#<- going to see if i can organize something but god i am so pissed off right now like

[daydreams-after-dark]

Hi love >_<!! How are you???

Because it's almost my birthday. (just 15 days !) Could you maybe write something for my birthday? :> I am requesting it very early because I'm so busy with my own life, including my mental health, so I won't be online often ( ꩜ ᯅ ꩜)  ( 1 am totally okay, tho!! So don't worry about me!) You can post it before or after my birthday. I don't really mind when!

Something about birthday sex mixed with slight angst if you don't mind?? (Pure smut is totally okay!) Make it filthy and add whatever you want, as I already said once; I'm open for everything!! (I'm a slut ngl..)

P.s. I'm into piss lately..shhh

- lots of love 🎪

pairing: male escort!lino x fem birthday girl reader (I hope it's okay that I have chosen Lino for this?)

Your friends pay for a sex worker for your birthday, but what happens when arrives and you already know each other?

A/n: Hey Happy Birthday 🎪 my love. I hope you are well and taking care of yourself 😘 Tending to real life and mental health is extremely important.

I hope that my little scenario is okay, I am struggling with writing lately. The ideas are there, but the execution is not as good as I want it to be.

warnings below the cut

CW: Piss Kink (f on m), breeding kink, unprotected p in v (pls be safe), restraints, paid sex, birthday sex, oral sex, vaginal fingering.

You’re not really sure why you decided to dial the number on the gift card your best friends gave you. Really? Why of all the presents they could have chosen, did they think it appropriate to gift you a male escort/gigalo? One who does home visits at that?

Yep! They knew you hadn’t had sex in almost a year, and they knew you really needed to get laid.

You’d never paid for sex before. Technically, you’re not paying for sex in this instance either, your friends have. But still. What are you thinking? Letting a stranger come in and do things to you.

The doorbell chimes and you let out a shaky breath. “Happy Birthday, Bitch!” You wink at yourself in the mirror and take one last look over your body. You’d shaved your legs, popped on a little thong, and slipped a short satin dress on. No bra. Fuck! You sigh. It’s basically a short satin camisole nightie. Will this be okay?

The doorbell chimes again and you hurry to open the door to your apartment.

“Lino?” You gasp in surprise when you see your brother’s best friend standing in your doorway and not the escort. You squint your eyes. It is him isn’t it? You haven’t seen him in five years. But it has to be him.

“Y/n? Noona?” He smiles and takes a good look at your face. “Um… I…ah…must have the wrong address.” He begins nervously. “Let me just check where I’m supposed to be.” He whips out his phone. “Unit 4, 70…”

“Yep. That’s this address.” You say awkwardly.

You stare at each other for a moment as realisation hits.

“You booked an escort?”

“You’re the escort?”

Lino laughs while you hide your face in your hands “Fuck! This is so embarrassing.” You wail.

“So you did hire an escort. Well then... Do you want me to come in? Leave? You’re the client. It’s your call.”

“My friends organized it. They think…” you trail off.

So many questions run through your mind. Why is Lino an escort? And dear god, what if he tells your brother about this? Is Lino actually going to fuck you? No! That’s probably very unlikely. But he is extremely attractive… and he is paid for… You bite your lip.

“So? What’s it going to be?”

“Hmm?” Your thought are broken.

“Shall I stay, or leave?” He repeats.

——

You couldn’t turn him away, that would have been rude right? So you brought him in, offered him a drink and snack and invited him to sit on the couch with you.

Now you’re half an hour into a conversation about what you had both been doing for the past few years. You learned that being a gigalo… sorry, escort, is Lino’s side hustle while he brings to life his big dream of opening a restaurant-slash-dance entertainment establishment.

“Like a strip club?” You raise an eyebrow.

He rolls his eyes. “No, not a strip club. It’s going to be for all ages.”

He learned about you too. What you do for a living, your bad breakup a year ago, how it’s your birthday and your friends organized this as a gift.

He unzips his black backpack that you hadn’t even realized he had with him, and retrieves a tablet.

“Alright, let’s see what you have booked.” He opens an app and smirks as he skims over the details.

“Wait! What are you reading?” You try to catch a glimpse of the screen but he pulls it away.

“I don’t know what my friends told you…” you tug your hair wishing you were invisible.

"it says here: vanilla sex." He turns the tablet to show you.

Your mouth hangs open in shock. "Those fucking bitches think I want vanilla sex?" You shriek. "Or was that the cheapest option?" you pout.

Lino laughs haughtily. "Hey, don't shoot the messenger. Or orgasm giver. What is it I've read on Instagram - 'don't bite the hand that fingers you?'"

"Give it here." You snatch the device from him. "Am I suppose to sign something? Tick some boxes? Consent to some shit?" You scroll the screen.

"The next tab over." Lino leans over your shoulder. "Yep. Right there." He pokes his tongue out of his mouth slightly as his eyes catch some of the "inclusions" that can be selected.

In your desire to prove your friends wrong, and that you don’t want just vanilla sex, you hastily tick every single box on the form and sign the bottom. "There! Surprise me! It is my birthday afterall." you huffed.

Lino raises an eyebrow. Then suddenly he pulls you by an arm and a leg forcing you to straddle him. You yelp in surprise, but it’s quickly replaced with a sigh, and you really hope he didn’t notice.

His face is awfully close to yours and you can already feel yourself growing wet with anticipation. Are you really about to be fucked by your little brother’s best friend? The one that used to have sleepovers at your house. The one that used to wear cat print pyjamas?

“Do you even know what you signed up for?” He whispers eyeing you up and down and swallowing hard.

“I said surprise me.” You gulp.

His hands run up your thighs. “Is this thing expensive?” He asks gently tugging at the hem of your black satin dress.

You shake your head.

“Good.” He growls as he tears the garment from your body. Your hands fly up to cover your exposed breasts, but he tugs them away roughly. “I used to wonder what your tits looked like. Fuck! They’re perfect.” He sighs and takes a nipple into his mouth. You gasp and throw your head back. You grind against his crotch, and you notice he has hardened in his jeans.

“Wanna know a secret?” He says as he pops off your nipple and licks it. “I used to get hard when you’d walk around your house braless.” He bites down your nipple making you cry out. “Sometimes,” he begins to pepper kisses across your chest towards your other nipple. “You’d show me your nipples through your shirt. They’d get so hard, poking against the fabric. I’d have to go jack off. That’s how hot I thought you were.”

“Were?” You raise an eyebrow.

"Were. Are. Always will be." He locks eyes on you and you feel the tension in the air thicken.

"Are you really going to fuck me, Lino?" you whisper quietly.

"I'm going to make this a night you're never going to forget." He replies huskily.

"You didn't answer my question." You smirk, threading your fingers through his dark locks.

He holds onto your ass as he slips off the couch to lay you down onto your soft fluffy rug in the middle of your living room.

Leaning over you, propped up on one arm and cupping your cheek with the other, he leans down and captures your mouth in a kiss. The gentleness is unexpected, but it isn't long until he is kissing you more purposefully. His tongue glides over yours making you hum into his mouth. He moans at that, deepening the kiss even further, like he wants to possess you.

You hold on for dear life as he presses his strong thigh between your legs, nudging them open so he can press hard against your core. Your back bows off the floor and you whimper. Fuck, you must sound so desperate. But it has been so long since you had anyone, besides yourself, has touched you.

He presses his thigh against you again and chuckles when you respond with another moan. "Such pretty noises, Noona." He smiles against your cheek. "If I were to touch your pussy, I bet it would be soaking." He leans up and looks at you. "I'm dying to know."

He looks around the living room, seemingly making some kind of assessment, and then he's back into his backpack. You lean up on your arms to see him with a velvet-like rope in his hands. Your cunt clenches and an excitement swirls around your stomach.

"Lay back down." He instructs, and then he's tying your wrists together with the soft rope. He positions your arms above your head and secures the ropes to the leg of your chunky timber coffee table.

But that's not all. Lino is back with more ropes, this time tying one around each of your legs. He manages to position you in such a way that he can secure the other end of the ropes to the little wooden legs of your couch, forcing you to be spread open for him.

You feel so exposed and so utterly vulnerable, even with your tiny thong on. But even that doesn't stay on for long, as Lino cuts it off with scissors.

He sits back on his heels between your legs and takes you in. "That's better. You won't be able to squirm away. Now I can get a good look at your pussy." He bites his lip and runs his hands up the inside of your thighs. You shiver at his touch, not sure how you're going to last. You're on the verge of an orgasm as it is.

"So fucking wet, Noona." He states as he spreads your folds gently and runs his thumb through your arousal. He slides a finger into your tightness, then a second. "Tight too. It's been a while, hmm?" He teases.

"Unfortunately, yes." You cry.

"Let's take care of you then." He promises and without warning begins to finger fuck you hard, fast, and angled directly into your g-spot.

"No! Lino! Not yet...can't come yet!" You beg.

"Oh Kitten, you are gonna come when I say, and as many times as I say."

He's relentless with his fingers. You can't squirm away, forced to take what he is giving you. You're cunt is already producing the most lewd sounds you've ever heard. How can you possibly be this wet? How can Lino be so good at this? Your eyes roll back as you give in, accepting the pleasure. The tightness inside of you ready to burst. "Oh god... fuck..." you pant. Your chest feels flush and you know your face is turning a slight shade of pink as you edge closer to release.

"That's it... come all over my fingers." He coaxes.

You come hard, your back lifting off the floor, your thighs trembling, and tears threatening to spill from your eyes.

You collapse, panting. "Lino," you say as your try to catch your breath. "So good...so fucking good. How are you this good?" You sob.

"Shhh. It's okay. Here. Suck these." he lays beside you and pushes his glistening fingers into your mouth. You've never really had anyone shove their fingers into your mouth before, but it feels so erotic. You moan as you taste yourself on him, urging him to push his fingers deeper into your mouth. You make a pathetic sound when he goes to pull them away, so he lets you suck and lightly choke on them a little longer.

"If that's how you suck my fingers, my cock's not going to stand a chance." he says with a half smile. Your eyes snap open and you stare at him with pleading eyes.

"Oh you wanna suck it do you?" he pulls his fingers out of your mouth.

You nod. "Please! Let me..."

He sucks in a breath. "Well, I can't say no to the birthday girl. Or client. Especially when they selected everything under the sun on their terms of agreement. Including, golden showers."

"Wait! What?" You lift your head, horrified. Minho looks at you incredulously, as he strips his clothes off. You are stunned. Partially because you didn't even know that was on the list, and also because Lino naked is the most beautiful thing you have ever laid eyes on.

"It's okay. You don't have to do anything you don't want." He says as pumps his delicious looking cock a few times. He seems to be hard as stone and leaking. He's leaking for you? Fuck.

You don't have time to even think more about the piss option, as Lino positions himself so you are in 69 position. You open your mouth wide, allowing him to sink his cock into your eager mouth, while at the same time he buries his face in your pussy. You moan around his thickness as he demonstrates just how skilled he is with his mouth.

He eats you out like a starved man. Lapping at you eagerly. You try to grind against his face, but he holds you firm so you can't move. He groans against you, making you whimper around his cock. It's a delicious cycle, each of your sounds and vibrations from your mouths, making the other respond in the same way. Lino starts to thrust into your mouth, his balls hitting you in the face each time. You want him to suffocate you, and you wish your hands were free so you could pull him in deeper.

All you can do is try to meet his thrusts by lifting your head as much as you can and hope he gets the message. He does get the message, and fucks your face as he slides several fingers into your cunt. He slurps on your clit and hits that sweet spot inside you, all while you're struggling for air.

It's too much and you come again. This time harder than before. He works you through it, slowing both his cock and fingers down to a slow pace. He eventually peels himself off you and sits beside you panting.

"Lino?" You whimper looking at his disheveled hair, and drenched chin. "Didn't you want to come down my throat?" you panted.

"I wasn't sure if you wanted me to?" he says shyly. He unties you from your restraints and you sit up and give him a devious look.

"What?" he looks back at you suspiciously.

"When you used to jack off because of me, what did you think about?"

"Oh, right. That?" he lays down on the rug beside you. "Well." he pauses to think. "I often imagined you riding me. Like... You couldn't contain your urges, so you'd find me in your brother's room and push me down and force me to breed you." He admits.

"In my brother's room?"

"Yah! He wouldn't be there in the fantasies." He growled. But you were already moving into position.

"So... you mean I'd climb over you like this?" You throw a leg over him hovering over his needy cock.

He nods and swallows hard.

"Then what? I sink down onto your thick, hard cock, because I need it so badly?'

"Y-yes. Wait!" His eyes flick open in horror. "Condom."

You lean down over him and kiss him on the mouth. You really don't know where this confidence is coming from. Maybe learning that Minho had it bad for you when he was younger makes you feel powerful.

"Oh, but Lino. How are you gonna breed me if we use a condom?" you whisper.

"Fuck!" He moans and pulls you down hard over his length until he is completely inside of you.

"What are you doing to me, Noona?" He whimpers as you start to roll your hips. He's so deep, and fills you so perfectly, and you can already feel your third orgasm building.

Lino's hands are all over you, caressing, squeezing, digging his fingers in. Eventually his hands find purchase on your hips, digging his fingers in hard enough to bruise as he rocks you hard on his cock. Your clit grinds perfectly against his body. It's rough, fast, slippery from your slick. He slaps your ass a few times and growls when your flesh jiggles.

"I'm close." You squeak.

"Fuck! Me too. Me too. Piss on me." He pants.

"What?" You cry, but you don't slow down. You need to come so bad that nothing is going to slow you down.

"Do it." he cries. "Hurry!"

Fuck! Really? He really wants you to? Can you even do it? You aren't sure that you're body will even let you, even if you wanted to.

"Do it now, Noona. I'll give you all my cum if you do." He sounds so desperate underneath you, that you close your eyes and let go.

You feel a warmth pool on his pelvis between your legs. You dare yourself to open your eyes. You peek through your lashes to see Lino with the most aroused expression you have ever seen in your life. Then he starts fucking into you. Painfully hard. The breath knocked from your lungs with each thrust. You feel him grow even hard inside you as he is on the verge from exploding, and it sets r you orgasm.

You clamp down hard around him like a vice. He cries out, filling you to the brim with his cum, just like he promised he would.

Your orgasms are intense, long, satisfying.

You flop down on top of him, allowing your heart to calm and your breath to return to normal.

"Lino. I hope there was an inclusion where you clean up and replace damaged items in your terms of service. Cos this rug is well and truly fucked."

"I'll take care of it." He hums.

"Lino?"

"Hmm?" he wraps his arms around you.

"This was the best birthday present ever."

"You're very welcome." He smiles to himself, but you don't see it because your face is on his chest.

“Happy birthday, Noona.”

————

A/n: I feel like Lino breached several rules as an escort… unsafe sex, knowing the client, having had a crush on the client in the past… but this is how the story turned out… so…. 🥴

@channieandhisgoonsquad @noellllslut @itsseohannbin @weareapackofstrays @3rachasdomesticbanana @palindrome969 @xxkissesforchanniexx @chuuchuu1224 @fun-fanfics @rhonnie23 @jisunglyricist @strayywayy @armystay89 @igetcarriedawaywithyou @mylittleponeypinkrosieposie @kyunchoni @justforreaders @melochacco @scenuniverse @oddracha @ismokeeweed @galaxycatdrawz @jiminssluttyminx @teddy-stay @lunearta

[thew4nder3r]

I don't know why but i just think about Miguel with a latina girlfriend but not just any latina. A mexican girl. And a lil something about us mexican girl is that we only take shit from two men. Our fathers and god. No else. 💁🏽‍♀️

He hates how much of a chokehold you have on him.

i mean, he's the leader of the whole ass spider organization but the second he sees you mumbling in spanish oh god this man's never experienced this much fear.

one day, he had sent you on a mission to another universe and you came back soaked in rain and pissed off.

"How was it- oh shit." He quickly shut up when he saw your angry face.

"oh it went amazing." You yank your mask off and throw it to god knows where.

"Miguel i swear to fucking god the next time you send me on a mission and i come back soaking wet i WILL SNAP YOUR NECK." he knew you didn't mean it but the way you got in his face and on the tips of your toes as you yelled made his body tense.

"Su puta madre me voy a regresar a mi universo y quedarme con mi papá por que con una CHINGADA YA ME HARTE DE ANDAR PERSIGUIENDO PINCHES GENTE POR CIUDADES QUE NI CONOZCO!" You screamed and ranted about how much you hated chasing people around 24/7. "Tiene hambre mi chiquita?" God that nickname it made you melt.

"yea...very hungry." You stand up from the couch, grabbing your hair and pushing it behind you.

"I made soup." "Congrats. You didn't burn the house down." You joke and he playfully pushes your shoulder.

"How was the mission?" He asked, sitting next to you. "You were gone for a while."

you sigh. "It was okay, supongo. We caught who we needed to catch but then the rain started pouring and now i look like a soaked cat."

he grabs your hair, pulling it into a low ponytail. "So it doesn't irritate mi princesa."

How does he do this? Every time you're in a bad mood, he always makes you feel better. "Thanks." You smile. "Am i crazy or is your skin darker than last week?" You laugh. "Don't you like my skin? Or would you prefer a blonde chic who can't go outside without getting a sunburn?" You smirk at him. He comes closer to you, kissing your jawline. "I like your skin like this. Mi morenita~" you giggle. You lean in to kiss his lips but stop only an inch away from him. "I missed you..."

He HATES how everyone makes fun of him.

Lyla always tells him how "he's the boss but she's the mastermind."

One time, Hobby had gotten on his nerves and he had started to go off on him until he felt your hand on his shoulder.

"miguel. No seas grosero." Everyone went silent. Expecting Miguel to start fuming. How DARE anyone tell him what to do?!

"Fine." Everyone was so confused. "Did she?" "Yep."

"what the hell are all of you looking at?! GET OUT!!" Ahh there he is.

Once everyone had left, he pressed his body against yours and hid his face in your neck. "God i hate that kid." You laughed at how exhausted he sounded.

okay. Now we're getting into the smut part of it. So yea. 🧍‍♀️💦

God this man.

he's fucking animalistic.

"Hmm yea you like this don't you? Ohh yea cum for papi. Cum on papi's dick."

woof woof bark 😫💦

he likes when you're a brat but he'll never admit it.

"Maldita niña malcriada. What would your father think, hmm? Seeing your boyfriend fuck the brat outta you?"

He'll wrap his hand around your neck and push you deeper into the pillows of your shared bed.

He looks all high and mighty but he will melt the moment you push him down onto his chair and straddle his lap.

"Ohh yea. Muy bien chiquita." He's got a firm grip on your hips as he stares at the place where your bodies met.

he loved seeing how face contort in please. Your wavy dark hair cascading down your shoulders as you bounced on his dick.

"You like bouncing on my dick, corazón? Yea yea you do, pretty girl. Keep bouncing just like that." His praises made you clench around him causing him to let out a whimper.

this man can eat me for breakfast lunch and dinner 😘

[throneofsapphics]

plsss write more rowaelin x reader!! literally anything i’m obsessed with your writing <333 would love some hurt/comfort

nothing

Rowaelin x f!Reader

Summary: "A gilded cage is still a cage, the nasty part of my mind echoed, but I let the thought drift away and disappear - melting into them instead. For now, it was easier to give into the comfort. I can let the harder parts come later."

Warnings: angst, emotional hurt, comfort

Word Count: ~1.5k

A/N: ahh thank you so much for the request I loved writing it, this took a more emotional hurt turn but if you had something different in mind please let me know!

“You’d be nothing without us.” 

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. The words echoed in my head like a horrible melody. I saw her parted lips and wide eyes. Regret. It’s too late, the words left her lips. There’s no taking back something like that. Even if there was, my pride wouldn’t let her. It doesn’t matter whether she’s right or wrong. What’s done is done. Over. 

“Thank you for telling me how you really feel,” I said, with an edge to my voice and narrowed eyes. A tone I’ve never taken with her before, and I can tell it shocks her - good. I wanted something to hurt, to hurt the way she’s hurt me. Still, tears threatened to prick the corner of my eyes, to give away how vulnerable I felt, how five words tore me open. Never let them see you cry, my mother’s words echoed in my ears as I turned away. 

There’s that part of me that wants her to call after, to say my name, to run to me, but she doesn’t. I can’t tell if that makes it better or worse. 

My feet traveled the well worn path, out the side gate, down the cobblestone streets, all the way to my small apartment and I started packing, throwing things into piles before realizing I don’t have any boxes. That I don’t have most of my things - there all there. The one place I won’t go back to, that I refuse to go back to. 

Maybe she’s right, maybe I am nothing without them, but that doesn’t mean I can’t become something. My life revolved around them for the last year. Is it freedom? I don’t know. I don’t want to know now. No tears, I tell myself, and repeat it in my head until the words don’t make sense anymore, until they cease to exist. 

-

A few hours later, after I’d found some boxes and started packing things away, Rowan showed up. He didn’t bother knocking, just let himself in. “This is it then. You’re running.” The last person I want to see shows up on my doorstep. “Don’t ignore me.” He said after an uncomfortable silence. 

“Is the great Rowan Whitethorn begging?” My back stays turned to him, I can’t look at him - if I do I might give in. I might let those tears I’ve been barely holding back fall. 

“Is that what you want?” The coldness in his voice made me want to cry. I never heard it used towards me. 

“What did she tell you?” I asked instead. 

“That you’re running away.” 

I finally turned, looking at the clock, anywhere but at him. His scent still flooded the room, pine and snow. His presence even more. No matter where he went, he took up space. Almost overwhelmingly. “So she missed the ‘You’d be nothing without us,’ part then.” 

Silence, I didn’t need Fae senses to feel his anger bubbling beneath his skin. “Look at me so I know you’re not lying.” My eyes snapped to his on instinct. Gods, that’s the worst thing I could’ve done. I can’t tell who his anger is directed to. His head tilted every so slightly, like he could see right through me into every dark thought, every bit of anger and resentment. “What did you say to her?” Oh so that’s what he wanted to know. To flip the story on me, to make me the villain. 

“Does it matter?” I snapped. 

“Yes.” The simple answer pissed me off even more. I snorted and rolled my eyes, knowing my indifference would be louder than any words I could’ve said. I turned my back again and re-stacked dishes I had already sorted and organized. Soft, nearly silent footsteps sounded across the room before a hand squeezed my shoulder, fingertips squeezing just enough to know he expected an answer. 

Expectations. A year of living by what they want, of chasing their dreams for me. Like always with him, the words flooded out. “I told her I wanted to expand my business, to start more crafts, go to more markets, to travel further out. She asked why, why I needed to and why Orynth wasn’t enough.” I press my elbows against the cold tile, cradling my forehead in my hands. His hand didn't leave, but his thumb rubbed gentle circles into my shoulder. “When she asked why I said I was tired of living in your shadows and I think it came out wrong. I meant it, but not in a harsh way.” I felt his body stiffen but the gentle movements did not stop. “People only buy from me because of you, because I’m connected to you.” My elbows dig harsher into the cold tile, hard enough I know there will be red marks on them. I sensed he’s about to say something and whirled back around, swatting his hand away. 

“That’s not true.” The smallest movement in his temple, almost imperceptible if I didn’t know better. He lied. 

“Don’t lie to me.” I snarled, and his eyes narrowed. 

“What’s my tell?” He tried to deflect. 

“Say what you’re really thinking.” I gritted my teeth. His jaw clenched slightly. 

“People… enjoy the novelty of buying from someone connected to the crown. That doesn’t make your work any less impressive.” At least he didn’t lie again. The Crown. Not the Queen and King, the Crown. I pressed my lips together in a tight line, is it possible to separate the two of them? 

“I want to be something.” I tried to explain as my pitch rose and I waved my hands, quickly approaching hysterics. Everything seemed to be getting to me, all of the thoughts I’ve been suppressing crashed down on me. He grabs them, holding them gently. The rough calluses brush against my skin. He takes a few deep breaths, and I copied him, my body reacted without conscious thought. 

“You are something. You’re everything to us.” 

“That’s not what I mean.” I huffed, but at least he’s trying. At least he said something. 

“You can be something here. You don’t need to leave Orynth to do it.” 

My eyes shuttered closed. He didn’t understand, he couldn’t. This was all foreign to him. Rowan was a legend before he became King, before he met Aelin. 

“I can stay here.” I started, and sensed a bit of tension leaving him - too bad I'm about to undo all of that, “but travel to other places - where nobody will know my face or who I am.” 

“It’s not safe.” 

I groaned. I knew that would be his answer, it always came back to my safety. To their peace of mind.

-

As soon as I saw her, and the broken look on her face at the boxes, the floodgate broke and the tears came loose. Along with the sobs that wrecked my body. She crossed the room in seconds, arms circling around me and I held onto her like a lifeline - like she’s the one thing anchoring me to this reality. She came, she came after me. Not from Rowan urging her, not from someone telling her to - she came on her own. For me. Swallowed her pride. 

“I didn’t mean it.” Her face buried into my shoulder, “not like that.” Her words still echoed in my mind, nothing, nothing, nothing, but I shoved them away for now. Not now, not when she’s being vulnerable - apologizing for once. 

“I love you,” she whispered into my shoulder and I froze. She’s never said the words before, she’s shown it - but never said them. Was this a ploy to keep me here, to try and sweeten the blow with words that don’t mean anything to her? But Aelin wasn’t like that, she might scheme and plan, but she wouldn’t lie about this. At least I didn’t think she would. “You don’t need to say it back, I just need you to know.” The truth, I decided - it has to be the truth. If it isn’t, I’d trick myself into believing it. 

I felt Rowan’s warm body pressed behind me, caging me between their arms. A gilded cage is still a cage, the nasty part of my mind echoed, but I let the thought drift away and disappear - melting into them instead. For now, it was easier to give into the comfort. I can let the harder parts come later. Aelin guided me over to the couch, letting me curl into her side as she whispered sweet nothings into my ear, her hand stroking my hair in the way that made me melt as Rowan started unpacking the boxes. Before I knew it I was back in the castle with them. Back in our rooms. Rooms with my touch, with my books, with the potted plant I barely keep alive and the soft blanket I brought from my home village. 

There would be more arguments, more protests and compromises - but we would figure it out. We always do.

[gourmet-trash]

when my Real World Responsibilities chill the fuck out i would actually really like to write some of this properly, but i am just. i can't remember what blog it was on but someone talking about astarion NOT ascending but when gale DOES and i am.

hear me out, okay. fuck the actual canon of when that happens and that it's more realistic, even inevitable, that godhood would Fuck A Person Up, Actually. instead, imagine if you would, after getting (somewhat) over feeling understandably betrayed pissed about the whole situation, astarion would still not be super thrilled off the bat to be wrapped up in another person where he's so far on the lower scale in a power differential. that's not cool at all! but how do you find balance in a relationship when your boyfriend decides to go and become a fucking god???

you don't, of course, not really. even making him your chosen isn't going to fix that. BUT. you can maybe tip the scales by giving that boyfriend free reign over, oh i don't know...the actual religion you're about to inspire? religions have symbolism! color associations! hierarchies and titles! they have stupid little phrases for their followers to say to each other and ridiculous rituals and prayers to steep themselves in. their gods have dramatic monikers and their followers have asinine rules. it's complicated pageantry, but that's the kind of allure that draws people in and convinces them to donate, to devote.

and rather than let time run its natural course, let those things unravel organically as people find, interact with, come to know a new god....well why the hell should a bunch of nobodies be allowed to decide all that when astarion knows gale better than any of them anyway?

sure that means you end up with a religion where the running gag expected behavior is to wear your finest shoes to worship and to donate them at altars, and yes you end up with people earnestly saying shit to each other like "may you always find a helping hand through the stone" because...well what did you expect giving your petty ass boyfriend the freedom to decide your religion's devotions and practices after pissing him off? but you also get tenets like holding felines in the highest regard, beautiful temples that collect offerings of, yes, gold and shoes, but also books and items with fascinating enchantments and meals you've mentioned in passing.

and your chosen, your head of church, is perfectly suited and even more perfectly eager to see to it that your name, your practices, are not used to justify...certain unseemly ambitions. because you - neither of you, really - would be well suited to a passive, turn the other cheek religion. and your teachings would not miss a chance to remind your followers that your godhood rose out of the ashes of the Dead Three's Chosen. and, well. sometimes your boyfriend wants to turn something inside out, and who are you to deny him that??

[dianneking]

The Set-Up - Miranda/Reader (Top of the Lake: China Girl)

Crossposted on AO3 - if you prefer to read it there, follow this link!

Summary: Reader is crushing hard on Miranda, and yet somehow ends up on a date with Robin organized by none other than Miranda herself. Light angst, mostly Miranda being a hot mess tbh.

Tags: Mutual pining, jealousy, fake relationship, spying on people, Miranda being a clueless hot mess (as per canon), lil’ bit of angst, matchmaker!Robin, height difference, smoking, present tense, second person pov, ungendered reader.  Words: 3767

The Set-Up

You watch as Miranda enthusiastically waves goodbye at Detective Griffin before coming to lean against the wall by your side. Wordlessly you offer her a cigarette out of your pack, and she accepts with a muttered Thank you, sticking it immediately between her lips and lighting it up. Maybe it’s because you are somewhat more tired, maybe it’s because today she looks particularly happy and it tugs at something deep within you, but today’s the day where you throw caution to the wind and ask her what you have been ruminating on for quite some time.

"So, what's the deal with you and Griffin, huh?"

"We're on another case together. It's a good one."

"Only that?"

"What else?"

"Come on, Hilmarson, are you really going to make me ask?"

"I... I don't understand what you mean."

"You two seem pretty close, that is all."

"We sorted out our differences."

"Isn't that just great?"

"What's wrong with you today? You are being more waspish than usual. Didn’t take enough smoke breaks?"

"Don’t try to change the subject. Are congratulations in order? Are you two an item now?"

"What? No!"

"...if you say so."

"We really aren't! She's like my sister or something. Is that what was pissing you off?"

"Of course not! Why would I care if you and Griffin were hitting it off?"

"Oh my god, it is. You are jealous."

"No I'm not"

"You so are!"

"Am not"

"Are too!"

"Piss off!"

You shove her playfully, but doing so makes you painfully aware of your height difference, and you feel suddenly very small and nervous. If your crush for Miranda is so evident that even herself can call you out on it, you are worse off than you thought you were.

You try to sneak a glance up at her, and you see her beautiful face corrugated in a frown, as if trying to piece together a puzzle. Has she already figured out everything? Maybe you should consider making a tactical retreat before you dig yourself too deep into a hole. But at the same time, you are not willing to give up any time the two of you spend together.

Damn. She's so out of your league it's not even funny, you think, watching how the warm glow of the afternoon sun shines through her blonde eyelashes. You should probably have been more careful in letting your feelings known, you think as the silence stretches on uncomfortably. Now there's going to be that embarrassed little dance of her trying to let you down and you telling her that it's okay (it's not), you understand (you do), and that you hope you two can still be friends (you really, really do). You are not ready to give up your smoke breaks spent together, all the laughter, the jokes, the heart to heart talks. Miranda is the brightest part of your day, and you'll be damned if you'll do anything to hurt your friendship.

 "Hey I... I think you might have a chance, you know?"

"What?" You barely manage to choke out. Is she…

"Yeah, Robin is single you know. And you are witty and smart like her, you two would get on like a house on fire."

Oh no.

The implications of that sentence hit you like a cold shower. Is she really that clueless or is it some sort of joke? She's not the person to purposefully try to hurt you by mocking your crush, you know her well enough for that. You know she means well, and yet your heart sinks as surely as a rock in cold water. She's totally misunderstood, but that in itself is an answer.

"Miranda, that's not..."

"You know what? I can set you two up for a date!" She whips her phone out before you can try to get in a word, her tongue peeking out of her lips in a show of concentration as she types away. You try your best not to stare at her mouth as she does so, but you are entranced. So much so that you miss your only occasion to stop her.

"There you go!" she announces with a satisfied smile as the phone pings with Griffin's answer "She says she's up for grabbing lunch with you at Tony's tomorrow if you pay for it."

You try to swallow your disappointment, but it stays as a bitter knot in your throat. She might not be dating her detective partner, but she for sure isn't interested in you, if she's so quick to try set you up with her. She looks down at you, with so much excitement shining on her face that for a moment you get lost in those sparkling blue eyes. She's so gorgeous, and sunny, and kind. You really cannot be blamed for falling for her. It's just your usual rotten luck that she only sees you as a friend. So much so as to play matchmaker for you.

And you are so desperately in love with her that you cannot bring yourself to burst her bubble, to be the reason that her infectious smile drops from her lips, and so you don’t say anything. You don’t tell her that when the two of them storm through the station on their way to another case, or when they lean together, their heads close as they look at the computer screen together, it is not Griffin that you can’t take your eyes off from.

"So, what do you say?"

"Uhm…sure, I guess…"

“But of course, that’s what friends are for, isn’t it? You go get your girl!”

You shrug, trying to squash down the hurt that the word friend carries. You might as well go to this lunch with Griffin, hopefully you might be able to pull out of her whether Miranda is seeing someone else. Not that that would change much, would it? You should start trying to resign yourself to the fact that you really have no chance with her.

Also, Miranda looks positively giddy with excitement at having set the two of you up. Not when she has so resolutely stated that she only thinks of you as a friend. You are not going to make a fool of yourself confessing feelings that won’t be welcome and would only make your interactions awkward. Grabbing a bite with Griffin is for sure the lesser embarrassment of the two. Or at least the least damaging for your friendship. Because even if you can't have Miranda as your girlfriend, you are going to fight tooth and nail not to lose her as a friend.

 You only hope that Griffin won't be an arse about it.

“Why are we even here? Didn't you have a huge crush on Miranda?”

Obviously, it had been too much to ask for.

“...”

“I’ll take that as a yes. So why let her set you up with me?”

“If you knew that already, why did you agree to this date?”

“I wanted some free lunch.”

“Oh wow. Way to make someone feel appreciated, Griffin.”

“And I was curious.”

“Were you?”

“Yeah, I wanted to see what she sees in you.”

“Nothing much, probably, if she tried to peddle me to you at the first chance she got.”

You try to keep the bitterness out of your tone, but you still bite viciously into your sourdough sandwich, and you can hear Griffin scoff.

“Oh please, it's obvious that she's pining for you just as much as you are for her.” You can feel yourself burning with embarrassment. Still better than the alternative, you remind yourself. It's just a lunch.

“I might even believe you if she hadn’t just put me firmly in the friendzone, so please, Griffin, can you drop this and just enjoy your free food?"

 Miranda tries not to feel guilty as she peeks beyond the wall corner to watch her two colleagues through the window of the café. She just wants to see how the date goes, that's all. Since she's the one who made it possible and all of that, she feels somewhat responsible for it. Like a fairy godmother for your budding relationship. Her friend and her work partner hitting it off…that has to be a good match, right?

Everybody agrees that Robin is the absolute best detective in the station. And you...well, you deserve nothing but the best. And if you two work it out, she won't have to share her free time between the two of you, right? The three of you will be able to hang out together all the time, and all will be just grand. One big happy family.

She can see the two of you in conversation, and cannot help the nervous tapping of her fingers on the wall she's hiding behind. She can see you shrug, an embarrassed grimace on your face. She can see how red your ears have turned - she can't get over how cute you are when you blush. For all of your tough talk, she thinks affectionately, you really are just a big softie. Have you already told Robin of your crush for her?

What will her reaction be?

Maybe Robin will reject you, and of course Miranda will be there to help you through your heartbreak, to comfort you as you had done for her when her affair – it’s a relationship, babe – with Adrian had crumbled like a sandcastle built too close to the ocean. Because that’s what friends do for each other, right? And Miranda is very happy to be your friend.

She absolutely is.

Really.

It's just that…

It's just that sometimes she allows her mind to run free, and she finds herself wondering how it would feel for once to hold your hand as you lean against the wall outside the station side by side, how your hair would feel if she buried her hands in it, how your lips would taste if she were to… No. She really shouldn’t. You're her friend, and she's pretty sure normal people don’t think about kissing their friend.

Unless they have romantic feelings for their friend. And she surely doesn't. Does she?

…

Fuck.

She totally has romantic feelings for you.

How hasn't she noticed? How long has she been feeling this way towards you and mistaking it for friendship? Suddenly she feels like bashing her head against the rough brick wall. How could she have been so dumb? She has even helped to set you up with Robin! Wow, good job, Hilmarson. Great. Couldn't she have realised it like two days ago? Even for her standards - she's the first to admit that she has messed up multiple times in her life - that's one major cock-up.

 “See? She's totally into you as well, she's even spying on our date.”

“That might just be because she is curious. If she wanted me, why would she try to set me up with you? Come on, Griffin, you must be smarter than this. Aren't you supposed to be the best detective in Australia or something?”

“Ha-ha, such a flatterer. Look, I know what I’m seeing. And lucky for you, I’ve got an idea.”

“Lord help us all.”

“What if I pretended to go along with it?”

“Griffin, I am flattered, but I thought we had already been over how I'm not interested in you.”

“That's why I said pretended, genius. She’ll see us together, get jealous and realize her feelings for you.”

“She won't. You might be a decent detective, but you suck at relationship advice. Oi! Remove your hand from mine, this is ridiculous.”

 She shouldn't still be here, Miranda thinks, and yet she can't seem to be able to rip her eyes away from the way Robin has grasped your hand above the coffee table, her face opening in a lopsided smile.

This isn't fun anymore. Not since she's realised how badly she has fucked up in helping you two out. Miranda swallows, her eyes never leaving Robin as she slides out of her side of the booth and moves to sit beside you. She's never seen that sort of playful grin on Robin's face, unless she was totally hammered, and to see it when she's sober, and on a date with you of all people… Robin wants you too, doesn't she?

Well, of course she does. I mean, look at you, you are lively, smart, funny, attractive, and Robin might be many things, but she for sure isn’t blind or stupid. She has to know how much of a catch you are.

Miranda can only watch helplessly as Robin - the same Robin who refuses all sort of affectionate contact, struggling to even hug her own daughter - is leaning into you, nuzzling your neck, and whispering something in your ear. You jolt up as if electrocuted, and turn towards her, shock clear on your face. What has she said to you? Miranda feels like she's going insane, stuck on the outside looking in.

And then Robin chooses that moment to plant a kiss square on your lips.

Miranda turns tail and flees.

 “What the fuck, Griffin?”

“It's gonna work, trust me. I know Miranda.”

  Miranda leans against the wall next to the station, in what over the years she has come to think of as your spot. If she closes her eyes, she can almost fool herself into thinking you’re by her side, as you always are, cigarette dangling from your lips, always ready with a sarcastic quip, or a funny retort. Except you're not there. You're still on your stupid happy date, that she had pushed you into, like the moron she is.

She's been chainsmoking since she came back from spying on you, and the longer it takes for you to come back, the more harshly she pulls in the smoke between her teeth, trying to lessen her stress. Trying not to picture what you and Robin could be doing that's taking the both of you so damn long.

She tries to ignore the painful constriction of her heart at what her traitorous mind conjures up. The mere thought of Robin's small hands safely ensconced in your bigger ones, of her mouth exploring yours as Miranda had been dreaming of doing even before she recognized her feelings for you, of the two of you hugging or worse, makes her want to scream at the top of her lungs and hit something.

But she can't.

You're her friend, she should want you to be happy, shouldn't she? And if that means stepping aside and supporting you in your relationship with Robin, of course she'll do just that. Because Robin is the one you're interested in and there's nobody on earth Miranda can think is more different from her than Detective Griffin. Robin simply is everything Miranda has never been: petite, professional, smart, careful and precise. It's no wonder you like her and not big, clumsy, helpless Miranda.

Miranda, who's a terrible friend and cannot even support you wholeheartedly in your new budding relationship.

Miranda shakes her head, dropping the butt of her cigarette to the ground and moodily stepping on it. She should be happy for you, should be grateful to be allowed to be your friend, it's not like she has  a whole lot of those anyways. The sooner she starts to accept the fact that there's no hope for anything more between you two, the better it'll be for her poor heart.

She just didn't expect it to hurt so much.

But what's taking you so long? Is that how it's going to be from now on? You and Robin, so wrapped in each other that you forget about Miranda, leaving her alone once again, cast aside, begging for scraps of affection from her friends?

She can feel the tears filling her eyes at the mere thought.

 "You're back! How…how did it go?"

Miranda’s smile is too big, her eyes too watery for it to be sincere. For the first time you allow yourself to hope against all hopes that maybe, maybe Robin has a point.

But maybe you are just seeing what you want to see.

“Are you alright, Miranda?" Her laugh is high, nervous and ends up in a sort of hiccup as she clumsily claps you on the shoulder, rocking you with the strength of the impact.

"Of course I am! Why wouldn’t I be, there’s a new, blooming romance in the station! And between my best friend and my partner, to boot! Isn't that just grand? Are you gonna tell all the others about it, or should I tell them and save you the pain?”

Her happy-go-lucky voice is so fake it twists your heart and almost makes you miss what she has said.

“Nonono, there will be no telling anything to the others!”

The last thing you need is for the whole fucking station to think you and Griffin are an item. You wouldn’t hear the end of it. It’s already bad that Miranda thinks that. And hopefully you can somehow clear that up.

“Is that something Robin asked you? Does she want to keep you as her dirty little secret? You shouldn’t settle for that! You deserve more!” She gesticulates wildly at this, her hands cutting the air with agitated gestures, as she defends your honor against imaginary slights.

“That’s not it, Miranda. It’s just-“ But she cuts you off before you can get a word in.

“You shouldn't hide your feelings! You two are totally made for each other. Go be unapologetically together!”

"Why are you so adamant in pushing us together?" You finally snap, irritatedly. She's not making any sort of sense. She's trying so hard to get the two of you together even if it's obvious that she's not happy in the least about it. And even though you are starting to think more and more that this might all be a huge misunderstanding, it cuts to hear the woman you love trying so hard to set you up with someone else. What if Robin wasn’t right? What if Miranda really only saw you as a friend and nothing more?

"What do you mean? Didn't the date go well? You sure looked like you were hitting it off pretty well, and you took your sweet time, too." She mutters the second part softly, as if it has come out of her mouth without her really wanting to, then promptly blushes a deep red.

You always found her adorable when she blushed.

"Miranda, I need to know it, why were you spying on us?"

"Oh god, you saw me? I… Uhm I…I just happened to drop by Tony's, I had totally forgotten that the two of you were there. So I uhm hid, because I didn’t want to make it uncomfortable for you. Hehe, that’s all."

"Is… Is it possible that you might like me?" You throw all caution to the wind because really, at this point you need a clear answer.

"No!" She answers too quickly "Of course not! You are my friend. I like you as a friend!" Hope stirs once again, but you don't dare to believe it quite yet. Not while she keeps denying everything.

"Miranda, you are many good things, but you are a terrible liar."

She suddenly rights herself from where she was leaning against the wall and makes as if to move towards the station.

"Well, I…I need to go. I just realized that my lunchbreak was over like five minutes ago and I-"

You stop her, a hand on her wrist, and a pleading tone to your voice.

"No, please. Stay. I…"

She stops, but she stays with her back to you. When she speaks, her voice wavers ever so slightly.

“You don’t have to spare my feelings, I know what you want to say.”

“You…do? ‘Cause it seems to me that this is all a huge misunderstanding.”

“Of course. A misunderstanding. Sure, that’s one way to put it. Just another big clumsy mess, made by big clumsy Miranda. I guess we’re used to it by now, aren’t we?”

She turns now, and you are shocked to see tears streaking down her face.

“That’s not what-“

“It's OK,” she interrupts you once again, angrily wiping the wetness off her face as she looks at you with a solemn, sad look into those beautiful big blue eyes of hers, “I know that you like Robin, I would never do anything to ruin your chance with her. You really make a perfect couple, I am serious about it. I just need a little time to adjust.” Her voice is picking up speed, as if it's impossible to stop now that she's started, “I am so grateful to have you as a friend, it's not like I expected you to return my feelings. Hell, I didn't recognise them for what they are until I saw the two of you together. And I would never let something like that ruin our friendship. Everything can stay perfectly the same, even if you are with Robin and…and I know I am a terrible friend that has fallen for you after setting you up with your crush but I want you to be happy and please don't hate me."

You blink under the onslaught of words she's unleashed on you, and when she abruptly stops, all that can be heard in the small alley to the side of the station is her heavy breathing, as if she had just run a marathon. Her shoulders are shaking and you can't see her face, dipped as it is into her collarbone in shame.

Your heart breaks at seeing her like this, at the sheer thought that Miranda could believe even for one second that you hate her.

You stand right in front of her, cradling her red, downturned face in your hands, tilting it ever so slightly up from where it was staring at the pavement, so you can once again look directly into her beautiful blue eyes, now swimming with tears and swirling emotions.

She's such a mess, you think affectionately. But she's a lovely mess with the biggest of hearts, and you wouldn’t want her any other way.

"Miranda, I could never ever hate you. In fact, it's quite the opposite. I… I think I love you."

"As…as a friend?"

"No, dearest, no, not as a friend."

And you hope there's no mistaking your intentions now as you press your lips to hers in a kiss that the both of you have been daydreaming about for way too long to admit.

Liked it? You can find more of my fanfiction on my masterlist!

[ryuichirou]

Azul×Idia headcanons... hand em over, I wanna hear them all, every single one

(You're artsyle is so scrumptious it's not even funny❤❤❤❤❤❤)

Dear Anon! Sorry for the late reply. I am very happy you like my artstyle, and I am especially happy that you like Azul/Idia. They are our first twst ship, they are actually the first twst ship that we’ve written headcanons about, and our first post with them was almost a year ago?? That’s a long time, but I still feel like we just fell in love with these two lol

Just in case, here are some previous posts with hcs about them:

The very first one

Some more headcanons (+the ones about the Marriage AU)

The one with octo!Azul

The one about the overblot versions of these two

There are also some about Idia and the OctaTrio, but you can find all of them in the according tag (“headcanons”), so I won’t link them here.

As you can see, we have a lot to say about them lol, but it’s been a while since our last hc post about them, so I’ll give you some new ones! God I hope they’re new… I hate it when I accidentally repeat myself lol

They are an odd couple because both are allergic to sincerity and have a hard time opening up to each other. It’s almost like they’re afraid that if they say something honest and romantic, the other one is going to laugh at him. And to be honest, Azul is worse at it than Idia. Like, Idia’s initial reaction would be laugh it off and say that Azul is cringe (as a defense mechanism), but he would actually appreciate it a lot and maybe even open up in return. Azul, however, is absolutely terrified of being rejected for his feelings and sometimes has a hard time reacting to Idia’s own sincere moments. But he’s slowly getting better, I guess.

Despite that, Azul is actually quite romantic sometimes. If he falls asleep in Idia’s room, he clings to him, his long limbs, his warm hair. He is actually quite needy when he lets his guard down. But Idia learned not to comment on that, because Azul instantly gets embarrassed and super pissed off and sometimes even bites him :( Ouch

They actually argue quite often. And god forbid if they argue about something that can’t easily get googled and prove one of them wrong, because this petty argument is going to last for ages. Sometimes it ends up being an arousing thing for them, but Idia always comments on how much of a cliché it is to yell at each other and then make out passionately.

Their sex life used to be super awkward at the very beginning of their relationship, because they are basically a combo of a socially inept hikki guy whose kinks and preferences are super far detached from a real human life, and a merman who didn’t have legs or human reproductive organs only 3 years ago. So they weren’t even super into sex at first, it’s just too much mental and physical work, too awkward and embarrassing. That being said, they did have their early horny moments when they got really carried away and way too into touching each other.

After they’ve been together for some time though, sex is going to become less stressful, at least for Azul. He learns very fast, and he is obsessed with getting better, so Idia is going to be overwhelmed and fucked in all the right places at the same time lol But they still have these vibes of two awkward but horny nerds sometimes.

There are periods during which they don’t have sex at all, and barely even have any romantic interactions. During these one might even think that they’re just friends, since they seem to be very neutral in the ways they interact and talk about games and stuff. Idia doesn’t mind it, but it’s a bit wild even to him sometimes how not interested in sex Azul actually is…because when Azul is aroused, it seems like sex is the most important thing in his life lol I guess this is an animal within him.

They aren’t really into bdsm, but they’re one of those couples who fall into the d/s dynamics naturally sometimes for some reason. Mostly because Idia is very bratty with Azul and likes to tease him, and sometimes Azul gets pissed off and reacts in a very dominating and overwhelming way, and then all of a sudden things happen… Let’s just say that Idia got spanked more than one time.

[broken-clover]

SolAxl Week(ish)- Day 7

Okay I am learning a lesson about doing these week-type challenges. They are fun! But I feel bad for the organizers for having to put up with my shitty pace. Promise I never mean to, it just...sorta happens...

Free Day time! I like open-ended options, fun to stretch the creative legs. I decided to whip out something I haven't really used before, the pantheon/god AU. I sorta used it for another prompt fill a while back, and in general the au is sorta unfinished and half-baked, it's fun trying to assign domains to characters and forming a little ramshackle structure of deities. For what unfinished and undecided stuff I have, I am very attached to Axl being a death god, as a jovial reaper who does his best to make the passage comfortable, and Sol being the god of war (among other things), so their work often overlaps and they spend a lot of time around one another.

Content warnings for discussions of death and one (1) sex mention

-

Historically, during the American Civil War, particularly during the 1861 Battle of Bull Run, onlookers set up picnics overlooking the battlefield. At first, civilians had assumed the ‘war’ would be a short one, a casual affair, easily dealt with. They thought so little of it that they chose to treat it as a spectacle, an amusement. Families brought their baskets and blankets to watch death unfold in front of their eyes.

Now, over 200 years ago, a duo was re-enacting that twisted tradition. A pair of men sat on the grass as they overlooked a field. Below, little had changed in the decades passed. Two factions throwing themselves at one another, swords and guns ablaze, frothing at the mouth to draw blood. In their frantic violence, bodies, dirt, and munitions were thrown every which way, even up the hillside. A few bits of debris came close to the onlookers, but neither paid it much mind. They didn’t even bother moving their feet. It was easier not to care when they had no fear of dying.

“They’re still on it down there?” Asked one to the other. Of the two, he would most easily pass for a normal man. His attire was simple, casual, the sort you’d see on some random pedestrian you passed along the sidewalk. His eyes shimmered like galaxies, and a handheld sickle dangled from a chain on his belt, but unless someone was looking for them, those oddities went unnoticed by most.

“Of course. Practically what humans do best.” His companion, in contrast, was more readily odd. As he opened his mouth to speak, smoke poured freely from a glowing throat. His taloned feet made him stand taller than any mortal man, instilling unease even in some of his fellow deathless. His stature and presence commanded attention. His slitted eyes commanded submission.

Despite it, the being at his side regarded him with the offbeat calm of an old drinking companion. “Does it make you happy?” He asked, folding his arms behind his head.

“What makes you ask?”

“I mean, this is your domain, after all.” He shrugged.

The smoke-spitting oddity shook his head, an air of solemnity in his stance. “Doesn’t mean I gotta like it. More deaths mean more work for all of us. You should know by now how much I hate workin’ hard.”

“Mmm. Maybe not all of us. Milly’s been starved for work lately, y’know. Not much merciful death to be had ‘round here. And sure as hell no beauty or solace, neither.” The other replied.

As they conversed, neither faction noticed the two’s presence. Even if they weren’t embroiled in life-or-death conflict, the strangers’ existence would go entirely unacknowledged.

“Maybe we can whip up one of those virgin orgies? I know she ain’t as freaky as she used to be back in the day, but…”

“Tch.” The dragon-man scoffed, sparks flying from his lips like struck flint. “She’ll be pissed if you say that. ‘N then if we did, we’d gotta be sure Johnny won’t show up and screw everything up again."

“Or screw everything again.”

“Yeah. Exactly. He doesn’t need any damn encouragement.”

A mortal shell was lobbed across the field, exploding in a burning ball. Several bodies, some alive and others already gone, flew back under the force. It served as a brief punctuation for the fight, as both parties quickly fell back into gunfire.

”You glad about it? You’re always talkin’ about those reunion ragers.”

“Mmm.” The cosmos in the man’s eyes were dull. “Y’think I don’t know how much humans hate it? I’ve seen it firsthand for millennia. I just try ‘n make it as fun as I can. ‘m not content to be miserable. It’s good when I lose. They all come to me eventually, I’m fine with them takin’ their time.”

“...I doubt they’re going to ‘take their time’ down there.”

He sighed. “Nah. Always in a rush to die, humans. Never made any sense to me. Might sound strange comin’ from me of all people, but…”

“Eh. God of War thinks most wars are idiotic, you can do the same about your own job. We do a lotta work for those flimsy little flesh bags, don’t mean we gotta forget who’s the omnipotent ones here.”

“Fair enough, chief! Fair enough.” Smiling death stretched his arms to the sky. He clicked his tongue, the way a spirit he’d reaped four centuries ago taught him. “Prolly should get to work soon. Gonna sit and watch?”

“I’ll come.”

“Huh? Y’ sure?”

“Beats sitting and waiting.” The joints of his talons cracked as they bent. “Besides. War and death walk hand-in-hand, I heard someone say.”

His companion snickered. “I’ve heard someone say something like ‘they sleep in the same bed.’ Depends on the night though, eh?”

“Don’t push it.” His fellow god elbowed him in the ribs.

He took the weapon from his belt and twirled it. “Hopefully they come easy. Try not to scare ‘em too much, okay, chief?”

“Fine, as long as you can get them all before dinner.”

“Deal. Say, what’s Jam making tonight, anyway?”

“Oh, everything, same as always. Some of Dizzy’s temples out west left some good offerings for the harvest she gave them. Those’ll probably get served, too.”

The light came back to his glittering eyes. “Mortals might do some dumb stuff, but they know how to make damn good food.”

[weepingfromacedartree]

Ten Milestones (Interlude): Voicemails

Hi friends!

Another interlude chapter is ready for ya. It's quite different than our standard chapters, so... enjoy :)

Two quick notes:

1. This interlude spans the first five-ish years of Colin’s travels abroad. It starts after the events of Chapter 5 and will lead directly into next chapter.

2. Anytime “…” appears between paragraphs, it’s to indicate that the speaker is pausing for a few seconds.

June 9th, 2015 - 3:23 PM

To: colin ✈️

From: pen ✨✨

Hey! I wanted to call and make sure you landed safely. But I, uh —

[Laughter.]

I think I got the timing wrong. I think you’re still in the air. So just call me back whenever you do land.

…

I still can’t believe you’re really doing this. I mean —

[Nervous laughter.]

Obviously, I can believe it. I just — I can’t wait to hear all about it. 

Bye, Colin. 

~~~~~~~~~~

June 29th, 2015 - 7:07 AM

To: pen ✨✨

From: colin ✈️

Hey, Pen. I just emailed you a few pictures, but um —

[Laughter.]

Did you know there are like a million stray cats roaming around Athens? I swear, there’s at least one on every corner, popping his head out looking for food or attention. But I was just going for a run and — I swear to god — I saw the reincarnation of Mr. Whiskers pissing on an olive tree. This tiny grey fur ball looked up at me and —

…

Wait. Is Mr. Whiskers dead? He would be like twelve now, right? I —

…

Well… In the case that he’s still alive, I think I just saw his long lost Greek cousin. Professor Whiskers, maybe.

[Laughter.]

Alright, Pen. Talk soon. 

~~~~~~~~~~

August 27th, 2015 - 2:13 PM

To: pen ✨✨

From: colin ✈️

Hey, Pen. Just saw your text. Yes, I landed safely. Yes, Madrid is beautiful. No, I have yet to try the paella — but I promise you’ll be the first to receive my review. 

[Laughter.]

I’ll call you later once I get a bit more settled. Bye Pen. 

~~~~~~~~~~

October 18th, 2015 - 9:20 PM

To: colin ✈️

From: pen ✨✨

Hey. I just finished reading over the Italy piece. It was good. Like, really good… But perhaps one too many cheese puns? 

…

Anyway… Call me back when you have the chance. You still haven’t told me about Caffè Florian. [Laughter.] Do they even stock enough sugar for your tea? 

…

Okay, well… Goodnight Colin. 

~~~~~~~~~~

November 23rd, 2015 - 7:39 AM

To: pen ✨✨

From: colin ✈️

Hey, Pen. 

Sorry. I know it’s early. But I also know today is gonna be shit so, uh…

…

Call me later, if you can. 

~~~~~~~~~~

December 16th, 2015 - 10:01 PM

To: pen ✨✨

From: colin ✈️

Hey, Pen. I’m calling from Paris and —

I don’t know why I said that. [Laughter.] Obviously you know I’m in Paris. But, I — I was just watching the tower light up and I had a sudden memory of you telling me you wanted to come here once and I…

…

I could be misremembering. [Faint laughter.] It was a while ago, I think. But I think you’d like it here. I’ll tell you all about it at that surprise Welcome Home/Birthday/Christmas Eve Party that I know absolutely nothing about. 

Night, Pen. See you soon.

~~~~~~~~~~

February 14th, 2016 - 9:27 PM

To: pen ✨✨

From: colin ✈️

Hey, Pen. I hate to admit it, but I am only just now realising that time zones exist and that if it’s 9:30 in New York, it’s…

…

Shit. 2:30 in London.

I apologise for ringing you in the middle of the night —

Actually — no I don’t. If I recall correctly, you’re up writing or reading or procrastinating until at least 3 AM every night anyway. Please call me back ASAP with your own apology for dodging this very important phone call. 

~~~~~~~~~~

April 7th, 2016 - 8:08 PM

To: pen ✨✨

From: colin ✈️

Hey, Pen. I’m on the train heading into Chicago. My computer just died, so I apologise in advance for the stream of consciousness bullshit I’m about to leave for you in this message. But, um…

There’s something about being on this train that has me thinking about travel and distance and —

Good god, this already sounds corny. Sorry. Bear with me a moment. 

…

It wasn’t until I landed in New York that I realised just how far away from home I was. I looked it up, and the city was about five and a half thousand kilometres away from London. I mean — god. I remember being at Eton and thinking 35 kilometres was an insane distance. 

In January, New York was the furthest place I had ever been from home. Then I went to Toronto, and that became the furthest place I had ever been from home. Now I’m heading into Chicago and —

I don’t know. There’s something about being on a train that’s making me hyper-aware of just how fast I’m hurdling forward. How, every second, I’m travelling even further and further away from the pinpoint where I’ll always measure my distances from. I —

[Tired laughter.]

I’m not sure where I’m going with this, honestly. Nonetheless, thank you for lending me your future ear — assuming you actually made it this far. I —

…

Oh — I see the city up ahead. Once I get to my hotel, perhaps I can try to turn this bullshit into something a bit less corny. 

I’ll call you tomorrow. Night, Pen. 

~~~~~~~~~~

June 6th, 2016 - 6:15 PM

To: pen ✨✨

From: colin ✈️

Hey, Pen. 

Guess who’s flight just took off without him? I know — shocking, coming from such an experienced traveller such as myself. But my connecting flight was delayed so I really can’t take any of the blame.

…

Anyway… I’m stuck in Terminal E of Logan International, where I’ll likely be spending the next several hours dying from boredom and eating as many bags of crisps as I can get my hands on. If you aren’t too busy, maybe you can call me back and help with the boredom bit. 

Talk soon. 

~~~~~~~~~~

August 7th, 2016 - 12:49 PM

To: colin ✈️

From: pen ✨✨

Hi! I was just looking at your pictures from Cyprus and I —

[Distant clap of thunder.]

Oh. [Laughter.] I was wondering what it’s like to be in beautiful, sunny weather in the middle of the summer. Must be devastating. 

~~~~~~~~~~

September 21st, 2016 - 8:30 AM

To: pen ✨✨

From: colin ✈️

Hey, Pen. I was just reading back your notes on my piece and I’m a little confused about the last one. 

What the fuck does “too many food puns” mean? The only reason I came to Hungary was to capitalise on its pun potential. 

Please call me back ASAP so we can get this sorted.

~~~~~~~~~~

December 24th, 2016 - 12:02 AM

To: pen ✨✨

From: colin ✈️

Hey, Pen. 

Sorry, I know it’s late. But I’m also waiting around doing absolutely nothing, so I thought I would check in. 

I’m still in Sweden. But we’ll, uh — we’ll probably take off in the morning once the snow lets up. I —

…

I can’t believe it’s been six months since I’ve seen you. Since I’ve seen anyone at home. I’m a little worried that I’ll get home tomorrow and find that Greg now towers over me. Hyacinth called me last week just to complain about his latest growth spurt, so…

… 

Oh shit. Sorry — I knew it was late, but I didn’t realise it's already midnight. 

Merry Christmas Eve, then. I suppose it’s still technically the 23rd in London — but I suppose that doesn’t matter much when it comes to voicemails. 

I feel like there’s another commemoration on this date that I’m forgetting. It’s on the tip of my tongue, but it’s so late and I’m just so bloody tired…

…

Oh well. It’ll come back to me. 

Night, Pen. See you soon.  

~~~~~~~~~~

May 3rd, 2017 - 11:50 PM

To: pen ✨✨

From: colin ✈️

Hey, Pen. Sorry. I didn’t realise how late it was. I —

…

Did you know that you can’t sink in the Dead Sea? The water is so dense with salt that your body will just pop up if you try to go under. You could try your absolute hardest to sink to the bottom, and it just wouldn’t let you. 

I think there’s a metaphor in there somewhere. But it’s also very late and I just spent half the night staring at a Word doc and I’m starting to lose my ability to process complex thought. 

…

Fuck it. I’m sending you the first draft now. It’s shit, but if you’re not too busy tomorrow, maybe you can send me your thoughts. And prayers.

…

Alright. Night Pen. 

~~~~~~~~~~

August 24th, 2017 - 10:17 PM

To: colin ✈️

From: pen ✨✨

Hey! Um… 

Daphne wanted me to call and remind you all not to get the groom too drunk the night before his wedding. Fair warning: if you don’t call me back within five minutes to confirm that Simon is still standing upright, she’s prepared to send Eloise in to break up the party. 

~~~~~~~~~~

October 10th, 2017 - 7:54 PM

To: pen ✨✨

From: colin ✈️

Hey, Pen. Just calling ‘cause I wanted to ask if you’ve ever tried pickle soup. It sounds kind of strange but —

[Slurp.]

Good god. It’s bloody delicious. Absolutely recommend. 

[Slurp.]

Talk soon. 

~~~~~~~~~~

December 31st, 2017 - 10:58 PM

To: pen ✨✨

From: colin ✈️

Hey, Pen. At the risk of sounding extremely needy… 

You’re still coming tonight, right? God knows who invited her, but Cressida Cowper is here and she keeps handing me tequila shots and I really don’t —

…

Oh shit! There you a—

~~~~~~~~~~

January 19th, 2018 - 2:30 PM

To: colin ✈️

From: pen ✨✨

Hi! Just wanted to call and see how Sydney’s treating you so far. Is it weird to be experiencing summer in the middle of January? 

[Laughter.] 

Anyway… Call me back when you have the chance. 

~~~~~~~~~~

April 20th, 2018 - 5:58 PM

To: pen ✨✨

From: colin ✈️

Hey! Good news — the baby’s here! In worse, but also extremely funny news…

Apparently El walked in while Daphne was pushing. Mum said her face literally went white before doubling over onto the floor. I —

…

Actually, I should probably go and check on her. I think they’re treating her for a concussion as we speak. 

See you soon. 

~~~~~~~~~~

May 24th, 2018 - 4:44 PM

To: colin ✈️

From: pen ✨✨

Hey! Sorry — can you call me back when you have the chance? I know we’re supposed to get lunch tomorrow, but Danbury just called and asked if I could come in tomorrow about the columnist position and I know we already had to postpone, but I’m worried I —

[Sigh.]

Sorry. 

[Nervous laughter.] 

I’m rambling. Call me back so we can discuss.

~~~~~~~~~~

June 25th, 2018 - 6:21 PM

To: pen 💛 

From: colin 🤡

Hey, Pen. Just wanted to call and see how your first day on the job was. And, of course, to complain about having to travel by myself again. I almost forgot how bloody boring these layovers can be without someone there to complain about them with. 

[Faint laughter.] 

In person, I mean. 

…

Anyway, call me when you’re free. I can’t wait to, uh — 

[Cough.]

To hear about your day. Talk soon. 

~~~~~~~~~~

August 22nd, 2018 - 9:09 PM

To: pen 💛 

From: colin 🤡

Hey, Pen. Just calling because, uh — 

Because I wanted to say hi, really. 

…

Venice is good. It’s quite nice, this time of year. The weather’s starting to cool a bit. The water is calm. The food is the best in the world — but that’s not really time sensitive. 

…

I really cannot stress this enough. I believe it to be a great tragedy that you have yet to eat real Italian pasta. I know you’re extremely busy with work, but if you happen to have a free weekend over the next few weeks, the door is always open. 

…

Alright. Night, Pen.

~~~~~~~~~~

September 21st, 2018 - 11:51 PM

To: pen 💛 

From: colin 🤡

Hey, Pen. Sorry for the late call. But I, uh —

[Faint laughter.]

I forgot how warm it is in Greece this time of year. I’m currently sitting by a river at midnight and it’s actually quite pleasant. Disturbingly so, if you ask me. 

There are a few dozen other people here enjoying the weather — smoking and talking and wearing sandals, or all things. I can’t imagine anyone wearing sandals in London tonight. 

…

There’s a lot I’ve forgotten about Greece. Like the cats. It’s insane, Pen. I can see three right now without even having to turn my head. I —

…

It’s just strange. I stayed here for nearly three months. That was three years ago, but still… Nothing fundamental has changed during that time. And yet…

…

And yet it feels unfamiliar to me now. But I suppose that has more to do with me — and perhaps time — than the country itself. 

…

God. I sound like somebody’s grandfather. I think that’s my cue to head back to my hotel.

Night, Pen. Talk soon. 

~~~~~~~~~~

December 19th, 2018 - 11:12 PM

To: pen 💛 

From: colin 🤡

Hey, Pen. Sorry — I know it’s late. 

I just sent you the first draft of my piece and…

I don’t know. There’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot. I tried to weave it into the story, but my readers don’t come to me for Bridgerton family history lessons, so —

[Laughter.]

Suffice to say, I left it out. 

But I don’t know. I just — I keep thinking about it.

…

Did you know my grandfather was stationed here at the end of World War II? He came here in ‘44, about a year before it all went shit for the Germans. And when it did, he was given the option to leave Vienna and immediately return to London. At the time, he hadn’t been home — hadn’t seen my gran — in over three years. They wrote hundreds of letters to each other during that time — all of which are stashed in a box at Aubrey Hall, in case you were wondering. But anyway…

When the war ended, as much as my grandfather wanted to go home and see my gran’s face again, he wrote to her and asked if she would be willing to wait a little while longer. If she could stand it if he stayed here. If he remained in Vienna while the allied forces first occupied the city — to continue carrying out his duty. 

She said yes. He stayed here another two years. He arrived back on English shores on April 6th, 1947. Two days later, they got married. They did at a courthouse, just the two of them together. Like they were the last two people in the world. 

…

I, uh — I didn’t piece this all together through the letters alone. My dad actually told me about it a few weeks before he died. I remember asking him why granddad stayed in Vienna for so long after the war technically ended. How he could stand to stay away from the woman he seemed so desperate to return to.

I remember my dad telling me: “There are times when duty surmounts passion.” Which I didn’t understand. Mainly because I was eight and had no fucking clue what the word “surmounts” meant, but…

Now, I understand what he was trying to say. That duty and passion are separate. That my grandfather’s duty lied in war, while his passion lied with his love. That his duty went beyond his required deployment period. That he stayed in Vienna those extra two years because that’s what he felt was right, even if he would have preferred to go home and be with the love of his life. 

Now, I —

…

I think my dad was wrong. He described my grandfather’s duty to his country as passionless — as if it was something he had to do when he wanted to be elsewhere. But I’ve read my grandfather’s journals from that time, and he never wrote about his life like he was carrying the weight of the world on his back. He may have been homesick and distressed at times — it was a bloody war, for god’s sake. But he — he was also proud of what he was doing. He was fulfilled. He was not drowning in a lack of passion. 

I think we —

[Cough.]

I think some people, at least, have multiple passions. Passions that are at war with one another. That make it impossible to achieve everything we want all at once. Some that beg us to go home, some that beg us to stay. 

I think my grandfather made a choice. I think he chose one passion for a while, and one forever. I think he knew that once they married, he wouldn’t be able to bear living without my nan ever again. 

…

[Awkward laughter.]

I guess he was lucky that she was willing to wait for him.

…

[Sigh.]

Well… I believe I’ve taken up enough of your time. If you somehow managed to listen all the way to the end, I sincerely apologise for the rambling. I promise I’ll wait until Sunday to share the rest of my travel epiphanies with you. 

Take care, Pen.

~~~~~~~~~~

December 20th, 2018 - 12:11 AM

To: colin 🤡 

From: pen 💛

I always listen until the end. 

I’ll see you on Sunday. Goodnight, Colin. 

~~~~~~~~~~

January 31st, 2019 - 3:45 PM

To: pen 💛 

From: colin 🤡

You know, Pen, I’m starting to suspect that you purposely ‘miss’ my calls just so you can listen back to these wonderful voice messages whenever it pleases you. And while I can understand your desire to have these recordings stashed away forever, I would selfishly prefer some actual back-and-forth between us. 

I’m currently sitting outside one of the seven wonders of the world. Call me back and I’ll tell you all about it.

~~~~~~~~~~

March 21st, 2019 - 5:17 PM

To: colin 🤡 

From: pen 💛

Hey! Thank you so much for your insights on my story. Danbury loved it. 

Call me back when you have the chance. Thanks again!

~~~~~~~~~~

April 29th, 2019 - 7:57 PM

To: pen 💛 

From: colin 🤡

Hey, Pen. Just wanted to give you a head’s up that I just sent you a draft and it’s absolute bollocks. If you can manage to turn it into something vaguely readable, I will literally fly you out here just to say thanks. And I know how much you love Thai food. 

~~~~~~~~~~

June 29th, 2019 - 10:20 PM

To: colin 🤡 

From: pen 💛

Hey! Sorry, I just saw that you called! And I am now remembering that you’re in Dubai and probably — hopefully — fast asleep by now so…

[Laughter.]

…

[Indecipherable noise.]

We’re, uh — We’re still out for Kate’s birthday. We’re on our way to karaoke, actually.

[Laughter.]

Thank god El is here, or else I would be worried about being the worst singer in the pub. I —

[Indecipherable noise.]

Sorry! I have to go. Call me when we’re both awake. 

Lo—

[Cough.]

Um… Goodnight!

~~~~~~~~~~

October 18th, 2019 - 8:08 PM

To: colin 🤡 

From: pen 💛

Did you really just send me an SOS text from Los Angeles? I admire your creativity, but this is not how you convince someone to drop everything and take an impromptu holiday with you. 

…

In the event that you are in an actual emergency, please contact the proper authorities. I appreciate your commitment to the bit, but I ask that you please not sacrifice your life for it. 

~~~~~~~~~~

December 9th, 2019 - 8:30 AM

To: pen 💛 

From: colin 🤡

Hey, Pen.

I just finished reading your new column. Phenomenal, as always… But how the hell did you manage to sneak a pun in there? I thought Danbury had a strict policy against “superfluous literary devices.”

However you managed it… Congratulations. I couldn’t be prouder. 

~~~~~~~~~~

December 19th, 2019 - 4:41 PM

To: colin 🤡 

From: pen 💛

Hey! I had a work thing tonight but it just got cancelled. Any chance you want to meet at Mondrich’s? 

Let me know. I’ll, um, hopefully see you soon. 

~~~~~~~~~~

January 29th, 2020 - 9:22 PM

To: pen 💛 

From: colin 🤡

Hey, Pen. 

…

You’re the closest thing I have to a manager, right? In your professional opinion…

Would it be crazy to bail on this trip early? Give myself, uh… 48 hours to go home and grab some proper fish and chips. See Auggie and Blair. See mum. See you — obviously. London isn’t the most logical pit stop between Berlin and Prague but…

…

Yeah — you know what? It was a dumb idea. I’ve got plenty of those, so… 

Call me back when you’re not too busy. Maybe I can share some more. 

~~~~~~~~~~

February 14th, 2020 - 10:00 AM

To: colin 🤡 

From: pen 💛

Good morning!

Is it still morning in Prague? I —

[Faint laughter.]

I suppose that doesn’t matter much when it comes to voicemails. I, um — 

I’m doing some research on old churches. Which — don’t ask. But I’m currently sitting on the steps outside St. Bride’s Church. I don’t know if you’d recognise it, but it’s the one downtown that, um —

[Laughter.]

The one that looks like a wedding cake. 

I think you’d like it. And not just because of its food-shaped exterior. 

It’s actually considered a church for writers. And for publishers. It got that reputation back in the 17th century, when the publishing industry was booming here on Fleet Street. But, regardless of all that…

It’s really quite an interesting building. I can see why it’s attracted and inspired so many great writers over the years. 

Maybe we can check it out the next time you’re in town. Which is…

God. June, I think? 

…

Anyway… I’m still at the very beginning stages of my research, so I barely know what it is I want to write about yet. But one thing that’s stuck out to me so far is how old these buildings feel. How the architecture, the acoustics, the artwork, the — 

…

Honestly? I’m not sure exactly what does it, but something makes these buildings feel as though they’ve stood here forever. This particular church has only been here about 350 years. But still… You feel all that time when you walk through its halls. 

It’s a good reminder, I think. To know how long things last. 

…

Wow. So this is how it feels to be on the other side of these long, rambling, stream of consciousness voicemails. 

[Faint laughter.]

Bye, Colin. Thank you for lending me your future ear. 

~~~~~~~~~~

March 11th, 2020 - 5:55 PM

To: colin 🤡 

From: pen 💛

Hi! I just got off my train. I assume you’re still in the air, so just text me whenever you land. 

Hopefully the airport wasn’t too chaotic, but um…

…

I’ll meet you at the hotel. I — 

I can’t wait to see you. 

[tobiasdrake]

Impromptu Story Time just outside the walls is over; Back to infiltrating.

See? What'd I say. We're inside the gates now, because nothing is ever locked to a sufficiently determined burglar. And at this point, we have a lot of experience burgling things that shall not be burgled.

Oh good, they're opening the front doors for us. That's always a good sign.

I'm sympathetic to your motives but factionally opposed to you nonetheless. Get out of the way or we're going to have to do the violence.

Credit where it's due, that is a fire comeback.

This is not a conflict that can be solved diplomatically, Brugaves. Get out of the way or we do the violence. Those are the options. Pick one.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little intimidated about fighting our mentors. But also, we killed Torment so I have a big well of confidence to draw from.

Did you just try to pull "Control your hysterical sibling" on us!?

Oh, I am about two seconds from taking "Step aside" off the list of options and going straight to the violence. Zale does not speak for me. I sometimes speak for him. That's how our dynamic works.

Wait, we're in time to thwart the waking ritual? Good to know. Thanks for that tidbit.

Now choke on my staff.

I want you to know that this brings me no joy.

...

Okay, actually, this brings me some joy because it's very nostalgic. Despite everything, there's a strong sense of "If things were different I would very much love to be having this sparring session with you." This is fun in a tragic way.

But things aren't different so fucking back down already.

Oh shit. Right. Stalling for time. I walked my bloodthirsty ass right into that.

It's okay. We can make up for this. There's no time inside the castle so, logically, it's impossible for enough time to pass that the ritual is completed. Therefore, I hereby demand that the Dweller ritual remain suspended in-progress indefinitely.

...

Okay, I think the metaphysics heard me. We should be clear to take our time now. That's how it works, right?

Honestly, this place would just seem like your basic tinkerer's workshop if not for all the organic Dweller gunk infecting the clockwork.

I wonder what the Watchmaker thinks of all this crap getting on her lovely mechanisms?

OH MY GOD THEY LOOK LIKE LITTLE WORKSHOP ELVES

But it's actually eternal child labor! Which. In a way. Is kinda what workshop elves are too. Huh.

Well, in any case, it looks like we've found Cael and his crew. Let's see if they want to help us really piss off Aephorul.

...okay, you are not what I anticipated when I was told there'd be immortal children in this workshop.

You know what, you're right. I have a talent for pissing people off and making unnecessary threats. You do the talking, Garl. You're pretty much the master at inoffensive diplomacy.

No amount of skill points can defend against a Nat 1. That will do, Garl. Let me take over.

Yeah, but you own it. You've got this whole Ancient Gnome Head Researcher vibe that's working for you, and you're leaning into it. The outfit really brings it together. 10/10 Brilliant fashion choice.

Yeah, Teaks told me how that works. Though I'm surprised that the castle doesn't let you mature but does let you age. The rules of magic are obnoxiously arbitrary sometimes.

Oh shit. He's calling you out, Serai. Does your mystery secret have something to do with this place? Are you the Watchmaker or something?

Oh, we're just going to breeze past that. Okay.

That's fine. I'm even more curious than ever but I do trust Serai. I mean, if she had any ill intent, she could have slit all of our throats while we slept and then portaled away before anyone was the wiser. Instead, she tried to thwart Strife's revival and helped us kill Torment.

She has earned more than enough leeway to come clean about her secrets on her own time or keep it to herself forever.

[lunargazing-png]

What would each faction/species think about the Gems?

SPLATS AGAINST MY SCREEN. Hi, thank you so much for sending in an ask 😁😁!! I love questions like this and ur feeding my au braincell by sending them in 🤲 I am so appreciative! I think the BEST way I could organize this is to put it into a list format, so that's exactly what I'll do! Sorry if this is a little rambly and incoherent, it's usually what's happening in my brain to begin with so /lh This is also going to be so damn long and also im gonna probably make a pt.2 of this. I apologize, I hope u like long reads !!🙏

Funny that you specify factions, because in my AU there isn't any official "citadel race" differentiation. Most other races (including the Krogan, Quarians, Drell, Volus, Elcor, Hanar, Batarians, and Geth) are now a part of the major decision-making through universal voting instead of being voted by the Citadel Councilors individually. They still take care of personal affairs but each race has a citadel councilor now. This is important because there's a lot of political tension regarding how they're dealing with the Diamond Empire's sudden takeover.

The Asari, being quite well known for their diplomacy, were probably the first to try and control the chaos of what was happening diplomatically when the Diamond Empire decided to roll in. I imagine that Asari believe that most things can be an easy discussion. They easily spot common ground to form bonds with individuals from the Gem race. They're both usually mono-gender presenting, and both their people in higher authority are referred to as matriarchs. Azure Diamond (or blue diamond) is the overseer of law and represents justice in the empire, and the asari counselor firmly believes that they're the only Diamond who will listen. Azure isn't... very level-headed when it comes to talking to other species, though. The Asari are the only ones she can stand.

The Salarians hate how smart Gems are. Their technology, the way they work, and the way they strategize is something of equal fascination and envy. They like to be one step ahead of the enemy, but when Sur'Kesh was suddenly overrun by this unknown force, saying they were pissed was an understatement. They are putting their best men on the front lines to learn more and find weaknesses to them. The STG specifically is working extremely closely with the Turians and Humans to figure out what the hell is going on and organizing armies to combat the colonization of their home planet. The salarian councilor carries many regrets of initially refusing to provide aid to Earth during the Reaper War, so she's feeling the karma coming to bite her in the ass. I think a lot of Salarians are carrying the ideal of 'think three steps ahead' when making contact with Gems, and especially about Pink Diamond since she's the spearhead of the colonization efforts of the Empire.

The Turians are entirely concerned about Yellow Circuit Diamond. They are full-blown head-to-head with the sheer amount of force that her domain has, and they're already having trouble keeping up with Pink Diamond's armies. While turians pride themselves in how they go about warfare and they stick to a code, Yellow is downright dirty in her tactics and isn't afraid to show how heartless she is when it comes to how she values the life of her soldiers. They're still recovering from Palaven's takeover from the Reaper War, and it's basically like re-opening a fresh wound. The turian councilor is concerned about how his armies are fairing and has ordered most of his soldiers to have a 'shoot on sight' policy. Every turian has a job to do and that is the bare minimum.

Humans are feeling the whole 'oh god not THIS again' schtick, and they see the gems as a major threat. They've had too many colonies get wrecked by the Reaper War, and Earth is still in SHAMBLES as it tries to recover. I think this is a fun thing to mention, but I imagine that the planet is so fucked that the empire is like 'Errr... do we want this one?' and so set it aside, which is probably the first mistake that Pink Diamond makes. Shoutout to the INDOMITNABLE human spirit, cause those fuckers are not shy to spread out and help the other races. They've learned the first time not to ignore when things are going wrong with the Reapers, they are NOT making that same mistake again. The human counselor holds the value of 'no one gets left behind' and she's willing to spread her numbers around to aid a little bit in every place she can. She focuses on the bigger picture.

The Krogans are motivated more than ever. They have families to defend now and are doing everything in their power to fight for a greater future under Urdnot Wrex's word. The councilor is no stranger to this entire escapade and is on the front lines of the war himself, leaving his council chair absent from all of the political discussion. The krogan see the Gems as something similar to the Geth heretics; machines of some kind with the intelligence to kill. That in itself is enough of a reason and they don't care who or what sort of domain they represent. They just want them gone. Interestingly enough, I don't think all krogan think that way. While it would be amazing that every single krogan listens to Wrex, I believe there are probably several clans that have deflected after not sharing his beliefs on the matter of reconstruction of their society while also combatting the empire. I think the common belief between these folks is that they don't believe in the vision or they're just unwilling to accept the change. I imagine The Blood Pack working undercover with Gem mercenaries to gain some sort of political headway over Clan Urdnot.

The Quarians are already defending their homeworld again from being taken over. They are ALL too familiar with synthetic uprisings, and the Gems are just another thing to worry about. Instead of moving forwards, it feels like two steps backward for these poor folks. They're more nervous than ever as they race to re-colonize their planet from Azure Diamond's soldiers. Can you imagine the anger of fighting back your planet, only for someone else to take it before you? There's anger and confusion and the Quarian councilor is butting heads with the asari and how they're dealing with azure. They think they're too light, too curious, too diplomatic. You want to talk about justice? They will show the Gems justice.

[10holmes]

It is done.

Synopsis:

SVSSS meets 2ha/Erha and make it LiuJiu.

An angsty exploration of Shen Jiu's character and the painful ordeal of being known and learning to trust, with a hopeful ending for LiuJiu.

Tags:

Angst with a Happy Ending ; Misunderstandings ; Hurt + Comfort ; Open & Hopeful Ending ; Enemies to Lovers speed run ; Rivals to Lovers ; Shen Jiu just needs a hug

Sneak Peak Snippet:

Unable to mask and swallow down his displeasure and irritation (and sadness), Shěn Qīngqiū now addressed Liǔ Qīnggē with scornful bitterness (…maybe being a little too unfairly pissed off at him, considering Yuè Qīngyuán actually deserved most of his anger… but, as so often, Shěn Qīngqiū just failed to properly reign in his temper…).

“Well, look who’s finally decided to grace us with his presence! Not that I expected you brute to be punctual…” he, thus, sneered at the Bǎi Zhàn peak lord in lieu of a greeting.

The other just scoffed in reply, sending the scholar a hateful glare right back: “I don’t take criticism from one that is still vain enough to waste qi because he’s concerned about his delicate face in the middle of a fight… What a joke…”

Had Shěn Qīngqiū had his fan in hand, he would have probably cracked its spine in quiet rage at the man’s words (and yet again complete misinterpretation of the matter…).

This absolutely moronic condescending prick! What did he even know!!

… nothing of course… and with Shěn Qīngqiū unable to explain himself, without revealing his shameful background, he had to let the slight stand… merely narrowing his eyes and sending the other peak lord the deathliest death glare he could manage, before spitting at him venomously: “What is the point of you being here anyway? I am almost finished, as you can see, so your help is not needed any longer… Why don’t you just go back to your peak again and leave me be? No need to force yourself to stand my vain presence and for me to have to abide your pea brain…”

The brute had the guts to actually laugh humourlessly at that – or more specifically at him: “Trust me, I’d also much rather be anywhere else than here, but the sect leader’s command was clear… And I do actually follow the tasks and missions I’m given instead of using them to slack off somewhere else…”

These next words hit Shěn Qīngqiū as if the brute had taken his Cheng Luan and impaled him with it… and then given the blade another good painful twist for good measure, before ripping it back out again…

The false unjustified accusation made Shěn Qīngqiū swallow bitter bile. He felt the urge to retort something to defend himself now… even though he knew he had only himself to blame for letting the man and his Qī-ge believe that he had truly used the pretence of going on a mission to instead debauch himself in lecherous sexual acts, while people were left to suffer…

(…although he had been meaning to go on said mission right after stabilizing his core… specifically even had chosen a mission that didn’t seem that dire yet and allowed for some breathing room and a low possibility of things growing worrisome, while Shěn Qīngqiū was shortly indisposed…)

Of course, Shěn Qīngqiū ultimately couldn’t say anything in his defence and had to, yet again, merely grit his teeth and take the insult, damning himself further in the eyes of his shidi and fellow peak lord by not disagreeing…

“Get lost.” Was the only barbed reply the, for once witless, scholar finally came up with, before unceremoniously turning away from the Bǎi Zhàn peak lord to, at last, dedicate all his focus to the still very much visible, wide-open dimensional tear… adamantly staring at the bright qi in front of him without blinking… burning away the furious tears that had suddenly stupidly enough started to rise to his eyes unbidden...

[gilliesmemes]

𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐌𝐄𝐊𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐍 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐒 𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝟎      !     /    sentence starters pulled callmekevins playthrough of mile 0 , prequel to road 96.   change whatever you want to suit your character interactions .

 oh my god , what has he taken ?

now, lets hop in a strangers car.

your dog die or something ?

i might play video games instead. that’s how i escape my problems.

aha ! i found an escape.

i’m not really one for tourism in a country run by a dictator.

i feel a little on edge here.

i’m taking that threat at face value.

i need some chaos, everything has been too organized.

now we’re talking, explosives ! let’s get in there.

oh god, he’s very upset.

does he have that type of power, though ?

then the manger came out and said i was the best escapist they’ve ever seen.

yeah, tony hawk move there.

we’re killing a lot of people, this is great.

oh my god , you don’t know anything about personal space.

i will kill you immediately , that’s what friends are for - murdering each other.

i want it to seem like someone died in here.

that looks kind of crappy, to be honest.

what the hell is yours supposed to mean ?

yeah, they’re both equally good.

i don’t even know who said that, a ghost perhaps ?

i’m just so obnoxious.

can i just throw them in the trash ?

i don’t really wanna do this job , i just wanna get the credit for doing it.

forty seven people injured in town square, read all about it in tomorrows paper.

oh, i didn’t see you there.

ah ! oh , sorry... the corner scared me.

can you just give me a second ? i’m trying to rob you.

my kd ratio is insane.

i have been destroying the place with no reasoning just because i can get away with it.

maybe the government are lying.

we’ve been truman show’d !

if you didn’t believe the government didn’t engage in propaganda here, you’d be pretty fucking stupid.

i do ! i just agreed with everything you said !

annoying poster guy in the park is my favourite hobby. also , he’s dead.

i forgot to update you , i killed him earlier.

that is the lamest dare i’ve ever heard.

i dare you to jump off the building.

pretty ironic to say i found it in the dumpster.

i jump in trash and then he quits , like yeah i’m done with that one.

push him. push him off the seat so he falls into the mud.

you’ve probably never even seen your father.

look at his little stupid face about to go down in the mud !

yeah , sucks to be you kiddo.

he looks like a guy who a kid could just sneak by into our house.

oh my god , how did you run so fast ?

that is the creepiest thing you could’ve said.

i need the worlds gnarliest rumba that’ll just shred everything on the floor.

i kinda like this dude, he’s just so naive.

i’m just causing so much chaos all the time no matter where i am.

i feel a little bad.

he almost had another kill on his belt !

jesus , what a neighbourhood.

he’s a lunatic.

now what , are you going to try and eat me ?

i like the dramatized version.

tell me this secret of yours or i’ll push you off the building.

oh, look ! it’s the square where i murdered everyone , good times.

stop trying to force me to talk about things i don’t want to talk about.

i’m going to snap my own neck.

i don’t think it’s about whether the government did it or not.

i just always assume the government are up to shenanigans to be honest. 

that’s not how i thought he would sound for some reason.

that’s his memory of it ... then he’s also like and i was doing some sick kick flips and jumping over ramps while the explosions were going off.

was that not enough ?!

WHAAA - oh wait , i already knew that.

oh no, i’m going to get pulled into this aren’t i ?

no it sounds complicated for you. i don’t want to get involved in this.

yeah , she seems like a big fan.

she’s still waving , she’s still there.

he sounds pretty pissed off.

can i just walk away ?

i don’t think he’d make an announcement about that.

okay that was unnecessary , that was just demeaning. 

this is getting weirder and weirder.

this is getting a little bit stressful now.

i'm playing to win , i am not a good loser. actually no , i'm a very good loser  -  i'm not a graceful loser is what im saying... i'm a sore loser.

stop distracting me , i'm winning.

did you make a whole scale model of his house ?

seems reasonable , yeah lets risk our lives for this.

the cops are closing in , you're in now so we got to get this done tonight.

mom will help , don't worry.

i just think cops are so cool , those guys are really cool.

please let me go now.

anyway, time to go straight to ( name's ) house and break in.

i managed to ditch my parents, i'm ready for the revolution.

i play the triangle, i never said i was a singer.

your eyes aren't as wonky as your posters would suggest. 

my mixtape ! how could i forget my mixtape. 

do i actually want to help him ? i don’t want to.

these past twelve hours have been good to you.

why is he holding onto the receipt ... are they going to business expense it ? 

the problem is ... i know the file wont be there when i get up there.

i’ve seen enough loony  toons back in the city to know that’s a fake.

god the standards are pretty low here.

is this my entry test ?

y’know , personal revenge and all that.

i want to take the gun and just shoot him.

is this how he sees it ? well , no wonder he's pissed off.

we’re all new comers to this behaviour.

that was a bit stupid, wasn’t it ?

yeah , it is kinda lame actually.

what ? you abandoned me !

[theskywaslookingback]

❄️🍉💖

🍉 Are you a planner, or are you more of a “eh we’ll see how this one goes” -type of crafter?

I’m more of a “how hard can it be” type of crafter. I think of something and go “well, how hard could that be?” and then I either crush it or learn “much harder than expected, actually”. I have done that for literally EVERYTHING I currently make. Cricut? How hard can it be? Punch needle? How hard can it be? Resin? How hard can it be? Polymer clay? How hard can it be? Stained glass? [I am forcibly yanked off the stage]

💖 Which one of your creations are you the proudest of? Show off!

This fucking shadow box from hell that took like 20 working hours to make and STILL hasn’t sold but is one of THE most gorgeous pieces I’ve ever made in my entire life

❄️ Do you have any crafting (either craft or community related) pet peeves?

(Saving the best because im a petty bitch and have Many)

- This is really vendor specific but I HATE event vendor group chats So Fucking Much. They are full of the absolute dumbest people on God’s green earth made specifically to annoy ME. Just a laundry list of “your reading comprehension is piss poor / how dare you say I piss on the poor” ass people. I have so many examples but the worst most recent one was the day before Easter we had an event in town that had been discussed for MONTHS beforehand. The event coordinator had sent us the set up info on multiple occasions, like I’ve actually never done a more organized event. So we’ve been told many times the set up time was 9am, show time was 11am, okay? The night before the event coordinator sends a message saying basically “hey yall I need you to park on x side of the building and at 10:30am we’re gonna lock the x side entrance doors” and people fucking LOST IT. Like there were IMMEDIATELY ten messages being like “so we only have thirty minutes of set up??????” I hate vendor chats. These people are so fucking stupid.

- I’m in a bunch of Facebook groups for beginners to ask questions in and the thing that just drives me insane is when people are like “hey I bought x thing at the store, how do i decorate it?” like????? However you want?? It’s for you?? What are you even talking about

- Also Facebook related but anyone who can’t read directions on shit and then asks why their resin piece fucked up make me so annoyed

- Also also people who just post a picture and then say “what’d i do wrong” with no further elaboration?? Idk man, what am I looking at??

- craft specific: pet peeve when I get poked by wire when making ribbon wreaths

- also when I misjudge where my finger is when deburring resin and nick my finger 😠

- when fabric won’t lay flat for a fucking iron on

- when the transfer tape gets a crinkle on top of a decal and makes the decal go a little wonky is my fucking 9/11

[cbsghostsmetasandtrevor]

CBS Ghosts - Hello! - The Game Continues

Warning - Spoilers may appear.

OMG SAM!  

Poor Steve!  We know that Sam is USUALLY much nicer when it comes to people, but at this point, it has been at least a day and she’s SO PISSED that she doesn’t care about offending them.  In fact, she probably wants to be rude enough that they DON'T want to be around her.

The look on her face when she realizes that she just insulted the cable guy is like “OMG”. She feels so bad, and poor Steve... they both have no idea what's going on.

Aww, Jay’s just like “Real person, right here.”   He doesn't get it at all, I wonder if he doesn't believe Sam about the ghosts since he can't really understand.

Totally over the whole ‘ghost things’.  Oh, Jay, you have no idea.

THOR! What are you doing, bro?  He’s just yelling and cursing everyone and Sam’s just like ‘GOD I LOOK SO STUPID’.  

Don't worry, Sam that never goes away. Poor Sam.

Poor Sam.  It’s just so terrible for her to be put in this position.

I am amused that Thor’s so easily distracted - OOOOH, My Kin!

And then, he completely forgets the mission and just watches TV.

Okay, Let me get this straight.  Pete’s just waiting for her and trying to stalk her around the house - clearly the most into this next to Sass and yet... he’s just happy to do it?  Wonder why?

Is he thinking long-term? Is he thinking that just getting her to acknowledge them is enough?

I love this moment.  You can clearly see Sam’s resolve fading when she answers Pete and then, when he sees Alberta, he’s like “Oh, time to pass her off”.  It’s almost like they’ve organized some sort of game here. I wonder how they decided that or it was just a tag game. "Tag, you're it!"

Alberta’s still stuck on trying to figure out who murdered her and apparently thinking that Sam would have a murder mystery dinner party.  

Okay, Alberta - say Sam agrees, why do you think ANYONE alive would be able to answer the question?  It's been 93 years. You think whoever did it wrote a diary or something?  Would their descendent randomly tell some stranger just for - fun?  Like how do you think this would work?

I REALLY need to know.

It's amazing given these facts that Sam does solve it (albeit, one of the ghosts is harboring the secret making it easier).

Alright - this is interesting.  It was Trevor’s idea, but this is the ONLY time that he tries to be a part of it and it doesn’t seem like he is trying to drive her crazy like the others.

I THINK he genuinely thinks there’s a connection with her - maybe it’s the idea that the fall connected them.  Maybe it’s just that he’s always wanted someone to connect with again - like he says later on in JS or Maybe it’s that he’s excited to have someone knew around.  

Despite the fact that she’s married and he’s a ghost - he wants there to be a connection and it does make some sense that he might be feeling something and hopeful that she does, too. 

Unfortunately, he’s headed for heartbreak and over the line, but I think being dead has definitely impacted why he’s just like ‘aren’t you feeling something?’ despite the obvious reasons nothing can happen.  

Trevor’s my focus, so I’ll get into it later but he has a very interesting arc when it comes to his LI and what he wants and it starts here with Sam and it goes through many different interests (quite surprising number when you think about it) throughout the two seasons and we learn why along the way.  

And I’m excited to get into it later, but I feel for both Sam and Trevor here.  

thanks for reading :) Feel free to chat.

[sebastianshaw]

CAN THEY USE CHOPSTICKS: Quite well!

WHAT DO THEY DO WHEN THEY CAN’T SLEEP:  Drinks, probably. Maybe fucks. 

WHAT WOULD THEY IMPULSE BUY AT THE GROCERY STORE: I don’t think Shaw impulse buys or visits grocery stores. 

WHAT ORDER DO THEY WASH THINGS IN THE SHOWER:   I am not going to think about this and you can’t make me

WHAT’S THEIR COFFEE ORDER: Espresso (single to triple), black, or black with cream, always a very high quality gourmet blend brand. Shaw’s got very strong opinions on coffee, as with whiskey and wine and tea and fragrances, but he’s also got ZERO judgement on like. . .really fancy complicated Starbucks orders that people like to make fun of. He might judge you for serving him a brand/blend he considers swill, but he’s absolutely not judging the hipster girl in front of him who gets a caramel venti mocha frappe latte or what have you. He thinks it’s weird people judge that, actually. Which is cool until you remember he’s still judging, just something else. 

WHAT SORT OF APPS WOULD THEY HAVE ON THEIR SMARTPHONE: Apps related to business, organizing, stocks, calendars/scheduling, and exercise/fitness. No games, no social media, and actually no hookup apps either. He doesn’t need those, his hookups come to him. 

HOW DO THEY ACT AROUND CHILDREN: Shaw is literally like a Dickens villain. He emotionally and physically abused his one canon child before abandoning him altogether, and I have no doubt he’s done the same to the many other children I headcanon he has. He treats his own children more cruelly because of his insanely high standards for them, but he’s certainly not kind to other kids either. Cold dismissal is the best-case scenario for any interaction between Shaw and a child. Also genuinely thinks they should be working in factories and mines again, though weirdly that’s got nothing to do with hating them and more to do with just genuinely not seeing why anyone shouldn’t be allowed to work based on age (and the fact he probably was a child worker himself under the table to help support himself his father as a kid, especially when his dad got sick.) Will hit a child, and with little provocation. Also would have no moral qualms taking candy from a baby except that’s off his diet.

Seriously Shaw is at a whole ‘nother level of “fuck them kids”

WHAT WOULD THEY WATCH ON TV WHEN THEY’RE BORED AND NOTHING THEY REALLY LIKE IS ON: I don’t think Shaw really even watches TV now that he can get most of his news from digital media. History channel, I guess. Maybe old movies that came out when he was a kid that he never got to see in theatres because he was too poor at the time. If Ghostbusters is on, that’s a fave of his, but the question said nothing he really likes is on? So I guess that wouldn’t be an option. I guess he’d watch horse racing/horse shows, car shows, maybe some Mythbusters because the engineering angle would appeal to him, probably a lot of Shark Tank type stuff. I think he might start watching Tiger King because the name sounds intriguing, but stop quickly because it’s just a showcase of various super dysfunctional personalities clashing in pointless drama towards inevitable failure, and he’s not interested in that. Like I think it would genuinely just piss him off. As a note though, the person who tagged me answered RuPaul’s Drag Race for their muse (Eros at @erosoftitan, go follow!) , and while I don’t think Shaw would ever choose to watch Drag Race on his own, I think if he ended up watching it somehow he’d actually be into it to a surprisingly (or not so surprising?) degree because of the competition angle and the work and effort the queens put into their costuming. I feel like he’d end up having Very Serious Opinions about who should win each challenge. My god, this could actually be something he and Shinobi bond over! Because you can’t tell me Shin isn’t a Drag Race nut.

Tagged by: @erosoftitan ​

Tagging: anyone but I especially challenge @sammysdewysensitiveeyes for Pyro, @katatonicimpression for Monet, @fiddlingonthetympanic, @fatummortem for TJ or Rose, @emmatriarchy for Topaz or Emma or Sage or Sarah or Maddie, @pndorawrites​ for Ajak or Talia or Kom, @deitysmuses​ for Maddie, @bothsidesofaquestion​, @kryptonianclone​ @huneibadger​ @mercyxgraves​, @southern-belle-outcasts​ for Remy or Rogue or Nilza, @therippingtides Ray, and @katzchxn because hi nice to see you again!

[boyakishan]

Mather post or something. Read more is basically old rant.

Old new old post.

Sup. My name's Boyakishan, I'm a writer and I'd mind if you'd fuck right off if you're a nazi terf, radfem and uh. More words here.

If you think any person of any kind, without exception of anything and within reason, have the right to both exist and do things regardless of if they're actively or not actively causing harm to others or being a bother to others.

Or if you're gonna make a big fucking deal out of it and act like that's correct and not just your stance on reality. I'm not gonna argue with someone who's assured they're in a world populated with elephants or sm.

And that's the word count for the stupid cunts.

Alright, so. My name's Boyakishan, I'm a writer, weird self identifying system (I'm not making a big deal out of it or whatever, don't worry about it).

Head to @boyakishantrinity if you want more writing stuff.

@boyakishantriage for. Main stuff?

And uh, @boyakishantriobeta exists.

Dunno what I'm doing here, but be aware. I am big dumb, I explain badly and like. Probably smarter to block me because I'll probably end up pissing you off somehow or sm ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

Hi. If you're here to insult me, go ahead.

If you're here to ask any questions about eh blogs @boyakishantriage or the bitchy @boyakishantrio-beta . Go right on ahead.

Rp is at the Triage account, y'know how to use your brain.

No I'm not sorry, yes I'm very blunt and please tell me if I'm rude or anything really.

Also, don't expect anything from me. Like every person on here, I can't read what your saying. So just say bluntly, what I did wrong and what you want.

I give advice and AO3 will be added because surprise surprise I'm a writer.

Oh and advice means anything. Just DM or communicate and I'll see what I can help with. Not a professional of course.

Dear god I'm not a professional.

Anywho. If you're still reading this. Hi :)

https://www.tumblr.com/boyakishan/707856863838027776/state-what-the-problemmain-point-what-u-want-me

^tldr: if ya send anything be blunt and state what it is, what post and what U want me to do about it TO THIS ACCOUNT. Or you can try talking to Triage. Since, y'know. She isn't me. Good luck m8.

Old masterpost

Hi

I'm an Chinese, Malaysian Australian with about as much loyalty as a semi experienced hooker. I have some normal clients, no one knows about the other people and the people who do know each other don't know I'm talking to them.

I'M ON AO3, SAME NAME. @boyakishannarrative for some previews.

To be clear: I am kind of an asshole and I don't care in that. I treat everyone the same, unless otherwise needed, and it's because I care too much. I'm "more mature for my age". Or, I'm at that point when you're really old and you've lived life. It's done and you just. Don't care. You're gonna die. And you're content with it. It still terrifies you and if you don't have to, you're gonna take up. Etc.

I like to DM interesting people. It's confidential and I can give advice, no guarantees tho because I have no idea what I'm doing.

Contrary to the confidence or arrogance I permeate I have no idea what I'm doing.

I'm writing a novel thing. Aura and ReAura. It's on AO3 by the same name as this.

I'm a blunt narcissistic delusion insane dumbass with the equivalent qualifications as most dogs. I'm more wise than intelligent.

Tldr: I might be the greatest asshole you'll ever meet. Or I'm about as delusional as you can get and I'm very deep into the dunning Kruger effect.

I dunno, but I like to help and take chances.

Oh and if ya wanna see cute stuff as I find it, request to join the "CuteList." And I'll update ya.

I follow under philosophies such as

Fuck it

Fuck you

Well this is happening I guess

Well that happened

Life's dumb.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Etc

Note:

Desc

Later

Save

Tuti