#<- as i was typing that we were learning about the chance of survival if you are hit by a car at different speeds! bc that’s relevant 😍😍😍😍😍😍

[mangalho]

Ex-warbot OC

They don’t have names yet.

The two bots with the scary faces were specifically made for war, and now that it’s over, they still maintained their original ‘warface’ even though it has stigma associated to it. Many robots changed their faceplates post-war, as it made it easier to find jobs and not get into unnecessary conflict.

The sleeker looking guy used to be in their company, though he wasn’t made in the same factory as them; he isn’t their ’batch-mate’.

After the war he completely modified his frame, and now has an idol career. He desperately wats to erase his past, as people (and robots alike) will respond better to a ‘new’ and untainted idol.

The two warface bots are “brother and sister” and they do odd jobs here and there to make ends meet and to be able to afford things they want. Rich people hire them as bouncers a lot since they are a symbol of terrible times. Sometimes they earn 15k in one night for just one gig it’s crazy. They both really love clothes since it distances them from their body’s original purpose while simultaneously not erasing their past. Also they look cute and cool!

The idol bot once meets the warfaces by chance in the street and pretends he doesn’t know them AGAHAKALAK I think he’s insane… completely erasing your past and the person you were is psychopathic to me idk. Anyway

There arent a lot of warfaces going around anymore. since they either died during the war or changed their frames. Pre-war bots were re-fitted during the conflicts and just had to go back to their former unweaponized frames after it was all over so they’re fine.  All of these robots can download information and i want that type of learning to mostly disappear if its deleted, but if they learn things like we do or experience real events, those memories and skills can’t really truly be erased; if they do try erasing them, they will still remember them, just not with HD video clarity, which brings them immense suffering sometimes. “How to people live like this?!” Well buddy it sucks idk we all cope

Newly minted robots are wack because they don’t exactly have a ‘soul’ yet they just do things they’re supposed to do, but after some time, all of them actually develop real awareness and shit… my war bots had like a 78% chance of dying everyday when they were activated, but they survived and attained sentience at like one year post birth and they wised up rly fast after that. They remember their first year, but they describe it as a ‘weird haze’

These robots feel pain so they wont like dive into a hole or damage themselves too much. Self preservation means longer-lived machines which means less repair costs and less human lives on the line as well.. slay !!!

While the conflicts went on, most robots achieved sentience and decided to stop fighting so there was like a robots rights movement and eventually the war stopped altogether and now the robots have a salary and a normal life mostly. They arent organics, so they need other things. They are solar powered and need oil sometimes and also they need new nanomachines once in a while like we need vaccines. Get your boosters… its not just tetanus and coronavirus anymore now they gotta think about like..the trojan horse 9000

I want them to have this aversion to organic things dying bc they are universally gross. Like they dont like seeing living-machines die either but a rat being squished by a car is also gross!

There are probably some tensions between humans and robots but like i kinda get it bc i wouldnt mess with a guy who has like lead pipes for arms. also most robots ARE normal but some are insane idk 🙆‍♀️🤷‍♀️ just  like people are.

 mine are normal tho they’re just vibing 💖🗣🤙

[effervescentdragon]

i dont know how to deal with this pain in my chest that's a constant. i dont't know how to take this much hurt.

i was a child of war, i type out and then i say to myself no, i am a child of war. its a funny story i tell people, how when i was to be born they bombarded our city the whole night. the gas that my dad spared so they could take my mother to the hospital was stolen, siphoned from the car, so what happened was that my mother's water broke in the back of a military vehicle that my dad's friends-colleagues-soldiers drove us all in to the hospital. i was born almost 12 hours later during a night when they bombarded my hometown from every mountain around it. it doesnt really matter; they bombarded us all the time.

my mother is a doctor. she worked in the hospital the whole time during the war and she worked relentlessly. she tells the stories of that time with a detachment that used to be curious to me when i was younger and is now just horrifying. "mom," i said to her years ago, "im learning about porphyrias." - "oh," she says, eyes lighting up, "the first time i encountered a case of porphyria was during the war, when we were shut in the hospital for 5 days because they kept bombarding us and we couldnt go home. one of the doctors not on call when we got stuck came with his daughter, drove to the hospital because his daughter was unconscious and we determined she had porphyria. it was really interesting to see." she doesn't see my horrified gaze. she doesn't know what she sounds like. she still doesn't, to this day. i stopped begging her to go to therapy one day when she looked at me, eyes far away, and said "if i go, where do i start?"

my friend was 5 when the war started. she asked me on saturday "are you always afraid of everything?". i shake my head. she said she wakes up sometimes gripped with fear and has to list out all the things in her life that are alright and asks her husband to hug her and still it doesnt help. she thought she was the only one to feel that way and then she tells me a new phrase she learned. generational trauma. i nod and remember her telling me how a grenade hit their building when she was 8, in the year i was born, and how she still has the burn scar on her leg from the shell.

my high school teacher told me a story once. it was war and she was 15, and it was a friday and they stopped bombarding for three days. the youth gathered at the main square on the date that used to be a celebration of youth. her friend had strict parents, "but whose parents arent strict in a war," she says with a laugh, and they all decided to walk her home before her curfew. a bomb hit the square, civillian target, and killed over 70 people. the youngest was 2. he died because a shrapnel pierced his heart as his mother was clutching him. she didn't notice until it was too late. i know her and her husband. i see them around the town sometimes. my mother worked in the hospital that day, when they brought in the wounded. my father brought them in. "thats what i always remember when my kids say im too strict," my teacher says and laughs. i laugh along. what else am i supposed to do.

the year my sister was born another genocide happened. the world looked away then too, like it does now. when the war in ukraine started my gynecologist tells me about it; about a woman who came in and said "i have 5 children." my gynecologist said "what do you mean five," lookimg at the four surrounding her. the women said "i had to leave my wounded son behind. it was the best chance these other four had to survive, if im with them". she has a placid smile on her face as i look at her in horror. "i learned not to ask stupid questions then," she says, and laughs, and i laugh along because what the fuck am i supposed to do.

i dont know how to take this pain of palestine right now and still i look. i look at the victims, thousands of innocent children and people murdered by israel's carpet bombing. i look at the ethnic cleansing happening in front of my eyes, all our eyes. i look at the world which refuses to call it what it is - an ongoing genocide of a whole population. i dont have the privilege of looking away. i opened my eyes into a war when i took my first breath, and i cannot in good conscience look away. war is in my blood; i am a child of war.

there is no point to this except to say somewhere what hurts me the most right now.

from the river to the sea, palestine will be free. it has to be. anything else is unnaceptable.

[demxters]

—LOVING YOU IS THE ANTIDOTE

frat!jake seresin x f!reader

dagger squad college!au

summary: you didn’t like jake seresin. you tolerated him. if you hadn’t befriended bradley bradshaw, you wouldn’t have given him the time of day. he was everything you weren’t. delta chi’s golden boy, popular, desirable, and a charmer. you did not like jake seresin. so why did it hurt when he didn’t want you?

wc: a monstrous 8.6k

warning(s): 18+, fem!reader, no y/n (reader goes by nickname ace), mentions of sex/hookups, alcohol and drinking, weed (briefly mentioned), self deprecating thoughts, jake is lowkey an asshole, and language

𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐃𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊, 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒, 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐑𝐄𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐒 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐃 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃!

Whoever said group projects got easier in college don’t know what they’re talking about. If anything, group projects were the bane of your existence—the reason why you considered dropping out every semester. Being in your third year, you were just barely surviving the group project epidemic. This semester, however, had you at your wits end. All because of a stupid assigned group project.

You had an affinity for being a perfectionist. You were all work and no play. While many of your peers thought it was infuriating, you saw it as your best feature. You got things done. You couldn’t say the same for everyone else. A stick in the mud, a hardass, whatever they chose to call you didn’t matter at the end of the day.

“I’m telling you Nat, they’re imbeciles. The entire time we were exchanging contact information, I thought my head was going to explode from the idiocy spewing from their mouths.” Sitting in the busy dining hall, you rant to your best friend Natasha Trace of the absolute horrors of group mates you’ve been given for this assignment.

You met Natasha at a student mixer in your first year of university. The two of you hit it off immediately from bonding over your tastes for cheesy romance novels and an overly concerning obsession for Dr. Pepper and Smarties. Since then, you two became thick as thieves and haven’t looked back since. 

“Maybe you’re being a little too quick to judge,” Nat counters, playing on the remaining peas on her plate with her fork. “You haven’t even given ‘em a chance yet.” That was Natasha for you, ever the voice of reason for your dislike of any person who wasn’t the three you were friends with. 

You roll your eyes and cross your arms across your chest with a pout. “If you met them, I bet you would be saying the exact same thing. Besides, they’re frat guys. Isn’t that reason to hate them enough?” 

“Why didn’t you lead with that? What’re their names? We can get Mickey to stalk them on Instagram or something.” Her eyes light up at the idea. She doesn’t even give you the chance to answer as she pulls out her phone, no doubt to text Mickey if he could do her a favor. 

Mickey Garcia was another one of those close friends of yours. You met him at a Halloween Party where he showed up dressed as Poe Dameron from the later Star Wars movies. Your affinity for Star Wars and a love for Oscar Isaac drew you to him, eventually earning him the affectionate nickname of Fanboy. You introduced him to Natasha and the rest was history. 

You swat at her hand, silently telling her to drop her phone. “No. We are not stalking them on Instagram.” 

The sound of her text tone going off makes you groan. “Too late. Mick already said he’d do it. So, what are their names?” 

You shovel another spoonful of mashed potatoes into your mouth before begrudgingly responding. “Bradley and Jake.” Their names taste like acid in your mouth. So what if you were being a little too quick to judge? You’ve done enough group projects to know this would end up being yet another you would be doing all by yourself. 

Natasha’s quiet as she types up their names and sends them back to Mickey. Barely five minutes passes when she receives a response back. “Is this them?” She shows you her screen and at this point, you’ve learned not to question how Mickey could have possibly found them in the sea of Jake and Bradleys that go to your university–let alone pick out the right ones. You nod and she laughs, scrolling through her phone before moving to the seat next to you. “What did I tell you? He found their Instagram, Twitter, and Tinder profiles! God bless, Mickey Garcia.” 

You push your head against hers, curiosity killing all resolve you had of not caring. The two of you go through their Instagrams and tagged posts like you were reading the morning paper. There wasn’t anything too surprising about them. It was everything you would expect from a twenty something year old guy in a college fraternity. You hated to admit, however, that they were attractive. You were probably too irritated in class to pay attention to how good looking they are. But that doesn’t dismiss the fact that you were still dreading to work with the two. 

“See?” You tell Natasha, motioning to the photo she has pulled up of Bradley on one of his fishing trips. “They are grade-A assholes. Everything about them screams douchebag.” 

“You gotta admit, they’re hot,” she breathes and you smack her on the shoulder. 

“Natasha Monica Trace!” 

Nat shoves you back before shrugging. “What? Don’t you agree?” 

“Of course I do, but may I remind you that looks do not equal brains.” You snatch the phone from her grasp and exit out of Instagram. 

Nat places a gentle hand on the crook of your elbow, noticing the tension in your body. “Just give them a chance, babe. What’s the worst that could happen?” 

_______

You didn’t think it was possible to be friends, let alone acquaintances with Delta Chi’s favorite heartbreakers. Three months and two parties later, you found yourself tolerating your fellow project partners. Then the impossible happened. Bradley Bradshaw and Jake Seresin proved your first impression of them wrong. Well, Bradley did. Jake was the preppy douchebag you suspected him to be. He sat back while Bradley and you pulled his weight. You hated him and his dimpled, Hollywood smile. You hated those lips that knew exactly what to say to get anyone in a three foot radius on their knees. Not to mention those annoyingly green eyes of his. 

Once the project was complete you thought you’d never have to interact with them ever again. Oh, how wrong you were. If only you hadn’t offered up your apartment to complete the assignment. Then they wouldn’t have met Nat, Mickey, and Bob. They wouldn’t have invited them to their stupid frat party. You wouldn’t have been forced to see them outside of scheduled study time and your friends wouldn’t have fallen perfectly in line with theirs. 

Though you will admit, they weren’t all bad. Surprisingly, you actually appreciated most of their company. Underneath Bradley’s frat boy personality, was a secretly brainy political science major and one of the sweetest people you’ve ever met. His other friends, both from Delta Chi, also became fast additions to your little group. Javy Machado and Reuben Fitch were charmers and they knew it. But they were kind and didn’t have an obnoxiously large ego that most frat boys had. 

You loved them all, but you couldn’t stand Jake Seresin. No matter how badly he tried to get on your good side, you wouldn’t have it. You weren’t going to give him the satisfaction of being another person to fall victim to his charm. 

“Well Ace, you’ve somehow managed to ruin the fun. Again,” Jake deadpans from where he sits across from you at the coffee table. He bet that you couldn’t beat him at a round of chess. You took that challenge and beat him in three rounds. 

A smug smile overcomes your features as you get up from your criss-crossed position and do a little happy dance at Jake’s obvious disappointment. “Snooze, you lose, Hangman.” 

He groans at the appointed nickname you gave him two weeks into knowing him. Jake had been bragging about his latest sexual escapades and Bradley said something along the lines of him leaving his catch of the day hanging, disappearing before morning. The nickname stuck and became universally used within your friend group. 

You miss the slight upward tug of his lips when you turn around and head to the kitchen to grab another bottle of water. 

Bob, who had been observing each match and quietly serving as referee, broke Jake out of his reverie. “You went easy on her.” 

Jake avoids Bob’s inquisitive stare and focuses on the faded chessboard. “No I didn’t.” 

“Yes you did,” he quips, matter of factly. “I’ve seen you play against Bradley. You’re better than that.” 

“Well, maybe I didn’t want her to feel bad for losing,” He shrugs, nonchalantly. 

“Or maybe you just like seeing her win.” 

Jake chucks the pillow he was sitting on at Bob, quickly shutting him up with a squeak. You make your way back to the table, eyeing the two boys at their strange behavior. “You up for one more round, Seresin?” 

He checks his watch. “Can’t. Have a thing with Sarah tonight.” 

The information makes your heart drop just a little bit in your chest, but you regain your composure. You clear your throat and harden your features. “Oh. Have fun at your…thing.” He didn’t have to tell you it was a hookup for you to know it was a hookup. He had “things” every week, which is why you didn’t understand why this time hurt you just a little more. 

The room is silent after Jake leaves with you washing the dishes while Bob sits and reads on the couch. You anxiously looked to the clock that was incessantly ticking away on the wall, desperate for Natasha to get home. You loved Bob, but right now you needed to have some girl talk. 

You exasperatedly sigh, harshly wiping your palms on the dish rag on your shoulder. 

Bob hums, silently questioning what the matter was. 

“Did Nat say when she was coming home?” You throw the rag on the counter and plop yourself down beside him. “I tried texting her but she hasn’t responded.” 

Bob thinks for a minute, then responds, “Nope.” 

“Well how long is it gonna take her to run this damn errand?” 

One thing about Bob: he was a shit liar. The tips of his ears immediately got red and his blue eyes never had the guts to meet those he was lying to. 

“Bob…” You scoot closer to him, noticing the tell tale signs of his dishonesty. 

“What?” His voice cracks and so does his last bit of dignity. 

“When’s Natasha coming home?” 

One look into your narrowed eyes is all it takes to have Bob breaking his resolve. “Alright, fine. She said she was going to be out past dinner.” 

“Why?” 

The frown on your face almost breaks his heart. “She–well…” He hated lying to you, especially when you looked at him like that. Your little pout and wide eyes had him cursing silently. “She went on a date.” 

“Oh.” Your brows screw up in confusion. “Then why didn’t she just tell me?” 

Bob cringes. “Don’t tell her I told you, otherwise she will kill me.” 

You hold your pinky out to him with a small smile. He links his with yours and the two of you press a soft kiss to your fisted hands before pulling away. 

“Alright, fine. She didn’t tell you because she’s going on a date with Javy,” he rushes out. 

You blink, processing the information. You and Nat told each other everything. Why did she feel the need to hide this from you? You voice your thoughts out loud and Bob shakes his head. 

“She thought you were gonna blow up at her for going out with him. You know, because he’s Jake’s best friend and all.” Bob watches you cautiously. Your temper was unpredictable sometimes. One second you would be fine and the next you would be blowing your top off. He wasn’t sure which side of you he was going to get this time. 

A sniffle leaves you and you wipe at your nose with the back of your hand. “Why would I get mad at her for that?” 

“Because you haven’t had the kindest of opinions towards women who date frat guys, especially Delta Chi ones.” 

You vaguely recall that conversation. You had called those women “airheads who are addicted to sex.” But you didn’t mean it. You were drunk and bitter about the fact that you were in your third year of college and still single. Had you known Nat wanted to go out with Javy, you would’ve kept your big mouth shut. “But I like Javy,” is all you can say. 

Bob nods. “Yeah, but you hate Jake.” 

Your gaze snaps back to him. “So?” 

“So, she thought going out with him was like… I don’t know. Fraternizing with the enemy?” 

“But Javy’s my friend. I don’t care about how close he is to Hangman. He isn’t like him,” you huff. Pulling your knees to your chest, you take a deep breath. “If he makes her happy then…she should go out with him. I just wish she told me.” 

Bob wraps his arm around you, tugging you so your head could rest on his shoulder. He knew there was more to this than you let on. But he let it slide, choosing to comfort you in your conflicted feelings. “When Nat gets home, you should tell her that.” “I will,” you murmur into the fabric of his sweatshirt. 

He presses a soft kiss to the crown of your head. “Good.” 

It’s at that moment that the apartment door swings open, revealing Mickey with Jake in tow. Your head snaps up and you see Jake standing there with his mouth agape. 

Mickey nods at you and Bob in quick greeting before pointing a thumb at the man behind him. “Idiot forgot his jacket again. It’s a good thing he caught me in the parking lot.” 

You laugh awkwardly, stiffening in Bob’s hold. 

You feel his arm drop from around your shoulder as he clears his throat, looking away from Jake. 

“Sorry,” Jake’s voice is rough and there’s a look in his eyes that you can’t quite place. “Didn’t mean to interrupt.” 

Bob waves him off. “It’s all good. You weren’t interrupting anything. Right, Ace?” 

You can only nod dumbly, still not taking your eyes off of Jake’s vibrant green. 

Jake clicks his tongue to the roof of his mouth. “Alright. Well, thanks again for letting me in, Mick. I’ll um, catch you guys later I guess.” He steals one last look of you snugly wrapped up in Bob before rushing out the door with a small shake of his head. 

Jake doesn’t speak to you for a week after that.

_______

The tune of Slow Ride hits your ears and you groan into your cup. Bradley looks at you in amusement from where you sit beside him on the stairs. The boys had decided to unwind from yet another stressful week with yet another Delta Chi party. You were pretty adamant on sitting this one out, mainly because you didn’t want to see Jake or his new conquest of the week. Things have been tense to say the least. The fact that you and Jake didn’t get along wasn’t new to the group, however as the days passed, your nonstop bickering eventually turned to tolerance for one another. Enough to almost say the two of you were even becoming friends. 

Jake still annoyed you to your core but his company somehow managed to grow on you. Which is why his sudden radio silence upset you. It got to the point that you couldn’t even look at him without seeing red. 

“This is stupid,” you grumble, taking another swig of the cheap beer in your cup. You hated these parties. Normally, your friends wouldn’t mind you opting out to stay home instead. However Nat had noticed how your sour mood progressed throughout the week and concluded that you needed to get out to places that weren’t the lecture halls. She begged you to come with her to the party Delta Chi was throwing this weekend. For me? she pleaded, knowing just how much you hated saying no to her. Now that you were here, you longed to be back in the confines of your apartment, snuggled under your covers with a cup of tea and Emily Henry to keep you company. 

Instead, you found yourself crammed in a two story frat house that was filled to the brim with sweaty and intoxicated bodies. The music was too loud and the smell of alcohol and weed was sure to be stuck on your clothes by the night’s end. The only thing keeping you sane was Bradley’s company and you knew that as the night progressed, even he would soon disappear. 

“You want me to take you home?” Bradley asks, leaning down to your ear so you can hear him. 

You shake your head, pushing at his shoulder. “It’s fine. Besides, I have a feeling you’re gonna get lucky tonight, Bachelor.” You nod towards the blonde in the corner of the room whose eyes haven’t left Bradley since the two of you migrated to the staircase. 

He was practically drooling under the dimmed lights as he followed your motions. Bradley sends the girl a smirk before looking at you wordlessly. 

“Go,” you urge him with a laugh. 

He lets out a breath, downing the rest of his drink and giving your knee a squeeze. “Thanks. I owe you!” 

You playfully roll your eyes. “Yeah, whatever. Be safe!” 

Bradley winks at you over his shoulder. “Always am!” 

The small smile on your lips fades as you watch Bradley go and flirt with the pretty blonde. You were never the center of attention, never the type that anyone gave their time of day to. You were average. Plain boring. The constant reminder of that was there when you hung out with the boys. You loved them, but hearing the way they talked about other girls did take a stab at your self esteem. You used to make fun of them with Natasha but then she started dating Javy, and became one of those girls. And you don’t blame them, your best friend was gorgeous. Anyone with eyes could see that. You convinced yourself that you liked the lack of attention and isolation. But every now and then, you wished someone saw you and thought, Wow. Now that’s someone I want to be with. 

You push yourself off the carpeted stairs, deciding to find Reuben or even Nat and Javy. The cup in your hand is empty anyways. Might as well get a refill while you’re at it. You can barely move through the sea of people that are packed into such a small space. People were grinding against each other left and right, making you want to hurl. You push your way through the kitchen, finally making it to the open patio where beer pong tournaments and sloppy make outs occurred. The cold, night air feels nice against your hot and sweaty skin. You close your eyes, leaning up against the wall and drown out the music and laughter around you. Peace. You just needed a moment of peace. 

You’re too caught up in your own little bubble to notice the presence that saunters up beside you. 

“What’s a pretty thing like you doing out here all alone?” 

The voice startles you from your moment and your eyes snap open. A hand reaches up to your racing heart and you turn to meet the source of your sudden adrenaline rush. The man beside you is familiar, you’ve seen him once or twice on campus and at other Fraternity events the boys had invited you to. Not to mention, incredibly good looking as well. 

He holds a hand up, almost like he was trying to calm a rattled horse and sheepishly smiles. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” 

You swallow, sharply exhaling and squeezing your plastic up in your hand to ground yourself. “It’s alright.” You avoid his gaze and nervously pick at the chapped skin of your lower lip. 

“Billy Avalone,” he introduces himself with a confident grin. “I think I’ve seen you ‘round with Seresin and Bradshaw.” 

You finally look up to meet his gaze and offer him a dry smile. You offer him an introduction of your own. “Nice to meet you.” 

Billy ever so smoothly scoops up your free hand in his and places a soft kiss to the upside of your hand. Your cheeks heat up at his delicate touch and your knees almost buckle at the glimmer in his eyes. “Trust me, the pleasure is all mine.” 

His manners make you chortle and you snort, pulling away from him to hide behind your smirk behind your palm. 

Rather than drawing away from you, he finds himself intrigued and raises a brow at your amusement. “What?” 

“Nothing, nothing,” you say in between laughter. You grasp your cup with both hands before looking at him with a much more genuine smile on your face. “It’s just… You are not what I expected from a Delta Chi.” 

He nods knowingly, remembering your association with Jake and Bradley. “What can I say? I’m full of surprises.” 

There was that ego you were looking for. But it doesn’t deter you like it normally would, in fact you find yourself leaning into him. “Oh yeah? Like what?” You shut your mouth immediately after that, quite surprised by your sudden burst of confidence. 

Billy leans into you just as much, letting his hand brush against your forearm. It sends a shiver down your spine and goosebumps arise on your bare skin. “Nice try, but that’s to be revealed only if you agree to go on a date with me.” 

There was no malice in his tone, no laughing idiots around to signify that anything about this was a joke. The look in Billy’s eyes was full of genuine hope and for the first time that night, you find yourself forgetting all about Jake Seresin and immerse yourself in the idea of Billy Avalone. He was charming and attractive. Lean, but broad enough for you to tell that underneath the jacket he wore was all muscle. You found it hard to believe that Billy had any interest in you and yet, here he was, asking you out on a date. Any other day, you would’ve taken a hard pass.You would’ve told him to move along and put his energy into another person who would consider saying yes. But then you think of Nat and Javy and just how utterly lonely you feel, deciding that Billy was worth the chance and the risk. 

You open your mouth to respond, but stiffen at the feeling of warmth that encapsulates your back. You don’t need to turn to know exactly who it is. The familiar scent of laundry detergent and cinnamon washes over you and you resist the urge to fall into him. 

“Billy,” Jake greets, his voice dropping an octave as he leans in closer to you. His chest just barely brushes against your back sending a new wave of warmth to your neck and cheeks. 

“Hey, Jake.” Billy’s gaze flicks to Jake’s before he focuses his attention back on you, still eagerly waiting for your response. 

Your breath hitches in your throat at the feeling of Jake’s hand on your lower back and you turn to look at him with furrowed brows. His usually well kept hair was stuffed under his backwards baseball cap and despite the chill of the night air he was in nothing but a t-shirt and jeans. 

The air between the three of you is heavy as Billy tries to dismiss Jake’s presence. “So, what do you say about that date?” He smiles at you sweetly, rocking back and forth on his heels. 

Before you can utter a response Jake steps in front of you and blocks you completely from Billy’s view. “Let’s get out of here, Ace.” 

You can’t believe what you’re hearing. You scoff, balling your hand up in a fist to resist the urge to slap the back of Jake’s perfect head. “Excuse me? Seresin, will you knock it off?” 

He ignores you, taking a step closer to Billy. Jake straightens his spine. “She’s off limits. Got it, Avalone?” 

“Well, shit, Jake. If that’s your girl, why didn’t you just say so?” Billy gives you an apologetic look from over Jake’s shoulder. 

Jake huffs, almost like an angry bull. “Off. Limits.” 

You frown, adamantly shaking your head. “Wait, Billy. I am not his girl.” 

“No, it’s alright. I’m sorry I even asked. I’ll see you around, I guess.” He knew better than to pick a fight with Jake Seresin. His defeated gaze darts to the floor before he makes his way back into the house. 

Your chest is heaving as you watch Billy walk away. You don’t know whether you want to cry or scream more. You decide on the latter, not deeming Jake worthy of your tears. 

Jake turns to face you, still smiling proudly to himself. His face slightly falls when he meets your eye. He knows well enough that you were not happy. “Ace?” 

You push at his shoulders. “What the fuck, Hangman?” 

He holds his hands up in surrender. “Hang on–”

The palm of your hands make contact with his broad shoulders once more. “Are you kidding me?” You shove him again but Jake’s hardened features don’t falter. “Who gave you the right? Someone was finally interested in me and you just had to drive them away. Your ego really couldn’t handle the fact that I was getting attention. Is that it?” 

“Ace, wait.” He tries to reach for you but you slap his hand away. 

“No, fuck you, Seresin. You can’t…” Your resolve breaks and the tears that sat on your lash line spill over. “You can’t just ignore me for a week only to talk to me after chasing away the one chance of a boyfriend I’ve got. That’s not fair.” 

“You don’t understand. Billy isn’t good enough for you.” 

“Yeah?” You look at him with tear stained cheeks. “Then humor me. Who is?” 

Jake’s words get caught in his throat as he watches you wipe your tears away with the palm of your hand. He wanted to take your face in his hands and brush those tears away. But he knew you wouldn’t let him. 

“That’s what I thought.” You brush past him, knocking his shoulder with your own. “I’m not like the other girls you mess around with. I know that. But that doesn’t mean I don’t deserve to feel wanted too.” 

He calls after you, realizing just how horribly he screwed up. But you continue on back inside, probably trying to find Nat or Reuben to take you home. He knew that you weren’t like the other girls. You were different, you were better. You were everything he wanted and more. From the moment he met you, he was hooked. It scared him at first. You were the complete opposite from the girls he usually set his sights on. You were hard headed, independent, unafraid to call him out on his bullshit. You challenged him and he liked that. You weren’t shallow like everyone else and you made him feel seen. 

He never thought a group project would lead him to you. You iced him out at first, and admittedly he knew he deserved that. Then he got to know you and he realized he never wanted to stop. Jake wanted to be the one on the receiving end of your jokes and the affection you gave to those close to you. He dropped his asshole attitude and made the effort to get you to see the real Jake Seresin. And it worked. He was doing so well to finally get you to let your guard down around him. Yet all that work, all that progress, went down the drain because he couldn’t keep his emotions in check. 

By the time Jake caught up to you, you were dragging Natasha out the door with Javy on your tails. His heart dropped to his stomach and he wished he could turn back time to one week ago. Before he hurt you and made you cry. 

_______

Your goal was to forget Jake Seresin ever existed. You threw yourself into your work, locking yourself in your room and spending more time in the library than your own apartment. Now that Nat was officially with Javy, the boys were around more often and you just weren’t ready to face him yet. It wasn’t fair to everyone else, you knew that. But it was easier for you to push them away. You turned back into that academic machine you were before Bradley and Jake forced you out of your shell. You didn’t party, didn’t go out, didn’t join the gang for movie night. Your new friends were your coursework. And when that ran out, you turned to your favorite show reruns for comfort. 

You ignore the series of knocks on your door for the third time tonight. Natasha sighs in defeat, turning back to the group with a shake of her head. “I told you. She’s not coming.” 

Reuben frowns. “Did you tell her Jake wasn’t coming with us?” 

Everyone was aware of your complicated relationship with Jake. The small dance the two of you did was obvious to everyone but yourselves. It was only recently that Jake finally admitted why you’ve been hiding yourself away. If it weren’t for Javy holding her back, Natasha would’ve tore Jake to shreds. 

“I did.” Natasha knew you and she knew you were embarrassed for lashing out at Jake the way you did. Hiding was the safest way to avoid facing yet another humiliating confrontation about your behavior. 

You’ve never spoken to Nat directly about your insecurities, but she saw them in the little things you did. Not bothering to wear extravagant makeup or clothing, putting up a hard front, and pretending not to care. Deep down she knew you cared about how you were perceived. You did care whether or not people found you desirable. You wanted the cliche, movie romance. You wanted someone to sweep you off your feet, just like Westley in The Princess Bride. 

Never, have you let those insecurities break your spirit. Until now. She has never seen you so small. She didn’t understand how Jake Seresin managed to knock you down with just one hit. 

But it has been nearly two weeks since the party and Natasha was done with your groveling and self pity. You were going to get out of your room and you were going to have fun. 

“Just give her a second,” Reuben whispers, having just a little bit of faith left in you. 

It was as if you felt the little piece of hope Reuben had left for you because suddenly, the door of your room swings open and a breath of relief leaves both of your friends. You had decided to come out and join them after all. Nat had told you it was just a casual hangout amongst your friends, bar Bradley and Jake. You settled on changing into an oversized Naval Academy sweatshirt you had thrifted and an old pair of faded jeans. 

Nat hadn’t seen you in anything other than pajama tees and sweatpants so to her, this was a big win. 

Reuben smiles widely at your appearance before coming up to you and gathering you into his arms. “There you are.” His words and affection pulls an unexpected giggle out of you, soothing Reuben and Nat’s nerves. “How’ve you been, Ace?” 

You shrug, shifting in his hold as he keeps an arm around you. “I could be better. But I guess I could be worse too.” 

Natasha hooks your arm with hers, taking you from Reuben’s grasp. “You ready to go? Javy is waiting in the car with Bob and Mickey. I was thinking we could go to The Hard Deck using your car. You know, like old times.” 

That brings a ghost of a smile to your face. The Hard Deck was a place of refuge for you and your group of friends, despite it being a Navy bar. You and Mickey found it by accident, stopping over at the nearest institution because he had to use the bathroom really badly on a drive back to campus. The bartender, Penny Benjamin, was sweet and treated you all like her own children. You haven’t seen her in awhile and just knew a visit to your spot was long overdue. “Yeah, I’d like that.” 

The drive to the bar brings a bit of your old spark back. Natasha had the windows rolled down while the two of you belted out your favorite songs at the top of your lungs. She filled you in on all the things you missed from the past couple of weeks, strategically leaving out any anecdotes involving Jake. Though, Nat hasn’t seen him much since the party. It seemed as if he was taken over by the spirit of an old Delta Chi member. He was slumming it with the sorority girls and stayed out late partying with the other guys of his Frat. Bradley had tried to snap him out of it, but he reverted to his old ways. Back to before they met you. 

Upon arriving at The Hard Deck you exchange a round of pleasantries with the rest of your friends who were glad to see you finally out of, as Mickey had called it, your “Bat Cave.” You volunteered to grab some drinks for the rest of the party while they settled in your usual booth in the back. 

You returned to the table with beers for the guys, a club soda for Bob, a Mai Tai for Nat, and a lemonade for yourself. The night was spent full of laughter and warmth as you found yourself slipping back into your natural groove of things. Soon, your once dampened mood started to dissipate. 

“I’m telling you, there’s something going on with Professor Mitchell and Penny,” Mickey slurs. 

The group erupts into chaos then, one talking over the other and you can’t help but laugh as you lean into Mickey’s side. You missed this. You were so hard headed that in the process of blocking one person out, you put it upon everyone else. But you were here now and he wasn’t. That’s all that mattered to you. 

Reuben is the one to calm the group down. “Alright, alright. You’re saying, P. Mitchell and Penny are… romantically involved. Where the hell did you get that idea?” 

“DnD club meets here on Tuesdays and coincidentally so does Professor Mitchell,” he shrugs. 

“Did you say DnD club?” Javy’s wheezing between breaths and Natasha has to slap him on the chest to get him to stop. 

Mickey rolls his eyes. “I have a life outside of you guys, you know.” 

“Yeah, but DnD club?” 

“What’s wrong with DnD?” Bob chimes in, slightly offended. 

Nat slaps him again. “Javy!”

“Right, sorry. Please, continue.” 

“Actually, I don’t think I want to,” Mickey narrows his eyes at the man. 

“Mick, he was joking. Please finish what you were saying.” You tap him affectionately on the shoulder with a gentle smile. 

He attempts to continue his story when a smack to the tabletop catches all of you off guard. You tear your gaze from Mickey to be met with Bradley Bradshaw clad in one of his signature Hawaiian shirts as he leans against the table. 

You give him a pained smile, knowing that where Bradley went, Jake wasn’t far behind. 

“Good to see ya, Ace,” Bradley nods. 

“You too, Brad,” you tell him softly. And you meant it. 

The group falls uncharacteristically quiet and you feel Natasha give your knee tight squeeze. 

“Didn’t know the gang was getting back together.” The familiar snark of the one person you didn’t want to see rings through your ears. Jake Seresin struts over with that stupidly cocky grin of his and unsurprisingly, another sorority girl on his arm. 

No longer caring for pleasantries with the man, you roll your eyes. You hate to admit that it stung to see him with yet another woman. A small part of you hoped that maybe he’d show up empty handed and acknowledge your presence. That didn’t happen and it felt like a knife to the chest. What did you expect? Of course, nothing has changed since the last time you saw him. While you were feeling worse than ever about yourself, Jake had absolutely zero cares in the world. He only cared about himself, he always would. 

Javy was the only one who had the stomach to greet him with a simple, “Hey.” 

He chuckles, almost mockingly, as the girl on his arm tries to gain his attention and pull him to the bar. “Why weren’t we invited to the party?” 

“Because no one wants you here, Bagman,” Natasha spits. 

Jake brings a hand to his chest, acting hurt at her insinuation. “You wound me, Natasha.” 

She gives him the finger in response. 

“Now does everyone not want me here? Or is there a certain someone who doesn’t want me here?” He raises a brow and his bright green eyes land on you. 

You avoid his gaze and you hear Bradley hiss Jake’s name. 

“What? I’m just saying. It’s pretty obvious someone didn’t want me here and we all know who.” Jake doesn’t care that the girl who had been hanging off of him moments ago found someone else to play with, abandoning her post to flirt with another guy over at the pool tables. He had your attention and to him that was enough. 

You feel a familiar sting behind your eyes, knowing damn well he was just toying with you at this point. 

“Stop.” This time it’s Javy who speaks up, surprising Jake. “If you only came over here to be a dick then I suggest you leave.” 

The light mood from earlier has completely died and you know that once he leaves, nothing can bring it back. 

“Ace.” 

He calls you out directly this time and you can’t hold it in any longer. All the hurt and anger he caused bubbles up to the surface. Part of you wants to talk to him, clear the air up a bit and give him a chance to apologize. The other part of you, the more rational part, decides to ignore him entirely. 

You quietly ask Natasha if you could pass and her and Javy get up to stand to the side to let you through. You purposely angle your body so your back is towards Jake, announcing that you were going to get another drink before heading in the direction of the bar. 

Jake moves to follow you, only to be stopped by his best friend. 

Javy grabs his wrist with a disapproving frown. “What the hell are you doing?” 

“Let go, Javy,” he absent mindedly demands. His eyes never leave your figure as you make your way through the crowd. 

“No. You’re being an asshole, man. What happened to the guy who was repeatedly texting me to make sure she was okay? I told you where we were because I thought you were going to apologize. Not do… whatever that was.” Disappointment shines in Javy’s deep brown eyes. 

Bradley slides into the space where you once were, watching what was about to unfold with the rest of them. 

“Wait a minute, you told him we were going here? Javy!” Natasha looks at her boyfriend in disbelief. 

“I’m sorry! This idiot told me he wanted to make it up to her.” He gestures blindly to Jake who was running a hand through his already disheveled hair. 

Natasha snorts. “Unbelievable,” she swears under her breath. 

“Nat–” Jake starts, but she cuts him off in an instant. 

“No. You stay away from her, got it? She’s had enough of your games, Seresin, and quite frankly so have I.” 

“I messed up. I know I did. But please, please just give me a chance to explain.”

He takes Natasha’s silence as an unspoken truce. “I care about her. So much that it scares the shit out of me. I was gonna tell her, you know. Then I saw her with Bob and I realized that she could do so much better than me. So I did what I do best. I pushed her away.” 

Bob flushes red at the mention of his name. 

“What is there to say about myself other than that I’m your typical, college fuckboy? The thing is, I was fine with that reputation. I was good at doing things on my own. Then I met Ace and I realized she’s my antidote. That girl gave me tunnel vision. Suddenly, I’m looking at my future and I want to do more with my life than be known as a college heartbreaker. The one thing I know to be true is that I want to be better with her by my side.”

“Why should I believe you after the way you treated her?” Natasha’s gaze narrows, still not fully convinced. 

He swallows harshly. “You have every right not to. I wouldn’t believe me either. But you’ve got to understand that I never realized just how much she really meant to me until I almost lost her.” There’s a look of defeat that crosses his features, and his head falls to his chest. 

Nat’s hardened stare falters ever so slightly. “To Billy. But wait, I don’t understand. What about that girl you came in here with?” 

“Oh, she’s here for free booze. I needed to get Ace’s attention somehow.” 

She rolls her eyes. “You’re an idiot.” 

Jake nods, regret shining in his eyes. “I know. Listen, I’m not good at relationships.” 

“Trust me, we know,” Bradley mutters under his breath. 

Jake shoots him a quick glare before continuing. “I don’t know how to do them. For Ace, I’ll learn. I would do anything for her. Look, I know I’ve made mistakes and I need to fix them before it’s too late.” 

Natasha was conflicted. She looks at Javy who meets her gaze with a soft smile. Then to Reuben and Bradley. Finally, her eyes land once more on Jake. She found herself in the same dilemma she was in before she started dating Javy. Their reputation precedes them. You were the one to warn her of Delta Chi’s womanizer ways. Yet she still gave Javy a chance and it was the best decision she ever made. She knew deep down that these guys had good hearts. No matter how much she wanted to deny it, she knew Jake did too. He was kinder with you, softer. You always brushed him off but Nat saw the way he affected you. He made you happy and you deserved to be. If she could give Javy that chance, shouldn’t she extend it to Jake too?

She groans with her head in her hands. “Fine. Fine.” 

Jake’s eyes light up, clearly expecting another rejection. “Really?”

“Yes. But I swear if you hurt her again, if you break her heart, I won’t hesitate to kill you.” 

His stomach churns at the thought, knowing full well that she meant it. “Yes, ma’am,” he salutes. 

“Now go get her before it’s too late.” In other words, Natasha had finally given him her blessing. 

Jake’s dejected state is replaced with one of determination. He mouths an appreciative thank you, before setting his sights on you. 

“Forget DnD club, I need to hang out with you guys more often because that was better than a Netflix drama,” Mickey babbles, making Bob smack him lightly on the back of his head. 

With her arms crossed, Natasha stares out the window wistfully. “I just hope he can make things right.” 

Wrapping his arms around Nat, Javy gives her a reassuring squeeze. “Don’t worry, he’s got this.” 

_________

“Hey Pen, can you just tell Natasha to ride home with the boys? I think I’m going to head out.” You place a wad of cash on the bar top, signaling for her to close your tab. 

The woman frowns, noticing the bothersome frown on your face. “You sure, sweetheart?” 

Downing the last of your lemonade, you nod. “Thank you, for the advice and everything.” 

“Of course. Hey, don’t be too hard on yourself, okay?” 

A tight smile pulls at your lips in farewell. You push your way through the rowdy crowd, breathing deeply once you make it outside. 

You curse under your breath. You didn’t know it was supposed to rain tonight. You eye your car in the distance, deciding whether to make the trek or go back inside until it stops. The sound of the door opening behind you catches your attention and your heart leaps out of your chest. 

“Ace,” Jake Seresin calls out, desperately trying to reach you. 

You throw all caution to the wind and run out into the pouring rain, too exhausted to deal with him right now. 

His shoes squeak and splash through the puddles on the asphalt. Not caring that he was soaked to the bone, he runs after you. Jake calls out for you again but you continue on. For once, he doesn’t find himself admiring your stubborn attitude. 

You throw a quick glance behind you, hoping to see that you’ve lost him, but Jake’s strides are longer than yours and he has closed more of the distance between you two than you thought. A shiver racks your form and your clothes are sticking uncomfortably to your skin. You find yourself regretting your decision but there’s no way you can take it back now. You shove your hand into your pocket, frantically pulling out your car keys once you make it to your car. 

Jake sees you shiver as you try to unlock your car. You just barely get the driver’s side to open when he comes up behind you and presses the door shut. Your back is to his front and he pleads for you to turn around. 

You hear him before you see him. You don’t want to turn around. You can’t. You know the second you look into his opalescent green eyes, your resolve will shatter. “Get off, Jake,” you demand impatiently. 

“Please look at me, please.” The desperation of his voice startles you. Never, have you heard Jake Seresin say the word ‘please,’ and never have you heard him beg. 

You’re shaking as you wrap your arms around yourself for warmth. You bite into your bottom lip to stop it from trembling. From the rain or from the tears that have started streaming down your cheeks, you are unsure. 

“Ace,” he breathes. 

His breath is hot against the skin of your neck soothing you from the cold. But still, you don’t budge. 

Jake finds himself getting frustrated and he runs his hand through his damp hair, moving it away from his eyes. He can barely see your reflection in your car window, his vision blurred from the raindrops that cloud his vision. But the pale moonlight and dim streetlamp shows him enough to see that you feel just as hurt as he does, if not more. “Fine. You don’t have to look at me. I just need you to listen.” 

You say nothing. 

He exhales through his mouth as he recalls what he wants to say. “Remember when we first met and you asked me if I actually had a brain or if I just thought with my dick? That was the moment I knew you were unlike anyone else I’ve ever met. Usually, I’d have girls swooning over me left and right, but not you. You weren’t fazed by me in the slightest and that intrigued me. Everything about you intrigues me. Which is why I was so eager to get more out of you. I poked fun. I made jokes. I made sure that your attention was almost always on me because when it was, it gave me the best view of each and every thing you had to offer. Like the way you bite your bottom lip when you’re trying not to cry.” 

Your breath hitches in your throat from his words, heart going faster than that goddamn roadrunner. 

“Come on, Ace.” 

How could you deny him when he spoke with so much conviction? You spin on your heel to face him. He’s soaked, just as you are, and yet you think he has never looked so beautiful. As you look at him, the ache in your chest doesn’t subside and you sniffle from the cold. “What do you want, Seresin?” 

“I’m sorry,” he chokes out. 

You look away from him. “I don’t need your pity.” 

“Hey, I’m serious. I know I hurt you and I will never forgive myself for it.” 

There’s a sincerity in his tone that throws you off. “Then why? If you feel so bad about it, why did you do it?” 

“Because… Because I…” He’s nervous. Of all the times he has ever spoken to you, this is the one time he has felt this way. 

Your patience is wearing thin so you shake your head and run a hand down your face. You were so tired of him holding out on you. “You know what? All I ever wanted was for you to look at me the same way you look at those other girls. Why wasn’t I good enough for you?” Once the floodgates opened, it was hard to get them locked up again. 

You might as well have ripped his heart out of his chest instead of saying that. The effect it had on him would’ve been all the same. “Oh, baby,” he cups your face gently between his calloused hands and strokes his thumbs across the apples of your cheeks. The rain made it hard for him to tell which marks were tears and which were rainwater, but he treated them all the same. “Those girls have nothing on my Ace. You are more than enough. You are everything and I was too blind to see it until now.” 

“What?” You whimper. 

God, does he want to kiss that pout right off your face. “I don’t look at you the way I look at everyone else because I don’t want them the way I want you.” 

“And how is that, Jake?” 

That alone gives him a glimmer of hope. His heart skips a beat and his stomach erupts in butterflies.“You called me Jake,” he grins. “You never call me Jake.” 

You scoff, not realizing the name slipped. “Answer the question.” 

“I want every part of you. I want late nights and study sessions. I want to be the first one you call and the last one you text goodnight. The good, the bad, all of it. As long as it’s you.” 

The honesty in his gaze makes you want to believe him. Because that’s all you ever wanted from him. So bad. But he has hurt you one too many times. You don’t think you’d be able to take it if he did one more time. “How do I know you won’t hurt me again?” 

Jake takes the leap, resting his forehead on yours. When you don’t pull away, he confesses, “You don’t. But I will spend every day proving to you that I’m never going to make that mistake again.” He brushes some of your damp hair away from your face and admires how ethereal you look in this light. “One date, Ace. Let me make it up to you.” 

You relish in his warmth, the aching hurt in your chest finally subsiding. The raging storm in your heart is finally calm. “One date. That’s all you’re getting.” 

The smile that spreads across his face is the brightest you’ve ever seen. He no longer feels lost now that he has you. “That’s all I need, darling.” 

For once, you believe him. 

add yourself to my taglist!

tgm taglist (does not include ‘seasons’ tags): @joaquinwhorres @harrycherrylove @smoothdogsgirl

a/n: this was supposed to be short, yet here we are. i hope you enjoy frat!jake as much as i do <3 as usual, huge thanks to @briseisgone love u hun.

[whateversawesome]

SxF Chapter 91: Perspective, History, Empathy

Let me start by saying that I didn't think this chapter would make me so emotional. Was it the same for you?

A small side character like Millie, who we saw only as one of Yor's annoying co-workers, turned out to have a very sad backstory and gave us a glimpse of how things are for young people in Ostania.

This chapter talks a lot about people understanding and misunderstanding each other. Millie was just talking about her own experience and feelings, she was explaining why it was so difficult for her to help during an event like this, and that lady felt personally attacked because she saw things from her own point of view and her sufferings.

In no way the story discards any of those ladies' sufferings; what they went through during the war was very difficult, I'm sure. Nevertheless, comparing their sufferings and demanding Millie to act the same way just because they were able to do it, it's not right.

They both had different experiences because their circumstances were different, so they face life in their own way. That's exactly Yor's point.

Here, Yor demonstrates her best quality (and one of the many reasons why her husband fell in love with her): Emotional strength.

I've said it before and I'll say it again; Yor is a very emotionally intelligent character. The way she stood up for Millie displayed all her emotional strength. She called out that woman in such a smart way!! She wasn't rude but her words were true and very wise.

One of the most important things Yor mentions is that we cannot bear the same load because we're different. And I couldn't agree more👏

Also, if we take it as a metaphor, Yor is such a strong person because she carried a very heavy load: as a child and an orphan, she had to take care of her brother. Because of this, a naturally kind person like her had to learn to murder in order to survive.

It was a beautiful chapter. On top of everything, we learned a few important things:

1.Yor did lose her parents during the war and because of the war.

2.Donovan Desmond did NOT start the war. But plenty of young people like Millie don't know that, so it's possible that since he was Prime Minister during most of the war, he gets blamed for starting it.

3.Donovan Desmond is hated by many. That's probably the reason why he's no longer in office. And it also wouldn't be surprising that the majority of people in Ostania who voted against him want to move on from the war.

3.Melinda still wears her wedding ring and, even though she's separated from her husband, she still counts him as an important person for her. I guess, you can hate a person's actions and opinions, hate what they have become, but care about them at the same time...their marriage is complicated.

4.Not only Yor and Twilight fear the SSS because of their jobs. The general population do too because they know rich and powerful people can make them disappear regardless whether they are spies or not. That means arrests and disappearences of innocent people are common.

5.There was a repression during war time. This means the state controls and restricts certain rights of its citizens. When war happens, the state may determine it's necessary to protect their country and citizens. Chances are that policing of others started then and Ostanians got used to living like that.

And now some questions:

Was Melinda being sincere? In my opinion yes (for the most part). Melinda is no longer campaigning for her husband. In fact, she's going there incognito. Since her husband is no longer the Prime Minister and they don't have any elections to win, she doesn't have to support this types of events. If you think about it, once a politician retires from the public eye, their spouse generally goes back to their normal life.

Something that caught my attention was that it was mentioned Melinda has a lot of enemies; probably because her husband has a lot of enemies too. If that's the case, it would be easier for Melinda to move abroad, where she could have a care-free life, yet, she has chosen to stay in Ostania. Why?

Melinda is still a very mysterious character. We don't know her plans or intentions. We don't know why she separated from her husband. My only guess is that she's suffered a great deal and that's why she's able to empathize with Millie, even though their experiences are different.

What do you think?

Bonus (to end on a light note):

This is the Sxf when we see Yor 😄

[a-dinosaur-a-day]

Why So Serious? This is a Dinosaur Blog?

So we live in a world that has built its entire mythology off of hierarchies. The idea that the rich are better than the poor. The whites better than people of color. Men better than women. Able-bodied and able-minded better than the disabled and neurodivergent. Straight, cis folk better than queers. christians better than any other people of any other religion. That's the society we in "western" places live in. Another fundamental component of that is that humans are better, more important, more "evolved" or "chosen" than any other living thing.

and that is just as false as all the rest of them.

you can't dismantle it without dismantling the others first, of course. since humano-supremacy is the one the rest is built off of, you won't properly unlearn it unless you unlearn white supremacy first. that's why we see countless vegans being real racist pieces of shit all the time.

but you do have to unlearn anthropocentrism, too. you do. because the biosphere is all fundamentally equal. we are one part of nature, of the ecosystem, connected to all the rest. we are partners in the evolution of life. understanding that is necessary: to combat climate change, to fight against ecofascism, to ensure the survival of our species and the world. we are not uniquely evil or uniquely good. we're just some naked apes that made a bunch of mistakes, but we can fix them, too.

I live with five parrots. every day they remind me that the idea humans are "more evolved" is ridiculous. they understand things I would never expect. and they remind me that they're dinosaurs every damn day. and that's just another type of tetrapod, something so close to us its easy to empathize with them. Now apply it to fungi. It gets harder, right?

But that's why we have to keep working.

And that's why we have to see the history of life not just as an interesting story, but the story of us. The history of all of us. and it explains so much! The quirks of geology lead to the geography of slavery in the united states. Humans wouldn't have even evolved if a rock hadn't randomly hit the planet at the right time. We have hiccups because we descend from fish. The list goes on.

We need to produce a human population that thinks ecologically and evolutionarily, so that we can tackle the real problems and move forward.

And that's why I'm so gd-damned serious about dinosaurs. Because dinosaurs, in that western mythos, are the "lumbering, dumb lizards" that went extinct because they sucked, so the cool mammals could come in and run the show - and we, the coolest mammals of all, took our rightful place as the leaders.

But that's not what happened.

Dinosaurs were well adapted for their environments, intelligent and active animals - and were thriving right until the end-Cretaceous. Nonavian ones only went extinct because of a giant space rock. And dinosaurs are STILL WITH US - as birds - and doing better than ever. There are more species of dinosaur alive today than there are mammals. and humans just kind of, happened, thanks to some lucky accidents. we are as much a product of random chance as the extinction of nonavian dinosaurs was.

All of our anthropocentric myths are just that - myths. frankly, how can we call ourselves "more evolved", when we're destroying the planet - gleefully and rapidly? We have to unlearn this myth.

And, in between crying about my thesis, I will do everything I can to help people unlearn that myth and see the true beauty that is the history of life.

so, yeah. come learn with me. it's the only way to liberate us all.

[androgynoussublimeangel]

One of the biggest bummers for me with Monkie Kid fandom is the unequal idealization of Wukong and villianization of Macaque. I think it downplays the incredibly deep and interesting dynamic that comes from people who have hurt each other but are learning and growing as individuals coming back into orbit of each other and relearning who they are to each other.

It also goes to say that while Lego Monkie Kid is derived from JTTW it can definitely stand on its own considering what they've modified or adapted to work better with what they were aiming for.

Objectively when the series begins Wukong is a better person but he wasn't when his life was more intertwined with Macaque.

In fact they're both pretty bad at the begining. And often even enabled each other to be worse.

Wukong made lots of rash decisions that even if he claims was for "us" was often motivated by selfish ideals for glory pushed by the brotherhood as he disregarded Macaques opinions and worries.

Whereas Macaque has always been focused on perceived slights, essentially victimizing himself more than he actually is and using this to justify his harmful behaviors. He often prods when he should be understanding or aloof when he should be sympathetic. He's quick to lash out because he's always on the defensive.

They both have done things wrong but I'm tired of the fandom always siding with Wukong when the idea is that they're BOTH in the wrong in different ways and most of the turmoil in their relationships stems from simple miscommunications that are escalated by the fact that neither had really faced their past (until season 4 obviously)

And most of the animosity they feel towards each other is leftover from a close relationship now in shambles and being forced back together in order to survive.

(Some people irl can't even handle being in the same room in a cordial setting with someone they aren't friends with anymore. Like come on not crazy that they both instinctivly become defensive. Not to mention we see that they often teased and bickered playfully so not odd to fall back into the pattern just with more animosity. )

We've been following Macaques slow redemption, his willingness to fight LBD despite not knowing if they'd succeed and could result in them all being destroyed. As well as his misguided attempts to mentor MK in his own emotional stunted way.

And Wukong himself has made his own major mistakes as a mentor as well that's like the entirety of the 3rd season but again he's had more character growth thus admitting his wrongs and reflecting on them comes much easier to him, out of the two Wukong is currently the more emotionally intelligent as odd as that sounds. He's more willing to face the reality of his actions than Macaque is but this aligns with their character types. Wukong often being blunt, straightforward and headstrong compared to Macaque who is hesitant and holds his cards close to his chest quick to hide his true intentions behind attitude and misdirection. Along with this Wukong is predictably bitter when trapped under the mountain especially when Macaque escaped the consequences which once again plays into his self-serving attitude but at the same time Macaque had always been hesitant about crossing the Jade Emperor and warned Wukong that in classic Wukong fashion, he wasn't thinking it through and considering the consequences.

(Side note I find it incredibly odd for people to not consider all of elements on both Wukongs and Macaques separate experiences. As well as the odd skew on Macaques motives during the Samadi fire arc, since his resurrection his one goal has been to escape and protect his second chance at life, stealing Wukongs power from MK is a measure to protect himself and its easier to trick MK than Wukong (this isnt to say its justified, hurting MK was wrong plain and simple because again Macaque is heavily flawed as well and hasn't had the time or guidance Wukong did to reflect and change cuz he was ya know, dead (but his death is another interesting conversation when considering the context of the original vs LMK which might play it off in a different way or have to avoid it altogether due to rating issues)and when he is forced to work with LBD once again his life is on the line, that's called coercion. AND he still fights a possessed Wukong at MK behest, despite the likely traumatic fear that would be triggered by fighting Wukong again and that LBD might not stop a possessed Wukong from killing him again. Doesn't mean what he did was right but if you consider from his perspective along with the fact that he died before he got to have his own "journey to the west" or journey of growth and self-reflection. We're seeing the Macaque that Wukong killed all those years ago. It makes understanding his motives a little easier.)

[asongofstarkandtargaryen]

Weirwood bows (Arya's future weapon?)

First, I want to clarify that the theory I'm going to write about isn't one I consider very possible to happen. Still, since I'm tired talking over the same subjects on asoiaf, I decided to have some harmless fun by letting my imagination run wild with speculating about it.

On one of Bran chapters in AGOT, we find out that the children of the forest used bows made of weirwood in order to hunt. Back then, the children of the forest were part of the long past, only existing in Maester Luwin's history lessons.

Later on, we find that they still exist as Bran encounters them on his travel beyond the Wall. Also, on Jon's chapters we learn that free folk also uses weirwood bows (alongside with weirwood spears).

Here comes the wild speculation part.Arya has expressed more than one her desire to learn how to shoot arrows.

There were a dozen steps between the archer and the point of her sword. We have no chance, Arya realized, wishing she had a bow like his, and the skill to use it.

ASOS, ARYA II

Anguy smiled over his ale. "When I don't fancy a man's eyes, I put an arrow through one." Arya remembered the shaft that had brushed by her ear. She wished she knew how to shoot arrows.

ASOS, ARYA II

Anguy had arrows tipped with bodkins as well as broadheads. A bodkin could pierce even heavy plate. I'm going to learn to shoot a bow, Arya thought. She loved swordfighting, but she could see how arrows were good too.

ASOS, ARYA VII

So, what if one day - after she learned the essential arrow skills- she obtained a bow made of weirwood; the tree which plays a crucial role to Northern religion and it's linked with various magic elements.

During her time with the Brotherhood without Banners, Anguy tried to teach her how to shoot arrows but it wasn't successful. Still, instead of altogether dismissing the possibility she could learn that skill, he simply said she needed a different type of bow:

Anguy let Arya try his longbow, but no matter how hard she bit her lip she could not draw it. "You need a lighter bow, milady," the freckled bowman said. "If there's seasoned wood at Riverrun, might be I'll make you one."

ASOS, ARYA IV

When Arya returns to Westeros, I do believe that she will meet the BwB again so perhaps this time Anguy can properly teach her, and she could obtain a weirwood bow one day.

I'm not saying this is going to happen within the asoiaf series. Martin already gave her character a weapon (Needle) in case she needs to defend herself so he might not feel the need to show her obtaining another fighting skills & weapon. But since I believe that Arya will live a long life post the end of the series, she could find time to learn to shoot arrows later on. Maybe, she can ask her oldest brother, Jon, to teach her. He has the skill and I doubt he would deny Arya a skill that would increase her changes of survival.

Speaking of him, it's interesting that he compares Arya to Ygritte right after he mention that the latter uses a bow made out of weirwood:

Stonesnake had called her a "spearwife" when they'd captured her in the Skirling Pass. She wasn't wed and her weapon of choice was a short curved bow of horn and weirwood, but "spearwife" fit her all the same. She reminded him a little of his sister Arya, though Arya was younger and probably skinnier.

ASOS, JON II

Finally, I wanted to say that on one of Bran's visions we see one of the Stark ancestors using weirwood arrows:

A dark-eyed youth, pale and fierce, sliced three branches off the weirwood and shaped them into arrows

ADWD, BRAN III

I'd love to see Arya using a weapon her ancestors also used, one that it's connected to the magic of the North.

[allbuthuman]

BSD and loneliness

Loneliness and what it does to a person, as well as how far the attempts to counteract it can go, what they can and can't do, is an overarching theme in Asagiri's writing, and many of the stories portrayed can basically boil down to "this person is suffering because they are really, really lonely", which I love. Here I want to focus more on loneliness of the "existential" type, the one that's almost intrinsic to someone and stems from who they are rather than whom they do or don't have around them, because, in my mind, it makes for great tragic stories.

Dazai

He is the most obvious example, and probably one of the loneliest characters I've ever come across. Able to comprehend everything, yet unable and from a point onward unwilling to be comprehended, no one can understand his mind, and even those "like him" who might, like Fyodor, won't understand his emotions. First of all, of course, he controls them too well. Secondly, although I do think there are moments he shows a need for connection, he does that from the safety of his usual persona (for example, hiding behind his usual teasing), so that, in the mind of others, there is no clear distinction between the two. Thirdly, the awareness he has of his own emotions is probably very low, since he's learned that the only way to survive and make sense of himself and the world is to rationalise. There are meagre chances for Dazai the human being with emotions to be less lonely, until he chooses to let himself be seen and be vulnerable, and, at this point, it would probably be extremely hard for him to actually practice that, even if he did make the decision.

Dazai does understand that it's better for people to be with one another rather than alone. It's clear even in Stormbringer, when his mental health is arguably at its lowest. It's clear in Dark Era, when he says that if everyone around him died, it would be a form of suicide (I'm using these examples even though there are clearer ones because these are probably the times he was doing the worst). But he doesn't believe that he can have true companionship, and is also being taught to believe that attachment is a weakness, that loneliness is where he belongs.

And then there's Oda, who, while admittedly unable to understand his mind, comprehended exactly this loneliness of his. He and Ango both did, and, as per the light novel, they could not manage to interfere, but were by him as he experienced it. And yet he barely knew that was the case, until Oda made it clear, and then the one person who he now knew could see him died.

But what people rarely comment on is how much capacity to care for someone Dazai had. There was one person, the first person who saw beyond the unpredictable Demon Prodigy, the first person who acknowledged his loneliness - didn't even manage to break through it, just acknowledged it and treated him with care, and that was enough for Dazai to care about him as much as he did, and that is heartbreaking in itself.

Lastly, but perhaps the most telling point of all is Asagiri himself admitting that he never knows what Dazai is thinking. I don't want to get too into meta, but being the creation of someone, and still not being understood by your own creator is possibly the loneliest position I can think of.

Verlaine

My second favourite example, because here we have someone who was loved, and he knew that he was loved, but it wasn't enough to change things.

Verlaine's loneliness is objective, in the sense that he really is fundamentally different than those around him, he really is not biologically human. That loneliness of his, combined with the hatred that it fostered, was what led him to seek Chuuya - he thought that the only person who could understand him was one who shared that nature, and incorrectly believed that Chuuya would think so as well. He needed Chuuya, and thought that Chuuya would need him in he same way. He was, however, wrong, because Chuuya, being uncertain of his humanity instead of certain of his inhumanity, put great effort into being among other people instead of discarding them.

Rimbaud knew Verlaine's nature since the beginning. He accepted it, he cared for him and loved him regardless. He knew that it made him suffer and was there for him, and he did try to empathise with him, while knowing that it was impossible, because the gap was not one that could be mended. In Verlaine's case, no love could be enough to change his nature, a nature that made him look at the world with hate, including the person who loved him. To a person who feels like they should never have been born, even the sincerest "I'm glad you were born" would only cause pain, until it was too late.

Of course, that's not to say that he actually hated Rimbaud - it's very apparent from the ending of Stormbringer that he cared about him, and that he did appreciate all the efforts he made for him. I don't know if you want to call it love, but it's the closest thing he had the capacity for. But, at the end of the day, nothing that Rimbaud would do could change the fact that Verlaine perceived the gap between himself and the world as unbridgeable. Yet still, he was affected. Nothing could really change, but Rimbaud reached him somehow, although the ending couldn't have been different.

Shibusawa

Here we have an example of someone who shared a similar kind of loneliness, but never had anything to counteract it. He's portrayed as comparable to Dazai and Fyodor: smarter than everyone around him, detached and bored. But, in contrary to Dazai, he isn't shown having any meaningful relationship that could challenge that. This difference is recognised by Dazai, who tells him to his face that he wouldn't think like that if he had any friends. This is a "playful" way to put it, but in reality Dazai simultaneously empathises with his point of view and discards it, because he now knows better than to view people the way Shibusawa does.

I haven't read the light novel, I'm just basing this on the movie, so I can't say much more, but I think his character works as a good point of contrast between people who still try to find "meaning" and those like him, who have decided it's not worth it.

Curious to see where Fyodor, the other so-called superhuman, will fall in regards to this loneliness, but I think we don't know enough about him and how he actually feels in order not to grasp in the dark.

(part 2 about the less existential type of loneliness if i gather enough coherent thoughts)

[quitealotofsodapop]

Sorry MK XD Part 2:

(Link to Part 1)

Putting these two asks from @writingamongther0ses + @weaverpop (who asked Part 1) together for convenience:

It's not everyday that you learn that you're an asexually-reproducing eldritch stone monkey spirit and that you're in-fact Pregnant.

First person he tells immediately is Mei.

Not seeking advice, but comfort.

Mei has a moment of shock (her bestie is preggers), awe (she's gonna be an auntie!), and horror (it's a almost-always-fatal type of pregnancy). She hasn't any experience with this kind of dilemma. She does give MK a coarse glare when he (bashfully) explains how it likely happened - having a vacation holed away in a mountain cave isn't a bright idea when you're a stone monkey. She does give uber support for whatever MK decides to do with the pregnancy. Lots of crying hugs are shared.

However it's still S4...

When the rest of the gang are still busy being trained by Subodhi, MK is left alone for a bit to contemplate his situation - it's the first time he's had some time alone without Lao Tzu bothering him for medical testing.

Macaque appears asking whats up.

MK just starts bawling.

Macaque: "Whoa! Didn't think you were the crying type, kiddo." MK: "Monkey King is gone. The Jade Emperor is dead. I might be some sort of chaos entity. And I'm incubating an egg that will kill me. I'M ALLOWED TO CRY!" Macaque, shocked: "... can you repeat the last part again?"

Ofc much like Wukong, Macaque would 100% offer to get MK some "No-More-Baby Spring Water" from the Kingdom of Women - as he himself is aware of the extreme risks a stone egg carries. But the suggestion just makes MK cry even harder.

Cus MK *wants* this baby. It feels like something he has a true choice in. He didn't have an ideal start to life, and he wants to give his "Egg" a chance he didn't get to have, no matter the bad timing or risk.

Macaque insists MK reconsiders after the Brotherhood are dealt with.

Once they reunite with Wukong in the Memory Scroll, Wukong just *knows* something is off with MK. Gold-Vision clicks on and Wukong makes a startled gasp!

Wukong: "EGG."

Macaque, nods: "Egg."

Wukong: "Since when?"

MK: "Uh... a couple of weeks. Remember when I went on that break? I sorta... accidentally semi-buried myself in clay and paint for a week or something."

Wukong, pauses to think: "Idiot cub!"

(*Wukong pulls MK into a soft hug, and monkey-chirps that he's going to be ok. Worried tears stream down both of their faces*)

Once they get back to the crew and begin devising a plan to take down the Brotherhood, MK discovers somehting unfortunate from Nezha.

Nezha: "By the way Monkie Kid, I wish you good health." MK: "Huh??" Nezha, not reading the room: "Your condition. Lao Tzu was very excitable, even with the invasion from the Brotherhood putting a damper on things. No matter your choice, I wish you swift recovery." MK: "How many people know?!" Nezha: "Word spreads fast, practically all of the Celestial Realm knows at present. Gold Star of Venus was the first informed obviously. And of course Lao Tzu's assistant was made aware of your condition - how she's related to Jin and Yin I'll never know. And many of us in the barracks learned it from Lao Tzu himself talking in the halls." MK: "wut" (⊙_⊙) Pigsy, angry-worried: "...what condition are we talking about here!?"

MK gives an abridged version of whats going on with him to the gang, nearly giving dear Dadsy and Baba Tang heart attacks in the process.

Pigsy, fuming: "It's was that Red Prince punk wasn't it!?" MK: "Dadsy please calm down! I made it myself!"

Wukong and Macaque continue to offer the Spring Water so that MK doesn't have to go through with the process, but the monkey boy has made his decision on the matter clear. He wants his Egg. And if it comes down to him needing to weigh the price of immortality to survive and raise his kid, then he'll take it.

Now back to saving the world...

Azure Lion is ultimately defeated not just by the fury of a pregnant Shi Baomu, but by the worried protective power of multiple gods and immortals coming to MK's defence. Particularly with a giant Jade-Toothed Rake (Pigsy), the power of the Golden Cicada (Tang), the flames of a dragon and a god (Mei and Nezha), and the backup of the Queen Mother of the West herself - who pretty much rips Azure Lion in half with her bare claws in retribution for her felled mate.

Flower Fruit Mountain is still split in two. But it bursts back into life shortly thereafter.

The cosmos is still fractured, but the Queen Mother has taken her husband's burden in place of Nezha (he insisted but the Queen Mother dismissed him since he "was but a mere child").

The beach party occurs and the gang is still coming to terms with MK's condition.

Especially the Demon Bull Family. And especially if Red Son managed to dodge the Scroll in this timeline.

DBK: "When am I to expect my grandcalf?" Red Son: "FATHER!" MK: *shrugs noncommittally while eating an ice cream*

[arlana-likes-to-write]

Second Chance - Chapter 5

Masterlist

Warning: mention of car accident, past surgery, cancer treatment, chemotherapy side effects, survivor guilt, bone marrow procedure, talk about death.

Relationships: Yelena x reader, Morgan x reader (platonic), Tony, Pepper, x reader (platonic), Wanda x reader (platonic)

Note: a lot of this chapter is based on my own personal experience with the disease. As I've learned chemotherapy effects everyone very differently. The type of chemo the reader is on is based on her type of cancer but the treatment plan may not be 100% accurate.

Word count: 4k

Morgan was pressed into your side as she scrolled through the many streaming services that were offered at the tower to pick a movie. After dinner, Morgan dragged you to her floor and sat you down to watch a movie. She claimed it was unfair that you didn’t play with her so you had to watch a movie together. It was cute and a movie night sounded perfect after the long day you had. There was something about the blonde Black Widow that kept her on your mind. It was a little nerve-racking. Ever since your diagnosis, you’ve sworn off relationships. It leads to more heartbreak in the end. “Wanna watch Moana?”

“We can watch whatever you want, buttercup,” she giggled and pressed play. It was a movie you’ve seen a lot. Hell, your lifelong dream was to live on a sailboat which you did until you got sick.

“Mind if we join?” Pepper asked as the opening song was over. Her daughter hushed her, not taking her eyes off the screen. You smiled, ruffled her head, and nodded at the CEO, who sat next to you on the couch. Tony slid next to Morgan, grabbing her legs and putting them on his lap.

Moaa was probably in your top 5 favorite animated movies but it was getting harder and harder to keep your eyes open to follow the plot. “Hey,” Pepper whispered. “Do you want to go to bed?” You shook your head, not wanting to get up or move Morgan off of you. But your eyelids became heavy and soon your head fell onto Pepper’s shoulder. You were too weak to fight sleep as it called your name.

*    

The weight of your head falling onto Pepper’s shoulder startled her and she tried to keep her body from jumping so she wouldn’t wake you. You didn’t. “Do you want me to move her?” Tony asked. Pepper shook her head.

“No, she’s perfectly fine.” She meant it. When was the last time you allowed yourself to lean on the shoulder of another? Jessica Easton died in 2018, a few months before the Blip. That was 6 years ago. The case remained open. It was another layer to have you bare alone. So you could rest your head on her shoulder as long as you wanted, she didn’t mind.

*   

“I have a meeting with possible investors,” Pepper said, looking at her tablet.

“I’m waiting for a video call from Bruce,” Tony poured coffee into the mug. You rolled your eyes as you filled up your water bottle from the fridge and poured an electrolyte mix into it. It was important to stay hydrated during your chemo sessions. The couple have been going back and forth for 20 minutes on who would be going with you to your appointment. However, it appeared that being Iron Man and the CEO of one of the biggest companies meant busy schedules.

“You know,” you said slowly and put the water bottle on the side of your backpack. Inside, was everything you needed to survive a long day at the cancer center; art supplies, a book, medication, lotion, and snacks lots and lots of snacks. “I can go by myself. I’ve done it before.”

“No,” they said in unison. You sighed, slumping down in the empty chair. Your appointment was at 0900 so you wanted to leave by 0830 to get there a few minutes early. They add to check your results from the blood you gave yesterday. Before every chemotherapy appointment, they needed to make sure your levels were good. 0830 was in 30 minutes and at this rate, you were going to be late.

“Everything okay?” Wanda asked, leaning onto the counter next to you. You sighed.

“Tony and Pepper don’t want me to go to my appointment alone but they are both too busy,” you explained the short-hand version of what was going on this morning. “So I’m just waiting.” She smiled.

“I can take you,” you looked at her in disbelief. She giggled. “I don’t have anything going on.”

“You're amazing,” you turned your attention back to the couple. “Excuse me?” They looked at you. “Wanda said she’ll take me. She’s a very capable adult and you let her watch Morgan,” you sighed when they remained silent. “Oh for goodness sake, I’m getting a needle stapped into my port,” you flipped open your jacket to reveal your tank top. It was March in New York City, it was a little crazy to be wearing a tank top but it made getting to your port easier. Everything went through your port, chemo and they could draw blood. It was easier than them having to run an IV every time. “It’s not like I’m having brain surgery.” You could see Tony thinking it through.

“Fine but you call me as soon as you're done and if there are any issues.” Amazing. Beautiful. You were half tempted to kiss Wanda for saving you.

“I will,” you grabbed Wanda’s hand and your blanket with the other. “See ya later. Bye!” You dragged the poor witch to the elevator, not daring to wait because they could change their minds. “Sorry,” you said told Wanda when the elevator doors closed safely behind you. “I did not want them to change their mind,” she laughed as the elevator moved to the subfloor of the tower. You adjusted the backpack traps and leaned against the metal walls.

“Are you nervous?” Wanda asked. You sighed, looking up at the ceiling.

“It’s not nerves,” you said. “The anticipation really like I’ve done this before but a knot still forms in my stomach, does that make sense?” You asked, looking at her.

“It does. I get the same feeling when I use my powers,” her fingertips began to glow red. “I know the feeling and what I’m supposed to do but my stomach still twists and turns.” Carefully, you reached out to touch her fingers that glowed. It was like a static shock; one moment you were standing in the elevator with Wanda and the next you felt as if you were in the car accident again. The screeching of tires. The piercing sound of metal against metal. And the screams of you and your mom. “Y/n,” you heard your name. “Hey, can you hear me?” You blinked, shaking your head slightly. You were standing in the corner of the elevator, gripping the handle. The doors were open and Wanda was standing in front of you. “Are you with me?” You nodded, licking your lips.

“Yeah,” you said, releasing the hold you had on the handle. There were indents on your palm from the metal. “I’m okay,” Wanda wasn’t convinced, the color was drained from her face making her green eyes pop. “It wasn’t your fault,” you assured her. “I shouldn’t have touched your magic without asking.” She sighed, running her fingers through her hair.

“Let’s get you in the car,” you nodded, allowing her to wrap her arm around your shoulders and lead you to the car. She opened the passenger door and you sat down.

“I feel like I got run over by an elephant,” you said. Wanda smiled and knelt in front of you. “I don’t remember the car accident,” you told her, playing with the threads on the blanket on your lap. “I just woke up in the hospital and I couldn’t answer any of the questions the police asked me.” You whipped away a tear that fell. “Could you help me remember?” You whispered. Wanda nodded, placing a hand on top of yours.

“I can,” your head snapped up to look at you. “But not when you are fighting this.” This was the cancer that was running rampant through your body. “It will be painful and I don’t think your mind or body is strong enough to handle it.” She was right. On your best days, you were lucky to not get tired before noon. “We should get going. Don’t want to be late.”

“Right,” you whispered, swinging your legs into the car and putting your backpack by your feet. Wanda closed the door and rounded the front to the driver's side. By the time she was in the car, you were buckled in. You were grateful that Tony, Pepper, and Wanda were adamant about going with you to your appointments but there was a nagging voice in the back of your head calling out to your mom. Why was she taken from you? Was it some type of punishment or test? Why was it her and not you?”

“Hey,” Wanda’s voice pulled you out of your spiraling thoughts. “Stay with me, okay?” She offered her free hand over the center console. “Stay right here.”

“I’m here,” you promised, lacing your fingers with hers. She wanted you to stay in the present and not slip into the past. You squeezed her hand and held onto it the entire ride, a little afraid to let go.

*  

“Does that hurt?” Wanda asked as the nurse, injected the needle into your port. You were all settled in your little cubicle; a pillow behind your head and a blanket draped over you. Your water bottle, sketchbook, and book were arranged on the small side table how you liked it. Each one had a small TV, and a fridge and there was a kitchen for everyone to use. You never watched TV, content with listening to music and sketching. But now you had someone with you which was weird. You shook your head and thanked the nurse as she left.

“Nope, I put numbing lotion on it before we left,” you answered. “Now I wait.” Wanda looked around.

“And you did this by yourself?” You smiled, nodding at the witch.

“It’s not that bad,” she titled her heat at you, a clear indication she didn’t believe you.”Okay sometimes it gets lonely but the nurses are fun to talk to and I get some drawing done. Besides the double dosage days are the worst since they take forever.” You were given cytarabine and daunorubicin with a flush in between due to the chemotherapy possibility of damaging your kidneys.

“Can I get you anything? Or do anything for you?” You looked at your setup.

“Actually, can you go get me some tea from the common area? We passed the kitchen on our way in.” The witch nodded and journeyed into the kitchen. With a sigh, you picked up your phone and began to scroll through the social media. You liked scrolling through instead of posting yourself. Even though everyone said you needed to make an Instagram, it seemed like a lot of work but you tried to post every once in a while to keep your friends in DC posted. “Shit,” you mumbled when you stopped on a picture that was posted on Captain Mills’ social media page. You forgot your promise to Rebecca. Damn, chemo brain. You pulled up your text message and hit Henry’s contact.

‘Hey Captain, I need a favor. Call me when you free.’ 

*      

“That was a lot of fun,” you said to Wanda as you entered the tower’s lobby. “Thank you for coming with me.” She smile with the blanket you used in her arms. She admitted to helping you carry something. It was nice just talking with Wanda and learning about her through her stories and not the media. The media wasn’t kind to anyone, you’ve seen it grab your mom’s name through the mud. Especially with her case against the Liberation Front, an underground crime syndicate that ran up and down the East Coast. She was able to put one of their leaders Enzo Martinez in prison for life. The local media outlets and officials were not happy with her.

“I’m glad I could go. If you need me to go again let me know.”

“I will,” you hit the button for the elevator, and while you were waiting, you looked towards Rebecca’s desk. She was done helping someone and sat down at her desk. “Hold the elevator for me,” you called over your shoulder and jobbed over to Rebecca. She jumped slightly at your sudden appearance. “Hi.”

“Oh hi. Y/n, right?” You nodded. “I see your talk with Tony went well.”

“It did and all thanks to you,” you fished out a business card from your sweatpants and handed her the card. “A certain captain is expecting a phone call from you,” her hands shook as she took it. Her eyes darted from the piece of paper to you. “And if Tony gives you a hard time about the time off. Let me know, okay? Bye.” You ran back to Wanda.

“Thank you,” she called after you. You waved and stepped into the elevator.

“I’m starving,” you said once the metal doors opened the metal doors to the common floor. Skipping past the couch, you through your backpack on it and made your way to the kitchen. There was stuff in your kitchen but you were too lazy to cook and you were hungry now. You opened the fridge, humming to the song that was playing on the radio.

“Hello, Miss. Easton,” you glanced over your shoulder to see Vision, reading a book on the couch. “How was your chemotherapy appointment?”

“Oh hi Vis, I didn’t see you,” Wanda lay your blanket on the back of the couch. The android took the witch’s hand and kissed the back of her hand. Awe, they were cute. “I had food on the brain,” you turned to look back at the fridge. “But it was good. Wanda made it better.” You pulled out someone’s leftover pizza, you didn’t see a name on it and would deal with the consequences later. You ate the pizza over the sink, not wanting to dirty a plate.

“I thought chemo was supposed to make her lose her appetite,” you nodded.

“It does,” you said, covering your mouth while you chewed on pizza. “But they gave me steroids today to trick my body. I’ll be like this for like 24 hours.”

“What can we do to assist you?” Vision asked. That was such an odd question. What could they do to help you?

“Right now nothing,” you shrugged. “I’ll probably be eating all day.”

“Well I can make chicken paprikash,” Wanda said. “I think we have all the ingredients for it.” Your jaw dropped and a piece of pizza was about to fall out of your mouth.

“You know how to make chicken paprikash,” You said in disbelief.

“I would hope so,” she closed your mouth. “I am Sokovian.” That..made sense. “Sit and I’ll make it.” You did what you were told but not without grabbing a small bag of pretzels.

“There is a restaurant in DC that made chicken paprikash not as good as the one I had in Sokovia,” the witch froze and slowly turned to look at you. She blinked once, twice.

“You’ve been to Sokovia,” you nodded. “Before Ultron happened?” You nodded again.

“In 2014, I was 16 and my mom wanted to help with the war efforts,” you slowly ate the pretzel. “It was a beautiful country.” Your mom was hesitant to bring you with her to a war-torn country due to several attacks orchestrated by the US Air Force to try to stop the country’s political turmoil. This resulted in massive infrastructure and property damage, along with heavy civilian casualties. Besides all that, you found some of the kindest and most beautiful souls in Sokovia. She nodded, her green eyes swelling with tears. You couldn’t imagine losing the place you called home in such a horrific way. Vision joined Wanda’s side, offering a gentle hand on her back.

“Yes,” her accent was much thicker. “Yes, it was. Now,” she smiled. “Let’s get cooking.”

*        

“I’m a little impressed,” Natasha mumbled as she stood next to Yelena and Bucky. “Is that her third plate?” The blonde nodded as you finally took a break from inhaling Wanda’s cooking to take a sip of water.

“Stark is going to need to take out a loan if this is how she’s going to be every week,” Yelena rolled her eyes, slapping the soldier on his cheek.

“Please Stark could end world hunger if he wanted to,” the blonde said. The man in question walked over to you. It was a shock that the man was trying to be a father to you. Yelena was curious if he was going to help you or send you away. It was hit or miss with the billionaire. Yelena left her sister and boyfriend and walked over to the empty seat next to you. “Are you saving any for us?” She asked you. You giggled, whipping your mouth with a napkin.

“Yes, Blondie,” you smiled. “Wanda made a double patch.” Yelena chuckled.

“So, you’ll be eating all of our food for the next 24 hours,” Tony teased. You playfully rolled your eyes, the smile on your face growing.

“I think you can afford it.”

“I said the same thing!” Yelena laughed.

“Your old man has more money than everyone in this tower times two,” you spun around in your chair to see Rhodey and Maria. They must have just gotten back from DC.

“I’m surprised Stark doesn’t have more of you surfacing.” Maria joked. Yelena had that very same thought.

“How about we stop talking about me like I’m not here?” Tony asked.

“Eh, where is the fun in that?” You said, glancing over your shoulder. Tony sighed and filled a travel mug with coffee.

“Don’t tell her something you’ll regret,” the billionaire threatened his friend. Rhodey held up his hands in surrender as Tony headed toward the direction of Pepper’s office. Rhodey rolled his eyes.

“James Rhodes,” he introduced himself, extending his hand for you to shake. “Everyone calls me Rhodey.” You smiled and shook his hand.

“Maria Hill,” the brunette said. “Nice to put a face to the name.” You shook her hand as well.

“The old man likes talking about me I see,” you smiled. Yelena thanked her sister with a smile as Natasha handed her a plate. The rest of the team filled in to get their food and sat around the dining room table. You sat next to Yelena, only bringing a glass of water to the table.

“Not every day a stranger pops up and says you're his kid,” Natasha sat down in the empty chair next to Yelena. “Cut him some slack.”

“Hey, no hate,” you smirked, taking a sip of your water. “I am pretty amazing.” Your comment got a few chuckles from around the table. The Black Widow was sure she heard, ‘She really is a Stark.’ But Yelena scuffed and rolled her eyes. “You got something to say, Blondie?”

“Blondie?” Maria questioned. “What the hell kind of nickname is that -” Before the agent could reveal her name, Morgan rounded the corner and excitedly yelled out your name. It was the only warning you got before the 4-year-old jumped on your lap.

“Mommy and Daddy said you had to go to the doctor today,” Wanda appeared with a small plate with chicken nuggets and mac and cheese. Yelena was a little jealous of her mac and cheese but you waved the witch off when she was about to take Morgan to her seat. “Do they give you a lollipop? My doctor always gives me a lollipop.”

“I did and I didn’t get a lollipop,” the young girl gasped at your confession. Yelena began to eat her dinner but she couldn’t help but watch you interact with your half-sister. “The doctors had to make sure I stay nice and healthy so I can keep playing with you.” You tickled her sides which caused her to squeal and giggle. The sound brought a smile to Yelena’s face but it tugged at her heart and made her stomach drop. Of course, you were good with kids, what couldn’t you do?

“Are you healthy? Daddy said you were sick,” her simple question caused the table to get quiet. Yelena saw you cringe at your choice of words that led to this question.

“You know my mom used to say you can get stronger and stronger every day but you have to eat chicken nuggets and mac and cheese,” you snatched some of the food off her plate. “You wouldn’t mind if I..” you trailed off as you slowly brought the food to your mouth. Morgan gasped and took it out of your hand.

“My chicken nugget,” she said.

“Well eat your dinner before I get hungry again,” you smiled.

“I would listen to her,” Yelena teased. “She’s got a big appetite. I’m surprised she hasn’t eaten all of our food.” You stuck your tongue at her. Morgan got comfortable on your lap and began to eat her food, not realizing you failed to answer her question. Your eyes locked on with Yelena’s and the blonde tried to silently ask if you were okay. You offered her a small smile and focused back on the conversation that was taking place at the table. Yelena wondered how much Tony told his youngest. Did she know that her newest friend was a little more than ‘sick’?

*    

Was it a mistake to leave one of his best friends with the girl who he just learned was his daughter? Probably but he needed to talk to Pepper before he lost his nerve. Quietly, he opened the door to her office and saw that was wasn’t on the phone. “For you,” he said, handing her the coffee he made; no sugar, a dash of oak milk, and either caramel or French vanilla syrup. She took the coffee and eyes him cautiously.

“What did you do?” Pepper asked. Tony gasped, sitting in the chair in front of her desk.

“Why do you think I did anything wrong?” He asked, crossing his right leg over his left. “Why can’t I, as your husband, bring you, my beautiful hardworking wife, coffee?” The CEO stared at him, slowly taking a stop of coffee.

“Caramel,” she said. “My favorite. So, what’s wrong?” Tony sighed, picking up a spar pencil on Pepper’s desk. He twirled the writing device around his fingers.

“I ran the few tests we have and there is one match.”

“Who is it?” She asked. Oh boy. It was now or never.

“Morgan,” he glanced at his wife. To his surprise, her face remained stoic.

“Have you told Y/n yet?” Tony wasn’t expecting that question or this reaction. He had half the mind to wear his Iron Man suit for protection.

“No, you're the only person I’ve told,” he leaned forward. “How are you not freaking out about this? I’m freaking out.” Pepper sighed, closing her laptop. She rested her elbows on top of her desk and folded her hands.

“I figured it was a possibility, especially with what Vision said.” Right. The android said there was a 1% chance for a parent to be matched and 50% for siblings. Of course, Morgan was more likely to be a match.

“What do we do?” Tony asked and stood up. “If we don’t let Morgan help her-” his voice trailed off.

“Then she’ll die,” she finished his sentence. “But are we going to subject our daughter to an intense procedure? I read about it, it can be incredibly painful.” Tony read about it too. It is why he prayed to whatever deity that would listen that he would be a match. Subjecting his youngest to that wasn’t ideal. But you were fighting cancer. “And you did say her medical team does have a plan B.”

“But it’s not a guarantee it will work,” he said, leaning the palms of his hands against her wooden desk. “So, what do we do?” He asked again.

“We talk with Y/n,” she answered, placing her hands on top of his. “Ultimately it’s her choice.” Your choice. Your choice and your life hung in the balance.

_

Taglist: @likemick, @averagetmblrusser, @@wandaromamoff69

[definitelynotshouting]

hello!! i have thoughts about the hunger au worldbuilding <3

okay so

will Grian ever have an encounter with the Watchers in the fic (you dont have to answer ofc)?? but if he did,, what would his reaction be???

are they looking for him? did they just let him leave??

because- like. from what i can remember they didnt have any malicious intent towards him?? like Watchers function on a completely different moral level so they didnt mean any harm they DID harm him, y'know? if that makes sense??

also! do they Watchers love him in the sense of like,, parent child love? or do they simply view him as their offspring TM

now that im typing this out i feel like this is all very spoilery ish so you probably wont be able to answer it, but!!! i had to try >:)

-🐛

Hey bug anon!!! Dw i can answer these, thanks for asking!! :D

The Watchers wont be showing up in the main fic-- although theres definitely room for them to appear in future oneshots!!! That being said, uhhh.... Grian would NOT have a good reaction to seeing them again. He's got a lot of trauma surrounding them-- thats like, hardcore panic attack breakdown territory if he ever had another encounter.

And the Watchers are looking for him, actually-- community is such a big part of Watcher culture that its anathema to them that he'd ever even want to leave in the first place, and they worry a lot for his safety (considering hes both an integral piece of restoring their population, and because to them, striking out on your own is synonymous with death). They've been looking for him for years now, though by the time the fic takes place, that's tapered off from any active searching. These days, they only look where their feeding happens to take them (many of their colony assume he's dead, but some still hold out hope despite everything).

They didnt let him leave. Grian spent YEARS carefully watching them, cataloging their habits, learning how both they and his new body worked, before making a rapid and desperate escape. But they also didnt hold any malicious intent! Like you said, they just have a completely different moral structure, and ultimately, they were just following their customs. Community values dictate they stick together, so Grian's mad run for freedom took them all terribly by surprise, and was ultimately what gave him the leverage to successfully escape

I think the way Watchers parse the concept of love is very different from ours-- i hesitate to say they loved Grian if only because i dont feel like they define that feeling the same way Players would or even how we do irl. But they did deeply care. Juveniles are highly valued and taken care of by the entire community-- although Grian had the mind of an adult, not a freshly hatched juvenile, so that did make a slight difference in how they viewed him. I think a more accurate way to look at how they felt about him is that of a mentors and mentee relationship, where they taught him how to survive as one of them, and fully incorporated him as a member into their colony. He was genuinely cared for; in my head, i liken them to a well-meaning but very controlling family (though not a nuclear one)

Thanks again for the ask, bug anon!! :D it was nice to get a chance to talk about this!! I definitely want to write the Watchers proper at some point, so who knows-- maybe in a future oneshot, they might appear. Whether thats a pre-canon fic or a future one...... well, who's to say >:]

[gaelic-symphony]

hi!! :)

i hope this isn't weird, but i love reading your posts about judaism to learn more from it. i don't follow any religion but i love getting to know them from people who do

and if you don't mind me asking, what are your favourite things about it? <3

i hope i have expressed myself well and you don't mind this 🫶🏼

I actually love this ask, and I'm so glad you sent it! There are so many things I love about Judaism, it would take me forever to come up with a list of them, but here are a few of my favorites:

I love our everyday rituals. I love keeping kosher and going to the kosher supermarket. I love that every time I eat or go grocery shopping, I'm affirming my connection to my people and my ancestors. I love that we have blessings for the most mundane human activities like washing our hands. I love ending every week with Shabbat. I love how it gives us a day to rest and reflect and be thankful before we start a new week, and I love having the weekly marker of Shabbat to track the passage of time. I love that you don't have to subscribe to any particular version of Jewish theology or believe that we do these things because Hashem commanded us in order to participate fully in these rituals. You can do them just because you find meaning in them. You can do them just because you're proud to be Jewish and follow the traditions of your ancestors.

I love our holidays. So many of them commemorate our survival against those who tried to wipe us out: Purim, Chanukah, Passover. Every year, we tell the story of our peoples' perseverance. We reflect on the strength and courage of generations of Jews before us that allowed our continued survival into the present day. Other holidays are seasonal markers of time. Tu B'Shvat is a little over a week away, and it's our "new year for trees," the time of year when the earliest trees start to bloom in the Land of Israel. Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur mark the end of the old year and beginning of a new one, and give us the chance to leave our mistakes of the past year behind and learn from them moving forward as we start fresh with a brand new year. Sukkot is a traditional celebration of the annual harvest. And other holidays, we're just so happy to be Jewish that we need to throw a party about it! Shavuot celebrates the Israelites receiving the Torah from Hashem at Mount Sinai, and then we celebrate the Torah again on Simchat Torah, when we read the very last verses of the book of Dvarim and start all over again with Bereshit.

I love our music. Our daily prayers are set to music, with special nusach (melodies) for Shabbat and holidays. When we read from the Torah or the books of the prophets, we chant the words to the same melodies our ancestors have done for centuries. We sing as a way to connect with each other and with Hashem. We sing the psalms of King David, and we sing wordless melodies we call niggunim. We've developed our own styles of secular, non-liturgical music and dance: klezmer and canciones, the horah and the Yemenite step, and many, many more!

I love our scholarship. Our scholarly tradition is one of questioning and arguing, neither of which are viewed negatively in Jewish tradition! We love to ask ourselves "what if" and "why," and the point isn't so much finding a singular answer as it is the process of engaging with the text. Does it really matter as a real-world issue whether there are any Pokemon that would be kosher to eat? Of course not! But that's exactly the type of thing we love to argue over, and if the ancient rabbinic sages like Hillel and Akiva and Rashi and Maimonides were alive today, I guarantee you they would have opinions on the matter.

I love our joy. There is so much joy that comes with being Jewish, a joy we feel just for being alive against all odds. Most of our prayers are not asking Hashem for the things we want, but thanking Hashem for the things we have. We have a brachah we say specifically to thank Hashem for the opportunity to fix what is broken in this world. Our history has rarely been a happy one, but we have always found reasons to rejoice. We danced and sang and celebrated our holidays and life events even in the Warsaw Ghetto. This past December, during one of the saddest, heaviest, and scariest times for our people since the Shoah, Jews all over the world celebrated Chanukah like we always do. In the midst of our mourning, we found joy. Literally and figuratively, we came together as a tribe to create light in the darkness.

[maknaeswrld]

They Don’t Know About Us | k.sm

glimpses of moments between lovers who can’t share their relationship with the world

wc: 1.4k

genre: secret relationship

cw: fem!idol reader; fluff; ‘angst’; secret relationship (but friends know); rooftops; the mildest mentions of making out; ‘mom’ is Readers group leader; originally a songfic which is why the flow may be weird; kind of all over the place honestly lol; lemme know if I missed anything :)

song inspo: They Don’t Know About Us - One Direction

“Is this going to end terribly? Dating isn’t exactly encouraged in our industry.” Y/n whispered. Seungmin smirked and pressed his forehead against yours.

“What people don’t know, won’t kill them, right?”

You giggled. “We’re gonna be in deep shit if they find out.”

“We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.” He pulled you into him and nudged his face into your neck.

You wrapped your arms around him and played with his hair.

“I love you.” You whispered, he stiffened in your arms and the breath knocked out of you as you waited for his response.

Seungmin propped his chin up on your chest, his eyes searching yours.

“Really?” He asked, seeming more shocked than upset.

You bit your lip but nodded. He grinned and kissed you. “I love you too, Y/l/n Y/n.”

“Promise?” You giggled in between kisses.

“Forever and always.” Seungmin whispered back.

“Didn’t know you were the cheesy romantic type, Kim Seungmin.” You grin and pull him down for another kiss. As things start getting more heated, an intruder clears their throat, making their presence known.

“First of all, you two are disgustingly cute, secondly, y’all are way too young to be talking forever, and last but not least, mom says breakfast is ready.” Noel, one of your members of your group, voices from the doorway, Eve right behind her, pretending to gag before rushing off to the kitchen.

You threw a pillow at her and told her you’d come down in a second.

“We’re gonna prove them all wrong one day.” Seungmin states as he gets up and places a kiss on your head before putting his shirt on and making his way out of your room to let you get dressed.

~•~

You, Seungmin, and both of your groups had been planning this specific evening for weeks. It was the Summer Solstice, which meant it was the longest day of the year and with that comes the most daylight of the entire summer.

It was a bit of a tradition to spend the solstice out enjoying the day, attending the festivals, but this was the first year your groups were being allowed to celebrate without a bunch of managers and bodyguards watching your every move. You still had a few, but not nearly as many as typical.

Yours and Seungmin’s groups were both signed under JYP Entertainment, so you were often seen all together, having been trainees around the same time and working on a lot of the same projects. The groups had merged and all become one friend group fairly early on, so it didn’t surprise anyone when your leaders had asked to spend the solstice all together.

You and Seungmin were in charge of packing up food and drinks to survive a whole day, which left sleepy Seungmin wrapping his arms around your waist and his face nuzzling into your neck as you made everyone’s lunches.

“We should tell them.” He mumbled against your skin.

“Tell who what?” You knew exactly who he was referring to and what about, but you also knew it was too early for this conversation and avoiding it sounded like a good option.

“Everyone. About us. The company, the public, I want the whole fucking world to know you’re my girl. Our friends know, and I’m thankful for that, but I don’t want anyone else thinking they have a chance with my girl.”

One thing you learned early on in your relationship is that a tired Seungmin is a truthful one. You smiled sadly, remembering how you’ve brought this same topic up but he’s always been too scared of the company’s reaction.

“We’ll talk about this when I’m not the only thing keeping you from taking a nap on the kitchen floor.”

~•~

You giggled as Seungmin grabbed your hand and pulled you into him after spinning you out. He grabbed your waist and grinned as his eyes met yours and your chests pressed together.

“Hi.” You whisper.

“Hi.” He whispers back.

The two of you had been taking a stroll on a mostly empty street when a sudden downpour of summer rain drenched you both. You ran down the street, laughing as you went, your clothes completely soaked through and your hair in wet strands.

Coming to a stop, you look around and notice the storm drove the few people littering the area away.

“It’s just you and me out here now.” Seungmin smiles, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Then that means there’s no witnesses and I can do this.” you lift yourself onto your tippy toes and kiss him hard.

His lips press against yours as he deepens the kiss, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you in closer to him. You loosely drape your arms over his shoulders and tangle your hands into his wet hair.

Finally pulling away for air, he presses his forehead against yours. “I love you so much, Y/n/n.”

“I love you more, Minnie.”

“Impossible.” He gives you a shiteating grin as he kisses your nose. “Last one to the dorms is a rotten egg.”

And with that, he took off at a full sprint down the street.

“You totally cheated!” You shout as you immediately follow suit, laughing as you chase after him.

~•~

A long day of non-stop practice, feeling like you just couldn’t get any of your parts or dances right, as well as anything else that could go wrong going wrong, lead to you wrapped up in a blanket laying down on the roof of the dorms, blankly staring at the neverending sky above you.

You distantly acknowledge the sound of traffic below you, and you could hear voices coming from the cracked door of the rooftop entry, but the door was so far you couldn’t hear the conversation and thought absolutely nothing of it until someone made their way up the wobbly stairs to your safe space.

“I already told you I just wanna be left alone for a while, I need some time to think.” You mumbled, not even looking up. You didn’t have to, you’d already told everyone that tried to come talk to you to shove off at least twice.

“Well that’s no way to welcome a guest of this household. What would thy mother say?” The comforting voice of your boyfriend sounded in the quiet air.

You sat up quickly to take in his appearance, he looked like shit.

Gasping, you shot up off the ground and made your way to him, gently pulling him into a hug trying not to let your tears flow.

“What happened to you, Min?” You asked softly against his chest.

He gingerly wrapped his arms around you and held you tighter, kissing the top of your head.

“I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.”

You had established early on in the relationship, when you were practically still friends with benefits, that you didn’t want to keep things from each other, and that the phrase could effectively end pretty much any argument or feud as it forces the two of you to just sit down and communicate.

You both spent the rest of the night curled up on the rooftop in a shared blanket, telling each other about your shitty days and promising to be there for each other next time, and that tomorrow would be better.

You both ended up falling asleep up there and got to wake up to a gorgeous sunrise over the cityscape.

As the sky painted from dark blue to a light orange, the two of you made your way inside and decided to make breakfast for your members before heading over to the boys dorms for the day.

Your girls were glad to see you both in better spirits than the previous evening.

“You two behave, you hear me. I don’t wanna be bailing anyone out today.” Your leader warned as she munched on some bacon.

“Yes ma’am.” Seungmin bowed before he put an arm around you and the two of you make your great escape.

The walk to the boys dorms from yours isn’t a long one, and you and Seungmin were in high spirits by the time they finally came into view.

Wandering in, Seungmin finally dropped his arm to grab drinks from the fridge.

“Aren’t you two chipper this morning,” Minho groans from his spot on the couch.

“Oh yeah. Full on balls of sunshine.” Seungmin winked at you as he passes you a drink, you grin as you clink yours against his, ready for a great day with some of your friends and the love of your life.

[bots-and-cons]

Hey, i saw your "Scarlet Witch!Reader" and it gives me an idea.

Imagine she heard the discussions from the Autobots (She's on Team Prime after all) about her chaos magic powers could lead to destructions and that she will turn mad with power (which is completely the opposite, she's stable enough as she can be and kind and generous) and they should "keep an eye of her" in case she'll go crazy and what how do we stop her (aka in need to keep on lock her up) which affects her more and made her feel more outcast from them as much she's outcast from society which depressed her more. One day, in a terrible battle between them and the Decepticons, she "sacrifice" to save them (either she did sacrifice herself but miraculously survived but find herself alone after battle because everyone believe she died with it or secretly gets away from them in complete isolation from everyone, both humans and Autobots, living in a cottage in a forest or something, helping saving her world in her own way)

How Team Prime will react of her "death" and their guilts ? Because Some bot *cough*Ratchet*cough* was immediately rather skeptical and unsure about her (but grew soft sport for her soon) which discusses his concerns to the Bots before her "death" (Can't honestly blame him because of Megatron but NOT EVERYONE end like him Ratchet 😒)

(P.S, you can add IF Team Prime's reactions IF they EVER heard that she's alive and learning WHY she left somewhere FAR away from them. would they want to reach her again or....?)

So the HCs you mentioned don't really play into this, but if anyone is interested they can be found here. I did HCs since those are always easier and I wanted to write this. You can also interpret this as a prequel to this post. This is a bit of a ramble tbh and I didn’t do all the bots, just some

•You know your powers can scare people sometimes, they sometimes even scare you, but you thought the autobots were different

•They never truly hated you or anything, but they were skeptical of your powers and how much control you had over them

•When you accidentally hit Bulk with a rock that you were aiming at a vehicon, it all started to go downhill

•Sometimes you would do things with more strength than you needed to, and broke something, but a lot of the bots interpreted that as you doing it on purpose

•You thought they wouldn’t shun you or want to imprison you, but apparently you had been wrong

•They were just like everyone else, thinking your powers would drive you to madness or make you evil somehow

•You tried to ignore the whispers at the base, the conversations that stopped when you entered the room, the way Ratchet kept an eye on you every time you were around the kids and the way Arcee kept glaring at you

•These things didn’t help any, because they just made you angry and when you got irritated, you had less control

•It ended up being a vicious cycle, that you couldn’t seem to get out of

•It was getting to be too much, you wanted to get away from the autobots, away from anyone who would treat you with prejudice because of your powers

•You’re a kind and caring person, but somehow your strength seemed to be the deciding factor in how others treated you, instead of your personality

•You decided you wanted to leave, but you didn’t know how you’d be able to

•The autobots kept a pretty keen eye on you all the time, so you would have to do something drastic

•You didn’t know what that was going to be until you got the chance to do it

•You were fighting with the autobots against the decepticons, and you saw your chance

•You could fake your death and get away, you wouldn’t be chained down again, by anyone

•When you disappeared from the battlefield, the autobots assumed you had been taken or that they just couldn’t find your body

•Of course there was no body to find, but they didn’t know that

•When Optimus brought the news back to the base that you were gone, Ratchet sort of scoffed

•The type of “I told you so” scoff, that he used pretty often

•There was a lot of conversation at the base afterwards about if you were really dead and even if you weren’t maybe it was better you were gone

•Arcee was probably the most outspoken about her feelings about it being good that you weren’t at the base anymore

•She got a few surprised looks, but no one disagreed with her

•Bee and Smokescreen sort of fell victim to their seniors’ bias but neither of them hated you or anything

•Optimus was left with a lot of guilt after your “death”, even though he wanted to protect others from you, he wanted to protect you too

•He knew you weren’t a bad person, but he had seen what too much power can do to someone

•Maybe they were all too quick to judge, but they couldn’t do anything about it now, you were gone

•Arcee was always primarily worried about the trouble trio around you, because she had seen you literally rip vehicons apart when you needed to

•She was worried that if one of the kids angered you, you might hurt them

•Ratchet kept his “I told you so” attitude for a while after your “death”, but he eventually came to feel very guilty about how he had treated you during your last months with the team

[justplainwhump]

Hope

A little follow up to Noor's last scene, before I move on.

Noor learns new truths.

Content: BBU, very early recovery, conditioned whumpee offering sex to caretaker (turned down)

The woman who'd guided him into the red car with him was still there. Rather tall, about Noor's own height, slim build but notable muscles around shoulders and arms. There was a slightly dangerous air around her, even when she smiled. It made him nervous.

She'd talked to the driver, quietly, quickly, in a language he didn't understand, and all he knew is that she was angry, and quite a bit worried.

She had fallen quiet now, looked back at him from the passenger seat, dark honey eyes taking him in.

"I can," he assured her softly, without her having asked for it. There was only one thing anyone wanted of him, anyway. "I am specifically trained to please men, but my skills are surely sufficient to give you a good time, too. Maybe together with your partner?" Noor tilted his head toward the driver, a bulky man with a constant frown on an otherwise soft face. The type Noor liked most. He could almost feel these arms around him, this mouth hot on his skin. "I'm sure I can help him unwind." His voice had dropped to a seductive whisper, just the way he'd been taught. Just the way that always worked.

Not now.

The man glanced into the rear view mirror. Deep, dark eyes. Noor bit his lip and smiled. "It wouldn't make me unwind," the man said plainly. His voice resonated deep within Noor's body. "It would make me very uncomfortable."

Noor let out a small laugh, soft and airy, the way that could hide the deep confusion underneath. He'd never been turned down by another man. And now, the second time within one night. The handler in the house hadn't had enough time, Noor could understand that, even though a quick fuck like that could've been over in less than five minutes. This man here, though, could have all the time in the world with Noor.

Maybe he was straight? But many of his clients were, or claimed to be, and they still fucked him all the same. "I can be whatever you want. I can make your wildest dreams come true."

Noor eased himself back in the seat and ran a hand through his long hair, brushing it over his shoulder, as he searched for the other man's gaze in the mirror, eyes slightly veiled behind his long lashes.

It didn't work. The man just focused back on the street. "We can't take him to the safe house yet," he said to the woman. "They're at their limit already with the rescues from the last job. I don't think they can handle this one. He'll be a problem around men."

"Men don't have any problems with me," Noor purred and pushed up his body on the back seat, desperately wishing for another body to settle down close to his. "On the contrary. I make them forget any of their problems."

They wouldn't throw him out, surely, he hoped. He wouldn't need to be alone and on the run tonight. He couldn't.

"You're right. I'll take him," the woman said flatly.

Noor covered his sudden disappointment with a renewed smile. It didn't sound nice. It didn't sound like she wanted him at all. But he needed to be wanted. He was made to be wanted. All the clients, at WRU, and at the shady walking house downtown, they had wanted him. He lived, he'd survived, because he'd been wanted.

He stared at the car door next to him. The nightly city was rushing past in streaks of light in front of darkness. He thought about his chances. He'd get hurt, rolling himself out. They'd find him again. If not them - why should they, if neither of them wanted him? - then the handlers from the raid. This time, he might not be able to run. But it was his only chance. To find someone who actually wanted-

"Hey." A hand rested on his forearm. The woman had turned on her seat entirely to face him. Her hand was warm. "I'm Marta," she said. "What can I call you?"

Her touch made him shiver. Her skin was warm, a little sweaty maybe, in the damp heat of the summer night. Noor didn't mind.

"Noor," he said softly. "It means light."

Marta smiled. "Okay, Noor. You don't need to be afraid."

He wasn't, he thought. There was only one thing he feared, and that was white and monotonous and cold.

She looked at the door handle knowingly. "Or whatever the feeling is that makes you leave. You're allowed to leave, Noor. You can just tell us, and we'll drop you anywhere. We don't want to own you."

He blinked once, before he laughed again, in the inviting way that he was so good at, hoping to find an unsuspicious reply. He couldn't. It didn't make sense. He didn't want to be owned, but neither did he want not to told what to do. He didn't want to stay with them, if they didn't want him, but he didn't want to be alone, either. There was no place he could go. No place he'd even understand.

"You can come with me, I'll set you up with a bed, and I'll buy you a pizza. And we'll talk about finding a place for you."

Was he so easy to read? Noor had always prided himself for his skills at understanding what his clients desired. But he'd never thought someone would even bother trying to understand what was going on inside of him.

A place for you.

A place for Noor, for himself.

The words made him feel warm.

"But you don't want me," he whispered.

"I don't want you," Marta repeated slowly. "As in, I don't want your body, or your service. But I want something for you."

"What?"

"A life," she said.

This time, Noor didn't laugh.

He just fell silent, when she sat back in her seat and faced forward, and the man steered through the dark side alleys of a nice neighbourhood Noor had never seen.

Both of them said nothing. And in return, Noor. didn't touch the door again.

He spun the words in his head.

A life. A place for you.

It made no sense.

But in the most beautiful way.

"I'd like that," he whispered eventually, so quiet the people wouldn't hear him over the noises of the car.

It didn't matter. He'd said it to himself, anyways. And to his surprise, it felt like the truth.

-

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[lrgcarter]

So, lots to say about the Cass review, all of which is being said by people more qualified than me.

However, there was one thing I wanted to raise. It's the least of the review's problems in the grand scheme of things, but it has sparked a new Bigot Behaviour you might want to content screen for.

The Cass review says that while some gender is learnt socially, some of it is genetic. Apparently this includes the sort of toys kids play with.

I have seen this lead to multiple bigots linking to a news piece about some chimps who were given toys to play with. Apparently the male chimps enjoyed playing with trucks and the female chimps enjoyed playing with soft toys/dolls.

My disability means I haven't yet had a chance to follow the news piece links to the actual source. But even the news piece quotes the toy givers as saying something akin to 'This doesn't show male chimps are instinctively drawn to trucks. Maybe they preferred the colours or moving parts. Maybe the female chimps just really liked the colour or textures of the soft toys' [paraphrased].

The bigots, however, have pointed past this and said "See! Boys like masculine trucks and girls like feminine dolls!! Cause of their male slash female genes!!!It's just science!!!!"

Now, I know you can all see this is absolute crap. Evolutionary psychology always is.

But I want to highlight three points that I need to get out of my brain before it explodes.

1) I'm a big believer in the principle that palaeoarchaeologists don't have "The Earliest" anything. Earliest fossil showing X feature? Earliest tool of a particular type? No, whichever one we have found, there will be some earlier one that didn't survive or we haven't found yet. Time-Resolution is just hazy like that.

At the same time.

I'm going out on a limb to contradict this principle by saying …

The most recent common ancestor of humans and chimps did not have trucks. I really don't believe we'll be finding evidence that trucks had been invented at that point of time.

Therefore, chimps and humans can't share a "Boys play with trucks" gene from this common ancestor. Even if it existed (which it doesn't) it would at best be a case of convergent evolution.

2) Even if there is gendered play in chimp kids (which is perfectly possible but I suspect is more complicated than "boys like trucks")

Even if there is gendered play in chimp kids, that doesn't mean it's proof of genetic as opposed to socially taught behaviour, because,

get this …

Chimps also learn through social taught behaviour! Loads of animals do!! Different ape species are known to have different social rules!!! So it still doesn't prove there's a "Boys like trucks" gene.

and 3)

3)

And I can't stress this enough …

Humans are not chimps!!!!!

Like, fuck me, a really key point of evolution is that biological features change over time. That's a really basic part of it. So, even if our common ancestor with chimps did have this "boys like trucks" gene, there is no reason to assume we've still got it.

Like, seriously, we're in Jordan Peterson Lobsters Are The Platonic Society territory here.

With these three points, I've given this Bigot Behaviour waaaay more credit than it deserves. As I say, I just needed this out of my brain.

I realise I've only scratched the surface here. And I admit I might be misrepresenting the original research, having only read a piece of press coverage. I'm hoping to do a bit more research into this once I'm in a healthier state.

I also realise that my own phrasing above is sloppy and facetious. I'm venting, not polishing a scholarly essay. Once I've read up on the actual research, I will have more cogent things to say.

But,

At the same time, I realise I'm already falling into the trap of spending too much time arguing something that the bigots said in seconds and that they don't actually care about.

But some people might genuinely be swayed by the idea of monkey science and what it says about us as humans.

Please don't fall for it. It's just not how anything works.