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#<xos i do use that tag on my blog
lolliepops-rox · 2 years
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Nickie 🤝 Normal
Me headcanoning they change their last name to one a different family member
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sleepsacked · 3 months
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for eternity, c.s.
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+ college student!choi san x college student!afab!reader
+ part: 3/3 (this is all the previous parts put into one revised and extended part, so this CAN be read as a standalone!)
+ word count: 19.9k (english isn’t my only language so this is 90% edited to the best of my ability, i am so sorry for grammatical errors x)
+ tags: 18+, minors/ageless blogs dni! tags are below the cut, it’s a lot lol
+ summary: classic story of experienced reader corrupting innocent boyfriend who managed to end up together after being partnered up for a class project and explore their filthy fantasies together.
+ a/n: guys... i know. it's been two years since i uploaded on this story and trust me when i say there has not been a moment where i did not think about sitting down and uploading on here especially because i still get notifications of people re-blogging and liking the previous parts. with that being said, i revised the previous parts and fixed up my grammar and added bits of more plot to each along with adding what would have been stand-alone third part had i not decided to add all three/three and a half? (1, 2, 2.5, 3) parts together. 
please show this some love if you can, and feel free to leave me any suggestions on who you wanna see me write for next...  thank you all again for your extreme patience x
© sleepsacked 2024 / wanna buy me a coffee? xo
+ tags: semi-story building/plot, light humor, college au, virgin!san, experienced!reader, (tried to make it as gender neutral as possible), rest of atz making occasional appearance but mostly reader x san, clumsy/nerd!san, dry humping, grinding, panty stuffing? cum stuffing? hand.. grinding?, filthy makeouts, usage of pet names (babe/baby/love/sweet boy/pretty girl) a lot, teasing, sniffing..(?), vibrating dildo, body worship, hair pulling, cum play, size kink?kinda?, slight dom!reader x sub!san dynamic, slight serivce top san too lol, maybe dom san for a split second, nipple play, bed??humping??, cunnilingus, masturbation (m), panty usage(m) it'll make sense when you read lol, panty kink, begging, squirting, creampies yay, perv!san, slight corruption kink, imagination/dirty fantasy/sexuality exploration??, dirty talk, tongue play(?), whiny san yay, slight body image insecurity, slight relationship insecurity on san's part, reader is canonically on birth control ok, kinda fluffy, kinda realistic, reader and san have good communication okay, if i forgot anything lmk x
-
You and San had met in your graphics design class at the beginning of your third year of university, which was a class that had nothing to do with your major and was just some random filler class that fit into your schedule for some elective credits. 
Although he had sat on the other side of the room, he had surely made a solid impression on you. When you’d see him stroll into class, you never failed to notice how his broad shoulders expanded as he fixed his bag from falling down his arm, or how his slim waist was accentuated by whatever pair of sweats he decided to wear that day. You also never failed to notice his slight resemblance between a fox and a cat, he was definitely mesmerizing to say the least.
It wasn’t until your professor assigned a partner project; and as if fate couldn’t have been anymore real- the two of you were paired together.
You had noticed that he hadn’t spoken much in class throughout the semester, listening intently to the professor’s lectures (or just really good at pretending), and occasionally getting up to use the bathroom. Because of these facts alone, you concluded that he was more on the reserved side of society and opted out for keeping to himself; finding a quiet peace in marching to the beat of his own drum… far from most of the guys you typically sought after.
You were familiar with guys like those who were in alpha tau zeta or beta sigma tau; the ones who were easy to bring to bed but awful to bring home to your parents.
“Hey, I’m Y/N. Looks like we’re partnered together,” you laughed lightly.
“San,” he lowered his head in a quick nod, gathering his backpack to place on the floor and scooted his chair to the side to welcome you. As you sat down, you stole a quick glance in his direction before situating yourself to move your focus to the professor and the instructions for the project that was about to take course over the next couple of weeks.
-
“Alright, well if there’s no more questions, you guys are free to go for the day. And again, please don’t wait ‘til the last minute to begin your projects. Make sure you and your partner are on the same page. Have a good weekend everyone,” your professor waved. As the class began to file out, you looked back at San, noticing how slow he was at making his way out.
“Are-”
“I-”
“You go ahead first,” you laughed lightly, taking note of San’s avoidance of eye contact and the light blush that began to creep up on his neck. He clutched his backpack tighter before letting out a sigh and finally meeting your eyes.
“I was just going to ask when you wanted to begin working on our project… I’m free on the weekends and I don’t have any classes on Fridays either,” his voice trailed off, his eyes averting to the wall behind you and then back to you again.
Oh, he is going to be the death of you.
You hummed. “Yeah, weekends work for me. No classes on Friday either so we can start tomorrow? You live on campus?”
“Yeah, I live in the Arts Hall,” San nodded.
“Really?” Your eyebrows raised, “I do too. Here. Lemme get your number and I’ll text you later and we can figure out a time to meet up! I have a meeting to go to that starts in 10 and it’s on the other side of campus,” you began to pull out your phone, opening up the keypad and handing it to San.
“Oh? Oh, yeah, okay, just text me whenever. I didn’t mean to hold you up,” he fumbled his words as his hand grazed yours after taking your phone from you. He typed his number and handed your phone back to you, you smiled as you took a quick glance at his contact name.
“san :3”
Cute, you thought to yourself as you gathered your belongings and got up from your seat.
“Don’t worry about it, I’m excited to start working on our project. See you around, San,” you looked at him one last time as you waved goodbye, walking out the door to head to your meeting.
-
You hadn’t texted San yet, but that didn’t mean you hadn’t been thinking about him the whole day. You were curious to know more about him, his shyness, how you never noticed that he lived in the same dorm hall as you. You figured it really wouldn’t be too difficult to talk to San and your curiosity was eating at you more than you liked to admit (it was definitely the raging hunger).
It was already past dinner, your meeting lasting longer then you had expected. You debated taking an Uber to that one pizza restaurant you’d been meaning to try out or to just head back to your dorm and make a bowl of ramen. 
With San still on your mind as you decided on dinner plans, you realized you weren’t someone who was keen on taking the lead or being a more assertive person in a situation like this, so when you found yourself open San’s contact profile in your phone and hitting the call button, you were quite surprised.
As you were about to hang up after the first few rings you heard a faint greeting on the other end of the line.
“Hello? Who is this?”
“Hi, I’m so sorry to be calling you right now… it’s Y/N-”
“Y/N? Oh, hi… hi… are you alright?”
Your chest squeezed at his sudden concern.
“Yes! Yes, I’m okay. Seriously, I’m sorry for calling so suddenly. I just got out of my meeting-”
“This late?”
“I know right… I just got out and I was about to head to this new pizza restaurant downtown and was wondering if you wanted to come with me. I know it’s a bit… weird considering we haven’t spoken to each other before today. But I figured we could talk about our project and set up a schedule to work on it or something? If you’re not busy right now, of course.”
You rambled, suddenly regretting even calling San in the first place and realizing that it was a bit awkward to invite San out to eat on a whim like this considering the circumstances.
 There was a long pause.
“Actually, it’s okay if you can’t! I know it’s super late, and I called outta nowhere-”
“I’m down. Where are you at right now?”
“Passing the library actually...”
“That’s good, I’m on the 4th floor of the tech center, I’ll meet you at those benches in front of the library, yeah?”
“Uh… yeah, yeah, I’ll wait right here.”
San hummed, before hanging up and leaving you with your own thoughts as you walked back towards the benches and sat down, waiting patiently.
-
“How’s the practice for the showcase coming along?” 
“Could be better, we’re still working on the chorus but can’t seem to mix the vocals right and it’s been pissing us off.”
“I’m sure it’s fine, you guys are perfectionists.”
“Well, of course we are Wooyoung! I’m sure you feel the same when you choreograph, right?”
“Okay, Yunho, that’s not even a good example.”
“What? It totally is! You can’t dance if the music is shit, so we have to make sure our music isn’t shit!”
“Mingi, shouldn’t you be worrying about, I don’t know, other shit?”
San laughed to himself, his fingers grazing across the keyboard as he finished typing up some discussion answers for one of his coding classes, doing his best to tune out most of the chatter that was happening amongst his friends.
His phone buzzed against the tabletop, his screen lighting up with an unknown number. His friends stayed enthralled in their conversation, paying him no mind as he answered his phone hastily.
“Hello? Who is this?”
“Hi, I’m so sorry to be calling you right now… it’s Y/N-”
Wooyoung was the first to notice that San was on the phone, not even because he was necessarily trying to pay attention but he was about to ask if San wanted to join the rest of them heading to the cafeteria to grab a quick bite before it closed for the night.
“Hey guys, shh, shh,” Wooyoung whispered as he smacked Yunho’s arm. Yunho and Mingi’s voices died down as their attention fixed on San.
“That’s good, I’m on the 4th floor of the tech center, I’ll meet you at those benches in front of the library, yeah?” San finished with a hum before hanging up the phone, feeling three sets of eyes on him.
“So who was that?” Wooyoung’s lips fell into a coy smile, a tilt to his voice as he felt himself get giddy.
“Hm?”
“Don’t tell me…” Yunho’s hand slapped Wooyoung’s shoulder before giving it a hard grip, staring at San in disbelief. Mingi was the next to chime in, as if he felt the cue to get in on the joke.
“Finally, my man San, you shooting shots?”
San’s eyes closed, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose before letting out a soft sigh.
“It was one of my classmates, Y/N, she’s my partner for this project in my graphics design class. She called asking to grab dinner and talk about what direction we wanna go, nothing crazy,” San began gathering his belongings and stuffing as much as he could in his bag in one go before getting up and slinging his bag over his shoulder.
“Woah, woah, woah, kinda sounds like she’s interested, no?” Yunho wiggled his brows. San immediately shook his in disagreement, feeling the tips of his ears get hot.
“San, I mean this in like, the most loving way possible, but you almost never know when someone is interested in you and… well,” Wooyoung cleared his throat before continuing, “I think it kinda has to do with the fact that… you know… you’re a little bit of a late bloomer.” Wooyoung cupped his hands around his lips as he whispered the last couple of words in San’s direction.
“Alright!” San’s voice cracked, “On that note, I will see you guys tomorrow!”
“Be safe! Use protection!”
“To manhood!”
“Yeah! What they said!”
San continued to make way out of the building, not looking back at his friends as his face continued to heat up. The comments definitely made him nervous, he didn't think you were interested in him… right? You guys barely had a full conversation and only started talking this afternoon in class despite having been together the last month and a half in the same classroom. Was this how dating was like? Was this how people pursued each other? Was it not like best friends falling in love after years of knowing each other? I mean sure, yeah plenty of couples met in different ways, he was pretty familiar with romcoms and-
No! Focus! This is just about class, the project, getting familiar enough to get a good grade and moving forward to the next semester, no time for dating or romance, and certainly no time for sex.
San wasn’t too sure what happened next but suddenly he was lying on his back at the bottom of the stairwell, his bag barely cushioning his fall and hearing a faint yell of his name outside through the glass doors. Faint pattering against the concrete outside could be heard before the glass door swung open.
“San! Oh my god? Are you okay?” You kneeled next to him, awaiting his response.
All San could manage was a groan before he turned over on his side and slowly got up from the ground, reaching for his bag in the process. This definitely couldn’t be more embarrassing- actually, no, knowing him and his luck, it definitely could be more embarrassing in due time.
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“You sure? What even happened?”
“Um, actually, I don’t know…” his voice trailed off as he dusted off his clothing.
“What?” You laughed.
“Sorry, I mean, I think I was just lost in my head about something and must’ve missed a step.”
“Ah… lost in your head about anything in particular?” You moved to walk towards the door, reaching for the handle and letting San walk through first, his clumsy state a bit unpredictable for properly meeting up with each other.
“Thanks,” San quietly said as he walked through the glass doors and into the crisp, fall scenery that was draped prettily over the campus grounds. The trees began to lose their leaves and the colors that their foliage left painted on the ground was always the prettiest picture that San never got tired of. 
“And no. Just regular thoughts roaming around in there, I guess.” You both continued to stroll down the path that led to the student parking lot, the soft crunch of leaves creating a comforting ambiance.
“Makes sense.” You paused under one of the light posts, the sun setting enough that the lights emitted a soft glow that accentuated all different types of contours on each of your faces.
“I can order the Uber, by the way. I wasn’t sure when you’d head down or what you wanted to do or anything but I can order it, I don’t think it’ll take long to get here,” You began mumbling as you reached for your phone in your sweater.
“Uber? We can just take my truck, no?”
“You have a truck?”
“Nothing fancy, trust me, it's an ‘06 model,” San laughed, wondering why it was so surprising he owned a truck. He motioned for you to follow as he continued the path down to the parking lot, you followed behind. 
“But a truck?”
“What? A guy can’t own a truck?”
“No, it’s not that- I just mean, you don’t really seem like the truck kinda guy.”
San shrugged, “Gets me from place to place, plus she’s still kicking.”
San led the way to his truck that was parked conveniently in front of the entrance of the tech center.
“No way this truck has crank up windows,” You said in disbelief as you hopped in. “I haven’t seen these in like years, like years, San.”
He threw his head back as he laughed, giving you a shrug as you guys drove off with mindless chatter being shared amongst the both of you.
-
And that was how your relationship with San began; working as partners for a project (which you both aced) that soon led to hanging out at every free moment either of you had. Countless spontaneous dates throughout the course of those next few weeks of you inviting him out to eat dinner with you at that pizza joint. It wasn’t very much longer until San had finally asked you to be his romantic partner.
You were made aware of San’s inexperience, both in dating and intimacy, and honestly, it wasn’t something that was entirely concerning to you. You had a feeling that maybe his experience wasn’t… all there, and you were content with moving at a gradual pace, his pace. Quite truthfully, your pride and ego was well-fed knowing that you’d be the only one to share these experiences with your boyfriend for the first time.
Today, however, you had noticed a shift in San’s attitude and he was more clingy than normal; sticking to your side like glue whenever you went anywhere within your student living apartment. It started off with not wanting to let you get out of bed to use the restroom, clinging onto your waist tighter as you tried wiggling your way out of his arms and nuzzling his head in your neck with a low whine. Your head fell back against the mattress, letting out a sigh.
“Baby, what’s wrong, hm,” you stopped to look down at him as best as you could given your current state. You weren’t annoyed, by all means, but something was definitely bothering San and you were maybe just a little hurt that he was acting differently like this as a way to let you know. You wiggled around again, snaking your arm around his back and combing your fingers through the short hairs that were at the nape of his neck. 
San nuzzled his head deeper into the crook of your neck, the feeling of his eyelashes fluttering against your sensitive skin giving you goosebumps.
“Nothing’s wrong… just- I don’t know. Just wanna be around you, s’all.” Sans lips grazed ever so lightly as he spoke against your skin.
You hummed in faux agreement, “Okay, whatever you say. Lemme get up and go pee, then I can make us something to eat and we can put on that one show you were telling me about the other day, yeah?”
San squeezed his arms around you tightly one last time, before he rolled over and laid against the bed, a pout forming on his lips.
“Fine, that sound’s good.”
-
You were bent over, looking in the fridge and wondering what the hell you were going to cook up. The groceries didn’t look promising, probably because there was a lack thereof, and it was enough to have you close the fridge and look for something in the pantry.
Suddenly, muscular arms wrapped around your body, one around your waist and the other around your upper chest. Light kisses were peppered and pressed against your shoulder and the back of your neck.
“Baby, can’t we just order delivery? I miss you and want you back in bed,” San voiced through his tiny ministrations on your neck. You couldn’t help but giggle at your boyfriend’s clinginess, this level of clinginess being a new side of him you had yet to see. However, you still tried your best to keep your composure, but his broad chest felt so warm against your back that you couldn’t help but indulge in his affection.
“You sure you're okay? You’re not running a fever? Or a concussion?” You tried to turn your head to face him, but his kisses were too distracting on your body and San always had a way of making you feel like he was worshiping you. His arms squeezed you tighter, pulling your ass to meet his crotch. He gave a little thrust and you felt his hard-on press into the clothed crevice of your ass. San gave you one last kiss before he rested his chin on your shoulder and looked at you with hooded eyes.
“Yes, love, I’m okay. I just miss you, “ San leaned forward, pressing your noses together before pushing his hips up into you again, his eyes fluttering softly before he looked back at you.
“So this is why you’re being like this, huh?” A small smile formed on your lips, quickly leaning in to peck San before pulling away. “You want me to help you out?” San turned his gaze away from you, the tips of his ears becoming hot and red, which you found more than endearing.
“Whatever you wanna do right now, I’m okay with, San. Just do whatever you think might feel good for you, okay?” You spoke softly, somewhat anticipating if your boyfriend was going to make any type of move. The farthest you had gotten with San was the occasional heavy make-out sessions with occasional groping- but he never reached to touch you where you wanted him most.
San released you from his grip, not speaking as he turned you around and gently grabbed your wrist. You looked at him, waiting to see if he was going to give any response but instead, he dragged you to the bedroom, leading you to stand at the edge of the bed before walking back to the door and quietly shutting it.
He turned back to look at you, his face and ears flushed before slowly walking towards you and standing in front of you sheepishly.
“You said I can do whatever I think feels good…?” San fidgeted with his fingers, pulling the inside of his cheeks between his teeth. You grabbed his hands, gently rubbing your thumb across the top.
“Whatever you want, baby. However you want, too… however you wanna use me, I trust you,” you brought one his hands to your lips, pressing gentle kisses before opening his palm and pressing your cheek against him. You heard him gulp as you briefly glanced down and noticed the tent in his sweatpants begging for some friction, alongside the faintest spot of pre-cum forming.
“May you bend over the bed?” He spoke softly as he looked at you, eyes glossed over with lust.
You smiled and nodded, lifting your head from his palm. Before you began to turn around to bend over the edge of the bed, you stood on your tip-toes, kissing the round little tip of San’s nose before you quietly cooed at him.
“Only because you asked me so kindly,” you placed a light kiss on his lips. You caught the way his nose scrunched as he fought back a smile. He knew you loved how well-mannered he was.
You turned around and bent over the edge of the bed, your clothed-ass on display for San. You weren’t sure what he had in mind as you laid in this position, but before you could ponder too long you felt cool hands push your shirt up a little so your waist was now exposed to the cold air and before San. You could feel your lover’s body heat behind you as he began to position himself closer to you. Soft massages kneaded their way into your hips and you couldn’t help but rest your forehead on your arm as you tried your best to look back and get a good view of San.
From your peripheral, you could see how timid he was. He stared down at your ass, lip between his teeth and stepping just right to get the angle he wanted behind you. The grip of his massages became harder before his hands stilled and you felt him roll his hips into your ass.
The pressure of his heavy, clothed-cock pressing into your ass had your mouth running dry. It had been awhile since you had sex, of course respecting San’s choices into wanting to take it slow (which you also had wanted to as well, thinking that the wait would most definitely be worth it). For some reason though, the idea of not going all the way right now felt far more intimate than the act itself and that familiar feeling of warmth rushing to your core was making your body become hot and bothered quick, insanely quick.
San hadn’t moved, just resting his weight against you, hips pressed firmly into your ass. His breaths were deep and slightly heavy as you did your best at turning your body to get a better view of him; trying to take in the way his cheeks were flushed and how his mouth was red and puffy from how hard he was biting it. He couldn’t seem to take his eyes off the way his straining cock met the curves of your ass perfectly. 
“You’re doing good, baby. Just do whatever you think feels good,” You pushed your hips back against him, hearing him let out a sigh. “You know I'll be good for you, San.”
San let out a loud whine, running his hands up your back and raising your shirt in the process before lightly scratching his nails back down and hooking his fingers into your waistband.
“Y/N, can I- is it- is it okay if I take off your pants?” San rolled his hips against your ass again and you could tell he was trying to have some self-restraint, as if not to come too soon.
“Yes, please, fuck,” you groaned. San slowly rolled your pants down over the curve of your ass, pushing himself off you just enough to get them down your legs and helping you get them completely off before kicking them away from the bed.
“My underwear-“
“I know just- just let me,” San re-positioned himself behind you and when you turned your head to glance behind you, you noticed that San had also taken off his bottoms, only leaving him in his briefs and his sleep shirt which was mostly unbuttoned, leaving the expanse of his chest exposed enough to see the pink flush.
You turned back to rest your forehead against your arm, anticipating the feeling of San's heavy (and now more thinly layered) cock against your ass. 
You felt the bed dip on the side of your head, you turned to see San’s hand gripping the duvet as his other hand found contact with your hip again. He rolled his hips into you and as he did so you felt your underwear shift up and put tension on your clit. San soon fell into a steady pace of grinding his hips against your ass, occasionally leaning down to place kisses on your shoulder and suck and nip at the back of your neck.
“Y/N, baby, you feel so good like this,” San nipped at your ear, letting out a soft moan when he looked down at where the swells of your ass slightly jiggled every time he rolled his hips.
“Yeah? Feels good?” You turned your head to look at him as best as you could, almost all his body weight was on you as he began to rut his hips against your ass. You pouted your lips at him, silently pleading for the feeling of his lips on yours. He leaned down and indulged in you, lazily moving his lips against yours. In the midst of kissing, you caught his tongue with your lips and began sucking lightly. You felt San’s hips stutter and he moaned loudly with his tongue still trapped between your lips. San suddenly pulled away, his hair matted against his forehead, shirt ruffled and lips puffy. There were traces of drool going down his chin and the idea of kissing him until he became a wet, whiny mess had your mind reeling. 
“Something wrong?” You looked up at San, glancing down at the now more noticeable wet spot on his briefs, a mixture of your desire and his.
“Nothing, it’s just if I come, I wanna look at you. Flip over for me,” San placed his hands on your hips, “please,” shooting you a cheeky smile that had you giggling.
Once you flipped over, San positioned himself to where one of his legs was nestled between your thighs and pressed deliciously against your core. His head found purchase in your neck, attaching his lips and leaving love bites everywhere he could.
“You know, I've been trying not to come fast this whole time,” San breathed into your neck. “I’m just wondering how good it’s gonna be when we actually fuck,” he lifted his head to take a good look at you. 
He hadn’t realized how fucked out you actually were and it was a mental image he wanted to keep stored in his head for as long as he could. This time you were the one getting shy, the idea of San fucking you right now, eager and clumsy, was too tempting. Your panties were sticky and truthfully it was starting to get a bit uncomfortable, but San had moved his attention back to your neck, softly rutting against your hip bone which had his thigh rubbing against your clit. You involuntarily rolled your hips against his thigh, letting out a feathery moan.
San’s head snapped up from your neck, looking down at you with furrowed brows as he pressed his thigh harder into your clothed-heat. Your eyes squeezed shut as you let out another moan, head turning to the opposite side from San in embarrassment.
“San-“
“I want you to do what feels good too,” his hand grabbed your chin, gently pulling your face to look back in his direction again. His stare was too much, his eyes averting from yours to your lips and back to yours before he moved one finger to the tip of your mouth.
As if on instinct, you opened and welcomed his index finger, gently sucking and rolling your tongue around the length while doing your best to maintain eye contact.
San's eyes were solely focused on how your lips were so perfectly wrapped around his finger as the rest of his hand maintained a semi-hard grip on either side of your cheeks.
“Fuck, I can’t do this baby, I wanna come on you. Please, can I come on you?” San’s voice quivered as his eyes made their way back up to yours. With your mouth still occupied, you nodded, moaning around his finger as a means of saying yes.
He took his finger from your mouth, gently wiping it on the hem of his shirt before reaching for his shirt collar and swiftly removing it from his body and throwing it at the foot of the bed.
“It was starting to get too hot for that. You feeling okay?” San spoke, throwing a quick glance at you before he shuffled around on the bed and placed his hands on your knees to spread your legs to make room for him. 
“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” You shifted, moving your legs around so he could slot himself between you. It took you a minute to realize that San was more bare than you, something that rarely happened. San wasn’t shy or insecure about his body, at least you didn’t seem to get that impression. You knew he took good care of himself and his physique, working out as often as he could in between study sessions or dance practices. Yet, you had come to the conclusion that maybe he just wasn’t as comfortable being shirtless in a lounge setting than you had initially thought.
“Maybe, but you didn’t answer me. How are you feeling?” San laid more of his body weight on you and instinctively you brought your hands up to feel the soft flesh of his chest.
“Feeling like I'm gonna overheat in this thick ass shirt but I also don’t wanna take it off.”
His gaze softened, placing pecks across your face. He started with your forehead, leading to your left cheek and then your right. As your eyes fluttered shut, he gently placed kisses on top of your eyelids, following down your nose to your chin and then ending at your lips.
“You’re beautiful, baby. And I'll tell you a hundred times a day- no! a hundred times an hour if i have too.”
“Can I wear your shirt?” You smiled sheepishly.
His eyebrow twitched before he began to frantically nod his head, scrambling across the sheets to bring it up to you. You sat up enough to slip your shirt off and quickly replace it with San’s with ease. Thankfully, San wore pajama sets so the shirt was thin enough to not overwhelm you. San reached up to your chest, unbuttoning a few buttons on his sleep shirt that revealed just the right amount of cleavage for him to mess with.
Once settled back on top of you, he shifted his weight so that his cock laid right between your folds. the wet stains on both of your underwear making the fabric feel much thinner.
“Fuck, Y/N,” San placed one last kiss before looking down between where your bodies met, rolling his hips with purpose against your clit. The friction of the wet fabric and the pressure of the tip of his cock rubbing deliciously against your sensitive bud made you feel like you were going insane and soon enough you found yourself rolling your hips with his.
“San, baby, you’re doing so good for me, you know that,” you moaned, wrapping a hand in his hair and gently tugging. He groaned, this time pulling back far enough to slam his hips against yours.
You moaned as your back arched slightly off the bed- you weren’t sure what had come over San, but his energy had changed so much that you had forgotten he was inexperienced.
“I'm so good for you, huh?” San said through clenched teeth, rolling his hips harder and faster. This new found discovery of San enjoying praise did something for you, making your mind reel of all the intimate endeavors that would take place in the near future.
“So good you’re gonna let me come on you? Let me come all over your panties and stuff it back up in that little pussy of yours?” He was looking at you now, bottom lip glossed with saliva from sucking it between his teeth.
“Shit,” you raised your legs higher as you spread them out more, “are you sure you’ve never done this, San? I didn't know you could be so mouthy.”
San hooked one of your legs under his arm as he shifted to get a better angle to rub his cock between you.
“You’re the one and only, baby,” he laughed, “Didn’t know I had it in me either.”
You laughed, before wrapping an arm behind his neck and pulling him down towards you for a kiss. This one was by far the messiest kiss you had ever shared with San. As he rutted against you, his lips moved against yours sloppily. Thin trails of spit formed around your mouths as you sucked and licked against each other's tongues- San pulled away just enough to speak.
“Fuckfuckfuck,” his thrusts against your clit became rougher, the fabric of your underwear rubbing against you hard. You wrapped one leg around his waist, putting pressure on his lower back and pulling him closer to your body.
“I think I’m gonna come, Y/N, oh, oh fuck-“ you looked up at San, fingers still wrapped in his hair. his brows furrowed together, mouth falling into a small, cute ‘o’ shape, feeling his hips began to stutter.
“I know, baby, go ahead,” you moved your hips against his, “you did so good. Go ahead and give it to me.” 
That seemed to set San over the edge, a high-pitched whine coming from his lips and you soon felt a warm liquid fall on top of your mound. You looked down to see San still coming, hot-spurts making their way through his briefs, the mental image of him coming inside and milking him dry making your mind reel. You moaned, bringing your hand up to his cheeks and pulling him forward in a lazy kiss.
You felt San’s hand make its way to the top of your waist band as he pulled away from you and looked down.
“I wasn’t joking about stuffing you with this Y/N,” San wiped at some of his come from your underwear with his middle finger before bringing it lower to your clothed-entrance. He prodded at the wet fabric, rubbing his come at where your hole was clenching eagerly to feel some type of release. You felt him push lightly against you, rubbing in circles his come-covered finger before applying more pressure. He quickly swiped up more before going back to your entrance and pushing his fingers inside you as best he could with your underwear still creating a barrier between the two of you. Your head fell back against the sheets and your hips moved lightly against his finger.
“San,” you moaned as a hand reached down to his wrist, holding it steady as your hips moved with more fervor. You felt his hand pull back as he shifted down to be face first with your pussy. Just as you were about to pout at the loss of contact, a harder pressure was applied. You glimpsed down through hooded eyes, taking your lip between your teeth as you saw San looking back up at you to gauge your reaction. 
This time his palm was pressed against you, cupping gently and moving up and down slightly as if he were giving you a massage.
“Grind against me, y/n,” San spoke softly, turning his head and pressing soft kisses against the inside of your thigh. He pressed his palm harder against your clothed-heat, turning his attention back to you. Your hips moved on their own accord, the fabric continuing to pull and rub against your clit. Breathy moans filled the room and San used his free hand to rub gently into your thighs and waist, occasionally reaching up to your chest and grabbing roughly through your (his) shirt.
You felt his hand pull away again, only to be quickly met with a light slap, a jolt rushing through your body as you let out a gasp. Your hand reached for the duvet, twisting lightly in your palm as you craved for that feeling again.
“Harder, please, harder,” your eyes squeezed shut as you moved your hips closer to San’s face, your way of asking for some release. The knot in your stomach began to coil tighter, waiting to be pushed over the edge. San dug the heel of his hand against your clit, moving softly as you moved your hips at your own desired and eager pace.
“Oh- oh fuck, baby, I’m gonna cum,” your hand made way to find grip in San’s disheveled hair, grabbing at the base of his locks and tugging with just enough force. In the haze of pleasure, you could make a distinction of moans that weren’t your own and you had just enough time to look down in between your legs to see San with his eyes shut and eyebrows furrowed and he let out a whine. His hand pressed harder against your clit one last time before the tension in your stomach snapped and your hips stuttered against his palm.
San moaned with you, keeping his hand pressed against you as you rode out your orgasm.
“That's it, want you to give it all to me,” he turned his head against your thighs again, placing small kisses and bites along the expanse of the fleshy skin. The lingering feelings of your orgasm soon finished and you’d fallen into a comfortable daze, loosening your grip in San’s hair and softly running your fingers through it instead. Your eyes began to flutter, forgetting about the stickiness in your panties. You snapped to your senses when you felt San move forward, still between your thighs and closer to your clothed crotch. 
He inhaled where you felt the wetness of both yours and his release was mixed together, letting out a low moan before he moved back up the bed so he was directly above you.
“You are such a perv for doing that, by the way,” you laughed as you ran your hands across his chest, taking note of the flush that was creeping up his neck.
“Hey,” he whined, leaning down to nuzzle into your neck. “You said I could do whatever I thought felt right,” you could hear and feel the pout in his voice.
“I didn't say I minded you being a little perv-y, if I wasn’t so sleepy right now I might try getting off again,” your arms wrapped around his back, nails lightly scratching up and down as you felt more of his body weigh against you.
“Is that so?” San spoke softly as his lips sucked love bites into your neck.
“It is,” you moved your head to the side, allowing more room for him to kiss and suck at your neck. “You know you sound cute when you’re all whiny, San.”
“Babe,” his voice dragged out as he rolled off you, embarrassed. Your laugh rang throughout the room as you turned to your side and reached out for San before he could make it too far out of reach.
“You know I'm teasing you, baby. Now can we clean up real quick before I pass out over here?” you placed a quick kiss on San’s lips before you began to get up from the bed, the stickiness between your legs becoming too unbearable.
San followed behind you quickly, grabbing your waist and pulling you in his arms.
“Thank you,” he whispered against your hair as he hugged you a little more tightly. You smiled against his chest as you wrapped your arms around his waist, this man was definitely going to be the death of you.
-
It hadn’t been very long since your previous intimate interaction with San, and you had noticed that he was much more keen on expanding and expressing his sexual interests with you. He was more clingy, and confident, and was constantly finding ways to express his sweet affections towards you, especially in the confines of your shared apartment.
He asked questions constantly about your own sexual interests, which you found both cute and endearing as most times (all the time) he’d stutter and get all flustered at the thought of even saying such crude things aloud so casually.
So today, when he asked you about your own self-pleasure experiences, you weren’t entirely caught off guard.
You both laid in the living room, sprawled on the couch, your head in his lap as his fingers softly scratched against your scalp. He was focused on something on his phone as you felt your eyes get heavier with the comfort of having your hair played with, the noise from the television being the right amount of white noise to allow you to doze off peacefully. San set his phone down on the arm rest, leaning forward slightly to get a glimpse of you.
“Babe, you still up?” San spoke softly, removing his hand from your head and bringing it to caress your cheek. You hummed, snuggling your head into his lap to get more comfortable.
“Hm… yeah, I’m up,” you muttered, your eyes finally blinking slowly before you shut them completely. You felt him lean back against the couch, hand still resting on your cheek, his thumb slowly running back and forth.
“Well if you’re up, like up up- awake up, then I have a question. Hm… something I’m curious about.” San spoke slowly, as if he was thinking of the right way to word his sentences so as to not come across a certain way. You nodded, having enough sense to know that your boyfriend wanted to talk to you seriously, forcing your eyes open as much as the sleepiness would allow.
“I’m up, I'm up… what is it, hm?” A silence followed as you waited for San to speak, you shifted in his lap so you were looking up right at him. his eyes focused on the television, but in a way that was zoned out and not actually paying attention to the content that was displayed on the screen.
“San?” your attention on him completely now, taking note of the way his eyebrows were furrowed together as his hand had slipped from your cheek amidst your shifting and was now lying comfortably across your neck. Hearing your voice snapped him out of his little daydream as he looked down out at you, the tips of his ears catching a blush.
“Oh, yeah. Um… I was just curious about- like- how do I say- uh,” his voice trailed off as he averted his attention back to the television. You waited expectantly, having an idea where this conversation might be leading to.
“Go on,” you spoke softly.
“Have you ever… touched yourself?” San whispered, as if speaking too loudly would get him scolded by the gods above. You couldn’t help but laugh, getting up from his lap and sitting up again on the couch to face him. Sleep was no longer something on your mind as your boyfriend never failed to catch your attention in conversations like this. He pouted, avoiding your eyesight and fidgeting with his fingers in his lap.
“Sorry baby, I don't mean to laugh. You’re just too cute when you get like this,” you leaned forward to place a quick kiss on his cheek before you leaned back and answered him properly.
“Yes, I have touched myself before. Who’s asking?” you teased.
San shot you a quick glance before facing forward again, shifting to sit up straighter. He cleared his throat before speaking once again.
“With a toy? Have you- uh- ever touched yourself with a toy?” His cheeks flushed as he moved his hands higher in his lap, crossing his legs. Your eyebrows raised, a slight smile forming on your face. You scooted closer to him, laying your head on his shoulder as you wrapped your arms around his bicep.
“Yes and no. I had like... one of those little bullet vibrators a long ass time ago that Heejin got me as a joke but ended up throwing that shit away ‘cause… well… it was a bullet vibrator,” you laughed, leaning your head further into his space.
“After that, it crossed my mind to maybe get actual toys. Like a vibrating dildo or a butt plug or something but it’s hard finding good sites that sell that shit discreetly and adult shops are just so… I feel too awkward,” your voice trailed, looking up to see San looking back down at you, waiting for you to finish your thoughts.
“You know how you see those videos of coffee shop baristas and they’re like ‘what your coffee order says about you’ or ‘what you look like based on your coffee order’ and it's a bunch of stereotypes that are lowkey kinda true? Yeah, I feel like that’s what would happen if I went to a sex shop. I mean, I think my kinks are pretty tame compared to extremists- at least I think they are- but… still it’s just so awkward,” you physically cringed. 
San nodded, laughing lightly at the comparison you gave between coffee shops and sex shops. You reached up to place your hand on his cheek and turned him to face you. 
“Are you asking me because you wanna get one?” You smiled mischievously.
“Well, you see, I was asking ‘cause, you know-“ San fumbled his words.
“We can if you want… I don't really mind. Is that what you were looking at on your phone?”
San nodded, reaching for his phone again, and stealing a quick glance at you before unlocking it and leaning into you so you both had a clear view of his screen.
The next hour was spent between looking at options before deciding on a generic vibrating dildo, deciding that you could upgrade later if need be. The estimated delivery time was said to be a week, so to your surprise at checking the mail room downstairs three days later with a package, was exciting to say the least.
On the way back to your room, you pulled your phone out, opening your chat with San.
y/n: bb look!
y/n: 1 file attachment
y/n: it just came in the mail... ;-)
y/n: tbh i'm surprised it got here so fast?? then again it says it came from that one town we drove thru on the way to my parents so ig it wasn’t that far??
-
“Hold on guys, gimme one sec,” San panted, breaking away from his friends and their current dance session.
“Aw shit, Mr. loverboy over here gotta answer to his girl,” Yunho teased, nudging Wooyoung as they both laughed amongst themselves.
San shot them both a teasing glare before picking up his phone and opening your messages. As he was getting ready to hit send, another message from you was delivered and soon after a photo attachment.
y/n: 1 file attachment
y/n: san omg
y/n: why does this thing look huge
y/n: its kinda cute tho good job picking it out
y/n: baby hurry up and get home plsplsplsplpslspsl need u nowww
“Whatcha looking at?” Wooyoung chirped, swinging his arm around San's shoulders and leaning towards his phone. Before San could push Wooyoung away, he was already opening his mouth.
“Damn! Is that a dildo? Since when did you get all freaky on us, man? Coulda sworn you were still a virgin!” Wooyoung grabbed his phone, clicking on the image you sent. Your hand was delicately wrapped around the base of the dildo, which was an opaque purple shade (color choice courtesy of San). Your hands did the toy no justice, because you were right- it did in fact look huge.
“Ay man, gimme my phone,” San said in his most assertive voice he could muster, not even bothering to panic or make frantic moves at Wooyoung- knowing how his friend was. It didn't help that his cheeks were tinted with a light blush and he could feel his cock stirring in his sweats at the thought of you begging for him to come home so you guys could get play around. 
“Hey, what happened?” Yunho came up to San and Wooyoung, looking between the two men. San’s phone pinged again with another message from you and Wooyoung took a quick glance, smirking, before handing the phone back to San.
“Well, our Sannie boy here seems to have gotten a bit mischievous these days, Yunho. I think we should wrap up practice early today, let him get back home to his girl,” Wooyoung said as he looked back at a confused Yunho.
San looked down at his phone quickly, wondering what could’ve possibly gotten Wooyoung to say such a response.
y/n: 1 file attachment
y/n: can’t wait to play w my sweet boy <3
The picture was of you already in bed, one of San’s shirts with some cute but simple black lace panties. Your knees were bent and the dildo was laying between your thighs as if to make it appear like you were wearing a strap-on.
San's eyes went wide, his ears feeling hot, and his stomach flipping knowing that one of his friends was well-aware about the kind of activities you and him were planning on having tonight.
“Oh yeah? I was actually planning on cutting practice early anyways. Mingi texted me asking if I could stop by the studio for some feedback on some of his and Joong’s songs for that showcase in a couple weeks,” Yunho eyed San carefully, who was staring at his phone screen intently. Wooyoung laughed as he caught Yunho's confused expression towards San.
“Alright, well I'm out then! I'll catch y’all later! I gotta meet up with Jongho and Yeosang for one of  our CompSci classes,” Wooyoung headed for the door, grabbing his jacket and bag from the rack. “Oh and San, one more thing,” Wooyoung turned around, waiting for San to look up at him and properly acknowledge him. San's attention averted to Wooyoung, waiting for him to speak.
“Don’t do anything I wouldn't do... and trust me, there’s not a lot out there I wouldn't,” he shot San a wink before slipping out the door.
“That guy, man,” Yunho laughed, shaking his head.
“Well, I'm gonna head out? Just text in the group chat when you wanna meet up again, you know when I'm free. Or let Seonghwa know,” San spoke quietly, his mind still reeling on the fact that you were home alone right now, horny, waiting for him. 
The feeling of his cock being constrained tightly against the band of his boxers turned into an aching sensation- god, he just wanted to be with you already.
“Yeah, I'll text you later,” the two men nodded at each other. San made his way to the door, and just before he had the chance to exit, Yunho called out to him.
“Ya!” 
San turned around, looking expectantly at Yunho.
“Don’t do anything I wouldn't do.” Yunho smiled, waving San off.
“Shut up, Yunho.” San laughed, giving him the middle finger and shaking his head.
And with that, San slipped out of the practice room, making his way to his car.
-
You were laid in bed, scrolling mindlessly between social media outlets, distracting yourself enough as you waited for San to get home from dance practice. 
[new notifications]
my bb: on my way home now, my love
my bb: ur kinda insane btw
my bb: sending pictures like that while im out
my bb: the guys ended practice early, had some other stuff they needed to do
my bb: ill be home in 5
You smiled reading the messages, excited to see your boyfriend after you’d both been busy with classes and any other extracurricular activities you guys were involved in, but even more so knowing that you were going to be able to try out your new toy.
When San had arrived home, you were sprawled out on your stomach, a blanket draped over your lower half, the dildo and your phone momentarily forgotten. The faint sound of music flooded the room, your eyes closed as you quietly sang along.
San was true to his word because 5 minutes later he was entering your room, jacket and shoes already off, pulling his shirt over his head and discarding it to the chair tucked under your desk. The bed dipped as you felt a hand lay across your back, opening your eyes to welcome San laying down next to you, shirtless, in the bottoms he wore to practice and sweaty hair.
“Hi,” you spoke softly, shifting to face San as a hand reached up to cup his cheek. Your thumb ran along the skin, his eyes fluttering at your soft touch. 
“How was your practice, hm?”
“It was fine. Probably one of our better ones in a while so I’m kinda pissed it ended earlier than I expected, but I'm home now so I’m not complaining.” He finished his thought with a kiss to the tip of your nose as his hand was rubbing up and down along your back.
“Well, I'm glad your home ‘cause that means I get to take all your attention.”
“Hm, so where is it? Where’s the- uh, you know…”
You smiled at San getting flustered over his words, leaning back to feel around the bed before you finally lifted the blanket to reveal the cute little toy. You reached for it, putting it between you and San as you looked back at him expectantly.
“Right here! Isn’t it cute?” 
You rotated the toy in your hands, there wasn’t much to admire apart from the color and thickness and the handle with the buttons at the bottom. San’s cheeks were flushed as his hands traveled to your waist, gripping firmly.
“Yeah.. yeah it is,” he nervously laughed. “Did you... already put batteries in it?”
“Mhm, but I haven’t tested it out yet. I was waiting for you to get home.” 
You pressed the tip of the toy into San’s pectoral, slightly shifting your hand around to press the power button at one of the lower settings, a faint buzzing echoing in your ears. San began to breathe heavier, his grip on your waist loosening as his eyes screwed shut.
“What… what are you doing?” San sighed, eyes opening slightly as he looked down at you.
“Do you trust me?” your hand stilled.
San nodded. 
“Wanna hear you say it, baby. Do you trust me?”
“Yes, fuck, I trust you. I trust you so much, please." San's eyes screwed shut again. He didn’t know what he was begging for, he just wanted something. Since he’d left the studio, he’d been fighting down his boner the whole ride home, wanting to wait for you to play with him. It felt as though every bone in him was going to snap if he didn’t get some form of release, and fast.
You used your free hand to lightly push him on his back, soon adjusting yourself to swing your leg over his waist. You leaned forward, pressing a light kiss against his lips before you rested your forehead against his.
You had nudged your nose against his softly, a butterfly kiss.
“Then lemme take care of you, sweet boy.” 
San let out a low moan, bucking his hips against you. You leaned back, pressing your weight against his cock, his chest heaving up and down quickly, arms tense at his sides. You let out a breathy laugh at his nervous reaction, suddenly feeling your own chest tighten with nerves. This was really happening, huh?
“Just relax, baby. I got you, okay?” You ran the toy that was still vibrating slightly down the middle of his chest, stopping right above his naval. 
“If you don’t like something, promise you’ll tell me, yeah?”
“Yes, yes, Y/N I’ll tell you, just- just please-” you looked below where your crotch was on top of San. He still had his practice sweats on, his cock straining so hard in the confinement.
“Is it okay if I take these off you?” 
You switched the vibrator off before tossing it to the side, getting up to stand at San’s feet which were hanging off the end of the bed. A quick yes was enough confirmation to slide his sweats off, once off your hand reached to his briefs, stopping just as your fingers hooked on either side of the band. 
“These too?” 
Another quick yes from San allowed him to be laying completely naked in front of you. His cock sprung, slapping against his naval, red and leaking with pre-cum- begging for some friction.
You crawled back up the bed, hands resting on either side of San’s head. You reached to his forehead to brush the hair that was beginning to curtain his eyes, feeling the sweat that was starting to form at his hairline. You leaned down, pressing your lips to the spot between his eyebrows and leaving a trail of kisses down to his cheeks and jawline before making a final round to his lips. His arms wrapped around your back, pulling you flush against his chest as his tongue slipped in your mouth.
You both stayed like that for god knows how long, lazily making out and groping one another, enjoying each other’s presence to the fullest. San pulled away from you, looking up at you with swollen, wet lips and flushed cheeks.
“Baby, I love kissing you so much, you know that, but my dick is so hard right now that I feel like I'm about to pass out,” he whispered, his hands pushing your shirt up and then making their way down to the swell of your ass.
You laughed, lifting yourself off of him to sit yourself in his lap but he stopped you before you could get yourself comfortable and situated.
“Wait! Wait... um- can you- would you mind taking these off?” San asked sheepishly, fingers hooking ever so lightly in the waistband. 
You felt yourself clench around nothing, you and San hadn’t been naked in front of each other like this. Not in such a lewd position at least, so the thought had your mind and body raging with nerves and excitement. You moved quickly to rid your panties from your legs, your essence following along and smearing on the inside of your thighs. San's eyes followed your movements and in the corner of your eye, you caught a glimpse of his dick twitching against his stomach. 
You climbed back on the bed, legs on either side of San’s hips, lowering yourself so the underside of San's cock was wedged between your pussy.
“Fuck,” San whined, hands finding purchasing on your waist again and making their way under the front of your shirt to grope at your bra-less chest. 
You were embarrassed at how turned on you were, but before you even had enough time to register that, your hips moved along San’s length. Your slick made your movements easier, stopping yourself just enough that your clit teased against the head of his cock. You felt San’s index finger flick against your hardened nipple, your hips stuttering as you let out a breathy moan.
“Baby, you’re gonna be the death of me you know that?” You moaned again as San brought his thumb up to pinch your nipple. “So cute, so good for me. Always treat me so good, fuck, got such a pretty cock too.” 
You reached to your side, grabbing the dildo and turning it on low. San's eyes followed your movement, you pressed the tip of the toy to slit San's cock. His body jolted under you, his mouth fell lax as his stomach tensed. Your free hand scratched lightly at his stomach, your other pressed the toy harder against the slit of his cock as you began to softly grind your clit along his length.
“Oh- oh my god- fuck,” San’s body shook as he let out a string of profanities. “It feels too good, y/n. I think I'm gonna come- fuckfuckfuck.”
“Go ahead, baby. You deserve it, go ahead and make a mess.” 
You moved your hips against his length faster, loving the way his stomach and thighs were flexing underneath you.
“I’m coming, oh fuck, oh-” San’s arms flew over his face as he let out a long whine. 
Hot, milky spurts painted his stomach and chest beautifully, a little bit shooting up underneath his chin and along his neck. you slowed your hips, taking in how fucked out your boyfriend looked like this.
You turned off the toy, setting it down next to you as you reached up to San, removing his arms from his face. His eyes were barely open, his whole face flushed as his bangs were matted against his forehead.
“Hey, you okay?” You whispered softly, planting a soft kiss to his lips. San hummed in confirmation, a soft smile forming on his face. 
“Good, lemme clean you up real quick.” You leaned back, swiping your finger at some of the mess on San's stomach and bringing it to your lips. To your surprise, San’s cock twitched ever so slightly, still red and half-hard.
You got up to grab the towel from your desk chair, walking back and softly wiping at San’s stomach, chest, and neck. Once finished, you settled in bed next to him, laying on your side.
“You didn’t come?” 
You shook your head no as your hand reached up to play with his hair.
“But don’t worry about it. Tonight was about you, okay?” 
San pouted, and in a blink of an eye he was hovering over you. both of his hands planted on either side of your head, his half-hard cock weighing down against your mound.
“Lemme take care of you... I wanna play with you too.” 
He sat back on his heels, his hands moving to your knees and spreading your legs apart so your pussy was on full display. Your breath hitched as you saw him reach for the toy, his hands twisting it around to maneuver the buttons on. The buzzing sound filled the room again and soon you felt a pressure against your clit.
Moaning, you looked down where San’s hand lay between your legs holding the toy. He was unsure what to do, it was clear on his face. You reached down to wrap your hand around his wrist.
“Here. Like this.” 
You moved the toy along your folds; San shifted on the bed so he was now laying on his stomach, his face adjacent from your pussy, teeth between his lips as he watched intently how you moved his hand around to pleasure yourself.
He turned the setting up a notch with his free hand, before moving it to grab underneath your thigh and placing it over his shoulder.
“Is it okay if I put- hm... put it in?” He asked, placing a quick kiss on your thigh before he turned his attention back to your fluttering hole.
“Yes, please baby, please put it in.”
You moaned as his hand moved the toy just right and the tip of the toy prodded at your entrance. The grip San had on your thigh tightened as the toy pushed its way in slowly. 
You couldn’t see, too enthralled in your own pleasure, but San’s hips had begun to rut against the bed. He’d been imagining his own cock in place of the toy, easing into you, stretching you out, making you shake, maybe even cry with how good it all fucking felt. He was eager to make you climax, so he continued to push the toy into you, giving the bed beneath him a particularly hard thrust as well.
Your walls fluttered against the toy, it’d been awhile since you’d felt so full. You’d touched yourself before but the width and length of your fingers was far different compared to how the toy felt inside you. Even far more different when it was your lover who was fucking you with it.
Your hand slid up your shirt, grabbing at your breasts as the other went to pull at San’s hair.
“Feels so full.” You moaned, your hips moving at the same rhythm of San’s hand. 
“Wish it was your cock making me feel good, want it. Want it so bad, baby.” 
You were close, so fucking close. 
San began to push the toy deeper in you all while kissing and biting at your thigh.
“Fuck- faster.” 
The grip on San’s hair tightened. The tension you felt in your belly ready to snap at any given moment.
“Like that?” San whispered, his hand pushing the toy in and out of you.
“Yes- don’t stop. please, please baby don’t fucking stop. I’m gonna come-” You squirmed along the bed, trying to move your hips along with the perfect rhythm that San had created. 
You felt him press your hips down to still you, his head moving forward as you felt his lips place a feathery kiss to your clit before giving it a harsh suck. You finally snapped.
“Oh fuck I’m coming- fuck! I’m coming.” You whined as your legs tried closing in around San to snap shut.
San didn’t let up on the sucking, still holding the toy deep inside you trying to make the most of your orgasm. He moaned against your clit, releasing from you with a faint pop and leaning his head against your thigh.
You looked down at him as he pulled to toy out from you, his eyes admiring how wet you’d made it. As if his curiosity got the best of him, he brought the toy to his mouth and wrapped his lips around the tip. His eyes met yours as his cheeks hollowed out, pushing the toy further in before pulling out and licking his lips clean. He made his way back up to you, putting all his body weight on you and nuzzling his face into your neck, letting out a sigh of content.
“You taste good, babe, wanna eat you out next time,” San whispered in your ear, his tongue playfully licking at your earlobe.
“I don’t know how you do it.” 
San lifted his head from your neck and peppered kisses all over your cheek.
“Do what?” He pushed himself off you, grabbing the towel you had used on him earlier and pushing your legs apart so he could gently wipe you clean. You used as much strength as you had left to bring yourself up to rest on your elbows, eyeing him.
“Drive me crazy, that’s what.” You laughed as your eyes trailed down to where San was laying earlier.
“Hey what’s that?” You pointed at the rather large spot on the comforter, San looked to where you were pointing, his eyes going wide.
“Holy shit… no fucking way.” Your jaw dropped in disbelief. “You came again? On the bed?”
“Well... yeah…” San mumbled, tossing the towel to the pile of discarded clothes.
You laughed, crawling your way across the bed to meet your boyfriend, arms wrapping around his neck as his naturally fell around your hips.
“You’re a naughty thing, you know that? Are you sure you’re a virgin?” You teased, no real malice or doubt in your voice. 
You leaned forward to kiss the tip of his nose, catching the way his lips curved into a small smile. 
“How ‘bout we run a shower and we can worry about the sheets later, hm?” San nodded at your suggestion, lowering himself to grab the back of your thighs before lifting you up. 
Your legs wrapped around his waist as he began walking to the bathroom. 
“Hey,” you spoke softly. He stopped in his tracks, moving his head to face you, waiting attentively.
“Just wanted to say I love you,” you kissed him, feeling him smile against your lips, the feeling never getting old. He pulled away from you, resting his forehead against yours.
“I love you more, pretty girl.”
-
The last time you and San had messed around was a lot farther than you both had gotten with each other, and the more that you guys explored and experimented with each other’s bodies, the more both of you found yourselves constantly looking for ways to feed each other affection.
San was aware of your sexual experience and at times when he was too lost in his head, he’d often feel insecure and wonder if the other people you’d been with were better- in any aspect really.
However, you constantly reassured him otherwise and for that he was more than thankful. Which led him to his current predicament.
You weren’t at the apartment, having had to run some errands for the day and San insisted on making time to hang out. He’d woken up too late that you’d already left to go do the things you needed to get done, so you suggested he just wait at home until you finished. Ever so quick to please, he found himself doing random chores around the place to keep himself occupied.
Today was laundry day, he dumped the basket of clothes on the bed that you had taken forever to fold (one of his little pet peeves but, still, he didn’t mind picking up the slack every now and then because he knew how busy you got.)
He hadn’t realized that the current load to switch from the laundry was your delicates (he zoned out quite a lot when he was left to his own devices), and for whatever reason he was feeling himself become more and more embarrassed as the seconds passed.
It was just panties, he didn’t know why he’d felt so shy about it. He’d seen you in your panties plenty of times, even if you were just lounging around in them. You were his partner, there was really no need to get all worked up, right?
No, there definitely was. He felt like a pervert feeling himself warm up at the thought of messing around with your intimate pieces of clothing without you here. But that feeling didn’t stop him from doing what he was about to do next. 
He kicked his shoes off, making his way to your bed and laying amongst your sheets. Flipping over on his stomach, he buried his face in your pillow letting out a soft sigh. It smelled like you, sweet and safe, mixed with the stench of clean linens. He laid like that a little longer, the feeling of sleep trying to grasp him and almost winning. It wasn't until he shifted around to lay on his back that he noticed the tent forming in between his legs.
“Jesus…” he muttered to himself, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He was definitely more in love with you then he’d thought. You were always so understanding… so willing to let him explore his sexuality comfortably. but also so independent and level-headed, you just had so many qualities to you that he absolutely loved and made him feel loved and maybe that’s why just the thought of you drove him mad and never failed to awaken something deep inside of him. His heart swelled up each time you crossed his mind and for that he knew he was truly deep in some shit. 
For fuck’s sake- he was getting hard just being in your most intimate spaces- without you even here next to him!
He closed his eyes, hands fisting the sheets lightly. He didn’t want to get off right now, at least not until you got back or something. But the idea of also getting off in your bed, while you weren’t there next to him was also kind of exciting. He laid still for a few minutes, mentally giving himself a time frame to see if his erection would go away and if it softened- then that was that; if it didn’t… well he’d cross that bridge when he got there.
And much to his surprise, it didn’t soften. Getting up from your bed, he paced around your room. He was really contemplating the idea of getting off, wondering if he should text you and ask; you know- for the sake of being polite. But that idea sounded stupid and truthfully, he couldn’t bring himself to ask, not wanting to face any judgment you might have (little to his knowledge, you found it hot that San had his little perv-y moments- but you weren’t going to tell him that). 
Amongst his pacing, his hip bumped into one of your dresser drawers that had been left slightly open amidst your morning routine.
“Ah- fuck!” San grabbed his hip, rubbing harshly to soothe the pain. He looked down at the drawer he bumped into, noticing a mixture of patterns of lace and cotton intertwining with each other. His curiosity never failed to get the best of him, he reached for the drawer, hooking his fingers around the edge and pulling it open, bracing himself.
He’d already known what to expect when he opened the drawer quite truthfully, but god did he still feel a little shameful when he felt his cock twitch in his sweats looking at your panties that laid messily folded in the drawer below him.
He reached for the contents hesitantly, his eyes catching on a pair he remembered you wearing for one of your date nights. It was a black lace piece, the pattern soft and elegant like you, he thought to himself, with a tiny little pink rose placed atop a bow. that night you’d worn them, you and San were leaving a restaurant when your shoelaces had come undone- and ever the gentleman, San had offered to tie it for you. Insisting that he didn’t want you to bend down and worry about your skirt riding up or you flashing anyone, and maybe he’d taken a quick look up your skirt when you weren’t looking (you definitely noticed) but that was a story for another day.
Once he grabbed the panties, he noticed that the lace was a lot smoother in his hands than he thought, he wondered if you’d ever bought lingerie for him- or for your other past partners. He shook the thought from his head, not wanting to think about you being with other people right now- past or not.
His mind wandered as he remembered the first time you laid in front of him, in his shirt and panties, his hot come laying on your mound as you looked completely fucked out. San’s grip tightened around your panties as he debated this dilemma internally.
“Fuck it,” he muttered to himself as he closed the drawer with his other hand and made his way to your bed. He moved around, so that his body was half sitting up and half laying down against your sheets. If he was going to do this, he wanted to at least be comfortable.
 His cock was throbbing and it was starting to be painful, that familiar wet patch seeping its way through his underwear and sweats as if welcoming him for indulging in his sinful desires.
He bunched his shirt to his chest and pulled his bottoms down to just above his knees; his cock slapping against his naval, red and shiny.
He let out a soft moan at the contact, mind turning to mush as the smell of your sheets was making him feel so… safe. He gripped himself at the base, bringing his other hand that had your panties to his nose. his hand flinched, his thoughts making him second guess himself one last time before he inhaled deeply, tightening his grip around his cock.
“Fuck,” he whined, inhaling your panties one last time before bringing it to the tip of his cock and slowly wrapping the fabric around himself. The feeling of the lace was different and for a split second his mind entertained the idea of what it’d be like to wear them while he got himself off to the thought of you, but he was too desperate now- the thought leaving his mind just as fast as it had entered his head. 
He palmed the head of his cock, the lace rubbing against his slit, while his other hand tugged at his balls.
He felt dirty, filthy… utterly sinful. But he didn’t care as he kept stroking himself as he remembered the blissful look of you coming hard on that toy you’d both picked out. The hand that was tugging himself found his way up his stomach, lightly raking his nails against the skin before sliding under his shirt and stopping at his hardened nipple.
“Baby, please,” he whined softly. It was useless to beg, you weren’t there of course but he couldn’t help himself. He pictured himself between your legs again, this time having you ride his face. Using him however you wanted, his tongue prodding against your hole as he sucked and sucked and sucked against your clit. 
He flicked his nipple before giving it a quick pinch, his hips jerking off the bed against his panty-covered hand. He moved his hand free from his chest, bringing it down to his cock so both of his hands were wrapped around his shaft. Your panties covered his tip completely as he began to rut his hips upwards, both hands moving along with his hips.
He was close, so fucking close and it was all happening to quick.
“Fuck,” San groaned, “fuckfuckfuck,” his hips moved faster as his imagination kept going on and on with different scenarios of how he wanted to ravish you. Images of him fucking you in every position you could imagine, ran through his head. 
But the one that sent him over the edge was you on top, riding him dangerously slow, playing with your tits. In his head, you’d reached down and grabbed his chin, asking him so sweetly to look at you and open his mouth- and he did. you’d lean over him, letting go of his chin before making him stick his tongue out and grabbing the tip of it with your fingers and holding it firmly, leaning down and whispering obscene things to him- about him.
How he was so good for you, letting you fuck him dumb and never even imagining that he’d let you take control of him like this.
“Oh my fucking god I’m gonna come, please, oh my god,” San whined. “Wanna be good for you, so fucking good baby, please, feels so fucking good.” 
His hips stuttered as his eyes closed shut, a deep moan coming from his chest. He opened his eyes enough to look down, he felt like he couldn’t stop coming, his come seeping through your panties and sliding down his fisted hands.
For his own, twisted pleasure, he continued to stroke himself. Swiping at some of his come and bringing it to his slit, running his index finger back and forth. His body shivered, he wondered to himself if he could come again- Maybe if he really tried, but he knew as long as you ran through his head, anything was possible.
However, he was snapped out of his post-orgasm daze when his phone began to ring. He searched the bed looking for the sound, finally grabbing his phone and seeing your name flash against the screen. His heart pounded against his chest as he hit the green button.
“Hey, babe, what’s up?” He cleared his throat in hopes of not sounding too… off.
“Hey, was just calling ‘cause you weren’t answering my texts- just wanted to make sure you were good.” 
You mumbled something after that he couldn’t make out, hearing a faint honking noise in the background. 
“Anyways, I'm on my way back to the apartment, but wanted to see if you needed me to stop and get anything? You hungry?”
“No, I'm okay, just drive safe. I miss you.”
You laughed.
“I miss you, too, baby. You okay, though? You sound kinda off?”
“No- yeah, yeah I’m fine! Was just dozing off waiting for you, s’all.”
“Mhm… right.” 
Your voice dragged, not entirely convinced. 
“Okay, well, I’m not that far so I'll see you in a sec. Love you!”
“I love you more,” and with that you both hung up.
San set his phone down, laying his head back against your pillows as he looked up at the ceiling. He felt himself soften in his hands, the lace of the panties laying across more of his lower half. He entertained the thought more adequately this time, wondering what it’d be like to wear something like this, how would he look if you fucked him stupid while he wore-
“What the fuck?” he mumbled to himself, shaking his head as if to rid himself physically from the thought. He got up, looking for something to clean himself with as he tried to figure out where to put your now-stained panties.
Once that was decided, he laid back in your bed. Shuffling under the covers and recapping everything that had happened within the last hour. He shut his eyes briefly and on cue, the door beeped, signaling you had just gotten home.
He laughed to himself both in disbelief and embarrassment, you were really making him question everything. But for some reason, he didn’t mind as long as it was you.
-
It had been a few days after you had run your errands and had come back home to San lying around (quite suspiciously might you add) in your bed.
You didn't want to press him on it, but that didn’t keep you from having your own suspicions. Letting whatever it was that he was hiding, to let it be. Which you figured it couldn't have been that bad to begin with regardless, just that he had maybe been a bit... mischievous.
But it was the thought of him being alone in your room for that long, and knowing him, he intentionally or unintentionally snooped around.
Today was a laundry day though, you had grabbed your hamper and dumped the clothes on your floor so you could separate the delicates and the colors.
Amidst your separating, you noticed the black lace pair you'd worn ages ago, on one of the first dates that you and San had gone on.
You guys were walking back to the car when he had stopped you, letting you know your shoelace had come undone. Just as you were about to bend down and tie your shoe, he stopped you, insisting you shouldn't because you were wearing a skirt and he didn't want you to be uncomfortable. As he fell to his knees, you shifted your legs slightly, moving one foot out so he could tie your shoe easier. In doing so, your skirt raised, allowing your underwear to be seen. San's head turned, taking a quick peek and trying to memorize the lace pattern that was laying across your skin. You definitely noticed, turning your head away and smiling to yourself.
You reached for the pair, wondering to yourself when it was that you had worn them, dropping them once you realized that the pair had faint, white residue. Your eyebrows furrowed as you thought of all possibilities as to why your underwear would have dry cum on them.
Did... San...? You wondered, before thinking of ways in which you should ask him about it, or even if you wanted to. You decided to leave it be for now, ready to be over with your daily chores for the day.
-
[new notifications]
y/n: babe~
y/n: r u ready
y/n: im abt to be there in 5 :] 
San's phone buzzed from his shelf as he finished gathering up the rest of his items for your guy's trip. It was your first trip together, and he wasn't too sure about you, but he was definitely excited because this was finally going to be it. 
You had both talked about finally going all the way together, and San insisted at least creating a little world away from the craziness of your everyday lives so he could fully enjoy you. You thought it was sweet and honestly, he was the only boyfriend you had who was so adamant on constantly trying to create the perfect atmosphere to show his deep love for you, and it made your heart swell every single time.
His phone buzzed again, he glanced down at his watch, seeing a new message from you saying you were here. He walked over to the shelf where his phone was, grabbing it along with his weekend bag and heading out.
You waited patiently in the car, your thumbs tapping against the steering wheel to the rhythm of the music playing in the background. You snapped out of your mindless daze when you felt a knock against the window, you turned your head, meeting San's eyes as he pointed to the back of your car, signaling you to open the trunk.
Moments later he was sliding in the passenger seat next to you, leaning over the console and placing a soft kiss on your cheek.
"Hi baby," he said as he leaned back and hastened his seat belt over his chest, securing it in the buckle.
You smiled, "Hi, how'd you sleep?"
"Good, I think," he reached for your hand as you put the car in drive, listening idly to where the GPS was telling you to go. "Missed you, was excited all night for this trip," he brought your hand up to his lips, pressing a soft kiss.
You hummed, "You're awfully affectionate today, you really missed me that much, huh?"
San let out a light laugh, "I miss you everyday."
A comfortable silence shortly fell between the both of you as you continued to drive.
-
You pulled up to the Airbnb, which San had reserved for the holiday weekend. Calm waves hit the shore, and the sound of birds chirping echoed softly in the distance.
You put the car in park, nudging San slightly to get his attention.
"Look," you nodded your head in front of you. "Isn't it beautiful?"
"Wow," San leaned forward in his seat, his mouth open in awe. "It is... can't believe we get to spend the holiday here."
"C'mon, let's go check it out," you smiled before stepping out of the car.
You made your way to the house, San following behind. You opened the door, taking note of the spacious interior.
You felt San's arms wrap around you, him leaning down and placing soft kisses along your cheek before making his way up to your ear.
"All this space just for us, hm," he poked his tongue out, laying a soft lick against your lobe. "Wanna take you on every. Single. Surface."
You leaned back against him, your eyes fluttering shut at the feeling of him being so close.
"Yeah yeah, you can after we get settled in," you hummed, pushing yourself off him and making your way further into the house. You set your keys on the counter, taking one last look at the Airbnb before turning back to San and making your way to the door. As you were about to pass him, your hands tapped at his chest before pulling him with you.
"C'mon, you nasty boy, let's unload the car," You said, a light laugh from San following shortly after.
-
You stepped out the restroom, your robe hanging carelessly around your body as you tried drying off your hair as best as you could.
"Babe, I still don't know why we can't just shower together," San grumbled from the bed.
"'Cause," you mumbled, making your way to your suitcase. "I still get shy."
You rummaged through your clothes, looking for some undergarments and a lounge shirt. Quickly slipping them on, your eyes caught a peek at that specific pair you brought with you. You turned around to quickly glance at San, seeing that he was sprawled on the bed, shirtless and in sweats. His arms were crossed over his face as he mindlessly sung to himself. You reached down for the pair, finally turning around and tossing them onto San's chest.
His body gently flinched at the contact in surprise, before he moved his arms down and looked at what was laying on his chest. His body froze.
"Y'know I'd been meaning to ask you if those looked familiar," You said as you walked over to the bed, climbing your way up to seat yourself in San's lap. He looked up at you, his ears and face turning flush as he hummed in response.
"I was doing my laundry before the trip and well," You reached for the underwear before dragging it across his stomach. "I like to separate my delicates and colors and such... and I couldn't help but notice those were dirty."
"I also couldn't remember the last time I had worn them, at least recently. Do you know what they were dirty with, San?" 
He looked up at you briefly, his cheeks flushed and eyes full of guilt. Despite that, you felt him growing hard underneath you. you didn't give him a chance to answer before leaning down next to his ear and whispering, "They were dirty with someone's cum, baby... can you believe it?"
He let out a soft groan, his hands reaching for your waist before making their way down to your ass and gently groping you.
"Fine, fine. I'm guilty, you got me." His eyes squeezed shut as he gripped your ass more rough, before rolling his hips up into you.
You gasped, your chest pressing flush against San. "I wasn't expecting you to admit it so fast."
"Yeah, I know. I'm embarrassed, but right now I don't care. Just want you to touch me," His hands removed themselves from your ass before bringing them up to the back of your neck and pulling you into a kiss.
The kiss was slow and lazy, your hands making their way to lay gently on top of San's chest.
"Mm, babe," your voice muffled against San's lips, he hummed, pressing his lips harder and grabbing your ass tighter. You managed to pull away, pressing your forehead against his, opening your eyes slightly to see his eyes still shut.
"San," you whispered, pulling away completely to look down at him from being seated in his lap. You took note of the way his body stayed flush, the light sheen of sweat glistening in the dim light, his pink swollen lips, to the way his sweats were snug around his hard cock. 
"Why don't you..." Your hands slowly moved around his chest, the tips of your fingers grazing his skin like a feather, before stopping at the buds of his nipples. "Why don't you show me how you made a mess on my panties in the first place, huh?" Your fingers moved on their own, lightly pinching the buds between them and giving them a soft tug, testing the waters.
San moaned, his shoulders squirming against the mattress, "S-show you? Yeah, yeah I can do that, j-just lemme- ah," He opened his eyes to look up at you, the glossy look he had during moments like this never failing to make you weak. He lightly tapped your ass, signaling you to get off him, in which you complied. You shuffled along the bed until your back was leaning against the headboard, your shirt scrunched to your waist leaving the top of your thighs exposed. San moved next to you, moving himself around the bed until he managed to squirm his way to lay between your legs, his back pressed against your stomach and his head resting against your shoulder.
"You..." San's hands found their way to lay on the sides of your thighs, gently squeezing. "You said to show you, so I just thought... that maybe this would be... the best view I could give you." San's voice barely above a whisper, his head turning to look up at you. You nodded, looking back at him, leaning in to give him a quick kiss, your legs bending to place your feet on his waistband, doing your best attempt at trying to slide his sweats down.
His hands wrapped your ankles, leaning forward and giving each one a swift kiss before gently placing them on either side of his hips and laying back against you. He shimmied his way out his sweats before kicking them to the edge of the bed, his naked body on full display before you.
"It feels nicer like this," San said, his voice having a gravel edge to it. "When I was in your bed, I didn't have the luxury to be naked like I am now.." his cock looked angry laying against his stomach, beads of pre-cum smearing against the tight skin of his lower stomach. You stared in awe, before looking briefly at San's face, his hair falling into his eyes. You reached a hand to lay in his hair, swiping the hair upwards and running your nails gently back and forth against his scalp. San sighed, his cock jolting against his stomach, his head following the caresses of your hand.
"Y/n... you know," San’s hands clenched repeatedly against his sides before reaching down to wrap around his length. “There was so much that I was thinking about when I was laying in your bed.”
His hands massaged his length slowly, occasionally reaching down to tug at his balls before continuing his ministrations on himself.
You felt the wetness growing between your legs, your eyes skimming every part of his body displayed before you. the sheen of sweat forming at the base of his neck and trailing down the wide expanse of his chest. Your hands moved to his shoulders, gently caressing down his arms.
You hummed waiting for him to continue, shifting your hips as best as you could in your current position.
“You were on top, riding my face, and I was letting you do whatever you wanted to me, it just- ah- felt so good... knowing you were so good- feelin’ so good and-” San let out a loud moan, throwing his head back against your shoulder, eyes screwed shut. his hands tugged harder at his length, his thumb playing at the sensitive slit.
“What else, hm?” Your hands made their way to his nipples, testing the waters again and gently grazing against the hardened buds.
San's body caved in on itself at the sudden contact, rushing to tell you to wait.
“You okay?” You managed to get out, feeling your chest squeeze.
“Sorry, yes yes, I’m okay, it’s just.. if you keep doing that I’ll come too soon.”
"Here, lemme get up." 
San moved forward to let you move from behind him. 
"Lay back." 
His hand released his cock as he shifted around before finally grabbing a pillow and resting it behind his head. You shuffled to sit on top of him, not fully planting all your body weight down. San's breath hitched. Your hands reached for the knot of your robe, slowly untying it to reveal yourself before San and letting it fall down the expanse of your shoulders and back. 
San's eyes focused on every part of you, the way your nipples were perked from being aroused and the slight cool air that was slowly turning hot. The way your soft flesh was flushed, the way your thighs looked caging his frame at his hips. But his eyes really caught focus on the way your pussy was beginning to drip with wetness onto his cock. "Is this okay?" You quietly asked, leaning forward to rest your hands on either side of his head. 
"Perfect, you're perfect. It's perfect. C'mere." San reached around the best he could to pull you down to meet his lips by the back of your neck. His hands resting on either side of your face, thumbs caressing your cheeks as your tongues swirled around each other. You felt yourself relaxing, your chest pressed against his and finally seating yourself on top of his cock. San moaned, his hips bucking up quickly, the tip of his cock briefly rubbing against your bundle of nerves. You pulled away from his lips, meeting his eyes before resting your forehead on his. 
"Did you want to... you know," Your voice trailed off in a whisper. 
"Please, yes. Yes, did you-" 
"We can stay like this if that's okay with you, I really don't mind." 
"That's okay," San gulped. Suddenly feeling his nerves spike. He wasn't worried about anything other than cumming quickly. Which would be as expected, considering his circumstances. But he had some hope that he could last at least enough time to help you reach your climax. Regardless, he trusted you.
You pushed yourself up, suddenly feeling anxious. You reached down to grab at the base San's cock, lining it up with your entrance. You could feel San's eyes staring at where his cock and your pussy were able to meet. He felt heavy in your hands, each throb a reflection of his unwavering desire for you. You lowered yourself on him, your essence making it easier for you to slide down. It had obviously been a while since you had actual sex, and pleasuring yourself did not compare to the feeling of having the man you loved inside you. The tip of his cock had pushed through, you felt yourself clench around the intrusion. You and San let out a moan in unison. 
"Why- Why do I feel like I'm gonna come?" San said in a strained voice as his hands fisted the sheets, stomach tensing beneath you. 
"Just- Wait-" You breathed out, letting all your weight down on San's cock. The feeling of him stuffed fully inside of you made you feel dizzy nonetheless. San let out a long whine, he pushed himself up from the mattress to meet your body, pulling you in a tight hug. 
"I love you so much, so so much. You don't even understand." San grumbled into the crook of your neck, placing kisses along the spot where your ear and neck met. You let out a needy whine, reaching your arms around his back to embrace him as well. You moved your hips as best as you could given the current position, grinding in small circles. San pulled away, one of his hands reaching to grope at your chest. 
He leaned down, kissing along the valley of your chest that led down to your nipple. His mouth closed around the perked bud, his tongue swirling around delicately. You let out a moan, your hands reaching up to take hold of his hair, nails gently scraping against his scalp before gently tugging at the roots.
San's hands reached around you again, his nails softly scratching down against the expanse of your back before finding purchase on your ass. He gripped the flesh with firmness, pulling you down as he tried to buck up into you. The tip of his cock grazed the cervix ever so slightly, causing you to let out a sharp whine. 
"Sannie, baby, do that- do that again." That was the first time San heard you call him that. It triggered something in him, but he couldn't quite explain it. He brought your hips down again as he bucked up into you, leaning forward and clumsily capturing your lips in a kiss. 
His cock twitched inside you, it didn't take much to know that he was close. You were honestly surprised that he had held out this long but then again you two had fooled around before this so how surprising could it really have been. You pulled away from his lips, leaning in for one last peck before moving your hips with more fervor. 
"C'mon baby, I know you're close. It's okay, you can let it out."
If you had to ask San to relive one moment from his life again before he died, he'd think he'd confidently say that it'd be this moment. He actually might be dramatic, it would probably be an entirely different moment, but his mental, his senses, his heart, was so consumed with the thought of you that he was sure that if he died right now, he’d die a happy man.
There was something about the way that you always softly demanded him or guided him during these intimate moments- there was a gentleness mixed with a sternness in your demeanor that drove him insane.
He gave one last buck of his hips, the plushness of your ass jiggling slightly against his hands before he felt the tension that was in his balls release.
San held you close, his head falling on your shoulder and leaning into the crook of your neck. The loud groan being the only thing that you could hear, you felt your body shudder at the feeling of hot ropes of cum painting your gummy walls. You sat there on the bed in each other’s embrace for what felt like an eternity, San was the first to say something.
“Baby.”
You hummed, your hands rubbing up and down his back, your fingertips grazing his skin with the softest caress you could muster.
“Can I eat you out?”
“What?” You pulled away to look San in the eyes, only to find him avoiding your gaze.
“I’m serious, I know you didn’t get to… finish and I don’t really care that you know…”
You shook your head, moving to get off him to lay down. The feeling of his cock instantly slipping out of you having your pussy clench. You were stuffed full of him seed, not realizing how much he’d actually came until it began to dribble down the insides of your thighs.
You settled on your back, eyes shut from shyness.
“Fuck,” You heard San whisper as he turned his body to get a better view at you. His hands grabbed at your knees pushing them forward to your chest.
“Hold them for me.”
“No way…”
“What?”
“I still can’t believe you’re this nasty, San. Are you sure you haven’t been jukin’ me this whole time?” You let out a breathy laugh, your pussy clenching again as San’s hands massaged the back of your thighs before dragging them closer to your pussy.
He laughed with you, his pointer fingers spreading your lips open. You couldn’t help but moan, feeling his seed dribble down. 
“Say you want it,” San said, pausing his movements.
“What?”
“Say you want it- tell me how bad you want it,” San’s eyes stayed focused on the way you kept clenching around nothing.
This was definitely new, San never feigned feeling some type of way about always falling into a more submissive role during your previous intimate times together. You could confidently say this was a type of reassurance he wanted. You felt yourself gulp, eyes screwing shut once again.
“Want it…” You mumbled. Before you even had the chance to repeat yourself louder, you felt a sharp sting on your inner thigh which ignited a surprised yelp from you. You hadn’t expected the palm of his hand to meet so harshly with your skin.
“Sorry I-”
“It’s okay, San. I promise it’s okay- God, please do that again, want it so bad. Want you so fucking bad, please. Just fucking do something.”
San couldn’t understand what he was feeling, seeing your fucked out face, squirming and moaning for him to touch you. It was always him that was left to this role, and don’t get him wrong- he definitely enjoyed it. You made him feel safe and comforted, but prior to this trip when he had wondered about your previous partners and finally losing his virginity to you… he really couldn’t help but wonder how he could make you feel that same safe feeling during sex that you never failed to make him feel.
He wanted you to crave him the same way he craved you.
He quickly maneuvered himself to be eye level with your core and wasted no time in wrapping his lips around you. His tongue poked and prodded at your hole, tasting himself on his lips. He pressed his palms down into your thighs trying to spread you out the best he could as he continued to suck and lick at your most sensitive parts.
“Wait, oh fuck- Don’t stop.” You threw your head back into the mattress, you could feel your clit throbbing as you tried bucking your hips up into San’s mouth.
“Right there, you’re doing so good, baby. Right there- fuck-”
San felt his chest grow in pride, continuing to lick and prod at your clit. His tongue swirled around the overstimulated bud, he could feel your legs switching between relaxed and tensed. He pressed his tongue flat against your core, letting you grind against his face. He was determined to make you cum without his fingers.
“Oh my god- I’m gonna- Shit, I’m coming baby, I’m coming, ooh my god,” You let out a long whine, trying to shut your legs around San’s head but with no prevail. 
It happened suddenly, your orgasm crashing down and in a blink of an eye you felt one of your things being pressed open while you felt fingers enter you.
“Wha-”
“Gimme one last one, I know you can.”
Somehow San had moved to be parallel from your laying body, hovering above you as best as he could while his fingers drilled into you tight cunt.
His eyes focused on your face, the way you struggled to keep your eyes open and your eyebrows were pursed forward. There was no real rhythm to his fingers, part of him had only vaguely remembered how people fingered each other in videos. And even he knew those weren’t good examples to go off of.
“Come on, baby. I know you can cum for me one more time.”
Your mouth fell open in a silent moan, and suddenly all you could feel was San in every one of your senses. His smell, his body heat, his presence, his gaze on you… he was clouding every bit of your mental. The knot if your stomach was ready to snap, and you couldn’t even bring yourself to try and tell San that he was hitting that sweet spot. Could he even tell? You didn’t think so, but you could tell this orgasm was going to be different from all your prev-
“Look at you, holy fuck-” San began rubbing your clit quickly. “Baby, you’re fucking squirting for me.”
Your ears were ringing, and truthfully you could barely hear what San was saying. Your mind was entirely clouded, and you didn’t even have the strength to respond. Your body shuddered, and all you could muster up was weakly wrapping your arms around San and pulling him down on top of you.
“Hey, you okay?” San’s voice never failed to show his concern as he tried turning in your grasp to get a look at you.
You weakly hummed in response before speaking, trying to wrap your arms more comfortably around him.
“Feels like… feels like I’m on a cloud. Don’t want you to leave me, feels good. Here- Feels good you’re here. With me.” You rambled, fighting to keep your eyes open.
“I’m not going anywhere, baby.” San whispered, softly kissing the first piece of skin his lips could reach. He moved one of his hands to rest at your side, caressing his thumb back and forth lightly.
“Was it too much? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-” San mumbled into your skin.
“Shh.” San looked up at your face expectantly.
“I like this side of you, too, it was perfect, Sannie.”
He smiled, leaning back down to give you a swift kiss.
“You did good for me, by the way. And of course, always an overachiever…” There was a tilt to San’s voice as he spoke.
“Me? That’s definitely you, I was fine with not finishing after you came.”
“Oh really? Well, I wasn’t,” he playfully retorted.
“And this is why you’re mine, because you treat me so well,” you smiled, eyes still shut.
“And on that note, lemme get you cleaned up.”
“I don’t wanna take another shower right now, can we at least nap for a little before we do? I genuinely can’t feel my legs, I think.” 
“Fine, but I’m setting a timer for an hour. At least go pee.” San got up, his bare body facing away from you as he reached into one of his bags that was placed on one of the chairs in the corner of them. He walked back towards you, opening a package of wipes, gently wiping at the insides of your thighs as best as he could. He reached down to grab hold of your hand, tugging slightly to pull you up.
“An hour…” you echoed with a slight pout, looking back at San.
“Two at most.” You felt a content smile creeping on your face.
“Hold on, I’m gonna carry you, m’kay?” He reached hold of your back, lifting you so you could wrap your legs around his torso as he walked to the bathroom.
He placed you on the tile floor, stepping away and shutting the door behind him.
“I’m gonna strip the bed sheets, we might have to run into town to grab some detergent to wash… Lemme know when you’re about to come out though so I can grab your robe.” San’s head peaked through the door, giving you one last smile.
“Thank you.”
And with that he closed the door behind him.
-
You woke up to the alarm San had set going off and feeling insanely hot, your robe was exposing your naked body underneath and your legs were tangled with San’s.
In fact, most of his body was practically smothering yours and though you loved him dearly, you needed him to get off of you to cool down.  
You did your best to wiggle yourself free, but to no avail, San’s arms stayed holding you tightly.
“Why you trynna run away from me, huh?” San grumbled against your hair.
“I’m not running away, you’re literally a furnace.”
You tried kicking the blankets off with the little leg strength you had. San threw his leg over yours, pulling you as close as possible. Both of you fell into a fit of laughter, trying to squirm for freedom.
“San, let. Me. Go.” You laughed, pushing your body weight against him to free yourself from his hold.
“Never.”
“Please.”
“Nope.”
“You said we would only take a nap for two hours and then rinse off.”
“I know what I said.”
You laughed, eyebrows raised at his sudden sassiness.
“So since you know, let’s get up. You wanna run into town later, right?”
San hummed, his hand coming up from holding you to push your robe further off your back. His lips began softly kissing at your hot skin.
“Lemme have you one more time before we shower.” He grumbled, his lips now puckering to suck love bites against your shoulder. His hips pressed forward and you felt his cock begin to get hard against your lower back just above the swell of your ass.
“Seriously.” You moaned in disbelief, pushing your hips back to meet his. His teeth nipped at your skin, not hard enough to cause you any pain but enough to feel yourself getting aroused.
“I’ll make it quick, I promise.”
“Fine.” You huffed out, letting yourself relax your body into San’s, letting him touch you however he pleased.
San was right, he made it quick. He had his way with you while you guys spooned, thrusting his hips shallowly against your ass as he hit all your sweet spots. This vacation was definitely going to have both of you spent, and with San’s new found stamina, you were unsure if you were really going to be able to keep up.
-
It wasn’t long until you guys finally found the courage to get up and rinse off, deciding to finally make your way into town and grab a few things from the grocers.
“You said we needed detergent, yeah?” You said, pushing the cart down the aisle as San focused on items on the shelf.
“Yeah, detergent and then whatever snacks you want.”
“Snacks… okay, you want me to meet you in the frozen section?”
“That’s fine. I’mma grab some fruits and other stuff then head that way.”
You hummed, making your way to the other side of the store to select your items.
Five minutes, maybe ten at most, had passed until San finally made his way back to meet up with you. Reaching the cart, he dumped his items in.
“Ready?”
“Yeah let’s-” You stopped, eyes falling on two bottles of lube that San had thrown in with the rest of his items that consisted of sugary snacks and fruit.
“What?” He paused, waiting for you to finish. His eyes trailed down to what you were looking out before continuing, “Look you can never have too much, okay? Also, I made a promise when we first got here.”
And with that, San walked his way to the front of the store where the registers were, turning around briefly to motion you to follow before walking again.
-
When you guys had gotten back from the store, you both decided to put in a frozen pizza in the oven and ate quickly, finding refuge on the couch shortly after to relax. You guys had the bed sheets in the washer, currently laid up on the couch. The television played some movie that San had decided on, something about volleyball, you weren’t tracking too much to be quite frank.
You laid on top of San, feeling his heartbeat pound against your ear. His hands gently scratched against your back, as if he were to press any harder you’d break.
“Y/N?” San softly spoke, his hands stopping in place.
“Hmm..” Your eyes fought to stay open, exhaustion and content consuming your body after the day’s events.
“Everything was okay, yeah?” San’s voice trailed off, almost as if he felt embarrassed to even ask you. You knew what he was implying. You lifted your head to look him in the eyes.
“It was perfect. I’m glad you trust me, San. Seriously. And I’m so glad you let me love you the way you needed and let me show you how much I love you.”
San’s lips fell into a soft pout, he felt a lump in his throat. He didn’t say anything, instead he pulled you down for a tender kiss. It was sweet, there was no sexual intentions behind this one, just pure unadulterated love from the both of you.
“I love you, like a lot. Like for eternity, even.” San said as he pulled away from the kiss, smiling up at you.
“I love you for eternity, too.” You smiled back, giving him one last peck before laying your head back on his chest and succumbing to the sleepiness that slowly invaded your mind.
And the rest of your time on your vacation get-a-way was spent like that. Spending time with another, sharing affectionate moments and sweet words. San was true to his word, he took you on every surface in that house that he could defile you on. The kitchen counters, the table, the couch, the shower, even the stairs. He’d gone through a bottle and a half of lube since he had purchased it that first day there and you were more than sure the way he was fucking you, in all these different positions and with his stamina in mind, he was surely going to end up putting a baby in you.
One thing you had begun to realize about San though- well, a few things- was how he loved coming inside you and watching you push it out. As if he couldn’t wrap his head around that all of that seed was really his. Also that he really liked making you squirt- it wasn’t something you’d known before that you were capable of doing, so to have a guy who had very little sexual experience, make you do that, was truly mind-boggling.
After your vacation, you noticed your energy shift between each other for the better. San had passed his horny phase, and overall had just enjoyed being romantically intimate just as much as he enjoyed being sexually intimate. Not that he hadn’t been that way before, but it definitely felt more comfortable to express those sides of him naturally. You both brought out new sides of each other and to be able to express that so comfortably and safely was more than perfect.
Time had passed and yet another school year had finally come to an end, summer was approaching quickly.
“You heading back home for the summer?” San asked as you guys strolled along the trail that went through the campus park. His hands played with the ends of your hair as you walked, his eyes looking at you expectantly.
“Hmm, I thought about it, my lease ends right before summer starts so it at least gives me time to really think but, honestly I don’t wanna…”
“Come with me.”
“What?” You stopped walking, turning to look at San.
“I mean come with me for the summer. I’m going back home and we have a spare room if anything since my sister doesn’t live at the house anymore…” His voice trailed off as his hands removed themself from your hair, bringing them forward and stuffing them in his pockets.
“Well… I mean, are your parents okay with-”
“I already asked them… last month. And again last week, I didn’t tell them it was for sure though because I wasn’t sure how to bring it up to you but if you do decide to come, they’re okay with it and they’re super excited to meet you. No pressure though.” San chewed on his lower lip, avoiding your eyes.
You grabbed his wrists, taking his hands out of his pockets and bringing his hands to your lips, giving each one a soft kiss. Your eyes met his, and you found him looking back at you fondly with a faint blush creeping on his cheeks. He was trying hard to fight the smile that so desperately wanted to be on display for you and only you.
“Well, then. I would love to spend the summer with you and your family.” You pulled him forward to kiss his lips quickly, before pulling away and leading him down the trail of the park.
This upcoming summer was definitely going to be one to remember, and you were more than excited to spend it with the one you loved most.
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aethelwyneleigh27 · 1 year
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Lia's Writers and Blog Recommendations
Hi there lovelies! Lia here and I'd love to share the some creators that have so far been feeding me with amazing content and I'd love for you and them to know how I feel about their works so there is a bit of commentary (feel free to ignore if you're only here for recs). They are all from different fandoms and I genuinely love their works. I am not here to hate on anyone at all, simply here to bring attention to those creators I find worth reading. In fact I actually don't do negative commentary. (If I do, it's probably towards my life 😭)
This will be constantly edited if I find more creators that I loved within each fandoms. I'm sorry to all the creators I've probably bothered with this notification, if you want to be taken off this list then I will respect that and do so :))
I will respectively use the pronouns these people have provided in their bios and if they do not have it in their bios then I'll simply use they/them <3
To all tagged creators, y'all are amazing and so fucking underrated :3
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CoD Creators
@frogchiro - This creator is more likely known for the absolutely scrumptious CoD hybrid AUs. MY GOD EVERY SINGLE ONE OF HER AUs ARE JUST ON ANOTHER LEVEL. Ranging from Hacker girl!Reader to Baracks Bunny!Reader. (Octo König and Coyote Graves are personal faves of mine) (Her nsfw content is the most toe curling shit I've ever read)
@ghouljams - This creator is another known for their CoD AUs, only this time you may know them as the one who wrote the Cowboy and Medieval AUs. This person and @frogchiro actually got their inboxes mixed up a few times I believe, they're both really just that good, I clearly need pointers. (I honestly don't have much words because god do I eat their content up)
@wishesforyouo (previous account being: @puff0o0) - This lovely creator makes short but sweet CoD content, you may recognize her as the person who made the popular self-aware CoD AU. Definitely my cup of tea because I really like short reads from time to time. (Miss this AU, sweetie <3)
@blingblong55 - This creator loves to make me cry, idk why. I love her though, her nsfw content is also freaking delicious I can't even.
@xo-cod - This creator, I can't even begin. I just love their writing style, it's sweet, quite short and worth the read. (We also have the same name)
@lunarw0rks - This creator makes me wanna bang my head on a table with how good their Ghost content is.
@ceilidho - This creator I can't even begin to describe how fucking delicious the Ghost content is, idgaf if it's short (IT'S PERFECT). Like my god, how'd y'all come up with content that you do. I think she captures Ghost quite well in her writing.
@mistydeyes - This creator, my fucking god. Her content is so good especially the requests she gets. The overall vibe of her writing gives a specific aesthetic that I love so much and honestly their series is worth the freaking read. Series mentioned here, the writing style is so unique but captures the characters perfectly.
@wordstome - This creator made the GREATEST FUCKING FRIENDS TO LOVERS KÖNIG FANFIC I HAVE EVER READ. It was all just so perfect, the length, the pacing and the writing style is fucking incredible. God where'd y'all get the talent to write this, here's the link to said fanfic because I do not gatekeep.
@multifandomimagin3s - This creator and the amount of Rudy content, I AM EATING IT UP. What do y'all feed yourselves to write with this amount of quality? Like their depiction of Rudy (and of course the others) is just Chef's kiss. (Also idk why but this person seems familiar since I remember someone in Wattpad a long time ago who has the same user)
@lxvvie - This creator creates the best fucking characterization I've ever read, LIKE HELLO?! Horangi is so accurate and her version of König is too. I love it, I'm eating her content up.
@rustic-guitar-notes - This creator I wanted tag this Creator so bad on this creator list because I feel like they're so underappreciated and their works are so good, LIKE IT'S ALWAYS THE UNDERAPPRECIATED WORKS THAT ARE SO GOOD THEY MAKE YOU FEEL WHAT YOU NEED AND WANT TO FEEL.
@icarustypicalfall - This creator is mutuals with almost every single one of my fave mutuals and that's how I found them. MY GOD THE RUDY AND ALEJANDRO CONTENT?? I'M EATING THAT SHIT UP.
@skeletalgoats - This creator IS SO FREAKING UNDERATED, I FOUND MYSELF BINGING THIER WORKS AND IT IS SO GOOD AND YOU KNOW WHAT'S THE BEST THING? THEY HAVE MULTIPLE WORKS ON ROACH. Istg y'all, WE NEED MORE OF ROACH.
@ghosts-cyphera - This creator, HELLO MISS MA'AM? THE PS!GHOST AU?!?! SHE GOT ME THINKING OF IT ALL THE TIME NOW LIKE WHAT DOES SHE PUT IN HER WRITING TO MAKE IT SO GOOD. First of all I'm in love with her version of Ghost because he's just so fucking caring despite the sexual themes, SHE MANAGED TO MAKE A PORNSTAR AU WITH DOMESTIC AND ROMANTIC ASPECTS WITHOUT MAKING IT FEEL SHALLOW AND SUPERFICIAL, LIKE HOW? What kind of food are y'all eating to create the content you guys feed us readers with?
@halcyone-of-the-sea - This creator has their own aesthetic and vibe when it comes to the writing. OMG I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN WITH THE WRITING STYLE, IT'S SO GOOD AND DETAILED. NOT MENTION SHE HAS QUITE A LOT OF POPULAR WORKS THAT I BINGED LIKE THERE WAS NO TOMORROW.
@azereus - This creator, I CAN'T EVEN LIKE WHY SO CRIMINALLY UNDERATED? THEIR WRITING IS LITERALLY SO GOOD AND DESERVES SO MUCH BETTER THAN THE ATTENTION IT'S GETTING. NOT ONLY THAT BUT I'VE READ THEIR WORK OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
@peachesofteal - This creator, OH MY FUCKING GOD, THE WRITING IS A GODSEND. I FINISHED HER WHOLE SERIES "LIGHT ON" IN LESS THAN AN HOUR AND NOW I'M CRAVING MORE. HOLY SHIT IT WAS SO FUCKING GOOD. "MY GIRLS"?!?! GOT ME SO BAD, MY FUCKING HEART IS EXPLODING.
@drop-cherries - this creator brought me back on this list. You all must be saying "Lia you haven't updated this is so long, it must be some scrumptious ass work you've seen". DAMN WELL IT'S GOOD, got me in my feels and everything, needed that domestic life with Simon after so much nsfw content, I need breaks too y'all. Although I did like that one nsfw post earlier, if you saw that, no you didn't :). They are so criminally underrated too so go check them out, from one creator to another, they seem so freaking talented and I love using my platform to help you guys reach other creators too, who hardly get enough attention for something they worked hard on :>
TLOU Creators
@elliesbelle - This creator is top of this list for a reason, their content is the most scrumptious, drama-filled fanfics I have ever read. And yes I'm referring to their series "Nobody Compares To You". I can't even begin to say how much I love this creator, if I wasn't broke then I'd would've already tipped them. I personally think she captures Ellie's personality well. I appreciate a writer who implements shit that happen in her life into her stories. (Despite that, the amount of things happening in their love life is also some complicated shit that I love hearing updates from. Love ya belle <3) Me reading the belle's fanfic at 3am knowing damn well I have school the next day
@lovelettersfromluna - This creator is another amazing writer and holy hell are her works so good, like the length and writing style is just perfect. It's so compact yet it's not too long, add me on your ma'am taglist, please 🥺 <3
@seattlesellie - This creator, I just love her writing style especially with the knight!Ellie fic. Not to mention all the Abby content <3
@callmelola111 - This creator is another person to go to when looking for top tier Ellie fanfics, definitely worth the read on her works.
@clemellie - This creator AND WRITING TLOU SMUT IS A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN OH MY GOD, first of all, the characterization of both Ellie and Abby are so top tier then there's the ungodly toe curling smut. She is worth the fucking read every time.
@papipedroo - This creator has made a a series on Joel Miller x Reader angst AND I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO SAY HOW GOOD IT WAS. THEY GOT ME CRYING AT 7 IN THE MORNING. I also adore the writing style and pacing, I genuinely could not wait for the next part because I NEED Joel to grovel. I DON'T EVEN CRUSH ON JOEL MILLER AND THEY GOT ME HOOKED SO BAD.
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290 notes · View notes
mcrinmyhead · 4 months
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INTRODUCTION
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Hiya, my name's Dee or you can call me Dead! instead, cuz that's what my name is in Tumblr. I'm sixteen. I'm an Indian, racists better fck off. I like to draw, sing and write songs and poems. I mainly post my art here and I have two side blogs too, which are @mcrinmyheart (idk what I post there :D) and @shesacomplicatedpoet where... Er, you know it. And when I say "art" I usually draw My Chem, Fall Out Boy, Linkin Park, Bring Me The Horizon and a few other bands, but you can always leave a picture in the "Ask me?" box if you really want me to draw something that you like :). Just make sure it isn't something s!utty, cuz my parents like seeing my sketchbook sometimes, haha.
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About me...
Name: Dead! / Dee
Age: 16
Pronouns: she/they
Sexuality: Bisexual
Likes: listening to music, art, singing, music bands, food, sleeping (I'm a very eepy person), travelling, reading, etc.
What kind of art do I do? Fanarts mainly.
Dislikes: peanuts (yea I don't like 'em, so if you know me irl and try to feed me peanuts, I'm gonna fcking stab you, you little shit), pedos, homophobic fcks, MSI apologists, basic DNIs, etc.
Am I single? Yes, and that's because I don't want to date anyone. Nvm, I'm taken :]
Music bands/artists I like:
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+ twenty one pilots, p!atd, Bring Me The Horizon, Glass Animals, Bad Omens, Sleep Token, etc. I also liked The 1975, The Nbhd, Joji, Driver The Era, Arctic Monkeys and Chase Atlantic before, so I really don't mind if you wanna talk about them too. I'm basically a music addict who has listened to a whole lotta music genres throughout my life. But I'm currently into rock music rn. Yeah, I can't stop talking about music if I start.
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My favourites:
Books: Agatha Christie's books, Heartstopper, Five Feet Apart, The Fault in our Stars, Crime/Horror/Mystery books (there are many but I can't remember them), etc.
Movies: anything horror, mystery, crime, sci-fi, Marvel, DC, Star Wars, from the 2000s and 90s, etc. (How do people actually choose a favourite movie??)
Shows: Loki, Heartstopper, Young Royals, Marvel shows, etc. (I literally like all the shows I watch)
Albums: My top 10 rn (June 2024) are like- Three cheers for sweet revenge (my chem), POST HUMAN: NexGen (BMTH), XO (LeATHERMØUTH), The Black Parade (my chem), I brought you my bullets, you brought me your love (my chem), Clancy (Tøp), A Thousand Suns (Linkin Park), Danger Days (my chem), Folie a Deux (FOB), and Pretty. Odd. (P!ATD).
Colours: (Bury me in) Black, Blood Red and Lavender.
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Where else can you find me?
At home, in my room 95% of the time. Nah, just kidding.
Links:
Pinterest
Spotify
Discord: mcrinmyhead
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Tags I use:
My art: #art
Asks: #asks #asks <3
Scroll down for more facts about me...
Or don't. I really don't care.
Fun facts about me ^^:
I'm a really joyful, chaotic, kind, funny and a sweet person! :D (according to my frens)
Until and unless you get me on my nerves. Trust me, That's when I go insane.
If you know me irl, hi... Uh, I know I don't talk much in person but I'm sorry. That's just who I am. But if you want to be my friend, you can start by texting me lol.
I'm a music addict who likes to annoy people by talking about music bands 24/7.
I have an unhealthy obsession over My Chem.
I'm a huge nerd (according to every person in my class) and I like Math and Science (but I don't really talk about it unless you are someone who is into math and science as much as me).
I'm also a sarcastic and sassy person. So if my words ever offend you, I'm so sorry bbg. Deal with it.
I'm a vampire (I have fangs and I will bite you to suck that blood your body holds, RAHHH).
Other than drawing and singing, my hobbies are fangirling, sleeping, reading books, travelling and sometimes even cooking.
I might be surrounded by many people who I call my "friends," but in the end it's just four people who are actually my friends.
I'm mostly an introvert, but I'm an extrovert when I'm with my friend.
Yikes, this list is still going on!
I lived in Germany for two months along with my parents, but we moved back to India because I couldn't handle the bullying and all. But it was fun there, ngl. Having a new name was the worst part though (it was Diana, which I still use sometimes, and my aunts pronouncing it... was er... shit).
I suck at socializing btw.
But I like to annoy people at the same time.
Wait, does Tumblr have a word limit on a post?
SHALL I TRY REACHING THE WORD LIMIT???
Ah, yeah, I forgot to mention this but I'm a really curious person. I like trying out or experimenting on stuff. It's fun, okay?
I can be smart and an idiot at the same time B)
I write poems but I don't like showing them to others cuz I feel like they're stupid. Any tips on poetry from the poets of Tumblr?
I love cats. Cats or get tf out.
Am I annoying rn?
Idk.
This was fun.
Alright, that's enough fckery for today. Farewell my little kittens <333
So long and good night!
28 notes · View notes
peachsayshi · 1 year
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Hiiii peachy can pls recommend me some good fics u have read ? What type of works do u like to read? For me I love some delicious angst I’d love to recommend u some but if I remember correctly u mentioned that u don’t like them so :(
Hi, sweet anon! yes, yes! the thing is, I'm just particular about angst, and I don't mind reading it but I don't like it when it's hurt/no comfort. my sad girl brain can't take too much of it lol but here are some other recs which I loved which is more my kind of angst level
"too much" by @lunargrapejuice - this piece is so, so good and I actually teared up reading it. I love some good hurt/comfort with nanami and I feel like the writing and characterization was spot on!
"under the burning sun...feelings become visible" by @suget - I loved reading this piece as well, and I am always in awe with how venecia writes geto. a really good balance of fluff and angst to me.
this drabble by @sxttoruu had me in a million little pieces. I just wanted to cuddle gojo and tell him I love him.
this piece by @dearestgojo made me feel like I was actually going through a heartbreak and hurt my feelings unnecessarily sldkfjsldk
using the safeword with toji by @vilsoo is another hurt/comfort piece that I absolutely loved. my heart was so tight reading it and the sweet ending made it all better.
please check out @half-baked-biscuit writing - especially her satosugu stuff for jjk content but she also wrote this amazing piece with aki x himeno (csm) that was so good!
please note that this is just a very small list, and there other amazing talented writers whose works I also loved dearly! if you're interested in what I read, you can find it on my sideblog at @peachinthelibrary or check out my "reading pile📙" tag on my blog <3 xo
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mqstermindswift · 10 months
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“Nicky’s new year’s day event”
name inspired by @taylorswift (taylor ily sm)
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to begin with THANK YOU SO MUCH!!232 is crazy,I can't believe I know that many people
a/n:I've not interacted nor talked with many of you and I'm so sorry for that.Im just trying to do well in school!This is a celebration and an event to thank you!hope you have fun and enjoy this as much as I do.
event ended on january 7
my intro post
my pet
midnights - talk to me!!ask me questions,kmk,anything you'd like <3
think later - send me a(n) character,album,aesthetic,etc. and I'll make a moodboard for it
lover - I'll make a moodboard of you/your blog
portals - I'll make a playlist of anything you want(can be a person as well)
xo - I'll write a letter to you(moots only)
fictional - send me a fandon,gender preference and a few facts about you snd I'll ship you witha. character
(fandoms I'm familiar with:harry potter,marauders,mcu,tsitp,barbie,ginny and georgia,scream(the franchise),nickelodeon's teen shows(such as icarly)and basically any fandom I've posted about or mentioned in this blog)
closure - tell me a character,what you want the fanfic to be(smut,fluff,angst,etc) and I'll recommend you some good fanfics here on tumblr
the story of us - send me a song/artist and I'll tell you my thoughts on it(could be an artist/song I've listened or haven't listened to before)
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
rules/notes:
send requests in an ask only please,it'll be rlly messy if it's in the replies or reblogs of a post
I may take a while to complete your request,rlly sorry about that
all posts are here
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
(my)moots/people who asked to be tagged:
@allisonh5050
@urgirlnextdoorr
@mattheoriddlemarcuslopez
@silly-mirrorball
@radioverse
@reminiscentreader
@what-about-wendy
@kitsohana
@theboringava
@skeelly
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
thank you all so much again
love,
nicky <3
41 notes · View notes
spindrifters · 1 year
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x. PINNED POST THING
FIC MASTERLIST:
marginalia
WIP. 273k/? E. Canon-divergence dystopian AU. Wolfstar, side Dorlene and eventual Jily.
history books forgot about us
Complete. 25k. E. Ted/Andromeda prequel set in the marginalia verse.
ocho kandelikas
Complete. 11k. T-E. Hannukah anthology of 8 standalone one shots in various timelines and verses. Wolfstar, various side characters and ships.
until our ribs get tough
Complete. 4k. M. Prequel Remus and Lily friendship slice of life set in the marginalia verse.
twentieth century boy
Complete. 3k. E. The Sirius-on-a-leash fic. Wolfstar.
the verge
Disconnected one-shots. Mainly Wolfstar.
SOME TAGS:
x marginalia blogging x mwpp in shorts agenda x lesbian wolfstar x trans remus lupin hours x drabble tag
FAQ:
Can I bookbind your fics?
Please read this so, so carefully, because it's important. If you are designing, printing, and binding the fic yourself for the purpose of keeping it or gifting it on to a friend, then yes. Absolutely. Nothing would make me happier. Fandom is punk and community-oriented and exists outside of the capitalist economy, and I would love nothing more than to see the results of your incredible craftsmanship. But if you're using Lulu or another for-profit printing company to do it, if any money is changing hands at any point in the process, then the answer is a resounding fuck no. If you're confused by this policy, I'm begging you to take the time to read on here about why this trend is such a danger to all of us who write and read fanfiction.
Can I translate/record a podfic of your fics?
Ask me first, but I can't imagine a reason I wouldn't say yes. Just so long as they stay on AO3 and link back to the original fic where you have the option to pick This work is a remix, a translation, a podfic, or was inspired by another work. Please don't upload to Spotify.
Can I put your fic on Wattpad or another fic hosting platform?
No.
Can I put your fic on Goodreads or StoryGraph?
Absolutely not.
Can I feed your work to ChatGPT or another AI?
No! What's wrong with you?
Do you have an update schedule?
No. My current WIP is usually updated once or twice a week, but sometimes the wait is longer than that. I have a job and health issues and sometimes even a social life, and I do this on my own time because it brings me joy.
Can I write fic/draw art/create something else inspired by your fics?
Yes! And I hope you understand what a compliment that is! Like I said before, fanfic is punk and community oriented and this is a folkloric tradition. You actually really don't need my permission to do this, but I would ask that any fic stay on AO3 and link back to the original fic where you have the option to pick This work is a remix, a translation, a podfic, or was inspired by another work. For anything else, I'd love to see the results of your creativity, and would just ask that due credit and a link back to the original fic are clearly present somewhere.
XO ZO
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tandy-angel · 5 months
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💐 quotev refugee & professional sillyposter
hi there :3 i'm mars short for marshall & i like nicknames (among other things) ! my prns are they/them :3 i'm queer and have some gender in between the spectrum idk. currently in limbo since i haven't thought about it in a while haha
i'm tandy-angel or some variation thereof on most anything just hmu if you're interested in following on other platforms not listed below ^_^
i'm a fairly low-effort hellenic practicioner and modern witch who sometimes believes they used to be an angel. i love culture and religion and i'm currently reading the bible and learning tagalog. i have a moderate understanding of written spanish but do not believe i could hold a verbal conversation. i'm working on it
i have a lot of interests. i love all things beautiful and even those that aren't. i love humanity and romanticize everything! so yeah. i have a lot of interests. i'll link a post below outlining them all <3
more useless info below the cut but please follow & interact if any of this interests you :D i have no idea how to use tumblr despite having had one for years. my gf is coaching me so please be kind >_< anyway. hmu ♡ i'm nice i love talking to people i'll be here. like subscribe & follow thanks. mwah! xo, mars
⭐️ reference to tags i use [ official taglist ]
#hehe :3 things i like. more vague than #mecore
#mecore things i relate to. fairly obvious
#ray speaks truth a raypost i've reblogged and agree with. also obvious imo
#raycore things i think my gf might relate to/things that relate to him
#i love my southern gf idk. more specific gf tag, things that relate to him being southern or things that just make me feel particularly affectionate
#witchery on main fairly self explanatory. i usually post witch things on @mars-witchery
#check misc my "check and sort later" tag
#misc is anything non-fandom related. fandoms will be tagged as such
🔮 other socials
tandyangel2 / ao3 (i use this when i have something to publish that i am pleased with. very rare)
tandyangel / fanfiction (no longer active, yet sometimes i dream of going back ;___;)
tandy_angel2 / twt (also no longer active. have a few good memories from that era though) (edit: i will be heading back + revamping soon. re: quotev death)
tandyangel / pokefarm (i'm here only sometimes. read: barely ever)
mostly on quotev (no longer, since quotev death) & instagram with a personal account. hmu if you want it if we're friends, mutuals, or have interacted once. barely here on tumblr but it's a cute space so i wanna be on more. we'll see
🌷 other links
• interests
• carrd
• side blogs
long story short ! ★
✿ mars, they/them. queer + neurodiv
✿ taken, 1r1p. aroace bi lesbian
✿ likes music. psych + cs major
✿ i hate queer discourse count me OUT
✿ i'm a romantic i love everything else
✿ i'm friendly i promise please hmu
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gphoenixsims · 6 months
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~ url song game ~🎧Thank you, @blackswan-sims! Glad you tagged me on this one and not my main blog, I still have flashbacks from the last time XD This time I'll be using only songs that I physically have on my laptop, yes I'm one of those people lol
G - Galvanize - The Chemical Brothers P - Principles of Lust - Enigma H - Hazard - Richard Marx O - On The Nature of Daylight - Max Richter E - Everybody Knows - Sigrid N - No Line on the Horizon - U2 I - I Forgot You Existed - Taylor Swift X - XO - Beyoncé S - Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) - Eurythmics I - If You Love Somebody Set Them Free - Sting M - Meet Me on the Equinox - Death Cab for Cutie S - Silence - Delirium ft Sarah McLachlan
This has been doing rounds already for a while so don't know who to tag... so you, person seeing this, YOU are tagged now!
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screampied · 7 months
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Honestly, not even sure I should be asking this here but trial and error.
Very incredibly new to Tumblr and its workings. I definetly want to share my writing here but I'm not sure how to start or what I'm doing frankly. Looking at your blog and how its formatted is definitley something I want to achieve but going about that is the issue. I DON'T WANT TO COPY YOU, your blog just leaks experience.
I'm honestly probably overwhelmed by the amount of new "social norms" on Tumblr considering a lot of what I'm used to is different here. That was a lot of overexplaining that I didn't need to do. I should've started with that fact that I'm looking for pointers/advice if you'd be willing.
If not, thanks anyway pooks <3 I apologize for how long this came out to be.
hello friend !! 💖🥰 welcome to my blog xo
firstly, welcome to tumblr. i hope u enjoy ur time in this space :) it takes a while to get accustomed to but you’ll get the hang of it !! ah i see, no worries !! yes yes, i tend to make my blog or my pinned post per say really easy and direct so ppl can access things + usually it’s important to make a pinned post if ur a writer / potential writer so u can add all the necessary things (masterlist, rules, before you follow + dni, etc) i like being neat and real precise—and yeah !! i guess u can say i have a bit of experience with tumblr
but of course, i see what u mean. it’s quite easy to feel overwhelmed here. for me, that’s why im only on here for certain minutes / hours at a time. take a long break then come back later. 🩶
but to conclude, yeah !! if ur wanting to start off as a new writer — try to plan everything out before you start publishing. it’s kind of a lot to grasp. the tumblr tag system, interactions, setting up your blog so it can be easier to access for others, but first don’t overwhelm urself. start easy, make a simple pinned post with like maybe a masterlist, rules of stuff u write / don’t write, n that sort of stuff !! i hope this helps u 🩶😽
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karakos-little-circus · 8 months
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Welcome To The Little Circus!
[Previously known as baby-blue-basil]
Hihihi! This is a SFW ONLY regression and otherkin blog!
You can call me Karako! :oD
My pronouns are he/clown/honk/troll/demon! I have more neos, but I’d like to use just these ones for this blog.
I am an age regressor and caregiver (flip)! More on the regressor side, though! Please do not ask me to be your CG or ask to be mine, as I already have one. Plus my social anxiety and busy schedules wouldn’t really make me the best CG for multiple people, let alone someone I hardly know. /lh :o(
I’m not too sure what my little age range is, but I’d say around 0-7? (Baby, toddler, and kid regressor, I’d say!)
My big age is 18! Please keep that in mind when interacting! I personally have no issues with adults or minors interacting with my blog, as long as it is SFW. I’d prefer talking through asks rather than DMs, just because I struggle carrying out conversation with someone new and tend to be very anxious. /lh Xo( I may give you permission to DM me if we have interacted for a while, but please don’t count on that!
I am otherkin, fictionkin, therian, and copinglinker! This is a safe space for the otherkin/alterhuman community as well as systems!
I’m not a pet regressor, but they are also absolutely allowed here! :o3
I make stimboards and moodboards from time to time! You can request something, but I may be a bit picky. I’ll probably just stick to certain fandoms and/or characters.
Fandoms I like include, but aren’t limited to: Homestuck/Hiveswap, Omori (I do NOT support Omocat!), Demon Slayer, FNaF, Bluey, Blue’s Clues, Chainsaw Man, Jujutsu Kaisen, Kirby, TLoZ, Splatoon, etc.!
I block freely (won’t happen unless I’m uncomfortable with your blog), but my DNI is:
Basic DNI criteria (racism, homophobia, terfs, ableism, etc.), anti-agere/petre, NSFW/kink (ABDL, DDLG, etc.), pro-ed/sh, proship/MAP, zoos, anti-neos/xenos, anti-therian/otherkin, anti-furry, pro-cringe culture, endos, xenosatanism, if you plan to fetishize me, my regression, and/or posts! I will not hesitate to block! >:o(
I hope you all have fun here!! We shouldn’t have any problems as long as you do not cross my boundaries! :o)
Check out my Tags!
[My DNI banner is made by me, for me, and is NOT free to use!!]
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xbunny-k · 2 years
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The Actor & I: PART TWENTY-EIGHT – Anastasia? Are You Ok?
This is part TWENTY EIGHT of a very long, SLOW BURN series on Austin Butler and a Production Assistant on set of Elvis (2022).
Masterlist here!
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Anything italicized is main character’s thoughts!
Warnings: *this next entry will discuss an abusive relationship (emotional and physical) can DM you a recap w/out that part of the story if you need!* Possessiveness, smidge of misogyny, Smut, Fluff, eventual Spoilers for Elvis (2022), language (If i missed anything, please comment so i can add!)
Tags: @manddor @pumkiinpasties​ @its-funny-til-its-not​ @karamelcoveredolicity @butlerstyles @feral4austinbutler @mirandastuckinthe80s @emilykolchivans @atombombbibunny @francescababy @starry-night-20 @yeetfack-blog @milaa24 @londonalozzy @xo-aurora @chaoticbilly @mamaspresley @sageskywalker @cryingabtab @readerloverlevy @jakiki94 @dancer4j @pennyroyalcreep (Let me know if you’d like to be added!)
Please, if you like this, share it, comment, like it and enjoy xx
The next few days at work fly by as I’m busy preparing to be out of office for over a week to travel to Memphis with Austin, Baz and a few other people from Baz’s team. By the time it’s Friday night, I regret making plans tonight with my friends, but it’ll be good to see them and decompress from work a bit. I change into a black dress after getting ready for the night with my friend Nicole. I’ve been drinking a bit while getting ready and decide to take some pictures and actually post on Instagram, which is not very on brand for me. I giggle posting the photos thinking they’re a bit risqué of me in a mini dress on the bed, but who cares.
A few hours later, we’re leaving dinner with a group of friends and head out to a club, which is not my thing at all, but it’s for our friend Justin’s birthday. Awhile after being on the dance floor and drinking a bit, I decide to sit down and check my phone. As soon as I see the notifications, I feel like I sober up a bit. 3 texts from Kelsey, she’s with us, why is she texting me? 5 texts from Austin, I….
I decide to open Kelsey’s texts first since it’s weird she’s texting me since she’s with us, but she runs over to me before I can read them. “Ana, did you see what I sent you?! Why is he commenting on your Instagram. Like he deleted it, but still,” she screams over the music pulsating through the club. “What,” I yell back at her. She points at my phone before sitting down next to me. Her texts look panicked starting with, “OMG!” to “ANA!!!” and then finally a screenshot of my Instagram. Austin had commented a red heart emoji. I feel myself blush but try to hide it from my best friend.
I then realize I had texts from Austin. I rush to open them but try to shield them from Kelsey who is right next to me.
“Ok, I went to the grocery store and you’re going to think I’m crazy for how much stuff I bought.”
“I know we’re hanging out tomorrow, but what are you up to tonight?” “Your post…you look really great.”
“Where are you headed tonight?”
“Sorry for all the texts, I started drinking with some friends and…I just wanted to talk to you.”
I smile at the last one because I too want to talk to him. I kinda miss him even though we spent a lot of time together this week… As I’m deep in thought about texting Austin back, I see the last person I would ever want to see. What is he doing here? I need out of here.
I feel Kelsey grab my arm and I look at her. It’s the look best friends know what it means right away, “No I’m not ok, we need to leave.” She nods and grabs her purse and I follow suit, but as we’re getting up, my ex, Brandon, approaches me and leans down whispering into my ear, “Oh hey, Anaaa. You look good.” I roll my eyes and nod as politely as I can while gripping onto Kelsey’s arm for dear life.
I look over at my friend Justin and yell over the music, “I’m sorry to leave early on your birthday, but we’re gonna head out!” He comes over and whispers in my ear, “I don’t know why he’s here; I don’t even know the last time I talked to him…” I shrug and hug him as I try to make my way out. Before I can get away from our table, Brandon comes up and tries to pull me away from Kelsey. Kelsey pulls me on the other side of her, placing herself between me and my ex as she shouts at him, “Not tonight, Brandon. Just leave her alone.” Apparently, this is loud enough to get a bouncer’s attention as a bouncer makes his way over to us. I make eye contact with the bouncer and then look at Brandon and it seems the bouncer understands as he goes to ask Brandon to leave.
Kelsey and I try to leave the area, but with a rope tying off the area, we get a little stuck. Brandon comes up behind me following the bouncer and says loudly for anyone to hear, “You look good for a slut. Anyone want an easy time? Look over here.” I try to hide myself out of embarrassment for the scene he’s causing and to hide my expression from Kelsey. I don’t want her to see he still has the ability to make me feel so small. We broke up a while ago after I finally realized he was being abusive to me and it’s taken me time to heal, but his words still hurt. Kelsey pulls me out and before I know it, we’re in an Uber headed to my place.
Once we get back to my place, she offers to come up, but I just tell her I’m tired and gonna go to sleep. I promise to text her the next day and then head upstairs. The minute I get inside I slide down the other side of the door and just burst into tears. It’s not so much what my ex was yelling, just the place it brought me back to. I work so hard to not think about my past and anything that happened with Brandon but seeing him and feeling his grip on my arm. I feel my phone vibrate in my bag and pull it out. It’s just Kelsey letting me know she got home and to call her if I need her. I gasp for breath in between tears and switch from my messages to the phone call screen and before I know it, I’m waiting for an answer.
Eventually, I hear Austin say, “Anastasia? Are you ok? It’s so late.” There’s no way he can’t hear my tears as he then just asks, “Are you at home?” I nod and realize he can’t see me nodding, but I cannot bring myself to stop crying as I just whimper out, “Yyy-es.”
He firmly responds, “I’m on my way, I’ll be there in 15 minutes, ok, Anastasia?”
In what feels like no time at all, Austin arrives to my apartment and softly knocks on the door. I’m still sitting on the floor right against the door, so I just slide up and open the door. Austin is in a t-shirt and sweat shorts and his face falls as soon as he sees me. “Oh, Anastasia, what’s wrong,” he asks as he walks in my apartment and closes the door behind him. He pulls me in immediately into a hug and whispers, “It’s okay, baby. Let’s get you to bed.” He kisses the top of my head and guides me to my room. “Do you wanna take your shoes off and I’ll get you something comfy to wear,” he asks, but I grab his arm. “Don’t go, please,” I quietly beg. I slide out of my heels and lay down on my bed. Austin sits in the space next to me and I can feel him looking at me trying to figure out what to do or say.
Ana, you need to say something. He isn’t your boyfriend, but you called him and begged him to come over.
I tune my thoughts out as I don’t have the energy to be thinking about work or what Austin actually is to me. I just needed my friend who would be there for me without question. Kelsey wouldn’t judge me, but she would just tell me to wisen up and not dwell on it. She’d be right, but I just need to let the emotions out. I can’t bottle up how much seeing my ex and feeling his skin on mine, even if just a brief second, hurt me. It took me back to such a dark place.
While my head is spinning, I realize Austin has gotten up from the bed. “I’ll be right back, I’m just gonna get you some water,” he says as he bends down to me and rubs my cheek softly with his thumb. I nod and he hurries out to my kitchen. I see him come back towards my bedroom, but he goes into my bathroom. I try to relax my mind and calm myself down to stop crying. I can feel my tears streaming down my face, but I finally am able to catch my breath and feel the sobbing stop.
Austin appears at my side crouched down facing me. He has some Tylenol and water held out for me, which I gladly take. He takes the water glass and offers me a make-up removing wipe, which makes me giggle. “There she is,” he smiles softly at me. I take the wipe from him and sit up a bit to take my make-up off. Once I’m done, he caresses my face with his thumb and says, “Much better.” I can feel more tears coming as I lay down again and I quietly ask, “Come lay down with me?” Austin with zero hesitation slides out of his shoes and is laying down opposite me. He wraps his one arm around me and uses the other to rub my arm. He quietly asks, “Anastasia, do you wanna tell me what happened?”
I sigh and quietly say, “No, but I feel like I owe you an explanation.” He turns me around so I’m facing him, and he says, “You don’t owe me anything. We can just lay here until you fall asleep, ok?” I nod and stay laying facing Austin. I run my fingers on his chest over his t-shirt. His eyes darken quickly, but as I look up into them, they soften back to their normal icy blue and he softly says, “Everything is gonna be ok, Anastasia. I got you, just go to sleep, baby.” I don’t have the energy to fight him on calling me baby, but I can feel my body react for a moment. I get so caught up in my thoughts…
He’s just a friend… but why is he calling me baby? Why did he rush here in the middle of the night? I was ignoring his texts and he came to me immediately when I called… Why is he looking at me like that? I just want to kiss him…
In order to stop from thinking so much and doing something I regret; I decide to open up to him. “I was out with some friends and my ex was at the same place,” I start to say quietly. Austin’s eyes look at me with such focus, like he isn’t just focused on what I’m saying, but how I’m saying it. “We broke up on pretty bad terms… at first, he was my everything. My first boyfriend and my first…well everything. Brandon started out great, but then he was a bit controlling and would lose his temper with me, but just get angry. Then he’d start grabbing me too hard or shoving me, but he’d always apologize like it was an accident,” I continue, and I look away from his eyes. “I remember the first time Brandon hit me, he apologized immediately. I thought I was done right away. But he was so apologetic I took him back a few days later. But then he just kept doing it. He’d hit me or shove me, apologize and we’d move on before he did it again. He started just demanding I stop going out with friends and I really never saw them for months. I had just turned 19 and he took everyone away from me,” I say as I look back up at him.
Austin’s eyes are locked on me, and I can see anger in them. He looks so hurt and I feel bad for unloading this on him. I think he can sense my thoughts as he says, “Anastasia, I’m so sorry. You don’t have to keep going if you don’t feel comfortable. I’m here for you, no matter what. You’re at home. You’re safe. I have you.” I look down from his eyes that are locked into mine and he reaches down and grabs my hand. I look back up at him and he quietly says, “I’m always going to make sure you feel safe. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to stop you from seeing him tonight.” I squeeze his hand and say, “I want you to know everything. It’s important.” He looks deep in my eyes, like he’s trying to get in my head to know what I’m thinking. He nods and I continue, “I was in class one day and ran into Kelsey, who immediately knew something was off. I didn’t look like myself, I was weak and just drained of any visible life, pale, thin and just no light in my eyes. It was summer, but I was wearing long sleeves and pants. She got it out of me that he was just hurting me, but she didn’t need to know anymore.”
I start to cry and Austin pulls me into him as he strokes my hair and says, “Anastasia, you’re so brave. You’re out of that time in your life and you’re so loved. You have everyone here for you and you’re safe.” I start to cry even harder. He barely knows me, but knows what I need to hear to be comforted… I bring myself to stop crying and continue, “I spent months living with Kelsey after she helped me just load up my stuff and never even say anything to Brandon other than ‘I’m leaving.’ I changed my number, stopped using social media and just learned to be myself again… My friend group, which was also his friend group, stopped hanging out with him. I really had a clean break from him once I regained my sense of self.”
Austin looks deep into my eyes as he pulls me out of our embrace and says, “I’m so happy you were able to do that for yourself. It’s why you so strong willed, you can really do anything you set your mind to. It’s why I like being around you so much. Anastasia, thank you for telling me.” He pulls me back into him and I grip my arms around him as we’re laying in my bed, on top of the covers and facing one another. I feel so much lighter after telling him all this; like he really knows the real me now. It’s ugly, but it’s what made me the person I am. “He’s the only person I’ve been with and just hearing him say things about me… just really affected me and I just had to come home,” I whisper, and I can feel his body tense up. Austin says, “Anastasia, don’t worry about anything he has to say. I’ve got you.”
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xo8ball · 1 year
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edit : previously raygirlboy
Introduction I guess ! wee
My name's Ray, Ryker or Freddy, you can also use Félix. I go by they/he and use any gendered nouns, sometimes I'm a princess. Don't like labels too much but im enby/trans aroace.
I'm into drawing, games and music. Like my chemical romance, fall out boy, gorillaz, and probably more. i like a lot of games, 8:11, ut/dr, faith, fnaf, omori, pokemon, off, whatever else. i also like some other things? like welcome home or some anime. just expect multifandom, mainly fob (im autistic 4 them basically. xo 8ball best moment in my life 5ever)
Check my art in the tag #my art or #my ocs, my thoughts in #what am i cooking. i do gayposting with the #qpp with my qpp, so hang there.
just dont be dumb and strange (as in pedos, terfs, radfems, trans exclusionist), im a teen. Also nsfw blogs dont follow ur cool on ur +18 side. im going to make jokes and that, but I'll tag anything if you need 2. be free to rb and chat with me, i bite :3
emergency patrick motivation beam when i feel sadders
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itbmojojoejo · 1 year
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💜POSITIVE WORDS GAME💜
Tag five moots that you admire, love, and adore - and type out why you love ‘em so much, too! Let's say a nice word or two about those in the fandom and genuinely spread some good vibes!
Tag five people when you're done💜Let's spread some good vibes!
I think some good love could be needed, so Mojo's going to do this.
@st-eve-barnes You my dear are a joy to see on my dash as well as a wonderful writer, I followed you in my early days of coming back to tumblr on my personal blog and an anon i sent you about doing my own writing led to the creation of itbmojojoejo - you are so so lovely.
@arcielee Ah my fellow screaming raccoon/opossum/human, you were one of the very first people to reach out to me and I am so glad you did, you have made this little corner of the internet a joy to be apart of and keep me going more than you realise, you have my whole heart xox
@gemini-mama You reeled me in with your devotion to our favourite fictional irishman and kept me with your unhinged comments and humour, you never fail to make me cackle. Also - Your NSFW alphabets? 🔥🔥🔥
@bhxrdy shamefully I cant even remember how we came to be moots, but you're brilliant! And your kindness at sharing resources and helping me out is truly wonderful and I'd be lost without your guidance 🦝<- I see this emoji, I think of you.
@babyblue711 You were the first person to comment on my very first fic and you told me that it wasn't trash and to keep on going, and that was a beautiful push (encouragement) that had me open up my word doc to write part 2, I will never forget that, thank you xox
@ewanmitchellcrumbs / @bouncehousedemons The amount of kindness and support you give has my heart full every time i see you in my notifs, you never fail to make me laugh with your posts across both blogs and your writing has me feral i could eat it. You're lovely xox
@finanhasmyheart You are a joy to see on my dash and in my notifs! Your tags always make me smile and you are so kind!
@ilikeitbetterangsty ...Ma'am, if i could write this in invisible ink (tags) I would, you have me cackle on a regular basis and you have made me thirst for Harwin, that was not an easy thing to do through writing alone.
@ryals3 I won't share what we discussed via dms, but know I still reread over it every now and again because it was so lovely for you to reach out with such kindness and encouragement and it meant a lot to me, so thank you xo (also I'm sorry that conversation died a death on my end, I am an awkward soul.)
Now I'm sure I have missed some people, PLEASE FORGIVE ME, it is not a slight in any way at all and uh if you think I have over used the word 'lovely' my brain is fried and all its doing is repeating "lovely, they so lovely!!" a bit like that bowling for soup song..she's so lovely, she's so lovely, SHE'S SO LOVELY!.
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thisdreamplace · 9 months
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Hi dream, it's 🩷 anon, how are you doing?
My life, the 3d, has been easier, I'm not going to school anymore, which means I can focus on myself. There's more time to manifest my desired life, and honestly, it's a decision. I decide everything based on my assumptions. It turns out that it's pretty easy to manifest because reality comes FROM ME, and not TO ME. I just need to be assertive in my power, I can do it!🩷
In my reality, the 4d, I've decided that I am completely perfect, right now. I'm focusing on my imagination 100%, because it's the only reality, and the outer world is merely a mirror. There's some resistance and negative feelings, but you know what? It doesn't matter. I created a routine to meditate and affirm in the morning, afternoon, and night. I discovered yesterday that although affirmations are kinda forgotten in the community, it works wonderfully for me! I can easily calm myself with affirmations and be completely fulfilled!🩷
I found a blog here, @etherealkissed88 🩷, and let me tell you something, it's one of the best blogs I've ever seen. Her name is Jani, and she helps me to be more assertive with my reality. Her posts are SO HELPFUL. You and her are angels sent to help me, and I am very grateful. Thank you to both of you for your posts, all the answered aks and overall for being on Tumblr, you guys are saving a girl's life. Thank you for everything!🩷🩷🩷🩷
Sadly, her asks aren't active, so I can't talk with her, I hope it's not a problem to tag her, if it is a problem tell me.
Anyways, I will just affirm, meditate, and persist to make the feelings of living my desired life normal, not to wait until the 3d changes. That was a problem, me waiting, but now I'm okay!
I hope you're okay and trust me, I WILL BE WRITING A SUCCESS STORY, I PROMISE🩷, byeee🩷
hello cutie <3 i'm doing v well !! thank u for asking
i'm glad that youre realizing that within urself and are moving forward in a way that feels best to you:)
its true, you are perfect right now. we all are, perfect and not needing to change anything to get to where we wanna be. it tends to be the hardest thing to realize but... its true. and im glad you can realize that for yourself now ! i agree affs are def nice, i get why theyre forgotten now bc of the way they were used and abused in the past lmfao buttttt they def are lil small things that can help us in our day to day life, theyve def helped me a lot
im glad you found a blog that helps you sm !! maybe itll help other people here too, so thank u for sharing it <3
i wish u luck on ur journey !! n to always remember its okay no matter what happens, u dont have to be any ideal of perfect other than what u are now. and trust me, i know you will !
xo
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lv-iceprince · 2 months
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@misatx-x
ello ello.
well my dear the time has finally come, thank you so so much for your consistent support for this blog, the interaction and for genuinely being a sense of comfort for me. i put a bit more extra time into this one, i wanted it to be just right xo
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~enhypen~ jay
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 Some believe true love is a thing, and though we can’t be certain of this we can be certain that Jay is in love with you. It’s a no brainer on his part, he swears he isn’t vain, but you speak to a deeper part of him as it is like looking in a mirror when he looks at you. Despite this he still sees through his own perceptions to see the beauty in everything you do, everything that you are and that alone. This is one of those instances where platonic comforts turned into wanting the occasional kiss on the lips. Somehow it all seemed to unfold like the prettiest flower in the world, love in its purest form, all this poetry is  my way of saying that it caught him off guard despite things falling into place with much ease.
Jay’s need to be around you comes from his joy in making you feel that little bit shyer than usual. It’s actually so cute when you really think about it, his love language relies on the subtleties of your relationship regardless of whether it is platonic or romantic. He does it in the sweetest, most wholesome ways ever, if your voice falters when his gaze is fixed on you, he will smile and hit you with the “come again?” line. It’s all in good fun, wait, it’s actually more than that, he wants to explore the deepest parts of your personality without getting all obnoxious or psychological about it. Jay is truly so gentle with you; his behaviour is second nature to him at this stage. You definitely wrote that off as Jay just being a nice likeable guy until you started dating him, the penny dropping when you realised that he doesn’t even bat an eye when Sunoo squeals out for help. You reveal domestic tendencies in him that are otherwise hidden, they are so well hidden that he didn’t even know he had them he just assumed that he had an appreciation for you and was being a standard guy. It’s then that you take the time to remind him that he is THE standard.
It doesn’t take a genius to figure this out, but Jay is actually so comfortable in your relationship, he has his excitable moments, but he has really come to appreciate just how reserved you are, which relates to the primarily cosy home lifestyle that both of you reenforce. You’re basically twinning with the whole default walking pace and while he does enjoy carnivals and laser tag he totally uses both as an excuse to flex how cool a boyfriend he is he still revels in the comforts that are having  heart to heart conversations with you or reading books in silence. If you yearn for something that’s that little bit more intimate and thrilling Jay won’t hesitate to grab his guitar and serenade you with those sweet acoustics. This is a sidenote but one that is so precious nonetheless. If you ever wanted to feel the music through your own hands, feeling the many love songs each note sings to you, Jay would lead your hands to the neck of his guitar, placing his hands atop yours he would guide you in playing your favourite song.
Jay was never one to see the world in high definition and in colour, but the day you gifted him with rose coloured glasses he swore he would never dare take them off. There are unusual circumstances surrounding you and Jay, the rose-coloured glasses he wears aren’t deceiving him, they’re actually allowing him to see everything beautiful that you are.
~txt~ beomgyu
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Hear me out. I get that the two of you are seemingly opposites but sometimes things don’t go quite to plan and you end up falling for someone who seems to bear little resemblance to you, and this is the case. The whole dynamic for you and Beomgyu is just that, yeah it happened, and it was a surprise to both of us, but it works, and I wouldn’t sacrifice it for the world. Being completely honest with yourself you expected to feel more inclined to date Taehyun or Soobin, which was why Beomgyu didn’t even try to woo you, he just knew that there was a fifty-fifty chance of you liking him or you didn’t. Such heavy thinking was unlike him especially while he sat next to you at the arcade spinning the wheel of his Mario Kart at a rapid speed. He wanted to beat all of you guys but each time he glanced off to the side he would see you and he couldn’t prevent his mind from wandering.
He didn’t tell you until your first date, but he likes a woman who is kind of reserved, you actually got a slight chuckle out of the fact that he was using Yeonjun and Taehyun to describe his perfect woman which was you. You were reserved and thought a lot more than the average person like Taehyun and you sometimes loved to be lazy and enjoy yourself like Yeonjun. All of his words were out of the goodness of his heart. He was fumbling to express how much he admired you.
Beomgyu may seem like he’s far too loud, extroverted and that bit chaotic, but he knows where to draw the line but beyond that he actually seeks people who can be his voice of reason. He doesn’t want you to feel like you have to take care of him, but he just appreciates the fact that you are so reserved and often see further into the future than he could at any given time. I’m not saying Beomgyu is a passenger princess who likes you taking control in most ways, I am saying that, but he still likes his decisions being questioned. Like if he wants to go out and you say, “Hey actually why don’t we stay inside and do *Insert relaxing activity*” Beomgyu will wear the most stunning grin because he has now gotten the rush he was seeking.
Most of your relationship is actually quite relaxed, honestly, it’s surprising that you got him to sit still for more than a few minutes. Beomgyu just likes being held by you and resting his head on your shoulder, letting his bangs tickle your neck. Despite this he has his ways when it comes to you, he gently holds your emotions in the palms of his hand when you decide to let it all out. Instead of going overboard and making you feel slightly more awkward for sharing your feelings Beomgyu listens and reminds you that while he loves a tough girlfriend you can both switch roles for at least one night.
In some ways Beomgyu is a fool in love and in times when he feels like his love is getting too much he is the first person to suggest that you go to a carnival and be spun around and flipped upside down, or partake in a game of laser tag so he can hunt you down like a crazed maniac and shoot you. In his eyes the laser tag gun is his cupid’s bow.  In many ways he chases the feeling of your relationship, even if it comes in the form of a monotonous answer there’s nothing more that he wants than to be struck down by bolts of electric love.
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