#[ Lovesong for a Vampire ]

[loverboybrightsideghost]

sam reid stop having such a beautiful fucking voice holy fuck you're making lestat being attractive make sense to me

[lunatic-fandom-space]

My first time experiencing tanz der vampire was me watching the incredibly crunchy 1997 proshot late in the evening when I had school the next day and I was getting so tired my eyes were watering and also the version of the proshot I found inexplicably had sections out of order. like the first act was normal I think but then the second act had all the songs all jumbled up and it was really confusing. so because of that I didnt know until now that during die unstillbare gier Alfred and the professor were apparently just standing there listening to von krolocks dramatic solo. what do you think was going through their heads during that last verse

[zoetic-tome]

A Return, An Ultimatum

Characters: Nathaniel, Simon (@thedarknesssings), Sebastian (@roses-and-grimoires), Rafael (@houserosaire), Aamir (@gorgagne-viperidae) Content Warning: Mention of suicidal thoughts.

Nathaniel stared down at his phone, his eyes reading the message once. And then again.

It was a warning. "Stay away from him.  You're being watched.  Try it again and we start tearing the pretty building blocks down.  They'll all be dead, but you."

He could feel his hands tremble in the fine wrought anger that rippled through him. Others would have lost. He agreed to this world so that those who didn't deserve that loss would have at least the chance with those who they cared for. Rafael and Liam. Sebastian and Esra. To keep Marcel alive; his sire and his friend.

He could feel the heavy weight of Simon's signet ring on his finger, and felt the prick of something at the edges of his eyes. Tears? No. He wouldn't let them fall.

Something inside him snapped, breaking like a ships tether coming loose from its mooring. How much had they sacrificed? How far had they gone? Across a torn world where he was finally, for a brief moment, able to tell Simon how he felt.

Across an ocean to watch him sink into the deeps. Into space where he had to watch and learn of everyone else spending their love and passion alike on the man he had come to develop such deep feeling for. Who told him, painfully, that he wasn’t his type.

Who, at the very end, he ripped the throat from to try and buy them time to get the gem and make things right

He hated all they had been through no more in all of their travels that he did right now. Right at this moment. They had been promised their world. And this paradise was lacking in so many ways. But it gave others opportunities. It was supposed to give them to him, as well.

And yet here he was. Standing in front of a club he wanted nothing more than to storm back into, to confess to Simon and take his face in his hands and he could do nothing. And now, now, they were threatening him.

Stay away from Simon, or else.

His fingers tapped angrily at the keys, words unrestrained in their fury. He couldn't express all he wanted to in such a short message. Some part of him, deep and buried, churned violently. Alert and furious, though he didn't know where this deep anger swelled from.

"I have sacrificed enough.  I will surrender nothing else, and if you think I will, you don't know me well enough to be issuing threats, ultimatums, or anything else."

But would he? Would he sacrifice nothing? What's worse, would he make the others give up what they had and what they wanted? No. They deserved their chances and their opportunities. And Simon... would they kill him to keep Nathaniel away from him?

Simon had approached him in the beginning. Opened the door for him to invite himself to his bedroom. That was all it was ever supposed to be, and he was the fool who let it become more. Had Simon ever even loved him? Or was this a selfish, one-sided feeling that he was in pursuit of? 

He hurled his phone, watching it shatter against the side of the club, before he turned, striding on long footfalls towards his bookshop. He couldn't ask the others to make sacrifices just for him to pursue this one-sided love into the madness that it promised him. It wasn't fair.

He made it as far as the bookshop when Sebastian grabbed him up around the waist. He glared up at the other man, intent to try and grip his mind. To order him from the bookshop.

'Let me burn down all of my ambition by my own hand, alone. And let me burn out these feelings along with it so I can pray that I’m the only target.’ He willed. But he had trained Sebastian in his craft too well, and their minds were equal. His expression was bitter, as Sebastian asked him what had happened. What was he going to do.

He leaned up, and murmured into Sebastian's ear. In the vague hope that it would spur the other man into letting him go.

"Imagine if they told you that they would kill all of us unless you agreed to never see Esra again. What would you do? What would you give up to make certain there was no leverage over you?" 

Wouldn’t he also want to grieve the thing that he was promised and was then ripped from his fingers? Hadn’t they chosen this very reality for them so that who he wants was still alive?

He knew that he had struck a blow when Sebastian let him go. He listened, with vague interest, to the back and forth between Aamir and Raf. The interjections. Aamir arguing that he should be able to burn down the bookshop if he wanted. Rafael saying that this was not paradise if it was so easily torn down.

He recalled, vaguely, asking for Sebastian's phone. And he typed out a message and sent it. And then immediately his hand hovered over the delete key, and he undid the message. Deleted it as if it had never been sent.

Paradise was never paradise if it was so easily torn asunder. If they had the power to kill them all, no matter what Nathaniel did or didn't do, then his actions were irrelevant. All of it was ultimately irrelevant. This was not the first time they had been faced with the unknown threatening them. 

Was he willing to watch the entire world burn around him to get back to Simon? The Simon Frost of the past had known him. Had threatened to tear Aamir into pieces for hurting him. With no context. Why? Just a signet ring alone wouldn’t have been enough to make him believe he was that important. 

This world's Nathaniel, had he endured the same experiences? Lived the same life? He had been the sole survivor of his coterie so far as he knew? (Before Aamir's survival had been realized, of course). Had he been through the hells that they had? Had he struggled with a feeling that he couldn't control, a love that he knew might end him?

Had he been willing to damn entire worlds for the mere chance to get home to someone who didn’t even seem to feel the same way about him? Laughter, unbidden, swelled up in Nathaniel’s chest, swallowed down as readily as everything else that he might have said. 

In the end, he was quiet as he handed Sebastian back his phone. The fight in him gone. No, not gone. Merely as dead as the man himself. Vampires were an accepted class. His was no longer a species hidden in shadow, but proudly living their eternity. 

The painful truth of his reality had become ridiculously simple to Nathaniel as they had hurtled across dimensions,  time and space to get back to their home; eternity no longer mattered to him without Simon Frost. His gaze moved to his companions, and there was an apology in the shroud of his eyes.

His message to the individual threatening him had been a lie. A pretty, angry lie, but still a lie.

He would play along as needed. Get his coterie to relax their guards. He didn’t need much time at all to see what would happen. He would continue trying to either seek Simon, or make himself available for the elder to come to him. And if the answer he didn’t get was satisfactory if it became apparent that he really had lost all he had fought so hard for, unable to keep both his friends and his love?

He would prepare the ritual that he knew he needed, to ensure that he could awaken before his unbeating heart would allow him. Some wanted to see the sunrise as their final moments, perhaps. But not him. 

Nathaniel wanted his last sight to be a sunset. 

[hoxooster]

Hey, guys, if you missed the official OVK stream, no worries! You can still earn the cosmetics that’re dropping for Halloween! Just watch a participating, drops enabled stream, and you’re good to go!

The glasses unlock after 20 minutes, then each of the suits will unlock after an hour--as in the gloves, mask, and suit all unlock together. I was surprised to see it work like that.

🦇🎃Happy Halloween, everyone!🎃🦇

[he-goes-down]

MASTERLIST 🫶

REQUESTS: OPEN

Very slow request finishing as school is starting up and tests are hectic

might take ages cus i procrastinate

English aint my first language

I go by what im feeling that day for writing requests sorry.

I ALSO NEVER EDIT FOR SHIT

Fics:

There Was A Time - GNR

Something Stupid - GNR-shortstory

Estranged - GNR - fantasy -an idea

Shit posts:

Guns ‘n Poese - GNR - might be made in like 2 years time

Gnr mermaids - guide on how to do it - on hiatus for about maybe 2 years max

Requests:

Over 40 😥requests in the making (some not shown here cus im lazy)

Chosen by spin the wheel

Smut

Angst

Fluff

Although I mostly do smuts as they’re easier to write

Will:

- male reader cus im one too

- threesomes, foresomes, whole ass country (jokes)

- harder things like bondage ect

Wont:

- dont do ships just cus they aren’t my thing

Axl Rose:

Human Nature

Speedin’ Back To My Baby

Please - in drafts

Big Man With A Gun - in drafts

Wichita Lineman - in drafts

Thriller - in drafts

My Kinda Lover - in drafts

Burning Heart - in drafts

Slash:

Love Lies

Cant Fight This Feeling - in drafts

Underwear -in drafts

Give me Love - in drafts

Gimmie More - in drafts

Highway Tune - in drafts

Duff Mckagan:

Turbo Lover

Break On Through

Tenderness

Need you tonight - in drafts

Within you - in drafts

Sunspots - in drafts

Black Velvet - in drafts

Water - in drafts

Slither - in drafts

S&M - in drafts

Cum On Feel The Noize - in drafts

Crazy in Love - in drafts

For Crying Out Loud - in drafts

Izzy Stradlin:

Photograph

Too funky

Run to you - in drafts

Come On Now Inside - in drafts

Big Love - in drafts

Hot For Teacher - in drafts

Girls on film - in drafts

Hard to get away I’m sorry/ get away - makes me wanna die inside from sadness so might take time

Steven Adler:

End Of The Night

Addicted To Love

Obsession

Excitable - in drafts

Out Of Touch - in drafts

Bad Medicine - in drafts

(I Just) Died In Your Arms- in drafts

Multiple:

DuffxrxIzzy:

Wild Child

Pretty Tied Up (wild child pt2) -in drafts

My Best Friend’s Girl - (Turbo Lover pt2) in drafts

DuffxrxSlash:

Our Last Summer

IzzyxrxSteven:

Sweet Surrender - in drafts

Allxr:

In The Still Of The Night - stumped

Do You Wanna Touch Me (Oh Yeah) - in drafts

Fantasy:

V! - vampire W! - werewolf

Blood That Moves The Body -V!IzzyxrxW!Slash

Lullaby - V!Izzy

The Walk - V!Axl

-in drafts

Lovesong -V!Steven

-in drafts

Crossover:

IzzyxrxJulianCasablancas:

Reptile

IzzyxrxDaveMustaine:

Rock You Like A Hurricane - in drafts

Others:

Warren DeMartini - Dancing On Glass

Julian Casablancas - Relax - tryna get thru the gnr ones

Jon Bon Jovi x r x Tom Keifer - Shake Me - in drafts

[alexging]

hii! can you write headcanons on how would sean diaz act around their goth s/o👀 ? have a great day btw!!

sean x goth/alt reader hcs!

thank u for requesting :). i tried my best, i myself am not goth and hope i did not write too stereotypically 😭 im aware not all goths have piercings/tattoos or do makeup a certain way so sorry if this is vague!! maybe alternative in general was the better tag…

- i feel sean would have already known the difference between alt subcultures way before meeting you. he’s definitely a breath of fresh air because you don’t have to explain anything to him. in fact, he’d probably indulge in some goth music! the cure and the velvet underground more specifically.

- lovesong and just like heaven is ur guys’ SHITTTTT

- sean stares in awe when you do goth makeup. he stares like no other and he’ll always be impress by any sharp contour/eyeliner you do. you ask him if you can do it on him and he gets nervous and says no 😭.

- he’d be slightly influenced into getting a piercing with you! i feel he’s a septum guy… or hear me out BRIDGE PIERCING!!!

- sean says “so cool” under his breath to literally anything you do that expresses yourself in any way at all.

- daniel is just as interested in your whole style. when sean brings you over, daniel just ogles and asks you question upon question. he’ll ask you to do the same makeup on him but for his superhero purposes LMAO.

- when meeting esteban, he’d ask similar questions:

- “so… what’s with the vampire get-up?”

- “dad… stop…”

- sean gets so embarrassed and he apologizes profusely. you probably don’t care as much as sean thinks you do 😭 he takes that shit serious!!

- getting black/dark wine lipstick all over him… esteban also has something to say about that.

- sean does your photoshoots when you’re all dressed up and he loves it. he’s a little nerd—sketches all your cool outfits.

- not only that, but he also sketches potential matching tattoo ideas for the two of you. they all pertain to your style/subculture.

- goes to shows with you! to be entirely honest, he’d probably be so awkward in the beginning. he’s not used to gothic dances—more so dancing in general. he gets the hang of it eventually and finds it so fun… he’ll shyly ask if he can tag along next time too LMAO.

- going to vintage stores and buying little romantic/gothic jewelry 2gether… sean is decked out in rings

just letting u all know i see ur rqs.. and i SWEAR i am getting to them. ive been in a rut cuz of senior year and whatnot but ill be getting back up on my feet for all my writing projects!!

[desmorotu]

vincent’s playlist 🫧 (a glimpse)

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒

☆ as the world falls down - david bowie (at the Summit, if Lovely was revealed to Vincent instead of greeting guests with him, this would have been the song that played while they made their way to him. just like in the Labyrinth, this song gives that mystical, romantic feel. he’d stare in awe, mouth agape until he swallows thickly or until Sam comes up to close it for him LMAO. he’d chuckle in disbelief, looking deeply into their eyes with his kohl-lined ones and stuttering his words. he’d lick his glossy lips and trace his gaze down. “ex-fucking-scuse me? you look incredible, Lovely.”)

☆ square hammer - ghost (loves the intro, the lyric cadence, the sound of papa’s voice, and especially the thought of seeing it live. he was more of a rocker kind of guy growing up, always adorning band tees and silver chains of some kind. the year he was turned, in fact, was when he was the most into the style part of the subculture. after he turned he had decided to keep most of his piercings, including his triple lobe, helix, eyebrow, and nose ones. he fears that taking them out will heal them immediately because of his power, even if he knows it’s not technically true. he keeps this kind of music near and dear to his heart.)

☆ lovesong - the cure (loves driving to this song. whether it’s sunshine, rain, clear skies or cloudy, this song has to play at least once. he puts on his sunglasses and bobs his head to the beat, glancing over at Lovely often and smiling to himself when they’re doing the same. he plays it when they’re at home doing chores too, having a mini dance party for themselves. they go out to goth clubs often for the same atmosphere and to get new songs on their lists.)

☆ kiss me until my lips fall off - lebanon hanover (loves the bass. he sways his whole body if he chooses to dance, raising his hands above his head and “plucking cobwebs.” he likes reciting the lyrics to Lovely as a silly way to ask for kisses. loves the drums and the deep tone of the vocals, humming it to himself even if he’s not much of a singer.)

(suggestive/sexual annotation below)

☆ not my type: dead as fuck 2 - motionless in white (“she loves me ‘cause i like to give head like a zombie—eat! eat! eat!—‘til her insides are on me” …those lyrics low key [high key] turn him on and they burn a fiery heat into his chest. as a man with an oral fixation on both the giving and receiving end, the thought of his lover being so desperate to have their mouth on him sends his thoughts into a carnal frenzy. simultaneously, the lyrics make him want to grab Lovely, throw them on any flat surface, and let the lyrics speak for themselves. he always has his mouth on them, whether he’s kissing their neck + shoulders, back, hands, arms, chest, stomach, thighs—anywhere they’ll allow him, really. there’s rarely a time where Lovely doesn’t have hickeys, but it’s not always in a sexual light. he just likes to have his mouth on them.)

☆ dive in - pierce the veil (this song strikes a chord in his heart for a reason he can’t explain; perhaps it’s the piano mixed in with the intense guitar and drums? perhaps it’s because the song goes too fast for him to focus on his thoughts? he plays this in his headphones on full blast when he needs to pay attention to anything other than his mind. his favorite part is the octave jump and the beat drop near the end!)

☆ props and mayhem - pierce the veil (he doesn’t branch out too much when it comes to music, so a lot of his playlist is just ptv. he loves the lyrics and finds solace in them, despite how vic fuentes probably does not understand that he wrote lyrics relatable to a vampire and his supernatural culture. the song strangely reminds him of his last few years as a human. when this song plays, he thinks about the stranger from the Surge line. he hopes they’re peaceful.)

(slightly suggestive annotation below)

☆ god complex - violent vira (when he listens to this song, his movements instinctively get more sensual and calculated. it’s not intentional, but the slow feeling of the music brings him to be a more captivating “predator.” sultry eyes, wet lips, and smooth touches often bring Lovely to a state of “aroused confusion,” as they call it. it’s like a switch; as soon as the song’s off, he goes back to normal. in most cases, however, the song ends long before Lovely is done with him. if vincent had a sex playlist, he’d think of adding this song.)

☆ love gun - kiss (SAM SHOWED HIM THIS SONG!! he absolutely loves the sick ass bass line and the cool lyrics. he agrees with sam’s sentiments that paul stanley’s voice is one of the best in rock history. he feels cool as fuck when this song comes on—especially when he’s driving. he drums on the steering wheel and taps his free foot in the floorboard. when he’s able to dance, you bet he most certainly will. he wishes he pursued his talent on the guitar, but he unfortunately no longer practices.)

☆ rosemary - deftones (“TIIIIIME SHIFT.” he loves the build up, the guitar, the seeming desperation in the vocals, and the overall tone of the song. he has to bite his knuckles to shut down the feeling that this song gives him. he breaks out in goosebumps and he loves how full and warm the sound is, especially when listening with headphones. he doesn’t really like how long it is, but it’s a personal preference that he excuses for the “dope ass vibes,” as Lovely likes to say.”

refer to vincent’s playlist cover at the bottom :)

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒

vincent is honestly the inspiration behind the song association in general, but asher’s song happened to come on while casually listening and i couldn’t help but make his post then and there. this one stays in the same kind of realm of music for the most part; i feel like vincent isn’t a super musical person anymore but he used to really enjoy it and is trying to get back into it. these are just my opinions! in my mind, vincent is on the goth side of things with a mix of a bunch of different musical subcultures thrown in. if you want more, lmk :3 (i will make them anyways, but if you desire a specific character then you need only ask!) @morgansplace

i wanna write mini fics but UGHHH i don’t think my writing is good enough smh. maybe i’ll do it anyways at some point.

k bye 💟

[bellamyblasphemy]

Depeche Mode had absolutely NO RIGHT to make the most darkly beautiful vampire-esque lovesong of all time. "I've always loved the night, and now you offer me eternal darkness," "when this world is trying its hardest to leave me unimpressed, just one caress from you and I'm blessed." HOW DARE YOU. throwing myself off a roof. Who want me

[blondiest]

offer me that deathless death a playlist for bury us both

tracklist:

Chinese Satellite by Phoebe Bridgers

Lovesong by Snake River Conspiracy

A House In Nebraska by Ethel Cain

chosen by Dua Saleh

A Temporary High by AURORA

So It Goes... by Taylor Swift

Death of Me by PVRIS

Wicked Game by Ursine Vulpine

Closer by J2, Keeley Bumford

Sugar Water by Flower Face

Knuckle Velvet by Ethel Cain, YAH WAV

Hypocrates by MARINA

What's That Perfume That You Wear? by Jens Lekman

Like Real People Do by Hozier

Tigerlily by La Roux

Vampire Smile by Kyla La Grange

Possession by Sarah McLachlan

Dancing With Our Hands Tied by Taylor Swift

Cornflower Blue by Flower Face

Take Me To Church - Cover by Violet Orlandi

seven by Taylor Swift

I Bet on Losing Dogs by Mitski

Behind Blue Eyes by The Who

I'm Your Man by Mitski

Sun Bleached Flies by Ethel Cain

Ribs by Lorde

Motion Sickness by Phoebe Bridgers

Nostalgia by Suki Waterhouse

hoax by Taylor Swift

Family Tree by Ethel Cain

Heart Shaped Bed by Nicole Dollanganger

Cherry Wine by Hozier

Spiracle by Flower Face

Michelle Pfeiffer by Ethel Cain, lil aaron

[bloodswag]

CORLAND BAY AT NIGHT — a 14dwy vampire au playlist

🦇 tracklist below 🦇

dpr ian - seraph ✦ depeche mode - halo ✦ massive attack - angel ✦ innerpartysystem - obsession ✦ sito magus - vampire romance ✦ pierce the veil - i don't care if you're contagious ✦ snake river conspiracy - lovesong ✦ femme fatale - perverted martyr ✦ the mission - serpents kiss ✦ the cure - burn ✦ deftones - knife prty ✦ black angel - live to love ✦ glamscure - hanabira ✦ android lust - follow ✦ health - dead flowers ✦ nero's day at disneyland - pact with god ✦ chiasm - petals ✦ goreshit - benzo (with me eternal) ✦ collide - halo ✦ clan of xymox - the darkest hour ✦ buck-tick - romance ✦ mortal love - adoration ✦ the shroud - and then ✦ elastica - human ✦ the birthday massacre - red ✦ echo & the bunnymen - nocturnal me ✦ the cure - the same deep water as you ✦ the shroud - passion of lovers ✦ swans - killing for company

[orchidzach]

So I was tagged by @andy-the-8th (who is a gem you should all be following) and the question is: 10 songs I've been thinking about/playing

"Needed Me," Rihanna (the vibes are dark and excellent)

"Nostálgico," Chr!s Brown, Rvssian, and Rauw Alejandro (what can i say, i love a sad/toxic lovesong)

"Prisoner," Dua Lipa and Miley Cyrus (who doesn't love lesbian-coded vampires?)

"Open Arms," Steve Dookie and Jorge Rivers-Herran (I love the opposition of ideas these two express)

"One Bad Night," Hayley Kiyoko (no reason)

"Sunlight," Hozier (this song found me in January and it really represents a whole lot of emotions and shipping that slammed me at the dawn of this year)

"Heaven's Light/Hellfire," Tom Hulce and Tony Jay (funnily enough you're the reason it has been on my mind so much lately)

"Applause," Lady Gaga (solely because of this video about obsessed artists in media)

"Call Out my Name," The Weeknd (it matches a characterization vibe)

"Mona Lisa," Dominic Fike (ATSV was iconic and as much as I adore "Self Love," this song has such exquisite vibes that it had to be the one on this list)

I tag @vithcy, @soldrawss, @eirianerisdar, @leovaldelf, @alinahdee, @goldenspecter, and @kittarts. You don't have to do the explanations, I just was inspired by andy-the-8th's version and I thought the explanations were neat.

[twiishaa]

earned in drops, lost in buckets

a playlist about trust/commitment issues - requested !!

there are like 2 kpop songs but most of them are just pop songs

trust issues ; the weeknd (call me basic i don’t care. I LOVE THIS SONG)

far ; sza

0x1 = lovesong ; tomorrow x together (trust me on this)

505 ; arctic monkeys

line without a hook ; ricky montgomery

vampire ; olivia rodrigo

lacy ; olivia rodrigo

talking to the moon ; bruno mars

last dance ; youha (listened to this after a rec and i have been missing out !! listen to this it’s so underrated)

why’d you only call me when you’re high ; arctic monkeys

brand new city ; mitski

heaven knows i’m miserable now ; the smiths (trust me)

traitor ; olivia rodrigo

cherry ; harry styles

i’m just your problem ; adventure time (YOUR GIRL FOUND A WAY TO SNEAK ADVENTURE TIME JNTO THIS !!!!!1!1!1!1!1!!1)

runaway baby ; bruno mars (my husband)

creep ; radiohead (i’m sorry)

note this was actually so hard 😭 i had to go on spotify to find some but i pulled through !! a lot of these are… vaguely related but they’re all bops okay 😭 thank you for reading and if you have any playlist reqs or song recs, please lmk !! love you all, have a good day/night 🩷🩷

[starburstfloat]

the way kpop manages to incorporate so much gay subtext in lyrics choreography or performances is honestly mind blowing and no this isn't the gays seeing things with rainbow colored glasses I'm talking overtly obvious metaphors or innuendos or unapologetic queer coding. txt's 0x1 lovesong. gidle's oh my god. key's bad love. people need to study this like historians studied vampires I'm serious

[zoetic-tome]

The Ends of Time

Characters: Nathaniel, Simon (@thedarknesssings), Sebastian (@lawwritteninblood), Rafael (@houserosaire), Aamir (@gorgagne-viperidae) Content Warning: Blood.

“What would be your perfect world, Nathaniel?” It had been a cruel question asked of him.

“I don’t know.” Nathaniel had lied. He knew. He had always known what his idea of paradise was. But his idea of paradise was not everyone’s idea of paradise, and they deserved the chance to make their own choices, didn’t they? Selfish, hungry monster in the dark. Make a choice, but make a choice you can live with for all of your days. It’ll be the last chance you ever have to change things.

Life had been far from perfect before their ill-fated traversing through time and the universe. The multiverse? He studied the occult and still struggled with the enormity of what they had touched. These were things that were going to haunt him for the rest of his life, whether he wanted to or not. 

But he knew that perfection, to him, was most decidedly not the idyllic place that they had been put. Paradise never was. He had said that the night they had agreed to give Chronos the gems. But he had let them continue onward, forward into a set of nights that welcomed them. Gods, Marcel once told him in their theological debates, were often seen as capricious and cruel, kind and benevolent in equal measure. And Chronos had proved no different.

His perfect world, he had finally settled on, was exactly what they had left behind, full of the people within it. Of those important to them restored. It was what any of them had wanted when they first agreed to give Chronos back his gems. Not that Nathaniel thought any good would come from keeping them to start with. 

And so back, Chronos had wound their world. Back he had put them, on the right course. Back on a set of docks, at the edge of a warzone. People they cared for had died there. Marcel. Liam. Esra. They had this one, final chance to put things right. And so they ran. 

They ran, and Rafael danced through the battlefield with a pair of blades in his hand and cut through the Inquisition with an elegance that Nathaniel felt he would never truly be able to appreciate. Aamir’s stealth wore down the edges of the great ring their little warzone had become, and lines of laser light faded as he did his work time and time again, a silent killer with an efficiency the others may never quite match. 

Sebastian had faded into a living shadow and one after another, people dropped, clutching at throats, struggling to breathe through the inhuman figure that the lawyer had become. He himself had cut a swathe through bodies, sword cane lunging deep as old fencing lessons flowed back into his head like second nature. 

And when it was done, when they stood in a ring with their sires and paramours and these people who they had come to save, did Nathaniel lift his gaze. Simon Frost, standing among the victorious. He should have been elated. 

Simon, his Simon, at last. 

Relief warred with the dread in his stomach, and in the end, he let himself leave with the others. He turned, gazing out the window as the vehicle that held Simon, Caleb, Liam, and Rafael pulled off in an opposite direction from the one that Aamir took him and Sebastian. In the end, Nathaniel had ended up back at his book shop alone. 

Well, alone would be an oversimplification. He was bloody when he walked in through the door, a right mess from the fighting down at the docks. And though it was clear from the look on Jacob’s face that he longed to ask what had happened to leave Nathaniel looking so damned haunted, the man had ended up just finishing tending the shop for the evening, giving the blonde his space. 

Nathaniel had turned the lock on his apartment door as he trooped down the stairs. Jacob had closed up dozens of times without ever bothering him. And he expected tonight to be no different. It wasn’t the townhouse. It wasn’t paradise. It wasn’t even the room he sometimes shared with Simon, but it was his. And right now he deeply needed the sanctuary of a space that was untainted with memories of the black haired man.

Hands reached up to pull free the messy bun that he had whipped his hair into before the battle, and pale hair stained so red he nearly matched Rafael’s usual strawberry blonde spilled down his back. It clung in places, sticky and unwilling to let go while so much vitae coated the strands. A hand reached into the shower and he cranked the water to let it warm while he turned to stare into the mirror. 

He looked a mess, not pretty even with all of the blood that coated him. His appetite was quiet, his beast sated during the fighting. What bothered him were his eyes. A hazel stare that he usually considered sharp and alert looked exhausted. Shadowed. Deep bruises that he wanted to chalk up to exhaustion ruined his flawless appearance beneath them.

“I ate your name. Now you belong to me and no one else.” 

An ugly memory turned his gaze from the reflective surface and he stepped into the shower still fully clothed. Hot water beat down on him, made black fabric cling to his lanky frame. He fell back against the plain tile, and the enormity of what had happened to them finally hit him in a wash that left him trembling.

They had endured so much. So painfully much. He had seen so many facets of his lover he was sure he was never meant to see. Had witnessed a cruelty that he was certain the other man would have never wanted him to realize was in him. Was it in him? Could he really call these other versions of him in his memories, ‘him’?

He let his legs fall loose and slid down the tile to rest on the floor. He stayed there, red running off his clothing and out of his hair, staining the water. Nathaniel curled in on himself, his legs shifting up to rest against his chest. His arms draped across them, and his head slid back, resting against the tile. 

He wasn’t sure how much of each other version of Simon he would see mirrored in the one that occupied the bed beside him as they fell into day-sleep with each rising of the sun. One of his hands lifted, smoothing across his face. Only the Simon of 1810 had been the one that he would get to meet again in the future, so he had thought. But even that had been unwritten in order to save those they had known. 

A letter never written. Never sent. Never delivered. And perhaps that was for the best. But that didn’t change the things that had happened to him there. He had shown him his signet ring, and Simon had believed them. Believed him. He had no cause or provocation, but he believed him. 

And the way he had acted after the garden? Like a man possessed, held back from potentially killing Aamir over a broken leg. He had healed. A single day-sleep had fixed that wound readily enough. And he didn’t blame Aamir for hurting him; he’d been dominated, and he’d have expected the same from any of them. Stopping him by any means they had available to them.

That Simon had been like a shadow when he left. Would he oppose him, or be willing to stand with him? It had been a hard question, and one Nathaniel hadn’t wanted to answer at the time. Didn’t have a proper answer. He had bared as much of his heart as he was willing to, and then wrote him that letter in the intervening time before he left.

And then everything had gone awful. Chronos and that terrible first place with the tower of flesh. The last semblances of the Simon that he loved and knew and wanted. He had told him he loved him, afraid he might never get a chance to say it again. And then he’d been forced to admit it again. And again. And again. Each time, to the wrong Simon.

And now that he had the opportunity, he wasn’t certain he could look at his Simon, to give him those same words. He finally lifted his head from the back of the shower when the water falling on him ran almost bitterly cold. He pushed to stand, and it took minutes for him to strip himself free. Cleaning away the remnant blood from his hair and nails was easy, and when he stepped free of the shower a few minutes later, he pulled on the thick black bathrobe that hung beside it on its hook.

He felt chilled still, but it had nothing to do with shower he’d taken, and everything to do with the events of the last two places they had been. In one, he endured knowing that the last thing he did was rip Simon’s throat out so they could get home. In the next, he told him that he loved him, and was erased for his trouble. 

His steps finally carried him back out of the bathroom on bare feet to prowl to the many occult books he had collected and gathered. Things that would damn them if they weren’t all labeled as fantasy novels. He had always been so careful with anything he bound and kept here. Pages upon pages written in his hands. Lineages and traces and lines. Wait, there it was. Elders of note. 

He fetched his phone from the place he had laid it when he first walked in─he didn’t even remember doing it but muscle memory must have kicked in because there it lay just to the side of the stairwell in its usual place in the ornate basket he used─and then with book and phone in his grasp, he crawled into the broad bed that was his own. His fingers hesitated as he brought up the number he wanted.

His thumb however over the send button before he pressed it.

We need to talk, eventually. - N

The reply was more abrupt than he had expected, a soft ding before he even had time to properly set it back down on the bed nearby him. As if Simon had been waiting for him. Had he? 

Come home and we can. - S

He tried to reply. He did. 

Tomorrow. Maybe. I don’t know. -N

He cursed under his breath, the words uncharitable. Simon wouldn’t understand why he had suddenly changed. Gone from taking any chance he could get to be at his side, to avoiding him. The message was deleted, and though he tried again, to find the right collection of words, he ended up simply leaving the whole thing blank. Simon’s message had been read, and if that was all the man would know about it, that would have to be enough tonight.

Nathaniel leaned back, propping himself up on the pillows as he opened the book before him. Lineage and elders. Figures of myth and legend. Something that could consume names. He would only know if he asked. But first, he had other things he wanted to ask. But that too, would be a problem for tomorrow. Maybe by then, after day-sleep was finished, he would have the fortitude to face down Simon.

The book was lain aside at last, and he curled down onto his side. His body still ached. But perhaps worse still was this painful throb at the center of his chest. How could he stand to love a man who had been all too willing to destroy him? And how much of the Simon’s he had faced, did his Simon possess? 

He had no answers.  

He could only pray that tomorrow’s sunset brought him either clarity, or certainty. For now he was in far too short supply of either, with a heart too wary to hope.

[forthegothicheroine]

Vampire Mina and Vampire Jonathan in the club scene at the beginning of The Hunger, but the postpunk band is the Cure, and the song they’re doing vampire stuff to is Lovesong

[clockwrkcabaret]

No Good

WARNING! This show is for adults. We drink cocktails, have potty mouths and, at least, one of us was raised by wolves.

The Clockwork Cabaret is a production of Agony Aunt Studios. Featuring that darling DJ Duo, Lady Attercop and Emmett Davenport. Our theme music is made especially for us by Kyle O’Door.

This episode aired on Mad Wasp Radio, 11.05.23.

New episodes air on Mad Wasp Radio on Sundays @ 12pm GMT! Listen at www.madwaspradio.com or via TuneIn radio app!

Playlist:

Vermillion Lies – No Good

Charming Disaster – Cherry Red

The Cog is Dead – A.I. Stole My Life

Dust Bowl Faeries – Vampire Tango

Pink Martini – Donde Esta Yolanda

Nouvelle Vague – Too Drunk To Fuck

Nina Hagen – Fever

Señor Coconut – Sweet Dreams

Shovels & Rope – I’m Your Man (feat. John Fullbright)

Elle King – I Told You I Was Mean

Amy Winehouse – Me & Mr Jones

Adele – Lovesong

Paloma Faith – It’s the Not Knowing

Janelle Monáe – Givin Em What They Love (feat. Prince)

D’Angelo & The Vanguard – Ain’t That Easy

The Harlem James Gang  – My Strut Is Incredible!

Eric McFadden – Womanizer

The Heavy – How You Like Me Now

The Mountain Goats – This Year

Jukebox the Ghost – Good Day

The Decemberists – 16 Military Wives

Danger Mouse & Daniele Luppi – Two Against One (feat. Jack White)

TV On the Radio – Wolf Like Me

Interpol – Obstacle 1

They Might Be Giants – What Did I Do to You?

Radiohead – No Surprises

Placebo – Bigmouth Strikes Again

  Check out this episode!