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yetanotherreader · 4 years

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Useful—6(1)

Genre: College AU

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Y/N Y/L/N

Summary: The school's most popular boy wants to be friends with Y/N, out of the blue. It definitely doesn't have anything to do with her hot best friend, though.

Word Count (For the chapter): 6,367

Warnings (For the chapter): Fluff, Mentions of Depression, suicide attempts, murder, angst, panic attack, fluff, more fluff?

A/N: Well, hello there. First of all, THANK YOU. I mean it, thank you so much. You guys are so supportive, it makes me feel I don't deserve y'all. And since I made you wait extra long for this chapter, I wrote an extra long chapter. Does it make up for the delay?

Just got to know I can't make a post this long so I'm going to post this chapter in two parts. If you're patient enough, please do read. Thank you.

Useful Masterlist

Chapter 6(1)

Chapter 5

"Really now? That's where you bring me?" Dean said, as you rolled your eyes at his, pretty much, failed attempt at hiding the excited little girl he was being.

"Stop, huh. Stop acting like you don't enjoy this." A mischievous smile formed on his lips when you said it at god knew what he thought.

"But theme park rides? What are we? Babies?"

"Babies go on theme park rides?" You looked at him, amused by the stupidity that practically dropped off every word of that sentence, "Alright, grandpa, you can sit at a side while I go enjoy those rides alone. Come on, Dean!"

"Only because you insist." He said as he grabbed your hand and dragged you through the gates. You didn't even remember visiting a theme park, it's been that long you came to one. It was beautiful and you already were ready to jump into every ride you find. It was mesmerizing.

Painfully mesmerizing. Just a reminder of how you fucked up your childhood. But you were going to enjoy today. You had come here with your best friend, and nothing—no haunting past memories—was going to make you less happy about today.

"Here, sunshine," amidst your thoughts, you didn't even realize when Dean's hand slipped out of yours and he went. You shook your head to break the chain of thoughts.

Dean stood there, with a kid grin on his face, holding two candy floss in either of his hands. The sight was to behold, as something inside you did a somersault, and just like that all the dark memories faded away as you took the blue one from him.

"You're gonna leave me with the pink one?" He pouted, giving you one of his puppy dog eyes, which he claimed he learned from his little brother.

"Not working on me, Dean. Go tell Sam he wasn't a good teacher." You said, chuckling. And you couldn't have misheard it for the death of you, Dean giggled. Actually, giggled. Like a baby. It made your heart flutter inside your ribs and just like that, you let your eyes linger on his freckled face for longer than it was appropriate for a friend.

"Do you think we should go to that place first?" You followed Dean's gaze and shook your head seeing a small 'pie stall'.

"So typical of you, jade boy." You arched your eyebrows at him, "what d'ya say we go on some rides and tire ourselves a little before that?

He pouted, again, the cutest pout you've ever seen, as you laughed at the ridiculousness of his face, "that face does not suit you, Dean. Get back at being that tough guy."

He followed behind, as you made your way to the stall. He beamed,"As if you don't die to kiss it off my lips all the time."

"Watching too many chick flicks these days, huh, Winchester?" You responded, too quickly, without turning to look at him and let him see your flushed cheeks. Comments like these made you want to think if Dean sees you like someone more than just his best friend too, if he ever had thoughts of both of you together in more than the way you were. It wasn't something that happened all the time, but sometimes you liked to wonder. Dean was everything that a good guy could be, and much more than you deserved. You could never make that place in his heart. And definitely not with how you looked.

Sitting down on one of the small tables, you sighed. Licking the candy straw one last time, you tossed it in the dustbin that wasn't too far away from where you seated. Dean let out an amused laugh, "My kinda girl!"

You looked at him taking a seat in front of you on one the plastic chairs, with a scrunched up nose and a sheepish smile, "What even?" You laughed a little, "Your kinda girls lick it off the stick, now?"

Dean almost choked on his floss before smirking at you, "yeah, yeah they do."

It took you a moment before you realized what you just said and you hid your face in your hands, "Oh my god, Dean! Shit shit shit, I didn't mean it like that!"

By this time, Dean was doubling over laughter. He kept his forehead on his fists in order to hide his face as he kept laughing.

"Alright stop okay, it wasn't even that big a deal." You scoffed, embarrassed, trying to stifle your own laugh. Dean's smile was contagious, especially when he was like this—laughing his heart out with an almost red face while his eyes crinkled in those gorgeous crow feet which were starting to become your weakness, "Oh god, Dean, stop."

And just like that you both were laughing, unbothered by the people around giving you crazy looks. For the first time in a very very long time, you didn't care about how you looked while laughing. It just came naturally with him, easier,"Your face...you should have seen your face." He took a deep breath, regaining his ability to speak, "I'll go bring us the pie."

"I'm paying!" You yelled after him, as the smile faded away from your lips. You knew he didn't mean it like that, he never would but the voice in the back of your head was hell bent on convincing you otherwise. He just meant it in a funny way, like you would if you said something like this to someone, but for some reason you couldn't help but think there was something about your face that forced a laughter out of him. If he thought your face was funny or weird, or if he thought you were ugly but was just too nice to say it directly. Your heart felt heavy, and suddenly you wanted some air. Your self doubts were the worst thing. They never let you enjoy, worse they always ended up ruining your days. You subconsciously pulled out your phone and looked at your dark reflection, observing just how flawed your face was. Every little scar looked back at you, the little milia under your eyebrows or your not-so-cute nose. You hated looking at yourself, face or elsewhere, it felt like you were made of flaws. And if you couldn't love them yourself, why would someone else? You shook your head, it wasn't the time for this. Today, you came here to spend some time with your best friend. Hating yourself could wait for later.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Dean's soft voice shook you out of your trance.

"Uh-actually.. nothing. Where's the pie?"

"It's coming. What's up with you, really? One moment you're being all adorable and the next you're serious like this. Are you okay?"

Adorable. That's what he meant. He doesn't think you're ugly.

Or maybe he does?

You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to silence your thoughts, but in vain. They kept getting louder, telling you to just stand up and walk away from him.

You don't deserve a good friend like him, you'll ruin his life too.

You knew where this was heading, and if you didn't stop it now you're going to make a clown out of yourself in the middle of a fxckin' fair. You tried to take a deep breath, your shaky hands came up to your ears trying to stop the voice, but it felt like you didn't even know how to breathe.

"Hey, hey, hey," You heard a familiar voice at a distance, "Y/N!" You felt two warm, big hands on yours, and you opened your eyes to see concerned green orbs looking back, "You're okay, I'm here."

It took you a second or two to register what was happening, and it felt like a bucket of cold water thrown on you. You were here, in front of Dean who knelt in front of you, looking like a weakling. This wasn't supposed to happen, this was supposed to be his day. You pulled your hands away from underneath his to make a hold of his wrists and slowly remove his palms from your face, "I'm..I'm okay. Just fine."

Dean's brows furrowed in confusion at the hint of cold in your tone, followed by a subtle clench in his jaw. He stood up, took a step back and looked away, with a stoic expression, "Yeah. You're okay."

You breathed out his name, still a little shaky and out of breath. You knew you needed him, but something held you back. You were so used to dealing with everything by yourself, that having someone now just felt weird.

"It's fine, Y/N. But I'm here, okay? And I'm not going anywhere," his few words of reassurance meant a lot more to you than you cared to admit. He walked up to you and held your hands pulling you on your feet, "Need a hug?"

You bit your lip, not sure how to tell him that you did. Fiddling with your fingers, you looked up at him through your lashes to see him smile and mumble an 'idiot' as he engulfed you in his embrace. It was a full bear hug, and it was funny someone like Dean gave it to you. He was a huge softie for a tough guy he acted like.

"See it wasn't that hard," he said nuzzling your neck, and if you didn't know any better you would think this intimate gesture had a meaning.

"Shut up, dork," you giggled, feeling his stubbles tickle at your nape, "You're so touchy."

"Don't tell anyone though," He pulled away, looking at your grinning face with a soft smile, arms still around you, "So now, listen here. We are going to eat that delicious pie, I'm taking the bigger piece, till we gain a couple extra pounds and we are going to go have fun and we won't give your pretty little brain enough time to go south."

"Sounds about right!" You beamed.

The next hour was spent having the time of your life. The rides you'd never been on before, you did now, and if you were being honest to yourself, you had never had so much fun before. You wondered why you never had it when you were a kid. Dean was so good with the bumper cars, you just realized how interested he is in cars again. It was funny to see him trying to fit, though. It took awhile for him to adjust his large frame in that tiny car, whilst you laughed your ass off. He made sure to take revenge, though, and bumped his car in yours again and again. And then there was the mechanical bull. Your favourite. It was the first time you sat on one, and boi did you underestimate it. You, even, challenged Dean calling it 'easy peasy' and all he did was smirk at you. You should have understood it wasn't as easy as you thought it was. You barely lasted a few seconds before being thrown off, and this time it was Dean's turn to laugh. Dean lasted on it for almost a minute, yelling 'Yee Haw' making everyone laugh.

Two old ladies came up to you while you goofed around with your drinks, and you found out they were together. They almost fangirled over you both, telling you stories of how they sneaked out of their houses to go to carnivals and how much you kids reminded them of their youth. You almost choked on your coke while Dean seemed to enjoy it, "Right? Y/N and I have been together since high school. Her parents didn't allow her to date back then, and we sneaked away to meet. You won't believe it, our first kiss was scandalous. Right, sweetheart?"

You stared at him with a mouth agape, what the hell was he high on? You narrowed your eyes at him and he looked at you mischievously, as if challenging you to continue. Oh, this could be a game of two. You smiled at him, as you turned your head towards the couple looking at you both with starstruck eyes, "It was my first kiss. It's kind of funny. I made this one wait three months before I actually let him kiss me, and that was the kiss of a lifetime. Not because it was perfect, but because it wasn't. He was staying at his uncle's with his little brother, Sam that day. His Uncle just happened to be my neighbour. He sneaked out in the middle of the night, climbed up to my room. We were watching a movie, cuddling and it just kind of happened. He leaned in and pressed his lips to mine. Like I said, it was my first so I didn't know how to kiss him back. He thought I didn't want it, so he apologized. Kept saying sorry with that adorable face until I had to stop him." You looked up at him, again, with a smirk as he looked back intrigued, "with a kiss."

He arch his brow, clearly enjoying this as the shorter woman cooed. You wiggled your brows at him, and he took it as his cue to continue, "and that took my breath away. We made out on her bed, while her parents were just a room away. That was the hottest thing I had ever experienced, well until something else happened of course," He smirked again, looking at you as you bit your lip in anticipation of what's coming next. His eyes traveled down to your lips at your little action, "She's the hottest thing you'll ever see, not that you will, when she takes control. She looks innocent and all, but she's a wild kitten in bed. And then there are times when she completely surrenders, letting me have my way with her-"

"Too much information, babe!" You squeaked. Your eyes wide and cheeks flushed as you stared at his face, his expressions mischievous. He smirked, snaking his arms around your waist pulling you possessively to him. This was the closest you'd ever been to him, physically, and you were afraid he could feel your heart thumping in your ribs as your chests pressed with his.

He looked at you with a winning expression and whispered in your ears, "Lost so soon, wild kitten?" You could feel your ears heating up and you knew very well he saw it too. This wasn't how it was going to be, he wasn't going to know that he had that power on you, even though he did and let him tease you about it for the rest of your life. You were going to take the winning shot. You stood on your tiptoes, slowly pressing your lips to the side or his mouth, letting them linger for a second or two as you whispered a 'no' against his skin. You pulled away, looking back at his flushed face. You made Dean Winchester blush, you deserved a goddamn medal. After a moment the reality of the situation hit you. You just almost kissed your best friend. It was a game, and you hoped it didn't ruin things between you two. Your best friend mattered to you more than a silly crush you had on him.

"Oh my god, you two are so cute!" The shorter woman squealed, effectively pulling you out of your thoughts, pulling both of you out of them. You saw her looking at you with an awed face, while her taller wife scolded her a bit, "Sorry, I just get a little excited around young couples."

"It's okay, we didn't mind." Dean spoke politely, his hands still around your waist, "but I think we should get going. It's going to get dark in a couple more hours."

Walking out of the small hut, you didn't know how to form words. You couldn't believe you did that, you just hoped Dean let it past. It was so awkward, and you knew he could feel the tension too. Great, you just ended your most beautiful friendshi-

"So, uh-" Dean started, trying to cut through the tension, "First kiss, huh?"

"High school girlfriend, huh?"

"Well," he chuckled, "You won't deny it was fun. I mean, now that I think of it, we can make a pretty good couple."

You laughed, all the tension leaving your body at his fun tone, "You bet. A pretty good, scandalous couple, who make out in the room next to my parents."

He laughed, throwing his head back this time, "Wild kitten? How ridiculous."

"That part got me. What was going through your mind when you said that?"

"A lot of things. Fantasizing my best friend? Scandalous, enough?"

"Oh my god, Dean" you laughed, trying to hide your blush as Dean threw his arms around your shoulders, "Let's go there, I still want a ride."

"On me?"

"Shut up."

You stood in front of the giant ride, eyes beaming with excitement. You wanted to go on it as soon as you entered the park. Loop-o-plane. "Let's do it!"

"I-I am not going anywhere near that thing," You frowned and looked at your best friend only to have him look ahead with saucer-like eyes.

"Why?" You whined.

"What if that thing comes out?"

"What thing?"

"That thing that's keeping this thing in place."

You looked at him like he's grown horns, "No it won't."

"But what if it does?"

"Do you trust me?"

"With my life," his voice went soft, you turning to look at him, as his voice grew high again, "but I don't trust that thing. It's a machine, Y/N. You should never trust a machine. What if that belt breaks and we fall down and die? I hate hospitals!"

You grinned amused by his childishness, "We won't fall down, Dean, and you won't have to go to the hospital."

"Nah."

You sighed, "Alright, you can stay here and I'll go. Is that okay, now?"

His eyes grew wider, "Y/N Y/L/N, no. I know you ain't all that fond of your life but I'm not letting you get yourself killed."

"What-what even? I'm not going to get myself killed. Please, De? Please, please, please, please, pretty please?"

"Don't give me that look," you flashed him your most innocent pleading face as he glared at you, "Argh, if we die, we die together. I hate you so much."

"All the love back." You grinned, pulling him by his arms.

The next two minutes were the longest two minutes of your life. Dean screamed like a little girl, clinging to you until you couldn't feel your eyes and hand anymore. It was fun and it was torture. When you got off the ride, both of you were a little shaken, rather Dean was a lot.

"See! I told you it'll be fun." You said, cautiously, as Dean glared at you. He walked faster until he was ahead of you, "Aye grumpy soldier, come on!"

"I am never hanging out with you ever again. You little, you little-"

"Little what?" You ran up to him, and grinned, "Wild kitten?"

You could have sworn you saw his lips curl up a bit. He looked at you, narrowing his eyes, "You aren't my best friend. You're an enemy in disguise. Who sent you?"

"Lucifer!" You giggled.

"Or are you satan?"

"Hey!" You whined as he laughed circling his arms around your shoulders. You let out a little yawn, "I'm tired."

He smiled down at you, his face looking shades of pink from the setting sun. His freckles stood out darker than usual. He was a sight, so beautiful, "Let's take you home, sleepyhead."

By the time you were on the road, it was pretty dark. You sang loudly to the radio with Dean, all the tiredness leaving your body. It turned out to be the best day of your life. You, your best friend shutting the world out and living your best life.

"Dean, stop!"

"What? Why?"

"Pull over, pull over." Dean pulled over at the side of the road as you stepped out, Dean following suit, "Look at that."

Dean followed your gaze, his breath hitching at the beautiful scene in front of him. There were a couple of swans in the middle of the lake, bowing their heads in front of each other under the moonlit sky, "Wow.."

"They are mating," You whispered.

"Mating as in banging?" You couldn't help but chuckle lightly at Dean's genuine curiosity, "What?"

"No, not yet at least," You said, keeping your voice low, "They are surrendering themselves to each other. For a lifetime. The heart they're making, it's their courtship ritual. They flutter their wings, sing and dance and bow down to each other offering each other their lifetimes. They are said to be epitome of true love. Some of them even die of heartbreak if their mate dies before them."

Dean looked at the sight, awestruck. He never saw something like this before. He could all but whisper, "That is beautiful. You think such love exists between humans?"

"Like soulmates? I don't know. I never saw any. Most of the people I saw are either together because they have to, or just break each other's hearts. You?"

"Don't know. About what you said, my parents loved each other a lot. I don't know if I can love like that though."

"Maybe when the right girl comes?"

"When the right girl comes." He looked at you with a small smile and soft eyes. You, once again, read his features. He was the most beautiful man you'd ever seen, and it reminded you everyday why you would never be deserving of him. The moonlight danced on his face gracefully, and it almost took your breath away. He was gorgeous.

"You think we can go anywhere near them? Will they run away?

You shook your head lightly, pulling yourself out of your long shot of a dream, "No they won't run away, they will attack."

"Oops"

"But we can sit a little far away from them, see that bench?" You nodded to a bench near the lake, away from the swans, "Wanna sit for a while?"

He nodded, excitedly as you made your way to the bench with your hands held together, "Y/N," Dean whispered looking at you as you sat on the worn out wooden bench, "Thanks for today. It's the most fun I had in years."

"Me too." You smiled back at him.

There was a shift in the atmosphere, which you couldn't quite comprehend. It was different with Dean tonight, almost intimate. His hand never left yours as you sat by the side of the river and you didn't try to pull away either. It felt perfect. You took a leap of faith shifting closer to him, and dare you say if it were a fragment of your imagination, you saw a little smile on his face. His thumb caressed the back of your hand, and you knew whatever it was tonight would be an unspoken story by the morning. None of you will speak a word about it, but you wanted to cherish it right now. You put your head on his shoulder and he let out a sigh, returning the gesture and bringing your joined hands to his lap. You sat together in silence, seeing the mute swans at a distance singing out their love for each other.

"I'm sorry," you whispered after a while.

"For?" He whispered back, none of you wanted to break the trance you were in.

"For yesterday. I was a bitch, you didn't deserve that."

He sighed, "Sweetheart, don't beat yourself up for that."

"I don't understand why you put up with me. All I do is hurt you."

"You know what you do? You cheer me up when I'm down. You hug me outside a party house when you see that I'm struggling. You join me for movies on Friday nights and I absolutely love that. And you know what more? When you think you messed up, you come and make up for it. You don't just let it pass, or get away with it. You don't go back to being friends again acting like nothing happened, you own up to your mistakes and apologize. You make things right. Maybe we don't talk about ourselves a lot with each other, but the nights that are hard for me, I always think that I'm not alone. That there's a girl out there rooting for me, that I matter to someone and she will miss me if I am gone. You keep me going, Y/N and that is why I put up with you."

Chapter—6(2)

A/N: So yeah, the second chapter is coming right up. I hope it's not too much for one day. Also, feedback is greatly appreciated.

Btw, I LOVE YOU ALL.

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