#‘but what about when your associate who corrects ppl about your gender is not there with you?’ still lie probably

[starburstdragon]

The great thing about having a cool sister is that we can gaslight people about my gender together. Someone will mess up my gender and my sister will be like “oh no he just has a baby face” and then everyone is like “oh sorry my mistake :(“ every time. If your gender doesn’t need regular correcting to strangers but you have a regular associate whose does I highly recommend this tactic

[neuropoppins]

NEURO CRITICAL

NEURO CRITICAL - understanding Neurological Reality and Neurological Differences between Brains

GENDER CRITICAL - understanding Biological Reality and Biological Differences between Sexes

NEURO CRITICAL 

Understanding Neurological Differences between Brains

Acknowledgment that Brains Matter

Builds the foundation for all neurological understanding, education, advocacy, rights, eg. Autism Advocacy

People cannot change brains

Neuro Affirming Care affirms that you are your neurology and doesn’t try to “fix” it, instead it embraces acceptance 

This is called Neurological Reality

This is not Neurophobia

Evidence based. 

A conversation between a Neuro Critical person and a Neuro-denier:

What’s the difference between an Autistic person and a Narcissist? 

“Nothing! You’re not allowed to talk about differences, that’s neurophobic! You bigot!”

What about the differences between Autism and Schizophrenia? You know, so you can treat them with the correct support or medication? Is it okay to be Neuro Critical in these circumstances? 

“No, you right wing monster! You’re not being progressive!” 

Am I allowed an Autism-only space where I am free to associate with other autistic people and be free from stigma? 

“No, for god’s sake are you not listening!? People who are not autistic reserve the right to invade those spaces and there’s nothing you can do about it!”

Oh shit, looks like all the Autism Advocates are about to be in big trouble! Turns out they’ve been pedaling a false narrative that autism exists and is somehow different to things that are not autistic. Oops! All that research gone to waste! They best start denying everything they know before they get found out for being bigots! STOP AUTISM ADVOCACY! It’s not inclusive to people who are not autistic! 

People who advocate for Autism are what we call Neuro Critical, and this means they believe there are differences between brains and that you can’t change brains and that brains matter in certain circumstances. EVIL BASTARDS! They must be stopped from spreading this hateful rhetoric! Join me in the latest Social Justice Movement by spreading the word that Neuro Critical = Neurophobia. Let’s not allow them to spread hate and misinformation about brains! It’s bad for society and we don’t need to accept the brains we’re born with, nor should being born autistic matter - it doesn’t! I don’t recognize your autism at all! That would make me neurophobic wouldn’t it? Duh! 

*****

Imagine if we told autistic people that people who understand the difference between autistic ppl and neurotypical ppl (Neuro Critical) is akin to hate? Autistic ppl wouldn't stand a chance at forging connections with other people in society if they thought neuro critical was hateful and bigoted. Nor would they be able to advocate for autism if it was classified as Neurophobia to talk about autism and exclude neurotypicality from autism research or autism-only spaces. Neuro Critical in this sense builds the foundation that enables Autism Advocacy - highlighting the neurological differences between autistic and neurotypical so we can provide tailored, appropriate support when and where necessary. (OMG, such a confusing concept, it must be phobia! It's just like those transphobic Gender Critical’s talking about biology and stuff!). 

Autism Advocates need to join in the conversations and not shut down Gender Critical Autistic Voices, especially if that is because you are misinformed about what gender critical is. (Does seeing this comparison between NEURO CRITICAL & GENDER CRITICAL help you see how perfectly ordinary it is and based in reality, not phobia?)

We should be engaging with each other and having meaningful discussions, respectful arguing of points and nuanced perspectives that allow for open dialogue and curious minds to come together and learn.

*

You may be wondering why I left the word IMMUTABLE out of this?

Gender Critical talks about the immutability of sex. This is not the same in brains.

“No, the brain is not immutable…but is instead a dynamic organ that changes throughout life. This process is known as neuroplasticity, which is the brain's ability to adapt, evolve, and grow throughout life. The brain's ability to change is due to its ability to grow new nerve connections in response to sensory stimulation from the environment. This process can be seen in many ways, such as when someone learns a new language, recovers from an injury, or adapts to a new environment. The brain's health can also be improved by making certain lifestyle choices, such as: Eating a healthy diet, Getting enough sleep, Exercising regularly, Relaxing the mind, and Building a network of friends and family.” Brains, unlike sex, are not immutable. Brains are neuroplastic which means they can change, such as they can repair themselves after injury/trauma, we can learn and expand and create new neural pathways etc. However, we cannot for example stop being autistic. Nor can someone turn into an autistic person. Nor should we ever deny a patient's autism when helping them. We ARE autistic neurologically and THAT cannot be changed. My words on this image are in reference to neuro affirming care for autistic ppl which works WITH your autism, not against it. Autism therapies used to be based on helping you be more neurotypical (as in, less autistic aka conversion therapy) which was harmful to autistic ppl. This is not talking about therapy for things like overcoming trauma, unlearning bad behaviours, help with OCD, etc, which we can help to change through therapy and with the helpful reality of our brains being neuroplastic to allow these changes with practice. The only way you can help your brain is by accepting it, understanding it and working with it and appropriately pushing it to get better. We wouldn’t deny a depressed person is depressed, we would seek to understand their depression and help them learn new ways to get through depression and build new neural pathways to a healthier mental health. We wouldn’t deny an autistic person is autistic. We work with reality and grow and expand from there. Gender affirming care goes against biology and affirms we are not our biology - which is harmful. At no point ever has a person biologically changed sex. They are not plastic like brains with the ability to change like that - just like you can’t change from autistic to not autistic.

[svankmajerbaby]

You wrote in a recent post that you consider yourself ugly. I disagree, but would you speak more about that, and your thoughts on the beauty/ugliness binary?

well mostly im fascinated by just how much beauty is valued in all societies... and especially as globalization continues to homogeneize the world beauty standards are becoming more... hegemonic i guess? also how beauty varies so much between men and women and at the same time beauty in men can be so commercialized but it's so much more subtle and less obvious than with women, at least so far... like we're not even there when men are pressured to wear makeup 24/7 and always look put together but effortlessly so like women are pressured to... and it's not like i really want that, some ppl may say that that is how we can achieve equality in some sense but just bc men get the same ridiculous expectations it's like.... hm. not groovy

and then we get into the whole deal of how beauty is so gendered, like, beauty is considered to be the Perfect Amount of Femininity/Masculinity performed, and if you don't mix them up to a precise amount you can be considered ugly.... and then the issue of body size and shape bc one of the reasons i feel so ugly is bc i don't have the sort of body i feel i should have, like my body itself isn't beautiful as it should be as dictated by societal laws............

and then bringing it back to the snow white tale, issues like bonkers diets and food disorders to Have That Body society tells u to, and how then it commodifies the "guilty pleasures", how a celebrity with the money to Have That Body that indulges in "normal behavior" like eating junk food or dressing down is considered relatable.......

and Then we get into uglyness and. how historically ugliness was this thing associated with the societal outcasts. the sick, the disabled, the foreigners, any other ethnicities at all, and of course the people who didn't perform gender expectations in the correct way........ then there's also how ugliness can become a fetish, it reminds me a lot of The Grinning Man and how this upperclass lady was super horny for the main character just because he had face scars... and then idk there's a whole thing about ppl who fetishize scars too, and that sort of harm, or ppl with disabilities and it's just. even ugliness or lack of hegemonic beauty, even if you somehow trascend the desire to become beautiful, can't save you from societal pressures to become something to be owned or taken by someone else. that's kind of what beauty and ugliness is all about, about where you are lifted or lowered in a societal scale where beautiful people may be at the top but they're also in such a fragile position, since there's where they both are owned by everyone who wants that beauty and also with how shortlived beauty really is, which is part of the main aspects of beauty i think, like, how being old is definitely not considered something beautiful and youth is similarly fetishized but it's so shortlived but that's one of its big characteristics, just how shortlived it is and how ephemeral it is and how that lack of permanence makes it even more coveted and valued.........

idk theres a lot of things i want to talk about

[vlovers19]

Someone on twitter said that : """My favorite thing about this interview is that Tae clearly STILL doesn't understand why he couldn't sing this song with his bestie. I love a man who doesn't conflate platonic love with sex/romance.""" And it makes me so angry for 2 reason: - they think Tae is dumb - thinking this song is platonic bc he wanted to sing it with a man is heteronormative Ppl need to stop using the word platonic to erase the possibility of a romance btw the same gender.

When I saw this ask, I got quite angry and I realized that if any member of BTS dares to come out as gay, they are doomed.

I see Heteronomativity as a view that seeks to discriminate against all other sexualities and I'm not just saying this because of vmin. People of this view feel that the best form of love is between people with different genders and I believe that they are correct in their own right but when you start eliminating the possibility of two people having a different sexuality other than yours, it becomes a problem.

Just like how everything Vmin does is classified as 'what a great friendship', Taehyung writing that Christmas duet song will definitely look like it's platonic when obviously it's not.

Do you know that Vmin is the only ship in Bts that is tagged with the friendship label despite everything they do? Namjin, Sope, Yoonkook, Taegi and so many others are even viewed romantically. People hardly use the 'friend' tag with them but with Vmin, it's the first label you see associated with them. No one even wants to give them a chance. That's why as a vmin shipper, you'll find yourself getting angry almost everytime you click on the internet and search on vmin. It's really not encouraging.

I have learned with time not to get easily angry over such views because I just see it as a propaganda used to quiet vmin no matter how loud they get. The situation is just like being trapped in a tight prison. When you manage to find a way to escape, the jailers always find you and keep you locked back in prison.

One thing I have asked myself is why are Vmin so different? Why are they the only ones with the friendship label tagged on them? Yes, they see each other as friends but why can't people see there might be a possibility that friendship isn't all that's going on between them especially when you take into consideration the things they do but every light moment done by the more popular ship is taken very seriously. When vmin does their weird soulmate thing, no one will bat an eye lid because people would cook up one reason or the other not to believe what they saw but let the popular ships do it and there is an instant uproar.

The fact that they won't even consider vmin could be as a result of denial. Like i said before, people want to believe what they want. They want to believe that Taehyung is straight but when they are presented with some evidences that he may not be as straight as they think, they will want to bury it, deny it or cover it up. As you pointed out, Taehyung isn't a fool. He knew what he was aiming for by telling people about the Christmas song but they just turned it around to suit themselves, to suit their own beliefs so Taehyung probably felt defeated and decided to just keep his song to himself.

So that you can keep enjoying vmin, ignore what people say no matter how annoying it is. We have to understand that not everyone will have the same opinion and if you belong to the LGBTQ community or you are just a supporter, you have to be extra strong and believe in vmin's bond because we know the truth. That they care about one another very much and somehow, I think they want us to know too.

Anyway, thanks for reading. I answered this ask in the spur of the moment. Have a good day and remember 95z is love.

[wigglecoin]

1/4 so, i get why h/h lesbians identify the way they do - pronouns do not have to always equal gender, it's a form of gnc, and they're uncomfortable with the concept of womanhood, as it's been associated with attraction to men among other things. correct me if i'm wrong. now, i support ppl who deal w gender issues, but i admit that it kinda rubs me the wrong when i look at the arguments people make about gender in relation to lesbianism specifically

2/4 i think the concept of womanhood should be redefined. it shouldn't mean any of those things it's been associated with. i'm sure that is what h/h lesbians are fighting for too, but I don't feel that using traditionally male pronouns is the way to go about it. historically speaking, women didn't use traditionally male pronouns because they wanted to, they did because they had to

3/4 what i'm saying is that the origin of h/h lesbians is rooted in the need to conform to social expectations of women and what it means to be one. so the way i see it, for us to do that today in a form of rebellion is doing nothing else but playing into those views that we want to get away from.

4/4 those are harmful ideas at the core and it makes me question what i support. is this a false sense of security that i'm encouraging by being accepting of people making their own choices in how they identify? so yeah :( i guess what i'm looking for is more insight on this? i want to understand. and if this made you uncomfortable then i apologize :(

ok so i read this over a couple times and i think i get what your trying to say? like, people shouldnt base their identity around some point they want to make about society is what im getting from your statements. that seems like a reasonable thing to be concerned about, something you should keep in mind though is that the revolution against gender roles is often only one of the reasons people are gnc. explaining the history of he/him lesbians is normally something we do as a form of trying to defend ourselves from people who try to debate our identiy, its also one of the easier things to explain about our identity to people. its a lot easier for people understand those things when the culture around it’s shape is so straight and narrow so to speak

the fear of lesbians treading so far from heteronormativity only to begin to achive the same end has been something people have thought about with the butch/femme dynamic a lot in i feel the same way you are viewing he/him lesbians, obviously no lesbians are ‘trying to be male’ but follow me on this thought train for a little bit

for a long time butches were seen as lesbians trying to be like men by the general public. as the times got more progressive this idea hasnt really changed for the most part in outer circles, its just been more accepted as how some lesbians are, which brings up questions of ‘if we’re acting straight so much why dont we just be straight?’  and ‘which one wears the pants in the relationship’, ultimately viewing lesbians to be like straight people but they’re both girls

but for the same reasons thats absolutely not true for butch women, it isnt going to be true for he/him lesbians, i understand the fear of playing into those views by taking more masculine traits and claiming them for wlw. but honestly. people who think that way in 2020 should start having smaller stuff explained to them first before they get to he/him lesbians. 

deconstructing gender roles was always going to get confusing at some point for everyone, so its nice to see people along for the ride even if they dont get it. and as a note for everyone to remember, there is no one way to break gender roles. just because what i am has that effect doesnt mean anyone has to be ok with using other pronouns to go against it 

[edwardsvirginity]

a short(er) twilight-themed guide to my dissertation on memes

for anyone who wants to know why and how i wrote 8k words of academic theory on memes, but doesn’t actually want to read 8k words of academic theory on memes

so to begin with, a meme is really hard to define. this part is pretty boring if you don’t care about linguistics, so just take my word for it. i ask a lot of questions like “is a meme still a meme if” (no one shares it, no one makes different versions of it, there’s no standard format for it) and the answer is “sometimes! but we can’t tell you when!” and i also ask “how do you know when you’re looking at a meme?” to which the answer is “you just do! except when you don’t. that happens too.”

so basically, memes are like porn, you know them when you see them

then i talk about why it’s hard to study memes. this is fairly obvious if you think about it. imagine trying to find out the source of a random meme. and then every iteration of that meme anyone has ever made. then how popular each iteration got. how one iteration inspired another. how many times each iteration is reposted by someone else without credit. THEN, attempt to do that for every meme in existence. actually, just try and get a definitive count of how many memes exist. then, realizing that’s impossible, attempt to choose a “random” selection of memes to study not influenced by your personal online world. attempt to study memes that you don’t even know exist bc they don’t exist within your highly-customized online world. basically, memes are a rabbit hole and i don’t even pretend to do any sort of formal semi-comprehensive study, because i do not hate myself.

ok, moving on. i’m actually trying to write this post based on what I remember from my dissertation, which i haven’t reread in... a while. but i like to think i have a fairly good grasp of it bc i wrote it.

so basically the most important part about memes is that they function on at least 2 levels. let’s say there’s an active level and a passive level. the active level is the conversation you THINK you’re having when engaging with a meme. the clearly stated point/idea of the meme. the passive level is all the assumptions a meme is making in the background that, if you are not actively challenging, you are endorsing.

let’s see some examples.

this is a meme *i* made, so i’m gonna put myself on blast here

So the active level of this meme is the text/the point i’m trying to make, which is basically that bella is horny. but like, so horny that she’s willing to throw everything else in her life under the bus for some sexual satisfaction. i feel like this is fairly clear and most people interacting with the meme would consider that what the meme is about. we’re having a conversation about bella’s insatiable thirst for sparkling penis when we engage with this meme. 

sort of an in-between level that provides us with further information about the point i’m trying to make is context for the meme/meme format. this meme format is about someone choosing between a good thing and a bad thing. they’ve got the good thing, but they’re tempted by/indulging in the bad thing anyway. it’s fairly reasonable to come to the conclusion that i’m judging bella, when you combine the meme context with the actual text. i’m not only interpreting bella’s behavior here (she eschews her loved ones for sexual gratification), i’m also giving it moral value, labeling yeeting herself onto that dick = bad, building/maintaining relationships with friends and family = good. however, if you’re not familiar with this meme and it’s format, the fact that i’m throwing shade at bella is less clear, even if you understand how i’m interpreting her behavior. 

now on to the passive level of the meme. this meme makes some ASSUMPTIONS, and in engaging with the meme you’re validating those assumptions as “how this thing is/how the world works”. so here are a FEW of the assumptions this meme makes: 1. this is a man with his girlfriend checking out another girl. 2. the girlfriend is angry/jealous of her boyfriend expressing interest in another woman 3. everyone in this photo is heterosexual 4. men are always checking out other women/otherwise unfaithful, and this is normal/funny 5. this “couple” is monogamous 6. the “boyfriend” is relatable and we understand and condone his actions 7. maintaining a relationship with the “girlfriend” is a good decision and pursuing the girl in red would be a bad one

these assumptions might seem fairly clear, obvious, and straightforward, but they are ultimately, assumptions. we know NOTHING about the people in this photo and are projecting relationships on them. and clearly, we’re projecting some pretty intense gender and relationship roles on to them. and it’s necessary to accept those gender and relationship roles as “truth” long enough to understand the meme, because otherwise the meme wouldn’t make any sense, because the person who made it (me) made it with the understanding that you would be operating with the same set of assumptions about these people and their relationships as I am. understanding of what i’m trying to say with this meme is dependent on understanding and accepting the assumptions i’m handing you with it. 

and again, these ARE assumptions. take away the text, and there could be plenty of things going on in this photo. it’s possible none of these people are in romantic relationships, and this is a guy with his friend/family member, and they like to hold hands. this guy could be whistling at a dog he sees on the sidewalk because he wants to pet it, and the girl in blue is mad because they’re in a hurry. the girl in red could be his ACTUAL girlfriend, whose self esteem he’s boosting, and the girl in blue could be some random girl who wants his attention. this could be a couple in an open relationship, but the girlfriend is in the middle of an argument with this guy about something else. the guy could have shoulder checked the girl in red and is looking back to say sorry, and the girl in blue is mad bc shoulder checking this poor girl was a rude af thing to do. 

the reason why we don’t think any of those things ^^ upon seeing this meme is bc we live in the patriarchy. however, unfortunately, by sharing this meme uncritically, we’re also reinforcing the passive ideas within it, that men are unfaithful and it’s no big deal, that women are always competing with each other, that heterosexuality and monogamy are standard and correct. 

let’s look at another meme.

i didn’t make this one, i found it on a really cringy list of (old) twilight memes

active level of this meme: kristen stewart never smiles

in-between context level: this is the “most interesting man in the world” meme, where, bc he’s so interesting, he rarely has time to do normal things, and when he does them, he does them in a weird way. so according to this meme, kristen rarely smiles, and when she does, she does it in a weird way

passive level: kristen stewart SHOULD smile, and the fact that she doesn’t is weird/bad. WHY she doesn’t smile, and WHY she should, is left to viewer interpretation, but the implication is she’s doing something wrong. this meme wants you to fill in the blanks with the idea that kristen stewart is a bad actress because she doesn’t smile. it also reinforces the idea that women are SUPPOSED to smile and not be serious all the time. you could even go so far as to assume this meme is condemning bella’s character as a whole for being overdramatic and not smiling, playing into the narrative that women are hysterical and get upset about things that aren’t a big deal, and we shouldn’t take them seriously. personally, i think kristen’s acting in twilight was spot-on and super nuanced, and it was true to bella’s character that she didn’t smile often. i also think that kristen as a person smiles a reasonable amount and is only criticized for not smiling bc ppl so heavily associate her with bella. but if i were to share this meme uncritically, i wouldn’t just be reaffirming the (false) idea that kristen stewart doesn’t smile, i would also be reinforcing the idea that women SHOULD smile all the time, kristen is a bad actress, and bella is a bad character. i could go further into the sexism of all that but this is already long. 

HOW DID I GET AWAY WITH WRITING ABOUT THIS FOR MY MASTERS DEGREE?? 

basically, while you think you’re engaging in a conversation on one level with memes, you’re actually engaging in a lot of conversations. when it comes to political memes, often the “passive” levels of the memes come with a lot of ideas about how the world is or should work, which you reinforce when engaging with those memes. these passive assumptions shape the conversations we’re having, and the kind of policies we’re willing to support. memes come encoded with opinions on gender, relationships, race, sexuality, class, etc, and and make declarations about how these things DO or SHOULD work, shaping our own personal understanding of them. a meme that makes donald trump look stupid is advocating for different policies/political decisions than one that makes him look dangerous. and if all of our memes about trump focus on him looking stupid, we put more political effort into addressing that problem than the problem that he’s dangerous. memes can be used to challenge norms/question widely accepted ideas (here’s an example i literally just made):

but they can also be used to help people internalize ideas/messages that they wouldn’t be willing to accept uncritically if those ideas were presented in a different format. sometimes this is good, if you use memes to help people internalize good messages, like self-love. however, unfortunately in recent years this has mostly been used to radicalize lonely men, who internalize increasingly more hateful assumptions in memes and don’t realize that they’re doing it, because those messages are not explicit. just look at how pepe became a hate symbol. if you laugh at enough memes that operate on the assumption that women are sluts, you’re gonna start believing women are sluts, and are gonna be more likely to laugh at memes that imply that women are bad because they’re slutty, then that since they’re bad they don’t deserve rights, etc. 

basically, memes shape our understanding of how the world works because they make assumptions about how the world works that we have to agree with in order to understand the meme. when these assumptions involve identities or politics, they affect how we understand those things, and what conversations we have about them.

and that’s basically my dissertation on memes, minus a lot of other discussions about pop culture, humor, and group formation. 

any questions??

[positivityforlesbians]

What does femme and butch mean?? I have an outline but I think that more of what the outside think than what the actual meaning is and I don’t want to have an opinion based around only a few things I’ve heard. I’m sorry I’m very new to this and still learning I just want to understand a bit more. Thank you! :)

Hi anon! Femme and butch are two historical lesbian identities, from an outside point of view one can guess that femmes are feminine lesbians and butches are masculine lesbians. That’s correct but it’s only surface based definitions. What’s important to know is that originally femme and butch are two complementary identities made to mutually protect each other against lesbophobia. Two women seen together kissing and holding hands were prone to be mocked, bullied, and be targeted by all kinds violence (physical, moral, institutional), therefore for plenty of lesbians surviving and leaving a peaceful life meant passing as a straight couple. Naturally the couples who formed in such difficult times/places (i talk in the past tense here but around the world it’s obviously still happening) were women who searched for other women who were more masculine, and vice verse. A lesbian could naturally be leaning more towards masculinity or femininity without really thinking much about it but they would put more efforts into reinforcing their masculinity or femininity when together as to really be seen as a man/woman couple (since heterosexuality is veryyyyy closely tied to sexism and therefore lots of straight ppl cannot recognize that a woman is a woman or that a man is a man if they don’t conform to gender expectations associated to their sex) and avoid violence targeted towards them. 

A butch lesbian rocks masculinity and in public this will go with protecting her femme girlfriend/wife against men trying to flirt with her, she’ll look intimidating, “don’t fuck with me” and “i’ll break this glass bottle over your head if you touch her” kinda look, to the heteronormative eyes she looks like a typical man hanging out with his girlfriend, but he is a she who has an experience specific to women, men don’t know what it is to be a butch lesbian and how this is so completely different than having a girlfriend and not thinking at all about being victims of violence or discrimination. You have lesbian couples who were able to marry each other because of the butch/femme identities. Butches protect but they are also protected, this goes against all expectations you would find in a straight couple. A femme can protect her butch girlfriend/wife from exterior mockery, as butches are more prone to physical violence due to being visibly gender non conforming, a femme will support her butch girlfriend also against internal distress (not finding her place in the world, as it rejects gnc women so much) and they’re strong and protective in their own way. Bear in mind that the very masculine and feminine behavior (not style) is enforced in public, it doesn’t mean that it’s like that in the intimacy of their home. Butch lesbians can clean the house, cry and be comforted by their femme, and femmes can be assertive, be the top most of the time during sex etc - Each butch/femme couple has its own dynamic. Lesbian identities are gender non conforming by nature, even for femmes, the point is we all love women exclusively. A femme subverts femininity even though she’s feminine, because femininity is not just a way of dressing, it’s gender expectations who are inherently sexist (being quiet, loving futile conversations, automatically being with a man, etc) therefore a femme fucks this all up since … she at least doesn’t feel attraction towards men.

Today in plenty of western countries we encounter way less physical/institutional homophobia/lesbophobia compared to the past, in consequence those identities are less seen or at least less seen like the way it was before. By that i mean that you will now also see butch/butch couples and femme/femme couples, you’ll see plenty of lesbians who don’t fit particularly one of these identities, etc and there’s also one major problem : the fact that masculine women are disappearing (mostly in USA, Canada, UK i think, and i’m not going to expand on why) and therefore butch/femme couples are less seen than it used to. A major @ to all butch/femme lesbians out there, i’m seeing more and more of you recently, so maybe we’re slowly gaining ground again ! So yeah, here’s my answer, anon, and don’t feel sorry about asking questions regarding anything lesbian related! :) Xx 

[unwelcome-ozian]

.Why do you equate mass shootings with white supremacy? A few have been, sure. Not every shooting is purported by white supremacists. And not every shooting is a choice either. It can result from bullying, abusive parenting, suppressing of gender identity and all kinds of things that eat at them until they are mentally scattered and unhinged.

2 Programming can sometimes contribute. Schizophrenia and dehumanization can contribute. Being forced to live in a society that doesnt accept, having everything monitored to the point of breaking, programming like being drugged out can contribute. It’s not even like all mass shooters are even white. I cant believe you are minimizing trauma and abuse to simply White Supremacy. Yes not all mentally I’ll are violent, no, it’s not all an act of racial violence, even if a few are.

Is there no abuse in society? Is it always simply white supremacy when someone breaks and is very irrational due to not even being able to think with everyone breathing down their damn neck and cant even think without being policed? Is it white supremacy to be abused to the point they are a potential danger to society, maybe they feel like they’ll never be productive or he feels like a defective female and male because he was raised to be that way?Utterly callous and insensitive Nice gaslighting

Also maybe I am completely out of the loop on these things but how is shooting a bunch of other white people an act of white supremacy? How is someone who shoots people he perceives to be bullies an act of white supremacy?

What it is like to almost reach mass shooter status is where you arent allowed to do any physical activity or rough house with anyone and people put shackles on you by abusing neglecting and raping you and potentially even drugging you until your brain breaks and words and actions become like daggers and bats. And that’s because you havent been allowed sleep or adequate portions of food and because you cant let your anger and emotions out they start giving you rashes and in your brain as

as a person with DID you can only see yourself as having scars and black eyes and broken fingers and of you speak someone will cut out your tongue and.. you through windows and criticizing everything and setting traps and.. I’m not looking to get unhinged from this further so Ill stop. Its insensitive to look at an issue that intersects with abuse and bullying as only white supremacy. Maybe it just hit a soft spot from a much rougher time for us Is it not abuse if it occurs in a school setting?

I’m not even finishing my rant because you don’t deserve to hear my story. I’m a strong beautiful survivor who is worth much more than that And my story is much more genuine and importance then you will ever understand. Its not some nazi wet dream. I doubt you care but I wont follow a blog who minimizes abuse of children because its in a school setting instead of a home setting. It’s gross. My healing journey doesnt need ppl like this anywhere near it. I hope you mature one day.

Itsnot because of my RA or because I was abused as an autistic or had my gender identity suppressed and had another beaten into me its because Im a white supremacist and all my pains are invalid and I should quit whining and try to push it down when I cant and doing that makes me break out in rashes and become irrational because I’m so used to doing it. Grow up. No one wants to help eliminate child abuse in schools stop systematic child torture And you are no different. I chose this. Okay.

Okay this is my last message but just to clarify white supremacy as well as banning guns ends all the violence (although it would stop a lot of it) are scapegoats. One shifts the blame away from RA, from our current school issues, the other doesnt address why ppl are turning out the way they are. Anyway. I wont look at this blog anymore. I dont have to, and the content you post is your choice I understand. Its better to speak up than stay quiet though.

Here is the post you are referring to.

Why do you equate mass shootings with white supremacy? 

 Because there is an association.

In the two weeks since a gunman killed 22 people in El Paso law enforcement officials say they have thwarted at least seven separate mass shootings or white supremacist attacks across the US.

At least four of the alleged foiled plots also appeared to involve men espousing far-right viewpoints and racist ideologies, with echoes of the Texas massacre. Aug 22, 2019

April 2019

1 killed in mass shooting targeting a synagogue in Poway, California, US.

March 2019

51 killed in mass shootings targeting two mosques in Christchurch, New Zealand.

October 2018

11 killed in a mass shooting targeting the Tree of Life synagogue in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, US.

October 2018

Man attempted to enter black church before allegedly killing two black people in a supermarket in Kentucky, US.

January 2017

Six people killed during evening prayers at a mosque in Quebec City, Canada.

For a comprehensive list go here: LINK

Not every shooting is purported by white supremacists. And not every shooting is a choice either.

Nowhere in that post did it say EVERY shooting. So you are correct.  In the context of the post yes EVERY shooting is a choice.

Careful using absolutes like; always, all, every, and never. Things rarely are 100 percent, that’s the reason things must be kept in context.  So, throughout this reply, I’m going to continually place things back in context for you by referring to the post that you are upset about.

It’s not even like all mass shooters are even white. I cant believe you are minimizing trauma and abuse to simply White Supremacy. 

Again, out of context, nowhere in that post did it say ALL are white. It says ‘being a white supremacist is not a mental illness, it’s a choice.’

Do you know what a choice is in the context of the post? I’ll explain in this context, it means someone choosing, willfully saying, ‘I choose to hate someone solely based on their race, country of origin, ethnicity, religion and for no other reason.’  That is a choice. 

And again, in the context of the post: White supremacy isn’t a mental health issue. 

Itsnot because of my RA or because I was abused as an autistic or had my gender identity suppressed and had another beaten into me its because Im a white supremacist and all my pains are invalid and I should quit whining and try to push it down when I cant 

For clarification, are you saying you’re a white supremacist? Or….

 Anyway. I wont look at this blog anymore. I dont have to, and the content you post is your choice I understand. Its better to speak up than stay quiet though.

That’s fine, you don’t have to look at this Tumblr, it is your choice. Like being a white supremacist is a choice.

Mental health issues however are not a choice. Depression, not a choice.  Schizophrenia, not a choice.  DID, not a choice. Bi-polar, you guessed it, not a choice. BPD, not a choice. EDs, not a choice. The mental health issues people live with absolutely not a choice. We agree there.

Oz

[flying-elliska]

You said it feels cool to have a specific identity but isn't that exactly why we are seen as the special snowflake generation? Not to mention wasn't the whole point to be free from stereotypes and dress however we want, love whoever we want etc? And yet there's now so many identities, labels, flags which create an implicit pressure to define yourself so you'll be included. Idk I think your french friends are right,it still feels like we're pushing people into boxes; they're just woke boxes now.

Hey anon ! Thank you for this very interesting question. I hope you’re ok with getting a mini-essay as a response (that’s kind of my brand now lmao)

So first of all, if you don’t feel like you personally need labels, you are totally valid. And so are my friends. I think you have to find out what you’re most comfortable with. It’s true that labels can be used to exclude, esp in the LGBTQ+ communities. I think we focus our activism a little bit too much on words and online stuff and media representation nowadays, as opposed to practical political action, and that’s an issue. And we focus too much on people not having the correct, latest approved terminology and labels as a way to show you’re a good person, as opposed to what people are actually doing and their lived experiences, and who is authorized to use what label and those debates often just exasperate me to the highest point. It’s like, don’t you have anything better to do ? It becomes very clique-ish, school courtyard drama at times. There should always be a place for questioning, fluidity, no labels, a place for discovery and uncertainty, shifting identifications, multiple labels at once, words changing, and questioning what place they take in our lives.

But, on the whole, I still like my labels, and I’m going to try and explain why. 

Labels are words right ? They have the benefits and drawbacks of words. A rose under any other name would still smell as sweet, of course. But we are a fundamentally social species, and words are a way to create bridges between people, between our experiences. It signals that you are not alone ; it’s a way to make visible things that are usually invalidated, ostracized or just plain erased by the mainstream and the status quo. The development of a vocabulary for the queer community was what made their political struggle and pride possible ; before it was “the love that dare not speak it name”, all euphemisms and shame. It honors, too, the struggle of those who came before us ; it places us in the continuity of a history ; it says we have been here before, it gives us memory and context. Of course words are going to betray us, because they can never retranscribe the fullness, complexity and confusion of lived experience. But they’re a conversation starter ; they bring people together ; they create spaces of freedom. 

I’m going to give you a personal example : a few years ago I fell in love with a girl for the first time ; after that I seriously started thinking of myself as bisexual. There had always been a thing there but because I had been mostly attracted to boys before, I’d swept it under the rug. But finding the ‘bisexual’ label made me realize - no this is a thing, this is valid, and it made me look back at all those instances in the past of having weirdly intense feelings for some of my girl friends, of being obsessed with certain actresses, etc…that back then I didn’t understand, I just thought I was weird…and I always thought that bisexuality was something that something Hollywood starlets did for attention. But finding a community behind that word that was seeking to reclaim it from the stereotypes and being proud about what it meant, it was so healing.

 After that I immersed myself more in my local LGBTQ+ community ; and in particular I volunteered for the European Bisexual Convention - that one in particular was incredible because it felt so…liberating. In the general LGBTQ community, people expect you to be gay until you say otherwise. In the student association I was in, it was cool, but it was also…very normative in a way. Lots of stereotypes about how we were expected to be, what we were expected to like, behave like. So for Eurobicon, to have all of that lifted, it was amazing. And it was also so much more inclusive - of disabled, neuroatypical, transgender ppl, different body types and ethnicities, like you could feel that they had made an effort. I also met several nonbinary ppl for the first time of my life and I was like…oh wow there’s something here that feels very important and real. We shared experiences that we did not have a space before, that were specifically bisexual and that tend to go unheard in general queer spaces because they’re not part of the dominant narrative : the daily hesitations, the lack of visibility, the much higher rates of staying closeted, feeling like you are not really part of the community, but also the really cool aspects too - there was this incredible energy of fluidity too of thinking, here is a space where everyone can potentially be into everyone, there aren’t as many barriers as we usually have to think about. And there was this one party and we were all dancing and flirting in a very sweet kind of way, people of different ages and body types, gender presentations and configurations I hadn’t thought about before, a girl in a wheelchair swirling around and being treated like a queen, guys in corsets and cool butches and just some beautiful people - and there was this euphoria in the room, of recognition and kinship, and it felt so…normal, not freakish like I had been led to believe it would be. Nobody was putting on airs or trying hard or whatever, they were just being themselves. And I was like, wow, this is something I need more of in my life. And this freedom was made possible by people coming together under a certain label, recognizing that certain people have specific needs and experiences. Especially after growing up in environments that never tell you that those things are possible, finding the right label can be like coming home. 

I have other labels for myself I am less public about because I don’t want to deal with the social aspect of it, or I’m like this is none of anybody’s business, or I want to give myself the time to figure it out on my own. But they’re tools for self-knowledge, they allow me to think about things, to conceptualize, to research (and lol I’m a nerd so…). And to be less hard on myself sometimes, and to stand up for myself in a ‘I know who I am and it’s okay’ kind of way. Because society tends to pathologize, ostracize or demonize the things it doesn’t understand, and labels can protect you against that. 

In an ideal society maybe we wouldn’t need labels - to have a right to exist or survive, and that’s definitely a goal, but I think we would still make some, because that’s who we are as a species, we need to classify certain things in order to think about them. The problem is when those boxes become cages instead of like, beautiful pots to grow seeds in, like art or poetry. And of course deconstructing the boxes we don’t want remain important. But I don’t think we can ever be box-less, it just to me doesn’t compute. 

I just wanna come back to the ‘special snowflake generation’ thing. If you don’t want labels, like I said, that’s fine. But I hate hate hate that term, and I don’t want to define myself in reaction to it. To me it’s used by a) bigots who just hate the fact that natural human diversity is becoming more recognized and discussed, and want to put us back in the artificial, stifling boxes that dynamics of power, patriarchy and imperialism have made us believe were normal when they really weren’t. And b) older people who are uncomfortable with increased levels of emotional intelligence and lability among younger generations. It’s a thing I’ve noticed over and over again ; people used to talk so much less. When they had feelings in general, or experiences out of the norm, they were taught that stuffing them down and sitting on them and repressing the shit out of them, was the noble/normal/grown up thing to do. So they did and they suffered in silence. And maybe some of them now feel bitter, or at least bewildered, by younger generations refusing to do so and inventing and or reclaiming all those new ways of talking about their experiences out in the open. And so they’re like ‘it’s too much ! you’re spoiled !’ because they want to believe that their sacrifices had a point. They don’t want to realize they could have done things differently all along. It’s very sad. But I don’t think it should be a barrier to us using them like…just as we shouldn’t refrain from using washing machines because our grandmothers suffered to wash everything in a bucket…There’s nothing entitled about wanting a better life than previous generations… And to me, having more words and more space to express myself will never be a bad thing. 

[monsterkissed]

tbqh being nb in combination with my autism has impacted my life more than anything else because 1.) being unable to relate to the people around you and typically cis women (which im unfortunately read as) and 2.) being treated more like an object or an "it" than a boy or a girl unless people notice my more sexualized characteristics is a very nb way to grow up and 3.) i had nb feelings since i was young and couldn't define them because i thought it was cuz i was weird

being nb and autistic is am interesting comparison i think bc as you say when you live both it gives you a very thorough understanding of how people treat other people they find weird and inhuman and it turns out the answer is: it’s not a fun time.

honestly people who say nb experience is wholly internal and the equivalent of idk being into alternative music of some shit and has no “material” aspect are either lucky or fooling themselves or actively malicious.

like i joke about strangers stumbling over what to call me in public but it is actually really fucking upsetting that i am essentially closeted indefinitely bc they’re never gonna go “sorry sir- um, miss, um, oh, mx!” and i can’t correct them without outing myself as trans bc it’s not possible to be out as an nb person and not also be permanently wearing a huge “IS TRANS, DO WITH THAT WHAT YOU WILL” sign. i cannot and will never pass. i cannot and will never be “living in the role.” and you would think people with experience living while closeted would have some sympathy for what that does to people psychologically but i guess mental health problems and the associated higher risk of harm, long-term health issues and death are not “material” enough. they take all that and all they get is “oh you’re only closeted bc explaining it is a hassle, not bc of fear or some other Good reason” which is 1. callous as fuck and pretty telling as to the motives of the person saying it 2. inaccurate, even if you’re so far up your own arse you can’t see why nb ppl are at risk please refer back to the permanent IS TRANS sign. how is an out non-binary person gonna be treated in most jobs? how are they gonna start a family if their gender weirdness is public record, particularly if like me they can’t reproduce biologically due to dysphoria, sex-repulsion and not having fuckloads of cash? how are nb kids gonna get treated at school? how are people reacting to the increase in nb visibility? where are we given space to exist authentically at all?

and so we circle back to being autistic, bc a lot of oppression manifests in similar ways. you’re inferior, you’re broken, you’re not performing humanity as we desire, and this makes you a Problem to be Fixed or a Threat to be Destroyed. because acknowledging that there are valid ways to exist beyond the experiences of priv’d social positions undermines the superiority of those positions fundamentally, and that is something that cannot be tolerated, and that means that entire groups of people cannot be tolerated. and people who think that you can live on the wrong side of that battlefield and have no ~material~ consequences are lying to themselves and us and more importantly, actively fighting for the other side.

[tremendouspeachduck]

Think You're An Expert In Why Kill A Cop? Think again - who is to blame?

Why kill a cop?

Why is everyone ready to kill a cop – screaming inequality, unfair targeting –

instead, all eyes should be on the crime labs …  ?

WTF is going on?  As usual most ppl have it all wrong.

The crime labs have no standards or oversight

Corruption, but is it gender, race or otherwise based? 

What’s being done?  Nothing?  

What’s corrected?

So stop killing cops, OK?  What about antifa?    Marc Lamont Hill

Another area to look is at Judge sentencing discrepancies.

Can you smell the fragrance of these carnations?  lol  Check out this video:

Junk Science Locks Up Innocent People

Do you watch CSI, Law & Order, NCIS?  I like how those crime shows use modern science to get the bad guy.

“People who watch these shows believe that this is how it’s really done,” says former NYPD Dectective Harry Houck.  

It’s not?

Former detective Harry Houck’s annoyed that the TV shows make forensic science look infallible. “And you watch a detective get down and look at a body and touch it: ‘He’s been dead for three hours now, he ate dinner four hours ago.’ I can’t do that.”  

On TV, experts identify the killer by his bite mark.  In real life, experts claim they can identify criminals that way.  The TV show Cold Case Files covered the trial in which Alfred Swinton was convicted, because this so-called bite mark expert said Swinton’s teeth matched a bite on the victim.  The expert explained he’s a “neutral scientist.”

Can you smell the honeysuckle?

“The doctor was just wrong.  He was just wrong, because it’s an unreliable technique,” says Chris Fabricant of the Innocence Project.  “They’re in white lab coats, they sound very authoritative, but they’re full of it.  

Lawyer Chris Fabricant helped get Swinton freed from jail by doing a DNA test.  “Bite marks are similar to you and I maybe looking at a cloud, and then I say to you, ‘John, doesn’t that cloud look like a rabbit to you?’  And you look at it and say, ‘Yeah, Chris, I think that does look like a rabbit.’”  

But that kind of junk science puts innocent people in jail.  That’s one or two people.  Many more people are in jail, and we’re supposedly safer because of that.

“If you think that maybe even 1% of convicted defendants may have been innocent, we have 2.6 million people in prison today.  So we’re not talking about a couple of people.  We’re talking about tens of thousands of people.”

But the people who use these techniques they believe in it.  They’re confident. “Sure, their confident.  It’s faith-based science.”

The expert who got Swinton convicted now admits he was wrong.  But police still trust bite marks.

“Let’s say one tooth is missing in the front.  So you got to look at that, and you go your suspects got one tooth missing in the front.  That’s pretty good.  But then again, that’s not enough,” explains Harry Houck.  Houck says he’d demand other evidence.  But not all cops do.  Especially if experts say they’re sure someone’s guilty.  

Can you smell the lilac?

But even fingerprint evidence isn’t foolproof.  When terrorists in Madrid killed 193 people, the FBI found this fingerprint on one of the terrorist bags and matched it to this fingerprint of a man in Oregon.  However, two weeks after Mayfield’s arrest Spanish investigators found the man to whom the fingerprint really belonged.  FBI researchers claimed fingerprints are right more than 99% of the time, but that still leaves plenty of wrongful convictions.  Other techniques are even less accurate: carpet fiber evidence, gun tracing, hair matching.  "Microscopic hair comparison evidence has  been admitted by courts for a century,” says Fabricant.  In one case, it was a dog’s hair.  “A dog hair was associated wrongfully with a human hair.  Since the turn of this century, there have been 75 wrongful convictions.”

Fabricant works for the Innocence Project.  By using more modern DNA evidence, the project’s lawyers have helped free 191 innocent people.  All these people were wrongly jailed based on so-called scientific evidence.  

Why do judges admit this stuff?  Why don’t defense attorneys get it thrown out?

“We all went to law school because we don’t know science, we don’t know math.  And if somebody comes in with a white lab coat and says, ‘I’ve been accredited by the American Board of Forensic Odontology, and I’ve been practicing for 20 years,’ that’s good enough for government work.”  That shouldn’t be the standard.  Too much is at stake.  Jurors tend to believe people who courts call experts.  But the experts often rely on junk science.  Juries and judges should be much more skeptical.

my idea of a beautiful dog

My disdain for our Senators and House Reps is huge.  We need to vote in more ppl like Pres. Trump

Tid bits on Capitalism . . .

Capitalism improves the quality of life for the working class not just because it leads to improved wages but also because it produces new, better, and cheaper goods…. Indeed, with capitalism, the emphasis shifted to producing goods as cheaply as possible for the masses–the working class–whereas artisans had previously produced their goods and wares mostly for the aristocracy. 

Under capitalism every business wants to cater to the masses, for that is where the money is.”— Thomas Dilorenzo (1954-) American economics professor. 

Capitalism acknowledges the existence of greed as motivation and provides an avenue to use greed as a motivator for positive growth.forget a fancy car or phone or vacation, if you love socialism or communism.

One downside is income inequality.   Fixing this issue is being tried.  Vote Republican  Why?  Republicans are the only ones who deliver on a promise.

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[vamporchid]

Just for fun!

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? I can’t use milk...or dairy...so almond or soy, so more cereal...but I hardly ever eat cereal so yeah...

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? I’m Canadian, it’s a given lol

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? Uhm, bookmarks oh and business cards LOL

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? coffee, two sugar and cream, tea all on its own or with honey

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? Yup, thanks mom...I has a huge mouth lol

6: do you keep plants? Ahahahaha yeah. Sorry laughing to a friends response as I’m doing. Yes I do, all kinds and I have a garden and flower garden.

7: do you name your plants? K not that crazy...

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? Uhm, I do traditional drawing, paintings, crafts, tattoo and now I’m venturing into airbrushing. Oh and I can’t forget writing.

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? Who doesn’t?

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? My right side. Stupid spine.

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? Squirrels. Ahahaha. Bucky and Squirrels.

12: what's your favorite planet? Other than earth? Pluto. It’s neglected.

13: what's something that made you smile today? My two year old son, getting excited when his sisters let him play with their stuff. He’s funny.

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? Farm house chic with chickens!

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! In the late 1950′s, by way of something labeled Project A119 the United States decided it would be a good idea to launch a nuclear missile at the moon. Why? Evidently they felt it would give them a leg up in the Space Race. Fortunately, however, the plan was never executed.

16: what's your favorite pasta dish? Lasagna, but I can’t eat it no more...

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?  Fire engine red!!

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.  I grab a cop by the collar once to try and drag him to my friend that was in trouble. That ladies and gentlemen is not the correct way to get an officers attention.

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? I used to, not anymore.

20: what's your favorite eye color? Green

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. My black and pink school bag. I actually used to live out of in College. I refuse to get rid of it even though my husband hates it.

22: are you a morning person? No!

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?  Write, read or draw!! Oh and crafts.

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? @amethystflame, she’s my witness, muahahha. Squirrels.

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? Mayor’s office LOL.

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? None, I’m always getting new footwear.

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? Uhm Bubblegum.

28: sunrise or sunset? Sunset. Sunrise means I’ve been up all night, again. Ugh.

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? @amethystflame, every morning we always text each other good morning lol

30: think of it: have you ever been  truly scared? Hells yes. One of my kids almost died. Scary.

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. No socks in bed, but other than that I like them lol. But not in the summer.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. Broke into the mayors office, that is where I’ll end that LOL

33: what's your fave pastry? Apple turnovers are underrated.

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? A pink seal, Nicky. My kids use it now.

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? They are pretty, I’ll use them, but it’s not like that’s all I use. I use whatever is on hand.

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? Green Day

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? Clean! Major OCD!!

38: tell us about your pet peeves!  Oh there’s not enough time for this!

39: what color do you wear the most? Blue or green, black as a shade.

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? Like random jewelry? Well I have a Lapus Lazuli pendant I ordered from Egypt with a clear quartz stone on it. It’s suppose to help with all kinds of things. And I love things that have to do with Egypt. So yeah.

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? Gail Z Martin’s The Summoner Chronicles.

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! Timmies, I am Canadian. That is all.

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? My husband lol.

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? Is never a good answer?

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?  Hellz Yes!

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.  Can’t think of any

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?  Span and Klik! Nasty!!

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?  Zombies and yes I’m still terrified.

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? I haven’t bought either in years.

50: what's an odd thing you collect?Knives, I guess. Because I collect a bunch of things.

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? Person, uhm my husband, True Love by Pink. Fictional Character, Winter Soldier, Simple man by Shinedown

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? Anything Marvel or cats lol

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? Rocky Horror picture show, beetlejuice and pulp fiction.

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? My Two year old, when his dad left for work this morning.

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? My ex was driving me nuts. I kept telling him if he kept claiming I was nuts, that I would start to act like a psycho. I was decorating an Xmas tree and hit him in the face with around 25 Xmas glass ball decorations. That night we got to spend the night at the hospital getting his eyes washed.

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? Random acts of generosity or kindness.

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?  I always do and I love Queen, still sends shivers down my spine when I listen to them.

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?  At this very moment. Well I’m into the wine and @amethystflame is into the vodka ahahahaha.

59: what's your favorite myth? I was gonna write good men aahahahahaha. Shut up you laughed. I don’t believe in myths. They are stories that probably happened that got some pazzazz at some point.

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? Yup. Edgar Allen Poe. The Pit and The Pendulum.

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? The dumbest gift I’ve ever given was probably to my sister, a grow a man and some stress ‘balls’ ahahaha. Received...spongebob square pants season two...I don’t watch that cartoon...

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? No. But I do have a glass of hot lemon water every morning.

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? I have OCD, everything organized lol.

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? Black, it’s night and it’s not a clear night.

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with?  My old work friends, but I actually just got to go visit them this past weekend after not seeing the for 14 years. Woot.

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? Daffodils, sunflowers, cat tails and fall leaves!!

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? Uhm, gloomy lol

68: what's winter like where you live? I live in Northern Ontario Canada, cold, long and tons of snow. TONS OF SNOW.

69: what are your favorite board games? Monopoly and anything that makes you think, like clue.

70: have you ever used a ouija board? Why yes I have, I own one, it’s on my bookshelf.

71: what's your favorite kind of tea? Chai Tea!!

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? Nope, not usually.

73: what are some of your worst habits?  I crack my joints, a lot.

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. Pink-ish hair. American, Yank. Cap obsessed ish. Naps. Squirrels. Kids. NO MARK!

75: tell us about your pets! Three cats. One is old and dying. One’s a bitch. And the last one well he’s young and huge. I think he’s part lion. Who knows.

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? Working out.

77: pink or yellow lemonade? BOTH!

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? There are ppl that hate them? WTF?!

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? My husband proposed to my twice. And I got two engagement rings out of the deal lol.

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? Olive green. Was like that when we bought the house. I’m ok with it, so it’ll stay for now.

81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. Skip! LOL

82: are/were you good in school?  Yup. Like at the subjects. 90s. Was I a good kid...well my parents threaten to put me into military school lol

83: what's some of your favorite album art? Rob Zombies stuff is always great and so it Tool’s

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?  I have a forever growing list. But my next one is a comic book sleeve with all my fave characters and quotes.

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? Yes, Mostly marvel.

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?  Concept albums? HUH?

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?  Boondock saints for sure and The Crow.

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? I don’t think I understand this question lol.

89: are you close to your parents?  Ish I think. LOL. They’re all good and stuff. I am a lot more now then when I was younger that‘s for sure.

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. Uhm. Cities? I’m not a city fan. I did really like Mexico when I visited though.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? NYC @amethystflame Comiccon is happening!

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? I can’t eat dairy...

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? Curly Mohawk.

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? My twin girls, big 11.

95: what are your plans for this weekend?  So far watching Marvel Movies with my friend lol

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?  Mine are on auto update.

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? ENFJ, Aquarius, Raven Claw

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? Pfff Can’t remember. Probably lol.

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. Full Circle by Aerosmith. Simple Man by Shine down. Had Enough and Firefly by Breaking Benjamin. And many more...

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?  Five years into the future so that I can see what I can fix before it happens lol.

Ok. @amethystflame, @chenria, @r2smuse, @mellorian-j if you want!

[janiedean]

I have no issues with their preferred pronouns. I can respect their gender identity, whatever it is. And I certainly respect them and their rights as human beings, as long as they don't behave like entitled pricks (male-socialized rape apologists, basically. That is a real thing.) But whatever they want, they cannot deny their biology, their genetic setup, and the sex specific issues that come with it. I've seen posts about transwomen being excited and mortified about their "period" when (1/3)

they get cramps and bleed through their genitals after hrt. But… they have no damn uterus, and bleeding through your genitals in that case is a serious health issue. And when feminists talk about female sex specific issues (menstruation, child bearing and birth control, globally fgm, child marriages and femicide…) transwomen cry oppression and say they feel excluded and try to silence that kind of talk. Because of hurt feelings? And I shouldn’t have to even say this, but not all transwomen, obviously. But enough to it being a real, tangible problem. If this makes me a transphobe, then too fucking bad, I guess. (3/3)

okay listen all the legit trans ppl I know/have ever spoken to think that complaining about vaginas being associated just with women when not all women have vaginas is a thing you REALLY MOSTLY CARE ABOUT just if you don’t have real problems in your life, and tbh that’s what I mean when I refer to The Discourse I Am Seeing and I say that people look at the finger and not at the moon *cough* but like uhm okay just -

first:

I certainly respect them and their rights as human beings, as long as they don’t behave like entitled pricks (male-socialized rape apologists, basically. That is a real thing.

listen, I think caitlyn jenner has horrid political opinions, doesn’t mean I call her bruce or use male pronouns for her. you can respect someone’s basic right as human beings even if they’re pricks. it’s like. pronouns aren’t a thing you allow someone to have as long as they’re not a prick. you can insult them to your heart’s desire while using their correct pronouns, first of all. second ‘male socialized rape apologists ???????’ christ guys are you even hearing yourself what has happened to, like, educate people and include them or at least try to instead of kicking them out just bc you don’t agree with them or they don’t know better like what the fuck does that even mean I’ve heard more people telling me that if I don’t want guys hitting on me I need to wear longer skirts than men ????? and that’s rape apologism according to tumblr but okay ???????

they cannot deny their biology, their genetic setup, and the sex specific issues that come with it

I… given that they usually have surgery to correct it I imagine most of them don’t deny it and listen I’ve seen ON TUMBLR trans*men* who were apparently very much happy to get their period which TO ME might seem kind of fishy because why would you want that but IN DOUBT I’M STILL GONNA USE THEIR PRONOUNS AND THE LIKES or like, outright ignore if I think it’s tumblr trenders who have no idea of how dysphoria works and think you can choose to be trans or smth. like honestly why the fuck should I go judge someone I don’t know??? whatever. if they have health issues they can discuss that with their doctor???

when feminists talk about female sex specific issues (menstruation, child bearing and birth control, globally fgm, child marriages and femicide…) transwomen cry oppression and say they feel excluded and try to silence that kind of talk.

when the finger points at the moon the idiot looks at the finger is also valid in this case but like in between people hijacking the conversation if that’s what it’s to you and terfs arguing in between each other can you see that neither side comes out of it really well does that -

doesn’t mean said transwomen aren’t women. sigh. and you solve real tangible problems by cutting down the current tumblr/third wave crappy rhetoric and worry about real issues but that’s not a transwomen or not transwomen issue only man, and idk if it makes you transphobic or not but good lord you could benefit from judging people a little bit less hm?

[thiost]

My sibling is trans, and I'm wondering what deadnaming is? And, like, I generally use "male" words like dude anyway, but I'm mostly just wondering if thise times I forget, or I have to say "my sister" to my grandparents, is that genuinely damaging? My sibling talks about dysphoria, but I also don't understand what that is? If you can answer my questions, thank you. If you can't, I'll just have to do a more in depth Google search, but I'm worried about inaccurate info. But yeah, bye now.

hey! im typically fine w questions like these as long as they're respectful (which u were), but id advise asking if it's okay first since some ppl arent as comfy with that!

but, to answer ur question:

deadnaming is a form of misgendering in which you use the birth name of somebody who is trans instead of their chosen name. it's called a deadname cause the name is dead! it doesn't exist anymore, it's gone!

slip ups will happen sometimes, and while you should apologize and correct yourself, dont turn it into a big deal, as it'll make it awkward for the other person and usually leads to us trans ppl having to comfort the cis ppl in our lives. most of us aren't gonna get angry, although it can negatively impact us, especially depending on the severity of their dysphoria.

now, onto dysphoria! being transgender is described as having an incongruence with your assigned gender at birth. a common symptom of this is dysphoria, which usually means being uncomfortable with your own body or the way others perceive you due to the feeling that these traits are associated with their assigned gender. trans men will have dysphoria about their chest, hips/curves, and voice a lot of the time. being misgendered or deadnamed can also be a source of dysphoria. some trans ppl dont have dysphoria, some have mild dysphoria, and for some it can be so extreme that it causes sever anxiety/or depression. and trans ppl will be dysphoric abt different parts of their body! not all trans men hate their chests or their voice, and that's okay!

and, the topic of what to call your brother in front of other ppl comes down to this: ask him!!! set boundaries!! make sure you know who he's out to/wants to be out to before you go blabbing it out bc although we love hearing our right name and pronouns, coming out is absolutely terrifying and even dangerous. it's best to allow him to decide how and when he comes out, and even if he doesn't want to, dont pressure him!! it's okay to take your time on this stuff. it's a huge deal to come out as trans, sometimes.

so, my general advice

a. support him when you can! dont be weird about it but even just calling him by his chosen name and pronouns can honestly make his day

b. dont over apologize/make this experience about yourself. this is his identity and his struggle, not yours. you have no idea what he's dealing with.

c. be sure to set boundaries and ask him what he is comfortable with, how he wants to be addressed and around who

d. ask him how you can help!!! many trans guys will want things like a binder. make sure you know the dangers of it and make sure he does too, and that he's keeping himself safe primarily.

if you have any other questions, my inbox and dm's are always open!

[kidsviral-blog]

Pelosi, House women peddle lady parts at presser; Boo Russert, cry sexism

New Post has been published on https://kidsviral.info/pelosi-house-women-peddle-lady-parts-at-presser-boo-russert-cry-sexism/

Pelosi, House women peddle lady parts at presser; Boo Russert, cry sexism

http://twitter.com/#!/ARStrasser/status/268733269267320833

Sigh. The peddling of lady parts continues.

As Twitchy reported, Nancy Pelosi held a press conference today to deliver the oh-so-shocking news that she’s not stepping down as House minority leader. On the plus side, she committed a hilarious and epic flub: She said that Democrats “still have the gavel.” Whoops!

But, wait, there was more hilarity to be had at the press conference. Evidently, all that was missing in the lady parts peddle-fest was some Code Pink style vagina costumes.

Flanked by dozens of women members & congresswomen-elect, Nancy Pelosi announces she’s staying as Minority Leader. twitter.com/CHueyBurnsRCP/…

— Caitlin Huey-Burns (@CHueyBurnsRCP) November 14, 2012

Pelosi: “The thought of four men at that table was not an appealing site…”

— Zeke Miller (@ZekeJMiller) November 14, 2012

Men have cooties; can’t even bear the sight of them! But what about their Man-God Obama? The Patriarchy ™ is totally fine, natch, so long as he pats you on the head and pays (or makes someone else pay) for your birth control. Poor, helpless dears!

I have never seen @nancypelosi play up the pro woman theme as she is doing now. Even joking about the scary sight of all men at the table

— Dana Bash (@DanaBashCNN) November 14, 2012

When you lose CNN’s Dana Bash …

Pelosi say she’s staying “in order to continue work empowering women”

— Amanda Terkel (@aterkel) November 14, 2012

Apparently Nancy Pelosi, not content w/class warfare is now promoting gender warfare w/her we R women here us roar crap speech. #scary #tcot

— Alana Burke (@AlanaBurkeSays) November 14, 2012

I’m pro-women/Democrat/older people but that #Pelosi presser was a shitshow. Go find the Gingrich v. Bob Michel playbook. #permanentminority

— Aaron Polkey (@apolkey) November 14, 2012

@slone “We don’t have the gavel. But we have something more important… unity.”For a second I feared she might say “vaginas”! #Pelosi

— TrueTexasTea (@TrueTexasTea) November 14, 2012

Seriously, Nancy Pelosi is out of touch. Her interpretation of women empowerment is convoluted & sad. Don’t ever pretend to speak for me.

— Jacqueline Otto (@jacque_otto) November 14, 2012

The “future” of US women as represented by Pelosi & her new gal pals feels an awful lot like a huge step backwards.

— Kindy (@CallInSick318) November 14, 2012

Then the ladies started booing a male reporter. Luke Russert dared to ask a pertinent question, rather than worshipping at the altar of lady parts. Thus, he’s sexist. And agist. And whatever other “ist” they can come up with.

Luke Russert RT @charliespiering: Pelosi and women Democrats booing and mocking a male reporter. . . not sure who it is

— daveweigel (@daveweigel) November 14, 2012

.@lukerussert gets groans from women on stage by asking Pelosi if her leadership means younger leadership can’t move forward

— Alex Pappas (@AlexPappasDC) November 14, 2012

Luke Russert asks if Pelosi staying on prevents younger ppl from stepping up. He gets booed by all of the women in Congress… #heyladies

— Rebecca Berg (@rebeccagberg) November 14, 2012

RT @realclearscottThe response to @lukerussert‘s very legitimate Q to @nancypelosi is really something to behold buzzfeed.com/zekejmiller/na…

— Tim Miller (@Timodc) November 14, 2012

Libs on Twitter also freaked out. How dare he treat Nancy Pelosi as he would any other politician. Doesn’t he know that “empowerment” means being treated as a delicate flower who surely can’t be held accountable for anything. She’s lucky she can hold a gavel, much less remember if she has one or not.

@lukerussert would never ask McConnell if he’s blocking younger members from moving up. Way to be offensive Luke. #Pelosi

— Nerdy Wonka (@utaustinliberal) November 14, 2012

Pelosi’s body has a way of shutting down a “Legitimate” sexist question from Luke Russert, the confirmed Douche Bag.

— Micheal Stinson (@Symbolman) November 14, 2012

That kid got his job due to nepotism so this is rich: “Nancy Pelosi swats down Luke Russert’s offensive question!shar.es/GJbWQ” ”

— Lisa Guerrero (@4lisaguerrero) November 14, 2012

Hey, @lukerussert, #peggynoonan & #georgewill called. They want to buy you a drink, nincompoop. #pelosi

— SFLiberal (@SFLiberal) November 14, 2012

But, wait. Don’t Progressives of Pallor always criticize the GOP for being the party of old white people? What’s good for the goose, toots.

Lament “old white men” of the GOP= Sound analysis.Ask #Pelosi if its time to move along? “Age Discrimination.@ingrahamangle

— Brett J. Patron (@Longtabsigo) November 14, 2012

I stand corrected: (2) Luke Russert asked a good question.Pelosi tried to laugh it off and had her phalanx of Dem women boo him.

— Maxwell Power (@power_maxwell) November 14, 2012

Luke Russert took to Twitter to explain his question, which was a good one.

Negatives: Very polarizing, moderates hurt by association. Fires up #GOP. She’s an older face for a younger party

— Luke Russert (@LukeRussert) November 14, 2012

While Pelosi laughed off my Q as age-ist, many House Ds will privately gripe it hurts caucus that all 3 leaders are 70+.

— Luke Russert (@LukeRussert) November 14, 2012

The longer the top 3 stay, the longer it takes to infuse the caucus with new blood like #GOP did w Cantor, Ryan, McCarthy etc.

— Luke Russert (@LukeRussert) November 14, 2012

Bingo! But, you know, facts don’t matter. They have gender identity politics to wage. You’ve come a long way, baby!

A happy warrior puts the faux-outrage in a hilarious, ageism-mocking nutshell.

Elderly women often take up hobbies; scrapbooking, collecting Precious Moments figurines, destroying Western civilization. #Pelosi

— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) November 14, 2012

Heh.

Read more: http://twitchy.com/2012/11/14/pelosi-house-dem-women-hold-presser-to-peddle-lady-parts-boo-luke-russert-cry-sexism/

[thelocalrebel]

Hi I love what you're doing with this zine but I saw an ask you've answered a while back and it's odd seeing this rhetoric in local platforms especially when it's questionable in itself. There was an anon q about the terms gender fluid and nonbinary. Gender as I learnt from feminism was a cultural binary system of expectations ascribed to individuals based on their sex. People obvly will not always fit within that system bc its all arbitrary associations that are not inherent characteristics 1/

Of a certain sex. Eg women were not born with a predisposition to wearing skirts. In it’s arbitrarily binary vision it imposes limits on both sexes, with particular harm on women. The two parts to the binary is described as feminine vs masculine. Yet the way the q was answered reflected general thinking elsewhere ie gender was an inherent identity. One cannot “see” or “feel” gender. The idea of ‘brain sex’ has been long debunked and a good book addressing that would be Delusions of Gender 2/

In fact this thinking was what justified the oppression of women eg women brains were just not built for science therefore men could restrict women from STEM w impunity. It’s shocking to see this same thinking w a fresh coat of paint echoed by activists. Whats even more frightening is equating gender roles as inherent to being a man or a woman. To own the right to wear pants or to infringe upon the 'territory’ of men motivated early feminist battles. 3/

It was actually freedom from the oppressive strappings of gender stereotypes. Now it seems wanting to do 'masculine’ things (as if there ever was such a thing) does very much equate to being a man. I would think a better system is to allow an individual of any sex to do whatever they wanted without punishment or censure. This obv doesn’t apply to trans ppl who experience physical dysphoria. In fact the current rhetoric surrounding gender strikes me as making light of/appropriating 4/

the experiences of trans ppl. Tldr there’s no way to feel gender if that feeling is based on gender stereotypes. These 'identities’ should not be treated legitimately bc there are major erroneous issues w their underlying concept and esp bc it’s taking attention away from legitimate issues facing the LGBT community. 5/5

Firstly, thank you for your addition. Could you please link us the ask that sparked your reply? If it is indeed badly worded, we’d like to reword it or at least link it to this answer. (Though if we are thinking of the right ask, it was worded as such in relation to the existing system of gender, because that’s the only way to define those genders. Correct us if we’re wrong).

While we do agree with your sentiment that gender stereotypes are constricting, we wonder if it’s too hasty to conclude that gender doesn’t exist, if that’s what you meant? While yes, stereotypes have influenced what it means to be a certain gender, that doesn’t make gender any less real for those who do identify with it.

P/S how does the current rhetoric of gender appropriate the experiences of trans people? genuine question.