#‘i’ll dream each night of some version of you that i might not have but i did not lose’

[jynersq]

it pains me to say it but noah kahan needs to do hard time for stick season. and that’s FINAL

[marbleluvrofliberty]

rip grantaire you would have HATED noah kahan

[jamietarttsnorthernattitude]

Trick or Treat!! 👻👻

Thank you my talented friend!

Here is a sneak peak at my next whumptober entry where Jamie reconnects with his Mum, tentatively titled i’ll dream each night of some version of you that i might not have, but i did not lose:

Jamie Tartt is three years old when he sees kids in his neighbourhood kicking around a football. He thinks it looks fun in the same way tag or any of the neighbourhood games are. He doesn’t know it will change the trajectory of his life. He doesn’t know the first time his foot hits the ball, it will pulsate through him and feel like an extension of his body. He doesn’t know the glory and pain it will bring him over the rest of his life. No, to little Jamie Tartt, it’s still a game.

It stops being a game the first time his father shows up. For being the third largest city in the UK, Manchester can sometimes feel like a small town. Jamie’s mother, Georgie, doesn’t know how her no-good ex finds out his son is good at football, but he does. And that changes everything.

[pourthewhiskey]

stick season on repeat ♾

[miffyangel]

it’s half my fault but i just like to play the victim 😪

[deadsetobsessions]

Sea Cryptic! Danny AU- Pt. 5

[Pt.1] [Pt.2] [Pt.3] [Pt.4] [Pt.6][Pt.7]

“So you’re that dead kid everyone’s talking about.”

Danny smacked a trash bag into the purple clad vigilante. “You can pick up the glass.”

“Wait, I’m just here to-”

“Bother me when I’m working? At least the litterer brings me cash. You can help clean or you can leave. Plastics go over there.”

Danny pointed at a pile of plastics, ignoring Spoiler’s bemused look. Hard to tell, really, considering her mask.

“I’ll help clean if you answer some questions!” Spoiler chirped, already moving to pick out the glass in the general trash pile Danny’s managed to gather. He nodded.

“Alright. At least you’re helping. The other one just bothers me and leaves his stuff on the beach.”

Spoiler snorted. “I’m Spoiler. Is the litterer Batman?”

“Sure. I don’t really care what his name is,” which was a complete lie, Danny was a fan. It’s just that messing with Batman (especially after he couldn’t clean up after himself, honestly!) overrode his fan behavior. “But if I catch him leaving shit in the waters again…”

Danny frowned, eyes glowing. He could feel- even with his partial tangibility, the muck of Gotham's waters seeping into his boots. It was not giving 'Live, Laugh, Love' to Danny, and he needed it gone.

“Whatever. They dropped a lot of guns down here. You can deal with those too, yeah?”

“I'm pretty sure that's evidence?!”

“If you could call it that.” Danny plucked away the Styrofoam and the hazardous (more than regular, anyways) materials away from the trash pile so Spoiler could dig through with her gloves without contracting sixteen different sorts of illnesses.

“So, what brings you to Gotham?”

Danny pointed at the water. “Came for school. Stayed because you losers polluted the water with dead bodies and gross chemicals.”

“You go to school?”

“Hey, that’s discriminatory.”

“Oops! No, sorry! I meant-”

Danny waved her off, irritably separating a bottle cap from the crushed bottle. Seriously, what’s the point of putting the cap back on if you were going to throw it in the bay anyways?

“It’s fine. How else am I supposed to learn about the advancements made in the scientific industry otherwise?”

Even if Danny wasn’t too sure that science could sure stupidity, but a halfa could dream, right?

"So... do you just... listen in on lectures?"

Danny stared at her. "What else would I do in a class??"

"Oh. I just thought since you're dead and all, you'd do something more... fun?"

"I mean, I could terrorize the local villains for kicks, if that's what you meant."

Spoiler brightened. "Actually, yeah! That would be helpful! If Mr. Freeze keeps bringing the cold during my latte Thursdays, I'm gonna snap and wring his cold little chicken neck."

Danny snorted. "Alright. I will keep an eye out for this Mr. Freeze." Danny paused. "Hey, tell your friend to come down and help us."

"What- oh. Black Bat!" Stephanie waved her partner down. Black Bat gracefully slipped down towards the bay, casually knocking out two goons gunning for Spoiler.

'Careful,' Black Bat signed.

"Thanks!" Spoiler bounced on the heels of her feet. She swept an arm out. "Wanna help?"

Black Bat tilted her head and, after placing Danny under quick but thorough scrutiny, nodded.

'You can get the salvageable stuff. Anything you can't lift, leave to me.' Danny signed clumsily, placing emphasis on can't.

"You know sign language?"

"I'm not too good at it, I just learned this version."

He knew ghost-sign first, after all.

"Chop, chop. I don't have all night."

----

Danny learned that Black Bat had the skill to knock cans into their designated piles if he threw them in the air so she could kick at them.

"You two can come back anytime."

Spoiler whooped while Black Bat leaned back, smug.

"Wait, tell the litterer he owes me $200. He was short last time."

"...Are you telling me Batman owes you money?"

"Yeah. He might be in financial straights, so I gave him some lee-way."

Black Bat and Spoiler looked at each other.

----

"Hey, so guess what I learned about sea boy!"

Bruce's head swiveled to her with startling intensity. The rest of the clan tuned in.

"He knows sign language! Maybe he even knows ancient sign language! And goes to school, but since he's like, dead, he could only listen to the lectures."

"Bruce, Bruce, do not start a ghost-education plan. Stop. We don't even know if he even-" Dick tackled Bruce, who was already writing a petition as Bruce Wayne to give partial credit to students that diligently goes to class.

"Oh, yeah!" Stephanie shouted over the unraveling chaos. "He promised to fuck with our Rogues for a bit so we can get a break! And we also got a bunch of guns!"

"Where? Gimme!" Jason demanded.

"Do not give Todd more firearms!" Damian cut in.

"Also!" Stephanie grinned as Cass shook with laughter. "Batman's a debtor! He owes Phantom $200!"

"Ain't no fucking way." Tim cackled. "Hear that Bruce? That's karma! For not defending me when he called me broke!"

[the-girl-in-chains]

The way I am absolutely MAINLINING Noah Kahans new album 😭😭

[willows-escape]

Symbolic - 1990!Erik x Reader - Part 1

Pairing - Erik (1990! Charles Dance) x (Female) Reader

Summary - the topic of the mask was the last obstacle in your blossoming relationship, and you were desperate to cross the barrier and become fully intertwined with the man you loved and claimed he loved you too.

Warnings - erik’s deformity is a mix of the deformity we see erik have as a child in the 1990 version and the musical, phantom having a small breakdown, the ✨mask✨topic, poorly dealt with feelings, miscommunication, suggestive moments and reference to genitalia and arousal, descriptions of a gory facial disfigurement, intense self hatred, mentions of christine but she’s long gone in this

Word Count - 4,770

Notes - there will be a part 2 i gotchu i gotchu. should part 2 be smutty or also just suggestive? also i tried writing this in a victorian-esque tone but if you arent vibing with that let me know and i’ll switch it up for part 2. i just thought it would be a nice touch.

give me feedback !!! pleasee !!!!

01 (you're here!) / 02

The nearby sound of trickling water gracefully blended into the ambiance of your surroundings; the towering trees above you resembled a verdant canopy. The quilt beneath you protected your body from the prickly blades of grass and artificial soil, offering a comfortable spot to recline with your hair spread out beneath you, shimmering in the artificial light.

You laid supine, hands elevated above you to cradle a book you had recently begun reading. The words captivated your attention, submerging you in a realm of fantasy and euphoria. Reading was your preferred means of escaping reality, a release you frequently yearned for when the burdens of the world weighed on your shoulders. It all faded away when you became engrossed in the pages of a book.

Regrettably, you were not the only person who was aware of your coping mechanisms. The situation was quite an affair, so you wouldn’t delve too deeply into the small details, but the love of your life had at long last informed you of his reciprocal affection for you. It felt magical and otherworldly to hear that sweet confession escape his enthralling lips, his eyes penetrating into the depths of your soul as his hands tenderly grasped your waist. You had witnessed the words that you only ever seemed to hear in your dreams.

So what had left you so apprehensive?

Well, the man you spoke so highly about, Erik, did not seem to return those high opinions for you. There was a part of himself he laboured ceaselessly to conceal from you, a mask that symbolically and literally kept up a barrier between your world and his world to prevent them from intertwining. You’d exchanged tender sentiments, cried tears of anguish and passion the night you’d finally confessed. You clung to each other as if your lives depended on it and subjected each other to a night of basking in vulnerability and fragility as your secrets long harboured tumbled past your tongue before you could restrain them. The morning after was no less exquisite and that of a fairy tale romance, but the barrier remained.

That mask he wore, pale and icy to the touch, silently spoke of his distrust for you. The final puzzle piece that he adamantly refused to fit into place, even for the sake of your love. Oh, it was a cruel predicament indeed! All you desired was to behold the appearance of the man you held dear, but he swore by the highest heavens that his visage would send you fleeing, and that was the last outcome he desired. To some extent, you understood his apprehension, having heard him recount tales of how numerous individuals he had cared for and adored had reacted abhorrently upon the unveiling of his face. But how could he expect the two of you to spend the remainder of your lives together without even a glimpse of his unadorned skin?

You weren't expecting Prince Charming, and while you weren't entirely convinced by his claims of him having a face of nightmares, you did trust that he might not be conventionally attractive. After all, you had never seen him. Besides his gentlemanly actions and his physique that seemed as if it had been crafted by a divine being, you weren't going to assume that he was the most handsome man in the world. You would love him nonetheless. But no matter how greatly you persisted and promised him you wouldn’t leave despite what he looked like, he truly did not believe a word you said. And it hurt.

“A new book, dear?”

You glanced upward, granting the subject of your grovelling a tight lipped smile as you hastily flicked your attention back to the words on the page. No anger dwelled within you, just painful disappointment, and the ache in your heart made it hard to bare the sight of him. “Of course. It’s Jane Eyre.”

He hummed in acknowledgment, his walking cane planted firmly into the ground below. You internally winced as the silence rang loud in the air. You were not seeking to upset your lover, but also somehow desiring to communicate that you weren't entirely pleased at the moment. It appeared that the message had travelled clear, but the upset was unavoidable.

A moment more passed before he spoke, “I feel a chill coming on. Seems as though it’s about to rain, don’t you think? Come, let’s retreat inside before it starts to pour.”

You arched a suspicious eyebrow, fingers still tightly clasped around the novel you held. If the plastic animals scattered around that Erik had stolen from the props department said anything, everything in this quaint woodsy area was unquestionably fake. From the dirt to the grass to the trees, the animals and the sky. It went without saying there would be no rainfall. This meant he wanted to discuss things with you without the distraction of your nose being buried within the pages of a book. And you weren’t entirely sure how to feel about it.

“And why should I do that?” you questioned, paying him no eye contact as you pretended to continue to read.

“You wouldn’t want your clothing to get wet, would you? I won’t be visiting the laundry room of the opera house for another week, hence it would be wise to avoid sullying a valuable item of clothing,” he reasoned, knowing fully well that he’d drop whatever he was currently doing to run and fulfil any request you asked of him, never mind visiting the damn laundry room.

You parted your lips, ready to jestingly remark about how there would indeed be no rainfall. Yet, in that very moment, a peculiar sensation graced your senses. A solitary droplet of water descended upon your nose, its touch cold and trailing a path of dampness as it glided down your nasal bridge. A gasp escaped your lips as more droplets descended, their frequency increasing with each passing moment. In a hastened flurry, you stood upright, clasping your cherished book to your bosom. You abandoned the forgotten quilt as you sprinted through the doors adorned with stained glass, leading you back to Erik's modest dwelling. He followed closely, not far behind your hurried steps.

You’d have to speak to him about putting up a gazebo. To block out the sun, you’d tell him.

“Guess you were right,” you half-heartedly chuckled, absentmindedly tossing the book onto a table to the side of you.

You found yourself in Erik’s room of treasures, where he stored and cherished his most esteemed items, namely his collection of masks and his grand piano. The ambiance within was of a tranquil and serene nature, causing your anger to gradually dissipate. Yet, the sorrow and anguish still lingered within you.

"Forgive me, have I down something to displease you?" Erik questioned, his steps measured and deliberate as if he were trying not to startle you, akin to approaching a timid creature. With utmost gentleness, he lightly laid his hand upon your shoulder, allowing it to glide downward, tracing the contour of your arm.

"Erik…" you whispered, tearing your eyes away from him. Your heart faltered, your breath catching in your throat as his fingertips delicately brushed against your skin. A fire simmered in your core, your veins rushing with hot blood as the touch of his hand engulfed you, overwhelming your senses with a fervour. “I… do not wish to upset you.”

“The only upset you cause me is by not being honest with your feelings,” he replied, hand reaching up to gently trace the skin of your cheek. Your eyes felt weak, gently fluttering shut as you indulged yourself in his affections. “Please, tell me what is troubling you.”

You paused for a moment, allowing yourself to succumb to his touch for a little while longer. The words settled on the tip of your tongue, ready to escape you and take a leap of faith from your mouth to his waiting ears, but you’d already approached this subject with him before and did not wish to push him to frustration or sorrow.

“I just…” you paused, “One day, Erik, do you wish for us to be husband and wife?”

His eyes widened, mouth agape in shock at your blunt statement. He stammered in surprise, removing his hand from your cheek slowly. He drew in a deep breath before answering, “There is nothing I desire more than to be wedded to you. Where is this coming from? Are you feeling as though our relationship is moving too slow? I just didn’t want to frighten you by pushing for more. Why, I’ll marry you tomorrow-”

“Erik, Erik,” you laughed, hand coming up to cup his cheek with your own hand as he was doing to you seconds ago, “I didn’t mean it like that, though I’ll marry you the second you ask it of me. Maybe not tomorrow, however.”

“Ah,” his nerves tingled, goosebumps rising on his skin at the electricity of your touch. He cleared his throat before continuing, “While that is a great relief to me, may I ask as to why you asked that, if not for the reason I previously thought?”

Taking one last final pause, you readied yourself to confess your true want. “I know you’ve said no, and told me to not bring up the subject again… but my love, how can I marry somebody when I have yet to see their face?”

Erik pursed his lips, his eyes shifting down as he began fiddling with the cuffs of his sleeves. You felt dreadful witnessing the unease that the inquiry evoked in him, understanding that it inevitably resurrected distressing memories he longed to forget. Nevertheless, no advancement could transpire between the two of you in your relationship until he allowed you to see his face. You refused to be bound to someone who concealed such an essential aspect of himself, even if you knew the intentions to be entirely pure.

“I can’t do that,” Erik shook his head, walking away from you and moving towards his basket of walking canes. He placed his current one back with the bunch, before busying himself with rearranging his mask collection. He didn’t want to stray too far from you, but also wanted you to drop the subject.

You quietly tip toed behind him, enveloping him in your arms as you wrapped them around his waist and placed your head on his broad shoulder. You audibly heard his breathing pause, feeling him shiver as he relished in your touch. But nevertheless, he pushed on with rearranging his collection, although he wasn’t moving side to side around the table as he was doing previously.

“But why?” you asked.

“You know why, my face is that of nightmares. And I’ve hurt too many by showing them what they believed they could handle. My expectations are realistic.”

“You could never hurt me!” You insisted, your emotions getting the best of you as you retreated from him. He hunched over slightly, hands resting upon the clear spot of table in front of him to steady himself. His head twitched to the side as he bit his bottom lip in thought.

“Dear, I know you think that I exaggerate when I speak of my face, but I can assure you that I do not lie out of simple insecurity. My own father hid me down here due to my appearance, that must speak volumes,” he sighed, coming up once again to stand straight. “Now please, do not ask again.”

“So when I inevitably return to wallowing in my own feelings and escaping to the woods for hours at a time again, will you tell me to not ask again when you approach the subject of my feelings once more?” you tried to reason, desperately wanting him to view the situation from your point of view.

He didn’t respond for a little while, evidently pondering your words that he knew deep down held some veracity. The matter of the mask was evidently causing you distress, and he couldn't fathom any solution that would alleviate your concerns. But alas, he simply couldn't bring himself to do so.

“I’m sorry, my answer’s no.”

Tears welled up in your eyes, shimmering with unspoken pain and longing. Your vision blurred as a single tear cascaded down your cheek, tracing a path of sorrow. Your body trembled with silent sobs, your shoulders shook as you struggled to hold back the flood of emotions that threatened to consume you. The ache in your heart grew stronger, as if each tear shed was a testament to the love and vulnerability you had offered, only to be met with rejection.

“My dear, please, don’t cry over me,” his arms swiftly enfolded you in an embrace, his own frame quivering with an inability to endure the sight of your tears. With a resolute tenderness, he pressed his chilled lips upon your forehead, bestowing a gentle kiss as he cradled your head against his chest. In a steady rhythm, he swayed, seeking to soothe your anguish and stifle the heart breaking sounds that escaped your lips.

“How can I not?” you wept, fingers shaking from how firmly you were clinging onto his white button up shirt. You were grabbing on to him so tight you feared your nails would pierce holes in the delicate fabric, but you couldn’t bring yourself to relinquish your grip no matter how much you internally fought with yourself. Nothing you were doing seemed to be venting your frustrations adequately, leaving you at a loss for how to cope. "My love, the very essence of my existence, the one who breathes life into me, steadfastly refuses to show me his face."

“You must understand- I feel for you exactly as you describe your feelings for me, if not tenfold. That’s why I can’t show you. I’m protecting you just as much I want to protect myself,” he confessed, eyes squeezing shut as his swaying slowed to a stop. His grip was becoming tighter and tighter.

“I know life has dealt you an unfair hand, Erik, I’ve heard your cries and witnessed your heartbreak. I was there for you all throughout Christine, I was there to see your regret and misery as she left you behind. I did not leave your side for a second. I know the great despair and trauma her reaction to your face cast upon you, but please believe not a hair on my head resembles Christine. I will not hurt you the same.”

Erik held you a little longer, his embrace becoming even more so impossibly tighter. He wasn’t urgent to reply, instead allowing himself to bask in your love for as long as he could manage. Your sweet love was an addiction, an ambrosia he craved every single waking hour. But even then you lived in his dreams, your angelic presence blessing him wherever he went or whatever state he was in.

“I love you, Erik,” you spoke, looking upwards towards him as he began to tilt his head to share your unwavering gaze.

“I love you too,” he said.

“So show me,” you whispered, eyes glistening with tears and lips downturned into a subtle frown.

You took one last look into his eyes, before pushing yourself forward and up. Your lips met in a fervent union, a culmination of the deepest desires and longings that had long been brewing between you both. It was a kiss imbued with a delicate tenderness and an irresistible urgency, your mouths moving in perfect harmony. Each brush of his lips sent electric waves coursing through your body, igniting a blazing fire within your soul. In that timeless moment, you and him surrendered yourselves completely, losing all sense of time and space. It was a kiss that spoke volumes, a silent pledge of profound love and unwavering devotion.

As you reluctantly broke the intimate connection, succumbing to the need for a breath of air, your gaze met his half-lidded eyes. His lips were swollen, and his tongue darted out to moisten his bottom lip as he inhaled deeply. A blush crept across your cheeks as you attempted to conceal the rapid beating of your heart, finally becoming aware of his hands that had gradually ventured downward, tenderly tracing the curves of your waist.

He silently took a moment to recover, savouring the lingering taste of your kiss. It was unlike any other you had shared before - no longer innocent and brief, but a passionate embrace that ignited a fire within you. As your lips met, it felt as if the world around you faded away, leaving only the two of you in a moment of pure bliss. The intensity of your connection was palpable, like a match being scraped against a stone, creating small sparks that danced and flickered between your bodies. It was a kiss that left you both breathless, your hearts racing with newfound desire and a longing for more.

“If you really insist on seeing my face, come with me to your room. I do not wish to make you feel cornered, but if you are to faint I wish for you to not bring yourself harm.”

You nodded eagerly, your heart pounding with a mix of excitement and anticipation. The kiss you shared made every colour appear more vibrant and the air feel lighter, filling every fibre of your being with pure bliss. As you followed him, each step felt buoyant, as if you were walking on air.

It didn’t take long for you to reach your room. Erik was very against you two sharing a bedroom, stating that he did not wish to make you uncomfortable or feel trapped next to him, when the reality couldn’t be farther from that. But you feared that he might’ve just been projecting, that he was the one who felt uncomfortable and trapped with the idea of you two sharing a room, so you’d left the topic alone for another day. That day still hasn’t arrived.

Erik took a hold of your hand, gently pulling you in and shutting the door behind you. He shook slightly, so lightly that you almost thought your eyes were deceiving you. “Are you sure about this, y/n?”

“More sure than I’ve ever been about anything, besides how much I love you,” you giggled.

“I… will not keep you down here, if you decide you never want to see me again. I’ve learnt my lessons, do not fear you reaching the same fate Christine did when she reacted negatively.”

You wanted to protest his words, state that you feeling negatively towards him was inconceivable and never going to happen. You also wanted to tell him to stop mentioning Christine, just the utterance of her name made you scowl. But you didn’t want to argue at a time like this, so you just nodded your head.

“Before I take this awful thing off… that kiss was everything I’ve ever wanted and more. If after this you no longer love me, please know that your display of love made me feel like a normal, living man, and that I’m doing this because I know I can die happy after the fact, if you were to leave.”

“I’m honoured to be able to make you feel that way, my love.”

He hesitantly extended his hand towards the strings that secured his mask to his head, skillfully undoing the knot he had carefully tied. As he prepared to remove the mask, he couldn't help but steal a final wistful glance at you, savoring the moment before gradually peeling it away from his skin, gripping the edges tightly with his other hand. The air seemed to hold its breath as the mask revealed the vulnerable visage beneath, unveiling a hidden side that had long been concealed.

His face was a grotesque sight, something that defied accurate description. The skin was cruelly stripped away, revealing the raw and twisted muscles beneath. It was a horrifying visage, and it made your heart ache. He was deformed, disfigured; the only parts of his face that were covered in flesh were swollen and bright red, contrasting the pale whiteness of his bone. You tried your best to swallow the gasp that was pushing past your throat, but you were human.

You were sure you could hear the sound of his heart shattering, but you were so shocked you could only watch as he crumbled to his knees before you. His screams and cries made you nauseous, his repeated wails of, ‘why!? why!? why!?’ as he grabbed onto the hem of your skirt, hiding his face in the fabric in his suffering. You snapped back into reality, falling to your knees in front of him.

“Erik, no, please-”

“Go, please. Leave me.”

“No, please, hear me out. I don’t hate you-”

“This is hardly a face you’d want to marry!” he protested, burying his face deeper into the fabric of your skirt, resisting as you tried to pull it away. “You may not hate me, but you’re scared! Is this the face of a man you could wake up next to, spend the rest of your love with, make love to at night before we sleep? Please just go!”

“No!” you cried, relenting on your attempts to tear his desperate self away from your skirt. You wrapped your arms around him, this time cradling him against your bosom as you rocked back and forth. You felt the tension slowly dissipate from his form. “I do not hate you and I am not scared of you! I want to do all those things with you, Erik, please I swear!”

His quiet sobs continued to echo through the air, his scared body shaking erratically. With utmost tenderness, you cradled his quivering form in your arms, holding him close and providing a safe haven for his shattered heart. Gently, you brushed your fingers through his hair, whispering words of love and reassurance into his ear. Your touch and soothing voice offered him comfort and solace, doing your best to remind him that your love extended far beyond mere physical appearances.

In that moment, as he sought refuge in your embrace, you felt an overwhelming surge of love and compassion for this broken man before you. Despite the mask he wore, both symbolically and literally, you saw the depth of his pain and the vulnerability he rarely allowed others to witness. Your heart ached for him, yearning to heal the wounds that had haunted him for far too long.

"You are more than your face, Erik," you whispered softly, your voice filled with unwavering affection. "Your heart, your soul, and the love we share transcends any physical imperfections. I love you for who you are, please believe that."

As his sobs gradually subsided, he looked up at you with tear-filled eyes, searching for a glimmer of hope and acceptance. In that moment, you saw a spark of belief flicker within him, a tiny beacon of light amidst the darkness that had consumed him for so long.

"I… I want to believe you," he choked out, his voice trembling with both fear and longing. "But all my life people have only said different. How can they when I don’t have a face, and only the resemblance of a face?”

You held his face gently in your hands, your touch conveying a tenderness that words alone could not express. "I understand. I’m sorry for reacting like that, please forgive me. I love you regardless of your face, it was just unlike anything I’d ever seen before. That’s all. I feel no differently for you than how I felt before you removed the mask.”

He hesitantly inclined towards your touch, his eyes seeking yours for reassurance and acquiescence. He quivered as a vehement cry escaped his lips once more, bedewing your bodice in his tears. Yet, you cared not the slightest, more preoccupied with consoling the poor man trembling before you.

You both sat together on the floor of your bedroom for an indeterminate span of time, but to you it felt like hours. You cradled him like a mother would her infant, tenderly caressing and comforting him with gentle touches and whispered reassurances. You hadn’t seen Erik shed tears since the evening of your confession, and you could only surmise that all the trepidation and unease had finally reached a breaking point and crumbled along with his composure. It deeply saddened you to know the man you loved so intensely hated himself and had been hated so harshly by those around him. You vowed to never cause him pain like everybody else had as long as you both lived.

Eventually, he withdrew from you, gracefully settling on his knees, his hands still shielding his face from your view, protecting his vulnerability. He wiped away the glistening tears that adorned his cheeks, his other hand instinctively seeking to conceal himself from your gaze. A pensive frown graced your mouth as you hesitantly reached upward, your fingers yearning to grasp his trembling hands, only to recoil as he instinctively recoiled in response to your advance.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’ve seen it all now, haven’t I?” you hushed, hands dropping from his hands but instead reaching up to smooth back his hair with your fingers.

He sniffled quietly, “Forgive me, I did not intend on frightening you. I am simply unused to showing my bare face around others, it’s unfamiliar.”

“Of course, I understand, love,” you smiled, gently trailing your hand down the side of his face. Goosebumps littered his skin like a trail.

You moved closer to him, your heart racing with anticipation. You kept one hand on his face, basking in the warmth of his skin that didn't have any disfigurement. Your other hand gently draped over his shoulder as you approached, your fingers delicately tracing the contours of his back. He quivered beneath your touch, his legs extending out from under him to create a space for you to come impossibly closer. As you lowered yourself onto his lap, a surge of electricity coursed through your veins. His breath, warm and intoxicating, caressed your skin, sending shivers down your spine. His hands trembled with uncertainty, itching to remove themselves from his face to come down and touch you instead. You chuckled.

“You can hold me.”

His breath caught in his throat, his mind filled with a whirlwind of desires as he absorbed the words that flowed from your enchanting lips. You couldn't help but chuckle softly, savouring the profound effect you had on the man beneath you.

“I’d like to put on my mask, dear,” Erik finally spoke, “As much as I love having you so close, I’m not ready to show myself to you so unashamedly yet.”

With a nod of your head, you stepped back, allowing him the space he needed to shroud his face from view. Though you comprehended the internal struggle he faced after years of hiding, a bittersweet pang of sadness tugged at the depths of your heart. The poignant reality that he still felt the need to shield himself wounded you deeply. But you tried to keep reminding yourself that it wasn’t personal.

He swiftly and efficiently retied the strings, maintaining his determination, as he stood up following you. You leaned in and planted a brief but meaningful kiss on his lips, savoring the moment before reluctantly breaking away. With a mix of emotions swirling inside, you diverted your attention, attempting to shift your focus away from the recent event that had transpired.

“I’ll be out dusting the statues, you haven’t kept up with them in a while and I’d noticed them on the way in and I think they could really use a clean. I’ll speak to you later.” You quickly retreated from the room without even sparing a second glance.

Erik stood there, mouth agape, unable to comprehend the suddenness of your departure. His mind was flooded with a multitude of questions, doubts, and confusion, hindering his ability to think clearly. As he glanced around the room, an overwhelming sense of awe washed over him, as he tried to process the intensity of the moment and the speed at which you had vanished from his presence. Meanwhile, his body felt an uncomfortable strain, as his arousal pressed insistently against the constricting fabric of his trousers, adding yet another layer of complexity to his already tumultuous thoughts.

You were no less aroused, the tingling sensation in your nether regions proving that you had been mutually affected by your lover. Oh lord, this was going to cause problems.

[unfinishedmaps]

“I’ll dream each night of some version of you that I might not have but I did not lose.”

Noah Kahan, Stick Season

[lfghughes]

Can you write a second chance romance fic with Trevor using the lyrics “and I am no longer funny because I miss the way you laugh” and “I’ll dream each night if some version of you that I might not have, but I did not lose” from Stick Season by Noah Khan?

a/n: i just want to say that stick season is one of my favorite songs to exist and his whole album has a special place in my heart so i love you so so much anon

When the break up first happened even though Trevor felt empty he had managed to distract himself. Hockey season was on, his schedule was busy so it was easy to keep his mind off the fact that the girl he was in love with had broken up with him. His schedule at the time was hectic and he wasn’t willing to really make the efforts needed to maintain a good relationship. Once his schedule slowed down that was when it hit him hard.

The person he wanted to come home to wasn’t here but the memory of her was everywhere around his place. He wondered if there were still memories of him at her place. What she had done with some of the things he had left behind. If she had saved the things in a drawer somewhere like he had with her things. As he laid in bed he thought about everything in the relationship.

Her laughter still rung deeply in his mind. He would do or say about anything just to hear that laugh and when she would laugh at something dumb he said he thought he was the funniest guy in the world. Now he knew he wasn’t funny, not without her laughter encouraging him. Trevor knew some answers he could get from going on social media and seeing what she was up to or if she had a boyfriend now but that was painful.

Instead he let himself think about the person he had, that exact version and how happy they were when things weren’t as chaotic. This was how he chose to see her instead of the person he lost. An idiot, that’s how he felt right now. He had nothing fully planned for his summer and all he knew was he hated this part of himself. There was something missing and he knew it was her. She was his other half and he needed to fix what he had done.

Trevor grabbed his phone from where it laid on the pillow next to him and before he could stop himself he called the number he knew by heart. “Hello?” Her voice rang on the other side of the phone and his heart skipped a beat. “Hey, what are you doing this weekend?” Forward and kind of straight to the point. “Not much…Is everything okay?” Concern etched into her voice. “Me and you, dinner this weekend.” He was willing to do whatever she wanted and he just hoped that the answer would be yes.

“Okay, sure..” A deep sigh of relief fell from Trevors lips the minute he heard her okay. The rest of the phone call they spent it catching up on some things. He did manage to poke around and find out that she was still single, not that he would get his hopes up about that. Then all he had to do later this week was prepare for dinner.

The rest of the week flew by and when dinner with her came around, Trevor had everything she needed. They had decided on eating in and he would cook. This also meant that Trevor had to do a lot of decorating because he still wanted this to be kind of romantic in hopes of getting a second chance. From the look in her eyes when she walked in, that was exactly the message she got. Dinner went smoothly and the laughter that would fall from her lips at certain moments was music to his ears.

The night almost passed by too quickly and now here they were saying goodbye. “So Trevor…What exactly is going on?” She asked and he knew this was the moment he had to just spit out his feelings. “I should have taken us a lot more seriously and I didn’t realize what I had until I no longer had it. I don’t know if it’s something you’d want to try again but if you’d give me that second chance, trust me I wouldn’t take advantage of it.” A small smile grew on her lips as she listened to everything she had wanted to hear for months. “I don’t want to just jump right back in…But I’m willing to slowly work on us and hopefully get to where we were.”

[curiositymemes]

STICK SEASON: WE'LL ALL BE HERE FOREVER.

taken from the 2023 album by noah kahan. trigger warnings for mental illness, trauma, medication, references to suicide, and the exquisite agony of life in rural new england. feel free to change wording and pronouns and provide context as necessary. do not add to this list.

northern attitude.

how you been? 

you settled down?

you feelin’ right? 

you feelin’ proud?

you settle in to routine.

what does it mean? 

i’m not how you hoped.

you’re gettin’ lost.

scared to live, scared to die. 

you’re feelin’ lost.

stick season.

you must’ve had yourself a change of heart.

now i am stuck between my anger and the blame that i can’t face.

it’s half my fault, but i just like to play the victim. 

i’ll dream each night of some version of you that i might not have but i did not lose. 

i thought that if i piled something good on all my bad i could cancel out the darkness i inherited from dad. 

i miss the way you laugh.

you once called me forever now you still can’t call me back.

that’ll have to do.

my other half was you.

i hope this pain’s just passin’ through, but i doubt it. 

all my love.

how have things been?

well, love, now that you mention it.

i’m sayin’ too much, but you know how it gets out here.

now i know your name, but not who you are.

it’s all okay, there ain’t a drop of bad blood.

you got all my love.

if you need me, dear, i’m the same as i was.

what i’d give to have you out of me.

i still recall how the leather in your car feels.

and at the end of it all, i just hope that your scars heal.

i swear i was scared to death.

i smiled stupid the whole way home.

you said, ‘i’ll never let you go.’

she calls me back.

there was heaven in your eyes. 

everything’s alright.

look at me and don’t you lie.

don’t you hold your head up high.

for bullshit, i do not have time.

do you lie awake restless?

why am i so obsessive?

this town’s the same as you left it.

the radio is taunting me.

i don’t get much sleep most nights.

i’m seeing you in every dream.

if only i could fall asleep. 

i’ll love you when the oceans dry. 

i was too afraid of living life in your footsteps.

come over.

it was there when we got here, will be there when we leave.

you won’t have to guess who they’re speakin’ about.

i’m in the process of clearin’ out cobwebs. 

i was takin’ the wrong meds; feels good to be sad.

my house is just barely big enough for my family.

my mouth was designed for my foot to fit in it.

i promise you, darlin’.

you won’t ever go back.

i know that it ain’t much.

i know that it ain’t cool.

you don’t have to tell the other kids at school.

someday i’m gonna be somebody people want.

new perspective.

makin’ me nostalgic.

we were kids; but that don’t make this less hard.

if i could fly i doubt i’d even do it. 

i’d probably get high and crash or somethin’ stupid.

gave me your word.

i can’t pronounce it.

no thing so sure that i can’t learn to doubt it.

everywhere, everything.

would we survive in a horror movie?

we trust everyone we meet.

we’re littered with scars from our preteens.

i wanna love you ‘til we’re food for the worms to eat.

‘til our fingers decompose, keep my hand in yours. 

i know every route in this county.

maybe that ain’t such a bad thing.

i’ll tell you where not to speed.

it’s been a long year.

orange juice.

honey, come over.

it’s yours if you want it.

we’re just glad you could visit. 

feels like i’ve been ready for you to come home for so long.

i didn’t think to ask you where you’d gone. 

why’d you go?

my heart has changed and my soul has changed.

you just asked me to hold you.

it made you a stranger and it filled you with anger.

my life has changed.

the world has changed.

don’t you find it strange that you just went ahead and carried on?

are we all just pullin’ you down?

strawberry wine.

darling, speak to me.

don’t you say a word.

you thought you were cursed?

i’m in love with every song you’ve ever heard.

if i could lose you, i would.

all the time we used to have.

the things i miss but know are never coming back. 

no thing defines a man like love that makes him soft.

growing sideways.

finally found some middle ground.

i said, ‘i’m cured.’

i divvied up my anger into thirty separate parts.

i’m still angry at my parents for what their parents did to them.

it’s a start.

but i ignore things and i move sideways ‘til i forget what i felt in the first place.

i know there are worse ways to stay alive.

everyone’s growing and everyone’s healthy.

if my engine works perfect on empty, i guess i’ll drive. 

i forgot my medication, fell into a manic high.

now i’m sufferin’ in style.

why is pain so damn impatient? ain’t like it’s got a place to be.

if all my time was wasted, i don’t mind. 

i’ll watch it go.

it’s better to die numb than feel it all.

halloween.

the dawn isn’t here, the sun hasn’t rose.

they got money to make and children back home.

i worry for you, you worry for me.

the bridges have long since been burnt. 

i’m leavin’ this town and i’m changin’ my address.

i know that you’ll come if you want.

i’m losin’ myself.

i’m seein’ my life on a screen.

i know that you fear that i’m wicked and weary.

i know that you’re fearin’ the end. 

i only tell the truth when i’m sure that i’m lyin’. 

homesick.

are you bored yet?

the weather ain’t been bad if you’re into masochistic bullshit.

this place is such great motivation for anyone tryna move the fuck away from hibernation. 

time moves so damn slow i swear i feel my organs failing.

i stopped caring ‘bout a month ago, since then it’s been smooth sailing. 

i would leave if only i could find a reason. 

i got dreams, but i cant make myself believe them. 

i’ll spend the rest of my life with what could have been. 

i will die in the house that i grew up in.

i’m homesick. 

still.

i don’t wanna say goodbye.

it only falls into place when you’re fallin’ to pieces.

you miss something that you can’t place but you can’t deny it. 

you can’t stay here.

it’s hard to face and it feels too ugly.

it’s like i’m still here with you. 

can i fix what is broken?

the view between villages (extended). 

for a minute, the world seems so simple.

i am not scared of death.

i’ve got dreams again.

there is meanin’ on earth. 

i feel so far from it.

it’s all washin’ over me. 

i’m angry again. 

the things that i lost here, the people i knew.

they got me surrounded for a mile or two. 

i found a town big enough for anything i want.

i’m not a city girl, by any means.

it still has a lot of meaning to me.

i grew up there. 

your needs, my needs.

you ain’t gotta tell me what it means.

i promise to be there this time. alright? 

you were a work of art.

that’s the hardest part.

i’m naming the stars in the sky after you.

dial drunk.

i promised to forget you.

i ain’t takin’ any fault.

am i half the man i used to be? i doubt it.

forget about it, whatever.

it’s all the same anyways.

i ain’t proud of all the punches that i’ve thrown. 

for the shame of being young, drunk, and alone.

i gave your name as my emergency phone call.

i’d die for you.

from charmin’ to alarmin’ in seconds.

i’ll let the pain metastasize.

i beg you, sir, just let me call.

let’s wait, i swear she’ll call me back.

son, are you a danger to yourself?

fuck that, sir.

son, why do you do this to yourself?

paul revere.

this place had a heartbeat in its day.

nothin’ was the same.

it just ain’t that simple, it never was.

one day i’m gonna cut it clear.

i’m not from around here.

i’ll leave before the road crew’s out. 

i’ll turn up the music and i’ll forget.

i’m not ready to let go yet.

i’ll just pretend i didn’t hear.

it’s typical, i fear.

folks just disappear.

if i could leave, i would’ve already left.

no complaints.

i thought i had something and that’s the same as having something.

i get mad at nothing.

i pull no punches, then feel bad for months.

thought i was raised better, tried to fake better.

now the weight of the world ain’t so bad.

i saw the end, it looks just like the middle.

i filled the hole in my head with prescription medication.

who am i to complain?

now the pain’s different. It still exists, it just escapes different.

yes, i’m young and living dreams.

i’m in love with being noticed and afraid of being seen.

call your mom.

oh, you’re spiralin’ again.

don’t you cancel any plans.

stayed on the line with you the entire night ‘til you let it out and let it in.

don’t let this darkness fool you.

i’ll drive all night.

i’ll call your mom.

oh, dear, don’t be discouraged.

i’ve been exactly where you are.

if you could see yourself like this.

you’dve never tried it.

stayed on the line with you the entire night ‘til you told me that you had to go.

throw a punch, fall in love, give yourself a reason.

don’t wanna drive another mile wonderin’ if you’re breathin’.

won’t you stay with me?

you’re gonna go far. 

this is good land, or at least it was.

it takes a strong hand and a sound mind.

it makes me smile to know when things get hard, you’ll be far from here.

pack up your car.

put a hand to your heart.

say whatever you feel.

be wherever you are.

we ain’t angry at you, love. 

you’re the greatest thing we’ve lost.

the birds will still sing.

we’ll be waiting for you, love.

we’ll all be here forever.

we spent so long just getting by.

that’s the thing about survival; who the hell likes livin’ just to die?

you told me you would make a difference.

it won’t be by your own volition if you step foot outside this town.

it’s all we’ve had for always.

you’re gonna go far.

if you wanna go far, then you gotta go far.

forever.

let’s drive for no reason.

you look fine in the evening.

honey, it’s starting to storm.

used to wish i meant anything to anywhere, to anyone.

i’m glad i get forever to see where you end.

i won’t be alone for the rest of my life.

i’ll meet a girl in the heat of july.

i’ll tell her so she knows.

i’m broke, but i’m real rich in my head.

when i hold her close, i might loosen my grip, but i won’t ever let her go.

[aveegrex]

TRAINING DAY

How does the saying go again? If you can't find a perfect fuck, train them yourself?

genre: smut pairing: Gojo, Toji, Nanami x f!reader (separately) word count: 0,7k cw: oral (f! and m! receiving), deepthroat, fingering (f! receiving), anal fingering (f! receiving), unprotected sex, unprotected anal sex, sex toys, anal toys, going commando in public, semi-public usage of sex toys, semi-public fingering, creampies, food play

author's note: might change the text a bit later, or upload another version. I'm too horny to just leave it at that

Gojo trains your pussy. 

Addicted to the power he has over you, he only wants more. Having you tear up each time he fucks you stupid is not enough, no. Who needs that when he can make your sweet cunt drool by simply snapping his fingers? Snap! - and here you are, squeezing your thighs in need as memories of his tongue and lips make your hole clench. Snap! - and your legs part open on their own, clit throbbing under his hot breath. 

“Just like that, sweetheart” he muses, a playful grin plastered across his insufferable face as his cherry lollipop teases your folds. 

You writhe under his touch, ready to take whatever he gives you because that’s how dumb he trained you to be.It can be his hot mouth, latched to your core as you’re on the phone with someone, tugging on his locks to urge him closer. 

It can be his long fingers rubbing that sweet spot inside you as you tug on your tiny skirt right in the middle of some random amusement park, ashamed and turned on since he stole your panties about 15 minutes ago. 

Or it can be his dick, forcing a gush of slick out of you the second it springs free from his boxers, the sight alone bringing out the muscle memories of how full it makes you feel each time it bruises your cervix. 

You take whatever he gives you,obediently and gladly, and Gojo’s ecstatic. He was never much of a pet person, but your pussy is too well-behaved to not love. 

Toji trains your ass. 

I mean, how can he not? It’s no use hiding his nature as a dedicated ass man, and he definitely holds no shame in how much he fantasizes about your cute butthole welcoming him home after an exhausting mission. It took so long to get your other hole used to him, and he can only imagine how much time he’ll need to fit through the backdoor, but would you now expect him to give up on his dream? 

No, he’s been through enough blinding orgasms, rubbing his dick raw to the thought of your tight ass swallowing him in reverse cowgirl, and he can’t wait no more. 

He’s thorough with it. Tongue, fingers, plugs, beads and dildos - he does it all, stretching you out little by little, making you used to clenching around some toy when he makes your toes curl every night. 

“Aat’s right, doll, hold it in, yeah?” he muses, dick throbbing against your cum-coated cunt, a thick plug stuffing you full from behind. 

“Show me, doll, don’t go shy on me now” and you hike up your skirt, forehead pressed into the bathroom stall door at some sports bar, your juices smeared all over your inner thighs as your favorite vibrator hums inside you, inches away from his face. 

“Atta girl, f-fuck” he gasps, as another load heats your insides, and you smile, fixing your make up with your bare ass still up in the air. He wastes no time pushing a string of beads inside, a pro level task about to be presented to you. “Now don’t spill it in front of your friends, and I’ll add more once you’re back”

Nanami trains your throat. 

Coming home after dealing with his packed schedule, melting on the couch still in his dark gray slacks, all it takes is a distinct dangle of his belt and here you are, kneeling before him with your hair already out of your face.

"Know me so well, pretty" he keens, lazy smile dancing in the corners of his mouth. Belt undone, he urges you closer, strong hand pressing you gently into his musky crotch.

"Feel that, hm?" and you nod, nose digging tighter against his clothed cock. "You do, yeah. Means daddy needs your mouth now, remember?"

You nod again and he groans, a rare swear word falling from his lips. A tug to his Calvins and his dick springs free, heavy balls spasming under your hot breath.

You know by now your throat's gonna be sore all weekend, and your lips will be numb by the time he's done for the night. A familiar tingle in your clit makes you smile at him, lips already leaving small tender kisses all along his length before wrapping around the wet tip. 

"Breadwinner, huh" he chuckles, guiding you nose first into his pubes with ease. "Glad my baby prefers cream"

MDNI, reblogs and comments are welcome, study well!

tagging: @muzans

© 2022 AVEEGREX, all rights reserved. reposting and copying my works without my consent is forbidden.

[serendipnpipity]

augh you know that one line in “Stick Season” by Noah Kahan where it goes

“I’ll dream each night of some version of you that I might not have but I did not lose.”

it makes me think of these two fics (x) & (x) and now my heart hurts 😫

[bo-hoey]

“And I’ll dream each night of some version of you that I might not have but I did not loose”

~Stick season, Noah Kahn

[stardustprompts]

stick season  ( we’ll all be here forever )  -   noah kahan change tenses/pronouns as needed !!  some lines have been edited for clarity / length / ease of roleplaying tw ;  mental heath ,  alcoholism ,  death ,  suicidal references ,  language

‘if I get too close and I’m not how you hoped, forgive my northern attitude.’

‘oh, I was raised out in the cold.’ 

‘as you promised me that I was more than all the miles combined, you must have had yourself a change of heart like halfway through the drive.’ 

‘now i’m stuck between my anger and the blame that I can’t face.’ 

‘I am terrified of weather ‘cause I see you when it rains.’ 

‘I saw your mom she forgot that I existed.’ 

‘it’s half my fault, but I just like to play the victim.’

‘i’ll dream each night of some version of you that I might not have, but I did not lose.’ 

‘now you’re tire tracks and one pair of shoes and I’m split in half, but that’ll have to do.’

‘so I thought that if I piled something good on all my bad that I could cancel out the darkness I inherited from dad.’

‘I am no longer funny ‘cause I miss the way you laugh.’ 

‘you once called me ‘forever’ now you still can’t call me back.’ 

‘I hope this pain’s just passing through, but I doubt it.’ 

‘I’m saying too much, but you know how it gets out here.’ 

‘no winter coat could keep out all the cold of your atmosphere.’ 

‘now I know your name but not who you are.’ 

‘it’s all okay, there ain’t a drop of bad blood.’

‘you got all my love.’

‘if you need me, dear, I’m the same as I was.’ 

‘write me a list of how it is, of how it was, of how it has to be.’ 

‘you burrowed in, under my skin, what I’d give to have you out from me.’ 

‘but I still recall how the leather in your car feels.’ 

‘at the end of it all, I just hope that your scars heal.’ 

‘I swear I was scared to death.’ 

‘I’ll never let you go.’ 

‘everything’s alright when she calls me back.’ 

‘for bullshit, I do not have time.’ 

‘I don’t get much sleep most nights.’ 

‘I’ll love you when the oceans dry. I’ll love you when the rivers freeze.’ 

‘do you lie awake restless?’ 

‘oh, there was heaven in your eyes.’ 

‘I was too afraid of living life in your footsteps.’ 

‘i’m in the business of losing your interest and I turn a profit each time that we speak.’ 

‘come over.’ 

‘I was taking the wrong meds, feels good to be sad.’ 

‘my mouth was designed for my foot to fit in it.’ 

‘the dow jones keeps falling, but I promise you, with the view in the morning, you won’t ever go back.’ 

‘someday I’m gonna be somebody people want.’ 

‘you gave me your word, and now I can’t pronounce it.’ 

‘would we survive in a horror movie? I doubt it, we’re too slow moving. we trust everyone one we meet.’

‘we didn’t know that the sun was collapsing.’

‘I wanna love you ‘til we’re food for the worms to eat.’ 

‘til our fingers decompose, keep my hand in yours.’

‘it’s been a long year.’

‘come over, the party’s gone slower. and no one will tempt you, we know you got sober.’ 

‘there’s orange juice in the kitchen. it’s yours if you want it.’ 

‘feels like i’ve been ready for you to come home for so long that I didn’t think to ask you where you’d gone.’ 

‘why’d you go?’ 

‘I haven’t drank in six months on the dot.’ 

‘it made you a stranger and it filled you with anger.’

‘don’t you find it strange that you just went ahead and carried on?’

‘are we all just pulling you down?’ 

‘remember telling me that you thought you were cursed?’ 

‘I’m in love with every song you’ve ever heard.’ 

‘if I could lose you, I would.’ 

‘those things I miss, but know are never coming back.’ 

‘no thing defines a man like love that makes him soft and sentimental like a stranger in the park.’ 

‘if I was empty space, and you were a formless shape, we’d fit.’ 

‘I’m still angry at my parents, for what their parents did to them.’ 

‘I ignore things, and I move sideways ‘til I forget what I felt in the first place.’

‘at the end of the day, I know there are worse ways to stay alive.’

‘I’m terrified that I might never have met me.’ 

‘if my engine works perfect on empty, I guess I’ll drive.’ 

‘why is pain so damn impatient? ain’t like it’s got a place to be, keeps rushing me.’ 

‘if all my life was wasted, I don’t mind, I’ll watch it go.’ 

‘it’s better to die numb than to feel it all.’ 

‘I drink ‘til I drown, and I smoke ‘til I’m burning.’ 

‘I worry for you, you worry for me. and it’s fine if we know we won’t change.’ 

‘the wreckage of you, I no longer reside in. the bridges have long since been burnt.’ 

‘it’s not halloween but the ghost you dressed up as sure knows how to haunt.’ 

‘I know that you fear that I’m wicked and weary.’ 

‘I know that you’re fearing the end.’

‘I only tell truth when I’m sure that I’m lying.’

‘the weather ain’t been bad if you’re into masochistic bullshit.’ 

‘time moves so damn slow, I swear I feel my organs failing.’ 

‘I stopped caring ‘bout a month ago, since then it’s been smooth sailing.’

‘I would leave if only I could find a reason.’  

‘I got dreams, but I can’t make myself believe them.’

‘spend the rest of my life with what could’ve been.’ 

‘I will die in the house that I grew up in.’ 

‘I don’t wanna say goodbye.’

‘it only falls into place when you’re falling to pieces.’

‘it’s like i’m still here with you.’ 

‘the past is coming back with the light in the morning.’ 

‘can I fix what is broken?’ 

‘for a minute, the world seems so simple.’

‘I am not scared of death, I’ve got dreams again.’

‘it’s all washing over me, I’m angry again.’ 

‘who was I to watch you wilt?’ 

‘you’ll always be a flower on my skin.’ 

‘I promise to be there this time, alright?’ 

‘I’m naming the stars in the sky after you.’ 

‘I spiral out, try and float.’ 

‘i’m remembering I promised to forget you now.’

‘it’s raining and I’m calling drunk.’ 

‘am I honest still?’ 

‘am I half the man I used to be? I doubt it, forget about it.’ 

‘I ain’t proud of all the punches that I’ve thrown, in the name of someone I no longer know.’ 

‘I’ll die for you.’ 

‘I’m untethering from the part of me you’d recognize.’

‘I’ll let the pain metastasize.’

‘I gave your name as my emergency phone call. it rang and rang, even the cops thought you were wrong for hanging up.’ 

‘it just ain’t that simple, it never was.’ 

‘I’m not from around here.’

‘i’ll turn up the music and I’ll forget until it ends, that I’m not ready to let go yet.’

‘it’s typical, I fear. folks just disappear.’ 

‘if I could leave, I would’ve already left.’ 

‘I pull no punches, then I feel bad for months.’ 

‘I finally got sewed up, set a time, then I showed up. now the weight of the world ain’t so bad.’ 

‘I saw the end, it looks just like the middle.’ 

‘I filled the hole in my head with prescription medications and I forgot how to cry.’ 

‘who am I to complain?’ 

‘now the pain’s different, it still exists, it just escapes different.’ 

‘I can finally eat and I can fall asleep, it’s fine.’

‘oh, you’re spiraling again.’ 

‘don’t let this darkness fool you. all lights turned off can be turned on.’ 

‘I’ll drive all night. I’ll call your mom.’ 

‘don’t be discouraged. I’ve been exactly where you are.’ 

‘if you could see yourself like this, you’d have never tried it.’ 

‘don’t want to drive another mile wondering if you’re breathing.’ 

‘won’t you stay with me?’ 

‘this is good land, or at least it was.’ 

‘it makes me smile to know when things get hard, you’ll be far from here.’ 

‘you’re the greatest thing I’ve lost.’ 

‘we ain’t angry at you, we’ll be waiting for you.’ 

we’ll all be here forever.’ 

‘we’re overdue for a revival. we spent so long just getting by.’ 

‘that’s the thing about survival. who the hell likes living just to die?’ 

‘you’re gonna go far.’ 

[lastsblue]

“and I’ll dream each night of some version of you

that I might not have but I did not lose”

— Stick Season, Noah Kahan