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avatar-anna · 2 years

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Better Off

Part Seven

Series Masterlist

I gave myself three days.

Three days to be sad and miserable, to cry and let myself feel truly heartbroken. To let everything I felt for Harry wash over me until I was hollow.

Not that anyone but myself knew that, of course. To everyone else, I was the exact same. Harry’s decision didn’t affect me in the slightest. To Sadie, to my brother Javi, to Maddie, to Harry himself, I was perfectly fine.

And after those three days, I was. I decided that I wasn’t actually in love with Harry, I couldn’t have been. I cared for him and Devon deeply, but I was caught up in everything that happened that day at the school. Emotions were heightened, and a feeling I foolishly identified as love took over my body. I was just thankful I never got the chance to tell Harry.

Days turned to weeks then weeks turned to months. I saw Harry, obviously. Devon and Maddie were in the same class, and they were still best friends. But I kept all contact with Harry strictly about play dates and the occasional question about upcoming events at school or homework assignments. In those first initial days, Harry tried to call, tried to text asking to talk, but I refused. My pride as well as my heart had been hurt when he told me we should stop seeing each other, and I couldn’t face him. He finally realized that when the only texts I responded to was a request for Maddie and Devon to play at his house.

Not seeing Devon as much killed me too. I don’t know what Harry told his son, nor did I really want to know, but I missed him as much as I missed Harry, and the little glimpses I saw of him after school or picking Maddie up from a play date was like a punch to the gut. I didn’t think I could care for someone so much, could love a child that wasn’t mine like he was, but most of the time I found myself worrying about Devon, hoping he was safe and happy.

The next time I saw Harry outside of pick up and drop off was purely coincidence.

Three months had gone by since I walked away from his doorstep, since he told me we should slow down so as not to give Devon the wrong idea about who I was to him.

I’d seen glimpses of Harry, of course, but I made sure to keep my head down and look the other way when I felt his gaze burning my skin. There were unsaid words in those glances, words I didn’t even want to entertain. So I didn’t.

Sadie seemed to be the only person who seemed to think my cool demeanor was bullshit. She never believed me when I told her I was fine, or that I thought my breakup with Harry was for the best, a good idea, even. But I never left much room for debate, so she kept her thoughts to herself for the most part.

Now she was insisting I go out, to not let my failed attempt at a relationship with Harry ruin my outlook on love or casual dating. She urged me to, “get back out there,” and to, “have some no-strings fun.” I was pretty sure she was testing my limits as much as actually urging me to see someone other than Harry, but I never called her out on it.

I had been able to put nights out off for the first two months, but now that it was post-Christmas and Maddie was spending the weekend with her grandparents, I didn’t have much of a choice.

After running into an old law school classmate who invited me to some fancy party, Sadie insisted that I go, for no other reason than to get dressed up for once. Since I wouldn’t have to pick Maddie up until the following afternoon, I virtually had no obligations for the weekend.

So I was going, even though I didn’t really want to. Sadie was at the house with me to get ready, and to make sure I actually went to the party tonight.

“I don’t think I have anything fancy enough for a party like this.”

My friend told me it was, “just a New Year’s get together,” but I knew it was much more than that. I knew the kind of friends he had as a corporate lawyer, and the location of said get together alone was enough proof that whatever I had in my closet was not sufficient.

“What’s this then?” Sadie asked. She’d been scavenging my closet for something to wear, not believing me when I told her that all I had were work clothes and jeans.

I looked from the small mirror where I’d been doing my makeup to where Sadie was standing by my closet, a brown mini dress on a hanger dangling from her hand. My head immediately shook as I took in the length and structured bust, thinking it was much too revealing for me. I bought it years ago, thinking I would have more nights out as a young mother. Reality hit soon after, and the dress had stayed in the closet ever since. I was pretty sure the tag was still on it.

“Sadie, no. It probably doesn’t even fit—”

“Nonsense, go try it on. We’re running out of time,” she insisted.

Sadie thrust the dress in my direction, and all the micro glitters caught in the yellow light of my bedroom. I took it from her hands, knowing it would be easier to show her it didn’t look good rather than argue with her about it. Shedding my robe, I stepped into the dress, the silk slip on the inside of the dress cool against my skin.

To my surprise, the dress fit. It was definitely short, but that was more the style than me outgrowing it. It didn’t even snag on my hips uncomfortably the way I thought it would. The only thing that made me hesitate was the way it accentuated my chest, which had never really changed back to its original size after having Maddie.

Looking down at where I was almost spilling out of the bust of the dress, I said, “I don’t know, Sadie. I think this is a fancier event. I look—”

“You look hot,” she said her eyes wide as she took me in. “Y/n, this—this is it, babe.”

“Really? You don’t think it’ll give Nathan the wrong idea?”

“And what would that be?”

I frowned. “That it’s a date.”

Rolling her eyes, Sadie came over and swiped a bottle of perfume off my dresser. When she held it out to me, I lifted my chin, then tilted it down so she could spray my neck and head. Taking my little clutch off the bed, she stuck the small bottle in it.

“Y/n. A former classmate—a successful lawyer, I might add—asked you to his company’s fancy New Year’s Eve party. If that doesn’t scream date, I don’t know what does.”

She was right, I knew she was. But no matter how many times I told myself and everyone around me that I was over Harry, the mere idea of going out with someone else made my stomach churn.

“Unless you don’t want it to be and are maybe wishing you were spending the holiday with someone else?” Sadie asked gently. When all I did was look down at the floor, she added, “It’s okay to miss him, Y/n. It’s okay to admit—”

“I’m fine,” I said, hoping my friend thought the conviction in my eyes was genuine. “Nathan’s not going to know what to do with himself when he sees me. Right?”

I could tell Sadie didn’t quite believe me when I said I was fine, but we'd known each other long enough to know when and when not to push. Smiling she said, “Absolutely.”

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The party was at a botanical garden a few miles outside of downtown, but that didn't make it any less fancy or luxurious. I almost didn’t want to hand my coat over to the coat check as I watched people wearing designer suits and dresses strut through the beautifully decorated archway, but there was a line behind me, so I shrugged it off and headed inside.

Elegant string music was playing in the garden. There were two open bars on either side of the space, dance floor taking up the middle, and dinner tables carefully placed around it. Everything was lit warmly by light bulbs hanging from above, with twinkly lights wrapped around the vines and leaves and lanterns lighting pathways throughout the garden.

Flowers were everywhere. Countless types in varying size and color decorating tables and hanging from trees and sitting in potted plants. I felt like I stepped into an alternate universe, my eyes wide as I took it all in.

“There you are!”

I startled a little. In my intense inspection of the venue, I hardly paid attention to my surroundings. Nathan was in front of me, and while I’d run into him a week ago, it was still odd to see him standing there in a suit that was tailored to perfection—a classic black suit, but with a sweater in lieu of a vest, the cuffs peaking out beneath his suit jacket.

I’d done most of my law schooling online, but the times I did have to be in person, Nathan was the person I sat with. He was kind and smart and never judged me for being a mother at my age. He helped me take notes and later became my study buddy for tests and quizzes. After a while, he’d asked me out, but I was nowhere near prepared to fit dating into my life. Maddie was just a baby and I was working to pay bills. It was one of those wrong place wrong time kind of things, and while Nathan took it well, we lost touch soon after.

Seeing him now was like going back in time. He hadn’t changed much—his dark blonde hair was still the same, except that it was a little shorter, he still sported a tiny bit of stubble around his cheeks, and his eyes were still a warm brown, like hot chocolate. His smile was genuine as he leaned in to kiss my cheek in a friendly manner, not once looking me up and down in a way that made me cringe.

“Hi,” I said, a smile of my own creeping up my face, like I couldn’t help but reciprocate.

“You look beautiful,” he breathed, then blushed, like he hadn’t meant to say that out loud. “Sorry, was that too forward?”

“Not at all,” I said, hiding a smile behind my hand. “I honestly feel a little under dressed.”

“You’re perfect,” he said. “Sorry, I did it again. Sorry.”

He was so nervous it was cute. Everything about him was cute. Nathan’s cheeks were flushed, but his eyes were still crinkled with a smile. I hadn’t wanted to come out tonight, but as he offered his arm to me, I was glad that I did this for myself.

“Y/n?”

And then the giddiness popped like a bubble.

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“So...how do you two know each other?”

Nathan, bless his heart, was either oblivious of the awkward tension at the table or wholly ignored it, trying to fill the silence with easy questions, but his most recent one was anything but.

“Our kids go to school together.”

“We dated for four months.”

If Harry’s answer affected Nathan in any way, he didn’t show it (one of the perks of being a lawyer, I supposed). But at the mention of kids, his eyes lit up.

“How is Maddie, by the way? I haven't seen her since she was just a baby!”

The same smile that always showed up at the mention of my daughter made its way onto my face. “Great! She had a Christmas recital last week, and it was so cute. Look.”

I immediately pulled my phone out of my clutch and showed him pictures and videos of Maddie dancing with the rest of her team. Nathan watched with genuine curiosity, a small smile pulling at his lips as he watched my video of her five second solo.

“Wow, I mean...you’ve clearly got a prima ballerina in the making here,” he said.

“I know, right? And, you know, I would never make her do something she doesn’t want to do. I even tried to sign her up for soccer last week, but she just wants to dance,” I said, leaning toward him subconsciously.

My eyes widened in surprise. “Yeah. You remembered?”

“Well, she clearly gets it from her mother. You used to dance, didn’t you?”

“Of course. You—”

“So, how do you two know each other?”

Harry’s voice cut through our conversation like a lance. When I looked over, he was holding his glass with a white-knuckle grip, his green eyes hard as they bored into mine.

Not only did I not expect to see Harry tonight, but I wasn’t expecting such a reaction from him, either. I thought things were fine. I missed him a lot, but apparently we both had good poker faces whenever we briefly met for play dates.

I was used to seeing him in slacks and a dress shirt for work, but what he was wearing tonight went beyond work attire. His suit was plaid, with a bow tie of the same pattern to match. His slacks were flared at the bottom, and the vest beneath his suit jacket dipped into a low U-shape to reveal a light blue dress shirt beneath. He looked devastatingly handsome, and when I’d made eye contact with him thirty minutes ago, my breath hitched in my throat.

Looking at him so intensely now brought back the same effect, to the point where Nathan had to nudge my arm. Harry smirked at that, at the idea of rendering me speechless, but I did my best to recover.

“Um...Nathan and I had a couple of classes together in law school. He—He does corporate law, though.”

For the company Harry worked at, apparently. It was the only way to explain why he was here.

Nathan began speaking, but I had a hard time focusing. My eyes fell on the slope of Harry’s neck as he turned slightly to face Nathan, though I knew he could tell I was staring. I tried to look away, but I couldn’t, I’d only seen glimpses of him the past few months, and now I was taking him in properly. He hadn't shaved in a while, stubble darkening the lower part of his face. I absolutely loved his facial hair, had made it clear to him in the moments we were alone together in his bed.

And his suit fit perfectly too. I'd come to learn that Harry had a taste for expensive, well-made clothes, and this suit was the pinnacle of his interest. The sleeves of his suit jacket hugged his shoulders, accentuating the muscles in his arms. I could only imagine what his legs looked like while he was sitting, the muscles in his thighs straining against the fabric. My toes curled as my thoughts wandered about Harry, even when my date was right next to me. It had to be that he was dressed up, it had to be, otherwise, I would’ve been able to exert a little self-control—”

Something brushed against my leg at the table.

At first I thought one of the other women sitting here was crossing their legs and I got caught up in it, but then it happened again, and that was certainly not a heel.

My eyes widened as my neck flushed hot. Harry wasn’t looking at me at all, but he tested his face in his hand as he listened to Nathan, almost like he was hiding a smile. Then a dimple flashed as the brush went higher, from my ankle to my calf, and brushing against my knee until I quickly clasped my legs together to keep his foot in place.

Only my actions jolted the table, and now everyone sitting around it was staring at me.

“You okay?” Nathan asked, his brow wrinkled with concern.

“Y—Yes. Sorry, I—I just wanted to get up and grab a drink, and I—my knee hit the table. I’m sorry, excuse me.”

Nathan offered to get a drink for me, but I declined. I needed to put some distance between myself and the table, between myself and the menace sitting across from me.

As I walked away, I called Sadie, praying she picked up. Thankfully, she did.

“He’s here!” I hissed.

“Who?” she asked, though it was hard to hear her on the other side of the call.

“Who do you think?” I replied.

“Harry? Oh shit!”

“Yes, and he’s playing fucking footsie with me under the table while my date is right next to—”

“So you are on a date.”

It was so similar to Sadie’s reply, I almost didn’t take note of it, but I could feel him behind me, the smell of his cologne invading my senses and not helping my frenzied state at all.

“Y/n? You there?”

“I have to go,” I said, before hanging up and facing Harry. With an attitude I didn’t necessarily feel, I said, “Am I not allowed to go on dates?”

Harry shrugged like he didn’t care, and I briefly wondered how much of it was an act, if he had to put up a cool in front of his friends and family too. “You are, I just think it’s rude to ogle someone who’s not your date.”

Frowning, I said, “I was not ogling.”

His brows raised as if to say, really? “Don’t lie, Y/n. It’s unbecoming.”

Before I could respond, it was my turn at the bar. “Two shots of tequila, please.”

Harry’s brows raised further, but didn’t say anything. When the bartender slid two full shots of tequila towards me, Harry reached for one, but I smacked his hand away, drinking both in quick succession before ordering a margarita with a double shot.

“You took those like a champ,” he said before ordering something himself. Before I could get my credit card out of my clutch, Harry was sliding his own across the table and motioning to the bartender that he was covering my tab.

Instead of complaining, I said, “In that case, one more shot please. Don Julio blanco.”

Harry rolled his eyes but didn’t object, flashing two fingers to let the bartender know he wanted one as well. “Cheers,” he mumbled, clinking my glass against his.

When we were done and both had our drinks, we walked back toward our table. Before we sat down, though, I stopped him. We were just out of earshot of our table, so I spoke freely.

“You broke up with me,” I said. Harry looked like he wanted to say something, but I held up a hand, my arm already feeling a little heavy from the tequila. “You broke up with me, and I respected your reasoning. Please respect me and my date.”

“Come on, Y/n, really? You’re telling me that you’d rather go home with that guy than—”

“I never said I was going home with anyone. I said he was my date,” I said, stepping away from him.

Harry clearly saw his mistake. “I know, but come on, Y/n—”

“But nothing," I said, trying my best to ignore the hitch in my voice. "And it’s none of your business either way, Harry. Just leave us be,” I said. I left him standing there, mumbling under my breath, “In love with him my ass. More like in irritation with him.”

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The rest of the night, I did my best to avoid Harry. My heart still stung at being rejected before I even had the chance of truly opening up to someone in a way I never had before. No amount of flirting or lusting glances would change that.

So I drank. I drank and I laughed and I pretended that I wasn't fully aware of Harry's eyes on me the whole time.

Whether it was because he sensed the tension between Harry and me, or he just understood the general feeling of not wanting to be around an ex, Nathan happily avoided Harry with me. We talked and danced, catching up on the last few years. I asked him about his job and I told him about mine and all about Maddie. It was easy to forget about everything else happening around me when I got to brag about my daughter, and having Madison at the forefront of my mind kept my head clear.

Nathan was ever the gentleman, almost exactly like I remembered him from school. He was sweet and cute and kind, but anytime I caught him glancing down at my lips, I found an excuse to slip away to the bathroom for another drink. I just...wasn't attracted to him that way, though part of me wished I was. Nathan was safe. He had a steady job, he didn't have a kid enrolled in the same school as mine, he should've been the one I was attracted to, the one I wanted to kiss at midnight.

But he just wasn't.

"I think I should probably head home," I told him. It was half an hour before midnight, and I didn't want the awkwardness of rejecting any advances at the countdown tonight. "I have to be up early to pick up Maddie."

A lie, but Nathan bought it thankfully.

"Of course, I totally understand," he said, and I felt a little bad for lying to him. "Can I call you an Uber?"

"Oh no. I got it. It was great seeing you, Nathan."

Nathan smiled and leaned in to give me a hug. "I hope things work out with him," he said softly.

My whole body froze. I immediately felt bad. Clearly, he could tell that my mind was in two places tonight. "I—"

"It's fine, Y/n. I'm just glad we got to catch up. Don't be a stranger, okay?"

I left shortly after that in a daze. I didn't even know if I wanted things to work out with Harry, but Nathan clearly saw something I didn't. Even so, I was much too inebriated to think that deeply. In all honesty, I was surprised I was still walking around in my heels.

Away from the party, all the alcohol I'd consumed tonight seemed to catch up with me. I fumbled with my phone, only to drop it in the grass outside the garden where the party still continued. Muttering under my breath, I started to crouch down to look for it when a hand gently grabbed my arm.

"I got it."

I watched with bleary eyes as Harry turned the flashlight on his phone on to find mine. I was too cold and too tipsy to protest, so I let him, thanking him quietly when he handed it over.

"Need a ride?"

Harry didn't ask where Nathan was, or why I was leaving the party by myself, which I was thankful for. The sensible thing to do would've been to say no, to tell him I was fine on my own, but I just nodded quietly and let him lead me to his car.

It was painfully silent. Even drunk, I could feel it. Harry opened the door for me without a word, and kept up the silent treatment as he peeled away from the party. The quiet skittered over my skin in a way that had me shifting in the expensive leather seats of Harry's car. I couldn't handle it, couldn't suffer through the silence all the way back to my house.

"How...How's Devon?"

Perhaps it wasn't my place to ask, but it was the only thing I could think of in the moment. And I wanted to know how he'd been doing since his episode at the school. He seemed fine the few brief moments I saw him, but I tried to keep my distance out of respect for Harry's wishes.

"Okay for the most part. His grandparents want custody now, and they...they could actually pull it off."

"I'm so sorry, Harry." Hesitantly, I rested my hand over his, an offering of friendly comfort.

I was surprised Harry was so forthcoming about his situation at home, but I also knew he didn't have many people he talked to about all of this. My heart broke for him and Devon. I knew how hard Harry was working to win this custody battle, to give his son the life he deserved. Nothing about Harry and Devon's situation was fair, which made me partly understand why he asked to slow things down between us. I knew he had a lot going on in his life, I just wished I hadn't grown so attached.

"I understand why you did it, Harry. I just..."

"Me too," he said, voice clipped, like he was trying to hold all of his emotions in. Clearing his throat and putting the hand beneath mine on the steering wheel, he said, "And—And I'm sorry for ending things so abruptly. I should have—"

"Just what?" he asked.

My voice trailed off. I wasn't ready to have this conversation. I didn't know if I ever wanted to have it. Because not admitting just how deep my feelings went for him saved me a lot of embarrassment, saved me from the realization that perhaps I was the only one who felt that way. I had been prepared to open up to Harry that day three months ago, but even in my drunken state I wouldn't say the words aloud.

I shook my head, opting to look out the car window instead of answering him. I shouldn't have said anything at all.

"He misses you," Harry said quietly.

"I miss him too," I said, blinking rapidly.

My eyelids grew heavy then, about as heavy as my heart felt.

Before, the cat-and-mouse game Harry and I played was frustrating and annoying and enticing all at once. He drove me crazy, but he excited me too. There were hints of it tonight at the party, but I couldn't bring myself to play along. Not when I knew there would be no end I would be satisfied with. There were still feelings and words left unsaid, but the things Harry was dealing with were bigger than my feelings, and while that was a tough pill to swallow, I had to find a way to do it. For Devon's sake.

I rested my head against the window, the glass cool against my forehead. The road ahead was smooth enough that I was being lulled to sleep, and I didn't try to fight it. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Harry, who looked so handsome in his suit. I wondered if he knew he didn't have to carry the weight of everything he was dealing with on his own. I hoped he had someone to talk to. I hoped he would be alright.

"I just thought I was in love with you."

The words were slurred, practically jumbled together as the hum of the car's engine lulled me to sleep.

#harry styles #harry styles au #single dad!harry #single mom!reader #harry styles one shot #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles oneshot #harry styles x reader #harry styles writing #harry styles x you #harry styles blurb #harry styles angst #harry styles imagine #harry styles fluff

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animebw · 27 days

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Man, what a shitty way to end the season.

Well, that's Superstar Season 2 finished. And for whatever reason, the thought I keep coming back to is this one line from Bojack Horseman where he calls himself "A xerox of a xerox of a xerox." When something is copied over and over again, each new copy gets a little duller, a little vaguer, a little less certain of what it used to be in the first place. Love Live has been going on for over a decade now, with new installments almost every year. It is no longer the firework bursting spectacularly in open air; it's the leftover ash from that fireworks as it descends of the sky, still vainly trying to shine just as brightly as before.

And it feels tired.

For all the wonderful energy of Superstar, all the gorgeous art direction and animation and direction, it feels so, so tired.

There are absolutely things I like about this season. Even things I love. Keke and Sumire's episode alone prevents me from calling this a bad season of Love Live. Not to mention how wonderful Shiki and Mei are. But every new iteration of this series feels like more and more of its magic is draining away. School Idol Project was nothing short of a miracle, a lightning-in-a-bottle conflagration of optimistic euphoria that made me believe in the power of idols like nothing had ever done before. But Sunshine struggled all throughout its run to match up to that miracle, and it only really managed to do so when its movie finale came around. Nijigasaki swung for the fences to try something fresh and interesting, but all it resulted in was a crushingly hollow disaster. And even with Superstar bringing back SIP's director, Jukki Hanada in the writer's chair, it only ever feels like it's playing the hits without justifying its own existence. It has no idea how to make this new self, this new chance, a worthy contender to stand on the same stage as its ancestors. And if even the best creative team to ever work on Love Live can't figure out how to keep Love Live from stagnating... then what hope is there for anyone else?

Truthfully, part of me wonders if Hanada is just tired of it all. He's been writing original scripts for this franchise for over a decade, and even with someone else handling Nijigasaki, there are still very few gaps between the entries he has a hand in. That's a long time to write the same kind of story, trapped in the same kind of formula, no doubt with countless corporate mandates to prioritize lest he "tarnish" the pristine image of idols with anything too dangerous or exciting. As much as I love Hanada's work, I can't help but think that sounds like the most soul-crushing cycle to be stuck in. And if you think that's just me projecting, well... do you remember that other original music anime Hanada just came out with? The one that's all about angst and punk spirit and shouting in defiance of society's norms? A series that, in contrast to Superstar, feels truly electric and explosive and bursting with the undeniable spirit of something born of passion too powerful to contain? Where one of the co-protagonists' backstory is her old band was forced to rebrand with specifically idol aesthetics to stay marketable in a world with little place for the scrappy, raw, unapologetic honesty of the rock music they started out with?

youtube

Yeah, suffice to say, I wouldn't be surprised if Hanada saved all his best ideas and creative passion for the start of something new and special instead of spending it all on his third rodeo at a steady paycheck.

So where does Superstar go from here? I honestly don't know. We've got a third season coming up just this October- a first for this franchise- so there's no telling what to expect. Personally, I hope it leans fully into that cartoon-world magical-girl energy I talked about before; the more it can stake its own identity, the better chance it will have to justify itself when all is said and done. But more than anything, I wonder how long it will be before Love Live just... stops being special entirely. Until the magic is truly all used up and the horrific emptiness of Nijigasaki becomes the rule rather than the exception. Until this series that truly made me believe in something starts to leave me feeling just as hollow about idols as I was before I picked it up.

And that is far too tragic a fate for me to accept.

The first Love Live was special. It will always be special. And I think Sunshine was, eventually, able to earn its place by SIP's side. But Muse themselves knew that sometimes, the only way to be special is to put everything you have into a single beautiful moment and leave everything else behind when you're done. I'll still watch Superstar season 3, and hopefully it's good, but after that? It might be time for me to leave this franchise behind. The memories of this series at its best will always matter more then endless failed attempts to measure up to that high bar. Cherish the magic we've made, and don't let time and exhaustion steal that away from you.

To those who found me through my Love Live posting, thank you for being here. I hope you enjoyed my thoughts, positive and negative alike, and I hope you stick around as my journey through anime's history continues. I will always celebrate Love Live for what its best efforts mean to me; whatever the future holds, that will never change. I can only hope whatever comes next for these creators will be just as singular and special. But Superstar season 2, for all its charms, is getting no higher score than 5.5/10 from me. The dream is coming to an end soon; and I, for one, am ready to wake up and see what new sights await in the light of day.

Speaking of, I think I have another poll to make...

#anime #tabw #the anime binge watcher #love live! superstar!!#love live superstar #love live!#love live #2013 aniwatch #Youtube

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theinstagrahame · 2 months

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Another month and a bit, got some more great games coming through! It's time for the indie/small press RPG mail call round-up!

Die - Bizarre Love Triangles: I generally love Rowan, Rook and Deckard's work, and really enjoyed the roughly half that I read of The Wicked and the Divine by Kieron Gillen. So, the original book was a match made in heaven for me. The promise of a Collectible Card Game adventure for it? Done. Sold. I'm there, and sign me up.

Inevitable: I think a lot of people had similar reactions when they pulled Inevitable out of its box: Whoa, this is big. The last few books have been closer in size to the middle row of books, but there's apparently too much ruined Western Arthuriana for one book to contain. Played this on a stream, it's good.

Yazeba's Bed and Breakfast: I honestly can't wait to dig into Yazeba's, because it seems like the kind of game we need more of. It's that Found Family experience, the whole character-based gameplay that people love, but also designed to really keep things fresh even on repeat playthroughs. I'm really curious to finally dig in.

Wickedness: This was offered as an Add-on to the Yazeba's Backerkit, and I was intrigued by the pitch: You and two other players form a coven, and you do queer witch stuff. It's a beautifully made book, and I've got a lot of friends who I think would dig it.

Songbirds 3e: I picked up an earlier edition of Songbirds in an Itch Charity Bundle, and was really intrigued by the game. Snow does amazing things with layout and vibes, and is a really excellent game designer. I really wanted that edition in hard copy, but never found it, so a third edition was an instant get.

Kids on Bikes 2e: I know KoB mostly through the Brits on Bikes podcast, and I really enjoyed the system. I love systems that make use of all the dice in interesting and fun ways, and I really couldn't wait to see what a new edition would look like.

Apocalypse Keys - Doomsday Delights: I've recently been reading the Hellboy comics, and thoroughly enjoying them. I also already have Apocalypse Keys, which does an incredible job of making the comic even more queer, so completing the set with the fun stretch goal books was kind of an obvious call.

The Wolf King's Son: Vincent and Meguey Baker make amazing games, including the engine that runs so many of the games I like. I've been following their recent series of zines, and this popped up in that feed. I haven't checked out Under Hollow Hills, but even based on what I've seen from this, it's a must-have.

Pitcrawler: Wizards are the 1%, and we Pitcrawlers, disposable adventurers, are here to rob from the rich. It ticks all my boxes, and it looks good doing it. The campaign also hit while I was about halfway through my Magnus Archives listen, so it was an instant back for me.

Outliers: Everything Sam Leigh makes slaps, so yeah. Weird corporate science horror? Solo adventures? Hell, even the Far Horizons Co-op association really got me.

Here we Used to Fly: Picked this up also because of @partyofonepod, who played a really beautiful and bittersweet episode with the creator. I have always been a little too anxious as an adult to consider breaking into an old theme park, but I definitely have my share of fun memories of them as a kid. I'm also starting to envision other games this would pair really well as an epilogue to, should I ever get back into the AP scene.

Another game has arrived in the mail since I started this, but that's gonna be next month's first game, I guess!

#ttrpg #indie ttrpg #indie ttrpgs

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mechaknight-98 · 3 months

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In defense of the author

A rare literary criticism from a smut writer

Recently I had a chat with my nameless friend who is also a fanfic writer, together we talked about literary theory and criticism.

As usual, he brought up “The Death of the Author” which is the fundamentally worst and least media-literate theory. Allow me to explain using The Boys. Something I can talk loads about because I hate both the comic and the TV show.

For those who don't know what “The Boys” is, it is a multimedia franchise about a series of men killing superheroes. That started out as a comic by Garth Ennis.

Recently I have been seeing the increasing sentiment that the show is better than the comic. Which is super divorced from reality. The comic and the show are two different mediums written for two very different Audiences. The show is a mush of satire directed at celebrity culture and political idolatry that uses the symbolism of superheroes as a thinly (and at times extremely hollow) anti corporate message.

The comic on the other hand is an aggressive send up of every major trend and trope in comics at the time of the early 90-00s. A fact that is completely lost on those who only watch the show or consume very little comic media.

This divide can't be further noted then by the usage of the character Black Noir(pictured above.

Spoilers ahead

In the comic Black Noir is the clone of Homelander the main antagonist through the series and was made as a contingency plan by Voight to deal with Homelander should he ever get out of control. This specific plot point is relevant as around this time many comics were hitting their clone/edgy phase. Where everything had to be as gritty and as dark/convoluted as possible. For example, the death of Superman, the watchmen graphic novel and Spiderman’s infamous clone saga were popular or written around this time. Garth Ennis who had written comics for some time at this point was cynical and jaded about a lot of the industry and so wrote the boys as the logical extremes to a lot of these storylines. This makes the Satire part make more sense as you know what he's satirizing instead of viewing the piece in a vaccum, which most people have done if you have only watched the show or comic movies over the last ten years.

The show takes a different approach. The show makes Black Noir an African American agent of voight who’s main goal is to be their “cleaner” and is unceremoniously killed and replaced. The approisnt bad per say but it lacks a lot of the bite of the comic’s edge because of how its framed in the show, As Homelander is written as one of the true evils and not one of many.

The reveal sucks because the show really hammers home how Homelander isn't special in a way the comic doesn't but doesn't really show it. Like homelander is the definition of big fish little pond and no one can really match him and he can honestly “Do whatever the Fuck he wants” the comic doesn't go as far yet in the reiteration if that point but because it relies on comic logic and reveals the point hits home harder.

How does this tie into death of the author? Well its simple. The show runner for the boys show has gone on numerous rants about how he hates the comic because he thinks its juvenile and edgy for no reason or silly. The issue is that's kinda the point. Is grotesque for the specific point of pointing out how dumb and silly things had gotten in the comic industry. Which was lost as most “superhero” media doesn't follow that trend so much anymore. So the show writer made sweeping changes that are now starting to catch up with his adaption as people begin to lose interest because you can only make the “bad Superman” story so many times before it just gets old. All this is to say typically there is a reason an author goes through the writing process to create a piece and the removal of the author often reomoves critical concepts and context as to a pieces’s point and understanding a piece.

Okay Rant over have a pretty Arin as compensation for listening to me rant

#literary fiction #literary criticism #literary analysis

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kelmcdonald · 2 years

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Getting Shit Done!

Hey hey folks!

November was mostly work focused and December will be too. This month in my discord we’re gonna watch an indie werewolf movie called Wolf of Snow Hollow. I was told it had a dry sense of humor but I haven’t seen it yet. If it interests you, pop into my discord on December 7th at 5pm PST.

Last month I finished Murky Water. It’s all done! I’m getting the whole thing proofread now. Then I’ll repost all the old pages with the typos fixed. There is still a paper shortage so I don’t know if I’m gonna print it right away. Like it would be nice to have a new book for conventions but Cautionary Fables South America will be out next year. So it might be better to hold off with it’s crowdfund until next year.

Another thing I finished is my Failure to Launch comic. Patreon backers have been seeing the pencils posted on Fridays, but I finished coloring and lettering it last weekend. It’s written by Ryan North and will appear in the anthology Failure to Launch: a Tour of Ill-Fated Futures. I’m the editor on the book and it’s gonna be a great book. It’s a light-hearted education collection of inventions and world plans that didn’t get to become reality. Some are because they were based on bad science (like my story is about a man who didn’t account for friction or physics in general) but others fell apart because of corporate greed or government interference. I especially like a story written by Harry “Hbomberguy” Brewis about the first attempt at making a union. That’s gonna crowdfund in February. I’ll make sure to let you all know when it’s up.

While doing all this work I watched a lot of TV. So much it’s a little hard to remember it all. The big stand out is probably Interview with the Vampire. While different from the books, the changes the show made really improved the source material. I especially think the show aging Claudia up a little was a good decision. Her being turned so young in the book and movie does some interesting stuff, it doesn’t quite fit with the series as a whole. Her being older lets her run off of a bit on her own and grow into someone away from Louis and Lestate in a way that she couldn’t in the source material. It makes her interesting and nuanced as a character for the show.

And the actress playing her knocks it out of the park. All the actors in the show do. I also like the reporter being older while interviewing Louis and pushing back on him in the interview more. The whole show is just really well put together. I highly recommend it.

Since I wrapped up a lot last month, this month I’m jumping back into You are the Chosen One. So that will be back as my patreon exclusive comic next month. I’ll post pfds of the previous chapters before I start things up again. I’m sure some folks have forgotten what’s happened since the couple of month break.

I’m also getting ready to jump into the next The City Between story. It’s titled Shards of Reflection. I’m gonna try to experiment a little with the storytelling because the main character is an unreliable narrator. It will be interesting to see how things go and I hope I can pull it off.

And I’m really living up to the cartoon of me spinning plates on the Iron Circus Geekshow. Because this month I also need to try and finish up the graphic novel I’ve been writing, Blue Moon. That’s the werewolf YA book I’m doing with Meredith McClaren. The script is due at the end of December. Or at least the first draft is. But it’s kinda fallen to the side while working on everything else.

I’ll be doing my usual streaming this month on Twitch. With so much going on, sometimes it’s hard to focus. So those two hour streams Tues, Wed, and Thurs really help me get at least my drawing done. One streaming thing that Spike and I are planning is on Christmas day we are gonna stream rimworld. During it we’ll be raising money for charity (but haven’t picked one yet). But it will be on both the Iron Circus Youtube as well as my twitch. We are gonna start at Noon Central and 10am PST. So join us if you don’t have Christmas plans. Also, since twitter is exploding I figured I should list all my social medias. You can follow me at these places.

https://twitter.com/kellhound

https://facebook.com/kelmcdonaldart

https://instagram.com/keldrawscomicsoninsta…

https://cohost.org/Kelmcdonald

https://pillowfort.social/kelmcdonald

https://mastodon.social/@kelmcdonald

https://kelmcdonald.tumblr.com

https://twitch.tv/kelmcdonald

Have a good one! Thanks for your support!

#werewolf #werewolves #iron circus comics #ryan north #comics #webcomics #interview with the vampire #you are the chosen one #the city between #newsletter #twitch #rimworld #kelmcdonald #kel mcdonald

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none-ofthisnonsense · 2 years

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Rewatching Headless: Episode 1 - Part 1

This is going to be quite filled with spoilers (foreshadowing, my dearest love), so it’s all under the cut!

Also, fair warning to long-time Shipwrecked lovers: I have only watched A Tell-Tale Vlog and Kissing in the Rain (and, naturally, Headless), but not Poe Party nor the Case of the Gilded Lily. Don’t expect any references to that. Sorry. (Also: I’m not quite through Unsolved Babesteries yet)

First of all, I love Diedrich’s song. It’s so creepy and funny and joyful and perfectly sets the mood for the rest of the series. It’s also very informative - right from the start, we get informations on the setting through it, and it fills us with suspense. This is done in two ways: first, we see someone running through the woods like their life depends on it (let’s be honest... It does seem like their life ACTUALLY depends on it.) The sign for the town says “Welcome to Historic Sleepy Hollow, Home of the Headless Horseman”. Very informative, too: if you missed what Diedrich was saying, here’s a reminder of where you are and what the story revolves around. That being Headless.

“Where a ghost or a witch might give you a follow”... I mean. They’re not wrong. Matilda’s definitely a witch, we meet other witch characters, and Verla’s status is still undecided but I’m going to classify her as a ghost. A real one. A corporeal one. I don’t know. That’s why I love Shipwrecked.

Diedrich is the narrator. That’s established right from the start. A bard, to tell the story. But we also learn immediately that he’s visible to the other characters (and that he can see them too) (or maybe just Ichabod? It isn’t obvious to a first-time viewer. Again, why I love Shipwrecked.) which makes us rethink what we knew: oh, this is not an omniscient narrator - since he’s living in the story - and he isn’t a character telling the story in hindsight. Stupidly important things.

Ichabod!!! He’s introduced right from the start, love this little guy. (Sean does a wonderful job, too, capturing the uncertainty that’s so fundamental to Ichabod.) He looks around, like he’s not too sure what’s happening - he’s like the viewer at this point. He’s thinking, “what is this weird thing I definitely did not sign up for? Whoa. Did not expect there to be a bard - okay, I’m going to try to roll with it.” And he does! Ichabod doesn’t quite regain his composure completely, but he tries to compliment Diedrich and get him to move on - “Interesting”.

“Again, I just needed directions. To the Old Dutch House?” Several things here. First: he’s been listening to this song before, at the same time as us, and instead of answering, Diedrich took up his bard role. And “the Old Dutch House” (fair warning: I’m not American. I’ve studied some American history but I am FAR from knowledgeable on this subject. This is what I remember from lessons years ago.) also shows us - “old”. This is a story with roots in the past. And “Dutch” - if I’m not wrong, the Northwest of the US was colonised by the Dutch (ex. New York being New Amsterdam at first), so we know that this is in that part of the country.

Diedrich being so disappointed :(( don’t worry, you’ll get to sing some more!

“You’ll just be in a cursed bog” - this is the second time magic is mentioned. It seems like it was more than just poetic license - something is off here, in this place. (I also love the “cursèd?” reminding us that this is happening “live” to the narrator! He doesn’t know either!)

Ichabod gazing uncertainly in the direction indicated - but also looking sort of resolute. Exactly how he acts during the rest of the show! God, I love character introductions. Can you tell?

Ooh. Mysterious metal piece, beautifully decorated. Could this be... foreshadowing?

The “[squelching]” (thank you MKW for your lovely subtitles. THEY ARE SO USEFUL OH MY GOODNESS.) and “cursed bog” sign reminding us that, yes, this is a mystery, but it’s also a comedy. And it’s also what makes Shipwrecked so appealing: I’m pretty sure Ichabod’s reaction is what anyone would do in this situation. He may be the main character, but he’s also just a funny guy.

Oh no. Oh no he’s scared. Oh no whose house did he just barge into. Oh no no no no no who is this woman in here. Hopefully he didn’t mess up.

DOUFFE THE DRAMATICS.

Oh no poor Ichabod is startled. It was all going fine before seeing this terrifying landlord! He tries to regain some sort of countenance and gain some little favour in her eyes - because apparently this new landlady is keen on assiduity and punctuality. (Then again, it’s her fault the house is in the middle of a BOG.)

We get a little more info on Ichabod here: he’s a teacher, going to work in the Sleepy Hollow middle school. So he’s going to be here for a while.

“I’m a man.” “You’re smaller in person.” (aside: I love Douffe’s voice. It’s perfect. I wish I could listen to it on loop for hours.) Welp, there goes that effort - she is shutting down his efforts, but Ichabod isn’t going to let that bring him down and responds with a “thank you”.

(Spoilers for Episode 8 here) Douffe is already shown as hacker, in a moment most of us probably forget but in hindsight is foreshadowing. The action is already being set up and we’re barely 3 minutes in!

Very clear rules that give us an idea of who Douffe is - she does not care. Not remotely. Not even the smallest little bit. She’s a businesswoman.

She’s also not very reasonable. She knows that rent is already very high and raising it even more. Ouch - and now a worry starts to set in: are all inhabitants of Sleepy Hollow like this, or just her? Diedrich seemed fine, but maybe after all he’s not...

Personal check or cash - a reminder that although this is a modern setting, this town is still stuck in the past. And we’re here to discover why.

[I’m going to stop commenting on every little thing now because I’ve spent 40 minutes on this and we’re not even 4 minutes in.] “Get a roommate” - THE PREMISE FOR THE ENTIRE THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (The “and they were roommates” fic Sinéad wrote that started it all.)

Diedrich is back!!! And Ichabod apparently took that advice to heart. (Who wouldn’t when your landlord essentially doubled your rent.)

Diedrich breaking the fourth wall again. I feel you Ichabod, but he’s doing his job! The Bard Union has very strict rules.

SOMEONE’S INTERESTED. WHO.

Quick aparté: I love the filming. And the framing. Just everything about the visuals in this - they really mark Shipwrecked apart from others!

“Colonial Drugs N’ Stuff”. Again: juxtaposition of old and new! I’m sensing a theme.

A mirror. In it we can see Ichabod entering the shop and gazing around. A candelabra is also visible, among other things. (Do I have to mention old and new again?)

MATILDA!!!!!! Now we’ve met 3 characters from Sleepy Hollow. (Ichabod and Rip Van Winkle don’t count.) (Also, yes, she’s my favourite character. With Brom. They’re both my favourites.)

“Good for storing the still-beating hearts of your enemies. Or your inhaler.” Matilda’s been here approximately 3 seconds and already knows what’s up. And she seems to embrace this local spookiness - if the way she’s dressed is any indication. And the way she speaks. And the shop. Look, she’s a witch, okay?

Ah. My favourite quote from Episode 1. “I thought this was a drugstore.” “I can put drugs in it.” Said so nonchalantly, too - Matilda is an enigmatic character who doesn’t seem fazed by anything.

Kat’s here! And no one is going to be surprised when Ichabod inevitably falls in love with her, if the way she’s introduced is any hint. He’s already got a crush after just a few seconds of seeing her, the dear little man!

Quick reminder that this is not a romance movie, or even a story focussed on romance. It may be there, but it’s a side plot. And Matilda reminds us of that. (Also, the only one there not under the spell, which probably says something about her)

Matilda... I love you but... Quick judgement much? (Though this exudes SO MUCH sibling energy. [Coughs in Episode 8.] Speaking as an older sister.

“Ichabod Crane, huh? Sounds made up.” That’s because it is. Not only because, as Ichabod so helpfully informs Kat, all names are made up, but because he’s a fictional character, and the viewer knows this and recognises it as the cheeky little fourth wall joke it is.

Shipwrecked doing their research I see! There’s probably something with the name but I don’t know about it right now. (Feel free to rb and add, or reply if you have anything on this.)

Spooky music. Spooky speech. This wants to creep me out and it’s doing a very good job of it. And the doubt around it - “that’s what they’re going with”. There’s something going on here, and I’m not sure it’s entirely good. I’m also getting tensed up and worried. Shipwrecked is doing a great job. I’m hooked now if I wasn’t before. Now I’m like Ichabod, and he’s asking all the right questions I want answered: “Wait, really? What do you think happened?” His curiosity very much reflects the viewer’s. And Kat leans into it...

...until she doesn’t. And she abruptly makes us return back to reality - right. Okay. I’m not going to know now - but there’s definitely something to know.

“Not everything that happens here is the result of some curse.” (Again: spoiler alert!) Yeah, but a lot of it is... it’s almost too much to be a coincidence. You might need to rethink your worldview there, Kat. (Though I think it’s a wonderful way of showing how prosaic Kat is, after all the loss she’s had to go through - Kat is probably the main character the most rooted in reality, and who doesn’t want to let go of the comfort of knowing things really exist and can be proven. [Is this why she’s attracted to a SCIENCE teacher? It’s funny how Ichabod, whose whole deal is experiments and method, is so ready to suspend his disbelief, while Kat - who we don’t yet think has any reasons to be sus - is unwilling to let herself go.] And yet, when she meets Headless, we can see such a childish wonder in her eyes - because her mother’s dead, but now a piece of her has come back, and if that’s gone back, what else can return? Kat learns to hope again.)

Ichabod is so achingly hopeful it almost hurts, because it’s clear from the very first moment that he may be into her, but she isn’t necessarily into him - as she so violently reminded him a moment ago by reminding him of the role of an adult who can “do what he wants”. She’s also very cynical, and it shows.

Aww, Ichabod is so cute and naive! But the viewer also thinks like him at this point - he’s the only one we’ve been following so far.

He tries, he tries, he thinks she’s okay with him asking her out - and then it’s all for nothing and she’s gone. That must’ve hurt. But it’s not the first deception he’ll face in Sleepy Hollow. [my wording is very intentional here.]

And she’s going, but there’s some quiet, hopeful piano music - maybe it’s not right now, but we can think he’ll eventually get there. Or is the music sad instead of happy, and he’s gotten rejected?

This is so, so good. The unfinished sentence - an echo of Rip Van Winkle’s screams in the start -, the vanishing - linked to his sudden disappearance, turning around and seeing something you didn’t expect - Rip Van Winkle again - all wonderful stuff.

But no! It’s a false alarm! And we’re back to humour, but the memory of before is still just as haunting.

And that’s where I’m concluding my analysis for today! More later.

#headless #shipwrecked comedy #headless series #headless: a sleepy hollow story #shipwrecked #headless shipwrecked

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great-kung-lao · 2 months

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Lately there are times when I feel melancholic about the past. There were so many things I have been passionate about.

Mortal Kombat felt like my everything, but it turned into something unrecognizable by today and I'm no longer invested. I'm hollow towards something I liked very much and the worst part about it is that it's not me, it's Mortal Kombat being in the hands of wrong people that don't care about the fans that came before. If it was a me problem, that's something that can be fixed, but I can't fix how others treat Mortal Kombat. I was excluded by modern version of favorite universe. It is what it is.

DC Universe and comic books in general. Ever since Thor movie I was hardcore into following these interconnected universes. It was exciting. But everything was ruined by too many cooks in the kitchen. Characters and stories stopped being cosistent. When DC Rebirth happened I was actually following every ongoing title, but that reboot was also ruined, especially Superman when Bendis took the charge. Man of Steel movie wasn't followed up how I would've wanted it and ever since Zack Snyder started spreading that particular nonsense about cucked Superman, I was done, I'm out. I don't want to suffer anymore through these incosistencies, constant reboots and dumb author visions. Another chapter I left behind.

Couple of years ago I became huge fan of Percy Jackson and Heroes of Olympus. Those books actually made me passionate about reading again and ever since I have filled my personal library with lots of exciting new books that brought me joy upon reading. But then I learned that Rick Riordan killed Jason Grace in Trials of Apollo and all my passion evaporated. I can't be excited about this franchise anymore because there is only pain to look forward to. I have finished all PJO-verse books accept Trials of Apollo series, because I don't want to have something else be ruined for me again. If I can't control how people do their franchises, then I will control where I'm done with it. Heroes of Olympus has perfect ending and that's where it ends for me. Jason and Piper are together and live happily ever after towards that vision of them old together that Jason saw in Blood of Olympus book.

Star Wars? It ended on Return of the Jedi. This franchise has one of the biggest falldowns in history and I'm afraid it will never recover.

I'm sure there was something else, but I just don't remember anymore because it was most likely ruined as well to the point of no return.

I feel melancholic because it feels like I wasted myself on something that didn't appreciate me back. All my emotional investment wasn't payed off. I payed money for something that didn't deserve it in the end.

I'm afraid that my other favorite things might let me down as well. Though I will always appreciate what I love about those things as they were in the past, I will never be excited about something new and it makes me sad sometimes, because that time when I was emotionally invested was great thanks to people that I connected with thanks to those franchises, but these days we barely chat or don't chat at all and I miss that.

Always be on guard and keep in mind that content you love and enjoy belongs to corporations and is produced by other people and there might come a day when they do something irreversible to the thing you like. Try not to dwell on it too much and move on. Read fanfiction, look for fan art and join a community that concetrates on the good parts of your favorite thing. Find yourself a safe space. It helped me a lot.

#mortal kombat #dc comics #marvel comics #dceu #mcu #percy jackon and the olympians #heroes of olympus #star wars #fandoms #franchises

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ear-worthy · 2 years

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Freakonomics Radio Explores How Economic Theory Affects Us in Three-Part Series

Most people don't think that economists and their grand theories of how the economy works has any effect on our daily lives. It's just pointy-headed academics with tweed jackets postulating about pie-in-the-sky stuff.

The truth is that economists impact how we navigate through our lives in direct ways. For example, American economist Milton Friedman developed the doctrine as a theory of business ethics that states that “an entity's greatest responsibility lies in the satisfaction of the shareholders.” Therefore, the business should always endeavor to maximize its revenues to increase returns for the shareholders.

That theory has been responsible for all sorts of corporate malfeasance (Wells Fargo, Volkswagen, Enron), a flattening of employee wages, massive layoffs to cut costs and make share price targets, and a general hollowing out of the American middle class. In a three-episode podcast series just released, Freakonomics Radio searches for the real Adam Smith, the economist whose theories about free markets and the invisible hand get tossed around so loosely in political discourse (and whose other ideas often get overlooked or ignored).

As host Stephen Dubner says in the intro, “A brilliant and sympathetic man has been turned into a cardboard cutout. Our mission today is to try to turn that cardboard cutout back into the real Adam Smith.” To do so, Dubner travels to Smith’s hometown of Kirkcaldy, Scotland to investigate Smith’s origins, and continues onto Glasgow, where Smith wrote his books. He also interviews a wide array of economists, political scientists, and Adam Smith scholars around the world. “There's many reasons [his] thinking was powerful,” one says. “Interestingly, not the reason that most people think.”

In case you're not a listener, each week, Freakonomics Radio tells listeners things they always thought they knew (but didn’t) and things they never thought they wanted to know (but do) — from the economics of sleep to how to become great at just about anything. As host Stephen Dubner explains in the intro of the first episode, “In Search of the Real Adam Smith,” Smith’s work has long been distorted to fit partisan agendas: “That first book, the one no one reads [The Theory of Moral Sentiments], is essentially a call for what many modern liberals say they believe in: sympathy. The second book, the famous one [The Wealth of Nations], is a call for what many modern conservatives say they believe in: a free-market economy with less government interference. Since most politically motivated people aren’t willing to hold two potentially conflicting ideas in their mind at the same time (or even ever), they often simply ignore the idea they don’t like. In the case of Adam Smith, conservatives have done a better job promoting his views than the liberals, who tend to disparage the free-market Smith without offering the sympathetic Smith as balance. As a result, both sides have turned him into a caricature.” Episode one, “In Search of the Real Adam Smith,” just released, looks at Adam Smith’s life and background – who he was, where he grew up, how he came to publish his two master works – as well as how his ideas were interpreted in America, especially by the Chicago School of economics. Episode two, out the evening of Wednesday, December 14, examines how Smith's ideas have been interpreted by politicians on the right, as well as attempts on the left to reclaim Smith. Episode three, out the evening of Wednesday, December 21, asks how we can make our current economy more Smithian, looking at the anti-big corporate stance seen in his opposition to the East India Company’s territorial expansion in India. Listen to “In Search of the Real Adam Smith” at freakonomics.com or wherever you get podcasts.

#podcast #income #business #economics

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ratingflavourtext · 3 years

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Storytime: Fallout 4: Arlen Glass

"We made toys. We made children happy. That's all that mattered."

(For Setting Specific Terms, which you will find bolded, look at the glossary below)

In a refuge for ghouls tossed out of Diamond City, there is a ghoul named Arlen Glass. This man was the co-founder of Wilson Atomatoys, a toy company that turned to make material for war during a year of lost profits. Arlen strongly disagreed with this choice and was tossed out of the company.

Arlen would try to convince the new head of the company, Marc Wilson, to back out of the military contract. When this didn't work, he drove home, only just in time to find his home and family a smoking crater when Nuclear War had begun. Arlen lay in the crater and this is what led him to transform into an immortal ghoul.

We meet him nearly two hundred years later in the Slog when he gives the player a minor quest to recover some spare parts. But the players can also bring him a holotape made by his dead daughter Marlene. Once we do this, he will finally finish the toy he has been working on and will start wandering the wasteland, apparently having made peace with his past.

Analysis:

I was worried there wouldn't be much to analyze when I first chose Arlen's questline and interactions, but there are actually a few themes that this story plucks at beyond the pathos of the story itself.

Fallout is a series that is critical of US capitalism and commercialization, often with a glib sense of humor but also sometimes with seriousness. The former can be seen in Nuka Cola, which had such a disregard for the health of their customers they made a drink that was literally radioactive. Atomatoys is an example of the latter.

There are few ways to make an anti-corporate message blunter than a literal toy company enrolled in a secretive defense contract, that led to the firing of one of its founders because he didn't want to make weapons. However, it becomes somewhat sadder if you look at Arlen Glass specifically.

In your conversations with him in the game, you get the sense the man's primary motivation is making children happy with cool toys. The man is making toys even after a nuclear apocalypse, which shows his dedication to it has little to do with money. There's something sad about the fact that he was thrown out of the company unceremoniously for objecting to a military contract.

But I think the other theme this story touches on is perhaps more interesting: regeneration. Arlen is still going. He's still making toys even after the apocalypse. In fact, he ends up leaving a Giddyup Buttercup toy to you, with a note saying "For a child who needs it."

The Fallout series is about devastation and collapse, but it's also about the reliance on humankind. Compared to other apocalypses, it's quite crowded. Fallout has been a game with hundreds of NPCs you can talk to and get to know, and I've always found that comforting.

My thoughts:

Fallout 4 is not the best fallout game, not even the best I've played, in terms of story. There's a lot about it that feels half-baked. The dialogue is often very awkward and poorly written. The factions feel quite hollow and the overarching story feels lacking. New Vegas wasn't perfect, but it felt a lot more cohesive and well thought out than 4.

Still, this is honestly somewhat irrelevant to me when I play fallout games, and to an extent the Elder Scrolls. I play more often for the littler stories, often told mostly through environmental storytelling or things you may not have ever found otherwise. Fallout 4 does still know how to do this trick, where you come across something while wandering the wasteland that you never thought you would find.

Arlen Glass' story is not very complicated, nor particularly subtle. It is a sad man who lost everything, his work, his home and his family. Yet is speaks to me, because this is someone you can help in a way that matters, that you can feel. I wish they didn't give you any reward for giving him the tape because the act of helping someone should be enough.

The way this is done is also masterful. It's easy to miss. If you don't go down the right dialogue path or remember that this Arlen Glass is the guy from the Atomatoys offices, then you could simply end up handing in the spare parts and then going on your way, or passing by him completely. But it rewards an attentive player with a nice scene and it rewards people for considering the needs of others in a sense other than just questlines or stats.

I feel Arlen Glass is important to learn from for those interested in narrative design. Players are more likely to respond to NPCs' needs if you present the decisions not necessarily as quests or ways to move some arbitrary relationship meter, but as ways to meet their needs.

On a personal level, I nearly cried when I got to give Arlen his daughter's holotape. it's one of those moments that tugs on your heartstrings unsubtly, yet somehow artfully.

Glossary:

Ghouls: Irradiated humans who become a form of immortal mutant. Often persecuted and distrusted in the wasteland.

Diamond City: A city in what was once Boston. One of the major settlements of Fallout 4.

Nuclear War (The Great War): A global nuclear war that scoured the world in 2077.

Literally Radioactive: The Nuka Cola Quantum

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Sorry for being late with this one! But I'm glad to get this series rolling! To make up for my lateness, I'm gonna see if I can get another one of these done in the next two to three days, then maybe a Christmas Special flavor text review? That sounds fun.

#video games #The Storytime Blog #lore #writing #narrative #Fallout #fallout 4

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trinkerichi · 3 years

Note

For the ask !! Favorite Care Bear ? :o

OH YAY OK!!! Well uh, I think i'll answer this as like, what i like about the series as a whole instead of a specific care bear. Because I love them to bits but the bears themselves dont really... HAVE much personality at all. The new one is probably better about that but I haven't really watched it, so here goes!

favorite thing about them

NOSTALGIA. That's the gist of it. The first care bear movie is the most comforting thing in the world to me and ALWAYS has been since my earliest memories. The sleepy soft music, clouds and rainbows everywhere, the twinkly 80's synthy sound effects, half the characters speak in this sweet whispery voice the whole time, it's SO saccharine sweet for a story about a kid being emotionally manipulated by a demon in a haunted book. BUT then that leads into a very simple but sweetly intentioned ending about being kind to others and believing that you deserve love, and how you'll meet people who care about you even if you've been hurt before. LOVE it.

least favorite thing about them

IT'S about as corporate as you can get and the moral messages ring pretty hollow most of the time. Even with how nostalgia blind I am abt it I can't pretend like the care bears are meant to teach anything all that meaningful to kids. But it's just supposed to be comforting and mindless so it's effective in that way. But it's important to tell kids that ALL emotions are okay, even negative ones. They do that a tiny bit with grumpy bear but eh. I got a lot of good out of it even if it was just made to sell toys.

favorite line

There are some really funny lines if you take them out of context but the first thing I thought of wasn't even something funny. it was

"It makes bubbles! SQUARE BUBBLES!"

brOTP

Umm Tenderheart and Braveheart being friends in the show was really cute from what I remember!

OTP

Uhhhhhh pbbbt nothing?

Though the old couple at the end of the first movie were totally Kim and Nicholas right? I'm pretty sure that was implied? Thats pretty cute.

nOTP

Bears can date whoever they want, who am I to judge them.

random headcanon

I made a WHOLE story in my head when I was a kid connecting the first two movies, where the bears were all toys come to life. Someday when I buy the rights to the franchise I'll make a movie about that.

unpopular opinion

I love how innocent and GENUINE it is. I KNOW it's just a toy commercial but I mean more in it's attitude. I've noticed how modern media for kids so often has this ironic-ness to it. like "wink wink to the camera we KNOW we're stupid! take that cinemasins" Like yeah I love making fun of goofy stuff in media but if they try to do that FOR me it comes off as insecure. I appreciate stuff that's just unapologetically silly and is fine with it.

song i associate with them

Besides songs that are actually from the thing, what else besides Lemon Demon's "EVERYBODY LIKES YOU!!!"

favorite picture of them

THE MOVIE POSTERS! I never see these posted but I love how cute they are while having this.. spacey darkness to them. Theyre cool.

#long post #care bears #heeee this was fun

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destiny-smasher · 3 years

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Life is Strange: True Colors

Leading up to the release of Episode 1 of TellTale's The Walking Dead game, I was working freelance for GameRevolution at the time, lived in the area, and had the chance to play a build of the game to write a preview on it. I remember comparing it to Mass Effect because, at the time, there just...weren't games of that subgenre. Of course, by now we've seen an explosion of this type of game - the 'narrative/choice-driven game,' spearheaded and even oversaturated by Telltale to their own demise.

Out of all of the games that have come from that initial boom, Life is Strange by DontNod was and still is the most influential on my life, but I also have always harbored really conflicted feelings about it - especially with how it resolved its narrative. Hell, if you're reading this, you're probably aware that I spent a few years of my life creating a sequel fanstory which I even adapted a chunk of into visual novel format. Hundreds of thousands of words, days and days of life spent essentially trying to process and reconcile my conflicted feelings about this game's conclusion(s). Since then, I've been experimenting with interactive fiction and am currently developing my own original visual novel using everything I've learned from both creating and playing games in this genre. It's a subgenre of game I have a lot of interest and passion for because, when handled well, it can allow a player to sort of co-direct a guided narrative experience in a way that's unique compared to strictly linear cinematic experiences but still have a curated, focused sense of story.

Up until this point, I've regarded Night in the Woods as probably the singular best game of this style, with others like Oxenfree and The Wolf Among Us as other high marks. I've never actually put any Life is Strange game quite up there - none of them have reached that benchmark for me, personally. Until now, anyway.

But now, I can finally add a new game to that top tier, cream of the crop list. Life is Strange: True Colors is just damn good. I'm an incredibly critical person as it is - and that critique usually comes from a place of love - so you can imagine this series has been really hard to for me given that I love it, and yet have never truly loved any actual full entry in it. I have so many personal issues, quibbles, qualms, and frustration with Life is Strange: with every individual game, with how it has been handled by its publisher (my biggest issue at this point, actually), with how it has seemingly been taken away from its original development studio, with how it chooses to resolve its narratives...

But with True Colors, all of those issues get brushed aside long enough for me to appreciate just how fucking well designed it is for this style of game. I can appreciate how the development team, while still clearly being 'indie' compared to other dev teams working under Square-Enix, were able to make such smart decisions in how to design and execute this game. Taken on its own merits, apart from its branding, True Colors is absolutely worth playing if you enjoy these 'telltale' style games. Compared to the rest of the series, I would argue it's the best one so far, easily. I had a lot of misgivings and doubts going in, and in retrospect, those are mostly Square-Enix's fault. Deck Nine, when given the freedom to make their own original game in the same vein as the previous three, fucking nailed it as much as I feel like they could, given the kinds of limitations I presume they were working within.

I'm someone who agonizes every single time there is news for Life is Strange as a series - someone who essentially had to drop out of the fandom over infighting, then dropped out of even being exposed to the official social media channels for it later on (I specifically have the Square-Enix controlled channels muted). I adore Max and Chloe, and as a duo, as a couple, they are one of my top favorites not just in gaming, but in general. They elevated the original game to be something more than the sum of its parts for me. And while I have enjoyed seeing what DontNod has made since, it's always been their attention to detail in environmental craftsmanship, in tone and atmosphere, which has caught my interest. They're good at creating characters with layers, but imo they've never nailed a narrative arc. They've never really hit that sweet spot that makes a story truly resonate with me. Deck Nine's previous outing, Before the Storm, was all over the place, trying to mimic DontNod while trying to do its own things - trying to dig deeper into concepts DontNod deliberately left open for interpretation while also being limited in what it could do as a prequel.

But with True Colors, those awkward shackles are (mostly) off. They have told their own original story, keeping in tone and concept with previous Life is Strange games, and yet this also feels distinctly different in other ways.

Yes, protagonist Alex Chen is older than previous characters, and most of the characters in True Colors are young adults, as opposed to teenagers. Yes, she has a supernatural ability. And yes, the game is essentially a linear story with some freedom in how much to poke around at the environment and interact with objects/characters, with the primary mechanic being making choices which influence elements of how the story plays out. None of this is new to the genre, or even Life is Strange. But the execution was clearly planned out, focused, and designed with more caution and care than games like this typically get.

A smaller dev team working with a budget has to make calls on how to allocate that budget. With True Colors, you will experience much fewer locales and environments than you will in Life is Strange 2. Fewer locations than even Life is Strange 1, by my count. But this reinforces the game's theming. I suspect the biggest hit to the game's budget was investing in its voice acting (nothing new for this series) but specifically in the motion capture and facial animation.

You have a game about a protagonist trying to fit in to a small, tightly knit community. She can read the aura of people's emotions and even read their minds a little. And the game's budget and design take full advantage of this. You spend your time in a small main street/park area, a handful of indoor shops, your single room apartment. It fits within a tighter budget, but it reinforces the themes the game is going for. Your interactions with characters are heightened with subtle facial cues and microexpressions, which also reinforces the mechanic and theming regarding reading, accepting, and processing emotions. And you get to make some choices that influence elements of this - influenced by the town, influenced by the emotions of those around you, which reinforce the main plot of trying to navigate a new life in a small town community.

When I think about these types of games, the conclusion is always a big deal. In a way, it shouldn't be, because I usually feel it's about the journey, not the destination. And as an example, I actually really dislike the ending of the original Life is Strange. I think it's a lot of bullshit in many ways. The setpiece is amazing and epic, sure, but the actual storytelling going on is...really hollow for me. Yes, the game does subtly foreshadow in a number of ways that this is the big choice it's leading up to, but the game never actually makes sense of it. And the problem is, if your experience is going to end on a big ol' THIS or THAT kind of moment, it needs to make sense or the whole thing will fall apart as soon as the credits are rolling and the audience spends a moment to think about what just happened. When you look at the end of Season 1 of Telltale's The Walking Dead, it's not powerful just because of what choice you're given, but because through the entire final episode, we know the stakes - we know what is going to ultimately happen, and we know the end of the story is fast approaching. All of the cards are on the table by the time we get to that final scene, and it works so well because we know why it's happening, and it is an appropriate thematic climax that embodies the theming of the entire season. It works mechanically, narratively, and thematically, and 'just makes sense.'

The ending of Life is Strange 1 doesn't do that, if you ask me. The ending of most games in this genre don't really hit that mark. When I get to the end of most game 'seasons' like this, even ones I enjoy, I'm typically left frustrated, confused, and empty in a way.

The ending of True Colors, on the other hand, nails everything it needs to. Handily, when compared to its peers.

If you're somehow reading this and have not played this game but intend to, now is probably where you should duck out, as I will be

discussing SPOILERS from the entire game, specifically the finale.

Firstly, since I don't know where else to put this, some criticisms I found with the game. And honestly, they're all pretty damn minor compared to most games of this type.

Mainly, I just wish the whole Typhon thing was handled a bit more deliberately. It's a bit weird to do the 'big evil corporation' thing (especially when a big corporation like Square Enix occupies as much as or even more of the credits to this game than the people who actually MADE it?) without offering more explanation and subtlety. The game certainly makes some efforts but they're mostly small and mostly optional, like background chatter or a handful of one-off bits of documentation/etc. you can find in the environment. I feel like Diane in particular needed to be fleshed out just a little bit more to really sell us on how and why things like this happen, why corporations make decisions that cost people their happiness, security, and lives and they just get to keep on doing it. I think just a little bit that is unavoidable to the player that puts emphasis on maybe how much the town relies on the money/resources Typhon provides would've helped. Again, this is minor, but it stands out when I have so little else to critique.

I would've liked to get more insight on why Jed is the way he is. No, I don't think we really needed to learn more about his backstory, or even really his motivations. I think we get enough of that. I just think it would've been great to somehow highlight more deliberately how/why he's built up this identity overtop of what he's trying to suppress. Maybe even just having Alex internally realize, "Wait, what the hell, Jed has been hiding these emotions and my powers haven't picked up on it?" or something to that effect could have added an extra oomph to highlight how Jed seems to be coping with his emotions by masking/suppressing them. Also really minor complaint, but again...there's not much else here I can think to really improve on within the confines of what's in the game.

The game doesn't really call Alex's power into question morally. Like. Max has an entire meltdown by the end of her story, second-guessing if she's even helped anyone at all, if she has 'the right' to do so, how her powers might be affecting or expressing her own humanity and flaws...this story doesn't really get into that despite a very similar concept of manipulating others. There's like one bit in a document you can choose to read in Alex's 'nightmare' scene, but that's really it. I feel like this sentiment and how it's executed could have easily been expanded upon in just this one scene to capture what made that Max/Other Max scene do what it did in a way that would address the moral grayness of Alex's powers and how she uses them, and give players a way to express their interpretation of that. Also, very small deal, just another tidbit I would've liked to see.

When I first watched my wife play through Episode 5 (I watched her play through the game first, then I played it myself), I wasn't really feeling the surreal dreamscape stuff of Alex's flashbacks - which is weird, because if you're read my work from the past few years, you'll know I usually love that sort of shit. I think what was throwing me off was that it didn't really feel like it was tying together what the game was about up until that point, and felt almost like it was just copying what Life is Strange did with Max's nightmare sequence (minus the best part of that sequence, imo, where Max literally talks to herself).

But by the time I had seen the rest of the story, and re-experienced it myself, I think it clicked better. This is primarily a story about Alex Chen trying to build a new life for herself in a new community - a small town, a tightly knit place. Those flashbacks are specifically about Alex's past, something we only get teeny tiny tidbits of, and only really if we go looking for them. I realized after I gave myself a few days to process and play through the game myself that this was still a fantastic choice because it reinforces the plot reasons why Alex is even in the town she's in (because her father went there, and her brother in turn went there looking for him), and it reinforces the theme of Alex coming to accept her own emotions and confront them (as expressed through how the flashbacks are played out and the discussions she has with the image of Gabe in her mind, which is really just...another part of herself trying to get her to process things).

By the time Alex escapes the mines and returns to the Black Lantern, all of the cards are on the table. By that point, we as the audience know everything we need to. Everything makes sense - aside from arguably why Jed has done what he has done, but put a pin in that for a sec. We may not know why Alex has the powers she does, but we have at least been given context for how they manifested - as a coping mechanism of living a life inbetween the cracks of society, an unstable youth after her family fell apart around her (and oof, trust me, I can relate with this in some degree, though not in exactly the same ways). And unlike Max's Rewind power, the story and plot doesn't put this to Alex's throat, like it's all on her to make some big choice because she is the way she is, or like she's done something wrong by pursuing what she cares about (in this case, the truth, closure, and understanding).

When Alex confronts Jed in front of all of the primary supporting characters, it does everything it needs to.

Mechanically: it gives players choices for how to express their interpretation of events, and how Alex is processing them; it also, even more importantly, uses the 'council' as a way of expressing how the other characters have reacted to the choices the player has made throughout the game, and contributes to how this climax feels. We're given a 'big choice' at the end of the interaction that doesn't actually change the plot, or even the scene, really (it just affects like one line of dialogue Alex says right then) and yet BOTH choices work so well as a conclusion, it's literally up to your interpretation and it gives you an in-game way to express that.

Thematically: the use of the council reinforces the game's focus on community; and the way the presentation of the scene stays locked in on Alex and Jed's expressions reinforces its focus on emotion - not to mention that the entire scene also acts as a way to showcase how Alex has come to accept, understand, and process her own emotions while Jed, even THEN, right fucking at the moment of his demise, is trying to mask his emotions, to hide them and suppress them and forget them (something the game has already expressed subtly by way of his negative emotions which would give him away NOT being visible to Alex even despite her power).

Narratively: we are given a confrontation that makes sense and feels edifying to see play out after everything we've experienced and learned. We see Alex use her powers in a new and exciting way that further builds the empowering mood the climax is going for and adds a cinematic drama to it. No matter what decisions the player makes, Alex has agency in her own climax, we experience her making a decision, using her power, asserting herself now that she has gone through the growth this narrative has put her through. Alex gets to resolve her shit, gets to have her moment to really shine and experience the end of a character arc in this narrative.

Without taking extra time to design the game around these pillars, the finale wouldn't be so strong. If they didn't give us enough opportunities to interact with the townspeople, their presence in the end wouldn't matter, but everyone who has a say in the council is someone we get an entire scene (at least one) dedicated to interacting with them and their emotions. If they didn't implement choices in the scene itself, it would still be powerful but we wouldn't feel as involved, it'd be more passive. If they didn't showcase Alex's power, we might be left underwhelmed, but they do so in a way that actually works in the context through how they have chosen to present it, while also just tonally heightening the climax by having this drastic lighting going on. If they didn't have the council involved, we'd lose the theming of community. If they didn't have the foil of Alex/Jed and how they have each processed their emotions, we'd miss that key component. And if we didn't have such detailed facial animations, the presentation just wouldn't be as effective.

Ryan/Steph are a little bit like, in this awkward sideline spot during the climax? Steph always supports you, and Ryan supports you or doubts you conditionally, which is unsurprising but also ties into the themes of Ryan having grown up woven into this community, and Steph being once an outsider who has found a place within it. They're still there, either way, which is important. The only relevant characters who aren't present are more supporting characters like Riley, Ethan, and Mac. Ethan being the only one of those who gets an entire 'super emotions' scene, but that also marks the end of his arc and role in the story, so...it's fine. Mac and Riley are less important and younger, as well, and have their own side story stuff you have more direct influence on, too.

But damn, ya'll, this climax just works so well. It especially stands out to me given just how rarely I experience a conclusion/climax that feels this rewarding.

And then after that we get a wonderful montage of a theoretical life Alex might live on to experience. Her actions don't overthrow a conglomerate billionaire company. She doesn't even save a town, really. If the entire council thinks you're full of shit, Jed still confesses either way - because it's not up to the council whether he does this, it's because of Alex, regardless of player choice. Honestly, even after a playthrough where I made most choices differently from my wife, there weren't really many changes to that montage at the end. It'd have been great if it felt more meaningfully different, but maybe it can be. Even if not, the design intent is there and the execution still works. It's a really nice way to end the story, especially since it's not even a literal montage but one Alex imagines - again, her processing what she's gone through, what she desires, expressed externally for us to see it. And for once, the actual final 'big decision' in a game of this type manages to be organic, make sense, and feel good and appropriate either way. You choose to either have Alex stay in Haven Springs and continue building her life there, or you can choose to have her leave and try to be an indie musician, with the events of the game being yet another chunk of her life to deal with and move on from (I haven't really touched on it, but music, especially as a way to express and process emotions, is a recurring thing, much like photography was in the original game, or Sean's illustrations in LiS2). For once, a climactic 'pick your ending' decision that doesn't feel shitty. It's pretty rare for this genre, honestly.

I could - and already have, and likely will - have so much more to say about this game and its details, but I really wanted to focus on touching upon a main element that has left me impressed: the way the entire game feels designed. It feels intentionally constructed but in a way that reinforces what it is trying to express as a story. It's not just trying to make people cry for the sake of 'emotions.' It is a game literally about emotions and it comes to a conclusion in a way that is clearly saying something positive and empowering about empathy and self-acceptance.

Storytelling is a craft, like any other, and it entails deliberate choices and decisions that can objectively contribute to how effective a story is for its intended audience.

A good story isn't something you find, after all.

It's something you build.

#Life is Strange True Colors #Life is Strange #Haven Springs #alex chen #lis true colors

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ckret2 · 3 years

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GVK spoilers below, about conspiracy theories

I’m gonna get around to posting all my GVK reactions but this one got long so I’m putting it in its own post.

The Monsterverse series, in both KOTM and GVK, has some pretty interesting things to say about conspiracy theories and ecofascism; but, unfortunately, it doesn’t REALIZE that it’s saying any of them, so it keeps dropping the ball and missing opportunities to explore them.

Starting with KOTM, “there’s too many humans so we’ve just gotta let some die and that’ll fix pollution 🤷” is like false ecofascist claim #1 but at no point in the movie was it challenged as unfactual, it was just presented as a sad truth that people have to do morally ambiguous things about. Except that it’s just literally mathematically not true!

Emma could be such a GREAT, believable character—especially in this world with, like, frigging QAnon nonsense getting such widespread traction—showing a compelling, realistic tragedy of how this normal, intelligent, well-educated white mom who otherwise is likely left-leaning (pro-environmentalism, pro-nature conservation, got a doctorate and generally more academia correlates with more liberal ideals) got sucked into a far right ecofascist doomsday militia that combines hokey pseudo-environmentalist propaganda with “in balance with nature” semi-religious mysticism, because she was exploited at a time when she was emotionally vulnerable (when her kid had just died) and was lacking healthy emotional support (when her husband turned to alcohol and then ran off).

... Except the movie never says that her “overpopulation” beliefs are WRONG. It says that they’re RIGHT, and she was just forced to choose between two losing scenarios—deliberately kill most of humanity to hopefully save a few, or watch humanity kill itself.

Nobody bothers to mention that the size of the population isn’t the problem, it’s the disproportionate pollution coming out of first world countries. Nobody bothers to mention that when Emma talks about “overpopulation” and shows a screenshot of an overcrowded neighborhood, it ain’t affluent downtown skyscraper condos in Europe or America that she’s highlighting, but large masses of poor people whose neighborhoods look “dirty” to the white woman’s eyes, despite the fact that they’re contributing the least to humanity’s carbon footprint.

Emma’s beliefs are empirically wrong, and if KOTM had ever demonstrated that, it would’ve been brilliant. Instead, it tries to say “she was right, she just went too far,” and in doing so loses an opportunity to make Emma a deeply believable, timely, realistic, well-meaning but wrong villain.

And now we’ve got GVK, which has swerved away from the ecofascism but doubled down on the conspiracy theories. Here, Emma’s daughter, who was raised for five years with what amounts to a survivalist doomsday cult’s beliefs, when faced with the grief of her mother’s death and the struggle of trying to reconnect to her estranged father, turns—again—to conspiracies to make sense of the world around her. Because that’s what Madison’s been raised with, and even though she got disillusioned with the particular “we know something special that the normal people can’t handle” beliefs that she was raised with, that kind of thinking is still what she knows. She’s still doing what her mother raised her to do! She’s still pulling the “hypercompetent highly-trained lone wolf ‘survivor’ saves the world” shtick that Jonah’s gang taught her to do—but it’s never brought up that it was screwed up to raise a child like that and it’s screwed up for her to still be interacting with the world like that.

At least THIS conspiracy theorist isn’t literally advocating for global genocide. Bernie’s focus largely seems to be on “this corporation is trying to screw people over and screw up the environment—” (because in Monsterverse, as in Toho monster movies as a whole, kaiju/titans and the environment are symbolically conflated, so if a corporation is messing with Godzilla then they’re messing with nature as well) “—so I’m gonna find out what they’re up to and be a whistleblower.” Which is great! Solid start! We’ve got a guy taking aim at big business and who says “when the weather Godzilla acts erratic, it’s not random chance, it’s because a big business is doing something it shouldn’t,” so it looks like we’ve got a leftist conspiracy theorist, that’s different, could be interesting to explore.

Except then he starts talking about governments serving a “global elite” and facilities built by “lizard people” and then we’ve swung right back around to the far right by casually dropping in a couple of antisemitic conspiracy theories.

Add that in with the whole “hollow earth” thing and damn, we’re namedropping a lot of antisemitic conspiracy theories, aren’t we? Granted, most conspiracy theories ARE antisemitic—but like, they could have dug around for some that aren’t. Have him talk some more about Roswell. Have him bring up things that we’ve actually got documentation happened and theorize that MKUltra research was used in Apex’s development of their pilot’s psychic mind link to Mechagodzilla. Have him bring up tailor-made-for-the-Monsterverse conspiracy theories that don’t exist here, “Monster Zero is actually the secret weapon of a nearby ‘Planet X’ that’s gonna invade,” whatever. Instead, nah, we went with the antisemitic ones.

Now, do I think the writers behind KOTM and GVK intended antisemitism? Do I think they’re closet alt-right trying to dogwhistle the fascists in the audience? No, I think they think they’re making fun of—or playing around with—what they see as harmless, unbelievable, way-out-there conspiracy theories. I think they know just enough about “hollow earth” and “global elites” and “lizard people” to make references to them, but not in a way that promotes the common antisemitic understanding of those theories as true. (Monsterverse’s hollow earth, a weird underground jungle where King Kong lives, sure doesn’t resemble the usual conspiracy theory.) To me, the way they were used suggests the writers didn’t deeply understand (or at least, didn’t deeply think about) what the theories really mean—nor what they imply about the beliefs of the characters who espouse them. Which is the crux of my issue with how the movies deal with conspiracy theories and ecofascists and so forth (beyond the fact that, hey, I just don’t like seeing likable characters casually referencing antisemitic beliefs): the writers didn’t think about the implications.

Because these things do imply a lot! For example, if, say, Josh, total newb to conspiracy theories, had asked about lizard people, I would have grimaced to hear it but I would have believed that he’s a teen boy that picked up the term at school and doesn’t know anything about what’s behind it. But on the other hand, I can’t believe a guy so deep in the conspiracy theory world that he bathes in bleach doesn’t know exactly what those conspiracies mean—or, even if he does somehow staunchly refuse to believe that “lizard people” is a code for “Jewish people,” that whatever circle of conspiracy theorists he runs with doesn’t use it as a code. Bernie didn’t pick up those beliefs in a void. I really doubt that’s what the writers wanted to imply about the goofy likable underdog with a podcast.

And sure, the “global elite” and “lizard people” references are presented like a “haha look how far out his beliefs are” joke—the same as the fluoride reference, which is basically Hollywood code for “bogus nonsense only complete lunatics believe” thanks to Dr. Strangelove—but at the same time, they’re never really disproven. Nothing he believes is challenged. Nor are any of Madison’s beliefs that she’s picked up from him. Everything they both believe is either a “wow that’s wild” throwaway joke, or else they’re presented as totally right, e.g. about Apex being up to dubious crap that’s irritating Godzilla.

Just like Emma, who was presented as in the wrong not because she was incorrect but because she WAS correct but took the wrong actions. And just like Rick in KOTM, who kept bring up the hollow earth theory like a running joke but then the joke was that he was right.

And that’s at the root of the issues with both movies’ portrayals of conspiracy theories. Aside from the jokes that are never explored (and therefore, never disproven), the movies say that, every time it matters, the conspiracy theorists on the fringe are correct, the heroes that need to be believed. Even though all (excluding Rick) are characters who have suffered deep loss, who have been hurt, who you can imagine as passionate but grieving people who turned to dangerously wrong extremism in their search for meaning... the movies don’t portray them as people who have been led astray by their pain, but enlightened by their pain. Which is what they themselves think they are, sure, but that doesn’t line up with reality.

The movies never forces them to grapple with how far they’ve gone astray from reality—and I think they should. I’d like to see them processing the revelation that their beliefs are wrong. Whether it’s as big as somebody trying to convince Emma that killing half the population doesn’t fix the pollution caused by corporations rich enough to weather a global hurricane, or as small as Bernie looking at Apex’s financial records and realizing the company’s money is going to the CEO’s vacation home rather than a reptile government and deciding to rethink those beliefs after they’ve checked out Hong Kong.

“Conspiracy theorist is right about everything” is already a common enough trope that Monsterverse isn’t breaking any new ground with it. And in a franchise like Godzilla, whose movies are rife with messages both allegorical and literal about environmentalism, corporate exploitation, the futility of military action, international politics, war crimes... letting the conspiracy theorists be wrong and showing that they’re wrong and what that wrongness can lead to would mesh far better with the themes of Godzilla.

Think about Jonah and Emma unleashing Ghidorah (who emerged from a destroyed ice cap and immediately caused devastating hurricanes—a perfect metaphor for climate change), and what that could say about how ecofascists who purportedly joined the movement because they support environmentalism are actually far more in bed with the destructive industries really at the root of environmental damage... if the movie acknowledged them as ecofascists.

Think about how Jonah collected Ghidorah’s head at the end of KOTM and by the time of GVK it was in Apex’s hands, and how this exchange demonstrates that “I want to unleash titans to destroy humanity to save the environment” Jonah the ecoterrorist and “I want to beat the titans to protect humanity” Simmons the billionaire CEO actually have far more similar ideals beneath the surface of their opposed goals—ideals that have less to do with the environment or with humanity and more to do with securing personal power and control... if the movie had explained how this exchange took place.

Think about how Madison’s mother died trying to mitigate just a little of the damage she did under the thrall of a doomsday cult’s skewed beliefs, how even though Madison broke free she found herself embroiled in similarly skewed beliefs just three years later, and how powerful it would have been if she recognized that she herself had walked right back into the kind of fringe beliefs her mother had led her into as a child, and if she had then resolved to learn how this kept happening to her and break this pattern... if the movie had ever let her realize that she was making the same mistakes, or even acknowledged them as mistakes.

There’s so much potential there, so many things you can see happening right beneath the surface... but the movies never touch on them. And so it looks like, in Monsterverse, all fringe beliefs are either right or harmless. And we never get the “disillusioned conspiracy theorist” story that could be so brilliant and that, right now, would be so relevant.

#gvk #godzilla vs kong #gvk spoilers #godzilla vs kong spoilers #godzilla #kotm #meta

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lostcauses-noregrets · 4 years

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Levi Ackerman - Last man standing

Four years ago, when Erwin died, after I reluctantly started to come to terms with the devastating shock and disbelief, the thing that hurt me the most was the knowledge that Levi would have to go on living and breathing in a world without Erwin in it. It just seemed so Impossible, so unfathomably sad that Levi would have to go on fighting, desperately trying to fulfil his vow to Erwin and their fallen comrades, after loosing almost everyone he ever cared about.

The Answers book, which was published in Japan the same day that chapter 84 came out, provided a small crumb of comfort, by reiterating what an important presence Erwin was in Levi’s life. And later the Character Guide clarified unambiguously that Levi chose to save Erwin by allowing him to die, however it also twisted the knife cruelly by confirming that Levi had lost someone irreplaceable to him. And that’s what really hurt; knowing that Erwin was gone, the relentless irrevocability of his death. Because despite the fantastical nature of the SnK world, death for everyone but the Titans and the Shifters was visceral, permanent and very, very real. Once a person died that was it, they were gone in all but memory. The only glimmer of hope was Isayama’s love of flashbacks and his hint that, even though Erwin was dead, he might draw him again. And bless Yams, he turned out to be as good as his word. Erwin might have been dead and gone, but he lived on in his comrades’ memories as an inspiration and a vow. But he was never more than a memory, an absence at the heart of the story.

Despite the revelations of the post-Shiganshina arcs, and the realization that there was a whole other plane of existence that Eldians could be transported to, the Paths dimension, there was never a hint of any kind of afterlife for anyone but the Shifters and Ymir herself. That was left for the fic writers to imagine, and boy did we imagine it. We’ve written reams of stories featuring Erwin watching over Levi from beyond, some of which I’ve linked below.

Consequently, the appearance of what seems to be some kind of legit afterlife in the canon world is unexpected to say the least. It’s still not remotely clear what kind of afterlife Isayama has presented us with here. It’s doesn’t appear to be the Paths dimension, it looks very much like the “real” world. Previously when we’ve seen the Survey Corps dead they’ve been mute shades, bearing silent witness to their comrades trials and sufferings.

This is very, very different, Erwin and the others seem real and corporeal and conscious of events going on in the world. Seeing Erwin’s open smiling face melted my heart but knowing that he watched the plane carrying Levi take off almost destroyed me.

So where does all this leave Levi? On the one hand, knowing that Erwin and his soldiers are watching over him, waiting there for him in some kind of apparently benign afterlife eases the pain of his suffering somewhat, but knowing that he is not just the last of the Veterans, but the last of his generation is soul destroying.

Ever since it became clear that Levi would not be going out in a blaze of glory immediately after Erwin’s death, my two greatest fears have been that some plot device would prevent him from being able to kill Zeke, and that he would be the last man standing, alone at the end of the world. So far, I’ve been right on the first count, and it looks horribly likely that I might be right on the second count too.

There’s been endless speculation about how the story will end, and as far as I’m concerned the absolutely worst possible ending for Levi would be for Eren to wipe out humanity and then erase the memories of the people of Paradis, leaving them with no recollection that humanity had been destroyed in the name of their “freedom”. Only Levi (and Mikasa? Will she survive? I don’t know.) would be left to live on, alone with the knowledge of his failure. Knowing that he failed to save humanity, failed to honour his comrades sacrifice, failed to fulfill his vow to Erwin, failed to even die.

I hope beyond hope that this doesn’t happen, but as things stand, it could be a very real possibility. There doesn’t seem to be any one or anything that can stop Eren right now. Also the mind wipe is the one power of the Founding Titan that we haven’t seen come into play yet. We know that Eren is willing to use it though, as he’s already threatened Historia with it. Why would Yams go out of his way all those chapters ago to reveal that Ackermans are immune to the mind wipe, if it wasn’t going to come into play at some stage? I sincerely hope I’m wrong here, but this has been niggling at the back of my mind of years now.

The other thing that makes me fear that Levi will still be alive by the end of the series is that Hanji got the death than many of us hoped for for him. Lots of people have already commented on this. Hanji really did have the perfect ending; they got to say goodbye to their soldiers, flirt with the cute Titan shifter, say a touching farewell to Levi, before dedicating their heart to humanity and going out heroically, fighting to buy time for their comrades to escape. And as if that wasn’t enough, they wake up in the afterlife where they get to complain to Erwin about how tough it was being commander, and constant faithful Moblit is waiting there to help them to their feet.

It’s beyond perfect, and it’s everything that Hanji deserved. But it’s also what Levi deserved, and now I fear he won’t get that, because as many others have already pointed out, with the end of the story looming, it’s unlikely that Isayama is going to repeat himself.

Never have Kenny’s final words rung more hollow and more true. Everyone is a slave to something and Levi is a slave to his strength, to being a hero in the service of humanity. Maybe there was a glimmer of truth in what Eren said after all. Ackermans may not be slaves to their lieges, but they are slaves to their strength and their power.

I haven’t quite given up hope yet though, and odd as it might sound, but I’m pinning my hopes on Eren and Zeke, both of whom Levi has sworn to kill. I don’t think Levi will be the one to attempt to stop Eren, that responsibility surely has to fall to Mikasa and Armin, but Zeke’s ass belongs to Levi. Not like that. Zeke has been MIA for months now and it’s entirely unclear if he’s alive, dead, or trapped in Paths limbo for eternity. But if he is still alive in any meaningful way, and he re-enters the fray, that will surely give Levi his last chance for salvation and absolution. Surely if anyone has earned peace and redemption, and a place in the afterlife beside Erwin and his friends, its Levi. Come on Isayama, is that really too much to ask?

Fic Recs

After by @zorthania

Promises by @world-war-eruri

One last night (To say goodbye) by @darkcyradis

remember these walls we built (chapter 25) by @galpalpetraral

Almost by @lostcauses-noregrets

At Last... by @lostcauses-noregrets

Promise by @lostcauses-noregrets

#levi ackerman #erwin smith #hanji zoe #eruri #levi meta #fic rec #lostcauses meta #zeke yeager #eren yeager #snk #snk 132

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arch-venus25 · 4 years

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The Head and the Heart, Part 1

Hello everyone,

I am submitting this for @just-the-hiddles‘s The Damnit Jim, I’m A Vampire, Not A Landlord Fic Frenzy. I chose prompt “1....You can pay your rent in money or in blood.” I was inspired by all the prompts and will probably use them throughout the series. Basically I use the prompts as guide-lines.

This is the first time I have written and shared a fic online-- or ever really! It’s also the first time I’ve written anything modern so please let me know what you think! I hope I’m posting this correctly--I created the title art--LOL I’ve never done this before. I’m aiming to update the series each Tuesday. So here we go...

Series Masterlist: The Head and The Heart

Summary: The twins are taking a night off from their graduate studies-- or at least Tessa is; her twin sister, Antha, is just trying to keep her out of trouble. What starts as a night of good old-fashioned fun and flirting quickly changes as they find themselves at the doorstep of the Hollow House Bed and Breakfast.

Characters: OFCs Antha and Tessa King, original characters/vampires

WARNINGS: 18+ for suggestive themes and violence, cursing, implied drug use, implied rape, stressful/scary situations, vampires, and characters with incredible hair-- you’ve been warned. Read at your own discretion.

Word Count: 2770

Part One: Faced with Foolishness

“Well, you know Tessa, she’s being Tessa,” Antha murmured into her phone as she watched her twin sister cozy up to her flavor of the month; Tessa flipped her box braids off her shoulder, the beaded ends flirtatiously tinkling against every surface they met. As if watching a photo negative version of herself, Antha mourned her nonexistent reputation. Had she not spent years hiding in her books she may have been able to rival her uninhibited doppelganger in white hot-pants.

“Why do you let her do this to you? It never goes as planned, and next thing you know I’ll be cleaning you two up and feeding you McDonald’s at two thirty in the morning!” She didn’t need facetime to picture Doug wincing through the phone, pushing his Buddy Holly styled Ray-Bans up the bridge of his nose.

“So what you’re saying is how could I let Tessa do this to you?” She laughed, rolling her Havana twists through her fingers to fight off the June humidity. Talking to her best friend helped her forget just how long she had been holding it in line to the bathroom.

“Ant, look I don’t like that bar—you want me to come get you?”

“And leave her? I can’t do that—listen, if we don’t call you for a ride home by midnight just come get us. I’m exhausted and I don’t think she will party that long. Besides, you-know-who just showed up.” She watched as Franco the Flake appeared, wasting no time to linger over her sister—Tessa’s flavor of the month, forgotten within an instant. Antha’s eyes rolled like marbles as she turned away to better hear her friend on the phone; some fraternity boys nearby began fist-pumping into the air as the bartender served up a line of shots for them.

“Ugh, the Flake… well I can hear things are getting started on your end—I’ll keep my phone on me, just don’t drive. Leave her car and I’ll get you two—there’s maniacs out there especially on Friday night.” He warned.

“I owe you,” she groaned and hung up. Antha finally arrived in the ladies’ room, only two women away from her sweet release. She watched as the women cornered the mirror like crazed wanton things, bending and zhuzhing, adjusting their “girls” to their perkiest potential through scantily low apparel.

“Heeeyy…” She quietly greeted the woman that exited the nearest stall. The stranger gave her a haughty elevator eye from head to toe making her feel severely underdressed for a Friday night out. When she threw on a sun dress today, she never anticipated her sister would abduct her after class and have them gallivanting across town. Tessa’s exact words were “Godamnit Ant, tonight we’re gonna have fun if it kills us!” A Cheshire Cat grin spread across her face as she floored the accelerator of her Neon, then cranked up the bass as the radio station started their basement remixes. Fun if it kills us.

Antha stared at her white sandals, her nail polish was chipped and at least three weeks old. Then she looked to her messenger bag hanging on the back of the door. It was covered in Community College film badges and club stickers, per her friend’s preferences. Antha liked her graffitied messenger bag. Like a billboard, it made her appear she had a life outside of her graduate studies.

She should have been at home, text books spread on her lap, feet up. She could hear Doug’s old Buick coughing its way up Momma’s drive, then fumbling outside the door, trying to knock with a third of Popov, case of Dogfish Head, and pizza in his arms. Then he would throw everything on the coffee table and announce “I brought Casablanca!” to which she would say “Oh, more white people movies?” and unphased, he would reply “Good god woman, it’s not Birth of a Nation!” Antha smiled, thinking of their weekly ritual of pretending to do research while gossiping long into the night until Zoey and Tessa would drunkenly Uber home. The distinct shamble, like the walking dead, would scrape up the gravel drive signaling their arrival.

“Hey, you almost done in there?” An annoyed voice yelled over the door, cutting through her reminiscing. Antha could see the reds of the stranger’s eyes between the door crack.

Instead of lounging on the couch surrounded by good beer and even better friends, Antha found herself being hustled by some Fireball-turned-up twat—all under the guise of having fun. “Yeah, sorry about that.” She replied and flushed. She tightened the belt holding in the billowy fabric of her flowy, mid-thigh, sunflower-printed sundress. It was passed down from her grandmother to her mother and so on. Looking like she walked off the set of a 90’s music video, she admitted that at least she was cooler than the other girls sweating in their skin-tight jeans and heels.

Some pretty young thing burst through the door past the line and vomited into the trash bin next to Antha while she washed her hands. It was only nine o’clock. That was a bad omen. When she caught her reflection in the mirror, she realized she pouted just like Momma in those sorts of situations. She dampened a paper towel for the poor thing and could hear her mother’s words repeating in her head: “When you’re faced with foolishness—you take care of it.” Her mantra: Take care of it. Antha’s mantra: Do what Momma says. Tessa’s mantra: If it ain’t fun don’t do it.

Antha applied her vanilla lip gloss as she thought on her mother. She made a promise as Momma was lowered in the ground that they would graduate. It was her dying wish that the twins became modern women with college degrees and to have options; to escape the laboring of farming and perhaps even the rinse and repeat of corporate Delaware. That’s all there was in their state: Farming or banking.

She tucked her shoulder-length braids behind her ears; she truly missed her dreadlocks, but ever since the time Tessa’s boyfriend mistook her for his girlfriend, she cut them off. She was always the one to compromise. Not tonight she decided. Tonight was going to go her way. They would wrap up this foolishness by midnight.

Antha sighed and knew it was time to face the havoc of the bar when a chatty patron pawed at her sundress asking if it was “vintage”. She replied, “Well it’s old as hell if that’s what you mean,” and hurried out the ladies’ room into the sweltering cacophony of nightlife.

Fighting across sticky tile and sweaty rednecks she made a beeline for the bartender. “Mar, can I get two?” She bounced on her tip-toes to cut through the crowd huddled around the length of the tacky wooden bar. Maria motioned to the other side because she couldn’t reach through. Antha continued to fight her way through the herd. She could barely hear over the din of the 2016 campaign commercials and sportscasting when Maria slid two cocktails toward her. The southern comfort and coke cocktails reeked with vanilla syrup, Tessa’s favorite. Antha stared into the melting rail drinks and realized she didn’t know what to order herself because she was always the water-boy for her twin.

“Hey, did you see what’s-his-face is in town?” Maria interrupted her thoughts.

“Sure did.” She groused and tilted her head in the general direction of where she saw Tessa and Franco last. Through the bodies, for a moment, the crowd parted and the two stared.

Stepping back from her esteemed role as the older sister, by barely two minutes, Antha admitted to herself that Tessa always looked good. Her off-the-shoulder top exposed a flawless ebony collarbone, shoulder blades, and arms. As if she was the Queen of Sheba incarnate, her tiny wrists were decorated with gold bangles. Her earrings matched the beads in her hair, reflecting light in her hazel eyes. A waterfall of thick box braids fell down her back and over her shoulders, past the tops of her thighs. Her years of dance complimented the country-chic white cut-offs that revealed just a hint of under cheek when she bent across the billiard table.

“If I were a man, I’d pray for her to bite my head off quick and painless.” Maria laughed, her ponytail frizzing from the heat of her work; her hands rapidly dipping then shining high ball glasses.

“But that’s not her style.” Antha replied wryly.

“You’re both good girls. Now you keep her out of as much trouble as you can—I’ll send Kyle ‘round to your table with beers, just let me catch up here!”

Maria was right: they were good girls. All of Tessa’s shenanigans aside, she never forgot cake for a birthday and with everyone’s break-ups she always had a bottle of Jack stashed with a shoulder to cry on. Tessa was the one that painted Antha’s nails and always lent her the best outfits when the event called for it. On occasion she was even known to deliver soup when her sister ran a fever.

Tessa was the heart of the operation and Antha couldn’t begrudge her just because she was the head.

For better or worse, they were sisters.

Antha reluctantly clutched the chilled drinks and felt a pang of relief in the sweltering bar. She couldn’t see her sister at the billiard table with the onslaught of shuffling patrons, so she decided to move toward her booth. She narrowly missed being covered in appletini as the DJ scratched in one more summer top ten into his rotation. Before she could move forward a voice pinned her in place.

“Your sister’s the worst, you know that?” A nice-looking guy glared at her. His teeth gleamed pink in the red bar lights. Antha bet he had a handsome smile on account of those white teeth, but he was not smiling now. She squinted through the hazy dance floor and recognized him as the guy Tessa arrived with before Franco appeared.

“Hey John, don’t fret, Tessa’s just catching up with an old friend—he comes into town every so often, don’t get upset.” She yelled back at his face as kindly as she could manage over the blare of the oncoming band tuning their instruments. For some reason he didn’t seem to believe her and his chest instinctively puffed up.

“John? I’m José!” He replied. Antha felt embarrassed for both her sister and herself. She grimaced unintentionally, realizing she had said it all with very few words.

She tried to defend their position with a weak excuse. “José, I’m bad with names and faces—” but he stormed off before she could piecemeal a string of bullshit. There goes another Mr. Last Month.

This was having fun. Antha doing damage control on last month’s flame, while Tessa stoked a new one. All of the nice memories of her sister evaporated in the heat of the interaction. She grumbled to herself, as she had grown tired of babysitting, not just Tessa but the men-children she dated. When she finally confirmed her party’s booth, she parted the shadowy sea of basic bitches.

Tessa was giggling like a school girl when her sister dropped the sweaty glasses onto the ratty old table. Franco at her neck like a leech. I hate this guy, Antha thought to herself. He turned his hot gaze on her, “Hi Antha, didn’t see you there.” His drawl was thick like humidity. She thought about giving her drink to Tessa’s date, but now that she could see he was it, she plopped down and selfishly sipped one of the nasty cocktails without offering the second.

“Oh hey Brian,” she said playfully, “where’s your camera?”

“Ant, now you know this is Franco, stop playin’!” Tessa tore her eyes away from him for a split second, but after she threw her daggers she was back ogling him like a dog does a bone.

“Sorry, it’s hard to keep all these blue-eyed, blond, gentlemen straight.” Antha marginally resisted saying yokel under her breath.

Tessa had a type. Beyond all logic, light eyes were the buckle in her knee, the hitch in her breath; and Franco was at the top of her list. Antha assumed he was the Porsche in her garage amongst a long list of Ford’s, but she honestly didn’t know the whole story. All she knew was that Franco showed his face sparingly and only after dark. He would disappear for weeks at a time, which earned him the endearment The Flake.

Now, Antha hadn’t dated enough men in her young life to sort them by color and size, but Tessa had. To her credit, her tastes were diverse, she did her research and knew what she liked. No one blamed her either. With that hair and those legs, Tessa could have anyone she wanted. The great appeal of Franco didn’t add up to Antha though. She found him suspicious. She thought his truck was too loud, his jeans too torn, and his eyes much too heavy.

Franco made idle conversation, inquiring after the twins’ classes as if he cared. His blond, three-quarter parted hair was glossy under the dim lights. When he pulled his tooth pick from the back of his ear and chewed on it, it made him look like an old-fashioned mobster—well until that Delmar twang spilled out of his hillbilly mouth. There was an allure about him; all of his parts matched, but his smile unglued those pieces. A smile that never quite reached his eyes.

Antha found herself sizing him up, drinking the disgusting cocktail faster than she wanted. I bet he has plastic zip ties and rope in his truck bed, she thought. She didn’t truly know why the image popped into her mind, it was just a feeling she got when his eyes were on her; made her feel like a snack, as if he would eat her alive right where she sat. No more Unsolved Mysteries for me this week, she insisted to herself.

“Mmmm-hmmm.” Was the best response she could offer when he spoke to her directly. Tessa continued chatted about her business management courses as he deeply stared at her. Antha figured there was no real room for her in the conversation so she took out her world cultures text and flipped to her last page. She liked hanging out, however her final thesis was demanding all of her energy. The page fell open to vampires in the section of Egyptian mythology. She thought how ironic as her eyes shot up at the man sitting across from her.

“So, there’s this bonfire by Slaughter Bay, I thought you ladies could come with.” Franco suggested lazily like it was too exclusive to be excited about. “You can shotgun babe and we can put Antha and her friends in back.” He eyed the textbooks growing damp on the table. Antha finished the first SoCo and started the second just to cope with him. “You could call up the girls.”

“Zoey… Zoey... Zoey!” Tessa dramatically said into her drink and then laughed. Antha couldn’t help but smirk as Tessa explained to him her girlfriend was like Candyman and could be summoned via a pint of beer. The joke was partially lost on Franco.

Before Tessa could agree to go Antha piped up, a little less shy now that her liquid courage had kicked in. “Sounds awfully romantic, but we can’t.” Before she could continue she was interrupted.

“Hey girl haaayyyy!” Zoey appeared as if out of thin air and snatched one of the beers sent over by the bartender. “You goin’ nowhere without me—not after I Ubered across town!” Her two rando friends hollering and sloshing their drinks.

“How the hell do you do that?” Antha insisted, amazed that their friend appeared.

“Uhhhh, never you mind—we can make bonfire plans later—its ten o’clock, I’m here and Bieber is playing! GET UP!” Zoey declared, the glitter from her eyes dusting every surface.

“Keep an eye on my friends.” Antha told Franco as she abandoned her books to be dragged to the floor. This was the moment she decided she was getting them all out of there; she didn’t like the sound of a bonfire with him and she certainly wasn’t allowing Tessa to go on her own either. She sent a pre-written text message to Doug: “Get here.” Which was their code for its really going down, I need back up.

Twinning Taglist: If you want to be added or removed just let me know; please share with anyone that might be interested. I would love any and all feedback so I can learn and become a better writer. Thank you! I tagged some people that I thought would be interested in this. @myoxisbroken @just-the-hiddles @vodka-and-some-sass @nildespirandum @yespolkadotkitty @latent-thoughts @emeraldrosequartz @villainousshakespeare @hopelessromanticspoonie @caffiend-queen @poetic-fiasco @lokimostly @dianamolloy @marvelgirlonamarvelworld @brightsunanddarkmidnight2-0 @cateyes315 @mooncat163 @nuggsmum @plastic-heart @myraiswack @wolfpawn

#landlord vampire fic frenzy #twinning vs vamps #arch-venus25 writes

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