#♡✷ big mo

[irl-dogboy]

i realized recently ive been tagging things as softstar without mentioning what softstar even is. i think. maybe. so here i am burdening you all with another pokemon yume dump once more >:-)

shut-in wet cat anxiety-ridden alolan champion x emotionally stable but still a bit anxious moral support gamer scientist

[yanderestarangel]

Could I make a request? The Lin Kuei brothers’ reaction to a surprise lap dance/strip tease.

𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐊𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒 𝐌𝐊1 | 𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐎 𝐋𝐈𝐍 𝐊𝐔𝐄𝐈 | "𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐖𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐀 𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐏 𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄/𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐏 𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄?"

TW : afab anatomy, v!sex, 69 upside down, praise, provocation, oral (f!re), sex without a condom, pet names (good boy/good girl), no pronouns used other than "you", himbo/bimbo reader.

★︎ BI HAN | SUB ZERO

♡ Bi Han would have a pleasant surprise after coming home from work tired and seeing you under the purple LED light in the room, wearing sexy and provocative clothes just for him - maybe a short skirt, tight socks up to your thighs and a thin shirt on top, bad enough to cover your breasts -he would smile under the mask, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow as he looked at the chair in the center of the penunbral room.

"-Is this a surprise for me bunny?" He said, releasing a small puff of cold air through his mouth, you could already feel his heart racing, even though he tried to control it. You told him to sit on the chair, which your husband quickly obeyed, while music played in the background.

He realized how much you had trained just to make this pleasant surprise for him, even with the cold sash, he was grateful, your sensuality and grace on his lap, teasing him and rubbing against him, was not only exciting but invigorating for him. He would enjoy your heat, the rhythm of the music in the background, your beauty, even if you told him not to touch you... Bi Han would.

His hands would go on your thighs, squeezing them, while the bulge in his pants increased, damn, he fell in love with you again... Not even he knew it would be possible. You were perfect for him, and only his.

"-Fuck you make me so hard (Y/N)... This is your fault." Bi Han whispered under sub zero's mask, pressing your ass under your skirt, over his pulsing erection, you trembled as you felt how hard he was, it was obvious he needed you, and it was just meant to be a pleasant surprise, it ended with Bi Han fucking you from behind.

Your pussy was drooling on his dick, your skirt was serving as support for Bi Han's hand, he was holding the fabric like a lever, watching your ass shake and undulate with each thrust of his, your knees hurt as you tried to support yourself on something , your feet floated brutally from the ground with each rough thrust of the taller man, moans echoed inside and outside the house, while a white trail of cum from Bi Han's dick soiled your cunt.

"-That's it... Fuck dear, take it all like a good boy/girl for me, Mmm- Fuck yes exactly like that, that's what pretty boys/girls like you deserve for pleasing me so much, I loved the surprise-" He stammered between moans, controlling himself not to cum inside you again.

"-Yes just like that, you deserve to cum until you can't take it anymore baby, and I'm going to make sure you get that." Bi Han slapped your pussy, going back to fucking you... You should really give him more lap dances sometimes.

★︎ TOMAS VRBADA | SMOKE

♡ He was at home with you that day, but he was called in a hurry to some Lin Kuei meeting, returning at night and tired. However, this tiredness would disappear as soon as he arrived and saw you in a short silk dress, showing all your curves, he could perfectly see your ass wanting to come out of the tiny cut in the fabric, making the poor ninja get a hard-on immediately.

"-Wow... Is this for me baby?" He spoke blushing, his blue eyes glued to each step you took sensually towards him, guiding the big boy to a chair in the center of the dark room, only the moonlight illuminating your body and Tomas' needy look.

The music started, along with your movements on his lap, he promised that he wouldn't touch you, only when you allowed it, but it was difficult to see you so beautiful and provocative like that and simply not beg to be able to fuck you. Your eyes met each time you turned around and rubbed yourself even more against the aching erection he had under his pants.

He would whimper so much, seeking more contact with your body. "-Can I touch you please? Please baby..." Vrbada begged, while using all his self control not to touch you and fuck you with all the strength he had at the moment. The killer didn't wait any longer when you agreed, bringing his strong hands to your waist, as he brought you closer. He would take out his throbbing cock, rubbing it against your soft folds under your dress, while he praised you, telling you how beautiful you looked like this, and totally his.

Obviously this would end with Smoke holding you with his arms, with his dick buried completely in your mouth, while he held you upside down, fucking you with his tongue, you could feel every choke in your throat due to the size of his cock, he would delight in your taste, telling you to roll like he did on his lap, only on his tongue.

"-Mmm- Oh F-Fuuck- Y-Yes baby, keep it up, roll that pussy tongue in my mouth- fucking hell my love!" Tomas moaned against your sensitive flesh, making you moan against his cock and shed tears of pleasure as you felt his cock impaling you deliciously well.

★︎ KUAI LIANG | SCORPION

♡ You two hadn't seen each other for two weeks, because he had gone on a mission to distant islands, along with the other ninjas. The longing was unbearable for both of you, especially your husband - he would get sick for not being close to you -

However, when he arrived that night and saw you in your lingerie, with an empty chair in the center, he almost went into an instant boiling state, but he controlled his powers in time. Kuai would smile at you tired and grateful for the surprise, his eyes said it all, he was longing, horny and even more in love with all your efforts for him.

"-Thank you for making an effort for me, little flower." He whispered in your ear, running his warm, calloused fingers over your lace lingerie, while you danced and moved gracefully to the rhythm of the music.

"-You're so beautiful darling... Just fucking hot." He smiled against your breasts, squeezing the soft flesh of your ass - there was no point in telling him not to touch you, this man was hungry for touch and lust -

He would just enjoy the moment, stimulating you enough, going with two fingers to the thin fabric of your panties and rubbing your clit.

"-Such a pretty and tight little slut for me, I missed it so much (Y/N) you have no idea." the pyromancer would apply enough pressure to make you wet against the fabric, a slutty smile would appear on his lips, as he moved your panties to the side, just enough to expose your wet and needy pussy for him.

Kuai Liang would make you move with your pussy on his dick exactly like you were doing on his lap, the thick and extremely hot shaft would hit every right spot inside you, while he moaned hoarsely between clenched teeth, holding the sides of your ass , watching every inch of him disappear and reappear with your every movement.

"-Yes, F-Fuck~ yes, such a good whore for me, I'm going to fill you with my seed today sweetheart, that's what you deserve for being a cute himbo/bimbo for me." The ninja spoke, slapping your ass hard, the pain mixed with pleasure in your core, it would be a long night.

©YANDERESTARANGEL 2023

[cinellieroll]

☆ random obey me headcanons!

lucifer, mammon and simeon ♡

part two (asmodeus, levi, barbatos)

part three (beelzebub, belphegor, solomon)

part four (satan and diavolo)

cw: a few spoilers ahead from the main story! also one SLIGHT nsfw on simeons part???

small note: i only started writing on tumblr now so idk much on how ppl do those line thingies on the words and then it teleports to a diff post so if anyone knows how to do it please teach me! thank you :3

☆ lucifer:

- generally has a thing for turtlenecks. if you open his closet you'll see a bunch of turtlenecks in there. lucifer is a very conservative man after all.

- speaking of closet, he definetely has a color code for his clothing. blacks, reds, navy blues, anything dark

- you'll never catch him wearing anything revealing. especially his legs. man keeps em hidden.

- has a very sensitive nose. he always scolds mammon and asmo for wearing such strong cologne. he has great sense of smell in general (the bitch can smell anything) and automatically knows when trouble is near.

- EXTREMELY petty when he doesn't get his morning coffee. if he misses a day without it an extra line will appear on his forehead.

- gifts you souvenirs when he enters the human world. claims he's here for business because diavolo told him but we all know that's not the only reason why he came up there.

- he doesn't like writing with modern pens and only settles with quills. he still has his old quill from the celestial realm and keeps it hidden somewhere.

- almost gave head pats to luke once.

- his nose is FUCKING BEAUTIFUL and his side profile too. he has a nose bump for sure and i will die on this hill.

- he's not a big fan of creamy foods like carbonara or anything with cream in general. if he's eating sweets he prefers the icing to be less flavorful. what do you expect? he's a black coffee lover after all.

☆ mammon:

- room is always a fucking mess, but he cleans when he procrastinates so if you ever enter his room and he's all quiet and cleaning just don't disturb him for a while.

- buys bootleg merch for levi for no reason. one time he found this cheap ruri chan stuffy on sale for like 150 grimm and decided to buy it.

- has fucking shit hand writing bro. sometimes it's small, sometimes it's big but most of the time it's ass balls. like why does your k and h look the same?

- he cracks his knuckles and joints often and can't go without a day doing it atleast once. it's kinda hot tbh lol

- when he's in a happy mood he'll sing in like a high pitched way. idk how to explain it but i just see him doing that especially when he's on cooking duty

- sleeps really late he could almost rival levi on it. surprisingly his eyebags aren't that visible though.

- has really pretty features like long eyelashes, plump lips and visible collarbones. eat your heart out asmo xoxo

- convinced himself he'll never ever like or listen to human world songs until he heard you blasting some music in your room. he was singing that song in his head for days on end but refused to ask you what the title was

- he's a very clumsy guy and often drops small things especially during class like his ballpen, eraser or that pack of bubblegum lucifer ended up confiscating

- before you arrived, he liked to vape or juul when he's stressed or felt lonely but now he only spends his time thinking of you when he feels down.

☆ simeon:

- when he turned into a human he had thoughts of becoming a teacher in christian education but realized it's better if he owned a cafe instead.

- he sometimes joins luke during his baking lessons with barbatos even though he already knows all the steps

- occasionally invites you for sleepovers and buys card / board games for you guys to play with solomon and luke! either he or solomon are always end up being the winners everytime though

- always and i mean ALWAYS willing to teach you something when he knows it. baking, writing, recent lessons, etc

- once the exchange program ended he started writing more and more, especially poetry. and mostly wrote about you and how much he misses you <3.

- started making diary entries after the aftermath of the celestial war.

- during quiet nights, simeon often thinks what it'd be like if he was really close with the brothers.

- his eyes are lowkey creepy sometimes when he looks at you for too long. it's like he's trying to detect every sin you've committed.

- idk why i thought of this but his teeth are literally so pearly and perfect but he doesn't really smile with them in view.

- unintentionally moans sometimes. like when he sits down after a long day you just start hearing a soft "ah~" out of nowhere..

[stclaretarot]

PICK A CARD 🐣⭒ your partner's reaction to finding out that you're pregnant...

reminder that this is a general reading and messages found here may not apply to everyone. take what resonates, leave what doesn't, and don't force anything if it does not fit.

BOOK A READING WITH ME · LINKTREE · 18+ PATREON · SUGGEST A PAC TOPIC · TIPS ♡ tips, bookings, and feedback are highly appreciated!

GROUP ONE

cards · nine of pentacles, judgement, nine of swords, the magician.

channelled songs · happiness/the gondola man by elliott smith. so good right now by fall out boy. the catch up by ambré.

hey there group one ♡ your partner will have an initial burst of excitement. they may jump up and run to you, and grab your shoulders and hug you.

they’ll start pacing around the room as they talk about all the people you need to tell next, how the nursery is going to look, all the things you need to buy.

but, the more they talk, the more real it will start to feel and the more it will start to stress them out. they’ll start to overreact. they’ll start to worry about the future, finances, and if they will even be a good parent.

you’ll have to calm your partner down and remind them that you are in this together. that no matter what, you will have each other through this whole journey of pregnancy and parenthood.

GROUP TWO

cards · ace of cups, nine of wands, six of swords, justice.

channelled songs · i’m with you by grouplove. alive by empire of the sun. all i want is you by 112.

hey there group two ♡ you and your partner may not be married when you fall pregnant, though some of you may be engaged.

your partner may be a bit traditional in this regard -- and may also take into account that you may not want to be pregnant at the wedding, and look pregnant in your wedding photos -- and so may immediately suggest getting married now. or moving the wedding date sooner, for some of you.

they seem like a methodical, logical person. so while there will be smiles and kisses and excitement, their reaction will be more practical. they may already be doing mental calculations about the cost of raising a child, and the cost of having a wedding or changing the plans around your wedding.

GROUP THREE

cards · page of wands, knight of wands, knight of swords, the hierophant.

channelled songs · war of hearts (acoustic version) by ruelle. meaning of love by nct 127. gondolier by dalida.

hey there group three ♡ your partner may already have children or a child from a previous relationship. they have already done this before, but that does not make them any less excited to be doing this for you.

they will get excited for the pregnancy itself, but they will also get excited that their other child (or children) will now have a new sibling.

your partner may have always wanted a large family and so they will feel fulfilled and will start telling you about all the things they want to do in the future, together, as a big blended family.

they may start rambling about how great it was being a first time parent, and how excited they are for you to have this experience too. and, most of all, for them to be doing this with you.

GROUP FOUR

cards · the devil (reversed), seven of wands, eight of cups, ace of swords.

channelled songs · rose parade by elliott smith. tulsa jesus freak by lana del rey. one mo’ gen by mariah carey.

hey there group four ♡ your partner may feel despondent. they may ask you if you really want to keep it, if you’re sure that pregnancy and parenthood is something you’re really for.

because that is not something that they are ready for. they may not have entered this relationship with seeing a future with you, and will be scared of what a baby could mean for their future. what it could mean for their plans. what it could mean for their dreams.

they may withdraw in that moment, and almost shut down. even if they do not say in that moment that they don’t want this baby, you will be able to tell from their body language alone.

[sh1-n0bu]

♡︎ 𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙥𝙤𝙥𝙨𝙞𝙘𝙡𝙚 ♡︎

anon asked: may i request sub xiao with small dick but you keep teasing him?

characters: sub!xiao x nb!dom!reader

warnings: overstimulation, a mix of praises and degrading, dacryphillia, dumbification, feminization

notes: yes yeeess YEEEEESSSS!! finally someone gets it!!! xiao has a small dick and you can’t change my mind!!! also i went with head cannons format for this one, i hope it’s okay anon😚♥️

third repost bc tumblr can’t stop me

first of yes yes yes xiao has a small dick and it’s fucking cute

at first he would be incredibly worried because what if you don’t like his small cock? what if he can’t meet your expectations??

but you reassured him that it was okay and you just love him regardless of it

it’s so small and cute you don’t even have to move your hands

just wrapping your big, warm, calloused hand around his little cocklet would have him throwing his head back, mewling and blubbering about some drunken shit♡︎

“unngyaa~! b-big! big big! y-your handd~ too big! gYAANN!”

like i said before he would get overstimulated very very easily very quick without you even trying

his cock is so cute and small, it would barely hit the back of your throat

so completely swallow his cock and just lazily twirl your tongue over the tip, it would have him thrashing around, hands scrambling to grab anything anything! to at least get his mind back together

“HAAAH! h-hottt~ [name]! your mo-ownng! mouth shoo hot! annh~ hwaAA! C-CUM! CUMING! CUMINGCUMINGCUMING-!!”

easily becomes a pleasure-drunk, blabbering, sobbing mess

he’s just so kfjwkjdjdnd

saying his sweet little popsicle can’t fill you up, how it’s so adorable when it twitches, how you could just suck on them all day like it’s an actual sweet will have him sobbing either from his fucked up brain too slow to comprehend anything or how he just feels so good he doesn’t know if he should thank you or say how mean you are

today was your birthday, as mortals calls it, but it seemed like you yourself forgot about it. so it means the responsibility to gift you a happy birthday gift you would surely enjoy was up to your sweet loving boyfriend! hut the problem was, xiao sucks at choosing gifts. so he asked around from the people closest to him.

zhongli suggested that mortals seemed to enjoy home-made food from their loved ones is greatly cherished, sadly the yaksha cant cook for the life of him.

ganyu recommended a flower bouquet of all the local specialties of liyue but he always brings you a flower back from his nightly duties.

the traveler and paimon said a birthday cake and a song is a traditional gift and a common practiced ritual but where would the adepti buy the cake? it also was another minus point that he can’t socialize.

verr however said something he knows you’ll absolutely enjoy would be the best gift. something that makes you perk up with sparkles in your eyes. and the very first thing that popped into xiao’s mind was an interesting idea.

stepping into the small nest/room that belongs to you and your lovely yaksha, this was definitely not what you were expecting but still a welcome gift.

sitting on your shared pile of fluffy pillows and blankets was the ethereal adepti, with only a cute lingerie. a soft blush pink bra that only seemed to highlight his pink nipples more, a lace see through tiny panties that barely covered his cocklet and a cute cat ears.

“uhmm h-happy birthday, love” shyly spreading his legs apart for you to admire him in all his glory, xiao looked away with his face blooming in colors.

“well, thank you for the food and the gift” diving in to capture his lips in a hungry kiss, this was definitely the best gift you ever had.

sucking dark hickies on his chest, setting him on your lap and making him move back and forth, kissing him until he can’t even breath - all of this has been going on for a long enough time yet you still haven’t touched him!

“nngh [name] please? p-pleaseee touch my-my cok too!” xiao was on the verge of crying. whenever you two would make love, you always satisfy him but you weren’t budging to any of his pleas tonight.

“hmm? but i’m the birthday boss right? so i can do whatever i want right, xiao?” tapping his angry red tip you feigned innocence. it wasn’t fair! he just wanted to feel good!

“p-please? pretty please? touch m-my cock too?” guiding your fingers to run up and down on his cocklet, the pretty yaksha started whining helplessly.

chuckling at his desperation you guessed you could be a bit nicer. by nicer you meant only kissing his pathetic dick through the panties until it got completely wet and ruined.

“noooo! no no no no! [name]~ please? pretty p-please? i’ll be-i’ll be good. please… sniff” now he was crying. well you supposed you were cruel to him far too long. taking his whole length into your mouth, you lazily started to suck on the yakshas cock. he was so cute, trashing his legs all around the place, clawing at the sheets, a jumbled mess of “thank you”-s and “s-shoo good! sho good! sogoodsogood♡︎♡︎”-s tumbling out of his mouth. soon enough he came with a loud squeal but you only continued to suck on his precious tiny cock.

“nyaah! nooo~ i-i came! i awll-HYAAAGK~ [name]~! c-cum! cum! gUUHH~!” slurring on his words, it seems like your sweet xiao was fucked stupid.

[daengtokki]

serial killer!Kim Seungmin/afab reader

WC: 10.6k

RATING: mature/explicit/mdni—contains: angst, sex, self harm mention, abuse mention, medication usage, hallucinations

SYNOPSIS: you walk into Seungmin’s life, and disrupt everything (part 4/?)

˗ˋˏ♡ 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚐/𝚝𝚊𝚐 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚙 𝚖𝚢 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚑 𝚊 𝚠𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚞𝚍𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎. 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚜!

PARTS 1 — 3

seungmin-ah! mo! haha…come here, you know you’re in trouble!

whyyy? I didn’t do anything umma

are you sure? let’s go look at what you didn’t do…let’s go look at that empty plate, sweetheart

I didn’t eat those cakes

oh? did daengmo eat them? I know he has a sweet tooth, just like you…

His eyes open slowly. Everything is a blur as Seungmin tries to look around him, but it’s so dark. He blinks, and a tear runs to the corner of his eye. The first thing he latches onto, the closest thing, is your arm. His fingers close gently around your wrist as he finds himself.

Min?

He lets go and pulls at the collar of his shirt in an attempt to wipe his face dry.

“Seungmin…it’s okay.” You grab his hand and wait for him to look at you. Eyes still wet with tears, he lays back down and stares at the ceiling. “Just a nightmare, you’re okay now.”

“Not a nightmare.” Seungmin breathes deep, and his eyes dart back and forth in the dark as he remembers. “Just a memory, I think.”

The bedroom is cold. Outside, it’s abnormally cold. You feel a shiver move through him as you run your hand up and down his forearm—there’s another blanket in the chest, but first, you have to brave the icy floor to get it. “Be right back.” You slide out from under the covers and wince when your feet hit the hardwood and tiptoe the rest of the way there.

“What are you doing out there?”

You swing the creaky lid open and dig around for the heaviest one you can find. “I want that flannel blanket…oh, this one.” The lid comes down faster and heavier than you intend, and the sound feels unimaginably loud cutting through the middle-of-the-night silence. “Sorry…” The music box lets a note free, and then another. You look up at it, and the lid is propped open. Seungmin must have been in there, you think. There are a few dried flowers scattered inside and around it when you gently close it.

“It’s okay,” Seungmin says, and you can see his smile as your eyes adjust to the darkness. When you jump back in, he holds the covers open to show you exactly where he wants you. His body is warm, but the goosebumps are still all over his arms.

“January is awful”

“You told me you liked winter”

“I like this,” you squeeze him and push your face into his chest. “Tell me about your dream.”

The soft sounds of a guitar wake you. G chord, C, G, D—whatever it is, it’s simple…and it’s nice. You wait and listen for a few minutes as the music builds, hoping you might finally hear him sing. Seungmin keeps you on edge, though. He stops, so you roll over and look at him.

“Finally,” he sets the guitar back on its stand.

“Finally what?”

“You looked so comfortable over there, I was getting jealous”

“Oh, you couldn’t get back to sleep?”

Seungmin stands and stretches. His sweatpants hang low on his hips, and his sweatshirt is pulled up just enough for you to catch his belly button, until he tugs at the hem, “I did for a little while.”

You pull the covers down, “so get back in.”

“It’s noon”

“Then sing something for me, don’t you think I’ve suffered enough?”

A month living under his roof, and making him laugh is still a treat. It’s not quite as rare as it used to be, but Seungmin still has his days, his nights, and his moments of uneasiness and agitation in your shared space.

~

“How long have you lived in this big apartment all by yourself?” You asked him a few weeks ago. There never seems to be a good time for most of these little questions, so you force them in whenever you can, and whenever you remember. Whenever you think he might answer them.

“Almost five years, I was nineteen when I moved in”

“That answers another burning question.” Do you tell him now that you’re older than him, or wait until he asks? You doubt he’ll care. “All alone, no other roommates?”

He gives you a look and raises an eyebrow. “Is that what you are? My roommate?”

“I’m not not your roommate”

“Do I make you feel like my roommate?”

It’s a sweet, introspective question for him. Seungmin doesn’t talk very much, but when you get him going, he’s good at keeping up. Sometimes, you do feel like his roommate, because some nights he falls asleep on the couch, and sometimes you do the same, depending on where his head has been that day. There have been days when Seungmin hasn’t spoken a single word to you.

~

“Is that a no?” His face says a lot, but it doesn’t answer your question, “no song for me?”

The bottom of his sweatshirt is suddenly very interesting. He pulls it more and squeezes the fabric in his fist as he tries to avoid your gaze. “Uhm…I’ve never sung for anyone before. I wouldn’t know what to sing anyway. I don’t know what you’d want to hear.”

The shyness might be an act, but it’s cute, and you like it. “You can sing me the alphabet, I don’t care. A nursery rhyme. Your favorite song.” Seungmin’s face turns so red, that you almost change the subject completely. Pushing him has gotten easier, but you’re still careful. You resist the urge to ask if his mother sang him anything as a child, considering last night's dream, and the tears he tried to hide.

“I’ll think about it, my favorite…and maybe I will tonight”

“Really?”

He nods, and his phone starts to vibrate somewhere on the bed. You can feel it, and just as you shove your hand beneath his pillow, Seungmin’s slips under, too, and he gets there first.

Annyeonghaseyo, he says quietly and walks toward the balcony window.

You’ve continued your language classes because you have no job and nothing else to fill your time. Any reason to get out of the house and give him his space is welcome, even if it is only three days a week. You’re no good yet, but the point is, you notice he answered formally, and very unlike how he typically sounds, and you’re curious. He very rarely speaks to anyone on the phone.

When he hangs up, he keeps his gaze down toward his phone and types something, and then he sighs one of his sighs—a little exaggerated, and very him. You love his sighs because it’s one of the few signals he gives you when something is bothering him.

“Did you eat breakfast, are you hungry?” Seungmin never asks anything of you; he likes to cook, and he seems to be naturally tidy. He never makes messes…well, usually. “I can make us something…American.” You head toward his keyboard and run a finger over it. It’s off, so you press one of the keys.

“American? Steak and eggs and potatoes?” He’s still distracted by something on his phone, but he must be hungry. He knows what he wants.

“Yeah, I just need to go get some steak”

“Can you? I have to…uh,” he scratches his head. “I have something I need to do.” He sees your face change. “Not that, something else.”

“Yeah, of course.” Something to do with his phone call, and whatever he’s been doing on the phone, you assume. You'll find out later, hopefully.

The bus is crowded, but he braves it. Sometimes he likes to be a little more anonymous, and this is the best way to do that. The office building is only a dozen or so blocks away from his building, but it’s too cold for a long walk.

“Do you have an appointment?” The woman behind the desk doesn’t pay much attention to Seungmin until his soft yes, I do hits her ears. The look she gives him turns bashful and flirtatious, but it doesn’t do much for him. “Your name?”

“Kim Seung Min”

“Date of birth?”

“September twenty-second…two-thousand”

“Oh here you are, it was just added…Dr…oh, Dr. Mun”

There’s only one doctor in this building who specializes in what Seungmin needs, and the receptionist has no tact when she realizes it. She avoids his gaze as she finishes typing and granting him access. “Ninth—“

“I know where it is”

/ / /

“Seungmin, how have you been?” Her heels click as she walks across the dark wood floor, and it’s a little hypnotizing. “Can I still call you Seungmin, or should we go back to formal? It’s been quite a while.”

The click click stops when she sits, but returns with the slightly more annoying sound of the pen. It’s weird being back in this room, but it feels familiar still—the smell, the lights, the colors. “Seungmin is fine. I don’t like being spoken to formally.”

“Yes, I do remember that now. Please, tell me how things have been. I know I’m not your usual therapist, but you haven’t gone to a session with him in over a year, so…”

“It wasn’t helping”

“I know you feel-“

“It wasn’t. Every session made me feel worse, and he had no sympathy for anything I managed to dig up.”

“Okay. Have you been back home lately?”

His heart races, and it’s too warm in here. Seungmin slides out of his jacket and pulls at the sleeves of his sweatshirt. “Last month.”

“How was it, did you…want to talk about any of that? Was she there for you still?”

He manages a nod. She’s always there. She’s everywhere, but there…that’s where she truly is.

“Not to switch subjects so quickly, but…” she says as her eyes travel over him, “what happened here?” Dr. Mun taps her pen to her neck, “I only ask because it looks very painful.”

The bruise you gave him two nights ago; the one he begged you for, even as you squeezed to the point of him nearly passing out. It’s probably at its worst right now. You’re stronger than you look. He sets his hand over it, pushes a little, and savors the pain still there.

“And because I know you’ve hurt yourself in the past. Is that was this is?”

It might be easier to lie and tell her he did it to himself, because talking about you wasn’t supposed to be part of this today. He’s only here because she threatened to hold the medication he actually uses. Seungmin shakes his head, though.

“Someone else did it?”

He nods.

“Because you asked them to, I assume? Do you trust this person?”

Does he trust you? He must. You share a bed, and you’re feet away from his knife. He took you home with him and let you listen in as he spoke to someone you couldn’t see, and you haven’t questioned him about it. Seungmin begs you to bite and cut and choke him, which you do, and all of your time in between is spent waiting and longing for something more. He knows that.

“Yes, I do”

“As long as I’ve been your doctor, three years, you’ve been by yourself…single. Is that no longer the case?” She tries to read his facial cues and his fidgeting hands. “Maybe it’s nothing serious, hm? Just casual? That’s also good, because you’re letting someone in, even in some small way. You trust someone besides yourself. That’s great, considering you haven’t been keeping up with your medication.”

“So I don’t need it”

“One good step doesn’t make everything better. I’m glad you came and saw me at such short notice, and I know you want the lorazepam to help you sleep, but I would also like your word that you’ll try the Haldol. I’ll write your new prescription, but please…just give it some time.

Hopefully, the smell of a very late breakfast brightens him up, because Seungmin didn’t seem happy when he left earlier. One thing he seems to respond to when nothing else works is food.

He walks in wordlessly, takes off his jacket, and tosses it on the couch. There’s no change in his facial expression. It’s as if he left, and then walked right back in. But he doesn’t look more upset, thankfully; just blank. He’s feeling nothing, or trying his best to look like he’s feeling nothing.

“Hey…Min.” You look at the paper bag clutched in his hand, and it’s easy to figure out what could be inside. You came back a little bit ago with the same one. “Foods all ready.”

The smile isn’t forced, “okay,” but it’s not easy, either. “I’ll be right back out.”

Seungmin doesn’t close the door, so you try to peek in from where you stand. All you can see is the bed, but you do hear the rustle of his bag, and the subtle sound of full pill bottles as he sets them on his table. So if you have any deduction skills at all—the phone call was from his doctor, or his therapist, or something along those lines. The hour and a half he was gone was spent with one of them, and then he stopped at the pharmacy a block down the street for his prescriptions. Easy enough. You hope he’ll feel comfortable enough to tell you all of this on his own.

Before he comes out, you hear the pop of a lid, and the shake of one of the bottles against his hand. When he comes back out, he takes the coffee you hold out for him and swallows one, or both, of his pills.

“It smells good,” he says, and he stays there. Seungmin stares at you.

“Good. Are you alright?” You try not to stare back, but each time you look up, he’s still looking. “Did you do what you had to do?”

“I did”

“Did I do that?” The bruise on the side of his neck pops out at you. It’s big and dark against the white of his shirt collar. Seungmin doesn’t move when you reach out and touch it. “Does it still hurt?”

“Yes, and yes.” He sets his hand over yours and rubs it against the spot. “It feels good.”

“Seungmin?”

He stops but keeps his hand on yours. The doctor’s words are ringing through his head as he watches your eyes dart back and forth between his. How much does he actually trust you? How far has he let you in, and how much has he given of himself? Too much? Enough to keep you here? “Yeah?” You don’t ask him a lot of personal questions.

What if you did ask him about his appointment? Would it be that bad? If he took his medication like you assume he just did a moment ago, broaching the subject should be even easier. That’s not the only subject you need to broach with him, though.

“Did you have a doctor’s appointment?

His eyes answer you before you hear the soft mhm.

“How did it go?” At any moment you expect him to let go of your hand and retreat, but he doesn’t.

“It was okay. Uhm…that medicine makes me very tired, so if I fall asleep, I’m sorry.”

“Oh, you can sleep all day if you need to. But eat something first.”

/ / /

The space between wakefulness and sleep is much too big. Seungmin is stuck in it—he knows that...he feels it. Like twilight in the backyard after a hot summer day. You turned the heat up a little, but you also laid the blanket over him and pulled it up past his bruised neck.

It feels good; the soft warmth of the couch, and the silky pillow under his head. And he can see you from here, moving back and forth in his vision, disappearing and reappearing as you…well, he’s not sure what you’re doing. He likes watching you, though.

“Hey, you’ve been out for a while”

Your voice floats to him, and it takes an extra moment before he grasps what you say. Seungmin nods.

“There’s some water here if you need it”

He opens his eyes fully and looks at your smiling face. Why are you so happy? No, not happy. Smiling, yes, but your eyes give you away. “Thank you.” Seungmin feels your lips on his temple, then on his cheek. Why? There’s nothing here worth loving. He’s just an empty shell. “Thank you.”

“You’ll feel better soon. Close your eyes and sleep a little more.”

Thankfully, he does.

It’s completely dark when he wakes again, and so quiet that it puts him into a sudden panic. He’s still asleep, and he’s back in his nightmare. His heart races, and he can practically smell the dirt…until he realizes he’s not alone. Seungmin moves his leg, and his foot slides over your thigh. You’re here…asleep, curled up in the small space he left at the end of the couch. He moves his foot over you again, hoping to wake you, and it works.

You close your hand around his ankle, “hey sleepyhead…”

“What time is it?”

“Good question,” you tap your phone screen and squint at it. “Just after midnight.”

“Fuck, I slept all day?”

He did, and while he slept, you checked to see if he was still on the same medication, the same dosage. Haldol and Xanax. Seungmin took one of each earlier, and his body never stood a chance against it. You also took care of your own problems while he was out, and finally getting it out of the way calmed you a little.

“You just have to adjust, that’s all…yeah?”

Seungmin still feels like he’s floating. He sits up more, and looks at you. It's too dark, and he can't see you very well, so he moves closer. “It won’t fix me.”

“No, you’re not broken." You don't know if Seungmin knows you know exactly what he's taking, but he's smart enough to realize you're going to look around any chance you get, because he did it to you with your backpack. Both of you, quiet, tiptoeing around each other to find answers instead of asking.

"No?" He moves closer still, and practically puts himself in your lap.

/ / /

Something sweet…you said, walking to each corner of the kitchen and collecting things. He needs something sweet to eat, that will make him feel better. The smell of cinnamon and apples made it to him as he showered, and that alone did make him feel a little better.

“It hasn’t been back lately, but…” he looks at the perfect baked apple in front of him and cuts it in half.

“What hasn’t?”

“The noise, the itch. It’s been a while.”

“Is that bad?” You noticed, of course, that he hasn’t left the house lately with the urge to find someone. He hasn’t come home with anyone. The idea that you somehow changed something in him hasn’t crossed your mind, because it’s silly—what you have done, maybe, is filled up those spaces in his mind that were once left to their own devices. Seungmin has already told you he’s been here, alone, for years, and that the company he��s kept has never lasted beyond the hour they arrived. "Or is that good?"

“I’m worried it’ll come back, and be worse”

“Has that happened before? Has it gone away, and built up to something bigger?”

Seungmin takes a big bite of his apple, and the taste hitting his tongue makes him smile. Yes, it has happened, but he was a teenager then, and he lacked self-control. It’s not something he wants to think about, or talk about right now. But he nods. “This is very good, thank you.”

“We’ll deal with it when the time comes, if it does”

Will you? It seemed sincere, the way you said it, and the way you looked at him.

we’ll deal with it

we

we?

Too much sleep is weighing on him now. Seungmin felt so tired as he ate the dessert you made for dinner, and while he struggled to brush his teeth. Now the sleep eludes him—but he’s comfortable, at least. You bought new flannel sheets, and new pillows, so the bed hasn’t felt this soft and warm in a long time. And you, you’re sound asleep a few inches away, content. Seungmin likes to stare, discreetly if he can manage, and so often he’s spent far too long watching you. He doesn’t do it while you sleep. This morning, he got right up and went about his day, not concerning himself with how late you stayed in bed. Not until he got bored. You’re usually up before him, so he missed a perfect opportunity to look at you without worrying about getting caught and making you uncomfortable.

The first time he saw you on the street, he did think you were pretty. He doesn’t typically interact with foreigners, or tourists, despite speaking English fluently, but seeing you changed that. Seungmin still can’t figure out why. Maybe if he bothered to ask a single thing about you, he could figure something out. Where are you from, and why are you still here after weeks of sometimes being paid attention to? Today, despite him sleeping for nearly all of it, was probably good for you.

Seungmin drops his gaze when you shift. Your hand slides up the sheet and stops just short of his. He watches it for a moment…and his pinky twitches. You never have trouble sleeping next to him, even though he nearly killed you. That night still lives at the front of his memory, and it replays over and over sometimes. It’s replaying for him right now, because you looked just like this—like you were sleeping.

He moves a little closer, and his hand slides over yours. You groan, but your eyes remain closed. Seungmin says your name, softly, because he isn’t sure he wants you to hear, but…he wants you awake with him. One more whisper, and he sees your lashes shift as your eyes start to move.

“Seungmin?” Before you even look around, you call for him. “Did you say my name?”

“Maybe”

“Maybe?”

Your sleepy laugh makes his stomach flutter, and he almost turns away. He has to force himself to stay put.

“What’s wrong? Is everything okay?”

The warmth of your hand on his cheek sets his stomach in motion again, and he doesn’t like the feeling. It’s too much. Seungmin closes his eyes when you don’t take yours off of him. Touching comes easy for you, but you don’t do it often—Seungmin wonders if that's his fault...if his distance keeps you away. You mean it when you do touch him, though, like right now. Like when you wake up tangled together, as if your unconscious bodies can’t stay separated.

“Can’t sleep? That makes sense. What time is it?”

“Four o’clock”

“We could go for a walk”

“It’s freezing out”

“We could… go to that all-night cafe and try all the cakes”

“That’s tempting, but…” the flutter in his stomach turns to butterflies as he reaches out for you. “The bed is nice and warm,” he moves closer, close enough to tuck himself against you and fill himself up with your scent. You still smell the same as you did before; that deep, dark floral scent—flowers that only bloom when the sun goes down. Moonflowers, and night phlox. He wants to tell you that. Seungmin wants to tell you he gave you the wrong flowers, and that he needs to find you the right ones.

“We can stay up. I’ll stay awake with you.”

“You will?”

“I’ll try my best”

Seungmin looks up at you, and his eyes make you feel like you’re melting. He pulls back just enough to still share your pillow. “Do you really not want to go back home?” He knows it’s a heavy question, but how else can he start?

“Do you want me to?”

He watches as the color drains from your face. “No…did I word that wrong? No, I don’t want that.”

“Then no, I don’t want to go back home. I promise you, I don't.”

“Where is home? Was…where was home?”

“A town called Point Pleasant”

“Pleasant?” He smiles. “Point Pleasant.”

“Yeah, Uljin reminded me of it, a little. The woods, and the feeling it gave me.”

“Why did you leave? I know you told me before, when we had lunch…is that the only reason?” You close your eyes and think, and Seungmin watches every tiny movement of your face. “Maybe it is, I’m sorry.”

“No, it wasn’t”

“We don’t have to talk about it”

“There was no ex, but I was trying to get away from...uhm, everyone else. I lied to you."

“Why did you lie?” Seungmin whispers, because he can feel something change in the way you speak. You sound on the brink of tears, but you’re also hiding from him. "You can tell me, it's okay."

“I lied about my job, and about needing help getting home. I lied about how long I've been in Seoul. I wanted to seem more interesting, more helpless than I was. You seemed hard to impress, and I didn’t know why someone as good-looking as you was even talking to me. I still don’t.”

“You don’t?”

You shake your head.

“I should be the only one wondering that.” He can’t bring himself to ask why you had to run from everyone, and why running to him turned into your solution. He doesn't care about your lies, though. His whole life is built on lying to himself and to everyone else. “Close your eyes. Sleep."

“No, I’ll stay up”

“Close your eyes, I’ll be right behind you.”

/ / /

he is right behind you. and he’s fast, so much faster. the unbearable sound of mud underfoot as you slip and try desperately to gain some purchase, but you don’t know this ground like he does…and it’s dark but it’s midday, you think. you don’t dare look behind you, though, because he’ll be there when you do. free of the pine trees, at least, and there’s some light trying desperately to get through the clouds. the only thing standing is the shed. barely standing. it’s quiet. he stopped. maybe he turned back. but you have to hide. the shed is the only place.

the inside is somehow worse. everything is visible through the cracks in the wooden slats, so you watch the woods. the mud grabs your boots, and you’re pulled in even more as you try to move. a twig snaps, a cloud of warm breath sneaks past your ear. you can smell it.

seungmin? your voice is shaky. he likes how scared you are.

another breath tickles your ear, so you decide to look. you should at least face him when he jumps, right?

you turn, slowly, and move your eyes up a long white snout until you find them…two black eyes, shiny and sad, ready to swallow you up. a growl from his chest, and then every sharp tooth is out.

no, you promised

“Hey…hey, relax”

The voice comes from the big white dog, or seems to.

“Please, it’s me…open your eyes”

Something wet on your neck, your throat. Breath? No, warm lips. Why hasn’t he ripped you apart, what is he waiting for?

“I know, you’re stuck…it’s okay”

Finally, something shifts and you finally open your eyes. Two big black ones stare back at you, unblinking.

“No! Don’t touch me!”

Seungmin releases his grip on your wrist and backs away. “I’m sorry…I’m sorry. You’re okay now. You were dreaming.”

You pull yourself up against the pillows, bringing the blankets with you as you fold yourself up. The collar of your shirt is soaked through with sweat, and you swear you can smell the fear coming off of you. Seungmin keeps his distance, but his eyes never leave you—they take in every movement as you fidget and pull yourself even tighter together.

“…just a bad dream. Really bad. You were, uh—“

“I was what?” You look around the room, and try to gauge the time by the amount of light coming in. It’s still early in the morning, you think. A few hours ago you were awake and talking with him.

“You said my name, and you were crying. Did I hurt you?”

“No.” But he was going to. “I’m not sure.”

“Maybe you can tell me about it later, when it doesn’t feel so real anymore”

“Yeah”

Seungmin wants to assure you that he won’t hurt you, but he’s not certain how to tell you again. He doesn’t blame you for being afraid, though, even after everything. “You said…no, you promised. Were you saying that to me?”

You don’t answer.

“I’ll go make coffee”

He pulls the door closed and leaves you alone with your thoughts, but you don’t want this quiet, either. Maybe he’ll come back if you call for him. No, he’ll absolutely come back if you call for him.

But you don’t. You look around the sun-filled room like you’re searching for a clue. Everything is the same as it’s been for weeks, and he’s the same, so why is your head suddenly betraying you? You stand on sore, shaky legs and feel yourself floating toward the door. Seungmin’s back is to you at the kitchen counter, white tshirt hanging loosely on his shoulders. The sun is bright in here, too, and you can practically see through him as he moves around like water. He stretches and rolls his neck, lifts his shirt, and you’re hypnotized by the sight of his back, the paleness of his winter skin as he pulls it over his head. Seungmin shakes the hair from his face as he turns, and he catches you there, peeking from the open doorway.

“Hi.” He holds his shirt against his torso as you examine him, as if he has something to hide. His faded orange bangs fall right back in his face. The dark roots have grown out significantly in such a short time, but he hasn’t been out much, and he hasn’t had a reason to change anything.

“I can trim your hair for you, if you’d like”

/ / /

It’s a little awkward at first, setting him down and running your fingers through his damp hair, both of you staring at each other in the bathroom mirror. You insisted on the conditioning treatment, mostly so you could wet him down in the bathtub, run it through his hair, and touch him a little more than you have lately. He smirked the entire time, probably feeling overwhelmed by the intimacy.

“Are you feeling better?” He asks the mirrored version of you. “I know how dreams can mess with your head.”

“A little.” You snip a few times, comb through it, snip again. “I’ll be okay.”

“Have you done this before?”

“I used to cut my own, and my sisters. It’s been a while, though.”

“Why did you do your own hair?”

“Haircuts were expensive”

He nods, not needing any more explanation than that, and he lets you continue cutting. “It was me, in your dream?”

“I think so. I mean, my dream self thought it was you.” Seungmin is confused, you can see that. “I’m sorry, I don’t know how to explain it.”

“That’s okay, I doubt I could explain mine either.” He watches his hair fall on the white tile, piece by piece. “Even though they’re always the same.”

“Mine are never quite the same, except for the…except for the shed. And the mud. The smell.”

Seungmin looks up at you before your next cut. “The what?”

You think as you tousle his hair, and find a few more spots to trim in the back.

“The smell. Do you smell things in your dreams? It’s always wet and gross, like decay. Sometimes it stays stuck in my nose even after I wake up.”

“Shed?”

“Yeah, yeah…I think so. It was this time, for sure. I’m usually already inside when the dream starts, looking out. This time I ran inside to hide.”

“From me?”

“Sort of”

“Sort of? Either it was me or it wasn’t.”

His words come out sharp, and it goes right through you. It reminds you of the big, impatient voice he used on his last victim.

“I’m finished”

You toss the scissors in the sink and leave him there. Seungmin doesn’t speak up again before you gently close the door, and he doesn’t come out right away. Cleaning up, you assume, and then you hear him in the shower. He takes his time.

The television isn’t typically on, but this morning, you need the noise to drown out the leftover scenes playing in your head. It’s still too vivid. You turn on the news, and pretend you can understand what they’re saying. The isolated feeling doesn’t always bother you—sometimes it creeps up, and you remember everything here is foreign except for a few of your classmates, and Seungmin. If you think about it too much…

The story on the news changes, and you focus on it. Korean or not, you can figure out what’s going on; what they’re talking about, and what the footage appears to be showing. It’s a crime scene. A body was found.

Seungmin finally emerges from the bathroom, and when you glance up at him, he looks a little dejected. He combs his fingers through his damp hair, and his bangs hit just above his eyebrows. Maybe you cut it a little too short.

He opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out.

“Is that your body?”

“My what?”

“On the news. Is that where you dumped it?”

Seungmin turns and looks at the screen, but you can’t tell by his reaction if it’s a yes or a no. He just stares quietly, listening to every word. Eventually, he looks at you. “It’s fine. This has happened before.”

Your stomach drops. “It has? What if someone saw you?“

“Nobody saw me. You don’t have to worry, I promise.”

But you will worry. "I should dye your hair back to black." What if something happens, and you lose him? After all you’ve been through in the last few weeks…how much closer you’ve managed to get—which isn't very close, you admit. You can’t. “And I will worry. I’m not losing you.”

“Lose me?”

“I can’t”

He plays with his hair again, messes it up, and then takes a few steps toward the couch. It feels short, but it looked nice in the mirror. He’s not really worried about it. He still hasn’t felt any urges to go out and find someone, so he has no reason to look good for anyone, anyway—just you. The subject on the news changes, and you seem to relax. You look up at him and force a smile.

Seungmin sits, leaving some space between you, and he keeps his hands tucked between his thighs. “I didn't mean to snap at you.”

“Why did you? We were only talking about my dream.”

Because I’m an asshole he thinks. An impatient, insensitive pick who doesn’t deserve your kindness. Because I have has one true setting, and it’s self-sabotage. “They’re the same as mine.” He shuts his mind up and says. “Parts of them, at least. We’re dreaming of the same place, I think.”

“The shed?”

“Yes, the shed. The one next to the greenhouse.”

How did you fail to notice that? How did you not put that together? You saw it with your own eyes after seeing it several times in your head. You ran to it this morning, and looked out through the cracks in the wood. The smell. The mud you sunk into. That was the first time you were there—when you were dead on Seungmin’s bed.

“The nightmares you always have, it’s the shed?”

“Sometimes. Depends on which part of the nightmare I’m on. It replays in my mind like a movie; I’ll get some pieces one night, and then another piece the next, or a few nights later.”

“It’s always the same?”

“Little details change. And it’s not always in order, because my memory isn’t perfect, I guess.”

You see his fingers twitch, and you don’t resist the urge to reach for his hand. Seungmin squeezes yours back.

“You’re reliving a memory?”

“Yes, over and over. The worst memory. It always feels new in my head.” Saying it loud feels like a dream in itself. Having someone actually listen, and seem concerned. Having someone share in the dread that place gives him.

Do you just not remember him telling you about the shed before? He’s mentioned his nightmares, but you don’t remember him giving out any details, and when he talks in his sleep, you don’t understand him. Try as you might, you can’t actually read Seungmin’s mind.

“But it never comes together”

Do you change the subject, or assume he wants to talk about it? He looks on the verge of tears—angry ones, and you don’t want him walking through his nightmare while he’s awake. "Can I have a kiss?”

It’s been a while. Seungmin isn’t a goodnight or good morning kisser. He doesn’t sneak up behind you and peck your cheek (though sometimes, he does it when he thinks you're asleep). You have to wait for sex to get his needy, vehement mouth. That, or you have to take them yourself. You’ve only done that twice, and the first time, you had a knife to his throat.

He leans in and stops short, licks his lips…his eyes still shine with what he’s holding back…and gives you one long kiss before pulling back enough to look at you. “Just one?”

You take the second one, and Seungmin touches you. He pulls you closer, leans back against the couch, and gives you space to straddle his thighs. A kiss will almost always turn into this if you let it. Usually you do, because you want it, but not making another move right now is taking all of your energy. Still, you touch his stomach and side until his muscles twitch and tighten.

“What’s wrong?” He whispers.

“Wrong? Nothing…nothing is wrong.”

Seungmin holds you steady as he sits up again, and he places another soft kiss on your lips. “I should go take my pill.”

/ / /

The Haldol hits him again, and just like yesterday, he’s stuck and wandering around his head. You’ll adjust, you told him. He hopes you’re right because he’s never done this more than two days in a row. This isn’t how he wants to feel. But you’re here now, leaning against his shoulder, talking softly about something. What if he just told you how much having you with him right now means to him? It would get stuck in his throat, no doubt, but he could at least try.

He stops thinking for a moment, and listens.

Is there a dog in your dreams? Was there ever?

No he thinks he says… no, there was never a dog

A big white dog

No, no…he wouldn’t let me have a dog

Something runs across the room, but he only catches it in his peripheral vision. Just a shadow, bouncing on four legs…

What was that? he tries to stand, but he only makes it to the edge of the couch. Seungmin looks down at his bare feet against the gray carpet…scrunches his toes, and moves his feet against the soft fibers.

What is it? Do you want me to get you something…sweetheart

Sweetheart? Me? He sees it again. It moves slowly across the room, stops, and looks at him down its long black nose. Where did you come from?

Who? Who are you talking to? Seungmin…

He follows it around the kitchen counter, but there’s nothing there. Nothing beneath the bar. Seungmin opens the counter and looks inside, pulls out the trash can and sends it to floor.

“Seungmin, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” He presses his palm to his forehead and sighs, “I don’t know.” He turns and looks at the mess he made, and kneels to clean it.

“I can clean that up, go sit down”

“I’m fine, I’m—“ You hear him sigh again. “What is this?” He reaches for something you can’t see, and then slowly gets back to his feet.

“What?” Your heart beats wildly as he turns, and you can see what he has in his hand. It was stupid of you to not tell him about it before, and you know that—you tried to wait for a good time, and the time never came. “I was going to talk to you about it…I should have told you.”

“Are you?” He looks at you, then back down to the little pink box in his hands. "Are you pregnant?"

“No, it was negative. I would have told you right away if it came back positive.”

“Negative? Why did you think you were?”

“I felt off." Tired, sick, sad...even when you open your eyes and see him in front of you. "I didn‘t know what else it could have been.”

“Do you still feel…off?”

You do, but you don’t want him to have that on his mind. Realizing you’ve been sharing dreams, one of his bodies being found, and now Seungmin seeing things in the kitchen is already too much for one day. “I’m alright...just tired.”

He’s still staring at the crumpled box in his hands, and you can tell he’s thinking, wondering, forming a question. His face gives him away—another one of his few tells. “When did you take it?”

“Yesterday, while you were asleep”

“Maybe you should take another, just to be sure”

The second test is negative. You knew it would be, because you’re starting to realize the off feeling started when you went home with him, driving through the woods, stepping foot on the ground where the shed and the greenhouse sit. You can’t explain why, and it doesn’t make logical sense, but it’s all you have for now. And the shared dreams. You’re starting to wonder exactly what happens in Seungmin’s dream. His worst memory.

He’s been standing just inside the bathroom door, watching you sit on the edge of the bathtub. You hope he doesn’t think you’re lying to him about the first result, but why else would he hover like this? Seungmin doesn’t seem the type to wait breathlessly for a different outcome. Nothing about him makes you think he wants to be a father.

But you don’t know, and you can’t assume there isn’t something inside of him that wants that. You doubt yourself more than anything. Not just doubt, you know you have no business being a mother.

You walk to the edge of the sink, but he gets there first.

“It’s negative?”

“Yes, this one is negative, too.”

He picks it up and looks at the little window, and the single pink vertical line inside.

“Are you upset? You seem…down.”

Seungmin stares for another few moments, then shakes his head. “Upset? No. We should be more careful.” He drops it into the trash can, and he’s gone before you can speak again.

“Can you please tell me what you’re feeling?” He has no business keeping quiet about something that would affect you both so massively. “Or thinking about, at least.”

“I’m not thinking about anything”

“You don’t have to hide everything from me. I know I’m still new here, but I think I deserve a little bit more of you.”

“You do...you think that?"

The silence is horrible. His stare is empty, you hope it’s just him trying to get out of this conversation, or maybe his medicine still hanging over him.

“Yes”

“You get so much of me, don’t you see that? More than I've given anyone, ever. And more than you’ve given me.”

“I wasn’t sure if you cared about what I had to give.” Your voice shakes, your throat collapses, and your attempt at a deep breath comes out as a pathetic whimper. The tears are already starting, so trying to hide them seems pointless. "But I'll tell you anything you wanna know. I'll give you anything you want."

Still, he stares, but his face changes when he sees the tears falling, and hears the tightness in your chest.

“Please, don’t cry,” he says, and it sounds so exasperated, so over everything.

Your mind reaches desperately for something good: the kiss he gave you; waking you from your nightmare; the questions he did ask last night as he cuddled up next you.

“Please…” Seungmin moves toward you, and this time, he treads a little more cautiously. “Don’t cry, please.” His hands land gently on your shoulders, and he pulls you closer. “I don’t like seeing you cry.”

You push your face into his chest, mostly to hide yourself from him, but his arms close around you.

“I’m used to hiding, and pushing back. It’s a hard habit to break.”

“I’m sorry”

“No, don’t apologize to me." He pulls you even closer. “You do deserve more.” Cereus—that sweet honey smell. That's the scent he's getting now. Tomorrow, he thinks, he'll find the flowers he needs for you.

“I was so scared to take that test, and now I’m confused. You seemed upset that it was negative, were you?”

His grip on you loosens, and he makes you look at him. “I don’t have a good answer to give you.” Or he can’t put it into words properly. Something inside of Seungmin stirred when he saw that box, and then again when you told him it was a false alarm. Whatever moves inside of him when he takes a life, it moved a little bit for this, just in the opposite direction. “Did you want it to be negative? When I saw the box, I figured the result was your reason for staying. Like you were trapped here now.”

“I wanted it to be negative because I don’t think I’d make a very good mother. And because I was afraid you’d be angry."

“Angry? No. Do I still scare you?” He pulls his shirt up and wipes at your cheeks, and he cups your face in his hands. “Don’t ever let me push you around, or treat you like you’re less. If I do, leave—go home, and leave me to rot here by myself, like I deserve.”

“Seungmin”

“I can’t turn into that person. I won’t.”

You look at him questioningly, and he notices. He sees you wanting more. After this conversation, Seungmin knows he can’t always walk away from the memories he keeps digging up. He certainly can’t do it right now, not today.

“Who treated you like that? Who pushed you around?”

A memory jumps to the front of his mind; stopping at the top of the porch steps to fix his coat zipper, yelling to his friend to wait up. Seungmin felt a hand press against his shoulder, and it pushed. He remembers the pain in his wrists from almost catching himself, and tasting blood from his busted lip…but not why he did it. Maybe Seungmin was being too loud, or just standing in his way.

“My stepfather. He was, well…he didn’t like me.”

Seungmin squeezes when you grab for him again, and he keeps you close as he tries to stop the sting of tears.

“He hurt you?”

His chest aches from remembering. More memories pop into his head, and he needs to stop them. A pill, maybe. No, if he does that, either he’ll sleep the rest of the day, or he’ll have to watch the strange black dog slink around the apartment again.

“I’m sorry, we don’t have to talk about it...unless you need to”

“What’s your favorite color?”

“My what?” You wipe your cheeks with the back of your hand.

“Your favorite color. I had a friend when I was a kid, my only friend…he always asked everyone what their favorite color was. It seemed important.”

“Blue…dark blue. Like the color of your old bedspread.”

“That fits you"

“I would guess yours is purple, unless that’s too obvious.”

“No, you’re right. Is that a good start?”

“It is, I’ll take it. Where is your old friend? Still in Uljin?”

“No, he moved away before things got really bad. I’m not sure where he ended up.”

Since Seungmin is giving, maybe you should, too. “I do know what it’s like.” Even though it's hard. “It stays forever. The mean words…the screaming, and the beating, and all the locks on all the doors. It doesn’t go away.”

“No, it doesn’t”

/ / /

Who hurt you? Seungmin wonders as he watches you hunt for all of the white puzzle pieces. His mind is numb from half of a Xanax he took, so he’s not participating. He really is enjoying watching you, though—he’s catching some of your subtle habits, and hoping he still remembers them tomorrow. You squint your eyes when you think, and absently rub your hands along different parts of your body; your forearms, your neck, when you’re still for too long. Seungmin has seen you do it before, during the long car ride, but not this much. And his favorite; your finger slowly tracing the outline of your lips, pulling and picking at them. If you keep it up, you’ll make them bleed, and he might come down there in his daze and start kissing them clean.

”Hmm?”

Your eyes flit up to him. Why, what now?

“You’re sighing so loudly up there. Get down here on the floor with me.”

“I’ll get in your way.” Of course, You’re always wanting, Seungmin thinks. Always itching for closeness.

“I want you in my way”

Itching for touch. Who put that tenderness back after it was beat out of you? He watches your hand as it leaves your mouth and pushes a stray puzzle piece back in its place. Where does your patience come from?

“…get down here and help me find the green pieces”

He laughs at that, and it must be loud enough for you to hear. Your head turns his way, and you scowl at him, but you can’t keep up an act…it turns into a smile as you look away.

Those things make a good mother, right? Seungmin remembers that, sometimes. The patience, and the tenderness. Soft words. Soft hands. Why wouldn’t you?

“Why wouldn’t I what?”

Oh he said that part out loud. “Nothing. I’m coming.” He slides from the couch and onto his knees, drops to all fours, and starts toward you.

“Cute…oh, you’re not gonna help at all”

Seungmin climbs into your lap and goes straight for your neck. He kisses once, stops, and inhales deeply.

“Are you smelling me?”

His mhm comes deep from his chest, full of your sweet scent. He kisses again, coaxing you to your back as your shirt is lifted from you. “Oh, this is nice.”

The air is cold against your bare skin, but you relax when his warm hands graze over your nipples, hard and pushing against the mesh of your bra.

“Is this new?” He puts his mouth around one and bites until you make a sound for him. “A matching set?” He pulls the waistband of your leggings down, “it is,” and brings them down the rest of the way. “Cute.”

“Cute?”

You can hear his soft laugh as he disappears between your thighs. He touches, squeezes, bites when his mouth gets to work. “Are you cold? We can get into bed.”

“Yeah, take me to bed”

/ / /

It’s warm under the sheets, but your teeth chatter anyway. In anticipation of him, maybe. Should you ask him to use a condom? Will he, if you ask? He would. Do you want him to? You can’t imagine yourself as a mother; or pregnant, for that matter. What a strange home to bring a child into.

He heads for his drawer, and reaches for the knob, but stops himself. Seungmin turns and heads for his dresser, where he slides one of the top drawers open. As far as you know, from your innocent snooping a few weeks ago, there’s nothing in there except his jewelry, watches, extra glasses. He put something new in there. He comes back with a condom between his fingers, and a questioning look in his eyes.

You give him the same look right back.

He points to the bedside table, “not ours.” And then to the drawer he just came from, “ours.”

“That’s sweet”

“Is it? I just thought it made sense.”

“Yeah, it’s sweet to me”

The room warms. You swear you can feel the cold get pushed away as he crawls to you…onto you…pulls the covers back up as you disappear beneath him. Seungmin touches and kisses everywhere he can get to—down your body, where he tugs at the matching panties he seemed to like so much, and back up to focus elsewhere. He opens the clasp of your bra and lets you fall out, and his smile as he watches is sickly sweet. You feel a blush move up your neck and face, and your reflexes force your arms around you. There’s no reason to be shy, but he’s making you feel seen again. Too seen. Seungmin looks at you, and into you in a way nobody else has before.

He gently grabs your wrists and pushes them onto the bed, “you’re mine…no hiding.”

“I’m yours”

“All mine…you won’t leave me”

It’s just a mumble against your skin, but you hear every word. He told you to leave if he did something to deserve it, but despite the dream, you're starting to believe he's incapable of scaring you away. He might think he is, but he doesn’t see all of himself. Seungmin isn't the nightmare that looks back at him in the mirror.

You still remember every word he said in the greenhouse; okay, I guess...sometimes it’s tough to tell from the inside. You didn’t hear the question, but you assume it was “how are you?”

He talked about you; I know, I’m not alone this time, isn’t that strange? It feels so strange.

I’m trying really hard, I promise

Trying to what, exactly? To get better? To keep you around? If only you had heard what he heard, and knew both sides of the conversation. But you know who it was now, and it took too long to figure out. Seungmin was catching up with his mother, telling her he is okay, and that he is no longer alone, and that he's trying so hard to...well, you're not sure exactly what—keep everything from falling apart, maybe. The dream that had him in tears, and unable to get back to sleep, was her.

“No, I won't leave you alone”

His teeth sink into your neck as he works his way in. It’s easy, and so smooth, and so satisfying—Seungmin knows his way around your body now. He pushes his cock inside of you, pulls out slowly, slides back in. Warming you up, making you comfortable, and maybe testing out how this feels. Seungmin feels good, he always does…and this, you could do this with him all night, but it’s not quite right. You’re used to nothing between you and him, so what you’re thinking is irresponsible and stupid.

The slow, steady strokes are him; the painful stretch, and the careful movements are all him. But it’s not the same. Your hands slide up his back and you pull him closer, and he bites again, softly—he’s become gentle with you in every way when you fuck…he doesn’t leave you with the same marks he begs for.

“Min,” you whisper, and run your hands across the scratches you left. Healed, but still rough against the rest of his soft skin. He moans quietly, and you hate to say his name again and stop him, but, “hey.”

“What’s wrong?” He slows his thrusts and looks at you, “it hurts?”

“No, it doesn’t hurt”

He kisses sweetly, and you can feel him crack a smile before he pulls away.

“What are you smiling about?”

This time he laughs as he goes for another kiss. “What is it, why’d you stop me?” and another.

“I…uhm—nothing, I'm fine”

“Nothing?” He stops completely and stares. Trying to read your mind, probably. Seungmin moves again, slowly.

“Please…baby.” Why did you say that? Your face heats up, and you know he sees it. That’s the second time you've done that today.

“Jagi?” The grin won’t drop from his face, so you wonder what has him feeling so relaxed, and so at ease. It can’t just be the pill he took. “Sweetheart?”

“Don’t tease me"

"No...I'm not, I like it. You can call me sweet little nicknames."

"Take the condom off”

Seungmin’s eyes grow, “oh, is that the problem?” He kisses more, and you can feel him reach between you and remove it. “Anything for you.”

"Anything?"

"Mhm...tell me what else you want"

"Don't be so gentle this time"

He grips your wrists again, puts all of his weight down, and fucks you slowly, gently. "Are you sure? You want it a little rough?"

"Yes, Min...please"

"Call me Minnie"

"Minnie," You can't help but smirk at that. It's almost too cute for him, "can we switch positions?'

Seungmin mhm's and slides his hands from your wrists, and groans as his cock is released from your tight squeeze again. "How would you like to—" he laughs under his breath as you turn your body, get on your knees, and lay your head on the pillow, "...be fucked?"

His eyes eat you up, and his hands follow. Seungmin wonders why you haven’t switched things up before now, but he knows why he never does—he likes looking at you, and kissing you and he likes watching you on top of him (and pulling you down). Seungmin never realized how much he liked to kiss until he kissed your breathless lips, and again when he had a knife to his throat. That isn’t the type of treatment his victims get unless it seems absolutely necessary. Seungmin only wants to kiss you.

Considering how shy you were before, he’s surprised at what he’s getting now. Ass up, thighs spread. He resists the urge to use his mouth, only because his cock is aching for you again. He moves his head between your lips, gathering up your warm arousal, mixing it with his pre-cum. The thought of filling you up again makes him ache even more, and he pushes in without warning.

But you said you wanted it rough. You gasp and flinch, and your shaky breath actually makes him pause for a moment. No, you said you want it rough, and he’s giving it to you.

“Stop me if you need to.” Seungmin runs a hand up your back and squeezes your shoulder as he starts to move. In and out, deep and slow at first. “Okay?” He thinks he sees you nod, so he lets go, and the sound as your body meets his is so sweet; the grip on his cock, how much deeper he hits. And he knows he’s hurting you, despite your persistence. Face down in the pillow, fist clenching the sheets—your free hand reaches for his, and Seungmin thinks you want to hold it, but instead you wrap his fingers around your neck.

“Are you sure?” He can barely get it out before you push back into him. “Oh fuck…okay.” Seungmin squeezes, gently, and it seems to satisfy you for now, but he doesn’t want to tighten his grip. He can’t do that, because he hasn’t done this to anyone unless he was ending it. The control might not be there. Maybe it will be, for you, but he doesn’t know for sure, and he’s not willing to risk it.

“More”

“No.” It slips out. He was only thinking it, but he says it again. “No, I can’t.”

“Minnie…”

“I might hurt you.” He leans forward and places a kiss on your back, and keeps moving up, “I can’t,” wraps his arms around you and holds you tight against his chest. “I love you, I can’t.” And he hopes you’ll turn your head and look at him…

You do. “What did you say?”

Seungmin kisses you sweetly and fucks you as gently as possible, because he wants this to last a little longer, but he’s so close. The kissing—the confession…he told you he feels too much sometimes, and he knows you remember.

A little bit of regret swirls in his head, only because you don’t say it right back, but he pushes it away when you twist yourself to kiss him even deeper. Seungmin comes, and his satisfied moan fills your ears and mouth and chest. You feel him shaking as he slows himself and pulls out, and then he’s up, and you need him back, but it’s only for a moment as he helps you roll back to face him.

Now what? He’s staring at you, silent, eyes full of all of those feelings he holds onto so tightly. You could answer him—you could say it right back to cut through this quiet, but you want him to say it again. Instead, he touches. His warm hand closes over your cunt, and his fingers slide up and over your still-sensitive clit. He gives you exactly what you need, and when his mouth start exploring you again, your orgasm already starts to rise.

“Kiss me”

He jumps up to your chest, and your neck, and finally lands on your lips as you come for him.

/ / /

Not getting a positive result on either test was a strange surprise, you have to admit. Every time you’ve had sex, save the first time, it’s ended the same way; you laying here, staring at him, filled with him. Right now, you’re comfortable and curled up in his arms, and you can feel the slow trickle of cum on your thigh. You like it.

“I’ll start birth control, so we won’t have to worry”

You’re not sure he’s still awake until he moves his hand up your back, and laughs under his breath. “I’m not worried. But you don’t want a baby, so we will be careful.”

You don’t want one, not we. Every time he talks on the subject, you move closer to the conclusion that a very big part of him wants a child. You have to find out for sure, and you need to know why, if that is the case. This is a strange home to bring a baby into, you think again. Two damaged parents can’t make a happy, well-adjusted child, can they? No. It doesn't even matter how you feel, or how he feels, because neither not there yet. You might never be.

"Minnie?" Not smiling when you say it seems impossible, Minnie. It's cute, and it doesn't seem to match him, or it didn't when you first met...it does now. You see a Minnie in there; sweet, loving, overflowing with heartache and nowhere to put it.

“Hmm?” Of course he expects you to bring it up, his three stupid little words he couldn’t keep to himself; his sudden outpouring of emotions, because he finally boiled over in the moment. Seungmin wonders if that’s how it usually feels—like you’re going to explode from the pain. That’s how it feels when he’s kneeling in the dirt with his flowers, and that’s how he feels when he remembers too much all at once. But this was a different type of pain.

“Minnie,” you say it again, whisper it, feel it leave your mouth and reach his ears. His eyes grow, and you can see them reflect every little light in the room. Why didn’t you tell him first, and what if Seungmin is wondering that, too? You feel it, and you have felt it far too long in your short time knowing him. He knows that. He knows you’re the one bursting with love for him, he has to know that. “I should have told you.”

There’s so much he doesn’t know, and now you’re going to tell him something that will change whatever this is. “Told me what?”

You hope it changes things for the better. “How I feel." It could always complicate things, or scare him, even though he opened his mouth first.

"Told me how you feel?"

"How I feel when I look at you. How much I love you."

[mariasont]

Hello! I saw you were taking some requests? I had an idea for a Spencer fic. The reader (afab) who is gender fluid but doesn’t like their chest area (as they are quite big) on certain days due to how they are feeling that day. Spencer helps them feel a little better by just helping them out with a fitting outfit from his clothes mixed with theirs too.

This can be purely fluff and just all sweet. But you can add anything else if it helps you pad out the story more.

Thank you!

Sweater - S.R

a/n: hi hi hi thank u so much for requesting sorry it took so long i wanted to make sure i did my research and remained sensitive to this subject <3

i hope you like it !!!

masterlist

‧₊˚ ✩°｡⋆♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡⋆｡°✩˚₊‧

pairings: spencer reid x gender-fluid!afab!reader

summary: in which you struggle with your body and spencer helps you

warnings: a lil angst, fluff, body dysmorphia

wc: 0.8k

You absently scuffed the toe of your sock along the grain of polished floor, your head drifting to one side while your fingers fussed with your fingernail. Your eyes avoided the mirror in front of you, knowing you wouldn't necessarily like what you saw back.

Your fingers lingered along the hem of your shirt, a subconscious motion that sought to smooth more than just the wrinkles. The shirt, a second skin, hugged a little too closely, its lines a little too revealing. You pulled at the fabric, willing it to fall just right, to drape, to hide. 

A crease of frustration marred your face as you turned to the side, the reflection in the mirror stubbornly refused to align with the image in your head. The chest that some days felt like a part of you, today, felt like a stranger--too pronounced, too noticeable, too... there.

The bedroom door groaned softly on its hinges as Spencer appeared in the doorway. His eyes connected with yours in the mirror as he observed the strain etched in your shoulders, and the sudden pause in your hands' restless motion.

"Hey," he said, his voice was comforting, a welcome intrusion to the relentless tangled web that was your thoughts. "I'm making eggs. Do you want some?"

It was a simple offer, but that didn't matter. Just him being there made everything seem a little softer around the edges.

"Yes, please," you replied, feeling the tight coil of anxiety within you loosen ever so slightly.

Spencer's gaze lingered with a softness that betrayed its probing nature, as if he could strip away everything you were hiding, something he was able to do all too often. He stepped closer, his eyes never leaving yours.

"Do you know how much I love you?"

The question hung in the air, it was a rhetorical question really, but you felt the warmth that spread through you as you toyed with the hem of his shirt.

"As much as the neurons in our brains fire every second," you said, a fact Spencer had instilled into you like no other—he didn’t go a day without saying it.

"That's right," Spencer affirmed with a chuckle as he closed the distance between you.

His hands came up to cup your face, sweeping gentle strokes over your cheeks before planting a soft kiss against your forehead.

Spencer's voice was soft, almost hesitant, as if he was giving you the space to decide while he spoke into your skin. "Do you want to talk to me?"

You let out a small sigh, not of frustration, but of surrender as you leaned into his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heart—bump, bump—it was almost enough to lull you to sleep standing up in his arms.

"It's just one of those days."

He knew what you meant, of course he did. His arms wrapped around you.

"Did you know," he began, his voice steady and sure, "that the way we see ourselves can be influenced by so many factors, like mood, environment, and even the lighting of the room? It's important to me that you remember that our self-image isn't always an accurate reflection of reality."

You leaned further into his chest, eyes squeezing shut.

He paused, giving you a moment to absorb the words before pinching your sides. "Why don't you try on some of my clothes?"

"Yeah, okay," you agreed, you’d never say no to that offer.

Spencer's eyes crinkled with amusement as he moved towards the closet. "Sit tight," he called over his shoulder.

You perched on the bed, watching his lanky frame disappear into the closet. "Will you pick something out for me?"

"You trust me that much? Bold move."

A chuckle escaped you, and you shook your head, a strand of hair falling into your face. "Just no bow ties, please."

“No promises.”

Moments later, Spencer emerged, holding a soft-looking sweater and a pair of comfortable joggers. "Here."

You took the clothes, the fabric soft under your fingertips. It smelled like him."Turn around, please."

Spencer's eyebrow shot up. "Turn around?" he exclaimed, but his smile revealed just how amused he was.

He leaned in, pressing a quick, tender kiss to your lips before obligingly spinning on his heel to give you privacy.

With Spencer's back turned, you quickly changed into the clothes he had chosen. They were perfect—comfortable, roomy, and more importantly, made you feel more like yourself.

"Okay, you can look now."

Spencer turned, his gaze drinking you in, hands falling to rest on the small of your back. "How’s that feel?”

You looked down at yourself, then back up at him through the mirror. “Like I can breathe again.”

He nodded, his hand finding yours, giving a squeeze. “Good, because to me, you always look perfect.”

taglist: @hotchhner @khxna

[starlostseungmin]

do you think seungmin would be the big spoon or the little spoon?

— cuddles with seungmin.

hey guys! i'm back (not really) with a short drabble for seungmin (again, yes, i love him and thank you for this anon who sent this!) i'll be lurking here for a while and i also have another upcoming seungmin fic! you probably know what it is about since i have reblogged a masterlist of a collab. i'm currently working on it despite my hiatus so stay tuned! i hope you're having a great day. enjoy reading! (don't forget to reblog and leave comments) thank you everyone! ♡

to be honest, i could see him as both because sometimes he wants to be babied and cuddled to sleep but on the other hand, he’d be all generous and clingy that he tends to spoon you out of nowhere. but to imagine it in detail, here’s a headcanon for that. 

big spoon. 

seungmin is not clingy, but to think of it, he wants cuddles when he’s in the mood. 

he would wrap his arms around you when your back is facing him and bury his face in the crook of your neck, leaving kisses. it always happens when you two are in the comfort of your bed after an exhausting day. 

if he sees you cooking in the kitchen when he comes home from practice, expect a pair of strong arms around your waist, kissing you on the cheek. it is a way of saying “i’m home.” 

it could be like sitting on the couch as you watch a movie with his arms around you while rubbing circles on your stomach. you’d be sitting between his legs with your back leaning on his chest. 

or when you’re upset over something, he’d come up for a back hug and ask what was wrong while kissing your shoulder, squeezing your arms for comfort. maybe it would happen when he decides to surprise you at work, laughing at your priceless reaction. 

he’d sing you a lullaby or one of his songs while caressing your hair as his other arm wrapped around you when you can’t fall asleep. 

seungmin is not fond of skinship but when he does, it is the most comforting thing in the world. 

small spoon

being the puppy he is, you couldn’t deny he’s adorable and he will ask for cuddles because, of course, he deserves it. 

he would sneak between your arms when he finds you reading on your bed. your agenda is suddenly interrupted by a golden retriever but you don’t mind. instead, you are always willing to cuddle him. 

seungmin would lay his head on your chest as he listens to the calm heartbeat which helps him fall asleep. or when he lays on your lap and reached out for your hand to play with his hair. 

he doesn’t need to say anything when all the cuddles came from you. 

and just like him, you’d walk over to the kitchen when he’s cooking just to wrap your arms around his waist, feeling the broadness of his back and shoulders. you love his body frame. it is like he is perfectly made to be the one you love to cling onto. 

“it’s good,” he’d mumble when he gets comfortable being inside your arms while you run your fingers through his brown sugar hair. 

and he never forgets to say “i love you” whenever he is thankful. 

taglist: @wolfchanchan ,, @1-800-lixie ,, @luvhyun3 ,, @lix-ables ,, @zoe8stay ,, @gwynsapphire ,, @cherryhanji ,, @lixesque ,, @seungly ,, @sleepyleeji ,, @comet-falls ,, @kim-seung-mo ,, @ppiri-bahng ,, @myjisung ,, @snow-pegasus ,, @milkybonya ,, @l3visbby ,, @wilczachannn ,, @tangylemonade ,, @hwan-g ,, @awkwardnesshabitat ,, @chrispychans ,, @therealhyunjingf ,, @hyunverse ,, @starseungs ,, @skizzel ,, @lino-jagiyaa ,, @ameliesaysshoo ,, @rachabreathing ,, @svngiem — lmk if you want to be added or removed !! ♡

[impromptu-sketches]

𝔹𝕃 𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟚 ✦ 𝕎ℝ𝔸ℙ-𝕌ℙ

Happy New Year! And welcome to my 2022 BL Wrap-Up!

Out of all of the BL stories -ongoing and completed- I’ve read this year, I have a winner in ten categories and four ‘best of’ winners!!

Thank you to all of the writers, artists, and creators out there ♡ published or not, you are amazing, we appreciate you, and thank you so much for bringing beauty into this world for others to experience!

Enjoy!

-

✧ - FUNNIEST

And the nominees are...

- Semantic Error

- Killer Crush

- It’s Not Like That

- Cherry Magic! Thirty Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard?!

- Punch Drunk Love

And the winner is...

KILLER CRUSH

All these were absolutely hilarious, but Killer Crush was just relentless! The chemistry between them, the ridiculous situations they put themselves in, all of their little thoughts and expressions, and the freaking side couple! ٩̋(๑˃́ꇴ˂̀๑) I enjoy every second of reading this!

✧ - MOST INTRUIGING

And the nominees are...

- The Ghost’s Nocturne

- Wet Sand

- Stranger

- Coyote

- Night Fragments

And the winner is...

COYOTE

I recently re-read Coyote before reading the new chapters and it had me captivated again from the very beginning ~~~ I mean, LILI, MARLENE!! Are you kidding me?? ♡♡♡♡♡ They are soulmates ♡o(╥﹏╥)o ♥♡ and the gorgeous art!! The sex scenes..... fUck. I could go on forever ... I don’t care how many romeo & juliet stories there are, this one does it best! Zaria (author & artist) is god tier!!

✧ - BEST KISS

And the nominees are...

- 19 Days

- Sasaki and Miyano

- Semantic Error

- 4 Week Lovers

- Cherry Magic! Thirty Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard?!

And the winner is...

19 DAYS

Not even able to show a kiss directly on the mouth but the winner nonetheless!! That’s how l-o-n-g we’ve been waiting and how amazing it was ♡♡♡ We have truly been blessed the last few weeks with He Tian and little Mo!! (⋈◍＞◡＜◍)。✧♡♡ My heart is about to burst I swear!!

✧ - BEST SEX SCENES

And the nominees are...

- Dear Door (*2021 winner)

- It’s Just a Dream... Right?!

- Liveta

- 4 Week Lovers

- Pearl Boy

And the winner is...

IT’S JUST A DREAM... RIGHT?!

Oh my god, I was not expecting this manhwa to be what it was!! But they are just so cute!! 。゜(ﾉ≧∀≦)ﾉ ゜。  And Jungoh grew on me so much!! Then the dreams kept going... and things got spicier and spicier (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄

✧ - FAVORITE FLUFF

And the nominees are...

- Sasaki and Miyano

- Path to You

- My Love Mix-Up!

- Dreaming of You

- Night Fragments

And the winner is...

PATH TO YOU

I re-read this one recently and I’m so glad I did because it was just as cute and wholesome as I remembered!! I just can’t get over them. Simply adorable. ( ˘͈ ᵕ ˘͈♡)˚๐*˟ ♡

✧ - FAVORITE BOTTOM

And the nominees are...

- Victor | Liveta (*2021 winner)

- Jooha | Pearl Boy

- Na-kyum | Painter of the Night

- Seo-an | The Pizza Delivery Man and The Gold Palace

- Yeonwu | Banana Scandal

And the winner is...

SEO-AN | THE PIZZA DELIVERY MAN AND THE GOLD PALACE

Seo-an is so unique ♥ one of the reasons he’s my favorite is because his character feels so real and relatable. A big part of the plot is dealing with his anxiety and panic attacks and despite that vulnerability he is also so kind, patient, and sticks up for himself and others. I really like his character alone and paired with Woo-won ♥ I’m so excited to continue this story in February - I will be reading it as soon as it drops.

✧ - FAVORITE TOP

And the nominees are...

- Yoonseul | The Third Ending

- Dooshik | Pearl Boy

- Dowon | Full Volume

- Taehee | Banana Scandal

- Woo-won | The Pizza Delivery Man and The Gold Palace

And the winner is...

DOWON | FULL VOLUME

Ahhhhhh!! (ﾉ≧∀≦)ﾉ Dowon has my whole heart ♡ He’s so freaking sweet to Beom and yeah this BL is horny af but it’s also super adorable!! Honestly, I was not expecting it to be so romantic but Dowon is just so extra and I love him and I love them together ♡♡♡

✧ - FAVORITE COUPLE

And the nominees are...

- Dooshik & Jooha | Pearl Boy (*2021 winner)

- Taeman & Dahyeok |  Killer Crush

- Coyote/Lili & Joshua/Marleen | Coyote

- Sangwoo & Jaeyoung | Semantic Error

- Woo-won & Seo-an | The Pizza Delivery Man and the Gold Palace

And the winner is...

DOOSHIK & JOOHA | PEARL BOY

They’ve won again! Honestly nothing has changed, they are still so awkwardly cute together and adorable!! ♡♡♡  

✧ - FAVORITE SIDE COUPLE

And the nominees are...

- Daeshik & Yosef | Love so Pure 

- Seolho & Hyunshik/the boss |  Killer Crush

- Shizusumi & Hiiragi | Given

- Hirano & Kagiura | Sasaki and Miyano

- Jihwa & No Name | Painter of the Night

And the winner is...

DAESHIK & YOSEF |  LOVE SO PURE

Oh my god, Yosef being a gentle giant teddy bear and Daeshik being his cute plotting eager self... I did not love the idea of them together at first, but damn did my opinion change!! And idk why but  Daeshik talking, going on and on and Yosef just listening patiently is my favorite thing haha (*´ ˘ `*) 

✧ - FAVORITE BOY

And the nominees are...

- Taehee | Banana Scandal (*2021 winner)

- Giovanni | Hold Me Tight

- Jooha | Pearl Boy

- Jae-hee | 4 Week Lovers

- Dowon | Full Volume

And the winner is...

TAEHEE | BANANA SCANDAL

It’s him again!!! I can’t get over how much I love Taehee ♡♡ He had me the second that I read ‘The Power Fruit Girls’ (aka The Powerpuff Girls, which is a real show that I watched growing up)!! Anyway, I love Taehee for so many reasons, one being his introverted nature, the fact that he never tries to be someone he’s not, and always sticks up for his man!! I love how much he loves Dojin!! ♡♡

✧ - FAVORITE NEW BL

And the winner is...

THE PIZZA DELIVERY MAN AND THE GOLD PALACE

Okay, I was not freaking expecting this BL to become one of my ultimate favorites but oh my god!! It’s so good!! Not that much ‘plot’ happens, but I just love these two so much - individually and together. I also love a good cinderella story, and this one is so wholesome and beautiful!! The slow tensions growing between them, getting to know each other first, helping each other... I cannot freaking wait for them to be together (.づ◡﹏◡)づ. Upi (author & artist) has quickly became one of my favorite authors ❤❤❤

✧ - FAVORITE ONGOING BL

And the winner is...

TWITTERING BIRDS NEVER FLY

This BL has me in a chokehold lol whenever there’s a new chapter I have a physical reaction because I’m so excited to read it. And it will continue to have me in a chokehold until the final chapter!! I love and hate this slow burn so muchhhhhh (,,>﹏<,,) ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ oh my god I love it 

✧ - FAVORITE BL THAT ENDED THIS YEAR

And the winner is...

CHERRY BLOSSOMS AFTER WINTER

Awwwwww the first BL I’ve ever read has come to an end (ㅅ´ ˘ `)♡ So cute, so wholesome. It will always hold a special little place in my heart.

✧ - BEST BL OF 2022

And the winner is...

SEMANTIC ERROR

OH MY GOD, Semantic Error is everything!! The best enemies to lovers slow burn out there! The teasing! The tension! Sangwoo being Sangwoo (✿>ꇴ<) had me cracking up so many times - I can’t wait to read more ♡

I love Semantic Error so much I cosplayed as Sangwoo this year at a local convention - my first ever cosplay costume!! And I dressed my partner up in the iconic red jump suit hahaha ♡♡♡

-

Thank you all for reading!

[thealtofvalleyxdoodles]

︻╦̵̵͇̿̿̿̿╤─ †å§k £ðr¢ê 1-4-1 H¢§- - - - - - - -ˎˊ-

Just some dumb thoughts

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈•ﾟ｡ E̳n̳j̳o̳y̳ ｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈•ﾟ｡

-ˏˋ♥̩͙♥̩̩̥͙♥̩̥̩ ⑅ 𝕵𝖔𝖍𝖓𝖆𝖙𝖍𝖆𝖓 "𝕭𝖗𝖆𝖛𝖔 0-6" 𝕻𝖗𝖎𝖈𝖊 ⑅ ♥̩̥̩♥̩̩̥͙♥̩͙ˊˎ

Price likes to swallow chewing gum. I mean-LOOK AT THE FUCKER. HE SWALLOWS GUM-CHANGE MY MIND. Price also likes to drink whiskey out of a tea cup-Kate just stares at him and says "John-how are you Drunk off of Tea???" and he's all "Fuck off, Mum! I ain't three no mo' Woman!"

Price has gone to a pride parade with Kate-she was in the parade bc some homophobic dude at her wife's job was trash talking her. John went as morel support (And ended up in a conga line--)

Price's famous pick-up line with the ladies is "Are ye chocolate milk? Because you make my day batter" (Yes he says Batter.)

My mans will just S T A R E at people when he's deep in thought. Like-he'll zone out and then it's just

and it's lowkey kind like-"Cap? What the fuck?"

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*୨୧ ┈┈┈┈┈ S̶i̶m̶o̶n̶ "G̶h̶o̶s̶t̶" R̶i̶l̶e̶y̶ ┈┈┈┈┈ ୨୧*

Simon wakes up every. single. night. at three am. THREE AM. Poor bby :,(

this man will randomly be reminded of something-wether it be his father or, or walking past the old park he used to play at after school as a kid, somthing else-and he'll get the urge to cry. And he'll get so spaced out John has to shake him roughly-one time he had to slap him--

Simon really really REALLY hates the smell of COOKIES. But he loves eating them???? Wtf bro-

the only thing he can cook is instant noodles. thats it. your dream cook can only cook noodles. i woke u up, your welcome.

Ghost once caught Soap tryna sneak in a few....odd pics...of him...for "Art like things, Lt!" (Like Soap can draw-Ha! He draws so much foikin' battar.)

this man can sing-and he sound like he's native to the US when he does--

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(I love this little gif of him bc he looks like he's just like "Yes ma'am-no maiming. understood" HE'S SO CUTE I CANT WSDNIGIGHNIEQG)

¸.·✩·.¸¸.·¯⍣✩ j̤̈ö̤ḧ̤n̤̈n̤̈ÿ̤ "s̤̈ö̤ä̤p̤̈" Mä̤c̤̈ẗ̤ä̤v̤̈ï̤s̤̈ḧ̤ ✩⍣¯·.¸¸.·✩·.¸

MF LIKES CHEESE BY ITSELF. im sorry-i had to say it. he does.

He-i cant even fathom how i think this-he can bake. and he's GOOD at it. Like, "Why tha fack whould ya go ta tha cheesecake fac'ory?? I can make betta shite!?" (I love him so much dfgsdinfgof8)

He draw better than Simon-Simon just has a big ego with his artwork and won't admit Johnny draws better--

Johnny (Cannonly) speaks better spanish than Graves. (LIKE HOW THE FUCK DOES A US BITCH SPEAK SPANISH SO BADDDD UGH-anyways this is bout babyboy here)

his first word nearly killed his Roman Catholic mother, "War! War! Ha ha! Warrrr!" (The poor woman, RIP)

His second word was no better. "Gay!"

how'd he learn these words?? ...His uncles. (Dad's side)

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☆★☆★→ Kͦyͦlͦeͦ "Gͦaͦzͦ" Gͦaͦrͦrͦiͦcͦkͦ ←☆★☆★

So like-idk why but when i first saw this man i was like: "...yeah-he vapes."

also-WHY THE FUCK DID YOU HOLD THE LIGHTER WITH TWO HANDS????

anyways-he likes to snuggle with a little stuffie from when he was a kid-it's a small pink bunny too. it's missing an ear and he had to re-sew a foot on with a spare sock but other than that, it's still lookin pretty good.

"Hey-John? ...Why the fuck are you staring at me like that, Sir??"

(See Johnathan "Bravo-06" Price)

I headcannon that he has like-three older cousins he talks to whenever he can-like-he sends them a text at least every day

i also think he has a big family.

and that he is the ONLY BRITISH MAN that can cook-like he and Kate?? god-DAYUM. They are a STORM in the kitchen.

Im sorry-but this man will only call you "Love" and "Mamas"-nothing else. Change my mind-I dare you. (If he's tired it'll be a small "Hunnybun")--

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( ノ・・)ノ g̤̈ä̤r̤̈ÿ̤ "r̤̈ö̤ä̤c̤̈ḧ̤" s̤̈ä̤n̤̈d̤̈ë̤r̤̈s̤̈ö̤n̤̈ ( /・・)ノ

Baby boy is ALWAYS FORGOTTEN SO-FUCK ALL OF YOU, IM TAKING MY SON AND LEAVING

My baby boy LOVES to watch 90's cartoons on his phones after missions. Like all anyone will hear from his room is, "Oh ThE tHiNgS i Do FoR lOvE!!" (If you dont know what show this is from, your too young to be on my page)

He used to get called "Gar-bear" by his mom bc he used to watch so much spongebob as a kid.

He ADORESSS the homemade food from his teamates-even if it's just Simon's instant noodles. </3 he is everything to me, omg

He can speak English, Spanish, German, French, and ASL. (American sign language)

When he's really pissed off he'll say the one curse word he knows in Slovak. ("Kurva!" it means fuck-dont ask how i know that...)

He has a small ant farm at home. He has a few other friends (not from work ofc) look after them when hes gone <3

Secretly really good at arts and crafts-he makes his own jewelry for himself and Gaz-bc Gaz is the ONLY ONE who remembers he's alive half the time.

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✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ Kå†ê "W冢hêr-1" Lå§wêll ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

Laswell-ooOOOoOO! Laswell-this woman rivals gordon ramsey in the kitchen.

Best chiken pot pie you've ever tasted-ever.

She makes homemade coffee for the task force. and it's Good.

She favors blackberry crumble-her wife makes it. You can NOT tell me otherwise.

advid user of "Honey", "Darling", and "Dear" for people she likes-minus, minus John. Minus John....minus John....

and by people she likes i mean people she thinks of as HER kids.

anybody tryna mess wit ghost, soap, gaz, or roach??? just a simple "Las-" and mama's coming out to fucking MURDER.

thems is her BOIS, ok?? ok.

Price once called her mama bear-and she was like, "Yes i am, so what? How's that affect your day, Price?"

she's scarily good at throwing her slippers at things-once soap asked her to hit the clock-and she did-dead center. im talking where the teeny tiny little bolt that keeps the hands in place.

i could rant all day long about mommy Kate tbh-

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and thats it. i might make more-depends.

thanks for reading!!

———๑•̀ᴗ•̀) ʋ ǟ ʟ <3 (•̀ᴗ•̀๑———

[ediyoonoh]

I Got a Really Big Problem

GreenSchoolBf!Mark Lee x GreenSchoolGf!reader;1.9k words; taglish fic

GENRE: established relationship, smut

WARNING: this fic contains smut (pwp, unprotected sex, fingering, a hint of degrading kink (?), and jealousy sex(?)) and the use of foul language

SUMMARY: Mark has a problem when you tried to make him jealous

A/N: Hi to the anon who requested this! Sorry antagal na nasa drafts ko lang to 🥺 inisip ko pa kasi kung sa’n sa greenschool pwede gawin yung (lam mo na) AHAHAHAH jk. This fic may contain typo and grammatical errors. Anw, I hope you enjoy reading and lemme know your thoughts!

DISCLAIMER: all names, characters, and settings in this work are fictious. Any resemblance are entirely coincidental.

MINORS DNI!!

MASTERLIST

“Sa’n ka right now, Love?” ‘Yan ang chat sa’yo ng boyfriend mong si Mark thirty minutes ago. Malamang ginawa niya ‘to bago sila mag-training sa Razon.

You’re boyfriend is a basketball athlete representing your university. In fact, kilala siya sa campus niyo for his skills, and of course, for his good looks.

Tumungo ka na sa 9th floor ng Razon upang panoorin ang nobyo mo mag-laro, tutal tapos na rin naman ang mga klase mo ngayong araw. Nag-reply ka din sa message niya but you didn't manage to receive a reply back.

“Please hold the elevator!” Narinig mong sigaw ng isang lalaki habang tumatakbo. Nagulat ka naman na kaibigan mo pala ‘to.

“Uy Haechan ikaw pala ‘yan” nginitian mo siya nang makapasok na siya sa elevator.

“Tagal na kitang ‘di nakikita ah, ‘san punta mo?” Tanong ng morenong lalaki sa’yo.

“Mark messaged me a while ago looking for me so I decided to watch him train since I don’t really have anything to do as of now“ you answered.

“Oh that’s great! Because I’m headed there as well to wait for Chenle to finish training. Let’s just go together then.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

Hindi nakuha ni Mark ang bola na pinasa sa kaniya ng teammate niya dahil nakita ka niyang naglalakad papunta sa bleachers. Kasama si Haechan.

Lalo pang na distract ang lalaki nang napansin niya na suot mo ang paborito niyang skirt.

“Sama ng tingin ng jowa mo sakin ah” pang-asar ni Haechan sa’yo. Umamin kasi sa’yo dati si Haechan kaya hindi mapigilan ni Mark na mag-selos tuwing magkasama kayong dalawa.

Pinag-usapan niyo naman ng mag-nobyo na ‘di mo sinagot si Haechan dahil hanggang kaibigan lamang ang tingin mo sa kaniya. You also never get tired reassuring Mark that you love him with all of your heart and that he is and always be your man .

Unfortunately, there are still times na kung saan mas pinapairal ni Mark ang emosyon niya.

“Makita ba naman tayo magkasama ng wala sa oras, you think he’ll be happy?” Sagot mo habang tumabi ka ng upo kay Haechan.

Napansin mo na biglang nag-iba ang timpla ng mood ni Mark. Halata sa kilos niya na mas lalo siyang naging agresibo sa paglalaro at nakasimangot na rin ang mukha niya.

‘Di mo rin mapigilang mag-alala sa boyfriend mo dahil ayaw mo na nag-aaway kayo tungkol kay Haechan, na tropa din naman niya.

“Musta pala sex life nyo ni Mark” nasamid ka sa sinabi ng kaibigan mo sa’yo. How can he ask that in public?

Hinampas mo ng malakas si Haechan sa kaniyang braso, “Tangina ka ang lakas ng boses mo. What if may makarinig sa’yo?”

Nginitian ka lamang ng kaibigan mo pabalik at nang nakita mo ang ekspresyon nito, ah may binabalak na naman ‘tong di maganda.

“Ano na naman ‘yang iniisip mo?” kilala mo na rin kasi si Haechan for him being mischievous and his ideas often lead to disaster.

“Ay alam mo kung anuman ‘yang iniisip mo—” you said to turn him down.

“Let’s make him jealous” Gago talaga.

Lilipat ka na sana ng pwesto upang layuan ang kaibigan mo pero pinigilan ka agad nito, “Wait! Just hear me out, okay? Please?”

Hindi mo naman mapigilan dahil na curious ka na rin sa naisip nito kaya inantay mo na lamang siya sabihin kung ano ang binabalak niya.

“I asked you that question because I had this idea to make him jealous so that you can have this mind blowing sex!” He officially lost his mind.

Tinaasan mo ng kilay si Haechan. “Bakit mo naman naisip ‘yan? You know I don’t want him to get jealous because I don’t want our relationship and your friendship to turn into shit, right?”

“Yeah I understand that part but imagine the sex you’ll have when his driven by jealousy. Mark told me na di kayo masyadong nagkikita because his busy training, so what if mamaya o kapag nagkita na kayo, get him to fuck you to let his jealousy out. I see it as a win-win!” pangungumbinsi sa’yo ng kaibigan mo.

You hate to admit it but you find it hot when Mark is jealous or mad. You also wished for him to be rougher on you when it comes to bed because that really turns you on.

After much thinking, you decided to test Haechan’s theory out. “Okay fine, but it’s on you when things didn’t go as plan.”

“Trust me this will work out! But fine, consequences will be on me if this comes to shit,” pag-reassure sa’yo ng kaibigan mo at inayos ka ng upo sa tabi niya.

Ang hindi mo alam, hindi niyo na kailangan pag-selosin si Mark dahil nakita palang niya kayo nag-uusap mula sa malayo and his blood is already boiling.

»»————-　♡　————-««

Natigil ang pag-uusap niyo ni Haechan noong narinig mong pumito ang coach nila Mark, senyales na break time na ng mga players.

“Papunta na jowa mo dito” bulong sa’yo ni Haechan. Nakatalikod ka kasi sa court kaya ‘di mo napansin na pa-akyat na pala sa pwesto niyo ang nobyo mo.

“Tangina galit ba? Kanina ka pa dikit ng dikit sakin Haechan, for sure inis na inis na ‘yun” pag-aalala mo.

Haechan only smirked at you and noticed his eyes looked at someone. “Uy ‘sup bro?” pagbati ng kaibigan mo sa jowa mo.

Hindi binalik ni Mark ang bati ng tropa niya at tinapik ka nito. “Love?” tawag sa’yo ng lalaki.

“Hi love!” you cautiously smiled at him. Natatakot ka ngayon sa boyfriend mo dahil napaka-cold ng ekpresyon nito pero that shit turns you on.

“I need to talk to you,” Mark simply said before grabbing your arm and pulling you away from Haechan. Nanlaki lamang ang mga mata mo habang sinusubukan hindi matapilok habang pababa ng bleachers.

Tiningnan mo si Haechan habang hinahatak ka ni Mark. Ang tanging nakita mo lamang sa moreno ay ang kaniyang kindat at ang mahinang pagsabi ng “Good luck”.

Dinala ka ni Mark sa ilalim ng bleachers at pinasandal ka sa isa sa mga lockers na nakalagay rito. “What the fuck was that?” tanong sa’yo ng lalaki.

Hindi mo alam ang sagot mo kaya pinili mo na lamang na manahimik.

“You were doing that on purpose, right?” dagdag niya habang humahakbang palapit sa’yo. With the way he’s looking straight into your eyes, you can’t help but to feel small in front of him.

“Answer me love,” he whispered once he’s too close that you can feel his breathe. “I know what game you were playing, love. Intentionally making me jealous while sitting pretty over there wearing my favorite skirt,” he said as he plays with the hem of your skirt.

“Mark…please,” you begged. You weren’t sure what you were begging for but the wetness you feel between your thighs is starting to bother you.

You gasped when Mark suddenly cupped your clothed pussy, feeling all the wetness you were trying to hide. “Aww, is my princess already wet when I didn’t do anything yet?” he mocked at you.

You helplessly nodded at him while holding his wrist. “Please love, do something.” naiiyak mong sambit sa kaniya.

“Hmm…my princess is being naughty today isn’t she? I feel like I need to remind you who can only make you feel good,” he started to push aside your panties and played with your wetness. “But coach only gave us 20-minute break.”

‘Di mo na rin mapigilan masarapan ng pinasok ng lalaki ang dalawang daliri sa loob ng ari mo. “Do you think you can cum for me before I need to head back?” tanong sa’yo ng lalaki sa tenga mo.

“Y-yes Mark, please make me cum” you moaned.

Napapalakas na ang mga ungol mo kaya tinakpan ng nobyo mo ang bibig mo gamit ang kaniyang kabilang kamay. “Gusto mo bang may makahuli sa’tin dito, love? I bet you like that because you’re a freak, huh?” sabi niya habang binilisan ang pag-finger sa’yo.

“Fuck don’t stop Mark” ungol mo sa kamay niya. Nakatulong naman ang kamay na nasa bibig mo upang walang makarinig sa mga ungol mo pero mukhang mahuhuli naman kayo dahil rinig na rinig ang pag-aabuso ng nakakatanda sa puke mo.

Maya-maya, naramadaman mo ng linabasan ka na at ang mga tuhod mo ay nanghina. Hindi ka pa nakaka-recover at nagulat ka nang pinatalikod ka ni Mark and removed your soiled panties. “Tangina ka love, tinitigasan ako sa’yo.”

He lowered his shorts and boxers, just enough to make his hard cock spring free. Naramdaman mo rin na tumusok ito sa iyong pwetan kaya you wiggled your ass as invitation which made him slightly spank on it.

“Fucking slut, so eager to get fucked.” he groaned when he effortlessly inserted his cock to your entrance.

Mark didn’t wait for you to get used to his huge size at sinimulan ka ng kantutin ng malakas. Napahawak ka na rin sa locker sa lakas ng bawat bayo niya.

“Sa lahat ng tao na pwede mo kong pagselosin, kay Haechan pa talaga,” napakagat labi ka na lang nang lalo pa itong nanggigil noong naalala niya ang mga nakita niya kanina.

Naging walang silbi rin ang pagpigil mo sa mga ungol mo nang hinila ng lalaki ang buhok mo kaya napilitan kang itingala ang ulo mo. When Mark saw your face filled with pleasure, he swears to God, he almost came right then and there.

His thrusts never faltered for the next few minutes and his gripped on your hip became tighter. Nakakaramdam ka na ng ngalay pero handa kang tiisin to, lalo na at alam mong lalabasan ka na muli.

Binitawan na ng lalaki ang buhok mo at piniling lamasin ang suso mo. You also started to meet his thrusts halfway kasi alam mong may maghahanap na kay Mark sa ilang sandali.

“Fuck princess, you feel so tight” he groaned.

Nararamdaman na ni Mark na malapit na siyang labasan kaya pinaglaruan na niya ang clit mo upang labasan ka na rin. “Shit Mark, you feel so good,” mahina mong sabi sa kaniya.

Later on, you felt Mark spill his seed inside you and bit your shoulder to refrain himself from being too loud. It didn’t take long for you to hit your climax as well, especially when he didn’t stop playing with your clit.

Pagkatapos niyong magpahinga ng sandali, dahan-dahan ng tinanggal ni Mark ang kaniyang tite sa puke mo at kumuha ng malinis na twalya upang gamitin pampunas ng kaniyang tamod sa hita mo.

Alam mong tapos na ang breaktime ng nobyo mo kaya binilisan mo ang pag-ayos sa sarili mo. Noong sigurado na kayong maayos na lahat, you carefully went out of your spot, ngunit bago siya bumalik sa court, bumulong muna siya sa’yo.

“Akala mo tapos na tayo? Mamaya ka sakin pag-uwi natin, love”

[FIN.]

ediyoonoh '23

[irl-dogboy]

i like him a normal amount. prommy

[littlemoriflower]

Hi! I want to get into mori kei but where i live it's about to be summer and it can get up to 40 degrees celsius. So is there anything mori kei i could wear in the summer? If so please give me outfit inspo, i'm out of ideas

Hello, dear! I hope you are doing well ꒰⁠⑅⁠ᵕ⁠༚⁠ᵕ⁠꒱⁠˖⁠♡

First of all, I'm so happy you want to get into mori kei!! ^o^ I hope you are able to find comfort in this wonderful style, as well as in the community! Ask as many questions to as many people as you want, I promise we are all nice and willing to help! -`♡´-

Now, since it's starting to get toasty where I live, let me say that wearing mori in hot weather is damn near torture. ｡°(°.◜ᯅ◝°)° I understand your pain! The real problem here is the layering, which is a big part of mori as a whole. However, you can get away with wearing less layered outfits and still have that "mori look".

What do I mean by this?

Well...Let me make a list! ^^

1. Tops:

First and foremost, try to go for thinner, loose fitting blouses, tops, tunics or shirts. These are usually pretty easy to layer underneath a thinner, flowy dress (or even the opposite, depending on the type of coord you're aiming for!) and get that mori kei look without getting too hot!

Aim for short sleeves (or even those with straps/strapless), with natural, breathable materials like cotton or linen, and don't worry about layering too much, as it will cause you to get too hot!

2. Bottoms:

For the bottoms, try to look for flowy skirts (long, midi or short--remember, it will always come down to preference), or even some shorts! These are heaven sent for wearing mori in the summer, trust me! You can layer them underneath a loose tunic or a shorter dress, and put a thin lace vest on top and bam! you have a mori coord right there!

This is a personal preference, but I also like to wear jeans with mori, but those can get pretty hot for some people! If you prefer to wear trousers (or just want to), try to choose those that are flowy, loose and have natural, breathable fabrics. Go for either cotton, linen or denim since those are the most comfortable and breezy.

3. Shoes and Socks:

For shoes, look for something comfortable and not too heavy/hot. Sandals, or even Oxfords, as long as they are breathable and light, are the safest bet for you. Some white or beige cloth snickers will do the trick pretty easily as well, but, like I said, it will come down to preference at the end of the day.

Socks can get your feet pretty hot, but if you still want to use them, look for thinner socks made out of cotton, as those tend to be the lightest on the feet!

4. Accessories:

When it comes to accessories, avoid using anything made out of wool or crochet, as the materials are usually heavier and will make you hotter! Instead, opt for something lighter and easily removable, like pendants or thin bracelets.

Hair accessories are fine for the most part, but avoid any wool hats or anything that is too heavy and go for straw hats, for example! You can also add lace and doilies to them to make them cuter o(≧∀≦)o

If you don't like to accessorize that much, that's fine too!

Here's some examples of summer/hot weather mori coords I found on Pinterest and Tumblr:

Here's also a wonderful video by the lovely Miwako, where she gives some tips for summer mori outfits (go check her channel out, she is great and a HUGE inspiration for me<3):

At the end of the day, the most important part of mori kei is to be relaxed and not stress too much about it! It can be hard in the beginning to nail the coords, and you might feel like giving up. But remember, a mori wardrobe is not built overnight, and it usually takes a while for you to get to a place where you have all the pieces you need (or even want). There will be a lot of trail and error, but I assure you that once you get the hang of it (and once you find your own personal mori look) you won't want to go back! (✿◡‿◡)

I hope I was of any help, and remember to have fun while wearing mori, and be your truest, most authentic self!

[rinsoap]

˚ ༘ ♡⋆｡˚ ﾐ the big seijoh four's favourite artists!

✿²˖ ࣪ ➣ includes : oikawa tooru, iwaizumi hajime, matsukawa issei + hanamaki takahiro

note : sorry ive been inactive as hell w actual hcs or like. real works LMAOO i have been #depressed and #unmotivated LoL! anyways pls tell me u can see suna's influence on iwaizumi i hc that they r friends <33

oikawa tooru :

!!? KALI UCHIS STAN NEVER SPEAK 2 ME AGAIN. he LOVESSS her he is completely convinced isolation was specifically made to cater to him and his exact music taste delusional king fr!! and he gatekeeps her SO HARD like babes as much as i would like to be her top listener too, the 21,158,866 monthly listeners seem like they might be hard to beat 🤔

his favourite songs by kali uchis are :

tyrant - ft. jorgia smith on the isolation album.

i wish you roses (single).

loner on the por vida album.

!!? this artist is not a guilty pleasure no matter how many times he says he's sooo embarrassed he likes carly rae jepson. "omg stop don't tell people i like her that's humiliating omg stop i don't want people to know!!!!!!" he is a LIAR. he will publicly scream every single lyric to every single song she makes, IN FACT he will shamefully make tiktoks on public buses and shit, lip syncing to her songs on full volume (or at least he would if literally all of seijoh didn't tell him to shut the fuck up LMAO)

his favourite songs by carly rae jepson are :

call me maybe on the kiss album.

boy problems on the E•MO•TION album.

felt this way on the dedicated side b album.

!!? —✩⌗ HONORABLE SONG MENTIONS : good days by SZA. heart to heart by mac de marco. oh no! by marina and the diamonds. conceited by flo milli.

iwaizumi hajime :

!!? UGH ANOTHER AMAZING PERFECT TYLER THE CREATOR STAN. OOH I WANNA KISS ALL TYLER FANS ON THE HEAD I FREQUENTLY MAKE OUT W EVERY TYLER FAN EVER!! he's a very loyal listener, he knew him on vine bro like i said in pt 1, he introduced him to suna (while suna takes all the credit lol) he might even have a slight... fixation.. one might call it a.... crush.... but he will never admit it his ego is too big!!

his favourite songs by tyler the creator are :

A BOY IS A GUN on the IGOR album.

garden shed - ft. estelle on the flower boy album.

SWEET / I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO DANCE - ft. brent faiyaz and fana hues on the CALL ME IF YOU GET LOST album.

!!? is it controversial to say he fucks w ice spice.. almost a little too much... he knows all the lyrics to munch which is def something he has in common with oikawa's music taste!!! like at this point they're like pavlov's dog, they are absolutely salivating every single time they hear "stop playin with em riot!"

his favourite songs by ice spice are :

bikini bottom (single).

princess diana on the like..? EP.

in ha mood (single).

!!?—✩⌗ HONORABLE SONG MENTIONS : she likes another boy by oscar lang. attention by new jeans. just a stranger by kali uchis and steve lacy. NASA by ariana grande.

matsukawa issei :

!!? unlike iwaizumi, he will admit his huge crush on brent faiyaz with his ENTIRE CHEST. brent faiyaz his love, his one and only (i am projecting!) <3 most of the content he consumes is brent faiyaz related tbh the algorithm knows him too well and before you ask the burning question on your mind, YES he did almost start a stan twitter in year one!!! makki will never let him live it down as if he didn't ACTUALLY start one for bruno mars..

his favourite songs by brent faiyaz are :

ADDICTIONS on the WASTELAND album.

what you heard (single) by sonder - technically still brent faiyaz.

talk 2 u on the sonder son album.

!!? he really should be ashamed he likes drake tbh. he physically could not compell himself to show anybody his spotify wrapped because almost all drake songs were in his top played. please never ever speak to him about the time he genuinely ugly cried to one dance. he will never elaborate and will probably go and sob to god's plan next.

his favourite songs by drake are :

way 2 sexy - ft. future and young thug on the certified lover boy album.

9 on the views album.

circo loco on the her loss album.

!!?—✩⌗ HONORABLE SONG MENTIONS : love is only a feeling by joey bada$$. small worlds by mac miller. awkward by SZA. finesse (remix) by bruno mars and cardi b.

hanamaki takahiro :

!!? ACTIVELY PUSHING THE MAKKI BRUNO MARS AGENDA!! fuck an evening with silk sonic he wants an evening with bruno 😭 all he is doing every day all day is praying bruno gets his heart broken again so he can drop another DELECTIBLE album!!!!! also him and iwa like to say that since makki is puerto rican and iwa is filipino, together they make one bruno mars <333 (this is a hc dont take it too srsly lol)

his favourite songs by bruno mars are :

that's what i like on the 24k magic album.

treasure on the unorthodox jukebox album.

after last night (with thunder cats & bootsy collins) on the an evening with silk sonic album.

!!? he is a dork and i am a dork soooo i'm gonna have to say he is a the living tombstone stan.... oikawa will go on full rants about how cringey 2020 was and how weird that video game animatronic type music is and he'll look over at makki and see the single tear roll down his face as he says he has no idea the music genre he's talking about 😭

his favourite songs by the living tombstone are :

my ordinary life (single).

drunk on the zero_one album.

jump up, super star! (single).

!!?—✩⌗ HONORABLE SONG MENTIONS : new person, same old mistakes by tame impala. your teeth in my neck by kali uchis. join us for a bite by JT music. ORANGE SODA by baby keem.

[sh1-n0bu]

can u do sub scaramouche w feminization and choking please😁😁

♡︎ 𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙙𝙚𝙧! ♡︎

characters: sub!scaramouche x nb!dom!reader

warnings: choking, feminization, dacryphillia, bondage, dumbification and overstimulation if you squint

notes: sure thing ‘non! i’m sorry if it took so long for me to answer but nothing was popping up in my mind🥲 hope the recipe is to your liking!

doing my weekly ritual of feeding the horny😌

scaramouche sometimes wonders just how you keep putting him in such state. he was formerly the 6th fatui harbinger for fuck’s sake! and here he was, sitting on your shared bed with red ribbons he measly tied his hands with and a lingerie you brought for him as an anniversary gift.

at first when you showed him the gift, he scoffed and threatened you with empty threats and tomato cheeks. but here he was, not even a week later, wearing the same thing he swore that he would never even look at.

checking himself over in the mirror, the former harbinger supposed that he looks good. soft blue satin bras that doesn’t make his skin itch with a cute small bow on top and a matching short skirts that barely covers anything with nothing underneath but the set’s thigh belts, scaramouche just knew you put a lot of thoughts into choosing it. but then again, you always think deeply before doing anything with him. now all he needed to do was to wait for you to come home, it should be around now.

okay, maybe it was a bad idea. maybe wearing such “clothes” without any plans or whatsoever was a bad idea. just as he was about to tear off the ribbons with his teeth, he heard the front door open and close with your voice calling out for him. oh shit, what do he do now? wait for you to enter your shared bedroom? quickly take off the ribbons and act like he’s sleeping?

“love? are you sleepin-?” he’s caught red-handed. if scaramouche’s mind was running miles a minute before it was completely empty now. just a black sheet.

“s-stop staring dumbass. i can see you drooling” perhaps it was true but mostly it was just a lie from scara to run away from the sudden attention placed on him.

he knows he looks good. you always make sure to say that to him every chance you get. in the morning, when making breakfast, during the soft moments with him laying on your chest, hearing your heartbeat or during the lazy moments where you two just hold each other and chitchat about meaningless things. but the sudden attention and your stare boring into his flesh was making him squirm even though you haven’t even touched him yet.

before he can open his mouth to scold you again, you’ve already pushed him back against the bed. whining when you bite his lip, the kiss was messy and wet. salivas exchanged, breathing into each other, your lovely gift whining whenever you pull away.

one hand moving under his short skirt only to find a cute but plug already sitting snuggly in his ass.

“i see you thought things over” chuckling at his dazed expression you pulled out the plug. scaramouche whined when his hole suddenly felt empty. hips twitching, wiggling his ass seemingly trying to entice you. soon enough his whining turned into squeals when your tip entered. he forgot how big you were. his legs were trembling, tears rolling down his cheeks and all you could do was comfort him.

“mffgh-! b-big. [name]’s cock ish soo f-fucking big!” slurred scaramouche. he always gets overstimulated too easily sometimes. chuckling at his cute dumb self you waited for him to adjust. instantly scara was whining while grinding his ass against you.

soon enough the room was filled with dirty wet squelches, skin slapping and your lovers’ muffled screams and squeals. just as you were about to cum scaramouche guided your hand towards his neck, silently begging you. when you gave a gentle experimental squeeze he squirted over his tummy with loud choked scream of your name.

“AAMF! [n-name]! mo-oohre~! p-pleashe! aaHHGKK!” well, you never guessed your lover for the masochist type but there is always room for more.

[bangchanisinmymind]

Chan noticing their s/o and their weight insecurity, like they are not even overweight but the body dysmorphia kicks in hard and he reassures them

hope you realise how beautiful you are and thank you for the request ♡ masterlist

[17:46 pm]

paring; bangchan x reader

"babe are you ready?" chris asks from outside the bathroom waiting for you to get ready for your night out with your friends "almost" you replied "can I come in? I need to fix my hair a bit" he asked rhetorically as he opened the door; you've been living together for long enough to be comfortable sharing the bathroom.

the sight in front of him though was not what he hoped and thought it would, it was you looking your naked self in the mirror, your hair dried since you've been out of the shower for at least another hour. "honey what's wrong" he said hugging you from behind and leaving kisses on your shoulder and collarbone "chris be honest; am I fat?" you said leaving his embrace and standing in front of him "love are you crazy? of course you're not, you got the perfect weight for your height and age what has gotten into you"

"ah I don't know really I just don't feel like perfect as you say. I shouldn't have eaten so much during holidays, don't let me again to eat that much look at my tummy oh god it's huge and my thighs they've gotten so big what am I gonna do?" you explained at your boyfriend who was looking at you with wide eyes, he couldn't believe you were actually saying this.

"love are you kidding, look at you, you don't have to be only bones to be beautiful okay? all you have to do is to be healthy, healthy equals pretty got that?" he says hugging you tightly, so tight you thought he would never let go. "yeah but now I'm fat, now that I eat breakfast, lunch and dinner not to talk about snacks I'll stop eating now and I'll loose weight soon I've done that before there won't be any problem, will be?" you questioned yourself staring at your reflection in the mirror

"yes there will, listen to me, if you want to loose weight you can come with me at the gym but mo diet for you as long as I am here okay? listen to me, you are not overweight you don't need to do anything every girl is jealous of your natural body and I'll never stop saying it until you get it okay?" he said while tracing every part of your body.

"maybe you're right I look kinda good don't I?" you said gaining some confidence again "I am love I always am get dressed now we're gonna be late k?" he said kissing all over your face "yeah alright I'll be quick thank you I love you so much" you said hugging him and immediately started getting ready.

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