#“Well that's rather my point” said Jenny

[aquanafrahudy]

Jenny Everywhere and the Rather Annoyingly-Titled Sequel to "Jenny Everywhere and the Very Short Story"

"Now look here," said Jenny, "This is getting really rather ridiculous."

"Really?" said the narrator of the story, who happened to be me, "I find it quite amusing."

"It most certainly isn't!" cried Jenny, "There was I, all set to go out on my adventure, when suddenly the story ends! So I decide to go off on an extra-narrative adventure, and then another one starts! How on earth is an overly-metafictional incarnation of an ubiquitous open-source character supposed to get an adventure if there are stories starting and ending all over the place?"

"You might as well ask," the narrator (otherwise known as myself) remarked, "How one an overly-metafictional incarnation of an ubiquitous open-source character is supposed to get an adventure when she is sitting about arguing with a nebulous narrator who may or may not be being vaguely implied to be a narrator from one of the author's other works."

"Isn't this the author's debut?"

"Harrumph, well... In a manner of speaking."

"Right," said Jenny, "That's it! I'm going off on an adventure." but it turned out she couldn't as that was the end of the story.

The character of Jenny Everywhere is available for use by anyone, with only one condition: This paragraph must be included in any publication involving Jenny Everywhere, that others might use this property as they wish. All rights reversed.

[hollowdeath]

hii! I love love loveee ur harry fic. can I request a modern au where harry and fem reader are both famous actors, they get paired up to do a movie where they have to do a s3x scene, and things get pretty heated off set as well ~

hi! thank you so much for requesting, i really enjoyed writing this! i hope you like it!

pairing: harry james potter x fem!reader AU (18+)

summary: you're filming your first romance movie that features a sex scene with harry potter (early 20's), an actor you've only ever seen on the big screen. despite both of your nerves, a growing chemistry between you two leads to something more in the dressing room.

content warning: smut!!! dry humping, oral sex, penetration

word count: 8.7k (i can't write short blurbs i swear lol)

you were currently sitting in the hair and makeup chair chatting with the stylist about each other's respective careers, laughing and messing around before your official call time. you always went out of your way to talk to the crew on any set you worked, not just to be respectful, but also to make everyone comfortable around you right away.

it was a little hard to grasp from your perspective as you were only thrust into the spotlight a few years ago, but you were in enough successful movies that you were now pretty recognizable to most people. not that long ago you were just like everyone else, a fan of celebrities yourself who went to premiers and fawned over meeting them. today, those same people are technically your coworkers. it's something you're still learning to accept as your new normal.

that being the case, it was easy for people to feel a bit intimidated by you. you were well-liked, by both fans and people in the industry, and already highly-acclaimed with quite a few notable awards/nominations under your belt in just a couple years. and while you took your acting seriously, in your real life you were very different from the stoic characters you played. funny, warm, personable, always trying to lighten the mood - you were a pleasure to work with in every sense, so the intimidating preconception people had of you would quickly melt away.

"wow, jen, it must be so cool being able to work with so many celebrities all around the world," you sighed. the stylist, jenny, gives you a bewildered look in the reflection of the mirror. "well, you do that too y'know? you're one of those celebrities that people will ask me, 'oh my god, what's she like?'" she laughs at you, finishing up the final details of your hair.

you give her a half smile, feeling a blush rise on your cheeks. "okay, well, i guess…but it's not the same. i'd love to travel as much as you do. i know it's for work, but i'm sure you get to see some pretty incredible places," you gush. jenny smiles back at you.

"i do, it's nice and all, but you get to be on the big screen with some pretty handsome faces," she teases. "i mean, that movie with timothee you just did?" she practically moans. "i would do anything for that boy," she laughs.

your blush only worsens. being a young woman in the industry you're very often paired with actors around your age, almost always men, to have a romance plot line with. it seems like no matter how artistic, action-packed, or sad the movie is, they just can't let you leave without having you makeout with said actor at least a million times before getting 1 good take. after a while it becomes so routine that it loses all novelty. kissing becomes meaningless and these 'heartthrobs' just become coworkers to you.

"please, timothee's like my brother at this point," you roll your eyes, pulling out your phone to check the time. just a few more minutes before you have to leave and be on set. "and i'd much rather do his makeup than makeout with him in front of everyone again," you laugh, putting your phone back in your pocket.

"well, y'know, i was doing the potter boy's makeup just before i came in. wouldn't mind making out with him a few times, lucky duck," she teases you, starting to pack up her equipment.

harry potter. the name was familiar to you. he was an actor around your age who started getting more roles at the same time you did. you always seemed to miss each other at award shows and premiers, so you haven't been properly introduced yet, but you had been somewhat excited to work with him on this movie.

it was your first proper romance, a book adaptation that you had actually read just a few years prior on your own. you knew the director well and you were his first choice when casting the lead role. at first you were a bit hesitant to accept because you didn't even enjoy the little romance you did in your previous movies, so you weren't sure how you'd feel doing an entire film centered on it. but robert, the director, had convinced you to at least read the script, and you were hooked from there.

it was less of a romance and more of a drama, focused on the downfall of a marriage due to the wife, you, having an affair. that's where potter came in. you learned he was cast for the role of the 'side piece' only a month or so before filming began, and you weren't sure how to feel. on one hand, like jenny said, he wasn't bad looking from what you had seen in his films. however, when you previously did these types of scenes with costars, you at least knew them previously and could be friendly with them between takes. you had never met potter, not even seen him off-screen, and now you have to have an entire affair with him on camera.

that's another thing. you've only ever done heated kissing scenes before, maybe a little undressing and implied nudity, but nothing too explicit. this would be your first real 'sex scene', which just added another layer of awkwardness to the situation on top of not even knowing the basics about each other. to say you were anxious about filming those scenes would be an understatement.

"then you can take my place, cuz i'm not looking forward to it. you know i've never even met him before?" you ask as you stand up from the chair, stretching your body after sitting for over 2 hours. "just gonna introduce myself like, 'yeah, hi, i'm [y/n], nice to meet you. you ready to pretend to fuck passionately for the next 4 hours in front of the catering staff?'" you joke, putting on a voice and pretending to shake jenny's hand. she laughs at you, pulling her hand back and waving you away.

"oh hush, you're gonna do just fine. hell, you might even like it." she gives you a smirk as you just laugh her off. you exchange goodbyes with her, wishing her well and thanking her excessively for her time.

as you're walking through a maze of hallways to find your set, you run into robert. he looks like he's seen a ghost when you greeted him.

"oh…[y/n]...i've been meaning to talk to you…" he says nervously, trying to keep his tone positive. you narrow your eyes at him. you've worked with robert long enough to know when he's about to tell you something he knows will annoy you.

"robert…" you warn him, a hint of sarcasm in your voice. he sighs. "look, just walk with me." he tells you as he walks away, motioning you to follow.

as you catch up to him, he begins trying to find the best way to break the news to you. "see, well…we uh…we think it's best if, uh…maybe…" he stammers, causing you to look at him with concern. you've never seen him this nervous to tell you something. "what? just spit it out, rob." you tell him.

he sighs again, rubbing his forehead. "look, casting just isn't sure on this potter kid yet. we've shot a couple of his solo scenes already, but…" he trails off, trying to find the words again.

"but…?" you ask confused. he gives you an apologetic look. "but…we just need to see his chemistry with you first." robert says. you're just more confused, staring at him blankly. robert slows to a stop and turns to you, his hands raised in innocence.

"it's not my idea, but cast wants you and potter to shoot the sex scene today so they can decide if we're keeping him or not," he admits regretfully.

you're completely dumbfounded. there's a few moments of silence before you can even conjure up a response. "what?"

he sighs yet again, clearly stressed about the situation. "i know, trust me, i know, you weren't excited to do this scene to begin with but…think about it this way," his voice turns to the same fake positivity to try and reassure you.

"if we shoot all the lovey dovey stuff first just to find out there's no chemistry during the sex scene, then we just wasted all your time, all his time, and a lot of money…" he reasons with a strained voice. you're still giving him a death glare, arms crossed, not buying his excuses.

"robert, that doesn't even make any sense. wouldn't we build chemistry over time like any other movie? i thought i had at least a couple weeks to get to know this kid before… you know…" you trail off, blushing from both frustration and embarrassment.

"i know, i know, but cast is really pushing for this other guy, but i've wanted potter in this role as long as i've wanted you as my lead." he says desperately, his hands literally pleading with you. "please, [y/n], i know this isn't cool of me, but i'll do anything you need from me for the rest of filming. for the rest of my life!" he's joking, but there's a hint of seriousness in his voice. "just, please?"

you're still glaring at him, not happy that you're being put in this predicament. you take a second to breathe, trying to think past your anger, and see this from an outside perspective. realistically, even if you and potter did have chemistry outside of the sex scene, it didn't necessarily mean it would transfer over. by filming that first and getting it out of the way, there would be no awkward building of tension over the next few weeks knowing what's to come. and who's to say there even is any chemistry? then they'd end up having to switch him out for an entirely different actor, which could up a lot of time for paperwork and legal fees…

sighing, uncrossing your arms, you give robert a look of defeat. "fine."

robert's relieved, thanking you profusely as he continues to show you the way to the stage. he's trying to babble on about how you're going to do great, and there's nothing to be afraid of, but you can't focus on his words even a little bit because your heart is thumping so loud.

as you walk into the bustling room with robert leading the way, you can't help but search the room for potter's face. you want to at least see who you're going to be dry humping from 4 different angles.

recognizing different crew members you've worked with before, you smile and say hello to each of them as you continue analyzing each face in the room. you only kind of know what he looks like, so it might be a fruitless search, but it's the only thing that can distract you from your growing anxiety.

robert brings you to the catering table, telling you to make sure you eat and drink some water before being pulled into conversation with someone else and, eventually, leaving you behind completely. whatever, you think, he wasn't helping anyway.

grabbing for a water bottle, you drink at least half of it before feeling a tap on your shoulder. you're twisting the cap back on as you turn around.

harry potter.

you can instantly tell it's him, though he's now wearing glasses, something you don't remember seeing in his movies. he has a shy, nervous smile as he offers you his hand. "[y/f/n] [y/l/n], right? i'm harry potter," he introduces himself. "i guess we'll be filming together for the day."

you smile and shake his hand. "harry, hi, it's nice to meet you. and, yeah, i guess so…" you reply shyly, noticing that your hands are sweating, as well as his. he chuckles just a bit, reaching for a water bottle as well.

"yeah, i take it robert talked to you already?" he asks before he takes a drink. you nod, giving him an awkward smile. "he did…" you chuckle as well. "just a minute ago, actually."

harry nods in return. "yeah, he came by my room not even an hour ago to let me know." he states.

there's a few moments of awkward silence between the two of you before harry sighs and sets his water bottle down. he turns to you with his hands up just like robert.

"look, let's not be coy, yeah? this is weird as hell." harry states bluntly, a look of guilt on his face.

you let out a surprised laugh, setting your water bottle down as well. you turn to him, giving him your attention, curious to see what else he has to say.

harry briefly looks you up and down, his hands still raised. there's a hint of anxiety in his eyes before he blinks and shakes his head. "and, i'm just a big fan of yours in general, and this is really not how i wanted my first sex scene to play out, especially with you…" he emphasizes, his eyes widening at his own words.

"not that i didn't want it to happen at all, i definitely did, just, like…" he groans, throwing his head back and covering his face with his hands in frustration. you can't help but giggle at his nervous antics. you didn't know what to expect in terms of his personality, but you certainly didn't think he'd be so humble and shy. most actors you meet close to your age are either full of themselves or try too hard to be something they're not. you've made friends with plenty who aren't like that, but it's definitely more common than you expected.

with harry, however, he seemed very honest right away. he wasn't putting on a face to impress you, if anything he was failing miserably at that…but you found it really admirable. he reminded you of yourself, in a way.

after hearing you giggle at him, harry looks back at you with flushed cheeks. his brunette hair, an already messy fringe, was now even more disheveled. you continue to giggle at his expression, covering your smile as you look him up and down as well. tired converse, blue jeans, a maroon zip up, and a plain blue polo. you'd never think this kid was a famous actor based on his appearance. even his glasses looked old and bent out of shape.

but again, you found it admirable. no designer names, no flashy accessories. not that you found anything wrong with either of those things, it's just what you're used to seeing. it was refreshing, harry's simplicity.

he awkwardly chuckles with you, wringing his hands together nervously. "uh, what i'm meaning to say is…" he trails off. you interrupt his thoughts. "i know what you're saying," you reassure him. he looks back up at you. "you do?"

you laugh again. he's oddly innocent despite his age. "i do. i've never done this before, either." you admit. "oh, i know, i've seen all of your films plenty of times," harry beams, his nervousness melting away a bit. you're taken aback by his statement. "oh?" you respond.

he nods proudly. "oh yeah, i'm just a big film person in general so i'm constantly watching them at home. or on the plane. or in the dressing rooms…" he laughs. you smile warmly at him. again, something about him is so genuine to you. not afraid to be a fan.

"but, anyways, yeah, i just love your work. and i know you've worked with robert before, so i was over the moon when i heard he wanted me to work with you guys. that was one of my favorite films that year, y'know? definitely deserved more recognition than it got." harry rambles. 

blushing, you give him an incredulous look. "yeah, we have worked together before. i-i loved that film." you're clearly impressed with his knowledge of you and of cinema in general. that film wasn't even all that popular, and definitely not your most well-received work as far as the critics went. "thank you. really."

harry's smiling at you, admiring you in a way.

you blink a few times to come back to reality. "u-um, i love your work, too. i actually just went and saw your most recent one twice, before robert even told me we'd be working together." 

harry's shocked, his mouth slightly agape and eyes wide. "you…you've seen my movies?" he asks with a slight smile.

again, you can't help but giggle at him. his humility just keeps surprising you. "of course i have. you're not the only actor who enjoys films, y'know?" you tease him. he laughs, shaking his head.

"yeah, i'm…i'm just surprised, i figured you might not be familiar with me at all, really," he shrugs, still sounding in shock.

"well, we always miss each other at shows and such, i always meant to introduce myself, but…" you trail off. "i know! tell me about it! i've wanted to meet you for ages, seriously," harry gushes. 

smirking, you cross your arms and shift your weight. "well, what do you think now that we've met?" you ask, mostly sarcastically but also curious about his response.

he clears his throat, the nervousness coming back slightly. "u-uh, well, um…" he stumbles. "quite honestly, i didn't think you could be more beautiful in person." he admits like a schoolboy with a crush.

his response gives you butterflies. he's so adorably innocent, but such a gentleman at the same time. at no point does his admiration for you feel manufactured or forced. it's like he's truly just happy to be with you in this moment.

"well…thank you, harry," you respond. "you're not so bad yourself. i really adore the glasses." you admit with a blushing smile.

harry perks up immediately. "really?" he asks, excited and shocked at the same time. "they're prescription, actually, i'm blind as a bat…but no director wants me to wear them, they say i look like a total nerd," harry laughs, but you can tell it saddens him.

"nerds are hot." you shrug. harry's stunned for a moment before chuckling, his eyes softening for you. "right."

you and harry continue to chat for a while, losing all sense of time as the crew continue to work around you. you're mostly discussing films you both enjoy, and have incredibly similar taste. you love all the same directors, and grew up watching the same stuff.

this eventually leads to talking about both of your starts in acting, which are also strikingly similar. you discuss your experience so far as a woman in hollywood and he listens intently, asking questions with genuine curiosity and concern. he tells you about his experiences with theater growing up and the connections he made throughout his time performing.

you're completely enthralled with the conversation and feel like it could go on for days without any complaint. it's not until you hear robert calling both of your names that you look at the time and realize you've been talking with harry for nearly an hour and a half, but it feels like you just started 10 minutes ago.

harry follows you towards robert who's talking to the wardrobe team. you recognize a few faces and excitedly greet them, asking how everyone's been.

"potter, [y/n], these lovely folks are gonna walk you through how this works as far as clothing, don't be afraid to ask questions," robert told you both distractedly, his head already turned away before he ran off to help someone else out on set.

you and harry are separated and put into your respective outfits for your characters, as well as specific underwear for the scene. looking in the mirror at yourself in a simple dress, you can't help but feel the nerves coming back to you as you realize you actually have to film this scene with harry soon.

harry…

when you come back, he's already in his outfit and waiting for you. he's in an earth tone suit, his glasses taken off and his tie slightly undone. you have to admit that he looks extremely handsome, and decide to tell him so with a smirk. "says the most gorgeous girl in the room," he instantly quips, but you can see the blush blooming over his cheeks.

the wardrobe team basically teaches you both how to take off your clothes in a "movie style" that looks best on screen. specific movements can obstruct certain body parts from the camera, some take less time than others depending on what you're wearing, just little things that keep you from having to constantly reshoot the scene.

after a few tries of swiftly removing your dress, and taking glances at harry as he took his button-up off, you start to get the idea and have the motion memorized. you're laughing with one of the assistants you've met previously about the task and catching up with her in general. harry comes up behind you and also recognizes her, giving her a friendly hug. you're impressed with how personable he is with her, asking about her schooling and her roommates, parts of her life you hadn't even known about. you couldn't help but be in awe of him. he really was like you in so many ways.

before you get too comfortable, the wardrobe team informs you and harry that you have to also practice taking each other's clothes off for the camera. obviously, you thought, but you were still a bit shocked at the news.

you turned to harry, who's already waiting for you with that familiar smile. you smile back nervously. "hey, it's alright. it's just me." harry reassures you. the tone of his voice is so comforting it actually helps settle your nerves a decent amount.

both of you basically learn what the other person learned, you taking off harry's suit jacket and tie as he lifts your dress in one swift motion. the first run through you're a bit nervous and end up giggling most of the time. harry also laughs with you, making the atmosphere less tense. 

"feels like a dance, oddly enough," harry says, pretending to dance with you. you laugh and agree, dancing along with him.

after a few more awkward tries, you both start to get the hang of it and feel more comfortable with each other both physically and emotionally. you're cracking jokes, helping teach the other how to unclothe themselves quicker, just having a good time that comes so naturally to both of you. it doesn't take too many tries before you can efficiently take off each other's clothes without giggling or accidentally tickling the other.

before long you're both placed on set, a mock living room that resembles the apartment of harry's character. you and harry are given a few simple, non-sexual scenes to start with. the scripts are kept close by in case either of you need a refresher, but you both seem to have your lines memorized well and go through the scenes very naturally.

you were familiar with harry's acting of course, but something about how he performed his lines with you struck a different chord. his emotions were so raw, his timing felt natural, and his eyes told a whole story on their own. at one point you got so lost in them you missed a beat, quickly correcting yourself and focusing your gaze elsewhere.

you only had to redo them one or two times before moving on to the next scenes, which included kissing. you could feel your heart start to race again before harry's hands found their way to your shoulders from behind, a soft but firm grasp that sent chills down your spine.

"remember, it's just me," harry mumbles to you, coming around the side of you with a reassuring expression. somehow he knows exactly how to ease your nerves, and does it at the perfect times.

you're moved from the couch to the 'front door' area, where robert has you and harry mimic the steps he wants you to take before the cameras start rolling. "[y/n] opens the door, harry grabs her hand and pulls her back in," he directs you two like puppets as he shows you how and where to stand. 

harry has you by the hand, your palms still sweaty as he squeezes your hand for reassurance. you smile at him, and he smiles down at you before quickly looking back at robert's actions.

"harry backs her up to the door, back, back, back 'til it closes," harry's pressed against you, chuckling under his breath as he looks down at you. you try to hold back a smile.

"kissing, kissing, blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda," robert calls out despondently, flipping a page in his notebook. "harry, you take her shoulders and push her against the east wall," robert points to the wall just next to the door, and harry lightly moves you to the other wall, keeping his body close to yours.

"really sweet, yeah, but make sure it's passionate!" robert says dramatically, making both you and harry laugh.

you're instructed on the best way to take each other's clothes off for the cameras, and practice only a bit before officially having to start to scene. in the lull between the cameras being placed properly and the lighting being set, you start to nervously crack your knuckles and try to steady your breathing.

harry appears in front of you. he lightly grabs your chin with his fingers and kisses you softly on the lips. you're a bit stunned at first but can feel butterflies erupting in your stomach. you look up at harry with wide eyes, and he's chuckling again. "sorry. just thought i'd get the first one off-camera."

your mind is jumbled and you're staring at harry with, undoubtedly, a ridiculous face. you can't even remember the last time a kiss made you feel this way, or if one has ever made you feel this way before.

you suppress another smile as robert calls for places. somehow you're now less nervous about making out with him, if anything…you're excited about it. that soft, gentle kiss he gave you left you wanting more. maybe he just knew kissing you before being filmed would make it feel more natural on camera.

the scene starts, harry pulls you through the doorway, and backs you up against it until the door clicks shut. you're looking up at harry with wanting eyes, exploring his face as the camera pans to your left. once it pauses, harry pulls you in for an eager kiss.

your hand goes to his jaw, keeping it out of the way of the camera's view. you realize after a second just how comfortable you are kissing harry. not only are you comfortable, you're actually getting into it. and so is harry.

as another camera pans towards the wall beside you, harry grips your shoulders firmly and pushes you against it, reconnecting your lips with a desperation that felt completely real to you. it only fired you up more, running your hands through harry's hair and arching your body closer to him as the kiss became hungrier.

"cut," robert calls out in a casual tone, causing harry to pause and take a step away from you. you look at him for only a second before you have to look away, crossing your arms, a blush completely taking over your face.

what the fuck was that?

you've made out with plenty of guys plenty of times, but not like that. not even off-screen have you been kissed so passionately. either harry was the best kisser in the world, or you were confusing your feelings with your character's.

"that was great, guys, no issues, just gotta readjust," robert informs you as he works with a camera guy to get the angle right. "harry, can you come in again?" he asks, motioning harry towards you.

harry steps closer to you, giving you a shy smile like he didn't just change your entire life with one kiss.

you smile back at him, still blushing, mind still spinning. he may be pretty cute with his glasses on, but at least without them you can get a better look at his pretty green eyes. you wondered for a split second if his glasses would get in the way of you making out with him, but you quickly dismiss the thought as he's your costar. one that you barely met 3 hours ago.

the camera gets adjusted, and you're directed to just continue to the undressing part of the scene. you look over at harry, getting closer to him as you mumble, "do you think it'll be difficult, kissing and undressing at the same time?"

harry gives you an unsure face, looking at his tie before loosening it a bit. "might be, i'll get it started for you," he says, unbuttoning the top couple button of his shirt as well. you smile at him a bit. "just take your time, i'll help you." he says. something about the way he looks at you lets you know he means it, and you believe him.

as the scene starts, harry pulls you in for another breath-taking kiss, and the butterflies erupt in your stomach yet again. you know something's not right about this. well, actually, everything couldn't feel more right with harry's lips pressed against yours, but that's the problem. you're way too into this for it to just be acting for a movie, and it seems like harry's just as into it, if not more.

you quickly start undressing him, pulling off his suit jacket as he helps you, repeating the steps you practiced together. except now you were trying to keep the kissing going smoothly.

your fingers began fumbling with harry's shirt buttons, getting it and his tie off just in time for him to pull the skirt of your dress above your head, resuming your kiss with an eagerness that surprised you.

"cut, nice, one more time, little bit quicker guys," robert calls out. you pull away from harry breathlessly before trying to put your dress back on. harry redresses as well, and a stylist comes from the side to fix the back of his hair. he thanks them by their name and with a smile.

you and harry resume the scene again, picking up the speed just a bit as you attempt to make out and undress at the same time. the quicker you both moved, the more intense the kiss became, as if neither of you wanted to stop for even a moment to breathe.

"cut, nice, thanks guys," robert calls out, walking away to the furthest camera man.

you and harry redress, making funny comments to each other about the scene as you do. you notice your lipstick is on harry's lips, and you giggle as you tell him he should maybe wipe it off. "maybe i like this shade on me," he says sassily. you just roll your eyes and laugh at him.

as you chat a bit more, robert eventually comes up to you guys with a script in hand. "okay guys, we're gonna do this quick and try to get it in one take if we can. we wanna eliminate all the awkward for everyone, including the camera guy," he jokes, waving towards the camera man who laughs at him.

you and harry chuckle dryly, knowing what's coming next. 

a few crew people leave the room, whether robert told them to or they chose to you're not sure. it's down to just a few more people than you and harry, along with a camera. you look at each other, harry giving you a big smile before he starts undressing.

you follow suit, listening to robert's instructions. "the scene's barely 10 seconds of screen time, so we're only gonna do about 30 seconds of filming. yeah?" you both nod, setting your respective clothes to the side. you're quite a bit relieved at this news, glad that everyone else wants to get this over with as much as you do.

you're both wearing nude colored underwear, harry's briefs and your panties and strapless bra matching your skin tones enough that it could pass for nudity in the dim lighting. you feel a bit exposed, but not to the point of embarrassment, especially having harry next to you in just as little clothing as you.

"alright, now, i don't care if you're both virgins or whores, we all know what sex looks like, so i'm not gonna get too graphic here," robert jokes to lighten to mood, making you and harry laugh to yourselves as you give each other embarrassed looks.

"all i'm gonna do is tell you where to be and you guys just feel it out from there. sound good?" robert asks. "yeah," you both say at the same time. "but remember, you're a cheating bride, so put some oomph into it," robert jokes with you, walking towards the couch. you feel your cheeks heat up as harry tries not to laugh.

robert has you on the couch, laying with your head hanging off the arm as harry steadies himself above you. his arm has to be in a certain position to keep you covered for the camera, and as he repositions himself to their liking, you admire his body from your view. his chest is well built, his shoulders and collarbones creating shadows across his lovely pale skin…

you had to stop. this is just a job. he's an actor, you're an actor, you're acting together, nothing more. just be professional.

just before the camera's start rolling, harry looks down at you and gives you that same reassuring smile that makes your heart skip a beat every time. fuck. stop doing that.

"it's just me. okay? just you and me." his voice is so deep and he's so close to you, and the lighting behind him is making him glow. this moment could be a movie on its own.

"yeah," you breathe out, mesmerized by his words. just you and me. you could do that.

when the camera starts rolling, harry's hips start grinding into you slowly, his lips immediately connecting with yours. you involuntarily melt into him, your hands reaching for his shoulders as his leg starts rubbing against your panties. you let out a moan against harry's lips, and your grip on him gets tighter.

his hips become more and more rough with you, using your thigh to rub against rather than your panties themselves. it doesn't matter. you're still insanely turned on. and not just as your cheating character, but in real life, as yourself. 

as you throw your head back in pleasure, harry takes advantage and digs his head into your neck. he's softly biting at your skin as he brings a hand to one side of your face, keeping his other arm stable for the camera.

he brings you back in for a kiss, and your hands are back in his messy brunette locks. this time he moans, and his rocking hips begin to pick up speed, grinding with more force into you.

your face twists in pleasure, partially for the camera but mostly for harry. you can't believe how natural this feels for you. it's like it really is just the two of you, no camera, no pressure, just pleasure.

as robert cuts the scene, there's a tone to his voice that was different compared to his normally distracted, stressed voice. harry slowly backs up from you, an indistinguishable look on his face as he gives you space to sit up.

you sit up, and quickly walk over to grab your dress. you don't feel uncomfortable, you're just afraid that you got wet enough to soak through your panties and really don't want anyone to notice.

as you slip the dress over your head, you notice harry putting on his pants. you can't tell if you just saw him from a weird angle or if you looked too quick and were mistaken, but you could've sworn he had an erection he was stuffing in his trousers.

well, even if he did, that's normal, right? you're both young people practically dry humping each other and pretending to enjoy it, of course your bodies are going to think it's real and end up actually enjoying it…right?

that's what you tell yourself as you try your best to seem normal, fixing your hair and steadying your breathing as robert makes his way over to you.

"that was, uh…that was great. i don't think we'll have any problem keeping potter, yeah?"

with a heavy hand on your shoulder and a knowing smile, robert calls it a day for the rest of the crew still on set and says his goodbyes.

you're a bit confused by his statement, but try not to think about it too much. you turn to look at harry, but he's already gone.

you're a bit surprised. you thought for sure harry would want to maybe chat a bit after all that, but you tried not to be disappointed as you turned around and headed towards the wardrobe department to retrieve your real clothes.

after getting dressed and setting wardrobe's outfit back in their closet, you make your way out towards the hallways. your mind is still racing, but you're trying not to think too much about what just happened so you don't lose your mind.

on your way to your dressing room, you kept feeling like someone was watching you. the feeling made you walk a bit faster as you tried to remember which hallway was yours.

once finding the door, you quickly let yourself in until a hand stops the door. as you peak through the crack, you see a tie hanging over a messily buttoned-up shirt, and instantly recognized it was harry.

you open the door a bit more excited than you expected yourself to, and are completely in awe of the man in front of you. messy hair, his glasses back on, still wearing the wardrobe outfit without the suit jacket.

"harry," you greet him, smiling like an idiot. he smiles back. "[y/n], hey, um…" he takes a breath, seeming a bit nervous. "sorry i just dashed, i hate those contacts and had to put these back on," he jiggles the frames of his glasses from the the side, making you giggle. "well, i guess i can forgive you. only because i'm pro-glasses," you say with a smirk.

harry seems so nervous, he's constantly shifting his weight and his smile isn't reaching his eyes.

"well, um, i just wanted to say, y'know, thank you for trusting me today…i know it wasn't easy but you did really, really well," his smile is so sweet, and his eyes are incredibly kind. you swear he's trying to get you to swoon.

"thank you, harry, but you made it incredibly easy to trust you…" you say with a small smile. "and it went a lot better than i was expecting." you say with a laugh.

harry cracks a smile. "yeah, same here. i actually wouldn't have minded it at all minus the cameras and audience." harry tries to joke with you, but his nerves are still overpowering his voice. is he joking, or does he feel the same way you felt shooting that scene?

smirking, you lean on the doorway of your dressing room. "i don't know, part of me thinks the audience part is kinda hot…mostly terrifying and vomit-inducing, but…" you joke back with him. he tries to laugh with you but he looks a little shocked by your statement.

"but, i agree. i didn't mind it at all." you say with a tone of seduction. you try to analyze harry to understand how he's feeling, what he's thinking, and why he's so nervous to be talking to you after everything you just did. yeah, maybe you shouldn't be playfully flirting with a coworker, but he started it…

there's a few moments of silence between you exchanging nervous glances with each other. you somewhat enjoy watching harry squirm like this under your gaze, after being so calm and collected on set it's pretty funny to see him fall apart with just you and him.

"uh, look…" harry finally breaks the silence, looking at the ground before making resistant eye contact. "[y/n], i know i said i was a big fan, um…" he's sweating, and he can't stop shifting his weight.

"but, i was just wondering, since, y'know, now we work together for a bit, maybe, um…"

god. he's so cute. is he really nervous to ask you to hang out after having practically having sex on camera? you can't take it anymore. you don't care if you're working together, you need him.

you grab harry and pull him into your dressing room, closing the door and locking it before turning to him and practically forcing him into a kiss.

harry's a bit stunned, quite a bit, but he quickly begins kissing back. the performance kiss was nothing compared to this. he's somehow an even better kisser when it's just the two of you. 

this time, you're pushing harry into the wall next to the door. you smile up at him between making out. "this feels familiar." you say with a smirk. harry nervously lets out a laugh before immediately pulling you back in for the kiss.

the tension that's been built between you guys for the last 3 hours is finally being released, your hands exploring as you slowly take off the other's clothes. unlike the acting you were just doing, you're both gentle with each other and take your time to carefully take the other's clothes off. you're admiring harry's body as his shirt comes off, throwing it to the side. you're mesmerized by his neck and shoulders.

harry takes a moment to admire you, his hand on your cheek as he moves a strand of hair out of your face. your heart couldn't have been beating louder. something about these small, intimate moments with him between the heavy kissing and touching actually makes you more nervous. it was one thing to just be physically attracted to him, but the soft kiss he gave you during the break between filming and now this gentle moment between making out had your mind racing with questions but wanting nothing more than to just keep going.

"harry…" you sigh, examining his face while he looks down at you. "[y/n]...this is like a dream come true…" he whispers softly. the genuine look in his eye has your stomach twisting knots. "i never thought an on-screen kiss could feel like that…" you respond just as quietly.

his smile's real this time, no nerves, no looking away, just admiring you with the most loving smile. "don't tell robert, but, um, i wasn't acting out there. that was harry kissing [y/n]," harry tells you with a chuckle. you feel yourself smiling like an idiot and suppress your laugh. "yeah, i could tell," you say with a smirk.

harry pulls you in to kiss again, and your hands go to his chest. standing on your toes, you push your body further into his, moaning into harry's mouth as his hands find their way to your waist and hold onto you firmly.

"fuck," he practically whimpers, his hands sliding down your hips and eventually to your ass. he squeezes it roughly and causes you to gasp. "i want you." he states simply, staring you in the eyes again. "i don't care if we get in trouble, i'll take the fall. i just, fuck, i need you [y/n], please…" harry breathlessly begs you, his hands making the way under your shirt and up your back.

"we're just working on our chemistry," you respond, helping him pull off your shirt. he groans at your mutual eagerness and his lips attach to your neck and chest, leaving plenty of bite marks as you tangle your hands in harry's fringe again.

letting moans slip out of your mouth without a second thought, your body is responding to harry like it never has with anyone before. everything you've done with someone before him has felt so mild and mechanical, but harry was so naturally passionate with you. you're not sure if it's because he's always been attracted to you or if you just really, really find yourself attracted to him…

eventually harry's lips find your own again, and his hands begin to explore. he runs his fingers over your bra straps as he traces your back, sending shivers all over your skin. smiling into the kiss, he's loving the effect he has on you. harry slowly unclasped your bra and you let it fall to the floor, his hands already replacing it as he massages your tits.

your hands make their way down to his pants, pulling at the waistband only slightly before harry immediately unbuttons them for you, helping you push them before he separates the kiss and kicks off his pants entirely. you steal a glance down and see his erection. "i've had this since that first kiss, need you so bad" harry's voice rumbles.

you take your pants off as well, with harry's assistance, and he pulls at the waistband of your panties. "fuck, everything about you is so beautiful," harry admits before attaching his lips to yours sloppily. the kissing becomes needy, messy, and secondary to you groping each other roughly.

harry spins you around so you're now against the wall as he begins kissing down your body. the cold wall makes your skin shiver again, the visual of harry slowly getting to his knees in front of you making your mind spin.

he looks up at you for just a second above his glasses and your heart can barely take it, how can someone be so adorable yet so incredibly sexy and seductive at the same time?

eventually harry's mouth finds its way to your panties, softly kissing your pussy through them as you squirm under his touch. quiet whimpering and frustrated hip thrusts let harry know you need more, and he slowly pulls the fabric to the side.

you're in a complete state of ecstasy watching harry eat you out from above. his eyes are softly closed as he gets lost in licking and sucking on your clit. his hands go to your legs as he lifts one of your thighs over his shoulder, getting a better angle.

you're full on moaning now, not afraid to let harry know just how good he's making you feel. you can't remember a time where someone was this eager to eat your pussy, solely giving you pleasure. you can feel yourself getting wetter against harry's lips and blush at just how desperately your body's craving him.

"harry, fuck," you whimper, your hands returning to his hair as you begin to slowly grind down onto his face. harry is completely accepting of this, moaning as you stuff his face further into you. his moans send shockwaves through your body, gasping as you feel the tension building in your body.

harry looks up at you, his eyes full of lust and barely open as he continues to make out with your pussy. you can hardly stand the erotic sight before you as he watches your body react so well to him.

"fuck, harry, keep looking at me like that and i'm gonna cum," you teasingly scold him. you can see the smile in his eyes as he backs away, his chin and lips soaking wet. your body goes cold, missing his touch, and your climax fades away.

he quickly wipes his face with his hand before standing up and going back in to kiss you. you moan as the taste and smell of you is all over him. his hands go to your weakening legs and he lifts you up without breaking a sweat. you gasp and look down, seeing he already took off his boxers as he holds you against the wall. you look back in his eyes and they're so much darker than you remember, the bright green now a haunting emerald as he searches yours.

"i need you," he growls, the complete opposite of his usually gentle nature. you can't hold back your moan, something about his desperation makes you crave him so badly. you've never felt so wanted or loved by a partner.

"need you," is all you can say before you kiss him again, tongues instantly entangled. he takes this chance to use one hand to stroke himself, your legs wrapped around his body as he continues to hold you against the wall. 

as harry's slowly pushing into you, your body envelopes him and embraces the pleasure. he's slowly thrusting up into you, his eyes completely fixated on your face as you fall into bliss. you can't get the words out, but harry feels so perfect inside of you. it's everything you've been wanting since he gave you that loving kiss on set.

harry's pace stays slow and torturous until he begins groaning and thrusting more desperately. "holy fuck, [y/n], you feel so fucking good," harry's head falls into your chest, his heavy breaths hitting your skin. the only sound you can make are your pathetic whimpers, your head thrown back against the wall.

harry starts sweating as he holds you against the wall, his legs getting weaker along with his arms. despite that, his thrusts become quicker and more hungry as his hand finds its way to your pussy. your whimpers turn into moans as harry brings you closer to your orgasm. his head lifts to look at you as you reconnect your lips, forcing your tongue in his mouth.

you can feel that knot in your stomach tightening, your hands finding harry's shoulders for something to hold onto. his exasperated breaths and gasps against your lips only turn you on even more. even at his weakest moment he's doing everything possible to make sure your pleasure and comfort comes first. 

"harry, harry, i'm gonna cum," you say between kissing, your arms wrapping around his neck. "please, baby, please," harry groans eagerly, pushing your body further into the wall and thrusting even deeper into you. you can barely wait a moment before letting yourself go, burying your head into harry's neck as you call his name. harry's breathing is completely ragged as you squeeze around his cock, loving the way your body feels against his as you begin shaking.

it's not long into your climax that harry slows down, his hips stuttering before pulling out at the last second and letting his cum drip to the floor, his head falling into your shoulder as well.

you let yourself down from harry's grasp, your legs barely able to keep you up. harry steadies you, chuckling, his reassuring hands on your arms. "okay?" he asks breathlessly. you look up at him, his face is completely drenched and flushed as he stares at you lovingly. "yeah, fine," you say with a smile, using the wall to balance yourself.

you and harry stare at each other for a bit before going in to kiss each other again. it feels so natural, like you've been kissing him your whole life. the butterflies come rushing back. even after having sex with harry you still feel so attracted to him in a nervous, crush-like way.

after getting dressed harry offers his phone to you, asking for your number. you set your contact's name to your character's in the movie, and it leaves harry blushing. he's smiling at you for just a moment before he envelopes you in a hug. warm, comforting, and completely safe, you lean into his touch and don't want to let go.

with some flirtatious remarks and a promise to meet up tomorrow for a date, harry's leaving your dressing room in a barely buttoned up shirt and messy hair. you watch him disappear down the hall before closing your door, hardly able to believe you're already so smitten with the costar you only met earlier that day.

[lanawinterscigarettes]

Headcanons for Jennifer Check with an autistic S/O?

I love this idea so much- I took inspiration from some of my own experiences so this might not apply to everyone but I certainly did my best! I really hope you like it <3

Jennifer Check with an autistic s/o

Warnings: brief mention of meltdowns/sensory overloads, references to ableism/ignorant people, very brief (somewhat) joking mention of committing murder (it's Jenny, what do you expect), very salty and blunt language that I'm honestly not even sorry for

I honestly think Jennifer would appreciate dating an autistic person, especially if you're the type who's very straight forward or overly blunt about things

She probably thought you were a bit of a bitch at first I'm not gonna lie lol, but she makes that assumption about pretty much everyone when she first meets them

You'd seen each other around school before but your first real conversation was when you were paired up for some sort of science project. She was not looking or feeling like her typical hot and fabulous self, and while you weren't the first to notice you were the only one brave enough to point it out

"Have you been getting enough sleep recently? You have really heavy bags under your eyes"

Jennifer wanted to snap at you at first, thinking you were being sarcastic (because obviously she had bags under her eyes, she didn't need anyone pointing it out) but much to her surprise you didn't look like you were making fun of her. In fact, you seemed a little concerned

"Your hair looks pretty damaged." You continued, oblivious to the look of utter shock on her face that you would actually say something like that out loud. "If using both shampoo and conditioner is too much of a trouble I can recommend some two-in-one products. Or you can always use dry shampoo in between washes"

The woman was too stunned to speak. All she was able to do was mutter an awkward "thank you", something that you simply nodded your head at before turning the conversation back over to the project

She gained a lot of respect for you that day, as you were the only person who wasn't afraid to say what everyone was thinking (though she soon learned this was due to you not knowing what was and wasn't considered 'appropriate' to say)

Out of everyone, you're the one person Jennifer goes to (other than maybe Needy) when she needs an honest opinion on something because you won't lie to spare her feelings or try to flatter her

"Which tank top do you think I should wear to school tomorrow, the pink one or the black one?"

"Well, the pink one makes you look like slut. But the black one makes you look like both a slut and a bitch, too"

"Perfect. Black it is, then"

If you ever accidentally make a situation awkward or uncomfortable by your comments or questions you won't even have to worry about being embarrassed because she'll immediately come out with saying something so bitchy and/or vulgar that whatever you said looks innocent in comparison and is forgotten about right away

She'll get very protective if people try to purposely make you feel bad for the out of pocket things you say. After all, you're just telling people the truth, it's not their fault if they can't handle a dose of reality (her words, not mine)

Even though she loves to party she'll most likely either tone it down or just stop going altogether when she finds out you don't like them all that much because of the loud music, bright lights, small spaces crowded with lots of drunk people, etc. She'd rather be with you any way

Always lets you infodump to her about your newest interest or favorite thing, which truly shows just how much she loves you as she usually always has to be the one dominating any conversation she's a part of. Sometimes you wonder if she ever really listens until she gets you something relating to your latest hyperfixation and then you're like "ah okay so she does care :D"

Honestly she's such a trashy mcbling y2k girly (canon, she told me herself) that I feel like she's the type of person to buy you stim/fidget toys and then help you 'bling' them out by gluing on fake rhinestones and such because "you can't just walk around with boring accessories"

Is she the type of person to tease you/make a bunch of sex jokes if you have an oral fixation? Yes. Will she start carrying around lollipops, gum, chew rings, etc. in her purse to give to you when you're feeling distressed in a public place? Also yes

Totally understands if you don't like/can't eat certain foods due to pickiness, especially if this is after her demon possession. She goes out of her way to make sure the pantry is stocked with your safe foods and all your favorite snacks for whenever you come over so you won't run out of them

She may not be the best at comforting you if you're in the middle of a meltdown/sensory overload or if you start crying (especially if it's over something small) but she tries her best to be gentle, not wanting to accidentally make things worse. If you need physical comfort then she'll gladly let you wrap your arms around her and get as close as possible, but if not then she'll stay a safe distance away while trying to cheer you up with words of encouragement

Absolutely hates ableist people. Hates and will eat them /hj. She can't stand when people make you feel bad for not understanding certain phrases or not being able to pick up on social cues

If you're ever confused on something then she takes the time to explain it to you, and yes this includes her sarcasm. She can't stop being sarcastic for anyone, including you (sorry) but she can make accomadations so you don't feel stupid or left out

Jennifer finds your stimming so adorable, especially if you do it when you're excited to see her. The fact that you get so happy you have to make a physical show of it just to get the extra energy out warms her cold, otherwise unfeeling and bitchy heart

If you're a really physically affectionate person then she one hundred percent welcomes it and allows you to touch her at literally any given moment no matter where you are. If not, then that's all the more reason for her to feel special and loved if you ever do give her, say, a hug, especially if you have an aversion to touch

Speaking of which, if there are any clothes of hers that you don't like because the texture of it bothers you/makes your skin crawl then she simply won't wear them around you, and might even get rid of them so you can feel more comfortable touching her. This includes making sure her bed always has the coziest pillows and blankets and comfiest sheets for whenever you spend the night

Overall I think Jen would love you no matter what personality quirks you may have regarding being autistic, and she would never fail to tell you just how much she loves you for them

Main masterlist | Jennifer's Body masterlist | wanna be added to my taglist?

Likes < reblogs | comments are greatly appreciated <3

🏷 taglist: @anxiously-sad @iloveentrapta @ghot-girl @taecube @corn3liiia @gilmore-angel @your-next-daydream @alexxavicry @noisy-dumb-piece-of-shit @lovelyy-moonlight @red1culous (if you were crossed out it means I couldn't tag you for some reason)

[waynes-multiverse]

Polaris – Chapter 2

Series Summary: When Beau Arlen moved to Montana, he left behind a past he wasn’t proud of. But when a series of murders requires the FBI’s help, Sheriff Arlen‘s ghosts come back to haunt him one by one. With a wrong turn waiting at every crossroads, it’s hard to make the right choices and find his way back home – back to you.

Pairing: Beau Arlen x FBI Agent!Reader

Warnings: 18+, flashbacks to past relationships, awkwardness, mentions of cheating

Word Count: 6.1k

A/N: Jenny and Cassie should come with their own warning 😂 Probably the lightest chapter of this series. Just some getting-to-know fun (& tons of awkwardness on all sides). Enjoy the peace while it lasts 😉

Series Masterlist || Main Masterlist || Tag List

Chapter 2: No Signs, No Compasses

Motel coffee sucked. It was a well-known, globally accepted fact.

You had tasted enough of those in your career to know it wasn’t even worth a try at this point. Thus, finding a good source of caffeine became sort of an adventurous challenge on every work trip. Back in Houston, you had your spot and the server knew your order by heart. Here, in Helena, you were new and still had to navigate your way around.

In search of a decent cup, you passed a sign on the highway and entered the Blue Fox Diner. It was a bit on the outskirts of town, but, frankly, you had no idea where the border truly ended. Everything was damn far apart from one another, the only houses which adjoined were the ones on Main Street USA. That was it.

The diner was bright and comfy, giving you an immediate welcoming feeling of home-cooked food and a good roast. Your first sip of black, delicious liquid confirmed it – this was your spot.

“Special Agent Y/L/N?”

Your head snapped up from your cup of joe to a female voice, recognizing the blonde deputy from the Sheriff’s Department yesterday.

“Deputy Jenny Hoyt, right?” You gave her and her friend a smile as the two women sat across from each other in a booth by the big window. You could tell by their curious and mischievous looks that your spectacular entrance wasn’t lost on them.

Great…

“Uh, yeah. You wanna sit with us? Heard you’re staying for that serial killer case,” Jenny said and offered you a seat next to her.

“Sure.” You accepted her invitation without hesitance, knowing you had to get over the awkwardness at some point. After all, you had to work together, and you wanted to get it out of the way rather sooner than later. How did you so gloriously fuck this up in the first place? You usually were professionalism personified – someone J. Edgar Hoover would’ve been proud of.

Right. Beau. There was your answer.

“Cassie Dewell,” the other woman introduced herself and shook your hand as you slid into the leather seat next to Jenny. “I’m a private investigator in town. Special Agent Y/L/N, was it?”

“Oh, yeah, I’ve passed by your agency. Nice to meet you,” you said, smiling. “And Y/N is fine.”

“So, how do you like Helena so far?” Cassie asked curiously, although you caught the underlying question between the polite smiles. ‘How do you like our sheriff so far?’

However, you weren’t going to make this easy for them. “Well, uhm, not seen much aside from my motel, the Sheriff’s Department, and this diner. Coffee’s great, though.”

“Leave it to Donno to brew a decent pot,” Jenny muttered with a bitter huff and rolled her eyes.

You threw her an inquisitive look, partially amused. “You don’t seem to be a fan.”

“Oh, it’s about the owner, Tonya. Jenny doesn’t like her,” Cassie explained.

“Then, why exactly are you here?” You were happy the conversation steered clear of you. For now. You knew this bliss and peace wouldn’t last forever. They were just warming you up for the Spanish Inquisition.

“To keep an eye on her. She used to work for a cartel,” Jenny replied.

“Before she went legit and became a real estate agent,” Cassie added.

“Legit my ass,” the blonde huffed. “Pretty sure she stole those fifteen million…”

“She did help us with Gigi,” Cassie countered, which didn’t seem to convince the blonde too much. “And that whole Avery situation.”

“Well, you know, you could always tip off a rivaling cartel. Might get rid of your problem,” you suggested jokingly. “I have a few contacts.”

Jenny’s lips curved into a delighted grin. “I like that idea.”

Cassie snorted, laughing. “Yeah, nice.”

“So… you and Beau are… dating?” Jenny questioned quite forward.

And there it was. The one you’d been waiting for. You sighed internally.

“Jenny!” Cassie chided and threw her friend a look over her directness as the blonde mouthed back an innocent “What?”

Your cheeks blushed slightly, but you were all about being direct as well. You cleared your throat, tapping your nails on the table. “It’s fine. After my more than embarrassing entrance, I deserve the third degree.”

“Good answer.” Jenny smiled encouragingly, making you feel a little more at ease. They weren’t aiming to claw your eyes out; they were just curious about you. If the roles were reversed, you’d be as well.

“And it wasn’t that embarrassing,” Cassie placated your nerves. “Trust us, me and Jenny had our fair share of drama. You’re good.”

“Well, I’m glad, I guess…” You let out a relieved chuckle, hoping you wouldn’t stay the small town gossip for long. “And, uh, to answer your question: No, we’re not dating. He’s a nice guy, but it’s nothing like that. We just go way back, and I guess old habits die hard.”

And boy, was that true. Beau and you had once been inseparable. It still felt weird to think about that now you weren’t and hadn’t been for a while. Your heart still ached and longed all the same. That stupid, useless feeling of missing him. He was cut out of your soul, but the phantom pain remained.

Jenny nodded and shared a look with Cassie. “Honest. I like it.”

“Me too.” Cassie’s mouth formed a smile of agreement and reassurance. “So, how long have you guys known each other?”

That was when the cop portion of your chat started. You hadn’t expected anything less, but you were determined to keep it professional and, most of all, shallow. Chitchat and oversharing were more Beau’s territory, but it certainly wasn’t yours.

“About ten years.”

Jenny nodded pensively, thinking about her next question. “You worked a cartel case together, right?”

“Oh, a few cases over the years, actually. I’m stationed at the FBI field office in Houston. Used to work Narcotics before switching to Major Crimes,” you said.

“Hence the serial killer here,” Jenny filled in.

“Can’t believe we’ve got another one,” Cassie remarked with a huff, shaking her head into her coffee cup.

“Oh yeah, right! Heard about the Bleeding Hearts Killer at that campsite.”

You remembered a newspaper article about it. Occasionally, you did still check up on your ex like every sane person would. You even followed him on Social Media, although all he ever posted about was fucking trout fishing. But that same news article had also informed you about Beau leaving his early retirement in the rearview mirror, being referenced as the acting sheriff on the case. It almost seemed like a weird coincidence that one of your active cases would lead you right to him not long after. Cosmic jokes and such.

“Yeah, Sunny and Buck Barnes,” Cassie provided.

“Cassie is actually dating their son,” Jenny told you, smirking at her friend.

“Yeah, we’re not that official yet,” Cassie deflected but noticeably blushed. “You guys need any help with your serial killer?”

Jenny looked at you, knowing you were the one who called the shots now.

Nodding, you twitched your shoulders. “Sure. The more the merrier. More female eyes might even help, considering we’re probably dealing with a woman.”

Jenny cocked a brow. “A female serial killer?”

“It’s rare, but our profiler sure thinks so. As do I,” you confirmed.

“Oh, this just got interesting.” Cassie grinned, intrigued. “We sure never had that one before.”

“No, we did not,” Jenny reiterated, chuckling.

“What didn’t we have?”

Beau’s gravelly voice startled you from behind, but you tried not to let it show. Of course, you’d run into him. It was a small town, after all, and this diner was probably the only place to get good coffee. Avoiding him was not only improbable, but it was an impossibility.

Beau was a good man. But the truth was that he was more than the Southern-charming, bad-dad-jokes, never-shutting-up sheriff everyone had grown to love in Montana. There was another side to him. A side that defied authority, broke rules, and caused trouble. A side you knew better than anyone.

“Female serial killer,” Jenny supplied with a grin.

“Really? A woman?” Baffled, the green-eyed sheriff lifted a brow and looked at you.

“Why, you think a woman can’t do it?” Cassie challenged him with a teasing grin. You knew there was a reason why you immediately took a liking to her.

You watched Beau purse his lips as he struggled for an answer. You had a feeling he had to do that a lot with these two. It almost seemed unfair.

“No, women can do murder just fine. Especially you three,” Beau retorted and then circled the booth with his finger, sipping his coffee. “The three of you bonding is my nightmare.”

“Oh, c‘ mon.” Jenny snorted in amusement.

“Yeah, we’re harmless,” Cassie added.

“Right… Who are you tryna fool here, huh?” Beau chuckled and scratched his beard. “Mind if I sit down?”

“Sure, hop in,” Cassie said and offered up the seat next to her.

“Yeah, I was about to head out anyway. Have to call my supervisor with an update,” you excused quickly and stood up before Beau even sat down. “By the way, I have eight boxes of files in my trunk. It’s gonna be a fun afternoon for us.”

“Well, I’m looking forward to it,” Beau said, trying to remain professional, even though you could tell he was bothered by your abrupt exit.

You, however, weren’t ready to face him yet and spend a whole afternoon with him. You needed more time… and space. Which was hard, considering you two had to work a case together.

Hard but not impossible.

“Oh, uh, Beau, that’s not necessary. Cassie offered to help, so we have enough hands on deck for now,” you said innocently and tried to hide your astute smile as best as possible. “I don’t wanna keep you from your sheriff duties. I saw the giant pile of files on your desk. But I’ll let you know when we need you.”

Admittedly, that was a little mean. You knew how much that man hated paperwork.

Defeatedly, Beau pursed his lips and overplayed his loss with a sour smile. “Yup, alright… thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” You grinned and didn’t care he knew exactly what you were doing.

“Hey, Y/N, you know, uh… it’s kind of a tradition to buy a round of tequila when you first arrive in town,” Cassie noted with a smug smile.

You matched it, amused, although you could smell an ambush from a mile away. “Oh, yeah? Well, that’s a tradition I can get behind. Where and when?”

“Tonight? Bar called Boot Heel around eight o’clock?”

“I’ll be there,” you accepted the invitation. “But just a heads-up, pouring tequila into me isn’t going to make me open up more.”

“Really isn’t,” Beau confirmed wryly.

“Dammit,” Cassie sighed in feigned disappointment but grinned nevertheless.

Jenny coolly shrugged it off. “Was worth a shot.”

Beau watched you leave with dread in his heart. As soon as the glass door fell closed behind you, he let out a longing sigh.

“Alright, what did you do?” Jenny’s voice ripped him from his thoughts. The blonde crossed her arms over her chest and arched a brow.

He had almost forgotten they were here, too.

“Yeah, she’s been barely here twenty-four hours. That’s fast, even for you,” Cassie chimed in with a teasing smile.

“Okay, I didn’t do anything, alright?” Beau defended with a creased brow and a bark in his voice, but his curiosity soon got the best of him. He leaned in closer, resting his elbows on the table. “Why? Did she say somethin’?”

“Yeah, he stepped in it,” Cassie commented dryly and looked straight at Jenny, taking his question as a confirmation of their theory.

“Yup.”

Beau rolled his green eyes, his patience already thin after the sleepless night he had. “Alright, did she say something to you guys or not?”

Cassie sighed. “No, she was very… courteous.”

Jenny nodded in agreement and shrugged one shoulder. “Yeah, she kept it professional. Said you were nice.”

Beau felt a surge of relief. “Well, that’s good, right?” he asked but watched both women shake their heads with pursed lips. “It’s not-… it’s not good?”

“Nope.”

“Nuh-uh,” Jenny retorted, “You don’t wanna be called nice. Not in that way, at least.”

“I don’t?” Beau cocked his eyebrow at the two, feeling rather confused at this point. “So, what’s the verdict?”

“Depends on what you did there, cowboy,” Cassie taunted him with a grin, which was mirrored by Jenny.

“Oh, I’m not telling you guys,” Beau huffed, shaking his head. Contrary to popular belief, he knew when to keep his mouth shut.

“You’re not talking for once?” Teasingly, Cassie popped an eyebrow at him.

“Must be bad then,” Jenny finished the thought. “Did you-, you know… cheat with her on Carla?”

Perplexed and slightly offended, Beau furrowed his brow. “What? No! Nothing like that. Carla and I were already separated. As in papers served and signed… I’m a very loyal-commitment kinda guy, alright?”

Beau didn’t want to admit his answer might have been a slight overcompensation on his part. While it’s true that he never cheated and would’ve never even considered it, he wasn’t without faults, either. There had been certain feelings towards you fermenting in his stomach, slowly but surely festering in his heart before he even knew what was happening and could put an end to it.

“That sounds like she was your rebound,” Jenny pointed out.

“Yeah, and casual,” Cassie threw in.

“No, it was nothing casual, alright? And she wasn’t my rebound,” Beau replied with an exhaustive breath. Jesus, did you get the third degree as well? At this rate, he should consider himself lucky if you were still in town by tomorrow. His head was spinning. “I mean, if she was my rebound, I was hers, too.”

Dammit, he said too much. He knew the two women would take that piece of information and run with it over the mountains of Montana, probably even making it over the border to goddamn Canada.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jenny questioned as expected. “Is she married? I saw the ring on her finger.”

“Yeah, looked like a wedding band,” Cassie mused.

“Okay, Sherlock and Watson, enough, alright? She’s not married,” Beau replied, but only to save both your reputations. “It’s a sentimental thing. There’s a lot of history there.”

“What kinda history?” Jenny’s knitted brow practically stared at him.

Beau grew tired of their interrogation and dragged a palm over his face, leaning back in his seat. “It’s complicated.”

The two women then shared an inquiring look that held an entire conversation, knowing their interview had run its course. Beau wouldn’t answer any more of their questions.

“Want our advice?” Cassie offered.

Beau hesitated for a moment, puckering his lips in thought. He was desperate, and they could smell it like coyotes. “Alright, lay it on me. What d’you got?”

“Nothing.” Cassie twitched her shoulders and met his annoyed glare with a pleased smile.

“Yeah, see, you actually have to tell us first what happened before we can help you,” Jenny elaborated.

“Alright, I’m done,” Beau said frustratedly, tapping his knuckles on the table once as he rose from his seat.

“Oh, Beau, c’mon, we’re just messing with you.” Cassie chuckled softly and looked at him apologetically. “Fine, you want our advice? Apologize.”

“For whatever you’ve done,” Jenny added.

Pensively, Beau nodded and clicked his tongue. “What if I’ve done that already?”

“Do it again,” Jenny advised simply. “Until she hears you.”

“Yeah, get down on your knees, you know,” Cassie deadpanned. But as Beau suspiciously eyed her at the particular word choice, she burst into laughter.

“Nice.“ Jenny joined in, tears stinging the corners of her eyes as the two clinked their coffee mugs together for a toast to their cleverness.

Beau chuckled out of sheer uncomfortableness, his cheeks flushing embarrassingly red. “Oh, you two are hilarious… I’m heading to work,” he grumbled. “You know, you might wanna join me if you wanna keep your job, Hoyt.”

With a sigh that resembled a yawn, you stretched your shoulders and spine as you got up from the uncomfortable wooden chair in the Sheriff’s Department. You checked your watch and noticed it was already past 2pm.

“Alright… you guys want something for lunch? I’m buying.”

Technically, the government was buying, but you would take any chance you could get to make yourself a little more popular with your colleagues. Jenny, Cassie, and Deputy Poppernak (who told you to call him Mo and started looking you in the eyes again after you brought him a sandwich and a coffee this morning) then gave you their lunch orders, and most importantly, where to get it. What you didn’t expect, though, was Beau appearing behind you out of nowhere after he had locked himself (pun intended) in his office all day and had given you your requested space.

That courtesy apparently was over.

“I’ll come with you,” Beau announced. And although his facial expression resembled a friendly, soft Golden Retriever, you detected the stern bite in his voice. He wasn’t going to be cast aside again.

Stubborn as you were, you still had to try.

“Oh, you don’t hav–,” you tried to interject, but he swiftly waved you off.

“Nonsense. You can’t carry all that alone. I’ll help. Part of the sheriff duties,” he said in his most neighborly tone and grinned triumphantly at you, beaming with Southern chivalry.

You huffed a sigh. Great…

Ignoring Beau Arlen was like trying to avoid air – it was impossible unless you planned on suffocating. Not even a fast pace could get him out of breath enough to stop pestering you. His voice trickled like slow poison into your mind. One of these days, it would infect your heart and destroy your defenses.

“Y/N, hey, can you slow down a little? I didn’t bring my marathon shoes to work, alright? Don’t make me write you a ticket for speeding!” Beau huffed behind you in a half-joking tone, chuckling at his own wit. “C’mon, I just wanna talk. Lord knows you already had your fun today.”

With a heavy sigh, you stopped in your tracks and turned to face him on the sidewalk, Beau almost crashing into you. He clearly hadn’t expected you to actually listen to him.

With a fierce glare in your eyes, you crossed your arms over your chest. “Look, I’ve got nothing left to say to you, okay? Can we just keep this civil?”

Beau pursed his lips but quickly recovered, offering you a charmingly desperate smile. “Well, lucky for you, you would just have to listen.”

You rolled your eyes and started marching ahead again, feeling Beau hot on your trail.

“Y/N, c’mon!”

“Dad?”

At that, both you and Beau spun around, recognizing the voice in an instant as Emily walked out of a shop.

Beau’s face immediately lit up. He gave her a tight hug, kissing her temple. “Hey, kid.”

“Aunt Y/N?” Emily’s face tilted in surprise, brow knitting as she noticed you and left her father’s arms. She greeted you with a bright sunshine smile.

“Hey, Em,” you said and happily mirrored her smile. You had always loved that girl since she was little. Something she wasn’t anymore. It had been a while since you’d last seen her. “Wow, look at you. You’re all grown. You look like you’re about ready to head off to college.”

“Don’t remind me,” Beau mumbled with a sigh next to you.

“Yes, please don’t make him cry,” Emily begged you, chuckling, but her look was still pleadingly serious. It made you laugh. You remembered how protective Beau was of her. It was endearingly sweet, which made it a little harder to be furious with him. “What are you doing in Montana? Are you visiting Dad?”

“Oh, uh, I’m here for a case, actually,” you replied, swallowing, and shot Beau a quick glance to check how much you were allowed to share.

“What kinda case?” Her brow furrowed as she looked at her dad with concern. It broke your heart a little to know that, whenever you were involved, Emily thought her father was in danger.

“Em,” Beau warned her softly.

You had figured he still refrained from talking about work with his family, not wanting them to worry unnecessarily. After what his daughter had been through this summer, you couldn’t really blame him.

“Right, sorry,” she said meekly and bit the inside of her lip.

“Beau?”

Every molecule in your body shuddered at the sound of that voice. God, you so didn’t want to do this right now. The last time you’d seen Carla, it didn’t end well. If you could, you’d teleport yourself somewhere else – preferably Hawaii.

Beam me up, Scotty!

Beau flashed you a glance over his shoulder that said pretty much the same thing – shit. With a thick swallow, he angled his face toward his ex-wife and forced an awkward smile to his lips.

“Hey,” he rasped, his throat drier than the Death Valley.

“Y/N?” As soon as Carla spied you, her brow arched and her features turned sinister. The unhappy surprise of finding you here was written all over her face. And if it hadn’t been, her words soon made her feelings for you abundantly clear. “What are you doing here? Wrecking more homes? At least you’re wearing clothes this time that don’t belong to my ex-husband.”

Yup. You hadn’t expected a warm welcome, but that even exceeded your expectations. You gaped at her, a bit speechless. Even Beau seemed temporarily at a loss for words and was taken aback. Only Emily looked the most upset and voiced it, too.

“Mom! Really?!”

Carla then looked apologetically at her daughter, aware of her inappropriate comment, her mouth falling open in shame. You knew it was a knee-jerk reaction.

“And that’s my cue to leave,” you retorted. As you spun around, you glanced up at Beau and touched his shoulder comfortingly, letting him know you were still here, even when you were mad as hell at him. “Call me when you’re finished here. Or if you need an alibi…” you muttered into his ear in passing.

“I’m coming with you,” Emily announced with a scowl over her shoulder at her mother. She hopped next to you and looped her arm through yours, following you inside the restaurant.

As soon as you and his daughter were out of sight, Beau glowered at his ex-wife and shook his head. “Really, Carla? Was that necessary? You know nothing ever happened when we were married.”

“I know, I know,” Carla agreed and sighed, clasping her temples. “I’m sorry. I really am… It just came out. I guess it’s just old wounds, you know? I was surprised to see her here.”

“Yeah, I get that.” Beau bobbed his head in understanding, smacking his lips. He hated everything about this and knew he could only blame himself for it. “I mean, c’mon, you two used to be friends once, right? What happened? You’d think after what you went through with Avery, you’d have a little more compassion for what she’s gone through.”

Carla pursed her lips and bit the insides of her cheeks, surely stifling a fiery comment. “You wanna know what happened between us? You did, Beau,” she snapped, but before he could open his mouth to respond, she heaved a sigh and shot him a remorseful look. “But you’re right. I’ll apologize to her later.”

“Thank you,” he said graciously as his shoulders deflated and passed the tension.

“What’s she doing here? Everything okay?” Carla asked, lines of worry etching her brow. It told Beau that she still cared about him, even if it was just a smidge.

“Uh, yeah. Just work. Serial killer,” he replied. Since their eventful summer, Beau tried to be more open and honest, keeping a clear line of communication with his ex. It was a step forward. “Three victims so far.”

“Serial killer? Again?” Carla raised her brow and scoffed. “I guess it’s good I’m bringing Emily back to Houston, then.”

“You still wanna do that?”

A part of him hoped they’d stay because he wanted to stay here. Montana had given him a fresh start. One that was much needed. Houston, on the other hand, was haunted and full of ghosts he didn’t want to face. He had been running from them for a while now, although they were slowly catching up to him.

But he also needed his family, his daughter. He wanted to be a constant in her life, not just a variable.

“Honestly, I don’t know,” Carla sighed and looked a bit torn and helpless, which was rare for her. But Avery’s secrecy and death had done quite a number on her, and Beau supposed she was still working through a lot. “What d’you think?”

Beau thought it was ironic she was suddenly asking for his input, considering she didn’t ask for his advice the first time she took their daughter and moved several states away. But he knew better than to say that out loud, especially since he was partially at fault.

Rubbing his beard, your earlier words reverberated in his head. His daughter wasn’t a little kid anymore and would fly the nest soon, as much as he didn’t want to admit it.

“Maybe we should ask Em what she wants. I mean, she’s almost seventeen. If your work isn’t a factor, then maybe we should let her decide.”

Carla nodded pensively as if she was actually considering it. “Yeah, okay,” she agreed and let out a sentimental sigh. “She’s growing up.”

Beau’s smile carried a drop of sadness. “Yeah, she is.”

Surprisingly, his talk with his ex-wife went better than expected. He just wished things would be as easy with you. All he wanted was just a chance to make it right. He couldn’t screw up another relationship.

“Beau… For the record, I want you to be happy, okay? No matter how, where, or with… who,” Carla told him and gifted him a cordial smile that showed her sincerity.

He appreciated her words. There’d been bad blood between them. Divorce made people bitter, he supposed. But old wounds had to heal eventually, too.

As you stepped outside the restaurant with Emily, you flashed an insecure glance at Carla. You averted your gaze to Beau, holding up a big brown paper bag. “You ready? Got the food.”

Beau checked quickly with his ex-wife, who nodded, letting him know that they were done here.

Carla then turned to you and cleared her throat, and you were sure it took a lot for her to even look at you. “Y/N, I’m sorry about earlier.”

You nodded, accepting her apology. You’d never done anything wrong, but the situation was complicated. It was hard on all of you.

“It’s fine. We’re good,” you assured her and gave her a half smile. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry, too. I heard about your husband.”

“Thank you,” she replied courtly and motioned for Emily to follow her. “C’mon, honey. Let’s go.”

“Bye, Dad.” Emily waved at her father.

Beau quietly watched his family saunter down the street before he glanced at you and offered you a clumsy smile. “Well, this went better than expected, right?”

You didn’t share his humor, however, and threw him a dark glare. You spun on your heel and trudged back to the Sheriff’s Department. “I have to get back to work.”

Beau exhaled heavily. This wasn’t how he had imagined his outing with you, wishing for a sign or at least a damn compass to show him the way.

March 2014

“Maybe it was the courier?” Beau suggested as he caught the pigskin before throwing it back to his partner across the desk. Passing the ball had become a ritual, helping them work through their case theories one by one.

“Nah, I don’t think so.” Randy shook his head when it was his turn. “What about the maid? She certainly had motive.”

A few more exchanges and tosses back and forth happened before you waltzed into the police station. Randy missed his catch, the football almost flying through the Captain’s window, but you gracefully caught it just in time and placed it securely down on the desk.

“Nice catch,” Beau complimented you, impressed.

“Hi, honey,” your husband greeted you and found your lips, kissing you deeply. You giggled and locked your arms around his neck as he pressed you into the edge of his desk.

“Geez, really? Get a room you two,” Beau huffed jokingly, making both of you laugh enough to stop your make-out session but not enough to detangle yourselves from each other.

“We’re newlyweds. We’re supposed to make you sick and scratch your eyes out,” Randy quipped with a grin.

Smiling warmly, Beau shook his head at the two of you. “You got married eight months ago. When’s that honeymoon phase ending, huh?”

“Never,” both of you replied in unison and started kissing again, causing Beau’s eyes to roll back.

“God help me…” He sighed dramatically.

His sigh of exhaustion was soon joined by a second one. “Ugh, again?” Carla asked as she stepped into the station and tilted her head at you and your husband.

“Yeah,” Beau confirmed, amused, and kissed his wife’s cheek. “How did that court case go?”

Carla exhaled a breath of fatigued annoyance. “Y/N’s buying drinks tonight. Thanks to her Oscar-worthy performance on the stand,” she replied as you grinned winningly at her. The two of you had a deal – whoever won a court case was inviting the other for consolation drinks. “You know, I’ve never seen someone so convincingly fake-cry during cross.”

“You’re welcome.” You smirked slyly. “My high school drama teacher taught me that. I think he would’ve been proud of me today. Those were real tears, you know?”

“Oh, the jury certainly thought so.” Carla laughed bitterly.

“So you lost?” Beau glanced at his wife. “I’m sorry, darlin’.”

Carla arched an eyebrow and knowingly crossed her arms over her chest. “Are you, Beau?”

“Nah, not really.” He laughed and said, “You did defend a tweaker who killed three people over a little bag of meth, so…”

“Well, I know better than to argue with two cops and a federal agent over the rights of American citizens,” Carla fired back.

Beau snorted in amusement. “Wow, okay. Y/N really pissed you off, huh?”

“Again, you’re welcome.” You beamed with self-satisfaction.

“Oh, you both are pissing me off,” Carla retorted jokingly and then looked at you, smiling. “I gotta get back to the office. I’ll see you at the bar.” She then turned to her husband, pointing a finger at him. “And I’ll see you at home.”

Beau leaned in to kiss his wife goodbye, but Carla already rushed out of the station before he got a chance. He heaved a small sigh, his eyes drifting to Randy and you as you giggled like two lovesick teenagers.

“I gotta get back to work, too,” you said as you withdrew from your husband’s lips. But then you noticed an opened case folder on Randy’s desk. Curiously, you tiptoed up and spied over his shoulder to get a better look at it. “Unless you two got something fun here…”

“Ay, hands off! That ain’t your jurisdiction,” Beau warned you playfully and stopped short of batting your hand away.

“C’mon, we’re stuck. She might be able to help,” Randy interjected with an innocent shrug and a puppy dog look.

Beau heaved an exasperated sigh and then smiled challengingly at you. “Alright, what d’you think, Special Agent Y/L/N?”

Grabbing the file, you leafed through it for a moment and then mused, “Hmm, couldn’t have been the maid. Her schedule doesn’t match time of death. But maybe it was the courier? There’s a theft ring hitting several states. They use bike couriers.”

Beau’s smile widened to a triumphant grin as he pointed a finger at his partner. “Ha! That’s what I said.”

“Alright.” Your husband groaned defeatedly. “Let’s check it out.”

“Oh, now you suddenly want to, huh? After the wife said it? That hurts, man,” Beau teased.

Randy shrugged smugly. “Yeah, well, she’s a lot smarter than you.”

Beau pursed his lips and nodded, hiding his smirk of amusement. “Yeah, I guess that’s true.”

“Well, you guys have fun with this,” you said and kissed your husband’s lips one last time. “I have to get back to work. The tweaker Carla defended gave up his supplier in Brownsville. The DEA wants me to come down to Matamoros with them tomorrow. They think the guy is Gulf Cartel.”

Randy furrowed his brow, and you could see the concern shimmering in his eyes. “How long will you be gone?”

“Two weeks maybe?” You shrugged, not knowing exactly how long assignments sometimes could last. Worst case, you could even be undercover for a couple of months, and your husband knew that.

“So, we’re gonna have fun tonight?” Randy smirked and wiggled his eyebrows, resting his palms on your hips as he pulled you closer.

You grinned smugly. “You bet we are, baby. Bring the handcuffs home.”

“Guys, c’mon, I’m standing right here,” Beau complained and threw his arms up, making both of you laugh and blush.

“Alright, be careful,” Randy reminded you with a peck on your lips.

You nodded and then turned to Beau. “You’re gonna protect my boy here while I’m gone, Arlen? Have his back?”

“Yes, ma’am. With my life. Promise,” Beau said and smiled at you reassuringly, putting you at ease before you walked out of the station.

Randy let out a worried sigh as he watched you leave. He looked up when Beau patted his shoulder in comfort.

“She’ll be fine. She’s a tough one,” Beau said in an attempt to calm his partner’s nerves.

“Yeah, she is,” Randy agreed quietly before his teasing nature returned. He grinned up at him and quipped, “You couldn’t handle her.”

“Sure, I could! Have you met Carla?” Beau retorted as both of them fell back into a brotherly banter. “Trust me, once your sickening honeymoon phase wears off, you’re gonna be right where I am.”

“What, happily unhappy?” Randy sassed and cocked an eyebrow.

“Exactly,” Beau replied wryly, clicking his tongue.

“Nah, man, that’s not me and Y/N,” Randy stated with a surefire grin.

“Alright, lover boy, let’s put our courier in the hot seat. C’mon,” Beau grunted with a roll of his eyes and brushed off his feelings on the subject, although he began to doubt his own statement. He was admittedly a bit jealous of his partner’s relationship.

Maybe some couples were just happier than him and Carla.

Beau tossed the old football into the air and caught it again. With a thoughtful sigh, he placed it on his desk and sunk back into his chair, his palm still resting on the ball.

“You were right, man. Who would’ve thought…” The sheriff clicked his tongue. A knock on the door ripped him from his trance, his green eyes darting to the visitor.

Jenny carefully peeked her head inside and checked on him, “You okay there?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he assured her. He didn’t bother to form a smile, though.

She pursed her lips, clearly not believing him, but nodded her acceptance. “You wanna join us at the bar? Might give you a chance to talk?”

“Uh, yeah, but you girls go ahead. Still have a few things to finish up here,” Beau said.

“Alright.” Jenny gave him a small smile, but she didn’t leave yet, her hand resting on the doorknob. “You know, when I first saw you with Carla, I thought I had it right. But this-… this is an entirely new look.”

Beau grimaced. “Shut up.”

Jenny laughed lightly. “If you love her, you should tell her.” Beau only shot her a deadpan glare, to which the blonde raised her hands in capitulation. “Alright, just sayin’…” With that, she closed the door behind her again.

Beau’s eyes then landed back on the football on his desk, smacking his lips in thought. Sometimes the guilt was eating him alive, burning him from the inside out like acid.

“You’d be okay with this, right? I know you’d want her to be happy,” he verbalized his thoughts out loud, hoping it would give him some clarity. He wasn’t sure, however, if he was just saying it to alleviate his own guilty conscience and justify his actions.

“I think I could really make her happy, you know? At least, I’d try,” Beau said. Two fingers rubbed his mouth as he spun on his chair and glanced out the window to the dark sky and the stars above. “C’mon, man, I just need one small sign…”

Chapter 3: Pour The Whiskey

More glimpses into the past and maybe some much needed talking coming next week! Let me know all your thoughts in the comments, loves 🤍

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[that-butch-archivist]

"Tess was a performance artist and part-time jewelry maker who now worked as a set designer. [...] The first night we spent together, I taught her to knit — my classic seduction technique (High Femme Camp Antics, or HFCA) — and about frisson, that carbonated feeling that accompanies a crush. We stared at each other for a long time, unblinking. Because I knew that this otherwise might take forever (lesbians!), I finally asked Tess point-blank if she felt a frisson for me (HFCA). In response, Tess kissed me hard, with teeth. I knew she wanted to fuck, but I pushed her hands away dramatically when they crept under my skirt (HFCA). I told her that I didn’t typically sleep with people so soon (HFCA), which was true not for any real reason but because I was privately humiliated by my body (HFCA). Instead of letting her fuck me, I scratched Tess’s entire torso with my long, pink fingernails (HFCA). “Her fingernails drifted down my neck, across my shoulders,” Jess Goldberg, the butch narrator of Stone Butch Blues, says of a high femme whose camp antics thrill her. “I’d forgotten the sheer pleasure of a high femme tease.” “Your fingernails are full of frisson,” Tess said as morning light began to stream in through the window above her bed. “I know,” I said. I recently read a collection of funny stories by Lesléa Newman, high-femme chronicler of dyke life in the 1990s (the materialistic, shopping-addicted Golden Age of HFCA). In one story, a butch named Flash arrives to pick Lesléa up and take her out to dinner. Flash politely tells Lesléa that she looks nice. “The average femme would have taken that to be a compliment,” Lesléa dishes. “But this high-maintenance femme hadn’t spent the last two weeks shopping for the perfect outfit and the last seven hours bathing, shaving, bleaching, filing, polishing, combing, brushing, drying, moussing, spritzing, spraying, and applying five pounds of makeup to have all her efforts summed up in one little four-letter word.” Flash’s flimsy compliment doesn’t satisfy Lesléa’s desires to be seen, appreciated, and worshiped, and so Lesléa starts from the bottom and works her way up, prompting Flash to compliment her shoes, her miniskirt, and finally her hair in a grand, shimmering pyramid of HFCA. But even as she performs satiation, Lesléa is insatiable. Her antics fail at getting her precisely what she wants from Flash, because there’s always something unsatisfying about getting what you want by asking for it. Lesléa’s desire glows from within the frame of her HFCA, distilled and exposed and unmet. Can I Come Inside, my high-femme sex game, deals primarily with unmet, outsourced, and circumnavigated desire. In Females (2019), trans lesbian critic Andrea Long Chu argues that femaleness is a universal, existential condition rather than a gender or a sex — a condition of being and of consciousness that involves letting others do our desiring for us. At stake in Can I Come Inside, as well as in HFCA at large, is a femaleness that both craves and rebels against its tendency to outsource desire. In playing Can I Come Inside, I, like Lesléa, ask Tess to do my desiring for me, and Tess in turn defers her desire to me: the game is strictly my desire, one that she insists she does not share. Even though it mandates a performance of aggressive desire from Tess, there’s no doubt that Can I Come Inside is about my desire; it’s my game; I make the rules."

-- An excerpt from "High Femme Camp Antics," an essay written by Jenny Fran Davis. (Emphasis in bold my own.)

[knightyoomyoui]

The Tale Of The Bloodline | TWICE MiSaMo (Mina, Sana & Momo) x M/F Reader- CHAPTER 12: "The Mysterious Ally"

In this chapter, it follows the aftermath of what happened last week on Knockdown when Kim Jennie makes a save for her former friends and co-members of BLACKPINK against the control of The Bloodline which then leads them to declare a war against them to be held on the next premium live event. However, both teams needs 5 members, and each of them has one more missing person to complete their respective teams. They go on to search for a rightful fighter in the roster who can fill the vacant spot.

1 WEEK LATER | November 18, 2022

The newly reunited BLACKPINK consisting of Lisa Manoban, Rose Park, Kim Jisoo, and Kim Jennie who recently did the initiation to bring their bond back in order to cease The Bloodline's unruly dominance in the main roster were the ones that got tasked to open the show to address the brawl that happened last week.

They all stood in the ring together, something that felt surreal and relieving seeing them all on the same page once again just like the old days. Lisa and Jennie looked at each other with an awkward yet satisfied smile on their faces while hearing the crowd cheer for them.

Lisa hits the mic thrice to do some checking, still not moved from the embarrassment she took caused by the technical team's fault on not fixing the sound system of her mic while she made her return last week which would've made her return better if that didn't happen."Is this thing working on properly now?"

The crowd cheered again with some laughed at her joke knowing what she's referring at. "You all can hear me now, right? Yeah? Well, Sapporo, how are yall doin?!"

Again, the crowd's lively sounds resonate in the arena, happy to see one of the fan favorites checking up on them. Lisa smiled and nodded, understandably thinking that they were all doing well at the moment while watching the show live. "Alright, I'm going to start off with this. I noticed there's a lot of people who are happy to see that in fact… Kim Jennie is standing here by my side while the rest of my girls are ready to go to war with The Bloodline considering the fact that…

Lisa looked at Jennie and stood closer to her. "You and me, girl, we have more than a decade of history together. A rivalry. How many times have we gone to war with each other, friend? How many times have people questioned us about whether we really do trust each other?

The truth here though is that those so many years of rivalry has created mutual respect…" Jennie stared at her and nodded slowly, agreeing with what Lisa is saying. "It created a bond. A bond so strong that as a matter of fact I asked Jennie to be my bridesmaid when I got married few weeks ago." The audience clapped to congratulate Lisa about the news, who took it with a heartfelt gratitude.

"Jennie, we the BLACKPINK wants that baddie in you." She pointed at her.

Jennie laughed amusingly at her term. "Baddie? You really said baddie?"

"Well yeah I said it."

"Hmm actually yeah, i'm feeling really like a baddie myself here right now." Jennie agreed.

"You are? Well, I'll tell you this girl, when it comes down on this, there's no one I would rather be in the tranches with than you, Jennie." Jennie nodded appreciatingly at her sincerity. "So what do you say, will you be one of us baddies again?"

Jennie chuckled at Lisa's silliness. The fans then started to chant "baddie" at Jennie, and it made her pretty surprised that the fans were going along with Lisa's humor. "Nobody knows what it's like to be outnumbered by The Bloodline more than good ol' Kim Jennie. Just like it seems when you get them beat. Just like when it seems you have the upper hand… another muppet appears, another one multiplies… but when the odds are even, that's a different story altogether.

As a matter of fact, I'm going to war… and I want to go with my sister."

Jennie offers a handshake to Lisa. She just looked at it first before she made the move to step forward and bring Jennie to her closer for a longing and thankful embrace that made the fans feel touched and glad for the two best friends.

Rose lifts the mic to her mouth and started speaking, with no means of rudely interrupting the two's wholesome moment. "Well this is nice girls but uhh… let's get serious shall we?" Jennie and Lisa broke up their hug to pay their attention to their co-member. "Sapporo! It's fight night! And Jisoo…"She wraps her arm around Jisoo's neck like a buddy and points the mic at her, giving her the opportunity to continue her words.

"Yup, it means… it's Wargames!!!", Jisoo exclaimed, as she confirmed that BLACKPINK and The Bloodline will be the ones who the participating in the annual Wargames match which features two rings placed side by side together in one roofless steel cage and you can only win by pinfall or submission. If a competitor tries to escape the ring then it automatically means their team forfeits. Hardcore is legal in this match also.

The crowd cheered and it made both Rose and Jisoo hyped while Jennie and Lisa walked around the ring seething the intensity building up through their core by all means to unleash it all against The Bloodline. "Alright, ladies. I see 1, 2, 3, 4 people but…"

She went near at the ringpost where one of the cameramen are, she stared intently at it and smirked as she held the mic for a while to create suspense. "… who could be the 5th member for our team?"

"Well I'm gonna let you know who's gonna be the 5th member is-"

"Hold on right there, ladies." They all heard a familiar voice coming from the distance. The crowd both booed and cheered at the sudden emergence of Minatozaki Sana on stage, with a microphone of her own in hand. "I think I speak on behalf of the entire Bloodline when I say that… we do not care who the fifth member is. We don't!

We're feeling good! We're feeling great. You can even say that we're not feeling…" Sana paused, and the crowd slowly picked up what she meant by it. They start chanting SHY SHY SHY as a callback to the joke she made to YN when the two had a confrontation in front of the Empire Chief. Sana smiled and said that they got it right. "Yes, you might say we're not shy shy shy about getting involved in this whole thing.

She slowly walks confidently, boasting about The Bloodline's unbothered state en route to the War Games, speaking as their representation, aka The Honorary Muse. "Now here's the thing: you girls really think that you all are getting into our heads. Do you know who you are dealing with? You are talking to Minatozaki Sana right now! Aka the Master Strategist… Aka the Honorary Muse… Aka Myoui Sana?! "

Jennie and Lisa chuckled at Sana's ridiculous nicknames she bragged all for herself. "And you all really think that we're worried about - wait let me tell you something, I don't make a lot of guarantees, but I'm putting my name on this one. As The Honorary Muse, I personally guarantee you… The Bloodline will win Wargames!"

Sana saw one of BLACKPINK's members who is going to be her opponent for the tournament that will indicate who will be the winner of Japan Federation's World Cup: Kim Jisoo who is getting amped up at Sana's irritating blabbering. "I see you're getting round up there, Jisoo. You and me don't need to wait tonight, girl. You and me are going to have a one on one match tonight anyway so here's what I'm going to do, I'm going to run onto you and I'm gonna give you a small taste you can all expect next Saturday at Wargames!"

"Well Sana uhh…" Lisa took the initiative to speak next. "I'm delighted to see you being confident but uhm… something tells me that when you find out who the 5th member of our team is… well you might about to get to piss your pants when you meet this person."

Sana scoffed and smirked sassily at her, not getting provoked by her threats. "Because… It's the last thing you gonna expect."

Sana's brows furrowed while still plastering that smirk to cover her slight nervousness on this mysterious person as they ended their confrontation with BLACKPINK's theme playing in the arena again.

"So here's the question now, who will be the 5th member of Jennie, Lisa, Rose, and Jisoo for Wargames as they look to end The Bloodline's dominance." commentator Knight Yoo asked.

"Absolutely I have no idea, partner." his fellow commentator on the desk Lee Kwangsoo replied.

30 MINUTES LATER

The Bloodline has arrived with Myoui twins YN and Mina along with their cousin Hirai Momo. As they got updated from Sana herself that she confronted BLACKPINK who were the ones who opened the show… well, just like the usual, one of them is highly opposed of Sana's decisions around the room.

"What you said about the Bloodline? I know you're not dumb enough to go out there a guarantee W's at Wargames." YN is currently scolding Sana, with Mina and Momo just listening to their discussion. Sana looks tired listening again on listening to YN's strict words, shaking her head and breathing deeply to compose herself. "We don't even know who their fifth member is!"

Sana immediately stood up and went face to face with YN. "What did I do wrong this time?" she asked, sick of the blame she's receiving. "Tell me what was wrong that I did, all I just did is to go out there and say we're gonna win. Are you saying we're not gonna win?"

"Ofcourse we're gonna win!"

"Okay, so what's the problem?!"

"Cuz you're gonna be running your mouth-"

"Now wait a second YN…"

"Hey listen you two." Mina stood up from her seat and went in between Sana and YN. "Both of yall need to be on the same page. Yuta is on his way here, we have to be like that before he comes here."

"Right."

"Take a chill pill, alright?"

"I'm child, I'm chill."

"Take a breath, Sana. Alright?"

"Right." Sana agreed at Mina. YN is just staring at Sana while he/she follows what her twin advised for them to do. Sana then made her way out of The Bloodline's locker room. YN then faced her twin and complained again. "Sis, she will need to be-"

"And you, you better stop worrying about her too much!" Mina interrupted her to give the proper scolding for her younger twin."We got Bloodline business to handle tonight, and we need to figure out who will be our fifth member tonight, you know that Yuta might not be available for Wargames."

"Y-you're right."

"Handle business, come on."

"You're right, you're right."

They stopped exchanging words of comfort when Sana reappeared again on the scene. "Hey sorry, uhh I forget to mention, you know the thing we talked about earlier?" She asked Mina.

"Yeah I did."

"Okay." They did some weird handshake together that caused YN to accidentally burst out a laughter in which he/she tried to control immediately to hide it and avoid breaking up character near Sana. They hugged before Sana left again. Momo just looked weirdly at YN and the latter blushed after he'she got caught.

ANOTHER 30 MINUTES LATER

The Myouis continue to search around backstage. They went on to visit some locker rooms to ask for their fellow heel warriors if they want to align with The Bloodline for one time but all of them refused, either they hate The Bloodline too, they don't want to get involved, or they have a much more important feud to focus about instead.

The unsuccessful twins still ain't losing hope yet, especially when they got to cross paths with someone familiar that they think would be a best option to add more shield in protection against BLACKPINK.

"The Harbinger Of Doom" Bae Irene who attacked Kim Jennie when she made her return to Japan Combat Federation few months ago was seen by YN and Mina walking her way back to her place after she just won a match against her opponent out there. The two went eye to eye with a fellow villain and the latter eyed them down with complete seriousness.

"Are you the fifth member?" YN asked her with angst. Mina traces her out and came up with an unsatisfied conclusion.

"Nah, this ain't her YN."

"Let me make things clear to you…" Irene spoke after. "I'm not a follower."

"So we won't gonna see you there with us after, huh." Mina replied. "You won't gonna make a name for yourself out from The Bloodline after Sana fights Jisoo tonight, right?"

Irene smirks. "When I come to take Yuta's title, which I will… I'm gonna do it on my own time. And when I do, I'm not gonna show him some pack… I'm gonna do it all by myself.", she made a statement that he's not yet over on setting it sight on target at the current champion.

Irene left the two, still remain unsuccessful to search for their fifth member at Wargames. It made them problematic, as time is running out for the main event to come after tonight and for the show to end. They don't have enough opportunity remaining to look for more fighters out there who are willing to face BLACKPINK.

1 HOUR LATER

It it now time for the main event as "The Honorary Muse" Minatozaki Sana for Japan with The Bloodline on the ring side goes against BLACKPINK's Kim Jisoo for Korea with the rest of the team standing up for her own side in support for her stake in this week's tournament round for the Japan Combat Federation World Cup.

As the match proceeds minutes after the bell has rang for the two fighters to start, Jisoo climbs to the turntackle to deliver a moonsault down through all Bloodline members after they all gathered when The Myouis checks out on exhausted Sana.

"Jisoo and Sana, who will advance to the semifinals of the World Cup tournament…" Knight calls as they watch Jisoo holding her aching wrist while returning to the ring and going to the opposite turnbuckle facing Sana's direction to the other side.

She tried to charge at Sana for a running punch but Sana counters, lifting Jisoo's body and gave an exploder suplex to the turnbuckle, making Jisoo's back hit the corner of the ring. Sana then went on Jisoo's previous spot in replacement so that she could set Jisoo up to get hit by a Helluva Kick but the referee had its attention after Lisa and YN throwing hits at each other until YN tried to escape by climbing to the ring just in time to interrupt Sana who was about to ran towards Jisoo.

Lisa grabbed YN's feet as she tries to pull him/her out but YN fights out. The referee is giving a warning to YN for illegally entering the ring being not an official competitor. Sana complained at YN getting in the way but YN didn't heard it. Instead, Sana just watched YN getting thrown to the ringside barricade by Lisa.

Distracted, Jisoo rolled Sana for a surprise pin but Sana kicks out. However, she got surprised again when Jisoo quickly sets Sana with a Boombayah reverse slam, hitting Sana's front down to the mat. She went for a cover afterwards.

"1…2…3."

"Jisoo goes to the semifinals next week!" Knight declares Jisoo's victory.

The announcer didn't even got to give the credit to Jisoo when suddenly Momo entered the ring and kicked Jisoo's face. She carried her, hooker her arm around and gave her a spinning slam. Momo roared furiously until Jennie joined her inside the ring and stole her attention, giving her blows to the head and sending her through the corner where she kicks Momo repeatedly.

Rose and Mina on the other hand were also fighting each other. Rose dumps Mina out of the ring and followed her there. They go on to collide through the barricades while Jennie and Momo exchanges hits and switches positions on the turnbuckle.

As Jennie stomping Momo and Rose punching Mina on the ringside, the crowd then went in awe when the entrance theme of The Empire Chief and current Japan Combat Federation World Champion plays during the chaos.

Yuta Nakamoto arrives with his Special Advisor Park Jinyoung on the stage, his evil intentions set mainly on their adversaries. He started running and unleashed a superman punch on Rose then speared the approaching Jisoo from his right.

After he bragged and roared in effect of the damage he inflicted, he noticed Jennie staring on him, as she stood in the center of the ring. She took off her shirt, showcasing her only wearing a sports bra through her well-built physique, as she intensely aims at the undefeated enemy.

Jennie gestures for Yuta to come in and bring it on. Yuta who is feeling confident and tough, climbs to the ring to accept Jennie's invitation for a fight. Momo tried to distract Jennie only to get thrown through the top rope which caused Yuta to take the short advantage by spearing Jennie as she turned her body back around.

Jennie holds onto her hurting midsection as Yuta mocks her out of it. He was about to approach the weakened Sana laying down on the upper right corner of the ring but he felt a sense that someone is stalking him from behind.

He finds out that its the vengeful Lisa, who wants payback for the ones responsible for her minor injury that took her out for months. "Now here's the two who has history together before, especially when it comes to Quest Of Survival." Knight referred to their feud seven years ago when Lisa cashed in her championship contract right after Yuta won his first world title to steal the spotlight to him and win the title away from him, giving him only a reign for 5 minutes that all happened at the same pay-per-view in which they're both about to head onto in a Wargames match.

Lisa and Yuta stares down at each other in the middle of the ring before Yuta went for the blow first then Lisa strikes back. They exchanged punches until Lisa got the lead. It cut off short when Sana suddenly got up and bumped Lisa to her back, breaking her up from Yuta. Lisa catched Sana and pushed her to the corner before Yuta was able to superman punch her too.

Yuta positioned himself, squatting at the corner with adrenaline rushing through his veins. He stares at Lisa slowly getting back to her fett, unknown that an impactful spear is about to hit her next. However, Yuta's excitement was replaced with shock when the arena played the entrance theme of another fighter that made the audience jump out from their seats in joy.

Cho Miyeon, who is out of action after taking an emergency leave because of her fractured hand makes her surprise return for tonight's Friday Night Knockdown. She savagely marches through the ramp and superkicks Mina out of the way. YN tried to attack her but he/she also met another superkick from Miyeon.

Yuta tried to warn Miyeon not coming to the ring but she initially refuses as she stepped in the apron. The two who has a personal history together also, as Miyeon was one of the first found victims of The Bloodline before who tried to take the title away from Yuta third times only to fail through all of those.

The crowd then chanted "holy shit" as Miyeon slowly comes up in front of Yuta and they stood level at the ring. Yuta tried to hit her but Miyeon caught his wrist, and returned the same greeting by slapping Yuta then went on to hit him repeatedly as she sends him to the corner of the ring.

She angrily stomps at Yuta's poor body until she turns around and stopped when she saw her bitter former bestfriend turned to be enemy throughout their career, Minatozaki Sana standing away from her. They stared at each other and slowly grew inches closer until Yuta gives Miyeon a surprise superman punch out of nowhere.

Rose pulled Sana out of the ring and threw her at the barricade. With Yuta and Miyeon remaining in the ring, Yuta goes for his signature battlecry but Miyeon gave a knee strike onto Yuta's forehead, making him dizzy which allowed her to kick Yuta on the torso and hit him with a devastating stunner.

The crowd cheered as Miyeon watched Yuta slowly roll out of the ring while holding his head. Sana also watched her Empire Chief got beaten by her former bestfriend, gasping her mouth.

The show ends with The Bloodline as the fallen odds gathered at the ringside, unbelievably witnessing BLACKPINK peeking at them through the ropes along with Cho Miyeon, making herself the official 5th member for Team BLACKPINK for this coming Wargames match at Quest For Survival pay-per-view event.

[jezebelgoldstone]

RRR (2022, dir S. S. Rajamouli)

things i am not now and likely never will get over from RRR

DRIFT COMPATIBLE BATTLE COUPLE DETECTED

queer? platonic? queerplatonic? who gives a shit no matter what it was it was AWESOME

Colonialism Is Bad Actually: The Musical

the symbolism. holy shit. every BIT of it was absolutely amazing.

wow all the mains in this movie are just, really hot? my poor lil pan heart had a rough time with this one ngl

the fact that someone (likely many someones) watched this movie about Colonialism Is Bad Actually and said 'you know what let's dub this whole thing into Hindi and English and then not give an option to watch it with the original Telugu dialogue' sure was,,,,,,,,, A Choice

THE MUSIC

by which i mean the actual song-and-dance numbers as well as the like story soundtrack all of it is going on my playlist asap

listen the spirk-behind-glass scene is awful. spock and kirk can't even touch. they can hear. they can see. but they cannot touch. and i in my sweet ignorant bliss thought that was as bad as it could get.

tonight i learned that holding someone in your arms through the bars of their cell is so much worse

I watched it on Netflix but i looked it up on a few other ahem websites and on EVERY SINGLE ONE Telugu audio wasn't even an option.

there was not one single chance to tie things together or make a connection or do a setup/payoff or callback that was not taken. not a single one.

everything about this movie is 100% Extra

in short: this movie is a masterclass

aaaaaand the rest below a cut because WOW i have a lot to say actually

which brings me to the dancing oh my gods. not sure i've ever seen such enthusiastic dancing in anything in my entire life. seriously by the final number i was exhausted just watching them

in general, this movie is: stunning

"RAM." "BHEEM." "SEETHA." IT'S ABOUT THE SYMBOLISM.

also this was kinda hilarious because i watched it in hindi [the least disorienting option] and they kept SAYING "ram" but in the subs it was always fuckin RAJU so like. again with the Choices. like seriously what was the thought process there. WAS there a thought process.

FIRE. WATER. STORY. I JUST. I. HELP ME.

i ADORED jenny. with my whole entire heart. she is one of the very BEST examples of Ignorance Is A Privilege and also At What Point Does Ignorance Become Malicious that i have ever ever seen. i loooooooooved it. i mean i hated it a whole lot while it was happening but also i am SO GLAD that now rather than trying to explain all of this to people i can just tell them to watch this movie and then sit them down and be like, so what are your thoughts on jenny's culpability in literally everything?

oh and how you can be a kind person and still do atrocities! like jenny is so sweet and so kind and you just like her so much and yet. and yet.

t h e s y m b o l i s m

i cannot remember the last time i saw a movie so visually stunning. the cinematography is breathtaking. pause on just about any random frame and it could be a movie poster or hanging in an art gallery or what have you.

they also dubbed all the lines that were actually in english? i mean i get it for the characters who spent most of the movie speaking Telugu because you'd need their voices to stay the same through the whole movie yeah fine whatever. but like. they dubbed all the ENGLISH characters, too? like literally dubbed them from english into english??? the dialogue matched their mouths except the timing was veeeery sliiiiiiiightly off but it SOUNDED really obviously dubbed??? Y THO???

HOLY SHIT THE FIGHT SCENES OH MY GODS

Malli. Malli honey i love you. i'm just realizing i don't know if that's your actual name gods damn it. but whatever your name is child i love you.

and did i mention that everyone in this movie is beautiful? like. seriously. Ram and Bheem especially holy SHIT.

Physics Does Not Work Like That And I Do Not Care Because That Was AWESOME: The Musical

oooohhhhh they re-recorded and dubbed the fucking SONGS too. i am so pissed about this y'all i can't even tell you.

oh i want to do a whole entire post that's even longer than this one about the symbolism. hell i could probably do a whole entire post just on the fire/water symbolism even without everything else. It was AMAZING.

okay ram is fire and bheem is water and ram's people go to a valley on the shores of a river and the river is in literally every shot of the village and just ram BEING fire but water being a place of HOME and SAFETY for ram

i'm not crying shut up

MALLI AND HER MOTHER TRY TO REACH EACH OTHER BUT THEY CANNOT TOUCH THROUGH THE GLASS

BHEEM AND MALLI HOLD EACH OTHER THROUGH THE BARS OF HER CONFINEMENT AND HE HAS TO LET GO AND LEAVE HER

BHEEM AND RAM HOLD EACH OTHER THROUGH THE BARS OF HIS CONFINEMENT AND BHEEM RIPS THE DOOR RIGHT OFF

ooooooohhhhhhh and people holding hands right before they part. oh that hurts. all of those hurt so bad.

how every single time people held hands when they parted they always held on till the last possible second EXCEPT FOR RAM'S MOM.

she lifts her hand away from him and then pulls back and it was devastating

Predators Do Not Work Like That But I Do Not Care Because That Was Awesome And Also They Ate A Bunch Of Colonizing Cops: Queercoded Edition (ACAB)

bheem with his arms spread and rope or chains around his wrists or in his hands. i just. the way it flipped back and forth from 'he has the power' to 'he is helpless' to 'he should be helpless and isn't' was just. breathtaking.

AND THEN. AND THEN RAM. CHAINED UP THE SAME WAY. DOING THE SAME GODDAMN THING AND USING THE FACT THAT HE'S CHAINED UP FOR HIS OWN FUCKING PURPOSES BECAUSE HE SAW BHEEM DO IT FIRST DON'T TOUCH ME

okay listen this movie would've been good no matter what but like. they really are just SO beautiful. and. when ram. with like the long hair. and. beard. and like. you know? like. his. his hair. his general. everything. um.

literally at the most emotionally inappropriate moment i literally thought about that whole 'i saw a man so beautiful i started crying' thing and like that almost literally happened literally

Why There Can't Be Any Such Thing As Good Cops: The Romance (ACAB)

and like here's the thing i'm not sure i would've even NOTICED this had it not been for the linguistic chauvinism with the audio and everything but like both of them were hindu and a lot of the symbolism though awesome was also really strongly hindu and i just i don't know nearly enough about hindutva to have any kind of opinion BUT i also feel like maaaaaaaybe there was something a little uncomfy about some of this

oh no wait the suspenders dance. that might've actually been the best part. yeah.

oh all the british actors did SUCH a good job being so eminently punchable

throw cheetahs at each other! and snakes! somehow have upper body strength greater than the force exerted by a 800+ lb tiger lunging! throw those motorcycles! punch through those walls without breaking your fingers! use herbal paste to heal broken bones in a matter of a minutes! break solid stone with nothing but the strength of your shoulders and gay love! i am so here for all of this!!!

Throw Rocks Marble Pillars Live Tigers Cops At Cops: The Movie (ACAB)

i love that jenny felt bad for the poor little girl who got kidnapped enslaved and imprisoned so she. bought her a dress and a toy.

you know, to make her feel better about the whole 'being kidnapped enslaved and imprisoned' thing.

instead of doing, i don't know know, literally anything else. like even just saying to her aunt 'hey this makes me sad' or something. #solidarity.

the violence was violent and the romance was sweet

okay so during the fight at the midpoint like i know that by the end of it ram and bheem are literal fire and water BUT ALSO. Ram enters the scene in a flaming carriage and from that point forward the fountain is in pretty much every shot of bheem. just sayin.

love that lachu (or whatever his name really is) told ram that there was no cure. like yes! you go man! ram may be so beautiful that in forty minutes i'm going to be in tears but that's no reason to tell a cop the truth about anything! you lie to that cop man!

A BRITISH SOLDIER HIT LOKI IN THE HEAD WITH A BRANCH AND THEN STOLE MALLI AWAY

BHEEM HIT RAM IN THE HEAD WITH A BRANCH AND THEN STOLE MALLI AWAY

i know other people got hit in the head with tree branches too but STILL

honestly i really like that ram and bheem were, well, ram and bheem. but i mean im glad they weren't like ram and lakshman or bheem and arjun or something. not even just because that would've been brotherly like i'm glad they weren't arjun and krishna or something either. i liked that their names weren't from the same story. i liked it better this way and i can't even articulate why.

i am never ever ever going to get over the progression of part of bheem's introduction being something going wrong and him holding two ropes (he has all the power) with his arms spread and that being used to show us how incredibly strong he is -> something going wrong and bheem with ropes around his wrists (he shouldn't have any power at all) holding his arms spread and that being used to show how incredibly strong he is in a completely different way

like every time there were ropes or chains in bheem's hands or around his wrists it meant something, and it was a beat in the rhythm of a discernable arc, but now i can't remember all of them gdi

oooohhhhh there was SO much more symbolism i wanted to talk about but it's so late that i have a headache and this post is so long my computer's lagging like two sentences behind so i should stop and go to bed. sigh.

just go watch this movie, okay? pleae? I cannot IMAGINE who would've read this whole thing,m but if you did, just watch it, all rigth? (and if you happen to know of any site - ANY site - where i can watch it in FUKIN TELUGU kindly drop a link please and thank)

[34saveme34]

SMG3's search history - what could it be???

my mind isn't the best rn (I'm sick) but this once again on my mind

And I think it's a bit trickier than we think but I'll try my best to list the possibilities

some important things to note about his search history:

Luigi liked whatever he was looking at

4 understood it faster than Mario. note the "What, I don't get it-"

emotional reactions 3 tends to have certain things (will get into it more)

the fact that he only really acknowledged 4 when he went back with the memory wiper

Mario commenting "what the hell was that search history" I hate you, Mario, you could've said something more interesting about it, that could give something away off of it.

So yeah, these were the things I wanted to point out

since Luigi liked whatever he was looking at, and we know this man likes men the most, especially big men, I think we can easily assume it was something gay. I'm sorry Jenny SlipperyT truthers, besides not like there isn't any gay mc porn so, still a chance

HOWEVER

something really important I want to point right back at "What, I don't get it-" Mario's comment is very specific here. If it was like raunchy ass hardcore gay porn, he wouldn't say that. He would've screamed immediately, being freaked out. So it's something REALLY weird that isn't immediately obvious. However 4 and Meggy knew way faster which gives away that maybe whatever 3 was looking at they were more familiar with.

Now, there's quite a few things that people in this show we've seen freaking out over. One being especially true is fanfiction, but

and here comes in my 3's preference thing- he didn't seem to like that stuff either, not even for a single second

However may I present to you..... something that might blow your mind...... something you maybe didn't think of

THIS episode

and actually the part that the thumbnail shows

when they are looking at the cakes

you might be like "But, dude, he is also flabbergasted about it?"

Really?

this ALWAYS struck me as odd

right after seeing that stuff, Mario is understandably under trauma while 3 immediately goes into planning to make cakes like that of himself

and Mario's reaction makes it feel like 3 wants to make them like the last ones, like yes you can interpret it in a different way, but my way of seeing it is also just as valid

aka the idea that 3 likes some weird ass shit, perhaps sometimes things that might not come off as sexual at first, or even cursed in some sense.

Now... the point you are waiting for me to address. The fact that he only really focused on 4. That gives me gay vibes, Idk how else to look at it. The idea that he was mainly scared of 4 seeing his search history doesn't help either. It only makes him look more gay. Like Mario and Meggy were literally right there, he could've said "Hi guys" he didn't have any noticable reason to only address 4. So what makes sense? That his search query had to do with 4 in some way. No other way to go about it. There's a thin sliver of chance that he only addressed 4 because he did search this weird shit on his computer and not anyone else's. But I don't think that's enough ground to make it more valid than it being connected to 4. Like, this reminds me of someone denying 4's queerness saying that the line "what will you do when you bring over a girl and/or boy?" as boy relates to the homies in a platonic way, as if, dude, keep being homophobic.

so what do we know?

it's gay

it isn't immediately noticable that it might be sexual in nature

it connects to 4 heavily

Now I present to you...... The combination of wonderbread and smg4

the wonderbread kind of fetish thing when you don't immediately realise there's a fetish going on, which fits well with 3's rather interesting taste

which might for example suggest perhaps characters that look similar to 4 in specific situation, it can go many ways but it has to be gay, considering Luigi's reaction, canonically said he is scared of women (in SMG4's search history)!

so yes what I'm saying is that 3 has some sort of weird fetish regarding 4 that definitely looks gay, he would definitely want to hide something like with his life after all

Although I still find it weird how comfortable 3 was to search that stuff at 4's computer

also might I point to also the fact he APPARENTLY has his credit card linked to 4's pc as well, as revealed during the 2023 wotfi prep stream??? he is AWFULLY comfortable at 4's pc

I don't know why he would that, like... he isn't actually stupid, were his feelings making him this stupid? Was he getting some kind of sick pleasure out of doing it at 4's room? We may never know, considering how stubborn 3 is and also a big damn liar

[chantiepie]

GET THIS MAN | JJK | part 1

ᵕ̈♡˳೫˚∗ᵕ̈♡˳೫˚∗ᵕ̈♡˳೫˚∗ᵕ̈♡˳೫˚∗ᵕ̈♡˳೫˚∗ᵕ̈♡˳೫˚∗ᵕ̈♡˳೫ ˚∗ᵕ̈♡˳೫˚∗ᵕ̈♡ ˳♡˳೫˚∗ᵕ̈♡ ˳♡˳೫

Warning: Sensitive content ahead. Mature language.

Genre: Comedy with a Dash of Dark Romance.

Classificação: 18+

Summary: ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴡʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ꜱᴛᴜᴄᴋ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʙᴏʀɪɴɢ ᴊᴏʙ ᴀɴᴅ ꜱᴜᴅᴅᴇɴʟʏ ᴀ ɴᴇᴡ ꜱᴇᴄᴜʀɪᴛʏ ᴄʜɪᴇꜰ ᴀᴘᴘᴇᴀʀꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛᴜʀɴꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ ᴜᴘꜱɪᴅᴇ ᴅᴏᴡɴ? ᴡᴇʟʟ, ᴛʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴꜱ ᴛᴏ ʏ/ɴ. ꜱʜᴇ'ꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ, ꜱᴛʀᴜɢɢʟɪɴɢ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀɪʟʏ ɢʀɪɴᴅ, ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴊᴇᴏɴ ᴊᴜɴɢᴋᴏᴏᴋ ᴀʀʀɪᴠᴇꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ᴋɴᴏᴄᴋꜱ ʜᴇʀ ᴏꜰꜰ ʜᴇʀ ꜰᴇᴇᴛ ɪɴ ᴀ ᴡᴀʏ ꜱʜᴇ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ɪᴍᴀɢɪɴᴇᴅ. ɪ ᴍᴇᴀɴ, ᴡʜᴏ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ'ᴠᴇ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ᴀ ꜱᴇᴄᴜʀɪᴛʏ ɢᴜᴀʀᴅ, ᴀ ᴅᴇᴄᴀᴅᴇ ᴏʟᴅᴇʀ, ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ ꜱᴏ ɪɴᴛʀɪɢᴜɪɴɢ? ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇɴ, ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏꜰ ɴᴏᴡʜᴇʀᴇ, ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴏɴᴇ-ꜱɪᴅᴇᴅ ꜰʟɪʀᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ꜱᴛᴀʀᴛꜱ ᴛᴏ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ᴍᴜᴛᴜᴀʟ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ɴᴇxᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ, ʏ/ɴ ɪꜱ ꜰᴀʟʟɪɴɢ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ʜɪᴍ, ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜ ꜱʜᴇ'ꜱ ᴄᴀᴜɢʜᴛ ʙᴇᴛᴡᴇᴇɴ ᴇᴛʜɪᴄᴀʟ ᴅɪʟᴇᴍᴍᴀꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄᴏɴꜰᴜꜱɪɴɢ ꜰᴇᴇʟɪɴɢꜱ. ꜱʜᴇ ɴᴇᴇᴅꜱ ᴛᴏ ꜰɪɢᴜʀᴇ ᴏᴜᴛ ʜᴏᴡ ꜰᴀʀ ꜱʜᴇ'ꜱ ᴡɪʟʟɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ɢᴏ… ᴘʀᴇꜰᴇʀᴀʙʟʏ ꜱᴛʀᴀɪɢʜᴛ ᴛᴏ ʜɪꜱ ʙᴇᴅ.

ᵕ̈♡˳೫˚∗ᵕ̈♡˳೫˚∗ᵕ̈♡˳೫˚∗ᵕ̈♡˳೫˚∗ᵕ̈♡˳೫˚∗ᵕ̈♡˳೫˚∗ᵕ̈♡˳೫ ˚∗ᵕ̈♡˳೫˚∗ᵕ̈♡ ˳♡˳೫˚∗ᵕ̈♡ ˳♡˳೫

"This is relative."

"Surely she's trying to set up a date with him," you tell Jennie as you speculate about Emily's intentions, who was chatting enthusiastically with Jungkook. "I find it quite bold, she deserves applause."

The girl's hands kept gesturing while she lightly tapped Jungkook's arms with each laugh. She tossed her head back slightly, quite charmingly.

"Do you think she'll show up tomorrow with wet hair?" The brunette seemed intoxicated, pondering how far it would go, but couldn't help but tease her friend. "Aren't you going to do anything? She's stealing your guy."

"I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm stuck in our anthropological moment of studying pre-coital rituals." Despite feeling slight pangs of jealousy, you were relieved that Jungkook didn't seem to be responding to the touches.

Recently, in your research, you had discovered other things about Jungkook, he didn't go to work every day because he wasn't just an employee, but rather the owner of the security company hired to handle the monitoring. So everything made more sense, since you really only saw him rarely.

"You need to stop and invest in that hottie," Jennie motivated you again. The brunette knew that in a way, her friend had been denying any chance of involvement for years, avoiding it by not allowing herself to live an adventure, always with excuses.

"Age difference, we practically work together, and he probably doesn't see me that way, he's clearly an MWFB," you said, grabbing a little more popcorn from the bag and quickly putting it in her mouth. "MWFB?" Jennie stopped for a second, looking at her friend with slightly raised eyebrows.

"You don't remember?" You look at her as if it were complete absurdity, placing your hands on your chest and bowing in a sign of betrayal. "Man we want to fuck but will break our heart." Still incredulous, you continue, "Besides, there's a chance, however small, that he might be bad in bed. I prefer to keep my fantasy intact."

"A man like that being bad in bed? With those arms, shoulders, face... Impossible, mark my words, when you finally go to bed with him, you'll be head over heels in love," the brunette says.

"Love from sex is what sticks," she adds.

"Even worse, imagine if I fall madly in love with him... It won't end well."

"At least try, you know? Life is here for us to make many mistakes, like sleeping with your ex who cheated on you on a weekend when you're feeling lonely," Jennie speaks as if it were a common situation, then returns to eating popcorn.

"It's not possible, I can't leave you alone for two days. Afterward, I want all the details. I need to go smoke before lunch ends, but you won't escape me," you say as you walk still turned towards your friend and then pointing at her a certain distance away.

"Go on, baby, go have some fun," Jennie encourages. "When was the last time you slept with someone? Besides Jimin... Hey, you owe me explanations, he was at your apartment yesterday." The last part comes out as a whispered shout, reminding you that you're still at work.

The blonde ignores her friend's comments as she walks to the elevator.

Seriously, Jimin was the guy who was always there for a good fuck, it was good, there was intimacy already and it was just that, but the comfort of always having someone to fulfill your needs left you in a stasis, not even looking for other people. That didn't stop Jimin from having several others, and you didn't even want that.

Jungkook, a clear danger zone that screamed "do not approach." Perhaps his imposing posture or being too handsome for reality intimidated you from getting closer.

"I need to get this out of my head," you say quietly stepping into the elevator. It was strange how in a few months a guy had managed to throw you off balance, awakening feelings you wished to silence.

Upon exiting the elevator, you walk directly to the open parking lot, a calm place where few smokers in the building were aware of, it was good to be at peace, even if for a short time. The sky was clear and without a sign of clouds, it would be a good night to go out drinking, Jennie and Ryan wouldn't refuse in any way.

With the cigarette between your lips, you begin to search for the lighter in the pockets of your light blue tailored pants, tapping them lightly and soon realizing you had left it in your bag on the eighth floor.

"Damn it, not this again, damn it," you say looking back at the sky, as if cursing the universe for your own forgetfulness.

"Hey, smart mouth, those words don't match your pretty face" a voice almost nearby startles you, and soon it had an owner. When you look to the side and come face to face with the infamous Jungkook, live and in color, in that black uniform that highlighted his toned body and a kind of strap attached to his right thigh.

"Here, you can use mine." The offer came almost in a whisper, like a soft melody that automatically made you shiver from head to toe.

Still not reacting much to the tragic coincidence and with the fact that you were hearing his voice for the first time, you quickly avert your gaze before you could get into a more embarrassing situation. You just say thank you while still internally berating yourself.

'Stupid'

Crosses your mind at the same moment that you're extending your hand and quickly touching the older man's fingers. Soon, your cheeks are tinged with a light shade of pink that you pray has gone unnoticed and remained hidden by the wind blowing through your hair and covering most of it, but Jungkook noticed the shyness and your shoulders shrinking.

He observed the woman beside him again, reaching out to return the lighter. "You can keep it, I'm not much of a fan of pink." Still staring at the horizon, you tuck the lighter into the tight pocket of your pants and remain quiet. Jungkook noticed a certain restlessness, you were tapping your foot lightly on the ground. Did he do something wrong?

Perhaps your attitude had made you uncomfortable, but throughout this past year when your company was hired to take care of the building's security, he had never bumped into anyone else in that part of the parking lot, especially not a clearly beautiful woman. Most people stayed in the company's smoking area where they gathered to talk.

The older man noticed. He was used to women trembling beside him, but that didn't please him. He knew that, because of his demeanor while on duty and some tattoos on display, he could create a certain discomfort in the environment.

Before he had the chance to question anything, he saw the unknown blonde woman extinguishing her cigarette in the ashtray and letting out what he presumed to be a "thank you" almost immediately, leaving faster than a ghost from his side.

He couldn't help but notice her hips swaying as she left. He felt like a stranger because his eyes immediately fell on her butt, and only one thought lingered: "Fat and round butt." He liked that.

He shook his head slightly and took another drag of his cigarette, trying to push those thoughts away before getting excited, she sort of fit his type. As he leaned in to discard the butt in the ashtray, he came across a cigarette that was almost untouched. 'She didn't even smoke half of it.'

That brief interaction was enough to turn to the one who would never judge him, or be judged, since we're talking about Jimin. The moment your feet touched the elevator entrance, you opened the chat.

Y\N: Are you free tonight?

Before you could close the app, the "typing" next to Jimin's photo appeared.

Chimchim: I was at your place yesterday, and you're already craving me again? Damn, has your fertile period arrived already? 🥹.

Inevitably, your eyes rolled.

Y\N: Just answer the question, please...

Chimchim: I'm always free for you.

Y\N: To spend the night too?

Chimchim: I knew it, fertile period. I'll be at your place at 10 tonight.

A sigh of relief escaped your lips, you definitely needed some relief. Not that Jennie isn't a good listener, but you wanted someone who was far from the situation and could bring strategies to resolve your frustration. And who better than the world's greatest flirt?

The day passed quickly.

With so many tasks related to employee payments and meetings with directors, you hardly had time to think about anything else. Almost, since at the door leading to the exit to the parking lot, you saw the security guard smoking with his back turned. Upon realizing this, you turned around and ran to the other exit, hoping not to miss the subway.

After finally arriving home, you take a long, hot shower, apply moisturizer, and put on a pajama consisting of a shirt and shorts, not worrying too much about Jimin's visit, as you were used to seeing each other in much worse situations.

You decide to open a wine that you received as a gift from Jennie and hear the doorbell ring by the time you finish your first glass. You walk to the door.

"Hello, Mochi.."

Before you could even complete your sentence, soft lips are on yours, hands gliding around your waist and pushing you into the apartment. You hear a loud bang as the door is kicked shut by Jimin.

"Mmmm darling, daddy's home, can't get enough of that mouth of yours." A mischievous grin plastered on his lips.

You didn't call Jimin for this, well, actually you did, but not just for this.

You place both hands on his shoulders and with a gentle push, you step back.

"Easy there, I need to tell you something." Jimin leans against the nearby wall, running his fingers across his lips, wiping away some saliva. The grin remains, though it fades slightly.

"Are you pregnant? You know, when I say daddy's home, I didn't mean it literally.."

"Oh God, Jimin, no. I just need advice, and you're the one who can help me. Besides, if I were pregnant, who's to say you'd be the father?"

"Okay, you have a point, but we both know I'm your go-to guy." He straightens up, walking past you and heading to the small kitchen counter, pouring more wine into the glass, then taking a sip.

"You can talk to me, above all, we're friends, S\N." He was right, despite the playful banter, as time passed, the intimacy between you grew.

You tell him about work and how you're feeling lost, mentioning Jungkook and your interest in him, and the interaction you had during lunch. And it seems that was the only thing Jimin heard.

"100 percent sure he'd fuck you if you asked."

"Jimin... I don't know if you noticed, but I'm in crisis." You sit beside him, grabbing another glass, since yours was stolen by the platinum-haired man.

"I like your lips " he whispers, leaning in close to your face, "when they're around mine, of course, because when you decide to speak... You just annoy me." And he makes a disappointed face. You huff and roll your eyes dramatically.

"I think you worry too much, he's not that much older, he's not even really an employee of the company where he works. Let's do this, on Friday I'm hosting a bike event at my PUB, invite Jennie and Ryan, that way, we'll have fun like old times."

"But damn. I feel like a teenager."

"Shhh, stop overthinking." Jimin gets up and gives a small slap on your left thigh, causing it to automatically open slightly. Without wasting time, he positions himself between them, taking the glass from your hand and drinking the remaining red liquid, which dribbles a bit at the corners of his lips. "Now." His fingers go to your chin, lifting your head to meet his gaze. "Let's enjoy ourselves."

On the other side of the city, right in the most secluded corner of the bar, a group of men decided to stay to drink beer. Among these men was Jungkook, whose mind wandered far away, recalling the events of the morning. He wondered if he was delirious to notice the blush on the girl's cheeks when their hands touched. Despite trying to push the matter aside, it slipped out. "Who's the blonde who was smoking in the parking lot today?" he inquired, trying to appear nonchalant, although he failed in that attempt.

"I think you're talking about Y\N, right? The blonde from the eighth floor," replied Taehyun, with a suspicious look at the question, taking another sip of his warm beer.

"Blonde from the eighth floor?" Yoongi intervened.

"Yes, the cute one, with the nice little butt, who always comes running, smokes in the top parking lot during breaks... She started at the office about two years ago or so, and, if I'm not mistaken, she's single," Taehyun said again, provoking a strange sensation in Jungkook's stomach. He didn't understand, but he didn't like the way his colleague spoke. Despite this, he felt excited about the last piece of information, but quickly tried to push any hint of interest away, shaking his head lightly before taking another drag of his cigarette.

"Interesting question of yours," remarked Namjoon, his partner, holding a sly smirk, prompting the other two to join him in giving the youngest a teasing look.

"Very funny, guys. Remember that I'm the one who schedules your shifts," he said, getting up from the table. "Well, it's already getting late for me, I need to go home."

"Stay a bit longer with us, JK," Taehyung insisted, with a whiny voice.

"I said I wasn't going to stay long. I'm too tired to go to work without getting enough sleep."

"Y\N..." he whispered quietly as he drove straight to his apartment. Her name echoed in his mind, and a feeling of curiosity seized Jeon.

Hey, just dropping by to say that it's going to be a mini-series, so it will have between 3 to 5 parts.

[redhairedwolfwitch]

Tattooed Tall Clown - Jenni Hermoso x Reader

A/n: this one gets a little sassy, a little spicy, a little chaotic, there's a lot of talk about tattoos and some spicy topics... also a lot of thirsting... this is actually a bit of a long fic, whoops.

///

“So, everyone, we have this one for one final night before they jet off for sunnier skies, leaving us for Barcelona, once again!” Beth announced as she started the instagram live, pointing the camera at you before adjusting it so everyone else was in shot too.

“Are you going to miss me, Mead?” You fake pouted, teasing the Arsenal forward as she laughed.

“I’ve actually had quite enough of you! But the viewers seem to want to play a little game, so, Leah, what game are we playing?” Beth called out to where Leah and Jordan were across the room.

“The viewers? You sound like an influencer.” You deadpanned as Leah walked into view, glancing at the comments on the live before smirking.

“Well-”

“Whatever you’re thinking of, no!” cutting Leah off as she raised an eyebrow.

“Well I was going with truth or dare, but if you’d rather do kiss, marry, kill-” 

“Oh great, my teammates are watching from Barcelona too!” you pointed out, regretting it immediately as Beth smirked and Leah smiled with a slight devious look in her eyes.

“Kiss, marry, kill-”

“Pass.” Folding your arms in defiance, you waited for friends’ next moves.

“You can’t pass everything! Give us some ideas people!” Beth looked towards the camera hopefully after you cut off Leah’s attempt at ‘kiss, marry, kill’.

“Yes, Mapi! Okay, so…” Beth gestured to you to read the Spanish messages in the livestream chat before they disappeared.

“Describe my type in three words… pass, dare?” you proposed but Beth shook her head, looking at Leah as Jordan frowned slightly, wondering what was going on.

“I dare you… to answer the question.”

“Oh my ugh, fine, um… three words? Can I have more than three words I feel like there needs to be some explanation-”

“Hurry up, will you?” 

“Yeah, come on, we’ve not got all night!”

“Jordan, help? They’re ganging up on me!” you laughed, turning to the midfielder who shrugged at you, “wow… thanks… anyway… uh, my type, this is going to end up biting me in the ass-”

“Unless you’re into-”

“Mead, we’re on a live! Anyway, ugh, tattoos, height, funny…” you closed your eyes, pretending like hiding behind your hands would save you as Beth and Leah, and everyone watching the live processed what you said.

“Height, how does that help? How tall are you anyway?” Beth asked, but you frowned at her instead of giving her what she wanted, which was to know how tall you were.

“Funny and has tattoos… don’t all your teammates at Barcelona make you laugh though?” Leah replied before Jordan cut in, having got her phone out for something.

“And loads of them have tattoos!”

“I’m sorry, what game are you two trying to play, ‘what teammate could I have a crush on?’ if I had a crush, which I don’t. Mapi, you asked this on purpose!” you pointed at the phone, seeing that more of your teammates at Barcelona were now in the comments asking more questions.

“Someone has suggested we just go through the squad list and see which one gets a reaction?” Beth pointed out whilst you tried to hide the horror and panic on your face by clearing your throat, muttering a ‘good luck’ to them.

“Pina? Aitana? Alexia Putellas? Mapi? Leila Ouahabi? Patri? Jenni Hermoso?”

“You’re just listing my teammates because they happen to fall under the categories, but you forget I’m pretty sure they’re all taken so… let us move on-”

“Sandra?”

“Mariona?”

“Moving on now please! And no to both of those, they’re great, but no.” You gripped the bridge of your nose between your thumb and forefinger, closing your eyes to try to ignore how your teammates were still talking in the comments amongst themselves.

“I’m never going to hear the end of this…” you trailed off, looking at the camera as Jordan brought up another one of your teammates, Ana-Maria, since she also had tattoos.

///

Returning to Barcelona, you had barely stepped food into the facility before an arm wrapped around your shoulders, pulling you into them.

“Can I help you, Leila?” 

“I am your type, no?” Leila grinned, her grin deepening as you rolled your eyes.

“You watched that stupid stream? You were one of the many players that Beth, Leah and Jordan listed because you have tattoos, and you’re funny, that doesn’t mean anything, plus all the players those three listed, I’m pretty sure are taken, so let me go before we’re late for training.”

“Not all are taken!” Leila called after you, hurrying as you began to jog towards the dressing room to get changed into your training kit.

///

“Hola!” Mapi grinned, approaching you as you tugged your training top over your head, not seeing the other pair of eyes watching you with slight intrigue.

“Go back to Ingrid, León. Like I said in that stream, I don’t have a crush on anyone.” Your response was grumpy but you’d already had to clear things up with Ana, Mariona, Aitana (and Laia), whilst you were ready to whack your head against your locker when Clàudia walked over to you, but she just asked you about training instead.

“So you don’t think we’re all hot?” Mapi asked with a smirk, but your done expression said it all, barely dodging Alexia and Jenni as you walked out of the dressing room, carrying your boots instead of wearing them.

You had no doubt that Leah and Beth would have seen the messages you had sent them, threatening them slightly about what you had to say in the stream and how your teammates were on your case thinking you had a crush on one of them. Unfortunately, Beth and Leah found it more amusing than anything, having no way to contact your teammates and encourage them, they texted you back with teasing messages as well. Messages that once you read later, you would threaten to block them over, especially with the day at training you had had.

You should have known the other clowns of Barcelona would approach you eventually, but you didn’t think they’d approach during the gym session.

“Can I help you?” Patri grinned, offering to spot you as you began to head over to one of the weight benches.

“No thank you,” brushing off Patri’s question, you shifted to sort out the barbell first.

“So, I am your type?” Patri asked with a smirk, that smirk only falling when you almost dropped the weight plate, glaring at Patri.

“Really? Now? And I don’t have a crush on anyone, this is getting old, not funny at all!” you grumbled, checking the weight on the barbells was even before moving to start bench pressing. A guilty Patri spotting for you.

///

The drills moved onto the pitch, pairing up with Frido, your teammates were too focussed on their drills to keep teasing you. That was until the water break anyway, and you accidentally made eye contact with Jenni, who grinned and wiggled her eyebrows, making you avert your eyes and accidentally met Alexia’s curious gaze.

Rolling your eyes, you diverted your gaze from all of your teammates, instead locking it on the sky as Alexia walked over, asking how you were doing.

“No offence, but I don’t have a crush, not even on la reina, once again, no offence.” Biting your lip, you shrugged as Alexia glared slightly at the nickname, but her eyes softened when you ended up glaring at a spying Mapi, grumbling under your breath about the stream. Luckily, the water break ended and you could return to work with Frido again.

Frido raised an eyebrow as she found you slightly zoned out, watching one of your teammates for slightly too long, but you cleared your throat, ignoring how you had paused in the drill to stare at a certain someone. It wasn’t just Frido that noticed though, as Alexia smiled to herself, glancing at who you had been watching as a plan formed in her head.

///

Jenni had tried to approach you as you were all told to hit the showers after practice, but you quickly hurried to the showers, dodging the forward completely. Showering gave you some peace as you purposefully waited until most of the squad had cleared out before returning to the dressing room. Rolling your eyes, you tried to ignore how Alexia and Jenni for some reason were still there, talking. Jenni’s eyes followed you as you grabbed your stuff and headed out for the night.

“Buenas noches!” 

Alexia snorted as Jenni’s good night was left unanswered as you ran out quickly, the captain smirking as Jenni pouted slightly.

///

You’d barely arrived at the facility car park when the clowns decided they were going to start their teasing early. “Buenos días, can I help you, Ouahabi, Hermoso, León?” 

Slipping your sunglasses on as you walked, you obscured the three clowns’ vision of whether you were really looking at any of them, heading inside for the team to begin preparations for the away game against Eibar.

“We are your type, yes?”

“Well you’re slowly becoming less funny and more annoying every time you bring up that stream, so…” You sassed back, neither of the three realising your gaze lingered on one of them in particular, instead they watched you walk away to find the others.

“Why are you wearing sunglasses inside?” Irene raised an eyebrow, folding her arms until you removed them, balancing them on your head instead as you sat down to go over the plan for the Eibar game.

///

The bus drive to Eibar was a long one, everyone settling down in their seats as you curled up in the window seat, sunglasses on, headphones in, ignoring the world. Sitting on your own was supposed to give you some peace, looking out the window in thought, until someone sat in the seat next to you.

“You know it’s a long drive, do you really want to annoy me when we’ve barely set off?” you deadpanned, removing an earphone to acknowledge who had sat next to you, looking at you inquisitively.

“I hope I do not annoy you.” Frido grinned, raising an eyebrow as you let out a sigh, admitting that you were glad it was Frido and not one of the clowns, you’d affectionately dubbed them, since they kept teasing you about that stream.

“Why does it bother you this much, if you do not have a crush on anyone?” Frido asked, not hearing Alexia snort from where she was sitting nearby on the bus with Jenni, who was luckily distracted by playing games with Leila and Mapi.

“Because I stopped finding it funny the moment the teasing started, I don’t like having crushes, or telling people I have a crush because it’s pointless. Why would someone like me back?” you shrugged, about to slip your headphone back in when Frido caught your hand, shaking her head.

“You are not that bad.”

“Thanks… can we talk about something else now?”

“Your tattoos?” Frido asked, gesturing to your most recent tattoo with a grin.

///

Alexia frowned slightly as she heard you talk, glancing at where Jenni was locked in on playing whatever game it was with Leila and Mapi. Ingrid had headed to the bus’ bathroom before returning to talk to Marta and Caro, who were sitting in front of where Mapi and herself were sitting before.

“Ay, Jenni, it is your turn!” Mapi whacked Jenni on the arm, gesturing to the game, but Jenni’s attention had drifted to where you were talking vividly about something with Frido, a grin on your face she hadn’t seen as often since everyone kept bringing up the stream with your friends at Arsenal.

///

“Room assignments, no swapping!” Alexia called out for everyone to shut up as the pairs were called, your usual rooming with Frido thrown off completely as she was rooming with Alexia instead, and your name was called alongside Jenni’s.

Mapi was about to open her mouth but Ingrid distracted her, giving you a soft look that explained it all, since Frido was close to Ingrid, and neither of them had been teasing you like the clowns had been.

Keeping your gaze to the floor, you quickly took the keycard and headed towards the lift, almost forgetting Jenni completely in your haste to get away from everyone else teasing you.

“Hola, roomie!” Jenni grinned, having stopped the lift from closing before you could escape alone.

“Hello, Hermoso. I have one request, no references to that stupid stream, it stopped being funny the minute the stream ended. Meet this request, and I will try to get you a goal against Eibar.” You suggested, turning to acknowledge Jenni, even with your sunglasses still on.

“One goal?”

“Really, you want to try to bargain with me now?” you quirked an eyebrow, somehow getting the confidence to smirk at the forward who usually left you laughing and/or tongue-tied.

Jenni was unable to answer as the lift beeped, announcing it had reached the floor that you two, and the rest of the team were staying on for the time at Eibar.

///

The rest of the day training and preparing for the match went quickly, not allowing you even a moment to get stuck in your head, although you spent any free second watching Jenni train, and how good her tattoos and the rest of her- you get the point, and Frido did too as she poked you in the back several times throughout training.

Alexia rolled her eyes as Jenni didn’t even notice the ball at her feet, instead fixated on you laughing at something with Ingrid and Frido. Your captain rolling her eyes again when she found Jenni staring at you again.

“You are drooling.” Alexia whispered, distracting Jenni who immediately wiped at her mouth before continuing with the training.

///

You were supposed to get an early night, so you and Jenni returned to your room to sleep, you walking around the room in your pyjamas, ignoring how Jenni’s eyes followed you as she sat on her bed on her phone, before she got ready for bed herself.

The lights were off, Jenni was in her bed, yet you laid in yours, staring at the ceiling, wide awake.

You weren’t sure how long you were laying there, but the ceiling tiles were more defined as your eyes adjusted to the darkness, and you had no energy to go on your phone to check the time.

“Can’t sleep?”

“Sorry, did I wake you?” you rolled onto your side to acknowledge your roommate’s location in the darkness.

Simple conversation flowed as 1am rolled by and Mapi texted you telling you and Jenni to shut up because she could hear the talking through the wall.

“Screw it…” you whispered, throwing the bedding off of yourself and sitting up to climb out of bed.

“Qué?”

“Move over a bit… I don’t want to end up crushing you.” You stated, carefully moving your hands around in the darkness to slip under the covers in Jenni’s bed, jumping slightly as Jenni’s hand brushed your bare back where your pyjama shirt had ridden up slightly.

Your plan had been to continue talking, at a level where you could hear each other, but quiet enough not keep Mapi awake. Your plan hadn’t included falling asleep on Jenni and using her as a body pillow, clinging to her in your sleep as she returned the favour and held you in her arms.

You briefly woke up a few hours before you had to be up for the day, your tired eyes running over the tattoos on the arms that were holding you, not processing what it truly meant as you buried your face in what you thought was your pillow again, going back to sleep.

Waking up before her alarm, Jenni smiled as she looked down at your sleeping face, moving her free hand to gently remove an eyelash from your cheek before returning her hand to where it rested on your bare back, drawing patterns on your skin. Your pyjama shirt had ridden up again as you slept, giving Jenni a canvas to draw patterns on.

Your alarm began to ring first from across the room, your peaceful sleeping face turning into a grumpy one immediately as you began to stir and open your eyes, the first thing you see is Jenni’s smiling face. Heat ignited your face as you scrambled to get out of Jenni’s bed, climbing over her to cross the room, grabbing your gameday clothes and hurrying into the bathroom. Your sock getting stuck in the door as it shut left you hurrying to slam the bathroom door and lock it, hearing Jenni’s laughter on the other side as you began your morning routine.

///

Jenni found you at the breakfast selection, glancing over the options with your chosen cutlery and crockery on a tray.

“How did you sleep?” Jenni enquired as she reached for a banana from the fruit bowl.

“Okay, I guess,” shrugging at Jenni’s question, you finally spotted what you were looking for, heading towards where Alexia, Pere and Leila were sat at a table.

“Okay? You were using me as a body pillow!” Jenni pretended to be offended as she followed you over to the table, not realising how loud she was being as your teammates’ eyes widened.

“That doesn’t mean you were a good body pillow!”

“You smiled in your sleep!” Jenni retorted, watching as you chose to answer her instead of eating.

“I was dreaming about… puppies!”

“I thought you were a cat person?” Leila pointed out, pointing her spoon at you.

“You two shared a bed last night?” Pere shouted in glee, loud enough that everyone who had come down for breakfast had heard.

“You two shared a bed?” Mapi shouted from across the room, leaving Jenni to immediately notice how you glared at your breakfast, now untouched as the teasing began.

“Jenni is your type!”

The mention of the stream left you pushing back your chair, ignoring the teasing that followed you as some concerned gazes watched you leave, hearing you mutter one final thing before the door shut behind you, “damn stream…”

///

Once again, it was Jenni who found you, her gaze drifting over your body crouched down rummaging through your suitcase, but whatever you were looking for, you couldn’t find. Jenni sat on her bed waiting as you pushed up on your knees to stand up, sparing a glance at Jenni before you gulped, feeling a ghost of Jenni’s hand rest on your hip, her thumb drawing circles above your pelvic bone like it had this morning.

Standing up, Jenni opened her arms without expecting you to take her up on the hug, but you leapt forwards into her arms, burying your face in her neck as you fought back the tears of frustration, focussing on the warmth and comfort Jenni gave you instead.

///

You hadn’t realised that Jenni had seen more than just what your face looked like when you slept, not realising she’d seen one of your tattoos she didn’t know you had, until your pyjama shirt neckline had moved, revealing it.

“The tattoo on your collarbone, when did you get that one? I haven't seen it before now.” Jenni asked, almost regretting asking as you pulled away from her to reveal it again.

“You never asked.”

“"I can't ask about something I don't know, koala…” Jenni trailed off, her eyes lingering around your body as another thought came to mind, one that you picked up immediately.

“But why would you know about tattoos I got, in places you can't see?" You tilted your head to the side, leaving crumbs of a mystery in Jenni’s head, where were these other tattoos that she hadn’t seen?

“People often like to talk about their new tattoos.”

"Maybe I would have mentioned it, but everyone's favourite topic to ask me is that stream… it’s not like anyone but me has seen all of them anyway,” shrugging to yourself as you began to sort through your suitcase again.

“I wouldn’t mind seeing them.”

“This isn't a strip club, Hermoso, and I am not stripping for you!” you sassed back, giving up on whatever you were looking for as Jenni chuckled.

“Of course it isn't a strip club, I wouldn't pay you. What if I strip too?” Jenni proposed, smirking as you immediately shivered, turning around with wide eyes at Jenni’s boldness.

"Nice try, Hermoso. You'll have to try harder than that!” but your confidence was fake, and you had something else on your mind as Jenni took a step forward.

"I love a good challenge-” Jenni was cut off as your stomach rumbled, your face burning as the forward held in a laugh.

“Oh, koala, are you hungry?”

“Not for you… the teasing made me ditch breakfast, remember?” reminding Jenni of the events that had occurred in the cafeteria of the hotel, driving you away from your breakfast to take refuge in your room.

The two of you ended up hurrying out of the hotel, ditching your stuff on the bus to the match, and running down the street to the closest cafe so you could eat something. The two of you missing did not go unnoticed but neither of you realised the time as Jenni asked her question as you ate.

“"Can I know where your tattoos are?" 

Your mouth was full with the makeshift breakfast you’d got in the cafe to-go, so you began to point with your free hand to parts of your body which had the tattoos, leaving the mystery of what they were to remain as Jenni memorised each area you pointed to, and wondering what the tattoos were of.

///

Hurrying onto the bus, the two of you were slightly late whilst the teasing tried to continue. You sat with Frido on the bus, Alexia and Jenni sitting in the row in front. Alexia had asked how Jenni had slept, leaving Jenni to smirk and turn around, spotting you wearing your sunglasses again as she spoke, eliciting a loud response from you.

“I do not snore, Hermoso!”

“When you are awake. Sleeping? You are a snoring little koala clinging to me.” Jenni smirked, sticking her tongue out at you as you glared, even though it was hidden by your sunglasses.

“I do not snore, if anything you snore!”

“Oh, cariño, to find that one out, you need to wake up first, but with the way you were sleeping last night? I doubt that will ever happen.” Jenni replied, ignoring the amused looks on Alexia and Frido’s faces. 

“Maybe you shouldn’t have kept me up then!” you replied, folding your arms like a grumpy child as Jenni sassed you back.

“I kept you up, koala? It was the other way around.” 

“How? Was I staring at the ceiling too loudly?” tilting your head to the side, you looked up as Jenni turned around to look over the back of her seat at you.

"Your thoughts were really loud, koala, and what kind of friend would I be if I didn't help you get out of your pretty head?" Jenni replied, not realising her wording had several meanings and the sunglasses obscuring your eyes meant that nobody could see the emotions flickering through them.

“Friends?” your voice broke slightly, Frido about to interrupt but you cleared your throat, smirking slightly, “you must have slipped in the shower and hit your head or something if you seriously think I’m pretty.”

Frido immediately whacked you on the arm, whilst Alexia peeked over the back of her seat to glare at your words, but Jenni shook her head. “I think I am fine, koala.”

“You sure? You might need to be checked for a concussion… follow my finger?” you raised your hand, Jenni grinning like hell as she followed your moving finger with her eyes, winking with her next sentence.

“Maybe I should, I did fall for you hard.”

“Mierda, if you’re actually concussed you seem really happy about it?” you raised an eyebrow, pushing Jenni’s hand away as she reached for your sunglasses, ignoring her pout as you did so.

“I am in the presence of a pretty head after all.”

“My skull is average sized?” you deadpanned, frowning as Jenni rolled her eyes and Alexia and Frido both stifled their laughter as best they could.

“Are you sure you both got enough sleep?” Frido teased, wondering if your obliviousness was from sleep deprivation, or stubbornness.

“I slept well, I had a personal blanket." Jenni answered with a soft smile, but you sassed her back.

“Don't get used to having a 'personal blanket', Hermoso!”

"We will see about that, koala, I think you are going to miss having something to cling onto!” Jenni replied but Frido bit her lip, already knowing what you were about to deadpan.

"It's called a body pillow, it just doesn't fit in my suitcase."

"Seems like you need me then, koala.” Jenni replied before Alexia whacked her, raising an eyebrow at how far Jenni was going to take this.

"Or a bigger suitcase... I don't get into just anyone's bed, Hermoso."

“I am honoured, koala, you are welcomed back anytime…” Jenni rested her hand over her heart with a grin that made you want to bury your face in your hands.

"Last night was unintentional, but thanks, I think?" you shifted in your seat, frowning as Frido poked you in the ribs with a grin.

“Unintentional, you say? You are welcome, mi koala.”

“Did you want to keep our teammates up?  Mapi texted me that she could hear us talking through the wall!” You explained, making the move to remove your sunglasses but you decided against it in case your eyes give anything away.

“"You made the move into my bed though. You did not even ask, just climbed in next to me.” Jenni pointed out, not expecting you to give in so easily, but the coach had arrived for the game.

///

“You know, Hermoso, if you’re that interested in my tattoos, then you'll be happy to know I'm going to get another one soon." You taunted Jenni slightly in the dressing room of the Eibar stadium, leaving the forward full of questions as you walked away to go shower.

“Can I see where?” Jenni called after you, but you paused, raising an eyebrow at her.

“Still not stripping for you, Hermoso. It  feels like all you want is to see me with less clothes.” You deadpanned before leaving, ignoring Jenni’s retort that you knew the rest of the team heard.

“Can you blame me, koala?”

“"I guess we all know now which tattooed, tall & funny person they meant." Mapi declared, but everyone pointed out it had been obvious for a while now.

///

The game against Eibar went well with Barcelona winning (Jenni getting two assists from you, plus you had taken a power shot at goal and scored one yourself) and everyone taking the bus back. You and Frido sat watching a movie together before falling asleep for the remaining hours of the journey back as training for the next home game began a couple of days later.

///

Finding a patch of shade on the pitch after training, you flopped down taking a breath, not expecting Jenni to flop down next to you, propping her head up on her elbow as she looked you up and down.

“In case you need me as a body pillow.” Jenni smiled, grinning as you removed your arm from where it had been resting over your face.

“You suck.”

“On what?” Jenni wiggled her eyebrows, smirking as you immediately reminded her of a bird with ruffled feathers.

“Why are you so eager to have me on top of you?” you spluttered slightly, rolling onto your side to look at the forward properly.

“Because it is usually the other way around.”

“Usually? When have you ever been on top of me? Besides when I tripped over the ball that one time and took you down with me…” you trailed off, remembering that day of training far too well.

“Not yet, but maybe soon?” Jenni winked, but her hopeful tone went undetected by you as you sat up with wide eyes.

“In your dreams, Hermoso!” you hurried away, running off the training pitch directly to the showers, passing Alexia who was practising her free kicks in the process.

“What did you say to them? You are going to end up giving your koala a heart attack!” Alexia raised an eyebrow, walking over to where Jenni still laid in the shade.

“What did I do?” Jenni raised her hands like she was innocent, but Alexia shook her head.

"They ran faster away from you than they did for the sprinting drill!”

“I didn’t tell them to run away… I would have liked the opposite…” Jenni admitted but Alexia rolled her eyes, looking up as Caro walked over.

“Why did your koala just sprint into the showers?"

Apparently Jenni nicknaming you her koala had spread to the team’s knowledge as the forward shrugged at Caro’s question, “We were just talking.”

“Talking? Sure…”

“Or they ran off because you stink, go shower Jenni." Alexia instructed, folding her arms as Jenni sighed and got up off the ground, heading inside towards the showers with a “fine, fine!” directed to the captain.

Jenni entering the dressing room put her directly into your path, you were freshly showered and in clean clothes as you bumped into her, looking the sweaty forward up and down before you walked around her and into Frido. The dressing room soon turned into a game of koala pinball, until you were nudged from the dressing room before Jenni could be done showering.

///

Your body pillow was slowly not helping you sleep as you laid awake, hoping to get an early night so you could relax on your off-day. Instead you were laying awake, staring at the ceiling.

Reaching for your phone, you sent Jenni a text.

‘Body pillow has no effect now, it is your fault that I am awake’

Jenni texting back wasn’t something you expected, asking if you wanted her to come over, in Spanish, making you worry that the forward was too tired, but you still texted back your answer.

Throwing the body pillow from the bed to make room, you jumped out of bed as you heard a knock at the door, hurrying over to open it, “this is not a booty call.”

“Could be-”

“Too tired, sorry,” apologising, Jenni had barely entered your place before you were snuggling into her, waddling to where your bedroom was.

Jenni’s arms remained by her sides until you were both under your covers, one arm resting on your lower back, the other cradling the back of your neck as you fell asleep, Jenni following soon after.

///

Jenni woke up to her phone buzzing on your bedside table, but she didn’t make any moves to check it, instead enjoying how peaceful you looked, even as you clung to her with a death grip. Only when her phone began to ring did the forward move to silence it, but her movements elicited a groan from you. The muffled growl of a ‘no!’ telling her not to move too much, your face buried in her neck as you shifted your body further onto her.

"So now you want to be on top of me-" Jenni was cut off as you opened your mouth, but your face was so squished into her neck that opening your mouth felt like you were about to bite her.

“Don’t ruin the moment,” your voice was muffled so you moved your face from Jenni’s neck, not seeing the disappointed pout on her face as you moved to go back to sleep, but your face didn’t press into her neck again.

“Go back to sleep, koala, I am not going anywhere.” Jenni whispered, drawing circles above your pelvic bone again as you murmured a ‘yay’ before being out like a light. 

///

It turned out that Jenni was supposed to meet some of your teammates for breakfast, which was now brunch as she persuaded you to get out of bed and go outside. In the end, it was hunger that persuaded you as you sat eating, Jenni about to as well when Leila realised something.

“So that is why you were not home!” 

Slipping your sunglasses back on, you ignored the teasing as much as you could as you continued to eat, feeling Jenni’s hand comfortingly on your knee as she clowned the others back with jokes and sarcasm, squeezing your knee every once in a while.

Your sunglasses obscured everyone’s view of where you were looking as you sipped your drink, eyes running over Jenni’s tattoos with hidden appreciation. It was only when the others began to talk amongst themselves that you let Jenni remove your sunglasses from your eyes.

“Now you can look at me without those glasses!” she smiled, but you pouted slightly, hanging your sunglasses from your shirt neckline.

“But then everyone can see me looking at you?”

“You look at me?” Jenni was almost thrown off by the seriousness of your tone.

“How could I not? You’re my type… tattoos, funny and height, in your case, tattooed, tall, clown… who accidentally became my body pillow that I sleep better with, I’m sorry about that…” you apologised, resting your hand on Jenni’s hand that was on your knee, until she tangled your fingers with hers.

“Don’t be. I sleep better with my personal blanket, koala.” Jenni replied, smiling as you squeezed her hand gently.

“Sorry about the death grip though…”

“Don’t be, I like it.”

“Yeah, I could tell by the way you stopped breathing for a second this morning… although I did almost bite you, guessing you’re not into biting?” you teased, but Jenni smirked, resting her elbow on the table so she could rest her cheek on her free hand in amusement.

“With you? I could get into it.” Jenni replied, about to lean in but Leila whispering stopped her.

“They know we are still here, yes?”

“Would they hurry up and kiss already? Alexia and Frido are going to win the bet…” was also said but you rolled your eyes, deciding to keep drinking your drink instead as Jenni smirked, wiggling her eyebrows at your teammates, and repeating one of your classic lines.

“In your dreams.”

[daintyshu]

𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐌𝐘 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄

xiv. bitchless hoon (1.5k written)

"hey, i didn't manage to ask you why you left early on wednesday," sunghoon questions you as he wipes down the counter.

you, him and jennie had just finished the lunch crowd at the cafe that friday and you were finally able to breathe. this is why you hate working opening shifts on friday; the crowds just come in all at once, not even letting you warm up just as you clock in.

"wait, how'd you know?" you question back, smiling at a customer leaving the shop, wishing them a good day and to come back. "i have my ways," he wiggles his eyebrows repeatedly at you as a devious smile grew on his lips.

you cross your arms, giving him a pointed look as you tapped your foot impatiently. that seemed to do the trick and he laughs, ruffling your hair despite it being tied up. "i'm kidding, y/nie. i dropped by for a while that night but jay said you left early,"

you give him a dismissive wave of a hand when he raises an eyebrow at you, as if asking for an explanation. "ahh, it was nothing. was feeling a little down so chaeyoung unnie let me go off early and she took me out,"

"like, on a fun day out?" he jokingly asks and you smack him on the shoulder. "i'm kidding, obviously. saw you went on a date with jay too," he proceeds to nudge your shoulders, wiggling his eyebrows at you teasingly while you only roll your eyes. never a dull shift with sunghoon.

"it was NOT a date," you clarified as you topped up the plastic cups while he looked for something to do to keep his hands busy. "jongseong just wanted to cheer me up, so he brought me out too,"

he frowns at this. "what's with them all trying to cheer you up? what happened? i mean, only if you're okay with telling me,"

you pause, contemplating whether this was something significant enough about you to tell him. then again, donghyuck already knew about it too so there wasn't any reason to not tell sunghoon. after all, you were closer with sunghoon than you were with the older boy. so you told him everything.

"you know what? i'm taking you out after work to cheer you up," sunghoon announces after several empty threats of how it's "on sight" if he ever sees heeseung.

"you really don't have to, hoon. all of you didn't have to, i'm really fine, i just didn't expect to see him again after so long," you told him honestly.

well, half-honestly.

it still bothered you that you and heeseung's relationship ended abruptly without your input. but you're happy with how your life is right now so it doesn't really matter anymore.

"so you don't want to go out with me after work?" sunghoon pouts, pretending to sulk. "it's jay, isn't it? that's why you don't love me anymore?" he jokes, clutching his chest as he pretends to dramatically cry.

jennie chose the wrong moment to come out of the pantry as sunghoon's gaze landed on her. "noona! save me from this heartbreak! y/n doesn't love me anymore!"

"she never did in the first place, hoon-ah. now stop fooling around and help me wipe the lightbulbs above the pantry, you're the only one who can reach it," jennie passes him a cleaning cloth and sanitising spray, opting to stay in the bar with you while she makes sunghoon do some cleaning in the back.

you giggle at his antics. never a dull shift with sunghoon.

you remember the first time you met the boy four months ago.

he had been a regular before he applied to work at odd atelier. the pretty iced vanilla latte boy. it's funny how you remember customers by their regular orders rather than the names they'd give you. you couldn't remember names to save your life.

sunghoon would get his daily iced vanilla latte in the morning to-go but gradually he started dining in more often. after a month, he decided to apply to work there and got accepted.

you were tasked to teach him all he had to know as a part-timer when he first joined the team. he seemed cold and standoffish at first but really, he was just a shy guy.

when you got closer to him, he started showing you his chaotic side which you grew to love. you didn't think such a cold-looking guy would be as goofy as he was. it's funny how every guy you befriend turns out to be some kind of chaotic but you love it. you needed that kind of energy in your mundane life.

you didn't know when it began, but as sunghoon grew more comfortable around you, he started getting more flirty.

you can't tell if it's really a joke or not because the way donghyuck does it really does feel like it is but with sunghoon, it doesn't feel so.

if he were being real, you honestly wouldn't mind it at all. he was a good mix of goofy and serious. he knew when to be playful and when to be understanding of a situation. he's pretty good company, too.

"yah! earth to y/n! why are you zoning out?" you feel a smack on the back of your shoulder, causing you to snap out of your daydreaming. "ah, unnie!" you whined, rubbing the spot jennie hit.

"you were zoned out," she states, shrugging her shoulders. "okay but did you have to hit me?" you counter, still rubbing the stinging spot on your shoulder as you pout at the older woman.

she simply laughs and ruffles your hair playfully. everyone who works here have developed this habit towards you it seems. you didn't mind it though, it's only at work anyway.

"i was telling you to bring out some pastries from the back for the pastry case but you weren't listening. what are you thinking about?" she asks curiously, wiping the glass display case while you make your way to the back to grab some cakes and pastries to top up.

you come back out with your hands full of boxes, jennie offering to grab some to lessen the load. "do you ever wonder why hoonie is single?" you ask her, glancing through the small window on the pantry door to see the mentioned boy working hard cleaning.

glancing over at the older woman because she wasn't replying, you were met with her teasing grin and wiggling eyebrows. "why do you ask, dear y/nie?" you gave her an unamused stare back, crossing your arms. you sigh, knowing you won't be able to close the conversation if she doesn't get the answer she wants.

"just," you look over to the pantry door again, this time making eye contact with the boy who winks at you, laughing when you roll your eyes at him.

"he's very good looking, right? and he's fun to be around, he's very caring and always knows how to cheer people up. plus, have you seen the amount of girls that have come up to him here and asked for his socials? he could've accepted anyone, literally anyone but he, own his own accord, chose to be bitchless. all of the girls i've seen him reject are gorgeous gorgeous girls too,"

jennie simply laughs at your little rant, closing the pastry case after she was done. "aren't you the same? like, you're literally the reason our cafe went viral after someone posted a video of you on one of the acoustic nights," the older mentions matter-of-factly. "how many people have visited just to see you since then? how many guys have asked for your number?"

"but that's different! i don't want any of them," you huff, crossing your arms as you pout at the older. jennie snickers at your response, pinching your cheeks as she coos at you sulking. "there's your answer then,"

"what?"

"you wondered why hoon is single despite being very desirable? same reason you are, y/nie. you don't want any of those guys lined up for you and neither does he with those girls," she explains. "he's probably waiting for the girl he wants. no offence, he doesn't look like the type of guy who would make the first move,"

"that's mean," you tell her, despite giggling at the remark. "but i wonder who it is he's waiting for..." you trail off, imagining what your friend would be like if he had a girlfriend.

would he stop those flirty jokes with you? would he still be willing to cheer you up on days when your energy felt off to him? would you have to cut off your friendship out of respect for his relationship? you wonder.

jennie watches in amusement at your serious thinking face. she finds it so precious how oblivious you could be. she wonders why you're thinking of all this right now.

as sunghoon comes out of the pantry to join you two back in front, she watches endearingly at the way you two interact. she doesn't know how everything will play out but one thing she knows is; she's rooting for sunghoon.

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synopsis. in which you work at odd atelier cafe and can only make hearts in your lattes, causing a certain boy to misunderstand your intentions..... then he brings his friends and chaos ensues.

a/n: i can't believe it's been 2 weeks since the last update...i'm slacking fr sorry yall i'm only human 😔 neways this might be a flop update but i'm trynna intro each character and their relation to y/n before any drama!! so bear with me 🫶

taglist (open): @semisemirin1i82 @txtmetonight @ilyjxdz @miniature-tragedy @n1k1mura @t00miee @manooffline @aerivrs @saranghaohoshi @woninluv @moony-mari @nctsshoes2 @sunghoonnsupremacy @mnxnii @lisaswifey @enhy4me2 @en-chantedtomeetyou @enhypenlovre (strikethrough means unable to tag!)

[the-eclectic-wonderer]

Ok. I need to talk about S5E23: The Mangiacavallo Curse Makes a Lousy Wedding Present because it's a) a damn good episode and b) so filled with Blanche/Dorothy (and a good pinch of Golden Wives too) I can feel my gay power level increase minute by minute every time I watch it. Under a cut because I (unsurprisingly) got verbose about it.

First of all: the whole thing with Blanche 'lending' one of her men to Dorothy for the wedding. The concept alone is just -- I've said before, several times, that the Girls treat their men as accessories, and this episode just spells it out.

Dorothy doesn't really want a date per se, she's mostly upset because of social expectations:

"I still don't have a date for Jenny's wedding. My own goddaughter, and I'm gonna show up alone."

She's worried because weddings are events where you typically bring a +1 along, especially if you're closely related (either as family or via friendship) to one of the spouses. She's worried about the social norm! This is a bit of a general thing in the series, especially for Dorothy, I think; there are several instances when she's upset at not having a date for a specific event, rather than not dating in general. Plus, she gets over it fairly quickly! Before Blanche agrees to lend her the judge, she tells Sophia that she's just going to go alone!

Speaking of Blanche, look at how she describes her men! Here's some quotes:

"You can borrow one of my extras. What kind of guy would you like?"

"Oh, Dorothy, come on. Borrow one of my men. One of my many, many, many, many, many, many men!"

"Oh, Dorothy, not Doug! I couldn't possibly. He's on my A-list."

"Oh, Dorothy, let me get you somebody hot off my A-list. Somebody tall, good-looking, goes with everything!"

"Don't you forget, you be careful. This man is on loan from the Blanche Devereaux collection."

I mean -- she might as well be talking about a purse or a pair of shoes! (As a side note: yes, all those lines begin with 'Oh, Dorothy'. I checked.)

Dorothy fully embraces this point of view, too:

"You always do this, Blanche. You always keep all the good guys for yourself and you give us the leftovers."

She complains about Blanche's lack of generosity -- and this might just be my personal opinion, but generosity is usually connected to material things. Once again: she might as well be getting upset because Blanche refuses to let her borrow a purse.

Rose is the only one who's somewhat concerned at not having Miles as a +1, but it seems to me that's essentially because of the 'getting hot at weddings' thing. When she introduces the problem, we get this dialogue between her and Dorothy:

"Miles can't take me to the wedding. He's going to be out of town at a teaching seminar. Now I can't go."

"That shouldn't keep you from going."

"Oh, I have my reasons."

And then she says:

"So now you see why I can't go if Miles is gonna be out of town. I might end up almost going to bed with the caterer again."

It seems to me she's not that upset because of Miles's absence; she would have gone anyway without a care in the world if the event wasn't a wedding. She doesn't necessarily treat Miles like an accessory, but she's not particularly saddened by his absence, either -- just worried about the effect weddings have on her.

And then, with all this established: the toilet scene. When the scene returns on Dorothy keeping Blanche trapped in the toilet, there's already a couple of guests looking at them and whispering among themselves (which isn't strange at all: they're making A Scene™ right there in the ladies' room!). The whole fight has such an incredible Married Couple Quarrel energy:

"Dorothy, let me out of here right now!"

"There's only one way out, Blanche, and I don't think you can hold your breath long enough."

"You're just making a mountain out of a molehill."

"Five years of molehills. They add up."

"I didn't know Doug meant this much to you."

"I'm not talking about Doug, this is about you."

Talking to the small group of guests that gathered at the scene, she then adds:

"She asked me for another chance, I gave it to her. I trusted her. Biggest mistake I ever made."

Tell me those lines aren't the most married thing you've ever heard. I'm almost tempted to make a poll and ask people what they think about this quote; I'm sure at least a good 85% would assume this is being said by someone to their lover (or ex-lover, at least!).

Then the bride (because let's remember, this is all happening at a wedding) appears and likens the situation between Dorothy and Blanche to what's happening between her and the groom -- so we have a clear line drawn between Blanche/Dorothy and a committed romantic relationship. She calls Dorothy 'Aunt Dorothy', as is expected since Dorothy is her godmother, but she also calls Blanche 'Aunt Blanche', because... I don't know, there's no heterosexual explanation for it. Note that this girl invited Dorothy and Sophia to her wedding (no wonder: her godmother and her godmother's mother; they must be close) but she also invited Blanche and Rose, whom she technically has no relation to -- we have to assume they were invited because of their relation to Dorothy (she's possibly close to them too, considering she calls Blanche her 'aunt', but that's still due to their relation to Dorothy, of course). I mean -- would you invite your godmother's roommates to your wedding, as a general rule?

And!! After all this, the whole talking/not talking thing! Dorothy tells Jen:

"Jen, honey, I think you should go and talk to Joey. The best thing to do in any relationship is talk."

She says this right after she found an excuse to speak to Blanche in private and trapped her into a toilet because she wanted to talk:

"Listen, Blanche, we have to talk."

"Not now, Dorothy."

"Suit yourself."

"Dorothy, will you let me out of here?"

"No way, Blanche."

Once they turn to helping Jen and Blanche finally escapes the toilet, Dorothy is understandably upset and refuses to talk to her, and this makes Blanche very upset in turn. I'll let the dialogue speak for me on this one because there's no way I can say it any better:

"Dorothy, I wish you'd talk to me."

"..."

"I really do, 'cause what I need is a good talking-to."

"..."

"I don't care what you say, just so long as you care enough to say it."

"You stink."

"God bless you, Dorothy."

Yeah. Married. Blanche is so relieved and reassured once Dorothy starts talking to her again that she follows the conversation for just a little while after that (just as long as they're talking about Rose) and then immediately zones out again, because she's back in her comfort zone. Dorothy's talking to her! Dorothy forgave her! Everything's fine -- back to your regularly scheduled Blanche Devereaux™ content. (Note that she also pointedly does not dance with Doug after he comes back, even though he's from her A-list. This episode should have ended with a Blanche/Dorothy dance, if only to spite Doug.)

Rose is mostly busy dealing with her own thing in this one, but you all know I love the Golden Wives, so let me point out a couple of things:

Blanche and Dorothy (especially Dorothy) really do take care of Rose at the wedding! ... well, at the beginning of the party, at least. But they do genuinely try to reassure her! It's sweet! "Rose, honey, take it easy. Breathe deeply. It'll be all right." "Don't worry, honey. Nothing to worry about. We're here to look out for you." [...] "We're gonna have to keep an eye on her." "Hmm." We see her flirt with a couple of men during the party, but she only ends up going away with Doug and only while Dorothy and Blanche are having their little moment in the ladies' room, so it seems like they did keep her out of trouble after all! Until they got tangled up in their own thing, that is.

Right after they get out of the ladies' room (i.e., right after Dorothy tells Blanche 'I have nothing to say to you") Dorothy immediately notices that Rose isn't around, and talks to Blanche about it, despite the fact that she's supposedly not talking to her at all.

Blanche manages to keep her attention up as long as she and Dorothy worry about Rose, then gets immediately distracted by a man in the band. This exchange specifically is really touching to me: "Oh, I hope she can forgive us." "She will. That's what she does best." Just -- the complete certainty... my heart...

Blanche is really aggressive to Doug when he comes back! She was using every trick in her book to get him to act as her date earlier on, but as soon as she gets the hint that he took advantage of Rose, she immediately enters Protective Wife Mode™.

This line by Dorothy: "He must really be something." "So is Rose." This line? Said with the most affectionate smile in the world? Yeah. Yeah.

So anyway. I just spent like an hour and a half writing all this down, I love this episode, I adore these ladies and I am going to scream, thank you, goodbye.

[majaloveschris]

I’d say Chris is a legitimate source; if he claims they are together then that’s the fact (whatever his way of statements have been), and it being a contract/stunt is the conjecture. Not the opposite. //

BUT HE HAS NEVER CLAIMED ANYTHING, that's the kicker. Even when he posted the video dumps, no where did he claim to be with her, but rather heart emojis and the year that was. Every word that he said during the SMA contradicted the actions that proceeded into the whole pap walk. Remember how he likes PDA? There is literally no where he has showed an ounce of affection for that girl, even in those videos. They are just cringe stuff that he has done with every random person he knows,just to paint a narrative.. just enough to creat a story but with enough room for deniability. Another little thing that people forget is , People magazine also reached out to sources and NOTHING was CONFIRMED. The same magazine that interviewed him before the public launch and claimed that if he was in a relationship he would say it himself. Just Jared coming out with a story before the dumps that was quickly deleted.

Now if liking posts is a confirmation of relationship then that man has been in a relationship with a lot of women.

My point is, even Chris is not a source. Because he has not said anything about them being together. Yet when he was with Jenny Slate,it was CONFIRMED by HIS people , with Minka it was CONFIRMED by HIS people.

Did anyone confirm that he and Lilly James were together, yet there are photos of them. In fact there is more PDA in those two days photos than in this:

" two year relationship with the love of his life that he will marry and has been married to,or have a house together to be featured in AD" and every other little thing we have heard.

Again creating a story and narrative for a purpose. Basically, a STUNT..

But let's look at his recent activities, when he speaks when events have nothing to do with her. He has said that Dodger is his true partner, just recently at a Walmart event, he said that a dog gives you what no other relationship with a human can and again right before he deactivated, he said how good it feels to be ALONE. I don't know anything about that man or more than what is speculated about him on SM, but that doesn't sound like a man is in a happy and healthy relationship. That doesn't even sound like a man in a happy place at the moment IMO.

Food for thought, didn't anyone notice the timing of all this. The public launch aka pap walk was right on the day of WN series premiere and Chris deactivated right after Netflix released WN to be picked up by another service. What did Simon Barry do on that fateful day of the pap walk, he tweeted, "he could do this all day." He also seemed very proud that WN did so well with little marketing. And just recently,what did he tell his WN minions, that the show has been renewed even though that is clearly a white lie.

Justin's father Facebook post really NEEDED to remind us that the marriage was to "Captain America" not even Chris Evans.

A STUNT. ✨

And the little pause after it. It was so funny!

I don't know if the fact that it wasn't confirmed means something. I think that's usually how it goes with these types of articles: when a "source" talks about something rather than the people involved.

I always loved the scare videos with Scott because they were genuine and funny, but theirs with Alba was neither.

I agree that he doesn't talk about things like being super in love and being in an almost 2-year relationship. I'd get it if they were in a super secret or private relationship; however, they aren't. They did a pap walk, and he's shared several stories about their relationship. I'm not saying he would talk about her or mention her name all the time, but I think he would phrase a lot of things differently.

The fact that he was Captain America had nothing to do with what Justin's father was talking about. We know Chris Evans is dating Alba, and I'm pretty sure people know he played Captain America. It was all for the show.

[coraniaid]

A few more thoughts on Surprise and Innocence.

As a plot device, the retcon that Angel’s curse can be undone if he experiences a moment of “true happiness” is a good one, I think.  The metaphor of Buffy’s boyfriend turning out to be a monster after she sleeps with him is perhaps a little on the nose, but the show handles it pretty well.  (And, despite some criticism I’ve seen, the show seems pretty keen to stress that this isn’t Buffy’s fault.)   I think the scene in Innocence where Buffy tearfully tells a soulless Angel that she loves him, only for him to respond with a flippant “love you too” as he saunters away, is basically the key to understanding every single one of Buffy’s future relationships (and not just the romantic ones either).

And this version of the Angel/Angelus split – where there’s a deliberate ambiguity about the extent to which Angel without a soul is a different person from Angel with a soul – makes a lot more sense than the version of Angelus the spin-off will later settle on (wherein the Angelus personality is so distinct that it even has its own memories).  Beyond anything else, if Angel the vampire with a soul isn’t the same person as Angelus the soulless vampire, what on earth is Angel actually trying to atone for?

That being said, as an actual curse it doesn’t quite make sense.  Who suffers if Angel loses his soul?  Not Angel, who (depending on the metaphysics) now either no longer exists or does exist but loves being evil.  In either case, he’s actually better off, no?  Isn’t he meant to be suffering? The show sort of gestures towards this by having Enyos say that he’s more interested in “vengeance” than justice, but – while this certainly isn’t just – it doesn’t really make sense as vengeance either. 

If Angel losing his soul is meant to be something that hurts Angel, then why was Jenny sent to spy on him and why does Enyos come to stop it happening?  If this is meant to be some sort of vindictive punishment, why are the people who arranged it trying to stop it?  This is something that I think actually works much better later on in Angel’s own show.  When Angel knows he can’t ever risk experiencing happiness, this new version of the curse makes a lot more sense.  The curse ends up forcing Angel to make himself suffer, something it clearly can’t do if it’s something he’s not aware of. 

But I don’t think there’s any suggestion in the show that Angel did know he was risking his soul by sleeping with Buffy, and the metaphorical reading obviously doesn’t work if he did.

(I think the way to fix this would be to position the “moment of true happiness” as an unintended loophole, maybe?  Say that the nature of the curse meant there had to be some way of breaking it, and the people who cast it chose “Angel stops suffering” because that was the one thing they wanted to avoid happening at all costs anyway?  But I don’t think that’s how it’s set up in the show itself)

Other thoughts:

I think this was the point I finally brought in a little to the Cordelia/Xander subplot.  I’m still not convinced it makes sense for Cordelia (yes, the show has previously suggested she finds her current level popularity somewhat hollow and unsatisfying, but we’ve also seen Cordelia date people she seems to like and who wouldn’t threaten her social standing and who also, unlike Xander Harris, occasionally say things to her that aren’t the most hurtful insults they can think of).  

But what starts working here is the way the show ties things back to Willow, and her long-running crush on Xander (compare “I can spend my life waiting for Xander to go out with every other girl in the world until he notices me” with “it just means you’d rather be with someone you hate than be with me”).  The show hasn’t quite moved beyond teasing the Willow/Xander subplot (and it will come back to it again next season), but I think this is the point where it becomes clear that Xander and Willow definitely aren’t going to end up together long term.  And I’m grateful enough that I can gloss over the Cordelia side of things for now (or at least, for a couple more episodes…) 

Speaking of Cordelia: I’m not at all sure if this was intentional – and looking around the internet, I don’t know if it’s a common reading – but I think the show actually suggests that Willow and Xander have known Cordelia since they were all very small.  Well before high school.  In The Dark Age Xander (whose age is given as seventeen in innocence) tells Cordelia “twelve years of you and I’m snapping”.  Which implies he’s basically known her (and Willow, at least as per Grave) since kindergarten, right?.  

I think that’s the closest the show directly addresses the question of when Cordelia and Willow first met, but at the end of next season Willow will say of Harmony that “she picked on me for ten years”.  So I think that the few crumbs we get support the reading that Willow, Xander, Cordelia and Harmony all knew each other in elementary school.

At least, I think that’s the context that the “We Hate Cordelia” Club is meant to be understood.  It doesn’t feel like something that could have been formed at any point in high school. Quite apart from how childish a name it is -- and how it suggests a level of standing up for herself that I don't think we see from Willow in Season 1 -- who apart from Willow and Xander would have joined?  Not Jesse, obviously.

But then, as I’ve mentioned before, the show has a history of inventing characters with long histories with the Scooby Gang from whole cloth for a single episode and then forgetting all about tem.  (Rodney Munsion beating Xander up “every day for five years” back in Inca Mummy Girl springs to mind.)  So I’m probably – well, definitely – reading too much into a couple of lines of dialogue and expecting the show to have a consistent past it never really has. 

[scotianostra]

19th January 1644 saw a Scottish Covenanter army of 20,000 men under the command of Alexander Leslie, 1st Earl of Leven move south into England and their civil war supporting Oliver Crowmell.

Sit doon and get comfy, this will be a lengthy post, for the start of this post has it's roots in The English Civil War it takes us right up to the Jacobite Uprisings and the split in loyalties between King and country.

The 17th-century civil war may seem a very English affair, but that is misleading – it was started and ended by Scots.

We all know a bit about the rise to power of Oliver Cromwell and his New Model Army; the Battles of Worcester and Naseby and Marston Moor that ended with the execution of King Charles I, to me it marked the beginning of the end of the Stuarts, and it all seems a rather English affair, recently, however, historians have preferred to call it ‘The War of Three Kingdoms’, since both Scotland and Ireland were inevitably drawn into the dispute. It is easy to see why the older version prevailed for so long.

To me the internet has helped people, like myself understand history better, we can seek out so many sources so easily, at school, if you were lucky you got a text book with the one version being "gospel" but even on here I have been called out for getting things wrong, well in the eyes of the person calling me out I certainly will concede certain ground, but history as well is how you perceive it, what to put in my posts and what to leave out. I rely on some people to keep me right in some respects, and I can't hold a torch to some peoples knowledge of certain aspects of our history, I take my hat off to the likes of my friends, Marti Morrison, or Roland Obrien whose Jacobite knowledge can put me to shame, these guys live and breath the history, wear the outfits, walk the battlefields and have done for years, mere mortals like me scour the archives piecing together from many sources, like todays post, giving an understanding of events that has been lacking in the classrooms when the super info-highway was still drifting out in space.

Anyway back to the post in hand.

The English story is clear – the extravagant and naïve Charles pitted against the unglamorous and hard-headed Cromwell over a clear point of principle. The Scottish story, however, is much more ambiguous.

Indeed, if the ‘English Civil War’ might broadly be dated from 1640, when Charles I dissolved the ‘Short Parliament’, to 1660, when General Monck restored Charles II to the throne, the ‘Scottish Civil War’ could be said to have run from 1637 to 1744, and the final defeat of the Jacobite cause.

Lets start with simple question: to whom did Charles I surrender in 1646? Not to Fairfax, Essex, Ireton or Cromwell, the leading lights in the English Civil War, but to the Scottish regiment encamped at Newark, led by Alexander Leslie.

Charles, who had of course been born in Scotland, and always had a problem with the Scottish Kirk, who maintained that while the King had authority in matters temporal, they had authority in matters spiritual; and often where one ended and the other began was a point of serious contention. Time and time again I go back to pointing out the Stewart/Stuart, mantra of Devine right of Kings.

James VI as the first King to "rule" over the two Kingdoms of Scotland and England got away with having two forms of worship by not getting too involved with them, Charles however was much more headstrong, his first, and some say biggest mistake was the introduction of his own prayer books on the Scottish Kirk in 1637. It caused a riot, with one woman, Jenny Geddes, purportedly throwing her stool at the minister and shouting ‘daur ye say Mass in my lug?’ They saw it as being to close to the "Popery" of the Catholic church, it led to the drawing up a ‘National Covenant' which was a solemn agreement inaugurated to reject the prayer book and any meddling by the King in their religion. Don't underestimate this agreement a staggering six hundred thousand Scots signed the document, in any age, it stated that as long as the king protected the Presbyterian Church, the Presbyterian Church would protect the king. There was the rub.

Charles, forgetting that the word ‘thrawn’ could have been invented to describe the Scottish Church, sorted refused to sign, leading to the so-called First and Second Bishops’ Wars, the latter ending with Montrose and the veteran of the European wars Alexander Leslie in control of Northumbria and County Durham. Charles had to recall the English Parliament for financial support – the ‘Long Parliament’ – and precipitated his war with them.

Parliament now opened negotiations with the Church. Although there were many mutual areas of agreement, the Church of Scotland held both the Independents and the Puritans at arm’s length.

Nevertheless, Westminster and Edinburgh both signed a successor document to the Covenant, the Solemn League and Covenant, which brought the Scots into the fray on the side of Parliament. Even before this, Montrose had already switched sides, concerned that the Kirk was attempting to usurp the power of the Crown.

While Charles was fighting Cromwell he still held out hope that the Scots could wield and come to his rescue, perhaps this is why he surrendered himself to Leslies army and not the Roundheads. What did for him was English gold. The Scots had been promised much and were financially insecure, so in exchange for their prisoner, the English Parliament paid Scottish debts, Leslie's army had not been paid as promised for allying themselves with Cromwell, with this settled Charles was handed over, eventually to be tried and executed.

The execution of Charles was a turning point. The English had killed the legitimate King of Scots without so much as a by-your-leave. Charles II was proclaimed King of Scots in Edinburgh, and the head of the ‘Engagers’, the Duke of Hamilton, beheaded in London.

Under the Treaty of Breda, Charles II signed the Covenant; an act he did so in supreme bad faith. He needed allies not disputations on theology. Cromwell addressed the General Assembly over the Scots defection, saying: ‘I beseech you, in the bowels in Christ, think it possible ye may be mistaken.’

When the Assembly decided they were not, Cromwell launched a punitive strike against Dunbar, capturing it from Sir David Leslie, ( his brother, Alexander by now aged and retired) beside whom he fought at Marston Moor. Three thousand Scots were killed and 10,000 captured. By the Battle of Inverkeithing, Cromwell had effective control of everywhere south of the Firth of Forth.

But the Scots were intransigent. In the last battle of the ‘English Civil War’, the Battle of Worcester, the majority of the 16,000 strong Royalist force was Scottish. Around 8000 Scottish prisoners were sent as indentured labourers to the West Indies and Canada, starting a relationship with those regions that would have significant influence in later centuries. Leslie was sent to the Tower, and released a decade later on the successful Restoration of Charles II and the death of Cromwell.

The Scots had instigated the war on their insistence that they were religiously and politically different from England. One unforeseen consequence was that Cromwell’s Commonwealth was the first time Scotland and England had the same governance, he is acknowledged as the only an to invade and control all of Scotland, a feat Longshanks, Edward I never quite accomplished.

Charles II did not heed the lessons of what had happened to his father, and his attempts to create ecclesiastical uniformity led to the ‘Killing Time’ between 1680 and 1688. Even more bizarrely, after the English Parliament invited William III to take the crown, in favour of the Catholic King James VI and II, some Covenanters fought for the Stuarts against the new regime. The misery of war and religious schism makes for strange bedfellows indeed.

At the root, perhaps, of the problem was the difference between the Scottish and English experiences of Stuart monarchy. The Stuarts had ruled Scotland since 1371 and England since 1603. They may have been weak, injudicious, opinionated, divisive and profligate kings – but they had been our kings for a much longer time.

[artoodeetootired]

jere doesn’t deserve (all of) the hate he gets

alright, can i just say that although i didn’t read past the first book, i have read TONS of comments and justifications and explanations as to why people think Conrad is better than Jere. That is completely subjective, I get it.

But why are people invalidating Jere’s right to be angry? Literally??? Like, bro, I get you have favs but are u really telling me that the guy can’t even be upset at Belly for what she did to him?

Some people are literally saying how manipulate he was for bringing up his dying mother, and how Conrad was probably gonna break her heart. First, he found out way later than he should have, which gave him less time to process it. Yet, what did he do? Immediately help Beck through it. Second, was he wrong LMAO. He’s seen it happen over and over again with his own feelings for Belly, but never said anything because he knew Belly and Conrad were something of an unbreakable bond. Third, she literally kissed his brother 3 days after an already established relation/situationship with Belly. You’re telling me he was in the wrong here while Conrad was in the grey area that allowed him some sort of immunity for his actions??

Now, let’s move on to whether or not Jere loved Belly before or after she turned prettier. I’m sorry, but Conrad also said that he always saw her as a little kid/sister or some shit as well. Jere said that she was always his best friend. They BOTH found new feelings for her, because that’s literally just how teenagers work. If you want childhood friends to lovers, then you have to expect a switch from FRIENDSHIP to LOVE at some point- and neither of them experienced it BECAUSE she was prettier, but because she was more than just a little kid then.

“No, he was forced to stay with her in that flashback”. YEAH, then he stayed a week more until HE got sick??? I’m not even gonna explicitly detail all the times he’s also backed her up, supported her, been her best friend. The fact that he let her love Conrad was enough proof that he did love her enough to let her go.

Please don’t bring up the books again, because to use reasons from the story’s “future” when the present is still being played out is just bs. We don’t even know what could happen by the end of it all, what with Jenny Han changing loads of details. Was Steven and Shayla/Taylor in the books? No. Was Skye, an extremely annoying hindrance, in the books? No. Was Conrad and Belly doing it for her first time by the fireplace in the books? No.

And I can’t even begin to describe how frustrating it is to see people literally ignore the scene where Conrad visits the house. Like how tf are you just going to let that slide IM CACKLING. Jere, at the table stressing over bills during his senior year. Conrad, appearing out of nowhere to pay a very friendly visit. And, pray tell, what does Conrad do? He performs a confession of his love to his younger brother who he knows had/s feelings for Belly, when Jere was probably thinking he’d rather accept help with the insurance instead. Then off Conrad goes to see his mother without another word, after getting what he wanted.

And also, can I just say how BAD Conrad’s communication skills are? Like fr, my dude had to carry news of Beck’s cancer all on his own. But to me, you don’t lash out at other people and lead two girls on at once because of something you can’t even explain your behaviour for. Believe it or not, the way he acted like an asshole was a product of his inability to open up. And I get it, I totally do ‘cause I and ppl in general handle shit like that sometimes. But the miscommunication is what broke Belly, his brother, his friends, and Laurel multiple times in the first place. If you want to bring up Jere’s “manipulative” behaviour, then you’ll also have to address Conrad’s “misunderstood” behaviour, when it was really just him lashing out on everyone else.

Honestly, to me, Belly really was the problem. But I guess people find that a more provocative topic to accept. Idc who she ends up with, or who people think is better/best. I just went on this crazy rant because I truly think that it’s insane how people have managed to invalidate Jere’s feelings. This isn’t because I’m crazy about the show or the characters, but it’s because it does reflect on other people’s thought processes when they see the conflict of emotions between 3 people who should be listened to. Except that one of them isn’t being heard at all. Why? Because he cheated on her in the book no one knows is going to stay true within the show.

We all know that Jenny Han has made MAJOR plot changes and I am not gonna be dismissed just cause I didn’t read the books. I watched the series, and I am only commenting on what happens in the series. If people keep using this argument instead of the facts WITHIN the series, then maybe some rethinking needs to be done.