#[[ If you ever need relationship advice or a wingman? I got your back.

[herrmannhalsteadproduction]

Wingman? Wingwoman? Wingperson. (Chapter Four)

Summary: This is Part Seventeen of my series A Herrmann/Halstead Production. It is an AU where Christopher Herrmann's mom had an affair with Pat Halstead resulting in a baby. The series follows this OC character (Rebecca "Bex" Herrmann) as she grows up and gets to know her brothers and the various Chicago teams. It is very much an AU, just to underscore that. It doesn't follow the same timeline and characters will follow different paths.

Click here for the Series Rundown where you can find the links to read all of the previous installments (which I highly recommend you do so that this one makes sense.)

Rating: Teen and Up

Relationships: Christopher Herrmann & Original Female Character, Jay Halstead & Original Female Character, Will Halstead & Original Female Character, Jay Halstead & Will Halstead, pre-Greg 'Mouse' Gerwitz/Original Female Character, Will Halstead/Connor Rhodes, Assorted OC Couples

Warnings: Referenced Domestic Violence and Threatening Behaviour (these are warning tags for a brief scenes with Ty), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Rejection, Self-Sabotage, Swearing, and I'm adding Emotional Whump because writing this one hurt me, but also on the flip side - Connor and Will still being too freaking cute to handle.

A/N: To underscore my previous note, this is an alternate universe so things have unfolded differently. This will not follow the canon arc exactly by any means. But I hope you'll still enjoy it!

Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Bex

Will called them back in the middle of the afternoon and it was pretty much the best phone call Bex had ever received. Top five for sure.

Her brother was giddy and the two of them were just as bad, drawing stares as they did a happy dance in the middle of the sidewalk. He couldn’t talk long since he had to go back to work, but promised to tell them the whole story later that night.

After his date.

“You’re next, Bex! You got this!” Will’s whispered cheers echoed out of the speaker phone. “I’ve got to get back to work, but I believe in you! Love you, bye!”

He disconnected before she could respond, leaving her standing there holding the phone and giggling as soon as she made eye contact with Emery.

“I would love to be a fly on the wall there for the rest of the day,” Bex said, still chuckling. “He is so spun.”

“That’s going to be you soon enough!” Emery knocked shoulders with her. “Got a game plan yet?”

“Still a work in progress,” Bex mumbled and Emery shook her head.

“Take your own advice, Bexie Babe,” she said. “And breathe.” She linked arms with Bex as they headed back toward the car. “What else was it you said to Will? You’ve already got something great and this is just taking a step toward something even better.”

It had certainly worked out for Will.

“Speak from the heart,” Emery continued. “You’re good at that.”

Breathe and speak from the heart. That seemed straightforward enough. “Okay, yeah,” Bex said, taking a shaky breath. “I’ve got this.”

“Say it again with confidence,” Emery demanded.

“I’ve got this,” Bex yelled.

“Yeah, you do!”

They high-fived and climbed into the Tin Can 2.0 to finish off the rest of their errands. High on Will’s success, they managed to zip through the remainder of the list and soon enough, Bex was dropping Emery off at Kira and Malia’s.

She waited until Emery was safely inside before getting ready to pull out of the parking and just as she was about to leave, her phone went off with a series of dings.

Picking it up, she swiped the screen to see a bunch of messages from Emery.

Pep talk texts before you go! Breathe! Be brave! Remember – horrible, horrible honesty.

And the last one was a bunch of emojis: lips, heart hands, and—

“Seriously?” Bex laughed as she dumped her phone back in the cup holder, ignoring the string of eggplant finishing off the message. Mission accomplished in any case.

A game plan was starting to form…

She felt lighter.

She felt ready.

Well, she needed to grab one more thing and then, she’d be ready.

***

Adam

As far as work days in Intelligence went, this one was actually kinda boring? With a break between cases, Voight had declared it paperwork day which sucked, but at least Adam was all caught up now.

Unlike Halstead, Atwater, and Upton who were still upstairs typing away. Dawson and Olinsky had ducked out awhile ago—no idea how they’d managed to be so fast.

Al typed with two fingers.

Kim was finished too so they’d made plans to meet up for pizza and a beer. He jogged down the front steps of the precinct, whistling to himself and feeling pretty pleased with—

“Adam.”

“GAH!” He flailed away, nearly falling off the last step when Bex popped up out of nowhere.

Where the hell had she come from?

“You’re awfully jumpy,” she said mildly, leaning up against the railing with a tray holding two iced drinks in her hands.

“What are you doing here?” He looked around, trying to keep one eye on her and the other scouting for traps. “If you’re looking for Jay, you’ll be waiting awhile.”

“I’m here to attend to…other business.” She maintained eye contact with him while picking up one of the drinks to take a slow sip.

Other business. Like…revenge business.

“Right. Cool,” Adam said, keeping a careful distance away from Bex as he navigated around her on the sidewalk. “I’ve gotta go, but I’ll see you around.” He kept her in his sights, walking backwards toward the parking lot.

“Not if I see you first,” she called out.

Yeah.

He was inspecting every inch of his car before he got in it today.

***

Bex

That was fun.

She watched Adam scuttle off with a smirk.

“Bold move terrorizing folks outside of a police station,” a familiar voice said.

She spun around to see Mouse standing on the steps behind her, mouth quirked in a crooked little grin.

“They all know it’s justified,” she said, waving a hand at the precinct in general.

Mouse chuckled for a moment until his gaze met hers. All the good humour slowly faded away and tendrils of doubt started to creep into Bex’s mind.

He cleared his throat and adjusted his bag on his shoulder. “So, uh, you looking—you looking for Jay?” He jerked a nod back at the door. “I think he’s gonna be an hour or so still.”

“Actually, I came here to see you,” she said and his gaze snapped back to her.

“Me?” He looked like a deer in headlights and Bex wished she could hear what he was thinking because this one-eighty in his behaviour lately was giving her whiplash.

***

Mouse

Mouse couldn’t breathe.

He’d been trying so hard to keep his distance—to take some time so he could be around Bex and not want…fucking everything.

But now here she was. Standing there looking beautiful with a smile of pure sunshine and she was here for him.

And he couldn’t.

Breathe.

How was he supposed to do this?

“I got you one of those iced caramel monstrosities you like,” she said with a teasing grin, holding out a cup with a familiar logo. His favourite coffee shop from three streets over.

He unclenched a hand from the strap of his bag and reached out to accept it with a jerk. “Thank you,” he managed to say.

“Soooo…” Bex tossed the tray in the trash and rocked back on her heels, taking a small sip of her drink. “You busy right now?”

Say yes and walk away.

Say yes.

Walk.

Away.

“Well, I’ve got this monstrosity to work my way through now,” he said instead, clearly not in control of his own mouth anymore.

“What do you think about taking a walk with me while you do that?” Bex asked, fingers clenching on her cup as she bit at her lip.

If he was a better man… a stronger man…he would say no. Mouse could see where this was headed from a mile away. It had been building for weeks. Months really.

There was never any real possibility of hiding from it. Distance was never going to stop it.

Inevitability made him a weak man. He needed to live in this fantasy for a few moments longer and pretend that this was his life. That he and Bex were taking this step toward something more.

Something great.

Instead of a mistake.

He wanted a few more minutes to pretend he could have this because when it ended how he knew it was going to end…the fantasy would be all he had left.

Mouse wanted to hold onto as many scraps as he could.

“Yeah,” he murmured, hating himself for giving in to this desperate need. “I could go for a walk.”

***

Bex

Bex and Mouse walked down the sidewalk together, bumping arms occasionally as they drifted into each other’s space. He filled her in on the boring day of paperwork they’d had and she told him about Emery’s progress.

Easy chit-chat that barely masked the humming tension between them.

She was doing this. Bex could hardly believe it, but she was doing this. The first part of the plan—get Mouse’s attention with a tasty beverage—has been successfully navigated and now she just had to make it through step two.

Set the stage.

There was a little garden park a block south of the precinct. Erin had actually introduced her to it one time when they met up for coffee. It was fairly quiet, nicely shaded, and had the added benefit of being relatively neutral ground that she and Mouse could both escape from if things went seriously south.

Plus a nice little bench they could make out on if things went seriously well.

…way to get ahead of yourself, Bex.

She deftly steered them into the park and made a beeline for the bench, patting the spot beside her for Mouse to take a seat.

He veered left instead, taking a spin around to look at the flowers.

Okay.

That was fine. She could pour her heart out while standing just as easily.

Well, not easily either way, but whatever.

Bex left her drink on the bench and wandered over to Mouse’s side. He was staring hard at a bed of daylilies, jaw clenched.  

He looked stressed.

…maybe this wasn’t the right moment.

But what if there was never a right moment? There was always something going on and finding a perfect time was probably never going to happen.

And if he was freaking out about them getting closer, then there was never going to be a moment unless she took the initiative.

So.

Time to leap.

“Mouse,” she said quietly, but still managing to startle him. “Sorry. Um, I came looking for you today because there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”

His forehead furrowed into a deep frown. “Bex—”

“Just let me get this out, okay?” She said in a rush, holding up a hand to ward off whatever he was going to say. She’d come too far to stop now.

“We’ve known each other for…a long time now,” Bex said with a little laugh and he smiled back at her faintly. “You’re one of my best friends, but I feel like lately, we’ve been getting even closer and it feels like we’re moving toward something—something more than friends.”

Oh, god, could she be any more awkward?

Focus, Bex.

“What I’m trying to say is that I would like that. And I’ve been getting the feeling that you would too,” she said, voice going up in a questioning note. “So, would you like to go on a date? With me?”

Bex held her breathe as all her hope and fear and excitement swirled in one terrified vortex.

Mouse’s eyes went wide. “Bex, no—”

Her brain stuttered to a halt and the vortex stopped.

Everything was silent.

Then that crack, the one deep inside that had been patched up so crudely, split and opened its jagged maw.

She—

She’d done it again.

What the hell was wrong with her?

To think that Mouse could lo—that he might—

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I think I misjudged what was happening here and—oh, gosh. I’m so sorry, Mouse, please forget I said anything, okay?”

“No, Bex, no—” He grabbed at her arm to stop her very necessary retreat and she couldn’t look him in the eye because she was two seconds away from losing it.

“Not no no,” he said and what did that mean? Did he not know any other words right now?

“I’m trying.”

Oh. She’d said that out loud.

“Bex, please look at me,” Mouse said and it was the desperate note in his voice that had her looking up. “Not no, I don’t want to, but no, I can’t. We can’t.”

“What do you mean, we can’t?” Bex halted her escape attempts and now Mouse wouldn’t meet her gaze. “I need a little bit more here, Mouse, because I’m so confused.”

“You didn’t misjudge anything,” he said softly. “There was something there.”

…was.

“I thought about being with you. Wanted that so much.”

She reached out to lay a gentle hand on top of his. “Me too,” she said. “Don’t you think it’s worth trying?”

Mouse shook his head in a rough jerk. “It would be a mistake,” he said flatly, stepping back.

“Or it could be amazing,” Bex said. “And honestly, I’d put better odds on that outcome.”

“No, it would never work—”

“I think you could give us both a little more credit.” Frustration was starting to edge out the shock now.

“It wouldn’t be you,” Mouse said, looking out at the garden with a thousand-yard stare. “I would mess it up, Bex. There are things you don’t know about me—”

“But I want to know—”

“I could never be who you need me to be.” He tapped a fist against the centre of his chest. “I can’t give—there’s no way it wouldn’t end in disaster, Bex and then—I’d lose you.”

She didn’t know what to say. How to break through this horrible imaginary scenario he’d spun for himself. “Mouse, no—”

“I’d lose you,” he said, firm now in his conviction. “And I’d lose Jay and I can’t do that, Bex. You and Jay are the most important people—you’re my family.”

Mouse moved back into her space suddenly, gripping her hands in his. “I can’t risk it. Do you—please understand, Bex,” he said, voice breaking. “Losing you and Jay would be it for me. I couldn’t survive that. I can’t—it would—”

“Okay.” Bex fought to keep her voice level as the reality of things finally settled in. “It’s okay, Mouse. I understand.”

There would be no convincing Mouse that his fears were unfounded.

She couldn’t say with one hundred percent certainty that they weren’t because no one could predict the future—although Mouse seemed to think he could—and maybe they would end in disaster.

She’d rather try and see how it went then never try at all, but it took two of them to make that decision. Bex liked to think that their friendship could survive a break-up, but maybe that was her being naïve.

Maybe Mouse was saving them from a broken future, but that thought didn’t do anything to fix the widening crack of pain and grief spreading through her.

They were trading possible, imaginary future heartache for very real heartache right now.

How was this better?

Bex dug deep and forced a small smile on her face. Mouse looked like he was careening toward a panic attack and she knew how hard it must have been for him to get all of that out.

The last thing she ever wanted was for him to lose his family.

For them to lose each other.

For them both to fall apart.

At least she had more people to help her pick herself back up.

Mouse had Jay.

And he had her.

She could suck it up and hold them both together for now.

“You are never going to lose us, Mouse,” she said, squeezing his hands back. “You’re my family too and I don’t know if you’ve noticed this about us Herrmanns, but once we latch on to you, you’re stuck with us for life.”

They both chuckled a little wetly at that.

“We will always be friends,” she said. “We will always be family. Nothing could ever happen to make us lose each other.” She shifted their hands into a pinky swear. “I promise.”

He stared down at their joined fingers as she shook them. “I’m so sorry, Bex,” he began.

“Shut up.” She released his hands and pulled Mouse into a hug. He held stiff for a moment before putting his arms around her and holding tight. “Believe that we’re going to be okay,” she said. “That’s all I want from you.”

“Okay,” he whispered into her hair.

She’d try to believe it too.

They had to be.

***

Mouse

Bex left shortly after that, saying she had to pick up Emery.

Mouse stayed in the little park, sitting on the bench and peeling at the edges of the label on his cup thinking that if he waited long enough…the ache in his chest would go away.

That the knowledge he’d done the right thing would kick in and he wouldn’t feel like he’d gone ahead and destroyed everything that mattered the most to him anyway.

But deep down, he knew.

He knew—

This wasn’t how doing the right thing was supposed to feel.

***

Bex

Bex sat in her car outside of Kira and Malia’s building.

She’d somehow found her way back to the Tin Can and driven all the way there without noticing and that was definitely not good. She was lucky she didn’t get into an accident.

The sun was beating down on the windshield making it rapidly more uncomfortable in her sweat-sticky seat, but she couldn’t move yet.

Not when moving meant facing people and facing people meant telling them—

She couldn’t move yet.

Her phone buzzed and she fished it out of the cupholder to check the message.

Will.

Checking in to see how it went.

Oh, god, she couldn’t tell him. He’d totally cancel his date with Connor and he was so excited for it. She didn’t want to be the one to ruin that.

She’d had her fill of ruining things today.

BEX: I chickened out.

A laugh slipped out at the keyboard smash he texted back. Another rapid fire set of texts followed it.

WILL: We’ll work on your game plan. WILL: It’ll be GREAT!!! You’ll see!

BEX: Sounds like a plan. Have fun on your date. Emery and I will be at Kira and Malia’s so you’ve go the apartment to yourself. 😉

WILL: a;lsdfa;ds

BEX: How red is your face right now?

WILL: STOP WILL: IT’S OUR FIRST DATE

BEX: I’m just saying…

WILL: 😩😩😩 WILL: We’re taking it slow, okay? WILL: I don’t want to mess this up.

A lot of that going around.

BEX: Sorry, I’ll stop teasing. It’s going to be great. You guys are perfect for each other. BEX: Have fun, okay? I can’t wait to hear all about it.

WILL: See you tomorrow

Yeah. She definitely was going to hold off telling him the truth for a few days. He deserved to have this time right now.

They could deal with her disaster later.

Bex took a deep, bracing breath and headed up to Kira and Malia’s apartment.

You’re okay.

You can talk about this.

You’re fine.

She knocked on the door and Kira answered immediately, Malia and Emery peering over her shoulder from behind.

Kira took one look at her face and reached out to pull her inside. “Oh, sweetie.”

Bex bursts into tears

***

Actual and Honorary Bastards Group Chat

MALIA: 911 MALIA: everyone come here now

ISAAC: WHAT’S WRONG?

SAM: do you need actual 911? We’ve talked about this, Malia

FAITH: Use your words

MALIA: Mouse said no.

DEVON: ON OUR WAY

BEN: We’re getting in the car

MALIA: wait

SAM: ????

MALIA: bring snacks MALIA: and alcohol MALIA: a lot.

***

Isaac

Their crew was assembled at Kira and Malia’s within twenty minutes.

He wasn’t quite sure what kind of scene they’d be walking into—everyone remembered AJ—but Bex seemed remarkably composed.

That was actually more disconcerting if he was honest.

She was teary as she gave them the run-down of her conversation with Mouse, but every time her voice started to break or she got choked up, she stopped and tamped it all down before continuing.

A quick glance around at his friends told him they were growing just as concerned.

“I’m so sorry, Bex,” Emery said, reaching over from her spot beside her on the couch to rub her back. “You must be crushed.”

“It’s not like we were even dating,” Bex said, looking down as she knitted her fingers together in her lap.

“That doesn’t make what you feel any less real,” Faith said softly. “It didn’t have to be official for there to be a real relationship there.”

Bex nodded, swallowing hard. “I just—I feel like I should have realized that’s why he wasn’t making a move, you know? And now I’ve pushed it and freaked him out and what if it’s all ruined anyway? I shouldn’t have said anything—”

“Bex, stop.” Isaac made his way over to the couch and wiggled his way in between her and Kira. “Anyone who saw the two of you together could tell there’s something special there and you’re not a mind reader, okay? Don’t beat yourself up for putting yourself out there.”

“I’m worried he’s going to pull away even more now—”

“You don’t let people get lost, Bex,” Emery said with a gentle smile. “Not for long and never forever. Mouse is in the Herrmann orbit for good and he’ll figure that out soon enough.”

“Okay. Yeah, I guess we just…see how it goes.” Bex sniffed and rubbed at her face before glancing around the room. “Please tell me there’s junk food in those bags you hauled in.”

“So much!” Devon hopped up and started rifling through them. He tossed Bex a bag of salt and vinegar chips first. “We’ve got you covered, girl.”

Isaac used the food distraction as a chance to slip away. His phone had been buzzing non-stop with people wanting to hear how it went.

Wanting to hear the good news that didn’t exist.

As far they knew, it was a sure thing so what was the harm in a few—many—playful check-ins.

They had Bex safely squared away, but he had no idea where Mouse was and he didn’t want to risk anyone making a playful comment to his face.

The guy had made a mistake, but he had to be hurting just as much as Bex right now.

Taking a deep breath, Isaac unlocked his phone and opened up the message thread that had been hopping all day.

He said no. Still getting the details. Best if everyone just forgets about this for now.

Two seconds of silence and then…

The Bouse group chat erupted.

***

Bex

Isaac’s phone was going crazy. He’d muted it, but she could see him peeking at it every once in awhile and a flood of notifications flashing across his screen every time.

“Okay, what is going on?” she finally asked, not able to take it anymore.

Whatever it was, maybe it would be a good distraction.

“Hm?” He quickly flipped his phone face down again, not looking at her. “Oh, nothing. Sorry. Work stuff.”

Right.

“Isaac,” she said and he hummed, still not looking her way.

Her friend was wonderful at so many things, but lying to people’s faces was not one of them.

“Isaac, look me in the eye and tell me that’s work stuff.”

He looked her in the side of her nose as he picked up his phone and started to get up off the couch. “It’s work—oof!”

Bex leapt across Emery to snatch the phone out of his hands. “You forget I know your unlock code,” she said.

“No, Bex!” He tried to grab it back, but she already had it open and more notifications were flashing across the screen. “I’m so sorry,” he said, flopping back on the couch. “I—”

“Is this?” She swiped through the messages. “There was a bet going on me and Mouse?” She looked up to see a room full of regretful nods and Emery rolling her eyes.

“For the record, I was not involved,” she said. “I haven’t even been here.”

“Who is?”

“Pretty much all of Fifty-One and a good chunk of the precinct and Med,” Sam admitted. “Not Chris and Cindy or Jay and Will. Or Connor actually.”

“Are you mad?” Isaac asked in a small voice. “We didn’t mean for it to get this big.”

Bex sighed. She wanted to be, but she didn’t have the energy. And honestly, she wasn’t even surprised. Fifty-One had been betting on everything for as long as she’d known them. And she knew how easily their shenanigans spiralled out of control. They couldn't help themselves.

Part of her wished they’d managed to curb those impulses for this particular situation though. She didn’t need it to get any messier than it already was.

“I’m not mad.” She waved the phone at him. “I’m more concerned about these reactions because you know how my family is. I don’t want anyone saying anything to Mouse.”

Well-meaning or not, it would make things ten times worse. None of them could possibly understand all of the layers at work. They’d just see her hurting and want to take action.

“I’m gonna—” She motioned toward the screen of Isaac’s phone.

“Oh, for sure,” he said. “Go ahead. It’ll be better coming from you I think anyway. More effective.”

Oh, she could do effective.

Bex opened the group chat and started a voice message.

“Hello family and friends. This is Bex. Yes, I know about the bet. I hope you all lost money. By now you’ve heard that ‘Bouse’—who thought of that by the way? Never mind. Not important. Bouse isn’t happening and the most important thing to know here is that it’s no one’s fault. It is what it is, okay? Under no circumstances is anyone to say anything to Mouse. Not one word. If you do, I will know and I will make your life a living hell. And on top of that, I will never make any of you cookies every again. Think about that. If one of you steps over the line, no one gets cookies. Forever. So please just…try and be cool, okay? Love you. Bye.”

She closed the chat and tossed the phone over to Isaac before leaning against Emery with her eyes closed. Everyone was quiet for a minute. Emery stroked her hair.

“Chief Boden is backing you up in the chat and telling everyone to behave,” Isaac reported and Bex sat straight up.

“Uncle Bo was in the chat? God, you really did get everyone.” Bex shook her head. “Okay, no, we’re officially done with that little side quest. It’s too much. Food and drink and snuggles, now, please.”

Her friends leapt into action and she let them do all of the fussing. She was going to let herself be a mindless slug for the next few hours.

Except—

She should do one last thing.

Bex picked up her own phone and sent a quick text to Jay.

Would you mind going to check on Mouse? No questions asked, please. Just do me a favour and check?

He immediately asked a bunch of questions, but when she didn’t respond just wrote “Okay.”

There.

Now Mouse had someone too.

*** Shay

She stared down at her phone. “Don’t say it,” she said, holding up a finger to Julie, knowing she was giving her a look without even having to check. “I know, okay? I know.”

“I wasn’t going to say I told you so.” Julie cuddled up beside her on the couch, hooking her chin onto Shay’s shoulder as she checked out the rapid fire messages being exchanged in the group chat. “I was going to ask if anyone has actually talked to Bex. Do we know how she is? How she really is?”

Shay shook her head. Isaac had been light on details, but she could read between the lines. Plus, Bex sounded awful in the voice memo she’d left in the chat.

They needed to start organizing. Figure out ways to support Bex.

If there was one thing she knew about heartbreak—hard won through her years and years of experience with it—

It always got worse before it got better.

***

Jay

He made his way over to Mouse’s place in record time.

Bex had sent him that cryptic freaking message and then refused to respond to him so he had no idea what he was walking into.

A prickle of fear crawled up the back of his throat as he thought about past situations he’d walked into with Mouse. Things he thought his friend would never come back from.

“Mouse!” Jay banged on the door. “You in there? Open up!”

He kept on banging until the door finally opened.

Mouse stood there, looking like shit and blocking his way in. “What’s up, Jay? You’re gonna get me kicked out of the building if you keep yelling like that.”

“What’s up?” Jay tried to move forward, but Mouse wasn’t budging. “You tell me what’s up? Bex sent me a text asking me to check up on you—”

Mouse’s face did something complicated at that before settling back into a blank stare.

What the fuck was going on?

“Why is she worried about you? What happened?”

“She’s probably just worried because I’m doing what you said.” Mouse focused on a spot on Jay’s shoulder as he talked, voice slow and flat. “Pulling back a bit. Keeping my distance.”

That wasn’t—no, Mouse had got it twisted somehow.

“I didn’t mean don’t hang out with her,” Jay said. “I want us all to hang out like we always do. I just meant it was a bad idea to date.” He started to dig his phone out of his pocket. “Look, I’ll text her and we can have a movie night or something and get some pizza—”

“Jay.”

His tone stopped Jay mid-screen swipe. Jay looked up to see Mouse watching him with a pain in his eyes that he hadn’t seen there for awhile now.

“You’re not getting it, man,” he said. “If I can’t—you said it would be a mistake, right? And I get that. I do. So, I’m trying to walk it back, but it’s—it’s hard.” Mouse’s hand gripped at the door as he took a breath. “…I just need a bit of space.”

“Mouse—”

The door was shut and Mouse was gone before he could finish his sentence.

“Shit,” Jay whispered to himself as a voice in the back of his head started rumbling that he may have seriously fucked up.

***

Will

Will had been counting down the minutes until his shift was over, racing home as soon as he was free. He fed Kol, took him out for a walk, and then hopped into the shower.

Then he stared at his closet and really wished Bex was home.

He settled for sending her pictures of his outfit options until she and her friends helped him narrow it down to the perfect one.

Will felt like a teenager getting ready for his first date. It was a little bit ridiculous.

But fun?

He decided not to examine it too hard.

One final check on his hair and he was out the door to pick up his date.

Connor was waiting for him at the door of his building, but Will managed to get out to open the car door before he made it there. “I would have come up to your apartment,” he said. “Knocked on your door for the whole nine yards.”

“Okay, don’t laugh,” Connor said, pointing at warning finger at him. “ButIgottooexcited.”

“What?” Will laughed, hearing enough of that mumbled mess to get an idea of what he said.

“I got too excited to wait upstairs and decide to come down to wait for you here,” Connor said, rolling his eyes. “Happy now?”

“Yes, actually,” Will grinned at him as he got in the car. “Very.”

They had dinner at one of Will’s favourite restaurants—an Italian place that was more hearty, than fancy. They stopped at a bar afterwards—not Molly’s because neither of them was interested in that level of scrutiny on a first date—for some after dinner beers and a few rounds of darts.

Will kept waiting for the other shoe to drop and for things to take some kind of turn, but it was…

Amazing.

Conversation flowed easily between them with lots of laughter. They stuck to fun and interesting things. Kept it light. They’d had plenty of heart to hearts already so there was an unspoken agreement to lean into the levity of a first date.

And then there was the flirting.

Apparently Connor had been holding back before because Will was overwhelmed in the best way possible. Although he liked to think he was giving as good as he got if Connor’s heated glances were anything to go by.

They stayed out until midnight. Hours later than they should have considering the day they’d both worked, but neither of them had been ready to say goodnight too soon.

Will took Connor back home and walked him to his front door.

“I like the whole nine yards,” Connor said, quirking a smile at him before leaning in. “So…where does a goodnight kiss fall on the taking it slow spectrum?”

He pretended to think it over. “It’s allowed,” Will finally said, moving to close the distance between them.

It was tentative to start, in the way of first kisses, until Connor tilted his head just so and everything slotted into place. Will felt the sparks down to his toes as he deepened the kiss.

He chased the feeling until Connor made a surprised noise and Will pulled back to see he’d somehow crowded Connor into the wall of the building.

Oops.

“We should probably stop before we break the spectrum,” Connor said, sounding a little breathless.

“Right,” Will released him with an embarrassed chuckle. “Sorry about that.”

“Don’t be.” Connor darted forward to give him one last peck. “I liked it.” He smiled at Will before saying goodnight and heading inside.

Will’s phone went off as he headed toward his car and he knew before he checked it would be Connor.

CONNOR: What are you doing Friday night?

WILL: Going on a date with you?

CONNOR: My fancy car and I will see you at seven.

WILL: I’ll be waiting on the sidewalk.

He knew he was grinning like an idiot the whole ride home, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care.

He’d gone on a date with Connor Rhodes.

And it was awesome.

Walking back to a Bex-less apartment was less awesome. He wanted to tell her every single detail, but that was going to have to wait until tomorrow.

At least he wasn’t completely alone.

“Kol,” he said, as he flopped down on the couch. “Come here and let me tell you about the wild day I had.”

***

Bex

She and Emery made it back to the apartment by ten the next morning. Well after the time Will would have left for work so at least she wouldn’t have to face him until that night.

Or so she thought.

His stuff was all hanging by the door when she opened it and she could hear humming coming from the kitchen.

“Will?” She called out, sharing a resigned glance with Emery. “What are you doing home? Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” he called back. “Somebody needed a switch so I don’t go in until noon. Glad I still get to see you…” He trailed off as he came out of the kitchen and got a good look at her as she stood in the living room.

She tried to look normal, but—

“Oh, Bex,” he said, face falling as he made his way over in two strides. “What happened?”

“I’m fine,” she said, but her voice breaking on the last word didn’t help her cause at all.

Kol lifted his head up from the couch and whined at her.

“Kol says that’s bullshit,” Will said.

“Language, Kol,” she managed to mutter before Will had her wrapped up in a gigantic hug. He maneuvered her toward the couch, getting Kol to scoot over to make room. Emery murmured something about making tea as she headed for the kitchen.

“I really am okay, Will,” she started to say before he cut her off with a flat look. “I will be okay,” she amended. “Talking with my friends last night helped a lot.”

“You can talk to me too,” he said earnestly and she loved him for it, but—

“What I really want to do right now is talk about your date.”

“Are you sure?” He didn’t look convinced by that plan of action at all.

“Oh, my god, yes,” she exclaimed. “I need the serotonin, okay? Do not leave a single detail out. I want to hear about the date. I need to hear about the asking! I mean, I know it went well, obviously, but I want to hear it all from you.”

“I did the sleeve thing,” Will said, already blushing.

“I knew it would work,” Emery yelled from the kitchen.

“Yeah, definitely not how you thought it would though,” Will said, rolling his eyes. He proceeded to tell them the whole hilarious story and Bex sat back, letting herself bask in her brother’s joy.

***

Bex

Later that night, when it was dark and quiet and Will was still at work, she and Emery sat on the couch with Kol between them.

“How are you really doing?” Emery asked her.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Bex shot back.

Silence filled the space between them as neither one moved to answer the question.

But—

Horrible, horrible honesty, right?

“I’m not okay,” Bex whispered. “I feel like I’m walking around with my chest ripped open and I’m trying to hold it together and it shouldn’t be that hard, but every step keeps dragging me down.”

Emery nodded, reaching over Kol to grab her hand. “I’m not okay either,” she said. “I thought I could keep busy and distract myself, but I’m—I’m scared all the time, Bex, and it’s so exhausting. I hate that everything is such a mess, but I can’t find my way through it.”

Bex shuffled around to fully face her on the couch. “I don’t want to talk to my brothers about this right now,” she said. “It’s just too complicated—it’s too much, but—”

“You need to talk about it,” Emery said.

“We both need to talk,” Bex countered. “About all of this stuff. Without pretending we’re okay.”

“So, we’ll be not okay together for awhile.” Emery squeezed her hand and Kol grumbled, rolling over on the couch so they could give him belly rubs. “I can handle that.”

Not okay. Together.

Sounded like a plan.

If you need something to make you smile after reading this and you haven't spotted it yet, I rewrote the break room scene as a little ficlet from Connor's perspective. It's called I'm Looking Disrespectfully, Sir and you can read it here. (Two other bonus ficlets are also available: IT'S DECEMBER 23RD, WILL!!! which takes place before Sometimes You Need and The Grocery Store Trip which takes place after Game Night 2: Fresh Blood. Hope you check them out!😀)

Click here to read Part 18: Honesty. Horrible, Horrible Honesty.

Click here to read Wingman? Wingwoman? Wingperson. on ao3:

And here is the tag list (let me know if you wish to be added or removed):

@sorry-i-spaced, @iunnowatuwant, @thegirlwhowishedeveryonelived, @ivyalmighty, @thewannabewriter, @lexhalstead3, @multifandomgrl08, @foxes-and-cats, @sensitivemallysix, @thebewingedjewelcat

[percyshipz]

     Me 🤝 Murray

Playing love doctor 

[sluttyten]

Taeil with 98

Taeil + “I love you, idiot”

When you met Taeil it’s because you were friends with Yuta. Newly friends through another friend, but still, you knew Yuta first. He brought Taeil along when you decided to meet up with him for coffee one day, and after that, you were hooked on Taeil. He was funny and smart, the best vocalist you’d ever met, handsome, a good cook, and you quickly learned that you had a few other similar interests.

It was no time at all before you decided you had a big crush on Moon Taeil. You started trying to convince Yuta to invite Taeil to things, or trying to get him to invite you over to their dorm so you could see Taeil, anything at all that would let you spend more time with him. You even asked for his number, but Yuta informed you that Taeil had literally just gotten a new phone and Yuta didn’t have the number yet, and he wasn’t allowed to give out Taeil’s contact info anyway unless Taeil told him he could.

But at least Yuta did usually bring Taeil around when you asked. He orchestrated run-ins with you while he was with Taeil. Yuta was like the perfect wingman for you.

And it’s during one of those run-ins while Yuta’s in the middle of saying something to you about how you never answer his messages (which is blatantly untrue) that you blurt out to Taeil, “Can I have your number?”

Taeil looks taken aback, but he exchanges his contact info with you.

You make use of it, messaging him a couple days later to see if he wants to hang out. You know he likes Pilates since he’s talked about it with you before, and you’ve been wanting to do Pilates, but you hate the idea of going to the gym alone and you have no idea what equipment to use at home.

Truthfully you’d not thought of doing Pilates before you heard Taeil talk about it. You just wanted an excuse to be with him without Yuta. And it works. Taeil agrees, and then after that you and Taeil go to Pilates at a gym halfway between both of your places every Thursday.

But that’s just it. Just Pilates. No bright and beautiful relationship blossoms out of Pilates class. You still don’t see Taeil other than for class or unless you’re with Yuta, and that starts eating away at you because you really, really like Taeil.

“Maybe you should talk to him,” Yuta suggests one day. “Tell him how you feel.”

“No. Why would I do that?” You can’t make the first move that would be terrible. What if Taeil completely shoots you down?

Yuta rolls his eyes. “You like him, right? It’s been months now that the two of you have been friends, going to your Pilates class on Thursdays. Maybe you need to invite him to do something else, and while you’re there, talk to him about how you have feelings for him. I don’t know. Maybe he’s scared to make a move on you, and maybe he feels the same way. This is all weird to me, and I don’t like to know about my members’ romance lives. He’s my roommate, you’re my friend. I don’t know what advice to give you.”

He’s probably right. You’re kinda in love with Taeil by this point. You like everything about him, you miss him when you go too long without talking to him, and you want to tell him the most exciting parts of your day because every time you do Taeil always gets excited with you. You feel like your world got brighter after you met him.

But making the first move scares you.

Before you have the chance to even attempt to build up the nerve for it, you run into Taeil at your favorite cafe.

He’s sitting alone at a table, and at first you aren’t sure it’s him, but when they call your name for your drink, he looks up.

Taeil smiles at you and waves, so you claim your drink and walk over to him. “Hi, Taeil.”

“No Yuta today?” He asks with a hint of something sharp in his voice. “Aren’t the two of you attached at the hip.”

“Not really.” You laugh, a little surprised at his tone.

“It seems like you’re always together.”

You don’t feel like you are. Though, maybe most of the time you see Taeil, you are with Yuta or meeting up with Yuta or you mention plans to go hang out with Yuta. But it’s because being around Taeil makes you nervous, and when you’re nervously searching for a topic to talk about, you latch onto your mutual friend.

“I’ve got to go, I’m sorry,” Taeil says as he stands up suddenly, grabbing his drink and his phone from the table. “I’ll see you around.”

And then he’s gone, and you’re left standing there a little confused about what just happened.

The next time you see him is almost two weeks later.

Yuta invites you over to the dorm, telling you he’s tired of you pining after Taeil who keeps refusing to tag along when Yuta invites him to hang out with the two of you. “He can’t run away if we’re in the dorm.”

“We’re gonna drink,” Yuta tells you when you arrive. “So I hope you’re thirsty.”

A few of the other members are there too, everyone drinking and laughing, and when Taeil comes out to join in the drinking and laughing, you wonder if it’s wishful thinking alone that has you feeling like his eyes are on you as you laugh. The other members come and go until it’s just you, Yuta, and Taeil and you’re not drunk yet but you’re really close to it.

Yuta however has had his fill, so when he curls up on the sofa and passes out, you cover him up with a blanket and keep drinking with Taeil until you are drunk.

You wake some time the next day, squinting against the pale light, your head pounding, your mouth dry, and your body feeling very heavy and weighed down.

Because it is weighed down, you realize. There’s someone sleeping in this bed with you, their arm and leg sling over you.

You turn your head, and your gaze lands on Taeil.

“Oh, shit,” you whisper, trying to untangle yourself from his bedsheets, trying to make sure that you’re still clothed and that you didn’t have sex with him last night because if you have sex with Moon Taeil you would like to remember it.

You’re moving around wakes him up, his arm flexes around your middle, hand curling against your side in an attempt to draw you closer to him. And then he freezes. He opens his eyes and for a moment neither of you move, just staring at each other.

“Taeil,” you break the silence first, “Last night….”

“You crawled in here.” Taeil says quickly. “You were drunk, and since Yuta was passed out on the sofa, I tried to get you to sleep in his bed, but you just crawled in with me and immediately passed out. I wasn’t gonna try to move you. Nothing else happened. Thank God.”

Your heart sinks. Thank God, he’d said. Was the idea of anything more happening with you so disgusting to him?

Taeil must see your thoughts plain on your face because he quickly says, “I just mean, like, I would hate to face the wrath of your boyfriend.”

“My boyfriend?” When have you ever told Taeil you had a boyfriend? You’ve been single since before you met him.

“Yeah, Yuta���s a jealous guy ordinarily. Having you just sleeping in my bed is probably enough to set him off,” Taeil says. As if just then remember he his his arm around you, he suddenly pulls it back, putting some space between the two of you.

You want to reach over and drag his arm back around you, but you hold yourself back. “I don’t think Yuta would care at all if he found me here, not even if I was naked, not if we’d had sex. Because I’m not in a relationship with Yuta.”

Taeil scoffs. “Okay, but you basically are. The two of you are always together. Even if you aren’t in a relationship yet. Like, you’ve got to be in love with him at least to spend that much time together.”

You sit up and look down at him. “Taeil. I’m not in love with Yuta. I love you, idiot. Why do you think Yuta always invites you with him to hang out with me? Because I asked him to. And why I asked for your number?”

“I thought you were trying to make Yuta jealous with my number,” Taeil mumbles.

“And me asking you to come to Pilates classes with me? Taeil, honestly, I don’t like Pilates, but it’s an excuse so I get to see you at least once a week.” You sigh. “I really, really like you. Like a whole lot. Yuta’s been telling me I should confess to you, but I’ve been holding back because you didn’t really seem interested and—“

“I’m very interested.” Taeil cuts you off. “I just thought you were with Yuta, and I didn’t want to get in the way of that.”

“That’s so stupid,” you laugh, and you slide back down so you’re lying in the bed. “So you’re telling me this whole time we could’ve been something more if it wasn’t for this miscommunication?”

Taeil nods and he lifts his head up on his palm, looking down at you with a warm crescent smile. He asks, “Can I kiss you?”

“Oh, Mr.Moon.” You curl your fingers in the front of his shirt, lifting yourself up as he lowers his head. “You can do even more than that, if you want.”

Taeil’s lips meet yours in a sweet kiss, and you cling to him, grateful that the truth is out at last.

[evak-fic-rec-turtleanon]

Evak Fics - Pining

I’m posting half of this list first because I started it a long time ago and it’s taking me a while to go through all the fics. So I will update with more later. 

*** Mutual Pining *** Pining - I might put mutual pining under pining if we don't see much of the other person pining. *** Bonus - The pining is not between Evak 

For the anon from this ask.

I will try my best to separate out the mutual pining fics but I think it will be tricky if it's not tagged as that. So bear with me and let me know of any mistakes or fics I missed out on.

. First Posting : 11 July 2021. Under 15k fics.  .

******* Mutual Pining *******

Even the Illustrator by eavk (SERIES, 3 fics) - An AU where Even’s an illustrator who draws what kids describe to him for YouTube, and Isak is the smitten father of a six year old with a wild imagination.

Postcards by HedwigsTalons (1k words) - Isak's wall is covered in postcards. Isak is supportive of Even's career and he cherishes every postcard but the long distance relationship hurts.

Feelings Come and Go, But Not With You by ultimatelawrence (1.9k words) - It was meant to just be a holiday romance. A fling. Nothing like love. But now it was six months later and Even was still pining over the angel he had met in Paris.

let's pretend into forever by Bellakitse (2.3k words) - “Let me get this straight,” Even starts. “You lied to your boss about having a boyfriend, told her it was me, and now you need me to go with you to your science nerd dinner?”

i will love you until the very, very end (and you were my best friend) by traumatic (2.4k words) - Isak and Even share something in the cool waters of a spring fed pool that no one, not even their fiancées, could ever understand.

Breathe Me by photographer_of_thoughts (4.5k words) - A high school reunion brings Isak and Even together after ten years, and neither of them can forget what happened when they were both seventeen.

Everything comes back to you by MermaidsandMermen (4.8k words) - Light pining. A dribble oneshot for Halloween, full of fluff and Even and Isak and a tiny pinch of angst. Because we need some Halloween fluff. That's all.

Fuck Tha Police by MacksDramaticShenanigans (5.2k words) - “This,” Eskild said, spinning the photograph around so everyone could see it, “is a picture of the latest piece of vandalism from our favorite little street punk.” he finished with a heavy sigh. They are both cops.

i tried to be strong but i lost it (i knew it was wrong, i’m beyond it) (6.3k words) - Even has a thing for his intern, Isak has a thing for his boss, they're both a bit clueless and their friends just want them to get their shit together.

all I see is you by littlemovie (Lejla) (7.4k words) - “Aren’t you gonna ask me why I’m a bad person?” Isak somehow whined and demanded at the same time. Jonas blew out a breath in amusement, which made the dark curls on his forehead move with his breath. “I’m guessing it has something to do with that guy, Even, from the coffeeshop?”

Addicted by endlessandinfinite (8k words) - They’re both completely, overwhelmingly, and incredibly...addicted. Best friends to lovers.

Calleth You, Cometh I by Kollakolan (8.4k words) - “Isak!” Mikaels pipes up. “Didn´t you two have a thing?” he turns to Even. A thing, Even thinks to himself. Yes, Isak and him definitely had a thing. They actually had a low-key thing going for years, but it never really turned into something more. The timing was never right.

In Vino Veritas by Sabeley (9.9k words) - After seven years apart, Isak wakes up to find Even in his bed and a wedding ring on his finger.

Let Me by GayaIsANerd (10.6k words) - Summer brings a lot of things. The smell of sunscreen. The sound of children playing in the shallow part of the lake. The taste of cold beer. The sweet tang of weed. But most importantly, summer brings Isak.

Something Borrowed, Something Blue by BluebeardsWife (10.8k words) - Fake dating AU, you know the drill. Even hires Isak to pretend to be his boyfriend at his ex's wedding. This Means Nothing to Me by cuteandtwisted (10.8k words) - Isak and Even are friends and roommates who don't believe in love anymore (after they both get dumped by other people) until they do. Aka the Friends/Roommates-To-Lovers Don't you let me go by solarpower21 (12.2k words) - In this universe, Isak and Even are roomates and nothing more. Except that there is something more between them and they both know that but are too stubborn to admit it. Too bad it takes a very unfortunate event for them to face the truth. Burn Down The Disco by TheGirlNoOneKnows5 (12.2k words) - A 'Black Mirror: Hang The DJ' AU in which Isak and Even decide to rebel against a futuristic dating system that pairs users up with various people in order to find their perfect match.

La Petite Mort by EvenbechNeiheim (13.4k words) - Even Bech Næsheim is one of those cool and very hot media students at Uni who might just got the task to make a film project. Eskild is the best wingman and things like accidently falling in love with an asshole media student happen. Based on the FIRST KISS YouTube video that gave the internet an entire meltdown. 

when your heart is bleeding, i'm coming to get you by orphan_account (13.5k words) - Isak doesn't exactly expect his hookup from last week to be the love advice columnist at the school newspaper he's working at. He also doesn't expect to fall even harder for him than he already has, which is a shame, really, since Even's crushing on someone else. 

Heal My Heart for Christmas by iwritetropesnottragedies (recklesslee) (13.5k words) - It’s been ten years since Isak left his small town for the big city of Oslo with his father. He hardly even thought of his time there anymore. Until he received a letter from his mother asking him to come home for Christmas for the first time since he had left. 

Love in the Time of COVID: Battlestar Edition by sweetasmaple (14k words) - Isak and Even find each other again during the COVID-19 lockdown, one Battlestar Galactica episode at a time. 

.

******* Pining *******

never seemed so alive by retts (1k words) - Nothing special, just four letters strung together to spell out E V E N but they made Isak's heart race and his face blush and his hands tremble.

Hopeless by waitineedaname (1k words) - Light pining. There was no way in hell Isak would be able to talk to Even. He was tall and cool and handsome, and Isak was pretty sure talking to him would make him spontaneously combust.

i could probably just curl up in you. by milominderbinder (1.3k words) - Isak is away at a cabin with the guys when he gets a text from Even. 'hey, babe, did you take my favourite hoodie?' He is, of course, outraged that Even would accuse him of such treachery. The fact that Isak is wearing the hoodie at that very moment has nothing to do with it.

stuck on you (what did i do?) by itjustkindahappened (1.8k words) - It’s not that Even doesn’t try to be friendly with him—Isak just makes it so hard. Whenever Even approaches, Isak either makes up a fumbling excuse to leave, or just becomes really stiff and refuses to acknowledge Even’s existence.

now and forever (i will be your man) by thekardemomme (2.2k words) -Warning for pain. 3 times isak kisses even +1

i be up in the gym just working on my fitness by orphan_account (2.3k words) - Even knows that he's quite literally going to die when he finds his crush sweating on an elliptical, reading a book with his glasses slipping down his nose.

You know where I stay by nofeartina (2.4k words) - Warning for pain. Isak is so beautiful first thing in the morning. When he still has creases in his face from the pillow, when his face is red and puffy from sleep, his hair all messed up and curly. Even prefers this Isak. This is his Isak, this is only for him.

won't you be my livewire by itjustkindahappened (3.2k words) - "i've been tryin to grab your attention in class for over half an hour by poking you and throwing things onto your desk and you're refusing to acknowledge me and gdi all i wanted to do was tell you that you look cute and now it's gone too far and i can't go back"

Cookies and Cream by GayaIsANerd (3.5k words) - Isak has a crush on the barista. He's too scared to do anything about it, but luckily there's a blizzard coming up.

i can feel the weather in my bones by EvenbechNeiheim (3.7k words) - Isak and Even are childhood friends. There’s a boyfriend sweater and Isak is just desperate to wear it.

On the silver screen by Lokkanel (4k words) - Isak was really not in the mood for this. He had a long week at work, and all he wanted was to relax with his friend, drink a few beers, maybe even smoke some weed and just chill. But no. When Jonas called him to say that he won tickets to the coolest indie film festival in Oslo, Isak knew he could forget his plans for a quiet and simple weekend.

I want to love you (in my own language) by fauu_stine (4k words) - “Okay. Maybe I’m not happy,” he admits in a resigned whisper. “Do you need a shrink discussion or a best friend discussion?” "I think- I think it’s more of a friend with benefits kind of talk."

Don't be an ass by Julieseven (4.1k words) - Even really tried to forget about him. It started out as a harmless little crush, really. He saw him at the karaoke bar SYNG one night, singing "I don't want to miss a thing" at the top of his lungs, clearly drunk out of his mind, but looking like an angel with his messy dark blond locks and crooked smile.

Little Black Book by Laika (4.3k words) - Isak Valtersen is studying his third year at the University of Oslo and having the time of his life. Enter Evy Bech Næsheim, straight out of Nissen, in his stockings, mini skirts and bubblegum scented lip gloss.

cracks in our foundation by towonderland72 (4.8k words) - “You know, like a thousand years ago, men used to wear makeup?” Even asks, as Isak gapes at himself.

Safest With You (Green Curtains) by eavk (5.3k words) - Isak keeps staying up too late studying at the library, but luckily there's an escort service that gives students a buddy to walk with to keep safe at night.

the one with the prom video by thekardemomme (5.5k words) - Even has been in love with Isak since they were younger, but he never intended for Isak to find out this way.

Senses by Lokkanel (5.5k words) - Sight, hearing, smell, touch, taste… Or Even falling in love with Isak, one sense at a time.

you're the one i wanna grey with (5.6k words) - They've only been dating a month, so Isak shouldn't be pathetic enough to miss Even this much when he's only gone for a weekend.

Orion's Nebula by thekardemomme (5.6k words) - Light pining I think. Even Bech Næsheim was enrolled in an astronomy class for one reason and one reason only: the cute ass boy he saw standing in the registration line.

with the taste of a poison paradise by chasingflower (6k words) - It’s routine by now. Isak hangs out with his friends during the day and at night he kisses the Dream-Even that lives on the other side of the door in his living room, and basks in the warm fuzzy feelings he gets as a result of the attention. Coraline Au.

How to Get Your Man - A Plan By Even Bech Naesheim by Evakkk (6.1k words) - When Magnus drops a big secret in front of Even... Even comes up with a brilliant plan to get Isak to reveal his true feelings. All it takes is one little lie, and one crazy family reunion.

To Burn With Desire by photographer_of_thoughts (6.1k words) - AU in which Isak and Even are neighbours and Isak's father has a secret job that unintentionally helps Isak realize he's in love with his best friend.

Watermelon Sugar by MermaidsandMermen (6.6k words) - A little tribute to fruit and touching. To sex, and friendships and finding what you were looking for all along. And of course inspired by Harry Styles latest video offering, just because.

The Fake Boyfriend App by Crazyheart (7.2k words) - AU where Isak is desperately pining for his flatmate Even, and downloads a fake boyfriend app to get over him. When he discovers that the Fake boyfriend is a human, and not a bot, he is sceptical.

That look you give that guy by Lokkanel (7.4k words) - Isak and Even love each other in secret. It is almost thrilling at first, but when hiding and lying to their friends begin to take a toll on Even, Isak decides to end it all. He thinks he has taken the right decision, until Even eventually moves on with someone else.

my longing drives me crazy for you (7.7k words) - Isak's mum worries, Isak makes bad life decisions and Even loves Isak. It's a fake dating au.

I'm Always Here by nofeartina (9.3k words) - “Did you know that Even is working this summer? At that pool at the Plaza?” Jonas says. Isak actually sits up in excitement at this. “Fuck yeah!” Oh, a pool. Actual water they could go swimming in and cool down. And also, Even.

a garden for your love by eggsntoast (9.3k words) - He’s learning to breathe with them, even if he ends up with a floor full of violets by the end of it all. They remind Isak of him, and that’s all that matters. That’s what makes it worse. or: a Hanahaki au ft. Isak heavily pining after Even. Lots of angst.

I wrote an angry letter to the void, and the void responded (9.5k words) - Monday comes, and the book is still there. Isak looks around, content to find the floor practically empty, before giving the book the finger. Fuck that book. - a book finds it's way to Isak's sacred study spot. this proves to be a major distraction.

a constant state of closeness by chevythunder (9.7k words) - “What is it about this dude, anyway?” Elias asks. “You’ve barely even talked to him, right?” “I don’t know,” Even says. “I just got this feeling, you know? Just- I want to make sure he’s okay and safe and… stuff.” - It starts with a hug.

Is This Our Time? by Evakkk (9.9k words) - This is a world where everyone is born with an indistinguishable soulmate mark... it only changes into something recognizable, once you have physical contact with your soulmate, and it's always something meaningful to the relationship. Both partners will bear the same mark. Isak is about to turn 18... and he's the only one in his friend group who still hasn't found their soulmate. But what happens when he goes out one night, gets drunk... and wakes up with his soulmate mark?

Is This What You Wanted? by cuteandtwisted (9.9k words) - Isak is filthy rich and Even is a hardworking male model who just got signed to his father's agency. Even gets an awful offer from Isak: one night with him in exchange for money, and begins to despise him. Little does he know that everything he thinks he knows about Isak is wrong.

Just like in the movies by Lokkanel (10.5k words) - As he began taking in his surroundings, Isak realized he was in one of those small theaters that programmed independent and artsy movies, even old black and white films. He was ready to turn around and walk away when he heard a deep voice say, “Halla.”

my tiny heartbeat in his ear by riyku (11k words) - Now, about a week after the longest day of the year, the empty house across the street has stopped being empty. most beautiful things by scarletbluebird (12.7k words) - This fic is a whole ass journey. Warning for pain. This isn’t a fairytale, Isak tells himself. Even is standing at the bend in the road. He looks like a metaphor for immortal life: the youth a god would kill for. Ambrosia eyes, the universe trapped in the curve of his mouth. He looks like every warning from his mother about strangers you run into after dark. 

One week by Lokkanel (12.8k words) - This thing going on between Isak and Even, whatever they called it - fuckbuddies, friends with benefits - was simple, fun, nothing more. They were friends, they were both free to do whatever they wanted with other people. They’d just meet and have sex whenever they felt like it. Simple. Until what was bound to happen eventually did and Even fell for Isak. 

Plum by Jamz24 (13.2k words) - Femme!teacher!Even asks masculine! plumber!Isak to fix a broken shower on a scorching hot summer day...And if you think it sounds like the start of a porn film you're absolutely right! There's LOADS of smut but ... with LOTS of feelings 

Never be the same by nofeartina (14.2k words) - It starts with a bet - one of those really stupid ones: can they last an entire month without any kind of sex?It’s been 22 days – and Even is dying. 

Somewhere I’ve never been by MinilocIsland (14.6k words) - The first time Even meets Jonas' best friend, nothing goes according to plan. 

If I Should Fall Behind by MinilocIsland (14.7k words) - The plan for tonight had been crystal clear. Stay close to his best friend, and steal her away if needed. Hold her hand through the ordeal of meeting Noora again for the first time in years. Then Even shows up – and suddenly, nothing goes the way it was supposed to. 

All I Ever Wanted by MinilocIsland (14.8k words) - Isak is such a good friend. Probably the best there is. How else could he explain that he's agreed to join Magnus to this place deep in the woods for six full days of silence, meditation, and utter boredom? One thing, he knows. There's nothing exciting for him there. Right? Or: the silent retreat AU. 

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******* Bonus *******

Season 3: Jonas by Laika_the_husband (WIP, SBB 2021 fic) - There is a scene in the end of the script for season 1, where Jonas and Isak kiss each other on a dare. This story is a retelling of season 3 in a universe, where that kiss happened and completely changed the way Jonas sees Isak. Written in Jonas' POV, the story examines sexuality, love, friendship and coming to terms with never getting the boy you shouldn't have fallen for in the first place.

What the fuck is wrong with me? by notanugget (11.6k words) - The five times isak felt guilty for being in love and the one time he didn’t 

thanks for the weed, thanks for everything by evak1isak (13.1k words) - Jokael. Jonas' dealer has moved to Denmark, and Even recommends his friend's weed. What Jonas didn't expect, though, was to develop a crush on a boy, on Mikael. 

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******* WIP *******

Baby, why do you have to shine so bright? by Lilacpotter - Even knew he was radiant, and he was used to people always wanting to be around him, enchanted by his captivating words and glowing smiles, as if he was the tantalising sun. But then one day, he comes across someone who shines much brighter than the sun itself in Even’s eyes.

Lonely Hearts Club by EndingsNotTheStory - The Hearts Club. A show run by Isak and his 3 friends. He's kind of had enough with hearing about people's relationship issues and giving advice. Until the guy from his theatre class and Isak's totally not crush Even calls, dealing with relationship issues. pining

[peach-pops]

Soooooo I just read your Nishin our fic about Kageyama sister and it was GREAT sooooo I would like to request one where Bokuto starts to like Akaashi or Kuroo’s sister!! Either one is fine! Thanks! 🏐🤍 love your writing!!

I’m getting so many requests for haikyuu x teammates sibling! reader since the Nishinoya fic and tbh I ain’t complaining. 

Bokuto Crushing on Akaashi’s Older Sister HC

Bokuto is one of those guys who obeys Brocode to the fullest extent. In his eyes it is basically religious text and for the most part, the rules were pretty standard. 

The biggest rule Bokuto thought he would never have to worry about was rule number four

If a girl falls into the following criteria, she is off limits forever until the end of time: A) Was a bro's ex-girlfriend. B) Your bro specifically told you he wanted her. C) Is your bro's sister.

Bokuto knew Akaashi had an older sister but you had been studying abroad for the past couple of years so Bokuto basically never even thought about you until he came over to hang out with Akaashi at his house

Bokuto doesn’t knock, he always barges in and it’s okay cause he has his own key and when he hears some shuffling in the kitchen, he assumes it’s his friend

“ Akaashi! I hope you’re making lunch cause I am starving! Oh also who’s car is that in the driveway-”

This dude literally stops in his tracks because he sees a random girl he’s never met before in his life making a bowl of cereal with headphones in her ears like she owns the place

He can hear your loud music playing but he notices that you don’t even know that this stranger is in your house gawking at you

Bokuto feels his breath hitch and he really tries to not eye your whole body up and down but it’s so frickin hard because you’re wearing an old Fukurodani jersey BUT NOT JUST ANY JERSEY! 

Bokuto specifically remembers giving Akaashi one of his old Jersey’s that got too small for him SO NOW YOU’RE WEARING A JERSEY THAT USED TO BELONG TO BOKUTO AND IT’S SO BIG ON YOU

And he’s not even sure if you’re wearing anything underneath

You close the fridge door and right when you turn around, you see this stranger in your home and you feel a wave of adrenaline and fear wash over you because who.is.this.sexy.but.random.guy?!?! 

He looks kinda familiar but he could easily have been a face you saw in passing so you’re more abrasive 

“ Who are you and what the hell are you doing here?” 

“ Who am I? Who are you?”

The two of you pause before you both shout Akaashi’s name because um someone has some explaining to do 

So Akaashi scrambles out of the bathroom cause he thinks someone is about to throw hands but he just sees his sister and his best friend screaming for him and he’s just so over it 

“ Akaashi? What is this scary but beautiful girl doing in your house? Are you two dating? Do you have a secret girlfriend? Why wouldn’t you tell me? And why is she eating your cereal- ohmygod did she spend the night?” 

“ Me??? Dating Keiji? That’s disgusting!” You can’t even get all of the words out because you just want to gag at the thought,” I think I need to jump off a bridge!” 

“ Wha-! Bokuto-San this is my older sister, Y/N! I told you she’d come back to Japan today, remember? ” 

Bokuto stops panicking and just pauses because sister???? 

Ohhhhhh yeah that definitely makes so much sense you’re practically a prettier version of Akaashi

But now Bokuto starts to feel even more guilty because he feels bad that he practically checked out his friend’s sister with no shame and he’s already so attracted to you

“ Akaashi, can I talk to you for a second, alone?” Bokuto asks before grabbing his arm and leading him to one of the corners of the house

“ Lets say hypothetically, you had a sister, just hypothetically. And she is super hot-shit sorry-I mean like she’s the prettiest girl in the entire world and hypothetically, I was interested in her romantically. But there’s a problem because hypothetically, the brocode states that it’s against the law to be interested in a bros sister but hypothetically, how would you handle and deal with it?” 

Obviously you can hear the conversation but you do a little happy dance because you wouldn’t mind going on a date with Akaashi’s friend. BESIDES, Akaashi had dated one of your friends years back so now, it was even 

Akaashi just rolls his eyes and rubs his temples with his fingers because jesus, even though Bokuto isn’t girl crazy, he had a feeling he would act like this when he found out he had a sister 

“ Bokuto-san, empirically speaking, it’s not up to me if you ask her on a date, that’s her decision if she wants to date you. However, if you’re asking for my blessing and how I would feel, I know you’re a good guy so yes, I would be fine with it.” 

“ AKAASHI YOU’RE THE BEST BROTHER IN LAW EVER!” 

Akaashi doesn’t even know how to respond this dude just straight up goes back to his room because he can’t deal with so much emotion right now

We all know he would love it if Bokuto was his brother in law but anyway

 Bokuto’s voice carries so easily so when he comes back to the kitchen, he’s trying to act all cool and shit like he leans up against the doorway like a total dork 

He’s trying to do channel his inner Kuroo because one day during training camp, Kuroo was giving him advice on how to pick up girls

Kuroo would be an amazing wingman??? Anyway

“ FYI, you look super good in my jersey,” Bokuto smirks as you shake your head because oh my god, his flirting is so bad but damn he’s just so cute

“ FYI, I’m free this Saturday. You can pick me up at eight,” You smile as you duck underneath his arm and head up back to your room with your bowl 

Bokuto kinda just stands there for a solid four minutes in your kitchen because wow he’s kinda turned on with how forward you are

He just heads straight into Akaashi’s room and starts asking for relationship advice and Akaashi’s head is spinning because jesus, things were going to get confusing real quick 

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

this is for you clanny how about reader helping bossip to confess to bob but when he didn’t get the memo, reader just tell bob that bossip like him. since reader is friends with bob, bossip and amor they always be supportive, when bossip tell reader about his confession to bob. Reader gladly help bossip (reader secretly ship bob and bossip) after helping bossip, he is ready to confess bob. when bossip confess his feeling to bob, bob didn’t get the memo and think bossip want be super best friend. which cause a heart break noise to bossip and reader facepalm so hard and tell bob that bossip is in loved to him and its they favorite ship. bob is shock and apology to bossip about his feeling, reader smirk to amor for the bet that they bet which is reader be live-streaming on amor channel playing * insert any games * for a day while amor do the dishes for a week. family member anon

[Y/N]: Yeah they're really cute together, don't you think?

A: Absolutely.

[Y/N]: You think Bosip will confess?

A: Dunno. Bob isn't the brightest so it might be a while before he gets the memo

[Y/N]: Hmm...

[Y/N]: What if I helped Bosip confess to him? I bet I can do it

As you waited for Amor's response to your idea, you noticed a certain yellow-haired male approaching you.

"Hey, [y/n]..I have a small favor to ask.."

You quickly put your phone out of sight and smiled up at him, acting like nothing was going on. "Sure. What's up?"

Although Bosip seemed confused on why you were being secretive, he just sighed and rubbed his arm, looking worried. "I....think I've fallen for Bob. Like big time."

'Oh my gosh..he actually likes him?' You struggled to contain your eagerness as you calmly nodded in understanding. If it wasn't already obvious, you were their biggest shipper...even if the ship hasn't fully sailed.

"Awh, when did you realize this?"

"Back in the Friday Night Funkin' game, after seeing how much Boyfriend and Girlfriend loved each other...I just...wanted that same thing with Bob." A slight blush dusted his face. "You get what I mean?"

"Oh absolutely. So, what's stopping you?"

"Well, every time I try to hint at my feelings for him he just...assumes I mean them as a "best friend"." He frowned. "I have an idea but I don't know if it'll help him realize what I truly mean."

"Then I'll help you help him realize that." You stood up, patting his shoulder. "I'll try my best to give you some advice."

Bosip relaxed a bit as he smiled lightly, being glad he could trust you. "Thanks, [y/n]. I'll tell you more about my idea later." And with that, he left the room.

Once he was gone you checked your phone.

A: And I bet you can't first try ;)

[Y/N]: Fine, gamer boi.

[Y/N] Btw Bosip just told me he needs help confessing to him so ig the bet's on

A: Okay. If he does I'll let you stream games on my channel for a day

[Y/N]: And you gotta wash the dishes for a week

A: What??? No fair :((

[Y/N]: A bet is a bet lmao

A: Fair. But if I win you'll be stuck with the dishes for TWO weeks :)

[Y/N]: Alright. You're on

Confident that you'll win this bet, you put your phone away and stood up. But you reminded yourself that you weren't doing this just so you could avoid dishes.

No. You wanted to help Bosip more than anything else, and even if it didn't work out...you'd feel better knowing you tried.

........

After helping your shark-like friend prepare for his confession, you finally arranged a meeting for him and Bob at a nearby café. Of course you were gonna be the wingman since you wanted to see if he was really that much of an airhead.

You had your doubts, but then again you'll never know till you see it first hand.

Once the three of you arrived, you got food and chatted at the café for a bit. There were smiles and laughs exchanged between Bob and Bosip as they recalled their latest adventures in the games within Amor's computer.

"Man, I really love going on adventures with you!"

"Yeah..we've been going on them together for so long." Bosip lightly scratched his neck, eyes briefly glancing at you and seeing your small nod.

Time to move the plan forward. It was now or never.

You excused yourself from the table to buy something else at the register, but you watched the two closely, listening the best you could.

"Bob, I...damn, this is gonna be tough to say.."

"Huh? What is it, Bosip?" The blue-mouthed male looked at him in worry

"I know I've mentioned my feelings about you before but..." Taking a moment to compose himself, Bosip sighed and put his hand over Bob's. He refused to back down. "I don't mean any of that as friends..or best friends. You remember how we met Boyfriend and Girlfriend? Seeing how much they love each other just...makes me want to have that same love. With us. After all we've done together it's all I could ever want. So..do you understand now? What I've been trying to tell you this whole time?"

For a few long moments, Bob seemed to be pondering over his words, looking at his hand and then back to Bosip. Even you were holding your breath as though you were the one confessing.

Time moved on for everyone else, but it seemed to completely stop for you three.

Then Bob smiled and chuckled a bit. "Ohhh, I see now."

"You do? Oh, I'm relieved-"

"You wanna be super best friends!"

Just like that, Bosip's heart felt like it dove straight into a pit of spikes.

"..n-no..." It was quiet murmur of sheer heartbreak as he took his hand away. His ability to keep calm and composed was rapidly failing as he looked away from Bob and to the window, trying not to let him see his watering eyes.

"Bosip? What's wrong?"

"Are you that dense?"

"[Y/n]???" Bob saw you return to the table, confused at why you looked so livid. "You heard us??"

"Let me spell it out for you: Bosip. Is. In. Love. With. You." You huffed. "I thought it was obvious when he mentioned Boyfriend and Girlfriend. He wants a romantic relationship with you."

"H-Huh????" His voice only rose an octave more as he glanced between the depressed-looking Bosip and you. "They were actually dating?? I-I thought those were just their names!!"

With an exasperated sigh, you just lightly smacked the side of your face, shaking your head. "I don't know what Bosip sees in you, but I shipped you guys from the start. Amor did, too."

Finally realizing his mistake, Bob shut his mouth and looked at the other male, feeling guilty for being this naïve. "Bosip..I-I'm so, so sorry!! I'd l-love to go on more adventures with you as your boyfriend, not best friend."

Bosip perked up, his eyes widening. "Y-You do?"

"Yeah! I understand now and agree with all that stuff you said." Smiling, Bob took his hands into his own, but seeing the tears in the latter's eyes made him feel even worse. "I didn't mean to make you cry. I'm sorry."

"It's alright now, Bob." Bosip smiled back at him. "I'm glad you understand."

Your heart swelled at the sight of the two finally realizing their love for each other. But in the back of your mind you were doing a victory dance, eager to text Amor about the news--and maybe provide photos as proof.

This ship has definitely sailed.

[kaistarus]

Just A Line Without A Hook

Pairing: Hinata X Reader

Words: 5.9K

Summary: You and Hinata share your point-of-views during important milestones throughout your relationship.

A/N: This is a full relationship development and I’m very proud lol hopefully you can find some joy in it :3

Masterlist // Ko-Fi

Hinata was weird.

That lurked in your mind as you leaned on a conspicuously sticky bar table listening to him tell you his entire life’s story. Your original intent for the night had been to quickly pop into Yachi’s birthday party since you worked at the butt crack of dawn. Give her the present and maybe have a drink. Whatever you did it was meant to be fast.

Too bad you had never been good at sticking to plans.

“I moved to Brazil right after high school to learn beach volleyball,” Hinata said, his smile soft as he looked longingly in the distance. “But I didn’t explore as much as I should have. I really want to go back.”

“Out of high school?” You cocked your head to the side, “that’s wild. I moved to Tokyo and still felt completely out of place.”

“Well, it didn’t go too hot at first.” He scratched his cheek. “I actually got my wallet stolen my first week there…”

You fought to keep lips from pulling into a smile.

There was something in the carefree way he carried himself that made it hard to turn away. The moment Yachi introduced you there was an odd sense of comfort that washed over you. Which made no sense because you had known absolutely nothing about the guy-aside from him being a professional volleyball player and attending high school with Yachi.

Still, it was no reason to let your guard down.

“Sounds like they took advantage of the clueless foreigner,” you teased, curious butterflies tickling your abdomen when he pouted. “I’ve always thought Italy looked cool. If I could travel somewhere.”

Hinata’s lips mindlessly curved into a relaxed smile as you spoke, as if that was their default expression when not preoccupied. And it made conversation with him easy. It dissipated your usual anxieties about overthinking every action or word. You truly felt like you could be yourself and just exist within his presence.

“I have a friend in Italy!” Hinata said, elation lighting up his amber eyes. He began drawing circles in the condensation of his glass with an awkward laugh. “I think anyway. He travels all over the place, but he was in Italy last I knew.”

“That’s so cool,” your jaw went a little slack. You didn’t know people actually did stuff like that.

“Yeah Noya’s the best,” Hinata nodded resolutely. “He visited me for a while in Brazil. I taught him some Portugese and we played beach volleyball. He was so jealous everyone called me Ninja Shoyo. It was awesome.”

Hinata could speak Portugese? Ninja Shoyo?

So many questions…

“What’s a Ninja Sho-” You began until your phone lit up after receiving a message and you realized just how late it was. “Oh my god, I have to go.”

“Wait,” Hinata interrupted you mid-frantic scrabble to zip your jacket. You furrowed your brow at the smartphone he placed unlocked on the table between you. “Could I-uh-you know… talk to you again sometime?”

You blinked a few times before swiping the device off the bar’s gross table. “Yeah,” you said, a warmth you didn’t recognize filling your chest as you created your contact. “I’d like that.”

An absentminded smile painted Hinata’s face after you waved good-bye and when you stepped outside beneath the light snowfall you realized your lips were curved to match. But there was still too wide a gap between how little you knew about Hinata and how much you desired to be close to him. That new part of you burned too bright in your chest to be ignored.

And you would simply have to change that.

*******************************************************************************************

Hinata huddled in the corner of the gymnasium over his duffle bag, staring at his cellphone in case he received a last second message. His eyes flickered between the ticking clock above the bleachers and his phone’s black screen, stomach sinking as the seconds passed. He anxiously unlocked his phone to scroll through and analyze his last conversation.

Had he said something wrong? He supposed he’d never actively tried to flirt before, so it wasn’t unlikely he offended you somehow. He furrowed his brow and chewed on his thumbnail, rereading his last message. Maybe he overdid it with the emojis?

Wait, were you at work? You could also just be busy. Maybe he was just overthinking everything…

“Why are you crouched in the corner like a creep?” Atsumu crept up behind him, eyeing him suspiciously.

Hinata jumped, shoving his phone back into his duffle bag. “Nothing.”

“Bull shit. You’ve been acting off for weeks,” Atsumu squatted to Hinata’s eye-level and leaned forward with a sly grin. “Someone’s keeping secrets.”

A warmth rushed to Hinata’s face. He was a terrible liar if questioned directly. “I wouldn’t keep secrets from you guys. I mean, we’re practically family now.” he chuckled unconvincingly.

“Right,” Atsumu gave him a once-over before standing. Hinata let out a relieved sigh that he’d been spared for now.

“What’s happening over here?” Bakuto boisterously called out while skipping over to the boys. Sakusa trailed behind him with his hands shoved deep into his sweatpant’s pockets.

“Hinata’s lying out his ass.”

Hinata whipped around toward Atsumu with his jaw slack. The audacity of this guy. “I am not!”

“The guy’s zoning out at practice, making heart eyes at his phone, and fucking notre daming over his duffle?” Atsume raised his brows at Hinata. “Either he’s getting scouted for a different team or he’s dating someone.”

“You’re leaving the team?” Sakusa asked monotone, as if he couldn’t care either way. If Hinata wasn’t used to the constant monotone he’d be offended.

“No,” he denied, qualming Bokuto’s prepared puppy-dog eyes. “And I’m not dating anyone.”

Which wasn’t a lie. You were nothing more than a friend at this point. Even if his heart ignited a flame anytime your name crossed his mind.

“A crush then,” Atsumu waved him off. “Either way a massive Hinata life development you lied to us about.”

“I didn’t lie, I just,” Hinata wrinkled his nose while thinking of ways out of the predicament. “I think Shugo is calling to start practice. We should probably-”

“You’ve got a crush?” Bokuto’s eyes appeared to sparkle when he flung an arm around Hinata’s shoulder. “Who is it? Do we know them? You don’t need to sweat Hinata I’m an excellent wingman.”

Hinata waved his hands in front of him. “You don’t know them and it’s okay. You really don’t have to-”

“Oh, don’t be so considerate. We’re offering our services Hinata.” Atsumu said smugly while Bokuto nodded excitedly.

Hinata forced a half-smile. This had been exactly what he wanted to avoid. If his feelings were just a measly crush he would have gladly brought them up to the guys, but they were way more extreme then that.

“I’m not offering anything,” Sakusa raised his brows slightly in Hinata’s direction before walking off. “Good luck.”

“Buzz kill.” Atsumu pouted.

“Look, this is more complicated than you guys realize,” Hinata brushed Bokuto’s arm off his shoulders. “I can’t really explain it, but I don’t think you guys can help me.”

“Hinata, it’s okay. We all have our faults. Some more than others, but we’re here for you.” Atsumu patted his shoulder understandably and Hinata shot him a glare.

“Akaashi always tells me to ‘just be yourself’.” Bokuto nodded proudly, clasping his fist with determination. “Then you’ll attract the people who are meant to be in your life.”

Hinata blinked a few times. That… was really good advice.

“That’s stupid,” Atsumu scoffed. “You gotta stalk them on all social media. Analyze their personality and figure out exactly what they're into. Learn their ins and outs and become their type.”

That… was the dumbest thing he had ever heard.

“I don’t know Atsumu, that sounds kind of wrong,” Bokuto tapped his chin and Atsumu pinched the bridge of his nose, sighed deeply.

“Okay, but numbers don’t lie and I have the highest success rate.”

Bokuto and Hinata tilted their heads mulling that one over. No. It still seemed dumb.

Hinata zoned off as Bokuto and Atsumu began debating the morals of online stalking and the value of Akaashi’s opinions. He already knew that if he wanted real help picking apart the fire in his chest he’d have to talk to someone who’d take him seriously like Yamaguchi. Then he’d actually get to dissect the confusing emotions in his heart-look at them from all angles.

Learn to understand them and tend to them properly. Help them grow.

He watched Atsumu chase a cackling Bokuto around the gym until their captain Shugo scolded them. Hinata smirked. Even if they weren’t the most helpful he still appreciated knowing he had people willing to help him... in their own way.

*******************************************************************************************

You and Hinata spent the majority of your free time together, but even after several months it was nothing more than two friends placing comfort in each other’s company. Most Thursdays it was normal to find Hinata lounging on your living room sofa. He watched some volleyball commentary video on his cellphone, legs propped lazily on the armrest, while you answered work emails at your coffee table.

On a normal Thursday night you would continue whatever show you’d been watching-currently Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood-but tonight you were stuck finishing last minute work. You heaved a sigh and glanced over your shoulder at Hinata, his breathing relaxed while his eyes flickered across his phone’s screen.

You weren’t oblivious to your feelings. Maybe at first you were able to brush them off as excitement about a new friend, but they had shifted into something intense. Always festering in the forefront of your mind throughout your daily routine.

It became obvious when you noticed you spent more time counting the freckles scattered across the bridge of his nose than focusing on conversations. When you realized you spent more time at work trying to pin-point the exact shade to call his hair than getting actual work done. Even more so when your heart would do acrobatics at the sound of his voice whenever you talked on the phone.

No matter how you looked at it, it became impossible to deny.

“Hey, are you okay?”

You looked back again and Hinata’s eyebrows were furrowed with concern, his earbuds pulled out and phone placed on his stomach. 

“Yeah,” you half-smiled and he raised his brows to show he clearly didn’t believe you. You let out a breathy laugh, breaking the eye-contact to lean back against the couch and place your head on his bicep. “I’m just thinking.”

“Don’t hurt yourself,” he teased, a hand gently placed on the crown of your head.

“Shut up,” you said with no bite behind your words.

He snorted, rubbing his thumb against the top of your head. “...what if I was also thinking?”

“That’s probably more dangerous than me thinking,” you laughed, rubbing your socked toes together with a soft smile. When he didn’t respond you twisted around to check on him, but he wouldn’t meet your eyes. “Hinata?”

“Nevermind.”

You gripped the couch cushion for support as you leaned in slightly. There was no way for you to be sure, but you could have sworn Hinata was blushing.

“What were you thinking about?” You questioned. Your heart was beating a million times a second in your chest and there was something akin to hope burning beside it.

Hinata looked in your eyes challengingly, “what were you thinking about?”

“You.”

He seemed taken aback by your bluntness, but brushed it off quickly. “I want to kiss you.”

Your eyes widened. It felt like all the air had been sucked from the room as you stared into his hopeful amber eyes.

“Well, do it then.” You responded, barely above a whisper. Hinata took a while to process, but once he had his face lit up crimson.

His hand cradled the side of your face and you watched him carefully, allowing him to make the moves. You kept your mind blank so as not to overthink the situation, but you hoped at least one brain cell was functioning enough to get you through it.

The kiss Hinata pressed against your lips was a little too hesitant, too off-center, and too brief. Yet the beaming smile he gave you afterward sent your heart into a frenzy unlike anything you’d ever experienced. The dopey smile on your lips felt too embarrassing and you buried your face against Hinata’s chest.

After a little coaxing with promises of television and snacks you peeked back up, happily met with Hinata’s dazed smile. The rest of the night was spent wrapped in each other’s arms and supplying random kisses because ‘they definitely needed practice’; ending with Hinata falling asleep in your bed for the first, but definitely not last, time.

*******************************************************************************************

Hinata hated being sick.

He hated fighting through a thick fog to collect words when stringing together sentences was usually effortless. He hated the pounding headaches following any light reaching his unfocused eyes. And Hinata especially hated his fit lungs struggling through breaths that came out raspy and weak through his aching throat.

Nothing good came from being sick. It was a lesson he learned long ago.

“You need to sleep,” you whispered against the crown of his head, your fingers carding gently through his sweaty locks. He nuzzled the tip of his nose against the cool skin at your collarbone while gripping your shirt at your shoulder.

Unfortunately, you were making it really hard for him to hate anything anymore.

“You’re going to get sick,” he pointed out, voice scratchy from his throat’s soreness.

You hummed dismissively, planting a small kiss on the top of his head. “My immune system’s pretty strong.”

Hinata knew it didn’t work that way, but was too selfish to argue your flawed logic. The bare skin of your neck helped chill his overheated forehead and he cuddled ever closer into you, twining your legs together. He wrinkled his nose when he realized how gross his fever was probably making him.

He’d have to wash your sheets and stuff when he was feeling better.

“I wish I could kiss you,” he pouted.

“That one’s gonna have to wait,” you chuckled lightly, beginning to rub soothing circles into his lower back. The vibrations from your voice sent a pleasant shiver down Hinata’s spine and the corners of his lips lifted. “You know, you’ll get better faster if you sleep.”

“But I wanna stay awake with you,” Hinata whined, lazily beginning to trace designs on your shoulder. The world was so cruel.

“I’ll be here when you wake up,” you said, barely above a whisper. Hinata grumbled a nonsense of a response and you chuckled lightly. You fell silent for a long enough period that Hinata began believing you fell asleep before him until you asked, “can I tell you a secret?”

“Yeah,” Hinata yawned, snuggling against your chest. “I love secrets.”

Silence enveloped his apartment again and Hinata almost dozed off.

“I think I’m in love with you.”

He blinked himself back to consciousness while the words rolled over in his mind. He froze. The fast paced rhythm of your heart was the only source available to keep him grounded as his foggy brain worked to unpack your words.

Love?

He glanced up to meet your nervous eyes paired with flushed cheeks. He stared in disbelief while you continued to patiently wait for his reaction. This better not be some sort of fever induced hallucination.

“No one’s ever said that to me before,” he said, eyebrows creased. Aside from his mom and Natsu, obviously, but he figured you’d know what he meant.

The corner of your mouth lifted into a hopeful half-smile. “Well, I’m honored.” Your touch was gentle as you brushed the hair back from his forehead. He subconsciously leaned into your touch with a wondrous stare and his eyes scoured your face for his answer.

Except you were the answer.

“I’ve never been in love before, but…” He struggled for the right words-any words-settling on what he could piece together at the moment. “I feel like things are better when you’re here. Like, I can do anything I hope to and more. I just feel happier when I’m with you and it’s easier and everything makes sense…” He wrinkled his nose. “Is… is that love?”

You cradled his fevered cheeks tenderly. “I think that’s for you to decide Hinata.”

He nodded to himself. “Okay,” he said determinedly. “Then yeah. It is, I love you, (Y/N).”

“I’m glad,” you smiled, looking at him with an affectionate stare that set his heart ablaze. He took a deep breath before disappointedly letting his forehead drop to your chest.

“Fuck, I want to kiss you so bad.”

You let out a bubble of laughter, rubbing your thumbs tenderly against his cheeks. “We’ll make up for it plenty when you’re feeling better.”

He tried to hold back a smirk, but failed. “Fine.”

“Now go to sleep,” You ordered, planting a quick peck to the top of his head.

He grumbled half-assed as he situated himself more comfortably, but Hinata was all talk at this point. His eyelids were heavy with sleep and his heart hummed with contentment. He was in love. A smile dusted his lips as he began drifting off.

Maybe being sick wasn’t so bad after all.

*******************************************************************************************

You narrowed your eyes suspiciously at your boyfriend across the couch chowing down on take-out sushi. Hinata’s eyes were glued to the television’s screen, his hand alternating between shoveling food into his mouth and rubbing mindless circles on your shin across his lap. Things were comfortable, easy, perfect some might even say.

Too perfect.

“Why aren’t we fighting?”

Hinata turned, cheeks stuffed with food and eyebrows raised with surprise. Under normal circumstances you’d consider it adorable, but you wanted to be serious.

He swallowed with a wince before raising an eyebrow. “Did something happen?”

“No, but we’ve been dating for a while and we haven’t had the big fight.”

“We fight all the time,” he placed his plate on the coffee table with a roll of his eyes. You huffed because he clearly wasn’t on the same page. “Just yesterday I was pissed because you left an empty container of milk in my fridge.”

“It wasn’t empty.”

“There was a dribble. That’s not enough for-” He put up a hand and took a breath. “Not the point. Point is: we fought right?”

“That was hardly a discussion.” You waved him off. He had angrily brought it up, you kissed him sorry, and he forgave you. Hinata didn’t know how to hold a grudge and all you had to do was buy him more milk.

“Okay, a few weeks ago then. You fell in the toilet because I forgot to put the seat down.” He nodded confidently. “You woke me up in the middle of the night for that one.”

You shuddered at the memory of being shocked into full consciousness by falling into a pool of your own piss. In your shocked state you may have chosen violence and decided to pick a fight with Hinata at three in the morning, but it was well deserved.

“Okay, but that’s not what I mean.”

“Are you sure?” He raised a brow. “Waking up with my girlfriend on top of me and slowly realizing she’s threatening to end my bloodline kind of feels like a fight.”

“Okay, that’s-” You pinched the bridge of your nose and ignored his amused smirk. “I’m talking about relationship ruining fights.”

He tilted his head, clearly not following you.

“Like, you insult me using some secret I’ve only divulged to you and I leave crying with no self-esteem.” You explained with exaggerated hand gestures and his nose wrinkled. “Or I walk in on you having an explicit affair with Kageyama, or maybe you get drunk and I over hear you talking with-”

He put both his hands up, “back it up. What the hell was that last one?”

“An explicit affair?” You blinked a few times and cocked your head to the side. “With… Kageyama?”

“Yeah that’s what I-we’re gonna unpack that later.” He palmed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Anyway, why would any of this happen?”

“Because that’s what always happens.” You answered honestly. Maybe you sounded like a pessimist, but that was just the reality of the world. At least, you had never seen it work any other way. “So just… tell me how it’s going to happen.”

Hinata looked crestfallen at your statement and the dejected look in his eyes made your heart sink to your stomach. You closed your eyes, waiting for him to question your sanity, but was taken back when he crawled forward to rest his head on your chest.

“If I ever hurt you like that,” he mouthed against your collarbone. “I would never forgive myself.”

Your heart raced and you brought a hand to card through his unruly locks, nodding to acknowledge his words.

“Don’t overthink,” he said, kissing your neck softly. “If we’re good then we’re good. Maybe that’s just how it’s meant to be.”

Your lips curved into a small smile and you nodded again. You let yourselves just exist with him for a while. Heart’s beating in unison while you twirled tufts of autumn through your fingers. His lips dusting across your neck as he whispered loving affirmations against you. And maybe he was right.

Maybe it was just meant to be.

*******************************************************************************************

Hinata moved expertly around his kitchen preparing breakfast, sneaking glancing at you perched drowsily beside the stove adorning one of his larger shirts. Obviously it wasn’t the first time he’d seen you like that-hair mussed, eyes heavy with sleep, in only his clothes-but it still warmed his heart when you existed so casually in space. Like you belonged there.

His lips curved into a smile as he cracked several eggs into a heated frying pan. The dull thudding of your heels hitting a cupboard mixed with the sizzling on the pan for the background of your comfortable silence. Even without conversation his life felt brighter in your presence and he was thankful his apartment was such a convenient location for the both of you.

You yawned deeply, rubbing the sleep from your eyes and finally focusing on him. Hinata selfishly wished you could be with him more often. The days he woke up without you were the coldest.

“What are you staring at?” You slurred with another yawn.

Hinata shot you a lopsided grin, “my beautiful girlfriend.”

You side-eyed him with an amused smirk, “kiss ass.”

Hinata slid the eggs onto a couple plates before going to stand in front of you. You raised a curious brow, but weren’t given enough time to voice a question before he pressed his lips to yours. His mouth curved into a smile against yours-another reason he loved you being here so often was it meant more of this.

Your hands cradled his face as he appreciated that you still tasted like mint from his borrowed toothpaste this morning. Another subtle way he’d nudged himself into your life he realized, toying with the bottom of his shirt you were wearing.

“What’s this for?” You asked, sliding your hands over his shoulders and hooking them behind his neck.

“I just love you,” he replied earnestly. Your fingers laid a scorching touch as they teased the baby hairs on his neck, sending a shiver down his spine. Hinata took his time with languid kisses-he could kiss you a million times and the hunger for more would always linger.

Your breaths were heavy when you pulled back to place your forehead against his, eyeing him with pure affection that set his heart ablaze. “I love you too, Shoyo.”

He trailed his knuckles down your cheek and relished in the way you leaned into his touch. How had he gotten this luck? Hinata placed a tender kiss on your forehead, temple, cheekbone, tip of your nose, and finally on your lips.

“You should move in.”

Hinata’s eyes widened in shock at his own question because that had been the last thing he’d planned on doing this morning. Well, the suggestion was out there and it’s not like he wanted to take it back...

You blinked several times as you processed. “With you?”

“Ideally.”

You furrowed your brow while mulling it over and Hinata counted his heartbeats to stay grounded. Worst case scenario you say no and things are awkward for a bit. Best case scenario he takes a large step forward with the love of his life.

Oh god, he should’ve planned this better.

“Okay.”

“I understand,” Hinata sighed. “It was totally random and I shouldn’t have expected-did you say yes?”

“Yeah,” your cheeks flushed and you bit your bottom lip to fight down a smile. “I mean, I’m here most of the time anyway, right?”

Hinata nodded mindlessly before a face splitting grin covered his features and he scooped you off the corner. You squealed while he spun you around with a bright laugh, interrupting any of your comments with a passionate kiss. While you were busy tangling your fingers into his unruly hair he glanced toward his bedroom’s door.

There was probably enough time to celebrate.

*******************************************************************************************

“She’s beautiful,” you said in awe, cradling the swaddled newborn in your arms. She was sleeping soundly, tiny breaths leaving her partly open mouth. The baby looked too fragile for this world, features too small and delicate to be realistic.

She was amazing.

“Well, she’s our daughter,” Tanaka’s chest puffed up proudly. He sat beside Shimizu on her hospital bed with an arm hung loosely around her. “Obviously she’s going to be perfect.”

You wouldn’t fight his dramatics; he deserved to be happy today.

“What’s her name?” Hinata breathed. Seated beside you he leaned heavily against your side to observe the baby.

“Sayori,” Shimizu yawned. She and Tanaka had deep bruises under their eyes, and you smirked knowingly down at the sleeping demon in disguise.

Hinata hesitantly moved his hand toward Sayori before planting it back on his lap. You raised a brow, reaching over with the hand not helping cradle Sayori’s head and grabbed his forefinger. Hinata looked at you panicked, but relaxed as you guided him toward Sayori’s small fist that pressed gently against her pink cheeks.

When she instinctively wrapped her fingers around his forefinger his eyes widened and he whipped his gaze to you. “She grabbed my finger,” he whispered.

“They do that,” you smirked, a frenzy of butterflies attacking your stomach as he stared at Sayori wondrously.

“That’s amazing.”

“Okay, stop using my kid as a way to feed your baby fever.” Tanaka huffed. Shimizu elbowed him in the stomach and a warmth trickled up your face when his words hit you.

“What’s a baby fever?” Hinata asked, raising an eyebrow at you. “Is it dangerous?”

“No,” you stumbled over a reply that wouldn’t make the situation incredibly awkward. “It’s when you, uh, want kids.”

“Oh,” Hinata shrugged, bouncing his finger to play with Sayori’s hand. “What’s wrong with eventually wanting kids?”

“That’s not-”

“No, it means you want a kid now.” Tanaka emphasized by smacking the hospital bed. “Like, go home immediately and make a baby level now.”

Hinata blinked a few times before his face lit up red, “oh.”

You nodded awkwardly and both of you remained quiet while Shimizu chastised Tanaka in the background. One of you should probably deny the baby fever thing… right? You glanced over to Hinata, but his eyebrows were furrowed as he stared intently at Sayori.

“Okay, Sayori needs to eat soon, so I’m kicking Hinata out.” Tanaka announced.

Hinata didn’t put up any fights and you passed Sayori back to Shimizu, making plans to see each other again soon. You offered your services for future babysitting with Hinata’s vigorous agreeing behind you and they were more than grateful for it. Regardless Tanaka shooed you out when Sayori began wriggling in Shimizu’s arms.

As you and Hinata made your way to the metro that would bring you to your apartment complex the air between you was heavy. An obvious awkwardness that was harder to ignore the longer you walked together.

“I’m not surprised their baby ended up looking so cute,” you laughed, filling the space with nervous chatter. “Shimizu is really pretty.”

He nodded, looking up at the cloudless sky thoughtfully. “Do you think our baby would be cute?”

Your heart rate quickened at the idea. It wasn’t like you’d never thought of it, but talking about it outloud was a completely different monster. “I think it would have pretty great genes.”

He nodded, furrowing his brow at the sidewalk ahead.

Hinata wasn’t an idiot. Neither of you were ready for something like that. Several nights ago you’d decided to get drunk and attempt making meat buns-you’d nearly set the kitchen on fire. That doesn’t scream parent material.

On a larger scale, Hinata had just been selected for Japan’s Olympic team. There just wasn’t time for something like that. No, a baby wasn’t realistic.

However...

“What’s our apartment’s pet policy?”

He turned to you with a raised brow, “probably an extra fee and a weight limit. Why?”

You smirked mischievously at him, “want to get a dog?”

His jaw dropped. “Oh my fu-can I name it?”

“Only if I get to pick the breed.”

“Well then, what are you waiting for?” Hinata grasped your hand and yanked you toward the closest metro station. “Look up the closest pet store and let’s go!”

You chuckled, allowing him to pull you toward a random station that probably wouldn’t lead you where you needed. It would work out in the end. Things always seemed to fall perfectly into place with HInata.

*******************************************************************************************

Hinata glared across the roll of wrapping paper at the small puppy crushing the end of the tube, tearing edges of red and white striped paper with its sharp teeth. Hinata tugged it out of the pup’s mouth, but that only encouraged the behavior as it leapt forward to chew with more vigor.

“Can you grab your son?” Hinata waved the roll around, letting the Shiba Inu chase the end that Hinata held just out of reach. “He’s making this more difficult than it needs to be.”

You paused your typing at the dining table and giggled at Hinata’s antics. After closing the laptop you jogged over to scoop the puppy up, flipping him over in your arms to rub its belly. The puppy let its tongue hang out and wagged its tail vigorously at the attention.

“Oh, Deku, are you giving your dad a hard time,” you cooed down at the puppy, lifting him to look him in the eyes with a furrowed brow. “That’s not very nice.”

Hinata rolled his eyes fondly at your pathetic attempt of scolding while Deku licked you on the nose. Just several months old and he already knew how to manipulate people with his cuteness.

“I bought our bullet train tickets,” you said while nudging him the roll of tape he’d started looking around for. “Natsu called me earlier. We decided that you and I should get there around 3.”

Hinata tore a piece of tape off with his teeth while he held the wrapping paper still around the boxed pair of rollerskates with his foot.

“We have to stop by Tanaka’s place before we head out,” Hinata wrinkled his nose at his poor wrapping job. “Noya’s visiting for a while and he wants to meet Deku.”

“Of course,” you smiled as you held a chew toy above Deku’s face so he could nibble on it in your lap. “We have some presents for Sayori, anyway.”

Oh yeah. You had split the present wrapping in terms of difficulty, so you had the pleasure of wrapping weirdly shaped toys while he was left with boxes. Somehow, his still turned out to be a disaster.

He could hear Natsu’s complaints already.

“The train doesn’t leave till one, so we should have plenty of time.” You stated once Hinata taped the final present, completing his small present tower. Deku wriggled himself free from your grip and immediately attacked the empty wrapping paper roll.

Hinata smiled absentmindedly as he watched Deku hold the tube still with his small paws as he gnawed the cardboard. He felt you crawl over, lying your head onto his lap as your eyes followed his to watch your dog-son together. He felt at peace, running his fingers through your hair while Deku wreaked mischief nearby.

He felt like he could never get happier than this, and he never wanted it to end.

“He really is a troublemaker,” you snorted as Deku dragged the tube across the living room proudly. “Gets it from you.”

Hinata rolled his eyes and pinched your cheek. “It’s because you let him do whatever he wants.”

“Do not!”

He chuckled, taking his time tracing your features. The curve of your cheekbones, the dip of your lips, the bridge of your nose-everything he’d kissed into his memory by now but still couldn’t get enough of.

Hinata’s heart burned bright as he ran his knuckles along your cheek, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” You smiled softly, leaning subconsciously into his touch.

“I mean… I really love you, (Y/N).” Hinata grabbed your hand and brought it to his lips. “I think this is it.”

You met his stare for several moments before your cheeks reddened. “Oh.”

Hinata nodded, pressing a loving kiss to the back of your hand. “I just-I always want you with me and if it’s not you in the end then… then what’s the point?”

Your mouth fell slightly open and he felt your hand flex in his grasp. He assumed he made a mistake-said too much too fast-but his chest was so warm and full and it was hard to reign in his emotions when he got that way.

A smile blossomed across your face and it eased his anxieties when you held his cheek. “You’re it for me too, Sho.”

He blinked several times as the words rolled over in his mind. “Wha-really?” He twisted himself so he could look you in the eyes, begging for you to be telling the truth.

You nodded shyly, your face crimson. “Yeah. You have been. I’m not… I don’t think I’d be able to love anyone else ever again.”

It felt like he’d been hit by a train at your confession and he pressed his mouth against yours before he’d even processed the statement. Your content hum against his lips was enough to drive him insane.

“Well, I’m going to love you forever.” Hinata promised with a dopey smile. “So don’t even think about that.”

You snorted, but nodded anyway. Hinata glanced down at your lips again with hooded eyes and started leaning forward, but was rudely interrupted by a damp cardboard tube hitting his forehead.

He glanced up exhaustedly at the Shiba Inu puppy panting obliviously at the both of you, waiting patiently for the love and attention he knew he deserved. You pushed Hinata off to grab Deku, but he jumped into a play bow and jolted back when you reached for him.

Hinata smiled dazedly as you chased Deku around the apartment, juking around furniture to attempt to throw the puppy off-course. He had never felt so complete than he had in that moment because he realized that this was it for him.

It was you. It was him. It was a troublemaker dog. And it was a promise that you’d be together forever.

And that was pretty damn perfect.

[blvejeanbaby]

My Mandu Man | Jung Yunho

Pairing: Yunho x reader, brief Seonghwa x reader Word count: 4.5k Warnings: mentions of sex, that’s all Summary: Seonghwa and y/n love to kiss while drunk, for some harmless fun, but Yunho gets jealous.

You were never the life of the party, not even when only surrounded by your best friends. You were always smiling and laughing and having fun, yes, but that was different than being the life of the party. The one to earn that title tonight was Wooyoung, who was even more hyper than he usually was and even more loud too. You looked at him as he bounced around the room, singing, dancing and drinking. You chuckled as he nearly slipped and fell, grabbing Hongjoong around the neck, who toppled over instantly because of the suddenly added weight.

“Is that funny to you?” Seonghwa sat down next to you on the floor, backs against the wall, and handed you the drink he had promised he would get you. “My friends hurting themselves?”

You rolled your eyes at him, taking the drink from his hands. “You’re right. I should probably get some water into Wooyoung so he won’t have a massive hangover tomorrow. And then I should tuck him into bed so he can’t hurt himself or Hongjoong again.”

Seonghwa laughed sarcastically. “Oh, you’re so funny, Y/N.” He took a sip from his drink. “You know, I’m kind of over this now.”

“What? Over your drink? I’ll gladly take it.” You stuck out your hand to him, but he quickly pulled his away. He was too fast, making the contents of the cup slosh over his hands.

He groaned, wiping his wet hand on his white shirt, leaving behind stains that he was too drunk to care about. “Over the party! I’m tired.” To illustrate how tired he was, he laid his head on your shoulder, closing his eyes.

You took your free hand and lightly patted his head. Seonghwa didn’t pull his head away, though, so you took use of the opportunity to thread your fingers through his hair. There was always this urge inside of you to do so, but when sober or awake enough, he would always be too careful. Your eyes scanned the room, trying to locate Wooyoung again. He was dancing with Yeosang in the middle of the room, who, despite the alcohol you had seen him consume, was still a little shy over the sexy moves Wooyoung whipped out. When your eyes travelled further across the room, you spotted Yunho. He was standing directly opposite you, lips attached to his cup but eyes focused on you.

You had caught him staring at you all throughout the night already. The first time was when you arrived at the door with your two best friends. Your one friend was dressed in a shirt that showed off her boobs, the other in shorts and knee high latex boots which were reminiscent of a dirty fantasy, both of which had instantly grabbed Mingi’s attention. But Yunho, who popped up behind Mingi in the hallway as if he had been wanting to answer the door instead, only had eyes for you and your simple velvet wrap top.

You smiled at Yunho, who smiled back widely. You were about to motion him to come over, but then Seonghwa’s head popped up again. Your attention was instantly pulled to him as he said: “You know what would make this party fun again? Your lips on mine.”

You laughed and set your drink down. “I’m starting to think that the only reason you offered me a drink was so you could get me to kiss you.”

“It’s been a while, don’t you think?”

You had to admit that he was right. Seonghwa and you were just best friends, nothing more than that. You could tell each other everything and were each others’ wingman if needed. You would give each other advice on friendships and relationships alike. About a year ago now, you two had drunkenly made out at a New Year’s Eve party, right at 12 AM. It had lead everyone to believe you were a couple, but even after you had spent a lot of time trying to convince everyone that wasn’t the case, you had not ceased to kiss each other. In fact, every opportunity you two got at parties - that is: whenever you two weren’t preoccupied with other people - your lips were locked together.

It was perfect, really. There were no feelings involved and you had long ago agreed to never have sex, so it wasn’t even really a friends with benefits situation. Or, maybe it was, considering kissing Seonghwa wasn’t exactly a punishment.

“You make it so romantic,” you said, wrapping your arms around Seonghwa’s neck. “I don’t know why I keep doing this.”

Seonghwa didn’t answer, instead placing a hand on your cheek to bring your lips closer to his. The kiss was sloppy, sloppier than usual. It truly showed how much Seonghwa had had to drink throughout the night, but you weren’t complaining. It was a nice change to how he usually kissed, which was a bit more held back, as though he was afraid to catch feelings.

What you didn’t know, as you were happily going up in the kiss, was that Yunho had now crumpled up his plastic cup and cast it aside, because he - in sharp contrast to you and Seonghwa - was not liking the amount of kissing you two were doing. He was one of the few of 50 people who had witnessed you and Seonghwa kiss for the first time on New Year’s Eve. He had been standing on the side of the room, near the door, arm slung around Hongjoong’s shoulders to wish him a happy new year, when his eyes had found you and Seonghwa in the middle of the crowd. You had been talking a lot all evening, nothing out of the ordinary, and then suddenly -

Yunho had been nailed to the ground, watching his crush make out with one of his closest friends. He had to be shaken out of his trance by Hongjoong, who hadn’t noticed anything out of the ordinary, and was now handing him a flute of champagne. Yunho chugged the drink at once before finding himself something stronger.

He knew he had no real right to be upset. He didn’t have a claim to you, hadn’t ever properly expressed his feelings toward you to anyone. But that was the problem; he had feelings for you. If he had ever doubted it before, he did not now.

Yunho had been watching you all night long, sure that tonight was going to be the night he was confessing to you. But there was never a good opportunity to get you alone and besides, the longer the night went on, the drunker you both became. And even though Yunho was well aware that he was drunk, he remembered that he wanted to tell you when you were both sober, or tipsy at the most. Tonight was not the night.

You let go of Seonghwa, giggling as he tried to chase your lips. “You are so drunk,” you said, running a hand through his hair again.

“Drunk and horny,” he mumbled before kissing you again.

You allowed him to pull you closer until you were on his lap. It wasn’t a very comfortable position, with your knees on the hard floor. Seonghwa deepened the kiss, you felt his hands wander to your ass and - “Stop, stop,” you said, pulling back. “Remember what we promised?”

“No sex,” Seonghwa groaned, leaning his head back against the wall with his eyes closed. “Fuck, Y/N, I hate that rule.”

You laughed, placing a last kiss on his lips before moving off of him. “There are so many girls at this party that would want to have sex with you. Go seek them out.”

“Who do you suggest?” Seonghwa opened his eyes and looked around the room. “That one? What’s her name? Haseul?”

“Yes,” you said. “She’s been with Jongho before, but it was a one night stand. Or do you not want sloppy seconds?”

“She could never be a sloppy second.” Seonghwa stood up, taking his drink with him. He blew you a kiss before walking off in Haseul’s direction, leaving you on the floor by yourself. You chuckled as you watched him approach Haseul, who was happy to talk to him. You knew she had once had a crush on him. Even if she didn’t anymore, she would probably find him attractive enough for a one night stand.

You sat for a while by yourself until you thought you probably looked pathetic and got up, in search for better company. You eventually found San and Yunho in the kitchen, on end of a beerpong table. They were playing against two boys you had never met before. You waited until the game was finished before you went up to San and Yunho and wrapped your arms around both of them at the same time. “Anyone up for a game against me?”

“I’ll do it,” San said.

“No, I will.” Yunho exchanged a glance with San, one you didn’t notice.

“I’ll be referee then,” San said, understanding the look at once. He quickly started rearranging the cups on the table, adding beer to them again.

“Us against each other?” you looked up at Yunho excitedly. “What does the winner get?”

Yunho didn’t have to think about this for even a minute. “The loser pays for the next movie night.”

“Fine,” you said, before getting in place at the other end of the table. Movie night was a big deal for all eight boys and they often invited you and your two best friends to come as well. You usually split all costs between all eleven of you, so paying for everyone by yourself would be quite the expense. But you weren’t one to back down from a challenge.

There were ten cups, placed in a triangle and filled halfway with beer. The previous teams had all been 2-vs-2, played with two balls total, but San took out one ball considering it was now just you-vs-Yunho. “Good luck,” San said, handing you the remaining ball.

Even though you usually relied on a partner to make the shots, you would sometimes get lucky. That was not the case on your first throw, however. It would take you six throws to finally get one ball in, and by then Yunho had already managed to put two balls into your cups. You lined the empty cups on the side of the table before taking your position and throwing the ball. Finally, you managed to make it into the front cup.

Slowly but surely the cups in the triangle disappeared until you only had one cup left, while Yunho had two. Even though you ought to give up now and no longer have hope, you tried every last bit to distract Yunho, hoping to make him throw badly. For a second you thought it had worked but then -

“I won!” Yunho’s smile lit up the entire room and you found yourself biting your lip as you took the ball out of the cup. You couldn’t even be mad at him winning, his reaction was too adorable. He touched knuckles with San and then watched you down your beer before coming over to your side of the table. “So when is our movie night?”

“Our movie night?” You looked up at him confused. Was it the copious amounts of alcohol you had consumed tonight that made your brain fuzzy enough to misunderstand? Or had you heard perfectly fine?

“Yes,” Yunho said. “Just the two of us.”

That changes things. You nodded. “Okay. Well... how about we meet on Saturday?”

Saturday was fine with him, so you found yourself anxiously making your way over to Yunho’s dorms. He shared it with San and Hongjoong. You had wondered whether they would be at the house that evening, but while you were out at a café with Seonghwa, you had checked the boys’ group chat via his phone and found out that the boys were both going to be at Seonghwa’s place instead.

“Why did you guys all say no to movie night and then hang out at your place?” you asked him, your head spinning with all of the dots floating around that you didn’t seem to be able to connect.

Seonghwa shrugged, downing the last of his iced americano. “Yunho just said you two had made a bet and you lost. So we’re going out to Sinkhole tonight.”

“Sinkhole?” You had to laugh at that. Everyone in Seoul knew the club’s reputation; your friends did too. “So it’s that kind of a night?”

Seonghwa shrugged. “You won’t be missing out on much. You enjoy being with Yunho, don’t you?”

His words seemed to have a second layer to them and you didn’t want to spend time unpacking that. You made your way over to Yunho, San and Hongjoong’s apartment around 7 PM, hauling takeout and snacks with you. San and Hongjoong were just getting ready to leave when you arrived. “Y/N!” San said excitedly. He peeked into the takeout bag and licked his lips. “Ah, dakkochi! You know how to make my heart flutter.”

“It’s not for you.” You pulled the bag out of his reach and kicked off your shoes. “It’s not just your favourite.” You made eye contact with Yunho, who had come out of his room at the sound of your voice. You smiled widely and adopted the best aegyo voice you could muster. “Oppa, I brought you dakkochi! Now, are you going to make me the mandu you know I like?”

You ignored the expressions on San and Hongjoong’s faces - their jaws had gone slack, their mouths making an o-shape, as well as their eyes bulging out of their heads - knowing they were surprised by your aegyo. You hated the idea of purposely acting like a child if you didn’t have to, but you knew the effect it would have on Yunho. Bright red dots appeared on his cheeks; you saw a muscle in his face twitch before a smile appeared and he nodded.

“Yay!” You shot into the slippers that actually belonged to San; he had the smallest feet out of the three boys, meaning you could reasonably fit them. He didn’t comment on it, as he normally would, instead staring at you as you followed Yunho into the kitchen.

“I can’t believe it,” San whispered to Hongjoong as they zipped up their coats and stepped outside. “Y/N never does aegyo. She hates it! What is going on?”

“I think I get it,” Hongjoong said. He grabbed San's arm and gave him a push toward the elevators. "Let’s go.”

You waited until you heard the door shut before you gave Yunho a quick hug. It wasn’t usual for you to hug any of your male friends. You only gave into Seonghwa sometimes, because he could be a big teddybear if he wanted to be, but he was in many ways like your actual brother, obviously except for the drunk making out. But with Yunho, it was different.

“Thank you,” you said to him. He had already taken out the deep fryer and was now rummaging in his freezer for the frozen mandu. It was of a particular brand that you couldn’t find in any of the convenience stores in the area surrounding your apartment, and even if they had sold it near you, you didn’t have a deep fryer to prepare them the way Yunho does. He had made it for you a handful of times before, but this time you thought you’d treat him with dakkochi in exchange for it. “I know it takes a bit of time to heat up and all.”

“It’s okay,” Yunho said. “I don’t mind if we start the movie up a bit later.”

You nodded. “Let’s have the chicken before it gets cold,” you said. You started unpacking the takeout.

By the time you had finished the bulk of it, the oil was hot enough to fry the mandu in. You stayed by Yunho’s side as he fried the dumplings. You were still hungry, but you found yourself thinking that you could wait forever on these fricking dumplings if it meant you could look at Yunho the way he was right now. His face was slightly sweaty from the heat of the fryer and he was wearing a cringy apron that said ‘Kiss the cook.’ Hm, I might...

“What?”

“What?” You looked up, startled.

“What did you say?”

Suddenly you realized; you had spoken out loud. “Oh, nothing.” You quickly averted your gaze. “What movie do you want to watch? I’ll go ahead and set it up.”

You decided to watch a comedy film, but one that included some romance as well “because I know you like that,” Yunho said. You were just glad to have an excuse to leave the kitchen. You were confused by your own thoughts. Yes, you had a soft spot for Yunho, if that wasn’t clear by now. You had wondered many times about what it would be like to have a closer relationship with him. It didn’t have to be sexual or romantic, you had told yourself many times. You just wanted to get to know his personality...

But as you set up the TV and prepared the boys’ living room for you and Yunho’s movie night, you couldn’t help but wonder if perhaps there wasn’t more to this. You would never do aegyo for anyone; no matter how badly you wanted something from Seonghwa, you would never resort to that. You didn’t get why couples wanted to match, but when you and Yunho had accidentally worn complimenting outfits to dinner with your friend group one time, and Wooyoung had teased you, you had found yourself wishing that there was something to be teased about.

Yunho turned off the fryer. He had seen you staring at him for a while, eyes drifting down to the silly apron he was wearing. It was a gift for Hongjoong from a few years back, before they had moved in together. Now, Yunho was the only one wearing it on a regular basis. The green frog with the golden crown, the white letters saying ‘Kiss the cook’... Your eyes were glued to the letters when you said: “Hm, I might.” Yunho had heard it quite clearly, had seen your lips move as you said it. And then he also saw your panic.

You had collected yourself by the time Yunho came into the living room with the mandu on a plate. He also brought the bag of snacks and drinks and the remainders of your shared dinner to have with the side dish. “Ready?” he asked, before pressing play on the movie.

It started. It was not even that good, you had to admit. But nonetheless, you didn’t dare take your attention away from it, afraid your only other option was to start wondering if Yunho had actually heard what you said, if he knew what it meant... You sneaked a glance at him, right at a funny bit of the movie. Yunho laughed, and as he did, your heart contracted. What did he have to be so cute for?

You couldn’t rely on the buzz of alcohol now...

You also couldn’t say that you had actually watched the movie. You had been too preoccupied with your own thoughts, the food and Yunho, and then you had missed the ending because you fell asleep. You were startled from your sleep by Yunho, who was gently shaking you awake. “Good morning,” he said, smiling. “Do you want to sleep in my bed, instead of on the couch?”

For a second you thought you had heard him wrong and it was your sleep riddled brain playing tricks on you. But when he repeated his question, you couldn’t deny it. “Are you trying to get me into bed, oppa?” You let your voice raise in pitch at the term, knowing it would make him blush again. The combination of your puffy, sleepy face, the implication behind your words and its contrast with the innocence in your tone of voice, made Yunho feel shy. “I’m just joking,” you said. “Is it really morning? I should head home.”

“It’s late,” he said, quickly recovering. “The underground is out of service for another four hours at least. I thought maybe you’d like to sleep more comfortably.”

“Alright.” You nodded. “Let me freshen up a little.”

As you left for the bathroom, Yunho felt his heart thump wildly in his chest. He would do anything for you, really. If you had asked him to walk you home, he would’ve done it within a heartbeat, even if you lived halfway across Seoul. He knew he was treading dangerous waters now, especially now. Really, he ought to have had woken you up in time for you to catch the last train, but he was selfish. Yunho didn’t know when he would get you to himself again and he knew he would regret not doing anything now that he had the chance. Before Seonghwa actually managed in stealing you away from him. Or before anyone else could.

When you emerged from the bathroom, Yunho was waiting outside, leaned against the wall opposite. “If you don’t mind, I’ll sleep in the room with you. I’d rather be on my air mattress than on the couch for when San and Hongjoong come back from clubbing,” he said.

“Sure.” There was nothing wrong with sharing the same room, right? No, you decided. You helped Yunho get his air mattress and sleeping bag from the messy cupboard in the hallway and went to his room next. It was very tidy, almost as if he had planned to show it to someone. The only thing that was untidy, was his desk. It was obvious he had been sitting at it before you arrived, doing assignments for college. “Oh, you were studying earlier?” You sauntered over to the desk, examining the complicated mathematical formulas.

“Attempting to,” he said, spreading out his air mattress on the floor next to his bed, blocking him from opening his closet doors. The room was small, as was expected from a bedroom in Seoul, but it offered just enough space for him. “The module is quite hard.”

“I wish I could help you,” you said, turning back to look at Yunho as he spread out his sleeping bag on top of the mattress. “But I’m rubbish at anything mathematical or scientific. You know that.”

“I do.” Yunho smiled at you, sitting down on his makeshift bed. “But thanks for the offer anyway.” For a moment it was silent, then he patted his actual bed. “Come on, you can head in. You must be tired.”

“No,” you said, surprising even yourself. “I have never felt more awake, actually.” You sank down onto his air mattress. “Are you sure you’re going to be comfortable on the floor?”

“Better than the couch,” he said. “I will be fine. Promise.” He didn’t add that it would only be better because he would be able to be so close to you.

“I don’t believe you.” You leaned your back against Yunho’s bed behind you. “But alright. Thanks, by the way. For letting me stay here. And for the mandu.” You winked.

Yunho’s smile widened. “You know, I don’t do this for just anyone.”

“That, I can believe.” You smiled at him. And that’s when you thought: wait... “So, now that we’re both still up at this hour... maybe we can talk about something a bit more intimate?”

Yunho’s heart beat erratically at your words. “Intimate?”

“Yes,” you said, thoughtfully. “I mean, like...” Now it was your turn to be shy. “...relationships and such? Are you dating anyone at the moment?”

“No.” He spoke fast, too fast. “How about you? I’ve noticed you and Seonghwa...?”

He refused to look at you, but you didn’t know because you refused to look at him. “Seonghwa and I are just friends. I wouldn’t want to date him, he’s... difficult.”

“Difficult?”

“Yes. And I already like someone else,” you said. This was the first time you admitted it out loud, and as soon as you said it, your heart beat so loudly, you were sure Yunho would be able to tell and figure out exactly who it was you were in love with. But even though that would probably be your worst nightmare, it was also a scenario that you would welcome. It was much easier for him to connect the dots, than it was for you to come to a conclusion on what to do. You had your suspicions, though...

“Are you going to tell me who?” Yunho asked. He licked at his dry lips, sure he would have his heart stomped on by you right at this moment.

“I can give you a hint? You can guess?” You felt like a middle schooler. But perhaps middle schoolers were right in this department. Just beat around the bush, why don’t you, Y/N? your mind spoke to you angrily.

“Mmkay,” Yunho said.

He sounded unsure. “Well... He makes great mandu, like you. You know that’s my favourite side dish.” You sneaked a glance at Yunho. He was playing with the zipper of his sleeping bag, avoiding your eyes. “I liked it when he dyed his hair blonde, because he looked like a prince. He’s very tall and lately, he’s been getting quite muscular too. I don’t think he noticed me noticing that...”

Was he getting it? Ugh, you felt like you were 12 years old all over again! Why was confessing so hard?

“He uhm...” you continued, when Yunho didn’t answer, “He also has a really sweet personality. People often say he’s like a puppy. But what I really like about him, is how funny he is. Sometimes he doesn’t even try. But he can also be really serious and thoughtful. And he’s really patient, he lives with one of the most annoying people I’ve ever met in my life. Besides Wooyoung.”

You noticed you had slipped up the second you said his name. You looked up in panic. Yunho had also looked up at the sound of Wooyoung’s name. You often complained San and Wooyoung were the most annoying pair of boys you had ever met, even though you loved them dearly. It only dawned on Yunho then. All of those descriptions... He should’ve known the second you mentioned the dumplings. “Y-you like me?” He couldn’t keep the tremble out of his voice.

“I, uhm-” You were about to say that you guessed so, but really, you were more sure of yourself now than ever before. “Yes. I do.”

“Good,” Yunho said. He scooted closer to you. “Because I like you too. And it was torture, having to watch you and Seonghwa kiss over the past year. Torture.”

“Why did you never say anything?”

“Why did you never say anything?”

He had a fair point.

“Well, now that you know,” you said, “what are you going to do about it?”

Yunho smiled. “Something I have always wanted to do.”

[channiebbang]

[17:23]

everything felt like a fuzzy dream. the joking banters, the funny texts, the innocent teasing, the jokes thrown here and there, the gradual comfort they were building around each other, it was small but noticeable to her.

maybe she noticed the way she started relaxing around him because she spent so much time keeping her guard up that letting loose in so long felt almost easing, like a cold shower on a warm sunny day.

she was so lost in the way he messed around with her, that she forgot about the bigger, impending, truth that may lay behind his action. that or she simply didn't know until someone opened her eyes for her.

since they met five months prior, they always had a cat and mouse kind of relationship, much like the one she had with everyone else in the friend group. she had always kept her guard up around people, new and old alike, always careful to not let them in too much, to not say too much about her life. the fear of not being able to trust anyone fully way too big. and after the only person she could ever trust wholly, broke up with her, that thought only reinforced itself. because she knew she would never be able to trust anyone as much as she trusted her last lover. so when they broke up a few months before she started being comfortable around minho, she decided she didn't want to let anyone know. for she didn't want anyone to think she was what people called "fresh on the market".

she didn't know when she started loosening up around him. maybe it started when after all the play fighting on the field, that one day they had a group picnic, she started her period right before they left for home and her cramps hit her. and as she tried helping everyone carry the remnants of what was left of their belongings, he had fallen in step with her and with already a bag in each hand he had softly taken the heavy water case from her hand muttering a "here, give it to me," and she had protested that she could carry it only for him to scold her, "good for you, now give that here. you're already in pain."

or maybe it was when she went to that birthday party and he insisted her drink a few sips from his glass because, "i didn't mix too much vodka, it's almost all sprite," he had muttered just so their friends would stop bothering her and she would be able to have fun.

or again, maybe it was when he invited her, felix and moonbin to his house for dinner with his mother. they had stayed at his place until almost 2am and they had fun writing funny things on the white board in his room and taking polaroids, and when the picture developed he had cackled loudly and, "i cannot believe this! your dress looks like we're wearing matching pajamas," he had pointed out.

or maybe it was when the same night he had jokingly given her a Yu Gi Oh card and told her to put it in her clear phone case, saying something about "the monster's lips look like it's blowing someone off, and you're good at that, right?" and she had promptly thrown a few punches and kicks while he laughed loudly and taken her phone to put the card on top of her photocard, saying a "do not change it."

or once more, maybe when he would promptly check every time they met after if she had changed the card and once he saw that she indeed did he would wrestle her to jokingly tell her he would throw away the photocard once he gets his hands on it.

and the fact he made her download a texting app when he deactivated on all social media because of his studies just to text non stop didn't exactly help her.

or how when he asked advice on skincare, she had suggested about a cleanser she couldn't find anywhere but was insanely good for her, he had come over the next day with the cleanser in hand. when she told him "ayy you got it!" thinking he had bought it on his way to her place, he had said, "that's for you, i bought two." and when she said he didn't need to he said, "it's okay, you said you couldn't find it anywhere, so," and he had shrugged his shoulders like nothing.

it was always the small things.

and maybe it was the day he was sharing with her and felix about his rocky again off again relationship that she thought that maybe she could tell him that she had broken up with her lover. and so she had signed subtly to felix if she should say something about her private life when they made a deal of all three saying something about their love life because minho didn't want to be the only one to share stuff. but felix shook his head and trusting her childhood friend blindly she had said nothing.

nothing until a week after he texted her asking if she woke up early in the morning to talk to her long distance boyfriend, and she had thought she had avoided the question when she said something about her waking up late everyday. later, when she had told that to felix laughing, he had chuckled and told her, "don't tell him, he'll tell moonbin right away."

moonbin. moonbin was the truth she had forgotten.

moonbin, a close friend, who happened to have a crush on her. her, when everyone knew she was taken. her, when all she wanted was to be friends with everyone. moonbin, who had just gone through a messy break up from a relationship he still wasn't over, claimed he liked her.

and the day she found out she couldn't lie and say she was surprised nor was that she thrilled. and moonbin's every nice action made her feel like he did it because he had ulterior reasons and as much as felix told her he was just that nice to everyone, she didn't like the unsettling feeling in her bones. because she didn't want people spending money on her just to hold it over them. she hated the feeling of being indebted to people.

and somehow the fact that moonbin had told everyone around the friend circle about his crush on her didn't sit well with her. she hated the feeling of everyone knowing what goes on behind all of his teasing and possibly teasing her about it or the nightmare that was shipping. she absolutely hated all that, finding the act of shipping and teasing to be childish. she liked her life to be private, her romantic life more than every other aspect, and sadly moonbin wasn't like that.

and the other big thing was that she had no feelings for moonbin, and to a certain extent she didn't have any feeling for minho either. the only thing she knew was that minho, unlike moonbin, made her feel like she could talk to him without fearing him discussing her problems with anyone else. or maybe she just didn't know him that well, but she couldn't deny the comforting feeling he carried around, like he would listen to anyone sharing their problems with him. which she knew she wasn't the only one feeling that way.

and as she sat on the floor of her room that morning with felix, she felt her walls slowly going up again between her and minho. and her mind started getting clouded again by questions she didn't, nor she would ever have answers to.

did he try to warm up to me to wingman moonbin? did he just want to find out about my relationship status to tell moonbin?

did he not want to be my friend just because, maybe, he liked my personality?

was this all it was about?

and the ever persistent reason why she never could open up to anyone came back. the constant feeling of not being worth of friends with came back. nobody would want to be friends without any other motive. and the thought brought back all the other bad feelings she had slowly learned to overcome slowly.

so she told herself that she needed to close off again. she needed to be like before. unknown, but someone that was important to keep around because she was childhood friends with felix.

so that day, when minho texted her, she didn't reply as fast as she usually would, and she decided she wouldn't get any closer anymore.

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas]

OOH can we see how Kohga would react to Mipha asking for relationship advice? Since she’d see how devoted and passionate Sooga is for his Master, and not really anyone else in their group is in a relationship soooo

I’m just obsessed with him just adoring Mipha and trying his ass off to get her and Link together it’s so cute

One, thank you for recognizing the fact that Kohga playing Mipha’s wingman is possibly the best idea I’ve EVER had. Two, I am SO ready to start this absolute soft shit. Smut is fun and all, but come on, Kohga trying to hook bitches up is amazing. And third, this got waay out of hand, so enjoy some double dates here.

“So, did you get me something?”

Sooga hardly left Master Kohga’s side. Whenever he had to, be it to lend a hand elsewhere; he had TWO rules to follow; come home to him at the end of the day, and bring him something. Kohga had been sitting here, having tea with Mipha, while Sooga offered to help Sidon hunt for sneaky river snails (Sooga had a real knack for knowing where to find them). They came back with quite the haul, so the fact that he managed to get anything else was nothing to scoff at. He put the large bag of fish down on the floor, and from his pockets, produced a small cage. Inside the cage was what appeared to be a winterwing butterfly. Kohga clapped his hands together, clearly loving it.

“Ooh, I’ve been looking for one of these!”

“I know. It was why I had to stop in the middle of fishing to catch it for you. I may have let Sidon fall in the water in my haste. Maybe.”

Mipha cocked her head to the side upon seeing his reaction to the small bug.

“You like bugs?”

“Just the butterflies. I only keep them for a day or two before I let them go, I just think they’re neat.”

Kohga took a hold of Sooga’s chin, grinning from ear to ear.

“And SOMEONE seemed to remember me saying I wanted this specific one. You’re such a sap, Sooga.”

Sooga was trying (and failing) not to smile.

“I listen to EVERY word you say, master Kohga.”

“Ugh, you’re being mushy again. Get outta my face, go help shark boy with the fish.”

Kohga tried to look mean as he gently pushed his face away, but it was plainly obvious; Kohga loved him. Sooga pardoned himself, hoisted the bag over his shoulder, and walked off with Sidon. Mipha took a sip of her tea, watching as Kohga lightly shook his head. She knew it was a bad emotion to feel, but she couldn’t resist feeling a bit jealous. They were so happy with one another, and yet, her own love and affections were clearly not recognized by the one boy she loved, more than anything. Perhaps…

“Kohga? Can I ask something?”

“Whatever you want.”

Kohga stopped ogling his boyfriend for a second and gave her his attention, snacking on the cookies she made, just for him (shaped in just the cutest seashells). She squirmed a bit in her seat, unsure of how to go about it, before she finally came out with it.

“How...did you get someone to love you, the way Sooga does?”

Kohga stopped eating for a second, looking at her sullen face. This little fish was just sweeter than banana bread, and it hurt poor ol’ Kohga to see her love so much, without Goldilocks even talking about it with her. Sure they were young, and they had forever to talk about this stuff, but there was no time like the present.

“Sooga is a fucking idiot, for one, and I attract idiots. Second, you kinda just. Come out with it. We started off as friends before anything, and that’s now all relationships start. Course, your case is a BIT different from mine. You want my honest opinion? Just shoot your shot. I mean, worst he’s gonna say is no. Or nothing with his mute ass…”

Kohga mumbled that last part, helping himself to another sip of tea. Realizing it didn’t seem to be very helpful, he sighed.

“Or, you could cook him something. Call me old fashioned, but my mama always said the quickest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. I make mean salmon skin, look at the hunk I bagged.”

They both turned to look at Sooga, who was busy de shelling the fish alongside Sidon. Mipha pursed her little lips, before softly nodding.

“I...suppose that isn’t a bad idea at all. If I can find the courage in my heart to ask him.”

Just then, Kohga noticed Link walking alongside the princess. Small land, honestly. Kohga put his hands to the side of his face, crying out to Link.

“Yo Goldilocks! Mipha’s cookin’ tonight, you want in?!”

Link nodded, giving a thumbs up. Kohga shrugged.

“See? Easy. You just gotta be straightforward with boys.”

Mipha held her face in her hands, obviously embarrassed.

“But what do I do WHEN I make him something?! What do I say? What do I talk about with him?”

Kohga loved Mipha, really he did, but girl needed to stop seeing boys as a lynel, and more along the lines of wild horses. Something to tame, not to fear. He sighed.

“Tell you what. Me and Sooga will join you, sorta like a double date kinda deal. I’ll be there if the date goes bad, and we can dip when the date is going GOOD.”

Mipha looked up from the table with just the softest eyes you’ve ever seen.

“You...would do that, for me?”

“Course, lil red! You’re like, my favorite in the little team of goody two shoes. Plus, free eats, can’t complain-”

She suddenly got out of her seat, and nearly pounced on him for a hug. The things he did for love.

--------------------------------------------

“He here yet?”

“Not quite, but I’m just about done!”

Kohga came back a while later, alongside Sooga. Kohga had his own men helping her in the kitchen, setting up the dining room, everything she could need, Kohga helped with. Kohga scoffed as he put his gift on the dining room table (he’d be remiss if he didn’t bring something to drink for the occasion), lightly pulling up one of her fins, and scoffing.

“Okay, let the boys finish up. Sooga, get to work on this girl, she needs to focus on being as pretty as a fresh stack of banana pancakes.”

Sooga nodded, prompting Mipha to follow him to her bedroom. Kohga was about to see just what she was cooking, before the main doors flew open. Link. Aka, Goldilocks, aka, the guy that never fucking knocked. He was wearing the classic gerudo outfit. A real tits out look, and honestly Kohga would jump on that in a heartbeat.

“Goldilocks! Bit early! How you doing? Mipha will be ready in just a second, take a seat, lemme get you a drink!”

Link nodded. Kohga chatted him up for a minute, serving him a nice glass of banana wine (it’s actually VERY good). When he caught the eyes of Sooga, he pardoned himself and dipped into the hallway. He took one gander at Mipha, and gave a whistle.

“Girl look at YOU! Lookin’ prettier than a pack of opals!”

She really did look like a beauty. Freshly touched lipstick, sharpened nails, her silver jewelry replaced with gold, and instead of her usual blue sash, Sooga somehow managed to find time to make a blue, see through looking dress for her. It fit around her body snugly, but it was a loose, comfortable material, perfect for fashion, and function. Sooga was so talented, getting that together so quickly. Kohga nodded towards Link.

“Go keep him busy, gotta give this girl a pep talk.”

Sooga nodded. Once he left, Kohga carefully put his hands on her shoulders.

“Look at me. Lookin? Okay good. You like this guy, so be you. BUT, you need to let him know you’re interested. Be flirty. Touch his hands, compliment him, fucking, feed him from your plate- make it obvious. You’re a princess. He’s a knight, it’s GONNA happen.”

She nodded firmly, shoulder’s straight as a Lynel’s. 

“I can do this!”

She peered over at Link, and immediately hid behind a wall again.

“I can’t do this! He’s wearing the voe armor!”

“For the love of…”

Kohga sighed. Why did he love all these shy bitches?

“Mipha. You’re gonna make HIM drool, not the other way around. Come on, you’ve got this. I’ll be right here, I’ll make you look good as hell. On three. One. Two. Three!”

He carefully pushed her towards the dining room, and Mipha looked ready to have a heart attack. Poor thing.

“Link! It’s so nice to have you over! I hope my invitation wasn’t sudden!”

Link shook his head. Kohga, sensing things were still awkward, jumped in. He was always the fun one at parties.

“Hey, you know what, we should totally start eating! I heard Mipha made quite the spread, Sooga why don’t you help bring the stuff out?”

Sooga nodded, heading into the kitchen. Kohga gestured for all of them to take a seat (with Mipha sitting right next to Link of course), and him just a bit away from them. Close enough to be supportive, but just far enough to beat it if he was cramping their style. Soon enough, trays of food were brought in, and even Kohga had to admit, he was starved.

“Master Kohga?”

“Yes, Sooga?”

“I’m sorry.”

He was about to ask what for, but then he saw it. Fish dish. Fish dish, not a single dish WASN’T fish. And he couldn’t just NOT eat her food, less he make Mipha’s food look awful. Kohga gulped, and Mipha seemed to catch onto his distress.

“Oh Kohga, I’m so sorry, I forgot you didn’t like fish! Please, let me make you-”

“Nope!”

Kohga could feel his ass sweating. He was really gonna sit here and eat fish, because Mipha deserved it. Link looked over at him, clearly just as confused as anyone else. Kohga forced himself to chuckle.

“I mean...I HATE clam chowder. A lot. It’s gross, it’s squishy, it smells AWFUL. Unless it’s Mipha’s. I LOVE Mipha’s clam chowder! She is just. SUCH  a good cook, I could eat a whole bowl!”

Link looked him right in his face, grabbed a bowl, and filled it completely with clam chowder. He slid the bowl over to him, and Kohga wanted to throw up. That yucky, smelly smell of fish. 

“Son of a bitch..I mean, yum! Thank you, Link.”

Mipha just had to like this blonde asshole. Sooga made a motion to grab the bowl, but Kohga halted him. He was going to do this for Mipha. He took a taste of it, and he fought every urge not to puke. Dear god, the smell and the taste was awful. But he forced himself to swallow, smiling.

“See? I l-like it! So it’s GOTTA be good! Mipha is just, so talented!”

Link seemed satisfied, helping himself to a bowl. Mipha looked at Kohga, clearly worried, but he shook his head. 

“Make it up to me by getting some, Mipha.”

He muttered underneath his breath, forcing himself to eat more. Sooga had no problems, this asshole, eating fish like it was nothing. Mipha pretended like she didn’t know anything was wrong, giving her attention towards Link.

“So, Link! You’ve been over at the Gerudo desert, I take it. Urbosa is doing well, I trust?”

Kohga didn’t pay attention to the one sided conversation, too focused on handling the thick creamy broth. His stomach churned, his head hurt, and he was just. Dying. Not even Sooga could help him. He was going to bail, but he saw it in Mipha’s eyes. She was getting more nervous, and this was JUST from watching Link eat. Oh god this was a mess. He forced himself to think past the creamy mush still left in his bowl.

“So, Link, what do you think of Mipha’s new look? Nice right?”

Link looked her up and down, before giving Mipha a thumbs up. Her cheeks exploded in color, and she looked ready to just melt. Kohga tried not to gag at the fish burp he just had.

“And Mipha, thoughts on Link’s outfit?”

Mipha hesitated, letting herself get a look at him, totally not looking at that titty (atta girl), before softly nodding.

“You had it dyed white, it looks very...nice, Link. It really goes with your golden hair.”

Distracted by her thoughts, she played with a strand of his hair, before suddenly realizing what she was doing. They both looked away, buried in blush, just two, dumb, flirty messes. Oh his girl was KILLING IT. Kohga forced himself to gulp down his bowl (somehow not choking on the chunks), nearly gasping as he finished. Oh that was a mistake. That did NOT feel right. Didn’t matter, Mipha was GETTING somewhere with this guy. He whispered to her, nudging at her side.

“Offer him some of your food.”

“But? He has the same thing in-”

“Say yours is different. Just do it, trust me. Sooga! With me, kitchen, now.”

They dipped into the kitchen, and Sooga immediately handed him a bucket. Just in time for Kohga to purge his guts. Sooga patted his back, sighing.

“No one told you to finish the bowl, Kohga.”

“I am SUPPORTIVE, dammit! She deserves-”

Yet another purge of his guts. He groaned, relying heavily on Sooga to keep him upright.

“If it makes you feel better, I’m VERY proud of you. Going through so much for the sake of her happiness. You’re a wonderful person.”

“Sooga, that’s sweet, but dear god I’m throwing up here, shut the fuck up.”

Kohga was three for three, and he was wondering if it was worth it. Then he peered into the dining room. Mipha was spoon feeding him from her bowl, going so far as to scold him for his messy face, and cleaning it with a cloth napkin. It was adorable, it was sweet, and dear god was this worth it. Sooga chuckled, peering down at Kohga.

“You’re incredible, Master Kohga, letting her have this.”

“I AM pretty great, aren’t I?”

They sat there, watching them. For a moment, for a brief, sweet moment, she wasn’t shy. She was honest with herself, she was even just a bit flirty. And Link looked as if he wasn’t clueless. It was so goddamn sweet, it was worth every second of stomach pain. Kinda.

“Oh it’s coming again- he better marry this girl, or I’m starting the war all the fuck over again.”

He was complaining, sure. But he was really, honestly proud of his little Mipha. He’d do this again and again, if it meant getting to see such a sweet, happy smile.

He just prayed he didn’t have to.

[winters-blue-children]

Games and Theory (A 10k Evan Buckley disaster fic featuring jealous Eddie, phone sex, a fake relationship, and Albert being a genius)

Eddie's not looking for serious. He just wants casual, easy, and uncomplicated. 

Buck has been in love with his best friend for two years. Does he take his sister's advice and confess his feelings? Nah, Evan Buckley always has to do things the hard way.

At some point, Buck and Albert became pretty good friends. Maybe it’s the shared older siblings mackin’ on each other, or the having horrible parents thing, but it turns out they get along really well. A little too well, as Chimney often likes to complain about. He calls it a Buckley-Han recipe for disaster.

Wanna meet up for pool later tonight?

Can’t. It’s movie night with Eddie and Chris.

The blinking ellipses begin immediately after his last text is sent. Buck rolls his eyes in anticipation. He knows exactly what Albert is going to say.

Have fun with your looover.

Fuck off. He’s not my lover.

But you want him to be ;-)

Buck scowls at his phone before turning the screen off. His loud, frustrated groan echoes throughout his empty apartment. Damn high ceilings. While it’s nice to have someone to complain about being completely head over heels for his best friend, it also sucks to be reminded constantly that his love life is hopeless and helpless and, in Chim’s words… embarrassingly tragic.

“Movie night,” Buck mutters to himself, mentally preparing for an evening of kid-friendly movies, lots of popcorn, and being in painfully close proximity to the man he’s desperately in love with. “Completely platonic movie night.”

…

In between their last film and Chris’s bedtime, which the kid managed to convince his dad to push back—“But it’s not a school night, Dad!” And like most people who have met Christopher Diaz, Eddie has trouble saying no to his kid too—Buck finds himself seated on the living room floor, a jumbo Lego set spilled all around him. He spends the next thirty minutes sticking pieces together with his best friend’s son.  

“What is that?” Chris asks, tilting his head in confusion at the multi-colored lump in Buck’s hands. It’s all sharp angles and weird shapes.

“I’m not sure, bud. I made it to match yours.”

Chris laughs loudly, head thrown back as he giggles. And Buck laughs too, open and free and so genuinely happy.

Several feet away from them, Eddie watches quietly, a soft smile on his face.

…

Eddie’s not much of a talkative guy, at least not compared to Buck. When they’re together though, Buck brings him out of his shell, and Eddie makes sure to keep Buck grounded. Chim and Hen joke that they ‘complete’ each other. Whatever that means.

The point is that Eddie has a shy side. And considering he’s about twelve years out of the dating game, he needs his best friend to help him out.

“I thought you said you needed a wingman?”

Eddie stubbornly looks up and glares at Buck. He’s nursing his third beer, which he’d been staring at with what Buck had described as ‘crazy eyes’. And he’s adamantly refused to look anywhere around the bar that they’re currently in.

Buck leans closer over their small table. “We’ve been here for an hour and you haven’t even made eye contact with anyone. What are you doing?”

“Look, I haven’t done this in a very long time, okay?!” Eddie hissed. “I was with Shannon for two years before I enlisted. Two tours later, and add a kid to the picture, I’m a little out of practice!”

Buck’s face softens and he seems to take pity on him.

“Well, if you would get out of your own head and take a look around, you’d notice that more than a few lovely ladies have been eying you up all night.” Buck pauses and adds, “A few guys, too. If you’re into that.”

Eddie rolls his eyes and pulls a face like Buck just told a joke. He misses the way Buck looks slightly dejected, just for a second, before his grin slides back into place.

“So what are you looking for then? Blonde? Brunette? Are you into any weird stuff ‘cause the chick with the sleeve tats over there looks like she likes to play with toys.”

Eddie sighs and shakes his head, finally looking around the room for the first time. “I want something… uncomplicated.”

“Uncomplicated like a quickie in the bathroom? I’ve been there, and would not recommend. Your back will be killing you the next day.”

“Just… something easy, no strings attached, never have to call them again…”

“A one-night stand?” Buck frowns and tilts his head curiously. “Sounds like my old kind of thing. I didn’t think it was yours.”

Eddie shrugs. “It’s too hard to try for anything serious. I have Christopher to think about, and he needs one hundred percent of my attention. And I definitely can’t be bringing home random girls, hoping one of them is going to be Chris’s new mom.” He sighs and shakes his head. “Most would run away once they find out I’m a widowed veteran-father anyway. Talk about a flight risk.”  

“Don’t be so negative about yourself,” Buck says, his voice low. “You’re a great guy, and anyone would be lucky to have you.”  

Eddie pauses at the sincerity in Buck’s voice. It’s sweet. And nice. But he shakes his head and the moment ends. “Alright, help me out here. I really don’t want to go home tonight to just my left hand for company. Who do you think I’ve got a chance with?”

Buck grins, a little mirthless. “The girl in the red top, drinking a Long Island at the bar.” He raises an eyebrow and nods in her direction. “She’s with a group of friends, but she’s not been chatty. She keeps looking around the room like she’s looking for someone.”

Eddie turns and to his surprise, he makes eye contact. She’s attractive, probably mid to late twenties, with brown hair and blue eyes. Three solid seconds pass before she grins flirtatiously, bats her eyes, and looks away.

“Hook, line, and sinker,” Buck murmurs.

Eddie finishes off his beer. The bitter taste lingers and settles in his mouth, giving him an odd sense of confidence as he stands. “Wish me luck.”

“Good luck,” Buck says softly.

Eddie slides against the bar next to the girl in the red top. He grins, friendly but not over the top. “Can I buy you a drink?”

“Yeah, I’d like that,” she answers with a bright smile.

Eddie waves over the bartender. “Hi, can I get an IPA and another of what she’s having? Oh, and one more beer for my friend—” He turns his head, about to point to Buck when his eyes land on their empty table. Buck’s jacket is gone too.

He must have left.

“Um, nevermind about that last one. Thanks.”

…

Evan Buckley has been in love with his best friend for over two years. It’s painful, that they can be so close and yet he sometimes feels a million miles away. “I can’t get him out of my head, Mads. I think about him all the time and it’s so fucking distracting.”

“Dude, I work with you guys,” Chimney says slowly. “In a very dangerous line of work.”

Buck scowls as Maddie slaps her boyfriend’s arm. “I came over here to talk to my sister. Do you really have to be a part of the conversation?”

“I was here first!”

“Hm, yeah sorry,” Buck frowns and shakes his head. “I think I’ve got about twenty-six years on you in that department.”

“Stop fighting, children, please!”

Buck continues to mope on the couch while Chim shakes his head and helps himself to snacks on the coffee table. The crunch of chips between his teeth clashes harshly with the constant thump of Buck’s knee bouncing against the underside of the table.

“Look, Evan,” Maddie says carefully. “I think you really need to tell Eddie how you feel.”

“Why? What’s the point?” Buck demands. “So that he can reject me nicely? Let me down easy, maybe? Best case scenario, he says that nothing’s ever going to change between us and then he acts all weird and awkward because he knows that his best friend—who is a guy—is fucking in love with him!”  

Maddie reaches over and grabs her brother’s hand to hold. Even Chim’s eyes are downcast, looking like he feels a bit bad for him.

“You have to tell him, so that you can start to get over him,” Maddie says softly. “So that you can move on.”

“Maddie’s right,” Chim chimes in. “Rejection is the first step. If Tatiana hadn’t rejected me, I’d probably still be in that awful facade of a relationship. I never would have found the most wonderful and amazing person that I was meant to be with.”

Maddie grins softly at him. She leans over and they share a sweet kiss.

“Ugh,” Buck pulls a face and looks away. “Gross. That’s it, I can’t take any more of this. I’m out of here.”

“Evan, you don’t have to go!” Maddie says.

At the same time that Chim says, “See ya tomorrow, Buck.” He shrugs when they both give him a look. “What? I spend all day with the guy, I gotta see him at home, too?”

“Love you too, Chim,” Buck says sarcastically.

“He’s family,” Maddie says sternly.

“Hey, speaking of, where’s Albert?” Buck asks.

“Probably hooking up with rando hot girl number thirty.”

“Huh.” Buck pulls out his phone and hums. He says his goodbyes and leaves his sister and Chimney to do… whatever old, happy couples do on a Wednesday night.

Where you at?

A minute later, Albert responds. Some bar on West 23rd St. Wanna join?

Not feeling up to it. Wanna come over and hang instead?

Sure. Albert says. And then another text. I’ll be over in an hour.

…

It’s the middle of their shift and things are slow, which is never something to complain about. Eddie regales a tale about the latest girl he hooked up with. There have been a few girls since that night at the bar, and Eddie never shies away from telling Buck. Nothing too lewd. Just the highlights.

Buck nods and hums in response. His attention, however, is glued to his phone, where his thumbs rapidly fly across the screen as he texts. He plasters a lopsided grin on his face for show.

“I’m sorry, is my story about my foray back into the dating scene for the first time in over a decade too boring for you?”

Buck’s eyes snap up and he grins apologetically. He quickly slips his phone back into his pocket. “Sorry! I was listening, I swear!”

Eddie doesn’t buy it for one second.

“It couldn’t have been that bad,” Buck says quickly. See, he was listening. “You sealed the deal, right?”

Eddie sighs. “Yeah. It was alright. Not exactly a night of passion.”

“Better luck next time. Plenty more one-night fish in the sea, am I right?”

Eddie frowns, figuring Buck is right. He puts his mediocre night out of his mind. Buck looks like he’s itching to check his phone again. And then Eddie suddenly wonders what’s got his friend so distracted lately. “Hey, what was that just now? You’ve been glued to your phone the whole day. What is going on with you?”

Buck blushes and actually looks embarrassed, a rare sight. “I uh—I met someone,” he says bashfully.

Eddie raises an eyebrow, surprised. “Wow, um, congrats, dude. You haven’t mentioned getting back out there or anything.”

“Yeah, well. I figured it was time. It’s been a year since Ali…”

Eddie frowns and tries to be happy for him. But the only thing he can think is, “Is it serious?”

Buck grins softly. “It might be. Too early to tell, you know? But I think I want it to be.”

Eddie nods. An uncomfortable feeling rolls around in the pit of his stomach. He must have eaten something at lunch that doesn’t agree with him. He brushes it aside. “What’s her name?”

Buck hesitates. “His name is… Tom.”

Whatever Eddie ate for lunch might be threatening to come back up again.

…

“How could he not tell me? I mean, how could he not tell me?! We’re best friends, this is the type of thing that you tell your best friend!” Eddie gestures wildly with his arms as he speaks.

“I don’t understand why this is such a big deal,” Hen takes a drink of her cocktail and narrowly avoids being hit accidentally by Eddie’s flailing hands. “It’s not like he outright lied to you.”

“Not telling me that he’s into guys isn’t lying to me?”

“He’s dated one girl in the two plus years that you’ve known him. So he omitted one small fact about himself, so what? There are people who like both, you know.”

Eddie scoffs, incredulous. “Yeah, but Buck?!”

Hen gives him a pointed look and Eddie sighs. “I just… I don’t get why didn’t he tell me sooner.” He says softly.

“Please. You are not about to ask a lesbian why Buck didn’t out himself to you sooner. And you are definitely not having an issue with the fact itself, right?”

“Of course not,” Eddie says firmly. He might have grown up in a homophobic town in Texas, but that was never him. He stood up for the kids who got bullied growing up. He would never hate Buck for being gay, bi, pan, or whatever he labels himself. He would never hate anyone for that.

He just can’t seem to wrap his head around it. Why didn’t Buck tell him sooner? Why does it feel like such a painful and devastating betrayal, knowing that Buck met someone and they ‘might’ be getting serious?

“Wait,” Eddie freezes. “Hang on. Why aren’t you more surprised by this?”

Hen chuckles. “We have… a type of radar. I’m sure you’ve heard of it.” She finishes her drink and laughs to herself. “From the second I laid eyes on that boy, I could tell he was a womanizer and a playboy. But let me tell you, that bitch also looks like he is two clicks away from calling the first man to pull his hair Daddy.” She cackles loudly, unaware that Eddie is struggling not to choke on the air in his lungs.  

…

Albert is really good at chess.

Apparently, he won some sort of big deal tournament in South Korea. He brushes it off like no big deal whenever Chimney brings it up.

“It’s about being able to predict your opponent's move before they’ve even thought of it. You need to be three steps ahead, always. And flexible enough to adjust your strategy to the evolving game.”

Buck frowns. “That sounds really complicated. And hard.”

“I can teach you. Have you ever heard of game theory?”

“Dude, I told you I wasn’t the best in school,” Buck groans.

“Game theory is recognized as an important tool in many fields. It’s won Nobel prizes,” Albert says seriously.

Buck’s head spins from the nerd talk. “The only thing I care about, is will this even work?”

“Trust me,” Albert smiles, young and soft and genuine. “With my help, it will work.”

…

“Hi, Buck!”

Buck grins at Christopher’s excitement and quickly shoves two bags of take-out into Eddie’s hands so that he can kneel down and give Chris a hug. “Hi, buddy, I missed you!”

“I missed you too, Buck!”

“I’m sorry I haven’t been over in a while. I’ve been busy.” His brow furrows, regretful, and he sneaks a quick glance at Eddie, who wears an unreadable expression while he tries to balance the bags Buck had pushed into his arms.  

“That’s okay, you’re here now.” And with that, Chris takes Buck by the hand and leads him over to the couch.

Clearly, it’s now Eddie’s responsibility to handle the food.

After dinner, Buck helps Eddie with the dishes, while Chris is engrossed by a movie in the living room.

“So I was thinking maybe you could spend the night?” Eddie says, as he rinses a dirty dish under the tap. “We can do breakfast tomorrow morning at the diner on Stratton, the one that Chris likes. And I was going to take him to the park afterwards, you know he loves having you there.”

Buck is silent for a moment, just long enough that Eddie stops and looks up from what he’s doing.

“I um… I actually have plans later tonight.”

“Oh,” Eddie says dumbly. Out the corner of his eye, the clock on the oven blinks 8:11 PM. “What kind of plans?” He asks casually.

Buck blushes and drops his gaze. “Tom’s coming over.” A small smile tugs at the corners of his lips. “I don’t think you want any details beyond that.”    

Eddie purses his lips and returns his attention to the dishes. He doesn’t want to think about Buck and Tom, the latter is just a faceless shadow in his mind. But one with broad shoulders and a chiseled jaw.  

Nope, he does not need any more details.

“Maybe I could still join you guys at the park though?”

“Yeah,” Eddie mutters, as he scrubs a plate with far more force than necessary. “I’m sure Chris would love that.”

…

Eddie isn’t as great at hiding his emotions as he would like to believe. Maybe once upon a time he got away with it, but over the past two years, the 118 has become family to him. And families pry. They get into each other’s business, with good intentions, of course.

“Rough night?”

Eddie looks up and sees his Captain’s concerned face watching him. “Uh, sort of, Cap. I haven’t been sleeping well,” he admits. “Kind of have a lot on my mind right now. But I’m fine, don’t worry. It’s not affecting my work.”

Bobby takes a seat in the chair next to him. “You’ve been pretty quiet lately. Is everything alright at home?”

“Yeah, everything’s great,” Eddie says carefully. “Christopher is doing well and he’s loving his classes at school. Everything’s great, Cap.”

The words taste like ash and sound fake to his own ears.

“Listen, it’s my job to know when something is wrong with my team,” Bobby says seriously. “And you’ve been off for weeks now. Is there… is there something going on between you and Buck that I should know about?”

“No! No, of course not!” Eddie says, a little too quickly. “I mean… Okay, honestly, Buck hasn’t been around much lately—” He clears his throat awkwardly. “Since he’s been seeing someone and… Chris has been asking why he hasn’t been around as much, and I know that he misses him.” He sighs and runs his hands through his short hair. “I just don’t know what to do about it.”

Bobby gives him a strange look, like maybe he’s being a bit slow. “Have you tried… talking to Buck about this? I’m sure Buck is more than happy to make time for you guys. You’re family to him.”

Eddie blinks, oblivious. “No. Why would I?”

“Because it might solve all your problems.”

Eddie snorts. That doesn’t quite compute.

Bobby pats him on the shoulder and gives him a sad, knowing glance. He wonders how long it’s going to take for Eddie to admit to himself that it’s not just Chris who misses Buck.

…

“Eddie, h-hey, what’s up?”

Eddie grins. Buck’s voice is breathy like he’s just gone on a run, or been going hard at the gym. It’s a sound that Eddie associates with a bad call that ends well because they saved the day. Out of breath and gasping, but still with a grin plastered across his face so bright it could light up a room.

“What’s going on?” Comes Buck’s concerned voice over the line when Eddie doesn’t answer. “Is everything okay? Is Christopher alright?”

Eddie closes his eyes and tries to get himself out of his own head. He’s been having trouble thinking straight lately. “Yeah. Yeah man, everything’s fine. Just wondering what you’re up to tonight? Chris is having some friends over and I could use another pair of eyes on them. You know I hate being outnumbered,” he chuckles.

“Oh, I’m sorry I can’t,” Buck says, and then there’s a rush of air into the phone before he continues, “I uh… I think I’m staying in tonight.”

Eddie frowns. Something doesn’t sound quite right. He narrows his eyes and presses the phone closer to his ear. There’s rustling in the background, like something is going on over Buck’s end. “Come on, dude,” he presses. “We haven’t hung out outside of work in like two weeks.”

“Yeah, I know,” Buck drawls. “You’re hopeless without me.”

Eddie is about to say something snarky in return when he hears a muffled sound in the background, right before Buck grunts softly into his ear.

His hand tightens on his phone. “Buck?”

“W-what?” Buck sounds distracted, and then the clear sound of a backboard squeaking rhythmically tells Eddie all he needs to know. “Eddie, I gotta go,” he says breathlessly. His voice is cut off by commotion on his end of the line.

Eddie winces when he hears the clear clatter of Buck’s phone dropping to the ground.

“Shit, I dropped my phone!”

Muffled noises and heavy moans drift over the line. Warmth floods his body and Eddie feels his face flush red. It’s suddenly very hard to breathe. He should hang up. He should pretend this call never happened. He really, really should not stay on the line listening to his best friend having sex with another man.

“Oh, fuck, harder—”

Eddie closes his eyes. Buck’s face in high definition lights up in his mind, lips parted, cheeks rosy and flushed, and maybe he bites down on his bottom lip as he gets fucked—

What the hell is he doing? Thinking about Buck’s red lips and how it’s so adorable that his birthmark is the same shade as that luscious mouth—

Eddie considers hanging up yet again.

But the grunts and moans and sounds of pleasure are getting louder. And he’s suddenly so fucking hard.

“Fuck! Come on, give me more, right there—”

His hand is reaching down his pants and wrapping around his hard cock before Eddie even realizes it. He jerks himself roughly as he listens to the sound of Buck’s voice.  

He’s never come so fast in his life.

…

“Hey Chim, how’s it going with Albert?” Eddie asks. “You guys getting along any better?”

Chimney frowns and glances over at the bar where Albert, Buck, and Hen are sharing a laugh over drinks.

“They are getting along wonderfully,” Maddie answers for him.

“Well, he’s family,” Chim manages, shaking his head.

Eddie chuckles and his eyes can’t help but land on Buck and stay there.

Of course, they never mentioned the call, instead both chose to act like the whole thing never happened. Maybe Buck didn’t realize that it was blatantly obvious what he was doing when Eddie called, and maybe he didn’t realize that Eddie stayed on the line, blowing a load over him, like a goddamn creep.  

The next day, he just smiled and clapped a hand on Eddie’s shoulder like nothing was wrong. Nevermind that Eddie’s whole world was crashing around him because he got himself off to his best friend being fucked by another guy. And the orgasm he had over Buck’s voice was more intense than any he’d had with the random women he’d slept with over the past month.

He can’t even remember their names.

So lost in thought, he doesn’t realize that Maddie and Chim are giving each other smirks and looks while he’s distracted.

“What’s going on with you, Mr. Mopey?” Chimney asks.

“What do you mean?” Eddie asks, confused.

“Come on, you’ve been acting off for weeks,” Chim says while Maddie tries to hide a laugh. “Everyone’s noticed. Just admit it.”

“Admit what?” Eddie genuinely has no idea what he’s talking about.

“You can’t possibly be that thick,” Chim says slowly.

Maddie pats him on the shoulder. “Babe, don’t push it.”

“Oh, come on! Even Albert won’t stop talking about it—”

Eddie never finds out what it is because they’re interrupted by the presence of none other than the man who is the star of his wet dreams.

“What’s up, guys?” Buck’s grin is a mile wide and he’s just loose enough from a few drinks that he’s extra handsy. And he’s pretty handsy with Eddie on a regular day.

Eddie swallows the lump in his throat as his skin hyper focuses on Buck’s arm around his shoulders. He quickly takes another drink of his beer so that he doesn’t have to answer.

And then he spends the rest of the night hoping and praying that his jeans are tight enough to hide the obvious erection in his pants.

…

Eddie thinks it can’t possibly get any worse. He’s wrong.

Weeks of blue balls and pining leave him in a near constant bad mood. Even Chris has noticed that he’s been snappier than usual—which of course, makes him feel like an asshole.  

Buck hasn’t mentioned anything, though everyone else seems to be avoiding him like the plague.

And then during one of their shifts, twenty minutes after Eddie texts Buck to confirm his pizza topping of choice for lunch, he receives a photo to their text message chain. He thinks he’s hallucinating when the little icon image pops up on his screen.

But then he opens the image and his eyes bulge wide out of their sockets.  

Buck is shirtless. It’s not like Eddie hasn’t seen the guy naked before. After all, they’ve spent plenty of time together in the showers and locker room at the firehouse. It’s the look on his face that gets him. The angle is taken from above. It’s meant to be sexual. Buck is biting his lip, head tilted back, a look of absolute sin gracing his handsome features. Eddie has never thought of his friend as pretty before, but god damn, Buck is pretty.

And as Eddie’s eyes trail down Buck’s chest, down his chiseled abs, they travel over the gorgeous V of his hip bones, to just past the base of his shaft, the rest cut off by his boxer briefs pulled down by the hook of his thumb.

The picture was clearly meant for something else.

Eddie doesn’t know what the fuck to do. He’s torn between confronting Buck about this egregious error that he made and running into the bathroom to jerk off.

In hindsight, the latter would have been better. After all, with post-nut clarity, he never would have done what he actually did, which is yell at Buck, in front of the whole firehouse.

“What the actual fuck?!”

Buck gapes at the lewd image on his phone, when shoved in his face. “I—I am so sorry, Eddie!” He stutters, red with embarrassment. “I did not mean to send that to you! I—I didn’t check the chain, and I had forgotten that you texted me your order—”

“You think I want to be getting shit like this on my phone?” Eddie rages. “Be more fucking careful next time you send shit like this to your boyfriend, or whoever the hell he is!”

Buck looks hurt. “Sorry, man,” he says softly. “It won’t happen again.”

Head bowed, Buck walks away with his tail tucked between his legs, leaving Eddie feeling like the biggest asshole on the face of this earth.

It doesn’t help that their little squabble had gained an audience.

Eddies groans and clenches his fists by his sides. He fights the urge to smash his phone to pieces.

He never does delete that photo.

…

Eddie’s not sure how they got to this point. Their friends pity them and Bobby has personally demanded that they resolve their differences. Fast. Or they won’t be covering the same shifts anymore. And now Buck is mad and wanting answers.

“Why are you avoiding me?”

“I’m not avoiding you, Buck.”

“You haven’t looked at me in days. If this is still about the pic that I accidentally sent you—”

“No!” Eddie says loudly. “No, it’s not about that. I am definitely way past that.”

Buck pauses and stares at him in disbelief. “Then why doesn’t it feel that way?”

“I don’t know,” Eddie swallows thickly. “Maybe you’re just imagining things.”

“You’ve been acting like a real dick lately,” Buck says blatantly. “If you have a problem with me, you should just say it.”

Eddie bites his tongue. “Nope. No problem at all.”

Buck grits his teeth and storms away. And that’s that.

…

Not too long later, Eddie reaches his breaking point.

“Alright, fine! Maybe I am pissed at you!” Eddie gives in to the weeks of loneliness and sexual frustration and yells at his friend. “I’m pissed that you haven’t been around! And when you are, you’re distracted and distant and all you talk about is this Tom fella—”

“My boyfriend?”

“Whatever!” Eddie says. “Fuck!”

He knows he’s being a Grade A asshole, but he can’t help himself. Buck drives him crazy and he has no idea how to stop it.

A long moment passes before Buck speaks, “Well, not to get your hopes up or anything,” he says softly. “But this Tom thing might not last much longer.”

Eddie’s curiosity is piqued. Despite knowing better, he asks, “What’s going on?”

Buck shrugs uncomfortably. “I think we just want different things. Probably not going to work out in the long run.”

“And… what do you want?”

Buck looks at him and for a second Eddie gets lost in the blue of his eyes. “I want something real, you know? And I thought that’s what he wanted too, but… he wants to keep it open. Keep seeing other people.” He sighs heavily, sounding sad and defeated. “Which I was fine with for a while, but… I kind of thought he’d change his mind eventually.”

Buck shakes his head. “Sorry, man. You don’t want to hear about this—”

“Tom’s a fucking asshole,” Eddie spits.

Buck blinks in surprise. “W-what?” He chuckles softly.

“You heard me. He’s a fucking asshole. I’ll kick his ass if I ever meet him.”  

Buck stares at him for a long moment. And then his face breaks into a grin. “Thanks, Eddie. You’re a good friend.”

Eddie nods. For the first time in a long time, he does feel like a good friend. Because he would absolutely kick anyone’s ass who hurt Buck.

…

Things between them get better after that.

And one evening, after the end of a long shift, Eddie and Buck get good and truly hammered.

It’s been a long time since Eddie had drank that much. But they don’t have to work the next day, Chris is sleeping over at Abuela’s, and him and Buck are friends again. So he lets loose and just goes along with whatever Buck wants. And Buck leans very much into his personal space in his drunk and disorderly state.

Eddie doesn’t mind one bit. Like an idiot, he doesn’t push him away.

He misses the laughs and doesn’t catch the mild looks of judgment and concern from Hen and Chim, because he’s too drunk to care. And when Albert keeps pushing tequila shots their way, he giggles and throws them back with Buck because it finally feels like they’re them again. And he’s really missed this.

…

The pillow that smacks him in the face wakes him up fast. With a startled gasp, Eddie blinks the sleep and haze out of his eyes. The first thing he registers is his throbbing headache.  “What the hell—” The second is the pillow that hits him again before he can do anything more than blink dumbly in surprise. And then he’s pissed. “What the fuck, Buck?!”  

“Stop that!” Eddie grabs the pillow before the other man can hit him again. “This is not exactly the morning after I was hoping for!”

“What exactly were you hoping for?! What the hell, Eddie?! We had sex last night! TOGETHER!” Buck’s voice gets higher until he’s nearly screeching, which is not great for either of their hangovers. He seems to suddenly realize he’s naked because he pulls the covers up tighter around himself as if it might preserve his chastity. A bit late for that, Eddie thinks.

“You… asshole! What the hell?!”  

Eddie rubs the residual fog out of his eyes and stares at him. “You told Chim last night that you would give your left nut to suck my dick, so what the hell are you complaining about?” He smirks and nods at the shocked expression on Buck’s face. “Yeah, apparently, you get reeeal chatty when you’ve had tequila.”

“Chim said what?” Buck whispers softly, looking mildly shell-shocked and like he really wants to bury himself in the earth and never come out again.

“Oh, and by the way, I am way hotter than that guy you were flirting with at the bar,” Eddie growls, indignant and affronted. “If you want to know regret, know that you could have woken up next to that!”

“He—he was perfectly fine looking,” Buck stutters.

At the same time that Eddie hisses, “Man-bun.”

“And more importantly,” Buck continues harshly. “Since when do you sleep with guys?”

“Since last night, apparently,” Eddie says steely, not nearly as mortified and shocked as he should be. He adds, “And it was really great. Morning after could use some work though.”

Buck swallows. “I never thought… I never thought you were interested.”

“Neither did I,” Eddie lies. He takes a breath, counts to three in his head, and on a whim and a prayer, he reaches for Buck and crashes their lips together with such force that they nearly topple over.

They’re all awkward limbs and gross tequila morning breath—and yet, they seem to fit together perfectly in each other’s arms. They fall back onto Buck’s sheets. A mess of gangly limbs, dried bodily fluids, and lips desperate to feel more.  

Perfect.

…

If anyone were to ask what this thing is between him and Buck, Eddie would say that it’s casual. That’s the word he likes to use when he thinks of them. They’re sleeping together and it’s good and hot and mindblowing sex. But it’s also easy. Because Buck is uncomplicated, and he’s there again when Chris wants him. He loves Christopher, Eddie has no doubt about that. And most importantly, Eddie can get laid whenever he wants.

“Hey, so I was thinking about asking Carla to stay late this Friday to watch Chris,” Buck brings up to him one night. “Maybe you and I can go out to dinner after our shift. We could go some place nice. That new restaurant on Main St. maybe.”

Eddie follows his first instinct which is to laugh, because it sounds like Buck just suggested that they go out on a date. The look on Buck’s face says that he made a mistake.

“Wait, you’re serious?” Eddie asks after seeing the dejected look on Buck’s face.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Buck’s voice is low and strange.

“Because that… that sounds like a date,” Eddie says incredulously. “That’s not what you and I do. We don’t go to nice restaurants, we’re not—”

“A couple?” Buck cuts him off roughly. His expression has grown hard. “So what exactly are we?”

It’s a rare moment when Eddie is at a loss for words, but right now they seem to be stuck in his throat and he has no idea what to say.

“What exactly is this to you, Eddie?” Buck asks slowly.

“We’re just… good friends helping each other out,” he manages.

“Friends?” Buck demands, eyes narrowed and furious. “I’ve sucked your cock, I think we’re a little beyond friends, Eddie.”

“Jesus, Buck! Keep your voice down!” Eddie hisses, even though Chris’s room is on the other end of the house and he’s probably fast asleep at this hour.

But now Buck just looks defeated and hurt, and it’s the last thing that Eddie wanted.

“I thought this meant more to you,” Buck says quietly. “I guess I was wrong.”

“Look, Buck,” Eddie starts. “You know I love you, man. Just… just not like that. I can’t do that.”

Buck scoffs and looks away, which makes Eddie feel worse.

“I told you, a long time ago, that I’m not looking for anything serious, with anyone. It’s… it’s not you, Buck. It’s just that, I have a son to think about.” It makes sense in his head. It’s not like he’s sleeping with anyone else. He just needs to make Buck see.

“Okay.”

Eddie blinks. Okay? “Yeah?”

Buck nods. “Yeah,” he says softly. He slowly turns away, looking lost for a moment, before turning back, eyes glazed and hurt and unseeing. “I’m gonna go.” He says, pointing a thumb behind him. He starts gathering his things to leave and Eddie’s heart sinks into his gut. It hurts like there’s a knife buried there, twisting.

“Wait, no,” Eddie says desperately. “Buck, don’t leave—” He reaches for him but Buck snatches his arm away before Eddie can make contact. Somehow that stings more than when Shannon asked for a divorse.  

Buck is adamant about avoiding eye contact, or any type of contact at all.

He’s hurt. And Eddie hates that this time, he was the one to do it.

“I’ll see you later, man,” Buck mutters, and then he’s gone.

Eddie stands, alone in his kitchen, feeling more lost than ever before.

…

Hen, bless her soul, is the first to pull him aside and demand to know how he managed to fuck up such a sure, good thing.

“What kind of moron are you?” She asks after she listens to his side of the story.

“W-what?” Eddie sputters helplessly. “This isn’t my fault.”

“You are both miserable,” she says bluntly. “Why?!”

Eddie sighs heavily and agrees. “Buck looked like he was about to dry heave when I stepped into the station today,” he says sadly.

“You are dumber than a bag of rocks. Eddie Diaz, I’m going to say this once and only once. You. Love. Him.” She says, enunciating each word.

“Of course, I love him,” Eddie responds. “He’s my closest friend. He’s Buck. I trust him with everything—”

“No, you dumbass. I mean, you love him. He’s not just some rando hookup you picked up for a night. He’s not just a friend, he’s Buck, the guy who would rather die than see anything bad happen to you or your son. He’s the guy who loves your kid like his own. And, speaking as a mother, that is not something to be said lightly.”

“I know Buck loves Chris,” Eddie says softly. “And I never asked him to, he just…” His voice trails off, as the realization slowly dawns on him.

Hen raises a brow. “Let me ask you a question,” she says slowly. “Why did you stop looking for girls to sleep with? You stopped long before you and Buck started this thing between you two. So why? Why did you stop?”

“I…” Fuck. Eddie remembers the longing that he felt when Buck was with someone else. He remembers how much it hurt. Like someone had reached into his chest and squeezed his heart. “Anyone else just… wasn’t what I wanted,” he realizes.

“So what are you waiting for now, dummy?”

“I’m scared,” Eddie admits. “I thought that it would be too difficult or too complicated, or whatever dumb shit I was thinking at the time. I thought it wasn’t worth the risk. To me and to my son.”

“And is it?” Hen asks softly.

Eddie bites his lip. “If this goes sideways, I don’t know what it’ll do to Christopher. That kid has lost so much already. And he loves Buck to death, if this doesn’t work out—”

“Kids are a lot tougher than we like to give them credit for. I’m saying this from one parent to another. You can’t let that hold you back. You can’t let it stop you from going after what you really want. Trust me, Chris will understand. He probably already knows you’re head over heads for his Buck.”

Eddie laughs and bows his head. “Yeah, probably. I never did hide it very well, did I?”

“No, you didn’t,” Hen agrees.

“I think I was wrong,” Eddie finally whispers.

Hen’s fingers flex around his forearm, offering what comfort she can.  “Are you done being an idiot yet?”

Eddie considers it. “Yeah, I think so. I just gotta clear it with one more person,” he says softly.

…

His son is the most important person in his life. Eddie has so much to make up for. He was away for so long and he missed so much. And he vowed that he would never let Christopher down again.

But he has. Of course he has, he’s only human. But he keeps trying and he never gives up. And he figures that’s got to count for something.

For over two years, Eddie watched the relationship blossom between Buck and Chris. He watched as Buck doted on his kid, took him under his wing, and not long after, he started loving him.

Eddie now includes Buck’s name on his list of emergency contacts.

It took a little while longer, but eventually Eddie realizes that Chris looks up to Buck like another parent.

The moment really came when he peeks into Chris’s bedroom and sees Buck reading his son a bedtime story, one of Christopher’s favorites. Chris insists every night that Buck is there. Buck does the voices better than Eddie.

There they are, side by side. Chris’s eyes are drooping, no longer focused on the page. Buck’s voice is still animated and excited, though getting softer by the minute. And the look on his face, Eddies loves that look. Eddie loves him.

It’s a terrifying thought.

It catches him off guard. It scares him. Chris already lost one parent. Eddie couldn’t bear his son losing another. So he kept Buck at a distance. Tried to draw a line between what he had with Buck and what they had as a family.

Hen was right, he was a goddamn moron.

Buck was family long before he and Eddie got wasted and fell into bed with each other.

“Hey, kiddo,” Eddie kneels down by his son where he’s playing with his toys in the living room.

“Hi, Dad.”

Chris’s grin warms his heart and Eddie can’t help but smile as well. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“What is it?”

Eddie smiles at his kid, the shining epitome love of his life. “I want to talk to you about Buck.”

Chris’s grin grows wider. “I like Buck. Is he coming over tonight?”

“I like Buck, too.” Eddie says carefully. “So you… you like it when Buck is here?”

“Yeah, Buck is fun. And he loves me.”

“He sure does. Who wouldn’t love you, kiddo?” Eddie jokes.

“No,” Chris shakes his head. “Buck is special.”

“Yeah?” Eddie asks. “And why is that?”

“Because you love him, Dad.”

Eddie freezes. He closes his jaw and swallows the lump in his throat. “Chris, how… how did you know that?” He whispers.

“The way you look at him,” Chris says easily. “And the way you act around him.”

“What do you mean?” Eddie presses.

“When Buck was hurt, you were really worried,” Chris explains. “You were sad and you were upset, and you would do everything you could to make him feel better. Remember?”

“Yeah, I remember,” Eddie says softly. When Buck got crushed by a ladder truck, there were moments when Eddie thought he was going to lose him forever. He was scared—terrified. Not just for Buck’s health and safety, but he was scared that his life could forever be changed because some asshole kid decided to play bomber.

And when Buck almost died from the pulmonary embolism, because he pushed himself too hard—that made Eddie angry. Angry that Buck risked his life and his health and did this to himself. And maybe if Eddie had tried harder to be there for him, Buck wouldn’t have felt the need to get back to where he was so quickly.

Apparently, Eddie didn’t hide this very well.

“When Buck’s not here, you’re sad,” Chris says softly. “When he’s here, you’re happy.”

“Yeah,” Eddie nods. Kids make it sound so simple. He has a hard time remembering why he’s been acting like an idiot for so long. “Yeah, you’re right.”

“So you love him,” Chris says simply.

“I do,” Eddie says quietly, tears growing in his eyes. “And you’re okay with that?”

“Of course I am, Dad. Buck is amazing,” Chris says with a grin.

Eddie has never been so grateful that he has such an amazing kid. He still can’t believe he lucked out, that he has such a wonderful son. “Yeah,” he agrees, pulling him into a hug. Tears trail down his cheeks, but they’re happy tears. “Buck really is amazing.”

Chris smiles and lets out a soft laugh against him. “I love Buck, too, Dad.”

So, now Eddie has some groveling to do.

…

Buck isn’t surprised when he opens his door to see Eddie on the other side. He does huff in annoyance though. “What are you doing here?” He asks. They haven’t spoken since Buck walked out. Buck has avoided his calls and the texts go unanswered.

Eddie doesn’t answer at first. But he motions awkward with his arm and Buck eventually steps back to let him in.

“Look, I really don’t want to do this with you, Eddie—”

“Of course, you don’t,” Eddie says quickly. “We were always awful when we’re mad at each other. Over such dumb shit too.”

“You’re kidding, right?” Buck gives him an odd look. “Am I just supposed to get over it? I mean, I’ve had your dick up my ass, are we just supposed to pretend that never happened?”  

Eddie blushes. “Yeah, that’s not really a memory I want to erase from existence, so…”

Buck stares at him, stubborn and calm. “So, what exactly are you saying?”

“What I’m trying to say, is that I’ve been acting like a royal idiot lately,” Eddie says. “I did pretty much everything wrong. I didn’t think that I wanted you until you were with someone else. And then when I did have you, I didn’t realize that what we had was so much more than I ever gave us credit for.”

Buck stays stubbornly silent. But he’s not kicking him out, which is enough to make Eddie continue. “I need you to know that I love you, and not just as a friend. I love you like a partner, like Chris’s second dad, like a missing piece of myself, and when you’re not there… it literally feels like my life is falling apart.”

His breath shudders and he sighs, trying to get a hold of himself. “I am so lost without you, Buck. And I was such an idiot that I didn’t realize it sooner. So, please… I am asking from the bottom of my heart… will you give me another chance?”

“I always knew you were an idiot,” Buck eventually says. “I don’t know where Chris gets his smarts from, because it definitely isn’t you.”

Eddie grins and takes a hesitant step forward. “Yeah, I deserve that,” he says softly, and then he takes another step. “You’re right, I was an idiot.”

“I’m gonna make you take me out, you know,” Buck whispers. “You’re gonna have to wine and dine me, and I mean, the good, expensive stuff.”

“Whatever you want, babe. I swear.” Eddie takes another final step and then he’s crowding into Buck’s space, pressing tight against his chest. He leans up to press their lips together and Buck’s got that look in his eyes that Eddie knows all too well. The look that says he’s in too deep, he loves too much, and if Eddie hurts him again, that’ll be the end of him.

But Eddie swears to high heaven, he’ll do his best to never ever hurt this man again.

“I’m so sorry I’ve been such an idiot,” Eddie murmurs against his lips.

“You swear you’ll stay with me this time?” Buck asks. “You’ll try this for real with me?”

Eddie nods. He presses their lips together, again and again, like he can’t get enough. His fingers are wrapped tight around the other man’s shirt, and he can tell Buck is holding himself back. He presses his weight against him, pushing him through the small apartment until they both fall against the couch—the stairs being too much to traverse in their state. The intense heat of their bodies together opens all the floodgates.  

“I promise you, Buck. For real. You and me,” Eddie nods his head, his fingers fumble with Buck’s zipper, and then his own. “Like we should have been this whole goddamn time.”

When the clothes are off and skin is pressed to bare skin, they moan like starved men gasping for air. There’s lube somewhere in Buck’s coffee table drawer, and a box of condoms. Eddie presses his fingers into the hard flesh along Buck’s hips and buries his face in the crook of his neck. He sucks bruises into Buck’s skin, tastes him on his tongue and smells him in his nostrils. He can feel the other man’s pulse; strong, fast, and steady. He feels it rise and flutter as he moves inside him.

Their bodies grind together and the feeling is intoxicating; hot, sickly, and sweet. They’re reckless and dangerous and so in love that they’re sure nothing they’ve ever experienced even comes close to this.

They groan and pant and freefall toward climax together, limbs wrapped around each other, messy and uncoordinated. And when it’s over, Eddie presses his sweaty temple gently against Buck’s cheek. He’s gasping, struggling to catch his breath.

Buck chuckles softly, his hand comes up to wrap around Eddie’s arm. Their sounds echo through the apartment, a familiar comfort to them both.  

“I’m hungry,” Buck says softly, before Eddie has even pulled out of him. “You wanna grab some food?”

Eddie grins and nods his head.

This feels good, he thinks to himself, better than anything he’s had before. And this time, he’s going to remember that.

…  

Some time later:

“Chim, your brother is still here?” Eddie nods to Albert who’s engrossed in conversation with Buck by the bar. Eddie narrows his eyes at the serious look on Buck’s face. He wonders what they’re talking about.

Chimney gives him a strange look, perhaps surprised that he asked, and then he shrugs. “Yeah, thought he was staying a few weeks. Guess that’s turned into a few months now.”

“Couch-surfing for months, that’s got to be rough,” Eddie comments.

“My couch, random strange hook ups’ couches, Buck’s couch. That guy really knows how to get around.”

Eddie frowns. “Buck’s couch?” He knew Albert had stayed at Buck’s place once, after Chimney blew up at him. Not that it had happened again though.

Chim raises his eyebrows. “You don’t know? They hang out like… all the time. It’s fucking weird, man. If I didn’t know you and Buck got a serious thing going on, I’d be a little worried about Buckaroo over there taking my little brother’s innocence.”

Eddie gapes. “Are you serious?” His eyes fly around the bar again, not knowing what he thought he’d see. Buck and Albert look the same as they did twenty seconds ago, still talking by the bar.

“I’m kidding!” Chim says, laughing as he slaps Eddie on the arm. “Of course, I’m kidding!”

Eddie breathes in relief.

Until Chim continues, “My little brother doesn’t have an ounce of innocence inside him.”

Eddies doesn’t know how to approach this. He wants to know why he didn’t know—why Buck didn’t tell him that he was apparently close to Chimney’s estranged half-brother. He wants to go over there and find out what they’re talking about. How does he do that without coming across like some jealous asshole? His mind flips back and forth between playing it cool and storming over there.

Thankfully, Buck saves him the trouble.

He pulls him aside and looks hesitant when he speaks, which Eddie takes note of right away.

“Hey, can we talk about something real quick?” Buck asks.

“Yeah, of course,” Eddie says carefully. “What’s going on?

“Um,” Buck shifts uncomfortably. “You know how I kind of made you grovel when you came back? And I kind of emphasized how you were a total dick, who needed to beg and plead before getting back into my pants?”

Eddie snorts. “Yeah.” He remembers it vividly.

“Okay,” Buck admits. “So, I’m kind of an asshole.”

“You weren’t that bad,” Eddie chuckles.

“No,” Buck insists. “I actually am kind of a dick.” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone. He clicks and swipes while Eddie watches confused until Buck holds the screen up in front of his face.

Eddie doesn’t know what he’s looking at. It’s his contact info, with call data, and all their incoming and outgoing calls.

“Eighteen minutes and twenty-three seconds.”

Eddie stares, blank and confused, until it dawns on him. He sees the call log. He sees the date and the numbers and there’s only one possibility. Eighteen minutes and twenty-three seconds that he stayed on the line. Listening. Like a perv.

“Um… I—I wasn’t—” He stutters. “I don’t know what—”

“Don’t be embarrassed, I knew you were listening,” Buck says quickly as he shoves his phone back in his pocket. “Um, I don’t really know how to tell you this, but… Tom wasn’t real.”

“What?” Eddie blinks and struggles to process. “Tom, your… ex-boyfriend?”

Buck looks genuinely shameful. “Yeah, he was… kind of, made up?” He says lightly.    

Eddie’s mind sort of short-circuits then. Because what the hell does that mean? “W-what?!” He sputters.

“I’m sorry!” Buck says quickly. And then he rolls into a tangent that Eddie can only hope to follow as best his can. “It was Albert’s idea, ‘cause I was complaining about how much I was in love with you. And apparently, I talk about you a lot, like non-stop and he was getting sick of it. And I think I was moping and pissing him off because he just wanted a drinking buddy. And then he kept going on and on about behavior theory and logical decision making and all this other shit that I don’t really understand!”

Eddie blinks and Buck continues, “He told me what to do to get you and I just went along with it! He told me to invent some guy and it would make you realize what you wanted all along… And that if I threatened to pull away, you would realize that you love me and that this thing between us—” He gestures quickly with his hands. “—is real. And it worked!”

Buck shrugs, a small, hopeful expression on his face. “Except now I kind of feel like a dick because I made you feel bad, and he said that I should come clean about everything and that you wouldn’t mind because you love me too—”

“Wait, wait, wait… hold up,” Eddie’s mind hasn’t quite caught up yet. “You lied to me?”

“I’m sorry,” Buck whispers.

“Tom was… was a lie?” Eddie tries to think of the evidence. He never met the guy, never even saw a photo. Buck just kept talking about him… “But the call…”

“Yeah, I kind of had a bit of fun with that one,” Buck grins bashfully. “Our first phone sex!” He tries to joke, but it falls flat when he sees the look on Eddie’s face.  

“You tricked me? You’ve been lying this whole time?”

“Well, I… I prefer to think of it as, I used dishonest tactics to persuade you…”

“The—the fucking… naked picture of you…” Eddie’s jaw drops as the pieces finally come together in his head. “You sent that to me on purpose!”

“I’m sorry,” Buck says softly.

“I cannot believe this! You—you inserted yourself into my life, lied to me for months, pull yourself away, and of course, I’m over here tweaking like an addict without dope! And feeling like the biggest jerk in the world!”

“Well, that’s a bit dramatic, I think.”

“Where is that asshole?”

Buck’s eyes widen comically when he sees the other man prepare for a rampage. “Eddie, wait!”

But Eddie’s already making his way back to the group. He doesn’t know what he’s doing but he knows that he’s furious, embarrassed that he was played so easily, and completely blind-sided by the truth. He can’t even put his thoughts in order to make a coherent—

“Hey, asshole!”

All eyes turn to him, shocked by his outburst. Hen and Chim are clearly confused, unsure of what’s going on. A second later, he registers that Buck has caught up to him. The expression on his face is oddly reminiscent of Scrat from the Ice Age movies that Chris loves watching. Stunned, sheepish, and a little bit of ‘did I do that?’

“What the hell is wrong with you?! You think you can just mess with people’s heads like this?! You think you can just treat this shit like a game, like… like some fucking chess game?!”

“Eddie, stop!” Buck pleads.

“Whoa, wait, what the hell is going on?” Chim asks.

“You fucking piece of shit, I ought to—”

Albert stands slowly, his hands held up innocently in front of him. Eddie breathes slowly through his nose. He can feel Buck’s presence behind him, ready to hold him back in case he decides to do something royally stupid.

“I’m sorry if you feel fooled,” Albert says carefully. “We had no intention to hurt you. Quite the opposite, actually.”

Behind him, the others stare, mouths gaping. “What is happening right now?” Maddie whispers.

“Eddie, please think about this,” Buck says softly. “Please—”

Eddie cuts him off by taking a step forward. They all hold their breaths. And then, to their surprise and his own, Eddie wraps his arms around Albert in a tight hug. “You are such an asshole.” His voice is tight and strangled. “But thank you.”

“Okay, can someone please explain what is going on?” Chim asks. “We’re kind of losing our minds over here.”

“I think we might need some more drinks for this,” Hen says, right before she and Maddie share a look.

“Amen, sister.”

Later, after everyone is caught up and thoroughly impressed—

“I studied game theory in college,” Albert explains.

“Glad to see you’re doing something good with that fancy education of yours,” Chim says sarcastically.

“I can’t believe I didn’t know about this,” Maddie says, incredulous. “Who knew you were such a good actor?” She smacks her little brother on the arm and chuckles at Buck’s yelp.

—and Buck and Eddie finally have a moment to themselves, Buck asks him, “So I can relax and trust that you’re not going to kick his ass?”

Eddie sighs and shakes his head. “I wanted to.”

“You had me worried there for a second.”

“Albert’s genius is what got me to stop being an idiot,” Eddie says softly. “He got us together, and you are the love of my life. I could never hate him for that.”

Buck makes a face, about to coo and aww at the ‘love of his life’ comment until Eddie continues. “You, on the other hand, you lied to me. For months. You manipulated me, made me feel like an asshole for hurting you. And this whole time, you were playing me. I think I’m owed some groveling now.”

Buck pouts and says, “My feelings were never a lie. I’ve been in love with you for years and I was getting desperate. You know, desperate measures and all.” His lips turn up a little and he wraps an arm around Eddie’s waist, tugging him close. “I’m so sorry, Eddie. Please don’t be mad at me. After all, I am the love of your life.”

Eddie grins and leans close, pressing their lips together for a gentle kiss.

“Yeah, you really are.”

Fin.

[that-scouse-wizard]

13) Glammed up

A/N: Day thirteen of @deity-prompts fluff challenge. Enjoy some more Rowan and Tulip, plus David being Rowan’s wingman. 

“Don’t be soft.” = “Don’t be dumb.”

Word count: 919

Hogsmeade. 19th of March, 1988.

Whimsical Wizardwear, a shop in the village of Hogsmeade, essentially the more up-to-date version of Gladrags Wizardwear under the same parent company. Frequently visited by students looking for formal clothes for such events. Stocked with every sort of garment in any shade from garish hues of orange and yellow to more neutral tones of blue and brown. Two floors and a basement provided ample space for displays. Though thronging with students whenever there was a formal arrangement, at the moment, just two people occupied the shop aside from the proprietor.

David Willows and Rowan Khanna.

The two were best friends, ever since meeting just before they began their first year at Hogwarts. Throughout the years they had tackled the cursed vaults together, and regularly came to each other for advice in other matters. In this case, relationships. 

It had been a surprise to David when Rowan accepted Tulip Karasu’s invitation to the Celestial Ball. Sure Rowan was partnered with Dennis, Tulip’s pet toad in the frog choir but he hadn’t expected it to go further than a friendship between the two. Though to be fair, he had the excuse of dealing with the curse currently afflicting the school to not notice.

Now that he had, well of course he was going to support her!

This particular visit to Hogsmeade was about preparing her for her first proper date with Tulip. It was only to Madame Puddifoots but Rowan wanted to get dressed up for it and not in her Celestial Ball dress, it needed to be a surprise.

She walked out of the changing room wearing a sleeveless, sea-green dress, the skirt of it reached her ankles. It was tied together with sash around the waist. 

“So, what do you think of it?” David asked her honestly.

“Hmm,” Rowan hummed unsurely, “I’m not sold on the sash... but I’ll just get it.” She continued.

“What?” David exclaimed in surprise, “Don’t be soft Ro, that’s the first dress you’ve tried on. I once saw you sort through at least fifty different book bags and didn’t buy any of them because you thought the straps were too weak.”

“I come prepared with a lot of books, any book bag I get needs to be strong.” Rowan retorted, “Look, David I just don’t want to keep Tulip waiting.”

“You’re date is at half-three right?” He asked, Rowan nodded. David pointed towards a grandfather clock in an alcove of the shop, “It’s half-ten now, we’ve got time. At max, we’ll stay until one, take you to the castle for a quick brush up and then get you back here in time for your date.” 

“Okay.” Rowan shrugged in defeat, seeming a little forlorn.

“Statistically speaking, how confident are you that your current outfit is going to wow Tulip?” He asked.

“... Thirty percent.” Rowan finally admitted.

“Then let’s get it up to ninety-nine at least, yeah?” David said encouragingly.

“Yeah.” Rowan said, her mood improving as a smile tugged at her lips.

“You’re going to surprise her, you’re going to impress her, you’re going to make Tulip Karasu say, “Wow, I’m dating the best-dressed witch at Hogwarts.”” Rowan had to laugh at David’s enthusiasm.

“Okay, until I’m ninety-nine percent certain, I won’t step a foot outside the door.” Rowan agreed.

----------

Tulip waited at Madam Puddifoot’s Tea Shop. Her date with Rowan was supposed to begin ten minutes ago, Tulip really hoped she was just running late. When Dennis had first suggested she speak to Rowan all the way back in September during the frog choir auditions, she had been sceptical.

Sure, Rowan was nice enough but the only time the two of them interacted was when they assisted David in taking on the Vault of Fear. Her ruse to get Madam Pince out of the way had been quick-witted but other than that she didn’t know why Dennis would suggest her.

That uncertainty had been shattered when Rowan had worked up the confidence to sing in front of her. She had the voice of an angel, then she had proved herself further by playing with Dennis. 

Even after she acquired a spot on the frog choir, they wanted to hang out together outside of that. Rowan actually made her want to study properly and in turn, she helped Rowan enjoy a bit of mischief. After the Celestial Ball had finished, they had kissed. Tulip couldn’t help herself, they had sat down together in the courtyard, both still in their dresses. She had pushed a wayward strand of hair out of Rowan’s face, yet she kept her hand on Rowan’s cheek. She leaned in, hesitated and then the gap was sealed when Rowan. Their lips had met in a chaste kiss, Tulip smiled at the memories.

Now she wanted to take it further, make it known they were together but...

The ringing of the tea shop’s bell broke her from any negative thoughts, “Sorry I’m late!” A familiar voice exclaimed. Tulip’s breath hitched in her throat, Rowan looked beautiful. She was dressed in a dark blue suit, over a white shirt, a dark green tie and pocket square complimenting the other colours nicely. Her long, raven locks had been curled, yet still fell to shoulder length.  

How silky smooth would it feel if she ran her fingers through Rowan’s hair?

“I hope I’m not too late.” Rowan said sheepishly, finally sitting down.

Tulip finally gave her a response with a reassuring smile, “Not at all, you’re right on time.”

[ailuronymy]

Book Club: Tallstar’s Revenge, chpt. 10-18 overview.

Human voices as heard by cats, courtesy of two experts in the field of ailurolinguistics:

"ghghtaa'ppgthannneetltssssa!” - S. 

“Nnghavva'thalpssasann!” - K.

This week we’re discussing this chapter through these nine questions. Please feel welcome to do the same and @ailuronymy + use the tag #ailuronymy writing challenge. Happy reading and I’m looking forward to seeing your feelings about this book.

1. First impressions? 

K. Everyone has many important discussions, that actually hold zero weight at all. Many things happen for absolutely no reason. I'm in pain.

S. REAL.

2. How did you feel reading this section?

S. Emotionally conflicted. There's always some frustration, but there were also moments of genuine joy, which was a very welcome surprise.

K. But for real: pleased to see some genuine growth and goodness from my favourite characters, but so upset at the bad directions taken.

3. What chapter did you find most interesting/moving/effective, and why?

S. I keep forgetting to mark things out by chapter in my notes, but I feel like the time Tallpaw spends with Reena really brought me the most pleasure to read.

K. I think I got the most out of the first half of Chapter Twelve, the Gathering. I loved the back-to-back of Heatherstar making good choices, the new warrior trio jumping around and being sweet, and Dawnstripe Finally Giving Us Some Good Fucking Advice. K. Honorary shout-out to Tallpaw finally telling his dad off in Chapter Eleven though.

S. YES. 

4. What chapter did you find least interesting/effective/most frustrating, and why?

S. Most frustrating is absolutely the aftermath of both Brackenwing's death and later Sandgorse's. I was not coping with how stupid and unreasonable everyone was being, but in a way that felt entirely manufactured, and not actual grief.

K. Chapter Eighteen pissed me off to see Tallpaw be taken in such a tangent. Like, everyone else I can kind of ignore because I wasn't expecting Windclan to be very good about any of it since Erin's doing her bullshit.  K. But Tallpaw.... I was hoping Tallpaw would be better.

5. Is there a passage that stuck in your mind–for good, or not-so-good reasons? What is it, and why did it stand out? Try breaking it down and analysing what this passage does and how.

S. I really loved Dawnstripe's conversation with Tallpaw. That stood out to me as basically unique in Erin Hunter's writing so far, especially in this book.

K. “Tallpaw stiffened. Did Sandgorse think he’d change his mind about becoming a moor runner now that he’d been underground?” K. I loved seeing him just finally Snap. K. Not to mention the very real young gay feeling of having that dread in your stomach, of going "Oh no, am I going to have to keep this up?"

6. Have your feelings changed towards any character in this next section? What caused this change?

K. Sandgorse lost all rights! K. Can't believe I almost liked him for a second, the hope for an okay dad got me there.

S. It’s okay. I was too jaded to be taken in, but your optimism isn't a weakness. S. I hate their relationship and I Love that Sandgorse died but God I Hate Tallpaw's reaction to that so much. It's so jarring and feels way off from reality.

K. Also: I would die for Doespring/Stagleap/Ryestalk, I adore them so much. Same with Reena, she can stay.

S. For me, the biggest change is that I'm losing a lot of affection and attachment to Tallpaw the longer he keeps up this Sandgorse whinge. Like, I was ecstatic when Sandgorse died, but now that Tallpaw's only personality trait is being miserable about Sandgorse, it's really like he never left and I hate that passionately. 

7. How do you feel about pacing in the book so far? Is the story moving too fast, too slow, just right? Why do you feel this way?

S. Way too slow.

K. The pacing is dry and slow and sad. So much of what's happened so far could be condensed and written so much better.

S. You could cut out a solid half of what's written and it'd be a better story. It's all fat right now, where it could be lean and tasty, medium-rare spiced narrative.

8. How do you feel about the visitors in this section? Is it a new element you really like, or does it feel out of place? Share your thoughts on this new development!

K.  From the notes: Okay, I don’t like what’s happening with the visitors and I don’t think they should even be here, but I do think that they seem like fun little people. Like for all intents and purposes the visitors should not exist, but boy am I always glad to see characters I don't hate!

S. Oh, that's so interesting! I actually feel quite positively to the idea of Windclan's regular visitors, and it's definitely something in my canon. I don't like any of how canon's handling it (surprise, surprise) but I like that this idea has been broached, and it feels entirely right to me that Windclan is the one to do it.

K. I don't disagree with you there, I think for me it's just frustrating seeing how the Erins are introducing and handling it that's bugged me. Like, Windclan is on the outskirts of everything and it makes total sense that they'd be much more likely to run into like... farmcats and the like more than other clans. That doesn't bug me. It's just like... literally everything about how they've been set up and how secretive things are and blah blah blah that makes me lose it a little. 

S. Totally. I’m with you. 

9. If you could change one significant moment in this section–a piece of dialogue, an event, a bit of world-building–what would you want to change, and what do you think would be the ramifications of that for the rest of the story?

K. THE CLAN NEEDS TO STEP UP FOR TALLPAW, END OF STORY K. But yeah no, there's lots of shit that needs fixing but DAMN if the clan doesn't need to stand up for Tallpaw and defend and support him. Boy takes SO much blame and he deserves none of it.

S. I honestly wonder how much difference there would be if Palebird had more support/Brackenwing half-adopted Tallpaw (you know, the way queens are said to co-raise kittens but never do). Because this boy is so unloved and his self-esteem comes from feeling totally unwanted and undervalued, so he clamours for Sandgorse's approval because he doesn't get it from Palebird, but Sandgorse rejects him and makes it worse, so Tallpaw is stuck really craving validation and not really having any outlet to develop his sense of self or confidence in his own value and abilities. Obviously Dawnstripe is doing her best, but that's not a substitute for parental neglect and abuse.

K. Dawnstripe: Look at him! You fucked him up, is what you did. He has anxiety!

Final notes:

S. I knew Sandgorse was going to die because it was mentioned in some of the pages I looked at for the story I'm writing. And I thought he was going to be murdered by Sparrow, because that's how all the wikis talked about it.  S. So when he died of his own idiot hubris, I was like, "wait what" and kept waiting for it to be revealed that Sparrow killed him in the tunnel and then made it collapse to cover that up. S. So I thought it was going to be a story of Tallpaw Solves A Murder No-one Will Believe Was Committed. And that... didn't happen. He just got shitty and hateful. K. Tbh that would make more sense and also be leagues cooler than. Any of this S. Yeah! I thought it would be kind of dope and then Talltail would confront Sparrow and be like, "you're not worth it," and be the bigger man or whatever, that whole thing, learn the meaning of friendship or whatever, and go home.   S. Instead! Sparrow didn't do it, so now Tallpaw's just a wreck out of control lashing out at everyone and decides to hunt down someone to kill them for not dying and/or saving his outrageously shitty dad. S. To me, a much more likely story is Tallpaw experiencing guilt because he's relieved that Sandgorse's gone and he's like, 'oh my god I'm a bad person I shouldn't want my dad to be gone.' Like that's a trauma narrative that people who've, you know, experienced significant abuse can actually relate to. K. Not to mention that like. Before Sandgorse dies, his one action is to blame his son for being awful at everything and to pretty much disown him.  K. But YEAH, lets feel Sad for That Guy

K. [Shrewpaw] was bad before and frankly I am beyond tired with him now. S. He has no real narrative purpose, is what peeves me. I know that's a bit highbrow for an Erin Hunter story, but like. You should be thinking about function in a story, especially one for children, because in children's lit., you don't really have the space for excess. You should keep the story trim and clean. S. Giving Erin Hunter more pages, like they do in these super editions, enables their worst habits, which is the fact I don't think they consider function like ever. So you have all this... flabby, pointless dialogue that doesn't move anything forward or reveal any new characterisation.

K. Oh, some other choice notes from the Gathering: K. Stagleap: Hey bro, come see this hot Riverclan babe with me.  Tallpaw, gay: Uhh I’m very interested in the announcements, actually, K. Dawnstripe accidentally playing wingman for her apprentice is coincidentally very funny. “Tallpaw didn’t like the way the young tom was eyeing him—like a hunter assessing prey.” Hmmmmm Okay Buddy, S. I was genuinely so charmed by Stagleap's crush on Shimmerpelt. That felt real and true and I loved it. The rest of the gathering let me down a lot, but like. Erin Hunter gatherings always do. They don't know how to let a scene breathe. K. Stagleap, Ryestalk, and Doespring are so charming. I love when they come onscreen. They inject a lot of cute moments into a very dour book. K. Gatherings are my favourite in concept so I always get SO excited to read them. But they almost always suck.  S. It's wild to me that Erin Hunter is never like, "maybe fun is fun." I do resent it. S. I love the organised chaos of a gathering, and how different it is to literally every other part of warrior life. It's something that I actively have to resist putting in stories, because I always want to do it even when it adds nothing to what I'm telling. It's just so fun to write and to read. S. Literally one of my notes is just "Ahh!!! A Gathering! Finally!" K. Me too!! Mine was "GATHERING TIME, GATHERING TIME, my favourite part of any book!" S. [dabbing frantically because cats are going to hang out under a full moon] K. Like if you were going to let a scene have its moment and play it out, it would be the Gathering. Like I'd love for the announcements to happen and then they all just mingle and enjoy themselves until the moon clouds over. Instead of Announcements, Moon Over, Scene Done, Go Home.  S. Gathering speedrun: if you clip through the deputy, you can skip the personal connection and go right to the leaving while being kind of bored and miserable.

S. [after Sandgorse’s suggestion of hiding from invaders in the tunnels or using them to run away] why. [Raiders are] literally not going to be like, “oh I guess Windclan’s not here and we should go home,” they’ll be like, “great Windclan’s not here, this IS our new home.” Sandgorse talks a big game about not being a coward, but the tunnellers’ solutions are literally only “just hide in a hole” or “run away.” S. I got so mad about that. The tunnellers being like, "we were doing important tunnel business to protect the clan, we could be here to protect the clan," and they get chewed out for that and Sandgorse has the brass balls to be like, "well our tunnels will save lives." S. I'm like, will they? S. Or will you die in one in a pathetic final display of defiant idiot masculinity?

S. That said, something that did chatter my suspension of disbelief like cheap glass: the visitors' names. K. They’re bad.  S. Algernon???? K. ALGERNON K.  ALGIE??? S. "They were named by twolegs" please say psyche S.  I just... cannot believe in a world where a cat hears some word humans repeat at them a lot, and goes, "that's my name, I will introduce myself to other cats using this sound." Instead of like... getting a name from other cats, or picking a name for themselves. Especially if the cat doesn't live with those humans. S. It's more real to me for a cat to be like "oh yeah that's what the humans think my name is, they don't speak cat very well but they're trying," than being like, "I will take that garbled junk as my name." K. I love that so much better. S. I find it so funny that cats would hear human languages basically like cthulhu speech, and be with a friend like, [listens] Human in the garden: ghghtaa'ppgthannneetltssssa! Cat: "hold on, my person is calling, I need to check on them." Cat, returns: "It's fine, they forgot where the door was so I showed them. What were you saying?" K.  Cat: "Are you good?? Do you need assistance?" Human: Nnghavva'thalpssasann! Cat: "Ohh, you want pets. Here, I can give you some chin rubs. You like those? God, you're so stupid and I love that about you." S. Cat: "my humans are so smart, they know about seven words, kind of." S. Cat: "I call that one 'Very Tall Getter of Things From the Shelf' and I call that one 'Cuddles Me Warmly.'"

[hes-writer]

Harry and Y/N are best friends

Summary: Y/N likes Harry, but he has a girlfriend

Warnings: some angst

Word Count: 2.6k

Harry and Y/N were a power couple. They weren’t even a couple, they were just best friends. Attached to the hip, some would say and it was true because whenever you see Harry, there’s a large possibility that Y/N would be popping up from somewhere only a few minutes later. She was everywhere he was and it was the same for him. It wasn’t a surprise to see a world-famous pop star trailing behind Y/N when he decided that it would be a good idea to sit in on her classes. Her university was quite fond of Harry since it meant that their title would be on the headlines and suddenly, there was a peak in applications being processed by the administrators. It was quite funny, really. Seeing Harry in casual clothes and not in his well-known glittering suit, bell bottom pants, and revealing jumpsuits was quite an eye-catching moment. Not only did it make him blend in –as much as he could–, it only made him more attractive to Y/N. Made it feel like she and he had a chance at something, it made him retract from his godly level and stoop down to hers.

So maybe Y/N had a teensy crush on Harry, she was quite fond of the green-eyed boy ever since he had bumped into him at a coffee shop. And it wasn’t even that Y/N didn’t try to stop her feelings from growing because she did—she really did. It was hard granted that he was probably, if not, the most amazing person she had ever met. He was nice and kind and it made her heart melt every time he bent down to his knees to talk to her little cousin who could barely waddle her way to him while he held a cookie in his hand. He’s also too sweet, especially when a date failed to show up at her apartment, one that she was really looking forward considering that it was her first one after a very long dry spell of abstaining from love and relationships. That was when she realized that maybe the reason why she didn’t feel the need to scavenge for a long-lasting relationship was that Harry was always there for her.

He made time for her on his super busy schedule when even her own friends barely checked in on her. When he was in Paris on tour, he immediately called her after the show to babble on about the ‘funniest story ever’ (as he put it) because it was too hilarious not to share even though it wasn’t at all funny in any sense. But of course, his voice was too thrilled and exhilarated and she felt so special that he called her about it made Y/N laugh and snicker at his deep voice transmitting through the phone. He mentioned that he wished they could do a video call, but unfortunately, her apartments’ tower was knocked down by some large bird that messed up the internet signal all over the whole building, and Harry was sad because he ‘won’t get to see your lovely face’. Her heart pounded when she heard those words, albeit a little static-y, and it left her speechless that she didn’t even realize that Harry had already moved on to another topic.

And oh god, she wished that she made an excuse about an essay being due in a couple of days that she procrastinated so hard on, or maybe her neighbors’ dog and kitten were making really annoying sounds through the thin walls because maybe then she wouldn’t have to hear Harry’s bubbly voice talk about a woman he had met. It was still early on, that conversation. Y/N had only accepted that she had feelings for him a couple of weeks prior and she had somehow talked herself into confessing her feelings to him when he came back from the tour which ended in two months. She thought that two months was enough to get over him, even when they weren’t together, so she tried to put herself out there. She met new people at the community center where she enrolled in yoga classes in the morning and beginner Zumba at night. It kept her busy and a little more athletic and her Zumba instructor was a really adorable guy that always made sure everybody in the class was feeling mentally up for the activities. She definitely wasn’t complaining, but even though her eyes were set on him, Darren; her heart was completely Harry’s.

Y/N thought that someday maybe they’ll have their own chance at love. And she believed it more and more as days passed and the distance between them (he was still on tour) seemed non-existent when the most probable thing happening was that they’d drift off into their own different worlds, but no. The relationship, friendship, that Harry and Y/N built grew into something stronger that Harry was appalled at it. He was alone in his hotel room, laying on his bed after being on the phone with Y/N for the past couple of hours when he realized that the friendship they had lasted longer than his romantic relationships, and thickened only by distance, not frayed it like the ones he had had with others. He swore he felt his heart flutter at the thought of her smile, but he denied it– not when a knock sounded on his hotel room door briefly before the sound of a key swiped the lock system. Before he knew it, Luna was diving into the bed with him.

“She’s so pretty,” Harry murmured, and this time it was a video call. Not only did Y/N have to suffer hearing him say the most amazing things about Luna, but she also had to see his dreamy face, mocking her.

“Must be nice,” Y/N joked.  It was the truth too, who could blame her? And who was she kidding thinking that he’d go for someone as plain as her?

“S’got the best jokes too, funny.” He continued, not paying mind to her slightly bitter tone. “Think ‘m gonna ask her out,”

This time, she took the chance to escape before things could escalate into something worse.

—-

Turns out, he went through with his plans and asked Luna out with Y/N’s advice as his metaphorical wingman. She didn’t think that he would do it because he was significantly affected by his most previous relationship; he didn’t let anyone in, not even her. It was a drunken confession, probably a huge mistake on Y/N’s part. She remembers calling him after she had had a couple of drinks. Slurring her words together, entangling them but one sentence was still coherent enough to understand.

“I love you, Harry” She recalled herself saying.

It wouldn’t have hurt her as much if he just plainly said that he didn’t like her back either, that he only saw her as a friend. She would’ve understood it and maybe she’d take a step back to distance herself from him because she thought that she came on too strong. She really would’ve. But the fact that he said,

“Thank you, but I just don’t think I’m ready to be in a relationship, Y/N”

Was a real heartbreaker for Y/N. The following day, her head pounded as the memories of the night before slowly came into comprehension for her. She cried a bit, but she didn’t let herself dwell too much. Said to herself that when Harry comes back in a week’s time, she would act like nothing had happened. Y/N would do everything in her ability to make sure that she acted the same as she did before he left. She didn’t want to lose her friendship with Harry, and if it meant that the closest thing she’d ever be to him was a best friend, then she will be the bestest best friend ever.

Except to find out that he had totally lied to her about not being ready to be in a relationship because the next time Y/N saw Harry was at the airport. It was an agreement between them, that she’d always drop him off at the airport whenever he left the country, and that she’d always be standing front and center with a bag of his favorite snacks in the middle of the ‘Arrivals’ section to greet him home. But he wasn’t alone, he strode amongst the striped-carpeted floors, a duffel adorned on his right shoulder, and Luna clinging on to him on the other side. When they were near enough, Harry’s hair was exceptionally messy and a smidge of lipstick stained the collar of his white shirt and ‘is that a cum stain on his pants?’

“Y/N!”

She blinked to get the disgusting thoughts out of her mind and smiled up at him.

“Hey, you.” Y/N took a step forward, closer to Harry to give him a welcome back hug. She could see him try to move his arm away from Luna’s grasp— assuming it is her, she’d never actually seen her. He hugged her tightly, both of them inhaling each others’ scent from months of being away from each other.

“I’ve missed you, H”

“Missed you too, lovie” He mumbled against her hair.

Luna coughed slightly, causing them to break apart.

“Got you your favorite snacks, you better have picked a movie for us to watch,” She stated, holding up the bag to eye level so he could see the contents through the transparency of the item. And yes, it was a sad attempt of luring him into her. “I’m Y/N, by the way. Are you coming with us too?”

“I’m Luna and uh …” The blonde girl trailed off, looking at Harry who was currently nibbling on his lip.

“About that Y/N, Luna and I are gonna crash at her place,” He began, and Harry couldn’t bear to look at her face slowly dropping at his words. “Maybe I can take a rain check,”

“But Harry, we always do this! It’s tradition,”

Harry opened his mouth to defend himself but Luna interrupted him before he could utter another word.

“Har, the car’s here,” She tugged on his arm again, pulling him in the direction of the exit. “See you, Y/N,”

--------

The next time they saw each other was a complete coincidence. Y/N was running some errands before the weekend, dropping by the grocery store to buy the necessities and snacks to binge on for a relaxing weekend. She just wished that Harry would be with her, but he couldn’t because Luna wanted to spend time with him. That’s what he said, and if Y/N was being honest--- she didn’t know if it was true, if she should believe him blindly because he hasn’t been acting like a good best friend lately. It was hard adjusting to Harry when he first left for the tour, but Y/N always kept the thought that he would come back eventually in the back of her mind to keep herself from reeling off-track. In short, she didn’t know how to live her life without Harry by her side considering that he has been with her for the past years; letting go of somebody you’ve known for that long is a difficult task. Yet, here she was strolling down aisles alone in silence when he would usually be bumping his hip against hers in a teasing manner. Or maybe Harry would look at her with a face of disappointment every time she took the initiative to get snacks and then returning with an armful loaded with sugar and sodium. When she did that, he would push the cart speedily, making her run to catch up with him just so she could drop the items in the metal cart. He’d put up a fight all the time being a health nut and all, but eventually, Harry couldn’t help but give in to her doe eyes and small pout that he found so adorable; he couldn’t resist. She was way too cute for her own good, and he couldn’t believe that he even thought of not giving her anything she wanted.

That was before when they actually spent time together. She didn’t know why but Y/N seemed to be noticing him first every time they have an encounter. The hypothesis proved to be more real than she’d thought because there he was again; bumping his hip with Luna and seeing her small bum do it back etched a crack in her heart-- that used to be her. Y/N felt like she was making a bigger deal out of this than she should, but she can’t help but feel hurt when she realized that she was slowly being replaced by another woman without a second thought. 

“Y/N!”

Someone yelled her name and of course, it was Harry with Luna trailing behind him, a smile on both their faces. She smiled too.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, wrapping an arm around his girlfriend and Y/N can’t help but let her eyes linger at the place they made contact. 

“Just doing some shopping for the weekend,” She started but quickly wavered when she noticed that Harry’s attention wasn’t even on her. “... you know,”

“Oop, sorry. Luna and I are gonna have a movie night and dinner. You wanna join us?” 

She couldn’t be mad at him with the way his tone softly caressed her heart; maybe she was just whipped, but he looked and sounded genuine. And she could see that Luna was smiling at her invitingly as if to say that she didn’t mind her joining them, but she knew deep inside that although she was physically in the presence of Harry, knowing that his attention and feelings were for someone else was enough to make her shake her head at his offer.

“Sorry H, got to catch up on some stuff. Maybe next time,” 

Maybe next time, she thought, until they eventually lose touch of each other and those were probably the last words that they’‘ say.

-----------

Y/N went back home that day pretty down in the dumps. Like she said, ‘it was a tradition’ between them and they haven’t missed a celebration since they’ve established it but Harry’s actions made her feel insignificant and compared to Luna, she was essentially diminished to a second priority in Harry’s life.  She’s not putting the blame on anyone he was busy, she was busy and their schedules didn’t match up. Except they did; because Y/N always made time for Harry and he used to do the same for her. Their weekly routines ended when Harry took the first rain check, and then the second and eventually, he didn’t even try to make it up to her after missing friend dates. He said that Luna wanted to do something during that time, or Luna was feeling sick and asked for him to stay by her side.

She couldn’t even blame Luna for ruining her chances with him because she was too nice and innocent to be put in the middle of her feelings for Harry. It turns out that Luna was actually really kind, except that instance at the airport where she explained that she was jet-lagged when they interacted at the supermarket. So in summary, Luna embodied the perfect girl for Harry. Nice, kind, pretty, and who could forget funny. Y/N guessed that she was smart too.

In a perfect world, Y/N would’ve had the courage to confess-- again-- but maybe when the circumstances were a bit better than they were before. Maybe he would actually reciprocate her feelings, and maybe he wouldn’t have met Luna because he had decided that his heart belonged to Y/N back home.

Part 2 

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still trying to figure out which series i’ll enjoy writing more

If you like it, shoot me a message, drop by my inbox or reply! :D

[keepyourpantsongohan]

Ayesha Liveblogs Free! S3

I will never get tired of Makoto offering Haru a hand out of the water

OMG I guess some things do change Makoto’s been dunked and I kinda love it

“I’m never gonna be a normal person” wow who is this this Goth Diet Haru

I love the phrase “hot minute” actually thank u for ur teen slang Asahi

Offering people his lecture notes and texting back right away will anyone ever be as good as Makoto? Trick question no

“I’m still young and innocent” “That’s a weird thing to say” I love that Haru’s meeting a bunch of people who aren’t used to his antics

This flashback seems to indicate that Haru felt Some Kinda Way about Ikuya which is weird because they look almost the same

“Don’t worry too much about the family” LMAO Sosuke has received a blessing from his cousin to follow Rin to Australia 

“Just inferior copies of Ikuya” that’d be more meaningful if Ikuya had done anything other than stare broodingly

It’s telling that the Iwatobi team is dressed like the Wiggles in this outro

All this outro really told me is that they aren’t really that good at differentiating main character design

“We have to try not to spoil them too much” I approve of Ikuya’s brother and his co-parenting buddy

“I’m not going to move ever again,” said Asahi, with the full confidence of a twelve-year-old boy who knows absolutely nothing about anything

Okay but for real Ikuya and Haru straight up look like siblings this weird rivalry energy on top of that fact is a little bit Much

[Rose and Rosie voice] It’ll never work out their hair is the same colour  

“Is Haru the guy who was all dressed up and riding a camel in the recruiting video we saw?” UNBELIEVABLE their Arabian Nights outro from S1 was actually their recruitment video Iwatobi do u take constructive criticism

“I’ll even be good enough to compete against you” how many rivals does one young man really need my god

Hey Trenchcoat Man maybe introduce yourself before telling these teens how to live their lives

Dude you’re so controlling trying to prevent Ikuya from seeing his friends

Ahhhhh I love Haru being in touch with his emotions and apologizing to Ikuya tbh I give Makoto and Rin a lot of the credit for his ability to communicate lmao 

“I’d prefer you didn’t keep him too long” listen I get where you might be coming from since Haru hurt Ikuya’s feelings but also stop that

“Thought I’d give you a wake-up call” I really don’t like the vibe of Hiyori

“Japanese guy! Friend of yours, maybe?” An accurate representation of what it’s like to hang out with white people lmao

There’s a different vibe from a teenager who giggles about swimmers’ muscles to an adult swim coach who is coaching swimming at a university giggling about swimmers’ muscles put that away Mikhail

Hiyori gives me the straight up heebie jeebies every time he opens his mouth

I can’t read Japanese but I have to assume Rin was gonna call Haru and reminisce about their bed sharing night lmao

Natsuya is some kinda Swimming Capitalist Nomad I’m not mad about it

“How many of these dreams do you have?” that’s valid lmao Rin has #calledout for being a rival slut

“His face told me that what matters most to him is not here” I can’t tell if this is a reference to Ikuya or to Natsuya’s white-haired rival-friend-boyfriend-probably

You know what, in the context of this show: Boyfriend 

“Hey, calm down. Listen, Archerfish--” HARU PLS

I don’t know Misae but the fact she calls her boyfriend Archerfish has already won me over

Hiyori would you fucking stop interfering this isn’t fair to Ikuya

“Ikuya’s too busy to waste his time reminiscing on childish things” well that should be Ikuya’s decision shouldn’t it like not 2 get 2 real but this is all the markers of an abusive relationship if someone does this to you please tell someone

God this stubbly weird man and his ominous advice STILL without any introduction 

“I’m getting sick of hearing you speak for Ikuya like you’re his damn boss” ME TOO ASAHI

YOU CANNOT DECIDE WHO IKUYA’S FRIENDS ARE HIYORI YOU ABSOLUTE SHITPRETZEL 

HA Ikuya knows you’ve been giving the boys the runaround fuckweasel

“If I swim with Tono, maybe it’ll help me understand him” Makoto coming after jerks with his best weapon: empathy <3

“People you swim with all seem to end up suffering, don’t they” LISTEN YOU ASSBANANA IT’S NOT HARU’S FAULT THAT PEOPLE GET OBSESSED WITH HIM HE’S JUST A GOOD SWIMMER

Omg I enjoy the drama of Sosuke interacting with the one (1) person in Japan who has seen Rin lately 

“I have to admit, I’m a little disappointed there isn’t a single pudgy person here” like I know this is probably gonna be a running gag for their opposite body preferences but it’s also a self-burn for the creators of this show only drawing different scales of one body type

I really do love that Rei is swim team captain now my boy has come so far

Oh Romio is there anyone in this swim universe that doesn’t have some kind of Traumatizing Swim Experience 

“Think about what your reason for jumping in is” Sosuke’s advice sounds like beautiful nonsense I don’t know how that’s supposed to help him concentrate on start times

Lmao I love this Overbearing Friend Gesture of Shizuru and Nagisa putting seaweed on Romio and Rei’s plates without asking kjhfkghfghfk

“Actually, if you don’t mind, we have a proposition” $500 says that Nagisa and Rei are about to propose a relay race

Update from 8 minutes later: Someone owes me $500

“Can you tell how proud I am?” Natsuya is such a good big brother <3

 Hahahaha “a guy he wants to swim with again some day” Natsuya is also a good wingman for Rin lmao

Based on his inner monologue Sosuke should also be a swimming coach except in the vein of Cryptic Trench Coat Stubble Man who just offers random unsolicited advice to any teenage swimmer he passes by in the street 

“I’m so proud of you” jgjhgjhg Shizuru I love you and your tears for Romio

What kind of child welfare laws are there in Japan that Hiyori’s parents were allowed to just leave him alone in the park

“When I saw [Haru] again, the weakness I thought I left behind came flooding back to me” the moral of this story is that competitive swimming makes you gay

Ikuya used to be fun and sweet lmao what made you so broody my dude

Lmao @ Hiyori being mad that Ikuya thinks of Haru as his Prince Eric instead of him 

Wow I love Nao being a guiding force for this group of nerds

“I’m not hearting anything for you” Asahi understands Stranger Danger

It took Ryuji a solid six eps to even get a name u’d expect him to have a more important character connection than Rin’s Swim Coach’s Rival

“Then you should start swimming other stuff” I Love Misaki, Adopted Child of Haru and Makoto 

Well this wistful playground vibe has taken a strange turn

“It’s none of your damn business okay!!” TONO JUST GOT DUMPED HA

KJGHKJGH THE RAGE IN HARU’S VOICE ABOUT THE MACKEREL

Ryuji: He can just buy me dinner or something. I’m not picky. As long as it’s not mackerel

Haru [through gritted teeth]: I’m ready when you are

AH I LOVE KISUMI AND ASAHI BABYSITTING TSUKUSHI

“After all we’ve been through, why does it have to be like this?” U MADE IT LIKE THIS HIYORI

HAHAHAHAH Makoto and Ryuji had a standoff of wills and Ryuji lost

“Maybe it’s time for you to approach things more seriously” Nao has declared it’s time to stop sowing your wild oats and settle down Natsuya

Kazuma only shows up to remind Sosuke he is free to run away to swim whenever

“Hope you’re well” “Hey relax I’m not your dad” [Natsuya immediately begins acting like their dad]

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH GO HARU LEADING HIS CATEGORY

“I don’t think he’s all that bad of a guy” that’s Stockholm Syndrome Ikuya

I’m glad Ikuya is finally fucking having a meaningful conversation with his friends

“In the water I’m alone. No one’s gonna save me” Get therapy Ikuya!!!

Wow Haru joining a race purely to have an Emotional Confrontation with Ikuya is some kinda growth I’m just not sure what exactly

“That guy’s the only one anyone ever talks about” to be fair if your sample size is Iwatobi swimmers they are all a little in love with him

“That’s our BOYYYYYYYYYY” Aw Asahi <3 

Ghjkghk I love Makoto teasing Haru for being Ikuya’s hero

“Oh, you’re wise now?” AWWWW Ikuya is fun again good for him

 I know that Ikuya reaching out in friendship to Hiyori is supposed to be a sign of emotional security but I haven’t forgiven him for the way he’s manipulated Ikuya!!! Ur a seawitch not a Prince Eric!!! >:((((

I’m super thrown about them going straight from the qualifiers to the next race what will the last four episodes of this season be about

“I’ve been giving myself pep talks in the mirror. ‘I am a genius. I am a genius.’” HAHAHAHA I LIKE FUN IKUYA

“Looks like you beat me” “Just in free” Haru has released Ikuya into the universe for Hiyori and I don’t like it (for Ikuya’s sake) but that’s how it be I guess

How many siblings are there in the Mikoshiba family lmao there’s a new one every season 

“But gender doesn’t mean anything in a competition” I like u Lady Mikoshiba

“You mean you were Russian this whole time??” this is a lot to digest

I LOVE RIN’S PUDGY CAT STEVE LOL IS IT THE SAME IN JAPANESE

“The water likes you. I can tell” ALBERT PLS, Haru is already FULL-UP on homoerotic swim relationships

It’s killing me that they keep cutting to Makoto like Haru’s cheating on him though

Not to undermine the subplot of these last three episodes but hasn’t Haru... lost races before hgkjhgk

“I thought something soft and cute would help balance out that scary face of yours” omg STOP this cuteness 

Gghkhgk these flashbacks and Rin crying over Sosuke’s surgery are SO cute I never thought I would feel so proud of Rin way back in S1 he’s grown so much!!

Makoto being surrounded by ladybugs and butterflies like a wholeass Disney Prince

WHY are ALL of these swimming weirdos SOMEONE’S UNCLE

“You’re still as weird as ever, Haru’s the exact same way” I should start tracking how long in a conversation it takes characters to bring up Haru

Gnjghkjhg Makoto gets through to Haru in 0.5 seconds after two weeks of him ignoring his own coach. The power of fish metaphors and Love™

Kinda seems like they are setting it up like Makoto will also get to travel the world for swimming and let me say... I’m not mad about it

Update from like 2 minutes later: I WAS RIGHT

“That’s the evil king who wanted the magic lamp” the Arabian Nights references kill me every time 

Djkhdkjhd Ryuji labelling Mikhail in his phone as “Muscle Freak” that’s tru friendship

“You should say, ‘I’m totes hip with the kids, yo’” Ryuji pls 

“You’re so cute, you must be Iwatobi’s famous Kou” KHGKHGKJHKJ 3/3 MIKOSHIBA KNOCKOUT KOU

Awwwww Rei is so nervous for nationals my sweet baby boy

I ADORE that Rin and Haru are literally running across the city right before their most important meet bc they want to see their friends swim 

Rrgjhgr the one and only backstory in this show is former childhood friends and it applies to every single character

OMG Rei get his own flashback but with his boy Nagisa I love it

“I think he’d make a good rival for you actually” Makoto Tachibana: Rival Matchmaker

GOOD JOB BOYS U DID GOOD (ALSO TEAM PHOTO I WEEP)

“Try not to cry when I beat you” SOSUKEEEEEEEEEE

Wow this final episode is already clutching at my heart right out of the gate baby Haru 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Makoto letting four more boys pile into his one bedroom for the night bc he’s the Best Boy Alive

HJGHJKGH THIS EXCHANGE 

Mikhail: That’s what I call ‘totes hip with the kids’

Nearby youths: [Giggling]

Mikhail: [Soft indignant gasp] Ryuji!!

Natsuya and Ikuya have the cutest sibling relationship gjkghk THEY

The theme of this season is people hugging each other and crying over the lanes and I LOVE THAT 4 THEM

Rin and Haru and Makoto........... are good boys

“What is this, some kind of teen drama” that is exactly it, Rin

“He won’t stop talking about stupid crap like friendship and bonds” I love three (3) boys

Bonus: Out of Order Liveblog of Free! Take Your Marks + S3E0

Haru dropping his pants in Makoto’s apartment without the immediate context of them being near water was the most high stakes moment in this entire anime I had no idea where that was going

Haru leaving his apartment hunting until the day before he moves: Mood

Sidenote: Makoto and Haru going apartment hunting is domestic as HELL I love it

“The two of you are inseparable, huh?” “We’re friends, deal with it.” Let people be gay Kisumi 

Lmao @ Nagisa and Rei’s yoga pose video Iwatobi is the cutest swim team in the world 

“Then one day even those tears will dry out in the Tokyo desert” who hurt you, Ms. Amakata 

“Allow me to welcome you to Tokyo, the city where love and lust intertwine” Free! Love and Lust could really be a subtitle of this anime lmao

“I’m talking about the whole bunkbed situation, you know, top and bottom” lmao shout-out to Sloane for that one art

I love the wordless communication between Makoto and Haru (and for that matter, Sosuke and Rin) I’m so glad they worked things out

I’m also happy Rin and Kou are cool now they used to have quite a gap

“Rin wasn’t that honest with himself” rjghg Rin and Haru miss each other

“This is the one,” said Haru, next to Makoto, His Completely Platonic Best Friend Who Dreams About Them Sharing An Apartment and Dropping Trou

I LOVE STEVE THE FAT CAT. AN ICON. A BEAUTY. CHUNKY BABY

“The treasure is inside the red shark’s mouth” there is DEFINITELY a Rin joke to be made here and the writers knew it

I don’t know what I love about this more that Aii and Momo are TERRIBLE at scheming or that that they are throwing Rin and Sosuke together on White Day lmao

This team vacation... Sosuke giggling bc he was tickled... !!!!!!! THANKS

I’m loving all these teams getting presents for each other jkhgkjg

Oh am I finally going to understand this Momo and Capybara backstory

Lol @ Natsuya pouring his heart abt Nao to Sosuke wholly unsolicited

“What were you about to ask” “Oh, not anything important (I’ll wait for you Sosuke)”

OHHHHHHHHHH THE CHARM BACKSTORY SOSUKEEEEEEEEEE

Oh Christ alive am I about to watch the Arabian Nights recruitment film

Hhhgjgjhg I gather the only reason Haru got his license was to compete with Rin

“I’m the evil king who is after the lamp for his own selfish reasons” I hate this... but also... I love this???

“I am a mysterious peddler. I travel carrying mysterious bundles. While riding atop of my mysterious partner Chappy the Camel” HARU STOP

OH MAKOTO HONEY U POOR SOUL JHGKHFKJGH 

“Makoto. When I’m nervous I think about mackerel” I am going to expire

“I think the three of you should implement your own version of it” Fhjkhgk Haru is telling them to exploit their bodies for school recruitment but also that’s not really anything new so fair enough

Nagisa: Rei is Perfect Killer Muscles Handsome in my heart!!!!!!

“Maybe I’m never going to understand him” Omg @ The Jilted Middle School Exes of Haru Club

“How David had to give up his love.... And then Veronica, knowing they couldn’t see each other anymore” call me crazy but I think Rin is projecting his own issues onto A Rat’s Life LMAO

Tjehjkhkje Sosuke needing to call Rin bc he got lost on his way to the bathroom... Useless Husband Energy

HAHAH Rin is so upset thinking Momo and Kou are dating

At least Rin recognizes that he doesn’t get to decide who Kou dates he can only express his approval or disapproval

“Momotaru Mikoshiba is a man who lives by passion” gjhgjhg stop this

“Rin would never lose to a persimmon, ever!” MAKOTO R U OK

“You are not less than a persimmon!” THESE BOYS. U R SO DUMB BUT ALSO GET U A FRIEND LIKE THE IWATOBI SWIM CLUB

“It’s cool if you need to cry” “If you stay in the pool no one will ever notice your tears” I LOVE SOSUKE AND HARU TEAMING UP TO TEASE RIN

I also deeply appreciate that even though I’ve never heard their Japanese voices I know exactly who is saying what line in this outro just by dialogue and tone of voice

+

“I have a crippling fear of mascot costumes” “Then why did you take this job” kjhgkjhgkjh if that isn’t a work mood 

Wait... if Makoto is going to be the substitute wrestler... WILL HARU BE THE SUBSTITUTE MASCOT AHHHHHHHH

WAIT NO I HAVE GRAVELY AND HILARIOUSLY MISUNDERSTOOD MAKOTO IS GOING TO BE BOTH MASCOT AND WRESTLER

“Iwa means ‘boulder’ and ‘tobi’ means ‘black kite’ so it’s a boulder-headed bird!!” Well that’s more of an explanation for the appearance of the Iwatobi mascot than I ever expected, Nagisa

“You don’t have a crippling fear of mascot costumes, do you?” No but I have feeling Makoto is about to develop one

Oh it’s THIS FUCKPUDDLE who asked u to be here Hiyori

“I don’t exactly hate it” high praise Ikuya lmao

Thkjhtkjh I love Natsuya’s long distance relationship it’s sweet 

HAHAHA is the beak thing supposed to be a ploy so people see Makoto’s face

“I cannot let Haru see me like this” “Hi Makoto” HAHAHAHAH I LOVE THIS WHOLE INTERACTION AND ALSO HOW HARU JUST GOES ALONG WITH ALL OF IT

Also I don’t know how Makoto was planning to hide his identity after he was addressed as “Mr. Tachibana”

LMAO @ MAKOTO BEING RECOGNIZED BY HIS LEG MUSCLES I’M SCREAMING

“Hey Makoto, use a backstroke!!” HARU PLEASE

“Well done, you’ll be a great mascot someday” “Thanks? I think?” This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen and I loved it

Oh my goooood Haru bringing Makoto presents for his siblings.... they have ascended to the college relationship levels of Natsuya and Nao

Man Ikuya could not radiate stronger “leave me alone” vibes 

“Wow you boys make a dashing pair” you said it Suit Lady not me 

[ofcjessa]

I’m not good at intros! But hello, i’m sola (she/her) and i’m glad to be apart of this c: i’m twenty three and live in the eastern time zone! this my wild girl jessa, she’s a bit complex but who doesn’t love that! hit this like button and i’ll bother you!

*  ╰   it’s  an  absolute  dishonour  to  meet  you ,  jessica / jessa    .  at  twenty-two ,  you’ve  disgraced  the   blackwood   family  name  &  failed  to  carry  on  their  legacy  as  an  elite  .  as  a  result  ,  they’ve  requested  that  we  at  the  academy  do  our  best  to  rid  you  of  your  venality  ,  &  seeing  as  though  they’re  worth    95m  ,  we  dutifully  obliged  .  while  your  recklessness &  cunning  attributes  have  always  promised  failure  , it’s  your  spar  with  wrath  &  intentionally crashing your exe’s new car on his birthday that  got  you  committed  .  before  we  take  possession  of  you  ,  it’s  imperative  that  we  know  that  you  are  a  female who  prefers  she/her pronouns  ,  &  you  resemble  laura harrier  .  your  birthday  is  on mar 24th ,  making  you  a  bewildered aquarius  ,  &  you  were  transported  to  us  all  the  way  from  san diego, calfornia  .  at  the  present  time  ,  you  work  on  campus  at  the bookstore  .  go  ahead  &  purchase  that  extra  large  suitcase  ,  disgrace  .  you’re  going  to  need  it .  /  penned  by  sola  ,  23,  she/her,  eastern.

 Jessica parent's are important to people in this world, and at a young age she had to understand that. Her mother owns a microprocessor company, and her father was a famous actor in the 90s (and now )/humanitarian. There would be rare times where family was together, it seemed that they never had time for eachother...or for her. Growing up, she was a little loner. She had friends, but she only was around them because her mother insisted. When her parent's were away, she stayed with her grandparents or with her nanny.

⦁ During her childhood, Jessa had problems expressing her feelings. Jessa was always told to stay in her place as a child, but it was hard to listen when her parents we're never there. She once told her nanny that she respected her mother than her parents. Also, during school, Jessa was quick to anger because built up emotions. The only time her parents noticed was because of the nanny, so they sent her to therapy. The last straw was the outburst she had at her parent's dinner party. Just a small Jessa screaming at her parents, exposing the lack of existence. They we're so embarrassed that they sent her away to her grandparent's, and they spent a week with her...and bought her a bunch of things. Then they just kept buying her things she wanted to shut her up....and in the long run it wasn't a good idea.

⦁ Jessa  parents had her in the spotlight once in a blue moon. They will stick cameras in her face when her father does something good for the world, or her mother making into Forbes. They wanted to have this image as a humble family, and she will hold the image for them but Jessa was known as a different person outside of that.

⦁ Jessa can't remember not one time she missed a high school party. Even as a freshman, she gained popularity from her status. But she was never the go with the crowd kind of person. She loved parties, and going on adventures with her friends with out telling her parents. Jessa was the “wild child” with her friends .Never cared, reckless, just a venturesome kid who knew the dangers but just took her anyways because.....why the hell not. She had everything that she wanted.  Her  mother and father was concerned and tired of a behavior, and started to give ultimatums that they couldn’t keep themselves. After while she grew out of her partying days and started focusing on her future.

⦁ The reason her parents threw her to the academy, because she took it too far. Jessa knows how to push her parents buttons enough for them to quake until she's satisfied. Her boyfriend was someone that her parents liked since they set them up together. She liked him but in the long run he was used her to get close to her mother.

⦁ Jessa had her suspicion that he was cheating on her. She could never confront him on the matter because it never seem like the right time. Finally, she went to her mother to get a little advice, but her mother brushed it off as "paranoia". Jessa never spoke on it again, until she gathered more confidence to ask her exe herself. He told her what she wanted to hear, and she let him off until she started recieving texts.

⦁ A day before her ex's birthday, she received texts from the other girl who threaten to release the texts to social media. He was cheating on her also. Jessa was never the one to cry, but that's the first time she experienced heartbreak. There was times that night Jessa thought her plan was...unnecessary but...no one was going to make her cry.

⦁ On the night of his birthday, Jessa drove his new car...her parent's bought him to welcome into her mother's company, and crashed it in a ditch....with her in it. They founded her bloody on the side of the road with a cigarette in her mouth. And she was arrested for disturbing the peace. Luckily her father knew the chief of police, and they let her go the next day. It already got social media attention, and her parents had to make public apology. When she came back home, her bags we're packed and ready to go.

Jessa has the sweetest face, that could turn on you in a minute. She's embodiment of bothered in the outside, but probably planning your doom inside. She doesn't share too much about herself as she thinks it's easy to find out who she is. Her emotions is complex, sometimes it's better for her to keep her mouth close, but most of the time she's straightforward and never bite her tongue.  Jessa has times where he’s this down to earth, humble girl, and flip the script and become wacky and wild. But also having a lot of love to give, but doesn’t know how to show it.  Jessa is still reckless, and that's will be the hardest thing during her time at the academy. She's observant and calculative, she carefully weighs each word and action to her advantage.

Connections

1. partners-in-crime ; this is my favorite , not gonna lie . it sounds really lame but something like a wingman , but not really a sidekick . two characters ( they don’t have to get along extremely well !! ) who stick by the other’s side when in trouble && they often commit a lot of pranks/tricks on other people. seen by other characters as inseparable , this can be an alternative to a best friend of sorts ? or you could just have partners who don’t really get along well but still do things together because the dynamic is amazing !! and everyone just stares in awe at the two tbh because if you can become partners-in-crime with your enemy , you might as well be super dangerous !!

5. we always meet wtf ? ; ok i don’t have a proper name for this i’m so sorry !! anyway like two characters who meet everywhere they go ,, like at the bakery, on the street, on a train ,, wherever it is ,, you name it , they’ve met there at least thrice . and you can make it so it’s intentional or not ,, the freedom is yours to choose !! and it could go anywhere from here !!

7. childhood friends ; this one is super simple but can either be angsty or just nice ! maybe they could’ve been inseparable as children but grew apart because of their clashing personalities , or they can still be inseparable now , but one has a crush on the other. ( bonus points if it’s a same-sex friendship & one’s straight / hasn’t come out ) they could also have never spoken in a decade and it will either be a. awkward or b. super nice and fun and friendly !! this can go in so many ways i’m just gonna let your imaginations flow !!

8. friends-with-benefits ; this is fun — maybe they’re not exactly fucking , just kissing and always flirting with each other as they go . some can be shameless , others more secretive & choosing to keep it away from their other friends , while some just show it off to the whole world. not necessarily a relationship , but not just friends either — this label can encompass the grey area between the two distinct platonic & romantic relationships, so go wild !! have fun with this idea ! woo !

9. enemies ; ok so who doesn’t love an angsty rivals/enemies plot ? and to top it off , maybe one has a thing for the other , or maybe they’ve done something wrong to the other , like blackmail them , cheat with their partner etc etc. or it could just be a competition for popularity or being number one in sports , studies , anything tbh !! this is fun & a really refreshing connections from all the types of friends you’ve got !! maybe even ‘we’re enemies in front of you but we’re fooling around behind your back’ ?

10. sweethearts ; they don’t have to necessarily ever date , just two very liked people who everyone seems to think are dating , or are fooling around . maybe they haven’t , and actually resent each other , or they’ve fucked and loved it too much but a parent disapproves of the relationship , it can go so many ways i’m just going to leave it at this !!

11. work buddies/class; this is very generic & more like acquaintances , but can also lead to something cool , like ‘hey we’re supposed to be doing a project but instead we’re egging your neighbor’s house’ or ‘i really like you and i know a lot about you but i’m going to pretend i don’t know a thing because then it’ll get awkward fast’. something along the lines of ‘weren’t you the person i had a one-night stand with?’ would also be neat !!