#'everyone in this place is virus infected? ok let me clear that for everyone'

[horizonandstar]

au where y/n was one of the tech people who made sun and moon and later looked them up to see how the 2 were doing in the plex. and just has a moment of indignant rage going “THEY PUT MY FUCKING THEATER ROBOT IN A DAYCARE?”

[wincore]

wasted nights | liu yangyang

pairing: yangyang x reader

words: 5.5k

summary: firstly, you don’t think you should have survived this long. secondly, this might be the zombie apocalypse but your survival doesn’t feel as threatened by zombies as it does by liu yangyang. thirdly, you’ve chosen the worst time to develop a crush.

genre: zombie apocalypse!au, fluff, humour(?)

warnings: mention of injuries & blood, violence (against zombies), dumbassery, do not attempt during an actual zombie apocalypse

song rec(s): wasted nights - one ok rock 

a/n: october birthdays get halloween specials~ although this one is just full of unnecessary appearances by cats. also campfires because october campfires hit different. (i’m definitely saying this because i was born in october) also not me writing this as a joke and reaching 5.5k words </3

It’s two hours till sundown. 

What would you be doing on a day within the ordinary? Likely getting back from after school activities, chatting with a friend or feeding the stray kittens by the school building, or maybe pretending Liu Yangyang doesn’t exist—the possibilities were endless. Now there’s only one.

“Yangyang,” you call, more worried than not.

On a day out of the ordinary, you wish you hadn’t prayed for your exam to get cancelled the day all of this broke out. You wouldn’t be scavenging like some sort of rodent and you wouldn’t be standing at the gates of an abandoned shrine, though now is undoubtedly a better time to pray. It’s not the best of situations (especially not with a certain little rascal attached to your side). 

And understatements are definitely your thing now.

“Yangyang,” you call a little louder this time, eyes shifting around the shrine area. 

Should you step in? He asked you to wait, the stone steps now looking a little glum without him skipping over them. The only signs of life you’ve seen around has been a family of raccoons looking rather smug and a single spotted dove preening itself atop a branch. The lack of visibility into the forest surrounding the shrine bothers you, like something could jump out any minute and you suck your teeth, growing annoyed. Where is that boy?

You tap your foot against the ground soundlessly. What if a zombie were to pop out? They might be slow but the sight of them is still gross enough to paralyze you. Yangyang has his baseball bat with him, which leaves you defenseless in terms of weapons. Still, it’s not like the bat would have done you any good. You are, in the truest sense of the word, average at any sort of combat and freezing at the limbs comes to you more naturally. Zombies are not fun; whatever nonsense Yangyang has been trying to explain to you for weeks is optional, as is every other suggestion that comes from his mouth. It’s quiet and quiet, creepy shrines have never been your favourite place in the city.

You hear a low growl behind you, stiffening at the sound. Best case scenario, it’s a big rat. You’d rather not think of the worst case. Eventually, you gather some courage and turn slowly only to jump back with a short scream. 

Yangyang takes the old festival mask off to reveal a giant grin on his face, urging you to knock it right off. The anger that follows is natural and he should be used to it by now. Yangyang continues smiling, as if he didn’t just pull your soul right out of your body, and when he opens his mouth to say something, you’re quick to land a swift punch to his gut. He lets out a pained cry, dropping to the ground in a squat.

“Don’t do that,” you seethe. “Why can’t you greet me normally?”

“I’m okay!” He signals a thumbs up while the other hand clutches his stomach. 

“I didn’t ask.”

He moves his hand to place it over his chest. “Ow. Oh, and to answer your question, it’s because you don’t want to do my special handshake with me.”

“Hm. Get up. You said there were supplies here. What did you find?”

He pouts, finally getting up. “I can’t believe you’re just using me for supplies.”

You cross your arms. “Just get up already.”

Yangyang springs up despite the (admittedly) strong blow to his stomach and presents to you the plastic bag he’d been holding. In any other circumstances, it would spark some disapproval on your behalf but it turns out, those things do outlive most everything. For a moment, the ridiculous image of pulling a plastic bag over a zombie’s head crosses your mind. 

Yangyang finally responds, taking out whatever items he recovered. Not everything is useful however; he’s simply taken to collecting knick-knacks. 

“I found toothbrushes! Maybe your breath will stop stinking—”

You raise your clenched fist as a threat.

“—I was kidding. Obviously. You have lovely breath.”

You pinch the bridge of your nose in an attempt to contain your exasperation. 

“Also, I found clean water so I filled up some bottles and yeah, I couldn’t find much else but oh! There was this huge cat and I mean huge like a big chonk kinda guy, you know? And I’m sure he was, like, trying to tell me something, like, he kept hissing when I went near him but…”

You wonder if Yangyang ever gets tired from speaking so fast, his words fading out of your comprehension. You shake your head, clearing your throat.

“Can we leave now?”

Yangyang raises an eyebrow, almost smirking as the gears in his head turn.

“You’re not… superstitious, are you?” he asks. “I heard there’s a lot of reported sightings of ghosts here.”

“No,” you blurt, quick to deny. Yangyang might have seen you crying after getting lost in the dark, almost fainting after encountering a zombie for the first time or even in deep sorrow after you lost your friend—but there’s still part of your dignity to protect before you can admit your fear of ghosts. There’s just something about this abandoned shrine; there are no visitors apart from the caretaker and if loneliness is responsible for anything, it’s making lonely things seem a whole lot scarier. You’d rather leave before the sun sets.

Yangyang laughs. “Who do you think would win in a fight? Zombies or ghosts?”

You roll your eyes. “That’s so stupid. Obviously ghosts.”

“No. Okay, maybe. I just think…”

There he goes again. 

You wonder if he was always this way—when you passed him by in the hallways, when he shot you a polite smile at club meetings or when you saw him being loud with his friends blocking part of the sidewalk. You’re sure he couldn’t have been entirely sane.

“Oh my god.”

Yangyang’s voice jerks you back to the present. You follow his line of sight to a cardboard box beneath a particularly dense shrub; it's a large one—quite possibly a carton of some commercial product which doesn’t matter anymore. However, it’s not the details of the box itself so much as it is the contents that grab your attention. 

You can almost see the sparkle in Yangyang’s eyes as he views the cats huddled together inside the box. They don’t seem to mind each other within their personal space—you count four of them, tightly packed and eyes closed in a late afternoon nap. How the box hasn’t ripped apart yet is quite a mystery, and what’s more troubling is how at ease they seem to be with the entire human race in disarray.

You grab Yangyang by the collar before he can make his way to them.

“Don’t harass them,” you say, massaging your temples. “Jesus, it’s like they’re glued to each other. Do they have to be in the same box?”

“It might just be the last cardboard box left on earth.” Yangyang shrugs.

The cats mind their own business, grooming their fur or closing their eyes in an odd sort of bliss. You wonder what it would be like to be so unbothered by all the chaos. It reminds you of someone.

“Come on,” you urge, thinking back to older times. “Don’t think I forgot how much you used to bother old Louis back then.”

Louis was the university cat, fed with so much love that he eventually started avoiding people like the plague. You wonder how he’s holding up for a brief moment.

“Don’t think I forgot how you were back then too.”

“What do you mean?” you snap, glaring at him.

“You were already a zombie,” he says before engaging in a cheap mimicry of you, drooping his eyelids and taking slow steps muttering, “I… must… maintain… gpa… grr.”

You almost take off your shoe to throw it at him before deciding it’s not worth your time. Ah, if only you had done that during club meetups, perhaps you’d have felt better about him joining. Everyone treated him so differently, and you hate to admit you now understand why. 

Everyone loves a good troublemaker.

And there happens to be another thing special about your sole competitor for the debate club’s president position. Apart from his strange antics (charms, he says), even this virus—this fuckall literal killer virus can’t infect him. He’s immune—an occurrence with a possibility lower than you finding him attractive. (There, you said it.)

You look at Yangyang still talking about Louis and a small smile crosses your face. You’d feed your right arm to a zombie before you admitted it but it’s nice having him around. You furrow your brows at the sudden familiar bubbling in your chest and shove it away in a flash before your conscious decides to tell you what it is. 

Your heart jumps to your throat when you make eye contact with Yangyang, turning away in a rather awkward manner. Oh, the end of the world does awful things to you.

“Are you listening?” Yangyang raises an eyebrow. “Oh my god, you weren’t listening at all.”

You roll your eyes. “I was distracted.”

“By me?” he offers in a sing-song voice, prompting a smack from you. It’s easier to pretend this way.

Yangyang massages his shoulder with a huff. “Why are you hitting me so much today? I’ve counted like eight and the day’s only just over.”

“Sorry,” you mumble before clearing your throat. “I mean, you’ve also said something annoying, like, more than eight times today.”

“I’m not annoying.”

There’s a pause.

“Okay, maybe a little bit.”

The sun starts to lay in rest by the time you reach the city. Compared to the green, red and yellow of the yet standing shrine, this place is in dull monochrome with the occasional coloured signs that flicker to life. You force yourself to think but have a hard time remembering if it was always this way. Was it any different with the rushing cars or apathetic crowds? You can’t tell. You were part of them, after all. 

“Hey, how about a bottle flip challenge but with traffic cones?” Yangyang thinks aloud, walking backwards as you pass by a particularly well-lit alley. 

You roll your eyes in response. Is it the lack of people making him that way? Your unflustered companion looks at home among neon lights, all of them seeming to point towards him as an answer to a question you haven’t quite figured out yet. 

You glance at the alley just a second longer. The electric lanterns still glow red, and although dim, there are many. The shops almost look like you could enter and be greeted with a crowd of university kids or a group of office workers drinking away in celebration of the weekend. You sigh. It’s most certainly deserted inside; there’s no doubt. At the most, the tables are still arranged neatly and the meat grills aren’t completely rusted. You wonder if it’s a Friday.

There was never much grass in the city but whatever growth there was has withered into a mustard yellow or a lamenting grey. An empty city is hardly appealing, but you can’t deny the ill-favored things you’ve done the past few months in the absence of people—a part of you questioning whether breaking into supermarkets is still against the law when no one’s around to keep it. You smile at the memory of Yangyang pushing you around in a shopping cart, though you’d gotten drunk off the (stolen) liquor prior. The neon lights hanging as a banner over sketchy shops sometimes spark alive before dying down over and over again, and to be fair, you don’t think they ever shined too bright. Ironically, they’re the liveliest thing about the city now. 

The sky’s soaked in ink at a time you assume to be around seven in the evening. You walk closer to Yangyang without realizing; it’s not often you’ve been out this late the past few months.

“Hey.” Yangyang snaps you out of your daze. “Be careful.”

The words are strange coming from him but you understand why. You look up ahead with caution and a shiver runs down your spine as you stare at the intersection, a lone, tattered figure droning aimlessly. It’s only one, you tell yourself. And they’re slow.

The memories of your previous encounters send warnings over your skin, shivers begging you to run as fast as you can. You would if it weren’t for Yangyang’s grip on your hand, tugging you forward gently and though it’s something he does every time, you wonder if he knows how you’re really feeling. His footsteps are soundless, with the same red sneakers he’s worn since the beginning of this but something tells you it’s not the shoes that give him a cat’s footfall. The purple lights flicker on and off over the shop on the opposite street, the suddenness of it making you latch onto Yangyang for a short-lived moment. You’re quick to let go, throat too dry to make any sound. 

You curve around what would be a straight path, careful not to be in the creature’s line of sight when you cross. The streets seem wider when they’re so empty, and somehow it feels more unlawful this way. Yangyang signals to you to stay closer, and you follow before bumping into his back when he stops abruptly. There’s absolutely no sound, the feeling in your gut much worse than at the shrine.

“Something’s wrong,” Yangyang whispers.

A strangled shriek erupts from your mouth when something launches itself onto the two of you, making you land on your butt. You would’ve placed your hands over your eyes, but you’ve learned how to be less of a coward these past few days. 

A shaky breath leaves you. A cat. It was a stray cat. The little asshole looks at you with almost twinkling eyes, tail swishing from side to side before deciding you’re not worth its time. Your shoulders sag, a moment of relief despite your stiff muscles.

“Uh, (name)?”

You look up only for your stomach to fill with dread. The zombie from before is staring directly at the two of you, the same vacant look in its eyes that has haunted you for the entirety of the apocalypse.

“It’s okay, he’s too slow,” Yangyang reminds you, voice barely a whisper as he helps you stand.

“We can just take the other street—it’s a little longer but it’s mostly safe and there’s no way he can—”

Yangyang is interrupted by a sickening growl from behind you and you jump back. There’s another one. And another. You count four more before holding back a swear. Yangyang grabs you by the shoulder and the two of you take a step back, onto the sidewalk. There’s a shop behind you; you read a smeared sign above the plastic door curtains indicating a dumpling place. Even if you were to hide in there, there’s no guarantee you’d be safe. 

But if you’ve learned anything in these months, it’s that anything is always better than nothing.

The night has settled in completely, you realize. You’re about to tug Yangyang to the inside as you turn around, only to freeze up in your spot. A pale woman emerges from the store, her makeup still fresh but you know that look, the look in her eyes. How cruel.

“Please,” she mumbles, taking a step towards you and you think you might just cry. It’s not long before she turns, you think with dread.

You stumble back to Yangyang when she emits a blood curdling screech, lunging at you and to either your alarm or worse, relief, Yangyang pushes you back. You watch with wide eyes as the woman sinks her teeth into his arm, nausea growing at the sight of blood. He moves fast though, his arm swinging the baseball bat to meet the woman in the head, hard enough to knock her out. In these few moments, one of the zombies is close enough to reach an arm out towards you and you swear you can hear the horrid sound of his bones cracking when you step back. The longer you remain in this state, the slower you are. You suppose you should take comfort in these words but when you look at it, you still see a man.

Hollow. They’re all hollow. 

You take a deep breath.

Just as the thought crosses your head, you see Yangyang swing his bat again, meeting the zombie on the head and much to your wide-eyed horror, the head flies off into the dumpling shop and the body reacts with just about as much confusion as you do. It wildly waves about its hands in the now vacant spot before crumpling onto the road with a quiet realization.

Yangyang makes a face, pressing his knuckle to his mouth to prevent himself from what you presume is gagging. However, when you look closely, he seems to be holding back a laugh instead and very painfully so. You know he has a habit of laughing at the most inappropriate times but this, it really takes the cake.

“Home run?” he suggests, turning to you with a sheepish half-grin. There’s no hint of malice in his voice and you think that it’s probably not that he enjoys swinging his baseball bat at zombies. 

“You’re disgusting,” you reply, shaking your head.

“Maybe I should leave you here then.” 

You can’t believe he has the gall to be cheeky with blood running down his arm and four of the undead drooling at the sight of you two. 

“Do you think we can find ingredients that aren’t stale here? I miss having dumplings.”

“Yangyang.”

“Okay, okay.”

The other ones are still far enough and the two of you take this chance to run off towards the street Yangyang mentioned earlier and safely out of view. You notice him panting heavier than before, and your eyes scan over his arm in worry. The bite is ugly, red with oozing blood, and you hold back the urge to ask him if he’s anaemic. 

Yangyang follows your eyes before an ‘ah’ leaves his lips. He spins his head to the right, trying to catch a glimpse of the wound in the same manner a dog chases after its own tail. He puts the bat down to try and twist his arm to see the injury but you stop him, clicking your tongue at his silly behaviour.

“You’re not twelve, Yangyang,” you scold. “Let’s get back to the hotel first.”

He shrugs, and you think some provoking words are ready to leave his mouth when he simply picks up his bat and walks off. You blink before quickening your steps to catch up with him. The blood dripping down his forearm makes you feel a little unwell but you know better than to touch infections.

It takes around fifteen minutes longer than usual to reach the hotel—Yangyang was right. It is safer here, with no zombies lurking around the corners. He must have been out late when he was scouting, you think with distaste.

You reach the now-rusting gates of your haven without trouble and the moment you reach, Yangyang falls to his knees, heaving a breath he seems to have been holding. You rush to him, eyes frantic when you reach your hand out to him, and he flinches, moving away from you.

“Don’t,” he mutters before getting up. “You turning into a real zombie would be my personal nightmare.”

It’s not enough to curb your worry but you follow him nonetheless, the stupid, wavering grin on his face making you unable to decipher what he’s really feeling. 

The familiar smell of honeysuckle washes into you as you pass by the entrance, locking the door behind you as Yangyang falls onto one of the chairs in the lobby. Kunhang happened to be passing by, a muffled swear leaving him when he sees the blood on Yangyang’s arm.

“You didn’t touch him, did you?” he asks, pulling on his gloves to further see the wound. A former med student is the best you have here, and somehow, you’ve never seen him complain about having to take care of someone as bothersome as Yangyang. 

You shake your head in reply to Kunhang and watch as he runs from shelf to shelf to procure more bandages than you’ve ever seen in your life. You’ve been seeing an awful lot lately. 

“We’re going to run out of bandages in a week if he keeps this up,” Kunhang says with a frown, moving so fast you can barely see his hands. “He’ll be okay, I guess. The virus just makes him dizzy.”

He’s probably thinking the same thing you are. Something serious happening to Yangyang is a little bit of a miracle. Maybe he’ll finally be set right in the head. 

Even so, you know Kunhang is worried despite his quick response, his frown lines deepening once he’s done wrapping up. He sighs before waltzing off to discard his gloves.

It’s not that you aren’t impressed by Kunhang; you’ve just seen him do that too many times to count. And of course, it’s mostly Yangyang on the receiving end. They might be good friends but this also happens to be the only time they're serious together. Moreover, Kunhang seems to beat Yangyang in the talking-for-twelve-hours-straight department. You have to admit though, being in charge of first aid for the few people stuck in this hotel is not an easy business. 

You take a seat opposite to Yangyang, dozing off in his chair and wonder if you should wipe the drool off his chin. Disgusting, you think to yourself, but another part of you dares to offer the word cute. 

The best thing about barricading yourself in a hotel during the apocalypse is not having to worry about beds. There’s at least five hundred rooms in this skyrise, more than enough for, what, sixteen people? The place is so big that you hardly run into the others. The only rule around here is regarding the pantry—to write down who’s taken what on the notepad stuck to one corner. Despite what movies show, people are far more helpful to each other in times of need, more so than usual even. You relax into the chair, the velvet cushion feeling comfortable against your back. 

There’s a nice communal feeling in this place. 

You frown. It’s not like you can stay here forever. 

At the very least, you can pretend each sundown and sunrise is ordinary here. You close your eyes, and slowly, thoughts of why you’re trying so hard to remember life before this drift away.

//

Yangyang wakes up before you do, grinning like crazy as he shrugs you awake. You stare at him through groggy eyes, untangling your limbs from yourself. The cold seeps into you and you shiver, hugging yourself.

“We found the keys to the lounge,” he rushes, albeit in a gentle voice. “Guess what?”

“Unh?”

“There’s a campfire spot over there! The others already started but I thought I should wake you up.”

It’s just like him to be excited about something like that. You get up nevertheless, Yangyang pulling you through the stairs and onto the only elevator that seems to work around here. There’s quite a few things about this hotel left to be figured out. You’re going to have to start worrying anyway when the power from the generator runs out.

Kunhang and an older man, Mr Kang, are the only ones there once you reach. You had expected it but the lounge is gigantic and a small part of it provides the artificial campfire area. There are paintings of wild animals and trees for children, you assume, on the walls only cut off by a large vent on the ceiling. The fire burns bright over the large circle of soil and firewood, whose authenticity is debatable. You sigh at the warmth, having grown tired of the autumn weather’s mood swings.

Kunhang greets the two of you with a grin before delicately poking Mr Kang to at least acknowledge your presence. It’s funny, the lot of you.

The place is a little small, considering there’s a literal fire in the middle of the room. You almost sit on Yangyang because he shifts too suddenly at Mr Kang’s disapproval of proximity, a small yelp leaving you whereas Yangyang, for the first time, looks like he’d rather die. He mutters an apology, and two of you manage to sit a good two feet apart, sudden awkwardness rising in the air—all of it unnoticed by Mr Kang. You heard he was a banker but if Kunhang and Yangyang had a polar opposite, it would most certainly be him. You can’t even remember the man’s voice.

You think you should say something but Kunhang’s laughter breaks the silence. There’s an unspoken exchange between him and Yangyang, piquing your curiosity though you aren’t sure what you should be asking. You just assume it’s one of their stupid inside jokes.

“I left your gift on your table. You can add it to your dumb shoe collection,” Kunhang tells Yangyang, smiling before standing up to stretch. “I’m going to bed. Mr Kang, won’t you accompany me?”

Mr Kang gets up begrudgingly and you’re about to ask them to stay longer when Kunhang turns to you enthusiastically. “Good night, (name). Don’t have too much fun. Although, I suppose there’s no better time to have too much fun either.”

You watch with furrowed brows as the two disappear into the doorway and down the stairs. You spend a couple of moments in silence before clearing your throat. When it goes unnoticed, you turn to Yangyang despite the warmth on your face. 

“It’s not dumb,” he mutters to himself, a little zoned out.

You stare at him for a few moments and the familiar feeling rises in your throat, now with a little voice to accompany it. 

Cute.

You cough, distracting yourself with any and all thoughts you would rather have, even of the zombies. Now isn’t the time—or is it the perfect time? You shake your head, calming yourself.

“Does it… hurt?” You ask, eyeing Yangyang’s arm.

He looks up as if broken from a daze, the campfire lights still dazzling in his eyes. You hold back a laugh. He really is a child; if he’s so easily mesmerized by fires, that is.

“Probably not any worse than the lady I whack-a-mole’d. Now that must’ve hurt.” Yangyang puffs his cheek before looking straight at you.

You stare back. It’s not the weirdest thing he’s said.

“What? I feel bad beating the crap out of zombies sometimes,” he says, scratching the back of his head. 

You hum in response. The thought of Yangyang developing a conscience is almost as bad as having to think about zombies. Though, you’ll have to admit, it does give you a strange relief. Zombies can’t really feel pain—they are, after all, numb in every possible sense—but some part of you wonders if it’s alright like this. Morals and survival aren’t meant to overlap. 

You feel the need to distract yourself with something.

“Hey,” you call, moving closer to Yangyang such that your shoulders almost touch. Before you know it, you brush the hair from his face, trying to style the mess into something more neat—a thing you’ve been wanting to do since the first time you saw him. Every time you’d see the messy mop of hair at an official event of the debate club, you’d have this strong urge and an almost putrid form of annoyance. You still don’t know how he managed to get in.

“You don’t look terrible with parted hair,” you muse. “You could’ve looked more decent at the debates.”

You look down from his hair to see Yangyang frozen, eyes wide as if a deer in the headlights.

“Are- Are you not breathing?” you ask.

Yangyang sucks in a large chunk of air, fast enough to choke on it and break into a coughing fit as he turns away from you. You reach out to pat his back but he waves his hand at you, indicating he’s fine before he can turn to you.

You look at him with no particular emotion, the night breeze having worked its way to you.

“What was that about a gift? Are you and Kunhang getting things for each other without telling me?” you say, trying to lighten the atmosphere.

There's a short pause, filled with the crackling of fire.

“It’s my birthday,” Yangyang says with a small smile as the campfire lights dance across his cheeks.

And yet, the words come out sad as if he’d been waiting for an occasion to tell you. You look at him, eyes widening ever so slightly accompanied by the loss of words and take a sharp breath.

“I’m not going to ask for a gift,” Yangyang teases. “Don’t look so worried.”

You open your mouth and close it again, unable to explain the gentle wash of sadness overcome you when you see just a boy. For all the talking he does, he never asks for much. 

“I mean, I- I liked spending the day with you. Why do you look so sad? Did I say something? Again?”

You look over his features, from his brow bone to his wide eyes to his lips and the conclusion arrives as gently as the end of the world. What’s the worst that could happen?

You quickly pull him into a hug, still careful of his injury, and a vaguely embarrassing sound escapes Yangyang, something akin to a sheep’s call. He clears his throat which turns into coughing before he can wrap his arms around you, his breathing soft against your shoulder. 

“I’m- I’m alive, you know? I don’t think I’m dying any time soon. I- I can’t even get infected! You know that.”

“That’s not why I’m- I…” You pull back, steeling your eyes so you don’t feel the warmth of embarrassment. 

Just like you prepare for debates, you think to yourself. Maybe Yangyang was right about you being a zombie—the way you follow the same drudging formula.

“I like you,” you say, your words more of a strained whisper but they’re out before you know it. You can fake confidence, you tell yourself. It’s horrible timing and spending your (potentially) last days with someone who rejected you is just another way to shoot yourself in the foot.

But part of you has been wanting to do this for so long that you almost don’t mind.

Yangyang sucks in a breath, pressing his knuckles to his mouth as he straightens.

“That was- Wow. Okay. I- Uh. Wow.”

You let the heat grow stronger in your cheeks, racking your head for an explanation or even a lie. Maybe you can say it was a mistake. 

“I- I meant…” You lose track of your words. You can’t lie.

“I’ve never been confessed to,” he blurts, and if you squint, you swear you can see him blushing.

“Huh?”

Yangyang coughs again, followed by the same embarrassing sound. “That was- That was the first time.”

The silence between you is accompanied by the crackling of fire and the soft path-making of wind. You’re at a loss for words, something that you should be used to by now—they clearly belong to someone else.

“Oh my god, that was so stupid,” he says, pulling a horrified face as he frantically waves his hands about. “I meant to say I like you too but I- I guess I forgot to say it out loud. Ah, crap- I sound even stupider now, don’t I?”

Your lips twitch, trying to contain your smile but you’re seized with uncontrollable laughter anyway. The mortified expression on Yangyang’s face makes you burst into another fit of giggles before you can somewhat compose yourself.

“I think that’s the longest you’ve been quiet for,” you say in between recurring laughter. “Did anyone ever tell you being able to talk fast doesn’t get you ahead in debate clubs?”

Yangyang frowns.

“Oh, I just joined because I thought it’d get on your nerves,” he says, not a hint of jest in his voice.

You straighten away from him, the smile dropping from your face.

“You can’t be serious.”

He grins sheepishly, scratching the back of his head and offering no explanation. You huff in exasperation, getting up abruptly to avoid another oncoming headache. It’s a little difficult, considering you have the human version of it right beside you.

“Wait- Where are you going?” Yangyang scrambles up to his feet. “It’s my birthday, you know?”

You turn around and put your hands on your hips, a small smile on your face at the sight of him. “It’s midnight already.”

“Oh. How was I supposed to know?”

You laugh, shaking your head. Maybe the little rascal is special.

“Hey,” Yangyang calls. “You know, since this is the end of the world and all…”

You stare at him, heartbeat erratic at the lack of distance and despite the fading of teenage fantasies. Yangyang shifts nervously, glancing here and there while simultaneously trying to keep eye contact with you, an action which makes you hold back a chuckle. There’s a particular twinkle in his eyes but he can’t seem to be able to look at you straight.

“Can I kiss you?” he asks, finally.

And what a daring end to the world it is.

[northlight14]

A love for love

Description: Roman loved love. He always had, even as a small child. So why was it so different whenever he was involved?

TW: panic attack, mention of making out but nothing is actually shown, cursing, questioning, unrequited love, let me know if I should add anything else

Ships: unrequited royality, platonic roceit, dukeceit

Genre: high school au

Prompt: prompt 6, aromantic (prompt by @pridewrite2021)

Roman loved love. He always had. Even as a small child, he'd watch wide eyed as Prince Charming leaned down and gave sleeping beauty true loves kiss, something so powerful that it was able to break an evil witches curse. He'd stayed up till early hours in the morning, squealing with excitement as he read about two warriors able to take on an entire army, motivated by their want to keep the other safe and stealing glances at each other as their metal swords collided with the enemies weapon. He'd sing his heart out when a romance song came on the radio, gushing about their love interest with such emotion that Roman adored.

Yes, Roman loved love.

So why was it so different whenever he was involved?

The earliest memory Roman had of this was when he was in first grade. Two of his classmates ran up to him giggling as they sang "Savannah has a crush on you!" Instead of feeling that overwhelming joy like the ones described in his books and music, he felt a deep cutting disgust in his stomach. Roman felt less like he could conquer the world and more like the world was going to swallow him whole. Rather than singing any great love song that he'd sang so many times in his room or in the car, he began crying instead while the two girls looked at him in confusion.

"It was just because I don't like her." Roman told himself.

But this feeling of being out of place only grew as his fellow classmates gushed about their boyfriends and girlfriends, crushes and which cartoon character they find cute. Granted, they were in second and third grade, so the terms "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" roughly translated to "they let me borrow their crayon at break once and now we're in love and going to get married." However, this love for love spread like a virus and Romans desire to fit in only grew. So, during a sleepover with his friends, Roman looked upon the TV, at the princess Aurora and decided 'She'd make a good crush.' Before announcing it to the crowd of toddlers, the words immediately sounding wrong as he spoke them, as if he'd spoken them in a foreign language. He decided that night to never speak of his supposed "crush" ever again. Roman liked Aurora with Prince Philip much more, anyway.

Roman was in fifth grade when he was talking to one of his best friends, Valorie. The two of them just laughing and joking when his friends approached.

"Who's your girlfriend, Ro?" one laughed, putting his arm around Roman. And he knew it was a joke. He knew that. But it still felt like the arm hadn't wrapped around his shoulders and instead knocked all the air out his lungs in one hard punch. This moment lingered in his mind like a haunting apparition, quickly causing any friendships with girls to become strained. First only talking occasionally while in class or on the yard, to only talking when his guy friends weren't around, to only texting outside of school to nothing at all. Roman mourned these friendships but it had been made clear that boys and girls couldn't just be friends and the idea of people thinking he was dating any of these people made him feel like a caged bird.

Later that year Roman decided, despite his love for love, he didn't want to date. The reason for this being...

"I'm just more focused on my career."

"I just don't see the point in dating right now."

"I've never really liked anyone so what's the point?"

"I just like being more focused on myself."

And any other excuse he could possibly come up with, repeating them as many times as he needed to to believe them. Roman had always been a good actor, after all. But, of coarse, with this supposed decision came "reassurance" from adults, as if they had the ability to see the future.

"You just haven't met the right person, yet."

"You'll change your mind one day, when you get a bit older."

"All kids say that at your age."

"Roman isn't interested in dating YET."

These invalidating promises made Romans blood boil the more he heard them. It was as if he was yelling while trapped in a soundproof box, unable to escape. But, despite what seemingly everyone around him was saying, Roman knew deep down that romance just wasn't for him.

He also remained thankful that this love for love hadn't infected his friendship too much.

That was until seventh grade when what was originally a few cases of a love for love became an epidemic. It seemed that all anyone wanted to know was "do you have a crush on her?" "Did you hear that Lily and Reese are going out?" "Do you find her attractive?" This soon made its way over to his friends as they talked about how hot the girls were and teased each other relentlessly about who they liked. Roman once again felt like an outsider in his friend group. His friends conversations about their girlfriends may as well have been spoken in Latin.

Then the day came when his twin brother, Remus, came out as gay and started dating a guy named Janus. It then occurred to Roman.

"Maybe the reason I haven't been feeling anything for all these girls was because they were girls! Maybe I like boys instead!" Roman had never been a very logical person but this definitely seemed to make more sense. If he didn't like women then that surely must mean that he liked men instead, right? Because otherwise...otherwise Roman didn't know what that meant.

So Roman tried. Really God damn tried to find boys cute, to fantasize about dating them, to relate to gay experiences. But all he was met with was the same foreign and hollow feeling he'd felt when he lied about having a crush back in 2nd grade. Roman quickly began feeling his love for the concept of love diminish.

So when Roman entered grade 9, he decided to put anything to do with his romantic feelings (or lack there of) in a little box in the back of his mind to deal with later. Instead putting his passion and good acting skills to use by joining his schools drama department. The moment he stepped foot on stage, he felt himself come alive. The crowd, the praise, the creativity, it was addicting.

And it was only made better with the more friends he made. There was one person who he grew partially close to. Patton Heart. The two quickly became best friends, often hanging out outside of rehearsals and texting non stop. And, for the first time in what seemed like years, Roman was happy and comfortable.

That was until 10th grade. Roman way lying on his bed watching Netflix on his phone when a message from Patton came through. Roman clicked on the message and was caught massively off guard as he read it.

Patton: hey, Roman. So I've been thinking a lot lately. In particular about us and about you. And over the past few months I've started to realize that I have a really big crush on you. You're really handsome, funny and talented and I love spending time with you. It's totally ok if you don't like me back, but I figured it's better to be honest.

It should've been it. The moment when one of the main characters confesses their feelings for the love interest and they proclaim they feel the same way. Sparks fly and their hearts beat faster with excitement. It all becomes so clear when they hear that confession in movies and books.

But this wasn't a movie.

Roman felt time stand still as he read the message, his hands shaking so much he didn't think he would be able to respond even if he knew how to answer.

He couldn't breath. Why couldn't he breath?! The edges of his vision went fuzzy as he desperately gasped for air.

"Patton's great." He thought through his suffocating panic. "He's funny and charming and sweet. You should like him. Why don't you like him? What's wrong with you?!" Romans thoughts yelled as he tried desperately to hold back the tears threatening to spill over.

Not sure of what else to do, Roman ran to Remus' room, hoping he'd know how to respond.

Roman knocked on his brothers door and Remus responded with a very annoyed "come in" after a few beats of silence. Remus and Janus were sat on Remus' bed and Roman could tell from their slightly red lips that the two had been making out. But he wasn't in the headspace to even pretend to care that he'd interrupted them right now.

"Ugh, what do you want?" Remus said, clearly too irritated by his brothers presence to notice his distress.

"P-Patton just messaged me s-saying he likes me and I don't know what to say." Roman barely stuttered out, trying desperately not to cry in front of Remus and his boyfriend.

"Aw, cute. Roro finally got a man." Remus joked but Roman was definitely not in the mood for that kind of humor.

"Do you like him back?" Janus asked, calmly, clearly taking more notice of Romans distress.

"Well, I do. But not like that."

"Ok, so just tell him that. It doesn't have to be this whole thing. Why are you getting so upset?" Remus said, looking at Roman as if he was stupid.

Which, to be fair, Roman did feel very stupid right now.

"He's my best friend. I don't want to upset him." Yeah, that was the reason Roman was freaking out. He just didn't want to hurt Patton. That was it.

"Well, just say you don't want a relationship right now or some shit. Besides, he's probably more worried now because you've taken so long to answer." Remus pointed out. Yeah, Roman was never coming to Remus with his problems ever again.

"Yeah...ok." Roman said. Slowly, he walked out the room, noticing Janus looking at him curiously but deciding not to focus on it.

Roman: I'm really sorry Patton, but I don't feel the same way. We can still be friends tho. It doesn't have to be awkward between us. Especially because I really like being friends with you.

Patton: Yeah, that's ok. This is kinda what I was expecting to be honest. But yeah, I still wanna stay friends.

A few days later Janus came over again for dinner. Afterwards, Roman went into the living room and sat on the couch, scrolling through Instagram.

To his surprise, Janus followed after him and sat next to him. "So, how are you feeling after a few days ok. Broken his heart yet?" Janus teased.

Roman huffed out a laugh. "Uh, yeah, we agreed to just stay friends. Which I'm happy about but it's also really weird. I honestly don't know where we go from here which sucks because I really like Patton. Just not like...that." Janus nodded in understanding.

"You must care about him a lot if you had a panic attack just because you didn't want to hurt his feelings." Janus said. Roman just shrugged in response. "So, does that mean you like someone else?" Janus asked.

"No...I. I don't know. I've...I've never really liked anyone. I don't think I ever will. And people say I'll change my mind but...it isn't like I've made a choice. I've felt like this my whole life and everyone around me has had a crush on someone by now. I just... don't think I was built for romance. Which I know probably sounds stupid but that's just how I feel." He said, so honest it almost hurt.

Janus nodded slowly, taking in what Roman was saying. "It doesn't sound stupid." He said before pausing, as if considering his next choice of words. "Roman...have you ever heard of the term aromantic?" He asked.

"No." Roman answered, looking at Janus curiously.

"It basically means someone who experiences little to no romantic attraction. So they don't get crushes and stuff like that." He explained.

Roman felt his heart leap and for once it wasn't because of a fight or flight reflex. "Wait, that's a thing?" He asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, a surprising number of people identify with it. I don't want to assume anything but I thought I might mention it just from what you've told me and what Remus has said in the past. Plus that panic on your face yesterday reminded me a bit of when I tried to force myself into romantic situations with girls." Janus smirked to himself.

That night Roman researched more on aromanticism than he did for his science test. The more he searched, the more it just made sense. Of coarse, he still had a long way to go towards self acceptance. Roman could feel himself already starting to mourn the idea that this was a choice he'd made ages ago and he was going to feel romantic love one day. It was an odd feeling, realizing that even though he knew deep down it wasn't a decision and he'd always hated when people made those comments, a part of him took comfort in adults promising that he'd change his mind one day. He was also horrified to realize that he didn't know what his future was supposed to look like now without romance. After all, media seemed to show single middle aged adults exclusively as depressed and lonely. But as he scoured through wiki articles to tumblr pages to memes, he knew this was a good start to unlearning any nonsense society had been shoving down his throat.

The more Roman learned and the more people he talked to online about it, the more he started to feel his love for love increase. But instead of it being centered on a prince and princess in a movie, two in love warriors keeping each other alive in a book or a cheesy love song on the radio, it was a different type of love Roman was finally starting to feel the more he accepted himself.

Self love.

Reblog’s >>>> likes

[corona-extra-newsletter]

3/15/20 corona extra: cracking open cold covid facts

Announcements & Thank Yous

“About This Newsletter” has been moved to the bottom so it’s easier to skip if you’ve seen the other ones.

Some institutions do not update on Sundays. I have included the date of everything that is in question. That is also why this update is early :)

Thank you to @hysterical-random-things for letting me know about the first death in NYC and where to find that news, to @nanook2000 for information and links about KY’s response, and to @akashicsage for all of the good deets on San Diego county. If you have reliable information from a good source that I don’t seem to have, please shoot me a message/ask/pigeon!

Places now included in the newsletter are: Utah, Oregon, Washington, the Netherlands, Minnesota, Kentucky, Georgia, Nebraska, the UK, and possibly some others I missed here but included in the newsletter. Please send an ask or a message if you would like a place included!

A word on mortality rates: they look very high in some places in the US right now because testing is limited to the sickest patients. People who have mild illness and are well enough to go or stay home may not have been tested until very recently when several states started mass testing/drive through testing. Testing is still limited in a lot of states, so this will be a rolling increase situation, I anticipate.

A word on case numbers: due to the aforementioned expansion of testing capacity in the US (thank fuck), case numbers are gonna grow in a really, really scary-looking way this week. This is not actually as scary as it seems, because it means we are catching more of the cases that would have gone unnoticed and have better information to help more people.

Just The Numbers

Case numbers

Total cases: 153,517 (10,982 new)

Total deaths: 5,735 (343 new)

China: 81,048 cases (27 new!!), 3204 deaths (10 new)

This gives us a mortality rate of ~3.95%

Excluding China: 72,469 cases (10,955 new), 2531 deaths (333 new)

143 countries/territories reporting cases, 9 are new today including:

Kazakhstan: 6 cases

Curacao: 2 cases

Namibia: 2 cases

Central African Republic: 1 case

Congo: 1 case

Equatorial Guinea: 1 case

Eswatini: 1 case

Mauritania: 1 case

Mayotte: 1 case

Italy is reporting over 20,000 cases with over 1400 deaths

Iran is reporting over 10,000 cases with over 700 deaths

South Korea, Spain, and Germany are reporting over 5,000 cases

SK reports 75 deaths

Spain reports 289 deaths

Germany reports 11 deaths

International/General News

Many places experiencing a worsening epidemic are following the lead of countries including South Korea and instituting drive-through testing and high-throughput testing. Some tests (like the ones being used in Vietnam) can have a result in as soon as an hour, enabling people to be quickly cleared or quarantined. (This is super cool science! Yay, science!)

Johns Hopkins University is putting on a webinar on Tuesday, 3/17. If you are interested, you can sign up/check it out here: https://www.jhsph.edu/events/2020/covid-19/

South Korea’s epidemic is currently being driven by a fringe religious group, which represents approximately 60% of all cases.

Italy’s health system is overwhelmed, which is likely why their case-fatality rate is so high. Doctors, nurses, respiratory techs, first responders, lab personnel, and everyone else involved in hospitals/health care are working their butts off and doing some frankly heroic shit to help people.

Singapore has instituted strict travel restrictions on visitors/transiting people from European countries, including Italy, France, Spain, and Germany; this is in addition to restrictions on visitors from Iran, China, and South Korea.

Some doctors from Washington state, USA (the ones seeing the most cases) are noticing that myocarditis (viral infection & inflammation of the heart) seems to be what kills patients, not the ARDS (acute respiratory distress syndrome) that requires ventilation. This is obviously in early stages and more research is ongoing.

The World Health Organization is setting up three hospitals with advanced respiratory care capabilities in Erbil, Baghdad, and Basra, Iraq.

Virology Corner

Today’s topic: where did SARS-CoV-2 come from?

SARS-CoV-2 is what’s known as a zoonotic virus. This means that it spread from animals to humans, and then gained the ability (through mutations) to pass from human to human.

We think that SARS-CoV-2 came from bats (Rhinopholus) or pangolins- which doesn’t mean we need to blame bats or pangolins for this, they’re innocent bystanders in the game of cat-and-mouse viruses and animals are constantly playing over evolutionary timescales. Also they’re pretty ding dang cute.

(Not to get much more depressing, but here goes, as humans encroach on more and more land and as climate change progresses, more zoonoses will affect humans. Sorry to be a mega-bummer.)

Question Tuesday

Today’s question comes from @adventurecalls! They ask (paraphrased because the ask got eaten): “If I do get sick, how do I know when it’s ok to go back to doing stuff?”

This is a really good question, and one that’s rapidly being worked out by public health people as we speak (whoa)!

In general, the thought is that once you’re totally recovered you’re not able to spread the virus, but there’s not concrete data on this. The best we have is this recent study in the Lancet (https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736(20)30566-3/fulltext) which indicates that people who recover shed virus for 20 days from symptom onset, whereas those who die shed virus continuously until their death, a maximum course of 37 days.

I obviously can’t give individual medical advice, which this is not, but the guidance from the WHO is excellent in general, and I will keep readers posted when there’s more information.

If you have questions, ask them and they’ll appear here in the next issue of corona extra!

Regional News (if you want somewhere added just let me know. Don’t be shy!! I highly recommend you just skip to your area if you don’t wanna be overwhelmed.)

Canada: last updated 9:00 AM EST 3/15/20

Total cases: 249 confirmed (+5), 4 presumed (-1), 1 death (3/9/20, no change)

All current cases had symptoms starting between 1/17/20 and 3/9/20

One of these cases is the PM’s wife (mild case); the couple are in quarantine for 14 days now. This is not expected to affect Canada’s management, but is definitely a reminder that being a political leader does not grant one immunity to COVID-19.

12% of cases have required hospitalization

79% of cases are in travellers, and a further 8% in their close contacts

Affected provinces include (both confirmed and presumptive cases): BC (73, +0), Alberta (39, -2), Saskatchewan (2, +0), Manitoba (4, +0), Ontario (103, +2), Quebec (24, +3), Newfoundland and Labrador (1) New Brunswick (2, +0), and PEI (1).

Newly affected provinces include: Newfoundland and Labrador

4 cases in repatriated travellers

The Netherlands

I do not speak Dutch so please correct me if I’ve fucked something up royally

1135 confirmed cases, 20 deaths

176 new cases, 8 new deaths

Provinces (?) affected include: Drenthe (15), Flevoland (19), Friesland (10), Gelderland (100), Groningen (9), Limburg (129), North Brabant (446), North Holland (90), Overijssel (28), Utrecht (109), South Holland (110), and Zeeland (12).

I think this is all of them based on a quick Wikipedia investigation?

Interestingly they tested a bunch of people who work in a hospital and found a pretty high (4%) rate of asymptomatic infection. This seems like bad news (are these people spreading, etc) but it’s actually pretty good news because it means the mortality rate is lower than we think. I’ll update here as I find out more, which is hampered by my inability to speak Dutch.

New Zealand

8 confirmed cases, 2 probable cases

2 new cases, one of which was diagnosed in Australia

Both patients were on international flights and there is extensive contact tracing underway

2 patients have required hospitalization but both have been discharged

6700 people have completed self-isolation, 3015 people continue to be isolated

These people all deserve a medal, thank you for protecting your communities!

Golden Princess cruise berthed in Akaroa has one confirmed and two potential cases. The ship is quarantined now.

Norway 

1077 cases, 166 of which are new

I still don’t speak Norwegian so if I screwed up lemme know

Only 1 confirmed death, possibly one more to be confirmed 3/16 but only official numbers go here

Also possible that it’s been confirmed and I don’t know because I don’t speak Norwegian

287 cases are due to community transmission, 710 acquired outside of Norway, the rest are undetermined

Locations where people became infected include Austria (491), Italy (144), Switzerland (14), UK (12), Spain (9), France (8), USA (7), Iran (5), China (1), Hong Kong (1), other countries with more than 3 cases (80), and other countries with less than 3 cases (20).

Breakdown of cases by area: Agder (55, +3), Innlandet (72, +16), Møre og Romsdal (20, +4), Nordland (8, +0), Oslo (281, +59), Rogaland (127, +9), Troms og Finnmark (20, +4), Trøndelag (50, +4), Vestfold og Telemark (48, +9), Vestland (118, +9), and Viken (278, +47)

Good job Nordland! No new cases today! :D

United Kingdom in general: this is pretty rough because apparently the public health strategy coming from Boris is “herd immunity” aka let everyone get sick and then they’ll all be immune, since the only other way to get herd immunity is a vaccine that…..we don’t have yet. Boris does not understand how to medicine. 

Fuck you, Boris.

1372 total cases (+20%), 232 are new today

35 total deaths, 14 new today

England

1099 total cases

Affected NHS regions are as follows: London (407), South East (175), Midlands (94), North East and Yorkshire (91), North West (76), East of England (71), and South West (61).

Deaths are not being reported by the PHS but I will do my best to split these out in the next few editions using news reports etc

Scotland

153 cases total and 1 death

Affected health boards are as follows: Ayrshire and Arran (6), Borders (7), Fife (7), Forth Valley (10), Grampian (12), Greater Glasgow and Clyde (39), Highland (2), Lanarkshire (16), Lothian (28), Shetland (11), and Tayside (15).

I don’t know if this is all of the health  boards in Scotland but it sure is the ones that have confirmed covid19.

Wales

94 cases, 34 new

Welsh authorities are now recommending that anyone who develops a persistent cough and/or fever self-isolate, and only call 111 if they are unable to cope with their symptoms at home

Affected areas include: Blaenau Gwent County (3, +2), Bridgend County (1, +0), Caerphilly County (11, +4), Carmarthenshire County (7, +3), City & County of Swansea (18, +4), City of Cardiff (8, +3), Conwy County (1, +0), Flintshire County (1, +0), Isle of Anglesey (1, +0), Monmouthshire County (5, +1), Neath Port Talbot (11, +0), Newport City (5, +3), Pembrokeshire (2, +0), Powys County (5, +0), and Wrexham County (1, +0).

Newly affected areas include: Ceredigion County (1), Rhondda Cynon Taf County (2), Torfaen County (2), and Vale of Glamorgan (1).

Northern Ireland

45 cases, 11 new

This is all the data I have, sorry

This may actually be a thing that makes northern/southern Ireland cooperate, which is a small spark of hope in the raging dumpster fire that is this pandemic (I hyperbolize, but only slightly)

US in general: All this info is from the state & county health departments unless I say otherwise. The national response is a trash fire (but maybe hopefully improving this week??) CDC information is updated weekdays; total US cases are from 3/13 at 4 PM

1629 total cases, 41 deaths (2.5% mortality rate), with 46 states and DC reporting cases.

CDC is now recommending all in person gatherings with more than 50 people be canceled for the next 8 weeks. This sucks for me personally and probably a lot of you all too. Hang in there.

California: updated around 10 AM PST, 3/15/20

The state dept of health is not providing a ton of info right now, so all of this is coming from county health departments, which are doing really excellent work btw. Love local public health departments <3

My official take is that the higher level government orgs in the US are muzzled from above and therefore totally shitting the bed and the county-level public health officials are really stepping up to the plate

Total cases not including the ones at Miramar (discussed below): 363, with 4 total deaths

Affected counties include: Alameda (7), Calaveras (2), Contra Costa (29), Fresno (2), Humboldt (1 - recovered), Imperial (2), Los Angeles (53, +11), Madera (1), Marin (5), Orange (14), Placer (8), Riverside (10), Sacramento (29) San Benito (3 - 2 recovered), San Diego (8), San Francisco (28), San Joaquin (8), San Luis Obispo (1), San Mateo (32), Santa Clara (91), Santa Cruz (7), Shasta (1), Solano (6), Sonoma (4), Stanislaus (2), Tulare (2), Ventura (5), Yolo (2)

San Diego: My numbers are not gonna include the federal quarantine situations at Miramar (for repatriated people and the Diamond Princess passengers) because that’s what makes sense right now regarding community transmission. If this changes I will say so.

Unaffected counties include: Alpine, Amador, Butte, Colusa, Del Norte, El Dorado, Glenn, Inyo, Kern, Kings, Lake, Lassen, Mariposa, Mendocino, Merced, Modoc, Mono, Monterey, Napa, Nevada, Plumas, San Bernardino, Santa Barbara, Sierra, Siskiyou, Sutter, Tehama, Trinity, Tuolumne, Yuba

Counties with confirmed community transmission include: Los Angeles, Marin, Orange, Riverside, San Joaquin, Santa Clara, Sonoma

Newly affected counties include San Luis Obispo (3/14)

Colorado - last updated 3/14 at 3 PM

Colorado Springs Bridge Center is under an advisory for possible exposure

Drive-up testing is available now, in Denver and Lowry and possibly other places

1 death, 3/13/20, in El Paso County, a female in her 80s

Community spread has been confirmed

101 confirmed cases, 1 death

Affected counties include: Adams (6), Arapahoe (10), Denver (20), Douglas (4), Eagle (18), El Paso (3), Gunnison (6), Jefferson (9), Larimer (1), Mesa (1), Pitkin (2), Pueblo (1), Summit (2), Weld (3)

Out of state visitors who have tested positive are tallied separately. They are located in the following counties: Pitkin (9), Eagle (2), Routt (1), Denver (1), unknown (2 - wtf??)

Florida - last updated 145 AM EST 3/15/20

115 (+45) cases and 4 deaths (+0)

Florida has not yet confirmed community transmission but it’s almost certainly happening. I’m no longer separating counties with and without confirmed community transmission because of that.

Also, the numbers by county do not add up to the same total because locations are updated less frequently by FLDPH than the total number of cases.

Affected counties  include: Alachua (1, +0), Broward (36, +16), Charlotte (1, +0), Clay (3, +2), Collier (5, +2), Duval (4, +3), Hillsborough (4, +2), Lee (5, +1), Manatee (4, +0), Miami-Dade (13, +5), Nassau (1, +0) Okaloosa (1, +0), Orange (2, +1), Osceola (1), Palm Beach (5, +0), Pasco (2, +1) Pinellas (2, +0), Santa Rosa (1, +0), Sarasota (1, +0) Seminole (1, +0), Volusia (5, +1)

Newly affected counties include: Citrus (1), St. John’s (1)

Port Everglades is under an advisory due to several cases connected to a cruise company based there.

Georgia: last updated 3/15 at 11:43 AM

Y’ALL THEY MADE A HASHTAG. I am NOT making this up. It’s #covid19ga if you want to use that, I guess???

99 cases, 1 death

Affected counties include: Bartow (9), Charlton (1), Cherokee (6), Clayton (2), Clarke (2), Cobb (19), Coweta (2), Dekalb (10), Dougherty (6), Fayette (5), Floyd (4), Fulton (20), Gordon (2), Gwinnett (4), Henry (1), Lowndes (2), Lee (2), Newton (1), and Polk (1).

Illinois: last updated 3/14/20

64 confirmed cases, 16 new, with confirmed community spread

New cases: Chicago (7), Cook not Chicago (4), Kane (1), Lake (1)

195 pending persons under investigation

Affected counties include Cook, Kane, McHenry

Newly affected counties include: Woodford (1), Cumberland (1), St. Clair (2), DuPage (1, first long-term care facility case)

Iowa: last updated 3/14/20

Total cases: 18, 1 new 3/14

Affected counties include: Carroll (1), Dallas (1), Harrison (1), Johnson (14), and Pottawattamie (1)

Community spread confirmed on 3/14/2020

Kansas: last updated 3/14/20

8 confirmed cases

Affected counties include: Johnson (5), Wyandotte (1), Butler (1), Franklin (1)

Kentucky: last updated 3/14 at 6 pm local time

18 confirmed cases

2 new cases, both in Fayette County

One patient in Nelson County tested positive but left the hospital and refused to quarantine himself. Don’t be like this guy. Please. I’m expecting a lot more cases to pop up in Nelson county over the next couple weeks all connected to this one patient.

Apparently there’s now a bunch of cops sitting outside his house to make sure he stays there. Ffs.

Affected counties include: Harrison (6), Fayette (7), Jefferson (3 or 4, possible repeat test), Bourbon (1), Nelson (1), and Montgomery (1)

Governor is recommending hospitals stop elective procedures and childcare centers plan for closure by 3/17/20. Also put in place a bunch of important protections for people who don’t have insurance and stuff. Good job, KY!

First patient has fully recovered! Yay!

Louisiana: last updated 9:30 am 3/15/20

91 cases reported, 14 new

2 deaths, 1 new

Parishes affected:  Jefferson (12, +1), Lafourche (1, +0), Orleans (65, +12), St. Charles (2, +0), St. John the Baptist (1, +0), St. Tammany (4, +2), and Terrebonne (2, +1)

New parishes affected: Bossier (1), Caddo (1), St. Bernard (1)

Massachusetts: last updated 4 pm 3/14/20

138 cases (19 lab confirmed, 119 presumptive positives)

1 new lab confirmed case, 14 new presumptive positives

1083 people in quarantine

Affected counties include: Berkshire (9, 0% change), Essex (5, +150%), Middlesex (65, +8%), Norfolk (28, +16%), Suffolk (27, +3%), and Worcester (2, 0% change)

Newly affected counties include: Barnstable (1) and Bristol (1)

5 cases travel related, 104 (+10%) in one community transmission cluster, others unknown

11 hospitalized, 105 not hospitalized, the rest pending (22)

1 new hospitalization

Michigan: last updated 3/14/20 in the evening

33 cases, 8 new, 0 deaths

Affected counties include: Bay (1), Charlevoix (1), Ingham (1), Kent (3), Macomb (2), Monroe (1), Montcalm (1), Oakland (9), St. Clair (1), Wayne (8), and Washtenaw (4)

Likely community transmission

Minnesota: last updated 3/15

35 cases, community transmission confirmed

Affected counties include: Anoka, Carver, Dakota, Hennepin, Olmstead, Ramsey, Renville, Stearns, Waseca, Washington, and Wright

County numbers are not currently being provided by MN dept of health, just ranges. Hennepin and Ramsey counties have 6-20 cases each.

Hopefully they’ll pull an Ohio and help a girl out soon

Drive through testing available in Olivia

Nebraska: last updated 3/15

Community transmission confirmed: many locations in Douglas County are potential places where transmission has occurred; if you live or have traveled to Douglas County (Omaha), please check the Douglas County COVID-19 monitoring site.

There were also two exposures in Knox County on March 5, at basketball games at Lincoln Southwest HS and North Star HS.

17 cases, no deaths

Affected counties include: Cass (1), Douglas (15) and Knox (1)

New Jersey : last updated 3/14 at 2 pm

69 cases (+38%), 1 death (none new)

Affected counties include: Bergen (25, +47%), Burlington (3, no change), Camden (2, +1), Essex (7, +1), Hudson (5, +2), Middlesex (10, +6), Monmouth (8, +1), Morris (3, no change), Ocean (1, no change), Passaic (2, -1 apparently?), Somerset (1, no change), and Union (1, no change)

Newly affected counties include: Mercer (1)

I dread updating NJ just because the website sucks so bad

Thank you to the commenter who noted that the help line apparently rules and they’ve been advertising it heavily, that’s awesome public health work by NJ!

So that’s a bright spot, eh?

New York: last updated 3/14 at 8 PM

613 cases, 192 new, 1 new death

Affected counties include: Westchester (178, +12%), Nassau (79, +54%), Suffolk (41, +13), Rockland (12, +3), Ulster (5, +0), Dutchess (4, +1), Orange (6, +3), Saratoga (3), Albany (5, +3), Broom (1, +0), Delaware (1, +0), Herkimer (1, +0), Monroe (2, +1), and Schenectady (1, +0).

NYC has 269 cases (+75%) as of 3/15 at noon

Newly affected counties include: Erie (3), Tioga (1), and Tompkins (1)

Drive through testing in New Rochelle and Long Island

All public places are closed in New Rochelle through March 25.

Ohio: last updated 3/15 at 2 pm

36 confirmed cases, 10 new

350 people under investigation

Affected counties include: Belmont (2), Butler (6), Cuyahoga (14), Franklin (3), Lorain (2), Lucas (1), Medina (1), Stark (2), Summit (2), Trumbull (2), Tuscarawas (1)

THEY STARTED GIVING COUNTY BY COUNTY INFO, PRAISE THE LORD!!!

Oregon: last updated 3/14 at 11:00 AM

36 cases, 13 hospitalized at time of positive test, 1 death (3/14)

The following counties are affected: Clackamas (1), Deschutes (3), Douglas (1), Jackson (2), Klamath (1), Linn (9), Marion (2), Multnomah (1), Polk (1), Umatilla (2), and Washington (13).

Pennsylvania: last updated 3/15 at noon

Gritty is now loose and is singlehandedly responsible for all cases in Philadelphia, if you see the orange monster, RUN

63 total cases, 16 new today

No deaths, Gritty is thankfully failing in his mission to murder

Counties affected include: Allegheny (3, +1) Bucks (4, +1), Chester (2, +0), Cumberland (5, +2), Delaware (7, +1), Monroe (6, +3), Montgomery (24, +4), Northampton (1, +0), Philadelphia (6, +2), Pike (1, +0), Washington (1, +0), Wayne (1, +0)

Newly affected counties include: Lehigh (1) and Luzerne (1)

446 people under investigation pending test results

Rhode Island: last updated 3/13/20

~500 people in quarantine for close contact situations

57 pending people under investigation

20 confirmed cases, no deaths

Next expected update 3/16 in the AM

South Dakota: last updated 3/15

9 confirmed cases, no new cases since 3/14

6 pending cases under investigation

Affected counties include: Beadle (1), Bon Homme (1), Charles Mix (1), Davison (1), McCook (1), Minnehaha (3), and Pennington (1)

No community transmission

Texas: last updated 3/15

56 total cases, 5 new.

Highly likely that there has been community transmission, unconfirmed currently

Affected counties include: Bell (1, +0), Bexar (3, +2), Brazoria (2, +0), Collin (6, +1), Dallas (8, +0), El Paso (1, +0), Fort Bend (9, +0), Galveston (1, +0), Gregg (1, +0), Harris (10, +0), Hays (1, +0), Lavaca (1, +0), Montgomery (3, +0), Smith (4, +1), Tarrant (3, +0), and Travis (1, +0)

Newly affected counties include: Matagorda (1)

The Texas DPH has corrected a tabulation error that affected Gregg and Travis counties.

Utah: last updated 3/15

21 total cases, 14 cases in Utah residents

Affected health districts include: Davis County (3), Salt Lake county (14), Southwest Utah (1), Summit County (2), and Weber-Morgan (1)

The Utah Jazz managed to get more testing than the rest of the country for awhile there, so that’s great for them

Whoever does your graphic design, *greatjob* (the little virus instead of the UDPH logo is CHOICE)

Also, the website is super useful and readable, 10/10 good job Utah

First case of community spread identified on 3/14/20, in Summit County

Schools and universities are closed starting 3/16/20, Mormonism is closed until further notice, and skiing is canceled in Park City and Cottonwood Canyon for a minimum of a week. If you are interested in skiing in Utah, check Ski Utah for a list of closures.

Virginia: last updated 3/15

45 cases total, 4 new

Affected counties/cities include: Arlington (8, +1), Chesterfield (1, +0), Fairfax (10, +0) James City (8, +1), Loudoun (5, +0), Virginia Beach City (4, +1), Prince William (3, +1), Spotsylvania (1, +0), Prince Edward (1, +0), Hanover (1, +0), Harrisonburg City (1, +0), and Alexandria City (1, +0)

No newly affected areas today.

Washington: last updated 3/14 at 2:45 PM

Godspeed, y’all are having a real rough time right now. Yipes. Washington is really hard hit right now, especially King County. Look to Washington State and how they’re coping for a preview of how things are gonna go as the cases develop elsewhere.

642 total cases, 40 deaths (6.2% mortality)

Affected counties include: Clark (3), Columbia (1), Grant (2), Grays Harbor (1), Island (6), Jefferson (1), King (387), Kitsap (3), Kittitas (3), Pierce (26), Skagit (4), Snohomish (154), Spokane (3), Thurston (3), Whatcom (2), and Yakima (4).

39 cases are currently unassigned to a county. These are expected to resolve in the coming days, hopefully.

Deaths have occurred in the following counties: Grant (1), King (35), Snohomish (4),

Wisconsin: last updated 3/15 at 2 PM

33 total cases (6 new), 1 recovered, 0 deaths

Affected counties include: Dane (6, +0), Fond du Lac (11, +5), Milwaukee (7, +1), Pierce (1, +0), Racine (1, +0), Sheboygan (3, +0), Waukesha (3, +0), and Winnebago (1, +0)

Today’s Hot Tips

Make sure you have ibuprofen and tylenol/acetaminophen/APAP/paracetamol at home before you get sick. This isn’t just covid advice, this is life advice in general. (Obvs, ask your doctor about what’s safe to take if you have chronic health conditions etc but this is a general recommendation, not medical advice. As I said, life advice.)

As far as I know, ibuprofen and tylenol are ok, but research may change this. Current research indicates that steroids, which are used in other severe respiratory conditions, may make COVID-19 associated acute respiratory distress syndrome (ARDS) worse. More on this later.

It still can’t hurt to have some tylenol around, though, ya know?

Hand Washing Song of the Day

If you hate singing happy birthday while you wash your hands, I certainly do, try Good as Hell by Lizzo instead!

Sing from “I do my hair toss” to “If he don’t love you anymore” at minimum (if you’re like me and can’t leave a lyric unfinished, go ahead and dry your hands while making your brain happy.) to follow CDC handwashing guidelines! Use soap and water for maximum virus-murdering.

Chill Cat  Otter Corner

https://gfycat.com/pastjovialalligatorgar-otter

Please watch these otters sproing and chase!

About this newsletter

I’m Emily, I’m a 4th year med student w/ a degree in molecular biology. I wrote this because I’m an infectious disease and epidemiology nerd and also all my friends have questions & anxiety. Hi internet!

All this info is sourced from regional & national public health organizations, plus the WHO. It’s as up to date as humanly possible. I’ve been beaming information about this outbreak directly into my brain 24/7 but I still miss stuff. Please let me know if I miss something!

Most public health departments stop updating their information around 4-5 PM local time on weekdays. That means that the earliest this will come out is around 6 PM Pacific time on weekdays going forward. On weekends things update more sporadically and earlier, so who knows what I’ll do then, but I’ll do my best.

Thank you to @marywhal for the excellent title!

For More Information

JHU COVID-19 data center: https://gisanddata.maps.arcgis.com/apps/opsdashboard/index.html#/bda7594740fd40299423467b48e9ecf6

List of peer-reviewed publications: https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/publications.html

WHO daily sitrep: https://www.who.int/docs/default-source/coronaviruse/situation-reports/20200315-sitrep-55-covid-19.pdf?sfvrsn=33daa5cb_6

WHO FAQ: https://www.who.int/news-room/q-a-detail/q-a-coronaviruses

CDC cases in the US (take w/ a grain of salt due to Political Garbage, as detailed above): https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/cases-in-us.html, this also has links to each state’s health dept which may or may not be more up to date than the CDC

[alovevigilante]

(This monologue can be performed with a normal breathing pattern, cause the message is important and should be emphasized accordingly.)

When I was younger I didn’t know from a gay person. I went to a small school, where that wasn’t mentioned. It wasn’t a part of the curriculum in schools in the 80s as it is now. So, when I heard the word, “gay” being used in society it had an entirely different definition from the meaning it takes on today. When I used to use the word “gay” when I was a kid in sentences back in the day to communicate, it was usually to say that something was “uncool”. But that’s grade school for ya. That’s why you’re there when you’re younger, to learn better.

But now at 46, out of school for many years, and after having witnessed, and after getting to know people who define themselves, and identify as “gay” I realize that they are some of the coolest people on this planet. And “gay”, in my new definition, is very very very very (meaning emphasis on very) cool. Cause gay is colorful, all colors, and vibrant. Gay is bright, and fierce. Gay is creative, and brave. And gay is a term to explain certain people’s authenticity; showing themselves to the world honestly, and not afraid to profess and show their love openly.

Being gay is not the issue. The issue is recognizing that all people, no matter who they choose to love, are of LOVE, AND Love is where it’s at! It, in this case, its the feeling of belonging, sharing joy, experiencing happiness. It’s world peace first starting from your internal, individual worldview, and then the world around you. But it starts by leaving the judgement at the door. Because the person that feels the judgement first, is you. And others feel it, if they choose to allow it to affect them. If you don’t like something, and it’s not for you, then don’t do it. We will all be happier by allowing everyone the opportunity to be themselves too, without condemnation, and dipping in others business which isn’t our own. Being responsible for how you feel if we want to stay happy, should be our primary goal. And that’s a big enough job without getting into other people’s lives.

I also forgot to mention, that if you’re at the point in this monologue where you’re not only judging the gays, but you’re judging me for loving and supporting the gays because we’re all human and made of love, please feel free to include yourself in that love. It will help to lift your spirits if you do. Cause when we judge others, we all feel the exclusion. And feeling excluded doesn’t feel good. So please don’t choose a life without love. Choose a more inclusive mindset. Ok? I’ll answer that. Yes it IS ok!

I’m not ok with judgements or hate, cause it hurts the whole of us as a human race. Cause we are all fundamentally the same. Take biology 101 for example. Like the late astronomer, planetary scientist, cosmologist, astrophysicist, astrobiologist, author, and science communicator, Carl Sagan used to say, “we are all made of star stuff.” But the point is, the SAME stuff! Water, skin, muscle, bone and organs… But listen, all science aside, we all have a fundamental need to feel loved, and to belong, no matter how much we fight it sometimes.

Internalizing love, and acting on that inspiration toward all people is needed to change the world in a positive way. And I’M DOWN wIth THAT!!!!!

(Please emphasize the word, “THAT”... say it fast in one syllable, and also, that’s why the “with” in the last sentence, is tiny...)

Let me repeat, I AM DOWN, MEANING in FULL SUPPORT of, the LOVE, and of the GAY NATION because gay people are a part of the whole of who we are as a human race! And no matter how hard one may try, no person is excluded from that. So make it a loving experience.

(Ok, back to a more neutral energy, and for me, that’s not saying much)

So, fellow humans, I’m now also coming out of the closet, to say, that I am extremely JEALOUS in a great way of the gays! (Including the lesbians, cause they’re also under that umbrella term) Because I think they’re AWESOME, and I support them 100%, and I strive to be as cool as they are!!!! Ok?!?! Yeah! It is!!!! So there!!!!! And also, because I love them dearly... 🙈🤷‍♀️💕☺️🥰

*For those of you who read all the way through to judge and rip on my writing, you clearly have missed the point entirely. I chose being gay as a group to use as an example in this case, but sub in any race, and creed, and gender or any group that has been discriminated against at one time or another throughout the history of humanity, and you can get the same result. (Although they are a part of the whole of humanity, hate groups are excluded in this case because, because A. They have excluded themselves with their fear-based, loveless choice of behavior by treating all people as the enemy, and also because some people refuse to sway from their hardened beliefs and B. I’m focusing solely on groups that embrace a loving energy, and don’t wish to harm others.) We are all human. We have all experienced things that have alienated us, and make us feel excluded, no matter how accepted we seem to be outwardly. And we miss out on a lot of wonderful people by excluding them due to our own judgements.

My point of all this writing? To unite people, in human emotions, by my deliberate choice of energy. My message is clear, if you choose to be open enough to glean it. But for those who aren’t, here’s the deal: yes, I am fully aware that my writing isn’t normal. The tactics I use, are unorthodox because it’s a way to get everyone reading on the same side. I’m over separation.

I experiment to try to figure out ways to eradicate the loveless energy. I guess I’m starting to realize that I can’t do it alone. So, some say “choose love”. “Love matters” “Inclusion matters” and it does. But unless we make a conscious effort to change the way we approach our societal norms i.e. comedy, music, entertainment in general, commercialism, big business, government, how we treat one another in our daily lives, and the treatment we accept from others and ourselves, nothing will. The sooner we can internalize that, the better. I guess that’s why I feel that starting with changing myself is the best way to it. You see, I mention all of those things, because they have the biggest platform to influence people. They also have the ability to persuade. If that isn’t utilized for a positive result for all people, we get what we essentially have now; an uneven exchange. And life isn’t fair? That shit, is old school mentality. Life can be anything we want it to be. And that’s the truth. We just have to decide to adjust it.

It’s not easy for me to fully accept myself for some reason. I’m having great difficulty sometimes maintaining a loving outlook. When I judge myself like this. I feel like there must be something fundamentally wrong with me. But there isn’t. We all feel this way from time to time. What I think about me, is what I need to focus on. Because what I feel about everything, comes from that very place. I act according to how I feel. Point blank. When I’m not consciously trying to think differently, cause I’ve been conditioned by myself to think in a fearful way, I also get just as wrapped up in the upset of the outside world as everyone else does, and I feel that life is insurmountable, and that nothing can change from how I’m seeing it at that moment in time. It takes a change in my thinking, my perception, the union of me now, not me from the past focusing on what was and how I didn’t enjoy the experience. It will take the union of me changing my mind about what I observe to make the change. I can’t hold onto the past hurts, and expect a positive change in result of my now or my future. All I can do, is redefine my past, and lose the loveless energy. That will be enough to keep me busy for quite some time.

That’s why I write. I write to cheer myself up. I write to amuse myself. I write to clear out the cobwebs of my past I have in my head, and try to accept where I am now. I write to move myself forward in a peaceful and loving existence. I write to feel better, period. Doesn’t always work. Sometimes I find that being a loving person isn’t the easiest choice, especially when you’re living in your head in past hurts. So, all of this experimentation i do with my own energy is a process that I’m willing to share with whom ever, whatever the consensus may be. My love for me and the love I have for all people is growing, and with it so is my recognition of the dissonance that is us as a human race. That is also being highlighted intensely.

I guess my point is, I understand fully that the change can’t come from just one person to affect the whole. Well, essentially it could, but it’s unlikely due to our vast majority of differences. But, if I change and affect the people in my life positively, that chain reaction could be like a pandemic of love, instead of disease. We can all affect one another, and be infected, by the love virus. Let’s choose to laugh together more often, let’s be together in love as we feel comfortable doing so, let’s stop all the things that aren’t loving to ourselves and others. Let’s decide both individually and together. Let’s choose to “be the change we want to see in the world.” (mahatma gandhi.) And let’s “be the ones to make it different.” (Me, Kari Keillor)

(Please sub the energy of pandemic and fear for the energy of love traveling the world and affecting it positively.)

“so it goes.” -Kurt Vonnegut.

[big1ron]

The Venator “Resolute” had jumped right into a separatist trap. Somehow a virus infecting the main computer has scrambled the hyperspace jump coordinates, and now the companies on board were outnumbered and without reinforcements, deep in separatist space. A few last, desperate SOSs to nobody, and the ship was quickly overwhelmed with fire. The Resolute was going down. But not before each of the escape pods could be jettisoned.

————- Chapter Six: Rescue. -————

- as always sorry for the wait and length. But here you go! May receive small edits later. -

There were a few moons in the system to check over, and they couldn’t waste much time. This was separatist controlled space and they had already shot down one Venator. Plo Koon didn’t want his fleet to be next. Still, he opted to be deployed with the rest of his Wolfpack. Leaving the fleet to Admiral Coburn. Now that he was closer to the system, he could feel Anakin and Ahsoka in the force. He took a gunship down with Wolffe and his personal squad to the command outlet the message had been sent from, as that was where they were most likely to find them.

Echo pulled up beside Jesse, now free of Kix as Kix got too fed up with the constant tripping and was now walking by himself. Jesse was still carrying Dogma, who was resting his head on Jesse’s, eyes closed.

“did he actually fall asleep?” Echo poked him in his injured side and he jolted awake with a hiss of pain.

“Well he’s not sleeping anymore” comments Jesse as echo flinches in sympathy, clearly not having intending for that poke to hurt badly.

“You karking bantha fur osik rag shabuir better kriffing have one hell of a karking good reason for doing that.” Dogma cursed angrily. Kix stifled a chuckle.

“No I just wanted to see if you were awake.”

“Jesse, if you would be so kind.” Jesse took a step closer to Echo and Dogma smacked him upside the head.

“Hey no, that’s not fair! You two teamed up on me you’re not meant to do that!” Echo complained, rubbing his head

“You did deserve that” says coric.

“You too?! You’re supposed to be the neutral party you shabuir!”

Tup continues his trek forward, now using his weapon as a walking stick, when he hears a clones voice. He can’t make out what they said but he stops and looks around.

He hears shouting and chatter but when he determines the direction they’re coming from and heads towards it, he doesn’t see anything.

Great. More hallucinations. He thinks. Maybe from the dehydration this time. He ignores it when he hears a more clear

“Hey! Trooper! Over here!”

He starts walking again, in the same direction, but he hears running footsteps behind him. He turns around and points his stick at whatever it is.

“Who is this!? Are you even real or am I just actually going crazy now?”

He’s face to face with a Wolfpack clone. But he doesn’t lower his weapon until he gets his response.

“Woah, vod calm down. This is the 104th, here to retrieve you. I’m sparker. Come with me, let’s get you back to the transports ok?” He had the signature warmth of the 104th’s relief devision but tup couldn’t quite believe it. Still, he cast his stick aside and followed Sparker back to his squad.

He gained a few strange looks from the rest of the squad as he still looked quite wild. A wave of self consciousness washed over him.

They located a couple other 501st members as well before returning to the gunship, marked with the signature “plo’s bros”. There he was looked over by a medic, and told to sit tight for the trip back to the venators in orbit.

Plo Koon’s gunship landed at the outpost that had relayed the message. Three troopers were waiting outside the command post at attention as the general stepped out. Wolffe was right on his tail

“At ease, troopers. You must be Rex, Fives and Hardcase correct? We received your transmission. It was quite... entertaining. Trooper Fives, do you mind sharing what discussion topic had you so passionate? You have permission to speak freely.”

Fives could feel Rex’s glare burning holes into the sides of his head. They had actually heard that? That was embarrassing. “It was uh... wether or not how many lightsaber blades an individual had related to how much of a bitch they were... sir. Among other things.”

Rex shook his head disappointed and embarrassed, hardcase was struggling to contain his laughter, and one of the Wolfpack members passed some credits to one of the pilots. Wolffe was definitely grinning Impishly at Rex. Definitely. Plo Koon only shook his head amusedly. “Well captain, do you happen to know where your two lightsaber wielding individuals are?”

“Oh yes sir. They should be back soon. They got bored and so made a small speeder bike track. They’ve been racing eachother.”

“Then we had better get the gunship out of the way. Wouldn’t want to skew the results.”

No doubt the Wolfpack was already placing bets. They were notorious for it.

As the men took their places along the main road, eagerly awaiting the results, Rex finally asked Wolffe the question that was burning in his mind. “Have you heard from the other squads yet? Did you find anyone else?”

“Sorry Rex, haven’t had any contact with them since they were deployed. But it’s still early. Just you wait and I’m sure at least a few will turn up. Don’t worry”

Waiting, Rex could do. Not worrying? Not so much.

Cheers erupted from the small group as the motors of the speeders came into earshot. Anakin jetted last the crowd and with a quick 90° turn he drifted to a stop. Ahsoka wasn’t far behind, but Rex had no doubt in his mind that anakin had lapped her. Ahsoka might be a daredevil but Anakin was a true speed demon. Always had been. The Two of them dismounted and met with Plo Koon as the Wolfpack paid their bets.

“Ahsoka, Skywalker. It’s good to see you two.” Plo Koon greats them.

“And it’s great to see you Master Plo” Ahsoka responds.

“Now, I assume you two have had enough of this planet?”

“Definitely” they both respond at once.

Jesse and echos squad overhear a series of howls in the distance. Multiple groups communicating to each other. Jesse signals for them to ‘stop’ and be ‘silent.’ Coric disobeys.

“No. No! Howl back!” Coric howls as loud as he can, to Jesse’s horror.

“What are you doing!? You’re going to lead those animals right to us!”

“Those aren’t animals! It’s the Wolfpack!” Coric howls again.

“It’s official. He’s lost it. Good job everyone, we actually drove him crazy.” Says echo.

Coric gets a response and howls once more, before the air is quite again. “I’m not crazy. But rescue is coming now”

“You can’t possibly know that. The howling thing is fake, we all know that.” Jesse isn’t having it.

But in just a few minutes two Wolfpack members, sinker and boost make contact with the group.

“Hey! 501st! Coric! Come over here! Man you all look terrible!”

“Yeah Thanks boost. Truth is we all feel mildly terrible too. Here to get us off planet I hope?” Coric walks over to the two, and the rest of the group follows. Jesse and echo are completely stunned.

“Yep! We were just about to leave. You were going to be left behind you know. You all got lucky. Which one of you was howling by the way?” Asks sinker, as they lead the group in the direction of the transports.

“That would be me.” Says coric.

“Ah, figured. Pretty impressive, but not as impressive as this.” Sinker takes a deep breath and howls so loud it makes the rest of the groups ears hurt. Kix winces. Boost laughs.

Rex darts around the hangar. This is the last batch of gunships and he’s still missing so many clones. He feels terrible. Especially about Kix and Echo. He can’t stand the thought of leaving any clones behind, but he knows they won’t all come back. He spots Tup getting out of one of the gunships and rushes to him

“Tup! You’re alive! I was worried when Hardcase and Fives told me that had lost you. Are you doing alright?”

“I’m gonna kill those karking nerf herders. They left me! I fell down a cliff and I don’t think they even noticed I was gone!”

“They looked for you. But fives thought you were dead. With good reason. How did you even survive that fall?”

“I didn’t jump, I slid. I rolled the entire way down.”

“Alright kid. I’m glad to have you back. You’ll have to give Hardcase and Fives a stern talking to about that.” Rex patted Tup on the shoulder before moving onto the next gunship.

His eyes fell on the group leaving this one. The group was larger than the rest, sitting at 5. Dogma, Jesse, Coric-

“Echo, Kix!”

Rex ran over and hugged the two tightly.

“Huh. Guess I am your favourite after all.”

Rex smacked Echo in the back of the head. “You’re not my favourite. I don’t have favourites. But I’m sorry for leaving you two. I had to lure a group of droids away, and I got lost.”

“That’s fine. We survived. Mostly.” Says Echo

“Thanks to Coric. Echo would have killed me if it weren’t for him”

Rex gives echo an unimpressed look, but he can’t stay mad as he’s still to relieved at seeing them both alive.

Tup storms over to where Hardcase and Fives are discussing something with Sinker and Boost.

“You two LEFT me! I was all alone! Cause you two wouldn’t too arguing long enough to notice I FELL OFF A CLIFF!”

“TUP!” Fives immediately scooped up his little brother in a bone crushing hug. “I’m so sorry! I won’t do it again! I’m not gonna leave you anywhere again and I’ll stop picking fights with Hardcase I promiseeee”

“No you won’t.”

“Ok maybe I won’t but still I love you and I’m sorry. Hardcase, you can come in too.” Fives knew he wanted too, but sometimes Hardcase needed an invitation. He joined the hug wrapping his arms around the both of them but not too tightly.

Rex watched as the troopers found their brothers, and each made note of who was there. He waited for more gunships, there was still a significant portion of the 501st missing. But the last wave had arrived, and Rex tried not to think too hard about the ones he would have to leave behind, as he saw the stars turn into smears and the planet disappear out the viewport.

Wolffe put his hand on Rex’s shoulder. How long had he been standing next to him?

“You know... we did the best we could. I’m sorry Rex.”

“I know... I know.”

“Why don’t you go join the others? Some of them have some pretty interesting stories to tell. I’m sure you do too.”

“I will, thanks.”

Wolffe knew the thanks was for more than the offer. He watched Rex go join the others, laughing and enjoying the company of those who were still there.

[fizzingwizard]

Alright alright alright digimon adventure: episode 21, go!!! Last week I was interested to see if the pretty vague ep 21 preview was gonna be a mostly dull fight type filler ep or if the reason for the vagueness was there was too much plotty stuff going on for them to reveal. It’s the latter, I’m happy to say!

It was really cool!! There was a lot of good stuff so YAY! Anything I write here will be a spoiler but let’s just say that T is a very important letter in the alphabet! multiple Ts, in fact!!

Cap of the day: my boy being AWESOME

Let’s get to it! under the cut as usual

Now last week’s episode was A LOT. We rescued Takeru who no one even knew needed rescuing, gained and then immediately lost the Holy Digimon, got him back in the form of a digi-egg, and then immediately lost THAT too. Honestly I get why it’s Chosen Children and not Chosen Adults - adults would be like “are you KIDDING me all this work with NO PAYOFF I am gonna SUE”

Patamon’s digi-egg has been abducted by this guy... Skullnightmon? It seems he was a Xros Wars character. I had to look him up because at first I tried “Scarlnightmon” because Idk I was thinking Scarlet Night??? like night of blood and death??? idk. and Google tried to autocorrect it to “Scranton.” Uh... yeah. Skullnightmon makes more sense because of the BIG ASS SKULL on his breasplate. -.-;

It occurs to me how little I know about any Digimon series other than Adventure X’D I mean, I’m not gonna do anything to change that, but.... yeah I’m gonna continue to mix up stuff like this. His loyal steed is Darkmaildramon.

Yamato, of course, is immediately like Protective Mode On.

So at first I was a bit worried that this ep was gonna just Move Things Along as usual and Yamato wasn’t going to react to his little bro randomly being in the digital world. Let alone in the clutches of pure evil up until just recently. When you’re caught up in battle it’s admittedly hard to find time to Talk about stuff but COME ON

Fortunately, thought we don’t get a lot of Talking, we do get a bit. Like this cute moment where Takeru tries to explain what happened and Yamato’s just like “We can talk later” and gives him this adorable head pat. Ok, fine. I can live with that. It’s better than nothing xP

They arrive at the creepy castle which Taichi recognizes as the place Ogremon directed them to. It looks very evil and in front of it is a giant equally evil moat.

They also find this sinkhole sort of thing which Takeru promptly rushes over to stand at the very edge.

Yamato: OMG kid I look away for ONE SECOND

le gasp! Takeru finds a shiny feather at the edge of the hole! It’s a sign of the holy digimon! We should go investigate!

Oops first we have to find this gross Garurumon knock off... Its name is Splashmon but I think it should be “MeltedCrayonGarurumon”

Splashmon is apparently also from Xros wars and can turn into liquid and take on the form of other Digimon... I don’t know if he’s always this shit at it though. Maybe being controlled by evil is the reason for all the meltyness because he looks pretty cool in his wikia:

rofl...

Splashmon showers them all with acid rain and Yamato protec baby bro :< *wibble*

He then carries him to safety like this. xP

Yamato: Takeru, hide!

Takeru: This bottomless pit that reeks of evil seems like an ideal hiding spot. Niichan will be so proud

No but seriously... looks like we don’t get cowardly, crybaby Takeru this season. The kids getting to y’know Be Human about stuff is a thing it looks like I’m going to continue to miss in this reboot. But on the other hand, I genuinely DO enjoy Takeru throwing his all into saving Angemon.

Skullnightmon sticks Angemon’s digi-egg here where it gets chained down by evil vines. Very evil. Also seems like overkill, I mean, it’s an egg, what’s it going to do, roll off the platform?

We then switch gears and rejoin the kids in the real world, where Koushirou has, apparently overnight, if not in the last five minutes, created an update for their digivices which enables them to always be in contact with their partner. I don’t really get the details but that appears to be the size of it. We also catch up with Mimi and Jou.

At first I thought this was a school, but no, IT’S MIMI’S HOUSE. She has a PERSONAL CHAUFFEUR. Like, 99 Adventure Mimi was well-off, that was especially clear in 02... but... WOWZA.

Mimi’s parents look as stupid as ever xD I love them. They’re joined by her grandpa. After having been gone for three days with no explanation, Mimi’s parents are just like “Don’t you want to take it easy at home today?” when she says she needs to go out. Mimi’s just like “I gotta do what I gotta do!” (ok she actually quotes her grandpa from back in her intro ep but) and leaves like nothing happened.

.... I think grandpa might be dead. He doesn’t move the whole scene. Doesn’t even change his expression. I guess his mouth is a bit more open but that could just be because rigor mortis hasn’t quite set in

Meanwhile in Jou’s (normal, average) apartment, we meet SHIN-NIISAN!!! He’s as much of a dick as ever. I love him. Jou’s parents were mad because 1) he was gone for three days, 2) he skipped cram school, 3) he lost his textbook. I think Shin’s basically like HECK yeah finally my little bro shows his cool side! So he decides to be an enabler. GOOD, seems like Jou needs someone to be on his side at home ;_;

Their Digimon partners are traveling in the interwebz like... this... -____-;

They end up tracking Calmaramon, who is indeed Calmaramon.

I remember from Frontier when Renamon evolved to Calmaramon everyone gave her SO MUCH GRIEF for not being sexy. Wasn’t there like this whole episode devoted to how beautiful Izumi’s evolutions were and then Calmara the Squid Woman shows up and everyone’s like “ewww gross yuck!!” And ok I know she’s evil here too. But guys I JUST THINK SQUID WOMAN IS WICKED AWESOME OKAY. Like that is a LOOK. Versace take notes.

Like can we get some body positivity??? There is NOTHING wrong with being half-squid. Zephyrmon is not better just because she wears lingerie! Bet she can beat everyone at the swim meet. Also tastes yummy fried or raw with soy sauce.

ok I’m done. I’m serious about loving Calmaramon though. I have so many Frontier issues I totally forgot about >_>;

*cough* so yeah Calmaramon and those little green Digimon virus things take control of some boat and Koushirou’s like Uh-Oh Danger Will Robinson. Piyomon tries to attack with Magical Fire and is surprised, for some reason, when it does not do much. They are very much outnumbered and Calmaramon is clearly a much higher level than them so WHY do they think child-level is gonna be enough??

So this is cool!! Koushirou appears to be learning to read digi-code! He sounds out Calmaramon’s name by himself. We still pretty much have the question of why Taichi could just read digi-code fluently (well, almost? he randomly couldn’t read everything at the fortress if memory serves) and Koushirou has to sound it out... will we get an answer to this or?? Like if it were Takeru or Hikari I’d just assume it’s their Magic Baby powers at work but it was never made clear if just Taichi can read like this or they all can, and now it seems like maybe they all can’t since Koushirou’s trying so hard here...

Meanwhile Takeru...

99 Yamato would never have taken his eyes off Takeru for so long lmao

though it makes more sense if this season’s Takeru is more independent which he seems to be

Splashmon turns out to be really tough to beat, because he’s lost his mind and therefore holds nothing back xP He crushes MetalGreymon and WereGarurumon to the ground, infecting them with miasma.

At this point I was disappointed that Taichi and Yamato were still so clear-headed... like when are you gonna worry about your partner dude?? He gets the Crest of Courage because he’s never felt fear in his life??????

But then, their next move fails and WereGarurumon de-evolves back to Gabumon, while MetalGreymon is still in Splashmon’s clutches. He proceeds to pretty much make MetalGreymon’s arm wither away...

And Taichi FINALLY looks worried. ABOUT TIME.

Takeru has made it to the bottom of the hole, where he is startled to find this giant eye. I would also fall right on my bottom if I suddenly came across a giant eye.

Giant eye seems interested in Takeru’s digivice, so Takeru politely lets him have a look. BLINGGGGGGG.

Giant Eye: Ow ow ow turn it down!!!

Takeru: Sorry it’s LED!!

Taichi runs to rescue MetalGreymon in the... most ineffectual way possible... I love him...

The miasma can even hurt humans, it appears. Even though he’s in pain, Taichi doesn’t give up, and we get to hear Yamato shriek “Taichi!” all scared and adorable-like.

Taichi passionately reminds MetalGreymon about what they’re fighting for and succeeds in motivating him to be less dead.

Taichi: GIMME A V DOT THE I CURLY C T O R Y VICTORY!! *CLAP CLAP* VICTORY!! *CLAP CLAP*

Yamato: Incredible... so this is the power of a Pep Talk...

Taichi’s Pep causes MetalGreymon’s arm to... fall off... but it’s ok because it sprouts a long wiggly band of light uhhhhhh which then turns into a Giant Gun. So all is well. because MetalGreymon didn’t already have enough guns

MetalGreymon succeeds in defeating Splashmon and we seem some purple crystal sort of thing disappear, my guess is that’s what was controlling him. Agumon falls from midair and Taichi catches him like this.

They cute. They also need a break. Well, Agumon needs a break, I honestly think Taichi doesn’t even have an Off button...

Just when you think things can’t get weirder... Giant Eye appears.

Takeru’s on top of him looking all cool! Till he immediately falls!

Yamato catches him somewhat more adroitly than Taichi caught Agumon xP

The eye belongs to ElDradimon!! I love “animals with worlds on their backs” so this is totally up my ally. My first guess about the eye was that it was gonna be one of the digital sovereigns but this is still pretty cool.

Sooooooo cooooooooool

Yamato doesn’t even lecture Takeru about going off on his own and not hiding like he was told. SO DIFFERENT CANNOT COMPUTE. But looks how happy Takeru is to be praised by his bro for helping ElDradimon. Awww.

I’ve got to now reevaluate how I think things will go down because I really expected Takeru to be something that drives a wedge between Yamato and Taichi. In the old days, Yamato was super protective but Taichi would let Takeru do whatever and Takeru got a little boy crush on him which fed into Yamato’s inferiority complex. But if Yamato’s not overprotective and Takeru is already capable on his own... New directions are good though. I won’t be sorry if they don’t rehash all that BUT I need it to be replaced with something else. Taichi can’t just always be serious, Yamato can’t just always be cool... I like the reboot but I am still on edge about the character stuff.

... Yeah so ElDradimon was mega cool and then... he opened up his VACANT head... bahahaha.... bahahahahahahahahahahaha

So what I really liked about this ep was what I saw as parallels drawn between Taichi and Takeru on the theme of “Do anything to help your partner.” Takeru can’t stop looking for Angemon’s egg, that’s why he goes into the hole after finding the feather. He might not know what’s doing but he’s still gonna do it. Taichi knows a bit more and he’s usually so calculating and strategic, but when MetalGreymon looked on the verge of defeat he threw caution to the wind and tried to save him himself. Okay, not the first time we’ve seen this, true, but it did seem to be the running theme of the episode.

I know I didn’t really talk about how apparently the kids can now update their partners with new powers/gadgets?? by believing in them enough... but y’know that just sounds like the sort of thing a kid’s show would do. I almost miss the card game from Tamers... it would be cool to see the kids have to think and strategically choose what they want to equip their partners with. That was part of the enticement of Tamers, where Adventure was more inexplicable magic, Tamers relied more on intent. Taichi is such a strategist (and of course there’s also freaking Koushirou) that it seems a waste to not involve the kids in the decision making more.

Next week’s ep preivew was a bit hard to follow but 1) the animation looks better than this week thank heaven and 2) it looks like fun. And we get more bamf Takeru! Woot. Can I still say woot in 2020? I can because of senior citizen privilege right?

[another-sonic-blog]

a possible prompt for you: "I cannot offer you sanctuary; but if you would ever ask it of me, I would find a way to build it."

Sanctuary

ShadAmy (You didn’t ask for a specific ship, so I thought you want ShadAmy lol)

.

There was something about her that intrigued him. It was her small acts, her personality and that strange side of her that he couldn’t quite decipher.

They didn’t talk, he doesn’t remember the last time they shared words. It was probably six months when everyone believed that Sonic was dead.

.

“I’ll start my mission now.”

Shadow had gotten his mission report and as soon he finished it reading, he was ready to leave the Resistance.

“Shadow, wait-”

Shadow felt something soft get a hold of his hand. He would have pushed her away immediately but the look in her face made him doubt. His attention went to their hands and back again to Amy.

“Please … be careful,” Amy said in such a pleading manner that it made Shadow remember about a certain blond girl. “Come back to me … ok?”

They were in silence for a few seconds in which they only looked at each other’s eyes. Emeralds were lost in rubies and vice versa.  

Shadow moved his hand away in an abrupt manner and turned his body to walk away.

He reached the door to exit the room but he stopped himself. He didn’t look at her, but he said something to her loud and clear.

“I will come back,” Shadow said. “ … I promise.”

.

He kept coming back to her. In different ways, on different days, in different presence.

After the war with Eggman was done, he passed by the Resistance once in a while just to make sure Amy was fine. Of course, he made sure she didn’t know he was there. He didn’t know why, but Shadow just didn’t want Amy to know he was there.

Shadow could recall different situations where Amy needed help and he gave it to her.

She couldn’t find a file? Shadow will stay up the whole night to find it and placed it in front of her room.

She felt sad because there weren’t flowers around? He planted a small garden a few meters away from the Resistance.

Was she angry at Sonic for leaving without giving her a previous notice? Shadow would find him and start a fight with him only so he could hit him for Amy.

Even with all of that, that didn’t feel enough.

He didn’t know what it was.

But he was completely invested in her.

“Shadow!”

     "Walk away, Shadow"

“Shadow!”

      “WALK. AWAY.”

“Shadow, please!”

       "Dammit.“

Shadow’s job was done. He had defeated Metal Sonic along Sonic and Knuckles and he didn’t want to stay any longer than he needed to. He wasn’t one to celebrate the victories but when it came to Amy …

"What do you want?” Shadow turned around facing the pink one. They were away from the crowd which was good for him.

“Where are you going?” Amy asked in her cheerful self. Shadow looks to the side, he just couldn’t look at her face. He was just acted differently whenever he was with her.

“I don’t know, I’ll find out in the way.”

“Then follow me!”

Amy once again did the thing. She held his hand but he didn’t mind. He will never admit it, but he enjoyed the gesture.

.

They were in Angel Island but after going down and reaching the ground, Amy still took him to a place he didn’t know. They walked through the woods and after a few minutes they reached a place where the sun touched the ground.  

Shadow noticed a small wooden cabin, the sunlight illuminated it. Flowers surrounded the cabin and a little farther from it, pine trees surrounded the area.

“Do you like it?” Amy asked as she looks to Shadow.

“Does it matter?” Shadow responded

“Of course it does! It’s your birthday gift!”

“What?”

“I know that you usually don’t have a place to stay, so I thought that building you a small place to stay would be a good birthday present,” Amy said. “Everyone in the Resistance helped-”

Amy stopped talking as he realized that Shadow’s expression had changed.

Shadow didn’t know what it was. Maybe her nice gesture or the fact that they were still holding hands. However, Shadow felt different. Like something inside of him had exploded like he had sparkles inside his stomach as if his heart was beating faster than usual.

But it was more than that … it was all of those feelings and more.

“Shadow, are you … alright?” Amy asked. Seeing that he wasn’t responding, she began to panic. “You … You don’t like it? I am sorry, I knew I should have gotten you a bike. It’s just … I thought this was better I wanted you to have a nice place to call home but … I am sorry, I will give you a bike! Yes, that would be better right? You really like them and-”

“Today is not my birthday,” Shadow said. He didn’t know how to respond to her and he told her the truth.

“Of course it is!” Amy said. “Today was the day you put your past behind you. Today was the day you saved the Earth from the Black Arms … Today is the birthday of Shadow the Hedgehog!”

.

He just couldn’t stay away from her. Before he was intrigued, but now he was completely fascinated.

There was more to Amy than just being Sonic’s fangirl. She was smart, strong, independent and pretty although he will never say that out loud.

They were peaceful times although Shadow senses weren’t still 100 percent sure. His instincts were telling him that there was something wrong. Nonetheless, he sometimes liked to slow down a bit. To enjoy the times Amy would visit him in his new home.

He trusted her and it got to the point in which he gave her a key to his home.

Sometimes the scene was too perfect.

Shadow would get home after a mission and when he opened the door a sweet smell met his nostrils. It was the delicious smell of Amy’s cooking and her sweet scent.

She never liked her own voice but to him, her ‘Welcome Home’ was a delight.

She didn’t do it often due to her tight schedule but whenever she did, he greatly appreciated it.

He expected this day to be one of the days Amy visits him.

 The peaceful days in which he doubted himself, Shadow usually didn’t need anyone. But having Amy there was a friendly reminder that he made the right decision.

Sonic convinced Shadow of letting Eggman staying alive and Shadow decided of letting Eggman live a peaceful life in Windmill Village.

Because if Shadow could have a peaceful life just like right now, then Eggman could too.

He arrived home, excited to share today with the pink one … but she wasn’t there.

.

Days passed and still, no sight of Amy. He tried hard not to care and he tried to convince himself that he didn’t need her. That they weren’t that close.

For Chao’s sake, they weren’t even friends.

Not they weren’t, so he shouldn’t care. No, he shouldn’t.

So, how did he find himself here?

He walked through the halls of the Resistance HQ as the other agents passed by him. Whispering between each other, thinking he wasn’t able to hear them.

“What is Shadow the Hedgehog doing here?”

“Maybe he wants to meet with Captain? Something wrong must be going on?”

“Well, something must be really wrong if Shadow the Hedgehog is looking for help from the Resistance.”

Shadow felt relief by those comments. Shadow preferred for the agents to think that he was here for a mission than to think that he was there … just to see the Captain.

He finally reached the Main Room. Amy was up and down the room, looking for files, typing in her computer and communicator through her earpiece. Shadow didn’t think he was going to get this far. What was he supposed to do now? Stop her from doing her work and ask why wasn’t she visited him?

“No, Shadow, you are not even friends! Not even work buddies … She cooked for you sometimes just to be nice, you can’t expect her to do that every day-”

“Shadow?”

Shadow’s thoughts were interrupted as he recognized her voice.

“What are you doing here?”

“SHIT-”

“I am here to get information regarding … Eggman.”

Amy looked at him confused. It has been a while since they last saw each other and talked about the matter. It surprised Amy that Shadow even went to the length of coming to the Resistance for such reason.

“Sorry Shadow, I can’t offer you that information right now. You can talk to Lanolin about whatever information you need,” Amy said. “I am going to head out to a mission soon, so I won’t be able to attend you.”

“You are going to a mission?” Shadow facepalmed himself mentally.

“Of course she is going a mission, genius. She just said it.”

It was a surprise to Shadow that Amy was doing a mission, especially since she was so busy at the moment managing the Resistance.

“Yes, I am. I will be going with Sonic but we will be back soon.” Amy said. “We are going to an abandoned mine-”

Shadow didn’t hear anything else. There was a certain feeling rising within him. He wasn’t sure what it was but it wasn’t nice.

“I don’t need that information,” Shadow said. “I am taking my leave.”

Shadow began to walk away. This was a waste of time, this is what he gets for caring for others. He gets … disappointment.

“Shadow!” Amy once again caught his attention, Shadow stopped walking. “I am sorry … I haven’t been able … visit you.”

.

How could Shadow ever stay away from her when she has only shown him kindness? When she has shown him her vulnerability and strength?

How could Shadow ever stay away from her when Amy has always been … there.

“It’s my fault Shadow … I should have known better. Sonic is infected and I couldn’t do anything.”

Amy had gone to Shadow’s cabin to inform him of the current situation. The Zombot virus, something that could threaten Mobius. He didn’t know if he should be angry at Sonic for letting Eggman on the go or at himself for letting Sonic convince him so easily.

Shadow didn’t know how to react to that. He knew that she was looking at some type of comfort in him but … how?

They were seated at his sofa, Shadow looked around his room and to his lamp. He took a deep breath and with all the courage he said,

“It’s not your fault,” Shadow gave Amy three pats on her back. Exactly three, no more and no less. “There’s nothing you could have done.”

Amy looked at Shadow who’s head was pointing at the ground. Amy knew that he was trying really hard to comfort her and although he only gave her three pats on her back, that was all she needed.

“Thank you … I needed that,” Amy said. “Shadow … thank you, for everything.”

“I haven’t done anything,” Shadow replied.

“That’s what you think … but I appreciate every single thing you do.”

Amy smiled at Shadow. She knew everything. Amy was aware of Shadow staying up late at night to find a file she needed. Of Shadow’s secret flower garden that he made for her because she was sad there weren’t any flowers at the Resistance.

Amy knew that Shadow will fight Sonic only because he made her angry.

She will never tell Shadow that she knows. Amy didn’t want to embarrassed Shadow and most importantly she didn’t want him to stop.

“You are strange,” Shadow said seeing that no one was saying a word. “But I guess that’s good.”

“Well, thanks for the compliment.” Amy looked to the side, pretending to be hurt. She clearly wasn’t, she was only acting this way to tease Shadow and she thought she had made it obvious.

On the other side, Shadow was panicking. He didn’t mean to be mean to her nor hurt her feelings. He had to fix things quickly.

“What I am trying to say is … that I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life,” Shadow said. “But meeting you … I don’t think that was a mistake.”

When those words left his mouth, Amy turned to look at him. She was extremely touched by this. Shadow, was really trying to open up to her, to explain his feelings. Amy was just really touched and happy at the moment.

“Shadow …” Amy looked at him. She was speechless, a few tears wanted to escape her eyes and Shadow noticed this.

“Shit. She’s crying! What did I say wrong?”

“What I am trying to say is that I cannot offer you sanctuary,” Shadow said. He instinctively grabbed her hands in a pleading manner. “But if you would ever ask it of me, I would find a way to build it.”

He was like a lost child looking for forgiveness. Amy had never seen Shadow display such vulnerability. At first, Amy didn’t know what was what intrigued her so much about Shadow. Maybe his hidden kindness or his strong sense of justice that she admired. Either or … Amy was happy that her nonexistence bond with Shadow had grown into a friendship.

“Shadow, I will never ask you to build me a sanctuary …” Amy softly caressed Shadow’s hands. “Because I already have one … you are my sanctuary.”

.

“Alright, so Team Dark needs to go help out Sonic at Sunset City? Rouge asked. Omega, Shadow and her were at the Resistance’s Main Room along with Amy.

"Yes, there are civilians there who need to be evacuated,” Amy said. “I am counting on you three, you are the best team that we have.”

“Rouge and Omega will go first,” Shadow commented. “I will arrive as soon as I can with my truck and help the civilians evacuate.”

“Very good! Also, yes you three are the best team that we have but you can be reckless as well.” Amy said. “Your mission is to only help the evacuation, do not interact with the Zombots.”

“We have everything under control,” Omega said, trying to calm down Amy.

“I know but still … ” Amy said. “Just be careful please.”

“Yes, Captain!”

Rouge and Omega were the first to leave the room, leaving Shadow and Amy alone. They shared a knowing look. It was starting to become more common between them. To know what the other was thinking without speaking a word.

Shadow turned to his body and began to walk away.

“Shadow, wait-”

Shadow knew this was coming. It was an unspoken ritual between them. He turned to look at her, she smiled.

“Don’t do anything stupid,” Amy said. “And come back to me … ok?”

Shadow smirked at her. A few seconds passed were they only stared at each other’s eyes. Their strong friendship was unknown to others but that didn’t matter to them. They were each other’s secret sanctuary and they didn’t want it any other way.

“I will come back to you …” Shadow said. “I promise.”

.

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A/n: First of all, I want to say that I really enjoy your art! It’s amazing. Second, thank you so much for the nice prompt! I hope this is somewhat what you wanted.  

Thank you for reading!

I will keep working on the next prompts!

[cinnamonrollorder]

Whoops

I DID IT AFTER 9000 YEARS. This is prompt 3 of the set that the lovely @annikatti gifted the world with.

 Everyone knew Sonic was tired. It wasn’t a secret, no matter how much the Blue Blur tried to hide it. There was eventually no hiding the super-sized bags under his eyes, or how hard it was to catch his breath after a long run. He usually stood tall and proud, with his signature smile upon his face, so it was hard to not notice how much he slumped, or his smiles were strained. And yet, matter how bad it seemed to get, Sonic never stopped.

Anyone he’d pass by would at least get a greeting, or a half-hearted smile. He was trying so hard to bolster everyone’s spirits, even if the metallic patches of fur that always lingered on his skin nowadays dulled the effect. Sonic would often stop by Cream and Whisper, trying to see if they needed anything. When it was late at night, he’d go around making sure everyone was asleep. Amy eventually just let Sonic do all the night jobs, at the promise that he’d wake someone up if he was going on a run. Sonic never did, but somehow always turned up fine.

Espio should know, since he had been watching the hedgehog. It had been Amy’s request.

“He can’t run off the infection for long. I just worry about him, and I don’t have time to check up on Sonic.”

“You want me to watch him, correct? I can do that.”

“Thank you, Espio.” Amy had looked so tired in that moment; so tired, in fact, Espio had no choice but to set aside his grudge against the blue hedgehog and agree. He was quite aware that Sonic had no way of knowing that letting Eggman go would cause all this, but it didn’t change the fact that Sonic had caused all of this. If Sonic had destroyed Metal, and let Eggman be put away in a monitored location, then no one would be in this mess.

Vector and Charmy wouldn’t be in this mess.

The chameleon shook his head, dispersing those thoughts. There wasn’t any point in dwelling on the “what ifs”. What was happening now was too important.

The “now” was evacuating a sizeable little town that had just gotten hit by the virus. The problem with this town is that it had been adequately defended up until now; there were walls all around the town, along with multiple choke points made with buildings, and freshly dug draining holes that were supposed to limit the spread of the liquid virus. They couldn’t tell how well it worked, since they had to land outside the walls. Eggman and Starline had already flown off, seemingly content on leaving their group to suffer, and probably not wanting to risk getting infected themselves.

Sonic was there, this time, he, Silver, and Tails were supposed to climb over the wall and find a spot for the others to get in. Sonic and Silver would clear the spot out as Tails would go back to report it. On the surface, it was a sound plan. Sonic and Silver were the only ones who could safely hold off zombots, and Tails could easily fly to escape any dangers.

The problem was that Espio had been watching Sonic, so he know exactly what the hedgehog had been doing the last two days.

He’d watched as Sonic stayed up the past two nights doing all the night jobs, having convinced everyone that he was fine and they needed the sleep. Espio himself had to sleep both those nights, since he’d be found out if he just ominously was in dark, shadowy places watching Sonic. Not to mention, Sonic kept periodically checking everyone to make sure they were resting.

So, technically, he hadn’t seen Sonic stay up, but considering the hedgehog’s virus always stayed relatively contained those nights, it was clear Sonic hadn’t let himself rest. Or eat. Eating was another problem entirely.

Espio hadn’t noticed until it became his job to notice, but Sonic didn’t eat. He already had permission to eat at a different time than everyone else (Amy and Tails agreed that it’d be easier to keep Sonic away from the small crowd that always gathered when food was handed out), so it was easy to miss. Sonic just seemed to rarely stop by to get food. Espio remembered one night, where Sonic had stumbled into the storage room, grabbed a hidden half of a ration, and ate it. He realized what Sonic was doing at that point.

Sonic was trying to conserve food. He’d stop by every once in a while, and eat half of what he should. He’d leave the next half for whenever he came by again. That left more food for everyone else.

The problem with that was Sonic’s metabolism was as fast as the blue blur himself was, and that half of a ration was certainly not doing anything but barely keeping him alive. Oh, and the fact that Sonic ran enough miles every day to short-circuit a fitbit.

However, addressing this would reveal Espio had been watching Sonic, and then that would lead to asking why Espio had to watch Sonic, and then that would lead to Sonic being told he was slowly losing his immunity. Which, all things considered, wasn’t the best idea. Despite the fact the hedgehog was the easiest one to blame for everything, he was their one bit of hope. Even if it was running out, Sonic had an immunity to the virus. He was trying to bolster spirits and help as best he could.

Espio couldn’t afford to dim Sonic’s spirit, even just a little.

So, he pulled aside Silver and told him to keep an eye on Sonic.

“Got it! You can count on me!” He said, with a little smile. Espio left it at that, glad Silver didn’t ask why.  He was a good kid, but Espio wasn’t sure he was the best at secret-keeping. He’d done what he could, at least.

----

Silver may not always have the best judgement, but he wasn’t an idiot. He know what Espio wanted, and he knew why. He’d have to be stupid not to. Silver wasn’t around the pink hedgehog that often, but he’d noticed last time he was that she kept glancing at Sonic, who’d been on top of a shelf in the corner, watching everyone. He noticed her concern.

Besides, he was worried, too.

He could see it in the way the hedgehog carried himself, and he had a better picture of it by not seeing him every day. One week he didn’t have any bags, the next week he carried the world in them. One day he’s standing up straight, the next time he sees the blue blur he’s hunched over all the time. It was like watching a slideshow progressing towards someone’s death. He hated it.

It was obvious Espio was keeping an eye on Sonic, most likely because of Amy’s orders, and since he couldn’t come with them right now, he’d asked Silver to do it for him. He could do that. He was gonna do it regardless, because Sonic was particularly bad today.

----

Sonic couldn’t remember the definition of self-care. Sleeping, eating, drinking, all of it was foreign. Well, not exactly. He had a bit of stale bread…. A… day ago? He wasn’t sure. He knew he hadn’t slept all week, at least. Maybe it was getting to him.

He felt stiff all morning, and his head was pounding with vigor the rest of him didn’t have. He knew they were nearing a place with people, though, so he did his best to appear awake and alert.  He was pretty sure he did a decent enough job at it. No one stopped him, at least.

When he was finally told what his mission was, he couldn’t shake off a feeling of unease. It wasn’t that he thought it would be difficult, it was just some inherent feeling he couldn’t shake off. Silver was certainly capable of taking care of himself, since no Zombot could even get close to him. Tails was smart, and he could literally fly. Sonic himself didn’t have to fear being touched, he just needed to make sure he wasn’t grabbed and pinned. All things considered, he shouldn’t have felt so worried.

Upon later consideration, Sonic believed what should have happened was a future Sonic would suddenly appear, shake him vigorously, and demand to know why Sonic only had one brain cell.

The mission started off well enough. They scaled the wall, got inside, and Sonic hopped from roof to roof trying to find a nice, safe enough spot for everyone else to come in. He realized that the village’s defenses had actually sort of worked. The holes weren’t big enough and numerous enough to hold everything, but it did keep most of the virus from spreading through everything. The funnels between buildings helped keep the hordes at bay, since they were too stupid to wait to go through one at a time, and just amassed a body pile at the entrances. By now, uninfected townspeople were rushing over to the trio. A male goat with a kid in his arms pointed to a specific spot on the wall and yelled, “over there! There’s a mechanism that’ll open it up!” Sonic gave him a quick salute and darted over. One of the bricks was jetting out more than the others, so he pressed it. He was feeling oddly energetic, so he made sure Tails saw the opening in the wall before running for the zombots that were slowly beginning to get close to innocent civilians.

----

Silver made sure Tails got out before turning in the air and going after Sonic. He had only stopped for a second, but that was enough for Silver to realize that Sonic had been shaking. The blue hedgehog didn’t seem to realize it, of course, but he somehow looked like death had a ton of caffeine. Sonic was making a beeline for a few zombots who were trying to grab any nearby people they could. A few solid kicks from him and they were beaten back, so he moved on. Silver watched this as if it were a ping-pong match, just watching as Sonic seemed to bounce between targets.

It was at this point Silver remembered something very important.

The ground was all grass, and it was infected. It was slowly spreading through the town. At this point, everyone who could be infected was safe at the escape area, minus Silver himself. At least for now. Silver started trying to cover up alleys and breaks between houses with anything nonliving he could find. Sonic was watching him, too, and started clearing out areas specifically for Silver to block. They had to fall back a little, since the virus was still trying to spread, and the zombots were zeroing in on them, but it was OK. They were doing fine.

About half of the town had been lost, but the rest were OK. Silver glanced back a few times to see the progress of evacuation. They were almost done, it seemed. Some people hadn’t left, and they were trying to find them and get them out while they still could. They could hold out a little longer, it was OK.

Then it was suddenly very much not OK.

It was like watching dominoes fall, but instead of a gentle little tap knocking them all down, it was like Shadow had come in on his truck and ran over all the dominoes. One of the barriers failed, releasing a bunch of zombots and the liquid virus. When they went over to fix it, another barrier failed. Then another. And many more barriers.

“We can’t hold them! Get out of here!” Silver yelled as loud as he could. He couldn’t check to see if they’d heard him, because a zombot tried jumping up to grab his foot. He barely managed to fly out of reach. Sonic, who was grounded, wasn’t so lucky. A small beetle child had snuck up behind him and latched onto him. Silver used his psychokinesis to wrench the little kid off and throw her back towards the approaching hoard. Taking one look at Sonic was all Silver needed. His chest was heaving, and he was covered in metallic patches. He was still shaking, but this time he actually looked worn out. “Sonic! Run!”

“No way! I’ll be fine if I keep them off me; I’m not leaving you to hold them all off!” Sonic yelled back, delivering a firm punch to a zombot. Not wanting to waste time arguing, Silver accepted this. He kept a close eye on the hedgehog, keeping the zombots from grabbing the blue blur. Sonic, in turn, made sure no zombot had a chance to go after Silver. Suddenly, Silver heard his communicator beep. I forgot I had this. He quickly tapped it.

“Silver, everyone’s out. We have to shut the gates. Can you and Sonic make it out?” It was Amy. He glanced back to find that, yes, everyone was out, and that the virus had almost spread to the exit through the grass. There wasn’t time to go out that way, but they could use the wall.

 “Yeah, we’ve got this. Shut the gates, and we’ll get out.” He responded. Another beep and the closing of the gate (or sliding panels in the wall to be more specific) was all Silver needed. “Sonic! We’re clear!” He called to his friend. Sonic, without missing a beat, whirled around and started running away from the zombots. He didn’t have much time. Silver flew low enough to keep a good eye on Sonic.

This is the point where the dominoes actually get run over.

Sonic faltered in his steps, and stumbled clean off the roof he was on. Right below him was a river of the virus. Silver grabbed him with his psychokinesis, only to suddenly realize Sonic wasn’t moving. He’d just… completely shut down. Setting him gently down on the roof, Silver quickly tried to look the hedgehog over. He was injured, but not bleeding. So he’d been right. Sonic had passed out. The hedgehog from the future had about one second to take this in before he was brutally reminded of where he was. The zombots had gotten onto the roof, and they were not happy. Psychically grabbing Sonic and himself, Silver jetted up from where he once was. His head hurt. Sonic was twitching, probably due to being manhandled in the air.

Silver tried to get away, he really did. Just as he geared himself up for a dash out of the area, a rock hit him square in the head. Hard. He and Sonic dropped out of the sky like disappointing pizza dough. Sonic almost slid off the roof, but Silver caught him. It was then Silver realized something very very important for the last time.

His head hurt too much to focus now.

He couldn’t carry himself and Sonic out. He’d have to leave either himself or Sonic behind, which was a no-brainer. He scrambled to his feet, ran forward, and psychokinetically chucked Sonic as far as he could like a football, in his haste missing the fact the hedgehog’s eyes were suddenly wide open. The second he let go of his hold on his inert friend, he tried to lift himself away. It didn’t go nearly as well as Sonic Toss had.

Something grabbed his foot before he was a foot off the ground. Silver turned to see that same gremlin beetle child, latched onto his boot. He quickly tapped his communicator as he teetered on the roof ledge, unbalanced. He sent out one last message before he fell and plunged into the ton of metal virus on the ground.

“Sonic got out.”

-----

Everyone had seen something get thrown out of the village. If they were looking, that is. Espio was looking. Espio saw it. And being a detective, it took him one second to see something blue fly out and realize holy heck that’s Sonic’s body. Espio also correctly deduced that something had gone very, very wrong. He started running towards where Sonic had fallen, but stopped when he saw Amy’s face.

It was like someone had just died. Which, considering the situation, was probably what it was.

“Amy, what-“

“Silver didn’t make it.” She said, then threw her communicator to the ground. Espio wished he had the time to say something to that. He did. But, instead, he just started running towards Sonic’s impact zone. Once again, he was stopped by seeing that telltale blue streak of a supersonic hedgehog running away from him. From everyone. He just turned on his heel and went back to the group, clenching his fists.

He did not just sign up another one of his friends to die. He did not set Silver up to die.

That’s what he told himself, at least.

That’s what he told himself when he saw Amy giving out orders through her tears.

That’s what he told himself when Tails kept telling everyone that Silver probably couldn’t use his psychokinesis anymore, but that they still had to go.

That’s what he told himself when right before they took off Sonic came back with a haunted look in his eye.

I’m so sorry, Silver.

[pitiless-achilles-wept]

How to Endure: Cancer in the Time of Pandemic

[Originally posted March 28, 2020]

Hi all, Welcome to a very special birthday post from me in which I mostly think about what it's like to have cancer in the time of a global pandemic. As a way of topping my last year's celebration--where I was just about to start chemo--this year the world is sheltering in place under quarantine orders as an unprecedented public health disaster unfolds around us. (Sorry if my prediliction for dramatic narratives is in any way responsible for this fact...) I've been trying to work up the energy to post and let you know that I'm doing ok in this time of a global emergency...as ok as anyone I guess. I should say right off the bat that I am not, right now, immunocompromised, although I am at risk for it. We can all hope my system keeps bouncing back as it has done to keep me out of the most vulnerable group. (I do also have lung tumors, so a respiratory infection would automatically come with complications.)

Mostly, I spent a lot of the past two weeks wondering not if but how the pandemic was likely to affect my cancer treatment and I finally have enough information to confirm that, as of now, I'm still able to stay on the study and get chemo as planned this coming Thursday (April 2nd). I had been scheduled to get CT scans on Tuesday, March 31st to assess whether the treatment I started at the end of January has worked well enough for me to continue on the clinical trial. Although I get so many that it has perhaps come to seem routine, "scanxiety" is a very real phenomenon because these are how you learn whether things are going well (or well enough) or whether the disease has "progressed" and you have to regroup and try again with a new treatment plan. It had been since October that I had had a positive scan, with November showing a halting of improvement and December and January documenting the reversal of recovery. So obviously I was anxious and wanted them as soon as possible. Hearing reports of "non-essential" treatments being canceled, my Penn oncologist and I decided to try to move my scans up. After many phone calls and the efforts and good will of a number of doctors and hospital staff I was able to get them on the 23rd in Princeton (avoiding both the drive into Philly and the potential for exposure there). I'm glad we did because I learned yesterday that the treatment has been working fine; not great, but well enough that a) some tumors got somewhat smaller, b) no tumors got bigger, and c) no new metastatic sites were observed. Clinically, that's ruled as "stable disease" b/c in order for it to be a "partial response" you have to have your cancer go down by at least 30%. But reversing the trend of growth is still a win, and perhaps more time will see more results. And crucially, I do not have to investigate a new treatment option or try to change in the midst of what is soon to be the crest of the pandemic wave of cases. It's only relatively lucky, but I will take it! I have also seen reports in the cancer community about people having their chemo canceled as non-essential, which was shocking to me. I wrote last year about feeling like cancer should always be a "red ball" case that gets rocketed up the chain for testing, insurance approval, etc. and being shocked that it just wasn't. I understand that in some cases where a cancer patient is immunosuppressed, even attending a treatment at a hospital may pose greater risk than delaying it because the risk of infection is such a threat. But that is an extraordinary statement to make, amidst a daily barrage of extraordinary statements. Not all the stories were that clear-cut, though, so I was glad to hear from my doctor that as a stage 4 patient my scheduled treatments will not be bumped. I cannot have any visitors (and it's a pretty rough thing to do alone), but I can and will get through this. We all will. Because we all have in us more than we know. *** Shortly after my beloved grandma died (suddenly, from complications during surgery) my dad told me that one of the last things she said to him was that she would be ok because, "I'm a warrior." And she was. From a tiny place in the woods of east Texas, as a teenager she ran her family's store during the Great Depression and cared for a mess of brothers. When my daddy was eight years old, she and my grandfather picked up and moved away from a community where they knew everyone and had for generations to Dallas--an unfamiliar big city--because his younger brother had been born deaf and they wanted to send him to a special school. She founded and ran her own school, an income she supplemented with other jobs while my granddaddy was away walking pipeline for an oil company. When I knew her, late in her life, she had lost her sight but continued devouring books on tape and listening to the clues on "Jeopardy!". I was the first and only grandbaby and I was adored (not to say spoiled). The only times she actually saw me, before she was blind, I was just a few months old, chewing clean laundry in the basket in which someone had deposited me. As I grew up, she would feel my face, my hair, my ever-increasing height (and joke each time that "I'm going to have to saw your legs off!"). She would listen to my voice on Sunday phone calls; do crossword puzzles with me, as I read clues while lounging on her velour sofa; offer a "piece of Hershey" or a stick of spearmint gum from the same blue tin on the table in which she kept her cigarettes. She could still piece quilts by feel, even though she couldn't see the fabric, and advised me on the 1ft patchwork square I made for my doll's bed. She was weakened, exhausted, blind, and often in pain (which she tactfully never mentioned with me around). Except when she changed to a polyester pantsuit for visiting the doctor, she wore carpet slippers and housedress with a pack of Marlboros in the pocket that she lit from a gas burner, leaning on her walker by an ancient stove. No one knew quite how old she was when she died--our best guess is eighty-three--because she was also the kind of Southern lady who told no one her real age. She was a warrior in that, despite all that had happened in her life and all that was happening to her body, she kept on going. She endured.

When I search for inspiration to continue with treatments that make me feel worse than the disease, to fight so hard to save a body that's betraying me, to stay in an increasingly terrifying world that's betraying all of us, I think of her last words. I'm a warrior. I will endure. Believe it or not, you are also and you will too. In our struggles to continue with our lives in the face of monumental uncertainty and paralyzing anxiety, our greatest achievement is to keep on going. We fight (each of us different things) so that we may endure. It is not pleasant. It will reduce you to tears. You will exhaust all your emotional resources. But you will triumph. I have been fighting, existing in crisis mode, for 14 months and that is how I know that you can do it. You must grieve (and allow yourself time for it) for what you have lost, including a sense of safety or normalcy. But as you press on, you will find that inner strength or resiliency. I'm sorry that this is being demanded of you. It is not fair. But that will not change it. You may grieve, cry, fight, and struggle but, ultimately, you will accept that your way forward, your treatment, is to endure. I've reflected a lot on social media about how living with stage 4 cancer accidentally prepared me for the experience of the pandemic. I wrote a coda to an essay that will be published--likely this May--about the "Body as Data." Since the coda itself will probably change by then, the situating evolving as rapidly as it is, I thought I would share it here. Thank you for being with me and providing that community that has been the saving grace of treatment. Love, Bex *** As of writing this essay, it’s been 14 months since my diagnosis. I have tried three different treatments, two of which were clinical trials, one of which I am still enrolled in. It is approaching my thirty-sixth birthday [it's actually today - March 29th] and everyone is sheltering in place because of the coronavirus. I have lived more than a year now tolerating the same kind of existential uncertainty and fear of an alien invader in the body that the world as a whole is now experiencing. I have played my own doctor, watching my body for signs that a treatment is working, or that it is not, in much the same way. I have tried to anticipate what will happen if I become immunocompromised (as I currently am not, but am at risk for) and given up many of the pleasures that made my life better before (traveling, going out with friends) in the name of my health. I have offered my body up as data to research scientists with the goal of furthering not just my own treatment but the survival prospects of future patients. I did not know that throughout this year I was in training for a time when we would all of necessity be regarded as bodies with the potential to produce valuable data about the spread and effects of COVID-19. We are starved for numbers, for data on infections and recoveries and for statistical models that may relieve us of the uncertainty we feel about the future. I cannot provide that. But I can tell you to be cautious readers of data and statistics that speak with any pretense to authority right now, even though I crave them too. Cancer is invisible and so are viruses. This particular virus can inhabit the body but produce no symptom and live for days on surfaces. It may be in us. It may be in those we love. We are in the middle of the data. We are the data. Susan Sontag wrote in Illness as Metaphor that “Everyone who is born holds dual citizenship, in the kingdom of the well and in the kingdom of the sick. Although we all prefer to use only the good passport, sooner or later each of us is obliged, at least for a spell, to identify ourselves as citizens of that other place” (3). A pandemic transcends borders but does not do away with the kingdom of the sick. As someone already resident, I can say to you: welcome. The hardest thing about being here is the grief for what we have lost, including a sense of normalcy. The best thing, though, is what we may find: community in a time of crisis.

[sonicfanj]

Hi! I saw your response from a post related to idw! Amy from the last number of the comic. For some reason I don't feel satisfied with the way idw is handling amy and your response got my interest cause you mentioned really good points. I don't know if you want to continue to talk about the topic but if you do I would love to read more about your point of view Thanks for reading

I rant quite a bit about how IDW Amy has been handled as a good deal of it is a betrayal to her character concept which you can hear Kazuyuki Hoshino explain himself here.

https://youtu.be/0nzxRoIX4QU?t=2315

Sorry I can’t embed in an “Answer”, but the general gist of it is, Amy was created as a character who was to be the Minnie Mouse to Sonic’s Mickey Mouse, but as Sonic is not that type of character they needed to mix it up. As was very true of the early franchise where traditions were turned upside down for the time such as Tails being a nerd and athletic enough to keep up with Sonic while Amy was both a girly-girl and a tomboy at the same time, Sonic and Amy’s relationship was inverted from guy chasing after the girl to much less commonly seen girl chases after guy trope. So Amy could actually survive in a role as the love interest of the main character where she had to the chasing of a character always seeking out his next adventure and challenge she needed to have the energy, good cheer, and optimism to never give up chasing him and the willingness to partake in and love his lifestyle.

Early on you would see this in the Japanese manuals so naturally they were missed outside of Japan, but localization and not bringing content out of Japan (no less cases of Amy erasure by SEGA of America with her even having several scenes cut from the western airing of Sonic X removing a lot of her humanizing scenes showing she was a well meaning girl but acts on a foundation based on having the necessary energy to keep chasing Sonic unendingl) still did not stop that foundation from appearing in the games that brought her into the forefront of Sonic stories. The Sonic Adventure games.

Now there is a lot here that could be unpacked, but I’m going to focus on two moments.

1) At the beginning of her story Amy laments her boredom and pines for Sonic to be in her life again so she can enjoy excitement again like she did back when he was around. This out of the gate shows you that Amy detests being bored, yet IDW has her actively announce it at one point while doing Restoration paperwork, and also has Sonic have to practically drag her out on an adventure. 

So not only is she betraying her character by refusing to do what she was created to do, with even her great handling in issue 2 has her actively reject her own character function, but when she is pulled out onto an adventure what is her reward? Well of course the start of the Zombot crisis, in which she gets to see herself maim someone and then see Sonic infected with the same stuff. From there her role in the entire arc is to just be a mouthpiece for how bad the crisis is on a global scale. Yet her character foundation states this should not be the case.

At one point during the Zombat arc we see Cream after losing Cheese and Chocola have to cheer up Amy who can’t herself understand how Cream is able to smile. Yet before this point, Amy’s history has always shown her to be the one who keeps people optimistic, who doesn’t let people get down, who always has the energy and ability to believe in Sonic saving the day in the end and is able to smile because of that. So again, not only is her character down and betraying who she is supposed to be, but a character she should be cheering up is instead cheering her up. Who Amy is and the foundation for her character is completely absent, and again, Amy is sitting still instead of taking action and going out into the world and doing her best in her way. Her adventurous spirit and get out and do something attitude are completely absent.

2) Now, the other line from the Adventure games which shows a problem with Amy just growing lifeless in a dark room is from Adventure 2 where aboard the Arc she complains about how the boys always leave her behind. She’s there because she wants to be and has done everything she can throughout the game to keep up, and started by infiltrating Prison Island and acquiring a key card to Sonic’s cell. She is demonstrated to be proactive and again has a love for adventure and a desire to travel with Sonic. Yet again this is actively ignored in IDW to plug her into a role in the Zombot Arc meant for Sally Acorn during the Archie New 252 run.

Ian Flynn has on record stated that the Metal Virus Arc was originally meant for Archie starting at or a little after issue 300. It was inspired by the “Metal” skins from Sonic Heroes and would have seen the Freedom Fighters tested against the horror of the Arhieverse version of Eggman like never before. At this point though a problem becomes abundantly clear, and that’s that you have a role to fill where Sally Acorn is absent in a more gamecentric setting. How Amy ended up in the roll is in part due to Ian Flynn typically righting characters and only really being able to use Amy, though he has admitted it’s not a role he believes she should have. Yet SEGA OKed it and for the Zombot Arc Amy has had to become Sally Acorn. Instead of being the cheerful girl who chases after Sonic and does her best to keep up with and help Sonic she has become the girl in charge he checks in on. Instead of being out in the field leading through motivation, encouragement, and example, she has become a war room tactician. These roles all fit Sally to a tee and she is a character designed to be able to serve the purposes of those roles and thrive in them. It is what she was made to do after all; lead a desperate group of mismatched people through an impossible situation. That is her core role and part of why she doesn’t work for the games where the narrative is simply where is Sonic now and what is he getting involved in. But for the Zombot Arc she was perfect, yet Archie’s bunglings put an end to that and to force his story into only the second story arc of a new comic before the characters had room to grow and become established with distinct identities in IDW, he took Amy and shoved her into Sally’s skin in what is one of the worst ill fitting results I’ve ever seen. She is at almost no point in the arc given even a single moment that speaks from the foundation of her character as she can’t for the sake of he plot. The plot needed Sally Acorn, but Amy was the only one available to fill the role, and as is typical when Sally is needed, Amy gets mistreated, misused, and winds up getting nothing in the end except more comfortless stress and worries with none of her actual character there to show she can actually smile through it all.

The funny thing is though, Amy’s actual character makes it into the Zombot Arc. It’s one of the best written scenes in the whole arc and occurs at a point when Sonic really needs that traditional Amy spunk to put the spring back in his step. In fact, the way the whole scene is written it is likely had the story been told in Archie it would have been the moment when Amy fell to the Metal Virus. And I would not have been mad in the least. In fact, I would have been eagerly anticipating Sonic’s eventual victory to see her faith rewarded and her sacrifice rewarded. Unfortunately though the scene was handed off to someone else, and I have had a hard time appreciating the character since as a result.

You see, in IDW there is a very energetic character who shares most of Amy’s core traits. Energetic, optimistic, and almost always full of good cheer. Where they differ is in their secondary traits, or more accurately the traits they don’t share with Amy. Being romantic, in love with Sonic, childish, occasionally bratty, and very old-fashioned girly. Those five secondary traits are completely absent from this character, and as a result, anytime they do something Amy would based on the otherwise same foundation they get praised where Amy would have been derided simply for being Amy. But the peak of it is again a moment that felt 100% like it was meant for Amy but as she was assigned to be Sally couldn’t have it. And yet, no one seems to notice, but rather cheers the entire scenario because Sonic needed that hug and physical contact. He needed those words of a faith that is placed solely in him. He needed to see that ability to smile and stay optimistic even when infected, and keep giving their all with boundless energy, good cheer and optimism. He needed Amy Rosy, Rosy the Rascal, the pink hedgehog girl who has followed him as best she can since Sonic CD. But instead, Amy’s very foundation and role was cheered not when carried out by Amy, but instead when carried out by relative new comer with none of the history or even reason to have faith in Sonic like he needed in that scene, Tangle the Lemur. And the scene was cheered even more due to the love that Whisper the Wolf has as her despair at losing the first friend she allowed herself to have since she lost everything just drove it completely home for everyone. And don’t get me wrong, the issue was brilliant written. Just enough was done to make sure you knew it was Tangle and not Amy at a casual glance. But I don’t look at scenes that scream Amy at me from the start casually. Her and Sonic are easily my favorite characters, so when I see her role being played by someone else you can bet I notice. And Tangle played it brilliantly.

But what did Amy get as a reward for playing Sally’s role in this issue? What else? She had to play the role of the incompetent villain. They barely saved anyone. Another town was lost on her watch. She had hold Whisper back from going out to try in vain to save Tangle. It would have been quite engaging to see Sally challenged as a leader of people and crisis manager as she specializes in it and this arc would have been great to see her character deconstructed and see what really makes her work. Instead, Amy was given her role when she has no business having it, and is shown to be completely worthless after a scene that reads like it was handcrafted for was played out by another character. And of course, that other character when finally cured even gets another huge hug, while Amy is left watching the skies to despair.

It’s hard to see Amy as being treated well by IDW when you really break it down, but because she has been stripped of her character and generally sidelined, her detractors are pleased and as new fans don’t know any better they can’t see what is wrong no less call it out. She played her role in the plot as written so time to move on. She doesn’t matter beyond that, though fans of Amy Acorn/Sally Rose have surely been born as a result, and as an actual Amy Rose/Rosy the Rascal fan that hurts as one of my favorite characters will continue to be slowly killed off as her heart and sole is siphoned out of her and only a shallow doppelganger is left in her place.

Thanks for the Ask anon. I hope that rant and breakdown wasn’t too long or cynical, and that it clearly illustrates why at least I’m not happy with IDW Amy. Maybe even it will help you reflect and see why you aren’t satisfied with her either.

Of course though I rant quite a bit about the franchise in general and have a whole list of other rants of mine you can track down by dropping ‘rant’ into my blog’s search bar. Though that won’t connect you to these four from twitter (though one is kind of segmented)

https://twitter.com/kokoloko45/status/1284905784531398661 (Quite a bit of ranting in here though you have to fish around through the replies to find it)

https://twitter.com/JoshTarwater/status/1283088147576795137 (this one I go off quite a bit about the depreciating meta narrative of the IP)

https://twitter.com/JoshTarwater/status/1254439910422925312 (And this one I go into where I see Amy’s character as mishandled and the necessary steps as I see it to put her back on track)

Thank you again anon, it was a pleasure to answer, even if it did get me riled up again XD 

[dragon-kazansky]

The hypnotist - Jervis Tetch x reader

Summary: Captain Barnes is slipping up and Mario has been infected. Seems as if Jervis has been playing the long game. Jervis finally gets to speak his mind to Jim about the hypnotism accusation.

This chapter is Jim’s point of view. The whole scene with Barnes is important for his talk with Jervis, so I couldn’t really see a way around it. It’s also a little all over the place. This is all just too important to leave out.

Chapter 6 - The Tetch Virus

Change was in the air for Gotham. Something was brewing and Captain Barnes was finding all the more difficult to restrain himself. He had been particularly riled up after his visit with Jervis several days ago.

A need to punish the guilty was strong in him.

Nathaniel Barnes was acting as judge, jury and executioner of Gotham’s criminals. If they were guilty, he would serve them justice.

Lee Thompkins engagement party had occurred and Barnes had been there, following a particular guilty man, whom he threw out of a window and killed. He had fled the scene before anyone could see what he had done.

Jim Gordon had managed to speak to the man before he had died and received a name. Barnes.

He didn’t want to believe that it was the captain who had done this, but he couldn’t ignore either. It was a lead. Jim knew he would have to look into it, but he would have to make sure Barnes didn’t catch on.

He had no idea what was happening to his captain. Not yet anyway.

Jim had gone to Harvey for help, but Bullock wasn’t overly happy with looking into his captain. Jim knew he was onto something, especially after he had heard about Barnes nearly beating Jervis to death at the founder’s party. It wasn’t like the captain to go all out like that, so something had to be happening.

Harvey reluctantly helped Jim, helping him to prove his innocence. Barnes was a good man with a good record.

You had spent the best part of the last few days working as usual. There was an awkward moment where Barbara had sent you to Penguin, apparently he needed someone trustworthy to a special job for him. You didn’t really want to face him, but went anyway.

It didn’t click right away, but it slowly dawned on him that he remembered you being there night, even if he didn’t speak to you then. You had your arm linked around Tetch’s when Jervis bumped into him. You were there when Tetch was pointing that gun in his face, and had done nothing.

Yet, he had also whispers, considering he had eyes and ears everywhere in Gotham, about your ‘condition’ and even had the audacity to show sympathy for you. It took all of your will power not to knock out the mayor.

You thought you had escaped the pity and accusations.

You should have known the mayor would have heard something. Oswald Cobblepot knew everything in Gotham.

You moved into Tetch’s safe house without alerting Gordon or Thompkins about it. They would only know if they tried to visit you.Many of Jervis’ things, though he didn’t have a lot with him when he came to Gotham, were still there. The house hadn’t been touched since that day.

You had ended up sleeping in the main bedroom, clutching to Tetch as much as possible. You had tried to deny that you had feelings for the man, but laying in there in that bed, thinking about him, you knew deep down it was true. You longed to be with him.

You wouldn’t say anything.

It would only complicate things considering the current situation. He was locked up in Arkham and you were more than certain that even now his heart only belonged to Alice.

You would continue to be the good friend you were.

The more days that passed without a visit from you, the more bored Tetch was becoming. He missed so you very much, but he knew you were also trying to keep low. You were working hard to get Jim off your back.

If only he wasn’t locked up in Arkham, he could get rid of James Gordon for you.

Jim, however, was starting to make connections back at the GCPD. Harvey had gone to the scene to get prints and hopefully prove Jim wrong. Gordon was looking through the captain’s office where he found a file on the Tetch siblings.

On the right was a photo of Jervis Tetch, on the left a death certificate with a photo of Alice.

Before he could even comprehend what Barnes was doing with the file, the man himself entered the office. It was very awkward indeed. Jim lied through his teeth about why he was in the office, looking for another file, Barnes seemed to be buying this story.

Jim lied some more when Barnes asked if, due to witness claims the victim was still alive, he had told Jim the killer’s name. Jim of course said no, despite the fact he had.

It was becoming difficult to tell what Barnes was thinking. He wasn’t giving away any indication he knew Jim was lying, but something wasn’t sitting right. There was just something in the way he was looking at him and talking to him that indicated he knew something.

“Well, for what’s worth, I called an old CI of mine with deep ties with the mob.” Barnes walked over to his desk and pulled a gun out of the drawer, loading it as he spoke. “He says that once I collared Simon, the higher ups got jumpy.” He looked Jim in the eye.

“You saying the mob had him killed?” Jim asked, concerned.

“He was giving these guys new faces, was probably the only one who could ID them.”

Something just wasn’t right about this.

Apparently his CI also had a name. That caught Jim’s attention. He said he would get someone onto him, but Barnes immediately denied that idea. The more time he spent with his captain, the more concerned Jim was becoming.

Barnes told him this should all be kept between the two of them, they would go see this guy together. He didn’t even allow Jim to tell Harvey where he was going.

Jim was able to leave Harvey a message when Barnes went to adjust something in the boot of the car. He was more sure than ever that his captain may be up to something. He just needed to prove it.

Barnes got in the car, handed Jim a gun and sounding rather chill as he said, “you never know what’s going to go down.”

Silence filled the car for the longest time, but Barnes was the first to break after driving for some time.

“I have to say Jim, I’m disappointed in you.”

“Oh yeah, why’s that?” Jim narrowed his gaze at his captain.

“Lead detective for a high profile murder and you don’t collect statements from everyone present?”

Jim looked at him confused.

“Me.” Jim nodded. “Let’s do it now.”

“Did you see Simon at the party?” Jim asked, seeing he had no choice but to go along with this.

“Yes.”

“Did you talk to him?”

“No I did not.”

“Did you see him go into the bathroom before he was attacked?” Jim side eyed his captain.

“Unfortunately no.”

“Were you ever in it?”

“Yes.” Barnes finally looked at Jim. “Before it was a crime scene, obviously.” He clarified. “So, detective, am I in the clear?”

“For now.” Jim gave a forced smile.

Barnes chuckled.

“This city is a cess pool, don’t you ever want to do something about it?” Barnes had a smile on his face as he focused on the road.

“I thought I was.”

“What, as a cop? I would have thought you of all people would find that limiting.”

“Not any more, came back to the GCPD to things right. Like you.” Jim eyed him again.

“Like me?”

“Last year at Galavan’s when we were attacked, you told me the law shows us where the line is, it stuck with me.”

“Some would say that our job first and foremost is to protect the citizens of this city, even if it means bending the laws.” Barnes told him, seemingly OK with those words.

“No. Break the law and we’re no better than the criminals.” If Jim wasn’t sure about Barnes’ involvement before, he was now.

Sure Gotham was corrupt and was run by the criminals, but that didn’t mean everyone had to live that way. Someone can still do good in this city. That’s what Jim was hoping for the GCPD, but it seemed even the captain had become corrupt.

“Is that what you were thinking the night that Galavan was killed? The first time. This city is at a crossroads, Gordon. Question is: Would good men fight for it? Will they do what’s necessary? The decision is yours to make.”

Jim turned away from his captain, letting those words sink in, but he didn’t sit still for long. He realised that Barnes had driven past their stop. He tried to tell Barnes, but Barnes changed the address to another, making out as a mistake earlier.

Jim rolled with it as they arrived to the second address and grabbed their guns, storming the area. They found the guy they were after and Jim was losing patience with this guy when he didn’t give any straight answers. He eventually fessed about not killing Simon, he swore by it. Jim believed him, but it’s what happened next that confirmed all his theories about Barnes.

“I think he’s telling the truth, but you’re not innocent.” He lifted his gun up at him and shot him.

Then his reloaded and pointed his gun at Jim.

Barnes ordered Jim to move the body. Considering he had a gun pointed at him, Jim didn’t have many choices and did as he said.

“That’s far enough.” Barnes told him, watching Jim drop the body and look at him. “You’re probably wondering why would captain Nathaniel Barnes, mister by the book, blow a hole in this unarmed scumbag? Could it be that he actually killed Simon? I know, Jim, that you have been investigating me.”

“Did you kill Simon?”

“Is that what he told you? I know he said something to you before he died.”

“Yes he did.”

“Probably the truest words that bastard ever uttered.”

Jim was getting the answers he needed. All he needed was Harvey to come. He hoped his partner had received the message he had left.

“I am the law.” Barnes looked James dead in the eye as he stated those words.

“What happened to you? How did you become this?”

“This? This is who I’ve always been, I just needed something to unlock it.” Barnes closed the distance between them.

“What are you talking about?”

“You’re just going to say that I’m sick, but I’m not. I’ve never been so clear, so strong, in my life.”

“Alice Tetch’s virus. The files on your desk, you’re infected!” Jim finally connected the dots. This had taken longer than Jervis had originally anticipated, but it was happening. 

“You are a detective, after all!”

“Don’t you see? This means you’re innocent! We can get you help.” Jim tried to reason with him.

“Can you just skip the part where you try to get me to give myself up?” Barnes wasn’t having any of it.

“This isn’t you, this is the virus.”

“No! I’m not insane, and you, are not seeing the big picture.”

“You'e going to frame me for Sugar’s murder.”

“That’s up to you.”

It all made sense now. Barnes was having a God complex, almost. He saw the law as his to do with as he pleased. He was taking it into his own hands and serving justice his own way. As long as people were guilty of something, he would be their executioner.

If there was ever a more important moment for an antidote to exist, it would be now.

Barnes tried to recruit Jim, but he would never, NEVER, cross that line.

The conversation was interrupted when someone entered the warehouse to talk to Sugar. Jim used that distraction to run for it, Barnes shooting at him. Barnes gave chase. Jim was able to call Harvey for help. The GCPD had a call saying Gordon had killed someone and they were on their way to bring him in. Harvey went to Lee for help because they needed everyone to believe that Barnes was infected with the virus.

If not, Jim would be arrested for a crime he didn’t commit.

While this was all going down, you at the safe house. It was quiet and lonely, considering you were the only one there, but you were biding your time. After talking to Jervis, you hoped Jim would discover the truth soon. After everything he had put you through about being hypnotised, you wanted to see him struggle as he tried to save someone close to him.

You vowed to stick by Jervis’ side and be his partner in all of this.

Working with him would be a thrill. It had been so far, so why stop now? Especially when you had become so attached to him.

Harvey and company reached Jim. Barnes had been shot, no where vital and was being taken into custody.

He needed the antidote.

Back at the GCPD he thanked Lee for faking a medical report on Barnes. It could have ended much worse if she hadn’t.

Barnes was transferred to Arkham, where would stay until an antidote became available. That was his only way out of the asylum.

Jervis grinned from his cell further down the hall.

“Guilty. Guilty. Guilty.” On repeat.

Jervis knew that was captain Barnes, therefore knew Jim was aware of the situation. He was sure he would get a visit some time soon. Before he wanted to see Jim to mock him some more for what happened to his sister, but after your visits and what you had told him, he wanted to see Jim for a whole other reason. He couldn’t stand by and let Gordon accuse him of hypnotising the only person he had left who cared for him.

He couldn’t!

However, the constant shouting of ‘GUILTY’ was going to drive Tetch mad, more so than he already was. He could only take so much of that.

Jim didn’t have time for visits as Falcone’s car had exploded. He had a whole new case on his hands.

You had taken to writing to Jervis in the meantime.

When he received the first one his was over the moon. He knew you were back on the job and had to limit your visits anyway. Your letters were more than enough to satisfy him, even if he was missing the sound of your voice.

He had told you that Barnes had been arrested. You replied saying you had seen it on the news. Both of you were sure Jim knew about the virus now.

That talk didn’t last long, however, as most of the letters consisted of how much you were missing each other.

It was nice to know he was missing you.

Jervis would make Jim see, he wouldn’t dare do that to you.

Whispers on the street were telling you that the Tetch virus antidote was still being worked on, but they were getting close. Whispers also told you that Falcone’s son, Mario, was infected. If that didn’t rile up Jim, nothing would it seemed.

Jim Gordon hadn’t seen or spoken to you since his last visit. You had ignored every single one of his calls since then, and Lee was unable to carry out her sessions with you.

He had been attacked at the lab where the virus antidote was being made, but he hadn’t seen who it was that attacked him. He was only left with a message on his hand.

Arkham.

It was about time he made this visit. Jervis had been waiting.

“Hello Jervis.”

Jim walked into the room where the Hatter had been waiting. Tetch smiled at him, acting surprised to see him. He wasn’t.

“James, what an unexpected pleasure.”

“Someone else is infected with your sister’s blood.”

“You don’t say?”

“And I’ve been thinking it’s possible she infected accidentally.”

“Yes, possible.” Jervis smiled.

“But your reaction to me you knew, so you infected them after you stole your sister’s blood, but you stayed quiet, waiting for them to show symptoms.” Jim remained stoic as he spoke his theory.

“Well, that would be darn sneaky of my, wouldn’t it?” Jervis grinned.

“I need the name.”

Tetch chuckled as he looked around the room.

“You need the name? So, I’ve been quiet about it all this time and now I’m going to help you because we’re such good friends?”

“Because I can make your life here very uncomfortable.” Jim leaned forwards.

“More uncomfortable than having captain Barnes next door shouting guilty all hours of the night?”

Jim grabbed Jervis by the collar and pulled him closer to him.

“Give me the name!”

“I don’t think Y/N would be too pleased to hear how you’re treating me.” Jervis let out a little chuckle. “My poor dear Y/N.”

“While we’re on this topic, tell me how to break your spell over her.” Jim growled. “I know you’ve been controlling her all this time.”

“She told me what you said. You think I hypnotised her? How dare you say such a thing! Y/N is my dear friend and I would never think of doing such a thing to her. You just hate the idea that someone is being so kind and loyal to me.” Jervis grinned, but it went away rather quickly. “I’ve been waiting for this visit for a very long time, ever since she first told me your lies.”

“Why would someone willingly follow you after everything you did. Does she know you infected people? What would happen if I told her? If she really isn’t hypnotised, she would turn her back on you in seconds.” Jim was trying to get under Jervis’ skin.

“That’s what you want to think. Truth is, I think she would be impressed. She likes me, she does!”

“Where is she, Tetch? Her apartment is empty and if she’s been talking to you, then you must know something.”

Jervis gave a toothy smile. “Why would I tell you that? She’s safe from you. I don’t like how you’re trying to turn her against me, but I’m happy to know she isn’t falling for your lies. My darling Y/N is on my side.” He smile turned soft and his gaze too.

“Alice is dead and your heart is broken, you’ve turned to the only person who gave you the slightest bit of compassion.” Jim shook his head. “You fall in love too easy, Tetch.”

“How dare you! I wonder what my sister’s blood would bring out in you.” He grinned.”The beast in you is right there.”

Jim wasn’t winning. For some reason, he believed Tetch’s words. Perhaps you had been telling him truth all this time.

“So desperate to get out, and I know of whom you speak, oh yes indeed. I stabbed him and pricked him and caused him to bleed, but nothing you can say, no words you might posses can pry me from the smallest guess. For this game is my game. I say when it’s done and right now I’m having too much fun.”

“Want to play a game, Jervis? Fine, let’s play a game.”

Jervis frowned.

“Whoever you infected, has some sort of plan. I want you tell me the name of this man.”

“Wow, James, I have to give that effort and F. Can you really imagine that-?”

“Two are dead. More may die soon. This isn’t a game, give me his name.”

Jervis was growing frustrated with James as he glared at the man across from him.

“You will only know his name when it’s too late, when the one you love has been murdered by hate!” Jervis spoke quickly, caught off guard that he had Jim that. The answer was easy. “Guard! Take me to my cell!”

“What do you mean the one that I love?”

“Guard!”

Jim grabbed Jervis again.

“Give me his name Tetch.” Goodness, Jim was slow. “Give me his name or you share the blame!”

“Nothing, nothing. I’ll tell you naught! His name shall neither be spoken nor taught, he’ll cut and he’ll crush, his blood will run thick. Though from healer to killer is no easy trick.”

Jervis covered his mouth and groaned. Jim had him going and he hated how much he spilled to him. Surely Jim would get it now.

“Healer to killer... He’s a doctor.” Finally he got it.

“You’ll never stop him, James! He’ll kill and he’ll kill!”

Jim got his phone and ran out of there.

Jervis glared at him as he went. He was annoyed he had given Jim the answer, but he was more worried about you. He saw it in Jim’s eyes that he knew he was telling the truth. James didn’t know where the house was, so as long as you stayed there you would be fine.

The moment Jervis returned to his cell he began writing you a letter.

My dear Y/N,

James Gordon finally came, he still puts me to blame. A part of me thinks he finally believes me, however. I hope it won’t be long before we are back together.

I ask that you be wary of Gordon. I am unsure of his next move.... other than going after the man marrying the one he loves.

I must confess I haven’t shared with you my entire plan. I had a few select people infected with my sister’s virus. It would seem they are finally showing effect. I hope you are safe from these select few, though I have no doubt you could handle yourself if things went wrong.

I hope you are not too lonely without me there. I’m sure we’ll be together again soon, one way or another I’ll see you again.

For now stay safe, my dear.

Jervis.

He would wait patiently for your next visit. He knew you would come the next time you were able.

You received the letter the very next day. The day after the wedding of Lee Thompkins. Mario was dead, so you heard. Falcone would most defiantly be dealing with that.

There was no proof, other than Tetch’s words, that Mario was infected.

The virus didn’t seem to come up in tests.

Jim Gordon would be too busy with that issue to come find you. Perhaps you would be able to visit Jervis more.

His words in the letter made you smile. The way he kept calling you dear and how he was concerned about you. Your heart couldn’t take it. You adored this man all the more now.

You weren’t letting Arkham keep you from him.

At least now, if you met Jim again, he might actually listen to you about not being hypnotised. Would he arrest you too?

You knew you had lost your mind when you realised you wouldn’t mind that. With this line of thought, you would have a one way ticket to Arkham.

For now, you would wait and see what happens with Jim.

Tags: 

@mistressoftorture @fandombeehive @awyr

[theyearoftheking]

Book 5: The Stand

Bloggers note: if you’re looking for a complete plot summary and a list of all the characters in this epic tome, this is not the blog post for you. Proceed with caution. 

Once upon a time, there was a precocious ten year-old, with divorced parents. One parent embraced her weirdness and didn’t pay attention to what books she was bringing home from the library; and the other parent was my dad... who constantly wondered (aloud) why I wasn’t like normal kids. 

Being of slightly above-average intelligence, I saw this as an affront, and did subtle things just to piss him off. Subtle things “normal” children probs wouldn’t do. The summer I was ten, my dad had picked up a paperback copy of The Stand, and was raving to me about how good it was. I remember he was fixated on people falling dead in their bowls of Chunky soup. 

“Sounds like a cool book, maybe I’ll read it,” I commented. 

“This isn’t a book for children. You still haven’t read that copy of The Hobbit I gave you.” 

Hold my beer, motherfucker. I’m here for it. And The Hobbit was boring af. I never got past all the singing. 

Just to piss him off, I read the book cover to cover, faster than he did. You know, like normal vindictive ten year-old girls do. I don’t have a lot of memories of my dad growing up, but I hold onto this one fast and tight, because I got mine in the end. I was like the Trashcan Man of the fifth grade set. Just with a worse haircut. See below. 

Needless to say, my comprehension of The Stand almost thirty years later is a little bigger, wider, and deeper. It’s also colored by other epic “Good vs. Evil” reads (sigh, yes... even Tolkien); and King’s other works (mostly The Dark Tower). While at times this was not an easy book to read, I’m glad I powered through it. Ultimately, I feel rewarded I didn’t give up on page 872 like I had initially wanted to. I’m also glad I didn’t go with my gut instinct of reading the original released in in 1978, and then later on the uncut edition that was released in 1990. One reading of The Stand per year is more than enough, thank you. And besides, there’s fun pictures along the way! I mean, if I’m being honest, the book is mostly pictures with just a few words here and there to break it up. I’m absolutely kidding. 

Let’s get into it, shall we?

First of all, I picked the worst fucking time to read this book. Coronavirus is probably going to kill the whole world, and I refuse to be one of the survivors like in The Stand. There’s not enough bourbon in Kentucky for me to survive that shit show. Additionally, my family is huge into board games, and we thought Pandemic might be a fun cooperative game to try. Spoiler: it’s awesome, we’re all hooked on it. I highly recommend it for your next game night. Maybe an End of the World/Pandemic theme?? You can all wear gloves and masks, eat shelf stable foods and bottled water, and play REM on repeat. Sounds... awesome. 

But I digress. The Stand is your ultimate post-apocalyptic good versus evil showdown. A government employee with Captain Trips (the world ending virus) goes AWOL from his base, and takes a frantic road trip across the country with his family, where he manages to contaminate everyone he comes in contact with. 

What is Captain Trips? Well, I’m so glad you asked! To hear a doctor explain it, “We’ve got a disease with several well-defined stages... but some people may skip a stage. Some people may backtrack a stage. Some people may do both. Some people stay in one stage for a relatively long time and others zoom though all four as if they were on a rocket-sled...” 

The virus spreads (like viruses do), until there’s less than 15,000 people left in the country (rough estimate). The people still alive start having two types of dreams; either scary nightmares about The Walking Man, or peaceful dreams about Mother Abigail. Again... good versus evil. Guess who is who. If you need clarification, let me give you this one little quote about Randall Flagg, courtesy of Mother Abigail, “He’s the purest evil left in the world. The rest of the bad is a little evil. Shoplifters and sexfiends and people who like to use their fists. But he’ll call them. He’s started already. He’s getting them together a lot faster than we are. Before he’s ready to make his move, I guess he’ll have a lot more. Not just the evil ones that are like him, but the weak ones... the lonely ones... and the ones that have left God out of their hearts.” 

And his followers?

“They were nice enough people and all, but there wasn’t much love in them. Because they were too busy being afraid. Love didn’t grow very well in a place where there was only fear, just as plants didn’t grow very well in a place where it was always dark.” 

Yeah. I’m just going to leave that there for you to read and digest. 

So, the remaining people from all over the country either ended up in Vegas with Flagg, or Boulder with Mother Abigail and The Free Zone; which is basically Bernie Sander’s Utopian dream. 

God damn it! I swore I wasn’t going to get political and compare Donald Trump to Randall Fla- 

Ok, so The Free Zone. Most of the people who come to Boulder, want to meet Mother Abigail Freemantle, the one hundred and eight year old black woman they’ve been dreaming about. She’s got a self-described case of the shine, and speaks stupid relevant truth to her followers, “I have harbored hate of the Lord in my heart. Every man or woman who loves Him, they hate Him too, because He’s a hard God, a jealous God, He Is, what He Is, and in this world He’s apt to repay service with pain while those who do evil ride over the roads in Cadillac cars. Even the joy of serving Him is a bitter joy. I do His will, but the human part o me has cursed Him in my heart.” 

I’m not religious, but that hit hard. And it shows you the clear difference between Randall Flagg, and Mother Abigail. 

Later on, Mother Abigail also hits us over the head, and explains to us why this book is titled, The Stand: “But he is in Las Vegas, and you must go there, and it is there that you will make your stand. You will go, and you will not falter, because you have the Everlasting Arm of the Lord God of Hosts to lean on. Yes. With God’s help you will stand.”

Spoiler: it doesn’t quite go according to her plan. Very few are left standing at the end.

 So, The Free Zone. People come together, dispose of dead bodies, get electricity turned back on again, clear the roads of abandoned cars, and form a de-facto government. While lots of characters come and go (die. They die.) throughout the book, there are a few mainstays in The Free Zone: Franny, Harold, Stu, Larry, Nick, Tom, Nadine, and Lucy. But again... good versus evil. While most of the residents of The Free Zone are good, Flagg is able to whisper in the ears of some members, mostly Harold and Nadine, who end up defecting and making the trip to Vegas. 

While socialist utopia is succeeding in Boulder, Flagg is ruling with fear of crucifixion in Vegas. His henchmen include Lloyd, and The Trashcan Man. Oh, Trashy... maybe one of King’s most iconic characters. He’s a bit of a firebug (understatement of the century), and really goes out in a blaze of glory (ha. Pun intended). 

In fact, the two heroes of this book are Trashcan Man, thanks to his epic nuclear disaster; and simple-minded Tom Cullen, who is able to infiltrate Flagg’s inner circle, and successfully make it out, rescuing Stu Redman, who is dying in the desert with a broken leg and a horrible infection along the way. Tom Cullen is the character you root for. But Trashy is the character you’re always curious about. He’s like that rebel guy you dated in high school for ten minutes, and now stalk on Facebook, because you want to see what shady shit he’s up to twenty years later. 

This is the biggest oversimplification I think I’ve ever written. The onus is on you to just pick up the damn book and read it yourself. Do it soon, because you might not have a lot of time left, what with Coronavirus breathing it’s death fumes down our necks. 

For those still keeping track, we have TWO Wisconsin references in The Stand. The first was on page five, set in a gas station in East Texas, “...had covered himself with glory as a quarterback of the regional high school team, had gone on to Texas A&M with an athletic scholarship, and had played for ten years with the Green Bay Packers...” 

I can’t help but feel Steve is a closeted Packers fan. He lives in Maine, so I know he’s contractually obligated to be a Patriots fan (gag), but come on... homeboy loves him some green and yellow. 

The second reference comes from our friend Trashcan Man, while trying to find a walking route of possible destruction. “He had planned to get over to the west side of Gary, near the confusion of interchanges leading various roads towards Chicago or Milwaukee...”

Question... does Gary, Indiana still smell in a post-apocalyptic world? Asking for a friend. 

We also start getting the Dark Tower references fast and heavy. I didn’t make note every time Steve referenced wolves, crows, or wheels; because we’d be up over a million references now. And Randall Flagg himself is straight out of The Tower. So that’s fun. And we have our first “ka” reference: “And it came to him with a dreamy, testicle-shriveling certainty that this was the dark man, his soul, his ka somehow projected into this rain-drenched, grinning crow that was looking at him...”

‘Tis ka, bitches. 

Total Wisconsin Mentions: 8

Dark Tower References: 4

Book Grade: A- 

Rebecca’s Definitive Ranking of Stephen King Books 

The Shining

The Stand

‘Salem’s Lot

Carrie 

Night Shift

Next up is The Dead Zone, which I must have watched a million times as a kid, because my mom was obsessed with it, but I’ve never actually read the book. So this should be fun! I mean... who doesn’t love reading a book and imagining Christopher Walken without his cowbell as the main character? 

Long Days and Pleasant Nights, Rebecca 

[virgilantejustice]

the infection (pt. one)

This is my first ever long fic!! if anyone has any feedback or advice, i am totally open to it, i want to make my work as good as it can be. And, please feel free to reblog, i’m only a small account, and i would be nice to get a few more notes.

Total word count: approx. 7000

Chapter word count: approx. 2500

Trigger warnings: Death and violence, dystopian setting

part two  part three  sea of stars  on the church steps  heartbreak

masterpost link

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     "Logan, please, you don't have to go!" He could see the pleading in Patton's eyes, yet he refused to let the trapped tears fall.

     "You know I do," he replied, desperately trying to keep the tremor out of his voice. He had to be strong, for him. "We're starving, Patton. There's nothing left."

     Patton turned his face to the ground. Logan put a hand under his chin and ran his thumb over the mole on his lower cheek, that formed the faint shape of a heart. The only part of his face not covered by scars. Through all that, the heart remained. Amazing in a way.

     "Just- " Patton whispered, "just stay safe. Come back." His eyes were sparkling, glistening, begging.      

     "I can't make any promises," Logan whispered back steadily,but his voice was catching in his throat. "But I'll try. For you, My Heart."

     Patton shrugged his leather jacket off his shoulders and pressed it into Logan's hands. He'd scavenged it from an old clothes shop years ago, it was his only protection, he couldn't use a knife. The leather was thick enough even to stop bites from the infected fangs.

     "No," Logan said firmly, pushing it back. "You need it, I have my knife."

     "You'll be more danger," Patton replied. He was always so stubborn.

     "What if they come?"

     "The knowledge that you're ok with keep me safe."

     "That's nonsense!"

     "Poetic though." A smirk crept on to his face. He knew how much Logan loved poetry, and his smile was infectious. "Please, Lo. Take it, and say you'll come back by dusk." Logan saw the honest pleading in his eyes and put on the jacket. Patton looked so vulnerable, but he knew that he would stay alive by sheer power of will if it came to it.

     "I"ll make sure of it," Logan muttered. "I've got to go," he brushed his lips against Patton's and pulled away. That was really all they could afford these days, when a couple of seconds was the difference between life and death. But nevertheless, Patton pulled him in close, nestling his face into Logan's neck, his breath smelled so sweet, stale and empty.  

     Logan gently eased him off. God knows he didn't want to go, but he had to, for him. With one more fleeting glimpse, he climbed onto the motorbike and rode away.

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           When the first wave hit eleven years ago, they were ready. The disease was wiped from the face of the Earth, or so they thought.

     During the first wave, the symptoms were obvious. The skin went yellow, the eyes black, the flesh rotting away, all this happening within minutes of infection. With the Military and gamer nerds, it was destroyed.

     But it wasn't. They were cocky, overconfident. They'd only made it stronger. It learned, evolved in the few years of peace in which the world was rebuilt, only for it to be torn down once again. The virus, it'd gaining power for the second wave, which swept the world like a tsunami eight years ago.  

     Then, the only immediate sign was the skin on the bridge of the nose. This was now the only part of the skin that turned yellow straight away. There were no other signs. The infected still walked, talked and breathed, but were suddenly overcome by terrible hunger. As soon as they indulged this urge to feed, the virus finally took over, and they fully transformed.

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     It took hours to get to The Ballroom. Logan stepped off the bike and wiped the tears from his cheeks, he had been strong for Patton, but as soon as he left, the mask dissolved.

     Logan felt the bulge in his pocket hit his leg as he swung it off the seat. Part of him felt guilty, part terrified, and a savage, primal part of him was excited. He tried to clear his mind of emotion though, he knew it wouldn’t help him. There was no place for sentimentality at the ball.

     Carefully, he hid his knife up his sleeve (it was better not to aggravate the other people so soon), and placed his mask on his face.

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   There weren't many people left after a few months, and barely any after the eight long years. Only a few thousand in each country, if that. The virus didn't leave survivors. Each zombie died a few weeks after the transformation, if they didn't starve. And most of the time, if you were bitten and didn't die from the wounds, you'd be shot by your own side as soon as the yellow appeared.

     Hostilities had quickly arisen. Old feuds resurfaced as the law crumbled into dust, but anyone with any sense learned to band together, as they had nothing.

     The water was contaminated, the Earth infertile and difficult to protect, and you could rarely risk hunting. Infected animal flesh was poisonous, they may not have become zombies like humans, did but they became potent enough to kill twenty. Most of the survivors had inside vegetable patches and collected rainwater as well as being experienced in identifying infected animals, but sometimes it wasn't enough. So they went to the ball.

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     The waiting room was filled to bursting, the air of intensity overwhelming, fear oozing from the very walls.

     The rules of the ball were simple: two hundred clean and one infected person in The Ballroom; wear a masquerade mask, so no one knows who the infected is; if you take off the mask, you get shot by one of the guards; whoever kills the infected gets enough supplies to set them up for months.

     By about a month into the second wave, only the rich had anything left, so obviously people began to beg. But the upper classes hearts where as hard and cold as their cash (not that dollars really mattered anymore).  

     There was no fee for the ball, no profit to be made. The superiority that the rich held infected them in another way, made them cruel and sadistic. They watched this as sport.  

     As soon as the doors opened, every poor soul who was desperate enough to come filed out in to the hall. It was largely empty, save a few chairs around the edges for anyone brave (or stupid) enough to sit. It still held more grandeur than any other room for miles despite the peeling paint and bare chandeliers.

     People had walked for days to be here, mainly adults, some ragged and desperate looking teenagers, and a couple of idiots had even brought their families ('must be their first time, the infected picked of the young, old and weak first,' Logan thought coldly). Suspicious eyes bored into his back, as everyone scoped the room, but the masks did their job well. Logan could feel his heavy on his nose, the ribbon tied tightly behind his head.  

     'Who was it? Who was it!' Logan frantically asked himself, his face not needing a mask for the facard of calmness that it was already fixed to. People were chatting, milling around, biding their time until the creature attacked. Was it the woman over there with the sharp chin, long brown hair and striped yellow mask? Or the short person with faded remnants of multicoloured dye in their hair? There was no way of knowing, not yet.

     Logan didn't talk to anyone. He stayed with his back pressed against the wall so no one could sneak up behind him. Waiting for a sign, trying to disappear.  

     He kept Patton's as image in his mind. Logan had only come here once before, and had come back practically falling to pieces, and only with a couple of cans that the victors had decided to share out of pity, but then he didn’t have the plan that he had now. As long as Logan kept thinking about him he knew he wouldn't leave him behind. He was the Heart, and nickname from years ago, but it held true. And Logan was the mind, as Patton would always call him, usually while stroking his cheek and coming in closer.

     'No!' Logan told himself, shaking the memory from his mind. He had to be focused, ready.

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When the second wave hit, it swept the world so fast, and there was no way to stop it.

     Logan and Patton were only fourteen when their parents died six years ago, they couldn’t defend themselves, so they did what their parents told them to do with their final breaths, and went into some old mines. A cave in was imminent at all times, but it was safer than the surface. They didn’t know how long they were down there, walking. There was no day or night, there was only blackness or fire.

     Therefore, Logan didn’t know where they were in relation to the sea, or where they grew up, or the remnants of anywhere that was a big city. In the six years since then, they'd explored for miles around their camp, but never found anything that they recognised. The world was just a barren, endless sheet of brown, with only a few ruined towns and cities to break up the wasteland.  

     They lived in an old church now, the only building still standing in the town in which they came up. It was big, and empty, and the windows were smashed making it drafty, but it was all they had. So Patton decided that they would decorate it and make it cosy, collecting blankets and shelves from the ruined houses. He had made it home for them.

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     Suddenly, the person with the dyed hair revealed a large blade from under their coat and plunged it into the stocky man standing before them. The man gasped and fell to the floor, pressing his hands to the crimson flower blooming on his chest, his once purple hair now dyed red with his own blood.

     One of the guards came over and pulled the mask from his still face. No yellow. Just a man. A young man, with laughter lines around his mouth from once upon a time. A dead man now. Dead for nothing.

     That one act of violence then sparked the inevitable chain reaction. The brown haired woman killed the first killer, not them. Then a person wearing an orange beanie bashed her head in, not her. Then their body hit the ground, not them!

     The pent up aggression that lay in everyone's hearts was unleashed. Knives flashed, bats swung, fists flailed. The rich onlookers behind the glass fence were cheering, choosing favourites and placing bets.

     Logan tried to stay to the side, he didn't want to kill anyone who was clean, but he knew he had to win.

     Finally, he caught a glimpse of something. A glimpse of yellow behind a slipping mask, a glimpse of a fang protruding from the lips. a glimpse of a person clearly infected.. It was a man wearing a snake-print mask and scars down one side of his face.  

     Logan fought his way over, dancing away from the blows and slashes that were sent in his direction. Finally he stood face to face with the man. He was covered in blood, his and others, and something dark lingered in his eyes.

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     Before Logan could even jump back in surprise, the man lunged for his neck. He grabbed his shoulders and tried to push him back but his grip was strong. The man bit mindlessly at him, but the leather kept the new fangs from his flesh.

    Logan slipped his knife out of his sleeve and plunged it into him, emptying himself of emotion before remorse could take hold. 'He's not human, not anymore' he told himself. But as the man fell, Logan saw something so human in his eyes. Something sad. Something agonised, as he pressed his hands to the gaping wound that Logan left in his stomach.  

     There was no need to remove the mask. There was so much blood everywhere, he must have swallowed a little and transformed. Fangs hung over his chin, his skin was dry and flaking, his eyes turned black, and his nails covered with red.

     Logan staggered backwards, clutching his temples. "I won," he shouted it to the protected upper classes, "i won!"  

     One of the guards threw a duffel bag at his feet. Logan looked inside, enough for a month, maybe more, but not enough.

     "No!" He cried. "I did not come here for this!"

     "That is your prize," replied a well dressed man, standing up from his plush armchair behind the glass. "Take it or leave it."

     Logan shook his head, fighting to stay calm, but quickly losing "Neither," he snarled. He pulled the object out of his pocket. The backup plan. A grenade.

     Everyone scrambled away from him when he held it up, they were frenzied. The guards ran towards him, but stopped in their tracks when he loosened his grip.

     "You're bluffing," one of the protected woman spat. "We'll all go up! You wouldn't dare!"  

     "Are you willing to take that chance?" Logan began to idly toss it between his hands. The first man gestured to one of the guards, who huffed and disappeared into one of the side rooms, to bring back another, larger bag.

     Logan picked it up and looked inside. The two bags were enough for months! He knew that he should have been happy, but a fiery rage still was building inside him.

      "You know what?" He said to the bomb in his hand. "You guys really fucking suck." And with that, he threw the grenade up into the air, grabbed the bags, and ran.

      It exploded before it even hit the ground.

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     Rubble flew everywhere at deadly speeds, striking guards and participants alike, but the nobles took it the hardest. Their glass prison shattered, crystal daggers embedding themselves into their flesh.  

     Dust and smoke filled the air, Logan stumbled, and ran into people, all charging in the vague direction that they knew the door to be in. He heard the guard's heavy boots thudding on the floor behind him, hot on his trail, but they were too slow.

     He ran and ran, and finally, he burst through the doors. The clouds overhead were thick and dark, blotting out the sun.

     As soon as he got to the motorbike and swung his leg over the seat, he felt someone else climb on behind him, too small to be a guard.

     "Drive! Fucking drive!!" Came the panicked voice, so he did. His priority was to get away from the people he knew were definitely trying to kill him.

     Logan rode in a zigzag to escape the bullets that were flitting past his head. Bullets were worth more than gold these days, and they were shooting wildly.

     The person behind him was practically bouncing on the seat. He felt the terror radiating from them, Logan wanted to stop and ask them questions, but he couldn't. He needed to go faster.

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[foodloverforever0]

One life for the whole world_Namjoon

  Description: Apocalypse started two years ago. Most of humanity was gone. Your dad worked so hard to find a cure, but the infection got to him first. Now it was on you to find a cure and save people you care about the most.

masterlist

The shoot was heard from miles away. The birds started flying, moving from their spots on trees. You got out of your hiding place, walking slowly towards the person you just shoot. The gun still in your hands, you were still holding it ready to shoot in the person moves. You can't take any risks. You stood in front of it, shaking it slightly with your gun. You could hear the persons fast breathing, but it didn't move. You whistled, signaling your dog to come out. Mang was with you since you were ten years old. he was an Akita bred, a very large and cuddly dog. And when the infection started most of the animals died and the ones who didn't just became smarter and larger. And Akita dogs were large so this didn't help really. You were 1,70 cm tall and when he would stand on his four legs he was almost to your hip. He skipped towards you, pulling at the rope. You took it and you tied down the person. You weren't scared that they'll wake up, it usually takes about one or two days after being shot. this doses of the sleeping pills would kill a normal person, but when you're infected you're sisted becomes much stronger. You dragged the body towards your truck, with the help of Mang. You got in your car, Mang took a seat next to you, barking as he noticed some of the infected behind the car, watching silently. The first time you went into a hunt it creeped you out, but after seeing it so many times you get used to it. You turned on the car, driving away.

‘Bark!’ You turned to Mang. He was wiggling his tail while poking the stick with his nose. You rolled your eyes, walking towards him. “Mang I told you no playing around while we look for food.” Mang yawed, sounding bored whit your schooling. “Listen you, bratty young man! I will not tolerate this kind of behavior!” You smiled as mang opened his mouth, copying your talking. “You little twat. Did you already forget who feeds you?” Mang played down, covering his eyes. “O, so now your  good dog, ha?” Mang barked as sing for yes. You petted his head smiling as he made a sound of satisfaction. ‘HELP!!’ You raised to your feet as fast as you could, MAng doing the same. ‘PLEASE! HELP!!’ You looked at mang giving him a small nod, as mang started running in the rection of the voices.

“I don't know for how long we can hold them off!” Jungkook yelled, pulling out his bad from the infected’s head. “Hold on a little longer! I need to see how deep the wound is!” Seokjin screamed as he ripped Jimin’s shirt, analyzing the bate on his shoulder. Jimin wimped in pain, everything was blurry and he felt like vomiting. “Please baby, you need to be strong. Ok? Just hold onto my hand. I promise everything is going to be alright.” Yoongi was in full panic mode. Jimin was laying in his arms, half dead, while others were trying to save their asses. But it looked like they won't get out of it this time, it looked like this was the end for them. Hoseok tried to fire his gun, but nothing came out telling him that he was out of bullets. “Namjoon fire the red light again!” Taehyung yelled as he kicked the infected in the leg, stabbing him in the head. Namjoon looked around himself, at the moment infected weren't looking at him so he raised his arm up with the small red gun in his hand. The bullet went high up in the air. It looked like a red firework, but it was slower and it stayed in the air for a few moments. Namjoon wasn't paying attention and he didn't notice an infected seeking up on him from behind. Hoseok yelled at him to watch out but it was too late, the infected was already holding onto his arms ready to bite. everyone watched in horror, preparing for the worst. Before the infected’s teeth came in contact with Namjoon’s skin a large dog came out of nowhere jumping up and biting onto the infected’s head, pulling him down. Namjoon fell down from the impact, landing on his butt. When Mang was done with the infected he looked at Namjoon sniffing him. Mang moved away from Namjoon as he started to run around again and kill other infected. Taehyung came beside Namjoon giving him the gun that he dropped when the infected got a hold of him. “NO! Baby, please! Look at ME!” Namjoon turned to Yoongi. He was holding onto Jimin that started to puke out blood, he was heavily breathing and he was burning up. That's when Namjoon realized that, he's not going to make it. Seokjin looked at Namjoon shaking his head and pulling his gun out. Seokjin cried as he looked at Yoongi and then at Jimin, aiming the gun at him. “Yoongi, I need you to move.” Yoongi growled, only holding onto Jimin even tighter than before. “Jin don't you dare. He's ok, he just needs time to heal.” Seokjin cried even harder. Namjoon looked at his friends. Taehyung, Jungkook, and Hoseok were trying to fight off all the infected. Jimin was practically dead, and he had a feeling Yoongi would do to himself if Jimin doesn't survive. Namjoon looked at his gun blankly. He raised his arm slightly closing his eyes. Everything's going to be ok. ‘BEEEP! BEEP!!’ Namjoon oped his eyes again, but they were quickly blinded by the strong truck lights. It was driving right at them, before it turned a quick right, stepping on infected. Nobody moved for a few seconds, then a person came out of the truck with a big bag, dragging it across the floor. The person pules their hood down, showing everyone that the person was indeed a girl. She opened up the bag pulling out a very big gun and she trowed it at Jungkook. “Come on! We don't have much time. Kill the ones that cover up the path, cover me and these three while we carry the cotton candy guy, and the eldest out of three of you drives the truck.” She turned to Yoongi, who was hiding Jimin away. “Please.” The girl turned to Seokjin. “He needs help, well do anything.” The girl kneeled down, pulling some kind of a needed from her pocket. “How long since the bite?” She asked as she shook the needle, looking at Jimin’s bite. “Half an hour ago.” This time Namjoon answered, kneeling next to the girl. She sighed in relief. “Good we still have time then.” She was pointing a needle at Jimin’s leg, but Yoongi stopped her hand before she got a chance. “What do you think you are doing? You really think I’ll let you inject something in him? Just like that?” The girl tugged her arm out of Yoongi’s gasp, looking at the needle before injecting it in her own leg. The three of them gasped from surprise as the girl looked bored pulling out another needle out. “Will you let me help your boyfriend now grumpy cat?” Yoongi looked stunned but nodded anyway. The girl didn't waste time as she quickly stabbed Jimin in the leg, injecting him with the liquid into him. Not a second later, Jimin’s breathing calmed down and he opened his eyes slightly. Seokjin laughed a little, as tears run down his cheeks yet again. The girl stood up. “Grumpy Cat, you think you can carry him on your own?” Yoongi noded, he took Jimin in his arms, as he whispered something in Jimin's ear calming him down. “You two cover the back I have the front. We need to get out of here now!” You started walking towards the truck, killing the infected in the way. You can see the two on the others going in the truck too, starting to turn it on. The third one was standing against the doors cleaning the path for you five. You got to the truck, letting everyone to get in as you shot the last infected there. “Hey!” Yo turned and there was Namjoon he outstretched his arm to help you get in the truck and you took it. after you were in the truck someone yelled a ‘go!’ and you started moving. For some time it was quiet, nobody said anything. Before one of the boys looked at you.“What is your name?” You looked at Seokjin, giving him a  small smile. “My name is (Y/n).”

 You drove around some more, to be sure the infected didn't follow you, and you need to change places with the guy who was driving since he didn't know where you live. It to you around fifteen minutes to get back to your place. You immediately put Jimin in a safe room, for now, he was stable and it didn't look like the virus was spreading any more. But he did need new clear blood so you took one of the boys with the same blood type, taking two bottles of blood. You look form the bottles to the boy on the right side of the room. The needle was still in his arm as he drank some of the apple juice you gave him. He looked quite young, and he was buffy as hell. You walked to him taking his arm and outing out the needle throwing it into the trashcan. You clapped your hands proud of yourself making the boy chuckle. You gave him a lollipop sitting on your chair. “What's your name kid?” He took a final gulp from the apple juice before he answered. “My name is Jeon Jungkook.” You wroke his name o the paper, as your going to do with all of them. From what you saw others weren’t bitten, but you won’t take any risks. everyone is going to get the same serum you gave to Jimin. “Is hyung going to be ok?” Jungkook maybe didn't show it but you could hear the fear for someone dear to him in his voice. “Jimin is going to be fine. You don't need to worry.” You stood up going for the door and calling Jungkook to come to. “What was that? The thing that you gave to hyung?” You looked at Jungkook, you wanted to tell him. Tell him everything, but why would you say the truth that everybody is going to hate if you can say a lie and make everyone happy. So you smiled and said. “Something that will help hyung get better.”

In the house was quiet, you could only hear your knife going through the meat you were eating. All the boys were just sitting, not touching their food at all. You were so hungry you didn't notice them not moving at all, but with time you looked up from your plate, searching for more food, only to see none of the boys eating. “The food doesn't have rat poison in it if that is what are you worried about.” All of them stayed quiet before the grumpy cat started talking. “Who the hell are you?” You were expecting them to ask questions, but in a more polite way that was for sure. You pushed your plate from you taking our glass of water. “My name is (Y/n) (L/n). I'm a doctor.” The guy on Jungkooks left asked next. “Is Jiminie going to be ok?” and before you answered the grumpy cat rudely interrupted. “What did you give Jimin? If something happens to him-” “You don't have to worry about that asshole. Jimin is going to be just fine. And if you're so blind I gave Jimin the exact same thing that I gave to myself in front of your eyes.” Before he could respond another one started talking. “Thank you.” Everyone looked at him, he returned the stares before he looked back at you. “I am and I believe every one o us is thankful for what you did for us.” Seokjin looked at the grumpy one, as he made the ‘tch’ sound and crossed his arms. “But If it's ok for us to know. The liquid you gave Jimin... was is by any chance.....a cure?” Everyone stares at you again with curiosity in their eyes. You let out a little sigh out answering the question. “My father was a worker in the laboratory where the virus started spreading, he was one of the survivors. And after the virus infected half o the world, the governer found us and said that the needed my father’s help. But unfortunately, now it's only me.” One of the guys gave you a sad look feeling pity towards you. “The liquid that I gave to Jimin.” You paused for a split of second to look at everybody, you could see the hope in their eyes as they listen to you, you couldn't break that. “Was indeed a cure.” Laughing broke the thick cold silence air, with a few tears too. The night ended with a lot of talking, eating and explaining. And with your heart held tightly with the pressure of guilt on it.

Finally done! The second part will be out soon!:) 

this is Mang by the way :))

[bubblepunk99s]

Tia

Despite having been surrounded by goods for the majority of her life, Tia had never really shopped at a market. Good thing to, as one trip with Met had pushed her to the brink of insanity.

“You need the Falcon-face.”

“I keep telling you there’s nothing here like that!”

“Fine, Chickpea! You call them chickpea.”

They were standing in front of a small stand by the wall of a disused warehouse. The vendor- selling sacks of diamond dates and almonds- looked quizzically at the pair as he handed Tia a bag of chickpeas.

“I call them falcon-face because that’s what they look like.” She held up a wrinkled pea for Tia to stare at. “You can even see the beak!”

All I see is a crazy lady with a shopping bag full of crazy things

Ever since she’d announced that Amara needed further treatment, Met had taken Tia on a madcap tour of the city hunting for ingredients. They hadn’t gone to official market spaces. Oh no; they had gone to private stores, rootcutter stands, alleyway shops and other shady places picking up Goldwood fustic, alum gel, strange herbs Met called ‘mouse-tail’ and ‘hair of the earth’. Even if Met had brought Udana back from the brink of death, Tia didn’t want half of the things they had bought anywhere near Amara.

“So, what do you want?”

“What?”

“To buy. Is there anything you want to buy for yourself?”

“Oh, um...” Dammit why was this woman so good at taking her by surprise? “Well...Amara’s night scarf got burnt in the storm. Maybe we can get her a new one? A really pretty one, though. Nothing cheap.”

“A courting token!” Met seemed delighted. “Though I don’t see why it needs to be pretty, she’ll be asleep when she wears it.”

“I might see it!”

“How would you be close enough to see it?”

Silence. Awkward, sticky silence. Met’s lips curled in a knowing smile while Tia’s own features morphed into a sulky glower.

“Well we can see to that later. Right now, I think I’ll buy you some food and drink.”

Met’s proposed eatery was a gritty little coffeeshop next to one of the main tributary streets that lead to the city’s festivities square. A few stone tables were set against it, upon which were sat a few old men leaning over aromatic bowls of tea as if they were in prayer, coils of fragrant steam moistening their wrinkled faces.

“This is it?” Tia asked

“OK so it’s not a poetry club.” Met admitted. “But you’ll be hard pressed to find a more accommodating place in the whole city.”

Just then two burly men came out, arms crisscrossed with scars and smoking cigarettes down to stubs. They took off a bit too fast for Tia’s liking. As they stepped inside, she wondered what Met had meant by ‘accommodating’.

The inside was pretty much what she had expected: shadowed walls, clustered together tables, an old fan pushing the heated air around instead of cooling it. Faint smell of baking came from downstairs as a young woman brought pastries and coffee pots up to the customers.

“Hey Amniah!”

The waitress saw Met and her rayiha came out as the scent of roses.  

“Met! Pleasure to see you I was beginning to worry...”

“Nothing to worry about, my dear. Two of the usual please, we’ll just be by the cat.”

The cat was a severe-looking star stripe nestled in a corner. Flecks of red dotted its black fur and every so often it would sneeze out a flurry of sparks.

“You know those burn houses down?”

“Oh, we know. But you give a cat some food one day it suddenly feels like its entitled to your whole house.”

Tia rolled her eyes but she could feel herself begin to smile. This place seemed rough, but it reminded her of home. Just a little.

The food was a warming brew- Estakãn it was called – along with some spiced flatbread. Met winked at Aminah, eliciting another spurt of rosy freshness.

“Do you really think we need all this?” Tia said, eyeing the sacks full of things they had purchased.

“Trying to do this without the proper resources would be like trying to pry a nail from a rotten plank with a hammer.” Met ripped up her bread and began to munch. “This requires delicacy.”

Tia didn’t like hearing Amara be compared to a rotten plank but she held back her tongue. She’d been trying to do that more and more lately.

“Just seems like a lot of herbs is all...”

“Where I was trained, pharmacology was called ‘the hands of God’. Trust me I know what I’m doing.” She took a large bite of her flat-bread and a swig of Estakãn. The message was clear: no questioning her methods.

The Hand of God. Strange as this woman was, she wasn’t a god. What Amara had displayed though- that lightning strike, that thunderous Baran- for all the tricks she’d seen and been taught in the Ports, Tia had never seen anything like that.

“What’s wrong with her?”

Met glanced up from her food.

“Do you know what a virus is?”

“A what?”

“A virus. What is it?”

Tia faltered. Her medical knowledge amounted to treating cat bites. Thankfully Met answered before she could.

“A virus is an infectious agent. It can replicate inside the cells of a living organism, cause all kinds of havoc. The dead are much the same- they latch on to the living to grow, infecting their memories with the ones they had in life. Soon the victim exists between life and death, not knowing to which they belong. The dead are buried outside city limits to prevent them from poisoning the living, both their bodies and their souls.”

She took another bite of her meal. Tia’s own churned uncomfortably in her stomach.

“The body has immune factors to repel viruses. But to guide the dead out you need a touch of ritual. I’m sure your temple friend can attest to that. Still, I trust I’ve assured you I’m not some hack dabbling in kitchen herbs?”

A challenge. This time she could rise to it.

“It’s not you buying herbs that bothers me.” She said, trying to imitate the Port master’s dry wit. “It’s the quality of those herbs. Everywhere we’ve been to has been back-alley at best. Surely there’s a proper market we can get them from?”

Met cackled at that. “The Corvus have killed all trade in this city. People can’t bring anything in without being forced to pay a hostage tax that goes up with every new week. Most merchants just gave up after a while.”

Now I know what Kapu was so mad about Tia thought.

“Barely anyone comes to the coffee-shops as a result. You may have noticed it’s pretty thin on the ground here.”

“I just assumed this place attracted a very particular crowd. One you were a part of.”

A man in the corner gave a hacking, grisly cough. Met’s eyes narrowed.

“Surely there’s other ways to make business. Can’t they provide for the Corvus? Cook, translating, anything?”

“No city local works in the nest. People from off world came with them to cook and clean and the like. But no locals.”

“Because they could poison the food?”

Met looked impressed. “You catch on quick don’t you?”

Tia shrugged. “I had a demanding childhood.”

“I’ll drink to that.”

They clinked their cups and swigged down their drinks. Tia had tested the water. Now she was going to push out a bit further from the shore.

“Why are you helping us?”

“A doctor’s duty.” She let out a mirthless chuckle. “There’s a high chance that shards of the dead have now worked their way into Khedes. You saw me pull out that piece back when your friend shocked me. If there’s any possibility of her being in danger... I need to make sure what kind of dead thing this is before attempting a cure.”

“If you don’t what kind of dead it is and can’t make a cure without knowing, what’s all this?!” Tia said, gesturing to their sacks.

“Those are the tools that will help me smoke it out.”

“You make it sound more alive than dead.”

“You’ll find the distinction gets blurry around here.”

Silence. Met raised her head and fixed Tia with those lovely brown eyes.

“Khedes is my reason. For everything I do. If I think there’s a threat to her, I will isolate it and kill it without hesitation or reserve. Something tells me you can understand.”

A threat this time, not a challenge. But also, something more, something sadder...

“I do understand.” Tia answered. “And I want you to know- I feel exactly the same way about Amara.”

And the others. But don’t tell Temple girl I thought that she finished internally.

Met smiled. A real smile, full of understanding and a light that broke through the tiredness that had been casting a pall over her face.

“I know.” She patted Tia’s had gently. Instantly she felt a wave of warmth rush up her arm. She could almost imagine Amara being right there by her side. Seems Met really did know.

Just then, they walked in: two Corvus men. Their light briefly stabbed into the darkness, before settling as a halo of wispy light.

“This a red zone?” One said

“Get the guide.”

They called in a new man- one in Soljinn robes but with a head-scarf and goggles that glinted in the half-light. Likely done to protect his identity, Tia realized. No one would want their fellows to know they were collaborating with the Corvus.

“Everyone out.” He said in the Soljinn tongue. “This place is under surveillance”

He turned to the men.

“Be sure to rub your stomachs and En-alqarf. It’s how we express gratitude for the food. A ritual.”

The Corvus nodded, staring at the customers with big, wet eyes. As the people shuffled out, they rubbed their stomachs, emphatically shouting “En-alqarf! En-alqarf!”

It was ridiculous. Tia noticed the translator was struggling to keep a straight face. The last man to file out the room hissed a word at him. Yehjib. The man’s smirk vanished. He followed them out.

Tia made to get up too, but Met grasped her hand. Slowly shaking her head, she directed Tia back into her seat.

“Hey!” One of the men barked. “You ladies hear us? It’s not safe here.”

Still they sat.

“What they doing keeping company like this anyway?” The corvus were now standing over them, their light slithering in ripples over Met and Tia’s skin. “Don’t they know what kind of men come here?”

“Can they even understand us?”

“Maybe they’re from one of the universities.”

“Where the fuck did the guide go?”

“Maybe this one’s a widow. Widows always end up in places like this. Or worse.” He sniggered.

Still no response.

“Nah.” The light around the men brightened and hardened. “They’re ignoring us.”

In a flash, Met grabbed the hands of both men. Their eyes widened and their light began to flicker madly until it gave out entirely. Then they both toppled down.

Darkness flooded back. Met breathed out.

“I hope you think I’m more than a mad woman.” She said. “And be sure to tell that Temple girl you’re her friend. You never know when that chance will be taken from you.”