#╰ things have changed || blog update

[grassbreads]

On a scale of Chang Geng to Luo Binghe, how well does your teenage protagonist cope with the realization that he has a massive thing for the guy that's basically raising him?

[puppyeared]

Ever since I was a little girl I always knew I wanted a butch twice my size to call me a good boy

[blizzardfluffykpop]

alright~ a few updates about everything! so this weekend I'll be seeing changkyun in chicago- so I prolly won't be posting until after I'm alive again from that 😂😅 (I am vv excited about it- I just know I'll be vv tired when I return home). Anyways, I have a few fics in the works~ one of them that is a request 🤭 I'm vv excited to work on them! But I think I'm going to change my masterlist a bit when I come back. I'm going to retire a few groups from the main masterlist and I've been debating for the past year about it... But I think I'm going to add a yearly masterlist- So it would go from most recent to the beginning of this year~

I'm also thinking about changing my pfp- I haven't been really into stray kids for uh... years- But I will be sure to make an update about that if I go thru with that too- (It may be ji changmin next 🫣🤭)

Anyways those are my few updates 🥰💖

[mysterywheeze]

If you've ever struggled with suicidal ideation, this has likely been a particularly difficult week. It certainly has been for me. I've lost a lot of trust in a lot of people. I hope this post doesn't make anyone lose trust in me.

You need to live. That means you, the person reading this post. I don't know your name or your situation but I know, with the same certainty that I know that the Earth is turning, that you need to live.

I know that it can be hard, crushingly hard. I know what it's like to feel so empty that getting out of bed seems impossible, or so overwhelmed that drastic action seems like the only way out.

It isn't. Death is not the answer. It sure as fuck isn't praxis. Please, please do not let anyone convince you otherwise. If you think that your death will have a net positive effect on the world, I promise you, as someone who has been there before, it won't.

And while I encourage you to do what you can to try and make the world a better place - donate to charity, pick up litter, volunteer your time, write your representatives, et cetera - I want to make it clear that those aren't requirements you need to meet to justify being alive. Your life has value, inherently.

Today things may be terrible. They may stay terrible for a while. But one day, a song will get stuck in your head that makes you feel something again. You'll meet a dog that loves you unconditionally. You'll eat a meal that tastes like it was cooked by an angel. You'll pick up a new hobby, perhaps without even realizing it, and it will bring you some sense of satisfaction. You'll watch a beautiful movie. You'll walk past a beautiful mural. Someone will compliment your outfit, someone will laugh at your joke, someone will tell you they're happy to spend time with you. One day you will wake up early enough to see the sun rise.

It's a cliche to say "it will get better". That's because it's true. It probably won't be a linear upward trend, rarely do things stay better forever, but there will come a time when you'll be glad you stayed alive. I promise.

[askvinylscratch]

Asks are now open!

[evansbby]

The fandom is kinda quiet today cause everyone is scared to look too much onto twitter and tumblr cause of Deadpool spoilers

Ppl are posting about the new photos today and leaving 🚪🚶🏽‍♂️lmao

I’m seeing it tomorrow so I’m looking forward to be able to look onto peoples pages without using extreme caution when scrolling ahah

Hope your day is going well 💗💗💗 Any plans?

Then there’s me who literally got sent an anon message spoiling it 🥲🥲🥲🙃🙃🙃

And no plans for me, I’m lying in bed as it’s almost midnight and I have work tomorrow!!!

[beauty-and-passion]

FSS3: an update

Hey,

Two days ago, I finished the first draft for FSS3, a fanwriting of Sanders Season 3 (season 2 finale included) that I am doing thanks to the sweet contributions/ideas/prompts given by the people of this fandom.

When two days ago I was writing the final episode that would end Sanders Sides, I realized that 

it was boring

I was not satisfied by it

it was not what I planned

not all concepts seemed to be developed well

There was one possible solution only: to check everything again.

Some of you might think this is useless, because I already planned everything in advance, right? Well, when you write, stuff tends to be added or to change. Also, when you plan in advance, everything seems very smooth. But once you have the final result of your planning, things might be different. Still, it’s better to have it, because it makes it easier to go back from the start and check if everything really is as smooth as planned.

And so, here’s how I checked it.

Those are all the main concepts/plots I developed in each episode. I needed this to check

if all plots were developed during the season

if there weren’t too many temporal gaps

If they have been all wrapped up

But since this wasn’t enough, I also put the main ones into another graph

This gave me a better vision of how the themes have been developed and also how Character!Thomas should be developed.

And if you see these post-its, they all have a title. The title of a song of Character!Thomas’ playlists. After all, his playlist follows his character arc, so why not using it as a base to see if/how I followed his arc correctly?

And speaking of characters, I couldn’t leave behind the real main ones:

Here I wrote down what they did for each episode, then added the song titles. In this case, the songs don’t just help me see if I followed their arc, but act as a reminder of how I should write the Sides and focus on their personalities.

This also made me realize the dark boys never had a chance to talk about society, which is of course a huge oversight because they clearly love doing it every time they can.

And once I noticed this, I also realized what was sitting wrong with me: it was Roman’s character arc. Only by adding his songs, I realized that after the season 2 finale, I reverted his arc and made him full of doubts again. It could’ve worked if season 2 finale was one episode, but since we’re talking about 4 parts, Roman should start season 3 with a better understanding of himself.

Once I corrected this point, Thomas’ arc improved as well and I was ableto take away one prompt that was more of a nuisance, rather than something useful.

And so, I planned season 2 finale again. Now Roman goes through a real arc, Patton is not in the back anymore and I have a chance to show Janus’ character better: this guy is useful, but he should be used well, otherwise he will end up being just a way to make jokes.

Now you may ask: why are you telling us all of this? The reason is that I learned some stuff that I want to share - and that I hope it could be useful for people who wants to write/plan to write anything.

First of all, this second check after the first draft confirmed me the importance of planning/putting down a whole project in advance, before submitting it to the public. Just imagine if I started posting stuff, without writing the end: I would’ve reached the last episode and realized that the beginning didn’t work. Then what? Take everything down and start again? All while people already read the first bad stuff I gave them? I would’ve lost credibility and people would’ve wasted their time.

Also, some episodes I planned are very good and I love them, so I would’ve hated to reveal them mixed with the bad stuff.

It also made me question, once again, how can Mr. Sanders think that writing a couple episodes at the time will help him properly wrap up the series. Sanders Sides currently has so many threads and plot points to explore, it’s impossible to properly wrap them up by planning just a couple episodes at the time. Even by planning the entire series in advance as I did, I realized there were a couple things I forgot! How can he not entirely forget/dismiss huge themes and concepts, if he doesn’t write the whole thing at once?

Last but not least, this served me as a reminder of how fun writing is. Planning the season 2 finale again made me happy, I loved the better focus I gave on Roman and Janus. And I can’t wait to replan/rewrite Roman during season 3.

Speaking of that: as you can see from my graphs, I planned 24 episodes. And I like that number, but I also realized some episodes are very short and they can be put together into one. Also, Roman’s rewrite will probably lead to less episodes in the first part.

So... well, I might end up wrapping all of this in less episodes than planned. Which is better, in a way, because it follows the trend of the first two seasons being less than 20 episodes.

In any case, I will keep you all updated.

Bye for now and I hope you are all having a great summer <3

[twilightarcade]

menuMoment

[mallowstep]

i hope you’re doing okay. 💙 it’s ok if you don’t answer this, i just wanted you to know folks are still thinking about you and wanting good things for you.

thank you babe (and thank you to everyone else who sent a message to this effect; i will answer them when i can)

i'm doing pretty well right now. i've been very busy at work, working on a top secret classified project (god only knows when you'll get more details than what i've already shared ;3), and also just. recovering from depression. there is so much of my life that even months out from the worst of it, i'm still trying to pull the pieces back together.

i have been writing a little. it's been difficult, mostly because of numerous incidents regarding writing and mental health (if you've been here for a while, you probably know about them; if you're new, the tldr is "mallowstep went off the wall for a bit and he's fine but it left him feeling bad"), and now i face down the summer which is...rough, mentally.

i don't know what normal looks like for me right now. i want to write but i don't know how it will fit into my life. i'm still making space for myself, in all the chaos and reconstruction. i know writing will be a part of normal for me. i just don't know where it fits yet.

it's been a while since i've felt like myself. the hollow feeling is abating. i am finding words to describe emotion again, that are more than just there or missing. i have been thinking about the stories i have yet to work on. what i want to tell next.

it has been an incredible two years for me. when i started this blog, i had just been broken up with by my boyfriend of three years, only a month or so after my childhood cat and dog had died one day apart. i was coping with so much impossible grief: i wrote the second chapter of i'll come back to you someday soon myself after my grandmother died, and i did not write anything after that for quite a while.

my wrists are healing. they hurt a little today and i'm not sure why, but they are healing.

i'll be going back to university as a natural resources major. i want a job that lets me protect and cultivate the forests i find so much comfort in. the complex webs of their ecosystems bring me so much delight. did you know trees talk to their daughters? did you know they care for their children? protect them?

it has been an incredible two years. i met my now-partner, learned how to actually trust people, and failed out of a year of college due to collapsing mental health. i went through approximately one million assessments to get a diagnosis and understand what was happening to me. i had a doctor tell me i was being undermedicated to an astounding degree. i had to let go of my beloved plants because i couldn't keep myself alive, much less then. i found a job i love so much i am eager to go to work every morning.

i honestly don't think i would've recognized who i am now, back when i started out here. i have become someone who trusts. who has connections with people. who does not fear so much. (i have also become someone who cries as i drive home from work sometimes. i have also become someone who needs to sit on the floor and count all the pieces of art i can see. we move in spirals, not straight lines.)

all of this is to say, i have been quiet on here for quite a while because i have been recovering from two years (a lifetime) of some truly exhausting events, as well as letting myself find things i enjoy. when i got out of high school, i loved what i was doing academically. i had very little passion. it had been bled out of me.

i am incredibly grateful to each and every one of you. your support, even in my period of dormancy, has meant so much. my relationship with writing sometimes feels like i am fighting my double, trying to balance both my need to use writing to understand myself, and my tendencies to ruin myself in the process.

i still don't have any promises to make, because i really don't know what's next for me. but i am still here, and you all still mean something to me.

with all my love, mallow

[alternautxyz]

guys guyg uys the monkie kid soundtrack would have such a stranglehold of me if they actually released it i need the soundtrack out now

like the score is an essential part of so many of the most iconic parts of the show it adds so much emotion and gravity to the scenes

and i would honestly listen to it on its own on repeat is so good sounding with the melding of different genres of music

i know nothing about how music works but i’d really like to analyze all the the leitmotifs and sounds associated with all the characters and it would be a whole lot easier if they officially released it

anyways look at this please

tldr muisc goob pls giv eitt o us aaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[red-hemlock]

So, Uh-...

(I JUST-... I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY, HONESTLY. One day life decides to drop-kick you in the teeth, and completely piledrive your will to write into the Shadow Realm; and then the next moment you're replaying Arkham Knight on a whim, and River just RISES from the grave like a belated Halloween zombie to go: "Lol hey, you remember my blog from years ago? Git to it, dear."

I don't know how many of you fine folks are still around after all this time, or if life will allow me to be as active on here as I was in the heyday, but if you're out there and still want to write with this flaky loser... I've come back. 8'3

I still need to do some serious clean-up and updates on here tough, before I start tackling the old asks and replies in my drafts and maybe do a starter call... Some of them are makin' me emotional re-reading them, so I sure hope it's okay if we continue them!

AND THE MESSAGES. I don't deserve you guys, I sure missed y'all. <8'D <3 )

[ccbatman]

basically what tim fans say the fandom did/does to janet drake is what geoff johns did to jessica jordan. but like. in canon.

[dove-da-birb]

*fighting the urge to change writing blog aesthetic*

Control yourself Dove, you can change it once it's September

[pepprs]

god FUCKING DAMN IT i turned off automatic app updates and yet i still awake up and the stupid fucking shop button replaced my blog button. about to throw my phone out the window

[shortkidenergy]

please tumblr staff. please stop coming into my home and moving the furniture around.

[faces-in-unexpected-places]

This place looks a bit different

So was anyone going to tell me that tumblr isn't dark blue anymore, or was I just supposed to find out about it like some kinda chump?