#<- IDK im just tagging anything at this point

[virgincels]

WHITE BOY WASTED !

ft. og4!leon s. kennedy x fem!reader x og4!ashley graham

tags. intoxication, dub-con/non-con idk atp, ffm threesome, unrequited love (leshley), leon is the one that gets dub-conned, very unsatisfying sex and smut, oral

note. @rigorwhoring hi you beautiful beautiful girl happy birthday sorry this is so late!!! i hope u enjoy this and i hope u have the best day ever!!! not my best work but forgive me im writers blocked to hell and back… this is edited but if u see a mistake please ignore… my excuse for excessive repetition and simplicity is 😇 ashley pov 💪💯 I LOVE U EM <3 this got so long winded and boring I’m sorry I didn’t mean for all of this 😓😓

When Leon lets it slip that he’s got a girlfriend, Ashley thinks her life might be over amidst this sweaty crowd with her nose powdered in more ways than one. Her smile breaks in half, the plump of her bottom lip taken between lipstick-smeared teeth as she tries to put on her big girl face.

“I’m so happy for you,” Ashley says with eyes too wide to be genuine, her voice cracks and her hands drop from his shoulders where they fit so nicely, the initial excitement of him showing up tonight dims. She’ll have to retire those fantasies and rely on that hairbrush she calls Leon for the rest of her life.

“Ashley—“ Leon’s voice is muffled, it might be the bass or the blood rushing in her ears.

“No, this is totally so fun, Leon, this is—Like, gosh, I’m so happy for you, you wouldn’t even believe how happy I am, I’m like literally squealing to myself, oh my gosh, like, like—“ She thinks she’s going to cry.

“Ashley.“ His scowl deepens, the severity in his eyes is wounding her, like, oh my god, doesn’t he know not to look at her that way? Gosh, the way Leon breathes could set Ashley off, like, why are you huffing at her? Why did you use that tone of voice? Why, why, why? She’s not stupid, Ashley is like a master at reading body language.

“Why did you show up, Leon?” Ashley cuts him up once more, she feels light on her feet all of a sudden, it could be the high or it could be enlightenment. “Like, you never—you never come when I ask you to show up.” Did he come to rub it in her face? That he’s got a girlfriend and that means Ashley has even a less of a chance with him than she did before.

“You called me,” Leon tells her, and he’s trying to be loud over the music, but it feels like he’s shouting at her. He is shouting at her. He’s using this party invite as an excuse to be mean, to get away with how he truly feels about her. Leon never shouts so he must be mad—He wants her out of his life, that’s what he’s going to tell her.

Ashley, you’re an annoying little bitch, and nobody actually likes you, they stick around because you pay for everything and that’s the only real reason anyone would ever want to be around you. Anyway, I have a girlfriend and she’s a hundred times hotter than you, and she’s not a kid, she’s my age. By the way, I remember when you kissed me in my sleep on the flight home from Spain, you’re a fucking creep and I would never waste my time with a little girl like you, can you even wipe your own ass or wild your boyfriend have to do that for you too?

Yes, Leon, I can wipe my ass! Do you want to watch? It’s a date.

With this newfound clearheadedness clutched at her side like a holy book, Ashley stills her quivering lip. “I always invite you to parties,” she points out, “so why did you show up today?”

“You called me,” he repeats, “I don’t answer texts ‘cause I don’t get what you mean, I thought—I mean, I just thought you were pressing the buttons—I didn’t know they meant anything.“ Leon shakes his head to reset his jumbled thoughts. “You never call, I got worried, I thought you needed help.”

“Oh my god, don’t do this to me right now, Leon!” She struggles to get away from him, the walls are closing in on her and there’s too many people to move an inch.

“I’m not trying to do anything, I thought you were hurt—“ Leon follows her movements closely. He’s good at that - shouldering past whoever’s in Ashley’s way, parting a crowd like the Red Sea just so she can make her way through. It’s only because she’s his responsibility—well, not anymore, Ashley hasn’t been his responsibility for six months, but still, it makes her feel special.

It’s so unfair, it’s so not fair. This is like emotional cheating, she read about that in the cosmopolitan. Like, where your mind says one thing and your heart says another, if Leon seriously liked his girlfriend, would he be chasing around after Ashley right now? He’s leading both of them on—They’re in this together, personally victimised by Leon S. Kennedy.

“Yeah, well, I’m not,” Ashley sniffles, she is so hurt his stupid boy brain couldn’t even comprehend the spiking levels of hurt inside of her right now, “so, like, can you go now?”

“Ashley,” he says her name again, is that all he has to say to her? Ashley, Ashley, Ashley—If he gave her the chance, he could be saying it in bed. Please, Leon, she could pop his hip out of place if he let her get on top. “Are you drinking?”

“Yes, duh, Leon, oh my gosh, I am doing a lot more than that!” She recalculates her path to the nearest possible exit, skin going pink with the gust of wind that has her skirt flying up. Leon smooths it back down for her, and then he spins her around to face him. And it’s so dangerous to be this close to him, Ashley really might do something bad. Like, like, she might have to get her dad to cover up a criminal record if Leon doesn’t get off of her right now. Every governing body is made up of sex pests anyway. It’s not like it would be a big deal.

“What is up with you?” His brows are knit with concern. She counts all of his freckles.

You have a girlfriend and everything is ruined. You have a girlfriend and everything is worse now. You have a girlfriend and now I can’t get off to you without feeling guilty and jealous and sick to my stomach. Did Spain mean nothing to you? You hugged me and you held my hand. Why don’t you answer my texts? How can you pretend nothing happened between us?

Instead of saying anything mildly intelligent or moving, Ashley hiccups and then keels over to vomit on his shoes. She narrowly misses them. Leon makes it all worse by rubbing her back and telling her to let it all out. Because he’s just like that. He’s a really good guy and it’s way too easy to fall in love with him.

When he offers to drive her home, Ashley whimpers out a ‘no’ but clings onto him anyway. Leon does her seatbelt up, and he puts the heaters on to warm her up. He switches the radio station from rock to KIIS-FM and then he squeezes her hand over the gearshift.

Leon gets out to talk to security even when they recognise his car as he pulls up, and he insists on dropping Ashley right inside even when she brushes him off and says it’s fine.

Really. It’s so fine, Leon. This is embarrassing enough as it is, I don’t want you to see mom and dad scold me like I’m a kid in front of you—Like, seriously, Leon, there’s no need to do that, or drop me off to bedroom—I’ve got it from here, I don’t want you to see my bedroom, I still have stuffed toys and I can’t even make my own bed and I can’t even pick my clothes up off the ground.

Of course, Ashley says none of this, and she doesn’t have the energy to lift her head and see her daddy’s fallen face, she just lets Leon take her to bed. He doesn’t come in thank god, but he kisses her forehead at the door and then leaves for good.

“Wow,” is all Ashley has to say when she meets you for the very first time. She hasn’t seen a skirt that short since daddy pulled her out of that Catholic boarding school. She hasn’t seen tits like that since she checked hers out in the mirror this morning.

Why are you cool? It’s not supposed to go like this. Ashley isn't ready to face someone like you. Oh my god, it’s like the universe is against her, you look like the whole world rolls over when you ask it to.

Neither you or Leon have spotted her yet, so she hides behind one of her casually dressed security guards. Ashley looks at the text she sent.

Ashley: HAI LEON !! u still up 2 meet 2mrw?? :3

Ashley: OMG vry excited 2 c u 2day. LMK if u want 2 cum over 2! BYOB though !! *laughing emoji*

Ashley: Only jk Leon :3 We have W/E beer u like! Anyway G2G TTYL wen I c u there ^-^

Ashley: OMW RN leon B4N ;)

Ashley: Oops >_<

Ashley: :)****

Leon: Okay, Ashley.

Leon: :)

Oh my god, desperate much? He didn’t even respond to her prior texts and she just kept going. The smiley face must mean he’s not mad.

Her phone beeps, she dreads to open it.

Leon: Hey, you here yet?

Leon: :)

Ashley blinks at her screen and wonders if it’s worth showing face. But, her dad is so going to ask how it went down later, and Ashley is awful at lying and she’ll burst into tears and get sent right back to that awful therapist with the stuffy nose. So she takes whatever insecurity she has and shoves it up her ass, it can fix itself like intestines after a surgery.

“Leon!” She springs herself on him from behind, and he’s not much taller than her, but he manages to not topple over, his hands settle over hers as she squeezes his middle tight.

“Ashley.” That’s a smile in his voice, she hopes. She traces a heart on his shoulder blade before she removes herself from his space. It’s very hard to have self control when you’ve never been told no.

“Sorry I’m late, Leon, there was traffic, and then I lost my handkerchief and then I dropped my phone and it wasn’t working for a minute and—Oh.” She lies to Leon ‘cause it’s easy to lie to a guy you want to look cool in front of, someone you want to impress, it’s not easy to lie in front of daddy. “Is this your girlfriend, Leon?”

She pretends her heart doesn’t lurch when he wraps an arm around your waist to draw you closer to him. “Yeah, uh, babe this is Ashley.”

Ashley looks you up and down for anything she can pick on, anything that she does better than you. But her data scan finds nothing of the sort. You’re perfect and Ashley has never felt more homicidal in her life—Apart from that time she was plagas-riddled.

Unfortunately, you are really fucking cool, and you make her feel more comfortable than Leon ever has, you take the edge away and she’s finally able to relax in front of him.

You work at an office part time, but you spend most of your time out and about, making connections that get you free designer handbags and you have acrylics and ankle-breaking heels and a lip combo she would die for. You are everything she wants to be if it wasn’t for this presidency bullshit. Ashley wants nothing more than to wear a skirt that covers less than half her ass, that flashes everyone in a ten mile radius anytime she takes a step.

“I thought he was ignoring me, I didn’t know he couldn’t read them!” Her texts aren’t that bad, she knows people who don’t even leave a space between their words.

“I wouldn’t ignore you,” Leon mumbles, his lips pressed together in what might be the closest thing to a pout

“Oh em gee, you’re like not even that old, Leon,” she giggles, covering her mouth because she has never liked the way her two front teeth are a little bigger than the rest, and she doesn’t need Leon to pick up on that.

“He doesn’t even know how to make a smiley, I did it for him,” you tell her, “he barely answers my texts, I have to call him every single time.”

You tell her insider info about Leon that she couldn’t even get if she stalked him everyday for the rest of her life. Ashley really likes you, and she can see why Leon really likes you too, and she can’t lie, it kind of makes her really distraught, but if Leon is happy, Ashley is happy.

Oh, who is she kidding?

It doesn't work like that.

Ashley’s selfish. It doesn’t matter if you make Leon happier than he’s ever been, she still wants him to be hers. Not that he would ever even consider anything between the two of them, but him being happy won’t stop Ashley from being unhappy.

“We should go out tonight,” you offer a little while later, and Leon shakes his head immediately.

“She’s twenty,” he murmurs into your ear.

“So?” You seem to do that a lot - ignore everything Leon says in favour of what you want. “You drink, right, Ashley?”

“Yeah, duh, of course I do!” Ashley nods so fast she gives herself whiplash.

You give her a time, place, dress code and a kiss on her cheek. Ashley promises that she’ll be there on time, fake ID in hand.

Ashley finds both of you huddled in a booth, your arm is around Leon’s waist and his face is pressed into your neck, looking awfully small as he speaks. “She’s a kid, it’s illegal.”

“Everyone drinks, Leon, have you never been to a party? Nobody waits until they’re twenty-one, I mean, only you did that.” You use your free hand to card your fingers through his hair. “She really likes you, y’know?”

“Yeah, I know,” Leon huffs like a pouty toddler, “it drives me crazy.”

She holds in a noise. While Ashley has made her attraction to Leon clear, while he rejected her attempt at flirting, at what might’ve been solicitation when she looks back at it, he’s never expressed annoyance at it. Oh god, he finds her annoying. Mega annoying. Like one of those silvery bugs college dorms can’t get rid of. Or rats in the New York subway.

Oh my gosh, she’s a fucking bed bug!

“I think it’s cute.” You kiss his forehead tenderly, and Leon’s light lashes dust your cheeks like spiked plumes. “She could be fun, I bet she’s a virgin too.”

Ashley’s cheeks warm. Is it that obvious? Why is her virginity a topic of discussion anyways? Biologically speaking, like, like hymen-wise, Ashley tore that shit up like a sheet of baking paper the moment she got back from Spain. So she’s not technically an actual virgin, just by, like, modern day standards. Like she’s never let another guy touch her ‘cause they’re not Leon, and it might be childish, but she really wants it to be Leon. She’s kissed a couple girls, but only at sleepovers and only in a friendly way.

“No, god, no fucking way.” He sits up, and she watches him shrug off his jacket like he’s started to overheat. Ashley wishes she could see his face from here. “She’s a kid, babe, I’m not… I can’t do that to her.”

“She’s not a kid, Leon, kids do not have tits like that, I promise you.” You pluck the cherry from his drink. “And she likes you, I don’t see the big deal.”

“She’s… She trusts me, it doesn’t matter if she likes me, she trusts me, and if we do that with her—I can’t have her thinking that I want to date her, I can’t do that to her, she’s a kid, man.”

Ashley wonders if the two of you are looking to find a cute, young girl to kill.

“You’ll change your mind,” is what you tell him, and then you knock back only half of your drink before passing it off to Leon. It’s either that he can’t say no to you or no to a drink, but he takes it and he doesn’t leave a drop.

She hesitates to make herself known. But when else is she going to get the chance to see Leon? He’s busy, and so is she, well, sort of, with parties and sorority and daddy nagging at her.

“Hi.” Ashley slides into the booth and faces you, Leon’s back straightens and he nods at her. Too pissed off to even give her one of his cute smiles.

“Ashley, you look so cute, oh my gosh.” It’s kind of scary how you’re able to fall in and out of speech patterns, putting on your best airhead voice to communicate with Ashley.

“Thanks, so do you!” Ashley thinks brand clashing is tacky, but you pull off Baby Phat jeans and a Von Dutch top pretty effortlessly. You press the sole of your heel to her shin and give her a smile worth dying for.

You don’t dance because Leon refuses, and you say that it’s boring to go on your own, and Ashley knows she’ll be in dire trouble if anyone catches her out here. So you talk, and Ashley listens, and Leon dozes off with his eyes closed. He accepts every drink you give him, and he finishes off all of Ashley’s too. By the end of it, his cheeks are pink and his eyes are glassy like two blue marbles. You make her feel like she needs to fit in, like she needs to keep up and Ashley has never felt that way before.

“Have you fucked a girl before?” You ask her like you’re asking about classes or something so mundane—Not if she’s a fucking lesbian or not.

“What? No, oh my gosh, I’m not like a lesbian,” she mouths the word ‘cause, y��know, that’s weird.

“Have you fucked a guy then?” You tilt your head to the side like you know something, and when Ashley goes to lie she makes the mistake of looking into your eyes.

“No…” Ashley shakes her head slowly, she plays with the hem of her pleated skirt. “I mean like, like, like—“

“It’s totally okay, Ashley.” You wave off her nerves. “Do you want to fuck me?”

“What?” Her eyes bulge out of her skull so fast she gives herself Graves’ disease. “What? Oh my god, like, what?”

Leon is completely disengaged at this point, using a pink straw to stir around melting ice in his cocktail glass. His eyes are dropping, and when he looks up, he gazes at her through his lashes.

“Okay, well, do you want to fuck Leon?”

What is this, like, an interrogation? Ashley hasn’t done anything wrong, not yet at least. Lord, she promises, she hasn’t tried anything funny on Leon—Only once, on the flight back to Spain, and it barely qualifies as a kiss, like she just brushed his lips, it wasn’t anything major.

“Well, well, like, well—“ Ashley stammers for a minute or so, and you look at her all like, ‘take your time’ ‘cause you’re weirdly calm when you say weird fucking things and make her feel weird.

“I don’t mind if you want to fuck him, I’m asking because I think he wants to fuck you.” You’re lying to her face, ‘cause Ashley heard what Leon said, a very clear no, but she believes you anyway ‘cause she wants to believe that Leon wants her. “And I want to fuck you too.”

“I’ll drive,” you tell Leon who doesn’t even look coherent, he slumps back in the passenger seat and looks like he did on the way home from Spain. With his hair falling in his eyes, his lips parted and his hands curled into tight fists. Babies sleep like that.

You make eye contact with Ashley in the rear view mirror and give her a smile so pretty the reflection is blinding enough, she can’t imagine what it looked like up close. She feels like an ant under the burning glow of a magnifying glass. She feels your teeth in her neck. She’s going to feel Leon’s dick inside of her tonight. It might not be entirely legal, but when you’re a girl in a male-dominated world, you have to do what you have to do.

Leon’s house, Ashley thinks as she walks inside, her heels clacking in time with yours.

Leon’s house, Leon’s coat rack, Leon’s plain interior design, Leon’s couch. Leon’s bedroom, Leon’s bed, Leon’s pillow, Leon’s scent. Leon’s girlfriend. Leon Leon Leon.

He’s on his front in bed, still fully clothed, boots and all. You take them off for him and put them to the side, you hang his jacket in his wardrobe, and you begin to take off his jeans. Leon makes a noise of protest in the back of his throat, it’s soft and whiny, the sort of noise a distressed dog makes, and it’s so unlike him she feels something thrumming between her thighs.

“C’mon, baby, lift your hips, it’s just me,” you hum, slipping your hands up his shirt and rubbing circles into his sides, “don’t make a fuss, Leon.”

A second or two pass, and Leon lifts his hips, you wrestle with his jeans and toss them on the floor. No fucking way. No fucking way. There is no way in hell Leon has a nicer ass than her. There is no way in hell Leon doesn’t wear boxers under his jeans, and there is no way in hell this is Ashley’s real actual serious life right now. Like, none of it adds up.

“Oh,” Ashley says softly when she sees his dick. It’s small. Not big. Just—It’s just sort of there. Maybe it’s the angle he's at. Laying on his front, dick laid out on the bed like it’s a toy or something. He would look cute in a jockstrap.

“It’s cute, right?” You pinch his thigh and Leon’s toes curl in his socks. She doesn’t know if you mean his ass or his dick or his balls, they’re pretty cute too. Like. Round and everything balls should be. It’s just—It’s just a little underwhelming. “Roll over, baby.”

He listens like a good dog, rolls onto his back and pants into your mouth when you kiss him. He’s fucking out of it—This isn’t even Leon anymore, Ashley’s not sure if she likes this or not.

She’s not sure if this is how she wants him. It’s not how she’s thought about him on top of her, guiding her, holding her hips and slowing her down when she got ahead of herself.

“Do you want his face or…?” You gesture to his dick and her lust rears its ugly head, she’s willing to overlook the state she’s in to get that dick inside of her. Where it belongs. All four inches tucked away for no one to find. “Ash?”

“Oh… I don’t really know.” Ashley’s bottom lip juts out, because she has always known what she’s wanted, and she always gets what she wants—And now that it’s right in front of her, she can’t even verbalise that yes, she wants his dick so bad, she wants to die and come back to life on that tiny little thing.

“Hey, it’s okay.” You pat the space beside you and she sits, curling into your side as Leon sucks on the tip of your thumb like he's a pin-up girl. “I know it’s not much, but it’s not his fault, I was upset too when he showed me for the first time—“

“No, no—It's not that, oh my god, I’m just, like, nervous.” Ashley shivers as you trail your fingers up and down the jagged edge of her spine, like you’re swiping a credit card. Like you’re trying to open a locked door from the outside.

“Aw, Ashley, you don’t need to be nervous,” you coo, and then you grope her tit so hard she doesn’t have the time to feel nervous, she just feels out of her wits, “he totally likes you, like, I promise, just lay back, ‘kay?”

“Um, okay, I just don’t feel like I should be doing this if Leon is, like, really drunk—“ Ashley yelps as you push her back into the pillows, they’re both flat and blue and they smell like Leon.

You bunch up her skirt above her belly button, toying with the waistband of her panties as you urge Leon to press his face against her puffy pussy. When he sort of slumps into her, head flopping onto her padded thigh, you take him by the hair and force his face into her panty-clad cunt. He’s a fish hooked on a line.

“Good boy,” you praise, hooking your fingers in Ashley’s pink panties and sliding them over the swell of her perky ass and down her legs.

His tongue flicks over her swollen clit, and Ashley lets out a quiet whimper, muffled into the cupped palm of her hand, like she’s trying to keep a secret.

You busy yourself with her tits, telling her that you’ve been waiting to get your hands on them since she wandered into your peripheral. That you noticed them first, and that she shouldn’t be ashamed to show them off. It doesn’t matter what her daddy says.

You’ve got ‘em for a reason, Ashley!

She’s never had her tits played with. Duh. Like, she’s tried pinching her nipples and it’s never done much, but this—Her pussy flutters each time you pop off her hard nipples, leaving your mouth both pinker than they went in.

When her back bows off the bed, none of it is Leon’s doing, his sloppy tongue in her sloppy pussy, giving languid licks up and down her slit from her clit to her hole—It’s you and your quick tongue and your hands on her tits and oh my god, what is wrong with her?

Ashley is not a lesbian and she really likes Leon. She doesn’t know much, but she went into this threesome knowing that, and now you’ve gone and thrown it all up into the air.

She wants someone firm, and you’re giving her all that she needs. You’re kissing her mouth, dribbling your spit onto her tongue and she’s eating it up like a fucking baby bird—What is she doing?

What is Leon doing more importantly? He’s using her pussy as a fucking pillow.

“Baby, are you kidding me? Again?” You whine as you roll him over. “Leon, hello? Leon?” He’s passed out cold, and his fists curl tightly, like a baby. “You always do this to me, Leon, it’s so embarrassing, get up!”

With your spit coating her lips, and the faint tingle of aftershocks, the ghost of Leon’s lips on her clit, Ashley thinks she has a lot of things to figure out. Like, is she a lesbian? And is Leon really like that in bed? Does he even know how to, like, do things without your help? Would she have to guide him?

Ashley’s, like, so not experienced enough to guide him, and she doesn’t even know how lube works. Like, do you put it on the pussy or the dick? And is she meant to put the condom on Leon, or is he meant to do it for her?

All she knows is that you’ll be there to help her along the way, but she’s totally not a lesbian and she totally still likes Leon. Like. Seriously. Cross her heart and hope to die.

(Are all guys like that in bed? Or is it because he’s drunk? Is this legal? Is legal sex better? Would legal sex with Leon make him a little better at it?)

[mishkinis]

so uhm. new season of kuroshitsuji announced

[7roaches]

sorry that took like an hour i stopped to eat dinner heres my idea

[paint-it-dead]

-"Start Here" by Caitlyn Siehl

[housecow]

Any reactions from friends or family? Do you notice yourself being treated differently or judged as you get bigger?

ooooh i love talking about this.. i haven’t gotten a single reaction from family or friends!! and i’m 20lbs past my previous heaviest, so… haha i’m honestly just very lucky, they’ve never commented much on my body or anything?? as a teen i think it was painfully obvious how uncomfortable i as with my boobs, so that may be part of why :))

the only comment i got was years ago when my gma just said “300 comes fast” and i could tell she regretted saying anything… ANYWAYS hope she’s right hehe :3

as for being treated differently… certain things are different?? it largely depends on how i present myself, lol. with a cute outfit/hair/makeup or whatever i get treated very well still, but like. a t-shirt and baggy jeans and a chubby round face w minimal makeup bc im on my period?? people sometimes don’t make eye contact lmfao

on the other hand, sometimes there are ppl who treat me VERY well when i’m looking especially chubby/fat and i always kinda wonder…

[robinfollies]

some design comcepts for older lily + lewis!!! my latest and greatest headcanon for them is that in the future they get gems and can do magic of their own :33 i just think it’d be neat,,, something to do with their love of magic!!!! 🥺

[wonderinc-sonic]

Thank-you doodles for Donations

-Edit! Updating the pictures again for some different styles and characters! Also to feature some of my favourite stupid doodles-

If you happen to be making a donation to any charitable cause helping get food, water and medical aid into Palestine right now - send me a screenshot of a receipt with a request (separate messages if you want for privacy) and I can offer you... a crummy doodle to say thanks for donating?

Details under cut 🤷

I'll do my earnest best to do whatever you asked for, excluding anything nsfw or anything ship-ish where any party is, like, a kid, but including any O.C.s providing you send me a link to a reference, description or a picrew.

I'm a beginner and I have a full time job, so I'm not making promises for the quality - you can see from the collage above what we're working with here! However, I have no pride and there is no prompt too silly for me to attempt.

No minimum and no scaling complexity for increased donation - I'm doing this to celebrate your generosity, it's not a commission!

Can be anonymous, or private-message respond, I really don't mind.

Any verifiable charity donation is fine - I encourage you to donate through the channels that maximise the effect of your money. For example, some places of work have donation-match schemes for selected charities, and depending on your country of origin you may be able to deduct tax on your donations to particular organisations, which might help you donate. We're all working with what we've got in a cost of living crisis - definitely worth seeing if you can make your donations go a bit further with government topups!

Everything feels really quite hopeless right now, I'm doing this selfishly because I want to see donations happening and to gas them up a bit.

Oh! And if you have a pet, my birthday is April 29th. I'd love to see them just being themselves. That's what I'm asking for on the day from everyone else.

[oceanwithouthermoon]

i think its weird that i have to make this disclaimer but the internet is crazy so wtvr,, anyway,,

if i say i dont like something, that doesnt mean "that thing is bad and nobody should post it.."

i swear literally every time i even mention that i dislike something, people will go "wow does that mean u fucking hate me cuz i post that thing? ur a fucking stupid bitch and all ur opinions r wrong" LIKE ?? er.. no. just because i say i dont like certain characterizations of certain characters (the saiki k fandom is CRAZY about this cuz i can state an opinion on literally any character and a group of people will still go 'well only we're allowed to post our opinions about them because we're always right!1!1!'), or certain ship tropes (mentioned my hatred of toxic yaoi maybe once or twice on here months ago and people STILL get mad at me as if i said toxic yaoi lovers r evil or something), or certain ships, or WHATEVER, does not mean that i HATE the people who are posting them or that i think they shouldnt post them at all, NO, im just posting about my personal tastes on my personal blog and it would be extremely weird and hypocritical if i decided that i was the ONLY person that was allowed to do that,,

i think the only reason people assume that is because there are a lot of other people on here who ARE like that, and a lot of people toe the line between posting that they dont like something and posting that they think everyone who likes that thing is stupid, annoying, and wrong,, so i guess all i can say is, sorry for whatever made you make these assumptions but they arent true about me so plz leave me alone ʘ‿ʘ ur doing the same thing to me that ur accusing me of but i didnt do it in the first place so ur just actively being a dick for no reason

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

questioning sexuality is so exhausting

[polarpanda73]

uty fandom i got a question that's been bothering me

how the hell does starlo's brother like. look down without impaling himself

[crabbunch]

ethubs to me is like. tfw you kill and die for someone so many times that you can't even grow tired of it. it's mundane, sure, but in the way that loving someone is mundane. blood becomes like waking up to them every morning- an expected but beautiful nonetheless way of things being. it doesnt matter if they're killing each other or their enemies or pretending to do one and actually doing the other to them it is an act of devotion. and not the dramatic kind. tfw you die and kill for someone so often that instead of loosing meaning it gains sentiment. this is not a tragedy anymore!!! they are ripping it apart with their hands and laughing!!! is there anymore power to an actor than that? than turning the story to a comedy? they're sooo sitcom core. of course they love violence- there's no reason to be afraid of dying when it's not the end. they'll have another go at it, and another and another and another and another. the grief is real, sure, as real as the bloodlust- it's just not the thing that lasts

[crunchchute]

im torn between headcanoning william being bi or just outright gay but hiding it and going as far as to have a wife and kids.. (i like that more but i also like to think he did love his wife at some point) i also like him nonbinary in the way it applies today but back then he wouldnt know. i just love the whole nonbinary/feminine springbonnie idea (like a girl counterpart to fredbear, or basically a similar situation with the rabbit from Well, Just You Wait, where some people believed the bunny is a girl, even if theres many hints its a guy, but he ends up looking very nonbinary/gnc) and that by wearing the suit he can like explore himself more. and the whole deal with him being so obsessed with the suit and becoming one with it and later dare i say loving it? at least using it to his advantage and claiming a new persona as springtrap its to me like.. its very gender to me okay (in the way that when i was a teen figuring out im trans but couldnt show it, fursuiting and cosplaying as male characters saved me. let me explore this stuff in small bits)

im not a good worldbuilder so im having trouble deciding how similar is the fnaf universe to ours. if their tech and robotics are so much more advanced so early on, what are their views on lgbt people. or is it just, they have good robots, but are still homophobic. i wonder. it doesnt correlate but you know. world kinda changes when tech changes

[ourdreamsareneon]

it's crazy the level of discourse there is about antis/pros and how teenagers just devolve into purity culture so quick. I'm sure I used to be like that, but somewhere between dating gang members and reading copious amounts of philosophy the world became a lot more gray to me when I entered my twenties and I've realised three things that I think are important for teenagers to know:

To quote my favourite childhood book series: "People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict." Sure, going to car meets, selling drugs, drunk driving, stealing cars, playing chicken with cops are all examples of bad things that you shouldn't do but am I going to sit in my lovers bed and tell him that this life he was born into that saw all his friends die in drive bys and that saw his own dad pull a gun on him when he was a kid makes him a shitty person? Even though I can see all of the good in him, and can tell he doesn't want to do this, I should ignore it and focus on the negatitives? We have all done bad things, we all do bad things, and we all will do bad things. It doesn't make you a bad person.

Purity culture hurts everyone. There's a great book about this called the History of Sexuality that delves into how purity culture and the censorship of sex is at its essence the capitalist authority controlling the means of reproduction. At large scale 'pray the gay away' and 'contraception is a sin' make it so that men and women couple up more (instead of same sex coupling) and have unprotected sex. On a smaller scale 'AO3 is evil because it has pedos' and 'watersports is the grossest thing ever' do the job of the capitalist authority on a more digestible level. Us vs Them no longer is 'alt right vs communism' they use your words to make it 'pure good hobest people vs pedos who like piss play.' you are making bullets for your enemy and handing them your own damn gun. I promised I wouldn't make this whole post this one point tee hee sorry if you want me to elaborate just ask lol

Fetish ≠ real world experience. I'll build my own pyre as an example: I love me some good CNC (consensual non-consent) in my fanfics but in real life sex I have a praise kink so bad I have cried during sex multiple times. I am into tooth rotting sweet stuff and the kindest people in the world in real life. The media you consume 1000% has an effect on you, I'm not arguing that. I am however arguing that if you have media literacy and know what media is and is not harmful to you, it shouldn't effect your real life drastically unless you have other shit going on. I know this is rich coming from the "I have dated people in gangs" guy because that may show what kinda guy I'm into but prommy that's not a sexual attraction thing, it's 100% a lifestyle thing that again I will elaborate on if you want. Point being, porn ≠ reality and what gets that blood flowing isn't necessarily a reflection of how good or bad you are (ofc there are kinds of porn that are bad but that's beside the point and a very complicated thing for me to type while I'm this sleepy)

thank you for coming to my ted talk. pls I am begging on my knees for people to stop having black and white world views but i also know that's just a product of being a teen so if you are a teen pls! go out there and! consume media from different cultures and people with different lives to you! the world is at its best when it is wide!!! and full of love <3

[megumi-fm]

.

[jamiethebeeart]

Sketches

[elftwink]

been learning to play ironsworn (gritty fantasy ttrpg which you can play with a gm but is mostly suited for solo or small group co-op gmless play) after having the rulebook pdf for several years (stars finally aligned to remove invisible thing blocking me from reading it idk) because i'm on another solo ttrpg kick & i don't know what took me so long to get around to this game because it genuinely is exactly what i was looking for. years ago when i was playing through solo 5e modules i should have just been playing ironsworn (believe it or not, 5e isn't very suited to solo play and is extremely clunky when you try lol).

also though i have dabbled in some other solo ttrpgs, a considerable amount of them are journaling games which is fun but imo considerably more work (usually by the time i'm a quarter of the way through the journal entry, i know how to entire scene played out and i want to move on to the next gameplay thing, so i get frustrated and bored quickly. it feels like when you solve a level in a video game but don't have the coordination to pull off the necessary move so you have to spend 20 extra minutes doing something you already figured out), so i really appreciate like not needing to write something for the game to progress (ive been taking notes for my own record since im playing solo and thus am not really out loud roleplaying the way you do in a group, but i definitely could do that instead and not take notes and the game would still function perfectly)

& ive been playing by myself but also in the past ive played a lot of ttrpgs in very small groups which has been other games but is mostly dnd and like. we also should have been playing ironsworn so that having a gm was not necessary. have definitely played games where we had to adapt the rules soooo much to do something that is just base game included in ironsworn. plus it's rules-light enough to do pretty complex moves that pose difficulties in bulkier games (ever introduced someone to dnd and they tell you they want to do a sick backflip and catch something and then attack and you have to tell them that will require several different consecutive rolls and some creative liberties with how the rules are 'supposed' to let you move? you can just Do That in ironsworn. use the strike move and describe it. done!)

the one thing is that although it's rules-light enough to theoretically play any setting or genre (some with more difficulty than others), ive found so far that like... the grittiness and sense of threat is very built into the mechanics so that would be sort of difficult to work around or change (but i think it's great from a game design perspective). what i mean is like, okay: you start with 5 max hp. there isn't really a way to raise this max hp, you just slowly gain abilities (assets) that make you less likely to have to lose the hp in the first place, or that make it easier to recover. when you encounter foes, you rank them on a scale of 1 -5, and enemies on the lowest side of this scale do one harm to you, while enemies on the highest side do five harm to you. so even though encountering an epic enemy won't always be deadly due to the assets you have, they are ALWAYS capable of taking you down to 0 hp with one good hit. so the feeling of threat is much more present compared to games where your character starts to be able to just tank and push through a failure or huge threat.

admittedly also i'm playing solo, im still learning how to balance combat, and also i built a character who has NO combat talents and iron (the close quarters fighting stat) is one of my lowest stats so i personally am under much more threat than if you built a character who knew how to fight or who could do deadly harm. but also the other thing about combat is it's extremely difficult to maintain control of the fight; you have to score a strong hit to do it on basically all moves, and there's a really limited pool of moves available when you don't have the initiative, and obviously none of them really favour you. i don't know that this makes combat genuinely more difficult, but it does make you feel like the fight is always about to spiral out of your control. every second you let it drag without decisive action feels like it brings you closer to dying. like i said, this is a feature of the game design and not a problem in any way. just thinking about it because when i was initially learning i was going to try to supplant it into a homebrew fantasy world of my own but the tone just wouldn't be right. and that it is somewhat difficult to replicate the kind of worlds that i typically play or run for dnd, which tend to lean somewhat sillier and definitely much higher fantasy

but i like to try new things and tbh especially in dnd i find that i very rarely feel that sense of threat and when i do feel it, it has nothing at all to do with the actual mechanics and reality of the combat and everything to do with how well the dm sells it to me and makes it sound and feel scary and dangerous. which is a testament to what a good gm can do for you but i do appreciate the threat feeling more built-in and also being actually real.