#<- using this tag bc I want this to reach more people who maybe will find this relatable

[babeclownart]

I've been here for so long That my shadow left an imprint on the wall From the same place where I cast it every day until dawn From the same chair, I'm writing the same song And I wrote all night But I erased all of it cause all of it was wrong

...Why is it me singing the same song?

[orcelito]

It's a little funny. I spend so much time compartmentalizing that I convince myself I'm totally fine, of course, all the time.

But when I was filling out the questionnaire before my therapy appointment yesterday, it was like

.... OK yea maybe I have some problems

Also this one 😂😂😂

[lizzieisright]

hey hurt/comfort idea:

soo what about the reader and abby being best friends for years and reader always had a crush on abby. they go to a party and abby introduces her new gf to u. she always liked her but thought reader didn’t (always a bit horny around reader, but they know eachother since childhood so abby mistakes readers flirting as being flirty like friends) so reader gets absolutely hartbroken, drinks till she passes out but abby takes care of her ofc. abbys gf is always with her tho so it just hurts even more.

she avoids abby till the next frat prty or smth (maybe it’s college!au) and then they hook up, abby can’t remember cause she’s too drunk and is back w her gf

very messy but i hope u get the idea :P

(also to make it more hurtful make abby mean while she’s drunk bc she’s going through a rough time but isn’t telling anyone)

It took me so long, I'm so sorry

Palestine: what can you do

I've changed a few things (they don't hook up) because I can't deal with cheating, and I couldn't decide on what ending I wanted so there's a poll in the end.

Tags: Modern AU, childhood friends, Angst, pining and unrequited love, of course.

_______________

Abby is a fucking God, and you come to this conclusion when you're 11 and she helps you with your stupid assignment.

When you're both 14 you start to understand that what you feel for her is not, in fact, an admiration. 

You come to this conclusion when you sit in her bedroom and she jokes about teaching you how to kiss because you're a loser and you agree - and yeah, the kiss is a mess, but now you both know that you want to kiss girls. And you want to kiss one girl in particular, but Abby is your best friend and you won’t do anything that will lead to losing her.

Being a God means Abby is out of your reach and you have to live with your stupid feelings.

You're jealous of every boy who jokes around her to get her attention.

You're jealous of every girl who dares to look at her a little too long.

Abby is popular and she starts dating and it breaks your heart every time, and you can't look at other people because all your gods look like Abby.

"Why don't you go on a date?" Abby asks once when you're 16 and you're eating pizza in your bedroom, watching another marvel movie. "I think Jen likes you."

"I don't want to." What would be the point if the only person you want to date won't ever look at you this way?

"Why? Don't you get horny like the rest of us mortals?"

The worst part of being in love with your popular best friend is that she recently lost her virginity and she can't shut up about sex because she is excited about it.

"I have my hand, Abby." You roll your eyes at her.

"But it feels better when the other person does it." Abby winks and puts her hand on your thigh. "It's better, isn't it?" She rubs your thigh and your breath hitches. She looks at you, playful, and goes a little up on your thigh, and your face burns.

"You belong in horny jail, Anderson." You laugh, but don't move her hand: if you move it she'll call you a chicken, but she is a chicken enough herself to not move it further.

And she doesn't.

You live your life peacefully, dealing with your feelings as best as you can.

Then college starts and you're too busy to think about Abby 24/7 and you feel like it gets easier. Like you can breathe around her and you almost don't feel pain when she talks about her sex life.

Almost.

You know it's easy to deal with because all those girls in her bed are temporary while you're in Abby's life forever, and not because your feelings suddenly fainted. Abby likes to sleep around, she is a flirt even with you - a lot, actually, she thinks she can get away with a lot by saying she is touch-starved and then her hands wander off somewhere they're not supposed to be, and you let her, because you'll take whatever you can.

So you go through Abby's fuckboy phase with ease, because sex talk is way better than feelings talk.

A few years pass and suddenly the feelings talk starts, and you're slowly dying inside, because Abby likes someone. Abby talks about how nervous she is around her, she is always on her phone texting her, she is always busy when you want to spend time with her.

You hate this girl with all you have, because she takes Abby away, she takes everything away - Abby is not touchy anymore, she only hugs you briefly when you see her, she is not listening to you half of the time, too caught up in her fantasies.

You hope her girl is a bitch and an asshole and toxic so you can talk Abby out of it, but then Abby tells you she is going to introduce you at the party and you cry yourself to sleep that night.

"How do I look?"

"Like you need Jesus." You say honestly because Abby in the muscle tee and a pair of cargo pants makes you ache.

"Yeah?" Abby looks at you through the mirror with that fucking smirk she knows you like. "Am I fuckable?"

"We both know you prefer to be on the other end of that word, Anderson." You roll your eyes and put your shoes on only to straighten up to Abby's face way too close. She looks you up and down.

"You're very fuckable though."

"Fuck off." You huff and open the door of her apartment, hoping she won't tease you for being flustered. "Let's go before Manny gets so drunk you'll have to carry him. Again."

You spent the night in dread of meeting Abby's girl, dreaming of seeing her red flags or something to have a real reason to hate her to Abby's face, but then Abby lights up and she excuses herself to go and meet her girl, while you try so hard to not throw up from your nerves.

The girl is gorgeous.

"This is (y/n)." Abby motions at you and you smile politely. "This is Mia."

"I'm so happy to meet you." Mia smiles and she looks kind and genuine and fuck, you can't hate her. There's no jealousy in her, no fake smiles, no tense body language. "Abby loves you so much."

You swallow hard.

"I put up with so much of her shit, she doesn't have a choice." You joke and Mia laughs.

Mia is funny and cute and you understand why Abby likes her, because it's impossible not to. Mia is a type of girl that you'd think of as a bitch because she is popular, therefore arrogant, but when you get to know her she is a total sweetheart who'd help you find a way to your class if she notices you're lost.

This is hard.

This is going to break you.

You can't cope with this. You can't cope with seeing Abby's gentle gaze on Mia, with her careful touch and constant care. So you excuse yourself and go to the bar to get drunk, as if you can drown your feelings by dragging them to the bottom of the bottle. You dance and you drink, you dance and you drink and repeat it five other times until all long islands make you feel sick and you can't walk by yourself anymore. You're an independent woman and you refuse to ask for help, but when you can't order a taxi for the fifth time because your eyes are so blurry, Mia comes to you and holds you by your elbow.

"We will take you home, okay?" She says kindly and you feel your lips tremble. We.

"Jus- can you c'll a taxi f'me?" You slur, but you feel Abby's hand on your waist as she supports you. "Don't wanna ruin your night."

"You're not ruining anything." Mia says cheerfully and orders a taxi when Abby gives her your address. "Happens to the best of us."

The drive home makes you super dizzy and Abby has to put her hand between your head and the car door because you hit it all the time. The moment the car stops and Abby goes around to help you get on your legs, you throw up on the ground and it's a miracle you don't get everyone's shoes dirty.

Abby decides to carry you to your place and you can't shut up even for a second.

"I'm s'sorry guys. Not a good first impression. I really like you, Mia. You look kind. Like a grandma. In a good way, I'm sorry." Mia giggles. "Your laugh is very cute. It's cute, right Abby?"

"Yeah." Abby agrees quietly and what you don't know is that for her your drunken rant was way cuter than her girlfriend's laugh.

"Yeah. You look great together, I'm s'happy for you Abby. Haven't seen her that nervous because of a girl in years, can you imagine, Mia? You make this asshole nervous." You're chuckling sadly, you want to cry because you don't make Abby nervous.

No, you just embarrass her in front of her girlfriend because you're so pathetically in love you can't deal with it and drink half of the bar until you forget how to walk on your own.

Abby helps you change and Mia gives you water. She makes sure there is fresh air in your room and she tucks your blanket, and you close your eyes to hide your tears because Mia is so nice. She is a dream girl and Abby is so happy and there is no space for you anymore.

Because Mia took your place in that forever equation.

On the next day you text your apologies to both Abby and Mia (she followed you on instagram and asked you how you felt) and you can't deal with this. It hurts so much because you love Abby so much and you want her to be happy but it seems like the price of it is going to be your heart.

So you start avoiding her as best as possible, and what is more sad - it's not even that hard. Abby is always with Mia, fuck, Mia even asks you to come with them to hang out, which you always find an excuse not to. Library, fever, other plans, other plans again, sorry, paper is due tomorrow, my aunt is in town (she is not). Anything to not meet with them.

You still see Abby during classes and you give each other life updates, but it's been weeks since you actually hung out and you accept the reality that yes, there's no place for you in Abby's life anymore.

You cry every fucking night.

Then Abby suddenly remembers you exist and she asks you if you want to hang out, just the two of you, because she misses you. You miss her too and you agree.

You regret it the moment she cuddles you in front of her tv. She has a girlfriend now, why is she so touchy again? Did something happen with Mia that Abby came to you?

"Is everything okay with Mia?"

"Yeah, she is great." Abby says and buries her nose in your neck.

No. You can't deal with this.

So you start avoiding Abby at all costs after this - you can't shake the feeling that this is cheating, because for you Abby's touch has never been platonic, no. And it never felt platonic either, it was always giving you hope because Abby was flirting and touching the way friends don't touch each other. Maybe one day she'd finally give you a chance, you thought, but this day never came.

It is another party a month and half later - yay, Abby and Mia have been together for two months now! - and you don't know if Abby is going to come, but you hope she doesn't. You know she knows something is up and she will want her answers if she meets you.

But you have fun. You play games, you drink, you dance, you get flirted with and you forget about your pain just to get so drunk again you can't help but go outside to find a place to cry in peace.

You miss Abby, you miss her because she is a part of you and yes, you're in love with her, but she also your best fucking friend and you hate yourself for being in love with her, because it ruins your life. It has been ruining your life since you were fourteen and actually understood what you felt, but now it was getting serious.

"(Y/n)?"

Fuck.

You wipe your tears and look at Abby who is standing right in front of you.

"Hi." You squeak and she drops on the knees to look at you.

"Did something happen? Why are you crying?"

"I'm just sad. Don't worry." You try to smile but Abby's frown makes you cry more. "I'm going home anyway, so you can enjoy the party."

"What the hell are you saying? I'm not leaving you."

She should. She should leave you and not complicate it further.

Abby calls a taxi and you chuckle in your head - If you had a nickel for every time Abby was taking your drunk ass home, you'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.

You tell her as much because the meme is funny and you try to be positive.

Abby helps you out of the car and this time you don't throw up.

"You know, last time I totally embarrassed myself in front of Mia." You chuckle and make your way upstairs with Abby's arm around your waist. "She is cute, I'm so happy for you."

Abby chuckles and leads you inside your apartment, but between the two of you she is mostly sober and she has some questions, and she wants her answers. You know this too, so when you sit on your sofa you feel like all your shields are crumbling: you’re giving up on hiding this from her. If this is the end, so be it.

"You've been avoiding me." Abby says quietly, looking you in your eyes like she is just a little bit mad. 

"Yeah, I know." You admit with a chuckle. "You have a girlfriend now, it's so cool. When was the last time you liked someone like that? Back in school?"

"So you've been avoiding me on purpose." 

"I don't think you can avoid someone accidentally, Abby.” You say, not holding back your venom. “Anyway, I’m so happy for you.”

“Why are you avoiding me?” Abby moves closer to you  and you swallow your tears because there’s nowhere to run.

“Because it’s easier.” You shrug. “I just want you to be happy, okay? Does Mia make you happy?”

“Yeah.” Abby admits and you start crying again: it hurts so fucking much. 

“Good. It’s good. I’m happy for you.” You sniffle and Abby huffs, annoyed.

“Stop saying that. Stop avoiding my questions.”

Inside you all hell breaks loose.

“I love you, okay?” You finally burst. “I love you, and it hurts so fucking bad and I can’t fucking see you with her or know that you’re with her! What do you want me to do? What would you do if you were me? I can’t- I can’t-” You throw your hands desperately and bite your lip, too angry with this whole situation.

“I love you too.” Abby says, confused.

“No, no Abby, you don’t understand.” You’re quiet and angry, almost spitting every word out. “I’m in love with you. I’m not jealous as a friend, Abby. I’m jealous because I want to be in her place, okay? Fuck, I wanted to be in your every girl’s place since you started dating girls!” 

There is silence. You thought it would be terrifying - this silence - but right now you feel nothing except how dizzy your head is. You feel empty and there's no tears anymore. Abby stares at you in shock, her fists clenched, and you chuckle cynically. 

“So can I continue avoiding you now or should I suffer more?”

“Fuck, (y/n)..” Abby sighs and rubs her forehead, going over her face with her palm. “Fuck. Don't do this to me.”

“Well.” You huff, annoyed. “Not like I have a fucking choice, Anderson.”

Abby throws her head back and stares at the ceiling while you do the same, trying to keep your drunk ass stable. You feel like eternity passes before Abby speaks again, and it is strangely comforting, having your best friend here with you, in this boat of pain, and sharing it with her. 

“All these years. All these years we could have been together.” Abby sounds like she is mourning. 

You thought your heart broke when you met Mia? Forget it, it's broken now.

You sob, howl almost, and Abby is suddenly holding you in her arms, placing kisses to your hair. Her heart can't handle seeing you cry, never could - yes, she tried to move on with Mia, and it worked partially, but all her effort went to shit just now. You're the most precious girl to her and nothing can change it. Abby swallows and braces herself, suddenly making a decision in her head, all her anxiety about what is a right thing to do gone. 

“You know what? Fuck it. Fuck all that time we've missed. I'm not letting you go now.” Abby says in your ear and you sob even more violently. “Come on, baby, I'm here. Let me see your face.”

You can't believe it. You can't even process it: is it your drunken dream? Are you hallucinating? It would definitely not be the first time. But you look up at Abby and she gently wipes your tears and there’s so much love and hurt in her eyes it’s hard not to break into another sobbing fit. 

“I've been in love with you since we were seventeen.” Abby smiles at you and you shakily smile back. “I’m sorry it came to this. But I'm here now.”

“I love you.” You say feverishly and Abby's restraint breaks.

She kisses you hungrily, practically devouring you, and you're weak, so you return her kiss and press into her, soaking in her warmth and strength. Abby is solid and tender, she holds you like she cares and you cling to her for a moment.

But then you remember yourself and push Abby away, shaking your head.

“No. You're better than this. You're not going to betray Mia like this. I'm not going to let you, Abby. We're not doing this,” You motion between yourself and her. “Behind your girlfriend's back. And I'm also fucking drunk.”

Abby chuckles and kisses your forehead. 

“Come on, I'll help you get into your bed.”

Everything else after is a blur as Abby helps you change and covers you with your blanket, and you fall asleep. You can't wait for the morning to come.

****

[queenofallimagines]

Black!Witch!Mc getting chosen for the exchange program

I was writing about another request but then I specifically thought about how they would try to teach magic to MC but she was doing hoodoo so here we are✨

__________

Student Council:

- First off IMAGINE the audacity of getting kidnapped w no warning and now demons saying you gotta stay here for a full 365 days??

- Unserious

- I’m immediately putting a ‘no demon allowed’ sigils on the inside of my door so they wouldn’t be busting in 24/7 without knocking🙄

- Meeting belphie and telling he’s full of shit

- “I really am a human-“

- “Bullshit, I can feel your bitter ass spirit a mile away”

- Mammon knows what’s good so he’s already with the program

- “I had this bottle of Florida water just laying around. Not like I got it for you or anything but like here I’m throwing it out anyway”

- “I don’t know if human spirits would like this whiskey but like we had it lying around in the kitchen so just take it no one drinks it.”

- Baby I still see the price tag on it,,,,,

- Leaves fancy cigars in your room and when you mention them bc you KNOW they wasn’t there before he’s like “idk maybe you’re imagining things”

- “Satan has been doing research or whatever on human magic so maybe he left there here for ya to find.”

- He WILL gaslight you into thinking he isn’t like being helpful but like he’s not good at it

- Depending on where your from and if you work with more water and Sea based stuff Levi will be drawn to you like a moth to flame

- You smell like sea water and he peeps that

- When your around it feels peaceful like watching waves reaching the shore

- Asks you if you’re secretly like a mermaid

- “Maybe”

- He can not tell if you’re joking with that smirk Mc!!

- He sees you wearing pearls and starts just like giving you more of them

- “I got these from the bottom of that marinara trench or whatever and I thought you’d like them!”

- “You mean the MARINA TRENCH Levi???”

- He probably knows how to make jewelry out of them so he def does

- Gives you earrings and bracelets and says it’s for a cosplay

- “Yeah, the main character is like this really cool pirate queen who’s like secretly a siren.”

- “Oh damn That’s sounds cool what’s the name of it?”

- “…..I forgot but like trust me it’s REALLY good.”

- He is making up FAKE anime to get you to wear his gifts I am so sorry bestie

- Gifts you with seashells

- “I mean like humans pick these up all the time right?”

- “Is there a creature still living in there?”

- “You don’t want a little friend????”

- Please go put that back where you found it😭

- You like to chill in his room the most bc I mean look at it, it’s a big as fuck aquarium and it just feels like a vibe

- Was thinking about getting you this rly elaborate bathtub to keep in his room for you

- Like a blow up mattress💀 but it’s a Victorian claw foot tub

- But then you say that you can just sleep in his with him and he’s struggling to breathe

- “Y-you sure? I mean like I can sleep on the floor-“

- “It’s your room I’m not gunna make you move and besides there’s definitely enough space in there for both of us.”

- Gets all the softest blankets and pillows from all over the house like he’s snatching peoples shit up😭

- Stiff as a board when you first get in but then when he wraps his arms around you he feels at ease like he’s relaxing on the beach at night and knocks out

- Sweats he sleeps the best when you’re with him

- Satan is immediately fascinated

- Trying to see if he can pinpoint the meaning of the jewelry and clothes your wearing just from looking at you

- Noticed you always smell like incense

- Like he knew you were in the house bc he can smell sandal wood and lotus when he walks by

- “You’re not a regular human are you?”

- “You’re not really a regular demon are you?”

- Probably gets into it w you be you’re not taking any of his shit and you’re quick to clap back

- Traps him in a corner with salt

- “Time out. Sit your ass down”

- Stops getting mad somewhere along the line and starts getting turnend on by it

- Like may just set up scenarios behind the scenes that cause you to absolutely loose it

- An euphoric feeling washes over him when he sees you pissed off

- 🙄😒 he setting up scenarios for you to beef w Radom people

- Like it’s enough

- Likes to see you mad at him but he knows he has a limited amount of times he can do that in one sitting as not to damage your relationship

- Finds the way you do magic fascinating

- Throws him off a little bit

- How you just find shit and make it work??

- “Okay so for this spell it says we need like finely aged Demonus, frankincense resin, and blood.”

- “Okay well I got pine needles, old grape juice, and apple cider vinegar.”

- ????

- And he’s literally flabbergasted when IT WORKS PERFECTLY

- “That’s not the rules???”

- “Ion need those that’s optional.”

- “Hello?????”

- Scratching his head in frustration bc like?? YOURE NOT FOLLOWING THE BOOKS AND YET THINGS WORK??

- “Listen, when you don’t have things on hand you gotta substitute. It’s like the same thing kinda if you think about it.”

- “No it’s not!! You can’t substitute mullein for graveyard dirt!”

- “Says who🤨”

- Watches you like a child the way he hovers over you analyzing what you’re doing

- He was waiting on shit to backfire but he sees you doing things with ease and his curiosity is eating away at him

- “How long have you been doing this?? For you to just be quick on your feet like that?”

- “I don’t know? My whole life? It’s just like something you do everyday without thinking.”

- His nosey ass is always in your business

- Asmo is entranced by your appearance

- He can feel the energy coming off the jewelry you wear in an instant

- “Oooo where did you get those?”

- “It’s been passed down to me”

- “What’s the name of your grandparents? I might know who it originally belonged to👀”

- Clown ass will find out he ran through some of your family

- “I remember hearing about this one great great great great cousin that cheated on his soon to be wife and disappeared forever after they got married.”

- “Wait hold on I remember that name! That might have been be lol. I seduced him and then broke up the marriage and made a deal with the wife to make him disappear. Good times”

- “HELLO???”

- Like any generational curse he’s def behind it

- “My aunt cursed the family to never find love” ass shit and he’s like daaaam that’s was me my bad let me left that lol

- Clown

- Has you charm his jewelry

- Even tho he can do it himself he wants to watch you do it

- Beel

- What a sweetheart

- Likes when it’s your turn to cook

- Giving him snacks or cooking food that eases his hunger pains

- He’s holding you like a teddy bear

- Walks into your room like 🥺”snack pwease?”

- Your ancestors love him

- “Go give beel this”

- “….i bought that for YOU”

- “Okay?? Go feed my baby!”

- Like absolutely crazy

- Satan is their fav white boy

- In an “lmao this funky little white bot got some spice in em”

- Like he does In canon like Afro beats so IMAGINE they hear him singing like Marvin Gaye and they’re like “yeah this the one”💀

- The most annoying mf EVER

- He walks into your room and is like “oh I ain’t here for you”

- ????

- “Ayo don’t just roll up in here KNOCK first??”

- “Oh Mc I didn’t come here for you- good afternoon grandma McRae, I wanted to show you I aced my finals😌”

- AND THEY WILL HYPE HIM UP?????

- Mammon is that cousin that you know always in some shit but he’s the one who do the most to help out

- Leaves Grimm on your altar

- You’re surprised he didn’t just snatch it but when you catch him bc it’s been accumulating and you know YOU ain’t put that much there

- “What you mean?? For good luck I ain’t miss yet at the casino”

- Imagine how tired we are

- Will hide Goldie there and they will NOT let Lucifer find it💀

- “Don’t worry baby I got this you run along now” INSANE

- Very “go make sure he ate breakfast this morning” energy

- See now belphie is so annoying

- Hoping and PRAYING that they don’t know about lesson 16 bc it’s like on sight

- Lilith is chilling on that mf altar and she will bring the WHOLE FAMILY to beat his ass

- So imagine they’re not beating his ass 24/7 and this is after the party when you guys made a pact

- He comes into your room while you’re busy to sleep in your bed because why would he sleep in his own if he wants to bother you??🙄

- “Hey Mc I’m gunna sleep in here they’re being too loud.”

- “…..hello and good afternoon to you too, I’m doing great how was your day😐” like he don’t ever be saying hello

- He feels this weird ass vibe in the room and he looks over at your desk

- “You a spell or something? What’s up with all that stuff?”

- “Hm? Oh no it’s just an altar for my ancestors I made one shortly after I got here.”

- Hums before wrapping himself in your blankets

- They all in his dreams whew

- He’s seeing people he’s NEVER seen before glaring at him and being like “you done lost your mind”

- Assumes he’s entered one of your dreams until Lilith is like

- “Why did you do that?”

- He was surprised to see you were related to her the first time

- IMAGINE they show him a flashback of what happens but he gets to see what we saw and Lilith last words to us

- And then he’s surrounded by people being like 😒😒😒

- He’s on his knees crying fr

- Want Lilith to beat up her brothers like “don’t mess w my baby👿” because we’re like her niece or whatever minus a few eons like her direct descendant

- She do not play about you at ALL

- She’s putting the fear of god in him before she’s like “I know you’re sorry and you’re my brother and I love you but don’t do that shit again”

- Only reason he ain’t get it worse is bc you love him💀

- They still baby him to an extent bc he is the baby of the family and since he can talk to them directly he will be asked to deliver messages for them

- but he woke up struggling to breathe

- And you’re like ?????

- Worst nightmare he’s ever had

- Getting all the other babies out the way they like Solomon but in a sneaky way

- “There he go again up to something “

- “I would never🥺” and he’s literally plotting

- They talk to like the most I think because he’s like idk how that works but they seem happy when I leave treats up there

- He runs to them when yall pick on him

- “Leave that baby alone!!”

- Simeon is the golden child obviously

- Picture perfect and so respectful

- Will leave a feather from his wings there just bc

- Everyday it’s “tell Simeon I said hi!”

- Like okay :// enough he can probably go see yall face to face

- Saving the very best for last Lucifer

- Comedy relief

- They be messing w him heavy

- Moving things around so he can’t find it

- His favorite pen runs out of ink and when he gets a a new one it starts working perfectly fine

- Missing matching socks

- Like just bc it’s funny

- They do however see he’s shouldering all this stuff that he really don’t need to and that he’s head over heels

- Suddenly his lunch feels more filling and comforting

- His paperwork seems less like an endless mountain

- When you’re not there he will go to the alter and leave little things

- Also asking them for advice on how to purpose

- All of a sudden you’re getting signs for a wedding

- “Are there even this many doves in the devildom????”

- “A wedding or union is in the future”

- “?? What do you mean by that auntie?”

- “😊”

- “WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT!!”

- Jokingly mess w him bc COME ON it’s Lucifer!

- Stressing him out is like prime entertainment

- Honorary members of the anti-Lucifer league

- Satan leaves a little pin in there that says that LMAO

- Lucifer internally sighing bc wow his family got even bigger (he is not complaining, glad to see more of Lilith kin and how she had such a long strong lineage)

[runningfrom2am]

cold nights // part fifteen

summary: you showed him colours he knows he can't see with anyone else.

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 3.1k

masterlists / nav / requests

tags/warnings: tribute!reader and mentor!coriolanus, r is very sweet (too kind for this world. literally.), sunshine x grumpy trope kinda, he falls first, violence typical for the source material, r is very smart (as she should), district twelve!reader.

a/n: another happy birthday post for @that-veela-girl bc i love her and thank you so so much for supporting me and reading my stuff and helping me with it too AH it just means so much to me!!

my asks are also open to talk about this series! (i do have emoji anons open now too!)

send me any and all of your thoughts! here!

series masterlist // playlist

You didn't talk about a single important thing in the hour that followed. You had changed into more comfortable day clothes, something Coryo instantly thought made you look more like yourself, and somehow made your way outside onto the back porch swing.

"Did you win your prize?" You ask, staring out over the meadow behind your home as you gently rock the bench back and forth with one foot on the ground.

"I did." He smiles, unable to take his eyes off of you. You catch him staring as you turn to look at him, an excited smile on your face.

"Did you really?" You grin, excitedly reaching out and placing your hands on his thigh, hoping that it wasn't a joke.

"I did, yeah." He confirms, chuckling. "Highbottom was very against it, but the odds weighed against him." Coryo shrugs.

"Oh, Coryo, that's wonderful. Congratulations." You pat his leg before removing your hands, retreating them to your own lap.

"I owe it all to you."

"Why is that, anyway?" You ask, eyes once again focussed on the wind forcing the grass this way and that. "I knew you needed people to like me, but you never told me why."

He lets out a breath while he delays his response. "Well... The task they gave us was to turn the tributes into something people could get attached to- something people wanted to watch." He explains. "You made it easy. I just needed to get people to see you for who you were. To see that you were worth watching. That you were special." He shrugs, looking down at his lap and picking at his nails. "It helped that Sejanus's family paid out the prize, I think." He chuckles.

"Ah." You nod, not wanting to think about it anymore but still glad you got answers. "Is he upset with me?"

"Sejanus?" Coryo asks and you hum. "No, not one bit." He promises.

"I-I mean..." You stammer, taking a deep breath. "About Marcus?"

"No." Coryo repeats, shaking his head. "He left before the games started, he didn't see what happened. I explained it to him before we even left the arena, though. He felt bad for even thinking for a moment you had done something wrong."

"You're sure?" You ask quietly, eyes brimming red as you look over at him. He nods. He wants to reach out and touch you, hold your hand, but he's unsure if that's even okay. Even after what happened the night before the games, now you were treating him very much as a friend. He didn't want to overwhelm you, so he would leave those questions for another day.

"Positive."

"You don't speak of your Dean favourably." You comment, wanting to change the subject. "Why? He was very good to me."

"You met him?"

"He saw me off at the train station." You nod. "Gave me some cash, promised me that compact would make it back to you."

"Oh..." He mumbles. "He just has some vendetta against me. I don't know why."

"I see." You nod. "That makes sense... He told me that I was lucky I survived you. It was odd."

Coryo chews the inside of his cheek, and it was his turn to look out over the scenery while you watched him. "He's always hated me. I've done nothing to him."

"I did not think you would." You defend quickly, the air becoming thick around you. You answered too promptly- he would know that you were afraid. Maybe think you were lying. Even as he sat next to you, smiling more than you had ever seen him do it before, you couldn't look at him the same.

Coryo can sense that you still don't want to talk about the games in any major capacity, and it was in his best interest to not bring up Bobbin, so he changes the subject. "Your cat is adorable, by the way." He can tell that makes you comfortable enough to relax again. He missed you looking at him.

"Isn't he?" You smile, shifting your gaze from him to the back door, hoping to catch a glimpse of your pet in the small window. "He's a sweetheart."

"I'm just glad he didn't attack me." Coryo jokes.

"What?" You laugh. "Why would he?"

"I don't know! I've never had a pet. They scare me a little."

"Oh, Coriolanus Snow is afraid of a cat?" You tease him. "I didn't know that about you."

"Y/N! Lucy Gray is here!" Your mother calls from inside the house and you're quickly distracted, clumsily standing up from the bench, leaving it swinging unsteadily underneath him.

"Coming!" You call out, grabbing his hand to pull him up with you. "You must meet her, she's my best friend. If you think I'm good company you'll see she's all the better."

"I've met her." He replies, allowing you to pull him up from the bench anyway.

"You have?" You ask, brow furrowed.

"Yeah, she helped Sejanus and I find you."

"Sejanus is here?" You smile wide and he nods, a little confused.

"Yeah, he came with-" He doesn't even finish his sentence before you're moving quickly into the house and to the living room where your mother had let them in, leaving the door swinging open behind you.

"Sejanus!" You call out as you see him, almost tackling him in a hug- armed with the confidence in Coryo's honesty that he didn't hate you.

He laughs, catching you in his arms. "Y/N, it's so good to see you..."

Coryo chews on the inside of his cheek as he follows you in. He wasn't met with a hug, or near the same amount of excitement. Maybe he underestimated how close you and Sejanus had become while he was stuck in the hospital ward after the bombing.

He can see the three, evenly distributed scars on the back of your leg. Healing, but still bruised all this time later. He wonders if it still hurts.

"How I have missed you- how are you doing?" You grin, pulling away from the hug and running your hands up and down Sejanus's arms.

"I'm pretty good! I've always wanted to see Twelve, so now I finally had a good excuse." He jokes, looking down at you. "How are you, though? That's much more important."

Coryo takes a moment to notice Lucy Gray staring at him. "I take it your hello didn't look like that?" She whispers, forcing him to relax his facial expression to hide any disdain.

"It did." He lies.

"Oh! My mistake then." She replies, clearly not buying it.

He thought you were treating him like a friend, but if this is how you treated friends, he obviously did not meet the mark.

"We found you guys a place to stay." Lucy Gray continues, watching you and Sejanus chat.

"Thank you." Coryo nods at her, but he's still watching you, eyes taking up and down your body, your hair, your skin- but always finding a home on your injured calf.

"Yeah, of course." She hums, arms crossed over her chest. "She'll come around, you know."

You turn, finally ready to greet Lucy Gray. "I'm sorry, I didn't even say hello to you." You giggle, giving her a gentle, less urgent hug.

"That's quite alright, Y/N/N. You see me every day." She laughs, gently rubbing your back.

"And it still doesn't feel like enough." You respond.

"I agree." She hums, pulling away and holding onto your shoulders as you smile at her. Lucy Gray is the only one who knows what you're going through, the only one besides Lennox who knows what your nightmares are like, to have you cry with your head in her lap in her backyard or even at the lake where you used to share the best days of your lives. You felt like you ruined it all, but you felt seen with her. Always.

"Lucy Gray found us a place to stay for the month." Sejanus tells his friend.

"I heard." He mumbles, fighting back the green monster bellowing behind his eyes.

"Yes! Right, I'll get you guys there and settled. I'm sure Y/N is just dying for her afternoon nap." Lucy Gray says, gently squeezing your shoulders. You nod. Even though your visit with Coryo was pleasant, it still placed a weight just behind your ribs you couldn't describe. You needed a break, and your best friend could see it.

"Yes, well, can't get enough of my bed these days..." You joke, but it doesn't come out as lighthearted as you intended, all context considered. You clear your throat. "We are such stuff as dreams are made on; and our little life is rounded with a sleep."

"Certainly." Lucy Gray smiles, pulling you into a quick side hug.

Coryo watches, avoiding reacting to what he saw happening in front of him. With your mother, and now with Lucy Gray. No one here, apparently, just hums in confusion or looks at you funny when you say something that hardly makes sense. They know you. They understand every word; or at least they pretend they do. They answer accordingly, like it was just a normal bit of conversation. There was no one else quite like you, and he was lucky to get to hear it. He knew that, but they knew it first. By the time the games had started, by the time you won and left, Coriolanus had started picking up the habit as well. You weren't entertainment, leaving something to question after every conversation, it was you. All you. And he loved you for it.

"How long will you be here?" You ask, returning your attention to him now. Finally.

"A month." Coryo answers promptly, smiling at you. At first, he thought a month was a long time until the next train left, but now, it didn't feel like nearly enough.

"Wonderful!" You smile, clapping excitedly. "So I will most definitely see you again."

"It's you I'm here to see." He grins, a pink flush spreading on his cheeks.

It matches yours almost perfectly. "Good." You nod. "I'm glad." You almost choke over the words and hope he doesn't notice.

"That reminds me! Lucy Gray's show tonight, are you going?" Sejanus asks you and you glance nervously over at her. It seems to Coryo that his friend was too eager to engulf himself in local culture, when they were supposed to be there to see you.

"Oh, you guys are certainly welcome but..." She looks back at you as she speaks, silently communicating with you on the best way to say this. You just nod. You trust her to speak for you. "Y/N typically doesn't come. It's nothin' new to her, any of my music she wants to hear I can sing for her anytime." She smiles.

"Coryo?" Sejanus asks him now, and he looks at you the same way you looked at Lucy Gray.

You sense his hesitation. Clearly, he will only go if you do. "You know what? I wasted time, and now doth time waste me. I'll come."

Lucy Gray looks surprised, but very pleased. "You will?"

"Sure, why not." She knows why not, but she won't dig any deeper into it in front of the boys.

"Alrighty then! We better get going, I've left rehearsals for long enough. The Covey is probably out searchin' by now." Lucy Gray says, waving the boys to pass her to get to the door.

"Are you sure?" She whispers to you once they cannot hear. "Don't feel pressured."

"I want to spend time with them." You whisper back. "I'll be fine."

She nods, a look of worry in her eyes as she hugs you again.

"Coryo?" You call as you pull away, walking past her to get to the front entrance of your small home.

His head whips up at your voice calling his name, looking at you expectantly. "Will you..." You start, and Coryo watches closely as you begin wringing your hands together in front of yourself.

Yes. Whatever you need, yes.

"If it's not too much trouble, can you come get me before you go? I don't like to walk at night..."

"Of course." He answers without hesitation. "I'll be back later, then."

"Thank you." You smile, cheeks red from the embarrassing question. "I'll see you guys tonight."

You had your so desired afternoon nap after that. Your mom came and laid in bed with you, gushing over how Coriolanus was such a good guest. A kind soul, she said. She could see it in his eyes, apparently, and hear it in the way he spoke about you. You wanted to believe her, but you really weren't sure.

You couldn't help but see him differently after he killed Bobbin. It wasn't necessarily that he killed him, it was the overkill that really haunted you. That last swing after the threat was so clearly subdued. He didn't look like himself anymore. It kept you up at night- and when it didn't, it was a frequent event in your nightmares.

You woke with a jolt from your nap, picturing your mentor standing over you with his blond curls falling over his eyes. You had a hand out to try protect yourself as you slid back across the cold, cemented ground of the arena. This was a common nightmare you had since you returned.

So when you got home from work only to see him standing in your living room, with your mother who knew nothing but the good things about him, you could have cried. Screamed. You thought for a moment that maybe you were sleeping and the dreams had adapted into something worse, but no. He was there. And he was kind, and so happy to see you that the boy you spent most nights remembering seemed incredibly unlikely to exist. When you looked into his eyes, as he silently begged you not to run, he was just Coryo.

Quick footsteps in the hallway turn your attention to the door. "You alright?" Your brother asks, hand braced on the frame to stop himself as if he had been moving too quickly to do it on his own.

"I'm fine." You nod, taking a deep breath and swallowing back your fear again.

Worried, Lennox looks back down the hall before coming into your room, closing the door behind himself. You move over in your shared bed, giving him his spot back as he slides in next to you.

"Nightmare?" He asks quietly, laying on his side to face you.

You just nod.

"Was it... about him?"

You want to lie. Tell him that no, it was just the games in general, but you knew he wouldn't buy it. Not after answering the door to see the boy whose name you mumbled in your sleep, begging for mercy standing in front of him.

That was the reason you had to tell your brother in the first place.

"No, I- Coryo, please..." Your brother hears you shifting under the blanket next to him, watching as Tybalt's ears perk up from your feet. "Please... Don't!"

"Y/N?" He mumbles, rolling over. "You okay?"

Then he realizes as he sees your eyes scrunched shut that you're still asleep. Nightmares he had dealt with for almost a week now, but tonight was the first night your mother didn't insist on sleeping in the room with you, leaving him on the floor while she took his spot. He had a suspicion that your dad was doing the same, just outside the door. But this was the first time you spoke.

"Y/N." He sits up, grabbing your shoulder to try and shake you awake. "Wake up. It's just a nightmare."

You sit up so fast it makes him jump back, the scream that fell from your lips made his heart race even faster. "Y/N?" He asks, quickly crawling back into the bed and trying to touch you, help you, but you're pushing yourself back against the wall, grasping at the sheets as you looked around. It takes you a moment to realize where you are- home. Safe.

Your brother turns his head as your parents come rushing in to comfort you. He doesn't say anything about you talking until you finally settle them enough with your calming smile, assuring them that you're fine and they should go back to bed. That they needed their sleep, while your own cheeks were still red and stained with tears.

He doesn't say a word until he's sure he's heard them go back to bed, staring at you as you lay back down under your quilt and your chest is still rising and falling so fast he's wondering how you're even getting any oxygen to your blood.

"You were talking to him." Lennox whispers, and you just turn your head to look at him.

"I'm sorry." You whisper, voice still hoarse from the scream.

"What did he do to you?" By now, Coriolanus Snow or "Coryo", was a common name in your household. You only spoke of him favourably this last week you'd been home and even before that. That he helped you, saved you.

"Nothing, bud. It was just a dream." Now you're hushing him, reaching over and pulling the blanket up over his shoulder.

You can tell your brother doesn't believe you, but he doesn't know how to ask. What to ask, how to go about it without setting you off or hearing an answer that makes his blood boil so intensely that he jumps on the next Capitol bound freight train to do something you would never forgive him for.

"He didn't hurt me. I promise." You whisper again, sensing his fear. "I just..." You cut yourself off with a sigh. "Can you keep a secret?"

"You know I can." He promises.

You nod, small smile falling on your lips that's illuminated only by the moonlight streaming through the window. "Do you remember that boy from District Eight? Bobbin?" You whisper and he nods, hanging on every word.

"I watched Coriolanus kill him." You continue, assessing his reaction; confusion and shock settling in all at once. "And it was... Scary. He was already dead, but he hit him again and the look in his eyes I-..." You slightly shake your head. "It wasn't him. That was the last time I saw him. Coryo, I mean."

"How'd he get in?" Your brother whispers. "What was he doing?" It's all he could think to ask. Maybe he had gone to try and save you- to break you out. If you had told him that an hour ago, he would have believed it based on how you spoke about him.

"Sejanus, my other friend, snuck in. He brought bread to scatter over his tribute, and Coryo had to get him out safe." You explain. "He did, but not until after..." You sniff, wiping your eyes with the sheet.

"It's like you didn't know him." Your brother says, fully understanding.

"Yeah." You reply quietly. Lennox had always understood you. "I don't know if he was ever really my friend. If he's not the person I thought he was."

"I'm sorry." Your brother settles on.

"Nature teaches beasts to know their friends."

"You are not a beast." He whispers, brow furrowed.

You smile sadly at him. "You should get back to sleep."

"Yeah." You whisper, looking away and out the window at the sun beginning to set. Coryo would be here soon, and suddenly you were regretting agreeing to go out at all. "It was about him."

taglist: @soulessjourney , @that-veela-girl ,  @dreamyysouls, @rockstarbfs , @maysileeewrites , @baybieruth , @kitscutie ,  @fratboyharrysgf0201 , @totallynotkaibiased , @stelleduarte , @secretsicanthideanymore , @bejeweledreverie , @drewsandsebastianswife , @niicole-87 , @queenofshinigamis , @innercreationflower , @nallasstuff , @scorpiolystoned , @iovemoonyy , @thatmarvelchick19 , @wearemadeofstardust0 , @regulusblackcore , @puredreamagination , @fantasticchaosthing , @becauseseaotters , @secretsicanthideanymore

okay suddenly tumblr isn't letting me tag more people than this so i just made some cuts unfortunately :') i just left the max amount of people i could whose users i recognized and see in my notifs all the time :) if you're not on here and you should be i'm so sorry!

also this taglist is closed now!! if you’d like to get a notification when i update, turn on my post notifications!! i promise i won’t spam y'all :,)

[kaciidubs]

Camboy!SKZ Headcanons | Hyung Line

❣ Summary: What it would be like if the SKZ boys were camboys? An idea brought on by @onmykneesforchanlix ❣ ❣ Warnings: Camboy AU, kink discussion [daddy kink], sex toys ❣ ❣ Additional Tags: Slight crack energy, Chan is referred to as Chris, Changbin is a gym buff ❣ Maknae Line ❣ Stray Kids Masterlist ❣ General Masterlist ❣

Chris

His username would be something painfully simple, like cb97xx or xxWolfChanxx, he’s never escaping the early 2000’s username tropes, I’m sorry.

Started camming to save money for music tech, and he was gonna quit once he earned enough money but he slowly found himself getting hooked on the praise of thousands of unknown faces.

At first he didn’t show his face, keeping the content to shoulders and below, but one night he gets up to turn the stream off and they catch a glimpse of his lips and there’s a rapid fire of tips flooding in;

Would give anything to have those lips on me

What the fuck what the fuck??? Those lips?? So biteable??

Bubblegum pink, new favorite color

From then on, he kept his camera at an angle just high enough to keep his lips in frame.

Definitely finds himself pandering to the daddy kink side of the internet and ends up developing the kink for himself [this is a lie, he knows he’s had it since before the cam boy streams, but who really needs to know that?].

Loves when his fans comment on how good his hands look bc he doesn’t find them appealing himself, but if hundreds of people are begging him to choke them, how could he deny it?

Paints his nails by the recommendation of his subscribers each month, and it turns him on even more when he’s camming and jerking off with his freshly dried polish.

Wants to grow his community and isn’t shy about collaborations with other creators because baby boy is just a social butterfly - no matter if they’re clothed or naked in front of thousands.

Ultimately treats his lives like a genuine livestream, even if his dick is leaking precum in his fist.

Minho

First off; username is leeknowswho, convince me otherwise - man did not care about his username in the slightest

Only made an account to support his other streaming friend, quokkasungie

But when he saw the money he was raking in, he decided to throw his hat into the ring because “Getting off in front of a camera? How hard can it be?”

Spoiler alert - very.

Extremely, when you don’t even use a webcam.

The first few streams were experimental, a black screen with the subtle sound of him jerking off and breathing into the mic - that is, until he read out a chat asking for a description.

“What? So needy you can’t imagine it for yourself?”

Apparently the chatter liked that, and so did a grand number of people after that on his next stream.

Thus, the leeknowswho degradation corner was born, and it’s been a hit for two years and growing.

Constantly teases his viewers, toying with them that maybe one day he’ll turn on his camera, and even going as far as setting a donation goal for him to do so - but the limit is never reached since he often takes part of the money to donate to charities.

“You’d rather see my dick than an organization help get stray kittens off the streets? Yet I’m the fucked up one?”

Sometimes he goes live and doesn’t even jerk off, just doing an asmr stream teasing and degrading and toying with his fans, getting a kick out of the ones actively using his voice to get themselves off.

He’s a menace but the people love him.

Changbin

BinnieDwekki or Dwekkisgym, I really can’t decide but he definitely gives off cute username vibes.

Genuinely wanted to use the platform as a way to document his growth from working out, but of course using a camboy website probably wasn’t the way to go about it.

Has a whole room for his setup - though in reality it’s just his in-home workout room, but who really needs to know the truth - and takes pride in showing off his whole body.

He worked hard for those muscles, why wouldn’t he want to flex in every angle?!

Blushes at the chat messages where people say they want him to choke him with his biceps, or squeeze their head between his thighs until they pop like a watermelon.

Blushes even more at the chats praising his physique and wondering how someone with such a cute face could have such a killer body.

The first time he pulled his dick out on stream was when he was showcasing some of the workouts he does on the daily; the adrenaline and built up energy from his preworkout giving the chat a glorious reveal of the thick outline in his compression shorts.

Fuck choking me with your arms, choke me out on your cock

There wasn’t much left to the imagination, and with the addition of that chat message he figured that maybe taking care of the problem on stream wouldn’t be a bad idea.

And boy, was it the best decision he’d ever made.

If his fans weren’t on board for the strained grunts and breathless groans from him working out on camera, then they definitely were for the dick that looked just as beefy as he was.

His version of being a camboy is probably the most wholesome out there, ranging from motivational talks and advice moments [while shirtless, of course] to being stark naked and jacking off after a live workout session.

Hyunjin

Another one who signed up with intent - and hear me out.

He wanted to use the money to help get him into art school, but after seeing his first major check after the span of a few months, he figured he could get on well without it.

Username is princehhj, he knows how to pander to his features which helped him grow a fanbase like it was nothing.

Has been camboying the longest out of the hyung line.

He also has a set for his streams, but it’s just a corner of his art studio where he has a cozy little couch where he can stretch out on [in more ways than one].

His streams usually involve toys of various types; silicon grinders, fleshlights, buttplugs, dildos - his collection isn’t one to joke about, only using his hand got boring after the first week of streaming.

Most of the time he doesn’t even have to be doing anything explicit, simply sitting there with his pretty black hair tied back into a ponytail, a bottle of lube and a toy or two sitting right beside him is enough for the donations to come rolling in.

His favorite toy to use is his tenga egg - the stretchy plastic egg fits perfectly in his palm and doesn’t take too much concentration to use, which makes it easier for him to read his chat and reply as if he’s not touching himself.

Aside from the toys, however, he may also have one or two sets of lingerie that he brings out on milestone streams as a treat to the scream [and himself]. Nothing too wild, just your simple lace panty set and garters, and the chat goes wild for it.

Can you truly blame them though? He’s the prettiest prince out there.

❣ Any type of feedback is appreciated! Whether it be a simple like, reblog, or keyboard smash and the most essay-like comment, feel free to share your thoughts. ❣

[mybrainproblems]

hello, i'm finales georg...

i don't want to further clutter up the notes on this post while responding to the tags below but the persistence of the "finale is short/scenes are missing/extra ad break” conspiracies drives me absolutely bananas when i've watched the finale ten times and have posted about this A LOT trying to clear things up. (disclaimer that yes, i'm a goddamn destiel shipper but i care about Facts above all.)

ok but this is weird because i'd swear the episode was shorter (11 missing scenes!) but okay. maybe we all mandela effected ourselves into #beleving that. because it felt shorter. but i will die on the hill that it had another ad break. i understand this person has the thing #recorded with ads so i am thinking maybe different ad breaks in different idk time zones??? #because the finale did air an hour earlier in canada so maybe idk i am reaching here but maybe different states or whatever had different #ad breaks??? as for the last minute changes - wasn't the cover band asked for permission to use their version of carry on like a week before #the thing aired??? so even if the episode was 42 minutes and had no additional ad break - which i am side eying but lets say all was normal #i will always say they were changing thing until the absolute last minute (carry on my wayward son X 2 #the crew on the bridge which is not only giant 4th wall breaking but also wow they really got all those people in one place in times of #covid???) #anyway. tinfoil hat stays on sorry guys :/ (via @officialmisha)

short and snarky: there are plenty of real and sourced examples of network homophobia and scripted/directed destiel scenes being cut to point to. we don’t need to make this stuff up just bc the finale wasn’t what we wanted. so it’s not the mandela effect — it’s ppl repeating a conspiracy/rumor bc it supports their narrative and it’s easier and more fun to repeat something that supports a narrative they already believe (misha or something destiel was cut) vs the boring act of fact checking.

longer circumspect answer with links bc like many ppl i am in my debunking era and i rewatched "roblox_oof" last night.

like i said. i've watched the finale ten times. i’ve gone over the episode with a fine toothed comb and posted a detailed breakdown of timing marks on my blog. it’s actually extremely obvious where the ad breaks are once you know roughly where to look for them (they have a longer fade to black instead of a quick cut scene change). there’s no room for extra ad breaks and i think this conspiracy/rumor persists in part bc the episode feels so sparse in terms of cast and the fact that the episode’s momentum hits a barn post (and rebar) less than 20min into an hour-long programming block.

also i’m begging ppl to actually look at that timing mark post. it’s very straightforward and i spent a lot of time on it. i don’t care if ppl plagiarize it at this point if it means this conspiracy stops. i've got almost every second accounted for.

the "eleven missing scenes" that you're thinking of are probably from the finale script of questionable authenticity that @spnscripthunt acquired back in 2021 which can be found here. it's dated as the “final draft” from 11 sep 2020 and filming on 15x20 wrapped on 10 sep 2020. as noted at the bottom of this superwiki page "[the] script came from someone claiming to have been the person who did the closed captions for the show in Russia. There are some indications that it possibly may not be authentic, but this has not been confirmed."

if we go with the possibility that this was a transcript meant for subtitles, the "omitted" scenes were probably written but never filmed since it's the "final draft" and not a color revision (blue, green, yellow, etc). unfortunately, i’ve lost track of where i read it and a preliminary duckduckgo search isn’t bringing it up bc there's a program for script writing called final draft, but iirc the “final draft” version of a script is a transcript of what was filmed (e.g. there are parts of that 15x20 script that ended up being deleted scenes on the DVD). spnscripthunt also has an example of a confirmed final draft for 09x02 (funnily enough, also a dabb-penned ep). if anyone can confirm with a source that i have the purpose of the “final draft” version designation wrong, please let me know! i love being proven wrong with Facts.

i do want to acknowledge that the two “final drafts” do look different from each other and the 15x20 one doesn't look like a “real” final draft script since it lacks the revision/versioning dates that a script would normally have on the cover page. it could be that it was intended for subtitles; there's the chance it's been re-typed to anonymize it if there was anything indicating who the "owner" was, tho that seems a wee bit cloak and dagger to me. and again: it's considered of questionable authenticity. there are some things that don't quite line up but oh dear god i don't want to get even further out into the weeds than i already am.

i won't disagree that it's weird as hell that neoni only got asked about using their cover seven days prior to the episode airing (tiktok here). my personal theory is that they were hoping to get a more expensive song (maybe a zepp song, idk) and didn't manage to secure the rights in the end. again: this is pure conjecture on my part! but i could absolutely see someone working on the show hearing neoni’s cover and liking it and then maybe they were using it as a placeholder until it got down to the wire and they had to make a call/send the ep to networks. because yes, it is baffling they played a song and then a cover of it with only a 40 second break between. (i do actually really like the neoni cover! the placement is just weird and i think it could have worked if they had the kansas version at the beginning and closed with neoni's full cover.)

as to the 4th wall break COVID stuff: robert singer talked with variety magazine about filming the last two episodes and the logistics of filming during a pandemic. whether they should have been filming during a pandemic is a separate discussion but their use of office vs set pods, strict quarantining and daily testing meant that they had zero positive tests in the month they were filming (18 aug to 10 sep). so given all that, i personally don’t think it’s totally out of pocket to have everyone standing outdoors on a bridge for maybe an hour to get a drone shot of them together. (i won’t get into incubation periods and viral load, but if everyone tested negative that day and every day for a month prior, it was a fairly low risk scene to film outdoors and for all we know everyone was masked until the last possible second. there were plenty of outdoor masked protests in 2020 that weren't superspreader events.)

and before anyone brings up “but misha was in vancouver!” i know someone who looked into it and they said no dice, nothing matched up between the backgrounds in those pics and places in vancouver. his statements about “us” going back to set over the summer were pretty generic in hindsight and “we”/"us" could be him or the spn crew generally. unfortunately i’m not able to find those tweets but the use of “we” was likely so as not to give away he wouldn’t be returning to set. (bc we were absolutely casbaited!) and bc it comes up a lot: the "onion field pic" was from when they were filming 15x17 and was not taken while filming 15x19 and 15x20.

besides, it would be ridiculous to go through the financial and logistical headaches of bringing someone into the country to film during a pandemic, only to cut their scenes in the end! honestly, the script is pretty tight when the scenes are given so much breathing room! the only thing i could see being further cut down is The Monologue and even then, i don’t think there was any intent to cut it down given it was filmed in fairly long takes.

i’ve said it many times before, but i believe the finale was fucked long before they returned to set. walker got the green light in sep 2019 and it was being marketed heavily as a “follow on” show to spn given jared’s involvement. the demo they were courting for walker has little to no overlap with the demo for destiel fans — why would they want a finale that catered to a demo they weren't interested in courting? we just went through a historic double strike that exposed so much of the rot of business interests overriding creative vision. this isn't completely unfounded conjecture.

i will not apologize for the length of this bc i wanted to be thorough, but i do want to give context that i think the reason these conspiracies and rumors grind my gears so much is because anyone can fact check all of this. the truth is out there and absolutely none of it is that hard to find. the most time consuming/difficult part of this was finding someone who had a DVR’d copy of the finale from when it aired live and they actually found me themselves after i’d been low key asking around for a year!

and like. i get it. conspiracies are fun. but there are so many sourced instances of network homophobia and destiel being cut that it's like. why is this something folks are hanging onto? the cw is notorious for having upper level meddling with finales bc there's a follow-on show they want to shuffle fans along to and spn is no exception.

[vodika-vibes]

Heyoo!

I have a request, it’s a bit of a long gif so if ya don’t get to it or don’t wanna do it, it’s fine lol.

Anyways, my idea / request / prompt / Echo x Fem!Reader goes like this, kinda, feel free to take liberties

Echo, now I feel like he would be a nervous kinda guy when it comes to having a crush. Like, he just doesn’t know what to say and overthinks absolutely everything, and can’t rly take a hint. Before he got blown up, there was a girl, who he has a liiiitle crush on n such, (idk you can make her a mechanic, doctor, bartender, whatever idm)

And they were rly good “friends” n such r something, aaaand some time after he joins TBB he visits the old place where he used to reside with the other guys in the domino squad (I forget where *sob*) And she’s is surprisingly still there. Heartfelt angsty ?kinda? Maybe reunion yadayadaydada and a bit after that and after catching up, probably a day or two later they pick up hints that they like each other and eventually confess n StUfF, aaand ya, then he has to go back with TBB and they be sad, he invites her to join but she is hesitant, and bc the other squad members don’t even know her she ends up saying no- aaaaand ya-

( 💀 omg i don’t even know anymore )

Idk it’s a very weird prompt, I’m making this up as I go, so feel free to pick and choose, take or add, whatever u wanna do

Again if u don’t wanna do it that is perfectly fine, just a thought. Love your work! <33

I Dream Of Forever

Summary: Summary: You’ve been a bartender on Rishi since you were old enough to take orders correctly. Echo was a Clone Trooper turned ARC Trooper stationed on Rishi who was a little more than friends with you. You legitimately believe he’s dead. But when a group of clones land on Rishi, you come face to face with the man you hoped would be your forever.

Pairing: TBB Echo x F!Reader

Word Count: 2201

Warnings: Some suggestive moments, but nothing detailed

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni

A/N: I thing I got the general vibe you want, but if I didn't please let me know and I'll do something else.

You’ve been a bartender at the same bar on Rishi since you were ten years old. Your parents had debts to the bar owner, and they sold you to make up for it. Well, you and your siblings.

You’re the lucky one.

Your…owner? Guardian? Whatever he is, he treats you like a beloved granddaughter. He buys you clothes and food and allows you to go to school…and until you reached the age of majority at 18, you only had to work four hours a night four days a week. 

He even paid for you to go to college, and he pays you well enough that you have your own home here on Rishi.

You’re lucky.

Your older brother, you know, ended up becoming a gladiator in the Outer Rim, and last you heard he’s an enforcer for the Hutt Cartel. Your older sister, however, became a drug runner for a Spice Cartel and last you heard she’s moving from rehab center to rehab center.

You’re lucky.

Maybe if you repeat it often enough, you’ll believe it.

All things considered, Rishi isn’t the worst place to spend your life. The area you live in is warm and bright and right on the water. Not to mention you’ve got several friends here that you would miss if you left…or if the Empire decides to actually deal with the pirate problem.

You’re not worried though.

The Republic’s war with the Separatists barely touched Rishi afterall, aside from having a single watch station that has been abandoned for years now.

And you don’t expect that the Empire will push too much.

Your gaze drifts from the food stall that you’re visiting, lingering on the small, almost overgrown, old Republic comm station. Once upon there had been five men stationed there. Hevy, Droidbait, Cutup, Fives, and Echo.

While you had some concerns as to how the pirates of Rishi would react to obvious soldiers spending time in their bars…people were surprisingly okay with them. More than one of them getting an offer to join different crews.

A small smile lifts your lips at the memory of your boys laughingly turning down offers of pirate crew memberships.

The Dominos had been Rishi’s, more so than the Republics, and people raged when they heard that they died.

First when Droidbait and Cutup died, and then later when they heard that Hevy was killed on Kamino. And then even later when Echo was blown up, and then Fives was killed-

Fives’ death was kind of the final straw for Rishi. 

Even now, the Pirates of Rishi are more than happy to raid imperial vessels, in honor of their Dominos.

You step around a group of Mercs, all of whom have dominoes tattooed on their hands, and start to meander your way back to your home. You miss them. All of them.

But, if you’re going to be honest, you probably miss Echo the most.

He was a lot like his brothers, loud and boisterous, and always ready with a joke or a quip, or to finish a joke that his twin set up. He was always the first to greet you with a grin, and the last to say goodbye at the end of the night.

But, unlike his brothers, he flirted with you a little shyly, as though he wasn’t sure what he was doing.

It was charming and sweet, and you found yourself smitten with him. 

He didn’t, quite, get over his shyness with you even after the first time you invited him into your home with tempting kisses. He was still a little shy even after the tenth time you invited him into your home, and your bed, with teasing touches and adoring kisses.

You wanted forever with him, and you thought, hoped, that he wanted the same.

And then he left, and you never heard from him again.

You suppose, in a way, it makes sense. Why would a soldier want to slum it with a bartender who’s technically a slave.

Doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.

After all, you still dream of forever with Echo. Only now, your dreams are definitely castles in the air.

After all, dead men don’t get happily ever afters.

“We need to land somewhere,” Tech says to his brothers, a frown on his face, “The damage to the ship is…far too severe for me to repair without landing.”

“Where can we land, though?” Wrecker asks, “It’s not like there are a large number of places that will accept us.”

Echo eyes the star map speculatively, “I…may have an idea.” He offers, as his gaze lands on a specific planet. A bright smile dances across your memory, and a loving laugh echoes in his ears.

He’s a kriffing fool.

Hopefully she won’t turn him away.

“Well?” Hunter prompts when Echo doesn’t continue right away.

“I think we should go to Rishi.” Echo says slowly.

“Rishi!” Tech sputters.

“That’s a pirate planet, Echo.” Hunter says, “They won’t react well-”

“Do you have a better idea?” Echo asks.

The room falls silent for a moment, and then Tech sighs, “It is up to you, Hunter. Rishi is the closest planet we can land on.”

Hunter pushes his hand through his hair, “Fine. Do it.”

An hour later, the Marauder lands on an open pad, and no one comes to the ship to speak to them. “Is this…normal?” Tech asks.

“Yeah, pretty much.” Echo replies with a shrug, “We should probably not wear our armor here,” He adds. He’s already changed into civilian attire, and he’s somewhat anxiously rubbing his arm just over where his scomp is attached. 

“Why?”

“Because our armor screams ‘clones’ and I’m not sure how the pirates will react to seeing clones now.” Echo replies dryly, “I’ve heard rumors of Rishi based Pirates raiding Republic and Imperial transports lately.”

Hunter agrees that it’s a reasonable precaution, and they all hurriedly change into civilian attire, before they get off the ship, with Omega clinging to Wrecker’s hand. And then, almost as one, they turn to Echo.

Echo sighs and rubs the back of his head, and then he turns and heads deeper into the city.

Some things have changed, new people, new stalls, but most everything else is the same. He pauses in front of a specific bar, and peers in, his dark eyes scanning the faces of the bartenders for a moment, before he motions for his brothers to follow him some more.

“Are you lookin’ for someone?” Wrecker asks.

“Yeah. Someone who, hopefully, won’t be too angry at me and will be willing to help.” Echo says.

“A friend?” Omega asks.

“Yeah, something like that.”

Echo leads them away from the shops and docks, and over to a row of apartments. He scans the buildings for a moment, before he turns and heads to one of the smaller buildings, and he stops in front of a plain door, with flower boxes in the windows.

His lips curl up in a small smile, Fives made those flower boxes early one morning when he was hyped up on Caf. They were crooked and lopsided, but it looks like she kept them. Though it looks like she painted them. “Wait here.” Echo says to his siblings, before he walks over to the door, and he knocks twice.

“Just a moment!” Her voice comes from the other side of the door, and Echo doesn’t fight his smile.

She sounds exactly the same. 

Stars, please don’t let her be too mad.

The door slides open, “Yes? Can I help yo-” She stops mid-sentence when she sees who’s standing there, “...Echo?”

“You grew your hair out,” Echo replies, a small smile lifting his lips, “It looks good. You look amazing. I’m sure you have a question or twenty, cyar’ika-”

Echo’s not able to finish his sentence as she flings her arms around him and crashes her lips against his. His arms fold tightly around her and he immediately kisses her back, and it’s almost as if no time has passed at all. 

If he focuses, he can almost hear Fives wolf-whistling and hear Cutup making lewd comments.

And then reality snaps back into place when he hears Tech’s dry voice, “Ah. That kind of friend.”

Echo carefully pulls back, and reaches up to gently cup her cheek, using his thumb to brush a tear away, “I’m sorry for not comming you, cyar’ika.”

She shakes her head, “We were told that you died.” She whispers, “Fives said…” She trailed off, “And then Fives died, and, kriff, the death of the last Domino started a war between the pirates of Rishi and the Republic/Empire, why would you bring them here?”

“Our ship is damaged-” Echo started.

“Get in. In. All of you!” She drags Echo into her home, and she doesn’t shut the door until Hunter is in the apartment as well. “Honestly Echo,” She rounds on him, “If you commed I would have told you to go literally anywhere else.”

“I wasn’t sure you’d answer.” Echo replies.

There are pictures of her with Echo, and with the rest of the dominoes on the walls. There are also pictures of her with a large, scarred man. And of her with a too slender woman.

“What do you need? I can probably get most of the materials sent to your ship.” She says.

“I have a list.” Tech offers as he hands her his datapad.

She copies it and sends the list to several of her friends, “Alright, you should have most, if not all, of what you need by the morning.”

“Are we in danger here?”

“On Rishi specifically? No. Not so long as you don’t draw attention to yourself.” She replies, “I’d offer to let you spend the night, but I don’t have much room.”

“We can stay on the ship,” Tech replies.

“Echo, are you going to stay here?” Omega asks.

Echo doesn’t take his gaze off of his cyar’ika, “If I’m allowed?”

“I’ve never turned you away before.” She counters.

Echo smiles at her, “Do you remember the way back to the docks?”

“I remember.” Tech says, “Come on.”

The door opens, and then closes again, leaving Echo alone with his cyar’ika.

She smiles at him, soft and warm and slow, “You used to be shyer about public displays of affection.”

“I used to have legs and two hands too,” Echo replies, it's a weak joke, but a joke all the same. “I’m so sorry I never commed you.” He says after a moment, “I thought…it felt cruel, reaching out to you when I couldn’t actually touch you.”

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not.”

“Echo. I forgive you.” She walks over to him and she kisses him as if no time has passed at all, all loving and soft and sweet.

She’s always been unfairly tempting. Her lips and her touch encourage him to stay and enjoy what she’s offering. And Echo has always been helpless to deny her. 

He’s not surprised when he falls into her bed, her lips needy against his.

Later, much later, they’re lounging in her bed, and Echo is trailing his lips across her bare shoulder.

“Cyar’ika,” He murmurs against her shoulder, “Come with me.”

“Come with you where?” She asks, her voice light and dreamy.

“On the Marauder. Away from Rishi. I’ll protect you-”

She turns and looks at him, her smile so sad, “You know I can’t.”

“You deserve so much better than being a slave for your parents' debts,” Echo whispers.

She rolls so that she’s facing him properly, “Echo, your brothers don’t know me. And if I had to guess, your ship is pretty small. Me going with you isn’t fair to them.”

“You deserve more.” Echo repeats.

“I don’t like life is about what we deserve,” She replies, as she reaches up to cup his face, “So, in the morning, you’re going to return to your ship, to your brothers…and you’re going to leave Rishi. And you’re going to go back to not comming me, and it’s just how it’s going to be.”

“No.”

“Echo.” She sighs his name, and he shifts so he’s looking right in her eyes.

“No.” He repeats, “I’ve given up so much. My body, my batchmates, my twin. I’m not giving you up. Let me be greedy. Just about this one thing.”

She sighs again, but she looks touched. “How about…a deal?”

“What kind of deal?”

“My contract with my…owner is coming to an end. At the end of the year, I’ll have made enough to pay off my parents' tab with him.” She says softly, “On that day, I will comm you and come to where you are. No matter where you might be.”

“Do you promise?”

She laughs softly, “Echo, I’ve been dreaming of forever with you since the first day we met. Now that I have the chance to have it, it would take an act of god to stop me.”

Echo crashes his lips against hers, “I want forever too,” He breathes against her lips, “So we have a deal.”

She smiles at him, “I love you, Echo.”

He blinks at her, momentarily surprised, and then he laughs and kisses her deeply, “I love you too.”

[stardustizuku]

sorry for using your inbox as a confessional im too scared to post in a tag where everyone knows each other. anyway the thing i think is most interesting about wilfried is how sylvester is characterized by his treatment of his failson. bc like the obvious answer after the ivory tower incident and at like eight other points in the story was to demote wilfried to an archnoble or to put him in the temple. bonifatius should have served as sylvester's very obvious example that like. an archducal family member can thrive and be better off if they're not forced into archducal competition beyond doing the training just in case everyone else dies. and ferdinand should have shown him that sometimes being put in the temple or otherwise demoted is better than being a target in noble society. especially once rozemyne shows up and hes repeatedly shown the ways the temple is improving and the importance of it to the duchy's functioning. and yet even in his conversation with bonifatius in i think book 5 hes so against it he would rather disown rozemyne. which you could interpret as him thinking that even if he understands all that that noble society will continue to target wilfried but it also implies that on some level sylvester did and maybe still does think that bonifatius and ferdinand have reached "bad ends", despite caring deeply for them and intellectually understanding that they are better off not being the aub. bc it's not like wilfried is completely incompetent, he's just terrible at politics. he's a skilled warrior and when he's not being coddled he's fully capable of buckling down and getting work done. but even though sylvester has been told exactly that by several people, after sylvester finally gives up on having wilfried be the unambiguous heir he's still very clearly trying to leave the path open for him when wilfried has obviously and repeatedly been shown to not have a talent or even really a desire for the position outside of not wanting to be a target and charlotte has been here the whole time. honestly sylvester's basically only done harm by reinforcing that him losing the seat WOULD be a bad thing instead of trying to improve conditions for non-candidate archducal family members if he's so worried about the fate of failsons. like idk i just think its interesting especially in light of the most recent chapter that sylvester certainly cares for rozemyne and doesn't want her to be forced into a position she doesn't want, but, like, he is still a noble, it's just that rozemyne is frequently sheltered from that fact because his interests and hers so frequently overlap. sylvester being a good guy who is still very much a noble is actually my favorite thing about him, way too often in isekai stories you get a prankster noble whose carelessness is played off as cute or funny even when it would have extremely real consequences, so having sylvester be a dude who clearly means well but is in no way immune from reinforcing systemic injustice even in his own family is very interesting. although i get why myne doesn't really clash with him over it, i do sometimes wish they kept the somewhat adversarial relationship they had in early aob and i hope that charlotte gets to conflict with sylvester more

Hi! Thank you for sharing! I was a bit busy and didn't notice the ask, but you make a great point.

Sylvester is a very well meaning guy, who sometimes (in an effort to avoid his children suffering) can be blindsided and ignore the truth.

In his case, regarding Rozemyne and Wilfred, he ignores them both in regards to what they want/need, in favor to what he believes they need.

Yes, he would rather Wilfred be the next aub and sorta of forces the position on him. But he also forces the idea of Rozemyne as his second hand, then wife, on her. He's genuinely trying to help, but he gets blinded by his own past. For a very, very long time he saw himself in Wilfred, and Ferdinand in Rozemyne.

But, even when Wilfred explicitly said he did not want it - the reason why Sylvester didn't accept him relinquishing the position was actually Rozemyne herself.

I can assume it was a huge blow, since granting Wilfred his wish would mean making Rozemyne (a commoner) into an Aub and he couldn't bring himself to do that, for various reasons. He knows Ferdinand would not allow it, it would cause problems with Florencia, and more importantly: Rozemyne herself would hate it. Sylvester actually does care for Rozemyne, in the few ways he can allow himself to care.

He knows that Rozemyne wants nothing to do with politics. She wants to make books and hang out in the temple and with commoners. At that point, keeping them together was not to give Wilfred "what he wanted", but to KEEP Rozemyne and give her what she wanted (and what he duchy needed).

Sylvester is truly a unique interesting case, because he's well-meaning, but messes up sometimes. No one can be sure if his actions are 100% correct, or if it was the best option. But nevertheless, he does try to clean up after the messes he causes, and protect his people.

[brickmvster]

Adaptation [Ellie Williams]

Synopsis: Ellie wakes up one morning to find that she is showing symptoms of infection but her sanity remains in tact. While navigating the cruel and dangerous wilderness outside of Jackson, she must learn to adapt to the changes that are rapidly affecting her, and the sense of newfound isolation that comes with them.

Tags/warnings: minor canon-typical violence (non-graphic), minor injuries, guns, body horror, post-canon, ambiguous/open ending, suicidal ideation (extremely brief), angst, kind of a character study, not beta read

Word Count: 13k+

Author's Note: Hello everyone! Firstly, a HUGE thank you to the artist who's fanart inspired me to write this! They are @/teamashina on Twitter, and here is the link to the amazing work of art that gave me this fic idea: here. Ellie showing signs of infection but remaining sane is their idea! They have so much fanart relating to this concept and it is all so cool so please check it out.

I also took partial inspiration from the Korean television show "All of Us are Dead." In that show there is this concept of "human zombies" which are people who have been infected but do not go insane and also have side effects; those side effects are incorporated in this fic bc I just thought it was really cool :)

This has been proofread, edited, and revised, but not beta read, so if any grammatical/spelling errors still managed to slip by me, I apologize; they all belong to me, if there are any.

I really hope y'all enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it <3

This has been crossposted on ao3.

Side Note 1/10/24: apologies for adding x reader tags, as this is not an x reader fic, but I just wanted to give this story more exposure ❤

After Ellie had visited the farmhouse one last time, she was then completely on her own.

Ellie craved stability. In the middle of nowhere, where danger loomed around every corner, she missed having a roof over her head. Shelter was often hard to come by and Ellie found herself sleeping in less than ideal places – an abandoned car that was dirty, cramped, and cluttered, or if she was lucky, maybe she’d come across a small, nearly picked-over convenience store. She was exhausted, walking with heavy steps due to frequent tossing and turning and being woken up by the slightest of noises, most of them imagined. Sometimes, whenever she closed her eyes, she dreamt of her small room back in Jackson; she imagined the feeling of her soft mattress and thick blanket, the warm glow of her fairy lights, her comic books scattered across the table. It was almost as if she was really there, and everyone that she loved was still in her life, and she got to see them everyday. But when the sun peeked over the horizon, and Ellie was stirred awake, the mirage once again faded into the darkness, just out of reach. 

Ellie found herself residing in a travel van stuck on a lonely highway after walking on sore feet for several hours in a randomly chosen direction, hoping to stumble upon something, anything worthwhile. Most days were uneventful and never caught Ellie by surprise. Food wasn’t readily available, but Ellie’s hunting skills had been honed and sharpened by that point and wasn’t much of a challenge for her. On the more exciting days, infected wandered a bit too close to the van, leaving Ellie to take care of them swiftly and quietly. Often it was one or two, but sometimes they came in larger numbers. Ellie still had her beloved switchblade with her that she cleaned and took care of to the best of her ability that became her best friend when a group of runners decided to pay her a visit.

Ellie's run-ins with infected didn't always end with her leaving unscathed, though. The bite on Ellie's arm, partially hidden by her tattoo and the chemical burn, was now accompanied by a plethora of other bites, including one on her shoulder and a couple on her other arm; But they were nothing but mild annoyances.

Ellie would say she was doing fairly well, even if it didn’t look like it. Her hair was on the longer side and fell into her eyes a lot. She had lost a significant amount of weight, as her food supply wasn’t as steady as it once was and some days she would be unlucky on her hunting trips. She adjusted to only having eight fingers far more quickly than she initially thought she would. She could still hold her weapons just fine and her accuracy didn’t change too drastically. She was still alive and breathing; even if she felt and looked like shit, that’s what was most important. 

There wasn’t much at all that could be done for entertainment. She still wrote and drew things in her journal, almost having filled up every page. She had to start using the backs of pages now.

Her journal entries were usually fairly short. There was nothing very interesting to document in her life, after all. She had been writing more poems, though. They were also short, many of them unfinished. But sometimes she was able to better communicate her feelings through a few words and single sentences.

Her drawings, though, were more frequent. It was mostly random objects or something that caught her attention while hunting or simply walking outside for fresh air. Maybe it was a carcass being picked at by a flock of birds, or random, lost objects that once belonged to a person, now forever buried with overgrowth. Other times she drew her memories. Dina and JJ. Joel. Jesse. These people were all gone but she felt they had to be immortalized in some way.

Although Ellie knew she might have been better off than others, she could never stop thinking about the place she once called home. The people of Jackson weren’t trigger happy like the WLFs or a fucked-up, sheltered cult like the Seraphites. They were accepting, willing to take anyone in with open arms. Surely they would welcome Ellie back, right?

She felt that she had waited long enough, and there was only one way to find out.

When Ellie woke up one morning, ready to pack and head out for Jackson, she made a discovery that stopped her in her tracks. 

She sat up in the small space of her bed, staring at her arm in shock, confusion, and fear.

Her arm was partially covered in a hard fungal growth, and it had effectively torn through the fabric of her brown flannel. It was only a small section of her arm, and it just barely covered part of her fern tattoo. She touched it, wincing in advance as she anticipated pain, but she felt nothing. Frantically, she felt her face and her legs, feeling for the same growth, but it seemed to only be her arm. Ellie wasn’t sure how to process the slight changes that her body had undergone overnight. Was her luck finally running out? Was her immunity only temporary? These were all questions that polluted her mind like oil to water. 

There wasn’t much Ellie could do other than brush it off – even though turning into a clicker was not something one could necessarily forget about as if it was a minor inconvenience. 

The whole day, Ellie kept stealing glances at her arm to see if the growth would spread, but it remained in that one area. When she had sat down to eat dinner, she pulled out her journal, flipping through countless pages before eventually opening it up to a blank page, pencil in hand as she chewed on two-day old rabbit.

What’s happening to me?

I woke up this morning and saw something had happened to my arm. There was fungal growth. It scared the fuck outta me.

What does this mean?

My immunity couldn’t have just disappeared yesterday. If that was the case, I would’ve woken up a runner. It seems like my body has just completely skipped the earlier stages of infection. It takes… a fuck-ton of time to turn into a clicker. Why am I turning into one in only 24 hours? I don’t know what to do and I’m terrified. I tried breaking it off. But it’s so damn hard. Harder than it looks. It’s sturdy. Being covered in this might feel as if you’re wearing a fucking suit of armor.

We’ll see what tomorrow brings.

And tomorrow brought, well, even more surprises. Unpleasant ones. 

When Ellie had awoken, the growth had spread to more areas of her body rapidly. Small sections of both of her legs were now covered in the same growth, as well as her other arm. Much to Ellie's horror, when she had felt her face, she was terrified to know that the growth had finally reached her face, too. It was protruding from her cheek in a way that may have looked like it should have hurt, but once again, she felt nothing. From her discoveries yesterday she knew that she wouldn't be able to remove them and yet she tried anyway, bending and twisting and manipulating the tough fungal plates using all the strength she could muster. But to no avail.

Ellie spent the day much like how she spent yesterday, only significantly more perplexed. She had hoped that yesterday was just an awful dream, and that when she woke up the next day her arm would be clear and only her tattoo would remain. 

Ellie tried to make sense of this, but couldn't, no matter how long she sat and thought about it. She wasn't twitching erratically or moving in any way an actual infected person would, which she thought was a good sign. But something she did notice was how her senses had seemingly increased in strength.

She first noticed these changes when she was sitting at the table, scribbling away in her journal like she usually did. But the sentence she was currently writing was cut short when suddenly her stomach began cramping in unbelievable pain. 

It was so terrible that she had fallen out of her seat, clutching her stomach tightly, tears welling up in her eyes. She was convulsing, nausea overcoming her, the room spinning. She genuinely felt as if she would die right there on the floor if she didn't devour something, and quickly . 

The leftover rabbit meat that she had stored away in a cabinet somewhere had become extremely potent; what usually had no smell began producing a scent that was like nothing Ellie had ever smelled. It smelled so good, almost too good, and Ellie tried her damndest to get up so she could retrieve it. It was a struggle, as she could barely stand on her feet and every time she tried she just ended up back where she started. But through enough persistence she succeeded. She ran to where she stored the rabbit meat, keeping it wrapped up in a clean cloth. Her eyes widened as she saw that she only had a single strip of meat left. She ate it, so fast that she could've choked and she nearly bit off her fingers. But it wasn't enough, and she knew it wouldn't be enough. The pain within her stomach continued, so she stumbled over to the bed, bumping into the edges of things on the short trip there. She collapsed onto the bed, the sharp, unwavering pain rendering her motionless.

Ellie weeped and sobbed, thinking to herself that death would be preferable in this moment. Right as she began contemplating it, her gun just out of reach in her bag, she passed out before she could do anything.

____

Ellie's eyes had fluttered open for the second time that day. When she had woken up, the sunset was filtering in through the windows of the van. She had been out for a while.

Fortunately, the pain was gone. Ellie needed to hunt; she was completely out of rabbit meat now. But she was far too weak and felt exhausted from what she had experienced earlier. Her throat was dry, but she had no water either.

She had just enough energy to get up and grab her journal before returning to the warmth and comfort of her bed. She decided to just stay curled up in bed for the rest of day, having been pushed to her limits just a few hours ago.

She opened up her journal to where she remembered writing a new entry. She read it curiously, wondering where she left off. 

The fungal growth has spread. It's all over me now. It fucking sucks, to put it lightly.

It feels kind of itchy. Not enough to be awful, but just enough to be slightly annoying. Still no pain, though. I tried breaking it off again this morning knowing that I would get the same results.

I can't see what I look like. There's no mirror in this damn van. But I imagine I look hideous. 

I don't understand why this is happening to me. All of this has got to be some fucking nightm

The spelling of the last word was left unfinished, and Ellie was immediately reminded of the pain that had overwhelmed her in that moment. She slammed the journal shut.

Ellie thought about writing another entry, but instead, she laid back down, closing her eyes. All she wanted was sleep. The fungal growth made some sleeping positions uncomfortable, so she opted for simply lying on her back, letting out a tired sigh.

Sleep never actually caught up to her, though, as she heard the sound of voices from outside.

The voices were loud and clear, not coming from outside the van but from a distance. Ellie was startled at the fact that she could hear them so clearly from seemingly so far away and could even differentiate the tone of each voice – a woman and a man. She remained still, wondering if they were just wanderers. 

It was impossible to try to sleep then, because all she could hear was their conversation. She picked up every word.

"We've been walking for ages and haven't found anything."

"I'm sure we'll find somewhere to hole up eventually. We gotta keep searchi-"

"Hey! Look up ahead! Is that a van?"

"Holy shit. Let's get closer and check it out."

Ellie had immediately raised up in bed, grabbing her bag that was right next to her and unzipping it with great haste. She reached in and grabbed her pistol, reloading it swiftly. She stayed where she was, keeping the weapon firmly grasped within her hand. She listened closely to the people's footsteps, continuing to listen to the words exchanged between them (not that she had much of a choice because their voices were so goddamn loud– her hearing had drastically improved).

"You think there's anyone in there?"

"One way to find out." 

"We should knock." 

"Or we could just-"

"Let's knock, Travis. If someone is in there we could get shot on sight." 

"Fine."

After several minutes, Ellie could tell that they were right outside the entrance to the van. She kept her finger gently resting on the trigger, completely still, like a snake silently waiting to attack its prey. She could hear every thump of her heartbeat in her ears.

Then, she heard another sound. The sound of knocking. It was heavy and loud, the person making their presence known. The deeper voice of the man had asked a question from outside the door.

"Is anyone in there?" 

Ellie didn't respond; not right away, anyway. She slowly got out of bed, coming just slightly closer to the door, keeping her gun trained in that direction. Fatigue was still coursing through her, but she used what little strength she had to keep her arms steady and her gaze focused. After clearing her throat, Ellie replied.

"What do you want?" She asked, her voice calm but firm.

There was silence on the other end for a few minutes before the woman responded. 

"We don't want any trouble. We've been walking for a while and we need someplace to rest. I'm Kathy, and the voice you heard before is my husband, Travis." 

Ellie remained silent. Travis spoke up again. 

"Please. My wife is pregnant." He said, his voice wavering. 

Ellie sighed, lowering the gun, but keeping it within her grasp. She weighed her options, feeling conflicted with the choices presented to her. Ellie wanted to invite them in, The van was a small space, and it would certainly begin to feel claustrophobic with the addition of two people, but she was vehemently against the idea of sending them walking again. Ellie had so much blood on her hands from taking away so many lives on her journey for vengeance, but now, with her violent history behind her, the least she could do was help people when they needed helping. But Ellie was also fully aware of what she looked like at the moment; these people probably wouldn’t want to be around her for very long. They may even shoot her on sight once she opens the door. She walks like a human, and talks like a human, but her body took on a drastic transformation, one that would definitely cause people to look at her differently. People were going to fear her and Ellie was going to be even more isolated than she already was. 

She had only been living out of the van for a few weeks; it was only just now starting to feel like home. But she knew the choice she had to make. The choice she wanted to make.

Ellie must've been silent for too long, prompting Kathy to speak again. 

"Please." Was all she said, her tone hopeful. Ellie took small steps toward the door, unlocking it, before backing up again. Her finger was still just barely brushing against the trigger of the gun as spoke, her voice just barely loud enough for them to hear, “come in.”

They didn't come in immediately. Ellie imagined that they both must've been taken aback by being invited in and expected to be shooed away. But, after only a couple of minutes, the door was opened, the hinges emitting a loud, telltale creak.

Kathy and Travis had stepped inside the van tentatively. When their eyes landed on Ellie standing across from them, Travis wasted no time in slinging his rifle off of his shoulder and pointing it directly at her.

“What the hell – you’re – you’re infected–” He stammered, eyes wide, clearly unsure of how to proceed.

Kathy had defensively pulled out a pistol from a holster that was attached to her thigh, but she wasn’t aiming it. Instead, she merely looked at Ellie, eyebrows drawn together in bewilderment. Travis had stepped in front of her protectively, but Kathy immediately stepped aside him again, placing a hand on Travis’s rifle and gently lowering it. Travis’s eyes snapped to his wife, and he raised an eyebrow at her, as if silently questioning her. 

“It’s okay, Travis. Relax.” Kathy said in a soft-spoken yet firm voice. Travis couldn’t seem to take her advice, shoulders still visibly tense, his fingers gripping his rifle tightly as if the weapon would grow wings and fly away. Nonetheless, he didn’t try to retaliate, and he let his wife try to take control of the situation. But he kept his eyes trained on Ellie carefully, prepared to strike if the situation ever called for it.

Kathy continued to speak. “I’ve never seen someone like you before. You look like a clicker… but you’re not… y’know, batshit crazy.” She said.

“I don’t know what happened. I can’t– I couldn’t explain it to you. But I promise I’m not… a threat.” Ellie responded. 

Travis scoffed. It seemed like he gave all his might to stay silent but eventually caved in and spoke anyway, much to his wife’s distaste. “Bullshit. Just because you may be walking and talking like us doesn’t mean anything. You could still just suddenly snap for all we know.” He replied. Kathy placed a gentle hand on Travis’s shoulder, but the glare she had sent him was anything but gentle. Travis could only laugh in response, as if what he said was something completely absurd and not within the realm of possibility. 

“Why are you looking at me like that, honey? Do you seriously feel safe around her? We need to go somewhere else.” 

Kathy immediately shook her head. “No. We’ve been walking around for hours. I’m fucking exhausted, Travis! I’m not going back out there. I’m not.”

Travis gave Ellie a quick up and down, disgust written all over his face. “I’m not sharing this van with her. She is a danger to us all. You’re pregnant, and I can’t risk anything.” 

“And you’re gonna make a pregnant woman walk some more ?” 

“Goddamn it, Kathy, we don’t know what we’re working with here!”

Kathy crossed her arms in growing frustration, her jaw clenched as she tried to remain level-headed. Ellie had gotten enough of their bickering and moved to the bed to retrieve her backpack. Travis’s eyes had quickly bounced to Ellie the second he saw her movement out of the corner of his eye. Kathy turned her head to observe Ellie as well, and they both fell silent. Ellie could feel their eyes boring into the back of her skull as she holstered her gun and put her journal inside her backpack, zipping it closed. She felt her back pocket briefly, just to make certain that her switchblade was there. Lastly, she grabbed Joel’s tan leather jacket from where it had been haphazardly thrown on the bed, hastily putting it on. When she had everything she needed, she turned around, yet again meeting eyes with the married couple who watched her every move. It was almost as if they were waiting for her to twitch.

Ellie cleared her throat. “The van is all yours.” she firmly stated, leaving no room for disagreement, making her way toward the door. Travis didn’t waste a second moving out of the way of the door, but Kathy was hesitant; she stayed standing where she was as if she was tethered to the floor, looking at Ellie pitifully. Her lips were fixed in a slight frown and her expression could only be read as sympathetic. Ellie mustered a barely noticeable smile, hoping to extinguish any feelings of sorrow that Kathy was feeling. 

Kathy stood in front of the door for several minutes before finally moving to the side, joining her husband. Ellie sauntered toward the door, her footsteps heavy, but before she left, she glanced at the married couple over her shoulder one last time. Kathy had waved at her, returning the same smile that Ellie had given mere seconds ago. Her eyes then migrated to Travis, who’s expression was dour, large hands still clutching his gun; Kathy had holstered hers long ago.

Despite the situation that Ellie found herself in, she could only feel content. The travel van that she was just beginning to call her home was no longer hers, but she didn’t feel sorrow when she had to part with it. Ellie’s conscience was put at ease knowing that she had just helped a couple, soon-to-be-family, find somewhere stable and mostly secure to settle down in, even if just for the time being. 

She stole one last look at the van, before focusing her attention on the imaginary path ahead of her – but she had only taken a couple of steps before she heard the door of the van swing open once more. She turned around, being greeted by Kathy, who was holding a handful of granola bars with an apologetic smile. She waved Ellie over, gesturing for her to come closer. Ellie obeyed, silently walking over and looking at her curiously.

When she approached, she held out her hands, waiting for Ellie to accept her offering. "Take these," she said, voice firm. "It wouldn't be right for us to kick you out and not give you a, uh…. parting gift, of some sort." She spoke.

Ellie shook her head. "You didn't kick me out. It's okay, really," she glanced at the granola bars in Kathy's hands. "And you should keep those. Any kind of food is hard to come by all the way out here." 

Kathy sighed, eyebrows furrowing in bubbling impatience. Suddenly, with confident strides, she walked behind Ellie and unzipped her backpack, stuffing the granola bars inside. "Exactly, which is even more of a reason to give you these." She said as she closed up the backpack. When she was facing Ellie again, she let out a series of chuckles upon seeing Ellie's look of defeat, standing there with her bag just a little heavier.

Ellie adjusted the straps of her backpack as she shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "Thanks. That was, uh… really kind of you." 

Kathy absentmindedly rested her hand on her protruding stomach. "It was the least I could do." 

There were a few beats of silence that passed between the two women as they looked at each other, sharing glances of mutual acknowledgment at the fact they would be parting ways. Kathy gave Ellie one final grin, waving once more and waiting half a second for Ellie to wave back, before heading back toward the entrance of the van. Ellie continued to stare until the door was closed shut.

Once again, that familiar feeling of loneliness had reappeared as she looked at the road ahead of her, walking forward into the unknown. 

She wasn’t sure where she was going, she was simply letting her feet take her where they wanted to go. Ellie wasn’t in any rush, either, walking casually as if she was taking a stroll in the park. On either side of her was nothing but forest, the trees tall and imposing, the leaves moving gracefully in the breeze, seemingly breathing as if alive. There were plenty of broken down cars alongside the road, and the occasional animal that would always scurry away once they picked up Ellie’s scent. 

The sky was still a captivating blend of oranges and pinks, but it was noticeably getting darker. There was a slight chill in the air, causing Ellie to wrap Joel's– her jacket around her body more securely, tucking her hands inside of her arms, trying to keep them warm. She was grateful for the granola bars that Kathy had given her, having devoured two of them earlier along her journey. If only she had water to wash everything down; the assortment of nuts and oats not doing much for her already dry throat.

Surprisingly, she hadn’t encountered much trouble during her walk. It was almost unsettling, how barren the world around her was. Ellie observed her surroundings closely, her eyes moving a mile a minute as she anticipated an ambush, whether it be from people or infected. She was tense, ready to pull her pistol from its holster at the slightest of sounds. But the journey remained relatively peaceful. It was a stark contrast from places like Seattle, where Ellie couldn’t go anywhere without a Wolf or a Scar ready to ruin her plans. For the first time ever, even if only momentarily, being alone was not a miserable experience for Ellie, but a tranquil one. She closed her eyes, losing herself in the calming amalgamation of nature’s sounds and the sound of her feet softly hitting the pavement. It was during this moment that fatigue was settling within her aching bones, her gait gradually becoming slower, her eyelids getting harder and harder to keep open without effort. Ellie briefly considered curling up on the side of the road, but as soon as the thought crossed her mind, she was startled awake by the sound of loud and penetrating voices hitting her ears.

Her eyes shot open, looking left, right, and behind her, before realizing that the voices were coming from up ahead. She heard the sound of a group of men conversing with one another before she actually saw them.

“I’m fucking starving. I could eat a horse.”

“We’re all hungry. Just stop complaining, for fuck’s sake.”

“We’re in shitty shape, man. No food. No shelter. Barely any water because your dumbass drank it all. Y’know, I think it’s your fault we’re in this situation.”

“Are you two really bickering right now? Shut the fuck up, Jesus.”

It was mostly dark now, so she quickly turned on her flashlight, but the light was dim and barely helped her with seeing a few feet in front of her. A curse word fell from her lips, knowing full well she didn’t have spare batteries. She thought it would be a better idea to conserve what little light the flashlight was producing, clicking it off. 

The group of men had come into Ellie’s view eventually, and she noticed that they were all heavily armed, with a dog keeping close to their side. Ellie removed her pistol from its holster, gripping it securely. It took several minutes for the men to notice her, but when they did, they stopped for a few long seconds, exchanging words with one another, their voices barely above a whisper. Little did they know, Ellie’s hearing had bettered significantly, and she was tuning in to every sentence.

“That woman looks pretty fucked up. I say we leave her alone.”

“She’s got a backpack. It might be worth searching.”

“Let’s just focus on getting where we need to go-”

“It’s four of us, one of her. We can take her out easily. Let’s get closer.”

Ellie’s finger was now resting on the trigger of her gun. She continued walking closer to them, slowly closing the distance between them. One of the men leading the group spoke first.

“Hey! You there! You alright?” He shouted. He was clad in all black, a shotgun being held in his grasp. 

Ellie didn’t respond. Once again, she began observing her surroundings, searching for a potential escape route. Ellie realized fairly quickly that her best bet would be darting off into the forest if she wanted to lose them. The second man who was walking beside the leader nudged his arm to grab his attention, a sickening smirk resting on his lips. He was carrying another long gun; a rifle. He muttered something else to the man in charge, which obviously did not go unnoticed by Ellie.

“Is she deaf, or what?” He said with a chuckle. The leader only glared at him, effectively silencing him as he returned his attention to Ellie. The distance between her and the men was shrinking, and Ellie, not wanting to immediately provoke them, began walking backwards. She had passed a clearing into the forest on her right side, and decided that she would make a mad dash through the trees.

The leader provoked Ellie once more, this time, his voice much less friendly than before. “Where are you going? We just wanna talk. Maybe we could help each other out.” 

On the surface, his request sounded innocent, but by the sinister smiles plastered on his henchmen’s face, to the overall intimidating nature that they all shared, Ellie had put two and two together. 

But, in typical Ellie fashion, she gave them all the finger before sprinting into the clearing, narrowly avoiding gunshots, the harsh and piercing sound of bullets firing clashing with the gentler sounds of the natural world around them.

With only the moon illuminating Ellie’s path, she had a difficult time trying to see exactly where she was going, noticing a large branch on the ground just a couple seconds too late, tripping over it and landing on the ground. It was during this fall that she also noticed there was a steep incline, steeper than she thought it was, and she was sent rolling down a small hill. She was stopped by a large, thick log, rolling into it and feeling the pain shoot through her shoulder. 

Ellie was effectively winded, frozen on the ground as she tried to recuperate, breathing in and out through her nose heavily. Adrenaline had long been running through her veins, giving her just enough energy to power through the intense pain in her shoulder to stand up. She blinked a few times, her vision spotty; and once she was able to see the environment around her clearly again, she soon realized that her gun had fallen out of her hand some time during her trip down the hill. Panic hit her hard like a bucket of cold ice water as she fell to the ground again, knees digging into the dirt as she pushed away fallen leaves, feeling for the cold metal of her pistol. The men were surely chasing after her and she knew her gun was around here somewhere .

As if matters couldn't get any worse, Ellie picked up the telltale sound of groans and clicking in the distance that never failed to send chills down her spine; and the sounds were very quickly getting closer. 

When Ellie had finally found her pistol, she hastily brushed off leaves and dirt, but before she could even make her next move, there was a horde of infected already shambling toward her from behind, snarling and feral. Ellie was stuck in a crossroads, not wanting to turn her back on the road – but the infected made themselves the more immediate problem. Ellie could see them getting closer and closer. She raised her arm, releasing shaky breaths. She took one step back – stepping on a large rock and losing her footing.

When she felt herself falling to the ground again, a loud shriek escaped her throat, followed by a string of profanities. The infected were right in front of her now, and there was no way Ellie could get back up in time to defend herself.

“She ran in here!” She heard one of the men shout. Ellie shut her eyes tight, believing that her fate had already been sealed, waiting to either get torn apart by the runners or shot to death by the men. 

But neither happened.

The infected had completely surrounded her, but they weren’t attacking. No, they weren’t even looking at Ellie. They seemed to be attracted to the sound of the men shouting, looking around frantically, groaning and convulsing, completely animalistic at the smell of fresh meat. Ellie looked up at them from where she was still lying on the ground, complete and utter bewilderment coloring her features. They weren’t interested in her.

Ellie stood up, slowly, brushing herself off. All of the runners had glanced at her and were aware of their presence, and yet they never touched her; she might as well have been a tree or a rock with how disinterested they were in her.

When the men finally caught up, out of breath and red in the face, they looked ahead, immediately noticing the hoard. But they also noticed Ellie standing directly in the center of it.

One of the henchmen’s jaws practically dropped to the forest floor, watching the sight in front of him in disbelief, fear chilling him to the bone and keeping him frozen. All of the men shared a similar expression, and Ellie could only chuckle at how their eyes comically popped out of their heads.

“Look, everyone.” Ellie spoke to the infected as if they were old friends, feeling a newfound power. “Fresh meat.” 

As if on cue, the runners attacked the four men before they could regain their wits and aim their weapons. The runners wasted no time in digging in, the men screaming in unimaginable agony – until they weren’t, and only the sounds of aggressive chewing could be heard. The dog that was with them had sprinted off into the forest, and Ellie watched the fluffy animal disappear into the distance before refocusing her attention on the runners and their feast.

While the runners were eating, Ellie approached the corpses, checking their pockets (she had to push some runners out of the way, to which some of them would grumble angrily before deciding to snack elsewhere). She took whatever ammunition she could find, stealing the rifle and shotgun as well, both weapons fortunately having been equipped with shoulder straps for easy transportation.

One of the henchmen, who was in the middle of having his leg devoured, had a map in his pocket. When Ellie unfolded it, she gave it a quick once over and realized that it was a map leading to Jackson. Ellie wasn’t sure where she was, but according to the map, Jackson was merely miles away. Not exactly close on foot, but just knowing that the place she once called her home was somewhat nearby took her by surprise. Her plans on returning to Jackson had effectively been turned upside down after the transformations that her body had undergone – but she pocketed the map anyway. Besides showing the location of Jackson, it also displayed nearby restaurants and convenience stores, which could definitely be worth scavenging.

She let the runners finish their meal, walking a little bit further into the forest and sitting down on a tree stump to catch her breath and process everything that had just occurred within the last several minutes.

She turned on her flashlight, removing her backpack from her shoulders. The dim lighting was just enough for Ellie to locate her journal within the bag. She pulled it out, as well as a pen, and opened her journal to a fresh page. She felt the need to document the changes that were happening to her body to better understand everything that she had been experiencing.

Before she began writing, though, she reached into her bag once more to pull out a granola bar. After unwrapping it, she finished it in just a few bites. She threw the wrapper to the ground and finally put her pen to the paper.

Okay. I totally just fucking cheated death just now.

Not only are mushrooms growing out of me, but I have superpowers too, apparently.

I can hear peoples’ voices from miles away as if they’re standing right next to me. I can smell everything around me – the grass, the soil, rotting animal carcasses… I could even faintly smell those guys who tried to kill me before I even saw them. 

I also feel hunger more intensely than the average person. Whenever I get hungry, I get these god awful cramps that hurt more than any other kind of pain I’ve ever fucking experienced. Thankfully, though, I haven’t felt the desire to eat human flesh. Not yet, anyway.

The craziest thing, though, is the fact that other infected don't even pay attention to me. Like I’m not even there. They get close to me, but they aren’t hostile. I still can’t believe it. 

When all this shit started happening to me, I thought I was some kind of monster. But all of these… symptoms of my infection… are actually proving to be kind of useful. I’m conflicted.

I’ve never felt more alone. There’s nobody else going through this but me. I wish I had answers. I wish

Ellie stopped mid-sentence when she felt a cold nose poking her hand. Startled, she retracted her hand, but her nerves were quickly calmed when she noticed that it was the dog from earlier. He was a beautiful golden retriever, although he wasn’t very golden anymore because of how dirty he was. A small grin broke out on Ellie’s face, and she reached her hand out, hesitant, anticipating aggressiveness, but the dog didn’t growl or bare any teeth – instead, he sat there patiently, tail wagging as he waited to be pet. Ellie did just that, running her fingers through his slightly matted fur. Pets were never really Ellie’s thing – but she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t thoroughly enjoying the furry friend’s company.

“Hey, buddy,” Ellie said softly. “I thought you had run away.”

The dog just continued to sit there, staring up at Ellie with big, round eyes. Ellie’s heart was warm at how truly and undeniably adorable he was. In a world full of ugly people, infected and non-infected alike, this wide-eyed golden retriever that was currently resting his head on Ellie’s leg, satisfied at receiving affection, was a reminder that not everything in this world was ugly.

An idea had popped into Ellie’s mind, causing her to momentarily pause the headpats that she was giving. The dog whined, nudging her hand. Ellie giggled at the feeling. 

“Wait just a moment, buddy. Are you hungry? I got something for you.” Ellie said.

She closed her journal and put it back in her bag, the pen acting as a bookmark, mentally making a note that she would finish the entry later. She then pulled out the very last granola bar (it was chocolate free, Ellie noted).

The dog’s ears perked up at the crinkle of the wrapper. When the granola bar was free from its plastic sheath, Ellie placed it in the palm of her hand, holding it out to him. The dog sniffed the bar curiously, briefly looking up at Ellie as if asking for permission to eat it. Ellie smiled. “Go on. It’s all yours.” She muttered, and as if the dog could understand her, he gobbled up the granola bar in one bite. 

While he was chewing, Ellie glanced at the dog’s neck. She noticed that he was wearing a collar. She reached out and grabbed the silver pendant, holding up the flashlight in front of it to read the engraving. 

“Your name is… Otis? God, who would name you Otis?” Ellie spoke in an amused tone, a laugh bubbling out of her throat. 

After the touching moment, silence had befell the both of them briefly. Otis’s head had returned to its resting position on top of Ellie’s leg, and Ellie absentmindedly continued petting him as she stared off into space. It was nearly pitch black outside if not for the moonlight and Ellie didn’t feel entirely comfortable continuing her journey on the road without being able to see her surroundings very well – it seemed like another ambush just waiting to happen. But Ellie didn’t seem to have much of a choice; sleeping in the middle of the forest didn’t seem to provide a lot of safety either.

The gears in Ellie’s mind were turning as she considered her options. But she was suddenly stirred by her thoughts when Otis had run off into the distance, and Ellie had immediately missed the warmth of his head on her leg and the feeling of his fur between her fingers. She sighed, getting up and slinging her backpack on, her muscles sore and aching from the events that had transpired just moments prior. She could especially feel the pain in her shoulder now that the adrenaline had dissipated. She knew without even having to look at it that there was definitely a pretty black and blue bruise that had formed.

Ellie stood up from the tree stump, stretching her limbs, before making her way back to the open road.

She didn’t get very far, though, when she heard two loud barks. She froze in her tracks, a smile almost immediately breaking out on her face when she turned around to be met with Otis again. She kneeled down and opened her arms, to which Otis ran into Ellie’s embrace happily. 

“Are you gonna leave me or not? Make up your mind, little guy.” She asked playfully. Otis barked again, and Ellie put a finger to her lips as if Otis could understand what that meant.

“Quiet, boy. We don’t wanna attract any unwanted attention, yeah? I’m still pretty worn out from earlier, aren’t you?” Ellie questioned with a lighthearted chuckle.

Otis allowed Ellie to pet him a few more times before removing himself from her arms and scurrying off again, but this time he stopped just a little bit ahead of Ellie, staring at her with those big, round eyes. His tail was wagging behind him excitedly. Ellie cocked her head, much like a confused animal would, returning the eye contact with Otis.

“What is it, boy?” Ellie asked. Otis trotted only a tad further into the distance before stopping again and turning his head to look at Ellie once more. 

“Ah, I see,” Ellie began. “You want me to, uh… follow you?”

As if trying to answer her question, Otis barked again. Ellie immediately kicked into gear, following the dog just to get him to stop making noise.

“Okay, okay.” Ellie said.

Ellie followed Otis silently, wondering to herself why she was even following some random dog in the first place. You should be back on that road, Ellie thought. This is a complete waste of time.

Ellie sighed, considering turning around and leaving the dog for good as it seemed like he just wanted to go on a stroll, until she saw something just up ahead. A cabin.

Otis had led Ellie to shelter.

A grin that stretched from ear to ear appeared on Ellie's face, her eyes widening in surprise. She called Otis over and showered him affection, endless praise spilling from her lips.

"You're the best, aren't you, boy? I'll take this over a fucking travel van any day." 

Ellie slowly walked up to the cabin, Otis following close behind. From what she could see outside, she noticed a warm, faint glow emanating through the front windows, perhaps from a fireplace or a lantern.

Removing her pistol from its holster, she knocked on the large wooden door. It didn’t open immediately, which Ellie had expected. Instead, she heard a muffled voice from the other side. 

“What do you want?” She said curtly, her voice stern. Otis’s ears perked up at the sound of the person’s voice, her tail wagging in eagerness. 

“I don’t want any trouble. I, uh… I need somewhere to sleep for the night.” Ellie replied. There was silence on the other end for several minutes as the person was seemingly contemplating. The silence stretched on for so long that even Otis had become impatient, letting out high-pitched whines. Ellie placed a comforting hand on his head, rubbing gently.

Ellie sighed, tiredly running her other hand through her unkempt hair. “Please… I just need someplace to rest-”

Her sentence had abruptly ended when the door had finally swung open, and she was met with the barrel of a gun being pointed directly into her face. In mere seconds, Ellie raised both of her arms, her gaze shifting from the weapon to the woman’s steel gaze. She looked to be no younger than Ellie, or possibly slightly older, and she had long, dark hair collected into two braids that complimented her olive skin tone. She was clad in white jeans (that were definitely whiter when we're brand new) and a forest green blouse, a black jacket over her shoulders. Ellie noticed that her eyes had widened considerably, as she was visibly bewildered by Ellie’s appearance. 

“You– You have fifteen seconds. I suggest you leave.” The woman threatened.

“I’m not infected! I know what this looks like, but please-” Ellie started, but the woman only stepped closer to her, the pointed gun in her hands never wavering for a second, to which Ellie subsequently took a small step back. 

“Bullshit.” The woman spat. 

“I swear .” Ellie replied. She could see the woman’s eyes rake across her skin as she observed her closely. She had fallen silent now, and Ellie could tell the woman was mulling over a decision in her mind. While she was taking those few minutes to contemplate, Ellie spoke again.

“Look, I can’t explain– this whole situation,” Ellie said, gesturing to the fungal growth that covered her body. “But I won’t hurt you.” 

The woman still kept her contemplative gaze, but her eye contact with Ellie was broken when she noticed a small movement out of the corner of her eye. When the woman looked down, that’s when she noticed Otis, lying patiently next to Ellie’s shoes, her head resting on the top of her paws. The woman’s hand began to shake as she finally felt her resolve crumble, and with a sigh, she lowered her weapon, stepping aside to make room for Ellie and her furry friend to come in.

“Get inside. Quickly.” She said curtly. Ellie didn’t hesitate, walking into the woman’s residence with hurried steps, Otis following behind her. 

When Ellie had come in, the woman poked her head outside once more, looking left, and then looking right, before shutting it closed and locking it behind her. Ellie briefly watched as Kennedy grabbed a nearby chair and placed it under the doorknob.

Upon being welcomed inside, Ellie took several moments to observe her new surroundings. Ellie could tell she was in the middle of a living room, noticing a couch, recliner, and a glass coffee table among other things. There was a fireplace in said living room, the sound of the fire crackling resonating throughout the small space and basking it in a warm, orange glow. In front of the glowing fire was a small throw pillow and a blanket that had been folded to create a makeshift mattress of sorts, as well as another, slightly smaller blanket folded on top. Ellie removed her jacket, already beginning to feel quite warm, the heat of the fire having effectively filled the entire room. She wasn’t sure how long the woman would let her stay for, but she was going to enjoy every second. After placing her long guns on the table, Ellie made her way toward the fireplace, sitting down in front of it and holding out her hands. Otis had the same idea, taking his spot next to Ellie. 

The woman was still standing by the door, gun in hand, but her finger wasn’t on the trigger. She watched Ellie closely, her eyes raking over all the parts of Ellie’s body where fungal growth could be seen. The woman still chose to keep her distance, as she wasn’t entirely sure what to expect from the mysterious stranger.

Ellie felt a pair of eyes on her back, and she turned around to be met with the woman’s stare. Ellie wasn’t surprised in the slightest that the woman seemed to be put off by her presence. She didn’t question her blatant discomfort and opted for making light conversation instead.

“Thanks. For letting me in.” Ellie started. She wasn’t really expecting a response, so she turned her back toward the woman again, her mind wandering elsewhere as she observed the burning wood. 

“No problem.” The woman replied, much to Ellie’s surprise. Ellie turned back around and saw that the woman’s eyes were no longer cold and sharp but instead much warmer, softer, a glint of curiosity hidden in them. Her voice had also lost its sternness, her words coming out much lighter. She opened her mouth to speak again. 

“I’m Kennedy.” She said. Ellie repeated the name in her head, even though she’d probably be asked to leave after a couple of days and would never see her again. Regardless of how long she would know this woman, she couldn’t think of a reason to not share her name as well.

“Ellie.” She said simply.

Kennedy gave her a small, barely noticeable grin of acknowledgement. After the exchange of names, they were both quiet for a few minutes as the both of them tried to move past the initial stage of meeting someone. Kennedy remained rooted in front of the door, leaning against it and holstering her weapon. Ellie was in the middle of running her fingers through Otis’s fur, watching the tufts of golden blonde poke through the space in between them, when Kennedy decided to break the ice first.

“So… where did you come from?” She asked. Ellie knew that Kennedy probably had more pressing questions at the tip of her tongue, more than likely relating to the fact that she was covered in bites and had mushrooms emerging from her skin, but wasn’t ready to ask. At least, not yet.

“I stayed in an old travel van a few miles from here. It was shitty but better than nothing.” She replied. Kennedy nodded, listening intently.

“I see… so you walked all the way here, I presume?”

“Yeah,” Ellie said. She cleared her throat. “What about you? How’d you even find this place?”

Kennedy chuckled softly. “Before I came here I was with a group of people. We were living out of some grocery store. Got separated…” she trailed off, staring at the hard wood floor beneath her blankly. Ellie sensed that she had begun reliving some kind of unpleasant memory, but before she could say anything about it, Kennedy shook her head, as if trying to dispel the sudden thought. 

“We, um, got separated, and I ran off in a random direction. I guess I just got lucky… coming across this.” She said, gesturing to the cabin itself. 

“Real lucky.” Ellie added. Kennedy nodded in agreement. 

“Yeah…” she said quietly. 

Suddenly, she stopped leaning on the door and walked toward Ellie, grabbing a backpack that had been placed on the recliner on the way, before sitting down next to her on her folded blanket. She still left a considerable amount of space between them.

“How long have you been staying here?” Ellie questioned. 

“Only for a few days. I actually plan on leaving tomorrow morning, though.”

Ellie perked up at that. “Where to?”

“A place called Jackson.”

Ellie fell silent, feeling a familiar tenseness in her shoulders. Her stare was blank as she looked ahead at the flames in front of her. 

“Jackson?”

Kennedy looked at Ellie quizzically. “Yeah. You heard of it? Had a friend tell me that they had food, clean water, shelter, electricity, a decently sized community… seems like a great place to stay. It could be a rumor for all I know, but I had to find out for myself.”

“I know about Jackson,” Ellie replied. Kennedy looked at Ellie in surprise. 

“Are you from there?” She asked excitedly, eyes shimmering with hope.

“I, um… know about people from there.” 

A smile had broken out on Kennedy’s face upon hearing this information. She scooted closer to Ellie, and whether it was a subconscious or conscious action, Ellie wasn’t sure.

“Would you happen to know if it’s nearby? All my friend told me was to keep heading north. At least, that’s what she heard from other people.”

Ellie’s eyebrows had furrowed slightly in confusion. “She didn’t give you any landmarks, at least?”

Kennedy shook her head. “No..” she said.

“So you’ve just been wandering around, hoping and praying to some higher power that you’re going in the right direction?” Ellie couldn’t hide the amusement in her tone nor could she fight the smile that was tugging on the corner of her lips. Kennedy also found herself sporting a mirthful expression in response to Ellie’s blatant teasing.

“Listen, a lead is a lead, okay? Now, do you know if Jackson is close by or not?” Kennedy asked, suppressing giggles that threatened to bubble from her throat. 

“You really are lucky, then. You’re not too far off. But, uh,” Ellie thought about the map that she found earlier. She grabbed her backpack, opening it up and pulling out the folded piece of paper from inside. She handed it to Kennedy.

"This might help you out." Ellie said.

Kennedy could only gawk at the piece of paper, effectively being stunned into silence. She stared at it for a few long seconds as if she thought it was going to vanish from Ellie’s hand. She accepted the map, looking at it in awe. 

“Holy shit. How did you find this?”

“I guess I… got lucky?” Ellie replied, echoing Kennedy’s words from earlier, to which Kennedy let out a genuine, hearty laugh that shook her whole body and even had Otis poking his head up in curiosity, disturbed by all of the sudden ruckus.

Ellie noticed Kennedy’s wide smile, mirroring the expression. Kennedy’s laugh was truly contagious, and the infectiousness of the sound had spread to Ellie, causing a few chuckles to escape her throat.

Eventually, Kennedy had calmed down, feeling a little out of breath from the exertion that comes from having a good laugh. 

“Thank you, Ellie. Really.” Kennedy said. “I’m… glad you found me when you did.” 

Ellie shrugged. She felt that same warmth she felt when she helped the married couple just mere hours ago. “Don’t mention it.”

After tucking away the map in her backpack, Kennedy began rummaging inside for something else. She found what she was searching for eventually, pulling out a tupperware bowl full of clean cuts of meat. Ellie wasn’t even fully aware of how hungry she actually was until seeing it, and Otis was now giving Kennedy all of his attention, automatically equating the bowl in Kennedy’s hand to something to do with food.

“Please excuse my lack of hospitality,” Kennedy said, teasingly. “You must be pretty hungry, huh? Here, you can have this.” She outstretched her arm and offered Ellie the bowl of meat, to which Ellie gladly accepted and tore open the lid in the blink of an eye.

“Thanks,” she said. “A lot.” 

Kennedy chuckled. “It’s not a problem. Oh, and there should be enough in there for the dog, too.” She said.

Before Ellie dove in and had a few strips herself, she took out some pieces of meat to give Otis. Otis ate them happily, tail wagging against the rug. Once Otis was satisfied and taken care of, Ellie ate the remaining pieces, so hungry that she was eating faster than she intended to but she didn’t really care all that much. The meat was bland, like she expected it to be. It wasn’t anything she wasn’t used to at this point. She still devoured the meat anyway, too starved to give a damn.

There was a comfortable silence that had fallen over the both of them as they sat in front of the fire. Ellie didn’t realize it until now, but she missed being in the company of somebody else. She missed having someone to have a conversation with, and for once, it was nice to feel truly safe. In the travel van, she always found herself peering out of its few windows at the slightest noise. There was obviously no one around to speak to; to befriend. 

She thought she had gotten used to being alone. But Kennedy made her realize that she was far from truly accepting her loneliness. Ellie didn’t want the sun to rise, because then that meant Kennedy would leave; and her worst fear would become true once more.

But she knew she couldn’t talk Kennedy out of her trip. She wouldn’t want to, anyway. Ellie knew that Jackson would be a far better place for her than in a small cabin out in the middle of the woods.

“I want to ask you a few things.” Kennedy’s voice pulled Ellie out of her mind. 

“Ask away.” Ellie said. She braced herself.

“So. You’re immune.” Kennedy didn’t phrase it like a question; more like a statement, to which Ellie nodded. 

“Yeah.” 

“When… when did you find that out?”

Ellie sighed, taking some minutes to compose herself. “When I was 14.” she replied, silently hoping that Kennedy wouldn’t pry for more information after that.

“Shit. You were so young.” Kennedy said. Ellie nodded.

“Can I… touch it? I won’t hurt you, will I?” Kennedy inquired. It had caught Ellie a little off guard, but she was thankful that Kennedy wasn’t asking for more details about how she got her first bite, so she didn’t mind. She held out her arm, and Kennedy had reached out her hand but she hesitated. She met Ellie’s eyes, once again asking for permission non-verbally, to which Ellie simply nodded.

Kennedy’s fingers slowly touched the fungal growth on Ellie’s arm. She did the same thing Ellie did when she first got it, tugging on them and attempting to twist and bend them. Kennedy’s expression was that of innocent curiosity as she continued to feel Ellie’s arm. She glanced up at Ellie occasionally, checking for any signs of discomfort, but Ellie only sat there patiently.

“They’re so hard,” Kennedy observed. “And it doesn’t hurt?”

Ellie lightly shook her head. “No, I promise. It’s itchy sometimes. That’s about it.”

“I see. Man, it’s crazy to see these things up close. Can’t really get close to a clicker.” Kennedy said. Ellie exhaled sharply through her nose, the sound resembling something of a chuckle. 

“I didn’t think anyone like you even existed. I wonder if there’s more immune people.” 

Ellie quickly shook her head. Kennedy noticed the slight movement out of the corner of her eyes. She was finished analyzing Ellie’s arm, meeting Ellie’s gaze. She was quiet, allowing Ellie to elaborate.

“There is no one else.” Ellie said softly but with finality in her tone, her eyes filled with sincerity. 

“There has to be. I mean, people could be hiding it or something. It’s not like they can just going around telling ever-”

“There is. No one. Else .” Ellie interrupted, her voice coming out more stern then she intended it to. Kennedy was effectively silenced, and Ellie watched the hope dissipate from her eyes as she leaned back, hugging her knees to her chest and staring off into the fire. Ellie mentally cursed herself for being the one to suddenly shift the mood.

“Shit. I’m sorry.” Ellie said. 

After a few beats of silence, Kennedy sighed. "It's okay. I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable."

Ellie was quick to distinguish any ounce of self-blame that Kennedy was feeling. "You didn't. I didn't mean for it to come out the way." 

Kennedy gave Ellie a small smile. "It's alright, Ellie. Let's just move on, yeah?" 

Ellie nodded, wordlessly agreeing. She cleared her throat. 

"So, anyway… you wouldn't happen to have anything to wash this down with, would you?" 

Kennedy once again reached into her bag and pulled out a canteen. She shook it, and she frowned when she heard that there was very little water left. 

"This is all I have. But you can have the rest of it." 

Ellie was quick to decline. "No… you'll need that for your trip tomorrow-" 

"Please." Kennedy insisted, a faint grin resting on her lips and a finality in her tone that Ellie just couldn't say no to. She accepted the water, nodding her head as a silent thanks. 

She wasted no time in chugging the remaining water that was inside the canteen, eagerly lapping up every last drop. Otis stared at her curiously, whining to get Ellie's attention; but Ellie had already emptied the canteen. 

Ellie looked down at Otis apologetically, petting the top of her head for compensation. “I’m sorry, buddy.”

Kennedy frowned while observing the interaction, immediately being kicked into action. She grabbed her gun and reached out her hand to take the canteen. “I can get some more water. The nearest lake is a bit of a walk, but-”

“It’s alright,” Ellie started. “I’m sure he can make it through the night.”

“You sure?” Kennedy asked. Ellie nodded.

“Okay.” She replied, sitting back down in front of the fire.

With an audible yawn, Kennedy laid down on her back. Ellie continued sitting upright, staring emptily into the fire.

“Aren’t you tired, Ellie?” Kennedy asked. Ellie just shrugged.

“I’m fine. Just… thought I should keep an eye out.” She replied.

Kennedy chuckled at Ellie’s paranoia. “Hey, we’re safe here, I promise. I’ve been alone here for a while now and you’re the first person to find this place.” 

Ellie would be lying if she said that she wasn’t beginning to feel the exhaustion overtaking her. Aside from the fact that she had quite the tiring day, many of the nights she spent in the travel van were sleepless ones, and all those missed hours of rest were certainly catching up to her. She could feel it in the way her bones ached with every slight movement, and how her eyelids were getting heavier and heavier with each passing minute. Even Otis had fallen asleep before her, lying on his side, his chest rising and falling slowly. The fire wasn’t helping, either, only adding to her fatigue as the fire’s warmth encompassed her body like a thick blanket.

Ellie sighed, ultimately making the choice to listen to the signals her body was giving her. 

Ellie started to lay down, grabbing her backpack to use as a pillow.

“Wait,” Kennedy said. Ellie froze, turning her body around to see what Kennedy was up to.

Kennedy took the blanket she was lying on top of and unfolded it, placing it on the floor in a way that would allow Ellie to lie on top of it as well. 

“There. So you’re not sleeping directly on the floor.” Kennedy said with a smile. Ellie gave her a barely noticeable grin in return as a silent thanks. 

When Ellie had laid down comfortably, Kennedy grabbed a second blanket of hers and covered the both of them with the soft fabric. There was just enough of it so that the both of them could fit under it comfortably. Kennedy was lying on her back, her hands behind her head, whilst Ellie was lying in the fetal position, facing away from her. There was a comfortable silence that fell between the two of them. Ellie’s eyes had fallen closed, and she felt the looming presence of sleep creeping up to her–

“Ellie.” Kennedy whispered. “Are you sleeping?”

“No.” Ellie replied. 

“I just… have more questions I wanna ask you.” Kennedy said. Ellie could have simply told her to ask them tomorrow, but she hadn’t had any kind of company in what felt like an eternity, and she knew that Kennedy would be leaving as soon as the sun rose, so she gave Kennedy her full attention.

Ellie turned her body around, still remaining in a position akin to the fetal position but facing Kennedy. Kennedy adjusted her position as well, now facing Ellie. There was still a decent amount of distance between the two of them, but they were much closer together now. For anybody else, the close proximity would have probably caused some level of discomfort, but Ellie didn’t find herself shying away.

“Shoot.” Ellie said.

Kennedy cleared her throat. “Um, so… can I ask what happened to your hand? I noticed it when you first came in, but I didn’t wanna bring it up at the time…”

Ellie was silent.

“You don’t… have to answer. Or tell me the full story. I’d hate to make you uncomfortable… again-”

“I got in a fight, and the person I was fighting… bit them off.”

Ellie could see Kennedy’s eyes widen and her eyebrows raise even in the darkness of the room. “Holy shit. They… bit them off?” Kennedy repeated, disbelief evident in her tone. Ellie nodded in confirmation.

“Yeah,” She said quietly. 

“Well, I hope you won that fight. Did you?” Kennedy asked. 

“Sure did.” Ellie lied. Kennedy didn’t suspect otherwise, chuckling at Ellie’s answer. 

“Hell yeah.” Kennedy responded, a light grin resting on her face. Shortly after, though, the grin quickly faded.

“Oh and… sorry about that.” Kennedy added. 

Ellie shrugged. “I’ve… gotten used to it.” She replied.

“Having only eight fingers… what does it change for you?”

Ellie was quiet for a moment as she thought about her answer. “Well, uh… holding guns felt a little weird, but I figured that out pretty quickly. I’m not left-handed, which is a good thing I guess, but… I think the thing I’m upset about the most is that I can’t play guitar.”

Kennedy let out a barely audible gasp, but Ellie picked up on it. “You play guitar? Or, um… played?”

Ellie nodded. “Yeah. Did… did you?” She asked.

A wide smile broke out on Kennedy’s face, stretching from ear to ear. “Yeah, actually. I played guitar for years. Even had one of my own, back when I was with my group. But when we got attacked, I had to… leave it behind.” Kennedy’s voice began to shake. “I miss playing so much. It really just… took my mind off of everything, y’know? Felt like I was back with my friends and family… sorry, I’m rambling, aren’t I?”

Almost subconsciously, Ellie reached out her hand, gently placing it on Kennedy’s arm.

“Losing the one connection to your past… I get it. And I’m sorry.” Ellie said softly. 

Kennedy didn’t say anything in response, the sound of her occasional sniffles filling the silence of the room. 

“Y,know,” Ellie began. “When you get to Jackson, you might be able to find a new one.”

“A new guitar?” Kennedy asked. Ellie nodded. 

“Yeah. The people there trade stuff all the time, you might get lucky.”

“Maybe…” Kennedy trailed off. 

When silence befell the two of them again, Ellie took that time to roll over onto her back, staring up at the ceiling. Subconsciously, she scratched the area of her arm where the fungal growth was located. 

“When you get to Jackson, what are you gonna do?” Ellie inquired, curiosity lacing her tone. 

“Let’s see,” Kenney said, releasing a sigh as she contemplated her answer for a moment. “Honestly? I just want to be able to settle down and start over. I wanna create a new life for myself. Meet new people.” She explained. 

“I’m sure you’ll be able to do that.” Ellie replied.

Slowly, Kennedy’s wistful expression morphed into one of confusion. “Why don’t you… come with me?” She asked.

Ellie stiffened, sitting up and resting her forearms on her knees. Almost immediately, Kennedy sat up as well, maintaining eye contact with her despite the fact that Ellie was now zeroing in on the fire in front of her. 

Ellie found herself picking at the fungal plates on her arm. 

“I can’t.” Ellie said, after a few moments of heavy silence.

Kennedy’s eyebrows furrowed. “Why can’t you? I mean, do you really wanna stay out here?”

Ellie shrugged. “No one in Jackson would want me around when I look like this .”

Kennedy’s eyes briefly went up and down the length of Ellie’s body like it was her first time seeing the fungal growth on her skin. “Give them enough time, and I’m sure they’ll get accustomed to it. I mean, I did.”

The chuckle that was emitted from Ellie’s throat was a humorless one. “Some people might get used to it. Other people won’t. They’d only feel unsafe around me… and I don’t want that.”

“But you’re not a threat–”

“I’m not going back, Kennedy. There’s no place for me there anymore.”

Kennedy scooted closer to Ellie. “Anymore?” She asked, subtly urging Ellie to elaborate.

“I… used to live in Jackson. For quite a while, actually.”

“Why did you–”

“I don’t wanna get into why I left. I just want you to understand. I can’t go back. I don’t even want to go back. Not right now, anyway.” Ellie said with finality in her tone.

Kennedy nodded, a deep frown etched into her features. She began fiddling with a loose string on the blanket.

“I’m sure the people there miss you.” Kennedy said. 

“For all I know, they probably think I’m dead. Or at the very least, they’re not concerned with me anymore.”

“But you’re not dead. And there is still time for you to–”

“You can’t convince me, Kennedy. I’m sorry.”

“Right. I understand.” She said quietly.

With a sigh, Ellie began putting out the fire. “We should sleep.” She said, abruptly ending their conversation there. 

It took a few minutes to put the fire out, as Ellie carefully observed the flames and waited until they had completely dissipated. When no embers remained, it left the room mostly pitch black, with the exception of a few rays of moonlight filtering in through the curtains. 

Ellie and Kennedy both laid back down atop the blanket, turning away from each other. 

For the first time in a long time, Ellie slept peacefully throughout the night.

—-

The next morning, Ellie woke up to the sound of a door closing gently. 

Kennedy had come from outside, with Otis coming in shortly after. She held two deceased rabbits in her hand. 

"Morning." Ellie said. Kennedy threw a smile in her direction, placing the rabbits in front of the fire. Ellie quickly noticed her rifle that was slung over Kennedy’s shoulders.

"Morning. I went ahead and took Otis out to use the bathroom and to get some air – and sorry I, uh… stole your rifle, but hopefully this can suffice for breakfast. Do you… know how to skin a-"

"I got it. Thanks." Ellie replied. 

“Awesome,” Kennedy said. “Just so you know… there’s a freshwater lake right behind the cabin. It’s roughly a 20 minute walk. I recommend boiling it before you use it for anything. Obviously there’s plenty of wood around for the fireplace.”

“Okay.” Ellie replied simply. She noticed that Kennedy was about to put the rifle back down where she found it, and quickly halted her movements, to which Kennedy glanced at her in slight confusion.

“Keep it.” Ellie said. Kennedy seemed taken aback.

“I can’t just-”

“Is your pistol the only gun you have?”

Kennedy paused, but then nodded. “Well… yeah, but-”

“Then please, keep it. You never know when you’ll need a backup. I’ll be fine without it.” Ellie said. She then grabbed her backpack, rummaging inside for a few minutes before pulling out a couple of packs of ammunition and handing it to her.

“Here.” Ellie said. Kennedy humbly accepted the ammunition and the weapon, giving Ellie an expression that could only be read as grateful, before going to retrieve her bag off of the recliner. She pulled out the map that she had hastily thrown inside before slinging the straps over her shoulders. She picked up her gun from the table and holstered it, and threw the strap of the rifle over her shoulder, making her way to the door. But she didn't leave immediately, instead pausing in front of it and turning around to face Ellie. This time, the expression on her face was one Ellie couldn’t quite read. Kennedy stared at the ground for a few moments, almost as if she was contemplating if she really wanted to leave. 

"I guess this is where we part ways." Kennedy spoke solemnly. Ellie gave a small nod, remaining silent. 

A sigh blew past Kennedy's lips. "I take it you still haven't changed your mind?" 

"No. I haven't." Ellie replied. 

"I figured, but I just wanted to make sure." Kennedy said, chuckling humorlessly. "Well, Ellie, before I go… I think it'd only be right to thank you." 

"For what?" 

"Well, for starters, giving me a map so that I know where the hell I'm going,” She replied with a grin. “And… for last night. It's been a long time since I had a conversation with someone. It felt nice." 

Ellie nodded in silent agreement. "Yeah. It did.”

Kennedy’s grin stretched into a smile. "You stay safe out here, okay?" 

“I’ll try.” Ellie responded, a smile of her own creeping onto her features. 

Kennedy shared one more meaningful glance with Ellie before turning around and slowly turning the doorknob. Otis had rested his head on Ellie’s knee, eyes fixated on Kennedy as he watched her leave. As Ellie ran her fingers through his fur, a sudden but sorrowful realization had dawned on her.

“Wait.” Ellie said, and Kennedy was only halfway out of the door when she had stopped in her tracks. 

“Do you think you could take him with you?” Ellie asked, gesturing toward Otis. “There’s no way I’d be able to provide for him out here. Jackson will have everything he needs. Pets were never really my thing, anyway.”

A grin reappeared on Kennedy’s face as she nodded. “Yeah, of course. I’ll take him off your hands.”

“Thank you.” Ellie replied. Kennedy made a short, clicking noise with her mouth, getting Otis’s attention. She gestured for him to come toward her, and like the obedient dog he was, he did just that, trotting over to her while wagging his bushy tail. At that moment, as Otis sat next to her feet, Kennedy seemed to have suddenly remembered something.

“You know, I can’t believe I never asked what his name was.” She said, chuckling incredulously. 

Ellie couldn’t suppress her own chuckles as she thought back to the moment she first found out the dog’s name just last night. “You’ll laugh when you find out what it is.” She said.

“Surely it’s not that bad,” Kennedy replied as she kneeled down to read the dog’s collar. When she had read the name, sharp laughter escaped her throat, just like Ellie had predicted. Ellie found herself laughing with her, while Otis just sat there, completely unaware that the two humans were poking fun at his name.

“Otis?” Kennedy spoke after her laughter had died down. “Man, I can’t say I’ve ever heard that one.”

“Me neither.” Ellie said, a light smile on her face. 

“But,” Kennedy spoke, running her fingers through the dog’s fur affectionately. “I gotta say, it suits him.” 

Ellie gave a small nod. “It really does.” 

When silence dawned on them again, the air around them felt different. Ellie knew that Kennedy couldn’t stick around for much longer. There was a pit that was settling in the bottom of Ellie’s stomach at the realization that she would be alone again. 

“Can I… walk you out?” Ellie asked. Kennedy nodded fervently.

The two of them, plus Otis, walked back outside. Ellie decided to lean against one of the wooden beams on the porch as she watched Otis and Kennedy descend the small flight of stairs and head toward the road. Kennedy stopped after a few steps, though, turning around to face Ellie one last time.

“Do you think that we’ll… cross paths again someday?” Kennedy questioned. 

“Maybe.” Ellie said.

“That’s better than a no, so I’ll take it.” Kennedy replied, grinning playfully.

Suddenly, their departure didn’t feel sorrowful anymore – instead, it felt hopeful. Ellie believed that this would be a new beginning for the both of them.

“See you, Ellie.” Kennedy said.

“Goodbye, Kennedy.” 

With one final wave, Kennedy clicked her tongue again to alert Otis to follow her, and the two of them began their long journey to Jackson.

“You’ll make it to Jackson in one piece, right?” Ellie called out. Kennedy whipped her head around to briefly glance at Ellie. 

“You can count on it.” She replied, giving Ellie a salute. 

Then, her eyes were back on the path ahead of her. 

Ellie watched as Kennedy and Otis got farther and farther away until she could no longer see them. When they had completely disappeared into the dense foliage, Ellie’s gaze wandered elsewhere. In the few minutes that she took to properly observe the life around her, she was struck with something.

 In a world where the overall human population was left decimated, and small towns and large cities completely ruined, there was still so much beauty in the wilderness, and Ellie couldn’t deny that. There was something so profound about the fact that while everything else succumbed to the fate of a lethal fungal infection, mother nature endured. Inside of that old travel van, Ellie never noticed just how vibrant the trees were, and how tall they stood. There were squirrels and rabbits and birds going about their day without a worry in the world.

She may have lost everything. But that didn’t mean she couldn’t start anew. 

There were changes that her body was undergoing, ones that she didn’t fully understand. But Ellie knew that just like every other living thing in the world, she would adapt.

She heard a voice in the far back of her mind:

You keep finding something to fight for.

And fight, she would.

[sick-ada]

CICADA AGENTS MASTERPOST

bc i keep forgetting that i havent actually put much abt my agents on my tumblr and i need to expose the max number of people to my blorbos as i can

going under the readmore cause this is gonna get longg

(this has been in my drafts for over a month)

CB-808 (agent 8, she/her) and Bubbles (agent 8 AGAIN, a SECOND TIME, CAN YOU TELL EIGHT IS MY FAV, he/him)

they're "twins", meaning they both woke up without any memories, saw that they were the only two nearby who looked similar (being the only non-sanitized octolings in the metro) and assumed that meant they were twins

they do all of the tests in octo expansion as a duo! this makes some tests easier (like girl power station) and others much harder (like the one with the dualie squelchers and the grindrails, since they have to share the weapon between them)

this kinda fucks with the computer systems and all their mem cakes are blended (lmao) together. they have to work together to figure out whose memories are whose, to varying success levels

very very very codependent. theyll get anxious if you take the other to another room where they cant see each other. proto (cap3) convinced them to do one test separately and CB got so worked up she punched the side of the carriage and permanently dented it

they didnt try a second time

ON THE TOPIC OF CB DENTING THE METAL: shes freakishly strong, in an artificially-modified way rather than a very-strong-but-normal way

after the splatoon 1 campaign, elite soldiers deserted en masse since nearly all of them were at the concert/final-battle, leaving a gaping hole in the octarian military. in an attempt to fill that gap as quickly as possible, volunteers were "purposed" to become enhanced super-soldiers

(ill probably make a dedicated post abt it when i remember but "purposing" is what they do to make octarians (the stubby tentacle guys) into all the different forms you see in-game. debateably ethical to begin with, SUPER unethical to do to actual octolings)

im bad at timelining but she signs up to this when she's like,,, 13. still kinda blobby

functionally, what it did to her was make her freakishly strong (she breaks the handles on doors ridiculously often) and about 50% more resistance to enemy ink. girls a tank. however, she has trouble regulating her strength and therefore cant superjump accurately since she overshoots her target every time

it's also super painful. she permanently lost her voice from screaming too much and cant speak any louder than a whisper, but she knows octarian and inklish sign languages so she gets along fine

her name is CB-808 bc that was the serial number printed on a livestock tag in her ear

BUBBLES ON THE OTHER HAND. not physically fucked up. mentally though................

his parents were some of the elites who deserted after hearing the Inkantation (in my headcanons it's something that can be resisted, but only temporarily). he wanted their approval more than anything so them leaving him was devastating

hes not actually a dude he just think he/him is a cool set of pronouns. heard someone say "him" once and absorbed it into his gender

he lied abt his age to become a scout/reconnaisance (how you spell that??), even if nobody was really gonna check given the situation after splat1

where CB is built like a tank, he's tall and lanky, and also scarily smart. combined with his lack of filter he'll literally just stare at you for 5 seconds before saying some shit like "oh i see. youre scared of us because of our competence and your perception of our alleigances compared to urs"

captain 3 is scared by him more than CB. as they should be.

his name is Bubbles because he has circular markings on his upper arms and CB is not very good at coming up with names (shes an amnesiac teenager give her a break)

theyre both 15 during octo expansion, and 20 by splatoon3

after reaching the surface they move in with flora (4) and his roommate bola (oc) to form the Leftovers Squad, an inksports team and maybe-gang

these two are wonderfully terrible influences and teach the two of them how to defy authority n shit, it's great, ill talk abt it more in their specific sections

CB mains the dynamo but plays it like a splat roller because she's so strong she can swing it with about that speed. Bubbles mains the e-liter and has nutty aim. the kind of duo that makes people realize theyre ex-soldiers

both of them are too obedient to authority, leftover habits from the military even if they don't fully remember their time there. CB is much worse in this regard, since she was more heavily conditioned to follow orders and Bubbles is observant enough to realize when theyre being taken advantage of

FLORA (agent 4, he/she used interchangeably)

part of the Leftovers Squad! a young punk squid that revels in rebellion and violence and showing people what's what

almost entirely deaf. he had pretty bad hearing to begin with, but loud raves without ear protection worsened it significantly. his hero headset functions as hearing aids but he doesnt usually wear them unless he's on NSS missions or patrols or w/e

came to inkopolis when she was 14, but it wasnt intentional. her parents were the kind of awful perfectionists that expected their children to be equally as perfect, so decided to leave flora in inkopolis bc she did awful in school

he was taken under Bola's fin (get it it's a fish pun theyre fish im hilarious) and became enamoured with the adrenaline-fueled, bloody-mouthed rush of fighting, in and out of inksports

the best way i can describe her is "violent for the sake of violence and gleeful about it". she starts a fight with someone twice her size just for the fun of attacking and taking a beating. probably something wrong with her. i love her with every fibre of my being

has absolutely zero respect or trust in authority -- especially adults, which includes Marie since she's 19 in splat2 and he's only 16

still goes along with her whole "hey go save the zapfish" spiel because A) she cant actually hear what marie is saying B) marie gave her some free fancy hearing aids so she GUESSES she has to return the favour somehow C) she wants to fight some octarian soldiers D) she wants to steal her own zapfish (she succeeds, it gets a tank in Leftover Squad's living room) and E) she thinks itll be REALLY funny to fuck with marie

shes right btw. its hilarious

she only follows orders when it's funnier than disobeying them. she puts zapfishes back in levels she wants to complete a second time. she teaches octolings how to play poker (and how to cheat at poker). she lets a squee-g splat her "to see what it feels like"

if callie wasn't missing marie would NOT put up with his bullshit, but alas.

respects agent 3 even less than marie, when they meet, since at least marie has a sense of humour

he's the one who suggests that CB and Bubbles move in with him and Bola after Octo Expansion. less out of his own goodwill and more out of a combination of morbid curiousity and a sense of "bola has a habit of taking weird inkfish under their fin, walking in with two soldiers will be really funny"

gets hypnoshaded 5 years post-splat2 (during the splat3 campaign) and has to be rescued by the leftover Leftovers (lmao) and Off the Hook. octavio doesnt really convince her to put them on, theres no realistic way he could do that, so he physically overpowers her and puts the shades on

he gets rescued tho! so it's all good and absolutely no interpersonal issues come from it i swear (lying)

Bola (they/them, not an agent)

another member of Leftovers Squad and, arguably, its leader

is about as comfortable with violence as flora (read: very comfortable) but, unlike him, doesn't enjoy it for its own sake. when they do a violence, it's for a specific aim and a purpose, even if that purpose seems inane or petty

theyre the leader of the leftovers mostly because theyre the only one with a goal or any sort of purpose. also because theyre by far the most charismatic of the bunch but mostly bc theyre the only one with any direction in life. the other three are happy to just help with that

(calling it a purpose is doing it too much justice, it's a grudge. a massive fucking grudge against Squidforce as a brand and an institution and a company. they want that thing obliterated)

when they first came to inkopolis (they were like 12), they werent a citizen of inkadia so they had no ID and weren't allowed to do official Squidforce battles, so they went to unofficial/illegal/unregulated turf wars to make some cash

this got shut down by squidforce

they decided "no. fuck this. fuck you, im gonna fuck every single one of you over, die." and swore vengeance about as dramatically as a then-13 year old could. luckily, bola was a very dramatic, kinda blobby 13 year old

they met flora when he came to inkopolis and introduced him to the concept of You Can Just Fight These People If You Don't Like Them

would have agreed to housing CB and Bubbles if Flora had just asked but this is fine they guess

theyll be the last to admit they have a compassionate streak, but they have a soft spot for the underbelly of inkopolis and everyone who lives there, most of which are underrepresented or downtrodden by the system that squidforce upholds

theyre an octoling but not an octarian (citizen of octaria, the nation that lost the great turf war and now lives in the domes) like CB and Bubbles are

instead, theyre a weird subspecies of octoling that went back in the water while the "normal" species of inkfish stayed on the surface. they still have most of the same features as an inkfish, like the shapeshifting, but have more aquatic adaptations like gills and razor sharp teeth and being able to swim in water unharmed (ik inkfish dying in water is only dubiously canon but for my headcanons normal inkfish dissolve like ingame if they fall into water)

they also have sepiism! better described in this post this means their ink/tentacle colours are limited to blacks and browns. their subspecies is more prone to this colour mutation than other inkfish since black is a pretty good camoflague colour if youre in the deep ocean. idk i wanted an excuse to make them look cool dont think abt it too hard

they absolutely despise proto (captain 3). aint no world where theyd trust the militaristic authority figure that orders around the two ex-soldiers theyre trying to teach how to be independent

not to mention the grudge they form against the captain after the hypnoshading incident that i will elaborate on i PROMISE its in the next section

aFTER I TALK ABOUT THE LEFTOVERS SQUAD AS A WHOLE. IF I CANT ESCAPE THEM NEITHER CAN YOU

when they meet, post octo expansion, the twins are 15 and the punks are 16, so theyre 20 and 21 respectively by the time splat3 rolls around

flora gets squidnapped just after splat3 campaign (which lasts like a day for reasons that will be evident once i get to neo 3 and "little" buddy), so proto and the squid sisters are in alterna monitoring the situation and doing cleanup while it happens. this will be relevant later. foreshadowing is a technique where--

a couple months after the twins move in, CB discovers inksports and makes the biggest saddest puppy dog eyes at the rest of the squad until they agree to making a league team together. it's also called the leftovers

CB and Flora love it because they enjoy physically fighting people (CB likes that she doesnt have to be permanently hurting people during it, Flora would like it better if there was a lil permanent injury tbh). Bubbles enjoys it because his sister enjoys it and also because he enjoys using his big brain to do sick predicts and snipe people from across the map where he's nice and safe. Bola only joins at first because telling the ex-soldier, who theyve been trying to convince that you dont need peoples permission to do things, "no" would be counterproductive. they hate every moment they have to fight in a squidforce battle. but then once the team gets well-known they realise that squidforce cant get rid of them anymore and uses their platform to absolutely troll the shit out of squidforce

like when they go on interviews and stuff they constantly mention how shitty squidforce is and "yeah i personally prefer [smaller organisation]'s inksports, they have way better maps and modes, squidforce just has a monopoly so..." and squidforce cant do shit bc theyre the charismatic face of this popular new team and itd be bad publicity

CB and Bubbles dont have real IDs cause theyre amnesiac teenagers who made up their own names. flora and bola get them fake IDs that claim CB stands for Courtney Blitz, making bubbles into Bubbles Blitz

CB often gets called Clam Blitz. CB does NOT appreciate this. Bubbles thinks it's hilarious and only answers people who call him "Blam Blitz" for like a week

Bubbles mains the E-liter but likes lots of different anchors, CB exclusively plays her "splat roller" (a dynamo swung really fast), Flora learnt how to play every weapon from the splat2 campaign and can play basically anything (but usually goes for something close-range so his bloodlust gets put to good use. heavy weapons tend to turn into bludgeons in his hands) i dont know what bola would use tbh. i wanna say a splatana but this is set mainly in splat2 so they wouldnt have those. if anyone is still reading this far pls make suggestions in the notes 👍

CB and Bubbles dont have any sense of money (in my hcs, the domes work more on a communal property + bartering system) so they have no reason to object to pearl giving them inordinate amounts of money. bola and flora have to have a conversation where they ask whether pearl is their sugar daddy. this is agonising for everyone involved.

they used the money to buy an unreasonably large bed that they all sleep on together bc theyre my ocs i make the rules

i promised it was proto next. here *throws them like a javelin through the screen

Proto (captain 3, they/them)

i shld probably start at the beginning for them bc their actions through all the games are the catalyst for a Lot of plot

they were raised in calamari county, their parents were friends with callie and maries parents so they hung out a bunch when they were kids. basically the third squid sister, though they get way too bad stage fright to become idols like the other two

hanging out with those two so much also meant a lot of exposure to cap'n cuttlefish. proto idolised him to no end, decided they wanted to be just like him when they grew up

when the squisters went to inkopolis to become idols, proto became their manager. they were also recruited alongside callie and marie into the NSS when craig decided to reform it. ive never actually watched a playthrough of splat1 so i dont actually know how the plot works other than "craig is there and then callie & marie are there" so the next part is probably gonna be more canon parallel than canon adjacent

also because im just making up random shit about splat1. thats probably also a factor

in this version of canon, the octarians dont steal every zapfish you grab at the end of the levels, only the ones used for the boss levels. all the rest are ones owned by the octarians, mostly bred in captivity cause where tf else are you gonna get the power for running the domes

proto isnt an active agent in splat1, it's callie and marie who go in and do the fighting while proto is the one coordinating them and making plans. their plan is to steal all these extra zapfish to strain the domes' resources and then perform the inkantation during the final confrontation to make the maximum number of soldiers (especially elites) desert, all so they become incapable of stealing more zapfish or launching a retaliatory strike

and cap'n cuttlefish approves so surely that means that this is a good plan and any suffering caused is a necessary evil and it's not like this paranoid old man has any biases or grudges that would impede his judgement. surely not

side note: instead of inner agent 3, CB and Bubbles have to fight inner agents 1 & 2. inner-callie targets CB and inner-marie targets Bubbles because i think the roller-charger parallel is cool

the plan works! elites and soldiers desert in droves, neutering the octarian military capability, and octaria has to focus what resources it has on not starving (which it barely achieves, theres a famine regardless) rather than attacking back. it also creates the conditions for bubbles' parents to leave him and for CB to undergo the extremely painful and inhumane procedures to become an enhanced supersoldier but proto doesnt learn this til octo expansion

the squid sister stories proceed basically like canon, but proto dedicates themselves to agent work while marie focuses on the radio and callie focuses on acting. theyre out investigating the metro with craig when callie gets squidnapped so they dont find out until octo expansion finishes (like a few weeks after she gets rescued)

SPEAKING OF OCTO EXPANSION. PROTO IS THERE THE WHOLE TIME

they dont fight CB and Bubbles, theyre a terrible fighter and a bit of a wimp (and those two are kinda terrifying), instead they watch when they get overpowered and captured by a squad of sanitized octolings (those two got sent to investigate since people kept vanishing when they went that way). they still get the same "youre down here because of me" guilt since they chose to watch rather than intervene

they later got into the metro proper and found those same people but like super amnesia'd and a little traumatised already, even if theyre not sure how much of that was already there, and then they get even MORE fucked up because the metro is fucking Like That

also guilt bc they dont actually help with the tests beyond advice thru the comms. can never have too much of that

they get CB and Bubbles out of the blender by removing their special limiter and spamming splashdown on the top til it breaks, getting exhausted and passing out afterwards, letting tartar control them

the hole in the ceiling gets made by CB throwing a bit of broken blender really hard

usually they would get their ass kicked by either CB or Bubbles, let alone both at once, but the two of them are so exhausted and fucked up and a little injured that the fight is closer than anyone would like. the fight ends when CB grabs them by the ankle and slams them into the floor. think that one scene from the avengers with the hulk and loki

unfortunately, since CB is way too scared and full of adrenaline to properly regulate her strength, she completely crushes their ankle and lower leg. since it doesnt splat them, they dont respawn, and everyone is too preoccupied with destroying the NILs statue to get them to a hospital, the leg wasnt salvageable and they had to get it amputated below the knee

theyre an ambulatory wheelchair user, after that. sometimes crutches instead, but they tend to go for the chair in alterna bc crutches and ice do NOT mix trust me on this. i only had crutches for a couple months but i fell on my ass SO much

anyway they reconnect with callie and marie and things are fine and good and theyre totally not avoiding the twins because marina kept updating them on relevant files she found during OE and theyre struggling to reconcile the idea that these are enemies with the undeniable truth that nobody has had a greater negative impact on their lives than them.

probably would be worse if marina told them the twins were 15. good thing she doesnt!

oh yeah i forgot ages. proto is 17 in splat1, 19 in splat2/OE and 24 by splat3

anyway yeah in their efforts to avoid the twins so that they dont have to think about the wide-reaching consequences of their past actions, they dont actually leave them with any way to contact them while they go check out the Crater. itll only be a quick mission, right? no need to worry about it

alterna happens

then they and the squid sisters come back to cuttlefish cabin to find it completely empty, then discover that flora is still in the hospital after having the shit kicked out of him because he was hypnoshaded and they didnt have any low-tide ink because marie wasnt there and they couldnt contact her and they tried and they tried and why didnt anyone answer and

theres a big cool dramatic confrontation where CB and Bubbles reveal they got all their mem cakes and know exactly who proto is and what they did and would have forgiven if they had been honest but now they cant trust their captain and formally quit the NSS

honestly theres more stuff for proto after this but i ahvent actually figured it out yet.

personality-wise, theyre overconfident in their own abilities and underconfident in the abilities of everyone else, they struggle to give control of anything over to someone else. because why would they allow someone else to be in charge when they know that their own plans are automatically so much better?

as they learn about the actual consequences of their splat1 plan via CB and Bubbles' descriptions of their mem cakes, this confidence falters a bit. they spent so long with that plan being one of their greatest achievements that they cant reconcile with the reality that it had devastating consequences for innocent people

this is not at all helped by Flora, who makes no secret of his opinion on proto. at first he's just fucking with them for the sake of fucking with them, the same way he does for marie, but it gets more antagonistic when proto reacts with genuine anger rather than the good humour marie does. flora absolutely does not take kindly to people trying to exert authority over her so she aims to piss off proto at every opportunity

it is very easy for flora to piss proto off

OKAY I HIT THE CHARACTER LIMIT ILL MAKE A SECOND POST FOR THE REST

[fortheloveofaussiegrit]

as someone who spent years having their stuff ripped and reposted to f1twt, i wish someone would've told me this before i went into a months-long spiral about the issue--but honestly, the healthiest thing to do is stop going on twitter and kindly ask ppl to stop letting u know your stuff is being taken.

i know that's easier said than done and sounds wack but honestly! my mental health was literally the stonks meme after i did this!! sometimes you'll come across your shit on pinterest or google again bc of reposters and it'll Suck™, but don't let this stop you from doing things you enjoy, yknow? at the end of the day, twitter engagement (and tumblr engagement too) doesn't mean anything and is completely forgettable. the important thing is, did you have fun making your gifs? sharing insane moments to talk about with friends? did you reach the audience who matters?

the numbers game on socmed hurts a lot, i know. my friends used to talk me down for hours on end about it. but people on twitter don't give two shits about us, so don't give two shits about them; they're not even worth the second-hand smoke you breathe.

sending hugs <3 -user mwebber

hello hello! thank you for ur message<3

I know that you and a lot of others get their content stolen constantly and ahh to me that is still mind boggling that people think its okay to steal someone else’s content but yeah it is what it is

The thing that got to me this time is the privacy of it all. I know im posting on socials but here is very different to twt/tiktok. I’ve never really been one for numbers like if something does well great and obvs there’s stuff i want to do well, but for the most part a lot of my stuff does not get main tagged because it is for a small group of people and myself!

what really gets me and maybe its just me, but the possibility for interaction with real people on twt. For me that is terrifying and the thought of rl people seeing some of my content?? … like why are we putting a gif of Mark grabbing his dick on twitter where he or someone related to him could see it? I didnt main tag it and i know its inevitable that more people will see it but that really fucked with me when i saw that. it still haunts me that the video of with me breathing and making noises from goodwood made it to twt too 🤣 thats what really got to me this time and ive tried to not let it get to me but it’s scary!!! lol

but yeah ive got big girl responsibilities!! and i probably wont be gone for long but yeah:) sending hugs back:))

[miqojak]

14 Associations

Animal: All the ones she has tattoos of! I've gone on at length about just how meaningful her personas are, and how she has them all painted on her skin for the world to see... but loves tricking folks anyways - which probably ties in with her heaviest themes that are tied to the Jackal! So probably a jackal, at the core of it all.

Color: Black, gold, red, white.

Song: I have a really, really hard time picking just one of anything, thanks to my ADHD, so here's her whole playlist again! And since it won't let me link the song in-line due to Tumblr's formatting, I'll link one of the 'most' Jak songs from her list below!

Number: She has no such 'lucky' number, nor do I associate her with one at all!

Day or Night: Preferably day, being a sun cat... but crime is often best done in the dark, so she has a fondness for the anonymity of the night; but like any actual cat, she thoroughly enjoys the high energy of the long, orange shadows of dawn and dusk.

Plant: I didn't have any association with plants for her, but when I think of her homeland, I think of all the pink/red flowers that she remembers being so stark against the white sands, and how she thinks of it as being colored like 'the marrow in a bone'... and the most obvious red desert flower that comes to mind is 'the desert rose'! Bonus, it wouldn't just be native to her home, and something she remembers about it... but it's poisonous! She likely uses it in her home-made poisons she coats her blades in.

"Adenium obesum produces a sap in its roots and stems that contains cardiac glycosides. This sap is used as arrow poison for hunting large game throughout much of Africa and as a fish toxin."

Smell: She makes her own perfume/body oils! It's a spiced scent that's most similar in smell to things like Dragon's Blood (a potent, heady blend of sweet, spicy, and earthy notes that’s infused with cedarwood, orange, clove, and patchouli), and Egytpian Musk (containing blended scents of oils such as frankincense, myrrh, cedarwood, patchouli, and amber).

Gemstone: Absolutely no idea - her DRK soul crystal?! It's the only gemstone she needs. (I describe her green eye as being a pale jade, so maybe that?)

Season: Summer! Maybe also some early fall.

Place: anywhere hot - preferably desert-y places! She likes the sand, and the heat...and does not like forests.

Food: She loves red meat...and fish. So a lot of surf-and-turf type meals for her!

Eorzean Deity: She doesn't believe in them. If the WoL told everyone the gods were real, though, maybe Rhalgr bc he's from her homeland and destruction is what she'd like to wreck on this worthless world.

Eorzean Element(s): I've never given it a lot of thought, since she's not magical - but she's always had people associate her with fire.

Drink: No idea...she drinks coffee in the mornings, and has tried to be more careful with alcohol now that she's finally clear of her addictions, but an ex-lover knew she loved whiskey...and she's a spicy person, so he made a special spicy whiskey called Dragon's Wrath, that she's fond of...even if she'd slaughter the man who created it on sight.

Thanks for the tags @xmimiteh, @whimsyxiv, @dragonsongmakhali, @cactusxwren , and @wpip-raham

Anywho, here's one stand-alone song from her playlist that's a pretty good snapshot of her at any given point - she needs control! And wants to cut away the things that are holding her back, or preventing her from reaching her purpose/pinnacle.

Do this if you haven't done it! I'm very late in doing this, and don't know who hasn't done it yet! (Thanks again for thinking of me! And making me think...)

[aghhtdraws]

ship name or not?

so I wanted to make a short post to get these thougs off my head but it'll get lost on my main so here it goes!

this doesn't really concern anyone who usually visits this blog for art, but it's more a thinkpiece related to the newer/younger tmnt Leo x Usagi ship (rottmnt x usagi chronicles respectively)

I’m seeing a lot of confusion (kinda) abt the tags to use and want to propose an alternative. How about “yuinardo” ? it sounds kind of funny (like the two characters), doesn’t sound like anything else (as far as my google search can reach), uses both their unique names and also capitalizes on how Rise!Leo is often called Nardo by his brothers as a nickname - among others, but that’s one of his most unique nicknames in the series and feels unique to Rise specifically. And Yui bc Yuichi - also just his name but a unique part of it.

I guess maybe the longer name could be something like "cityxfarm sword" bc those are the three consistent elements abt this younger ship. I know the latter is kind of uncreative but I can't think of anything better atm haha x'D

I was never around much for the 2003 leosagi ship bc- I was a baby on neopets and not online enough for that? 2003 tmnt was pretty new here and didn't air as often/quickly but also even in the later 00s, I did not really seek out fanfic relating to it bc - again, teen with not enough time lol, also social media and internet weren't really the thing they are now, so i wasn't really aware there could be fanfic of it. shipped and read other things. So maybe I don't know all my leosagi history. I kinda stayed away from the tmnt fandom in general bc it was mostly all angsty which I didn't really gel with anymore. alternatime ship names have always been a thing in all fandoms but I think right now we've been having the most versions of these two characters or this dynamic than ever before.

the 2018 Rise Leo x Usagi Chronicles has been getting more popular. ROTTMNT was a 2018 reiteration of the tmnt for animation that was really under-appreciated and has slowly become more appreciated as the fandom re-grew with the 2022 movie in august.

Usagi Chronicles is a spin-off/soft-reboot led by fans of Usagi Yojimbo, Stan Sakai's original comic about Miyamoto Usagi, but this time he is a great ancestor of a new character, Yuichi Usagi! and this Usagi is a creation of Doug and Candie Langdale (exec producers) + Khang Le (who I think designed/developed Yuichi's look?). So basically this is like a canon-supported fan-AU with an original character cast thematically based on the og comic cast (Usagi and his friends match Miyamoto Usagi and *his* friends) + the "Senso" Usagi comic as a worldbuilding point.

His naming is a bit confusing bc in Japan, Yuichi is usually a first name, but here in the show it feels like it's treated like a surname. But apparently, there was an intentional marketing move to have this be the opposite? So his real surname is Usagi, while his given name is Yuichi? There was a whole post about it, but I can't remember where else I've heard it.

Anyway, this series is my fave right now and I think it's fun in both it's lightheartedness and it's more touching moments and I love all the character and family dynamics and themes that it has. I think it's fun that people ship him and Rise!Leo because they are actually really similar in some personality aspects. I saw this show, realized there was crossover potential with Rise and thought, "oh, it'll be fun to do actiony scenes and stories with this kind of friendship!" Anyway, I'll do a deep-dive on that later.

Everybody likes this young version of Leo and then I guess at some point before 2021, other fans started making ship art/fic with Usagi? Often their own versions of Miyamoto Usagi, fitted for the Rise TMNT world bc the two never managed to have a crossover with this iteration bc of Nickelodeon pausing the show abruptly in 2020. I wasn't very online in 2018 so idk when else the ship happened, maybe when the finale of the show aired and the "unpausing" was finalized and fans realized there wasn't going to be a crossover? but now with the movie, more ppl have discovered that there's also a cartoon series for Usagi! And more people are slowly understanding/remembering maybe that this Usagi character has had previous iterations, ppl make their own versions/AUs for fun based on the newer Usagi show, or they don't watch the Usagi show and just make their own modern/ROTTMNT versions of Miyamoto Usagi in general.

This ship is a bit unique bc they are stated to be exactly the same age and they have very similar vibes as characters (goofs on the team + faux confidence + showoffs). When I first found that other people shipped this too, I just called it "2020s Leosagi" bc again, just the main thing abt them is that they're younger characters for a younger audience in their respective shows. + it's funny that there's almost a Leosagi friendship for every decade. I've also heard the term "cringe naenae babies" from friends but i don't really know what this meme means lol xD

I don't have beef or anything with the Leoichi/Leochi tag+name but it's sorta confusing for me personally bc it sounds both too short vocally and also like Leo's alone or something (Leo+ichi) I'm not fluent in japanese so I might b wrong, but just a thought. Leochi sounds similarly short.

then there's also the Usagi's who are complete OCs (w new names) and where do you fit those ships? and idk, I guess I just wanted to think abt this YuiNardo ship name more in-depth, just to think abt it , a bit for fun, bc I really do think it's a fun name but also make a new umbrella term, so maybe people would find it easier to tag stuff! but I usually don't interact with other fans in larger fandoms and ship fandoms like this so idk, this could easily be more confusing x3

Anyway, I think as fandoms and shipping go, it would be more fun to have multiple tags for different experiences, +these are different ships/versions of the characters so it feels like it would make sense. Just my fandom experience from previous years + for organizing/better finding + I feel like shipping should be fun, cuz in the end, this is just based from the og TMNT and Usagi creators being friends and making smth fun with these characters!

TL;DR - YuiNardo sounds like a funny/fun leosagi ship name for this younger iteration of the Rise!Leo-Yuichi Usagi friendship/relationship, and I wanna use it as the ship name going forward bc ships should b about fun and creativity, right? anyway, u can also use it if u want to! no pressure, just sorta putting it out there. - Aghht out!

Addendum(1.03.23): apparently, the Katanashipping tag was specifically for the 2003 ship - as well as the og Leosagi tag, bc that Leo x Miyamoto Usagi started it all. That makes sense! Sorry that I mis-tagged it originally! I did not know until finding the tags on tumblr and going thru them to the start of the tag - bc I'd been keeping away from the tmnt fandom for a long time after the 12 show + never saw it during the 03 show's run bc I wasn't online as much + social media didn't exist in the way it does now. I think everyone used Leosagi for that bc it made sense. I'll keep the tags for this post specifically in the hopes that more ppl will find it then and it'll give food-for-thought about this. Katanashipping of course doesn't make as much sense for the newer ship bc the shows have not had crossovers + while both characters seem like they are a bit obsessed w swords in different teen boy ways (preferring swords bc they are big and flashy), they are not as centered about the swords or swordsmanship as much as the 03 characters.

I know it seemed more like Leosagi was a catchall for all the Leo x Usagi ships, but now it makes more sense that it's not bc it's made searching for content harder. I like the "younger version" but i like the og too bc that's what I shipped as a teen (when the 03 show characters all just looked like Really Old Teens to me). I suppose that's just how the internet's sorta become - there'd shorter memory abt stuff, but fandoms especially as folks move on from shows they like and some of the history of fandom becomes lost. I've been on social media for so long now, I totally forgot how specific ship names could get. I guess that's why I suggested YuiNardo for the "new" version - it sounds unique. If ppl already shipped Rise Leo with their own versions of a younger Miyamoto Usagi and original Usagis, the "youngest" ship with Yuichi x Rise Leo needed it's own tag and that became Leochi/Leoichi (and w the earlier Rise Leo x Usagi ships, everyone must have used the Leosagi tag then too? Further investigation must be made about this...) now this Yuichi Usagi x Rise Leo version seems unique bc Yuichi is basically a canon fancharacter in a sense, as a descendant he is like a homage. But I like the character and I see that a lot of ppl continue to make their own versions or borrow elements of the Y!Usagi from SRTUC... but this means that almost all versions of Usagi depicted by fans are ALL fanon versions... and that's fine, I like how creative fans can get! But also that means we almost never see thr "full" show version of Yuichi Usagi in fanart (altho fanfic is a different matter, if only slightly). But that makes me a bit sad bc I think this version deserves to exist in our fanon and headcanons too, y'know? I guess my flaw in all this is that I actually lile SRTUC and its own og depiction of Y!Usagi bc he is a fun character for me while not many other ppl seem to like him. Like with so many other rare shows I like where fanon is louder than canon 😂

So, yeah Yui x Nardo. cute ship. if only there was more of it ^^; But a lot of the fanworks are still really interesting in their own rights. I think I'll keep using Yuinardo for the show versions and then Leochi for any other fans' versions. That makes sense, right?

Anyway, non-serious discussion over! Just some silly fan-stuff to mull over during school breaks and other free time.

[rottentiger-art]

tag people you would like to get to know better

Thank you @gigantomachy1916 and @litterateur97 for the tag!! It's crazy how much we have in common lol

1. Three Ships

Ooof, I got so many, I'm gonna put the three I'm currently obsessed with (bc I'm not sure I could choose just three as favorite)

Vegebul, my beloved, my OTP, the light in my life, the best anime couple imo

Trumai (yes, both versions), the successor of Vegebul, they have me in a hold just as strong as them, it's such a weird but fun pairing, I adore them

Hurrem x Suleiman (look at themmmmm) everytime suleyman spoke his poems to hurrem I melted, no ship has ever have such romantic quotes. Plus, i use a lot of their scenes for royal aus, it's just gold

I know you said three but I gotta give an honorable mention to Lawmane, who's ever present in my mind, even if I dont post about them as often as before. They would've been THE couple if only Misa hadnt fallen for that gay republican

2. First Ever Ship

I think it was either Sparrabeth or Quogan, I'm not too sure (Quogan was the first ship I've read a fanfic of tho). I'm still obsessed with both, maybe more than when I was younger. I remember wanting Spareabeth to be endgame and to know more of Quogan's life after the show's end, but now it's a NEED

3. Last Song

Funeral by Mon Laferte. It's an amazing song, it speaks of being in a loveless/passionless relationship and wondering how it got that way and wanting nothing more than for it to finally reach its end. My favorite part goes something like this: "While I prepare breakfast I feel so terribly alone, suddenly I want to die, I want to run away from you. I wish I was on the ocean, letting the waves carry me away, I want to stop breathing; dont wake me up, I want to keep dreaming about our funeral" not a perfect translation, but you get the point. The narrator feels so helpless and is so desperate to find a way put an end to that relationship, other part of the song reflects her regret on how they both let the relationship die and wishes she could go back in time and prevent it, but nonetheless their love has died and they're both wasting their time by still being together.

I listen to it a lot when I need to think an angst AU or something lol. But the singer is so good and shows such emotions through her voice, it makes me relate, even tho I've never been on that situation (thankfully)

If you want to get into Hispanic music, I definitely recommend Mon Laferte, she's one of my favorite artist, "Se me va a quemar el corazón" is another amazing song of hers that I recommend.

4. Last Movie

The Menu (2022)

Amazing movie, it was fun and light to watch and not to be taken too seriously + it has my gf Anya Taylor-Joy (ORGULLO ARGENTINO), I took a peek at its tag on ao3 out of curiosity and I'm embarrassed to say who I'm shipping now, but if you know me, you can probably guess

5. Currently Reading

Nothing new, I've re read my favorite books, The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry and Chronicle of a Death Foretold by GGM. The little prince was the first book ive ever read, I always heard it's a book you should read as a kid and then later as an adult, and my God, it's true, it's a completely different experience. 6 yo me thought it was a fun book about a man hallucinating in the desert, 24 yo me cred like a baby full of longing for a childhood I didn't appreciate and grief of the kid in me that inevitably died as I grew up and became an adult.

I never tire of reading CoaDF, everytime I expect the end to be different even tho the very beginning tells you what's gonna happen.

I dont have much time, so I choose those too bc they're a short read. However, I'm gonna start to reread asoiaf books too, bc I can never get enough of them

6. Currently Watching

Like I said, I have no time, so I stick to Sitcoms I can put on the bg while I work. I'm currently rewatching The Nanny, I forgot how much I loved it. And I swear, I'll start dressing as Fran as soon as I have time to buy new clothes, her style is just, mwah chef's kiss, obsessed.

And omg, I forgot how slow the burn in this show was, its Season 5 and they're still not dating!!!! Immabout to throw gasoline at them!!!!!

7. Currently Consuming

I ordered some Pizza, it should be here any moment, I'm sure you can guess why

8. Currently Craving

TIME PLEASE, I NEED TIME TO BREATH, I HADNT DRAW ANYTHING IN SO LONG AND ITS AFFECTING ME SO MUCH

I also need to finish my fic and socialize more. So I crave time, I need a vacation.

9. Tagging

@tomwise @emcads @littlewomenpodcast @mslilylashes ❤ anyone that wants to do it, feel free to!

[likelylarks]

stealing my beloved sam’s @honeybadgerstan tags from one of the daniel enchanté posts from the past couple of days and running with it (this took me so long to write which i’m pretty sure drabbles aren’t supposed to do but oh well)

takes place in the 2022 portion of both “all the while you were stood here waiting” and “home is wherever you are tonight” - i guess more the latter bc this is max pov lol

max knocked twice in quick succession before opening the door without waiting for an answer. “daniel! do you want these in the fridge or do you want some now?” he called out as soon as he entered the apartment. out of habit, he quickly hooked the door closed behind him with his foot, despite there not being two furry little bodies darting for the opening.

max headed straight to daniel’s kitchen - regardless of daniel’s answer, he wouldn’t want all the orange slices in the tupperware right then. max scratched idly at a sticky spot on the side of the container. he licked his thumb and then rubbed at the spot, trying to get rid of the orange juice residue. max looked up from the fruit in his hands and stopped in his tracks.

there, on daniel’s counter, was a bowl of oranges. granted, there were lemons and maybe a couple of peaches but max’s focus wasn’t on them. the tupperware in his hands felt like it weighed a million kilos. why would daniel, after all these years, suddenly have bought himself oranges?

max felt daniel come up behind him, “max, i said could i have a couple of - max? what’s wrong, babe?”

max woodenly opened the tupperware in his hands before holding it up to daniel. “you have oranges.” max couldn’t pretend he didn’t sound resentful of fruit.

daniel grabbed two slices from the container, pinching them between his long fingers. his hoodie was a green color that max hadn’t seen before.

“um, yeah, i just did a merch shoot and somehow i was the one that came home with the fruit we used. apparently no one wanted the stuff i’d been juggling with.” max looked over his shoulder at daniel, who had a sheepish expression on his face as he popped an orange slice into his mouth.

“they let you juggle?” max raised his eyebrows, smirking.

daniel pouted at max. “i get to have fun with my merch, max. they just sent me preliminary footage if you need proof.”

max gave a noncommittal hum and clicked the lid back into place on the tupperware. he walked over to the fridge and slid the container in on the left side. he turned back around to face daniel. the hoodie daniel was wearing had two yellow flowers on the chest and said “enchanté café.” daniel looked adorably cozy in it. “show me?”

daniel smiled, sweet and soft. “sure, you can help me decide what’s good enough to keep and what i should tell them to delete forever.”

max walked around the island and knocked daniel’s shoulder as he passed him into the living room. “i’m sure there’s nothing that bad.” he probably sounded way too fond.

daniel followed max to the couch, sinking down next to him. max slowly shifted his thigh to press all the way against daniel’s as daniel reached for his laptop. daniel pulled up the footage and max leaned in closer to daniel, eventually resting his head on daniel’s shoulder, to see it better.

as daniel scrolled through the photos and clips, max mostly just hummed in agreement with whatever comment daniel made. daniel had always had a better eye for this kind of stuff anyway. daniel scrolled to a video of him laying on his back with lemon slices over his eyes, “oh that one hurt like a bitch!”

max snorted, “why did you put lemons on your eyes?”

“it seemed like a good idea at the time!” daniel whined.

“well, you should definitely include that picture so everyone knows how stupid you are sometimes,” max teased. he pressed his shoulder into daniel’s, as he reached to click to the next picture.

daniel exhaled sharply through his nose, “with the way this season is going, people don’t need me putting lemons on my eyes to think that.”

max lifted his head and turned to look at daniel. he looked tired. “it will get better, or it won’t and then you’ll go somewhere better and then it will.” daniel closed his eyes before turning to face max. when daniel opened his eyes, he and max were nose to nose. max leaned forward and bumped his nose against daniel’s. “trust me.”

daniel’s exhaled “okay” smelled like oranges.

they finished looking through the preliminaries, with max making sure to say that he thought daniel’s juggling was very good.

(“even when i dropped it in the pool?”

“yeah, it was very cute.”

“maxy, you’re gonna make me blush.”)

max was on his way out the door when he glanced back into the kitchen, seeing the oranges once more. he steeled himself and turned to face daniel, “it was just because of the shoot, right? not because you ran out or because i didn’t - “

daniel’s face was soft, “max, babe, it was just because of the shoot, i promise. you’ve been keeping me in just the right amount of oranges.”

max felt a blush crawl up his cheeks. “good.”

it was only after max had been home for three hours that he realized daniel had called him “babe” twice.

-

a month later when daniel’s new enchanté merch finally dropped, max bought all seven of the sweatshirts and both t-shirts, picturing daniel’s soft sweet smile, and remembering how cozy daniel had looked in all of the pictures.