#“ew this tastes like crunchy water”

[builtlikeastickofcelery]

the other night i had a dream that i was leo and the whole family was vacationing on a tropical island except there were these teleport spots that teleported you, so I was trying to teleport to a cool beach or reef or something but only humans could activate the teleporter and I wanted this girl (I went to camp with her) to teleport me and for some reason she was sitting on a surfboard and I think Rupert Grint and this kid in one of my classes who has great hair were also waiting so I was like “i need goggles” and I ran back to the resort which was 100% made of nicely stained wood and full of white people and small children crying there was dragonfruit in flower shapes and just like a whole melon which I took and for some reason I (Leo) distinctly remember HATING dragonfruit but I (dusky) personally love it so that was confusing but anyway I tried to go back but there was an obstacle course and the first obstacle was a 2 foot horizontal jump to some broken stairs and there was an old man facilitating and blocking my view and I could not see the rest of the course and I spent the whole rest of the dream trying to get across. The end. (This is a draft from a WHILE ago)

[uva-academy-vio]

ok but what ARE the flavors though

-hari

so glad you asked dude :]]

normal - tastes like a rock. it's bland. kind of salty.

water - tastes like a rock. obviously. it's a bit wet, though. also pretty salty. but like, sea salt.

fire - rock flavored. has a kick to it. sort of spicy. it is HOT though. like if you left it outside for several hours covered in several dark-coloured blankets.

grass - moss flavored. also rock flavored. but mostly moss. you can sort of taste chives or garlic, but it's mostly just moss.

electric - tastes like rocks. a bit sour. lemony, but only slightly. it leaves a fizz in your mouth. like those popping candies. i can never remember the name.

rock - you're NEVER gonna guess what this one tastes like. that's right- it tastes like a rock. but even MORE this time?? i don't even know HOW it's possible but it sure does taste like a rock

ground - tastes like dirt. and rocks. mostly dirt. kind of bitter. and salty.

flying - DRY. tastes like a rock. slightly sweet. it's slightly cold, too. like air conditioning.

fighting - crunchy. tastes like a rock. it's slightly salty, but also kinda bitter. mostly savory, but not enough to balance out the rock flavour. you'll immediately get a REALLY bad leg cramp though.

psychic - rock flavoured. slightly sweet. it wakes you up, though. it's uncomfortably moist.

fairy - tastes like. well. a ROCK. it's kind of sweet. it's surprisingly fluffy, for well, a fucking rock. melts in your mouth, kind of like a meringue.

ghost - tastes like a rock. i've said this for a while. very bitter. kind of salty. it doesn't really feel like you're eating it, though. it's hard to chew, rock part aside. idk if it's just me but i can hear some feint whispering whenever i'm near one but like. that's what happens when i'm near ANY ghost-type.

dark - tastes like a rock. obviously. SALTY. it's got a REALLY unpleasant aftertaste. like how hard-boiled eggs smell. it's the WORST.

bug - tastes like a rock. and fucking BUG GUTS. dont eat this shit

poison - it'll give you food poisoning. idk what you expected. and yes, it tastes like a rock.

steel - tastes like metal. it gives me sensory issues. COLD.

ice - rock flavored. and ice flavored. REALLY COLD.

dragon - tastes like a rock. and scales. ew. bitter.

[sincerelyciarra]

A Brief Vegetable Ranking

by someone who doesn’t really like vegetables, and especially not raw ones (the wet kronch is Bad)

🥦🍅🍆🥬🥒🥕🌽🥔🧅🥦🍅🍆🥬🥒🥕🌽🥔

Artichoke: Not really sure what these taste like. Not a fan of spinach and artichoke dip because I can’t get past the idea that something Suspicious is going on in there. I know people eat artichoke hearts but, ngl, seems like a lot of work with little reward. 3/10

Asparagus: Far too expensive for such a little dude. Looks and tastes the most like what I imagine the first branch off a young, spring sapling tastes like. Smells like you did something wrong when you cooked it, even if you did not. If I ever had to make a Scarecrow-Medusa, this is what I would make her hair out of. 2/10

Broccoli: Roasted broccoli is fucking delicious, and I’ll hear nothing to the contrary. Also very good in soup! 10/10

Carrots: Not my favorite. Fine in small amounts, but too much becomes Too Much a lot quicker than you’d expect. Good in curry. Not as good for your eyes or as popular with rabbits as Looney Tunes would have you believe. 5/10

Cauliflower: (Please see, Broccoli.) Bonus points for also coming in purple. 11/10

Celery: Looks and tastes like the color green, but in the worst possible way. When you learned about chlorophyll in the fifth grade, this is the smell you imagined. Gets points back for being delicious in chicken soup, but ultimately not worth the pain of having to dodge around it while you’re eating because. Ew. 3/10

Corn: An objectively superior vegetable in almost all ways. Would eat in every form except as cornbread. 15/10

Cucumbers: Whoever started the idea that adding slices of cucumber to water would make it Crisp and Refreshing is Wrong and A Liar™ and Should Be Punished For Their Crimes. Water is already on thin ice, taste wise, and the addition of cucumber ruins the experience entirely. However, you can place the slices over your eyelids for a little at-home spa day like Ashley Tisdale in HSM 2. 1/10

Eggplant: Full points for inspiring the word Aubergine, which rolls off the tongue in such a delightfully pretentious way. Also, eggplant parmesan is good, maybe? (hearsay, unsourced.) 10/10

Green Beans: A favorite, but only when they come from a can, otherwise they’re too crunchy. (Fresh green beans are acceptable roasted.) 9/10

Lettuce: BIG HATE. All of the bad qualities of celery with none of the good. An evil leaf that sits limply on top of your food, dripping its horrible juices all over everything. My personal hell-food. Irredeemable. Abhorrent. -10,000/10

Onions: I don’t personally fuck with onions, but only a fool would deny how much onions have done for us as a society. Truly the backbone of modern cuisine. Just wish they didn’t look and feel Like That when cooked. 20/10

Peas: Do people still eat peas? Who decided that peas were going to be the Frozen Vegetable Staple™ for multiple generations of americans?? I’m pretty sure I’ve only had peas in chicken pot pie and so-so vegetable soup, and they’re nothing to write home about. Genuinely would not know how to cook them if asked. Points for always being tucked in the back of your freezer for when you need something to ice your knee. 2/10

Potatoes: GOD TIER. Fantastic in all forms. Also, to those of you saying that potatoes don’t count as a vegetable because they’re mostly starch: learn from NASA’s mistakes and stop trying to pluto my boy off the food pyramid. Respect your elders. 100/10.

Spinach: It’s fine I guess?? Feel like it could be doing more for itself. 5/10

Tomatoes: Do Not understand the appeal. Uncomfortably wet and full of seeds. The thought of biting into a cherry tomato and having it squish in my mouth fills me with dread. Delicious in soup (sometimes) but I could and would live without it. 4/10

Zucchini: Someone brought in a loaf of zucchini bread to an elementary school pot luck and I never got over the betrayal. 0/10

[saltvault]

(this entire post is about food and eating i’m really sorry)

i like onions. they taste good. but as soon as feel that little crunch in my mouth i just cannot eat them. well actually that’s a lie i can eat them but only sometimes. like if they’re chopped up really small and i can’t pick them out, but they still get on my nerves so i try to avoid them.

also iceberg lettuce. (i had to google what it’s called) it’s yummy. i mean it’s just crunchy water. but that’s why i hate it so much??? because it’s crunchy?? i despise it. 

and PICKLES. oh my god i hate pickles. and tomatoes are on thin fucking ice. crunchy foods are just weird and just a no from me.

i dunno. crunch is just ew.

[tontawantu]

Rules: complete the questions then tag 8 blogs you want to get to know better

Tagged by @bald-sungjin​ thanks!! 💙

Favorite color: black

Musician: exo, day6 (and many more, we’ll be here all day if i start listing them out lol)

Last song I listened to: all alone - day6

Last tv show I watched: mr. heart

Sweet, spicy, or savory: spicy/savory

Bubbly water, tea, or coffee: coffee (bubbly water is ew, it tastes like crunchy water)

Not tagging anyone, feel free do it if you want :)

[madrabbitsociety]

RABBIT’S MAGICAL TUNA RECIPE

(Not Vegan Friendly, it has Tuna in it)

(Correction, I’ve been informed you can make vegan tuna?)  1. Get canned tuna and open it. Drain out gross water. Wash hands profusely because coronavirus but also ew that water. Put tuna from can into vessel of some kind. Bowl will work but you could use a hat if that's all you have. Store bought is fine. 2. Probably should've been step one but pull out your toaster and toast some bread. I prefer that wheat bread that is secretly just brown white bread. Toast those lightly, or darkly, I'm not the boss of you. 3. Spoon some mayo into the tuna while your bread is breading. Better have a lot because you're going to put it on the bread, too. Also, have a frying pan on standby heating up. 3.5. Add a squirt of brown mustard to your tuna mayo mash. Then maybe another squirt. Then two shakes of hot sauce but like, it's the apocalypse so three shakes of hot sauce. Now for spices. 4. Shake in some salt, pepper and Old Bay. Use the pink salt because mom says it's better for you but you'll need to use more of that because it has no taste. 5. Add more salt. 6. The bread should have alerted you to it's readiness either by popping up or setting off your smoke detector. 7. Don't forget to mix up the tuna and other ingredients? That's important. 8. Salt. 9. Safely retrieve the bread which is now toast. Spread more fucking mayonnaise on one side of each piece. It would be both sides but I just forgot while making it. 10. That's right, baby, we're tunamelting it like a grilled cheese. 11. Slap one piece of bread in that hot frying pan, mayo side down, thus asserting your dominance over it and the other ingredients. Place a single deli size slice of cheese on it. I used mild cheddar because Aldi was a bitch and didn't have yellow sharp cheddar. 12. Yes, Yellow makes a difference when buying Cheddar. 13. What was I doing? OH, turning up the heat to six because the mayo doesn't look like it's browning. 14. Scoop some tunamash onto the bread that is cooking. Then, strategically tuck it in for the night with a layer of baby spinach. Their sacrifice will be worth it in the end, apparently like your grandparents for the economy. 15. Place the non-mayo side of your remaining piece of bread on top of the whole shebang. 16. When the first pan side of bread is a brunette, flip the whole sandwich so you can redye the remaining blonde side. 17. Again, outer crunchiness or your smoke detector will alert you to your sandwich's readiness. 18. Remove the sandwich from the pan before eating. I also like to slice it down the middle because I'm not a heathen like you triangle slicers.

[elvendara]

March Madness 2020

March 1st 2020

March 2nd 2020

He stretched, his body and mind fully awake for the first time in weeks. He blinked and sat up abruptly. He was in Saeran’s bed! His heart stopped for a split second before he could breath again. His mind reached back. Remembering Saeran’s arm around him, holding him close. His eyes scanned the bed then the room. Saeran was gone. Had he imagined the closeness? The soft brush of Saeran’s lips on the back of his neck? His fingers tangled in his hair? Or was it all a dream? A wish fulfilled only in his imagination?

He stood and stretched once more. He hesitated before walking out into the hallway. Not seeing anyone, he went across to the bathroom and took care of his morning business. There was a tube of toothpaste and he used his finger to run some over his teeth, it was the best he could do, he didn’t want to be presumptuous and use Saeran’s toothbrush. Ewe, that was gross, what was he thinking? Turning on the faucet he held his hands under the running water then ran his wet fingers through his mess of hair, shifting the hair clips back to their rightful place. Having run out of things to occupy his time, he took one last look at himself, grateful that the bags under his eyes were considerably lessened. It would probably take a couple of days of decent sleep to remove them completely. But he felt better, and hopeful. Although Saeran had reacted harshly, he hadn’t tossed him out or insisted there was nothing between them. He nodded to himself and squared his shoulders.

There were sounds coming from the kitchen and he made his way there. Saeran stood in front of the cabinets and rummaged around. He brought out a pan and placed it on the stove before he noticed Yoosung.

“You’re awake. Finally, I thought you’d sleep for a week.” His tone was off-putting but Yoosung noticed it didn’t quite reach his eyes. Had they always been that soft shade of mint green? Somehow, he remembered them being sharper.

He went in closer and leaned against the counter bar. “How long was I out?”

“Almost 24 hours.” Saeran replied as he broke open some eggs into a bowl. He added some spices then whisked them together.

“What are you making?” Yoosung asked, feeling a little more comfortable. He was nervous about what they weren’t talking about, but Saeran seemed at ease. He wouldn’t kick him out if he was being this nice. Would he? Yoosung watched silently as Saeran made an omelet and placed it over rice that was already on a plate. He placed it in front of him, giving him a fork as well.

“Omurice, for you, eat.” Saeran turned away and poured a cup of coffee for Yoosung as well. Yoosung just stared at the plate. Saeran had cooked for him? That was a good sign, right? His heartbeat increased and he felt tears coming to his eyes. God, what was wrong with him? It was just breakfast! “Eat!” Saeran’s stern voice made him jump and he jabbed his fork into the egg.

It was…interesting, was that…cinnamon? He tried not to make a face and fake smiled, making indistinct noises.

Saeran crossed his arms and watched Yoosung eat.

“Are…you going to eat too?” Yoosung asked.

“I’ve already eaten, nothing special, just some cereal.”

“Oh, OK.” He dug into the food once more and forced himself to finish as quickly as possible, using the watered-down coffee to wash it down with.

“Wow. You really must like me.” Saeran arched his eyebrow with a frown.

“What?”

“I can’t believe you ate the whole thing.”

“It…it was…good.” Yoosung lied. Lied through his teeth like a liar McLiar pants. Saeran had done something nice for him, why would he complain about it? And yes, it had been a tad crunchy with some eggshells in it, and the sweetness was out of place, there was some acidic ingredient he couldn’t quite place, but still, Saeran had made him something!

“Don’t lie to me!” Saeran loomed over the counter across from Yoosung, his eyes narrowed. “I can’t stand that! I hate it when Saeyoung does it, and I hate it when you do it! I’m not fragile you know; I can take your criticism! I’m not gonna’ fall apart! If there is one thing I don’t ever what to happen to me again, it’s someone I care about lying to me!”

Yoosung was taken aback. His eyes blinked rapidly at the amount of words coming out of Saeran. And, wait, what was that last part?

“Care…about?” he couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face. Saeran pushed away from the counter and rolled his eyes. “You care about me! I knew it!”

“Oh for God’s sake, that’s what your fixated on? Yes, OK, I care about you, I never said I didn’t! I just think you’re an idiot for wanting more than just friendship or being an acquaintance. I’ll make your life miserable and you know it! And I’m not letting the lying thing drop either!” he pointed his finger at Yoosung, but although the words were harsh, there was very little power behind them.

“I’m sorry. You’re right. They were awful and I never want you to cook for me again. Or make coffee, did you even use any coffee grounds? And who made the rice? Some of them weren’t even cooked all the way and the rest were overcooked. Also, what the hell was that acidic taste?”

“Lemon juice.” Saeran grinned.

[lucietope]

Colour Information Collected So Far

Red:

Sound: a loud explosion, the sirens of a fire engine or ambulance, an alarm, a heartbeat, drums

Taste: hot and spicy chillies, tangy peppers, sweet strawberries, sweet, intense, cherries,  blood, metallic,

Touch: standing outside in the sun and feeling its heat, burnt skin

Smell: burning cinnamon, fruity berries, roses

Emotion: feeling embarrassed and your cheeks are blushed, the overwhelming feeling of anger and aggression, the uncontrollable feeling of love and passion, when all your senses are alert, an urgent feeling, grabbing your attention to stop, feeling pain from bleeding, madness and out of control, emotions that make you act out of character

 Danger, anger, pain, embarrassed, passion, love, blushed, red cheeks, alert, urgent, attention, stop, aggression, sex, madness, action, energy

 Experience: They had me stand outside in the sun. They told me that the heat I was feeling is red. They explained that red is the colour of a burn, from heat, embarrassment, or even anger.

 Burn, heat, danger, anger, sun, blood, fire, hot, embarrassed, blushed, red cheeks, spicy, peppers, apples, chillies, strawberries, sweet, intense, cherries,  sirens, alarms, alert, urgent, attention, stop, sex, strength, aggression, madness, explosion, pain

 Orange:

Sound: Neutral, it is neither stop nor is it go, sounds like kids playing, having fun, giggling and laughter, birds tweeting, fire crackling,

Taste: sweet and tangy, tropical fruits and juices, cocktails in the sun, refreshing and light, oranges, crunchy carrots, pumpkins, citrus, peaches, passionfruit, mango, zesty, radiant, sweet potato

Touch: Warm, soft, an orange peel, stingy eyes,

Smell: flames, citrus, tangy, oranges, sun lotion, burning candles, incense,

Emotion: Twilight, as the night begins to draw in on a sunny day, excitement, enthusiasm, encouraging, always on your side, walking down a road and stepping on crunchy leaves as the leaves fall in autumn

Refreshing, sweet, tropical, sun, warm, comfort, content, security, frustration, oranges, fruits,

 Yellow:

Sound: Pulsating energy, Caribbean drums

Taste: Sour lemons, sweet bananas, citrus, creamy custard, butter, pineapple, pina colada, sorbet, tart, sweet icing on a cake

Touch: Banana skins, dry, fluffy chicks, sand, warm skin,

Smell: Flowers blossoming, fruity, the beach

Emotion: Feeling full of energy, you are happy, being friendly and kind, the feeling of cheer, being optimistic and confident, the prospect of new life, bright and intense, it’s intensity can lead to frustration and anxiety, extremely visible, grabs your attention, irritating, feels like summer,

 Lemons, banana, sour, citrus, sweet, nourishing, sun, bright, happy, friendliness, cheerfulness, optimism, confidence, anxiety

 Green:

Sound: Peace, the rainforest, a breeze, a frog croaking, parakeets tweeting in a bush, crunchy

Taste: Cold cucumbers, crunchy green beans, broccoli, soft peas, juicy apples, spinach, salad leaves, brussel sprouts, cabbage, herbs, basil, coriander, thyme, rosemary, olives, limes, bitter grapes

Touch: Holding soft leaves and wet grass, both smooth and crisp,

Smell: Fresh mint, clean air, musty, rotten, green is natural and can smell either good or bad, vegetables, herbal, freshly cut grass, toothpaste, mossy, foul

Emotion: Feeling alive, growth, feeling healthy and balanced, green is clean and encouraging, mother nature, feeling refreshed, suppleness, peace and harmony, feeling jealous or envious, restful, soothing, healing, decaying and poisonous, hydrated

 I held soft leaves and wet grass. They told me green felt like life. To this day it is still very much my favourite colour.

Alive, plants, smooth, suppleness, leaves, life, salad, lettuce, spinach, clean, crisp, earth, bitter, mint, fresh, healthy, balance, refreshment, harmony, environment, peace, disgusting, ew, rotten, zombie

 Blue:

Sound: The sounds of waves crashing, droplets running from a tap, the sound of rain against a window, a gushing waterfall, a river current, light and heavy, quiet and loud, soft and powerful

Taste: Sweet blueberries, artificial bubblegum, peppermint, salty, like the sea, briny

Touch: Running your hands through water, dipping into a pool, wet, laying your head on your pillow, denim

Smell: The dentist or the doctors, medical, men’s aftershave, the salty sea

Emotion: That omnipresent coolness you feel whilst swimming, feeling relaxed, blue is cool and light, feeling intelligent, feels like having a cold, a runny nose, feeling down, icy, distant, isolated, conservative and traditional, tranquillity, secure and orderly, lonely, masculine, unappetising, heavenly, emotional, inspirational

 Cool, water, light, clear, deep, wet, relaxing, waves, calm, nice, intelligence, coolness, serenity, logic, sky

They put my hands in their pool. They told me that that sensation I felt while swimming, that omnipresent coolness, that’s blue. Blue feels like relaxation.

 Purple:

Sound: Owls tweeting in a forest, magic, fictional children’s films, fantasy

Taste: Juicy plums, grapes, berries, parma violets sweets, aubergines

Touch: Velvet,

Smell: Lavender, musky and aromatic,

Emotion: Feeling luxurious, purple is mysterious and sometimes spooky, being aware of spirituality and your dreams, linked with royalty, imaginative, it is rare in nature so it is intriguing, exotic and artificial, regal, sensual, lush, peaceful, a deep daydream, wisdom, unearthly, evokes creativity, stimulates the body, a harmonious balance of awareness and peace, the feeling of escaping reality,

 Spiritual awareness, mystery, luxury, royalty, truth, dreams

 Pink:

Sound: noisy, little girl’s voices, people chatting, giggling

Taste: sweet, sugar, jelly beans, marshmallows, ice cream, lollipops, strawberries and cream, cupcakes, icing, doughnuts,

Touch: soft, fluffy things, light,

Smell: Women’s perfume, bubblegum, candy floss at a fair, smells cheap, fruity and sweet, floral, blossom

Emotion: feeling nurtured, pink is warm and comforting, feeling feminine, light hearted and bubbly, can regulate moods, youthful, good health, playfulness, the feeling of your first love,  innocent and cheerful,  caring and compassionate, the feeling of unconditional love, motherly love, considerate, the feeling that everything will go well and be okay, a sign of hope,  tender, intuitive, comfort, gentle, emotional, takes us back to our childhood, inexperience, naivety, lack of self-confidence and self-esteem

 Nurture, warmth, femininity, love

 White:

Sound: peace, silence, slow music, a piano

Taste: bland, flavourless, simple, vanilla, milk, cream, thick, white chocolate

Touch: can be soft, crisp, fluffy, smooth, snowflakes slowly falling on your face, icy cold, hard like diamonds

Smell: clean and pure, fresh linen, washing powder, soap, powdery, aquatic, lilies,

Emotion: heavenly, a feeling of clarity, innocence, feeling at peace, emptiness, loneliness,  can create space,  sterile, can feel empty and unfriendly, untouched, a blank canvas, a new beginning or fresh start, harmonious, safe, fresh, a feeling of concentration and focus, serious, the opposite of black, light

 Grey:

Sound: heavy rainfall, thunder,

Taste: bland and dull, beans and plain oatmeal, chalky

Touch: concrete, hard walls, dry surfaces, harsh to the skin, a sturdy road under your feet, cold, dead, stones, gravel, cold

Smell:

Emotion: dull, nothingness, it is futuristic, architectural, depression, boredom, feeling tired and lacking energy, has no personality, it is unattached and unresponsive, neutral, indecisive, emotionless, strong and steady, cool, a feeling of restraint, holding yourself back, it is exhausting and discouraging, formal, never captivating, mature and obliging, associated with old age, our hair turns grey, modest, hard working, being ill

 Concrete, walls, pavements, metal, hard, cool or hot, strong, sturdy, road, dead, storm, thunder, rain, sky, dark, depressing

 Brown:

Sound: sludging through mud

Taste: mushrooms, coffee, a rich chocolate cake, dry like toast, crumble, cookies, warm and nutty, cereal, wheat, caramel, chocolate, cashews, roast dinners, meat, pies and gravy, hot chocolate, tea

Touch: walking through mud, dirt, touching the bark of a tree, sandpaper, rough, dry, warm, solid like the earth

Smell: woody, coffee beans, the bark of a tree, landfill, bins, faeces, campfires, vanilla, smokey, decay, smells like baking cakes, cooking bread, food waste

Emotion: disliking something, feeling dirty and unclean, reliability, supportive, can feel cosy but can also feel dull, wholesome, the feeling of being full or bloated, comforting, secure, resilient, serious, duty and responsibility, honest and genuine, organic, the feeling of being outdoors,

 Earth, dead, dirt, crispy, reliability, support,

 Black:

Sound: the roar of engines, bass, screaming,

Taste: liquorice, dark chocolate, pepper, rich and intense, blackberries, charred food

Touch: smooth and hard,

Smell: coal, blown out flames, smoke

Emotion: feeling anxious, like the whole world is about to come crashing down, dark, depressed, gloomy, sad, misery, mourning, grieving, feeling hungry, clear winter nights, sophisticated and glamorous, menacing, oppressive, a feeling of dread, fear, the horrible feeling after having a nightmare, the opposite of white, dark

[i-eat-bread-and-cry-on-the-floor]

out of context quotes from my school as marvel characters

Teacher: In 1950, there were a ton of planes crashing and no one knew why. Does anyone know?

Peter Q: The Bermuda Triangle.

---

Clint: Wait, (Bucky's) here? Where's Bucky?

Bucky: *from the back of the room* Here.

Clint: Oh, hi I didn't even see you!

Bucky: It's okay, I'm just really invisible.

Everyone: 0o0

---

Teacher: Is that what you should be doing? What should you be doing instead?

Loki: Dying.

Everyone: WOAHHHHHHH!

---

Peter P: Hey. Hey, hey, hey, *taps on shoulder* I'd die for you.

Loki: I'd kill for you.

Peter P: 0o0

---

Tony: Felt cute, might break down in physics later, idk.

---

Rocket: I feel a really strong connection with communism.

---

Natasha: *walks into bathroom* Are y'all still doing TikToks in here? I HAVE TO PEE! *walks out*

---

Thor: Don't you just hate it when *spoon.*

---

Tony: Y'ever just feel so depressed and anxious that your stomach physically hurts?

Steve: Mood, but can I do anything for you?

---

Bruce: The next person to make a VSCO thot noise is getting thrown out of this room.

Everyone: sksksksk and i oop-

Bruce, under a table: homocide is bad, homocide is bad, hoMOCIDE IS BAD-

---

Peter Q: Wait, who here likes Pink Floyd?

Steve: I love Pink Floyd! *fist bump*

Tony: Pink Floyd is the best! *fist bump*

Peter P: Yeah, man, my camp wrote a whole musical about Bigfoot! *goes in for a fist bump*

Peter Q: I'm sorry what.

Peter P: He said something different didn't he?

Tony: Oh my god.

---

Scott: What's an apple made of?

T'Challa: Um... apple?

Scott: No, but like what's in the apple?

T'Challa: APPLE??

Scott: NO, WHAT MAKES UP THE APPLE?

T'Challa: IDK ATOMS?

Shuri: 10% of the apple is carbohydrate and 4% is vitamins and minerals while the other 86% is water.

Scott: Thank you.

---

Everyone: *talking over each other*

Pepper: Please, stop talking over each other!

Drax: No!

Carol: *pulls out UNO reverse card* SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Everyone: *silence*

---

Groot: I am Groot. (Translation: In case I die, mark my last words)

Rocket: Okay..

Groot: 420-69 The Earth is flat. *does the dangerous thing*

Rocket: Me too.

---

Pietro: The legs on the bus go leg leg step.

Wanda: ?????

Pietro: Leg leg leg.

Wanda: ???????????

Pietro: STEP STEP STEP.

---

Loki: Vandalism isn't bad.

Valkyrie: No, but your haircut is.

Thor: HOLY SHIT DUDE YOU FUCKING KILL EM!

---

Teacher: How many of you would feel comfortable being the first person to go on a new roller coaster?

Drax: *raises hand*

Drax: Was that the wrong answer.

Tony, on the other side of class, hand also raised: Livin like Larry, the rest of you are fools.

---

Bucky: What if he didn't have a government and everyone promised really hard just to be cool?

---

Peter P, a gen z kid: I wanna lay down on the ground and sob until I'm so dehydrated that I die.

Shuri, another gen z kid: Do it at your house or something! Not on this sticky floor! Yuck.

---

Pietro: We suffer for gluten to obtain the grain.

Wanda: ?????

Pietro: You wondering what's coursing through my veins? Pure Marinara sauce.

Wanda: YOU'RE NOT MAKING SENSE??

---

Thor: No fan, it's man.

Valkyrie: I have no idea what you were getting at there but ok.

Thor: I meant 'no man, it's fine.'

---

Clint: I have a theory.

Rhodey: NO, NOT THIS SHIT AGAIN. I DON'T WANNA HEAR ABOUT ANYMORE DINOSAUR FEET.

Clint: IT'S NOT THE DINOSAUR FOOT ONE!

Fury: Save it for after (the meeting.)

Clint: What if the real birds are in Area 51? And they didn't actually kill them, they're just hostage in Area 51??

Steve: Everyone already knows that, you're a terrible conspiracy theorist.

---

Tony: Just because someone else does it, does not mean you can! Look, if I jumped off a bridge, would you?

Peter P, on the verge of tears: HSDTUETIGKHJC PROBABLY! I'm not about to live my life without you!

---

Nebula: OOOH, wait, where's the vandalism we drew here last year?

---

Thor: Oh my god, I really want a happy meal.

Bruce: Oh my god, I really want a happy life.

Thor: Honey, we've talked about this.

---

Tony: Time to go home! *sits in garbage can*

Pepper: Hey, that was really mean to yourself, get outta there. *tries helping him up*

Pepper: Ew I touched the garbage can!

Tony: Hey, that's my house!

---

Loki: When you have a kink for pushing people out of windows.

---

Steve, after being flipped off: WHA- (TONY) SAID A BAD LANGUAGE FINGER!

---

Scott: I don't think cheese is crunchy?

---

Sam: Bro it's 3:33am.

Bucky: *looks at phone* oh wow, it is!

Sam: What, did you think I was lying to you?

Sam: No, it's 3:32am. Hahahah, look at the camera, you just got pranked.

Bucky: *laughing hysterically* it's too late for this shit.

---

Bruce: BREATHE IF YOU FIND ME ATTRACTIVE.

Bruce: And that's how I committed mass genocide.

Thor, hyperventilating in the corner:

---

Rhodey: Global warming. It sucks.

Peter P: Global warming isn't real?

Scott: How could there be GLOBAL warming if the earth is flat?

Rhodey: I hate you guys

Peter/Scott: *high fives each other.*

---

Strange, high as fuck: Why is that funny? I don't even know what a seizure tastes like?

---

Okoye: Ya girl is DEDICATED!

Shuri: Did you just assume your own gender?

T'Challa: I'm calling the cops.

---

Strange: Did you just glue STARS? Where your EYE BROWS USED TO BE? Emphasis on USED TO BE because you nAIRED THEM OFF! FOR DRAG!

---

Natasha: Anything can be a dildo if you're brave enough.

Clint: *Looks at the knife holders*

Natasha: 0.0

---

Scott: Wait, we were being sarcastic? I'm sorry, I don't understand sarcasm.

Hope: (Scott,) you don't understand anything.

---

Strange: Eat the goddamn president.

---

Steve: I made the mistake of eating sausage while watching the first episode of Black Mirror.

Sam: What's the first episode of Black Mirror about?

Steve: He does the bad thing with the pig.

Sam: OH-

---

Tony: *doing homework* I am dying.

Groot: I am groot.

Steve: Well, I am Steve Rogers.

Pietro: And I'm Kanye West!

Clint: Owoof.

Gamora: And I am not afraid to end your bloodline.

Rocket: And I am inevitable.

Thor: Um, we don't talk about that here.

Peter P: FLEX TAPE CAN'T FIX THAT!

---

Tony: Please, don't nickname me Tone, I can't tell you how much that irritates me.

Steve: Okay, 'Ny.

---

Strange: So, if it's 9 months from conception to birth...

Strange: And my birthday is June 15...

Strange: That means I was conceived in September.

Strange: But my original due date was June 11...

Strange: Which means I was conceived...

Strange: 0o0

---

Pietro: Mirrors are just 'no u' walls.

Rhodey: It's 4 in the morning please stop texting me.

---

Okoye: NO, (BROTHER,) I DON'T WANT TO CHA CHA REAL SMOOTH! STOP HARASSING ME!

---

MORE TO COME! Hope this wasn't too bad.

[bookenders]

Hullo and happy STS! How would some of your OCs describe the taste of their favorite fruit without naming said fruit?

Storyteller Saturday!

Hello @rainy-rose! Happy Saturday and thanks for the ask!

Oh, man, this is gonna test all my writing skills at once. Let’s do this.

Gemma: Uh, sweet and like, fleshy? No, that’s gross. It can be kinda sour if it isn’t ripe enough, and it’s almost nothing like the artificial flavors of it. Especially lip gloss. Ew. But the real thing has a little bit of texture from all the little seeds, and it tastes… light? I guess? Kinda like a happy spring or summer vibe.

Mel: A little bit sharp and tart, but with a sweet turn in the middle. It’s sour when raw, and its color doesn’t tell you the taste. Good on summer days, especially by the water. If you put spice on it, it goes from a yellow-orange juice to a reddish bite on your tongue.

Oz: I don’t know, it tastes how it tastes. Kinda sour sometimes. Not that sweet, I guess. The skin is kinda gross, but you don’t eat it for the skin. Green ones are better. I don’t wanna do this anymore.

Fred: Oh, well, it’s crunchy, and uh, tangy? No, not tangy. What’s halfway between tangy and sweet? Sweet, but sometimes it isn’t? Well, depends on the kind you get. Some are more sour and some are a whole lot sweeter. I like the sour ones. And when Harry has her special Apple Pie? Oh, it’s the best. Oh. Er, wait. My bad. 

Answers: Strawberries, mangoes, grapes, apples!

[schamel-blog]

Sodexo Burgers

I would compare Sodexo Burgers to DQ burgers because you can tell from the pictures that their patties are similar to one another, yet DQ’s are a little thicker. DQ’s burgers also at least look cooked. Sodexo’s patties look like they weren’t even on the grill long enough to put solid grill marks on it. The patties are also soaked in grease sitting under a light, so you never know how long your burger has been sitting out for, ew. The biggest issue for me with their burgers is the grease because it will drip onto my bun and plate. I wonder if Sodexo checks the temperature of their burgers before they serve them to students, but I doubt they do. To make my Sodexo burger edible I put some spinach on it and mayo. I usually put tomatoes on my burger but can’t at the Dining Halls because their tomatoes are so diced they fall out of my bun once I take a bite. I did my research and tomatoes are ranked 11/12, 12 being the worse when it comes to the best toppings on burgers because at their worst they decrease the quality of the burger. Grillist also says lettuce is ranked 8/12 because it’s nothing special. Lettuce tastes like water and it’s freshness and crunchiness adds to the quality of the burger. I tend to use spinach personally because it’s more nutritious. I can eat a burger with everything on it, but I’d prefer only lettuce/spinach and tomato, so it’s disappointing to discover that the toppings I like to put on my burger aren’t the best to put on it. The website states that cheese is the best topping because it’s like peanut butter and jelly, “a perfect culinary partner.” Number two is onions due to it being so versatile, there are tons of varieties of onions. I can understand this ranking because not every place’s onions are the same. For instance, Mcdonald’s onions are chopped. I do think these are accurate assessments of toppings because the explanations behind them are understandable. My only issue is the website assessment on the number one topping, cheese because to me a burger without cheese is a waste. Overall, I would only recommend eating a cheeseburger from the Dining Halls if you decide to put toppings on it.

[runjaishungry]

About 12 years ago, I had Thai food for the first time in Denton, Texas at a Thai restaurant called Thai Ocha, which, even by the standards I hold today as someone who has eaten a lot of Thai food, around the US and the world, is a really, really good Thai restaurant.

Somehow I discovered peanut curry (despite that fact that, as a Thai food amateur, I often chose the default pad thai or pad see ew, like all the other novices). The peanut curry at Thai Ocha blew my mind; I’d never had anything like it. It was sweet and spicy, peanutty and complex. To make things more interesting, I have not found this peanut curry in Bangkok, or in many Thai restaurants in the US. I’ve found peanut sauce but that has a different consistency, flavor, and use. Asking for peanut curry gotten me confused stares from servers enough times that I have stopped asking. 

I often made peanut curry at home, but it was never the same. It was too salty, or not flavorful enough, or -- the worst-- it lacked something I could never put my finger on. 

Yesterday, I made a peanut curry that changed all that. The peanut curry I made tasted exactly like what I had had at Thai Ocha many years ago. The secret? Red curry paste.

It has never occurred to me to use red curry paste in a peanut curry. Down the street from my apartment is a small shop that sells fresh red curry paste in small packets. Damn, this stuff is good. It’s spicy and complex. I often make spicy red curry soup with it. 

I decided to use it in the peanut curry I made for dinner last night because I felt lazy about putting together all the necessary ingredients -- ginger, garlic, chili peppers, etc. I found a recipe online that suggested red curry paste, and I felt that this website successfully corroborated my desire to be lazy. The red curry paste I had in the fridge is made of essentially the ingredients I didn’t want to chop up: garlic, ginger, chili paste, and some galangal and lemongrass. So I dropped a couple of tablespoons of that into some coconut milk along with the peanut butter, and I ended up with this amazing thing.

Peanut Curry Recipe 

1tbsp red curry paste

1 can coconut milk

1 cup water

2-3 tablespoons crunchy peanut butter

1-2 tablespoons sugar

1-2 tsp salt (the red curry paste I use has no added salt or preservatives, so I use more salt than you might need to if you get store bought red curry paste)

Heat up the coconut milk and add the red curry paste and blend well. Slowly mix in the peanut butter until it blends into the coconut milk. Once the coconut milk is boiling, take it down to a simmer and add 1 cup of water. Let it get to a boil again, and add salt and sugar, to taste. Let the peanut curry go on a light boil for about ten to fifteen minutes.

I served this peanut curry with pan roasted broccoli, cauliflower, garlic, and onion with a side of soft boiled eggs and rice. It was delicious and no one at the table could get enough!

Happy eating! rr

[sofancynyc]

#TreatYoSelf - Healthy Edition

Now that we have you looking like a fancy fitness enthusiast, let's get your snacking habits in check so that you can actually stay healthy in every sense of the word. Take a look at the yummy treats we are loving right now. These are all "lite bites" that won't bog your body down when you are trying to start off energy-filled and stay healthy throughout the day. See below for your official "go-to" treats! 1) Honey Crisp Apples - While you will probably need to mortgage your home to purchase these from Whole Foods...they are SO GOOD! If you have a sweet tooth, the taste is quite helpful to curb your need for jelly beans and chocolate when you are trying to behave. Healthy tip - have one with breakfast and then eat another in the late afternoon to get those sugar cravings (kind of) satisfied. We know, it's not Godiva, but they are quite tasty! 2) Veggie Sticks/Straws - For all of you salty/crunchy snack lovers, this is a great little item to stash in your drawer at work. The serving size is rather large for the 120-130 calories you will be consuming. A much better choice than Cheez-its or Potato Chips, they also give you some servings of veggies if you are a little behind. 3) Skinnypop - I can probably eat my weight in Skinnypop if you let me just sit there after my evening run! Not only do I keep 2 large bags pretty much all the time, but I have managed to get quite a few friends and coworkers equally hooked to this lightly salted snack with so little calories. Please try this out rather than the microwave (ew!) variety...your body will thank you later! 4) Almond/Cashew Mix - I love good fats, because those two words don't get to happen together as much as we'd like them to. A great little treat is to mix almonds and cashews together, this is my new favorite for after a workout. Health tip: Mix an unsalted, raw version of one (most likely the almond) with a roasted, lightly salted version of the other.  Also, drink plenty of water (hopefully in the cute water bottle I made you purchase last week). 5) Dried Cherries - Those "healthy" Craisins that you are so in love with...so, they are infused with sugar! Switch those shady imposters out for actual dried fruit that has not been modified to have as much sugar as a can of soda please. Head to your health food store and get some cherries that are dried and have NOTHING added to them (besides a warning that they may have been in a factory with nuts). Enjoy! 6) Mint/Green Tea - I'm probably 1 of the 8 people in the world that cannot stand the taste of green tea, but drink it because I know it's good for me. In an effort to make sure to be cooperative with all things healthy, do a mix! I like mint tea (it's also good for digestion) so it covers that hint of dirt green tea flavor that I loathe. try it out and let me know how it goes! Have any other favorite healthy go-to snacks you want to share with the world? Please do let us know so that we can be healthy as we live #thatfancylife