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Bad Day at Black Rock | Supernatural Series Rewrite | Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader
Warnings: panic attack/PTSD, recovering from a sexual assault (HEED THESE WARNINGS ESPECIALLY FOR THIS CHAPTER), canon violence, canon gore
Word Count: 6673
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“What?!” you exclaimed. “She’s a demon, and you didn’t gank her?!”
Sam had just finished telling you and Dean about this Ruby girl he’d met. 
“No, (Y/N), I mean, she seemed pretty helpful on the Seven Deadlies case.”
“Wait, she’s the blonde chick?!” you realized. “Why the fuck would a demon help me?”
“I don’t know,” Sam answered. “That’s what I’m trying to understand, too. And if she helped us then, I don’t see why I shouldn’t have at least listened to what she had to say.”
“Because ‘demon,’ that's why,” Dean snapped angrily. “I mean, the second you find out this Ruby chick is a demon, you go for the holy water! You don't chat!”
“No one was chatting, Dean,” Sam huffed.
“Oh yeah? Then why didn't you send her ass back to Hell?”
“Because she said she might be able to help us out!”
“With what, though, Sam,” you chimed in. “You’ve never said how she’s supposed to be able to help us. Or with what.”
“She told me she could help Dean,” Sam said quietly.
Dean seemed to not understand.
“With the crossroads deal, I’m assuming,” you told him.
Sam nodded.
The older brother looked at Sam incredulously. “What is wrong with you, huh? She's lying, you gotta know that, don't you? She knows what your weakness is; it's me.” Dean paused for a second. “What else did she say?”
Sam was quiet again.
You and Dean leaned in expectantly. “Dude?” the older brother questioned.
“Nothing. Nothing, Okay?!” Sam snapped. “Look, I'm not an idiot, guys. I'm not talking about trusting her, I'm talking about using her. I mean, we're at war, right? And we don't know jack about the enemy. We don't know where they are; we don't know what they're doing. I mean, hell, we don't know what they want. Now, this Ruby girl knows more than we will ever find out on our own. Now, yes, it's a risk, I know that, but we need to take it.”
“You're okay right, I mean you're feeling okay?” Dean asked.
Sam huffed. “Yes I'm fine. Why are you always asking me that?”
You looked between the two brothers when a phone began ringing. You checked your pockets; no buzzing. Sam and Dean’s phones weren’t ringing either. 
“Check the glove box, it's Dad's,” Dean suddenly realized.
“Dad’s?” Sam questioned.
“Yeah, I keep it charged up in case any of his old contacts call.”
‘Smart boy,’ you thought.
Sam opened the glove box and found the ringing phone. “Hello? Yes... this is Edgar Casey… No! No, no, no, don't – don't call the police, I'll handle this myself. Thanks. You know, can you just uh, can you just lock it back up for me? Great. Uhm, I- I uh, I don't have my - my book in front of me—” Sam gestured to you for a pen, which you quickly handed to him— “do you- do you have the address so I can... Sure, okay. Go ahead. Right, thanks a lot.” He then hung up and turned to Dean. “Dad ever tell you he kept a container at a storage place?”
“What?” Dean asked.
“Outside of Buffalo?”
The older brother shook his head. “No way.”
“Yeah. And someone just broke into it.”
***
“No demons allowed,” Sam noted upon entering his father’s storage container. A large Devil’s Trap was etched into the ground, and two sets of bloody footprints traveled right through it. 
“Check this out,” Dean said, stooping to hold up a tripwire. It was attached to a shotgun hidden in a large animal skull. 
“Whoever broke in here got tagged,” Sam said.
“I got two sets of boot treads here,” you announced, “looks like it was a two-man job. And Buckshot Boy looks like he kept walking.” You nodded toward the bloody footprint trail leading into the container.
“So, what's the deal?” Sam wondered aloud. “Dad would do work here or something?”
“Living the high life, as usual,” Dean quipped.
The three of you crept around John’s storage locker, and the two brothers chatted about how much of a mystery their father still was to them. You took in the varying types of clutter. To your surprise, the room was filled with old memorabilia; photo albums, a graduation cap and gown you assumed was Sam’s, and a few boxes whose contents were written on the outside of them in a woman’s handwriting you assumed belonged to Mary. 
You smiled at a trophy on a shelf nearby. “Check it out,” you said, picking it up and dusting it off. “Sam Winchester, 1995,” you read aloud, “Soccer Division Championship.”
Sam grinned and came over to you. “No way! I can't believe he kept this.”
“Yeah,” Dean smiled lopsidedly, “it was probably about the closest you ever came to being a boy.” He wandered over to another table with a shotgun laid on it. “Oh, wow! It's my first sawed-off. I made it myself. Sixth grade.” The older brother laughed and pumped the dusty shotgun.
“You made that?” you questioned.
“Not bad, eh?” he grinned excitedly.
“No, not at all,” you giggled. “Damn, dude.” You took the gun from him and inspected it, impressed with Dean’s craftsmanship. He smiled proudly at you.
“Guys, over here,” Sam said. You followed his voice over to a door to a back room. The chain on the door had been cut, and you cautiously made your way inside.
You waved your flashlight around the room to find varying weapons and lockboxes that no doubt held nasty supernatural objects.
“Holy crap. Look at this,” Dean called, “he had land mines. Which they didn't take. Or the guns. I guess they knew what they were after, huh?”
You took in the lockboxes on the shelf on the far wall. “This is binding magic,” you pointed out. “Curse boxes.”
“Curse boxes?” Dean questioned. “They're supposed to keep the evil mojo in, right? Kinda like the Pandora deal?”
Sam nodded. “Yeah, they're built to contain the power of the cursed object.”
“Well, Dad's journal did mention a whole bunch of stuff, y'know? Dangerous hexed items, fetishes. He never did say where they ended up,” Dean added.
“Must be his sulfur-sludge dump,” you joked. You noticed a rectangular-shaped hole in the dust that had settled over the shelf. “Well, they found what they were looking for.”
“Great,” Sam groaned.
“Well, maybe they didn't open it,” Dean suggested optimistically. 
“Cute thought, but I’m sure they did,” you replied flippantly. You looked around the exterior of the storage unit for anything that could be of use to you; footprints, tire tracks, and… aha! A security camera.
“That’s helpful,” you noted, pointing up at it. 
The boys helped you fish the SD card out of the security camera, and you hooked it up to your computer. 
“There, license plate,” you noted. “And now…” you pulled up an alternate tab and copied the license plate number into it. Immediately, pages began scrolling of places the license plate had been seen at. Most recently, an apartment not too far from you. 
“Ta-da,” you announced childishly, and the brothers looked at you in shock.
“Jesus, (Y/N), how’d you get access to all this?” Sam asked.
“Oh, y’know,” you smirked, trailing off. 
Sam looked at you expectantly. 
“Same way any hackers do,” you shrugged. “Had this guy on the hook for a bit when I was, maybe, twenty. Found out he was an FBI agent in the cyber unit— not the brightest of the bunch— and I phished his computer. Of course, as soon as I did, the computer broke and shut down. Told him I was good with computers and could fix it for him, and then, I cut and run. Fixed the laptop up and had access to everything he had access to. Exported it to my laptop, ditched his somewhere in Arizona, and here we are.”
“That is…” Dean trailed off, “incredibly hot.”
You rolled your eyes, suppressing a smile. 
“Get a room,” Sam mumbled, moving over to the Impala.
***
You and the Winchesters crept into the apartment belonging to the drivers of the stolen Connecticut vehicle, guns drawn. You could hear two men chattering about their poker game, and then you finally burst into the room on Dean’s nod.
“Freeze, freeze! Nobody move!” he commanded.
“He said don’t fucking move!” you ordered, pinning the bandaged, redheaded man to his seat with your gun.
“What is this?” the other man questioned.
“Stop!” Sam demanded. 
“Alright, give us the box. And please tell me that you didn't–”
Sam cut Dean off. “Oh, they did.”
“You opened it?!” Dean grunted. He shoved the dark-haired man against the wall.
“Are you guys cops?!” the man pinned wondered.
“What was in the box?” Dean questioned angrily.
You noticed a rabbit’s foot on the edge of the table. ‘Oh, fuck,’ you thought. 
“Oh, was that it, huh?” Dean laughed coldly. “It was, wasn't it? What is that thing?”
The man used Dean’s distraction to knock the gun out of his hand. When it fell to the floor, it fired, and you had to drop to the floor to avoid being hit in the face by the bullet.
The bullet ricocheted off the radiator and hit Sam’s gun, and he dropped it. The same bullet somehow ricocheted and hit a lamp, breaking it. You dove across the floor, trying to grab Sam’s gun, and the redheaded man pushed Sam down on top of you.
“The fuck, Sam?!”
“Sorry!”
You scrambled toward the redhead, and he backhanded you, somehow knocking you off balance and sending you to the floor. You normally wouldn’t have been so thrown off by such a simple move, but that rabbit’s foot was definitely working its magic. 
“Dean, I got it!” Sam announced. You turned around to see him holding the rabbit’s foot.
“Fuck, Sam, no!” you cried upon seeing him holding the cursed object.
The dark-haired man moved forward holding Dean’s favored gun and cocked it in his face. The man pulled the trigger in Sam’s face, but the gun jammed. 
‘Thank god.’
A quick scuffle ensued in which the two men opposing you had a bookshelf fall on them and a carpet got wrapped around their ankles and tripped them. Both men knocked themselves out, and Dean laughed triumphantly.
“That was a lucky break!”
“No, not lucky!” you shrieked. “Sam, that’s a rabbit’s foot!”
“Uh, yeah?” he said, as if it were obvious.
“Do you have any idea what you just did?” you panicked. 
“No, what are you—”
“I’m calling Bobby,” you said, storming out of the apartment and back to the Impala. 
“Whoa, whoa, why? I’m not seeing how this is a bad thing, (Y/N),” Dean countered, catching up to you. 
“Because that’s a rabbit’s foot, Dean! A cursed object! Its literal function is to bring bad luck,” you explained.
“How?” Sam asked. 
“Once you touch it, you’re marked. Luck’s gonna be on your side.”
“Better buy some lottery tickets then,” Dean chuckled excitedly.
You glared at him. “But if you lose it, you’re fucked. It’ll keep bringing you bad luck till it eventually kills you.”
“Well, I just won’t lose it, then,” Sam tried. 
“Everybody loses it, Sam! That’s the whole point!”
The two boys looked slightly shaken; Sam more so than Dean. Dean was laughing all the way to the bank on this one, and he dragged you and Sam to a gas station to get lottery scratch-off tickets. Then, he drove you to a restaurant chain location called Biggerson’s for some dinner. 
You sat on the phone with Bobby, the two of you angrily muttering about the insanity of the situation to each other.
“Gotta say, kid,” Bobby started, “was hoping the next time I heard from ya, it’d be on happier terms than this.”
“Trust me, me too,” you sighed. “Do you know of anything that can stop this?”
“I’ll dig around—”
Bobby’s voice in your ear was cut off by Dean triumphantly exclaiming, “twelve-hundred dollars! You just won twelve-hundred dollars!”
You grimaced and put the phone back to your ear.
“I’m guessing Sam’s luck’s still good,” Bobby drawled.
“For now, but I don’t know for how much longer.” You got out of the car, suddenly feeling suffocated in the Impala. You paced around, as did Sam, and you watched as he walked over to something glistening under a newspaper on the ground. 
“I’ll figure somethin’ out. Lemme look through my library and make some calls,” Bobby said. “Call me if anything else goes to shit.”
You laughed, and Sam stood up holding a golden watch. He turned to Dean who stood next to you and mouthed something like, “Awesome,” to his brother.
“Will do,” you told the older man on the phone. “Hurry, Bobby.” You hung up as Dean calculated the winnings from the scratch-off tickets he made Sam fill out.
“Oh, man!” Dean grinned. “We’re up fifteen grand!”
You and Sam half-smiled, both feeling unsettled still.
Dean continued to laugh as he walked into the restaurant with you hot on his heels. 
“In case you forgot, Dean, we’re still technically fugitives,” you hissed. “If Sam’s luck goes to hell, we could be royally fucked.”
“Don't worry,” Dean said easily. “Bobby 'll find a way to break it. Until then I say we hit Vegas, pull a little Rain Man. Sam can be Rain Man.”
“Look, we just lay low until Bobby calls back, okay?” Sam whispered. He turned to the man behind the host stand. “Hi, uh, table for three, please.”
The man’s face broke out into a grin, and he hollered, “Congratulations!” An alarm began to sound through the restaurant.
“It's exciting, I know,” Dean quipped.
“You are the one millionth guest of the Biggerson's Restaurant family!” the man announced. 
The staff surrounding you began singing and taking photographs while they shoved a giant check into your hands. Balloons fell from the ceiling, and you and Sam would’ve rathered been anywhere else. Dean was ecstatic, though, which you were happy to see. You’d suffer tremendous embarrassment fifty times over just to see him smile. That thought scared you a little bit; how you'd do anything for him. You had a tendency to be an extremist.
You were escorted to your table, and a gorgeous waitress in what was clearly a black bob wig approached your table. 
Her coy smile was alluring, but something about her wasn’t sitting right with you. Still, nothing seemed off through the rest of the meal. Sam clacked away on his laptop rattling off bits of lore he was reading on rabbit’s foot Hoodoo magic while you and Dean shared a bowl of ice cream. 
“I think from now on, we only go to places with Biggerson's,” Dean commented. 
The waitress came back over to your table with a pot of coffee and grinned at Sam. “Can I freshen you up?”
Sam nodded. “Thanks.”
The waitress poured, still smiling, and spilled some in her flirtatious stupor. “Oh!” she exclaimed. “Let me mop up here. Sorry about that.” She hurriedly cleaned her mess and left the table, appearing to flirt with Sam over her shoulder even as she left.
“Dude. If you were ever gonna get lucky…” Dean trailed off.
Sam smirked. “Shut up.”
You smacked Dean’s shoulder. “I’m right here.”
Sam went to pick up his coffee, but he knocked the cup over and spilled it all over himself. Before you could process what was going on, he jumped out of his seat and into a waiter with a full tray. Things went flying through the air as Sam rushed profuse apologies. 
“Sam, check your pockets,” you said evenly. 
He did, and his hands came up empty.
“Son of a bitch,” Dean growled.
You and the brothers threw a wad of cash on the table and raced into the parking lot after the waitress. You noticed the black bob wig ditched on the ground a few feet from the door. “I knew it was a wig!”
“What?” Sam asked, turning around to you. He immediately tripped and fell flat on his face. 
“Wow! You suck!” Dean laughed, turning back to a groaning Sam.
“Ow,” the younger brother whined while you helped him up. His knees were bloody and raw through his ripped jeans.
“So what, now your luck turns bad?” Dean questioned.
“Yeah, Dean, I believe I’ve said that,” you remarked, and he glared at you. 
“Well, how bad does it get, genius?” 
“Really bad. C’mon,” you urged. 
“Where we goin’?” Sam asked.
“Back to the two jackwads that got us into this mess,” you said, hopping in the driver’s seat. 
“Whoa, who said you could drive?” Dean questioned.
“Me. Don’t be a child,” you said. 
***
You broke into the apartment once again to find the brunet man sadly downing a bottle of tequila. 
“Oh, man. What do you want?” the man asked.
“Heard about your friend. That's bad luck,” Dean tsked, referring to the death of the redheaded thief. 
“Piss off,” the man spat.
“We know someone hired you to steal the rabbit's foot. A woman,” Dean continued.
“Oh yeah? How do you know that?”
“Because she just stole it back from us.”
The man laughed. 
Sam stepped forward. “Listen man, this is seri—” and then he fell to the floor mid-sentence, pulling a CD player and a shelf down on top of him. 
You turned back to help the younger brother up. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m good,” he said, smiling awkwardly in thanks for your help. 
“I want you to tell us her name,” the older Winchester continued to the man. 
“Fuck you,” was the only response he got.
“It wasn't a freak accident that killed your partner,” you tried, coming out from behind the couch.
“What?”
“C’mon, don’t tell me you haven’t been thinkin’ it. I thought you’d be smarter than that,” you challenged. That seemed to get under the man’s skin, so you continued. “That series of unfortunate events that had to happen to kill your partner— like, had you not seen it with your own eyes, you wouldn’t have believed it— that was the rabbit’s foot. If you don’t help us stop this thing, those deaths are on you, my friend.”
The man in front of you looked worried. 
“And I gotta tell you, it doesn’t seem you’re cut out for the whole killin’ thing. You don’t wanna be a killer, do you?” you continued to press.
The man shook his head, and his voice dropped to a whisper. “No.”
***
You left the apartment repeating the woman’s last name over and over in your head. The man told you “Lugosi” was the only name he and his partner were given when they were hired. 
You took out your phone and called Bobby. 
“Hey, (Y/N), glad you called,” you heard the man say. 
“Hey, we got a situation here—”
“I found a heavyweight cleansing ritual that should do the trick,” Bobby continued. 
“That’s awesome, thank you, but uh…” you trailed off, trying to decide how to phrase your next words. You decided not to sugarcoat it in the end. “Sam lost the foot.”
“He what?!”
“I know, I know,” you sighed. You turned back around to see Sam and Dean trying to use a broken storm grate to get gum off the bottom of Sam’s shoe. You shook your head at their faces when they noticed you; seeming like two little kids caught with their hands in the candy bowl. You returned your focus to your phone call. “Listen, you know anybody by the name ‘Lugosi’? Maybe mid 20’s, super hot, my height—”
“Aw, crap. It’s probably Bela,” Bobby said. 
“ Bela Lugosi? That’s cute, but never heard of her,” you replied.
“Bela Talbot’s her real name,” the older man continued. “Crossed paths with her once or twice.”
“How the hell would she know John had the rabbit’s foot? She a hunter?” you questioned.
“Pretty fuckin’ far from a Hunter, but she knows her way around the territory. She's been out of the country,” Bobby explained. “Last I heard, she was in the Middle East someplace.”
“Well, she’s back!” you mock-cheered, exasperated.
“Which means seriously bad luck for you,” the older man added.
“Thanks for the encouragement,” you quipped.
“Well, kid, if it is Bela, at least I might know some folks who know where to find her,” he finished. 
“Thanks, Bobby. For everything.”
“Just… look out for those two idjits.” And with that, he hung up the phone.
You sighed and turned back around to see Dean reaching through the storm drain and Sam looking dejected. 
“What happened?” you asked.
“I lost my shoe,” the brunet replied sadly. 
Your eyebrows furrowed sympathetically, and Sam’s head hung low. Dean seemed annoyed and huffed, standing up from the floor. 
“C’mon,” the older brother asserted.
***
Bobby did actually have a pretty good lead on Bela; she apparently lived in Queens about two hours away. 
“So what are we doing here?” Sam questioned, referencing the motel you’d just gotten a room at. 
“You, my brother, are staying here 'cause I don't want your bad luck getting us killed,” Dean stated. “And (Y/N), you’re staying with him.”
“What?! Why?” you protested. 
“Because Sam actually listens to you when you tell him not to do something. And you’re way more responsible than me,” Dean shrugged simply.
“Fair point,” you sighed. “Knowing you, you’ll touch the stupid rabbit’s foot, though.”
“Pfft, c’mon, it’s me we’re talking about—”
“That’s what I’m worried about,” you dryly stated.
Dean glared at you playfully as he walked Sam into a motel room. You followed close behind and peeked out the door to make sure you weren’t followed. 
“What am I even supposed to do, Dean?” Sam whined.
“Nothing! Nothing. Come here. I don't want you doing anything. I want you to sit right here—” the older brother pulled a chair into the middle of the room— “and don't move, okay? Don't turn on the light, don't turn off the light. Don't even scratch your nose.” Dean turned to you. “If I’m not back by midnight, take off.”
“What, you gonna turn into a pumpkin or something?” you snickered.
“(Y/N), I’m serious.”
“Since when?”
“(Y/N)—”
“Okay, okay, fine, I heard you.”
Dean smirked down at you and kissed your forehead. “I’ll be back,” he said.
You watched him leave, a bit of your heart tugging at being anywhere without him. Your feelings for him were certainly growing stronger, and it frightened you how constantly you needed to be near him. 
You turned back to see Sam wrinkle his nose a few times before finally risking a scratch at it. 
“Hey! None of that,” you said. 
Sam’s sad eyes turned to yours. “This fuckin’ sucks, man,” he sighed.
“I know it does. Kinda the whole point of the rabbit’s foot curse,” you commented.
He ignored your smart remark.
“Found anything on how to break Dean’s deal?” you asked.
Sam shook his head. “No. Did find out something interesting, though.”
“What?’ you asked.
“All my mom’s old contacts? All her old friends, the nurse who delivered me— they’re all dead,” he explained.
“What?!” you shrieked. “And you didn’t think to mention this before now?!”
“Shh, keep your voice down,” Sam said. “Didn’t wanna say anything in front of Dean; he’d go berserk.”
“You know I have to tell him, right?” You crossed your arms over your chest.
“No, no! Please don’t,” he begged. “Please. You know he’d flip. And, uh, probably more because of the way I got that information than the information itself.”
“What do you mean?” you asked.
“Ruby told me.”
“Oh, god.” You rolled your eyes and dropped your head back. 
“C’mon, (Y/N), I mean, I called, and it all checks out. It’s got something to do with me and the demon; I know you recognize that pattern,” Sam tried.
“I do, but I don’t like being constantly stuck in the middle of you and Dean,” you said. “I’m supposed to be Switzerland, remember?”
“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean Switzerland didn’t have information on the two sides, she just didn’t pick one,” he shrugged.
“Sam,” you warned, “You know how I feel about keeping things from Dean.”
“I know, I know, but you wouldn’t necessarily be keeping it from him, you’d be…” he trailed off, trying to think of a way to phrase his next words, “fulfilling a promise to me.”
“But I didn’t promise anything,” you argued.
“Please promise me you won’t tell Dean. Not till I’m ready,” Sam begged.
“Sam!”
“(Y/N/N), c’mon. Please, man. Please.”
You stared at Sam for a prolonged moment; you stared intensely and Sam looked up at you with puppy-dog eyes from his chair. You sighed and dropped your head forward. “Fine. But you are gonna promise me that you’ll tell Dean eventually. That’s my one condition.”
Sam nodded. “Deal.”
You shook your head and sat down on the edge of the bed next to Sam’s chair. “You Winchesters and your secrets.”
“Oh, like you don’t have any,” Sam deadpanned.
You looked up at the television and saw the reflection of your guard uniform and scratched-up face staring back at you. You took in a sharp breath and let it out slowly. “Touché.” You paused for a moment. “Sam?”
“Hmm?”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“What are you gonna do when—” you cut yourself off, tears beginning to well in your throat. You took a deep breath to push them down. “When Dean’s gone?” 
Sam shook his head. “(Y/N), no. He’s not gonna—”
“Sam,” you said. “We are trying everything we can. We’re two months into this thing and no closer to saving him than we were on day one. I stopped looking. Not ‘cause I don’t care anymore, but because I’m not gonna send you to Hell just so Dean can live. I mean, Bobby’s been lookin’, too! And he hasn’t found a damn thing. So I just think we have to be real with ourselves.”
Sam shook his head, tears in his eyes.
“I don’t wanna lose him,” you said, putting your hand on Sam’s knee to make him look at you and beginning to cry, too. “I don’t. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. But… I’m scared, man. When I lost my family…” you closed your eyes at the memory of some of the awful things you’d done and would never forgive yourself for, “I don’t wanna do that again. And… And I just think that if we kept huntin’ together, we could keep tabs on each other. Make sure the other doesn’t go rogue, y’know?”
“I can’t believe you’re just gonna give up on him like that,” Sam spat, disappointed. 
“I’m not!” you argued. “But I’m not gonna help you kill yourself, dammit! Dean would never forgive me. I would never forgive myself!”
“Look, we’ve got ten months left. We’ll find something,” Sam continued. 
“I hope you’re right, man. I really do,” you said.  
Neither of you said anything for the next few hours.
During that time, you took out your journal and wrote. You didn’t usually keep journals when you were done with them as your duffel bag would be filled to the brim with them by now, but you were definitely going to keep this one; especially after Dean was gone. 
It was somewhat poetic that the first day you met the boys was the first time you’d written in this particular journal. Its pages were filled with your, at first, disdainful musings about the older Winchester brother and slowly but surely became your attempts at discerning your feelings for him.
You liked to buy quite thick and large journals to have enough room for your drawings and to be able to continue writing in them for months and occasionally years. This was the longest you’d been able to stretch one, though, and you were a little over three-fourths through writing in it. 
“I can’t help but wonder what comes next after all this,” you wrote, the pen gliding easily against the page in time with your racing thoughts. “I’ve always been awful about ‘futurecasting’ as Dad called it, but it’s even worse now. Every second I’m with Dean, I can’t help but think about how this is all gonna be over in less than a year. And it’s awful. I wanna be present with him. I just can’t. I don’t want there to be an end to us. I don’t even know if we are anything! He can’t even tell me he loves me.
“And I get it to some extent. ‘I love you’s are hard for him. Fine. I just wish he’d figure out some way to communicate with me that isn’t sex. I mean, the sex is great, but. I don’t know. And just after everything that happened, I’m not feeling great about having sex anyway. And I know it’s upsetting him, even if he won’t say anything; he’d never pressure me, and I know that. And I’m getting better about sex and related things. But it just sucks.
“And I don’t wanna bring any of this up with him and start fights because, as I’m painfully aware, that deadline is getting closer and closer every day. I just want him to be happy with me while he still can be.”
You dropped your pen when the air conditioning unit next to you began to smoke. 
“Oh come on, I- I didn't- I wasn't—” Sam whined.
“Just stay put,” you said. You jerked back in surprise when the unit suddenly caught fire. You grabbed the comforter from the bed next to you and began to put the fire out with it. Thankfully, the fire stopped. 
“I’m gonna see if I can get someone to fix that for us before your luck kills us both with carbon monoxide poisoning,” you said, starting toward the door. 
Suddenly, the door to the motel room burst open. However, it wasn’t Dean who opened it. It was two men. You drew your gun and cocked it, trained on the two men. “Get the fuck out,” you ordered. 
“I don’t think so,” said the older-looking man. He almost reminded you of Willem Dafoe, and you mentally pegged that as his name. The other man with a bizarre-looking mustache charged you, and you fired. Somehow, the bullet missed its target despite him being in such close range. 
“What the hell, Sam?!” you exclaimed. “Your luck’s rubbin’ off on me!”
“Sorry!” he winced.
The man charging you tried to restrain you in a headlock, but you kicked him squarely between the legs. You jutted your elbow back into his nose simultaneously, and the man dropped you. 
Unfortunately for you, though, Sam had been trying to help you by taking on Willem Dafoe. You turned around to see Sam unable to land a punch on the other man’s face. You tried to help him, but Sam ended up punching you across the face, and you were knocked out cold.
***
When you woke up, your arms were bound behind your back, and your legs were taped together as well. The men had laid you on your stomach, and you immediately began to struggle and panic, feeling your current position was too similar to the one you’d been in with the guard. 
“Dean! Help me!” you wailed without thinking. Your body was in autopilot as you struggled, and you couldn’t even focus on the men in the room. 
“Quit whinin’,” the man with the mustache told you. 
You could barely hear him over the roaring in your ears. “Dean!”
“I said shut up!” the man in front of you roared, slapping you across the face.
You couldn’t, though, continuing to flail like a fish out of water.
“Creedy,” the other man said, turning away from Sam and to his accomplice, “shut her up, please.”
“With pleasure.” The man took a rag out of his shirt and shoved it in your mouth, your muffled cries coming out around it. 
You vaguely heard Willem Dafoe beating the crap out of Sam while he talked about his mission from “god” to kill Sam. Then, the man drew his gun. His partner was unsettled, too, as you strained harder to get out of your binds. 
Suddenly, your saving grace appeared in the doorway. “Dean!” you cried through the gag in your mouth. 
Willem Dafoe turned around and aimed the gun point-blank at Sam’s forehead. 
“Nope. No destiny,” Dean said coolly referring to the man’s earlier comment about god and destiny leading them to Sam. “Just a rabbit's foot.”
“Put the gun down, son, or you're gonna be scraping brain off the wall,” the man replied, his tone ice cold.
Dean waved his Taurus around. “Oh, this thing?”
“Yeah, that thing,” look-alike-Dafoe responded. 
“Okay.” Dean put his gun down on the nightstand beside him, looking smug. “But you see, there's something about me that you don't know.” Dean smoothly picked up a pen off the nightstand beside the gun. 
“Yeah? What would that be?”
“It’s my lucky day,” Dean grinned. He tossed the pen toward Willem Dafoe, and it lodged in the barrel of the gun. ““Oh my God, did you see that shot?!” 
Forgetting all about your current situation, you started yelling through the gag, “You fucking touched it? You fucking idiot!” But all that came out was a muffled garbling of words. 
The man named Creedy lunged at Dean, but missed his punch completely. The man ended up running straight into the wall, and Dafoe was busying himself trying to dislodge the pen from the barrel of his gun. 
“I'm amazing,” Dean said smugly. He picked up the television remote and threw it hard at Dafoe. It hit the man square between the eyes, knocking him out cold. 
“I’m Batman,” you heard Dean suavely state, but you were too busy returning your focus to getting your binds undone. Now that the immediate danger was over, your body went back into panic mode. You yelped when you suddenly felt a hand on your back and fought even harder. 
“Hey, hey!” Dean coaxed. “It’s just me.” He saw you weren’t listening, and he immediately set to work cutting the duct tape binding your legs and wrists. Your hands shakily yanked out the rag in your mouth. Only then did you realize Dean was the one in front of you, and you leapt into his arms. 
He caught you easily, one hand around the underside of your back and the other around the topside your legs. You curled up into him and buried your face in his neck. 
“Whoa, hey, it’s okay,” Dean tried, but your shaking wouldn’t stop. You could feel your sobs slowly subside, but it took quite a while of Dean holding you for you to regain your composure. He pressed kisses into the side of your hair while he held you and tried to soothe you by telling you you were safe. 
You finally uncurled your legs from around Dean and let him put you down. 
Sam came up behind you to place a comforting hand on your shoulder. “You okay?” he asked. 
You nodded as you sniffled. 
“What happened?” Sam asked in that very unique-to-him soft voice. 
“I dunno,” you lied. 
Dean gave you a look that let you know he’d be asking more questions later. 
“C’mon, we gotta get the hell outta here,” you said, wiping your eyes with the back of your hand. You could feel the boys giving you questioning looks as you gathered up yours and the boys’ things and stalked out to the car. 
*** “Alright,” Sam began, sprinkling cayenne pepper into the embers of a small fire you and the Winchesters had started in the middle of a cemetery. “Bone ash, cayenne pepper, that should do it.”
“One second…” Dean said absentmindedly, scratching off the last of his lottery tickets. 
“Dean—” Sam complained. 
“Hey, back off, Jinx. I’m bringing home the bacon,” Dean quipped. He stashed the cards in his jacket that he’d slung over a gravestone. “Alright, say goodbye, wascally wabbit.” He dangled the rabbit’s foot over the top of the fire. 
“Hey!” you shouted, whipping out your gun at the sound of a twig cracking. You aimed it at the sound, and Bela emerged from the darkness with hers drawn as well. 
“I think you'll find that belongs to me,” she said firmly. “Or, you know, whatever. Put the foot down, honey.”
“Oh, hell no,” you said, cocking your gun. 
Bela cut her eyes at you, shooting Sam in the shoulder.
You exclaimed, “What the—!” and Dean cursed, “Son of a—” as Sam collapsed to the ground. 
“Back off, tiger,” Bela told you. “Back off! You make one more move, and I’ll pull the trigger. You’ve got the luck, Dean. You, I can’t hit. But your brother? Him, I can’t miss.”
“What the hell is wrong with you?!” the older brother roared. “You don't just go around shooting people like that!”
The woman rolled her eyes. “Relax. It's a shoulder hit; I can aim. Besides, who here hasn't shot a few people? Put the rabbit's foot on the ground now.”
“Alright!” Dean mollified. “Alright. Take it easy.” He moved to drop the rabbit’s foot, but instead, he threw it at Bela. “Think fast,” he smirked. 
Bela caught the foot and immediately realized what she’d done. “Damn!”
“Now, what do you say we destroy that ugly-ass piece of dead thing?” Dean smiled in satisfaction. 
Bela sighed, aggravated. She dropped her arm and uncocked her gun, but you kept yours aimed at her as she moved over to the fire. 
“Would you stop pointing that at me?” her smooth voice came without looking at you. 
“Sorry, love. Don’t trust you,” you smiled in fake-politeness. 
She rolled her eyes and moved back to the fire. She dropped the foot into the fire. “Thanks very much,” Bela continued. “I'm out one and a half million, and on the bad side of a very powerful, fairly psychotic buyer.” 
“Wow. I really don't feel bad about that. Sam?” Dean turned to his brother.
“Nope. Not even a little.”
Bela’s gaze hardened. “Hmm. Maybe next time, I'll hang you out to dry.” She turned around and moved toward the gravestone where Dean’s jacket laid. You knew exactly what she was doing. 
“Have a nice night, girls,” Bela smirked. 
You glared at her. “Uh, uh! Turn around!” you ordered. 
“What?” she sighed, clearly annoyed. 
“Gimme the tickets,” you commanded.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she replied. 
“Yeah, you do. You can’t con me, angel.”
She grumbled angrily but took the stolen tickets out of her pocket and threw them to the ground. 
“Thanks a million,” you called after her. 
“You’re fuckin’ awesome, woman,” Dean admired, you assumed in reference to the tickets you noticed Bela stole. He came over to you and kissed you boldly. You giggled against his lips, and he held your waist firmly. 
Sam cleared his throat. “Hey! Bleeding out, here!” 
You broke away from Dean. “Oh, sorry!” you grimaced, moving to head back to the Impala. “C’mon, I’ll get you patched up.”
When you ensured the rabbit’s foot was burnt to a crisp, you and the Winchesters moved to the car. 
“You good?” Dean asked his brother. 
“I’ll live,” he responded. 
“I guess we're back to normal now, huh? No good luck, no bad luck. And we're up forty-six thousand.” Dean threw his arm around your shoulder and kissed your temple, waving the tickets around in the air. 
“Maybe we should hit Vegas, see how good our luck still is,” you suggested, smiling lopsidedly. 
“I like the way you think,” Dean nodded. “Whaddaya say, Sammy?”
“I think you guys are gonna end up blowing all our money on slot machines,” the younger brother dryly commented. 
“Ye of little faith,” you said. “If not Vegas, we can at least get ourselves a nicer motel room. Maybe we can graduate to hotels!”
“Ooh, yeah. One of those hotels with a jacuzzi tub.”
“Hell yeah—”
“Guys,” Sam groaned. “Still bleeding out, here.”
Series Rewrite Taglist: @polireader @brightlilith @atcamillanorrman @jrizzelle @insomnia-bookworm @procrastination20 @mrs-liebgott @djs8891 @tiggytaylor @staple-your-mouth @jesstherebel @rach5ive @strawberrykiwisdogog @bruhidkjustwannaread @mxltifxnd0m @sunshine-on-marz @big-ol-boat @mgchaser @capncrankle @chervbs @simpingdeadcharacters @nesnejwritings @stillhere197 @tearsforhan @take-it-on-the-run @iloveyou2mia @maxinehufflepuffprincess @ohgeehowdigethere @seninjakitey @berarenado @s0urw00lf @princessleahorgana @quarterhorse19 @isla-finke-blog @silverdoragon @karacaroldanvers @gayandfairycore @examishbookwyrm @star-yawnznn @real-sharena-h @fandomloverrr @metalmonki @onlyangel-444 @yu-winchester @benniwiththefanni @daisychaingirl @immagods @missmieux @yoongi-holland @littledebbieinabigworld
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pinacoladamatata · 2 months
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blink and you'll miss it moments around skyhold....
#solavellan#solas#gotta put out some tender stuff to balance the chaos target team leader solas has caused.#look i just need to go feral in the tags for a moment#okay the fucking. what's he call himself? the great adversary of her people's mythology....falls in love w a woman being forced into a role#not unlike his own#i t makes me c r a z y#like at one point he's all ooooh we're elves need to make sure the humans trust us to ensure safety. gives them a castle......#then he's all ''ooh you cant change the way your legend is getting out of hand. might as well accept it''#but he disapproves if you lean into it/call yourself the herald.#he approves of you fighting against the status quo. encourages sera to sow chaos and has a VERY interesting convo w her about power#''what lop of the top?'' ''yes.'' ''well what's that do except make room for a new top to come and fuck it all up?''#at which point he fuckin STUTTERS and is like. oh fuck. you're right. my bad. and then he shuts up in quiet contemplation#he's clearly wrestling w himself. and Ohmygod the felassanstuff.#like the Guilt. the Regret.#haunting that fucking rotunda.#and yet he's so in love w lavellan if they go that route.#like clearly some stuff was missing/fumbled in game. but like#how he fuckin screams for the inquisitor at the well?????!?! OK BOI?!#im just. the dread wolf. great adversary of the dalish pantheon.#turns out to be some somber grim guy with a fatalistic sense of humor who hates tea and greatly values free will#pina art
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Was inspired by this post and made my first ever zine!! Ignore the crochet hook, that's because I needed both hands to take the photos and didn't have anything else to hold the zine flat.
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jakeperalta · 1 year
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spent weeks psyching myself up to stand up to my mum and then immediately got shot down by her 😃👍
#vent incoming i apologise in advance for the long tags#we've lived together just the two of us since dec 2021 (although her boyfriend is here like 2/3 of the time as well)#and since i got my job in march 2022 i have been paying half of all the bills (literally down to like tv license when i barely watch the tv)#which is £300 a month#plus i buy all my own food + pay for the amazon prime she uses + contribute to various household things like toilet roll etc#and she doesn't have a mortgage so i am paying the same amount as her to live in her house#(and it is very much her house not our house)#and I've never been very happy with any of that but never complained either#but then recently it turned out she never set up the water bill when we moved in (it's one of the only bills i didn't sort for us)#so we have a huge backdated bill from dec 2021 and i knew she was going to tell me to pay half#so for the past month or so I've been preparing myself for this conversation and sure enough today she came and said 'we owe £700'#so i was like 'oh i thought maybe it would've been covered by my £300/month' which is the biggest stand I've been able to work myself up to#and she immediately started going on about how i live here too and use water too so it's just as much my responsibility to pay#and how when we're both earning i should be paying my share and i was like yeah i know that's why i never complained about paying before#but also i already pay more than most people would to live with their parents#and she went off about how actually most people charge their grown up kids rent on top of the bills so really i'm lucky i don't have to#(when she got the original £300 figure it was actually rounded up from like £240 to include 'rent' but i wasn't gonna bring that up now)#and in conclusion she doesn't see why she should be subsidising my bills#like i don't know maybe because you're my MOTHER and i am your CHILD who is just starting out in the adult world#and maybe that entitles me to being treated better than some lodger???!!!!!#anyway i paid the bill and now i'm trying and failing at not crying at my desk 😃#talking
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shadeswift99 · 2 years
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I may or may not have only watched 10 minutes of Cleo’s episode so far but the cockers Clockers are already my favourite team
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keeps-ache · 5 months
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little soup cans are some of the neatest things we have, wish there were more soup-can-like things in this world
#just me hi#though canopeners need to stop being deadly weapons to some degree before that hfhs#'they're not deadly tho ?' well usually yes. but did you know that they can age Badly? i did not!#and the one I was using was dulled to an extent that it would Skip over a part of the can#(nearly the same spot every time lol) and when I thought I'd managed to fool it and had only#the tiniest bit of metal between me and some beans (pretty sure it was beans) I thought#'ohh I'll just pull up the can lid :)' Well the lid snapped off completely towards and Into my hand#and I had a bean-can wound on my pinky for about a week or so. I do not know how long it's been lol#//but soup cans are pretty cool I feel like they're kinda underappreciated !!#you can just have Soup ? Whenever ??? and it's Normal !! wow :D#sure making soup is pretty great. but that's a process man. and we're not even associates#[<- 'a process I am (not) intimate with']#like there is a little can of menudo in the pantry rn - medunito they call it isn't that just !! - and it's just there. it can be made in#like 10 minutes. is this Not the best thing ever ! ?#//I've also gotta figure out this sleeping thing that I've got going on (everybody has it going on)#I was maybe half a week into actually have a consistent thing going but the night I stopped was bc I am a sucker of a storyteller and we#were up til about. I think 4-6 a.m.#that's on me yes. my siblings vs. my desire to tell stories and rubber willpower hfbdh#a deadly match truly#and also I lost my snoopy watch (RIP snoopy watch you will be missed (I can't find it send help Waough)) and that was the only clock I had#in this room so now if I wanna know the time I have to go the living room - which is like a whole dang thing lemme tell you about it#/first I've gotta get up - easiest thing by far - and get to the door - assuming I don't get KO'd by my siblings' belongings on the floor -#get to the door. the door Is broken to some extent. opening it means a loud THDPD noise is sent throughout the entire house lol. and you#have to yank on the thing to get it open - so double effort there - and then you step out into the hallwayish area where you can then enter#the living room - oh so easy! but No! you then have to either turn on the kitchen lights and wake everyone with their door open or sleeping#in the living room for whatever reason Orrr you have to clamber over chairs pots perhaps a cat if you've got real bad luck that night to ge#up nice n personal to the clock so you can read the dang thing and see it's 11:23. which is like nothing so you stay up Anyway and do not#check the clock again because not only was that a hassle but also you released every creature that was in the room with you (that's a lot o#noise). but Yea the clock situation is ongoing hfbsh#'why don't you get a clock' that would be much too easy loll :) (last one disappeared and we keep forgetting lol) //ran out of tag space so
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allsassnoclass · 3 months
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I was tagged by @4thbrighteststar for this funky tag game!
Pick four of your favorite characters from four pieces of media and let your tumblr people decide which one most suits your vibe.
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tagging if you want: @clumsyclifford, @igarbagecannoteven, @ijustdontlikepeople, @chamaleonsoul
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imagine-nerd · 4 months
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The fucking disconnect is so real.
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#theo's thoughts#Story time for the people who love reading tags bc I love sharing things in the tags#So I work at a therapeutic day school and this past school year like four school days before Thanksgiving break I was asked a question#The question was if I would be willing to step up and be a long term sub in a middle school classroom#To me this was less of a question and more of a hey we need someone to do this and you're who the assistant teacher asked for#Which cool yeah fine I'll give it a go I really like that person (the assistant teacher who asked for me) and I trust her judgement on this#I was asked and accepted on Thursday. Friday‚ Monday‚ and Tuesday happen. Then three day Thanksgiving break#When we got back from break I was the teacher and it was rough at first and it sure as hell was never easy but I enjoyed it#My formal teacher observation was my boss basically going like so I see you doing all the things and the basis is there#But it's not being followed through on because of behaviors from the most unmedicated classroom I've seen in all my years working education#And now for the summer they're changing 2/3 staff that were in the room and who even knows who the teacher will be (a new hire? Maybe?)#If there truly is a new hire coming in (fed to the wolves immediately btw what a dick move) but that new hire will be the fourth teacher#These kids have had in a year? A year and a half max. The fourth. After the only thing I've been repeatedly told by admin for months#Is that we need to be stable and consistent because we may be these kids' only reliable source of that consistency and stability?#So you're going to have me come in and tell me I've done such a great job and then tell me you're moving me to 'give me a break'#Trauma informed care my fucking ass. I hope those kids raise fucking hell over it.#The brutal satisfaction of watching your own crops burn and knowing that the invaders will starve is great and all but these are kids!#They're barely just about to be teenagers (11 at the youngest and 14 at the oldest) and this is what you're going to do to them?#Yes they can be complete assholes and are often dicks to one another but they're in our school for a fucking reason? I don't get it.#Then two hours later after being told abt the change‚ the clinical director puts me as one of the three main recipients in an email#Saying that there's going to be a new student starting in that room in the summer and the real icing on the cake?#This all happens on last day before summer break. we're out of session for two weeks now and you're just dropping these changes on us now?#God I'm so fucking tired
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finexbright · 2 years
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gonna take a minute to rant about just how much i love louis and his care for fans and how he's always trying to do things in the most affordable, convenient way possible. getting his tickets was one of the most smooth, seamless experiences i ever had. love how his first tour was a bit smaller and now that he's doing larger arenas, the pricing hasn't changed a bit. he's taken so much care and consideration into curating his brand and making it accessible and you can see the genuine thought process that goes into it because louis isn't just putting music and tours out and calling it a day. he's examining every little aspect of it and making sure that at the end of the day everything is as fair as possible. i know we can say it's the bare minimum, but to me at least it isn't. because it takes a lot of planning and organising to be able to pull this off, but it also takes a lot of investment time and money wise. and i honestly commend him for being one of the only artists in the industry who's not only to bring change but also who's putting a damn good fight and being a very good example of what an artist could be and how relaxing and beneficial an artist - fan relationship can be
#i will further rant in the tags#regarding pricing i don't think there was any ticket that went beyond £60 and that's a huge feat tbh#and even the ones that went that high were for bigger venues which makes sense#i am NOT comparing anything but just for example sake because this is the only one i have#harry's doing a 20k capacity venue and his ticket prices are £70-120#and that's not including platinum or pods. with that it goes as high as £500#and louis' doing a 20k venue for £35-60#the fact that he's literally treating ticketmaster like a secondary option says a lot#gigs and tours seems very indie and on brand for louis' tickets and honestly it worked because it was literally so easy#and it didn't make you go through a thousand hoops for it#and because he didn't change his pricing much even when he went from venues with 3500 capacity to 20k+ capacity#you know that he's barely making any profit off of it#he might make a bit more than break even point#and his merch pricing given the quality seems very reasonable to me#there are artists out there selling tees for £100#you can see he really LISTENS to the fans and sees what we're talking about it and tries to make it easy for us to access things#like i'm pretty sure he knew about ticketmasters bastard ways and that's why he said a big fuck you to them#man i just really really really love him#he has such an affectionate relationship with his fans#and he's willing to fight for us#like not in a mushy way#but we KNOW how many times he's been sabotaged and YET he comes in blazing#and do you know what though. in a way all the opening acts he's had or artists he's endorsed WILL follow the same path as him#we already saw otp fighting for fair ticket pricing#and that's what matters#a whole new wave of artists are gonna look at him and be like ''man i wanna be as fair as him'' and fight for change#in the horrid music industry and i'm here for it#fitf is gonna be an album that'll put louis further on the map and there's literally gonna be no stopping him after that#he'll literally be a revolutionary and i'm so glad i get to be in his corner to see it happen#i know parasocial relationship and whatever and i'm putting too many expectations/hopes/projections on him or whatever
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unproduciblesmackdown · 6 months
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shifted gears like alright after the [lucifer the mysteries please] centered approach that found mostly Other Stuff, centering [blade gunnblade please], and already have found something new but in the "possibly inaccurate & probably irrelevant even if otherwise" vein as a review read through the wayback machine says: "perhaps none moreso than the gun toting android Blade Gunblade, perfectly embodied by Asia Kate Dillon. They even get an awesome heart-wrenching backstory." which is so far the singular mention that blade gunnblade is an android, however, reviewers can Just Say Things, so. i believe the blade gunnblade full backstory clip that's available is from pre 2015's run at the pit, & rather a previous run as serials at the flea (and the prop & setpiece differences if it was simply an alex seife understudy performance from 2015 would be: inexplicable) but i have to imagine that blade's peak tragic backstory ft. murdered wife & child would be very similar, & i guess it would be funny if they were just out & about living their ordinary life with a family like that while also an android, but. however i'll also give them that: mentioned a bit more often is that at least at some point kapow-i Becomes part android / referred to as a cyborg, thanks to the same character as in 2015 & prior's tragic backstory. i don't think this fun fact is like super constantly relevant or obvious, so i Could imagine something along the lines of blade getting the same treatment & it also not being particularly more relevant. or else the proximity of such concepts like "kapow-i's a cyborg, the serials run clip seems to refer to like 'we need this specific rando who is now blade to be injected with Ultimate Fighter elixir (& have their family killed. because) & people's whose bodies couldn't handle it are now kind of like funny little robots (cybernetically automated but with some personality)" & like blade we need you to be a fighting machine was thus sort of conflated lol. but maybe they're a cyborg like i think it happens a lot anyways
#blade gunnblade#difficulties: going okay not sure there's as comprehensive a cast list anywhere as the mysteries' program being available#which also wasn't fully comprehensive!#however there is plenty of overlap b/w the mysteries cast & the the pit kapow-i gogo marathon cast#thus some more recent blade gunnblade finds stemming from Looking For Lucifer#and also i have already done some [afaik cast member who Wasn't in both] rifling around for blade material so#but there's still some more digging to do. some [fb &/or ig accounts now deleted or privated] to press f for. got any pics#some ''damn someone who took some relevant production pics was ig tagged but their profile doesn't have their actual name#and also only has like 8 pics & they're all selfies like who are you''#both productions having More production pics out there i knowwww please....i want to See#also shoutout to another archived review's mention of a green strobelight & cowboy bebop's rain.mp3 used in a scene#''for devastating effect'' or impact re: the 2015 run like ya that was the blade gunnblade Devastation we have crucial 8 sec clip of....#filed away as a Maybe. but i don't imagine it would actually really affect things very much at all either way so#finally we understand mafee taylor's bestie like i always knew you were a killbot cyborg sicko....all for a coy lil blade gunnblade ref (:#pausing partway through this post like this can all be briefer....it Could be but i'm writing it. read my posts boy or don't#hmm for example this review also lists a director as ''joel stern'' which i'm 95% sure refers actually to joel soren so#but then also many other names are cited more accurately. yet still the one error there. that's where we're at#kapow-i gogo#asia kate dillon#perfectly embodied by! So true
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neverendingford · 10 months
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#so I have officially been to a club/bar now#tag talk#it was a country bar which was actually cool cause they played like. actual old country none of the post-9/11 shit#except everything else about it was ugh awful. music too loud drinks FUCKING EXPENSIVE holy shit stay home and drink instead pleaseeee#it was a work thing but none of my coworkers I'm friends with actually knew what they were doing so while I wasn't actual awkward they were#and the thing about social interaction is that if no one knows what they're doing it's not very fun#I grabbed someone and started a pool game because the table was open and both of us were absolute garbage at the game#but I was laughing about it and they were like... apologetic about being bad?? d#I did have the classic experience though where your friends disappear and you end up alone because you don't know where they went#all in all an interesting experience but not one I'm eager to repeat.#I did get invited to someone's Christmas Eve Party though which is cool and they gave me their number to make sure I have the info#so probably worth going just for that I think. got their phone number so we can communicate so that's like. successful social connection.#we're already friendly at work but easier to talk to someone when you're both not busy on the opposite side of the store with customers#anyway. who tf out going to clubs. awful environment.#I was like.. twenty percent of the way to being comfortable going out and dancing but hard to just swallow your hesitation#and a) alcohol as liquid courage is hmm not ideal and b) it was expensive anyway#oh well. it'll take more time to come out of my shell and I'd literally never been to a bar/club before in my life.#so I'll have some patience with myself and not be annoyed with how I could have done better or been more confident.#literally totally new environment. also... country music was nice but not a group of people I could really be comfortable around yaknow?#Lotta old white straight couples dancing the country two-step so I didn't really feel like I fit in.#anyway. interesting experience. neat to have. if I ever have a reason to go to a bar again I'll know more about what to expect#also... no one carded me. no one asked for ID? aren't they supposed to#oh wait. comment about the yodeling cause it was actual old country but they didn't do the voice register changes for it#I was like WAIT ARE THEY GONNA YODEL FOR REAL??? but then he didn't he just jumped intervals without shifting voice.#was a little disappointing but maybe a lot to expect from a random stage show at a bar.#wait wait I'm also proud of myself because the bartender asked open or closed and my mind scrambled for half a second to figure it out#but then I realized it meant open tab or closed tab like ordering more drinks and then paying at the end and so obviously closed#cause I ain't buying more than the one drink holy fuck it was so expensive also they mix them way stronger than I like#I like my drink weak ass and pathetic. alcohol is like spice I like a little to taste but not a lot. complimentary not overpowering#I drank it and then remembered I never ate lunch so I was like fuck and immediately went and ate something (work party so free food)
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tblueger · 2 years
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people on twt are like. so genuinely mad about tyson being put on waivers (esp when they think rossi should be sent down instead) and my thing is just that. we weren't using him right. right? like he was good in the pre-season and when he's allowed to exist in a scoring role rather than a checking one, which dean isn't giving him (because, despite the state of our team generally at the moment, scoring forwards aren't supposed to be where our issues are) so waiving him/sending him somewhere else will at least give him the chance to get that? you know? he could go somewhere where he (a) gets to play consistently and (b) plays to his own strengths rather than what people keep deciding he should be doing.
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Vriska Serket from Homestuck is a compulsive liar 🧡
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[Image ID: screenshot of Vriska from Homestuck, with grey skin, long black hair, orange horns, and fangs. One eye is yellow, the other is covered by an eye patch. Her lips and the cuts on her face and neck are blue.]
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iri-desky · 7 months
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GET KOSA TRENDING.
STOP SCROLLING NOW!
AS OF FEBRUARY 21ST, 2024, WE GOT FIVE DAYS UNTIL THE DAY OF DECISION OF THE KOSA BILL, WHICH WILL CAUSE MASS CENSORSHIP ROUND THE INTERNET IF PASSED. WE NEED EVERYONE TO KNOW ABOUT THIS AND CONTRIBUTE. I'M NOT GIVING UP ON YOU ALL.
(IMPORTANT UPDATE: Kosa will not necessarily pass on the 26th. It only has the support to pass in Senate, and we STILL HAVE TIME. That being said, time is of the essence.)
WE'RE DOWN TO THE WIRE BUT WE CAN'T GIVE UP YET. IF WE GIVE UP, EVERYTHING IS OVER. IF WE DON'T, AT LEAST WE HAVE A CHANCE.
I'M THE ONE WHO SOUNDED THE ALARM, AND I'M NOT GOING TO CURL UP AND DIE YET.
Reblog this post in every LEGAL way you can under the Tumblr guidelines with the appropriate tags. TELL AND TAG EVERYONE YOU KNOW, then add the tags to see below... and more if you can think of any complying.
Visit badinternetbills.com if you want to find a way to defeat KOSA. It WILL NOT take much of your time. Reblog with any other information or sources, too-- but make sure to reblog if you can.
Reblog if you support lgbtq+ content.
Reblog if you support questioning queer youth and/or abused youth getting the information they need.
Reblog if you support Ao3 and/or other sites that wholeheartedly preserve talentedly made media.
Reblog if you're going to repost this on other sites than Tumblr and spread the word across Twitter, Tik Tok, Pinterest, or elsewhere, alongside the link to badinternetbills.com.
Reblog if you think KOSA is unfair and shouldn't be anyone's problem -- including the adults ALL OVER THE DAMN EARTH forced to face the mass censorship it causes because "think of the American Children!".
Reblog if you support internet activism and Palestine.
Reblog if you hate fascism or censorship, and don't want actually serious and helpful conversations censored on the internet.
Reblog if you value the internet in any way at all whatsoever.
CHECK THIS PETITION, TOO! https://www.change.org/p/stop-the-kosa?recruiter=1331807538&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=sms&utm_campaign=psf_combo_share_initial&utm_term=psf&recruited_by_id=57368c40-d0fd-11ee-98f7-2175430f819f&share_bandit_exp=initial-36809664-en-US
(Also, please reblog with at least "stop kosa" as a tag and not "kosa". I made the mistake of not adding just "kosa" as a tag...)
We won't let this stand any longer. Let's start a riot and get this trending.
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toytulini · 5 months
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lightly defending Toshiro while also fully understanding Laois frustrations. as a bitch who let teachers call me the wrong name all through high school cos it was kinda funny
#toy txt post#i knew it wasnt their fault they just dealt with So Many Names and i couldve corrected them and i used to#but the thing is that it just kept happening w so many teachers??#so i was like fine whatever idc that much. but also they did usually remember my name if there was someone in the class who actually#had the wrong name they usually called me. i think bc it would stick in their heads more since they had to differentiate so instead of#looking at me and going [letter] name......[common name starting with that letter that isnt mine]#theyd look at me and go [letter name].....but theres 2 names in that class with that letter and theyre different and this one is Not the#easy more common one. [gets name correct]#what really would throw me is when theyd try a DIFFERENT but i think still more common name with the same letter and then lile#like*. sorry bud im not used to that one i cant help u there#my favorite was the print production teacher who USUALLY GOT MY NAME RIGHT (i think smaller class size helped?)#who called me the more common one that im not used to and then stared at me in puzzlement and he was like#why did i do that. thats not your name. and i was just like lmao idk bro#anyway. this has been a really annoying way to discuss this event without actually revealing my name but#its not quite a deadname now but like. as far as yall are concerned im Toy. if you know me irl you almost certainly know it tho#and if youve been following me long enough you could probably know it cos i was less careful about it when i was younger#if youre like burningly curious and we're mutuals u can dm me ig and ill tell u just dont call me that lol#oh if u have me on fb u know it for sure unless u forgot and you see me (rare and unlikely on fb) nd youre like who the fuck is that#it probably wouldnt be hard to guess even. but whatever. if u feel the need to guess (why) just do me a favor and do it via#dm or ask or smth lmao#ALSO: uhhh i try not to tag this anymore cos it feels like its not coming across the way its intended and it has a weird vibe to tag these#days but i feel like this post could use the 'Im a white person this experience im referencing is with a layer of white privilege#and i understand that for many ppl of color or ppl with non english names this happens and its less funny#altho i think due to the vastness of human experience there are probably ppl with non english names who have this happen but it doesnt#affect them strongly and they just laugh it off and part of me wonders how much of that has to do with how much you LIKE and Identify with#your given name WHICH i ALSO recognize can be a more nuanced experience for someone with a non english name thats like#got cultural significance ETC. okay THERE. the annoying disclaimer that pisses everyone off bc everyone HATES disclaimers now.#just imagine. i could be writing these disclaimers for a FICTIONAL ROMANCE BOOK IVE WRITTEN. and wouldnt#that piss you off more? new disclaimer to piss you off more: i understand this is my personal blog and im not obligated to provide a#fuck i was gonna do another disclaimer as a bit but i ran out of tags! fuck okay bye. youll have to make up the joke disclaimer
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keeps-ache · 5 months
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mm i Neeed to go the beach
#just me hi#wauhuhh !#something about just drifting around in water that i am slightly scared of that really makes my brain whir happily lol :>#i am slightly scared of it for two major reasons: 1) fish. lord the fish why are they so scary 2) sometimes i think i'll drown and they jus#won't find the body. which is less rational than the fish so that's why fish is my number 1 fear at all times lmao#/i think out of all the animals on the planet i am the most scared of ordinary fish. not even the deep sea stuff hfbshv#cuz look they're so far down there you Have to assume they look funked. and also they prolly don't like human meat. so it's cool#but regular fish?? some of them eat birds. they eat birds dude. what would they do to me if they knew how to use harpoons??#also they for SURE eat corpses so we loop back to fear no. 2 really just being fear no. 1 hbfhs#/see i'm not even that scared of the animals my parents are determined on exploding. like man if i get eaten that was prolly bound#to happen anyway. i Know how that goes. i know what mauling is lol#i am the only person in this house who will walk around outside on a moonless light w/ no flashlight because if i was sposed to be dead i#can guaranteE there are much better opportunities. funnier ones‚ too#/just looked it up bobcats are SHY little guys. they are just shy babies. except for when they have rabies :)#shy rabies babies <3#/anyway back to the fish. i don't like how there are some that specifically like to eat human skin. mmm no i have never liked that ever not#one little bit. makes my skin crawl hghfsh#i don't care what it does or can do that is NOT cool lil dude ;w;#/hang on i'm googling 'weirdest things fish eat' because i want to scare myself i guess hbfhvbsf :'3#they're only showing me weird fish!!! no !! tell me about a fish that's living exclusively off of plastics!! or car tires !! come on !!!#these guys are just funky looking. and just Kinda funky looking. though this humphead guy is funny lol :)#he looks scary but with a charm that i can't deny#his forehead. and mouf. this guy is awesome#and of course he's endangered because the world is exploding. but it's so cool he exists :D#//anyway fish are scary. and miss humphead is Huge so goofiness aside he's also scary hhfbvs#also why do some of those motherfunkers swim close to shore and bite at you. those guys suck so bad#that's only happened to me so many times but enough for me to have a fear that has lasted for over half a decade lmao#//and anywho i'm running out of tag space lol :)#we're going ot the park!! i'm going to skate :DD !!#i wanna get good at my old stuff again hfsh - so bye! bye !! toodles !!!
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