#( even though i'm constantly having to think about how to get matt friends )

[techniiciian]

@stillsolo sent an ask:

technical machine character development meme.

fissure. does your muse have any relationships that they’d like to fix?

at this point in time, and in this specific verse, i'd have to say no. matt's content in the relationships he has with his family, his subordinates, and his friends.

wait . . . well, i suppose on a political level there are some he'd want to smooth out ( i'm leaving this vague ). this will however be a fun topic to further explore as i delve deeper into this particular verse.

[20nugs]

Hi sweet girl, can I request a story with Matt? Like where he’s starting to get feelings for one of Nick’s best friend (Y/N) where there’s a little bit of angst but at the end it’s a happy ending?

Brother's Best Friend (Matt Sturniolo x fem!reader)

summary: request

cw: cussing, feelings of anxiousness, confusion, basically just angst then happy at the end

a/n: goofy ah title, couldn't think of anything else. would you be surprised if I said i have a lot of requests like this for matt? everyone loves angsty Matt with happy at the end

Matt's POV

I bite my nails as I watch you from my kitchen island. You're in the living room, watching some show with Nick, concentrating on the TV. I can't help but adore the way your eyebrows knit together when you're focused. Then you suddenly glance over, locking eyes with me. My heart drops to my ass and I look away, cursing myself silently as I feel a blush spread across my face. I look back over and see you still watching me, smiling. I can't keep the eye contact, and I drop my head, staring at my hands that are resting on the countertop.

Everytime I look at you, something in my stomach turns in the best way possible. I can't help but notice all the little things about you, the way the part in your hair is always slightly off, the way your eyes squint when you laugh, the way your cheeks turn pink when you receive a compliment.

I glance up, and you've looked back at the TV, but this time you have a light blush on your face. I smile to myself and leave the kitchen, going up to my room. I look back at you one more time, getting butterflies as I see you laughing with Nick at a scene on the TV.

I haven't known you for very long, having only met you this past year. Nick introduced you to me as his best friend a year ago, and from then on you've hung out with us occasionally. We grew close, and I would consider you as one of my closest friends as well. But if that's true, why can't I talk to you without spluttering through my sentence? Why can't I be around you for more than five seconds without getting flustered and hot? Why can't I look at you without my stomach turning into a carousel? These questions pester me constantly.

I lay on my bed, staring up at my ceiling as I think about you, your smile, your laugh. I hear a knock on the door. I don't answer, hoping whoever it is will just assume I'm asleep so I can be alone. Until I hear your voice on the other side of the door. "Matt?" You call. I almost melt as I hear my name leave your mouth. I hold my tongue, wondering what you have to say. "Can we talk?" You ask through the door. I don't answer, even though you're one of my favorite people, i can't bring myself to talk to you after literally swooning over you in my bed.

I hear footsteps getting distant, and as soon as I can't hear them anymore, I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding in. I don't know why I get so nervous around you all the time, I've only been feeling like this recently. Everytime you look at me it's like the whole world stops spinning and I forget how to act. It feels weird to be thinking about you this way, you're my brother's best friend.

I check my phone, and a notification from you pops up. 'Can we talk?' it reads. I leave you on read, tossing my phone back to the side of my bed. I roll onto my side, avoiding my problems and thoughts. I try to distract myself, but you invade my mind every now and then.

All of a sudden, there's a pounding on my door. "Open the door, Matt," I hear Nick say loudly. I groan and get up to open the door.

I swing the door open, and Nick pushes past me to sit on my bed. "What the fuck, Nick," I say, irritated. I close my door and look at him, waiting for him to say something.

"What's up with you and my best friend?" He asks, crossing his arms. He must see the panic on my face because i see a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

I huff. "Nothing, now get out," I demand.

Nick rolls his eyes. "Don't be like that, I see the way you look at her." I glare at him, turning my head.

"It's just..." I trail off and sigh, walking over to sit next to Nick on my bed. He puts an arm over my shoulders out of reflex and I lean my head on his shoulder. "I don't know. I feel weird around her, but in a good way? Everytime I look at her I feel like I'm going to throw up, but in the best way possible."

Nick smiles. "It sounds like you have a crush," he says, poking my arm.

I roll my eyes shoving him off of me but smiling nonetheless. "Yeah, whatever," I mumble, looking away.

When I look back at Nick, he's already gaping at me. "So you do like her!" He shouts.

"Nick, shut the fuck up!" I exclaim, tackling him back onto the bed.

"When are you gonna tell her?" Nick asks in a hushed tone. I groan and lift myself off of him, turning away from him. I hear Nick sigh, and I turn back around.

"I guess I'll tell her soon," I murmur, shrugging.

"Tell me what soon?" I hear you say. I see Nick's face drop and I have no doubt that I look the same way. My head whips to you then back to Nick, who's already walking out the door. I curse him in my mind, then try to answer you.

"Uh," I start, then stop, feeling my face heat up with embarrassment. "Come in, I guess."

"You guess?" You tease before walking in and shutting the door behind you.

I stare at you as you sit down next to me. You sit close enough for us to be thigh to thigh, and I awkwardly scoot an inch away from you. Confusion flashes across your face for a moment, but it quickly replaces with curiosity. "What's going on?" You ask, a line of concern appearing between your eyebrows.

"Well," I say with a deep breath. I pause, not able to find the words.

"Well what?" You ask, teasing me again. I rub my face with my hands, my thoughts flying at a mile a minute. I'm hyper aware of everything you're doing right now. Your hand inching to my shoulder. The way you're scooting a little closer and pressing the side of your body against mine, trying to comfort me. The way your eyes flick across my face. I stand up and take a step away from you, needing space. Hurt flashes across your face only for a moment, but I still feel a pang in my heart for upsetting you, even a little bit.

"How do I say this?" I ask to no one in particular. I look back at you, waiting for my answer on my bed.

"Say what, Matt?" You ask me. I look you dead in the eyes, but look away quickly, the eye contact being to intense for me.

"That I'm..." I trail off as you stand up, walking towards me. "I'm-"

"That you're what?" You interrupt, putting your hands on my shoulders. I look at you for a second, not breathing.

"That I'm leaving," I say, spinning on my heel and quickly trying to leave.

"Matt," You call, grabbing onto my sweater. I pull my arm free from your grasp. "Just tell me," you say, exasperated. "What's the worse that'll happen?"

"I'm in love with you," I blurt out. You stare at me for a second, your mouth slightly agape, seemingly shocked. I turn, my head low as I try to escape down the stairs.

Suddenly I get yanked back around, and my lips are smashed onto yours. I break from the short and messy kiss. "What-" I start, but I don't get another word out as you've already put your mouth back against mine. This time, I kiss back, my hand moving to the back of your neck to press you harder against me. The kiss is a hungry, passionate one. I kiss you like I'm dying of thirst and your lips are the only water for miles. My free hand moves to your waist as I push you against a wall. I break the kiss briefly to take a breath then dive right back in. I can't get enough of finally having the feeling of your lips on mine.

Chris pushes past us as he walks up the stairs, looking at his phone, not caring about the scene before him. He pats my shoulder in a way to say congrats before continuing to his room. I continue to kiss you, not bothering to say anything to him. You break the kiss, giggling as I chase your lips with my own. "Matt," you breathe.

"Hmm?" I hum, kissing down your jaw.

"I'm in love with you too," you murmur, turning your head so I can kiss your neck. I scoff against your neck.

"Really?" I chuckle. "I couldn't tell." You roll your eyes, smiling.

"Shut up," you laugh before pulling me in for another kiss.

____

a/n: YOO I POSTED😍

So what do we think😍 is it good yes or no😋

sosososo sorry if i haven't done your request yet!! highschool is very heavy right now im and trying to figure things out BUT I do write every chance I get

IF YOU SEE AN ERROR, TELL ME PLEASE!

anyways matt😍

[pastafossa]

hiya! i’m asking both you and @bellaxgiornata this question (because you’re my favorite daredevil writers). as someone who was very sunburnt today, july 4th, do you think matt can feel himself get a sunburn? and would he wear sunscreen to counteract it? when we were young, my sister had bad sensory issues and wouldn’t wear sunscreen. so i’m just wondering what matt’s reaction to all that would be. hope you had a great 4th of july!!

I have no idea if @bellaxgiornata this but I'm not going to check because I want to see how our answers stack up if she does!

FIRST... ok wait, first, THANK YOU! 😭 But also I feel that as someone who basically bursts into flame in the sun like a vampire. And while I'd vaguely thought about Matt and his poor pale Irish skin, I hadn't considered it until now so this is a fun What If? Q: Do you think Matt can feel himself getting sunburned?

A: I say yes, based on what happens when you get sunburned. From what I understand, when you start getting burned and those little cells start dying, your body immediately begins damage control: blood vessels dilate to bring in blood and immune cells move in to clean up all the dead and mutated cells. This is why you heat up, the skin is red, you get a nasty case of swelling and inflammation. All of this, in theory, is something Matt can sense even in himself - he'd feel the initial shift in blood, that extra heat, likely before the inflammation and swelling really started. On top of that, burns sting, and with the way his sense of touch is heightened, I'm guessing he'd be able to really, really feel the beginnings of a burn before it got serious. Which would likely happen fairly quickly considering how pale our boy is. Upside is he'd turn out to be an excellent Burn Detector for anyone he's out with. No one's getting burned when he's on watch. But that leads to:

Q: Would he wear sunscreen?

A: This is an interesting one, because like you said, there's a sensory thing. Yeah, plenty of us have fond memories of the scent of sunscreen (cause hey, it means beaches, sunshine, pools, lots of fun things), but some very much do not like it whether it's due to texture or smell. With Matt's sense of smell, I'd go with the scent being less than pleasant, and he wouldn't be fond of that sorta sticky feeling you get from the heavier stuff. I can see him absolutely trying to avoid scenarios where he'd have to wear it, whether that means wearing certain clothes or just kinda dodging events and activities where he might have to deal with it (a public pool would likely be unpleasant in multiple ways anyway, not just in terms of sunscreen) and while he probably enjoys walking through the park or tree-lined streets in the Kitchen, enjoys those patches and moments in the sun, he's not looking to go out in summer and lay there in the grass under sunshine for an extended period of time. Fall's a bit easier (he can enjoy more sunshine without risk of burning since UV radiation is lower) at least, so that's a time he'd be more comfortable spending time out like that.

If a friend or partner really, really wanted him to do Something Summery And Sunny, though, he'd absolutely choose to prioritize their happiness over his comfort (we all know how he is). He'd grimace and stinky cat face and apply the sunscreen - the type for sensitive skin, helping at least a little - because the only thing he'd hate more than the scent/texture of sunscreen is the texture of burns being rubbed constantly for hours beneath the Daredevil suit, cause holy shit would that hurt. Healing meditation is great, but I have a feeling he burns hard and fast, so even his body would struggle to heal sunburn quickly. He learned that the hard way after his first annual Nelson Clan Summer Barbecue at a local park.

But if at all possible, he's going to avoid too much sun, skip the sunscreen, and head inside the second he feels those blood vessels dilate. He's more of a night guy, anyway.

[naturecalls111]

as someone who read tfc for the first time almost 10 years ago and is having a blast with tsc and the series revival i'm very curious to know if you have any thoughts/opinions on the books/the story on it. (btw, i love your work so much!!! came for one of your lovely sanjis and stayed for everything else you made)

Waaahh amazing question anon! Thank you! I’m gonna have a blast answering this :3c

(Also, thank you so much for the kind words TTT ❤️❤️)

I’ll TL;DR at the end because I have a lot of thoughts on AFTG and am taking this opportunity to yap lol

I’ll preface this with a few things just so my opinions exist within a specific context rather than like, a biasless void:

1. I read the series only to be in a similar fandom space with a friend of mine. She enjoys it a lot, and I enjoy her brain a lot, so even if I didn’t care for the series I would be at least One Foot in through the door of the AFTG world because I really love her characterization and takes and analysis etc etc you get the gist - I have an INCREDIBLY curated space to talk about it and the vast majority of my enjoyment for the series comes from that

2. I personally, have a few gripes here and there with Nora Sakavics writing. I think she’s a good writer pretty consistently and an Excellent one in certain scenes, so I don’t mean this as a slight to her skill, rather just establishing my bias of not really being the biggest fan of the way she deals with certain topics and the way she structures her story. This is totally a personal preference though, I can’t stress that enough

3. I haven’t read TSC yet, and either avoid or haven’t gotten around to reading Nora’s extra snippets and points of characterization outside of what exists in the books. Like I refuse to accept Andreil cat names sort of thing. Lol.

OK-

I’ll start with the stuff I like:

1. I looooveeeeeee… love these characters deeply. The Foxes are so cute and awesome and I like that their general vibe is “they hate each other but they hate everyone else more.” I know the principles of the Foxes is that they’re found family, and I get that, but I’m happy Nora wasn’t afraid of making them antagonistic or abrasive with each other, and that it doesn’t become a “and then, through Neil’s efforts, they all REALLY get along !!!” Like. Seth and Kevin actively hating each other, and Kevin not backpedaling on that when Seth dies, was both terrifying and engrossing, because it made me realize just how much smaller their already small circle becomes. Dan is so fun, Matt is so fun, Allison is SooooooOooOOOOOO Awesome. Jeremy was lovable from the get go. I like all the characters - I care for their… character sheet? More than I care about the story, if that makes sense?

2. To be honest I was less positive about it at first but I actually love this invention of a sport LOL the name is cool too… Exy…

3. I genuinely think Nora is Good at making scenes exciting and giving you that “jaw drop” moment with exactly the amount of fanfare the scene needs. It was intensely enjoyable to read AFTG because I was Constantly feeling something and wanting to see how something unravelled, and I didn’t know when she would Drop That Big Moment next. AFTG is a lot of great things, but if I had to choose one thing, it would be how great Nora was at making me antsy about what comes next.

4. It’s funny. OK! IT’S FUNNY! I laughed a bunch of times. It Has Funny Dialogue. Early Andrew made me crack up multiple times and the way his general actions were written were perfect LOL

5. Generally really happy that Nora wasn’t afraid of pulling any punches with the themes presented in the story. Very tragic and intense! I’m always eager to read content that is willing to explore that stuff so I’m happy the book Had That to the degree that it did

6. It has Nicky Hemmick and Kevin Day in it. I am obsessed with both of them.

And then there’s stuff I’m in the middle about, where I like it sometimes and I don’t at other times. It’s up in the air, I can make a case for not liking and make a case for loving it:

1. Neil not describing anyone’s physical appearance properly like. Ever. And I don’t know if this is a Nora thing or if this is a Neil thing, if that makes sense. Because on one hand, I’m like ok yeah it would make sense that Neil Josten does not care to comment about the way people look, but we get SO LITTLE outside of “dark hair. Light hair. tall.” I’m like equal parts endeared and grinding my teeth at it

2. Some dialogue is really corny. But that’s okay, because I think they deserve to be corny sometimes. Corny isn’t bad, you know? It still made me kick my feet at times

3. I cannot gauge how well I think the story dealt with rough topics. I think viewing the world through a Neil lens makes it a little easier to not completely consider everything at face value, and it’s really nice that despite everything Neil could have become, he’s still intensely likable and all around Good. That being said, it’s not so much Neil’s POV that I’m stressed about as it is how the story goes around issues of other characters? I won’t take out my list of eyebrow raises but I was like, immensely Not Happy about how Matt’s addiction was dealt with. I don’t even have a problem with what Andrew did (in terms of, I don’t have a problem with that being something written into the story) but Matt’s reaction to Neil’s (rightful) horror about how he could be okay with that, and Matt being like no yeah listen trust me, it’s fine, and also my mom approved of it…. Hhhh maybe it’s for personal reasons that I don’t like how that was dealt with, but I just didn’t. Meanwhile, I thought Andrew’s backstory was dealt with well. I thought the Drake scene was handled very well, in that it moved me to numbing shock and I got nauseous and I think the details it chose to omit and include were incredibly important (had the scene been More explicit, I think I would have been less visceral? Because so much of it would have been set out in front of me, but because the vast majority of that scene was Emotions And Implication, it REALLY fucked with me, I appreciate it)

4. Nora has used verbal expo dumps enough that I Noticed it but can’t decide where I stand on it because I’m also totally of the mind that people Talk. And that’s fine. Like people in Real Life also have expo dumps about others so I’ll cut it some slack actually

And the things I don’t like…:

1. Why is Exy capitalized that drives me nuts

2. I put off reading AFTG for a while because the entire premise admittedly seemed totally not my type of story and, expectedly, no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t get into the whole Mafia thing. I know it’s a large part of what drives the plot forward but I genuinely have to turn a blind eye to it when I talk about my love for AFTG LMFAO like I just can’t it’s too much. I know the story has a lot of moments where you have to suspend your disbelief and I’m happy to do that because that’s the point of fiction but the mafia stuff is just like. Background noise to me. I don’t think about it. I don’t think I registered a word of what Lola said. I get that we need some source of trauma for these kids but also. Also. LMSFKDJSKLDFJ like you could easily replace the mafia stuff with something else and get the same effect but. Whatever. This is clearly like a Me Not Liking Mafia Things thing

3. Sometimes it got too corny for my taste, and certain dialogue I thought would do better as more vague thoughts. In line with me loving Neil being such a shit stirrer and short tempered, I had a difficult time with his monologue/mouth off at Riko during the ball because it felt too dramatic and rehearsed I’m so sorry Neil baby I’m totally supportive of you telling Riko off (THE INTERVIEW SCENE IN BOOK ONE WAS SSAAAUURRRRR GOOD!!!!) But other times I was like. Hiding my face behind my hands and bashing my skull against my pillow. I think the only part of that initial ball scene that I liked was Jean’s general introduction and interactions. Also I know it’s Andrew’s whole Thing when he’s on meds but some of Andrew’s lines occasionally had me scratching my chin awkwardly. This complaint mostly sizzles out by book 3 though. I liked book 3

4. I mentally retcon Andrew and Aaron’s and Riko’s heights where I can. I’m sorry. It’s for my own sanity. I don’t want to be taller than any of them in any given moment. I can accept Neil’s because I like Haikyuu also

5. I’m not satisfied with the book 3 ending.

6. I say this as someone who speaks four languages, 2 of them fluently and the other two very close to fluent - the language shenanigans of the characters in AFTG is literally so extremely batshit LMFAO I will never forget Jane texting me if I know how to say dashboard lighter in my native tongue and me being like ‘I don’t even know what that the fuck that is in English’ HAHAH like . Just. It was silly. It got silly. I don’t know how many languages Nora speaks but with the given time frames of how long they would have had to learn the languages + the context in which they learned it . Just. You’re not convincing me I’m soooo sorry!!!!

ANYWAY that’s my general review on it. The TLDR is that mafia stuff isn’t my thing and at times I struggle to suspend my disbelief but I enjoy the characters a lot and the dynamics built between them, and the fact that Nora wasn’t afraid to make the story Hurt, the characters Hurt. You know?! I’m excited to read TSC and fawn over Jeremy and the fact that I can never have him!!!

[petrichoraline]

We Are Ep.2 thoughts in chronological order

what peem did in the car trying to convince phum to part their ways is what the youth calls ✨a yap sesh✨ (he tried ig) (this is what this post is as well)

we're probably never seeing phum use those things he bought ever, he'll just keep hanging around in his engineer shirt

peem has so many ppl ready to square up for him including his auntie and he is recognised by tan as someone who loves his friends very much (which makes the fact tan has sold him away for time with his crush TWICE even worse lmao)

i don't really get phum's insistence on not telling anyone about being phum's "slave", not even tan who got him into the mess or his best friend but it's just his ego ig (aside from plot reasons)

i find pun more relatable now - tags along for the funsies and gets happy around fire

not convinced the beans and pork scene wasn't an ad but im not sure how cause i didn't clock any labels

the scene where peem brings in food and laughs with q feels like improv or breaking left in lol

fai missing cause of upset stomach might be some sort of foreshadowing and i'm a bit worried bout her

the professor is handsome <3 and could pas off as chimon's sibling in a show

q absorbing those noodles was very satisfying idek why lol

peem and q's friendship is in the background but the show still constantly makes it a point that they are really good and loyal best friends

i thought "oh theyre gonna make the sharing food a thing in the future" so when boys showed up i was like "ah, we're doing it immediately? bit boring" but then he didn't share!! joey never shares food!! i think he will in the future though, him being a foodie is a constant thing so i'm guessing we're using it as a sign of compromise in the name of love or smth

satang playing this type of character felt a bit much in the first episode but i think he's getting more comfortable with the role as the show progresses and it look more natural; i'm glad his character isn't the googly eyed mentee and he actually teases a lot and snaps back but knows when to stop playing because q isn't the most patient person. (matt having to jump in like "bro he's serious" was so funny cause i hadn't clocked that either hahah)

the way we can see q flustered at certain points but seemingly unbothered at others is fun because his reactions aren't entirely predictable at this stage as we're still getting to know him. also it's mad cute when he clearly doesn't know what to do with himself

idk how he hasn't asked toey bout why he's in art yet, ig they're just now starting to properly get to know each other

toey took one look at q's back and decided "that's a cool ass aura to base my entire future around!" and tbh that's very young adult of him

q regularly asking about peem's work being submitted, he's honestyly worried <3

the way i cheered for peem burping in phum's face and then went "oh he came back :(" bahah

phum is definitely already planning his day and schedule around peem, i don't think he'd ever tell his friends because he wants to actually keep it going so one of the reasons is to not run into his faculty friends including tan and the second is to have lunch with his unconscious crush AND I AM VERY HAPPY WITH THIS STUPIDITY

thought peem could overhear the convo behind the car and realise what he was exchanged for but nope, he just dipped; i think that might be a plot point for later

phum not knowing tan has a crush on fang is so weird cause he genuinely acted like he knew while taunting tan, i don't have an explanation for that

fang is their p'!! i was so conviced he was the little brother, ig because of his big round eyes and the way phum acted all protective (that just makes phum cuter tbh)

what is the age difference between bar owner and prof cause i ship it

it took me a bit to realise the nongs were there instead of the full arts gang and i was glad to see toey and q together (also the green sweater is beautiful on toey, hope it makes a comeback)

i was ready to believe fang had some sort of falling out with tan with the way he treated him but tan beaming and enjoying a dreadful setting (no talking, awkward sitting around in a bar with mid music and alcohol) shows that man is glowing just from being in fang's presence (i hope he reaches ridiculous levels of lame for him)

i was screeching when i realised where things were going with wasted peem and seeing him n the bench outside had me exctaticcc (ofc he didnt book a taxi. and ofc they cant just order one for him noww could they)

phum cockblocks but he kinda has to cause there's no reason for fang to be there otherwise; once the ridiculous proposition of him taking peem home comes up he doesn't really fight it at all - he wants to be with peem, sure, but i think he's also pretty okay with tan and fang being a thing

the way i was screaming "just buy the flowers rich boy!!! he wants to go home" and then the kid went to get more lol

ofc he couldnt just leave the flowers in the backseat, peem just has to have them in his lap.. and the seatbelt scene was so predictable but it's too much of a classic with all "figuring things out" parts of a romance that i can't complain

it makes absolutely zero sense aside from people liking people (cause fang knows what he's doing too) that phum would drive peem to his house - a place where tan has sleepovers at all the time and phum hasn't been to before. fang is his brother and they can sleep at the same place as well even if they don't live together but nope. also THAT CAR HAS EMPTY BACKSEATS, if phum wanted to he would've forced them to ride with him to keep an eye on tan

fang is probably planning to launch a big revenge attack on peem and that'd be so funny, those four can get way too entangled, i could get DRAMA out of their plans and schemes (this show is more hidden agenda than hidden agenda was)

tan's energy with fang reminds me of the duracell bunny lmao it's late at night and they've had a few drinks but his mind and body are all focusedon wooing fang (who is playing nonchalant but has probably had a crush on tan as well)

also no way he was just gonna leave tan on the street lol

toey and q aleady work so well together, toey knows his effect on q more or less and q doesn't shy away from being at least a bit vulnerable as of rn; i think they can be one of the best if not the best couple if they have a proper storyline; im certainly enjoying it the more than i thought i would

the fake blush on both toey and peem is ridiculous esp up close but ig they're cartoonishly drnk anyways

auntie took note and now doesn't do facemasks at night, otherwise it would've been an amazing first meeting

"he likes to whine" and she's the one who can't leave the room from complaining sm lol auntie is so cute

ahh, the mandatory "a look around the room shows me you're truly passionate about what you do and you're deeper than i thought" scene..thankfully he didn't mutter "you like painting this much, huh" to nobody cause i was ready to yell HES AN ARTS MAJOR like he kicked you in the balls for a reason doofus

theyre giving us so many closeups of these two and i keep thinking "this is so drama/y im embarrassed" but i have no shame, if it's fun it's fun (and it's pondphuwin, youre not gonna hear me complain about looking at pond's face for too long or from too close)

reaching out to touch his face was a bold choice thoughh i lost it

man down badd man down baddd he was called an asshole and started gleaming like a light bulb

[augustheart]

I don't have an actual question but pls post more about the Shade's gayest moments

oh happily. this list is long

the first bullet point here is just going to be about jay. just. everything.

okay that's not fair. what i mean to say is: that time he said "jay had wit and guile and wisdom. and that along with his speed made him a god." that time he looked at jay and joan laying together in an orchard and said "and then i saw him. and her. and the life i could never have." when he said "i enjoy you, flash." when he said that nowadays he only truly lives when he fights jay. when he said "but there was one moment... a lull in the fight, when our eyes met and we both smiled. and then jay punched me hard in the jaw. he was good at that." when he said "i enjoyed that recollection. i always enjoy recalling jay." do you see why i had to say "everything with jay"

oh and also when he said that he and jay had "crossed lances five times by now. and each a glorious joust." which is. definitely a way he chose to phrase fighting, for some fucking reason

when he reminisces about his friendship with sanderson in his journal and says that he'd been sad when sanderson killed himself--as a reminder, just because he couldn't bear to choose between the shade and his family, even though the ludlow canonically in love with the shade did still try to kill him--because after brian died, he'd "dared to like so few"

another jay one. that time ted mentioned asking jay about something and he went "jay garrick's coming to help? 👀"

brian saying that he thought he was "a mite swishy"

him saying he liked oscar wilde after he found out how alike they were

that time he said "[jack] was magnificent. he was fearless. he was perfection." i should mention that this is after he said that jack was his "understudy" in the "ballet" that was the fight against culp, and also that jack's internal monologue of the moment is him going "i am such a loser. i think i just peed myself."

when he lit a cigarette in his mouth and then put it in matt's mouth while saying goodbye to him. "i'll await your return my dear friend" okay dude

him covering his eyes when he sees jack naked in bed with sadie because the sight of all his tattoos might "inspire [me] to get some"

because i'm me, i can't not mention that he's constantly associated with black swans, a species well-known for homosexual pair bonds

and. as always

i could probably go on but we'll cut it here. "ambiguous sexuality" my ass, james

[masschase]

Here's my OTP playlist again with full explanations of each song.

Bitch with a Keyboard, Asshole With a Gun: Matt and Casey's Journey

There is mention of nsfw stuff but I've kept it pretty vague tbh.

Wicked Game (Chris Isaak): I used the original of this because I already have a HIM song on this playlist. Still considering switching to the Stone Sour version. I know it's probably a cliché choice. But I felt like I needed a starter if this was going to be a cohesive journey. From Matt's side this reflects the fact Casey both spared his life and saved him from the simulation first. For Casey it represents that moment a couple of weeks into being on the ship when they've just had sex and they're just joking around together. She looks into his eyes and as I've said before, she sees a dangerous potential there and realises they just can't do this again. She has important world-saving shit to do and she can't just go falling in love with anyone. So she rambles out the rule about not sleeping with anyone on the ship more than once, and she sticks to it when more of her friends come aboard. Thing is, once those months have passed, everyone's like oh yeah, we all had that one time with the Boss, and doesn't think much of it. Matt is probably the only one who still thinks about that rule a lot, for obvious reasons. He has no idea he's the reason it exists.

Secretly (Skunk Anansie): This is really representative of the kind of mid-portion of their friendship before romantic feelings develop. When Matt in particular is trying his best *not* to be attracted to her (by the way the scene with him and Johnny regarding this is one of my favourite things ever ever ever I love their bond) but Casey keeps absent-mindedly telling him shit about how much she'd like to be pinned to the bed by a dirty talking Austen hero type and that sort of thing. 😅 Also kind of works from the opposite perspective. Matt wants to be with Asha so really he should be steering clear of Casey but he just... doesn't manage to. Honestly when I said a while ago I worry I portray Matt as a bit of a dick, it's this sort of thing I mean 😅

Dreaming Of You (The Coral): This could be an innocent enough song but thanks to Scrubs I associate it heavily with sex, plus with the kind of tempo it has... I tie it together with the feverish results of the interactions I mentioned in connection with the previous song. I don't know what the correct term is for "a captain and lieutenant listening to each other erm.... enjoying themselves through a wall and getting encouraged by each others noises" other than "inappropriate".

Right Here In My Arms (HIM): I really associate HIM with Matt; I feel like he has a bigass heartagram belt buckle hidden somewhere in his old flat, haha. Anyway, this is their friendship a little later on. "So hard she's trying, But her heart won't turn to stone" is very very Casey and this whole song is representative of the way she keeps returning to him despite the fact it's inadvertently leading to her falling for him.

Surrender (Billy Talent): I've said before how much the second verse reminds me of them "Even though I know what I'm looking for, She's got a brick wall behind her door, I'd travel time and confess to her, But I'm afraid she'd shoot the messenger.". It's very representative of both when Matt gets to the pining, unrequited (ok not really) love stage with Casey as well as the whole time travel plot and how that plays out. Also I just want to talk about the line "She wonders why I'm always in a good mood" because like... I constantly think about Casey thinking "Matt's secretly such a sweet funny guy, I wonder why not everyone sees it?" and it's like... he's comfortable around you my dude. He's happy and can be himself. His socially awkward has stopped socially awkwarding and that's why he doesn't need that egotistical facade.

Gunslinger (Avenged Sevenfold): for that period of time they are really missing each other during my fic. It was playing when they were bonding in Camden a year previously and Pierce complains that Casey starts listening to it over and over when Matt is gone. The bit that captures her is "I won't question why so many have died, My prayers have made it through yeah, 'Cause with all these things we do, It don't matter when I'm coming home to you."

Demolition Lovers (My Chemical Romance): This could really be placed higher or lower but it mostly makes me think of if Matt and the younger Casey really did go and do some "Bonnie and Clyde sorta shit" or really did run away together after the party. But it also makes me think of any situation of them running off and dying together. Which happens more often than you'd think.

Gone Too Soon (Simple Plan): Pretty much this whole album (Get Your Heart On) reminds me of the thing between 2022 Matt and 2016 Casey, and the band has links to both of their teen years in my hc. But this is the song they dance to and it has heavy foreshadowing for the next couple of chapters.

Last Dance (The Cure): It plays right after the previous song but they don't get to dance to it in 2016. That's really supposed to symbolise that this is not the end for them. But it sums up so much of the way I see Casey waiting nervously the night they finally get together, and they dance to it that night too. I've said this before but a lot of The Cure songs remind me of them.

Undisclosed Desires (Muse): This to me is very representative of their sexual relationship but also of the fact that even before they are together Matt begins to see more to Casey than the typical perception of her.

Running (No Doubt): This song is so them to me. The fact it's No Doubt makes me think of Casey, the fact it sounds like chiptune makes me think of Matt. The fact they do make this agreement that for the sake of their survival they will run instead of fighting when needed. Matt's surprise that she chose him of all people. Casey's fear that she'll fuck this up somehow. But the fact that they have each other through it all. I'd say it's between this and Last Dance for 'their' song, but I feel like this is the one that they'd think of as their song.

Deathbeds (Bring Me The Horizon): OK, admittedly, I have a load of songs on the longer playlist that could go here (I Will Follow You Into The Dark, There Is A Light That Never Goes Out etc.). But I feel like this one is a really good representative of that feeling of "I strongly believe we might end up dying together but I'm still never going to leave you.".

House on the Hill (The Pretty Reckless): It's a little more sombre than it should be for how I picture their future/endgame but nonetheless a lot of it relates. The way it starts with "Somewhere in the end of all this hate" relating to how they first crossed paths. The fact that what Matt manages to pull off more or less allows them to settle down by hiding/fading away, at least for a while. I'll eventually do a long post on what that entails for those who haven't read my fic but suffice to say it links back to themes from the first game of Aisha's name persisting through her music but her fake death protecting her. Nonetheless, the Saints are going to be forever and the next generation will inevitably get dragged in which is where "Until they drink the wine and they will, they will" comes into it.

Always (Killswitch Engage): I just wanted to end on a more optimistic note and sum up that although they are never going to *quite* have a traditional happily ever after, they will always have each other. Their love is eternal.

❤💜💙

[koolkat9]

about the song and ship thing: i always thought that the great war by taylor swift would suit fruk. or maybe cardigan? actually now that i’m thinking a lot of ts songs fit fruk

I'm going to go with only one song because I got very backed up on these and fruk ideas have not been coming to me for awhile unfortunately 😅

Okay I am going to choose 'Cardigan' because 'Great War' is literally just canon/nationverse fruk and this is an au ask game/lh

Sorry this is going to be very angsty Fruk that probably won't be end game, warning everyone now.

This actually gives me more ideas for a vague idea of an au I've had for the past few months.

Francis and Arthur were childhood rivals, always at each others throats. Then something changes in high school, they realize how nice it is to have the other around as a constant in their lives and they eventually acknowledge growing fondness. That fondness turns into a passionate romance.

Until passion isn't enough anymore. This isn't the kind of romance Francis imagined for himself. They still fight, can't agree on things, constantly trying to one up one another. And Francis starts not liking that romantic dynamic. Sure the sex is great, but he wants something a little softer in other aspects. Not to mention Arthur himself seems to be going on a downward spiral despite everything Francis tries to do to help him. Eventually it gets to a point where Arthur can't offer him what he needs but someone else seems to be willing to. The two break up in their last year of uni.

Arthur is really crushed, and the break up only sends him spiraling more. In his era of stupid decisions, he accidentally gets a girl pregnant and ends up with a son. Which turns out to be just what he needs to turn his life around. He gets a steady job, leaves the alcohol and drugs behind. Though not the perfect father, he tries to give his son Alfred everything.

Around when Al is five, Francis reaches out to Arthur. They've also had a kid in the process who's about a year or so younger than Al. Francis begs Arthur to watch their son Matthew. Something seems wrong given the way Francis is speaking, but Arthur eventually agrees. It would be good for Alfred.

But something really wrong becomes apparent when Francis doesn't return that evening and refuses to pick up his phone.

Days later he finally gets a hold of Francis after threatening to call the police. Francis begs Arthur to take in Matthew. They explain that Matthew's mother abandoned them, and that they're not a fit parent. Arthur can tell Francis is drunk which gives him an inkling as to what is going on. He's pissed what this will mean for Matthew and Francis just dumped the kid on him. But when Francis brings up that they don't want to put Matt into foster care, Arthur softens having been a kid of foster care too and knowing how it can be. So he agrees.

So two possible endings.

Fruk gets back together, Arthur helps Francis get sober like he had to after Al was born.

Fruk remain only as friends but Francis eventually does start visiting despite Arthur and Matthew still being a bit mad. But they do eventually get to a better place.

[murdockmeta]

Two Mike Murdock lines I've been rotating in my head

The "I'm not the best at being genuine" line (that might not be the exact wording but I don't wanna look it up) he says to Kirsten when she gets angry at him (while he's pretending to be Matt) for brushing her off and acting weird.

That line, when I first read that scene, came outta nowhere to me and when he said it it almost felt like he broke "character" for a second. Not just in this facade he was throwing up while pretending to be Matt but also the general facade he's throws up while... well, while he's being him.

Like you can tell having to be around Kirsten as Matt after her and Matt broke up so recently really bothers him. Makes him uncomfortable. He's constantly trying to play it cool and more or less avoid her because he doesn't wanna fuck things up. And he makes that so apparent with the "being genuine" line because he's trying to communicate in his own way that he's trying. The major roadblock is that Kirsten has no idea how hard Mike's trying because she doesn't know it's Mike.

She just sees Matt being an asshole and being cold to her after a breakup. She sees him being bad at his job seemingly on purpose. It's not fair to Mike because he knows nothing about being a lawyer and he's doesn't wanna make things worse but he also has no idea how to make things better. It's not fair to Kirsten either but that's getting off topic.

I'm still angry Matt didn't tell Mike everything while Mike was pretending to be him and honestly if Mike does come back to life, I hope he finds out and he's gets really pissed off anyway

That line just hurts because you can see how much Mike's struggling. And after Kirsten reacts positively he just throws up another smoke screen by asking to take her for a drink which of course pisses her off. Mike's just trying to throw back on his mask as quickly as possible so he probably doesn't even think about what he's saying. He just has no idea how to deal with all those complex emotions and honestly he shouldn't have to and I don't blame him for acting the way he does.

Now, the other line. The "I'm not real" line he says to Butch. This one hurts me because again, its this glimpse we get of Mike. Like, his-walls-are-down and he's-trying-to-open-up Mike. This line hurts more, though, because Butch is his friend. His best friend.

Mike's finally coming clean about everything that happened, Butch is the first person he's told. And then, Butch just gets angry. Mike's not only telling him really personal information but he's also trying to help Butch by giving him a solution to his problem and Butch just tells Mike to leave. He acts like Mike's betrayed him or something because he's oh-so-tired of magic rocks and superheroes.

Buddy, you're tired of magic rocks and superheroes?? You live in the magic rocks and superheroes universe.

But it just makes me wanna bite down on something and whip it back and forth like a feral dog. Mike's trying to help, not just help, he's legitimately offering a fix-all magic solution that he could've used for anything else, and Butch just tells him to fuck off.

All this to say, the "I'm not real" line sticks out the most because it's what Mike starts with. He starts with that even though it really has nothing to do with any of the other stuff he's talking about. He could've just skipped that and said he stole the stone but he wants to be completely honest, he wants someone to know the truth, he wants someone to understand everything he's been going through.

[waywardxrhea]

Chapter 10 - Paranoid

What happens when you lie to the Devil? How long can one woman keep a lifetime of secrets from the Devil of Hell's Kitchen? The answer may surprise you...

installment list

pairing: Matt Murdock x enhanced!fem!OC

series content: coffee shop AU, fluff, humor, friends to lovers, pining, language, canon typical violence, angst, drinking, implied smut, medical emergencies, mental health disorders (PTSD, panic disorder).

"something isn't right, i feel it in my bones, every time i look around it follows me home. i think i'm paranoid..." - paranoid, i prevail

word count: 4k

Paranoia surrounds Crystal like a dark cloud after coming out publicly with her powers...

After a couple months of concentrating on petty crime and using her powers more publicly to save people, Crystal felt that she was in a safe enough spot that she had finally stopped constantly worrying about her father coming after her. 

“Hey can I bounce some ideas off of you?” Matt had greeted her with one evening when she swung by after getting off of a double at Stardust. 

“Of course,” she replied as she began pulling a few leftover pastries out of the paper sack she had in her hands.

“So when I’ve been out the last few nights I’ve started to hear whispers…” Matt started with, his hand hovering over the assortment of pastries, seemingly in thought about which one to choose. When Matt inevitably picked one of the freshest ones, Crystal smiled to herself, always impressed with how Matt’s senses helped him pick up on even the smallest things like pastry freshness. 

“Whispers? About?” Crystal asked as she took a seat on the leather couch in his sitting area. 

“All I know for sure is that I heard a few people from small-time drug gangs complaining that their customers backed out of their deals a few nights in a row,” he told her as he sat down beside her, his free hand almost instinctively making its way onto her thigh.

“So there may be a new drug lord running around?”

“Possibly… What I do know is that users don’t just up and quit out of the blue.” Matt sighed before adding, “It could end up being something big and I’d rather get ahead of it before my city’s completely under again…”

“I get that for sure,” Crystal said, contemplating ideas in her mind. “Do you need help with taking them down? Any way I could be of use?”

“Not until I know more,” Matt told her with a quick shake of his head. “You know what you could do though?”

“Hm?”

“If you’d be okay with it of course, it would take a lot off of my plate if you could help with the patrol routes I usually take? So they still get covered while I try to get ahead of this?” He took her hand in his and kissed her knuckles before telling her, “I know the city’ll be in good hands with you.”

Crystal smiled at the words and the sweet gesture before telling him, “Of course I can do that. Whatever I need to do to help you out with this. If I hear something while I’m out, you’ll be the first one to know.”

“Great, thank you, Crys,” Matt said, some of the tension that was previously in his shoulders easing away. 

The tension was right back in his shoulders though when a few nights later Matt found himself perched atop a building a few buildings down from Stardust listening in on the conversation happening between the pair of men down below. Their English accents were somewhat muffled through the many racks of clothes, shoes, and accessories in the shop they were standing in, but with his senses Matt didn’t have trouble understanding the conversation. 

He heard one of the men leafing through something, presumably money and counting it as he asked the man across from him, “Think this is enough for the night?”

The other man scoffed as he said, “When is it ever since that little bitch mucked everything up?”

“I still can’t believe we’re here on a wild goose chase just so he can get his hands on her…” the first man grumbled.  “I still don’t believe Julie’s actually here, you saw those pictures of what the O’Hares did to her!”

Matt’s eyebrows furrowed together under his mask at the words, what sort of pictures was the man referring to? He didn’t have to wait too long for answers though because the next voice he heard spoke with an air of confidence as he said, “Now isn’t the time for bickering gentlemen. We have confirmation that my freak of a sister is alive and well right here in Hell’s Kitchen.” 

“She’s alive?” the first voice asked, something like hope evidenced in the way his heart rate spiked the slightest bit at the news. 

“So then why don’t we nab her and get this over with? This city’s filthy…” the second voice muttered, his hand grazing across what sounded like the blade of a knife. 

“Leverage that’s why,” the third man said, his lips sounding like they were curled into a smirk. “I have Ridge and Oliver assigned to track her every move. We need to know everything about her daily routines, her living situation, her closest friends and rivals before we make a move. My father gave me this job to prove that I can handle the business when he’s gone and I intend on surpassing his expectations.”

“So where is big man? I didn’t think he’d want you taking care of the brat on your own.”

“My father will show his face when the time is right,” the third man said, turning to leave the room. Before he exited though, he said, “He won’t be happy to find subpar profits. I expect the two of you out all day and all night tomorrow getting the product to the proper customers.”

“Yes sir,” the two men mumbled before grabbing their coats and heading out for the evening, chatting together about nonsense that Matt tuned out as he pressed himself against the building so he wouldn’t be seen. 

As he headed back to his apartment for the night to try to make sense of everything he just heard, Matt couldn’t help his mind from going back to this mysterious Julie person this whole scheme seemed to be revolving around. It sounded like whoever she was might have faked her death before fleeing this drug running group, but why? Why were they staking her out? Was she dangerous? She was certainly a flight risk… By “take care of” her did they mean to kill her? If this group was steadily taking away huge buyers from other groups, they clearly had a solid operation, but were they here for selling drugs or getting their hands on this poor woman?

These questions plagued Matt’s mind well into the next morning as he sat in the office chair at his desk, not paying particular attention to the conversation at hand happening between Foggy and Karen about their next case. His attention was recaptured by a snap cracking off near his ear, his body tensing for a moment at the sound before he relaxed as Foggy asked, “Hey man are you okay? You were super into this case when you accepted it yesterday, what’s with the zoning out?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Matt said, sitting up straighter in his chair as he began running his fingers over the braille case file in front of him. 

“I may not be Mr. Super Senses, but even I can tell that was bullshit,” Foggy said flatly. 

“And that isn’t your normal spacing out thinking about your girlfriend face,” Karen said with a laugh as she stood up and headed to their small break area. She poured him a cup of subpar coffee before heading back and placing it in front of him as she asked, “You know you can talk to us right?”

Matt sighed heavily before taking a sip of the coffee. He sat down the mug and told them, “It’s just about something that I overheard last night while I was out.”

“About that new drug gang you were telling me about? Did you find anything else on them?” Foggy asked. 

“Yeah, I don’t think they’re here just selling drugs anymore. From what I overheard they’re also after someone. I…I think they’re planning on killing her…” Matt detailed, running a hand over the stubble on his chin. “The one in charge said he’s got men staking out her every move. Her routines, her friends, living situation, everything.”

“Holy shit…” Karen breathed, a hand going to cover her slightly opened mouth in shock. “Have you told Crystal?”

“No, and I don’t plan on it. I’ve already got her covering what sections of the city she does plus my own so I can get ahead of this. There’s no point in putting more on her plate and causing more stress and more heart problems,” Matt replied, his worry about the weight of everything lately taking a toll on her body evident in his voice. 

The case file physically dropped to the floor from Foggy’s lap as suddenly he seemed to become more interested in this than the case they accepted on behalf of a poor woman caught in the middle of a money laundering scheme. “Well what do we know about this woman? Can we find her before they do?” Foggy asked. 

Matt scoffed. “Yeah sure, if we just keep tabs on every woman in Hell’s Kitchen named Julie.” 

“Or any derivative of the name…” Karen added quietly. 

Matt could tell the situation was already weighing on her, causing guilt to creep into his mind at even telling them, so he quickly shook his head and said, “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said anything, I-”

“Matt, we’ve been over this. Stop with the self-righteous bullshit and let us help,” Foggy said, a laugh teasing the tone of his voice. 

“I just-” Matt tried. 

“Don’t want us caught up in the crossfire?” Karen supplied, a slight smirk on her lips. 

“By your tones of voice, I can tell you two aren’t going to drop this huh?” Matt asked, a sigh escaping his lips afterward. 

“Nope,” they both said at the same time. 

“Okay, so then let’s get to work on his money laundering case and get it over with so we can figure out how to save the life of a woman we have no idea how to find…” Matt said, giving into his friends’ silent pleas to help. This wasn’t the first time they would be helping Daredevil out and it certainly wouldn’t be the last…

The next morning Crystal was strolling to Stardust with Raeyes, the sun still not quite illuminating the city streets due to the early hours. As they walked, Crystal was looking into the windows of the little shops lining the street. She always seemed to be finding new ones that she hadn’t noticed before, but that just seemed to be the magic of this city - people from all over coming here to make a new life for themselves, just as she had. As she looked into the window of one of those never before seen shops, Crystal froze in place and her hand ghosted over the tattoo on her forearm. The tattoo in question was a bunch of gems that her mother loved that covered up the mark that branded her as a Porter - a paperboy hat. A paperboy hat that matched the one on the advert perfectly. 

Raeyes’s voice snapped her out of the panic she was beginning to spiral into as she asked, “Hello? Earth to Crys? You look like you’ve seen a ghost, are you okay?”

“What? Oh, yeah, peachy,” she replied, forcing a smile onto her lips as they continued the short walk to the coffee shop. 

“Long night?” Raeyes asked finally as she unlocked the shop and let the two of them in. 

“You could say that again…” Crystal replied, turning to lock the door once more until it was time to open. As she looked out the window, out of the corner of her eye she swore she saw someone on the street corner looking toward the shop, but when she looked back they were gone and what was left was the crossing signal with the bright red hand telling pedestrians to stop. 

Crystal tried to push the continuing feeling of paranoia into the back of her mind as she embarked on a date with Matt a few evenings later. As the pair walked into their usual Thai restaurant and waited on a table, Crystal asked, “So how is that new case of yours going?”

“Good, we’ve got a solid game plan going in tomorrow. Foggy’s been taking the lead on this one really,” Matt replied. 

Crystal nodded, lacing her fingers in Matt’s and leaning against his shoulder as she said, “That’s good he’s taking the lead. I know you’ve been working long hours these last couple weeks.”

“Thank you for allowing me to,” he told her, bringing her hand up to his lips to kiss it. “I wouldn’t be able to pull these hours if it wasn’t for you.”

“Any time, love,” she replied. She wouldn’t admit it out loud because she didn’t want to worry Matt, but the long hours at Stardust combined with working all of Hell’s Kitchen’s streets at night was taking a toll on her. She was sure that Matt was able to pick up on it with his senses, but if he did, he didn’t say anything to her. 

Her thoughts of exhaustion were interrupted though as the hostess called out, “Table for Matt?”

“That’s us,” Matt told her, raising his hand in greeting before he and Crystal stood, Crystal offering her arm to guide Matt so he didn’t have to unfold his cane for the short walk to the table. 

As they approached the table though, Crystal felt her heart stutter in her chest when she saw what was left behind from the guest before: a paperboy hat. Before she could outwardly react, a man came rushing back into the restaurant and to the table, telling the hostess in a thick Russian accent, “My apologies, I left my hat!”

“No problem, we’ve all done it!” the hostess said airly before bidding him a good night as he departed once more. 

Crystal and Matt sat down at the table and ordered their drinks as she watched the man exit. When Crystal finally tore her eyes away from the door, she saw Matt’s eyebrows scrunched together slightly as he asked, “Are you okay? Your heart…”

Crystal sighed and opted for a version of the truth, telling Matt where only he could hear, “I’ve just been paranoid lately. After seeing what people out there are capable of I guess I’ve been on high alert. I don’t know how you do it…”

“It’s hard, but I do what I have to in order to make it safe around here,” he told her, reaching out for her hand which she gladly gave. 

As they ate dinner, Crystal once more tried to push the paranoia to the back of her mind. Surely it was all just a huge coincidence, right? Lots of people wore that style of hat! She also didn’t recognize him as one of her father’s men, and besides he wasn’t English. It was just paranoia stemming from opening up publicly and seeing more parts of the New York crime scene… Just paranoia…

It started to feel less like paranoia though when the next Friday while working a shift at Stardust Crystal found a napkin with a drawing of a paperboy hat left on a table she was to clean. Her eyes went wide and the air left her lungs as she began frantically looking around the shop and out on the sidewalk for the man that had been sitting at the table. She was so preoccupied with searching for the man on the crowded sidewalk that she didn’t even hear the bell above the door ring, let alone feel Matt’s presence as he approached her from behind. 

When he said her name to get her attention, Crystal jumped, her hand clutching her chest as she said, “Bloody hell, Matt, you scared me!” 

Matt had his hands up in an apologetic way before offering them for a hug, which Crystal gladly accepted, taking the moment to try and calm her racing heart. The tenor of Matt’s voice rumbled in her ear as he said quietly, “You’ve seemed really preoccupied this last week, is everything okay?” In response, she simply shrugged, not trusting herself to say anything in case of a total breakdown in front of Matt and all the other customers, something she did not need right now. 

Seeming to get the drift of her silence, Matt continued, telling her, “I know it’s been hard on you since I’ve been looking into the drug gang, but there’s something really important I need to get to the bottom of before I can take some off of your plate. Can you manage a little while longer?”

“Yeah,” she finally whispered, her voice quiet and cracking with emotion, which she cursed herself for. 

“Are you sure?” Matt asked, his worry now evident in his own voice. 

Of course he could tell she was about to cry and her heart was racing still and Crystal wanted nothing more than to not worry him and to not be treated like she was made of glass, so she cleared her throat and told him, “I can handle it. It’s just something that takes getting used to is all…”

“I know, and I promise you that as soon as I can things will go back to normal,” he told her, placing a chaste kiss on her temple. A quiet chuckle left his lips as he added, “As normal as our lives can be.” Crystal nodded, a small smile making its way onto her lips at the joke. 

“Well I should get back to work, Foggy over there looks like he doesn’t want to wait too much longer for his cuppa,” Crystal said as she led Matt back to where Karen and Foggy were standing at the counter placing their order with Raeyes. 

While she worked on their order she knew by heart at this point, Crystal felt her heart kick into that all too familiar abnormal rhythm. As she took a deep breath and let it out, it went back to normal, so when she looked up and saw Matt’s head turned in her direction, she whispered, “I’m okay Matty, just a little flare up.”

Was that the truth though? Crystal wasn’t even sure anymore… Was it just a flare up or was her body trying to warn her to slow down? Telling her to stop while she’s ahead? To stop doing her and Matt’s job and start looking into the sudden abundance of paperboy hats crossing her path? 

She didn’t get to make that choice though because the next night everything fell into place in the worst way possible. Crystal had been out for a girls’ night with Karen, Marci, Raeyes, and another girl from Stardust. Of the five of them, Crystal had been the most sober, mostly due to the fact that she never knew when she would have to step aside and help someone out in the streets. 

As she and Raeyes turned the corner to get to their flat, Crystal saw something that made her blood run cold and she felt like she sobered up instantly. It was a paperboy hat sitting right outside of their door. Before Raeyes could take another step forward, Crystal reached out and roughly grabbed her roommate by the arm, telling her, “Stop. Rae, I need you to call you mum right now. Get her to come pick you up and stay at her place for the night.” She grabbed the strap of her purse from her shoulder and handed it to her friend, adding, “And please take this with you.”

“What? Why?” Raeyes asked. She whined a little bit as she leaned against Crystal and slurred, “The night’s still young and I have a bottle of champagne in the fridge just calling our name!”

“Just do it and don’t ask questions. Please,” Crystal pleaded as she began turning her around and leading her back toward the lift. “If there’s ever been a time to trust me it would be now.”

“Fine, but you don’t get any of that champagne when I finally get my hands on it!” Raeyes grumbled as they settled into the lift, Crystal having to find her phone to make the call to Rae’s mother.

When she arrived after twenty or so minutes of waiting, Crystal smiled apologetically at her before saying, “I’m really sorry to do this Mrs. Braxton, I just-”

“I’m sure she’s just invited sexy-lawyer Matt Murdock over to bone again!” Raeyes said with a loud laugh as she attempted to buckle herself into the front seat of the vehicle. “Don’t think I don’t know how loud you two get in the bedroom!”

Crystal faked a laugh the best she could before buckling the safety belt for Raeyes, telling her, “I’d like to keep some of my relationship confidential, thank you madame.”

“You can count on me!” Raeyes said with an overly exaggerated wink at which her mother laughed at before pulling away from the curb and driving off with Raeyes chatting her ear off. 

As Crystal turned to the building and headed back toward the lift, her hands began to shake. The nerves were so bad that she had a hard time pulling her phone out of her skirt pocket, but when she finally managed to get it out, she dialed Foggy. When he picked up on the third ring, he greeted her with an enthusiastic, “Hey Crys!” There sounded to be a bit of a scuffle on the other side before he laughed and asked, “How much did Marc have to drink tonight? She is- Marc, give me a minute, I’m on the phone with Crystal!”

“Oh, uh, if now isn’t a good time…” Crystal said quietly, trailing off toward the end. 

“No, no, it’s fine, Marci just gets handsy when she drinks so I just don’t have much time,” he said with a chuckle. Seeming to have noticed her tone of voice, his own softened as he asked, “Is everything okay? Did something happen on your way home? Should I call Matt?”

“Fog, Matt’s out right now. I didn’t want to call and freak him out, but…” she responded, her voice beginning to tremble with emotion as she stepped off the lift and looked at the hat once more. She took a shaky breath before finishing, “I’m afraid someone is after me. I-I’m not entirely sure, ever since I came out publicly with my powers I guess I’ve been paranoid… If… If I don’t call back within half an hour, send Matt - no, send Daredevil to my flat. Please.”

“Crystal, what’s-?” Foggy tried, but was cut off.

“There’s a hidden flash drive in the purse I sent off with Raeyes. I need you to promise me that you’ll only open it if things take a turn for the worse.”

“Flash drive, Crystal, what?” Foggy asked. 

“I have to go, Fog,” she replied quickly before hanging up and shoving the device back into the pocket of her skirt. 

She ignored the light radiating from her screen indicating an incoming call, presumably from him, as she advanced toward the door, kicking the hat out of her way in disgust when she reached it. Crystal tried to calm the shaking in her hands as she fished her key out from her pocket and turned the lock to get in. What was she doing? Surely going into the flat meant certain peril if she was correct about her father being there, right? So then why didn’t she turn around and wait for Matt? Because then he’ll find out you’ve been lying this whole time… the little voice in the back of her head reminded her. 

So that was how Crystal found herself turning the doorknob to her flat and stepping in with her shoulders squared, calling out into the darkness, “Don’t pretend you’re not here! I’m not an idiot, come on out Dad!” 

“No, not dear old Dad,” came the voice of her twin brother, making her freeze in place.

“James…” she whispered, her eyes widening as she saw him emerge from her bedroom with a smirk on his lips. 

“Surprise,” he said in a sickly sweet voice as he made a gesture to someone out of Crystal’s line of vision. Before she could react and use her powers in self-defense, the butt of a pistol was being smashed into the side of her head and all Crystal heard before losing consciousness was her brother saying, “Night night, princess. Dad can’t wait to see you.”

next chapter

[adampage]

Do you think it's possible that the BBC took out anyone they thought would potentially come to Hangman's aid??? To like. Make it SEEM like no one cares about or loves him anymore??? I just cannot see Dark Order NOT coming out to help him 😭😭

Or maybe I'm just being delusional and Hangy really did fuck up one of the only good friendships he had 😔😔

no, i definitely think it was intentional that they did it. mox was NOT happy about the loss to hangman, which he proved in the promo after revolution. further proof is the promo he cut before one of the first 3 matches on a Road To, where he said part of the reason he always wins is because he doesn’t like to lose. i think that quote is important too in the context of the elite as a whole. you can’t forget that mox has lost to very few men in AEW, and four of them are Hangman, Kenny, Nick, and Matt.

then there’s also the fact that bryan communicated his love for his friends out loud, something the elite never does on television. sure, on BTE. but even on BTE you have them miscommunicating all to hell. it’s definitely a jab at how the elite can’t ever get on the same page, emotionally.

they hurt Stu, Mox killed Uno at one point, they hurt Alex and John, they (likely) injured the Bucks, and then they took out Hangman to get to Kenny.

Now, Hangman walks out here on his own when he says something akin to “there’s no professional wrestler left in that locker room—,” just like how mox at the end of november said “there’s nobody back there, nobody within 100 miles that has the balls to take me on.” naturally, hangman answered both these calls. because he’s a fucking idiot and i think they’ve figured him out completely. just like he told punk that he would protect the aew locker room from him, he’s constantly coming out when there are wild insults made at the expense of his locker room. he is constantly putting himself in danger without back up.

do y’all remember when brodie cut that promo on hangman? how he is constantly without back up? how he doesn’t ever realise that the odds are against him? you remember when brodie said the dark order would protect him? at a bar or in the ring? that they would never leave him alone?

the dark order has always done that. if they weren’t taken out beforehand. i wonder if they’ll ever call back to those words one day, because it was such a powerful promo at the time. and i haven’t forgotten about the bucks/dark order segment on BTE around All Out last year, where they all spoke and buried the hatchet. i’d like to see them come together for real to protect him.

but i am just worried about how many eggs are being juggled here that i’m worried they’ll drop the ball on a few of them. i hope it ends up making sense, because i THINK it Does, but there’s a few pieces missing still.

back to the question, though. I DO think that them targeting his situation with his friends is very telling of where this will go. if hangman has no friends, he’s fucked.

[incandescent-creativity]

Hi lucent

I'm finally sending out blorbsday asks again (I think). Please assign your blorbos to the setting of a book you like and explain briefly (or longly) how they'd fare.

Well I just reread the Inheritance Cycle and Murtagh so! Let's do that.

Beth's story... honestly wouldn't change from Eragon's very much. I'm envisioning this whole parallel arc to her actual story in The SOLE Project where Dr. Agau is this extremely old elf who wants to train the first Dragon Rider in hundreds of years, and puts all this pressure to perform on her. So she would have high expectations to memorize loads of words in the ancient language, be skilled in combat, and carry out the experiments Dr. Agau comes up with to push the boundaries of magic.

I don't know who her dragon would be, but I think whoever they are, they would disapprove of Dr. Agau not holding her experiments herself. She says it's because she doesn't have her dragon anymore, and therefore doesn't have the strength or energy to conduct them herself, but Dragon thinks it's just bc she doesn't want to put herself in danger.

ANYWAY there's a discussion in here about whether Dr. Agau would actually be more like Galbatorix and be in this controlling position of power, and Beth would be a Murtagh figure, controlled by her and powerful, but...

Hans would be like Roran. He has the charisma to keep people together and his strength comes from fighting for his friends, and being a human man would not stop him from trying to romance the elven Rider. As for how he'd fare, he's only in danger because how long he lives depends on how much angst I need to put Beth through.

Hallie is difficult to translate into Alagaesia. I think maybe she would be some kind of handmaid type thing in Agau's court, and be assigned to Beth when Agau sends her out. It would mean the Dragon would have to carry two, but Agau does not let Beth out into the world lightly. Dragon would definitely be mature/large enough. She would fare... She would be constantly stressed, but she would do her best to support Beth.

Christian would be an Urgal/Kull burned by dragon fire. I feel like I don't really need to say more than that, but I'm going to anyway. It's all there! The anger! The isolation from society bc 1. Urgals have all this stigma (even if this was a post-Name of Names setting) and 2. People recoil from the burns and scars! The tension with Beth and her dragon! So he'd far way worse than he is in SOLE Project but I think it would be fun fun fun.

Matt would be a dwarf and he would fare great and be happy until the rest of these ^ jokers showed up in his life. I don't know how he would get roped into things, but I'm sure he would be a good sport (though he would always maintain that his Ultimate End Goal is to get back to his happy life that they're all jealous of).

Michael... I'm tempted to make him a Shade sworn to Dr. Agau. I think that would be fun. And obviously he would fare terribly.

[methinmycoffee]

~~Spoilers (S26 E6)~~

A season finale to be remembered (forgotten). Eh, here's what I thought anyway.

Let's start with the positives:

I honestly enjoy Rick. He's funny, entertaining it's nice to see Garrison's impact on a positive influence in his life. I'll touch more on him in the negatives, but for now he's a generally good character. Me yelling "DUMP HIS ASS!" at the TV is good, because it means I am genuinely invested in this relationship. Even though I think Rick is far too good for Garrison, I don't mind that they're together. It's the new Clybe, a garbage fire reality TV couple.

Funny. Hehehe. I very much enjoyed the comparisons to like, a party addict but it's just Trump and he's getting a bunch of people to rally with him. Especially the scene in the bathroom where it’s like two guys doin’ it but they’re just screaming about America.

Stan is a nerd, but in a fun way. Good for him. A little out of left field, but good for him.

I enjoyed the parallel to Randy and Garrison's relationship. Especially at the end, when they reveal that Randy needs Sharon like Garrison needs Rick. Even though it's not healthy or fun for Sharon and Rick to deal with their partners, they're sort of stuck babysitting man-children they feel responsible for. Deep, but sort of fun and not as serious as I'm making it sound.

Let's middle with the negatives (idk man):

I DO NOT LIKE RANDY! Why did they do that to him? Honestly my Quest For Rankings(tm) has made me a little sad because I miss the old Randy. Since when is he an asshole with little regard for Stan's goings on? Since when is he a party guy who only cares about tits and booze and really hates Sharon and Shelly? Since he started to suck, around the time of season 20 but really going in full swing around season 22. This Randy was especially insufferable, and I do not enjoy him and Stan having a dumpster fire relationship.

Style feel divorced now. Matt Stone's characters had zero lines in this episode, so idk what's up with that, but Stan got to pick one person to play with all spring break and he chose To(l)k(i)en? Not in my canon. Seriously, I feel like this section should be longer because I’m so mad. I don’t like the change. I don’t think To(l)k(i)en doesn’t have a place in the show, but it’s not as the new Kyle.

We don’t need another bad relationship. Idk, I like Rick, but I think that maybe instead of constantly creating identical, toxic relationships where characters who used* to be fun become angry and bitter just like the aging writing staff. Give us some Stendy resolution. Give us a nice Sharon and Randy (shandy? Handy?) episode. Make a Creek episode at all. I know I complement the parallels between Garrison and Randy’s relationships, and it works well for in individual episode but imo it’s a little bit too much for every couple to constantly hate each other now. Matt and Trey must be having trouble in paradise.

*note: this is very in character for Garrison, actually. But maybe just set all that aside for a while and give us a good old fashioned Stan and his current lover (Kyle, Wendy, To(l)k(i)en even) against a clear evil without an agenda. Throw in Cartman and Kenny too.

And We’ll end with some Nitpicking:

This is honestly our season finale? This is it? A pretty decent Garrison plot and a shitty Randy plot? No main four classic adventure? No check-in for Cartman and his regular house? No hard reset away from Stolkien and back towards Style or away from Tregridy? Okay. We’ll see how the Paramount specials pan-out then.

I’m so tired, man.

The house party was a weird thing that came out of no where. Like, Randy threw water on a stripper that he hired to harass his son and his “friend”, and then the pimp(?) (not really sure, but I don’t think that’s how strippers work) was like “I’ll shoot you” so Randy said “I have drugs in the barn” and then Andrew Tate(?) was like “Okay let’s get hammered then.” And then he invited everyone he knew to a random weed farm in rural Colorado and they had a party? K.

A final thought:

I don’t usually do this. But I feel like this over-analysis was a little meaner than I usually am with these. So I’m going to put this out there: I don’t mind this episode. (5/10). It’s not evil. It didn’t kill my first born. I think Garrison’s plot was solid and in line with his character. I am just tired of toxic relationships. I don’t think this is specifically on Garrison, in fact I think the problem is more with Stendy and Shandy or whatever. I don’t like that Randy sucks now, and I didn’t like his half-assed “boys should be boys” attitude. I believe he can be done correctly, but something different needs to be done.

Also I don’t hate To(l)k(i)en, I’m mostly just mad at what’s been done to the show, and his shift to Stan’s best friend is part of it. I don’t mind Stolkien either, I’m not opposed to it, I just personal don’t think that To(l)k(i)en is that interesting and I miss the before times.

This is a call to the South Park team! You can be good. You can do good. You can write good (well). I have faith in you. If I was the only one who saw these problems, then the issue would lie more with me, but I’m not and I don’t think it is. But I have Faith! DikinBaus was good! Cupid Ye was good! Deep Learning was good! You can do some Deep Learning yourself and process what about those episodes worked, and we can get some kickass specials this summer. I believe in you! <3

[mermaidsirennikita]

I literally saw a tweet yesterday that was along the lines of "Johnny's gonna wake up and see how much Simone killed it at the Met Gala and he's gonna be so happy" and I was like...? I'm sure they're friends, they at least seem like it from interviews and bts stuff but I don't think they're that close or that he cares that much about? There's just a lot weird mythologizing around their friendship. And that goes for the whole cast basically.

I mean, I'll be real, I don't think I've seen any video interviews of them together and I'm not big on delving into the cast members' personal relationships with each other. So I can't judge. I do know I read a quote a month or so back where she said they texted almost daily, so I do think they get along very well and are friends, unless that was bullshit. But friendship is in levels--I've been really super tight with work friends during the work day, but haven't kept up with them after leaving the job. I have friends I can not text on a daily basis but who light up my life whenever we're physically together. I have friends I talk to every day who I've never met in person.

But yeah, this always happens with fandoms... Especially when they're trying to lowkey ship two people who can't or shouldn't be shipped together. I remember back in the day when Game of Thrones was airing there were people who'd outright ship Emilia Clarke and Jason Momoa together, even though he was married to Lisa at the time and she was dating various people (obviously, having partners doesn't mean people can't hook up, but I think Fandom Rules frown on that lmao)... But then you'd have another subset of people who'd just like "EMILIA IS JASON'S BEST FRIEND EVER AND THEY CONSTANTLY TALK AND THINK OF ONE ANOTHER" because they didn't want to look like they were shipping their fave with a married father of two... But secretly, they were.

I think it's a similar thing with the dramatization of JB and Simone's relationship. Like, I doubt he laid in his bed thinking of how she conquered the Met Gala for hours because like... I probably wouldn't think that of my friends doing the same lmao. I'd be like omg big moment for you and talk to them about it when we could, but I wouldn't be like... devoting a lot of individual thought time for it lmao.

But because JB is out, fandom can't easily ship him with Simone. Not unless they wanna get draaaagged. So instead they're shipped as besties who like, prioritize each other over romantic partners and anything else in life lmao. But fandom is only pushing it as a friendship, so you can't call them on it.

I also think there's like, a genuine discomfort with JB's identity with fans. Because they have a hard time reconciling the fact that they can be attracted to him and fantasize about the characters he plays. While accepting that he's not into women and has sex with men. It's something you see with a lot of out gay actors that "pass as straight" or otherwise have a significant straight female fanbase--Matt Bomer, Luke Evans, etc. To me, women who want to fuck JB but are like "how can I want gay man" use focusing on his friendship with Simone as a way of distracting from the fact that he has (or had? I know he had one recently-ish, don't know if they're still together) a boyfriend.

When it's like... You can enjoy him with your female gaze as Anthony or other fictional characters he plays. He seems super open to that based off his interviews. He's not restricting or rejecting your gaze. You can respect his sexuality while doing that; you don't have to pretend it doesn't exist. Idk what it is with women having such an issue with admitting that they're attracted to gay men. A man is a man. If you're into men, you could theoretically be into any man regardless of whether or not he's into you.

[ceterisparibus116]

Honestly Foggy was just ill informed and instead of listening he remained willfully ignorant, maintaining a if I don't see or hear about it all, and if I don't like it, then it isn't there or doesn't exist mentality. He made Matt's actions into a personal betrayal instead of what it really was. I commend him for showing up and wanting to work things out with Matt but it didn't really mean anything when he really wasn't going to put in the effort to understand, he just wanted Matt to relent. Foggy made everything about himself, he needed to have some give and he wasn't willing to. He didn't really fight all that hard and say No Matt explain it all to me he was just like that's not what I meant but okay then take care. He didn't fight to be informed. (also on a similar note: seeing Matt work so hard to stop being DD in the defenders, so his friends would be pleased, makes that scene hurt even more,looking back. Matt,for a time, really did end stop doing something that did so much and meant so much to him, for people who made it all about themselves, and were ignoring the big picture of what he had been doing in favor of getting what they wanted and deemed appropriate. He tried so hard) I'm not bashing Foggy, I love him, but he was so wrong by saying Matt was inventing problems. The problems existed even if you didn't see them personally Foggy.

Hard agree, Anon! I've talked before about how Foggy disappointed me, so I won't go into that too much here, but I do want to simply reiterate that Foggy's feelings don't justify his actions. I've seen some posts, fics, etc. that essentially argue that Foggy would be a bad friend if he weren't scared for Matt. And I agree with that. Foggy absolutely loves Matt, I don't think that's in dispute.

But we have to analyze Foggy's emotions separately from his actions. Foggy's fears, though legitimate, don't excuse his behavior. Love doesn't give you the right to be hurtful, no matter how good your intentions are. And it's possible for us, as the audience, to both understand (and even relate to) Foggy's emotional distress while still critically evaluating his treatment of Matt.

Anyway, moving on, I really like how you brought up Matt's sacrifice in the end of S2 and beginning of Defenders. It's often said that Foggy constantly reaches out to Matt while Matt gives him nothing in return, but that's simply not true. Matt gave up what he believed was his calling. And I'm not saying that was 100% an act of sacrifice on Matt's part for Foggy and Karen; I think there was a lot of depression mixed in, especially after losing Elektra. But Matt's scenes with Foggy and Karen indicate that at least some part of that choice was his attempt to appease Foggy and Karen.

And really I have a whole essay I could write on the subject, but I'll try to keep it short for now. But it's quite personal to me. There have been many times when I've been so excited over a way I've found to help people, and that excitement has been confirmed by seeing that yes, I actually am helping people. Like, me! I'm living for something bigger than myself, and I'm helping people! It's amazing. And in the middle of that, I've had people tell me to stop because I'm not doing what they think I should be doing. It's like a slap in the face. I mean, it's one thing if they say "Hey, you're doing this in an unhealthy way" (which has definitely been true at times), "let's figure out how you can do it while still taking care of yourself." Or it would be one thing if they say “Hey, you may think you’re helping, but let me show you why you’re really not.”

But it's different when they essentially say, "I don't like the way the things you're doing make me feel, so you have to stop."

And that's what I imagine Matt feels. He has this calling, he's good at it, he's helping people every single night...and then he's yelled at because it makes Foggy (and sometimes Karen, although I think her issue is more with Matt's lies than with Daredevil) feel some negative emotion. Like...really?

Honestly, the situation makes me think of this song "Alive in the Lights" by Memphis May Fire, specifically these lines:

Maybe if you paid more attention Asked more questions and actually listened You would see this is not just a dream But a path I've chosen that means everything to me

Don't you see the minds that have changed? Don't you see the lives that have been saved? Don't you care to see the difference I've made?

Anyway, that got weirdly personal, but what can I say, I take my fandom analyses very seriously, which sometimes requires diving uncomfortably deeply into my own experiences. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Tldr; Matt is not perfect, but he deserves to be listened to and understood.

[starshipsofstarlord]

Stuck in 1903

Part Two

Masterlist

Summary: Damon and Bonnie had come to your rescue, or so you thought, but it is Kai’s every intention to get close to you again

Pairing: Kai Parker x reader

Warnings: angst, smidge of fluff, mentions of smut, mentions of death, mentions of murder, bad friendships, mentions of poison, swearing

Word Count: 2052

Find Part One Here

divider by @firefly-graphics

If the Other Side continued to exist, then you would be there rather than this subordinate prison world which had been designed for one bad witch. Kai's own kind feared him, you had experienced him mentally draining your energy, he was a chore to put up with, but he could do much more than that, you had learnt from Bonnie. He fed off magic, physically stealing it from bodies and items that harboured any of it, which had poisoned his mind to hunt for power. Your friends had informed you that he had murdered his siblings, well some of them anyway, and had attempted to do so to more of them. And now you knew, with supporting evidence, never to trust Malakai Parker.

Without Damon and Bonnie you had to resort to fending for yourself, which was not at all difficult since this version of Mystic Falls that you were trapped in was quite literally a ghost town. The forever enveloping silence was torture, though the method of ignorance had not been designed for you; it was all for Kai, and that unsettled you. There was one more thing that you had been dreading - the possibility that you could not escape from the remote isolation without the aid of the guest starring siphon himself. This hell was built to contain him for eternity, but now there was magic that he could use to his own advantage nearby.

Your cheek rested upon the side of your hand, mushing the flesh whilst your elbow was poised upon the countertop of the kitchen island in the Salvatore house. All of your concentration validated your deep thoughts, of which you were broken from as a plate was placed directly in front of you, a pancake decorated with chocolate chips and syrup to form a smiley face. Damon was the culprit as he threw a tea towel over his shoulder, expectedly looking at you.

"I'm not hungry." You informed the vampire, who simply frowned at your lack of an appetite. "I ate yesterday, which was technically today." Beneath the table, you crossed your ankles, as you earnt a sigh from your well aged friend; he clearly was not impressed by your behaviour. But you didn't know what he had expected from you, you had been trapped here for longer than you could remember, and alone until you had discovered the man that had been outcast by his own family. At the time you had not known of his murderous tendencies, and had wanted nothing more than to get away from him, and you wouldn't like to admit it but you even missed him a little.

He was annoying and cocky, and withheld crucial information from you, though there was something that contradicted that all. Whenever any one of your friends had suffered the fate of death, they were always attempted to be brought back to life against the natural order of things. It made you wonder and doubt a little if they had even tried to resurrect you. In this separated reality, there was no jurisdiction so that you could know, though each time that either Damon or Bonnie looked at you, you could swear that there was guilt written in their gazes.

"Look I knew being stuck here with Kai must have fucked you up-" he should have bit his lip, his assumptions were anything but correct. And that was proven as you defensively darted out of your seat and jabbed your finger in his face, making him pivot his jaw back. There were many things that were 'fucked up', and supposing that you were one of them because you had died after sacrificing yourself to ensure that they all continued to live just didn't settle right with you. The context of the morbid situation did not help with condoning any reassurance at all, in fact, it gave a spine to your lack of faith in him and the others in the first place. Out of everyone, it was inherently worse to be here with Damon, all he had cared about was his precious Elena as well as himself, and after existing for well over a century, that was insurance that he was never going to change.

"It wasn't him who did that to me, it was roaming this damned place by myself, I had no one. And as crazy as it sounds, I think spending time with the notorious Malakai Parker helped me keep what was to spare of my sanity. If I'm not wrong, I may even say that I've found more being here than dealing with the bullshit y'all cause back home." Perhaps your words were a tad harsh, if Bonnie were in the room you were sure that she'd have a somewhat understanding of what you were saying. Though she was not, and thus you had to deal with the harshness of her best friend all by your lonesome. And it seemed that you had rattled him, apparently he couldn't handle the truth.

"Then why don't you run back to the sociopath? When we discovered that you were here, we found the pair of you attached to the hip anyways. And with him inside of you, I'd never seen you so darn happy, better here with him than tempting me to drink bleach from the way that you constantly complained when you were alive; I swear you were worse than Donovan." It was on your mind's own command for you to take a step back, and away from the toxin that Damon had so cruelly spat at you. Ans the way that he compared you to Matt made you angry; it was though he were ignoring that there were valid reasons for the blond to be the way that he was - after all, the monster before you had practically killed his sister. A laugh renegaded out from your mouth as you realised that you had been right all along, none of them cared. You were just a burden that stopped them from having a perfect life together. If this were a book, then this would be the beginning to your villain arc, and ironically enough Damon saw himself as one of the good guys. Now that was utterly ridiculous after every reckless thing that he had ever done!

"Have it your way then bloodsucker." All along, you should have trusted your guy, and from now on you knew that you would listen to it. And strangely enough, it was calling you to Kai, maybe it was because he was your last resort to escaping this imprisonment that had been meant for him alone. Turning on your heel, you heard Damon flop the towel down on the side and sigh, though you continued to walk, appeasing your better judgement elsewhere. "Wait." He tried to convince you to stay, belatedly understanding the mistake that he had made, but it was no use, you were already on your journey of getting as far away as possible from him.

The Mystic Grill, it remained to be familiar in your eyes as you entered. It was empty and void of drunken assholes and narcissists that you had wasted too much time on. The only person that you missed in the modern alternative was Matt Donovan, he was the only person that didn't treat you as though you were invisible or a nuisance. You wondered how he was coping with your absence, knowing him, he was probably relieved that Damon was gone. But you weren't, because he was here with you instead. Trailing your fingertips over the counter of the bar, out of the corner of your eye you saw a lonely glass of bourbon that was sat there as though it were lamenting you with mockery. You tried to hold your sentimental sob inside, but it was practically impossible. It tore through your body, bellowing out from your mouth as you stifled and fought through your tears.

A hand caressed the landscape of your back causing you to jump and flinch from the unexpected contact. One thing that you had learnt from evading and eventually experiencing the qualms of death, was that you could never be too careful. For no more than a second you had predicted that the intruder to your pity party was Damon, that he had followed you as you tried to distance yourself from him, but alas it was not, instead of being greeted by a fretless vampire, you were condemned by the sight of a powerless witch, of whom had purposely interjected your moment of cracked emotion and wore a brave smile for you. Wiping your eyes with the back of your sleeves, you couldn't help but snap at him. "If you're here to finish what we started then tough luck Parker, you've been here long enough and you have two hands, figure something else out."

His tongue darted out to swipe at his own bottom lip, as he raised his hand, showcasing his offering to you. "I was only going to see if you wanted a pork rind, you look like you could use one." Sighing, you dug your hand into the pungent packet that was littered with dust and crumbs, retrieving a few treats for yourself as you placed them in your mouth. "And now should be when the poison kicks in..." With your hand, you gave him a little shove as you tolled your eyes at his homicidal comedy. "Come on, that was funny! I'm funny!"

"If you say so, there's not very many people around to give you an honest opinion." It was true, the only other human like lifeforms impartially close by were Damon and Bonnie, and well, you weren't going to scurry back to them anytime soon. "And if you had poisoned me, then you would know that I would be fine and dandy in not so long, It wouldn't make a difference if that wasn't the case either, I mean I'm already dead, what could be worse than that?" Kai looked at you with shock; he didn't know that about you, that you had actually suffered a final breath. Now he thought about it, the grand scheme of things he didn't know much about you in general, though he was prepared to learn. He had often found death to be fulfilling, satisfying even, but he'd never thought about its victims being so beautiful. Yet here you were before him, by chance the one force that could motivate and help him find a way out of this jarring hole of reaping misery.

"You're here, that's all that matters." As soon as those words fled from his lips he realised exactly what he had said, and a blush framed his features. "I um - that wasn't what I - you know, yeah..." He scratched the back of his neck as you shook your head at this new side that you were seeing of Malakai. His parents called him Malakai, of course he was going to become a killer, but right now you saw nothing more than an embarrassed boy whose skin had flushed as an affect of his own words. From your experience, everyone was either the killer or the killed - you two were one of each. Like ying and yang, you fit perfectly, it was a balanced divide that was settled on whichever rhythm played out in the air. And to correspond with that thought you walked over to the jukebox, a song beginning to play which made Kai want to cover his ears. "I hate this song." He told you; he really did, if he could murder it, he would without a doubt.

"Then don't listen, just dance with me." You extended your hands out to him, to which he begrudgingly reached for. And as he snapped his eyes open, he realised that was all a memory, and that goddamn song was still playing. All he could think about was you, he had seen how upset you had been to die, and yet you were gone again, and it was all down to your so called friends. One was standing before him as he sat in chains, imprisoned against a chair. "Are you here to punish me?" He asked Bonnie, wanting nothing more than shut his eyes and see your face again.