#( . are they boinking in hell or what

[stillsolo]

going through iconing / color correction hell rn but HELL YEAH LOOK AT HIM

[ichxgo]

Are you going to need body guards to boink the Mort Mob? You already have "King" as a nickname, if the foot thing keeps up, you might get transformed into a lemur. (⁠;⁠ŏ⁠﹏⁠ŏ⁠)

@anon || unprompted || accepting

"Why.... a lemur?"

[nothazellevesque]

The funniest part of romancing gale is knowing that mystra is most definitely watching your tav or Durge throwing it back on that man during his romance arc shenanigans. He’s actively doing magic during every romance scene, meaning that mystra is canonically duty bound to at least listen. Gale is essentially doing the fantasy equivalent of sending your ex a voice memo of you fucking your new partner in every romance scene. the scene channeling the weave? mystra’s there. astral projection glow in the dark fidget spinner bonefest? mystra’s there. the regular bed option? he summons the bed using magic, so mystra’s there too. scene where he takes you to the astral plane (aka mystra’s literal goddamn house)? mystra’s there. every time. she’s sitting in her little magical cuck chair in the corner watching her ex abuse victim boink his new (likely more age appropriate partner). and you know what? hell yeah. gale deserves a little bit of petty fuckery in his life. go off king

[chunkitakii]

Okay but your mention of predator/play for lux.....

Not you trying to get away from him by running around the theater (you're trying to actually get work done) only to unintentionally send him into goblin mode

I cackled when I imagined this LOL.

WARNING: Not really a smut headcannon but hints that Lux is horny.

I don’t intend this do be a headcannon but just a short little story of how this would go,

“Lux, I’m not doing this today! I actually have to get some work done!”

“Come on~!” He sang. “Just a quick little game of patty cake, there is no harm in that!” He stated as he tried to get you by trying to chase you around the row of seats.

“Lux the last time you said that, I couldn’t even walk straight for the next two days- Ah!” You screamed as you quickly dodged a pouncing Lux. He managed to leap from the other side of the raw and into yours. But since he missed, he ended up falling face first into another seat. A loud cartoonish ‘boink!’ was heard from him.

You let out a stiffened laugh, but quickly caught yourself to make a run for it. But Lux was faster, he always was.

You were about to make it to the exit doors, until you heard shuffling behind you. To make sure how far Lux was from you, you made a quick over the shoulder look. But what you saw makes your heart drop and your pulse quicken at the same time.

Lux had managed to jump from row to row, but that wasn’t the worst part. He was doing it on all fours, and with a feral look on his face.

Never in your life would you ever seen a feral Ring-A-Ding.

Yet you just excepted your fate, because there was no way in hell you would escape this beast of a toon.

The last thing you saw and felt was the beast leaping at you and tackling you to the ground.

-R.I.P. you

Yea there are some points in life while being with the god, you can’t get a break from him. Ever.

[artificiallita]

i got bit by the butch wolverine bug and trust me im in lov w her BUT have we considered futch deadpool???

(headcanons and upcoming fic snippets under the cut)

working on a big silly fanfic about this hot mess boinking logan in the odyssey. here’s some headcanons while the story finishes cooking.

- so. kept her first name as wade. i’ve seen a few alt names floating around for f!deadpool (big love for the winnies, winonas, and wandas of the ladypool extended universe) but genderfuck ‘not rlly a name’ just fits my vision for her. her parents were weird idk.

- deadpool is a woman in all variants except one in my personal headcanon. he is called dudepool. also her corresponding nicepool is male gaze-ified pre-mutation wade. she’s bleach blonde and her suit has a titty window.

- ex special forces turned mercenary whose life shit the bed when she was diagnosed with cancer. tried to be proactive about it long enough to get a mastectomy, then found out said cancer was pretty much everywhere else, and we know the story from there. since this predates her healing factor, she’s permanently single-boobed. has padding in her suit to even her out since it doesn’t leave a whole lot to the imagination, wears big t-shirts and ignores it in her civilian life.

- bisexual disaster zone. spent many years in a very happy and deeply perverted relationship with a male stripper named van carlysle, until that went down the toilet. a solid 70% of the casual sex she has is with women.

- dresses like the shitshow nightmare we know and love, loves an awful t shirt and a pair of crocs. put little to no effort into her appearance pre-mutation and that hasn’t really changed, had a brief phase of screwing around with makeup and wigs and then decided it was basically - to use a line of internal monologue from the pending fic - rolling a turd in glitter.

- speaking of, has a real complex about the changes to the way people perceive her post-mutation, namely that they seem to find her super fucking irritating and odd in a way that they very much Didn’t when she was still conventionally hot. between her military background and the general company she keeps, she’s quite often the only woman in her circles, and has always been a dysfunctional mess of adhd and unfiltered word-vomit, but that was generally read as mpdg ‘cool girl’ behaviour prior to her transformation, and now people seem to just think she’s a lunatic. less ‘oh god im hideous’, although she *absolutely* has those moments too, more ‘oh god everyone i know has thought i was a weird pain in the ass this entire time and only tolerated me because they wanted to fuck me’

- wears a lot of poorly applied eyeliner and purposely sleeps in it because she thinks it looks cool. it does not.

- had absolutely zero plans to snitch to cassandra about johnny’s rant, right up until the ‘bald hell’ line. she took that shit personally (almost definitely didn’t need to but whatever. i support women’s wrongs.)

and some snippets from the fic, all of which are me wade objectifying logan. technically spoilers but also what else did anyone expect

[miryum]

"Clark's Phone Number"

Summary: Detective!Jason Todd x detective!Reader based on Jake and Amy’s relationship

Series Warnings: Swearing, descriptions of violence (but nothing descriptive), guns and other police stuff

Series Masterlist

Cass and Steph’s phones pinged at the same time. Steph scanned the message then called over to Damian, “shouldn’t we be using the other group chat for this?”

Damian glared and typed something on his phone. The message was: I doubt we need Richard or Timothy for this revelation. Are they truly as invested in this cause as we are?

Dick created the group chat in the first place, Steph reminded her friends.

“We’re sitting a couple feet away from each other,” Cass deadpanned. “Why are we even using the group chat?”

Because it’s more entertaining, Damian wrote while maintaining eye contact with Cass.  

Anyone else notice that Todd and L/n aren’t here? Dick stopped their bickering by typing away in the larger, all-encompassing, precinct group chat that was titled Operation Lovebird. The group chat with everyone, including Y/n and Jason was graciously named Practically Hell, courtesy of Y/n, due to the six-six being “only one six away from Hell.”

Al Ghul was just mentioning it in The Best Ones, Cass replied. 

Why do you guys even *have* another group chat? Tim asked.

Because we’re ‘The Best Ones.’ Obviously. Steph added the eye-roll emoji.

Just tell us what’s happening with Operation Lovebird!!! Dick demanded. 

All we know is that they’re both gone, Steph said. 

If you were better detectives, you would’ve noticed the culprits entering the copy room together. Captain Wayne’s contact suddenly popped up on everyone’s screen.

A plethora of messages popped up after his comment, including:

Dick: Culprits???!!!!! Brucie, why???

Tim: Why is Captain in this chat again? No offence, sir.

Wayne: None taken.

Steph: omg are they…

Steph: … you know?

Cass: Fucking?

Steph: NO!!!

Steph: Smooching, obvi.

Damian: Brown, please. Stop maiming my eyes with your typed words. 

Tim: Though, seriously, what are they doing?

Wayne: Pull the security tapes and meet me in my office.

There was a scrambling around the precinct as the detectives (and Damian) ran to Wayne’s office. “Does anyone have the surveillance tapes?” the captain asked. The detectives glanced around and slowly shook their heads. Wayne groaned and commanded, “Cain, grab the tapes.”

Once Cass did as she was directed, Tim used Wayne’s computer and pulled the tapes onto the screen.  

On the tape, Jason stood in the copy room, glancing around anxiously as he fiddled senselessly with the machine. Y/n’s figure appeared on screen and she shuffled into the room, calling out to anyone who would listen, “yeah, I'm just gonna make some copies in here. In the copy room. Heh. Perfect cover. Nailed it.”

“Hey…” Jason waved awkwardly to his coworker. “Hi… Y/n…”

“Jason,” Y/n stepped towards him, smiling devilishly. “Why’d you wanna meet me here?” Her grin showed that she knew exactly why Jason wanted to talk to her. “To boink? At work?!” She gasped dramatically. “Todd, I expected better of you!”

Jason’s cheeks flamed up and Y/n congratulated herself on making the buff, six foot tall detective stutter. “No…” He said, “I wanted to talk about uh, Brian and Lacy.”

“Ah… yeah. Brian and Lacy,” Y/n nodded her head, demeanour shifting. “What about them? I thought they were a pretty cute couple.” 

“So did I,” Jason admitted softly. He took a step forward until Y/n could simply reach out and touch him. He had a faint bruise on the underside of his jaw from an incident with a criminal half a week ago. He stared down at his colleague, his gaze filled with agonised hope. “Brian wanted to ask Lacy on an official date.”

Y/n’s heart was being cleaved in half and sewn back up again by Jason’s own hands. “What about Brian’s old girlfriend, Daisy? Lacy was pretty sure that Brian was making googly-eyes at Daisy during their last meeting.”

“Just to be clear, Daisy being Rose?” 

“Yeah.”

“Brian went on a couple dates with Daisy,” Jason continued, “but soon realised that Daisy couldn’t hold a small, dying match to Y/n’s burning, beautiful fire.”

“I thought her name was Lacy,” Y/n whispered. Jason’s chest rose and fell and he moved even closer to her. Jason reached up towards her face and swiped the pad of his thumb along her cheek. He angled Y/n’s face up so he could finally look into her eyes with the redamancy and forelsket that had been stored away for so many years. 

“Yeah, well,” a corner of his lips curved into a knowing smirk. “I just made Lacy blush, which is usually an impossible feat.”

“You flatter me, Brian,” Y/n said. “It’s clear that you take your words straight from a romance novel. You spend too much time reading.” She reached up and brushed a tuft of hair away from Jason’s face. Her words were teasing, but her actions were careful.

“My words aren’t from a romance novel,” Jason reassured her. “They’re from the heart- yeah, no, I hear it now. A little too cheesy, huh?”

Y/n shrugged and said, “I rather enjoyed it.” She relished the feeling of Jason’s touch on her skin. She hoped to feel it more often. “Your kissing could improve, though,” she referenced their impromptu kiss at the restaurant. 

Jason chuckled lightly. “I doubt that. You seemed to like it a lot.” He spoke lightly while memorising her face. “So, what do you say to a date, darling?”

“Darling?” Y/n asked. “I thought I was the one with the nicknames.” 

Jason shook his head. “I think I’ve found your ten.”

“And now you’ve stolen my quips. Love, you’ve already stolen my heart. Soon I’m gonna see you in the interrogation room.”

“I bet you’d love to see me in handcuffs.” 

Y/n’s mouth fell open and she let out a shocked laugh. “Mr. Todd! That’s no way to speak to a lady!” 

Jason’s hand was still cupping Y/n’s cheek and his other hand drew up to trace meaningless patterns on her forearm. “Does this mean you say ‘yes’ to the date?”

“What if it makes working together awkward?” Y/n’s hand clutched onto the fabric of his shirt.

“Then we’ll be awkward together,” he answered easily. “I want this too much for a little awkwardness to get in the way. I want you too much, Y/n.”

“I wanna try this,” she decided after a moment. “I want you too. Tonight? At eight?”

Jason nodded quickly, afraid she would take it back. “That sounds absolutely perfect.”

Y/n stared at him and she couldn’t seem to place the expression on his face. It had a softness that looked suspiciously like love. His cheeks held a pink tint and his eyes gazed down at her and Jason knew he would spend the rest of his life holding her if he could. After a moment, Y/n realised, heart jumping, that Jason looked like he was in love. “We should probably get back to work before they realise we’re missing,” Y/n said slowly.

Jason nodded and moved towards the door, not before taking Y/n in his arms and pressing a lingering kiss to her forehead. “Should we tell the rest of the team? he asked quietly. 

“Probably not,” Y/n said. “They would get way too involved.”

“Should we tell them we’re spying on them?” Tim asked from inside Wayne’s office where the rest of the six-six was still crowded around the computer which displayed Y/n and Jason.

A chorus of ‘no’s and shushing erupted from everyone else and Steph squealed, “oh! They’re finally together! I’m over the moon! They’re adorable!”

“Brown, will your fangirling get in the way of your work?” Wayne asked, smiling slightly.

“Yes, definitely!” 

Wayne sighed. “Understandable.”

“Well, what are you looking for?” Jason asked. “Symbolism and overall themes or simply personal enjoyment?”

“Both,” Y/n took a lick of her ice cream, legs swinging happily under the park bench.

“The Great Gatsby for symbolism and overall themes,” he answered after a minute of thinking. “And then my favourite book is Pride and Prejudice.” 

“Yeah, I definitely knew that one,” Y/n nodded. “You’ve read it a thousand times in the precinct.” She shook her head, “I’ve tried to get through that book, man, but I don’t get the hype over it. Granted, I’ve never been able to get through the first five chapters.”

Jason began ranting about Pride and Prejudice before shaking his head in defeat and asking, “what’s your favourite book? Please don’t let it be Goddess Girls or Geronimo Stilton or some other children's series.”

“No, although those were great series.” She pointed her spoon at Jason accusingly. “As I’ve grown up and matured, it’s either The Fault in Our Stars, Memoirs of a Geisha, All Quiet on the Western Front, or Ella Minnow Pea.”

Jason stared at her and finally said, “those are all very different books. Honestly, I’m surprised you’ve even read four books.”

Y/n punched him in the arm. “How dare you! I’m very well-read! You should see the length of my Ao3 history!” 

Jason laughed loudly and cradled his ‘hurt’ arm. “I’m sorry I underestimated you, Y/n.”

“You better be!” Y/n crossed her arms before finishing off her ice cream. “Now I’m not gonna have sex with you until our fifth date.”

Jason let out a dramatic groan. “I don’t know if I can wait that long, sweetheart.” 

“Keep calling me ‘sweetheart’ and you may not have to.”

“How was the daaaaaate?” Steph used her wheely chair to roll up to Y/n’s desk, grinning cheekily. She waved a finger in Jason and Y/n’s direction. “What is this, huh? Casual? Serious? I need to know how to make fun of you. Also, please get married in a barn ‘cause I have a lot of jokes that are centred around that.” 

“How’d you know about the date?” Jason asked.

“You guys are officially dating?” Dick was walking by when he paused and placed a firm hand on Jason’s chair.

Y/n looked at Jason helplessly. “...yes?” she said quietly. “Maybe?”

Dick and Steph exchanged a look. “This isn’t good,” Dick said.

“We said we weren't gonna tell anyone,” Y/n explained. “It's very new, and we're still figuring it out, you know?”

“Enough.” Dick stated. “Look, I love love, but I also love maintaining a professional work environment. As your commanding officer, I’m kinda disappointed in both of you.” He bent down and added in a stage-whisper, “but as you loving friend who sees himself as a father-or-brother figure to both of you, I adore you two dating and hope that it works out. Kori and I have a big binder left over from our wedding full of ideas and samples we’d be happy to lend you. Please lemme give a toast at the wedding.”

”I already have mine written,” Steph admitted excitedly.

Y/n’s head fell into her hands and Jason cursed Dick under his breath. Dick had to admit, Jason’s curses were getting more creative.

Bonus Scene: 

“You guys have a group chat dedicated to us?!” Y/n cried out. 

“Why wouldn’t we?” Dick chuckled. “It’s where we share blackmail, cute updates, and random stuff related to you guys.”

Y/n snatched Damian’s phone away, the closest person to her and much to his protest. “I can’t believe-” She scrolled through the messages before realising, “wait, I’m sorry, what are our contact names, Dami?”

“It’s simple.” Damian explained, “Richard is Moby Dick. Todd is Bamboozled from when he was drunk and said it out of context.  Drake is obviously CCA which stands for Computer/Coffee Addict. Y/n is Da Best Homie because she set up her own contact and I haven’t gotten around to changing it. Stephanie is Titus because she reminds me of my valiant and excitable dog. Cain is Cassandra Cain and Wayne is Captain Bruce Wayne. I also have Clark’s number and he’s listed as Mr. Clark Kent.”

“I don’t know whether to be offended or unsurprised,” Dick mumbled.

“At least you’re a classic novel,” Steph crossed her arms. “I’m named after a dog.”

“Steph, you’re literally the epitome of a joyful dog.” 

“Aw, thanks!”

“You have Clark’s number?” Y/n murmured to Damian, “can I have it?” 

“No.”

Not my fav way to do it and I would probably rewrite it, but it's already on ao3 so... *shrug*

[pharawee]

No, but imagine you're just some guy. Just a rookie racecar driver waiting for his turn to get a chance at competing in the championship. But then you're made obsolete by some dude who's boinking the current King of the Hallow and has like, three (3) hours on an arcade simulator running Forza Motorsport because clearly that's some proper wildcard talent. /s

And then you're manipulated into cutting some wires in said rival's racecar (a racecar that doesn't even seem to have telemetry of any kind so nobody even notices or checks the car pre-race what the hell) - only it all goes to shit because everyone's playing 3D-chess with alpha powers and then there's a fake death and you totally flip your shit and try to whack your former friend over the head with a hammer.

Everyone hates you now (fair enough) and next thing you know you go to prison where you're lumped in with another racecar driver who seems to have turned evil henchman for the owner of the rival team AND HOW THE HELL DID THAT EVEN HAPPEN - oh, and some dude who kills for a living and stabbed said owner of the rival team to death (WHAT).

And then, a year later, you're broken out of prison and HOLY SHIT you don't even *belong* with these guys - you're just a racecar driver!

... and then you're shot dead.

Poor Dean, you didn't deserve this. :(

(I'm still clinging to the hope that it's just a ruse and he isn't really dead because WHAT THE DICKENS).

[ronearoundblindly]

Dirty Water

Steve Rogers x deep sea mermaid!Reader

Prompt from this dirty ask game with our pairing from the Sun, Salt, and Shield series.

Summary: After a very long (but unofficial) courtship, where Steve is too shy to bring up your anatomy and his compatibility, a cultural misinterpretation quite literally sinks his resolve.

Warnings for smut (I'm gonna have to call this what it is and just say it's monster-f**king, or the one where Steeb gets maybe-CNC-boinked by a 'monster.' Sorry, babes. Ro's dipped a toe into the darkside for a smidge.) MINORS DNI. Poorly--or rather, not--edited and I have no idea the word count...

Steve swallows harshly and tries not to nervously splash his feet in the pool.

"What?" he chokes out.

He can't think of anything more articulate to say, not that it would matter when so much is lost in translation.

All you did was ask about the singing outside the doors of your 'room'--the retrofitted gym pool at the Avengers compound, the one is the basement without windows for your highly sensitive eyes--but he...could never have predicted why you were so curious.

"They're just enjoying themselves," he'd chuckled, shrugging like it was no big deal. "Do you sing?"

The look on your face, jaw slack and head tilting in contemplation, it should have warned him. You unfurled from your relaxed posture, the stance where your arms cross behind your back and fit atop the swell of your--he'd say tail, but it's more like your ass--rump, the rest of your body bent in a curve until your fin nearly touches the surface, and inched closer to his feet in the deep end.

"Yessssss," you hissed slowly through three rows of sharp teeth, crawling up his legs, out of the water, dripping over his lap as you braced large, webbed hands on either side of his hips.

Even in the very low light of damp room, he could see the lavender of your stare drop to his crotch.

"You sing too?"

Steve's an idiot. He didn't understand yet, so that dumbass actually began humming 'You Are My Sunshine' because nothing else occurred to him.

Then he noticed your tail glowing beneath the scales.

Then he realized you were pressing yourself to his legs.

Aaaand then Steve Rogers looked down your body to witness his knee disappearing in a spongy spot where the armoring swelled apart.

Oh god.

"What?" he now asks like an frightened teen seeing boobs for the first time.

"I make you sing?" Your broad green lips turn up in a smile. "Show me."

Suddenly, Steve's forgotten more english than you've learned. "Huh?"

Your flowing, textured hair, shapely even out of the water, sways when you cock your head to the side, looking through your lashes at him.

"How Stevie sing?"

He shivers for the first time in the cool water and lets an involuntary grunt leave his lips.

He's tried to stop himself from imagining your body and how it works to...ya know, and how he might...oh god, he's going to hell, but apparently, you've already been imagining that humans are either masturbating or fucking outside your door at all hours all the time--

--and oh shit, that means you sing as a part of sex.

He turns his head to the almost black ceiling and fails to think of anything else as the light from your body reflects in waves on every wall. He whimpers when he feels a ripple of muscle through the wet cotton of his jeans.

"Doll make Stevie sing?" Your voice is hoarse, and just as quickly as you say that by his throat, you flip back into the water. You can only breathe air for so long without hurting your throat and lungs.

He thinks he's off the hook, praying the tightness in his pants dissipates faster than they'll take to dry, but he lowers his head to find you peeking from the water, intent as ever on learning his ways.

He should be ashamed, so very fucking ashamed, of how badly he wants to take himself out of his pants and watch the wonder of those pretty eyes as he comes at the thought of you, but Steve's drowning in the hope that he can have you. It's been so long that he's wanted this, even in the most innocent ways.

Your final plea bubbles to the surface.

"Show?"

Steve inhales sharply, running a hand through his hair and licking his lips.

This is wrong, he thinks. You should not be doing this.

Yet he does it anyway because he wants to; he wants to so badly.

He sits up straight at the edge of the concrete, popping the button of his jeans and aches as he lowers the zipper. He can't meet your eye while he pulls out his semi-hard cock and fists it harshly.

You're so long that even looking away leaves your shimmering tail in sight, and he thinks he sees you rattle in excitement. It makes him shiver again, and the vibration shakes the moan escaping his tight chest.

Yikes, it does sound a bit like he's singing...

What the hell are you even doing?

Of course, he knows he's touching himself and he knows well enough how to do that, but he shouldn't be doing this in front of you, much less enjoying it. His blood is running so hot beneath his skin, though, the chilly pool feels soothing over his shins where he rolled up his pants (to no avail).

The heat floods his veins and mind to the point rational thought quiets, and Steve's eyes slither up your demure form.

Your eyes get wider and wider the more noise he makes, and his rampant imagination feeds off the sight of that gap in your scales visible as it undulates in the refraction beneath his feet.

He leans his head back and closes his own eyes at just the wrong moment.

Mid-whine, he misses the splashing sound that would have warned him you were coming, and instead Steve is pummeled by the end of your tail and topples into the pool, shocked and sputtering salty water until his body is pinned to the flat of the concrete wall he used to be perch on.

As he scrambles to toss his arms over the ledge, he feels claws dragging his jeans farther down his legs, and the fabric hangs like an anchor while the silky-slick webbing of your fingers glides up and down his thighs.

Then your tongue runs the length of his cock, making Steve moan embarrassingly loud and thrust his hips forward. If he weren't in the water, he'd be a puddle.

Pleasure races up and down his spine, fighting for dominance over the feeling of cold when he slips from the ledge and submerges briefly.

He barely registers the loss of your tongue and your quick lap of swimming before you're backing into him again.

It's on your ass, too, the soft entrance like you rubbed against his knee, but he could not have imagined what it could do--what you could do--how you could manipulate your muscles inside your tail.

He has no brainpower left to describe it. Steve just lets go, trusting your body to hold his weight as one hand grips the mossy softness of your waist and the other hand spreads over your lower back. Out of instinct, he tries to get leverage to push himself in and out of you, but that's useless.

There's a strong ripple of muscle that pulls him in, and in, and in, delicately tight on his sensitive cock and wide enough to slowly suck his balls into the massaging cavern.

Steve's eyes roll far into his head. He's going to pass out if this keeps up.

"Doll," he gasps, but it's too quiet in the slosh of the water. "Please, I'm--"

A clear, high note crescendos from the deep below, something disturbingly pure and paralyzing, and Steve can't move. He can only feel and experience a siren's song in action.

His body twitches violently before his cum is milked sensually, desperately, methodically from his cradled and ravaged pelvis, and never in Steve's long life has he ever been so fucking spent.

He whimpers when your cunt releases him, only faintly aware that he's propped on your back by his elbows as you swim to the shallow end and let him 'stand' on his shaky legs.

The screeching hinge of the door startles him.

"Cap," the junior agent yells over your hiss from the bright light spraying in, "everything okay? I heard..."

Yeah, I couldn't describe it either, Steve thinks.

He spits water from his mouth. "Fine," he huffs back, "we were...singing, and I fell in."

"Oh. Alright. Sorry to disturb you, Miss G." The man nods his apology at your hand-covered eyes and leaves.

Steve can't help but laugh like an insane person, laying to properly float in the water, uncaring what you're up to until he gently hits the stairs leading out of the pool.

Your head rises out of the water hopefully, and he cups your cheeks, still chuckling. He has zero words to describe...anything at the moment, but he can show you a human tradition of affection in return.

Shifting as easily as a feather in the water, he pulls you two together and sweetly presses his salmon lips to your seaweed pout, letting your long locs fall over his own shoulders.

Soon, he's gasping for air again, yet just before you dunk below the surface, you grin and coo at him.

"Stevie sings lovely."

[Main Masterlist; Dirty Asks Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

what...the hell have i done. *hits post before final two braincells protest*

@fandom-has-taken-me-hostage @leah2901 @blogbog710 @supraveng @patzammit @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @yiiiikesmish @ashesofblackroses @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @brandycranby @buckysprettybaby @ellethespaceunicorn @late-to-the-party-81 @rogersbarber @bucky-fricking-barnes-reads @fallinallinmendes @jamneuromain

[halfdeadwallfly]

i just started malevolent for the first time...... i'm only like four minutes in......... what the hell

[the-riders-quadrant]

Secret Solstice Masterlist!

Here is the complete list along with pairings from the RQ solstice exchange! Thanks so much to everyone involved for your enthusiasm and excitement, everyone put so much love and effort (and sneakiness) into their fics 💕🫶🏼

Enjoy!

Amuse Bouche by Ubiquitously_ubiquitous for Siobhanwrites Bodhi / Tyvon/ Ridoc/ Liam Mairi

Aretian Snowfall by justanothersarah for Tegantales Liam/Violet

Best Kept Secret by Mint_chocolatechip for Hoellix Bodhi/Ridoc

Burn it all down by Hliz for Pillow Violet/Xaden

Complementary by Kobo for Thoughtsaboutshows Violet/Xaden

Dancing in the dark with you by fantasy_bookwyrm for Caeli Violet/Xaden

The Days of Draecember by ACourtofLadyDeath for Saranova Drake Cordella and Cain Aetos

Defying Gravity by Copperfirebird for TheWrittenMaze Violet/Jack

Dragonback Boink by yanny77 for millie Bodhi/Ridoc

Ego Tripping at the Gates of Hell by almond_bonbons for lovemedarkly - Sloane/Aaric

Happy Birthday, Dain Aetos! By overjoyedisland for junespumpkin Dain/Cat

If the Fates Allow: A Solstice Anthology by thoughtsaboutshadows for kobo Violet/Xaden

in the eye of the beholder by caeli for overjoyedisland Mira POV, Violet/Xaden

Liam's sweetness by pillow for NIv Liam/Sawyer

Life, Love and Other Four Letter Words by TheWrittenMaze for Hliz Liam/Jesinia

like shadows in a faded light by alltoowellread for aspensquake Violet/Xaden

Memories Consume by lizardrunclub for amberswansong Brennan/Naolin, Violet/Xaden, Imogen/Garrick

Mistletoe and Misery by hoelixx for fantasy_bookwyrm Brennan/Naolin

The Music Of The Night by saranova for silverlude Violet/Varrish

Nakey & Bakey siobhanwrites for yanny77 Bodhi/Ridoc

Of Third Year Shenanigans by we were beautiful for almond bonbons Bodhi/Reader

"Please just go along" by korrina for headcanoncase Sloane/Aaric

Remember we die by zhenya naleva for we were beautiful Garrick/OC

Rewritten by lovemedarkly by lizardrunclub Sloane/Aaric

Shining Through the Stormy Dark by amberswansong for subs Liam/Xaden/Violet

A Shock of Curls by nivaria for Ubiquitously_ubiquitous Bodhi/Garrick

Shut Up and Fly with Me! by yanny77 for mint_chocolatechip Xaden/Garrick

Sloane and Aaric's Excellent Adventure by aspensquake for korrina Sloane/Aaric

Someone to Save You by lydibug522 for I_am_art Liam/Xaden/Violet

This Walk That We Shared Together by tegantales for zhenya Liam/Xaden

Tropical Temptation by Saranova and Tegantales for Shipmistress Liam/Xaden/Violet

Untouchable (Sloane's version) by Headcanoncase for alltoowellread Sloane/Aaric

Virtually Tame Xtra Snuggles by shipmistress for copperfirebird Violet x Tairn x Xaden x Sgaeyl

Warming Up by junes s pumpkin for Jules Dain/Xaden

What He Should Have Been All Along by suebswrites for lydibug522 Liam/Xaden

Worlds Collide by ACourtOfLadyDeath for Saranova Drake/Dain

Your memory feels like home to me by alexandia03 for justanothersarah Imogen/Garrick

[onim5]

Invicible Pain

Portgas D. Ace x reader

Warnings: Emotional pain. Swear word.

I believe this is fluff and a little angst.

Gender is never mentioned.

------------------------------------------

"If Gold Roger had a kid, we kill him."

"It be a demon child, we would have the marines execute him, immediately."

"Ha! The Marines made sure no such brat existed."

"The last thing we need is another monster."

"Such a brat doesn't deserve to live."

Boink!

"Aw, frick. What was that for?!" Ace asks, frustrated, looking at you and the book you hit him with.

Boink!

"Hey, stop that!" Ace demands. Holding up his hands so he be ready to defend himself.

"No, not until you stop being stupid." You growl, trying to hit him again with the book.

"The hell did I do now?" Ace whines. He hadn't stolen your food. . . . . yet, and when he does, you don't get this mad. Did he perhaps forget something important?

Boink!

"Oh, come on! At least tell me." Ace hiss.

"You know what you're doing!" You yelled. . . . . Ace looked at you in shock. This was the first time you were actually mad at him, and you yelled. . . . Ace felt how he tensed up. He must have messed up badly, but with what?!

"Y/n, I am really sorry for what I did, and I promise to never do it again."

Boink!

Ace's stomach felt like a heavy bag filled with stones. Whatever he did, he deserves this. He deserves death. . . .

"Now you're doing it again!" You yell, hugging him instead.

"Stop, . . . . Just stop with the self-hatred." You plea, hugging him tight. Ace felt blank. . . . . He didn't move. He couldn't.

"Ace? . . ." You call out as your eyes tried to make contact with his. All you found, though, was an empty space. His gaze was somewhere else internally. He looked hollow, but you knew he was full. Full of emotions others had given and created to him. Emotions he himself had stabilized brick by brick.

Ace eyes finally reached yours, his arms hesitatantly started hugging you back. But he didn't say anything. It was the first time someone had said it out to him. That someone had pointed it out. . . . . He wants to deny it, but he can't.

"How did you know?" Ace whispers, his voice barely adiuoable. You could feel his nails dig into you in a desperate way. He was longing for support but never showed or told anyone he needed it.

"I, I can tell. You get that dark gaze on your expression. Ace, I can feel your invisible pain. It's in your aura." You answer, hugging him more gently, more lovingly.

"I'm see-through? Like glass?" He stutters, a feeling of pathetic and failure dawning on him.

"No, you're not. Your really fucking hard to see through. You're solid with hundreds of walls. But, there's small cracks . . . . And, and I know that there's a door. Please, Ace, let me in."

And that's what he did. In his room, on his bed, he laid a little spoon in your lap. Your fingers caressing his hair with so much care and love? Listening to his story. You never gave him a reaction, just patiently sat and patted him. And so, he accidentally told you everything. About who he was and what he have become.

"I'm a monster." He murrmur, his voice broken and bitter. You didn't say anything, but your hands went to his cheeks and rubbed them gently. Ace can't stop the overwhelming feelings inside. He couldn't stop the quiet tears of pain that covered your loving hands. He couldn't stop . . . . . Finally, he tried to break out of your touch, but both you and a huge part of him stopped it.

"Why, why are you doing this? Why aren't you judging me? I'm a crying man. It's pathetic." He scoffs, once more trying to break out of your touch and love.

"Because your words have been mostly lies. Either your own or someone else's. You're a man, but also a human. you're allowed to cry. It is simply natural." You state, trapping his body in a hug.

"What do you mean?" He asks, his large hand grabbing yours.

"People's feelings have created lies, lies that have reached your ears. Their fear for Roger, a man most actually never met. Has created lies and opinions about you. And you have slowly started agreeing and building up these lies within you. It's time for you to start taking down that huge wall. I don't care if it has to be done brick by brick. Do you know why?" Ace shakes his head, his eyes looking at you.

"Because I love you."

-------------------------------

This was inspired by @captainportgasdace. Thank you. - onim5

Masterlist

[americaninferno]

i wrote up a massive timeline of gang events* and headcanons** about when might fit in where for my own writing purposes

(*only the ones i give a shit abt. sorry bill and whoever the hell else)

(**heavy on the headcanons. HEAVY on the headcanons. you will never take april aries dutch away from me tho.)

1844:

Hosea born. (Appalachia — September Virgo)

1855:

Dutch born. (Pennsylvania — April Aries)

1861:

Hosea’s parents pass, Hosea leaves Appalachia for New York. (Hosea 17)

1863:

Arthur born. (Michigan — January Capricorn)

Dutch’s father passes in the Battle of Gettysburg. (Dutch 8)

1870:

Dutch leaves home. (Dutch 15)

1873:

John born. (Indiana — November Scorpio)

1874:

They meet in NW Indiana, on the way to Chicago (Dutch 19, Hosea 30).

They fall into weird obsession/love quickly, and Dutch tries to act on it just as fast–Hosea won't allow it for about a year, when he finally gives in.

They spend 2 years bouncing around the east coast and midwest, fuckin and testing the limits of what they can pull off, going bigger and bigger

1877:

March — they're arrested for the shares scam, and break out a week later.

July — they find Arthur and adopt him, Dutch's idea. Hosea is against it. (Dutch 22, Hosea 33, Arthur 14).

1878:

Very early in the year — Dutch meets Susan, whose fiance has just died, has an extremely brief fling with her. Susan is the one who ends it, after being brought in the group and seeing Dutch and Hosea together–she's a smart woman, I think she'd realize immediately that she would never fully have Dutch's heart. Better to end it quick than go through another heartbreak. She hangs around though, bc they live like school boys and they'd be dead without her (a statement all 3 men will agree with). (Susan, 27)

Also around the same time — Hosea, while feeling slightly bitter about the way Dutch just. started some kind of Real relationship with someone else, meets Bessie. He meets her after eying her robbing a man–after tailing her for a minute, she draws a gun on him. He feels the same pull to her as he does to Dutch, and falls in love almost immediately. Dutch is extremely unhappy about it at first, but thinks it'll be like him and Susan–quick and done.

It's not.

Springtime — Hosea and Bessie agree to get out and get married. “bruised” happens. They move to a ranch.

Shortly after Hosea leaves, Dutch falls into an alliance with Colm O'Driscoll and his brother. No one fucking likes them.

End of summertime – Dutch and Hosea are missing each other terribly. They write each other letters almost every day. Dutch moves the gang to be closer to them.

End of the year — the gang stays at the ranch for the winter. Hosea has fallen back on criminal ways–he and Dutch take trips to town to pull scams (also boink).

1879:

Hosea decides to go with the gang when they head out in the spring.

Bessie decides to stay at the ranch — Hosea spends the next few years bouncing back and forth between the two. (Dutch 24, Hosea 35, Arthur 16, Susan 28, Bessie 32)

1881:

Arthur and Mary meet, and begin a courtship. Arthur spends a lot of time traveling to see her and spending time with her. (Arthur 18, Mary 17)

The old guard takes the photo that hangs on Arthur’s wagon.

Dutch meets Annabelle. (Dutch 26, Hosea 37, Susan 30, Bessie 34, Annabelle 20)

Dutch begins to plan bigger and bigger moves, working alongside Colm, much to everyone’s annoyance. Hosea particularly is outspoken against it, but Dutch won’t hear it. Dutch and Colm disagree on how scores should be split, and also spent, but Colm’s brother is even nastier than he is—Dutch ends up killing him after Colm’s brother threatens a mother and child during a heist.

Hosea wasn’t there during the job and he wasn’t there when Dutch killed Colm’s brother, or he would’ve stopped him.

Annabelle is killed by Colm quickly after.

Dutch falls into a bad depressive episode following Annabelle’s death, and Hosea writes to Bessie to let her know that he can’t leave his side. He and Bessie agree to sell the ranch, as it wasn’t sustainable. Bessie moves back in as well.

Dutch’s depressive episode ends in a manic bounce-back: he wants to go bigger, hit ‘em harder, and grow their little motley crew into a real gang.

1883:

Arthur and Mary’s courtship ends.

Hosea and Bessie take their photo. (Hosea 39, Bessie 36)

Arthur impregnates Eliza, and begins traveling to see her and splits his time between Eliza and Isaac and the gang, much like Hosea did with Bessie. (Arthur 20, Eliza 19)

1885:

John is rescued, and brought into the gang. (Dutch 30, Hosea 41, Arthur 22, Susan 34, Bessie 38, John 12).

1886:

Arthur finds Eliza and Isaac dead.

Dutch brings Arthur a puppy, in a…weird, misguided attempt to comfort him. It sort of works.

Arthur names the dog Copper.

1887:

April — First bank robbery. (Dutch 32, Hosea 43, Arthur 24, Susan 36, Bessie 40, John 14)

Most of the money is distributed to the poor.

The gang once again begins to escalate their heists—bank robberies and train robberies become regular jobs.

1888:

Bessie dies in the aftermath of a botched job. (Dutch 33, Hosea 44, Arthur 25, Susan 37, Bessie 41, John 15)

Hosea falls into a deep depression, and stops doing jobs—John begins to take his place, despite being so young. Hosea is too drunk to stop it.

In trying to bring Hosea out of his spiral, Dutch proposes the “Great American Western Adventure,” and begins moving the gang west in search of savage freedom.

1889:

Dutch begins bringing more people into the gang.

Pearson and Reverend both join the gang in this year.

1890:

Hosea recovers. (Dutch 35, Hosea 46, Arthur 27, Susan 39, John 17)

1894:

Abigail joins the gang, and quickly gets pregnant. (Dutch 39, Hosea 50, Arthur 31, Susan 43, John 21, Abigail 17)

1895:

Jack is born. (Dutch 40, Hosea 51, Arthur 32, Susan 44, John 22, Abigail 18)

1896:

John leaves for a year.

He spends most of his time wandering around, trying to find honest work, and finds that it doesn’t suit him.

1897:

John returns to the gang. (Dutch 42, Hosea 53, Arthur 34, Susan 46, John 24, Abigail 20, Jack 2)

Arthur doesn’t know what to say upon his return, and speaks with his fists instead.

Dutch and Hosea have to break them up. Arthur leaves camp for at least 2 weeks after John gets steered into Dutch’s tent—a place that’s been off-limits to him for a looonnng time.

Dutch and Hosea have their own fight about it as well—mostly over how Dutch immediately favored John in that moment, and brushed Arthur off entirely. Hosea ends up leaving camp for a few days as well. Arthur will never know that.

1899:

The game begins.

[love-toxin]

BLAKE IS JUST SO UGHHHFFSG 😩

Just how far is Blake willing to go for a baby, though? To me, he seems like a pretty well-intentioned man. Would he do scummy things like stealthing or poking holes in condoms?

So the way Blake would go about it is that he would try very, very, very hard to convince you to have his kids on your own. He truly doesn't want to force you into it--that's not good for you or the potential baby--so when it comes time for him to start thinking about it, he's not above playing the long game and waiting for you to approach the topic of kids on your own. He'll drop hints and try to convince you, hell he'll flat out ask you, but show any resistance and he'll back off and rethink his strategy. It could get to a point where he's asking and begging you all the time, coming up with 1001 reasons why you should let him put a baby in you, but it's not likely he'll resort to such twisted means...unless you threaten to leave him.

Blake would forgive you for just about anything; cheating on him, hurting him, saying cruel things or just being a bad partner overall. Anything that doesn't result in you hurting Siri in some way is completely forgiveable in his eyes. But if you want to leave him? That's inexcusable. You can't just bounce out of his life after making him fall in love with you, and especially not after showing Siri what it's like to have a real mom and a family. So what does he do?

Well, he just has to convince you to boink one more time, and it probably won't be a hard ask. He knows he's especially virile (and he's in love, so he's convinced it's easier to conceive with your soulmate ♡) so he just has to lure you into one more night with him, one last hurrah, to close off this relationship with no regrets. Blake's really good at hiding his crazy, and he's even better at keeping a straight face when you ask him for a condom; you wouldn't notice the holes even if you checked.

And after just a few weeks of anxious waiting on his end, who would've thought? You've got a little surprise to go cry to him about when that first period is missed and that test comes back positive. It seems like you were destined to be together after all, even if you're sure this will have to stay a co-parenting relationship--Blake's gonna find all sorts of ways to change his role as your baby daddy to your husband <3

[akemii14]

What if Obey Me do fasting. (Since some of the country are having fasting from before dawn until sunset...)

Don't attack me if I bring both game and Islamic believe here. I'm just doing it for fun and according to my knowledge. I did not mean to make you upset or neither did I try to change your believes as you read this. You can believe whatever you want, no toxicity allowed!

Fasting is when you did not eat and drink until sunset. Also, no hentai, porn, picking ears, picking nose, sleeping until sunset, don't mad and if you seriously ill, you better 'Sungkai' early.

(But in reality, they might be locked inside hell on Ramadan months.😅)

Lucifer - No problem! He's a Prideful demon, after all.

Unless he does thirsty trap on us like always does... Typical Horny mom demon.

Mammon - Too dumb to understand what fasting was. Eh, he'll forget about it and start eating.

Leviathan - No problem because he's a shut in, but... If he watch anime hentai, he'll screw the fasting.

Satan - If he was in calm mood, he will be succeed. But if he's Nightbrigner mood, a big no! Not only he get mad easily, he'll makes other fasting peoples get mad too 😭

Asmodeus - Absolutely... NOT! He should be boink in the horny jail! Hearing him moaning already makes peoples break their fasting! (This Mf is moaning randomly)

Beelzebud - You're asking a prince of Glutton to not eat? He'll become monster and eat a wall!!!

Belphegor - I feel like he can do fasting, but if he's not sleeping until sunset everyday! Sloth type actually have advantages (because he reminds me of myself, but I'm not a Yandere demon) like too tired to move to the kitchen when he's hungry, so he lie down and probably do stuff like playing with his D.D.D, texting or whatsoever and when the fasting time almost end, he'll prepare to fill his plate with foods.

Now, the side characters

Diavolo - Just like Lucifer, no problem (but I can feel that he's crying inside...)

Barbatos - This demon of time can do it easily and no problem, sometimes, he can even not eating for days if he want.

Simeon - He's an angel. But he doesn't exist in Islam/Muslim beliefs. I think he can?

Luke - He's an angel. But he was also doesn't exist in Islam/Muslim beliefs. So, both Simeon and Luke... I don't know. Maybe Luke is exceptional because he's young- wait, he has a form of Twelves years old...

Solomon - Few words... Prophet Sulaiman. (Literally the same person)

And lastly, the undateable:

Thirteen - Does grin reaper eat? They only reap the souls as dinner... I think.

Mephistoheles - To be honest... This mf will do anything to make Diavolo proud! So no problem. (Although he might snarled when he starve like a sassy woman. He is so dramatic)

Raphael - Judgement Trumpet Archangel according to Islam/Muslim (Israfil or Israfael.) He exist in muslim beliefs, so he can. (Does he even eat? Like... Look at his skinny bone body!)

(I don't know if angels do fasting, to be honest, so I wrote it according to game characteristics too... A bit)

[saltygilmores]

Lorelai Being Creepy, Line-Crossing, And Or Hypocritical About, With, And To Dean (And Favoring Dean Over Jess)-A Comprehensive Guide- Season 2-Part 1 (So Much More To Come)

2x1-Sadie Sadie After kissing Rory (more like sucking out her brain), Dean asks, where's your mom? Wouldn't you like to know. Sporting a rarely seen pair of Milfy glasses, Lorelai wants Dean to know she really, really missed him. Speaking in their language of special sexual metaphors, Dean pauses until asking her if she "needs her waterbottle changed." Gross. He goes out to the back porch to crank on the water bottle and let out some of that frustration. Then Lorelai needs his help "reaching a can on a high shelf." Barf.

Rory invites Dean along to a FND, and he doesn't put up any resistance, and he is surprisingly meek and behaved. Lorelai wears her skimpiest low cut nighty to dinner to arouse their special guest.

Quote: "Tonight you walk in with this beautiful boy" Lorelai thinks Richard is hostile to Dean because Dean could get Rory pregnant. Rory says, I won't get pregnant, to which Lorelai responds "I know." How do we know this, exactly, did you get his sperm count checked? 2x2, Hammers and Veils As Rory is leaving for her home building gig, Dean finds her and starts being an ass. Rory suggests that Dean go inside and see her mom instead of bugging her. That boink session will buy Rory about a 15 second head start to get away from him. Dean stalks her again as she's returning and wants Rory to steal her mother's wallet so they can go to the movies. Proceeds to verbally abuse her.

After said verbal abuse, Rory returns to Lorelai, worried about how her lack of extra curricular activities will hinder her college admission chances. Lorelai's advice about said college planning is to "relax and call Dean to come cover"

and then

2x3, Red Light on The Wedding Night Dean and Rory double date with Max and Lorelai. Super weird and awkward, constantly going on double dates with your mom. Dean tells Max that if he marries Lorelai he should expect Lorelai to do crazy things like pretend pizza toppings can talk. How many other teenage boys know this much specific shit about their girlfriend's mom? Max: Say you’re not here, and I come home at 11pm and I find Dean and Rory making out on the couch? What do I do? Lorelai Big Fat Fucking Hypocrite Gilmore: *shrugs*: They’re teenagers, they can kiss (at night, on the couch, unsupervised) (unlike someone else who is not allowed to kiss Rory on a couch)

2x4, Road Trip To Harvard Quote: "Are you hungry enough to risk having to answer 100 questions about Chilton, your life in a small town, and your hunky hunky boyfriend?"

2x5, Nick & Nora and Sid and Nancy Lorelai is unphased over the multiple incidents of Dean mouthing off to her, but when Jess does it once the first time he meets her (and Lorelai is just this totally random strange lady to him at this point) she holds it against him for years and makes his life a living hell. Then things are kind of quiet on the DALA front for a while. 2x9 Lorelai calls Rory's relationship with Dean "a really good thing you have going." Lorelai goes on a date with a young guy she meets in college and later realizes everyone in town is calling her a pedophile. Perish the thought. 2x11, Secrets & Loans After Dean throws a basketball "past" Rory's head, Rory tells Dean that she got in a fight with her mom. Dean has nothing useful to say, but that Rory and Lorelai are both stubborn and refers to the "amazing, wonderful qualities that you and your mother share"

2x12, Richard in Stars Hollow Richard is rightfully concerned about Rory riding around in the death trap Dean built. Dean repeatedly mouths off to Richard in front of Lorelai, Rory, and Emily. Lorelai is unphased. Lorelai of course comes to Dean's defense, referring to said Deathmobile as "The nice thing he did for Rory", like a home made car is equivalent to gifting her a mug. Rory just stands there unquestioning and lets the grownups decide her fate. 2x13, A Tisket a Tasket Oh boy is this one a doozy.

The obligatory "Dean is hunky/pretty" At the market, Dean says the reason he doesn't like Jess is because he is breathing. Dean's measured response to losing a charity auction for a picnic basket to Jess is "I'm going to kill him." and also leaves a vague threat hanging in the air about this "being the last time". Rory tells him to calm down. Dean has a complete meltdown. He tries to blame Rory for Jess winning the basket, then tries to tell her she's not allowed to go on the picnic. When that doesn't work, he tries to manipulates Rory into believing she "hurt" him. Luke tells Lorelai that she needs therapy. Bless.

Look at her gazing at Dean with her puppy dog eyes. Dean interrupts Lorelai, but she demurs to his alpha male authority and instantly shuts up, something she does for no other man, woman or child. Lorelai agrees with her daughter's boyfriend that this other boy, Jess " has issues". Dean tries to describe why he's wary of Jess, to wit:

Oh, that Jess, always being around and existing. How dare he. What an asshole. Dean thinks "Jess will get her in trouble, I just know it" and Jess is only using Rory to "Drive him crazy". Lorelai takes these vague premonitions from Dean that he pulled out of his ass as a ringing endorsement to make both Rory's and her future nephew's lives a living hell. For the record, Dean and Jess have barely interacted on screen at this point. Dean is concerned that Jess is often tardy to school (???) Mr "I Could Care Less about Harvard" doesn't even care about Rory's academic progress, but he's observant enough and concerned about how often Jess is late to class? OKAY!

Lorelai says Dean sounds jealous, but this goes nowhere. Dean insinuates that Rory is only friendly to Jess because she's friendly to everyone. So, you too? Lorelai says Dean has to trust Rory, but they (both Dean and Lorelai) don't have to trust Jess. It's so fucking weird when they team up like this against Rory. Lorelai tells Dean that "Flying off the handle won't get you what you want." Another super fucking weird thing to say in reference to your own kid. After Lorelai frets about Jess "not being the nicest kid" "the fighting and the stealing and the cutting school and the vandalism" blah blah blah, Rory asks how she knows these things. Lorelai states "they're things she's seen and heard." From Dean. And Dean is really upset about...Jess cutting school and stealing? Dean sad=Lorelai sad. Dean's feelings are the only thing that matter to our MILF. Milfy refuses to listen to Rory, like at all. Lorelai says "Dean just needed someone to talk to." Get a parrot. Who the hell goes to their girlfriend's mom for dating advice? Where's your own mom at, Dean? Lorelai blames Rory for not being emotionally available at the drop of a hat for Dean because she was with Jess. Lorelai, hilariously, claims she's not taking sides. Mentions "Dean being concerned about you hanging out with someone who could hurt you" for a second time. Lorelai refers to Jess "making a lot of enemies" (who's fault is it that an entire town makes a 17 year old kid their enemy?). and that Rory is "So young and naive and nice and gives everyone a chance", insinuating she's too stupid to make her own decisions on who she should date. If Rory's friendship with Jess doesn't have Dean's stamp of approval, then it doesn't have Mommy's either. At this point I just fucking rage quit the episode.

I attempted to watch a few more seconds only to hear Lorelai say "I didn’t like Dean at first because I didn’t know him, I don’t like Jess because I know him.” Rage quit again! More DALA nightmares to come.

[hellaversity]

I scratch my head in confusion every time I see Stolitz antis who hate the ship for being "toxic" and then turn out to be Blitzker/Blitzika/Stolas x Stella shippers, when those ships are more toxic then Stolitz could ever be.

Not saying that Stolitz is sunshine and rainbows by any means. It's definitely unhealthy to a degree, but Striker literally tried to murder Stolas twice, tried to kill M&M several times and even tried to kill Fizz. I doubt Blitzø will ever forgive him for that. Blitzø and Verosika do have a chance of reconciling, but it'll take a while and right now Verosika doesn't look like she'll be over her breakup anytime soon. She also ordered her posse to gangbang Moxxie without his consent just to spite Blitzø, so I don't think he'll just gloss over that so easily to get back with her. And don't even get me started on Stolas x Stella, a marriage that had no love to begin with and only came to be for the purpose of producing a precautionary heir to the Goetia throne.

Meanwhile the entire point of Stolitz is that both Stolas and Blitzø are trying to make their dynamic work better. They want something more of their relationship than just boinking. Both sides know that they've wronged each other. Blitzø has shown on several subtle occasions that he repicrocates Stolas' feelings for him. He saved his life from Striker in Harvest Moon Festival. "Just Look My Way" is all about Stolas knowing he owes an apology to Blitzø for treating him like a sex object. The only reason he did in the first place is because Blitzø seduced him first and he thought that was what Blitzø wanted out of a realtionship, only to realize that he only seduced him to steal the grimoire behind his back.

You can dislike Stolitz as much as you want, more power to you. I don't care if you wanna ship Blitzø with Striker or Verosika, go right ahead. Hell, I don't even care if you wanna ship Stolas and Stella together as long as you acknowledge the fact that it's abusive and loveless. But PLEASE don't be a hypocrite and contradict yourself.