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#[ and I’m just like dude goat man is in every part of the US and Canada ]
huskynotwolf · 4 months
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Convexian Hitman AU
Part 1 I guess
AU by @tibbycaps/ @tibby-art
Written by @thecrazyhusky
(I mixed in dsmp, it’s more fun with those swearing idiots :D )
Mission: Find and destroy target’s weapon supply (target’s name is Tubbo and Jack Manifold)
Cub’s PoV
“I want you to destroy his weapons.” Doc looked at us, dead serious.
We (me and Scar) were in the NHO’s conference room, listening to Bdubs rant about this new case we had to deal with. Scar had already yawned at least two times and I had grabbed every single one of their cans of carbonated drinks or whatever at the table and shook them so hard they looked like ticking bombs. Etho was also eyeing us with much suspicion, and I suspected he was up to something.
“All of them?” I asked.
“All of them.” The goat-creeper confirmed. “He was some sort of former president of a country. He’s got some ass-load of explosives. Specifically, bombs. Lots of those.”
“Ah.” Scar smiled. “Big boom.”
“Really?” I looked at him.
“And here are the conditions, since you three are definitely gonna loophole out of this.” Doc growled.
“You have to get this done by this week, which is three days. No eating anyone, and I mean anyone. You find those explosives, disable them, then leave. Nothing else. I don’t want those Snowchester people come fighting with nukes.”
I raised an eyebrow. “They got nukes?”
Scar sniggered. I kicked him.
Doc glared at my fellow Vex. “And bring Grian. He’ll be of use.”
“Grian? You sure?” I asked.
“Yes.” Doc grunted. “And you better get the job done. Go. Now.” He said.
I nodded, grabbed Scar’s wrist and dragged him out of the conference room, heading down to Grian’s “office”, while hearing Bdubs and Beef screech loudly along to the sounds of soda exploding. I allowed myself a slight smile.
“Dang it. Should’ve rigged ‘em better.” I said.
Scar gave me a look. “Don’t tell me you shook all of them.”
“I did. But I could’ve just fitted them with grenades instead.” I replied, taking a left turn down the hallway.
We found her studying a file about Tubbo.
“Hey.” She greeted us, not looking up.
“Hiya. You ready?” I asked.
Since Grian has her Watcher powers, she could technically see us coming, so I assumed she was already prepared.
“Let’s just go. Tango yelled at me earlier. I want to get out of here as soon as possible.” She stood up, then walked towards us.
“Tango? Why?” Scar asked.
“None of your concern.” She shrugged.
We headed out the door, taking the lift down, then exiting the building. As soon as we stepped out, Grian winced.
“You okay?” I asked her.
“Y-yeah,” she replied. “It’s just…overwhelming.”
“Hmm.” I shot a glance at Scar. “Scar, you got the map? Coords, at least?”
“Ask the all-seeing.” He pointed at Grian. Grian made a low growling sound.
“Wow, I though you prepped.” She muttered under her breath.
“Yes, I have the map. It’s in my head.” She raised her voice.
“Great!” Scar smiled. “Let’s go, then.”
I leaned closer to Grian. “You okay, dude?”
She nodded. “Yeah. I’m fine. It’s fine. Everything’s…” she exhaled. “Alright.”
“Good.” I said, then secretly kicked Scar. The man glared at me but I didn’t reply.
“Let’s go.”
***
“We gonna take a subway. Then a cross-country train. Then another high-speed railroad.” I said, laying down a drawn map.
“Snowchester’s all the way out there, so we probably need to either stop to eat on the way, or we have to bring food.” I rolled up the map and shoved it in my pack.
Scar rolled his eyes. “You’re concerned about eating?”
“Grian needs to eat as well.” I hissed.
I had shoved the three of us into a Seven Eleven’s, where my reason was, “we need substance.”
Grian nudged Scar. “Here’s the thing, bud. We don’t have money. How-“
I waved a five dollar bill I snatched from someone. “Steal.”
“Did you get his whole wallet?” Scar asked, his eyes glinting mischievously.
I gave a low chuckle. “Duh I did.” I held out the stolen wallet. Scar sniggered. “This guy’s got a hundred and fifty.”
Grian gave us a look of annoyance and frustration. “You know it’s illegal to steal, right?”
Scar materialised behind her, making her jump. “Nah. It’s fine.”
Grian narrowed his eyes at him but didn’t snap back a comment.
I handed Scar about thirty dollars worth of bills. “Grian, you can go with Scar to buy food.” She shot me a dirty look, got up and disappeared behind the aisles with the Vex.
I took out twenty and nabbed a sandwich and two bottles of water, in which to avoid getting yelled at by Grian, I payed for it instead of stealing it.
Though I will admit I stole a can of Sprite.
Yeah. Maybe.
Grian bought coffee and milk tea (where did she find that?) and Scar bought a bun and bottled Cola, though I could tell he didn’t intend to drink it, he’s just gonna prank me with it.
As we left that store, I searched for enough money to get us to the subway station. Six dollars to get in, then they needed eighteen. I decided not to give them the coins and bills yet, as Scar had a tendency to lose things.
Very, very often.
We headed to the subway station, while Grian kept cautiously looking around for signs of danger. However, despite this, Scar seemed extremely carefree.
“G, man, there’s nothing to worry ‘bout. It’s not like someone would just suddenly drop down and try and kill us, right?” He said to no one in particular.
“Don’t jinx it.” She huffed. “I see something. Though I can’t pinpoint where it is.”
I approached the subway tunnel, with the two nitwits trailing behind. “Yeah, something’s definitely wrong. I can feel it.”
I stepped down the stair, then halted when something whizzed past me and embedded itself into the wall with a thunk.
“Honestly, Foolish, how bad can your aim be!” I heard a yell. The three of us swivelled our heads towards the noise, and standing on the side of the street, armed with crossbows, were two deranged-looking people. At least that’s what the first word that came to my head when I saw them.
The one who shot the projectile, Foolish, looked suspiciously like a totem of undying, and it made me question whenever he’s an actual totem or not. His friend was a girl who wore dark sunglasses and had long streaks of hair running down both sides of her head. What she wore screamed pirate in every way.
Grian sighed. “Scar, you jinxed it.”
Scar glared at her. “No I didn’t!”
I slapped Scar before he could argue any further and hissed, “don’t make the situation worse, dumbass!” and marched towards the pair with crossbows. Scar gave me an offended look but I knew he was playing around for fun.
“What do you want?” I demanded.
Foolish looked at me. “You don’t have the authority to order me around.” He said.
“You just tried to kill me. Are you hitmen?” I snapped.
His friend glared at me. “You were trying to destroy our military.”
Grian and Scar came up from behind. “What do you know about that?” Grian challenged.
“I know for a fact that you were sent to destroy our nukes. We’re from Snowchester, mind you.” The girl growled.
Grian suddenly looked like he was lost in thought. Scar stared at her, then shook her to try snap her out of her trance, but did nothing except from earning a well-deserved smack in the face by her.
“Well, we don’t really care about who sent you. This is about our country’s safety. You back off, or we’ll make you.” Sunglasses Girl said, raising her crossbow.
I processed her words, then turned to Scar. “Wait, if we die, is our contract technically broken?”
He paused. “Wait…you know what? You’re right! We can just let ‘em kill us!”
“But do we like, reincarnate or something? What do you think we’d be-“
Sunglasses Girl facepalmed. “No-that’s not what I meant! I don’t want anyone dead!”
Foolish nudged her. “Whatever, Puffy. They’re not part of our nation.”
Grian shook her head. “You have your own problems. Deal with whoever the fuck Dream is first, then come back and kill us. Besides, Tubbo is a literal threat to society.” She said. “You shouldn’t be listening to that menace.”
Puffy, aka Sunglasses Girl, looked promptly taken aback by Grian’s comment. “How do you know about Dream?”
“Can we take this conversation somewhere else? We’re attracting quite a lot of unwanted attention.” Grian interrupted. “One dude who passed by thought you were a terrorist.”
Foolish and Puffy took a while to discuss, and as soon as they took their eyes off the us and Grian, I took out the stolen can of Sprite, shook it hard, opened it (but barely) then yeeted it at Foolish. It landed on the ground and the entire can burst like a grenade, spewing soda everywhere.
We bolted for it, making a beeline for the subway station, with Scar mainly being dragged all the way. By the time the pair from Snowchester realised what’s happening, we were already down the subway and had managed to get into the train already.
“Ok, that was…awkward.” Grian panted, slightly out of breath.
I grunted. “Whatever. You shouldn’t have told them about your powers.”
She shook her head. “I…sorry.” She muttered.
“Eh. We could go back and kill them both.” I shrugged.
Scar nodded. “Actually, yeah. I would love to do that.”
Grian paled. “No you don’t!” She cried. “Why must you always kill people left and right?”
Both of us Vexes turned their piercing gaze at her. She immediately shut up and sank into the seat.
“Can I kill Tubbo?” Scar asked.
“No,” Grian and I said almost simultaneously. I gave her a look but she said nothing.
“Aww.” He huffed. “I’m bored.”
“You won’t be when we reach the border.” Grian said.
“What?” I asked. “Are you talking about…the border between the city and Greater Dream SMP or whatever that place is called?”
She nodded. “You know we don’t have our IDs or passports. It’s gonna be a wild chase with the border guards there.”
“Ooo, what do they do?” Scat asked.
Grian groaned. “They would chase you down on horses and they never stop. Literally, they could hunt you continuously for days without stopping.”
“Sounds fun,” Scar said.
Grian bit her lip to prevent herself from snapping back at him.
I looked at her. “Listen, if you know about the border guards, do you think we can get past them?”
She nodded. “You can get past them, but it’s gonna be hard.”
I gave both of them a wide smile. “Alright. We have two hitmen on our trail, we don’t have IDs of any sort and we’re about to be chased down by a few border guards. What’s the worse that could happen?”
To be continued
(I did it on another platform and then tried to paste it on Tumblr but ended up with so much lag I can’t even type properly lol)
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eagleeyecherrypie · 5 months
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Dickkory fans were robbed and malnourished: a rant
Being a fan of Richonne and watching how The Ones Who Live played out really makes me see how absolutely starved we were as Dickkory fans. I finished TOWL with mixed emotions. On the one hand I was over the moon with happiness. On the other, I was sad and jealous…of myself. What I mean is, the part of me that is a Dickkory fan was savagely jealous of the Richonne fan in me. One was over here fat and happy while the other was counting her ribs again. Both shows had the same potential with the chemistry between their two leads being off the charts. TOWL showed us what could have been while Titans left me wanting and there is no excuse for it.
Exhibit A:
I’ve lost count of how many times Rick declared his undying love for Michonne both in actions AND (very importantly) in words. I mean, I’m so full I’m about to pop.
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It literally got to a point like “Dude we get it. She’s the air you breathe and you can’t imagine your life without her. Okay, okay.”
We. Were. FED!!
Exhibit B (or as a lesser man might say, Number 2):
Meanwhile Dickkory fans (me included) are/were over here living off crumbs and trying to find meaning in anything and everything. We all became experts in body language and read into everything we could just to add substance to their story:
“See, every time she touches him he short circuits. Dude is down bad”
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Or “When he paused and sighed while mentioning her boyfriend that one time, that means he’s so in love with her that it pains him to imagine her with someone else”
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Even the actual “love confession” was weak in my opinion. Far too passive.
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I know Titans was not a love story but the man couldn’t have just said the words one time? Or at least used his actual words to discuss how he felt about seeing their baby from the future.
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Don’t get me wrong, we got the occasional full bites instead of crumbs, but I would argue that this made the situation even worse. They got our hopes up. We got a glimpse of what could have been.
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The show should have just kept all of that instead of teasing us with a love story so RICH with potential only to let us down again and again. They basically either completely ignored it or just keep dangling it in our faces until the final credits rolled. Not to mention the absolute travesty of the wasted chemistry between two actors. Brenton and Anna did the best they could with what they were given. I believe the few crumbs we got were mostly coming from them trying to drive the story along. We all loved the build up in season 1 (the GOAT) but they (the writers) completely lost momentum.
I could even forgive some of this if they just ran out of time to tell the story (again, I get it, Titans wasn’t a love story), but the truth is that they wasted so much time on unnecessary and frankly boring storylines:
🥱
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🙄Why? What were the writers actually trying to accomplish here? Who or what was holding them back from greatness?
In conclusion:
Fan fiction is the only thing that got me through with Titans. (Shout out to the ones who held it down with those BTW. I’ve pretty much read them all.) Meanwhile, I personally haven’t read even one story about Rick and Michonne because there is zero need. I left fully satisfied with zero notes. Their story is complete.
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Le sigh 😔
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aworldofyou · 2 years
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I love how our word when talking about supernatural is consider mythology or myth until white people see it and suddenly everyone swears these things exist.
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sammyloomis · 2 years
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i’m curious what your general thoughts on the characters were? i found the main cast pretty likable on average tbh
ohhhHOHOHO well then ill have to make a cheeky list n talk about em all then :] ill go in order of appearence i guess (and yeah i ended up liking most of them! with a few nit picks here and there)
laura: i fucking love her oh my god, i was kind of surprised when i got to the end and found myself as into her character as i was. shes super cool, queen of costume changes, queen of being a rly cool werewolf, queen of having an eyepatch, queen of my heart
max: ohh my god this lad fghj i love him too, hes so..... Dopey idk how else to describe him. hes so casually hilarious idk if hes ever aware of it. he was super nice in my playthrough because i was nice to Him and i think he and laura are a great couple :'] drinks his respects women juice every day
jacob: he was living his jessice riley fantasy spending half the night in his underwear covered in blood. king of being in touch with his emotions, i loved that he cried so much and wasnt as much of the douche bag jock type (like he still Was a dick a fair few times, but im baby girlifying him)
kaitlyn: SHE DESERVED MORE SCREEN TIME WTF MAN like considering shes supposed to be the final girl to ryans final guy she didnt have NEARLY as much gameplay as him :[ which is such a shame because shes GREAT again super super cool, i Loved her and dylans friendship, the whole scrapyard scene was amazing and one of the best in the game imo
ryan: ohh ryan..... ryan ryan ryan. a friend said this yeaterday but he suffers from the mike munroe treatment where the game Clearly wants you to like him by having a lot of segments with him and in doing so it just made me kind of..... Not like him :[ i also felt like he was resistant to laura and the truth of what was goin on for Too Long, like at the point he should have realised the stakes he just Kept Going which was frustrating
dylan: i actually started of really not liking dylan fghj i thought he was kinda annoying :'] but he Defo grew on me once shit started going south. like once the very obviously a front started dropping he was much less of a pest fghjk AND like i said with kaitlyn, the scrapyard scene with those 2 was INCREDIBLE. also love that he asked for his hand to be cut off and then was like WHY DID YOU DO THAT!? D':
nick: hrhhhhh okay. nick. man nick you really fuckin got my goat huh?? just snatched it up like el chupacabra. he was so fucking BORING dude, and when he wasnt being boring he was being kind of a dick >:[ even before the bite. the campfire scene im sure is gonna make a lot of people dislike emma but i would like to point out that HE KISSES HER BACK. QUITE HAPPILY TOO. so yeah, not a big nick fan, but i dont Hate him, i think once he gets bitten its actually a pretty interesting downward spiral
abigail: ohhhh abi you sweet baby. she was very cute and very sweet and UNFORTUNATELY that meant.... she was a lil one note. but again she was SO under used it was so annoying!! it felt like she was just there as a narrative device for nick and once he was out of the picture she was kinda pushed to the back. the parts shes in, all she rly does is.... be there fghj and from what ive seen quite a few of her deaths are being killed by her friends once they turn into werewolves
emma: controversial queen. my thoughts on emma are Complicated, especially after the campfire thing, and a lot of the time she felt kind of uninterested in what was going on which, considering her character and how she talks about putting up a front a lot of the time, i can understand. all that being said, i still love her, i think shes interesting, and i WILL defend her because i know how people like to immediately jump on female characters who arent totally """nice"""..... oh also shes in love with abi so
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kaijuposting · 3 years
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In which Newt Geiszler gets a natal chart analysis
So thanks to the fact that most of the Pacific Rim characters have their birthdays and places of birth listed, we can plug them into any astrology app and find out what most of their placements are. Now, whether or not astrology is a real thing in our universe, it’s definitely a real thing in the Pacific Rim universe. So, I’ve put Newt’s data into AstroCharts, and (excluding the parts we can’t be sure about because we don’t have the hour and minute of his birth) this is what we’ve got:
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Now, if you are familiar with the way most people practice astrology, you might be saying, “Wait a sec, Capricorn is all about structure and rules and that just doesn’t fit Newt at all!”  Well of course, the whole damn problem is that the way most people practice astrology is incredibly reductive and ignores a very broad range of metaphysics which allow us to argue that because Capricorn is associated with Rules and Structure, and because it is a goat, it has the virtue of climbing around any established structure and order, fucking shit up, and laughing (in a bleatful voice) at the naysayers. It also doesn’t consider the broad range of myths about goats and horned spirits that tell us that goatness is chaotic as fuck. Like, you know Pan? You know the Krampus? Yeah, think along those lines. Between Newt’s Moon in Scorpio, Venus in Capricorn, and Mars in Sagittarius, Hermann’s just going to have to get used to Newt getting freaky at the drop of a hat, in any and every sense. Mercury in Capricorn and Mars in Sagittarius also means that Newt is gonna spend most of his life picking weird hills to die on. Jupiter in Cancer means that Newt could find success and fulfillment in something that involves homekeeping or nurturing something - and this being Newt and all, I’m going to say he should totally express this in maintaining tanks and terrariums full of Little Critters, like Isopods and Crabs and Such. (Of course, he should also express this by taking care of his Favorite Pet Crabby Man, Hermann.) Though of course, with his Chiron in Cancer, he might be doubting his ability to do that exact thing, perhaps worrying that deep inside he’s just like his mother - distant and even negligent. He’ll need to face down and work on this insecurity a lot, probably! With Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune in Capricorn, I think it’s safe to say that Newt likes knowing what and where the rules are, and actually has a pretty damn good grasp on them. He just dances around them and sometimes totally disregards them because they harsh his mellow, dude. His North Node is in Aquarius, so there’s no fucking way he’s letting some stodgy old rules stand in the way of doing cool and important things.
TL;DR: Newt is weird and full of goats. :D
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sir-subpar · 3 years
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Where have you been? (Part 2)
*Warning: Blood/Gore*
Five weeks. That's how long Boyfriend had been missing. Five weeks with still no sign of the blue-haired man, it was starting to drive Pico mad. The longer this went on, the harder it was for Pico to think positively. He was starting to struggle with sleep, sometimes going days without so much as a wink of rest. His fiery orange hair was messy from him constantly running his fingers through it. It was hard to relax when someone you care about was unaccounted for. Whitty and Hex were still helping out, which Pico appreciated, but it did little to ease his fears. The three of them met up and searched for Boyfriend as often as they could.
It was late in the afternoon, another day going by with no luck finding Boyfriend. The trio had resorted to putting up missing posters for Bf, splitting up to scatter them around town. It did little to help, especially when random vandals would tear them down or draw all over them. Every time Pico saw one of the posters being ruined it pissed Pico off to no end. He didn't think it was possible to want to strangle a graffiti artist as much as he did. By some miracle of willpower he refrained from doing so (that, and he didn't know who was doing it). Pico sighed angrily as he hung another poster, his thumb turning white as he pushed the tacks into a wooden pole. His gaze lingered on the poster. In the picture, Bf was smiling. He looked so happy.. Pico felt his chest tighten around his heart. It felt hard to breathe, but not impossible. He clutched the front of his vest, fidgeting with the teeth of the zipper. Pico could only imagine what Boyfriend was going through, and his imagination was not kind. As much as he tried to ignore the worst possibilities, he struggled to stay positive. 
What if Boyfriend was dead? 
He hated the idea. He didn't want to think about it. Surely he was alive. He had to be somewhere! Anywhere! He couldn't be dead! Pico tried to ground himself by thinking of other possibilities. Maybe Bf was just hiding from everyone because he didn't want Gf and her family to know where he was. Pico grit his teeth as more anger suddenly rose from his core. Girlfriend… he was honestly starting to resent her. Sure, most people don't want to see their ex after a breakup. Pico understood that, sure, whatever. But when someone goes missing, it's good to help find them. Especially when you're the last one to have seen them…
Pico was suddenly brought back to reality when he heard his phone buzzing in his pocket. Whitty was calling. The two exchanged phone numbers after they went to that diner weeks ago. Pico tapped the green icon to answer, and brought the phone to his ear. "Hey Whitty. What's up?" Pico asked, his anger faded a bit, now being distracted with the sound of Whitty's voice. "I just wanted to let you know that Hex can't help us for a few days. He's got some computer virus that's apparently been a bitch to remove." Whitty sounded agitated. Pico figured he was probably worried about his best friend. "Is he gonna be ok?" Pico asked, he was already missing one person, he didn't want to lose another. "Yeah, some tech guy's helping him out. He should be fine soon..." Whitty paused. "Hey, do you want to meet up? I'm out of posters to hang." Whitty's tone changed a bit, Pico couldn't quite figure out why, but he brushed it off. It didn't matter anyway. "Yeah, I'll pick you up. Where are you?"
Pico drove in silence as Whitty sat in the passenger seat. He felt a little bad for the bomb man as even with the seat pushed all the way back, he barely fit in the car. Pico's car just wasn't designed with people over 8ft tall in mind. Whitty had the chair leaned back so he wouldn't hit his head on the ceiling, his knees were bent just so he could fit in the car. Whitty's hands were in his pockets, despite the lack of space in the car, he seemed like he was relaxing a bit. 
"Hey Pico." Whitty broke the silence. Pico let out a hum, signaling he was listening. "I had this random idea for the next place we should check."  "Hmm?" Was Pico's only reply. He was tired, but he wasn't gonna quit for the day just yet. "You know that bridge close to the freeway? The one over the ditch?" Pico had to think for a moment before he caught on. "You think he might be hiding out in the ditch?" Pico asked, a little glimmer of hope making itself known. Whitty shrugged. "Maybe. I dunno. It's a common place to hide." Pico turned on his blinker, he had to drive to the opposite side of town to get there but at this rate it wasn't a big deal. If there was even a chance of Boyfriend being there, he had to take it. He had to make sure Bf was safe. 
After Pico parked the car, he and Whitty climbed down into the dry ditch. It was now night, the darkness making it hard to see anything. Except Whitty's eyes, that is. In the complete darkness, Pico noticed Whitty's orange eyes were glowing. He could partially see the tall man's body as the warm light from his eyes reflected off of him. Pico found it fascinating. It was oddly comforting, like a fireplace. Pico found himself getting lost in them.
 "... Pico?" Whitty's voice interrupted Pico's stupor. Turns out the inside of Whitty's mouth glowed too. "Huh? What?" Pico asked, a little lost thanks to his little daydream. "Are you alright? You seemed out of it." Whitty asked, shifting awkwardly as he stood. Pico felt uneasy, did Whitty see something in the dark that he hasn't noticed yet? Were they alone? Pico quickly shoved his hand in his pocket and whipped out his flashlight. As soon as he turned it on, and the light flooded the ditch, he realized no one else was near them (at least no one was close enough to see). So why was Whitty uncomfortable? Like someone was staring at him? 
Wait… 
Pico had almost physically face-palmed. He was staring at Whitty. He just stood there in silence and stared at this dude's face in the darkness. From Whitty's point of view, that probably came off as creepy. Now he felt a bit guilty for being so weird. Damn it, he had to say something to break this weird silence! But what? Should he apologize? Or just brush it off so they don't have to talk about it? 'Damn it Pico, say something! Anything!' He mentally chastised himself. Just when he was about to blurt out what probably would have been nonsense, Whitty piped up. "Did my eyes creep you out?" Whitty asked, sounding disheartened. Pico suddenly panicked, speaking before his brain could filter it. "What- No! No. Not at all. Your eyes are cool! Like a jack o lantern or something. They're neat! They like.." Pico cleared his throat to compose himself again. He had to give a rational response. "I think your eyes are fascinating. I didn't mean to offend you, I just got distracted. I'm sorry." Pico's face turned a light shade of pink out of embarrassment. He hoped his disjointed response would somehow make the situation less awkward. Whitty's eyes widened, and his cheeks glowed a bit as his expression shifted from surprised to bashful. He started rubbing the back of his head, a nervous habit, Pico assumed. "I… thanks. I've had people say my eyes remind them of Jack O lanterns before, but I think this is only the second time someone's used it as a compliment. Bf was the first." Whitty confessed, his tone sounding fond. Pico smiled a bit, of course B would say something like that. Pico snapped out of his trail of thought before he got more distracted with reminiscing. "Speaking of… we should get back to looking for him." Pico stated, bring their focus back to the task at hand. Whitty nodded. The two chose to walk throughout the ditch, hopefully they'd eventually find a sign of Boyfriend under these bridges. 
Each step they took echoed off of the cement around them. It was a little eerie. Pico was glad that he wasn't alone, Whitty seemed like he could hold his ground. It was comforting. After a few minutes, they came across a blanket laid out next to a few plastic water bottles. They couldn't necessarily say they belonged to Boyfriend, but it felt like they were on the right track at least. They continued their walk, hoping to find more signs of Bf. A few more mostly uneventful minutes went by, then they saw someone not too far ahead of them. Pico lowered his light a bit so it wasn't shining in their eyes, but he could still see them pretty clearly. They were leaning their back against the wall of the ditch with their arms crossed. They had what appeared to be a goat skull for a head with long horns er.. Horn. Pico noticed that one of their horns had clearly been broken off. Their face had multiple large cracks all over it. He wore a dark blue hoodie that matched his hat. His jeans were either a darker shade of blue or black, Pico couldn't quite tell. The skull-faced stranger had turned their head to look at Pico and Whitty, clearly having noticed Pico's flashlight. His black eye sockets with glowing yellow pupils staring them down. Pico admittedly got a shady vibe from him, but he was accustomed to shady people due to his type of work. He decided to approach the man, but not get too close, he just needed to know if he had seen Boyfriend. "Hey. Mind we ask you something?" Pico called, hoping the stranger would cooperate. "What do you want?" The horned stranger rudely snapped in a clear Russian accent, he was clearly agitated. Pico wasn't that fazed by the man's rudeness, again, he was used to that kind of behavior (not to mention he wasn't all that polite or well mannered himself). "We just have some questions. We're looking for a friend of ours, maybe you've seen him around." The man appeared to relax a bit after hearing that. His expression was less aggressive. "What does your friend look like?" He asked, his tone a bit less harsh than before. Pico pulled his phone from his pocket and scrolled through his gallery until he found a picture of him and Boyfriend. He turned the phone around to face the man. As soon as he saw the photo, his eye sockets widened, and he tilted his head back a bit in surprise. "Boyfriend?" The man questioned.
Now it was Whitty and Pico's turn to be surprised. "You know him?" Whitty asked, bewildered at the man's recognition of Bf. "Yes, we are… acquainted. I see him a lot lately." That, admittedly, made Pico angrier than it probably should have. This guy knew where Bf was while no one else did. B had trusted this guy instead of Pico? Or Whitty? Pico once again asked himself the question that plagued his mind for weeks. 'Why didn't he come to me?' Pico tightened his grip on his flashlight. He should be glad. They finally had a potential lead. Pico forced the irrationality down for what felt like the 100th time that day. "Do you know where he is?" 'Please. Tell me you know where he is.'  Pico begged internally. The man nodded his head in a 'sort of' fashion. "I know where he's been hiding lately. It's not too far from here." He looked around a bit, as if checking to see if they were alone. "You know that little theater on Chavez road? The closed one? He's been around there lately. You'll find him if you go there." Pico suddenly felt a small rush of relief. That sounded promising. "Thank you, Mr..?" "Tabi" "Thank you Tabi. We appreciate it. Oh! I'm Pico, by the way. This is Whitty." Whitty waved, and Tabi nodded in acknowledgment. Tabi bagan to walk away. "Take care of Boyfriend you too. He's fragile right now." He called before departing. "We will," Whitty replied, "Thank you." Pico mumbled one more time before he and Whitty rushed towards the car. 
For the first time in weeks, Pico felt hope. He felt almost giddy in a sense. Soon this nightmare could be over. Soon Bf could be safe. But there was still a chance that they wouldn't find Bf. There were a lot of emotions running rampant in his head. Nerves, excitement, doubt. He couldn't remember the last time he was this conflicted. Various 'what ifs' both positive and negative coming forth to give their piece of mind. Pico gripped the steering wheel of his car tightly, his knuckles turning white. 
Tabi's words echoed in his head. 'Take care of Boyfriend, he's fragile right now.'   
Was this all really because of Bf and Gf's breakup? It just felt extreme. Most people don't go missing for weeks after a breakup. Especially Boyfriend. This was out of character for him. He hated being alone. There was more to it. There had to be. Pico was sure of it. 
Pico pulled over as the old theatre came into view. The decorative walls were a bit worn, but still beautiful. He knew this old place fairly well, it made him a little sad when it was shut down. Pico and Whitty stepped out of the car. Whitty stretched his arms, glad he could stand at his full height again. The bomb man looked at the various posters on the theater's walls, each one advertised some sort of play or performance. "Huh." Was all Whitty said. "What's up?" Pico asked. "I don't know why, but I thought this was going to be a movie theater. I didn't realise it was one of those performing arts places." Whitty replied. Pico turned to Whitty. "You've never been here before?" Pico asked, genuinely surprised. Whitty only shook his head in response. "Aw man, that's a bummer. This place was nice. It was family-owned, a local theater, ya know? It went bankrupt, but when it was open it was cool… B loved it here." Pico's tone shifted as he reminisced. Going from casual to bittersweet. Whitty tilted his head curiously, waiting for Pico to continue. He didn't make eye contact with Whitty, instead focusing his gaze on the theater's doors. "Ya know… sometimes, after a show, the owners would let B and I use the stage. We'd sing there for as long as they let us. We did it almost every week." Pico couldn't help but feel nostalgic. He remembered those times so well. It was years ago, back when he and B were together. They were memories he cherished. "Sounds like it was fun." Whitty commented briefly. "It was." Pico's tone continued to be bittersweet. Deep down, he hoped that he and Boyfriend could have what they did back then. He always regretted letting B go, but never said anything. Once Boyfriend found someone else, he figured he'd never have a chance again. Pico's vision started to blur slightly. 'Goddammit Pico! Now's not the time!' He mentally chastised himself, he didn't want to cry. Not when Bf was still lost. Not in front of Whitty. He was able to bury this before, he could do it again. Pico did his best to refocus on the task at hand. He needed to stop doing this. 
Pico cleared his throat.
"A-Anyway, we should look for Boyfriend. He's probably around here somewhere." Whitty nodded. Pico was thankful that Whitty didn't pry into his emotions. He'd rather NOT talk about that at the moment, thank you very much. "Let's check inside." Whitty proposed, Pico gave a brief sound of agreement before pulling the front door's handle. Surprisingly it was unlocked. Was Tabi right? Was Boyfriend here? Did he unlock it? Pico made a mental note about the door and continued inside, Whitty following just behind him. Once again he needed his trusty flashlight. The theater was usually dark as is, but it was extra dark with it being the middle of the night. While in said darkness, Pico was briefly reminded of earlier that night when he stared at Whitty's eyes for an uncomfortable amount of time. Pico's cheeks flushed with embarrassment. This was definitely going to be one of those memories that kept him up at night whenever he thought about it. Then, Pico had another thought. "Hey Whitty." "Hm?" "How come you haven't been using a flashlight too? I mean, I don't mind sharing mine, I'm just curious." Pico hoped it wasn't a rude question. "Oh, well, uh.." Whitty began, Pico once again noticing how the inside of Whitty's mouth glowed like his eyes. "I don't really need a flashlight. I can see in the dark." Whitty's cheeks glowled orange a bit, now Pico was convinced that was how Whitty blushed. He found it kinda endearing, to be honest. "That's really cool. Wish I could do that." Pico said and chuckled a bit, feeling a bit lighter in spirit. Whitty also laughed coyly, feeling a bit flattered. "Let's check out the stage first." Whitty directed, already walking towards it. "Yeah, good idea." Pico agreed, following suit. The 'house' was dusty, and the seats clearly hadn't been used in a while. Well, most of them hadn't. Pico paused, getting a better look. He quickly noticed that a few of them had been folded out, the armrests were raised, and what looked like a shiney red blanket was draped across them. Someone had been using them as a makeshift bed, Pico realized. Someone was definitely here. "Psst, hey Whitty." Whitty turned around to face him, Pico waved his hand in a 'come here' gesture. Whitty nodded and approached him. 
The tall bomb headed man leaned over Pico, looking down the same row of seats he was. It didn't take him long to catch on. "We must be on the right track. Wait, is that a curtain?" Whitty reached over Pico to pick up and hold the 'blanket' which was, in fact, part of a stage curtain that had been cut. Pico felt his heart clench. B was using a curtain for a blanket, he must be cold. Pico looked at the chairs/bed. One of the seats had a pile of clothes/costumes haphazardly bunched together, probably being used as a pillow. This was just… sad. Bf didn't deserve to live like this. 
While Pico looked at the seats, Whitty took a second to inspect the curtain. It was red on one side, and white on the other side- wait, no, the other side had red too. In weird splotches and smear-like patterns. Whitty held it stretched out in front of him, the white and red patterned side facing him. The patterns looked inconsistent not just in size and shape, but in hue as well. Some of the red splotches looked darker almost..wet, while others looked faded, like stains. Whitty touched one of the darker red spots with his thumb, surprised when it was actually wet. Realization suddenly dawned on him, this wasn't a pattern. Now he was worried. "Hey Pico?" His scratchy voice quietly called, Pico turned around to look Whitty in the eyes. Whitty held the curtain in a way that only let Pico see the shiney full-red side and not the 'patterns'. "I'm not entirely human, so correct me if I'm wrong but… human blood is red, right?" Pico gave him a confused and worried look, then nodded hesitantly. "That's what I was afraid of." Whitty admitted, turning the curtain around so Pico could see. Pico's white eyes shot open wide, before giving Whitty a panicked look. Pico's heart dropped.
Just as Pico was about to say something, there was a loud *CRASH* from a distance. 
Pico and Whitty's attention snapped towards the stage, it looked like a shelf had fallen over from backstage. Frantic footsteps could be heard. Neither of them had to say anything, they both bolted towards all the noise. Running up the small stairs to the stage. They ran towards the backstage area. Their own footsteps echoing as their shoes hit the wooden floorboards. Whitty, with his longer strides, took the lead ahead of Pico. Once they arrived at the backstage room, they saw the metal Exit door slowly closing. Whitty slammed it back open, dashing through it, Pico not far behind him. Once outside, they had stumbled into a fenced in parking lot. Street lights illuminated the empty lot, now they could see the other person running away from them. They were short, around Pico's height. They had a black hoodie on, the hood was up so they couldn't see their head. Even so, Pico was sure that it was Boyfriend. It had to be. 
The hooded person ran into the parking lot's locked gate. Attempting to climb over it, but they weren't fast enough. Pico and Whitty were on their tail. They still tried, though. They were clearly struggling to get up the fence's bars, it looked like they kept slipping, like they couldn't grip the bars. Just as they were about to make another attempt to climb, Whitty caught up to them. The tall bomb man swiftly wrapped his hands around their torso, easily lifting them off the ground. Like holding a kitten. They helplessly swung their arms and legs, attempting to free themself from Whitty's grip. Amidst all their wild flailing, the hood came down, revealing a familiar face with blue hair. Boyfriend. They found him.
"N-no! Let me go! P-Put me down!" Boyfriend yelled, his voice filled with panic. His eyes were closed, and tears soaked his cheeks. Whitty knelt down to bring Boyfriend closer to the ground, still not letting go. "Hey! Hey… Boyfriend, it's just us. It's okay." Whitty did his best to keep his scratchy voice steady, hoping to calm down the terrified bluette. Despite not having the most soothing voice, it seemed to help a bit. Bf stopped flailing and yelling for the moment, his eyes snapped open. He seemed to have come to a sudden halt. His fearful eyes scanned the environment around him. Pico tried to approach him slowly, he didn't want to spook the poor guy more, but he too, was shaking. He had seen Boyfriend scared before, sure, but not like this. This was a new level of absolute terror. He looked so… fragile. Like if someone so much as flicked him, he'd fall to pieces. This was a far cry from the Boyfriend Pico knew. The dumb, reckless, confident man was no where to be found. What really struck Pico though, was the noticeable dampness of Boyfriend's hoodie sleeves. Pico figured he must have been injured, and he had to help. 
In the moment though, he was overwhelmed. He was happy that they found him. He was also worried about him. Part of him was angry. After all the weeks spent searching for Boyfriend, after spending those weeks bottling up all his frustrations, fears, grief, worry. He had reached his tipping point. He couldn't hold back anymore. The tears in his own eyes couldn't be stopped this time. Pico threw away his inhibitions, and just ran up to hug Boyfriend. Pico buried his face in the crook of Boyfriend's neck, and dug his fingers into his blue hair. He was there, they actually found him. And he'd be damned if he lost Bf again. His own face was wet with tears. "G-god Damn it you- you fucking idiot. Don't scare me like that again. F-fuck." Pico's voice shook, sobbing, his cries making it harder to speak. Whitty let go of Boyfriend's torso, instead wrapping his arms around both Pico and Boyfriend, trying not to cry himself (emphasis on tried). A few of his hot, orange tears fell onto the other two boys, but neither seemed to notice.
After a few moments, Whitty and Pico pulled back from the hug. Pico kept his hands on Boyfriend's shoulders, he didn't want to let go. His attention was once again brought to the dampness of Bf's hoodie, he knew it had to be blood. "B… let's go home." Apparently that was the wrong thing for Pico to say, as soon as he did, Boyfriend panicked again. "I-! N-no! I don't want to see her again please Pico-! Don't make me go back!" Pico rushed to ask what was wrong, startled by Bf's reaction. "B, who are you talking about?" Pico gently grabbed Boyfriend's hands, he wanted to be comforting, but that changed when he noticed Bf heavily flinched, and his hands were wet. Pico gently brought Bf's hands into the light. His hands were cracked and bleeding. Badly. The skin and flesh looked like it was just barely holding on to the bones. Some of the blood was dry and crusty, while some of it was fresh. Pico furrowed his brow. "B… what happened?" Bf began crying again. "Gf.. She.." Bf's voice trembled, his lip quivered. He started sobbing. Whitty's orange eyes widened, in a spur of the moment, Whitty gathered both the shorter males in his arms. Lifting them off the ground and standing at his full height. "Hey Pico, why don't we all head to your place?" Pico nodded, still holding Bf's hands. "You can stay with me, B. I promise I won't take you to Girlfriend. She won't even know we found you, okay?" Bf looked into Pico's white eyes, then Whitty's orange ones, before slowly nodding and letting out a barely audible "okay". 
Whitty carried them to Pico's car, he decided to sit in the back with Boyfriend so he wouldn't be alone while Pico drove the car (they moved the front passenger seat as far up as they could to make more legroom for him). Bf was huddled to Whitty's side, the tall, warm, bomb man made him feel safe. Whitty had one of his arms wrapped around Boyfriend, hoping to comfort him. The bluette was still crying, but not as much as before, he seemed to have calmed down slightly. No words were exchanged during the car trip to Pico's house. 
Once they arrived, Whitty gently carried Bf into Pico's house and carefully set him down on Pico's couch. Pico ran off to grab his first aid kit from his hallway closet, mentally preparing himself for how wrecked the rest of Bf's arms might look. He didn't want to end up freaking out and scaring Bf more. Pico moved to sit next to Boyfriend on the couch. "Okay B, show me what hurts." Boyfriend seemed hesitant, Whitty, who was sitting at Bf's other side, rubbed his back. The small gesture seemed to comfort Bf a little, and he removed the black hoodie he was wearing, hissing as the fabric pulled away from his wounds; he was only wearing a tank top under it, so the damage to his arms was revealed easily. Boyfriend's arms looked worse than his hands did somehow. Cracked and bleeding, in some places, it looked like the skin had stitches only to fall apart more and undo them. He could see the bone in Bf's elbow and shoulder. 
Pico felt sick. It was a mystery how Boyfriend wasn't just screaming in anguish. Pico took a quick glance at Whitty, who also looked appalled at the gorey sight before them. Pico looked into Boyfriend's teary eyes, then back at his arms. "We should take ya to the hospital." Pico said nervously, his gauze and hydrogen peroxide couldn't fix this. "I-I already tried that. They couldn't- *sniff* they couldn't stop it. I-It's magic." Bf confessed, Pico noticed Whitty's expression changed from shock to sympathetic. Whitty gestured to Bf's arms "Was this Girlfriend's magic?" Boyfriend nodded. Pico felt rage bubbling in his core. His attempt to keep calm and collected was thrown out the window. "Did she do this on purpose!? That's it! Imma beat her ass!" Pico whipped out his gun. Furious. "I'm gonna pump that bitch full of lead!" Pico was about to storm out his house when both Boyfriend and Whitty stopped him. "PICO DON'T!" Bf and Whitty said in unison. Whitty gripped Pico's arm (which was super easy seeing as his hand was big enough for his fingers to wrap all the way around Pico's forearm), and Boyfriend hugged him, burying his face in the crook of Pico's neck. "Why the fuck are you two stopping me!?" Pico shouted, still undeniably pissed. "Please don't go, Pico!" Bf cried. "Listen dude, as much as I'd love to see ya give that girl more holes than swiss cheese, if you even try it, her family will kill you. Plus, if ya went to her now, they'll know we found Bf, and who knows what they'd do to him then!"
Pico hated to admit it, but Whitty was right. He'd just make it worse by confronting Girlfriend. Her family was powerful, her parents would definitely come after all of them if he tried to do anything to her. His anger was screaming at him to go and blast her with his Uzi, but reason objected to it. Pico sighed, and put his gun on the table. "Alright. Yer right. I'm sorry." Bf hugged him tighter. "Thank you." He said quietly. "Well, if I can't shoot that bitch, let's at least try to solve… this." Pico gestured towards Bf's arms, which were bleeding all over him in the hug. Whitty rubbed the back of his head, unsure. "Well, demon magic did this in the first place, maybe another demon can undo it?" Whitty offered, Pico thought about it, it made sense. If hospitals couldn't treat a curse, might as well try magic. "I can't say you're wrong, the issue now is finding a demon who would be willing to help. The only other demon I know I wouldn't trust as far as I could throw her. Do you know anyone?" Whitty shook his head. The three stayed quiet. Pico wracked his brain for anyone who might be helpful. Maybe his dad knew someone who could help? Probably not. His brother definitely hung out with demons and whatnot, but most people his brother hung out with were bad news. Not to mention he hasn't spoken to his older bro in a long ass time. That was a no go. Who else could he ask? Pico glanced at Whitty, he appeared to be going over various options in his head too. They were silent until Boyfriend chirped in. "I might know someone. Maybe tomorrow we can find her?" Pico shrugged. "I guess that's just what we gotta do. For now though, you should go get cleaned up. You remember where the shower is?" Bf nodded, and started walking down the hallway. "I'll bring you some clean clothes you can borrow!" Pico called, Bf replying with a distant "Thank you" before disappearing around the corner. 
Pico made eye contact with Whitty. He might not have known this guy too well, having only met him a couple weeks ago, but the time they spent working together trying to find Boyfriend made Pico appreciate him. He wanted to know more about him. Whitty was so helpful, even managing to calm Pico down when he was two seconds away from snapping. He found the gentle giant fascinating and comforting. "Hey Whitty?" Whitty let out a curious "hmm?" 
"I just wanted to say thanks.. For everything. You've been really helpful and great and.. I really appreciate it." Pico's earnest tone made Whitty's cheeks glow slightly. "It's no problem. You don't have to thank me or anything. I just.. Wanted Bf to be safe too, ya know?" Pico nodded understandably. "I wish we coulda met under better circumstances. You seem like a great guy, I uh… I'd really like to keep hangin out with you. Maybe once we get this whole curse thing sorted out, we should do something together? Maybe all three of us should." Pico felt color flooding in his own cheeks now, feeling somewhat nervous. Whitty smiled. "I'd like that." Pico let out a small chuckle. "Cool. Cool. Sounds good." 
An awkward lull took the conversation, neither saying much. Whitty eventually stood up and stretched, feeling a bit sleepy. "Well, I should head out. I'm gettin tired. Want me to meet up with you guys here tomorrow?" Pico hesitantly nodded, he almost offered to just let Whitty stay the night, but if he had plans to go home, who was Pico to stop him? "Sounds good. Imma uh.. Get some clothes for B." Pico attempted to make the situation less awkward, he was never good at goodbyes. "Yeah, that'd be good. I'll see you tomorrow." Whitty and Pico parted ways after that. Now, Pico just had to help Boyfriend. Hopefully this woman he was talking about can reverse whatever demon spell was on him..
Pico let Bf borrow his spare pajamas, and threw Bf's clothes in the wash. He wasn't sure if the washing machine was gonna be able to get all the blood out. As he was going through it, he noticed that the inside of Bf's jeans were bloody too, the curse must've been affecting his legs as well. Pico kept the 1st aid kit out, that way he could bandage what was left of Boyfriend's limbs. While Pico tended to the bluette's wounds, he made small talk with Boyfriend, hoping it would put him at ease. It seemed to help. Eventually it became time to turn in for the night. Both boys were exhausted.
 "Hey Pico?"
 "Yeah B?" 
"Can I sleep in your bed with you? I don't wanna be alone."
"... Yeah. C'mere."
"Thanks Pico."
"No prob. G'night B."
"Good night Pico."
74 notes · View notes
factual-fantasy · 4 years
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I got 25 asks that took me WAY too long to reply to! :}
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I have two top favorite episodes, the cone snail episode and the beluga whales episode.
When it comes to my favorite part of both episodes..?
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..Not happy parts...
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I have absolutely no idea what you just suggested.
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(Referring to this post)
Thank you! That was the intention. :} I was worried that their faces all looked weird..
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You want to learn more? Man.. maybe I should post that headcannon draft..
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Yeah haha, this blog has taken quite the U-turn hasn’t it? I’m just glad everyone seems okay with it so far. <:} I’m excited for season 5 also! I hope it comes out soon! :D
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THANK YOU, I WILL CHERISH THIS LOVE YOU HAVE GIVEN ME FOREVER
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Yes and no.
Does he think of his crew as children? Absolutely not. They are all fully grown, intelligent and capable adults, and he darn well treats them like it.
But you bet that if one of them is in danger or is frightened, he’s dropping everything he’s doing and rushing to their aid as if they’re his cub that just wondered out onto the highway.
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ME TOO! I always felt like he had this fatherly vibe to him with some professionalism sprinkled on top. Like he’s always looking out for his team because he cares for them and worries about them, but its kind of disguised as him just doing his job as the Captain.
I plan to draw more Protective Barnacles because its my jam, so don’t worry! That side of you will have some more fuel soon XD. And thank you for all the compliments! :}
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Daww thank you, it twaz nothin. I’m just glad that people want to see my art.
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Well, taking everyone into consideration, the tallest is Captain Barnacles, and the shortest is Tomminow. (This little guy 👇)
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The Vegimals aside though? Peso is the shortest. 
(And thank you! I’m glad :})
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Honestly? Awful. I feel like absolute garbage, I just hope this will all finally go away soon.
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Not really no, and no thanks on the cookies, I shouldn’t eat anything until I get super hungry because everything gives me stomachaches.. But a hug would sure be nice right about now.
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I can give you a link to their wiki pages if that’ll help, I’m not really good with my words and you can learn everything you need to know about them there. <:}
Captain Barnacles (The polar bear guy)
Kwazii (The orange pirate cat guy)
Peso (The bby Penguin doktor)
Shellington (Tall Otter boi)
Dashi (Doge girl with skirt)
Professor Inkling (Fancy squik)
Tweak (Green bunny country gal chick)
The Vegimals (Little veggie dudes)
All the Gups (Metal fishes)
The Octopod (Momma metal squik)
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Whos the youngest Octonaut? Well, if we’re not including the Vegimals, I’d say its probably Peso. And the oldest is most likely Professor Inkling.
Does anyone have claustrophobia? Yes! Captain Barnacles canonically does. He got trapped in a deep hole in some icy caves as a cub, since then he’s been afraid of tight and closed in spaces. I have extended on that fact and thought of many different scenarios relating to the aftermath of the Octonauts movie, but you know.. still not confident in all this Octonauts stuff so I haven’t posted my headcannons yet. <:/
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Novelas translated into English means Soap Opera.
You think so? I feel like that’s not Kwazii’s thing, he’d probably like horror movies and action filled movies. But Peso probably would like them not gonna lie, him and Dashi would probably watch them together.
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Well, in my draft post I’ve got two headcannons for her so far.
Tweak likes sleeping in the launch bay for the #1 reason that she can hear the water sloshing around in the bay. Which mimics the sound the water in the swamp used to make when she lived there with her Dad.
Tweak gets bad migraines when she’s sick, so the other Octonauts have to do a lot to accommodate her. Because the beds in the med bay aren’t that soft, she prefers to sleep in her room when she’s sick. But then the usually comforting sounds of the water in the launch bay become pain inducing. So the launch bay is emptied of all its water, the lights are shut off and, unless its an emergency, no one is allowed in the launch bay until she recovers. 
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I looked it up, and its true.
KWAZII WAS A GIRL IN THE BOOKS?? THEN WHY IS HE A BOY IN THE SHOW?? WHY DID THEY CHANGE THAT?? WH??? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I like this Kwazii more than I would any other version of him, but still, WHY’D THEY CHANGE THAT?? IM GLAD THEY DID BUT WHY??
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Hmm.. let me think...
Captain Barnacles most likely doesn’t ever have uninterrupted free time, and even when he does, he probably still prefers to be up in HQ where anyone can find him if they need him. But lets say for the sake of it that he has some free time and he takes it. He’d probably either want to play his accordion, or want to read a book.
I feel like there’s a lot of different things Kwazii likes to do in his spare time, but goofing around in the Gup-B is probably his favorite.
Peso probably likes to do puzzles and play his xylophone.
Dashi probably reads books while listening to music. How she does both of these things at the same time I have no idea.
Tweak probably plays video games.
Professor Inkling and Shellington both probably read books in their free time.
I’m not too sure what the Vegimals would do in their free time though..
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Oh yes, indeed it does. 
Before becoming the Captain of the Octonauts, Barnacles had to ask himself,  “Am I really ready to be their leader?” Can he handle managing a team of that size? Can he react to situations fast enough and make the right choices? He thought it through and believed that yes. He was ready.
But he wasn’t. He wasn't prepared for that gut wrenching anxiety when one crew member goes missing. He wasn't prepared for the crippling heat that most everywhere else has compared to his home. He wasn't prepared to become so attached to his crew that the thought of something happening to them keeps him awake for nights in a row. He wasn’t prepared for that overwhelming nausea of missing home and his sister. 
There was a lot he didn’t know. They’d all turn to him when something went wrong and ask if everything's going to be okay. He’d say “don’t worry, its all going to be okay.” but he’s just as unsure as everyone else.
Now don't get me wrong, he’s not this completely hopeless and unexperienced Captain that bit off more than he could chew, no. There’s just somethings he didn’t think about before becoming Captain of the Octonauts.
Now usually he can really keep himself composed almost always. He’s very level headed and very good at thinking his way through things, But sometimes? He just.. needs a break. He usually cant get a break because he’s the Captain and always needs to be alert, so everyone else that sees it usually tries to help.
Some crew members, like the Vegimals and Kwazii, have a habit of following the Captain around when they see that he’s tired to keep an eye on him. Others like Shellington and Dashi tend to give him space and keep things quiet for him. Some crew members, like Peso and Tweak tend to clean up around the place to take some weight off the Captains shoulders, they all help him out in some way.
Professor Inkling will sometimes find an excuse to pull him aside to have some tea with him. They’ll sit and talk for a bit but then he’s back up on his feet and back to work. This poor bear..
..hold on.. was this a drawing suggestion?
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Dashi and Tweak would probably hang out in Dashi’s room and goof around. Not sure what they’d do.. maybe read, talk, play games or.. idk pillow fights? I don’t know what girls do on a girls night.
As for everyone else? I also am not sure, I don’t know what all those characters with all their clashing personalities would do on a boys night. Maybe they would all watch a movie? All attempt bake something obnoxious together? They seem like the kind of characters that would do that.
I’ve never been to a girls night or a guys night, so I don't really have much of a base to go off of.. but both groups would probably get together and do something they’d all enjoy. Guys maybe a funny movie, and the girls just talking and reading books? <:D 
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For real that’d be hilarious. Imagine if their voices were deep and gruff too but they just make them sound high pitched for fun?
Dude that’d be so funny. Like Kwazii’s up to his shenanigans again blabbering on about some sea monster or what have you, and Tunip out of nowhere just goes,
“Kwazii legit stop, we all know that you’re just talking about some ordinary sea creature that pirates interpreted as a sea monster.“
The whole crew gon be like
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If this game existed in their world and they all played it.....
Captain Barnacles would make it through a pacifist run and would be satisfied. He’s some kind of weirdo who doesn’t think of characters as real people and doesn’t obsess over them and cry about them. Overall he thinks the game is pretty neat, but probably not his type of game.
Kwazii would want to test his skills by attempting a genocide, but his heart of gold would get in the way and he wouldn’t be able to complete it. He’d feel terrible for killing goat mom, reset and go hard pacifist next round. Overall he thinks the game is awesome.
Peso would want to talk to every character so they’d all be included in the story. He’d go full pacifist and cry over the story and its characters. Overall 10/10 for him.
Dashi would probably cry over the game a lot and would never attempt a genocide run because the characters are now her family.
Shellington would hate the fighting parts so would delay those bits by walking around and talking to characters over and over again.
Tweak would go through a neutral run because she sometimes accidently kills weaker monsters. Overall she loves the story and its characters, 10/10 would play again.
Professor Inkling would become invested in the story I bet. Complimenting the story arcs for the characters and its creative game play. But I feel like he’d only play it once and probably wouldn’t beat it, but would have fun with it none the less.
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Thank you!!!♡♡♡ Man, I never expected such a positive response to switching to Octonauts, I cant believe everyone is so excited about it! I’m so glad you like my Octonauts art, that really makes me feel better and like what I’m drawing is worth while. ɷ◡ɷ
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Aww I’m glad! And oh yeah, the animals at the end were always scary. Remember the Boo the spookfish?
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Boo was a cute little googly eyed fishy boi who was just so sweet and somft until the creATURE REPORT AND I-
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THAT’S MY QUE TO YEET THE COMPUTER
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Dawww thank you!! I tried. <:}
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jamestrmtx · 4 years
Text
Fairytale Complex - [Undertale | Sans x Reader]
[Gender Neutral, Frisk's Parent Reader | Slow Burn]
Chapter Three | sans. (Part 1 of 3)
[First] | [Previous] | [Next]
meet me by the train station.
the place's bustlin' and tori's here with me, just in case you're worried 'bout meeting a stranger all alone.
That's surprisingly thoughtful.
And I'm guessing Tori means Toriel?
The goat lady who looked after Frisk?
yup.
she's gotta go deal with some legal stuff 'bout us living on the surface, so she can't stay for long.
but she'll still be here by the time you get there.
Hmm…
Now that just makes me more suspicious of you.
Tell me why it's important that only you specifically want to talk to me about this?
Doesn't Toriel know about what happened down there, too?
yeah, but…
i need to talk to you about somethin' else.
stuff that'll probably be a lil' difficult for me to explain, but that you should still know, being frisk's parent and all.
Now I'm curious.
I'm stuck in some traffic, but I should be there soon.
Would it still be okay with Toriel if I get there in the next ten to fifteen minutes?
textin' while drivin'?
My aunt chose to drive me here.
'Cuz she also said she doesn't trust the whole situation much.
heh.
alright.
tori says it's fine. she doesn't need to leave in the next hour so…
see ya soon, (l/n).
See you soon, mister Serif.
"How's he gonna know who you are if only you have a picture of him?" you aunt asks, eyes locked on the road. Her bright red nails, just as flashy as the rest of her outfit, glisten under the sun, fantasy jewellery and wrist watch doing the same. Her tanned skin almost glows with health in comparison to yours, yet to be healed from the past two months of tension and wait. There's also her signature and almost hair salon professional level of cleanliness when it came to grooming her hair, making her overall, outer appearance far more different and striking when compared to you.
"(Mom/Dad)'s all over the news now!" Frisk says, answering her question before you can even word your thoughts out in mind, too busy noticing how much you've let yourself go in so short of a time.
You plug your phone to the car charger and meet with the side view of your aunt's face. "Like Frisk said. The guy I'm meeting says my face's been thrown out on the news a lot lately, so he already knows what I look like." You pull down the mirror and take a quick look at yourself, eye bags and stress acne now partially covered with a cheap, (s/t) foundation and expression made to look less tired thanks to a full eight hours of sleep. Still, you're far from looking anywhere near to the days before Frisk's disappearance or all the pictures displayed on the news, these from a similar time. All the stress and constant sorrow was still present on most of your features, from something as subtle as the loss of brightness in your eyes to something as noticeable as the drag in your walk and the small slump in your posture.
"Do I look okay, auntie?" you ask, taking advantage of a stop sign.
Brenda spares a quick but meaningful glance at you and a small smile manages to show on her face. She stays quiet even as her eyes go back to facing the road. At a second stop, this one caused by a red light, she looks at you again, saying, "Why are you so concerned about that, dear? I get wanting to look well and dignified for meeting new people, but this is the third time you've asked me today." She giggles when Frisk does, both apparently sharing the same thought. "You look fine, by the way. Though a bit of rest could do you good." The light changes and she carries on driving, slowing down and turning on the signal when she sees the train station to her left. "How many hours do you work, by the way? If you're still working overtime, you should stop that now. Not only for my dear grandchild's sake, but for you to get your long overdue beauty sleep."
"...Sixty hours a week?" you mutter, already anticipating a dramatic reaction from her. Even Frisk seems to notice your answer's not favourable enough to her, so they brace themselves by grabbing on to their seatbelt and pretending they're not paying attention to the conversation anymore.
Staying true to herself, Brenda almost slams the brakes just as she's halfway into parallel parking and snaps her gaze over to you, eyes wide and mouth agape. "What?!"
"Sixty a week," you repeat, louder now. "I had to get my mind off Frisk going missing somehow, so I... took that chance to save up some more by working overtime."
"That's fifteen hours too much, dear." She frowns. "That's either twelve hours a day for five days a week, or working non-stop every day for at least eight to nine hours! No wonder you look so stressed. What about your friends? Your family? Your coworkers?" She seems to notice why you've lowered your voice and does that herself, reminded over Frisk's presence at the back seats. "Oh, honey…" She sighs. "Did you really just work, eat, and sleep those two months they were gone?"
"...Maybe," you reply, looking away from her. "I just didn't know what else to do, and having free time for myself made me feel more guilty about it. The only time I sat down was to watch some TV for when I couldn't sleep at night."
Your aunt finishes parking and lets out another sigh. A gentler look crosses her eyes and she gives in, letting her body relax. "Do you have enough to get by? Please, be honest with me so I can help you out. Alright?"
You smile back at her and nod. "I have enough now. I'm pretty sure I can get by with a regular schedule again."
"With weekends off?"
"With weekends off."
Her smile grows and she unlocks the car, allowing you to step out. "Be careful out there, alright? Just make sure to call me and I'll head back here straight away if anything strange comes up."
"Thank you, auntie. So I'll pick up Frisk at five?"
"Oh, there's no rush. You can always stay the night, anyway!"
After a nod, you get down from the car, open the back door, and climb onto the empty seat left next to Frisk. 
"See you later, dear." 
You kiss their cheek and look at the phone resting in their hands. There were plenty of questions you wanted to ask them, such as who was Alphys and how she'd gained enough knowledge to develop something with that level of technology, and why it still worked up here despite being programmed to function at the Underground. You remind yourself of the people waiting for you at the train station and wrestle those curiosities down, setting all questions aside for later. "Be good, okay?"
They nod, sign a "Love you!" with their hand, and hold you back to give you a yellow sticky note, folded in two. "Give this to him. And don't forget he can be unexpected sometimes!"
You sign an "I love you, too" back to them, take the note, and step out of the car, waving at them and your aunt before closing the door and pocketing the note away. It stays unread, and while you'd like to know what's written on it as well as the reasons for Frisk warning you about meeting with that monster in particular, they'd specified it was for more sillier reasons, like that of meeting up with a stand up comedian, or more frankly put: a clown or a court jester.
Now alone, you take out your phone and check the messages, a new one from 'Mister Serif' showing up.
hey, uh…
tori hadda go.
an emergency happened, so now she's gotta rush off to the department to see what's up with some documents she turned in.
i know this seems sus as hell, so just wait for me at a more open area, alright?
stick to anybody you're comfortable with and we'll meet there.
I'm honestly touched at how much you're worried about this.
Though all that just makes me think I'm being catfished even more now.
Are you for real, mister Serif?
Can someone be as observant and thoughtful as you appear to be?
see for yourself.
>> Attachment - 1 image
You can't avoid being taken aback when the monster sends you a picture of himself. It's a definite recent one, given he's sitting by a bench close to the train tracks. He holds up a shaka sign with one hand and a coffee cup on the other. A grin decorates his face and the bright lighting shows the picture was taken just now, sun rays piercing through the windows.
I'm somewhat convinced.
need more proof?
Who are you, my Cinder match?
if u wanna.
Oh God.
You're killing me.
inna good way?
Perhaps.
You stop yourself when you realize you're on the verge of flirting with someone you haven't even met in person yet, let alone introduce yourself properly to. The picture he'd sent doesn't help either, as you can only begin to question yourself and your morals over having found him attractive for a split second. While it could have just as easily been the surprise of him sending a picture out of nowhere, it could've also been how laid-back he seemed in that picture, striking a shaka sign that made him look just like a surfer dude and a coffee cup to contrast with that vibe, adding a spark of the typical college student you saw at campus, his hoodie and sneakers only adding to that feeling.
It's then that you realize something's off.
If he was holding a cup with one hand and a sign in the other…
Then who took the picture?
Though you're pretty sure you're overthinking the situation now, you're still better safe than sorry and take advantage of your recent fooling around with him to pass that worry off as a joke.
Wait a minute, mister Serif.
yeah?
If you're holding a cup with one hand and striking a pose with the other, then who took the picture?
Or did you use your magic for that?
a random dude who looked trustworthy enough took it for me.
he's one of those guys who're totally ok with us living here at the surface, so he just snapped the picture for me and even asked if it was for a date i was gonna meet and all.
no magic needed.
And I'm the President of the United States.
But, seriously now…
Are you for real?
yeah.
>> Attachment - 1 image
The picture displays him with a bearded, brown skinned man clad in a suit and holding a suitcase, looking ready for work. Still, his smile shows little to no seriousness and instead displays youth and content over having his picture taken with a potential friend. His height surpasses the monster's by half a foot, though when you compare it to the rest of the people in the background, it's clear Serif is simply shorter compared to the average human. You try not to let your eyes linger too much on the monster when you're done looking at the man, not wanting to fall into the trap of your mind having found him attractive earlier ago. Still, you can't help yourself and take a more thorough look at him again, seeing him now with his eye sockets closed, almost mimicking a pair of eyelids squinting in joy. His arm's hung over the man's shoulders, and vice-versa. 
i made a new pal.
"meet up already!" - his words, not mine.
Trying to be smooth, huh?
maybe.
is it working?
Somewhat.
But...
Strange Cinder date vibes aside,
I'm almost there.
aight.
can't wait to meet ya, bud.
You slip the phone back in your pocket and go up the stairs of the train station, stopping when you make it to the line of benches close to the tracks. True to his word, the skeleton sits on one of them and the man who'd taken a picture with him is now waving at him, seemingly saying his goodbyes and headed off to work. You approach the station one careful step after the other, pace slowing down more and more as you feel a sudden awkwardness slip on your shoulders.
Your texts sent off vibes you didn't want present now that you were about to meet him in person. You were still worried about what happened with Frisk a few days ago, and how their happiness pretty much froze when being asked if the monsters had treated them well during their time at the Underground. The one you were about to meet could very well be one of those who'd hurt them, so you brace yourself and try not to be swayed by the softer atmosphere present during your texting with him. You acknowledge the man who'd taken his picture with a wave and a smile back at him. Then, you continue walking and finally approach the bench.
"It's nice to meet you, mister Serif." You acknowledge him with a wave, unsure of how friendly you can be with him.
"Likewise, pal." He holds a hand out to you, bringing forth the warning Frisk had given to you about him.
Out of all the things Frisk had warned you about, it was to be careful around the skeleton, but primarily due to how he seemed to be the type to joke around and prank people often. One thing in particular you were warned about was in shaking hands with him, so right as he offers his hand out to you and just as you're about to reach out, you miss his hand, take a step closer, and pull him along for a hug instead. You then unfold the sticky note and press it against his back with enough pressure for him to feel it and let go when you're done.
"Frisk warned me about you, and even though they haven't told me anything I should be worrying about yet, I do know I should be careful for other reasons. And they told me to give that note to you, by the way."
You sit down and watch as the monster attempts to get the sticky note unstuck, his short height proving to be a disadvantage, as it also comes with shorter arms. He goes as far as to use his magic to get it out, leaving you to bite back a smile and wonder if you've been too rude with him just now. Still, you wait and keep your eyes on the train tracks while he reads the note you've left for him.
"Not gonna say anything about it?" you ask, surprised to hear nothing from him even as he slips the note in his pocket.
"Patience, pal," he replies, words followed with a chuckle and continued with a wink. "Just take it as some friendly payback on my part -- Now we're even." He sits back down and meets with your eyes, his expression changing from humoured to stern at the drop of a hat. "So, what you're sayin' here is the kid hasn't said much about me yet?"
"No," you reply, hesitating. You fight between keeping a smile and a frown. "They've been awfully quiet after I asked them if there were any people down there who treated them badly." You catch yourself becoming emotional, so you breathe and blink a few times to fight that back. "It...  It feels like they shut themselves away from me, and now I'm not too sure about how to approach the situation anymore." You stop to catch your breath again, feeling yourself grow anxious already. "They can talk non-stop when it's about all the good things Toriel, Alphys, Papyrus, and… And even what you did for them, but whenever I ask if there was anything that made them feel unsafe, they… They bottle up and run off to do whatever chore there's left to do around the house."
A gust of wind helps freshen up your burning face, product of a train stopping nearby. You wait for him to speak up, body tensed all the while.
"Y'know, I…" The monster sighs, faces down, and rubs the back of his neck, looking lost in thought. "I think I can answer that for ya, but it's gonna be a bit of a long story." He glances at his phone for a moment, seemingly to check the time, and later adds, "Wanna head out somewhere to eat? We can talk about it there over food and drinks. Better than talkin' on an empty stomach, don't you think?"
Despite how somber the mood's become, that trademark grin of his you've already grown used to seems to stand out a lot more now, bringing forth a genuine, welcoming expression in addition to the offer he'd made to you. "Sure," you reply, smile returning. "And... Sorry for dumping all that on you all of a sudden."
You both stand up and make your way out of the station, walking side by side as you continue with the conversation. 
"It's cool, pal," he says. "I'd be a lot more worried if you didn't worry about it."
[First] | [Previous] | [Next]
-------------------------
This turned out to be a whopping 7k+ word long chapter, so it's been divide into 3 parts (between 2k to 3k words each, which is the usual length of each update).
So... Long story short: there'll be a double update next week in order to post Parts 2 and 3!
Expect the same thing for whenever a chapter exceeds that limit. :-)
103 notes · View notes
themonkeycabal · 4 years
Text
The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, Episode 1 SPOILERS
If you need to blacklist, I will be tagging all things as #tfatws and/or #tfatws spoilers
My roommate keeps calling this The Falcon and the Snowman. I'm not entirely sure it's accidental.
I was going to watch at midnight and then fell asleep. Betrayal. I will not forgive this, brain.
Bucky Barnes character development. Sam Wilson character development. Six full episodes of Bucky Barnes and Sam Wilson. When we watched Civil War, did we think we'd actually be lucky enough to get a buddy idiot cop movie? Let alone six hours of it? #blessed
What are we expecting here? I have no idea, honestly. I think all the clips we've been seeing are from the first couple episodes, so they've hidden any sort of plot from us. We know Baron Zemo's around with his stupid purple ski mask and burning hatred for superheroes and probably specifically for Bucky who he tried (and honestly kind of succeeded, before then ultimately failing dramatically) to set up. And Sharon Carter will turn up at some point. OMG guys, Sharon Carter character development!
I'm just here for the buddy bickering and badassery.
SPOILERS BELOW
New World Order: Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes realize that their futures are anything but normal. *Realize*? lol
Also, it's tagged as "science fiction, action-adventure, buddy" Awww.
Aww, Sam looks sad as he gazes at The Shield.
"How's it feel?" "Like it's someone else's." "It isn't."
That's right, Sam! Listen to that voice. That's yours now, baby.
We're just going to roll right into a mission. Rescuing a Captain Vassant, whose plane fell out of contact shortly after take off, from the ridiculously named group LAF, somewhere over Tunisia. Sam's got to keep LAF from doing bad things and the US Military can't be seen doing anything blah blah blah, violation of treaties, yada yada. And Sam's all "blah blah got it". We're on the same page, Sam and me. Nobody wants to hear it, Briefing Exposition Guy.
We will have a Lt. Torres on the ground following along and offering helpful commentary as they go.
Sam is warned to be subtle as he falls backwards out of the cargo plane in very dramatic fashion and then swoops off on his brightly colored wings. lol
Sam gets to the captain's plane but the pilot is dead and a shady LAF guy is piloting. Oh no. Hey, it's Batroc. Last seen getting his ass kicked by Captain America in "CA: The Winter Soldier". He makes some jokes about their prisoner - presumably Captain Vassant. Awful cocky for a guy with a history of getting stomped on, you know.
Anyway, he's about to get his ass kicked by a Captain America again as Sam breaks into the plane. You might just be using wing shields now, Sam, but you're Captain America in my heart. Also, hey, dumb bad guys, don't open fire with an automatic weapon inside a plane or the ricochets might kill your pilot. And his body will slump forward and put the plane into a steep dive.
Batroc distracts Sam while the bad guys gather up Vassant and jump out of the plane with him. They have wingsuits, but Sam has, you know, wings. And like a jet pack. Don't hit the canyon walls, Sam!
Somehow the bad guys have waiting gunships. Did they expect to jump out of the plane over this canyon? I can only assume. Red Wing takes care of one of the helicopters. Man these guys are a pain in the ass. They wing suit into one of the many many helicopters that just happen to be right in the right spot. They're racing for the Libyan border. Then Sam shows up, they throw Vassant out the copter again — this guy is having the worst day — and glide into another chopper.
Man ANOTHER gunship? The hell? They're causing serious ecological damage to this canyon, what with all the zillionty missiles they're firing at Sam. How strapped is this thing?
LT Torres is trying to keep up, and you know, trying to get Sam to not fly into Libyan territory and cause an international incident or some such. Sam is struck by inspiration and not by a missile. But, the missiles are following Sam and Sam is following Batroc's chopper. Sam zooms through the open doors of the chopper, knocks poor Vassant out of the chopper AGAIN (but then catches him), and LAF blows up their own helicopter. Alas, Batroc escaped.
Sam saves the day and LT Torres is like super excited. Don't break your humvee, Torres.
Torres and Sam stop by a tea shop in Tunis, or somewhere. Sam's trying to fix his tech that got a little shot up and Torres buys the tea. A man comes up and thanks Sam for saving his wife. It's sweet. And then Torres gets up and wanders about a bit with his phone as he exposits about LAF. Is Torres about to become a pin cushion? Only instead of pins it'll be bullets? I'm not feeling good about his continued health. He's too cute and earnest.
Oh, he's looking for some sort of hidden, augmented reality tag on the walls. A red handprint, id'ing some group that calls themselves the Flag Smashers. Bad guys are really scraping the bottom of the evil name barrel. Anyway, they think the world was better during the blip. Nothing says better like mass failure of infrastructure and probably world wide famine. They want a unified world without borders. I have big doubts the world would be a borderless utopia during a blip-like event. Power vacuums invite trouble, seldom unity.
Anyhoo. Sam kind of agrees with me, "every time something gets better for one group, it gets worse for another".
Torres will track the 'online chatter'. But he's also heard some wacky things about Steve Rogers, conspiracy theory stuff, "they think that he's in a secret base on the moon, looking down over us". LOL. What? Is Steve a moon angel now? or Santa Claus? "You didn't like fly him to the moon?" Sam assures him that's all very much silly foolishness. Steve's in Boca working on his tan.
Sam's back in D.C. giving a talk about Steve at the Smithsonian's National Air & Space museum. "And he mastered posing stoically". Hey, I have that picture. Also, RHODEY! Hi Rhodey!
"A few months ago, billions of people reappeared after 5 years away. Sending the world into turmoil." Again. I know this was meant to come out before WandaVision, but timeline-wise this works better.
"We need new heroes. Ones suited for the times we're in. Symbols are nothing without the women and men that give them meaning." Sam holds up The Shield. "I don't know if there's been a greater symbol." Aww, he's retiring the shield. He hands it off to museum people and they put it in a display case. I think Rhodey has some thoughts about this. I suspect Rhodey maybe doesn't agree.
Sam and Rhodey wander through the Cap exhibit and Sam's talking about how when he left (or got snapped, it's not like you had a choice about that, Sam), his nephews were babies and now they're little men. Awww. Rhodey says Sam should bring them to D.C., he'll teach them how to fly, "the right way". lol.
Rhodey says it's crazy to think nobody will be carrying the shield. Sam points out they went 70 years without, so like …
Rhodey wants to know why Sam didn't take up the mantle. BTW, this is a cool exhibit, marvel peeps. Sam says it feels like it belongs to someone else … Steve. Rhodey says everything's broken. Allies are enemies, things are torn apart. People are looking for somebody to make it better. Having made his pitch, Rhodey leaves Sam to stare mournfully at the shield. I think you're afraid to pick up the shield, Sam. Afraid you won't measure up. But, you can do it. I have faith. Also, Steve was kind of a disaster in his own way. He wasn't perfect, which was the point of Steve as a hero. Pick up the shield, Sam.
A fancy hotel, chatting people in the lobby, up to a mezzanine, a group of very Russian oligarch looking dudes and their security. And lo! A metal arm punches through a wall and the Winter Soldier, looking very Winter Soldiery appears and stabs some dudes in the neck. This has a sepia, dream/nightmareness to it. Oh yeah, it's his old shiny silver arm. Totally a nightmare/very bad memory. "Hail Hydra" and he kills the head Russian guy. The poor dude who was just chatting in the lobby is caught trying to get into his door. He swears he didn't see anything, begs for his life and the Winter Soldier shoots him. Bucky wakes up, breathing heavily. Poor Bucky.
Glad he's in therapy. I'm sure goat herding in Wakanda was good and peaceful and all, but, goats will only get you so far. Also glad we've skipped the "wanted terrorist" part and gone on to traumatized hero.
I get the feeling he's not the best patient. He lies to his therapist straight off. Twice. lol. "You're a civilian now. With your history the government needs to know, you're not gonna … [therapist makes stabby motion]." lol (I love this actress by the way. She's been in everything for ages. She's great). "It's a condition of your pardon. So tell me about your most recent nightmare." "I didn't have a nightmare." She starts writing, Bucky objects and tells her she's being passive-aggressive, but he gives in.  
He has a list of amends to make and three rules to follow. He crossed a name off. There's a Hydra pawn who's a senator, he helped her get into office. "After Hydra disbanded, she continued to use the power I gave her." Hmm. He tracks her car and listens in on her plotting to have a congressman killed.
* Rule number one: Can't do anything illegal.
He's hijacked the Senator's car and is remote controlling it, making it drive all out of control and freaking her out. He says he was collecting intel to give to an aide to convict her. Absolutely only did that. Not one illegal thing about that at all, no ma'am.
"Rule number two?" "Hmm. What was rule number two?" "Nobody gets hurt. It's a big one." "Then why isn't it rule number one?" Oh, Bucky, you're a jackass.
* Rule number two: Nobody gets hurt.
"I didn't hurt anybody. Promise." He totally broke a dude's hand and then punched him in the face, knocking him out. I mean, there's levels of 'hurt' I suppose.
"The whole point of making amends is to fulfill rule number three." "Of course I completed rule number three."
* Rule number three: "I am no longer the Winter Soldier. I am James 'Bucky' Barnes. And you're part of my efforts to make amends." He says to the corrupt senator he's just been terrifying. And then he walks away as a tac team pulls up. lol.
What I'm getting from this therapy session is that Bucky is a big fat fibber.
Also he's got a little black book full of names. Including, I see, H. Zemo. That's not going to go as smoothly as taking down a shady government fatcat, I think.
"So you did it all right, but it didn't help with the nightmares?" "Well, like I said, I didn't have any." Fibber.
People wanna help you Bucky and you can trust them. "I trust people," he mutters grumpily. She asks for his phone and he hands it over. Look, lady! Trust! Probably government mandated trust, but still!
"You don't have ten phone numbers on this thing." … I don't have ten phone numbers on my phone. :( "Oh, and you've been ignoring texts from Sam." Well …
"I am the only person you have called all week. That is so sad." lol. Tough love from the therapist. I'm feeling a little judged myself, though. "You're alone." ALRIGHT DON'T RUB IT IN!
"You're a hundred years old. You have no history. No family—" "Are you lashing out at me, doc? Because that's really unprofessional." I love you Bucky, but you are a disaster patient.
Bucky relents. "I'm trying. This is new for me. I didn't have a moment to deal with anything. I had a little calm in Wakanda. And other than that, I just went from one fight to another for 90 years." Get this man a goat farm!
"So now that you've stopped fighting, what do you want?" "Peace." A goat farm. "That is utter bullshit." lol "You're a terrible shrink." "I was an excellent soldier, so I saw a lot of dead bodies and I know how that can shut you down. And if you are alone, that is the quietest, most personal hell." Get some friends, Bucky. "I know you've been through a lot. But, you've got your mind back. You're being pardoned. These are good things. You're free." "To do what?"
On the streets of Brooklyn. Bucky breaks up an argument between neighbors about trashcans. Hey, Bucky has a friend! Yori Nakajima who's probably like 80+. Did you babysit him back in the day, Buck? har har. They were going to meet for lunch, but some punk named Unique was putting his trash into Mr. Nakajima's trash can and just derailed the whole day. The horror. No joke, though, people get so nutted up about that. It's weird to me. Of course, I did also have a neighbor who never put out his trash for pickup and just snuck out at night before trash day and distributed his garbage into in other people's bins. Cheapass.
"Hey man, I'm Unique. Like Monique but it's got a 'u' in there for uniqueness." Yeah, you should have let Yori smack him, Buck.
Well now Yori is just not in the mood for lunch. Bucky tries to persuade him, but one grumpy old man out grumps the other. "But Izzy. We always go to Izzy on Wednesday. What if I buy?" "Fine. But no talking." lol. BFFs!
Yori is looking at the obituaries. "Look, nobody made it past 90 this week." Bucky tsks "So young, such a shame."
Bucky kind of smiles at the girl behind the counter at the sushi joint, Yori tells him he should ask her out. Bucky makes a "are you nuts, shut up" face. That doesn't stop Yori. "He would like to take you out on a date. Maybe to bingo or a night of pinochle." You're a wild man, Yori!
She's down by it, though, and she and Yori hammer out the details while Bucky's like uh, okay, so wow, that's happening. "There's a dance to these things. You can't … you gotta warm up and I haven't danced since 1943."
Yori sees something and suddenly gets sad. His son loves red bean mochi. His son was a consultant, working abroad and he was killed. Oh. Oh Bucky, why you gotta … Yori's son was the innocent witness he killed at the hotel in his nightmare/memory. "I will never know what really happened to him." Brutal.
Delacroix, Louisana
Sam's on his way home. Wilson Family Seafood. Aww. His nephews are helping mom with the catch. "Blue for the snapper, orange for the white fish," Sam calls out. The boys run over to him. They do look like fine gentlemen. It's weird, Sam, I get it. I recently realized my oldest nephew will be 13 in May and it's like "no, he's only in kindergarten, what are you talking about?"
His sister greets him then tells him he's looking all sneaky. Sam deflects. Their boat has seen better days. The Paul & Darlene. Aww. Is that his parents names? "Baby being held together by duct tape and prayers." Just needs to float long enough for his sister to sell it. But Sam's all, uh I thought we were going to *discuss* that. Uh oh, family drama. "We did, and then you were off fighting Dr Space Cape or whatever (lol), while I was holding it together for five long years." Ouch.
Sam is not down by this selling the boat thing. His sister doesn't seem to think they're in a position to hold on to it. Also, she'd really like to not hash this out on the pier with like twenty other people around, Sam.
They get into more of an argument on the boat. The family biz is not doing well financially. Sarah won't let Sam help for some reason, and he makes some comment about the house and loans and she punches him in the chest. lol "I forgot how hard you hit."
Sam insists they can turn it around, consolidate loans. And she's all, been there done that, I've come to terms with this. He's a persistent little jerk. This is such a perfectly sibling argument. Notably he has moved himself out of punching range.
Aww, she wants to believe he can save the boat, but she has DOUBTS.
Back in Brooklyn. Bucky attempts his date. He turns up at the end of the sushi girl's shift and gives her flowers. "Well, if that's not the most adorably old-fashioned thing anyone's ever done."
They chat while she tidies. He tried online dating oh lol. It didn't take. She tells him "You sound like my dad. Wait how old are you?" "Hundred and six." Oh yeah, what a funny joke. Next she wants to know why he's wearing gloves. "I have … um … poor circulation." He grimaces at himself and glances out the window. Smooth as silk, Bucky. Smoooooth.
"Let's play a game." Now, I'm thinking like some weird dating word/get-to-know-each-other game or something. I don't know. But, nope, she means Battleship. lol. I like her.
The drinking game version of battleship. Bucky sucks at it. "You sure can drink." "Yeah, well." Super assassin, unfair advantage.
We're just going to rub in this whole The Winter Soldier killed Yori's son thing, as she says it's nice that he's spending time with the old man. Since he was all messed up after his son was murdered and how it was extra hard because he didn't know what happened. I'm not sure this is healthy, Bucky.
"There's no word for someone whose kids die." Okay, ouch, lady, jeez. Bucky looks like he wants to puke. Or crawl into a deep dark hole. Or something. "Because it's the worst thing that can happen." Bucky nopes right out the front door. So, maybe they should have played pinochle instead.
Bucky goes to Yori. Are you really going to tell this man you murdered his son when you were a brain-washed Hydra assassin? Yori asks how the date was, and Bucky sees a shrine to the man's son in the apartment. Poor Bucky. He makes some excuse about owing Yori for lunch and leaves. Yori's name is in his book of amends. :(
Back in Louisiana. Sam and the kids are packing up meals. His sister maybe wants to sell meals in addition to fish. Sam says they've got to get going to their appointment at the bank. She's says it's in an hour. Sam must be just the worst brother to live with "There's no such thing as on time. You're either early or late. Pick one." Man, no wonder he gets punched.
Switzerland
Lt Torres is walking down a street with an unusually large number of people just sort of milling around in the middle of the street looking at their phones. He's got his kind of hidden, recording. He stops a guy and asks if he knows what they're supposed to be doing. Oh it's the flag munchers, or whatever. There's a weird phony bird whistle and then people gather around a person handing out masks with red handprints on them. His decoy bad guy phone chirps and gives the order to run. A guy jumps out of a nearby building with two huge duffle bags (of money it seems) and walks off while the previously milling people become a seemingly panicked mob, distracting police and whatnot.
Torres tries to arrest the jumper guy, who appears to have some super strength as he kicks a policeman halfway across the street. Torres, you're cute, but not super bright. Torres gets body slammed and then stomped. He survives again, however, defying the odds.
At the bank. The account manager keeps giving Sam the side-eye as he goes through their paperwork. "Do I know you from somewhere." Sam's all modest, "I don't know. Do you?" And then he makes a little wing flappy move with his hands. lol. What a nerd. "Falcon!" Then he takes a selfie with Sam. Sarah is very done with all this. She tries to get them back on track. Account guy wants to know how Avengers make a living. Probably not looking good for your loan, Sam.
"Is there some kind of fund for heroes? Or did Stark pay you when he was around? My condolences, by the way."
Yeah, financially this is looking bad, my dude. "You have no income over the last five years." Well, but, he was blipped. I mean …
Alas, shot down for the loan.
Sam and Sarah argue on the street. Ah, Sam ran off to the Air Force and didn't deal with what was going on at home. Oh my, this is getting ugly. Speaking as someone who got disowned on account of a family business, let me just say, they're not easy. Nuh-uh.
"Half the boat's mine and so is the house. We're not selling our family's legacy." "You gonna do me like what when you know I'm right?"
I get it might be awkward to ask, but I bet you could have asked Pepper for a loan, Sam, and she would have given it to you gladly. Come on, man.
Later. Sam's working on the boat's engine, and it's not cooperating. In the cabin he looks at the family pictures on all the walls. He's having a rough day. About as rough as Torres who texts him to find a secure line and call him along with a selfie of his bruised and battered face. #important (lol, really?)
Sam watches the footage Torres caught and they chat about how Torres was supposed to be doing that stuff online and not getting his face kicked in in Switzerland.
Sarah interrupts and turns on the TV. Some guy is giving a speech about how everybody needs a hero. "We need someone who can inspire us again. Someone who can be a symbol for all of us. So on behalf of the Department of Defense and our Commander-in-Chief, it is with great honor that we announce here today that the United States of America has a new hero." hmm, no comment. Except, you should have taken up the shield, Sam. Now it's Sam's turn to look like he's going to puke. What did I say about power vacuums? Somebody will fill them, whether you want them to or not. 
This new guy looks like a goober. There, I said it.
credits
So … lots of setup. And very clear on the two guys trying to figure out where they fit in this world post blip and big wars. Both of them trying to fix broken families.
Plus a goober in a Cap suit.
So far so good. 
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Text
Insufferable
Chapter two - A king’s duty is a king’s duty
Sander’s sides fanfiction - ‘Off the Devil’s head’ spin-off (can be read as a stand-alone)
Wordcount: 1928
Ship: intrulogical
TW: cursing - a lot of cursing (still Remus, lovlies, get used to it), confusion, cute bickering (I think...?), forests at night, very obvious autistic tics (based on my own, so I know they are real and how they work, in case you’re not sure ^^ I wouldn’t write something that I haven’t checked at least twice with someone who has, or deals with or is deeply interested in this stuff). And I think that’s all. If anything pops up, do let me know :) <3
Summary of the whole story: This might have not been the brightest idea - steeling from a cart right in the fucking smack-dab-middle of the Square. But Remus never claimed his ideas were bright. Never said his words and actions were appropriate either. So how in all off goddamned hell did he find himself sprawled out on a giant comfortable throne instead of a cold and dark (and very drippy) prison cell - with guards actually guarding his safety instead of assuring his imprisonment - is completely beyond him.
Link to AO3 for those who prefer reading there ^^
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Chapter two - A king’s duty is a king’s duty
There’s not a lot of things Logan dislikes. There’s a total of fifteen so far. But disruption of order, change and tall grass is definitely in the top ten. And wouldn’t you look at that?
Green-haired hurricanes are tearing threw his peaceful kingdom, disrupting peace - thus creating an unnecessary change. Which caused his sleepless state, which lead him down a path where he has to hop from foot to foot like a dear, to eliminate any unnecessary contact with grass.
And the fact that all these things alone cause unnecessary stress, let alone combined, just makes it all worse. His movements are more jagged then usual, more frantic. Gestures all over the place in unorganized manors. And his eyebrows are stuck in a constant ‘thinking scowl’ as his advisors call it.
To any other person, his behavior would seem truly strange - Logan can’t say he doesn’t feel a little embarrassed by it, even now that he’s alone. But there are some things that just can’t be helped.
Besides, all of his kingdom know that their king is a ‘little weird’.
Since Logan first sat on the throne - at the mere age of thirteen - everybody’s been in love with their ruler. It sounds a little odd, that they let a thirteen-year-old kid on the throne, but Logan’s never really been a kid. Since when he can remember he read books far too difficult for the usual kid his age, listened in on conversations he probably had no business listening to, let alone understanding. Sat by his father’s side, while he made life-concerning decisions. Watched his mother as she took care of every problem with caution and care not everybody could offer. Although Logan never got around to fully understanding that care, he learned to act the same way. Same words, same gestures. Nobody was worried when the crown got passed down to him. All the people in the kingdom knew they were in good hands.
Logan’s very first mission was learning the name of every single person in town. It wasn’t an easy task, but it wasn’t as hard as someone would expect, since a surprisingly big amount of people shared the same name. And Logan had a really good memory when it came to association. A face to a name. A shape to a math formula. The smell, color, density and overall look to a chemical. And of course, the exact numeric measurement of a star’s whereabouts.
But there was no way of ‘associating’ his way out of this. He had no clue of the density, the weight, the pace, the name, nor the whereabouts of this mysterious disrupter of peace. All he knew was, that his hair was unnaturally green and he looked way too skinny for a wealthy towns-man - which just underlined the reason why he was steeling.
Oh, and let’s not forget he wanted to kiss Logan. Right there on the Square, apparently.
The young king scratched his arm, absentmindedly, trying not to think too much about it. Not that that’s helping. Questions keep popping up, tripping up his sane thought process.
It’s not like Logan liked the idea of the stranger kissing him. He didn’t like to be touched, let alone landing his lips to someone else. But the thoughts didn’t leave him alone.
Maybe that’s why he was here, stepping over unnecessarily high strands of grass in the middle of the night. He might not like the greenery touching him, and the jutting out branches and leaves of trees and bushes cause him immense panic (and make him scratch his exposed body parts like crazy), but he actually likes the forest. It is really calming (for the most part, anyways).
He hoped that this almost-calming surrounding would help him clear his head. But it just seemed to stress him out even more.
The thoughts kept on swiveling in his head - swirling and twirling, not letting the unknown thief out of their claw-clad grasp.
Logan needed to find out the thief’s name. He knows everybody’s name. And if this thief stays close to town, he’s considered a citizen. He needs to learn his name.
Not far from the obsessing king, Remus was lounging out in the hammock he hung outside Matilde’s old run-down cottage. One leg swung over the edge, he swayed from side to side, twisting the silver ring on his slender finger.
Bored out of his mind.
There wasn’t many days, when Remus’s screwed-up brain didn’t come up with things to entertain him; but some days even that head needed some rest, it seemed. Apparently today was one of those days.
Not a single fun thought. Even the inner monologue he never seemed to be able to end, somehow bored him to death. The only thing peeking even the slightest of interest in him, was the constant image of those scarily-blue eyes the king-dude possessed.
Seriously. In all his life, he has never once seen such ocean-blue eyes. Dark and deep, holding many a secret. It made Remus desperate to know each and every single one.
But that was not happening. No matter how much the eyes mesmerized him. How much he couldn’t get them out of his head. (Agh, Jesus fucking Christ those eyes…) There was just no way he could go back to that town.
The king has let him go once (he chalked it up to his good looks, charm and smooth words) and the second time is as likely as Matilde coming back from wherever she fled to.
So here he was. Bored as all hell.
He sighed heavily, wondering what kingdom was next on his agenda tomorrow. When suddenly he heard a scrunch. Then another. And another. This was no squirrel. Remus sat up immediately, eyes darting along the dark forest.
It was so late. What the hell would anybody be doing up at this hour of the night?
He darted out of the hammock - almost falling face first when his foot got caught in the fabric - hiding in the near-by bushes. Thank the lords that he didn’t forget to turn the fucking lights off again.
The scrunching got louder by the second, and Remus crouched lower.
Low muttering drafted into his ears. “…nice of you good sir, but I’ll have to decline. I am not sure that would be appropriate considering we just met…” A dark figure, drafted in shadow came into view. “And besides, you haven’t even introduced yourself. I know the name of every citizen in this kingdom. For the sake of consistency, I would also like to find out yours…” Jesus Christ, who were they talking to?  And what were they doing?!
One leg up in the air, like soldiers marching, then quickly stamped down, hopping to the other. Weird movements all over the place, not even in a straight line, like a sane person. Was this person drunk? They looked like a fucking goat, jumping from one small jutting out pebble on the mountain-side to the other.
The site alone would make Remus want to piss himself, but together with the inconsistent murmuring? He couldn’t hold back the snort.
The figure immediately froze in place. All movement and words falling into still silence. “Who’s there?” They called out cautiously.
Remus bit his tugging lip hard. Fuck.
Well, there was no backtracking now. Besides, it’s not like he was scared. It was more likely he’d scare the crazy-pants over there. So slowly, he razed from his hiding spot with hands in the air and a huge grin on his face. “What are you doing dude? You look like a fucking crazy person.”
“I’m sorry, who are you?” came the person’s answer. Voice laced with nerves.
“Just a random dude in a forest.” Rem shrugged.
“That’s not a very satisfying answer.”
Roman bit back a laugh. Seriously, what the hell? “Don’t worry I won’t hurt you.” he snickered. Then this thought blinked into his head, and as you know, thought’s bring words. Stupid, embarrassing and unnecessary words. “Unless you want me to.” he winked seductively. Then realized the person probably couldn’t even see his face, let alone the wink he just threw at them. Ah well, at least it saved him some embarrassment, when his tongue betrayed him.
Swear to god, the person ‘Eep’-ed at this. He made this strangled sound that sounded like a nervous whine mixed with surprise cut in half and that just made Remus want to laugh even more. “That’s really unnecessary, thank you.” And they’re still being polite! How even…?
Rem couldn’t help it at this point. It was too much. He burst out cackling like to crazy idiot he is. Probably scaring the poor person to death. (But then again, the ‘poor person’ did come wondering into a forest in the middle of the night, muttering to themselves and jumping around like an idiot.)
“Am… You still haven’t answered my question.”
“Oh that’s right…“ Rem’s forhead creased in thought. “…what was the question again?”  
“Who are you.”
“I’m Remus.”
If Logan could allow himself to curse, he would. But he couldn’t so instead he just gave a long exasperate sigh. “And who might that be?”
The stranger stepped closer, allowing the fleeting moon-light to reach his features and gave a big bow. Hand gesture and all. “Me, obviously.” No matter how much he disliked to admit it, Remus was every bit as dramatic as his brother. If not more…
The king’s eyes lit up with recognition (not that Rem could see). Well, guess his duty’s done then - the thief’s name is Remus. Huh…Very interesting.
“Well, now that you know my name, it’d be nice to get yours, pretty.” Rem grinned, daring to get a few more steps in. Bringing him closer to the still standing-frozen person.
From here he could finally see more of them. Well, him. Because apparently the smooth deep voice he was conversing with was the royal-head himself.
And his royal head slanted to the left slightly, eyebrows drawing together. “Why should I give my name to unknown man in the forest?”
“Why should I give my name to some random bloke, then?”
“Because I asked you to?”
Remus wondered what this dude’s problem was. Logan wondered why even wanted to get out of the safety of his chamber in the first place.
“Alright then, weirdo, tell me one good reason why I should answer and you shouldn’t.” Rem crossed his arms over his chest. Yes, he was aware he was talking to the king. But that doesn’t mean he had to play nice.
Rem treats everybody the same way, because that’s how it should be. (Maybe that’s what landed his ass behind bars twice already…)
Logan jutted out his chin. He could use the ‘King-card’ - as his advisor calls it. Could easily force the thief to answer without any objections (that is if he abbeys rules; which he should.) But honestly, Logan felt like doing neither. It was late, and he was supposed to stop obsessing about this whole thing. Which he did. The thief’s name was Remus.
So, as gracefully as a king can, he shrugged. “I don’t have one.”
“Well, shit. Then you ain’t getting my name, darling.”
The royal couldn’t decide whether the thief was that simple-minded or just easily distracted. “You’ve already said your name.”
Our beloved idiot’s expression froze, grin falling. “Ah, fuck.” his shoulders did the same. (In a very overdramatic - and admittedly, impressively flexible - way)
Well, if he wasn’t screwed before, now he certainly was.
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Jesus Christ, I’ve never cursed more in my life and I hate it so much! I don’t curse in real life, not even while texting with friends (I use shit, hell and damn, but that’s about it) and this is killing me on a whole other level! But this is Remus, and I feel like a good Remus requires a hella lot of curses. 
So here we are. Me actually cursing more then my brain can accept it. But at least I get to project on Logan, right? I love autistic Logan, too damn much. He’s too precious. And the greenery thing? Believe me, my mum constantly makes fun of it XD But I don’t mind, I know I look ridiculous.
Anyways! I hope you liked this chap! ^^ I still have no idea where the hell I’m going with this, but I guess we’ll see where we end up. 
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zawadni · 3 years
Note
Okay, everything I say in this is very basic information about the characters that you find out early in their route or you find out at some point while playing anyone else’s route. Nothing is a heavy spoiler that will ruin the story line.
Julien - sexy as fuck I know, but is a whiny bitch and almost all of the fandom can agree he is a bottom or/and submissive. Of course there are people who head cannon otherwise, and that’s okay. I haven’t played his entire route just cuz he isn’t my type personality wise, but basically he is a wanted man of Vesuvia and a plague doctor. He likes spending his time in bars getting drunk and has been known to be a bit of a bard! However he is INCREDIBLY BOOK SMART! Man can read and write which is really great for someone in this setting, is a doctor, and I think he is bilingual if I remember correctly. That might be a popular head cannon. He is a little flirty if I remember correctly!
Asra - magician, cute lamb dude with a pet snake, IS NOT AN INNOCENT LAMB THOUGH. Technically like the 707 or Mammon of the game and loves you in every route. The MC is his apprentice in every route. We often see him visiting the shop the two of you run for brief periods of time before leaving to a mysterious location on a mysterious quest again. Mischievous and romantic. I have played his entire route and I like it but his reversed end is creepy as hell-
Nadia - the countess. Boss bitch. She is a bad ass bitch but so fucking kind and empathetic at the same time. She actually cares about her people and married into the family, does not have any kids, prefers when the MC is direct with her instead of lying or beating around the bush. Loves to tease.
Muriel - MOUNTAIN OF A GENTLE GIANT OF A MAN! I REPEAT- GENTLE GIANT! Big buff awkward man who lives in the woods alone with his chickens and wolf. Very sweet. Very large. Standoffish and cold at first but he opens up to you. He is pretty shy and doesn’t like big crowds- he has an interesting back story though that I won’t get into here.
Lucio - the dead count of Vesuvia. His death is a little bit a part of the storyline for every route and there is a lot more to the story than you think. HE HAS TWO ADORABLE DOGS! I love his dogs. They are hunting dogs and are absolutely adorable. We see them most in his route and Nadia’s route but they make an appearance in every route, they are characters. He himself is arrogant, self centered, overly confident, thinks he is beloved but everyone kind of finds him annoying, and likes goats. He has good points and so far I like his route. He is very prideful. You might not like him in other people’s routes, you’re not supposed to as he is the antagonist, but I’ve found his route to be pretty interesting so far. I’m also a sucker for a man who loves his dogs- dude he treats his dogs better than anyone else. Yes, he is a ghost technically but again, there is a lot more to that story than you think there is.
Portia - best friend. Bubbly, flirty, and so much fun! She will prioritize you and protect you even if she is just Nadia’s favorite servant. Has a kitty named PeiPei! She loves to laugh and is very curious. She doesn’t mind getting into some mischief. Has a brother.
The Arcana story line it’s self is mostly a romantic tragedy. There are adorable and gorgeous CGs you can get and the paid options I HIGHLY recommend saving up for because I’ve found it to be so worth it. You can obviously go back and replay chapters to see paid options and get cgs I think it just costs a key or something.
The arcana is also mostly just story. There is the wheel you can spin daily where your either get coins or a trinket. Collect the trinkets to unlock 3 specific side stories. After you’ve gotten them all and played them all then you can start selling trinkets. You have to sell them in groups of 10 and every 10 gives you 50 coins.
There is the post card game. It’s a mini board game where you can collect post cards from your favorite characters. You get three plays per day and at most can get one post card per play. I always suggest picking what character you go for based on what character you’re able to get to on the first roll. Once you play the game you’ll understand it better, I’m pretty sure they give you a tutorial. If they don’t, watch someone else playing it on YouTube really quick, it’s not hard concept I am just bad at explaining it which is why I’m in even attempting to right now lol.
And there is the daily coins you get when your log in. Every 7 days, instead of coins you get a tarot reading (that you don’t have to use immediately) that can be performed by Asra, Nadia, or Julien. (The original three game characters)
To get keys, it should give you keys after a set amount of hours. However pretty often they find something to celebrate and will have days of infinite keys or giving us keys and coins. It’ll take a little while but I’ve found that it’s one of the more generous games.
If you’re want to know anything else, I will happily share.
thanks dude
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ve1vetyoongi · 5 years
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better with you | ksj - 01
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Chapters: index
Pairing: Seokjin x female reader
Genre: fake dating/arranged marriage!au, smut, angst, humour.
Word count: 19k
Summary: A part time job as a chef at Paradise Resort seems like the perfect way to spend your summer and save up some spare cash to open your own restaurant back home. That is until you cross paths with the CEO’s son who threatens to fire you if you don’t help him inherit his trust-fund-baby-fortune. How? By making you his fiancé. Well, his pretend fiancé at least.
Warnings: oral (f receiving), fingering, multiple orgasms, spanking, semi-public sex.
A/N: uwu hello and welcome to the first chapter of better with you, part of the paradise series! i hope you enjoy reading these characters as much as i enjoyed writing them because they’re some of my favourites 🥺💘 p.s. im honestly not happy with the pacing of this chapter, but i really wanted to share, so bare with me if it sucks!
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Paradise Resort and the people in it are nothing like how you imagined them to be.
Sure, Paradise is a picturesque gated community with sparkling lake views surrounded by pear trees and sprawling green lawns and white stone fountains like the website described. And sure, everyone here drives foreign cars and loiters by the pool on weekdays and drinks bubbly for breakfast from fine China beneath chandeliers which glisten in the morning sun.
But you quickly realise there is something off; something that doesn't quite fit the expectations you had when you arrived here at the start of the summer, wide eyed and excited.
And that something is you.
You aren't one of the balding golfers leisurely steering carts across the perfectly pruned Paradise grass, flirting unashamedly with pretty young women in tennis skirts as they pass. And you aren't one of their wives, leaving lipstick stains on crystal wine glasses in wicker chairs on balconies as they giggle over finger food and afternoon tea and ignorance of their husband's infidelities.
And you certainly aren't the type of girl to spend her summer's horseback riding or wielding badminton bats or sipping copious amounts of white wine, paid for a la daddy's credit card.
No, because you are a culinary major. Nothing more nothing less. And lucky for you, Paradise was hiring - at least for the summer, anyway, and who better to work overtime in the kitchens at the expense of rich dudes other than broke students, right?
While most people came to Paradise to unwind and celebrate another year of prosperity, it was simply your job to watch from the kitchen window, grit your teeth and save enough cash to put towards opening your own restaurant back home.
Which is exactly how you find yourself slaving away over a plate of scallop sashimi on the stickiest day of August as the kitchen gets ready for the biggest event in Resort history — at least according to your fellow summer employee and designated dish washer duty-man Park Jimin, who seemed to be a constant fountain of gossip -- a trait which you secretly liked him for, despite feigning disinterest in his tittle-tattle.
"Do these people even know what good food is?" You frown at an underwhelmingly small plate of goat cheese salad as you wipe the edge of the plate with a cloth. "They can't seriously want to eat this. Don't they ever just, like, want a burger or something?"
"You're just noticing this place is bonkers?" Jimin snickers behind you, hoisting his weight onto the counter and pulling a grimace of his own when he lay eyes on the limp pile of lettuce leaves they dare to refer to as a meal here. "I saw someone order dessert for breakfast yesterday. Rich people have no rules, Y/N. Besides, it's not like we can serve burgers once Mr Kim arrives."
"Mr Kim?" You ask curiously. "Who's that?"
Jimin's eyebrows furrow, like he can't actually believe you're asking him such a question. Ever since you got here at the beginning of the summer he's been diligently keeping you up to date with the latest Paradise gossip, so you aren't sure why he's surprised you're as out of the loop as ever.
"Mr Kim. The founder of Paradise’s son?" You shrug, blinking at him cluelessly and Jimin shakes his head with a pained expression, lowering his voice like he's utterly appalled at your ignorance. "You haven't heard anything about the guy who is gonna take over this place once his father retires? Kim Seokjin?"
Ah, so that's who the infamous Seokjin is. His name has been buzzing through the kitchen for the last week, much to your confusion, and apparently he would be dining in the restaurant tonight.
You heard the senior chef's were working over time to perfect the cherry clafoutis he personally requested (despite not being an on-the-menu dish) and his impending inheritance of his father's dynasty seemed a topic of hot gossip, spreading in hushed whispers from the bar girls out front to the janitor, everyone seemingly desperate to get a glimpse at the Kim Seokjin. Meaning there are only two possible reasons as to why: he is rich or he is filthy rich.
"So what's the big deal with this guy. Is he some sort of celebrity or something?" You nudge Jimin in the ribs as you return to your station and start to sauté a fresh batch of onions. 
"Nah, just filthy rich." Jimin indulges and you nod. Just as I thought. "And goddamn hot if I should say so myself." He adds, returning to his dish washing station with a sigh, wrinkling his nose when his hands plunge into the soapy suds.
"Still, I don't see why I need to work over time for him." You grumble. The clock had chimed five o clock ten minutes ago and usually you'd be on your way to have a shower and shampoo the smell of grease and garlic out of your hair but instead you were still on the clock, orders lining up for you to prepare and stat. "What’s so special about him dropping by for dinner. Everyone here is rich."
"Well I was talking to one of the big guys," Jimin nods towards the senior chefs. "And apparently his parents have been trying to get him to marry his girlfriend for, like, ever." Jimin's voice dips to a whisper. "But get this. He broke up with his girlfriend last week when his parents suggested they get married!"
You narrow your eyes. "Right. So I'm working over time because some rich dude decided to throw his toys out of the stroller?"
Jimin rips off his pink rubber gloves and shakes you by the shoulders, like he’s trying to knock some sense into you. "Just shut up for a second would you? We're working overtime because his parent's have set him up on a date!"
You slap a hand over mouth, letting out an exaggerated gasp. "Not a date!"
"I know right!" Jimin shakes his head as if this is the scandal of the century, not quite sharing your sarcasm. "Can you believe it?"
"Is he talking about Kim Seokjin, again?" Jungkook, one of the summer buss boys, emerges from the restaurant through the double doors in his familiar black uniform. Jimin quickly smoothes down his hair, mentally chastising himself when soap suds coat his blonde locks, face burning as red as the tomatoes you chop beside him. It's common knowledge that Jimin has the biggest, all consuming crush on the oblivious chestnut haired waiter who flashes you an ever cheeky bunny smile now as he scoops up the dish you prepared onto the tray balanced on his forearm. 
He shoots Jimin an eye roll. "All he talks about is Kim Seokjin this, Kim Seokjin that." Jungkook shrugs. "I really don't see what the big deal is about this guy."
Jimin crosses his arms sulkily and you have to stifle a laugh at the pair. "The big deal is that this date has to go well - no, perfect - because Seokjin needs to marry someone "parent approved" or else his father will reject him as the heir of his dynasty."
You want to ask him about his impressive eavesdropping abilities but you have to admit, this is pretty big news - especially around here where the latest hot gossip was Han Seojin's husband's gambling problem when he hit up the casino after a few too many brandy's.
"So basically, the fate of the resort lies in his hands tonight." Jimin adds excitedly as he slams the dishwasher closed with a triumphant grin.
You roll your eyes. That is surely a bit dramatic. The guy was probably too blinded by the riches he would be inheriting to care about the poor girl he was getting hitched too. "You're invested in this, huh?"
Jimin nods eagerly. "Like I said. He's hot. Like sex on legs hot."
If you weren't watching carefully you may have missed Jungkook's eyes narrowing slightly or the way he tenses and puffs out his chest. "Pfft. He is not."
"So is!" Jimin pouts. "You're just jealous you're not as inhumanely gorgeous as he is." Jungkook raises a brow and Jimin rushes to smooth over his words. "Not that you're not gorgeous! No, that's not what I mean—"
The awkward moment is interrupted by the sound of a ladle banging against a frying pan, and you let out a groan when you hear the unmistakable yell of the head chef. "Attention everyone!"
"Speaking of crazy people." Jimin mutters with a roll of his eyes, rolling up his uniform sleeves and wiping his forehead with the back of his hand as all the employees gather in the centre of the kitchen. "Looks like Hoseok got out of the wrong side of bed again."
You stifle a giggle when you find that Jimin is in fact correct, head chef Hoseok rounding the corner with an ever serious expression on his face. He has always been the stern type, mouth constantly fixed in a permanent frown as he criticises your dicing skills or catches you burning another steak, but you can see by the bluish bags under his eyes and the furrowed lines etched into his forehead that he means business today and a hush quickly falls over the kitchen apart from the gentle hiss of frying onions.
"As you all know, today is a big day for Paradise." He begins. "Each and every one of our future's here as employees depends on it. Mr. Kim has chosen us to cater for his dinner date and I need each and every one of you to do everything you can to make sure it goes smoothly. Capeesh?"
Dang. Is head chef Hoseok himself��nervous? He's usually irritatingly confident in his cooking abilities. Maybe this was more serious than you thought...
"I'm counting on you guys to prove our worth, you hear me? It's already an honour that he picked us to host such an important event, and if we fumble who d'ya think he's gonna fire first once he takes over as CEO?" Hoseok interrupts your train of thought, waving a wooden spoon now like he's conducting an orchestra. "Which is why I expect zero funny business. I'm looking at you Jeon Jungkook! Now scram, we have customers to feed."
A unanimous groan fills the room as everyone gets back to work, and the kitchen falls into a state of turmoil as the clock ticks away, Seokjin due to arrive in a few hours and you haven’t even started on his appetizer yet.
"This better be worth it." You grumble to yourself, suppressing a smile when Jungkook bounds like a Labrador puppy into the restaurant fit  with an armful of salads yelling "Rabbit food coming up, y'all!", despite the stern look Hoseok sends his way.
You turn to Jimin, rolling your eyes at the hearts in his eyes for Jungkook as he strains his neck to get a glimpse of the chestnut haired boy's ass through the kitchen's window. He blushes when he notices you looking, but not before he’s flashing you a grin.
"Just wait until you see him," Jimin calls cheekily as you rush to the stove you had abandoned earlier. "Then you'll be glad you worked over time."
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As it turns out, you are not glad you worked overtime. Kim Seokjin is late. Unfashionably late. So late that you are considering eating the dish you slaved over for nearly an hour to perfect to his preferences only for him to let it go limp and cold.
At least you could add another trait to the list of what you now know about Kim Seokjin: filthy rich, (allegedy) goddamn hot, heir to the resort and most importantly douche bag who can't make it on time to the first date with his future wife.
To make matters worse, the level of unrest in the kitchens is unlike anything you have ever seen before as everyone nervously awaits his arrival. Jungkook has been out front to polish the wine glasses at the private table he set up and lovingly adorned with candles and a bottle of iced champagne of the expensive kind because it would "create sexy vibes" more times than you can count. Hoseok took extra care with the placement of the parsley on top of the steaks he grilled and you even saw Jimin fixing his hair in the reflection of a shiny pan.
When the clock ticked over to eight, everyone had gathered around the small kitchen window, eyes beadily trained to the door. 
"He'll be here any minute now, I can feel it." Jimin whispers as he sidles up beside you, practically vibrating. His excitement for the date has started to rub off on you, a funny fuzzy feeling settling in your chest — all this Kim Seokjin talk has you itching to see the guy in the flesh, even if it is just from behind the kitchen window.
Sure enough, Jimin's Kim Seokjin senses must be somewhat accurate because a hurried hush falls across the kitchen as a black car pulls up outside, a unanimous gasp filling the room as you watch him emerge from behind the tinted glass windows in awe.
You were waiting for a tight lipped guy in a suit and tie to step inside; a younger clone of all the middle aged men who frequented the resort when their "model" children got busted bunking off from golf games or whatever rich kids did to rebel. Except the guy that strolls through the sliding doors like he has time to waste is so far from the average Paradise resident that you are almost sure you're hallucinating. Or have onion in your eyes. Surely you aren't seeing this clearly?
The guy who crosses the threshold and takes a seat at the table Jungkook graciously guides him to is clad in a vibrant Hawaiian shirt, the floral a stark contrast to the luxe interior of the resort. The garment is unbuttoned lazily and draped across his broad shoulders, a pair of round,humorously large sunglasses perched on the end of his nose, and if you weren't so shocked by his...impressionable entrance you might find the whole situation comical.
"This is Kim Seokjin?" You splutter, unable to stop the giggles that leave your lips at the sight of him bobbing his head unnecessarily hard to the monotonous classical tune that carries through the restaurant, blatantly ignoring whatever words Jungkook (who looked completely starstruck) was stuttering.
The situation becomes even more ridiculous when you see the disgruntled look on the pretty girl who traipses behind him awkwardly, dressed in a floor length gown and pearls, face turning sour when Seokjin neglects his manners and forces her to pull her own chair out to sit while he zones in on the bottle of alcohol in the centre of the table.
They look like characters out of two separate worlds. Jewels glitter on her fingers as she taps them agitatedly against the table, clearly as dumbfounded by the situation as you are, especially when she offers her glass to Seokjin to pour her a drink, only for him to thrust the entire bottle of wine in her face.
Your attention is drawn away from the unfolding scene momentarily when Jungkook flies back into the kitchen in typical Jungkook fashion, except this time with an extra bout of zealousness if the stars in his eyes weren't already obvious.
"I take it back!" He puffs, slipping his empty tray beneath his elbow, hands now free to swing Jimin around in circles. "He's the most beautiful human I've ever seen!"
You cross your arms with a sneer. "Looks like a goof to me. That shirt? Not a good look on anyone."
"But his face!"
"Yeah, his face, covered by those obnoxious glasses."
"You didn't see it." Jungkook whispers, pulling your hands into his own. "He could end mankind with that kind of face! And I bet he has a monster dong too-"
"Okay, jeez." You push him away, scrunching your nose in disgust. "No discussing customer's monster dongs in the kitchen."
"So you admit he probably has one?"
"Shush!" You hiss. The kitchen huddle lets out a synchronised gasp and you elbow your way back to the window, peering past a tall chef's hat to fix your attention on the scene which had somehow escalated ten fold since you'd left it.
Seokjin's body is wracked with laughter, hand slamming down ferociously against the table, making his date wince every time the fine china jumps on the table cloth. Her hands are placed carefully atop the napkin in her lap, food untouched as Seokjin takes the liberty to pour himself another glass of wine. He looks utterly uninterested in anything she has to say, and she seems embarrassed by his mannerless behaviour, glancing around anxiously. The tension between them is suffocating, even from your safe distance, and you swear you could cut it with one of the knives hanging from the utensil rack.
Then, Seokjin leans in towards her. He removes his glasses, carefully tucking them neatly into his shirt pocket before resting his chin in his palm to stare at her intently.
Maybe he was finally taking an interest in her? She seems to think the same thing, a small smile creeping onto her face despite her awkward demeanour.
Until it slips from her face nearly as fast as it appeared, replaced by an expression of pure appalled horror when Seokjin whispers something into her ear. You can only see the back of his head so lip reading is out of the question; but if the way her chin drops into her lap was anything to go by, you have a feeling whatever he said was not something you wanted to hear on a first date and probably not from your future husband, either.
Without further ado, the girl throws her cutlery down with a clash, gathering the fabric of her dress and storming out of the restaurant in a manner that suggests the date went badly to say the least.
A ruckus has broken out in the kitchen by this point; Jimin and Jungkook stopping mid monster dong debate to gawk, a rumble of chatter erupting as everyone processes the events you had just witnessed.
What did he say? Do you think it was the steak? What does this mean for Paradise? Is he still gonna marry her?
The last one came from Jungkook and you couldn't help but bite your lip in an attempt to smother the laughter that threatened to spill at his question. "Somehow I don't think he proposed to her just then, Kook."
Your eyes zone in on Seokjin again. He is slumped back in his seat now, knuckles pressed to his eyes. He looks exhausted, a sudden change in demeanour considering this is the same guy who was shooting finger guns at his date a few moments ago. Now he just seems defeated
For a moment you think he is going to get up and leave. That is until he twists in his seat, motioning towards the kitchen window with a crook of the finger. Dessert? He mouths.
The kitchen staff disperse hurriedly, a tinge of red creeping up Hoseok's neck at being caught spying, although it is clear by the smirk on Seokjin's face that he knew you were watching him all along. There is something in his eyes that even has you wiping the amused expression of your face, though. An authority.
"Could this night have gone any worse?" You ask Jimin, referring to Seokjin's debacle. Except Jungkook is quick to interject, thrusting two black bags in your face with a grin.
"For you, yes. Your turn to take out the trash."
You blink at him a few times before reluctantly taking the bags from his grip. They were heavy, nearly making you stumble. How had Jungkook held them so easily?
"Fine." You manage to get out between gritted teeth, struggling to balance with the extra weight in your arms. "But you owe me."
"Oh believe me," There is a glint in Jungkook's eyes that you can't quite put your finger on. What was he up to? "I'll make it up to you sooner than you think."
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It's dimly lit when you stumble out back armed with a pile of trash bags, the only light source some fairy lights strung around the palm trees lining the restaurant. It takes all your strength and three tries to haul the heavy trash bags into the dark mouth of the dumpster and you're out of breath by the time you're finished.
Finally satisfied with your work, you wipe your hands on your apron and turn to stalk back inside and flick Jungkook's forehead - except a loud ringing from somewhere in the shadows stops you dead in your tracks.
You stiffen, hand reaching for the door handle as a precaution, head snapping towards the direction of the sound. You can't help the small gasp that leaves your lips when you take in the figure of a tall man leaning against the kitchen wall just a few meters away, the ringing ceasing when he lifts a phone to his ear with a frustrated groan.
Shit! As soon as you realise you're not alone and before you can think better of it you're scrambling behind the dumpster, crouching so that you're just out of view but still in earshot as the figure starts to murmur into the microphone.
"Yeah, dad, I know she flew all the way from Morocco to be here tonight. It's not my fault we weren't compatible!"
Huh? A voice squeaks on the other end of the line, and though you can't work out what they say exactly the frustrated sigh that leaves the man a few meters away tells you it wasn't exactly friendly.
"What makes you think you know what's best for me? I never wanted this stupid engagement in the first place!"
Intrigued and against your better judgement, you brace your hands on the edge of the dumpster and pull yourself on top of a cardboard box discarded beside it to get a better view of the scene. If you strain your neck you can just about see the shadow of a tall figure pacing back and forth just around the corner and you can't help but lean in a little closer to hear his harsh words more clearly, curiosity getting the better of you.
"Because it's my life! I'm sick of you and mom always telling me what to do with it." You raise an eyebrow, ever intrigued when the voice lifts from a hush to a yell. "Fine! I'll go on another date, but you'll see. I won't end up like you. You owe me big time for this, dad."
With that the phone call is cut off with a monotone beep and you see the shadow of the man pinch the bridge of his nose, sighing sharply, before the soles of his polished loafers crunch against the gravel in the direction of where you crouch, eavesdropping. You had enough experience with the residents here to know they wouldn't take this lightly — you had to sign a handful of NDA's before you even got the job, so naturally your eyes widen with panic when you realise you're about to get busted listening in on a confidential call. But before you can dive behind a trash bag and take cover, you lose your footing and find yourself hurtling head first into the dumpster, landing with a crash.
A few seconds pass, the footsteps ceasing as you squeeze your eyes shut and pray your beating heart doesn't give you away, before a voice calls out.
"Hello? Is someone there?"
"No!" You squeak hurriedly, slapping a hand over your mouth when it's already too late and flushing a deep shade of red when you hear a sharp intake of breath and you realise you've blown your own cover
You silently hope the guy will give up and leave, but then you hear someone climbing the outside of the dumpster and you open your eyes to see a puzzled pair of eyes peering down at you from beneath a cocked eyebrow, followed my a loud snort. "You need some help down there, sweetheart?"
This guy might be a total stranger, but any questioning words die on your tongue when you look around and remember you're literally trapped inside a dumpster and your upper arm strength is definitely not enough to get you out of this thing alone and — hold up, there's probably rats in here, right?
You scramble to your feet, brushing your messy hair from your eyes with a nervous laugh. "Uh...yeah. I guess I do."
A steady hand emerges over the edge of the dumpster and with a weak and embarrassed smile you grasp it, suppressing a squeak when the guy unexpectedly launches you over his shoulder so that he can pull you out in one fell swoop and set you safely on the ground.
"Uh, thanks." You manage to get out when you find your balance, awkwardly brushing some dirt from your apron. "Good thing you walked by when you did..."
"Yeah, guess you could call me your knight in shining armor, huh?" The guy chuckles, long and smooth like velvet. A laugh you've heard before, just moments ago in fact. That's when you battle through your embarrassment to look up and face him for the first time, flushing at the involuntary gasp that passes your lips.
The man before you has the deepest eyes you've ever seen, sharp yet soft around the edges beneath the sparkle of the low light and you shiver when they finish looking you up and down to stare into yours directly. Your eyes slip down to the familiar Hawaiian shirt draped over his broad shoulders, eyes widening when you look between your bodies to find his fingers still clasping your own as he eyes you with a curious interest.
"S-Seokjin?" You splutter. He nods, letting out a deeper chuckle this time as though he could hold it back no longer. "What are you doing out here?"
"I could ask you the same question," He counters, letting you go so he can reach into his pocket to retrieve a half pack of cigarettes and a lighter, ironically just beneath the unmissable NO SMOKING sign. "What's a pretty girl like you doing out here hauling trash at this hour?"
"I...work here."
He nods and you just stare at him like an open mouthed idiot. He must think it's because of the way he fiddles to spark a light at the end of his cigarette, drawing his eyes from the stick back to your surprised expression. "What? Oh these? I don't smoke. Stole these from my father's coat pocket." He shakes the box back and forth with a smug grin. "Nothing pisses him off more than loosing his Lucky Strikes. Besides, I own this place, I can do what I like."
You shrug. "Well, your father does." You are speaking too quickly, mentally pinching yourself for not being able to bite your own tongue. "He owns this place I mean. Right?"
A blush creeps up your neck under his gaze which narrows as he draws closer to you. His eyes are a deeper brown up close, like a pot of warm hot chocolate - soft at the edges where they crinkle into a smile at your rushed words. Nothing like the steely glares you usually got from residents here.
"Correct," The toe of his shoe kicks at the gravel beneath your soles while he strings together his next words carefully. "For now. I'll be proud owner of Paradise before the year is out, though."
"Ha." You can't help but snort under your breath, Seokjin's head simply tilting in response with an almost amused curiosity. "I don’t know about that. Didn't look like your fiance wanted to marry you very much."
"Word spreads quick around here, huh?" He lets out a dark laugh, grimacing at the cloud of nicotine that floats away into the nigh from the cigarette between his fingers that flutters to the gravel before it’s even reached his lips. You wince when he uses the toe of his Balenciaga’s to stub it out into a pile of smoldering ash before reaching for another one that he lights in the same way as before. "She wasn't my fiance, actually.To be honest, I hadn't even met her before tonight."
You let out an awkward laugh. "I take it the wedding's off then?"
"Ha ha," You practically hear the roll of his eyes. "At least one of us finds this funny, because my father sure as shit won't." His tone is suddenly chilly and for a moment you think you offended him, though a quick scan of his face reveals a turn up of the mouth that says otherwise. He kicks off from the wall, slinging his hands deep into the pockets of his jeans and you swallow thickly as the safe distance between you grows ever smaller, so close you can smell his woody cologne. "It was never on, per se. And it never will be if I have anything to do with it."
You can't help but scoff at the way he tightens his jaw and throws his arms across his chest like a toddler in time out. Sure, you hardly knew the guy but something about his attitude rubs you the wrong way. This is the guy who has everything, yet he's trash talking his lavish lifestyle to a summer employee? 
"You're kind of an asshole, huh?"
"Can't say I haven't heard that one before." Seokjin agrees with a smirk. "But you don't seem like much of an angel yourself. First I find you eavesdropping on me, save your ass from a dumpster and then you choose to insult me?"
You shift awkwardly under his intense gaze, worried you might have overstepped, mouth dry as you spit out a response. "I...I didn't mean it like that—"
"God, chill out would you? I’m kidding. You're so stiff it's stressing me out." His tongue snakes out to lick his lips thoughtfully. "You're different, y'know."
"Huh?"
"I can tell you're not like everyone else around here. You're honest." Seokjin explains, unbuttoning the top button of his shirt to allow him some more breathing room as he continues. "Everyone around here is either a liar or a cheat. Or both."
"You don't even know me." You huff.
"You don’t know me either, princess.” Seokjin smirks. “So what makes you so sure I'm an asshole?."
He blinks at you eagerly, and you realise he's serious when he arrogantly waves his hand for you to go ahead and indulge him, like he's somewhat amused.
Well damn. If this guy wanted honesty you'd sure as shit give it to him
"You want the truth?" You suck in a deep breath. "I don't know what I expected when I heard the buzz about you but it certainly wasn't a rich guy who wears hawaiian shirts and makes girls cry on first dates. I don’t need to know a single thing about you to know that you’re an ungrateful asshole, just like everyone else at this resort."
A few seconds pass, Seokjin's eyes widening in momentary surprise like he wasn't used to people telling him the truth, before his face breaks out into a beaming grin. "I have a feeling we're going to be good friends." He glances at your name tag. "Y/N, is it?"
You half nod before you register his words. "Friends, what do you mean—?"
Just then the phone in his grip starts to vibrate violently, and he holds it up so you can see the bold DAD that lights up the screen.
"Sorry to cut this short pretty, but I need to take this. Better get back to work before I cut your pay check, sweetheart." You must look visibly nervous because he bursts into laughter. "What? I'm kidding, remember?"
You roll your eyes, hiding the way your face heats up by spinning on your heels and storming back towards the kitchen, pausing briefly before you can turn the handle when you hear Seokjin call your name.
"Hey. Wait up! One piece of advice. Don't let this place, get to you, okay?" Seokjin calls with a smile. "I like your honesty, it's...refreshing."
And with that he lifts the phone to his ear, disappearing around the shadowy corner with an irritating smile and a finger salute.
For some funny reason, Seokjin's words ring out in your head for the rest of the night. I have a feeling we're going to be good friends. Something tells you that isn't the last time you're going to see Kim Seokjin, and you can't tell if the way your heart skips a beat is a good thing or not.
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Much to your surprise, that isn't the last time you see Kim Seokjin.
The next night he returned equally as late and equally as eccentrically dressed and left his date, blonde this time, (though equally as pretty as the last one) flustered and red in the face as she stormed out of the restaurant with glassy eyes and crushed dreams
The night after that you spot him arguing a little too loudly with a feisty lady outside the restaurant, the way he doesn't even stay long enough to finish his champagne a clear indication that the date went less than perfect.
Night after night, the same scenario played out with different unimpressed women, until finally, they just stopped coming. No more girls. No more dates. No more of Seokjin's signature laughter permeating the entire restaurant. Sure, the guy was a complete asshole, that much was clear; but you his absence left the restaurant feeling even more lifeless than before.
Obviously Seokjin's fucked up dating life wasn’t anything to laugh about. But you had to admit his antics put a smile on your face, something which had been few and far between as of late. Even when Hoseok was working you overtime, you found yourself biting your lip to suppress a grin every time Seokjin waltzed through the door. And now he was gone, and with it your small escape from reality.
"Do you think his parents finally gave up?" Jimin sighs one late evening, shaking his wet hands in the face of Jungkook who bats him away playfully.
"Nah, he probably just found a girl he likes." Jungkook reasons. "Made his parents see things from his point of view."
You snort. "They don't sound like the type of parents who would give up that easy." After more dates than you could count on one hand with various suitors deemed good enough for their son, it was clear they were prepared for him to rebel. You doubted they would give in without a fight.
"You might be right..." Jungkook trails off, rushing to smush his face against the window. "Unless...wait! I think he's back!"
"He's back?" You breathe, elbowing Jungkook out of the way and ignoring his ow! of protest, your own breath fogging up the glass now as your eyes dart from table to table in search of a familiar face.
You let out a breathy laugh. Sure enough, there he is. Hair gelled back tonight you noted, bouncing his skinny jean clad knee beneath the table with an impatience you can't quite put your finger on.
Wait...
"Ha!" You almost do a double take. Seokjin is sat alone tonight. No nearly-crying-twenty-something across from him. Just Seokjin with a single flute of champagne in his hand opposite an utterly empty chair.
Well. This is new.
"I think he's been stood up!" You lower your voice to a whisper when your burst of laughter gains a few strange looks. "There's no girl with him this time."
"What?" Jimin splutters, standing on his tip toes in an attempt to see over your shoulder. "No girl?! Let me see!"
You budge over and Jimin lets out a gasp of surprise when he takes in the scene for himself. "The Kim Seokjin got stood up. I can't believe it!"
"Maybe he's getting a taste of his own medicine." You muse.
A mischievous look crosses Jungkook's features and then he is pulling on his black apron and scurrying towards the door. "Let's find out!"
"What? — Jungkook!"
You watch open mouthed as Jungkook approaches the lonely table, fingers quivering around the order notebook he clutches like a safety blanket, with nerves or excitement you can't quite tell; before he exchanges a few words with Seokjin who barely even glances up, lazily folding a napkin in his lap. Jungkook nods vigorously before he speed walks back to the kitchen like his life depends on it, a smug grin appearing on his lips as he thrusts the order slip towards you.
"Two orders of sirloin steak, medium! Pronto!"
"Two?" You and Jimin splutter in unison.
Jungkook looks amused. Too amused for your liking.
"Yup! And guess what?" Jimin is hanging off his every word, desperate pleas of what? making Jungkook chuckle harder. "He wants the chef to serve it."
You narrow your eyes. "Hoseok? Why?"
Jungkook scoffs as if you're being clueless on purpose. "Not Hoseok, idiot!"
"Then who?"
"You." Jungkook points a finger right at you.
"Me? Wait! Jeon Jungkook, you get back here!" Before you can ask questions he is already bounding into the restaurant like a labrador on crack.
"Have fun!" He yells over his shoulder with a wink. "You'll thank me later, Y/N."
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Half an hour later and you're stood with two steaming plates balanced on your arm. Why are you so nervous? All you have to do is go out there and serve the food. It's not like he was asking you to kill someone.
But every time you muster up the courage to go out there you remember your encounter with Seokjin outside the kitchens, and you instantly feel weak at the knees.
You smooth down your apron one last time, filling your lungs with the stuffy kitchen air before Jimin's hands clamp onto your shoulders and steer you towards the door.
"What are you—?" One forceful push later and you're stumbling out into the restaurant. "Jimin!"
"You can do this!" You hear Jimin call, the exasperated look you send over your shoulder in response prompting a not so reassuring thumbs up. The way your eyes downturn into a dark glare makes him collapse into a fit of gasps and giggles as he nods for you to keep going.
I'm going to get him back for this...
The table Seokjin liked to frequent is closest to the window, view casting out over the lake which the resort surrounds like a half moon, terribly modern in all it's white pillared glory in contrast to the natural beauty of the clear blue water. The lake is darkened now with the reflection of the midnight blue sky, the soft glow of lanterns lighting up the path around it and illuminating the picture of weeping willows which ripples across the water's surface, disturbed only by canoeists tying up their boats for the evening.
Seokjin doesn't seem interested in the quiet goings on of the resort. He has probably seen them a hundred times before. His back is facing you but you can see how his eyes are transfixed on the sliding entrance doors in the windows reflection. It was late evening and most people would be returning to their suites for the night by now, but Seokjin's steely gaze remains unwavering, like he's expecting it to zip open any minute. Is he waiting for someone?
Some part of you feels sympathetic. It doesn't look like anyone is coming to join him any time soon. Poor guy is about to get a taste of his own medicine and look like a fool sat opposite an empty chair harbouring a plate of uneaten food.
Ha. It's exactly what he deserves, you think. Karma.
Every step towards him feels heavier than the last until eventually you find yourself stood with knees knocking right behind him, food probably going cold with every second you spend coaxing yourself to man up and face him. You silently pray he won't hear the pound of your heart over the low hum of chatter and scrapes of cutlery against china plates that seem to fall away to silence in this corner of the restaurant where it's just Seokjin and you.
You're debating spinning on your heels and making Jungkook do it instead when Seokjin's unrelenting stare at the door snaps up to meet yours in the window's reflection, the authority in his eyes enough to have you hiding behind your hair in shame at being caught dwindling like an idiot.
"I wasn't expecting you to actually come." His voice is a deep hum that makes you jolt and nearly drop the plates. A heat burns your cheeks when Seokjin swirls the champagne in his glass amusedly, facing you with his forearm on the back of his seat and beckoning for you to set the plates down with a nod of his head. An order.
You narrow your eyes, unable to curb the irritation that laces your sigh as you obey him. You set down the dishes, one in front of him and the other in front of the seat still empty of whomever he is expecting. "I wasn't exactly expecting to be serving you tonight either. I usually just prepare the food."
Seokjin doesn't miss the roll of your eyes, snorting at the shake of your hand that gives away the anxiety beneath your front when crystal beads of champagne splash onto the immaculate table cloth as you try to top up his glass.
"Yeah and here's a reason for that. You're a shit waitress."
The way you slam the bottle down onto the table top is a little too aggressive, the legs shaking violently and drawing the eyes of a few of the surrounding diners who wipe their mouths with a delicate astonishment and flash you dark looks at the disturbance.
"Are we done? If I'm so bad then why did you call me out here?"
"Actually, I wanted to talk to you." His fingers fold the napkin in his lap carefully. He settles back into his chair with a grin laced with mischief while you practically hop from foot to foot with nerves. "Would you sit for a second?"
"I'm an employee." You raise a brow. "I don't think that's appropriate..."
"Please?" He rests his chin in his palms.
You hug your torso and self consciously glance side to side. With a roll of your eyes you sink down into the chair, if a little reluctantly, when you're sure the couple at the table directly opposite are too deep in conversation about the crème brûlée to notice the strange encounter happening beside them.
"Fine! But make it quick or Hoseok might actually shave my head."
Seokjin gets straight to the point. "I need you to do something for me."
There is a glint in his eye as he snatches up the glass intended for the rightful occupant of the leather cushion you perch on, pouring a small amount of champagne into the flute and pushing it towards you with an encouraging nod. You observe the fizzing liquid with caution, turning your nose up at the floral aroma. Was he trying to poison you with Veuve Clicquot?
"Okay, elaborate?"
"I'm going to need you to pretend to be my date." You wait for him to laugh but his lips are pressed together in a line that tell you he is being serious. "You up for it?"
"Excuse me?" An astonished laugh punctuates your widened eyes, voice raising incredulously at his request. "Your what?"
"Hear me out!" Seokjin hisses, holding a finger to his lip to quiet you down when you splutter on the air that feels like it's thickening in your throat. "I just need to get my father off my back. It'll be five minutes tops!"
By this point you are rendered speechless, pinching the inside of your thigh to check if you are trapped in some weirdly vivid nightmare.
You? His date? Oh god...why aren't you waking up?
Your lips curl around a single breathless word. "Why?"
"Hello, I'm Kim Seokjin? Dad owns the resort? Need to get married to inherit it? I thought we went over this the other day—"
Throwing your arms over your chest impatiently, you click your tongue. "I remember idiot! I mean why me?"
"For fucks sake — you want the truth?" He chuckles but it's devoid of any humour. "You're new around here so my father is less likely to recognise you, okay?" He downs the rest of his glass, picks up his fork and pokes the cold steak on his plate restlessly, hardly bothering to look you in the face even when you scoff in disbelief.
You bite your lip, voice quiet. "Is this some sort of game?"
You are no stranger to Seokjin's tricks — you watched them play out with your own eyes, more girls than you could count on one hand leaving the restaurant in tears or worse — and something feels funny in your stomach, an instinct that says he has an ulterior motive you just can't put your finger on.
From the corner of your eye you spot Hoseok poking his head into the dining area, eyes merciless as they scan the room in search of you, the tell tale tap of his foot against the ground a giveaway of his growing impatience which makes you duck out of view in fear.
"If this is just one of your sick jokes then congrats," You deadpan. "I could literally lose my job over this."
"What? No!" He seems genuinely surprised at your accusation, exasperated sigh sounding desperate while his eyes bore into yours with a look that says please. "I'll explain everything. Please?"
He winces when your chair scrapes loudly against the tile as you get to your feet with a disbelieving shake of your head. "Sorry but I have a job to do—"
Suddenly Seokjin lets out a gasp and you hear the automatic glass doors zip open. "Ah shit!"
Seokjin's eyes widen with panic but before you can twist to see who has arrived for yourself, you're being pulled back down into the seat opposite him roughly by the elbow.
"What the hell are you doing?"
Seokjin isn't listening, shrugging his jacket down his arms and wrapping the fabric around your shoulders hastily. "Cover your uniform, okay?"
The smell of his expensive cologne fills your senses and a warm hand squeezes your shoulder pleadingly, the glint in his eye replaced with desperation.
For a moment you falter and his face brightens, believing you to be finally convinced. Until you come back to your senses and slap his hand away. "Get off me!"
"Too late." Seokjin murmurs, but before you can shoot him a questioning glance a pair of polished black shoes stop beside you. Your entire body stiffens, aware of a pair of eyes probing the back of your head.
Oh no.
"Seokjin."
An unfamiliar deep voice rumbles beside you and when you dare to look up you're met with the peering face of an older man who you recognise from the Paradise website. There are traces of Seokjin visible in the curve of his mouth and the sharp edge of his jaw and he was probably considered good looking in his youth.
Ah. So this is Mr Kim?
"You lasted longer than fifteen minutes. This must be a new record, son."
Despite their likeness it's hard to believe they are father and son -- the stern frown keeping a pair of thin framed glasses balancing on Seokjin’s father’s nose along with his crisp tailored suit a far cry from the boy sat cross legged opposite you, wine colored shirt unbuttoned too far to be a mistake.
Seokjin plasters a false grin to his mouth and raises his glass towards Mr Kim, as if to toast. "I told you I would try didn't I?"
Mr Kim says nothing, averting his intimidating gaze to you instead. Your mouth dries when he addresses you directly. "What was your name again?"
Shit! Alarm bells sound in your head, instantly regretting coming out here in the first place and getting mixed up in Seokjin's mess.
You swallow thickly, hardly daring to look him in the eye. "It's — uh," Seokjin is signalling at you with an alarmed look, face falling into his palms with a muffled groan when you fail to catch on.  "Y-Y/N. I'm Y/N."
"Is it now?" Mr Kim scratches his chin thoughtfully, humming to himself as he studies your face. Shit, does he recognise you from the kitchen? Are you about to get fired? Your pulse goes into overdrive when his eyes narrow. "I'm sure I remember it being something like—"
"Her middle name!" Seokjin quickly butts in, cutlery clattering onto his plate in his haste to gain his fathers attention. "She goes by her middle name. We were just talking about it actually. Right, Y/N?"
All eyes fall on you again, Seokjin sending you a pleading look, but you don't trust your voice not to waver so you just nod and hide your rosy cheeks by wrapping your lips around rim of the untouched champagne glass.
"Funny middle name." He shrugs, landing an audible slap to Seokjin's back who winces at the hard contact. Mr Kim's eyes seem kinder as they look between you. "I'm proud of you, son. I'm glad you could finally see things from our perspective."
"Sure, dad." Seokjin shrinks away from his fathers touch with a look of distaste. "Now would you do us a favor and leave us to discuss...marriage things?" You choke on your mouthful of bubbly, eyes watering as you try to hold back a spluttering cough.
Thankfully, Mr Kim is already losing interest, flashing Seokjin a thumbs up before striding over to one of the waiters holding a platter of coconut shrimp appetizers and taking a handful for himself.
Watching him gain a safe distance and disappear among a circle of business men at the bar, you finally feel safe to let out the shaky breath you were holding. Seokjin presses his knuckles to his eyes, the vein in his neck protruding with tension.
"What the fuck was that?" He seems to have forgotten your presence, lost in his own thoughts until you rip his jacket from where it sits around your shoulders and throw it into his lap with contempt. Your laugh of disbelief sounds foreign to your own ears, unable to comprehend what actually just happened.
"You're crazy!" You let out breathlessly. "I'm out of here."
Before you can storm off like you want to, Seokjin's hand closes around your wrist and pins you in place.
"Listen, I know you think this is ridiculous but I'm literally about to get on my knees and beg you here. Just do me one more favour." You shoot him a glare and for a second you think he might actually drop to the ground and grovel if you asked him to. "Just one!"
No matter how hard you try to pull away Seokjin is persistent. "Why should I?"
"Because you have a conscience?" He pleads. "The human desire to help others in need?"
"This is crazy—"
"I'll repay you!"
You pause. "How?"
"Undecided." His head tilts in thought. "You need money?"
Disgust courses through your veins. This guy thinks he can buy you? You have encountered some entitled rich guys at Paradise but this has to be the icing on the cake, an unbelievable disconnect from acceptable social discourse — though are you surprised? He doesn't exactly have a reputation for being a good conversation holder for fucks sake, just ask his other dates.
You scoff. "I don't accept bribes. I think we're done here. Good luck with your plan or...whatever."
"Y/N wait—" Something in his voice makes you stop dead this time. An authority. No longer pleading but commanding. "I'll fire you myself right here if you don't help me out just once."
Your heart twists. Part of you knows that whatever Seokjin has in mind will be batshit crazy, if his antics tonight were anything to judge by. It would pain you to do something so demeaning but...you need this job. The decision was practically made for you.
You swivel to face him. He is standing over you now, hands on hips as if he means business. "One favor! That's it!"
He punches the air triumphantly. "You want it in writing or something?" He teases, the glint in his eye back now and taunting as you practically vibrate with a combination of embarrassment and rage.
"Don't push it." You warn. 
"Okay, jeez." He throws his hands up in defense. You are acutely aware of the hysterical giggles coming from the kitchen belonging to none other than Jungkook and Jimin and the way your face burns scarlet as you storm away from Seokjin with fists clenched. "I'll let you know when I need you, sweetheart."
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09:04, from unknown: — 10 o clock. meet me outside the archery court. — go to locker 16, key will be in the lock. you'll find everything you need inside
The light of your phone stings your half-open eyes, slumber still clinging to your body as you rub away any remnants of sleep with your knuckles and re-read the strange text over and over again.
Archery? An accidental text to the wrong number, surely?
You glance at the clock next to your bed - the text was sent over twenty minutes ago by now. Whoever the recipient was supposed to be wouldn't have long to get ready.
09:26, you: — huh? who is this?
Before you can even set your phone down and swing your legs out of bed your phone pings, the sound enough to make you wince in your sleepy state.
09:26, unknown: — it's seokjin??? — you know, the guy you're supposed to be marrying?
Excuse you?
All remnants of sleep and/or inner peace are ripped away as soon as you see his name pop up on your homescreen.
"Seokjin?" You splutter out loud. A name you never thought you would have to see again, let alone at this time in the morning.
You scramble into a sitting position, back pressed to the headboard as you grip your bed hair in pure disbelief. The three little dots bounce menacingly at the bottom of the screen as you type and re-type a response. Eventually you settle on something simple and to the point:
09:28, you: — how the fuck did you get this number???
Ping ping. You resist a face palm as you gather the confidence to input your password and read whatever bullshit Seokjin responded with.
09:29, unknown: — i think you're forgetting i own this place — not to brag but ive got connections — anyway, you have half an hour to get your ass over here before my sister arrives.
As you thought - utter bullshit. His sister? It's almost as if Seokjin thinks you are actually dating - or even worse, actually getting hitched.
Wait...he doesn't...does he? You suppress a groan. Why else would he be dragging you out of your apartment to go and shoot arrows at targets with his sister instead of polishing his golf club collection or lounging with self made millionaires or whatever rich things rich guys do.
You are just here to get some culinary experience. To blend into the background like the rest of the employees at Paradise, to focus on making the lives of CEO's and retired business men as easy and as luxurious as possible. Why on earth is he even taking notice of you?
09:30, you: — your sister??
09:30, unknown: — yeah? who'd you think you were arching with? — i don't do sports. — count yourself lucky my mom had to take a rain check
Fuck. His mom?
"Get a grip!" You chastise yourself. You had barely spoken two words to each other before the other night, his existence unbeknownst to yours let alone yours to his; the exchange itself a glitch in the simulation and definitely not something which you wanted to make a habit - so why are you instilled with nerves at the thought of meeting this guy's family?
You don't have time to respond with a harsh reminder of your respective positions at Paradise and why this is absolutely a Bad Idea before Seokjin sends a series of reassuring follow up texts, almost as though he read your mind and all it's reluctant thoughts.
09:32, unknown: — don't worry so much this is just to make people think we're really seeing each ohter — other* — hurry, can't have people thinking my future wife isn't punctual — doesn't look good for the reputation 😎
Fuck.
Fuck fuck fuck!
This is actually happening. How did you manage to get roped into some rich dudes family drama and his consequent plan of deception? And why on earth you fly out of bed, desperately trying to pat down your fly away bed hair while simultaneously shrugging on a pair of jeans is utterly beyond you.
But deep down you know why. It's because you have a sympathy for Seokjin. A goddamn sympathy for the man who seemingly had everything and who every other resident at Paradise wished they could be.
You are increasingly aware of the way your heart hammers against your rib cage, pulse quickening with every tick of the clock that brings you closer to 10 o clock. Not because you're about to see Seokjin again, surely?
Pfft. Of course not! This is just a favour - a formality as an acquaintance if you could even call yourself that.
The clock ticks over to 09:40. No, you promise yourself as you scoop up your bag and your keys. It's doesn’t mean anything, it’s just because you hate being late.
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You end up being late anyway, despite rushing to Paradise from your nearby apartment without so much as considering breakfast and somehow managing to gather the courage to open the door to the women's locker room.
Embarrassment pools in your stomach when you feel the quizzical eyes of Paradise regulars burning into your back over the edges of their martini glasses. It takes all your strength to pass by them with your eyes trained to your shoes, hoping to seem unbothered by their towel turbans and gossiping lips.
You’re unsure why you feel so out of place. It's not as if you are trespassing; they gave you a benefits card when you accepted the job, giving you access to some of the resort's facilities. Some would say it was generous, but it's not as if you ever had a chance to use them in between long kitchen shifts.
Luckily, you doubt there's a risk of them recognising you from the kitchen. The resort is mostly populated by younger club members and besides it's not as if they ever cared to study your face for long enough to commit it to memory.
Still, your casual sweater and jeans combo makes you stand out like a sore thumb in a room full of designer polo shirts and athletic wear and you can't suppress the sigh of relief that escapes you when you make it past a hoard of already merry day drinkers on their way to a hot yoga class in search of locker 16 as instructed by Seokjin.
Sure enough, a key sits snugly in the lock. When you open the metal door you find a tennis skirt with a matching polo shirt, both folded neatly beneath a pair of strikingly white sneakers.
You scoop the pile into your arms, surprised when a card flutters to the ground. You recognise the Paradise logo in the corner, an unfamiliar handwritten scrawl smudged across the front in black pen.
Put these on and meet me round the back of the range. I'll be waiting. - SJ
You roll your eyes. Would it kill him to say please? Not that he is used to asking nicely. Manners are few and far between when things are handed to you on a silver platter (or by an underpaid kid with a summer job). At least that's what you gathered from your observations since you got here.
You slip into the white ensemble, silently thanking the you from yesterday for shaving your legs when you notice just how uncomfortably short the skirt is. The fabric smells like one of those expensive perfumes you sprayed at the store once and you briefly wonder who these clothes belong to.
Fastening your hair into a high pony tail like you see the other girls here do, you take a deep breath and finally sidle up to the full body mirror.
Almost everyone has filtered out of the locker room by now, some to spa appointments, others to sports matches and you find yourself alone, nearly choking on the humid air when you take in your appearance for the first time.
You look like you belong here.
Collar popped around your neck, skirt falling in perfect pleats around your waist, hair falling against your cheekbones. Not a speck of dirt on the branded shoes cushioning your soles.
For a moment you feel a sense of pride fill your chest, head resting high on your shoulders as you bask in the confidence that washes over you until you feel giddy with belonging.
Until you remember what you really are. An imposter.
Despite your Paradise inspired appearance you are nothing but a fake. A smudge on one of the picture perfect Paradise postcard's in the gift shop.
Your shoulders deflate, the sudden urge to tug your sweater back on and run as fast as you can becoming overwhelming.
Your let yourself slump onto one of the plush couches, head falling into your hands. What are you doing here? Letting some guy dress you up like a doll and show you off to save his own ass?
Besides, his family would see through you as soon as you walked out there. After all a polished stone, although pretty, can never be a diamond. And these people know diamonds like the back of their hands.
Is it because he has the authority to fire you from the kitchen job you worked so hard to get? Or is it because somewhere deep inside you are curious to see what could be in this for you?
A vibration on the couch beside you draws you from your thoughts.
10:09, unknown: — where r u????? — you know where the range is right???
God, why didn't you just say no in the first place?
"Just get on with it," you tell yourself sternly. Meet his sister, smile politely and leave without owing Kim Seokjin a single thing.
You will save his ass, buy him the time he needs to convince his parents to get off his back. And then you can go back to your culinary uniform and back to serving up lobster to rich people and you can forget this ever happened and that he so much as exists.
With a shaky breath you get to your feet, throwing your familiar clothes into the locker along with your comfort zone and what feels like your entire identity.
If this is going to work you couldn't think like Y/N, you realise. You have to think like a Paradise country club member. And luckily for you, your careful observation of other residents from the kitchen gives you quite a lot of material to work with.
Before you can second guess yourself you're taking a deep breath and striding out of the locker room door and into the sunny resort grounds.
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Oh god. I'm really doing this. You suddenly feel exposed as you pass the golf court, just managing to dodge a rattling cart before it flattened you.
A pair of girls stroll past with arms interlinked, tennis rackets swinging at their sides leisurely as they make their way to the course.
Oh god. They're gonna see through you. Oh god. Just smile!
You let the corners of your mouth curve up into the closest thing to a smile you can muster, pleased when you earn a friendly nod in greeting before they dive back into their conversation again.
Nobody is noticing. You hold your head high, telling your shoulders to relax and look natural. You can do this.
You reach the range but instead of following the group of middle aged men ahead of you up to the front entrance, you slip round the back. Your eyes land on him instantly; none other than Kim Seokjin, leaning impatiently against the wall, just like he said he would be.
His appearance is enough to have you faltering in your tracks. Unlike the last time you saw him when he donned a much less flattering eye sore of a Hawaiian shirt, he's put together from head to toe - white button up tucked into a pair of tailored trousers, brown loafers showing off his ankles, the whole outfit finished off by a knit sweater tied around his shoulders.
"Wow." You can't help it. You're starting to see why he had a reputation for being particularly easy on the eye.
You swallow thickly, shaking the stunned feeling from your head and ignoring the way your heart beats a little faster the closer you draw to him.
"Finally!" Seokjin hums as he lets out a frustrated huff, eyes glued to the Rolex on his wrist. "Where have you been-"
His breath hitches when he finally looks up and takes you in for the first time. You were surely imagining the way his eyes widen and look you up and down. Right?
"Well well," Seokjin regains his self control quickly, licking his lips. "Someone scrubs up well."
Smartass. "To my credit you've only ever seen me in my work clothes."
"Touché." He purses his lips. "Nobody could make those hats look good. Except me, obviously."
There is that glint in his eye again. As if he is messing with you to get you riled up again. If he wasn't the Kim Seokjin you'd mistake him as flirtatious.
You hug your torso, confidence dwindling with every second you stand beneath Seokjin's probing gaze, anxious to get out onto the range before it dissipates completely. "So? Are we just gonna stand here?"
"You turn up late and then have the audacity to order me around?" His eyebrows furrow and for a second you think he's going to warn you. Remind you who has the power here.
But then his face breaks out into an amused smirk and you let out the breath you didn't know you were holding. "Remember when I said I think you and I are going to get along just fine?"
Seokjin slings his hands into his pockets, striding towards the back door of the facility. He shakes the handle before using his key card to let you both into the archery equipment lodge.
You trail behind him. "Don't get too comfortable," You warn. "This is a one time thing."
Seokjin muses over a selection of crossbows in display cases before fishing in his pocket for a key, unlocking the glass and taking down two flashy ones. He grabs a quiver loaded with arrows from a stand and thrusts both into your arms without warning.
"Sure." He is slinging a quiver over his own shoulder now. He holds open the door to the archery range, gesturing for you to go first. So now he has manners? "If you say so."
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The archery range is an expanse of perfectly pruned green grass, surrounded by the breathtaking scenery of fragrant rose bushes and trailing ivy that the resort boasts. And, as you're learning, an excuse for refreshments, as you find yourself now in a fancy veranda bar with high arching windows that overlook the distant targets, serving chilled lemonade and Prosecco and appetisers on fancy napkins.
"Pretty cool, right?" Seokjin asks, resting his elbows on the windowsill and smirking at your speechlessness and open mouthed expression. "But quit looking so surprised, yeah? You gotta make my sister think this is normal for you."
You don't have time to ask what he means before you are being spun around and engulfed in a hug. You freeze, sucking in a breath of surprise, the sickly smell of fancy shampoo engulfing your senses as your face is pushed into a head of perfect ringlets.
"You must be Y/N." The person, a woman, purrs into your ear. "It's good to finally meet you." The way she draws out the word makes you nervous.
This is Seokjin's sister?
Something about it doesn't feel how a hug is supposed to. Instead it feels like a silent interrogation. Are you good enough to be one of us? Nothing about it is warm. Instead it's sticky, your hands patting her back awkwardly, counting the seconds in your head until it is acceptable to pull away from her stiff hold.
When she lets go you are met with the tight lipped smile of a pretty twenty something, eyes scanning your face from beneath a sun visor. A customised hot pink quiver drapes across her shoulder and you notice the way she eyes your borrowed equipment distastefully.
"That would be me." You force a smile that ends up being a little too wide, glancing nervously at Seokjin who simply nods  in encouragement. "It's good to...finally meet you too?"
She holds you at arms length, giving you a once over before speaking tightly. "Well aren't you a doll?"
You must look as terrified as you feel because her eyebrows raise triumphantly. Seokjin senses the tension. He looks between the two of you almost worriedly, searching your face for any sign of discomfort. For a second you think his concern is kind of sweet...No! Not allowed.
"No hug for me?" Seokjin swoops in and his sister's features harden at his sarcastic tone, a punch landing on his shoulder which he pretends to rub better, emitting a small ow!
"You're late."
"Sorry Hyejin, couldn't find my best shoes." Seokjin throws an arm around your shoulders, pulling you from her grasp a little protectively and flashing an award winning smile that makes your heart flip...No! Definitely not allowed.
"Those are your best shoes?" She grimaces, shaking her head with an air of disappointment. "You left me waiting here for half an hour for those?" Her eyes narrow at you accusingly, as if she knows the truth and wants you to offer an apology.
Seokjin is quick to save you again. "Yup. All my fault. Shall we shoot?"
"Gladly." She smooths down a stray curl, studying her reflection in the glass windows. "I've been itching to see Y/N's aim since I got here. I hear you are a pro, no?"
You choke. A pro?
Luckily she's already stalking across the deck in her click-clacking wedges and out onto the damp green grass, missing the panicked glance shared between yourself and Seokjin.
"Uh-"
"Um-"
Seokjin shrugs his shoulders. Think of something, he mouths.
She stops dead, shooting a puzzled glance over her shoulder. "Well are you?"
"Not exactly-" You start.
"I think you're thinking of one of the other...candidates, Hyejin." Seokjin says carefully. He places his palm at the small of your back. The gesture was probably just for show but it comforts you none the less.
"I'm sure she's just being modest." She says to Seokjin, but she's looking right at you. Her forefinger taps against her palm and you can almost see the puzzle pieces falling together in her head before her expression smooths out and you let out a sigh of relief. "So. Shall we?"
Seokjin nods sheepishly. Hyejin slings an arrow into her bow with the ease of an expert, Seokjin quickly following suit. And it is in that moment, as you watch them shoot equally as precise shots to the centre of their respective targets, that it dawns on you. You have never shot a bow and arrow in your life.
"Let's see just how good you are." Hyejin steps back, offering you the main stage. You squint at the targets in the far distance, the rings blurring into one. How on earth did they make hitting those things look so easy?
"Sure thing." You wince at the strain in your voice as you fumble to pull an arrow from your quiver, fingers shaking as you try to sling it into the bow.
You can do this..
You lift the bow, close your eyes and hope for the best when you let go of the arrow, watching as it flies a short distance before sticking upright in the dirt just short of the target.
Cheeks scarlet, you glance at Hyejin who looks positively horrified. "When you said not exactly good I wasn't expecting you to be so...inexperienced. No personal trainer?" She muses, eyeing you quizzically, to which you shoot her an embarrassed smile in confirmation. "Anybody would think it was your first time!" You sheepishly giggle along to the hearty chuckle she enjoys at the mere thought, spluttering when her face suddenly darkens "It's not right?"
You freeze. "Uhhh..."
"It's just nerves," Seokjin insists, palms clamping your shoulders and thrusting you forward again. "She's probably just shitting it because you're watching."
"Language!" Hyejin scolds, letting the roll of Seokjin's eyes slip when she sees you fiddling with another arrow.
This time you prepare the bow with ease, a bout of confidence washing over you as you make eye contact with Seokjin over the top of the bow you raise to your shoulder. His eyes soften slightly and he offers an encouraging nod as you squint at the target and shoot the arrow straight into the centre ring.
You're momentarily shocked at your own abilities before Seokjin is letting out a genuinely impressed hoot, his hand coming between you to offer a sly high five unbeknownst to Hyejin. A silent congratulations for not completely fucking up.
"Pretty good." Hyejin nods, looking genuinely impressed, and you give yourself a silent pat on the back.
Holy shit. This is really working! She believes you belong here!
"Although I'm not sure where father got the idea of professional from with that technique," She lowered her voice, clearly only intending for Seokjin to hear the last part despite you standing beside her. "I must admit her figure seems better suited to tennis anyway..."
Or not. Maybe you still have some work to do...
Hyejin seems in a hurry to get to the next target, and Seokjin hangs back to whisper in your ear before you follow.
"Congrats," He hums with a smirk. "You fit right in. Welcome to Paradise, Y/N."
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The next forty five minutes pass quicker than you expect.
"— and I said, 'How could you seat the Jeon's next to the Jung's when you know they're feuding about the business contract'?" Hyejin exclaims. "Scandalous."
"Scandalous." You reply with a bored attempt at enthusiasm, raising your eyebrows at Seokjin over the rim of your glass as you sip cloudy lemonade through a straw. To his credit he looks equally as exhausted with Hyejin's spiel, shaking his knee impatiently as he itches for an opportunity to pounce.
As Hyejin continues to make mildly interrogative small talk and you find it increasingly easier to think on the spot when she asks about your family's (imaginary) dynasty and the university degree in economics you (supposedly) possess, you start to feel more comfortable. But Seokjin still refuses to loosen the arm resting around your shoulders keeping you planted by his side all afternoon, as if he is nervous his sister might swoop down like a bird and take you away at any moment, like a toddler with a toy.
That's why when she suggests a trip to the little girls room to powder your noses, Seokjin throws you a reluctant look. He protests at first when you readily agree (hoping to splash some cold water on your face to cool the constant burn that seems to have settled into your every pore) and he still looks concerned, knee bouncing nervously, when you peel yourself away from his body and disappear into the bar a few steps behind Hyejin who doesn't seem interested in side by side small talk.
In fact, you use the bathroom in silence and she doesn't speak another word until you catch her gaze in the mirror as she emerges from a cubicle behind you.
"You might have my little brother fooled but I see right through you, you know." She sets down her cosmetics bag on the sink, retrieving an expensive tube of lipstick and swiping the pinkish colour over her lips nonchalantly.
The tap stops running over your soaped up hands as you try to curb the nausea her words induce. Does she know who you are? Who you really are?
Despite the shake to your voice you try to play it cool. "W-what do you mean?"
Hyejin's laugh is small and tight, nothing about it humorous at all. Her eyes never leave her reflection, fluffing up her curls with an air of superiority. "I see through parasites like you straight away."
Your mouth falls agape with astonishment. "Parasites?"
"You should know that I have people all over this place who will find out exactly why you came here." For the first time she turns to look you dead in the eye, a bitter smile lacing her lips smugly. She is eye level but it feels like she is towering above you. "What is it you want? Money?"
"No I—"
"Just wait." Hyejin slings her bag over her shoulder triumphantly, voice getting smaller as her heels click across the tiles to the door. She pauses, poking her head back into the room as if burdened with an after thought. "You could do with some more mascara, by the way, darling. Would make you look much prettier."
And then she's gone, leaving you to watch her hips swaying into the distance with hands dripping dry onto the ground.
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By the time you calm your nerves enough to emerge from the bathroom looking semi-confident, Hyejin is already ordering another drink and Seokjin is straining his neck to search for you anxiously.
Even from a few meters away you can see the way he sighs with relief when he spots you approaching. It didn't last for long though as he must notice the slightly reddened rings around yours eyes that weren't there before and before you can give him a watery smile in greeting, he is on his feet.
"What happened?"
You bite your lip. "Seokjin, I think I need to go."
"I knew this would happen. Did she try and get in your head?" You nod and his face darkens. "I was an idiot bringing you here."
"It's fine, I shouldn't have agreed, you stay and I'll just go—"
"Right!" Seokjin makes a show of slapping his palms to his knees, practically jumping to his feet and dragging you up with him by your elbow, only a hare away from spilling the drink in your hands. "Sorry to cut this short but I think it's time for Y/N and I to be going."
Hyejin looks positively furious at the suggestion of saying goodbye, gesturing towards the bucket of ice in the centre of the table you had inhabited after your arms began to hurt from holding the archery bow. "But we haven't even opened the Champagne yet, Jin-"
"Oh I don't day drink." You wave her off, biting your lip with instant regret when you see how her face hardens.
"Sorry Hyejin but there really just isn't enough time," Seokjin insists, reaching for your bag to save you the trouble, slinging it across your shoulder and pushing you by the shoulders towards the exit. It's not like you have a choice in the matter but you have to admit you are relieved the whole fiasco is finished. "Send my best wishes to Wonho and Minhye!"
"Minhyuk." Hyejin splutters as she staggers to her feet, chair scraping obscenely. "Your nephew's name is Minhyuk!"
"Good to know!" Seokjin calls over his shoulder, already speed walking into the lobby before you can make out her response.
When Seokjin decides there is enough distance between you and the range he drops his arm from where it drapes around your shoulders. You didn't realise it was there until it was already gone, a cold emptiness settling over you. Why had it felt so natural?
He lets out a deep sigh of relief. "Thank god that's over with. I thought she would never stop talking."
You snort in agreement. "I've never told so many lies in my life."
"I find that hard to believe." Seokjin smirks when you slap his arm playfully. "It came too easily to you."
"It's your fault! Your deceptive ways are rubbing off on me!"
"Deceptive ways?" Seokjin splutters, a genuine laugh spilling from his lips. Heartier and much different to the strained chuckles he's been giving Hyejin all day. You decide by the way your heart lurches that you like it much better. "I'll have you know I never lie."
"You're joking right?" Surely he is aware that it was him that roped you into this identity fraud master plan in the first place? The smirk on his face says yes. It's your turn to laugh, mimicking his earlier tone. "I find that hard to believe."
"Then ask me a question and I'll tell you the honest truth and nothing but the truth."
"Uhh okay?" You pause, mulling over all the questions you really want to ask. Why did you choose me? Does this make us friends? Are you gonna look through me again at the restaurant when this whole thing is over?  Before you sheepishly settle on something more appropriate.
"How much is the resort worth? It must be a lot if you would go to all this...trouble."
"Five hundred."
"Five hundred thousand?"
"You're coy. Of course not." He chuckles. "Million."
Oh. Well now everything makes sense.
"Come on, ask me another." Seokjin bumps his shoulder against yours playfully, hair falling in his eyes that you’re desperate to push away. Your cheeks burn. "What's on your mind, kitchen girl?"
Don't say it...don't say it...
"D-did your sister hate me?"
Too late. The question slips out before you can stop it and you slap a hand over your mouth in shock.
He narrows his eyes. "Why do you want to know?"
Why do you want to know? It's not like any of this really mattered - it wasn't real after all. So why does your stomach twist when you remember the spiteful way Hyejin spoke to you?
You flash a sheepish smile. "J-just interested."
Your ego was just bruised that's all. It was natural to feel bad when someone didn't like you, right?
"Then yes."
Oh.
Your chest clenches for no reason. Maybe he really never lies after all, huh?
Seokjin must notice the way you pout. "It's not personal! That's just how she is. Honestly, out of all the candidates so far you're the one she hated the least..."
You snort. "Good to know?"
You come to a stop outside the locker room doors. You don't know what to say - what is left? Goodbye? Thank you?
You're probably never going to speak to him again, true; but goodbye feels too formal. Too real. Instead you stay quiet, the sound of cicadas and balls hitting racquets filling the silence as Seokjin’s chocolate brown eyes make you weak at the knees when they darken, his body drawing ever closer to yours.
"Aren't you gonna ask how I plan on repaying you?"
Seokjin's fingers wrap around your elbow before you can slip away and you gasp at how his skin burns yours. You swallow thickly. The light bounces off his face dazzlingly and you have to admit he looks good right now, with his shirt unbuttoned lazily and his bitten lips inches from yours.
"I-I forgot about that." You admit. Sure you had been uptight about this whole idea initially but you couldn't deny the fact that today had been kinda fun. Did you really need a reward? Maybe you'd got a little lost in pretending to be someone else. So what?
"Well," Seokjin draws closer until your back presses against the wall, his breath hot next to your ear. "I have something in mind."
Your pulse quickens when you feel his hand rest upon your hip, the rise and fall of his chest so close that you get tingles down your spine.
You swallow the lump in your throat. "W-what is it?"
His chuckle is warm against your sensitive neck and you shudder when his lips ghost over your skin, so so close. "Can I show you?"
"Sure." You breathe.
And then he takes you by the chin, lining up your mouths and crashing them together in a hot tangle of tongue and teeth, his chapped lips moving against yours with an urgency. Your arms snake around his neck, tangling in the hair at his nape and pulling him into you with a thump.
Before your eyes can flutter shut and your heart can get lost in the feeling of his teeth pulling at your bottom lip and the taste of sour lemonade that still lingers on his tongue, Seokjin pulls back with a smirk, eyes dropping to your parted lips and then back to your blown out eyes with a satisfaction.
He runs a knuckle down your cheek. You feel your legs weaken.  "I want you."
The huskiness in his voice makes your head spin, chest burning with the desire to connect your lips again. But you resist.
"Why?" You squeeze your eyes shut, head lolling back against the wall to avoid his gaze, embarrassed at how shaky your voice sounds after one kiss. God, you're weak. "Why me?"
"Like I said," Seokjin's fingers trace down your sides, eyes darkening when he notices the way the light touch makes you shiver under him. "I want you. Have since I first saw you."
He wants you? What about all those other girls, the ones he sent running? The ones who were much more suited to him than you would ever be?
"So what?" You scoff, biting your lip to stop a needy gasp when he presses a bold kiss to your jaw. "Want to add me to the list of girls who — mmf — w-who you seduced?"
He pauses, lips pressed against your burning skin for a little longer while he registers your words. "Maybe." He resumes his earlier actions, brushing a piece of hair behind your ear. "Is that so bad?"
"I can't do this." You bite your lip. This wasn't supposed to happen. You weren't intending on letting Seokjin get to you, didn't mean to become a mark in his black book or a notch in his bed post.
"Why not?" He presses his forehead to yours. Your breath hitches and you will the warm tingle in your stomach to go away. "I saw you checking me out on the range."
The way he grins tells you that you hadn't been so subtle after all.
"And besides," Seokjin grips your ass through your skirt, making you gasp to his satisfaction. "This way, I get to pay you back and have some fun of my own."
"H-how?" You can feel yourself slipping. Into his touch, into his words.
"By making you cum." That had your panties damp and he knew it, the heat between your legs distracting you from the way he groans against your lips when your hips buck into him involuntarily.
It's like he knows what you need, slotting his leg between your own and putting pressure on the growing ache in your core. "I know you want this too."
He's right, the way the cotton of your panties has begun to cling to your folds a tell tale sign of your arousal. Seokjin knew exactly how to make you putty in his hands. Every teasing touch of his lips to your neck, every feather light trace of his fingers has him chuckling darkly when you melt into his body, unable to resist the way he makes your core ache needily for his touch.
"Come on, I can make you feel good." Your breath hitches when fingers toy with the hem of your skirt. "If I just lift this up..."
Oh god. If you don't stop now it'll be too late...
His hand slips beneath your skirt, pads of his fingers hooking your sodden panties to the side, the flash of cold air against your needy folds making you whine into the crook of his neck. "P-please."
You feel him smirk against your hair, speaking with a tone so sickly sweet you would've rolled your eyes if your clit wasn't already pulsating for his touch. "Please what?"
"Make me cum."
"I knew you would come round." He pulls back to face you, drinking in the expression on your face which you presume is utterly fucked out. You have to admit the way his own irises have darkened with what you recognise as lust makes your stomach leap in anticipation. "So desperate for me already hm?"
You whine, somewhat in confirmation, somewhat in frustration at his refusal to touch you even when you buck against his hand. "Please."
"I wouldn't have put you down as the begging type." His hand suddenly cups your heat, pads of his fingers circling your entrance teasingly. He lets out a choked groan when he feels your arousal. "This wet for me? Already?"
"What do you expect?" You stammer, squeezing his shoulders and holding back on the urge to buck against his palm again. "You've got your hand up my skirt."
"Mmm, I could just make you come undone right here." His eyes darken, tongue snaking out to wet his chapped lips hungrily. "Could easily fuck you out nice and slow with my fingers if I wanted to, hmm?" Seokjin has begun to circle your entrance teasingly, making you squirm every time he nearly slips inside.
"Fuck." Your eyes are squeezed shut, breathing already laboured despite him barely even touching you, just the thought of him filling you up getting you dangerously worked up. "I want you to."
"What was that?" Seokjin's lips curve up mischievously, one of his fingers nearly filling you up before he removes his hand and you groan with frustration. "Gotta use your words sweetheart."
Your heart thumps at the use of the pet name but you choose to ignore it, instead reaching between your bodies to clasp his wrist before it disappears completely. "Fuck me," you pant, eyes roaming his with desperation. His staunch gaze never falters. "Please, fuck me now."
Seokjin connects your swollen lips again, but not before mumbling against them gruffly. "Remember you asked for it."
Then, his free hand to spreads your legs, knee stopping them from closing as his other hand closes in on your aching core. The feeling of his digits running down your soaked slit has you panting and you feel your legs buckle when he pressed two of his lithe fingers into your heat without warning. You are dripping by now, hole accommodating the stretch and allowing his fingers to slip inside easily.
Your clit pulsates with need and you want to feel Seokjin everywhere, have him take you in any way he wants, momentarily lost to the feeling of his fingers pumping in and out of your heat; until you remember that you have Seokjin's hand down your pants in broad daylight and anyone could walk by and see just how weak he makes you.
"Wait!" He halts his ministrations, raising a brow. "W-we can't, not here."
You mewl when his thumb ghosts across your swollen clit, touch light but enough to have you gasping into the crook of his neck.
"Let's take this inside, then." Before you can ask what he means his fingers disappear, leaving your hole clenching agonisingly around nothing again. He presses the arousal coated digits to your lips and you enjoy the way his jaw tightens as you eagerly take them into your hot mouth, humming when you taste yourself on your own tongue. "Fuck you'll drive me crazy if you keep this up."
You can tell you are getting to him, even if he is trying to hide it. The way his eyes roll back when you suck his fingers clean, how he bites his cheek to stop a lustful groan when his eyes dip between your bodies to your almost naked heat tells you all you needed to know.
He can't take it any longer.
Seokjin pulls his hand away with a wet pop, your throbbing heat protesting when he let your legs fall shut, linking his clammy hand with your own. "Come with me."
It takes a second to remember how to walk, letting him pull you behind him in your dizzy haze. His hand is warm in yours and your entire body aches to feel them on you again. It's already too late to hide your swollen lips and slightly mussed up hair before Seokjin drags you right into the men's locker room .
"Wait, we can't do it in here—"
"Everyone out!" Seokjin's voice bellows through the locker room, all its inhabitants pausing their ministrations to peer at you curiously.
You try to let go of Seokjin's hand to button up your shirt but he won't let you, squeezing your hand reassuringly as you hide behind him self consciously, knees knocking. "We need to use the locker room."
A groan erupts through the room, a chorus of again? permeating the sound of lockers slamming shut with frustration before one by one all the dudes in the locker room began to shuffle past you to the exit.
"Seokjin!" You hiss, standing on your tiptoes to whisper in his ear angrily. "Now everyone knows!"
Seokjin's thumb rubs across your knuckles soothingly. "Who cares?"
You feel your cheeks flush hotly when a man you recognise from the restaurant, now wearing nothing but a towel, narrows his eyes in a knowing look. You willed the ground to swallow you up.
The sound of footsteps ceases, the door swings closed and finally you're alone.
"Better?" Seokjin turns to you expectantly.
"I can't believe you just did that!" You cover your face with your palms. "God how am I going to look any of them in the eyes again."
"They don't care." He soothes, your unamused expression not faltering still.
"Are you even allowed to do that? W-What if they tell someone—"
"They won't," Seokjin smirks. "They value their memberships here too much."
You bite your lip. "Maybe we shouldn't do this."
Seokjin rushes forward to cup your face in his palms reassuringly. The act feels a little too sincere and you nearly melt at the intimacy, resisting copying his motion by pinching your palm instead. "It's okay, seriously! They're just jealous that I get lucky more around here than any of the old bastards have in their entire lives."
"I don't believe you." Your words are muffled by his chest, his chuckle vibrating against your cheek.
"They're jealous because they'll never get this lucky."
"Huh?" Seokjin's hands slide down the small of your back to cup your ass, lifting your entire weight so that your legs wrap around his waist. You let out a giggle of surprise when his face comes into view, smirking up at you.
"Lucky enough to get someone as pretty as you underneath them."
There they are again, the butterflies in your stomach, the skip of a beat in your heart, a warmth spreading through your chest that feels too good to question right now. "Technically I'm above you." You mumble. "Besides they were all, like, fifty years old or something."
"Just shut up would you?" Seokjin stumbles forward, throwing you roughly onto one of the couches. The fabric feels like velvet when your nails clutch at it desperately, trying to hold on to whatever control you have left when Seokjin drops to his knees between your legs to hover over you. "And kiss me for fucks sake."
You oblige, pulling him by the collar to connect your lips in a kiss even more heated than before if that was even possible. His tongue runs along your bottom lip, begging for entrance and you sigh contentedly into the kiss when he pulls your face even closer with his palms.
"F-fuck." He pulls back with a pop, hands roaming along the tops of your thighs too teasingly for you to handle. By now you're so worked up that you just needed him to take you roughly, the thought of his cock pounding in and out of you making you moan when you feel his bulge brush your leg. God you want him more than you knew it was possible, the way your clit pulses at the thought of how good it would feel to come around him or better yet feel him come inside you overwhelming.
"Seokjin, p-please fuck me." You practically whine, letting your head fall against the couch cushion when his thumbs fiddle with the lace of your panties. "Wanna feel you inside me."
The sound that comes from his throat seems strangled. "Fuck, what did I say about driving me crazy?"
"Need you so bad," You rotate your hips to emphasise your desperation, the action providing you with no relief when his steel like grip prevents you from putting any pressure on your dripping folds. "Wanna cum for you."
You blink up at him through your lashes and you swear you see his adam's apple bob as he swallows a moan. He liked it when you provoked him, you could tell. His resolve is crumbling with every word out of your mouth.
"Please, I'm so wet." Fuck, you are. You can feel it dripping down your ass, probably making a mess of the couch below you. You hope it can be dry cleaned. "Just fuck me now—mmf!"
Seokjin shuts you up with a hard press of his lips to yours, the action conveying he's just as desperate as you, the way his hands trembled telling you he isn't as unaffected as he wants to appear.
His breathing is nearly as ragged as yours now. "You like riling me up don't you?"
He runs a shaky hand through his hair exasperatedly and you look up at him hopeful, willing him to touch you, kiss you, anything.
"I'm not going to fuck you."
Oh.
You stiffen beneath him, his words shocking you still.
He doesn't want you. Simple as that.
This was just another one of his games and you fell straight into it. You close your eyes and braced for him to start laughing. To point his finger and tell you how lame you are for ever thinking that someone like him could want someone like you.
Except nothing comes. Just the sound of your shaky breaths and a shower running nearby.
"Why?" Your voice is small now and you draw your knees to your chest, trying to hide as much from him as possible. "You don't want to?"
He looks dismayed at your suggestion, palms shooting out to push you back down and pull you back into his hold again.
"It's not that, Y/N." You let out a relieved breath, not fighting Seokjin when his forehead falls against your chest in defeat, heavy breaths ghosting across the tops of your breasts. You're sure he can feel the way your heart beats uncontrollably in your chest.
"Then why?" You bite your lip. You sound too needy, to whiny. Why do you even care if he wants you or not? This is a one off anyway.
"God, I want nothing more than to strip you and see you bounce on my cock right here"
Oh.
Seokjin's lips attach to your neck, sucking harshly like a man deprived, as though he can't hold back any longer. His hands roam everywhere they can reach, rubbing your breasts over your shirt before his fingers work on the buttons eagerly.
"S-Seokjin..."
"Would give anything to see you come undone on my cock. Bet you'd moan so pretty when I pound you, yeah?"
Truth be told you'd let him right now if he said the word, the thought of him stretching you out making you see stars before he has even properly touched you. Your core is hot and sticky against your panties while you clench around nothing while his every word makes you writhe to be filled. "Then w-why don't you?"
"Because there's plenty of time for that, princess." He flashes you a smile. Plenty of time? Why did he make it sound as if this wasn't a one time thing? As if you'd be back for more? "This is for you remember? Gotta pay you back."
You yelp when Seokjin lifts your ass, thumbs finally dragging your panties down your legs and throwing them behind him before he spreads your legs with a hunger. "Let me taste you, hm?"
Seokjin pushes your skirt around your waist, exposing your core to his hungry eyes, drinking in how you look all spread out for him. Just the sight of him so close to your dripping heat makes the coil in your stomach tighten and you're sure you could cum just from the way his lips part in anticipation.
He looks up at you for confirmation, smirking when you nod your head before falling back against the couch weakly when he drags a finger down your slit teasingly, licking his lips when you mewl at the brief contact with your clit. "So pretty."
He sinks back against his heels, cheek warm against your inner thigh, hot breath caressing your clit. A moan escapes you at the feeling much to his amusement, his bruising grip on your thighs stopping you from bucking up. "Hurry up — mmf — please."
For the first time he listens to your request, skipping the teasing to run a long stripe up your soaking slit. Seokjin groans against your clit and you quiver, his staggered breaths hot against your dripping folds. "Taste so good, sweetheart."
"S-Seokjin," Hands spread your legs as far as they cN go and then plump lips engulf your clit, sucking with a perfect harshness that makes your legs shake and your head fall back with a gasp, hands tangling in his blonde locks tightly enough to have him groaning blissfully. "Fingers!"
The breathiness of your voice makes him chuckle against your heat, vibrations enough to have your knees straining to close around his head, the pressure between them almost too much. "What was that?"
"Fingers," You reiterate, aware of how fucked out you soundjust from feeling his tongue on your clit, every teasing flick making your entrance pulse. "Inside me, now."
"No please?" The drag of Seokjin's flat tongue down your slit to prod at your hole is sinful, the way he took to fucking you with his tongue teasingly drawing small whimpers from your lips. It's mesmerising how he knows just how to make you fall apart.
"P-please!"
The gentle brush of his nose against your clit nearly has you coming on the spot. "Turn over." He growls against your mound. An arm wraps around your waist and before you can protest his mouth leaving your heat, you are being flipped onto your hands and knees, Seokjin's palm pushing your head down against your forearms so that your ass comes up for his viewing pleasure. "That's more like it."
"F-fuck." It feels dirty being on display for him like this, dripping wet and wiggling your hips, desperate for friction against your spread folds. Pressing your cheek to the couch, you catch a glimpse of Seokjin's expression as he takes you in, eyes black with desire, lips still coated in your sticky arousal.
"Shit." His breath hitches. "Such a pretty pussy, hm?"
It's your turn to take a shaky inhale when a single finger circles your entrance, Seokjin humming approvingly when you clench hopelessly around nothing. Knowing you are so close to being filled even with a single finger gets you panting, circling your hips and trying to sink down onto the digit that smears your wetness through your folds lewdly. Seokjin pulls his hand away with a click of his tongue.
"That desperate to be filled, baby?" His tone is taunting, followed by a chuckle when you whine at the way his words make your clit throb. "Fuck, such a slut, dripping wet for just my fingers."
He reaches around to press the pad of his finger against your lips and you suck it instinctively, humming when you taste yourself, some of your sticky arousal smearing on your chin. Seokjin's head rolls back, the visual practically sending him into sensory overload.
"Such a slut," A loud slap fills the room, a palm landing flat against your upturned ass, the sensation making you cry out in surprise. His breath is hot and ragged against your ear. "You like that?"
Despite the embarrassed shake of your head another smack lands to the flesh of your other cheek with enough force to leave a mark this time. It stings when he rubs his calloused hands over the reddening skin that is now burning hot where it collided with his palm but the pain quickly dissipates to pleasure and you bite your hand to stop from moaning out too lewdly. "Use your words, princess."
"Seokjin!" You can't hold back from whining his name when his palm lands straight on your heat, the sharp pain a somehow welcome relief when he instantly rubbed a few soothing circles into your folds with the pads of his fingers, each graze of your clit making your legs shake uncontrollably. "I-I need more."
"This?" Without warning he presses two fingers into your pussy, entrance squeezing around him wildly at the pleasant stretch. Every flick of his wrist permeates through the locker room with a loud squelch, testament of just how worked up you were.
"Ugh!" Every drag of his fingers against your velvety walls has your eyes rolling back, the way he curls the digits with every thrust hitting your sweet spot perfectly, like he knew exactly how to drive you crazy. "S-so good."
You are starting to get out of breath, meeting his thrusts by rocking back against his hand and this time he doesn't protest, encouraging you by kneading the flesh of your ass and groaning in time with the sharp gasps leaving your lips each time the heel of his hand brushes your swollen clit.
"Think you can cum again with just my fingers, baby?" The way you clench around around his digits is a tell tale sign that your second high is close. Just his words alone nearly make you fall over the edge, words slurred as you try to focus on anything other than the unrelenting pulse between your legs.
"N-need more." You sound utterly fucked out, eyes squeezed shut and lost to the feeling of being filled but the stretch isn't quite enough and you need more to tip you over the edge. "Another one."
Seokjin lines up a third finger with your entrance, the ring on his finger cold against your hot walls as he slides it in beside the others at an agonisingly slow pace; to allow you to adjust to the stretch or to taunt you can't tell. By the time he gets to his knuckles your body is wracked with laboured breaths, quivering knees barely able to hold your weight as you bite the inside of your cheeks to curb a string of whines at being finally filled.
Of course, his fingers weren't as good as the real thing and you wonder how he is able to control himself when your mouth waters at the thought of feeling him inside of you instead of his hand.
The room is still a little humid from the showers, a layer of sweat glistening across your skin as you chase your high with determination, the stickiness between your legs dripping down Seokjin's wrist and making him tut, the click of his tongue heightening the sensation.
"That's it, cum for me." The authority lacing his tone tips you over the edge, another smack stinging your ass as you bury your face in the couch with a cry, the feeling of his fingers pumping you through your high almost too much to bare but as soon as they are ripped away and you're left clenching around nothing you miss the feeling of being full.
"So pretty when you cum." Seokjin murmurs. Under normal circumstances you would have been embarrassed, self conscious even with your ass up for anyone to see, release leaking on to the couch, but you're too fucked out to care about anything m, barely able to register Seokjin's new found gentleness as he flips you onto your back and tucks a piece of hair behind your ear while you focus on returning your breathing back to a normal pace.
"Holy shit." The beat of your heart seemsdeafening in your ears, the only other sound you can comprehend being Seokjin's own ragged breathing.
"Fuck, I nearly just came in my pants." When you manage to turn your head he is staring straight at you with disbelief, eyes travelling to your swollen lips. "I'm going to jerk off to this image forever."
"Me too." You murmur honestly.
Your lids fall shut in post orgasm bliss, not expecting the incoming peck Seokjin presses to your parted lips. It is barely a kiss, plump flesh of his lips brushing yours for less than a second but a funny warmth spreads through your chest at the gesture. Seokjin seems as surprised as you, as if he can't quite believe he just did that, shuffling to the other side of the couch to put some distance between you.
"You should uh, get dressed." He mumbles, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly and turning away to give you some privacy, as if he hadn't just had his head between your legs just a moment ago.
His behaviour, albeit kind of strange, makes you smirk and you decide it won't hurt to tease. "Well, at least now we're even."
Seokjin bites his lip when he turns around to find your skirt back around your thighs, overcome with a new confidence, sauntering over and palming your ass like he owns it. "Nope, not getting away that easily. I think you'll find I made you cum twice. So now you owe me. Again."
"And what do I owe you this time, Kim Seokjin?" You place your hands on his chest, no instinct to push him away for some reason. "Golfing with your brother up next?"
"No," He scoffs. "My brother wouldn't be caught dead with a club."
"Then what?"
You notice the glint in his eye again, the one you are starting to crave. "Let me get to know you."
"Isn't that what you did today?"
He shakes his head. "The real you."
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advena87 · 4 years
Text
Lambert and Aiden on the Path Part 3
Here is Part 1
Here is Part 2
As with part 1 and 2 , this is when Lambert and Aiden were just building their bond. Please remember that they share one brain cell and mayhem is their natural habitat.
***
Aiden: You should cooperate with us, we need this information to kill monster. Thug: And what’s in it for me? Aiden, points to Lambert: He’ll stop doing it. Thug: Doing what? Lambert: *quickly grabs the thug and smacks his head on the table* Thug: Ow, fuck! Aiden: That.
***
Aiden: What's wrong with you?
Lambert: Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of parental affection, and a genetic predisposition for alcoholism, anxiety and depression.
Aiden: I really like you, but you are a terrible person to talk about personal stuff.
Lambert: Thanks, that means a lot to me.
***
Lambert: Stay where I can see you.
Aiden: What am I, a kid?
Lambert: Kids are baby goats. They're cute, and they have redeeming social value. You are definitely not a kid.
***
Village Chief: You are without a doubt the worst witchers I've ever heard of.
Aiden: But you have heard of us!
Village Chief: The neighboring village burned down because of you, so it was hard not to hear. There is a reward for your heads.
Lambert: We're getting the fuck out of here.
Aiden: But he heard of us!
***
Aiden: You're so committed to being not committed.
Lambert: Oh hell no, we don’t do that. I would rather bleed out and die than sit here and talk about my feelings.
Aiden: I understand that sarcasm is your thing, and I want to love and accept all parts of you, but can you please not make jokes about dying right now?
***
Aiden: I didn’t even stab him!
Lambert, sarcastically: I’m so proud of you. No stabbing Wednesday. New tradition.
***
Lambert: So that’s your plan?
Aiden: Please, I don’t plan! I scheme.
***
Lambert: You’re alive!!!
Aiden: Philosophically, arguable, but physically, yes I am.
*** 
Aiden: I think I know what's going on in your head, Lambert.
Lambert: Well then, welcome to the terror dome.
***
Aiden: Speaking of trouble, we should have run into some by now.
Lambert: What do you mean?
Aiden: You know, a villain, a booby trap...
*the street lights go out, leaving them in darkness*
Aiden: ... Or an ambush.
***
Lambert: Aiden, are you spying on me?
Aiden: I'm a cat. I'm curious. So kill me.
***
Lambert, waking Aiden: Hey- You ok?
Aiden: I'm dead.
Lambert: I know, you must feel like shit after that-
Aiden: No. I went into cardiac arrest eight minutes ago. I'm deceased.
Lambert: Oh, come on- *checks Aiden's pulse* What the fuck... How are you talking?
Aiden: Superior Cat witcher training. Indomitable will.
Lambert: You really don't have a fucking pulse!
Aiden: Just adrenaline and rage keeping me going. Also, a swallow.
***
*Lambert and Aiden are hiding from chase in the niche between the buildings*
Lambert: Is that your fucking hand on my ass?
Aiden: It was an accident.
Lambert: Aiden, your hand's still on my ass.
Aiden: IT'S STILL AN ACCIDENT!
***
Aiden: I need to get my business in order before I drag you into it.
Lambert: What if I told you I wanna be dragged into it? I could help, maybe.
Aiden: Why now? Why are you all of a sudden into me now?
Lambert: I don't know. I haven't overanalysed it, like you're about to.
***
* during the night hunt in the city*
Aiden: So, this is romantic... The two of us, full moon...
Lambert: Homeless guy pissing on a dumpster...
***
Lambert, to Aiden: You know, you have a talent for turning a bad situation into the worst case scenario.
***
Aiden: Hey, wanna help me commit a felony?
Lambert: What the hell?!
Aiden: Oh, sorry, my bad.
Aiden, whispering: Wanna help me commit a felony?
Lambert, whispering: Of course, dude, what do you need?
***
Lambert, holding Aiden in his arms: Can I have a moment alone with him?
Villagers: Of course *leaves*
Lambert: Now listen asshole, I know you're not dead.
Aiden: Yeah, no shit-
***
Aiden: Sometimes my mouth keeps moving before I can even think about what's coming out of it.
Lambert: Same.
Aiden: Your turn.
Lambert: Well, personally I'm a fan of ignoring a problem until eventually it just goes away or bite my ass.
Aiden: Same…
***
Lambert: I don’t need friends! I HAVE KNIVES! *throws knife*
Aiden: *dodges*
Lambert: I’m... Out of knives.
***
Lambert: [lists off his numerous enemies] Aiden: How does one man have so many enemies? Lambert: I’m a people person who drinks. Aiden: Ah.
***
Lambert: Every time I ask you to do something, you always manage to screw it all up.
Aiden: And yet you continue to ask me. You need help, mister.
***
Lambert: Looks like I got here just in time.
Aiden: What do you mean, just in time?
Lambert: You were in very big trouble.
Aiden: I had the situation under control.
Lambert: Mmm, I see. So which part of the situation did you have under control: the blocked entrance, the poison gas, or that guy behind you?
Aiden: Oh, you mean that one that’s too far away to worry about?
***
Aiden: I'll admit I've done a lot of things in my life that I'm not proud of.
Aiden: No, no, that's not true, I'm proud of most of them.
 ***
Aiden: Bottom line, are you in or are you out?
Lambert: Well then I'm out.
Aiden: Actually you're already in.
Lambert: Then why would you ask me?
Aiden: Because I thought you would go, "I'm in, Aiden!", and we would have had a really cool moment, but you kind of ruined the whole thing.
***
Lambert: Ok, let's go free an innocent woman.
Aiden: Nice. My dreams are coming true. You and me getting a lady off together.
Lambert: I mean, you know how that sounds, right?
***
Aiden: Do you love me? It's a simple question.
Lambert: It's not a simple answer.
Aiden: I know.
***
Aiden: Lambert, just give up before you embarrass yourself.
Lambert: Oh no, I never give up before I embarrass myself.
***
Aiden: Did I ever tell you how pretty you look when you’re angry? 
Lambert: Well I must look gorgeous right now because I’m furious! 
***
Lambert: Aiden, I was kidding myself. All that planning and reading… I don’t have a clue where we’re going.
Aiden: You’re doing great. Besides, we NEVER know what we’re doing. Remember cursed forest?
Lambert: You made cute plant food.
Aiden: And this village near Novigrad, how you got us locked in prison?
Lambert: I got us locked in? That was totally your fault!
Aiden: See? It’ll be fine.
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daxieoclock · 3 years
Text
Birds and Flowers: Hunters Highlights
Just closed out another fucking MINDBLOWING session with some scenes I’ve been scheming in the background for literal months. These in-between times are going absolutely unreal and I NEED to share it with you all djfgbjdfg.
I’m including a bit from last session as well, since it’s also really good and helps set the scene.
Everyone Else (DaxieVane) A sizable white boat bobbing in the slight surf. Purple text on the side proclaims it "The Partridge."
The Partridge has an outside deck on the bow with some seats, and an inside room where the wheel is, lined with comfy couches. Before you cast off, Sakio addresses you all. "Hunters. You've done some truly amazing work. This isn't much of a celebration, but I hope you take some time to relax, and enjoy yourselves." She beams at you all. "I'm deeply proud of you for the steps you've taken within both Fractals and your own lives. I hope you can all find some pride in those accomplishments as well."
And the boat rumbles to life, and pushes out into the open ocean.
Blake Leto (Jane 🐈) Blake slides into the cabin and takes a seat on one of the couches, returning to their book.
Lena Tarr (Dave) Lena is gonna sit down on the same couch as Blake, and let out a weary sigh. "What'chu reading?"
Blake Leto (Jane 🐈) “Ah,” they look up, not having noticed her at first.
“Oh, you know me,” they say with a chuckle. “Just another mystery novel…” They shake their head. “Though this particular series feels like it’s going downhill…” they sound a little sad at that, turning the book over in their hands.
Lena Tarr (Dave) She chuckles. "Honestly, I couldn't tell. I don't get those at all." She nods to the book. "Everything's so. Complicated. But in kinda dumb ways."
Blake Leto (Jane 🐈) And they flash their a smile. “Yes, I suppose I can understand that. Although the world can be kind of like that too, can’t it?” And they give a little chuckle.
Lena Tarr (Dave) Lena grins. "Oh, you know it. Like. The thing with those three fucks? Dumb as all shit." She shrugs. "You can't escape it though. You can't just say that it's dumb and make them leave. You gotta." She twirls the cane in her hands. "Do something."
Blake Leto (Jane 🐈) They give her an uncertain look and then turn back to their book, idly flipping the pages in their hands. “Unfortunate as it is, I have to agree. Inaction is rarely the solution to anything. In fact, passivity is probably one of the traits that bothers me the most…” They grin a little as they say that.
Lena Tarr (Dave) "Hm." She keeps twirling her cane. "I don't know if one of those bastards came to you too, or someone else reached out to you, but I guess you should know. The dude I punched came to the campus. Made sure I knew the next time I get in his way it'll be bad." She grins at the floor. "Damned if you do, damned if you don't."
Blake Leto (Jane 🐈) They look back up, a little surprised. “Ah.” And they rest the book in their lap, expression becoming more serious, crossing their arms over their chest. “I see… in that case, we should be even more careful. And we ought to be proactive…” they adjust their glasses. “We don’t want to instigate conflict, but we also can’t let them step on us… you’re right that it’s a tricky situation.” They whip out their phone, typing something. “I’d prefer not to get you alone with him if we can help it. Chances are, if you’re in a group, he’ll back down. And if he doesn’t…” they shrug, their expression serious. “We can take him.”
Lena Tarr (Dave) She throws the cane from one hand to the other. "We shouldn't have to though. Heh." She bends over slightly and puts her weight on the cane. "Not like that changes anything." She thinks for a second. "I'm. Sorry. For making it worse." She snorts. "Probably won't be the last time."
Blake Leto (Jane 🐈) They chuckle a little. “Did you come here with the intention to bum me out…?” They smile, eyes on their feet, looking a little distant. “I’m not the type to happily let other people get stepped on if it makes my own life easier,” and they pause, catching the irony in that with a little smile. “Regardless of what you may have heard about me.” They shrug. “Whatever you may do, you’re a part of this team. And that means we will back up whatever actions you take. If you’ve picked this fight, then we’ll finish it. Simple as that.” And they give you a cheery little smile, one crafted for the cameras, though somehow it feels a little more genuine here, just a bit.
Lena Tarr (Dave) Lena looks at them for a moment, before leaning back on the couch, just a bit more relaxed. "You're really something, Leto. Really something." And she's smiling too.
**********
Sammy Cabra (Nyanko) I don't know boats very well, but Sammy is probably laying down on the deck of the boat somewhere-- not on a chair, like...on the floor-- if you want to go say hewwo--
Ilse Belanger (Ralu) Ilse follows Sammy onto the outer deck, happy to be in the sun and to feel the breeze.  They enjoy the sensation for a moment, then approach Sammy. “Mind if I join you?”
Sammy Cabra (Nyanko) Sammy is already flat on the ground, staring straight into the sun. They look at Ilse, "Please do!" they can't hide the excitement in their voice.
Ilse Belanger (Ralu) “Thank you” Ilse smiles widely and sits down, then fishes out of their bag and holds a pair of sunglasses over Sammy’s head. “Not to disturb your view, but I have them spare. Would you like them?”
Sammy Cabra (Nyanko) Sammy is startled by the sudden darkness the sunglasses have caused, but they quickly grab a hold of them. "F-For me? You're giving these to me?" Sammy sits up and scans the boat and sky, holding the shades up in front of them instead of putting them on. "I can really have these? You're giving me magic glasses?" Sammy looks at Ilse to confirm if they're serious or not.
Ilse Belanger (Ralu) Ilse is a bit taken aback by that strong reaction, and they rub the back of their neck before answering. “Not magic, I’m sorry, but yes. You can have them. Only if you want them, of course.”
Sammy Cabra (Nyanko) Sammy pauses for a long time, looking at you through the not-so-magic shades. There's a brief moment when you can see a tear start to roll down Sammy's face, but they quickly turn the other way. "I don't mind if they're not magic...you gave them to me, so I'm going to keep them forever..." Sammy wipes their eyes with their sleeves before turning back to Ilse. "I love them! Thank you!" Sammy gasps like they just had the BEST idea in the world. They grab their bag, that was always next to them and I totally didn't forget that they had this-- and start digging through it. After a bit, they pull out a small, clay, goat figurine. "Here! This will be my magic gift to you, for giving me magic glass!" They placed the goat figurine on your head instead of in your hands. "This is the lucky goat! They're super lucky and if you take them to the park on Wednesdays, the ice cream man will appear!" Sammy looks serious, so you can't tell if they're joking around or not.
Ilse Belanger (Ralu) Ilse stares at Sammy, first wondering if they did something wrong, then actively worried. They lift their hand, unsure what to do, before Sammy starts to speak and they leave the hand simply hanging, eyes following every of Sammy’s movements. Then, a goat on their head. Very carefully and still they reach for it, slowly lower it toward the gaze. “It’s beautiful. Thank you. I will be at the park next Wednesday. Will take it with me.” They look just as serious as Sammy.
**********
Everyone Else (DaxieVane) sakio's up on the outer deck, watching the waves
she's got a wide-brimmed yellow hat on
Camellia Pavel (Rhela) Camellia has been mostly quiet, bundled up and clearly not a fan of the cold. They sluggishly get up and trot over to sit by Sakio. "You seem awfully sunny despite being out in this freezing wet crap," they say good naturedly, if a bit grumpy.
Everyone Else (DaxieVane) She just shrugs, one hand on her hat, sending a smile at you. "I'm with good company," she says, raising her voice a little to be heard over the waves, but maintaining a soft tone. "Besides that, the semester's over. No more grading until March." She laughs. "Plenty more time to prioritize you all, before Spring semester begins. I don't have to feel guilty about giving you special treatment."
Camellia Pavel (Rhela) "I guess we HAVE kinda gotten the 'teacher's pet' status, for lack of better words. Maybe even exceeded," they smirked.
"I certainly suppose a break from your main job is welcome."
Everyone Else (DaxieVane) "Hm," Sakio says, and you can barely hear her. She takes a moment to just watch the waves. "Teaching is my passion. I wouldn't have taken the job if it hadn't been. Being a dean though...I can't say it's brought me a surplus of joy. It's a dirty job, I suppose, but someone has to do it. Might as well be me." She brushes a strand of hair behind one ear. "How are you, by the way?"
Camellia Pavel (Rhela) They bark a soft laugh. "True, true." A sudden gust of chilly wind rushed across the boat, making Camellia momentarily hunker further into their coat. "Ah, well enough. With some recent financial assets I've lived a bit more comfortably these past weeks. And I've been making more crafts as of late. It's eased my mind quite a deal."
Everyone Else (DaxieVane) "That's good," she says, nodding slightly. "Very good." A deep breath in, and out. "I'm a little curious, if you don't mind me asking. I've been thinking back to when we first met, and I can't seem to wrap my head around..." Sakio purses her lips. "On second thought, I don't believe I need to know. Perhaps it would simply be best for me to trust you, all of you, and leave well enough alone."
Camellia Pavel (Rhela) Camellia's eyes narrow momentarily, unsure and curious where Sakio's train of thought was heading. They huff a short chuckle as their gaze softens and diverts to the water below. "Well... I'll trust your trust."
**********
Everyone Else (DaxieVane) You all take a nice long boat ride, slowing a few times to admire distant sea lions on the shore or when Valerie thinks she spots a whale (she says it three separate times and at no point do you ever see a whale). After a few long hours, when the sun is starting to get a little lower in the sky, the Partridge is going to pull back into the Long View dock.
Lena Tarr (Dave) lena absolutely fell asleep
Everyone Else (DaxieVane) lena and camellia nap buddies? djhfbgjh
Lena Tarr (Dave) god knows we are sleeping!!!
in a warm little pile
Sammy Cabra (Nyanko) Sammy is also napping, but you can't tell because they're wearing their new cool shades in the same "I am looking directly at the sun" position--
*****
Everyone Else (DaxieVane) Camellia. It's dark. The lights that normally light the campus are all off. And you're running after someone. They're faster than you, which shouldn't be right, because you and them should always be at the same pace, you've always been in lock step but now they're ten paces ahead of you. It's like a game, except that you can't afford to lose, and they won't slow down. Frey won't wait for you.
Camellia Pavel (Rhela) They're panting, air entering their lungs like cold briars constricting in their chest as fire sears in their legs. Old shoes frantically hit the pavement and the noise echoes among the darkened campus as they run and run, but can't seem to catch up. "Frey, stop -- just stop! Please slow down, I can't reach you!"
Everyone Else (DaxieVane) And they turn midstep, and laugh. "Come on flower child," they say, and their voice is familiar, and yet not quite the way it should be. Like two tones woven together. "You know you're too high up by now. You're too close." And they hop over a small ledge.
When you follow, when you hop over that ledge too, your feet catch and you stumble and the campus is gone. And so is Frey. And you can see the world, from up here. Up on the edge of some shiny purple surface, staring down at the curvature of a violet Earth, neuron stars shifting across its infinite expanse.
"Too close," Frey's voice echoes. "Too close. Too close."
Camellia Pavel (Rhela) Camellia's breath comes in short panicked bursts as their head jerks back and forth, surveying their surroundings. Their face is disgusting, gummy with sweat, tears, and flecks of drool that glisten in the low purple glow. "I--," they gasp out. "What...?"
"I don't understand,"
Everyone Else (DaxieVane) You're standing on the edge of an enormous flower, on one of the petals, its stem stretching down and down and down until it bleeds into the world, bursts through its skin and spreads roots. Or, maybe it's the other way around.
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Too close.
And a petal snaps off. Not the one you're on, but it drifts down, falling and falling.
Too far.
A petal snaps off.
Too close.
A petal snaps off.
Too far.
A petal snaps off.
Too close.
And you snap off. And plummet towards the world at a thousand miles an hour, like a shooting star.
And then you wake up. It's morning. You're covered in sweat, back in your apartment.
Camellia Pavel (Rhela) Camellia chokes out a gasp as they awaken, panting as they stared glass-eyed at the ceiling. "A nightmare...? they wonder. They breathe shakily and turn on their side, curling in on themself. "Or something more? I don't... I don't know anymore..." Sheets are pulled up over their head as they hide away from the lingering threads of the dream, as if still a child hiding away from the monsters they imagined dancing in the shadows of their closet.
**********
Ilse Belanger (Ralu) If possible, Ilse would like to go to the park in the hope of getting some ice cream. I was also thinking of doing a Twitch scene, but I don’t know if they would invite him along
Blake Leto (Jane 🐈) Ilse just texts twitch like “hey check this shit out I’ve got a magic goat”
Everyone Else (DaxieVane) He's got his hood up, and he looks a little bit like a zombie, kinda dazed, but he seems happy enough to join.
"So, uh," he mumbles, "park. There's an ice cream place downtown, you know. I mean, it kinda sucks, but it's there." The ice cream shop in question has like...exclusively artistically ice creams, nonsense hippie flavors that all taste 90% the same.
Ilse Belanger (Ralu) Ilse nods, eyes scanning the surrounding. “It...definitely is, yeah. But we might be lucky and have an ice man arriving here today? Or any ice person?” They twist the little goat in their hands. “I’m sorry if it was all for nothing in the end. If you’ll allow me then, I’ll invite you for a cup at the other place” Suddenly their eyes light up. “Care for a bet?”
Everyone Else (DaxieVane) Twitch raises an eyebrow. "Um, I'm not really...a betting person?" He shrugs. "I guess...uh, sure. Bet on whether ice cream shows up?"
Ilse Belanger (Ralu) “Bet on whether ice cream shows up!” They grin. “Wrong guess pays for the sweets?”
Everyone Else (DaxieVane) "Hm." Twitch takes a look around the empty park, and then down at the goat. "Okay. Uh. Yeah, sure. You're on." No sooner has he said that than you hear a distant jingle that causes Twitch to freeze in place, and you both see an elderly man behind a pushcart stroll into the park. "That...usually doesn't fuck me over that quickly." He gives a skewed little smile. "I'm buying?"
Ilse Belanger (Ralu) Ilse shakes their head in awe when they see the pushcart. “Honestly, I was pretty sure I would be the one paying. So...only if you want to.” They return the smile, a bit shy, then straighten up. “I bet this one’s going to be better than what they have downtown.”
Everyone Else (DaxieVane) "Probably." His smile is a little more honest now. "I think, uh, I'm getting hungry! So let's go!" And he rushes ahead to the cart.
Ilse Belanger (Ralu) Ilse smiles, pets the goat slightly before putting it in the pocket of their pants and rushing after Twitch.
**********
Ilse Belanger (Ralu) What place could be used for proficiency/agility skill points? I’m sorry I’m forgetting all the details
Everyone Else (DaxieVane) proficiency isssss Camellia's favored back alley, i believe
Ilse Belanger (Ralu) Ah, yeah! Thank you! Can I go there and also look for a trinket to possibly gift Puck?
Everyone Else (DaxieVane) hmm
okay i will say "yes and", absolutely djfbgjh but i will let u know that buttering up Puck is only gonna get you so far, because im gating Fool requirements behind plot beats djfbgjh
you don't find much of anything, but then you hear a calm voice over your shoulder. "Yo, you're uhhh, the fuckin, sporty lady and little goat buddy's friend, right?" And Theo crouches down next to you. "Whatcha looking for? Didja drop something?" He immediately begins searching as well.
Ilse Belanger (Ralu) Gghgggh!!!
Lena Tarr (Dave) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Blake Leto (Jane 🐈) The real treasure was Theo all along
Ilse Belanger (Ralu) “Oh” Ilse’s first instinct is to move a step back or to the side and give Theo space, but then they realize what he’s doing. “Thank you, yeah, I think I am...didn’t drop anything, was just looking. Of I could find something nice or interesting. Something one could give to a friend who likes trinkets and stuff?” They scratch their neck and look up for a moment. “Nothing to worry about, but thank you”
Everyone Else (DaxieVane) "Ohhh," Theo says. And he plops back, reclining on the ground. "Totally getcha. Like, last year I tried to get Bee a seashell, but Long View is like...not a good place for shells. Or water. Or surfing." He lets out a long, melancholy sigh. Then he perks up. "Oh! Like, instead of the shell, I made her some brownies, so maybe..." Theo reaches into his bag and then smacks a plastic-wrapped cookie into your hand. "Here you go, dude. Snack for your pal."
Ilse Belanger (Ralu) Ilse’s eyes wides, and once they realize the cookie is already in their hand, there’s no giving back, the look into Theo’s face, still a bit flabbergasted. “That’s not necessary, but...thank you. Cookies are always a great idea” They smile at him. “Thank you”
**********
Lena Tarr (Dave) ok ok ok. i am thinking.
that i wanna bother someone. so im wondering what masumis doing fdgdfgdf
Everyone Else (DaxieVane) heck yeah djfgbjh
Masumi is still on campus during break. Plus since she's your RA, you have her number.
Lena Tarr (Dave) Lena is gonna camp out in the common area until she sees her fgdfgdf
Everyone Else (DaxieVane) She walks out of her room with a towel around her head, stares at you, walks back into her room and five minutes later comes back out with dry hair and a glare that could cut through concrete. "What?" she says.
Lena Tarr (Dave) She stretches casually, like she wasn't waiting for Masumi, specifically, to show up. "Nothing much. What's up?"
Blake Leto (Jane 🐈) Important question: did Masumi change into her full fuckin suit during that time or is she wearing somethin more casual Bc if she took the time to get the whole suit on that’s so powerful
Everyone Else (DaxieVane) oh djfgbjhdgf she's wearing like...a black skirt and a white button up i think. still formal, but compared to her normal outfit it's very relaxed.
Everyone Else (DaxieVane) Masumi just sort of squints at you, tilting her head slightly. "I'm on break," she says, bluntly. "What do you think?"
Lena Tarr (Dave) Lena sighs. "Fair enough." She leans back, brows furrowing. "I'll be fast. You know Sakio pretty well, right?"
Everyone Else (DaxieVane) "As well as the President of the Student Council can and should know one of her teachers who is also the dean of Humanities," Masumi replies immediately. "I've worked with her enough to know her type. That's all you need to know."
Lena Tarr (Dave) She tilts her head to the side. "And what's that type like?"
Everyone Else (DaxieVane) Masumi sighs, adjusts her hair. "Saint Sakio," she says, her tone quiet and bitter. "The self appointed virtuous paragon, decrier of all hypocrisies but her own, leaping at her own sword just for the chance it might help someone else." She rolls her eyes. "She's an idiot, and she's stubborn, and she thinks she's right."
Lena Tarr (Dave) Lena nods, thinks for a bit. "Do you think that." She clicks her tongue. "Has her stubbornness ever done. More harm than good? In your opinion?"
Everyone Else (DaxieVane) "Unquestionably," she says. "She's a teacher, through and through. More a propensity for talking than listening." A clear sore spot, and Masumi seems to catch herself, her tone evening out. "But that's not to say that she's technically incorrect, all the time. She's talented and experienced and intelligent, and she knows that. Which makes the task of challenging her on those blind spots all the more daunting."
Lena Tarr (Dave) "Fuck if you aren't right." She drags a hand across her face. "Thanks." She leans her head back, staring at the ceiling. "I really. Hate teachers. And directors."
Everyone Else (DaxieVane) "Hm." Masumi brushes a strand of hair behind one ear in almost the same way as you've seen Sakio do, often enough. "I suppose we have that in common." And with that, she heads off.
**********
Everyone Else (DaxieVane) There's a box in your closet. And I think there's been a few days where the thought of opening it has crossed your mind, you've maybe wanted to, but so far every time you have decided to leave it closed.
Today is one of the days when you think about that box.
Sammy Cabra (Nyanko) Sammy opens up their closet on the left side. They've hesitated for long enough. "Okay...Okay..." They slowly drag the box out from the closet, the weight on top stays put. They take a deep breath in. and a deep breath out. "I can't keep hiding from you... I need to know..." They pick up the weight with ease, as if picking up a small rock, and place it back down on the floor. "You can do this..." They close their eyes and...take off the lid.
Everyone Else (DaxieVane) It smells like dust. You can't see anything with your eyes closed. Churro is probably butting his head against your arm and making little mrow noises.
Sammy Cabra (Nyanko) Sammy opens their eyes. Still scared of what awaits them inside. They've thought about this moment forever, what kind of awful message awaits them inside? Maybe it's a note that says "loser" or something...Sammy takes a look inside.
Everyone Else (DaxieVane) The three items on the very top of the small pile are a flower made out of popsicle sticks that you gave to her, a bubble blower that you used to play together with, and a piece of crumpled paper. Upon closer inspection, it's a very messy drawing of your Fractals outfit, with smudged text pointing to different sections of the costume. "Goat tail? Do goats have tails?" and "Very very green" and "Make sure there's room for their horns!" At the very top of the page, it says: "Poncho for Sammy." Underneath those is a photo album.
Sammy Cabra (Nyanko) Sammy carefully and slowly takes out every item one by one. They can't help but feel saddened by the flower on top. The first gift they ever gave her. Why would she leave that? Then the bubble blower and then the paper of their poncho. "I was wondering where you put these...I tried to find them the day I went looking for you but..." They pick up the photo album. They're silent for a long time before opening it up. Pictures of Sammy...Pictures of Churro...Pictures of... "Tango..." Sammy flips through all the pages.
Everyone Else (DaxieVane) There's so many photos there that you recognize. Of you, of her, of the both of you. The farther you go, there's less of you, less of her. More nature, and abstraction, and strangers. And more empty spaces, photos absent from where they should be. Until finally, on the very last page, there's just a single photo - one you don't recognize. A silhouette of a young woman with long hair, blowing a dandelion across a dark sky. There's text underneath: "Daisy" and a little heart drawing.
And underneath the photo album, at the bottom of the box, is a flyer from a big music concert that happened in your sophomore year of high school, with a smudged phone number you can't read and a lipstick mark in the bottom corner.
And beneath that is a very carefully, politely folded piece of paper. "For Sammy" it says.
Sammy Cabra (Nyanko) Sammy is already fighting back tears from the drastic change the album had taken without them. They're less confused and more sad that they barely opened it up now. "Who...?" Sammy looks at the picture of the girl before picking up the little piece of paper. "Ah man...you shouldn't have..." They are very much crying at this point. They unfold the paper, joking, "What wonderful masterpiece have you granted me as a last goodbye?"
Everyone Else (DaxieVane) sammy,
if you are reading this, then i am somewhere very far away now. i dont know how far, and i dont know where i'll end up. im sorry. i don't want to leave, but i know i might have to. you know i'm bad at keeping secrets, and i've been keeping one for a long time. even from you. i'm so sorry, but if i'm gone, then i can't ever come back.
i know it will hurt you, and it breaks my heart. you are my best and most wonderful friend, and i will miss you forever and always. i will miss you more than the sun misses the moon. more than the flower misses the bird. you made me want to love myself, because you loved me.
i know i must have hurt you by leaving. i don't ask you to forgive me, not for that. not for breaking my promise. but if you want me again, even as i can't return, i give you permission: come and find me.
your friend, always,
tangerine
Sammy Cabra (Nyanko) Every word feels like a punch to the heart. I'm sorry? I'll miss you?  Sammy wipes their tears with their sleeve. "What...What? What is this...?" And then the last line, "Come find you..." It takes a minute for that to process, but when  it does, Sammy bolts up straight. "COME FIND YOU!?" It feels like they've been given the key to the universe. That means they're definitely alive and definitely want to see them again...right? This isn't the loser message they were expecting at all, it's so much worse! "W-Where???" Then Sammy turns back to the photo album. "Daisy...girl Daisy....Daisy..." Sammy repeats this, making sure to engrave it into their mind. "I will! I'll do it! I'll find you!" Sammy picks up Churro, "We'll do it!!" And with that, they spend the rest of their night trying to piece everything together...although they're still a little lost.
**********
Sammy 🐐 Excuse me! Everyone! This is kind of an emergency and I'm sorry if this seems really random, but has anyone seen a girl named Daisy? And would anyone like to help me find a girl named Daisy... Or just a Daisy, it might be a flower, I'm not sure!!!!
Blake ✨ Are you alright? What kind of emergency are we talking about? I could certainly ask my contacts to look into this girl if you have a full name or any other details, but you’re saying it may also just… refer to the flower?
Sammy 🐐 Uhm! This is like...life or death to me!
Well maybe not that extreme, but... it's really really super important to me! She has long hair and uhm...she might be into music? I have a paper with some stuff on it I can show you the next time I see you. D:
And her name might be Daisy? that's all I can think of, I'm sorry...
Blake ✨ I… see. So to summarize, you’re searching for this girl, with only an idea of her first name, or what may be a nickname, and a vague understanding of who she is. Is there some connection to someone else? Do you have a photo?
I’d be more than happy to help you solve this little mystery of course, but first and foremost we’ll need intel.
Sammy 🐐 She...does have a connection but that.... doesn't exist right now. Uhm...I do have a photo! So does that mean you'll help me? :)
I'll bring everything to you first thing! thank you so much, Blakey! 🌟
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rachelbethhines · 4 years
Text
Tangled Salt Marathon - Beyond the Corona Walls Part 2
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Part two is here, so let’s get on with the rest of the stupid shall we...
You can find part 1 here - https://rachelbethhines.tumblr.com/post/624977559380213760/tangled-salt-marathon-beyond-the-corona-walls
Summary: Rapunzel and the group return to Vardaros to find Eugene, only to learn about his engagement to Stalyan, leaving Rapunzel heartbroken and regretting her decision on rejecting Eugene's marriage proposal. However, after being encouraged by Cassandra, Rapunzel returns to Vardaros and stops the wedding between Eugene and Stalyan. Meanwhile, Adria gives Raps another piece of the scroll and an ominous hint to her future. 
So Why is the Baron Still Operating If Both Raps and Eugene Know Who He Is?
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Keep in mind this guy still has a house in Corona that they know about, he’s still a crime boss who’s criminal actions still affect their kingdom, and they both have the ear of the man who is in charge of running things and who has had a vested interest in cracking down on crime for the past 19 years. So why hasn’t Frederic gone after this dude? You can’t say it’s because he’s hiding out here, when he has a base of operations and living quarters in the kingdom itself. And if it’s because he has money, then that’s just further proof that Frederic is corrupt. 
The Writers Undermine Themselves When They Try to Make Conflicts Lopsided
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So the writers are trying to have their cake and eat it too in this episode. They want to make Stalyan just unlikeable enough so that the audience won’t hold Eugene accountable for his past actions, but not so unlikable that she’s irremediable later. Hence the excuse that the blackmail is her dad’s idea and that she still believes that Eugene is really in love with her and is just playing hard to get. 
The problem is, by having Stalyan still aware of the situation and complacent in this plan instead of fighting against it, the audience isn’t inclined to see things her way and less inclined to give her a second chance when they try to pull her redemption later. 
Moreover, this also undermines Eugene’s character arc as well, because him learning to be more responsible has to include acknowledgement of his past wrongs. Instead all he does is make excuses or look vaguely guilty over shit that’s only implied not stated. There’s no outright admittance of wrong nor apology for the way he treated her. 
Staylan can’t be sympathetic later on if don't show things from her perspective in the now and Eugene can’t grow as a character if he doesn’t realize what he’s done wrong specifically. 
Context Is Key 
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Yeah, that’s a lot of screenshots, I know, but you need to hear/read the line in full. Because there’s not enough context within the episode to make this line work. 
What does ‘someone like you’ mean? What was his relationship with Stalyan like before the break up? When did the break up happen? Why did he leave her at the altar? Why is she still trying to be with him after such a thing? Why wouldn’t Stalyan believe him when he says he’s really in love with Raps? And why, oh why, are we going with this ‘marriage is a prison’ metaphor when the person saying it wants to get married herself? To the very person she’s saying ‘don't get married’ to, no less! 
Now we get hints to answer some of those questions, but none of those hints are in the actual episode itself. Hence the main failing of the episode. That’s because the writers still don’t want to admit fault in their mains. Because, at the end of the day, for all of their talk about how ‘it’s not a kids show’, they can’t or won’t tackle actual mature topics like ‘relationships are hard and failed ones can be the fault of both parties or neither party’. 
‘Contrived Misunderstanding’ Is Literally the Dumbest Plot Point Ever
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Unless you are the Bard of Avon risen from the unholy grave himself, don’t fucking do this. Even then I still criticize Shakespeare heavily for bullcrap like this. It’s lazy and more over it’s not fun. 
We already know what the ending outcome is going to be so there’s no tension to be had here. It’s just a cheap way to have conflict between the mains without having them actually address shit or grow as people. Instead of having believable conflicts where people have competing needs or desires, they just throw Stalyan in here to be a scapegoat; and then throw the Baron in here on top of that to be her scapegoat. 
So Let’s Talk About Staylan’s Thought Process Here
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Okay, if we’re to make any sense of Staylan’s actions here, we have to answer some of those above questions. 
What does ‘someone like you’ mean? What was his relationship with Stalyan like before the break up?
We honestly don’t know what their relationship was like. We never see them before the break up, only afterwards, and that’s not a good indicator of anything really. All we know are five things; 
Eugene wasn’t a very good person during his Flynn Rider days
He is hinted to be a former womanizer in both the movie and during certain points in season one (the threesome joke in TRoS comes most to mind)
He left Staylan at the altar instead of being the bigger person and breaking things off with her respectfully
He’s known Staylan since they were both teenagers (he’s had a crush on her since they were 15/16) and they’ve been in some sort of long term relationship for some undetermined amount of time
They use to pull jobs together, with Staylan sometimes goating him on, possibly taking charge most of the time.
That’s it. That’s all we got. You can’t really judge Stalyan based off that information alone. All we get from this is that she’s sometimes bossy and probably a little spoiled, but so is Rapunzel honestly, and neither of those things mean that they’re abusive on their own. If anything, knowing those things actually puts Eugene in more of a bad light, but he’s pulling the woobie card here; so you’re not meant to think about those things in the moment which is manipulative writing.  
When did the break up happen? Why did he leave her at the altar?
Now here’s the million dollar question, because honestly the show doesn’t give us a consistent time frame of events and contradicts itself all the time. Some have argued that the break up happened eight years ago when the Baron screwed Eugene and Lance over during that robbery flashback in TRoS. Yet in Flynnpostor the Baron says that he had hired Eugene to steal the crown in the movie indicating that they were still working together all the way up until he met Rapunzel. 
So which is it? Cause either answer drastically changes the context of his relationship with Staylan, their subsequent break up, and informs the motivation behind Stalyan’s words and actions. 
Why is she still trying to be with him after such a thing? Why wouldn’t Stalyan believe him when he says he’s really in love with Raps?
Here’s what I think went down, and what I think the writers are trying to poorly imply here. 
Eugene and Staylan had a tremulous on again/off again relationship for several years; where she’d be bratty and controlling and he’d cheat on her and/or leave, only, for whatever reason, to come crawling back and she’d ultimately ‘forgive’ him and they start at square one. The ‘leave her at the altar’ can’t be a one and done thing otherwise she wouldn’t be conditioned to take him back so readily, nor believe his relationship with Raps isn’t serious. 
In fact, if we take ‘stealing the crown for the Baron’ thing at face value then it implies he stood Stalyan up just to be with Rapunzel. Which makes sense as no self respecting woman would wait around for 8 flipping years. One year is already pushing things as is, but if Eugene has a history of con artistry and cheating then, yeah, she could convince herself that Eugene is pulling a scam and still loves her instead. 
To Staylan’s mind, she’s just trying to convince Eugene to give up his cushy life of royalty to live with her in a less comfortable but ultimately ‘truer’ way of life. She doesn’t see it as asking him to choose between her and Rapunzel cause she doesn’t see that what he has with Rapunzel as love. She thinks he’s faking it, like always. She thinks that ‘Eugene’ is his latest con and that Flynn Rider is his true identity. 
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And why, oh why, are we going with this ‘marriage is a prison’ metaphor when the person saying it wants to get married herself? To the very person she’s saying ‘don't get married’ to, no less!
Well the real reason is cause the writers have really messed up ideas about marriage, but the in universe reason is that Staylan sees ‘love’ as ‘unconditional acceptance’. Eugene, or ‘Flynn’, doesn’t have to pretend with her. She knows every awful thing about him, been hurt by him, and she still takes him back, and vise versa. Their on again/off again relationship has convinced her that putting up with mistreatment means that you must really love that person. She doesn’t understand that people can change and grow and that being in a healthy relationship requires both of those things. 
That’s the only interpretation of their relationship that actually makes sense of Stalyan’s actions to my mind. Feel free to interpret it another way if you’d like, because we really have no clue. Just don’t try to pass off you’re interpretation as fact. And if you still see Staylan as the only person in the wrong here; I have to ask you to ask yourself why? Is it the manipulative writing, is it cause she’s not conventionally ‘nice’ like Rapunzel, or is just cause you see her as a threat to New Dream? Because holding her actually accountable for her actions is one thing, calling her ‘a child abuser’ (fandom’s words not mine) just cause she’s a bitchy and bitter ex is another thing entirely. (also they’re the same freaking age what the hell tumblr) 
This Song Would Hold More Weight If They Gave Us an Actual Real Interpersonal Conflict 
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I’m just going to split ball a few ideas here, just to show what we potentially missed out on..
Stalyan is blissfuly unaware of the Baron’s plot, meaning Eugene now has to wrestle with admitting the truth of his past actions to her, along with keeping Lance safe, and trying to figure out a way to save his relationship with Rapunzel 
There’s is no Baron involvement, Stalyan is his ex, but he comes to realize that they have more in common than he and Raps does. Meaning that the narrative has to actually address his and Rapunzel’s relationship issues; like their lack of communication and their seemingly conflicting life goals 
Once again, no Baron involvement and Stalyan is his ex, but she’s just a victim Eugene screwed over when he was still Flynn Rider. She warns Rapunzel of what he use to be like and she has to confront the fact that she rushed into a relationship with someone she barely knows while he has to confront the fact that simply giving up his ways isn’t always enough and other people are still hurt by his actions 
Dump the ‘ex’ plot altogether and have Rapunzel meet someone new instead. Have her question if a committed relationship is what she wants, and if Eugene really is the person for her. Address the fact that she has no experiences to in which to judge their relationship by. 
What makes these options stronger is that there’s no clean cut bad guy (except for the Baron). There’s no right or wrong answer to the problem; no easy solution. The less sure an outcome the more tension you can add to the conflict, and these conflicts can go any number of ways; from a temporary break up to a reaffirmation of love.  
That’s mature. That’s complex. That’s not reaching for the easy low hanging fruit. The creators seem to think thing dark, edgy, and shocking is ’deep’ but it’s actually quite shallow, especially when you constantly present one sided conflicts like today’s episode. 
Your Name Literally Means ‘Lettuce’, Rapunzel
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Unlike some fans, I don’t mind Rapunzel being jealous and hypocritical. As I said before, I like my heroines to have actual flaws. The problem is that the show goes out of its way to justify her bitchiness instead of calling it for what it is. 
I Don’t Usually Bring Shipping Into These Reviews But,
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Eugene and Lance have the healthiest relationship in the show. Like there is zero competition, here. Outside of a few ‘not-so-serious’ crack pairings, like Pete/Stan/Willow or Caine/Trevor, I don't really have any other ‘canon’ ships. I’m like 90% of the time shipping crossover pairings and 90% of those are Varian ships.   
But this is still a flaw because it’s not intentional. The writers genuinely think that New Dream is a healthy romantic pairing and that Cass and Raps are a genuinely good friendship/sibling relationship, but they aren’t. And before you say anything, Casspunzel, isn’t the intent of the creators; regardless if you or some of the non-writing staff ship them. Like, it’s okay to ship them, but they aren’t intentionally written to be romantic any more than Lance and Eugene. 
My point in bringing up all this up is this: A bunch of male writers only knew how to portray a male friendship well; not a female friendship, not a sister relationship, not a mother and child relationship, not a father and child relationship, not a gay romance, not even a het romance. That tells me that the creators on this show have an extremely limited world view. Which you need to expand upon if you have any inspirations as a creative writer.   
You’ll Have an Ice Sculpture of Shorty at Your Wedding, Raps. 
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You don’t get to judge, woman. 
I Usually Love the Art Direction on the Show, but, Not Gonna Lie, I’m Disappointed We Didn’t Get an Actual Wedding Dress for Stalyan
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This is animated in what? Toonboom? Flash? Would it really have been that time consuming just to make a palette swap of her regular dress here? I mean you made a bunch of new character designs and gave Raps a new outfit just for this episode so clicking a few new swatches on an already existing model doesn’t sound that hard. 
But yes, I’m nitpicking here. That’s cause I hate where all this is going, and I’m trying to put off the inevitable. 
Deactivating the Rocks Was a Mistake 
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Like I said, making the rocks no longer a threat means that our heroine no longer has a reason for her quest. You’ve just ended your main conflict and now we’re going to have to sit through a whole season of watching the creators spin their wheels trying to find a new one. While also invalidating both the previous and future conflicts cause all she had to do was touch a rock and that’s it. That’s what this whole story amounts to. 
Also you’re telling me that the main hero was just now willing to risk the life of a bunch of innocent bystanders just cause she be jelly? 
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Lack of Remorse Undermines Stalyan’s Future Appearances 
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If you want to pawn off the blackmail stuff onto her dad then you need to have her stand up to her dad on screen. Because we get no indication that she learns anything from these events in this episode, we have no reason to root for her redemption later. I mean she’s literally declaring revenge here. 
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Say it with me; It’s a lack of setup and resolve. 
Nothing Is Resolved
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Rapunzel tries to hold an honest conversation for once and Eugene just shuts her down. Yet, this is presented as a form of positive growth for him? The whole point of their relationship problems is their lack of communication and Rapunzel not being assertive about what she wants. But sure, let's have them still not communicate and have Eugene actively talk over her in order to drag out this plot point that doesn’t need to be dragged out. 
Stop Treating Marriage as a Trap
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Okay, first off, she was about to ask you to marry her, you dolt, so stop assuming. Second off, this a really bad lesson and the fact that Rapunzel now feels pressured to lie through her teeth about what she really wants contradicts this whole ‘Rapunzel needs to choose for herself thing’ the story’s got going on.  
I want to make it clear that the writers threw in this ‘forced marriage’ plot not teach Eugene responsibility, you know the thing he actually needs to learn, but to teach him that ‘marriage is bad’. Even though respectfully asking the person you're already in a committed relationship with to marry you is not in any way, shape, or form the same as a bitchy ex blackmailing you into doing something you don’t wanna do. 
Marriage is Not a Trap; Stop Treating It As Such. 
Oh Look, Now It’s Eugene’s Turn To Have His Feeling Ignored
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Yes, how dare Eugene have an opinion that different from Raps. 
Remind me again which relationship was the toxic one? 
‘Destiny’ Is Not a Reason
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Like ‘destiny’ in a narrative sense means that there’s either an unavoidable consequence for not fulfilling it, a fate that can’t be avoid no matter how hard you try, or a prophecy to help show the characters what needs to be done. It’s a tool to create tension and foreshadowing. It’s not a goal in of itself. But the series never expands upon this ‘destiny’ stuff. It’s treated like an end all and be all for the characters actions, but that’s not how its supposed to work. 
So, What Was the Point?
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You’ll hear me ask this question a lot during season two. But for this episode specifically there’s barely anything worthwhile to the ongoing narrative here. 
None of the mains learn anything, none of the side characters learn anything, the Baron and Stalyan wind up not adding anything to the overall narrative, and Vardaros and its inhabitants never come back into play after this season. So what was the point? 
The only reason why I don’t recommend skipping the episode altogether is because of Adria’s introduction, the DK flashback, and the scroll pecice. But all of that is so divorced from the episode’s A plot that it might as well not have been here.You could have taken nearly all of Adria’s scenes and fitted them into another episode. Meaning, you could have easily cut all of Vardaros, the Baron, and Stalyan out of the show and it wouldn’t have made a difference to the story arc. 
Conclusion
I’ll give the opening this much. It lets you know what your in for for the rest of season; lots of filler, a disconnected arc, and no Varian (or other main threat) to be seen. Ugh! 
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thiswasinevitableid · 4 years
Text
Apple, Delight (Sternclay)
Prompt for the fourth was: Apple Orchard
Barclay has cinnamon sugar in his pores, he’s certain of it. The first of October means the crowds arrive in earnest to Amnesty Farm which, from late September to mid-November, becomes a center for fall fun. They don’t serve tons of food, but Barclay is in charge of what they do offer, his pride and joy being their apple cider doughnuts, which he’s made by dozen since eight that morning.
He’s ready to settle in for the night when he discovers he has less firewood than he thought. Ah well, Sass needs to go out anyway, a trip to the wood pile won’t kill him. 
Except, as he’s gathering an armful of chopped logs, Sass goes tearing off towards the orchards, dark fur disappearing into the shadows under the trees.
Barclay sighs, sets the wood down and starts off after him. It’s not like he can get too lost, since the farm is fenced in on all sides, but it’s supposed to rain tonight and he’d hate for him to be out in it. Plus, if he gets into the garden display again, Dani will be pissed. 
He passes the petting zoo, then the goat and sheep pens, smiling when soft clucks come from the chicken coop. They’re on a country road, so at night there’s no traffic to drown out the sounds of the farm and the nearby woods. Maybe some people find it eerie, but hes’ grateful for the relative quiet after a day of being in the kitchen. 
Skirting the end of the U-Pick Pumpkin Patch brings him to the apple orchards. There are also pear and cherry trees, but the apples make up the bulk of what they grow, and visitors are welcome to pick from designated sections. 
Now if only he could spot a wagging tail or hear a jingling collar in the midst of them. 
“Sass!” He whistles, but no shape comes bounding towards him. Usually when the dog fails to come when called, it’s because he’s chasing some poor squirrel or rabbit into the underbrush.
Which is why, when he hears a  distinctly human cry of alarm, Barclay jumps out of his skin before taking off towards the subsequent barks. 
He finds Sass directing his deep woofs at a man about Barclay’s age, with dark hair that was slicked back at some point but is now mussed, and a sweater and jeans that are far too clean for him to be a farmhand. When he gets closer, he realizes he recognizes the guy; he’d been in with his family earlier that day, and Barclay had just enough time to think he was hotter than the fryer before a new wave of visitors came to the counter. Given that he was there with a woman and  young girl, he’s gonna assume the guy is off-limits for flirting. 
“Sass, c’mon boy, heel.” 
The dog turns, lopes over to Barclay as he steps to the man and offers a hand. 
“Sorry, he’s a surprisingly good guard dog for something that gets distracted by butterflies.”
The man takes his hand, stands and brushes leaves from his sweater, “and he's terrifying to have bolting towards you out of the darkness.”
Barclay raises an eyebrow, “that's kind of the point of a guard dog. Y’know, keeping intruders out?”
“I’m not an intruder, I am a visitor who misplaced something.”
“We’ve been closed for two hours.”
“I’m aware. But the front gate was locked and I couldn't get anyone’s attention.”
“Because the staff who live here live out towards the back. That's why we put that phone number on the gate. '' He turns them back towards the cottage, Sass trotting happily in front of them. 
“Which would have worked perfectly. If the thing I was missing wasn't my phone.” The man holds up a smartphone.
“I mean, guess it’s good you found it, but you coulda used someone else's and let us know to look for i in the lost and found. Folds are good about bringing dropped stuff back to the main farm.”
“I considered that option but I might not have a job come morning if I did it that way.”
“Jesus, where do you work?”
“The FBI.”
“Ah.”
“Yes, pretty much.”
“That how come you were able to scale the fence so easily?”
The man nods.
“What kind of work do you do in the FBI?” He may as well make the most of having a cute guy walking with him. A little practice flirting can’t hurt. God knows he needs it. 
“I work for the, um, the UP.”
“....Holy shit, I didn’t know that was real, I thought they made it up for the X-Files.”
“No, though it involves far more dead ends than that show portrays. Oddly, Twin Peaks is more accurate to what I do.”
“Man, that’s fucking cool agh, shit” rain patters on the leaves, “please tell me you moved your car away from the gate?”
“Only a little.”
“Shit. Okay, you probably figured it out from wandering around, but we are literally on the other end of the property right now, and the golf cart is in the shop.”
“It’s, um, it’s alright, if you get me to the main route through the farm, I can walk back on my own and climb the fence. Again.” His tone suggests he’s already working through the logistics in his head. 
“Uh, if you aren't in too big a hurry, at least let me swing by my place and get you a raincoat?”
“Oh. Um, that’d be great. Thank you.”
They veer right and soon the cottage comes into view. He grabs some dry firewood while Sass waits on the step and the man rubs his hands together. 
Once they’re inside, the man turns to him and Barclay has to work to keep his focus on his words rather than the blue eyes and handsome face.
“May I use your restroom? I got a bit muddy.” He holds up his hands. 
“Just down the hall.” 
The man smiles, and Barclay starts building a fire as he walks away. There’s a ding, and he goes to check in case Mama needs something. But it's not his phone, it’s the other man's, glowing where he set it on the table. 
Hayes: I expect better than technical mishaps from you, agent,
Shit, he wasn’t kidding about work. And his other notification is showing thirty unread emails.
The water shuts off in the bathroom and he hurries back to the fire, is just getting it caught when there’s a groan behind him. Turning, he sees his guest running a hand through his black hair, staring defeatedly down at his phone. 
“I’m moving to the bottom of the sea.”
Barclay chuckles and the man looks a little embarrassed at being heard.
“If you want something closer to home, we're hiring seasonal help.”
“I’m sure it’d do wonders for my physique, if you’re anything to go by, but I doubt I’m cut out for it. I’m white-collar through and through, unfortunately. Sorry” he looks at the hardwood floor, “probably shouldn’t whine about my job, since you’re helping me stay dry instead after I committed at least two misdemeanors on your property.”
“It’s Mama’s, I just work here. And it’s okay. Though, uh, kinda surprised you wanna talk to some random dude on a farm about it instead of, like, your wife.”
“Wife?”
“The woman who was with you today? You came into the restaurant at one point.”
“Oh! No, that’s my sister, I came with her and my niece. Her opinion on my work troubles is to get a boyfriend so I’ll have someone to complain to.”
Barclay closes the fire grate slightly harder than he means to at that last sentence.
“Did, uh, did you all have a good time?”
“Very. Ellie, my niece, adored all the animals, and Lily comes here every year to pick out pumpkins for decorating the house. I, um, my favorite part was the food. Those doughnuts were amazing, as were the pumpkin scones.”
Barclay blushes; a cute guy complimenting his cooking tends to make him all fluttery.
“You thought those were good, then I got something you need to try. Uh, I mean, if you want to stay a little, if not I can get the coat and we can go.”
The man looks at his phone, then back to Barclay, “what the hell, things are under control until the morning. I’d love to stay. Um, may I dry my sweater by the fire? It got pretty wet just in the few minutes we were out.”
“Sure thing uh, Mr-”
“Joseph is fine.”
Barclay smiles, heading for the kitchen, but not before watching Joseph's shirt catch on his sweater and ride up, revealing honest-to-god cut muscle. Instead of asking if he can lick apple butter off his abs, he grabs the jar of said butter, the loaf of bread, and starts a kettle for tea. 
Soon he’s setting a plate and a cup of cranberry-apple tea un front of Joseph, who inhales appreciatively.
“Let me guess; you made all of this?”
“Yep, the apple butter is an old family recipe.”
They eat in silence for a few moments until Sass, roused from his spot by the fire by the smell of food, pads over to sit in front of Joseph and stare. When that fails to produce treats, he turns his puppy-dog eyes on Barclay. The cook makes him sit and shake before tossing him a small piece of bread.
“What kind of dog is he?”
“Bernese Mountain Dog and Rottweiler, we think.”
“Is his name short for something?”
Barclay smiles, “Sasquatch. He had huge feet as a puppy.”
“We have similar dog-naming habits.” Joseph pulls out his phone, “this is Nessie.” When he turns it, Barclay almost snorts tea out his nose, unprepared for the sight of a greyhound in a sweater decorated with tiny Loch Ness Monsters. 
“Believe it or not, she adores that sweater. Last time I took it off to be washed, she whined for an hour.”
“Awww” It’s an adorable image, but not quite as adorable as the thought of Joseph on laundry day, in pajama pants and one of Barclay’s shirts, hair still relaxed from a shower. 
“She’s a good girl.” He tucks his phone away, “I feel terrible whenever I have to travel for work; my sister can’t take her so I have to board her somewhere, and it’s just infrequent enough that she forgets the staff and is terrified of them anew each time.”
“We could always get her used to me and board her here, assuming she and Sass get along.” The offer is sixty percent out of the goodness of his heart and forty percent wanting to see Joseph smile. 
“You’d really do that?”
“The farm is secure, she’d have a playmate, and there’d be lots of people here looking after her. She’d sleep in the cottage, of course.”
Joseph gives him an inquisitive look, then glances down at Sass, who’s wagging his tail so hard he’s sweeping the floor.
“Sure, what the hell. Assuming they get along, the next time I have to go, she can stay here.”
They chat for awhile longer about books, cooking, and various farm mishaps, before Barclay reluctantly fetches the spare raincoat so they can get Joseph back to his car. 
“Doesn’t quite bring out your eyes the way that sweater does.” He murmurs, then tries to correct for the come-on with, “because it’s such a, uh, a nice sweater?”
Joseph stays close to him as he replies “I’d offer to trade, but I’m not sure any of my clothes could survive that broad chest.” He ghosts his fingers across Barclays shirt, “Though it could be fun to see them try.”
The walk to the gate isn’t nearly long enough, and he blushes when Joseph once again thanks him profusely for his help and his company. The walk back, however, feels like an eternity, one that gives him time to doubt the other man had any interest in him at all. 
But all that evaporates when he gets home. Because sitting on the table is a slip of paper with a phone number and a short message. 
For arranging dog playdates. And dinner next Friday if you’re interested.
-Joseph
And sitting just below the message is a small, precisely drawn heart.
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