#'why would you do this to yourself' one may ask.....well bc i love to suffer

[prapais]

LOVE IN THE AIR (2022) episode 09 // episode 13

[koolades-world]

Hello! When you have time can you please do headcanons on the brothers (and side characters) reacting to MC pranking them by getting a brussel sprout, dipping it in chocolate and nuts, then wrapping it into a ferrero rocher covering and then going so far as to reseal the box? I think this would be really funny lol

hiii!! yes omg of course

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BESTIE (i think i timed this right? if not, i'm close bc it's still your birthday week lol) y'all go wish atom happy bday! literally so many of my bangers are a request she made. hope you had a wonderful birthday <3333

enjoy <3

Mc pranks everyone with fake Ferrero Rochers

Lucifer

he actually automatically assumes the anti-lucifer league put you up to this

you manage to dodge all liability for something you were totally responsible for

take this secret to the grave lest you suffer the wrath of lucifer haha

Mammon

he loves you so much, so he pretends to enjoy it since he assumes it's just an odd human thing

however afterwards, he immediately throws it away

you might casually mention it again in the future and then he realizes it was a prank all along

Levi

may or may not burst into tears because he thinks you hate him and that's why you gave it to him

please buy him a regular tray and show him it was just a prank

if you really love him, eat one yourself to show how sorry you are

Satan

if you were anyone else, there's no way you'd still be alive

seems the most likely to spit it out, but laughs it off with you

he might play a harmless prank on you back and hopes it's not the start of some mini war

Asmo

will outright ask you if you were being serious or not

that intense look in his eyes gets you to confess

as payback, he has you act as his mannequin for the evening to test out fun outfits and makeup looks on

Beel

he's the wrong one to prank lmao

he will deadpan eat them, tell you how oddly delicious and different they tasted

will ask for more. prank: failed

Belphie

he sees right through your shit

he will eat one, but will immediately realize what you did

won't retaliate but will give you the meanest stink eye ever

Diavolo

will happily eat it

he thinks it's just a human thing and will make sure to let you know he enjoyed it

it seems as if he actually liked it! is this success or not?

Barbatos

that 'candy' will not enter his mouth once

it's barbatos, he saw this coming and won't fall for it

in fact, you somehow end up eating it. well played barb, well played

Simeon

would for sure pretend to enjoy it

he doesn't want to hurt your feelings after all, since it was a gift

unless you ever admit to what you did, he will never say anything about it

Luke

like father like son

he assumes it was a well intentioned gift and will take the fact that he hated it to the grave

honestly maybe just don't do this to him it feels cruel haha

Solomon

he seems like he'd actually enjoy it

just convince him that it's just how they are now and he's been away from the human world for too long

however, this will all go out the window as soon as he buys himself a tray haha

Mephisto

he feels so betrayed haha

here he was, thinking you'd gone out of your way to give him a gift

contemplates retaliation, but decides not to because he deems himself a gentleman

Thirteen

she doesn't contemplate retaliation

her plan had already begun to moment she took a bite of your monstrosity haha

you may want to watch your back from now on, but she'll probably get you anyways

Raphael 

i feel like he would at first be confused

but then, he's going to threaten you with his spear(s)

run for you life mc!

[bambisnc]

the leaving someone at the airport trope is so so crazy to me because what do you mean we know we love each other so, so dearly that it actually feels like how a thread would when it's stretched too far apart. what do you mean we have to say goodbye because we both know it's better for you to leave. we know you'll get better opportunities there, we know your reason to leave is totally valid and this is not a fucking movie with the trope that “oh love <3 love is all i need i'll leave everything to be with you <3” and even if that is, in fact, what they feel they should do you won't let them because you want what's best for them, even if it completely destroys you - one painfully beautiful memory at a time.

and oh my god the actual moment when they have to leave. you're there at the airport, they say goodbye to all their friends, family, whoever there is with them but you just can't bring yourself to say it. obviously it goes unspoken that you both want the other to wait for you but how could either of you say that? how could either of you ask the one you love to suffer, to be in pain, to be without that one constant in their life and not seek other companionship? so in the end you just end up not saying anything. there's too many people, there's not enough words, you can't express all the feelings you have unless they physically become one with your skin and even then you doubt it'll be enough, how could it ever be enough? but of course you can't let this show for fear that the other who seems to be oh so calm and cool about this would start to question their decision. 

the worst feeling though, is when the doubts start to creep in. what if.. the reason they seem so unaffected is because you simply just don't mean that much to them? you know it's logical to leave, hell you more or less forced them to make that decision but it stings so, so much to think that they may have, subconsciously or not wanted to get.. away from you?

but hey what can you even do now the plane's already left; they're gone. maybe forever. they’ll never be yours again but what if they weren’t ever yours to begin with? maybe they'll move on, maybe you'll move on, maybe you'll both be reduced to nothing but a nostalgic memory, to old playlists, to borrowed clothes, to photos in that special folder named after the other; none of which you can bear to part with. the dazed, out of sorts state you're thrust into exists like an omnipresent cloud but you can't, no you must not let it affect your daily life.

so you go about everything just as usual even if for no other reason than to satisfy that little spirit of spite and yeah you hear about them every now and then; it's not like everyone around you has a lingering grudge (or a crush? to be fair, in a way they are both rather fitting, aren't they?) against them, you can't help but wonder if they hear about you, think about you as well? if they feel all the feelings that torment you every second of every day till you're not even sure what exactly it is that you're feeling anymore and if all of what you're feeling is still for them or is it somehow, for some reason targeted towards yourself? for falling for them in the first place

wc : 614 dang 2 away from 616 /pensive notes : man. last ep of friends s1 really got me in my feels huh. anyw trying out a new font?? (made some more edits bc the font was not working out + grammar rarely ever grammars like how it's supposed to grammar) (edit #69420 WHY DOES THE FONT KEEP UN-SMOLIFYING??) also -> rb's + feedback appreciated!! ^_^

[check out my m.list for more <3]

[khaosrealms]

I love the Syzoth X Princess!Reader so much I can't even- ❤️❤️❤️ Is it alright if I request something similar but with the Lin Kuei trio? Syzoth falling in love with Sub-Zero, Scorpion, and Smoke's younger sister? I imagine her joining the Outworld investigation bc "Lord Liu Kang, you're sending two of the least stealthiest people in our group for a covert op? With all respect, why in the world did you think this was a good idea?" Basically pressuring the local demi-god into letting her tag along, and the mission going to hell anyway. Super-ninja be damned, the chaos cannot be contained. I also imagine Johnny isn't going to let that fact go anytime soon.

NUWA’S RAZOR. / SYZOTH X LIN KUEI! READER.

a/n: of course it is alright to ask for such a request, that is why i’m here! thank you so much for sending the ask— i am happy to respond 💚

- Perhaps it comes with the territory of being the sole sister of a family of boys. A sense of responsibility likened to that of a mother coordinating a group of toddlers. Younger than your brothers you may be, but hardly inept and hardly easily swayed enough to be told by your Lord when your presence is unneeded. What else was he to expect, when you spent the many of your living years upon Outworld’s soil doing everything in your power to prevent your brothers from slaughtering one another where they stood? If there was anyone more capable of investigating Outworld with discretion, it is you.

“Look at them, my Lord.” You utter, gazing upon his champions. A cabbage farmer, a former yakuza, a deadbeat stage fool. Men who can hardly so much as breathe before taking a bite at one another’s necks. Well, at the very least— with Kung Lao, it was more to take a nip at your own. Easier to control. “If it is recognition you fear, you know you may trust me to remain hidden much better than these… Earthrealmers you have chosen.” You do not miss the gasp of insult that escapes Johnny’s lips; rather, you choose ignorance. Searching for answers in Liu Kang’s glowing eyes. Yet nothing speaks, so it is words you are forced to accept. Words that come in what you imagine is a form of sigh from your Lord’s lips. “No one is to know that you are Lin Kuei.”

- And also, perhaps, you should have simply chosen to let the Earthrealmers suffer their own given fate. The bickering, the clumsy coordination, Tarkat, Shang Tsung, by god, Kenshi’s own eyes. By the time that you awake in a cell, dank and filthy with the smell of corpses and gore, you feel as if that day, you’d been better suited to remaining at home. Continuing your daily training as you’d had for years on end. But instead, waking with an ache in your head so deep it rushes to your spine and forces you up, you realize you no longer had that privilege. Here, instead, you were residing within Shang Tsung’s true laboratory— soon to be faced with the horror of being taken apart and made into whatever greeted your eyes through the cell’s bars.

- You’d been the second in the cell to awake, after Kenshi, woken by virtue of true and utter pain, gouged of his sight; and Baraka, awake since his capture, there to fill the hours alongside you both while you stew in your fate. You’d learned from the former merchant that your jailer had passed prior to your awakening. And now, all five of you await for his return, well— some of you. Johnny and Kung Lao were deep sleepers, it seemed. For now, the ones in the waking world, Baraka, Kenshi, and yourself, filled the rancid air with words. Jailer, you wondered. A chance to flee, bars wide enough to wrench a hand through, threaten for freedom. Options, all waiting for you to spring upon the man who chose to align himself with Shang Tsung and would die for his choice.

- Nearly, you do it. When Johnny finally rouses, stumbling to Kenshi’s side, your jailer appears. Dressed in green, red fabric tied around his bicep, and a tattooed arm that reaches in just enough to be held and twisted around. But it is Baraka who makes the first move, his word that gives you enough pause to listen and discover the true nature of your jailer. Not a herald for Shang Tsung’s cause— a slave to it. His family in the clutches of a man who would slaughter them if so much as a whisper of betrayal left him. A shapeshifter, a Zaterran. Syzoth, a name you only learn due to Shang Tsung’s arrival after fighting the hoards of his creations. A sorcerer who revealed your jailer’s only purpose for remaining in enslavement was a lie. His family dead “many moons ago”. Suffering for no cause but for Shang Tsung’s cruel ambition. Here to die alongside the five of you; suffocating in toxins.

“I should’ve simply stayed with my brothers.” You can’t seem to get the rancid smell of Shang Tsung’s labratory out from your lungs; no matter how hard you breathe in the air of Outerworld. Johnny cackling out a laugh. And too, that smell sitting in the newfound companion of Syzoth. But rather, more so— the scent of despair. Enough to give you pause; to bite back Bi-Han’s insults and instead lean towards Kuai Liang’s guidance. “…He will get what he is due.” A momentary sentiment, but you can see his eyes flicker. Heard, even in the abyss of his mourning. “I am sorry, for your grave loss.” For a moment, he reminds you of Tomas. A sort of kindness in a place where it should have no place coexisting. “Thank you.” “Thank me once we get what you are owed.”

- From that time forth, an agreement formed between you both. To seize the moment, to make Shang Tsung fear the hour for which his own actions would smite him, and you would be there— to assist in that vengeance. A blood pact, almost; shaken hands on even. A source of comedy for Johnny, who found nothing but delight of the thought of the ‘big bad serious ninja’ actually shaking someone’s hand. Syzoth simply shared in your confusion. A mutual link of attitude towards the odd Earthrealmer. If a bit more lenient of his callousness than yourself.

- In Syzoth, you suppose what you find is a… reasoning for balance. You’d cared for your family, always, yes— but you never considered what truly was at stake had someone taken them away. If, like your father, all those you loved were slaughtered. Would you still find the determination to keep going once they were gone? Would you still fair with that kindness he holds when the two of you speak during the night? Still passionate about living beyond vengeance against Shang Tsung— enough to laugh with the Earthrealmers where you failed to join. Too set in Lin Kuei ways; the silence of it, the tight grip of it that these days Bi-Han holds over it as grandmaster. You’d never considered it before. That it was possible you could be swayed. That it would be a Zaterran who would make you question the way of the Lin Kuei as it was.

[fllagellant]

14 + 19 for antioch & theris 15 + 21 for estel + hivaris :3

:33 THANK UUU … my boys ..

ask game here !!

14. who are they closest to from their family?

HmmmMM . Theris is probably his Keeper first .. then mother second #mamasboy . He was an only child since his mother couldn’ t have another child after him . So she doted Heavily on him and the Keeper was like . The third parental figure . His relationship with his dad is fine but he isn’ t the man Theris would go to if he needs serious advice yknow …. His dad also isn’ t a fan of how Theris is setting up his life pre inquisition . The whole Herald’ s Bodyguard thing almost makes him have a heart attack

Antioch is his younger siblings … two very young kids who he is both the cool older brother too and also the overbearing parent to . Yes you can ride the halla . Yes you can come watch me hunt . Dont you DARE pick up those skinning tools you WILL hurt yourself are you kidding me . Stand in the corner I am not arguing with you . He has that ‘ motherly instinct ‘ that also doesn’t work 9/10 but when it does …. He just loves his baby siblings so much and wants to be the person they’ ll feel comfortable talking to as they age

19. are they afraid of death?

Yes . But not their own … kinda . Both Theris and Antioch have sorta signed themselves onto this idea of duty and both of them understand that sacrifice may be required blah blah blah but that also doesn’ t mean the idea of the Other having to die for this cause doesn’ t make them feel Awful Things . + Antioch’ s whole thing is being the overreaching protector of His people . And His people right now are the inner circle + the inquisition at large . Therefore he Has to kill to keep them from dying . It’ s chill if he does tho !!! But it isn’ t bc Theris is one funeral away from learning necromancy,

It’ s a cycle of no They can’ t die . I can tho . But not them

15. preferred weapon of choice?

Estel loooove evil nightmare and blood magic but idk if that counts as a weapon . But big and intricate staves ? Yes please !!! Even better if it has a stabbing end !!!

Hivaris has homoerotic tension with every 2 handed maul he comes across . Every problem is a nail , and well ,

21. what is their biggest regret?

This one is so difficult I dont know Why . Earlier on it might have been Becoming a Grey Warden for both of them . But that does not last .. even with the sheer amount of drawbacks …

Estel regrets how the Circle formed them … if that makes sense .. made him bitter and ingrained both that instinct to follow orders and also the instinct to rebel against any sort of rule so it’ s just like . Well . I also think a part of them regrets not dying with the Archdemon but not really … unless ? Haha what if I prove everyone wrong and go down in a blaze of blood and glory and mark the word as an apostate and an elf that saved this shitty , shitty place . But then Estel looks in a mirror like nvm people need to Suffer me more

Hivaris . Okay I think his biggest regret he is conscious of is not being able to help his sister sooner . Like he does , sure , but he hates that it took so long for him to be able to do Anything for her , in his eyes . Also visiting her when he was a grey warden too like damn … maybe I should have avoided going home now she’ s just gonna worry about me . But subconsciously ? I think he regrets doing the ritual with Morrigan . After the fact it is that tug of guilt that she’ s going off Alone to birth and raise a kid that Is His . Like wow #absentfather … this sucks . He doesn’ t try to think about it because it was a ritual to trap the soul of the arch demon but its still a baby boy and everything that is His son at the end of the day

[scionshtola]

do you have any favorite parts from The AU you want to share? 👀

seeing this ask made me go write more of The AU so i had more things to choose from which is why it has taken so long adsjf but ty for asking beloved 🥰 i do have a few favorite parts to share! I'm putting it under a cut bc i am long winded. and chose 4 parts. also just a warning the last one is nsfw🧍but the first 3 are not!

most of what I have written so far is shtola suffering at Cori and Haurche's engagement party, so here is a little bit of that

When she had escaped the happy couple, Y’shtola strode directly to the table of artfully stacked glasses of champagne. She plucked one by the stem and was deciding whether it would be improper to down the whole thing at once, if no one saw her, when someone beside her said, “They certainly make a picturesque pair, do they not?” How often had she heard that same sentiment throughout the night? If she never heard those words again, ‘twould be too soon. Yet she could not doubt the words either. Though the details were difficult to decipher by aether alone, she could see the flattering cut of Corisande’s dress, the long sleeves trimmed in lace and the floor length skirt that swirled about their legs as they danced. Silver blue, Tataru had informed her with an annoyingly dreamy sigh, to match Haurchefant’s eyes. Y’shtola could picture it all in her mind with an irritating clarity—the icy blue of their dress against their cool brown skin, wine-red hair braided into a crown ribboned with pink, mismatched green eyes alight as they greeted their guests. The man himself cut a dashing figure at their side as they moved through the party together, the two of them effortlessly kind and endearing, and endlessly besotted. Picturesque hardly began to describe it.  “They certainly do,” Y’shtola said, and tipped her glass, swallowing half of the contents at once.

personally I am v amused by the detail Shtola goes into about Cori and then is just like 'Haurche is there too.'

also am fond of this convo with Artoirel where he and Shtola are sort of talking past each other/about different things but she doesn't know what it is he means

Artoirel failed to stifle his scoff. “His favored child caught the heart and the hand of the Champion of Eorzea. Any parent would be pleased with the status that affords them by association, would they not?” “I don’t see any reason their title should matter, aside from as a testament to their character.” Y’shtola did not care for the direction this conversation was taking, nor for the tone he was taking regarding Corisande.  “Haurchefant certainly thinks much of it, as does my father,” Artoirel answers, an edge underlying his words. Y’shtola narrowed her eyes, but before she could press the matter, he continued, in the same dry tone as earlier. “The arrangement is to Corisande’s benefit as well, at least when it comes to their ventures in Ishgard. It is no small thing to marry a Count’s son.” “Corisande and Haurchefant are in love,” Y’shtola said neutrally, though the words hurt her to speak. She could not discern the reason for his obvious disdain of the engagement, but Corisande was the most genuine person she knew, and she would not let him suggest there were any ulterior motives where she knew there to be none. “I can assure you she does not care for any benefits a title may bring.

and a little bit of friendly flirting conversation

Even the words she spoke kindled something warm in Y’shtola’s chest. They were looking for her.  “Did you need something?” “Only the pleasure of your company,” Corisande answered sincerely, and offered Y’shtola her arm. Y’shtola did not hesitate to take it, and Corisande began to guide them through the crowd. “I have hardly seen you all night, though I’d hoped to find you earlier. Pray tell me you don’t feel I’ve made you fend for yourself against the Ishgardian nobility.” Y’shtola leaned against Corisande as they walked—as much as she could, anyway, with the difference in their height. “I do not feel abandoned. Not by you, at any rate. Tataru and Alphinaud, on the other hand, left me behind without a second thought, and shall be hearing from me later.” “Do not tell me you have been completely alone all night,” Corisande said with a laugh. “I fear that shall only make me more keen to make it up to you.” “Worry not, there has been no shortage of people to converse with,” Y’shtola answered, pleased by the teasing tone they had taken, and ignoring the hopeful skip of her heartbeat. What was there to hope for? “Though I shall happily play the part of the woefully abandoned, if only to know how you intended to make it up to me.”

okay LAST ONE!!! and this one is uh. smut. so. stop here if u do not want to read that ladsjf from the first time they sleep together

She breaks away from their mouth and kisses their neck, spurred on by the soft noises each one draws forth. Corisande is pliant beneath her lips and her hands, going easily when she guides them onto their back with a gentle touch. It’s only when she has pressed kisses halfway down their chest that she truly appreciates the deep-V neckline of their nightgown, and something clicks in the back of her mind. Her hand traces the fine lace of their neckline, following it down the valley between their breasts until she meets the small bow tied beneath them. ‘Twas not unusual for Corisande to dress in lace trimmed clothing, nor was it an exaggeration to say half their wardrobe was composed of short skirts and dresses. But the combination of clothing choice and the hour at which she had shown up to Y’shtola’s door made a compelling case for her suspicions. Y’shtola plucks at their gown. “Did you wear this for my sake?” “Yes,” they admit, slightly breathless. “You are aware that the finer visual details are rather lost on me, yes?”  she traces the lace detailing over their chest again, pleased by the shake in their voice when they answer. “I admit when I came here tonight I was rather hoping for a t—“ their breath hitches when Y’shtola cups their breast, savoring the cool silk of their gown under her hand. “A tactile experience.” Y’shtola laughs, though she cannot help but be pleased by the confirmation of what she already knows. Corisande wants her, they made an effort for her.  She slips her hand back under their gown, past the waist of their underwear. “‘Tis fortunate, then, that I am happy to oblige.”

[sigmaelxgr]

Hello!

3, 7, and 15 from the OC trauma ask game for any OC of your choice :)

heyyy its the sixth time im trying to answer this ask!! :D i think Tumblr cant deal the length of it? i dont know but i couldnt just NOT elaborate on this, the questions were so good!! im so glad i can share with you points of this dunmer called Sangre/Xangr (Sangre is the most common spelling but Tumblr prefered with an X) brace yourself, dearest, bc thats a LONG answer that awaits!! LETS GO

3 - Have they died before ?

YOU BEGAN..... With the absolute most banger question of the whole ask meme. I am obliged to elaborate on this. I'll tag @shadylex bc, dear, you may like it (pls answer the same ask for Yera) How do I state this... Xangr doesnt really know if he's alive. Well. There are clues you'd say! But this boy is not quite sure about that. Xangr feels like his body is not his. He feels like his face is stolen from another. He feels like his whole life is what living as a cancer would be. He asphyxiates in his own rotten flesh. He feels his bones rejecting him so hard they cramble like glass from time to time. He feels STUCKED HERE... Somewhere not at the right place, somehow caged here inside of the One this body belongs to. So, if this meat isnt his, if those traits arent his neither, who is he? What is he here for? Does he even exist, if nothing is his? He's born aged 11, when a boy named Sigma-El shattered. He's been throwned into the hell of existance without any explanation. Xangr had no name back then. He had no idea why, he had no idea what was happening, no context, no clue but he felt MAD, he felt spontaneously FURIOUS about existing, he couldnt talk without spitting his rage to everything. He learnt quickly to dispise living, the rage turning his gaze away from his body, that made him SUFFER without any reason to be found. Pain alterated his appreciation of the world. Xangr experienced suffering so hard he was blinded by it. Each fiber of his being tore him apart, so violently he would bite, bleed himself to feel relief...

Until years, and years later, free from the Telvannis and far from Vvardenfell that he fled in his desperate fury against everything, an Altmer called Cyriel took long months to establish a dialogue with him. It was at first chaotic, but Cyriel understood that this insane violence directed toward the outside found its source directly into core. Cyriel acknowledged pain. He acknowledged trouble, hunger for answers, wishes for loneliness, DISTRESS. He asked him if he has a name, HIS name, and Xangr, named Sigma-El back then, said "Sangre." (A red pigment, HIS fav color)

Now that he has a word to design himself with, he began slowly to live as such. It took years again for Cyriel and Xangr to explore the implications of this new statement. What Xangr is, what is his role here. Cyriel was a fantastic friend, such a nice character (I love him with so much tenderness) but even now with dawning of answers, questions remained and Xangr feelt deeper and deeper as a hack, a fraud, he understood that they are at least two and feelt existing as stealing Sigma-El's life.

Sigma-El is here, somewhere, asleep. He knows the day Sigma-El would wake up, he'd die probably in counterpart. It would be the day he's not needed anymore - and each time Sigma-El or what will become Molkhun Dahkem take on their body, Xangr experiences anguish of disappearance again and again.

He feels alive nowadays, when he's painting his skin, when he's sewing his dresses, when he's performing dances, when he's having sex, when he eats juicy fruits or kahjiiti tajines, when he hears the enchanting sounds of his jewelry... and even more after the Planemeld in which he heavily took part back then, as a Worm Cultist. He got so much into death, so much into self-destruction..!

Now that he learnt to accept their condition, to love Sigma-El, to love himself too, pain appeased a lot. Yet he's so scared to die and willing to live his own life, he knows the clock is ticking bc he disobeyed Coldharbour, he knows he has to enjoy seconds before Oblivion reaps him... Even if in doing so, he keeps his dear Sigma-El forcefully shutted down for a while.

Life...or even what feels like a simulacre of it... Is way too good. Way too precious. Way too much of a miracle.

So I'd say.

Yes, Xangr knows death. He knows existing and non-existing. That's why he's so eager to survive.

7 - How easy is it to make them cry ?

You won't be capable to. He even doesnt know how to do. It happens that he feels numb and his body sometimes craves for tears, but they dont fall. It's like he never learnt to do so. It remains stucked.

Its due to the fact that even if, now, its better than ever, he doesnt feel connected to his envelop. He doesnt feel connected to his own feelings enough to let them exist this way. First, he's not concerned about people's emotions at all and dont experience them the same way, but foremost he struggles to let them live. That's why his smile is beautiful but empty, Xangr has a pretty face but almost no active emotions going through it. BUT THERE IS AN EXCEPTION. This exception being Sigma-El. When Xangr focus on Sigma-El, when he puts his hand on his belly as he was bearing a child, there is a link that creates here. He's so deeply merged with Sigma-El that he fades crying when his soul reverberates the later's light. Sig is now everything to Xangr, it's his infant, his lovely dear, his life evolves only around him being asleep and needing protection... Xangr feels so much intimacy, so much spontaneous understanding when Sigma-El is there with him, it's too much to handle. Brushing Sigma-El with the very end of his fingers... Brings the euphoria, the joy of existing and suddenly having all the answers. He gets emotional each time he mentions him.

15 - Are they neurodivergent ?

Heck yes they are. They are a system of alters, the host being Sigma-El. Sigma-El as such have a lot of autistic traits he gave to Xangr when he "fell asleep". Xangr is stimming a lot, barely interested in social conveniences, looks blunt, has a taste for riddles and troubles interacting with people. He's very independant and most of the time he's a sweetheart that people learn to love. He has a passion for erotic novels - he seeks stimulation and likes everything that brings sensations to his numb body. He's a bit ADHD, like myself, and we share some similarities that have a funny history. As no psychiatry is available in the TES, I made of their multiplicity a subject of wonder. Cyriel for exemple has theories of what happened, explaining with prisms and light theories, Xangr is more of a "We are a triangle" boy - he explains using geometry... But only Sigma-El has the answers. Xangr consideres Sigma-El to be like a mini-god having the power to mold himself in aspects and shapes. Its why Xangr reveres no Divine ; he reveres Sigma-El.

[romanarose]

Do you have any thoughts about the TF boys with a reader with an ED? Only if you’re comfortable, but I noticed in Sunshine Stsrlight Sweetheart Brightside You mesntioned Sam having bulimia so I thought maybe you’d be okay taking about it

Hi!!!!! Yes I would love to give you some thoughts about this. I have suffered from bulimia since I was 17, and I got pretty rough, and like most people with ED I had history of disordered eating before, and with recovery. I hope this is what you're looking for!

Warnings: ed, bulimia, eating restriction, addiction, all that

Triple Frontier Boys with a Reader with an Eating Disorder

Warnings: Eating disorders, more bulimia and general ED focused bc I don't have the experience with anorexia to properly talk about it. I'll try not to get to detailed or triggering.

Santiago "Pope" Garcia

Santi has the least experience with this, I think. I think he'd be confused and probably worry he did something to make you feel like you needed to look different. Had inviting you to the gym with him done it? He had only said that because you mentioned wanting to work on your strength... the girl at the bar, she was flirting, but Santi had turned her down... What did he do? You see the worry on his face and tell him it's not him, it's something you've dealt with for a long time. This, of course, does not make him feel better, it only hurts him that you suffered so long. He'd take over a lot of the cooking, trying to make the most delicious and nutritious meals possible, and of course, anything you wanted to eat that day.

One day, when you quietly confess you don't feel like you deserve to eat that day, you want to cry at how hurt Santi looks. But Santi is practical. You live in Florida, so he suggests you enjoy the weather! He takes you on a nice walk around a few blocks, no phones so you can't count calories from the step tracking, and you can't tell how long you've been gone. Just you and Santi, taking a nice walk. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but it becomes a treasured part of your evening, so much so that you begin to do it every day before diner. If you still feel like you shouldn't eat, Santi coaxes you too take a few bites of some black beans or broccoli, just to get some nutrition, and gives your vitamins before bed. Even if you can barely get anything down, he tells you how proud he is of you, every single day.

Benny Miller

This may not be a popular head canon, but I HC Benny as being a wrestler in high school, and developing bulimia from it. This is likely show up when get to Ben's story in my LaL series (I really put this boy through it) but I think he denies ever having a problem. A bunch of the guys made themselves throw up before getting weighed before matches, what's the big deal? Well, that's terrible, but the big deal is that Benny wasn't just doing it before weigh-in's, he was doing it every day. Even so, when you finally spoke to him about your eating habits, he still didn't get it. He had reasons, his was justified, he rationed. You? You were perfect. You were beautiful in every way. He thought of how painful it was, how gross he felt, how his mind always reeled after, and he couldn't stand the thought of you going through the same thing.

"Why?" was the first thing he said.

It was hard to put into words. Control? Body image? Self-punishment? Maybe all of the above. I think Benny might struggle with this, not blaming you or anything like that, but it just hurt so bad to picture you that way, harming yourself like that. Benny might start off too much and too little. While he has discomfort around discussing it, due to his own unresolved issues, he's not going to just ignore it, although you feel like he is. Things like knocking on the door when you're taking a while in the bathroom. You can tell he's clearly stressed, but he won't talk about it. Eventually you figure out why, maybe he opens up or maybe you have to ask Will what's going on. Either way, he tells you what he went through. After you realize how difficult this was on him, and you two can have open communication, things get better, and you start to get better. It's much easier to talk to someone who relates, and Benny would rather stay up all night talking to you than let you suffer alone.

Will Miller

You don't tell Will. Will confronts you. In my head, Benny had an eating disorder, and of course Will knew, so he recognized the signs. Even if you don't HC Benny with bulimia, I think we all know Will is observant as shit. He'll notice the acne flaring up around your mouth, he'll see your red and bloody knuckles.

Eventually you break down and confess, after he presents the evidence to you. Will is practical, like santi, but more rigidl. He's the kind of guy who feels everything is A+B=C. With Benny, it worked. He convinced Ben to drop wrestling, got him lift weights and into basketball and football, eventually, he got better. They never even addressed it. But everyone is different. Will seems to think if he tells you you're beautiful, helps you eat right, works out with you and worships your body enough during sex, you'll just get better, but that's not it. When he realizes you're still doing it, he's frustrated. Not with you, but with himself. He keeps trying, and trying, and trying different things until you sit him down and spell it out. There isn't a magic cure. it's a battle, a long journey, and you don't need him to fix you, you need him to just be there. And so, he is. Whenever you need him, he's there. Oh, and the calling you beautiful constantly and the body worship? That doesn't stop.

Frankie Morales

Sweet, sweet, Frankie... I think his addiction messed with his eating. While on coke, he might not eat for long periods of time, then binge tf out of junk while detoxing/attempting recovery. This has lead to a lot of weight fluxuation, and bad eating habits (I don't mean this as in food is bad, I mean the inconsistent eating) I think when he finally got better, and he gained weight, he struggled with his own feelings of inadequacy. When he met you, and you loved him so much, every inch of him, he felt a part of him heal. Instead of skipping meals and late-night Taco Bell runs, he thrived on the consistency you gave him, cooking breakfast for you, eating lunch you packed, coming home to cook dinner with you.

So naturally, he worried you were sick when he noticed you eating less and less. You insisted you felt fine "better than ever!" he asked if you were nervous about something and lost your appetite, he even asked if you were pregnant one day. When you explained your history with eating to him, you confessed that you'd been really struggling lately, and apologize for worrying him. His sweet girl, he thinks, always so apologetic, always worried about being a burden. I think Frankie would be way to much at first. You'd never have a moments peace and at first its sweet, but sometimes it's too much. You have to insist on not being babied. Well, not completely anyway. You need to be able to take a piss alone. But if he wants to bring you breakfast in bed, well, you weren't complaining. Frankie makes sure you know how special you are to him, how you are his everything, how you saved him, and in turn, he'll be there for whatever you need.

I hope you liked this anon!! Always happy to talk about my babies

Tagging a few people who might also enjoy @kittyofalltrades @welcometostayingawake @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction and idk if you’ve watched triple frontier @juneknight but from our conversations, I thought you might like this!

[palajae]

this ask might get long so...

i don't know how to thank you and I will always treasure you too, because you are my first friend on this hell site. i've been here since May 2021 and that's so long.

and since then I haven't made friends as I was scared to talk to people online but I grew my guts and started talking to people on anon. and then I learned that you can assign yourself an emoji or a word.

I've been ANON on several blogs but most of them deactivated and some are inactive like totally (they used to come once in a blue moon) so I felt like I had no friends or someone to talk.

then I found you, because I just needed somebody to feel love/friendship with. even I don't know why I texted you and become an anon in the first place. my intuition strongly said "gotta be friends with this marshmallow right here!" my brain thinked in English all of a sudden.

i texted right away and I felt really excited to talk to you, so I was intrigued by your netflix template so I just asked like that and then I thank you too. the next day on 29 Dec 2022, I sent an ask saying I wanna be your anon.

you are literally the sweetest person and you've entered my life at the right time because I felt really down the past few days. I have decided right away to make you, a best friend I would never leave. maybe we could meet irl who knows?

and tysm for believing in me so I will definitely do my best and live up to your word. even you should do well for your exams if they are on the line next. all the best for your exams and prepare jae, stay hydrated and positive.

i was reading your asks and I felt possessive and jealous 😳 idk my maybe because I'm a jealous person. I get jealous easily only when my nearest people are taken by somebody else. Well, you know I'll make you mine 🤪

that was the only part where I used emoji and I am not the type to use emoji. I have a lot to say but I'm afraid it's long and you might get annoyed. I'm the type of person who gets afraid to talk much and some people wronged me for that :( and even for that irl too.

life never treated me right. idk why I am crying but I don't feel better these days, maybe it's because I'm stressed. I hate it because I'm like this and for the mistakes I have committed in the past, I was innocent. I didn't know anything. everyone pointed out at me.

i hate this life jae, I wish to die but that's not the case. even if I die it won't make any difference so I chose not to think bout it anymore. but I wanna tell you this story and its been an year since I've had thoughts like that — suicidal thoughts.

i had them for 3 consecutive days, all the nm3 nights I haven't slept and thought of jumping out from the apartment. I never knew if it would benefit me but I wanted to enjoy my life. I wanna get this off my chest and I wanna tell you about this, the amount of struggles and sadness I've suffered.

maybe I should stop now and I should learn how to live from others. you are only my friend here on tumblr but irl I had only 4 friends and they betrayed me 😭 this is so much to handle. I'm sorry jae.

— 🐈‍⬛

first of all, im glad that you reached out to me and asked to be my friend/anon bc that takes a lot of courage! so thank you and you’re welcome too lol

and regarding depression, it’s such a complex and difficult topic to talk about, esp as someone who also deals with it, but i hope that things work out for you. i personally think if you can, you should talk to someone, whether it be family/friends/therapist as i am definitely not someone professional trained or anyone nearly as close to being one haha. what i will say though is that i know it’s hard but you are not alone. reach out to anyone you know personally or find any resources that you think would be helpful. that’s all i can do as of now as someone you know through the screen :)

[xo-cuteplosion-xo]

hello its me atsushi can i please request chuuya, dazai and yosano separately with a gn s/o who like flinches whenever someone raises their hand im sorry if this is like too much but its a t hing i do bc trauma ig? im sorry am i doing this right- ALSO if you cant thats fine just make sure you take care of yourself bc you deserve the world 💜💜💜 -atsushi

Hope you don’t mind that I’ve put this into HC/drabble form! (I did try to write in one-shot form, but that was not going to work. So please excuse the lack of detail into the reason and things being slightly brushed off and undetailed)

Falls into comfort.

Words: 999

Enjoy!

Comfort for a reader who flinches whenever someone raises their hand| |Chuuya/Dazai/Yosano x Reader|

~Chuuya~ (319 words)

Chuuya had always been loud, his natural deflect for his height. He’d been with them, his s/o for a few years now. He’s always been careful with them. It was an instinct to handle the things he cared for delicately. It didn’t matter how strong they were, he just felt the need to be careful. It was out of character for his temper to control him around his s/o. He’d noticed tiny flinches when he reached over them, but he’d never thought much of it. People often retracted from him. He didn’t mind, but he’d never seen the fear so bad in a flinch before.

It had been a rough week, with so much going wrong Chuuya was past his limit.

He always kept the reins tightly held around you, but tonight he didn’t realize you were off-set, different, less approachable.

He’d summed it up to caution or your own stress.

He’d never thought it would be a trauma reaction.

It’s common for people who’ve gone through such things to go into a cautious state they don’t notice.

The tightness of your movements, the somewhat distant look.

He’d only reached out to you.

Yes, his expression was slightly aggressive, more than usual when he’s around you.

Yet he hadn’t expected you to flinch back so much.

He’d instantly retracted his hand and stared at you before his pride tried to wiggle around.

He wanted to shout but instead took the time to shove away his temper.

“Y/n, are you afraid of me?”

An honest question.

If you shake your head he stands there for a while until he makes the connection and balls his hands into fists.

“Who?”

A one-word question that asked many more questions.

There was always a reason, and he’d get that reason.

If you tell him it’s nothing he’ll let it go for the moment.

He’ll then offer you sweets and cuddles.

~Dazai~ (338 words)

Dazai would watch them from far off. There were few moments in time when his eyes were not on Y/n. They were his world, his only reason to keep going. Of course, there were certain things he’d love to do with them. Such as a double suicide. He, however, knew he wanted to see them live, and if that meant he had to go on so be it. Yet, he also hated seeing them in constant suffering, or at least, to him it appeared like that. Even if others didn’t notice the small jerks their body made he did. It drove him insane not understanding why. It was clearly trauma-related. That was the only conclusion his mind would come to. Today he sat with them at the table after a rough day.

You looked tired like you hadn’t slept well in a while.

“Something bothering you?”

Dazai was always pestering you with questions. Trying to get you to open up.

When you insist you’re alright he pecks your cheek and stands.

A little while later when he returns with a glass of water he sets it down and reaches.

The second your body moves away he drops his hand.

“You’re afraid.'' He knew it didn’t mean you were necessarily afraid of him.

Yet, it still hurt because you knew just how shitty a person he had been.

He says nothing after that. He’s waiting for you.

When you do reach for him he wraps his arms around you. He’s slow as to not startle you.

He runs his hands through your hair and snuggles his head into the crook of your neck.

On a reflex, he began telling you how much he loves you. He tells you, you're safe. He keeps you in his arms until you’re completely relaxed.

Even then he does not break away from you. His fingers trace along your back as he carries you to the bedroom for cuddles.

He’s not letting you go until he’s forced to work by Kunikida’s obnoxious calls.

~Yosano~ (342 words)

Yosano would observe her s/o for a while. When they flinch she’d make a mental note. When they reserve themselves to privacy, she notes it. She’s always been like this. She was worried from two perspectives, as a doctor, and as their s/o. She knew the signs of what she was seeing. She knew what it was that she was seeing. She knew how to deal with physical injuries, but dealing with mental injuries was a whole other league. Eventually, she decided to help and offer comfort.

She waited for you, a glass of champagne open.

She sipped on it as she read over her notes.

When you walked through the door she waved you over.

Sliding you a glass she started a light chatter.

She waited until you were relaxed to ask if you were doing alright.

She didn't exactly know where to start this conversation.

She’d ask if there was anything you wanted to tell her.

If you tell her there isn’t anything she may sigh and take a few more sips of her drink before tapping her pen on the counter.

“Dearest, I’ve noticed a few things lately. I just want to make sure that you’re doing alright.”

If you still don’t open up she’ll accept defeat and offer you a small kiss before she goes to shower and get ready for the night.

If one night she makes the small mistake of raising her hand towards you she’ll instantly back up and curse herself.

Her first instinct is to give you space.

If you hardly noticed your own reaction, because it’s almost normal to you now, she’s confused.

If you reach for her she’ll offer her body to be used for comfort.

Whether it’s clinging to her, hugging each other, or walking off to snuggle in each other's company, she’s ready to listen.

If you decide to explain she’s quick to hide her displeasure in what caused this.

If you don’t want to tell her she offers comfort with words, whispering how you’re safe with her.

[leviiattacks]

Hi, you're a very talented writer and your works are very beautiful. Can I request one where Levi's fem s/o does the ignore your boyfriend prank? Thank you so much and take care of yourself ❤️

author note :: thank youuu i’m glad you think that anon !! this isn’t good at all bc i’m just very sick and yeah,,, i’m sorry if this doesn’t live up to your expectations but i needed something to do and ended up finishing this. hmmm what is this is it fluff?? idk it’s captain levi and survey corps member reader though :-) requests are open so feel free to drop by if you’d like :D word count :: 3.4k 

you should NOT be bothering levi as much as you are because he understands you need your own space to relax sometimes

but come on... you’ve been ignoring him for an unreasonable amount of time now??

and he’s not talking about groggy ignoring, it’s not the type you do when you’ve just awoken from a restless night’s sleep

no. you’re talking to everyone apart from him.

and it’s driving him up a literal wall

did he do something wrong???

has he made a mistake so large that you’re too scared to bring it up???

are you finally sick of him??

will you break up with him?

levi winces when thinking of that specific question

but he’s the type to silently keep his worries to himself as soon as he sees any indication of a bad omen

currently, he’s mentally preparing himself for you to break the news to him any day now

but little does he know you’ve just pulled a prank hoping for him to whine and complain a little

the point of this all is to elicit an out of character reaction

;-)

the idea came from historia at first

her playing such a foul trick on ymir didn’t go unnoticed and little by little ymir’s resolve crumbled away throughout the day

she went quite literally ballistic trying to get historia’s attention

and watching it all play out made you want to try it out with levi

you’d be a FOOL not to

WELL!!!! the fun part about this is that you’re a bit actually, no. a lot, more stubborn than historia!!!

and instead of committing to the prank for a day you’ve chosen to see how far you can stretch this out

if you have to drag it out for two days so be it

you have good reason to

levi isn’t the most affectionate man, your relationship is kept a total secret from all of the cadets

meaning pda never happens

and,,, listen you would love to kiss him before expeditions without having to drag him behind your horse for cover

to be frank the back of a horse does smell rather unpleasant and it’s not as romantic as you’d like for it to be

honestly you’d rather have everyone stare and gawk in awe watching the two of you make out

seeing them put two and two together realizing what it is that’s going on between you and the captain would be hilarious

especially since reiner said last week he could never picture levi dating anyone

AND!! he even had the audacity to say he thinks someone like him would never date someone on the team

is it really not that obvious to them?

do you and levi lack chemistry?

silently fuming you walk away and even then none of the cadets get the hint

but you do think mikasa has known for a while. her senses are sharp and whenever she sees you and levi together she makes a u-turn heading in the opposite direction away from the both of you

but even if she does she isn’t going to tell anyone about it unless she’s directly asked so it’s not like the cat will be out of the bag any time soon

it’s silly getting worked up over reiner’s comments but it’s kinda disheartening having the relationship be kept a secret

and you thought even if it was there would be at least a hint of a rumour, like it should be decently obvious it’s been months since the two of you began to see each other

ESSENTIALLY, this is your plan to “accidentally” let the cadets figure it out

eventually levi will have to get restless enough to do something bold

that’s what you think will happen

but then the reality of the situation hits you at the end of the first day

he seems to be dealing with it just fine ?????

after giving him the cold shoulder he shows no signs of returning at all

...

WHY IS IT NOT WORKING???

mayday mayday mayday....?!??

red alert....?!??

you are about to bang your head against a wall he’s the one who’s meant to be suffering over this not you

but again, you’re stubborn and won’t give in easily

by the end of day one levi has approached you two times

two...

each time you’ve given him completely blunt responses

it’s frustrating you that he’s just dealing with it as it comes

and when he does speak to you it’s not to ask what’s wrong

the first time he approaches you is to ask if you’ve seen petra around which makes your blood boil a little because everyone knows petra has a big, fat, MASSIVE crush on him

you know he won’t ever reciprocate or anything for a number of reasons but you can’t help but feel annoyed

the second time he speaks to you is to ask if you’re willing to help hange out with some paperwork

??????

he doesn’t even look interested in asking you what’s wrong

honestly you would drop this plan but you’re in too deep now

may as well keep it up.

the second day rolls around and it’s not your best day

you burn breakfast

trip over a broom and hit your leg rather hard against the dining table

spill an ENTIRE cup of tea over hange’s important documents

and you haven’t slept a wink after overthinking your relationship status for hours on end

maybe this prank wasn’t a great idea

you’re hunched over the documents close to tears not knowing how you can save them now

there’s nothing you can do and even though you know hange will be okay with it, (they’ve never cared much for paperwork) you just don’t want to inconvenience them with this mess

“y/n?”

looking up you see eren standing by the doorway of the kitchen watching with a humored expression as you place paper towels over the disaster you’ve created

“captain’s looking for you.”

perking up a little internally you make sure to remain as disinterested as possible on the surface

“what does he need?”

“i don’t know he didn’t say.”

“tell him i’m busy.”

and that’s all that occurs during day two

you pass by levi and occasionally his gaze flicks to you but he doesn’t take any action to address you in public or in private

you end up going to bed even more disappointed than you were the first night

the prank definitely isn’t going the way you want and instead of it leading to levi cornering you in front of everyone and dipping you into a dreamy swoon worthy kiss it’s led to you developing doubts.

many doubts.

but you aren’t giving up any time soon, now more than ever you want to be reassured levi even wants this relationship because he’s not acting like it

it’s admittedly a bitch move on your part for pulling this prank in the first place but you expected him to ask how you were doing it has been forty-eight hours after all

if the roles were reversed you’d force him into a room until he would tell you

so you can’t explain his weird behaviour at all

maybe he doesn’t like you as much as you think

that thought makes your eyes sting at the corners

he’s always been reserved and a little lost when it comes to opening up but you’re beginning to lose hope if he finds it this hard to ask if you’re okay

drifting off to sleep before you can wallow in your thoughts any more you wish tomorrow is better

it’s the third day and to say you’re exhausted is an understatement

midday and you’re training in the sweltering heat

the lack of sleep you’ve had recently paired with your stress isn’t doing you any good

a little dizzy you attempt to hold onto a nearby tree for stability but end up somehow missing the mark by a MILE??

tumbling to the floor painfully you hiss at the collision and rub the back of your head which is now sore

footsteps approach you in a hurry and for the first time in days you’re face to face with levi

“you okay?” concern is very much evident in his voice and that eases your nerves

without you even responding he’s turning you around just to check in case

nodding wordlessly you try to get to your feet when you feel a shift.

your ankle without warning gives out on you and you’re sent crashing back down to the ground

closing your eyes and bracing for impact you’re pleasantly surprised when levi catches you by the waist

your weight is leaning onto him and you’re looking down to the floor

hange is yelling from across the courtyard telling levi to drop you off at the infirmary but he doesn’t need to be told that

his instincts do the talking for him and he’s already slung you over his shoulder and begins carrying you towards the base

“levi. put. me. down. this position’s embarrassing.”

he doesn’t respond and you can hear sasha and connie cackling at the compromising situation

swatting his back you’re huffing and puffing yet he’s still ignoring you

you’re being given the silent treatment but you suppose you do deserve it

sighing you deal with the stares you receive on the way there

this is levi and at this point nothing is seen as abnormal when he does it

you can’t really look behind you to see levi’s expression either but when a cadet walks past and mouths “y/n, what the hell did you do??” you know you’re in for it

eventually he reaches the infirmary and without even letting you get a word in he plops you onto the bed albeit a little rough

“what’s with the cold shoulder?” he places both his arms by your sides leaving you trapped

“i-”

“if you want to break up you can just say that instead of beating around the bush.”

you’re stunned by the harsh tone of his voice, he doesn’t have his usual soft timbre and your eyes glaze over in defense

“you want to break up?” your question hangs in the air

chewing at your lip anxiously you know if you bite any harder you’ll draw blood

“i don’t care. if that’s what you want, sure.”

oh.

oh no.

this isn’t going how you planned

nails digging into the flesh of your palms you hang your head low

he doesn’t care at all

if that’s what you want????? really???? that’s his response??? he won’t even fight for you???

it’s silent as he bandages your ankle and you’re burning in a mix of embarrassment and fury.

“i was just pull-” choking up in the middle of your sentence you feel yourself automatically frown

“i was just pulling a prank on you. you know how historia did with ym-“

really you’ve always been terrible at holding back your tears and a few spill over the edge and you sob

why are you like this why why why why why?????

yeah,, you get why everyone calls you overly emotional from time to time but really you swear you feel your heart shatter a little at how levi’s acting

shielding your eyes with your sleeve you cower away from him

lord have mercy.

levi wants to curl up into a ball and die from the wave of embarrassment that hits him

a prank.

a trick.

and he didn’t catch on.

and now you’re crying.

because he thought acting tough and cold in case you wanted to break up with him made perfectly logical sense???

spoiler : it didn’t make any sense...

but now it’s made him look like he hates you??

but he doesn’t hate you

no, no, no. not at all.

he could never hate you.

you’re always willing to help anyone out, you’re genuine, always say sorry even when you don’t need to, unapologetically yourself at any moment, you’re fearful yet push it all aside to be courageous and most of all he loves your little hobbies because who in their right mind actually enjoys gardening??

he’s convinced people who say they like gardening are looking for something unique to make themselves stand out but really you enjoy it and it’s quite cute

ok, ok no more getting side tracked whilst talking about your love for plants

he could name so much more he admires about you but he’d be here all day

“i tried to talk to you yesterday but after you refused i thought you hated me and wanted to break up. that’s why i was acting like that just now.” he slowly tries to explain his point to you

“i know i’m hard to love so when you began to ignore me out of the blue i figured you didn’t want to-”

cutting him off without giving him the option of finishing his sentence you’re wide eyed in horror. he was NOT meant to interpret the prank this way.

“levi?? for as long as i’m alive i’ll never get tired of you. i promise.” his heart rate shoots and the intense magnetism between the two of you becomes stronger by the second

you pause for a second gathering yourself.

“and i’m sorry i should’ve thought about how you’d feel. the reason i did it was stupid.”

levi kneels by the bed and takes your hand in his, he graciously lifts the sleeve of your uniform and ducks down to press a soft kiss onto your wrist.

your heart flutters seeing him be so careful and gentle with you and bashfully you look away

guilt overwhelms you at that moment because you really are horrible for putting him through all of that.

levi cares for you he does

he may be silent about it and not the best at being public with it but you know how he feels.

you feel it in the way he looks at you

you feel it when he helps you mount your horse

you feel it when he double checks your harnesses before expeditions

you feel it when he tends to your injuries

and, you definitely feel it right now when it sinks in that he was acting like he hated you just so you wouldn’t feel bad if you really did want to break up with him.

he’s always been bad at picking up on hints and cues so you now understand why he interpreted it as you wanting nothing to do with him

of course he wouldn’t ask how you were if it looked like you wanted to skin him alive

“what was the reason for the prank?” he inquisitively asks genuinely wanting to know what it is he can do for you

“i...” you’re wandering off and suddenly don’t want to tell him

“i wanted you to kiss me.” you whisper in a rush

he cocks an eyebrow up even more lost. “i kiss you all the time?”

“i mean, in front of everyone else.”

he blinks and his mouth forms into an “O” shape

it’s a little awkward now

he doesn’t bring it up again so you assume he doesn’t like the idea of letting everyone know just yet

and that’s okay!! you respect that!!

after all, you can’t get mad at him for it, it’s the best choice.

you don’t want people to accuse him of having bias towards you and it’ll probably upset petra and hinder her performance if her crush just suddenly starts dating out of nowhere

your gaze is back on levi and he’s now double checking the bandage on your ankle after tending to it

“you can’t walk for a few weeks.” he tsks

“be careful next time.” he’s always been blunt when he does show he cares and you warmly smile after not talking to him in days.

you feel the need to apologize again

“to make it clear i really am sorry, i should have thought more about you.”

he scoffs and rolls his eyes

“i’m overjoyed that my beautiful girlfriend doesn’t want to break up with me. now, stop moping around about it i’m over it.”

he scoops you up effortlessly and you wrap your arms around his neck.

“y/n, for the record, i’ll work on not jumping to the worst case scenario first.”

you love this aspect of your relationship

being able to understand how your flaws impact the other and choosing to make changes or adjustments

it’s sweet and you must be smiling like an idiot when thinking of it because levi blows a puff of air onto your forehead knocking you out of your daydream

feeling a little less light headed than before you notice he’s walking back out towards the courtyard

why is he doing that...?

“you’re walking in the wrong direction?”

“no i’m not.” he replies with a smug grin

oh my god

no he isn’t

oh my god

is he???

you’re bright pink in the face as you turn to look at him panicking when you hear hange’s group returning

eren can be heard arguing with jean as per usual and now you’re smacking levi’s chest even harder

“you don’t have to do this no, no, no. it’s okay really.” it’s funny how you’re begging him not to do what you’ve been waiting on for three days

but you really don’t want him to feel like he has to do this

as if he’s read your mind he replies. “i’m doing this with my own free will.”

he gives you one last grin and pushes you up against the wall, your back is against the cold yet solid surface and you tense up

oh god. it’s happening he’s diving down and it’s as if everything is moving in slow motion.

gradually you feel the familiar feeling of your heart jumping out of your chest

both of your lips mould together, he’s hoisting you up again preventing you from slipping away. hungry hands grip at your thighs and a knowing smile twitches across his mouth.

nipping at his bottom lip he groans and you nearly forget why it is he’s kissing you

that is until you hear a SCREAM from your right

“eren what the fuck are you yelling at?” jean’s voice can be heard scowling in the distance but you’re too distracted by levi’s mouth to care

eren must be speechless because nothing is heard until jean reaches the scene

“OH. MY. GOD.”

“WHERE IS REINER??? HE’S NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS.”

“you’re both overreacting.” mikasa makes her appearance and you’re not sure if she’s seen you and levi yet because your eyes fluttered shut long ago

“Y/N AND THE CAPTAIN????? WHY ARE YOU JUST STANDING THERE MIKASA??” eren’s voice sounds so distressed you guess you’re right for assuming he may have had a crush on you at some point

“it was obvious, i don’t know how no one else knew.”

finally levi pulls away and you’re panting practically gasping for any traces of air

“what you looking at brats?” levi snaps in their direction and mikasa nonchalantly shrugs and walks away

jean and eren however, dash away at LIGHTENING speed probably on their way to let everyone else know of the shocking new development

levi pecks your forehead and you nudge your nose against his.

since that day you and levi have been able to get away with a lot more pda

you can hold his hand and stare at how pretty your hands look laced together

you can nuzzle your face into his neck without any questions 

you can loop arms with him and even if he acts like he doesn’t enjoy it he genuinely does like walking around with you latching onto his bicep

although he still prefers the privacy of his office he’s more than happy to give in once in a while

and at the end of the day you’re ecstatic because there’s no more kissing behind your horse!!!

GONE ARE THOSE DAYS

wooHOO

honestly, you’re over the moon about it 

and so is levi

:-)

[yslkook]

BRIGHT (2)

mind of mine masterlist

summary: you and jungkook share a moment in a bookstore. pairing: “badboy” jk x “shy/reserved” oc warnings: cursing, excessive use of pet names…bc its me

“Oh, lighten up Jeon,” Yoongi rolls his eyes, “You look like someone told you that your cat died.”

“The only kitty he wants won’t give him the time of day,” Mina grins, earning herself a glare from Jungkook.

“More like I can't get her time of day because her stupid best friend has a stick up her ass,” Jungkook mutters.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this,” Mei observes, “Our baby tattoo artist pining over a girl…”

“If looks could kill, you’d be dead by now, Mei,” Yoongi says pointedly, “Now stop wasting time meddling in Jungkook’s love life, Jin will have all of our heads-”

“Love life? I don’t have a love life,” Jungkook protests, eyes adorably round.

“And that’s why you’re so broody today, honey,” Mina teases, “More so than usual at least.”

“I am not broody,” Jungkook grumbles, turning his back on his laughing coworkers and friends. He can’t help but smile at their teasing.

“Oh, lighten up, Kookie,” Mei says lightly, clapping his shoulder, “If it makes you feel any better, that girl couldn’t stop staring at you at Hobi’s birthday. And she definitely wants a piece of this.”

Jungkook ignores the raucous laughter of his friends (which only increases when Jin comes out from the backroom to add on to his suffering) and the reddening of his cheeks as he gets ready for his full day of tattoo consultations and appointments.

Jungkook’s day ends about an hour earlier than he had anticipated- his last client for the day had to reschedule due to a last minute conflict. That’s fine by him. It gives him time to stop by the bookstore a few blocks away from the tattoo parlor before it closes.

Jungkook tries his best to read at least one new book a month. He’s known the older shop owner, Jia and her young son, Jae-sung, for years now, as he had basically grown up with Jia from childhood.

He loves the quiet of the store and the immediate scent of vanilla and cedar that surrounds him as soon as he walks in. The bookstore itself has a vintage sort of feel, with dimmed lights, old shelves of mahogany and candles placed throughout the store.

Jungkook always brings croissants from the bakery nearby for Jia and little Jae-sung. Usually when he comes by, the bookstore is empty (or close to it).

Jae-sung screeches when he sees Jungkook walk in the door and immediately runs up to him, hugging his legs. Jungkook crouches, ruffling his hair fondly and Jae-sung is nearly bouncing off of the heels of his feet.

“Mommy say she have new book for you, Kookie!” Jae-sung beams, eyeing the box of croissants in Jungkook’s free hand.

“Does she?” Jungkook muses, “Your mommy always knows what kind of books I like.”

“Me too! Me too!”

“Hey, Jungkook,” Jia’s voice filters through the store as she approaches, “It’s been a while.”

“It took me a while to finish the last book. But so worth it,” He says apologetically, “I also brought croissants. Enjoy.”

“You spoil us,” Jia rolls her eyes, “The new arrivals are in the back, third aisle from the left. You know the drill.”

Jia has known Jungkook since he was a baby in diapers- she’s been his aunt’s close friend for years and years now. Jungkook likes to joke that he likes Jia more than his own aunt, and Jia always reprimands him (without really meaning it).

He thought the bookstore was empty, save for Jia and Jae-sung. But he’s clearly mistaken, when he sees a figure in an olive green sweater and black jeans perusing through the new arrivals with their bottom lip tucked between their teeth in concentration.

He recognizes them immediately and when the person raises their head in curiosity, he sees your wide eyes and a shy smile starting to pull across your lips.

You’re here, in his favorite bookstore where he feels like he’s at home. If he was looking for a sign, then this was it.

“Hi,” You say softly, waving your fingers at him, “So you like reading, huh?”

You visibly cringe and Jungkook chuckles. Your cheeks feel warm when you take him in, swirls and dots of his tattoos peeking out of his black leather jacket and beckoning you closer to him. The three hoops in his left ear glint with the light and the dangling earring on his right ear dangles with the movement of his head. His hair is tied back into a ponytail, accentuating the curve of his jaw and his soft dimples.

Your breath is stolen away when you meet his eyes, deep brown and murky, popping against the peach eyeshadow on his eyelids.

You nearly swoon on the spot before you get your bearings. Maybe he’d catch you if your knees buckled, you think dryly. How embarrassing.

“I try reading something new once a month,” Jungkook replies, pulling you out of your reverie, “And I just like the bookstore in general. Sometimes I like to just come here and hang out with Jia and Jae-sung.”

“Oh! Jia makes my favorite lavender chamomile tea. There’s nothing like it,” You say a little dreamily, “Jae-sung is a cutie. That boy can just look at you and you’d be putty in his hands. Kinda like you.”

The last bit slips out of your mouth without you meaning for it to.

“Kinda like me, huh,” Jungkook smirks, eyes glittering, “It would be fun to see if you’d be putty in my hands, wouldn’t it?”

“The world may never know,” You mumble sheepishly and avoid his eyes again, “What kind of book are you looking for?”

“The one you’re holding, baby,” Jungkook murmurs, looking past your shoulder for another copy of the same book.

“Are you looking for this book just because I’m reading it or because you’ve been genuinely eyeing it?” You ask boldly, a hint of a smile playing on your lips.

“Oh, you’re funny,” Jungkook snorts, walking past you to grab the book off of the shelf.

“So I’ve been told,” Your eyes flash, “We should do a boozy book club.”

“Is it a book club if it’s just the two of us?”

“It can be whatever we want it to be,” You shrug, “Besides, don’t you wanna hang out with me?” You tilt your head and Jungkook’s resolve weakens. His heart does something funny- is this how it’s supposed to be?

“Of course I wanna hang out with you, baby,” Jungkook murmurs smoothly, “C’mon, let’s go have some of Jia’s tea. And a croissant too, if Jae hasn’t eaten them already.”

Jungkook glares at Jia the entire time that she’s making tea for both of you. He knows her sly, curious eyes and was unable to keep the surprise off of her face when you had both walked down the stairs together.

She even had the audacity to wink at him. He hopes that the family groupchat doesn’t start blowing up when Jia inevitably informs his aunt and mother about this new development.

“Kookie,” Jae-sung whispers (loudly) when you step away to use the bathroom, “Is dat your girlfriend?”

“What?” Jungkook hisses, “Who told you that?”

“My mommy say I ask you! I not know!”

“No, Jae, that’s not my girlfriend,” Jungkook mumbles, shooting Jia another death glare. She only smiles smugly at him from her spot behind the counter.

Jia leaves him alone for the most part when you return and take your seat next to him. He can still feel her eyes on you both as she washes teacups, watching like a hawk.

“These croissants are so good,” You nearly moan, “Where’d you get them?”

“There’s a bakery near the tattoo parlor,” Jungkook says, “You should come by sometime.”

“The bakery or the parlor?”

“Both?”

“I’ve only been there a few times,” You muse, “I hear you’re the best tattoo artist there. From the mouth of Hobi and Jin themselves.”

“Don’t let Mina and Mei hear you say that,” Jungkook says weakly, rubbing the back of his neck. His cheeks are a little pink and you resist chuckling to yourself.

“I’ve always wanted to get a second piercing,” You trail off, “But never really committed to it.”

“What would you want to get? We do piercings, too,” Jungkook says.

“Cartilage? Industrial? I don’t know,” You shrug, sipping your tea.

“Mina usually has a good eye for that,” Jungkook admits, “Now you have more of a reason to stop by.”

“Oh, I already had a reason to stop by the parlor,” You say brazenly with a sweet smile.

“Is that so?” Jungkook says, quirking an eyebrow at you.

You hum and continue to sip your tea, wondering if he can somehow hear the loud rattling of your eager heart in your ribcage.

Conversation with him comes so easily and you don’t know when the last time you had spent this long with him was. Something always seems to interrupt you both when you eventually do find yourselves alone with each other during outings with friends. But this time, it’s just you and him tucked away in this bookstore.

The sun has long gone down and Jia was about to close the bookstore for the day. In fact, the only reason she kept it open for this long was because of you both. You apologize profusely with worried eyes when you realize the time and see Jae-sung fast asleep in his mother’s arms.

She waves you off, giving Jungkook a lingering look that you don’t understand.

“I’ll be back soon,” You promise Jia in a soft voice, so as to not wake Jae-sung, “Be well, Jia.”

She bids you both goodnight, and unbeknownst to you, she shoots Jungkook a simple text. It states: “keep her close, i like her”.

Jungkook ignores it in favor of focusing on you.

“How you getting home, baby?” Jungkook asks as you both walk up the block shoulder to shoulder.

“Hmm… I’m supposed to meet Sora for dinner but she said she’s stuck at work,” You murmur, wrapping your arms around yourself as you scroll on your phone, “But I was just on social media and it looks like she’s getting drinks with her other friends…”

You look at him with a frown tugging at your lips and your eyes wide. “Maybe it was a last minute thing,” You mumble to yourself.

“Or maybe she lied to you,” Jungkook says sharply. You only look at him in silence for a few moments with furrowed brows.

“Maybe there was a reason,” You shrug, “Why would she lie about that?”

Because she’s Sora, and she just would. But Jungkook stays silent. You don’t need to hear about how he dislikes your best friend, at least not yet. Not when you’re not ready to hear it.

“Forget about her,” Jungkook says easily, “Lemme take you home, baby.”

“I’m not riding that metal death contraption,” You say flatly, “You just got it! Like two weeks ago! You don’t even have an extra helmet, and forget a helmet, I need elbow pads and knee pads-”

“Will you relax,” Jungkook says, putting your books in the small basket he built into the front of the motorcycle.

“No, I will not relax, Jeon Jungkook!” You nearly screech, “This is so dangerous, we could both fall in the road and then what? Become roadkill for the next soccer mom van to run us both over? Death by soccer mom, what a way to go-”

“Are you done?” Jungkook says dryly.

“No, actually, I’m not done-”

“You trust me, baby?” Jungkook asks, hand on your shoulder. You can’t even properly appreciate the warmth of his large hand over your jacket.

“Of course I trust you, I don’t trust that,” You point at the motorcycle accusingly and Jungkook rolls his eyes. You can already feel your resolve weakening. He wordlessly places his own helmet over your own head and you glare at him, about to start your tirade again.

“You take mine,” Jungkook murmurs, “And hold on to me.”

“You can’t just give me your helmet, what if you fall? Or worse, get pulled over?”

“Or worse, get pulled over, are you joking-”

“Jungkook! Be serious!”

“I am being serious! You said you only live ten minutes from here, just relax. I won’t let anything happen to either of us,” Jungkook says, tongue poking the inside of his cheek.

“If anything happens, it’s your head on a platter and I’m bringing it to the tattoo parlor.”

“How can you do that if we both die?”

“Shut the fuck up,” You say, but a laugh escapes your lips. Jungkook sits on his bike and looks at you expectantly.

“C’mon, baby,” Jungkook coaxes you and you awkwardly sit behind him, making sure that your legs don’t touch his and your arms are safely away from him.

“If you sit like that, you’ll definitely fall off,” Jungkook snorts, “Wrap your arms around me.”

You hesitate, afraid of touching him like this for whatever reason. He unnerves you and you feel completely exposed like this. You’ve never really been this close to anyone, at least anyone who made you feel the way Jungkook makes you feel.

Biting the bullet, you tensely wrap your arms around his narrow waist loosely. “Good girl,” Jungkook murmurs, “Tighter, baby. I don’t bite, unless you want me to.”

Your stomach flips at his words, subconsciously wrapping your arms around his narrow waist even more tightly. Your fingers graze the hard press of his tummy over his jacket and you almost moan at how warm and strong he feels. He smells nice, like Sunday morning laundry.

“Ugh, you’re annoying-” And then you shriek as he pulls away from the road and shoots off into the night with you plastered against his backside.

“See that wasn’t so bad, was it?” Jungkook says, taking the helmet off of you. He’s met with a glare but you sigh in defeat.

“No, I guess it wasn’t. But I never want you driving this hunk of death without a helmet for yourself,” You say, poking his chest.

“You should be nicer to her,” Jungkook says, taking your finger in his large hand.

“You’re right, it’s you that I should be mean to,” You roll your eyes. You wonder if Jungkook could feel your heart slamming in your chest (in fear, adrenaline and excitement) as you hung tight to him. You had refused to look up, pressing your face into his back and squeezing your eyes shut the entire way. Jungkook had only chuckled.

The heat in your eyes melts away quickly once Jungkook helps you off of the motorcycle. “Thanks for taking me home, Jungkook,” You murmur, “I’m glad I ran into you at the bookstore.”

“Any time, baby,” Jungkook says. A strand of dark hair falls from his ponytail and into his face. You reach your fingers up to thread through his hair before pushing it back behind his ear for him.

“Get home safe,” You say, with stars in your eyes, “Can I hug you?” When he nods, and before you can change your mind or convince yourself out of it, you wrap your arms around him. And before he can properly return it, you dash into your apartment building while calling out “text me when you get home!”

Hours later, when he’s in the comfort of his home, he decides that he likes the way your spicy vanilla scented perfume clings to his leather jacket.

tags: @kookdbean @tiemeuptogoldenchains @boymeetsparadise @jungkooksseuphoria

[tartagilicious]

sun and moon > xiao

happy (late-ish) valentine’s day yall! thank you, mihoyo, for once again reminding me that i’m easily attached to emotionally unavailable pretty boys. the "I hate everyone but you" trope is real here, I wanna be his friend and gain his trust like this is a mf otome game. to anyone still pulling for him, good luck~ don’t worry, you have a little bit more time and more free rewards are also on the way!! have some soft xiao for good luck >:D // w.c 1.9k // not a request 

also a big ty to @seerie​ for being my beta reader, bc I don’t know what I’m doing 🥴

summer sky by asking for a friend

You hiss softly as Xiao runs a damp cloth over the gash adorning the length of your cheekbone, face scrunching as his eyes narrow in concentration. It feels somehow wrong to have him taking care of you, much less sitting in front of you and dressing your wounds himself.

A majority of the bleeding had stopped not long ago, but there's still another fear that plagues you more -- your agreement with the yaksha adeptus, or rather contract, specifically trying to combat injuries on your behalf.

You aren’t sure if chickening out on calling him in the midst of the situation you were hurt is grounds for breaking the contract somehow, though either way, Xiao has always seemed to be quite serious regarding his promises. You remember his first and only instructions to you weeks ago being clear and concise,

“If you awake to a knife at your throat, if monsters dig their claws into you, if death comes knocking at your door, call out my name; adeptus Xiao. I will be here when you call.”

Surely a small wound like this wasn’t serious enough?

Xiao pulls the fabric away from your face and silently notes what must be the mess of blood covering it, lips turning up in a grimace. His standards of emergency are usually as one would expect, though lately for whatever reason, even the smallest of your wounds tend to put him in a bad mood.

From such a standoffish person, it’s a bit hard to get used to or understand -- but a part of you is only happy to know that there’s a chance he might care more than he lets on.

“...The abyss mages, they just came out of nowhere,” You try to explain but the silence is deafening. Eyes downcast to the stool beneath your legs, you mumble, “It’s not that big of a deal.”

Xiao doesn’t give any more of a reaction than an arched brow and a slight gesture with the gruesomely dyed cloth. You half expect him to be irritated; to give you a lecture on keeping an eye on your surroundings or to take better care of yourself, but he doesn’t. Instead, he looks away and shakes his head, spiking your nerves with a low sigh.

He looks back at you as he rests his elbow on his knee and thrusts out the cloth again, almost in exasperation. “Why didn’t you call my name?”

You feel the blood drain from your face as the words leave his mouth, and suddenly, you’re terrified to answer honestly. As already long-established, Xiao is someone who despite thousands of years of trauma, remains as hard as the rock of the nation he watches over. Compared to his lifespan, you’re relatively immature, so the last thing you want is to give an embarrassing reason to make him think that you suddenly don’t trust him enough to help.

“I-I don’t know,” You stutter and curse pitifully inside your head as you return his eye contact. “But I can’t just call you every time I’m in trouble, especially when I think I can deal with it myself, right?”

He scoffs as if you’ve just said the most ridiculous thing.

“This shouldn’t have to be a discussion. Your capabilities don’t lack anything, but your hesitation may very well be the death of you.”

“I never hesitated,” Though your voice is more steadfast, any illusion of confidence is shattered by the way you fidget with your hands. “I only misjudged. I make mistakes sometimes, but I think you forget that I’ll heal even after the worst of these injuries.”

Xiao sighs and crumples the bloodstained cloth in the palm of his hand, caging himself in his arms before speaking again -- just as he always does.

“Don’t be outrageous, I haven’t forgotten anything.” He averts his gaze and for a moment, you swear that you notice the tips of his ears flush. “It’s only ignorant to assume that I want to see you injured.”

Your brows knit as a similar knot slides down your throat. “I just, I just don’t get why you’re so worried about it.”

He stares at you, once again, as if you’ve just said something completely outlandish -- as if it wasn’t as hard to tell what he was thinking beneath such a guarded personality as you made it out to be.

“What?” You ask, slightly exasperated as you sit up straighter. You had still been sitting as if he were cleaning your wounds. “Is that not a valid question? It seems like you want nothing to do with anyone, but then turn around and worry when I’m hurt?”

“How could you do that and still not know why I hesitate to call for you?” Exasperated, you exhale and shut your eyes for a moment, deliberately avoid seeing his reaction to these words.

“...All I mean, is that sometimes it’s hard to tell what you’re thinking -- I feel like I’m bothering you, even if it might be in a situation where I really do need you.”

For a moment, Xiao is blatantly surprised by your reason for not upholding the contract you’d made. It almost gives you the impression that in your spiel, you’ve said something completely idiotic. A gradual flush of embarrassment flares up beneath your skin, but thankfully, you contain yourself before you have the chance to blurt out anything you’d regret.

His lips twist ever so slightly, as if he’s combing through things to respond with in his head. Obviously a bit flustered to hear your reasoning, it’s odd to see him in such a way, albeit while somehow remaining so uniquely him

“You… really are incomprehensible.”

Turning his head to shield his expression, he discards the cloth by tossing it in a nearby basket and stands. Your eyes follow him up until his own turn back towards you, golden irises glinting with a sort of hesitant concentration. You blink.

“If you trust me enough to enter a contract where i very well might decide between your life and death, do well and also trust me as someone who doesn’t break their promises.” Xiao’s brows fold delicately, as if mulling over the words coming out of hisin real time. “___, I don’t want to see you hurt like this.”

Your heartbeat briefly stutters, lips opening and closing as if to say something even when no thoughts are formed. Eyes trailing back down to your hands, you let out a small sigh. Before you can say anything, though, a gloved hand takes your chin and gently guides your eyes back upwards.

“So don’t hesitate.” His touch is soft as he maintains comfortable eye contact with you despite the straight-forward words. “I won’t allow you to die because of me.”

Blood pumps wildly through your ears as you suck in a breath of apprehension. As hard as you try to break away your gaze, something in his face keeps you anchored even when your chest begins to seize; a face that has been hardened over a millenia of suffering stares back at you with the improper care of a hopeful innocent, as if you are something that is worthwhile in the purest sense.

You swallow, Xiao’s hand’s position above your throat making it painfully obvious to him how caught off guard you are. Though naturally, if this action of yours makes him falter at all, he does so unnoticeably.

“I won’t,” It’s said slowly, as if you can’t comprehend what exactly you’re saying just yet. “You said I don’t lack anything, but in the moments I do--”

Your lips rest parted as anxiety cuts off the last part of your sentence, but Xiao’s patient expression pushes you forward.

“...I trust you to help me.”

Those words echo in his mind for a moment, ricocheting and hitting even the most unfamiliar parts of himself that he’d long buried. Feelings and memories that have since collected cobwebs begin to resurface and remind him of a more simple time he treasures dearly.

Trust.

Xiao’s thumb ghosts over your jaw, slowly wiping across the skin as he’s propelled deeply into thought -- fortunately too much so to notice the rising pigment on your cheeks.

He himself places his trust in people far and few. You might be different, well acquainted to human customs and the world around you, yet those words from you somehow feel just as special as if the roles are reversed. Your honesty and courage to accompany him has always dug at the cavity in his chest, but to hear you voice the metaphorical fruit of your labour so clearly is an entirely different sense.

All this time he’d blindly protected you, warned you about monsters lurking in the darkness, he’d fallen too far to even realise that you were beginning to change him. He no longer ate alone, nor did he adventure or sleep as he once did -- you had stuck onto him like a stubborn thorn despite, in your words, tending to feel as if you were bothering him. Regardless, he had somehow still earned your valuable companionship, and with it, commendable words that he could accept from you alone.

But there were times where he despised feeling such a way. He battled over the reasons he felt so inflicted when it was you who was injured, or you who chose to stick by him even after he tried so desperately to push you away. It was frustrating, dealing with a gentle care so foreign. Once he was used to your considerate nature, though, it became a different story.

Seeing you hurt began to shift from an expectable casualty to a blow to his own chest.

“...Xiao,” Your voice is hesitantly quiet, and suddenly, his eyes come back into focus. You’re staring at him with hesitant concern, setting his heart abuzz. “Are you okay?”

It’s when you reach up to wrap your hand around his that his mind finally completes his thought.

I love her.

As an Adeptus, he’s lived thousands of lives and outlived many more, and has taken the role of slaughterer before protector throughout many of them. In a way, the latter ways of his previous life have been ingrained him, regardless of those he manages to save in the more current centuries.

He imagines the figures of the spirits of those he’d wronged watching him in this moment, screaming a sound of contempt that he would never hear. They’re right to do so. They have no reason to pray for his happiness, much like he has little reason to pray for forgiveness.

Yet looking down at you, for the first time in a long time, none of that seems to matter.

With little thought, he grips your hand a bit tighter before letting go, his own hand travelling the length of your jaw to bring himself down to you. You remain completely still as he places a gentle kiss above your brow bone, breath hitching.

“I’m okay.” He reassures you quietly, resting there for a moment and sighing a small gust of air onto your skin. You mumble his name softly, hand reaching out to grab a hold of his shirt. The thin layer between your skin and his sends a sudden shiver down his spine, but regardless, he hums in response.

Your voice comes out in a whisper. “Are you sure?”

He nods, for the first time completely certain.

[tommybaholland]

may I have some hcs for how noya, suga, suna, and maybe??? tsuki (I didn't see him in your list of characters you currently write for, so I wasn't sure if you would write for him if I requested him, so I understand if you don't) react to their s/o who's in a sports team (in high school if possible unless you prefer to age them up I understand!) too (I'm not specifying/choosing so other readers can feel included!) injuring their knee during practice, but not taking it seriously and they just limp around everywhere instead of going to the doctor or trying to do something to feel better. I went too hard on badminton practice yesterday and I literally cannot bend, or put weight on my knee right now so I'm just limping around cause I'm too scared to ask my mom if she can take me to the hospital sjjjdjshs. Don't be like me pls🧍‍♀️as someone who's injured several muscles over 2 times I am begging to take this seriously if you ever get injured, I hope you're taking care of yourself!! :))

when their s/o tries to hide an injury

featuring: nishinoya, sugawara, and suna

yes, unfortunately, i don’t write for tsukki right now, but here are the other three :) i’ll let the writing do the talking, but take it easy and i hope you feel better soon! 

nishinoya

he’s probably the least observant and that doesn’t mean he can’t take a hint when something’s wrong with you

but he usually doesn’t find out about it until after something happens 

you two have quite the playful relationship and are no strangers to playing fighting or jumping onto each other

one day at school, he snuck up behind you to hop onto your back as he often did 

and normally you wouldn’t mind and can handle it because he’s as light as a feather 

but today your back didn’t take it so well as you let out a strained gasped at feeling his weight put pressure onto it 

“hey, my beautiful, sweet, gorgeous-- hey, are you okay? did i hurt you?”

you knew you were going to have to have this conversation with him eventually but of course, you were too late

you wince as you try to stand up straight again, explaining that your back was already hurting from practice

“oh, well, then you should probably go see the nurse. can’t have you hurting, gorgeous.”

you promise him that it’s okay and you probably just need to stretch it out later

he hesitantly accepts your answer, but worries about you all-day long

it makes him usually quiet 

so he decides that he can’t let you tolerate your pain

on your way to the gym after school for practice, you find him waiting outside 

“you can’t practice today, babe.”

you actually get a little annoyed at him for trying to tell you what you can and can’t do

“oh, you’re fine? okay, then-- oops, i dropped my pen. can you pick it up for me? it’s closer to you.”

you knew where this was going 

but your back said otherwise and you barely hinged forward before it felt like someone was literally stabbing you in the back

“see? you can barely bend over. i’m taking you to the nurse or a doctor or something so you can get better.”

he grabs your hand and starts leading you away when you stop and ask him about your practice and volleyball

“i talked to the coach before you got here and they agree with me. i can miss one day of practice. the rest of them would probably do the same for their s/o and besides most of them still suck at receiving so they can practice that and serving at the same time!”

you still don’t look convinced so he brings you closer to him by tugging lightly on the bottom of your school uniform

“don’t worry, beautiful. i got it all sorted out, okay?” 

you finally nod and he seals his promise with a small kiss 

“listen, you’re my strong, beautiful, gorgeous, smart s/o and i love you! i’ll try to pay more attention to you but i need you to let me know when you’re hurting..”

he couldn’t let you get away with a small scolding bc his oblivious ass loves you too much 

sugawara

he observes but tries not to make a big deal out of it or bring it up in a confrontational way 

you had a slight limp on the way to school and on the way home with him after both of your practices finished

he invited you over to hang out for a bit before your curfew and he notices that you struggled a little to sit down next to him on his bed like you were in pain

“sugar, are you alright?” he asked, his hand rubbing across your back

you tell him you’re fine

“okay...are you sure? i’m pretty sure you’ve been limping this entire day and just now it looked like it hurt to sit down.”

you admit that your hip has been bothering you ever since practice the day before and you thought it would just get better over time 

“well, how bad is the pain?”

it’s not too bad, you think

he has you lay down and he tries to examine you a bit himself

“does it hurt when i lift your leg like this?”

he slowly tries to lift it to a ninety-degree angle but a sharp pain shoots right into your hip 

you wince and tense up at the pain 

he frowns as he immediately puts your leg down, “it’s only your hip, right? your knee doesn’t hurt or anything?”

you shake your head, still tense from the pain that it’s causing you 

he lays down next to you, rubbing a soothing hand up and down you arm, “aww, i’m sorry it hurts so much, sweetness, but-- wait, you didn’t go to practice like this did you?  

well, the karma was certainly hitting

he sighs, “babe, why would you-- never mind, i think you need to go see the doctor.”

that’s when the tears start to fall

he pulls you into his arms upon seeing your tears, “i know you don’t wanna go, sweetheart, but you need to get this checked out. i just hate seeing you in so much pain and they can help you feel better.” 

you hate the doctor

it just makes you just feel like more of a helpless burden 

“you’re not a burden, sugar. this looks serious and you shouldn’t be in so much pain. i don’t think we should let it go any longer so let’s get you bundled up in some of my sweatpants and that one sweater you like. i’ll take you and be there for you the entire time, okay?” 

gives you a few reassuring kisses and lets you lay there with him for a bit longer before you get ready to go

he would never let his sweet s/o suffer and always stays true to his word 

and you bet that he’ll be there when you’re confined to bed rest, making sure you’re not overexerting yourself so he can see your beautiful smile again

suna

he’s the most observant out of these three and won’t hesitate to ask about it

he didn’t see you much during the day at school but he walked you home almost every day after practice and usually ended up staying for dinner

so he always had that to look forward to

he was surprised when he got a glance of you outside the gym earlier than normal 

and he really got curious when he saw how off-balanced and wobbly you seemed

you waited outside for him, not wanting to interrupt practice 

you had skipped your own practice that day, seeing that nobody knew you had hurt your knee 

but you knew suna would find out eventually so you were just trying to figure out what to tell him 

“hey, so when were you going to tell me that you’re hurt?”

he was so quiet and stealthy that you didn’t even notice him standing there with all his stuff, ready to leave for the day

he was never less than confrontational

“and don’t try to hide it from me, babe. i can see the limp in your step.”

your knee has been hurting since practice the other day and it wasn’t getting any better

“i see. have you tried icing it or anything?”

the habitual blank expression in his face had turned downward as you shook your head

“baby, how many times do i have to tell you? you can’t just let things like this go. it’s not good for you.” 

you tell him not to tell your parents or make you go to the doctor because it doesn’t hurt that bad

“of course. i can’t make you do anything, but let’s at least try putting some ice on it and elevating it first, okay?” 

you agree and then he tries to pick you up, insisting on carrying you all the way home 

“babe, i can do it. i’ve got a strong core, remember?”

you’re still refusing him like, ‘pls chill, i’m not dying’

“okay, but hold onto me when you need. and here, do you want to wear this? it’s a bit cold out.”

he gives you his team jacket to wear 

you begin walking and you realize you’re more unsteady than you thought

he wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you into his side, and has you wrap an arm around his shoulders so he can steady you a little more

once you get to his house, he gets you all set up in his bed with ice and your leg propped up on a few pillows 

then he makes sure you’re all cozy with plenty of blankets and him snuggled up beside you

he doesn’t look like it but he loves to dote on you even when you’re being stubborn <3

hold on haikyuu night!! there’s more if you want to request..

[shorkbrian]

Prelude - I need to stop catching sight of poetry on my explore page lol. This is entirely self-indulgent and very specific cause I’m rotting thru life rn and so if u dislike I understand lol. When I was in the hospital this last time it sucked rlly bad and like the awful horny degenerate I was I kept thinking abt Kirishima and soft sweet Sugawara idk lol

Pairing - Death god Kirishima x Reader

Warnings - Suicide, suicide attempt, no smut. Death. Drunk Drivers. Yandere but only a little bit and cause I can’t voluntarily accept love it has to be forced bc I cannot handle the thot of someone who is sane loving me bc there is no freaking way lol

Music - https://open.spotify.com/track/5Iy1wdO0tMaHwKnfFYtlel?si=-vqod-W6SHia8ui2Hdl_9g 

Adding this one bc it’s like one of my favorites and I wish god I wish and I hope that this year is better than the last amen lol also there’s nothing more sad to me than someone pleading and begging and crying for the year to treat you nicely like bitch u okay? no. the answer is no.

https://open.spotify.com/track/0xRO7EKgYKVB8zKIoiXMDD?si=HYBaiBzjRGmQwfCHgnTUxA

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“It hurts.” You had told him, as the entity sat at the end of your hospital bed.

He often sank heavily onto the nearest surface, as if his bones ached with the weight of his body. You saw him often during those first few days in the hospital, days spent puking up pills, every move you made monitored, doctors and nurses scolding you about the severity of your actions.

You didn’t think they could see the hulking figure that comforted you.

“I”ve heard that it’s supposed to.” The red god of death would think aloud.

“I don’t want it then.” Tears upon your cheeks, soft, misty. “Take it.”

“Your life?” A nod would affirm his question, but the red god would shake his head. “I am no thief. Not a hunter, simply a gatherer of souls. I won’t take what doesn’t belong to me.”

“Then it’s yours, have my life. A gift, from me to you. Don’t make me live it any longer…..”

His sadness would show in his eyes.

But the soul-crushing hugs that were provided were admittedly a tiny bit nice.

“You’re far too sweet for your own good. I’ll receive your life when the time is right, not before.”

“But I don’t want it!” You sobbed into his shoulder, the god seeming to be your only friend in the world.

Hands stroked along your back, soft shushing sounds as the god attempted to soothe you in the ways he knew how. Soft touches, kind truths. “Many don’t.  But it happens - life happens anyways. All you can do is find the things that make it less painful.”

“That’s not enough, it still hurts. I can’t stand it.” The sobs wracking your body didn’t stop the entity from holding you.

“I know, and I’m sorry.”

——

He’s patient and kind.

Surprising for a god who’s work involves collecting souls as if they were taxes. A job that should be bitter and tiresome, but the entity has infinite softness resting inside of him.

He walks with you, as you get “better“.

You watch him stop to marvel at flowers, to study the way dew drips from trees in little drops, eyes wide and wondering as crows startle from their perches and take off with noisy weeping.

This courtyard is drab and brown, a prison. Safe.

Yet the god of death treats the space gently, with respect. He thanks the old walls for standing, the worn stones beneath your feet. Their service is noted and appreciated. He’s so tender it almost makes you sick.

But you come to realize that he’s simply allowing himself to be vulnerable, to experience the earth and the beings in it.

For as soon as one recognizes vulnerability, which is so different from weakness or tragedy, one experiences a sense of tenderness. Without tenderness, pleasure means nothing. You need only look at the animals to see the truth of that. It is gentleness that distinguishes their playing from the actions they constantly take to ensure their survival.

You ask why he walks with you, why he is so focused on seeing you get “better“.

A soft smile, a meeting of eyes. “There is an end to your pain, sometime and somewhere. It’s most likely not here, not in this place at least-“ and he looks around, at the cold walls, the other sick patients, the staff. All human.

“-It will come. But for now, it’s enough to try and seek it out ourselves.”

You must look more sick than you really are, talking to thin air like that.

——-

Once you return home, the red god writes you letters.

He’s an old soul, an old god. You’re sure if you asked, he’d be able to recount the very first souls he reaped, a man and a woman, sinful and sweet but in love.

The letters help you get out of bed. What new stories or little quips the god has written pique your curiosity, even when you don’t want to move, don’t want to be awake or alive.

He tells you stories about certain souls, how each one is infinitely interesting, how they all interconnect.  How some of them struggle against him, however fruitlessly. But he’s not the one who brought about their death, he’s there to comfort and guide.

Other souls, (“souls like yours” he writes) welcome him, run to his arms like a long lost lover. Their death was terrifying by their own hand, and it hurt. He can’t take away that pain, those memories. The red god says he wishes those souls find peace wherever he must take them afterwards, or at least, some form of contentment.

“The meaning of life is to give life meaning, at least, that’s what seems to be the consensus.” You rip off that part of the letter, hang it on your wall by your bed.  The other letters you keep in your nightstand, content with the knowledge that there are souls out there like you

It’s hard work, creating meaning for yourself.

The red god takes to visiting you between each letter, says he misses you, the way your soul cries. He tells you that he wishes he could help you quiet it, quiet that raging, terrible storm that hurls you about.

You make him cookies - it’s the only way you know how to say thank you. It’s what your mother taught you, so it may not be right, but the god eats them nonetheless. He likes it when you eat with him, feeding you bites from his cookie, wiping chocolate off of your nose, making you laugh with stupid jokes and a mouth stuffed full of cookies.

Even if some of them are too crunchy, or others too soft, all of them imperfect.

Imperfection is the essence of humanity, he tells you, and it’s more fun eating each cookie with the thought that you’re devouring your imperfections, making yourself whole again, filling up the empty spaces in your soul.

——

Eventually, the crawl back to your feet, rise with the unsteadiness of a toddler. You fall frequently, cry often, but you’re able to get up and try again.

Some days you need to bury yourself in sadness, let yourself feel and feel and hurt. Other days are not so bad, but still tinged  with regret and fear and sadness.

The red god is by your side, gives you something to cling to when you waver.

He is always there.

He will be there when you meet your end.

The god is in no hurry.

You question why he wastes his time on you, hours spent reassuring you, talking to you, tucking you in your bed and leaving glasses of water on your nightstand before taking his leave.

Home is a feeling, not a place. Home is with you - that’s what he tells you. You take his breath away, even though he might not even need to breath because he’s the god of death. HIs thoughts muddle and he trips over his feet and can’t help himself from wanting to hold you.

You learn that even gods yearn for home.

He’s capable of feelings and emotions just like any other human. He may be wiser, and older, able to draw from experience and a deep well of wisdom. But he still feels, and feels deeply.

Just as he gives the earth around him such reverence, he extends that same  attitude when he deals with you.

“Everything I see reminds me of you. When I wake and the sun creeps over the mountains, hesitant, it reminds me of the way that you rise - haltingly, yet it happens nonetheless. The flowers in the field that so steadily grow, you’re like ground they take root in, soft and unstable yet still tenable with the potential for growth. I don’t know, I haven’t exactly held such closeness with a human-“

He trails off, but you think you understand.

Maybe you don’t. It’s hard to relate to a god.

——

A confession occurs, and you’re surprised to learn that the blood-red god of death is in love.

“What did my hands do before they held yours? What did my heart do without all of this love? I can’t hold enough of you, I carry such love for you in my heart.”

With a frail, hopeless human nonetheless.

You don’t know what to tell him, how to explain that you can barely take care of yourself right now, meet your own needs.

But the red god seems to know, seems to understand the way your breath hitches and your eyes widen. One more hug, squeezed tight to his chest while he promises nothing has to change.

Things do change, even if you wish them not to. The world doesn’t bow to your whims, nor the death-god’s.

Innocent touches, his hand on your shoulder, patting your head, offering to rub out the tension in your back after you’ve had a crushing day - they don’t feel so innocent anymore.

The constant survellience still seemed kind, and you knew it was with your best intentions in mind that the god hovered so close, invading every aspect of your life.

But a creeping tendril of unease took hold, and you worried.

Everywhere you turned, he would be there, ready to support you, walk you through anything you wished.

Again, you questioned his commitment. Why? Why you?

“I can’t explain how fond of you I’ve grown. How heat blossomed in my chest as we grew closer. There’s infinite things I wish to say to you, ways for me to express my-my love, but I’ll just let you live.”

He neither killed you nor let you live.

Was it frightening? Maybe. But you had nothing to really live for, lost, searching for your own meaning in a big big world, floundering in an endless sea of sadness and suffering. You weren’t afraid of anything the god could, or would, do to you.

Until you woke up, not knowing where you were, in pitch black.

Arms encircling your shoulders, a soft body beneath your own, holding you tightly, a hand caressing your cheek.

A sun rose, on a strange new land, on the blood-red god gazing at you.

“There seemed to be so much more time for you. But accidents happen, Drivers drink and hearts give out. I was expecting you to grow old, for us to live and love like that, see how you grew through life.”

He looked around this new world, and you vaguely remember what had come before.  A walk along the sidewalk, blaring horns, impact, blood.

“But this will be just as nice. You can stay here with me now. Life can’t cause you anymore pain.”

You don’t feel comforted by those words.  There’s no way for you to know whether this new world would be better than the one you left behind.

[shadyteacup]

Hi I recently started reading your work and I absolutely love it! Could I please request a chuuya x reader with him comforting his s/o after going threw a hard time bc her school friend of so many years has been treating her so bad to the point where she breaks the friendship up between them and she's just really sad bc of it? I've been going threw a few hard times with mines and I suffer from so many problems mostly mental some physical. This just feels good to yet it off my chest! Sorry if this request is too extreme...

Hey love! I want you to know that you deserve love, and don't deserve to have such toxic people in your life.. your mental an physical health comes first. Pls cut off such toxic people from your life, you deserve happiness!

Nakahara Chuuya x fem! Reader

Warnings: strong language, degradation, self doubt.. angst at first then comfort.

Word count: 1216

My Brave Warrior

"What do you mean?"

You asked, placing your mug of coffee on the table. You were invited to a reunion party, and all your school friends were going to attend. You were excited for it. Chhuya had bought you a pretty dress, one that he said made you look gorgeous. You had recently gotten in touch with your best friend from school. After graduating, you both had lost touch. Reconnecting with her felt so nice. She seemed much different than what you remembered her to be, but she was still your friend.

"You know what I mean. Look, I'm your closest friend. I have been since school. You gotta trust me on this, that outfit looks trash on you. Besides, it's not even your color. That color looks much prettier on me, considering my skintone and figure."

You both were planning what to wear to the party. She was trying to dissuade you from wearing the dress. Her words hurt you more than you'd like to admit. But that's what friends do, right? Friends give you an honest opinion and help you make the right decision, right? Then why are you feeling hurt?

You sigh, tears forming in your eyes.

"What's wrong with my skintone? Besides, our skintones are almost the same."

She didn't miss a moment to reply.

"Then it's your body shape. It's too bulgy and too flat at all the wrong places. Mine's perfect for that dress, since it really accentuates my curves."

"You haven't even worn it yet! Besides, it's my dress."

Was the dress really bad for you? But Chuuya seemed to like the way it looked on you.

"So? We're best friends. What's yours is equally mine! Besides, I don't even need to try it on to know that it'll suit me. The color's gorgeous and goes well with my eyes."

You try to keep your tears in. Was your body really not perfect? Is that dress too good for you?

"Then how about you lend me your pearl dress. That way we both would have something pretty to wear."

You suggested. The pearl dress your friend owns might suit you. It even matches your aesthetic.

"No, love. It's just.. it'll look too much on you, you know? Like, it suits me so well. I don't about you."

Why was she being such a bitch to you? She had been degrading you ever since you two got in touch again. Why does she hate you so much?

"I think it'll suit me."

"No, it won't, sweetheart. Trust me."

You exhaled with your mouth, trying to keep your tears in.

"Why are you doing this?"

You ask, your voice trembling.

"To make you look good for the party, duh! I don't want you to wear something out of your league and make a fool of yourself."

You clenched your fists.

"I mean, why are you being so mean? I think that dress looks very good on me. The color suits me, and my figure is perfect for it. Your pearl dress suits me too."

"Are you dumb? What do you think I've been screaming for the past hour?! You don't look good in that dress! Give it to me to wear!"

You were taken aback by the bitterness in her tone. Does she even care about you? Or is this all about the bloody dress?

"No! My boyfriend gifted it to me, and he thinks I look good in it. There's no way I'm going to give it to you! You don't even care about me! All you care about is getting your hands on that dress!"

She chuckled bitterly.

"Why are you being such a bitch?! It doesn't suit you! And yeah, maybe I do want that dress for myself. So what?! I know it'll look fabulous on me! If you wear it, you'll destroy the whole vibe of it!"

That's when it clicked. She wasn't your friend at all. She was just someone you used to know. This person on the phone is a selfish individual who doesn't give two fucks about you.

" You know what, I'm done."

You say, your tone low and dangerous.

"Excuse me? What do you mean?"

"I mean we're done. Over. This thing we had, this friendship or whatever, it's over."

She scoffed.

"Oh my God, why are you like this?! I'm just trying to help you! Don't you understand that?!"

"Shut the fuck up. And goodbye."

You cut the call and slam your phone on the table. Sobs forced their way out of you as you held your face in your palms, leaning against the table. You hadn't expected her to be like this. You both were so close as teenagers! You used to practically live at each other's houses. You both shared so many memories and secrets. You had just ended a deep friendship. But then again, maybe it had ended a long time ago. What you ended right now was a toxic relationship, one that would've drained you further.

But what if she really was trying to help? Did you make a mistake? Should you call her and apologize?

No. She was being mean to you. She deserved it.

Right?

You didn't hear Chuuya when he came into the room, and only felt his presence when he hugged you from behind.

"Chuu... I-"

He kissed your hair, hugging you tighter.

"Shh, I know. I heard it all."

He turned you around to hug you properly. You snuggled into him, sniffing against his chest.

He threaded his fingers through your hair, soothing you.

"Before you start doubting yourself, I want you to know that what you did was right. You got rid of a toxic person. That's an amazing decision."

"But what if she was actually trying to help me?"

Chuuya chuckled.

"I only heard one side of the conversation, but it was enough for me to guess that the person on the other end is a menace."

He tilted your face to lock eyes with you, and cupped your cheek.

"You are beautiful. Everything about you is perfect. That dress looks ethereal on you. Nobody could carry it as elegantly as you do."

He pecked your nose.

"I love you. People around you love you too. You are worth all that love, and you deserve to have good hearted souls around you. You don't deserve such toxic relationships. What you did was brave, and I'm so proud of you. Cutting off someone that isn't good for you may seem like the obvious choice, but it's a really hard step to take."

He smiled at you.

"And you did that. You were brave and you did what was necessary for your own mental health. I love you for being so brave."

He leaned down to press his forehead against yours.

"You are my brave warrior, and no one, not even you, can say otherwise. Stop thinking back on your decision, because it was the right thing to do."

You looked at him in awe. You hadn't even explained what you were feeling to him, and yet he understood you perfectly. He had just answered all your doubts and insecurities. He was an angel. You were so glad to have him.

"I love you, chuuya."

He kissed you.

"I love you too, muffin."