#{: The demon's facts

[warthogreporter]

And now, a brief look at the human fucker community on a monster version of tumblr

🐙 WetterThanYou Follow

It's so sad that humans can't breathe underwater, makes bringing them to my lair so much harder

👺Ascetic-more-like-ass-cetic Follow

Was anyone going to tell me humans can't breathe underwater or was I supposed to just learn that from a text post?

🐙WetterThanYou Follow

Please tell me you didn't seriously look at humans and go 'they look like they can breathe underwater'

👺Ascetic-more-like-ass-cetic Follow

I thought they were like lions and how some live in the sea :(

🦁BEaST-MAN Follow

DID YOU THINK SEA LIONS WERE LITERAL LIONS?!

👺Ascetic-more-like-ass-cetic Follow

They're not? 😭😭😭

(10,053 Notes)

🐺HereWolf Follow

Vampires will be like 'I love humans' and then transform every human they know into another vampire. Weak. You are like someone who only watches Marvel movies and calls themselves a filmbuff.

🏏Batass Follow

Hey OP this is an important part of many vampire cultures so you should tone it down because this is really offensive.

🐺HereWolf Follow

You should get a culture that isn't fucking lame.

🦁BEaST-MAN Follow

OP you are literally a werewolf. And into throwing stones in glass houses I guess.

🐺HereWolf Follow

Gurl you don't know the amount of effort I put into keeping my human girlfriend a human girlfriend because I love her for being a human.

(8,000 Notes)

💚CraftedLove Follow

In the club on a date with a human straight up breaking it. And by 'it,' haha, well. Let's just say. His sanity.

(42,069 Notes)

🧙‍♂️ Crystal-Rooster-and-Orbs Follow

Sick of getting added to group chats like 'plots to overthrow our lieges.' Yes, I am both an evil wizard and an evil vizier. But I'm not plotting any treachery because my king is also evil, and so is my queen. We are in an evil polycule and give each other evil night kisses.

🧙‍♂️ Crystal-Rooster-and-Orbs Follow

Also stop telling me about the evil queen's OnlyFans like the king and I aren't helping her run it. Who do you think is taking the pictures? You have no idea how many evil yet deeply impractical schemes it's given us the economic cushion to do.

(48,835 Notes)

🤼‍♂️Bitch-of-Heracles Follow

Need me a human who will hold me like this and just destroy me 😍

♣️HeraclesOfficial✅ Follow

Hey.

🤼‍♂️Bitch-of-Heracles Follow

WHY DID NOBODY THINK TO WARN ME HERACLES WAS ON THIS WEBSITE?!

(33,333 Notes)

This now has a sequel, and a third act

[urproblematicfav-arsonk]

My fav part in Stayed Gone is when Al is bullying him, Vox tries to physically block Al's radio

And then the next scene it shows that Vox didn't block shit and just recreated Alastor's radio on his TVs to rp himself doing literally anything to effect the situation meanwhile, in reality, nothing has actually changed.

Which is??? Honestly???? So embarrassing for him. Why do you have Al's radio room saved like a fucking screensaver you absolute gay loser

[breesperez139]

Dc x Dp Prompt #6

“I’m a twin”, Damian said one night. He could feel the narrowed eyes of his family drilling holes on his back in disbelief. Not that he could blame them. Damian had never so much as implied being raised with a companion, much less a sibling.

“I had a brother”. Damian paused to recollect himself. He had not said his brother’s name out loud in over 8 years.

“His name was… Danyal”. Damian hated the way his voice wavered, but he could not help it. Danyal was everything to him, his other half. Their heart beat as one and when one heart stopped beating, the other one died with it. At least until his family put his heart on metaphorical life support without ever realizing.

“Where is he now?” His father asked, voice filled with knowing grief and a hint of betrayal. It had in fact been 6 years since Damian first showed up on his doorstep.

“Up there”. All eyes shifted towards the specific star he was pointing to. “Right before he died, he promised me he’d guide me from the stars. Unfortunately, the stars are not visible in Gotham, so my brother is unable to be of much help unless I leave the city.”

“Your brother is Polaris, the North Star?” Tim questioned warily, most likely in attempts to not offend him. Damian was aware of how stupid it sounded, but Danyal had promised, and his brother never broke his promises.

“Yes. Danyal is with the stars now, just as he always wanted”

[thesociallyanxioussociopath]

Part 4 and End of Alastor's bad day Alastor survived his fake date and will probably (not) think twice in the future before trying to one-up Lucifer on unknown projects. Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

[thethoriumreactor]

human alastor

(With a bonus baby al)

(Ignore whatever tf I did with the microphones idk how they work I’m sorry)

[snowheartsz]

THE WAY I SCREAMED????

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

DEMON'S GUIDE to ANGELIC BEINGS who WALK the EARTH

HASTUR’S FURFUR’S COPY DO NOT REMOVE

(the end of the entry for the previous angel:) On sighting: TORMENT An easy target, any demon who does not proceed to aggravate said angel in execessive quantities will be PUNISHED with full diabolical force.

******

AZIRAPHALE

Principality. Angel of the Eastern Gate.

Appearance: Fair hair. Suspishus Ears. Plum hands. Replusively soft (underlined by a pencil several times). Can genrully be found wearing various shades of loathsome beige. Occasional spectacles.

Stationed: Land of the Angles, Hemisphere of the West & North.

Residunce: Angelic Embassy X also known as AZ Fell & Co, 105 Whickber Street, London.

Known Earthly Occupations: Guard of Eden, Music Tyooter, White Knight, Garden Deziner, Bishop, Bookseller. (written by a pencil: +TERRIBLE MAGISHUN)

Weaponry: Flaming Sord.

On sighting: AVVOID A wily opponent, this demon smiter must be warily approached. Report any interactions to the demon Crowley. (the word 'Crowley' is circled and underlined several times by a pencil + note: CHANGED HIS NAME? YUCK!)

A NOTE BY A PENCIL SAYING: CROWLEY IS SUSPISHUS! DON'T TRUST HIM! HIS HAIR IS BAD!

******

BARAQIEL

Dominion. Angel of the Sky.

Appearance: Hair an eye-burning jinnjer. Eyebrows with the appearance of a grisly slug. Often draped in red. Occashunly damp, most likely singed.

Fun fact:

[angelofdumpsterfires]

so my initial theory regarding how they’d handle the hell arc in tlovm was that they’d combine it with the quest for the dawnmartyr’s plate (bc they both involved a contract to kill a pit fiend and also hotis isn’t a thing in the show)

but upon the trailer i don’t think that’s the reason they go to hell

note the whitestoney design on the casket here, this is percy’s casket

NOTICE THE DISTINCT LACK OF PERCY IN ANY OF THE SHOTS SET IN HELL (especially since percy was such a lead in that arc with his deal with ipkesh and all)

I THINK THEY’RE ON A MISSION TO RESCUE PERCY’S SOUL FROM THE FLAMES OF HELL POST GLINTSHORE

(and the dawnmartyr’s plate is just a bonus here)

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 331

Demon twins? Demon twins. 

Damian? Good at the assassin side of things, at least for a four year old, but Danyal? He’s okay, but he’s far better at things like poisons and bookkeeping. Which is honestly? Okay. They’re the League of Shadows, and sure a majority of the members are assassins, but it’s definitely not all there are. So? Danyal starts getting medical training. 

Not to say that either of the boys don’t know their fair share of violence and healing- it’s just better to let them play to their strengths. One doesn’t keep a league over centuries if they just have one type of warrior, or even just warriors. A variety is needed. 

So one gets trained more towards the business side of things. Damian may be better at wielding the weapons and killing- even if neither have had their first kill quite yet- but Danyal shows far more proficiency at acting, at masking who he is and gathering information. 

Damian, when he’s first sent to their Father, doesn’t mention his twin. Not because he’s jealous or hates him or anything like that. You just don’t talk about someone in an undercover mission in the League, and it’s not something he realizes isn’t a rule everywhere. 

Needless to say, the Bats have more than a mild freakout the first time Damian mentions a twin who will be coming to the manor now that his mission is over. 

[devildomwriter]

Fun Facts 691-700

• Mephistopheles believes skeletons aren’t something to get worked up over but is very bothered by insects.

• Mammon promises MC he’ll always make them laugh.

• Among Satan's many cursed books are a series of books that change the reader's age from 0-100 and a book that turns you into an animal

• Mammon's fear of ghosts originates from him getting possessed

• Before coming to the Devildom, Simeon assumed angels couldn't have dreams

• Both Asmodeus and Diavolo say “Okey-Dokey"

• Diavolo once snuck out of the castle to go to Cocytus hall but got lost

• Diavolo's father put a barrier around the castle that Diavolo couldn't pass unless he answered a series of questions correctly. False answers resulted in death. This was one of Diavolo's favorite childhood pastimes

• Barbatos was rumored to be stronger than the demon king

• Simeon was once temporarily employed at the Demon Lord's Castle

681-690 • 701-710

[captainjonnitkessler]

Just deleted the ask I was trying to respond to, but re: "skeptics always die in horror movies" - I have mixed feelings on that trope!

On the one hand I think it sets the tone and helps the audience suspend their disbelief - people are always complaining about horror movie characters being idiots, so this can be a way to be like "see? We DID consider rational explanations, and then someone immediately got murdered very supernaturally, so stop asking questions and accept the premise."

On the other hand, I think it definitely contributes to the idea that skeptics are close-minded killjoys who are too stubborn to accept reality, which is a very common and incredibly annoying mindset. Shane Madej did not spend the last eight years marching into haunted houses and loudly demanding that the demons inside kill him for me to still be hearing shit about how "if you don't take the supernatural seriously you will Attract Evil Energies And Die".

[boarloved-art]

*wwx voice* when lan zhan visits yunmeng we should play 7 minutes in heaven and we should get specifically me in there with him think of how funny itll be if we made ou- i mean freaked him out

[ID by bytedykes: MDZS fanart. Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are in a closet. Wei Wuxian has Lan Wangji backed up against a wall, one hand blocking him in. He's leaning in, smiling. Lan Wangji has a nervous expression and has an Episode-style thought bubble that says, "So this is 7 minutes in heaven..." then there are two choices: "Make out?!" and "Strangle him with a coat hanger". /end ID]

[spkyart]

Heck 💀

[neptunym]

[hinamie]

もう一回、もう一回

[clownowo]

🤨

bonus: