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alex-the-bard · 5 months

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i finished the KOSA

On the Subject of Safety

Blaine/Alex Smith

A paper on the harmful effects of the Kid’s Online Safety Act (informally known as KOSA) on the internet as a whole, as written by a minor.

Censorship. Control. Tyranny. All of these will come to pass if we allow the Kids Online Safety Act (KOSA) to become law and cause the internet as we know it to cease to exist, completely and utterly. KOSA is a new bill that has been introduced by senators Blumenthal and Blackburn, which has the stated goal “to protect the safety of children on the internet” (found on the official website of the United States Congress, here.) This is either a lie, or an incredibly misguided attempt to do what it says it sets out to do. Though it is more likely a lie, or at the very least not the entire truth. First, I must note, if for no other reason than posterity and comprehensiveness, that the bill was introduced by both a Republican senator (Blackburn) and a Democratic senator (Blumenthal). It was also backed by twenty-one Democrats (Lujan, Baldwin, Klobuchar, Peters, Hickenlooper, Warner, Coons, Schatz, Murphy, Welch, Hassan, Durbin, Casey, Whitehouse, Kelly, Carper, Cardin, Menendez, Warren, Kaine, and Shaheen) and nineteen Republicans (Capito, Cassidy, Ernst, Daines, Rubio, Sullivan, Young, Grassley, Graham, Marshall, Hyde-Smith, Mullin, Risch, Britt, Lummis, Murkowski, Lankford, Crapo, and Hawley). That totals forty-two supporters of this heinous piece of legislature. Considering that there are one-hundred Senators, if you do some simple math, you will realize that fifty-eight Senators did not support KOSA. In the context of this monumental decision, that is a frighteningly close vote. If this bill were to pass, nearly all online fandom presence would be completely eradicated, and online privacy, as well as personal autonomy, would become nonexistent. And so, I say it again, KOSA supporters are just barely not the majority in the Senate, by a margin of sixteen individuals. Even though the rewrite of the bill is a slight improvement, at it’s core, KOSA is still a harmful internet censorship bill that will damage the very communities it claims to try protect.

In this bill, a “child” is defined as any person under the age of thirteen, and a “minor” is defined as any person under the age of seventeen. A "parent” is defined as any legal adult who is the biological or adopted parent of a minor, or holds legal custody over a minor. “Compulsive usage” is defined as “any response stimulated by external factors that causes an individual to engage in repetitive behavior reasonably likely to cause psychological distress, loss of control, anxiety or depression”, “Covered platforms” are defined as “an online platform (i.e. Snapchat, Tumblr, Reddit, Twitter/X, Facebook, Instagram, etc.), online video game (i.e. Helldivers 2, Halo, Mario Kart, Civilization 6, etc.), messaging platform (i.e. Snapchat, 4chan, etc.), or video streaming service (i.e. Twitch, YouTube, etc.) that connects to the internet that is used, or is reasonably likely to be used, by a minor” with the exception of “an entity acting in its capacity of: a common carrier service subject to the Communications Act of 1934 (47 U.S.C. 151 et seq.) and all Acts amendatory thereof and supplementary thereto, a broadband internet access service (as such term is defined for purposes of section 8.1(b) of title 47, Code of Federal Regulations, or any successor regulation), an email service, a teleconferencing or video conferencing service that allows reception and transmission of audio and video signals for real-time communication, provided that it is not an online platform, including a social media service or social network; and the real-time communication is initiated using a unique link or identifier to facilitate access, or a wireless messaging service, including such a service provided through short messaging service or multimedia messaging service protocols, that is not a component of or linked to an online platform and where the predominant or exclusive function is direct messaging consisting of the transmission of text, photos or videos that are sent by electronic means, where messages are transmitted from the sender to a recipient, and are not posted within an online platform or publicly, an organization not organized to carry on business for its own profit or that of its members, any public or private institution of education, a library, a news platform where the inclusion of video content on the platform is related to the platform’s own gathering, reporting or publishing of news content or the website or app is not otherwise an online platform, a product or service the primarily functions as a business to business software or a VPN or similar service that exists solely to route internet traffic between locations.

Geolocation is defined as “information sufficient to identify a street name and name of a city or town.” Individual-specific advertising to minors is defined as any form of targeted advertising towards a person who is or reasonably could be a minor, with the exception of advertising in the context of the website or app the advertising is present on, (i.e. an ad for Grammarly on a dictionary website), or for research on the effectiveness of the advertising. The rule of construction is stated to be that "no part of KOSA should be misconstrued to prohibit a lawfully operating entity from delivering content to any person that they know to be or reasonably believe is over the age of seventeen, provided that content is appropriate for the age of the person involved". To "know" something in the context of this bill is to have actual information, or to have information that is fairly implied or assumed under the basis of objective circumstances. A “mental health disorder” is defined as “a condition which causes a clinically significant disturbance or impairment on one’s cognition, emotional regulation, or behavior. “Online platform” is defined as any public platform that mainly provides a means of communication through the form of a public forum or private chatroom (i.e., Discord, Reddit, Tumblr, Twitter, TikTok, etc.). An “online video game” is defined as any video game or game-adjacent service, including those that provide an educational element, that allows users to create or upload content, engage in microtransactions, communicate with other users, or includes minor specific advertising (i.e., Happy Wheels, Adventure Academy, Meet Your Maker, etc.). “Personal data” is defined as any data or information that is linked or could reasonably be linked to a minor. A “personalized recommendation system (PRS)” is defined as any system that presents content to a user based on date and/or analytics from the user or similar users (i.e., a like-based system, a view-based system, a “for you” system, or a “people that watched also liked” system). Finally, “sexual exploitation or abuse” is defined as: coercion and enticement, as described in section 2422 of title 18, United States Code, child sexual abuse material, as described in sections 2251, 2252, 2252A, and 2260 of title 18, United States Code, trafficking for the production of images (child pornography), as described in section 2251A of title 18, United States Code, or sex trafficking of children, as described in section 1591 of title 18, United States Code.

Before I continue with this paper, I would like to draw attention to the fact that nowhere in the defined terms does it define any form of physical, mental, or emotional violence towards minors, only sexual abuse or assault. This will become important later.

Continuing with the bill, we arrive at the actual regulations, policies and laws proposed by the bill. Here begins Section 3 of the bill, or “Duty of care”. This section includes regulations on the online platform used by a minor, and the duties of it and its owner(s), creator(s), moderator(s), or manager(s). In this section, it is stated that a covered platform must, to the best of its reasonable ability, limit the following harms or dangers to any person who is known to be or reasonably believed to be a minor:

Anxiety, depression, substance use disorders, suicidal disorders, and other similar conditions.

Patterns of use that promote or encourage addiction-like behavior.

Physical violence, online bullying, and harassment of the minor.

Sexual exploitation or abuse.

Promotion and marketing of narcotic drugs (as defined in section 102 of the Controlled Substances Act (21 U.S.C. 802)), tobacco products, gambling, or alcohol.

Predatory, unfair, or deceptive marketing, or other financial harms.

With the exception of:

Any content that is deliberately, independently, and willingly requested or sought out by the minor.

Any platform that provides resources or information to help mitigate the aforementioned harms to the minor.

Again, I call attention to the fact that although physical violence is now mentioned and prohibited, it is done so by burying it in the middle of a wall of text. With as touchy of a subject as this is, one would think that more attention would be drawn to it.

And now we get into the meat and potatoes of this rotten bill, with Section 4, or “Safeguards for minors”. In this section, it is stated that any covered platform shall provide any user who is known to be a minor or is reasonably believed to be a minor, with easy-to-use and readily accessible “safeguards” such as:

Limiting the ability of other individuals to communicate with the minor.

Restricting public access to the personal data of the minor.

Limiting features that increase, sustain, or extend use of the covered platform by the minor, such as automatic playing of media, rewards for time spent on the platform, notifications, and other features that result in compulsive usage of the covered platform by the minor.

Controlling personalized recommendation systems for the minor, and giving them the option to either opt out of the system entirely or to limit the types of content shown through the PRS.

Restricting the sharing of GPS data of the minor sufficient for geolocation.

As well as the options for the minor:

Delete the account of the minor, as well as any data or content associated with the account, effectively removing any trace of the account’s existence from the platform, and the internet at large.

Limit the amount of time spent on the platform.

A covered platform shall also provide parents with the following tools:

Requirements:

The ability to manage a minor’s privacy and account settings, including the safeguards and options established under subsection (a), in a manner that allows parents to:

View the privacy and account settings of the minor.

In the case of a user that the platform knows is a child, change and control the privacy and account settings of the account of the minor.

Restrict purchases and financial transactions by the minor, where applicable.

View metrics of total time spent on the platform and restrict time spent on the covered platform by the minor.

The bill also states that any minor(s) affected by the aforementioned systems should be given clear, prompt, and easily understood and accessible notice of if the systems have been applied, in what capacity they are applied in, and how they are applied.

Default Tools:

A covered platform shall provide the following tools and systems to both minor and parent(s) of that minor, and have them be enabled by default:

A reporting mechanism, which is readily available and easily accessible and useable, to report any incidents or crimes involving the minor(s), as well as confirmation that such a report is received, and the means to track it.

To respond to the report in a timely and appropriate manner, within a reasonable timeframe.

An understanding and appreciation of the fact that a reasonable timeframe is:

(A) 10 days (about 1 and a half weeks) after the receipt of a report, if, for the most recent calendar year, the platform averaged more than 10,000,000 active users monthly in the United States.

(B) 21 days (about 3 weeks) after the receipt of a report, if, for the most recent calendar year, the platform averaged less than 10,000,000 active users monthly in the United States.

(C) notwithstanding subparagraphs (A) and (B), if the report involves an imminent threat to the safety of a minor, as promptly as needed to address the reported threat to safety.

Accessibility :

With respect to the aforementioned safeguards, a covered platform shall provide:

Information and control options in a clear and conspicuous manner that takes into consideration the differing ages, capacities, and developmental needs of the minors most likely to access the covered platform and does not encourage minors or parents to weaken or disable safeguards or parental controls.

Readily accessible and easy-to-use controls to enable or disable safeguards or parental controls, as appropriate.

Information and control options in the same language, form, and manner as the covered platform provides the product or service used by minors and their parents.

The bill also states that no part of the previous statements should be construed to prohibit or prevent a covered platform from blocking, banning, filtering, flagging, or deleting content inappropriate for minors from their platform, or to prevent general management of spam, as well as security risks. It also states that regarding PRSs, it shall be illegal for a covered platform to alter or distort any analytics or data gathered from their platform with the purpose of limiting user autonomy. Also included in this section is that no part of KOSA shall be construed to require the disclosure of a minor’s personal data, including search history, contacts, messages, and location. Also stated is that a PRS for a minor is allowed under the condition that it only uses data publicly available, such as the language the minor speaks, or the minor’s age, and that covered platforms are allowed to integrate third-party systems into their platform, if they meet the requirements laid out in the bill.

And now our train arrives at Section 5, “Disclosure”. This section includes rules regarding the disclosure of policies, rules, and terms to a user that is a minor or is reasonably believed to be a minor prior to their registration with a covered platform.

Registration or Purchase:

Prior to registration or purchase of a covered platform, the platform must provide clear and easily understood information on the policies of the platform, its rules, regulations, etc. As well as any PRS used by the platform, and information on how to turn it and the parental controls on and off.

Notification:

Notice and Acknowledgement, Reasonable Effort, and Consolidated Notices:

In the case of an individual that a covered platform knows is a child, the platform shall additionally provide information about the parental tools and safeguards required under section 4 to a parent of the child and obtain verifiable parental consent (as defined in section 1302(9) of the Children's Online Privacy Protection Act (15 U.S.C. 6501(9))) from the parent prior to the initial use of the covered platform by the child.

A covered platform shall be deemed to have satisfied the requirement described in subparagraph (A) if the covered platform is in compliance with the requirements of the Children's Online Privacy Protection Act (15 U.S.C. 6501 et seq.) to use reasonable efforts (taking into consideration available technology) to provide a parent with the information and to obtain verifiable parental consent as required.

A covered platform may consolidate the process for providing information under this subsection and obtaining verifiable parental consent or the consent of the minor involved (as applicable) as required under this subsection with its obligations to provide relevant notice and obtain verifiable parental consent under the Children's Online Privacy Protection Act (15 U.S.C. 6501 et seq.).

Guidance: the FTC may assist covered platforms with compliance with the rules and regulations in this section.

A covered platform that operates a personalized recommendation system shall set out in its terms and conditions, in a clear, conspicuous, and easy-to-understand manner:

An overview of how such personalized recommendation system is used by the covered platform to provide information to users of the platform who are minors, including how such systems use the personal data of minors; and

Information about options for minors or their parents to opt out of or control the personalized recommendation system (as applicable).

Advertising and Marketing Information and Labels:

A covered platform that facilitates advertising aimed at users that the platform knows are minors shall provide clear, conspicuous, and easy-to-understand information and labels to minors on advertisements regarding:

The name of the product, service, or brand and the subject matter of an advertisement;

If the covered platform engages in individual-specific advertising to minors, why a particular advertisement is directed to a specific minor, including material information about how the minor's personal data is used to direct the advertisement to the minor; and

Whether media displayed to the minor is an advertisement or marketing material, including disclosure of endorsements of products, services, or brands made for commercial consideration by other users of the platform.

Resources for Parents and Minors:

A covered platform shall provide to minors and parents clear, conspicuous, easy-to-understand, and comprehensive information in a prominent location regarding:

Its policies and practices with respect to personal data and safeguards for minors.

How to access the safeguards and tools required under section four.

Resources in Additional Languages:

A covered platform shall ensure, to the extent practicable, that the disclosures required by this section are made available in the same language, form, and manner as the covered platform provides any product or service used by minors and their parents.

That concludes Section 5, and now our next stop is Section 6: “Transparency”. This section includes protocols for public transparency for covered platforms, including public reports on the status of potential harm to minors on their platforms.

Scope of Application: the requirements of this section shall apply to a covered platform if:

For the most recent calendar year, the platform averaged more than 10,000,000 active users monthly in the United States.

The platform predominantly provides a community forum for user-generated content and discussion, including sharing videos, images, games, audio files, discussion in a virtual setting, or other content, such as acting as a social media platform, virtual reality environment, or a social network service.

Transparency: The public reports required of a covered platform under this section shall include:

An assessment of the extent to which the platform is likely to be accessed by minors;

A description of the commercial interests of the covered platform in use by minors;

An accounting, based on the data held by the covered platform, of:

The number of individuals using the covered platform reasonably believed to be minors in the United States;

The median and mean amounts of time spent on the platform by minors in the United States who have accessed the platform during the reporting year on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis; and

The amount of content being accessed by individuals that the platform knows to be minors that is in English, and the top 5 non-English languages used by individuals accessing the platform in the United States;

An accounting of total reports received regarding, and the prevalence (which can be based on scientifically valid sampling methods using the content available to the covered platform in the normal course of business) of content related to, the harms described in section 3, disaggregated by category of harm and language, including English and the top five non-English languages used by individuals accessing the platform from the United States.

A description of any material breaches of parental tools or assurances regarding minors, representations regarding the use of the personal data of minors, and other matters regarding non-compliance.

Reasonably Foreseeable Risk of Harm to Minors: the public reports required of covered platforms under this section shall include:

An assessment of the reasonably foreseeable risk of harm to minors posed by the covered platform, including identifying any other physical, mental, developmental, or financial harms.

An assessment of how personalized recommendation systems and individual-specific advertising to minors can contribute to harm to minors.

A description of whether and how the covered platform uses system design features that increase, sustain, or extend use of a product or service by a minor, such as automatic playing of media, rewards for time spent, and notifications.

A description of whether, how, and for what purpose the platform collects or processes categories of personal data that may cause reasonably foreseeable risk of harm to minors.

An evaluation of the efficacy of safeguards for minors under section 4, and any issues in delivering such safeguards and the associated parental tools.

An evaluation of any other relevant matters of public concern over risk of harm to minors.

An assessment of differences in risk of harm to minors across different English and non-English languages and efficacy of safeguards in those languages.

Mitigation: The public reports required of a covered platform under this section shall include, for English and the top 5 non-English languages used by individuals accessing the platform from the United States:

A description of the safeguards and parental tools available to minors and parents on the covered platform.

A description of interventions by the covered platform when it had or has reason to believe that harms to minors could occur.

A description of the prevention and mitigation measures intended to be taken in response to the known and emerging risks identified in its assessment of system risks, including steps taken to:

Prevent harm to minors, including adapting or removing system design features or addressing through parental controls.

Provide the most protective level of control over privacy and safety by default.

Adapt recommendation systems to mitigate reasonably foreseeable risk of harms to minors.

A description of internal processes for handling reports and automated detection mechanisms for harms to minors, including the rate, timeliness, and effectiveness of responses.

The status of implementing prevention and mitigation measures identified in prior assessments.

A description of the additional measures to be taken by the covered platform to address the circumvention of safeguards for minors and parental tools.

Reasonable Inspection: when conducting an inspection on the systemic risk of harm to minors on their platforms under this section, a covered platform shall:

Consider the function any PRS on their platform.

Consult relevant parties with authority on topics relevant to the inspection.

Conduct their research based on experiences of minors using the platform that the study is being conducted on, including reports and information provided by law enforcement.

Take account of outside research, but not outside data for the study itself.

Consider any implied, indicated, inferred, or known information on the age of users.

Consider the presence of both English and non-English speaking users on their platform.

Cooperation With Independent, Third Pary Audit: To facilitate the report required by this section, a covered platform shall:

Provide directly or otherwise make accessible to the third party conducting the audit all:

Information and data that the platform has the access and authority to disclose that are relevant to the audit.

Platforms, systems and assets that the platform has the access and authority to disclose that are relevant to the audio.

Facts relevant to the audit, unaltered and correctly and fully represented.

Privacy Safeguards: In this subsection, the term “de-identified” means data that does not identify and is not linked or reasonably linkable to a device that is linked or reasonably linkable to an individual, regardless of whether the information is aggregated. In issuing the public reports required under this section, a covered platform shall take steps to safeguard the privacy of its users, including ensuring that data is presented in a de-identified, aggregated format such that it is reasonably impossible for the data to be linked back to any individual user. A covered platform must also present or publish the information on a publicly available and accessible webpage.

And now the next stop on our tour is Section 7: Independent Research on Social Media and Minors. This section details the interactions between the FTC and the National Academy of Sciences in the months following the passing of this bill, if and when it passes. It states that the FTC is to seek to enter a contract with the Academy, in which the Academy is to conduct no less that 5 separate independent scientific studies on the risk of harms to minors on social media, addressing:

Anxiety, depression, eating and suicidal disorders.

Substance use (drugs, narcotics, alcohol, etc.) and gambling.

Sexual exploitation and abuse.

Addiction like behaviors leading to compulsive usage.

Additional Study: after at least 4 years since the passing of the bill, the FTC and the Academy shall enter another contract, in which the Academy shall conduct another study on the above topics, to provide more up to data information.

Content of Reports: The comprehensive studies and reports conducted pursuant to this section shall seek to evaluate impacts and advance understanding, knowledge, and remedies regarding the harms to minors posed by social media and other online platforms and may include recommendations related to public policy.

Active Studies: If the Academy is already engaged in any extant studies regarding the topics described above, it may base the studies required of this section off said study, if it is otherwise compliant.

Collaboration: In conducting the studies required under this section, the FTC, National Academy of Sciences, and the Secretary of Health and Human Services shall consult with the Surgeon General and the Kids Online Safety Council (KOSC).

Access to Data: The FTC may issue orders to covered platforms to gather and compile data and information needed for the studies required under this section, as well as issue orders under section 6(b) of the Federal Trade Commission Act (15 U.S.C. 46(b)) to no more than 5 covered platforms per study under this section. Pursuant to subsections (b) and (f) of section 6 of the Federal Trade Commission Act (15 U.S.C. 46), the FTC shall also enter in agreements with the National Academy to share appropriate information received from a covered platform pursuant to an order under such subsection (b) for a comprehensive study under this section in a confidential and secure manner, and to prohibit the disclosure or sharing of such information by the National Academy.

Next is a short Section 8: Market Research.

Market Research by Covered Platforms: The FTC, in consultation with the Secretary of Commerce, shall issue guidance for covered platforms seeking to conduct market- and product-focused research on minors. Such guidance shall include:

A standard consent form that provides minors and their parents a clear, conspicuous, and easy-to-understand explanation of the scope and purpose of the research to be conducted, and provides an opportunity for informed consent in the language in which the parent uses the covered platform; and

Recommendations for research practices for studies that may include minors, disaggregated by the age ranges of 0-5, 6-9, 10-12, and 13-16.

The FTC shall issue such guidance no later than 18 months (about 1 and a half years) after the date of enactment of this Act. In doing so, they shall seek input from members of the public and the representatives of the KOSC established under section 12.

As we pull off interstate 8 we come into Section 9: Age Verification Study and Report. This is where the writers evidently started pounding shots of tequila at their desks, as some of the regulations in this section are completely asinine. Here we are told about a mandatory age verification system. Gone will be the days of being born in 1427 as a kid, now our age will be known to any covered platform. Is that what you want?

Study: The Director of the National Institute of Standards and Technology, in coordination with the FCC, FTC, and the SoC, shall conduct a study evaluating the most technologically feasible methods and options for developing systems to verify age at the device or operating system level.

Such study shall consider:

The benefits of creating a device or operating system level age verification system.

What information may need to be collected to create this type of age verification system.

The accuracy of such systems and their impact or steps to improve accessibility, including for individuals with disabilities.

How such a system or systems could verify age while mitigating risks to user privacy and data security and safeguarding minors' personal data, emphasizing minimizing the amount of data collected and processed by covered platforms and age verification providers for such a system.

The technical feasibility, including the need for potential hardware and software changes, including for devices currently in commerce and owned by consumers.

The impact of different age verification systems on competition, particularly the risk of different age verification systems creating barriers to entry for small companies.

Report: No later than 1 year after the passing of KOSA, the agencies described in subsection (a) shall submit a report containing the results of the study conducted under such subsection to the Committee on Commerce, Science, and Transportation of the Senate and the Committee on Energy and Commerce of the House of Representatives.

Section 10: Guidance.

No later than 18 months (about 1 and a half years) after the date of enactment of this Act, the FTC, in consultation with the KOSC established under section 12, shall issue guidance to:

Provide information and examples for covered platforms and auditors regarding the following, with consideration given to differences across English and non-English languages:

Identifying features used to increase, sustain, or extend use of the covered platform by a minor (compulsive usage).

Safeguarding minors against the possible misuse of parental tools.

Best practices in providing minors and parents the most protective level of control over privacy and safety.

Using indicia or inferences of age of users for assessing use of the covered platform by minors.

Methods for evaluating the efficacy of safeguards; and

Providing additional control options that allow parents to address the harms described in section 3.

Outline conduct that does not have the purpose or substantial effect of subverting or impairing user autonomy, decision-making, or choice, or of causing, increasing, or encouraging compulsive usage for a minor, such as:

Minute user interface changes derived from testing consumer preferences, including different styles, layouts, or text, where such changes are not done with the purpose of weakening or disabling safeguards or parental controls, such as the following, are exceptions to this:

Algorithms or data outputs outside the control of a covered platform.

The establishing of default settings that provide enhanced privacy protection to users or otherwise enhance their autonomy and decision-making ability.

Guidance to Schools: No later than 18 months (about 1 and a half years) after the date of enactment of this act, the SoE, in consultation with the FTC and the KOSC established under section 12, shall issue guidance to assist to assist elementary and secondary schools in using the notice, safeguards and tools provided under this Act and providing information on online safety for students and teachers.

Guidance on Knowledge Standards: No later than 18 months (about 1 and a half years) after the date of enactment of this act, the FTC shall issue guidance to provide information, including best practices and examples, for covered platforms to understand the Commission’s determination of whether a covered platform “had knowledge fairly implied on the basis of objective circumstances” for purposes of this act.

Limitation on FTC Guidance: No guidance issued by the FTC with respect to this act shall:

Confer any rights on any person, State, or locality; or

Operate to bind the FTC or any person to the approach recommended in such guidance.

Enforcement Actions: In any enforcement action made to a covered platform in violation of this act, the FTC:

Shall allege a violation of this act.

May not base such enforcement action on, or execute a consent order based on, practices that are alleged to be inconsistent with guidance issued by the FTC with respect to this aact, unless the practices are alleged to violate a provision of this act.

And now we’re almost on the home stretch, with Section 11, otherwise known as Enforcement. This section outlines, you guessed it, the enforcement of this act.

Enforcement by the FTC:

Unfair and Deceptive Acts or Practices: A violation of this act shall be treated as a violation of a rule defining an unfair or deceptive act or practice prescribed under section 18(a)(1)(B) of the Federal Trade Commission Act.

Powers of the Commission: The FTC shall enforce this act in the same manner, by the same means, and with the same jurisdiction, powers, and duties as though all applicable terms and provisions of the Federal Trade Commission Act (15 U.S.C. 41 et seq.) were incorporated into and made a part of this act.

Privileges and Immunities: Any person that violates this act shall be subject to the penalties, and entitled to the privileges and immunities, provided in the Federal Trade Commission Act (15 U.S.C. 41 et seq.).

Authority Preserved: Nothing in this act shall be construed to limit the authority of the FTC under any other provision of law.

Enforcement by State Attorney General:

Civil Actions: In any case in which the attorney general of a State has reason to believe that an interest of the residents of that State has been or is threatened or adversely affected by the engagement of any person in a practice that violates this act, the State, as parens patrie (de facto parent of any citizens unable to defend themselves) , may bring a civil action on behalf of the residents of the State in a district court of the United States or a State court of appropriate jurisdiction to:

Enjoin that practice.

Enforce compliance with this act.

On behalf of residents of the State, obtain damages, restitution, or other compensation, each of which shall be distributed in accordance with State law.

Obtain such other relief as the court may consider to be appropriate.

Notice: Before filing an action, the attorney general of the State involved shall provide to the Commission:

Written notice of that action.

A copy of the complaint for that action.

Exemption: Clause (i) shall not apply with respect to the filing of an action by an attorney general of a State under this paragraph if the attorney general of the State determines that it is not feasible to provide the notice described in that clause before the filing of the action.

Notification: In an action described in subclause (I), the attorney general of a State shall provide notice and a copy of the complaint to the Commission at the same time as the attorney general files the action.

Intervention: On receiving notice, the Commission shall have the right to intervene in the action that is the notice's subject.

Effect of Intervention: If the Commission intervenes in an action under paragraph (1), it shall have the right:

To be heard with respect to any matter that arises in that action.

To file a petition for appeal.

Construction: For purposes of bringing any civil action under paragraph (1), nothing in this act shall be construed to prevent an attorney general of a State from exercising the powers conferred on the attorney general by the laws of that State to:

Conduct investigations;

Administer oaths or affirmations.

Compel the attendance of witnesses or the production of documentary and other evidence.

Actions by the Commission: In any case in which an action is instituted by or on behalf of the Commission for violation of this act, no State may, during the pendency of that action, institute a separate action under paragraph (1) against any defendant named in the complaint in the action instituted by or on behalf of the Commission for that violation.

Venue; Service of Progress:

Venue: Any action brought under paragraph (1) may be brought in either:

The district court of the United States that meets applicable requirements relating to venue under section 1391 of title 28, United States Code.

A State court of competent authority.

Service of Progress: In an action brought under paragraph (1) in a district court of the United States, process may be served wherever the defendant:

Is an inhabitant.

May be found.

And now we are going to hear about the Kids Online Safety Council we’ve been hearing so much about in the last few sections in Section 12: Kids Online Safety Council.

Establishment: No later than 180 days (about 6 months) after the enactment date of this act, the Secretary of Commerce shall establish and convene the Kids Online Safety Council to provide advice on matters related to this act.

The Kids Online Safety Council shall include diverse participation from:

Academic experts, health professionals, and members of civil society with expertise in mental health, substance use disorders, and the prevention of harm to minors.

Representatives in academia and civil society with specific expertise in privacy and civil liberties.

Parents and youth representation.

Representatives of covered platforms.

Representatives of the NTIA, the NIST, the FTC, the DoJ, and the DHHS.

(6) State attorneys general or their designees acting in State or local government.

Educators.

Representatives of communities of socially disadvantaged individuals (as defined in section 8 of the Small Business Act (15 U.S.C. 637)).

Activities: The matters to be addressed by the Kids Online Safety Council shall include:

Identifying emerging or current risks of harm to minors associated with online platforms.

Recommending measures and methods for assessing, preventing, and mitigating harms to minors online.

Recommending methods and themes for conducting research regarding online harms to minors, including in English and non-English languages.

Recommending best practices and clear, consensus-based technical standards for transparency reports and audits, as required under this a ct, including methods, criteria, and scope to promote overall accountability.

And now for Section 13, Filter Bubble Transparency Requirements. Almost to the end!

Definitions: In this section:

The term “algorithmic ranking system” means a computational process, including one derived from algorithmic decision-making, machine learning, statistical analysis, or other data processing or artificial intelligence techniques, used to determine the selection, order, relative prioritization, or relative prominence of content from a set of information that is provided to a user on a covered internet platform, including the ranking of search results, the provision of content recommendations, the display of social media posts, or any other method of automated content selection.

The term “approximate geolocation information” means information that identifies the location of an individual, but with a precision of less than 5 miles.

The term “Commission” means the Federal Trade Commission.

The term “connected device” means an electronic device that:

Can connect to the internet, either directly or indirectly through a network, to communicate information in the direction of an individual.

Has computer processing capabilities for collecting, sending, receiving, or analyzing data.

Is primarily designed for or marketed to consumers.

Covered Internet Platform: The term “covered internet platform” means any public-facing website, internet application, or mobile application, including a social network site, video sharing service, search engine, or content aggregation service. Such term shall not include a platform that:

Is wholly owned, controlled, and operated by a person that:

For the most recent 6-month period, did not employ more than 500 employees.

For the most recent 3-year period, averaged less than $50,000,000 in annual gross revenue.

Collects or processes on an annual basis the user-specific data of less than 1,000,000 users (about the population of Delaware) or is operated for the sole purpose of conducting research that is not made for profit either directly or indirectly.

Input Transparent Algorithm: The term “input-transparent algorithm” means an algorithmic ranking system that does not use the user-specific data of a user to determine the selection, order, relative prioritization, or relative prominence of information that is furnished to such user on a covered internet platform, unless the user-specific data is expressly provided to the platform by the user for such purpose.

Data Provided for Express Purpose of Interaction with Platform For purposes of subparagraph (A), user-specific data that is provided by a user for the express purpose of determining the selection, order, relative prioritization, or relative prominence of information that is furnished to such user on a covered internet platform:

Shall include user-supplied search terms, filters, speech patterns (if provided for the purpose of enabling the platform to accept spoken input or selecting the language in which the user interacts with the platform), saved preferences, and the current precise geolocation information that is supplied by the user.

Shall include the user's current approximate geolocation information.

Shall include data affirmatively supplied to the platform by the user that expresses the user's desire to receive particular information, such as the social media profiles the user follows, the video channels the user subscribes to, or other content or sources of content on the platform the user has selected.

Shall NOT include the history of the user's connected device, including the user's history of web searches and browsing, previous geographical locations, physical activity, device interaction, and financial transactions.

Shall NOT include inferences about the user or the user's connected device, without regard to whether such inferences are based on data described in clause (i) or (iii).

Opaque Algorithm: The term “opaque algorithm” means an algorithmic ranking system that determines the selection, order, relative prioritization, or relative prominence of information that is furnished to such user on a covered internet platform based, in whole or part, on user-specific data that was not expressly provided by the user to the platform for such purpose.

Exception for Age-Appropriate Content Filtering: Such term shall not include an algorithmic ranking system used by a covered internet platform if:

The only user-specific data (including inferences about the user) that the system uses is information relating to the age of the user.

Such information is only used to restrict a user's access to content on the basis that the individual is not old enough to access such content (i.e., not allowing a 13-year-old to access pornography).

Precise Geolocation Information: The term “precise geolocation information” means geolocation information that identifies an individual’s location to within a range of 5 miles or less.

Search Syndication Contract, Upstream Provider, Downstream Provider:

The term “search syndication contract” means a contract or subcontract for the sale of, license of, or other right to access an index of web pages or search results on the internet for the purpose of operating an internet search engine.

The term “upstream provider” means, with respect to a search syndication contract, the person that grants access to an index of web pages or search results on the internet to a downstream provider pursuant to the contract.

The term “downstream provider” means, with respect to a search syndication contract, the person that receives access to an index of web pages on the internet from an upstream provider under such contract.

User Specific Data: The term “user-specific data” means information relating to an individual or a specific connected device that would not necessarily be true of every individual or device.

Requirement to Allow Users to View Unaltered Content on Internet Platforms: Beginning on the date that is 1 year after the date of enactment of this Act, it shall be illegal:

For any person to operate a covered internet platform that uses an opaque algorithm unless the person complies with the opaque algorithm requirements.

For any upstream provider to grant access to an index of web pages on the internet under a search syndication contract that does not comply with the requirements of paragraph (3).

Opaque Algorithm Requirements: The requirements of this paragraph with respect to a person that operates a covered internet platform that uses an opaque algorithm are the following:

The person provides notice to users of the platform:

That the platform uses an opaque algorithm that uses user-specific data to select the content the user sees. Such notice shall be presented in a clear, conspicuous manner on the platform whenever the user interacts with an opaque algorithm for the first time and may be a one-time notice that can be dismissed by the user.

In the terms and conditions of the covered internet platform, in a clear, accessible, and easily comprehensible manner to be updated no less frequently than once every 6 months:

The most salient features, inputs, and parameters used by the algorithm.

How any user-specific data used by the algorithm is collected or inferred about a user of the platform, and the categories of such data.

Any options that the covered internet platform makes available for a user of the platform to opt out or exercise options under clause (ii), modify the profile of the user or to influence the features, inputs, or parameters used by the algorithm.

Any quantities, such as time spent using a product or specific measures of engagement or social interaction, that the algorithm is designed to optimize, as well as a general description of the relative importance of each quantity for such ranking.

The person makes available a version of the platform that uses an input-transparent algorithm and enables users to easily switch between the version of the platform that uses an opaque algorithm and the version of the platform that uses the input-transparent algorithm.

Exceptions for Certain Downstream Providers: Subparagraph (A) shall not apply with respect to an internet search engine if:

The search engine is operated by a downstream provider with fewer than 1,000 employees.

The search engine uses an index of web pages on the internet to which such provider received access under a search syndication contract.

Search Syndication Contract Requirements: The requirements of this paragraph with respect to a search syndication contract are that:

As part of the contract, the upstream provider makes available to the downstream provider the same input-transparent algorithm used by the upstream provider for purposes of complying with paragraph (2)(A)(ii).

The upstream provider does not impose any additional costs, degraded quality, reduced speed, or other constraint on the functioning of such algorithm when used by the downstream provider to operate an internet search engine relative to the performance of such algorithm when used by the upstream provider to operate an internet search engine.

Prohibition on Differential Pricing: A covered internet platform shall not deny, charge different prices or rates for, or condition the provision of a service or product to an individual based on the individual’s election to use a version of the platform that uses an input-transparent algorithm as provided under paragraph (2)(A)(ii).

Enforcement by FTC:

Unfair or Deceptive Acts or Practices: A violation of this section by an operator of a covered internet platform shall be treated as a violation of a rule defining an unfair or deceptive act or practice prescribed under section 18(a)(1)(B) of the Federal Trade Commission Act (15 U.S.C. 57a(a)(1)(B)).

Powers of Commision: Except as provided in subparagraph (C), the FTC shall enforce this section in the same manner, by the same means, and with the same jurisdiction, powers, and duties as though all applicable terms and provisions of the Federal Trade Commission Act (15 U.S.C. 41 et seq.) were incorporated into and made a part of this section.

Privileges and Immunities: Except as provided in subparagraph (C), any person who violates this Act shall be subject to the penalties and entitled to the privileges and immunities provided in the Federal Trade Commission Act (15 U.S.C. 41 et seq.).

Common Carriers and Nonprofit Institutions: Notwithstanding section 4, 5(a)(2), or 6 of the Federal Trade Commission Act (15 U.S.C. 44, 45(a)(2), 46) or any jurisdictional limitation of the Commission, the Commission shall also enforce this act, in the same manner provided in subparagraphs (A) and (B) of this paragraph, with respect to:

Common carriers subject to the Communications Act of 1934 (47 U.S.C. 151 et seq.) and acts amendatory thereof and supplementary thereto

Organizations are not organized to carry on business for their own profit or that of their members.

Authority Preserved: Nothing in this section shall be construed to limit the authority of the Commission under any other provision of law.

Rule of Application: Section 11 shall not apply to this section.

Rule of Construction to Preserve Personal Blocks: Nothing in this section shall be construed to limit or prohibit a covered internet platform’s ability to, at the direction of an individual user or group of users, restrict another user from searching for, finding, accessing, or interacting with such user’s or group’s account, content, data, or online community.

Skipping over Section 14, as it is incredibly short (don’t worry, it’s one line, and I’ll say it at the end), we arrive at Section 15, or “Rules of Construction and Other Matters”.

Relationships to Other Laws: Nothing in this Act shall be construed to:

Preempt section 444 of the General Education Provisions Act (20 U.S.C. 1232g (about 2.72 lb), commonly known as the “Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act of 1974”) or other Federal or State laws governing student privacy.

Preempt the Children's Online Privacy Protection Act of 1998 (15 U.S.C. 6501 et seq.) or any rule or regulation promulgated under such Act.

Authorize any action that would conflict with section 18(h) of the Federal Trade Commission Act (15 U.S.C. 57a(h)).

Fairly Implied on the Basis of Objective Circumstances: For purposes of enforcing this act, in making a determination as to whether covered platform has knowledge fairly implied on the basis of objective circumstances that a user is a minor, the FTC shall rely on competent and reliable empirical evidence, taking into account the totality of the circumstances, including consideration of whether the operator, using available technology, exercised reasonable care.

Protections for Privacy: Nothing in this act shall be construed to require:

The affirmative collection of any personal data with respect to the age of users that a covered platform is not already collecting in the normal course of business.

A covered platform to implement an age gating or age verification functionality.

Compliance: Nothing in this act shall be construed to restrict a covered platform's ability to:

Cooperate with law enforcement agencies regarding activity that the covered platform reasonably and in good faith believes may violate Federal, State, or local laws, rules, or regulations.

Comply with a civil, criminal, or regulatory inquiry or any investigation, subpoena, or summons by Federal, State, local, or other government authorities.

Investigate, establish, exercise, respond to, or defend against legal claims.

Application to Video Streaming Services: A video streaming service shall be deemed to be in compliance with this act if it predominantly consists of news, sports, entertainment, or other video programming content that is preselected by the provider and not user-generated, and:

Any chat, comment, or interactive functionality is provided incidental to, directly related to, or dependent on provision of such content.

If such video streaming service requires account owner registration and is not predominantly news or sports, the service includes the capability:

To limit a minor’s access to the service, which may utilize a system of age-rating.

To limit the automatic playing of on-demand content selected by a personalized recommendation system for an individual that the service knows is a minor.

To provide an individual that the service knows is a minor with readily-accessible and easy-to-use options to delete an account held by the minor and delete any personal data collected from the minor on the service, or, in the case of a service that allows a parent to create a profile for a minor, to allow a parent to delete the minor’s profile, and to delete any personal data collected from the minor on the service.

For a parent to manage a minor’s privacy and account settings, and restrict purchases and financial transactions by a minor, where applicable.

To provide an electronic point of contact specific to matters described in this paragraph.

To offer clear, conspicuous, and easy-to-understand notice of its policies and practices with respect to personal data and the capabilities described in this paragraph.

When providing on-demand content, to employ measures that safeguard against serving advertising for narcotic drugs (as defined in section 102 of the Controlled Substances Act (21 U.S.C. 802)), tobacco products, gambling, or alcohol directly to the account or profile of an individual that the service knows is a minor.

And finally, we arrive at Section 16, the last Section, combined with Section 14, which I glossed over earlier. If any part of this act is deemed obsolete, ineffective, or unnecessary at any point in time, it may be removed from the act without any effect to the rest of it. Unless otherwise specified, all regulations in this act shall come into effect 18 months (about 1 and a half years) after the passing of this bill.

As you can see, this bill makes an impressive amount of sense, and if it were simply used as intended, it would be wonderful. However, because we can never have nice things, legislators, politicians, and the common public have twisted this bill, warping it to serve their selfish desires. Firstly, Senator Blackburn, one of the people behind this whole thing, blatantly said to a camera that she was going to “use KOSA to protect kids from the transgender in this culture.” With the queer community already under fire from all sides, this is the last thing they need, as all it does is further demonize them, and paint them as evil, pedophilic freaks to be feared and hated. A lot of regulations outlined in this bill also provide a concerning amount of control over the children it claims to protect, and it isn’t giving it to the child. It’s giving it to their parents. The adults who, as much as we hate to admit it, don’t always have the best interests of their children at heart. And what’s more, now the conservative Republicans care about people with disabilities, but it’s only when they’re trying to push a different marginalized group off the net. However, as soon as we try to do something as simple as mandating wheelchair ramps for all government buildings, they say “we don’t have the money for that!”. Okay, since obviously you don’t understand basic common sense Mr. Conservative, let me explain this for you: let’s say that KOSA will be fully enforced on every single website out of the over 1 BILLION that currently exist. Let’s say that about half of those comply fully willingly with KOSA, just for the benefit of the doubt. That still lives 500 million noncompliant websites. Let’s say that with legal proceedings and other costs, it would cost 500 dollars in USD per website to bring those websites into compliance. It would cost 250 BILLION dollars in USD to bring 500 million websites into compliance. Now let’s do some math on the wheelchair ramp problem, I’ll use small businesses as an example, since that’s the main subject of complaints on this topic. There are 33,185,550 small businesses registered in the United States. With the average cost per linear foot of concrete ramp being 225 dollars in USD, and saying that every small business has 2 doors that need ramps that are 1 linear foot, that means that every small business would have to pay 450 dollars in USD to make their businesses accessible. Every 3-5 years, you’ll want to reseal that concrete, costing about 3-5 dollars in USD per square foot. That means that a one time expense of 450 dollars to build the original ramps (on average, grossly oversimplified, but you get it), with an recurring cost every 3-5 years of a mere 6-10 dollars in USD. It would cost 4e-9% of what it would cost to enforce KOSA to make every registered small business in the US accessible. That is less than 1% of the money it would cost to enforce KOSA.

This bill would also enforce a strict “no horny” policy on damn near every website that you can think of. And as much as we like to demonize and vilify them, sex workers, porn actors, and hentai artists are people too, and some of them make a living off what they do. By enacting KOSA, you are driving the lives of more than 2 million people (about the population of Nebraska) into the dirt. KOSA places the value of a child’s innocence over those lives. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am absolutely against child pornography and exposing small children to porn, but we shouldn’t lock down everyone's access to explicit content to preserve 22.1% of the US population’s childlike innocence. KOSA also can lock those children into abusive and dangerous conditions and make the lives of orphans a living hell. By giving the parents of minors total control over their child’s account, you are allowing them to lock down their lives, and expose these children to, at best, harmful misinformation, extremism, and general naivety, and at worst, physical abuse and/or death. That’s another 600,000 lives ground into the dirt under the boot of “safety”. And that little bit about “parens patrie”? That basically means that if you can’t defend yourself (i.e. are homeless, an orphan, etc.), the government is your parent now. Growing up with a faceless, nameless entity in place of any parental figure is NOT a healthy way for a child to live. Again, that’s another 2,823,104 human beings crushed by KOSA. In total, out of just the three categories of people I listed here, over 4,883,104 human beings, with lives, emotions, thoughts, joys and pains, are being royally screwed over by this absolutely horrid bill.

We as a society are better than this. Come on people. What memo did I miss that decided that we only need equality for some people? Instead of bickering amongst ourselves like children, we should work together and solve our problems! Isn’t that what we all want!? But no, instead we fight over our inviolable rights as human beings like toddlers over a shovel in the sandbox, instead of behaving like civilized people. And what’s worse, it paints anyone who doesn’t fit the perfect ideal of an American citizen in shades of evil, demonizing and alienating them even more than they already are. What the hell are we doing here? Instead of waving our bureaucracy around, we should get off the chair and do something about it. How many times have we done something without taking a risk? That’s right, NEVER.

If we claim to be champions of equality, yet only desire it for ourselves, we are just as bad as those whose actions we decry. So please, dear reader, I beg of you. Stop KOSA, stop censorship, stop tyranny if you value this world at all.

#fuck kosa #stop kosa #kosa #abuse #danger #politics #American politics

54 notes · View notes

justalovelyblackgf · 5 days

Text

Movie Nights + Tickle Fights

fandom: smallville (2001-2011)

pairing: clark kent x black!chloe sullivan

casting: tom welling and kelly rowland

contains: lots of words, fluff, romance, mutual pining, a bit of shyness, established relationship, chloe is a bit stubborn, playful banter, a bit of a makeout session, brief descriptions of gore and blood.

taglist: @rosiestalez @afrowrites @afrogirl3005

@yugiohio

summary: ever since they were in middle school, clark and chloe would have a movie night every other weekend at her place. this is the first one they’ve had since they became an official couple and chloe suggests they watch a horror movie tonight. clark is apprehensive because each time they’ve tried to watch one in the past, chloe would be too scared to finish it and won’t go to sleep. chloe ain’t no punk, so she makes a wager with her boyfriend.

the amber glow of the lamps that sat on the tables on either side of the long, cushioned sofa lit up the sullivan’s living room to set the exact ambience that chloe was going for. the soles of her bare feet made a soft, yet fervent patting sound on the hardwood floors as she paced back and forth to make sure everything was in its right place and that she was prepared with the necessities that her and her anticipated company would have everything they need for the night. she began to conjour up a mental checklist of the final details: collections of dvds? check. several cartons tubs of ice cream purchased on dad’s credit card? check. warm and cozy blankets with pillows that are the right amount of fluff for cuddling? check.

chloe stopped her pacing to observe her figure in the living room mirror. the grey tank top she adorned exposed a bit of her waist and was met with a pair of white sweat pants. it wasn’t like he hadn’t had a glimpse of her bronze colored skin before considering it was part of her signature look in the daily rotation of outfits she owned. as she was adjusting the paisley patterned bandana that was secured on top of her black cherry highlighted bob that was perfectly curled at the ends, her stomach tingled with a rush of anxiety, but elation. this company she was expecting wasn’t just any company. this was clark kent. her best friend since the 7th grade and currently her first, serious relationship.

oh, no. this wasn’t just some casual, testing–the– waters type of connection. chloe and clark were locked in for real this time. no games, no ultimatum with smallville’s local sweetheart, it was just a real bond that got stronger no matter how much the circumstances tried to sever it. clark and chloe made the choice to be with each other and there was no regrets by either of them. the best part about this friendship turned budding romance was that this was someone she truly knew and truly loved. clark kent was her first, real, love since their youth. first loves can either be blissful or painful. trust and believe that chloe sullivan has experienced both at such an intensity. the source of bliss was just clark being…clark! the type of boy you bring home to mama well—dad in her case. his benevolence, humility, intelligence, charisma, empathy, and loyalty was a full package of its own. not to mention that clark was fine as hell! there are some cuties here and there at their school, but chloe believed that clark was too handsome to even be from this planet. he usually kept to himself, but whether he knew it or not, the girls were checking for the 6’3 raven haired, aqua eyed male always strolling in his signature flannel, jeans, and boots combo—and chloe was no different. these things alone gave her something more than butterflies and she learned to put more trust in him despite his…quirks.

now, even though they were tight for a good minute they definitely had some disagreements over the years about issues like the torch, clark’s weird secrecy, her natural nosiness as a journalist, clark not getting his priorities together when it came down between chloe and lana lang, his stubbornness and the type of guys she’s seeing that clark warns her about like she was his girl (he was right sometimes). sometimes these arguments would get so heated, one of them would cross a line to the point where they wouldn’t cross paths at school, that was the worst part. they eventually apologize, hug it out, and keep keepin’ on. even in the middle of a fight, when it really came to it, they were still down for each other!

they’ve always had movie nights over the years, but it was just a friendly kickback where they crack jokes, binge on junk food, and watch an R-rated movie from the secret stash when they knew they were just 13. that was very much platonic–until now. in a way, it was sort of like a first date, most couples would probably prefer a fancy restaurant, a picnic or night out in metropolis, but as along as chloe had clark by her side, she didn’t care where they were. she’s not tripping because they just started making things exclusive between them, so they’ll get there soon. she couldn’t help, but let a wide smile spread as her face heated up at thought of him.

speaking of her boyfriend. as if on cue, chloe’s train of thought came to halt when she heard the high pitched ring of the doorbell. her eyes shifted to the ticking clock on the wall that clearly read 8:00 PM on the dot. she shook her head to bring herself back to planet earth before taking a deep breath and power walking to the door. she elevated her bare heels off the floor to peer through the peephole because you’ll never know who’s really there until you check. she lovingly sighed with relief as her boyfriend’s tall frame came into the view of the circular looking glass he looked like his hands were tucked behind his back. chloe assumed it was just the rest of the snacks that clark agreed to pick up for the evening. the smile on her face doesn’t leave her glossed lips as she took the opportunity to unlock and turn the doorknob to the right before she finally removed the barrier that stands between them.

“hey, hey!” she greeted him, flashing a smile. her voice in her head register due to her excitement yet her nerves wrestling in her stomach. she swallowed it down and took a step back, so that he could enter through the door. “come on in! you’re right on time and i see that you’ve come bearing gifts?” she quipped, crossing her arms and leaning a bit to the left to peek at what was concealed behind his back. clark chuckled and flashed his own award winning smile. his cheeks tinted a light pink before he replied, “hey! i’m glad because i thought i was too early. oh, yeah! i stopped by the store and got some of our favorite toxic waste.” one of his arms came from behind to reveal two plastic bags filled with snacks and sodas for both of them to enjoy. “i used all my savings to make we had enough to last us through the night and i got you these…”

chloe’s brown eyes gazed down at the bouquet of pink peony tulips that were beautifully arranged and by judging of the vibrant, blush hue of the petals, they were obviously home grown and well taken care of before being delicately packaged. her pupils dilated at the bouquet as he set the bags down on a nearby table to take a step closer to her, the tulips the only thing in between them. she felt the temperature of her face rise again. her gleaming smile meeting clark’s before shifting her eyes to the flowers in his large hand. “clark i—thank you so much! you know you didn’t have to—“ he cut her sentence short. “no, chlo, i wanted to. i’ve realized that this is the first time we’ve spent time alone since we’ve made things official and even though it’s not on a big, fancy date, i wanted to show you that this night is special to me just as it is to you, so that’s why i wanted to show up with more than just the usual teeth-rotting junk.” they briefly laugh before he resumes speaking, “so with a lot of help from my mom, we grew these fresh on the farm and she said they represent ‘a perfect love and a new beginning’ chloe, i want this new beginning for us to start on the right foot. we’ve definitely had our share of differences in the past, but you’re someone i can always count on especially considering my—flaws and that’s why i want—no, need to stay by your side.” his proclamation was then cut short when chloe fills in the gap between them by embracing her arms around his torso, her head nuzzling securely on his chest. clark doesn’t hesitate as his own arms find their place around her upper body, bringing her in closer. his chin rested atop of her head, he can still inhale the familiar scent of the blue magic hair dress moisturizer she uses daily through the bandana.

“and i thought i could talk, but it seems i’ve truly met my match.” she murmured, listening to the sweet music of his heartbeat. “clark, i don’t care where we are or what we’re doing, i just want it to be with you and that’s more than enough for me.” she lifted her head to catch her gaze with his. her right hand slithering out from behind his back to delicately touch his beautifully sculpted jaw, the pad of her thumb slowly moving back and forth across his skin as she took a second to admire the contrast of their respective skin tones complimenting each other. “this love here will be imperfect. any love is, but there’s no one else i’d rather do it with.” she finally spoke before her toes aid in lifting her face up closer to his, placing a soft, yet lingering kiss on his cheek and looked back to see that the boy’s face had matched the rosy hue of the flowers he’d given her. not only that, a bit of her glittering lip gloss left an imprint.

she lets out a laugh and wipes the residue off with her thumb. “my bad, clark! but, seriously this means so much to me. thank you again.” she momentarily breaks the embrace and takes a step back to retrieve the flowers, butterflies emerging in her abdomen as their hands meet again to make the exchange. chloe takes a few seconds to truly admire the gift of the farm boy, bringing the flowers to her nose to take in their scent. “you and miss martha really put in that work, huh? they look amazing!” he admires her as she fawns over the flowers.

“you look amazing.” he chimed in. a smirk rising on his lips as he watched her take a pause. damn, that farm boy charm will always work in his favor. that compliment almost caused her brain to completely malfunction. chloe playfully rolls her eyes, a cheesy grin playing on her face as she walks to find an empty vase to fill with water before putting the flowers in. if this boy is saying this while i’m just in a tank and sweats, imagine if—girl, you better stop. she shuts down her inner voice before she responds, “aw, i appreciate it, boo! but flattery doesn’t get you off the hook from popcorn duty. you know where to find everything. i’m in charge of picking out the movie, so get to it!” playfully, she tapped him on the arm and picked up the bags of the other snacks, bringing them to the coffee table set before the sofa. clark snickered, shaking his head. yep, that’s my chloe.

he nodded, accepting the task and made his way to the kitchen. he rummaged around in the sullivan’s pantry to retrieve one of the many packages of jiffy pop. he took a quick glance behind him to find chloe herself searching meticulously for a film to watch. he noticed how she furrowed her brows with focus as she read the titles and descriptions from front to back. her face scrunching up in disapproval before putting the vhs back in its rightful place. she was definitely preoccupied enough for clark to turn his head back to the raw, packaged corn kernels that were sitting atop the stove. his pupils focused on the object for a few seconds as the heat started to radiate. the foil began to expand wider the longer he stared. after about a minute and a half, clark, feeling accomplished at how much of a handle he’s got on his newfound ability, decided that the popcorn was prepared to perfection. he poured the snack into a large bowl for the couple to share. he sauntered in the living room as his enhanced hearing picked up on sounds of the mumblings of his girlfriend.

“no…no… ha, yes! got it.” chloe beamed triumphantly, holding the tape with her back to clark.

“it sounds like you’ve struck gold, so i’m guessing you’ve finally chosen what we’re watching tonight?” he questioned placing the popcorn down on the coffee table before making his way in her direction to stand behind her. his towering height made it possible to see the title cover of the film she carried. his eyebrows furrow before one of them raises.

“you want to watch ‘scream’ ? chlo’, i’m not sure that’s a good idea.” clark advises with a reluctant expression, placing his palm on her shoulder.

“what? why not, clark? i didn’t want to put on something cheesy. it’s been a minute since we’ve seen a good scary movie, you know. you’re not scared are you?” she seemed puzzled that this boy who has faced individuals that fit the criteria of her “wall of weird” at the “torch” would be frightened of a slasher film until he replied, “it’s not me that i’m worried about. it’s you. i remember when we were 12, you wanted us to watch ‘a nightmare on elm street’ and when it was over, you begged me to stay up all night with you watching ‘blues clues’, so you wouldn’t get nightmares and we haven’t watched a horror movie ever since. i didn’t really mind back then, but that really worried me.”

chole dismissed his plea before turning her body to his, still looking down at the tape.

“mmcht! c’mon, clark. that was like what—almost 4 years ago? for one, i’m grown…ish! for two, i ain’t no punk because the way things are set up in smallville, i’ve faced worse than fine ass psychotics playing dress up and stabbing horny teens. you really don’t think i can handle it?” she challenged. a gaze of intrigue played in her eyes and she crossed one arm across her exposed stomach as her hand fidgeted with the tape.

“it’s not that i don’t think you can handle it, chloe. maybe you chose it because—“ he took a beat of pause, licking his lips before taking one inch closer to his girlfriend and adjusting his knee to meet her height and utter softly in her ear. “it’s just an excuse to get closer to me. the more i think about it, the more i think how adorable it is!”he stood back up to his previous position, cheekily grinning at chloe’s “pissed” reaction. a hearty, but dry faux chuckle leaves her lips.

“oh, ho ho. so you think i’m trying to get right? don’t get too hot, now. watch me sit through this movie without flinching. matter of fact, i’ll bet you twenty dollars and a week of free lattes from the talon that i can watch this movie and sleep like a baby. all. night. long.” she sized him up (the best she knew how) and pointed her finger on his very toned chest. lord, help me. this was the wrong time to start getting flustered right now.

“come on, chloe i don’t think—“

“what, clark? you scared? you know there’s something in it for you if you so happen to win. tell me what you want.”

he froze upon seeing her face this close. a teasing glint playing in those deep pools of brown. her perfectly arched brow raising above the other as a smirk formed on her naturally lined lips. the shine of her lip gloss still hasn’t diminished from that kiss she laid on his crimson face earlier. clark wondered just how much—how much more would it take to get all that glittering substance removed from her lips? this was a challenge that he was willing to take on. only if she’s down for it of course, clark wouldn’t do anything that she wasn’t comfortable with and vice versa. he reciprocated the smirk to match her energy before responding,

“that’s for me to know and for you to find out. as a journalist, it shouldn’t be too hard for you.”

she snickered, shaking her head. typical clark. always playing “the man of mystery” all too well.

“it’s a bet. you better get that allowance ready to blow on your girl’s caffeine addiction.” she says before taking a step back and holding out her hand to shake.

“all i can say is may the best one win.” clark humbly utters giving her hand a firm, kent handshake to finalize the deal. he won’t say it, but he’s got this in the bag. he takes it upon himself to let chloe find her position on the sofa while he inserts the tape into the vcr. after pressing the “play” button, he returns to comfortably take a seat next to where chloe’s sitting with the bowl of popcorn on her lap for both of them indulge in. he places one arm along the back of the couch behind her shoulders and the other, reaching for the buttery snack.

the film opens as drew barrymore’s “casey” is conversing on the phone with the deep voice of an unknown man who calls her by mistake, but he wants to keep talking. there is some mild flirting between the two and he’s asking her questions such as what her favorite scary movie is and if she has a boyfriend. things then take a turn when he reveals that he’s been watching her the whole time that they’ve been on the phone. the scene heightens with suspense as the girl is locking doors, constantly looking over her shoulders, and aggressively threatens to call the police on this creep. chloe absentmindedly scoots an inch closer to clark as she watches, not knowing that he’s glancing at her through his peripheral vision. his heightened sense of hearing picking up the sound of the silent gulp run down her throat and heart rate increase in tempo by the time they watch the cloaked figure run through the house looking for his next victim after he guts the battered and bloodied football player from the inside out with a hunting knife. with each minute of the scene proceeding, she just got a little bit closer to the point her forearm was touching the side of his torso. with her this close, it sounds like her heart was going to leap from her chest! clark was now starting to get concerned, so he taps her should and leans in to whisper in her ear.

“hey, are you okay? we can just drop the bet and watch something else, chloe. i want to make sure that both of us have a good time tonight,okay?” he peers his baby blues to her brown with the gentleman-like sincerity that martha and jonathan definitely raised him with. the hand that was behind her shoulders came slowly in contact with her skin to bring her in closer and reassuringly caress her forearm. chloe knew that clark’s eye contact had better communication than his mouth sometimes, so she knew he was really looking out for her. a smile was growing on her face as her affection, gratitude, and respect grew for him. ugh—what a man. it’s just those little things that he does that’s always a reminder to her of “why him?” why not him? god, if it wasn’t so soon she would just blurt out those three little words, but there was another three she had to confess to end this wager—forfeiting. she took a deep breath and opened her mouth to speak before she was interrupted by a shrill sound,

“clark, i—“

“RRRRRIIIIIIINGGGG!”

her head turns quickly to the spiral, corded landline hanging on the wall in between the kitchen and living room, waiting for her to accept the call. she then turns to clark, “let me get that real quick. pause the movie till i get back?” clark gives her nod, removing his arm from around her, and pressing the “pause” button on the remote. she rises from the sofa and trudges towards the phone, inwardly groaning at whoever the hell may be calling to interrupt this moment with her boyfriend. her hand reaches to pick up the receiver and puts it to her ear and gives the customary “hello?” to the caller. clark sits patiently as his ears pick up on the conversation to make sure everything’s alright.

“oh, hey dad!”

that’s right! her father, gabe, was spending the weekend in metropolis for a deal he needed to close on for the plant. he continued to listen.

“nothing, just having a movie night with clark. you know, like when we were kids?…. yeah, yeah we’ll make sure to clean up! is everything alright in metropolis? … that’s what’s up! i’m glad to hear that…no. no, dad—we are not doing that! lalalala! i can’t hear you! … seriously we just started dating, so no….yes, sir. i’ll tell him you said ‘hi.’ okay, we will…i love you, too. bye, daddy!”

she hurriedly hangs up the phone feeling mortified at her father’s forwardness. as she walks back she proceeds dish the details of the conversation. the highlight of it was that gabe suggested they’d “use protection” just in case because he was a “teenager once and he refuses to see her end up like so and so’s daughter”, earning a flustered laugh from each other.

the laughing died down. chloe cleared her throat to resume her previous sentence in a low voice as the heat of embarrassment hit her face.

“you, win clark…”

now matter how quiet the volume of her voice, clark heard it loud and clear. now, it was time to put his plan in action. with a mischievous grin he leaned in for her to repeat the sentence.

“i’m sorry? i don’t think i heard you that first time you’re gonna have to speak up, chlo’. “

she grumbles, “i said you win, clark.”

“i still can’t hear you, sweetheart. i guess you leave me no choice…” he teases, the pitch of his voice lowers as he draws his body closer to her on the sofa much like a crouching predator about to pounce on its prey. clark’s large hands were aiming to hover each side of her waist. chloe chuckles as the nerves of excitement yet anticipation shoot through her veins while she scoots herself backwards to create distance. a hint of playful fear curves on her full lips. she moves so far back that her spine falls against the cushion. clark’s smirking face now hovering over his giggling girlfriend still trying to play that stubborn act he knows too well.

“chloe sullivan, i’ll give you one last chance to admit your defeat out loud or else, you’ll have to suffer the consequences!” he states not daring to keep his eyes of her own, a sound of determination in his tone.

“clark kent, if you don’t back up! now, i know you heard me. just what the hell are you do—no, no! d-don’t! ah haha haha! stop!” chloe squeals after clark swiftly dives forward rapidly moving his digits along her waist. her body squirming trying to escape from his grip. it was futile! as the laughter takes over her system, her body gets weaker under his touch. chloe’s contagious symphony of laughter didn’t take long for clark’s own chortles to harmonize. his pearly canines are exposed as his ears and heart are captivated by the pure tone of their happiness. his fingers take a pause.

“come on, chloe! repeat what you said!” he teasingly declares.

“n-no, you’ve heard me! i s-swear, clark! hahaha! she stubbornly squeaked out when she felt his fingers resume their attack on the tender area of her ribs. her sounds increasing in volume when he proceeded to apply a bit of pressure to her skin. the more stubborn she is, the more relentless he gets. during their friendship, he was kind of used to chloe bossing him around like an unpaid intern while she held down “the torch”. proofreading and editing articles, doing research, getting her coffee, you name it. clark knew it was about time to get his lick back! his fingers don’t stop at her ribs before they start they ascend to the sides of her neck. that’s exactly what got her. “stop— i can’t! p-please, clark! i’ll say it, haha! you win, clark, you win! i got scared!”

clark ceases his movements before his hands fall on either side of chloe’s neck as her voice diminishes. the couple has a stare down as the room is now filled with labored breathing as their chests rapidly heave, rising and falling until they reach the steady rhythm. clark breaks the silence.

“say it again.” he urges softly. his arched raven toned brows raise slightly, his oceanic gaze softens against her dark amber. the corners of his lips curving into a victorious smile of a bonafide winner.

“you win.” she confesses in a volume clear enough to accept her defeat, but the steady beat of her heart raced the longer she peered into his eyes. her own pupils wielding affection at the satisfied grin plastered across his face. a sense of playfulness washed over her as she knew he was eating up his opportunity at having the upper hand this time. whether one be victorious or defeated, clark and chloe would still find that common bliss between each other and for each other. it was now chloe’s turn to break the silence.

“now what was that prize you wanted so badly that it was worth hiding, hm?” she inquires, quirking her brow.

ready?

his pupils briefly focus on the lingering coat of shine on her lips. he gulps, licking his own nervously before taking a breath and a leap of courage.

aim.

“i’d like the pleasure of taking off your lip gloss —only if that’s okay with you, of course. it’s no pressure.” his face moves in closer as his right thumb inches to the side of her jawline to caress her sun-adored skin. his eyes shift from hers to her awaiting mouth again. the touch alone sends a surge of electric warmth through the young couple.

at first, his phrase left her puzzled. what does he mean by that? is there something wrong with my lip—oh. ooooh! you got that one, clark. the heat seeped into face as realization settled in after she mentally put the together the pieces within seconds. girl, what the hell are you waiting for!? give that boy what you’ve been wanting to give him for years!

her conscience finally breaking out of her train of thought before she finally gives him the answer to cease the suspense once for all.

“yeah, clark. go for it!” she whispers softly, titling her face up a bit forward to meet him halfway.

fire.

like a moth to a flame, clark’s lips immediately drew to chloe’s completely closing the gap between them. they begin with one gentle and lingering kiss to get an initial feel for each other’s touch on a new level. it’s exhilarating! before they knew, they only crave for more. with each kiss, their tempo increases as their own unique rhythm sets the stage for their dance. clark’s hands find their place at the sides of chloe’s jaw to bring her face up closer against his as her fingers entrap themselves in the dark jungle of his curls. with the gentlest of motions, his palms descend from her jaw to her shoulders finally reaching their desired destination to the center of her spine. clark carefully applies pressure to signal her to sit upright. chloe reads the signal clearly and follows his lead, their chests centimeters from each other when clark sits himself up against the couch, his hands sliding to the small of her back. chloe adjusts her knees against the side of each his legs, her arms encircling his broad, muscular shoulders.

a hum vibrates from chloe’s chest as she decides to take initiative by softly tugging clark’s now swollen, plush bottom lip between her teeth before releasing it to its original position. clark intends to match that same energy. he tilts her face in the opposite direction to slither his tongue to intimately mingle with hers, chloe whimpers in both surprise and approval of his forwardness. they continue to get lost within each other for another minute before they release to take a pause of realization of what’s going on between them. the lovers slowly bring their foreheads to connect, silently communicating their affection without ceasing their eye contact, and content smiles curving on their swollen lips. once their breathing is steady, they realize that tonight’s activities took a toll on their bodies. they take a second to stretch themselves from their previous position before clark lays on his side bringing chloe to lay in the (literal) shield of his chest, wrapping his arms around her figure once she’s comfortably nuzzling her face close enough to indulge in the sound of his heartbeat, allowing her eyes to doze away for the night. clark lays a final kiss upon the top of her silk wrapped scalp as his kryptonian senses tune in to her heartbeat before his own slumber follows suit.

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frozen-heart · 3 months

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Thoughts on episode 7

Here we go again :D

Choices were definitely made with Dr Sullivan's backstory. I'm dissapointed they didn't mention the original A and cast. It would've been the perfect opportunity. I'm not sure why but it feels out of character for Archie to go after Dr Sullivan for years? Why would he kill her son? Why wait until he was like 16? I don't buy it being because she couldn't do more for him and his mother. Didn't he like hate his mother or something? Was Clanton involved? Where is Clanton? Did they get the idea for A, because Archie followed Dr Sullivan to Rosewood back when the original A attacked her?

Also, why would Dr Sullivan assume that it was Archie who killed her son? Especially with the 'A' scenery that got created allegedly by Archie. Wouldn't she assume it was Mona or any other A from the original PLL? She didn't know yet that Archie would call himself 'A' in the future.

I'm also feeling conflicted about her suddenly feeling the need to 'prove' her story to Imogen. Showing her allegedly dead son's grave doesn't prove anything btw. I somehow sympathize with her wanting to help Imogen and seek redemption for her mistakes, but something about it also feels off. And her suddenly dissappearing is giving me flashbacks to the original PLL, when she got threatened by A to dissappear.

This teacher right here is getting on my suspect list. He has technical knowledge for the SpookySpaghetti site, he could help Bloody Rose with the texts that are being send by people that are already dead and he could've had access to the girls final tests that they failed, to keep them in Millwood for summer school.

I wonder if these Rose's are from Mrs Beasley and Kelly or from Bloody Rose. It's implied that they're from Mrs Beasley, but we never exactly saw them place the flowers there.

I was also wondering, if the killings and Bloody Rose could be connected to Karen. Like how last season it was connected to Angela. It would make sense to test the Liars, to kill Sandy and the Pastor in connection to Karen. Not necessarily Nick and Sabrina tho.

I was wondering about the killings in general. The first two killing are Sabrina and Nick, who were mentioned on SpookySpaghetti and are meant to represent Bloody Rose's children Angela and Archie. But I don't think there were any mention of other people that were killed, like Sandy, on SpookySpaghetti. Where's the connection between everyone that got killed? Now with the Pastor getting killed and Kelly being attacked by Bloody Rose the killings/attacks seem to be random?

Why would Bloody Rose attack Kelly? Was this supposed to be a test for Kelly? Or is it because Faran told Kelly about Bloody Rose? Is that why Dr Sullivan dissappeared? Because Imogen told her about Bloody Rose? How did Bloody Rose know where she is? Also, why are they only warning Kelly now? They could've tried to warn her about another killer at least after Faran's test!

I hope Kelly will survive. I have a strong gut feeling that she will. The way Bloody Rose attacked her doesn't fit her. No stabbing, no blood. And she left her behind it seems. She never leaves a body behind, as we know. And we all know that she takes good care that no one finds out about her victims, because of all the text messages she keeps sending Sandy's mom for example. I've seen some people say that it might be a doll, that's what I thought when I saw the trailer for episode 6-8, but from the actual episode it actually looked like Kelly. Anyway, she needs to survive and redeem herself with the girls.

Faran x Greg... Why are they doing this? Kelly and him broke up like yesterday in their timeline. At least Greg broke up with Kelly before going after Faran ig.. This situation reminds me of the Caleb/Spencer/Hanna situation

Watch her drop the biggest bomb next episode and then dissappear again. She'll at least give a major clue on Bloody Rose. Her showing up at Mouse's house was so random lol. And why did Lola look so out of it? Did Rose tell her something disturbing?

Soo.. Let's take a deep breath and adress the elephant in the room:

Noa x Jen - Just getting on my nerves. After last episode there's no redemption for these two. I wish we could've seen the confrontation between him and Jen. I remember back in season 1 he got aggressive with the boys from Rosewood, so I guess it wouldn't be completely out of character. Especially considering he got cheated on and lied to. But when Noa trashed his car and their entire confrontation lacked that aggression. I thought he would definitely get another outburst when Noa went out of her house, but he just didn't, which feels contracting. And seemingly he also let her get away with trashing his car. I don't know. They could've handled it better. Noa trashing his car also felt like an overkill. Jen never said that he threatened her. It was so obvious that he would find out about them, get angry and would want to confront them.

Shawn is honestly just spitting facts right here:

Not related to this episode, but:

Everytime Mrs Langsberry suddenly pops up on the screen I got reminded of the Pretty Little Liars Spoof series! Some characters kept popping up out of the blue there too and it was hilarious every time.

#Pretty little liars summer school #PLL thoughts #pll summer school #pll summer school theory #pll theory

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wrestler-smash-or-pass · 7 months

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Weekly Wrapup 3/10/24

This Week's Rankings:

Utami Hayashishita - 88.9% smash

Jon Moxley (Dean Ambrose variant) - 84.6%

Eddie Guerrero - 80.5%

Edge and Beth Phoenix - 75.1%

KENTA - 75.1%

Unholy Union (Alba Fyre and Isla Dawn) - 74.3%

Carmelo Hayes - 71.6%

Bear Boulder - 69.1%

Pretty Deadly (Elton Prince and Kit Wilson) - 59.9%

Minoru Suzuki (Current Day) - 51.8%

Randy Orton with a mustache - 50.9%

Sami Callihan (CZW Era) - 26.4%

Gangrel - 24.1%

Gorgeous George - 21.4%

Average smash rating this week: 61.0%

More stats under the cut, along with my observations, commentary, and some of my favorite tags...

Most total votes this week (most enthusiasm)

Jon Moxley (Dean Ambrose) - 364 votes

Minoru Suzuki - 361

Utami Hayashishita - 343

Edge and Beth Phoenix - 338

Eddie Guerrero - 303

And least total votes this week (least enthusiasm)

Sami Callihan - 178 votes

Gorgeous George - 187

Unholy Union - 206

Bear Boulder - 217

Carmelo Hayes - 222

The closest poll was Randy Orton with a mustache, who won 115-111

Top Ten Overall

Kris Statlander - 91% smash

Athena - 90.2% smash

Hikaru Shida - 89.7% smash

Utami Hayashishita - 88.9% smash

Minoru Suzuki (Young Variant) - 88.7% smash

Swerve Strickland - 88.3% smash

Toni Storm - 88.1% smash

Hiroshi Tanahashi - 87.7% smash

Hangman Adam Page - 86.4% smash

Bianca Belair - 86.4% smash

Bottom Ten Overall

Vince McMahon - 3.9% smash

Ric Flair - 4.6% smash

Kane (Corporate variant) - 10.1% smash

Miracle Violence Connection - 11.8% smash

Gene Munny - 12.4% smash

Spike Trivet - 12.% smash

Kevin Sullivan - 13.1% smash

Triple H (Terra Ryzing variant) - 18.6% smash

Eric Bischoff (NWO) - 20.0% smash

Gorgeous George - 21.4% smash

Top Women Overall

Kris Statlander - 91% smash

Athena - 90.2% smash

Hikaru Shida - 89.7% smash

Utami Hayashishita - 88.9% smash

Toni Storm - 88.1% smash

Bottom Women Overall

Eve Torres - 47.1% smash

Carmella - 47.8% smash

Nikkita Lyons - 48.2% smash

Julia Hart (Cheerleader Variant) - 49.8% smash

Kelly Kelly - 50.3% smash

Top Men Overall

Minoru Suzuki (Young Variant) - 88.7% smash

Swerve Strickland - 88.3% smash

Hiroshi Tanahashi - 87.7% smash

Hangman Adam Page - 86.4% smash

Hikuleo - 86.0% smash

Top Tag Teams

The Golden Lovers - 80.4% smash

Unholy Union - 74.3% smash

Best Friends - 66.7% smash

Motor City Machine Guns - 65.5% smash

Roppongi Vice - 62.7% smash

There were some new additions to the overall lists this week. Utami Hayashishita earned a spot on both the top overall list and the top women's list, and Gorgeous George just barely kicked Charlie Dempsey off the bottom overall list.

We've now had three polls on Jon Moxley, and the ranking is:

Current AEW Mox - 84.8% smash

Dean Ambrose - 84.6%

CZW Mox - 82.3%

Also, people prefer non-mullet Eddie Guerrero (80.5% smash) to Eddie Guerrero with a mullet (77.0% smash), and people prefer Randy Orton sans mustache (62.3% smash) to Randy Orton with mustache (50.9% smash).

Also like...88.7% of you would have done Minoru Suzuki when he was young, but only 51.8% of you would do old Suzuki? To echo the sentiments of a few reblogs, is this not the "sexualize that old man" website?

In actual blog news, the 250th poll was posted today, and we hit 500 followers a couple weeks ago but I forgot until now. Thank you so much to everyone who's followed, submitted poll requests, reblogged, liked, and otherwise interacted with this blog!

And now for some of my favorite tags and comment

@lghockey on Gorgeous George: #what in the revolutionary war is that haircut

@booboo-eyedbambi on Bear Boulder: #i need him to squish me like he's trying to get the last of his toothpaste out of me

@midcarder on Minoru Suzuki: #the only reason to not fuck suzuki is because you're afraid

@regalityandcoffee on Carmelo Hayes: #on one hand hes hot#in the other hand i once had a dream he tried to kill me so- I once had a dream that William Regal put drugs in my suitcase as I was going on vacation with Mox. Wrestlers are rude af in dreams.

#weekly wrap up

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caarolinebb · 3 months

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A few more theories:

1. Bloody rose is killing every person that the liars hate. Kelly was threatened by Imogen, right?

2. What if Rose is Mouse's biological mother? And that's why she's talking Mouse's grandma.

3. From the poster for this season, it seems that there's 3 As. So I still think there are more people involved.

4. I think it's strange that Dr. Sullivan was putting Imogen's mom's mask in her nightmare. Because later we see the grave of her lost son and right after we see the grave of Imogen's mom. There's a lot of connections that they could make out of that relationship.

5. I'd love to see one of the liars be A. Imogen literally threatened Kelly. Maybe she's disassociating and doesn't even know.

#pll #pll theory #pllss #pll summer school #pretty little liars theories #pretty little liars #pretty little liars summer school #imogen adams #kelly beasley

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ivesblosson · 3 months

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Who is Bloody Rose?

Okay, so Ms. Beasley is out of the suspect list. She could attack Kelly in the pool, but that was at night. Dr. Sullivan was attacked before sunset, and Ms. Beasley was in a closet when it happened, so she can't be in it alone.

I feel like Ms. Lansbury, Chip's mom, is the best suspect, but Tabby called attention to that, and I don't think the show-writers would have done it if she was Bloody Rose.

Two of Bloody Rose's kills were people connected to the Church Cult, I wonder if there's a relevance to it.

Deputy Moore was on the list, but we never hear a why. I actually have no thoughts on the character.

Dr. Sullivan might have faked going missing to mislead the girls. But I don't have strong feelings about her anymore.

Maybe the movie director who wants a sequel to his true crime movie? But it would suck if the villain was someone who was first mentioned in the pre-season finalle. Only that perhaps we have seen him before under another name. (Scratch this, turns out Ari Aster is a real person, and I don't think PLL would make a real person be the killer).

Wes is off my list, simply based on feels. Like, he was the one behind the Spookie Spaghetti movies, but not behind Bloody Rose itself.

The love interests, Christian, Johnny & Jen, can only be part of it if they are working with someone else. Between them, the only one I don't just is Jen, but still, not sure if she's on the Bloody Rose plot.

Which leaves me with the possibility of a Imogen's mom having a twin. The liars jump straight into thinking about a mask or make-up and not a twin. I still struggle to think on a motive for Imogen's aunt to torment all the girls, but if Spencer's british twin was the villain in PLL, so I mean, twinhood is on the table.

My final choice for Bloody Rose is Chip's Mom, Ms. Langsbury (or however it is that you write that). Guess next week we'll know for sure.

#pllos #pretty little liars original sin #pll original sin #pll summer school #pretty little liars summer school

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sanityshorror · 1 year

Note

hey!~ it's my bitrhday today, how would the hellcrew wish others a happy birthday?

Killian actually loves holidays and celebrating birthdays (plus birthdays are an excuse to take the birthday person to a strip club and get tons of coke (the drug) and hookers😭

Julius bakes a delicious birthday dinner and cake, will insist the birthday person have a self pamper day, and give only 2-3 gifts, but very meaningful ones. One of the gifts is always a really badass handmade leather jacket.

Kelly, like Killian, is a party mf. They'll contribute to making the party extra wild.

Vivi will manage to get the birthday person's favorite musician/band to put on a live and personal performance (Vivi has a lot of connections to the music industry and has played guitar in quite a few famous rock and metal bands).

Sullivan will do decorating and buy a crap ton of gifts.

Cian, he's another party mf. Prepare for extreme chaos.

Duvessa is the one to do the pampering

You'll have to ask @gracilissart about Seamus and Sera, and @scarfaxia about Devlin!

#hellcrew

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dustedmagazine · 2 months

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Bizhiki — Unbound (Jagjaguwar)

Just under 50,000 people or about 1% of Wisconsin’s people are native American, a relatively small percentage compared to Western states like Alaska and South Dakota. However, there’s a vibrant native American culture in the Badger State nonetheless, with tribes celebrating traditional music, dance, food and storytelling at pow wows held throughout the state. Dylan Bizhikiins Jennings of Bizhiki came out of that tradition, as did his adopted brother Rainey (though in the neighboring state of Minnesota). For this project, the two of them have connected with another rural Wisconsin musical tradition, the dreamy, expansive vocal pop of Bon Iver and its offshoots. Justin Vernon guests on one of Unbound’s songs, while his frequent collaborator Sean Carey is a full-fledged member of the group.

Bizhiki’s music combines traditional native American chant with an indie electronic palette of sounds. It’s a blend that might easily fail to gel, and yet it works fairly consistently. The best cuts put the Native American elements in the foreground. The least effective slip into generic chillwave territories, a slightly more exotic version of Washed Out. It’s hard to argue with the exultant drumming and trance-inducing vocals of “Rez News,” for instance, but “She’s All We Have,” while earnest in its ecological message, sounds too much like standard-issue electronic pop. “Nashke!” gets the balance best, beginning in whispery indie guitars and vocals and building to an ecstatic, keening climax. A cool Western-style verse — Carey, evidently — blossoms into echoing group chants, and the two sides meet, not seamlessly exactly, but in collaboration.

You can definitely make out Justin Vernon’s unearthly falsetto in “Gigawaabamin (Come Through)” though the liner notes are at pains to credit Native singer Mike Sullivan as “featured artist.” Here, a dance beat thunders, a jazz bass slithers, a indie rock chorus croons in mega-pop style, but the part that hits you hardest is the vibrating, trilling, old-time chant. You could think of Bizhiki as indie pop with a secret sauce, but it’s more than that. The Native American bits are the transcendent ones. They’re a doorway into another tradition, strange, compelling and beautiful.

Jennifer Kelly

#bizhiki #unbound #jagjaguwar #jennifer kelly #albumreview #dusted magazine #native american #pow wow #sean carey #bon iver

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phantomoftheorpheum · 3 months

Note

i have mixed feelings about summer school. the season finale was much more interesting than the original sin finale in terms of action. but i didn’t like the actual storytelling. i had similar questions as you:

1. what exactly happened between shawn and jen? they spent sooo much screen time on the love triangle but then didn’t even let us see the final confrontation. an extremely poor choice.

2. how did all of the girls’ phone numbers end up on spooky spaghetti? i guess wes had tabby’s - she texted him when he didn’t show up for work - but the others?

3. where were ash & greg?

4. who pushed sullivan down the stairs? why did they make her actually be horrible?

5. what did mrs beasley do to kelly off-screen all of those episodes ago? all of a sudden they are able to have a civil conversation for hours about bloody rose (after kelly locked her up for hours lol)

6. how was johnny going into the freezer so often but didn’t see the bodies as quickly as imogen did?

i’m afraid they are going to rush through some of these answers in a montage like they did in 2x01…

more general issues: i don’t understand why mouse’s grandmother took up so much screen time despite not really having any interesting payoff. noa has not faced any kind of “reckoning” and i really don’t look forward to them dragging jen into next season. nothing about bloody rose really connected to archie and/or the real bloody rose. imogen’s daughter ended up not being that relevant at all…

this season felt all over the place to me. the mrs langsbury and wes team up was satisfying enough because they were two common suspects but for that reason i wasn’t gagged. it just made sense. again, a better finale than original sin but the season overall didn’t do it for me. i’m sorry if this all over the place! 😭

I'm with you! We have a lot of the same questions/feelings.

I did like this finale significantly better than season 1. I will always rather have predicted the antagonists and have their actions make sense (and also have at least one of them present with screen time enough to feel like a real character), than have the reveal be some random side character with no set up and backstory you couldn't possibly have guessed. So that's an improvement, for sure. But it definitely was MESSY af. I knew it was going to be a little difficult to tie all the threads together, and it was. There's a lot of stuff left dangling that I don't think was really on purpose (like I am okay with loose threads if they are there to inform the next season, but I don't think most of these were).

I'm gonna give you my best guesses at all the questions you had, even though they a very much questions I am still asking.

I cannot even begin to explain this one. This just feels like production was wildly off base with how they thought this storyline was going to go over. Maybe the writers didn't agree on how this should be utilized, so they wrote it one way, then changed some stuff, but not enough stuff?

It genuinely makes no sense. These numbers got out right away, so before Henry became brainwashed by the cult (which, btw, very weird they did not explain IF Wes was hiring all these people out of the cult, like how did Henry miss this? Also how did Kelly miss this? and Mrs. Beasley? And Pastor Malachi?), Greg wouldn't have had those numbers, Ash wasn't even in the episode, Christian, Johnny, Jen, and Coach Rhodes all only got 1 persons number and it would have meant all of them betraying the girls. I assume Dr. Sullivan had the numbers and she could have done it, but she doesn't seem to be that type of evil.

lol. Just conveniently not around. I can buy the Greg one- he and Kelly aren't a couple, he and Faran haven't been "together" (flinging?) very long, so no one wanted to tell him. But Ash??? how do you not tell Ash about what's happening??

I have these questions, too. How much of her story about her was true? Why was she separated and tied up by Wes, what was her role in the finale supposed to be? I'm pretty confused on this point.

Again, yes.

The only explanation I've got for this one is that they weren't there all season? Like they were kept elsewhere and intentionally put there later. But this makes waaay more sense if Wes doesn't want to get caught and Jen is working with him. Because then Wes is trying to frame someone else, and gets Jen to plant the "What about Johnny and Christian?" seed with Noa (who, it did not escape me, literally used Jen's phrasing word for word when bringing this up) to send Imogen and Tabby off to investigate their respective boyfriends and find the stuff they've been set up with. Because they have been set up, even if Wes isn't planning on them ultimately taking the fall, but if Jen isn't in on it, then it's just pure coincidence that either of those set ups worked AT ALL.

So yeah, definitely with you on this! I had a really fun time watching this season, and I feel like that might get lost in my "but wtf is happening?" posts sometimes, so- I did actually have a lot of fun. But this was far from perfect and I think there were a few really big misses with the storytelling & I want answers!!

#ask #answered #anon #pll #pll summer school #pretty little liars summer school #pretty little liars #pll spoilers #pll summer school spoilers #pretty little liars summer school spoilers #pretty little liars spoilers #scream spoilers

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unfortunate-arrow · 11 months

Text

general disclaimer: do not support or agree with jkr’s views or actions, but not here to explicitly discuss my personal or political views

OC x OC Connections: 1870s-1950s • 1960s-2000s

𝐋𝐄𝐆𝐀𝐂𝐘 𝐄𝐑𝐀 | 𝐇𝐏𝐇𝐋

general disclaimer: these guys have no connection to the actual hogwarts legacy game. they just happen to be around the same time as the hphl mc.

Orla O’Rourke

Cillian Lynch

Tadhg Lynch

Niamh Kelly

Vincent Fitzroy

Brianna O’Rourke

𝐕𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐀𝐍 𝐄𝐑𝐀 | 𝐇𝐏𝐇𝐋

Maxwell Pembroke

Georgie Parsons

Edmund Kennedy

Minerva Kennedy

Simon Battersea

William Devlin

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐋𝐃 𝐖𝐀𝐑 𝟏 | 𝐖𝐖𝟏

Ophelia Lovell

Linus Sullivan

Colm O’Shea

Minor OCs

⤷ Eugene Lovell • Ralph Myers

𝐅𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂 𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐒 | 𝐅𝐁𝐀𝐖𝐓𝐅𝐓

general disclaimer: these ocs only have tangential ties to the movies and are not involved in anything that has to do with the movies.

Rory O’Neill

Aisling Lynch

Minor OCs

⤷ Francesca Ashby

𝐇𝐎𝐆𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒 𝐌𝐘𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐘 | 𝐇𝐏𝐇𝐌

Ruth Lyman

Ryan O’Donnell

Cara O’Donnell

Sara O’Donnell

Conor O’Donnell

Minor OC

⤷ Cian Jacob O’Donnell

𝐀𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐒 𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐒

Camila Valdez

Nicholas Wraxall

𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐂 𝐀𝐖𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐃 | 𝐇𝐏𝐌𝐀

Finn MacKade

Nate MacKade

Jack Whitten

Benedict Whitten

Thea Whitten

Minor OCs

⤷ Paddy MacKade • Owen MacKade

𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓 𝐆𝐄𝐍

Sophie Pembroke

Luke Battersea

Declan O’Donnell-Lee

Quinn Power

Jude Cozens

𝐅𝐀𝐍𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒

Hogwarts Legacy & Victorian Era | part 1 • part 2

Fantastic Beasts & WW1

Hogwarts Mystery

Magic Awakened & Next Gen | part 1 • part 2

𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐍 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐊𝐒

HP 12 Months of Magic (2023) one-shots

30 Day (2020) OTP Challenge

Valentine’s Day 2022 Challenge

Spring Break 2022 Challenge

Summer Break 2022 Challenge

Back to School 2022

#arrow’s masterlist #*my masterlist #hp victorian era #hphl #hp wwi era #hp ww1 era #fbawtft oc #fbawtft era #hphm #hogwarts mystery #hpma #magic awakened #hp next gen oc #golden era oc #my ocs #obligatory nope to the author #legacy kiddos have no interaction with the actual game… and time period line-ups are coincidental!#fantastic kiddos only have tangential ties to the movies #really only hogwarts mystery kiddos have any relation to the rest of their era

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colleenmurphy · 7 months

Text

"I swear to God if I see you around my daughter again I'll have your balls. You understand me, boy?"

Flashing the oyster shucking knife at the impossibly pimply teenage Romeo, who not a month before had called her such vile names and pushed Sarah down a flight of stairs but not before he kicked her books away from her when she tried to get up. He was a Matsek through and through and Colleen added him to the 'hate on sight' list steadily growing to include almost the entire clan, save five that had moved away and made something of themselves. Going so far as to change the spelling if their last name to cut ties.

"Sarah...you ok?"

Studying her mother with wide blue green eyes Sarah burst into tears as Colleen pulled her close and stroked her long dark hair.

"He told me I'd better make sure I lock my doors otherwise...he'd.."

She didn't even have to hear her daughter finish her sentence, she'd remembered his body language as she'd found him backing her into a corner on their own front porch. He was still walking up the street Colleen noticed almost begging for her to come after him so he could make a spectacle. She wouldn't allow that, instead she'd give him a taste of his own medicine.

"What's his first name?"

"Eugene..."

What an unfortunately fitting name for such a little creep. It was somewhere between the set of his jaw and the color of hair that Colleen first noticed a few things. It hadn't taken long or any deep digging detective work on her end to figure out that this little thug was Dave's progeny with the Matsek bitch that had tried to make her life a living hell when they were growing up. Jealousy had gotten the best of her from the get go in kindergarten until Kelly's Dad, Paweł had popped up missing after a few unpaid debts at the OTB parlor down the alley of the bar owned by Murphy, the flower and corner grocery owned by Starling and the butcher owned by Flannery.

His mother was one of Dave's best customers when it came to back room buying and various calls for 'extensions'. It sure as hell wasn't at Colleen's salon these days, she was a Bargain Mart bottle blonde for a cool $10 for 2. Sully was currently out on business, making a contact in Columbia and then making his way to Mexico to pick up a new strain of flower. The Sullivans had made a name quietly for themselves over the years thanks in part to her own Father's dealings with the Flannery family, her first marriage into it, that one wasn't even a year and then Frank Flannery had gone missing only to turn up in a New York harbor. Colleen was the one with the connections and the brains. Dave was just the figure head while she held the power.

"You sure you don't want me to just go in for you, Colly?"

Colleen shook her head and patted Jackie on the shoulder. She fought the urge to kiss him dead on the lips but she knew that would lead to other things. She needed a clear head.

"Nah, I got this, babe."

Only she and her best friend knew Sarah's true lineage was the result of Col's free spirited youth when she hitch hiked to an artists colony down south and met a slightly older man who was home from the war. He'd come from the city but was looking for something new, he'd probably end up down further south somewhere he'd mentioned. After they traveled for a few days and made it to the tiny town of Sloughbridge he left her quietly one evening just after sunset. She'd always remember that his eyes were the same color as the sky on a cloudless day. He was a pilot, a Treetop Flyer. Jimmy had been truly pissed off but more worried than anything else but upon discovering that Colleen was pregnant with his first grandchild he hurried to marry her to finally seal a business deal and to stop the small town he virtually owned from talking about his hippie new age daughter. The eldest Flannery boy, Frank , hadn't been the brightest bulb and had a bit of an anger issue until Colleen had taken things into her own hands. By then every piece of paperwork of signed, sealed and delivered and all the business i's were dotted and the t's crossed. Mary Colleen Murphy-Flannery was a very wealthy not to mention connected woman about town as well as abroad. She fell into Sullivan's lap due to another piece of family business, this time on her dearly departed mother Minnie's side. The Sullivan family owned the McGuire's a significant amount of money due to a loan to purchase their orchards and the town dairy, Col still received a check every now and again from a far flung Sullivan relative whose turn it was to make a payment. Money and material things never mattered to her, she was trying to raise Sarah to live simply, be aware and open to others.

'You're the very best thing that's ever happened to me...do you know that?'

She'd whispered nearly every night to her daughter since she'd come into the world, probably even before. It didn't matter that her child had no true father, this little girl was hers to raise, fiercely and unafraid of the world.

It took no time for Colleen to scale the lattice to the second story and slide the window open.

"Jesus Christ this woman's fucking insane...My mother never did anything like this for me."

Jackie said as he shook his head and lit a cigarette watching as the dark haired woman slipped inside nice and easy. She must have been a cat burglar in the her past life. They'd been hot and heavy for a minute a few years ago but that had tamed. Dave did some under handed things with a dancer a county over and Colleen had put a stop to everyone's fun, her own included and he understood.

Landing quietly on the carpet below the window Colleen found Eugene slumbering deeply. She knew Kelly was down at the Murphy's Tavern trying her damnedest to turn Dave's ear with a sob story. Col had to give Dave that, he was a stand up guy when it came to Sarah and Colleen's happiness. They hadn't wanted for anything material but as far as spending actual time with either of them he was always off on business or making a sale or moving a shipment. The carrier pigeon would be in this evening he'd assured her and he'd already given her an alibi, she was home going over the books. So now was the time to deal with the threat her daughter had been under.

A swift kick to the bed and he was awakened, dazed by a punch to the face and then his head shoved into a black sack. Moving quickly he tied his hands behind his back. Grabbing him tight she nudged him to the car.

"What the fuck....oh christ my mother never did this for me..."

Jacking muttered as he yanked open the backdoor to the Toronado. The silver flash in the moonlight let him know that Colleen was certainly taking after her parents. Jimmy was the level headed one whereas Minnie McGuire had been a wild one, god rest her soul.

"Is she seriously using Minnie's pistol for this?"

A solid thus sounded as the car rocked slightly. Dingus Matsek had smacked his massive squared forehead off the top of the car because Colleen hadn't corrected him. That stopped his babbling for his mother. She motioned for Jackie to move over because she was the one driving this one.

"God help us, kid what did you do to piss her off?"

The engine roared to life as the lights came up with the flick of a switch. Thundering guitars and bells filled the car as the drum beat thrummed.

I won't take no prisoners, won't spare no lives, Nobody's putting up a fight, I got my Bell, I'm gonna take you to Hell

"HELP! SOMEONE HELP ME!"

A squeaky scream muffled only slightly by the black sack over his face. Slipping on the safety she brought her arm back and cocked the noisy little shit right in the mouth with the butt of her gun.

"You're going to be taking a neat little trip far faaaar away my dear little bastard stepson."

"What..."

Jackie had now had his interest peaked. The way she took side streets worried him for a moment. Just how Colleen learned to drive was a mystery as Jimmy hadn't allowed her to do much.

"I went fucking missing for three months. I'm a quick learner. Just hang on and shut up and if you have to throw up roll the window down."

Was what she had said the one time he'd called her to pick him up after a night of drinking years ago. Whoever had taught her had instilled a need for careful speed and tight turns. She also drove on the defensive and always drove a stick.

"I know Dave's been cutting checks for years to pay your mother for your upkeep. He's not listed on your birth certificate but there's no doubt you're his. Still sneaking around with your mother too."

Thundering down the road they turned and Eugene went sliding along the leather with a shriek.

"What's happening?! That doesn't...my mom..."

"Is a lying whore who's the town doorknob and your Dad's a piece of shit too. I know kid. Now get out of my car."

Yanking him out by the hair she walked him along the tarmac where the strip looked completely dead.

"Who are you?!"

Yanking the bag off she let him face her and stare directly into her eyes.

"The mother of a young girl who you had no right to bully. You're nearly twenty and still a junior. She's a freshman and newly fifteen. But you can call me your nightmare."

"Mrs. Sullivan?"

"Right-o. Now, here comes your absolute worst nightmare."

"She-she doesn't have a Dad..."

"It wasn't an immaculate conception, I assure you."

Holding up a slim hand she shushed him. All three of them stood there listening closely as as thunderous road fell from the sky. In an instant a hulking plane appeared on the tarmac.

"There he is, right on time."

It was Jackie's turn to be amazed into a stupor

"Oh hell no..."

He muttered as he dropped his lit cigarette from his lips. That deep rose red and cream paint job gave it away as Treetop. His weed man for damn near close to sixteen years. How the hell had he met Colleen?

Maybe the world should take her more seriously.

He thought to himself as he watched the scene unfold.

The engines cut out as a hulking figure emerged from the cabin of the plane. To Eugene he looked big enough to blot out the very sun if there had been one. A shiver went up his spine as he fought to keep his composure. This woman was insane, her bodyguard was just standing there and now this hulking dude that knew how to fly a fucking plan looked like he wanted make Eugene swallow his own teeth. He never should have targeted Sarah Murphy. But he hadn't known, his mother pushed him to find fault with her when in reality there hadn't been anything wrong with her.

"You like Thailand, boy?"

Completely unsure of what to say his brain defaulted as this man held his gaze. Something about his awake the need to run.

"N-nnoo..."

The flush in his face deepened as he heard Mrs. Sullivan cackle upwards toward the moon. A deep chortle was heard from her two cronies. A warm rush something ran down his pants and into his shoes. Eugene David Matsek was nearly legal drinking age and he'd just managed to piss himself in front of absolute strangers.

"Get in the plane, piss pants."

"What...what about my mom?"

"She'll be joining you soon enough. So will Dave. Think of it as a fresh start. You can get a start on the hut."

With a wave the long dark haired woman gave him a cold little wave.

"Don't ever fuck with my daughter ever again."

Was her final warning before she kissed the pilot dead on the lips and gave him a wave.

"I'll meet you next week. Let me know how this goes..and if he pisses you off too badly send him out the door with the parachute."

#Colleen Murphy #blurbs #Never Was a Blue Calm Sea verse

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newsie-collective · 1 year

Text

Cowboy (Jack Kelly)

Quickfire favorites!

Food: "Anythin' from Medda 's always real good"

Color: "Red. Don' tell Conlon."

Season: "Springtime. 'S the easiest time ta go sellin'."

Weather: "Cloudy bu' not rainin'."

Hobby: "Paintin' o'course."

Animal: "Meadowlark"

Memory: "Meetin' Davey. He was shy 'n awkward at firs', an' o'course he had that mouth on him. I know'd from that day he was gon' fit right in. An' Les o'course fit in from tha second he was there."

Comfort Item: "The blanket Medda made fo' me 'n Francis before we got to the Lodge."

Jack Kelly. A.K.A. Cowboy. A.K.A. Francis Sullivan.

Well... Not so much that last one. Just because Snyder couldn't get his name right, doesn't mean that was it.

His name, from birth, had always been Jack Kelly. The newsies called him Cowboy, but he'd never gone by anything else.

Francis Sullivan had been his big brother's name. They looked so similar they could've been twins, though they were separated in age by a few years.

But, Jack looked up to his big brother, followed him everywhere. When his brother would get into trouble, or into fights, he would tell Jack to hide or run.

That's why Jack took a liking to Les so quickly. He had loved his brother so much that he was excited to be able to fill that role for someone else.

His parents weren't around, he and Francis lived in 'The Lodge' (as Francis called it) with the other newsies from a young age. Jack can't remember a time from his childhood he wasn't cramped into a bed between Francis and Mush.

Their father was good friends with Medda, and Francis continued that connection with her, dragging Jack along to shows and to help with the sets. Francis was far better at actually building them than he was at anything else backstage.

Jack was too young to actually help build when they first started going, so he would just sit and watch Francis build.

At least until he would get distracted by the people painting the gorgeous backdrops.

And they finally let him pick up a paintbrush.

And this boy was ass at painting at first, but the other guys around encouraged him and helped him get better, and he eventually got to where he would paint backdrop after backdrop. He spent every day there between selling times, with or without Francis.

And then Francis had made enough money building things around town, that he could head west. He told Jack that he would find somewhere to live, and come back and get him.

Francis left when Jack was 13, and would send him letters day after day. They told no one that he was leaving, which is why Snyder thought that Francis Sullivan was still around the many times Jack was arrested.

And one day they just stopped coming. The last letter he got was postmarked from Santa Fe, which is why he was so hellbent on going there. It's why he could paint the town without ever having been there. His brother sent him photos with almost every letter.

Jack worked harder after that. He was trying to save up money to go after his brother.

The big problem with that was that Jack is an absolute sucker. Especially for newsies.

He would give everything to keep them safe, and fed, and comfortable, and happy.

Literally anything.

He's given up his freedom.

He gave up his dream.

Everything for his newsies.

His brother had gone west and disappeared, and stopped sending anything

Jack has always assumed that Francis had forgotten him. Had moved on with his life.

So Jack threw himself into selling papes, still wanting to go to Santa Fe just to know what happened.

And then he met Davey, and it was all over. From the second he laid eyes on him, he was Davey's.

He still wanted to go find out what happened to Francis, but now he had a reason to stay.

He had his newsies, and his paintings, and his Davey.

Medda always made sure he was taken care of, but he hated taking things from her. He hated taking orders from people. Even Medda's well meaning advice earned some special rebellion.

After Francis, it was hard to listen to people.

But, Davey made it easy. He was infuriatingly level-headed and thought everything through. It was easy to stop soaking scabs and to stop mouthing off as much to Medda, and to actually start accepting help.

Davey also really helped him define his self worth.

It isn't perfect, but it's getting better.

It's easy to let Davey take control of the brainy side of the strike. Jack had been taking care of the boys in The Lodge for years, and had had the weight of the world on his shoulders. And with Davey it just falls away. And he doesn't know how he could ever repay him or thank Davey enough for everything he's done to help him or his family. Even Kloppman couldn't get this stubborn dumbass to accept help or handouts (even though this stubborn dumbass gives help and handouts like it’s the holidays)

Davey helped Jack get smarter. In a way that he never thought would ever be possible.

Absolutely knows everyone’s special interests.

This is from a fic I read but it was so FUCKING Jack Kelly. I’m gonna try and find the link (fair warning I’m fairly certain it was smut (it is) so do with that what you will)

“Davey’s eyes are utterly, impossibly blue. It drives Jack all kinds of crazy. They’re easily Davey’s most striking feature: big and expressive and capable of crumbling Jack’s willpower into dust with a single pleading look. It’s unfair, really, that Davey has such ridiculously pretty eyes. He’s already so good with words that he could talk a lemon into tasting sweet, he really doesn’t need another weapon at his disposal. He’s not sure what it is about Davey’s eyes in particular—Jack’s dated plenty of people with blue eyes before and they never drove him half-mad with want—but Jack’s spent hours staring at them, thinking about them, painting them. And, hell, he knows he’s a sap, knows that Davey would probably find his constant staring really creepy if he ever stopped being so oblivious, but Jack just can’t help himself. He’s pathetically gone over on the guy.”

Painting, art in general really, became an escape for Jack. It was how he really learned how to express himself.

Natural born leader (mostly), cares about everyone far more than he should. More than he cares about himself. Please dear god someone help this boy find some self worth. He put it down somewhere so he wouldn’t lose it. And fucking lost it. I think Francis took it to Santa Fe

Dumb as fuck, but, unlike the others, he knows and will readily admit it.

He has mad street smarts though

Jack is totally definitely older than Davey and not in denial at all about that fact

Jack sings in the shower, but only when he’s alone

He’s an insomniac. Too good at staying up into all hours of the night, usually painting

Someone always has to be up with him, though. If he spends too much time alone he starts to spiral

This boy thinks too much about David fucking Jacobs. Everything he talks about leads back to him.

Jack why do you paint?

“It helps wit' me emotions. 'N makes me feel closa to tha people I cares 'bout. 'Specially Davey”

Jack what’s your plans for the future?

“Move in wit' Davey. Live in a house too big fo' us. Have kids. Treat 'em betta than we eva was.”

Besides Davey, what’s your biggest muse when it comes to art?

Radio. Fucking. Silence.

Jack found Racer when he was ten. And all but dragged him to the Lodge (it totally helped that he “bought” Racer a cigar from the corner store)

Kloppman knew this motherfucker was gonna stay. And he death glared Jack. Because he didn’t need another one. But Jack wasn’t letting this child go hungry… hungrier?

He was quiet. For like a week. And then he was just pure unbridled chaos

Will flip anyone and everyone off with force. No I will not be elaborating

Jacks lengthy morning rambles to Crutchie went from Santa Fe to a real life with Davey (with at least three dogs and two kids. And Les was def allowed to live and/or visit with them in these fantasies) where Davey has some super cool high-end job that he wants, and Jack spends his time taking care of the household and painting and probably hosting several dozen newsie parties

Pulling Davey in by the belt loops to kiss him (and the other way around) drives him insane

Head kisses, temple kisses, cheek kisses literally anything he can reach he is gonna go for it

And if Davey does it?

Jack melts into a puddle

Jack and Racer have kissed accidentally.

They were so comfortable around each other that people kept asking when they were going to date.

Every time someone asked, they would jokingly turn like they were gonna kiss, but almost always shoved each other.

Once they both expected the other to push them.

Neither of them did

It was really awkward, lasted like .2 second, and they both laughed til they cried.

Jack always starts pillow fights.

He never wins

He also never learns

Because everyone gangs up on him

He has a giant sweet tooth but it makes him really hyper and that makes him really anxious

Jack realized he was gay. Eventually.

He had this moment at like 12 where he was sitting with a boy who he was friends with at lunch and had the very clear and exact thought “I bet it’d be nice to kiss him” but legitimately though it was a Friend Thing™️

It honestly took Medda sitting him down after hearing the millionth rant about Davey's eyes

And she was like “Darlin' you’ve gotta get your shit together”

And LET SOMEONE TELL ANYONE THAT THEIR FEELINGS/GENDER ARENT VALID

JACK MOTHERFUCKING KELLY WILL POP THE FUCK OFF

Jack rambles in Spanish when he gets anxious. Because that’s how he and Francis kept their secrets when they were on the streets.

I was gonna talk about how awful his handwriting definitely would've been, but this bitch doesn't know how to write. He can piece together enough letters to read, but writing is a whole new monster.

Jack: This is Davey, my partner Davey, internally: Partner? That's so adult, I'm really proud of him! He didn't just call me his fella like the others do Jack: 🤠

Bonus Round: Medda Larkin/Larkson

She’s not his mother. A lot of people probably think so. She and Jack are close and she was friendly with his father.

She might not be his mother, but he was definitely her son.

Jack’s dad is why she stopped working for the circus. He was a hired hand one night in New York and they became friends quickly. Medda talked about how hard she was working to be able to afford her theater. He told her that she’d never get there if she worked herself to death. Later, she met one of the patrons at the circus and played romance with him. They were married quickly, allowing Medda to leave the circus.

She had considered marrying Jack’s dad, but decided against it. She knew that he was a man to marry for true love and didn’t wanna take that away from him or to whoever he’d marry.

They stayed close, and she loved his sons.

Francis was her first boy. He was a dreamer, like Jack, and a bit more sensitive than others. He’d build sets and bring Jack along. And when Jack picked up that paintbrush… His first paintings weren’t great, but you could tell he was going to be amazing. All the work and love he put into his art…

She had just bought the theater when Francis left. He had taken a few days off and wrote her a letter saying goodbye and to look after Jack while he was gone(she would have even he he didn’t ask). He wrote to her a few times, and she has all the letters saved at home.

👻

Please someone ask me about my trans!Oscar hc I beg of you 😭

#`newsies #92sies #askthenewsies #carrying the banner #newsies #newsies of new york #livesies #king of new york #jack kelly #francis sullivan #medda larkin #medda larkson #santa fe #jack still needs that self worth #if anyone in santa fe has seen francis plz let him know that jack needs that back #see if he'll bring it back #not me posting on time for once #👻

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regina-cordium · 1 year

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literally nobody asked for this, but if i’m not bringing half-baked daemon aus to every fandom i’m vaguely in, literally what is the point of me

things to keep in mind:

I literally have the daemon forum open in another tab. this is essentially stream of consciousness. virginia woolf who?

mostly based on livesies if only because that’s the one i’ve seen the most, but there’s some touches of 92sies (aka Sarah Jacobs is here because I love her and it’s pride month, this is my lesbian agenda)

Literally only two characters have canon ages (Jack at 17 and Les at 9). The actors in livesies are obviously a lot older than the actors in 92sies so i’m kinda like. averaging the ages out lmao

that being said, a lot of the kids’ daemons wouldn’t be settled so i think this will just focus on the ones whose would be

also i don’t know the name of all the newsies i didnt get sucked TOO deep into the fandom in 2012 or 2017, so i’m playing catch up like a full decade later, pls be gentle with me

OH ALSO probably no daemon names bc i tend to put a fair amount of research into the names and i don’t have the brain cells for that right now lol

ANYWAY

JACK -- francis “jack kelly” sullivan. loyal, warm, welcoming, protective, friendly, flirty, desperately wants to be selfish but knows in his heart of hearts he can’t. street smart but maybe not too book smart. clever, quick thinker, dreamer (”i can’t spend my whole life dreaming/even thought that’s all i seem inclined to do”)

His daemon’s a blue jay, for sure. look at those core traits:

socially flexible extrovert -- out going, loyal to his boys but still open to new friendships/connections (he looked at davey and went “oh im gonna be his best friend.” was ready and willing to work with the other boroughs during the strike. the charismatic leader who makes everyone feel welcome and listened to

aggressive/confrontational -- my man started a strike. duh.

bold/adventurous -- his whole santa fe thing, wants to DO THINGS. i had more words to say here but they have abandoned me.

resourceful/innovative -- decided to start a strike after, like, 10 seconds of thinking. after flirting with katherine, his whole “today we stopped the scabbers, tomorrow we stop the wagons” speech (i definitely misremembered the first half). though he Does have to be bullied into it, he does know each step the strike needs to take, and knows how to do it even after plan a fails. the whole once and for all/using pulitzer’s own fucking printing press to print the children’s crusade?? c’mon man, who would’ve thought of it

shrewd -- observant!! sees what’s place in front of him and immediately knows how to work with it. looks at his boys and knows immediately what they need!

communicative -- okay, he has A Little trouble with this, but he’s also a 17 year old boy. they’d rather die than communicate. HOWEVER. he goes himself to speak with spot conlon and the brooklyn newsies, aka the most important allies they’ve got. turns davey’s big/expressive words into those the other newsies would understand (jack would’ve explained what auspicious meant. i know he would’ve)

status-orientated -- i’m interpreting this differently than i’m probably meant to. i think he’s more status AWARE. he knows who to go after for the biggest impact. he knows the leaders of the other boroughs and how to sweet talk them. he knows that going after weasel and the delanceys ultimately accomplishes nothing and he has to go straight to the top, etc etc

DAVID -- davey jacobs. one strong breeze away from a panic attack. SO good at hiding it. yknow the song razzle dazzle from chicago, that’s essentially “if you’re really good at making people think you know what you’re doing, they won’t stop to consider you’re full of shit” that’s kinda davey. he’s the most educated of the newsies and uses that to his advantage. talks himself out of trouble, which would be better if he hadn’t talked himself INTO the trouble in the first place. one day, like, 2 years into him being a newsie, race stops and is like “hey. do we even know davey’s favorite color?” is so good at letting people think they know all about him without actually giving away the actual deep knowledge of himself. he’s so tired. he’s not the group mom, he’s the exhausted uncle who was asked to babysit for a day that turned into him adopting the fucking kids.

okay, i’m torn between two, but I think caracal is my ultimate decision (the giant otter shrew was my other choice, if anyone cares)

socially tolerant introvert -- he’ll step forward as the co-leader of the manhattan boys during the strike, but by god is gonna have a panic attack about it later. he understands it’s important, though, that he put the idea in jack’s head and that jack relies on him to be the brains to his brawn. besides, it’s not hard to stand up for the newsies when he genuinely likes the kids (yes, even albert. it surprised him, too). after the strike, he’s perfectly content to let jack go back to sole leader and race back to second-in-command

adaptable -- went from schoolboy to newsie to strike leader in less than 24 hours. he showed up for his first day of selling papes. went to bed. showed up for his second day. saw the prices went up. made the mistake of saying the word “strike” around jack. suddenly is running a strike. and my man Did Not Falter

sensing/aware -- knows exactly what to say to boost the newsies (”seize the day”, anyone?). he can take stock of a situation in, like, .02 seconds and know how to move from there

communicative/expressive -- he’s called the walking mouth. need i say more.

confident/assertive -- during “world will know” he joins jack up on the scaffolding to get the chalk from the guy who writes out the headlines. when jack’s aggressiveness didn’t work, davey stepped up and talked the guy into stepping aside. just because he’s anxious doesn’t mean he doesn’t know how to project confidence (it helps that the newsies all have his back and hype him up)

opportunistic -- like. literally everything that happens. something or someone stumbles, he steps right up and takes over. jack scabs? well, fuck him i’m the leader now. also during “watch what happens (reprise)” when jack is like “joe’s a jerk/he’s a rattlesnake” davey is IMMEDIATE with the “you’re right!/and you know why a snake starts to rattle?” like “oop jackie said something i can use against him! haha!”

focused/patient -- literally wwhr again!! jack is being bitter and refusing to help and davey’s like “well, i’m gonna go win a strike soooo”

a lot of the implied/negotiable traits fit really well too

KATHERINE -- katherine pulitzer plumber. could’ve let her father pave the way to her future, but went and got it for herself. refused to let herself stay in the social pages. hell, she decided she wanted a CAREER and WENT OUT AND GOT IT despite it being 1899!! (”a girl? it’s a girl! how the hell? is that even legal???”). smart as a whip (davey fully believes she’s smarter than him, and he’s right!)

i do kinda like the idea of her having one of those prissy-looking white cats with the long hair, mostly because the kat/kitty jokes would be hilarious. however, katherine herself isn’t prissy, so i ultimately don’t think it’d work.

she would be a black-billed magpie (although i think an argument could be made for black-winged kite)

extroverted/socially flexible -- she’s a reporter, she’s gotta be out there making friends and shaking hands. she’s literally friends with other children of newspaper tycoons AND the newsies. nobody is wrong as a friend

opportunistic/adaptable -- it’s not said How she first hears about the strike, but it’s safe to assume it’s her father. she bursts into jacobi’s deli and is like “hi i’m covering your strike now, good luck getting rid of me.” she saw an opportunity to FINALLY get out of the social pages, and by god is gonna grab it with both hands

confident -- i mean, look at her. katherine knows who she is and what she wants, and she doesn’t really give a shit what everyone else thinks

proactive/short-term planner -- listen. she’s confident, she knows what she wants. i NEVER said she thought out all the steps before hand. she’s just VERY good at making people believe she’s got it all figured out (much like davey)

manipulative -- okay, this is another one where i’m definitely not taking it the way i should. BUT. i mean. she’s a reporter. what reporter hasn’t twisted some words (”a little hyperbole never hurt anyone”)

cooperative -- literally working with a small army of newsies to spread their cause

perceptive -- again. reporter. She Sees All. yknow how moms always convince their kids they have eyes on the back of their head? that’s katherine. mush is convinced she knows when he’s lying. she doesn’t, but he overcompensates for it that it becomes obvious

again, a lot of the inferred and negotiable traits also fit

RACETRACK -- racetrack higgins. this lanky motherfucker. he’s jack’s second in command so i do think he’s one of the older newsies, mayyyybe 16? i think he was only like 13 in 92sies, but meh. canon is a toy box and i’m a destructive toddler. i really like the headcanon going around that he’s a wiz with numbers and just assumes everyone else is too. he’s a bitch (affectionate) and sarcastic and literally doesn’t even sell in manhattan, but he’s ride or die for his boys.

his daemon is a raccoon, and he was furious when he settled (i. did not mean to type he, been having a lot of trouble typing today, but yknow what fuck it race has a male daemon. fuck you thats why) like. “people already see us as literaly garbage, why the fuck did you have to settle as a raccoon are you fucking kidding me?”

independent -- again. his second-in-command of the manhattan newsies, yet sells every day in brooklyn.i cannot for the life of me find it, or even remember Which actor it was, but one of the guys who played race said that he does his own thing and doesn’t keep himself stuck in manhattan (really takes “we goes were we wishes/we as free as fishes” literally)

socially flexible -- again, will make friends with kids from other boroughs (fully unrelated but i have not spelled boroughs correctly once in this post, shoutout to spell check lmao), while still being loyal to manhattan. might be a little in love with a newsie from brooklyn, who knows! not him! definitely doesn’t know that for sure!

conflict-avoidant -- look. he’ll roughhouse with the guys and get in stupid squabbles with other newsies and throw a punch or two when he absolutely has to, but he’s not a fighter. much like davey, he prefers to talk his way out of the trouble he talked himself into. he wasn’t immediately on board with the strike, seemed like a lot of trouble for AT BEST no change

intuitive/curious -- look, a man doesn’t walk across an entire bridge every day because he’s not curious about what’s going on in other places. he’s jack’s eyes and ears, because he’s just a fucking nosy little shit who wants to know everybody’s business

adaptable/opportunistic -- yall sensing a theme here? (”got a feeling ‘bout a headline/i’ll make up a headline/and i’ll say anything i hafta”). after jack scabs and fucks off, he has to step up with davey. really wish there was time in the movie OR musical for a scene about it, but davey needed support and race was right there to help

unambitious -- look. he’s pretty sure he’s only jack’s second because he’s been there the longest. he doesn’t know why jack picked him otherwise. he’s not gunning for leadership, he’s perfectly happy with where he is and what he’s go

SPOT -- sean “spot” conlon (yes i know sean is kinda a fanon name. i like it). the man, the myth, the legend. the reason everyone’s so scared of brooklyn. abrasive, rude, violent, looks out for his boys first and himself second, didn’t beat the shit out of race for selling in his borough.

i typically give assholes with hearts of gold pitbull daemons bc i think it’s funny, but like. pitbulls weren’t considered “bully” breeds in 1899 (i have a rant abt dogs being called “bully” breeds but i’ll keep my mouth shut) and idk what would’ve been. he definitely has a canine though.

this is a bit of a different analysis, because i’m using both the daemon forum AND wikipedia to get the time-appropriate facts, but i’m feeling english bulldog

in historical record, bulldogs were used for bull-baiting (which is insane. these small ass dogs baiting LITERAL BULLS. they really just did Whatever in the past, huh). they were athletic, with powerful jaws, high stamina, and short fuses. modern bulldogs are, uh. a little goofier and decidedly less athletic. poor spot. at least a lot of traditional domestic dog traits still apply

playing fast and loose with the core traits from tdf here, but self-assured/confident -- did yall see “brooklyn’s here”? my man has the cockiest grin i’ve ever seen in my LIFE

stubborn/determined -- sticks to his word of waiting to see if jack would fold before getting brooklyn involved in the strike (and he was right!! jack fucking folded!!). once he makes a decision, he sticks to it. it’s fucking impossible to change his mind (race finds it charming; hotspot finds it makes him wanna bash his head against a wall)

under the overview section on tdf, the “social” and “stress” sections fit very well. while spot has the WORST rb and comes off as cold towards others, he cares DEEPLY abt brooklyn and puts their needs first, no matter what. he’s loyal and caring to those who he claims as His

he’s thick-skinned, adaptable, and willing to forgive jack once jack comes back with a plan and a new fire under his ass

i just processed giving the kid named SPOT a dog daemon. god i’m hilarious.

CRUTCHIE -- Charles “Crutchie” Morris. i honestly don’t know what daemon he’d have!! he’s kind, loyal, understanding, an eternal optimist. he also lets himself get stepped over, lets others take advantage of that kindness. stands up for everybody but his damn self.

WAIT okay actually, i think an african wild dog would be perfect

social extrovert -- he’s so friendly!! he likes making other people smile, he’s always there to hype his friends up, he’ll do whatever and talk to whomever he has to to help his friends

conflict avoidant/passive/tolerant -- look. he talks a big game (”y’see this mister pulitzer?!”) but he knows he’s not a fighter. jack’s the brawn. he’s willing to let bygones be bygones. maybe roughhouse with the guys a bit, but nothing intense or serious

determined/hardworking/ambitious -- people look and talk down to him because of his disability, but he doesn’t let that stop him. he’s out selling every day with jack, he’s right out there with everyone during the strike. he doesn’t let anyone stop him from whatever he sets his mind to

cooperative/caring -- i’m putting these two together because i think, for him, they’re hand in hand. he has a massive heart; he cares SO MUCH and wants his friends -- his family -- to be safe and happy. like i said, he’ll work with whomever he has to in order to insure that happens

people pleaser/doormat -- let crutchie be mean 2023!!!! he’s always looking out for the others, he doesn’t have any left to look out for himself!!!!

uh. this got longer than i thought it would it’s 5 am so i hope this all makes sense and also it’s not gonna get buried away because i’m posting at such an awkward time lmao

F U C K i just realized i didn’t even get to sarah. augh. i’ll inevitably end up making another post abt this bc of what i’m like as a person, so i’ll talk abt her then sorrrrryyyyyyy

#newsies #jack kelly #david jacobs #katherine plumber #racetrack higgins #spot conlon #crutchie morris #crutchie newsies #daemon tag #my writing #fuck it it counts

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