found interesting. Although towards the end, I felt that her love for Mr. Uehara sort of anchored her down.

Kazuko and Naoji's Mother was honestly my favorite character of the whole series. I adored her from start to finish. All the way from when she was first introduced she had a sophisticated and genuinely kind aura and when she died I honestly felt a little part of me die as well, haha. But her last line in the book: "It must have been a terrible rush for you" pulled my heartstrings a lot.

Secondly, I just wanted to ramble about some of my favorite quotes from the book lol

The first quote I highlighted was a line Kazuko says: "...The ones who die are always the gentle, sweet, and beautiful people." Which honestly felt so Dazai-like. In both the case of Dazai-sensei and the BSD version of him. There were so many times I wondered if it was the character speaking or Dazai-sensei himself adding himself into the character.

Another one I liked was "I wonder how it would be if I let go and yielded myself to depravity." I don't really have a comment on it, I just sort of liked it lol.

I highlighted so many in all honesty but I also wanted to point out this one: "The dying are beautiful, but to live, to survive--those things somehow seem hideous and contaminated with blood." Again, it just seemed so beautifully raw and just something I envision BSD Dazai saying and believing as well.

In Naoji's suicide note I almost felt as though it was coming from not just him but from Dazai-sensei as well. Which I'm beginning to see is a recurring pattern in the novel. In particular, this one line stood out to me: "Why must I go on living after what has happened? It's useless. I am going to die. I have a poison that kills without pain. I got it when I was a soldier and have kept it ever since."

I loved the Snake Metaphors(?) throughout the story. And especially Kazuko and Naoji's POV of their mother and how they call her "the last lady of Japan" I think they truly honor her and it's interesting to see such two somewhat lost and "tainted" characters almost obsess over this "light" and genuinely kind woman they hold in such high regard. It almost reminds me of BSD Dazai's opinion of Odasaku or even Atsushi.

That's mostly it- I just really wanted to talk about those things and overall I loved it a lot. It's been a while since I've been so absorbed in a book so reading it felt very relaxing and at the same time so riveting. I hope you don't mind me popping into your inbox and chattering on about this :')

Okay, before I begin, Ariel please don't apologize for putting down your thoughts here. I love discussing Dazai-sensei's novels, and I can't even begin to express how giddy, excited and overjoyed I am to receive this ask of yours. And please if you would ever like to discuss more of his works, feel free to chat with me as well, via asks or on discord it doesn't matter😭❤, I'm always down for it. And this whole thing is me rambling over this so please bear with me haha.

And, I want to say, I was extremely eager to read and finish the novel as well as I continued on reading. It is strangely alluring and compelling. And honestly, I tend to be in awe of Dazai-sensei's thoughts and writing as well😫💕.

Okay, so before I begin to address your thoughts on the novel. Let me write down some background information on the novel to hopefully give you maybe a better understanding of it and Dazai-sensei as well?

The book was published in 1947, not long after the end of the Second World War which ended in 1945. The book in general talks about the state of Japan after the Second World War, and the decline of the aristocracy that came with it. (It should be noted that Dazai-sensei came from an aristocratic background as well, but he also seems to have a sense of shame towards it). The title of the book is literally a metaphor for the decline of Japan. Japan is often known as the "land of the rising Sun", and therefore "The Setting Sun" as the title is fitting for this theme.

And well, this defeat created according to here (an article written in Chinese unfortunately😥) caused a great change in moral values in the Japanese society, which caused an uproar for democracy. Dazai-sensei, however, was quite critical of this, as he sees this as a sign that the Japanese do not feel any guilt or remorse for their actions in the war that took place. (From what I've read Dazai-sensei in his works is very much known for his sense, albeit unusual for Japanese writers from what I read, of guilt, remorse and in a sense seeking for atonement, in one of his prose he even wrote that he writes literature for "remorse, confession and reflection" [my translation from my native language]).

Also, it should be noted that The Setting Sun is also deeply inspired by a diary written by one of Dazai-sensei's lovers (especially chapters 1 to 5 I believe). However, Dazai-sensei himself is best known for his I-novels and their semi-biographical elements. In one of his short stories, or prose in his book I am reading, he confesses that he cannot write things he doesn't know or hadn't felt for himself...

Now onto your thoughts on the novel!

Naoji, I honestly felt the same about him at first, but the more I dove into the novel, especially in the chapters Moonflowers and his note to Kuzuko, I felt more connected to him. And when I read the novel I felt as though Dazai-sensei had actually reflected a part of himself in Naoji, and I read something from what @/bsd-bibliophile had said which confirmed that perhaps Naoji was in a sense an extension of Dazai-sensei himself. (Same for Mr. Uehara I should note, who is also an extension of Dazai-sensei, which I had also noted as well when reading the novel).

And yes! I loved Kuzuko as well, and I have to agree with your statement about her love for Mr. Uehara. I was somewhat disappointed with that as well. But I actually had just been reading on something today which is a bit interesting. However, I do not know enough on the topic yet, nor am I entirely confident at myself explaining it at the moment, but I will talk about it briefly down here.

CW Religious Mentions [Christianity] (Feel free to skip if it makes you uncomfortable <3 For this is simply for literature analysis uses)

Before I begin, I should note that Dazai-sensei is by no means a "religious person", many scholars do not believe so either. It was mentioned in a paper that he even holds a critical view of the Church. However, Dazai-sensei commonly mentions the Bible in well the prose of his that I am currently reading (which brought me to research this topic). It was written in some papers that I am reading that he simply understood the Bible through his own means and not what the Church says (perhaps he sees it as a piece of literature as well in a sense...). Some papers say that he formed his unique views of the need to find "atonement" for his own guilt due to this, which some say is not often seen in Japanese authors.

I'm getting off-topic, but what I'm trying to say is that some scholars say that that action by Kuzuko might've been an allusion in a sense. But what the paper was trying to say was that it was meant to be something powerful? But, personally, I'm not sure what I think of it, it might be a bit far-fetched. But I just wanted to make a note of it.

End of CW

And yes! I do agree I loved their mother as well. I loved how genuine and kind she was. I think she is my favourite too, but she also acted as a form of symbolism for the theme of the novel I believe, which I will talk about briefly later on.

"...The ones who die are always the gentle, sweet, and beautiful people."

I really liked this quote too actually! And yes, I can definitely see Dazai-sensei saying this... It is hard to tell which part is him confessing, but most of his work tends to have elements of his own feelings and thoughts. Personally, I think it might be Dazai-sensei himself speaking... But I'm not sure, but it should be noted that Dazai-sensei held the concept of "tenderness" in high esteem (other people have also mentioned it here).

And honestly, I get what you mean when you say you don't know what to say about it haha. Sometimes authors just put sentences and words together so beautifully.

And yes, I definitely understand that! I felt that as well, and as I said, Dazai-sensei seems to have put elements of himself into Naoji...

And ahh the snake metaphor! I read on it a bit before, and some say that it might've been symbolizing the decline of Japan/the aristocracy. And the use of the term "the last lady of Japan" seems to symbolize the fall of the old traditions of Japan. It had seemed to me that their mother was a symbol of the "old Japan" that had fallen after the war.

And yes, they do hold her in very high esteem! I wrote that in my analysis as well before! From what I have read, Dazai-sensei does seem to hold such people highly, especially those that are honest and genuine it seems. And yes, exactly, it reminds me of BSD Dazai as well T^T.

And please, thank you for coming over to chat with me about it haha. You could probably tell by how long this is how excited I am about such topics😅. Don't hesitate to come by if you want to chat more! And I'm also really glad that you liked the book as well <33

[gladerwolfstarkimagines]

Azula x female reader series: Part 5

On Azula’s orders you grow closer to Zuko through a way you’d never expected. This causes you and Zuko to develop a friendship but not everyone trusts that’s all it is...Mai and Azula included. 

Tag list: @saucy-sapphic​ @justastranger-passing​ @azulasprincess​ @888-rising​@sighsam @theblueslytherin

Part One here

Part Two here

Part Three here

Part Four here

Part Six here

Your POV

You were late to your morning duties and hurried to Zuko’s room but weren’t really nervous about explaining yourself. With your new visits from Azula every few days you’d been kept occupied and had fallen out of your usual impecable standard of work, meaning you’d been late to serve Zuko a lot lately but he never seemed to mind. The guards let you pass automatically and you knocked before Zuko called for you to enter. Other servants were inside helping Zuko get ready for the day and they shot you glares as you showed up late again but Zuko just nodded to you absentmindedly. The servants pestered Zuko with offers of luxurious items that even you in your brief time serving him knew he would refuse. Zuko eventually got irritated and snapped for all the servants to leave the room. You paused halfway though changing his bedding and Zuko noticed “you can carry on y/n”. The servants glared at you again and you didn’t blame them between Azula installing luxury items servants could only dream of in your room and Zuko letting you come and go as you pleased the royal family were definitely spoiling you. The servants left abruptly and Zuko sighed running a hand through his hair, he looked stressed you noticed and made a note to tell Azula that later. Zuko walked to his fire place and pushed one of the dwindling logs further into the fire. Aware it was your job to make the fire you felt guilty and rushed to take over but Zuko hadn’t heard you walk up behind him. He turned, the log still burning as he held it in the tongs and pushed it straight into you. Instinctively you flinched and pushed your arms infront to shield your body, fire shot out of your palms and pushed the log away. It fell to the floor as Zuko stepped back in shock and your fire englufed the wood. You gasped and rushed to put out the fire using a nearby blanket and patted it until the fire was out. You coughed at the smoke and threw open a window, turning back around to find a very confused Zuko staring at you. "You can fire bend?" Zuko asked amazed “none of the servants ever can”. Ozai hadn’t wanted servants to ever be a threat or even equals so never hired any that could firebend to keep the power balance. You drew your hands behind your back and looked down "I’m sorry Prince Zuko, I never use them and I only did it then by mistake, please don’t tell your father!". Zuko frowned at that request, something about it sounded weird to him...why was your first though Ozai? If you were wary of disappointing anyone it was surely Azula, but if you weren’t worried about him telling her then that must mean... "Azula already knows?" Zuko asked as it fit into place in his head. Your eyes widened and Zuko knew it was true. "She doesn’t" you cried but Zuko knew you were lying. "She knew and she kept it from my father? She protected you?" Zuko asked. You stammered trying to protect Azula "she doesn’t know! How would she know? Why would she protect me?". Zuko looked at you and saw the worry in your eyes "don’t worry I won’t tell my father or Azula i know". You frowned not believing him, why wouldn’t he use this to ruin Azula? Why would he protect his sister when he never bothered before? You had to get to Azula and tell her your mistake, you needed to get out of here before Zuko could do too much damage. You just had to come up with an excuse...

“Your uniform’s all burnt” Zuko commented seeing how nervous and jittery you looked “why don’t you go change and then come back and carry on your jobs?”. You narrowed your eyes trying to figure out Zuko’s motive, you didn’t trust him.  He was surely getting you out of the way so he could go to Ozai but if he let you leave you could go to Azula, if you hurried she might not have even left for her meeting with Ozai. You bowed to Zuko “thank you Prince Zuko that is most kind” and hurried from the room.  

You reached Azula’s room minutes later and strangely found no guards, you knocked on the door and heard Azula yell a response. That explained the lack of guards around, they usually all cleared out when Azula was in a mood. She didn’t look up as you entered and just started giving orders meant for whoever she was expecting. She turned as you didn’t reply and her eyes widenned “y/n what are you...are those scorch marks?” she asked her angry expression gone as she inspected you. “What happened? Are you hurt...did Zuko...?” she asked stepping towards you. “No” you said shaking your head “but Azula I’ve messed up!”. You rushed into your explanation shaking with the thought you’d endangered Azula’s life and how disappointed she’d be in you. She let you talk without interuption and when you finished you waited for her to yell at you but all she did was frown at you “sit down y/n you’re shaking”. You stared as she tugged you towards a chair and eased you into it “you’re not mad?”. Azula shook her head “no but I am touched you were so worried at the thought of Zuko turning my father against me” she smirked “but you need not worry, my brother won’t go to my father with this”. You gaped “but how can you be so sure?”. Azula smiled sitting next to you “because I know my brother, he doesn’t have the stomach for manipulation and also telling my father would get you banished or worse...Zuko wouldn’t do that to you” Azula told you and you stared still not believing Zuko wouldn’t take this opportuinity. “And he knows I wouldn’t let him blackmail either of us” Azula carried on placing a hand on your arm “he knows he can’t touch you or he’d have to deal with me”. Your cheeks flushed at that and Azula smiled “you’re allied with me y/n, Zuko won’t dare try and harm you”. You smiled at that, lost for words and Azula grinned “now I must be going y/n but have I eased your mind?”. You started to nod before pausing “but now Zuko suspects we’re allied as you put it, he won’t trust me will he?”. Azula’s smile fell and she nodded “I suppose so, he will correctly suspect you are loyal to me and not tell you a thing” Azula sighed and you felt awful, if only you’d been more careful, now you’d ruined Azula’s plan. “Still” Azula shrugged “there’s other ways to manipulate my brother, you should know me well enough by now to know I’ve always got a plan B” Azula grinned and you nodded “of course! what can i do to help?”. “well actually my plan doesn’t involve you” Azula explained and you frowned feeling disappointed, as if you’d failed Azula and now she couldn’t rely on you. Azula saw this all on your face and her eyes softenned “but that doesn’t mean I don’t have use of you” Azula smiled gently “You working for Zuko will still give you access to information I can’t get...not to mention working for my brother keeps you in the palace, close to me if I should..need you”. You smiled at that “of course Azula I’m always here if you need me” and she smiled too, her cheeks slightly flushed “yes I know” she nodded and you looked away so she wouldn’t feel embarassed. “Now are you ready to go back to Zuko?” Azula asked helping you to stand and you nodded “yes”.  “Good” Azula said “I will go out first and ensure the coridoor is empty then you will follow” Azula told you “yes?”. You nodded and Azula smiled “good, I will see you tomorrow night” she said with a small smirk and left.                                                                                           You stayed waiting for Azula to get a head start and thought about what had happened. You couldn’t believe Azula had been so calm and understanding with all this, she hadn’t blamed you at all. Still you couldn’t help feeling guilty for ruining her plan, you wanted to be useful for her, to be someone she could rely on for tasks. Perhaps you could find a way to salvage this somehow? Make Zuko still trust you and then Azula wouldn’t have to try a whole new plan...yes someway or another you’d do this for Azula.

Later that day

You managed to avoid Zuko all day until it came to preparing his room for the night. Zuko entered and you jumped suprised, he was early for some reason. You had hoped to be done with your duties by the time he arrived so you could be dismissed swiftly. Instead Zuko spotted you and approached “y/n may we speak?”. You cringed inwardly but nodded bowing “of course Prince Zuko”. “I know you went to see Azula after what happened here...one of your colleagues told me you didn’t go to your room until a while after I dismissed you”. You cursed inwardly and tried to think of a way to explain it but Zuko smiled “it is okay y/n you don’t need to be afraid, I get it you just wanted to warm Azula, yes?”. You nodded your head softly and Zuko nodded “I undestand y/n, my sister can be...difficult I’m sure it hasn’t been easy for you, having Azula blackamail you with this for years”. Your body jerked and you stared at Zuko “I’m sorry?”. “I take it she’s been blackmailing you with this? Threatening to tell my father you are a firebender if you don’t do as she says?” Zuko asked “that’s why you’ve always been so loyal to her”. Anger surged through you at the opinion Zuko had of Azula, you knew it wasn’t completely unwarranted but still it was false and insulting! Azula had never threatenned you with blackmail, she didn’t have to use deception to make everyone follow her, some people were loyal to her because they trusted her, because they saw what others ignored, how vulnerable and scared she was. How she was just an object to Ozai, a fire bending prodogy but not a daughter. How she feared what would happen once she was no longer any use to her father. You were wrestling with yelling all this at the Prince when an idea formed in your head, if Zuko believed Azula mistreated you then you could use that. You could play the damaged servant, terrified of her who need a prince like Zuko to save her. You could fuel Zuko’s beliefs about Azula and use that to grow close to him, all the while using Zuko’s own misconceptions to spy on him and report back to Azula.                                You smiled inwardly, Azula was rubbing off on you. This was a good plan and you knew due to the dynamic between Zuko and Azula it would work. You hid your excitment and hung your head “I cannot talk about it, please don’t make me!”. “It’s okay” Zuko rushed to reassure you “you don’t have to admit it but y/n you’re my maid now you know she can’t hurt you now don’t you? You don’t have to be obedient to her anymore”. You shot Zuko a questioning look at how stupid that sounded, you knew what Azula was capable of she could get to anyone if she had to and Zuko would not get in her way. He was royally underestimating her. Zuko took your stare as you being scared and frowned “sorry that was probably coming on a bit strong, I know you can’t hope to trust me so quickly after all Azula’s done to you y/n but I hope in time you will grow to trust me”. Zuko smiled softly and you nodded back at him “thank you Prince Zuko, I hope so too”. Zuko grinned and you carried on with your jobs.

Zuko apparently meant to make you trust him and your plan was working perfectly. Zuko saw you as such a pity case he let down his guard with you not ever imagining you as a threat. It pleased you your plan was working so well but also left you feeling conflicted. You’d always thought Zuko was a self absorbed entitled Prince and in many ways he was but he was also kind and generous to you. You were made most aware of this when one night he too made you an offer. "How good are you?" Zuko asked you suddenly and when he saw your confusion he elaborated "at fire bending I mean?”. "Not very good” you shrugged and Zuko frowned “you never practised?”. You shook your head “I only realised i could do it when I was 9 but by then I was working in the palace” you explained as Zuko nodded for you to go on. “I had no money to learn to use them at a school and a good job here so I just hid them” you shrugged “I never use them I promise". Zuko sat up “it’s okay y/n I believe you, I only ask because I wonder well...would you like to learn to use them?" Zuko asked and you stared at him. "I can’t I’d lose my job" but Zuko shook his head "not if I helped you and didn’t tell anyone". You frowned "but i...why would you want to help me, I can’t offer you anything". “That’s okay I don’t want anything” Zuko explained and you narrowed your eyes “so you want to help me just because?” not believing him “you don’t expect anything in return?”. Zuko noticed how guarded your body language had become and hurried to explain "no of course not! I just offer because well it’d be something to do, to take my mind of things and I’ve always taken pride in my bending so for someone to have it but not be able to learn, I want to help". You frowned and Zuko saw your mind ticking away trying to calculate what he wanted. After exhausting all the possabilities you had to believe he was telling the truth and actually did just want to help you. You could only see this would make Zuko grow closer to you and so you nodded raising your eyes to look at Zuko “I...I would like to learn”. Zuko smiled widely “Great! We will start tomorrow, I will rent a training room and sneak you in”. You smiled at the excitment in his voice before realising what you were doing and again felt conflicted. You were only doing this for Azula you reminded yourself, Zuko was not your friend you told yourself but it was getting harder for you to believe that, Zuko was rubbing off on you too.  

3 weeks later

Azula’s POV

"Where's Zuko?" Ty lee asked Mai and Azula saw the girl grip her fork harder. "He's training" Mai explained and Ty lee frowned "now? Isn't that an odd time to..." Azula hit her arm and Ty lee frowned "ow Azula why did you do that?" she asked before seeing Mai’s reaction "never mind". Mai had been more strained than usual and Azula knew it was because Mai had heard the rumours the servants whispered about you and Zuko. If Azula didn't know they were all false she too would've been angry but she trusted you. She knew while most of the servants figured you and Zuko disappeared to be “alone” Zuko actually took you somewhere private enough you could practice firebending without worrying about being caught. To everyone else though it looked like Zuko was sneaking around with you and using the excuse of training. Azula knew what everyone thought was going on between you and Zuko and hated to admit it but it was a good cover, so she fuelled the rumours. She hated spreading the lies the two of you were involved but knew it would draw Zuko closer to you and further away from Mai. All she needed now was for Mai to dump Zuko and who would he turn to? You. There were voices in Azula's mind that whispered doubts though. What if you chose Zuko over her like almost everyone had? What if this act was working two ways and Zuko was winning you over? What if Zuko did try something with you...what would you do? The very thought made Azula furious, for once she just wanted someone to pick her over Zuko and not just because she was a weapon. She wanted to be chosen because she was valued and wanted. Azula saw Mai's sad expression and suddenly felt a twinge of guilt, Mai didn't know Azula was behind all this or that Azula knew exactly how she felt. She didn’t want to use you to get to Zuko but she knew he had something planned and she had to find out what it was. So Azula mentally dusted herself off and turned back to Mai and Ty Lee "so guess what happened to those Kyoshi warriors..." she changed the topic.

Your POV

When you returned to your room after training you wanted nothing more than to have a nice bath and then have a long sleep but waiting for you was Azula. Despite the fact you knew this meant you calm evening was gone you didn’t care, you grinned at her “Princess” you bowed and she rolled her eyes. “Shut up” she replied coming to stand across from you. “I thought you were coming tomorrow?” you asked and Azula shrugged “well I was but I changed my mind? Can I not drop in and see you whenever I want to?”. You could tell Azula was annoyed by your comment and noticed she seemed unsure of herself and agitated in your presence. You reminded yourself just because she eminated confidence didn’t mean she wasn’t vulnerable. “Of course you can” you replied “I just wished I’d have known so I wouldn’t be such a mess when you saw me” you said gesturing to your sweaty uniform and Azula smiled slightly. “And so I didn’t keep you waiting, I know you hate waiting” you smiled taking her hand. Azula let you and looked up at you “yes I don’t but well...I suppose it wasn’t too long and it was for you so...”. Your lips curved into a grin and Azula tried to act annoyed but a smile broke through “besides you still don’t look that bad” Azula shrugged “you smell a bit though”. “Nothing a bath won’t fix?” you asked Azula with a smirk. You’d noticed you’d grown more confident and bold with Azula but the weeks you’d spent with her did that to you. When you fall for someone you don’t act rationally and you’d fallen hard for the Fire Princess. Azula didn’t seem to mind your forwardness and simply smiled nodding “that can be arranged”.

Azula’s POV

Following the bath, dressed and reclining against your pillows together Azula asked you about Zuko. It was strange, it was the whole reason for her sending you here but now asking about what you’d found out was the worst part of Azula’s day. She didn’t get much time with you and she resented spending it talking about her brother of all people. You explained how your training was steadily increasing Zuko’s trust in you, how he was giving you more freedom and treating you like a friend. Azula frowned seeing how you seemed to describe the events with delicacy, almost like you didn’t know how you felt. The self doubt knotted in Azula’s stomach as she tried to hide the panic she felt, the worry you’d leave her for Zuko. That you prefered him now. You must’ve sensed this as you grabbed Azula’s arm and made her look up at you. “Your plan's working” you told Azula “soon I’m sure I’ll know his secrets and then I will be done with him”. Azula smiled at that hope momentarily restored and she noddeed “I look forward to that day”. You smiled and leant your head against her shoulder. Azula wrapped an arm around you and you leant into her properly. Silence fell and a yawn escaped from you. “Sorry” you told Azula but she smiled “it’s fine, I know you’re tired, I will leave..”. Azula went to stand but you grabbed her hand “I mean..you don’t have to, you could stay here if you want?”. Azula looked over you and felt an excited nervous feeling in her stomach as she smiled and nodded shyly. You got into the quilt and Azula joined you cautiously. You shot her a smile and Azula felt the warm feeling in her stomach again and moved closer to you. “I’ll have to be gone early” Azula told you “probably before you wake up” Azula explained and you nodded “that’s okay”. Your eyes looked so bright and happy they made Azula smiled and she cupped your cheek bringing your lips to her. Azula kissed you softly and smiled “good, well goodnight then y/n”. “Goodnight Azula” you smiled, Azula didn’t move away and kept her proximity to you, wrapping an arm around you. You settled against her, almost grinning at the fact Azula was a cuddler and closed your eyes. You were asleep in mere minutes but Azula couldn’t sleep so easily. She stared at the ceiling trying to figure out why she had this bad feeling in her stomach, was there something you weren’t telling her about Zuko? Could she really trust you? Could she trust anyone where her brother was concerned? Azula wasn’t sure and it made her feel so inadequate. You shifted in your sleep resting your head in the crook of her neck and Azula smiled despite her troubling thoughts. She’d fallen for you too she realised, she didn’t even lie to herself anymore, she liked you a lot. More than she’d ever liked anyone and that made her feel happy. Happier then she ever remembered feeling! But it also meant for this to work she had to trust you, if she couldn’t trust you who could she trust? Azula sighed and closed her eyes leaning into you, you wouldn’t betray her. She knew you wouldn’t...would you?  

---

Okay so I wanted to clarify I don’t despise Zuko or agree with manipulating him like the reader does! I am however biased to Azula though and do think Zuko is seen from a very one-sided perspective by many so wanted to write something where Zuko wasn’t the typical good guy and Azula wasn’t just a bad mean villan. That being said this was hard to write because I tried to show Azula’s perspective of Zuko and vice versa and how the readers caught up between their both inaccurate views of one another. I totally get why Zuko and Azula dislike each other and agree their reasons are justified but I just wish in the show they had someone to show them they both have good in them (especially for Azula who is always stereotyped as an insane psycho by literally everyone and not recognised as an abuse victim like Zuko).

So rant over! Amongst all this angst and drama Zuko acting kind and Azula trusting someone felt so great to write! I’ve decided Azula being loved up (and of course being the big spoon) is one of my favourite things in the world!!

Thanks again!!! Next part is the last one in the series!

[dehydratedpool]

hello again!! it’s the beginning of a new month, meaning a new fic rec post!! here are some fics that i read this month that are just... exquisite and deserve all the love and attention <3 

there aren’t as many as last time unfortunately, since i was quite busy this past month, but i promise next month won’t fall short! ((fics that i’ve reread this month are indicated with a **))

Foolishly Laying Our Hearts On The Table [11k] by runaway_train @runaway-train-works 

“You think Harry wants that?”

“Dunno. Maybe. Wanna make him happy.” Harry takes advantage of the red light he’s pulled up to turn and look properly at Louis’ face. He’s not even looking in Harry’s direction though, focused instead on something out of his side window, head drooped, mindlessly playing with the string of his hoodie between his fingers, lost in his own world somewhere. For some reason, it makes Harry’s spine straighten.

“Because he’s your best mate?” Harry questions carefully.

“He’s my boyfriend.”

He couldn’t have heard him right. “What?”

Louis releases a deep breath, still not turning around. Harry wonders who he thinks he’s talking to right now. “He’s so pretty. Want to kiss him all day long. And buy him a big house and give him presents and marry him.”

Or; The one where Harry is in love with his best friend Louis but doesn't think he stands a chance until some wisdom teeth and a rather unusual confession might just change his mind.

--> this is a new comfort fic for me tbh. i got rec’d this after louis tweeted about getting his wisdom teeth removed, and i’m so SO glad i decided to give it a read. it’s so precious and lovely and personally, i found it to be a quick read. it’s the kind of fic that makes me both warm and fuzzy inside but also highly upset that i’m single and will surely be alone forever

Just Let Me [14k] by HelloAmHere 

The party was going well. So well, Niall had already sworn undying love to one multi-tiered chocolate cake, two friendly corgi-poodle mixes, Zayn’s hair, and the entire population of Los Angeles. So well, Zayn had only laughed and ruffled Niall’s hair and not even twitched towards a cigarette. So well, nearly everyone had spilled far past the boundaries of the night’s original plans, extracting bottles of vodka from the cabinets and losing a lot of clothes. Harry had proclaimed that he was finally going to throw a small and very grownup dinner party and of course here they were three hours later, fifty people half-naked in the pool. Soon to be full-naked, if Louis had to guess. Everybody in LA loved a heated pool. Everybody loved Harry.

--> ok LISTEN. as some of you know, i just recently got into reading a/b/o fics and this one is definitely at the top of my fave a/b/o fics out there. it’s an interesting take on the trope, almost a bit more realistic in my opinion, and to quote the author’s note, “’what if a/b/o but less biological determinism?’”. i believe i found this one through a masterpost of “touch-deprivation fics”, so if that’s your thing, give this one a chance!

my ugly mouth kept running [4k] by theankletattoo @hadestyles

Another seed, another try except they know what caused the first wilt. They will be careful, they will be kind and together they will nurture it to life.

sometimes second chances are more important than the first.

--> rori, the author, never fails to disappoint when it comes to all of her works. i’ve said it once and i’ll say it again, she’s so incredibly fucking talented it’s unreal. her imagery is so vivid and real it leaves simultaneously everything and nothing to the imagination. as usual, h and l’s dynamic in this is an addicting portion to this fic that has you anticipating how their dynamic will shift and grow up until the end. if you’ve yet to read any of rori’s work, i suggest you add that to your to-do list for the month, and get a head start to her collection with this one!

**As Wicked As Anything Could Be [21k] by whoknows @crazyupsetter

It starts when Louis decides that he wants to lose his cherry and announces that he thinks the best way to do that is by going to a gay club. Naturally, Harry can’t let him go alone, so he tags along and spends the night rating guys with Louis until someone finally catches Louis’s eye.

Harry shoves him out to dance with the guy, and he can already tell that it’s going to be a quick and dirty hook up, so he’s not surprised that Louis and the guy disappear into the bathroom ten minutes later.

It is a surprise when Louis comes out not even two minutes later, pale and clammy, grabs Harry by the hand and drags him right out the door.

Somehow Harry comes to the decision that it would be a good idea for him to be in the room with Louis while Louis gets laid.

It’s a stupid fucking decision.

--> i discovered this fic a while ago on a whim and i have zero regrets. this is absolutely on my top ten fave fics list (that has yet to exist but perhaps i’ll post it one day). whoknows is a well known author within the fandom, so i’m sure i don’t have to say much about their immense talent, but SERIOUSLY, their plot progression, even their use of dialogue is wonderful in every way. as a writer, i envy them lmao. this fic takes me on a rollercoaster every time i read it, it’s yet another comfort fic of mine and never fails to disappoint every time i pick it up again. please, do yourselves a favor this april and read this.

Keeping The Flame Alive [19k] by whoknows @crazyupsetter 

Recording with One Direction never felt like this. There’s a couple reasons for that, Harry thinks. One is that they did most of their recording on the road, rushed and in busses and hotel rooms, never in one place long enough to really get an argument going. The other, larger and more important one, is that back then he had the sweetest, meanest little omega around to distract him from all of that frustration.

The first time around, when he’d been recording his debut solo album, it hit him pretty hard. He likes to think he’s better adjusted to it now, but frustration is warring under his skin nonetheless. He doesn’t want to be told what to do most of the time, and he especially doesn’t want to be told what to do when it comes to his music.

What he does want right now is that sweet, mean little omega right in front of him with his mouth on Harry’s cock. Unfortunately, the best he’s got is his own hand and a shared toilet. So. That’s really not going to work.

--> yes, for the first time in dehydratedpoolfics history of fic recs even tho i’ve only been doing this for a month i am rec’ing the same author twice, but seriously, how could i not??? this fic took me on a literal journey like... wtf. i have no words. seriously, i have none, i’m just that blown away, go read it for yourself .

**a trail of honey through it all [27k] by bruisedhoney @yvesaintlourent 

The boy in front of him, well really, the man in front of him, was like something out of a confusing wet dream. Built, tall, tan and muscular, his skin glistened with sweat after a long day of working outdoors with his hands. He was wearing a cut up old American football shirt, the bottom hem was torn and the sleeves were cut off to the point where the t-shirt was really just a loose tank top. The shorts he had on had clearly been full length jeans at one point, and were now just crudely cut off above the knee. His white socks were pulled up too high on his calves, and the brown work boots he had on were old as fuck, the leather peeling along the edges of the soles. Curly brown hair stuck out from the edges of his backwards snapback, and there was a smudge of grease wiped along his brow bone. The smattering of hair along his jaw proved that he hadn’t shaved in a week or two, the hair growing in thicker across his upper lip and around his chin. His sinfully bowed mouth was pink and plump, and Louis was suddenly hyper-focused on the way that he chewed at the toothpick stuck between his lips. He looked like he needed a shower. Louis wanted to lick him.

Or, the TPH fic we’ve all been waiting for.

--> okay look. i may or may not have a slight obsession with this fic. i reread it constantly, mostly for the iconic line, “are we fuckin’ or fightin’?”, because how can i not scream over that?? ((also patiently waiting for the sequel)) this is a literary masterpiece, one that defines an entire generation of this fandom i stg. but in all seriousness, hayley, the author, does such a wonderful job of giving the reader a vivid look into “nowhere, georgia”, and as a southern gal myself, i absolutely adore the itty bitty pieces of southern culture embedded into this, the tiny quirks that make this fic authentic. i could probably go on forever on why this fic is so iconic, but perhaps you should read it for yourself instead *wink* *wink*

SO. that’s all for this month!! if you read any of these, first of all, be sure to read the tags and author’s note (if any) before starting, AND please don’t forget to leave a quick kudos or comment, it means more than you may ever know <3

[highkeyweeb]

To start this off on the most positive note I can, I would like to say that I love MHA. It’s a show I was skeptical to watch at first, but hooked me in faster than any anime had in a long time. I became very easily captivated by its characters and its story and can’t wait to see where Horikoshi takes it and the plan he has for it moving forward.

Now on the more upsetting side of things… The MHA/BNHA fandom has, and pardon my French (Aoyama would be disappointed), gone to shit. I first learned about everything that was going on when a friend sent me a Tiktok. They always send me MHA Tiktoks because they know I love them and they always make me smile seeing skits, or cosplay or whatever else people do because they’re showing their love for the fandom. So it undoubtedly shattered my heart when I saw how horrific things are in the fandom right now. Needless to say that’s not what I was expecting when I opened my messages.

I quickly tried to get as informed on the situation as I could (because honestly you should never take any information you get from Tiktok at face value, ALWAYS try to educate yourself more). It led me to a new article, some Twitter posts, and a certain Instagram post.

I’ll say this right now: as a KiriBaku shipper, it would break my heart if KiriBaku, or any other ship for that matter, became canon simply because the author was pressured into pleasing a toxic fanbase.

To be a fan of something isn’t to want it to follow YOUR vision. It isn’t even about being happy about everything that happens in the story. It’s about being involved, and being able to voice your opinions in a healthy, open-minded, and nonjudgemental way. Some people like Bakugo, others do not. Some people aren’t even a fan of the protagonist of the story, AND THAT’S OKAY. You don’t have to love every part of something to be a part of a fandom.

But just because you DON’T love a part of something, or what YOU want hasn’t happened, doesn’t mean that you should ruin the experience for everyone.

Shipping isn’t about ships becoming canon. As a shipper from multiple fandoms, I’ll be the first and hopefully not the last to tell you that. There are wholesome ways to feed your passion for a ship, and there are definitely wrong ways to go about doing that as well. I’ll tell you some healthy ways that I have used for years, and am still guilty of using to this day: fan art, fan fiction, and Tumblr.

Fan art is an obvious one. Not only do you get to see all the cute, romantic, wholesome/unwholesome moments between your ship, but you also get to support amazing creators who are exceptionally talented.

Fan fiction on the other hand, has such a negative connotation to it. On the surface level, 80% of fan fiction is badly written, meaningless sexualization of the characters, and has no structure. But I challenge shippers to look a little deeper, if you love a ship to the point where you want it to become canon, immerse yourself in a universe where that dream can come true! But DON’T push your visions onto other people.

It’s the same with religions, political views, and anything really. We’ve all spent time to develop our unique beliefs, and would hate for others to be violently forcing theirs onto us.

Now on to Tumblr. Yes, I know everyone has their reasons for hating or leaving Tumblr, but it’s a GREAT hub for people to get involved in fandoms in a healthy way. If you know a shipper of any kind, I challenge you again to tell them to try out Tumblr. If not for being a fan of the platform, but to be able to share your love for something in healthy and non-toxic way.

Now that is NOT to say take the toxic comments to another platform. If you or someone you know has commented, tweeted, or posted towards Horikoshi to make your ship canon (in any way shape or form) you are in the wrong. That isn’t the right way to show your adoration for something, no matter how peacefully or harmlessly you think you asked.

Now to get back to the issue at hand, this a very simple case of a few people ruining it for everyone. I wouldn’t be surprised if at this point Horikoshi just abandoned BNHA. It must be on his mind. And no matter how many people are telling you they love you and what you do, somehow your mind always manages to fixate itself on the negative, hateful, and hurtful comments. If you were ever a teenager, you might be able to understand that.

To everyone saying that shippers are ruining the fandom, I understand your anger. And on some level I empathize with it. But do try to understand that it isn’t shippers as a whole that are the source of all this negativity, it’s the select few of them that believe they are so entitled they can get whatever they want. If anyone out there is feeling like they have a right to have a say in things like which ships become canon or what path the story takes, remember: this isn’t your story. This is Horikoshi’s story, his universe, and his tale. He has the right, no… the PRIVILEGE to make it whatever he wants it to be. And I wholeheartedly believe that he will make it nothing short of spectacular.

Holy heck, I know this was way too long and no one read this through to it’s entirety but this was more of just a personal rant to get things that have been on my mind, OFF my mind. I can only hope that someone read what I said and realized something they did wrong, and a way they can change their actions in the future to make not only this fandom, but the world as a whole, a better place.

Have a great day everyone. ❤️ 

P.S. - To everyone saying they’re not gay, or it’s not a romance anime, etc. I want to remind you that not ALL ships are romantic ones. Now in this case I feel like the conversation is strictly talking about romantic ships, but just a reminder in case someone forgot or wasn’t aware. On top of that, there are PLENTY of non-romantic anime that have canonical pairs.

P.S.S. - Just as I was about to post this I thought of another thing: calling shippers mental, disgusting, or f-ed up is EXTREMELY generalizing, and gives an entire community of people a bad name when it’s just a select few. Also downright hating on certain ships because you don’t understand them or they seem outrageous to you is never acceptable, whether you’re a shipper or not. Now of course that’s not to say that you have to like everything but... if you don’t have anything nice to say then just don’t say anything at all. 

This post is as much a message to the entitled shippers of the fandom, as it is to the toxic members of the fandom who turned to using hurtful words to put down those shippers in order to tell them they’re wrong. Two wrongs, NEVER make a right.

Feel free to reblog and add any constructive comments on things you think I may have missed. In a community where there is so much hate being thrown around right now, and people are being looked down upon for something that should be so harmless and simple, I would really appreciate it if there were no hurtful words associated with this post. Let’s go beyond Plus Ultra to make this fandom a better place. 💛

[naivesilver]

@bewilderedmoth​ FINE. Fine. Since today is a Monday and therefore a day much more suited for a vitriolic commentary on terrible insects, I shall fulfill your request and the anon’s. I’m warning everyone in the premises, though -  this is a “no fucks given” list, so it may get ugly at any time. Also, as usual, this is only for things that I’ve already watched, so if you know of some cricket horror and don’t see it mentioned, assume I’ve yet to get to that specific adaptation.

Alright then! To the barricades!

1) Disney’s Pinocchio (1940)

The first of his genre. Look at this asshole - he’s literally the last creature I’d entrust my child to. The fact Pinocchio had to spend his first couple days of life with this guy shadowing his every step is mind-boggling, and it’s made even worse by the fact that the Blue Fairy put him in charge of another man’s kid, as though she had the right to make that choice.

(I won’t fall for the desire of dunking on the Fairy more, as this is a Cricket list, but believe me, the temptation is there. It always is.)

As Disney sidekicks go, he’s one of the worst. He’s not funny, and despite having literally ONE job he manages to fail spectacularly at it. He’s snappish at Pinocchio, he abandons his charge about two hours into the new day, he spends a much longer time flirting with female-presenting inanimate objects/animals/supernatural beings than doing any actual childrearing. He should have been forgotten the instant the movie left the theaters, but instead Disney made him one of his main mascots, giving him the role of storyteller or ghost or whatever the fuck they need him to do at the time. So not only is he single-handedly responsible for every other entry in this list, I keep finding him everywhere I turn my eyes to. A knock-off version of his Ghost of Christmas Past self was in the new Ducktales, too, so my friend freenklin (who already has had to endure many of my complaints) received some VERY disappointed scream-texts as I was liveblogging my watch.

Just...no. Get him out of my sight.

(Also Ewan McGregor is bound to voice him in the live action and like??? Excuse me??? Are we supposed to not make Obi Wan jokes??? Will he abandon his young padawan Pinocchio to the evil Strombolitroopers???)

2) Pinocchio and the Emperor of the Night (1987)

This movie is at the bottom of my Pinocchio adaptation ranking, and boy, does it deserve the dishonor. The story is a weird mixture of adaptation and sequel, approximately a tenth of the characters actually appear in the book, and I can’t forgive them for ruining what could have been the coolest concept ever (Pinocchio as a pawn in a fight of good vs evil) into this disgrace of a cartoon.

As for the Cricket, in this case he’s not even a cricket. He’s a glowworm, and he’s a goddamn puppet too, to whom the Fairy gave life. I wonder, is the entirety of her job just...transforming people’s creations into sentient beings so that they can lead others to a honest life? Tell me, ma’am, do you want to breathe life into my disappointing Powerpoint presentations too, so that they might bully me into graduating?

Anyway, if you’re wondering what purpose Gee Willikers (sigh) serves, the answer is NONE. Pinocchio gets rid of him at least twice (good for him) and as easily as drinking a glass of water, he’s a burden to the (admittedly cooler) additional characters, like the aviator bee, and not only is he ugly as fuck, but also so annoying every time he gets a chance to speak that it’s a miracle he wasn’t cut out in post-production.

In short, disgusting. If he entered my home I’d swat him with a flycatcher until he leaves.

3) Pinocchio (2009)

This is essentially Disney’s Jiminy Cricket, but female, anthropomorphic, and with a passion for books instead of pretty ladies or ladies-adjacent objects. Mind you, a sapphic Cricket would perhaps have saved more than one adaptation, this one included, but I’m glad they skipped that part altogether. This miniseries has enough issues as it is.

I’m sorry, she’s just too annoying. Luciana Littizzetto can be funny, but in small doses, otherwise her jokes start to become repetitive. Two hours straight - and yes, it’s that much, because SOMEONE decided to follow Disney’s footsteps a little too well - are too long even for the strongest of hearts. Plus, none of the characters’ costumes are very flattering, accurate or well-made (except for Lampwick 💖), but hers just might take the cake. It looks like a mixture between a teenager’s first attempt at steampunk fashion and a Mardi Gras costume lifted from the discarded items’ bin at a cheap store. Takes you out of the fantasy more than anything else.

4) Roberto Benigni’s Pinocchio (2002)

I’ve talked at length of the weirdness of this movie, but all in all it’s a pretty accurate transposition of the story, from the dialogue to the scenery.

Except for him.

The Cricket in this case does appear in the scenes belonging to him, but ALSO in a long and extremely useless sequence where he tries to find Pinocchio in the Land of Toys and gets kicked around by literally everyone present. Don’t get me wrong, that’s something I would have liked to do as well, but it was totally unnecessary, and it gave nothing to the overall story. This movie still holds the record as the most expensive Italian movie ever made, so wouldn’t it have been better for everybody to  skip that part entirely? Not only it would have saved them some money, but also it would have saved me from seeing this guy for an additional fifteen minutes on my screen.

Still, pretty tame compared to some of the others. Could have been worse.

5) Once Upon A Time (2011)

I debated long and hard before making this choice, and I’m not putting him in with a light heart, but before you come at me with pitchforks, please listen.

I like Archie, okay! He’s a fun character, the human side of his backstory was great and gave him a lot of depth and inner turmoil, and the concept of Jiminy Cricket being a therapist is amazing and hilarious. But he’s kind of a shit therapist, whose actions aren’t always what you’d expect from someone who’s supposed to be a conscience and a guide. And despite the show giving us the impression that he and Pinocchio had the same adventures as in the Disney movie (which doesn’t exactly endear him to me - if it wasn’t for his later character development he’d already be Lil Nas X-ing his way down to the bottom of my list), he and August never interacted on screen after the First Curse broke. Not once. And if there’s someone who needs therapy and support, that’s August Wayne Booth.

Yes, I did say at some point that I’d like to fix this in a fic. I’ll write it when I don’t have like eight projects on my table at the same time.

Finally, two scenes settled the matter for me: one, him pontificating at Snow about her trying to do everything on her own, without even pretending to help her set up the stroller she was struggling with at that very moment. I work with kids every day, I know exactly what she’s going through. Shut your mouth and open the damn stroller, Archie.

And two...That one fucking scene where he’s jumping out of Snow White’s cleavage. Honestly, what the fuck??? I wouldn’t even have remembered it if Libby hadn’t reminded me, so I suppose my brain tried to remove the traumatic memory before it caused any further damage, but it exists, and I’m still wondering why. What exactly was the deal with the writers, when they made that choice? I want a glass of what they were having, because by God, does it sound like a trip-inducing cocktail.

Aaaand we’re done! Remember, this is all part of my personal opinion, and I’m not to be taken seriously even on the best of days. Plus, my favorite cricket-esque character, aside from the book-accurate ones, is Gina from Piccolino no Bouken, who is a duck, a sassy little bastard and no closer to Collodi’s canon than any of these fuckers. So yes, when it comes to choices dictated by the heart, I am an hypocrite. Au revoir!

[adenei]

Always A Bridesmaid, Never a Bride - Ch. 2

so much for only posting one chapter a week...oh well. You’re welcome for those of you who are into this!

AO3 || FFN

---RON---

“Ron, hey! Have a good weekend?” Neville Longbottom approached me as I walked into my office at The Telegraph.

“Hey, Nev. Yeah, I guess. You?”

“It was great! You missed out on Saturday night. The film festival was spectacular!”

“Yeah, well, in case you’ve forgotten, I work Saturday nights. I call it the curse of the commitments.”

I knew Neville meant well and he was a good friend, but he seemed to forget that I’m stuck in this hell hole having to attend weddings and then portray them as these beautiful, fairy tale level events. This was not what I anticipated my writing career to look like, yet here I was.

“Right. Sorry. It must be a truly despicable life. Dining on free food and red velvet cake. Was it a good wedding, at least? Find anyone to shack up with?” Neville asked.

I almost snorted out the sip of coffee I’d just taken. Nevile knew that I wasn’t on the pull, right? Let alone looking for someone to move in with. “Hardly. How many times do I have to tell you, one night stands and weddings are not a good mix, no matter how many people say otherwise.”

“But there has to be single bridesmaids looking for a fun night with no commitments,” Neville pressed.

“Maybe there are, but I’m not going for it. It’s not worth it.” I waved Neville off as I set my stuff at my desk and made my way over to my boss’s office. 

I’d been waiting the rest of the weekend to unveil my brilliant story idea. I was convinced this would finally promote me out of the commitments section. Not bothering to knock, I strode in and dropped the overflowing Filofax on my editor’s desk.

“This better be important, Weasley,” Rita Skeeter said.

“Er, yeah. I’ve got a story idea I wanted to run by you,” I said. All the confidence I was feeling before somehow disappeared as soon as I stepped into her office.

Rita kept on working as she said, “We’ve been through this before. I hired you to write wedding announcements, not investigative pieces.” I could tell she was not in the mood, but I’d given this far too much thought to give up.

“All I'm asking for is a chance to prove to you that I can offer my writing skills to other sections of the paper—”

“If this is another story proposition about exposing some minute detail of how the wedding industry is ripping people off, you can walk right out of this office. I don’t have any interest in hearing it.”

“But those were meaningful stories! People deserve to know that bakeries are overcharging for cakes. You could ask for an elaborate birthday cake design and the price would be significantly less because it’s not for a wedding! They’re conning innocent people just because they’re in love!”

“Readers don’t want stories on the price gouging, Ron! They want happy, feel good stories that give them hope, and you do that quite well. Your articles make most of our money, and I’d be insane to switch you to a different section!” Rita said with a tone of finality.

“Just hear me out. Please? I promise this is a good one.” I opened the Filofax. “This girl’s been in seven weddings—”

“So?” Rita responded. She sounded unimpressed.

“—This year. She was in two this past weekend alone. On the same night! There’s a story here, and I can sense it. She’s like a perpetual bridesmaid. There has to be a reason for it. She doesn’t strike me as the type that has that many friends.”

Rita finally looked up at me. I couldn’t read what she was thinking, but I was mentally preparing to be shot down again. Not this time, though. I needed to fight back for this one. It might be the only way I can get close to Hermione again.

“Fine.”

“Seriously, Rita I can make this—wait, what?”

“I said, ‘fine.’ I’m giving you a chance. Two weeks to find something out of this, and we’ll see what happens.”

“Four,” I said. Two was nowhere near enough time.

“Three, and that’s it.”

“Okay. And if you like it, I move out of commitments for good,” I said firmly.

“Ron—”

“I’m serious. I’ll quit. I can’t spend the rest of my career finding creative ways to highlight baby’s breath and sugar roses.”

“Fine. But you won’t quit. I know you better than that.” Rita picked up the Filofax and handed it to me before ushering me out of her office. “Now, get that adorably cute face out of here before I change my mind.”

I flashed a grin at her. “You won’t be disappointed.”

If the indication from our conversation in the taxi told me anything, it was that I had my work cut out for me. I opened her Filofax and set to work. A plan was already formulating, and I was eager to set it in motion.

This was my chance. My ticket out. Now, I just had to get close to the woman who drove me insane two nights ago. The woman I was unable to get out of my mind. I couldn’t stop thinking about her. It was just because of the bridesmaid thing, I kept telling myself. That was it. 

---- HERMIONE ----

Monday rolled around far too quickly, but I was okay with it. Harry was coming back from a conference after being out of the office last week. I made sure things ran smoothly while he was gone since that was my job. You could call me his assistant, but I was also second in command of the company he’d started from scratch: Second Chance Publishers. 

Harry Potter was the ultimate entrepreneur, and I was lucky to work for him. He was everything you could wish for in a boss. Kind and understanding, yet firm and determined in his vision. He was always one who wanted to help the underdog, hence the company’s name. We read author’s manuscripts that had been tossed aside from leading publishing agencies, and gave the promising ones a chance. It’d been eight years and the company was still going strong.

Harry had taken a chance when he hired me fresh out of university, and I like to think I’ve proved indispensable since then. I was incredibly lucky to work in a position where my opinion mattered and I felt needed, like I belonged. Not to mention my boss was unequivocally sexy, and somehow still single.

Single was a good thing. That meant I may still have a chance. He had to notice me eventually, right? Okay, yes, I’ll admit it; I fancy my boss, but it’s innocent! I swear.

I needed to stop thinking about him. The anticipatory butterflies were already fluttering in my stomach, and I needed to get them under control. Coffee in hand, I walked the remainder of the two blocks to the office, and met Lavender on her way in.

“Never made it home this weekend, I see,” I said with a smile as I handed her coffee over. I was totally judging her and she knew it. I was never one to engage in one night stands and she knew it.

Lavender gave me a smug smile and ignored my question. “Maybe. Not that I could find you to stop me. What happened to you the other night? You were hardly there and then you left with that guy. Did you get lucky?”

“What? No! Of course not.”

“Oh, yes, I forgot. You’re holding out for Mr. Right,” Lavender scoffed.

I ignored her comment as we meandered through the main doors into the office. Luna Lovegood, the receptionist, was sitting at the front desk. “Morning, Luna!”

“Hi!” she said brightly.

“Question for you: have you seen my Filofax around anywhere by chance?”

“No,” she answered simply.

“Oh, okay then. It’s probably in my office. No problem. I’ll keep looking. Did you happen to send out the order I left on your desk Friday afternoon for the manufacturer?”

She looked nonplussed. “No.”

“Alright. No big deal, I’ll take care of it,” I said as we continued on down the hall.

“Wow, Hermione, you really told her,” Lavender said.

I sighed. “It’s fine, Lav, I should have done it myself anyway..”

“But you’re the boss, you’re allowed to tell people what to do.”

“I’m not the boss, and you know that. I’m the boss’s assistant. There’s a difference.”

“Correction, there would be a difference if the boss didn’t rely on you so much as well.”

I rolled my eyes. “Maybe I just like my job.”

“Or maybe, it’s not the job you like, but the boss,” she raised her eyes knowingly at me.

 “Get to accounting, Lavender,” I told her, since I wasn’t willing to admit that she was right.

“Oh, sure, now you get bossy,” she said as she meandered off.

I chuckled to myself as I walked into my office and got settled for the day. My first point of business was to find my Filofax. That held my life. Every appointment and event was written in there. Not to mention all my cut outs of details I loved and wanted to incorporate for my own dream wedding. I searched high and low and it was absolutely nowhere to be found.

Giving up, I turned to my computer and attempted to get some work done. My productivity didn’t last very long, though. I looked up a half hour later to see a flower delivery at the front desk. Did Luna just point to me? My heart beat a little faster in my chest. I think she did. The man was walking towards me and stopped just outside my office. 

“Hermione Granger?” he asked.

“That’s me,” I said in a hushed voice.

“These are for you,” he said as he handed them to me and turned to leave.

I was dumbstruck. I never received flowers, let alone at work! Setting them on my desk, I began searching for the note card that should have accompanied the beautiful bouquet, but nothing was there to reveal the mystery sender.

“Oh, sure, I spend all weekend in bed with a guy and you’re the one who’s sent flowers!”* Lavender sounded annoyed as she strolled into my office. “Who are they from?”

“I don’t know. It doesn’t say.” My voice still sounded shocked.

When I turned to look at Lav, I watched as her face went from annoyed, to understanding, and then it finally settled on pity. “Hermione, no, you can’t possibly think it’s from him.”

“Well, who else could it be?” I asked indignantly.

“I don’t know, but you’ve got to stop this! You’re in love with a man who doesn’t even know you exist.”

“I am not in love with him,” I lied. “And he does too know I exist.”

“Yeah, in a ‘she’s my assistant’ kind of way, not in a ‘she’s so sexy I want to rip her clothes off and have mind blowing sex with her’ way.”*

“You don’t know that,” I said weakly.

“I do too know that! Honestly, at least get it under control, will you? The whole office knows,” Lavender argued.

“They do not!” I said incredulously.

Luna, who was passing by my door at that exact moment, must have heard Lavender and chimed in. “Yes, we do.” She smiled at both of us and kept right going before I could stop her.

“See?” Lavender pressed. “I’m telling you—” she was cut off by a dog barking, which could only mean one thing.

“Pads!” I cried as the large black dog darted towards me.

“Hey, Padfoot, easy there. Hermione doesn’t want a face full of slobber this morning,” came Harry’s sultry, baritone voice.

“No, no, it’s okay!” I said quickly as I stood back up. “Hi. How was the conference?”

“Brilliant! If things went as well as I hope they did, we may be expanding into the American and Canadian markets.”

“That’s wonderful!” I noticed Lavender pretend to gag from over Harry’s shoulder. 

“How are things here? Have we met our quota for the end of the month?” Harry immediately began business talk. I liked a boss who was no nonsense and wanted to make sure things stayed on track.

“Almost. There’s a few manuscripts to get through, and we’re waiting on approval from Hopkirk on the illustrations. If we can get that soon, the art department can move forward, and we should have the new publication out by the middle of next month.

“Great. I’ll make a point to call her personally to see if we can get the process moving more quickly.”

I nodded. “Just so you know, you’ve got an 11:00 meeting with marketing. Oh, and the Boys and Girls Club has an event coming up that they’d like you to speak at. Nothing too intensive, just a few words on the impact that reading has had on their kids, and how you’ve seen the program grow since you’ve become involved. But it will be a formal affair,” I added.

“Ah, so I suppose that means I’ll need to bring a date,” Harry acknowledged.

“Yes, probably,” I said with a small smile. I was trying to hide the hope that he might ask me. It was a work event. Sort of…

“Well, I guess that’s one aspect of my life that I shouldn’t need your help with, right?” he said with a chuckle.

“Er, yeah, right,” I said regretfully.  

I watched as he turned and left my office. Lavender looked like she wanted to say something. “Don’t even start.”

“Fine. Hey, what are you doing before Luna’s sten party tonight? I’m meeting some friends for pre-drinks. You could use the distraction!”

I laughed at her brazenness. “My neighbor is coming back into town. I promised I’d pick her up at the train station

 and we’d grab a bite before the party.” I lowered my voice for what I was about to say next. “Who schedules a sten party on a Monday anyways?”

“Are you just starting to question Luna’s decisions now? And is that the neighbor you’ve been friends with since you moved in, but know nothing about? The one who disappears for months on end?”

“Yeah, Jenny. But she’s really nice, and fun to hang out with when she’s in town. There’s only so much I can take of you,” I joked.

“You wouldn’t know what to do without me,” Lavender scoffed.

Just then, Harry popped his head back in my office. “Hey, Hermione, did you leave the coffee on my desk?”

“What? Oh, yes. It was nothing. I, er—I figured you might want it,” I said with a nonchalant shrug.

“Thanks! You were right, just like always,” he smiled and I thought my legs were turning to jelly. “That’s why I love ya,” he added as he disappeared from my doorway.*

I was awestruck. “I love you, too,” I said quietly under my breath as I watched him walk away*. 

Slap! Lavender smacked me hard across the face. “Get it together!” she snapped.

I shook my head as I cleared my head from the haze. “Y-yeah. Yup. Thanks. I needed that.”

Lavender had no words for me. I always appreciated her realistic view on things, even if it was a bit crass. The fact that she was speechless over what had just happened was like someone dumping ice water down my back, and the cold realization creeped through my veins. I had it bad for my boss, and I was stuck.

~o~

I was right on time when I arrived at the train station to pick up Jenny. She’d been away for six months, which was longer than normal, but I was excited that she was coming home for a while. I loved Lavender and her friendship, but sometimes she was a bit much. Jenny was way more relaxed, and didn’t press me as much about my personal life. Soon enough I saw her flaming red hair in the crowd. I waved and it didn’t take long for her to spot me. 

“Hermione!” I heard her cry as she made her way over to me. She wrapped me in a hug. “It’s so good to see you! I’m sorry you had to pick me up. My brother bailed on me last minute.”

“Ah, yes, this mysterious brother you insist exists, yet I’ve never met in our five years of sharing the same building,” I joked. “Come on, I’ve already called for takeaway.”

“Brilliant! I’m starved. Fish and chips, I hope? I can’t tell you the last time I’ve had a good English classic,” she said eagerly.

“Of course, would you expect anything less?”

Jenny threw her arm around my shoulder as I took one of her bags and we made our way to the taxis. The ride took a bit longer than usual since it was rush hour, but our takeaway was still warm by the time we got to the flat. Jenny dropped her bags off in her flat next door to mine, and then met me a few minutes later.

“Finally! I was drooling in the taxi,” she said. 

“So, how were your travels this time around?” I asked between bites.

“Eh, same old, same old. It’s a rough schedule being on the job for six months and then off, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.”

“You’re an athletic trainer for one of the female football teams, right?” I attempted to verify. 

“Something like that, yeah. It’s hard to believe I’ve finished my sixth season already.”

I nodded, storing that information in the file I had in my brain for her. I’d learned a good deal about Jenny over the past few years, even if it was nothing terribly close to her personal life. I knew she wasn’t overly fond of animals, hated cleaning, and could drink anyone into the ground and be completely fine the next day. She was strikingly beautiful with chocolate brown eyes that possessed a hardness to them when she showed the world her ‘no nonsense’ attitude. I was sure she had no trouble finding men even with her crazy work schedule getting in the way.

“Soooo,” Jenny said, interrupting my thoughts. “What’s been going on with you? Have you met a man yet?”

Maybe I’d spoken too soon when I said I appreciated her friendship more than Lav’s. “No, still single, but I received flowers from some anonymous person at work today,” I mentioned with a chuckle.

“Oh? Tell me more!”

“It was nothing, really. Just a delivery with no note. I have an idea who may have sent them, but they never came forward.”

“Do you think it’s from your mysterious workplace crush? Have they finally noticed what they’ve been missing out on?”

“One can only hope,” I said as I shrugged. “What are your plans for tonight?”

“Probably dumping the contents of my luggage on the floor of my bedroom and crashing, if I’m being honest. Why? Do you have anything planned?”

“Luna, the receptionist at work is having her sten party at XOXO,” I told her. “You’re more than welcome to join if you’d like. Meet new people, reacquaint yourself with London’s nightlife…”

“At an Indie bar? We’ll see how I’m feeling after this food digests. I’m way too full to think about going anywhere,” she said. 

“Well, the offer stands if you decide you want to meet me there later on, though I don’t blame you for wanting to make a date with your sofa instead.”

We got up and took care of the containers. As Jenny was getting ready to leave, I saw her pause by the counter. “What are these?” she asked as she picked up several newspaper clippings.

“Nothing!” I said quickly, snatching them out of her hand.

“Do you really save wedding announcements?” Jenny asked me.

“Not all of them! Just the ones written by Billy Weston. He’s the best!” I insisted.

Jenny was looking at me quizzically before she headed for the door. “Well, you do you, I guess. Thanks for picking me up again! And for dinner. I owe you one.”

“No problem! It’s good to have you back.” Jenny flashed me a smile before she left. 

I hoped that maybe someday she’d trust me enough to let me in on the parts of her life she kept locked up tight. The least I could do in the meantime was be a good friend. For now, I needed to get ready for the sten party.

~o~

Lavender and I were walking away from the bar in the club when I heard someone say Harry’s name. He was here! I turned in time to see him making his way over to us. 

“You got them annual passes to the London Zoo and Aquarium,” I said, noticing the worried look on his face.

“Great! Thanks, Hermione. Any chance she’ll believe it’s from me?” Harry asked.

“Maybe. You do an okay job of getting to know your employees, so I’d say there’s a fifty-fifty shot,” I quipped.

He gave a look of approval. “Excellent. I’m going to head to the bar and get a drink. Do you guys need anything?”

I chuckled as I said, “No, thanks. I’m set.” I held up my own drink as Lavender also shook her head no.

Harry nodded and walked away as Lavender looked at me incredulously. “Are you kidding me?” she shot me a look.

“What?”

“When a guy asks to buy you a drink, you always say yes! Even if you already have one. If you ask for a sex on the beach, it’s a subtle hint to indicate what you’re hoping for later.” 

I shook my head. “Honestly, Lav, do you ever not have sex on your mind?”

“What’s wrong with that? It might finally get you what you’re hoping for. He buys you a drink, you talk about something other than work, he sees you more than just his assistant and voila! Happily ever after!” She lifted her drink in a cheers motion.

I couldn’t help but laugh at her ridiculous statement. “We already do talk about things other than work. I’m not going to rush him into anything.’

Lavender rolled her eyes. “You’re impossible.”

“No, I’m responsible.”

“What guy wants responsible?” Lavender was clearly getting flustered now.

“Harry! He loves my responsibility and appreciates me for who I am,” I insisted.

“Well, yeah, but he might appreciate you more if he knew what you wanted,” Lavender said just before clamping her mouth down on her straw and taking a big swig of her drink.

I gave her a look as Harry made his way back over to us. “Hey, Hermione, I hope that thing I left on your desk this morning was okay…” he said quietly.

“That...thing?” I said breathlessly, immediately thinking of the flowers.

“Yeah. I mean, I know it’s kind of a new level for us and I just wanted to make sure you were okay with it.”

‘Y-yeah! Yes! Totally fine with it! Definitely,” I said as a grin broke out on my face.

“Great. Er, thanks,” Harry said as he nodded to me and took off to mingle.

I turned to Lavender. “It was him. He sent me the flowers. Oh my God! Lavender, he sent me the flowers!”

“Holy shit, he really did!” I could tell by the shocked look on her face she couldn’t believe it either. “What are you waiting for?!” she asked.

“W-what?” I asked, confused.

“What are you waiting for? Go over there and tell him how you feel! He made the first move with the flowers! It’s now or never! Go declare your love! I can’t believe I’m saying this, but it’s your fairy tale moment.”

“Oh, yeah, right. Go. Yes, I’ll go,” I said awkwardly.

Lavender pushed me in his direction and I began walking slowly his way. This was it. The moment I’d been waiting for years to come face to face with! My heart was beating faster with each step.

I was only a few paces away when I saw him notice something. I followed his gaze across the dance floor and saw Jenny looking around, probably for me. I was used to seeing her dressed down in a pair of jeans or sweats, but she was actually done up nicely. Her makeup was done, and her straight red hair fell over her shoulders. She was wearing a shimmery emerald green dress that showed off a bit more than I would have ever expected from her. 

I saw her notice Harry, giving him a small smile. I should have stopped and turned around when they were clearly making their way toward each other, but I couldn’t stop my feet. They just kept propelling me forward. Ironically, I met up with them just as they stopped in front of each other.

Jenny noticed me out of the corner of her eye and muttered, “Hermione.”

“Oh, er, right. Harry, this is my friend Jenny, Jenny this is my Harry—no! I mean, this is my boss, Harry,” I clarified. How humiliating!*

“Yeah, Hermione’s the best assistant anyone could possibly have. Half the time she knows what I need even before I do, and she’s always willing to help,” he said nervously. Since when did Harry get nervous? “Just this morning I left Padfoot’s groomer appointment slip on her desk. It was last minute and I had a meeting, so I asked Hermione to drop him off for me.”

I felt like I’d been sucker punched in the gut. The flowers weren’t from him after all. How stupid was I to get my hopes up? 

“Ah, Pads’ appointment. Right,” I tried to say as lightly as I could. 

“Well, a clean dog is rather important,” Jenny agreed in a sweet voice.

“Would you like to get a drink?” Harry asked. He only had eyes for her.

“Well, I came to get a drink with my friend, but I couldn’t possibly say no,” Jenny giggled. Since when was Jenny a giggler?

My worst nightmare was coming true. Harry was clearly smitten with my neighbor. This wouldn’t be happening if I’d never invited her to come along, and now I’m watching them get a drink together. 

Before I could turn and leave, there was a tap on my shoulder. It was Ron. “What are you doing here?” I asked. I was totally shocked to run into him again.

“Fancy meeting you here! Did you like the flowers?” he asked me.

“What? Those were from you?” I asked. My voice definitely sounded rude.

He nodded with the lopsided grin flashing across his face. “Er, yeah. Did you like them?”

“Oh great, the marriage hating cynic left me romantic mystery flowers this morning. How ironic!” Could this day get any worse?

“Yeah, I guess you could put it that way. Oh, also, I have something for you.” He paused, and I watched him dig around in his satchel. “Here you go!”

It was my Filofax. “Oh, thank God! You found it!”

“Yeah, it was in the back of the cab. You should be more careful where you leave stuff like this. It was either I meet you here tonight or Thursday at your dad’s birthday party.” He laughed like it was a joke, but I was deeply offended and creeped out.

“You read it?”

He shrugged. “I tried to. I didn’t know anyone could fill up every possible centimeter on the page,” he joked again. 

I didn’t find it funny, and what made matters worse was I now saw Harry leaning in and whispering into Jenny’s ear. She was smiling and flirting and it felt like my life was falling apart.

 “Hey, Ron, could you hold this for a sec?” I asked as I shoved my drink in his hand.

He never got a chance to respond as I made my way to the nearest exit to get some air. Luckily the club was loud enough so no one inside could hear the scream of fury that was escaping my lips. I wasn’t proud of the vulgar language I let out, but tonight called for it. I stopped abruptly when I heard someone clear their throat. I looked up and realized the door I’d left didn’t actually lead outside, but to another room where a child’s birthday party was taking place. 

“Oh! I’m so sorry. I didn’t—5 years old, wow. Congratulations!” 

I knew my face was red as I swiftly turned around and made my way back into the club. I reluctantly walked back over to Ron. “Sorry about that.”

“No problem,” he said, handing my drink back to me. “Do you want to get a drink?” he asked hopefully.

“I don’t know…” I said. I suddenly wasn’t in the mood. 

“Come on, it’s just one drink,” he said. “Let me prove to you I’m not some creep.”

“It’s not that. I just—I won’t be any fun tonight,” I admitted.

“Oh, er, alright then. Well, maybe I’ll see you around? Thursday?” he joked again. 

I glared at him. “Goodnight, Ron.”

He gave me an awkward wave as he turned to leave. Lavender had suddenly appeared behind me. “Ooooh, who was he and where can I get one?”*

“He’s no one, Lav,” I said. I wasn’t in the mood anymore, and I just wanted to go home.

“What happened?” She asked, concerned.

“It’s a long story. I’m going to call it a night. I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said.

I found myself walking over to the bar, approaching Harry and Jenny in a last ditch effort before giving up. “Hey,” I said to them. “Jenny, you must be tired from all that traveling today. Do you want to share a taxi?”

“What? Oh, no Hermione, I’m fine,” she said dismissively. “Harry, do you want to go somewhere more quiet?”

“Sure, I know a place a few blocks from here.”

“What? No—Jenny, it’s getting—” I tried to interject, but nothing could break their attention from each other.

“Brilliant! I hardly ever explore this side of town,” Jenny said to him.

“Do you want to join, Hermione?” Harry asked.

I looked between Harry and Jenny, and she was giving me a frown and a slight shake of her head, willing me to say no. Of course, I couldn’t let her down, so I said, “Oh, no. You two go. I need to get back.” That was it. My chance was officially blown.

“Maybe next time,” Jenny said convincingly. “Let’s get coffee in the morning, yeah? I’ll text you!”

I nodded weakly as I watched them get up and head for the door. Jenny turned around mouthed ‘Thank you! You’re the best,’ before taking the arm Harry held out for her. My heart felt like it was shattering to pieces.

I caught a taxi and made my way home, resisting the urge to cry. There was no way I was going to sleep tonight. I tried to do a few things to tire myself out, like clean the kitchen and doing a home workout, but I found myself obsessively checking the peep hole in my door, and listening intently to hear whether Jenny had come home and whether or not Harry had joined her. 

Just the mere thought sent needles through my heart. At around two in the morning, I gave up and forced myself to go to bed. It was everything I could do to avoid getting up. Eventually, after a lot of tossing and turning, I managed to fall asleep.

[rayneul]

Ray Route Bad Ending Guide

(donʼt/never answer messages it give good heart so i suggest dont answer it :))

Day 5 (18%)

06:03 – Regrets

Selection 1 I was worried you disappeared in such a hurry… Are you alright now? (Ray)

Selection 2 I’m not disappointed… My heart is starting to break for you. (Ray)

Selection 3 No, please don’t blame yourself. This is not your fault at all. (Ray)

Selection 4 You’re already doing more than enough to protect me. (Ray)

Selection 5 No one is an airhead from birth. Please don’t say that, Ray… (Ray)

Selection 6 Please don’t blame yourself like that…. My heart is aching as well. (Ray)

 19:23 – Small Coincidence

Selection 1 You must be busy. Are you having your meals properly? (Ray)

Selection 2 That’s alright. I wanted to talk to you ^^ (Ray)

Selection 3 You don’t have to worry that I might leave… I’m not going anywhere without you. (Nothing)

Selection 4 Okay. I’ll tell you, so first make sure you take care. (Nothing)

Selection 5 Don’t worry about me… Are you alright? (Ray)

Selection 6 That’s not true. Please don’t say that… (Ray)

Selection 7 I think what matters is what you think about yourself. (Ray)

Selection 8 I also think that was a huge mistake. (Ray)

Selection 9 But do you have to push yourself so much? I think the Mint Eye is forcing you to do something too demanding… (Ray)

Selection 10 It’s okay. You can tell me. (Nothing)

Selection 11 You took a risk to protect me… Thank you… (Ray)

Selection 12 I don’t think you need it, either. Please don’t drink it if it hurts you… (Ray)

Selection 13 Okay. (Ray)

Selection 14 You don’t have to worry about me… (Ray)

Selection 15 I won’t leave you. So I hope your heart will find peace… (Ray)

Selection 16 I don’t want you suffering because of me… (Ray)

Selection 17 I’m fine. But I miss you so much… (Ray)

Selection 18 That’s alright. But you have to come back and chat with me again…! (Ray)

 Day 6 (54%)

03:17 – If I was stronger

Selection 1 I thought you might be still awake…! (Ray)

Selection 2 I think she basically welcomed me. And it looked like she’s worried about you too. (Ray)

Selection 3 I’m happy…that I was welcomed and introduced to an interesting mission thanks to you. (Ray)

Selection 4 I don’t think you have to deny such a natural feeling… (Nothing)

Selection 5 Of course. (Ray)

Selection 6 You’re protecting me, aren’t you? Thank you… (Ray)

Selection 7 I think you’re good enough. But I think your environment is suffocating you. (Ray)

Selection 8 I wish I could stay longer with you too… (Ray)

Selection 9 You might have a hard time right now, but things will get better soon. I hope you’d consider that I’m there with you. (Ray)

Selection 10 Please, stay with me just a little more… (Ray)

Selection 11 Yes, I’m sure we will be happy! (Ray)

Selection 12 I hop you get some rest too… (Ray)

07:40 – Busy on a fine day

Selection 1 How are you feeling today? (Nothing)

Selection 2 Situation? (Nothing)

Selection 3 It’s not related… to the hacker, is it? (Ray)

Selection 4 That’s really good. (Jaehee)

Selection 5 A politician…? (Ray)

Selection 6 Something’s a bit suspicious here…. (Ray)

Selection 7 So getting to know a lot of influential people is important. (Ray)

Selection 8 Maybe he wanted to get in touch with the prime minister for his grand personal plan…? (Ray)

Selection 9 Wait, is his last name Choi? (Ray)

Selection 10 I wonder if V can manage to grasp this opportunity… (Ray)

Selection 11 I think you’re all being overdramatic here. (Ray)

Selection 12 What a joy, but I think V wouldn’t even bat an eye at the news. (Ray)

Selection 13 But he’s too high in the authorities. I’m getting nervous… (Nothing)

Selection 14 I wish we could bring the prime minister to the RFA. That will be… so fantastic. (Ray)

Selection 15 Don’t you need Yoosung to help you with your practice? (Yoosung)

Selection 16 Good luck – ! (Zen)

Selection 17 I think you should take your time and progress step by step. (Nothing)

Selection 18 I thought V hasn’t been working on his photography for a while now. (Nothing)

Selection 19 …Is everything okay? (Nothing)

Selection 20 I’m fine. Thought I am worried about this particular person… (Ray)

Selection 21 You should set the appointment now. Why don’t we bring him to the RFA? (Ray)

Selection 22 I hope the prime minister could be one of us. (Ray)

Selection 23 That’s just my opinion. (Nothing)

Selection 24 I hope you consider bringing him to the RFA. (Ray)

Selection 25 Yes…? (Nothing)

Selection 26 I will. (Ray)

10:23 – Stabilization of Body & Soul

Selection 1 Jumin – ! You’re seeing the prime minister today, aren’t you? (Nothing)

Selection 2 So you started your quest. May your trail lead you to a gran finale! (Jumin)

Selection 3 I think that’s a really healthy hobby. ^^ (Ray + Jumin?)

Selection 4 But we can’t deny that social recognition comes before leisure. That’s unfortunate… (Ray)

Selection 5 Hobby and break are two different things. (Ray)

Selection 6 Are you sober from your emotions now? (Nothing)

Selection 7 The pure essence of darkness… Oh, the might power of puberty… (Nothing)

Selection 8 Don’t you think it’d be more lit…if the prime minister joins us? (Ray)

Selection 9 You must be nervous! (Nothing)

Selection 10 Then what are you other hobbies? (Nothing)

Selection 11 It’s a break and a hobby! I think they’re both meaningful! (Ray)

Selection 12 I wish I could share my hobbies with…. (Ray)

Selection 13 I do. (Nothing)

Selection 14 I’m all ears, Yoosung – (Yoosung)

Selection 15 I think background doesn’t really matter. You need to actually motivate yourself to enjoy your hobby. (Ray)

Selection 16 Honestly… I think such anxiety takes happiness even further away from us. (Ray)

Selection 17 I’m curious about him. Why don’t we invite him to the part and hear more from him? (Email from youth)

Selection 18 I think people should take courage and find one or two. (Nothing)

Selection 19 That’s is important! (Nothing)

Selection 20 So I’d get to understand myself better through my hobbies. (Jumin)

Selection 21 Thought it looks like she’s basically buried in her work these days…. (Nothing)

Selection 22 As an adult, I think it is necessary to establish personal philosophies. (Ray)

Selection 21 That’s because she already got great job – (Ray)

Selection 22 ….Why would you learn all those words…? (Nothing)

Selection 23 Nice talking to you – (Nothing)

Selection 24 Do ask him about joining us… (Ray)

Selection 25 Why don’t you try several things at your freedom? (Ray)

Selection 26 You should first find your heart some peace. Everything’s going to be alright. (Ray)

Selection 27 I have to be somewhere. (Nothing)

16:37 – Daffodil

Selection 1 Seven was looking for you. And he was in a hurry. (Nothing)

Selection 2 Are you sure he wanted to see you just because of your pictures? (Nothing)

Selection 3 I don’t understand what you mean. Could you explain to me more clearly? (Ray)

Selection 4 Jumin…. Have you detected anything strange between V and the prime minister (Ray)

Selection 5 I’d like to know…what was on your mind. (Nothing)

Selection 6 I’m worried that thing will get too complicated. (Ray)

Selection 7 Why don’t you tell everything and ask for help? (Ray)

Selection 8 It’s beautiful. (Nothing)

Selection 9 But there is a way for such flower to survive, isn’t there? Right? (Nothing)

Selection 10 Still, you can’t give up the daffodil. You gotta make it look towards the sun. (V)

Selection 11 Why don’t you take out the rest of the flowers and raise only the daffodil, if you like it that much…? (Nothing)

Selection 12 I…kind of feel bad for the daffodil. (Nothing)

Selection 13 Yes. Sacrifice is noble, but it cannot be the remedy for everything. (Ray)

Selection 14 What was right today could be wrong tomorrow. That’s why we’re always nervous about the future…. (Nothing)

Selection 15 That’s what friends are for. You can count on your friends. (Jumin)

Selection 16 Could it be…..? (Nothing)

Selection 17 Uh…ok. (Nothing)

Selection 18 I think this one won’t be easy. (Ray)

Selection 19 I think I’ve seen daffodils here. (Nothing)

Selection 20 …Don’t you think there’s a reason why V can’t accept the truth? (Ray)

Selection 21 I have something to deal with too. (Nothing)

18:52 – Evil Within Me

Selection 1

It must have been a mixture of guilt and longing for Rika… (Nothing)

Selection 2 I don’t think V would be shaken so easily. (V)

Selection 3 A true friend should tell the truth without hesitation. Don’t you think that’s what friendship is? (Jumin)

Selection 4 I’m sorry. It seems your slump is lasting longer than I thought…. (Zen)

Selection 5 Don’t let that get to you, and have faith in yourself! (Ray)

Selection 6 A solution from pain leads to another pain. (Ray)

Selection 7 Good evening – (Nothing)

Selection 8 Jumin, what do you think is the message White wants to deliver? (Nothing)

Selection 9 I think it’ll be difficulr for you, Zen…since you’re so kindhearted…. (Nothing)

Selection 10 Perhaps you’re tired of your father’s repeated marriage? (Nothing)

Selection 11 I think this role will be a major challenge for you T_T (Zen)

Selection 12 Acting isn’t your area of expertise. You shouldn’t push yourself, Jumin. (Nothing)

Selection 13 I just pictured him smiling… And is it just me, or is it kind of chilly here? (Zen)

Selection 14 Jumin, would you recommend me a party guest? (Nothing)

Selection 15 Still, he might be able to help you with the main event! (Nothing)

Selection 16 Is it Mrs. Kim? (Nothing)

Selection 17 Oh… But that’s what he’s supposed to do. (Nothing)

Selection 18 Then tell him to send me an email! I’ll ask him. (Email from bodyguard)

Selection 19 That’s right. You should keep that in mind, Zen. (Nothing)

Selection 20 He didn’t call you yet? (Nothing)

Selection 21 So long. (Nothing)

Selection 22 But I think they’re so close. (Nothing)

Selection 23 Really? That’s great! That’ll help you to practice. (Zen)

Selection 24 Good luck! (Nothing)

20:49 – Suddenly Afraid

Selection 1 Yes, Ray… Are you alright? (Ray)

Selection 2 Is there something wrong? (Nothing)

Selection 3 I also feel excited ever since I met you. (Ray)

Selection 4 I want to make you happy too..! So let’s cheer up, ok? (Ray)

Selection 5 I like you just the way you are…. Please don’t think like that. (Ray)

Selection 6 Please stop blaming yourself, Ray…! (Ray)

Selection 7 I like you, Ray. I really do… Why won’t you trust me? (Ray)

Selection 8 Please don’t say that. You’re so precious to me…. (Ray)

Selection 9 But I like you just the way you are…. I am sad. (Ray)

Selection 10 Ray, I wish you’d have more faith in yourself. (Ray)

Selection 11 But I think this place does no good to you, Ray. (Ray)

Selection 12 I think we should leave this place… Do you think we can do that? (Ray)

Selection 13 Let’s talk face to face… Could you do that for me? (Ray)

Selection 14 You’re leaving now…? (Nothing)

GAME BRANCH

Story mode – Oh where oh where has my extreme self pity boy gone?

- (Go outside.) - Savior…where are you going? - (Stay just a bit longer.) - Ray! - That’s not true, Ray! Stay with me for a bit. - That’s right. I don’t despise you. - You’re free to follow what your mind and heart desire. - Stop tormenting yourself, Ray. Look at me.

[takaraphoenix]

For the fake exes prompt, Hijack with the house egging prompt?

‘im egging your house for a dare but your parent is a cop and they’re yelling at me so i told them that you were my ex and you wronged me and now you’re coming outside and please go along with this i don’t want to go to jail’ au

It was Halloween. Not necessarily Hiccup's favorite holiday, it was just too loud. He had never been much of a fan. So he was laying on his bed, sketching dragons while his younger step-brother was pacing the room, trying to put on his costume.

"You're a... marshmallow?", asked Hiccup curiously.

"What. No. I'm a robot", grunted Hiro offended. "You know, that big thing Tadashi is building."

Putting his sketch-book down, Hiccup took a closer look. "Right. You kind of do look like Baymax. Heh. That's adorable. Somehow, I expected something... less adorable from you."

"Why? He's our adorable little baby brother, Hiccup."

Hiro turned to glare fiercely at Tadashi as the oldest Haddock-Hamada brother was leaning against the doorway of the bedroom. Hiccup smiled faintly at them and picked his pencil up again. He loved his brothers very dearly. They had met through Hiro, who kept getting into trouble and kept getting himself and Tadashi, who always tried to bail him out, arrested. Repeatedly. Stoick Haddock, Hiccup's father, was the captain of the police station. Him and Cass Hamada started talking, about being single-parents, about their nerdy sons. And then they started talking outside of the police station, started dating. Now, Hiccup had a loving mother and two brothers.

"But you're not using Halloween as an excuse to go to another one of your bot-fights, right?"

"Tada—ashi, have some faith in your adorable little baby brother!", exclaimed Hiro offended.

Both Tadashi and Hiccup gave him an utterly unimpressed look at that, until he cracked. "Okay, okay, your accusations are not unfunded, however I actually do have plans with my friends."

"Friends", echoed Tadashi in disbelief, shaking his head. "My little baby brother, finally having friends. What are your plans then, Hiro?"

"Miguel is having a karaoke party at his place. Ever since his grandma stopped hating music, it's always a blast at their place", replied Hiro excitedly, bouncing a little.

"...Who's all going?", asked Hiccup curiously, exchanging a look with Tadashi.

"Well, Cupcake's coming. And Pippa. Monty. The twins, Caleb and Claude...", drawled Hiro.

"A—and Jamie Bennett?", asked both Tadashi and Hiccup at the same time.

"I mean, of course he is", grumbled Hiro, trying to hide his blush. "Whatever. I have places to be and cool people to hang out with. You two... stay here, be nerds, whatever."

His older brothers laughed while Hiro stormed out of the room. Teasing him was most definitely the most fun. Tadashi tilted his head as he looked at Hiccup, until Hiccup put his pen down again.

"What is it, Dashi?", asked Hiccup.

"Nothing. Just... wondering what your plans are", replied Tadashi casually before sitting down on the edge of Hiccup's bed. "Fred's throwing a costume-party. Everyone will be there. You could... come along too, you know. They'd be happy to see you."

"They're primarily your friends", grunted Hiccup and rolled his eyes.

"Okay. And why aren't you doing something with your friends then?", challenged Tadashi.

Hiccup paused at that. He had friends. But... if he was being honest, contact with them had kind of... run out, a bit. All his friends – Astrid, Snotlout, Tuffnut and Ruffnut – had gone to the sports-college. Astrid even had a boyfriend now; Eret. Hiccup should probably spend more time with his friends, but he felt like they were drifting apart; different interests, different colleges. As happened a lot with high school friendships, guessed Hiccup. Fishlegs, he was attending SFIT. The two had always been best friend, but nowadays Fishlegs was quite distracted with his new girlfriend – Heather, a girl Astrid had befriended in college. Hiccup... had a crush; one that wasn't going to lead anywhere anyway either so that wasn't an issue.

"C'mon, Hiccup. You can't spend all evening cooped up here", prodded Tadashi. "It's Halloween."

"You say that like it means something to me", drawled Hiccup dryly. "I am... not a fan of this day. You, go and dress up and have fun with the others. I'm happy right here."

Tadashi heaved a defeated sigh. "Okay, okay. I give up. Enjoy your solitude."

Hiccup rolled his eyes as Tadashi finally left. He was perfectly fine being right here. He didn't need to be among many people. He knew if the twins were there, there was going to be a lot of alcohol and nonsense and also it was kind of a frat party... which... especially when one wasn't even from that college, didn't seem very appealing. His mind wandered a little. His kind of crush had asked him to go trick or treating, but Jack was going with his own friends and Hiccup would feel awkward being kind of a fifth wheel there. Still, the idea of seeing Jack in a costume – any costume...

Hiccup blushed and glared at his drawing. He had been drawing Jack. Again. He kept doing that. It wasn't his fault; Jack was... amazing. Jackson Overland-St. North. The adopted son of their newest teacher at SFIT – Nicholas St. North, an absolute genius inventor. Jack was attending the art-college, where Honey Lemon was going too (and Cass insisted Hiccup should go too, but Hiccup focused on his education at SFIT, dual studies seemed just too much).

Jack was breathtaking, with his sparkly brown eyes and messy hazel hair, that mischievous, impish grin of his. And oh, he was so talented. And cheeky. Whenever he came over to SFIT, mostly to visit his adopted father and bring him lunch. They talked. Sometimes, Jack and Hiccup. And Hiccup, he had developed the biggest crush on Jack, only that he didn't know how to say it.

His pen scratched sharply over the paper as he heard loud noises from downstairs.

/break\

"I dare you to egg the house."

"Eugene, no", sighed Rapunzel, shaking her head at her boyfriend.

Eugene just grinned broadly and kissed his girlfriend's cheek before turning toward their shared best friend. "C'mon, Jack. It totally is your turn. It'll be fun."

And Jack allowed himself to be dared into it. Only that when the owners noticed and came out, there was a brief moment of utter terror overcoming both Jack and Eugene. That was the police captain, Stoick Haddock. Not only captain of the police station where Jack and Eugene may or may not be semi-regular guests for entirely unjustified reasons (minor pranks! And graffiti should not count as vandalism in Jack's opinion), he was also a wall of a man, so tall and broad. His upper arms were the size of Jack's head! Absolutely terrified did the boys stand there.

"What is the meaning of this?", barked Stoick out.

His wife, Cass Hamada (oh no. She was friends with Toothiana. Jack was never going to hear the end of this!), was right behind him, looking both concerned and disappointed. Eugene winced and tried to hide behind Jack, who just rolled his eyes at him. This was a problem. It became even more of a problem when Hiccup Haddock joined them outside – and oh. Maybe Jack should have seen the relations between Captain Haddock and Jack's crush... Jack winced.

"Did you brats seriously just egg the house of the police captain?", grunted Stoick unimpressed.

"I... I... I...", stammered Jack in distress. "I did it because Hiccup broke my heart."

Everyone stared at him in utter surprise at that, especially Hiccup. Jack tried to convey his intention to the other boy. Maybe Stoick would have pity with him – Cass certainly would – if they thought this was about a bad breakup. Please. He couldn't be taken to the precinct again. Nick and Toothiana had a limit to how often they were willing to bail him out...

"What? Hiccup!", exclaimed Cass, sounding very disappointed. "Why would you-"

There was silence for a moment as Hiccup stared at Jack pointedly, before he caved. "Yes. I... broke up with him because there was this... big project I had to work on. I had no time for distraction."

"Distraction?" The disappointment seemed to grow. "Hiccup Haddock, you will go and apologize to this boy and right that. I know your studies are very important to you, but you can't keep neglecting your social life. I expect that boy to come over for dinner next week!"

She ushered Hiccup outside before, impressively enough, dragging Stoick back inside before he could put his two cents in. Hiccup looked kind of lost as he approached Jack, Eugene and Rapunzel.

"That is one way of getting a boyfriend", noted Eugene surprised. "I mean, she definitely expects the two of you to 'get back together'. Come on, Raps, let's check on Lance and leave them to it."

Rapunzel smiled amused at Jack before the couple left. Blushing, Jack ducked his head when he noticed how much Hiccup was staring at him. And okay, he did look different. White-dyed hair, blue contacts, make-up to make him look paler than normal.

"Who... are you?", asked Hiccup softly. "I mean, the costume."

"I'm... Periwinkle", muttered Jack embarrassed, tugging on his fairy-wing. "Jamie's little sister wanted to be Tinkerbell but she didn't want to do it alone. My little sister dressed up as Bobble. You know, from the Tinkerbell movies. Periwinkle is Tinkerbell's snow-fairy-twin."

Hiccup nodded, his own cheeks red too. "That's... really cute. I mean, of you, for the girls."

"Yeah, we took them trick or treating. They're with... Eugene's friend Lance", nodded Jack slowly. "So... all of that was very embarrassed. I'm sorry, that was the first thing that came to my mind."

"It's... okay. I don't know how to explain to my mom that we 'didn't make up', but..."

"I mean we could just... you know...", suggested Jack with a daring look on his face. "Get together."

"...What", whispered Hiccup stunned.

"Do you wanna go out with me?", clarified Jack, cheeks red. "I... uh... like you."

"I like you too", replied Hiccup, ruffling his hair. "I'd... heh. I'd really like that."

Smiling brightly, Jack leaned in to kiss Hiccup's cheek before taking his hand. "C'mon. We're trick or treating and afterward, we're meeting at Moana's."

"What? I'm not even in costume, I-", protested Hiccup, just to be tugged along.

"Why? You're dressed as Hot Nerd. It's one of the top costumes of the year", teased Jack.

Hiccup simply sputtered as he was being pulled along, unable to argue with his boyfriend.

[kylo-but-not-to-me-ren]

Thoughts on The Rise of Skywalker

Just a disclaimer that this post contains TROS spoilers 

Hi there, it’s me again sharing my views on the latest Star Wars as a Reylo, fan and former film student (the latter may show at some point but it’s mostly a fan view). 

I had pretty high expectations for this movie and I was not not happy leaving the screening, but I had some things that I thought would go down differently so here’s what I think. 

Rey

I really like how organic Rey and Kylo’s connection and intimacy is portrayed in The Last Jedi, and J.J. expanded a bit on that which I think it’s very nice (and apparently they can teleport things via ForceSkype now which is an interesting take but I understand the reasoning). 

One thing that I didn’t really like is that Rey is a Palpatine. I’ve seen one theory on this and it makes sense now, yet I was a great supporter of the theory that Rey was really a nobody, that she came from nothing like Kylo said. She could’ve been just like Anakin who didn’t have either Jedi nor Sith ancestors. 

On a more positive note, Rey’s conflict with herself is an ongoing theme in this trilogy and I believe it was really well developed and has come to a satisfying conclusion. I felt like she was a bit lost in the beginning and I thought it was going to be an issue later on but thankfully it got better before it was too late. 

Also Rey is so goddamn powerful and strong with the Force I love her so much.

When Rey and Kylo are battling in the old Death Star and she stabs him with his own lightsaber but then she feels Leia’s gone and immediately realises what she has done and without second thought she kneels to heal Ben crying. My heart exploded I felt so many things at once I can’t explain. 

“I wanted to take your hand. Ben’s hand.” hsdcsgfyufgyufgeryfcgeif i died. 

The ForceSkype teleporting feature I ALMOST FAINTED BECAUSE I GENUINELY THOUGHT SHE WAS GOING TO KILL BEN INSTEAD OF PAPLS WHEN THEY EXCHANGED LOOKS I WAS SO RELIEVED AND HAPPY WHEN SHE GAVE HIM ANI’S BLUE LIGHTSABER. 

DARK REY WITH HER DOUBLE RED LIGHTSABER. 

THAT YELLOW LIGHTSABER. I WANT IT. NOW. 

Also maybe that “I am all the Jedi” line is a nudge to Avengers: Endgame? (*cof* hi Disney *cof*) 

Kylo Ren/Ben Solo 

Next up is ma boi Kylo Ben, who has been my favourite character this whole trilogy and hell Adam Driver portrayed him so wonderfully. In TLJ he grew so much as a character, not only as a villain but a person who went through a lot, has an abusive master and is constantly being haunted by the guilt of killing his father. 

To start this off, I want to talk about those first scenes. OH MY GOD KYLO TAKING ALL THOSE PEOPLE IN THE FOREST IN SLOW MOTION AND HIS SOLO JOURNEY TO EXEGOL. After that I got mad at Palps when one of his first lines was “I have been every voice you have ever heard inside your head” because it means Ben has been manipulated his whole life and didn’t really have a choice other than turn to the dark side. 

Kylo’s arc is by far my favourite and in my (completely biased) opinion the best written one. When he’s introduced in TFA, he’s a promise of a new Vader but he’s not quite there yet. Kylo has conflict inside him, a spark of light still, and to put out that spark once and for all he’s instructed by his master to kill Han Solo, but as we’ve seen it has “split his spirit to the bone”, to quote Snoke. 

Later on in TLJ when the ForceSkype starts we begin to see more of Kylo’s vulnerable side, specially when Rey is talking to him in the hut. Kylo takes his fcking glove off to take Rey’s hand and that’s when Reylo became canon and you can’t change my mind. 

Fast forward to TROS, Kylo is already the Supreme Leader and he’s as strong as Rey (but most likely more skilled because he had extensive training while Rey had only a few lessons and read some books?) and they are Force Dyads which makes them absurdly powerful together. 

One thing I noticed is that every time Rey and Kylo claim to have seen the future both of them are always on the same side, either Dark or Light, but always together. They’ve never mentioned a future where they are apart and/or on different sides. *all the Reylo feels*

Then when both are battling in the old Death Star and Rey stabs him but heals him shortly after and Ben is ready to let Kylo Ren die to become Ben Solo again is brilliant. And that dialog with Han made me shed a tear or two. (a random side note is that I got a tiny bit upset when he threw his lightsaber away because his lightsaber is so cool and I just got one myself but I absolutely understand the need to get rid of it). 

I WAS SO HAPPY WHEN MY BABY BEN SOLO BURST INTO PALPATINE’S CHAMBERS (?) WITH ONLY A BLASTER AND LOOKED SO GOOD. Also I almost cried when he took the blue saber and beat the shit out of the Knights of Ren. 

LITERALLY THE RISE OF SKYWALKER. 

BEN HUGGING REY’S BODY RIGHT BEFORE RESURRECTING HER. 

“Ben”

THE KISS. THAT SMILE.

BEN SOLO DESERVED BETTER. 

And yes, I believe Ben Solo isn’t truly dead and Rey can help him come back and they can live happily like they deserve to be. 

Thank you Adam Driver for being the highlight of this movie (and dare I say, trilogy) and bless us with amazing acting. 

Poe Dameron 

I love Poe, he’s great and I loved that they gave him more screen time and I get they were trying to build another trio like in the OT but maybe making Poe, who was already a great pilot like Han also be a former (spice) smuggler is a bit much? We could use new characters and it’s okay if you wanna recycle the idea but please don’t make them identical. 

Another very important point is why do you need to make up a female love interest for Poe when there’s clearly one already? During the whole movie I felt a sexual tension between Finn and Poe just not to have them together in the end, I was very disappointed. MAKE STORMPILOT CANON YOU COWARDS. 

Finn 

To be honest, Finn is not one of my favourite characters and I believe it’s mostly due to poor writing. Finn is a great character and had so much potential being a deserter of the First Order but his arc wasn’t so well developed in the trilogy as a whole and one of the arcs I least enjoyed in TLJ was Finn and Rose’s adventure in Canto Bight. It all felt like a distraction even though they were doing something seemingly important but failed at the end. 

In TROS, Finn finds a group of other Stormtrooper deserters and I thought maybe it’d push his storyline forward but not so much. I was a bit disappointed but there were also lots of other things happening that I didn’t pay much attention to Finn, one of the reasons being that I already didn’t care much about him before so now it was kind of meh. 

I said it before and I’ll say it again, MAKE STORMPILOT CANON. 

A positive thing on Finn is that now they explored how Finn is Force-sensitive and now he finally realised he doesn’t need to run away and is willing to fight. 

Rose Tico

As I’ve mentioned before, her arc with Finn wasn’t my favourite in TLJ but that’s okay because you can’t make everyone happy all the time, yet I saw many people complaining about her character and even Kelly was attacked that she left social media. And now there were so many complaints that they decided to basically ignore Rose and she’s in like three scenes. 

I don’t think they even gave a plausible explanation why Rose couldn’t come along with Finn, Poe and Rey other than the fans didn’t like her character and they were trying to recreate the original trio. 

General Hux

Well, to be honest I was almost certain he would die at some point but killing him off like that? He deserved a bit of dignity. But his scenes were funny, which I’m not sure if it’s good or bad because he’s a First Order general so... he’s supposed to be more serious, I guess? 

As weird as it is, I kinda get his motives for being the spy, to see Kylo Ren fall so he could ascend to the Supreme Leader position, but things didn’t work out but at least we got a bit of that Kylux tension, right? *sigh* 

Knights of Ren 

One of my great disappointments of this movie.

They didn’t say a word, were only referred as murderers (not sure about the word exactly but it was something like that), had a couple of fight scenes and died. I wish they made an appearance in TLJ but they were only mentioned in Rey’s vision and Snoke mentioned them once but that was it.

They had some really impressive costumes and weapons, though. 

Overall a great movie, lots of nostalgia, would recommend.

So there it is, my thoughts on The Rise of Skywalker after watching it for the first time. Please feel free to share your thoughts as well and let’s talk :)

[bbq-hawks-wings]

There are times when we get caught up in black and white, either/or, and all or nothing. We forget sometimes to breathe, step back, and find the gray in between. Sometimes we recognize that those hard lines in the sand are drawn more out of habit than any concrete reasoning we can immediately muster, and that there isn't really a justifiable reason to place such great emphasis on separating the thing in question in the first place. Opinions on evaluations of fictional characters are held in extremes as marks of character and points of contention within fandom far and above what they usually should be.

For many, fandom is a form of escape above mere entertainment. Comfort characters garner a following of people who often share enough commonality to bolster each other and bind them together in support as they cheer on and vicariously live through each and every one of that character's victories. Occasionally, though, these characters can end up having the exact opposite effect.

Even putting my personal feelings about Takami Keigo aside, I've always been fascinated by what he objectively is as an anime character. Though I fully recognize that removing myself from the equation is difficult, if I had to put my impression of what he is in the industry into words I'd say he feels like lightning in a bottle. It's not often in anime I find a character with such an appealing and striking visual design within his own series and next to characters of any other series, alongside such an endearing and clearly defined characterization in the way he's written and the way he acts - the whole combination of which is more powerful than the sum of its parts is something I can only describe as plain and simply "appealing" - and the mundaness of the word betrays the profound extent to which that definition applies. Almost anyone in the world could look at that character with no prior knowledge and say and say, "I like him." Almost anyone who might venture to look a little deeper would probably say at the very least, "Yup, I can appreciate that character exists" even if it stopped there.

There's likely far more of these kinds of characters in anime than I give them credit for, but Hawks has struck a chord with me in particular that resonates far more than most other examples I could think of. He's done the same with many more, I know. I am not the only Hawks-centered meta/analysis blog on this site alone by any stretch of the imagination. I wouldn't be surprised if my own more-often-than-not, self-indulgent interpretation of events has however many more rolling their eyes at my work. I experience the same thing myself on occasion in regards to content I disagree with (all in good faith, please understand - we all have different tastes and viewpoints and that's a good thing), but in this particular context I find something exceptionally bittersweet in it.

For some, it's simply bitter because they place an emotional stake in the ultimate fate of Takami Keigo far above what I do - something that's much more personal and valuable than I often realize; or maybe I do, but those reasons why simply strike far more deep and personal for others than I can personally relate to.

From the very beginning Hawks has been framed in the moral gray of the greater context of the My Hero Academia lore. He is not all good but not all bad. The way he interacts with others comes across as cold and calculating, but his inner thoughts betray a warmth and depth that's deeply endearing. The contrast of the massive good he seeks to do despite the profound wickedness of his upbringing has captured the hearts of many and has them thinking more or less the same thing, "This character has such an undeniable amount of good in his heart that he deserves to end up happy after all the pain he's been through."

"He deserves to be free. He shouldn't have to be alone anymore. He should do what makes him happy, not anyone else." Every single Hawks fan I've heard from has echoed these same core sentiments, though it's taken many forms.

Herein lies the near paradox of his fanbase, ironically befitting his ambiguous nature: the very traits that endear him to individual fans are often the context and lens by which they define the key to the ultimate happiness they want for him, and that spectrum is a wide one to the point of having one of the most diverse dedicated fanbases to a single character I've ever seen.

Just as an easy example, for someone who latched onto the fact he was used like a literal tool for others' gain, they may see the key to Hawks' happiness in rebellion - kicking the system, fighting the man, going apeshit for once next to people who also are tired of being trampled over.

For someone who recognizes his unwavering desire to do good and help others despite his developmental environment may see him being handed the reins of his own life back to him as his ticket - to have the choice of saying yes or no, to be able to keep going or just fly away merely because he wants to.

I have to pause and emphasize that they key to understanding both perspectives is catharsis for the audience in question, and while I have my own opinions as to which is more befitting to the character as written, I am placing equal emphasis on both interpretations as valid reasons to root for the ultimate outcome in each scenario.

This is all in response to comments I've received thanking me for being so steadfast and vocal in my insistence that while Hawks' formal allegiance may change, his heart and the way he feels towards heroes in general will not. I may have my personal preference and own interpretation of what that will look like in the end, but the key takeaway is that I don't see him bucking the entire heart of the hero movement in hopes to get back at the Hero Commission.

However, that isn't to say I don't understand or look down upon those who either genuinely have come to a different conclusion or would just rather see it happen because it would be more satisfying or interesting for them in particular. I also wouldn't be sore if it ended up coming to pass assuming the buildup to that point felt appropriate and genuine as I don't see it as an impossibility for his character. For me, it doesn't have to be a point of contention driving a wedge between different Hawks fans.

So if you ever feel frustrated or upset at the amount of support in your preference or lack thereof in your desired direction, don't let it get to you. While others have their own reasons for wanting the ending they want, the overall result they want from him is more than likely the same as you.

I asked a completely informal poll giving people an either/or ultimatum for where fans personally wanted him to end up, purposely leaving out a potential third option; but the replies I got overwhelmingly echoed the same one regardless of the false either/or I intentionally planted, "I have my preferences for where I want him to end up, but really all I want is for him to be free and do what he wants in the end because it's what HE wants to do."

That's amazing!

Simply by virtue of my own audience or the way it rippled through the community it could be biased in any direction, but when at least HALF of the total responses say, "Neither" in some capacity regardless of a forced preference I think it's safe to say that we all have a lot more in common regarding this character than we often realize, and he isn't even real!

Hawks was always gray on purpose, and I really hope at the end of his arc we get something that pulls together and unites the other characters in the series as well as the fans because I think that's the point of his character to begin with. I doubt everyone will be completely happy with the outcome off the bat, but as long as it's genuinely satisfying from a character development standpoint I hope we can pull together in support knowing we can't always get what we want, but it was a good run - plus there's always fan fiction for when the author got it wrong!

For real, though, let's get excited together. Find your corner, but follow the character not the crowd. You don't have to think of them as perfect, and sometimes the characters that even end up disappointing us the most stick with us longer. We can always dig a little deeper to find out why they did what they did, or why we want something so badly for them, and even just acknowledge when we just want what we want because we want it. That doesn't make us bad people or bad fans. Fiction is usually written to be enjoyed - HeroAca definitely not an exception to that general rule - and tastes in entertainment vary far and wide. Any one series with that variety of expectations aimed at it just can't satisfy everyone so I'd personally rather it stick to the story it was trying to tell from the beginning instead of succumbing to a popularity vote, even if I didn't get the ending I wanted.

I just hope this was a comfort to some of you and an olive branch to others in case you were feeling down about how others viewed your comfort character or just caught up in another ultimately pointless fandom war because it happens. Maybe we can even use it as an exercise to see things from another viewpoint to understand their perspective and realizing it's okay to agree to disagree. I don't want to put this in the character tags because I think there are plenty that don't need or want this content but still those that do who will find and share it in confidence. This isn't about sides or even being right. Let's enjoy our favorite character together and watch him be happy in the end, however that ends up being.

[roman-writing]

two, across (5/8)

Fandom: Fire Emblem Three Houses

Pairing: Hilda Valentine Goneril / Lysithea von Ordelia

Rating: T

Wordcount: 7,492

Summary: Lysithea can barely keep afloat under the workload of giving undergrad lectures and finishing off her PhD thesis. Meanwhile Dr. Hilda V. Goneril is somehow both the laziest person as well as the most successful young professor she has ever known. It’s absolutely aggravating.  

Read it here on AO3 or read it below the cut

The fact that Lysithea manages to last nearly four hours at the bar after her epiphany is nothing short of valiant. She spends a great deal of that time stealing furtive glances at Hilda, who eventually notices and teases her with a rakish smile and a quip of: "Do I have something on my face? Or am I just that good looking?"

Whereas normally Lysithea would have rolled her eyes and fired back with a sarcastic remark, now she flushes and changes the topic as quickly as possible. Hilda laughs, but lets it go, which allows Lysithea to breathe easier. If she had continued to tease, Lysithea doesn't know what she would have done. 

As it is, Hilda invites her over, and looks disappointed but not unhappy when Lysithea declines. 

"I should probably make sure my flatmates remember what I look like," Lysithea says. 

Hilda gives a theatrical sigh. "Their gain is my loss. I'll see you later, then!"

When they part at the train station, Lysithea thinks that's the end of that for the evening, but then Hilda pops up on a different platform in full view. They end up miming at each other across the tracks, until Lysithea hears a train coming, at which point her phone buzzes in her pocket. Lysithea fires back a few texts of her own until her train pulls up along the platform. 

As she sits down and the doors close, she can still see Hilda bowed over her own phone on the platform over. Lysithea's phone pings in her hand and vibrates. She tightens her hold around it, and watches Hilda for as long as she can until the train carries her away down the tracks. 

Somehow it feels like she's left her stomach behind on the platform.

That heavy sensation in her gut doesn't go away when she arrives back at her own apartment. When she steps inside, Raphael pokes his head out of his room, having to duck down so as not to smack his forehead against the lintel. His face brightens with pleased surprise at the sight of her taking off her shoes in the entryway.

"Hey! Lysithea's actually back! Hey, Lysithea!"

"Hi," she waves at him, trying to summon up a smile that she knows must appear glum in spite of her best efforts.

He ducks through the door, concern written across his face. "What's wrong? I thought you and the dean had solved everything, and you were submitting today?"

"No, no. Everything's fine," Lysithea lies. "I submitted today."

In response, her flatmate gives a great whoop, and lifts her off the ground in a bear hug that leaves her gasping past a few crushed ribs. She pats him on the back until he lets her go.

"Well done! That's so exciting! Hey, Ignatz! Did you hear?" Raphael sets her down on the ground, and immediately races off, barging into Ignatz's room to deliver the good news. 

Lysithea takes the opportunity to sneak off to her own room, and shut the door. She leans against the door, her head falling back and her eyes falling shut. She takes a long moment to steady her breathing, but it does nothing to slow the hammering of her heart in her chest. 

Her phone buzzes in her pocket, and her heart rate doubles in an instant. Cautiously, Lysithea unlocks her phone. A surge of mingled relief and disappointment floods through her when she sees that it's Edelgard texting her this time. 

The fact that she's disappointed makes her irritated at herself. She sends a reply to Edelgard confirming that her thesis was submitted, and gets back an immediate text that's just a single exclamation point. 

Briefly, Lysithea considers ringing Edelgard up and telling her about her latest revelation, but the very idea makes her face redden. Instead, she drops her bag onto the ground, walks over to her bed -- which has remained pristine and untouched for ages now -- and flops facefirst onto the mattress. 

Her phone buzzes and chimes again. Lysithea groans into the sheets. For a moment she doesn't move. Then, sluggish, she glances at what texts she has received in the last forty seconds. 

Hilda has sent through a blurry picture of her laptop on her bed, a tub of Lysithea's favourite flavoured ice cream, and the latest big horror show on Netflix. The very title screen of the show makes a prickle of fear run down Lysithea's spine. The picture is captioned with: 'Look at what you're missing out on' 

She furiously sends back an answering text. 'You are an asshole.' 

Hilda laughs in return, and even though it's all in the form of way too many emojis, Lysithea can still hear the ghost of her laughter as though she were back at Hilda's apartment, sitting beside her on the bed. 

Lysithea flings her phone further away on her own mattress, and grabs a pillow so she can bury her head in it. It doesn't help. 

Later that night, it takes her forever to fall asleep. Everything about her own room feels off, like she's sleeping in a stranger's house. She tosses and turns, until finally, grumbling all the while, she creates a vaguely human-shape in the bed beside her with a number of spare pillows. Pillow-Hilda lacks the warmth of the real deal. 

Lysithea hates the fact that she has allowed herself to grow so accustomed to sleeping beside another person. 

--

The weekend passes without incident. Lysithea is at a loss for how to fill her time now that she no longer has to worry about her thesis. She finishes her lecture notes and power point presentations for the entire next week, and then twiddles her thumbs until she finally relents and keys in her phone's passcode.

There are a heap of texts and replies from both Hilda and Edelgard. Her thumb hovers a phone number. She chews anxiously on her lower lip for a solid minute, before gathering up enough courage to actually hit the button.

The dial tone rings a few times, and Lysithea is tempted to hang up and pretend that nobody is going to answer. But then Edelgard picks up.

"Congratulations again," Edelgard says by way of a greeting, and her voice is warm.

"Thank you." 

Lysithea is sitting on the couch in the living room. Ignatz is at the art studio, Raphael is at practice, and Marianne is sleeping off her night shift. Lysithea sits on one of her hands, her knees squeezed tightly together, and her heels drumming against the base of the couch. 

There must be something in the tone of Lysithea's voice that clues her in, for Edelgard suddenly sounds sharp and serious. Business mode activated. "Is there something wrong?" 

"No, no!" Lysithea lies. "It's just - It's Hilda."

"What about her?" Edelgard's words are wary. "What has she done?"

"Nothing! She's -! She's great! She's -"

Brilliant. Talented. Funny. Gorgeous. Completely out of her league.

Lysithea has to pause for a moment before she can trust herself to speak without giving it all away. “I only wanted to call to see what you think of her.”

“What I think of her? You realise I’ve never met her, and have only ever spoken to her a handful of times on the phone.” 

“...Yes?”

Edelgard does not answer immediately, and for a brief moment Lysithea fears the connection may have dropped. Then -

“My first impression was that Hilda is far more cunning than she lets on, but also that she has a loyal streak that is hard-earned and runs a mile wide,” Edelgard says with the kind of clinical precision she always employs when discussing stock prices or the abysmal state of the economy. “Why are you asking me this all of a sudden?”

"No particular reason."

"Somehow, I don't believe you," says Edelgard dryly.

"It's not -! It's nothing. Really. Just a stupid crush that will pass."

"A crush," Edelgard repeats.

Even hearing it repeated makes Lysithea's cheeks heat up. God, but it sounds so dumb. A crush. She feels like she's sixteen again, except without the impending threat of death looming over her shoulder.

“Haven’t you been living in her apartment?” Edelgard asks.

“Not technically!” 

“Lysithea.”

Lysithea whines. “Don’t say my name like that.”

“You’re even starting to sound like her, you know.”

“Okay. I’m hanging up now.”

"Wait," Edelgard sighs. "In all honesty, I thought you two were having some sort of casual relationship."

Lysithea jerks the phone away from her to stare at it, before putting it back to her ear and saying incredulously, "When have you ever known me to do anything casual?"

"Alright, that's a fair point."

There's the sound of other faint voices down the other line, then a door opening and closing in the background, as though Edelgard were moving to another room. "And you want my opinion on the matter, do you?"

"Well -" Lysithea plays with the frayed seam of the couch's armrest. "Yes. I suppose I do."

"I think you could do a lot worse."

Frowning, Lysithea asks, "What does that even mean?"

"It means: I personally have very high standards, but I still think she’s a decent sort. It’s not my call, and I will of course support whatever decision you make."

"You're very unhelpful."

Lysithea can hear the exasperation in Edelgard's voice, "Fine. Don't date her, then."

"That's not -!” Lysithea splutters, but can’t admit allowed that that’s the very last thing she wants to do.

"Did you really just call me to confirm what you already know? You have obviously already made up your mind."

"Yeah, but -" Lysithea swallows past an obstruction in her throat. She has begun to pick the thread completely out of its stitching in the couch. It unravels beneath her nervous fingers. "-you know I can't just do that."

For a moment there's silence on the other end. Then Edelgard says softly. "I understand that this may be new territory, but -"

"That's - That's not it. Well, it sort of is." Lysithea sucks in a deep breath, then admits. "I really like her, El."

A long pause follows that statement, and then Edelgard says an emphatic, "Ah."

“You know how it is. I never put much stock in romantic liaisons because -” Lysithea fumbles over how to phrase it in the least macabre way possible, “well, because I always believed the future was no place for me. Becoming involved with someone would be cruel to both parties involved, and one night stands with strangers aren’t exactly my style.”

Edelgard listens quietly, before replying. “But now the prognosis isn’t nearly so grim. We have time. Not as much as we might like, but it’s more than I, for one, ever expected. You shouldn’t give up on chasing the future.”

"Yeah," Lysithea says lamely. She grimaces at how non-committal she sounds even to her own ears. 

"You should talk to her."

"That," Lysithea says, "sounds even more terrifying than returning to the hospital."

"That bad?"

"That bad."

In the background of Edelgard's call, a door creaks open, and Hubert's voice murmurs something. Edelgard's answer is muffled as she places a hand over her phone, and then returns to crystal clarity once more. 

"You have to go," Lysithea prompts before Edelgard can even say anything.

"In just a moment, yes. But I am glad you called, actually. One of our directors lives out your way, and I've arranged for the next board meeting to take place at our building in the city. I should be able to take a bit of time out of my day for a personal visit."

At that, Lysithea perks up. "Really?"

Edelgard chuckles, a low, rich sound. "Yes. I'm only there for a weekend, but I figured we ought to celebrate you finishing your thesis."

"It's still undergoing examination," Lysithea points out. "It's a pass fail, you know. I might not -"

"You will. If it's you, I know you will," Edelgard says firmly. 

"What weekend?"

"Week after next."

Lysithea can feel herself smiling. "That sounds great. I can meet you wherever."

"Fantastic. Bring Hilda."

Lysithea's mouth goes dry. "Wh - What?"

"You heard me. And go talk to her, or else I will call her myself."

"You wouldn't dare. Edelgard. Edelgard!"

The only response is the beep of the call ending. 

--

Lysithea doesn't ring Hilda. In fact, she does not speak to Hilda until the next morning, which in theory doesn't sound like a long time, but in practice is quite a long time for them. She is mildly surprised and concerned that her phone hasn't been lit up with texts or phonecalls for the remainder of her Sunday. She guesses that Hilda is either lazing the day away at her apartment, or out with some of her other friends.

Come Monday morning however, Lysithea sticks staunchly to routine. It would feel strange not to at this point. She arrives at the ground floor of the university with two coffees in hand. As she rounds the corner to the elevators, an irrational spike of fear streaks through her. Perhaps Hilda won't be there. Perhaps she has already messed this up somehow. Perhaps Hilda is already growing bored; she gets bored so easily, after all. It's possible, Lysithea convinces herself.

"Heyoo!" Hilda waves at her by the elevators. The button to call one of the elevators has already been pressed. Hilda makes a grabby motion towards one of the coffees in Lysithea's hands like she's a man happened upon in the desert and dying of thirst. "Ohhh, you have no idea how much I need coffee this morning."

Lysithea hands over the cup. She tries to act casual. "Did you have a good rest of your weekend."

"Meh," Hilda shrugs. "Same old. Same old. Thought about doing laundry. Didn't do it. Went out for a bit. Worked out for a bit. Thought about working on another article. Made some jewelry instead."

The elevator doors open. They both step inside. "How many articles are you going to finish this year?" Lysithea asks, genuinely curious about the answer. She hits the button for the second floor and the elevator doors slid shut.

"Only three."

"Only three," Lysithea repeats, rolling her eyes. The floor counter rapidly rises as they are carried up the various levels of the building. 

Hilda gives a dramatic sigh. "Yes. I'm a shame to my people."

"Who? Sasquatches?" 

"You joke, but like -- yeah. Honestly. I keep forgetting you've never met my family," Hilda says around the lip of her takeaway cup as she takes a sip. "You really should. Then you'll understand."

"Alright," Lysithea says before she can pause to think about the implications of it. 

Hilda pauses and glances over at her. Slowly, she lowers her coffee cup. Behind her pink-lensed sunglasses her eyes rove downwards to Lysithea's chest. It is so blatant that Lysithea blinks in surprise. 

When Hilds takes a step towards her, Lysithea goes tense, but Hilda only reaches up with her free hand, and touches the sweater clip at the end of one of Lysithea's shirt collars. 

"I told you this would look nice on you," Hilda says. 

She toys with the fine gold chain between thumb and forefinger for a moment. Lysithea is frozen in place, unable to move. She almost does something very foolish and impulsive and quite unlike herself, when she is saved by the elevator doors announcing that they have arrived at their floor.

With a smile, Hilda lets go and walks through the elevator doors, leaving Lysithea standing there, heart pounding in her chest like she had just run a half marathon.

She is so flustered for the remainder of the day that she forgets to invite Hilda to lunch with Edelgard. 

--

Over the course of the week, Lysithea debates with herself whether she should even bring Hilda along to meet Edelgard. It doesn't help that Hilda is somehow more distracting than ever. She is sure that Hilda has changed nothing about her behaviour; it is just that Lysithea now notices every little thing that Hilda does. She is convinced that Hilda has always been so liberal with physical touch, but it's difficult to think whenever Hilda catches her staring and flashes a self-satisfied smile.

On Wednesday, Lysithea dares to bring to work the small makeup kit Hilda had given her ages ago. She had thought to try its various products on in her own bathroom, but she has to share one bathroom in her apartment between four people, and it's difficult enough for her to try putting on mascara for only the third time in her life when Raphael is pounding on the door groaning that he's going to be late.

Instead, she sneaks into one of the nice staff bathrooms at the university. The ones that have no stalls, and are just a single private restroom with an enormous mirror and enough bench space that she doesn't have to put her bag on the tiled floor. Pulling out the small makeup kit, Lysithea opens it and then gazes down at its contents, trying to recall all the advice she’d been given. 

Mostly she remembers Hilda touching her face while she had applied the makeup, but not much in the way of Hilda's actual instructions at the time. She had watched a few videos online however, and pulls out foundation and an appropriate brush. 

It's still far more difficult to do than Hilda had made it seem. Then again, Hilda was well versed in these kinds of things, and Lysithea had never wasted precious time with appearances when in the past she had to make every hour count. Now, trying to learn these things as an adult makes her feel clumsy and flustered. 

Lysithea takes her time. She applies a light and even layer of foundation, but then hesitates over eyeshadow. 

What was it Hilda had said? Bold makeup for stage, and subtle makeup for intimate interactions? A concept which only confronted her with the fact that she very much wanted to have ‘intimate interactions’ with Hilda, whose bed she had been sharing for weeks if not longer, but which she had never considered before this moment. 

Lysithea has to pause to collect herself; she nearly dies of mortification right there over the sink. 

Finally, she just picks a colour at random. Something subtle. Not too much colour unless someone were to stand very close and look at her. Eyeliner, mascara, and then Lysithea is packing everything away before her presence is either noticed as missing, or someone else needs the restroom.

Later in the afternoon, Hilda knocks on the door to Lysithea's office before pushing it open without waiting for an answer. She strides in, idly fiddling with a pen, and sits on the desk beside where Lysithea had been typing away at her computer. 

"Hey! I was just going to -" Hilda breaks off what she was going to say, and leans closer with a glint in her eye. “Ohh! Is that purple eyeshadow from one of the samples I gave you? What’s the occasion?” She gives the pen a mischievous twirl between her fingers. “Who’s the lucky guy?”

Lysithea can feel her cheeks burn, but she doesn’t push her chair away from the table. “There’s no guy.” 

“Girl, then. Or -- you know --” Hilda clicks the pen multiple times, “- person. Whatever.”

“Why does there have to be a person at all?”

“Dressing up just to feel nice?” Hilda taps the pen against the underside of Lysithea’s chin, and winks. “You really are taking my advice! And here I thought you never listened to me.”

Lysithea snatches the pen from Hilda’s fingers. “I listen when you say something worth listening to. And this is mine!”

Hilda just shrugs. “Yeah, I stole it from you two months ago. Thought you would’ve noticed sooner, to be honest.” She pushes off from Lysithea’s desk, and starts walking down the hallway, talking all the while. “Anyway, let’s get coffee before your big date. I need caffeine before facing the horrible gremlins in Chem 104.”

“There’s no date!” Lysithea insists, but she is already following Hilda past the communal office kitchenette and lounge area.  

"Why not? I thought you were sooo 'dateable'."

"That's -! I mean -! I am!"

“I’m very convinced right now,” Hilda says dryly.

Normally they had their conversations at work in the morning when nobody else was around. Now however the offices are scattered with people, and the two of them are beginning to attract a few stares. Or maybe it is just the first time Lysithea notices that other people are noticing them. Indeed, at least one of their colleagues just shakes his head with a rueful chuckle and returns to marking a stack of papers. 

It strikes her then that if Edelgard had thought she and Hilda we're dating -- even casually -- that others might, too. Lysithea seems to be the last person on the planet to know.

--

By the time the weekend comes around, Lysithea starts making up excuses as to why she can’t go over to Hilda’s apartment like she used to. At first it’s easy. Everyone in her apartment is lending a hand for a big spring clean, now that the snows have started to melt away and they can actually put things outside. Then, there's an apartment inspection by the landlord's agent that she needs to be present for, because all of her other flatmates have other commitments at that time. Not to mention, Lysithea wants to catch up on writing her lectures, so she doesn't have to do them so last minute during the week.

Hilda never complains, or even seems to mind. She accepts every reason -- even the most screwball excuses Lysithea can think of on the spot -- with a laugh and the promise to catch up some other time. 

Eventually, Lysithea knows she will just have to grit her teeth and talk, but for now it's much easier to avoid having any sort of serious conversation. The very idea makes her feel sick. It's a new sensation; nothing about Hilda has ever made her feel ill before. And yet somehow it's better than the possibility that the moment Lysithea admits any sort of deeper feeling, Hilda would laugh, or scoff, or be scornful, or worse. 

At least she has Hilda now. She's far too selfish to risk giving that up.

--

'CAITIFF.' Hilda points to the clue for three down, and Lysithea writes it into the little boxes on the newspaper. 

It is the morning of Tuesday of the next week, the week Edelgard arrives, and Lysithea still hasn't said anything. She takes a drink of her coffee, handing the pen over to Hilda so she can write the next few clues. 

"What's another word for a ‘golden coated horse’?," Hilda asks. 

Lysithea hums, and lowers her takeaway cup. “PALOMINO.”

"Oh. Duh,” Hilda mutters at herself. 

As Hilda is scrawling in the answer on the crossword puzzle, Lysithea studies the side of her face as discreetly as she can. She has seen Hilda wear some outrageous makeup before, but only on nights where they were going out to Claude’s or elsewhere. Today she is most definitely wearing something more subtle.

She is quietly observing how long Hilda’s eyelashes are, when Hilda asks without looking up from the newspaper, “You know, I haven’t seen any big boxes come in the mail for you lately. Did you tell her the keys to the Maserati were too much?”

Lysithea frowns. “Edelgard has never given me the keys to a sports car before.”

“She hasn’t? Well, that’s just outrageous, isn’t it?”

“If you must know, she hasn’t sent anything this month because -” Lysithea focuses on the crossword puzzle and tries to sound nonchalant, which is something she has never been good at, right up there with being charming. “- well, because she’s coming to visit this weekend.”

“Oh-hoho! A visit from Her Majesty herself! Are they rolling out, like, a red carpet at Town Hall?”

“No,” Lysithea says, then adds. “Though they might do that at her company’s building.”

Hilda stares. “Oh my god, I was joking.”

“‘BAMBOOZLE’,” Lysithea takes the pen and writes in the answer to four down. “She’s only here for the weekend, but she’s invited you to join us for lunch.”

"A chance to meet mystery millionaire? In the flesh? Count me in." 

When Hilda takes the pen back, their fingers graze. For the remainder of the time before Hilda has to leave for class, Lysithea only manages to get another two or three clues, because she’s thinking about the calloused warmth of Hilda’s hands instead.

-- 

Edelgard's company's building is not the tallest skyscraper in the CBD, but it is the second tallest. Plus Lysithea knows from experience that it has the best views. Right now however, she and Hilda are standing on the street below it. Hilda is craning her neck back to look up its sleek glass facade. Every facet of it reflects the blue sky and surrounding buildings with astonishing clarity.

"Jesus," Hilda mutters under her breath, lowering her sunglasses to get a better look. "This is the building? Are you sure?"

"I'm pretty sure," Lysithea says dryly.

"So, hang on," Hilda puts her sunglasses back on, and looks at Lysithea standing beside her. "I've been calling her 'mystery millionaire' this entire time, but like that seems a bit -- I dunno -- light in the cash department, if you know what I mean."

"Edelgard doesn't really like to talk about money."

"Oh, fucking Christ. It's worse than I thought." Hilda sighs down at her own clothes, which are as rakishly stylish as ever. "I should've worn something more business-y. I can just feel it."

"You look great. You always look do," Lysithea assures her. The words tumble out before she can think to stop them. 

Hilda lifts one of her shoulders in a coquettish shrug. "I know. And don't think I haven't noticed the fact that you're actually wearing one of the designer outfits you got sent in your monthly care packages." Hilda reaches out to adjust one of Lysithea's sleeves, even though the cloth does not require it. 

Lysithea can feel the brush of skin against her upper arm. She has to clear her throat before she trusts herself to speak. "We should probably go inside."

"Yeah, yeah. You hate being late. I know." 

Together they walk through the automatic glass doors and into the foyer of gleaming white marble draped with crimson banners between every pillar like some sort of triumphal scene from antiquity. There is a row of bronze keycard stations blocking off entrance to even the elevators from the common rabble that might have dared to walk in off the streets. 

A line of security personnel and front-desk workers are arranged on either wall flanking the entryway. Lysithea knows the drill. She does not hesitate to approach one of the front-desk staff, and in exchange for their names receives two visitors passes that are stamped with the company logo: a rampant red and black eagle that looks like it has been adapted from heraldry for a more modern audience. 

As they swipe their keycards at the security gates, a green light flashes and the bronze arms lower at each station to let them pass. While waiting for the elevator, Lysithea pockets her own keycard, but Hilda stares at her own in utter bewilderment.

"Alright, now I'm just imagining that your friend dresses in, like, some eighties businesswomen's power suit. You know. Tall. Stilettos sharp enough to kill a man. Shoulder-pads stuffed so broadly they could support the weight of all my failed dreams. That kind of thing."

The elevator doors slide soundlessly open, and Lysithea steps inside. “Relax,” she says. “She is really nice once you get to know her.”

Lysithea retrieves her keycard once more to wave it in front of a sensor; it allows her to hit the button for the top floor penthouse suite.

Hilda stares at the illuminated floor level button. “Right. Yeah. I’m super relaxed. Cool. Cool cool cool.”

The elevator doors start to close. When the carriage beneath their feet smoothly begins the ascent, Hilda begins to fidget. She has forgone her usual numerous rings, and instead only wears two on each hand. The metal clicks against the golden chain strap of her handbag over one shoulder as she toys with the links. Behind her semi-opaque pink-tinged sunglasses, her eyes are fixed on the floor counter, which ticks rapidly upwards with every moment spent in the elevator. 

Lysithea hesitates for a moment, then gathers up enough courage to gently close her hand around Hilda's fingers. It stops her rapid fiddling. She doesn't say anything, but Hilda releases a tense breath. When they reach the top floor, Lysithea pulls her hand away, but not before Hilda can run her thumb against Lysithea's fingertips. 

The elevator doors open. The penthouse revealed beyond is a broad open space. It's high ceilings seem to extend beyond the heavens and take their place among the clouds. It's floor to ceiling glass, and polished marble, and brushed steel, accented only with the rarest streak of colour. 

It is a far more sterile space than Lysithea normally prefers; it reminds her too much of years spent in hospitals, despite being nothing at all like hospitals. Having visited Edelgard's family home many a time however, she knows exactly why Edelgard's personal tastes run away from anything that felt too woodsy or antiquated. 

They each have their own ways of rejecting the past. For Lysithea it's warm cardigans and the pursuit of greater knowledge in the light of her family’s rampant anti-intellectualism. For Edelgard it's one ninety seven stories of glass and long-harboured designs of familial vengeance. 

The moment the elevator doors open, Lysithea steps out into the foyer. There is nobody to greet them.

“What? No butlers?” Hilda whispers in an overly covert voice, poking her head from the elevator and peering around as though scanning for an ambush. “What about snipers? Quick: do you see a red laser dot on my forehead?”

“Oh, stop being such a coward,” Lysithea says, very much aware of her own hypocrisy.

“Says the one who jumps out of her skin when I so much as play the theme song of a horror movie!”

“I’m -! I’m not that bad!”

“I saw you get scared in a Halloween shop once.”

“That’s it. I’m leaving you here.” Lysithea starts to walk further into the penthouse. 

“Noooo! Wait! Wait wait wait!”

Lysithea doesn’t stop. Behind her, she can hear the clack of Hilda’s designer boots. Hilda jogs up beside her so that they walk side by side. “How do you know where to go?”

“Edelgard always stays here when she visits.” 

When they turn a glass corner, they are faced with a long hallway and an ornate double door at the very end. By the door stands a man dressed all in dour black. He looms as they approach, his gaunt face somehow always cast in shadow despite the well lit room. 

Lysithea waves. “Hi, Hubert.”

Hubert greets her with an incline of his head that seems more like a shallow bow than anything else. “Lysithea. I am glad to see you well.”

Hilda leans down to whisper in Lysithea’s ear. “Is this the butler?”

“There are no butlers,” Lysithea says. She thinks for a moment, then adds. “Well, not here, anyway.”

In contrast, Hubert does not incline his head towards Hilda. He glowers, and he is very very good at glowering. As though he practices in the mirror every morning. “Hubert von Vestra. Head of Security, and personal attaché to the Managing Director and Chairman of the Board, Edelgard Hresvelg.” 

Hilda sticks out her hand to introduce herself. "Dr. Hilda Valentine Goneril. Two-time Commonwealth Champion, and Terror of Pub Trivia Night. Nice to meet you."

He lifts a contemptuous eyebrow at her her hand. He does not take it. “I’m afraid I’m going to need to inspect your bag before you are allowed entry.” When Lysithea starts to shrug her bag from her shoulder, he says, “Oh, not you. Just her.”

“Wow.” Hilda says. “Thanks.” 

Still, Hilda hands over her purse. Hubert handles it delicately, as if aware of its fine label. He prods around inside and along the seams. At one point, he lifts a small gold and coral handled switchblade, and shoots Hilda an unimpressed glare. 

Hilda shrugs, completely unapologetic. “A girl’s got the right to peel fruit without getting gross rind under her nails.” 

In answer, Hubert tests the switchblade with an expert twirl of his fingers. He pockets it, and when Hilda makes a wordless whine of complaint, he informs her, “You may have it back upon your departure.” 

Grumbling under her breath, Hilda snatches her bag back from him and slings it over her shoulder. Hubert opens the door for them and ushers them inside. Lysithea grimaces apologetically at Hilda as they walk into the next room. 

There, sunlight blanches the room in pale tones through the broad windows. At the head of a long table, Edelgard sets down a tablet she had been reading, and rises to her feet. She is clad in a militant knee-length scarlet coat with a flair of sumptuous white lining. Somehow she can always make whatever she wears look army-issued, but in a stylish way. Like she had just stepped from a monochromatic 1940s picture and into full colour. 

“Ohh, you’re wearing the new McQueen,” Hilda sighs wistfully over Edelgard’s coat. “Ohhhhh, and it looks so good on you, too.” 

The corner of Edelgard’s mouth curls in amusement, but all she says is a cool, “Thank you. It's nice to finally meet you, Hilda.” 

When Edelgard turns her attention to Lysithea, her face relaxes into a genuine smile. She walks forward to give Lysithea a hug, and murmurs, “You’re right on time.”

“I hope we’re not interrupting your work too much,” Lysithea says, nodding towards the tablet. 

“Oh, that.” Edelgard gives the device a dismissive wave. “Board papers. I’m halfway through the latest financial results, and already bored out of my mind. You saved me. And now I must reward you with tea.”

They move to take their seats, Lysithea at Edelgard’s right hand and Hilda sitting across from them, but Hilda hesitates. She stoops, half-seated, and asks, “Just tea? I thought -? Are we going out for lunch after, or, like -?”

“High tea,” Lysithea says. “There will be food. Snacks. Lots of them.”

“Ohh. Right. Okay.” 

Hilda sits. She fidgets with her purse in her lap for a moment, before dumping it in the seat beside her. The table is long and extends quite a ways beyond them, while they use only a small section of it. It could have easily seated twenty. 

Hubert does not take a seat, but instead hovers in a small patch of shadow cast by a pillar. Close enough that his presence is unquestionably part of the group, but far enough away to not partake.

Sighing, Edelgard glances over at him. “We’ve talked about this.”

“Did we? It must have slipped my mind.”

In answer, Edelgard only gives him a pointed look, then gestures towards one of the empty seats. He relents, and takes the seat directly beside Hilda. As he does so, Hilda not so discreetly clears her throat, and shuffles her own chair a little further away from him. 

“Don’t mind Hubert. He means well,” Edelgard tells Hilda. Her white-gloved hands are neatly clasped atop the table. “I really am glad you could make it. Lysithea’s descriptions pale in comparison to the real thing.”

Hilda hoists her eyebrows up, and she gives Lysithea an amused glance. “Well, then! Lysithea never told me you were such a charmer!”

“Because my charms are completely ineffective where she is concerned.” 

“Difficult to be charming when I’ve seen you covered in vomit,” Lysithea interrupts.

Edelgard makes a face, then explains to Hilda, “Treatment drugs. I cannot in good faith recommend them.”

“Oh, I dunno. I hear the side-effects of ‘living’ are kinda worth it,” Hilda quips. 

“Barely,” Edelgard drawls. She smiles, but her gaze is steady and sharp. “Now, I’d heard you had a range of interests and skills, but I never dreamed that someone would be able to convince Lysithea to actually wear the clothes I send her.”

Lysithea can feel her cheeks burning.

“What can I say?” Hilda runs a hand dramatically through her long hair. “I’m a woman of mystery.”

At that Hubert’s presence seems even more menacing than before. "There are no secrets you have that I do not know, Dr. Goneril. I personally prepared your background docket for the Chairman."

"Which I did not read," Edelgard assures Hilda, then adds. "Mostly."

“Oookay!” Hilda smiles broadly at them, then at Lysithea. “I am officially concerned now!”

Before Lysithea can do anything, a door opens. Two waitstaff emerge from another room, bearing china and triple-tiered trays of bite-sized food. 

As the cups and plates and trays are assembled on the table, Lysithea frowns reprimandingly at Edelgard. “I always try to look nice when visiting your company buildings. They would turn me away at the door otherwise.”

“I know that’s a lie, because I give them your photo with the express orders to admit you.” 

“Well -! It’s -!” Lysithea fumbles for a good counter. “It’s nice to not stick out from the decor sometimes.”

Edelgard’s expression slips into something very sly. “Yes, and I’m sure the makeup is all for my benefit as well.”

Lysithea hunches her shoulders and sinks down a little in her chair. “Alright. Let’s go back to picking on Hilda.”

“Hey!” Hilda mimes throwing her cloth serviette at Lysithea across the table. 

A printed card with the day’s selection of tea is presented to each of them, with assurances that there are other flavours available should they require. Lysithea picks something sweet and apple-flavoured -- a loose leaf that Edelgard always makes sure is in stock when Lysithea visits -- and thanks the wait staff profusely. The gentleman murmurs, and takes the card away once more. 

The other waiter is bowed over Hilda’s shoulder, while she orders a rose blend and also asks, “And do you have any paper napkins I can use as projectiles? It’s really important.”

“Of course.” The waiter takes the card from her. 

“Thanks!”

Neither of the waiters approach Edelgard or Hubert, whose preferences are already so well known that they do not need to be asked. The wait staff disappear behind the door. Casual conversation with a tense undercurrent continues until they return, bearing round trays upon their shoulders, which hold large glass pots. 

The tea leaves steep visibly. There follows a show of pouring the tea, where the waiters fill their cups with each respective flavour from increasing heights, all while not spilling a single drop upon the pristine white tablecloth. Lysithea has already started on the selection of macaroons, unable to resist the temptation of sweets and savoury dishes artfully arrayed before them. 

When the wait staff are gone and the tea half-drunk, Hilda props her elbows indecorously on the table. In one hand she wields a miniature cake that has more layers than most full-sized pastries. A few paper napkins have been set on the table for her. “So, tell me: what’s your secret, Managing Director and Chairman of the Board?”

Lifting cup and saucer between her hands, Edelgard answers with her usual cool composure. “The role of Chairman is heritable due to a rather fortuitous and iron-clad clause in the shareholder’s agreement.”

“And the Managing Director part?” Hilda presses. She takes a bite of the little cake, and her eyes widen. “Oh, shit,” she mumbles around the mouthful. “This is really good.” 

Lysithea nods in agreement, and reaches for another of the little cakes, herself. Silently, Hubert turns the tray that they share so that more of the sweets are angled in her direction.

Edelgard takes her time to sip at her tea, placing the cup back in its saucer. “The role of Managing Director, I admit, I had to wrest for myself. Though I do not claim to handle anything below a strategic level of the business. I have a very competent CEO for that.”

“I wouldn’t go so far as to call Ferdinand ‘very competent’,” Hubert interjects.

“He keeps up staff morale,” Edelgard says.

“And questions you at every turn.”

“Good. That’s why I pay him such a high salary.”

“Okay, enough with the bullshit. I have a very important question to ask you.” Hilda leans forward and fixes Edelgard with an intense stare. “Do you have childhood photos of Lysithea?”

“Absolutely.” Without hesitation, Edelgard pulls up the tablet that has been sitting at her elbow.

“Now, hang on just a minute -” Lysithea watches in horror as Hilda scoots her chair around so that she can look over Edelgard’s shoulder. 

It’s far too late. Soon, Hilda is making cooing noises and pinching the screen to zoom in on a photo Lysithea can’t see and doesn’t want to see, while Edelgard tells the story behind it. Meanwhile, Lysithea drinks her tea and attempts to staunchly ignore them with as much poise as she can muster. It isn’t nearly enough poise, though, for Hubert grimaces at her in his imitation of a smile, which he only does when he’s trying his very best to show support or be comforting. 

“Shall I call for some refills?” Hubert asks her, his voice as soft as he could make it.

“I’d like that,” Lysithea sighs. 

The other two don’t take any notice as their cups are filled with steaming tea once more. They continue to trawl through Edelgard’s apparently extensive collection of photographs, until Hilda shuffles her chair back over to her place. 

“God, she was a cute kid.” Hilda reaches for one of the savoury pastries. 

Lysithea sinks down a little in her chair. Her face feels aflame. 

Edelgard casts a sidelong glance in Lysithea’s direction. “I see someone hasn’t had a talk with you, yet.”

“What?” Hilda asks.

“So! How about those macaroons!” Lysithea says, a little too loudly. “Did you have one, Hubert? You should, or else they’ll all vanish.”

Indeed, the supply of food has steadily diminished as time goes on. He gamely plays along and plucks a macaroon from the tray. 

Rolling here eyes, Edelgard takes a prim sip of her tea, and murmurs, “Predictable.” 

Still, she allows the conversation to move along, and does not mention it again. They graze. Their cups are refilled. The sun slips towards the horizon, casting the table in warm golden light. Lysithea can’t help but stare as Hilda seems to be illuminated from behind. The flossy rays glint against her earrings, and she sparkles when she laughs. 

Eventually, Hilda scrapes her chair back and rises to her feet. “Alright. I’m going to let you two catch up in peace.” Everyone else had stood when she did. Hilda holds out her hand for Edelgard to shake, which Edelgard does. “Thanks for having me.”

Edelgard smiles, and it’s a genuine smile. It might have been too small a thing for Hilda to notice, but both Lysithea and Hubert exchange silent, incredulous looks. “You are welcome anytime.”

“Don’t say that, or I might just take you up on your offer of a private jet ride.”

“I never offered you a ride in my private jet.”

“No, but you could. Think about it.” 

At that, Edelgard actually lets out a huff of wry laughter. “Good bye, Hilda,” she says, very pointedly.

“Ohh, chilly!” Hilda pretends to shiver, but shoots Edelgard a parting wink before turning to Hubert. One hand on her hip, she holds out the other to him with an expectant look.

Her knife appears between his fingers, and he passes it over. “You might consider leaving it behind next time, Dr. Goneril.”

“Funny. I was going to say the same thing about the stick up your ass, but, you know -” She flutters her eyelashes at him. “We all have our little foibles.”

Hubert gives an amused little chuckle when she taps at his chin with the folded knife handle, but his dark eyes glitter dangerously. 

If Hilda is at all intimidated, she doesn’t show it. She rounds the table and leans down to swiftly press a kiss to Lysithea’s cheek in farewell. “See you tomorrow!”

Lysithea blinks. “Yeah,” she says, slightly dazed. The warmth and softness of Hilda’s cheek lingers against her skin. “See you.”

“Allow me to show you out.” Hubert does not give Hilda the option to refuse, and follows her through the doors.

A silence falls in their absence. Lysithea stares after the barest glimpse of Hilda’s clothes and hair until she and Hubert have disappeared around the corner. When she turns back around, Edelgard has sat back down and lifted her teacup to her lips.

“So?” Lysithea drops into her chair. She awaits Edelgard's final verdict with anticipation.

Edelgard sips at the fragrant earl grey. “You could have done a lot worse.”

[linettiewizowski]

So I saw this one post from someone on their opinion of the love square. And I really wanted to point out a few things but their replies are turned off.... So I'm answering it here anyways.

(This rant is very long, not kidding, if ya feel like reading what's basically a big ass PowerPoint then go right ahead)

- Being a child does NOT give you a pass to stalk, be possessive over, steal from, invade the boundaries, invade the personal space, of someone you have a crush on.

That is wrong. Children should not be allowed to carry on such innapropriate, behavior. No one should.

- Children need guidance and protection. They cannot always learn or handle things on their own....that should be obvious with Marinette and especially Adrien.

Plus-

°I don't think Tom & Sabine ever expected Marinette to be a stalker....so they would never think to teach her otherwise.

- Yes I know she does realize what she's doing is wrong.....but then she just continues anyways. (Or maybe it only seems like she didn't stop because the episodes are out of order? But even then she STILL acts like this in newer episodes so I'm still sticking to what I said.)

°Adrien.......needs to be taken away to a safe & stable household. (Please let Emelie awaken soon, maybe she'll set things straight. Gabriel deserves a divorce & prison.) Even so, Gabriel does recognize such unhealthy behavior. Gabriel also would not at all expect his son to behave so innapropriately. I am purdy sure he thinks Adrien is "perfect." He even calls Adrien "perfection" in one episode. - It would not even cross his mind to teach his son proper etiquette concerning a crush.

>Ahem, Adrien's possessive, territorial, pushy, somewhat obsessive, Jealous, sometimes moody behavior concerning his feelings for Ladybug.

Constantly hitting on her, flirting with her, getting up in her space, when she has repeatedly showed him that she is NOT interested in him. Even when she revealed she had feelings for another boy he kept pushing.

- The episode where he thought he had right to be angry when she "stood him up" when - The way "Chat" said it & the way "Lady" reacted? Lady only saw it as a dinner between friends.....He then went on to set up an obviously romantic candlelight dinner.

- Once again, Ladybug has made it specifically clear, she is not interested.

Lady did not even fully agree to said dinner. She said she had plans.

Adri-Chat asked "If they end early, come join me?" Lady said "We'll see."

- That is not a yes, that is a maybe. He didn't even take HER plans into account, didn't even think "Well maybe her plans didn't end early." He just gets mad. And Lady should not have been made to feel guilty just because Adri-Chat cannot seem to take/understand a no & a maybe.

- Adri-Chat getting jealous when that one artist expressed his crush on Ladybug and going on to cross Lady's boundaries by lying about the reality of his & Lady's relationship.

(Yes I know, that dude was an adult and Lady-Mar actually a teen. But at that point in the show I'm pretty sure no one could guess the age of Lady & Chat (strangely) and like Spooderman no one thought them to be actual children.) Adri-Chat did that without thinking or even asking for Lady's input. Not cool at all.

- Acting all happy, triumphant when they regained their memories in Oblivio and Alya caught a pic of their amnesiac selves kissing.

What Adri-Chat says: "We're meant for eachother Milady, you're the only one who doesn't see it." (Okay sigh, this boy.)

1. That is a totally uncalled for, arrogant and presumptuous thing to say to Ladybug.

2. (Entirerly From Adri-Chat's perspective) Oblivio erases memories right? So Adri-Chat doesn't even consider the erasion of Lady's supposed crush on this other boy. Leading her to fall her HIM yes, but that's not the point.

Neither of them were in their right minds, as they had no memories. From HIS perspective Lady did not remember her crush on this other boy, if she did, she would not have fallen for Chat at the time of the memory erasion.

Adri-Chat does not at all think about that, all the while STILL ignoring her feelings for the other boy. Nope, he thinks this is some kind of encouragement to keep harassing her because "Maybe she'll choose me one day?" A.K.A. "Maybe she'll come around one day?" - (contemplating calling it sexual harassment because the characters of course do not get sexual, it being a kid's show) But his intent is to get her to date him....Hm. It is still harassment though.

>Ahem,hem. Marinette's obsessive, compulsive, possessive, territorial, jealous, fanatical, controlling, a LOT of times single minded, stalker behavior concerning her feelings for Adrien.

°Same drill - Not dating (Even if they were, still wrong just adding in)

°Adrien has not at all made his feelings clear on anyone (from Mari's perspective)

°Has not shown romantic interest in her.

°Adrien is not aware of her behavior at all. Not even when he spots all of the pictures of him in her room does he get it. (Being too naive is a very bad thing Adrien.)

°Marinette sometimes acts as if Adrien belongs to HER and no one else can have him. She goes to great, ridiculous and sometimes extreme heights just to keep girls she sees as rivals away from him.

She goes overboard, embarrasses herself, acts immature & compulsive. Sometimes she gets mean.

°Chloe & Lila being horrible is no excuse for her to treat Adrien like a possession, and also like he isn't an intelligent person who cannot notice obvious/strange things or protect himself.

(The plot is confusing yes, Adrien not noticing Mari is Ladybug, giving Chloe multiple chances/still being her friend, Being sympathetic to Lila.

While ALSO in some cases being close to connecting the dots to Mari being Lady, Condemning Chloe's outrageous behavior even in one instance totally putting his foot down, and being one of the only people to see through Lila's lies and side with/protect Marinette....though not exactly how he should.) Chalk it up to not that great writing = serious plotholes.

Anyways

°Adrien can kiss, hang out with, travel with, talk to and date whoever he wants. Mari has NO right to manipulate situations where he can't do that. I.E Controlling behavior.

°Now, Kagami is not a bad person. (More than Half the fandom's treatment of her is very disappointing.) Yes I know, she can be harsh, standoffish and cold sometimes. But-

°She does not intend to be mean, she does not, nor does she want to bully anyone. She does not bully Marinette. She just wants Marinette to stop being indecisive and flighty because Kagami ALSO likes Adrien (and by the way she was raised) does not think people should be so indecisive & hesitant or they'll miss important chances for them to take in life.

°Kagami does not think Mari is right for Adrien no, but as soon as she thinks Adrien is interested in Mari? She immediately backs off & respects his wishes. She only engages again when Adrien shows interest in her again.

°Then later on in the show she even attempts to make friends with Mari genuinely because she wants to make friends.....(and Mari doesn't understand because of Kagami's awkwardness but is also simultaneously clouded by her feelings for Adrien.) Kagami actually feels hurt when she finds out that Marinette initially didn't like her.

Kagami is a GOOD girl.

°Now, what Marinette did to Kagami in Animaestro before that was very unacceptable.

Temporarily teaming up with Chloe to sabotage/publicly humiliate/embarrass Kagami to "not let her get Adrien" "not let her take Adrien away," mess with Adrien's perception of her.

- Jumping to outrageous conclusions out of paranoia, panic and fear. (My cute child needs to be sat down and sternly talked to about this.)

- Trying to manipulate & take away Adrien's choice to decide whether he wants Kagami or not.

(I think this probably marked the episode where Mari's unhealthy/toxic behavior starts to spiral as new episodes come out. (And these ARE out of order so wth is up with Mari's unhealthy escalation lately?)

- Using Tiki for personal, jealous purposes to humiliate Lila in front of Adrien. Acting so irrational and heated in front of 2 civillains(from her perspective) Mari?

- Invading Adrien's home/room, touching everything, lying on his bed....sniffing his things? 😧 Without his consent just to leave a present....when she could have just left it on the window sill, not barge into his room and NOT act very creepy.

- Everything she did & said when she thought that Adrien was one of the wax statues.

😮😬😖 Marinette, honey noooooOOOooo.

ALL OF THIS?

Toxic/Unhealthy behavior. It very much is.

Let's not pretend please.

This is not acceptable period. I very much side-eye another's perceptions on the matter when they say "I knew people like this" "They turned out alright."

Oh...did they? Or is this simply what YOU are saying and we, the internet people don't have the full story?

I Kill Bill squint my eyes at the opinions of people who so easily dismiss toxic/unhealthy behavior.

This is not simply a discussion on fictional characters btw, but on the behavior itself ECT. and the fact that this person brought in real people as an example.

(Btw Any teens reading this? Young adults? Please remember to use protection when having sex. Babies are a high stress responsibility that a person who is either still a kid or a very young adult should not be handling or have to handle. "Results may vary" and all that. Another person's experiences aren't guaranteed to be yours and we already have COUNTLESS evidence that having babies while young is NOT a good idea. Please & Thank you.)

In response to a little tidbit in that person's post.) Anyways.

- Being mature while in a relationship is very important. That much is apparent.

In the context of the show for these 2 teens they are in love with one another.

You cannot behave like all of THIS if you wish to maintain a relationship with someone.

This is not grounds for a healthy, safe, respectful relationship.

°Not respecting your friend or spouse, their choices, their boundaries, their space, their being makes you a borderline abusive person.

(Guys c'mon.) If Adrien & Marinette were real people? They would be very creepy, toxic kids. Hell we DO have some very toxic people, even children that act like this in real life. This is a no. All the no.

- Other ships in the show being unhealthy does not in no way invalidate or downplay the fact that Adrien & Marinette's behavior is unhealthy.

- There are many, many, many, many instances of their unhealthy behavior, not "just two." It's insulting that this person treats the fans who point this out as if we are some idiots who do not watch the show and therefore can not call out this obvious lie.

- There being moments where Adrien & Marinette actually behave theirselves for once does not at all erase or invalidate every single one of their toxic moments.

- The show does not do a good job of writing scenes where getting into these characters heads that behaving this way is unacceptable, at all. No character development there.

(Them giving up on persuing eachother at the end of the season does not address the toxic behavior. That is just them being tired of not getting the results that they want from their crushes.)

- It's hard for me to debate as well. Calling the whole ship unhealthy/toxic? In real life, no way josay would this be okay, in the show? Marinette & Adrien at their core ARE good kids. And they DO sometimes realize their mistakes. But it really, truly isn't enough. There is either not much or no consequences to their innapropriate behavior at all.

(You might say Chat Blanc, but that was circumstance because they didn't reveal their identities to each other in full, not consequence for Mari's creepy room invasion, that was separate.)

It's so debatable. These unhealthy behaviors should NOT be encouraged and the Love Square shouldn't be shipped during them.

I'm just gonna say that I hope with all my might that the writers get it into their heads that this is NOT okay to market to children and that they CANNOT expect kids to understand or tell what toxic behavior is or that the innapropriate things Adri & Mari do are okay.

THAT is a large issue above all else here.

(Let's get some major character development please.)

- "Sometimes you have to sacrifice when you love someone."

This sounds way left field and is not at ALL what the fans who protest Adri & Mari's toxic behavior are talking about.

- "I think a lot of the criticism comes from people who just don't understand love. Maybe they've never been in love."

How absolutely patronizing, condescending, presumptuous in itself and very ignorant.

That's not even. How do I respond to that?

Wow.

I am not repeating myself, I already wrote a whole darn essay. My answer to this is all of the above.

And lastly-

"But the love square is FAR from toxic.

Far, far, far from it."

...Hm. Hm Hm. Hm. Yes of course. 😐😐😐

Okey. I think I'm done here. It's literally been an hour gathering my thoughts, typing and editing this. Anybody who actually read all of this, feel free to comment? Note? I dunno, I'm new to Tumblr. Calling comments/replies "notes" is weird to me.

[queenmaracasandlove]

You’re My Best (Sex) Friend Series - Roger Taylor x F!Reader - Part I

Word Count: +/- 2500

Summary: Roger and Y/N are sex friends and everything is fine until they realize that maybe it could be something more. Can be read as Roger x Reader or Ben!Roger x Reader, help yourself. 

Warning: Mentions of sex and some fluff

A/N: So this was supposed to be only an OS but I really liked the story so it’s going to be a mini-series. As of now I’m planning on it being made of five to six parts. I would love to know what you think about it! Also I’ve never done that before but would you be interested in a taglist? 

MASTERLIST

PART II PART III PART IV PART V

Roger and Y/N were hooking up occasionally. It was nothing serious and was quite convenient for the both of them. Y/N did not want to settle down but she did not want to wake up next to a new person every other day. As for Roger he knew he could trust Y/N and it was quite pleasing to share intimate moments with someone he knew rather than a groupie, at least from time to time. Of course sex between them was also extremely satisfactory. Y/N was familiar with the band for a few years now, she had worked in a pub where they spent a lot of time when they were still starting up. Things had changed quite a bit and they had just finished recording their fourth album.

Roger had phoned Y/N so she would come at his place and listen to the new songs. She had come to some recording session but he knew she was really excited about the final product. She was genuinely passionate about their work and always gave an honest opinion which he highly valued. They had listened to the complete album and watched two movies before casually ending up bonking, the music playing once again in the background. Y/N was riding Roger and finally came for the second time of the afternoon. She was never disappointed and it wasn’t long before the drummer finished himself off on her stomach.

“Oh that was good” Roger said

“Agreed” Y/N said

There was something special between the two of them. After all this time they knew how to please each other and they were rarely disappointed. But it never felt mechanical on the contrary, it was a true exchange between the two of them.  

“I really like the song John wrote, it’s catchy” Y/N said “Can you put it back while I’m taking a shower?”

Y/N very much needed to clean herself and even though Roger hated that song he owed her at least that for what had just happened. He got up and did as she wished, turning up the volume so she could hear the music from the bathroom and lit a cigarette. He could hear her humming the song, she did not know the words of course but she was already familiar with the melody.

The main reason why he did not like the song was because he thought it did not belong in a rock band’s repertoire but also and mainly just to bother his bandmates, especially Deacy. The song was joyful and light and that was not exactly what he had in mind for their sound.  Of course he was happy that the bassist had found everything he needed but they did not bloody need to sing “happy at home” like an anthem.

All he had at home was an old sofa, a broken bed, his drum-kit in a corner and something that looked like a kitchen. Since he moved here he had make zero effort to make the place his own or personality. He spent most of this time on tour, recording or partying and he did not see the interest. There was absolutely no sunshine and the place where he was happy was definitely on the stage doing what he was good at. He looked by the window and saw the streets of London, almost empty, clearly the whole neighbourhood could hear the music blasting from his flat but he did not care.

Y/N came out of the bathroom in a towel, Roger turned down the music and looked at her. She was quite beautiful, the street light glowing on her wet skin. She smiled at him while trying to gather her clothes.

“Do you want to sleep here?” he heard himself ask “It’s quite late”

“Well… Why not. I cannot really afford a taxi and I am not walking for an hour and half right now. Thanks”

It was the first time that she would stay for the night. It was not like they had never spend time together. She would often come to see them rehearse or even spend the afternoon at his place. She had even helped him when he had his shop with Freddie. But never had they shared a bed together for something else than sex and that felt odd somehow. There was an intimacy that was completely different from what they had experienced before.

Y/N did not seem to have anything to say about it and simply went into the bedroom. She grabbed one of Roger’s shirt and boxer before going into bed.

“I’m so glad we had sex on the couch and not on this bloody thing, you should really invest that new money in a mattress Rog’” she complained jumping on it a little

For one second Roger was about to ask her if she wanted him to sleep and the couch but he quickly realised how stupid that question was. They just had slept together, twice. They also probably had fell asleep together at some point, but this felt, different. She looked good, in his clothes. She seemed to be comfortable and although quite sleepy still had a smile on her face. She was flipping through the book on his bedside table.

“Is it good ?” she asked before looking at him “Rog’ are you okay?”

Roger was completely lost in thought, leaning against the door frame. Y/N looked suddenly worried. She was not used to see him speechless. She paused and felt suddenly uncomfortable. Maybe he did not really want her to stay. She was been surprised but very happy about him asking. The idea of walking by herself in the streets of London at such an hour was not very reassuring and she could take the tube early in the morning. She usually did not stay that long but they had watched a film and then another one before getting down to business. The time had flied as they spent a particularly good afternoon together.

“I can go home if you want me to” she said

“No… No I want you to stay. Sorry I’m just knackered” he replied

He went back to the living room, put his underwear back on, turned off the music and the light before coming back into the bedroom. Y/N was already under the blanket and her eyes were closed. She did not want to be any burden and silently waited for him to join her. He closed the door and lay down next to her. She could feel the heat of his body from afar and he knew it was quite cold in the room, he never put any heating on. The band might have been successful and the money was finally slowly coming in although he had already spent most of it.

Roger’s arms slowly reached out for Y/N’s body and brought her closer to him. She did not say anything and waited a few seconds before placing her face next to his chest. Roger had had numerous girls in his bed and many of them had done the same thing before Y/N but it felt different. Never he had shivered because of the feeling of one these girls’ cheeks on his bare skin.

He had trouble falling asleep but it was not the case of Y/N, he could feel how calm she was and her slow breath on his torso. She looked so peaceful, so calm. She had a really outgoing personality, always smiling or talking. She was silent and there was something almost sad in her face as she was asleep. One of her hand moved as it grabbed Roger’s side. Her little frown disappeared and he found her incredibly cute.

When Roger woke up he was alone in bed. He sighed, he would have like to say goodbye to Y/N but she had probably gone back to her place. Once again he was alone in his flat with nothing to do. He got up to pee and smelt something coming out of the kitchen, now that he was little more awake he could swear someone was singing. He quickly went to the bathroom before following the little tune.

It was Y/N, she was humming one of Queen’s song. She was really into their music but she did not want it say it too much not to be taken for a groupie. Her voice was beautiful, almost technically perfect and so pleasing to the ear. He was really impressed by how effortless it sounded. Roger knew that it was her favourite song, she was so excited the first time she had heard it. He did not want to stop her, enjoying the moment. She was cooking breakfast and it smelt really good. It was not often that Roger would cook for himself although he wondered how she had found anything to make breakfast with. His stomach betrayed him as it started rumbling and Y/N noticed him.

“Hello gorgeous” Y/N said, smiling and taking care of the scrambled eggs, “Did you sleep well?”

“You realise this is my place right?” Roger asked, amused by her attitude. “But yes I did”

“Great! Now time for breakfast. I’m starving !”

“Where did you find the food?” he asked

Suddenly an embarrassed smirk appeared on Y/N’s face as she finished setting the table.

“I may have taken the fiver that was on the table” she said “Sorry”

“That’s okay” he said “Thank you for making breakfast”

He sat next to her and started eating. It wasn’t much and it wasn’t anything fancy but he could tell it had been made with attention and that’s all that mattered. She jumped on the food and ate with eagerness. He had noticed how she had lost some weight when his hands where on her bare ribs yesterday. Nothing dramatic and none of his business but he started to wonder why it was so.

“How’s work?” he asked

This is how they had met. Y/N was working in the pub right next where his band used to rehearse. It was her first job moving in London town and they had become rather close altogether. One night after work they had slept together, just for fun. He was really surprised by how the next time they had seen each other everything was back to normal. She did not act like nothing had happened but at the same time she never considered it for something more than what it was. It was the first time that something like that had happened to him and he could still remember the kind of relief he felt because already at that time Y/N was important to him. Without thinking too much about it, it had became casual. 

The pub she was working at became the place they would go for a beer most of the time but after their first album they almost never were in that part of the city and they came less and less. In fact, Y/N had became part of their inner circle and she was invited to big and small parties by the members of the group quite often.

“Well… no more work” she just replied

“What?”

Roger was really surprised. She had not say anything about it.

“Well… Apparently I was not needed anymore, had to make some cuts in the expenses” she replied, shrugging her shoulders

“But you were pouring your heart in that freaking job!’ Roger almost screamed

He was angry for her. He knew that being a waitress was not Y/N’s dream but he also knew that she was very good at it and that she was always doing her best. The idea of her being fired like a piece of trash was very displeasing.

“It’s okay Rog’, it was probably time for me to go and do what I came to London for”

“Are you finally going to audition for some musicals?” he asked

“You remember?”

“Of course. You almost made me crazy singing that Funny Girl song all the time last year”

She was so happy he remembered that. She did not talk about it a lot because she was so insecure about her skills. It was true though, she had come to London to pursue her dream of an artistic career. Unfortunately it was crazy expensive to live in this city and the few roles she was able to get were not paying the rent and she had taken more and more hours at the pub, leaving her dream behind her. Blood started rushing through her face just thinking about Roger hearing her singing but just stuck her tongue out.

“At least I don’t sing songs about me fucking cars”

“What did you just say?”

“I’m just saying I love the melody Rog’ but the lyrics… Really?”

She wasn’t mean at all, she was playful and was, per usual, great at changing the subject when she felt embarrassed. She was so amused by the look on his face, he was clearly upset but not angry.

“I mean… did you really locked yourself in a cupboard so that everybody could hear you sing that you got a feel for your automobile on a B-side? I know you’re used to being extra but...”

Y/N couldn’t resist but laugh just thinking about the whole thing and she started running as soon as she saw Roger spreading his arms towards her to get revenge. The place was not that big but she tried to lock herself up in the bathroom, unfortunately Roger was much faster than her and soon enough his arms were around her waist.

“What exactly is wrong with my song eh?” he asked starting to tickle her ribs

“You’re saying you’re in love with a car Roger. Do I really need to explain what’s wrong with it?”

She burst into laughter as the tickling became more intense. She tried to respond to the attack but he was much stronger than her. He knew she was partly joking because he had seen her bobbing her head to the tune yesterday as she was listening to the record for the first time.

“How the fuck do you know about the cupboard?” he asked suddenly realising that he never told her about it while stopping the fight

“I had Freddie on the phone the other day and he told me” she answered, finally able to breeze

Roger let go of Y/N and went back to breakfast. She raised her eyebrows but joined him, after all the fight was not going to last for hours. It was stupid but Roger had felt weird knowing that Y/N had called Freddie. Somehow he had started thinking that she was closer to him than she was with his friends but maybe he was wrong. They kept talking about a few things and Y/N eventually decided to go back to her place. She left a delicate kiss on Roger’s cheek as she always did before saying goodbye.

Roger closed the door, a smile on his face before looking behind him, to the very empty flat. Once again he was alone. He thought that it was crazy how someone as little as Y/N could fill in so much space. He was left with his feelings and all he knew for sure was that he wanted to see her again very soon and not just for a booty call.

[legobiwan]

LEGO AAAAH just like how I said obi wan "down for muder" Kenobi I want to also say: man you cannot tell me that he doesn't like Dooku. Like even tangentially? He's his grandmaster after all, I bet you obes thought they had at least some sort of relationship. And Dooku cares about his lineage, we all know that, so I think in your stories I bet he just wants to teach obi wan more than he wants to turn him? Tho obv he wants both, but Dooku plus companionship yes please???

Ahhhhh….yes. This.

Okay, so let’s start here -

Obi-wan never once fights Dooku alone. (To my eternal disappointment.) He’s always with Anakin when they end up in lightsaber conflict. This includes AotC, the Hardeen arc, the Sifo-Diyas/Pykes episode, RotS, and even the novels and comics, to the best of my knowledge (they confront one another, but never fight one-on-one). And even more interesting is the fact that when given an option, Obi-wan will send Anakin in to fight Dooku alone. 

I mean, I find this particular scene fascinating, as Obi-wan already has his saber off and is ready and willing to send Anakin - his former student - against Dooku by himself. If it had been Grievous, or Ventress, or Maul, Obes would have been the first one to leap on that ship, push or not. I mean, yes it is a testament to Obi-wan’s trust in Anakin and his respect for Anakin’s prowess (and part of the whole retroactive buildup to RotS), but why foster the antagonistic relationship between Anakin and Dooku when Obi-wan would block Anakin from doing so in any other situation (despite the fact that Obi-wan himself has done so, but we’re not going to get into that here)?

And to get to that answer (and eventually my answers to your questions), let’s look at the way Dooku has addressed Obi-wan in their (very) limited interactions.

Dooku may taunt Obi-wan, but in every interaction they have, he also shows a fair amount of admiration, shall we even say, encouragement of his Grandpadawan. 

And Obi-wan is not stupid, nor is he unobservant. Dooku has no issue heaping insult upon Anakin, much to Obi-wan’s consternation, I’m sure. Dooku doesn’t consider Anakin worthy of inheriting his lineage, this pseudo-bastard child Qui-gon adopted and foisted on Obi-wan. But Obi-wan would receive the unspoken message every time he and Dooku met - your history is mine. 

A relationship, so to speak, some form of connection, no matter how twisted. 

And I’m not even sure Obi-wan likes Dooku as much as he sees a dark mirror of himself in Dooku. And the fact they never fight might be an illustration of this, as they would prefer to trade barbs or strategize from the outside in order to catch the other. It’s almost a kind of mutual understanding, which gets totally broken down in RotS, at which point (in my mind, at least), Dooku is so far gone in the Dark Side he’s lost all perspective. 

But beyond this, the spectre of Qui-gon looms over both of them, that invisible link which is so brilliantly shown here -

Now, I am probably reading faaar too much into this clip, but I love the way Dooku, Obi-wan, and Anakin are tethered, in order, mind you, of the “Lineage.” And I really love the way Dooku is cut off from that connection, just like he did to himself by turning. Only to have Obi-wan reach out to him and try to pull him back.

Sure, Obi-wan is a model Jedi and would prefer to not let beings go to their deaths (maaaaaaaybe). But let’s face it - Obi-wan could have ended the war (as he knew it) right in that moment.

And he chose to save Dooku. 

And Dooku, in turn, would attempt to repay that effort.

Now, does he want to turn Kenobi? Certainly.

Is this because he is aligned with Sheev “true believer” Palpatine?

Nah. At least in my opinion. 

But Dooku is disillusioned with the Jedi, and more than that, he considers himself alone in the universe.

(both excerpts taken from “Dark Rendezvous” by Sean Stewart. Go read it, it’s in my top 3 Star Wars books ever list.)

I mean, jeeze, that is bleak. And maybe on some level, Dooku’s break with the Jedi was less about politics and more about existentialism. The Jedi believed that they were a part of something greater than themselves, that even death itself, was a return. And Dooku…Dooku feels alone, abandoned, in a very particular sense in that he believes the Jedi ideals are a facade made to coddle beings from reality, that we are alone in the universe and that there is nothing else, so why delude yourselves, why build up a religion based on a false premise?

With an outlook like that, yeah, I’d want companionship, too.

And the amazing thing, is, Dooku is a nihilist, but he is also a teacher at heart and wants to impart knowledge and damn does that not create a fascinating dichotomy within the man. To give up on certain aspects of the universe and yet, want to pass them on…

I’m going off on a Dooku rant. But I think that Dooku’s existential loneliness is such an important part of his character, and it drives him to teach, it drives him to reach out to Obi-wan, to try and draw him in to the Dark side, because what else could he teach? He is no longer a Jedi, and disavowed himself from that philosophy. And the Dark side, while problematic, at least does not lie (hahaha), does not pretend in the way the Jedi do (in the ways that are most important to Dooku’s deepest vulnerabilities). 

And so Dooku builds a relationship with Obi-wan, based off of respect, of history, or repugnance for the Jedi. And Obi-wan feels that relationship, how can he not? And Obi-wan avoids that relationship, to my mind, not only because of the debacle on Geonosis, but because there is that pull of history, of the only man who may have known Qui-gon as intimately as he and Obi-wan does not want to fight that even though he has to, because Dooku is a Sith. 

Obi-wan constantly denies Dooku, calling him a “traitor” and a “liar.” And the wonderfully ironic part, is that in those moments, Dooku is more or less telling the truth, and yet Obi-wan would refuse this because of their relationship which he does not want to be a relationship, and so we get a kind of relationship-by-denial on the part of both parties, I guess in that way when you multiply two negative numbers together you get a positive. 

And if just a few events in canon changed…well…

That’s why we have fanfics, right? :D