#[[Fun fact: The file is named 'sick of sick of sick of' as I was listening to 君が嫌いだ (I'm Sick of You) by Deco*27 when I started on this]]

[justgreenfoothings]

'I don't want to love you anymore'

[readsaboutreid]

Permanent Solution (part II) | S.R.

contains: lots of discussion of suicide, other typical criminal minds violence, heavy heavy angst but a happy ending (i promise!), MORGAN GETS REDEEMED

look i'm sorry to put spencer and reader through so much pain T-T but also i wanted to use my own negative thoughts in a better way than just stewing in them so i adapted them to fit this

i also had someone request that i tag them so i guess if you'd like for me to tag you in future posts lmk and i'll add you onto a taglist! when you request just specify if you want to be tagged for a specific part 2 (or continuation of a specific story) or tagged for any future fics :)

Spencer jolted awake, the faint ringing of his alarm clock dragging him out of sleep. He sat up and rubbed his sore neck, wondering why his alarm sounded like it was in a different room. And then the memories from the previous night came rushing back to him, and he realized that it sounded that way because it was, in fact, coming from a different room. He had fallen asleep on the couch, Dr. Mewshroom taking up (Y/N)’s usual place wrapped in his arms. He checked his phone, no missed calls from her (but about 20 from Garcia, and only one voicemail, also from Garcia), and the clock on its little digital screen told him it was 6:30 AM. He got up and went into the bedroom, checking to see if maybe she had decided against waking him. Anxiety rushed through his veins when he saw the empty bed, and he called her phone again, which rang four times before going to voicemail.

“Hi, you’ve reached the voicemail of Dr. (Y/L/N), I can’t come to the phone right now but if you leave your name and number, I’ll return your call as soon as I am able. Thanks!” Beep.

He swallowed, struggling around the lump forming in his throat. He got a call from Hotch right as he started getting dressed for a day off (much earned after their last case). “I’m sorry, Reid, but I need you and (Y/L/N) here immediately. We have a new case, local, and we need all hands on deck for this one. I need you two in the briefing room in 20 minutes.” Spencer groaned internally at the prospect of back-to-back cases but confirmed that he’d be there. Then, he covered for (Y/N)’s absence. He said that she was sick and couldn’t leave the bathroom for longer than five minutes at a time and that seemed to be all the convincing Hotch would need. “Since the case is local that’s fine, she can join us when she recovers. But get here ASAP, Reid.” Click.

Spencer took a deep breath to calm the anxiety bubbling in his gut and chest. This wasn’t the first time this had happened, but it hadn’t happened since they had moved in together five months ago. Since she had stopped taking The Walk. He took a deep breath and assured himself that the chances of (Y?N) being missing were slim-to-none.

Spencer walked through the glass doors of the BAU and hurried to the round table, the last one of the team to enter. He nodded to Garcia, Prentiss (who looked like she had a very fun mystery date the previous night), Hotch, and Rossi. He pointedly ignored the greetings of both JJ and Morgan, the latter rolling his eyes slightly at the passive aggressive behavior.

“Reid, glad you could make it. Okay JJ, fill us in,” Hotch nodded to JJ, who stepped forward and placed a file in front of each of them.

"Where's (Y/N)?" Penelope asked Spencer, giving him a confused and worried look. He avoided her gaze as he muttered something about her having a stomach bug while he took his seat.

“Last night, a body turned up in the Anacostia River, near the 11th Street bridge,” JJ began as she placed files in front of each of them. Spencer’s blood ran cold, and his stomach dropped at her words. Not there, anywhere but there.

“It’s the third body they’ve found this month, and the timeframe between bodies seems to be around the same each time, one week. All the victims are female, mid-to-late 20s, and all three had a history of multiple suicide attempts," she explained, pulling up some of the crime scene photos on the projector in front of them.

“Hold up, JJ,” Morgan interjected, “if all three victims have a history of suicidal tendencies, how do we know these aren’t just run-of-the-mill suicides?”

“Each body was disposed of in a large black trash bag,” Hotch explained.

“That and they found evidence of torture as well as ligature marks on the wrist and ankle of each of the victims,” she elaborated, switching the slide to show some of the coroner’s photos. Electrical burns littered the torso of the victim on the slide, and Spencer's stomach churned at the sight. She looked so much like (Y/N) it was uncanny.

“Each victim has a similar build and they've all got the same hair cut and color,” Prentiss observed, “maybe a surrogate for the Unsub’s real target?” Please, no.

"Could be a mother or girlfriend," Rossi speculated. "Do the DC police have any idea of where he's taking his victims from, or is it just the dump site that they know? And are there any witnesses?"

"Until last night, the victims had all been taken from their homes with no witnesses on what the police assume were the same nights the previous victims' bodies had been dumped," JJ answered, "but last night he seems to have escalated and abducted someone straight from the bridge itself according to a nearby eyewitness, a man who had been out for a late night jog. They found this—" she clicked to the next slide, "at the scene, along with the victim's cell phone, both of which have been bagged as evidence and are at the local precinct."

Spencer’s world came to a crashing, burning halt. In the image on the screen was a rather generic looking, but still all too familiar, green knit cardigan and black cell phone with a cracked screen. No one else had seemed to put it together yet, except perhaps Rossi, who had shifted his gaze to Spencer.

"Do we know the identity of the most recent abductee—" Prentiss had started to ask before Spencer had to stand and run to the trash can to vomit.

"That's some stomach virus," Rossi mused, giving Spencer a concerned and knowing look.

"Reid? Are you alri—" Prentiss was cut off again, this time by Hotch.

"Prentiss, Morgan, go to the location where the bodies were found, and the most recent victim abducted. Track down the eye witness through any means possible and interview him. Rossi and JJ, you two head to the precinct. Reid, my office. Now." Hotch issued the orders with a deeper sense of urgency than usual. Spencer stood and shakily walked to Hotch's office after the rest of the team had hurried off, and as soon as Hotch entered and closed the door behind him Spencer’s legs gave out, leaving him to collapse onto his knees.

"Talk,” Hotch said, his tone dangerously quiet.

"(Y/N)'s not sick," he managed to choke out between the gasping sobs that now wracked his chest. "Di-didn't— come home— last night," his words were punctuated by gasping breaths. "M-my sweater— wearing my sweater—" he couldn't breathe, and his vision was like looking through a tunnel, the edges getting darker and pushing in more and more with each second, he struggled to inhale. He shouldn't have gone home last night. He should have gone after her.

"And you have reason to believe she was at the 11th Street bridge?" Hotch questioned.

"She used to walk there every night," Spencer jumped at the sound of Garcia's hollow voice coming from behind him. He hadn't even noticed her come in through his panicked haze. "When she first started here. It's why she always looked so tired those first five months, because she'd barely sleep. She'd walk there and pace back and forth along the bridge. Sometimes she'd just sit on the railing."

"Sh-she hasn't been there in months," Spencer's voice was hoarse, "but last night she— something happened that upset her and she walked off—" another round of sobs forced their way out. "Hotch, he's gonna—" Spencer reached for the trash can next to Hotch's desk and vomited again, and again.

"Spencer," Hotch knelt in front of the young agent, gently moving the trash can to the side. "Deep breaths. I know you're terrified. If you need to take yourself off the case, don't worry. We'll find her."

"Off the case?" He panted, trying to steady his breathing.

"Well you're clearly in no state to be doing much of anything. I don't think anyone on the team would blame you for having to step back on this one," Hotch reasoned.

"What? No, no I've got to find her!" He felt his head clearing a bit as his breathing finally returned to a normal rhythm, his vision slowly returning until he could see the full room properly.

"Reid, are you sure that’s a good idea—"

"Hotch," Spencer interrupted, "I can't just do nothing while he tor—" he reached for the trashcan and vomited yet again at the thought of what the Unsub was going to do to her, what he probably already was doing to her; he was honestly surprised there was anything left for his stomach to throw up at this point. “I can’t just sit by and watch, knowing that every second she’s there with him she’s being subjected to one sort of torture or another.”

Hotch paused and observed Spencer briefly before he rose to his feet and offered Spencer a hand to help him stand, as well. “Take a few minutes to compose yourself and then meet me at the SUV downstairs. We’ll head to the precinct together and you can fill me in on what happened that upset her last night. It might help with the victimology, which you’re going to be working on with me for now since you know (Y/N) better than anyone else.”

“Thank you, Hotch,” Spencer managed to force out, the words quiet and trembling. Hotch left the office and Garcia lingered, giving Spencer a look of pure sorrow.

“I— I’m so sorry, Spencer,” she began, an echo of their conversation outside of the bar last night.

“Garcia, this isn’t your fault,” he responded, continuing the reprisal.

“When you didn’t call me last night I—I just figured that you two had—I don't know—kissed and made up and fallen asleep, I didn’t realize that she never even made it home,” her voice broke on the very last word, and her hand shot up to her mouth as sobs began to escape. Spencer’s legs were still shaky, but he managed to cross the room to her and give her a tight embrace. “I—no, you shouldn’t have to comfort me right now, Spencer, I’m sorry!”

“Consider this me returning the favor from yesterday,” he muttered, his own voice tearful while he kept holding on to her. He swallowed around the lump in his throat.

“Spencer, you have to find her before he can—”

“I know. I will,” he said, trying his very best to sound determined. Instead, his voice came out sounding more like that of a frightened boy than a grown FBI agent.

“What’s going on with Reid?” Emily asked Derek, giving him a quizzical look from the passenger seat of the SUV.

“Last night I sort of went off on (Y/N) after one too many glasses of whiskey and I may have told her nobody wanted her there,” he confessed, shame swirling in his head as he drove. He didn’t really dislike her; he found her demeanor slightly off-putting, but he had felt the same way about Reid when he first joined the team, and she was an excellent profiler, so the least he could do was give (Y/N) the same benefit of the doubt he had given Reid. “Garcia tore me a new one after he had come back into the bar and told us that she had broken things off between them because of my...outburst.”

“Damn it, Morgan,” Emily muttered, flipping through the file in her hands. “You see, this is why we can’t have nice things!”

“Look, look, I know I was wrong about what I said to her, but I can’t turn back the clock. I’ll just have to find her and apologize once she’s feeling better.” They approached the 11th Street bridge, and he stopped the car and put it in park. They both stepped out into the crisp morning air, a light fog slightly obscuring their vision.

“According to the witness statement, this guy was out for a late-night jog when he called the non-emergency police line after seeing a man toss what the was presumed to be trash into the river in a giant black trash bag,” Emily recited what she had read from the file on the drive there. “But he called 911 when he said he heard what sounded like the start of a scream and then saw the struggle before saying the woman went entirely limp. Report says he tried to catch up with the Unsub, who then got into an unmarked black van and drove away.”

"Looks like the CSI team may have missed something," Derek called out to Emily as he caught a glimpse of what looked like an earring and some dried blood under some fallen leaves on the bridge. He snapped a glove onto his hand, and when he pushed the leaves aside he felt his blood run cold. He'd recognize this earring anywhere. "Oh, no."

"I-I like your earrings," a soft, small voice spoke from behind Derek and Penelope as they did their morning flirting routine. They both turned and saw the newest member of the team looking shyly at Penelope.

"Oh these? Thanks! You know, I could make you a pair if you'd like," Garcia smiled at (Y/N), whose eyes widened in panic.

"O-oh! No, don't worry, y-you don't n-n-need to trouble yourself like that!" The young agent hurried off in a panic.

"That was...weird," Derek mused to himself as he walked to his desk.

"I guess she decided to take up Garcia's offer on a pair of her own after all," he muttered, his voice sorrowful.

"What'd you find, Morgan?" Emily asked as she made her way over. "Is that one of Garcia's earrings? How'd that get here?"

"She had offered to make a pair for (Y/N) right around the time she joined the team," Derek explained before looking up to find Emily's face falling at the realization.

"Oh, god," she gasped, her hand covering her mouth. "Bag that, I'll call Hotch and let him know what we found."

"I'll also call Garcia, ask her to get the address of the witness. We got to get (Y/N) out of there ASAP." Derek pulled out his phone and dialed Garcia.

"What, Derek?" She snapped, and Derek had to fight every urge in his body to playfully argue with her to try to lessen her anger with him. There were more pressing things he had to talk about right now.

"Hey, Garcia, we found something at the scene," he began, "it was, uh, an earring you had made for (Y/L/N) from the looks of it. Got a little bit of dried blood on the post." He took in a deep breath before adding on, "I'm sorry." The line was silent for a minute before she finally spoke again.

"Poor Reid," she whispered, her voice tearful. He could hear her take a shaky breath before she asked, "what, uh, what do you need me to do?"

"I need the address of the witness, a man named Jonathan Levi," he he explained.

"Yeah, uh, yeah I can get that for you right now," she said, her voice growing stronger. He could almost see her wiping her tears from her cheeks as he heard her sniffle on the other end. "I'm sending it to your phone now. And Derek?"

"Yeah, baby girl?"

"You find this son of a bitch," she said before the line disconnected.

"We will," he said to himself.

"Prentiss," Hotch's voice came through Emily's cell phone, "what have you been able to learn from the crime scene?"

"Uh, well not very much, yet. Morgan's calling Garcia to get the address of the witness so we can interview him," she answered, trying to keep her voice from sounding shaky. She failed.

''But?" Hotch pressed.

"...but we did find an earring with some dried blood on the post that was missed under some leaves," she added, swallowing nearly audibly. "Earrings that—that Morgan thinks Garcia had made for (Y/L/N) a little while back."

"Thanks, Prentiss. I've got Reid with me, I'll let him know what you've found," Hotch said before the line disconnected.

"—yeah, baby girl?" She heard from where Morgan stood, followed by a determined, "We will."

"Prentiss!" He called out, heading to the black SUV. "Garcia sent me the address, can you drive?" He tossed her the keys and she caught them, jogging over to the drivers' seat.

"Reid, you doing okay?" Rossi asked him as they rushed to the home they had finally tracked the Unsub to.

"I—I just—," he stammered, swallowing the lump in his throat. "I just hope we get to her in time." His voice was barely above a whisper.

"We know he keeps them for a week. It's only been three days," Spencer felt Rossi's hand land on his shoulder. "She's a fighter, Spencer. You know that better than anyone else here."

The address Garcia had tracked down for them led them to the fairly large but still dilapidated house of a man named Andrew Warren, a CNA at a local mental facility who lost his parents in a double suicide as a child, and then his older sister to suicide a month ago after she had gone through multiple rounds of ECT as a teenager in the 1990s.

The other SUV containing Prentiss, JJ, and Morgan arrived at the house slightly before theirs and Spencer could see as his coworkers stopped the car and raced towards the door of the house. Morgan kicked down the door and raced inside right as Hotch put their vehicle in park and Spencer was out of the door before he could hear any of Hotch's orders. He didn't care about orders, right now. All he cared about was getting the love of his life to safety.

As he ran over the threshold of the house, he heard shouting coming from up a bunch of old stairs. He took the steps two at a time and he went up each floor until he finally reached what seemed to be the third floor landing. The shouting became more distinct as he approached and he could make out Morgan negotiating with the Unsub.

"She's weak," the Unsub spat, followed by a whimper from (Y/N) that sent a stab of pure fear through his gut. "Weak members of our species like her need to be removed from the gene pool."

"Drop the knife, Andrew," Spencer heard Morgan say in a calm voice as he rounded the final corner and the entire situation came into his view. The Unsub had (Y/N) in front of him with a knife held to her throat, both of them standing before a large, open window. She was in nothing but her underwear and bra and had multiple electrical burns marring her skin. (Y/N) made eye contact with Spencer and tears started streaking down her cheeks as she mouthed I'm sorry to him, sending a crack through his chest.

"Don't come any closer!" The Unsub screamed as he finally noticed Spencer approaching with his gun drawn. Spencer's eyes widened as he slowly put his gun back into the holster and then raised his hands just as slowly. He halted his steps and took a deep breath.

"It's okay, Andrew," Spencer attempted to sound calm and collected through his panic. "I'm just trying to help."

Spencer looked around the room at JJ and Prentiss who were flanking Morgan in the center, both with their guns drawn. He could hear Hotch and Rossi approaching behind him and he turned and softly told them, "stay back." He then started slowly approaching again as he turned to the Unsub. "I know what you've been through, Andrew," he said, his voice steadier than he thought it would be.

"You lost your parents in a double suicide when you and your sister were little. Your foster parents would torment you and your sister and blamed you both for the way you reacted to the trauma you had been through and your sister ended up institutionalized after a suicide attempt at 17. Once she got out and took custody of you when she turned 18 and you were 16, she had trouble being able to keep up with everything. She started harming herself," Spencer took another shaky breath as he slowly continued forward, watching as tears welled in Andrew's eyes. "And then you lost her, too, when she jumped from the 11th Street bridge a month ago."

"Sh-she was weak, just like my mom and dad." Andrew responded, but his voice cracked and faltered.

"No, Andrew, they weren't weak. They were sick," Spencer reasoned with him. "Your sister was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, just like your parents. She was sick and in pain. She wasn't weak."

"She was weak," Andrew said. "She left me here all alone!"

"I know," Spencer said, the slightest amount of relief sparking within him as the knife at (Y/N)'s throat began to lower. "I know she did. You can't blame yourself, though, Andrew. It's not your fault. They needed help that you couldn't give by yourself, and that's not your fault. Just let her go and we can get you the help that you need." He pleaded with him, his voice wavering slightly as he looked (Y/N) in the eye again and saw all of the fear and pain radiating from them.

"No," Andrew responded as tears streaked down his face. "I can't—" As he raised the knife back to (Y/N)'s neck, Spencer heard the sound of gunfire and watched in terror as Andrew started to fall backward with his arms still around (Y/N). Spencer tried to run to her but didn't make it before they fell through the open window.

"No!" Morgan shouted as he lunged forward, grabbing (Y/N)'s hand right as she fell backward out the window. Andrew's lifeless body plummeted to the ground beneath them, landing with a crunch. "Hold on, (Y/L/N), I've got you!" He called to her as she dangled from the window, his hand her only lifeline.

Spencer rushed forward to his side before reaching his own hand out the window toward (Y/N), and together they pulled her back up through the window. They moved back and Morgan closed the window as Spencer wrapped (Y/N) into his arms while she sobbed in relief.

"I'm so sorry," she muttered into his chest over and over. Spencer just held her close and kept assuring her that she had nothing to apologize for.

I sat on the back lip of the ambulance, a blanket around my shoulders in some borrowed clothes. Spencer refused to leave my side until he was called away by Hotch. "I'll be right back, okay, love?" He looked at me before giving my forehead a soft, gentle kiss and then walked over to our boss.

"(Y/N)," I heard from a few feet away. I turned and was faced with Derek Morgan.

"M-Morgan," I stammered as my eyes widened. "I-I'm so sorry—"

"Stop, (Y/N). You don't have to apologize to me for anything," he started, "I'm the one who needs to be apologizing for my behavior."

"I—you just kept me from being dragged out of a window and likely breaking my neck. You don't owe me anything. I owe you my life." I muttered, looking at the ground.

"You don't owe me anything. I did the same thing for you that I would have done for any other member of this team," he looked at me while I kept my gaze on the ground in front of me. "Look at me, (Y/N)." I looked at him and he looked me right in the eye as he said, "my behavior the other night was uncalled for. "This team is a family, and you are a vital part of that family. We need you, Spencer needs you, and I'm so, so sorry. I hope that you'll let me try to make it up to you in the future."

Vital. He called me vital. That word clanged through me and I broke down crying again. He wrapped me in a bear hug and apologized again. "Th-thank you, Derek." I said, my voice small as I hesitantly wrapped my arms around him in return.

"I'm sorry, (Y/N)," he said one more time before releasing me. The paramedics approached and asked if anyone was going to accompany me to the hospital.

"Reid!" Morgan called to Spencer, who had just finished up with Hotch. Spencer raced back to us, his eyes widening and growing concerned when he saw my fresh tears.

"What's wrong?! Is everything okay?" He asked as he gently grabbed me by the shoulders and looked into my eyes. I closed my eyes and nodded, unable to form any words. Vital. I'd never felt that I was wanted or needed anywhere I'd been in my life, much less vital to anyone or anything.

"Paramedics wanna know if you're gonna accompany her to the hospital," Morgan explained, and Spencer agreed in a heartbeat. I was then loaded onto a gurney and into the ambulance, one of the paramedics and Spencer following behind.

Vital. As I looked at Spencer, he grabbed by hand and pulled it up to his lips and placed a soft kiss on the back. "I'm so happy you're alive," Spencer whispered to me, his hand moving to stroke some of my hair out of my face. "I love you, (Y/N)."

@busy-buzzing here's part 2 sorry it took so long!

[grub-hut]

I don't use Tiktok, never will, In my opinion I think the app should shut down. [ But that will never happen... So I will cope.] But god are ya'll are insufferable on there. The fact you have this strong par asocial attachment to Sebastian and claim that Zerum is ""ruining the character"" is just blasphemy and shows you guys know nothing to zero about writing and do not play the game whats so ever. I've talked to Zerum; Ive talked to the devs and mods ; and all the false claims and misinformation that's being spread like a wildfire IS CRAZY. Everyone's so exhausted. It takes just a couple of minutes to prove it's false but that would actually require these people to literally sit down and fucking read. Zerum never banned anybody. Zerum doesn't handle the bans in the server. If you got banned or muted, it was most likely the automod in the server that they have implemented to avoid people saying anything weird or sexual... [ A friend of mine got muted because they sent a gif that had a weird name to it; nothing related to the gif, the gif was fine and they filed a ticket and got unmuted. Its just the bot doing its job.] and even then the mods probably banned you for something completely unrelated...

and even then, can we STOP normalizing this??

Like this GRINDS my gears, it fucking rusts, it makes me want to break down and combust into flames- Stop. Stop. YOU ARE THE ISSUE. Creators want to create. Either for ourselves or for others, whatever it maybe people enjoy letting their creativity flow because ITS FUN. IT SHOULD BE--- FUN!!! We are giving you literally something free and something to ENJOY because we enjoy it just as much! This stupid fucking mindset being so normalized makes me SO SICK. " whatever is put on the internet is free reign!" you guys have ZERO respect for any creator; even yourselves and its so BLATANTLY OBVIOUS. You guys preach about "respecting artists/creators" till it doesnt fit with your agenda, because we should just "expect" our works to be disrespected and used. Like our feelings never mattered. Are we going to ignore the discussion of AI art too? Or copyright, or literally anything of that sort here? Yes, its the internet, there WILL be people who are so drastically cruel and do something you will not like. I do agree its best to ignore those kinds of people but that does not mean we should just LET it happen. It does not mean we should suck it up and take the blows. This is how people stop creating, youre killing artists, youre shunning them away because "its the internet, lol, dont get mad if ppl -" Stop it, you're teaching younger generations that it does not matter if you have boundaries or not and that your voice doesnt mean anything. I mean fuck, you put your oc here I can use it however I want then! Because you shouldve expected the moment you click post for other people to use it! Who cares right?! its OUR oc now >:)!!! No matter what the character is from, by a indie game, a comic, a book, yadda yadda. If youre gonna be scum, you are gonna BE scum. Artists should be respected and be listened to. If Zerum ships her oc to her oc, so fucking what? She created him. YES. SHE CREATED HIM. Just because she is a """co-owner" You forget she wrote and designed him. You forget its STILL HER CHARACTER. WHICH BTW, HE WOULDNT EXIST IF IT WASNT FOR ZERUM!! ITS HER CHARACTER- Not yours, and if your first thing that comes to mind " oh but shes ruining her character" then so what, its not MADE for you. Hell, Sebastian is only like 1% of the whole entire game! ENJOY THE GAME, ENJOY THE ACTUAL LORE. MAKE YOUR OWN OCS, GO WACKY WOOHOO AND ENJOY IT WITH OTHERS. If you make headcanons for Sebastian or any other characters! Great! As long as you are respectful who literally cares. HAVE FUN! Stop harassing and bullying and literally spreading misinfo; I am so sick of people with this mindset! This is why the internet is such a shit place to begin with because we just let this stuff happen. Grow up! Like PAInter said.." YOURE NO FUN AT ALL!"

[brynn-lear]

Prompt: Yandere!Dottore x Reader... But make it a House MD au. A/n: this idea has been rotting in my brain for such a long time... Yeah no I won't budge, Pantalone is our beloved Wilson lol. Word Count: 600 (this is a throwaway drabble)

You HATE working for Doctor Zandik’s diagnostic team.

No, that’s a lie. Everybody lies. You don’t hate working for him— you’ve grown desensitized.

The doctor’s “methods” are deeply rooted in misanthropy. Yet, his eloquent and annoyingly charming way persuasions act as a get-out-of-jail card for (most) instances of ethical and medical malpractices. Your colleagues, Dr. Sohreh & Dr. Krupp, remain equally tired of being in their positions. However, the Fontainian tragedy to all this is the screwed-up fact that none of you considered resigning. You three need him.

Krupp swallows his anger each time Zandik orders him to break into patients’ homes. As Zandik loves to remind the dean of medicine, there will be no ethics committee dilemma if all his people clean their tracks right. Why Pierro keeps him in his hospital despite being a significant liability to Morepesok Teaching Hospital? Your morals will never understand. Prioritizing genius over following proper procedure didn’t sit right with you. Then again, you were only hired because of your family’s connections, not merit…

Work for Zandik until you hate him; once that threshold is passed, work until you start vomiting out the evil you’ve done for the greater good. That’s the only thing other staff members had for advice. There’s nothing after step 2. Your soul WILL fight with your body. It was only when you started feeling bile rise to your throat on random occasions that you realized there must indeed be something broken in your psyche after years of working under him. You thought the advice was played out in dramatics. It wasn’t.

“(L/n), need a little help here,” Krupp called out as he rummaged through the patient’s trash. “Can you pass the gloves?”

After you did as told, you leaned by the patient’s piano. “Fever, fatigue, and a persistent cough. Standard symptoms for most of our patients, but—”

“This is Zandik.” Sohreh shakes her head, finding this situation wholly amusing. While you and Krupp scavenged through Zandik’s trash and forgotten candy wraps (he is unsurprisingly disorganized), she had her eyes set on his documents. “The patient is our boss. We just broke into our boss’s house like we’re actively pushing his own medicine down his throat.”

Pierro ordered you three in secret to investigate if Zandik has been ill, which opened the gates of let’s-all-break-into-his-house-for-fun for coworker bonding exercise. 

“What if this isn’t anything serious?” Krupp muttered, absolutely disgruntled. “Maybe we’re just overthinking this Zandik Is Sick conspiracy theory.”

“If it’s not serious, it’s boring.” You paused. “And he doesn’t do boring.”

Sohreh breathed in.

“Hey, guys? You might want to check this out.”

Upon hearing Sohreh’s grim tone, you and Krupp immediately grabbed the file she was holding and skimmed through it.

…

“This is his medical history. There’s blood work and imaging tests here… showing elevated white blood cells, and— a biopsy?” Krupp raised an eyebrow.

“Cancer,” Sohreh spoke, letting out the thoughts Krupp was too afraid to say. “He thinks he has cancer.”

“No, no, that’s not it.”

Sohreh and Krupp turned to look at you.

“What do you mean?”

You shifted uncomfortably. “Look at the name.”

“What name?”

“Name of the patient.”

You let go of the file as Sohreh and Krupp eagerly found that they had somehow missed the person.

The two paled.

“(Y/n)—”

“It’s mine.” You sighed. “Those are my tests. I’ve been hiding it from the rest of the staff except Doctor Pantalone from Onco.”

“You have—”

“But why?” You looked down, unsure as to how you felt.

“Why does Zandik have these files?”

[kenzirr]

part 2 to the spencer imagine

@levi-of-starz

The BAU office was bustling as usual, agents hurrying about with case files and paperwork. Spencer Reid sat at his desk, engrossed in a book, when he suddenly looked up, a thought clearly lighting up his face.

"Did you know that the world's smallest bird, the bee hummingbird, weighs less than a penny?" Spencer announced to the room. "It's native to Cuba and measures just 2.25 inches from beak to tail."

Morgan, who was passing by, stopped and raised an eyebrow. "That's pretty cool, Reid. What got you thinking about hummingbirds?"

Spencer smiled. "It’s one of the facts Y/N shared with me the other night. We've been trading trivia back and forth, and it got me thinking. I want you all to meet her."

Garcia's eyes lit up as she walked over. "Oh, that sounds fantastic! When do we get to meet her?"

Spencer thought for a moment. "How about we arrange a dinner? I could invite Y/N, and we can all get together. I think she’d love to meet all of you."

JJ nodded enthusiastically. "I think that's a great idea. A nice team dinner would be perfect."

Hotch looked up from his desk, considering. "Sounds like a plan. I'll bring Jack along since I can't leave him alone."

Spencer smiled, feeling a wave of excitement and nervousness. "Great. I'll talk to Y/N and set everything up."

---

A few days later, the team gathered at Rossi's mansion, which he had graciously offered for the dinner. The dining room was elegantly set with a long mahogany table covered in a pristine white tablecloth. Crystal wine glasses sparkled under the chandelier's soft light, and the aroma of Italian cuisine filled the air as Rossi finished preparing the meal.

The centerpiece was an arrangement of fresh flowers, and each place setting had a small, handwritten name card. Spencer had even placed a few fun facts under each plate as conversation starters.

Y/N arrived a little after Spencer, looking both excited and a bit nervous. Spencer introduced her to everyone, and the team welcomed her warmly.

"Y/N, this is Derek Morgan," Spencer started, gesturing to Morgan.

"Nice to meet you, Y/N," Morgan said with a grin. "Spencer’s told us a lot about you."

"And this is Penelope Garcia," Spencer continued.

Garcia gave Y/N a big hug. "So nice to finally meet you, lovely! You look even more wonderful than Spencer described."

Spencer then introduced JJ, Rossi, and finally Hotch and his son Jack. Jack, clutching a small toy car, smiled shyly at Y/N.

"Hi, Jack," Y/N said, crouching down to his level. "What’s your toy’s name?"

Jack beamed. "This is Lightning McQueen. He’s really fast."

"Nice to meet you, Lightning," Y/N said, shaking the toy car's "hand."

They all sat down at the table, and Rossi brought out the first course: bruschetta topped with fresh tomatoes, basil, and a drizzle of balsamic glaze.

"Y/N, I hope you like Italian food," Rossi said, smiling. "I made some of my favorite dishes tonight."

Y/N took a bite of the bruschetta and her eyes lit up. "This is amazing, Rossi. Thank you so much for having me."

As they ate, the conversation flowed easily. Spencer couldn't resist sharing another fact. "Did you know that tomatoes were once thought to be poisonous? In the 18th century, people called them 'poison apples' because they believed the aristocracy got sick and died after eating them, but it was actually the lead in their pewter plates reacting with the tomato acid."

JJ laughed. "That's fascinating, Spencer. I never knew that."

Y/N joined in, sharing one of her own facts. "Did you know that butterflies taste with their feet? They have taste sensors on their legs and feet to help them find food."

Garcia's eyes widened. "That's amazing! I love butterflies, and I had no idea."

The main course was served: homemade lasagna, rich with layers of cheese, meat, and sauce. As they dug in, Hotch shared a story about a recent camping trip with Jack, and Jack excitedly talked about the wildlife they saw.

"Y/N," Garcia said, "how did you and Spencer meet?"

Y/N smiled, glancing at Spencer. "We met at a bookstore, actually. We were both reaching for the same book – a biography of Alan Turing."

Morgan chuckled. "Of course you were. That sounds like a perfect Reid story."

As they moved on to dessert – a decadent tiramisu – Rossi raised his glass. "To a wonderful evening."

Everyone clinked their glasses, and Spencer felt a warmth spread through him. The night had gone perfectly, and he couldn't have been happier.

After dinner, as Spencer walked Y/N to her car, she turned to him with a smile. "Your team is wonderful, Spencer. I had a great time tonight."

"Me too," Spencer replied, his heart racing. "Thank you for coming. It meant a lot to me."

Y/N leaned in, and Spencer met her halfway, their lips touching in a kiss that was soft and sweet. As the kiss deepened, Spencer felt a surge of warmth and happiness, losing himself in the moment.

Unbeknownst to them, the team had gathered near the window, watching the scene unfold. Garcia was the first to giggle, followed by a series of playful whispers and chuckles from the rest of the group.

Morgan couldn't resist. He opened the door slightly and called out, "Get a room, you two!"

Spencer and Y/N broke apart, both blushing furiously as they turned to see the team grinning at them from the doorway.

Garcia added, "We just wanted to make sure you didn't forget to say goodnight!"

Spencer, still flustered, managed a sheepish smile. "Thanks, guys."

Y/N squeezed his hand, looking equally embarrassed but happy. "Goodnight, everyone. Thanks for a wonderful evening."

As she drove away, Spencer turned back to his team, who were still chuckling and exchanging knowing looks.

Hotch clapped Spencer on the shoulder. "I think she’s a keeper, Reid."

Spencer nodded, his heart full. "Yeah, I think so too."

[shapelytimber]

Wdym it's been 5 months ? Anyway, here is the end of my little comic serie about this niche Skyrim mod

*Insert me 100%ing the 4th arc of the hit mod 'vigilant' for the elder scrolls V Skyrim with little difficulty having a grand ol' time*

I messed up my files so Teldryn divorced me while I was away ckgkckkc And you know what good for him, he got a cottage and a kid out of it

[PART 1] - [PART 2] - [PART 3]

[COMMISSIONS]

If you're interested in my thoughts about this mod, you can read that below (it's fucking long so I'm sparing you all just here for the art to have to scroll through all that) vvv

A fantastic mod for sure ! I had so much fun, the voice acting was (for the most part) quite impressive, the music !!!!!!!!! Excuse me who gave this mod permission to have this fucking banger of an ost ???? Loved the new environnements, and there was so much of them !! Especially in act 4, I felt that all the locations had a unique and gorgeous aesthetic (frankly it was the most fun I had doing dungeons in skyrim... the bar is on the floor tho- if I ever see another nordic tomb or draugr I'll not be responsible for my actions), and fucking impressive mise en scene.

And the fights were so fun ??? In skyrim ?? Incredible.

But I still have some problems with it- first let's get the elephant out of the room : act 1 and 2... Boy oh boy were they not so great- I get that the begining is a slow burn to 1) get to know the vigilants of stendar, and 2) drive home the fact that the vigilants are quite incompetent and stendar hates them. Ok this is cool ! And they definetly were some highlights, like with the story of the three kajiits (I'm not good with remembering names (forshadowing for later-)), the ending of act 1, and uuuuuuuhhhh underground windhelm looked sick in act 2 !

But the quests in general were not very fun, at least not fun enough to distract me from the parts of the scenario I understood- which were kind of sexist and not that interesting (the sexism doesn't get better with act 3 and 4 but at least I'm having fun)- like I don't expect great women characters, this is still a tes mod, and it definitly doesn't get to "the man writting this is a fucking creep and I'm not playing this any longer" territory... But all the women we interact with are either : prostitutes, mothers/wives, or abuse(it's nearly always rape) victims- like I don't really mind that the first quest is to track down a vampire prostitute who propose to show me her sweetrolls, but it gets pretty tiresome after a while (and kinda ridiculous, like do all the big musley men I'm fighting in act 4 have to angst about their wives ? Can't a big musley woman angst about her partner too...). The worst one is Lamae Bal. From the charadesign, to the dialogues with her, to her story- hated that.

And also we don't have much dialogue choices and ways to influence the story in these 2 (3) first acts. Which I understand like this is a lot of work for fan content, but it's such a stark contrast to act 4 it's a bit jaring.

But speaking of the story... I get this is a very thoughtful and well researched story. A lot of work reading the tes wiki as been done by the author... But I, on the other hand, did not read the entire extended lore wiki- and I admit I was not understanding any of it during Act 4. Like I got a general idea, and the epic, dramatic and emotional moments were still impactful ! But I really don't think the author did a great job getting the story accross, and the more the mod progress, the more this problem becomes relevant. The recuring problem of tes games is that they have really deep interesting lore that we rarely get to see in the games ; the problem of this mod is that we get presented with this lore as if we already knew it.

And after watching an explaination of the story, it's such a shame because it's really good !! And well written ! But I don't think I should need a youtube video to understand it...

Also omfg I am not good with names mod please- everything has like 2-3 different weird fantasy names (but it's never explained it's the same thing, and what the thing is is never explained-), there is a billion men characters with weird ass long names, and the mod expects me to remember them all 5-6 hours after they got killed ??? I don't remember them 5 seconds after I'm done talking to them-

But I had fun playing it, and that's what matters <3 and I'll never get other twink molag bal <3

Also, my mage dragonborn is even more op now omg I can summon an army of 8ft musle men + molag bal + Jyggalag ??? The only fight I had a bit of trouble with was Pelinal's, the rest got obliterated easily (by Pelinal) kgkgkfjfifb

I'll probably need to nerf Elaris at some point in the future-

[polarisjisung]

ASKING NCT DREAM TO PAINT YOUR NAILS

MARK: he would be scared to mess it up, probably would mess up a lot, but he'd be so concentrated, like he'd watch tutorials on how to properly paint nails and he'd start practising on himself until he got better and then he'd paint your nails all the time

RENJUN: would be shocked that you asked in the first place but totally down to do it, literally a whole nail tech, would be doing up the most intricate designs, maybe hiding his name in there a couple times and then when you start to notice he'd give up and just openly add an element of his name, like a cute R in a heart on your index finger, or something small like that into the designs— doesn't do them often but would enjoy it a lot

JENO: after you got sick of him asking to paint his nails for you, you decide to teach him how and he'd just start painting yours with fun colours, because the bright colours/ pastels wouldn't "fit his vibe" also would show your nails off to the dreamies and staff so proudly until they told him how bad he was that he started painting them every chance he'd get, taking off old layers of polish to try and do an even better job than his last try (just know he does in fact, still ask you to paint his nails)

HAECHAN: would come to you one day with all the nail supplies in the world, and would end up using like 5 max, definitely uses it as an excuse to hold your hand, would purposely make a mistake so you can get all pouty (because you would never actually say anything to him after he tried so hard to make them look pretty) and he can fix it up later, would match with you, like half a heart on your nail and the other half on his, brags about it to all the guys, maybe even staff, possibly some strangers

JAEMIN: he notices you struggling to paint your dominant hand one day so offers to do them, takes a good hour to do 5 nails (you would too so you're not complaining) but does them pretty well, even does a little cuticle care afterwards and definitely likes sending you nail inspo, would sulk a little (lot) if you were going to get your nails done since he can't paint them with you and feed you snacks while you do your nails together, but would totally pay for your new set— a big advocate of super fun nails, like new styles and bright colours ++ LOVES seasonal nails

CHENLE: wouldn't be opposed to the idea, just doesn't love it a lot, until he finds out about all the meanings of the colours, safe to say he throws out all your white polish, loves seeing how happy it gets you, even if he does a trashy job, so he starts doing it more often and even comes to you excitedly sometimes with the bottle to do them himself, might even paint them in your sleep

JISUNG: he's hesitant and he's practically certain he'd be all shaky and give you a horrible paint job, but he'd be surprisingly pretty good, you've never seen him so still in your life, posts him painting your nails on his story so everyone can see how good a boyfriend he is, likes filing your nails into shape, with puffed concentrated cheeks, because he likes watching the nail dust fall off, definitely shapes your nails into stilletos so you can "use them for self defence" unfortunately he ends up getting scratched by them a lot more than either of you would like

NOTES: this was initially a jaemin thought and then I ended up with this

[pastafossa]

Happy Birthday and a merry 6 years to TRT! 🎂 🎁 🎈 🎉 🍰

🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯

Some FUN TRIVIA FACTS:

TRT's sun sign is VIRGO and its moon sign is LEO!

After 6 years, its current wordcount is 932k words. If you put that in size 12 arial font, single-spaced, this would come to about 2000 pages, and even more if the pages were the usual mass market paperback size!

TRT is now 40 in cat years!

The Man in the White Coat is my tribute to the Mad Scientist trope common in scifi, which is one of my favorite genres!

It is old enough developmentally to tie its shoes! Keep going, TRT!

Ciro is partially inspired by John Marcone from The Dresden Files!

TRT shares a birthday with literary great Agatha Christie! Maybe I'll introduce poison-based murder into the fic in her honor...

The idea of seeing threads came to me after seeing a meme about red threads tying soul mates together. Everything that came after - the other threads, the thread world, how it works, is unique to TRT!

TRT is now longer than War and Peace, and Crime and Punishment combined! So if you've read all of TRT so far, then you have the perfect middle finger to anyone who tries to say you can't focus on longer stories!

The inciting penguin documentary that Foggy drunkenly watched (which led to him declaring Matt and Jane 'penguins') was about Adelie penguins specifically!

Jane has a leather jacket because I love leather jackets and think all badass characters should have a leather jacket! And so you should you! EVERYONE DESERVES A COOL LEATHER JACKET.

The long hiatus between Chapter 4 and Chapter 5 was because I had life things pop up. During that hiatus, I realized the plotline/ending needed some work, so I spent those two years outlining, and I also wound up doing a bunch of additional novel writing classes just because I wanted to learn. A lot of this wound up influencing TRT!

The grey threads are one of the only threads that no one has solved yet!

There are absolutely some bad people working for Cyrus James. There is also a guy named Kyle. He is there not for Evil Purposes (tm) but instead because this was the only place he could work that would allow him to pay off his student loans.

When I started TRT, I thought maybe 5 people total would read it. I was told five people total would read it by some shitty people. So I wrote it expecting five total people would read it, and told myself at least I'd enjoy it, and I could use it to learn. In other words: I had ZERO idea TRT would take off like this. None. Nada. Zip. AND LOOK AT US NOW, BABY. FUCK THE HATERS, 6 YEARS AND GOIN' STRONG.

Based on my outline, we're a bit over halfway to the end!

I hope you enjoyed these TRT funfacts. And I hope you know: this fic isn't just me. It's you, too. This fic has become so much larger than just me. It's the TRT playlist you've sent songs in for that keeps me inspired when writing. It's the fanart I look at to give me a boost. It's your sweet comments and likes and kudos and messages that encourage me when I'm sick or depressed. It's the people who've made friends over this fic, or who've been inspired to write fic themselves, adding beautiful works to the community that we all use to keep going. It's all of this love for both TRT and Matt, and I'm so happy that I've been able to contribute in at least a small way in keeping Charlie!Daredevil love alive even after the show's been gone for years now. I love you all so, so goddamn much. I love this fandom. I love TRT with all my heart. Thank you so much for being a part of these past six years through cancelations, through your high school and college years and beyond, through my ups and downs of moving and sickness and fiberglass and pandemic craziness, through late night chapter drops and wild twists and turns.

And I hope the next few years as we enter the second half of this story are just as amazing!

[machiten]

that's my seat! (pt 2)

academic rival scaramouche x gn!reader

warnings: scaramouche(bro is a whole warning), foul language(it's scaramouche we're talking about here so), bits of xiaoven (fuck you i love his ship), idk what else

4.2k words

❗not proofread ❗

the day after that, you didn't attend class which was quite unusual since there was never a day where you attempted to skip class (one time you did but it was so that you can study for another class) and it alarmed him, just a little bit. maybe you got sick? an urgent matter perhaps? but you didn't file an excuse letter so the teachers can excuse you. scaramouche wanted to ask your friends but his pride is a little too much for that. oh and he was also sent to the principal's office the same day. it's not the first time of course, trips to the office are basically routine now. when scaramouche entered, the principal is a bit surprised to not seeing you trail behind the purple haired achiever.

"oh? this is new. where's (last name)?"

"...don't know, i haven't seen her since this morning."

"that's a nice hit you got there." tye principal addressed the patches on his face. scaramouche clicked his tounge as he flicked his head to the side, as to hide his face from shame.

if he was to be honest to himself, he aready had his eyes on you since day one. someone is on par with him? really?? now he doesn't see that everyday. it changed his overall view on school. no more boring lectures with no one to debate with, no more being dragged alone to every bullshit quiz bee contests (you're also gettting dragged), and getting high scores are actually fun now because he gets to make fun of you.

so as the days go by... wait, days? how long has it been?! he hasn't seen a single strand of your hair. he already checked certain spots around the school everyday, hoping that maybe you were just avoiding him therefore the lack of your presence. he was calm, not until one of your friends went to him, asking for your whereabouts. him. your sworn enemy, is being asked where the fuck you are.

"hey"

scaramouche turned to the voice seeing aether with a frown. "what." scaramouche replied.

"i didn't think i was ever gonna ask you this but im gonna overlook all the shit that you did for now because this is important. have you seen (name)?" aether grimaced

"no, i haven't seen her. also, how the fuck should i know? we're not close." he crossed his arms, as if he just heard the most absurd question in his entire existence.

"fuck" aether cursed under his breath. "well, thanks i guess." aether waved and walked away. when he turned into a corner, scaramouche's facade fell. the hell? not even aether knows what happened to you? feeling guilt, scaramouche fished his phone out of his pocket and opened his contact list oh yeah he also doesn't have your number, you're not even friends on any social medias. he cursed under his breath. now he feels really bad, blaming himself for your disappearance, guilt eating him inside out.

the days go by, scaramouche ignored the prickling feeling inside his chest. you'll come back, right? he knows you would, you wouldn't abandon your education, right?? he just had to be patient. but he cant really ignore you, everything he sees reminds him of you. everytime he enters the classroom, he gets reminded by the chair he sits in, expecting you to come in a minute later to play tug of war with the chair. in lectures, he's always ready to spit out a comeback whenever you add something to the lesson but this time he kept waiting until the lecture ends until he realizes that no you weren't there at all to debate with him. when the teacher hands out test results, he always looks at the back (where you sit) to compare scores but everytime, he sees nothing but an empty chair.

you have perfectly blended yourself in scaramouche's routine. and everytime it happens, the guilt plaguing his mind feeds from it. he went home that day accepting the fact that it is entirely his fault and he should fix everything. that's the least he could do after everything that he's done.

"im home," scaramouche exclaimed as he entered his house, putting away his shoes on the side. "welcome home kuni- you okay?" his sister, which is a splitting image of their mother, said as she paused the tv. "yeah, anyways. im probably gonna regret this but can you both cook for yourselves today? i have to go somewhere. please don't burn the pan handle again, thanks." he said as he immediately ran to his room to change.

"where are you going?!" his sister shouted from downstairs. "uhh to my friend's house!" he shouted back.

"you have friends?!"

"what is that supposed to mean?!!"

"im gonna tell mom you're going somewhere!"

"ok!"

when he was out of the house, he took at his phone and looked at the picture of your address in you notebook when he sneakily stole your notes.

'damn they live far... good thing i have a motorcycle.' he took his keys, wore his helmet, and got the engine started.

after 20 minutes of trafic and searching for your apartment, he took off his helmet got off his bike. he can feel people staring at him (i mean, who wouldn't). he went to the elevator and pressed your floor number. he got out when he heard the ding and immediately went to find your door number.

'143... 143.... 143... 143... 143...' he chanted the number in his head. when he found your door, he took a really deep breath and knocked. after a few seconds, he heard shuffling from the other side, then the door opened. he expected to see you but to his surprise, he saw a dark haired boy fading to bright torquoise with two braids framing the side of his face.

...did he get the wrong place?

he stood there like an idiot for a few seconds until he heard the boy talk.

"so, need anything?" he sounds cheery, definitely the extroverted type. "uhm, do you know anyone here by the name (name)?" he held his helmet a bit tighter. "oh (name)? wait I'll call them." the braided boy then shouted inside his apartment. "(name)!! someone's looking for you!! again!!"

scaramouche winced at the noise-- you're inside??? then what the fuck is this boy doing in your house? is he your boyfriend? (is he too late?) then, as if the heavens opened up for him, he heard curses with an awfully familiar voice far inside the apartment.

"tell my brother to fuck off!!"

"it's not your brother!!"

"well then tell my teacher im fine!!"

"..well-! it's not a teacher either!!"

"...."

"what does he look like?!!"

"can you both stop yelling like mountain dwellers-"

"HE LOOKS EMO!!" scaramouche was offended.

after a moment of silence, the boy spoke to him, less volume this time. "sorry about that, im venti by the way! she hasn't been doing well for the past few weeks because something happened at her school or something, i hope you understand.." a sweat rolled down scaramouche's back. "it's ok, im--"

"venti who the hell-" a new participant has entered the conversation, you. and when scaramouche saw you, he felt relief and overbearing guilt at the same time. relieved that you look fine and healthy, guilty because of the things he has done. when you saw him on the other hand, rage has once again boiled in your heart.

"get out." you tried slamming the door close but his feet was faster, slipping in to the gap of the door and the frame. he winced a bit from the impact but that's the least of his concerns right now.

"wait, shit, can we talk-"

"what more do you want from me?! im finally gone from your life and now you got here to torment me more?!" if you were any stronger, you could've turned his feet into mush. "no, im here to apologize-!"

"i dont care! fuck off!" oh he is not giving up. fortunately for him (not for you) he is stronger and managed to keep the door from closing. "can you please just listen to me!!"

"go away!"

"no!"

this went on for like an eternity until someone inside your apartment held the back of your shirt and pulled you away from the door, making it swing open from scaramouche's force. "xiao, what the fuck let go!!" turns out venti called his boyfriend from their room while you and scaramouche were fighting. while xiao was holding you back from basically doing second degree murder, scaramouche carefully set his helmet down on the floor, avoiding your attempt at swings. (your previous hit hasn't even fully recovered yet.)

"(name) calm down, be rational. nothing will be solved when you're acting like a maniac and wont communicate." xiao said sternly. "how can i when he's the exact reason as to why im here right now!" at this statement, venti's expression became dark.

"what."

you got out of xiao's hold and stormed back inside your room, slamming the door close. xiao followed you in. scaramouche clicked his tougue, about to follow you when someone stoped him, "(name), wait-!"

"hold the fuck up." venti grabbed his shoulder. "you're the bitch that got them here?"

"yeah, so?"

"get out."

"let go of me." scaramouche shrugged venti off. "besides, that's what im here for." he looked at the room you went into with an unreadable look.

"do i have to repeat what i said? fuck, not only are you stupid but deaf too? get out." venti mocked him. 'what the fuck he was giggly just a minute ago.'

"ok listen, i just want to apologize to them. i know i fucked up and im basically ruining her life right now that's why i want to take responsibility. can you at least tell her that?" it is clear how scaramouche regrets what he did. venti's look sharpened. "how do i know you're being sincere?"

.

.

.

.

.

.

"(name)?? can you please open the door?" venti knocked on your door. after a few seconds, the door opened to xiao. "where's (name)?" xiao pointed at the bed in the corner of the room. there he sees you lying down, face buried in your pillow. "they won't talk. like at all, ive tried everything." xiao sighed.

venti has been your roommate ever since you got kicked out from your house. xiao is his boyfriend of 3 years and they're both two yeas older than you (xiao moved in a year ago). thanks to the both of them, they are basically your older siblings now. they did what your brother never could. they took care of you the past few days, even if they're both busy with their degrees. they would leave food in the fridge, remind you to take your medicine (they both have alarms of when you need to take your medicines), they bring you food in your room when you insist that you dont want to eat, saying, 'even if you don't want to eat, you need to. ' and proceeds to spoon feed you (even if it's embarrasing), and is just genuinely worried for you, especially when you came home that day with aether carrying you on his back.

"do you think they're asleep? how do they even breathe..." venti walked closer and sat down on the side of your bed. "hey (name), I know you can hear me so listen up, ok?? sca... or whatever his name is, wants to talk to you and to apologize for what he did and he wants to take responsibility. he said he's gonna get you back to school no matter what it takes and he is also sorry for being insensitive."

no answer.

"he's gonna pick you up at 6:45 tomorrow. i wasn't gonna tell you any of this because he doesn't seem sincere until he proved it to me earlier. just talk to him ok?? i know life is shit but you have to keep going to prove yourself to your parents." he pats your head. he looks around the room and lands his gaze on your desk which if filled with books and notes. it seems like you haven't given up yet which made venti smile.

"sleep well (name), goodnight."

as they both got out of your room, xiao spoke up. "what did he do to prove himself?"

venti winked. "it's a secret."

and that's how venti got a huge bite mark on his cheek.

.

.

.

.

.

.

oh you heard everything. what does he mean he's picking you up tomorrow?! prove himself? how?! what responsibility?! he's making it sound like he got you pregnant!!

and he actually DID come the next morning. venti informed that you didnt get ready like at all and you know what bro did? he waited. in the living room. the whole time. he went 'hurry up we'll be late for first period' as if there's nothing wrong with anything.

so fast forward, he managed to convince you to go with him (reluctantly). what you didn't expect though was to be met with his (motorcycle brand), infront of your apartment.

"i am not riding that."

"we are riding that, here put this on." he said as he hands you a helmet. you gave it back to him as you turned around, about to go back inside the apartment but he pulled you back by your collar. "fucking- PUT IT ON WERE LATE." he exclaimed as he gave you a frustrated look.

"you're lucky that I actually felt guilty and went all the way here for your stupid ass. now get on I don't have all day." scaramouche said as he slotted the helmet on your head and got the engine started. you reluctantly sat behind him, sitting funny. "have you ever rode a motorcycle your whole life?"

"I have but, not like this one!" there is an inch gap between you and him causing you to sit funny. then he jerked the motorcycle forward by suddenly revving the engine causing you to lose balance and slip, so now you're the closest to him than you ever were.

"hold on tight, I like driving fast."

"what. wait--WAIT I'M NOT REA- wAIT-! YOU ABSOLUTE AS-!"

----

this went on for weeks. he would appear on your doorstep, get you both to school and when classes end, he'd drive you back home. and, yes, you did talk but it was more like recounting the old days, sometimes laughing at the stupid stuff you both fought over before. and he apologized, of course. and it was a well said apology, it's as if he's been practicing (he was). you forgave him with the promise of him watching his mouth the next time because if he won't, then you wont be the only victim of his sharp words.

when you arrived at school that day, your friends immediately tackled you into a hug. they were saying about how they were so worried about you and that they miss the daily bickering you and scaramouche does. they also mentioned how scaramouche has been out of it these past few weeks (which is weird because why would he do that ahhahaha...). Aether literally went into tears when he saw you walking down the hallway saying he missed you and shit and that he has to eat lunch with his sister which was torture (his words not mine).

what irks you though is the funny look they give you everytime you and scaramouche walks through the classroom doors at the same time. so you were like;

"can you walk up first, they're looking at us funny everytime."

"stop being dramatic." and proceeds to tug you at your sleeve.

he's not gonna lie, he likes the look your friends are making. he also likes the red on your face everytime. ever since you've returned to school, he's making the effort to minimize your fights (except for the fun ones) and to actually get to know you better.

through this, you've also got to know him better. and this made you realize he actually isn't that bad (if you really think about it). you now know he prefers bitter food over sweet ones, he cooks really good, he has a sister that almost looks identical to his mother, he has a really short auntie, he has a list of future victims (you don't want to know what that means), and he's genuinely just a chill guy. you just got on his bad (playful) side the first time you met him.

though there are times where he gets a bit... unwell... but we all have that in us, right? the thoughts? well, i mean, i can hear it everyday so I hope you do too<3

"venti i am fucked."

"alright let's get you to the abortion center."

you looked at him perplexed, "what?"

"you said you got fucked, let's go."

"NOT LIKE THAT." you facepalmed. sometimes you wonder if he really is two years older than you.

"hehe im just kidding, what is it?" he giggles as he continues to stir the pot as he was making dinner. "i do not feel safe around him anymore." you muttered while nibbling at a piece of vegetable.

"who."

you shrieked after hearing a new voice. venti turned around to see what's going on. there stood behind you is xiao, who just got back from class, he got his piercings and everything looking like he will beat you up if you breathe. "you scared the fuck out of me, can you make some noise when you get home next time?" you calmed your beating heart as xiao apologized. "but yeah im talking about scaramouche. he's acting... different."

at this, venti perks up, "oh? what kind of different?"

"i do not like that look on your face."

"c'mon tell me!" venti now has his full attention to you as he passed his apron to xiao so that he can take over dinner.

"well, he's weird. i mean, he keeps doing weird stuff and im not saying im uncomfortable with it's just... unusual? did he really feel that guilty to the point where he drives me to and from school everyday?" you slumped on your chair, fiddling with a fork. venti let's out a hum, tapping his cheeks as if he's thinking. "have you ever considered that maybe, just maybe, he likes you?" he adds.

"what?"

venti goes around the counter and sits beside you, "like, romantically. let's enumerate! he drives you to and from school, walks you to your class, buys you coffee when you lack sleep and he KNOWS you lack sleep, wakes you up in class, picks out your favorite flovors in a pack of gummies, shares lunch with you, lends you his notes, uhhh what else...-"

"WAIT WAIT THAT'S ENOUGH!" you flung your hands, embarrassed. "how can you even be sure! aether also do some those sometimes, and we're really great friends!"

venti stared at you, "ok first of all, aether is gay he literally has a boyfriend. second of all, i know this because xiao also did all these 'cringey' stuff before and hey, look at us!" he hugs xiao and they almost fell on the floor.

"aether has a boyfrie-?"

venti squished you cheeks, "that's besides the point! listen to me (name), i am a love expert, i know what im doing. i can even tell you what xiao did that will match with what scaramouche is doing-"

"dinner's ready." a pot filled with delicious food is placed at the counter by a blushy xiao. "venti, i love you, but please shut up." he says, embarrassed.

the next day, you payed better attention to scaramouche, hoping to prove venti wrong.

and boy were you the wrong one.

the way he holds your hand when he speeds up while driving his bike, when he stays after he's dropped you off in your apartment to ensure tour safety, the way he puts more effort in his hand writing so that you can understand better, the timing he has when you are in an uncomfortable situation, the little shapes of fruit in his lunch that he shares with you, when he brings hair clips when your hair gets in the way of work,

it goes on forever.

so then you decided to confront him one day.

"scara, do you like me?"

you both are currently outside, studying for an upcoming test. scaramouche answered without a second thought.

"yeah."

"no, like, ugh... this is embarrassing, i meant, do... do you like me, romantically?" you rephrased your question. this made scaramouche ponder. should he answer honestly? lie to your face to keep whatever is going on between you two? give tou the silent treatment, perhaps?

"actually y'know what, dont answer that i-" you were cut off by the contact you feel in your hands. he clasps your hand gently across the table. he looks at your locked hands, unease creeping into his system.

then, he finally opens his mouth, "if... if i tell you the truth, would you.. still stay by my side..?" you can feel his grip slowly tightening. "i like what's going on right now, it's basically routine to me now. i... i like going to your apartment every morning, i like making you bentos, i like sharing notes with you, i like...i like competing with you every test, i like being the first one to get to your chair but i also like the light in your eyes when you get there first...!" he's shaking now. he goes quiet for a bit then goes for a deep breath.

"...i like you, okay? its not even funny anymore, i can't get you off my mind... i know i despised you before, to the point where i would steal your notes back then-"

"so that's how you found out about my address..!"

he got red,

"that's-! that's not the point! and- LET ME TALK DAMNIT IT'S ALREADY HARD WHEN ITS EMBARRASSING!!-ahem- when you didn't come back i felt really guilty and i keep looking at the damn door whenever anyone comes in expecting it to be you and i felt really stupid that time. i hate how you make me feel stupid, i hate how stupid you are, , making me do stupid stuff... but i like you and i can't help it..." you can feel his hands getting cold and shaky.

"...and if you dont feel the same, then i will just kill mysel-"

"NO WAIT HOLD ON-!" you stood up bringing his hand with you. when he finally looks up, he's in the brink of tears. you held his hand "i just asked a question and you're out here announcing suicide..! i just wanted to clarify... so that i wouldn't look stupid confessing to... you and then getting... rejected..." you trailed off. you can already feel your whole face heating up, blood boiling in your stomach.

now there's two idiots outside in the park, blushing like no one's business, staring into each other's soul. one is in the brink of tears while the other is standing straight like a statue, unmoving.

after a good minute or two, after the thoughts processed, one of them couldn't hold it in apparently. tears streamed out of indigo eyes and he hurriedly tried to wipe it away, to hide the evidence of how fragile he actually is. you scammered into your bag to find something to wipe his tears away. when you got near him, you found yourself covered in him, he is grasping whatever he can hold of you, clammering on your clothes as if you are his life line. he is all over you, babbling nonsense. you can only make out some of his words like;

"fuck i thought i would have to fight my thoughts again-"

"you have no idea of what you're doing to me-"

"tell this to anyone and i will chase you down to childe's ass crack-"

"fuck i love you so much do not leave me please-" and

"I'll still take your seat, i don't care-"

literal nonsense and yet you can feel the love radiating off him at that moment. he is sobbing and furiously wiping his tears.

cofessing your feeling to someone that radiates as much personality as scaramouche is a win lose situation for you. but to him? it's either he dies or he lives, there is no in between.

extra;

when scaramouche got home, he is met with his mother at the door, a spatula in her hand.

"mom put that down, please-"

"you're late."

"it's 6pm."

"yeah and you're late. also, why are you wearing sunglasses? are you doing drugs?" ei kept throwing questions at scaramouche while he is desperately trying to remove the spatula out of his mother's grip. "mom, please i was just out with my lov- friend-- and please let go of the-"

"FRIEND?? who is this friend? you have a friend?! why didn't you tell me?!--"

"mom-"

"kuni, this makes me so happy! you have a friend! invite them over right now, i made dinner!" ei smiled at her proudest achievement.

scaramouche paled.

"YOU MADE WHAT?!"

*scara wearing sunglasses bc is eyes are puffy*

[silentglassbreak]

Anonymous

Noah Sebastian x OFC

-

Here's the 3rd part. Hoping to also get this one up quick. This story is really coming together in my head. Also, I know I promised smut, and so far have not delivered. That is coming, pinkly promise. We've got to get the foundation man!

Warnings: Alcohol abuse, overall abuse, mild violence (ie. bar fights), smut, swearing, and altogether just a lot of fuckery.

+It goes without saying. This is a work of fiction. My words are mine. Plagiarism is a crime.

Part 3 - The Grey

Sleep was a wild idea, given everything I had learned last night. I couldn't seem to quit scrolling through Google, YouTube, listening. I felt as though I was educating myself. Learning, in some way, what I was getting into. I wanted to see what I could learn about him, but he was an overall private human, even for a musician.

I did learn he is a Scorpio, born on Halloween. Originally from Virginia. The names of his bandmates. He had quite a few wonderful songs that I had added to my iTunes quickly after hearing them. So far, my favorite was Limits, which was saying a lot, given Just Pretend was still so incredible.

Throughout all of my 'research', the most important fact I learned was that Noah was very good at hiding his alcoholism. I expected to see articles, tweets, or even a TikTok about some scandal. An arrest? A fight? A drunken performance? I found nothing.

I suspect Noah is what I consider a silent drunk. Someone who doesn't drink for fun, but for release. For something to escape to. This had to be true, because I found zero evidence of his addiction on social media or in the depths of Google. I even shamelessly searched 'Noah Sebastian alcoholic' and came up with some very strange fanfiction. Interesting thought...

This almost worried me more. This meant I was going into this blind. The rockstar lifestyle was something not only musicians lived. So how did he manage to do it so quietly? Was his publicist just that good? Did he even have one?

Despite my determination, sleep finally took hold about 4AM, me waking up at noon with the videos of their music still playing on YouTube. I slammed my laptop closed and wiped the drool from my lips.

I needed caffeine.

I slipped into my house slippers, and sauntered to the kitchen, Angel following behind. I heard his quiet whine, and quickly paced to the back door to let him out before he had an accident.

Once I had slurped down half of my energy drink and let Angel back in, I snatched my phone from my bedside table. Sitting on the edge of my bed, I checked through my notifications.

Given it was my day off, I wasn't surprised to see a text from Sam asking if I wanted to come in and help him with his case files. I didn't even open it. That should answer that question.

I opened my messages to reach out to Laura. Her and I needed to speak immediately.

Before I could open her thread, I noticed a message from Noah, which made my throat dry.

Noah: Hollywood Palladium. Doors open at 6PM, but you should get there about 5 to get into your suite. I'll text you once I get offstage and we can figure out how you'll smuggle me out. We go on before Motionless in White.

Noah: Thank you again, Leena. I know this is a pain for you.

This guy isn't actually real. He is sweet as honey. Smooth as butter. And wakes up at 6:30AM, apparently? Who the fuck is this guy?

Me: I'll be there. I haven't told Laura yet. Pray for me.

His response came quickly.

Noah: Our Father, who art in heaven. Hallowed be thy name...

I only responded with laughing emojis and flipped to Laura's thread.

Me: Can you talk?

This was our code. She was working and if she was busy, she would respond. If she wasn't, she'd call.

My phone vibrated in my hand immediately.

"Hey." My voice was a fucking mess. I realized I hadn't used it at all yet.

"What the fuck is up, Kyle? You getting sick?" I cleared my throat and sighed.

"No. Just woke up."

"Late night? You doing okay?" I could hear the concern. 3 years sober, didn't mean it wasn't still something to keep an eye on.

"Yeah babe, I'm good. I need to fucking talk to you, though."

"Sure, what's going on?"

I sighed, not even knowing how to begin. I couldn't exactly tell her the lead singer of one of her favorite bands was a newly recovering alcoholic. Not without permission.

"I uh..." My brain drew a blank. "have not thought this through."

The other end was silent.

"You sure you're okay?"

I sighed hard. "I met Noah Sebastian."

Now there was dead silence on the phone.

"I'm so fucking sorry, I've lost my mind. Can you repeat that?" Her voice was deadly.

"You heard me."

"Noah Sebastian? From Bad Omens?!" I could hear her voice raising some octaves.

"Yeah a few days ago."

"Fucking where?!" I had to hold the phone at a distance from my ear.

"At...my work." My brain worked overtime to work out this lie.

"I call bullshit." She is too good at seeing through me.

"Laura, would you fucking listen?"

"Noah Sebastian did not walk into a fucking mortgage office and just happen to meet my best friend, the loan officer. Bullshit."

"Laura, listen!"

"Fuck! Fine! What?!" I could feel her irritation.

"I have tickets to their show tonight. In their VIP booth."

"Did you help him buy a house or some shit?!" That actually wasn't bad.

"Possibly. Still up in the air."

"You're such a fucking liar."

"Do you want to go or not? We'll be seeing him after."

I could feel her jaw drop to the floor. "We're going to meet the band?"

"No, not the band. I don't think. Just Noah."

"Just Noah? Christ Mileena, did you fuck him or something?!"

"Absolutely not! Laura what the hell?!"

"What?? You don't even listen to Bad Omens." I scoffed at that.

"I fucking do now."

-

After a solid hour of interrogatories from Laura, planning on getting to the event (I would drive, obviously) and what we would wear, we finally hung up.

I had about three and a half hours before I had to leave to pick her up. I had enough time for a walk with Angel, lunch, and to get ready.

When Angel and I set out on the sidewalk, and I had set up my AirPods (3 guesses who I was listening to), my phone chimed with a text. I groaned. Didn't we get through enough details?

When I saw the text though, I was surprised to see Noah's name.

Noah: Hey, weird request, but could I call you for like ten minutes?

I was puzzled, but typed a quick affirmative response.

My phone rang a few moments later.

"Hello?"

"Hey, I'm sorry." His immediate apology confused me.

"Sorry for what?" I could hear him chuckle, his voice slightly hushed.

"Calling. I know it's weird." I half-smiled. There was a level of innocence to Noah that made me feel better about this entire situation.

"Noah, I'm your sponsor. You're allowed to call me any time, day or night."

"But what if I call you at 3AM cause I'm craving sugar?"

I shook my head, weaving down the sidewalk with Angel heeling nicely at my left.

"Then we go get ice cream?"

I could hear the smile in his voice. "No way. You don't mean that."

I proudly responded. "Wouldn't be the first time."

He only snorted in response. I did wonder why he needed to call.

"Are you okay?"

"Mm, yeah. We're at the venue. Did sound check a while ago. The guys cracked open some beers. I told them I was going to take a quick walk to get some air. I feel like they might know something." His concern was thick in his words.

"Ah, okay. Well, super proud of you for walking away. That's amazing on it's own."

"Yeah?" He sounded unsure.

"Oh, one hundred percent."

"Thanks Leena." He sighed. His voice then came out a little smoother. "Did you talk to Laura?"

"I did."

"And how did that go?"

I smirked. "Well, she doesn't believe that I met you at work, so now she's got horrific ideas of how I met you, but she's in."

This made him laugh. "Horrific like how?!"

"I won't repeat it. But either way, she doesn't know how we actually know each other. I'm struggling to figure out how I'm going to explain us giving you a ride home?"

He was quiet, my guess was thinking. "How well do you know her?"

"Better than anyone, why?"

"You trust her?"

"With my life."

"Tell her. It's easier that way. Just maybe ask we don't all chat about it?" This took me back. As private as he is, and he doesn't even know me that well? Why trust me, or someone I trust, with this secret? His reputation is somewhat on the line.

"You sure?"

"Should I not be?"

I sighed. "I wouldn't risk your good name Noah. I promise."

"Thanks Leena." I heard muffled voices in the background. "Hey, I've got to go. See you later?"

I agreed, and we disconnected the call.

-

The ride to the venue was mostly quiet, aside from the soft music on the radio playing.

"So...anything else I should know before we walk in there? Ronnie Radke isn't going to be hanging with us too, is he?"

I chuckled at this.

"Listen babe, I've got to tell you something."

She lifted her eyebrow in a knowing look. "Knew you were lying."

I shrugged. "Look, I'm going to tell you this, but this is covert level secrecy. No one can know. Or Noah is fucked. So promise me? Not even your husband gets to know?"

Her look turned more serious.

"Of course babe. Anything."

"I'm Noah's sponsor." Her jaw dropped open, almost unnaturally so.

"He's in AA too?" I nodded.

"He just started. And he needed a sponsor. I offered. He needed help getting through this show and the after party. So he's going to pretend to be sick after, meet us backstage, and we're going to smuggle him out and drive him home."

I could see the wheels in her head turning. She believed me now. She knew I never lied about AA.

"Oh my God, babe." She shook her head. "I'm so sorry. I pried too hard. Jesus, I feel like an asshole."

I waved her off. "Don't, my love. He gave me permission to tell you." She nodded at that, sitting back in her seat.

After a beat, she giggled to herself. "You sure are the luckiest sponsor ever." That made me laugh. I wasn't so sure yet.

-

The show was electric. The man on stage, singing, was a different person entirely. If it weren't for the fact that he made direct eye contact with me several times throughout the night, I would've never believed him to be the same shy, unsure, uncomfortable man he was in group. On stage, he was confident, he was in control, he was the leader, and the crowd, his flock. It was insane to watch, and I would be lying if I hadn't said I felt absolutely mystified at points. I teared up when they played Just Pretend, vehemently singing along. This was not lost on him, and I caught the smirk he got when he saw my glassy-eyed singing. No different than any other fan. That's okay, that's who I was for now.

We were to not be seen or noticed. We were shadows waiting to seamlessly remove him.

Once the set ended, and everyone waited for Motionless in White to come out, moving in and out of their seats toward the bars and bathrooms, Laura and I followed the security guard who had been told to allow us backstage.

I checked my phone a few times, but still had not heard from him. As we made our way to the meet and greet area, we saw the giant line of fans waiting for their band to show up. We slyly waited against a wall behind the line. We blended in.

"Have you heard from him?" I checked my phone again with no results.

"No, but I would bet he has to do meet and greet first. I don't strike him as the type to disappoint fans."

She nodded in agreement, so we waited.

After about twenty minutes, we heard screaming, and looked over to see them come out, waving at everyone waiting in line. I saw his eyes searching. Was he looking for us?

Pulling out my phone, I shot a quick message.

Me: By the trash cans.

He was talking to a girl with his face on her shirt when he slipped his phone from his pocket and his eyes immediately scanned and found mine. The smallest hint of a smile lifted his lips. I saw him turn his back for a moment, and turning back to sign autographs

Noah: Thought I lost you. M&G will be over in 45min. Meet me in the parking lot?

I sent a thumbs up, instructed Laura of our plans, and we began our trek to the car. Once in the car, I sent a quick location pin to him so he could find us. I got a response a few minutes later.

Noah: Just look for the ancient Tahoe. Roger that.

I rolled my eyes, and despite Laura watching her concert videos, she noticed.

"What?" I showed her my phone, and she smiled.

"Well, he's funny, huh?" I nodded.

"An absolute dork." She bit her lip, turning in my seat.

"Leena?" I looked up at her from my phone screen, looking at my own videos.

"Hmm?"

"Do you like him?" I paid little attention to the question.

"Oh sure, he's a nice guy." She put her hand on my shoulder, making me give her my full attention.

"No, Mileena," she pushed my phone down. "do you like him?"

This made me scoff. "Laura, I barely know him!"

"What's to know? He's a singer in a near famous band. He's got the voice of an angel. He's adorable." This made me roll my eyes again.

"I'm his sponsor." She threw her hands up.

"Is it illegal?" I shook my head.

"No, but it's awful and would make me a terrible human. And I work very hard to be a good human."

She narrowed her eyes at me. "I don't believe that, but okay. I respect it." I smiled at her.

"Thank you Laura."

"But I still think you like him."

I was silent in response, not amused by her pushing.

“He has a girlfriend anyway, Laura.”

I watched her eyes nearly bug out of her head. “He does?!”

“Yeah, he told me yesterday.” I could see the disbelief on her face.

“I’ve never heard that. What’s her name?” I sighed, thinking back to our conversation the day before.

“He…didn’t say? Just mentioned he had one, and she didn’t know about AA yet.”

Her lips pursed. “Not buying it.”

This made my eyes widen.

“What?”

“He has a girlfriend but doesn’t even tell you her name? And doesn’t tell her he’s made a life changing decision to get well? I’m not buying.”

I rolled my eyes. “Christ, Laura, you’ve got trust issues.”

She pointed at me. “Facts. But it doesn’t change the fact that I don’t believe it.” She sat back in her seat.

“I’ll just ask him when he gets here, no worries.”

This caused a flood of panic through me. “Please don’t! He’s not the type to talk about personal stuff. He’s actually pretty withdrawn.”

Her blank expression was telling. “Noah? Noah Sebastian? The guy who just went absolutely insane on that stage? Is withdrawn? Mhm, sure.”

I sat back in my chair and groaned.

“Please? That’s his personal business.”

She nodded. “Fine, but you should ask him.”

I didn’t respond, attention now on the text I had from him saying he was headed our way. I started the car, ready for a quick getaway.

After about ten minutes, I saw his tall frame in the doorway of the elevator, jogging over to the car. I snuck a glance at Laura, who looked as though she may absolutely burst.

“Here comes the rockstar.” She let out in a sing-song voice.

The back left door opened, and he slid inside the seat quickly, buckling his seatbelt and running his fingers through his long, and now greasy, hair.

“Hey!” My voice was about three pitches higher for truly no reason at all. This was not lost on my best friend, whose eyes I saw flash over to be before turning around and looking at Noah, eyes absolutely bulging.

“Jesus, it’s like trying to escape a wild pack of hyenas!” He sat back and sighed heavily as my truck backed out of the space and began moving down the aisle. “I mean the guys, not the fans.”

I looked up in my rearview. “Did you do like we talked about?”

“Yes. Made sure to gag as loudly as possible and everything.” I could see the smile crinkling the corners of his eyes.

He turned his attention to Laura, holding out his hand. “I’m so rude, I’m sorry.” She took his hand, looking absolutely stunned. “I’m Noah.”

All I heard from her was a weak ‘Laura’ in response.

Once we hit the darkened streets, putting the venue behind us, the tension in the truck relaxed.

I looked up in my mirror again, catching Noah’s attention.

“Do you mind if I drop Laura home first? She’s got to get up early for work tomorrow and her house isn’t very far.”

He smiled. “Of course. I’m all the way in Calabasas, so no worries at all.”

I just nodded. The ride was smooth for a moment, until I heard the familiar ring of an iPhone. It was Noah’s.

“Hello?” I couldn’t hear the voice from the other end. “Hey babe.”

Laura’s face whipped over to me, I’m sure seeing my expression darken ever so slightly.

“Yeah, I’ll be okay. I’m not sure what happened, but I started feeling off before the set and by the end, I was throwing up.” He waited for the response. “No, uh…” he hesitated. “I actually haven’t drank at all today.”

Something in my chest swelled. I was such a proud sponsor. He was making an effort, and all I could do was appreciate it.

He nervously laughed. “Yeah, right? Shocking, I know.”

I could hear his tone. It broke my heart for him. I knew that conversation, I had many myself. When people don’t believe you haven’t been drinking, or are shocked to hear it. They’ll even go so far as to get angry at you for quitting. It’s a long, torturous road he’s set down, but hopefully with the right support, he will stay on track.

“Well I just caught an Uber, and I’m going to go home and pass out. Try to get over it.”

I made a conscious effort not to look at him, doing my best to respect his privacy. I could see Laura doing the same, scrolling through her phone.

“Yeah, uh, maybe we should wait until Monday? Make sure I’m not contagious, and all that?” His voice almost sounded brightened, but I was likely imagining things.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. But do you want to catch this crap?” He made a sound of approval. “Thought so. I’m almost home so I’ll talk to you later babe.” He wasn’t, but okay. “Mhm, I love you too.” Slight poke to the abdomen. Nothing to worry about. “Bye.”

My hands relaxed slightly on the wheel. No one spoke for a little while. I could see his eyes just watching the streetlights fly past the window. He almost looked sad, but I couldn’t piece together why exactly. I could guess, however, that this is harder than he initially anticipated. It always is.

Laura shared my concern, so she spoke up.

“The show tonight was awesome, Noah! Better than the one back in November!”

This sure perked him, making him sit up in his seat. “Yeah? Thank you for saying that.”

“Oh fuck yeah, dude! Watching you guys play is spiritual, honestly.” This made him crack a wide grin.

I felt a poke on my shoulder, causing me to look up.

“What’d you think Leena? How was your first Bad Omens show?” I could see him searching for my answer, but he’s not the only one who could be a smartass.

I waved my hand in a topsy-turvy fashion. “It was alright.”

“Oh shut the fuck up, you cried during Just Pretend.” Laura was triumphantly smiling.

She’s so dead.

My cheeks were getting warmer, and I instinctively cracked my window. When did it get so hot in here?

Noah let out a giggle, an actual fucking giggle. “I thought I saw that.”

“Dude, how can you see anything up there? Fire? Smoke? Lights?”

He shook his head dismissively and flopped back in his seat. “Please. I can see anything if I’m looking for it.”

His words rang out followed by silence. Laura’s face was deadpanned.

What the fuck does that mean? In a literal sense, I get what he meant but wow, what an innuendo to make. Unintentionally, I’m sure.

The context wasn’t lost on Noah, who only cleared his throat, not speaking another word.

Luckily, we were already cruising down Laura’s street, stopping in front of her driveway.

“Welp, this is my stop.” She turned to look in the backseat. “Thank you so much for the concert. It really was awesome.”

This earned her a grateful head nod from him. “Anytime.”

She wouldn’t be forgetting that.

“I love you babes, call me tomorrow?” She wrapped an arm around me while I agreed to her request. She hopped out of the car and within seconds, she was gone.

“You want to stay back there, or hop up front?”

Without answering, a long leg reached over my console, plopping Noah in the passenger’s seat. I stared at him incredulously while he beamed at me.

I shook my head and put the truck back in drive, waiting for him to direct me to his house.

[joshsindigostreak]

I See Hell in Your Eyes

Chapter Three

"But pack your heart, you might need it."

Josh Kiszka x Vampire!Reader

Authors Note: Listen, this chapter is a complete behemoth but I promise its worth it. I had so much fun writing this. I hope y’all love it just as much as I do. Shout out to @gretasmokerising @sinners-go-to-drink-the-wine and @losfacedevil for being complete angels and giving me amazing feedback and not letting the imposter syndrome take over!! Love y’all 🩸🖤🩸🖤🩸🖤

Word count: 9075

Warnings: Detailed depictions of blood, swearing, you know the drill.

You tried, and failed, to control how wide your eyes got as he said his name. On this side of the country, their last name was said in whispers, rumors, petty gossip even. Out west, they were feared. If you had friends head that way and disappear, you could bet money on them being picked off by a Kiszka. For Vampires especially, you had to be careful where you slept during the day. One of their usual moves was striking while the sun was out, and depending on which one got to you, determined how they killed you. Allegedly, one of them really, really liked the sound of Vampires sizzling in the sun, like an egg on a sidewalk. It was probably the most painful way to die. It was slow, it was brutal, and he wanted you to feel it. Sick bastard. 

While you never truly heard what their first names were, you did hear plenty of stories of a set of twins who worked together up and down the western seaboard. As you locked eyes with Josh Kiszka himself, you hoped he wasn’t one of them. If one was here, the other one was probably close by, and you didn’t need to find out which one was the more trigger happy twin. 

Josh tilted his chin, a smirk slowly replacing the snarl around his mouth. He hadn’t pulled the last name card in a while, but seeing the look on the Vampires face was worth it. The wide eyes, the little gasp she tried to hide, it always felt good to remind them of their place. Lectures from his father about how Vampires viewed themselves as Apex Predators and that it was their job as hunters to humble them. He was always taught to look at Vampires and other supernatural creatures as pests; populations they had to control for the betterment of the ecosystem. Little needed to be said now that his name was out there, he could see the understanding in your eyes, the worry starting to form between your brows. 

You opened your mouth to speak, but he cut you off, hissing out your name, “Yeah…I know about you too. Allegedly turned in the 1690s, when we were still the colonies?” He raised his eyebrows at you, watching as your expression hardened at his words, “from what your file said, you kept a low profile for most of your ‘life’ but you ran into trouble during the ‘20s in…Atlantic City, was it? Yeah that Nest you were a part of at the time had a trail of bodies too.”

“It was prohibition…you’d be surprised at how desperate humans can be for a little booze.” 

“Almost as desperate as Vampires are for blood?” 

You rolled your eyes, “that's not a fair comparison and you know it. Humans don’t need alcohol to survive.” 

He ignored your reply and continued, “...after the ‘20s you circled Europe for a few decades, spent a good chunk of time in Canada, but seemed to disappear off the map towards the late ‘90s until you popped up in this city a few years ago-”

“My favorite color is purple, was that in there?” You smiled, cutting him off. A lot of his “facts” about you were off, or flat out wrong. You would’ve laughed had it not been for the knife at your throat. He rolled his big eyes at you, and you couldn’t help but be amused at how he was almost cute when he was annoyed. 

“Can we get back to the reason why I have you against this tree?” 

“I just figured you had a thing for pushing girls up against trees.”

“Girls, maybe. Vampires? No.” 

“A shame, you don’t know what you’re missing,” you teased. Josh twisted the blade against your throat once again, this time flattening the metal against your skin, searing into the flesh underneath it. “Ah! Ok ok, yes newbies being stupid,” you sucked in breath through your teeth, “hate to break it to you but we don’t exactly keep files on each other like you hunters do with us.”

“Yes but I know Vampires love bragging about their kills. They had bounties on me and my siblings' heads when we were children.” His eyes flickered at the memory of the Vampire that broke into their house and had lifted his twin up off the floor by his hair. The way the creature had sneered at the two of them, and practically salivated while it described taking them back to its Nest to feed off one while the other watched. That was the night he learned just how hated his family was, and the image of his brother trying to wriggle out of the Vampires grasp mid air haunted him for weeks. 

As his eyes started to trail off, you could see he was deep in thought about something. The thousand-yard-stare was starting to creep over his face, and it made you pause. For a brief moment, you almost felt sorry for him. But your sympathy was limited when you factored in the knife at your throat. His fucked up childhood didn’t justify half of the shit he and his family had done. 

In the silence, an annoying realization hit you. In order to get this asshole off your back you had to find whatever Vampire was leaving the alleged bodies all over the place. He wasn’t going to leave you alone until he had another suspect to harass and interrogate. It almost made your brain itch at the mere thought of working with a hunter of all things but if it got the job done then so be it. You could leave the city afterwards and never see him again. That was the plan. 

You thought back to what you had said, about how newly turned Vampires are sloppier when it came to feeding. As you said, these things weren’t common talking points between Vampires. Bodies happened. It was part of death. But if someone had just turned someone and let them loose with zero guidance, that could turn into a problem quickly. The city you currently resided in was relatively quiet, creatures kept to themselves and the various truces between species were kept with little fuss. It wasn’t perfect all the time but the balance was a lot better here than in the bigger cities. 

It dawned on you, “have you ever been to a Blood Den, Boy Scout?” 

This snapped Josh out of his ruminations. A Blood Den? He recalled his grandfather had raided one a few decades ago. They were “public” places Vampires could feed on humans, and wipe their memories afterwards. Because of this they were hard to track down, especially in the bigger cities. 

“No…not officially.” 

“You’re in luck then! If there’s any place a bunch of Vampires are going to sit around and potentially talk about their killing sprees it would be there. Sometimes we get a little chatty after feeding. I can ask around while we’re there.” Your bright tone completely masked the gravity of what you just suggested. 

“What and have me pretend to be a Vampire? They’d see through that instantly,” Josh countered. 

“Exactly. You wouldn’t be pretending to be anything. You’d be my…human companion…for the evening.” You centered your gaze at him, arching an eyebrow as he took in your implication.

“No. Absolutely not. You are not getting a free meal off of me while you play detective.”

You tilted your head in annoyance, “Ugh, relax. I wouldn’t have to feed off of you at all. The place I’m talking about has private rooms for feedings that we can “excuse” ourselves to after I ask questions. The private rooms are soundproof for obvious reasons. No one will know we’re just sitting there waiting to leave. You just have to play along and try not to slap cuffs on people trying to enjoy their dinner.”

Josh chewed his lip at the thought, weighing his options. It could lead to the big break in his case he had been searching for, but the idea of this Vampire being in the driver's seat while he was undercover made his skin crawl. “And how do I know you’re not just leading me in there to get bled dry by you and your friends?” 

“As fun as that sounds, if you go missing I don’t need the rest of your family showing up here and completely destroying the peace around here. I know your family's methods, and I’m in no hurry to be on the receiving end of them.The quicker we find out who's being sloppy, the quicker we can never see each other again. I’m not exactly going to enjoy babysitting you all night either.” You sighed, “and besides, Dens have protocols. If I take you there as my human, no one can lay a fang on you without my permission. So all you’ll have to do is sit there, look pretty, and let me do the talking.” 

“Fine. Let's go and get this over with.” 

You tutted at him, “Oh no we can’t go tonight. It's almost Blue Hour! We wouldn’t have time to get ready and the Den is probably nearly empty by now.”

“Get ready?” 

“Oh Boy Scout, it's a classy place. You can’t just show up in khakis,” you said, giving a pointed look at his outfit. “If we show up dressed to the 9’s it’ll sell that you’re my human, even more.” 

He huffed in annoyance, “Fine. Tomorrow night then.”

“Perfect. 1 AM? We can meet here in the park. Same tree? But not against it, it’ll ruin my hair.” You replied with a small smile. 

At this, Josh finally released his grip on you, taking the knife away from your throat and slowly backed up a few feet. It was slightly jarring, you hadn’t realized how warm he had been until you felt the rush of cold from his absence. 

“Ok. 1 AM. Don’t be late,” he said, resigning himself to your plan. As much as he didn’t want to, he’d have to trust you a little bit in order to get anything done. 

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” you leaned off of the tree and started to walk away, before throwing a look back over your shoulder at him, “Wear something black.” 

At this you sped off, leaving him alone in the park. He watched you leave, trying to process your entire exchange. As he turned to go home, he could feel the adrenaline start to pump through his system at the thought of being in the literal lions den with you.

~!~

Your stiletto heels clicked against the sidewalk as you made your way to the spot in the park you agreed to meet Josh. Your dress was simple: a black bodycon number with an asymmetrical hem that went from the top of your knee on one leg to mid thigh on the other. You always had a good night when wearing that dress, and you hoped the luck would continue as you broke several protocols by bringing in an undercover vampire hunter into a Blood Den. The price of being caught doing was almost unknown, as you couldn’t recall this happening before. Your kind was very protective about their “public” places to exist. Bringing humans back to any Nest got old, and feeding in darkened alleys could be risky. It was nice to be able to let your shoulders down in a Den and have a “normal” evening. 

Rounding the corner, you found your “date” for the evening standing under a street lamp. He was a good boy, he listened when you told him to wear something black. He looked very proper in the all black suit he was wearing, the color contrasting beautifully against his skin. He had his phone in his hand, and he was tapping a message onto the surface, before shutting it off and slipping it into his pocket. He hadn’t noticed you coming towards him yet, and for once you got to observe him in the wild. The light from the street lamp was cascading down his figure and you noticed he had reshaven down the sides of his head, making the skin visible and fresh looking. He looked beautiful, and the amount of effort he had put into his appearance tonight pleased you greatly. Who knew hunters had the time for a proper skincare routine? You could tell he was deep in thought, his eyes were fixed on the trees across the path from him. The wheels were churning in his head and you almost smiled at the way his brows slowly knitted together.   You caught yourself wondering what he was thinking about, or if he was nervous about tonight. He would be in good company, as you were nervous as hell too. He was still such a wildcard but you hoped he could use all the self control he had to play along like you needed him to. 

Your heels crunched on a stray leaf, which made Josh look up and take you in. Unblinking he looked you up and down as you approached. His own breath betrayed him by getting caught in his throat. He wasn’t supposed to look at you and think anything positive, he was raised to view any Vampires attempt at vanity to be another lure for their prey, or at best, a warning. His father always compared it to how the most poisonous frogs had the prettiest colors. And yet, there you were, slinking towards him with that ever present smirk on your face. A smirk that had invaded his dreams, causing him to toss and turn for most of the night before. Blurry images of you flashed before him in his mind's eye: your eyes narrowed at him, the surprising warmth of your skin beneath his hands, your breath on his face, and finally your mouth twisted in a smile, giving him a perfect view of your sharp teeth. If he could have tried his brain for treason, he would. 

Most of the time, when a Vampire was in his dreams, it was normally scenarios where he’d have to save his siblings, or himself. They always ended the same, with the Vampire on top of him with a stake shoved into its chest. He could always see the color drain from the creatures’ face mere inches from his own, feeling the death rattle leave its lips and caress his face. It was his default setting, being the hero in his own stories. He was reliable that way, and he was raised to know it. His father had always pulled him aside to explain his responsibilities, and he knew his younger siblings weren’t subject to the same pep talks. 

At last, the two of you made eye contact, and you slowed your walk to a stop. Like the hunter before you, your brain betrayed you with quiet thoughts of what this night would be like in another life. If you were both human? If you were both Vampires? If you were anything else? You knew this wasn’t a real ‘date’. To be honest, you hadn’t been on a proper date in years, maybe even a decade. You were ok with being alone. Sure, you had your flings here or there, but anything beyond that had you running. Romantic entanglements weren’t the most ideal in your world. Plus, life was too long to be attached to someone like that. You had to focus. This was a means to an end. A way to get this obsessive little shit to focus on some other Vampire, and you can go back to your mostly drama-free life. He would fade into your memories of other hunters you’ve encountered over the decades, lost in a sea of faces you can sort of recall. You’d hope you’d remember his eyes at least…or the gap between his teeth, or that deep dimple on his left cheek, or even the scar-

“You clean up nice...for a Vampire.”

You blinked at him, immediately snapped back to reality and your default amused expression slipped on your face. “And you own something other than khakis…I like it,” you said mirroring how he looked you up and down. 

Josh rolled his eyes at you as he left the warm glow of the street light and made his way to you. “So where are you taking me?” 

You smiled even wider at him, “oh just one of my favorite places in this city. You’re going to love it!” He winced with a skeptical look on his face, “It won’t be that bad! Just listen to everything I say and keep your mouth shut, got it?

“You don’t know me very well-”

“-and honestly I’m ok with that but I do know a hunter like you won’t be stupid enough to run his mouth around a bunch of Vampires who would love to use him as a cute little juice box.” You wanted to desperately boop his nose at the end of that but held back. As annoying as he was, you loved messing with him. 

But your smile faded slightly, and you faced him fully, “there is one thing I need to make clear before we go.” 

“...and that would be?”

“You have to promise me you won’t come back and raid the place like your family is known to do. I know I can’t Persuade you to forget like every other human that goes there, so you have to give me your word you won’t leak the location.” 

Josh almost looked offended by your words, but then he realized that in any other situation that's exactly what he would have done. He could almost feel his fingers itching to reach for his phone to text Jake location details, something he had done many times in the past when they scouted out Nests in other cities. Agreeing to your terms would go against everything he was taught, every natural instinct he had, but if he wanted his answers, he’d have to say yes. 

“Fine. But I also have one condition.”

“Name it,” you said, keeping your gaze steady.

“No feeding on me when we get there, even if you get hungry or want to blend in better with your friends.” 

Your smile returned to your face, “like I said last night, I didn’t plan on doing that anyway. I’m just going to tell anyone who asks that I already fed before we got there, and that we just wanted to come by and relax. People do that all the time! You just get to sit there and look pretty.” This time you didn’t fight it and you reached out and slid your finger down the adorable bump in his nose and lightly booped the end, causing his brows to furrow instantly as he pushed your hand away. 

“Ok, ok, can we go now?” 

Rolling your eyes, you turned down the path in the direction of the Den, “Ugh fine, but please lighten up a little before we get there. It's only a few blocks away.” 

The two of you walked down the path, eventually making it out of the park and into the downtown streets. This part of town was relatively quiet, especially at this time of night. It wasn’t downtown where all the human clubs were, or where all the bars were clustered together and the streets were full of people. No, this area housed the local Mom and Pop stores, devoid of chain businesses and tourist traps. It was very quaint, and unsuspecting. 

Neither of you spoke as you walked down the sidewalk. Beyond your petty banter, you found it hard to make small talk with a hunter. What was there to say? So instead you just observed him out of the corner of your eye. His jaw remained clenched for most of the walk, hands in his pockets with his eyes set firmly ahead of him. Up close you could see a tiny red mark above his ear where he had probably nipped himself with the clippers he used to shave down the sides of his head. The mental image of him standing in front of the mirror, concentrating hard on getting both sides even almost had you stumble in your heels. Shaking your head slightly, you pressed onward, glad you were almost to the Den. 

Beside you, Josh was observing you just as much. He kept it subtle, as he was taught. He could assess a situation purely out of his peripheral vision, and this skill was only heightened when he had Jake with him. He listened to the way your heels clicked in a confident rhythm on the sidewalk, and how you never looked down at your feet or the ground once. He noticed how even with a neutral expression on your face, the corners of your lips were upturned into a slight smile, as if you walked around with an inside joke with yourself. Or how your eyes shined constantly, the wheels in your head were always turning, and you didn’t hide it. He caught himself wondering what you thought about, what made you tick, what did you do with the centuries worth of memories, what were those memories, who did you have memories with-

“We’re here.”

Josh snapped out of his thoughts, and looked up at the building you had stopped in front of. The fluorescent, “Lakeside Rx” sign illuminated the sidewalk, with a smaller sign underneath detailing, “Open 24/7”. A pharmacy? What the hell? 

“Umm…I don’t think-”

“Follow my lead, ok?” You looked him in the eyes, giving him a look to assure him you knew what you were doing. “Once I open the door, you’re my Human. You do not speak unless spoken to or prompted by me. Just listen and observe. Any Vampires you interact with will probably assume you’ve been Persuaded to be there and won’t remember anything once we leave. Its standard protocol. Since you…clearly, can’t be Persuaded by me,” you resisted the urge to roll your eyes at the memory, whereas Josh resisted the urge to smirk at the thought, “you’re going to have to play along and pretend you are. I know you don’t want to, but for this you’ll have to trust me.” 

Josh sighed and nodded his head, instinctively he didn’t want to put this much trust in you, but something deep down made him feel uncharacteristically calm about the situation. Maybe it was the way you were looking at him, or the warmth of your hand as you placed it on his arm in reassurance, or maybe it was because you were the first Vampire he’d ever met that seemed motivated by something other than insatiable hunger and blood lust? He couldn’t pin it down but he did as you said and dutifully opened the door for you like a gentleman and followed you inside. 

The overhead lights of the pharmacy flickered slightly as you made your way through the aisles. Everything looked normal and well stocked, not even a layer of dust on the shelves or various products around the store. This confused Josh even more as he followed you to the back of the store, where the prescription drop off/pick up desk was located. Even that looked completely normal, even with the singular employee he had seen throughout the entire establishment looking through prescription bins with her back to the two of you.

This was your time to shine, and you could hardly contain yourself at this point. You had seen the complete confusion on the hunters face and you wanted to laugh but you had to keep up your ruse. He really had no idea. There were so many things that humans weren’t privy to. That amount of blissful ignorance was almost enviable. 

You confidently stepped up to the counter, and tapped the bell stationed on the desk. At the shrill sound, the pharmacist snapped her head up and turned around, giving you a warm smile as she walked up to the counter. 

“Hello, what can I help you with,” she greeted in her best customer service voice. 

You smiled, knowing your next line, “I believe I have a prescription ready for pick up?”

The pharmacist tilted her head and placed her hands delicately on the edge of the counter, “can I get your date of birth?”

You smiled and nodded, “of course.”

“Alright, you can enter it here…” she gestured at a number pad sitting next to the bell. 

With zero hesitation your hand flew to the number pad and punched in your actual birth date, year of 1673 and all, pinky all but slamming the enter button as you finished. 

The pharmacist turned to the computer to her right and smiled at the information you submitted, “excellent, you can pick it up at the back counter.”

“Thank you so much,” you replied with a matching smile before turning on your heel and heading for the hallway to the left of the pharmacy window.

Josh was so mesmerized by the interaction that he almost forgot his cue to follow you down the hall but quickly recovered and took long strides to catch up to you. He had so many questions running through his head but knew he couldn’t ask you anything right now. The two of you passed a couple doors for some bathrooms, along with a couple of water fountains, which made Josh even more confused as to what “the back counter” meant but he followed you along, the only sound being the clicking of your heels echoing throughout the hallway. 

  There was a door at the very end of the hallway, which Josh figured was your destination due to where you were headed but you instead stopped in front of another plain gray door to the right, just before the end of the hallway. There was no signage or even a window on the door, just chipped paint and a worn out brass doorknob. 

You swiveled your head in the hunters direction, smirking, “wanna see a real party?”

Josh opened his mouth to speak, a little unsure if he was supposed to answer, when a loud clicking sound was heard from the other side of the door. You reached out and twisted the handle, pulling the door open to reveal a darkly lit hallway lined with ornate vintage wall sconces, the walls themselves decorated in a red and black wallpaper in a damask pattern. Josh nearly kicked himself for not figuring it out. Of course they’d have a speakeasy-style entrance to their Blood Dens. He started to file away this information in his head, but then remembered the deal he made with you outside. He’d have to keep this secret, even from Jake. 

You stepped into the hallway, allowing Josh to follow behind as the door shut behind the two of you. To be honest, you had left the human world as soon as you stepped into that “pharmacy” in the front of the building, but now that the door to the “back counter” was shut, you were completely immersed in Vampire territory. This was your world, and you felt your shoulders relax the further you walked. The hallway took a sharp left turn and before you was a set of stairs descending down, the sconces continued to light the way. 

Just before you stepped off the landing to begin your descent, you gave him one last look before softly slipping your hand into his. He was your Human now, and as such you had to show it as much as possible. Granted, most Human Companions in Dens weren’t romantically involved with the Vampire that brought them there, but a lot of them were, and 9 times out of 10 if you presented that way you were mostly left alone. If you weren’t, it was common to “share” humans throughout the night. The Vampire equivalent of a blunt rotation, or sharing food off of your plate. You had partaken in said practice more times than you could count, but not tonight. Josh was off limits, not only because of the deal you made with him but because…well he couldn’t be Persuaded to forget any of it, and it would be too risky! Yes, that was it. 

He looked down at your hand slipping into his, and he didn’t fight the grip you had on him. Once again, he was surprised at how warm you were, and how soft your skin was. While you had your classic smirk on your face, the slight tremor in your fingers told a different story. It didn’t take his impeccable observational skills to understand you were nervous. It hit him just then that you were basically committing an act of high treason by consciously bringing him with you tonight. Not only because he was a hunter, but he was a Kiszka on top of that. One wrong move and both of their heads could easily become trophies -and warnings- to Vampires and hunters alike. Keeping that in mind, he gently gave your hand a squeeze as he followed you down the stairs, matching your grip with his. You were doing this, together. 

The stairs turned and twisted, taking you at least two more levels down. As you descended, music met your ears. It wasn’t the strong bass you’d expect at a typical club, but every Blood Den was different. This particular Den leaned into “the old world” aesthetic that a lot of their patrons were nostalgic for. Classical music, a mix of candlelight and gas lamps, antique furniture, this was where you could leave the modern world behind and fully relax among other Vampires. 

As you finally reached the bottom of the stairs, the familiar atmosphere greeted you. You were now in the main “chamber” of the Den, where most people gathered during the night. On the right hand side of the room was a traditional “bar” where one could sit and get a blood-infused drink if one was alone. 

Humans didn’t even know what they were missing with Vampire cocktails. Instead of human liquor being the main ingredient, here it was blood. Vampires were always aware of different blood types among their prey, and there were centuries old descriptions and books of different blood profiles based on location, age, and overall health of human subjects. But it wasn’t until humans cracked the code to blood typing in 1901 that the science of it really took off. It was similar to how humans classified different types of wine. The thought of an A-Negative Manhattan had your mouth watering, you needed to take the edge off and calm your nerves. 

Throughout the room there were multiple antique chaise lounges and matching couches. Vampires and their human companions were scattered amongst them, some in groups of four or five and some just one on one. Each group was in various stages of feeding. Directly in front of you and Josh was a couple where the female vampire was straddling the male human, fangs firmly planted on his neck while she fed. The man had his head thrown back in ecstasy, smiling softly while his hands gripping her thighs. Josh wanted to be disgusted but knew better than to let it show on his face. He stared at the couple curiously, was…was the human enjoying that? Is that possible? He had rescued plenty of humans in his time as a hunter and they never seemed happy to be in the clutches of a Vampire. Most of them were scared shitless, and grateful to be free of their tormentors. This was entirely new to him. 

The human let out a moan and the Vampire chuckled against his throat, inadvertently spilling some blood down his neck and into his shirt. Josh hadn’t realized his mouth had been hanging open until he felt the tip of your finger push his chin up to close it. 

“You’re staring…,” you whispered into his ear.

Dumbfounded, Josh turned to you with wide eyes and opened his mouth to speak but you squeezed his hand again, letting him know he didn’t have to explain himself. It was so amusing to see him react that way, like an Amish kid seeing a laptop for the first time. 

“Let’s go find a seat,” you led him over to an empty corner booth, sliding around to the middle so the two of you could get a good vantage point to the room. The table was isolated enough to allow for quiet conversation, and Josh wanted to use this precious time to ask at least a few questions, but before he could get a word out a male server appeared at the table, focusing entirely on you. Now it was his turn to slip into character. He turned to you and gazed at you with the best heart eyes he could muster, even going so far as to sliding closer to you, completely invading your personal space.  

“Can I get you started on a drink this evening?”

 

You smiled and licked your teeth before answering, “an A-Negative Manhattan would be amazing.” 

The server threw a sideways glance at Josh, who was blinking slowly at you, resting his chin on his hand. You respected how hard he was committing to the bit. “Anything for…?”

“Oh no he’s fine,” you turned to look at him, he was so close you could feel the heat of his cheek next to yours, “...maybe some water,” you said firmly, hoping he’d get the hint to dial it back a little. 

The server raised his eyebrows in judgment, humans were so fucking weird. “Right…I’ll be right back with those.” 

As the server scurried off to the bar, Josh continued to stare at you. He was even closer than when you were walking down the street together. The last time he was this close to you was when he had you against that tree in the park, and he was noticing details he hadn’t before. Were your eyelashes always that long, or was it your mascara? He fully took in the profile of your nose and found himself admiring how perfect it looked with the rest of your face. 

You scooted away from him just far enough to regain some space. Though you found yourself slightly disappointed you could no longer feel his breath fan down over your neck and bare shoulder. 

“Easy, Boy Scout.” 

“What? You said I had to sell it.”

“Yeah but don’t overdo it, we can’t have anyone get suspicious,” you warned. 

Josh gave a sweeping glance at the rest of the room, noting the various states the humans in the room were in. If their eyes weren’t closed in pleasure from being fed on, they were gazing adoringly at their Vampire partners, as if waiting to be bitten again. “I don’t know, I think I was blending in just fine…” 

You rolled your eyes because he was right. But still, you thought spitefully, you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that. “All I’m saying is, less is more because I don’t want anyone to start asking questions while we are trying to ask questions, got it?”

“Fine,” he relented before going quiet for a few seconds. A few very short seconds before he whispered, “do…do humans really enjoy being bitten?”

You briefly considered messing with him further but decided to give him a straight answer for once, “some do. It honestly depends. I’ve fed on people who just stood there and took it, but I’ve also had a few who got really into it. Every once and awhile I can get an “arrangement” if you will where I can regularly feed on the same human, mainly out of convenience.”

Josh felt a pang of jealousy course through his system that he did not expect. 

“...but the problem with arrangements like that is they often become really messy and I just don’t have the time for the fallout. I haven’t had a “regular” in years.” 

Before he could reply the server from earlier appeared again at the table gently placing both glasses down. Josh used your distraction as you thanked the server to let himself exhale the sigh of relief at your confirmation you didn’t have any current “regular” humans. Why the fuck was he even thinking about that? Get it to-fucking-gether, Kiszka, he chastized himself. He glanced down at your drink, it looked relatively normal, but the obvious dark red hue reminded him that the whiskey it contained was accompanied by blood. 

As if you could sense his question, you informed him, “A-Negative pairs really well with whiskey. Robust but not overpowering, gives you a great buzz. It's a shame you can’t find that out for yourself with your…humanity and all.” 

Josh gave you a flat look, “I like my humanity just fine.”

“Suit yourself…though a hunter turned Vampire would be hilariously ironic.”

No it wouldn’t, Josh thought darkly. That was a train of thought he did not want to entertain. The consequences of that…no. Being turned was something his father refused to speak to any of the kids about. The emphasis was always on destroying whatever Vampire you had in front of you before that was even a potential thought. He did have a memory however of overhearing his parents talk about a raid his father had conducted. He wasn’t supposed to hear it, he had just snuck downstairs for a snack out of the kitchen when he walked by his fathers study and heard the gruesome details. Just before his father had killed the leader of the Nest, the Vampire had taunted him with the possibility, using his younger brother Sam as the example but what made it more depraved was that Sam had just turned 4. 

“Oh my god, Monica!” his thoughts were thankfully interrupted by you cheerfully calling out to a woman that was passing by the table. 

“Hello!? How long has it been, 7 years?!” Monica, the tall, willowy Vampire with chestnut hair nearly shrieked your name as she threw herself into the booth to give you a hug. She had a man with her, but from what Josh could see he was also a Vampire, but there was something off about him. 

“Bitch, I told you to call me after you came back from Italy,” you squealed and giggled into her hair. 

“I know, I know! But I was just too distracted by this one,” Monica beamed and turned to pinched the cheek of the man who stiffly sat beside her. 

“Who is this, then?” You questioned as you toyed with the metal skewer the cherry garnish of your drink sat. 

“This is Ethan…,” she gushed, “I met him while in Italy, actually! He was a human companion to a friend of mine at the time and we were all out to dinner together and we just hit it off! Eventually he ended up becoming my human companion for an entire summer but I just realized…I couldn’t let him go.” Monica leaned towards you like she wanted to tell you a secret, “I ended up turning him last fall,” oh, it was a secret all right. Turning someone wasn’t a taboo by any means, but like you had told Josh the night before, your species was very selective about the process. Turning your regular snack wasn’t unheard of but…it wasn’t the classiest thing either. 

But you used this to your advantage, “So he’s only about a year old? How has the adjustment been?”

 

“He’s been wonderful, haven’t you sweetie?” Ethan nodded with a tight-lipped smile. 

“We’re still working on the cravings and the self control but we haven’t had an incident in a few months now.” Monica explained while Ethans eyes were trained on Josh specifically, and you felt how tense Josh got next to you because of it. You kept your attention on Monica while she prattled about how being a Maker was going for her and slowly slipped your hand under the table and firmly gripped your hunters knee. You gave it a good squeeze, signaling that you also didn’t like how Ethan was staring at him. “...but enough about me, who is this?” Monica gave a pointed look at Josh. 

“Oh this is my human companion tonight…isn’t he pretty?” You looked over your shoulder at Josh, flashing your teeth in a smile. 

“Oh he’s very pretty…where did you find him?” 

You chuckled, “would you believe it I found him near a dumpster?” 

Monica let out an obnoxious laugh, “oh my god how random! Well, I hope you keep this one around, he’s too cute.” 

The music playing over the speakers abruptly stopped, and coming out of one of the side doors was a man who walked over to the piano in the corner, dramatically dusting off the bench before sitting down and starting to play a soft melody. Both you and Monica jumped at the sight, knowing what it meant. Your friend immediately started pushing her boyfriend out of the booth, looking pale and skittish. “Well it was lovely seeing you tonight! I’ll definitely call you later!” She gave you a weak wave while she grabbed Ethans hand and scurried off to one of the doors along the back wall, where the private feeding rooms were. 

Josh turned to you confused because what the fuck was that all about, but he answered his own question when he saw…him. Weaving his way around the lounges and tables, was a Vampire that was easily 6’5”, dark hair and olive skin, his presence was massive. Every Vampire, even the ones mid-feed would look up at him as he passed. 

Dimitris Nikolou. He was the owner of this Blood Den. He was at least 200 years older than you, but you suspected it was a lot more than that. You had known him very well over the years, it was his Nest you turned to when you were caught in the Atlantic City raid in the 20s, and he had accepted you with open arms, in exchange for your loyalty. You didn’t serve him, but should any rival Nests decide to start shit, you knew which side you had to take. He and a blonde, statuesque woman made their way over to your table, Dimitris’ eyes lighting up when he not only recognized you, but when he saw Josh.

“It has been far too long since I’ve seen you here,” he announced before sliding into the booth…behind Josh. His human companion slid in next to you, effectively trapping you and Josh in the middle of the corner. 

“Dimitris, lovely as always,” you greet with a smile.

“Oh Darling, after all these years it's just Dimitri to you, you know that,” he replied fondly. He turns to give a proper look at Josh, more specifically, his jugular, “Now…who is this lovely creature you’ve brought with you?” 

You squeezed Joshs knee once again, this time for your own reassurance, and to funnel your nerves to anywhere else but your face. “This is my human companion for the evening,” you said politely. 

“What a catch…such striking eyes.” You hated the way Dimitris’ eyes were raking all over Josh, but you couldn’t do anything about it. “Does this human companion have a name?”

You felt your throat start to close, there was no way you could even give him his first name only, that was too risky. You had to play it off, “I think his name was…William…I found him outside of a restaurant and decided to bring him here.” You could see the wheels turning in Dimitris’ head and your grip on Josh tightened.

He turned back to Josh, “Well William what are we going to do with you?” Once again he was staring at Joshs neck, “I suppose a little taste of him won’t hurt, would it?”

You interjected almost too fast, “No no, he’s mine for the evening, I quite like this one.” 

“Of course he is but he just looks so delicious, we’ve always shared haven’t we, darling?” He gave a look to the woman next to you, who immediately extended her wrist underneath your face. “Oh, ignore my horrible manners, this is Yvonne. I found her while scouting a new Den location in Chicago. She’s A-Negative as well, that's your favorite if I recall?” His eyes sparkle at you, triggering the memories of the bodies you shared the last time you occupied one of his Nests. 

The thing about rules is that they only work if everyone plays along with them. Vampires like Dimitris played by their own rules, and were prone to rip the proverbial rug out from under you at a moment's notice just to make a point. 

“So what do you say? A companion for a companion?”

There was no way out of this, and if you could have grabbed Josh by the collar of his shirt and drug him out of there, you would have. Instead, you’re both trapped in a booth with someone who could destroy you both with barely a flick of the wrist. 

Josh has been politely silent this entire time, keeping his eyes focused on you. He wasn’t sure if the worst part about this was the fact he was about to be fed on for the first time in his life, or if it was because he was about to be fed on by someone other than you. He felt a strong hand coil around his neck and gently tilt his head to the side, his eyes never left yours. He watched as you weakly grasped Yvonnes wrist, bringing it to your mouth. Your fangs descended from your gums as you bit into her skin, and before he could even register his own thoughts on that, he felt similar fangs pierce the skin of his neck. His ears instantly started ringing, the sensation burning a lot more than he expected it to. He quickly realized that the actual action of having your blood sucked out of you wasn’t what hurt, but the entry wounds made by the fangs, which still burned. Having your blood suddenly start flowing in the wrong direction was…different. His body felt heavier yet he was beginning to get light headed at the same time. 

Your eyes were locked onto Josh and Dimitri, distracted to the point where you were barely feeding off of Yvonne. Slowly, you detached from her wrist and placed it on the table, which visibly disappointed Yvonne, who was enjoying the whole thing. Your hand inched forward under the table, desperate to make contact at least with Joshs hand that was limply lying between the two of you. After a few agonizing seconds your pinky brushed against his, and you tried to put every emotion you could into that action, to let him know you were still here. His eyes were starting to droop, a sign that Dimitri was nearing the threshold of too much at one time for a human. 

“Dimitri!” You yelped almost too loud. 

Dimitri popped up off of Joshs neck in surprise, but after looking at Josh himself he saw the state he was in, “I do apologize…his blood is very…different than what I’m used to. It's got almost this…spice to it? It's almost familiar to me but I can’t quite place it. ” He grabbed a handkerchief out of his coat pocket and dabbed his mouth before nicking his finger to heal up the neck wound with his own blood. Given his age and experience, there was hardly any mess on Josh to clean up, and what little there was he wiped away with his handkerchief before handing it to Yvonne to mop up her wrist. 

“He is…very special,” you agreed, inching even closer to Josh who was starting to slump against the booth wall. “I really hate to cut this short but I reserved one of the private rooms for tonight and I’d really like to take him there now.” 

Dimitri licked his lips and nodded, suddenly willing to play by the rules now, “I do remember seeing your name on the books for tonight! Right, well we’ll get out of your way, darling. It was lovely seeing you again. Don’t be a stranger, you know you’re always welcome here.” 

“Thank you…Dimitri.” 

“Always, darling.” 

With that Dimitri and Yvonne slithered out of the booth, finally leaving you and Josh alone. You couldn't bring yourself to move until you saw the pair settle down on a couch next to another couple, seemingly about to repeat the process with them. This was your chance, and you quickly grabbed Joshs hand and hauled him out of the booth. He was weak, and he needed food to replenish what he just lost. Thankfully he could still walk and you were able to make your way to the back wall where the doors to the private rooms were. The door Monica and Ethan had entered still had its “occupied” light on above the frame, but the door on the far side was open and waiting. Turning on your heel you beelined for that door, shutting it behind you and clicking the lock before pushing Josh himself against the back of the door, your forearm barred across his chest, anchoring him to the wood. You had wanted a chance to reverse the roles and shove him against something like he had done to you twice, but you hated how it happened tonight.  

“That was so fucking stupid…,” you gritted out through your teeth, frustrated not at Josh for once, but at yourself. 

“It's ok..” Josh finally spoke, his voice softer than you had ever heard it. 

“No, it's not ok. If I hadn’t stopped him-”

“But you did…that's what matters.” 

You met his eyes, those big brown eyes, and for the first time in a long time you felt your own well up. You moved your arm from his chest and cradled his face in your hands. His eyes were still droopy, but they were fixed on you. 

“You need to eat something…,” you whipped your head around the room to find the mini fridge they always stocked with food for the humans to eat after feeding. It was a small courtesy to prevent any liability issues. Taking his hand, you lead him over to the antique couch in the middle of the room, gently sitting him down before crouching down in front of the mini fridge, grabbing a bottle of orange juice and a bag of chips. You shoved both items into his hands, not caring if the combination didn’t taste good. The faster you got him well enough to walk so you could get out of there, the better. Josh ripped open the bag of chips and unscrewed the top of the orange juice, wincing at the flavor combo but eating it anyway. As he worked his way through snacks you sat next to him, staring at him to make sure he was eating it all. 

After a few minutes of silence, you finally said, “I am…so fucking sorry Josh. I thought he was still in Chicago, I didn’t know he was going to be here and I definitely didn’t know he was going to do that. I know that was your one deal breaker tonight and if you end up giving the location to your brothers I underst-”

“I won’t go back on our deal,” he cut you off, voice sounding a little stronger than before. 

“But you said-”

“The deal was you were not to feed on me, and you didn’t. That creep doing it was an unforeseen circumstance, but at the very least you stopped him before anything happened. You could’ve let him finish me off and got rid of me so easily, but you didn’t. You got me back here and made me eat something,” he downed the remaining orange juice, “I might not know all the ins and outs of your world, but I do know the risk you took by bringing me here, and it won’t be forgotten.” 

“I just-”

“No, now we get out of here and think of our next move. Your friend with the newbie? We need to talk about that. He was two seconds from launching himself across the table had Count Chocula not made his grand entrance.” There it was, the humor that let you know he was feeling better. His face wasn’t as pale as it was, and while he still needed time to recover, he was well on his way. “I don’t think she was telling the whole truth about there not being any ‘incidents’ recently.”

You nodded, agreeing with him, “can you walk?”

“Yeah I think I’m ok.”

“The exit is through that door,” you pointed at the solid black door in the corner, “it leads to a set of stairs to take us back to street level.”

Josh tested his legs and stood up slowly, you quickly helped him all the way up and stood in front of him, making sure he didn’t fall back. A few deep breaths later, he nodded at you and the both of you exited through the black door. The stairs to the street were at the end of the hallway, and as you started to ascend a new panic ripped through you. On the second landing, the faint early morning glow of sunlight was creeping down the stairs. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. You couldn’t believe that much time had passed down there. Another stupid move on your part. Josh felt you retreat down a few steps, before looking ahead and seeing what you were backing away from. Without hesitation, he ripped off his suit jacket and draped it over you. 

“My place isn’t very far, we can get there quickly if we’re careful.” 

You stood there, stunned by his actions, just like how you could’ve easily gotten rid of him in the Den with Dimitri, Josh could’ve led you to your very death with little effort, but he didn’t. 

“Ok…” Securing his jacket over your head and arms, you restarted your ascent up the stairs, hoping he was true to his word in his place not being very far. 

“Come on…I’ve got you…” was all he said as he led you up to the street, and into the sunlight.

To be continued…

Tag me List: @lightmylove-gvf , @dannyandthekiszkas , @gretasmokerising , @sinners-go-to-drink-the-wine , @wideminded-dreamer , @runwayblues , @wildbluesorbit , @llightmyllovee , @rhythm-of-space , @sacredthefran , @writingcold , @alwaysonthemend , @wetkleenex-gvf , @josh-iamyour-mama , @lightsofthe-living-gvf , @gvfcinema , @sacredthethreadgvf , @losfacedevil , @jakekiszkasbuttsweat , @shutupdevvie , @hearts-hunger , @gretavanfleetposts , @andromeda-raine-gvf ,

[mono-blogs-art]

incredible chaser game w moments (part 2) up to & incl. episode 4

the most homophobic breakup you've ever seen. just, unholy behavior. on fucking god itsuki i know you had good intentions but you're the worst for doing it like that !!!!!!!!! at least let her down easy !!!!! if i was 22 and my gf of 4 years did that to me i'd fucking go insane as well

the elevator stopped working ➡️ you are trapped in with the person you hate ➡️ you are forced to sit it out and face your fears together, ultimately bringing you closer both emotionally & physically. i love this trope and i didn't know i needed it here, but it was great. step 1 to the meowmeow-ification of fuyu complete

my prediction of itsuki running into & taking care of little tsuki and the two of them then being found by fuyu, resulting in an awkward and heartbreaking scene, came true exactly like that. i think this scene was genuinely so well done and well acted, it broke my heart. i think this was the scene that really got me to say Damn, I'm invested in this now...

^ I'm still waiting for Itsuki to bring up the similar names in conversation though. like you need to talk about that

"ohhh harumoto-san, so you're part of that team?" - itsuki (sweating in closeted lesbian): "huh? what? n-no, of course not- I'm--" - "Don't worry, it's all good, we're all into BL too!!!" ➡️falsely coming out as a yaoi fangirl to your coworkers to avoid having to talk about your own sexuality. LMAO

^ this scene only being a setup so fuyu can be homophobic on main is what makes it even funnier

why. in every gods name. would you go to your boss' home address. why on earth would you do that. at least itsuki was self-aware about it too. girl you are SO unwell

every time fuyu has kissed itsuki of her own initiative, it has been when she was drunk... can we remedy that for future episodes, please? not that consent has been an issue, their mutual feelings are obvious, but i think she should be making a move when she doesn't have any liquid courage in her. step up your fucking game, fuyu

"she's a classic tsundere, after all" - fuyu, who has been severly harassing her subordinates at work (again, there seems to be no HR department at this company) being written off as a "tsundere" by the rest of the team - I mean, you're not wrong, but you should still file a complaint against her.

fuyu's husband Kouu is the nicest man on earth. my man doesn't deserve ANY of this. he even calls her dongyu. he even calls his wife by her real fucking name like the bar is so low

fuyu treats him so badly too, man, i genuinely felt bad watching it. were the 5 years of marriage all like this? was he always just a means to you getting your revenge? i'm sick. i hope they can make up by the end of the show and have a real conversation about their feelings and relationship.

that aside, i do have some theories on kouu, his disappearance, and his own feelings as well, but i'm keeping that to myself atm...

fuyu & itsuki keep having insanely homoerotic moments in front of god and everyone on earth, I'm starting to believe the only person with a gaydar in this company is the photographer from the other office. the fact that you two haven't been found out yet is honestly a massive plot hole (lmao)

has itsuki eaten anything else but sweets (cake, in particular?) on screen yet? apart from the homemade meal at the hayashi's, whenever there's a scene of her alone or with her grandma, she's always eating cake. i wonder if it will come up at some point, but it's just something i noticed. no shade though girl i'm also (almost) 27 and if you wanna eat cake for dinner alone at home I'm your nr1 supporter

i'm never a fan of the trope of a bilingual character breaking out into their native tongue for swearing or just randomly, but it is fun that only fuyu does it and that all the other chinese characters just don't speak mandarin at all. and i'm happy they actually cast a bilingual actress for fuyu!

episode 4 was the mid-series finale, and it definitely showed. this was the best episode so far by a pretty significant margin imo.

the. silent pleading fuyu puts on to make itsuki stay at the hayashi house. the most fucking 🥺*twirling my hair cutely* AND IT WORKS TOO BECAUSE ITSUKI IS JUST AS INSANE AS YOU ARE

i would like to talk about the best scene of this show yet. i really wished it was longer and was given even more weight. in episode 4, fuyu & itsuki are sitting in the living room together at night, so far apart that they're completely out of each other's camera shots even. i found this to be the most interesting scene so far. there was genuine tension in the shot composition, the acting, the complete absence of music. just silence and their voices. "after all, it was all my fault, wasn't it? that we ended up like this?" fuyu still deep down believes that she was the reason their relationship failed. she wasn't enough, because she's fuyu, because she's a woman. she still thinks that. my heart fucking broke in two

their fight after fuyu came back home drunk was so funny. especially with their height difference... hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby

after finally learning the truth about their break-up, fuyu is absolutely devastated. "you valued your promise to my mother more than the one you made to me?" just completely broken. after all this time sitting with these unresolved emotions, feelings of guilt and deep shame, only for that to be the reason? I feel so bad for her

the mutual love confession!!!!! i'm honestly a bit surprised it came so early, i thought they were just going to sleep together and not talk emotions first. but i'm not gonna complain (i just love mess) i'm also devastated that itsuki used suki while fuyu used the word aishiteru. my friends it's so bad for me right now (and them)

did. they. fuck. on. the. floor. in. the. living room.

i hope so because 1) hot and 2) although i'm still unsure as to the exact room situation of the hayashi household, don't they all have one shared bedroom??? isn't the bedroom that they're in after they've had sex (hopefully in the living room) the same one we've previously seen, where the kid also sleeps????? WHERE WAS THE KID ITSUKI. WHERE. WAS. THE. KID. WE KNOW SHE'S WITH YOU BECAUSE THAT WAS THE WHOLE REASON YOU STARTED FIGHTING!!!!!

if you had sex while your kid was sleeping soundly in the same room i'm sending both of you to superhell. i'm praying you guys just have a totally identical bed in another room. please.

if it wasn't the same bed we've previously seen from tsuki's room, that means you guys fucked in the marriage bed, which is only slightly less gonna get you sent to superhell.

in any case, happy lesbian sex to them. i know neither of you have known the touch of a woman in the past 5 years so it was probably intense. drink a lot of water in episode 5, alright? jesus.

it was also quite funny that the scriptwriter for the show tweeted out a few hours before this episode aired that "itsuki has always taken the leader position in their relationship" and that "you should watch episode 4 with this in mind" and we were all like. oh so you're telling me that fuyu is a bottom? you're telling me water is wet? fork found in kitchen??????

their lil afterglow convo in bed was just perfectly sweet. 1 point to fuyu, now presumably much more sobered up, for having the courage to ask if itsuki's gonna stay the night after all. girl you don't have to ask. i think she's ready for another 12 rounds. she's not going anywhere.

the line delivery of the "alright" (i'm gonna stay) oh my god. oh my god... oh. oh.

the meowmeow-ification babygirl-ification of fuyu is now complete

in the preview for ep5, fuyu is wearing a mixture of white and black clothes. girl... it was that good, huh?????

in conclusion:

i had a lot of thoughts on this one and i've found great joy in going deep into the twt tags for it as well. and i'm glad to see many japanese sapphics also being super vocal about the show. it's really interesting to read and interact with that side of the fandom i haven't really seen in this capacity for a (lesbian) live action show yet. i see people slowing down & brightening up footage to analyse who's taking each other's clothes off first, people just posting close-ups of Yuuka's hands, people going into Yurika's past filmography to dig up ancient clips of other sapphic roles she's played (of which there seem to be actually quite a lot?). i love to see it lmao. on a more serious note, it makes me happy to see sapphics from so far away expressing themselves similarily to myself or my other lesbian friends. it's cute!! as for cgw, part b of the series is gonna be intense, and i'm especially curious to see how they're gonna do the inevitable breakdown of fuyu again. my girl is so deep in the trenches, her temporary being on cloud 9 right now is gonna be short-lived and i want to see it happen. i hope she can really stand up for herself and make things right after all!

[awakened-omen-art]

Okay so... I've gotten into a little thing called "Clan Gen" which is a warrior cats generator game and a modded version of it called "Life Gen" which is basically the same but lets you follow a specific cat as a main character of sorts.

Long ass ramble under the cut:

I have quite a few Clan Gens and a few Life Gens but none of them have stuck with me quite as hard as Wolfpaw of Spiderclan has.

He's my second Life Gen, the first one I was doing a project on in obsidian and decided to make a side one for fun.

This save file is so beautifully cursed and I'm only on Moon 13

Wolfkit's story starts out on Moon 1 as a newborn orphaned kit on the side of a road. His parents were tragically killed by a monster and then he was found and taken into Spiderclan by the deputy Blotchminnow and her mate Rookpelt alongside their adopted daughter Condorkit

Condorkit doesn't really like to share the spotlight with Wolfkit and is often mean to him and it sucks but his new parents are wonderful to him. Literally, Rookpelt and Blotchminnow take care of him so well. Whenever Blotchminnow is too busy, Rookpelt steps in, but she always tries to make time for her kits. A very sweet working mom.

As he grows up he finds a fascination with the three medicine cats Icicledart, Robinpelt, and Spotfade. Especially when one of the patrols brings home a poisoned rabbit and many cats get VERY sick, including both Icicledart and Spotfade AND Rookpelt.

Wolfkit is constantly underfoot trying to help Robinpelt and he promises his dad that when he's old enough he'll train to be a medicine cat and make him all better.

Rookpelt gets worse. He starts coughing up blood and is asleep more than he's awake. Wolfkit is anxiously awaiting his apprentice ceremony and when the day finally comes he races to the medicine den to tell his dad only to find him completely unresponsive. The others seem to be getting better but his dad won't wake up.

Wolfpaw was too late. He was too late and he blames himself.

Completely overcome with grief Wolfpaw shuts down for several moons, unable to leave his nest to train or learn. At one point he starts getting near constant nightmares and can't sleep.

On moon 10, at 9 moons old, Wolfpaw looks to silverpelt and finally comes to terms with the fact that Rookpelt is gone. The morning after on patrol he senses a presence nearby and is overwhelmed by the scent of his dad. If he concentrates hard enough he can almost see a starry outline.

Things are finally okay.

Until the next moon when he climbs onto a branch of a tree to help Robinpelt collect some leaves, he slips on a patch of ice and plummets, breaking his jaw in the process and leaving him nestbound... AGAIN

Even though he can't go out on patrol to train, Wolfpaw tries his hardest. He's exhausted and in pain but he doesn't want to lose any more time.

He works himself to the bone, so much in fact that Icicledart comments on his tiredness and offers him sleeping herbs, and one of the kits begs him to take a break and play with them.

Even though he has so many cats looking out for him, Wolfpaw still struggles.

On moon 13 he's 12 moons old now, an adult, the age most cats earn their full name. His sister has been a full warrior for several moons since she even got her name earlier than expected at only 10 moons old.

A part of him wonders why his life has panned out this way, worried about what will happen if his jaw doesn't heal properly. He wants to prove himself, he doesn't want to let anyone else down.

Another part wonders if the darkness in his life has something to do with the dark forest. If someone is messing with him, making him miserable for some unknown reason.

All he hopes for in the future is for him to get his full name one day, he doesn't want to remain a 'paw forever.

...

So yeah that's his story so far. He's my tragic little guy and i love him so much.

There is a ton more I left out like the whole war thing that was going on between Spiderclan and Oddclan but that's a tale for another time <3

[visionthefox]

I think sometimes the VAs work when sick, but there are times where they are absent for a whole week just like when moon went missing (I think last year) and it was because he was sick, or more recently Davis and Kat moved and they didn’t appear that’s why foxy or puppet showed up.

But I do agree I wish they could go back like the beginning where they would post lore videos on the weekends and for special occasions like the first Halloween takeover like they are doing it right now. I miss them playing more and just having fun I also wish they could finish a game like little nightmares, idk that’s wishful thinking, but also don’t try and speed run the game, play it like it’s the first time, or for games like cult of the lamb have a new save file start from the beginning so viewers get interested on it, just don’t jump on it and play it otherwise people won’t know what’s going on (I speak from experience, when watching their gameplays).

Ive bought games from the ones they played just to see how it ends or if the game is not available due to it being VR I see another YouTuber playing XD

yeye is kinda of sad they only get a "day off" is when sick, tho maybe we are assuming too much- since only time I knew of Moon's VA- sorry forgot the name- being sick and still working is been these past days - but I cant even say if its true! but the constant posting is something I dont like- one thing is a gameplay, ok is easy you just and play- but lore wise? knowing how that affects the fandom? mmh trickyyy I just wish they had time - just- time - idk get to choose and see if its a good idea or not - also these lines

idk if they meant this- but is indeed a fact too - many have been saying how forced things feel- im sure the discords had to mention this enough times to be mentioned on a video aside with the "harrasment of people because of death characters" (this I know is real) just- aah give em time to cook- and listen I dont see the gameplays unless is horror or like in the villaints takeovers! yet still I rather know we will have 5 games and 1 lore to feel happy knowing is not rushed nor stressing for them if if thats the case ! but yea- let me know what yall think! im too crazy? haha

[bilightningwhumper]

Mangst 2024- Day 5

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Missed Shot (Robin Hood) Masterlist

“Can’t you see that there are people who love you?”

Summary:

Robin receives a terminal diagnosis and refuses treatment. Marianne finds out and is furious about Robin's decision. Potential spoiler excerpt from "Missed Shot"

Notes:

Sorry, this one is a long one. Adding a cut on the tumblr version of this one since it gets up to 4 pages on my doc file, lol Next one is probably going to be shorter. But having all this creative build up while being sick made this one get away from me, so we'll see how long the rest of these take for me to write. Warnings: somewhat suicidal idealization and medical trauma mention, but it's kind of vague, as all of this is from Marianne's PoV Characters: Robin- Robin Hood Marianne- Maid Marian (Fun fact, Marianne was originally Rae's name, but then Robin popped into existence and changed that, lol)

Marianne’s POV

“Marianne, wait. Wait!”

She stopped, hand tight on the stair railing. “What?”

Crystal caught up to her, breathing hard. Once she caught her breath, she said, “You can’t just go in and yell at Robin. She’s already been traumatized enough. What do you think is going to happen if you go in and start yelling at her?”

Marianne felt her teeth squeak from clenching them so hard. “I can’t just be okay with her dying.”

Crystal sighed. “I’m not saying you should be. Just…” She put a hand on Marianne’s arm. “Don’t go in guns blazing. That’s all I’m asking.”

She knew Crystal was right. She did. Taking a breath, she did her best to relax her body. At the very least to make her scent lessen. It wasn’t until she’d stopped that Marianne realized she could smell her own frustration and anger. Thank god she was in the Alpha Dormitory or she’d have put a lot of omegas in distress.

Crystal pat her arm softly before backing away. “For what it’s worth, I do hope you change her mind.” Then she left Marianne standing alone on the stairs.

Taking a moment to breathe more, Marianne continued on her way to Robin’s room. Granted, at a much slower pace. It just didn’t make sense to her. Even though she barely knew the other alpha and had only seen her from afar till now, she’d seen and heard the effects of what Robin had done. Yes, she’d been a part of how they’d been able to free Sam. But she’d helped so many others in the Institution. Helping them escape. Keeping spirits up. Helping people stay themselves under the brainwashing. How could someone like that be so willing to just… give up?

Once she got to Robin’s door, she realized her hands were shaking. How exactly was she supposed to do this? This wasn’t exactly how she imagined introducing herself to her soulmate.

Creak

Marianne startled back as the door opened. Dull gray eyes met hers as the two alphas stood before her.

Robin was the same height as her, she noticed first. Short brown hair hung limp on her shoulders. Her clothing was clean, but rumpled, as if she’d been lying in bed before opening the door.

“You smell like your brother.” Robin’s voice was as tired as the expression on her face.

Marianne licked her lips, mouth suddenly dry as Robin’s scent hit her right then. Pine and… She didn’t know someone could smell like mulled cider. It made her knees weak, regardless. This wasn’t going to plan. Sam told her Robin didn’t believe in soulmate partnering. Falling for this girl would be a mistake. Even if she did look adorable in a slightly over-sized shirt. And her lips looked very kissable.

Aaand she’d been staring. Crap. Say something.

“Is that a good or bad thing?”

Okay, not great, but progress.

Robin just shrugged, leaning against her door frame. “Neutral, as far as I’m concerned. Just means I know you’re related, because yeah, it’s not exactly the same, but I knew I could open the door without it being a nosy doctor coming to check on me.” Her eyes, dull as they were, still pierced Marianne, sizing her up. “I’m going to gather Sam sent you here to persuade me to change my mind?”

She said it so blandly, Marianne felt her teeth instantly clench again.

“No fucking shit, Sherlock. He’s devastated, just like the rest of your pack. And can you really blame him? Deciding to die and abandon everyone?”

So much for staying calm.

Growling lowly, Robin grabbed Marianne’s arm and yanked her into the room. The door shut with a snap as Robin rounded on her. “Stink up the whole place, why don’t you? You’re going to get everyone riled up at this rate. I get that you’re mad on behalf of your brother, but you need to calm down.”

Now enclosed in the room, Marianne’s scent surrounded them. She tried desperately to calm down, but being here, in front of her soulmate, her dying soulmate, she couldn’t stop spiraling.

“I just don’t get it. How can you just not even try to live? There’s treatments, medications, things to keep you alive.” She raked her fingers through her hair. “You’ve got so much to live for, so why?”

Robin pinched the bridge of her nose, closing her eyes. “Look, you don’t know me. Trying to convince me to change my mind is a waste of your time. All you need to know is I made my peace a long time ago that this was a possibility. So once you’ve calmed down enough, you can go comfort your brother.”

“You’re just giving up.” Marianne snapped. “Do you even care about what that’s going to do to everyone that cares about you?”

“They’ll move on and see they’re better off without me.” Robin’s voice was level, resigned.

Marianne wanted to shake her. “But- you- They’re better off with you! Can’t you see that? Can’t you see that there are people who love you? Why else do you think I’m here?”

“They shouldn’t.” Robin snapped, scent flaring to match Marianne’s. “No one should love me. Not after what I’ve done.”

“What, helping people escape that hellhole? Taking care of people you were told to hurt and overpower? Even though you knew you’d be the one punished for it?”

Robin looked like she was chewing on her tongue, jaw tight, fists clenched. When she spoke, her voice was low, a snarl underlying it. “You should stay out of things that are none of your business. This is my life. So you-”

“I’m your soulmate, so I think this is my business.” Marianne growled.

Something flickered in Robin’s eyes as she flinched back. “You’re… You’re Marianne?” she asked slowly.

Marianne softened slightly, smelling the unease in Robin’s scent. “Yeah, I’m Marianne. You didn’t know?”

For the first time since she opened the door, Robin refused to look at her. “I knew you were one of Sam’s sisters. But in my defense, he has a lot of them. Of you.”

At a loss, Marianne didn’t know what to do now. All the fight seemed to have left the other alpha. She’d shrunk into herself, shoulders hunching and, without stepping away, had drawn back away from Marianne.

“Yeah… That makes sense.” She pulled at her hair, debating whether or not to hug Robin. “But I’m not looking to start anything. Sam told me you don’t have any interest in being anyone’s soulmate.”

Robin looked up then, eyeing her. “So what do you want then? Other than to shout at me?”

“To be friends? Acquaintances? Two people that just vent at each other about how stupid and oblivious my brother is?”

She got a half smile for that. “Sam’s not that dumb.”

“So you’re telling me he didn’t complain and pine about Derrick to you at all. Or Hannah for that matter? Even though I’m pretty sure that it’s clear upon seeing either of those two with him they’re as smitten with him as he is with them?”

A small laugh. “Okay, yeah, it was sickeningly sweet. I wanted to smother the kid sometimes.”

Marianne smiled, stepping closer tentatively. “So, can you at least think about it? If the treatments or meds don’t help, I won’t keep pushing. But can you at least try?”

“I…” Robin sighed, rubbing her eyes. “It’s not that simple.”

“You don’t have to answer now.” Marianne said, throat tightning, though she tried to hide it. “But at least just think about it, instead of just saying no.”

She didn’t get any answer, though she didn’t expect one. Resisting the urge to give Robin a hug, she stepped past her and left the room. Down the stairs. Back outside to sit on a bench and put her head in her hands, all the tension leaving her body at once, leaving only exhaustion behind.

She had tried. And hopefully that was enough.

[dailyunstableeve]

Together

Hobie Brown x witch!Fem!reader

Chapter Two

Hobie Brown's Masterlist

°:. *₊ ° . ° .•°:. *₊ ° . ° .•°:. *₊ ° . ° .•°:. *₊ ° . ° .•°:. *₊ ° . ° .

It's another day of your highschool, you're walking down the hallway trying to get to your locker so you can dodge your bullies. Unlucky for you, that tactic never works for you. As much as how much you wanted to use your power to get you out of here but you know you could end up hurting someone you didn't want to, especially Hobie.

"Where are you going Y/N, aren't we gonna have some fun?" That taunting tone belongs to your bullies.

"Please just leave me alone," you mumbled.

"Can't hear youuu~"

"Please just leave me alone!" You bring out the courage inside you and push your bullies away from you.

"You dare to push me?" The bullies are furious, they stomped their way to you but stopped when a tall figure stood in front of you, his back facing you.

"Did you not hear her, leave the lady alone."

Just like that, your bullies walked away, leaving the tall figure turning to you, "are you alright luv?"

Before you could answer, you woke up from the beeping in the background. That's as annoying as your daily morning alarm. You slowly got up, looking at your surroundings, it looked nothing like your room.

"You're awake Miss L/N," a hologram human appeared in front of you which frightened you a little, "my name is Jarvis, nice to meet you. Please don't be afraid of me, I mean no harm to you, please rest while you can, I shall inform everyone that you've woken up," just once Jarvis is done speaking, he disappears.

You told yourself you should flee but your body is too tired to move, even though you've been sleeping for you don't know how long. All you can do is wait for someone to walk in and hope you manage to convince them to let you go.

A few minutes passes, someone finally walks in, a redhead woman in a nurse outfit and you can immediately tell who's that, even if their current outfit is so different from what they usually wear on mission, you can see through her disguises.

"You're Natasha Romanoff, Black Widow, what are you doing in a nurse outfit?" You bluntly asked.

"Huh, so you know things," she smirked, taking off the nurse cap.

"It's quite easy to tell, judging by uh, you," you nervously smiled, a force of habit to hide the fact your powers allow you to see people's aura.

"So tell me, Y/N L/N, how did you end up here?"

"Pretty sure you know why, the purple alien? Spiderman swung me all the way to the war zone and asked me to help you guys."

"Of course I know that, but I'm curious on how you got your powers" she looked at you.

"I'm a mutant, and I know in papers, my parents aren't mutant, I got it from my grams, she's a mutant," you explained, "please tell me killing that purple alien is gonna get me into trouble."

"Maybe a little," since you've seen through her disguise, Natasha has no reason to hide anymore, she sat next to you on the bed, "but you've saved the world by doing that, maybe you'll get off the hook."

"We've checked your background, it seems like you're in need of money, to support your family and may hope you can continue studying," Natasha read out the file that just appeared in thin air, it must be Jarvis, "we can help you with that."

"By how? Joining you guys to save the world?" You asked, and Natasha replied with a nod, "yeah, no, what happened with that purple alien was an accident, I don't want to use my powers."

"Too bad, you're born with it, use it well, I have people who can help you, give it a try, for five months," Natasha smiled.

"I have to think about it, can I go home?"

"Yeah, I'll prepare a ride for you."

Once you got home, your family was worried sick about you. They updated you that there was a man in black showing up at the doorstep informing them that you're at the superheroes compound resting. Your family can't go there so they can only wait at home, worried sick about you.

"I'm alright now mama," you kissed your mom's cheek.

For the next few weeks you ignore as many calls as you can that aren't from your phone contact, any unknown number will go to miss calls. It is understandable that many dreamed to be superheroes, and fought alongside their idol, to you it doesn't work that way. As much as you thank the superheroes who fought for everyone's safety, especially the innocents, joining them is not what you hope to live your life as.

A few knocks from your window caught your attention while you were struggling on your studies, without getting taught by a professional teacher is really hard for you.

"Who's there?" You slowly peek out from your window. What appears in front of you is the one superhero you admired, SpiderMan, or you should say, Hobie Brown, your high school crush, "Hobie? Oh sorry, you're wearing the mask at the moment, SpiderMan."

"Mind I come in?" He gently asked.

"You can but I think it's best we talk at the fire escape, my walls are thin," you whispered and climb out from your room to the fire escape.

"You look alright."

"Do I? 'Cause I was struggling at my studies," you nervously laughed.

This is a wild moment for you, the person who you admire as a hero and your highschool crush is just next to you.

"So, what do I owe the pleasure for SpiderMan to be on the fire escape outside my window?" You looked at him.

"Just wanted to know how are you since you were out of contact for weeks," he took off his mask, the hair of his just puffed out which it's a sight to see. Other than the hair, there's the face of your highschool crush, the guy you crushed on for four years and lost contact with right after graduation. Seeing the face still reminds you of those days how he's the light of your life during highschool, he didn't cling onto you but at least he would look after you when you needed to and say 'hi' every time passed by.

"Thanks for checking up on me," you smiled and sat down on the edge of the fire escape, Hobie joined you too, "judging by how you're a superhero, I guess you standing up at my bullies is just an action of justice."

Hobie just stayed silent.

"I'll take that as a yes since there's no replies, but thank you for everything you did," you continued.

"You're welcome."

You hope you're getting the wrong vibe but he seems more quiet today.

"I'm actually here because the groupies ask me to get you to join them and protect the world," Hobie said.

"I don't think protecting the world is what I can do, I only bring chaos, with the power I grew up with and couldn't control," you stare down at your palms, you always use your power by a wave of your hand but now you just doesn't want to use it at all.

"They can help you, they are experts, especially that baldie, Xavier," Hobie hummed.

"Thanks but no, I don't want to."

"I can be there, since you only know me," Hobie suggested, "figure you might feel safer with someone you trust or know with you."

Thinking about how Hobie just told you if you go, he'll be there for you, tempts you to say yes but you just have to stay stubborn and convince yourself to never use your power. The temptation is too high, as much as you wish to spend more time with the person you care about, Hobie.

"Five months, if I were to still unable to control my power when I use it, I'll leave."

⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⭒─⭑─⭒──⭒─⭑─⭒──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝

a/n: who could resist their crush 😭 even I can't resist Hobie ;-; I wonder what kinda of story they will ended up.

Chapter One <-

Chapter Three ->

Chapter Four ->