#….compared to like 2013-2016

[maribird444]

i keep forgetting dnp used to be famous like super SUPER popular ……. at this moment it feels like they’re…. just for us . so niche now. idk how to explain it ;3;

[hasarjunadoneanythingwrong]

It always makes me giggle how in karna’s ccc battle one of his lines when he yeets his brahamastra is that it isn’t an imitation of arjuna like babe I promise you no one was even thinking of that until you brought it up yourself

[yonpote]

ok heres how i split up the dnp eras (loosely based on dan's timeline in his interview w anthony)

2009-2011: the Sillies era :3 dan refered to it as being a dumb teen just posting cuz he was bored, which is like, thats what all of youtube culture was at this time. they met and like fell in love or whatever you know the lore dont you. phil moved from his parents home to his first apartment in manchester, and dan technically moved to uni but really he moved into phil's apartment to take advantage of his washing machine and ps1 and. yknow. other stuff. they officially moved in together in 2011 yippee hooray, the phanchester apartment holds a special place in my heart

2012-2013: THE SHIFT. they started getting Serious about youtube as a career, doing more stuff w the radio, superamazingproject started in 2011 but THE SHIFT is very easy to observe when you compare the first season of sap to the last season. ALSO. they were NOT A DOUBLE ACT AND NOT GAY 🙄. it could also be called the No Homo era lmao idk this is when a lot of shitty things were happening wrt leaked information, harassment of their families, and just generally becoming more in the spotlight especially while still in the closet being a horrible experience. but also, they moved to london and got cool opportunities with radio stuff and were starting to actually make a living on this shit.

2014-2016: Peak Dan And Phil™ Era. at the height of their popularity. they realized oh shit, we ARE a double act and not only does everyone enjoy us best as a double act, WE enjoy working together. tabinof, tatinof, dapgo, still doing the radio every month up until they start touring, 7 second challenge app, gamingmas, what the hell DIDNT they do during this time period (what they didnt do was uhh take care of themselves and not overwork and not blur their work and personal lives so much to the point where they felt like the whole apartment was a film set.)

2017-2018: Gay Softlaunch Era (aka post-baking aka glass closet) the baby steps toward authenticity, moved to the double apartment to separate work and life, ii's whole theme, dan talking abt depression, phil getting the quiff, both of them being gay as hell in every way other than saying it explicitly. important things of note: TRUTH BOMBS dropped, Interactive Introverts happened, still uploading gaming vids and honestly by the end you could feel their fatigue. and then they hiatused dapg.

2019-2022: ok these four years each feel like whole eras in themselves, but also theres an overarching theme. THE GAY ERA.

2019: im gonna futher split this year in half. first half- dad left to buy milk so other dad is taking care of us. rough six months for dannies im sure. important phil thing of note- he changed his film set from his "bedroom" to a fairly basic but cute shelf backdrop. honestly prob didnt wanna keep pretending that was his bedroom considering.... second half- DAN AND PHIL GAY. dan uploads his magnum opus. phil comes out via tweet. they go to japan and its really gay and it's The Trip to japan for them like yes they first went in 2015 and again in 2023, but Japhan 2.0 Was The One. what does this mean? proposal? anniversary? idk exactly but it was gay as hell dude and theyve talked about that trip with such love in their hearts.

2020: Phandemic (sorry that was bad) but also where tf is dan again? even with the big C-word happening, it was business as usual for phil, regular vids but make em gayer, caught a pigeon nbd, and end of the year introduces the Stereo app show Phil and Phriends where he's had chats with pj, louise, his brother, seth everman?????, and finally. dan reappears. they reveal that they bought and FULLY PLANNED a house together and are ready to move!

2021: they don't move house for another like six months! basically their house was (and is??) still being worked on AND they were in lockdown AND turns out at the end of last year, they were kicked from their Life apartment and were now living in the Work apartment so you can imagine what all of this can do to their psyche and lowkey they were getting sick of each other like it wasnt just bordering on phivorce it was nearly Phurder. Phidow. but to fill the time so that DOESNT happen, my favorite fucking thing ever happens: Lockdown Lads (and all the other names). the first taste of what a dnp podcast would sound like, with the added bonus of chaotic listener interaction. oh yeah also dan wrote a mental health guide book whatever (IM KIDDING I REALLY LIKE YWGTTN I WROTE LIKE TWO REVIEWS ON IT NOW) and they finally become Homosexual Homeowners. theres quite a bit more dnp content this year, dan being on phils channel a bit more, the phodcasts, dan's gay and not proud special.... oh yeah and hometown showdown i guess AND TEXT VIDEO 2!!! my favorite and my namesake!!!!!!!

2022: Prophecy Year..... but they didnt get married. dan returns with another longass video to say: hey i hate being a youtuber and also youtube majorly fucked me over. but also fuck that im gonna do a weird talk show and ALSO GO ON TOUR WITH THIS APOCALYPSE THEME! phil actually... slows down this year. more dan uploads than phil somehow??? but also Dan Is Leaving me is posted and i go completely insane and become the deranged individual you see today. WHICH FINALLY LEADS US TOOOOOO

2023-present: The Unhinged Era. dan's tour was a huge Emotional success for him but uh not without its hiccups due to management and all that and i think he and phil finally realize. Fuck It Who Cares. dan flies back to england FROM AUSTRALIA to make sure he can be with his future ex-husband on his birthday. CAKE HEART EMOJI. YELLOW PLAID SHACKET. they go on a gamer date and post a picture of playing footsies in a cab. THE PHUDE HAPPENS. they go to japan again and while this one will never be The One it was still a well earned holiday this time with bryony! and they took a bunch of very cute film camera pictures.... THIS IS ALL JUST THE FIRST HALF OF 2023 BTW. in phil news, he talks about going to therapy and figuring out how to manage his anxiety!!!! he changes his hair again!! he hires an editor, phan is his otp, he teases about the gaming channel a couple of times but so many of us already dropped any hope of that returning- OH WAIT WHAT THE FUCK?!!!? HUH!??!? they returned, and more chaotic than ever before. the gayness upped to the max, the Weirdness on full speed, the Horniness at Very Scary Levels Oh God Stop Talking About Dogging, phil can swear uncensored now???? and this energy has continued into today...

[ipso-faculty]

Infinity symbols: a guide to their variations

Infinity symbols are popular in graphic design for good reason. In this post, I'm gonna describe ways to vary up the designs of infinity symbols. My goal is to educate fellow neurodivergent people on how to make infinity symbols that don't look like the Métis flag.

The neurodiversity community has been using rainbow infinity symbols since 2005. Here are neurodiversity flags from 2013, 2016, and 2019:

However, there's a problem with some of the new flag designs for a flag that is autism-specific. Here are some of the contenders:

These use a solid white infinity symbol. The solid white infinity curve is a symbol of Métis.

The Métis flag, created in 1815, has a white lemniscate on red background. Nowadays the Métis use the blue version more often. And to the right is the Métis queer pride flag:

For those unfamiliar, the Métis are one of the major Indigenous groups in what is now Canada, with most of their >600,000 population in the western and central parts of the country. The word métis means half-breed in French; lower-case m métis refers to those with mixed Indigenous and European ancestry. Capital-M Métis refers to the specific culture of métis that emerged, distinct from both Indigenous and settler cultures, and speaking hybrid languages such as Michif.

The issue of likeness has been brought up many times. While I can believe the autistic flag makers didn't know about the issue when making their designs, I know at least one of them was promptly informed of the issue and dismissed it.

The autistic community writ large has been pretty dismissive about this issue. I wonder if some of the defensiveness comes from not seeing an alternative - thinking that infinity symbol design is all or nothing.

I have some good news: it's possible to make infinity symbols that don't look Métis!

HOW INFINITY SYMBOLS VARY (PART ONE)

ASPECT A: TOPOLOGY

The first way we can categorize infinity symbols is their topology. These four varieties are most common

Topology 1: Open infinity symbol - this is the oldest style of using a figure-8 shape to represent the mathematical concept of infinity. On the left is the version Euler used.

-

Topology 2: Lemniscate - a closed curve. On the left is the Metis flag. The curve is one solid entity: notice how the rainbow gradient on the right fills the whole thing.

-

Topology 3: Infinity *loop* -  imagine you take a hair tie or rubber band and twist it. One part of the infinity loop is clearly in front, with another part clearly behind it. Loops are well established for neurodiversity and I think we should stick to using these.

Notice in the left example how the pattern flips between left and right. Also compare the rainbow gradient on the right to the lemniscate rainbow gradient above it. -

Topology 4: Infinity *ribbon* -  instead of a hair tie, use a ribbon. Ribbons have sides, producing an infinity loop that shows two sides.

-

ASPECT B: THICKNESS

Line width can vary, which also helps to convey a loop! Again, I think we should be sticking to infinity loops when it comes to autistic/ND designs.

Option 1: Constant Thickness The lemniscate on the Metis flag has a constant line width, as does this neurodiversity rainbow gradient from 2016. I think we should avoid constant thickness.

-

Option 2: Variable Thickness A variable thickness can help to reinforce that an infinity symbol is a loop rather than a solid lemniscate. There are a lot of ways to play with line thickness!

Many neurodiversity infinities are variable thickness and I think we should opt for this to steer clear of Metis territory.

THIS WILL BE CONTINUED IN A SECOND POST (tumblr has a limit of 30 images per post)

But just in case the second post gets lost in reblogs: I think variable thickness, combined with a loop topology, is what we should be using for neurodiversity & autism. E.g.

CONTINUED IN NEXT POST

[croquis-el]

Naruhodō doesn't find being a lawyer difficult

I've been thinking about writing about this for a long time, but I doubted that I would find confirmation of this in the Japanese version

I had no reason to doubt it, and now I’ll tell you in more detail why I came to this conclusion.

Even at the very beginning of the game, we are told how Chihiro (Mia) characterizes Naruhodō. And although she jokes about the fact that with his experience the defendants will face a guilty verdict, she still throws out one short phrase that shows Naruhodō’s true abilities

…彼は天才よ

… kare wa tensai yo”

...He's a genius"

天才(てんさい) [tensai] - genius; prodigy; natural gift

まさに 《恐怖のツッコミ男》 と いったところかしら

masani “kyōfu no tsukkomi otoko” to itta tokoro kashira

He is able to "strike fear into the hearts of his opponents."

Chihiro literally says: He's talented.

And this is not surprising, because Hodō began studying law and preparing for the exam in 2012-2013. How this is confirmed: Hodo himself says that he made this decision after reading an article about Mitsurugi in the newspaper (he also became a prosecutor at the age of 20 - his first trial was on September 10, 2012). Plus Case 3-1, where it turns out that he meets a lady in the courthouse library in August 2013 (the day the lawyer was poisoned in the cafeteria) and talks about his determination to help his friend.

And already on August 3, 2016 he stands behind the defense counter. Considering that in Japan, judicial practice is mandatory for all lawyers for 1-1.5 years, this skill machine was able to achieve enormous results in just 2-3 years.

どうすれば証明できるの! あの人が、灰根さんだ、って……。

dōsureba shōmei dekiru no! Ano hito ga, Hai ne-sanda, tte…….

How can you prove that that person is Haine-san...

だいじょうぶだよ。カンタンな方法がある。

daijōbuda yo. Kantan'na hōhō ga aru.

Don't worry. There's a simple way to do this.

Repeatedly during court hearings, he says the phrases: “It’s easy to prove,” “The answer lies on the surface,” “I know that I’m right and I’ll prove it.” Hodo has very well developed logical thinking, which he skillfully operates with (which, by the way, Mitsurugi was impressed with - show him the evidence in 1-4 in the detention center after the first day of the trial and see for yourself)

(ファイルを調べるのが メンドウなだけじゃないか････)

(fairu o shiraberu no ga mendōna dake janai ka)

(It's not that difficult - just study the files).

Even a brief comment about working with documents shows us his attitude towards work.

___________________________________________

And then - the cherry on the cake. Dialogue with Odoroki in 4-1.

一晩中、最悪のカードを配られても 勝てる、ただひとつのゲーム････

hitobanjū, saiaku no kādo o kubara rete mo kateru, tada hitotsu no gēmu

The only game you can win even if you're dealt the worst cards all night...

････それがポーカーだ。

sore ga pōkā da.

... that's poker.

ポーカーの本質は、 心理を “読み合う ”ところにある。

pōkā no honshitsu wa, shinri o “yomi au” tokoro ni aru.

The essence of poker is to "read each other's minds."

･･･そうだな。ある種、 法廷戦術に通じるものがあるね。

sōda na. Aru tane, hōtei senjutsu ni tsūjiru mono ga aru ne.

That's right. It's kind of similar to courtroom tactics.

ポーカーが････法廷戦術!

pōkā ga hōtei senjutsu!

Poker like...courtroom tactics!

相手が何を考えているかを、知る。それができれば、勝つ。

aite ga nani o kangaete iru ka o, shiru. Sore ga dekireba, katsu.

Know what your opponent is thinking. If you can do that, you'll win.

そりゃそうですけど。

そんなコト、できるハズが････

sorya-sōdesukedo. Son'na Koto, dekiru hazu ga

That's true. I mean, it's not like I can do that...

できるんだよ。

dekiru nda yo.

You can do that.

人間の思考・感情というものは ････かならず。ningen no shikō kanjō to iu mono wa kanarazu.

Human thoughts and emotions are... always...

身体から“情報”として 発信されている。

karada kara “jōhō” to shite hasshin sa rete iru.

...sent out as "information" from the body.

Naruhodō literally compares court hearings to a game of poker and gives advice to carefully listen to the words of witnesses and opponents and try to predict their next action. And this comparison is very much in the spirit of Hodō: bad cards = bad evidence (which must be used correctly); opponents trying to deceive = witnesses who give false testimony; a dealer who was bribed = a prosecutor who pulls the judge to his side. It may seem like he's only setting up Odoroki to use his ability (to find people's nervous habits), but he puts a share of his three years of experience in court and seven years of experience at the poker table (whatever, he acted the same there) into it. It is impossible to compare something that you have not experienced.

Yes, Naruhodo is nervous, worried, and faces difficulties in court and beyond, but for him this is not something that can disturb his inner harmony. He knows his worth and always does what he is capable of (and sometimes demands the impossible from himself).

[carlos-in-glasses]

Where All This Love Comes From

I'm so excited to share what has been known as Flashback Fic! 107k words, with all 14 chapters here on Ao3, rated E.

Six months after Gabriel Reyes’ death, TK grows concerned about Carlos’ drinking and brings him to a meeting at the Y. Afterwards, over omelets at the diner, the husbands open up to each other. TK reflects on meeting Carlos after years of addiction and self-destruction, while Carlos has continued to seek closure by uncovering two unknowns: The identity of his father’s killer, and how his father truly felt about Carlos as his son.

************************************************

Carlos puts his arms around him from behind and holds him still, kissing his neck. TK tries to twist in Carlos’ grip, but he won’t let him. He starts walking him towards the bedroom. “I’m desperate for you,” TK says, his blood hot, cheeks red, eyes pricking with tears. “I know.” “Make me forget everything.” “I will.” “I only want to think about you.” “You will.” Carlos stops for a breath. He smells TK – his clean hair, his evanesced cologne, his natural man scent, his salty tears that have imbued his skin, the sweat of stress. Sad, but still beautiful to Carlos. TK, delicious. “I never thought I’d have you. I never thought–” he can’t speak anymore.

***********************************************

Chapter 1: A Trail to Follow

In 2023, TK discovers something that triggers memories of heroin withdrawal seven years before – and Carlos makes amends with Gutiérrez after accusing him of his father’s murder.

Chapter 2: A Very Nice Sweater for the 'Y'

TK takes Carlos to the N.A. meeting – but when things don’t go as hoped, he instigates another method to get Carlos talking.  

Chapter 3: Snowballing

A messy situation in 2010 causes TK as a high school junior to lash out. In 2023, Carlos realizes it's time to tell TK about one more secret. 

Chapter 4: Original Sin

In 2013, Carlos accidentally destroys Gabriel’s oldest friendship. Nine years later, he attempts to make peace after he and TK get engaged.

Chapter 5: Between Two Bridges

In 2022, a grieving and struggling TK is compelled to talk to Owen about his 2020 overdose, which leads him to remember when his addiction nearly killed him years before. In 2023, TK asks Carlos about his history with alcohol. (Note: Chapter features TK using and gets fairly graphic)

Chapter 6: One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, Floor

TK and Carlos compare notes on when they first came out – with Carlos spiraling in 2011 after an unexpected outburst, while TK in 2008 is embraced (and embarrassed) by his parents. In 2021, both handle the raw days of their breakup differently too.

Chapter 7: A Boy's Best Friend

In 2009, Gabriel attempts to connect with his increasingly distant and unhappy teenage son. In 2013, the fallout of Carlos leaving Iris has begun, and he knows his relationship with his parents will never be the same. In 2023, TK tries to talk to Gabriel about the bombshell revelation that Carlos doesn’t want kids.

Chapter 8: Your Heart, As If It Was My Very Own

In 2011, TK is left bewildered after he loses his virginity. Years later, with Carlos, TK's mind (among other things) is blown in a whole new way. In 2022, TK has an important conversation with a certain visitor when he wakes from his coma.

Chapter 9: Coffee with Gutiérrez

In September 2023, Carlos seeks an important but painful truth from Gutiérrez, and finds an unexpected ally within the 126. Two months later in Blue Moon Diner, TK gets ready to tell Carlos more about his past in New York.

Chapter 10: The Day Begins Like Any Other

In 2016, after TK experiences an assault and sees an old friend again under devastating circumstances, he makes a life-altering decision when his dealer suggests he try something new. In 2009, TK is attacked at school. (Note: Please heed the tags and the chapter note. Reader discretion advised. Look after your hearts).

Chapter 11: Lonely as a Sparrow in the Rain

When Carlos confesses to TK about where he went with Judd back in September – and why – TK has to tell Carlos something he won't want to hear. In 2014, a rift develops when Carlos shows off his new Camaro to his parents.

Chapter 12: Happy For You, Son

Before moving to Austin, TK falls out with his parents over his relationship with Alex. In December 2020, it's a different story as Carlos hosts Owen and Gwyn for TK's birthday meal. In 2012, Carlos has some unexpected news for his own parents, but Michelle tries to intervene. When TK and Carlos get engaged a decade later, Gabriel has something to say about it.

Chapter 13: The Risk of Love

In May 2023, Owen and TK save a spiraling Carlos from making the biggest mistake of his life when he thinks he’s found his father’s killer. In 2020, TK and Carlos become boyfriends beneath a sky full of aurora borealis.

Chapter 14: A Night Worth Celebrating

On a rainy night in 2020, TK and Carlos meet for the first time. In 2023, weeks after their big talk at Blue Moon, TK celebrates his thirtieth birthday with his husband, their family and their friends by his side – and Carlos is a little bit better at sharing his secrets.

Read on A03

[toastedkiwi]

Bastard Child Outline

Pairing: Chris Evans x Bastard Child/Daughter!Reader

A/n: this shit has been sitting in my drafts for like three years and a year in my queue so it wouldn’t get lost in my drafts. I’ve decided I’ll just post it because I honestly don’t know if I’ll ever actually write the parts. So this is for those who were holding out hope. I’m sorry to disappoint. (Also, some bits and parts might be triggering for those who’ve dealt with abuse and self harm.) it’s long too. Not at all perfect either.

Born 1999 in Hawaii.

Mom, Emily Reed, had you when she was 15 and Chris was 16. She’s a decent person and obviously got married to surgeon. They had kids. Stepdad, Dr. Issac Reed, is a decent guy but works a lot. You’d never be his kid however. He made sure you were alright but he never had the connection with you as much as that sucked. It happens.

Your grandpa was stationed in Boston when your mom and dad got together. They had a huge fight and another girl was caught with her lips on his right before she moved with her family to Hawaii.

At 11, you start a YouTube channel under the name xXBOSLEYXx (named after your grandpa’s dog) and start posting covers since you love music. (2010)

At 12, you audition for a role in Hawaii Five-O. You get it and end up being a kidnapped kid that they have to find. It leads more people to your YouTube channel. (2011)

At 13, you go to LA by yourself since your mom had just given birth. Your aunt who’s a publicist gets you signed to a record deal along with a manager by the name of Marie Trevor. It’s decided that you’ll be known as BOSLEY. (2012)

You end up moving to LA. You record some singles which is received amazingly. You easily rise to the ranks especially with the help of some modeling gigs and acting gigs.

At 14, your mom doesn’t approve anymore as you’re gaining fame and your dad is getting bigger than ever. You get into a huge argument. She pretty much drops you as her child and your aunt is responsible of you. You drop an album. (2013)

At 15, You stop smiling for pictures which becomes signature of BOSLEY. You’re offered a small role in The Bronze getting to tell Lance Tucker to fuck off in a moving car. You happily take it and managed to befriend the actor. (2014)

At 16, You’re fully doing music and touring. School is pretty much dropped. You find that your boyfriend knocked you up. You want your mom but she won’t pick up. You end up having a miscarriage while on touring. You’re given a day to grieve and the next you have to continue on. You also perform at Kylie Jenner’s birthday party. You end up becoming good friends with the Jenner sisters which gets you more fame. You got another role playing Peter Parker’s neighbor and his second best friend. (2015)

At 17, you perform on SNL with Scarlett Johansson as the host. You release another album which kicks off another tour after you finish filming Spiderman: Homecoming. Tom Holland actually invites you to the Civil War premier and you join him. Sebastian hugs you tightly when he sees you. You don’t meet your dad. (2016)

At 18, rumors spark that you’ll be taking over the mantel as Captain America as filming for Infinity War starts. You start getting compared to Chris Evans as if it’s a fair comparison. There’s also rumors that you two might be related. You also start dating this actor, Max Wess. You attend the Spiderman premier with him. (2017)

At 19, your birth certificate is leaked.

Chris freaks out over the news. He knows your mom. He remembers her and the last night they shared together before she left without another word.

Your boyfriend ends up beating the shit out of you which one of your friends finds you barely alive and calls you an ambulance. This happens in your LA home. It’s a huge story.

Chris gets in contact with your aunt Jamie Y/l/n and she happily helps him sneak into the hospital without paparazzi catching him. He ends up sitting in the chair close to your bedside waiting for you to wake up if you ever will. He expects Emily to come. She doesn’t.

You wake up in a panic and Chris’ face is what you first see. He’s the one to tell that you’re okay and you’re safe. You learn that your jaw is wired shut. Your ribs are broken. You’re missing a kidney. You had a lot of internal bleeding. Your right hand is busted and took many screws and rods to fix. You’re definitely worried about your career especially when you found out that they had to slit your throat and put a tube in it. Your dad luckily distracts you and is sure to not bring up your mother since he’s been warned by Jamie.

“I’m really wondering how you got BOSLEY from Y/n,” Chris said.

You tapped on the keyboard of his iPad using your left index finger as he holds it for you. Chris can’t help but chuckle.

“He really named all his dogs Bosley?”

You nod and your grandpa said, “it’s a strong name.”

You turned head seeing the old man and Chris hasn’t seen him in two decades. You haven’t seen him in a good 3 years. Your grandmother heads to you easily freaking out over how you look but Chris knows you looked a lot worse. He wants to so badly ask why they didn’t tell him about you. They surely should’ve known. But he doesn’t for your sake.

“You don’t have to stay, Christopher,” your grandpa said.

Chris moves to stand up but you grasp his hand. You give the nastiest glare to your grandfather.

“Is she even gonna come?” You hissed through the wires. You aren’t supposed to try and use your voice.

“Honey,” your grandmother said. “She’s gotta look after the kids.”

You rolled your eyes and Chris could see the tears start to form. Your heart is beating faster on the monitor. He’s just as mad as you. Are you really not that important to her? If you aren’t, why didn’t she just give him you? He without would’ve taken you in and loved like a parent should.

You wave off the hands and swat them away. Tears streamed down your cheeks. You yanked out the leads as the monitor started to beep louder. It ends up showing that you’ve flatlined. You try kicking off the blankets.

“Hey, Bubba,” Chris said but you aren’t listening.

He ends up wrapping his arms around you. He takes the hits you give him. It’s heartbreaking to watch especially when you give up and cry as he held you. Nurses and doctors rushed in.

“She’s okay,” your grandpa informed as Chris comforts you as a parent should.

Once you fall back asleep with the help of some sedatives, your dad pulls your grandparents outside of your room.

“Where the fuck is Emily? Why isn’t she here? It’s clear Y/n wants her,” Chris said.

“Let’s go somewhere more private,” Lucille suggested.

Chris ends up taking them to his place after running into Tom Holland and Zendaya who are obviously there to visit you. He informs them that you’re asleep but it’d be fine for them to stop by and have them watch over you.

“They got into a huge fight over Y/n becoming BOSLEY,” your grandma said before her husband could speak. “Emily couldn’t handle it. She still holds a lot against you and she didn’t want you meeting her.”

“Really?” Chris asked.

“Yeah,” your grandpa said. “Emily practically disowned her. Probably should’ve called you.”

“No fucking shit. When was the last time they talked?” Chris asked.

“3 years ago,” Lucille said.

“It’s been five since they’ve seen each other. That’s when they had their big fight,” John said.

It’s late at night when you get released from the hospital. Your dad drives you to your house. You end up getting panicky and not wanting to go in. He takes you to his place and has his assistant go tomorrow to pack some bags for you. It’s a rough night so he stays up with you watching movies together until you fall asleep.

Chris takes you to Boston the next morning on a private jet. He sets up some appointments for you with doctors in Boston to make sure you’re recovering just fine. You meet Dodger and the two of you become best friends. It’s a lot of watching movies with your dad until you ultimately crash against him due to the meds. You also can’t seem to sleep alone in the guest room due to having terrible nightmares. With the first couple, Chris didn’t want to overstep and climb into the bed to hold you and try to make it go away. But it was clear that Dodger wasn’t cutting it. Just a couple nights a week, the three of you will be together in the same bed. Chris jokingly got you one of those starry night projectors but you both love it.

“What are you doing here?” You hear you’re dad hiss.

“It’s called dropping by unannounced to annoy you and to rescue your child from you,” Scott sassed.

“You are not taking my child anywhere, Scott,” Chris said.

“You make it sound like I wouldn’t bring her back,” Scott said.

Scott ends up taking you both out of the house. You have to listen to them both sing along with the radio. You end up capturing the two brothers on your phone. You agree going over to your grandparents house and meeting them even though you’re still recovering. It distracts you for awhile.

You get some news you don’t want to hear about your hand. It’s not healing as the doctors would like. They don’t know if you’ll be able to play guitar or piano (which will be one handed) like you had before. You end up having the surgery. Sebastian Stan surprises you when you wake up.

“Fuck off,” is what Sebastian says to you. You a small smile.

“Why’d ya say that?” Chris asked.

“It’s what your child first said to me when we met,” Sebastian said.

You hummed loudly to a song in your head making them laugh.

“She acts exactly like you when you’re drunk,” Sebastian teased.

As much as Chris wants to stay with you during your recovery, he does have to film but thankfully it’s in Boston. It’ll be like he has a regular job. However, there’s not much for you to do or you can do. You can’t sing or write. You end up getting stuck in your thoughts which isn’t a great place to be in for a long period of time.

Scott and Chris can clearly tell you’re absolutely miserable. Nobody knows how to help you out and get you out of it. Your dad ends up calling whoever he can. He calls Sebastian, Tom Holland, your manager, Scarlett, his mother.

Scarlett asks him, “what does she do for a living?”

“She’s a popstar,” Chris said.

“There’s your answer.”

He ends up getting a grand piano and putting it in the living room where the dining room table is. The table ends up in the garage with the chairs. It takes Chris playing a song poorly on it for you to come over and smack his left hand off the keys. It makes him smile as you play the song with your left hand and he plays with his right.

“Sit down next to me,” Chris said.

You sit next to him on the bench. He puts his left arm around your shoulders pulling you closer.

“Play me something,” he requested.

You give him a look that he’s been known to give people. He smiles. You let out a sigh- it’s more like a slight hiss. You play him a song. It turns into two and then into more.

You and your dad fly to LA as he’s got meetings and your ex has finally been arrested for what he did to you. You definitely built some walls up and retract from your dad as much as that sucks. Chris just knows he’s gotta be patient because he can’t force you to open up to him or you’ll probably push him so far away to the point of no return. Besides it’s only been 7 weeks since you first met each other.

“Hey, Y/n. I’m gonna watch The Muppets, you should join me,” Chris said after knocking on the bathroom door. “I’ll be in the living room.”

You stared at the door and listened to him walk away. You look back at the OxyContin in your hand. The pill bottle has your name on it. It was prescribed and filled once you were released from the hospital. There’s five pills left. You unscrew the top with some difficultly. You dump the little pills in the toilet and flush them. You drop the pill bottle in the trash and turned on the faucet. You let your left hand go under the water and you see the faint lines on your wrist. You’d let a blade run over them again but The Muppets will have to do.

“You’re just in time,” Chris smiled seeing that you took him up on his offer.

You sit right next to him. You both end up sharing a blanket as he noticed you getting cold.

You get your wires out in LA making it much easier to hold a conversation with people. You also get spotted out with your dad to dinner to celebrate that you can finally eat soft foods which blows up everywhere. You easily get backlash and told that you’re using him as a publicity stunt. Both his team and your own team finally meet on how to deal with the situation.

You finally speak up in the meeting. “I’m not doing fucking GMA or Ellen to talk about my sad little life and how it’s all good now ‘cause Captain America’s my dad. Are you insane? Have you not seen the shit I get from everyone? How everyone believes that everything that has happened— my boyfriend beating shit out of me because I told him to ‘fuck off’ to a leaked birth certificate revealing that fucking Chris Evans is my dad is just for publicity. It will not go over well especially with that fucking asshole out on bail talking shit because he can.”

You leave after snapping at everyone. Chris tries to talk to you but you snap at him telling him that he doesn’t know you and he’s not your dad. It definitely hurts to hear.

You don’t go back to his place which has him worried. He checks your home. You aren’t there.

You end up going to Hawaii to see your mom. It leads to a huge blow out. You’re screaming at her and she’s screaming at you. You’re told that she never wanted you and you were a mistake that she was saving Chris from. It truly destroys you.

Chris doesn’t see you again until he gets a call from your assistant in the middle of the night after she found you unconscious in the pool of your own blood. He of course comes even if you don’t want him there. He’ll sit at your bedside or the waiting room. He has to know that you’ll be okay.

“I’m gonna state this once and for all,” Chris said to you. “You’re stuck with me and I’m sorry that I’m your dad. I don’t know how to be one but I’ll figure it out.”

You cried which makes him climb into the hospital bed. He holds you tightly as you cry. He can tell you’ve gone through so much and you haven’t really had anyone. They’ve always left.

Chris takes you back to Boston once you get your cast off and sadly you’ll need another surgery but it thankfully can wait a bit. You start seeing a therapist that he helped find. You don’t talk about what was said in the room but he can you’re coming out of shell a bit.

You and Chris are seen again going to a courtroom in LA with Scott coming along. You even have some friends come in support. There’s tons of paparazzi and gossip sites covering it. It’s not a very fun experience especially with you having to take the stand and Chris learning some very heartbreaking things that you went through. Your ex tries to spew more lies about you and drag your dad into it. It’s thankfully over after three days and your ex is found guilty.

A celebratory dinner takes place at your favorite restaurant in LA. Chris gets to see you let loose a bit and smile more. He knows as BOSLEY that you don’t smile especially not in pictures. It’s your whole image that has been created and with everything that has happened, it hasn’t been a happy experience.

“Get next to her,” Chris is told.

You both grin widely with cheeks pressed together for one of your friends to take a picture. It gets posted on your dad’s twitter with a caption “there’s no denying it, I have a mini-me.” You retweet it.

[rimouskis]

could you explain more about what you view as the before era and what you view as the after? i need to learn my herstory

I think this requires a more detailed and educated/researched answer than I can give after an exhausting workday and an after-hours work event, but I'm going to do my best and also open up the floor in reblogs for people to chip in their thoughts

foremost: a DISCLAIMER that this post does not aim to shit on writers from the "before" era. there are many classic fics that I love and enjoy, even if I consider their characterizations to be "less accurate"* than the ones we have in the after era.

*aside to say: accuracy is based only off of literal media accounts we have of these men; we do not know them, we should not claim to know them, and they have had different comfort levels with the media knowing selective truths about their lives [sid out of choice, geno out of media xenophobia] than they did when these early fics were being written.

"before" fics (which I tend to refer to as "classic" fics, and had their heyday in 2012-2013 but continued up until 2016ish) tended to have more regimented roles for sid and geno. sid was usually the protagonist; geno was the love interest.

this came with a cascading set of characteristics assigned to each guy. sid was poor-little-meow-meow'd. geno was the pursuer in the relationship. sid usually bottomed. sid had the whole spacetoaster moment (he was the inspiration for the term, haha). there wasn't much a/b/o fic but sid was, like, the omega-fied one and geno was alpha-ized.

something I've been thinking about more recently is how 2012-2013 era sidgeno displayed signs of Migratory Slash Fandom. I don't think of MSF as an inherently negative/condemning thing, but I think it's a phenomenon that deserves to be mentioned/analyzed, yeah?

MSF thrives on big character differences.... like, grumpy/sunshine, sarcastic/broody, genius/empath. it's all about emphasizing disparate archetypes to create natural tension in a story. this works really well in most romance novels! I love it!

the issues arise when people try to make characters fit into these preset dynamics. and, frankly, when sidgeno first got big, we straight-up didn't know as much about sid and geno. I mean that. despite sid being EXTENSIVELY covered by media from age, like, 14, he was really tight-lipped compared to what we have now.

and geno was.... there. I don't mean that as a diss—he was INCREDIBLE, but the media totally passed him over again and again. or they helped contribute to stereotypes of him being a dumb oaf who didn't know english.

aside: ironically I think that helped in creating sidgeno and not, like.... sidflower or sidtanger. geno was so "DIFFERENT" from sid (aka: russian, characterized by media as not knowing how to speak [in comparison to sid's highly curated media soundbites]) that it meant he was the best candidate for A Ship with sid.

a lot of the really big writers who got into sidgeno were fandom veterans with lots of experience in other big fandoms. to me, that means MSF had a hand in all this. and we should be grateful, because it led to the BOOM of hockey fic, and of sidgeno fic specifically. modern hrpf wouldn't exist without it.

that being said, those template ship dynamics, plus the media's attitude then towards sid and geno in its coverage, led to those characterizations of whiny soft sensitive boy sid who needed to be rescued even though he was the best hockey player EVER, and geno as the lumbering tall strong alpha not-that-bright Love Interest Man.

this isn't to say every fic was this way, or that this is BAD. I, uh, love poor-little-meow-meow-ing sid and omegafying the hell out of him. what I'm saying is that it was a near-ubiquitous characterization across the board.

that all changed in 2016-2018. I personally wholly credit sevenfists, though I imagine it's more nuanced than that, but: my blog, I make the rules here. I don't know if sevenfists was psychic or just highly observant and absolutely excellent at reading people (and that's basically the same thing, right?), but characterization shifts began taking place in fic....

and the coolest thing happened, in that those characterizations were seemingly reinforced by more media coverage. the back to back cups brought with them TONS of interviews with and media about the team, and sid and geno in particular. the coolest part of it was that sid had loosened up a LOT and geno had gotten more comfortable (and had gotten a reporter firmly on his side).

the interviews about sid post 2016 were just SO different. so much information started coming out, and a LOT of it conflicted with Ye Olde Characterizations. as it turned out, sid was deeply one of the boys. he was funny. everyone liked him. he loved hosting. he was insanely comfortable around almost everyone, including strangers, because he's a little freak who's kind to everyone. he can make smalltalk like no one's business. he's kind of gross. he likes to giggle and be in on jokes and get into the thick of it. he isn't some blushing virgin bride sold off of mario's doorstep, yeah?

and geno, too, was finally getting the coverage he deserved. and his personality was both fortified by age and better shown to us through media. as it turns out, he isn't some happy go lucky oaf. he's mercurial and intensely aware of what others think of him (and he CARES). he's sensitive and thoughtful but also can lash out at random times. he has a wicked sense of humor that he uses as a defense mechanism and as a surefire way to get people to like him, which matters to him. and, as everyone says, he is SMART.

if you had to boil it down, I'd say that post-2016, it became clear that SID is the confident one and GENO is the insecure one. and fic caught onto that with a miraculously fast pace. also: they're more alike than they are different, but I still think romance inherently feeds off of difference and tension, so we still exaggerate things to make the stories ✨WORK✨.

I'm not going to give examples of pre- and post- era fics, because I don't want to point any fingers and say someone was doing characterization "wrong." that's not the takeaway I want anyone to have here.

fandom attitudes have changed. it's been 10 years since that first wave of fics, and while I don't think that's very long, it's a hell of a long time on the internet, and in a niche internet community. what was once the standard for fics (and what was well-read, and what people gravitated towards) was different. not worse—different.

I think it's fair to say the "after" era of fics is more "accurate" to what we know of sid and geno. it's also fair to say that this is only the case because we have a WEALTH of information, character-revealing interviews and videos and anecdotes, that Ye Old Authors could only dream of getting.

I really love the story of how everything has changed, and it's a fabulous microcosm of fandom evolution and how approaches to fanworks have changed and grown with fandom, and I think it's all so so cool.

[la-femme-au-collier-vert]

So you want to learn about Louisiana Voodoo…

door in New Orleans by Jean-Marcel St. Jacques

For better or worse (almost always downright wrong) Louisiana Voodoo and Hoodoo are likely to come up in any depiction of the state of Louisiana. I’ve created a list of works on contemporary and historical Voodoo/Hoodoo for anyone who’d like to learn more about what this tradition is and is not (hint: it developed separately from Haitian Vodou which is its own thing) or would like to depict it in a non-stereotypical way. I’ve listed them in chronological order. Please keep a few things in mind. Almost all sources presented unfortunately have their biases. As ethnographies Hurston’s work no longer represent best practices in Anthropology and has been suspected of embellishment and sensationalism on this topic. Additionally the portrayal is of the religion as it was nearly 100 years ago- all traditions change over time. Likewise Teish is extremely valuable for providing an inside view into the practice but certain views, as on Ancient Egypt, may be offensive now. I have chosen to include the non-academic works by Alvarado and Filan for the research on historical Voodoo they did with regards to the Federal Writer’s Project that is not readily accessible, HOWEVER, this is NOT a guide to teach you to practice this closed tradition, and again some of the opinions are suspect- DO NOT use sage, which is part of Native practice and destroys local environments. I do not support every view expressed but think even when wrong these sources present something to be learned about the way we treat culture

*Start with Osbey, the shortest of the works. To compare Louisiana Voodoo with other traditions see the chapter on Haitian Vodou in Creole Religions of the Caribbean by Olmos and Paravinsi-Gebert. Additionally many songs and chants were originally in Louisiana Creole (different from the Louisiana French dialect), which is now severely endangered. You can study the language in Ti Liv Kreyol by Guillery-Chatman et. Al.

Le Petit Albert by Albertus Parvus Lucius (1706) grimoire widely circulated in France in the 18th century, brought to the colony & significantly impacted Hoodoo

Mules and Men by Zora Neale Hurston (1935)

Spirit World-Photographs & Journal: Pattern in the Expressive Folk Culture of Afro-American New Orleans by Michael P. Smith (1984)

Jambalaya: The Natural Woman's Book of Personal Charms and Practical Rituals by Luisah Teish (1985)

Eve’s Bayou (1997), film

Spiritual Merchants: Religion, Magic, and Commerce by Carolyn Morrow Long (2001)

A New Orleans Voodoo Priestess: The Legend and Reality of Marie Laveau by Carolyn Morrow Long (2006)

“Yoruba Influences on Haitian Vodou and New Orleans Voodoo” by Ina J. Fandrich (2007)

The New Orleans Voodoo Handbook by Kenaz Filan (2011)

“Why We Can’t Talk To You About Voodoo” by Brenda Marie Osbey (2011)

Mojo Workin': The Old African American Hoodoo System by Katrina Hazzard-Donald (2013)

The Tomb of Marie Laveau In St. Louis Cemetery No. 1 by Carolyn Morrow Long (2016)

Lemonade, visual album by Beyonce (2016)

How to Make Lemonade, book by Beyonce (2016)

“Work the Root: Black Feminism, Hoodoo Love Rituals, and Practices of Freedom” by Lyndsey Stewart (2017)

The Lemonade Reader edited by Kinitra D. Brooks and Kameelah L. Martin (2019)

The Magic of Marie Laveau by Denise Alvarado (2020)

In Our Mother’s Gardens (2021), documentary on Netflix, around 1 hour mark traditional offering to the ancestors by Dr. Zauditu-Selassie

“Playing the Bamboula” rhythm for honoring ancestors associated with historical Voodoo

Voodoo and Power: The Politics of Religion in New Orleans 1880-1940 by Kodi A. Roberts (2023)

The Marie Laveau Grimoire by Denise Alvarado (2024)

Voodoo: An African American Religion by Jeffrey E. Anderson (2024)

[jkjm9597]

I made this post yesterday on x out of nowhere and I got to know a lot about how people became jikookers

It’s so amazing seeing all these moments that made them jkkrs

I loved reading all these stories with jikook🥹🥹and i know most of the moments are

-GCF ( jk really knew what he was doing by making gcf it was like a reveal and year before its release he tweeted that he looked at the lyrics before doing a cover and asked us to pay attention to lyrics of songs)

- Rosebowl , In front of thousands people, jk and jm were on their own world🥹jk reassuring jm and sucking his ear( you don’t suck your friend ear)

- 2013/2015 were lot said jk disliked jm( I hate it) he never disliked him and was mad when some pointed it out, he was just shy and young, and we got to see him being confident and more relaxed through the years

-MMA 2018. 🥺🥺Their interaction was so sweet and cute , jk was so hypnotized by jm my god 😭

-the tone they use for eo, I think we all know it, it’s the same tone I use when I’m talking to my boyfriend

-Jk’s possessiveness, I think we all love it 😂jk is an open book and transparent you can see when he is pissed and we got to see him being the biggest minimoni anti😂😭

-the ultimate video ( if there is some who never watched it recommend) the op really detailed every little moment, and it changed a lot of minds

- And something we have in common we watched all real contents and saw the dynamic between these two, we still don’t know if they are really dating ( I believe they are) but even if there are not we are still in the right way bcz their bond is a true one we know how they care for each other and they are each other same place.

And if people were really sincere with themselves they will see it even locals saw it, someone who never know about shipping always ask If they are dating so I dont believe that they don’t see it but they don’t want it because it’s/ so obvious.

-2016 live in Osaka 😂where tae went in jk’s room finding him eating naked and the music😭and after tae went there you could hear jm’s voice and the next day jimin was mad at tae 😂😂( it’s détailles in the ultimate video)

-the hickey😂this is so funny to me because you can give someone a hickey when you’re being turned on the air and have time to bite someone it’s just a story they made😂and the fact that jk didn’t want anyone to touch it but jimin 😭

-jk’s 2023 lives, i think lot of people to became jkkrs with that bcz jk really didn’t hide anything

- jm’s bday 2021 were he did the live in jk’s studio, cake made by jk( you’re my park filter can you think about the insanity of this?) jimin being a blushing mess🥺their phone call, how jk talked to him too smooth how jm’s voice was too sweet and hobi who represent us ( we got to know a lot bcz of him )

-Buddy system ( I swear I still can’t believe that they really enlisted) I’m still thinking about it a lot, nothing can compare to it

And all the runs, cute moments we got, the others gcf were jk took his time when jimin came on screen, the choice of the lyrics 🥺

And jk’s aura change when he is around jimin like he is not the maknae anymore like he is with the others hyungs, like he want to kill all things touching jm, and jm in the other hand just let his guard down a little and let jk do whatever he wants 🥺

Saw too lot of them were tkkrs or ynmrs, vminers but got to watch reals content Ms to see the difference and became jkkrs

Sometimes I swear when I think about one of those specific moments I’m just zoning out like “ my god they are really in love”

[thislovintime]

Photo 1 from the Reelin’ In The Years Photo Archive, photographer unnamed; photo 3 by Ken McKay/Shutterstock.

Remembering Michael and Davy on their birthdays.

“The man was unique and a huge, huge talent. We’re not going to replace him. […] [Davy] was such a little heartthrob. I don’t think people knew how bright and talented and gifted he was in all things. I’ve come to believe he was, in his own way, the smartest, most musically talented and best actor among us.” - Peter Tork, Boston Globe, May 16, 2013

“Mike and I have been back and forth with the emails […] I bore him no ill-will. I have a lot of respect and admiration and some affection for Mike. And I’m glad to be back in touch with him.” - Peter Tork, interview with Iain Lee, 2012

Q: “I’m curious about the various reunions that happened over the years. Is it safe to say that you guys were never really friends?” Peter Tork: “Oh, I don’t know. I would say I was pretty good friends with Micky, and there was a lot of love between me and Davy. I have a lot of respect for Mike Nesmith and we’ve structured ways to work together. Things rotate. It’s like having a basketball team. You know, gosh, it’s like having a championship basketball team. They go on the road every so often and do tours, you know, just exhibition tours but fortunately your music skills don’t deteriorate as fast as your basketball skills do, but I wouldn’t know what else to compare it to. We had a chance to go out together and we took it, and we had a great time, and if we were not friends at all we would not have been able to do it. We played tours months and months long: ‘86, ‘87, ‘89, ‘91, ‘92, ‘96, ‘97, 2001, 2002 and 2011, so we couldn’t have been such enemies.” - Phawker, circa 2012; re-published 2019

“[Micky] and Mike and I have a very cordial relationship and share a lot of common topics. We go to lunch together when we’re all in town and have a good time. I love and respect each of these guys in their own way, although the real joys that I shared with Davy were special. At one point we had some good hard connections but as the years rolled on, those things faded away. But I am sorry to see Davy go. He was the one member in the group that I had the strongest human connection with. I still have two guys that I love and respect left from the band, but we share a different dynamic.” - Peter Tork, Review Mag, May 27, 2016

“Well, I’ve never been really close with Michael [Nesmith] for some reason. You know, I have a lot of respect for him and admiration. But somehow we’ve never integrated. We’ve never been warm with each other. We worked together and did pretty well at it really. But Micky on the other hand, I enjoy hugely. We have some very good times together. We laugh a lot. We pay attention to what each other is doing on stage and so there’s communication there. Micky’s always been a lot of fun. Who I miss is Davy of course. Davy is the guy who…I’ve always said I loved, liked and respected [the band members] in different proportions but Davy actually kinda got my heart.” - Peter Tork, Clevescene, March 13, 2017

[eisforeidolon]

So every year GLAAD has put out a 'Where We Are on TV Report' and they've publicly archived back to the 2006-2007 tv season. There's a lot of data there about what types of and how many relevant recurring series characters are appearing in shows. I'm not going to get into the methodology or the finer details, because the point I'm aiming for really only has to do with their yearly comparison between the five main broadcast networks: ABC, CBS, The CW, Fox, NBC). Specifically, how The CW compares and how fucking stupid reasonable it is to call it, specifically, homophobic relative to the industry as a whole over one single specific ship not being canon.

After it not having any notable inclusions for the 2006-2007, 2007-2008 years, they make a note that the CW had its first regular LGBT+ character in the 2008-2009 season [X] . With similar minor increasing additions in 2009-2010 [X], 2010-2011 [X], before a drop in 2011-2012 [X]. In 2012-2013 it is the third most inclusive network out of the big five (ABC, FOX, The CW, NBC, CBS) [X]. Also third in 2013-2014 [X], then dropped to last place in 2014-2015 [X]. It doesn't look like there was a ranking by network as part of the report in 2015-2016 [X], and then it's listed as third again in 2016-2017 [X]. After which the CW jumps to number one in 2017-2018 [X], and remains there through 2018-2019 [X], 2019-2020 [X], 2020-2021 [X], 2021-2022 [X], and 2022-2023 [X]. The most recent report for 2023-2024 is up and in it The CW drops to fourth, only beating out Fox [X].

Which means that around 2020, when SPN ended? The time during which hellers are claiming there was some vast homophobic conspiracy at the CW? Which the cast troll has now flip-flopped to parroting after previously not only saying there was no conspiracy/no other scripts/reciprocation was never pitched and then taking another job at the CW and praising the network's diversity on Gotham Knights? Of the five main broadcast networks, the CW was smack in the middle of a running streak of having the most representation on broadcast tv, and that year's percentage of recurring LGBT+ series characters was at 14.2% - about 4 percentage points higher than the next closest at 9.9%, and about eleven percentage points higher than the lowest at 2.9%.

Look, I'm not saying there aren't issues with the landscape of television overall when it comes to representation. I'm not even saying that an otherwise inclusive network can't make decisions out of homophobia. But in this specific case? The showrunners and the actual stars made it clear over and over and over again what the show Supernatural was - and wasn't - about. The network has otherwise been widely recognized as a leader for its inclusivity of prominent LGBT+ characters during that time period by legitimate organizations and even by spineless trolls named Misha. Who was one of many, many people refuting that the network had anything to do with the pathetic mess that was Castiel's death scene and its subsequent irrelevance to the story when the final episodes aired. The people Misha's parroting now in calling the network homophobic ~*just so happen*~ to consistently reveal themselves to be butthurt shippers high on the fumes of their own bizarre reinterpretations of SPN as a thwarted super sneakret hidden gay love story that it never intended or promised to be. Time after time, they make it very clear no other representation but the very specific thing they ship actually "counts".

So is the network homophobic, or are hellers entitled obsessed children trying to co-opt legitimate social causes while being lead on by an inconsistent pandering conman who has vaguely heard of integrity as something that happens to other people? Gosh, we just don't know!

Finally, there is a world of difference between criticizing a network for something it it openly actually doing (look at almost literally any article about Nexstar's CW buyout) and parroting butthurt shipper conspiracy bullshit you are entirely aware is bullshit in the crassest way possible specifically so a shrinking pool of obsessed weirdos will keep giving you money as long as possible.

[joesalw]

You really can't write this shit lmao...

TS's friend group consists of Miss 'idc about genocide and continue to employ a bloodthirsty zionist CEO for my makeup brand' and Cara D who's great grandfather created the Black and Tans which is a terrorist organisation that killed Irish people during the Irish War of Independence. A group that also sent their people to kill Palestinians in favor of establishing the state of Israel. Last night these 3 went to Ramy Youssef's (who Taylor probably met at the "Poor Things" premiere) comedy show in NYC and 100% of the proceeds would go to the Gaza relief fund. The thing is, Selena and Taylor are getting all the credit and praise for Ramy's activism. I've been a fan of her work for the past 10 years and her recent activities have turned me off of her completely. The turning point was that pathetic TIME interview.

I've always thought of her as this well-read individual who can masterfully express herself whether it would be public speaking or writing but I couldn't help but cringe while reading that article. She tries too hard to appeal to gen z and younger millennial crowd when she herself is practically pushing 40 atp. I feel like all of her 'intelligence' came from being around Joe Alwyn who's a notorious bookworm. The fact that she describes her Rep era as 'goth-punk' was the first strike, the 2016 hate train as a ' career death' was the 2nd and the whole patriarchy delusion she went into just hit the final nail in the coffin and I was like 'nope, not doing this shit anymore'.

I know that swifties have been comparing her to Beyonce lately saying things like 'well, Taylor writes her songs' or 'Beyonce can't read' and talking about how she doesn't give interviews so people don't know that she's dumb. And as a comparison I've found her Harper's Bazaar interview that she gave when she turned 40. And good God, I've slept on this woman for way too long. In the interview she talks about building her work ethic from an early age. The dedication of her life's decades (First decade was dedicated to dreaming, the teens were about the grind, the 20s were about building a strong foundation for her career and establishing her legacy, the 30s were about starting her family and prioritizing her own life over her career). She started her own management company at 27, in 2013 she started her charity foundation in which she helps hurricane relief, education, supporting minorities businesses, families with housing needs, water crises, pediatric health care and pandemic relief. She talks about expanding her business ventures beyond music industry, talks about setting boundaries in the world of celebrity culture, about her friends being a group of strong independent women, about the importance of mental health. She also says that she's most inspired by her parents ("My mother has always been my Queen and still is. She has always been so strong and is filled with humanity", "No matter how tired she was, she was always professional, loving, and nurturing."; "My father constantly encouraged me to write my own songs and create my own vision. He is the reason I wrote and produced at such a young age."). That woman is so well-spoken and genuine you can't help but feel warm while reading it and she doesn't feel the need of throwing unnecessary 'smart people' words to seem that way.

Reading Taylor's "Person of the Year" profile and Beyonce's 'Entering 40s' interview were completely different experiences. And as a result, one of them lost a fan and the other gained one. I wish Tree Paine would stop Taylor from giving these interviews because everytime she does, she comes across as tone-deaf, out of touch, mentally stuck overgrown teenager, try-hard bratty diva who can't stand being not the only one praised.

Anyway, I'd recommend to read the full interview and watching her new film. I've watched it yesterday and got the urge of turning my life around. That lady is truly such a light.

Taylor's friend list also includes 'Mr. and Mrs. plantation with slave cabins on the property wedding', 'a sex offender and a SA apologist as the newest addition', 'Ms. "I assaulted my own sister", ' an insecure and whiny music producer who likes to stir drama on Taylor's behalf'. And not to mention that she's dated a nazi this year and her newest flavour of the month is a fatphobic jock with a double digit iq, her father is also an avid republican voter. I think the people she surrounds herself with tell about her more than she does herself.

And concluding with two cents about Joe Alwyn. I'm glad she's out of his life. While I was a swiftie I've watched his interviews and he always came across as a very gentle, calm, well-spoken and a bit introverted man. And she's... well, her. I also think that she'd held him back in her job in regards of producers and directors not wanting their work to be overshadowed by 'Taylor's BF is in this' articles. I'm hoping he does more projects in the future or maybe dips his toes in writing and directing something because clearly he's a talented writer.

Sorry for the long rant, had to get it out of my system <3

I love reading your rants, keep it coming. they are so on point.

[fairie-grl]

inspired by @onadarklingplain 's 'Albon Pet Primer'

Sir Lewis Hamiltion has a dog, his dog is the goodest boy in the world, and I know too much about his dog so now you must suffer with this knowledge as well enjoy:

Lewis adopted Roscoe, a English bulldog, from an online adoption agency in 2013.Roscoe is a purebred bulldog with both his mom and dad being show dogs. Roscoe's name was chosen because Lewis thought it but Crofty calling Nico ‘Roscoe’ at the 2016 Chinese Grand Prix makes me have my doubts. Lewis later adopted Coco, a female bulldog. Coco’s breeder was originally going to put her down due to how expensive her health conditions, mostly likely a heart condition, were but Lewis stepped in. If you are trying to tell Coco and Roscoe apart in photos, Coco has a wider white stripe on her head. It is widest around the top of her head. Roscoe has more wrinkles and a brown spot on his snout and his strip ends at the top of his head and a new one starts off center in the back of his head. Coco’s fang teeth are also out more often compared to Roscoe's little teeth and she is a lighter color than Roscoe. Lewis expressed that he adopted the dog because his family has always had dogs, mostly labradors, but he said he always wanted an English bulldog. Coco lived till June 2020 when she passed in the night. Lewis and Roscoe were with her. His mom has five dogs! Both Roscoe and Coco have passports so they can travel with Lewis. Lewis was also granted special permission from Bernie Ecclestone to bring the dogs to the padlock (I assume Charles will ask Domenicali to bring Leo to the Padlock). 

Lewis brought a jet to fly with the dogs which he then sold in 2019. Roscoe is good with traveling due to his love of napping. In his first trip with Lewis he slept through most of the flight waking up to go to the bathroom and to make Lewis put him in his lap. Lewis followed Roscoe's command, sleeping with Roscoe in his lap like “a baby.” Lewis said, “Roscoe is the best travel pet, he just sleeps with you.” As Roscoe is getting older, Lewis has made the decision to travel less with him, as the time zones were getting hard on him. While Lewis is racing, Roscoe stays in Los Angeles, California with dog trainer Kirstin McMillan (adventuresindogtraining on instagram). Lewis says he gets pictures of Roscoe everyday and checks in on him. Roscoe also attends a dog park or “Los Angeles' first canine social club” as stated on their website called ‘Dog PPL’ in Santa Monica. It is about $120 a month for one dog.  

Not only is Roscoe Lewis’s son but also his best friend. Lewis talked about his instant connection when they first met. Roscoe gets sad when Lewis leaves and happy when he returns. Lewis says, “Then I get the Frisbee and play with him, and that’s, for me, the biggest highlight – the unconditional love you get from a pet like that.” Roscoe loves quad bikes. In one interview, Lewis said it’s because he’s lazy so he likes being driven around. However, I think it’s because he has taken after his dad and wants to race. Roscoe also loves frisbee and his ball; it seems like he enjoys fetching and chasing after things, like chasing other cars down… Roscoe WDC 2024 confirmed. Lewis also has Roscoe involved in many of his projects, Lewis has hinted that Roscoe has a cameo in ‘Apex’, his movie starring Brad Pitt. When Fortnite asked him to be in the game he said he would only agree if Roscoe was in the game with him. Fortnite, of course, agreed because Roscoe is an angel. They ended up putting him in a jet pack. He was 1,500 V-Bucks or 2,400 V-Bucks with the ‘Lewis Hamilton Budle’ (IDK if thats a lot I don’t play Fortnite). Lewis also said Roscoe is the only person he can count on to stand with him along with Bono.

After Coco’s death, Lewis took Roscoe to the vet where they recommended starting him on a vegan diet similar to what Lewis has. This vegan diet is often recommended to bulldogs because they often have food intolerances or allergies to the meat proteins that can affect the skin and gastrointestinal tract. The vegan diet Roscoe is on still includes the same things without the meat proteins in it that caused him to have health issues. Lewis has said his breathing has improved and that he no longer has skin allergies. Roscoe also has physical therapy and acupuncture every week to help with his joints.  Roscoe has also had health issues that caused him to ejaculate, often uncontrollably, scaring baby Roscoe and leading to him getting snipped in 2016. Lewis did have his sperm frozen so that Roscoe could have puppies. Lewis said, “It’s great his genes will live on.” Lewis said his plans were to have Roscoe’s puppies after he retires but with the fanzone in 2024 Australia GP, it sounds to me like he may be looking sooner to have Roscoe’s pups or to retire. Last year, around the British GP, Roscoe had some issues regarding his spine. If I remember correctly, it involved a slipped hernia in his spine. Luckily, he got stem therapy and was able to attend the GP. He has been improving, and as of today he is back to normal.

Now for the part most people know about. Roscoe started his instagram account, roscoelovescoco, in January 2015 with a post featuring Coco and him captioned “Thanks for following us :).” The instagram account was originally a joint account with both Coco and Roscoe until 2020, although both did get solo posts. As expected Roscoe does make money off his Instagram, but he is also a dog model. Lewis said in a Silver Arrows interview in 2021 that he gets paid $700 a day which goes in Roscoe's treat fund. Roscoe also has sponsorships. His Thanksgiving party was sponsored by Bramble Pets, and he did content (including a commercial) for Zapp, a food delivery company Lewis invested in. Roscoe also appears in Lewis' vlog channel (it hasn’t been updated since 2021) multiple times. His last appearance is in a video “Adventures with Roscoe! | Lewis Hamilton Vlogs” which is also the last updated video on Lewis channel. He reached 1 million followers in 2024, which is more than Chouprette Lagerfield, the cat of Karl Lagerfeld (I am not joking, this man left a good chunk of his fortune [~$300 million] to his cat). Roscoe’s captions on his instagram posts were originally typed in a sort of third person first person mix but in October 2020, Roscoe finally established his first first person post with his famous lisp. However, the conspiracy expands as prior to this first lisp post, there are two posts on instagram where Roscoe (and Coco) are talking to us. The first one was posted April 2024 with Roscoe saying, ‘They put a thermometer up me bum, dad!’ In this speech bubble, Roscoe doesn’t have a lisp but does speak in a sort of baby talk. The next post in October 2017 features both Roscoe and Coco with Roscoe saying, “We got acupuncture today Dad!” and Coco saying, “It’s my favorite.” (More info about the dogs getting acupuncture is in the health section.) I will note his lisp comes and goes on his posts around November 2020. His lisp finally stays and its intensity does increase. There are also a few posts taken with Mercedes that don’t feature the lisp, and a few posts talking about Roscoe or Coco written in their “Dad’s” pov where it obviously doesn’t use a lisp.

[scullymaxxing]

the real x files

is were they fuckin.

and from my hours of research, scouring countless delusional pro-g*llovny internet users, i can say that you all would make shit detectives. specifically the g*llovny blogs that compare pictures of DA and DD's kids and try to argue that they've have some secret elaborate 30 year long relationship?? theyre not actually the characters they portray, u guys kno that right? right??

ok good.

so basically...

i think DD and GA hooked up in the beginning of filming, before they knew they have to see each other for the next decade (link to website). and then obviously by the time GA was pregnant (beginning of 1993) she was with Klotz. theres a reason most of the msr gifs are from the first few seasons...

Her and Klotz divorced the same year DD and Tea Leoni got married, 1997. The 1997 golden globes (u know the one), was in january.

DD and GA's "dark period" was a year later, 1998, and i feel like they could have regressed in between the time of her divorce and his marriage (this slightly dubious interview from 2002 with GA claims just that) (context: interview transcript with GA, allegedly translated from an italian paper in 2002. even discounting this source, it is not implausible, but definitely left to speculation). they were also filming the movie around 1997-1998, and im certain that they were around each other more than their partners at the time.

Marketing

given that a lot of the DDGA confirmed sources are from magazines, im gonna agree with the claim that DDGA was kind of not that secret at the time, as well as a marketing ploy. anything they said or did in 2008, 2013, 2016-2017 was fully marketing idc. the revival era interviews (including 2008 in this era) do show different stages of DD and GA reflecting on their relationship which is insightful and there are countless interviews where GA kind of hints to stuff, but they were all promos for x files (interviews linked below the cut). they certainty fan the flame, though. and while i am certain it was not by design, their chemistry in the first season, whatever the catalyst may have been, was a saving grace of the show.

the Industry

also, i dont think g*llovny shippers on the Celibacy Website have a realistic grasp on the television/film industry or the business of marketing and publicity. luckily, i go to a college full of people who do just that, and let me tell u, actors fuck each other all the time, and i dont think sex was necessarily sacred or all that deep for either of them... (as with most actors,,, have you ever met a film kid??)

some potential drama given this analysis that i think about:

did GA get with Klotz to make DD jealous, or to move on? or both? GA and DD had a "professional" relationship until her divorce? and then post-divorce was when shit got real...

i also think a big reason to deny the relationship (besides, like the right to privacy as a human being), is because of their timing,,, like she was married and had a kid by the end of 1994, what good would admitting to an affair during that time bring? i dont think DD is the father or anything, but i think even admitting it given the timing would have cast messy implications on DD, GA, Klotz, and/or her daughter.

did DD marry Tea after hooking up with GA in 1997 as an apology and commitment to her, or to move on? the timing is odd if that one dubious excerpt is to be believed, but even without it, it would provide plausible context concerning the catalyst of the Dark Times.

there is the detail that DD and GA announced their divorces on each other's birthdays, which is... a crazy coincidence.

i NEED to know about the "dark times"... i literally can not imagine Hating someone and then being able to look deeply into their eyes. i need to see bloopers or something.

overly specific timeline with sources below the cut (i never said i wasnt as thorough or meticulous as g*llovny shippers, i just said theyre dillusional)

1992: CC writes the pilot, it is picked up by Fox, DD and GA meet at auditions.

sept 10, 1993: s1e1 pilot airs. we can assume they have been filming since or shortly after auditions. They would have known each other and been shooting for at least a few months by the time the pilot aired.

1994: This clip from Entertainment Tonight that i suspect was filmed around the time they were filming S1, in 1993. DD: "ive spent more time with gillian than anybody in my whole life... so, you know, it’s.. you know, you gotta be careful.. somebody could get hurt." GA mouths "me." the whole time GA is trying to suppress some mixed but kind of revealing facial expressions. idk u gotta watch it, but it looks very early on in the series, and is the type of banter that people trying to convince themselves not to fuck engage in.

sept 1994: Gillians daughter is born. Giving them the benefit of the doubt, they probably werent fucking for about nine months before this.nine months before sept would have been around december 1993 by the most liberal of estimates

so they essentially had from whenever they met in 1992 until around the end of 1993, though GA probably would have been with Klotz for a few months before she got pregnant around the beginning of 1994

1994-1995 Interview: (sometime during season 2 filming, post pregnancy): In an interview, around the 8 min mark, GA: "at the beginning we [her and DD] started out very close, and, um, as you work together... things change a little bit. we have a very professional relationship, very business orientated."

post-2003: there are countless interviews with GA where she sloppily evades the questions. 2008 jimmy kimmel interview , 2009 interview , 2014 interview GA: “maybe... there might even be more than an attraction.. but it’s not gonna happen”

personal psychoanalysis of strangers, by a stranger

GA:

2003: in a BBC produced podcast recorded around 2003, GA talks about having lethal depression as a teen and engaging in rebellious/self sabotaging behaviors while in the US. (honestly, it makes sense why scully resonated with queer emos, GA was one!)

1999: excerpt where GA describes her attraction to “dangerous” (ie toxic, avoidant, noncommittal) men and DD definitely fits the bill.

GA’s dating and marriage history is kinda crazy and impulsive in retrospect. of course i know she wasn’t thinking about that as she was living her life but, she makes wild moves.

GA was also so so young and new to the industry. Hollywood is infamous for its coercive business tactics and Gillian sure knows how to play the game. (the crown) or "bc the director liked her".

DD:

2008: DD sex addiction. and he probably thought with his dick and had very lose ideas about relationships for years before he came out with the addition. (like maybe 10 or 20 years of giving into the same self sabotaging behavior patters) tbh he 100% fits the fuckboy profile, he was just a Man in the 90's and none of the gen-z g*llovny sh*ppers are used to seeing a Classic Fuckboy.

u guys guys see too much mulder in DD. DD is an intelligent, rich, NYC jew who went to TWO ivy league schools.... youre a young, handsome, educated actor who just got signed onto his first pilot... thats gotta make a man bold and impulsive.

at present, he is a rich boomer podcaster engaged to someone less less than half his age who looks like a guy who would call me a slur in the street. DD isnt the clever, witty, crimefighting mulder or hank moody or any of his charming characters, hes literally just some guy. same goes for GA, shes just a rich white lady...

[batsplat]

Is Valentino Rossi the best rider in 1vs1 battles?

ehhhhh *shrugs* I mean. the best ever? like. who knows. the best in the field most years he was competing in the sport? maybe, I guess?

this is one of those questions where I don't really like giving definitive answers but am more interested in how you'd even go about assessing it? like, what metrics are you looking at, what are the criteria, can you put numbers to it or do you have to be super holistic about it or what. I think the 1 vs 1 is already an interesting distinctions, because that is a little different from just talking about wheel to wheel skill. they're related skill sets, but it's not the exact same

so. to bring in an example with a sample set of races I imagine most people reading this are pretty familiar with. let's say we're comparing valentino and marc in direct combat with each other. let's say we put the races where they're fighting one-on-one for basically the entire race in one box, so assen 2015 and catalunya 2016. let's say we have races where one of them is working their way through the field - and it's all building towards the confrontation between the two of them, so say a qatar 2013, a qatar 2014, an argentina 2015. let's say you have a very intense fight that doesn't last the whole race, like sepang 2015, or an extended 'duel' that is basically a defensive ride without any actual overtakes, like silverstone 2015. now, you may have noticed that from this list, valentino... kinda wins a lot of these? not qatar 2014, plus sepang 2015 is in the 'this cost both riders too much to have a winner' camp, but except for that? it's a strong record for valentino. however! the moment you take away the '1 vs 1' qualifier, suddenly the record looks way kinder to marc - you have a catalunya 2014, a phillip island 2015 and a phillip island 2017 go in his favour, while only assen 2017 is a multi-rider dogfight that involves both of them where valentino ends up taking the win. I do think when you're considering 'rivalries' and how a particular dynamic develops over time, it's worth looking specifically at what's happening in extended one-on-one combat and differentiating that from dogfights! because it is a different vibe, because it matters if you're just focused on one guy. but of course both categories still matter in assessing direct combat... even if there are also different skills involved in those different types of fights. valentino, even very late in his career, was still particularly adept at challenging and outsmarting individual riders, and it's a specific format he clearly did thrive in. so. yeah. both of these general categories are indicative of w2w ability, even if they're not quite the same - either in terms of the skills required or in terms of narrative implications

here's another issue. valentino tends to win the race-deciding extended confrontations against marc, but obviously that too isn't entirely reflective of what happened when they met each other on-track. this is because during their time together in the premier class, marc was winning a lot more races than valentino and generally had more pace than valentino, so a lot of on-track confrontations that marc came on top of where typically one-and-done type situations. overtake and move on, overtake and move on. so while you still have a misano 2014 (valentino overtakes marc and marc eventually crashes while attempting to keep up) or a brno 2014 (another valentino overtake where he pulls clear), you then also have laguna 2013 (the corkscrew move is the end of that battle), le mans 2014 (a single overtake around halfway through the race after which marc easily pulls clear), indy 2014 (an early tussle that eventually becomes more marc domination), motegi 2016 (similar, except here valentino ends up crashing), thailand 2018 (valentino can't keep up the pace once marc has gotten past)... like, we get to a place where we're risking penalising marc for 'being very fast' and not sticking around once he's gotten the overtake done, which does also feel wrong? it's an odd balance - because, again, when we're talking Actual Rivalries then it does matter who is winning an extended battle, psychologically if nothing else. like if that's the bit that mattered the most to the outcome of your race, if that's the bit people will remember years to come, if you invested a lot into winning that fight, of course it does matter. but that's narrative, not skill... is this really a good way of assessing how good someone is at 1 vs 1 duels?

I picked the example of that specific rivalry not just because it's the one most people are most familiar with or because I love engaging in discourse about that rivalry - but because I think direct rivalry comparisons are probably the most straightforward way you can approach trying to figure out who is 'better'... and marc clocks in just behind casey as the one who has the most balanced record against valentino w2w. like, biaggi is basically a walkover, and honestly you don't really have that many extended 1 vs 1 duels except for welkom 2004. and for sete, obviously a great rivalry (and I've always believed you don't need a rivalry of equals for it to be good and fun), but also once you get past that sachsenring 2003 turning point then the balance does go out of the window. I've been thinking about this in relation to a longer ask I've ended up massively overthinking (surely not), but I was kinda startled looking back at just how one-sided valentino's record is against jorge. like, unless I'm forgetting some major battles, the most extended scrap you can point to that jorge won is for his very first premier class win at estoril 2008 - and that's also pretty much settled by around halfway/two thirds through the race. but the actual 1 vs 1's that last much of the race? catalunya 2009? sachsenring 2009? motegi 2010? well.... hm. races that build to a battle like sepang 2010 also go in valentino's favour, and even extended tussles like le mans 2011 and phillip island 2014 are more valentino W's. hell, even various short and sweet battles like jerez and indy 2008, misano 2009, motegi 2015, aragon 2016, sachsenring 2018 generally have valentino come out on top - though in this category there's some exceptions, like qatar 2008, indy 2009 and jerez 2010 that all involved jorge besting valentino in a short direct fight

which raises another problem... we do need to in some way acknowledge that valentino simply ends up in more of these fights than most of his rivals - and as a direct result ends up winning more of them. like, once jorge clicked into title winning form in 2010, most of his wins became 'shoot off the line and win way ahead of everyone else with metronomic consistency'. I'm not saying all his race wins were like that! and he did win some great duels in his time in the premier class, especially against marc. but of course, he did that kind of dominating races a hell of a lot more than valentino did - whose approach to winning races was more 'qualify wherever, amble off the line, get moving around halfway through the race and figure things out from there'. now, I discussed this point a little bit here in the context of 'was valentino still successfully mind gaming the other aliens' - but just to bring it back, valentino was deliberately approaching his races in ways geared primarily towards being able to fight his opponents, even to the level of how he set up his bike:

you see this most extremely with something like laguna 2008, where valentino flat out knew he didn't have the outright pace to win - his entire strategy was built around not being the fastest but being able to fuck with casey. in that situation, he's not got the speed, he's building his entire strategy for the win around wheel-to-wheel disruption. and this, plus the regularly mediocre qualifying and starts, does just mean that statistically speaking he's overtaking more riders in his average win than any of the other aliens are. like, if that's your primary metric, then yes! he's clearly very good at w2w! by extension he's also very good at 1 vs 1 duels! if you're looking at riders who have clocked in more than a certain number of wins and do the maths of average overtakes per win, then, yes, I would imagine he tops that metric. does that make him the best? ... well, again... it does feel like you're risking penalising the better qualifiers and starters for being better qualifiers and starters and not ending up in seventh place at the end of every single first lap

so, you've got 'how they measure up against their direct rivals' and 'average numbers of overtakes' as ways to begin considering w2w ability as well as 1 vs 1 track record. then you get into increasingly nebulous waters... here's another potential metric for w2w skill I quite like: efficiency in overtaking. not naming any names, but there are certain riders who, when attempting to work their way through the field, will just. get stuck. even though they have a clear pace advantage over the rider directly in front of them. leading to incredible amounts of faffing about rather than just getting the overtake done. obviously, valentino does like to engage in some faffing about too, but generally speaking he's only doing that when he's in close proximity to the race leader and can realistically get himself to the front of the pack fairly quickly. he's very efficient when he's actually working his way through the field. of course, this is something marc is similarly excellent at, as he has shown plenty of times this year... which. well. this is where we run headfirst into another problem: this sport has changed a lot over the years and some things are simply not at the same difficulty level as they were in past years. so, sticking with those two, which of these is a 'better' comeback? 2006 sachsenring, where valentino starts tenth on the grid after tyre problems in qualifying, at a track he doesn't really love and in serious championship trouble, but works his way to the front before having to fend off the chasing pack that is coming back at him all the way until the chequered flag? or 2024 sachsenring, where marc starts thirteenth on the grid after having been impeded in q1, at his speciality circuit that he's visiting for the first time on a new bike, and works his way up to p2 despite his fractured rib and finger in an era where overtaking is a lot harder than it was in 2006? well, first of all, congrats to both of them, very nicely done. but secondly, that's kind of the problem, right? while I'm sure prime valentino in this era would also regularly be doing that marc/pedro thing where they make the commentators go 'oh ho ho they said overtaking was impossible in motogp these days!!' - at the end of the day his approach involved some built-in faffing about that was also more feasible back in the day. if we're assessing w2w ability, we do need to make some kind of allowance for era - which also affects how often riders are likely to find themselves in 1 vs 1 duels in the first place

here's another plausible metric: last lap battles. this is ALSO something that is super era-dependent. casey in his whole time in the premier class gets involved in like? about four battles that are still going on in the final lap? there's definitely a few I'm forgetting, especially if they weren't for wins/podium places, but it's definitely not a lot. compare and contrast with how the 2017 to 2019 era played out. everything back then was tyre management, tyre management and more tyre management, and dovi in particular was big on the 'eh let's win this race at the slowest possible pace' thing, where everyone crawled around the track as slowly as they could get away with before pulling the pin a few laps before the end. obviously, the characteristics of that era were a) very beneficial to dovi, in that they rewarded both those who knew how to make those specific tyres work (and his decline in 2020 was largely linked to the changes in tyres) and those who were very good at managing last lap duels, but b) inherently were more likely to produce last lap duels than a few other eras. like, in the alien era, which regularly featured gaps of. idk. seven seconds between the front runners, the characteristics of those bikes (as well as those riders) just meant you had very few battles that lasted that long. so inherently, it's harder to judge riders like, say, casey on how good they are in that kind of situation, not least because you are working with such a tiny sample size. and those battles are a big feature of how we remember 1 vs 1 duels!! people love last lap duels!!

now, yes, obviously valentino's record in 1 vs 1 last lap duels is very strong, and there's really only a few he loses over the course of his entire career. dovi is another strong contender in that particular category if we're just limiting ourselves to riders this century (which we are). (unfortunately, those two kinda took turns to be competitive so we didn't really get much of a direct h2h, but off the top of my head I think it's a pleasing 2-2? dovi takes qatar 2008 and le mans 2011, valentino takes qatar 2015 and argentina 2019. I feel like I'm definitely forgetting something.) but again, you do end up in caveat central with this metric. look at marc, who was reliably finding himself in last lap duels specifically at tracks he and/or the honda were quite poor at - again, ragging on that record too much does feel like you're penalising him for managing to get there in the first place. on the other hand, is it really fair to take too much credit away from dovi in handling those situations - surely, at the point where you're arriving in the last lap together, you're at a stage where both riders have a decent chance of winning? on the third hand, it is worth pointing out that dovi is more often than not in the lead going into those last laps, and is fending off a sort of on-the-edge last gasp 'might as well have a go' marc attack. 'last lap battles' is inherently quite a loose term, and how much should who's leading going in be considered a criterion? does it matter if you actually have an overtake or not? does it matter when in the lap the overtake happens? it's obviously quite an arbitrary category... sete makes a mistake headed into the last lap at sachsenring 2005 that gives valentino the lead, while marc makes a mistake on the penultimate lap of catalunya 2016 that essentially ends his victory challenge towards valentino. how do you compare those?

and at a certain point, you need to get away from the headline numbers and start thinking about what it actually means to be good at 1 vs 1 duels. you get into categories like 'race management' - choosing when best to make your attack, balancing risk and reward, not making risky overtake attempts for no good reason when you could just wait for half a minute longer, making sure not to needlessly fuck your tyres while pushing too hard too early. there's ability to actually execute overtakes, which is a question of race craft, creativity, and also about being able to play the opponent. there's various defensive abilities - somebody like pecco exemplifies this, who is both very hard to initially overtake in part due to his ability on his brakes, but is also adept at immediately re-overtaking (a favourite trick of his mentor too, as it happens). to borrow from another sport's terminology, you can contrast 'conversion' and 'steal' rate - if you have the superior underlying pace at crucial stages of the race, are you actually converting that into your maximum achievable result, or conversely if you have inferior pace, can you steal a result your pace doesn't 'merit'? obviously, you get a massive blot in the copy book every time you fail to convert any kind of result by crashing out or by bagging yourself a severe penalty for your race conduct. what about the psychological dimension? your ability to put pressure on another rider, e.g. by showing them a wheel here or there, to force them into a mistake rather than 'just overtaking' them via pure skill? is reputation and intimidation part of your skill set when it comes to wheel to wheel ability? the off-track 'work' you're doing on the opponent, and the prior weight of their expectations for this fight... your ability to study and analyse riders to pinpoint where they are at their strongest and weakest, while also figuring out where they're going to expect an attack and where they won't - maybe even sucker them into thinking it will come from somewhere differently than it actually does... on sheer weight of his track record, you'd have to say valentino is pretty much peerless in some of these categories. and, yes, some of these skills are weighted quite clearly towards the '1 vs 1' element over the 'multi-rider dogfight' element of w2w skills. they're more about terrorising a specific rival than thriving in the chaos

so. what does all of this mean. what's the actual answer. is valentino the best at 1 vs 1 duels. well. who knows. even if we're ignoring the historical dimension and limiting ourselves just to this century, there's too many confounding factors - from different racing eras within that time span to different individual approaches to racing - to allow us to truly evaluate who the 'best' is. I think the cleanest way to summarise it is... from the great riders this century, valentino is the one who most depends on his 1 vs 1 skills (and w2w skills more broadly). that's his unique selling point in a way you wouldn't say it is for any of the others... the guy who gets closest is dovi - but I still reckon his biggest skill is his tyre management and that was the most important differentiating factor that made him so competitive in 2017-19. his ability to scrap w2w comes second (and is absolutely a constant throughout his career), but really that's the bit that allows him to take advantage of the tyre whispering skills... it lets him finish the job, if you will. whereas with valentino, his brains and cunning broadly speaking and his w2w more specifically - and especially the 1 vs 1 stuff - is like, his x factor. I mean... obviously he's also good at the other things - I called him a mid qualifier but of course it's worth remembering he has 55 career pole positions in the premier class, more than jorge or casey or dani. this is primarily a function of his longevity and all of them are definitely better qualifiers than him, but like. of course he's not slow. it's just that relatively speaking, when compared to the other aliens, he's the one who is winning the least via his actual raw pace. here's one metric for that: in valentino's seven premier class title campaigns, he only has the highest average grid position in only three (and during his super dominant 2002 season, it's joint with biaggi). in three of those title-winning seasons, he's the second best qualifier on average, and in one of them he's only third best. the only other seasons this century where the best qualifier on average doesn't win the title are 2015 (marc just beats jorge, valentino is quite a distant third), 2020 (joan mir icon winning a title with an average grid position of NINE POINT FIVE SEVEN lmaoooooo, only seventh best on the grid), 2022 (fabio is a little ahead of martin and then pecco) and... that's it

which kinda means that... can you say valentino's objectively better at 1 vs 1 battles than the other aliens? well, no. I mean, sure, I do feel fairly happy to say he's better than jorge and especially dani, more *wiggles hand* about casey and marc - because with those two there's enough confounding factors in comparing them to valentino and they've also challenged valentino often enough directly that you can make the alternative case. in the end you do kinda go... well, it's very much a 'all these guys were at their best in very different versions of motogp' thing. what you can say is that for valentino, 1 vs 1 prowess is a bigger part of his game than it is for his fellow aliens. his route to victory both on an individual race level and on a title fight level is built around engaging in a lot of these fights and winning them - and, given how successful he's been, of course you do have to conclude that bit of his game is clearly operating on a high level. so when you compare that to both casey and marc, those two really do have other bits of their games that are more important to their success. fewer of their race victories percentage-wise have been won through 1 vs 1 duels. casey is dominating enough races from the front he's not even doing all that much w2w tussling. marc might be losing plenty of these close duels, but he's relentlessly at the front enough that this consistency is what's giving him titles as much as anything else. whereas valentino's entire approach is tailored towards finding himself in those kinds of direct scraps, winning said scraps, and then using those scraps as a way to demoralise the opposition... unsurprisingly, he's got the biggest sample size of that style of battle and has a very high success rate. who knows if he's the best, but he is the most dependent on that specific skill. and he sure has had a lot of practise at those duels, which I imagine will have gotten him just a little closer to being perfect