#{i said what i said. enough oh but martha deserved better. I WANT SEE IT IN TELEVISED ACTION. no. excuses.} | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

castle-dominion · 3 months

Text

skipping ahead of my family watch & my binge watch bc I feel like a change in pace:

7x16, the wrong stuff

Love space, I just read the martian last year. V nice. What I wouldn't give for a hot girl XD. This is a movie set right? We saw the sideways thing

Oh rick & alexis <3 <3 <3 OH NO IT IS NOT RICK, WHO IS SHE PLAYING WITH WHO IS THIS BOYF? Martha was here? WAIT MARTHA WAS WITH BENJAMIN HIS PJS??? it seems everyone is taking his life/stuff lol

Ryan's shoulder things, pretty. Also keep forgetting alexis is an adult.

Visitor badges lol wait mars lol, legit? Our victim is on mars!? "out of our jurisdiction" lol these are, not this is.

He signed up to go to mars? They made a yucky air place? CASTLE GETS TO WEAR A SPACESUIT he should ask her to remarry him, just say "Ryan be the officiant for twenty seconds, beckett say you love me, I do, I got married in space!"

Castle takes directions like me Doctor Haroun, interesting. SEALED 9M EXPERIMENT!?

Ryan is NOT INTERESTED IN GOING TO MARS!?!? or was it to be nice to castle? the gravity scene, this is amazing, I love this so much lmao, & the music too. "didn't have to go through astronaut training"

Castle doing his cute jumps

Luke Reichle my man! Or maybe they could survive the atmosphere for a few minutes, long enough to kill the astronaut & then get out with minimal rash-getting.

RC: (whispered) One small murder for man, one giant mystery for mankind. KB: (whispered) Even when you whisper, everyone can hear you. Radios Oh esposito, shaking his head like that

Audio editing my beloved This is so multicultural, just like The Martian. EW I HATE THE COMPUTER

She can /hear/ you yk...

THEY GET TO MEET THE INTERNED BILLIONAIRE!? if it is not a request then you need a warrant.

RC: There goes my rise of the machines theory.

There is going to be an animal that can survive there, they accidentally created life. Oh esposito is still on the ship in the sim! He's going to actually really really love it, start applying to astronaut programs (esp since the other ex-military astronaut got murdered) Oh yeah, to see if you can handle it too. I remember in The Martian, the crew had to spend a week in a cubicle-sized thing. The murderer stayed in there since the start of the experiment!?!? They would go insane from no human contact bro!

Nice intro!

Love a good bit of ass-posito (sorry) OH NO HE;S GOING TO END UP STUCK IN THE MARS SIMULATION WITH THE ALIEN/MURDERER & THEY WON'T BE ABLE TO HELP HIM HEHEHE

Yeah he probably WAS seeing things... Yeah I trust their security Or not ig lol When was the vic's "seeing things" vlog made? he is, after all, an internet guy Ah, if this pilot dies they'll have to get the second choice, like in the airborn series (which got way unrealistic by the end & had a lot of deus ex machina & he totally deserved better than that girl even tho he was also not such a great person)

Love castle's jacket btw

So did he ever get charged with attempted murder?

Out of the country? Very far away convenient alibis. Nova scotia? I thought he said he was in connecticut. Also heck yeah canada! You know, canada should be broken up: maritime provinces, ontario+quebec, the prairie provinces plus BC (Metis country babes), & the territories.

KR: Mars? Nova Scotia? This guy really loves barren landscapes.

KR: If I want to fly thousands of miles to see a lifeless orb I could just visit Jenny’s grandmother. Same hostile environment, same freezing temperatures, same noxious atmosphere. BRUH (& her gramma is still alive?)

Ryan's outfit, also castle & esposito, & also beckett, they are all so pretty.

It is probably a youre-in-close-quarters-your-lives-depend-on-each-other type relationship ALSO I TOTALLY GOT THE FEELING IT WAS GOING TO BE A GIRL, HAHA I KNEW IT, MY GAYDAR IS REAL! (no it is not)

Ew tom, listen, you shouldn't be flirting with the ppl you're going to space with. Genuinely.

Oh no he was going to be an astronaut but she got in w/o him so he became a facilities engineer... sabotage? girl I get wanting to be WITH her but let her go to mars for the both of you... & then ofc she broke up with you but still, you were part of the mission in a different way, if she didn't go & fall in love with someone else I'm sure that you two could have worked it out. Except that you would sabotage the trip to keep her instead of collaborating on a solution so maybe you SHOULD have broken up... better now than later.

George Reyes: I’m not so sure about that. Us: WAIT WHAT tunneled thru?

WAIT THEY ARE ACTUALLY CHECKING IF THEY TUNNELED THRU? What are these icky cobwebs?

KB: Castle, boost me up. (Typical XD) RC: Why am I always on the bottom? (lmao sexy) She just gives him a look. RC: Yes, dear.

She IS a scifi geek (get married in space y'all) SHE APPLIED TO GO TO MARS!? Love this version of the theme, sounds great. Duncan robert or smth? What's the composer's name? THE SCREWDRIVER! a snake? water? NEUROTOXIN? WAIT IS THAT A DOG-- IS THAT AN ALIEN (or fake alien? or a person in a mask that is not the typical spacesuit mask?)

He pushes KB’s hair away from her neck and runs his flashlight over her skin. KB: What are you doing? RC: Checking you for bites and scratches. Making sure you didn’t somehow get impregnated. KB can’t stop her eyeroll. KB: If you think that’s how I get pregnant we need to talk.

RC: IT SHED ITS SKIN

I like how she speeds up her talking to finish her explanation, then says "excuse me" then leaves to take the phone call.

Prints on the mask from when they put it on?

Ew spider webs lol I def heard stuff in there lol Oh, they take off their shoes outside the door...

AC, in front of her friends: Wow you two. Get a room. RC: We would. if there were any LEFT!

Ooh her hair is nice today & the rest of her outfit is good too. "Heyy Castles!" They are married! I love them so much! Wowie that outfit on ryan. He's had a lot of dark jackets with broad shoulders recently. His tie looks too fancy tho, smth I'd wear to an event. & his hair also looks like he's going somewhere. He would fit in at a funeral & I don't mean that in a sexy emo way. Actually I kind of do, he looks good I just don't like it.

Ooh Esposito's outfit too. All his layers. Very bisexual of him.

RC, in a voice: Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of Castle and Beckett. (Beckett smiles at his antics.) Their ongoing mission: to explore strange new motives, to seek out new witnesses and new suspects for murder, to boldly go – oh, right over here.

Lol easy code. They probably change it frequently tho.

Oh! It's another space thing! corporate espoinage! Have we met him before?

It's like that time some author got investigated by the military. He saw the public floor plan for a boat but the rest of the floor plan was confidential. He then thought about it for a while & figured out the most efficient floorplan for a boat like that. The military said "how did you know our floor plan?" & he said "this is the best way to build a boat, of course you would make it like this". These things have the same end goal & so since they are both going for the best path to achieve that goal, they end up with the same (or similar) technology.

Interesting reaction.

That feels like it should not be the best way to decide who goes on your mission... But he was the first choice before he got emotional! But he did get emotional... SOMEONE was stupid enough to leave the murder weapon

SOMEONE ELSE ON THE INSIDE WAS IN ON IT Mikhail? No my beloved!

Oh no he's going to bust open esposito's helmet to the noxious gas OH & I REALIZED, THEN RYAN IS GOING TO HAVE TO GO IN & SAVE HIM & ofc they'll end it with witty quips about how ryan now wants to go to mars.

This is an awesome fight/chase scene JE: Come on, Mikhail. Are you crazy? Bro! Where’re you going to run? You’re on Mars! (I could clip that but I won't)

That's not the usual door they enter through... He was leaving &... never coming back??? wait what?

Oh they're def sad he's dead, even if they are guiltily glad in some ways. Oh it WAS a mars trip for the rest of their lives! Dang! Oh no, not sex Ah nvm they are time stamped lmao: So your alibi is that you were spying for Granger.

He edited the clock but not the reflection? THE ROVER WAS IN THE HUB THO

THE COMPUTER KILLED HIM lmao, edited in the rover was holding it? The rover did it? Oh well ig the rover is controlled by mira, so yeah mira killed him lol

data ARE wrong, castle, "data" is a plural word.

I kind of get it but they can't control it manually? That seems dangerous. Things need to have big clunky levers & mechanical parts, not just digital. So the computer did do it OR SOMEONE TOLD IT WHAT TO DO & TOLD IT TO DO IT AT A CERTAIN TIME SO THEY'D HAVE AN ALIBI

they are letting people from the outside in, that's not smth they'll get on mars irl.

The way she talks makes it move its mouth lol. RC: Well, at least she’s not asking for a lawyer.

That "how do you know" was WAY too human the fourth rule of robotics is you gotta make its eyes go red when it turns evil. She needs captions on her face in addition to the audio imo. How do you know they are optimal w/o running diagnostics?

WHAT? WHAT IS COMPROMISING THE MISSION MIRA? Castle, she can hear you. But why isn't she denying him tho? Protect everyone on it? She is protecting someone from leaving. ANGELA DIDN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH TOM, SHE DIDN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH A FEMALE ASTRONAUT, SHE FELL IN LOVE WITH MIRA Mira: Pilot, specialist... deceased idk why I found that so funny

Everything she's learned will be wiped? then she won't have the-- oh nvm you claim her memory will still be intact. But what if she's glitching out one day? What if you need to turn her off & on again? In that case she SHOULD keep her learned stuff. Unless this is a full reboot... idk bro I'm not a tech geek.

Ok she would TOTALLY just lock down the keyboard if it is a touchscreen keyboard. You would need a real keyboard, smth nice & clunky.

Where r your hats? HOW long term? You should be fine for a few hours. It shouldn't be THAT deadly, esp if your astronauts are there. Maybe long-term exposure would harm them by like, causing issues down the line but not rn. Like asbestos or lead in your bones.

Yeah YOU shut off communications. Nausea & a rash, not coughing like that... & like, would it really be that short of a time to take effect? idk. If it is that fast to take effect & it is that deadly, then it really should not be classified as "it won't kill you" babes. Then again, the spy had to wear stuff like that, he was probably not up there for long. I was under the assumption that it would be painful & nauseating & annoying (even if you only come into contact with it once) but it wouldn't kill you, even if you're in the atmosphere for hours, for days even. Maybe you would get a rash in your lungs & die like that. I just think it's kind of unrealistic to say it's non-lethal & then switch to it's lethal. Give them a bit more time. Define long-term. Say maybe "it is harmful but not deadly, at least in the short term, but if we're exposed continually for more than maybe ten hours it could lead to severe damage, & if we're too nauseous to get up & get help we could be exposed for more than 24 hours, which could potentially cause (harm that leads to) death."

lmao I love how they were so caught up thinking they were on mars that they forgot they had cell phones XD XD XD Oh no she fainted. Oh wait nvm we don't get an intense rescue. We had ice (dirty bomb episode), we had fire (arson episode for rysposito), we had air (mars episode), we had water (linchpin/pandora cia episode), now we just need earth.

This is how! The other astronaut got taken out, that's why they have the three suits for castle beckett & Jansen, & then they still had another one for esposito!

The mission data too? that's expensive af

I love how castle has his mask on properly while beckett is the one who doesn't have it on at all & jansen it holding it to his face but taking it off to talk

One of them? Which one tho? Tom himself?

ALL OF THEM?

KB: [nods] Killing two birds with one stone. Tom, (who everybody hated), and Mikhail, who was selling secrets. She just said that XD Wow all the pilots kinda suck huh. This one everybody hated, the other one tried to run him over...

Didn't someone accuse haroum of smth before?

The two of them? Well yeah, that's how you get someone to break Or all three like I said before!

"You have no proof" is such a weird line. It's like saying "Yes I did it but you can't prove it" girl say "I am of the belief that you are mistaken; you have a lack of proof & therefore cannot sway my belief." or smth like that. "I didn't kill him, you don't even have proof to show me why you think that is the case." Interesting theory, but I believe it to be untrue, especially when you have no evidence to validate your theory. "I didn't kill them, where are you getting that idea? You don't have any evidence implying it is me so why are you saying that?"

Prisoner's dilemma. Captain, say "all three of us will turn around, write our statements, & hand them in at the same time." Or beckett is just saying that, lying the way cops do, to make them confess.

That's the moon probably, not mars... right? I see mars often, when I look up at the night sky. I have dates written in my agenda.

OH IT WAS A RUSE AHAHA. but lol cops & their lies. Castle really is becoming a cop. btw what sculpture did castle get from maya or whoever the girl in the s3 premier was?

KB: I think that when people are stuck together in a small space for a long period of time they lose perspective. Me: quarantine hhhhh also like when vacation space travel is a thing I'm going to be so excited. There are totally going to be seasonal jobs there where you can live on mars & be a hotel room cleaner for three months, then spend two days travelling back home after that bc space travel will be that fast.

NO--..

I'VE SEEN GIFS OF THIS OR SMTH

THIS IS WHEN MARTHA SAYS SHE IS MOVING OUT, ISN'T IT?

& ALEXIS DID MOVE OUT, AT LEAST TEMPORARILY,,,

frenetic, good word yes the odd hours lol sdjhfksjdfjdhgkjh marthaaaaaaa & I love her jewelry BABIES Martha martha martha I love her! so maybe the psychic was wrong, the beautiful woman who came to live in his loft & stay with him forever did NOT stay forever... then again, becks is there. Remember when martha half moved in with Chet? Yeah.

*quiet* Me: awkward *quiet* Me: OH WAIT SEXY TIME

indian restaurant? def loud lol

#castle 7x16 #castle 7x16 spoilers #castle 7x16 quote #the mars episode

0 notes

let-it-raines · 3 years

Text

I Hope We Never See October (8/12)

When his personal life and football career go up in flames, Killian Jones escapes England for America, finding seclusion in Martha’s Vineyard in order to hide from his demons. It’s a fresh start, or at the very least a paused moment in his life, and all he needs is a few months alone to allow his heart to heal. He doesn’t count on meeting Emma Swan.

Emma’s life depends on tourists who come to the island every summer. It’s how she makes her money working in restaurants and clubs across the vineyard, but every year, she cannot wait until autumn comes and her life returns to normal. She especially cannot wait for Killian Jones to leave.

Rating: Mature

a/n: Okay, so that cliffhanger, huh? I thought our mystery guests were obvious, but then again, I'm writing the story. But We'll answer all those questions here!

AO3: Beginning | Current Tumblr: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8

-/-

Killian’s side of the bed is cold when Emma’s alarm goes off. She expects him to still be there either sleeping or on his phone – he seems to do most of his work in the mornings when he doesn’t want to get out of bed – but he’s not there.

She hates herself a little bit for even noticing the cool feel of the sheets beneath her fingertips.

Emma groans and stretches her legs out, wondering how much time she has to go back to sleep before she absolutely has to go into work. She squints at her phone. She’s got two hours before she has to be at work. She could definitely sleep for another hour and a half and then look like shit at work. That might be nice, actually.

But then she smells something cooking downstairs, and almost on cue, her stomach growls.

Slowly, she gets out of bed, and the floor is cold against her bare feet. She should really go take a shower before she goes downstairs, and despite the good smell, she goes into the bathroom and quickly showers, leaving her hair dry. It’s curly and a bit frizzy from leaving it wet after her shower at the Nolans’ last night, but that’s a problem for another time…tomorrow. She’ll make it look better tomorrow. Emma grabs a pair of shorts and a button-down, putting them both on, and she pulls out a pair of sandals from her closet for later. She’s not as presentable as she should be, but maybe she can stay in her office and away from customers.

Besides, this is better than what it could have been had she not at least rinsed off the remaining sunscreen and sweat from her skin.

Emma smooths down her shirt and fluffs her hair. There’s the slightest bit of red on her chest from Killian’s beard, so she buttons up one more button before heading downstairs. From the smell of it, Killian is either cooking pancakes or waffles, and she’ll take either.

As far as her seasonal friends with benefits go, Killian is definitely the winner.

For the breakfast, the sex, and maybe the conversation. She thought about that for too long yesterday, and it’s too damn early for her to be thinking about any of this today. All she wants is food and coffee, so that’s all she’s thinking about. It’s all she can.

“Damn, Jones,” Emma shouts from the top of the stairs, “something smells delicious.”

She’s at the bottom of the stairs when she hears other voices. For one brief second, she thinks Killian is on the phone, but she’d know those voices anywhere. One haunts her nightmares, the other is the voice of her dreams, and neither was supposed to be here for three weeks.

Three fucking weeks.

Shit.

Holy shit.

What the hell has Neal done that he has to show up like this without even giving her any kind of heads up?

And how does she fix this? Killian was never supposed to know about Henry. He was the one question she’d never answer. He would have been her veto had it ever come up. When he got home from spending the summer with his dad in New York City, Emma was going to start phasing Killian out. They’d only ever spend time at his place, she’d never spend the night unless Henry was sleeping over at his friends. Usually, she doesn’t have this problem because the guy leaves way before this. He doesn’t have the chance to ever know about Henry, and Emma likes it that way.

The last guy that met Henry was Walsh, and that was only on accident. Or at least that’s what Walsh said, but Emma’s always thought Walsh showed up at the Blue Dog at that time on purpose because he knew Henry would be there with Emma. The guy never understood why Emma didn’t let him meet her son, but when you’ve never been able to trust a man besides David and possibly Graham with him, you have reservations.

His dad’s a full-blown asshole who has upended her life more than once, and she’s already so done with whatever bullshit excuse he’s got for bringing Henry home early.

Emma jumps in place, trying to breathe without really inhaling, and then she turns the corner into the kitchen.

The sight is as bad as she expected. The first person she sees is Killian, and if it were any other morning, this would be a good view to wake up to. His joggers hang low on his hips, he’s standing by the stove shirtless, and his hair is sticking in several directions from where her hands tugged on it last night. Then she sees Neal, who is standing in the corner with his arms crossed, frown on his face. He looks older since she saw him at the beginning of June. His beard is filled with more gray, his hair unruly in a purposeful way. He looks pissed, and Emma already knows this is about to be hell.

And then she sees Henry, and the tenseness fades from her shoulders when she sees his smile and the giant backpack he’s wearing. He’s got to empty that damn thing out.

God, she’s missed him so much.

“Mom!” he squeals, running toward her.

Emma opens her arms and embraces him, holding onto the back of his head and breathing him in. As much as Emma sometimes likes the freedom her summer affords her, she does miss her son. A lot. Him being gone is the entire reason she picks up shifts at The Oaks. She needs the distraction, not so much the money, until the summer is over and Henry comes back home for school.

“Hey, kid,” Emma laughs as she keeps hugging him. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too. Can I have the waffles?”

“What?”

He pulls back and grins. “The waffles Killian made. Can I have them?”

“Killian,” Emma slowly repeats. She looks over Henry’s head toward Killian who is furiously scratching behind his ear, and she realizes just how much he has a deer in the headlights look going on. As confused as she is right now, she knows he’s just had a few bombs dropped on him. “Uh, yeah, why don’t you and my friend Killian eat. I’m going to talk to your dad in the backyard for a minute. Neal.”

“What? I don’t get a hi?” Neal asks.

“Backyard. Now.”

He smiles, and once upon a time, she would have found that charming. Right now, she wants to slap it right off his face. Whatever he has to say, she knows it won’t be good. Emma closes the back door behind them and moves far enough across the deck to keep Henry from hearing.

“What the hell, Neal?”

The smile falls, and Emma crosses her arms over her chest. She has to put up a barrier with him. “Why are you so angry? Are you not excited to see Henry? He has been gone all summer, you know.”

“Of course I’m excited to see my kid. But I wasn’t supposed to see him three weeks from now. And with a head’s up. We have a schedule, Neal. Like, a court-mandated schedule that you made us get, and you’re not sticking to it.”

“That I made us get?” he scoffs. “What’s that supposed to mean? If I recall, you’re the one who kept my son from me for seven years and then didn’t want to give me custody.”

How is he such an ass? Seriously. How does he still not get it?

Emma steps closer and straightens her back. She doesn’t need to make herself taller, not for him, but she does anyway. “I got pregnant with Henry when I was sixteen. You were twenty-four. Do the math on how that’s wrong in about eighty-two different ways. And if I recall, and trust me I have a pretty good memory of this day, when I told you I had something important to tell you, you disappeared off the face of the planet. That doesn’t really seem like a guy who deserves to know about his kid.”

“Oh, come on, Ems. You can’t still be mad about that, can you?”

Is it still considered assault if Emma punches someone who deserves to be punched? There must be a law making that okay.

“Why are you here early, Neal?”

She doesn’t want to get into this with him. He’s never going to understand how much he fucked up Emma’s life. There’s no need for her to try to get him to understand now when all she wants is to know why he just showed up early.

“Who’s that guy in there?” he asks, evading her question.

“A friend.”

His mouth crinkles when he laughs, and she hates it. “A shirtless friend who fixes you breakfast? I hope you don’t make a habit of this when Henry’s home.”

“You don’t get a say on my dating life. Or my parenting skills. Now answer my question.”

He blows out air, and rolls his eyes, like she’s the one inconveniencing him. “Look, Tamara wants to go on vacation before summer ends, and she didn’t want to bring Henry with us. So I thought I’d bring him back to you and it wouldn’t be an issue. I’m sure you can keep him entertained until he goes back to school.”

“Oh my God. Oh my God, Neal, are you serious? You are breaking the rules of our custody agreement because you want to go on vacation with your girlfriend? How is it possible that you’re so selfish? I mean, God, seriously.”

Emma groans and buries her face in her hands before screaming. Or at least screaming as loud as she can without Henry knowing.

“Henry is a good fucking kid,” Emma continues, slowly breathing to calm herself down, “and he loves you. He doesn’t see all the shit I do because I’ve hidden that from him, but you can’t just do this, Neal. You can’t decide you’re done playing dad and give him back to me when you nearly made me go broke fighting to keep custody of the kid I’d raised since he was born. That’s not how being a parent works.”

“That’s rich coming from the woman who has used her time away from her kid to fuck British tourists and is upset her kid is back early because her vacation has to end.”

Emma looks up into the eyes of the man she once loved, the man who gave her son his eyes, and she says, “Go say goodbye to Henry and get the hell out of my house. I’ll see you next June, if you still decide to show up then.”

It’s a dismissal, and Neal never takes those. Not sitting down at least. She’s sure there will be arguments and petty jabs for the next few months. He’ll make her life hell while playing as the good guy. He has this act where he says things like “he’s a good person now, can’t she just move on from the past?”

There’s a difference between forgiveness and moving on that not a lot of people get. They say you have to forgive to move on, but that’s not true. You can move on without forgiveness because some people don’t deserve it. At all. Sometimes all you can do is stop letting them live in your head rent free, and you have to forgive yourself for ever falling for the lies.

Emma’s chosen that route. She’s forgiven herself, has moved on with her life even with Neal constantly trying to pull her back down, and she’s not about to stand here and let him criticize her personal life when he has no business in it.

Through the window, Emma watches Neal hug Henry goodbye. It takes less than a minute before he’s gone and Henry is back to eating his breakfast. Emma would laugh, she wants to at how ridiculous this all is, but she’s not finding anything about today funny. Because while Neal will go back to New York and will be happy, she’s stuck here cleaning up the mess he just made because she has to do everything in her power to make sure her kid never knows the version of his dad she knows.

A phone call would have been nice. At least then she could have gotten Killian out of the house. She still would have been pissed, but at the very least, she would have been able to make things a little better than they are now.

“Shit,” Emma breathes out, looking toward the sky. “Shit, shit, shit.”

Emma inhales and exhales several times before forcing a smile and walking inside where Henry is eating the breakfast that was meant for her and talking to Killian about soccer of all things.

Well, not of all things. Most of the time, Emma forgets that Killian plays professionally. Hell, they talked about it yesterday, and it still isn’t at the forefront of her mind. That part of his life has nothing to do with hers…except for right now when Killian is talking to her son about it.

He still doesn’t have on a damn shirt.

“Mom, did you know Killian used to play soccer? Like, as a job. That’s so cool! Do you think he could coach my team?”

“I did know that, kid.” Emma kisses his forehead, and he squirms away. It’ll take him a week or two to get used to her kind of affection versus Neal’s, so she’s not too offended. “How do you know that?”

“I recognize him.”

“Since when do you watch a lot of British soccer? Or football as Killian calls it.” She mimics Killian’s accent, but she also knows she did a terrible job with it.

Henry shrugs and stuffs a large bite of waffle in his mouth. “Dad doesn’t have anything to watch on TV but sports channels. All I did during the day was watch old soccer matches.”

“Wait. Where was your dad?”

Henry shrugs again. “I don’t know. At work I guess.”

Neal works from home most days of the week. What an ass. Emma bets he didn’t even get someone to watch Henry. He just used old sports reruns to keep him entertained.

“Hey, kid,” Emma says, finally looking to Killian, “can you stay in here and eat breakfast while I talk to Killian in the other room?”

“Sure.”

Emma flashes a tight smile and then nods her head toward the stairs. Killian gets the message and walks upstairs without being asked, immediately heading toward the bedroom. He stands by the window, arms crossed over his chest, and Emma watches his jaw tick, the smile he had on for Henry a moment ago, gone.

Softly, Emma closes the door behind her.

“I have my personal question of the day, Swan. You have a son?”

Okay, great, so this is how it’s going to be. Emma opens her dresser drawer and pulls out a shirt for Killian. He catches it after she tosses it and tugs it on. It doesn’t help as much as she’d like it to.

“Okay, look,” Emma begins, “you were never supposed to meet Henry. He wasn’t…his dad was supposed to have him for three more weeks.”

“The contract on my rental house has more time on it than that.”

Emma runs her hands through her hair and sighs. “I don’t know. I would have figured it out. Only go to your place, spend less time together. I mean, it’s only natural, right? Because you’re going to leave, and it would make sense for things to die down between us.”

Killian laughs, but Emma gets the sense he doesn’t find any of this funny. “Yeah, it makes perfect sense. This was only about sex, right?”

“Killian.”

“No, no.” He holds his hand up. “It’s fine, Swan. I get it. It’s my fault for thinking we might be mates on top of that.”

“I mean, we are – kind of, maybe. I don’t know.” Emma sighs and sits on the end of her bed. She doesn’t know what to do. Even more, she doesn’t know what to say. She definitely doesn’t know how to feel. “It was never supposed to be like this. I’m usually better at not blurring the lines. I don’t know what happened with us that made me drop my guard.”

“I knew you found me charming.”

Emma laughs and falls back on the mattress. “I have a kid, Killian, and he’s back. I can’t be like I was. We can’t just fuck whenever we want or stay out late or eat pizza at three in the morning. I’ve got to make sure Henry has a place to stay and Mary Margaret is across the country visiting her parents so that’s out for awhile. And I’m still working two jobs because I thought I had time to do that. I don’t, God, I don’t know what to do about anything in my life. Plus, you know, I want to spend time with Henry, and I don’t have a lot of free time.”

“I could watch him, love. He’s a bit older than what I’m used to with my nieces, but I’m sure I can find ways to entertain him.”

Emma sits up. Her heart is beating way too fast, and suddenly, the true reality of this situation hits her.

The man she’s been sleeping with has met her son.

And he’s offering to babysit.

What the actual hell?

She needs time to think. And scream. She definitely has to scream into her pillow for at least an hour because she literally cannot think of another thing to do. This is all too much, and she needs Killian to leave. He makes this all too complicated. She needs to go downstairs and eat breakfast with Henry. That she can do. That’s not complicated. That’s something she’s done every day for ten years, even if it’s usually Pop Tarts or a bowl of cereal, not homemade waffles and eggs.

“Can you, uh,” Emma starts, biting her lip, “can you go home? I need to spend time with Henry. He won’t show it, but I know he knows why his dad brought him home early. I’ve got some crap to deal with, but I’ll text you later.”

His eyes narrow, and Emma knows that look by now. He knows she’s lying, but she doesn’t expect him to call her out on her lie.

And he doesn’t because as quickly as his eyes narrow, they widen and a slight smile creeps onto his lips. “I’ll see you later, Swan. I’ll get my clothes out of the machine downstairs and go.”

“Thanks.”

Killian doesn’t move, and Emma has a hard time looking at him until she does. His eyes are so damn blue. It’s ridiculous.

But then he moves. Leaves, actually, just like she asked him to, and she hears every single step as he leaves the house and gets into his car. Emma breathes out a sigh of relief, maybe a little confusion, and then she grabs her phone of her bedside table.

Not a single warning text or call from Neal, just like she thought. Ass.

ES: SOS. My house. 10 minutes.

RL: Are you dead?

ES: Yes, I’m texting you from beyond.

RL: I am hungover. Give me 30.

Emma tosses her phone on her bed and heads downstairs. The life she was living is over. Henry’s home, and she is his mom. That’s what she has to do, and right now, that means putting her anger at Neal and confusion with Killian behind her to go eat breakfast with her kid.

She can only partially ignore that Killian was making this breakfast for her.

For them.

-/-

“King Harold,” Ruby says when she walks through the door in her pajamas and immediately sees Henry, “welcome back to your seaside palace. Come give me a hug.”

“Only if you never call me Harold again.”

“I can’t agree to that, Harold.”

Henry rolls his eyes, but he hugs Ruby anyway. “My name is Henry.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Ruby kisses the top of his head. “You smell like waffles.”

“Killian made waffles for breakfast.”

“Killian did?” she asks, looking over Henry’s head toward Emma. Emma shrugs and cocks her head.

“Kid, why don’t you go unpack? When you’re finished, we’ll go to the beach before I have work.”

“Really?”

“Mhm.” Emma hums and nods at the stairs. “I told them I’d be late today. Get your bags and go.”

Henry quickly grabs his suitcases. They’re nearly bigger than him, but he manages to drag them up the stairs. Emma waits until she hears his bedroom door close, and then she moves to the kitchen and collapses on a barstool. Ruby fixes herself a plate of leftover food and starts eating. “I have eight thousand questions.”

Without lifting her head from the counter, Emma tries to answer at least half those questions. “Killian slept over and was making breakfast when Neal and Henry walked in, so they both met him, which went over as well as you’d expect. Neal didn’t tell me he was bringing Henry back early, but apparently his girlfriend got tired of having him around and wanted to go on vacation. Neal thought ambushing me was the best way to go about the situation, and then he got pissed about me having a guy over.”

Emma peaks up to see Ruby blinking. Slowly. Did she not process anything or is she just so hungover that it’s taking her a long time to figure out what to say?

“Was Neal charming or something when you guys were together?’

Emma laughs. “I was sixteen, and he paid attention to me. He might as well have been Prince Charming.”

“He’s the worst.” Ruby scrunches up her nose. “And you’re not a Prince Charming type of girl. I get more of a rebel vibe from you.”

“Yeah, because mom and restaurant manager means rebel.”

Rub leans over and pokes Emma’s nose. “I don’t think you know how badass you are, Emma Swan. Give me a minute to get some coffee and make more food because I definitely need to dissect everything that’s going on with you. Baby daddy and new boyfriend not included.”

“Not my boyfriend.”

“Oh, right. Just sex friend because you totally invite sex friends to parties at Marg’s place. That seems normal.”

Emma narrows her eyes. “I invited you here to help with a crisis. Not create a new one.”

“I’m just saying,” Ruby sighs, “Mr. Jones is a hell of a lot better than most of the guys you shack up with. Your unfortunate sperm donor included. I’d think about that if I were you. I mean, we both know you’re about to ghost him, but at least think about it, Emma.”

Yeah, maybe she will.

-/-

@qualitycoffeethings @marrtinski @klynn-stormz @scarletslippers @elizabeethan @jrob64 @therealstartraveller776 @thejollyroger-writer @galadriel26 @galaxyzxstark @idristardis @karenfrommisthaven @teamhook @searchingwardrobes @jamif @shireness-says @ultimiflos @onepunintendid @killianswannn @carpedzem @captainkillianswanjones @mayquita @mariakov81 @jennjenn615 @onceuponaprincessworld @a-faekindagirl @scientificapricot @xellewoods @ultraluckycatnd @stahlop @kmomof4 @tiganasummertree @singersdd @tornadoamy @cluttermind @andiirivera @itsfabianadocarmo @captain-emmajones @ilovemesomekillianjones @taylrsversion @dramioneswan @jonesfandomfanatic @wefoundloveunderthelight @gloriousfemaleworrier @spartanguard @snowbellewells

#I Hope We Never See October #cs fic #cs ff #cs fanfic #captain swan fic #captain swan ff #captain swan

92 notes · View notes

iamcalmdammit · 3 years

Text

It’s Leo’s fault - part 2 || [Gavin Reed x reader]

(part one)

The next day you were back in the studio at the Stratford Tower to record the next episode of your weekly show. Due to the events of the past few days, you really needed the company of people who weren’t involved, people who didn’t keep asking if you were okay. You loved Gavin, you really did, but when he was concerned about you, he went to great lengths to make you feel better. He was suffocating you and it soon became too much to bear.

On the way back from lunch with your co-workers, you spotted a familiar person sitting on a bench across the street. Could it be Markus? No, he had been destroyed, it couldn’t be. But you couldn’t just walk away, otherwise this question would have bugged you the whole day. “Look, I’ll meet you inside, I think I’ve just spotted one of Dad’s friends so I’m gonna say hi,” you told them quickly and left without waiting for their response.

“I hoped I could meet you here today,” Markus said with a smile when you got close enough to hear him.

“They told me you were destroyed and taken to Solid Waste Landfill.” Before you even finished your sentence, you already wrapped your arms around his body and pulled him into a hug. “I’m so glad you’re okay. But how?”

As soon as Markus could take a step away from you, he let out a thoughtful hum, wondering where to begin. “I used the working components of other disposed androids. It was a shocking experience, seeing all those broken and deactivated androids there, but it opened my eyes.”

“Meaning?”

“It’s hard to explain, but ever since I could choose to push your brother back, I feel like I’m finally free. Free to make my own decisions, to do whatever I want to do without being limited by my programming,” he explained, deliberately leaving out the part about the other deviants.

You smiled at him. “That must be nice.”

“It is. How’s Carl?”

“He was released from the hospital yesterday so now he’s recovering back home. But… He thinks you were destroyed and I think that’s bothering him a lot more right now. He misses you. We got him an android to help out, but it’s not the same. You know that, right?”

“I think I do.” Now that he had the chance to think more about the rights of androids and how humans treated them, there was one more thing he wanted to ask you. “How is he treating the new android?”

You let out a heartfelt laugh at this. Markus probably knew perfectly well what was happening in your father’s house right now so you didn’t understand why he asked you that. But it didn’t matter and you answered nonetheless. “The same way he treats everyone when he doesn’t feel well. You should’ve seen him with the doctors. I bet they were happy to get rid of him so fast,” you told him with a wide grin.

Even though he smiled at you, Markus remained silent. He had something on his mind and you wished you knew what it was. Something changed in him, and it was clearly more than his newfound freedom. “I waited for you to ask something,” he suddenly spoke up. “Do you have to come here tomorrow?”

“No, I don’t think so. Why?”

“It doesn’t matter, just… Can you stay away from this place tomorrow?” You waited for a few seconds, expecting him to say some more about this, but you eventually nodded. Markus knew you deserved an explanation after all those years, but he couldn’t give it to you, not now. “I’ll explain everything later, I promise.”

“What are you planning to do?”

Should he tell you the truth? Well, you could be trusted and deserved to know why you had to stay away from this place. “This has to stay between us, okay? I know you’re good at keeping secrets, this is why I’m telling you. We–me and other deviants–want to send a message. I don’t want violence, but we need to do something so people would finally listen to us.”

“I can help with that,” you immediately offered.

“I know, but I don’t want you to be involved.”

Saying it didn’t hurt your feelings would have been a lie, but you knew he meant well. Also, he was working with other androids, they had to do this on their own if they needed people to pay attention to them. Stealing the spotlight would help no one. “All right, but if you need me, you know where to find me.”

“Thank you.”

Your phone beeped, notifying you about an upcoming meeting you were late from. “I have to go now, but I’m so glad you’re okay and we could meet. I hope everything goes smoothly tomorrow. Good luck with whatever you’re planning to do.”

This time it was Markus who hugged you. “Thank you for everything. Can you tell Carl we met? And… that I wish I could thank him in person that he always looked out for me?”

“Sure. But visit him if you can, he would appreciate it.”

“I know.”

“Bye, Markus,” you told him with a smile before walking away.

You didn’t really pay attention during the meeting. All you could think about was Markus’s mysterious plan that involved the Stratford Tower and other deviant androids. Whatever they were planning to do was important to them, more than you could ever imagine. But what could that be?

Even as you were waiting for Gavin in front of an old movie theater, you couldn’t let go of these thoughts of yours. A part of you was worried he got into trouble, or that he was about to get into trouble. He didn’t deserve what had happened to him that night and you were worried his emotions would cloud his judgement.

“I know, I know, I’m late. I’m sorry,” Gavin told you automatically as he walked up to you. Since he was often late, he got used to apologizing every time, even when he happened to arrive on time. But tonight wasn’t one of those rare days.

“Interrogation?”

“Not really, I had to talk to a witness. But enough about work, is everything okay with you?” he asked worriedly. “It looked like you were thinking about something serious when I got here.”

You promised Markus not to talk about the plan, and knowing Gavin, meeting the android was a topic you should avoid altogether. “It’s nothing, just a story came up and I’m not sure if I should cover that,” you lied. “But you’re right, enough about work. Why did you want to meet me here? You wanna see a movie?”

“You don’t remember?”

“Remember what?”

“We came here on our first date,” he said with a boyish smile.

As you took a good look at the building, you suddenly remembered. “You’re right, we really did.” Gavin was the last person in the world you expected to remembered a little detail like this. “I didn’t know you kept track of that.”

“Well, I did. Let’s go, the movie’s about to begin.”

He took your hand and pulled you towards the entrance. The moment you felt his fingers wrap around yours, all your thoughts and worries disappeared. It felt nice to be doing something normal, something relaxing after the past few days. While you had your head resting against his shoulder, he suddenly put the box of popcorn on the empty seat next to him and took your hand.

“I’ve been thinking, you know,” he said quietly.

“About what?”

“The two of us.”

As you raised your head and looked at him, you wondered why he sounded strange. Maybe even nervous. “I thought you wanted to watch the movie,” you pointed out.

“I’m serious,” he whispered back. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“Why would you lose me?”

“I don’t know, I have a bad feeling. But I need you to know that I love you, and I want to be with you for the rest of my life.”

This was weird. Sure, that night at the hospital hadn’t been the best in your relationship, but you knew perfectly well he cared a lot about you. You hoped you didn’t do anything that would make him feel like you wanted to break up with him. “Why are you telling me this now?” you asked cautiously.

“Bec-”

“Shhh,” the guy in the row behind you interrupted him.

Letting out an irritated groan and shooting a meaningful look at the man, Gavin leaned closer to say, “Because I want to know if you would marry me.”

At first you thought he was joking, but then he pulled out a small jewelry box from the inside pocket of his leather jacket. “What? Seriously?” you asked once you pulled yourself together enough to speak.

“I wouldn’t joke with something like this. So what do you say?”

“Yes!” you told him with a wide smile.

“SHHH!”

Shaking your head, you watched as Gavin put the ring on your finger then you turned around and showed it to the guy. “Dude, I just got engaged!”

“I don’t care,” he said with a roll of his eyes.

“Oh my god, congratulations!” The woman next to the man leaned forward, excitedly clapping her hands.

“Martha, I want to watch the movie!”

She poked him in the side with her elbow and leaned closer to him. “Don’t be like that, it’s so romantic!”

Gavin cleared his throat and took your hand once again. “I think we should leave so we don’t bother others,” he said quietly.

“Finally,” the man behind you said with a tired sigh.

#gavin reed #gavin reed x reader #markus #markus rk200 #detroit become human #detroit: become human #gavin reed imagine #markus imagine #markus rk200 imagine #dbh markus #dbh gavin reed

101 notes · View notes

writingwithacupoftea · 4 years

Text

Comfort Blanket

Summary: It is up to Tommy and Y/N Shelby to keep the family together after their Mother’s death. They discover along the way that sometimes a comfort blanket is an object and other times it’s a feeling...

Word Count: 1891

Prompt: “There’s no place for us to sleep at night.” (part of @smallheathgangsters 1k followers party 💜)

A/N: This ended up being way more festive than I anticipated but, hey ho, it’s less than 3 month til Christmas now! I’ve also definitely taken some liberties with the whole pre-series story and ages and stuff but oh well. I’ve wanted to write a piece based on the blanket in this gif for a while now, so this prompt just worked perfectly for it!

Congratulations again, Leah, on the 1k milestone - it’s so well deserved, and here's to 1k more 🥳 I hope you and everyone else enjoys my little contribution to the celebration ❤️

(gif by @nofckingfighting)

The Shelby clan had never known darker times than the months following their mother's death.

Their father was more absent than ever before. Arthur Shelby Junior was still hopelessly trailing around after him. John had fled to Martha's house, seeking comfort in her arms. Ada was distraught, and everyone had given up trying to guess what her next move would be, for entering her teenage years had made her even more unpredictable than ever anyway. Between looking after Finn and working as much as her brother would allow, Polly was permanently exhausted.

Tommy felt like he was drowning alongside his mother, burdened with the responsibility of trying to look after his family as best he could whilst grieving.

That left Y/N. Born just a year after Tommy, she was the one he turned to when he needed a break. Whether it was to cry and mourn the loss of his beloved mother, or taking charge when all Tommy wanted to do was sleep after a long day's work, Y/N was always there. She picked up the pieces for all of her siblings, and was the oil that kept the cogs of the machine turning.

One night, Tommy and Y/N found themselves alone in the parlour, relishing in the moments of quiet that had fallen after the rest of the family had gone to bed. It was at these times that the pair confided in each other, whether it was their own news or that of their siblings.

Tonight, so far, they had sat in silence. But Y/N knew that Tommy would tell her something soon, and also knew that Tommy would be able to sense that she had something to tell him. It was all a matter of who would speak first.

"I don't know what to do, Y/N/N." Tommy had taken the leap this time.

"Don't know what to do about what?" Her brother's confession had surprised Y/N: Tommy always had a plan for everything.

"I'm doing everything I can to provide for us all and it's still not enough, even though I've taken every fucking job I can find. The lock on the door is still broken from when Dad came home drunk the other night, and the window next to Finn's nursery hasn't been mended yet from when John accidentally smashed it with his ball. Polly's had to take all of the spare blankets for him so that he doesn't get sick. We can't afford to buy any more. There's no place for us to sleep at night. Not somewhere that's safe and warm, anyway."

Y/N sighed. "First of all, Tom, and this is important, so you'd better fucking pay attention to me." Y/N was pleased to see that he let out a slight laugh at that. "You're doing an amazing job at all of this. We're all so grateful for everything you're doing, even if I'm the only one that will actually say it out loud. We couldn't ask any more of you, Tommy.

"Secondly, I may be able to help you – now, don't get mad!" Y/N added this last part hurriedly, having seen Tommy's eyebrows quickly shoot up. Taking a deep breath, Y/N broke the news. "Harry has given me a job...as a barmaid in the Garrison."

"What?!" Tommy jumped out of his seat, looking down at Y/N in disbelief. "Are you out of your mind? If you think I'm going to let you work there with all those drunk idiots every night, then you'd better think again."

"If you think you can tell me what I can and can't do, then you'd fucking better think again, Thomas," Y/N retorted, as her brother began to pace up and down the room. "In case you hadn't noticed, I'm an adult now and can make my own decisions. Anyway, I've worked everything out and I have a plan to put to you."

Tommy sat down again, not taking his eyes off his younger sister.

"You're working yourself into the ground, Tommy, and quite frankly we can't afford for you to be ill, so you need to get some more rest." The man in question opened his mouth to protest, but was cut off immediately by Y/N. "I want you to give up a couple of your jobs – some of them only pay a pittance, whilst my wage alone would cover that and a little more. I want you to put more time and energy into building up our Dad's business. I've got this feeling that it could become so much more, and you're the one that will make it happen, Tommy, I just know it!"

The second eldest Shelby brother sighed, his head falling heavily into his hands. He had to admit, Y/N's plan sounded incredibly tempting. But still, doubts invaded his thoughts, namely his concerns over his sister working in the Garrison of all places and the question of what if it all failed? What if they ended up in a worse position than they were in now?

With two words from Y/N, however, he was convinced: "Trust me."

"Fine. We'll give it a go on one condition – if any of those fuckers at the pub ever, and I mean ever, give you any bother whatsoever, you tell me straight away. Alright?"

Y/N smiled softly at her brother, pleased with the outcome of their conversation. "Alright," she whispered in agreement, reaching over to grab his hand.

"Thank you, Y/N." Tommy's voice broke through the silence, his sincerity as clear as day.

"We're going to be alright, Tom. One day, we won't have to worry about everyone being safe and warm in their beds. It might take some time, but we'll get there eventually."

Tommy nodded, almost imperceptibly, before slowly getting up to make his way to his own bed, only stopping to place a gentle kiss to his sister's forehead.

All they could do now was pray that Y/N would be right once again.

***

About a year later, their prayers were beginning to be answered.

Business at the betting shop was flourishing, and the Shelby's were gaining more respect by the day. It was all illegal, of course, but all that mattered to Tommy and Y/N was that enough money was rolling in to look after the family.

As Christmas drew nearer, their house was beginning to feel more like a home again for the first time since their mother passed. Fires roared in the hearth at night, they had finally been able to make the repairs that the house so desperately needed, and the family seemed to be happy.

The future looked brighter for the Shelby clan, and it was a sight that Y/N was overjoyed to have before her. Her plan had worked, the dark circles beneath Tommy's eyes were melting away and her Christmas present for him was finally ready.

Despite Tommy's arguments that she didn't need to stay on at the Garrison anymore, Y/N had decided to keep her job there. Surprisingly, she'd discovered that she was rather good at bar work and had been immensely satisfied when her brothers had entered the pub on one of their 'check-ups' on her to witness her chucking a couple of drunks out onto the street by the scruffs of their neck. Y/N liked earning her own money, rather than relying on Tommy, and it meant that no questions were asked about how she was spending it.

Most of her wages had gone towards Tommy's present, and Y/N could only hope that he liked it. The closer and closer that it got to the big day, the more Y/N began to doubt it. But she'd put too much work into it to turn back now.

She had decided against leaving it under the tree, not wanting anyone to be ridiculed for it, and instead kept it a secret in her room. So, on the night of the 25th, Y/N padded down the stairs to meet Tommy alone in the parlour.

"I thought you'd be in bed by now." Tommy was smiling up at her from his seat on the sofa.

"You know I'm always too excited at Christmas to get much sleep." Her brother rolled his eyes fondly at Y/N's reminder. "Anyway, I have one more present to give out."

Tommy's brows furrowed in confusion. "But we all opened your presents earlier, Y/N/N?"

"Yes, yes, I know – you don't need to make this any more embarrassing for me than it already is!."

The man in question chuckled, holding his hands up in surrender.

Y/N sat down next to her brother, and handed him the carefully wrapped package. "Happy Christmas, Tommy," she said, gently. As he began to open it, Y/N's nervous rambling automatically began. "Now, if you don't like it, just tell me. I won't be offended! I can find something else to do with it. It's not really your colours, now I think about it, and - "

"Y/N do you want me to open this or not?" Tommy snapped, but his eyes were full of fondness for his younger sister.

"Yes," Y/N replied, meekly.

Tommy pulled away the last of the wrapping to find a thick patchwork blanket, which was clearly handmade. Speechless at the thought and care put into the gift, he asked the only question that was running through his head: "Why?"

"I wanted to give you something special to say thank you for everything you've done for us since Mum died. Also, I'm not stupid, you know." At Tommy's confused expression, Y/N elaborated. "Nearly every morning before we got the house fixed up, I used to wake up with double the amount of blankets on top of me compared to how many I went to bed with. Your blankets, Tommy, when we barely had enough to share between us all in the first place. So I wanted to make you one myself that is yours and yours alone.

"You said to me once that we had nowhere to sleep at night that was safe and warm, but you created that place for us, for me. I know we've got plenty of blankets in the house now, but I just wanted to try and give you that same feeling of comfort that you gave to me." She stopped talking at that, suddenly aware of how long she had been going on for.

Tommy held the warm fabric in his hands, his thumb tracing the messy stitching which held each patch together, trying to blink away the tears glazing his eyes. "I love it, sweetheart. Thank you."

A relieved smile lit Y/N's face, but it was quickly replaced by a loud yawn. She gently rested her head on Tommy's shoulder as she curled her legs up on the sofa, and he wrapped his arm around her.

"Happy Christmas, Tom," Y/N mumbled sleepily.

"Happy Christmas, Y/N/N," Tommy replied with a smile.

Moments later, Y/N's breathing had evened out and she had fallen into a deep slumber. Tommy's eyes flitted between her sleeping form and the beautiful blanket on his knee.

Maybe he could share his blanket with his sister just one more time...

#smallheathgangsters1kcelebration #peaky blinders #tommy shelby #shelby sister #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders sister #peaky blinders x sister!reader #tommy shelby x sister reader #tommy shelby x sister!reader #tommy shelby x reader #shelby!reader #shelby sis #shelby!sister

461 notes · View notes

riversofmars · 3 years

Text

The final chapter! It's been a wild ride! As sad as I am that this story is coming to a close, it also always feels like a great relief when a long, complicated adventure gets wrapped up before spinning out of control lol. I hope the ending will be as satisfying for you as it was for me to write it.

Chapter 15: When the Ends Justify the Means

Gallifrey, during the Time War

The Dreadshade’s explosion was disorienting and gave the Twelve the opportunity to flee the Panopticon. Gravely injured, she staggered down the corridor without a destination in mind, her only goal was to put as much distance as possible between the Doctor and herself. She wanted to die in her own time. She had miscalculated and she was about to pay the price, her body was already fizzing with regenerative energy. She had one more regeneration left - twelve to thirteen - but was it worth it? All her personalities seemed to have an opinion. All things considered, the Twelve had been good at keeping them in check but as her physical strength was waning, so was her mental resolve.

“You have been a disappointment,“ the Eleven was of course the first to comment on their demise.

“You didn’t last two minutes,“ the Four added, equally as condescendingly.

“What an embarrassing miscalculation with the Dreadshade,“ the Seven huffed, as if that could never have happened to him.

“Never could keep your mouth shut, could you,“ the One scolded.

“Shut up, all of you,“ the Twelve snapped, wincing in pain as every cell in her body started to burn up. “Maybe this is it, maybe we should just put ourselves out of our misery…“ It was certainly worth considering. She was tired of the eternal struggle and she didn’t want to become just another voice, trapped in the back of the mind of a mad man.

“One last try,“ the Nine insisted and the Six added:

“Make them all pay.“

“But how?“ The Twelve stumbled. She collapsed against a pillar. She had made it to the Matrix chamber. Surely, no-one would assume she was there. She felt the ancient power of the Matrix reach out to her. Maybe she wouldn’t regenerate after all. Maybe she would just enter the Matrix and that was that. She could feel its power engulfing her and images started flashing before her eyes. Exciting, thrilling images at that: The Citadel in ruins, Gallifrey on fire. The Twelve laughed at how beautiful a sight it was and how much she longed to see it being accomplished. They had always treated her as the outsider, the black sheep, the one that had gone wrong. They deserved to pay.

“Look at my work, Doctor, and despair!“ There was a man with dark hair and beard, and with him a blonde woman whom he had addressed and who appeared devastated at the sight in front of her.

“All this death… finally makes you happy?“ She turned to the man and the Twelve felt like she was looking right at her. She recognised the Doctor, even with a new face and a very different one at that. She looked so much older than the Doctor she had last encountered.

“Ecstatic,“ the man answered with a wide grin.

“And has it calmed all the rage?“ The Doctor demanded, leaning in closer, baring her teeth like a wild animal, intent on intimidating him and ready to leash out.

“I don’t think anything could ever do that,“ the man answered almost thoughtfully and the Twelve felt the sentiment in her very bones. She had tried to be better, in some small way. Not like the Eight but… better. And where had it got her? The rage was burning more fiercely than ever before and she smiled, a little at first and then, her face contorted into a wide grin as her skin started glowing. She had seen the future, she knew what she would be working towards. She would make them all pay.

“That’s right, that’s it. Burn Gallifrey to the ground. Make them pay,“ the Three was utterly delighted at the prospect, and even the Five had to admit:

“I’m partial to a beard, that is a future I’m keen to experience.“

“Fine, one last time. Just to make them pay,“ the Twelve giggled and regenerative energy burst out of her skin, shaping her body in accordance with the image she had seen.

——

Unknown Location

The Doctor spun her sonic in her hand as she regarded the Thirteen.

“It took me far too long to catch on, that’s on me. I did think it odd when you hardly spoke to Kate and Martha at all, considering that we do know each other pretty well. But the complete lack of your other personalities surfacing did have me fooled, you’re really not that great at controlling them. But when I realised who you are working with, you were bound to have taken a neural inhibitor from Gallifrey just in case,“ the Doctor explained with a triumphant smirk. “Neat trick, that you put a bandage around your arm like the Master had, that was clever.“ It had been a believable ruse.

“Your epiphany comes far too late as always, Doctor. The trap is sprung, you’re here, where we want you,“ the Thirteen snarled, slowly regaining control of his personalities again upon their chaotic release.

“What do you need me for anyway? You were right there on the TARDIS with me the entire time, why not kill me when I had my back turned? Why bring me here?“ The Doctor fixed her eyes on him.

“We have been carrying out very important work here,“ Padrac announced. “We will bring back the Time Lords and since your son’s DNA clearly doesn’t cut it, we are having to go back to the source once more.“ Padrac had hoped they would be successful with the Doctor’s child but clearly the genetic inheritance of River Song muddled the results somewhat.

“The Time Lords are gone. For good this time. You can’t just bring them back,“ the Doctor’s eyes shot to him.

“You watch me,“ Padrac smirked. “And your precious humans, no less. I did give it some thought, you know, and I figured: what a poetic justice. You’re the reason our people are dead, so I’m going to take your favourite race from you in turn.“ The Doctor recognised an age-old bitterness in him and she wondered if maybe part of him had been aware of the passage of time while in stasis, plotting his revenge and his anger festering over millennia.

“Giving them immortality hardly seems like taking them from me,“ she shot back.

“Not all of them of course. Just the ones that prove themselves worthy,“ Padrac carried on to explain.

“You mean, anyone that will follow you,“ the Doctor concluded, and the blond Time Lord nodded:

“People like Daniel Barton were more than eager to join the course.“

“I bet,“ she huffed. People like Daniel Barton would never miss out on an opportunity such as that. She returned her attention to the Thirteen: “And you? Out for your own skin? Twelve regenerations aren’t enough for you, are they, so close to the end?“

“You owe me a few, yes,“ the Thirteen chuckled.

“And for your last one, the Master’s face… how did that happen?“ The Doctor asked as it seemed like an incredible coincidence, even if they were working together.

“Oh this?“ The Thirteen pointed to his face and snarled: “Thought it was me, when the Matrix showed me the destruction of Gallifrey. Silly mistake. I so hoped it would be me to do that… small disappointments. Suffice to say I’m looking forward to getting a new face once we’re done here.“

“And the Master? Pulling the strings? What’s in it for him?“ It remained the one mystery she still couldn’t figure out. The Master had destroyed the Time Lords, why would he want to help Padrac bring them back? The Master had killed the Eleven, why now align himself with the Thirteen? It made no sense. “Where is he?“

——

“Stay where you are,“ River insisted, keeping her gun on the Master.

“River!“ Jack exclaimed, delighted to see her and worried she might make a foolish decision. “No need for that,“ he assured her, trying to make her lower the gun.

“Jack, what are you doing with him?“ River frowned.

“We’re escaping, he released me, and we’re just getting Ryan and Graham,“ Jack tried to explain but everybody else found that incredibly hard to believe.

“He released you?“ Graham asked, incredulous.

“Yes, that’s what I was just about to tell you,“ Jack nodded, looking into disbelieving faces.

“There is really no need, Professor Song,“ the Master spoke up at last, focusing his eyes on River who stared back at him with unveiled distaste.

“You bet there isn’t. You don’t know who you’re dealing with,“ River spat, good and ready to pull the trigger.

“Professor, contrary to what you might believe, I am here to help, and I’m glad to see you received my message, even if it needed redirecting a few times. Couldn’t risk being traced,“ the Master was patient to explain.

“That message was you?“ Yaz looked to River who appeared just as stunned. The only reason they had been able to find their way here had been a message, relayed through the Archangel network, with spacetime coordinates and passage codes. The person that had sent it had even been kind enough to lower the protective force fields around this place. They had presumed it was Jack’s accomplishment.

“I think you’re thinking of the wrong person.“ The Master frowned, realising the mistake.

“The wrong person?“ River echoed and he nodded:

“I’m not the Thirteen. I am the Master.“

“The Master? No, impossible, I have met the Thirteen and the Master and you are most definitely…“ River started, and he interrupted her firmly, they didn’t have time for this.

“We have the same face,“ he explained upon realising the last face of his that River Song had seen, had been Missy. The confusion could be forgiven.

“Who’s the Thirteen?“ Ryan, Graham and Jack exchanged confused glances. “That’s most definitely the Master.“

“How is that possible?“ River asked and the Master took a step closer to her, her gun pressing into his torso.

“I will tell you but first, you put the gun down, there is somewhere we need to be“, the Master insisted. “I will explain on the way.“

“He has been helping us so far,“ Jack said, hoping to assure everyone around.

“Why would I trust you? You are just as bad as the Thirteen…“ River started, slowly wrapping her head around the fact that two of her spouses' enemies were involved in this convoluted plot.

“I’ve had children… so has the Doctor, before now, I mean…“ The Master answered, and it was an explanation enough. “And when you’ve lost a child… you don’t let that happen to anyone else, your friend or your enemy.“

“Where are we going?“ River lowered her gun.

“To save your son,“ the Master explained. “And your wife, though I am less keen on that part.“

——

“The Master?“ Padrac echoed and nearly started laughing. “What has he got to do with anything?“

“He’s in on this, isn’t he?“ The Doctor frowned, confused by his reaction.

“The Master? You seem to forget he killed my eleventh self!“ The Thirteen laughed. “He’s better off running, if I get my hands on him, I will kill him.“

“Then how did he willingly swap places with you?“ The Doctor looked in between the other two Time Lords.

“Coward. He stole my TARDIS on Demon’s Run, without him there would have been no need for me to stoop so low and impersonate him,“ the Thirteen snarled.

“Hang on, you mean you’ve come straight from Demon’s Run without your TARDIS and you haven’t been back here?“ It was Padrac’s turn to look confused now.

“When would I have had the opportunity to do that?“ The Thirteen looked at Padrac bewildered.

That’s when it dawned on Padrac that there was an unbidden guest in their midst. He slammed the communicator on his wrist.

“Lock down the base, check on the prisoners,“ he ordered but there was no response. “Hello?“

“Something the matter?“ The Doctor grinned when the penny dropped for her too. She was not the only one that had fallen for the old switcheroo.

“The com-lines are down. What have you done?“ Padrac yelled at the Doctor.

“Me? Nothing, but I think I may have underestimated my oldest friend,“ she grinned in return.

“Ma’am?“ Strax took the opportunity to tug at the Doctor’s sleeve.

“Yes, Strax?“ She asked.

“Do you think now would be a good time to…“ He nodded towards the guards.

“Now would be a perfect time to,“ the Doctor nodded in confirmation, and Strax didn’t need to be told twice. Neither did any of the others, they threw themselves at the guards, and a wild fistfight broke out.

“Imbeciles, subdue them!“ Padrac shouted but with Jenny and Vastra in possession of swords, momentum quickly shifted.

That was when Padrac panicked, drawing upon his last resort. It was a mad gamble but he dashed to the wall controls and lowered the temporal grace field. With a blinding flash, the grenade that Strax had engaged before went off. Padrac was most disappointed when he realised it had only been a flash grenade with the purpose of disorienting the enemy. The Doctor’s friends weren’t mad enough to gamble their lives after all. It was enough to disorient them as advertised, and the Thirteen grasped his opportunity. He surged forward and wrapped his arm around the Doctor’s neck, pressing a knife to her throat.

“Doctor!“ Vastra exclaimed when she got her bearings back and realised what was going on.

“You’re coming with me!“ The Thirteen snarled.

“Calm down everyone, it’ll be fine!“ The Doctor shouted to her friends.

“Surrender or the Doctor dies!“ Padrac shouted.

“Nah, that’s your problem, we’re out of here,“ the Thirteen pulled the Doctor along, and Padrac realised he had backed the wrong horse.

“Just you and me then?“ The Doctor huffed at the Thirteen, shooting her friends reassuring glances. “Why not! Lead the way.“ She allowed herself to be dragged away down the corridor.

“Do something!“ Padrac was shouting panicked commands at his few remaining soldiers but to no avail, he was cut off moments after by the arrival of more unbidden guests.

“Show’s over, Padrac,“ the Master snarled but it was River that struck him down with a right hook that sent him flying. And just like that, the fighting was over.

“Professor Song!“ Vastra exclaimed in delight as Strax set about putting handcuffs on the unconscious Time Lord. That had been quite the right hook.

“Yaz!“ Jenny called in relief and Gwen was quick to rush to their friends as well:

“Jack! Ryan! Graham! You’re ok!“ There was a moment of elation in victory.

“Vastra! Jenny! Strax!“ River was overwhelmed. “Kate, Gwen, Martha, Mickey… wow, that’s quite the…“ She looked around the room, noticing one very important person amiss: “Where is the Doctor?“

“The Thirteen took her…“ Kate answered quickly and picked up her gun. Now that the temporal grace field was gone, they were of use again.

“This way Professor.“ The Master wasted no time to drag River along.

——

“What do you think you’re doing?“ The Doctor asked as the Thirteen forced her onto a stretcher, strapping her to it. They found themselves in what the Doctor could only presume to be the main laboratory at the heart of the base.

“Shut up. I can do this,“ the Thirteen hissed as he turned to the instruments but seemed at an utter loss.

“No you can’t, you haven’t been here, you don’t know anything about the research, you were in the TARDIS with me,“ the Doctor reasoned.

“Shut up!“ The Thirteen snapped again. “I need to focus.“ His voice was tense, his posture jittery, and his eyes darted in between the instruments indecisively. The Doctor saw her opportunity. The Thirteen was slowly panicking.

“You’re going off the rails, it’s all going wrong, isn’t it, you can’t focus,“ she said, poking the bear.

“Shut up!“ The Thirteen roared, with the Six taking over.

“Can’t do it, can you? What are you even doing?“ The Doctor sensed she was on the right path so she pushed on as the Thirteen picked up a syringe. “Not that one.“

“I don’t need you to be conscious,“ the other Time Lord spat with the Seven emerging, his movements more purposeful.

“Yeah you do, cause you need my help,“ the Doctor insisted and the response was quick and violent:

“I don’t need your help!“

“If you don’t, then why haven’t you done it already?“ The Doctor put on her best condescending smirk.

“Doctor!“ A voice called from the door and the Doctor allowed herself a sigh of relief. She had no words for how happy she felt for hearing her wife’s voice again and to see her rush towards her, followed by ample reinforcements.

“Hello all,“ she smiled though she only had eyes for River. For a moment she even forgot about the Thirteen and her own precarious situation. Her hearts burst with joy of seeing her wife alive after having presumed her dead for so long.

“Step away from her.“ It was the Master’s snarl that drew her back to reality. The Master of all people advanced towards the Thirteen who was his spitting image.

“I don’t think so, no no no, I've got to finish this.“ The Thirteen shook his head and quickly retrieved his knife to press it to the Doctor’s throat again.

“Get away!“ The Master repeated, his voice low and threatening.

“No, you get away!“ The Thirteen exclaimed, his eyes darting around the room, and he slammed a button on the workstation.

Suddenly, out of a hidden dimension, a cot appeared.

“Phased a few seconds out of time, clever.“ The Doctor balled her hands to fists as she laid eyes on her son for the first time. River gasped in surprise and the Master squared his jaw, watching as the Thirteen picked up the child as a means of defence. River was about to go for him but the Master held her back.

“Out of here, all of you!“ The Thirteen barked. “Don’t make me do something you’ll regret!“ The Doctor exchanged a glance with the Master and forced her mind into sharp focus. She couldn’t allow emotions to cloud her judgement, not now, not when River was barely holding it together. The Doctor looked to her wife, the expression of pain and longing on her face broke her hearts, as she struggled against the Master’s firm grip.

“Someone help me out of this!“ The Doctor called and Vastra was quick to oblige as the Thirteen watched with mad determination.

“Don’t try anything!“ He threatened and the baby in his arms started crying.

“I’m going to kill you,“ River growled trying to reach for her gun but the Master continued to restrain her. He glanced to the Doctor who took a deep breath, deciding on the best course of action. She knew how to deal with a mad man, she had plenty of practice.

“See, here’s the thing, whatever you’ve been doing here, I can’t let it continue, all of this, it needs to go,“ the Doctor said, facing the Thirteen. She focused on his face, rather than the crying infant in his arms. She couldn’t get distracted. “So what we’re going to do is blow this whole place up.“

“You can’t,“ the Thirteen spat. “Not while I have your child!“

“Yes, we can. You’ve drawn the short straw in this standoff. We can blow this place up anytime. I’ll regenerate, so will the Master, so will my son! Really, it’s just you that’s left, isn’t it, and you will die a proper death this time,“ she stated, her voice low and threatening.

“Get everyone else out of here and get the Sontaran to rig the place,“ the Master called to Vastra. The Silurian shot a quick glance to the Doctor who just nodded in confirmation.

“Out of here, everyone!“ Vastra ordered and Kate relayed her order, they had to trust that the Doctor knew what she was doing.

“I’m staying as well, I’m not going anywhere until I have my son,“ River announced and stopped struggling at last. She realised her wife knew what she was doing and she chose to trust her. The Master, in turn, let go of her.

“There is a compromise to be made here, Thirteen,“ the Doctor took a step towards the renegade, demanding his attention as the room emptied. “You’re scared of dying, I get that, I can help, we can help. The Master has expertise in this too, we can give you another circle of regenerations but only once you hand my son over to River.“ She looked to the baby who’s hair was beginning to turn to soft curls, reminiscent of his mother’s. “Or we go the nuclear option.“ Her eyes snapped back up to the Thirteen. “What the hell, time for a new face.“

“I was looking forward to getting to know this one,“ River commented with a sigh.

“Sorry, love.“ The Doctor gave a soft smile, and the Master went along with it as well:

“Ah what the hell, I don’t want to be left looking like him anyway.“

“Fine, fine!“ The Thirteen exclaimed, feeling the pressure but panicked again when the Doctor stepped closer: “No, no, don’t come closer, you give me what I want first!“ He demanded. “You have no way of knowing whether he will regenerate or not! His DNA wasn’t enough to replicate the process, what makes you think the little mudblood can even regenerate? You fix up the serum first!“ He gestured towards the medical instruments.

“Alright look, here…“ The Doctor held up her hands appeasingly and turned to the workstation. She picked up a syringe. With all eyes on her, she drew up a sample of her own blood and placed the syringe back on the tray. “If you run it through the sequencing process and then generate the serum, it should work.“

“How do I know you’re not trying to trick me?“ The Thirteen spat.

“That’s the sort of thing you’d do, I’m not like you. Now, you haven’t got much time.“ The Doctor took a step closer and held her hands out to him. The Thirteen made no attempt at handing over the child. The Doctor pulled out her screwdriver and returned to the work station. She soniced it once she found what she was looking for and pressed a button. “Start a countdown and blow up this place in five minutes,“ she spoke into the newly restored intercom, and only seconds later Kate replied on the same channel:

“Affirmative, we’re out of here, Doctor, starting the countdown for five minutes. Good luck!“ The line went dead with static.

“See?“ The Doctor turned back to the Thirteen. “Clock is ticking, time to make a decision, hand over my son.“

“No, no, no, it’s a trick,“ the Three pushed to the forefront of the Thirteen’s mind.

“No tricks but a ticking clock,“ River announced, taking a step towards him. “You still have time to get out of here with the serum.“ She pulled her gun on him for added pressure but she didn’t dare fire, her eyes fixed on her son. The Thirteen was right of course, there was no way of knowing whether their son was actually able to regenerate. It stood to reason as she had been able to herself at some point too, but it was not a given. She couldn’t take the risk. She trusted her wife knew what she was doing. She had dealt with the Thirteen far more frequently than the Master or she herself had.

“Feeling the pressure yet?“ The Master for his part appeared to be enjoying the sense of impending doom as he took a twirl.

“What are you doing?“ The Thirteen shrieked.

“You were never good under pressure, none of you were,“ the Doctor commented. “Four and a half minutes.“

“Stop it!“ The Thirteen shouted.

“Why, are we confusing you?“ The Master laughed.

“Give them the child!“ One of the Thirteen’s personalities shouted in near panic. “No, don’t, kill them, get out of here, kill the child and run-“ Another protested. “No, don’t, stop it, we can’t keep going like this, thirteen is enough, no more, please!“ Yet another interrupted pleading, until the Thirteen regained control. “Shut up all of you!“ He yelled, pressing a hand to his temple.

“Eight! Was that you?“ The Doctor recognised the voice that had pleaded for them to stop.

“Yes, but I can’t hold on, they’re all fighting amongst each other, too much-“ The Eight was there, distinct amongst the other voices, but the Thirteen forced him back: “Back in your box, Eight!“

“Some of you are reasonable, Twelve, you know this is just a stupid way to go! Seven, you too! Eleven, after everything, your desperate struggle for survival, are you really going to let it end like this?“ The Doctor saw her chance and the Thirteen was staggering now, disoriented.

“Four minutes,“ the Master interjected.

“Eight, come on, you can do it,“ the Doctor implored him.

“No. No, no, no, no,“ the Thirteen whimpered.

“Doctor, we need to do something.“ River was getting nervous, they weren’t getting anywhere.

“Help me,“ the Doctor said and River turned back to the Thirteen.

“Eight, remember when we met? The Doomsday Chronometer? You were trying to stop Padrac and your future self then, you can do it again now,“ she drew his attention away from the Doctor. She tried her best to recall the Eight when he had been himself. Kind, helpful and good, perhaps the Doctor was right, perhaps he could do this one last thing for them. “You are a good man!“

“NO! Shut up!“ The Thirteen yelled but River’s words cut through the chatter. “Professor, I’m so sorry, I can’t…I… don’t want to keep doing this anymore, please, you have to stop this.“ The Eight was back and he staggered forward.

“Three minutes,“ the Master announced.

River rushed forward and met the renegade Time Lord half way. The Eight held on just long enough to hand over the child and River pulled her son into her arms.

“It’s okay, Eight, it’s okay, thank you!“ The Doctor let go a sigh of relief.

“You are an embarrassment, we will bury you…“ The Thirteen shouted, wrestling control from his past self and River didn’t hesitate. She pointed her gun at him and shot him square in the chest.

“River!“ The Doctor exclaimed, shocked. “What have you done?“

“What the Eight wanted,“ River answered as she watched the Thirteen drop to all fours, his lives and energy spent. There was no golden hue, no fizzing of energy, not this time. They didn’t hang around to witness what happened next, their time was up.

“Let’s get out of here before the place blows up,“ the Master grabbed both of their arms and pulled them along, back to the TARDIS that they had two and a half minutes to get working again. With all the shields and suppression fields lifted, it was the easiest job of the day.

——

The TARDIS

“How… are you doing…“ The Doctor took a step towards River as the TARDIS launched and made for Torchwood Two.

“Good… we’re both… good…“ River managed a little smile as she smoothed back her son’s curls. “We should run a scan, maybe, make sure he’s really, properly, okay…“ She hummed but for the moment, she contented herself by holding him close. He had settled in her arms as if he had never been away.

“I can’t believe you’re really here…“ The Doctor breathed, looking at River in wonder. Against all odds, her wife had returned to her. It had been a most painstaking adventure but maybe, just this once, the end justifies the means.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you…“ River met her eyes and the Doctor just smiled.

“Things got away from us a little bit, didn’t they,“ the Doctor sighed and River chuckled.

“All is well that ends well.“ She reached out and cupped her wife’s cheek. “Thank you for coming for us.“

“Always,“ the Doctor promised and pressed a soft kiss to her wife’s lips.

“Do you want to hold him?“ River asked and the Doctor bit back tears.

“Yes, please,“ she whispered and River passed their son to her. She rested her head on her shoulder as she watched her wife and son get acquainted. The Doctor swallowed and took a deep breath, struggling for composure as she ran her hand along her son’s cheek and the baby reached out, curling it’s little hand around her finger.

“He will need a name,“ River hummed and pressed a kiss to her wife’s cheek.

“Master Junior!“ The Master called from the console and River and the Doctor looked around, the perfect family moment ruined. They had completely forgotten he was even there. “Sorry, were you not quite done yet? It’s not like she’s in any state to come up with a name now anyway,“ he snarked. “I’ll have us arrive in six hours time then, shall I? Give everyone a chance to get back to your little base yeah?“ He gestured to the TARDIS controls. “Am I the only one who thinks practically around here?“

“This doesn’t undo what you did on Gallifrey…“ The Doctor spoke at last.

“No, I don’t suppose it does…“ He retorted without looking at her, his voice surprisingly reflective.

“But it’s a start.“

——

Torchwood Two Hub, 21st Century

“Thank you all so very much,“ the Doctor looked around the room to her numerous friends who had managed to make their way back to their base. She was beyond relieved to find them all with only minor injuries from the fistfight and in good spirits all round. They had won!

“It has been a pleasure,“ Kate took it upon herself to speak for all of them. They all shared the same sentiment.

“I couldn’t have done it without you, any of you. I’m sorry if… I was a bit much to deal with at times…“ The Doctor looked around the room into knowing faces.

“That’s an understatement…“ Yaz huffed and everybody laughed. In victory, the bumps and bruises they had sustained along the way were forgotten. What mattered was that the Doctor’s child was safe. The little boy was sleeping peacefully in River’s arms after they had checked him over and he turned out to be completely fine.

“Sorry, but are we going to forget all the Master’s crimes because he did one nice thing?“ It was Martha that felt she needed to be the voice of reason as she pointed to the Master who was hanging back, staying close to the door as if ready to make an escape at any point. It was obvious from his body posture that he didn’t feel he belonged here.

“No, but I am under the impression the Master is eager to make amends,“ the Doctor announced looking around to him.

“I am?“ He frowned and she nodded.

“He is,“ she confirmed. She had had a little bit of time to consider the best course of action and she felt confident she had found it. “There is a TARDIS in the wreckage of that place… you will find it, repair it and for your first trip take Madame Kovarian and Padrac to suitable new homes.“

“Where might that be?“ River asked. She herself would probably have opted for executing both of them, a sentiment the Master surely could get behind, but she knew it wasn’t the Doctor’s way. She was still upset with her for having shot the Thirteen but she had come around to see her reasoning. The Eight had asked for a release, and it was the only thing they could do for him, after he had returned their son to them.

“Stormcage for Madame Kovarian, I was thinking, time she found out where her schemes led River and how thoroughly unpleasant prison can be when you haven’t got the luxury of a Time Lord bailing you out now and again,“ the Doctor answered. “And I think Padrac would like to return to Gallifrey, wouldn’t he? To the ruins of it. Let him try and rebuild there.“

“I suppose so,“ the Master huffed, crossing his arms in front of his chest. It wasn’t the most unpleasant task. He would enjoy dropping Padrac on the dead rock that was their home world, it seemed like just punishment, and while he didn’t have much of an opinion on Madame Kovarian, it was a favour he wouldn’t mind doing the Doctor and her wife. All things considered, he would walk out of the arrangement with a TARDIS of his own so it seemed worth the trouble.

“And, as hopeful as I might be that you have changed your ways, I am not inclined to believe it just yet. So I would suggest an entourage of Torchwood and UNIT agents? I’m sure they would appreciate your help in dealing with the frequent incursions they face,“ the Doctor carried on, a winning smile crossing her features.

“Come on, Doctor, that’s not…“ The Master started to protest but she shook her head.

“No, you’re not getting out of it. You have amends to make. Remember my time as a UNIT special advisor? Let’s say it’s your turn now.“

“How long for?“ The Master huffed.

“Until I am satisfied that you have repaid your debt. You have destroyed one of my homes, now you can do your bit to protect the other,“ the Doctor explained sternly. “At least while I take some time away to be with my family.“

“Anything else?“ The Master sighed, exasperated.

“That’ll do for now, I’ll be in touch. I would have said you can drop Vastra and the gang on your way but I suppose they might want to get home sooner rather than later.“ The Doctor smiled at Vastra, Strax and Jenny who this fateful adventure had started with. “Come on guys, let’s drop you home.“ She nodded for them to follow out of the hub and back to the surface where her TARDIS was parked. “And you, my brave, wonderful friends…“ She beamed at the remainder of her companions, words failing her for how grateful she was to each and every one of them.

“I’m sure we will do just fine with our new recruit.“ Kate gave her a reassuring smile.

“No doubt about it,“ Jack confirmed with a grin, as did Gwen, the Osgoods, Martha and Mickey.

“I’m sure you will.“ The Doctor winked at the Master who rolled his eyes and held his hands up appeasingly. He seemed to have no intention of making life hard for them.

“Fam, I think you’ve found a new home here.“ The Doctor turned to Ryan and Graham who had walked over to join the Torchwood and UNIT agents.

“Well, someone needs to look after Earth while you go on paternity leave,“ Graham joked and the Doctor chuckled and nodded. She was glad to see them doing so well, it was an incredible joy to see them all working together. “What about you, Yaz, are you staying with them or…“ She wasn’t sure how to approach the third member of her fam. Yaz had wanted to keep travelling with her but this would be a bit different going forward, at least for a time.

“You know what, Doctor… I think I’d like to go with Vastra, Jenny and Strax… if they’ll have me of course…“ Yaz looked to the Paternoster Gang with a sheepish smile. It had been quite the adventure they had been on together and she had given the matter a lot of thought. She wasn’t quite ready to give up on the life of adventure yet but the Doctor would need to spend time with her family now. After their epic adventure through space, solid ground would make a nice change. Fighting crime in Victorian England sounded like just the adventure she needed next.

“You are welcome to stay for as long as you like,“ Vastra smiled.

“How come?“ The Doctor asked, genuinely surprised and curious in equal measures. She would have expected her to want to stay with Torchwood but she had clearly underestimated the journey she had been on with the Paternoster Gang.

“I’ve had enough of space and age-old feuds for a while… I think I’d like to discover more of Earth and focus on more human monsters for a while. What can I say, I’m a trainee police officer… who better to learn the trade from than a real life Sherlock Holmes,“ Yaz grinned, delighted at the idea. She knew that she could always call upon her and hatch a lift back to her time when she was good and ready.

“Well in that case, next stop Victorian London!“ The Doctor grinned and bid farewell to the protectors of 21st Century Earth.

——

“Professor, I just want to say… I’m sorry we weren’t better guardians to your son.“ Vastra felt the need to apologise one more time as they found themselves outside the front door of Paternoster Row.

“You are the bravest, most loyal group of friends anyone could wish for. You have crossed all of time and space to bring us back together, you saved me from Demon’s Run, you have done more than I could ever ask of you.“ River took Vastra’s hand and gave her a reassuring squeeze. She understood the Silurian was a creature with an honour-based belief system, but surely she had to see that any debt she thought she owed her had been repaid tenfold.

“We’re just glad everything turned out alright,“ Jenny smiled, looping her arm around her wife’s.

“Everything turned out just fine,“ the Doctor assured them.

“Ma’am, will we be having visitors, shall I prepare tea?“ Strax asked and Vastra looked to the Doctor and River.

“Would you care to come in? I’m afraid the kitchen is still a bit of a mess but I’m sure Strax can manage,“ the lady of the house asked.

“We will get out of your hair for now,“ the Doctor chuckled. “But we will be dropping by, don’t worry.“ The Doctor gave Yaz a kind smile, hoping she would enjoy the change of scenery and the young woman mirrored the gesture.

“Look after yourself and your family,“ Yaz smiled and the Doctor nodded, sharing a glance with River, intent on doing just that.

“Let’s go home.“ The Doctor reached for her wife’s hand and pressed a kiss to her son’s head before they headed back to the TARDIS.

END.

-------------------

Author notes: Okay, so first of all, thank you very much for reading!!! I appreciate each and every one of you and your lovely comments, ideas and opinions, they honestly make my day and bring me so much joy, it keeps me writing and knowing you enjoy my sometimes confusing and ridiculously complicated stories, that's just the best!!!

I really hope you found the ending satisfying and that I wrapped up all plot points properly. I'll leave you to imagine what adventures the Master gets up to with UNIT/Torchwood and whether he can stay on the straight and narrow, how Yaz gets on in Victorian London with the Paternoster Gang and of course how the Doctor, her wife and their son navigate family life together! I don't now if I will ever revisit this universe, probably not for a while, but I left my options open (hence them not watching the Thirteen die and the Doctor leaving the sample behind, who knows maybe they find a way of dragging themselves over there, making the serum and getting more regenerations before everything blows up, Time Lords take forever to die :P).

I had several different endings planned for this along the way (The Master was going to be evil and behind it all when I first set out. At one point I had planned for River to go back in time and abduct the baby from Paternoster Row and replacing it with a flesh avatar - that's why I gave her the Clocksmith's TARDIS in the first place :D - and she was going to drop him off with the Eighth Doctor at Bakerstreet...) but in the end, this felt like the one that fit best. I really wanted to have the Master working with UNIT and mirror the Third Doctor's time in exile that way. So yes, all in all, I really hope this worked for you!!

Last but not least, I'd be delighted if any of you chose to check out the big project I'm going to be focusing on now: A Numbers Game (I'll probably be posting the next chapter tomorrow!). I realise it's a bit of a departure from my normal stuff but I'm very excited about it and the storyline will be as timey-whimy and confusing as this one lol. Also, you've now spent plenty of time with one of the Eighth Doctor's best villains, why not spent some time with Eight and his companions and read about them fighting Daleks with Thirteen, River and co? Plus, there will be more of UNIT, Torchwood and the Fam teaming up! :D

Anyway, enough self-promotion :D Again, thank you very much for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!

17 notes · View notes

fandom-imagines-stories · 4 years

Text

Along for the Ride

Dean Winchester x Reader

Words: 3007

Summary: When you first started hunting with Dean Winchester, you hadn’t expected it to last this long. Together, you face all kinds of ghouls and basically become the ultimate badass couple. But when you start to think you’re just another fling for him, he has no trouble correcting you.

Notes: This is meant to be a fluffier Dean piece, but you know me, I have to have a bit of angst. I am trying to break up Dean’s darker imagines with fluff, so be prepared for Friday.

Special shout out to my amazing beta reader Sarah, @suckmysupernatural . I love her so much and honestly, she’s helped me so much in getting these imagines out for you and she has some absolutely killer writing of her own!

Want more Supernatural? Find it HERE

You swung your knife hard into the blood-sucker’s neck, his head rolling across the warehouse floor. You turned to see Dean saw off another one himself, blood covering both of your clothes.

“That’s the last of them.” He groaned, lifting up his shirt to examine the bruises and cuts. “That son of a bitch really put up a fight.” You wiped your stained blade off on your jeans and opened the warehouse door, basking in the autumn sun. Dean shook the dust and dirt off of his jacket and wrapped his arm around you as you both walked to the Impala.

“I think this calls for a beer,” you noted and he nodded in agreement. The two of you just took out an entire nest of vamps, a little celebration was deserved. And after a few bottles of beer, Dean texted Sam and told him that you would be a while and the two of you had an entirely different kind of celebration back at the motel.

The two of you laid together in a comforting silence, your arms wrapped around Dean as he stared up at the ceiling. This was pretty routine for your relationship. You had each other’s backs during a hunt and you were there to help each other unwind afterwards. Poor Sam usually just went and got something to eat by himself. You wrapped your arms around Dean a little tighter, that part of you close to your heart wishing that this was more than it was. But you could never tell Dean that you loved him. That wasn’t part of the deal.

“What’s on your mind?” Dean asked, feeling your shoulders tense.

“Pie.” You lied, laughing as he leaned over you, chuckling deeply in your ear. His green eyes- god, those eyes- stared at you intensely.

“I’m serious. What’s up?”

“Nothing, Dean.” You were usually a great liar. It was a skill that was required in your particular profession. When it came to Dean, however, you were totally transparent. You decided to change the subject to hopefully get him off your case. “Do you want some coffee? I’m dying for some caffeine.” You slid into your jeans and stole his flannel before he could grab it.

“That’s my shirt.” He huffed, finding his pants.

“I like you better like this.” You grinned, tracing a hand over his bare chest. “Besides, I look better in it.” Dean pulled you in for a rough kiss, nearly falling back on to the bed. You laughed as you pushed away. “Easy, tiger. We should go meet up with Sam. He’s probably been sitting in a diner somewhere all alone.”

“Yeah, yeah, poor Sammy.” You ruffled Dean’s hair and grabbed his keys with a devilish grin.

“First one to the car gets to drive.”

“Oh hell no.” Dean practically lunged at you and you squealed as you jumped out of the way, sprinting out the door.

“I would ask what took you two so long, but I really don’t want to know.” Sam took note of your change in clothes and put the pieces together. He had been typing away on his laptop looking for a possible new case for the past couple of hours. Luckily, most of the patrons of the diner just thought he was writing a horror novel.

“Find anything good?” Dean asked, motioning to the waitress for two cups of coffee. You couldn’t help but notice the way she leaned over the counter just so, flipping her hair over her shoulder.

“Did you want any sugar, sugar?” You rolled your eyes, but Dean, being Dean, smiled at her.

“No thanks.” She winked and strut off, her hips swaying more than you thought was humanly possible. Your eyes fell to the counter. Sam, having noticed your reaction to the encounter, started to list possible cases to distract you. He knew that Dean wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. But he also knew that Dean didn’t always realize when his harmless flirting wasn’t harmless anymore.

“There’s a group of campers that disappeared in the Rockies, all that was left in their camp was a couple of demonic symbols carved into the trees.”

“Sounds a little more like a prank than our kind of thing.” You noted, looking at the screen over his shoulder. “What about this one?” You pointed to a possible poltergeist case in Tulsa. “Four women over the last ten years, each found in their locked apartments with the words “Not Enough” carved into their chests.” The three of you collectively grimaced.

“Hell hath no fury.” You muttered and the boys voiced their agreement.

Sam was driving, so you flipped a coin to figure out who got shot-gun. A string of curses came from Dean as he climbed into the back seat. You smirked with victory and blew him a sarcastic kiss.

“Real cute.” He barked and you and Sam shared a laugh. You started to scour records from the town to see if you could find any strange or violent deaths. One in particular fit the bill. You motioned for Dean to look and his fingers grazed your shoulder as he pulled himself forward.

“Look at this. Martha Greenburg; 25. Ten years ago, she threw herself off of a bridge and wrote in her suicide note that she wasn’t enough for him. The police concluded that she was talking about her fiance, Haris, who broke her heart the previous day.”

“Not enough.” Dean repeated, grabbing your phone to get a better look at the story. Your eyes lingered on him with a sad expression. Something about the words hit you harder than you would admit. You didn’t see Sam’s eyes dart over towards you, a deep frown appearing on his face. Dean returned your phone. “So, heart broken Martha kills herself and now she wants other women to feel the pain she felt?”

“That makes some kind of sick, sad sense.” You sighed, resigning to looking out your window for the rest of the trip.

When you got to another motel, Sam suggested that Dean go in and get a room while the two of you bounced some more theories back and forth. As soon as Dean was gone, Sam turned to you with a serious, empathetic expression.

“Is everything okay, Y/N?” His hand found yours in that classic Comfort Mode Sam way.

“Of course.” You faked a laugh, but it didn’t work. “Look, I’ve just had a few stupid ideas running through my head lately, but I’m sure they’ll pass.”

“What ideas?”

“Seriously Sam, it’s nothing.”

“Seriously Y/N, it clearly isn’t.” You accepted defeat and took a deep breath.

“I’ve just started to wish that it all meant more, you know? To him.”

“Did something happen between you and Dean?” Sam actually looked ready to smack his big brother upside the head.

“No, no, not exactly. I forgot what we were, that’s all.” You watched Dean come back out of the motel with a heavy heart and a sad smile. “But hey, I’m just happy I get to be along for the ride.”

Dean got back to the car before Sam could respond. He just looked at you with a sympathetic sadness that made you feel even worse. You should have just kept your mouth shut. You rolled down your window so Dean could talk.

“You two ready to change and head to the coroner’s office?” He noticed the change of tone in the car and scoffed. “Man, you two make ghouls look excited. Let’s go.” You gave Sam a pleading glance before grabbing your bag from the back and going in to change into your pantsuit. Sam and Dean found their bags and Sam punched Dean’s shoulder.

“What did you say to her?” He asked angrily.

“What are you talking about?” Dean snapped back, rubbing the now sore spot.

“To Y/N? What did you do?”

“Sammy,” Dean’s mouth formed a suggestive smirk. “I think we all know what Y/N and I did.”

“God, Dean that’s not what I meant.” Sam shook his head and slammed the trunk shut.

There was an odd tension between the three of you as you left the coroner’s office. Every bodies’ insides were basically mush, as if they’d hit a wall at 100 miles per hour. A strange burn marked their hands. Their lungs were also filled with water. Oh, and sure enough, every single one had the words ‘Not Enough’ deeply carved across their chest. Every woman was engaged, and from the reports, they were happy. Martha’s distorted jealousy took that from them. It made your skin crawl.

“Hey,” Dean said suddenly, pulling you to the side. “Are you okay?” You tried to hide all of the turning in your stomach.

“Are we really going to do this again?” You laughed, but this time, it wasn’t as convincing. “Dean, I’m fine.” His stupid green eyes were doing that thing they did when he was trying to get you to tell him something. So instead, you kissed him very, very convincingly. Sam cleared his throat and you pulled away.

“Martha was cremated. So salting and burning the bones is out.” He informed, giving you a strange look. Dean composed himself, still a little stunned. “We’re back to square one.”

You all wracked your brains to figure out what the spirit could be latching onto. You remembered something about the crime scene photos. Something about their hands.

“I know what it is.” You marched back into the morgue and pulled back the tarp covering the woman’s body. “Look at her left hand.” A band was burned around her finger- where her engagement ring would have been. “All of the women had this burn. What if they all had the same ring?”

“It could be worth looking into.” Sam noted, still giving you that annoyingly concerned stare. You tried to shrug it off.

“Then what are we waiting for?” You brushed past Dean and rushed out to the impala.

“This is what I was talking about.” Sam hissed at his brother. “Dean, you need to talk to her. She…” His voice trailed off. You would kill him if you found out that he told Dean what you said.

“She what?” Dean really sounded worried. If something was wrong, he wanted to know.

“She thinks she’s just a fling to you, Dean.” He blurted, checking to make sure you were gone. “She said she wished that what you two have meant more.”

“Why would she think that?” Now he sounded hurt. Couldn’t you tell how much you meant to him? Sure, he wasn’t super vocal about his affections, but he always figured you knew.

“I don’t know but she said she’s just happy to be ‘along for the ride’.” Sam sighed, leaving to join Y/N in the car, but Dean stayed back. Along for the ride? What did that even mean? He thought what the two of you had was real, which was not something he was used to, but did you think this was all some prolonged one night stand? With all of his questions, he did know one thing. He loved you- as sappy-romance-movie as that sounded- and he was going to make damn sure that you knew it this time.

Dean did not like this plan. Looking down at the small box in his hand, he shuttered. He really really did not like this plan. You and Sam were waiting in the car in an uncomfortable silence.

“Did you get it?” Sam asked as Dean climbed into the driver’s seat. He gave his brother a scowl.

“I don’t like this.”

“Dean, everything is going to be fine.” You assured him. “I’ll be the bait and once Martha pops in to carve me up, you guys will burn the ring.”

“Why can’t we just burn it now?”

“Because if we summon her, we can be sure that we killed her.” You knew that it was dangerous, but it could be your only shot. Sure, you were scared, but you’d never let the boys know that.

The three of you drove to the spot where this all started; the old bridge that Martha took the dive off of. The bridge had been closed for years, so traffic wasn’t a problem. You got out of the impala, listening to the river flow beneath your feet. You kept a brave face, but Dean could see your nerves.

“You don’t have to do this.” Dean protested, holding the box in his hand. “We could just torch this thing right now and be done with it.”

“She only shows up when the ring has a hand, Dean.” You held up your left hand and held out your right for him to give you the box. Instead, he took the ring out himself.

“You…” He paused, looking for the right words. “You know that I care about you, right?” You stepped back.

“Of course, Dean.” You looked over at Sam, but he was too busy loading the rock salt to notice your frustration. He must have said something. “Look, we don’t have time for this. Let’s just gank the ghost and get out of here.” Dean saw through your toughness, of course, but he didn’t argue. He did, however, lean in for a kiss. It was a different kind of kiss than you usually shared. It wasn’t lusting or rushed. It was slow and sweet and perfect. When he pulled back, he kept his forehead rested against yours.

“Be careful.” He whispered and slipped the ring onto your finger. Immediately, he was thrown backwards, having to catch himself on the railing to keep from falling over the edge.

“Dean!” You screamed. Martha’s apparition appeared in front of you, her hair wet and matted and her face stained with eternal tears.

“He’ll never love you.” She croaked, water pouring out of her mouth as she spoke. You braced yourself. There was nothing she could say that you hadn’t already thought of a million times.

“Let’s dance, bitch.”

The ring on your hand started to burn and you cried out, trying to take it off. Her hand latched around your throat and dragged you to the side of the bridge, hanging you over the railing.

“Y/N!” Sam shouted, aiming the salt loaded rifle at Martha. She flicked her wrist and sent the weapon flying into the water.

“It isn’t real.” She groaned, tightening her grip on your throat. “He doesn’t care. He’d rather roam around with waitresses and bartenders than be shackled down with you.” You tried to block her out, but her words sunk into you. “Because you’re not enough. You will never be enough.” Yout felt a sharp pain scrape across your chest as she started to carve her words into you. Through the pain and your screaming, you were able to tear the ring off of your finger.

“Dean.” You choked out, tossing the ring to him as Sam started the fire in a trash can that you’d stolen from the motel. Dean threw the ring into the flames before sprinting across the bridge towards you.

Martha let out a blood curdling scream as her image slowly burned away, her hold on you releasing, sending you tumbling over the edge. Hands latched around your ankle as you swayed over the rushing waters, blood seeping through your t-shirt.

“A little help, Sam!” Dean grunted, your foot slipping slightly in his hand. Sam grabbed your other ankle and the two of them were able to get you back on the bridge. Dean didn’t even let your feet touch the ground before he wrapped his arms around you, holding you as close to him as he could. You winced when his chest pressed against your new wounds. “Oh, crap, sorry.”

“It’s okay.” You pulled the collar of your shirt down enough to see that Martha had only gotten a few letters before she burned. “Great, now I’m just going to have ‘no’ scarred on my chest.” Dean let out an exasperated laugh, pulling you back to him.

You were packing up your things back at the motel when Dean asked Sam to give him a moment alone with you. You leaned against the hood of the impala, knowing exactly where this conversation was going to go.

“Do you believe what she said to you?” Okay, maybe you didn’t know where this conversation was going.

“What are you talking about?”

“Come on, Y/N, we all heard what she was saying.” Dean ran his hand down his face. “She said that I’d rather be off with some waitress than be with you. That you’re not enough for me.”

“Dean, I’m sure she says that to every-”

“Do you believe her?” He repeated, this time he sounded more upset. When you didn’t answer, his face changed with hurt. “Do you really think that little of me? Of us?”

“I’m in love with you, Dean.” You blurted. “That wasn’t part of the plan, but there it is.” Dean stepped closer to you, cupping your cheek.

“You aren’t just a fling, Y/N. I love you.” Dean cradled the back of your head in his hand as he pulled you in for a kiss. A slow and sweet and perfect kiss. But it wasn’t enough. Not for him. He had to show you that he meant it. He broke the kiss, those green eyes melting your heart completely. “Let’s get married.” You froze.

“What?”

“Let’s get married.” His face broke into a nervous grin. “Come on, Y/N, we already fight like a married couple. Sam treats you like a sister. I love you more than any girl I’ve ever known. Let’s do it.” The shock of his words faded just enough for you to respond.

“Okay.” You said breathlessly. Dean scooped you up in his arms and you laughed.

“I’m glad you two figured it out.” Sam smiled, throwing the last of the bags in the trunk. Dean gave his brother a beaming grin, setting you back on your feet.

“Come on, Sammy, we’ve got to get a non-haunted ring this time,” He exclaimed, giving you one more kiss. “We’re going to Vegas.”

General Tag: @rae-gar-targaryen; @takemepedropascal; @childhood-imagination; @mylovegoesto;

Supernatural: @desimarie12; @deandreamernp

#dean winchester x reader #dean winchester #jensen ackles #sam swinchester #supernatural #supernatural imagine #saving people hunting things

184 notes · View notes

wouldpollyapprove · 4 years

Text

Insecurities

Request: "I'm Pregnant." &“Well. Yell, scream, say something. Anything.” for Johnny Shelby and my desire to see you as an affectionate father and husband

"Oh, you’re jealous!” + “Forget it, you’re a fucking asshole.” with John Shelby

Requested by @bloodydynasty & Anonymous

John Shelby x Reader

Word Count: 1.3k

Warnings: Language, alcohol, insecurities, pregnancy

A/N: In this fic, John never married Martha because I forgot that any of that even happened while I was writing this. Also, I’m sorry if this is crap, I had editing so I rarely do it. I should, I know I should but it’s such a daunting task that I would rather do anything else but that.

Masterlist

“Oh, you’re jealous!” John teased you upon seeing the anger in your eyes directed at the woman he had just been flirting with.

You folded your arms over your chest, you couldn’t deny it, but you knew admitting it would do nothing. John had always been a flirt. Since the moment they had met, he could never keep his eyes from wondering. She thought that would change once they got married but she’d yet to see the day it would. Any time she’d complain to Polly or Ada, they told her not to worry about it. John was a good man and would never cheat on her. But that was never what she was worried about.

It was a foolish thought, but Y/n was afraid that her husband would fall out of love with her. Out of insecurities place on her by her mother, she was always afraid any love she would be given would slip right out of her hands. That meant any woman that caught John’s eye was a threat to her. He would give in to their sweet smiles, lustful eyes, and each time he did, his wife feared that she would soon be forgotten.

With his family’s company growing, it didn’t help matters. John would longer hours away from home, keeping his whereabouts a secret. There was no way for Y/n to know whether he was at the office, the Garrison, or in someone else’s bed. She should have trusted that he was right where he was supposed to be. But how could she do that when she couldn’t trust that she was enough for him?

“Whatever,” she rolled her eyes and drank what was left of her gin and tonic. “I’m going home.” Pushing herself off the bar, Y/n quickly grabbed her coat, slipped it on, and was out the door without even a goodbye to anyone.

John stood there for a moment, trying to process what had just happened. He hadn’t said anything, at least he couldn’t remember if he had. The man also didn’t believe there was anything he could have done to upset her. If his wife had an issue with the woman he was talking to minutes before, they were simply talking, nothing more, nothing less. No matter what had caused her to leave, he wasn’t going to let Y/n walk home. So, he too grabbed his coat and, without bidding anyone goodnight, slipped out the door.

“Y/n, wait,” he called, jogging up to her. Her pace didn’t slow for him, nor did she turn to face him when he fell in step beside her. “What’s wrong?”

She scoffed, eyes set forward, avoiding his gaze.

“Please, love, tell me what’s bothering you,” he insisted, hand grazing her elbow. He just wanted to feel her warmth instead of the cold wall she had placed around herself. Instead of answer his question, Y/n yanked her arm out of his reach and quickened her pace.

The rest of the walk home was done so in silence. Every once in a while, John would spare a glance at Y/n to see if her features had relaxed. They never did. Fingers curled up in fists, lips set in a straight line, fire like rage in her eyes.

Entering the house, Y/n shrugged off her coat, throwing it over a chair before heading to the kitchen. John did the same, only slower. Not wanting to crowd her, he knew distance would be best for the moment. Let her calm down and, perhaps, then she would talk.

Pouring herself a cup of tea, Y/n leaned against the counter. A few minutes later, her husband entered the room, causing her to turn her back to him.

A sigh escaped his lips when time did nothing to cool the fire inside her. “What did I do?”

Y/n shook her head, “Forget it, you’re a fucking asshole. Nothing I say will make a difference.” She moved from the counter, going to walk past him, he grabbed her wrist, pulling her back. “Let go,” she seethed, eyes on the hand wrapped around her skin.

“Not until you answer me,” he said firmly. “If I have hurt you in any way, I want to know. I deserve to know.”

Jaw set, she finally met his eye. Though she could tell he was growing irritated, John’s eyes were warm and loving, the same could not be said for her own. “I’m pregnant,” she whispered, the words earning her release. With her freedom, she could have left him there and seek shelter in their bedroom, but, lowering her arm, she waited patiently for his response. When minutes went by, she groaned, “Well, John. Yell, scream, say something. Don’t stand there like an idiot.”

The two had never had an actual discussion on having children. If it was meant to happen, it would, that’s what she believed. Polly had told her once before that she would bear many children, but as they had been married for a little over two years and there were still no small feet running around, she doubted that would ever prove true. No matter her views, Y/n never expected to stand before her husband, with the news that she was expecting, and fear that he would be anything but happy.

“Is that what you’re mad about?” John asked, brow raised.

Biting the inside of her cheek, she hadn’t received the response she was looking for. She was hoping that the announcement would allow for the pair to forget about the problems that plagued them and, for a little while, she could feel secure with what she had.

“Y/n.” He gently wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her against his chest. “Why are you mad, love? This is happy news,” he said with a sad smile. When she failed to meet his eyes, John brought a hand to her cheek, raising her head as he softly rubbed her soft skin. “Just tell me.”

Tears pooled in the corner of her eyes, Y/n knew the subject wouldn’t be dropped unless she confessed, but her confession was rather silly. It would earn a laugh from the man, no doubt. “I… Do you love me?” she questioned.

A puzzled expression over to her husband’s features, “Yes. Yes, I’m in fucking love with you! Why would you ask such a thing?” Hurt was evident in his eyes, causing Y/n to regret her question.

“Sometimes-” Y/n moved away from his touch, venturing into the parlor. “-I feel that it wouldn’t be hard for you to love another and leave me behind,” she admitted. “I fear that I am not enough.”

John didn’t know what to say. He had never once believed she could have felt this way. A quick glance at his actions during the night pointed out what had upset her. It was his own fault that they were questioning each other. His fault that his wife felt she might be unloved. John’s heart broke at the thought. His actions, his words, had caused her pain.

Crossing the room, he knew not what to say, but what to do. Embracing her, John held her tightly against his chest as tears slide down her cheeks. “It’s okay, it’s okay,” he muttered in her eye as he rubbed her back. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry for everything. Your the apple of my fucking eye,” John confessed, kissing the exposed skin on her neck. “I should have done a better job of showing you that. I swear, I will do better for you-” He pulled away and rested a hand against where their child was growing. “-and for our baby.”

Sniffling, Y/n wiped her tears away with the back of her hand. “You’ll be a wonderful father, John,” she smiled, placing her hands over his. “I know you will.”

*~~*~~*

Let me know if you would like to be added to either taglist.

Permanent: @amirahiddleston @haphazardhufflepuff @woahitslucyylu @mzcrazy2 @lovemissyhoneybee @multi-fandom-iimagines @tarafaithe @jenepleurepasbaby @fernweh-fangirl @the-anxious-youth @theshelbyclan @wtfdanness @chloeforde @futuristicslimemongerbanana @lucillethings @nemesis729 @sirkekselord @princesscornbread @i-volunteer-for-finnick @iwillboilyourteeth @anyasthoughts @ellieemais

Peaky Blinders: @simonsbluee

#peaky blinders #peaky blinder fanfic #peaky blinders imagines #peaky blinder imagine #the peaky blinders #john shelby imagines #john shelby x reader #john shelby imagine #john shelby

590 notes · View notes

schrijverr · 3 years

Text

'Till Death Do Us Part

Part 1 out of 13

When Alex has to bring Philip to work, he and Thomas discover that they both have something in common: they lost their love. They form an unexpected bond and connection about this that grows into something more.

A medium burn with parental feelings about Philip and flowers.

On AO3.

Ships: Jamilton

Warnings: mentions of grief and death

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 1: Canterbury Bell Means ‘Acknowledging’

Alex ran a hand through his hair as he thought of who to call. Philip’s teacher had just called that today school would be canceled due to a mishap yesterday, but his usual babysitter wasn’t available on such short notice.

Maria and Eliza would usually be up to babysit, but they were away on their honeymoon, Angelica worked with him, so she was out, Laf was in France and Herc had that fashion show. He cursed, then looked at Philip to check if he’d heard.

Philip was oblivious. The five-year-old was happily munching on soggy cereal as he watched some kids show.

He was a well behaved sweet child.

Alex smiled and watched his son. It ached how much he looked like John with his freckles and little curls and in moments like these he wished the other was still there, so he wouldn’t have to deal with everything on his own.

“What are we doing today, Papa?” Philip asked.

“I’m going to work, do you want to come with me?” Alex made up his mind, he was sure Washington wouldn’t mind seeing Philip again and he knew Philip would be on his best behavior in the office.

“Yeah!” Philip cheered happily, starting to munch on his food slightly faster.

Alex chuckled at the sight, before sending Angelica a message of why he would be slightly late and who he would have with him.

Then it was bustling through getting the sock on the right foot and the shoes on, making sure Philip’s jacket was on correctly and his shirt not inside out, before almost forgetting his keys as they made their way out the door.

It was the first time since John’s death that Alex was late to work. It was only a few minutes, but it was more noticeable since he was usually way too early.

With Philip on his hip he rushed to his office where an email informed him that the meeting of the afternoon was rescheduled for now, but he could still make it if he hurried.

“Should we go see Grandpa George? Would you like that buddy?” he asked Philip.

He grinned as the boy’s eyes lit up and he bounced so much, he almost fell out of Alex’s arms as he chuckled: “Okay, okay, let’s go.”

Alex opened the door with an apologetic grin as he said: “I’m sorry, the morning was a bit hectic, I just got in.”

Philip wiggled out of his arms and ran to Washington, who caught the boy easily as he assured Alex: “It’s alright, son. Angelica told me already.”

With a sigh of relief Alex set his stuff down, not even bothering to correct Washington about the moniker, before calling Philip over to him and explaining: “I have to do boring work now, but I have some paper and pencils for you, so that you can color. Does that sound fun, Pip? Will you tell me if you need to pee?”

“Yes, Papa,” Philip promised, taking the coloring materials and settling down in Alex’s lap peacefully.

The love he had of drawing was something he shared with his Daddy and Alex always choked up slightly when he saw that concentrated face and the pencil. He was quickly distracted, however, by a certain Virginian saying something stupid and he mostly forgot about Philip in his lap as the meeting progressed.

About an hour into the meeting, Philip pulled on Alex’s jacket and whispered: “Papa, I have to go pee.”

Alex cut himself off mid sentence and smiled down at the boy: “I’m sure, Grandpa George wouldn’t mind if we take a small break to go pee. You hungry, Pip?”

“A bit,” Philip confessed.

“Well, then it’s a good thing, I have a little snack for you,” he said, as he got up, putting Philip down on his two feet as he took his hand, “Come on, buddy.”

Philip followed his Papa contently as Washington cleared his throat: “I think we can all do with a break, gentlemen.”

Thomas frowned. He already thought it quite irresponsible to bring a kid to work, but he supposed the reason must be good enough if Angelica agreed, however stopping a meeting right as they were getting somewhere was annoying.

The kid was cute though. Thomas had no clue who the mother was. Hell, he hadn’t even known Alex was married, or divorced with how he was married to his work.

Also, Grandpa George? Talk about nepotism.

He blinked as Alex got back with Philip. The kid seemed less fidgety and was eating a granola bar with little chocolate chips in it as Alex smiled down gently, not at all like normally. Though, Thomas supposed, he only got to see Alex when the other was yelling or presenting.

It was strange to see Alex so domestic. He had often pictured the other like that, but now it was even easier to picture him – sadly – with a faceless woman, which send a pang through Thomas. It was pathetic how he was crushing on an already taken coworker who hated him.

Though Thomas would never act on those feelings, so it shouldn’t – didn’t – even hurt... that much.

After Martha, he just didn’t know if he could move on like that, but he could allow himself to watch, to torture himself with what he never had or will have.

The rest of the meeting went smoothly with everyone pretending they didn’t notice the small boy crawling under the big table with play cars as he made soft ‘vroom vroom’-noises.

When everyone was leaving Alex squatted and called out: “Hey, Pip, you having fun there?”

“Yes, Papa,” the little voice called back.

“That’s great, buddy,” Alex smiled, “Would you mind moving? We need to go back to my office now, but you can keep playing.”

“But then my cars can’t go to their base under the chair and they need to, because the evil monkeys are after them and they have to go back to defend it,” Philip explained.

Alex listened closely and nodded: “Seems like they’re hardworking cars, Pip. Remember when I was working hard and then we went on a vacation to that cottage in the forest?”

That was a lie, sort of. He had been throwing himself into work because John’s death date had been coming up and Angelica had forced him to take a vacation, sadly backed up by Washington, though Alex had to admit it had been for the better.

“Yes?” Philip was obviously confused about the question.

“Maybe your cars also deserve a vacation,” he said, “They can go on vacation in my office and take a rest from fighting the evil monkeys.”

“Ooh, yes,” the little boy exclaimed as he made his way to his father, who double checked if all their stuff was with them.

When he turned to the door, he was surprised to find Thomas there, soft smile on his face as he waited. Thomas noticed and held up the keys: “It’s my turn to lock up.”

“Ah, well, thank you for waiting,” Alex said awkwardly.

“I didn’t know you had a kid,” Thomas started, trying to fill the strange silence.

“I’m not much of a family talker, but Philip is my pride and joy,” Alex told him, “He’s very smart, isn’tthat right, Pip?”

“Yes, my teacher says I’m very good, one of the bestest in class and I can already write my name. I also draw very good already,” Philip bragged, “And Papa always says I will blow eeeveryone away.”

“Oh, wow, kiddo, that’s pretty good,” Thomas humored the kid, charmed by his smile and excited gestures as he talked, kind of like Alex in a way.

“Well, bye Hamilton.”

“Ah, yes, bye Jefferson.”

They awkwardly went their separate ways, not used to the fact that one of them wasn’t stomping away angrily while the other yelled at them.

Alex shook his head, he felt weird with Thomas being nice to him. He had smiled at Philip and it was genuine, not his normal ‘I’m better than you’- smirk that made Alex want to punch him. It looked good on him and Alex hated how good it looked on him.

Sure, he’s always known Thomas was attractive, but he had a soft spot for people who were good with kids and it didn’t help the stupid feelings he thought he’d suppressed well enough. God, the other man hated him, what was he even thinking?

He tried to let go of the thought as he set Philip down with all the stuff to keep him occupied as he got to work, hoping to get his proposal for the financial planning of the company done.

Philip reminded him to eat lunch, because he was hungry and he went to Angelica, because Philip wanted to see Auntie Angie. For Philip he would do anything, the little boy had him wrapped around his finger.

Angelica was more than happy to eat lunch with them and humored Philip when she listened to his explanation of his car story line until he got distracted by the coloring place mats they had at the restaurant.

Then she turned to Alex and asked: “How are you?”

“I’m doing good, Angie, really. This is not me not taking care of either of us, I swear,” he said, already knowing why she was asking and slightly annoyed, “The school canceled last minute and the babysitter couldn't come and everyone else was busy.”

“Just checking, ‘Lex. We know how hard it’s been since John passed, we just worry,” she soothed his ruffled feathers.

Alex sighed: “I know, I know. I still miss him, but it’s getting better.”

“How much better? Not to be rude, ‘Lex, but you’re wound up. You need to get laid,” she said bluntly.

“Angie!” he exclaimed, glancing at Philip, “There are children here.”

“Yes, and he’s been too focused on his drawing for the past five minutes to pay attention to us,” she rolled her eyes, “But I’m assuming that’s a no to the getting laid.”

“I’m too old for casual hook-ups, Angelica,” he told her, “If I’m going back into dating, I’m going to look for something serious. But no one is looking for a widower in his thirties with a five-year-old kid. And I can’t commit to someone who isn’t going to commit to Pip. He doesn’t need that.”

Angelica nodded: “You’re right, just try not to turn into a sad lonely old man.”

“Like you’re becoming a lonely old woman?” he teased.

“Alexander!” she swatted him lightly.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, you’re as radiant as ever, a beacon of beauty and youth,” he retracted his statement with a grin.

“That’s better,” she grinned back.

“Papa, I finished my drawing,” Philip interrupted the two adults, almost spilling his drink when he proudly held up his place mat.

Alex smiled: “That’s beautiful, Pip. Want to take it home tonight?”

“Oh, can I?” the boy asked.

“Of course, buddy,” Alex ruffled his hair, carefully putting the drawing in his briefcase with his other papers, so that he could hang it on the art wall.

They returned to the office and said their goodbyes to Angelica, before Alex got back to work.

It was quiet for a while, then Philip said: “Papa, I’m bored, can I walk around? I can go to Auntie Angie? I promise not to dis- dis- bother other people.”

“Disturb?” Alex asked.

Philip nodded that it was the right word, then asked: “Please, Papa. I promise I’ll be good. I know where Auntie Angie is and if I can’t find you I’ll go to Grandpa George after.”

The boy put on his best puppy eyes, which he had inherited from John, and Alex had never managed to say no to those eyes, so he relented: “Be back in an hour okay? That’s when that big arm is at the four, alright? Be sure to tell Auntie Angie.”

“Alright, Papa!” the boy said, already bouncing out his office with the pent up energy of a small child who had sat for nearly the entire day.

Alex smiled and watched him go. He contemplated getting up to check if Philip made it down the hall alright, but stopped himself.

A memory flashed through his minds eye of John holding a baby Philip and smirking: “You can’t always be there, ‘Lexi. You gotta let him be his own man at some point.”

“But he’s a baby,” he had protested at the time.

John had leaned forwards and kissed his nose: “But he won’t be forever, he’s gotta grow up just like you did. Ain’t nothing wrong with a bit of independence, sweetheart. Letting go is good at some point, just start small.”

He could let go.

Walking down the hall of the office to an adult he knew wasn’t the ultimate danger Philip would face, this was good. A small start just like John had said.

So, with reluctance he focused back on his work and easily got into the zone again as he did. It was easy to loose himself into his work. He was sure that if Philip hadn’t been there, he would have worked himself to death.

Meanwhile Philip walked down the hall, skipping and jumping just because he could and wanted to. He was really planning on visiting Auntie Angie, but he’d already seen her at lunch, so when he saw something more interesting, he stopped.

It was the Mister from before, Jeff- something, it was a long name and Philip hadn’t been paying attention, though he recalled it being a familiar name. He felt bad now, the man had seemed impressed with him.

Maybe he would want to play with him? But he’d promised Papa not to disturb the other people.

Apparently he’d been standing in the man’s doorway long enough for him to notice and ask him if he needed anything and where his Papa was.

“Papa said I could go walk around a bit,” he told the man, “My cars are on vacation and it’s a bit boring and I don’t feel like coloring. Do you like cats, Mister?”

It seemed the man was startled by his sudden change of topic, but he smiled easily and said: “You can call me Thomas.”

“Okay, Mr. Thomas,” Philip nodded, “Do you like cats?”

With Mr. Thomas not actively telling him to go away, Philip decided it was safe to enter the office and Mr. Thomas just pointed at a chair for him to sit in, so he did. He looked at Mr. Thomas awaiting his answer.

“Sure,” he said, “Why do you ask, kiddo?”

Philip shrugged: “Uncle Laf calls Papa petit lion and Uncle Herc explained to me that it’s a type of cat. Auntie Eliza and Auntie Maria wanteda cat, but Auntie Angie is allergic to them, so she doesn’t agree. But Grandpa George and Grandma Martha have cat, though Papa doesn’t like him very much, even though he likes other cats. So I wondered what you thought about cats.”

“Well, I think cats are nice,” Mr. Thomas said.

“Do have a cat?” Philip asked.

Thomas gave up any pretense of work, he hadn’t wanted to do anything anyway and the kid was way more interesting. He shook his head: “No, my friend, Jemmy, is allergic too and I like having him come to the house.”

“Can’t do that if there’s a cat,” Philip said, nodding his head sagely as if he had all the wisdom in the world.

“Yeah,” Thomas laughed at the display, then said: “I don’t know if sitting in my office is going to be very entertaining, kiddo. I don’t really have toys lying around.”

“That’s alright,” Philip said, “You’re Jeff-” he hummed trying to find the name, “Jefferson?” he suddenly remembered, but he didn’t sound very certain.

Thomas nodded: “Yeah, Thomas Jefferson. Why?”

“Papa talks about you lots,” Philip confided in him, recalling why the name was familiar, “He says you’re a meanie, but I think you’re nice, Mr. Thomas. I think Papa does too, he just don’t wanna say it. He says you’re smart, he only says that about Auntie Angie.”

God, the secrets this kid had from Alex ranting at him would be enormous, but Thomas wasn’t going to interrogate a kid about what his father thought of him. A small part of him, however, preened slightly at the indirect compliment from Hamilton.

He pushed the thought down, the man was married and had kids.

“I don’t know, kiddo. Me and your Papa are,” he hesitated, how do you tell a kid that the most talking you do with his father is yelling insults at each other, “We’re not the best buddies,” he finished lamely.

“That’s sad, I think you and Papa would get along greatly. I like you and Papa says I have good taste,” the kid sounded proud of that and Thomas couldn't help but smile, “I think you have good taste too, Mr. Thomas.”

“Really?” Thomas asked curiously.

“Yes, I like your flowers,” Philip pointed to the vase Thomas had filled on a whim, because he’d been sad a few days ago.

“Thanks, kiddo. They’re Canterburybells,” he said, then had a bright idea, “Hey, since you and I have such fantastic taste, why don’t you help me pick out the colors for my presentation? Then I can read you a story if you’d like. I got books.”

Philip lit up and bounced to the other side of the desk, already telling Thomas loudly about which colors were the bestest.

In the end the presentation was yellow and magenta (Thomas was going to have a field day with that) with neon green letters. It was disgusting to look at and Thomas knew he was going to keep and treasure it, especially because Alex couldn’t say anything of it.

He had mostly stuffy old literature on his shelves in the office, but there was also a fairy tale book for when he needed to calm down, not that anyone knew about that, and he read Philip the tale of Hansel and Gretel.

When they were done Philip asked for the time, saying: “Papa told me to be back in an hour, when the big arm was on the four.”

Thomas checked the time, it was five to four. He turned back to Philip: “Well, then young man, you must be going. Here, I’ll accompany you.”

The five-year-old didn’t seem to mind him tagging along as they walked down the hall to Hamilton’s office.

What Thomas hadn’t expected was for the office to be empty. The laptop wasn’t there and only papers and empty mugs scattered the desk. Thomas quickly glanced down to Philip, who looked confused as he asked: “Where’s Papa?”

“I don’t know, kiddo,” Thomas told him honestly, he spotted a phone on the desk and mentally cursed, if Hamilton had forgotten his kid and phone he was going to scream. Though it was highly unlikely the man would leave that early.

Then he spotted a note on the desk: Angie or Washington, I don’t know which one of you Pip will look for. I got called by fucking Lee for an emergency (I doubt it actually is, but you know how he gets, the prick). I’ll be back before five, please just watch him for me. I’m so sorry.

Relief coursed through Thomas’s veins that Alex had at least been responsible enough to leave a note.

He turned to Philip: “Hey, the note says your Papa has been called away for a bit.”

“Oh, okay,” Philip replied, “What do I do?”

Philip really was a smart kid, probably got it from his dad. Thomas smiled: “I don’t mind hanging out with you for a little bit longer, but maybe I could call your mom?”

It was an acceptable time to be done with work earlyand Thomas knew Lee was as much of a prick as Alex’s note had claimed, and the man hated Alex. Ifhe could keep him busy, he would, just because it would piss Alex off.

“I don’t have a mom,” Philip told him.

Thomas knew Alex was bi of course, but with the kid he’d made the assumption. He quickly adapted and said: “Do you have a dad then?”

Philip nodded and Thomas was about to ask if he knew how to contact him, trying to ignore the pang of jealousy, when the kid said: “But Papa said I can’t see Daddy, because he’s living with the angels now.”

Oh fuck, Thomas had not seen this coming and he was floundering.

“According to Papa, he didn’t mean to go, but he can’t get back to us. We visit his special place sometimes,” Philip was oblivious to all the emotions Thomas was experiencing, “There are a lot of stones there, but we always go to one with Daddy’s picture on it and Papa cries.”

That was probably much more than Alex wanted him to know. He briefly thought of Martha and how they’d never had kids. He didn’t know how he would have explained her death to them if they had.

“I’m sorry, kiddo,” he said instead, “Must be hard with one parent, though it seems your Papa loves you very much.”

“He does,” Philip smiled widely, “He takes me to the park on Saturdays and we run around. He teaches me about all sorts of stuff, like dinos. Do you know about dinos, Mr. Thomas?”

Thomas was glad for the change of topic and nodded: “I’ve heard of them, but I don’t know much. Why don’t you tell me more about them?”

“Well, they come from eggs. I did too, did you know? Papa said he froze eggs and I came crawling out, just like a dino,” Philip told him excitedly. Thomas was confused about what on earth that could mean, but just nodded along to the kid’s babbling.

An hour later Alex stomped into his office, grumbling under his breath about what an asshat Lee was.

He stopped at the empty office, he knew Philip must be with Angelica or Washington, but with the note still there, he didn’t know which one. He went back into the hallway and saw Washington walk by. Stopping the man he said: “Perfect timing. Is Pip with you? I got called away and told him to find you or Angie.”

“No, son, he must be with Miss Schuyler,” Washington smiled, “How was it with Lee?”

“Sir, if you don’t want a verbal essay, I suggest you don’t ask,” Alex sighed tiredly. He just wanted to go home and sleep.

Washington chuckled then stepped into his office as Alex made his way over to Angelica’s office, he knocked on her door and opened it with a: “Hi, Angie, I’ll take Philip now, thanks for watching him.”

Angelica looked up from her work with confusion: “Philip? I haven’t seen Philip since lunch, Alex. What are you talking about.”

The blood in his veins turned to ice as he said: “But, he was going to you. He said he wanted to say hi. He’d be back by four, but I got called away. I left you a note. Are you sure you didn’t see him?”

“No, I wouldn’t lie about that,” Angelica said, “Why didn’t you walk with him?”

Alex was already beating himself up over it: “Fuck, I’m so stupid. I thought he would be fine, that I should let him go, be independent. I’m a terrible father and now something might have happened to Pip. God, what if he’s dead?”

“Hey, none of that, calm down, just breathe,” Angelica put her hand on his shoulder, “He probably got distracted. He’s still around, I’m sure. Someone else must have seen him.”

They got distracted by a southern voice floating down the hall: “Hamilton, there you are. I was wondering if I should start charging hours.”

“Papa!” Philip yelled excitedly, running up to his Papa, who crushed him into a tight hug with a sigh of relief.

“There you are. Pip, I was so worried. You said you were going to Auntie Angie,” he scolded the boy, “Don’t scare me like that again. I thought something had happened.”

“Sorry, Papa,” Philip sounded genuinely upset.

“It’s okay, baby, it’s okay. Papa didn’t mean to make you upset, I was just worried,” after soothing his son, he turned to Thomas and glared, “Do you often kidnap children?”

Thomas looked up shocked and in an offend voice replied: “Excuse you? I didn’t kidnap him. He showed up to my office telling me he was allowed to walk around. He asked me about cats and I just made sure he was okay. You should be thanking me, it could have gone a lot worse.”

Alex eyed him suspiciously, but was distracted by Philip: “He’s right, he listened to me back at the room with the table and I was just wondering what he thought of cats, then he let me help with his presentation and read me a story and then I told him about the dinos.”

“I know we have our disagreements, Hamilton, but I’m not going to be an as- meanie to a kid,” he said.

“Nice save,” Angelica smirked.

“Oh shove off, Angelica,” Thomas rolled his eyes good-naturedly, he liked the eldest Schuyler. He had met her a long time ago, back when Martha was still there.

Alex checked over Philip one more time, before begrudgingly acknowledging that Thomas had done him a favor. So, he said: “Thank you, Jefferson. For making sure Pip was alright.”

“No worries, man. I have a lot of siblings,” Thomas shrugged.

Angelica looked between them and smirked, before saying: “Here, I’ll go grab your stuff, ‘Lex. You and Thomas make sure you’re on the same page about this. I don’t want to have you screaming because of a misunderstanding, you do it enough without them.”

Philip walked off happily with his Auntie Angie, leaving Alex and Thomas on their own.

“Did he behave well?” Alex asked, breaking the silence.

Thomas looked confused for a moment, then smirked: “Yeah, he’s a sweet boy. Certainly didn’t get that from you.”

Alex chuckled: “No, he got every good bone in his body from John,” his smile was far away and soft, before he shookhimself out of it, “I’m glad you listened to him, he’s a good kid.”

“No problem, really,” Thomas shrugged.

It was quiet for a moment.

“Can I ask why he thinks he crawled out of an egg like a dinosaur?” Thomas asked, unable to help himself. He was just too curious and it was weird for a kid to think that. He just wanted to know what an earth Alex had told the boy.

The random question startled Alex, who laughed after a second. He explained: “Kids at school were asking how he could have two dads, so I told them that I froze some of my eggs and his other Daddy made sure they would work, before Auntie Eliza hatched him. I compared it to dinosaurs because he understands them and thinks they’re cool. I guess he only picked up some parts.”

“So, he’s not related to the Schuyler's?” Thomas asked, then elaborated, “Just with the whole Auntie Angie and Auntie Eliza he was talking about, I assumed his other parent was one of their sibling hoard.”

“No,” Alex said, “He’s completely mine and Johns.”

It was quiet for a beat, then Thomas said: “I didn’t know you were trans.”

Alex shrugged: “It’s not really something I tell people, especially with how they start calling me a mother, no thanks. Besides, it’s none of their business anyway. Philip is mine and they can keep their opinions of my parenting to themselves.”

Thomas nodded: “That makes sense. For what it’s worth, you’re a great dad. Philip is lucky to have you. I know you didn’t want me to know, probably, but he told me his other dad was living with angels. I’m sorry for your loss.”

“I don’t need your pity,” Alex bit out after a hard swallow. He didn’t need Thomas treating him differently just because his husband was dead, he got that enough as it was. He missed John dearly, but he was healing and the special treatment just made it harder.

He was surprised by Thomas’s reply: “I’m not pitying you, Alex. I just wanted you to know that he told me and that you can talk to me.”

“That’s-” Alex hesitated, slightly confused, “That’s… nice? I suppose. But you’re not really my first confidant.”

“I know,” Thomas shrugged, he seemed to be preparing himself for something, “I just know how some people don’t get it and it can be annoying, so if you ever just wanna talk, please do,” he pulled out a necklace from his shirt, on it were two golden bands, “I’m not messing with you, or pitying you.”

“I didn’t know,” Alex mumbled, feeling a bit sheepish for his earlier reaction, “How- How long ago?”

“Seven years,” Thomas answered, “Martha- she was the best, but she had heart problems. I knew we didn’t have long, but it still hurt. She was just too young.”

There were tears in his eyes and Alex could feel himself tearing up as well. He said: “The better ones always die first somehow, fuck. John- John died four years ago. Wanted to do one last tour, before settling down. They were already retreating when-”

He couldn't finish the sentence, but Thomas understood. It was weird how much it made sense that Thomas understood.

They’d always been each others equal. Both in debate and passion. They knew how to push the other and got why. They were the same, just different, so of course Thomas of all people would understand.

Both stood there in silence, tears still in their eyes, but content to just stand there.

At that point Angelica came back with Philip. She was about to start a sentence when she saw the state they were in: “Jesus, are you two alright? I swear, I leave you for a few minutes and-”

“We’re fine, Angie,” Alex quickly wiped away his tears and attempted a smile.

Philip ran up to him and with his arms demanded to be carried. When Alex obliged he asked: “Are you okay, Papa?”

“Yeah, Pip, Papa’s fine,” Alex assured him, “Remember how I told you about the missing sad. It was that.”

“Like when I can’t see Sockie at school and I miss him, right?” Philip asked.

“Exactly that, Pip,” Alex agreed, “Now, what do you say about going home, buddy? Does that sound alright? We can watch Moana.”

“I love Moana!” Philip chirped.

Alex turned to Angelica and Thomas and said: “We’re gonna go. Uhm, thank you both and, uh, I might take you up on that, Thomas. Now say bye, Pip.”

“Bye Auntie Angie, bye Mr. Thomas,” Philip said with a wave, a quick yawn escaping him after all the excitement as he burrowed closer into his Papa’s arms while they walked out of the building.

When they were gone, Angelica turned to Thomas with a raised brow: “So, Mr. Thomas,” she put extra emphasis on the name, “You’ve got yourself a social upgrade.”

“Shut up, I should have never told you about that stupid crush,” Thomas hid his head in his hands.

“I think you two would be cute together,” Angelica said, then she asked: “Why were you two crying, by the way? Are you okay?”

He put the necklace back and said: “I told him about Martha, seemed fair after the kid told me about John. I didn’t know Alex was a widower, nor that he had kids.”

“Yeah, ‘Lex used to love bragging about John and Philip, but ever since-” she sighed, “Well, you know. He hasn’t been the same.”

“I don’t think anyone can stay the same after living through that,” Thomas told her, “I was always saddened I had no kids with Martha, but after today. Fuck, I don’t know what I would have told them. I don’t think I could have handled it.”

Angelica shrugged: “It’s different for everyone, I think Philip saved ‘Lex’s life. He got up each day to care for him. Don’t tell him I told you that, I will slap you again.”

“I won’t, I swear,” Thomas held his hands up in surrender and luckily Angelica believed him, because she smiled: “Good, I know where you live.”

“You are terrifying,” he informed her.

“That’s why we’re such good friends,” she merely smiled, “Now, let’s go, you still owe me dinner for giving you private time with Papa Alex.”

Thomas flushed a bright red and told her he hated her, before following her out of the building as she cackled at his misery.

After that things went back to normal.

Mostly.

Somewhere he had imagined the interaction would be some revelation or something and the next day would be completely different.

But it just wasn’t.

They had a meeting in the morning, it was the first time they saw each other that day and within minutes it had turned into an argument.

Though, perhaps the arguments had gotten less personal. They had always thrown in slight digs at the other, believing themselves to know the man before them and judging the person they’d built in their mind, but when that fell away, it was hard to make digs at someone who understood.

So work returned to normal, with arguments echoing through the halls, which were now followed by civil conversation as they walked to their offices.

It was only a month later that it changed.

You know, this fic is getting much bigger than expected and has gotten severely out of hand. It was meant to be a cute Philip at work fic, but then I thought about past John/Alex (and not fucking Eliza over bc I love her too much for it) and now it hasturnedinto a gigantic angst pile turning fluffwith a slow burn thrown in there, something I have never written before, but I’m having fun.

#RR writing #Hamilton #alexander hamilton #philip hamilton #thomas jefferson #jamilton #Hamilton AU #angelica schuyler #george washington #'Till Death Do Us Part #'Till Death Do Us Part AU #'Till Death Do Us Part Part 1

20 notes · View notes

ithebookhoarder · 3 years

Note

Hey! I love your story the gangsters daughter SO much and I was wondering if I could request something based on it?

Where it’s the night before Evie’s wedding and she goes to Tommy’s office to talk as she’s nervous and they have a fluffy moment where he doesn’t think he’s ready for her to get married! ☺️

Cold Feet (Parent!Tommy Shelby x Evie)

A/N: Ok ok ok. First of all anon, how dare you be so fluffing cute?! And second, OF COURSE YOU CAN! I love Evie and I’m always looking for excuses to write for my baby. Also, I’m totally not crying at the thought of Tommy having to let his little girl go and get married and just wanting her to be happy... I just have something in my eye.

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of alcohol, mentions of smoking. Let me know if I missed anything.

Masterlist:

Tommy had always known this day would come.

It was as inevitable as death was for every single living thing on this planet.

No matter how hard he’d prayed that he’d have just a little more time left, his luck had finally run out. There was no delaying it any longer now that the day was almost upon him when his life would change in a way that would alter his world forever.

It was tomorrow, in fact, that Tommy would see Evie shed the Shelby name for another.

True, he could not have chosen a more worthy candidate, and knew Toby would love Evie as she deserved to be loved. That didn't lessen the sting it caused though, to know his days as the only male in her life were now over. Soon, she would no longer be his, no longer living in the same house as him. She would be a married woman, and that filled Tommy with incredible joy, and incredible sorrow at the same time.

This was the curse of fathers.

It seemed only yesterday that she was small enough to not even care about boys, let alone marriage. He remembered a particular conversation with fondness, when Evie had only been with them a few months or so.

It had been in the wake of a row over Ada’s most recent conquest at the time. An annoying boy, Liam had only lasted three dates before being scared off by Arthur, John, and Tommy. Despite being nothing particularly special, Ada had been incredibly enraged, yelling about how she wanted to marry him and that she’d never find love again.

Of course, Evie had found the whole thing hilarious, if not a little confusing. Hence, when she’d sat up in bed that night, as Tommy passed by her room one final time, he couldn’t help but smile at her quizzical expression.

“But, Dad. If she loves him what’s wrong with that? Besides, Mum had a baby on her own… if Ada did end up pregnant would it really be so horrible? She’d have a child, like me, and you all warmed up to me pretty quickly.”

“Well,” Tommy had begun, trying not to laugh at the absurdity of this discussion with his only recently recovered twelve-year old daughter. Polly was always far better at talking about this kind of stuff. “It’s… you see… people tend to only have children when they’re married.”

“Why?”

“It’s just how things are done.”

“Well, that’s stupid.”

Tommy smirked. “Most people would agree with you, but a lot don’t. They can be horrible and cruel, even to women who were in love but weren’t married when they had a kid. So, we’re trying to spare Ada from that. It’s fucking complicated, but at the end of the day, she deserves to be happy, doesn’t she?”

“Yes,” Evie sighed, suddenly staring down at her bedsheets nervously. “But… does that mean Auntie Martha was right? That I have to get married when I grow up? But Dad, the only boys I like are you… and my uncles… I don’t suppose I could marry one of them?”

Tommy immediately bit back his laughter as he shook his head and held her close. “I’m afraid Martha would object to you marrying our John. Besides, you don’t want one of us old men when you can find someone young and handsome who you love very much.”

“But how will I know who that is? Or if they’re good or not?” she asked innocently.

“I’ll help you,” Tommy offered, not without a little hesitation. To even think such a time would exist, when he would have to part with his daughter, when he’d only just found her again… “You can depend on it. Any unworthy bastards will be driven away by me, and the hounds.”

At that Evie spluttered into laughter, before pressing a kiss to her father’s cheek. “Now that, I would pay to see.”

Well, that day had come and gone and Tommy hadn’t released any hounds. No. The only hound in sight was Cyril, and he’d warmed incredibly quickly to the new member of the family.

He hadn’t been the only one either. In fact, Tommy had rolled out the red fucking carpet, welcoming the man into the family. Sure, it hadn’t been without its challenges along the way, but as much as Tommy hated to admit it, Toby was a good man. More than that, he’d proved his loyalty to the family, and to Evie, over and over again.

If he had to part with Evie to anyone, then at least it was to someone as decent as Toby. It made the whole ordeal hurt just a little less as he sipped his whiskey and stared out of the study window.

Despite the late hour, there were still faint laughs and shrieks of delight echoing from upstairs. Ada, Lara, Polly and Lizzie were most likely to blame, having taken charge of Evie’s so called ‘last night of freedom’. Tommy didn’t know what that entailed exactly and he didn’t even want to try and guess. Not given how much champagne they’d lugged upstairs with them earlier, having returned from a busy evening dancing at a local club.

If they weren’t all hungover as hell in the morning it would be a minor miracle.

Still, as long as they got their asses to church on time and didn’t throw up on the minister, then everything would be fine. No. It would be perfect. Tommy had promised Evie that much and he’d be damned before he failed to deliver a promise as solemn as this one.

She’d done the same for him, twice in fact, even if his union to Lizzie had been a far simpler affair than his first marriage to Grace.

At least Evie hadn’t insisted on there being a ‘father of the bride’ toast - even if Ada had… Somehow, Tommy knew his would never be anywhere as good as the ones his daughter had given.

She always had had a way with words.

“Dad?”

Tommy froze.

Speak of the devil and she shall appear.

He was startled by the sound of her voice, echoing from the open doorway, as if summoned by his worry. He’d almost thought he’d imagined it until he turned and saw her standing there, looking a little worse for wear in her finery.

Apparently he’d been right; she’d had a very fun evening.

“Evie?” he blinked, clearing his throat as he tried to compose himself. “What are you doing down here? It’s late and I thought you’d be upstairs celebrating a bit longer. Big day tomorrow.”

Evie smiled, shrugging as she stepped into the office and closed the door behind her. She knew she never needed an invitation, having given up knocking long ago.

“I was but… I don’t know. I just wanted to come and see you, if that’s alright?”

It would always be alright. Tommy hoped she knew that, even if the anxiety in her eyes said otherwise. Then again, he suspected the nervous energy wasn’t directly aimed at him.

Over a decade later, he knew his daughter better than he knew himself. It was why he nodded, gesturing to the seat next to him in a clear invitation. “Of course it is, but won’t the others miss you?”

“Oh, they’re all too busy finishing the last of the wine to miss me right away and… I don’t know why but I needed a minute away from everything. It was all a bit… much.”

“Yeah, well, welcome to my world. This family has always been a bit much,” Tommy teased. That was why they both loved them though. The Shelby spirit was strong and made them who they were. They wouldn’t change it for the world, even if it did drive them nuts on occasion.

And Toby was willingly entering this family, why?

“I’m almost scared to ask what’s being going on up there.”

“Probably wise, Dad. No one should see thing things I have tonight.”

“I thought so.”

A laugh escaped Evie’s lips as she sat beside him, accepting the glass of whiskey he handed her without a second thought. It was simply routine by this point, the two of them caught in a silent routine on nights like this when they needed to simply clear their heads and think.

It was an unwritten agreement between the pair of them. As was the somewhat confessional nature this room had taken on in its time under the Shelby household. So much had happened since they’d first moved in to Arrow House, from Charles and Ruby being born, to losing Grace, to Evie falling in love, Tommy’s ascension to Parliament, losing John and Esme, Lizzie and Tommy’s wedding…

Only a decade or so, and yet Evie felt like a whole novel would never be enough to capture her family’s history or the almost surreal events that had taken place.

“Besides, it’s been a while since we had a talk like this, Dad,” Evie continued, shrugging as she sipped her drink and stared at the room. “Everything’s been happening so fast since Toby proposed. It feels like we haven’t had a moment to breathe, really. You’ve been so helpful, agreeing to everything and allowing us to turn this place upside down. I can’t thank you enough for that, by the way. I half expected you to be like Arthur yelling at the florist earlier.”

“It’s the least I can do, Evie. It’s not every day my daughter gets married - and he yelled so I didn’t have to. Fucking trying to sneak carnations in when the order clearly said Clematis with the centrepieces.”

Evie snorted, failing to hide the fact hearing Tommy Shelby raging about flowers was possibly the funniest thing to have ever happened. Ever. Good thing he hadn’t been there when someone had accidentally delivered the wrong amount of chairs for the tent erected out on the lawn. She could only imagine the carnage that would have occurred.

“My knight in shining armour.”

“Always. No ring changes that, Evie. I’ll always be there for you, whether it be to fend off blind florists or worse.”

Despite the fact he acted as if he was merely joking, Evie knew her father meant each and every word. He always had. Even with their ups and downs, he had never abandoned her, always trying to do what was best for her, even if he went about it the wrong way from time to time.

When she thought back now, to the day she’d first met him in that graveyard, on what had been one of the darkest days of her life, she wished she could tell her younger self not to be afraid. To not be angry or scared of the future before her and the wondrous people that would be in it, thanks to the wonderful man she got to call her father.

“Dad, can… can I ask you a question? About tomorrow?”

Tommy hummed softly. “I don’t know what I can tell you about weddings, but fine. Of course.”

“It’s not about the wedding per say, more the bit after. I just… I’m scared, Dad. I don’t know why but I am.”

The words made Tommy’s heart plummet before he’d even realised what she’d said. It took everything in him not to panic or try and express the pain he felt at the idea his daughter was scared about what was supposed to be a happy day - a happy and expensive one, even if Tobias had money enough to cover a lot of the costs.

“Of what?”

“I don’t know,” Evie whispered, almost as if ashamed to confess it. “I’m so happy and excited to start the life together Toby and I have talked about for years but, now that it’s here? I don’t know. I just … I feel like I’m going to throw up or pass out and I don’t know why. Is something wrong with me? Who gets terrified of their own wedding?”

“Every fucking sane person on the planet,” Tommy countered swiftly, a hand reaching out to take hers. “As someone with experience here, you can trust me when I say everyone gets scared, Evie. Everyone. No matter how certain you are that you love the person or that this is the right next step.”

“But why?”

“Because it’s a big commitment,” Tommy continued, “and it’s a new chapter in your life. That’s exciting but also terrifying. To know you have a chance to start a family of your own? To choose your own path? That’s nothing to take lightly, and if I didn’t think you wanted this, or that you weren’t ready, I would have said something before now. You can count on that.”

He had a point.

“And I know you, Evelyn Shelby. You have never let anything or anyone stop you from going after what you want, even if it’s scary or someone says no. If being with Tobias is what you want, then so be it. You’re a grown woman, as much as I fucking hate to admit it. I think you’ve proven over and over again that you’re the bravest one out of the lot of us, and I’m so proud of you. Your Mother would be too. She’d want you to be happy and to enjoy tomorrow for what it is: the start of another chapter in your incredible life.”

The thought of her absence was enough to make Evie’s eyes sting with tears, as was the conviction with which her father spoke about her. The pride was clear, even if he looked a little scared himself at what tomorrow would bring for them all.

“Thank you.”

Tommy nodded, knowing better than to argue as she threw herself at him, coiling herself around him as she often did. Ever since the first time she’d done it, he’d been unable to resist it. So what? His daughter’s embrace was one of the few in the world that made him feel loved. It was as if her presence alone was enough to restore him, to banish whatever was troubling him.

The thought he wouldn’t just be able to have such hugs so frequently made his heart ache even more.

He didn’t want her to go.

In his eyes, she was still the twelve-year-old girl he’d first met. She always would be, no matter how much she insisted on growing up and being a so called ‘adult’. It was why he planned on keeping her room upstairs exactly as it was now, just in the case she ever needed or even wanted it.

That, and because he physically couldn’t bear to erase any remaining traces of her from his home. Of course, Lizzie had teased him rotten about it, even if she understood. Still young, Lizzie hated the thought of Ruby ever growing up and leaving her for anyone - let alone a husband.

At least they had some time left before that would be happening. Tommy didn’t know if he could survive anymore heartache so soon.

“I love you, so much, Evie,” Tommy whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of her head and holding her close. “You’ll always be my little girl, and you’ll always be welcome here. Anytime, day or night. This will still be your home, and we’ll still be your family. If anything, we’re simply gaining more members, not losing any. Understand?”

“Yes,” Evie nodded, wiping her eyes as she shot him a watery smile. “I love you too, Dad, even if I swear I’m supposed to be the one telling you all this. Isn’t it normally the father of the bride who’s supposed to get all teary eyed and jittery the night before?”

“We’ve never been conventional, Evie. In case you forgot, we have politicians, the Lee branch of the family, and Alfie fucking Solomons all coming tomorrow, for fucks sake. Why should we start worrying about tradition now?”

Evie’s laughter was infectious at the picture of the eclectic scene awaiting them, especially considering how excited Alfie had been at the prospect of attending a Shelby wedding. Oh, Arthur was going to explode at the sight of the Jewish gangster sat in all his finery. That, and when he saw the huge gift he had been promising her for weeks now.

She couldn’t wait.

“True. Well, traditional or not, I’m so grateful for the life we have, Dad. I’ll never be able to tell you how grateful I am that you were the person who showed up at that graveyard,” she confessed. “There’s no one else in the whole world I want to be my side tomorrow. You’ll still walk me down the aisle, right?”

Tommy beamed. “How can you ask that, Evelyn Shelby? I’ve always been right beside you and tomorrow is no different. Wild horses couldn’t stop me.”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me,” Tommy whispered, “simply enjoy yourself and let me and the others take care of the rest. That’s all the thanks we need… and maybe call once in a while, just so I know you’re alright.”

Evie laughed, knowing she would probably still end up here most of the time anyway after she was married. But she agreed, pleased to put his mind at rest as well as he’d put her own. “I really do love you, Dad.”

“And I love you too, Evie. Always.”

25 notes · View notes

castle-dominion · 1 year

Text

c1x3 (technically 1x2? 1x4?) hell hath no fury

Coffee is just like that. He's present during paperwork for once. She's so pretty & looks so good in red & totally deserves to have that short hair. She looked so much better in the earlier seasons & now she's just some lady.

RC: No. Hiding would be building a fortress out of my comforter and then downing a fifth of Scotch, but apparently that's considered unhealthy.

Was THAT espt's voice? Woah. Lol two gay bois moving in together already huh.

KR: Dead guy in a rug. Naturally, we thought of you. JE: Ye Both: : ) uwu

Already jinxing <3

Castle just taking photos

Ok so ik I talk abt the outfits a lot but I love castle's scarf & beckett's coat & rysposito have swapped clothing

Hey, I'm a wise-ass, not a jackass.

Martha <3

I don't care about what people think... much.

Oh yeah even where I live we do roadkill furniture & gear.

[06:00, EXT. ALLEYWAY - DAY] Esposito and Ryan in a dumpster digging through the garbage. They are wearing coveralls to protect their clothing.

ESPOSITO I don't care if it was free. Even if you pay me, I'm still not gonna take that rug.

RYAN You tell me you've lived in New York your whole life, and you never scored a piece of road kill?

ESPOSITO "Road kill?"

RYAN It's an accepted practice, bro. You're done with your old stuff, you leave it on the street for those less fortunate. (waving a (still yellow) banana peel back & forth.) Artists, students, former hedge fund managers. It's trickle-down economics at its finest.

ESPOSITO Yeah, well, I prefer not to be trickled on.

RYAN :D You know that red couch I have? The one you like so much?

ESPOSITO 0n0 Don't you say it, bro.

RYAN 54th and Lex.

ESPOSITO That's gross. Gross. (Ryan laughing.) We are never playing Madden at your place again. (& I was wondering where the fanfictions learned this tidbit. Now I know.)

Btw you DO need to be careful. Dumpster diving is great but u don't want to end up with silverfish. (Happened at my church youth group.) (source: https://scriptline.livejournal.com/18193.html)

Bro never SAID he didn't, never said ANYTHING implying he didn't. He just said that the information wasn't a guarantee that he DID.

RC: Promise not to hate me. KB: I already hate you. RC: Fair enough.

Well, not exactly a friend. She's my interior decorator. But then we slept together, so I don't really know what she is now. WHAT Castle is the one who's kind of slutty, not nikki heat

Creason: *gagging on the coffee, shaking his head wildly* RC: I feel you, man.

KB: Hey, Esposito! JE: Ya? KB: See what you can find on that rug. If one went missing, what room it's from, and maybe who had access. JE: Yeh. KB: Thanks JE, to Ryan who is standing there on his phone: Road trip. RC: You're very good at bossing men around. KB: RC: I've noticed

RC, Through The Glass: You are so lame! You're Lamey McLamester! You're so la-la-la-la-lame!

JB: Mr. Bollinger's my father. Call me Jason. Me: Penis minivan lesbian was my father. Please, call me dick van dyke.

Lol councilman horny

lmao ryan in the background trying to give a gal his number & then he sends poor ryan after the drunk folks peeing in the flower pot & he goes to give the fellow his number even tho she already said she had a bf (well she said it to ryan).

Idk whether to laugh or get offended bc I'm no swerf:

Esposito, Ryan, Castle, and a couple other guys look over the prostitutes' website.

JE Damn! Those are some seriously fine five-star class-B misdemeanors. (XD)

KR: Dude, between you and me, you ever pay for it?

RC: Are you counting my marriages? (XD) KR: *one huff of laughter*

[Ryan clicks to a new page]

RC: Wait, stop! That's the girl in the photos. (See? Police work.)

KR: *sigh* Look at her. If I had your money...

[Beckett approaches and the other two guys takes off] KB: This isn't phone sex, Ryan. You don't just pay for the two minutes that you used.

JE: *Laughs*

Or you could just do it the easy way. (I love the way ryan is just looking back & forth between them & Espt just kinda looks up at beckett before awkwardly watching castle eyebrows HIGH, then beckett goes to hit him w her files; & then rysposito just turn to watch all smiley as she chases him down) No, no, no , no, no. You're the police. I'm just a lonely upscale gentleman looking for a date. Bet I find her first.

We all thought the pro was already there.

Beckett staring at him mad, Espt staring at him (eyebrows down but) interested, & Ryan staring at the box confused. RC: Yeah, just put it right over there. Perfect. Lift with your knees, man. Stay here for one second, would you? Because you guys have been so wonderfully hospitable to me, I just want to return the favor. And because your coffee is basically crap, I got you an espresso machine! How cool is that? Ryan looks at the coffee cup (which he is holding weird, point for the adhd ryan hc), espt is smilin & becks is just unimpressed

Goggles don't help like that but thanks.

Alexis <3 Martha <3

Firefly moments DX

I love Lanie & Kate. LP: Damn girl, you scared me. KB: Lanie, you're surrounded by corpses. LP: Yeah, I don't expect the living after seven o'clock. (So hearing someone talking is a shock.) KB: Funny. Neither do I. LP: I'm an M.E. What's your excuse? KB: Oh, don't be mean. LP: You deserve it. Getting a drink with me after work instead of getting your freak on with writer-boy? KB: Yeah, well, he is annoying, self-centered, egotistical, and completely-- LP: Fun? KB: LP: And take it from me, girlfriend, you need some fun. (Beckett's phone rings) LP: I mean, how bad can he be? KB, on the phone: Beckett. RC: Guess who's got a date with a prostitute! KB: *arms out in defeat*

He is a gentleman. Heck yeah, treat your escort with respect or whatever. True, big thing. Sex is a way to feel connected & men* typically feel more emotionally comfy if they are having sex with that person. Women* typically need the emotional connection to feel comfy enough for sex. Supposedly that's why marriages fail. Men* aren't getting the sex to feel emotionally safe & women* aren't getting the emotional connection to have sex. (*generalizations, probably cishet, etc)

Ryan looks almost normal rn, wearing that shirt & tie. Castle with his sweater today instead of his typical attire. Them all talking about the coffee.

RM: My three-year-old son could come up with a better story than that. Follow the money. Kirby: Hey! Hey! Can I go home now?

"Detective, with all due respect, there's no way in hell I'm helping you start a witch hunt against our top supporters. Now, you want to go through our campaign contributors? Fine. That's a matter of public record. But anything else and you're on your own." I mean he's right

RC: Hey. Finished your homework? AC: Yeah. RC: You want to finish mine? AC: Well, that depends. How much you offering to pay me? RC: Oh, I taught you well.

Kate just doesn't want to be seen appreciating castle's presence as a point of principal.

I figured it out. I knew it was the hair but I finally see where it is changed. I recently saw the 3xk sequel in s4 & Ryan with his "hello fellow kids" look. His hair is too far down. It is not brushed up away from his face, it is slightly curly & falling a little bit down. Plus, the lighting or makeup design has his lips lookin like mine did in japan. (The kids there had an app with filters but I was white so it made my lips way too bright.)

She has a right to see the warrant my dudes. U can't just waltz in there.

Ryan, flipping open his badge all prettylike: Stop running, bro. Campaign's over.

RM: Nice work. Very impressive. *Walking away* Oh, and uh, you, too, Beckett. KB: Sir??? RM: Just yanking your chain, Detective. Just yanking your chain.

Castle does readings like this, they could record it for esposito. (A point for an adhd esposito headcanon except u'r not allowed to be in the military if u have adhd, lucky for me.) (I remember in the pilot he asked for tapes. & then throughout the rest of s1 we can see ryan starting to get into castle's books.)

#castle 1x3 #castle 1x3 spoilers #castle 1x3 quote

1 note · View note

chilling-in-the-dark · 4 years

Text

The Batboys Growing Up as Yandere’s Part 5: Damian Wayne

This is a yandere story; it mentions elements of obsession, possessiveness, death, murder, and kidnapping. If any of this is triggering for you, I understand, and you don’t have to read it.

As always, feedback is welcomed.

Tim had moved out by the time Bruce found out about Damian; in fact, Tim had left as soon as his girlfriend returned his affections.

When Damian Wayne was still Damian Al Ghul, he’d always been told that caring too much for anyone was a weakness, that it would get him killed. So, he couldn’t understand why his father, the great Batman held on so tightly to his wife. Damian doubted that the woman whom he refused to call a Wayne, because that right should have been reserved for his mother, could even defend herself properly. Damian would have killed her in the early days if he thought he could have gotten away with it.

Though Mrs. Wayne’s patience and constant care slowly wore down his walls, and then he started to envy his father. Yet at the same time, Damian didn’t think he deserved someone; he was a demon who’d killed people. Yet, at the same time, he craved love, Damian yearned for soft touches and sweet smiles.

It was the summer before his freshman year of high school when he’d made a dumb mistake, one his mother would have killed him for, and when the villain he’d been fighting used it to their advantage, he’d barely managed to get away with his life.

It had surprised you to find Robin bleeding out on your fire escape. Against your better judgment, you took him inside and tended to his wounds as best you could, glad your mother was rarely home since her and your stepfather’s messy divorce, you think after six of them she’d learn to cope better.

Damian woke several hours later to find an angel leaning over him; for half a second, he wondered if he’d died. Damian corrected himself; if he died, he certainly wasn’t going to meet an angel. Also, he probably wouldn’t feel like he’d just been given the beating of a lifetime.

“Oh, thank god your alive,” you spoke, relief flooding your voice. You’d done your best to stop the bleeding, but a lot of his wounds looked like they needed stitches, something you weren’t capable of.

Once Damian came to as much as his blood loss would let him, he felt his face, relieved to find his angel had left the mask in place. Robin didn’t speak much until Batman arrived, but then as he was carried out by his father, you could have sworn you heard, “Thank you,” fall faintly from the boy’s lips.

You didn’t know it, but you’d come to regret the night you’d saved a Robin from certain death.

It wasn’t a month later your mother came into your bedroom, demanding to know why you had a letter from Gotham Academy. “So, help me, you better not have applied I told you we can’t afford this and don’t you dare bring up scholarships, those don’t cover uniforms or books.” She’d spent the better part of an hour yelling, not letting you get a word in edgewise, so you couldn’t tell her that you hadn’t applied. Finally, she thrust the envelope onto your dresser and left.

You knew it was probably a scam, but you opened the envelope anyway, only to find a letter about being awarded a full Martha Wayne Foundation scholarship, it supposedly covered every expense necessary to attend. You decided that you’d look up the school’s number and call them in the morning. At worst, you’d end up embarrassed, but if this letter was real, you might have a shot at a future.

It had taken more strength then Damian thought he possessed, to keep him from killing your mother, as he watched the live feed from the security camera he’d installed in your bedroom. Damian had only put them in there because he wanted to keep you safe, but sometimes he couldn’t help himself; he wanted to see how his beloved was doing.

He’d been happy to see you on the first day of school. Actually, he’d gotten to see you before class even started. Your bike tires being several years older than you, had finally given out, and of course, it had started raining of all things.

You’d been cautious when the town car came to a stop beside you, even more so when you saw the back window rolled down to reveal Damian Wayne, but the boy had somehow managed to get you into the car with him. While he’d been rough around the edges, Damian had managed to come off as sweet and charming. It hadn’t been hard something about your presence soothed him, made it easy to let out emotions he usually kept bottled up.

He’d spent the day by your side, and for the first time in a long time, Damian felt at peace; in his eyes, you truly were an angel sent down to save his soul. Damian was convinced that meeting you was fate, that some higher being was giving him a chance, someone to love and that maybe if he did it right and kept you safe, it might make up for his sins.

You were sixteen when Damian had finally asked you out, you’d been happy, how could you not be, your crush liked you back, You’d gushed on the phone to your friends for hours afterword, they were dumbfounded that you hadn’t realized how in love with you the boy was, “He calls you Beloved for peat’s sake, of course, he’s in love with you.”

To you, this was a new relationship, but to Damian, it had been formalizing what he already knew to be true. You were his, and that class ring on your finger would prove it until a wedding ring could take its place.

That time would come on your graduation day when Damian had just finished his valedictorian speech when he knelt in front of you and pulled out a small black box. You knew what was in it before he’d even had a chance to open it and reveal his family’s heirloom engagement ring. Mrs. Wayne must have given it to him.

You’d cried happy tears as he put the ring on your finger, once that was done Damian leaned in to kiss you while ignoring the clicking of cameras. Despite what many think, Damian loved PDA because it let the entire world know whose protection you were under. You wanted the wedding to wait until after college, much to Damian’s dismay, but he’d begrudgingly accepted your choice. Though to Damian’s satisfaction, the wedding came a lot sooner than you’d planned.

You’d been attending Gotham university for a few months now and had been loving it, that is until you spent longer then you’d planned in the library. You knew Damian would want you to call him so he could come and get you, but you knew he was on patrol, and while you didn’t like the idea of walking in Gotham after dark, you’d walked home at night before and never had an issue.

Tonight though, a mugger had pulled you into a dark alley and pointed a gun at your face demanding all your valuables. You’d relented giving the man everything you had on you, but you’d forgotten to give him your ring. You loved the ring, and it was a Wayne family heirloom, but you knew it wasn’t worth your life, so when the man slapped you and demanded you give it up. You instantly started working the ring off your finger.

Just as you’d slipped it from your hand, Robin showed up and started whaling on the guy. You’d never seen Damian so vicious before, but he’d refrained from killing the man in your presence, not wanting you to see death. An angel should never have to see such darkness, no that was reserved for a demon like him, so Damian slipped a tracker on the unconscious man and took you to the manor. Once he’d managed to calm you down enough to sleep, he’d go back out and finish the job.

Damian had used the incident to convince you to marry him sooner, playing up how short life could be and asking you what the point in waiting was. The next day the two of you applied for a marriage license, and during New Jersey’s mandatory three-day waiting period Alfred and the other Wayne wives planned and organized the whole wedding. It was a small and intimate affair, but lovely none the less, everything had been perfect.

Until the next day, that is, when you woke up and found yourself in a locked room, you definitely hadn’t gone to sleep in. Damian was also noticeably absent. Your heart was in your throat, had you been kidnaped, if so how did they get into Wayne manor and why didn’t Damian wake up, your husband was a light sleeper.

There was no way anyone could have taken you without waking him up even if, by some improbability, you hadn’t woken up yourself. You’d never felt so relieved as you did when Damian walked through the door breakfast tray in his hands. Maybe this was some sort of staycation to make up for not being able to go on a honeymoon.

“Dami, why is the door locked?” You asked anyways, not expecting the answer that you were going to get.

“To make sure you can’t leave the safety of this room beloved,” He said, and your blood froze because Damian’s tone made it sound as if he believed it was completely normal to lock his wife in a room. You tried to explain to him how messed up that was, but he ignored your arguments. Your husband wasn’t the man you thought he was.

You weren’t dumb enough to think you could take Damian in a fight, so you waited until he left for patrol to start looking for an exit. All that got you was a bruised shoulder because, apparently, the window was freaking bulletproof glass.

You’d decided that tactic was useless because all it got you was Damian fussing over you, and right now, the last thing you wanted was your kidnaper anywhere near you. So, you stopped eating and made it clear to him that you weren’t going to unless he let you go. Part of you still loved him, so it broke your heart to see such a proud man beg, but no matter how much he cried and pleaded, you held firm.

You kept it up for about a week before you woke up tied to the bed, Damian making it clear that if you weren’t going to eat willingly, he’d force-feed you, after all, he’d vowed to keep you safe, even if it was from yourself.

Tags

@yanderepeterparker

@idkmanicantenglish

@prettyafghan

Grow up as only

@neon-phosphorecsent

@foggyturtleknightangel

#yandere damian wayne #yandere damian wayne x reader #Yandere DC #yandere dc comics #Yandere #yandere x reader #x reader #reader insert #yandere dc comics imagine #yandere dc comics x reader #Dark DC #dark batman #Yandere Batboys #Yandere batman #CITD writes #The Batboys Growing Up as Yanderes #PART 5

659 notes · View notes

melancholydreadfuldream · 4 years

Text

wonders lost and wounded

Fandom: Doctor Who

Pairing: 10th Doctor x Reader

Summary: The Doctor has lost so much and he has gotten a bit dark but will you still stay with him or leave?

Warning: ooc, angst, plot holes, dark!doctor, manipulation, death, etc. You have been warned.

More warning: English is not my first language so beware of the headache you will receive upon reading this.

The Doctor sighed in relief and disbelief as he realized he is still alive. He chuckled. "I'm still alive." Maybe the prophecy is wrong after all, he thought.

He turned to you who were knocked unconscious on the floor a few feet away from him. He crawled toward you to check you for injuries. He is relieved knowing you are fine too.

You slowly woke up under his touches. "D-doctor..." You whispered groggily.

The Doctor grinned at you. "We are alive." He said and pulled you into a hug.

You were surprised at his sudden show of affection but you were not complaining. You knew about the prophecy, he had told you before about the four knocks. You both thought it was about the Master.

You smiled at him too, relieved, thinking he is able to cheat the prophecy.

He chuckled again until four sharp knocks were heard. The dread you both felt was so great as you both turned around slowly and saw Wilfred, trapped in the radiation booth.

And the Doctor knew then, he still trapped to fulfill the prophecy of his death.

You knew what will happened next. You thought the Doctor will have to sacrifice himself to save Wilfred.

You listened numbly as the Doctor explained the situation to Donna's beloved grandfather.

"Can't you just open the door?" Wilfred asked.

"The Master left the nuclear bot running and it's gone into overload."

"That's bad, is it?"

"No cos all the excess radiation gets vented inside there. Vinvocci glass. Contains it. All 500.000 rads about to flood that thing."

"Well better let me out then yeah?" Wilfred said with a chuckle.

The Doctor doesn't laugh. "Except it's gone critical. Touch one control and it floods." He pulled his sonic screwdriver. "Even this would set it off."

"I'm sorry." Wilfred looked a bit scared but also resigned.

"You had to go and get stuck. Cos that's who you are, Wilfred. You were always this. Waiting for me all this time." The Doctor said calmy but you could sense the rage and despair in his voice.

"Oh really just leave me. I'm an old man, Doctor, I've had my time." Wilfred said softly.

"Well, exactly look at you. Not remotely important." The Doctor said in such a ruthless tone.

You stared at him in disbelief. You knew he is working on the acceptance of his upcoming death but his words are cruel. You didn't say anything though. You wanted to comfort him but you got the sense he will refuse any comfort right now.

"But me...I could do so much more. So much more! But this is what I get. My reward." The Doctor raged at the world. "And it's not fair!!"

You flinched when he threw some stuff on the floor in his anger. Your heart ached for the Doctor. You wish you could do something, anything to help him at this moment.

You know you could choose to sacrifice yourself in his place but you were too afraid. You can't judge him for wanting to live. He is right. He deserve to live longer. But he need to save Wilfred. The Doctor will die but he will regenerate, you know this.

"I don't accept it."

You turned to look at the Doctor at what he said.

The Doctor's words chilled you to the bone. He sounded so cold. "I'm sorry, Wilfred, I'm so sorry." He said. "I refused to die here."

"Doctor..." You whispered his name. You didn't know what to say, too horrified at the thought that he is willing to let Wilfred die.

The Doctor didn't even look at you. He still staring at Wilfred with a dispassionate look.

Wilfred glanced at the Doctor and nodded his acceptance.

"No." You said. "Doctor, you can't just let him die. He is Donna's grandfather." You grabbed his arms, pleading at him. "There has to be a way."

"There is no other way. Would you rather I die instead, (name)?" The Doctor asked you insensitively.

"That's not fair. I would never wish for your death, you know this." You answered with tears on your eyes. "But, Wilfred..."

"It's okay, (name)." Wilfred said. "I have lived a good life. I am old. Sooner later I will die."

"Not like this." You said to him. "Not like this." You turned to the Doctor. "Donna would never forgive you if she know..." You knew it was cruel to bring up Donna but you just wanted the Doctor to snap out of whatever the state he is in. He frightened you. He sounded like the Time Lord Victorious back at Mars.

The Doctor flinched. He turned and glared at you. "Then, it's a good thing that she will never know."

"Doctor, please, you are scaring me..." You begged him.

He won't budge from his position and you didn't know what it is you are trying to make him do. You wanted him to save Wilfred but you didn't want him to die either. So, what are you going to do now?

You couldn't think straight as you made your way toward the booth but before you could reach it, the Doctor grabbed your arms roughly.

"Don't even think about it." He hissed at you. "You can't regenerate. You will die."

You turned to him, tears in your eyes. You didn't want to die either, part of you is relieved he stopped you but all you know is you can't let Wilfred die here, certainly not because the Doctor choose not to save him.

"Doctor, you can't just let him die..."

"I can't always save everyone." He said callously.

You flinched.

"It's okay, (name), it's alright." Wilfred said comfortingly at you.

The Doctor pulled you away from the booth. You didn't stop looking at Wilfred. He is still smiling gently as he resigned to his fate. You turned toward the Doctor and blanched at how unfeeling he seemed as he stared at Wilfred.

7777

The Doctor has dragged you back into his Tardis.

He had done it. He cheated death, he broke the prophecy. He will live on. He is victorious.

The Doctor smiled.

You couldn't believe your eyes. How could he be smiling like this after he let someone he close to die?

You were still shaking and in shock after leaving Wilfred to his death. You wiped your tears and you turned away from the console room and back into your room aboard the Tardis.

You sat on the floor, hugging your knees. You didn't know how long you were on the floor. You couldn't think straight.

7777

You first joined the Doctor in his current incarnation. He was traveling with Rose at the time. He invited you to travel with him and Rose. Rose never like you, thinking you were her competition. You did started having feeling for the Doctor but you could tell he loves Rose so you never tried anything with him.

You stayed with him even after he lost Rose. But you were never good enough for him. At long night when he especially missed Rose, he would glance at you and you could tell what he was thinking. Why you? Why can't Rose be the one who gets to stay by his side?

He would feel guilty when he saw your hurt look but he never apologies.

You were grateful when Martha joined the Tardis. You got along well with Martha. You and Martha were both miserable with the love you both felt for the Time Lord. You bonded with the fact the Doctor always compare you both with the awesomeness that is Rose Tyler.

It surprised you at all that John Smith ended up falling in love with you during the period of hiding from the family of blood. Oh it was hard for you to fend off John's affection for you. You couldn't bear the thought that when John disappeared, the Doctor will remember everything he did as John. You were mortified, especially knowing his true feeling for Rose.

However John is very persistent in wanting to court you and he is so adorably awkward about it. If thing is different, if John is just a simple human, you could see yourself falling in love with his charm. But you know better. Or at least, you should have.

And yet despite knowing this, you ended up accepting his courting. Martha supported you albeit a bit bitter about it. You can't blame her for you would be too in her place.

John would always smile at you whenever he saw you, offer his arm as he took you out on a stroll into town. He shared with you his weird dream and his journal. That made you felt guilt because you know the truth about his real identity. You saw his drawing of Rose. Even as a human, this version of the Doctor is still fascinated with the idea of Rose.

He draws your picture in his journal and he was very good at it. You thought he have made you too beautiful and told him so. He had said that is how he see you.

And you realized he did see you when the Doctor himself didn't. You both shared a look and he kissed you.

If it's not for Martha's interference, you would have been sweep away by your passion for John. You felt bad for Martha when John shouted at her for not knocking before entering his room.

You tried to leave despite John's insistence to stay. "This is a mistake." You said without thinking.

John looked hurt. But it was the truth. You shouldn't have let him kiss you or kissed him back in return. You were ashamed that you have no self-control.

He tried to stop you from leaving but you were a coward as you ran out of his embrace.

You hated yourself for being so weak, for easily falling in love with John just for his show of affection of you, even knowing full well that he has an expired date. What were you thinking? Stupid!

You talked to Martha about it. You apologized to her for everything she has to endure in this period and for having John's heart. Martha, brave-heart Martha, never blame you and she understood you. You were grateful for her friendship.

When the family of blood attacked, John were attending dance party with Joan, the matron who have her eyes on John ever since the first time they met. You thought he did that on purpose to make you jealous, to hurt you as you have hurt him when you rejected him.

You and Martha raced against time to find the pocket watch containing Doctor's time lord consciousness. You and Martha had to convinced John to open the watch but he refused to do so even after you both explained everything about the Doctor and his current enemy.

John glanced at you mournfully. "Did you love him, this Doctor?"

You didn't know how to answer him. You wanted to lie but you found you couldn't lie to him. "I love him."

"And did he love you back?"

Your heart ached at the question. You shook your head.

"Then how can I return to be him when he didn't even love you?"

"John..."

"I don't want to go..." He whispered brokenly. "Why can't I stay?"

You pulled him into your embrace. Tears filled your eyes as your heart ached for this man, John Smith.

"Promise me something, (name)." John whispered to you. "If this man, this Doctor, would never love you back, promise me you won't stay with him. You deserved someone who loved you back. You find that person. Can you do that?"

You glanced up at him. You hesitantly nodded. You didn't know if you could keep your promise but you made that promise anyway.

After he returned back into the Doctor, you noticed he started treating you a bit differently. Martha said she caught him staring at you a few times. You believed it was a remnant of John's feeling for you and yet it still not enough for the Doctor to do something about it. So you both tried to ignore the elephant in the room. But Martha is right though, you kept catching him giving you a look. You wondered if he remembered the promise you made to John and whether you would ever act on it.

You lost the only family you have left in the world during your travel with the Doctor. You didn't even get to say goodbye. You were devastated. The Doctor and Martha were thankfully there for you. The Doctor granted you a chance to say goodbye to your mother and you were eternally grateful to him and his Tardis.

Afterward you needed a break from the Tardis but you made the Doctor promised to come back for you when you are ready. You reunited again with them on Valiant when the Master arranged his people to kidnap you. It was painful year for everyone involved. You were so glad when the Doctor and Martha defeated the Master and time is reset.

Martha left the Tardis after the fiasco with the Master. She warned you not to put your life on hold for the Doctor. You wished you could take her advice but maybe you are still one sick puppy for you let yourself burn over and over again for him.

The Doctor invited Donna to join you both. You got along with Donna. You love how she took no nonsense from the Doctor. You remembered your first meeting with her in her wedding dress. She never stop yelling or slapping the Doctor. It was funny. You thought Donna is exactly the kind of companion the Doctor needs. You loved watching the two exchanged banters, it was very entertaining.

You thought you could keep your feeling for the Doctor under wrap but Donna noticed it. Despite her teasing and support, you refused to act on her crude advice regarding the Doctor.

Then Rose returned. She always is possessive of the Doctor. She doesn't like that you were still there with the Doctor. She is afraid that you will take her place in the Doctor's hearts. She really need not to worry for you know the Doctor only has eyes for one Rose Tyler. You could never compete with her.

With Rose returned, you know it was time to take Martha's advice and keep your promise to John about leaving the Doctor for good. At least that is your plan until everything fall apart around you. The Doctor once again stranded Rose in the bad wolf bay and gifting her a gift of a life with Metacrisis Doctor. Then, he had to erase Donna's memories of everything pertaining the Doctor.

You can't leave him now. You can't let him be alone. He is the loneliest man in the universe and you wish to ease his loneliness even for just a bit. So you stayed for him.

The Doctor treated you differently now. He is more affectionate with you. You were confused and you couldn't help the hope rising in your heart even though you knew he is just using you. You found you didn't mind. How pathetic you can be? So hungry for his affection that you would be anything he want.

He frightened you though during a trip to the Mars. At first he insisted to leave for he doesn't want to mess with a fixed point in time. But he changed his mind when he saved some of the crews' lives. You were properly scared when he proclaimed himself the Time Lord Victorious. You thought he snapped out of it when Adelaide committed suicide to keep the timeline in tact.

Now with what happening with Wilfred, you have to wonder if he is still the Time Lord Victorious.

7777

You felt guilty. You knew it was out of your control and yet you still felt guilty anyway. You had nightmare about Wilfred. You couldn't stop shaking every time you woke up in cold sweat.

The Doctor acted as if nothing has changed, grinning at you and talking about the next trip he planned for the both of you.

You couldn't stand it so you asked to be taken home even though there is nothing for you at home. You needed a break from the Doctor so that you can sort out your mind.

A dark expression crossed his feature immediately, making you winced as you took unconscious step back away from him.

"Okay." He said solemnly.

You blinked in surprise and confusion. You glanced at him, wondering if your mind just played a trick on you earlier.

He smiled at you and talked you about giving it a few days for him to prepare a last hurrah for you.

You couldn't refuse when you watched how excited the Doctor as he was planning that last hurrah thing.

7777

True to his words, he planned a very exciting trip for you. You had a lot of fun that day. You laughed along with the Doctor. He would grab your hands tightly as he made you run as he showed you the wonder of the universe.

He glanced at you fondly, grinning boyishly. You love the sound of his laughter.

And then he kissed you.

You were stunned.

He cupped your face gently, pulling your chin up as he continues kissing you.

"Doctor, what are you doing?" You asked in hurt tone.

He glanced down at you, putting his forehead over yours and let out a soft sigh. "Can't you tell?"

"Are you trying to stop me from leaving by doing this? Kissing me?"

"I don't want you to go." The Doctor whispered in your ear. "Stay with me?" He is distracting you with kisses on the neck.

"Doctor, I..."

Your mind short-circuits when he kissed you again.

And so, you give in to him the next time he asked you to stay.

7777

Ever since that day, your relationship with the Doctor changed. He kissed you a lot, not that you are complaining, you just still not sure whether you were a couple or not. You were too afraid to make confirmation though. So, yeah, you did indeed stay with him again.

He was smiling and grinning a lot and still talked really fast over everything like over excited puppy. The dark look that alarmed you before never made appearance again until Jackson Lake.

The Doctor took you to London on Christmas Eve in 1851 where you encountered a man that the Doctor thought to be his future regeneration. Soon the both of you are pulled into the cybermen fiasco where the Doctor learn the man he met is not a future version of himself. His name is Jackson Lake. His mind got infused with cybermen infostamp which made him believe he is the Doctor.

It was there you once again saw the Time Lord Victorious. He let Jackson Lake fell into the time vortex along with the cybermen. He didn't even bother to try to save him.

You confronted him about it much to his displeasure.

"I can't always save everyone. You know this."

You couldn't believe him. You knew he could have; he just chooses not to. "Is this who you are from now on, Doctor? You would just let people die."

"I did the best I can do in the situation."

"Yeah? And will one day you would do that to me too? Someday you will just choose not to save me?"

He glared at you as he moved toward you, causing you to flinch in fear. You thought he would hit you. He trapped you instead between him and the wall.

The Doctor cupped your cheeks with his hands. "I will always do everything in my power to save you, (name)."

You were stunned to see the sorrow in his eyes.

7777

There were times that you wanted to leave the Doctor but then he will do something that made you feel too guilty to ever leave him behind. So, you never did leave him.

You and the Doctor ended up in Leadworth where you met Amy Pond while the Doctor deals with Prisoner Zero and the Atraxi.

Amy told you she has a message for you from her raggedy Doctor. You were confused. She took you to her house to her bedroom and told you to touch the crack on her wall.

You were hesitant at first but you eventually did.

You found yourself in some white space and you saw a man who Amy claimed is the raggedy Doctor.

The man smiled at you fondly. "(name)..."

"Who are you?"

"I'm the Doctor."

"But you can't be."

"Well, I was supposed to be the Doctor until he, your Doctor, changed his path." He said.

Suddenly the surrounding around you changed into the time where the Doctor were still with Wilfred, only this time you saw the Doctor walked inside the booth, allowing Wilfred to survive another day. You watched in tears as the Doctor made his goodbyes trip and his heart-breaking final words which reminded you of John. Then he regenerated into the man you saw, the so-called raggedy Doctor.

You blinked suddenly when you realized you weren't with the Doctor in these visions. "Where am I? Why am I not with you?"

The Doctor looked so sad. "Oh, (name), remember Mars?"

You nodded hesitantly.

"Do you remember what happened after Mars?"

"You mean with Adelaide...?"

"After that..."

You pondered about it. "I was in the Tardis with the Doctor."

"And then what? Where did you both go?"

You frowned when you realized you didn't remember. "I don't..."

The raggedy Doctor has such a sorrowful look as he look at you. He cupped your cheeks. "I'm so sorry, (name)."

You felt like choking. "What is going on? I don't understand."

You woke up on the Tardis med-bay. The Doctor, your Doctor, apparently found you unconscious in some empty house. The owner of the house apparently were in a coma, a victim of Prisoner Zero.

You didn't tell the Doctor of what you saw.

7777

You and the Doctor encountered River Song in the Byzantium. You were annoyed watching River flirted with the Doctor. You watched the Doctor tentatively flirted back much to your disbelief.

River then explained why she called the Doctor here and asked him about what he know of weeping angel. There was supposed to be only one angel. However, it turned out this time, the Doctor didn't notice the danger the weeping angel pose as you and everyone involved were in the middle of the angels army waking up.

Despite the Doctor warning for you to stay close, you ended up got lost and you screamed when you met face to face with one of the angels.

You woke up feeling weak inside the Tardis med-bay and you distinctly heard the Doctor arguing with someone, arguing with River, apparently.

It sounded very heated. River looked pissed and the Doctor looked annoyed.

"It was very stupid and foolish, not to mention, cruel!" You heard River yelling at the Doctor.

"Don't talk about things that you don't understand."

"Oh I understand more than you think, Doctor."

You choose that moment to cough.

The Doctor and surprisingly, River, fussed over you immediately.

You touched your stiff neck. "Ow, I think I sleep wrong, my neck is killing me..." You whined.

The Doctor and River exchanged a look but it went unnoticed by you.

7777

You were shaking in fury and in tears.

Earlier that day, during routine adventure, you and the Doctor naturally gotten into trouble. By the end of it, you were taken hostage. And as you always dreaded, he chooses not to save you.

At first the Doctor has threatened them with his usual no second chance thing, his oncoming storm vibe. His eyes cold and calculating as he stared down the people who took you.

Your eyes widened in disbelief and hurt when he said to the alien to go ahead and kill you. You felt so betrayed. Even the said alien was confused with the Doctor's sudden change in mood.

The Doctor's firm look betrayed nothing of what he planned. He just stood there with flat look even as the alien insisted he will kill you. Instead you saw him lifted his sonic screwdriver at your direction.

You must have fainted at some point because you woke up on the Tardis med-bay unharmed. You cried though when you recalled what happened.

The Doctor entered the room and dare to look happy to see you awake after he just betrayed you like that. How can you trust him again?

You were so furious. You refused to hear his explanation that he was just bluffing and that everything turned out okay.

"(name), you need to trust me. I would never abandon you." The Doctor said as he grabbed my arms.

"Take me home, Doctor. I am done. I can't stay here anymore. I don't feel safe with you anymore." You said with tears, ignoring his pleading eyes. "I can't do this anymore. I can't trust you."

The Doctor looked like he was being slapped. His eyes looked sad and tired. "After everything we have gone through together, how can you not trust me?"

"I am afraid of you. I know I am just human. I know traveling with you is dangerous and that someday I will eventually die. But I have always trust you to have my back, to protect me when it matters. But you told him to just go ahead and kill me!"

"It was just a bluff. I would never let him kill you." The Doctor pleaded. "Please, (name), you can't leave..."

"I can't stay. I am sorry, Doctor. I just..."

"I am sorry too."

You glanced up at him and saw a dark look on his face. You took a step back away from him in fear.

He glanced down at you as he walked toward you slowly. "Don't be afraid of me, (name), not you..."

You tried to stay put as he stood before you. He raised a hand over your head. He tentatively wiped your tears with his thumb. He bend his head toward your ear and whispered something to you.

7777

You woke up to the sound of bird song inside the Tardis even though you were pretty sure you were at home just before. Were you really at home though? Didn't you decided to stay with the Doctor? You couldn't think straight.

There was a man that look exactly like the Doctor, saved for his ginger hair, sunglasses and his dark clothing. He called himself the Dream Lord. He was very loud about it too.

He insinuated the Doctor is keeping some secret from you. You said that was nothing new. But then he mentioned the secret involved yourself. He showed you a door, a vault really, with complicated lock on it.

"How am I meant to open that?"

"Well not here you can't but when you woke up and find it, just think open sesame, it will work."

"Seriously?" You asked in disbelief.

"Don't you want to know what happened after Mars?" He asked in a chilling tone.

You froze under his gaze.

"Find the vault. Learn the truth."

That's when the original Doctor suddenly appeared and the vault dissolved before the Doctor noticed as he was busy yelling at his twin.

You eventually woke up for real. You wondered what is that dream lord thing. The Doctor had said the dream lord is not real, just a manifestation of his darker side, influenced by psychic pollen inside the Tardis which heated up and causing both you and the Doctor caught into some dream world.

7777

You secretly tried to find the vault you saw in your dream but you couldn't find it within the Tardis. You wondered if the dream lord is bullshitting you. Would open sesame even worked to open the vault?

But you were curious about what he said about after Mars. It was twice now a version of Doctors warned you about it.

What happened after Mars? Where did you and the Doctor go? Why can't you remember?

You must have lost your mind because you started to hearing whispers in your head. You followed the whispers alongside the corridors within the Tardis.

Find the vault. Learn the truth. Find the vault. Learn the truth.

It was like someone is chanting those words over and over again.

You clutched your pounding head with both hands, wishing the headache will go away.

"(name)? Are you alright? What's wrong?" The Doctor asked.

The whispers suddenly gone and so is the headache. You glanced up at the Doctor, eyes glassy but you were relieved.

Without thinking, you rushed toward him and hugged him close. He hugged you back and rubbed your back.

"Come on." He led you away from the corridors. He discreetly turned to look at the corridors you both just left. The air around it started to falter, showing something hidden beneath it. He pulled an arms around you protectively.

7777

The Doctor let out a heavy sigh. That was a close call. One more step and you would have seen through the perception filter and once again find the vault.

Each time you did find the vault, he would have to erase your memories of it for you could never cope with the truth behind the vault.

And yet for some reason, time and time again, you continued to stumble your way into the vault no matter how many times he relocated the vault, regardless the many protective layer after layer of perception filter he placed upon it.

You always ended up finding the vault, learning the painful truth behind the vault, almost like something is guiding you to find it.

After making sure you were asleep, he left you behind. He walked toward many corridors within the Tardis before stopping in front of the vault.

He pushes open the vault door with ease. He entered the room with heavy heart as he walked toward a huge tube containing a figure submerged in watery grave.

The figure within the tube is badly disfigured. The tube is connected with some complicated machinery which put the figure in deep sleep. Not far, there were some sort of bath tub containing icky white liquid.

The Doctor sighed as he put one hand over the tube. "I swear it, (name), I will never stop finding a cure for you, until then you will have to bear seeing reality through your gangers."

He leaned against the tube. "I'm sorry about yesterday. Your ganger got her neck snapped by a weeping angel. I know that was very unpleasant. I will do better next time to keep you safe."

He slowly sat on the floor, staring forlornly at the floor, remembering an early ganger version of you, crying in pain, unable to fully stabilized, feeling too much pain of the original you, melting and screaming, unable to accept that you weren't real.

"I am real! I am (name) (last name)! I am real! I am not ganger!" You had screamed and raged amidst the pain. You were confused and in pain even though you weren't injured at all. You were horrified to see your own skin, how wrong it feels. You watched your hideous flesh face from the reflection of the tube and screamed.

He stared at you solemnly, eyes looking apologetic and sad. "I am so sorry." He raised his sonic screwdriver, turned it on and vaporizing you. The eyes are always the last to go and he hates it.

The Doctor sobbed as he harshly clutched his own hair. Keeping the truth from you has been hard. And now even your ganger self is wanting to leave him. He can't let you do that. He can't let you leave...so he made you forget your intention.

He was thankful he got to the real you when he could. You weren't grateful though, in absolute pain as you were, you begged him to kill you.

He couldn't do it. It would be a mercy to put you down. But he couldn't. And so against your wishes, he put you into the tube, put you into deep sleep, pumped you full of anesthetic drug.

You were hanging by a thread. He knew he will lose you so he forcefully bound you to himself. You will live as long as this version of himself remained alive.

And so he fought time itself, the prophecy of his own death, to buy you more time. He will not accept another loss, no more. But in order to keep you alive, he was forced to sacrifice another. He will have to live with that with the rest of his life.

The Doctor was lonely. He didn't want a new companion. He wanted you. So when he found out about the flesh technology, he hooked you up to it. He tampered with your memory to ensure the trauma didn't get transferred to your ganger self.

He found the hard way just how far gone you are and that caused some of your gangers he created descent into madness. So, he had to dig deep inside your mind, separating the damage, salvaged a semblance version of you before he could connect you into the flesh technology.

He had to experiment with many versions of your ganger self in order to make sure you will get the best experience. Unfortunately, it didn't always work. The flesh technology is not perfect but enough to give you a half-life.

The Doctor had no idea how River know about you and the vault. She was not pleased with it. She said he was playing God. She said he was being cruel to you. It made him angry. How dare that woman says such a thing? He did everything for you, to ensure you live. How can him trying to keep you alive being seen as cruel?

He could feel time is falling apart and rearranged itself around him forming a new timeline. He was supposed to die that day and regenerated into his eleventh self. But he didn't. He cheated his death. Part of him is relieved he can postpone his own death. Because...he didn't want to go.

A/N: ok, this story won't make any sense at all. I think halfway through writing this, I lost sight of what I actually want to write. I'm not satisfied with it but honestly, i don't think i can continue developing the storyline for it. I already use KISS to try to salvage this, erasing half of what I already write, it still won't connect the dot though. But I already write too much of it, I figure I will just have to accept it is a failure and then dumpost it so that it will no longer occupy my mind and just filed it as finished or discontinued.

#10th doctor x reader #tenth doctor x reader #doctor who x reader #doctor who fanfiction #dark!doctor #shiefenwrites

165 notes · View notes

toothpastecanyon · 3 years

Text

Restless

The day the Dread Pirate Mizar plunged a battleship into the sun was the day that would immortalise her. Neural news networks beamed images of melting metal and shredded hull into minds all across the UL, and in that moment, she was reborn.

Not everyone met her on that day, though. Some people had met her a long, long time ago.

See most updated version on Archive of Our Own.

______________________________________________________________

Reborn not as a person, but as a figure. As a feeling. As a legend.

The day the Dread Pirate Mizar plunged a battleship into the sun, stories began to be passed around.

It was said that the Dread Pirate Mizar was a tactical genius. She must have had inside knowledge to outmaneuver the Avada; it was said that she was a deserter, a former general of the innermost circles of the empire.

It was said that she rotted in prison for ten, twenty, fifty years, plotting the UL’s destruction.

It was said that she was crazy. It was said that she was all too sane.

It was said that she and the pirates like her were the UL’s most existential threat; it was said that she was a monster, a hero, a murderer, a revolutionary.

So many tales were told, each one taller than the last. But of these stories, a few would be left unsaid.

There was an old man, sitting in the living room with his granddaughter as his neural chip read him confirmation of Martha’s death. He grimaced to himself, thinking back to a time he’d rather forget.

______________________________________________________________

Biquilage Astradust was not proud of his past. He’d never had much in the way of a stable home life; his mother had died fighting in WEFIDS, and his father didn’t make enough to cover rent without him chipping in. He worked odd jobs until he fell into a group that paid much better… if you could stomach it.

He didn’t start out killing people, no. It started out with something he couldn’t help but understand.

It started out with anger. A common anger bound them all - anger at the hand they’d been dealt in life. Anger at the family they’d lost, anger at the situations they’d been trapped in, anger at the people who got what they didn’t deserve while they rotted in the gutters. Biquil didn’t remember a whole lot about where he went or what he did, but he remembered that anger.

It felt good, to share that. It felt good, to be with people who would understand. Who cares what they were doing?

…They were stealing. They were mugging. They were hurting people. And when Biquil was seventeen and fighting with his dad, they were saying they had some friends off planet who’d give him a place to stay for a while.

Pirates. These friends were pirates, and Biquil remembered the hard swallow he gave at the markings on the side of their ship. Jigeitef, who was accompanying him, gave him a playful shove.

“You look scared, B.” His grin had a gleam to it. “Don’t tell me I brought my buddies a chicken!”

“No! No, I’m ready! I’m ready to do whatever they say!”

“That’s more like it.” They were docking; Jig clapped his back. “You’re lucky. Captain’s putting on a bit of a party before the big hit tomorrow. I’ll introduce you to him - if I can catch him sober, hah!”

The pirates were all crowded in an old UL mess hall; there weren’t even close to enough seats, and Biquil had to step between a dozen or so swaying crew members before he made it to the captain. The captain was a large, bearded man who seemed more interested in nursing his bowl of ERNARERE brew than saying hello; after a moment, Jig gave up and thrust a bowl in Biquil’s direction.

“S’no matter. Let’s go enjoy ourselves, eh?”

The stench of alcohol burned his nose, and the two of them had a hard time finding a place to sit. Eventually they settled for sitting cross-legged in the middle of the floor; a pirate tapped Jig from behind and they started to talk, leaving Biquil alone in the deafening chatter around him.

Only for a moment, though. There was a nudge, and he turned to see Jig and the other pirate motioning at him.

“...yeah, he’s new,” Jig was saying. “He’s from… ah, whereabouts you from, B?”

“Up north,” said Biquil. He’d learned not to be specific.

“Yeah, he’s up north, round the, uh, Polar neighborhoods. Like me.” Jig cracked a grin. “You know his mom was a UL’er?”

Biquil’s blood ran cold as the pirate looked up at him. The pirate’s face twisted into a black anger, and he spat at the floor. Biquil huddled up a little closer to Jig.

“What are you doing?” He hissed. “I don’t want people knowing that!”

Jig waved him off. “Oh, you give him too much credit. He won’t remember it in the morning.”

The pirate made a slitting motion against his neck, and Biquil gulped. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it, kid. Just relax, okay?” Jig rustled his hair, and then snorted at something. “Your mom, she died in WEFIDS, didn’t she?”

“What?”

“Your mom died in WEFIDS?”

“Um, yeah… she-”

“That’s amazing! Oh, dude, I gotta show you something hil-lar-ious.”

Biquil was taken aback by that, and watched as Jig got to his feet and looked around. He grinned when he spotted someone in the crowd, and cupped his hands over his mouth to yell across the room:

“Hey, Mizar!”

The room quieted for a moment, but there was no reply. Pirates started turning their heads and snickering; Biquil craned his head to see who they were laughing at.

“Mizar. Mizar.”

Jigs’ lip lifted in a sneer. He was staring at a woman lying facedown in a corner of the room, wild hair tangled in a dirty halo around her head. She didn’t respond, didn’t move a muscle, and he rolled his eyes.

“Oh, for star’s sakes. Can someone check if she’s dead?”

At that, a couple sniggering pirates prodded her. She groaned, but didn’t move much. Biquil glanced over at Jigs.

“What’s going on?” He whispered. “Why are you-”

“ARGH, FUCK!”

That came from Mizar; one of the pirates had poured their bowl all over her hair and she’d shot up, frantically pawing at the back of her head.

“I’m hit! I’m bleeding, I’m…” She stared blankly at the tarry mixture all over her hands, and then noticed all the pirates laughing at her. Her expression twisted into a furious glare. “Oh, fuck you guys! Leave me alone, I’ve got such a hangover right now!”

“Hey, Mizar!” Jigs called out. She turned that glare on him.

“Fuck off.”

“You know WEFIDS, right?”

Mizar visibly flinched at that. Her whole body went tense, and her hand went up to clutch at a dirty pink shawl hung around her shoulders. She reminded Biquil of a cornered animal; while the other pirates cackled, he shivered.

“You know WEFIDS, right?” Jigs repeated. When she didn’t respond, he patted Biquil’s shoulder. “D’you know we got a newbie who’s mom fought there?”

Biquil physically recoiled. He tugged at Jigs’ sleeve. “No, don’t-”

“Just sayin, I thought you’d be interested.” Jigs grinned wide. “Your folks, they bit it in a UL attack, didn’t they? Damn, that sucks. Who knows, maybe this newbie knows who did it, eh, B?”

Mizar’s eyes, small and beady and bloodthirsty, suddenly jumped down and fixed on him. Biquil still remembered the shiver that shot down his spine as she rose to her feet, shattered a bottle against the side of the ship, and stumbled forwards.

Stumbled down. Fell on a group of pirates, and suddenly there was kicking and shoving and swearing and Mizar dissolved into a bloody bar fight. Without her eyes on him, Biquil felt like he could breathe again; immediately he rounded on his friend.

“You’re trying to get me killed!”

“Relax, kid,” Jig sat back even as Biquil put a hand on his knife. “You’re not special, we do it to all the newbies. Sometimes she makes them scream, hah!”

“I don’t…” He frowned. “I shouldn’t have come here.”

“Well, you’re here now, and you’re not leaving.” Jig looked at him, and there was something dangerous in his smile. “Where’re you gonna go, huh? Back to Daddy? I’m sure he’ll be happy to have a pirate back at home.”

Biquil didn’t know what to say to that.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. You’re ours now, boy. Get used to it.” Jig took a gulp of his brew. “And since you’re being so whiny about it, why don’t you have this?”

He handed Biquil a key. It was slightly bent, and there was dried blood on the handle.

“What’s this?”

“For where you’re sleeping. You’re lucky, that one’s for just a two person room! You’re gonna love your roommate.”

“Who’s my roommate?”

Jig just stared ahead, to the barfight. Somebody had Mizar in a headlock as another person was punching her all over. She was clawing at his arm, and then finally she took the broken bottle and drove it backwards into his face; they all fell over, and blood painted the wall. Biquil’s blood went cold.

“Not…”

“Yeah.” A chuckle. “Hey, maybe you’ll have the room to yourself. Seems like this fight could go either way.”

There was a shout, and suddenly Mizar was pinning the other guy to the wall; he held his hands up, but she stabbed him in the neck, and stabbed him again and again and again and again until he fell down and she kept stabbing at the wood. Finally she staggered back, dropping the bottle, staring at her bloodsoaked hands. Jig raised his eyebrows.

“Or not.” He patted Biquil’s back. “Yeah, have fun tonight, B. Might even see you tomorrow.”

Biquil stared at the monster curled up against the far wall, and honestly wondered if he was going to die tonight.

______________________________________________________________

Mizar wasn’t there when Biquil made his way to their room. He’d actually made sure to go to bed before her - his plan, if you could call it a plan, was to just be silent and hope she wouldn’t notice him. He didn’t know what to expect going into her room: bodies? Weapons? Some kind of sick collection of things taken from her murders? His heart was thumping in his chest as he turned the key, braced himself, opened the door…

And found not a bad room. It obviously wasn’t the neatest place to sleep at; there were clothes and knives strewn about everywhere, and a collection of alcohol bowls at the base of one bed, but nothing horrifying. Most surprising of all, he remembered, was a sketchbook on her bed, opened to quite a pretty drawing of this system’s asteroid belt.

Strange.

Her stuff was all over Biquil’s bed, too, and he froze, unsure of whether to move it or not. He eventually decided to carefully lower it all to the floor, and then turned out the lights so she hopefully wouldn’t notice.

Then he got in bed, and waited for her. He couldn’t sleep a wink knowing that she was coming, not knowing what she was going to do when she saw him. Jig didn’t seem to think she was that scary, but that look in her eyes when she was pacing towards him…

It was a long wait. He didn’t know how long exactly, but an eternity later, he heard the doorknob move, saw the door open and a figure stumble in. Backlit by the hallway lights, she looked like some kind of shadow, and she froze in place.

Biquil couldn’t see her eyes, but she moved her head, and suddenly he felt her gaze like he was being dropped into a sun. Slowly, deliberately, Mizar turned and closed the door behind her, locked it… and then there was something cold pressed up against his neck.

“What are you doing here?” Mizar’s voice was dangerously low. “You come to kill me? Who sent you this time?”

“What?” Biquil strained against the knife. “I don’t - they just sent me to sleep here! I wasn’t, I-I’m not trying to kill you, I promise!”

“Fuck off! Fuck off with your promises! Why don’t you guys just leave me alone?!”

“I’m sorry! I-I just got here, I don’t- please don’t kill me. I can leave. I’ll go, I-I’ll sleep outside in the hallway, I’ll…” He felt the knife relax a bit. “I’ll…?”

Mizar didn’t say anything for a long moment. Suddenly, the lights switched on, and he jumped at the sight of her looming over him. Her eyes squinted a bit in the light, and then glared down at him.

“You,” she said, after a pause. “You’re that kid from earlier. Jigs’ little friend.”

Lost for words, he nodded. She looked down at the floor.

“You moved my stuff.”

“Sorry.”

Mizar gave him a strange look at that. He couldn’t figure out if it was good or bad, but suddenly she pushed off him and tossed the knife into a corner. He could finally breathe… and he didn’t know what to do now. She was picking up all the clothes he’d moved to the floor; he reached down to help, but she glared at him and he thought better of it.

It was silent, for a long, awkward minute. Then Mizar spoke.

“B something.”

“Huh?”

“Your name.”

“Oh, uh… call me Biquil.”

Mizar nodded to herself as she folded up a prison jumpsuit. “And how old are you?”

“Um… Twenty?”

“You asking me if you’re twenty?”

“No! Uh, no, uh… seventeen. I’m seventeen.”

“Seventeen, huh.” Mizar opened a drawer. “You’re young, aren’t you.”

“Yeah…I can still fight, though! I’m not gonna run away!”

“Run away. Heh.” She shook her head. “You should, kid. While you still can.”

“What?”

“Where you from?”

“Uh, ODDIK.”

“How far away is that?”

“It’s, uh… we’re in ODDIK right now.”

“Oh.” Mizar shot him a death glare. “I’m not dumb. I’ve had a long day. I’ll hurt you if you laugh at me.”

Biquil shook his head, and watched her glare deepen.

“You think I’m dumb. You all think I’m dumb, and you’re all wrong. I know why they made you come here; they think I’ll be a part of their little hazing.” She muttered to herself. “I’m gonna kill Jigs. Gonna kill him. One day I’m just gonna kill him.”

He shrank back in his bed a little as Mizar finished putting her stuff away. She stalked towards the light switch, and shot a look at him before she flicked it.

“You need anything else?”

“What do you-”

“I said. Do you need. Anything else.” She glared at him. “Once this goes off it’s not going on again. Hurts my eyes.”

“No, I don’t- I don’t need anything else.”

“Good.” She turned off the lights, and there was a shuffling as she got into bed. “Oh, by the way, don’t plan on sleeping tonight, kid. There’s a reason they gave me my own room.”

“...Why?”

“I, uh, snore. Yeah, I snore real loud, apparently.”

Biquil frowned. “That’s the reason?”

“I mean I also strangled someone with their own bedsheets once, but that was self defense.” The bed creaked as Mizar rolled over. “Anyway, goodnight, or whatever.”

She didn’t speak again, and Biquil was suddenly alone in total darkness. He tried to shut his eyes, but it didn’t make much difference.

______________________________________________________________

Unsurprisingly, Biquil didn’t remember getting much sleep that night. He did - very vividly - remember why, though. It wasn’t the snoring. Mizar didn’t snore once.

It was the crying. She cried all night, sniffing and muttering and breath-hitching… and he just lay there, with nothing to do but listen. He didn’t dare make a sound, and when the alarm went off for them to get up, he didn’t say a word about the blotchy face who turned on the lights.

“Hmm…” She wiped her eyes and frowned at him for a second. “Oh, you’re the kid from the… Right.”

“Good morning,” Biquil said, and then immediately regretted how dumb that sounded.”Uh-”

“It’s a good morning? That’s news to me, heh.” She chuckled as she picked a knife up from the floor. “Big day. Think we’re raiding a UL outpost today. Apparently the captain thinks they keep a lot of gold in little space stations at the edge of empire space, but hey, what do I know.”

He didn’t know what to say to that, so he got out of bed. There wasn’t a whole lot of getting ready he needed to do - he’d slept in his clothes - but he did check his pockets. You’d be surprised how easy it was for things to go missing over the night.

“How you feeling about it, kid?”

“Huh? Oh, I’m ready for anything.”

“Anything, eh?” She shot him an unpleasant smile. “That’s bold. Anything at all?”

Biquil made a face. “I mean… you know, ready for whatever happens on the job, you know.”

“Oh yeah, I know. I know what happens on jobs, you don’t.”

“...Okay?”

She paused, and then took a step towards him. “This is your first job, isn’t it.”

“No, I-”

“Sure, sure, you’ve messed around on your home planet or whatever. That’s not what I’m talking about, kid.” She stepped forwards again, close enough that he could smell her. That pink shawl - stars, it reeked. “I’m saying this is your first job. Your first real one.”

There was something unreadable in Mizar’s eyes… he nodded. Anything to make her go away, and fuck she put a hand on his shoulder.

“Listen to me,” she said, quietly. “You’re not gonna go on this job today. You’re gonna stay in this room, and I’ll come back after and get you off the ship.”

Biquil frowned. “What?”

“I’ll just say I killed you. They always believe that, they won’t go looking for you.”

“Wh- but, no! I gotta go on this job, I won’t get paid-”

“Then you’re gonna walk right off this ship and get yourself a different job - asteroid miners, they hire off the street these days! You still have that option.” Her grip tightened. “Listen, kid, that UL outpost is gonna be stuffed with cameras and chip scanners; you think you got problems now? Wait until your iris scan shows up on every piracy database in the galaxy. Once you’re in, you’re not getting out.”

He stared at her. “You want me to just… run away?”

“Yes, that’s exactly what I want you to do.”

“I can’t do that! Jigs is gonna think I’m a-”

“Argh!” Mizar suddenly shoved him back. “I’m gonna break something if you keep whining at me! Just stay here for a few hours and I’ll get you off the ship-”

“But I don’t want to get off the ship!” He clenched his fists. “You can’t just kick me out like this!”

“Oh yes I can, and also, I don’t care what you want. You’re seventeen, what you want is dumb.”

“Shut up, shut up!” He stabbed a finger at her. “Stop telling me what to do! I came here so people would stop telling me what to do! You’re not my mother!”

Mizar stared down at him. “Yeah, and I’m real glad I’m not. She raised a piece of work, didn’t she?”

Biquil froze as the words registered; at first there was disbelief, and then red hot rage like she’d stabbed him with fire. Before he even knew what he was doing he drew back his fist and was driving it right into her stupid smug face-

And she caught it. A second later, the cold rim of a blaster shoved itself against his jaw. She wasn’t smiling at all.

“Don’t try that again, kid.” Her hand forced itself into his pocket, and grabbed his room key. “This is what is going to happen. You’re going to stay right here until I come back, and then you’re going to get off this ship and go do something else with your life.”

She started walking backwards, still pointing the blaster at him. He glowered at her.

“I hate you.”

“Join the club.” Mizar opened the door, and then motioned around the room. “Oh, yeah, and while I’m gone, don’t trash my room. I may kill you for real then.”

“Oh, yeah? Try me! We can fight it out, we can-!” The door slammed in his face, and he kicked it. “Argh! I can’t believe this!”

He jiggled the handle, and then tried banging and hollering on the metal; no one came. He stepped back, shaking from anger, and started kicking all her stupid clothes strewn all over the floor. One of her knives was right by his foot - he took that and started gouging holes in some of them, and then he went to her bed and sliced right down her mattress.

Her sketchbook fell on the ground. He picked it up, chest heaving, and tore the pages right out of their binding. He tried to rip them all together but they were too thick to tear, so he picked one out.

It was a drawing of an asteroid. The detail in it gave him pause; he stared at the little flecks of shining ore in the grey shading, the sky behind it peppered with stars… this must’ve taken hours, he thought.

Biquil made to tear it, but then he paused, and then he scowled and tossed it to the floor instead. He stalked over to his bed and threw himself onto his pillow.

There he lay for a long time, glaring into the fabric.

______________________________________________________________

It felt like an eternity before Mizar returned. Biquil paced around the room for a while, listening to the oxygen system whirr on and judder off, the idling engines chugging deep in the hull, the creaks and moans of an empty ship. He tried picking the lock, but he’d never been very good at that; he didn’t like fiddly things. He didn’t like waiting around.

Which was why it was almost a relief to hear footsteps down the corridor. He heard the key turn in the lock, and saw the door crack open.

Nobody came out at first. He moved a bit closer, and then it swung wide; Mizar shuffled in, hunched, with her hand clapped around a wound on her forehead - he could see the blood still running down it.

“Oh…” He said as she threw her backpack on the ground. “Uh… are you…?”

“I dunno… what’s my name? What year is this?” Her eyes flicked up to his face, and she let out a chuckle. “Nah, just kidding, kid. Had to see the look on your face.”

He watched her laugh a bit more to herself, then rifle around in her bag. Her eyes dropped to the floor, and saw all the torn clothes he’d left strewn about.

“Oh, you’ve been keeping busy, eh? You little gremlin.” Shaking her head, she picked one up and made to tear off the sleeve. “I do remember telling you I’d kill you for touching my stuff, but I guess…”

A crumpled page fell out of the shirt, and Mizar froze as it came to rest face-up; it was her drawing of the asteroid belt. Biquil could feel the air drop ten degrees as she shot up, noticing for the first time the pages scattered about her room, the spine of the sketchbook carelessly tossed behind the bed. He could see her breath hitch, her jaw set, her fists clench… and she spoke.

“You…” She said, with a dangerous quiver. “You destroyed my sketchbook.”

Biquil felt a bit of a pang at that, but he stuffed it down. “I… I told you. I don’t want to leave.” He watched Mizar bend down, flip her bag over, and start shaking everything out of it. The blood from her head was dripping now; she seemed to have completely forgotten about bandaging it. “Uh, what are you…?”

“Get in.”

“Get in what?” He blinked as she tossed the bag at him. “What? I won’t fit!”

“Magic. It’s bigger on the inside.” Mizar stalked towards him. “Get in, I’ll carry you out.”

“But-”

Mizar punched him in the mouth. Biquil remembered it like a shot of pain and then he was on the floor, stars dancing across his vision. He tried to blink open his eyes, and saw Mizar looming over him like the shadow of a giant.

“I am so, fucking, SICK OF PLAYING NICE FOR YOU!” She drove her foot into his chest. “Do you think I’m some sort of joke? That you’re just gonna come in here and tear my shit up and walk all over me? Fuck you! FUCK YOU!”

She kicked him again, and he recoiled from her. She grabbed his shoulder and wrenched him up to her.

“Look at me.” Mizar seized his stinging jaw. “Look at me! You’re gonna get in this bag, you’re gonna get off this ship, and you’re gonna pray to god that I don’t see your shitty UL face again because I will do something terrible to you. I will. Is that clear?”

Biquil stared into her eyes, and could only imagine he was seeing the face of pure evil. Her breath was rancid, and her blood was running down the side of her grimy face and dripping onto him. He couldn’t breathe; he could barely manage a single, terrified nod.

“Okay.” She took a breath. Her eyes flitted down, and then wandered up to meet his again. “Can you stand?”

He nodded, but he struggled to get his legs underneath him. She made a face and hoisted him up herself.

“Alright…” Mizar said, and brushed him off a little. She didn’t look him in the eyes. “Alright. Now… just get in the bag, okay?”

This time, she didn’t have to ask twice. He quickly stumbled over and drew the bag around him, then winced as she hoisted it up over her shoulder. His face, his ribs - he tried to cradle them as best he could, but with every little movement they sent out sharp shots of pain. It stank in the bag, too; maybe he was a little grateful now everything hurt so much, because it didn’t occur to him at the time to wonder what had been stashed in here before him.

No, in the utter darkness, all he tried to make out were sounds from the outside. Mizar’s feet, pounding on the metal. The beeps of doors as she walked through them. The odd chatter of passing pirates. They seemed to get to a place with a lot more voices; Mizar took a hard turn right, and then-

“Hey, you! Mizar!”

Jig. Biquil perked up at that voice.

“Where you going? We’re leaving in less than a trentile, and… what’s in that bag?” A dark chuckle. “Don’t tell me you’ve got other plans.”

Mizar stopped, and turned around. She didn’t say anything for a moment, and he could feel her swaying a bit, like she was suddenly way too drunk to stand.

“Hey, you listening to me? What are you, stupid?”

“Huh?”

“I said what’s in the bag!”

There was a pause, and then… “The kid. Biqop or whatever.”

He blinked. What?

“Yeah,” she said, and dropped him to the floor. “Came back to my room, and the body - whoo - it was already leaking and stinking up the place and all that junk. Gotta dump it out before we jump; oh, hey, wanna take a look?”

“Eugh!” He could hear Jig take a step back. “No! Why the fuck would I want to look at that, you gross little-”

“Because you’re gonna be in here too some day.”

“Wh… i-is that a threat?”

“I dunno. Maybe.” She picked up the bag again. “Enjoy yourself. You know I’ll be back before we leave.”

Then she walked away, and there wasn’t another word from Jig. He could feel the air change as they walked off the ship; Mizar was still going somewhere, and he wasn’t sure where that was until they went through a door and stopped.

“Alright.” She set the bag down, and uncovered him. They were in a bathroom. “Seems like I can let you out here. Come with me.”

“What?” Biquil frowned. “Where?”

“I saw a sign as I was walking over here.” Mizar took off her shawl and placed it gently in her bag. A bandage was now tied around her head, he noticed. She offered a hand. “C’mon, I’ll do you a favour.”

He was a little dubious of that, but he took her hand and let her lead him out of the bathroom. He’d seen the ODDIK station before; the pirate ship was stationed in a pretty seedy part of it, with grime on the walls and neon neurovertisments flashing at him through a crowd of shadows. Mizar kept her hand on him as she led him out, past doors and through hallways, into a different part that looked a tiny bit more cleaned up. There, she stopped and took a look around.

“What are you looking for?” Biquil asked. He saw her snap her fingers and start walking towards a man leaning by a docking station. “Who’s he?”

Mizar gave a sunny smile. “Mr Mazul?”

“Yeah?”

“Hi, we saw your ad about asteroid miners! Sorry about the look - just got out of work, at the mines. Long shifts and all that, you know how it is.”

He blinked. “Oh? Where do you work? On planet?”

Biquil saw her freeze a little at that. “Uh, yeah, sure, at…”

“There’s a uranium mine in the Polar Neighborhoods,” Biquil supplied. The man nodded.

“Oh, yeah! My cousin works there! Jedislef Mazul, you know him?”

Mizar nodded. “Yeah, uh, I think that rings a bell. Yeah, it’s a good job. It’s good pay, uh, honest work… but anyway! We’re not here for me, we’re here-” She wrapped an arm around Biquil. “-for my nephew!”

He blinked at that. Mazul looked over at him.

“What’s your name, son?”

“Biquilage.” He paused. “Uh, Astradust.”

“Alright. And how old are you?”

“He’s seventeen,.” Mizar said. “but he’s a very good worker, very driven.” Her grin turned wry. “Heh, honestly, sometimes it’s annoying how hard he works to get stuff done sometimes, you just wanna punch him in the face!”

Biquil awkwardly rubbed his chin as the man wrote something down. He looked up at Mizar, and she winked at him. He didn’t know how to interpret that.

“Okay…” Mazul started. “Just to clarify, we’re asteroid miners. We go out for cycles at a time, so you’ll go long periods without seeing your family. That okay with you?”

“That’s okay.” He made a face. “That’s… yeah. That’s okay with me.”

“Alright, then. We’re going out tomorrow, so actually it’s great you stopped by; we were hoping to get a few more onboard before then.” He extended a hand. “Welcome to the team, Biquilage.”

“Oh… oh, thank you!” Biquil took it. “That’s great! Tomorrow?”

“Yeah, we’ll go over the details with all the new hires tomorrow. Just show up here at 11th trentile, and don’t be late, okay?”

“O-okay! I won’t!”

He felt Mizar clap his back. “And voila!” She said, and the smile on her face was wide and genuine. “Nice, kid! It’s that easy!”

“Yes, it was good to meet you, Biquilage, and…” The man looked to Mizar. “Oh, I don’t think I got your name.”

Mizar blinked. “My name?”

“Yeah.”

“Uhhh…” She seemed genuinely caught off guard; Biquil could see her search for a name, but in the end what came out of her mouth was: “Martha. Martha, uh, Astrapuff.”

“Astradust.”

“I knew that,” she said, a little distantly. “Was just making a joke. Let’s go.”

They walked a little ways away, and Biquil didn’t quite know what to do now. Mizar’s arm was still around his shoulders; he tried to extract himself, and that was when she seemed to come back to herself a bit.

“Uh,” She drew her arm back, and dug into her pocket. “Hey, one more thing.”

Mizar drew her hand out, counted a couple crumpled credits, then handed them over.

“This’ll probably get you a room for tonight. Won’t be the nicest, but hopefully that don’t bother you.” She flashed a smile. “You’ve slept in worse places.”

“Thanks?” He looked up at her. “Why are you - this is your money!”

“Eh, as long as you don’t ask the people I took it from.”

“But… why are you being so nice to me? What’s in it for you?”

“I dunno, what’s in it for you asking questions like that? You want me to take it back?” She laughed, but there was an edge to it. “Look, you’re all set up, I’m going now. Have a nice life.”

She started walking away. Biquil frowned. “Mizar?”

“Byyye!”

“Martha?”

Martha froze at that. Biquil saw her hesitate; her hands clenched a bit, her shoulders rose as she breathed, and then she turned around. There wasn’t quite a smile on her face as she spoke.

“It’s a nice fake name, right? I like it. Got a good ring to it.” Her smile fell a little. “Not my name, though. Doesn’t really fit, y’know, this.”

She chuckled, and hoisted her backpack up on her shoulder.

“Anyway,” she said. “Time for me to go. Bye, kid.”

Then Biquil watched Mizar turn, and walk out of the station without another word. She disappeared behind a bend in a hallway, and a part of him thought that was the last time he’d ever see her… and he didn’t. Not for decades.

Biquil spent his life mining asteroids, making friends, sending money back to his dad. He met, he married, he settled down somewhere far from ODDIK, and some nights when he tucked his kids into bed, his mind wandered back to that one dark night on the pirate ship, the night before he almost made the biggest mistake of his life.

The night Martha stepped in and turned him back. Saved all this. And that wasn’t to say she was good, or nice - even forty years on his jaw still clicked when he ate - but when he thought of her, he liked to imagine she’d caught a break at some point. Maybe she was living somewhere outside even the UL, getting to have a quiet life where no one bothered her and she could sleep peacefully at night. It wasn’t likely, but it made him feel a bit better when he looked around at all he had and knew how lucky he was not to end up just like her.

But, of course, he did see her again. For weeks the news broadcast her mugshot on every building of the UL, and Biquil could no longer imagine that she’d lead anything close to a comfortable life. She’d spent her life in piracy, and for the last five years she’d sat on death row before she got out and tore a final, bloody rampage through UL space.

That face. Those eyes. They haunted him for the rest of his days… because no one else could see what he saw in them. Some people said they were eerily blank, others described the calculated intelligence in them… none of them would just admit she looked tired. Really, really tired.

They did, didn’t they? I mean, wouldn’t you be tired after being sent to prison? She looked the same as she did when he first laid eyes on her across the dining room.

Like she just wanted to be left alone.

#transcendence au #toothwrites #dread pirate mizar #transcendence au in space

25 notes · View notes

mysticeyeliner · 3 years

Text

SA Fanfiction! Ilse getting help to heal from her friends! Part 1

Chapters 1-3, 2,921 words

IDK how to name fics lol but this gets it across. I’ve never posted fics before but I wanted to share this

Tw: Rape mentions, Abuse mentions, Alcoholism and drug addiction

Also includes homelessness, running away

"...Ilse?" Ilse glanced up from her spot in the dirt, seeing Anna standing with Moritz. They looked concerned. "Are you alright?" Anna asked. "I'm- I'm fine. Just hanging out before I leave again." "In the dirt?" Moritz asked. She ran her hands through the clover patch on the ground. "Picking flowers,' she said with a smile. "Can...Ilse, can you come with us for a moment? Moritz beckoned to her. She stood, concerned but too curious to say no. She really only paused to think. So maybe it was in a shadowed alley between two houses, but she hadn't been doing anything. Anna took her hand and smiled. She started swinging it like they were still young girls. Hell, Anna still had the same bows in her hair. They stepped up into her house, which always smelled of tea and fresh flowers. Moritz pulled out chairs from the table while Anna closed the door. Ilse suspiciously sat down and averted her eyes to the blue and pink embroidery of the tablecloth. "Can I make us all some tea?' Anna asked, already pulling out a jar of rose petals from a cabinet. That was the fancy stuff her mother always made when she had guests over, sometimes while they all played outside and only half tried to be quiet. Moritz nodded, and Anna began the rose tea. "We wanted to talk to you. About some stuff," he said. "What stuff? Are you planning something?" Ilse asked. "No, it's...you. We're worried about you. You haven't done anything wrong, but you're not Okay. I don't know what exactly you've been through, but the way you act, the things you say and do...it's not like the Ilse we know. We love you. But Priapia, being away from home...you're too lonely and you have trauma and addiction. I just, we want you to talk to us." Anna came around holding three steaming teacups in her fingers and a bowl of sugar. "We don't hate you, please don't think that, we just know somethings wrong. We're your friends. Please." Ilse stirred her fingers around in her pocket, brushing against the clovers she stuffed in it. "I- I don't know what to...to say." "Then drink." Anna passed her a teacup with marigolds painted on the base. Ilse took a sip, letting the warmth flood through her chest. Anna watched her, stirring several teaspoons of sugar into her own drink. "Martha got beaten. A lot." She looked down into her cup. "I don't know if I'm supposed to tell you thqat, but it's true. She hid it from us. I'll never understand why, but eventually Wendla up and reported her papa. Martha doesn't get hit anymore." Ilse had guessed. She'd seen it, in the long clothing she wore, her demeanor. it was the same as Ilse's own. Thank goodness it was over. "My father isn't a good one either. Nothing compared to what Martha went through, but...still. You're not alone, Ilse. Other people can understand your pain. You have no one to talk to back in that artists' colony, but we're here with you now." Ilse swallowed. She didn't prepare for this. Anna drank some tea, then stood up from her chair and positioned one behind Ilse. "Can you tell us what's happening?" "I- I don't want to burden you- I mean. I don't believe you really want to help me." Ilse's voice cracked. "Oh, we do, trust me," Moritz smiled. "This is all we want to do today. You're not burdening us, I promise we want to be here, listening to and helping you." Anna started gently pulling her fingers through Ilse's hair. About half of them caught on tangles that Ilse rarely bothered to brush out herself. Anna got to work, gently unknotting them. "It's..it's a Lot. I'm used to it by now. The drinking, the smoking..." "Is that all there is?" Anna asked. Ilse brushed her sleeve against her nose. "No." She squeezed her eyes shut. Moritz gently grabbed her hand. "I- I wish I could say I'm used to the violation. The..." She opened her eyes. "But sometimes, all the time, I'm not. Sometimes they start pulling me back to their beds and I'm too drunk to know better, or only enough to know what will happen if I resist. Sometimes they just push me against their walls and there's nothing I can do. Once, the first time, I tried to hit him back, and I ended up with a black eye sleeping out in the freezing cold for two nights. It's a miracle no one killed me then or worse. But every time, I can't stop wondering if I deserve it, thinking maybe it was on purpose. Maybe I wanted it and there's just something sickly wrong with me. Like it's all my fault and I can't blame anyone but myself." A tear fell. "Ilse," Anna said gently. "I know that's not true. I know who you are. You would never. It's those men, they're sick. You're, Lord, you're only fifteen. You were, what, thirteen then?" Ilse nodded. Moritz handed her her teacup. "Wendla was raped. I wish it wasn't true, but it is. She never asked for that. She didn't know what was happening. But I see her ask herself every day if she wanted it. From what I hear, it wasn't clear. But I really don't think she consented to that. No victim deserves to doubt themselves every day, no one deserves to ask if they secrelty desired trauma. But I think, maybe they all do. Look, Wendla is kind and young and caring. She would never ask for that." Anna said, "And you're wild and hopeful and just trying to be free and safe. Please, try and believe us, you didn't deserve that, no matter what you did." Ilse started crying. Moritz reached out and she grabbed him in a hug. He held on tight to her. "You're our friend. We never want you to be hurt again." "That's what they'll do when I go back," she sobbed. "They'll beat me too. They'll get me drunk and make me pose naked and get me high and there's nothing I can do about it." "Stay with us tonight," Anna said, putting a hand on Ilse's knee. "I'll keep you safe in my sister's old bedroom. Or you can come into mine, if you'd like." "They're expecting me back. They won't like it if I'm not." "They won't find you. I promise, Ilse. You never have to go back there," Moritz said. Ilse put her cup down. "I don't deserve your protection." "Yes you do. And it would mean the world to me if you just spent the night here." She looked Anna in the eyes. Ilse couldn't understand every emotion she felt. Still, she told her yes. ====== Ilse stood in Anna's washroom, washing her face off and looking in the mirror. Not the worst she'd seen herself. And at least her hair looked nicer. She felt the heavy prescence in her boot and pulled it out. A flask mostly filled with liquor. She couldn't keep doing this. She always told herself she wasn't a drunk, she couldn't be, but the flask would beg to differ. God, she didn't know if she could get over this. "Ilse?" A call from down the stairs. She set the flask on the counter and went to see Moritz. "I'm gonna go now. I'll be back tomorrow?" She smiled and hugged him. "Of course. And, I'm sorry about your dad. Is there anything I can do?" He grimaced and shook his head no. Then he squeezed her hand and said, "Don't let Anna put bows in your hair. She's tempting, but it isn't worth it." He shuddered. Both girls waved him goodbye. As soon as Moritz closed the door, Ilse said, "He's the next project, right?" "I don't think of you as a project, Ilse. But, I'm not sure there's much I can do to help him. He just failed school, he doesn't have many places to go..." "Christ, I forgot about that. I with I could help him." "He's doing okay. Better than you have been. Now come here." Anna beckoned for her to sit on the rug in the living room with her. She held a notepad and a pencil. "Mama gets home in an hour. We can have supper then. But what do you want to do after that?" "...Do we need to do much?" "Yes! I'm here to make you feel better, so we're gonna talk some, especially with Moritz again tomorrow, maybe Wendla, but for now? It's sleepover time." Ilse groaned that she had been pulled into this. But Anna played the mother half the times they played house as kids, so at least her stay would be comfortable. "Wanna come to my room?" Anna asked. "Sure." Ilse followed her up the stairs to a room with pink curtains and a bed covered in stuffed animals. "Oh, is this Soby?" she asked, picking up an old pink bunny. "I still sleep with him every night," Anna said proudly. She carefully moved every animal off the bed onto her floor. "Do you want to sleep here tonight, with me? I have plenty of blankets." Ilse was hesitant. "I don't want to intrude." "Please! I want to make sure you feel safe." She began smoothing her sheets out. Ilse moved to look out her window for a minute. "They're not going to find you, Ilse. And they won't be mad at you. As long as you never go back, that is." Ilse sighed and pressed her head against the glass. What was she going to do? "They don't deserve you. For anything. No one does, really." Anna came up and put a gentle hand on Ilse's shoulder. "I'm honored to have you as my guest, Miss." She swept into a curtsy. "For now, the best you can do is just stay here for the night. And a good long sleep in my very comfy bed will help you." "Okay," Ilse breathed. She walked over and picked up Soby, staring into her stitched on eyes. "For now, if you're not too tired..." Anna opened the door to her closet. Inside were numerous dresses with ruffles and bows. She grinned evilly at Ilse. "Noooo!" Ilse ran from her as Anna pulled a purple dress from inside and chased after her. --- Ilse was caught and turned into a doll for Anna. She was grumpily adorned in the purple dress, which had flower details on its sleeves, much like everything here. But before Anna could start on the rest of her, Anna's mother got home. "Oh! Mama, Ilse's staying here for the night. We're having a sleepover." Ilse emerged in her pouffy dress with an exaggerated frown. "Be nice to that poor girl." Frau Wheelan shook her head and started cooking supper. "She doesn't need to know why," Anna said softly, taking Ilse's hand. "But in the meantime..." Anna lifted part of Ilse's hair. Ilse dashed away from her saying no with a smile. Frau Wheelan called her daughter down to help with dinner. Ilse looked down at this princess dress again and craved a hit. No. No, she couldn't think like that. She had to stop. Soon enough it was suppertime. "Go clean your hands!" Anna's mother told them both. Ilse helped set the table while Anna went up to the washroom. "Ilse, it's been a while since I've seen you, dear." "Yeah, I haven't been up to much. It's lovely to see you, though." Her mother smiled and went to bring the food out. Anna came out of the washroom looking a little uncomfortable, sad maybe. Ilse was going to ask about it, but Anna saw food and her face lit up. "Let's eat!" Frau Wheelan declared. ===== They had pieces of seasoned chicken to eat. Despite disliking this dress, Ilse was sure to not drop anything on it. "Ilse, where have you been all this time?" Frau Wheelan asked. "Um...I'm living with some artists. Splitting rent." "Oh! Do you paint?" "I do." Ilse blushed. "And how's life treating you?" Ilse turned even redder. "Mama, can we not shower her in questions? Tell me how I should do her hair with this gown." "Please, she looks miserable...but some bows wouldn't hurt..." "Ooh, can we make hot chocolate after dinner? I wanna put on fuzzy socks and tell stories by the fire before bed." "Of course. Just make sure to go to bed at a reasonable hour." When they cleared their plates and Anna and her mother put dishes away (Ilse was quickly dismissed from the task) and Frau Wheelan went to go read, Anna went to the washroom again and came down to talk to Ilse. "Sorry she asked all that. You definitely don't need to give her details. She's just excited to see you." "It's okay. I'd be curious too." Ilse glanced at a clock. "Ilse, be honest with me...is this yours?" Ilse turned and saw Anna pull out the flask. Which she has left in the washroom. "Um..." Her silence said enough. Anna's voice got sad and quiet. "Look, I'm not trying to judge you. i just need to know how often you do this. How often you drink. Is it a serious problem? Do you need it?" "I...I wish I could say that wasn't mine. I don't want to be a drunk. I just, I'm so used to it...to always being a little inebriated...it makes it harder to feel the pain." "Are you wounded? Is that the pain?" "No." Ilse looked down sadly. "Okay. I'm here to help you. With everything. Any problem you have." "I have a lot. I'm not sure you want to get involved." "You're my friend. I'm always gonna be here for you." Anna touched Ilse's face. "If it makes you feel better, you can help me in return by letting me style your hair." --- Two braided pigtails later, Anna and Ilse were sitting around Anna's fireplace drinking hot chocolate. Ilse had socks on her feet for the first time in years, covering the blisters she was always getting. "No one's cared for me so well in a while." "Well, they should. You deserve it. You've always deserved it. Just wait until I make you take a bubble bath." It had been many years since she'd had one of those. "Wendla is hopefully coming tomorrow. Maybe Martha too. We can talk and figure something out for you. You don't need to go back there." "...I left my paint back there." "I'll buy new paints for you. I have some here. They're old, from a phase, but they should work in the meantime." Ilse smiled. "Thank you. It means a lot." "Of course. And might I just say, you look lovely." "Not my style, but thank you." "We'll all get you clothes you like. That show who you are. Until we figure that out, you can use mine. Your green dress needs a lot of cleaning anyway." "It's fine." "You sat in the dirt in it today." Ilse got closer to Anna until they shared a blanket. "We can go to bed whenever you want, okay? I'm pretty blind to other people's fatigue." Ilse nodded and continued watching the fire. ---- Anna offered her a light blue nightgown, this one without any embellishments. Ilse changed in the washroom, watching herself in the mirror. She hadn't seen herself look this nice- this well-treated- in years. Since even before she left for Priapia. Her brushed, styled hair and not-cheap dress just for sleeping in, her stomach filled from eating right... This didn't feel like her anymore. Maybe the old version of her wasn't right, and she was meant to be a dirty teenage artist who spent her nights between the beds of men and women that she would have to treat with respect the next day. "There's a spare toothbrush and paste in the drawer!" Anna called. A commodity she didn't have for the last two years. The paste tasted weird in her mouth, but, knowing she was doing something good for herself, cleaning herself, it meant something. A small change. A good change. She washed her face again and came back to Anna's room. It had electric lights as well as candle jars with flickering painted roses on them. Anna sat on her bed, adorned in a pink nightgown with plenty of bows. "I got you a glass of water," she said with a yawn. "Now come on in here." Anna turned out her lights, leaving the candles glowing. Ilse followed her, sitting on the cushy bed, facing the door. Faint moonlight shone through the window. Anna pulled out a sleep mask and placed it on her own head. "I'll tuck you in." Ilse slid under the soft covers and layed her head back. These pillows were better quality than she was used to. Anna reached over and pulled the covers up to Ilse's shoulders, then tucked herself in right next to her and pulled the mask down. "Goodnight. I'll see you in the morning," Anna yawned again. "See you," Ilse whispered. A glowing bedroom, goodnights, precious quiet. Someone softly falling sleep next to her, who wouldn't do anything to her. She missed it. Still, she needed something else. Ilse sat up and grabbed Soby with her fingertips, pulling her up by the ears. The soft bunny felt nice in her arms. She tucked herself back in and snuggled the bunny until she slept.

#big text tw #rape mention tw #abuse mention tw #alcoholism tw #drug addiction tw #fanfiction #my fics #spring awakening #Ilse neumann #sa #anna wheelan #moritz stiefel #I haven't worked on this in a few days so I hope it's good #also I have designs of the dresses but it includes one from the wip chapter so im not sharing it yet

7 notes · View notes