#;( feel free to assume connections - im good with anything !! )

[bitemescftly]

* @goddamnmuses​  ♥’d this starter call

      The brunette chuckled softly as she walked into the room to see the man’s attention entirely too focused on whatever piece of paper he was holding and reading attentively as if it held all the answers to all the questions. Instead, the woman decided to guide his mind somewhere else. “I missed you.” Anna spoke, walking towards where he sat, not stopping until she was climbing into his lap to straddle the man’s legs and have them facing each other. “It was very rude to ignore me all day.” She teased, setting herself more comfortably - a way that caused her delicate core to press rather snugly against the man’s crotch and  along that their chests touching, leaving not an inch of space between them. “What was so important that you couldn’t spare a minute for me?” Anna asked, the tip of her nose nudging the side of the man’s throat in a teasingly seductive way before she began to press little kisses and bites over the column of his throat - mindful not to leave a mark. 

[spaloonbabooguuscooties]

You could drink your whole life away and still never get that taste out of your mouth.

half commission for @salempie half completely self indulgent dreck pieced together from our insane conversations abt franke and elka. told myself id finally write a big explanation for all of the dum shit between these two for context so Thats Under The Cut.

so I already wrote some stuff about elka and franke's relationship back in whispering rock so feel free to look at that too . it goes over elkas blindness/‘seeing’ with clairvoyance and how her and franke started talking & all that good stuff

SO FOR STARTERS. a lot of thsi wont make sense without a big breakdown of elka herself. because elkas potential as a character is like insane to me. like just the idea of her in the long run of her life reads as something so potentially tragic; a young girl whos plagued with visions of doom and destined to be an outcast even in her own home for things she cant control and clings to the One vision of her wedding that she thinks is 'happy' even despite the fact she doesnt really love the person in it. im choosing to take the li-po doc as canon here because its funny shes the only one with backstory-

but my fucking god even the smallest look into what her parents are like is soo fucked up to me. and i do think elka especially gets a lot of influence from her mother; its funny how easily you can fit mabel doom into a box just from what elka says about her. knees deep in an avon-esque pyramid scheme and leaning into her daughters depressing ass visions & taking her to therapy at age 11 (which would be good if not for the kind of person you can already assume she is & so i doubt the therapist she has really does her any good. i think they share one). she reads as a very I Am My Daughters Best Friend type of mom to me and i can see elka being a centerpiece of the conversation when she has her Amway Girls over for drinks. wine-mom that lets her kid sip from the glass so she can feel like a big girl type deal.

and you can tell that elka is trying to hard to be too mature for her age even in her campster posts. how she writes letters to nils' mom and exchanges baking recipes with her and that feels like she really only interacts with middle aged women and not really many people her own age outside of camp (like her moms friends). which makes sense shed feel the need to ‘grow up’ early when shes probably had to process so many hard things at a young age bc of her visions.

theres a lot of filling the blanks here of course.

elka obsesses over nils to an overbearing degree even despite the fact he treats her like shit ('you promised no talking' and so on) and she treats him bad right back. she leans onto stereotypical heterosexual ideals like taking care of him and overblowing how Manly and Protective JT is and she admires romance stories like pride and prejudice and it feels like she Projects Soooooooo much of what she wants onto boys she barely feels anything for without knowing what its actually supposed to feel like. and clearly she WANTS that ideal future, a happy marriage, an actual romance- but according to nils even when they were dating she ignored him most of the time, which just seems Very Telling

like shes filling a role, overcompensating for emotions and lacktherof she cant digest quite yet, and it only makes more sense when you know shes had visions of their future together. how could that be bad for her? shouldnt it be like the books and movies? but she doesnt really connect the fact that her visions are only for Doomed futures, and if she does she certainly doesnt show it. Doomed relationships. it's been a part of her family for generations and she isn't turning out much different, is she? i dont think she even realizes thats all she ever sees yet, just that its Going to happen. that it's Her future, and it always will be

and like, her only reference for a real marriage so far has been her own parents, and she already Knows they have an affair, and theyre doomed to split, (and i actually like to think they were in rough waters anyway and elka was a child meant to mend a crumbling marriage but thats a whole other thing) and so without a framework for what an actual healthy relationship is supposed to be like she cant really grasp that her relationship with nils Isnt that and isnt ever going to be. she can only cling to this one happy idea of the future, and thats why she keeps chasing him, self fulfilling the actuality of her situation and creating and fostering the unhappy life they will inevitably live together.

and that bleeds into everything else in her life, of course, because as the years go on, as the visions grow in number it just makes sense for her to fall into the predictability of her life. she always knows whats going to happen, her visions are Never wrong- so why try to change things? shes had time to process tragedies days, weeks, months, years before they happen, shes had time to settle into every crack of her life. her parents divorce, her various break ups, her future with the psychonauts.

“and she's already seen so much of a future with [nils] she feels trapped almost. Like she has to be happy in it or else it just means her life is miserable. And it's a mixture of pride and fear of the unknown that keeps her clinging to the One thing she knows. BUT LIKE!!! She knows what's gonna happen! It's easier to grieve when she's been grieving for years... She wants so badly to be happy, But to do that she has to step into the unfamiliar. And that's more terrifying than staying the same miserable person she's always been.”

and thats where franke comes in— and yeah you Do have to take a lot of liberties for frankes character since it’s basically, like, all the info for her is just that shes a Supreme Baby Dyke but thats enough for me. i think she has protective butch itch in her . on campster shes defensive over other women evidenced in the way she keeps watch over the girls cabins for lili when elton is pursuing her . but shes also eager to please and constantly trying to make kitty laugh and also Very naive. but she tries! and i think it only solidifies more as she gets Older and really gets a hold of her feelings & her powers. this is incredibly franke to me

and i think as they grow older together— because i think franke and elka Do stay friends, both because elka is just pathetic and needs that positive connection even if she doesnt realize it and because i think franke is a very Loyal person & annoyingly persistent if you let her be . and i am also a kitty/franke truther. because kittys also important in this web we weave

because i think franke and kitty stay together after camp, to a point— theres a falling out facilitated on kittys end and they break up, but reconnect, and franke kind of... saves kitty from herself a little, from her strict military father whos love only extends thru finances , from her own stifling future , she drives all the way to bakersville in her shitty van handmedowned from her dad and they move in together eventually . they get jobs at the motherlobe , because it’s a pipeline to a decent job, because it’s whats easy, because franke doesn’t really have a future, because she’s never really been good at much, because shes never had much sense, because franke doesnt really care as long as she can live and help, sometimes, if she can, and because kitty’s there, and because elka’s there, and shes so used to being elkas eyes now and shes good at it. shes good at being the muscle of the missions when her colleagues lack it, when hypnosis and predictions arent enough. she likes it that way.

and elka appreciates frankes company. she listens, shes sweet, she does little things for her that no ones ever really put the effort for before; she likes her. franke is strong and bold and makes her laugh and shes always there but god elka cant let go of that future, of that box shes put herself in, that her mothers put her in, of being a Good Wife to a Loving Husband, of getting married normally and falling into unfailing familiarity. thats all shes ever wanted and shes not going to jeopardize that . not for franke, who may not be a boy but is handsome like one, whos always held her after every break up with nils and the men that filled empty days inbetween.

and elka is too stubborn to recognize those feelings anyway. too prideful to accept a way out. too set in her cycle no matter how much she hates it, her little self fulfilling tragedy of her own making, wallowing in her own doom. she struggles for control of her own life when she feels like every choice has been made for her anyway, she puts up her walls and carefully constructs what people see. but franke was always harder to trick, because while empathy isnt a particularly useful psychic power it’s certainly an inconvenient one. all franke has to do is get too close and all those carefully crafted walls fall apart, and elkas control is gone, and thats all she really has. and she tries to distance herself, really she does, but franke is also too persistent. and elka wears gloves, keeps contact that would make her walls crumble from happening as best as she can, but she cant really keep herself from the brief moments where she feels like someone actually fucking cares about her.

and that slightest lack of control, the need to wrestle it back is why she proposes to nils the next time theres a falling out— she knows how it happens, she plans every detail. and he accepts, despite everything. gets her a cheap ring and it feels like lead on her finger and its nothing at all like how shed thought it to be when she was a kid, theres no feather light feeling in her chest, only that dreadful reality that she cant turn this back. BUT WHAT CAN U DO LMAO

elka doesnt tell franke about this engagement until later, on their way back from a mission. late at night when neither of them can sleep, and franke invites elka to smoke in her van, because its been so long since theyve been alone like that, because elkas been so strangely absent lately. and because of everything, because frankes always so damn nice, because elka hates the feel of the ring on her finger, because she let herself get high alone with franke fucking athens whos always been so good at pulling her apart— the truth of it all spills out and its messy and emotional and she hates it, she hates the life shes made for herself, but franke makes it easier to bare and now shes here and shes so close and god she wishes she could see her smile again, she wishes she could see franke, thats all she needs right now and she cant but she can touch her and she can hold her and for tonight, she can be known, she can let those walls crumble, she can be something else just for once here with franke . she can kiss her here in this van, touch that happiness for just a moment, and forget the future that waits for her outside of it. franke begs her to forget the wedding, to just let herself be happy— and god, she wants to, but it means turning her back on everything shes known and everything shes saw to be inevitable, and franke has never been in her future, so if it were supposed to work out why hadnt she seen it and she cant, she cant take that risk but she can have this, even if its temporary, she can have it.

and just as soon as she gets a taste of it, its gone. after that night, after the missions over and theyre back at the motherlobe and have to pretend like nothing happened (franke doesnt, of course she tells kitty about it, she tells kitty about everything.) but that brief moment together haunts elka every time she sees franke, sees herself through frankes eyes, sees herself in her wedding dress because god its all franke can think about! of course it is! she knows how much elkas destroying herself she knows how much misery shes wallowing in that kiss in the van felt like an emotional punch to the teeth and she hasnt ever forgotten it and all she can do is sit and watch while elka throws herself into a loveless marriage. she can come to her wedding and see the way the bride and groom kiss with the emotional weight of a wet towel no matter how hard elka tries to hide it under a pretty dress and bouquets of flowers and meticulous planning.

and elka resents nils but she cant really hate him, its not his fault, not really. he feels trapped just like she does and his feelings of misery only cycle back into hers . they fight and gnash and wear away at each other and its a relationship thats crashed and burned a million times before elka even said i do. and its inevitable that she falls into her mothers habits, a sip of wine here and there to loosen up, until it turns to a glass, until it falls into a bottle on nights when whatever work nils does runs late.

but franke’s still there. shes always been there, hasn’t she? always trying to play knight, always trying to save her, dragging her home when shes stumbling over herself because god who else is going to do it but her? who else is left to care? certainly not nils. never nils. because franke knows her. because franke pities her. shes always pitied her. shes always known. and elka hates it, she resents it, but god in the same breath she’s desperate for it, she envies it to her very bones. elka is a mess but after frankes done with her she has someone to go back to that loves her. and god what elka wouldnt do to have that. to take it and keep it for herself because shes never ever got to have that movie romance shes always wanted.

so now comes this.

because elkas particularly miserable and particularly spiteful and she needs to get franke to understand, just for a moment, drink with her and get on her level and she needs her there with her no matter how her pity makes her feel. no matter how much it makes her shake with anger and envy and desperation, but god the way franke looks at her, the way she still tries to salvage what they have, the soft, slurred way she tells her that it’s okay but its not okay, none of this is okay, it never has been and she just wants franke to shut up and see that, and if she cant then she’ll show her, she’ll show her all the raw angry desperation, with too much teeth and hands that claw and grab and she’ll know why everyones always said she’s too much.

and she knows this puts her on nils’ level too. that this makes her a cheater, that shes no better than he is now. no better than her father and his affair. but god, she wants to be selfish. she wants to be in control. just for once. she wants to feel right and she wants to feel happy and she wants to feel loved. thats all shes ever wanted. and franke will let her have that, just for a little while, at the very least.

anyway. sorry. sorry for being crazy . this isnt even getting into the shit after the comic takes place . elkas stupid brainworld thag she has to overcome in order to finally be allowed in the polycule and live happily ever as worlds first lesbian divorceman

sorry for all the shit i make up instead of caring about actual characters with screentime . bye !

[motherraid]

I can’t find any rules so if your uncomfortable plz feel free to ignore this but I recently found out that when a afab person sits on someone else lap, they can feel the *throb™*

So I’m currently thinking what would Sebek do if during the Masquerade s/o fem!reader ended up sitting on his lap and he felt the throb. What would he do? Would he get hard or would he wonder what it is?

Can I be ✨🎀 anon plz? If you do those kinds of anon thingies lol

Omg of course???!?!?! It's been so long since I've taken an ask from a named anon what you're so nice 😭😭😭

AND YOU HAD TO PULL A SCENARIO FROM MY FAVORITE EVENT TOO ILY

((Grinding, manipulation/gaslighting(??), boners (lol), slight exhibitionism(?? If you squint i think) more big boy words and can't really think or anything else as a description, IM SORRYYY I NEED CHARACTER EXAGGERATION IT'S AN ADDICTION))

Well, well. Back to lap sitting. It seems you all have a certain taste.

Boring answer is he feels it, gets embarrassed, and asks you to get up before he even begins to feel anything. He'd probably offer you his seat and walk off to find another seat he can sit down in. He's red faced, but that's it.

Fun answer?

I believe that Sebek WILL know where it's coming from. I'm sure he has some knowledge in sex ed or smth and if he doesn't, he's still very smart. He can make the connection and what was causing it easily. And when he looks up at you in concealed confusion, he can tell by your nonchalant expression that you aren't doing it on purpose. He assumes it's a natural thing that you shouldn't be ashamed of. So, by that logic, if you feel something hardening under your ass, surely you can understand that it's just natural, right? It's nothing to freak out over, I mean, who wouldn't get hard when there's such a darling sitting in his lap?

And who could possibly have known that something as simple as a pulse could be so alluring?

I mean, if we're talking sweet ol classic Sebek, he'd probably be aaaaabsolutely mortified. His immediate reaction would be to politely tap you on the shoulder and ask you (in the quietest voice he's ever had in his life) to stand so he can use the restroom. He won't even make it to full erection by the time he's flown from the room lol. And as soon as he makes it into semi-privacy, you won't see him for a good while. Well, at least until he can either will his erection to die or pathetically rub one out in a restroom stall like a loser (lmao). Most likely the former. His pride wouldn't allow him to do something so humiliating. If someone heard or caught him whimpering while he spazzes with his dick in his hand mid orgasm he'd truly never show his face in public again.

If you two are in a relationship then maybe he won't be so quick to run away and pitifully consider jacking off to the feeling of you throbbing in his lap- wishing he could feel your throbbing while deliciously stretched around his dick and welcoming every inch deeper into your warm cunt until either he runs out of inches or you run out of space.

No, no. He may just steadily place both hands on each of your thighs and bury his face into the back of your shoulder. Or the crook of your neck depending on how tall you are.

("Please... Just stay here for a moment. I swear that I'll let you up soon.. But for now I need you to stay put... and try not to move too much." )

And uhm.. Mk so you know it's not a Duke post without some sort or freak in there, and I just can not write something without going feral about it and the only way I can go feral about it is if I exaggerate his character so PERVY SEBEK

So if you somehow had managed to sit down in his lap and he feels his zipper area becoming a bit uncomfortable, you'd better have a strong will. The absolute degrading filth this boy will spew into your ears will either have you grinding into his crotch and begging him for more or trying to muffle your hurt/confused sobs. Best believe he ain't going nowhere, and neither are you for your little stunt. Sure, you may not have been intentionally trying to arouse him, but you are the one who insisted on using him as a seat when there are plenty of places to rest. That must have been what you wanted, huh? To see him all red faced and bothered? You probably like seeing him breaking a sweat, lip between his teeth and digging his digits into the underside of the seat. You must loove making him horny. It's like you get a kick out of it. Is it funny for you? To see him in agony?

Well, two can play at that game. Don't even bother acting surprised when he wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you tight to his chest. He might wait for a person or two to pass out of view before his tongue sneaks a quick swipe against your earlobe. His breath is heavy on your neck while he nuzzles his face into your hair. Thank the Seven for the loud(ish) music echoing off the walls, or else anyone a good few feet from you would be able to hear him groaning in your ear. All while one of his hands slowly slides towards the inside of your thigh and gives it a good squeeze.

And don't even think about saying anything. It's all your fault, you know. You just casually decide to sit in a guys lap and act surprised when he gets hard? Just like your enticing second heartbeat, an erection is something that can not be helped sometimes. They can happen anywhere, and every guy can agree to that. So what will it look like when you purposefully sit in his lap, throbbing against his thigh with your ass sat firmly against his crotch? Did you forget you're in a school of boys? They'd understand him in a heartbeat. Some may even say you did it on purpose. You'll only embarrass yourself. So stay still, stay inconspicuous, and stay silent.

Let's be honest, though. He's hanging on by a thread. He's just so embarrassed that you've managed to get him this vulnerable and he's taking that out on you. You feel so warm and smell soo good. It's taking every ounce of restraint to hide his gasps and grunts from the spread crowd around you both. Trust they can't be concealed from you, though. You can hear everything. Not to mention feel everything. It's impossible to ignore him spreading his legs a bit and slowly rolling his hips into you.

If he's miserable and desperate, he'll make you feel even worse. Unless you'd rather sneak away and give him the blow job he deserves for putting up with you. Lend him you pussy for a while and he might even spare you a lecture about public decency once this trip is over. (How hypocritical.)

And he's lying. Of course you'll be getting properly disciplined when this is all over. A hands-on lecture is a must. Best not to worry about that now, though. Just enjoy the moment. He sure is.

("I should have known better than to humor you. To think I actually believed you might have been behaving decently for once.")

[hyunjins-orange-slice-too]

connected ch 7

genre: fluff, hurt/comfort, maybe a tiny little splash of angst

word count: ~2.3k

warnings: attempted SA (it’s not real), knife attack (also not real), crying, pet names

masterlist * previous chapter * next chapter

an: this is the most wattpad coded thing i think i have ever written, and im kinda here for it tbh.

the elevator ride up to chans hotel room was long and awkward. you still felt a little shaken up and panicky about the whole situation and chan was being too quiet. you’ve only met him in person for the first time today, but you knew this amount of silence was unlike him. something was rattling around in his brain. you felt bad. they were here on a schedule and you messed it all up. chan has so much on his plate and all you did was add to it. you sighed as the elevator doors opened. you followed chan down the long hallway until he stopped in front of a door. he pulled his plastic key card from his pocket and the door swung open. he gestured for you to go first.

his room was nice. this was probably the nicest hotel room you had ever been in. it was like a small apartment. there was a living area with a tv, couch and coffee table. and then past that down a small hallway was what you assumed to be the bedroom and bathroom, though you couldn’t tell from where you were standing.

"the bed is down that little hallway." chan pointed. "the bathroom is there too." he gently took your injured hand in his own. "felix’s room is right next door, okay? if you need anything you have my number or you can always knock." you took a breath to say something but chan cut you off. "i promise you’re not going to bother anyone if you knock. please don’t hesitate if you need something." he said. he knows you so well already.

you gave him a small smile. "that’s not what i was going to say. though it definitely sounds like something i would say."

"oh." he looked embarrassed. "what were you going to say?"

now it was your turn to be embarrassed. you weren’t sure if you were going to regret what you were about to ask, but you didn’t think you really had a choice.

"uhm.." you pulled your hand free of chans grasp and fiddled with your sweater sleeves, unable to look at him when you asked. "would it be totally weird and wrong of me to ask you to stay here tonight?" you asked. the room was silent for a moment and you started to panic. you looked up at him. "not— not like in the same bed or anything! just like in the same room! i just don’t know if i can be alone right now. i would feel much safer if you were here with me. if that’s okay.." you slowly trailed off.

"hey.." chan soothed. he put his hands on your shoulders, squeezing gently. "i don’t mind to stay here. i’ll sleep on the couch. does that work?"

you nodded. "thank you, channie." you said quietly. he smiled down at you. he wouldn’t say it out loud at this moment, but that was the first time you had called him channie in person and he definitely took note of it. he loved it. it made him want to jump up and down and clap his hands, but he refrained.

"well.. um.. goodnight." you mumbled, awkward and embarrassed, and headed toward the bedroom.

"wait." chan said. you turned to face him. he walked over to the couch and unzipped his suitcase. he pulled out a black t shirt and some black athletic shorts and tossed them at you. "here. you can sleep in these. i bet sleeping in jeans wouldn’t be all that comfortable." he said.

you completely missed the clothes and they fell to the floor. you scrambled to pick them up quickly and stuttered out your thanks before escaping to the bathroom.

——

you crawled into the bed. it felt much too big for you. but the sheets were warm and inviting. chans clothes were soft against your skin and they smelled like him. that same musky vanilla smell that you noticed at the coffee shop. you pulled the neckline up to your nose and breathed deep. damn he smelled so good. breathing him in, it wasn’t long before you’re eyes became heavy and you drifted off to sleep.

you could feel the cold metal pressed against your skin again. the point poking a hole into your shirt, threatening to break the skin. you were panicking, hyperventilating. "be good and just let me take it, okay?" the man’s voice said in your ear, his foul breath ghosting over your face and filling you nostrils, turning your stomach. let him take what? he removed the knife from your skin and used his hands to grab your hips. you could feel the hilt poking into you. he pulled you flush against his body, your back to his front. he took his free hand and slid it up your shirt, running his fingers across your stomach. you knew in this moment what he wanted to take and you couldn’t let it happen. "yn?" you could hear chans voice from behind you. "let her go!" he yelled. and the man didn’t hesitate for even a moment before he turned around and shoved the knife into chans stomach. he gasped and reached for his now bleeding wound. the man ran in the opposite direction as chan fell to his knees in front of you. tears streamed down your cheeks as you fell with him, cradling his head. "yn.." he said, his voice weak. "i’m here." you comforted him. "yn." he said again, a little firmer this time. "YN" he yelled.

you gasped awake, clutching your chest, frantically trying to gather your surroundings. "hey, hey, it’s okay." chan grabbed your hand. "you were having a bad dream. you’re okay." he wiped your tears away with the pads of his fingers. "i’m here, yeah?"

finally taking him in, he was fine. healthy, not stabbed or bleeding. your bottom lip quivered. you threw yourself into his arms and sobbed. he was stunned at first, but he caught you with no problems, wrapping his strong arms around you and holding you close. "shhh, baby it’s okay. it’s over now. i promise you’re safe." your body shook in his arms as he soothed you. "do you want to talk about it?" he asked softly against your hair.

you pulled away from him and met his gaze with glassy eyes. it broke his heart to see you like that. he wiped your falling tears with his thumbs. "the- uhm.." you sniffled. "the attacker was in my dream. but this time when you came to save me, you got hurt." you said, voice breaking, fresh hot tears rolling down your cheeks.

"hey, don’t cry. i’m okay." he smiled. "i’m right here, see?" he gestured to himself. he gently took your hand in his and placed your palm against his chest. you could feel his heart beating beneath your fingertips. "i’m fine, yeah?"

you nodded, sniffling, your tears finally having stopped. your eyes now heavy with exhaustion. you wanted to lay back down. "i’m sorry i woke you up." you told him.

"oh you didn’t. you know me.." he pointed to himself. "insomnia." he chuckled. "i’m feeling pretty sleepy right now though."

"oh yeah. i forgot i bore you to sleep." you laughed.

"hey, you do not." his accent so thick, and he laughed. "i’m just comfortable with you."

"well.. i don’t mind if you stay here to sleep.." you told him. "you need your rest. and i honestly think you keep the nightmares away.." you added quietly.

he looked a little surprised. "are you sure? i don’t want you to feel like im trying anything. i swear im not."

"no, no channie. i don’t think that. we’re just helping each other sleep."

there it was again, channie. it sounded so good coming out of your mouth. it sounded so sweet. he softened at the sound of it. he smiled. "okay. as long as you’re sure it’s okay."

"i’m sure." you reclined back on the bed, snuggling under the cover. you lifted the edge so he could slide underneath as well. he slid in beside you, pulling your body flush with his. his fingertips making contact with a sliver of bare skin peeking out from under your (his) shirt. you felt that same electric spark course through you.

"is this okay?" he asked, his voice raspy as he whispered in your ear. all you could muster was a nod. all thoughts and words left your brain. you stayed like that for a few minutes, breathing easy, slowly drifting off to sleep in his arms before he broke the silence. "i’m sorry i put you in that situation today." he said.

you tried to roll over to face him, but he held tight. "you didn’t put me in any situation." you said to the open room.

"oh but i did." he said. he sounded so sad. "im the only reason you’re in chicago. i’m the one who had to leave early, forcing you to walk back to your car alone. i should have been there. and i’m sorry."

"chan it’s not your fault. you had no idea a crazy man with a knife would try to attack me. that’s ridiculous."

"ridiculous or not, i’m just… sorry." he squeezed you a little tighter, nuzzling his face into your hair.

"it’s okay." you tell him. "i’m fine, you’re fine, the guy is in jail. everything is okay."

"you’re right." he says. though you can tell he still feels guilty. "get some rest, okay? i’m here to catch all the bad dreams."

and with that, you fell asleep.

— —

the next morning came too soon. you had never slept so good. and it seemed, neither had chan. his alarm was blaring, the morning sunlight peeking through the curtains. he groaned and reached to turn the alarm off. once the room was silent, he pulled you close once more. he took a deep breath, inhaling the smell of your shampoo.

"chan.." you poked his bicep gently. you got no answer. "chaaaannnnn." you sing songed. still no answer. "chan i have to pee." you told him curtly.

"uh uh." he said in a childish tone, squeezing you slightly. you giggled.

"channie i really need to go." you pleaded. though, you didn’t want to ever leave his arms. but nature called.

"only because you called me channie." he said. he placed the softest kiss on the spot where you’re shoulder meets your neck and then he released you. but now you couldn’t move. you lay there in a stunned frozen state until he nudged you. "aren’t you going to go pee?" he asked.

"oh.. right." you chuckled awkwardly before getting up and heading for the bathroom. you changed back into the clothes you were wearing yesterday and brushed your teeth with your finger, before trying your best to flatten your hair with your palms. chan had already gotten dressed for the day, his normal black hoodie and beanie. his curls poking out from under the material.

"are you ready?" he asked. you nodded. "your car is pretty close to here. so i’ll escort you there before i have to leave."

he sounded sad. but you weren’t sure why. maybe sad because you were going home and he was off to whatever schedule they had. he didn’t know when he would see you again. was that too self centered for you to assume? because that’s how you were feeling. you weren’t ready to part ways with him yet. but you didn’t really have a choice.

the walk to your car was short and not as traumatic as you thought it would be. the spot where the attack happened was much less scary in the daytime. the walk was also quiet. chan really wasn’t saying much. maybe that’s just the way he is? maybe he’s naturally quiet, though you didn’t think so. he had something on his mind and that’s why he wasn’t talking. and you weren’t talking because you were thinking about what he might be thinking about. and before you knew it, you arrived at the parking garage. he followed you inside to make sure you got to your car safely.

unlocking the door, you turned to tell him goodbye. he was looking down at his shoes.

"chan, what’s the matter?" you asked. "you’ve been quiet the whole way here."

"i’m just sad to see you go." he said, giving you a small smile.

"i feel the same way. but we can see each other again, hopefully soon, if that’s what you want." maybe that’s not what he wants. maybe this whole mess has been too much for him. maybe you are too much for him.

"i’m not so sure it’s a good idea if we see each other again." he said quietly.

and there it was. that’s what’s been on his mind. how to let you down gently. you were too much for him. too much of a burden, an annoyance. did last night and this morning mean nothing to him? you had said it was just you helping each other sleep, but there was something there. you felt it. you know he did too. he kissed your neck this morning! how could he act like that meant nothing?

"so you were leading me on? and now you’re done having your fun? is that what this is?" you asked, your voice laced with venom. you were embarrassed and hurt and angry. and instead of rolling over and letting him hurt you, you were going to hurt him. and that will make this break easier.

"leading you on? no that’s not—" and he reached for your hand but you pulled it away.

"i understand that im not the typical girl you would go for. but i thought i felt something. but maybe that’s just me being delusional." you opened your car door. "just forget it. " you said, before climbing inside and shutting the door. you started the engine and backed out of the spot, leaving chan in your rear view.

taglist: @thinkingaboutlana @tamlinsfiddle @everythingboutkpop @iknowyouknowminho to be added or removed, just lmk.

🚨reminder: this blog is 18+ only. i’ve been getting a lot of new followers (which i greatly appreciate) but if there’s no age identifier on your blog, i’m blocking you no questions asked. (for my own sanity and peace of mind.) ik some people don’t actually go to my page to read the warnings, so im going to start attaching a warning at the bottom of all my posts. thanks for understanding. 💕

[wimpout]

Hey, I'm Elijah. Please just call me Eli, I don't have nothing against the full name but Eli is just better looking. I go by they/them. Don't try and assume my AGAB, you'll be exploded by my mind.

I had an account before this, but I couldn't log back in.

I believe I have the most normal and non-biased takes so if you even care you should check it out. I might see you around.

Here's my old school ID, or something. Ignore the char.

And, er. I have amnesia and some prior memory loss problems. Please, just ignore if I don't remember you at all or even clearly. I'm trying my best, alright?

last update 8/9 23:22

please read all they way below to find the 'tutorial' for this blog

hello! welcome to the ooc section of this blog... please, read it through before interacting! don't worry, as much text as there is, there are brief summaries.

about the mun/mod!

my name is adon! of course, you could refer to me as adonciant or guy either. i dont mind! i go by he/him only, but if you want to use any neopronouns, feel free. i am a minor! my main is @adonciant, which is where likes and follows will come from. of course, all my rp blogs are also listed in my pinned on main!

when a post is signed off with ~🎱, that means its me speaking. it will always be paired with ooc post

─ⵌ call me adon, he/him! main is @adonciant! ~🎱 is muns signoff

interaction!

pelipper mail/unmail/malice: allowed!

musharna mail/malice: allowed!

mystery gifts: allowed!

magic anon: allowed!

in-character anon hate: allowed!

ooc/questions: allowed!

anyone is allowed to interact with my blogs! fallers, eeby deebys, hybrids, sapients, self-inserts, ocs, and in-game characters are all very welcomed!

if you ever want to start a roleplay, it's best to discuss it with me first within the blogs dms, unless i already allowed an offscreen post.

note: if i dont get around to an ask, never take it personally! i will always read any asks i get, but i just may not respond if i dont find it necessary.

─ⵌ all interaction from all blogs are allowed, but discuss offscreen roleplays with me beforehand. i may not be able to get around to your ask, but don't take it personally!

boundaries/notices

─the mod is a minor, and the character is 17! slightly suggestive asks are fine, but never should it come close to nsfw.

─if you ever want to establish a connection between our characters, or want to plan events with yours involved, im always open for it! just dm me on either discord [username is adonciant] or on tumblr itself. i will be more than willing to hear your ideas and see what we can do!

─often times, i will do long threads of interaction. i like to reblog back and interact, but if you ever want me to stop without a sign in the roleplay itself for it to end, please tell me! alongside this, my threads do not get tagged with anything.

─there are not many content warnings to this blog. to roughly list, it's only angsty family stuff. however, anything else may be unsuspected and is up to the anons. this list is always subject to change, so stay aware. any triggering topics are tagged with associated tags ('topic' tw)

─ⵌ slighty suggestive asks are allowed, but nsfw is never allowed, always try to contact me if you want to establish connections or events, and heed the warnings! [you will need to read over the warnings.]

extra notes

heres the good part; how does this work???

in case you didnt see on orions blog, eli is a character who is collectively expanded upon by YOU!! the community of rotomblr!

everyone and anyone who has a rotomblr blog is allowed to contribute to eli.

logistically, if you wonder how it works with the fact these anons would seem to know an abnormal amount of information of eli, blame it on their old account they couldnt log into ^_^

how do you contribute, you ask?

simple! my asks are open. go ahead, ask them how their life is in galar. they'll respond as if their life is in galar. well, someone else already asked if they lived in unova? they live in unova! ask how their whimsicott is doing, because now they do indeed have a whimsicott! ask how their moms funeral was! because, uh oh, now they have no mom :(

but its important that you dont overlook the existing information other people/anons have already asked about. if they really do live in unova, you cant go out of your way to try and forcefully retcon that information: as a reminder, its a collective to create a story for them.

not only are asks open, but every type of interaction is allowed, even up to magic anons. if eli reblogs an ask game, he either responds appropriately to how his story has been shaped out or how i see is fit to the rest of his character! want to send musharna malice that means him seeing a nightmare of his past? say it! send pelipper mail of clothing from his dead relatives? say that!

all that i request is that you and the rest of rotomblr make a coherent story. you build off of previous information and make it into one, stable story. they could totally have been there for opelucid city freezing, but not for lysandre attempting to use the ultimate weapon at the same time.

genuinely, a lot goes by communication.

this blog is supposed to be fun. i dont want to see arguments over eli. its supposed to be something that a community works on together and adds in their words to the pages.

not sure whats canon and whats not? heres a google doc to check all valid information!

this intro/full body ref will be updated if need be.

[frogletscribe]

I finished the main story of A:FoP last night and I have more thoughts but don't want to spoil anything for anyone who is not there yet so im putting them under the cut again lol. Also a lot of this gets into like general Avatar lore things and not always specifically A:FoP. I just have a lot of thoughts and not a lot of people to talk to about it lmao.

Warning: this is very long, i am apologizing now if you choose to read the whole thing.

Spoilers for Avatar: Frontiers of Pandora under the cut

TEYLAN oh my god my boy. He scared me so bad when he showed up again but I'm so glad he had a hand in stopping Mercer. It felt like such a moment of growth for him finaly setting himself free of his abuser. Poor guy feels so guilty about everything that happened, and I'm very nervous about whenever Nor comes back in future DLC stuff because he still doesn't know that Teylan 'betrayed' them. Especially after everything with Alma.

Speaking of Alma, I have somewhat mixed feelings about her story? Obviously the Sarentu have every right to be pissed at her, I am pissed at her, she used them (and honestly is still using them) to ease her own guilt. What bothers me is the "You will never be one of us" rhetoric? Mostly because it makes me think of Jake and the Sully kids (Lo'ak and Kiri specifically) who all are/look more like Avatars rather than Na'vi. It makes me wonder how the Sarentu would react to them? The situations are very different, Jake gave up almost everything that made him human to live as a Na'vi where Alma has stayed human, albeit unhealthily attached to her Avatar form. Jake worked to earn his place with the Na'vi where Alma is trying to take it from this group of children she has been lying to from the very start.

But more than that, her still talking as if she was a part of their family at the end made me so mad. I don't think Nor had a good reaction to her by any means, stabbing her was definitely not good, and it leaves all of the other humans scared of him but like,,, i'm on his side tbh. His anger is justified, he's just not coping with it in healthy ways. Like at least the Sarentu did shut her down, Alma is not a part of their family by the end, but giving her the grace they did at the end i think was more than she deserved. Idk, I am glad that they are able to be the bigger persons (pun not intended lol) and move forward, I'm just not a fan of forgiving a person who was partially responsible for the murder of your entire family?

Back to Nor. He is such an interesting character to have next to Ri'nela and So'lek. His anger is palpable and it has nowhere to go. He refuses to connect to Eywa again because he feels he has been poisoned by TAP and humans as a whole and it colors everything he does. He copes with his pain by ignoring it until it becomes too much and he snaps.

And then there is Ri'nela, who is also clearly hurt by everything that comes to light about the Sarentu and TAP, but she is so much more reserved about it. She has a really lovely audio log about how she feels the need to set her own emotions aside so she can take care of others and their emotions. You can really tell how much pressure she puts on herself to be that emotional stability for others. Still she works through it and at the very least tries to talk with the Protag about it in a much more healthy way than Nor does.

Compare that to So'lek, who is similarly reserved in is emotions to Ri'nela, but less to protect others and more to protect himself. Hopefully we will get a little more insight into his character with the comics coming out, but So'lek is i think very similar to Nor in a lot of ways. His clan was wiped out in the Great War, and he was the only survivor to not assimilate into another clan, and we can assume, i think, that those other survivors were most likely children and other non-warriors, either too old or unable to fight for whatever reason. He is entirely alone by choice, and he is angry, but he keeps it together.

So'lek sees the bigger picture, he knows that the resistance is the one other group that's actually fighting back (Besides Jake and the Omatikaya), even if its entirely a group of humans, who we can assume he is not terribly fond of in general. He makes a point of saying the RDA is what needs to be removed from Pandora, not humans. He knows how to separate his allies instead of generalizing 'all humans bad', something Nor is implied to struggle with at least a little. That is especially clear when So'lek calls Nor out after he stabs Alma. But that still doesn't negate how angry So'lek is and is capable of being. He says it after HQ is attacked, he is trying not to follow Nor and his rage. He knows that if he has that conversation with Nor, it will be very easy for him to let his rage consume him as well.

Given that Nor is pretty much gone from the game after he stabs Alma, I'm hoping that in the upcoming DLC we get to find him? Maybe he is being an angry loner out on the woods or if he has found other missing TAP students? There are 4 mentioned in game, either by name (Ri'nela asks where two of them, Telisi and Yefti, are at the very start of the game, and 2 more are mentioned in TAP School Records, Okni and Yuayt) Of course they could all have died while the main four were in cryosleep, 15 years have passed and if they werent with that group when Alma saved them, theres no telling what exactly has happened to them. I just think it could be cool for them to pop up and join back up with the Sarentu.

On, like, an entirely different note, the joy it gives me that there are multiple nonbinary characters! Ahh!!! I think right now the only ones are Tsu'kiri from the Aranahe and Okul from the Kame'tire, at least that I have found, but the way that they are handled, I really really love. They are both just people! Existing in the world! As a nonbinary person myself i also really appreciate the game using they/them for the protagonist and letting you flavor your character however you want so that you aren't locked into male/female like so many games tend to do.

Getting into less A:FoP specific and more general lore territory: Something else I found really interesting while digging around on the wiki is that Mokasa is not the Olo'eyktan? He is listed as Anufi's chief advisor, which made him a sort of stand in Olo'eyktan while she was exiling herself, but he isn't actually the Olo'eyktan the way Ka'nat and Nesim are for their respective clans. Even on the wiki, the Olo'eyktan for the Kame'tire is labeled as Unknown. At most we get Okul being named ? Tsakarem? Thats at least what I took from it. But it makes me curious about the other clans and their leadership (also just very curious about them in general lol). There are 16 clans that we know of (that are all still canon) but we really have only really in depth explored 6 of them in the whole series so far. (Just counting the movies and A:FoP right now because I do not have access to the comics or I think the like one? other games that is still canon) Idk im interested in more Olo'eyktan/Tsahik dynamics beyond just mated pairs like we have seen. Like the Zeswa sisters is really cool to me, or father/daughter dynamic with Ka'nat and Etuwa. Obviously, Jake, and later Tarsem, are not mated to Mo'at but there was the intention of Neytiri eventually taking over as Tsahik before the Sully's left, which would have continued the married couple leaders dynamic that we have been seeing.

We also know that Olo'eyktan don't always have to be men (See Nesim for the Zeswa and Ikneyi from the Tayrangi clan that we see in the first film), so then are there examples of male Tsahik somewhere? Okul being presumably named Tsakarem as a nonbinary/gender non-conforming character would imply that on some level, but im curious if we will ever see examples of it.

And finally, somebody has got to let me smooch the characters in this game PLEASE.

If you actually read all that kudos to you and thank you for indulging my screaming.

[crayistic]

FF7 Rebirth Ending Theory ahead so Spoilers!

This is your last chance..... be carful.... I'm deep diving into theory's here lol

- 3

- 2

- 1

- OK!

So i had to get this out of my brain somewhere and this is the best place I could think of. I have been wreaking my brain trying to get my head around a quite confusing ending however I think i have finally settled on what I'm going to believe. Feel free to have your own opinions or questions! All respect and love from over here. =]

I'm working of the fact that there is multiple worlds being created every time the original plan (I.e original game runs) is challenged or changed. So this would mean there is a timeliness running and every time it does its supposed to be a set story but at some point sephiroth got wind of this and challenged fate because he was sick of loosing. Doing this brought the whispers to try and stop him fucking with fate, them themselves also then impacting in someway just for being present.

So far I think we have seen 6 worlds be created. - the one we are in, playing from remake. Being our world. (World 1)

-the one created when we fought the whispers changing fate meaning zack was then saved. (Say world 2), this is the world where he goes after hojo to save cloud.

-2 other worlds are then created one going after biggs and the bomb (world 3) and one where he is outside of the church that sephiroth turns up outside of (world 4)

-one world where aerith and cloud go on their date (world 5)

-and finally one cloud creates when he manages to hit sephiroths sword away from Aerith. (World 6, the only one we dont see a differnt stamp yet)

(It's good to note here that at points where worlds are "created" there seems to be some sort of rainbow effect that happens around them. Examples, Tunnel in the train station, Aerith when she pushes cloud into the portal, zack when he falls through floors into the portal, cloud when he hits sephiroths sword)

We have confermations of atleast 5 worlds by the fact that we see atleast 5 differnt stamp dogs In differnt scenes. However it us also possible that there are more worlds. Each world destiny is to have sephiroth try to destroy it, however he is supposed to be foiled by cloud and the gang minus aerith. However if anything is different, such as tifa, barret and red being dead and aerith and cloud being unconscious then clearly they are not there to defeat him in that world resulting in it being destroyed.

(Side note... the rip in the sky im undecided on if this is a result of multiple worlds, a world that has been changed from the original or if it means the inevitable of its end. Though it would make sence if it is a change present in that world as cloud now has knowledge he didn't before and has been in or is from another world. Also maybe why the others can't see it... but again still quite unsure)

So, I believe when cloud in our world fell with aerith, she herself was saved by him taking the brunt of the fall. I think he was knocked out and then woken up or was pulled into another world were a differnt aerith was waiting for him who knew he would need her holy. We know our cloud is capable of either hearing or seeing some of the other world/s through the fact that he goes to sleep and seems to be connected for a brief moment somehow. In this world he wakes up in, aerith is there with her ribbon in her hair waiting for him. I say this because it's easy to assume he wakes up in the world (world 2) we have been flipping back and forth from as zack but I don't think it is as zack leaves with aeriths ribbon, but also the stamp dog that is present behind him when he is on the train track is a differnt stamp dog that is present when aerith and cloud are on their date after he wakes up in that world world 5). I also think its a differnt world (world 4) to the one where zack is sat outside the church as jonny walks by with again a differnt stamp plush.

When cloud is then pushed into a portal he at first he lands somewhere where he is attacked by whispers. Assuming this is trying to stop him from handing the white materia back to aerith. After the fight he is greeted by one aerith saying we'll we meet again... as if she hadn't just seen him a moment ago. She seems to keep appearing and reappearing from behind trees. I believe these are multiple aeriths from differnt worlds and the one he gives the white materia to is our (world one) aerith, as when she dies we see the materia fall and it is in fact not empty like it had been before.

He then returns to our world (world 1) Ok so now stay with me here... I think at this point this cloud is actually two clouds in one, from world one and world 4. If you remember Marlene saying to zack that he has to make cloud better. She talks about how he trys to save her but doesn't make it in time to zack has to make him better so he can wake up and save aerith. So with this, we then see the scene where aerith is about to die and side by side we see two differnt fates play out. One where he doesn't save her and one where he does. Again we also see the rainbow effect when he knocked sephiroths sword away. We don't see just one outcome, we see them overlap as if they are happening at the same time. This is why I think there could be the presence of two clouds. With aerith being saved this created a new world (world 6).

We know it's possible to have people jump worlds as seen by zack for sure after he fights with cloud back to back. Possibly with aerith also where she was given the white materia. We know there is a theory of worlds merging and coming apart from things sephiroth says aswell as zack the last time we see him. I think the aerith that comes to help cloud fight sephiroth is our aeriths spirit (as she fades away at the end similar to the life force of the plannet) and I think the aerith we see at the end is in fact the one that was saved when cloud deflected the sword. Its possible he can see her because the line between worlds is thin for him after being through the portal and so on. The same with when aerith touches red and he seems to be able to feel her presence. Maybe the reason cloud can see the rip in the sky is also something to do with the lines between worlds being blured for him and why the others can't see it.

It's also possible that is wasn't two clouds and that it was just one, that created another world by saving aerith.. but it makes more sence to me that there would be two as how could one cloud create two possibilities. Unless what was happening was... and again stay with me haha

Maybe our cloud isn't the only cloud we see. We assume it is because we play as him but what if we are just seeing two worlds at once crossing over eachother that is happening at the same time. I'm not sure... but i do think it's in the ball park of either or theory's I have.

Obviously there are holes here and there in every theory because square enix have made is impossibly complicated lol however I still love it and I'm loving the changes and possibilities.

I do think the third game will be focusing on stoping sephiroth and whatever he has planned while joining all of the worlds together again. I do think they plan on having atleast aerith survive somehow this time, I'm hoping for zack to. Either way, I have absolutely loved playing final fantasy VII rebirth, the story, characters, side missions, music, visuals... all of it was fantastic and I can not wait for the end installment. I know there is alot of og fans (me being one of the og fans also) that are disappointed that its not a direct remake but I can say I am not one of them. I think the way that have done this is so clever to also make sure the original was cannon and did also happen and I'm also excited when im playing and see something that is new or different. It gives me something to look forward to with also anxiety of not actually knowing what the outcome will be now.

Anyway, time for me to continue with my post game blues after my 100 hour plus game play! If you read all of my rambles, thanks for sticking around and I hope you have had an awesome day/night.

[jadetheblueartist]

IM SO SORRY I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED YOUR TEGAN ASK

I feel so bad :( you said it took you three hours and also I had written a huge response and now it’s gone ;-;

Okay so I’m going to rewrite my response but I’m really sorry if I get things wrong since now I can’t review what you sent ;-;

————

I LOVE THE IDEA SO MUCH!!!! And I would love to hear more about their training and life on the ship!

I may be obsessing over Talon and Megan a tad bit…

I love all the possibilities of how they passed the time in the car so much. It would be so awkward at the start and I’m all here for it!! I imagine Talon carried most of the conversation from the beginning until after they really got to know each other. I feel like at the start Talon would just awkwardly try to tell her what has happened to the earth while she was gone in hopes of starting some conversation. I’m imagining the parking lot picnic with them just drinking slushees and eating whatever gas station food seemed good (I’m assuming everything is kind of run down?)

Car karaoke. Oh it would be amazing. Talon trying to find songs Megan likes and trying to get her to sing along, windows rolled down, it’d be such a vibe.

With the race scene I can’t stop picturing the scene from princess bride where they both are rolling down the hill XD

Their relationship is so great, two strangers bonding in a long car ride… oh wait they already knew each other? They were already in love from book one? But Megan’s memory was wiped- WAIT NO THEY WERE IN LOVE AND HER MEMORY WAS WIPED!?!? Okay, okay, it’s fine at least they became close again, just a fresh start nothing to worry about… HER MEMORY WAS WIPED A SECOND TIME!?!? TALON THOUGHT SHE WAS DEAD!?!?!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (this is so tragic but I love it so much)

Talon nooooo why the tragic backstory ;-; (I love it very much)

Oh and the art? I LOVE IT SO MUCH!! I love Talon’s design!!!!!! The drawing of him saying happy birthday to himself makes me so sad ;-;

Also question time!

Do you have designs for the sci fi ppl? Are they like aliens or just advanced humans chilling in space? Does Talon hide his tattoo? (I love that type of angst so much mhm hidden scars [in this case a tattoo tho]) and you said there was an image limit… could I see those drawing you couldn’t show? Also why is it called Tegan (is it bc Talon + Megan = Tegan…)? That should be all of my questions…

Anyway I absolutely love this story and please feel free to tell me more whenever! (I’d love to hear a lil more about Ivan too)

Again really sorry abt deleting the ask ;-; I hope you have an amazing day though!!

(I feel like I’m forgetting things I wanted to mention but idk)

Oh my I wrote out this whole thing and it deleted it for me hahaha let’s try this again

No worries about deleting the ask it happens hahaha and it doesn’t look like you got anything wrong so yay!

I’m gonna answer this paragraph by paragraph

-IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT and I’m pretty sure I have either the original google doc or a “Megan’s POV” doc that I can look into to give you those details :)

-I’m so glad you’re obsessing so we can be in the same boat

-I’ve been mulling over that car scene for years and somehow you managed to squeeze out even more serotonin for me to devour I thank thee. And I think it’s run down ish, like people are still there but WW3 is kind of happening/ just happened soooo you know

-it would be the vibiest ^^

-I’m so glad you said that bc I couldn’t connect the dots as to what that scene reminded me of but yeah that’s amazing

-IKR the mind wiping rocked my world. My friend was at the point where she was writing the post separation explosion and we were on face time and she casually mentioned “oh you know the cars weren’t the first time they met, right?” I went feral trying to get all the info out of her hahaha

-yes his backstory makes me so sad…

-I’m glad you like the design! It was our group’s “hot guy” design hahaha I’ve tried to make it more individualized to him over the years tho, and that happy birthday one gets me every time (especially since that’s probably how he spent most his birthdays…)

Yay Question Time!

-I believe I could at least get the designs for those people sometime soon. They are just random people who decided to work for big bad (aka the voice, bc they only heard his voice through speakers at first). The voice decided he could make some good money abducting children and forcing them to be assassins so he did that. The government doesn’t know about them bc they hide in space. The few organizations trying to take them down are the only ones who really know about it

-talon has a few different tattoos, the one he got initiated with is a tattoo/ permanent burn so it has to stay covered to protect it, the other is just on his neck and he leaves that one in the open (I can point it out in the pics below)

-and yes! Tegan is the ship name for Talon and Megan (it was that or Melon hahaha)

-Ivan didn’t really have much personality in the oh other than he was angry bc the scientist that snuck into the escape ship was dating his crush, I’ve made some personal modifications to him in my head though making him more protective rather than just angry (he’s also Megan’s cousin) and I just remembered I have a drawing of him? So cue the picture section :)

Picturesssss

Here’s Ivan, the permanent third wheel (he doesn’t know tho)

The first ever drawings of Talon and Megan 😬

Moving on… idk which of these are repeats so lemme know if they are and I could probably substitute them for new pics

And now the og Megan design vs the much needed redraw

Ughhhh the one on the left still haunts me…

I was struck by the limit again so I might reblog this with a few more, idk hahaha

But reading through this ask made me so happy you have no idea (insert the “I don’t normally feel things but that one got through” donnie gif)

Thank you so much and I’ll look into the daily life on the ship and the sci fi guy designs :)

[kyriaejiraiblog]

i feel like i’m dying so long vent wwwww

i have basically no plans for my future, and my dad is always upset about it, and i can’t even begin to explain why cutting feels so good, and that only makes him more upset and think im insane because i “don’t like pain,” and i “have had an extremely easy life,” and i ruined my entire senior year of high school, and im such a lost cause that i have almost no options anymore

but i can’t kill myself, because even if i wasn’t too pathetic to follow through, my dad said it’s the coward’s way out and i can’t let him win… i feel like im always losing, whether it be friends, money, any possible future…. i can’t lose to him too. i need to figure out how to get out of here. i need to leave. he says i have had everything easy, that because i haven’t gone hungry, have a roof over my head, have running water and electricity, that im lucky he has a high stable income because of how he’s suffered in the past… but he doesn’t know how hard it is to wake up every day.

he says i’m lazy, very smart but so lazy. but there’s a reason i have that depression diagnosis. i want to do so much, but i just don’t have the energy or drive to. i barely have the energy to draw, even for commissions or other people. he says i put so much effort into miku expo, and refuse to do anything for my future. what he doesn’t realize is how hard it was to even start styling that wig, how i bought a cosplay off of amazon 2 days before when i wanted to see one myself. he doesn’t realize that i did, in fact, forget that the concert was happening, until one of the friends i was going with texted me about it.

he says i need a boyfriend. that having one will make me happy. i want to date someone. i really do. but i have such a specific preference that i know it’ll never happen. and even if it does, i know that ill become so obsessive over them that ill drive myself further into a void. because its happened before. i wasn’t even dating him and i had texted and talked constantly. asked him if he loved me. threatened to kill myself if he left. shocker, he cut me off. he had his own issues as well, and i still hate him but that’s not the point. i hate him. despise him. i might kill him if im ever unfortunate enough to see him again.

another guy, i completely broke because i rejected him. we were friends for 3 years. that friendship disappeared in a day. i ghosted him, shunned him. i made an excuse of i wasn’t in the right mental place to date. i was cutting, yeah, but nothing excuses what i did. i tried to reconnect but everything i did made things worse. i’m only good for destroying connections.

another guy i met online, dm’ed him constantly. i always sent my darkest thoughts. 2 years ago, i almost landed him in prison because my dad assumed he was a pedophile. in reality, he only viewed me as someone who needed to escape. he even offered his mom’s phone number if i needed someone else to talk to. i regret everything i did to make him suffer.

i always break relationships. even now. the few people who put up with me are precious, but it always only feels like a matter of time before they leave. i’m surprised one of them didn’t leave the second i hurt him, accused him of talking shit about me (without proof, at that). i still love him dearly as a friend, and am happy i met them.

but look at me, what am i supposed to do? i’m useless. i break relationships. i break people. i destroy myself, and any possible future. i’m smart enough to realize that what i do is jeopardizing any potential success, and yet i choose self destruction anyway for a brief feeling of euphoria.

i want to be able to leave this house. i want to be free of whatever life my dad has planned. but im not sure i ever can. i wish i could live the life i constantly dream of. i wish i was a normal person. i’m so tired of everything.

[narcolini]

night//morning

marcus x luca, long distance pining perhaps?, 2k words tw for talking about death, specifically parents a/n: this contains s2 spoilers!!! dont say i didnt warn you!! also im taking an absolute leap of faith with what those missed calls mean so call it divergence from canon, or assumption of canon, or . yknow. enjoying free real estate idk (same with luca backstory hehe) tagging @drabbles-mc because it exists for her <3

Luca’s phone rings, just minutes before his usual alarm gets chance to—sending that weird fucking tune that Instagram uses, pin-balling from his nightstand, straight into his skull—screen lit and blinding. He should keep it on do not disturb, yeah, he knows that, but as disruptive as it is, this is exactly the reason he doesn’t. It’s meant to wake him up, because there aren’t many people that would message him this early in the morning, and there’s only one that’d ring him over Instagram, of all places. Free of charge and desperately reliant on the good of their internet connections.

‘Yo.’ He clears his throat after picking up, rubbing a hand across his sleep-filled eyes. He’s on his back still, phone to his ear, smirk toying the edges of his mouth once they’ve woken up enough. ‘I’m guessing you got the parcel, then?’

The line is silent in response, and stays so for long enough that he pulls the phone away to check the call’s still connected. His eyes are bleary from the brightness of it, but it is, connected and split screened, both profile pictures staring back at him. Clock counting.

‘Marcus?’ he asks, speaking back into the phone. ‘Think we’ve got a bad connection, mate.’

More quiet. The hum of what sounds like an industrial extractor fan, if he really tries to listen for it. 

‘Can you hear me?’ he asks. 

‘Yeah,’ Marcus says eventually, staccato through the phone, ‘yeah, I, um.’ 

So it’s not the wifi. And there’s an edge to his voice that strips all remaining sleep from Luca's, and pulls him upright until he’s sitting, pillows rolling under his back. ‘You alright?’

‘Sorry.’

‘For what?’

Marcus sighs. The connection warps it into something robotic. ‘Calling you.’

‘Well, I assume there’s a reason for it.’ He wouldn’t ring for nothing, and he wouldn’t struggle if there wasn’t something forcing him to. ‘What’s up?’

Silence again, then the gulls, waking outside Luca’s window. Loud and begging before the sun’s even finished rising. Marcus isn’t doing anything to try and compete with them, though they must be audible to him too, so for a moment it feels like they’re a part of the conversation. Getting their turn while the both of them wait. 

He shouldn’t yawn, he shouldn’t, even with the pause, and he’s really trying not to. Swallowing nothing. Clenching his jaw, relaxing it again. Fighting it back with every trick he knows.

It happens anyway. Loud and stretching down the line. 

‘You want to talk about something else,’ he asks afterwards, since his eyes are starting to droop, ‘until you can talk about whatever it is that’s happened?’

Marcus coughs, dry and purposeless. Forced maybe. ‘I don’t know. I guess.’

That’s good enough. ‘Alright. Where are you?’

It’s a start. Where are you, Marcus, when you should be at home making something to eat, or at work, scrubbing dried dough from the counters. 

‘Out the back,’ he replies, sounding tired with it. Defeated, even.

‘The back of the restaurant?’

‘Yeah. Sitting on a,’ he laughs weakly, ‘a fucking, upturned bucket.’

‘Right. A bucket. That’s the luxury we aim for, isn’t it? As chefs.’

‘Yeah, something like that.’

Upturned buckets and 4AM alarms—which he’s just shut off, now that it’s finally buzzed into life against his ear. 

‘Tough night?’ he asks, sitting up from the pillows. He doesn’t have to go right away, but he has to at least start the process, one step at a time.

The phone cracks as Marcus coughs again. It’s definitely forced, aimed to dislodge whatever’s catching his words before they make it to Luca's ear. ‘Nah, um, good night actually,’ he says. ‘First run with the new, well, new everything. Friends and family.’ 

‘Really?’ Luca smiles. It carries into his voice. ‘Wow, congrats, man.’

‘I mean, it was all Syd and.’

He never finishes the sentence. 

Luca checks the phone again, not to see the connection, but for the time instead. To know how quick he’s going to have to move, if he lets himself be lazy for a little longer.

‘You get that, what was it…?’ He sighs down the line once it’s back to his cheek, rubbing at his sleep-swollen face. ‘Sorry, that bavarois you made, you get it onto the menu?’  

Marcus smiles, or at least he hopes he does. It sounds like it when he replies. ‘Yeah, you know, big hit. Fire, in Carmy’s words.’

‘Oh, that’s when you know it’s good,’ he agrees, finally standing from the bed. ‘Proud of you, mate.’

‘Thank-you.’ 

Another silence to fill, and now it’s getting hard to. Because it’s early, and he’s trying to get dressed, tugging one leg, then the other, into his trousers, with the phone pinned to his shoulder, and he’s asked all he can think to ask, without espresso fuelling his system. 

‘You, um, you get my gift?’ he tries, hopping as he pulls them up to his hips. 

But it was badly timed, in the end, because Marcus chose exactly then to say, ‘My mom,’ at the same time. ‘It’s my mom.’

‘Oh, shit.’ Luca stills. Lifts the phone from his shoulder. ‘Is she—did she—I’m sorry. Fuck.’

‘I missed the calls,’ he says, ‘all, fucking, twenty of them. While we were in the shit.’

‘I don’t know what to say.’ He doesn’t know what to do either, standing half-dressed in his half-lit bedroom, half-way across the world. ‘What happened?’

‘I mean,’ he can picture Marcus shrugging, ‘exactly what we knew would happen. Just, y’know.’

Yeah, he knows.

‘I was expecting it,’ he says. ‘I mean, it had to happen one day.’

Luca sighs. ‘I’m so, so, sorry, Marcus.’

‘Nah, it’s. I mean. Yeah. Life sucks, huh? Really fucking sucks.’ He laughs and it sounds weaker than before. ‘I don’t even know what I’m feeling right now.’

Yeah, he knows that too.

‘I wish I could be there,’ Luca admits. It’s a weak offer of support. Not comforting, not helpful. True, though, and that’s all he can give him. ‘Can I do anything?’ he asks, picking at the wooden edge of his drawers. ‘Anything you need, just let me know and I’ll, yeah, I’ll make it happen.’

‘Nah,’ he sighs, ‘sorry, I don’t know why I called you, really. I mean, we’re not even in the same country.’ 

'It's alright.'

'Opened my phone and it kind of just... happened.'

Because he knew Luca would pick up. ‘Well, I’m awake,’ he reasons, ‘and here, if you need to talk.’

‘Yeah, thank-you. I know.’

‘Not much to say though, is there?’

There’s a silence that Luca can only assume is signalling a head shake, over there in Chicago, in the alley, on top of the bucket.

‘It’s not the same,’ he continues, running with it now, ‘well, I guess it is—sort of—but, when my dad died, I sat in my room for weeks. Didn’t say anything to anybody. Couldn’t if I tried.’ 

‘Your dad?’

He doesn’t pause to answer. He’s already losing the momentum he started with, gone the second he invited Dad back into his head. The only thing to do, is try and continue like they’ve spoken about it a million times before, like Marcus knows the whole fucked up backstory.

‘Went to the funeral, all that stuff, the wake, still said nothing. Just, really, shut down, you know? Shut it out. And my sister, she, well she hated that, but—I mean, and then I went to Chicago and—’

‘Luca, I…’ He’s trying to be polite about it, interrupting in a sheepish way, but what he really wants to say is, shut up, man, it’s not the time for this. It’s evident enough in his tone. His pauses. ‘I’m really trying to keep up, but—’

‘My point is,’ Luca says, quickly followed by, ‘actually, I don’t know what my point is. But this is the worst, worst thing you can go through, alright, I know that first hand. It’s the worst. And I’m here, even if you want to just sit on the phone for company, or something.’

A beat. The tinny sound of a siren passing Marcus on the other side of the world.

‘I’m very good at chatting copious amounts of shit, obviously.’ Luca laughs. ‘So, you know. Whatever you need.’

‘I think I need to quit my job,’ he says, and for a second it feels like someone else has taken the phone, because it doesn’t sound like Marcus at all.

‘Come on, you don’t mean that.’

‘No, I do. I missed every call, Luca. Every call, for fucking what? For the Michael? Do you realise how dumb that is?’

Luca twitches, flexing his shoulders back to correct the posture that had never really sunk in the first place. A nervous thing. Something he picked up in culinary school. ‘It only feels like that now,’ he says.

Marcus scoffs.

‘Sleep on it.’

‘Don’t think that’s happening anytime soon.’

‘Yeah, cause you’ve gotta get off that bucket first.’ It’s like taking another exam, he realises, trying to balance hazelnut swirls onto set custard while your hands are shaking. The balance is everything, get it wrong and he’ll chase Marcus away, just like he did with Frankie. Jokey, but understanding. Patient, but moving him still. ‘Go home, Marcus, see how you feel about it in the morning.’

‘I can’t,' he stresses.

And, shit, he forgot that detail. Somehow, in a conversation all about it. ‘Your mum.’ He sighs. ‘Sorry, I should’ve.’ Forget it. Recover, adapt, fix it from another angle. ‘Is Syd still around?’

‘Think so.’

‘Have you told her?’

He lets that question sit for a while, lets the street noise creep back through the phone in place of his answer. Which Instagram lovingly turns into static, really, radio noise that makes Luca wince. 

Then Marcus says, blank and tired, with a thick voice that needs to be cleared, ‘I think I’m gonna go actually. I should go.’ 

‘Oh.’ It takes a moment for him to recover. ‘Yeah, course, do what you need to do.’

‘Thank-you, you know, for picking up.’

‘Don’t worry about it.’

‘And the gift. It means a lot.’

‘Sure, yeah. I’m glad you like it.’

‘Night, man.’

It’s four in the morning, but he says it back, slipping it in right before the call ends. With that bitter little tone in his ear. If that was an exam, he'd've failed. Maybe. Dropped the details and put his thumb through the layers. 

‘Idiot,’ he mutters, tossing the phone onto the end of his bed. ‘When my dad died. Fuck me.’

Marcus will never call again. He’ll never call him again, actually, not until the funeral’s done and he’s starting to heal from it. Why would he? Who wants to hear that? This is the worst, mate, good luck! 

Christ.

He should’ve said nothing, should’ve waited for Marcus to take the lead and gone from there. Not everyone wants what Frankie wanted. Talking for the sake of talking. 

But he’s running late now, and the t-shirt he’s dragged from the drawers is still sitting around his biceps, waiting to be pulled on. Work first. Work first, then fix it with Marcus. Send another gift, or something, book a plane if you have to. 

He puts his head through the hole and reaches for a pair of socks as the t-shirt rolls down his stomach. Then it’s cologne. Hairbrush. The watch he wears, just to take off and store in his locker once he gets there. Everything he needs from this room, before moving on to the next. Besides his phone, of course, which is waiting on the bed still.

When he reaches it, the screen’s lit already, awake with messages he hadn’t noticed.

Going home, it reads. Thanks for talking me through it. 

It’s in his hand now, staring us from his palm, and telling him that Marcus is still typing. 

And typing.

And typing.

Then, finally, 

Sorry about your dad. 

His chest deflates, held breath escaping at last. Long time ago, he types back. Shout me if you need anything. 

There’s no hesitation this time. Just, Cool. Keep the couch free for me, yeah?

Yeah, sure. All yours.

>>>part two

[avpdpossum]

you have avpd and npd at the same time? if im nosy feel free not to answer, how does that manifest for you? i have avpd and im doubting whether i also have narcissistic or histrionic traits but they seem to be such contradictory pds i think im might be overanalyzing myself

i thought the same thing at first but, at least in my experience, they're honestly not as contradictory as they seem.

a lot of people think they're essentially opposites because they think that npd means having a super high self-esteem while avpd means having a super low self-esteem, but that's an inaccurate (or at least incomplete) picture of npd. in reality, npd is really more about having a super fragile or volatile self-esteem than a consistently high self-esteem, and that definitely can coexist with the characteristic low self-esteem of avpd.

for me, my avpd symptoms tend to be far more outward-facing than my npd symptoms. my internal monologue probably sounds a lot like other pwnpd, but i don't show it as much as some people do because avpd means my go-to coping mechanism for any internal state is avoidance. here's what that might look like:

i, like many pwnpd, can't stand not being the best at something. it totally wrecks my self-esteem. but instead of that manifesting as me being really competitive, i just quit at things really fucking easily, and i'll usually avoid competitive situations at all costs unless i'm with people i'm super comfortable around or i know there will be people who do worse than me. i've been known to stop doing an activity for literal years if i have one single experience of not being as good at it as i expected and even having panic attacks when forced to do it; i rarely do competitive things like board games with people aside from being able to play certain kinds of games with a handful of people that i'm a bit more comfortable being bad at shit with; when i learn new skills, i have to either teach them to myself totally alone or learn alongside other people who are also probably going to be really bad at it, because if there's even a chance i'll be the worst one in the room, i physically cannot make myself do it. i have that classic npd feeling of "i must be the best at everything and i will convince myself that i'm the best at everything and if anything proves that wrong i will go crawl into a hole and die", but the outward expression of it looks very classically avoidant because having avpd means that's always what my brain defaults to when dealing with current or potential distress.

one aspect of npd is incorrectly estimating the effect you have on other people. most people tend to assume this means either overestimating how much of a positive impact you have on people or underestimating how much of a negative impact you have on people, but for me, it often actually shows up as overestimating the negative impact i have on other people. as in, if i say one thing wrong and it seems like it made the other person uncomfortable at all, i'll immediately assume it was the worst thing i possibly could've said and that they'll never get over the trauma i've just caused them by opening my mouth. while a pwnpd doesn't have to have avpd to experience that symptom in this way, i believe i'm probably more likely to than most because having avpd means i'm already predisposed to vastly overestimating the impact of anything negative in an interaction.

the effect that npd has on my ability to feel empathy and generally form social connections is basically just one big vicious cycle that feeds into and is fed into by my avoidance. my sibling once described me (before i knew i had npd) as "bad at caring about other people". i very rarely feel empathy for other people, and i find it really hard to be emotionally invested in other people's lives, even people i enjoy having around and genuinely care about in my own way. the relationships i do have (which aren't many) are selfish in one way or another because my brain doesn't really know how to emotionally connect with people if there isn't something in it for me. all of that tends to create distance between me and other people, since it makes me very bad at forming the kinds of relationships that most people expect, which usually involve some level of empathy and emotional investment as a given. it also makes me distance myself from other people intentionally on top of that, because i know that's something a lot of people see as bad and that a lot of people wouldn't want to be friends with me because of it. it takes the perpetual avoidant anxiety of "if i let someone get close it'll only be a matter of time before they realize i'm a horrible person and leave" and turns it up to 100. so my npd actually ends up making me more avoidant, rather than contradicting the avoidance.

because there are some ways that avpd and npd contradict themselves, and particularly because i tend to stick with avoidance as my coping mechanism of choice, my brain is basically in a constant state of frustration. i want to pick fights and prove that i'm right, but the attention it gets me is torture so i either just sit there and quietly implode or say something, inevitably get negative attention for it, and retreat into my little avoidance hole in a panic to quietly implode (but worse). i want to stand up for myself when i feel like i'm not being treated the way i deserve and make other people treat me right, but the idea of them even knowing i exist (or, god forbid, disliking me because of how i want to be treated) is so unbearable that instead i just go through the world constantly feeling like i'm being mistreated and can't do anything about it. i want to follow all these grandiose fantasies i craft for myself about my future and be the best at everything ever, but i know deep down that there's a chance i won't be that good and not being that good feels like total failure, so instead i end up letting opportunities fall away as i avoid pursuing them and having to just sit there knowing i could be capable of way more, thinking about all of the delicious attention and praise i'll never get for it. i want to act on all of these npd thoughts and feelings, but because they're incompatible with avoidance and that's literally all i know how to do, i just torture myself internally instead.

those are just a few examples, there are definitely more ways they overlap, interact, and butt heads in my daily life, but those are the ones that come to mind as i'm writing this.

basically, i don't seem like someone with npd because my avoidance likes to take over most of the time when it comes to my outward behaviors, but internally i'm just one big chaotic mess of avoidant and narcissistic traits amplifying, combining with, or crashing into each other.

i can't speak as much to hpd because i don't have it, but i assume it's similarly not as contradictory as one might think. a disorder that's (at least in more simplistic conceptualizations of it, i don't know all about it) based around an unbearable need for attention may seem incompatible with avpd, the disorder that's makes you terrified of being known by anyone ever. but avpd also tends to involve really wanting relationships with others to a painful extent, even if you can't make yourself pursue them, and i imagine that has the potential for overlap with hpd.

good luck figuring it all out!

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

GENERAL RULES FOR MY BLOG.

<- back to navi

☆ I write for:

— bucky barnes — logan howlett — matt murdock — moonboys — miguel o’hara (not so much anymore) — peter quill (not so much anymore) — pietro maximoff — spencer reid — tangerine

☆ here are some do’s and don’ts :

— please do not copy, rewrite or translate any of my work on any platforms. even though it may not seem like it, I spend many hours on piece alone

— mdni as a majority of my content is 18+ and the characters I write about are adults

— be sure to read the warnings in each post. I have tagged it carefully, but im not responsible for your media intake

— I write for fem!readers only unless stated/ asked otherwise, but some of my fluff fics can be considered GN

— I have started to delete requests that get sent in when they’re closed. I know sometimes people may not realise when it’s shut, but they’re closed for a reason

— I don’t use y/n or appearance details unless requested so

— although im sensitive, im open to constructive criticism and feedback, but if you don’t like something, please be nice about it

— please don’t send me an ask that you have already sent to another writer

— please don’t spam me with the same request as I’ll be less likely to write it

— sending in a request doesn’t guarantee I’ll be able to write it, I appreciate you sending them in, but im just not able to complete every request I receive. and if I don’t connect with the request, I’ll be less inclined to write it

☆ some guildelines for what to request :

— when sending in an ask, please try to be as specific as you can. ‘fluff’ or ‘smut’ isn’t a request, id like to know exactly what it is you’d like

— im nsfw friendly, so I take smutty requests

— for smut requests, female readers only

☆ I will write :

fluff, smut, angst, comfort, reverse comfort

18+ only. im good with most things & kinks, some examples- light bondage, choking, climax control, dom/ sub (preferably male dom) praise, degradation, age gap (nothing too wild though) public stuff, food play || basically anything along those lines

☆ I won’t write :

real people, dubcon/ noncon or cnc, heavy bdsm, anal (includes eating) pegging, anything toilet related, daddy kinks/ ddlg, raceplay/ racism, sexual abuse/ assault || basically anything extreme, i personally prefer soft sweet, lovey dovey sex, so I don’t like writing anything on the contrast

but if there’s anything unsure of, please message, I promise im not mean :)

☆ few more things :

— in my smut fics, I often don’t mention any contraception- to me, as it’s fiction, pregnancies and sti’s etc, don’t exist, so it feels pointless to write/ describe it. like it takes up space that’s not necessary needed. if you were wondering, no, I don’t have a breeding kink that I worm into my writing lmao. I just feel it’s pointless to mention- unless it’s specified/ asked for in a request etc

— just know that it may take a little while, im not ignoring you- it also depends on how many requests are in my inbox. unfortunately im not able to write every request I get. also please don’t be offended if I don’t write yours, or if I write requests out of order from when I receive them, sometimes I feel more like writing some asks more than others

— if you have any ideas or requests, I would be happy to write them for you- assuming you like my writing. feel free to send in requests (preferably drabbles, blurbs, HCs) for any mcu male character - but if there’s one im not comfortable writing, I’ll nicely say so in response :)

— also be sure to enable mature on your content filters (ofc if you want to) just so you can see things that may be blocked by community labels

[siblingskissing]

B, D, F, I, J, K, P, and V for Jason? 🥺 sorry for the weird request but im totally obsessed with him lmao

Never apologize for being weird my friend! I'm assuming this is for Jason Carver, if I'm wrong feel free to correct me!

Jason Carver NSFW Alphabet Headcanons

Link To The List

B- Body Part

Jason is definitely a thigh guy- He loves gripping and stroking up people's thighs and massaging the skin. He loves when they wrap around him- whether he's carrying someone or their on top of him- he likes the pressure

For his own body- he loves his muscles. He works hard for them, spends hours training and working out so he admired what he's worked for. He's not a body builder type but the muscle he had is admirable in his eyes.

D- Dirty Secret

This guy is a bit of a pervert. he preaches about values and thinks dark kinks are too far but during practices he sometimes has to leave to relieve himself. Something about aggressive and assertive attitudes mixed with visuals of the cheerleaders practicing... he's making bathroom trips like it's nobodies business.

F- Favorite Position

he's pretty basic- he loves Missionary. Something about being able to hold his partner while kissing and making eye contact is appealing to him. If he's feeling particularly adventurous he'll let his partners ride him, he doesn't enjoy doggy as much but he'll do it to make his partner happy.

I- Intimacy

This guy is the dorkiest romantic out there- rambling "I love you"s while he's thrusting and cumming with his partner's names on his lips. He's a little lover boy and let's everyone know it. He's gonna hold your hands while you make love (because that's what he calls it- making love) and will make sure your hips are elevated and your body is relaxed

J- Jack Off

I don't think he masturbates often. A lot of his sexual frustrations are often expelled through working out/practice but when he does masturbate he is very particular.

He has to have the entire house empty- he doesn't like his family overhearing them when he gets worked up so he tends to hold back until the door is shut. He will start off usually by looking through a skin mag, or with a face in mind. He lets himself get worked up, running his hand over his stomach slowly before guiding them into his boxers. Often he just gets naked- but sometimes he keeps it all in the dark, lets himself stroke nice and slow, thumb occasionally brushing over the head of his cock and along the vein underneath the head.

If he has more time he'll massage his balls as well, draws his orgasm out nice and slow. If he has to hurry he'll end up rutting against something- the mattress, a pillow, anything soft enough that won't give him carpet burn

K- Kinks

I don't think he's exceptionally kinky- he likes being dominant but not overly so. If he does have any kinks I'd say Breeding, a bit of pain/manhandling, definitely loves to worship his partners. To him sex is mostly for that connection so he doesn't really factor in kinks

P- Pace

He happily spends hours admiring and worshipping his lovers. He hates quickies with a passion, hates the idea that he has to speed past foreplay or kisses. He'd happily take hours just to strip and kiss at his partners body- to make note of every miniscule detail

V- Volume

I don't think he's exceptionally loud- definitely talks a lot but mostly in whispers. His moaning would be louder- getting louder and deeper as he reaches his peak. He mostly tries to listen to his partner but when he feels good it's obvious

[p5x-theories]

Bad ending*: Enco is a mix of both Haru and Akechi, like Closer is a mix of Skull and Panther, making him the last plot relavent team member

Good ending: Enco is Haru, Wuhexi is Akechi and Changweiaizhu is Sumire.

*Of course im joking, a mix between Haru and Akechi could actually be interesting plot wise, and making him be different enough character wise despite being both two brown haired bishonens. Plus having the 'traditor' being a rich guy while Akechi was at the bottom of japanese society before being a celeb would make the two interacting pretty interesting. The real probelm its that Enco and Wonder give me 0 yaoi vibes 😔😔😔😔 /J again lmao

(At this point i just come here to yap fhdjdh)

(Please feel free to pop into the askbox with random thoughts! Helps liven up the blog to get asks in-between game updates, heh.)

These are both intriguing theories, though! I agree that Enco being a mix of Haru and Akechi could be super interesting, especially given the main connection between Haru and Akechi is that Akechi killed Haru's dad, haha. But it'd also, of course, be more fun to have a larger amount of story teammates, rather than fewer. I suppose these theories are assuming that Polter's the Futaba (as opposed to a Futaba and Haru combo, or even some other combination)?

Also, let's be fair- right now it's probably hard to imagine much in the way of interactions between Enco and Wonder (or Enco and anyone else, for that matter) because we still barely know anything about him! Maybe they'll have more "yaoi vibes" to you once the guy's had at least one line or something, haha.

That aside, Chengweiaizhu as Sumire would be super fun, I'd love to see that! Story teammate Wuhexi would also be great.

[mangoshorthand]

i have this stupid fantasy that i’d love if you wrote for me. i can’t quite get five’s character down so if you’re up for it, i’d really appreciate it. if not that’s ok too.

i’m a friend of victor’s; initially when he was writing his book about growing up in the hargreeves family, he presumably needed a connection in the publishing industry to ensure his story would be told accordingly and accurately. through a friend of a friend of a friend (you know how it is) we meet and i get his book published through my connections as a famous (albeit anonymous) writer (i write under a pen name), and eventually a friendship blooms from this.

during the holidays, victors invites me over -for a party, an errand or just to keep him company- and never a dull moment in the hargreeves mansion, i inevitably meet five.

having read through victor’s manuscript, i know of him, but im now just putting a name to a face. as pleasantries are exchanged and conversations continue, five -being an avid reader- unconsciously recognises my cadence and way of speaking from the works of mine he’s read, but can’t quite remember where he knows me from. assuming the worst, that i’m a spy, associated with the handler among other paranoias of his, he does some digging, pressing victor about how he knows me, how we met, etc. , before eventually finding out, i’m not only a famous writer. i’m his favourite writer.

I think if anyone writes this, it will have to be you. You obviously have a very clear idea for this project and I don't think what I or any other authors produced would ultimately be as good as what you would produce.

Also, to be entirely honest, I prefer fulfilling less detailed prompts with more scope for me as a writer to determine plot, if that makes sense? I would feel a bit constrained by something so specific.

But I'd really encourage you to try writing it. I would like to read this fic and I see great potential in it - you just need to decide on theming and an ending, (e.g. what do Five and the main character learn from all this? What do they give to each other, how do they mirror and/or contrast each other?).

There's at least 30,000 words in this idea imo. I'm imagining you could do a lot of nice flashback work with Five reading the main character's books during some of the worst points in his life (apocolpyse illness, after his first Commission kill, when he gives up trying to save the world at the Hotel Obsidian etc.), and then with the big emotional payoff of discovering that the main character is the author? Love it!

If you choose to go ahead with this (and i really hope you do!), I'd be very happy to consult on Five's character or anything you feel you need support with. Feel free to DM me once you have something to work with. 🙂

[vorareromantic]

okay instead of vagueposting my breakdowns like usual im going to try something different. i feel really lonely lately. a lot of the time i feel like no one would talk to me if i didn't say something to them first. i feel like a lot of my life has been me forcing friendships and then wondering if anyone cares and sometimes i do get into these moods where it feels like nobody would notice if i just stopped posting or replying and just dropped off the internet. im way too addicted to tumblr to cave in and test that but it just feels really isolating. i always feel like i care more about other people than they do about me. being autistic is isolating on its own, it's also really isolating having the level of c-ptsd that i have because i know it permanently altered how i view my interactions and connections with other people and everyone always tells me it'll get better once i find good people but i don't know how to do that. the vast majority of my friends only text me when they need to vent and ignore me the rest of the time. people tell me how great of a friend and person i am and how i deserve great things but then they never give me the time of day. it really sucks because the vast majority of the time i don't even need to talk about whatever's bothering me. i dont even know where id start with that because people dont really care enough to let me get into it and im not used to talking like that. i usually just want to have any amount of conversation with someone. about anything. i dont think i really could get into it if someone even did ask, or id probably apologize profusely afterwards and assume the person hated me now. i dont really know because it doesnt happen a lot. i just realized earlier today when i was having an episode that i dont really have anyone to text and tell that i needed support. the more it happens the less safe i feel with people. at this point it genuinely feels like everyone will get sick of me and there's no point trying to bond with anyone because they only ever want to be around me when they're struggling. and that doesn't do good things for me either to talk to most people in my life only when they're unhappy. and im too much of a people pleaser to say no because then they wont talk to me EVER. or they'll lash out because they always seem to. because i said id be there for them and they could always come to me but if im not up for it one time i get guilt tripped or harassed. it just feels so lonely and isolating and i just wish i had people i could rely on without being scared of them. sometimes it feels like caring about other peope comes so naturally to everyone unless it's about me. and i know a lot of people dont even see me as a person, they've told me that even. that they see me as a reward for their hardships because ill deal with anything or that im just a free therapist to them or that they dont care about me but they keep me around because i help them so much and they dont want to live without me. which is fucking horrible to feel and hear by the way, it makes me feel like a commodity. i just wish people cared about me but it feels like i wasn't made for that