#“eleven did me dirty” is THE song

[sophiekarim]

“Papa a Bitch” would free me from Vecna’s curse 😂😂😂😂😭😭

[marleyybluu]

Another Man's Treasure

Oscar Diaz x f!reader

Word count: 6.8k (I am so sorry lmao)

Warnings: 18+, shitty husband, smut, p in v, unprotected (but pls don't be this stupid), creampie, dirty talk, cheating (but is it really if your husband is an ass), flirting, fluff, love at first sight type shit, Spanish/English pet names (pretty lady, hermosa, cariño), limited use of y/n(I literally used it once) idk lmk if I missed any.

(I only mention the first song but the other two are more for the… spicy scene😏)

——

The only escape from reality you had was the small moments of disassociation you had between the screaming of your children and the-

"Are you fucking kidding me?!"

The shouting of your overgrown child of a husband playing his stupid games on his stupid PS5 that you wanted to set on fucking fire. This is not the life you pictured as a stay-at-home mom, yes the piles of dirty laundry were expected, and the mountainous dishes in the sink but you never predicted you'd be doing this alone. Your own mother stayed at home with you and your two brothers but your dad would still help her around the house so that she got the time to kick her feet up and relax.

You never got that.

You were living with this dark cloud over your head and deep regrets in your mind, why did you marry this man? You did think he was the love of your life, three years together before you got married proved your theory but never did you think it was going to end up like this. The amount of work you did was overwhelming, just one look at the number of toys on the floor made tears sting your eyes. You were tired, exhausted, drained and absolutely depleted.

If this was a job, you'd quit, you would take your children and quit. You wanted to so badly but the small hope of him changing clung to you like a piece of lint. You sighed holding your eleven-month-old on your hip while you made him a bottle, anything to keep him from wailing in your ears-- Jesus, half the time you couldn't hear.

"Babe!"

Your eyes rolled, you loathed his voice at this point. "What?"

"Can you pass me a water bottle?"

"Get up and get it, I'm making Malakai a bottle."

He groaned. "For fuck sake, you're in the kitchen already."

Your nostrils flared, and your eye twitched. You wanted to cuss at him, shout at him until your voice box shattered but you kept whatever calm you had left and ignored him. A small hand landed on your nose and you smiled kissing the tiny palm. "I love you too bubba."

He flashed a little smile and your heart sobbed at the fact that your last baby was growing so fast, teeth already emerging from his gums when just months ago he didn't have any. You could never regret your three little creatures, you loved them dearly, so much so you were willing to put up with the man that helped you create them just so they could have a two-parent household but you didn't know how much longer you could take this.

Heavy footsteps trailed inside the kitchen, you could tell he was angry at the fact that he had to pause his little game just to grab some water. He looked over the sink, utterly disgusted by the site in front of him and instead of just keeping his mouth shut or for once volunteering to do them he decided to spit out a sentence that made you want to knock his head off with the glass bottle you were holding; "You need to wash the dishes."

Your blood was boiling, if life was a cartoon you'd have steam coming out of your ears. "Why don't you get off of the game and do them?" You bit.

He cracked open the bottle cap. "Hey, I'm the one that works all week, you just stay home and do nothing."

Nothing? NOTHING!?

That was it.

That was the tip of the iceberg.

Your shoulders dropped and he left the kitchen, there was that ringing in your ears again that came and went every time you zoned out. Ever since you got married you'd felt nothing but unappreciated by him, you quit your job to stay home with your children and not even a thank you, you made sure he had a good meal when he went to work and all you got in return was an "it was okay." And the disgustingly dirty dish tossed right in the sink you'd just emptied. You were at the end of your rope.

You held back your tears and lightly kissed your son on his head handing him his bottle and putting him on a beam bag so he could lay down and drink. You trotted upstairs to check in on your oldest twins who were in their room colouring and getting along for once. Then you headed to the bathroom locking the door behind you, your body sliding down to the floor, you curled up in a ball burying your head between your knees you let out a long and heavy sigh before your river of tears took over.

A cry session your body and mind were so used to. You wailed into the void, muffling your weeps so that your children wouldn't hear you and come asking what was wrong, a question you couldn't answer without them turning on their father and you didn't want to ruin that relationship they had with him.

You were just so tired.

--

As night fell you remained mute when it came to your husband, whatever he had to say you didn't respond to, you were just happy that it was Sunday and soon he'd be out of your face for a few hours.

With the kids all asleep you were in the kitchen on FaceTime with your older brother. "The kids are great, they're sleeping." You conversed.

"And how have you been?"

There was no hiding how you felt when it came to your siblings, you were the baby and the only girl so when you were hurt they knew and they'd do whatever they could to fix it. "I'm okay... I'll be okay." You reassured. He was the only one who knew some small details about what you were going through and you begged him not to say anything not even to your mother until you figured out how to deal with everything yourself.

"Hey, listen, Jordyn is going on vacation next week, she's hitting Fiji, and I think you should go with her."

You squinched up your face, you didn't have a problem with your brother's wife, always so thankful for the sister you never got but what about your kids? Could you even trust that man to take over your duties even for a day?

As if he read your mind he continued. "I mean it'll be summer break next week, and they can stay by me if you want. I just, I really think you need time away from life. I want to see my little sister happy."

You pouted, it really touched your heart how concerned he was. A vacation would be wonderful, it was all you could dream of after the kids were born, you loved them but you just wanted to be by yourself.

"I'll think about it."

"Well, don't think too hard." He joked. "Whatever. I gotta get their lunches together, I'll call you when I make my decision."

"Sounds good, night."

"Night."

The call ended and you finished packing the twins' lunch placing the bags on the only empty spot on the counter. You huffed at the dishes and your husband's words replayed in your head. Nothing. You do absolutely nothing.

The longer you stared a vengeful plan began to brew. You were about to show him what doing nothing meant.

--

You decided you were going on that trip, Jordyn was excited and your brother was happy with your choice. The week flew by quickly, you kept up your normal appearance of keeping the house clean and to your husband's liking and by each day you grew more distant from him not like he cared in the first place.

On the last day of school you explained to the twins that you were taking a trip with Aunty Jordyn and they, unfortunately, couldn't come but they'd be staying with their uncle and they'd loved that man to death so they were excited either way. Your house was a mess and for once you smiled at it, you'd been letting everything pile up for the last two days, packing the clean clothes they did have in advance. The only explanation you gave your husband was that they were all staying by your brother for the week but you didn't mention that you weren't coming back.

You were leaving tonight and there would be no stopping you. You loaded the van with their stuff and yours and hollered for them to get their little butts in the car. "Last one in the car has stinky feet!" You laughed at the building volume of stomping feet coming across the hall and down the stairs, your twins were out and your youngest sat on your hip giggling at their antics. You happily wrote a short note.

Bye.

That's it.

You showered your baby in kisses and grabbed your keys before heading out the door, you locked it and made your way to the car, buckling in your baby and making sure the other two were in securely. You closed the door and first time in a long time you felt a weight off your shoulders, you smiled in satisfaction at how you left the house knowing you were not going to answer a single phone call from that man.

--

Jordyn squealed. "Ugh! I am so excited I don't even know what to do with myself!" You laughed at her enthusiasm as you put your hair up in a ponytail. It was day 2 of your trip and you were living life, you couldn't remember the last time you felt this relaxed. Now, of course, you missed your children it'd been the longest you'd ever been apart from them so you were a bit clingy with the calls but it was all understandable.

You two were hitting the beach today and you were a bit nervous, nobody had seen your body in almost a year not even your husband but Jordyn had persuaded you to find your behind in a two-piece bikini and you argued that you'd wear it as long as you could wear a cover-up so it was a deal. You looked yourself over in the mirror, you felt oddly confident. You looked fucking good. Three kids did your body right.

"You sure you want that cover-up?" She teased watching you admire yourself. "Hmm," You angled your lower half so you could check out your bum, how plump it had become over the years. "Maybe not."

She winked. "That's my girl."

You two grabbed what you needed and headed down to the beach which was right in front of the hotel you were staying at. The slight wind brushed against the water sending a cool and comforting breeze your way, your ears wiggled at the sound of the waves, and the giggles of other vacationers enjoying their time like you were.

The cushiony sand had greeted your toes after overflowing onto your sandals. You two travelled until you found a decent spot, it was close to the bar and the body of water. You set up your area as best as you could but you were in a battle with the beach umbrella Jordyn insisted on bringing. She watched with her hand covering her mouth to camouflage her laughter. "Okay, you know what, I'll handle this and you go handle us some drinks."

You childishly stuck out your tongue and strutted your way over to the bar, you hopped on an available stool. The bartender noticed you asking for you to just give him a minute. "No worries." You responded. You went on your phone and checked the many pictures your brother sent of your children, you smiled and a bit of sadness tugged at your heart. You missed your babies dearly.

The number of messages went up and it could only be one person. You promised you wouldn't look but you just had to, you swiped and tapped on your husband's name.

Where the fuck are you!?

The house is a fucking mess!

I'm not cleaning up, I hope you know that.

Baby, come on, we can work this out. Please.

You scoffed at the last message and put your phone down casually being greeted by the bartender who watched your various emotions while you went through your phone. "Everything's okay?"

Oh. Wow.

He presented a sweet smile, your eyes slightly widening at the sight in front of you. He was handsome, scratch that, he was fine as fuck. The shaved head didn't usually work on a lot of men but it did him justice, the scattered tattoos on his pretty and tanned skin, his broad shoulders that looked like they were made for legs to be hooked on and not to mention his big arms that looked like they could hold you snug and tight all through the night.

"Uh, yeah, everything's... everything is good." You stammered, a queasy feeling crept through you as it settled in your lower stomach. Butterflies? But you couldn't even remember what that felt like in order to come to that conclusion.

"Good to know. What can I get you, ma?"

You shuddered at his voice. He could talk to you all day.

"One Long Island, and one Piña Colada please."

He nodded. "Starting off slow I see." He chuckled. "Eh, we're on vacation, gotta soak it all up before we go back."

"I see," He multitasked making your drinks and conversing. "And when does the pretty lady go back?"

You blushed, should you even tell this literal stranger when you're actually leaving? But he felt... comfortable, easy to talk to and it's not like you'd ever see him again. "End of the week."

"Oh, you have plenty of time to get shit-faced." He encouraged. He'd finished your order and placed the liquored-down drinks in front of you. "Don't worry about paying yeah? It's on the house. Enjoy your vacation pretty lady."

"Y/n... you could just call me Y/n."

Not like you wanted him to, pretty lady was working just fine

"Nice to meet you. Oscar... Diaz." He winked. "Thanks, for the drinks."

"Anytime, pretty lady."

Your legs felt wonky as you walked away, and your breathing quickened. You did your best to walk back to Jordyn without looking back, if you did you were pretty sure you'd fall, just clumsy as fuck. "Girl, that man was watching you walk away." She whispered. "Stop." You poked, shoving her drink toward her. "Oh please, his eyes were on you." Jordyn gazed over to the bar, "He's still staring."

You casually whipped your head around and sucked your teeth when you noticed he wasn't. You glared at her. She snickered taking a sip from her Long Island. "Makes good drinks too."

You sighed, "Shut up."

The topic was silenced, you downed a few more drinks but sent Jordyn to get them instead while you swam around in the cooling water, floating around enjoying the peace the water brought you. But you couldn't help but occasionally look over to the bar. Oscar Diaz... nice name. Nice face. Cute little moustache that sat above his lips and a goatee that sat below. Pretty rosy pink lips...

Your eyes darted away. You're married.

Are you though?

You swam back up to the beach, it was beginning to get dark and the patrons on the beach became scarce. You wrapped yourself in a towel and collected anything Jordyn hadn't packed up yet. "You want one more drink before they close up? Maybe your new friend will allow it." She teased. You took off your flip-flop and threw it at her but your reaction only made her laugh.

A familiar voice was heard behind you. "So she's beautiful and she's got good aim, better watch out." 

You quietly gasped. "Hi... Oscar."

"Hey, uhm, listen I own a club not too far from here and you know it's a decent hangout for the locals... and the visitors." He winked. "Wanted to know if you two would like to come check it out?"

You fought back a smile. "We could try." You answer without even thinking. "I'll take that," He reached into his pocket handing you a folded piece of paper, you assumed had the address of the place he owned. Your fingers brushed against his, prickles felt like they were forming on your skin and those weird feelings returned in your lower stomach.

He sent you another wink and headed back off to the bar to close up.

--

Of course, Jordyn was down to go. You groaned internally as you two pulled up to a crowded place, looking up at the illuminated sign reading Cloud 9. Hmm, cute. You pulled down your dress as it rose up with each step, your heels clicking against the cold ground, the music booming so loud you could feel your body vibrating the closer you got to the entrance, flashing lights of different colours beamed through the door every time it opened blinding whoever entered. "Where's your friend?" Jordyn asked. "Have patience, I just told him we got here."

"Mhm." She sassed. Your heart thumped in your ears, it pounded against your chest. What were you doing? It was a question you asked yourself from the moment you got back to your room and began to get ready for tonight. You shook off your thoughts and shifted your eyes over to a black door that slowly began to open. "Hey, over here." Oscar waved you two over and you followed. "What's going on, pretty lady?... And pretty lady's friend."

Jordyn nodded at him as a silent greeting, she was just here to observe your anxious behaviour for her entertainment. "Come on," You followed him through a dimly lit hallway and up a flight of stairs, your nerves building and sudden regret forming in your bones until you entered a brighter atmosphere, the loud music returning to your eardrums. He had led you two to a section that only had a few people, you could assume it was the VIP section.

"Anything you two want to drink just let me know and I got you."

Jordyn raised her eyebrows at the tempting bottle of unopened champagne sitting in a bucket of ice. Oscar chuckled granting her permission to open it, she shimmied her shoulders in excitement and got to work. You shook your head at her, you travelled over to the balcony and looks down at all the patrons having the time of their lives, a few familiar faces from the resort and others that weren't recognizable which you could only assume were locals.

Oscar found his place beside you and nudged your shoulder with his. "You want anything to drink?"

"No, not yet, I'm good."

He slowly nodded. "So, what are you doing in Fiji? Besides vacationing."

You huffed, "I just needed time to myself... to get away from shit."

"I hear that." You could just feel those sweet and curious brown eyes boring into the side of your head, you poked the inside of your cheek with your tongue and looked down at your shoes, just anything to not make eye contact with him. You were shy, you were never shy not even with your husband when you first met him. It's like this was a new feeling, you were queasy and nervous and it honestly felt good in a weird way-- it felt good to not be comfortable, to get all flustered over someone like a schoolgirl crush.

"You really own this place?"

He scrunched up his face. "Half own, I guess. My brother and I came here for an escape just like you and we ended up staying. Now, we own Cloud Nine and I work down at the resort once in a while."

"Oh, you're a busy man."

"I try to be." Oscar chuckled. He was so easy to talk to, why was he so easy to talk to?

You found yourself moving a bit closer. "What were you trying to escape from?"

"Life. I wasn't happy where I was living and I wanted better but... given the circumstances, we just couldn't get it. So I threw a dart on a map, so to speak, it landed on Fiji and we've been here ever since."

"Where are you from then?"

"Originally born in Mexico, we moved to LA, and then out here."

"Would you ever go back to the States?" You asked finally looking up at him knowing he hadn't taken his eyes off you all night. He leaned forward, officially entering your bubble. "If I had a good enough reason... yeah."

You looked up at him through your lashes and softly smiled, meanwhile, Jordyn sat on the couch sipping and shaking her head at the sight in front of her. She would playfully scold you in the morning but tonight she'd let you have your harmless fun.

As the party went on you were getting a bit bored being upstairs so you grabbed your girl and headed downstairs to where the crowd was and of course Oscar was right behind you, he felt a sense of protection over you two tonight given this was your first time out here and inside his establishment. You had found enough confidence to start dancing around, a little two-step from left to right to get you going, but soon the constant flow of drinks Jordyn handed you helped you loosen out of that as well.

The DJ was beginning to play all the oldies, and that was your specialty. Oscar watched in adornment as you killed every lyric, every adlib and every beat to whichever song came on. It had transitioned from a bit of Hip-hop to something a lot slower.

  "Right now, we're gonna slow it down a bit, so grab your lovers and take your time."

The lights changed to blue and a recognizable first note had you close your eyes.

Mmm ooooh, my my my my my my my babyyy ouuuuuu

Jordyn had already found herself dancing with a random woman. She looked widened her eyes at you and quickly flicked them over to Oscar, trying her best to encourage you to make your move. But he was faster. You felt yourself being pulled into his warm embrace, his strong chest against your exposed back, his hands carefully snaking around your waist as if he was worried about you rejecting his touch but you gladly welcomed it.

Melting into his hold you two swayed side to side, he leaned down comfortably nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck. You were lost in the vibes of Keith Sweat's Right and a Wrong Way. You reached back hooking your arm around his neck lightly scratching his scalp with your nails. "You smell so good, mamita." He whispered, it was a miracle that you heard him. Your lips parted slightly as you felt his warm breath tickle your skin. His swift hands ran up your sides resting right under your breasts and gliding back down to your hips.

A thumping began between your thighs, now that was something you hadn't felt in a long time. You put that feeling to the side no matter how hard it was to do so. The rest of the night it felt like all the songs were targeted for just you two, you hadn't eased up on him once-- always in close proximity to him. He touched you in simple ways, ways you hadn't been touched in almost a year.

It was getting super late, almost three in the morning and you couldn't recall the last time you were out like this, it'd give you hell when you woke up but it was worth it. You and Jordyn rode back to the resort with Oscar, she exited the car first thanking him for the night out and wobbling her way inside. You giggled watching her walk away, "I should get in there before she tries the key on the wrong room."

But you didn't want to leave him.

And he didn't want to leave you.

"Thanks for tonight, I had a lot of fun."

"No problem, anything to help a pretty lady escape." He bit his lip. "What are your plans for tomorrow?"

"Recovering," You laughed, "But other than that nothing."

"Can I see you again?"

You gulped and nodded. "Mhm."

He laid out his palm your eyebrows furrowed as you rested yours on top of his, he brought the back of your hand to his lips and placed such a gentle kiss on your skin. "Goodnight, mamita."

You wanted to scream. You left the car putting a little swing in your hips as you walked away, you looked over your shoulder and sent him a cute little wave before disappearing behind the doors.

— —

And that's how you spent the rest of your trip, shamelessly flirting with Oscar. You got to know each other a lot more, when you weren't spending time with Jordyn you were with him. Giggling like an airhead and blushing red like Rudolph's nose.

Jordyn constantly teases you about the crush you'd seem to quickly develop.

"Is this stupid?" You ask shoving your face in the pillow. This all felt too good to be fucking true, a guy that you met only four days ago was treating you so much better than the man you married four years ago. Oscar had flowers for you at the front desk of the resort every morning and sent you the sweetest messages throughout the day about how he was thinking of you, how he caught a glimpse of you today and you looked stunning, calling you the prettiest woman he'd ever seen step on this island.

You convinced yourself they were all lies, sugarcoating you like he probably did every woman but who were you fooling? Certainly not yourself and certainly not Jordyn.

"It's not."

"I'm married." You argued tiredly to which she fake yawned. "I don't see a ring on that finger and I don't see that man treating you any better than Oscar has. Just saying."

The fingers on your right hand brushed your vacant ring finger, you'd taken it off the minute you got on the plane, you didn't want to be reminded of him on this trip at all and yet there was that piece in the back of your mind that reached out to him. Checking his messages once in a while but never responding, he was giving you the attention you wanted but it didn't feel right.

The fact that you had to spontaneously leave to get even a fraction of what you were asking for was bullshit. Downright bullshit.

You groaned sitting up the pads of your fingers now rubbing your temples, tired and stressed. The trip was almost over and you dreaded going back to that house that was no longer a home. He'd sent you pictures that he'd finally cleaned up but you had a feeling once you returned home things would go back to the way they were and you did not want that.

"I think your brother would agree with me, you've smiled more in these past few days than I've seen back home, I mean you two are always so distant when you come over. And don't think I don't hear your rants when you and your brother are on the phone. Now I don't condone cheating but, hey, I didn't see shit."

You sighed checking your phone for any recent texts from your husband but Jordyn caught wind of what you were doing and snatched your device. "Enough with him. Flirt and have fun before you have to go back to normalcy."

You heard your phone buzz in her hand, she looked at the message for you. "Speaking of, someone is downstairs."

You felt nauseous. "Where are you two going anyway?"

"Down to the beach, said he has to restock the bar... and I wanted to spend time with him so I offered to help."

"Mhm." She winked. You grabbed your phone back from her grasp and told her you'd be back soon. You left your room, entered the elevator and headed downstairs where Oscar was happily waiting for you. "Hola querida." He become more comfortable speaking Spanish around you, especially when he noticed how the little nicknames got a reaction out of you.

"Hi," Oscar noticed the shaky tone in your response and made note of it You had comfortably slipped your hand inside his, he immediately hooked his fingers in the spaces of yours. Like he was your puzzle piece.

You two headed down to the decent-sized Hut, your eyes widened at the number of boxes sitting on the sand. "Don't worry, I got the heavy bottles, you just get the small ones." He reassured pressing a kiss to the top of your head. You loved those, so innocent and sweet, although you wish sometimes he'd kiss you on your lips or you had to courage to kiss his. "Think I can't handle the big boxes?" You scoffed walking inside after him.

"I think you can, I just don't think my pretty lady needs to."

My pretty lady.

ugh!

With music playing in the background you two got to work, "Do you still think about running your own restaurant?" You asked sparking a conversation, you squatted down to the lower shelves and propped the glass bottles in an organized fashion, eyes tearing through the material of your sundress and you could feel them. "I do, yeah. Why?"

You bit your lip. "Would it still be down here?"

There was a beat of silence. "Most likely."

Another pause in the moment aside from your soft humming to the music. "You excited to see your kids?" He asked. You smiled at the mere thought of them. "I am. My three little headaches." Oscar found himself next to you, leaning against the counter, you stopped your movements and looked up-- he had one arm folded over the other and a bit of a scowl on his face.

"What?" You innocently question standing up to match his eye line, well more-like chest line. "Nothing, just trying to take my time to remember this face." He reached for your cheek, his fingers ghosting your flesh. "You flirt like this with all the girls here?"

A question that was supposed to come out jokingly but you were a bit serious. "Nah," You squinted at him watching his lips press together, his chest stuttering as he held back a laugh. "You asshole, I knew it." A dramatic hand to your heart as you playfully pouted at him and fake cried. Oscar's arms enveloped you in their warmth, you attempted to push him off but it was no use, your feet suddenly off the ground, you squealed and giggled as he switched positions with you plopping you on top of the counter.

He placed his palms flat on the side of your thighs while he was positioned comfortably between them. "To be fair, hermosa, it is kind of my job. But believe me when I say I've never spent any time with them. And I've definitely never brought them back here after hours." His thumb and pointer finger pinching your chin. "Just you, princesa."

You melted, your whole body could be seen physically slumping in his hold. His eyes sparkled while he looked at you, the crinkles in his eyes appearing as he smirked. Before you could comprehend anything his lips brushed yours, your head suddenly becoming foggy with the inappropriate images of him that you'd conjured up these past few days.

His nimble fingers danced along the hem of your dress, a rush of heat passing over you as he hiked it up further exposing more of your flesh.

This was no longer a want... it was a need.

Your hands landed right under his jaw as you pulled him in crashing your lips onto his and he happily reciprocated your energy, his hands wandered up to your hips tugging you closer to him as if it were possible. Your lips moved as one, tongues passing by in the heat of the moment, the only thing on your mind was him and you wanted it to remain so for as long as possible.

Tingles scattered around your body, both of you flushed with lust and arousal. Your hands travelled to the bottom of his shirt quietly begging for him to take it off, you needed to feel his skin, thankfully he got the message-- pulling away for a brief moment to remove his top. Your eyes glazed over his lightly tanned skin, little scars here and there you can only presume he earned before he got here.

You smiled at the strewed ink on his torso, chest and ribs. "What are you thinking about?" He inquired. You looked back up into his brown iris'. "I wish I had met you first." You mumbled drawing him back down, this kiss was a lot more passionate and slow unlike the first.

Oscar's hands gently tugged at the neckline of your dress, your breasts spilling over and his calloused hands finding them. You softly moaned against his lips, your nipples hardening from the cool breeze and his fondling. He pinched and rolled them between his fingers, your head tipped back and his teeth nipped at the column of your neck.

You were forming a small pool in your panties at his teasing. His tongue grazed your neck continuously licking and sucking a specific spot that was getting a squirming reaction out of you. You felt his devilish smile, he knew what he was doing to you and he liked it.

His hands moved from torturing your swollen breasts back down to your thighs shoving your dress up until your little black panties were on display. You sat on the edge of the counter making it a bit easier for him to remove them, the cool air hitting your soaking slit.

"Touch me, please, touch me." You whined not caring about how desperate and needy you sounded. Oscar listened to your pleas and dipped one hand between your legs, his fingers quickly finding your slick folds. You shuddered as he glided two fingers up and down, dipping them inside you once in a while.

You were soaking, you were throbbing, and you just wanted him inside you where he fucking belonged. He slowly plunged his fingers inside, you clench around them happy to have something pleasuring you. Your eyes are closed and your legs spread further for him, nails digging into his shoulder blade hopefully leaving little indents.

He pumped them in and out of you with the squidgy noise of your wetness to follow. "Yes... oh yes, like that."

Oscar felt himself twitch under his boxers using his other hand to undo his belt and pulled down his materials. His dick is hard and his tip a rosy pink turning cherry red oozing with a bit of cream, his hips buckled once his hand brushed over it-- equally as desperate as you were. Your erotic moans were like music to his ears, so much sexier than he could've pictured. You whined once he removed them your hole flexing around nothing as you caught your breath.

Oscar hooked your legs over his arms spreading you to his desire, you reached between your bodies firmly (but not too tight) grasping his length and guiding it to your entrance, his swollen head prodding inside you as the rest of him followed.

Your jaw slacked at the feeling of him deliciously stretching you out, he was so thick and it felt so nice. Oscar croaked out a moan while burying himself deep inside your warmth-- coating his dick with your sticky walls, so slick and welcoming that he didn't want to move.

You caressed the back of his neck as he pressed another kiss on yours, trailing it up the side and finally landing on your mouth. You giggled into the kiss, Oscar pulled back with a questioning look. "I can't tell the last time I felt like this." You mumbled under your breath but he heard you. He didn't want you to leave, hell if you didn't have kids he'd probably try to convince you to move out here with him.

He didn't say anything in response just pulled out and pushed back in. "Fuck." You both moaned.

His head dipped back down, nibbling on your sweet skin.

You whimpered through every tantalizing stroke he gave you, his tip poking right at your hot spot and you knew you wouldn't last. "You feel so good!" A sentence broken by little gasps. Oscar grunted, violently gripping your thighs as he pounded you, pulling the filthiest sounds from your pretty little throat. So loud and erotic he was sure they could hear you back at the resort.

Your eyes squeeze in absolute bliss, your head hazy from the constant pleasure you received, quickly feeling a sensation in your lower belly a wave of heat threatening to take over. Your palm lay flat on his back while the other gripped the edge of the counter.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck! Oscar!"

He lifted you off the counter a bit, relentlessly slamming into you now. Your high getting closer and closer. "I can, shit, I can feel you mamita. So fucking tight."

Your toes curled and your eyes rolled. "Baby, ohhh, I need to..."

Oscar smiled. "You wanna cum for me, baby? Come, mi amor, all of it."

His words tipped you off the edge, your back arched and your body trembled from the shockwaves of your orgasm, he held you closely revelling in your pulsating pussy dripping down his shaft.

He quickly brought you off the countertop, your wobbly legs barely holding your support. He turned you around, you barely recovered from the first position.

You were sensitive and extra wet just how he wanted you. You flinched when he pressed himself against your entrance once again, pushing in ever so carefully. "Fuck... you."

He laughed menacingly, his hands squeezing your hips. "That's what I'm doin' pretty lady."

You wanted to give him a smart-ass answer but it was cut short when he began to move. Your nipples were hard against the surface, you rested your head down and whined. "So fucking good."

"Yeah?" He chuckled spanking you. He was enjoying the pornographic sounds that you provided, all going straight to his dick.

He wrapped his arm around your waist pulling you up against him, back pressed on his chest, his warm breath in your ear. "Can't get enough of you I swear." He admitted.

He poked and prodded against that familiar spot, tears of overwhelming pleasure threatening to spill when he pinched your nipple. "Fuck! I'm gonna miss you, so fucking much."

"You gonna think about me?"

"Yes! Oh!"

You felt him twitch inside you, you smiled egging him on. "I won't stop thinking about you, when I touch myself I'll picture it's you-"

"Fuck, cariño,"

"Ou, you're the only one I want inside me."

You convulsed around him feeling another orgasm quickly building and getting ready to fall apart. A few more thrusts and Oscar held himself still inside you, your body shivering at the warm cream he just spilled inside you. His high triggering yours. You reached behind hooking your arm around his now sweaty neck.

The sound of the wind against the water and the waves crashing describe exactly how you felt right now.

"Oh... my god." You said breathlessly.

"You're okay?" He asked with a laugh. You giggled tipping your head back on to his shoulder. "Better than okay."

He sighed kissing your back. "I meant it..." You said.

"What?"

"I'm gonna miss you."

He smiled sheepishly. "I'll miss you too."

--

Those moments replayed in your head constantly, it was the only thing getting you by once you came back home. You two still talked every day, called and FaceTimed but it wasn't enough. You would stare at the prices of tickets and sigh, you couldn't afford to go back right now.

Your life was the same, unloved and unappreciated, despite the embarrassingly desperate messages your husband had sent when you were on your trip. You stared at another pile of dishes, your shoulder sinking with exhaustion. With your two older ones at school and your son almost an hour into his nap you decided to just relax. You clicked on Netflix and attempted to finish Bridgerton's, Queen Charlotte.

Your eyelids felt heavy, sleep threatened to take over but the doorbell had them shoot open. It wasn't just one ring it was multiple and it was annoying so you assumed it was your brother. You groaned trudging to the door. You swung it open aggressively, ready to give him a piece of your mind. "You're going to wake-"

There he was. Standing in front of you, on your doorstep... at your house. "O-Oscar..." You poked his chest to see if he was really there. "Said I'd come back when I have a good reason." Your eyes softened, your arms reaching for him. His lips immediately find yours. "I," kiss, "fucking," kiss "missed you."

Your legs wrapped around his waist as he stepped inside closing the door. He carried you over to the couch and plopped you on the cushions. You laughed, your mood immediately changing with him around. "Jordyn told you where I lived didn't she?"

He nodded. You rolled your eyes. "Of course."

"Not happy to see me?"

You pulled him down for another kiss.

"Beyond happy."

I was going to wait until the weekend to post this but I am a little too excited to get this out.

Shoutout to my girl @darqchilddaydreamz for her input on a few things and her encouragement. Holdin it down ✊🏾

if you liked this fic feel free to like this fic, comments and reblogs are appreciated.

Alsooooo thank you for 800 followers, yall cool as fuck thanks for fucking with me and my antics.

Peace and love see you in the next one✌🏾

🏷: @darqchilddaydreamz @skyesthebomb @realhotgurlshit

[elliesbelle]

nobody compares to you

chapter 10

pairing: ellie x reader

synopsis: you're in your junior year of college and at a party, you run into the girl who broke your heart: ellie williams. despite the time it took to reset your life, will you risk a broken heart again for her?

content warnings: modern college au, cursing, angst, descriptions of alcohol, straight men eww, unwanted advances, reader is implied to be shorter than both abby and ellie (if you think you're not, let's just pretend for a line or two for the sake of storytelling lol), descriptions of sexual harassment, descriptions of physical violence, minors do not interact

word count: 5.5k

chapters: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen

series masterlist

my masterlist

i have a ko-if if you like my work so much that you feel compelled to tip me ♡︎

the "nobody compares to you" spotify playlist

featuring the equal creatures song "waiting in the wings"

Friday night came a little too quickly for your liking. After much consideration, you’d settled on a pink bomber jacket with a white corset top and black leggings for your outing at the Bow and Arrow. You contemplate wearing your usual black boots, but you decide for tonight to give your feet a rest from being covered with painful blisters. While you meticulously add finishing touches to your makeup, your phone buzzes furiously on your bathroom counter. You tap it to reveal a text from Abby.

You allow yourself a tiny smile at Abby’s banter before setting your phone back down. 

After you decide that you’re satisfied with your appearance, you spray yourself with hints of a freesia perfume Tara had gifted you for your birthday last year. Normally, you’d wear your signature lavender fragrance, but you’d figured that even tiny advances outside of your comfort zone were a good, healthy first step to moving forward with your life. You wonder silently if Abby would notice and like it. 

You spend the next couple of minutes pacing all around your living room, occasionally bouncing up and down on your tiptoes in sheer nervousness. When you hear three gentle knocks on your front door, your heart jumps out of your chest. You breathe in deeply from between pursed, painted lips, just the way your old therapist taught you, before striding over to anxiously turn the doorknob and reveal Abby waiting expectantly. 

She was wearing a brown, button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up over her muscled forearms and the top two buttons undone. Her dirty blonde hair was in her usual tight braid and fell down her back. She has her hands tucked into the front pockets of her black slacks and upon laying eyes on you, her face breaks out in a wide smile. 

“Well, good evening, pretty lady,” She greets you. “You look very nice tonight.” 

“You’re looking pretty suave yourself,” You reply, ignoring the rising heat in your cheeks. 

Abby smirks. 

“You ready to go?” She asks. 

“Mhmm,” You murmur, reaching for your purse & keys from the entryway table before closing and locking your front door behind you. “Lead the way, Miss Anderson.” 

You and Abby chat about your respective days on the way to the Bow and Arrow. You take the bus part-way, sitting next to her towards the back. It isn’t lost on you the way Abby’s hand twitches almost expectantly to hold yours, but you can’t summon enough courage in the moment to welcome the action. Though your body yearned for the physical intimacy, something else inside didn’t feel right just yet. However, you did at least allow yourself to take Abby’s hand for a few, short moments when she helped you out of your seat, and then again when she helped you hop off of the bus. 

The sun had almost entirely set by now, your shadows mainly illuminated by the lampposts and lights from the nearby shops and restaurants along the street. After several minutes of skipping next to Abby, you start to see the vague outline of the Bow and Arrow from a distance. Your fingers start to nervously fidget and you feel yourself chewing the inside of your lip in apprehensive anticipation. 

Making up an excuse to turn around and go home right now would be simple enough, though a little sudden and impolite. For the past day, you’d been trying to focus diligently on your schoolwork and classes so as not to dwell too far on what tonight could bring. However, the reality was starting to set in and your hands became clammier with every tentative step you took towards your destination. Perhaps it was a preemptively good idea not to take Abby’s hand earlier. 

You turn towards Abby, who hasn’t noticed your apparent restlessness. She looks completely at ease, confident as she always was. She oozes of enthusiasm, clearly looking forward to the night out. You sigh discreetly, resolving to at least make an effort to live it up, even just for a few hours. You make sure not to let your eyes wander too far towards the familiar, dark alleyway next to the bar. 

When reaching the entrance, you’d already pulled out your ID to flash at the bouncer, who lazily glances at it before handing it back to you and nodding you forward. The bouncer doesn’t card Abby and instead, gets up from their stool to clasp her hand and pat her back. 

“Yo, what’s up, Anderson?” The bouncer says in welcome. 

“Hey, Cam,” Abby replies. “Didn’t know you were working tonight.” 

“We’re not all doctors, man. Gotta pay those bills somehow.” 

“Not a doctor yet, dude.” Abby chuckles. 

“Yeah, yeah,” The bouncer waves her off nonchalantly. “You go enjoy your night.” 

You stand there and watch the interaction in both awkwardness and admiration. Abby really did know everyone around, even outside of campus. 

“Come on,” Abby motions you to follow her. “I think I see some of my friends here already.” 

You nod your head and trail after her timidly. 

Your wary eyes explore the bar, slowly taking in how it’s changed since the last time you’d visited. They’d added another TV among the line-up against one of the walls, and there were numerous amounts of low-lit string lights now hanging from the ceiling. You recognize a couple of the bartenders working tonight, in addition to a few more who seemed fairly new. They’d hung up a large version of the original rainbow Pride flag by a window in the front right next to the blue-pink-and-white transgender one. But even with these few new changes, the place looks generally the same. You secretly wish it didn’t, afraid that the daunting familiarity might trigger some unpleasant memories. 

Abby leads you towards a group of people gathered around one of the wall-mounted television screens where a Nintendo 64 was hooked up to. Three of them were engaged in an intense game of Mario Kart, all yelling at each other over both the race course music and a SZA song currently blasting through the bar’s speakers. Their spectating friends were heckling genially and cheering them on as the race ended with whichever player competing as Yoshi finishing in first place. 

“That’s how it’s done, bitches!” A guy who you recognize as Abby’s friend Jordan from the other day proclaims in triumph. 

“Whatever, asshole. You only won ‘cause I slipped on a banana peel during the second lap.” A girl wearing a black leather jacket to his left complains. 

“Excuses, excuses,” Jordan waves off, shaking his head mockingly. “Sounds like a serious skill issue to me.” 

“Leah, you better get your man right now before I beat his ass.” 

As you and Abby approach the group, one of her friends leaning against the wall looks up from the bickering to meet Abby’s gaze. 

“Yo, Abs, finally!” He says, beckoning her over. He was a tall, beefy man with his black hair tied up in a man bun and his face covered with a full beard. You knew he was one of Abby’s close friends, but you couldn’t remember which one he was. 

“You missed me that much, Alvarez?” Abby taunts, nudging him in the shoulder before grasping his outreached hand in greeting. 

“Cocky asshole,” Her friend chuckles. “Please save me from the torture of watching Jordan and Nora bitch at each other over this game all night.” 

“Why’d you even let them near this again after the last time we were here?” 

Abby and her friend jest for a moment or two before you’re eventually acknowledged. 

“So anyway, who’s this?” He asks. 

“Oh, right—” Abby says apologetically before introducing you. 

“Nice to meet you,” Her friend responds. “Manny. Have we met before?” 

“I’m not sure, honestly,” You admit. “I haven’t really been the most social or noticeable person of late.” 

“Pretty girl like you? Nah, I’m sure that’s not true.” Manny remarks boldly. 

You freeze at his unwanted flattery, which Abby doesn’t notice. You wonder internally what the hell her obviously and painfully straight guy friend was doing at this lesbian bar. 

Abby proceeds to acquaint you with the rest of her friend group: Jordan, Leah, Nora, Nick, and Jay. Jordan, Nora, and Jay were the three holding the controllers connected to the video game console, each either saying hello or nodding towards you in friendly greeting. The guy Nick who wore a black beanie raised his can of beer towards your direction when Abby introduced him before uttering a simple “wassup” to you. Next to Jordan is a girl with long black hair tied back in a low ponytail. Abby introduces her as Leah, after which she smiles sweetly at you. 

After she’s named all her friends, Abby turns towards you. 

“Wanna grab a drink?” She questions. 

“Yes, please.” You reply gratefully. 

You follow her to the semi-crowded bar where she settles on a somehow unoccupied barstool, you taking a seat on the one next to her. 

“What would you like, pretty girl?” Abby asks. 

“Umm, vodka cranberry, maybe?” You say. 

Abby smiles and nods before raising her hand to grab the attention of a bartender. After a few moments, she’s able to flag one down. 

“Can I get a vodka cranberry and a blue motorcycle?” She yells over the music, pulling out her wallet and handing over her credit card. “And start a tab?” 

“No worries, Abby,” The bartender smiles, taking her card. “Light ice on the motorcycle?” 

“Please.” 

The bartender nods as they swipe Abby’s card on the POS system before handing it back to her and walking to the side to prepare your drinks. 

“So you come here a whole lot, huh?” You remark as you both wait. 

“What makes you say that?” Abby asks, turning her body to face you better. 

“Everyone around here seems to know who you are.” 

“Nah, I’m just that cool and hot and popular that just about everyone knows my name anywhere I go.” Abby teases arrogantly. 

You laugh, rolling your eyes at her cockiness. 

“You are so full of yourself, Miss Anderson.” 

“Anything to make you laugh, pretty girl.” 

You and Abby banter for a minute or two before your respective drinks are placed in front of you, the bartender additionally handing you each a napkin. 

“Okay, so what the hell did you order?” You inquire of Abby, eyeing her turquoise-coloured beverage. 

“You’ve never had a blue motorcycle before?” 

“Hey, I’m a simple gal; I know only like, four or five different names of basic alcohol. Two of which are vodka.” 

Abby throws her head back, laughing boisterously. 

“Oh, man, are you really that much of a grandma?” She teases you. 

“Absolutely,” You joke. “I just shape-shifted for tonight to give the appearance of a 20-something-year-old college student so as not to be judged for my wild, party animal habits.” 

“God, you are so nerdy,” Abby chuckles. “Good thing you’re really cute.” 

You roll your eyes at her once more before taking a sip of your drink. 

“How’s your very basic and boring vodka cranberry?” Abby quips. 

“Oh, fuck off,” You giggle. “How’s your weird, little smurf drink?” 

“Extremely delicious, thank you so much for asking.” She responds. “Want a taste?” 

You grimace. 

“What!” Abby exclaims, chuckling. 

“I’m not exactly the most adventurous when it comes to what I put in my body.” 

“Well, there’s a first time for everything.” Abby offers, sliding over her blue drink towards your direction. 

“What the hell is even in it?” 

“Oh, just try it, you fucking wimp!” 

You whine in hesitation before bringing the cup up to your pursed lips, taking the most minuscule of sips. 

“Oh, come on!” Abby complains as you place the drink back down. “That was barely fucking anything!” 

“You wanted me to drink it, so I drank it!” 

“Chug it like a fucking man!” 

“Are you trying to get me drunk tonight, Miss Anderson?” 

“Drink it.” Abby tauntingly asserts. 

You purse your lips once more before relenting to take a much bigger gulp from the cup. As you slam the drink back down onto the bar and slide it back towards Abby, you scowl at the mixture of different flavours staining the surface of your tongue. 

“What the hell did you just fucking poison me with?” You grumble, your mouth salivating in disgust. 

“Calm down, you big baby, it’s just some basic liquor with a bit of Blue Curaçao mixed in.” Abby chuckles. “You know, rum, tequila, gin.” 

“Oh god, tequila?” You anxiously chuckle. “Well, get ready for just about anything to happen tonight.” 

“Oh?” 

“Tequila is my sworn enemy and weakness.” You admit. “Never know what’s gonna happen when I’ve got that shit in my system.” 

“Is that so?” Abby asks, placing her elbows on the bar and her chin on top of her interlocked hands. “I’m very much intrigued to know more.” 

“I’m sure you are.” You say, taking a generous sip from your own drink. 

“Any other weaknesses that you care to share with the class?” She coaxes. 

You lean in close enough for her to hear you whisper pointedly, “I guess you’ll just have to find out for yourself, Miss Anderson.” 

As the night goes by gradually and the more intoxicated you get, the more at ease you begin to feel. Abby’s friends eventually reveal that a local band was going to be playing a few songs live on the rooftop dancefloor later on, and you all liquor up in case they turn out to be an amateur disaster. 

Though they weren’t exactly your crowd, Abby’s friend group was generally amiable and sociable. She made sense amongst them, all of them having established a repartee with her and not being intimidated like a lot of people were. You didn’t care much for her guy friends, who were slightly crude & vulgar and all of whom you could easily tell were straight and who you felt had no place being in a lesbian bar. But with the rest, you generally got along well with. 

You piece together that the nice girl Leah is Jordan’s girlfriend from the way they stuck to each other’s side as much as possible. She was friendly, always including you in the conversations and acknowledging when you spoke.

Often standing beside her was Jay, who Abby at some point quietly whispers to you is her best friend. Next to Abby, she was the most outwardly lesbian-looking one in the group. She wore a sports cap backwards over her long, straight black hair and a grey hoodie underneath an old, dishevelled jean jacket. Her fingers were decorated with several silver rings, and you saw hints of tattoos whenever she would stretch her arms out and cause her sleeves to ride up slightly. Her rather short stature was dwarfed by her rambunctious character, often making you giggle at her drunken jabs at straight people. 

The girl Nora was who aroused the most curiosity from you out of the whole friend group. She was slim, athletic-looking, and very beautiful. Her dark, kinky hair was worn in a tight, high bun, apart from a few ringlets that fell effortlessly down the sides of her face. She wore a tight, black leather jacket that hugged her form nicely. From both her physical appearance and disposition, she gave off the vibe of the beautiful, mysterious love interest to the main character in a romantic indie film. She seemed to have this easy, welcoming banter with everyone, especially Abby. You wonder to yourself if there was something there between them before realizing that it was none of your business. 

You were surprised at how much of a good time you were having. Abby was by your side for most of the night, often nudging your shoulder playfully, explaining references, or whispering flirty comments in your ear. She paid for both of your drinks, to which you reprimanded her for the entire time, even up until she closed out her tab when you’d both had enough to drink. You were enjoying yourself to the point where you’d almost forgotten the significance this bar held for you. 

A little while before the promised local band were set to make their appearance, another friend of Abby’s belatedly joined the group. 

A gust of cold, autumn wind blew in unkindly from the outside when the front door of the bar opened to receive another patron. Your eyes unwittingly wander towards the movement, suddenly widening when they fall on the face of the familiar newcomer. 

Your ex-girlfriend Adriana strides into the bar, scanning the place for her friends. Your rattled and petrified state is short-lived when Jordan spots her as well and hails her over. 

“Yo! Adriana! Over here!” He calls. 

As Abby and the rest of her friends greet her and playfully berate her for her tardiness, you shrink behind the group as you attempt to compose yourself. Though it had ended amicably between you two, it had still been several years since you’d actually come face-to-face with Adriana. You’d never established a friendship with her afterwards despite it all, still feeling too much guilt for hooking up with her friend almost immediately after your breakup. 

Adriana leisurely makes her way through the group, greeting each one jovially. After she laughed at an inside joke Nora had uttered to her, you concede silently that you couldn’t avoid being seen by her any further, not without resorting to running to the bathroom and hiding for the rest of the night. You slowly step out behind Abby’s tall, burly figure, attempting not to draw attention to yourself and trying to ease back into the situation naturally. 

After a few moments, Adriana’s eyes fall on you. You see the recognition slowly setting in by the expression on her face and once you can tell that she’s realized who you were, she gives you a small smile. She doesn’t say anything to you and continues to engage in conversation with others, but you feel a little less awkwardness after you return her smile. Though your chest still feels a bit tight from the tension, you’re slightly more relieved and at ease knowing that Adriana still kept her word after all these years of having no ill will towards you. 

Several minutes after Adriana’s arrival, you saw other patrons starting to head towards the rooftop, and your group eventually followed suit. Once you reach the next floor, you see a small stage where a few instruments were already in place and a couple of band members were setting up for the show. Your group chatters amongst themselves as you all wait patiently. 

Abby taps your shoulder at one point to let you know she was heading back down to use the restroom for a second. You giggle and tell her she didn’t need to let you know, to which she rolls her eyes humorously and promises she won’t be gone for too long. As she walks away, you realize that on her other side was Adriana and that you were now stuck standing side-by-side with each other. 

“H-hey, Adriana.” You say, giving her a slightly uncomfortable smile. 

“Hey. Didn’t know I was gonna see you here tonight.” She responds lightheartedly. 

“Yeah, Abby invited me out.” You explain. 

“Oh, I see. I didn’t know that you two still talked.” 

“Honestly, we reconnected only recently.” 

“Ahh, I see.” 

There was a moment or two of silence where you were unsure of how to proceed with the conversation. Luckily, Adriana seemed comfortable enough to continue speaking. 

“So how have you been since we last saw each other?” She asks you. 

“Oh, umm,” You begin slowly. You didn’t feel the most comfortable sharing the traumatic shit show your life has been the past two years with your ex-girlfriend, so you settle for a simple “same old, same old” at the moment. 

“That’s good.” She replies. 

“How about you?” 

“Swamped as fuck with all my courses. I honestly wasn’t gonna come out tonight ‘cause I was busy as hell trying to get some work done. That’s why I was late. But my partner is actually in the band that’s performing tonight, and I wanted to be supportive.” 

“Oh, that’s really sweet of you. I’m sure they’ll appreciate you being here.” 

“Just wanna be a good and loyal girlfriend, that’s all.” 

Another lull follows. Adriana seems perfectly calm and content with the silence, but you continue to struggle internally with overdue guilt. You decide that dealing with the discomfort for the rest of the night wasn’t worth it. 

“Hey, uhh,” You start. “By the way, I’m sorry about how things went down between us. You know, how we ended and all.” 

“Hey, ancient history.” She assures. “It was honestly fun while it lasted, but I still think it was for the best.” 

“Still, I honestly do still regret how I was back then.” 

“Nah, don’t be so hard on yourself. I don’t think it would have worked out regardless.” 

“Yeah, I guess so.” You hesitantly agree. “Probably should have put in more effort on my part, though.” 

“I don’t really think that was the case,” Adriana says. “It was just sort of obvious at one point that you were just way into someone else so much more than you were into me.” 

You cringe. 

Damn. Was I that bad at hiding how much I liked Abby back then? Sorry for being such a shitty girlfriend, Adriana… 

“Was I that obvious?” You ask remorsefully, grimacing. 

“A little,” Adriana chuckles. “But it’s okay. She was obviously more your type than I was.” 

“You think?” 

“I mean, I think Ellie Williams is a lot of girls’ type, at least around here.” 

Everything around you freezes immediately as you feel your heart come to a stop. Your throat closes up at the same time that your hands grow cold and clammy. 

E-Ellie? 

Before you’re able to wrench yourself from your petrified state, Adriana speaks again. 

“Oh, I think I see my partner up there. I’m gonna move up closer, but I’ll meet up with you guys later on, okay?” 

She glances at you for half a second to give a short farewell smile before walking towards the stage where another band member with an electric guitar slung around their shoulders has joined the others. 

You remain suspended in the moment Adriana had left you behind with. The rest of Abby’s friend group was busy drunkenly conversing with one another to notice your near-comatose state. A deafening ringing resonates in your ears, the sounds of the expectant crowd and the tuning of instruments completely drowned out. 

Ellie… 

Your eyes wander towards the middle of the dancefloor that is currently occupied by unfamiliar audience members. Without warning, you’re suddenly and unwillingly ripped back into your memories. 

“Look, I’m really not interested!” You yelled over the music blaring from the DJ station on the stage. “I’m sorry!” 

“Oh, come on,” A woman at least ten years your senior griped. “We’re just dancing! Doesn’t have to mean anything!” 

You attempted to tug her hands away that were clutching your hips far too intimately, but her grip was tight and unrelenting. 

“Please, just leave me alone!” You implored the handsy stranger. 

“Don’t be like that now!” She exclaims. “Let’s just see where this takes us and—” 

Her sentence was cut short by a sudden fist in the air colliding with her face. Even over the loud bass drops, you could hear a crunch that you were almost sure was the sound of the woman’s nose being broken. 

“What the FUCK, you fucking cunt!” She screamed. 

You looked over at your saviour assailant to see an outraged Ellie. 

“You like harassing innocent girls, bitch?” Ellie spat. “Don’t know how to keep your hands to yourself? Well, it seems like I can’t either.” 

You saw Ellie winding up to attack once more, and you quickly grabbed her right arm before she could move any further. 

“Ellie! Ellie, it’s okay, I’m fine! It’s not that—” 

“This bitch thinks she can do whatever the fuck she wants to you!” Ellie hissed towards the stranger who was slowly retreating into the crowd, cowering at Ellie’s growing fury. 

“It’s okay, I’m not hurt!” 

“It’s not fucking okay!” 

“Ellie, baby, please, let’s just move—” 

The rest of your sentence was cut off when Ellie angrily marched off towards the staircase leading back down to the main floor of the bar. 

You nearly tripped over your high-heeled boots trying to run after her. 

“Ellie!” 

A firm hand on your shoulder transports you back to the present. You jump and look up to see Abby has returned, your hazy eyes meeting her blue ones. 

“You good?” Abby asks. 

“Oh, um, yeah, sorry.” You utter. “Just spaced out there for a second.” 

Abby chuckles and says, “Already lost without me even after a few minutes, pretty girl?” 

You give her flirty joke a half-hearted smile before turning towards the stage, realizing that the band is about to play. 

They start out with their own rendition of Paramore’s “All I Wanted,” and you note to yourself that they were actually quite good. But as they progress through the song, you find yourself unable to fully concentrate on their performance. 

Ellie… 

Abby and her friends cheer and yell in support as the music comes to a momentary end. You barely register the lead singer introducing their next song, an original of theirs called “Waiting in the Wings.” 

You feel Abby move closer towards you, her body radiating heat onto you. At this sudden contact, you force yourself to be more present in the moment and attempt to push all thoughts of Ellie out of your mind. 

The song begins in a minor key, starting off slow as the lead singer begins to croon. 

🎶 There’s a million people in this room who want me more than you // There’s a million people who want me more than you 

There’s no one in this world who loves you like I do // There’s no one in this world who loves you like I do 🎶 

You watch as the crowd of people nod along to the song, some already preemptively whooping. 

🎶 Alone in a crowded room, I wish I was with you // Whether I’m here or there, it doesn’t matter to you 

But you don’t know what you have ‘til it leaves you // You don’t know what you have until it leaves you 🎶 

You suddenly feel one of Abby’s arms wrapping around your waist, pulling you in closer to her. 

🎶 There’s a line of people waitin’ for this to fall through // There’s a line of people waitin’ for me to leave you 

So please, baby, love me like I love you 🎶 

You can feel Abby’s piercing blue eyes gazing at your face, expectantly and determinedly. 

🎶 Someone here wants me, they want me more than you // Someone here wants me, they want me more than you 

There’s someone here who wants me, they want me more than you // There’s someone here who wants me, they want me more than you 🎶 

Despite this aching feeling bubbling in your stomach, you will yourself to meet Abby’s stare. 

🎶 There’s a million people in this room who want me more than you // There’s a million people who want me more than you 

There’s no one in this world who loves you like I do // There’s no one in this world who loves you like I do 🎶 

Abby begins to lower her face, her lips nearly touching yours. Her breath tickles your cheeks before you suddenly pull away from her embrace. 

The crowd is distracted as the song ends, applauding and sounding off in response. As their cheering eventually dies down, you watch as Abby’s face falls a little and an expression of slight regret is painted across her features. 

“O-oh, oh my god, Abby, I’m so sorry,” You quickly explain. “I didn’t mean to pull away like that; I swear to god, you just surprised me, that’s all.” 

You knew that it was all quickly strewn lies streaming from your lips, but you didn’t want to ruin Abby’s night by making her feel guilty. You pray that she believes your feeble excuses, and it thankfully seems that she does. 

“Serves me right for trying to sneak a kiss from you out of nowhere,” She says, smirking lightly. “I’ll do better next time.” 

“It’s okay, it’s just the tequila,” You laugh shakily. “Even just a few sips of it kind of makes my emotions a wild card.” 

“Well, you did warn me earlier,” Abby remarks, smiling. “No tequila next time; got it.” 

You chuckle nervously, biting the inside of your cheek. 

Abby begins to say something when Nora suddenly grabs her attention. 

“Oh my god, Abs, that’s the girl I was telling you about before,” Nora exclaims, pointing in a vague direction where it was indistinguishable who she was referring to. “See with the long ponytail?” 

“Holy shit, where?” Abby asks distractedly, looking away from you and towards where Nora's gesturing. 

Seeing an opportunity, you place your hand lightly on Abby’s arm before saying, “Just gonna run down to the restroom for a quick second, okay?” 

Abby turns back towards you and asks, “Do you want me to come with?” 

You muster enough bravado to jokingly say, “Believe it or not, I actually know how to pee all on my own like a big girl.” 

“Alright, alright,” Abby chuckles. “Hurry back.” 

You give her a noncommittal smile before weaving your way out of the crowd and towards the staircase. 

The bar’s gender-neutral restrooms were your first choice in brief sanctuary, but that plan was immediately foiled when you see the long line leading towards it. You sigh and resort to walking out the front door of the bar to catch your breath outside instead. 

Though it was much later in the night, the weekend guaranteed plenty of college students noisily roaming the streets of the downtown area. Wanting not to be disturbed, you reluctantly turn into the dingy alleyway to the left of the Bow and Arrow. 

A couple of people pass through the dark street, but you feel safe positioning yourself underneath the closest streetlamp as none of them lingered for too long. 

Sighing as you lean against the cold, stone wall of the next-door building, you look up at the lamp post you’d chosen as your temporary companion. You place a hand on its cool, metal base, remembering the last time you stood underneath its dim luminescence. 

“Why, Ellie?” You asked her. “Why’d you take it to that extreme?” 

Ellie’s eyes bore into you, the unspoken truth threatening to overflow from the ocean green. 

“You know why.” She said softly. 

“I—” You began, your lips trembling in hesitation. 

“You do, don’t you?” Ellie whispers. 

You don’t respond. Without thought or consideration, you find your body pressed up against Ellie’s, your mouth instinctively finding that of her own. 

The moment your lips met hers, you knew you never wanted to kiss any other lips but hers again. 

Every knowing and deliberate look, every inside joke, every accidental brush of your hands led up to this exact moment. And yet nothing could have prepared you for the bliss, the euphoria of finally kissing Ellie. Her strong, muscular arms wrapped around your waist, nearly lifting you off of the ground to pull you closer. You surrendered to your body’s instinct, almost as if fate was guiding it. 

The meaning of life laid behind Ellie’s lips, and what other choice did you have but to fervently search for it? 

You didn’t remember when you’d wrapped your arms around Ellie’s neck, only realizing you had done so when you found your fingers clutching at her auburn hair so firmly that her half-bun updo threatened to come undone. The more Ellie moaned into you, the tighter your grip on her hair became. 

You’d both forgotten where you were and how you’d gotten there. You just knew that you were no longer standing in that dark alleyway next to the Bow and Arrow. You were suddenly in this completely separate universe, a vast yet secret galaxy that consisted only of you and Ellie. It belonged to nobody else but you two. Nothing else mattered anymore, only you and Ellie and your little infinity. 

But you didn’t exist there anymore. It’s two years later, and you no longer live in that bubble of romance and fantasy. 

You step away from the wall, staring up at the clear, black sky. You try but fail desperately not to find the intricate patterns of Ellie’s freckles replicated in the constellations above. 

That universe of yours and Ellie’s was no longer within your grasp. It’s a place you hadn’t allowed yourself to visit for an eternity. This present moment, lonely and nostalgic, is the closest you can find to it. It was like a narrow, cruel window that allowed only a glimpse at the heaven you once knew. 

You sigh. Reluctantly tearing your eyes away from Ellie’s celestial clones, you bid farewell to your brief, ill-lit hideout and exit back to the main sidewalk. You make your way once more towards the front door of the Bow and Arrow, knowing that you would make Abby worry if you lingered too long outside of the bar.

author’s notes:

it's here it's here, it's finally here. can y'all believe i've really written TEN whole chapters of this fucking series? the word count is literally like, 40k. what the hell!

as mentioned and linked above, i created a playlist for this series if you wanna check it out! it's all songs that are either mentioned or included in the series, in addition to songs that i feel match the vibe of the story! i will continue to add to it as we progress (and if you pay attention, i may add some songs preemptively right before publishing a chapter that may have to do with that specific chapter)

again, if you lowkey recognize the lesbian bar i very, very loosely based the bow and arrow on, no you don't

jay is lowkey inspired by my irl ex-girlfriend adriana's friends back in college who had a similar physical description and i was lowkey more attracted to than adriana herself oops

the song in this chapter is by the band called equal creatures where my very good friend laurie is the lead singer! if you love me, please check them out!

sorry to make the creep hitting on the reader in the flashback a woman, but sexual harassment is not gender exclusive and i wanted to showcase that as well.

the line "the moment your lips met hers, you knew you never wanted to kiss any other lips but hers again" is heavily inspired by valerie's speech from the "v for vendetta" movie (if you haven't seen the movie, even if you have no intentions of actually watching it, please watch this scene, it's so fucking moving and it's one of my all-time favourite scenes in cinematic history, no joke)! the line is said at the 2-minute mark!

reader and ellie's first kiss is also heavily inspired by my first kiss with my ex (it was romantic as hell, ask me one day to tell y'all how it happened)

taglist: @lonelyfooryouonly, @elliesinterlude, @sawaagyapong, @peppesgirl, @iconsoft, @maybeidohaveadhd, @ellieswifee, @valiantllamapersonpony-blog, @nil-eena, @echostinn

@uraesthete, @softbunlvr, @cherriesxinthespring, @amitycat, @thefishymissy, @yevheniiaaaa, @machetegirl109, @bertandfearnie, @ximtiredx, @efam

@elliesnumber1gf, @digit4lslut, @tayyyystan, @emothurman, @livvy-2000, @abigaillovestoread, @gold-dustwomxn, @liabadoobee, @yuckyfucky, @qtefolleunpez

@libr4sonsa, @17luv, @robinismywifee, @villainousbear, @ashlynnnnnnnn15, @scarlettadore, @vianna99, @g0n3girls, @totheblood, @embermdk

@awyunh, @kenz-ee, @marvelwomen-simp, @eleactric, @simpforellie, @omgidksblog, @anxiouso, @nyrastar, @lillysbigwilly, @hopeless-y

@elliesbabygirl, @alexpritch, @thestarsanctuary, @aethelwyneleigh27, @cass00x, @mulan-but-gay, @carmellie, @destielcore, @tfuuka, @elliewilliamsmissingfingerss

@sagestuffing, @ewwitsbella, @igoferalforelliewilliams, @miaelliesgfxoxo, @saturnvalentine, @elysiagyaru, @asteroidzzzn, @gay4jinx, @97cityy, @joliettes

@p1llowthoughtss, @ellieslegalwife, @aouiaa, @lez-zuha, @ineffablefics, @peepshake, @lil-elliesgf

[hwaightme]

Use me (part 1)

THIS IS 18+ ONLY MINORS DNI FOR HALAZIA'S SAKE (nsfw tags under the cut) (masterlist)

🌌 pairing: nonidol!mingi x afab!reader 🌌 genre: smut, angst, emotions 🌌 summary: You had a routine. Every Friday night, you would meet with your friends to hit the clubs, looking for fun. It was easy, it was emotionless, it was carefree. But what will happen when your usual wingmen are not around, and you only have your shy friend, Song Mingi to keep you company under the neon lights? 🌌 wordcount: 9.7k 🌌 warnings/tags: language, alcohol, intoxication, indications of past bad relationship experiences, not believing in love, emotional suppression, some of them want to use you, some of them want to get used by you... 🌌 taglist: @layzfeelit @honey-lemon-goose here's the drop 🌌 a/n: Hello there! This is my first attempt at smut, so please do be warned. Hope you enjoy, MINORS DNI, nsfw tags and content under the cut. (note: song referenced is BTBT by B.I)

🌌 nsfw tags: sub!mingi, dom!reader, mingi is a pretty princess, pet names, degradation(mingi receiving), cunnilingus, protection IS USED, one night stand energy, mistress, a lot of dirty talk, teasing, denial, overstimulation.

You were the centre of the universe. A modern-day Venus, swaying your delicious hips in time to the music, arms in the air spelling seduction. The earth-shattering bass was resetting your intoxicated heart like a defibrillator. The kaleidoscopic haze was surrounding you and embracing you like the sweetest hit of anaesthesia right before you went under. Nothing existed except you and the gazes that were scanning you, devouring every inch of your body as you made the dance floor your bitch once again.

It was all but a blur, just how you liked it.

The neon was your weekly escape, something of a routine that you had established with a couple of your closest friends: Wooyoung and San. You three were the lives of any party, igniting the atmosphere and not letting the scalding hot flame die out until you said so. And even then, in the hearts of all those lucky enough to witness your miraculous, dizzying passion would linger the burning remains of an unforgettable night.

Over time, your trio had established ground rules and fool-proof strategies for how to get the most out of any night out. From the elaborate preparations, dressing to the elegant elevens but ready to offer just the right amount of sleaze if need be. To the selections of drinks that give just the right buzz without letting you lose your head. To your personal favourite – the complex tango of aiding one another to capture the next beauty and wring their everything dry until they knew nothing except you, Wooyoung or San. All to experience the satisfaction of hearing another heart break the next morning.

This was your idea of love – a hit every Friday night, a fuck with no strings attached. If what drove them wild was for you to call them your beloved - you did not care. Things said in the night died a small death and turned to ghosts in the morning. Remaining in the afterglow. At least you did not have to remember their name. Their bodies also faded from your memory quickly enough. So, you came back, again, and again. In search of a wondrous, lust-filled temporary high.

It was the same tonight. Same club, same throngs of bodies glistening in sweat under the strobe lights, just belonging to different people. The DJ had recognised you, so he changed the set to play a couple more of your favourite songs. His wolfish gaze revealing a lot more than he wanted. Oh, how simple all these people were. And how easy they were to wrap around your finger. If only you had the same drive today. But San’s girlfriend, well now ex-girlfriend, decided that today, of all days of the week, was just right to break up with him, and Wooyoung being his roommate could not leave the blubbering dejected mess alone.

No amount of convincing could coax the two out of hiding in their newly renamed ‘bachelor’ pad. Not wanting to let the two buzzkills completely destroy your energy, you still tugged on your best dress, and strutted in, head held high, hair in captivating locks. There was something truly devilish about you, and you were normally not afraid to use it to your advantage. But there was something different about tonight. Probably because you had to settle for the company of another one of your friends. Someone a lot more demure, for the lack of a better word.

Even though it was a six-foot-tall man with a toned physique and the most attractive hands that you were talking about, you could not help but think of him as a pretty little princess. He was just so untainted, so harmless and prey-like. You could feel his nervousness whenever you approached. His fluttering eyelashes, a quick, shy bite of the lip as he attempted to conjure up a response to whatever you asked. This was Song Mingi. A friend who you had no idea how you made, and why he stuck around still.

He had just appeared one day, an acquaintance you had met through one of those closest to you back in university. Funnily enough, it was the mutual friend that you had ceased to speak to. Mingi was doing a different major, had a different lifestyle, behaved differently, even interpreted things differently, but he had been accepted into the group, nonetheless. Probably because one of your friends had an undeniable thirst for him. Not that he had ever noticed though.

Mingi had always been like that. A gentle creature. A ball of cuteness. If your whole friend group had ever sat together, it was always as though there was one soft, fluffy cloud amidst hurricanes, tornados and thunderstorms. Not a single drop of rain on anyone’s parade. He had the desire to please, and would always volunteer to do errands for others, even if it was so far out of his way it was foolish to do so.

He had stopped once you had explained to him that others were using him. Including your own friends. You had pointed out that he had the power to refuse, and that they were not going to admonish him, as a matter of fact, they would not particularly care. Mingi had taken your words as gospel, and since then, had taken to treating you like his saviour of sorts. Or at least that was how you had initially seen it.

First thing he had done for you after you had merely pointed out the obvious was gotten you your go-to order at the café near campus. How he knew or had found out – you never managed to pry out of him. Then there had been the ‘accidental’ (read: intentional, because Mingi looked like he had been loitering in that corridor for a weirdly long time) run ins during your transits from one lecture hall to another, so that he could walk with you to your class.

The attention had been a bit much at first, but you had grown to accept it as usual ‘Mingi behaviour’. After all, he was the princess, the fluffy cloud, the ray of sunshine. That had to be just how he was. And as such, you had never taken him seriously. A couple of your friends had pointed out that maybe he was trying to make advances, but you shut that down rapidly by reminding them that you had no desire to love, nor could you see anyone wanting to love you.

You had never seen that side of your life be so peachy. It was almost as if you had been born into heartbreak and were nurtured by it. The antithesis to love was where you had comfortably resided for so long, and only stepped out to reach for comrades in misery. That was how you had found your people. Your chaos. These amazing idiots with whom you could share everything, and they would accept you for the idiot that you were. And having someone from the other side, from so-called ‘paradise’, trying to trace your steps and meet you halfway – it felt wrong. It was wrong. It was not what you had written out for yourself in your own blood and conviction after you had seen and felt too much. You made a decision and turned it into an aspect of your identity. Like some people were awfully co-dependent, or mentioned their significant other in every sentence, you were proudly solo. Unaffected by that nonsense.

It was not meant for you, that whole ‘written in the stars’, sappy romance, soulmates bullshit. All of that was mere theory. A concept invented by some people who had no idea how reality worked. Your reality was all about giving into carnal pleasures if you needed to relieve some stress or craved some intimacy. The emotional satisfaction came from being with your crew. Your collection of people who were ride or die. As time had shown, even that could not last forever. At least you still had San and Wooyoung. The two who had you had instantly clicked with.

The two who were currently sitting at home, with San probably watching some guilty pleasure drama and sobbing into a plushie while Wooyoung had likely made his killer dakgaejang for the ultimate comfort. Thereby officially abandoning you and leaving you to your own devices. Well, almost. Tonight had to be the night when you had all agreed to invite Mingi along after a few months of his stagnancy in that department. Your trio wanted to show him how to unwind and have a good time. But now that responsibility fell solely to you, and you could not help but feel a little awkward. No matter how hard you tried, you could not get the man to loosen up. And in turn, he was ruining all plans you had in finding yourself a little fun.

With the glares he inadvertently sent every potential midnight suitor who approached you, Mingi was acting every bit a pouting, jealous boyfriend. This had only gotten worse after he had a couple of drinks. His eyes were only ever following you. Tracing your curves as you grinded against yet another ‘possibility’, trying to see where it could go. But that stare. It would not leave neither your body, nor your consciousness. From your position on the dance floor, you could only barely make out his form, leaning, arms crossed, against a black pillar. But it seemed that no matter what you did, Mingi would still find you. Much like he had done in the past and acted like your loyal puppy. A pesky little sunray.

With no success after a total of five songs, you decided to retire to the side lines and take a breather. Sauntering over to Mingi, you pointed at his hand, and received your drink that he had been keeping safe. A refreshing dilution of whatever the beverage was supposed to be. After taking a greedy sip, you spotted a more secluded seating area in one of the corners of the venue, which had not been reserved nor was occupied, and strode on over before anyone had the same idea as you. You did not need to check if Mingi was behind you. The only answer, ever, was yes.

Crash landing onto one of the couches, nearly spilling what you had left of the liquid nonsense, you gave a little yawn. It was a little too early for you to be getting bored, but without Woo and San to be the two devils on your shoulders and wingman collaborators, you were contemplating calling it a night and just leaving. If Mingi wanted to stay for a little longer he could: he was a big boy who could go clubbing on his own. But to you, the past couple of hours have been a continuous mission failed.

“Hey, if you are feeling tired, we could-”

That choice of pronoun, ‘we’, rubbed you the wrong way. You did not need this ‘we’ right now. You needed another someone, anyone to make that ‘we’ happen.

“Nah, don’t worry about me I just needed to sit down for a second. All that dancing and not taking a break? That’s how you know a person is on something.” You gestured at the dance floor again to emphasise your point.

From a distance, it really did look like an unstoppable, pulsating jelly fish that emanated neon fluorescence. Your natural habitat. Your rhythm. Fuck it. You were going back. You did not want to be in the company of this cutesy dullard. At least not right now. In a few quick moves, Mingi was left standing alone by the couches, as you clicked your heels across to the dance floor, joining the chaos once more.

How breath-taking you looked. Mingi was stunned as your lithe form glided past him, in that little black dress that beautifully hugged your figure. You were royalty under the moonlight. A seductress out on the prowl, unknowingly having laid claim on his soul long before you had ever thought you could. Mingi had never understood how he had fallen so hard for you, but this was an abyss that he would never be able to get out of, as every waking day gave him a new reason to love you.

He had been the only one out of his school to go to the university that he did, and since it was a distance away from the family home, he had to move, live alone, work alone, sit alone. There had been some positive aspects to that lifestyle, like he had all the time in the world to study, but the loneliness began eating away at him, gnawing into his anxieties until it had become almost unbearable. That was when he had reached out to someone he knew had good social networks in the university, and in a matter of weeks had found himself a group to be in. Your group, to be more specific. Everyone had been welcoming, but he had convinced himself that he could not be anything except a burden, and as such he had turned into something reminiscent of a butler. A boy at beck and call, just because he wanted to have friends and thought he had to continuously prove himself worthy. It was exhausting, but once he had started, it was near impossible to stop. People got used to good things far too quickly.

But then, there was you. An angel who had taken him by the hand and led him out of the maze of his own making. The only one who had stepped in. The one who had shown they cared. At first, he just wanted to show you his gratitude and help you out as best as he could in return for your gesture, but the more time he spent with you, the more he found out about you, the more he ended up wanting everything to do with you. Sure, you had presented yourself as being above feelings, he knew that, but he was not bothered by it. It was your comfort that mattered to Mingi. If that meant keeping everyone besides a select few friends at arm’s length, then so be it. At least it was your arm, and you were not refusing his company entirely.

That was how he had ended up being a sort of satellite to your system. A little moon orbiting around you while you and your friends were a galaxy, and order of planets. It was clear that the group was not as impressive as it had been, and that he was still the odd one out, nevertheless, social outings were still being organised, and he could sometimes attend them. His heart had swelled when you, Wooyoung and San had reached out to him with an invite to a night club. And now, even more so that the duo could not make it, albeit for an upsetting reason.

Mingi knew why you went to this club in particular. It had a good crowd, quite a few ‘lookers’, and people did not hesitate to spend their money. You had frequented it enough times for you to be very amiable towards nearly all staff, even recognising that one of the barmen was a new hire and wishing him luck. You were so amazingly attentive, and your ‘focus face’ had not changed at all since Mingi had known you. Forever his first love that never seized to threaten to break out of his chest in a burst of pent-up affection.

Of course, there was another reason why you were here, one that did not sit quite as well with him and was why he was rather sulky and unable to appease you in being more carefree and becoming one with the heavy beat that was roaring over him. And it was that you had your focus trained on others. Studying man after man for their ‘potential’, checking their energy or whatever it was that you could feel through their trousers. You were a dangerous balance of audacious and coquettish, able to physically entice and mentally capture.

But the disgusting, lascivious leers that those you tested the waters with sent you, and them groping your ass, snaking their arms around your waste, or openly palming their groin as they approached you was about to make Mingi go insane. Was this the kind of treatment you suffered through every single Friday night just to satisfy your own needs? Did you have to listen to drunkards call you vile names just for a night of passion? He could not comprehend how anyone could ever deserve it just because they wanted something special.

Fuck it. He could not stand you being attacked in that way anymore. He needed to join you on the dance floor before this could continue. Not for one second could he believe that you were enjoying this. It was dangerous. It was degrading. It was… it was not the you that had been his friend. It was the you that had evoked a different kind of desire within him. An insatiable want for you, and you alone. As he stalked forwards, closer to the centre where you were currently swaying to the more melodic interlude of rhythm and blues as a man clearly double your age was trying to woo you, trying to roam your body with his grimy hands. One look to the left and there was another, a woman who looked to be in her early thirties, unabashedly looking you up and down, likely having undressed you a thousand times in her mind. You were unstoppable, but Mingi desperately wanted to try. So, he silenced his mind’s protests, tuning into a darker hedonism, and swept you away from where you had been dancing and pushing you deeper into the mass, making both of you disappear into its music-enchanted waves.

You were astonished at your friend’s bout of bravery. Raising an eyebrow in suspicion, you studied him as he tried his best to guide you in the dance, however failing to do so without a newbie’s rigidity. A smile crept onto your face as you placed both of your hands on his upper arms, taking note of the well-sculpted muscle concealed by his shirt, and slid them down, nice and slow until you could guide Mingi to rest his own hands right on your waist. Now tonight was getting interesting. Finally. Without as much as a one word exchange you two continued indulging in the trance, and as the song changed, and changed again, time allowed the two of you to completely sink into the addictive feeling.

When my eyes are on you

숨 막힐듯한 전율

Oh, you know you get me loose

Make me go 비틀비틀

It was a push and pull. You wanted to take Mingi to the limit. Since he finally wanted to communicate with your senses, you wanted to show him all that you could do, what this atmosphere could do. The electricity between you and him was undeniable, and as you got more confident in one another’s presence you had fallen into a shared rhythm, taking every breath together, translating every beat into body language.

A dance floor made for two

달이 부르는 선율

Oh, it's only me and you

Make me go 비틀비틀

This ray of sunshine called Song Mingi was glinting in a much more tantalising manner than usual. All that following you around did appear to do some good at least – he could match you well. Almost frighteningly well. His movements were smooth, and he was very light on his feet. And most importantly, he was fully immersed in being your dance partner, to the extent that a club had the space for and considered as paired dancing. At some point during the song, his gentle grasp on your hips had become more needy, and he transferred it to your hips, while still keeping time to the song. As he pushed you closer to him, you could feel heat rolling off his body, and spot a single bead of sweat making its way down the side of his face.

Without thinking about it much you moved to swipe it away, which made Mingi stiffen and falter. He responded to your touch, leaning his head in which you took to be a sign that at least you would have a good night in the club. He was not going to go anywhere and was at your mercy. Very loyal. And all over you. You did have to admit, that once he had dropped the observation game and acted, he was turning out to be a lot more of an exciting person to have around. On top of that, you were getting your fill of more personalised attention, with an enviable man as your companion.

Again, the song changed to a slowed rhythm and blues piece, and both of you took it as a sign to get even closer. Your arms were now draped over his shoulders and loosely crossed behind his neck, and your lower bodies were mere centimetres apart. The previous energetic sequence was all gone, replaced instead with an unmistakeable burning. As your orbs met his in a near-showdown fashion, you could see Mingi’s irrefutable change in demeanour. How did you not consider this man before? This other Mingi? It was like you were meeting somebody for the first time. Somebody who you would not mind making your body.

Your breath was becoming his breath as he inched closer and closer to you, so tentative as though he was asking permission for every tiny movement. He halted right when your noses were touching, and so dangerously close you could almost taste him.

Mingi was going into overdrive. His everything, you, were right within reach, and yet your soul was nowhere to be felt. You were a succubus, tempting him by the way you were toying with his hair, so carelessly, like you did not know what you were doing to him. Tempting him by the kittenish expression you wore, your half-lidded eyes hinting at a future that he had only dreamt of with you. His sinful fantasies about you had all awakened; episodes that he had drafted in solitude wanting to be re-enacted. How he yearned for your touch. For him to be able to melt into you and give himself up. Be only yours. Forever. So, you did not ever have to do what you had been doing all this time before tonight. He let out a shaky breath, affected by the lust that was already clouding his vision. Voice low, and a little hoarse, Mingi momentarily shut his eyes and whispered right against your cheek:

“Use me.”

You tried to step back a little, surprised at Mingi’s sudden proposition. But he would not let go, instead pressing you flush against his frame. You could now feel that he was not kidding, his blooming arousal greeting you through the layers of fabric. Because you had not responded to him, nor showed any signs of being interested, the notes of roughness in his tone disappeared entirely, leaving behind something closer to a whimper:

“Y/N… please. Use me. You… you don’t need anybody else. Can just use me.”

In awe, you were staring at Mingi. Now this was something you had never predicted for this Friday night. In your musings, you had bet that by now, you would have been in your own bed, watching a music show and drifting off to sleep. Not about to make a decision that could change the course of your life while in a not so lucid state of mind.

“Then tell me, darling, how do you want me to use you?” you asked back, hearing a sharp and shallow gasp from Mingi. He was unwinding right in your hands, and you had barely done anything.

“I’d rather show you, Y/N, if you will let me.” He mumbled, beginning to trace your jawline with soft, feathery kisses.

“And I’d rather bend you to my will.” The retort sent a shiver down his spine, and he ceased to pepper you with the manifestation of his desirous state. “After you take me to your place.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“I could get used to this. Lead the way, darling. Your place.”

With one arm wrapped around your waist, tracing abstract patterns on your dress, and the other being used as a wedge to part the tightly knit bodies, Mingi immediately answered to your request. He had not changed his positioning as he flagged down a taxi, and continued holding onto you, although now it was your hand in his, for the duration of the drive to his home. Whilst the tiny droplets of possessiveness masked most of Mingi’s disposition, there was an endearing aspect to it. In some ways, Mingi was like a little kid who had just discovered something extraordinary and was ready to tie himself to it to ensure that it did not disappear. Even with his present actions unveiling nothing but an unprecedented lust and unbreakable certitude, Mingi still had remnants of his day-time self clinging onto him. Which was the first thing you focused on ripping way once he had finished fumbling with the keys to his front door.

You were tightly bound in each other’s arms. The air was thick with anticipation while Mingi closed the door with his foot and haphazardly threw off his shoes. You followed suit, and upon having done so, observed your ‘human offering’. You could see that he was not sure in how to proceed, having stopped midway through the entryway corridor, but the grip he had was on the contrary, more possessive. If he wanted to be used so badly, then he would not mind if you ruined him.

A harsh pull of the shirt collar and a stifled mention of your name later, your red-tinted lips locked in with his in a perfect harmony. In that moment, he was like your oasis, a discovery of a paradise after eons of suffering, a salve to your numerous wounds. The kiss swiftly transformed from the first phase of introductory exploration, luxuriating in the delectable tension, to a faster and more fervent collision of sexual ardour.

He was so malleable in your hands, giving into your control and honouring it with the unholy groans that were building up in his throat. To think that you had such an effect on someone and so quickly! It sparked a stronger desire to make him unravel and proudly share with you just how good, how satiated you made him feel. You wanted to hear him submit to you and follow your laws.

As you toyed with the hem of his trousers, pulling at the belt and letting your noticeably colder fingers glide against his skin, you elicited a growl from Mingi, who broke away from your lips to trail kisses down your neck and stopped right at the base, nuzzling into it and masking his responsive eagerness.

“Bed… room…” his demand came across more as a suggestion due to his feeble tone, but you felt nice, for now, and obliged, and let him take the lead in your tango across the living space and through the half-open door straight across from where you had been.

You were illuminated only by the moon and the streetlights that shone through the window, leaving you standing in an ethereal glow. Shadows that fell across Mingi’s face as he pulled away from you, his breathing ragged, only amplified the near-animalistic want etched onto him, another mark of his submission to you. He did not dare make a single move, again, standing in wait. An obedient boy, letting you turn his back to the bed, pushing him down until he was sat on its edge. You straddled him, your dress riding up to reveal the panties of a lacy lingerie set, and languidly grinded against him a couple of times to drive up his desire. He stifled a moan by biting his swollen bottom lip in an attempt to hide his craving for you, but that bashfulness was not on your agenda.

Motivated by his shallow pants, you slid your hands with fingers spread far apart under his white, now crumpled shirt, sliding them lazily up his torso, feeling for every ripple, every response to you. You stopped at his chest, paying particular attention to his nipples as you stimulated them, repeatedly making circular motions with your index fingers and pinching them until you saw Mingi tilt his head back a little and make haste to adjust his hold on you, moving to your voluptuous ass. Pushing himself against you he tried to chase his own high, giving into the first gifts bestowed upon him in the form of your caresses. But not so fast, you were not going to let him have so much fun so early on. Not when he had pledged to listen to you. To let him be your toy for the night. With a devilish smirk, you abruptly stopped, making Mingi’s eyes shoot wide open, and dart across your features. The nervousness did little to make you merciful, for instead you found you took pleasure in taking away what others enjoyed. He was confused, unable to read your expression. Just as he was opening his mouth, still decorated with your sweet saliva, you used his lowered guard against him and toppled him backwards. You took him by the wrists and pressed them by his head, right into the disturbed sheets. He looked so pretty under you. Pretty little princess. Those doe eyes, searching for an answer from you. A command. Anything.

“Did you not say I could use you, hm, darling? And now what do you think you are doing?” you purred, hovering over him.

Mingi let out a desperate hum and tried to buck up his hips against you. You knew that he could overpower you at any moment. And that made your present power of him that much sweeter. You held your ground and ignored the heat rising in your core. When he denied you a response, you removed your hold from one of his wrists, instead taking his chin and gripping it to make him see only you through his daze.

“I will repeat, what the fuck do you think you are doing, huh?” you were centimetres away, hissing the question right into his ear before softly exhaling, leaving a few kisses and cautiously biting the lobe. Mingi’s chest rose and fell sharply as he took in the sensation.

“I… I want you. I want you so bad, Y/N. Please.” He begged, letting his free hand rise to try hooking the strap of your dress, but before he could slide it down your shoulder, you switched your position again, now no longer holding him down, but tearing his shirt apart to feast your eyes.

“And where did your obedience go, darling? Do you think you deserve what you want?” you applied pressure on his clothed member, mocking how you could so easily ride him.

“I… sorry, Y/N, I cannot think, I-”

“Shut up. You said to use you. Who the fuck do you think you are?”

“Yours, Y/N I am yours-”

“That is mistress to you, you little bitch.” You snapped, back to peering into his clouded orbs. On instinct, you moved to give his throat some ‘affection’, applying light pressure on either side as you continued: “Pretending to be so innocent, whoring yourself out to me. I bet this is what you do on the daily, batting your eyelashes looking all pretty and in a matter of minutes becoming a lascivious little slut.”

“Y/N-” he yelped, but you were not having that kind of disrespect, so you tightened your rip and moved one hand behind you to fish for his belt.

“It’s mistress, darling.” You uttered, an ominous darkness dripping from your words. Mingi shuddered as he felt you masterfully removing the pesky accessory, discarding it with one throw.

“Okay, m-mistress, ah fuck…” he moaned as you let go of his throat and fully exposed his throbbing member, taking it in one hand and rubbing its tip with a thumb. He desperately wanted to see how you unwounded him, but you remained sat right on his pelvis, hiding your act with your body.

“Is this what you want, darling? Me pleasuring you? Me taking you apart with my touch?”

“Ah- yes! Yes, mistress!”

“What a good boy, see it was not so hard to learn. Now tell me how far do you want to go.” You broke your act just a little, to check if Mingi was still on board. You had no idea of his experience, nor of his boundaries, so it was a matter of respect.

“All… all the way… Y/N, sorry, mistress.”

“Good. Then I expect you to follow my every command. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes.”

“Good little fuck toy.” You praised, sliding your hand down his dick, spreading his precum down the length and giving him one pump, only to fully remove yourself from his body and sit on your knees by his side. You traced his abdomen as you pondered out loud, amused at his dedication – he was not moving a single inch, wrapped up in your presence.

“I have been far too generous, don’t you think? Giving you all the pleasure, whilst you are making a mess and not thanking me for all I have done. Filthy.”

“Thank you. Thank you so much, mistress.”

“For what?”

“For treating me so well. For making me feel so good-”

“Oh, you eager little slut, such a pleaser. Sweet talking your way into getting some more. How greedy!” you laughed, crawling closer to his head and running your fingers through his locks. “I will need a lot more than that to forgive you for being so demanding.”

“Anything.” He answered airily.

“Then make me come with that mouth of yours. Show me what your tongue can really do.”

“Yes, please, mistress.”

“Tsk-tsk, how cute. Then on your knees, darling right there. In front of the bed. So I can see just how delightful you look worshipping my cunt.”

In a matter of seconds, he was making his way off the bed, and simultaneously discarding the rest of his clothing that you had unbuttoned. Stark naked, he dropped to the ground, just as you had commanded him to. The moon illuminated him once more. A lustful little angel.

You took your time in removing your dress, feigning a lack of want. As if you were doing Mingi a favour by being here, and by letting him eat you out. You wanted to make it a point that your orgasm was his highest reward, and that he better get used to it quickly if he wanted to be used by you. Mingi gaped at you as you were left in your bra and panties, the article now leaving barely anything to the imagination. On all fours, you crawled towards him, every bit a dangerous wildcat ready to pounce. Before taking a comfortable seat for your pleasure, you cupped his chin once more and pulled him into a sultry kiss, tilting your head to seek entrance with your tongue.

Mingi gripped the sheets and tried to rise to pull you closer into him, but upon seeing the too positive response, you sat right back, and slid your legs down into position. You rested your weight on one arm, while the other absent-mindedly played with Mingi’s hair as he placed his hands on your thighs, and began to take your panties off. For a couple of seconds, you played along, sitting up slightly so that the material could escape from under you, but just as he thought he had it all in his power, you stopped him by yanking him to attention by the hair.

“Now, not so fast, did I say I wanted to see what your hands could do?”

“No, mistress.”

“Exactly. Use your mouth, pretty boy.” He obliged, even going so far as to put his hands behind his back. He took the material between his teeth, and worked at it, little by little, downwards, until it appeared as though he was bowing to you, right at your feet. In one final move, Mingi tugged them off you, and rose up once more, an entertaining look of pride on his features.

You committed each step of this intimate sequence to memory and continued watching the show that he was putting on for you. The throw of the panties away from him with a move of the head, his gaze trailing down your body, his kitten-like nudges to your thighs, pleading you to spread them further apart. Not wanting to wait any longer, you did as much, and wriggled yourself forwards a tiny bit more.

As he kissed your clit and ran his hot tongue between your already soaked folds, you realised just how riled up you were. He would do anything for you, and that turned you on unbelievably. You tightened your jaw and shut your mouth to suppress any sound as you let your head fall back a little, your hair streaming down behind you in a waterfall. He was lapping up your nectar like a parched man, not leaving a single bit behind. With a flick, he switched his attention back to your aroused bud, and began to circle it with his tongue, occasionally pursing his lips to give the sensitive blossom intemperate sucks.

It was challenging to hold back any more of your sinful moans as he returned to your wet hole, penetrating it with his tongue and twisting in an unrepeatable motion. You felt your core begin to tighten, as a high was alerting you of its imminence. You tugged gently at Mingi’s soft hair and praised him for being such a good little boy, such a good darling, for fucking you so good with his tongue.

His delighted hums sent a vibration against your dripping cunt, and you groaned in pleasure, only making Mingi pick up his pace. His tongue was moving in and out, gliding against your folds and playing with your clit. As he buried his face in your pussy, wanting nothing more than to drown in your juices, your climax was fast approaching. As your breaths turned shallower by the second, and you pressed Mingi’s head right against you, he took the signal and gave your clit one final lick and curled his tongue upwards, right inside your hole. He was beckoning you, begging you to cum for him.

“Ah fuck, Mingi I-” his name slipped out of your mouth as you gave into the awaited orgasm, shuddering at the unforgettable feeling. He reacted to your exclamation with unexpected vigour, kissing your sex and hastily drinking in your release. This further stimulated you as you let go of him and leaned back onto your elbows, to not fully collapse.

Taking deep breaths in, you composed yourself and returned from your high. You glanced at Mingi, whose lips were glistening with your wetness. He dared to give you a shy smile after noticing your observation, like he was awaiting more praise for his hard work.

“What a good little slut my pretty boy is. Making mistress really happy.” It was hard to keep your voice steady, but you tried your best, seeing as you had to maintain dominance.

“And I am so happy too mistress. Thank you… can I ask something?” he inquired, as you rose onto your knees again and unclasped your bra, making him lose track of his thoughts for a moment.

“Go on ahead.” You enjoyed when men scrutinised your so hungrily. How your shapely breasts managed to make them forgive and forget anything you wanted them to. As you watched Mingi swallow some spit, eyes trained on your chest, you began to knead them for full effect, “you were saying?”

“Oh… I… I liked when… when you called me by my name… mistress…” he forced out, rising up onto his feet as you motioned for him to do so with your index finger. Now this was problematic. You never liked using your temporary lovers’ names during sex, as you felt it to be a little too personal. Yes, there had been times when it slipped, but Mingi had been the only one to take notice and express his liking of the fact.

“Well, one time’s enough baby boy. You need to work harder for me, you hear me?” you turned the game around, evading the possibility of him asking you to stop with the pet names and degradation. After what looked to be a flash of disappointment, Mingi returned to his obedient state and mumbled a low ‘yes mistress’.

You commanded that he lied down, just as he had before, his member now completely in the air and almost unbearably hard. You moved to sit right before it, your legs spread and straddling his thighs, pussy just within reach. But not just yet. You had a little more you wanted to do; you wanted to return the favour – you were just that nice.

Mingi was in a state of pure bliss as you spat on his cock and rubbed the viscous liquid over it. It was only a matter of moments before you heard him emit a low, husky moan. He cursed at the feeling, eyes rolling back a little as he gave into you, again. It was almost more pleasurable watching him plead for you to go faster than satisfying yourself. How his cheeks flushed a deeper shade of pink when you played with his tip. How he shivered when you decided to give his dick a blow of cold air, making Mingi’s mind go into a frenzy. He wanted you to take him whole, bucking up his hips as he noticed you moving closer, but that only made him receive a slap on his abused member, and a sharp command:

“Princess. I make the rules here. And if for one second you think that I am going to let your whored out dick touch my lips, I will not hesitate to punish you until you can’t walk.” You threatened, and continued pumping rhythmically as you heard a series of melodic whines in response.

He was so easy to read. Spread on the palm of your hand, a simple, innocent Song Mingi. So, you knew exactly when to cut his pleasure short, abruptly recoiling and removing your legs to be positioned to his right. You observed his pulsing cock as Mingi cried out in frustration, moaning for you to continue, just a little bit longer.

“Silence, darling. I am bored again, and I think you will like what I am planning.” You explained, twisting at the waist to reach for your handbag that you had thrown in the direction of the side table in the corner.

Upon fishing out a condom and unrolling it on Mingi’s member, you thanked your lucky stars that it was the right size. The friction made him tense up again, and you chuckled. So sensitive. So malleable. All yours to use for the night.

“Are you ready, darling?” you threw the question out in a manner similar to that of asking about someone’s day. Like this really meant nothing to you. Even though your core was pleading for you to hurry up.

“Yes, mistre- ah!” he could not finish his answer as you directed his cock right outside your entrance, and eased it in.

As you took Mingi’s whole length, you put your hands on his abdomen, and peered over, glazed over from the sensation of him filling you up, against your walls in all the right places. You needed a moment to get used to it, as the impossibly ideal match left you on the verge of sanity. The heat of your pussy, and its clenching as you wiggled a little to get your positioning just right was making Mingi see stars, detuning from any reason or logic that he may have had left. Now, there was only you and him. Bound by the night.

You commenced your ritual. The sensual rise and fall of your body as you engulfed him more and more with every move. His whimper as you rocked forwards to glide over his length made you groan in response, and you leaned in to kiss him, still managing to taste your own climax on those soft lips. Before you could move away, he cupped your face and pulled you in closer, nearly making you lose balance – you had to move up and push into his chest.

He gazed right into your eyes. It felt like a fire, burning through you. You were comfortable with lust, and had seen it many times before, but there was something deeper, something more lethal behind Mingi’s carnality. But in your present disorientation, you dismissed it as a building thrill to accompany the knot that was steadily growing within you. It was impossible to look away as he powered through the numbing gratification and kept you level with him. The way he looked to be committing you to memory, your every freckle and blemish forming constellations in his universe, was almost frightening.

As your pussy began to pulsate with more frequency around his member, Mingi clenched his jaw and let out a low growl. Unable to stay at the same pace any longer, but still having to remain in his place, he began to toy with your breasts, just as you had done while undressing him, flicking the sensitive nubs until you dug your nails into his skin, feeling the stimulation totally collapsing on you.

“Y/N… please… please mistress… can I… can I please fuck you harder. I want to make you feel so good. As best as I can…” he pleaded, his wish being granted almost instantly as you guided him back to your hips.

Just as you had done while moving a little way up before, he rocked you in the same direction, his length almost completely escaping you, only to be sheathed back again. As he got more comfortable with you in his grasp, he picked up his speed, the gentleness being replaced by steady pounds. He rolled his body up against you, joining you in the race to a long-awaited high. Your moans were becoming uncontrollable as you struggled to stay on top of him, which led him to flip you over and take his position on the bed. You were too hazy to protest as he kissed your neck, your cheeks your nose, your lips, and intertwined his fingers with yours as he quickened his pace even more.

The sound of your juices being pumped again and again was making you and him lose your minds, feral from the sexual delight. You could not care less that he was now groaning out your name with every stroke, and that his face was showing nothing but adoration. You were using him, after all, he had to fit to your demands. And how he was now having his way with you was making you go mad with lust. Your cunt could not take this perfection much longer, and you could feel it cramp around Mingi’s dick, signifying your unravelling.

“Ah… shit… darling… I… I am about to...”

It was challenging to find the words, let alone form them into a coherent sentence as you cried out and came undone once more. You wrapped your arms around Mingi’s broad shoulders, bringing him to you as you muted your yelps with his kiss. He continued pumping into you until he, too, began to falter, and soon enough was moaning right into you. Both of you collapsed into one another, your sweaty bodies becoming one in the moonlight as he relished in the feeling of your ecstasy warming his cock.

Using the last of the strength he had left, Mingi pushed himself off you and rolled over onto his back. Breathing heavy, you focused on the settling silence of the room. As your eyes had fully adjusted to the semi-dim illumination, you could finally take your surroundings in, and when your inhalation and exhalation returned to a reasonable pace, you could make out the noises of traffic coming from outside. Barely there, but a reminder that you were not on cloud nine.

It was time to clean up. You were quick to regain your senses, thanks what could be considered as training, while the same could not be said about Mingi. He was practically motionless, only the beating of his heart and breathing giving away that he was a living, but totally spent man. You removed the condom, tying it in a knot and throwing it in a bin you spotted in the corner.

It was fairly easy to find the bathroom, with its entrance being right outside. As you dolled yourself up again, which was pretty much just wiping away some mascara and eyeliner that had decided to stain your cheeks, you wondered whether Mingi was already asleep, or if he was going to meet you in the shower. Not wanting to wait, you took the liberty of stepping in and dousing yourself in the cooling water, careful not to ruin your hair more than it had already been tousled by passion.

No change. You unceremoniously dried yourself using the closest available towel, throwing it into the laundry basket under the sink. Mingi was definitely asleep. Or just so exhausted that he could not function. You chuckled to yourself, your ego swelling – a common occurrence on a Friday night for you. But a little seedling of suspicion had risen within you as you turned of the light and stalked back to the room. The intimate eye contact, the kiss to ride out the climax, the hand holding. This was a little… personal. Much like his reaction to you calling out his name. You were using him, you repeated to yourself. He just offered himself to you. A loyal friend, right? Helping another in need, apologising for cockblocking you for nearly the entire evening. What the fuck were you even saying? There was something off about this. You could not place a finger on it. But Mingi, poor Mingi, answered all your doubts in one go.

As you stood by the bed, about to lie back down to let yourself drift into a peaceful rest before exiting the scene in the morning, he stirred. You chose to not make any further motions to join him. You glanced at his form, now curled up and reaching towards the side where you had been. This pretty little angel. Who had fallen for the night to satisfy your sin. Just as you were about to step towards the window to take in the scenery, Mingi mumbled out the one thing you were terrified of.

“I love you… Y/N…”

Your heart stopped, and you froze in place.

You knew he was irrational. You knew he was fucked out and on the verge of slumber. Hell, you heard others say this to you before in a post-coital bliss. But something about how those three little words fell out of Mingi’s bruised lips tore at you, and how he said your name was a direct shot through the heart. By barely doing anything, just giving into his nature, his mind’s calling, Mingi made it clear that this really was a truth that he had harbouring for so long, and that only at his most vulnerable, while with you, could he reveal it.

In those couple of seconds that it took to utter the sacred confession, he had unlocked his world, one that revolved around you. If the past did not exist, and this was all a movie, the audience could almost believe that this was all domestic. That in a matter of seconds you would be crawling back into bed, to someone with whom you were sharing your life, to fall asleep in his embrace.

And not to be scrambling for your belongings that had been strewn around on the floor, careful not to alert your ‘not so much a friend anymore’. You felt panic rise in your throat as you let out a couple of shaky breaths.

“I love you”

Was it that easy for him to say?

“I.”

“Love.”

“You.”

Why were you so affected by it? Why was this the first time that these words, in that order, did matter?

You sent one apologetic glance over your shoulder as you tip-toed out of the bedroom, sex still heavy in the air. Your high heels were still in your hands as you crept out of Mingi’s apartment, out of fear that he could awaken at any moment, and you would not be able to stay indifferent enough to brush his pleas away.

Would he say your name in the morning?

Would he miss you when he realised you were gone?

Shit. You were in deep trouble.

You pulled down your dress a little, flipped one of the straps that decided it was not the time to look neat, and shoved the tights that you had not had the time nor the courage to stay and put on into your handbag. There was no chance you were going to stay in that same space as him. The adoration was borderline suffocating. It was so pure. So… honest. It made you sick to your stomach, and you were not sure if it was from disgust or from butterflies.

This was supposed to be just like any other Friday. A satiation of basic human instincts. A moment that was meant to be erased and the space filled by somebody else. But you had committed a fatal error. And you were sure of it. You had foolishly chosen Mingi: the one person who could not comprehend, nor have ‘no strings’ with you. In fact, all strings that he had ever been bound by led only to you.

In retrospect, it was obvious. All the years you had known him, he was always on your team. That silly boy. In university, he had brought you medicine when you were sick. Followed you and your ‘gang’ of troublemakers around almost like a groupie would follow a rock band. Stayed up with you in the campus library just to keep you company as you crunched out some report.

And now, even when life had thrown peers around different cities and countries and your friend group had whittled down to a tight-knit squad, he was still there. Loyal to you. Satisfied even if it was just you rejecting him repeatedly, selecting man after man, sometimes right in front of him, to bring home for the damned Friday night. All because at least before that moment, he could spend some time with you.

What were you thinking, falling for the trap of accepting a lover’s self-sacrifice?

A true libertine, you had chosen the primrose path of dalliance to tread. It was only a matter of time before you had to pay for it in full, for there was nothing in the world that could fix Song Mingi’s heart of gold if it were to break.

You stumbled outside of his apartment building, finally remembering to tug on the heels as your bare feet hit the biting cold concrete. It was barely three in the morning. Much earlier than you had ever left a one-night-stand’s place before. But this was different. In every way it was really fucking different. You hobbled away, cursing yourself over and over as you fished out your nearly dead mobile phone out of your bag, searching for the number of the only one you could call when the apocalypse was upon you.

He picked up after the third ring, just as you were passing under a streetlight. The roads were completely deserted, the residential district wrapped up in a cosy blanket until the morning. Somnolent trees lining pathways and sidewalks were barely rocking, and the only sounds that filled the air were the rumbles of distant traffic.

“Yeah? Y/N? What happened? You normally don’t call-”

“Wooyoung. I fucked up. Really badly. I really, really, badly fucked up.” You felt tears beginning to well up and sting you, threatening to spill over at any moment. Your friend was so concerned about you, launching to try and comfort you. It made you think back to those damn words that had imprinted themselves in your mind. Replaying again and again.

“Wait, wait, what happened, hold on? Are you okay? Are you safe? Where are you? San and I are coming to get you right now-”

“I slept with Mingi.” You cut him off. You were no longer walking; your legs were barely supporting you anyways.

“WHAT?” silence on the line as you heard shuffling and hushed, indecipherable whispers. “So, by that do you mean like, uh… heavy petting and foreplay or-”

“Since when does SLEEPING WITH SOMEONE mean THIRD BASE in our vocabulary, Woo?” you yelled, though without much conviction – you sounded too choked up.

“Fair point… well was it worth it at least?” you were not surprised that Wooyoung would inquire after that even when you were on the verge of melting down right on him.

“Oh, for fucks sake, YES, yes it was good. Very good in fact. More than good.”

“Then hey, at least that’s a positive. Then why are you so distressed? I know he has eyes for you but you know, so do like seventy percent of the guys at work.”

“He said he loved me.” You forced out, attempting to regain some nonchalance.

“No way.” Wooyoung muttered under his breath.

“Yes way.

“Fu-u-uck… Okay Y/N where are you this needs some wine and a good game plan.” You heard the rattling of keys and rapid footsteps. You tried to imagine the layout of your friend’s pad. Anything to get you away from what you had just done.

“I am… you know what let me send you my live location.” You could not bring yourself to take a single step back, even though you had seen a street sign. Going back would mean getting closer to him.

“Cool, stay put,” Wooyoung ended your conversation, but before hanging up you could hear him shouting at San to ‘stop sulking over that bitch there is a real catastrophe happening out there’.

No better words to describe it.

You used Mingi.

While Mingi loved you.

[jackoshadows]

In the books:

White Harbor

“Was ever snow so black?” asked Lord Wyman. “Ramsay took Lord Hornwood’s lands by forcibly wedding his widow, then locked her in a tower and forgot her. It is said she ate her own fingers in her extremity…and the Lannister notion of king’s justice is to reward her killer with Ned Stark’s little girl.” - Davos, ADwD

Winterfell:

"The bride weeps," Lady Dustin said, as they made their way down, step by careful step. "Our little Lady Arya." ... What do you think passes through their heads when they hear the new bride weeping? Valiant Ned's precious little girl." ... "Lady Arya's sobs do us more harm than all of Lord Stannis's swords and spears. - The Turncloak, ADwD

The Boltons about the Northmen marching with Stannis:

“Even ruined and broken, Winterfell remains Lady Arya’s home. What better place to wed her, bed her, and stake your claim? Let Stannis march on us. He is too cautious to come to Barrowton…but he must come to Winterfell. His clansmen will not abandon the daughter of their precious Ned to such as you. - - Reek, ADwD

The northmen marching with Stannis:

"Winter is almost upon us, boy. And winter is death. I would sooner my men die fighting for the Ned’s little girl than alone and hungry in the snow, weeping tears that freeze upon their cheeks. No one sings songs of men who die like that. As for me, I am old. This will be my last winter. Let me bathe in Bolton blood before I die. I want to feel it spatter across my face when my axe bites deep into a Bolton skull. I want to lick it off my lips and die with the taste of it on my tongue." - The King's Prize, ADwD

Stannis to Lord Commander Jon Snow:

… more northmen coming in as word spreads of our victory. Fisherfolk, freeriders, hillmen, crofters from the deep of the wolfswood and villagers who fled their homes along the stony shore to escape the ironmen, survivors from the battle outside the gates of Winterfell, men once sworn to the Hornwoods, the Cerwyns, and the Tallharts. We are five thousand strong as I write, our numbers swelling every day. And word has come to us that Roose Bolton moves toward Winterfell with all his power, there to wed his bastard to your half sister. He must not be allowed to restore the castle to its former strength. We march against him. Arnolf Karstark and Mors Umber will join us. I will save your sister if I can, and find a better match for her than Ramsay Snow. You and your brothers must hold the Wall until I can return. - Jon, ADwD

Lord Commander Jon Snow on the Wall:

"He's to marry Arya Stark. My little sister." Jon could almost see her in that moment, long-faced and gawky, all knobby knees and sharp elbows, with her dirty face and tangled hair. They would wash the one and comb the other, he did not doubt, but he could not imagine Arya in a wedding gown, nor Ramsay Bolton's bed. No matter how afraid she is, she will not show it. If he tries to lay a hand on her, she'll fight him. "Your sister," Iron Emmett said, "how old is …" By now she'd be eleven, Jon thought. Still a child. "I have no sister. Only brothers. Only you." Lady Catelyn would have rejoiced to hear those words, he knew. That did not make them easier to say. His fingers closed around the parchment. Would that they could crush Ramsay Bolton's throat as easily. - Jon, ADwD

You know nothing, Jon Snow. He thought of Arya, her hair as tangled as a bird's nest. I made him a warm cloak from the skins of the six whores who came with him to Winterfell … I want my bride back … I want my bride back … I want my bride back … "I think we had best change the plan," Jon Snow said.

The roar was all he could have hoped for, the tumult so loud that the two old shields tumbled from the walls. Soren Shieldbreaker was on his feet, the Wanderer as well. Toregg the Tall, Brogg, Harle the Huntsman and Harle the Handsome both, Ygon Oldfather, Blind Doss, even the Great Walrus. I have my swords, thought Jon Snow, and we are coming for you, Bastard. - Jon, ADwD

Stannis sending Arya to Jon Snow for a debt owed

"Oh, and take the Stark girl with you. Deliver her to Lord Commander Snow on your way to Eastwatch." Stannis tapped the parchment that lay before him. "A true king pays his debts." Pay it, aye, thought Theon. Pay it with false coin. Jon Snow would see through the imposter at once. Lord Stark's sullen bastard had known Jeyne Poole, and he had always been fond of his little half-sister Arya. - Theon, TWoW

Even the traitors Karstark pretending like the others:

Lord Arnolf shoved himself up, a vulture rising from its prey. One spotted hand clutched at his son’s shoulder for support. “We’ll take (Winterfell) for the Ned and for his daughter.” - The Sacrifice, ADwD

Us reading A Dance for Dragons: The North is marching for Lady Arya Stark of Winterfell, daughter of Ned Stark. Arya Stark is a pivotal character, a Key to the North around whom the North plot revolves. Various Northern factions are uniting behind her, the Lord Commander broke several oaths of neutrality and died trying to save her, two kings tried to save her.

Sansa stans/Jonsa shippers:

They hate it so much that the North plot revolves around Arya that the only thing they can do again and again is gaslight the fandom with this false equivalence that talking about Arya's importance to the North is making light of Jeyne's rape and abuse.

Also, Ramsay marries Arya Stark to give legitimacy to his stake over the North as Lord of Winterfell. Which is why Manderly wants Rickon because his claim supersedes Arya's. These morons pretending that discussing this plot is an insult to Arya while they hand over all of Arya's book themes, characterization and relationships to their fave is hilarious.

Like every other day there is a post of how Sansa is the MOST IMPORTANT because EVERYONE WANTS TO MARRY HER and she is the ONLY KEY TO THE NORTH - because the Lannisters, Tyrells and LF are all plotting to marry her off etc. The whole Jonsa shite is about Sansa deigning to make the poor bastard Jon legitimate by marrying him etc. Their world revolves around Sansa's marriage. But apparently discussing how Arya's marriage to Ramsay to hold the North is driving the Northern plot is insulting to Arya's character 🤣

When even the author has given all these interviews pointing out that replacing Jeyne with Sansa on the TV show changed the entire story because 'Fake Arya' is essential to what is happening in the North, these stans can only regurgitate this tired old nonsense and attack book readers for discussing what is actually in the books instead of making up headcanons on how their unqualified fave is the only candidate to be QITN

[rockingrobin69]

Insistently, Stickily Sweet

It started raining outside, a constant patter hitting the window, tap-tap-tapping away merrily. Inside, cocooned under a thick blanket, only a smattering of blond hair and the tip of a nose visible: “Is it finished,” a husk of a voice. He’d fallen asleep sometime during the second episode. Harry didn’t have the heart to wake him.

“Yes, sweetheart. Shall we call it a night?”

“No,” grumbling, fighting tooth and nail to free an arm, then another: emerging from the fuzzy material all mussed-up and bright, and lovely. “No, we said we’d watch them all.”

“Darling,” laughing, “you can’t even keep your eyes open.”

Draco stuck his nose up, the gesture slightly ruined for the pink of his cheeks. “I don’t need to see it to follow. Quiz me, on any part. I’ll tell you exactly what happened.”

“Oh no, I believe you,” Harry said quickly, half an excuse to wrap his arms around him, to press a mollifying kiss to his cheek. Pulling closer: “Come on, baby. This is stupid, and it’s getting late. Let’s go to bed.”

“No,” Draco still insisted, although he burrowed into him, leaned his head back. “Come on, press the button-thing. I have to know what, ah, Monica said to—Jerome.”

“Not even close,” Harry chuckled. “Did you catch any of it?”

“Of course. I caught it all. Come on, Harry, we’re not getting any younger, and I will not be the one to let our friends know we haven’t—argh!” when Harry grabbed him, “stop, stop, you goon, ah, the—fuck, Harry, with the tickling, have you no shame, a man comes to you vulnerable in half-sleep and you torture him, ah, ha, stop, stop!”

The words becoming shriekier and shriekier, delivered directly in his ear, and Draco was squirming in his arms, was too—an exhale, slightly shaky on how much, on how terribly much… buried his head in Draco’s neck, in the tacky warmth and the smell of the blanket and Draco’s shampoo.

“You’re impossible,” Harry said, muffled into his skin.

“I know,” with a smile so thick in his voice it was honey, it was gold. “So, what do you say. Another episode, no? Come on. Be a good boy for me, we both know you want to.”

“God, shut up,” just as it occurred to him: I’m going to spend the rest of my life with this man. The rest of his life. It felt bigger than a Wednesday-night, past eleven, Chinese takeout still sitting on dirty plates and re-runs of a silly 90’s comedy series on the telly. This, his Draco, with fluff from the blanket in his wild hair: it was so much bigger than anything he could have imagined.

“Fine,” helplessly, “one more. But just the one, Draco, I mean it. And then we go to bed.”

“Deal,” he smiled easily. Too easily: they’ll have the exact same argument when the episode’s over. Draco was a menace and Harry couldn’t wait.

Smugly, “Pansy will not be able to say she’s more well-versed in Muggle culture than I am.” Draco tucked himself under his arm, grumbled until he had the other one wrapped around him. Then the blanket, to cover them both, then his feet on the table, right in front of Harry’s face, obscuring half the screen. “All right?”

Breathing in deep: “Yeah, all right.” Pressed the remote control, and the sound of canned-laughter filled the living room.

Outside, the rain was still pouring, a continuous happy song Harry’s heart echoed. Inside, it was Wednesday, they both were so tired, and over-warmed, and massively, stickly, stupidly happy.

(Flufftober day 2. Find the soft AO3 collection here).

[mygloviesme]

cool about it, eleven years later. || myg || story finale

no. 3 out of 3: i can’t hide from you like i hide from myself

predebut/debut!yoongi x female idol

summary: eleven years later, kanako lives in nyc with her childhood best friend keiko. bts have become a household name that floods her every day life, and she's learned to ignore it. after years of moving on from those months she spent with the seven boys, she finds herself in a good place. what happens after one fateful night she finally runs into faces she's tried so hard to run away from?

(definitely inspired by boygenius)

word count: 10.5k (yup)

genre: ANGST, fluff, melodrama

chapter warnings: mentions of mental health, drinking (casual wine sipping), mentions of toxic ex, smut (missionary, oral f. receiving, dirty talk, praise? idk)

if you see any edit mistakes, no you don’t. it’s 5 am and I’m too eager to release this!

inspo song: xo by beyonce

"your face is all that i see, i give you everything"

 JULY 10TH, 2023, 9:46PM

It feels silly, us all being so much older and sleeping over in Jungkook’s hotel room. Although, it is a huge hotel room. Anyway, it feels like we're too old for sleepovers like this. Even Yoongi, who stayed quiet most of the car ride, groaned in annoyance.  Shouting, ‘Why did I spend so much money on a nice hotel if I was just gonna sleep on a couch?’

But Jungkook insisted and so did a still-tipsy Jimin. Namjoon was pretty neutral like always. I think he’s secretly excited though. I’m not sure if I can say the same for Yoongi. I couldn’t stop glancing at him during the car ride, examining his quick-witted retorts to Namjoon like I remembered. We’d swap eye-contact every once in a while, though fleeting, sending shock waves down to my core every time. But, the dust (my non-stop adrenaline) luckily settled once we arrived at the luxurious building. 

As we entered the room, an eager Jungkook races to his room, shuffling around to only come out with a set of clothes. And for a second, a brief moment, I swear he shrinks a couple inches. Like he’s as small as he was then. It’s not like I miss that version of him more because I can still feel he’s that boy in instances like these. But it’s nostalgic. “Here.” He says, handing me the stack. 

The sweats are soft and gray and the shirt I can smell even from here. Like laundry detergent, the one with the teddy bear on it. They feel undoubtedly expensive.

“O-Okay, I’m just gonna change in the bathroom.” I say, Jungkook nodding and pointing to the direction it’s in. I follow his finger and approach the tall door, turning the handle to enter inside. It gives me time to call Keiko and gather my thoughts. It’s been a long night filled with all sorts of things I have to sit and think about before I get back out and deal with it again.

Maybe not the yelling and shouting that occurred, but the thick awkwardness of the fact that we’re still getting used to each other. Eleven years is too long and two days is too short to recount everything we missed from each other's lives. The clock is ticking and I’m not sure how to slow down time. 

I place the clothes on the counter and reach inside my purse for my phone, opening my contacts to dial Keiko. Quickly. She picks up instantly like always. She’s great at that.

“Hey Koko, how’s everything going? Do you need a ride?”

I gulp, “N-No, I’m actually staying at their hotel tonight.”

I hear her freeze, “WHAT? You’re kidding!” 

“No, I’m not!” I whisper and cover my mouth to muffle my voice as much as I can. It would be another problem if they heard me gossiping about tonight. But I have to debrief with her, it’s what we do. 

“What do you mean by their hotel?”

 “Well it’s Jungkook’s, but everyone agreed to have a sleepover.”

“What the fuck. I wish I was there! Hook me up, dear god.” She whines. 

I laugh loudly, slapping my hand over my mouth when I realize the echoing it caused. 

“Shut up. Maybe. But anyway, I’ll be here.”

“So what’s gonna happen? You gonna snuggle up to Yoongi or what?” She says and I hear her eating on something. Probably the rocky-road she claimed to hate. Liar. 

“No, I’m not. Definitely not. We got into it tonight. Bad.” 

She gasps, “Tell me.”

I exhale softly, “It’s a long story, I’ll tell you later. But everything’s fine now. We made up.”

“You made up, really?” She says with doubt. Don’t sound so surprised, jeez. 

“Sort of. But there is one thing I wanted to tell you. Jimin got drunk and before me and Yoongi had…argued or whatever, he said ‘Yoongi isn’t the only one hung up on you.’ Talking about Jungkook. Isn’t that…crazy? What do you think it means?”

She sighs, “You know what it means, Koko. What did you expect from the boy? You guys cuddled like, every night.”

“He told me he considered me to be a sister!” I whisper-shout into the phone.

“I mean at first, yeah. But a hot girl coming to stay with seven boys every night? Come on.”

My face falls flat, my voice monotone. “I wish you’d keep some thoughts to yourself.”

“Anyway, that sounds complicated. But you’re a new Koko, new and improved. You can deal with this, I know you can. And if you wanna bail just call me up and I’ll come get you. I’ll be up for a while.” She reassures me. 

I smile, “Thanks, Keiko. Love you. I’ll see you later.”

I hang up the phone and set it down, placing my head on the counter to take a deep breath. My forehead sits on the cold marble as I try to ground myself, calm myself. I don’t want the events of tonight to tamper with me. I want to enjoy this. 

It hurts to think that they’ll be leaving in a day. That this night and tomorrow will be transient, because I miss them. I miss them like hell. I miss their laughs, their arguing. Their warm company that never fails to aid my stubborn, sad heart. As I lift my head to look at myself in the mirror, I witness the time that’s passed. The unmistakable creases on my face that have evolved as I got older. I wish they were here to see them as they came to fruition. I wish they could’ve seen and witnessed all my milestones. How did time pass by so quickly? I could’ve gotten so many more moments with them if I hadn’t left.

So many birthdays, holidays, everything. It’s not guilt that I feel, not even mourning. It's aching for all the time that I lost with them. They’ve always been my chosen family. And with Yoongi, even now I hurt when I think of everything that could’ve happened between us. Even if we stayed friends. Even if we stayed friends. 

I take a break from my feelings and put on the clothes Jungkook gave me in a hurry. I know I’ve spent an absurd amount of time in this bathroom, but I still hear them from behind this door. So I know they can’t be settling for bed already.

Tonight calls for a later bedtime. Although, I do have work tomorrow. 

JULY 11TH, 2023, 1:34AM

We’ve shared a bottle of wine or two throughout this night. Chatting about my own stories this time. All the things I’ve gotten into while living in this big city. Some stories I keep for myself, unsure of whether they’re appropriate for this late-night banter. Like the time in my work bathroom with a colleague of mine. That’s definitely unimportant. 

It isn’t long until Namjoon and Jungkook are calling it a night, surprisingly. I look at Yoongi who isn’t saying anything at all. Is he not going to bed? Should I say I’m calling it a night too just to avoid being alone with him?

I’ve wanted to talk with him ever since I saw him that night, but right now it scares me shitless.

“Kanako, you coming?” Jungkook asks me while carrying wine glasses to the sink. I revert from looking at Yoongi for reassurance, allowance, to stay back with him. I go with my gut. 

“N-No, I think I’ll stick around for a while longer.” Jungkook darts his eyes from me to Yoongi, sucking in his teeth. Is he upset?

“Well you can sleep in my bed. The three of us are taking the floor. It’s a big room, so. You know. Hope that’s okay.” His voice drips with irritation. He’s obviously discontent with me staying with Yoongi. I’ll take care of that later. 

“That’s okay with me.” I smile weakly.

He doesn’t necessarily listen to my response, instead turning his back to walk to the room. Namjoon and a sleepy Jimin bidding a good night before following suit. 

I watch them leave, counting down the seconds until they’re out of sight. It’s easier if I act like I’m distracted by them instead of talking to Yoongi. 

I grab the second bottle of wine that’s been opened by Jungkook earlier tonight, pouring myself another glass. Keeping busy. Still avoiding. I feel his eyes on me, though. I think he’s wondering if I’ll say something first. But to my surprise, he speaks. 

His isolated voice sends chills down to my abdomen, echoing in this sleek lounge space. His voice has always been low, smooth. Perfect to listen to as you’re falling asleep. I remember that so vividly. Him whispering to me as we both drifted off to sleep, kissing my sleepy face. His affection was constant. I remember the relentless hands all over my body when he got the chance. Shit, what did he say?

I widen my eyes, “S-Sorry. What was that?”

He laughs and takes a sip of the dark red liquid, talking in the glass. 

“So you and Keiko get along well?” He repeats. 

I bob my head from side-to-side, “Something like that. I’m kidding. Yes. We got along great, she’s like my sister.” There’s a loud nervousness in me that he’s not reciprocating. His words are confident, curious. I’m not used to this. Is it bad that I’m so anxious around him? Those almond eyes look ethereal beside the glow of the city lights. He’s beautiful. I wish I could take a photo of him right now. 

“That’s great.” He responds casually. 

Silence. 

I drink from my wine again, “Mmm- I listened to your solo album. It’s amazing.” I say, acting like the thought just came to mind. 

He nods, “Thanks. It took a while to make but I’m happy with the outcome. And tour was good too.”

“Right! Tour! I saw photos.” I wince at how well I’ve been keeping up with all of their extracurriculars. 

His eyes never break eye contact with me as he speaks, “What’d you think?”

I chortle nervously, “It looked really cool and thought-out. I think all of your songs are great.”

“All of them?”

Shit. The elephant in the room has stomped its way through the door. 

“Y-Yeah. All of them.” I whisper, fiddling with the stem of my wine glass. 

I want to ask, how many other songs are about me? And have you written as much about Aimee? But I’m too old to be spiteful. It’s making me gray faster. 

His veiny fingers push through his long hair, falling perfectly back into place as he sets his hand down on the kitchen counter. It suits him so well. He looks so sophisticated, and it’s still so surreal that I’m in front of him once again. Just like an inevitability, like death (morbid, I know) I had weirdly accepted that I would never see them, him, ever again. Was that selfish of me?

The reechoing of stillness makes my mind wander towards the city that never sleeps. It’s especially louder tonight during the absence of either of our voices. 

I hear the honking and bustling of city life, something that never gets old. I loved it when I first got here. It filled in the gaps of silence so I wouldn’t be forced to think so much when I was sleeping at night. When I’d be crying myself out of tears because of the long-haired man sitting beside me. I would think about the young kids, whose night was just starting. The people closing up shop, the babies being put to bed. It was easier to live outside of myself here. You can’t help but love everything around you. Even the sweaty summer and nasty rain and the smell of garbage that never leaves certain streets. It’s become my new home. Nothing like Korea or Japan. Maybe that’s the point. 

As I sit next to Yoongi, someone who reminds me of the past loneliness I used to feel, it scares me again. I’m not sure if him turning out to be a complete stranger, or the same Yoongi I used to know, is better. It’s nice to know that after all this time he can still look at me like an equal. Like I didn’t abandon him. But do I want him to have completely forgotten about the girl I used to be? I did not prepare for this in therapy. 

“I wish I had invited you to visit me.” I confess, staring off into the glass window behind him. 

He looks at me softly, “I wish you did too. But I’m here now. We’re here now. It’s okay.” He says, and I have a feeling he’s talking about us two instead of all five. It’s consoling. And there it is again, that x-ray vision he has into my thoughts. Or am I being ridiculous once more?

“Is it?” My overthinking takes over. It was eleven years ago, yes. But it was hard, it was breaking. How could I not apologize, or even ask how I can make up for it? I have so much to say, but I await his answer instead. 

He shifts, “It is. I’m sorry for…what I said at dinner. It was impulsive and not thought out. I should’ve known not to say that.”

My expression grows dejected. I feel like I should be the one apologizing, so I do. 

“Don’t be sorry. At all. I mean– it had to come up either way. I know what I did must’ve affected you all. It affected me a lot. So, I’m sorry. For not reaching out, for leaving everything unsaid.”

His lips curl into a weak smile, “We were all young. We didn’t know the full extent of what you were going through, Kanako. All is forgiven, I promise. I’m just happy to be talking with you now.” 

I nod slowly, partially accepting his forgiveness and willingness to move on. It’s hard to believe that’s all there is to it, but I want to believe him. I’m not going to blame myself for the feelings I had because of my failing career and abusive relationship, but I can feel guilt for not talking to them even after the healing. That’s what I thought was best for myself at the time, what would help me move on better. 

And maybe it did in some ways, but I now know it just feels good, as well as other things, to be under the same roof as Yoongi again.

And between the beat of silence I get the confidence to ask, “So you and Aimee?”

He throws his head back with an amused smile, “Ah- no. I just ran into her that night and we kind of- kissed. Or something. But she’s way too young for me.”

I’m glad he feels comfortable enough to tell me, but it still stings just a little bit. But they’re not even together. All this overthinking only gave me more stress. Old habits die hard, I guess. 

“I see. So you’re…”

“Single? You’re quite nosy, Kanako.”

With a slip of the tongue I say, “I love it when you say my name.” But yet, nothing about it is sensual. It’s like I’m dancing around a thought neither of us want to fully think about. There’s a line.

His gaze becomes gentler, “I know.” 

God, he knows?

He grins at me before grabbing the bottle of wine to top off my glass, saying nothing. How could he just say that? It’s impossible to read him right now, which is something I would’ve never expected. If it was eleven years back, that is. 

“I’m single.” He responds and sits back comfortably in his chair. 

His words sound premeditated, like he knew I would ask. And he would answer. It seems the both of us are being a bit self-indulgent with our questions tonight. But the way he talks to me is seemingly affectionate. He’s no longer carrying me like water in his hands. I’m the glass he’s drinking in. 

I still feel inexperienced, something he obviously isn’t anymore. I can’t leech onto anything to make me feel more at ease, not even his presence that radiates heat. 

“And you? Were you being honest at dinner or do you have a secret boyfriend?” He teases. 

“I’m not sure why I’d keep it a secret.” I laugh, “But no, no one. Just me and Keiko.”

He hums and peers around the room. “Like Jimin said, has there ever been…someone?”

I hesitate for a moment. “I was being painfully honest about that too. I’ve seen guys, I guess. But this city feels so small sometimes I think I’ve run out of options.” I inch my gaze towards him like I’m afraid to know the next answer, “You?” I ask.

“Sort of, yeah. One. I was twenty five and it was only for a year. I just got too busy and she got impatient with me, so we thought to just end it.”

“Was it hard?” I whisper. 

“Yeah it was.” He chuckles and scratches the back of his with nervousness, “I loved her but…life just gets in the way. It’s annoying. I’m over it though.”

It feels so odd to talk to him about this. Would you call it exes bonding over exes? Or lack thereof on my part. But I’m glad he’s been loved. That he found that. It’s comforting to know about him, even if I wasn’t there. It hurts, but I’m putting maturity above my feelings.

“So-”

“I wanted to-”

We speak at the same time, sharing casual laughter soon after. I let him go first. 

He puffs out, “Uh, I just– wanted to say that…I hope you didn’t feel offended. After I released those songs.” He says repentantly. 

“Oh,” I tense up, “Not at all. Not at all. If you felt so musically inclined-”

“Shut up.”

“If you felt so musically inclined to, then I can’t blame you for it, right?”

He titters slightly, swiveling his drink. I can tell he’s relieved by the way his smize stays on his face, but there’s a disinclination to him as the seconds turn into minutes. 

He taps his glass, “I meant every word, Kanako.” He says quietly.

There’s no need for repetition, I digest what he said like I’ve been starving for days. 

I hang onto every word for what feels like hours, mouth slightly open before I can figure out what I’m going to say. I enjoy seeing him like this, honest. Vulnerable. I want to savor it. It’s sparking something inside of me that I thought had been shriveled into nothing. 

“I know, Yoongi.” I make it sound like it’s about to end. This, all of this. Like the feelings we had, or have, are only being brought up in passing. But there’s nothing about this that I’m ready to finalize. I now know, ever since that time I left, that his love for me ran like the ocean. I was the combining waves to his body of water. It’s still there. Am I getting ahead of myself?

As we settle into each other's energy at this moment, it’s a shared realization that there is no fire we have to combat anymore. It’s a mutual source we both want to indulge in. Calm. It would be a lie if I said it wasn’t a stormier, thrashing feeling than I’d planned. 

But it’s all the same. 

His hand lingers face down on the wrap-around kitchen counter, begging for touch. I keep mine on my glass, not giving in just yet. It could either turn out to be embarrassing or something else I need to procrastinate from dealing with. 

“Any other songs I should know about?” I joke. 

His expression is stoic, “Most of them.” 

My heart skips a couple beats. If I didn’t know any better I’d think I was going into cardiac arrest. With his body language it seems like he’s being completely serious. Completely, utterly serious.

He keeps his gaze on his hand, chuckling to himself. 

“What?” I share his amusement with a bit of confusion. 

He clenches his jaw.

“I think I’ll go crazy if you don’t touch me, Kanako.” 

I’m stunned by his frankness, not being able to speak. Is it now that I’m suddenly at a loss? Why is it now I have nothing to say anymore? All the worry, the thoughts, the stress course through my veins pour out of me as he looks at me. His gaze can’t be more gentle, more loving. But there’s a neediness within him that’s seeping to me. I can’t deny him of that, or myself. 

“Yoongi-”

“I need– I don’t even– I’m sorry. I’m not sure why I said that.”

“You don’t?” I ask, because the answer is obvious to me. I want to touch him too. I’m letting my childlike recklessness take over. There’s not one voice in my head saying ‘no’ louder than the ones saying ‘yes’. Yes, yes, yes. 

“I don’t know where to start.” He whispers. 

“I don’t know either.” I respond. Because the answer to that is obvious as well. It’s painfully, unfortunately obvious. We just want each other, that’s all there is to it. Why speak when we can forget it all? Maybe even start where we left off? That could never happen.

His hand strides over to my face in what feels like a quiet but grand gesture, leaning his body slowly into mine. It’s impulsive, rushed. We both have no idea what we’re doing and what this will lead to. 

“Yoongi…” I breathe as he draws his lips closer to me. They’re so shiny, and I remember that cupid's bow so well. His mouth brushes over mine and before I can take another breath, he plants onto me softly. I’m almost too afraid to touch him, knowing it’ll make it all the more real. If I let myself enjoy this moment, will it go too far?

Will I expect things from him he won’t be able to give me? Because I can’t live another eleven years without him. Now that I’m tasting him again, I’m not sure how I even lasted.

It’s slow and his tongue speaks a language that makes the minimal space between us agonizing. Closer, wetter, sensual. It’s what I crave most as his mouth moves with mine in a deep rhythm. I feel the vibration of a low hum coming from this throat, causing me to release the tiniest moan only he could hear. His fingers are relentless with caresses to my jaw, neck, anywhere. 

I keep my hands in his hair, diving into the soft strands that were once mine. I follow the natural growth and end up at his neck, tousling with the hair that almost reaches his shoulders. It was never this long, never this thick. Everything about him is pillowy and soft, so easy to get lost in. He’s eating me whole, and I let him. 

But, there’s a familiar stinging of discomfort when I try enveloping him fully, something that tugs at my heartstrings. Telling me that this is all too much, it’s too painful. I can taste the spotting of wine in his saliva and can only think to pull away in a sudden movement. I need to click my heels to get back into reality, I need to go home. 

“Kanako-” He whispers, caught off guard by my swift action. 

“This is all too–I don’t know if I can do this.” I mutter breathlessly, my head still caught up in the moment we had a second ago, the feelings that are boiling to the surface. My insides are twisting and being turned inside out. This is not how I thought any of this would go.

“Don’t do that, not now.” He asserts.

I’m choking up now, the tears that live inside of me never fail to reset whenever I’m caught. But I know exactly what he’s referring to. No need to play dumb. He knew me then and he can recognize me now. Maybe not know me, not fully, but we’re intertwined together whether we like it or not. His eyes scan me, needing an answer. Don’t run away, they say. 

“I’m not trying to,” My voice shakes, looking back into his gaze again. “I just–I still, I love you.” I say, like I’ve been holding it back since last night. Because I have, every inch of my body is regurgitating those words like they were never supposed to come up. 

He doesn’t speak for a moment, causing me to get up from my seat and try to collect myself. I’m thinking he doesn’t love me back, how could he when it’s been so long? I’m so stupid. 

He takes a short breath, “Of course I love you too, Kanako. How could I stop? How could I have ever stopped?” He says almost angrily. He’s frustrated with my need to escape him again. I can sense it. 

“It’s been too long, we’re strangers.” I respond, fighting the idea that we could ever go back. 

“We need to try. I need to. I couldn’t stop writing songs about you, I couldn’t stop hoping that one day I would find you again. It was never supposed to end that way. Don’t you think so too?” He pleads, his words come out in a blurt-like manner. He’s standing with me as well, his frame still a few inches above me like it was that time ago. 

“And then what– everything just turns out perfectly? We all just live like nothing ever happened?” I shake my head in visible denial.

He takes a step closer to me, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “No, but we can figure it out. Slowly, but it can happen. Unless you don’t want it to. I can respect that, Kanako. We don’t have to be romantic. Just don’t leave. Pick up my calls, write to me, visit. Anything. Just come back to me.” He whispers. He’s stripped any wall down that stood there previously. We’re now eye-to-eye, lips closening once again. 

He’s magnetic. He’s my home. I’ve tried clicking my heels but I always end up back here, with him. Even if it was just in my dreams. But now he’s real, and how could I ever reject something that makes me feel this good? This loved?

And as he pulls me in once more, to kiss me once more, he says, “Let me in.”

So I’m now his, completely. I don’t feel spun around or twisted into nothing, I feel like his lips are the warm blanket wrapping around my aching body. His mouth aids my thoughts and his fingers ease my tense shoulders. I give in to him. He’s promised himself to me and pleaded that I come back to him. So I will. This time with no hesitation. 

We’re underneath the roof that hides the night sky but as he holds me to lengthen our kiss, I feel like the stars are twinkling above our heads. Like there’s constellations brushing against my neck and the moon is only inches away. I move our bodies closer to the couch, Yoongi’s back now pressed up against it.

He takes my hint and swiftly walks around the gray fixture, taking my hands so I follow him. I turn to him and push his chest softly so he lays down on the plush cushions, his eyes following every single movement I make. He has this smile he always used to have whenever it was just us. Whenever I’d be above him, tugging at my shirt like I am now. 

He sits up, placing his hands over mine that were about to take off my shirt. “Can I do it?” He whispers quietly, desperation leaking off every word. I nod slowly, feeling as he begins to peel off the thin fabric. His fingers brush over my stomach, causing a chill to run down my arms. He gives me goosebumps without having to do anything. 

As he has my shirt fall down on the floor, he runs his hands down my stomach slowly, curling his knuckles into the band of my skirt. He shimmies the tight material down my thighs until it pools around my ankles, leaving nothing to the imagination. His eyes carve out the small details of my body, my mind reeling every time he looked me up-and-down as if we were just two strangers ogling each other. 

Although he’s seen me before, seen all of me, that version of me doesn’t exist anymore. I have new spots and scars and a good amount of weight that wasn’t there previously. It has me feeling a little self-conscious, hoping he isn’t disappointed. I don’t feel a need for his validation, but his reassurance. 

“I don’t have my idol body anymore in case you couldn’t tell.” I joke sheepishly, dropping my head slightly to scan myself. 

He pulls me in, having me straddle his now laying body. “You mean you don’t have the same body you did when you were eighteen? That’s normal and completely, totally fine with me. I want you how you are now.” He kisses my fingers individually as he speaks. I sigh into the softness of his lips as they plant on my fingertips, needing more of him. 

I then jerk my hand from him playfully, a confused expression morphing on his face.

“I wanna see you now.” I say lowly. 

He sets his arms above him like he’s waiting to be undressed which causes a small laugh from me. I lift his shirt off of him, crawling down his body awkwardly for his pants next. “This isn’t as sexy as I’d want it to be.” I mutter.

He chuckles, “But you look cute doing it.” He reaches over to pet my head, which I realize I liked more than I’d be able to admit.

I huff and yank the ankles of his pants to get it over with, once and for all. I let the piece of clothing fall down beside the couch and go back to where I was previously. 

He hums, “As much as I like seeing you on top of me, I think we should do this properly. It is our first time, isn’t it?” 

A smile extends on my face hearing him say those words, although we’re still doing it on a couch, it’s the effort that counts, right? So I abide, letting him sit up so we can trade places. I feel much younger again with the way everything is so airy. My first time with Haneul wasn’t as loving as I had once thought it was. Nothing about that relationship was loving, but it makes me happy to know that I could do this with Yoongi. As if it was a redo, after all those other men these past eleven years. 

I’ve had good sex, don’t get me wrong. But never anything as intimate as this. 

As Yoongi hovers over me, he leans down to press his lips against mine. We get back into what was happening earlier, desperately locking into each other. Filling any gaps of space, which resided into Yoongi sneakily sliding his knee between my thighs. There’s heat radiating off of my sensitivity, including a pooling of wetness as he grinds into me. 

He looks so hot in his black boxers and I use his nearly nude body to my advantage, caressing his soft shoulders. Every part of his body is warm, it’s real. He’s real. His body has changed too. I can tell he’s been working out a little more. Which is never, ever a bad thing. I can’t get enough of him, bucking my hips into his knee further. 

“I’ll give you what you want in a moment,” He teases as his lips part from mine. He kisses down my chin to my neck, licking softly on my collarbones. As his tongue lingers on my skin he lifts my back to unhook my bra almost seamlessly. It causes a gasp from me, feeling the cold air as it bites at my breasts suddenly. His fingers make circles on the sensitive area, teasing my hard nipples. 

His mouth travels down my body but his hands stay on my chest until he’s reached the start of my underwear. I arch my back further when I feel his hot breath against my clothed heat, Yoongi pecking a kiss before he redirects his hands. “This okay?” He asks quietly while his hands play with each side of my panties. 

“Yes, yes.” I whisper quickly. I need him so badly, his mouth, his tongue. I want him inside of me, most importantly. To know what he feels like on top of me. But I can wait, especially if that means he’ll mouth-fuck me first. 

He slides down my underwear slowly, leaving me fully nude. My breath hitches when I feel his hands, quick to spread my legs. He urges me to throw a leg over the couch, so I do. This, I’m not as insecure about. Not when I’m so desperately needy.

His finger glides over the slit of my pussy, “Pretty Kanako. So wet for me. Is it? Just for me?”

I release a shaky breath from my throat, nodding slowly. 

“Let me hear you, pretty. Tell me it’s just for me.”

He’s making an absolute puddle of me, literally and metaphorically. Feeling my secretion dripping down to his already drenched finger that’s barely touched me. “Just for you. All for you.” I whine. 

My hips stutter against Yoongi’s curious mouth, “That’s my pretty baby,” He purrs into me. He lets his tongue sliver to my opening, flattening the center and licking me slowly. 

“Oh– god,” I choke out, feeling his lips suction around my clit and tugging at it teasingly. 

His mouth releases in a quiet pop– delving back into his previous motions. His tongue shamelessly digs into me, my wet mess painting his chin erotically. He hums into my pussy with devious intent, knowing the vibrations of his velvety voice would send me into a spiral.

– And it does, my hands trying to grab into anything I could to contain myself. I had to remember we were doing this with three people in the next room over, unfortunately. The only time I didn’t want those boys in the same presence as me.  I try to whisper a ‘f-faster’ but all that escapes is a sigh. I think he understands because before I know it, he uses his fingers to spread me open, covered in my slick. His eyes dart to mine,

looking into me as he plants his tongue on my vulnerable clit. My brows furrow and my mouth forms a quiet whimper, feeling him burying his face into my sloppy cunt. 

My cheeks are burning with a dark red, sweat forming at my forehead. The sight of his moppy hair and bare skin tugging at my thighs is enough to make me want to call it. I need to know how it’d feel to have all inches of his length in me. I remember how big he was– how much I would’ve given to have him tear me open then. And now the moment is so close, including my approaching orgasm. 

His tongue is greedy– and if I didn’t know any better I’d assume this act was for himself. How much he’s sucking and licking me clean, making sure I'm trembling– he loves this. 

“I c-can’t come yet– I need you..” I complain as my body says otherwise. 

He lifts his head to stop, making sure to replace his tongue with his thumb to play with my clit instead. “You sure? My Kanako doesn’t want to come all over my face? Because I know how much you loved it then.” He retorts. It’s hard to wrap my mind around having a normal conversation in the midst of my shaky legs and swollen clit, so I speak, although foggily. 

I place my wrist on my forehead, “I-I do, but I need you inside me. Please.” I plead breathlessly. 

His thumb stops and he travels to my upper body slowly, not bothering wiping the glossy slick that’s smeared on his face. Instead he rushes for a kiss, all forms of fluids being swapped between our mouths. “My needy girl.” He taunts with a smirk on his face. 

His hands travel to his boxers, taking them off swiftly. My wandering eyes still lock on his lengthy dick, seeing it bounce straight up due to how hard he’s become. There’s a familiar liquid that has the head glistening– precum. He gulps as his eyes look back to my body, hot and swollen. I’m a mess for him, I’m utterly open for him. My fingers trickle down to my saturated pussy, circling my clit to provoke him. 

His fingers grip his cock, pumping slowly as he stares at me playing with myself. He’s set in stone, groaning at the scene before him. 

“You’re beautiful, you know that?” He mutters, making gentle eye contact with me. I smile warmly as a thank you, feeling him line his cock against my opening. He pushes in enough to where the tip is fully in, moving his hands so they’re on both sides of me.  I grab a handful of his hair, bringing his head into the nape of my neck as he makes his first thrust. I let out a gasp that echoes throughout the lounge room when his thrusts become two, three, until he’s created a slow rhythm to ease us both into it. Kanako, pretty pretty Kanako. I love you so much, love being inside you, he moans into my skin.

As pleasure cases him in a haze, his movements speak for him, his cock twitching with every inch he buries into me. I’ve hit the point where I’m beyond words, just spiraling into the mess he’s created of me. All that’s coming out is pitiful whimpers as my hands grip at his hair and back. 

“Y-You’re tightening around my c-cock, you know that?” He moans in disbelief. He removes his head from my neck to sit up right, continuing to pump into me. They’re growing faster by the second but by his sultry eyes I can tell he wants to savor every moment of this. I take in the crevices that outline his skin. The soft muscles around his stomach and his veiny hands that are holding steady on my stomach. 

He’s focused on pushing himself further into me, wanting to fill up my insides with as much of his cock as he can. He slips a hand to my ankle that’s resting over the couch, placing it on his shoulder to gain more momentum. My head brushes the arm of the couch as he fastens his pace, watching as he bites his lip. “You look so good underneath me, baby. Keep your eyes on me– wanna see how you look taking all of me,” And so I do, enjoying every single second of my view of him ramming into me like he knows nothing else. 

His thumb climbs back over to my clit, rubbing it gently to induce an orgasm from me. I can only assume he’s close, seeing his mouth agape and his thrusts becoming pounds. He’s hitting that spot inside me repeatedly, the overstimulation making me forget about how quiet I’m supposed to be. 

“Yoongi…yoongi…fuck-!” His name rolls off my tongue effortlessly. 

“Give it to me, pretty. Cover my dick in your cum, please,” He grunts quietly, leaning his head back with elation.

His sweaty bangs hang over his reddened face as he pumps into me in-and-out like clockwork. I watch him clench his jaw, his hold on my calf becoming tighter as his body reaches closer and closer to release. My cunt tightens around him as the thumb he has pressed against my clit becomes too much to bear, tears pricking my eyes. “Yoongi, please–” I whimper loudly, digging my hands into his back.

He groans behind his teeth– snapping his hips to pump into my slick heat, our fluids conjoining together, making his dick glisten with a foggy whiteness. I shut my eyes quickly and let the sensations take over, a rush of warmth starting from my toes to my head. 

It makes me hazy in every sense of the word, high off the feeling of his dick hitting my sensitive spot over and over again— whilst he simultaneously circles my swollen clit with the pad of his thumb. 

“O-Oh shit–” I moan, my legs nearly going limp underneath him. I feel Yoongi slide his cock out,

grabbing a fistful of my hair to bring my face up to his dick. “Open f-for me, baby,” He demands, and I do so, having him stuff my mouth full of his length. 

I place my hands on his hips and stroke him with my tongue, suctioning his hard cock. 

“God– fuck!” He moans, tugging at my hair as he paints the inside of my mouth with white. I don’t let go from my grip on his skin, bobbing my head into him to stretch out his orgasm as much as I can. We’re both as tired as can be but watching him from below like this, seeing him unravel, is all I need to keep going. 

“Baby– baby…” He cooes as he glides his length from my mouth, collapsing from his knees and pressing his forehead against mine– breathing heavily. He grabs my face with his hands and kisses my mouth lazily, “My Kanako…I love you,” He whispers, moving his lips to scatter pecks all over my face. 

“I love you, Yoongi. I love you so much.” I reply lazily, succumbing to his sloppy kisses. He holds me like this for moments on end, forehead pressed against mine. We share each other's air as our chests move fast, heavy. I can see his tired state and yet– he’s unable to let go of me. Breathing me in as I am him, not wanting to end this just yet. 

But of course there seems to be always something, especially when it comes to the fact we just had sex on this hotel couch. Nice hotel couch, ‘kay?

“What the actual fuck.” The moment is interrupted, like a dumbbell being dropped on a glass coffee table. I’m struck with the deepest sense of horror and embarrassment, reality hitting me hard and fast. Jungkook is stood there, boxers only, rubbing his eyes as he stares at me and Yoongi. We’re both covered in sex and must smell like it too– Yoongi grabbing a pillow to throw over me. 

“Jungkook, this is– it’s-” Yoongi starts, but the young boy cuts him off.

“You guys are really…” He trails off in his scratchy-sleep voice. 

I furrow my brows angrily, so many feelings being present at once. 

“Just- let me get dressed and we can talk about this.” I urge him, darting my eyes around to emphasize the current situation. My naked body, Yoongi’s now soft dick, and a messy couch. 

Jungkook shakes his head and goes back into his room to get dressed as well, is what I choose to assume. The door shuts quietly and I turn to Yoongi– my eyes wide. “Fuck. Fuck.” I whisper yell at him. 

“I’m sorry, I know-”

“I need to talk to him.”

“Kanako, he’s older now. He isn’t fifteen anymore, don’t you think he can handle it?” Yoongi questions. I bite my lip and pick up my clothes from the floor, deciding to put Yoongi's bigger shirt on instead of my tight one. I don’t bother snapping my bra back on– too much work. 

I answer while changing, “There’s other conflicts at hand. I think you know what they are.” I respond. Yoongi grows faint, only nodding. 

As I struggle to put on my skirt I decide to leave it off, knowing the baggier top will cover whatever my underwear can’t. “Just let me talk to him. I’ll be back. Tell him to meet me out there.” I say evenly, pointing my gaze to the balcony. 

Yoongi sighs in acceptance and plants a kiss on my forehead, “As long as you come back.” 

JULY 11TH, 2023, 3:30AM

I stand on the balcony, arms resting on the railing. There couldn’t be anything more nostalgic than standing out here. Under the stars in this summer air. Reminds me of all those good and bad moments I had in their dorms. This would be the perfect way to end this night– if it wasn’t for what just happened. 

I hear Jungkook behind me, his hand closing the sliding door. “Hey.” He mutters. 

“Jungkook…” I say almost immediately, needing to hash whatever it is to come.

“You know it’s funny,” He shifts, walking next to me with his hands stuffed in his pockets.“When I got here at first, I didn’t even know it had a balcony. It’s covered behind those curtains, but I felt drawn to it. So I opened them and discovered this. You were the first thing I thought of when I got out here.”

“Really?” I ask, entertaining the sudden change in topic. If it keeps me from having to talk about what he walked into, I’ll gladly do so. 

“Kanako, you pop up into my head at least once a day.”

“For the past eleven years?”

His mouth stutters before he speaks, “Never skipped a day. I…don’t think any of us went a full twenty-four hours without thinking of you.” 

I whisper a small ‘oh’, looking at him fondly. The night sky shadows his face perfectly, following the curvature of his nose to his lips. That lip ring, I can’t deny it looks great on him. My eyes

can’t help but trail to the sleeve on his arm, scattered in permanent ink. I crave for the mutuality we had before. But I don’t regret doing what I did with Yoongi, even if it makes me selfish. 

“What about you?” He meets my eyes, “Did you ever think about me?”

I ache at his voice, hearing him ask that. Like he should know. He needs to know. 

“Every day.” I confess easily. I’ve been needing to say that. “I’m sorry I didn’t call…or-or pick up. I wasn’t strong enough. I couldn’t…” My voice gets shaky and my throat gets caught. 

He wraps his arm around me casually, like he used to before. This time it’s able to loop around my shoulder fully, and it covers more. It’s solid and warm, comforting. 

“I forgive you.” He says, placing a kiss on my head. I nuzzle into his embrace, accepting the forgiveness I don’t think I deserve. Maybe I will one day, but I’ll spend the rest of my life making up for everything I lost. 

“Thank you, Jungkook.” I smile, persevering through the stinging that’s currently ripping me in two. A beat of silence floats above us, but it isn’t unwanted. It’s singing softly, like background music. I settle into the darkness of the sky, enjoying the feeling of having him here again. 

I always dreamt about this. About seeing them, him, Yoongi, all over again. I’m so content. But still, there’s a question. Undeclared queries my mind is aching to figure out the answer to.

“Jungkook–”

“I know.” 

“But-”

“I’ll get over it.” 

He sucks in his teeth, nodding as if accepting his fate. I shake my head and separate my body from his. He looks at me like I’m being difficult, “Kanako, let’s not do this.” He argues.

I bite the inside of my cheek, “I can’t…be truly happy with Yoongi if you’re in pain. It’s not fair.”

His expression softens. It’s almost like he’s the eldest, the one to talk me down. It makes me devastated to see him take on this role. The bigger person, the mature one. 

“I can’t be truly happy if you’re not. I love you, so that means I want the best for you. I-I would’ve fought for you. I could’ve. God Kanako– the things I would’ve done to have you–” He chuckles to himself, running a hand through his messy hair, “But you’ve never been mine.” He finishes, pupil’s still focused on me. 

You’ve never been mine. Those words pain me, thinking of what he must’ve felt through all of this. The heartbreak, the loss, and now the rejection. If only I could feel what he felt, if I could aid his pain in some way. The thought of giving up Yoongi for Jungkook is not at all an easy one, not one I’d choose in this lifetime. The boy was never that to me. if I could be two different people, just so he could have a part of me in the way he wants, I would. 

But that’s not possible. It never will be. 

I exhale heavily, processing everything he’s just said. Everything that’s happened the past few hours. 

“How did it even come to that? The last thing I remember…” I whisper.

“It wasn’t until you were gone, like really really gone, Kanako. I was just a kid, I didn’t know what those feelings were. How I felt about…a life with you. One that was different than I initially thought. And when I finally did I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I needed to talk to you, to know if that could ever happen.”

“Is that why? You called for-for months?”

He looks down, “Towards the end, yeah. Until it was clear that you didn’t want to be…known anymore. I know different now, obviously. But, it broke me. I was so angry that every girl I was ever with was compared to you. Every girl I wanted was just a replica of you. I mean– whatever. It’s…whatever.” He shrugs and shifts his gaze back to the streets before us. 

I peer my head over to him, “I’m sorry, Jungkook. I’m so sorry. I wish…that I could-”

“Don’t do that to me, Kanako. Please.” He mutters, still refusing my direction. 

I reach my finger for his chin, tilting it towards me. There’s watery tears pooling his eyes, making me crumble at the sight. I would do anything to heal his hurt, to make this all the easier. But would it be selfish of me to choose Yoongi? There is no other option for me, besides no one at all. 

I don’t love Jungkook the way he wants me to, I don’t think I ever could. He holds a big piece of my heart, one made especially for him. He fits into the crevice so perfectly, but the space for anything more is nonexistent. I could never kiss him the way I do Yoongi, never look at him like a lover. He’s my Jungkook. While Yoongi holds the position of soulmate, Jungkook is my twin flame. Connected by familiarity and nostalgia, everything that has to do with the word ‘home.’

He smiles, the one he does where I can see his two front teeth. He’s back. 

“I won’t. Just stay by our side again, okay?” He says, though I know through layers of pain.

He almost jumps at me– bringing me in for a tight hug. I go on my tip-toes slightly to rest my chin on his shoulder, surrendering all my tension into his arms. “I’ll stay. I’ll stay, Kookie.”

He hums and rocks me slightly, from side-to-side. I reach my hand over his arm to wipe the small drops that were close to running down my face. This time, and maybe one of the firsts, the tears being happy ones. Pure, indescribable bliss runs through my body like clear river water, knowing I’m back with them for good.

“You’ll be here tomorrow, right? We can go to breakfast and maybe some art galleries?” Jungkook sniffles, parting from the hug. 

I sigh whilst my body cringes, thinking of work. Fuck. 

“I have to go to work tomorrow, my boss needs me to review some stuff.” I whine, showing my blatant annoyance. 

He frowns, “You can’t call out?”

I puff out, placing my hands on my hips. “Jungkook.”

“Sorry, sorry. That’s okay, I suppose. But you’ll make it to visit us before our flight? It’s at 6 pm, but you can see us at four-thirtyish, before we head out so you’re not caught by paparazzi or something.”

I nod quickly, “Yes, absolutely. I can do that.”

Some quietness passes, he shuffles his feet awkwardly. 

“What?” I squint, confused. 

“Well, what about…after? Will we hear from you? WIll you…visit?” He mumbles coherently enough to where I can understand. I hesitate, but only for a millisecond. I’m sure of it now, all of it. I won’t run away. Not when it’s good for me. And they’re good for me. 

A part of me flickers thinking of Korea again. But I think it’ll look different, feel different. I’m embracing the old Kanako as much as the new one. If anything, I’m excited to experience it as the person I am now. See it in a different lens. Maybe I’ll visit the Han River again, ride bikes with Namjoon and have picnics with Yoongi. 

And most importantly, I know my mothers spirit resides there. She isn’t a ghost to me anymore, something I’m afraid of. Keiko’s made it easier to celebrate her. I can do that again. With them. 

I reassure the young boy, “I’ll call, text, send letters, and facetime. And…maybe I’ll stop by for a visit or two. Possibly stay at your place?” I bite my lip, staring up to him teasingly. Knowing he’ll definitely like the idea of me sleeping over like all those times before. 

He shrugs like it’s no big deal, “Sure, yeah. Whatever. You’re gonna have to tell Yoongi that he’s gonna have to split the time up…or we’ll just share the bed again.”

“I’m nearly thirty, Jungkook. I can’t do that.”

He pouts. 

I roll my eyes in response, “Ok. Maybe.” 

The sliding door opens once more, a now-dressed Yoongi peering from inside. Jungkook tenses just a bit, not saying anything as he enters. 

“Everything..okay?” Yoongi asks, folding his arms to protect himself from the slight cold that lingers. 

I smile at Jungkook who in turn eases back up. 

“I was actually just telling Jungkook,” I turn back to Yoongi, “That I’ll be visiting you guys before you head off for the airport. Work and stuff.” I finish. Jungkook nods in agreement, shoving me playfully. “Tell him what else.” He whispers. 

I suck in a breath, “Andddd, I’ll be visiting you soon. In Korea. So don’t get sick of me just yet.” 

He follows to where me and Jungkook are, placing his elbows on the balcony railing. We all look at each other fondly, taking mental pictures of this moment. 

Yoongi exhales, “If you're the one taking care of me, I hope I get sick all the time.” 

Jungkook cringes, “That was so bad, hyung.” 

JULY 11TH, 2023, 4:27PM

There’s been many times throughout my work day that I’ve fallen asleep. If it wasn’t for this day being especially busy, I would’ve passed out on my desk. But everything in me was fighting to stay conscious. Not because I was needed, but because of the boys. 

Embarrassingly so, they were my main priority of the day. I made sure I got everything done just in time to clock out early, rushing to gather my things and speeding out the door. 

Now I sit in an Uber in the middle of traffic. The hotel they’re staying at is ten minutes away by car but fifteen minutes on foot. I bounce my leg anxiously as I dart my gaze from my phone to the busy road. The minutes are passing quickly and I can’t seem to slow time down. 

“Five o’clock traffic, right?” The driver laughs, tapping the wheel to the song that’s playing on the radio. 

My brows are furrowed and I’m biting my lip, hard. Ignoring whatever the man at the front said when my thoughts become deafening. 

Shit. I have no choice. 

It’s already four-thirty, so I grip the door handle and apologize profusely. 

“Sorry! Sorry! I’ll pay you for the full thing! Bye!” I exclaim, opening the door. I grab my bag and throw it over my body, cross-bodying it. I look down to my sneakers that I swapped out before I left for work, thanking God I didn’t forget my usual routine. New York is the most walk-able, non-walk-able city to ever exist. You always need a pair of these if you are gonna go anywhere. Or, suffer for the intention of beauty. That, I’ve done plenty. 

Anyway, I start running. Full on sprinting. I know starting off with such speed will only tire myself out. But, I need to get there on time. I can’t have them thinking I’m bailing on them. As I pass the confused, scared people I grow to be beyond shame at this point. 

I throw my hands over my breasts to keep them still, again, beyond shame. I pass by stores, outlets, apartments, and this run is probably the most cardio I’ve done since my idol days. I can see the entrance of the hotel inching closer, yet I have so many crosswalks I still need to pass. 

One by one I wait every single time. Safety first? 

I’m a heavy-breathing, sweaty-hairline mess by the time I’ve met with the last crosswalk. There’s already paparazzi hiding behind cars and bushes, ready to sneakily snapshot the moment those boys leave the building. 

I have to think fast as I approach the hotel, not knowing how I could possibly hide my face. I could not, in any shape or form, have my face back in the tabloids connected to BTS’s name. There’s already enough of that in the news now, considering the release of their book. 

I did snoop around during my lunch break, seeing old photos that somehow leaked. Ones where I know staff took them, which is disappointing knowing they probably turned those in just for a couple hundred bucks. It’s nothing defaming to the boys or me, just private moments I wish had stayed private. 

So, my name is already circulating around. I dig in my bag for an old face mask that’s been there for months, probably. I throw it on my face and release my hair from my ponytail, attempting to hide as much of my features as I can. 

I take a deep breath as I begin the pathway to the hotel doors. I attempt to look as casual as I can, passing the paparazzi as a regular city-goer. Just a very rich woman who is always staying at this hotel, nothing to see. Nothing to notice. 

I reach my hand for the door handle until it bursts open, knocking me to the ground suddenly. Namjoon stands with luggage in hand, stunned and apologizing profusely before really understanding what just happened. I too am confused, rubbing my butt in pain and the brightest red shading my cheeks. I just got knocked down in front of all these paparazzi, and as I see Jimin my eyes widen when he shouts loudly, “KANAKO! NAMJOON, YOU IDIOT!” 

The blonde, leather-jacketed man drops his suitcase to run to my rescue, helping me from the ground. The snapshots of cameras become faster, flashier, seeing the very popular star assisting the woman they now know as Kanako Fujishima.

The retired, scandalous idol. 

Jungkook and Yoongi are close behind, witnessing the sight of my disheveled state. 

JK splits through Joon and Jimin, “Kanako, we thought you couldn’t make it!” He exclaims, hugging me even with the prowling eyes. 

I hold him firmly, warmly. Feeling relief knowing I could still see them off.

“I jumped out of my Uber to be here if that tells you anything. I had to see you guys before you left, you know.” I smile through my teeth as I speak. 

Yoongi peers from Jungkook's broad shoulders in a baggy white button-up, paired with even baggier black sweats. He looks amazing even with such little effort, and I couldn’t be happier to see his face. 

The events of last night rush past the walls of my mind, having to push them down if I was ever wanting to speak normally again. I attempt to not become a stuttering mess, feeling like a nervous mess with a school crush.

“Hi Yoon.” We share a breathy laugh before he pulls me in his arms as well. 

“You’ve never called me that before.” He says, his embrace making all of my surroundings suddenly melt into the back of my mind.

The cameras haven’t halted their flashing and I try not to picture the headlines in my head when I hear them, overlapping one another. 

He pulls away from me, taking a risky hand to caress my face. Pulling the face mask off my face, he tucks it into his pocket.

“Yoongi, there’s people–”

“I know.”

He eyes my lips in a swift move before dipping his head to kiss me. His cupid bow lines perfectly with mine, moving in a soft flow. It’s nothing ostentatious by any means, not even heated. It’s short and enough to say something, but not shout it. 

I’m the first to break the kiss in an anxiety-induced cloud, looking at him, my expression completely bewildered. 

“So…” I say in one breath, pursing my mouth in an even line. I look around to the gawking pedestrians and then to Yoongi, who’s enamored…by me? He has an uncomplicated gleam in his eyes that isn’t fading. His hand drops to his side, head nodding to the paparazzi. 

“They don’t matter to me, just you. I love you, Kanako.” He states, his sure gaze pressing into my unraveled smile. 

“I love you. I love you,” I repeat, giving him one last kiss before grabbing his suitcase to hand to him. 

He accepts it hesitantly, brushing our hands together. The boys taking that as the cue to start moving into the car. They all give me more hugs, more temporary good-byes as they step inside the shiny, black vehicle. 

It’s bittersweet, seeing them getting ready to leave. Bitter because I can’t wait to see them, him, again.

But sweet because I know I will see them again. I’m strong enough now. There’s not a doubt in my mind that I’ll be on the next flight to Seoul as soon as I’m able to. And who knows? Maybe I’ll gain the courage to relocate. Perhaps Keiko and I can use a change of scenery. She’s never been to South Korea, and I know with her and the boys by my side, I’ll soothe into it. 

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

I’m too excited not to. 

Before Yoongi enters the car he turns to me, giving me a gummy smile that buzzes through my body instantaneously. 

“I’ll see you back home.” He says.

click here to start from the beginning!

an: holy shit you guys. this has been so healing and so fun for me to write this past month. seeing this community of people enjoy my writing has been so extremely eye-opening and crazy since this has always been a passion of mine! thank you, thank you, thank you for tuning into to all chapters of cool about it! and to readers who are joining after it’s all finished, thank you too for keeping it alive!

im thinking about doing little drabbles or one-shots here and there (of all the members bc ot7) as well so stay tuned for that!

don’t get sick of me just yet!

love you all. thank you.

[cicimunson]

Sweet Child of Mine

Series Summary: You’re Eddie’s former best best friend. The two of you drifted apart freshman year of high school and now you’re more enemies than anything else. Despite the hostility between the two of you, you still come around to help out with his eleven-month-old sister, Emma, who he and Wayne keep most of the time due to his father being in jail and his mother being an addict.

Also, I know Sweet Child O’ Mine didn’t come out until 1988, but the song is just so perfect for the story.

Pairings/Characters: Eddie Munson x Female Reader, Wayne Munson, OC characters Emma Munson, Wendy Munson and Greg Thompson.

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: Eddie is high/drunk, baby is upset, Eddie’s mother is an addict, implications that Eddie was abused/neglected as a child, verbal abuse from Eddie’s father. (sort of in a flashback) I think that’s everything, please let me know if I missed something!

Part 2|Part 3|Part 4|Part 5|Part 6

“Thank God you’re here, she’s been crying for an hour.”

You offer Wayne a sympathetic smile and take the screeching toddler from his arms. “Go get some sleep, I got her.”

He pats your shoulder before heading to his room.

You walk Emma around the living room, patting her bottom and singing softly. She continues to cry, rubbing her eyes with her little fists. She smacks at your chest, clearly trying to communicate some need that isn’t being met. You offer her some juice, check her diaper, and continue to walk her around whispering soothing words of comfort.

After a half hour of trying to calm her, you’re feeling a little bit like crying yourself.

“Shh, sweet girl, it’s okay." 

You check her temperature, no fever.

Sometimes kids cry just to cry. You remind yourself.

You sit on the couch and rock her back and forth. She’s overly-tired and fighting her sleep, closing her eyes for a few seconds and then jerking awake to sob some more.

Eddie stumbles through the front door, bloodshot eyes landing on you.

"What are you doing to her?”

You glare at him. “Nothing! She’s been crying for a while now is all. She doesn’t want to fall asleep.”

“Give me my sister.” He reaches for her but you lean back from him.

“You’re high and probably drunk, too. I have a contact high just smelling you. No way you’re holding her.”

“Judgy bitch.” He mutters.

“Go take a shower and get some sleep, I got her.”

He scowls at you. “You’re not my mother.”

“Someone here has to act like an adult.” You retort.

Eddie flops down on the couch beside you and cradles Emma’s head in his hand, tracing a finger over her cheek. He starts singing softly, smiling down at her.

Whoa, sweet child of mine.

Whoa, sweet love of mine.

Emma is asleep within minutes, her head dropping to your shoulder.

Eddie looks up at you with a smirk.

“Shut up.” You mumble, not letting him see how grateful you are.

You carry her down the hall and put her in the crib, smoothing her dark curls out of her face.

Eddie stands in the doorway watching you.

“Night-night, Em.” You whisper softly. You switch on her nightlight and tiptoe out of the room.

Eddie grabs your arm as you walk past. “You don’t have to keep coming over here. Wayne and I can handle things just fine.”

You snatch your arm away. “Your uncle is the one that called me, asshole. You weren’t here to help and he needed some sleep before work.”

“My plans ran long, is all. Not that I have to justify myself to you.”

“Never said you did.” You march past him and into the kitchen, starting water for the dirty dishes in the sink.

“You can go. I got it.”

“Your uncle pays me to cook and clean and help with Em, Eddie.”

“I told you, we don’t need your help.”

“Then tell your uncle to fire me. Until then, I work for him, not you.”

You can feel him staring holes in the back of your head. You turn to meet his gaze.

“Do you really hate me that much, Eddie? I’m literally here to help out. You think you’d want that, someone who cares about Emma and wants to take some of the weight of everything off your uncle. Are you really that selfish?”

He looks murderous.

You turn back to the sink and finish up the dishes. 

“Tell your uncle I’ll be over right after school to get Emma.”

“I can get her.”

“Will you be sober?” You deadpan.

“Fuck you, Y/N.”

“I’ll be here at three-thirty.” You leave before he can say anything else.

__________

You carry groceries into the trailer, calling out a greeting to let Wayne know you’re there.

To your surprise, Eddie comes down the hall, holding a finger over his lips.

“Shh, Em just laid down for a nap.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I live here. So the question is, what are you doing here? I told you I’d watch her today.”

“You were low on milk last night, and baby wipes. I got Emma some more apples too, she’s been really into them the past week.”

“You could have just made me a list or something, you don’t have to shop for us.”

“It’s not for you, it’s for Em.”

“I can buy her what she needs.”

“Gee, thanks Y/N. Oh, you’re welcome Eddie. Happy to help.” You roll your eyes.

“Anyways, what do I owe you?”

“Nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

“Just tell me how much the damn groceries cost.”

You ignore him and stick the milk in the fridge.

“Are you sure you got her, Eddie?”

He scowls. “She’s my responsibility.”

“Actually, she’s your mom’s responsibility. She coming to get her this weekend?”

“Who knows?”

“She doing any better?”

“None of your fucking business, Y/N.”

You drop the subject immediately. Eddie has always been very touchy about his mother, even before when you were friends. He rarely opened up about her. 

You knew that she was a recovering addict, that she’d only agreed to letting Wayne and Eddie keep Emma through the week because she was too high to take care of her. She got Em on the weekends sometimes, giving Eddie and Wayne a much-needed break, except they would worry and miss her the entire time she was gone.

You hear Emma start to fuss and hurry down the hall to her, Eddie on your heels.

“Hi, babygirl!” You pick her up and snuggle her, savoring her sweet baby smell. “Did you get a good nap?”

“She was only asleep for like twenty minutes. I don’t know why she isn’t sleeping good.” He looks worried.

“Babies do that sometimes. It’s probably just a phase.” You reassure him, propping Emma on your hip.

“She’s so tired, though.”

“You all are.” You murmur knowingly.

He nods, reaching out to tweak Emma’s cheek. She instantly reaches for him and he grins triumphantly at you, lifting her from your arms to blow raspberries on her neck.

“That’s right Em, I’m your favorite.”

You roll your eyes. “I’ll go cut her up an apple.”

Eddie plops down on the living room floor with her, handing her a stuffed bear.

“Mr. Beary is very happy to see his best friend.” He says in a gruff voice.

“I hope that’s not what he sounds like cause that’s terrifying.”

He laughs, the first time you’ve heard him laugh in awhile.

You peel the apple and cut it into tiny pieces, smushing them a little with a spoon. 

“I got it.” Eddie takes the bowl from you and starts feeding her.

You sit on the couch and study Eddie’s features. No bloodshot eyes, no hint of weed lingering in the air.

Eddie was a great brother to Emma, you knew that. He adored her. You start to feel guilty for your little dig about him being too wasted to care for her last night.

Emma drools onto Eddie’s hand and he wipes it on his shirt, making silly faces at her.

“Sweet girl but sooo messy.” He teases, kissing her plump cheeks.

You smile softly. This was this Eddie that you knew, the soft-spoken, kind-hearted Eddie. Not the abrasive Eddie from school that was loud and obnoxious and had a permanent scowl etched on his face.

You supposed he had to be that way. He was constantly on-guard at school, with the bullies, with the teachers that didn’t like him. He never relaxed.

But before high school, he’d been more like this. Sweet. Adorable, even. Then you had gotten into sports and started dating a guy from the football team and Eddie suddenly didn’t want to be friends anymore. It was as if you’d become enemies overnight.

Eddie catches you staring and frowns. “You can go, you know. I told you I’ve got her.”

“Maybe I wanna spend some time with her, too, Eddie.”

“Get your own sister.” He quips.

“Why would I need my own sister when Em is just so cute?” You croon, reaching down to smooth her curls.

He smiles. “She is the best, isn’t she?”

There’s a knock from outside and Eddie tenses. You immediately know it’s his mom at the door.

You scoop Emma up. “I’ll get her changed and get her stuff together.”

You carry Em to her room and change her diaper, sitting her on the floor with her teddy bear while you collect stuff she’ll need for the weekend.

Extra clothes, she always comes back looking dirty. I wonder if Wendy has any milk.

You sigh when you hear Eddie and his mom start arguing. The few times you’ve been around for Emma’s trip to Wendy’s, you’ve heard her and Eddie battle it out.

Not that Eddie isn’t completely justified in his anger towards her. When his dad went to prison, Wendy had a chance to step-up and do better for Eddie. She failed him at every turn.

You stick your head in the living room. “Hi, Wendy. Here’s her bag.”

Eddie turns and glares at you. “She’s not going. Mommy dearest is as high as a kite.”

You study Wendy’s face. She’s crying softly, but she doesn’t look inhibited. You don’t smell anything on her, don’t see any track marks on her arms.

“Eddie, I’m clean. I swear. I just want to see my little girl.”

You touch Eddie’s sleeve. He grabs your arm and propels you down the hall into Emma’s room.

“My sister isn’t going anywhere with her.”

“Eddie, she looks fine. I didn’t see anything to indicate that she was high.”

“She tried to hug me. She’s high.”

You wince. Eddie had hated physical affection as long as you’d known him. You knew it was because his dad had been so rough on him. His little sister was the only exception. Eddie smothered her with kisses and hugs, never missing an opportunity to love on her. You knew it was because he was denied the same affection growing up.

Don’t cry. Don’t be a little pussy. Real men don’t need their mommies to hold them. Grow up.

“Get her out of here.” His voice wobbles, and he sits on the floor beside Emma, picking her up and hugging her close.

You go back into the living room.

“Wendy, I’m sorry, it’s not a good time. Maybe next weekend.”

She nods, looking remorseful. “I don’t know why I tried to hug him. I knew better.”

“I know.”

“But he’s doing good? And my Emma?”

You nod. “Everyone’s fine.”

“Thank you for taking care of my family.” She says softly, wiping tears off her face. “I’m gonna get better for them, I promise.”

“I believe you will, Wendy.”

She leaves and you go back down the hall.

Eddie is sitting in the beat-up rocker Wayne had thrifted, holding Emma to his chest. You see that she’s finally starting to sleep.

Eddie meets your eyes, and for a brief moment you can see relief and gratitude on his face. It quickly changes to an expression of annoyance, and he motions for you to leave.

You make Emma up a bottle for when she wakes up and stick it in the fridge before leaving. You straighten up the living room and pick up the few toys scattered in the living room and carry them down the hall.

Eddie is asleep in the rocker, holding Emma tightly. You ease her from his arms, worried that he might drop her. You lay her in her crib and then drape a blanket over Eddie, shutting off the overhead light as you leave.

[winter-leftovers]

Til The End Of Eternity || Chapter eleven: Smother (11/?)

(Douxie Casperan x f!reader)

Summary: Y/n is trying to figure her life out but is going to be hard since her brother is the new trollhunter and she is plagued by dreams and feelings she doesn’t understand.

Chapter Summary: Y/n learns about Douxie’s new feelings for her. Strickler needs protection

Word count: 2582

Warnings: lil bit of angst?

(Season 1 Episode 20, 21,23,24)

Song?: Smother by Daughter

Previous - Next

Masterlist

“Jim is in more danger than we thought” Y/n grabbed one of Blinky’s books and showed him the page she was reading “Angor Rot made a bargain. He obtained his magic but cursed his soul into a single ring, the Inferna Copula” she pointed to the picture of the ring.

“Mm, picture. Helpful” said Aaarrrgghh.

“Who wears the ring, controls him” Y/n continued. When her magic came back, a lot of knowledge came back too.

“It says here that Angor’s been stealing the souls of Trollhunters in a blasphemous attempt to fill the void ever since” Blinky grabbed the book from Y/n’s hands. After a moment he turned to his friend “You don’t have to hide it from me. I might only have two eyes, but I can see clear as day. It’s obvious”

After their quest to Gatto’s cave, Blinky had returned differently. The once blue troll was now…a human.

Y/n straight herself up. She had sensed a shift in Aaarrrgghh behavior but said nothing in fear of overstepping.

“Ever since my human deformity you have been…distant” Blinky complained.

Y/n frowned. She wasn’t expecting that.

“Uh…yes. Distant” the bigger troll nodded.

“I may look different but I’m the same Blinky. How about to cheer you up, maybe later today, I could rent a mini-van we could go for a drive? Something with tinted windows, of course” Blinky offered with excitement. He was desperate to fix the problem that had separated from his friend “I hear we are not too far away from the world’s largest thermometer! I bet you could eat it!”

“Mm, not today” Aaarrrgghh shook his head and left the library.

“Perhaps another time, my dear friend” Blinky said as he watched his friend leave.

“I’m sorry, Blinky” Y/n tapped his shoulder in an attempt to calm his sadness.

Blinky sighed, still looking at the door.

—

Y/n walked down the stairs of her house in a hurry. She overslept and was late to her shift at the store.

“Hey, m-“ she stopped when she saw Blinky sitting on the couch. She furrowed her brow. Why would the troll be here?

“Oh, good, good. Good afternoon, Mr. President Eisenhower” Blinky said into the phone.

Y/n rolled her eyes “Great cover” she thought.

“I suppose I could pencil you in” he stood up and walked away to a place where Barbara couldn’t hear him.

Y/n stood still at the foot of the stairs, observing Blinky mumbling into his phone.

“Angor Rot is in the school” she heard him say.

She took a deep breath and said “Mr. Blinky, do you need a ride to the school? I could give you one” she already had her hand on the door.

“Oh, yes, yes. Thank you, very much” Blinky nodded nonstop.

They were out the door and in Y/n’s car before Barbara could say something.

She started her old car and prayed for no transit.

“Do you think I could, you know, drive?” Blinky turned to her.

Y/n turned to him. Eyes wide open. She couldn’t believe his timing.

“Not today but someday” he continued.

“No” she stepped on the accelerator.

By the time they got there the fight was over. The police was there making sure all the kids were there.

“Master Jim” Blinky ran to Jim, Toby and Claire.

“Is everyone okay?” Y/n asked “Sorry for the delay. We wanted to help but we had to make a couple bathroom breaks” she gave Blinky a dirty look.

“Oh dear!” Blinky stomach gurgled.

“How did you survive Angor Rot?” Y/n asked ignoring the troll.

“Long story” Jim sighed and turned to where Strickler was standing “Have you heard of the Inferna Copula?”

“Indeed, I have” said Blinky. He and Y/n shared a look after seeing the ring on the changeling’s hands.

—

“Okay. We wait until he’s asleep” said Jim.

“I use my shadow staff to get us in” added Claire.

“And I ever so gently remove the ring from his finger”

“Woah. Hold up there, Mr. Storyteller. Do changelings even sleep?” Toby interrupted his friend.

“Yes, but we don’t know Strickler’s schedule” Y/n explained through the phone.

The kids were reunited in Claire’s house planning how to steal the Inferna Copula from Strickler, Y/n couldn’t go because she had to make up for being late to her shift.

“Good point. New plan” said Jim “We spike his coffee with extra strength cold medicine.

“I use my shadow staff”

“And I brin my warhammer in case that doesn’t knock him out”

“And I ever so gently…”

“Wait. What if he’s not alone? His office was guarded last time” interrupted Claire.

“Okay, fine. We spike the coffee”

“Shadow staff”

“I use my warhammer to take out his goons”

“Then, I ever so gently remove the ring”

“But what if it doesn’t come off?” Toby interrupted.

“Why would it not come off?” Jim was getting nervous.

“Oh lord” Y/n said to herself.

“I don’t know. Maybe it’s glued on, or he added a few pounds” Toby explained his reasoning.

“Why would it be glued on, you dingus?” Claire said.

“You said be ready for every precaution!”

“He’s waking up!” Screamed Claire.

“Oh, how is he waking up? This isn’t even really happening!” Complained Jim.

“Cut off his hand!” Claire screamed again

“What?”

Y/n giggled. She could see the desperation in his brother’s eyes.

“Use your sword. Hurry do it!” Claire insisted.

“No, I’m not gonna cut—“

“Do it! Do it! Before it’s too late”

“Wait!” Y/n stood up.

The man that was still hanging out in the store looked at her.

“Sorry” she whispered. She sat back down and turned to the side so he wouldn’t hear her.

“If you cut his hand you cut mom’s hand too”

“Oh, I forgot. Angor Rot’s binding spell” Jim sighed “We’re not ready. There’s too much risk”

The costumer came up to the register and Y/n had to put her phone down.

“We’ll figured it out, Jim” she said before hanging up.

After the last buyer left, she was finally free. Outside the sun was setting. The sky was a beautiful pink shade. Around this time, the people of Arcadia are already home or on their way, leaving the streets almost empty.

She put the store keys on her bag and stretched her arms, her elbow cracked after holding the phone for so long.

Y/n crossed the street. It’s been three days since she started avoided walking by the library were Douxie worked. She has spent a lot of time with Douxie lately and she was afraid that she was smothering him. Of course, all she wanted was to keep the routine they had the last couple of weeks: go to the library, scratch Archie’s head and hang out with Douxie until his shift at Benoit started and then go home but she was scared it was too much. What if she was too much? Maybe she should give him some space and focus on her training for a while.

Y/n lifted her eyes from the floor to see if the stoplight had changed and saw them. Douxie and the pink haired girl that worked at HexTech, Zoe, they were just a couple steps away from her. Y/n started to get close go them to say hi when he heard him:

“I don’t know how to tell her! I mean, I don’t want to be rude”

“It’s not rude to set a boundary” Zoe replied. She seemed annoyed “If she’s annoying tell her to stop”

“But she has been so nice. I don’t know, Zoe” he scratched his head.

Y/n felt the blood rush to her ears. It couldn’t be.

“Listen, I already told you this last week. Talk to her”

The stoplight shifted and everyone keep walking but Y/n just stood there, watching them leave.

Y/n’s soul had fallen to her knees. She felt her blood stopping in place, her eyes filling up with tears. She felt light-headed. Her heart was broken. She had smothered him and he was too kind to tell her.

A thunder erupted making them stop. The cold rain started to fall. Everyone rushed to get protection except Y/n that stood there, watching the spot where Douxie had told Zoe he didn’t want her

“Are you okay, kid?” An old man holding an umbrella stopped next to her.

“Yes” she sighed. Her eyes wouldn’t leave the now empty spot.

“Let me help you cross the road” the man offered.

She nodded.

The man grabbed her arm and guide her across the street, stopping under the roof of some store so she wouldn’t get more wet.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to call anyone?” He put his hand on her shoulder

Y/n lifted her eyes from the floor and looked into the man’s pale blue eyes. He was much taller than her.

“No, but thank you for your kindness” she smiled.

The man smiled back.

“You remind me of my kid. Head always in the clouds” he laughed and left her under the roof.

Y/n got home and went directly to the bathroom. She dropped the wet clothes on the floor and sat in the shower. The hot water melted the sadness off her skin. Her mind was numb. No thought went through her head, just the water hitting her back. She waited for the tears to fall but they never did. Eventually, she gave up and stood up.

When Y/n got out of the shower she stepped on something hard. She lifted her foot and saw her pebble, the pebble that she thought was on her bag.

“Maybe Al dropped it here” she thought, taking the pebble to her chest.

Y/n dragged her feet to her bedroom. Her body didn’t have energy, every single bit of it left through the drain.

Eventually, she dressed up and threw herself into the bed. In the darkness, she felt something or someone stepping on her mattress but she couldn’t care. The void had swallowed her.

“What happened?” Al stood next to her head.

Y/n sighed in response.

“Doesn’t matter” he said as he curled himself next to her neck “Tomorrow is another day” he licked the single tear that had fallen from her cheek.

—

Y/n opened her eyes, she wasn’t in her room anymore, she was in the woods, the woods that she’s been dreaming all her life.

“Welcome back to the land of the living”

Y/n stretched her arm trying to feel her comforter but she wasn’t in her bed, she was laying on top of a bed of leaves. She turned to look for Al and saw him sleeping next to her feet.

“Do you feel better?” Asked the woman to her right. A shadow was blocking her face but Y/n’s recognised her anyway “A bed made of leaves is no place for a lady like you to sleep”

Y/n didn’t say anything, she could only focus on the woman’s warm hand brushing the leaves away from her hair.

“Everyone is worried about you, Y/n. You can’t keep running to the woods like this”

“That’s not true” Y/n sat up.

“Oh, Y/n of course it is”

“Hisirdoux is not. He told me himself” Y/n crossed her arms.

The woman chuckled, “He is worried the most. Your father had to stop him from running to the wood to look for you!”

Y/n imaged Hisirdoux pout when he was told he couldn’t do something and smiled.

“Look at that smiled” the women tickled Y/n side “You like him”

“I do not” Y/n blushed.

“Young love is so sweet” The women chuckled and pinched the little girl’s cheeks “There is no crime in liking the errand boy”

“Stop it” Y/n’s cheeks darken further.

“I will not until you admit it” the women try to tickle the confession out of Y/n.

“Stop” she laughed.

—

Y/n lay there in her bed for what felt months yet also felt hours. Her phone stacking with messages yet she wouldn’t answer, she couldn’t even see them in case one of them was Douxie’s.

She heard the news of the destruction of the Inferna Copula in the brief time she met with Jim by the door of the bathroom. He had stopped his rambling when he saw his sister’s lack of response but that didn’t stop him from trying to get a reaction out of her.

One morning, Jim opened the door, his armor on.

“Y/n wake up! I need your help” he shook his sister awake.

“What?” She turned to him.

“Strickler is down stairs hiding from Angor Rot”

“Is this another attempt of getting me out of bed? I told you I am sick” she turned to the wall.

“No, no. Come with me” Jim grabbed her by the arm and dragged her to the kitchen.

“Slow down, Jim” the boy had gotten stronger with his training and was almost dragging his sister down the stairs “Why do you have a smelly sock?” Y/n cringed when the smell got to her.

In the kitchen, Strickler was strapped to a chair, sleeping.

“Really?” She rolled her eyes at the view.

“He said Angor Rot was trying to kill him but nothing happened”

Y/n sighed. She didn’t have the patience to deal with the changeling. She took the sock from Jim and dangled in front of his face.

“Ugh! What is that?” Strickler jumped after smelling the rotten sock.

“Wakey, wakey. We survived the night with no sign of Angor Rot. Congratulations” Jim stepped in front of the changeling and took back the sock from his sister’s hand “We thought we’d bring you some breakfast” The boy threw the sock in his face.

“I don’t eat socks” Strickler scoffed “And I don’t appreciate being tied up”

“Cry me a river” Y/n crossed her arms.

“I asked you to protect me not torture me”

“And I said I’d keep you safe, not comfortable” with his sword, Jim cut the rope that was tied to Strickler’s wrists.

“Well, the sun is up. We’ll have until sundown to get me as far away as possible” Strickler rubbed his wrist as he looked through the window.

“Fine. Let me call the team” Jim grabbed the walkie-talkie from the counter.

Y/n jumped onto the counter next to her brother.

“Trollhunter to Warhammer, you copy?”

“Oh, goodie. The puberty Patrol is on the case. I feel so safe” Strickler mocked.

Y/n rolled her eyes and stuck her leg up when Strickler started to get to close to Jim but he yanked Jim’s walkie-talkie away anyway.

“Do you think your friends will have any chance against that killer? They’ll be a liability” Jim grabbed the walkie-talkie back while Stickler talked “May I remind you, you destroyed Angor’s soul. He’ll be out for blood, be it yours or theirs”

Y/n took deep breaths, trying to control the anger that started to simmer in her stomach and not hit the changeling right in the face while Jim told his friend to look for information on the last stone.

“Smart choice. For once, you’re learning” Strickler grabbed the empty coffee pot.

“For the record, Angor Rot destroyed his own soul” Jim said giving his teacher the cereal box.

A/n: hiiii hellooo!! I didn’t forget about the update!! I just had the worst migraine in the world im sorry 💖

[babiebom]

Two songs I think would describe my relationship with each doctor (nuwho)

A/N: i clicked on a video expecting chaotic doctor who TikTok’s but instead got edits and now all I can think about is what song would play if someone made an edit of me and the doctor. These headcanons are very self indulgent lmao so maybe read at your own risk(nothing too scandalous lmao)

Tw: some cursing maybe, the genre is really sorta fluffy and angsty so idk what to put as a trigger warning idk.

Bc: at least 4 for each 1 for each song and 1 explanation for each of those songs

Doctor who Masterlist

Nine

Until I Found You-Stephen Sanchez and Em Beihold

Okay for this song it’s just if he had never met Rose and I was in her place. Because I do think that whoever he meets at this time(if he likes them) will change how he views everything like she did. Like he needed somebody in this point in time to show him how wonderful the universe could be again after he had lost everything. This song gives those vibes

Snowman- Sia

This is because he’s a sad sad angry man and like, I don’t want him to be sad. This entire song is just me and my sad bf I don’t want him to be sad but no matter what it’s him and me because who else is there?

Ten

Stay With Me- Miki Matsubara

If you read the English lyrics the song is Sadge and I think it fits what I think would be my vibe with him. He will never admit if he has feelings for me(prolly not lmao) and this is just him being like love and affection are different things and i have affection for you. And like just wanting to stay in the moment if not having to be upset because of feelings or anything, just want everything to be good so I can hold on to the good moments.

Heather- Conan Gray

Okay so I’m going with my own AU of me just being the companion of each doctor and like maybe stuff happening in between? I think at this point, the doctor wouldn’t really either admit if he does or doesn’t have feelings for me and ends up falling for someone else while we travel. Like maybe the Family of Blood happens or something in this universe and I get Martha-ed(she’s the loml and I’ll never forgive the show for doing her dirty) by him. This is just me being angsty.

Eleven

My Love Mine All Mine-Mitski

Literally just how i feel about him. I’m the only companion and the only one he ever sails off with, he’s mine all mine in a way. I love him, and even if the song is talking about requited love, mine is probably delulu and this is me being all head over heels prolly

Honey-Kehlani

Again a sappy song. Out of everyone else in the entire universe he somehow chose me to travel with him, because of him I finally found what I wanted to do with my life (be with him) cute cute cute but also delulu

Twelve

Shinuoga E-Wa -Fujii Kaze

If we’re going based off canon things, the doctor was kinda insecure about this new face(because it’s older? I’m going off of what lizard lady was talking about to Clara) and this is just me being like I really don’t care what you look like I’d rather die than be without you

A Thousand Years- Christina Perri

Like the last song this is literally me being like YOURE STILL ATTRACTIVE MY FEELINGS HAVENT CHANGED PLS :)

Thirteen

Take Me to Church- Hozier

I feel like out of these doctors that thirteen was more so of like…I’m keeping all of my personal information personal? Idk like the others knew more about the doctor than the fam knew? At least before their last season. So I feel like at this point she would be lying about a bunch of shit and I’d be like “okay :) I’ll believe everything you’re saying even though I know for a fact your bullshitting me rn”

Love Story- Indila

This is more so the second verse. Me being like “lmao I’m never leaving you” and her being like “I’m literally being an asshole and I forgot how to love” and me being like “idc I’ll literally fight for you. If you ignore me I’ll just offer you my life” kinda insane but also like an undying love sorta thing

Fourteen is the same as ten but less angsty :)

Fifteen

Best Friend-Doja Cat and Saweetie

Atp I think that our relationship probably would’ve evolved to a couple that has been together for a million years but instead of being tired of each other were more like best friends to the point where everyone thinks everything has always been platonic. Fifteen is a bad bitch I love him <3

I Will Always Love You- Whitney Houston

Because fifteen is still hella angsty. He’s acting like the therapy worked but it just helped him deal with everything probably. He needs to remember that no matter what I’ll always love him.

[samstersv]

CANCELED ON; eddie munson

•eddie munson’s younger sister gets canceled on by her friends and he goes to comfort her.

•fluff and angst

•y/n: your name n/n: nickname

•this just happened to me and i’m balling my eyes out so what better way to deal with it by writing -sam

“fuck.” y/n cursed through the tears as she slammed the trailer door. she kicked off her dirty converse, one hit the couch while the other went down the hall. she knew it was cliche to fall against the front door in tears but she could care less. y/n sniffled as she pulled her legs to her chest and her head fell between them. she put one arm over her head to try and subdue the pain radiating all over because of how much she’d been crying.

y/n let sobs rack through, she let herself feel the pain “you deserve it.” she told herself “you should know you they didn’t like you, of course they’d do that. you should have fucking known y/n.” y/n looked up at the ceiling of the trailer and she slammed her hand against the door. “fucking stupid. this is so stupid. i-i hate myself.” she cried even more.

she felt so stupid for crying over this but she had to. not only did she let out cries because of what happened but with that she let out all the pain she’d been bottling up. this small and what was supposed to be comforting moment, was ruined by one small event. one that affected y/n more than she thought it would.

what y/n didn’t hear was a door opening across the small hallway and someone walking towards her. she kept her head in her hands as tears streamed down her face. she was startled when a heavy hand laid atop her head. y/n looked up to see her older brother, eddie, who had his comfortable clothes on and his hair in a bun. when she saw his concerned face, that’s when y/n broke down even more than the first time.

eddie let her cry in his arms. after a few minutes, y/n pulled away and awkwardly chuckled “i didn’t know you were home.” she mumbled. eddie scoffed and he got more comfortable on the ground—he crossed his legs and y/n did the same. “what happened?” he asked.

“uh.. it’s stupid.” eddie shook his head “it’s not stupid if you’re crying over it n/n.” he assured. “the group was supposed to go to family video to have a movie night at the wheelers. they canceled on it as soon as i finished getting ready; i called mike to confirm what time we should all meet up and he said they aren’t going anymore.”

she swallowed back tears as she continued “i decided that i’m already dressed so why not go pick out a few movies to watch by myself and i took my bike to family video and.. and everyone was there. lucas, max, eleven, dustin, mike, will. they were all there, laughing with steve and robin.”

eddie stayed quiet for a moment before he stood up “you’re kidding me.” he told himself “c’mon y/n, we’re going to family video.”

“did you not just hear me ed? i don’t wanna see them right now.” she stood up too and hit her brother on the shoulder “well as a munson, you should just listen to me,” he handed her back her shoes “and let’s go to family video. i’ll even watch some weird movie you like. those fucking brats shouldn’t be like that. especially the ones i’m friends with.”

eddie ran to his room and through on his chained jeans and a black long sleeve with his battle vest. he tossed on a matching pair of sneakers to y/n’s and shook the keys in front of her face. “onward n/n.”

eddie and y/n sung along to some of their songs in the car. they had mixtapes that were a mix of their taste’s in music which weren’t that different to start off.

when eddie parked the mini van, he looked to his sister “remember, walk in there, say hi to steve and robin if you want, go straight to the horror.” y/n laughed at eddie and nodded. the two then got out and walked to the entrance. the sign said it was closed but eddie didn’t care. he opened the door and let y/n in first.

everyone looked at the munson’s in surprise. steve and robin looked at them with a look that said “cant you read the sign” and the kids looked at y/n with nervous and guilty faces.

“hi.” y/n looked at steve and robin and completely ignored everyone else. she walked to the horror section and began to pick out movies “nightmare on elm street?” she turned back to eddie who nodded. she also picked out “the outsiders” and “karate kid” and decided to stroll around the rest of the store.

steve tried to tell eddie that they were closed but the munson boy gave him a serious look and brought steve to the back of the store. he told him a summary of all his younger sister told him. steve shook his head “they didn’t do that.” he mumbled to eddie but the boy shook his head “harrington,” he huffed “i’ve seen y/n cry but she was crying a lot so let it be. we’re gonna have a movie night.”

“shit. yeah go. i’ll ring em up for you.” he patted eddie on the shoulder as he smiled at y/n. the girl was the youngest out of everyone there. she was still in the same grade as the kids but she was 14 and not 15. “hey y/n. make eddie shit his pants.” robin smiled (the older girl could tell something was up with the nervous looks from the kids and how eddie brought steve to talk.) “hey y/n..” lucas mumbled awkwardly “fuck you guys.” she told all of them. she then thanked steve and her and eddie carried out the movies. eddie said a quick bye to robin and steve before following his sister.

“i’m crying again.” she mumbled when she got in the car. “it still hurts even though that felt good.” she laughed while wiping the flowing tears. eddie kissed the top of his sisters head “i’m here to be your annoying brother till they come crawling back to apologize.”

y/n laughed “you’re the best brother ever, eddie.”

“you’re the best sister ever too, y/n.”

[pijjafairys]

Last dance.

pairing ; the8 x reader

genre ; heavy angst, slow burn

trigger warning ; d1e, depression, empty feeling

note ; a songfic inspired by LAST DANCE - BIGBGANG, possible grammar and spelling mistakes, may take a bit longer

The sound of footsteps echoed in the deserted apartment hallway, and the clock struck half-past eleven at night. It was almost midnight, and there was less and less human activity.

Eisa, often called Minghao, was carrying a tote bag filled with his monthly shopping. He opened the door to his apartment room lazily, and after placing the tote bag on the table, he threw himself roughly on the sofa and exhaled heavily.

"Life's becoming tougher around here," he grumbled to no one in particular.

Opening his phone, he pressed the music player app and set a random playlist. He tried to close his eyes, hoping that when he woke up later, his fatigue would be gone.

Eisa opened his eyes slowly and felt someone lightly patting his cheek. Trying to blink repeatedly to adjust to the bright room light, he heard a soft voice saying, "Hey, let's get up and eat first. I'm already cooking." A tiny hand extended towards Eisa. Eisa, who was still not fully awake, just nodded, smiled, and accepted the tiny hand. They walked towards the dining room, and the smell of cooking was so fragrant that it pierced their noses.

"Ah.. This is all I can whip up right now. I'll make sure to cook up a storm tomorrow." The woman slightly lowered her head, and that woman is you.

"It's okay babe. You don't need to cook much anyway since it's already late. It's just me and you who will eat, so don't be sad. Let's eat. Thank you very much," Eisa smiled gently and stroked the top of your head.

You guys ate together quietly, with only light conversation to break the silence of the night.

"I'm stuffed! Thanks a bunch, dear. I'll whip something up for you tomorrow," Eisa cleaned up his dirty dishes and put them in the sink. "What will you do, hun? I'll do the dishes. I'm the one who cooked," you tried to stop Eisa who wanted to wash all the dirty cooking and eating utensils.

"Honey, you already cooked, so it's my job to wash the dishes. You just sit here and keep me company," Eisa said as he gently pushed you back towards your chair.

You snorted and smiled, "Alright then." While waiting for Eisa to finish up, you strolled over to the sofa, picking up his cellphone that was lying around carelessly. You tried to change the music he was playing on his cellphone.

"Hey, why'd you change it? I have a weird taste in music, don't I?" Eisa walked over to you, looking a bit glum.

"Huh? No way, I like all the songs you like. They're unique. I just wanna hear a different song, and maybe dance and sing with you." you smiled and put the phone back on the table.

Eisa tilted his head and raised one eyebrow, looking a bit confused. You chuckled, he looked so cute and funny right now. "You're such a weirdo," he said.

You frown as you listened to what he had just said. "How so? I just wanna listen to some tunes and bust a move," You said in annoyance.

"You don't really like dancing, honey." Eisa holding your hand and squeezed a little tighter as he started to get anxious and confused. You stroked the back of his hand gently with your thumb to give him a sense of security and comfort.

You didn't say anything, just smiled and started slow dancing with him.

A confused Eisa just followed your lead slowly, your mouth murmuring some lyrics of the song that was playing with a slight smile.

I'm still young so I

Guess I'm still immature

Why am I so stupid

You're dancing happily, feeling warmth in your chest. It's just as good as the first time you did it. You steal the chance to kiss his cheek or hug him for a while. Then Eisa happily hugs you tightly and lifts you up while spinning. You both laugh happily.

As Eisa opens his eyes, the euphoria dissipates, leaving behind an emptiness that feels almost suffocating. Tears stream down his face, a mix of joy and sorrow that he can't quite comprehend. He wipes his face roughly, trying to rid himself of the overwhelming emotions.

The haunting melody of "Last Dance" by BIGBANG still echoes in the room, a cruel reminder of what once was. Eisa struggles to remember the last time he felt truly happy, truly alive. The song was yours, a favorite that you both loved to dance to, but now it only amplifies the emptiness he feels.

Eisa looks around the apartment, but nothing has changed. It's still the same as when he arrived, a silent witness to his pain. He tries to keep it together, to hold back the tears that threaten to engulf him. But it's no use. He sobs uncontrollably, feeling utterly alone and lost in the emptiness of the apartment. The song only adds to the unbearable sadness that engulfs him, a constant reminder of what he has lost.

Music keeps on playing and

I am here waiting for you

Give me a chance

Please just once

I promise you

It won't be long

Eisa bawled his eyes out and soaked in every single word and beat of that song.

I will sing this song

And I will return to you

If I can see

Your beautiful self again

I will listen to this song with you

And dance for the last time

Remember this moment

Forever if you must

Just one last dance

Yesterday night when I

Held hands with you and danced

With your radiantly glowing and

Beautiful one last smile

Red, orange, yellow, green

An ecstasy I can't know

It doesn't go with the world

That I used to see and feel

Yesterday night when I

Held hands with you and danced

With your radiantly glowing and

Beautiful one last smile

Red, orange, yellow, green

An ecstasy I can't know

It doesn't go with the world

That I used to see and feel

"Do you miss me again?" Eisa whispered to the empty room, tears streaming down his face. "Or am I the only one who misses you? It's been two years since you left, but I still can't forget you."

He tried to catch his breath, but his chest felt tight, like a weight was crushing it. "I'm sorry for bothering you even when you're not here. I'm sorry for making things difficult for you," he continued, his voice choked with sobs.

"I know you're gone, but I can't stop talking to you. Please forgive me." Eisa paused for a moment, his eyes closed tightly.

"Thank you for coming to me in my dreams, for making me laugh, hug and kiss me, feeding me and dance together with you again. Thank you for being with me, even though it's just in my mind." He took a deep breath, trying to compose himself.

"I promise this is the last time I'll talk to you like this. I'll try to move on and live my life, but it's so hard without you. Please wait for me on the other side. I'll come to you eventually, but for now, I need to learn how to live without you."

Eisa couldn't hold back his tears any longer. He cried alone in the silent and empty room until exhaustion and sorrow finally took over, and he drifted off to sleep, still holding on to the memory of his beloved.

[vlassk]

Banshee part 4

An- Oh boy am I excited for the new part of stranger things but ya know. I'm also really scared. Sorry this chapter might be short, ive been pretty busy and I'm still trying to get out new chapters.

Summary- As you watch over eight and become closer to her your mistreatment by your Coworkers start to seep into your Brain more and more. You realize how Messed up this place is

Paring- Henry Creel x reader

Song-

Warnings- language, gun violence, death, missing children, grief

1974--

When each year would pass you would all have a mini celebration with each other. All the workers would gather around with Brenner after the children were put asleep and Brenner would give everyone a talk about the New Year.

It was depressing each time. There was an obvious difference with You and Peter and everyone else who works in the entire building. You two were once the 'children' of Dr Brenner. They all saw you as a threat some of them even having to apprehend you both at some point, and it remained that way throughout your years working there. Sometimes you would catch the nurses giving you dirty looks. Every time someone saw peter with you, you felt their judgment and hatred more.

"They are staring at us..." You say sitting in the Employee lounge. Usually you both were alone but today was a busy day, you and peter were in charge of watching the three year old Eleven with Eight.

"Who cares" peter goes back to reading his book. You both were sat side by side on one of the couches. Everyone knew you liked Peter but no one knew his own feelings. Sure he flirted With you but he never did anything else but the occasional kind gesture.

" It matters to me... You know I hate how they treat us." You sigh And begin to lay your head in your lap.

"Jesus Y/n don't slouch here" peter knocks your head slightly, as your head fell up he still gives you a warm smile.

"Are you excited to babysit?" You smile and poke at peters Arm. His smile only get bigger as he looks back down at his book.

"Just a little, I know you love Eight but, I feel like Eleven is going to be different" peter closes his book and puts it down turning to you.

"Plus..she's adorable and very kind unlike two and the rest.." He gives a faded smile. You take his hand and hold it for a moment

"I'm glad you're having fun here. Better than our actually daily work" you stand up still holding his hand

"Let's go greet the babies!" You smile as peter stands up as well, you were ready to let go but for some reason He stayed holding on to you. As you both walked out hand in hand you pass by a few nurses standing by the door. Without being able to dodge anything one of them kicks their foot out, tripping you over, instinctly you close your eyes

But you still held peters hand, something the nurses didn't see, as you fell He lifted his arm and used the other to catch you. As if he just tipped you over during a fancy dance.

You slowly opened your eyes being greeted by Peters big blue ones. A small giggle was given by the nurses. The one who tripped you was obviously annoyed you didn't fully fall.

Peter turns his head to look at the nurses, he glares at them and they turn their heads. Beginning to walk out of the room.

He turns back to look at you, still holding the position you were on.

"Uh..." You slowly let go of his hand out awkwardness.

"Sorry" as you say this you quickly lose balance freaking out and grabbing onto the man holding you up. As you freak he also loses balance and falls on top of you.

"Ouch" you quietly groan out, peter already picking himself up

"I'm sorry I probably hurt you" he starts to lift himself up off of you, making sure his full weight isn't on you. You were still slightly holding on to him, for everyone who might walk in the position was definitely odd.

"No im sorry I lost my balance and freaked out". You shake your head at your own stupidity, realizing how close you were you started to blush just a bit. You just hopped he didn't notice.

"Gosh you always fall for me.." He rolls his eyes and starts to fully get up, not noticing your arms around him. When he notices though he stops moving. Looking down at your arms still stuck and back at you. His face goes red as you let go, he quickly gets up, reaching out a hand to help you.

"Sorry i guess that panic really sent me huh?" You awkwardly dust yourself off.

"No its fine. Falling can be an uncomfortable feeling"

"Yeah...anyway shall we?I miss eight" you turn to leave, Peter grabs on of your shoulders to turn you. He slowly moves his hand up to your face, slowly picking off an eyelash. Your face goes to an even deeper red.

"Why so red?" He raises an eyebrow and smirks. You shake your head and push him away.

"We must pick up eight!" You grab peters hand amd storm out of the room and into the hallway

You speed run down the halls, peter chuckling at his own words.

You refused to let him see you all blushed and flustered. Finally you both arrived at the rainbow room, eight sat alone in one corner as the children played, brenner already sitting inside talking to five. As you both slowly stepped up Peter walks slowly to Brenner.

"Dr. Brenner we are here for Number eight. May we take her right now. I know its a bit early" He leans down to Brenner getting at his height

"Both you and y/n? I assume?" Brenner takes his attention off of five, they give peter an annoyed look.

"Yeah... Only if its still okay with you" he gives Brenner a small smile. Brenner glances at you, you were already interacting with Eight, when he looks back at Peter he sees him also looking at her.

"Fine, but remember Eleven is still iffy with people" Brenner nods Peter off and turns back to Five. Who instantly smiled at her PaPa.

Peter sits up and starts walking to you and eight, a big smile on his face as he sits down next to you both.

"Who's ready for a play date?" Peter smiles patting the girls head, she smiles and looks up at you, your smile being even bigger. You take her hand as you all begin to walk out walking down to the room they keep the children under 5 go. You knock on the door lightly and a nurse opens it. You both exchange smiles and And she walks out leaving you three with Young Eleven, as eight goes to play with three you take a seat on the small chairs provided. This was one of the only rooms with good carpet. Peter takes a seat next to you, sometimes Eleven would walk towards him handing him whatever building block she was playing with. It was sweet and comforting.

Once the play date was over you helped pick up and sat to wait for the nurse for Eleven.

" wasn't this fun" you say holding onto eleven tickling her a little bit

"Yeah it was. Seems like eight though is a little jealous" peter smiles, once you turn your head you see eight staring at you as you hold onto eleven, peter takes her from you And gently sits her on his lap.

"She's a cute one isn't she? So nice compared to Six..." Peter boops Elevens nose.

"Hah yeah thats true. Didn't they bite you?" As you laugh out Eight runs to you. And hugs your leg. You slowly pat her head in comfort.

As you were all settling down the door clicks open a nurse comes and instantly looks at Both you and peter. Her face slowly turns to disgust as she sees eight holding onto you.

"I'm here now. You all can leave. " she says, turning back to you and eyeing you up and down.

You roll your eyes at her, peter puts Eleven in her bed and just stand and hold onto Eights hand.

"Did you just roll your eyes at me?" The nurse asks faking a confused tone.

"No no definitely not" you say in defense putting one hand up.

"Stay in your place. This time you can't call for your 'papa'" the nurse moves aside waiting for you to leave with peter.

"How about you? Stay in your place, did you forget who we are? What we can get away with" the nurse was about to reply, but peter pushes you and eight out. Ignoring whatever else the nurse would have said.

"Hey what the hell?" You say trying to go back in.

"Stop picking fights with those idiots. Gosh you'll get into trouble you-... You're so annoying" peter sighs and begins to walk. You walk along as well leading Eight onto the rainbow room with the others. you drop her off as she goes back to her corner. Picking up some toys and playing by herself.

As you leave the room you see peter waiting outside.

"please promise me you won't do anything to piss anyone off..." Peter turns his head to look at you, You slowly walk to the side of the wall he's leaning on, His head following you as you do.

"I'm not, they just hate us. they hate you a lot but if I get it there will be less consequences" you lay your head on his shoulder, tired and angry at the nurse still.

"They hate us sure but don't give them any reason to act on that hate. You should know by now this place isn't sunshine and rainbows" peter gets up from the wall. Going to stand in front of you. You hold your breath as he gets closer

"Please promise me you won't give them any reason to hurt you" peter leans in close, almost whispering his words.

"Peter..." Before you could say anything else a door opens, spooking you both, you slowly turn to see a security guard walking out of the bathroom.

"Uh...uhhhh.....okie" the guard awkwardly walks off after staring at you both for a second. You both watch him leave, then turning to each other once you both were in the clear.

A large buddle of laughter leaves both of you, as you throw tour head back peter leans down putting his head on your shoulder as he hides his own laughter. He slowly begins to rise his arms to your side. As he looks up a small subtle smile appears on his face

"What?" You try holding I'm your laugh, trying to drop your own smile.

"You're the only reason I can get through my days y/n"

You giggle at his words, peter instantly looks down regretting what he said.

"Look who's the one Falling..." You smile more turning your head to the side. When peter finally looked back up his smile was the brightest thing I'm the building.

"Shut up.." He rolls his eyes letting go of you, You smile at him trying to hide his smile, you lean up a bit and kiss his forehead, pushing him back softly and walking off.

"See you at dinner lame-o" you laugh Hysterically as you turned the corner.

Peter puts his hands In his pocket as he leans against the wall again. Looking up at the ceiling and smiling.

He heard the familiar Footsteps as it snapped him out of the thoughts he was having.

"Peter... I see you're getting closer to her" as peter turned his head to look at Brenner he instantly rolled his eyes

"Okay i can see the sass...what's wrong" brenner stands next to him. Peter stood up straight looking Brenner head on.

"You already know papa..." He begins to walk away, brenner holding his shoulder so he stops.

"I know... And I know I said you should stay away but..." Brenner trails off. Not knowing what else to say or how to.

"But what. You said to stay away so I have to...and so I am" peter takes his hand off already taking his hands off.

" peter no no... I was wrong. I see that you both are doing really good, it was wrong of me to put your pasta against you, especially knowing how Y/n feels myself" brenner seemed sad. He knew he somewhat cared for the children he raised. Both You and Peter were his firsts, and The way he got Y,N to trust him was unbelievable. As he grew and only cared for more he knew it was unfair to them.

"Its unfair to stop whatever is going on when I took at least her opportunity to have it... So do whatever, be stupid and have fun whenever you both are off, I see how happy you are taking care of the kids and its...its made me think about how different it would be if you were just an employee." Brenner keeps looking at peter, as he didnt turn around. He sees the young man look up amd sigh as he looks back down shaking his head slowly. As he walks off. Brenner turns around himself, walking back to his old office.

As you sat alone at the cafeteria table you stare at the other employees who were just about to get off. You saw how some of them were friends, some might have been dating and how some where simply too tired to do anything. You started eating your food and watch as the door opened. Peter walks in and smiles at you, you wave back as he went to get his own food. But before the door shut completely you saw Eight. Who was supposed to be asleep.

She pointing at you and then pointed at a closet next to the cafe. As you raised your eyebrows you slowly got up, turning back to see peter have a small conversation with the old lady at the counter.

Walking out of the Cafe you see eight closing the door of the closet, a small note was hanging from shelf. No eight was found.

It read ' I love and will miss you and peter. I hope we can play again' a small smile creeps up on your face. You fold the paper and hide it in your pocket walking back to the cafe. You see peter sitting down, confused about why you left.

"Sorry i was uh... I don't know its weird" you laugh a little as you sit back down eating your own food.

"What is it. Trust me I'll understand" peter smiled and stole a grape off your plate. You roll your eyes and smile, taking the note out of your Pocket and sliding it under the table to him

"Isn't she cute.." You smile stealing one of peters broccoli.

Peter reads the note and looks up confused.

"Who made this" he flips the note around trying to look for clues

"Eight...you know what she can do" you eat more of your food as Peter slides the note under the table as he eats as well.

"Yeah thats true. I'm glad she has fun with you." He smiles and steals another grape.

"Oh you little shit..." You laugh a little ready to steal more of his, your dinners were normal Food and some type of desert or sweet. You usually went for his veggies though as the cool always seasoned them well. Before you reached over peter breaks his cookie in half, shoving half of it in your mouth.

"Shut up and eat" he smiles and watches you eat the cookie. Enjoying every bite.

As you giggle and joke around dinner finally ends, Peter always walking you to your room teasing a bit and then heading back to his room.

The morning lights came on, you get dressed and right when you exit the Room you're greeted by Peter himself

"Good morning sunshine" he winks at you and turns to walk, you follow getting ready for your morning duties. The both of you go to the cafe, seeing the children eating and smiling. But as your eyes roam the area you can't find eight, you tell peter you will be back, as you walked down to eights room you knock lightly. Stepping inside you don't see anything. Not Eight some of her drawings gone. You feel your body go cold

"E-eight..." You stumble inside. Searching the place as you begin to cry. Saying her number over and over, you know you want to scream, tear this place down, but you can't, even if you tried it would hurt too much to be worth it.

As you walk back to the cafe you think of what could have happen. But all you want is peter. You stumble inside. Peter stands up and looks at you, seeing how sad you look.

"Y/n?" You walks towards you, beginning to wrap his arms around you, as soon as his arms reached out you fell into him, feeling the dead feeling you felt when you lost your mother. Feeling the pain of not being able to know if she was alive or dead.

The guards came around as peter talked, all you could hear was a fuzzy white noise. A few minutes later a lockdown was made. The whole facility was searched for the little girl but nothing happened.

You stayed in your room for two months. Peter and Brenner would bring you food. Some how brenner understood, he let you sit around as long as peter could work. No matter how many times peter comforted you and helped you couldn't get over what happened. It was another horrible loss.

"Y/n?"

It was a long two months but you finally decided to get up shower and go to work again. Peter sat in a chair instantly standing up once he saw you

"Hi how are you?" He runs walks towards you, hugging you instantly once he saw you

"I'm really good, feeling like today's a good day" you hug the man back and then you both head to the rainbow room to do your works.

It was September 9th 1974

Everything started off normal, the kids where playing some going to study and be tested. And all of a sudden the Feeling of absolute dread washes over you. You were watching over a few tests, but as you transitioned to another room the sound of gunshots throughout the building startled you, As your ran with the children to safely you got up, telling them to stay put, as you slowly walked out you still hear the echoing of the gun, you slowly walk around, seeing peter shield his own group of kids, you smile at him slightly as the look of fear is showed. He tried to smile back as you slowly make your way towards the gunshots.

Peter sees this only to freak out more, but he also knows he can't leave the kids while they are out in the open.

You see three kids run to the downstairs door. The door shuts and you can't leave as the doors where locked now. You wall back to peter, as you all slowly and carefully walk to the children you left before.

"What ia going on?" Peter whispered to you, making sure you were pulled aside enough so the kids wouldn't hear.

"I don't know...I can't even get to ground level" you look over at the kids, only having about 7 of them.

As the hours pass a guard finally comes in, helping all of you to get back in a safe place, once the kids were out to sleep all staff was pulled aside to know about what happened.

Brenner speaks in front of you all. Explaining a crazy woman came in To try to get her daughter back, letting out three kids. one sadly being shot. the staff was confused and sad at the loss of one of them and the ones that ran.

It didnt feel right to you. Nothing was normal. You slowly turned to peter, a worried look on your face, peter returned the same facial expression, as you both slowly turned back to Dr. Brenner.

"This place is going to go downhill very fast" peter whispers to you. Making sure no one heard.

"We need to leave..." You slowly turn your head to him, his eyes meeting yours as you swallow, and try to hold In the tears.

[hellowhisperingstars]

The Beginning

Summary: Eddie is visited by someone unexpected and given a warning.

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

Words: 3.6K

Warnings: Child neglect, death of a parent, ghosts, Y/N use, drugs and alcohol, cursing, an insane amount of commas. Let me know if I missed anything!

A/N: Here is the first chapter! Just mostly back story and the like, Y/N mentioned but not seen. Please let me know what you think!

Series Masterlist - Forward

Eddie Munson hasn’t always hated christmas. In fact it used to be his favorite holiday. His mother was able to keep that spark of magic alive for a long time, she made it special with her stories, her songs, and her laughter. She loved christmas. His dad on the other hand was never really around and when he was he was too busy getting high or drunk to care much about his family, birthdays, or holidays. His mother tried her best for years but when she got sick everything kinda just stopped. No lights, no tree, no stockings, and no presents for little Eddie.

Her death was the catalyst for the rest of Eddie's life. His father had to step up and be the adult which he hated and failed at, most of the time leaving Eddie to care for himself. When he was around his son he was teaching him things that no father should ever teach a child, how to hotwire and steal a car, how to pickpocket people on the street, how to pick a lock, and how to scam nice people out of anything really. Christmas was never important to him.

It was one fateful December night that brought it all to a halt when Eddie’s father was arrested for some reason or another, he didn’t remember, or care. What he did remember was the cops showing up at his rundown shithole apartment to collect evidence but instead found him, laying on a sad mattress that sat on the floor with only a thin sheet to cover him in the freezing home. His hair was matted and dirty, and he was thin, too thin for a boy of eleven. 

With his mother gone and his father in jail Eddie was pushed onto his Uncle Wayne, his fathers older brother, the older Munson male took him in with open arms, giving him a room, clothes, food for his empty belly, and an education. A home. 

Eddie thrived from the love he got from his uncle as he grew up and learned to love music. For Christmas when Eddie was twelve his uncle got him a guitar. His very first acoustic. Eddie wrote this machine slays dragons on it in white paint. Bringing his love of music and magic together.

It was his favorite thing until he was eighteen and Wayne had saved up enough money to buy Eddie his sweetheart for Christmas. A NJ Warlock, it was absolutely beautiful and it was his most prized possession sitting in a place of honor in front of the mirror in his room. 

Money was tight that following year so Eddie followed in his father's footsteps and started dealing on the side, only weed at first and never to minors. He hated selling the harder stuff, he's seen what it did to people. Wayne once questioned where Eddie was getting the money from but Eddie just smiled and said he had a good side job with a wink. It worried Wayne but he bit his tongue and let Eddie make his choice. He was always careful about it.

He met you that year, his first senior year at Hawkins High, you were a transfer student coming in towards the holidays. You quickly became inseparable. Another reason for Eddie to love Christmas was that it reminded him of you. He loved everything about you, your eyes, your hair, your smile, anything and everything he loved. And you loved him fully and completely. Any free time was spent with him, next to him, under him. It was all him. He was it for you.

Then Chrissy died, Eddie was on the run, and you both were thrown into the world of the Upside Down. Finding out a whole different dimension sat under Hawkins was a hard pill to swallow, unbelievable really, until you saw Eddie, Steve, Nancy, and Robin in the Upside Down version of Eddie's trailer smiling up or down at you and the kids. You wanted to help, to fight, but Eddie denied you he would never live with himself if anything happened to you. So you stayed behind in the park with Erica as you both watched for Jason Carver and his goons, keeping an eye on the Creel house. 

Max had miraculously survived her brush with death, but for just a few minutes she was gone, that was enough to bring the upside down to the right side up. Gates and cracks opening across Hawkins. She almost didn't make it out of the coma she was in.

Eddie almost didn't make it either. His wounds made him bleed out almost completely. He was lucky that Steve and Dustin were able to get him out when they did. You sat next to him in his hospital for as long as you could, holding his hand while he slept. Your fingers fiddling with the handcuffs that locked him in the bed. He was alive but he was far from being out of danger. Even with giant holes in the ground they still believed that this sweet nerdy boy was evil. Once back on his feet they put him in jail and on trial, it was only with the help of the teens and kids talking to Hopper, who was also mysteriously not dead, that they dropped the charges against Eddie declaring him innocent and letting him go. Hopper had spoken to the judge on his behalf, getting him to see reason.

People had always avoided Eddie before. Now they jeered at him, purposely making his life hell for deaths he had nothing to do with. Chrissy, Fred, Patrick, Jason, even hurting poor Max. They said he was evil, a child of the devil, and a cult leader. It made him angry, jaded, hurt. Someone had even gone as far as to throw a brick at you one night as you were walking to your car after your shift at the diner. Just to get at Eddie. He practically destroyed the ER looking for you. The scar on your forehead is a horrible reminder of the lengths people would go to hurt him. So he pushed you away. Pushed everyone away. Wayne, the band, Hellfire. Everyone he cared about, kept at a distance, if he wasn't in your lives you wouldn't be hurt by those who hunted him, hated him. So there he was, the town freak. Alone. Like he always should have been. 

7:50 pm Christmas Eve 1989

Eddie grunted as he lifted his arms in the air, he groaned in pain as the muscles in his back stretched. Lifting heavy boxes and organizing inventory in the stock room of the record shop was hard work on his beat up body. His wounds had healed but the scars were still painful sometimes, tonight was one of them. He dropped his arms, rotating his right shoulder as he moved around looking at more boxes that needed to be labeled, checked off, and shoved onto shelves. It was tiring work but it was the best he could do. The record shop was the only place that would hire him after everything was done. He asked for the overnight shifts, the shop was closed, no one knew he was there and he didn’t have to worry about being targeted for anything. He could have his headphones on as he restocked the store and tried not to think of his old life. He was asked to come in earlier tonight to help with inventory. He wasn’t going to argue with more money.

The bell above the front door chimed as someone walked in. A gruff voice asked about him and he looked up a few seconds later as his Uncle pushed open the door to the stockroom. “Hey Kiddo.”

“Wayne.” Eddie said, looking over his shoulder at his only family before he went back to work, opening up a new box and looking at the records inside. Making a face when he saw it was a bunch of boy band cassettes. This town wouldn’t know good music if it bit them in the ass. Glancing up at his Uncle he grabbed a pen. “Not to be rude but what are you doing here?”

“It’s Christmas Eve, Ed,” Wayne said as he shoved his hands in his pants pockets. “Shops closing early. Wanted to see if you would come by the new place for dinner.”

Eddie sighed as he checked off the inventory list and lifted the box and set it on the shelf. “Can’t. Staying late tonight. Gotta get the shop restocked for the day after Christmas sale.”

“It’s one night Ed.” His uncle huffed. “One night as a family. That's all I’m asking.”

“I just said I can’t.” Eddie snapped looking over at his Uncle. “Don’t you have a shift at the new plant anyway?” 

“Got tonight and tomorrow night off for the holidays.” The older man shrugged. His nephew has been running from him for three years now. It was really starting to get on his nerves. “Look, I know your still scared of this stupid town but it’s been three years Eddie. It’s time to work it out and come home. Me, your band, the Hellfire kids, Y/N. We miss you. We want you back.”

“Why can’t you just accept it’s better this way?!” Eddie growled, pushing his long hair out of his face as he turned on his uncle. “I like being alone. It’s easier. So just let me be alone... I have to get back to work.”

Wayne watched as Eddie turned back around lifting the next heavy box onto the table to open, label, and mark off the list. “If that’s what you think is best you're dumber than you look. We need you. I’ll make enough dinner for two, come join me when you get your head out of your ass.”

Eddie listened to his Uncle leave, the slam of the stock room door making him flinch. His hands clenched into fists at his side as he took in an attempt at a calming breath. The pen in his hand bit into his palm before he chucked it across the room in anger. They didn’t understand, no one understood. Looking around the room he groaned at the mess of boxes. It was going to be a longer night then he thought.

10:30 PM

He was done quicker then he expected, his anger making him work faster to try and get that energy out. He was able to organize the entire stock room and restocked the shelves and displays in the shop all before eleven o’clock. So Eddie took the time to just sit in the back and contemplate his life. His face fell into his hands as his elbows dug into knees. He needed a break. He was just so damn angry. This town will eat you alive. Maybe calling it an early night wasn't a terrible idea. Slapping his knees he stood up and moved from the back room to the front of the shop towards his bosses office. Knocking on the door he heard a gruff, “Yeah?” 

Pushing open the door he leaned against the frame. “Back is clean and the front restocked. Mind if I head out for the rest of the night?”

“Nah, you're fine.” His boss said, looking at his watch. “Gotta get home to the family myself. Have a goodnight, Munson. Merry Christmas.” 

“Uh yeah,” Eddie muttered. “Merry Christmas, Frank.” 

Turning around Eddie closed the door behind him, heading back to the stock room to pull his hoodie over his old Metallica shirt before slipping his leather jacket over it, checking that his keys and cigarette pack were still there before he clocked out. He waved at Frank, who was coming out of his office, before Eddie stepped from the warm shop out into the cold dark evening. 

He let out a huff, watching as a puff of steam left his mouth like smoke. He snorted at himself as he shoved his hands in his jacket pockets turning to walk down the street towards his apartment. He used to do that all the time as a kid, making it look like he was smoking a cigarette, two fingers up to his lips as he took a hit. He remembered his mom laughing at him as he smiled up at her. Then he actually started smoking and the little game wasn't as fun anymore. 

A shiver ran down his spine as he huddled further into himself trying to conserve as much body heat as possible. On his walk he passed the diner you worked at a few blocks away from the record shop and stopped for a split second to see if you were working tonight, but you weren't there. ‘Probably off for the night. Home. Warm. Safe.’ Eddie thought as he continued down the street towards his own home and maybe the liquor store. 

“Hey murderer!” A slurred voice yelled as a snowball filled with rocks hit his back making him wince for a second before he just kept walking. He swallowed down his anger, he wasn't looking to get arrested again. Besides, the person was probably already stumbling out of sight anyway. ‘Definitely the liquor store.’

It came up on the right quickly as he booked it down the street, careful of the ice and snow as he moved. When he grabbed the handle a tiny bell rang to the left of him catching his attention. Looking down at the bundled up woman she smiled at him with a lidded plastic bowl in her hands. He noticed a slit in the top just big enough for money to be pushed in. “Isn't it a little late for you to be ringing that damn bell?”

"Would you like to donate to the broken family fund?" 

“Sorry lady,” Eddie scoffed and shook his head as he pulled open the door stepping inside to grab his booze. Muttering to himself as he wandered the aisle looking for something to make him forget his own name. “I am from a broken family. The last thing we want is fucking charity.” 

Grabbing the cheapest bottle of whiskey he could find, he turned to the register. Placing it gently on the counter he got out the cash he needed as he waited for the cashier to ring him up. 

“Cold night.” 

“Uh yeah, it sucks out there.” Eddie nodded. Throwing his thumb towards the front of the store he gestured to it. “Hey you know you have some woman asking for donations by your door?” 

They both looked but she seemed to be gone. The cashier shrugged, giving Eddie his total. “Hmm must have moved on. They like to roam this time of year, hoping to feed off of people's holiday spirit.” 

“Vultures.” Eddie grumbled as he handed him the cash watching as the other guy pulled his change and bagged up the whiskey before handing him both. Pocketing his change he grabbed the bag. “Thanks man, have a good night.”

“Merry Christmas.” The man said with a bored wave as Eddie left the building back out onto the street. Looking around Eddie shrugged, the woman was no longer in sight, he continued home. He was close now just about a block away. He stopped in front of an alley to pull the pack of cigarettes from his jacket pocket, pulling out one and the lighter from the carton. Putting the cigarette between his lips he flicked the lighter to life before taking a deep breath, letting the nicotine calm his nerves. He felt uneasy all of a sudden, something was wrong but he couldn't figure out what.

A light flickered in his peripheral vision. Looking to the right down the dark alley he saw nothing but boxes and trash cans. He blew the smoke from his lips as he narrowed his eyes. Another flicker, a slow movement. It almost looked human.

“Nope,” Eddie said, shaking his head as fear crushed his chest. He's had enough otherworldly bullshit to last him a lifetime. Thank you very much. “Fuck that. Not today.” 

Eddie moved quickly down the empty street to his apartment. That cigarette was gone by the time he was outside his building. He flew up the flight of stairs and to his door unlocking it quickly and rushing in locking it behind him, backing away from the door like the thing had followed him. He waited for a few minutes but when nothing happened he gave a shake of his head as he backed into his kitchen putting the bottle on the counter before moving farther into his home to settle down for the night. “You’re losing it, Munson. Stop being so fucking paranoid.” 

After a quick shower he stepped into his gray plaid pj bottoms you bought him for Christmas three years ago. Sighing, he walked back into the kitchen grabbing the whiskey bottle from the counter and went to flop on the couch. Taking the remote from his old coffee table he turned it on to something mindless. With any luck he would soon be so far gone that he wouldn't even remember what it was. Holding the bottle by its neck he used his other hand and cracked it open, flicking the cap away from him as he brought the bottle to his lips taking a good pull before he swallowed, giving a wince as it burned his throat. Taking a breath he put the bottle on the table and pulled out a little wooden box from under the couch. His stash. Plucking a joint free he placed it between his lips and lit it with the zippo from the box tossing the lighter on the table. With a joint in one hand and whiskey in the other, Eddie leaned back on the couch ready to just fade. Scoffing again as the show ended and “It’s a Wonderful Life” started to play. Your favorite movie. “Of fucking course.”

12:00 AM

Halfway through the movie and he was feeling good, his fogged up brain letting his thoughts drift as he killed the roach of his second joint putting it out in the ashtray on the table. Taking a healthy swig from the bottle he watched as the TV faded to black for a moment letting his reflection stare back at him. But he wasn’t alone. There in the screen just behind him was a figure, coughing on his drink he swiftly turned around to see no one. The few lights in his home started to flicker, panic set in, was it something from the Upside Down? He couldn’t handle that, not now, he was in no position to defend himself. High and half naked. Breathing hard he practically dropped the bottle on his floor as a figure stepped from the darkness behind his couch as the lights stopped flickering. 

He blinked in shock. This was a dream. There’s no way she could be here. She’s dead. But there she stood looking as healthy as he always liked to remember her, her long brown hair just as curly as his. The pretty sundress they buried her in just as pristine. Their matching brown eyes locked in the moment. “Mom?”

“Hello Munchkin.” She said as she smiled at him. A little laugh bubbling out of her. “You’re not so little anymore.”

“I don’t understand.” He stood from the couch, swaying slightly from the booze and drugs.

“You’ve lost your way, baby.” Lousie said as she walked towards him the furniture was the only thing between them. “I didn’t raise you to be like this. You are a good person Eddie, a caring person. I taught you to help others.”

Shaking his head he stumbled away from the couch towards the door to his room. “This isn’t real. I’m seeing things.”

“Edward, you need to listen to me! I don’t have much time to tell you this!” She pleaded as she moved towards him. “Tonight you will be visited by three ghosts. Trust them. Let them help you.”

“That’s just a story,” Eddie said as he swayed looking at her, it hurt to look at her. He missed her so much. She reminded him of better times, happier times. Tears blurred his vision, she wasn’t here. Not really, it wasn’t possible. This was just some fucked up hallucination from being cross faded. “You’re not her.”

“If you keep going down this path you will end up more broken and alone then you already are.” His mother said as she stood in front of her very grown up son. “I don’t want that for you.”

Against his better judgment Eddie brought his hand up to try and touch her, but stepped back when all he felt was air. A gasping breath left him as he watched her start to fade, like a flickering candle, her short time was up and he was scared to blink, fearing that he would miss these final moments with her even if this was just a dream. 

“Remember,” She said as looked at him. “Three ghosts. Listen to them, learn from them, and be happy. I love you, Munchkin.”

“Mom.” Eddie whispered as she flickered one more time before fading completely. And just like that she was gone, like she was never there to begin with. He blinked back tears, shaking his head as he stumbled to his room not caring that the TV was still on. Falling onto his bed he pulled the covers up over himself. Sleep. Sleep would prove this was just some fucked up dream. He could still hear Christmas music playing from the TV and he groaned. He hated it, everything about it. The music, the cold, the feeling. Everything. 

Eddie Munson didn't always hate Christmas. But he did now, because it reminded him of all the people he had lost.

[waitingforwinterwinds]

Game of Thrones - 44 SANSA III (pages 455-462)

Sansa and Jeyne manage to sneak in a bit of time to act their age, Sansa and Arya have a blow out that pushes Sansa passed her threshold for suffering abuse silently, and Ned tells the Stark girls they are going home in the least helpful way possible while Sansa accidentally solves one massive portion of Ned's murder investigation.

The reader, officially turning another year older, faces the daunting march or mortality.

-

Her father's decision still bewildered her. When the Knight of Flowers had spoken up, she'd been sure she was about to see one of Old Nan's stories come to life. Ser Gregor was the monster and Ser Loras was the true hero who would slay him.

Oh hon, Loras would be crushed like a flower without the wiggle room of a tourney to give him tricks to gain advantage. If Sandor hadn't stepped in back then, he'd already be dead. Come on sweetheart, you know this. Urgh, curse your hyper-fixation with romantic stories clouding your perceptions of reality.

Although can we talk about the fact that- oh no, never mind, Ned's already made the call to send them back, of course he's not going to do a good parenting job and talk trough his decisions with Sansa so she can begin to understand what kind of pressures her future husband might be under when he takes petitions, and what kind of choices he has to make and things he must consider, of course Ned's not going to educate Sansa in any manner so she can begin to understand how to better support her husband, she's just there to look pretty and get bred. Maybe seal an alliance if she's extra lucky.

He had touched her cheek, his thumb lightly tracing the line of a cheekbone. "Life is not a song, sweetling. You may learn that one day to your sorrow." Sansa did not feel like telling all that to Jeyne, however; it made her uneasy just to think back on it.

BAD TOUCH!!! Ewww, Petyr Baelish belongs on an offenders registry, and we all know which one.

Sansa shuddered. Every time she looked at Ser Ilyn Payne, she shivered. He made her feel as though something dead were slithering over her naked skin. "Ser Ilyn's almost like a second monster, I'm glad father didn't pick him."

Good instincts, pity she doesn't understand they're telling her to GTFO.

Beric Dondarrion was handsome enough , but he was awfully old, almost twenty-two;

...OUCH. Excuse me, I need to go lie down, my Ancient and crumbling body of Pre-historic Age needs a moment.

"I'm sure I don't know why Arya does anything." Sansa hated stables, smelly places full of manure and flies. Even when she went riding, she liked the boy to saddle the horse and bring bit to her in the yard.

Yeah, see, there it is again. That repulsion for dirty things and smells, there's also an undercurrent in the way she talks about the pageantry of the southern court, it really does vibe like Sansa has a sensory thing.

Jeyne yawned. "Are there any lemon cakes?" Sansa did not like being interrupted, but she had to admit, lemon cakes sounded more interesting than most of what had gone on in the throne room. "Let's see," she said. The kitchen yielded no lemon cakes, but they did find half a cold strawberry pie, and that was almost as good. They ate it on the tower steps, giggling and gossiping and sharing secrets, and Sansa went to bed that night feeling almost as wicked as Arya.

omg that's so cute, look at these eleven year olds sneaking half a pie and being girls. This is going to hurt so much later. 🙃

🍋🍋🍋=🥛🥛🥛

Arya screwed her face up in a scowl. "Jaime Lannister murdered Jory and Heward and Wyl, and the Hound murdered Mycah. Somebody should have beheaded them." "I's not the same," Sansa said. "The Hound is Joffrey's sworn shield. Your butcher's boy attacked the prince."

Mmmm, that's not quite how it happened, but how many times has Sansa told herself a specific version of events in her head to cope with what happened, to deal with the fact that she's engaged to someone who was fully prepared to murder her sister and a peasant boy, she might actually believe it by now.

She's also right though, it's not the same. Ned can actually do something about this situation, politically it's tricky, but he has the time, power, and wiggle room to at least make the attempt to stop Gregor.

When she saw what the fruit in her lap had done to her beautiful ivory silk dress, she shrieked. "You're horrible," she screamed at her sister. "They should have killed you instead of Lady!" ... Sansa stalked away with her head up. She was to be a queen, and queens did not cry. At least not where people could see. When she reached her bed chamber, she barred the door and took off her dress. The blood orange had left a blotchy red stain on the silk. "I hate her!" she screamed. She balled up the dress and flung it into the cold hearth, on top of the ashes of last night's fire. When she saw that the stain had bled through onto her underskirt, she began to sob despite herself. She ripped off the rest of her clothes wildly, threw herself into bed, and cried herself to sleep.

Speaking as a sibling, I can tell you all that this is unfortunately not unheard of behaviour between siblings.

But also this is absolutely not about the dress being ruined, the dress being ruined was just the straw that broke the camels back. Sansa has not been okay since the trident, and she has been keeping it together so admirably through sheer determination and an unhealthy amount of disassociation.

Arya got to talk to her dad a bit, got to have it out and face what she was feeling with what happened, but no one has given two shits about Sansa's state of mind.

"Oh she's so well behaved we don't need to worry about her," is literally the phrase that gets so many people, including a significant number of older siblings, marched to the edge of a full mental breakdown. Sansa needs therapy, just because no one is helping her face the trauma she's been experiencing, some of which - looking at you Petyr - she doesn't even understand she's experiencing.

FURTHER MORE- why am I having flashbacks to Sansa's first period in the tv show?

Sansa sat up. "Lady," she whispered. For a moment it was as if the direwolf was there in the room, looking at her with those golden eyes, sad and knowing. She had been dreaming, she realized. Lady was with her, and they were running together, and... and... trying to remember was like trying to catch the rain with her fingers. The dream faded, and Lady was dead again.

... Someone, please help this girl. She is Going Through Some Stuff.

But also was that a real Wolf Dream? or just a dream about Lady who had just been brought up? If it was real, how? Were they just running in the dream realm, or did they astral project into the real world, or did they hijack someone else's paws?

"Arya started it," Sansa said quickly, anxious to have the first word. ... Arya raised her eyes. "I'm sorry father. I was wrong and I beg my sweet sister's forgiveness."

Oh I know that feels. There were so many times in school, who ever spoke first some how had this... it was like speaking first some how made your version of events truer in the teachers' eyes, more valid. Except for a few people, who were always in the wrong even when they never actually did anything wrong because they were the teacher's least favourite. ... You are but words on the page and yet I can hear your insincerity from here Arya.

- they were going to send her back to the bleak grey walls of Winterfell and lock her up forever. Her life was over before it had begun.

On the one hand, oh sweetheart you are such a melodramatic little thing. There's more to life, I promise you, yes I know it is your special interest, but still.

But on the other hand: She has a point. GRRM doesn't give the Northerners a lot of colour or depth. (at least he hasn't thus far in the text.) Northern "cultural practices" are basically 'being stoic' and 'frost resistant.'

[byler-forever-7]

I made an Eleven's pov edit of Byler. (does that makes sense?)

POV:

The actual idea of this edit was to collect some Byler proofs and to empathize with El :( (I feel so sad about her but at the same time I think it is a really good story to tell, to be the girlfriend of a gay men, like, idk I find it interesting)

But it evolved, some how and now It actually has a pov? That is why is open to interpretation and here is mine:

Mike and Will are in a secret relationship because of the homophobia (Troy's audio and calling it "dirty thoughts/socks") and they went to the Snow Ball. Will got asked to dance and Mike did it as well with El, but he kissed her and that pissed off Will (1st fight).

After that Mike continued hanging out with El because he rejected to accept he is gay so they got into another fight where Mike's after being an asshole begs Wi for forgiveness.

That's why He gets cold with El and started being weird which it hurts El, because he doesn't explain to her anything and so she talks to Max and she said that he will do the same as he did with Will (come back and apologize) but it actually never happens.

Eleven understands then why he didn't, and this song is actually why.

It's so sad.

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INFO:

As I said this video actually compiles some of the theories that I found most interesting.

— "When Blue meets Yellow in the West".

— The posters of S3/S4.

— On the Snow Dance, Mike projected his feelings to Will into Eleven.

— The two most important situations with both of them and how Mike reacted to them.

1. Mileven breakup vs Byler fight, how Mike run out raining trying to apologize to Will vs how he actually didn't care and only acted like he was pissed off with Eleven.

2. Will VS Eleven going missing: Mike did everything (including letting a stranger sleep in his house and going again in the rain trying to look for Will) to find Will when he didn't even knew if he was really alive, but when El got missing and HE SAW HER alive, he only talked to his walkie-talkie everyday trying to not feel guilty (and that one really hurts me).

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And this is it, I hope u liked it and that u watch it, because this is literally my art :(. Anyway I have seen a lot of Byler unrequited edits from Will's pov, but we never get to see Mike's pov or El's so, this is why I made this :).