#( i honestly am extremely upset that it's had to come to this... but guys. even when you block someone...that doesn't always help. )

[aethelwyneleigh27]

Dad!Simon "Ghost" Riley Imagines List

Before you ask, yes I been meaning to use @ave661 renders ever since she posted the Dad!Ghost part 2. Did I use most of them in this post? You know damn well I did.

Did I put in so much work into this one post? Yes. Am I going to be upset if it doesn't do as well as the ones I didn't put much effort in (Ahem the quokka Price imagine)? Also yes.

Tagging people who I think would like this: @puff0o0, @blingblong55. Honestly that was it but if y'all wanna be tagged in the next post then tell me in the replies :)

Parings: Ghost x Wife!Reader

❥ Dad!Simon who values nothing else over spending time with you and your child, even if it's something as simple as him and your little one laying down on your lap while you watch tv together. (Top left pic 🥺)

❥ Dad!Simon who gives the baby a bath for the first time, doing his best not to get soap in their eyes. Him rubbing the baby's head gently with his thumb to wash the suds off the little one's head and hair while they look up at him and coo.

❥ Dad!Simon who had a heart attack the moment he heard the baby cough while they're still in the baby bath net. He just turned away for a second to grab the towel behind him, the one moment he took his eyes off them, the little rascal tried to drink the bath water.

❥ Dad!Simon who's ever so gentle with dressing the baby, they're too little and too fragile in his eyes. Watching the baby try to chew on their own fist while he puts their little socks on. (Matching skeleton mittens for the little baby 🥺)

❥ Dad!Simon who loves hearing his baby let out such loud giggles whenever he kisses them, it's music to his ears to hear his little one let out such a hearty laugh, their little arms and legs flailing because their face is being tickled by his stuble.

❥ Dad!Simon who absolutely adores when his baby attempts kissing him or you (their momma) because it's basically just them having their tiny hands on his or your face while they're open-mouthed and almost headbutting their little lips on either yours or your husband's face.

❥ Dad!Simon who absolutely love nap time, mainly because he takes the naps with them. Nothing more sweet than waking up with the little one's life you two brought to this world.

❥ Dad!Simon who you found awake in the middle of the night to put the baby back down to sleep.

"Come on now pumpkin, you should let your momma rest. She's extremely tired of taking care of both of us.." Simon whispers while he cradles the baby in his arms, trying to lull them back to sleep.

You couldn't help but smile, knowing that what you do doesn't go unappreciated.

"I would never get tired taking care of you two" You said in a hushed tone, making Simon's head snap to the doorway.

To see you, his loving wife look at him as if he was the most important thing in this world reminded him if why he wanted to marry you a few years back.

❥ Dad!Simon who receives a video you sent him while he's deployed of the baby waking up from a nap.

❥ Dad!Simon who doesn't notice you in the room while you were trying to collect laundry, he was working out, you caught him doing push ups and your baby's attempts in copying their dad.

❥ Dad!Simon who bought the baby a little stuffie that they now are emotionally attached to and bring everywhere, yeah the baby constantly signals Simon to kiss the stuffie too.

❥ Dad!Simon who had to train Riley not to lick the baby so much because dog slobber and even though Riley was well behaved, poor thing didn't have much of a self-control the first time you guys brought the baby home.

❥ Dad!Simon who thinks it's absolutely adorable that his little one likes Riley so much.

"Dada!" The baby called out for Simon.

"Dada, Ri-ley" They said, pointing out a little finger to your family dog.

"Yeah pumpkin, that's Riley" Simon said, letting the little one make a beeline and waddled quickly towards Riley, giving the dog a hug with their tiny arms.

❥ Dad!Simon who spends forever looking for the skull part of his mask only to find the baby trying to chew on it, couldn't really blame them because the sight was cute and he knew how agitated they were with teething.

❥ Dad!Simon who constantly washed his gloves and almost never took it off during your baby's teething stage because god they were a strong biter. The gloves helped cushion the pain of the bites a lot.

❥ Dad!Simon who swore his heart was about to burst when he saw you and the baby meet him before he was able to go home after deployment for a surprise. (Of course Price was the one who set it up, he wanted to see his grandchild (might as well be)

"Dadadada–dada—da" Your baby squealed out while reaching out, recognizing Simon almost too fast even with the mask on.

"Pumpkin," Simon says as he takes your baby out of your arms and into his "–yeah, dada's here now. Missed me like I missed you?" Simon asks the baby as if they could actually respond.

The little one let out a happy little gurgle, hands reaching out for Simon's face.

"I'll take that as a yes" Simon tenderly kisses the top of the baby's head through his balaclava.

❥ Dad!Simon who loves baby hugs, the tiny little arms providing a bit of warmth while he holds his baby in his, rubbing their little head with his gloved hand and fingers.

Taskforce interacting with little Ghostie

[gacha-incels]

“Arknights/Limbus Company/etc is obviously very political, why are these incels playing it?” Here’s a longer answer if you’re interested.

If you haven’t been watching gacha communities for the past decade this might be confusing to you, but these guys see the games as just apolitical stories with a majority or all-female cast being there to titillate the male viewer. They are for his consumption. It’s why in both eastern and western “gacha game” communities you can see them talking about how these games are better for having “beautiful” anime women versus the hideous hags of western media. I’ve seen so many people asking “how are incels playing a game with so many strong female characters?” They see them not as “strong female” characters but rather “eyecandy made for me”. tbh when it comes down to it I wouldn’t call any of the designs in these games absolutely groundbreaking for the anime genre they’re aiming for. Arknights even follows the standard “fully animal faced-guy” and the female equivalent “small featured anime animal girl with some fur”. This doesn’t mean the designs are bad or you’re foolish for enjoying them of course, there are a lot of fun ones. Anyway, you can see the same sentiment in the majority of anime communities as well. Like do you think that stereotype of an anime nerd who “loves 2D women but hates 3D women” means he’s a feminist because the 2D girl is still female?

To be frank, after some of the actions taken by these companies (ex. the firing of women for posting anything vaguely feminist) can you honestly say an “apolitical game with anime babes” is not the way the games are often enjoyed? The company Yostar who publishes Arknights in Korea literally wrote a statement saying the game is apolitical and calling feminism a dividing force. If the publisher can say something so flippantly like this just to appease their incel fanbase, how can the game be making any meaningful, hardline progressive political statements? I am of course not saying this renders any positive message you get from these games moot nor am I saying it’s impossible for the writers to be passionate about their work, I’m just relaying the thoughts of the incels/“gacha gamers” playing them because there seems to be confusion. What I’m writing here doesn’t mean the worst interpretation of these games are their defining interpretations. I’m trying to explain how the games that many people see as being antithetical to incel beliefs can have these same men as high-spending fans.

Gacha games are unique in the world of consumer media in their extremely close and constant relationship with the consumer. You have to not only love each character’s design (and sometimes story) but also be willing to drop serious gambling money to “buy” them every single month. It’s like merchandizing on steroids. I think the term “whale” has been watered down since younger kids have started playing, but these people spend thousands per patch. Over the years I’ve heard about multiple games like this being sustained by just a couple of high spenders. In 2018 there was even a western news article about a man who had spent $70k+ on FGO. The publisher can’t rock the boat too much to displease the consumer too many times without risking EoS. Every character design and story of a gacha game is affected by this FIRST while any artistic intent comes second.

A Korean woman who had lost her job due to similar “feminist hunting” tactics wrote an article describing the way these incel men think. I posted it here and part of it summarized: the men that play these games see themselves as buying and “owning” the female characters in gacha games, who are often dressed and presented to them in a highly sexualized manner and will obey their commands. In the same way they “own” these 2D women, they also want to own the thoughts of the real live female illustrators who work on the games. Therefore, if these women have expressed ideas that the male gamers find upsetting, they will be angry she doesn’t conform to what they want like the servile 2D girl and do everything to get her fired (this is where she mentions Limbus Company as the most recent example of this happening).

You can argue for some of these games, maybe the girls aren’t dressed super provocatively and give (you) shit instead of being a simpering doll, but in the end it’s not like they can physically walk away or stop speaking to you. For the “waifu” hunter guy it’s just a different type of anime girl to collect.

The stories in these games are generally not what gets targeted as much by incels. In gacha “gamer” communities, especially the Korean incel ones, their main concerns are: how revealing are the summer swimsuits? How many women work for the company designing characters? and related, Are the male characters designed for women or for men and do they “look gay”? If you search through this blog, you can see them directly speaking about these things in regards to their hatred of Genshin Impact and Star Rail. All of these have also been encapsulated in the original Limbus Company incel attack: they hated that the summer female character looked more “clothed” (wearing a skintight suit instead of a bikini) than the male summer character. They thought the collar necklace and open shirt on the male summer character meant he was “a slave” for the female viewers, so obviously it was designed by a woman. When they learned a man designed and illustrated those characters, they searched to find a female illustrator who worked in the game and went after her instead. These guys WERE FANS that played the game beforehand and didn’t think anything in the story was upsetting enough to attack the company about. They were familiar enough with the works of Project Moon to name their little group after an antagonizing force in one of PM’s previous (non-gacha) videogames. And Project Moon saw them as such a significant part of their gacha fanbase that they wrote an immediate apology and fired the artist. How do these actions in reality inform their fiction and the interpretation of it? Getting this out of the way, they were NOT in any danger, the “fans” were not clamoring to get in their offices or camping outside, they were let in and calmly had a meeting with some employees at the office. You can still find photos of them goofing around, the ridiculous write up they brought with them and a transcript of the conversation. This was not a “guy shows up at Mihoyo’s offices with a knife” situation. In the end it was a financial and moral loss for the studio with many new and longtime fans completely dropping the games and Limbus Company taking one of the biggest financial and D/MAU drops for a gacha I’ve ever seen. You can read more regarding the ramifications of this here, this post is already pretty long for this website anyway.

Again I’m not writing this to shame anyone who plays these games, loves their characters or enjoys their stories. I don’t really care either way, and I obviously find the genre interesting or else I wouldn’t have been monitoring it and the fans for a decade. I just want to shine a light on the thoughts of the more “incel” gamers that play some of these games since I have seen a lot of genuine confusion as to why they would play them. In the future my aim is to write a more in-depth post about these issues, their history and the way antifeminists think.

[noemilivv]

What the

HAZBIN HOTEL CAST

are like as …

PARTNERS !! (And before that!) (Pt. 2)

Also before I get into this, I would just like to say THANK YOU SO MUCH for the immense amount of love I got on the first part of this!! I would’ve never thought I would’ve gotten so much love so quickly, so thanks a bunch for every like or reblog, they mean the world :)

Including: Vox, Velvette, Rosie, Cherri

Warnings: Sexual references (no smut), swear words, possible spoilers to S1

Vox

Crush!Vox had a crush on you before he even met you lmfao

You were a performer, a performer he really wanted to market, and he spent so much time gawking over you and that opportunity before he even met you

But once Crush!Vox got the opportunity to work for you and officially meet you, he was stoked, but don’t let that fool you, he kept his cool…on the outside

And, still, he spent more time gawking over you…

But now, that time Crush!Vox spent fangirling was now spent in his office. He would have to put so much concentration into not short-circuiting, he would not be able to catch what your saying.

After a few months of working with you, he invites you to a ‘business dinner.’

Yeah… ‘business dinner’ turns into fucking…

It took a few weeks after for Crush/Situationship!Vox to turn into BF!Vox, and to be honest, he isn’t sure where to start…

Sure, BF!Vox has fucked around quite a bit, but honestly… he’s never been in an actual relationship with a label, it’s a bit of a heavy weight and he’s scared to do it, but that doesn’t mean he won’t.

His love language is definitely physical touch and acts of service, he’s not great with his words, he actually sounds like a dick in most sentences that fly out of his mouth, so actions are the only way he knows how.

BF!Vox fucks up his words a lot when he isn’t using his business persona, because he’s not used to talking like that, he genuinely has to keep a mental checklist to make sure he doesn’t fuck up his words — especially if you’re upset.

BF!Vox tries to show it through actions (in more ways than one) instead, whether it be a hug while your upset, doing an extra bit of your work if you’re having a rough week so you don’t have to worry about it, physical intimacy, the list goes on.

Overall, he may not be all he’s built up to be, but he genuinely has so much love for you, he just wishes he could tell you.

Velvette

Crush!Velvette is the kinda girl to absolutely stalk your ass when she likes you (not actually), whether it be checking your location every five minutes, digging into your social media pages (especially with the help of Vox), and so much more.

Crush!Velvette decides to DM you about a potential ‘business offer’ (gotta keep the name clean, yk?) to start out, and you guys meet for lunch to discuss it, yeah uh.. turns out you guys hit it the fuck off immediately!

Once you and Crush!Velvette really get close, you grow close to the other Vee’s too, sorta making you and honorary Vee member.

Your off with Vox and Val, and Val’s bitching about god knows what, until he slips about Velvette’s feelings for you.

“Oh yeah, fuckin’ Velvette is just SO into you now, like excuse me bitch?! What the fuck am I to you if you think so HIGHLY of THAT? No offense… But anywa-” Val rants off as you three cruise the street, without Velvette’s presence.

“VAL.” Vox glitched, cutting off Val mid-rant, gesturing to you beside him, before Valentino mutters a “Shit.” under his breath.

Yeah… Velvette found out, and she was livid, but only for a short period because she got sidetracked when she found out you felt the same.

Now GF!Velvette LOVES spoiling you, she’s also constantly getting you business opportunities with either her or one of the boys, tailoring you custom outfits no one else has, spending a shit ton of cash on you, she’s basically a sugar mommy…

GF!Velvette’s love language is gift giving. She could for sure spend several hours at the mall picking out gifts for you, from all different ends of the extreme, one day she’ll come home with a small, cheap trinket from HellMart that was stupid but nonetheless reminded her of you, and the next day she’ll come home with some expensive ass designer clothes and bag.

GF!Velvette thrives off of princess treatment, especially because of how she was treated with the Vee’s before your relationship, so she kinda expects it cause then she feels kinda empty inside without it, and she can get a bit bratty about it, but baby girl means well💕

Rosie

Crush!Rosie notices right away, and she’s pretty smart about it. She spends time with you, but not too much. She’s nice to you, but she pulls back to tease slightly. She gives you a taste of what life would be like with her, but not a big enough taste so your left wanting to know whats next.

Crush!Rosie catches onto the fact that you just might feel the same way, so she decides to just suck it up and ask.

After realizing you two feel the same about each other, you share a lovely conversation over tea about what you two want out of this, communication is very important to Rosie so she thinks if she gives it to you, you’ll give it right back, right?

You two decide, yeah, a relationship would be cool, and GF!Rosie is through the roof!

GF!Rosie is a very open and honest gf, communication is very important to her, it’s one of her top things she expects out of a partner, she tries her best to have an open mind when it comes to her partner, even if you two have a problem, and she expects the same from you — She’s very vocal in a civil way about her feelings and expectations — but don’t let that scare you, she’s a sweetie!

GF!Rosie’s love language is quality time and words of affirmation! Rosie doesn’t expect anything extravagant, (although it is nice, and she surely doesn’t mind it), but being with you is simply enough— and as stated before, she’s not afraid to speak her mind around her partner, so she thinks you look good? She’s gonna say it. She thinks you’re amazing? She’s gonna say it. That’s just how she is, and she hopes you can get used to it because she’s sure as hell comfortable with you.

Cherri

Crush!Cherri will be completely oblivious to the fact that you like her, it could be right in front of her face, and she’d have absolutely no idea. Unless you flat out suck her face off, she’ll have no clue. Which kinda stops her from confessing for awhile.

But after having a talk with Angel, she decides to go for it.

“Cherri, you’re telling me your a badass hoe, who can chuck bombs like it’s nothin’, but you can’t tell someone you wanna bang?” Angel goes off to Cherri as they watch the romcom on the TV infront of them.

She thinks for a moment. “Huh. Yeah. You’re right. I’m gonna tell them!” Cherri announces, marching off,

“Wait now?! Yous leaving me ‘n Fat Nuggets alone!?”

And then, you get a knock on your door at 1am, and it’s Crush!Cherri, with bed head and peejays, going on and on, you didn’t understand a lot of it, you were fucking tired! But bottom line is, you got out ‘We should date’ and you did not pass that opportunity.

GF!Cherri tries to push you out of your comfort zone, and sometimes that leads to accidentally pressuring you, she won’t know unless you tell her (again, not the most aware person), but if you do she ends up feeling really bad, but she’s glad she knows now!

GF!Cherri’s love language is so quality time, it doesn’t matter if you guys are shooting bitches or cuddling on the couch or fucking, as long as she’s with YOU, she could care less

She may not be the best girlfriend ever, but as long as you stick by her side, she’s content.

[starsfic]

Stupid Ex

Summary: An ex of Qi Xiaotian tries to claim his and Red's new baby is his. The flaming calf. The flaming calf that looks just like Red.

“Look at her…”

“She’s so little!” Long Xiaojiao cooed, snapping a picture with visible tears beading up in her eyes. Pigsy and Tang were close to bursting into tears as well, either gripping each other or the frame of the bed that their son lay in. Qi Xiaotian smiled happily, even with exhaustion glazing over his eyes.

Their smiles and tears surrounded the little bundle Xiaotian held. A small scarlet calf slept in the soft gold blanket, nestled safe and close to the baba she had just come out of screaming barely an hour ago. According to the nurses and the doctor, she was very healthy and very adorable, both of which Xiaotian agreed with. Even better, she had inherited Red’s features, including the bull true form. (Hey, sue him, he was still adjusting to his monkey form.)

“Where’s Red?” Xiaojiao asked, breaking him out of his admiration. “I thought he would be here, all over you two.”

Xiaotian felt a snicker come out at the mention of his spouse. “He burst into happy tears when he saw her,” he said. Red had barely been able to hold his daughter, sobbing threats at the Buddha for making something so defenseless so small. “I honestly thought he would pass out with how hard he was crying, so I sent him to get some air and let his parents know Huiying’s here.”

The doors slammed open.

“Oh, speak of-” Xiaotian felt the words die down when he saw the look on his spouse’s face. Sun Wukong and Red’s parents trailed behind, exchanging concerned looks, and Xiaotian could see why.

Red looked pissed. The quiet kind, the kind that couldn’t even light his hair. The set to his jaw and the cold fire in his eyes relaxed, just a little, when they met eyes. So Xiaotian was pretty sure he wasn’t pissed at him.

“Oh, look at her!” Sun Wukong was there, forcing Xiaotian to look away from Red. “Mind if I hold her, kid?”

“Sure!” Xiaotian passed Huiying over. His daughter made a little noise, but settled in the king’s arms easily. “Be careful around Red, we don’t him to pass out from all the tears.”

“Nah, DBK’s the guy you wanna be concerned around,” Wukong chuckled, flashing a grin at his former sworn brother. “Right, bud?”

DBK snorted about how he was a mighty demon king, he didn’t cry over a baby, only for him to see Huiying and have tears bead up. The scene of his father-in-law, the mighty Demon Bull King, crying over his daughter should’ve delighted Xiaotian. It did, but Red’s anger burned at the back of his mind. A warm hand wrapped around his, and he looked away from Iron Fan cooing over Huiying’s little hooves up at Red.

His spouse met his eyes.

“I’ll tell you later,” he said, too quietly for anyone else to hear them. “Once we’re home.”

“...Okay.”

-_-

Red didn’t explain when they got home. At least, not immediately.

Three days passed. To be fair, they were an extremely busy three days, with adjusting to having the actual baby home, greeting guests, and planning Huiying’s 100th day celebration. His family were all great help, but it was still an adjustment. Xiaotian had nearly put Red’s weird expression out of his mind until the fourth afternoon, when he was feeding Huiying. His spouse settled across from him.

“Hey, what’s for lunch?” Xiaotian asked, coming to a pause when he looked up. Red had that same cold fury in his eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“So, I must ask…do you know of a man named Chen Zixin?”

Xiaotian blinked at the random question. “Zixin? The name sounds familiar, yeah, but…” Something tugged at his mind at it. The name sounded familiar, and Xiaotian’s gut twisted unpleasantly. “I think he’s an ex of mine?”

Red nodded. “I figured.” He took in a deep breath. “Now, I need to let you know, I am not accusing you of doing anything. I am not upset at you.”

Something cold shot down his spine. “What…what happened?”

Red pulled out his phone. “He called me while I was trying to call my parents. He texted me when he couldn’t get in touch with me. I did block his number, but I saved the texts in case.” Xiaotian exchanged Huiying, still contently sucking on her bottle, for Red’s phone. He had already pulled up the screenshots.

Unknown Number: Hey, you're Red, right? Married to Qi Xiaotian?

Me: Do you care to explain why you are trying to communicate with me? I am very busy today.

Unknown Number: Okay, easy, dude. My name is Chen Zixin and I'm an ex of Xiaotian's.

Me: I do not see the point.

Unknown Number: I hate to drop this on you, but Xiaotian and I got back into contact nearly a year ago. I swear, I didn't know he was with someone. But I need to tell you that there's a good chance that his baby's mine.

The moment he read the last line, his stomach dropped.

"Red, I swear, I didn't-"

Warm lips pressed against his forehead. "I know you didn't." Red glanced down at his phone and barely managed a chuckle. "He's so stupid. I asked him what his proof was. Go to my files, I labeled the proof as Idiot."

Xiaotian did, barely resisting a snicker at the file name. What popped up were the screenshots that Red had shown him and more screenshots. He felt a brow raise as he looked the other screenshots over. It looked like a few weeks' worth of talking between Zixin and "him." It was all steamy sex talk, including nudes. At the first one, conveniently cut off under his face, Xiaotian felt himself pause, connecting the dots.

"He doesn't know you changed your number, for one thing," Red chuckled, sounding a bit happier. His tone turned sweet and adoring as he looked down at Huiying. "And he doesn't know Baba got top surgery before we were blessed with you, yes, he doesn't know..."

Xiaotian chuckled. "Plus, I am not that skinny." He paused as a thought occurred to him. "Hey, should we tell whoever's picture this is that he's using their picture?"

Red chuckled a little bit harder, sitting down next to him. "No need. I reverse-Googled it. It's an art model picture, and it’s literally the first image that pops up when you Google “art model”." 

"Oh, great!" Well, that left one other thing. "What should we do about Zixin, though?" The fact that an ex he barely remembered had popped out of the woodwork to try and claim paternity of his daughter was... worrying. “Did you tell him off or something?”

"Don't worry." Red grinned like a cat who had gotten the cream. "I told him that he was an idiot, and since our wonderful daughter has not inherited your lovely features-"

"Stop it."

"That he was an idiot, that his accusation alone showed that he had no knowledge of who you were as a person, and I pray that he never passed down his genes if he ever actually had a child."

"...Wow." Scam callers alone never bothered them again once Red got on the phone, so Xiaotian's concern was washed away by a wave of relief. "So, since that's dealt with, what's for lunch?"

"I have that handled."

-_-

The next week or two were quiet. Qi Xiaotian assumed that Zixin had gotten the hint and had decided to leave his weird quest to claim Huiying as his child behind. Good for him. Xiaotian was more focused on his family.

Like today!

Pigsy had finally gotten the money and permission to extend the noodle shop. It was now bigger and better but still affordable and delicious. People were gathered around, watching as Pigsy pulled out big scissors. Xiaotian, Tang, and Xiaojiao stood on the side, with Tang beaming and Xiaojiao snapping a hundred photos. Xiaotian felt his chest squeeze tight with pride as Pigsy cut the red ribbon.

Or maybe that was Huiying, rubbing her cheek against his chest from where she was nestled in her sling.

It was probably both.

Yeah, it was both.

As people trickled in, Tang calling dibs on getting the first bowl, Xiaotian found himself next to his Dadsy, hugging him tight. "Oh, I am so proud of you!"

Pigsy patted his back. "Couldn't have done it without you, kid," he said into his shoulder. "You've been a massive help with everything."

"I don't feel like I was," Xiaotian grumbled as he pulled away. "I barely got in a week of helping the construction." The moment Pigsy learned he was expecting, Xiaotian was banned from helping. All he could do from there was help Pigsy make sure that everything legal was squared away, do some marketing on social media, and taste-test Pigsy’s new dishes.

Pigsy sighed, reaching up and patting his head. "You were there for me, son. That's more help than I'll ever need. Plus," His tone turned even more adoring as he reached out, stroking Huiying's little cheek. She made a little noise at the affectionate gesture, and Xiaotian felt his heart melt. "I wanted things to be ready so my granddaughter has something to be proud of!"

Xiaotian chuckled at Huiying's little snort. "Oh, yeah. I can't wait for her to be old enough to help out-"

"MONKIE KID!"

"Oh great." The peace couldn't last this long, could it? Red wasn't even here yet to provide commentary. Xiaotian sighed and turned to the twin demons, striking a pose. Was it just him, or did they look pissed? "What do you two want?"

"We finally have a way to defeat you!" Yin bellowed. "Although I expected better of you!"

"Yeah!" Jin said, and yeah, that was a glare. "Who knew the Monkie Kid was a filthy cheater?"

Wait, what. "I'm not a cheater."

"That's not what this fine gent says!" They moved, revealing a guy. "Remember him?"

Xiaotian squinted. The guy looked familiar, he guessed? He looked like a hundred other guys he saw on the street. "Not really?" Yin, Jin, and the guy all blinked. He glanced at Pigsy, who was also squinting. "Pigsy, do you know him?"

"I...think?"

"Oh, come on, enough of this bullshit!" The guy yelled. "You know me! I'm the father-" Wait. Waaaait. “I can’t believe you’re still lying!”

"You're Zixin?"

The guy paused, blinking. Yin and Jin looked a little nervous, jumping when there was a yell of "YES!" The guy moved forward, but one of the twins grabbed his arm. "And I know that baby's mine, you can't deny it."

"My dude," Xiaotian felt a snicker rise up. "My dude, I barely remember you. Why would I fuck some guy I barely remembered?"

"I don't know! You're probably lying." The guy gestured to Yin and Jin. "But these fine blokes are gonna help me take back my baby!"

The demon twins blinked before exchanging looks.

"Oh, yeah."

"Right!"

Xiaotian blinked, and then, instead of standing on the sidewalk, he stood on a stage. Several people, including Pigsy, Tang, and Xiaojiao, sat in the stands. A big, flashing sign lit up, spelling out WHO'S THE BABY DADDY in neon.

Xiaotian sighed, glancing over at his family. Pigsy had pulled out his phone while Xiaojiao was snickering and recording. Tang just looked amused. Good. He wanted to save this. Maybe he could get some videos from the cameras perched everywhere?

"So!" Yin and Jin appeared, both dressed in suits and ignoring Zixin throwing up in the background. "We have a contested custody battle here!"

"This fine gentleman claims that the Monkie Kid's baby is his!"

"And the Monkie Kid's husband..."

"Isn't here," Xiaotian said before the spotlight could move. "And, I would like to make a point before you three humiliate each other even further." Yin and Jin blinked again. Xiaotian didn’t wait for the response. “My baby,” he said. "You mean this baby?"

Xiaotian couldn't help the smirk that rose up when he revealed Huiying's little face, and Yin and Jin's faces dropped. "This baby," he repeated, holding her up for the cameras to see. Several coos and gasps of adoration filled the stadium- before Huiying sneezed. As people screamed in shock at the flames, Xiaotian stared down Yin, Jin, and Zixin. "This baby," he said. "You're claiming that this baby isn't Red Son's?"

Red snorted, looming over them. All three of them jolted, meaning none of them had seen Red stalk through the audience and now loom, Xiaotian's inner sex kitten purring at the beast.

That was his husband.

That was the only possible father of this and any future children.

"Heyyy Red Son!"

"Look, we just wanted to make sure-"

"YOU STOLE MY-"

Yeah, definitely the only father.

[legacyshenanigans]

HiHi 💜

Just another quick thing I want to get off my chest. And be vulnerable with you guys.

So yesterday was fucking crazy for me.

I basically had a small mental breakdown.

I want you all to know, that I feel like I made it sound like I was never going to come back, I will definitely return to this blog, but after writing this, I'm giving myself atleast a week, to just chill and soothe my mind.

I Havnt cried today, so that's a plus 😅

I adore interacting with you guy's, so im not going to dissappear completely, or atleast i dont want to. And I will come back, whether it's to do OC content of murder hubby and gang (which I'm still very much in love with because I literally put my heart and soul into creating them) or even if it's just to post random shit haha, I like the little cult I've made here, I want to continue to interact with you guy's. ❤️ Because, honestly, the Volo Cult mean the fuckin world to me,

The amount of love I received yesterday made me cry so fuckin much. It was truly overwhelming.

It definitely sucks when something you once love, and the main thing that made your blog what it is becomes irrelevant to you 😮‍💨 such a numbing, horrible feeling. I know I seem like a fiesty c*nt most of the time, and don't get me wrong, I totally am hahaha, but I get very intense feelings.

Will undercut next part because its potentially triggering content. And please. I do not expect sympathy, that's not why I'm about to tell you guy's this.

I think one of the main reasons I'm finding this whole thing difficult is because before I joined this fandom, I'd suffered an extremely brutal miscarriage, which really fucked me up, I won't go into to many details but the whole thing left me extremely traumatised due to some of the things that happend during that time, and when I joined this fandom it REALLY helped me take my mind off things, thats WHY it meant SO MUCH to me to be here, and why this is all seems very dramatic, because to me personally, it really did mean everything to me, and when my love for it died, thats why I was SO upset. Making my creations also really helped me, especially creating Marvolo, who's personality and lore and his general embodiment was born from a huge cluster fuck of mixed feelings and emotions I'd experienced from a very dark place, thats WHY he means so much to me. This fandom just really helped through a very shit time, and thats why I don't take this lightly, and why I'm so fuckin sad about the whole situation.

I just wanted you guy's to know that.

~

[gorgeouslypink]

my beloved pink, i am always so grateful for you and i have the best news ever!! i entered the void last night. i used the revision meditation you linked in that one ask and after it, i just knew i was going to wake up in the void and i did.

honestly this next part is a bit personal for me and ik some people are going to get mad but you're the only person who I can tell because in my new reality, I never experienced it. so i am Indian and the rest of my family is very fair skinned and even when they tan, their darkest is like an olive skintone. but i am very dark-skinned, like extremely. so ive been called ugly and dark since birth by my family. I go to a Korean dominated school and they are just like Indians, they value lighter skin so I underwent a lot of bullying for my dark skin there too. I've been told many times that I'd be so pretty if I wasn't so dark and this korean guy that I had a crush on who liked me too would only talk to me in secluded places and when I asked him, he told me that he wouldn't date me because I was too dark and he would be embarrassed. You know, if black women feel insecure about their skin color, they can go look at their culture or black celebrities and feel inspired and empowered. But all the Indian actresses are so pale too, I think the only time I've ever felt represented in the media is Bridgerton but I'm darker than Kate and Edwina and all the bullying has given me severe body dysmorphia. I always wear long sleeves and try to cover my skin as much as possible. I hate seeing how dark I am and I feel so insecure. I barely leave my house and I have no self confidence so in the void, I manifested pale skin. and it's such a surreal experience. like to be honest it stills feels so unreal but I feel so pretty now and I'm so grateful. i hate that society did this to me but now i can walk with my head held up high and that's all I've ever wanted. I am really sad thinking about all the pain my skin color caused me and now i am ready to libe my life and love my body. thank you pink for everything, im going to be deleting tumblr now

hi love! first of all, this really upset me and im so sorry about what you went through. honestly, i hate how cultures are so obsessed with fair skin when every skin color is beautiful in its own right. i have more that i want to say against this but i don't want to come off as reprimanding you when your insecurity stems from the unfair treatment society inflicted upon you and if this makes you confident and allows you to be happy, then im just happy for you. also congrats on entering the void and ik, that revision meditation works wonders!! i hope you continue being happy from here on out 💗

[flameswallower]

A while back, in a friendship-ending argument, someone accused me of being persistently "contemptuous" towards him and others. It hurt me, because that's one thing I strongly try not to be unless somebody deserves it, and because I honestly don't feel contemptuous towards most other people most of the time, or believe that's something that really comes through in my manner. Still, in the moment I brushed it off as deflection-- this was an argument where, for once, I was the reasonable, rational person in a fairly clear-cut way, and I had good reason to express exasperation and disappointment with how the other guy was behaving and talking to me. But much later, during an argument with my partner, I asked if they agreed with my ex-friend that I'm a contemptuous person. And they said yes, that comes through very strongly when you get upset, you really judge other people.

So I thought about that, and I think what's happening is a combination of things. One is that deep down, yeah! I am a judgy person in certain ways, and because I normally suppress that and try incredibly hard not to be bitchy or catty or mean, basically ever, it comes out like water from a firehose when I lose control-- and the emotion gets everywhere, there's no discretion around, say, "it's justified to be contemptuous of so-and-so's veiled dog whistle transphobia, but it's really shitty to be contemptuous of someone for being able to control their mental illness less well than you can, or for choosing to live in conditions you deem 'gross'."

Another thing that's happening is, as implied by the second clause, I judge myself extremely harshly. I think that's not always immediately obvious these days because I tend to have a better sense of self-worth than I used to, and because I can get very defensive in the face of harsh criticism or criticism from people I care deeply about. But it's there-- the defensiveness is largely a reaction to it, an attempt to keep me from swinging hard back into "I'm the worst person in the whole world and I deserve to die immediately" thought patterns. One thing about judging yourself harshly, though, is it usually spills out on to other people at least a little bit. Even if consciously your feeling is "well, these rules only apply to ME, I'm the only one who ought to be PERFECT, I have totally different standards for others," that might not be true at all subconsciously. And it boils over, it breeds a sense of resentment towards people who are "allowed" to be flagrantly imperfect in ways you've denied yourself and who demand that other people make room for that imperfection and meet their needs instead of feeling ashamed and trying to erase/undo/hide their needs. The truth is, you have to stop being contemptuous or judgmental towards yourself before you can stop being that way towards others, and I never quite got the trick of it.

...In part because a third thing that's happening is, of course, that my idealized self-image is really bound up in being someone who doesn't judge other people except for actually very harmful/hateful stuff, is open-minded, is tolerant and accepting. I would say "is kind," but I'm not sure how many people think of me or have ever thought of me that way. Still, kindness is very much something I strive for. Yet ultimately, I think this is often more because I want to be a person I would consider beyond reproach, an admirable person, a person who can more or less unproblematically be called "good," than because of genuine compassion and care towards others. And knowing this about myself, how can I not judge myself for it? How can I not insist to myself that I should be a better person, with better motives? How can I let it go? It's one of the things I dislike most in others, in part because it's so dangerous-- I've seen all kinds of awful places caring more about the safety of your self-image as "a good/kind person" than about listening to and empathizing with others can lead.

...and also in part because a fourth thing that's happening is, I feel like other people are constantly, silently judging me, mostly in profoundly negative ways, All Of The Time. I feel like I have to be on the defense against that; it's a kind of dysfunctional hyper-vigilance. Often I find myself formulating counter-arguments in my head to nasty things someone might hypothetically say to and/or about me one day. This is hard to combat because it's simultaneously an insane, exaggeratedly fearful, and honestly pretty egotistical way to think about one's interactions with other people, and also something that's sort of based in reality. In some of the ways I was treated as a child and adolescent. In ways I regularly observe others talking and behaving online. In the fact that I regularly encounter casual hate speech directed at people similar to myself. In the fact that each year I will have a scattered handful of disproportionately upsetting interactions where others are mean to me on the basis of an honest mistake or a trait I can't help having or the way I decide to present myself to the world, or where people I care about jump to conclusions about me in a manner I find really unfair. When I'm in an argument or a loved one is criticizing me, it can feel like, Okay, I already knew you were contemptuous of me, barely tolerating me, I knew it all along, now I'll strike back.

How do I fix this problem with my heart? I don't know. Admitting it is probably the first step. I think a lot of other people also have this problem, and I think most never confront it in a completely honest way, because that's super hard and involves striking an almost impossible balance between being able to make a really harsh, potentially ego-destroying self-evaluation, and being able to have compassion for yourself, and forgive yourself, and be patient with yourself.

[bro-atz]

1024UB CHAPTER FOURTEEN: SO WE AGREE: WE HATE HER

word count: 1.7k

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After their shift ended, Wooyoung and Hongjoong met up with San, Mingi, and Yeosang to hang out. They didn’t know what to do that night, so right after San, Mingi, and Yeosang left 1024UB to meet the other two boys at work, they all went right back to 1024UB. San couldn’t help but feel like he was chaperoning the kids home, and he didn’t want to feel that way until Wooyoung hopped on his back and made him carry him all the way home.

Sometimes, when the guys got together, they would get philosophical. This was definitely not one of those times. The boys were all gathered playing video games, like they usually did, but because they were bored of playing like they usually did, they decided to play in silence— whoever made a noise got a slap on the wrist (Wooyoung wanted to do shots, but he was outvoted). The only things that made noise as they played were the controllers. San found the silence extremely unsettling— the boys were never quiet, so having the apartment be this quiet was very unnatural.

Then, someone’s phone went off. Everyone turned to look at who got the text, who made noise, and saw Wooyoung fearfully take his phone out of his pocket. They all lined up to slap his wrist, only for him to stop them saying, “Guys, wait. It’s Gyu. She wants to go for drinks.”

Still, they all refused to speak. Wooyoung held out his wrist, and they all slapped his wrist before he said, “Okay, but guys, want to go join her?”

“Eh, I don’t really feel like drinking,” Hongjoong said honestly. “I thought she was with Iseul? She said girl’s night out, earlier.”

“Apparently Iseul had to leave because Yunho fucked something up again.”

“Sounds about right,” Yeosang nodded.

“She’s alone right now… and she’s starting to forget how to spell. Maybe we should go,” Mingi leaned over Wooyoung’s shoulder to read the texts.

The general consensus at that point ended up being that they would all keep Gyuri company. During the entire situation, though, San couldn’t help but overthink— why did she text Wooyoung? Why didn’t she text him? Was she mad at him, or was this because she wasn’t sure about his whereabouts?

All of those doubts immediately vanished when the boys met her at the bar. She greeted Wooyoung with a big hug and said, “You ended up getting to come to GNO anyway!”

The boys looked at Gyuri and Wooyoung in confusion, so Hongjoong turned to them and said, “Gyuri and Iseul were at Ze Cafe earlier, and Wooyoung wanted to go for GNO with them, but they said no.”

Everything made sense to San now— they were fine. Everything was fine. That was his inner monologue as they all got their own drinks and did their best to catch up to the level of drunk Gyuri was at. Luckily, it didn’t take long for that to happen.

“Where’s Jongho?” Gyuri asked generally.

“He’s at a game. His season is nowhere close to being over yet,” Mingi sighed. “I miss my roommate.”

“Same,” Hongjoong, Gyuri, San, and Wooyoung all said at the same time.

“Hello? I’m right here?” Yeosang slapped Wooyoung’s shoulder.

“You’re never home!”

“I am! I’m just asleep…”

“That doesn’t count,” Wooyoung sulked.

“I know that Iseul and Yunho pretty much live in the lab, but why do you miss Hwa?” San asked Hongjoong.

“He’s barely home anymore. He’s pretty much spending all of his free time with Bora. Like even now, we asked him to hang out, but he blew us off… probably for Bora,” Hongjoong grimaced.

Out of the corner of his eye, San saw Gyuri flinch. He knew that she wasn’t the biggest fan of her, so hearing this must’ve upset her. He wasn’t close enough to her to pat her back or leg to reassure her, so he just hoped one of the boys would do it for him, though they don’t know why Gyuri would be more upset that they anticipated.

“I still don’t get what Seonghwa sees in her,” Yeosang piped up. “She’s so boring, like what do they even talk about?”

“Beats me. I know I hate her,” Mingi said firmly.

“Hate is a strong word, Mingi,” San was kind of shocked that he shared the same feelings as Gyuri.

“No, I hate her, too. How could she hate movies and music?” Wooyoung added.

“The fact that she thinks movies and music are trivial…” a fire ignited in Hongjoong’s eyes.

“So her personality sucks. He’s only with her because of her looks?” Yeosang asked.

“Seonghwa goes for looks over personality, it seems. It doesn’t seem that hard given who he’s surrounded with,” Wooyoung nodded knowingly.

“Um, ow?!” Gyuri, who was quiet the whole time, finally spoke. “Did you just call me and Iseul ugly?”

“W-what? No, I meant the guys!”

“So we’re one of the guys now?”

“I, Gyu, wait, uh,” Wooyoung was stuttering.

“Wooyoung may not think you’re pretty, but we do,” Hongjoong gave Gyuri a reassuring pat on the head.

The group pushed their way past Wooyoung so that he was not part of the little circle they had formed, and they even did shots without him. San knew that Wooyoung did feel bad and didn’t mean to be, well, mean, so he gave him his shot. Wooyoung grinned and took the shot for San before rejoining the group.

San lost count of how many shots they all had done and how many drinks each of them had, but at one in the morning, he knew was that he, Hongjoong, and Mingi were the only coherent ones. Wooyoung and Yeosang were spending quality time together, San noted, as they hugged each other and slept sitting up (which thoroughly impresses San given how deep a sleep they were in). As for Gyuri? She had two default positions for when she was wasted: one was leaning against a countertop or laying down and acting flirty, and the other was head down and sighing loudly. Tonight was the second one.

“Hey, maybe we should grab the drunk kids and head home?” San interrupted Hongjoong and Mingi, who were drawing up elaborate plans for a music label they wanted to start.

They divided and conquered. Mingi was able to get Yeosang to his feet and supported him as they walked out of the bar, San had Gyuri on his back— he tried to do that with Wooyoung, but drunk Wooyoung was impossible to carry. Hongjoong got stuck with the herculean task of transporting Wooyoung, so he ended up dragging Wooyoung out of the bar by his leg. Before he could drag him along the sidewalk, Wooyoung pushed himself up and hugged Hongjoong from behind, immediately falling asleep. Hongjoong held onto Wooyoung’s arms and continued dragging him.

Luckily, 1024UB was close to the bar they were drinking at. San watched as Hongjoong nearly dropped Wooyoung several times during the short walk home, and Mingi had to help Hongjoong out since San’s hands were full holding a very drunk (and maybe also asleep?) Gyuri.

“You got Gyu, right?” Mingi asked him as they stood in the lobby of 1024UB waiting for the elevators.

“Yep. Do you guys need help with the drunk children?” San asked.

“We’ll manage,” Hongjoong huffed— San wondered if Hongjoong was going to kill Wooyoung that night.

One of the downsides to their nice apartment complex was that the elevator could only really fit four people in at a time. San waved goodbye to Mingi and Hongjoong as they went up first. As San waited for the elevator to return, he couldn’t help but feel like he’d been in that situation before. He definitely had déjà vu the second Gyuri exhaled on his neck, but that immediately changed to curiosity when he heard her start to mutter something in his ear.

“S…”

S? For Seonghwa? San couldn’t help but roll his eyes— she was so whipped for him it was unbelievable. The elevator returned, and San got in. He pressed the button for Gyuri’s floor, and as the doors closed, she whined, “San…”

What? Why did she say his name? Was she going crazy? San couldn’t help but feel a light blush crawl across his face and his fingertips tingle. The elevator moved up, and Gyuri said one more thing, “…Seongsan.”

What the fuck is a Seongsan? The little moment of flattery for San ended as quickly as it arrived. San finally got into her apartment and laid her down on the bed. He, himself, was exhausted, so he wanted to leave as soon as possible, but as he walked away from the bed, he felt her hand grab his lightly.

“Gyu?”

“Hwa…”

Of course. What else was San expecting? He approached her slowly as her grasp on his hand tightened ever so slightly. He brushed her hair back with his free hand and whispered, “Go to bed, Gyu. Get some sleep.”

Those words meant nothing to Gyuri apparently because she pulled San closer to her. He had to put his free hand on the bed next to her head so that he wouldn’t fall on top of her, and that’s when he saw tears in her eyes. She was definitely awake and crying as she said, “Hwa… don’t leave me…”

San felt a sharp pain in his chest. Was he about to have a heart attack? No, definitely not, but why did his heart hurt when he saw Gyuri crying like that? He laid down next to her in the bed and continued brushing her hair out of her face as her grip on his hand loosened. Her hand moved up to his neck and pulled him in close, her lips touching his softly. He let her move at her own pace, and her pace for that night seemed to be light kisses and light kisses only.

There were many thoughts in San’s mind that night. He wondered why he was always there when Gyuri got this drunk, he wondered why he wanted to be there when she got that drunk, and he wondered why he felt more sharp pains in his chest when she pressed her face into the nook of her neck and fell asleep in his arms. Maybe he was having a stroke, or maybe he was having a heart attack, but the only thing he could really do in that moment was continue to hug her and fall asleep with her in his arms.

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1024UB tag list: @dalsuwaha @eyeryis @choisanswifexo @haebaragisworld @dazzlingstarrs @hongjoongswifefr @yjpumas

network: @cromernet

apply here to be part of the taglist!

[lavender-long-stories]

Civilian

Sasuke x Hinata | Rated T - Possible Upsetting | Abandon from my WIP Folder

Hinata was acting weird, hiding bruises. Sasuke had been working with her on and off on missions for the last few months, and it was getting worse. So Sasuke showed up at her door to check on her.

“Anki, you need to go home.” Hinata sighed, opening the door, looking both surprised to see him and frightened. “Sasuke-san, you can’t be here.”

“Who’s Anki?” Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

“He’s a guy…” Hinata looked around him, concerned.

“Boyfriend?” Sasuke flicked his head behind him, wondering what she was looking for. It might be the person who was hiding in the bushes across the street.

“No. I just need you to leave. Please.” Hinata pleaded with him desperately.

“Are you okay?” Sasuke asked seriously.

“Yeah.” Hinata shriveled back, not proving herself very well.

“Hmm?” Sasuke didn’t look so sure.

“Sasuke-san, please leave. I’ll talk to you later.” Hinata assured him, looking nervously around again.

“Yeah,” Sasuke grumbled. 

Hinata closed the door. He stood there for a moment. He kept his eyes on the hiding position of the guy creeping across the street as he rounded the corner. He stepped out of sight and waited. It was not long before the person had come out of his hiding spot and headed for her door.

He knocked on her door. She didn’t open it at first. He knocked again harder. “I know your home!” He shouted.

Hinata opened the door only enough to look out. “Anki, please go home.”

“Who was that?” Anki asked in a low voice.

“He’s a teammate. We work together.” Hinata told him. Her face was hard, but she honestly looked scared.

“So you’re going around behind my back with coworkers now?” Anki accused her. Sasuke was surprised by the change.

“No, he’s not even happy he’s working with me,” Hinata told him. She was firm, but she was faltering. It was clear she was uncomfortable, but it seemed like she was afraid of something. Was this what she had been hiding?

“What did he want?” Anki asked harshly.

“I don’t know,” Hinata told him flatly.

“Don’t lie to me.” Anki pushed on the door. She held it in his place. It didn’t even budge.

“Since you knew he was here, you were watching, and you should know he didn’t say why he was here, and I didn’t ask.” Hinata huffed. “I asked him to leave like I am asking you. At least he listened!” 

Anki shoved against the door. “You invited him!”

“Why would I invite him and tell him to leave? Anki, you need to go home.” Hinata pressed, holding the door in place.

“Hinata, let me in,” Anki growled.

“No. You need to go.” Hinata tried to close the door, but he laid his arm through the door and grabbed her, pulling her arm out of the door around her wrist. “Stop!” She yanked at her arm too weakly to pull it away.

Sasuke knew Hinata could easily level this guy. Why wasn’t she? He had seen enough.

Sasuke rounded the corner, heading back. Before either of them reacted to him, he grabbed one hand on the guy’s neck and threw it back across the street, his back slamming into the wall.

Hinata screeched. “Sasuke-san, stop!”

Hinata grabbed him tight around the arm, with far more force than she had given the guy trying to force his way into her home.

Sasuke turned to glare at her. Why was she taking this shit?

“He’s a civilian!” Hinata squeaked, letting go of him, and ran across the street to care for the man he had just thrown.

“What?” Sasuke blinked at her.

Another extremely old WIP.

The concept was that after working with Hinata for some time Sasuke realizes that something is wrong, when he checks on her, he finds that she is being stalked. She is afraid of turning her stalker in because she doesn't want to look too weak to deal with it but she also knows she can't hurt him to scare him off because he's not a nin.

[twoidiotwriters1]

The Curse of Oenone (Leo Valdez xFem!Oc)

A/N: Funfact! Eros and Psyche are my actual parents and I am their child -Danny Words: 2,182 Series' Masterlist Previous Chapter // Next Chapter Listen to: 'Would've Could've Should've' -by Taylor Swift

XXXVII: I Am So Very Extremely Extraordinarily Normal Right Now

Ara scans the crowd of mortals but no one gives her weird vibes yet, these kids look their age but they're here to enjoy the summer. Ara and her friends are here to fight a war, she envies them.

"Are you gonna tell me what you meant back in the ship or—"

Ara hushes him. "It's not safe."

Nico frowns. "Did you hear Nemesis? Or Janus?"

"No. It felt different," she says dryly. "Like it was threatening to hurt me if I didn't come along."

"Are you seeing this?" Jason points at an ice cream cart.

Nico stops and squints. "Maybe we should buy some ice cream."

Ara studies the appearance of the person Jason has spotted: a young man that reminds her of Leo if Leo were some king of wind spirit: handsome with dark curly hair and large warm-colored wings.

"He's not a returned spirit," Nico says deep in thought. "Or a creature of the Underworld."

"No. I doubt they would eat chocolate-covered ice cream bars," Jason mutters.

"So what is he?" Nico asks.

Ara has a bad feeling about him even if the guy looks harmless. He smiles before vanishing, but Jason can track his aura, so he takes the lead. Ara keeps her grip on Almighty firm and ready.

"I'm betting that's the palace," Jason points to the ruins. "Come on."

Her heart starts beating like crazy, she feels butterflies and her hands get clammy, and the symptoms do not match her usual anxiety, this feels like the kind of nerves she felt seated on the porch swing with Leo, all those months ago in camp.

"We've got to catch him," Jason prepares to fly. "Hold on." 

"But—"

The boy seizes both Nico and Ara and flies them to the other side of the tall walls where there are more tourists, none of those mortals seem to notice them.

"A little warning would be nice!" Ara hisses. "Man, you can't just pick me up like that! Where are we anyway?"

"The peristyle. This was the entrance to Diocletian's private residence." Nico turns to Jason and glares at him. "And please, I don't like being touched. Don't ever grab me again."

Jason looks at both teens, both younger and smaller than him and yet more intimidating than he's comfortable admitting. "Uh, okay. Sorry. How do you know what this place is called?"

"I've been here before," Nico responds quietly. "With my mother and Bianca. A weekend trip from Venice. I was maybe... six?"

"That was when... the 1930s?"

"'Thirty-eight or so," Nico hums. "Why do you care? Do you see that winged guy anywhere?"

"No..." Jason says, eyeing the boy intently.

Ara's used to being the bad guy in Nico's eyes, and at this point, she doesn't care about upsetting him further, so she voices what Jason is thinking. "I think it's impressive that you've retained information of such an old memory, considering all you've been through."

Jason doesn't want them to fight when he's the only one around to stop them. "I agree, can't imagine how weird that must be, coming from another time."

"No, you can't," Nico snaps. Ara clears her throat, reminding him they've made a deal. The boy relaxes a bit. "Look... I don't like talking about it. Honestly, I think Hazel has it worse. She remembers more about when she was young. She had to come back from the dead and adjust to the modern world. Me... me and Bianca, we were stuck at the Lotus Hotel. Time passed so quickly. In a weird way, that made the transition easier."

"Percy told me about that place," Jason nods. "Seventy years, but it only felt like a month?"

Nico clenches his fist. "Yeah. I'm sure Percy and Ara told you all about me."

"Yeah, and how much of a nuance you are," Ara replies sarcastically. "I'm planning to kill you as soon as you're done helping us."

"That's not funny," Jason gives her a look.

"No, it's not," Ara agrees heatedly. "It's ridiculous that he thinks we're always trying to make him look bad in front of—"

"Well, you had no problem talking shit about me to Lily."

"That's not—"

"Roman dead are everywhere here..." Nico interrupts her, walking away. "Lares. Lemures. They're watching. They're angry. We shouldn't stay here for long."

"They're looking at us?" Jason tenses, reaching for his sword and kind of glad to have a way to derail the argument.

"At everything." Nico points ahead. "That used to be a temple to Jupiter. The Christians changed it to a baptistery. The Roman ghosts don't like that. And over there... That was the mausoleum of the emperor."

"But his tomb isn't there anymore," Jason responds.

"Not for centuries," Nico agrees. "When the empire collapsed, the building was turned into a Christian cathedral."

Jason swallowed. "So if Diocletian's ghost is still around here—"

"He's probably not happy."

Jason nudges her arm. "That way. The winged guy. Where do you think those stairs lead?"

"Underground," Nico smiles coldly. "My favorite place."

As they enter the passageway, Ara thinks about stuff she hasn't thought of in ages. It could be Athena's blessing, but she's thinking about how ephemeral the world she comes from is. One day it's there, then it's just a fun tourist attraction falling to pieces.

Her dreams, none of that will go anywhere. In the end, she'll die, and all that was precious to her will become ruins. It's pointless. Even her laurel wreath, given to her as a tribute to her sacrifices, will get buried under debris at some point. Nothing matters.

"Ara?"

The girl gives a start. "Sorry, what?"

"The note," Jason tells her. "I asked if you could give it to me, I think this is a good place."

Ara draws out the note from her Octopi bag and hands it to him, he leaves it under a bust of Diocletian.

"Okay, that's done," Ara takes a deep breath, shaken by her disheartening thoughts. "Can we—"

"Hello!" Out of instinct, Jason cuts the statue's head. Ara pulls out Almighty too, finding the wind spirit they'd been following right behind them. "That wasn't very nice," he says. "I mean, what did Diocletian ever do to you?"

The statue fixes itself, and Jason glances at it before turning to the young man. "Uh—It was an accident. You startled me."

"Jason Grace, the West Wind has been called many things... Warm, gentle, life-giving, and devilishly handsome. But I have never been called startling. I leave that crass behavior to my gusty brethren in the north." The guy grins.

"The West Wind?" Nico takes a step forward. "You mean you're—"

"Favonius," Jason states. "God of the West Wind."

"You can call me by my Roman name, certainly, or Zephyros, if you're Greek. I'm not hung up about it."

"Why aren't your Greek and Roman sides in conflict, like the other gods?" Nico frowns.

"Oh, I have the occasional headache—Some mornings I'll wake up in a Greek chiton when I'm sure I went to sleep in my SPQR pajamas. But mostly the war doesn't bother me. I'm a minor god, you know—never really been much in the limelight. The to-and-fro battles among you demigods don't affect me as greatly."

Ara eyes him, his presence makes her uneasy. "And you're here to talk about...?"

"The sarcophagus of Diocletian," he answers. "This was its final resting place. The Christians moved it out of the mausoleum. Then some barbarians destroyed the coffin. I just wanted to show you that what you're looking for isn't here. My master has taken it."

Ara gets a gut reaction that makes her knees buckle. Her back hits the wall, this is far from good.

"Your master?" Jason asks in alarm. "Please tell me your master isn't Aeolus."

"That airhead? No, of course not," he laughs.

"He means Eros," Nico points out. "Cupid, in Latin."

"Very good, Nico di Angelo. I'm glad to see you again, by the way. It's been a long time."

"I've never met you," he steps back scowling.

"You've never seen me, but I've been watching you. When you came here as a small boy, and several times since. I knew eventually you would return to look upon my master's face." He turns to Ara, his smile growing. "He has kept an eye on you too, Princess of Troy."

Ara's grip tightens around her sword, and Nico is starting to look uneasy as well.

Jason looks at them. "Guys, what's he talking about?"

"I don't know. Nothing," Nico says anxiously.

"Nothing? The one you care for most... plunged into Tartarus, and still you will not allow the truth?"

"That's enough," Ara intervenes in a harsh and demanding tone. "My brother has no business keeping that scepter, we need it."

Favonius tilts his head. "You know, long before this was Diocletian's Palace, it was the gateway to my master's court, so you see, it is very much all over his business. I've dwelt here for eons, bringing those who sought love into the presence of Cupid."

"Like Psyche, Cupid's wife," Jason offers. "You carried her to his palace."

"Your favorite myth, daughter of Olympus," Favonius grins. "You know, your brother was always quite flattered. From this exact spot, I carried Psyche on the winds and brought her to the chambers of my master. In fact, that is why Diocletian built his palace here. This place has always been graced by the gentle West Wind. It is a spot of tranquility and love in a turbulent world. When Diocletian's Palace was ransacked—"

"If Eros has the scepter and you're here to let us know," Ara interrupts him again, "that means he's willing to hand it to us?"

"It is one of Cupid's many treasures, a reminder of better times. If you want it..." Favonius looks at her and Nico intently. "You must face the god of love."

"Guys, you can do this," Jason says, oblivious to why this freaks them out. "It might be embarrassing, but it's for the scepter."

"You're right," Nico attempts to look brave. "I—I'm not afraid of a love god."

Nothing in this world terrifies Ara nearly as much as love does. Real love—the one that claws at your insides and brings you to your knees—breaks, wounds, and changes you. Love destroyed Nico's youthful spirit. Love took young, gullible Ara, and ate away every bit that was sweet and tender. Nemesis has no other face but Ara's, because she can only hurt love when she hurts herself.

Favonious's gaze brightens at Nico's words. "Excellent! Would you like a snack before you go? Oh, bluster—I keep forgetting my symbol is a basket of unripe fruit. Why doesn't the spring wind get more credit? Summer has all the fun." He makes a face.

"That's okay," Nico urges him. "Just take us to Cupid."

They land on solid ground and Ara crashes against Nico, he catches her before she falls.

"Yes, mortal bodies are terribly bulky," Favonius hums when he sees their conditions. "Honestly, I don't know how you stand it, day in and day out."

Ara moves away from Nico and steadies her breathing, she doesn't know what Eros will force upon them, but she refuses to look frightened. This is the one monster she's been wanting to fight for years.

"Welcome to Salona. Capital of Dalmatia! Birthplace of Diocletian! But before that, long before that, it was the home of Cupid—Oh, he's not like that," the god says of nowhere.

Jason gives a start. "You can read my mind?"

"I don't need to," the man shrugs, playing with a bronze hoop he's been carrying the whole time. "Everyone has the wrong impression of Cupid... until they meet him. This one seems to be the only one who knows what she's about to face," he points at Ara.

Ara looks around waiting to spot Eros somewhere. Beside her Nico stumbles onto a column, the anxiety of the moment seems to be weighing on him.

"Ah... I don't blame you for being nervous, Nico di Angelo. Do you know how I ended up serving Cupid?"

"I don't serve anyone," Nico growls. "Especially not Cupid."

Favonius sighs. "I fell in love with a mortal named Hyacinthus. He was quite extraordinary."

"He...?" Jason pauses. "Oh..."

"Yes, Jason Grace." Favonius turns to him. "I fell in love with a dude. Does that shock you?"

"I guess not. So... Cupid struck you with his arrow, and you fell in love."

"Jason, be quiet." Ara is freaking out, her mouth is drying, and she knows what this god is insinuating.

The god grins. "Arae Jackson, you were an Aphrodite once, but now you're not fond of love..."

"I'd get along with him just fine if he'd leave me alone," she grumbles.

"Oh, but it isn't his fault, not really. He used his arrows on you, yes, but the arai were the ones who got carried away with you. My master has tried to help, but well, love can't fight itself!"

"Ara, what is he—"

"It doesn't matter," she responds with a fiery gaze. "It doesn't mean he isn't enjoying my pain. He's worse than our Mother."

"Perhaps," the god smirks. "But right now, he's one of the few gods willing to lighten your burden. You want to save your friends, don't you? Make up for what you can't stop from happening."

"Eros!" Ara calls out impatiently.

The air shifts and speeds up around them. Favonius sighs. "That would be my cue. Think long and hard about how you proceed. You cannot lie to Cupid. If you let your anger rule you... well, your fate will be even sadder than mine."

Next Chapter –>

Taglist.

@siriuslysirius1107 @ask-giggles1303 @asnyox-the-hoarder @im-planning-something-look @bandshirts-andbooks @coolninjapaper @thewaterlily @whenisthefall @1randomcomic @you-bloody-shank @sunflowergraves @owlalex44 @taylordaughter @typicalsolangelolover @writingmia @espressopatronum454 @slytherinnqueen @orbitingpolaris @obxstiles @ellipsisspelled @thepixiechicksh @ebony-reine-vibes

[hollyhomburg]

im gonna talk about non-bily things for just a second before i start responding but- obviously I am usually the most sympathetic and understanding person when it comes to mental health, like i really fucking am- i think i have a pretty good handle on understanding it with most people- but my cousins girlfriend is getting a little ridiculous with the accommodations she's asking for and im starting to get suspect of her in a serious way.

Yesterday every single time i suggested something, even simple stuff like going on a walk, she was too /anxious/ for it. And like you know- i get it, i am also anxious. i also have ptsd and agoraphobia. But as the day went on everything i suggested got shot down like immediately. and everything she wanted to do was like /the biggest priority/.

I am totally willing to accommodate people for mental health issues, like always. But if you have say, a phobia of fish that is going to make you have a panic attack, you wouldn’t follow your boyfriend on a fishing trip? right?

She kept whining about her medication and not taking it and i'm like dude- i am all for finding what works for you and learning how to self soothe, but at the same time if you are someone who /needs/ to be medicated to take a boat ride- then you need to take that medication. it's kinda like getting sick and not wanting to take antibiotics, it's not like negotiable. You have tools available to you, use them.

At this point i feel like she's not taking it just to kinda keep my cousin waiting on her by hand and foot because it feels like every time we're just like- hanging out about to do something fun- she's like "nooooooo it's toooo much, i'm anxious about that." i don't know i think if i was in her position (and i have been in her position) you just say "hey i'm gonna go self soothe for a second you guys do your thing" like that would be the normal reaction, not to control him.

i'm over it at this point. i have suffered my entire life through the same issues and yet i do believe there is a line between letting it affect you and letting it affect a virtual stranger. i have met her like twice before this trip. i just wanna hang out with my fucking cousin without her controlling everything for two seconds.

last night my cousin walked me home cuz it was late and dark and the woods gets really fucking scary at night, this is very usual for us he's walked me home every night we've hung out since i was like 7, and she got all upset that we were gonna go without her, it was like 11. like we were all gonna go to bed and she could have easily just stayed back it was gonna take 10 minutes max for him to walk me. but of course she had to come, Only to make him turn around when we were 1/4 of the way home because she got anxious. At this point i'm extremely suspicious that it's just a jealousy thing, because West is honestly like one of my og besties, like we have great hang outs and i think she feels threatened by that and stops us and re-directs his focus back to her whenever he forgets she's there.

And now she doesn't even want to go for a hike today when that was the whole reason why he like fucking visited cuz i was gonna show him a fossil hunting spot before they move to hawaii and ugh. i am usually very very against judging people based off of their mental health struggles and how it affects them but at this point....i'm judging her a little. This has been more than a little frustrating.

[lex9923]

‘Honestly doesn’t seem worth it with the absence of willingness to hear what I have to say.’

My guy. I can’t imagine why people wouldn’t want to hear what you have to say.

First of all, your initial tweet was worded poorly, so you can’t fault people for misinterpreting your intentions (though you never did actually clarify outside of “criticizing both sides of the culture”). It is extremely hard to decipher tone and intention on social forums, but even more so for neurodivergent people; I am one of those people and was confused why you’d wait 8 months to say something about this. I still am not sure what your intentions were nor what the tone of the video was going to be. Glad I won’t have to find out.

Secondly, “I’m a public figure and people have discussed my trauma publicly” and they shouldn’t have. It’s fucked up to talk about another’s trauma at their expense for your own gain. They should be allowed to discuss it on their own terms, in whatever way they see fit. You did that and are trying to move on. Dream did just that and is now trying to move on. As is everyone else. Reopening old wounds, wounds that are still fairly fresh will only cause more harm. Just because people have done it to you, doesn’t give you the go-ahead to do it to another person. No one should be discussing your trauma, his trauma or any trauma that isn’t their own.

I appreciate you listening to the criticisms and stopping the video before it started, however; this new tweet comes across as a little bit whiny and misguided. It seems like you’re whining that people are upset that you considered making a video about someone else’s trauma without actually hearing why people were upset. ‘People were saying I wouldn’t want it done to me’ they were. Cause, again. It’s fucked up for others to discuss something that affected your livelihood, mental health, and career so deeply. Some do it better than others, but it’s still fucked up.

But you’re still failing to understand your situation and dreams were on two totally different severities. Talking about it now would cause a massive hate train, yet again, when it’s not needed. His house address was trending nearly daily, his younger sister (who, if I’m not mistaken, was still a minor at the time of the first allegations), parents, and even grandparents were drug into it- and they are not public figures (therefore making that argument null). You had to face reveal (and I’m incredibly sorry that the opportunity to do it on your terms was ripped from you because of some fucked up individual), whereas people were telling Dream to off himself. You received an incredible amount of respect in others responses, before you cleared your name, and now even after. He never got that, and still hasn’t. You’re still treating this with a lack of understanding, as if someone’s life wasn’t severely affected by it, when it’s someone else’s trauma you were going to “dissect”.

If you hadn’t waited 8 months, people might be more inclined to listen. However, dreams trying to move on, the fandom is trying to move on, everyone involved is trying to move on; why can’t you? Why do you think waiting 8 months to discuss a trauma that isn’t yours is okay? Why did you think it was going to be received positively, especially after your poorly worded tweet?

Dream was a victim of false allegations and a smear campaign. You were also a victim of false allegations. Both situations are horrible, but to compare apples to oranges is incredulous. I haven’t seen many people mention your situation, and that happened months before dreams. Yet, people still bring up dreams. The situations are not comparable and should not be discussed by you or him or anyone else. Your trauma is your trauma. His trauma is his trauma. Thats where it should stay.

People are going to talk, and that sucks. I would hope that since you have been through the same situation, you’d be a little more empathetic as to why it took dream so long to respond (he was under legal advice not to say anything). This just comes off like you never actually watched his video or if you did, you didn’t listen. You heard, but you weren’t listening.

I’m so tired of people discussing things that aren’t theirs to talk about, and further hurting others in the process (I’m referring to all commentary videos on both situations here but since you’ve experienced something similar, I’m calling you out directly in the entirety of this post). Leave this be. Don’t go reopening wounds that have just started to heal- for you and for him.

I’m so disappointed in the continuous lack of empathy shown by you toward him. Do better.

That’s all I’m going to say. Hopefully, this doesn’t become a thing, and it ends here.

[youngveinsworld]

quotes from a fan's recap of the young veins' show in atlanta, georgia on 24 march 2010

we had a lot of trouble focusing on the other bands playing because Ryan and Jon decided to watch part of the other bands’ sets sidestageish, which resulted in a bunch of rabid fangirls giving us the play by play of everything that they were doing. “Omg, he touched his hair, OH MY GOD, HE TUCKED IT BEHIND HIS EAR.”

Jon caught me taking a creeper picture of him while he was leaned down setting up his stuff. I was only mildly appalled at the fact that I got caught, but he just smiled and held it for my camera:

they had a really great set. The banter between the guys was really funny and entertaining, even though both Nicks and Andy didn’t really say much during the set.

I can’t remember which song they did this before, it may have been Capetown, but I could be wrong: Ryan: We have a new album coming out called Take a Vacation. You can tell them more about it, Jon, while I fix my guitar. Jon: We have a new album coming out called Take a Vacation. It’s coming out June 8th; there are eleven songs on it. We made it awhile ago. Ryan: Well, that's really boring, not exciting at all. Jon: I'm just reading it off the Wikipedia page, we have it pulled up back there.

Jon sang lead on two songs, before he sang lead on the second Ryan intro’d him as singing lead vocals. It went something like this: Ryan: Jon’s going to sing lead on this next one. Crowd: -semi silent- Jon: WHOOOOOOO GO JON!

I am now prepared to eat my words about Ryan Ross’ voice. His live vocals are really good. I actually prefer him live to any of the recorded songs that I’ve heard so far. I was pleasantly surprised that my ears did in fact NOT bleed at any point during their set. I found myself really enjoying his voice. I also loved the harmonies that they had going during Defiance.

We ran into Jon at the merch table and got to talk to him for a bit about Panic, the new album, and a bunch of other shit that I can’t remember. It was all a fucking blur, honestly. I actually feel a bit sad that I told him that I wasn’t expecting much out of them when I first got to the venue. His face looked a bit like this :( after I said that, but I followed up by telling him how completely blown away I was by their set and the new music, his face proceeded to change into this :D

We also talked about the split with Panic. Me: Panic was really my favorite band, I was really upset after you guys split, but I think that after hearing you guys play live, I’m glad the band split because now we’re going to have two incredible bands instead of just one. Jon: Yeah, I’m sad that it happened. I really loved playing with those guys and we made some really great music together. But you know, it just had to happen. Me: I actually think I may like Take a Vacation more than what you guys did while you were in Panic. Jon: -high five- That’s so great! I’m glad that you like the new stuff that we’re doing.

We talked for a few more minutes about random shit then we decided to go ahead and head out. My friend asked for a hug which he was totally into, he was a hugging machine that night. I’m not really into the whole, hugging band members thing, so I was ready to leave then Jon was like \o/ (that’s suppose to be open arms) at me, so who am I to refuse a hug from Jon Walker? No one that’s who!

After seeing the live show, I’m actually really glad that the band split. Ryan and Jon both seemed extremely happy. I wish that those of you who are still bitter about the split could have been at the show and had the chance to see the sheer joy they had on their faces while they played. All the guys are extremely humble and grateful. Jon was incredibly easy to talk to and he seemed a lot more at ease in that setting than at both of the Panic meet and greets I’ve had. Nick Murray and Jon actually thanked us 94582085 times for coming to show.

– original Livejournal post – Nicole's Flickr account

[buggledy]

Please continue liking/reblogging my silly posts I'm gonna vent about the two things going horribly wrong in my life rn because I can't talk about either of them publicly without making people very mad or uncomfortable.

ONE

I've been working on this collaborative project with some online... "friends" to some extent for about 2 months now. The deadline for my portion was mid-August. I am going on vacation this Saturday, I'm going to see Sarah Squirm 3 hours away on the 21st, and my irl friends who were involved in my portion return to school on the 19th. Naturally, I filmed it in early July and turned my cut in on the 19th A FULL MONTH BEFORE THE DEADLINE, AND BEFORE MY FRIENDS GO BACK TO SCHOOL. After several days, my "producers" (who aren't fucking paying me, this is a passion project. I don't think they should be using that title.) Finally said "Hey, we like your cut, but we have some small advice," and promised to get me on a call that week. It's been 10 days. I have *almost* no time to do reshoots, and I'll probably have to re-edit WHILE I'M AT THE BEACH, FOR A PROJECT I'M NOT BEING PAID FOR. And my cut is fine. I don't mind changing things, and it's not great (but at least on par with most of what they've done before...) but it's not so heinously bad that it *has* to be "fixed." I have told them my timeline, several times. There are likely to be continuity issues because it's 19 DAYS SINCE I FILMED ANYTHING AND MY HAIR GROWS FAST. Based on the little they've said, the pacing is gonna be FUCKED after I "fix" it. I'm so upset because I have historically liked these guys before, and I never wanna talk to them again at this point. Not to mention, I *HATE* dragging my real friends into this. They don't deserve it. They also aren't being paid. Very disenchanted by this whole thing. Like it's been so long that I consider the project finished. They are asking me to drag out a corpse and give it a makeover. AND I HAVE OTHER SHIT I WANNA GET STARTED ON BUT I'M STUCK IN THIS GODDAMN PURGATORY. Supposedly, they're gonna call this evening but idk how that's gonna go.

TWO

I had this friend. About 3 years ago, she reached the conclusion that I was obsessed with her and ended our friendship. Maybe she was right. I had a crush, sure, but what's obsessed? Maybe I'm just too autistic to know where the line is drawn as far as "feelings" go, beats the fuck outta me. It was early July, so naturally this is really the only time of year I think about her anymore. Besides passing references, simply because I refuse to gadlight myself into forgetting the good memories she just so happens to be in. This makes everyone around me uncomfortable, and they refuse to humor conversations the moment her name comes up. Hence why I have to talk about this here. I'm over her, but I miss talking to her every once in a while. She's cool. I have no idea what she thinks of me these days, thus, a problem arises. My friend & his boyfriend (the irl friends from the previous story) are moving back to the city she lives in within the year, and I'll return to my tradition of visiting them about once a month. Here's the thing: I feel antagonized in that city. Like I'm under constant surveillance by some secret society waiting for a perfect moment to hurt me (emotionally that is, this isn't like... extreme paranoia talking.) And thus, this is no longer an early July funk. She's on my mind a lot. I wish I could just walk up to her (or even message her, I'm still blocked) and be like "I'm coming to this city again. Once a month. We've gotta either hash this shit out, or agree to fully ignore each other in the event we encounter each other in public." But honestly, I just wish I could forget it. I wanna stop thinking about her, and being sad, and occasionally seeing her in dreams. I'd love to never have to think about her again, but my personality simply doesn't allow.

THREE

So also my grandpa died last year and his birthday is in July, so that's not been helping. Sometimes I'm a little overwhelmed by my friends because now that they know I'm never busy, they sometimes spontaneously ask me to hang out all day and that can be a lot. I'm also in the process of moving which is stressful enough, but I hate my current living situation so I wish I could just do it but honestly I don't expect to be in the new place by the end of the year.

Anyway, I like to drink liquor and all this shit is starting to make that a minor problem 👍

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Ok so this happened 6 years ago now. For background I had a friend I’ll call Sarah (F20 at the time), who I have been best friends with for almost 10 years. We knew each other super well and hung out all of the time, but because we went to different undergrad universities, we hung out the most in the summer. At her university, she made lots of friends, and one was this very outgoing, overly-friendly, boisterous guy who I will call Ted (M20 at the time). He was one of those people who poured compliments onto people and honestly also acted pretty unhinged. Kind of a hypnotic person to be around. Since Ted and Sarah hung out so often and became so close, I started to hang out with him too and thought of him as a friend.

Near the end of my junior year of undergrad, Ted came to my university to hang out with me a bit and also see his old high school friend Brandon (M20 at the time). I didn’t know Brandon, but thought I’d join them for lunch. After meeting him and hanging out, we all began to hang out more that summer. Sarah, Ted, Brandon and I would meet up a lot and honestly do some really fun stuff.

It became apparent that Ted had a huge long-term crush on Brandon. But Brandon did not have those types of feeling back. Brandon is also bisexual but just didn’t feel that way towards Ted. It actually made him visibly uncomfortable with Ted would come onto him, but he seemed to push past it because they were close friends, had been through so much together, and he genuinely enjoyed being in this group.

As the summer progressed, Brandon and I became close. We hung out more and more one-on-one and honestly I really started to feel attracted to him. After my boyfriend and I broke up, Brandon asked me out soon after.

When we told Ted and Sarah one night that Brandon and I had started dating, Ted ran out of the house seriously upset. He wouldn’t respond to us and Sarah said he would calm down eventually. We all left and it was awkward. The next day Sarah had talked to Ted and it was apparent that they were both really upset with Brandon and I - especially me for some reason. They said what we did was hurtful and they thought I was being irresponsible. I tried to talk with them and figure out how to fix the friendship, but they wouldn’t talk to me.

One day, Sarah finally agreed to go on a walk with me. She explained that Ted was really upset and felt betrayed and hurt and she thought maybe eventually he would heal from it. But he never did. And Sarah, after almost a decade of friendship, would not return my texts or calls.

Fast forward 6 years later - Sarah and Ted still have not tried to reach out, even though I’ve apologized multiple times and tried to get them to talk with me. Things got a bit complicated more by COVID, but even so it’s been minimal response. I feel like I was booted out for no good reason and feel extremely hurt that my best friend dropped me so suddenly for this other friend. It really hurt to lose them, and I am still very confused by the extreme reaction.

And Brandon and I are still together. We’re getting married soon and I love him very much. It’s weird that Sarah won’t be at the wedding because as teenagers I would tell her that she would be my maid of honor. Feels like a big hole now that will never get filled or repaired.

Anyways, I wanted to get a consensus on if I was the asshole here. Obviously it doesn’t feel like it to me - I feel confused and hurt. Mostly by Sarah because I wasn’t as close to Ted.

What are these acronyms?

[http-byler]

okay listen. I spent like 40 minutes ranting about this to someone who could care less TODAY so I feel like I gotta put it on here too bc at least you guys will care…

Mike was SO outta pocket with that snide little “she didn’t look fine” comment and I think it speaks to all the relationship problems between him & El. and to preface, I am a Mike defender til I die so this doesn’t come from a place of Mike hate/slander. that comment was just so unnecessary and petty in its delivery.

you can tell that it was just him being upset about El lying to him and not about Angela because even Will gives him a look like “wtf are you doing”. everyone else is trying to make El feel better because they know her and they know she needed that reassurance. and I’m not convinced that Mike doesn’t know the gravity of the situation for El. he JUST saw the horrific bullying she’s had to deal with and Will told him that it’s been going on the entire time. so it’s completely hypocritical of him to praise her for humiliating Troy, and even going as far as to break his arm, for bullying Mike & Dustin. why is it okay for her to use violence to stand up to his bullies, but not her own?

he knows the answer and we all know the answer. he’s just upset that she lied to him! because now he’s like, embarrassed and everything he thought he knew just, wasn’t true. his relationship for the past six months has been solely through letter correspondence, and he’s just found out that all of it was fake (or at least, that’s the extreme I think his dramatic ass would take it too). Friends Don’t Lie. that’s one of, if not, the first things he told El about friendships. and yet, in s3 he’s the one to lie to her! so again, were at a stand still because he’s mad at El for something he allows himself to do.

ultimately, what I took away from that comment and their subsequent fight scene is that they love each other, just not the way that they feel like they should.

El’s basis for relationships is based on fantasy. she learned about romantic relationships from tv shows and movies, never learning what a real relationship should be like! Mike’s basis for relationships is his parents’ marriage and his friends’ parents marriage (as well as entertainment media). we can see just how little he knows about relationships throughout s3 when Lucas has to walk him through every single aspect of it, even the concept of an “olive branch”. and honestly, it’s not bad or wrong of them to not have a good level of understanding about romantic relationships! they’re kids! even Lucas and Max, who are established as the couple who does understand romantic relationships, get it wrong sometimes.

because they don’t have a grasp on what makes a romantic relationship work, they end up jeopardizing their platonic relationship as well! because I believe they do love each other, I just think it’s platonic! they’ve been through so much together, and I think a lot of Mike’s feelings that he believes are romantic are actually just a feeling of relief that she’s still there. he watched her “die” and he had to deal with the grief of her death for a year. having her back, that feeling of joy at her being alive and the fear of losing her again, it’s all such strong emotions! emotions one could mistake for romantic feelings. especially in a time where men and women were expected to date and not “just be friends”.

as for El, she might have romantic feelings for Mike. it’s hard to tell sometimes if she really feels the love for him she says she does, or if that’s just her going through the motions of what she has seen portrayed. because in season one, Mike is the one to kiss her, and she is understandably surprised by this (though not upset by it). but then she disappears for a year and in that time she watches movies and shows about romance. they teach her what that kiss means and how she should act with someone she likes romantically. so when they meet again in s2, she leans in as well and this time, she knows what she’s supposed to do. and I don’t doubt that she feels differently about Mike than she does about the rest of the party members. he was the one to take her in and he was kind to her and respected her before the other boys were/did. it makes sense that their relationship is set apart from the rest of the party. but that doesn’t make it inherently romantic.

their fundamental relationship problem stems from not knowing each other. they love each other so much, and they would (they have) risked their lives for each other. But! they don’t really know anything about each other and don’t necessarily share the same interests. El doesn’t know that much about Mike as a person, but she still knows a hell of a lot more about him than he does about her. she doesn’t know that much about herself.

s3 showed us just how much of her life revolves around the men in it (hop, brenner, mike). Max was integral to El’s storyline for an abundance of reasons but the s3 storyline has got to be the most important. she’s the first person to tell her that she is her own person and that she can make her own decisions about who she is. and we’ve seen her smile and laugh a couple times in the show, but that montage was the most fun we’ve seen El have ever in the show. nothing dampens the mood and she’s learning what SHE likes and who SHE is outside of the box she’s been shoved into her whole life. and it’s only for a day. then reality sets back in and she’s sudden thrust into the role of protector again. that silly, happy, pre-teen girl we just saw is gone in a flash. she’s still figuring out who she is and it’s impossible for Mike to know her if she doesn’t know herself.

in the place of knowing each other well, they put each other on this unreachable pedestal that makes them feel inferior in their own relationship. El is “Superman” to Mike. he believes that he’s “just some random nerd” and that he got lucky that he found El. he has no idea how harmful that ideology is to her and to himself. and he hasn’t even really learned his lesson. he put her on a pedestal and was upset when she fell. and yet, he puts her right back up there, expecting a different result. she doesn’t want to be some superhero, she wants to be a normal teenage girl, she wants to be someone outside of the powers she had/has. and she reminds him that she’s not a “superhero”, as least not anymore, but in the Van he expresses the same sentiment to Will because he thinks so highly of her anyway. he bases so much of his self worth on being needed and helpful that his self esteem is practically on the damn floor. it makes it impossible for him to connect with her about insecurities because he feels like his are true and hers aren’t. he IS some random nerd and she’s NOT scary or abnormal.

now El, she sees mike as this, righteous guy who is so good in his heart that he’d never do the things she’s done. she’s put him on a pedestal as well, though it’s not as dramatic as Mike’s. she wants to impress him, make him like her more because he is good. hop is gone and brenner was literally her abuser, all she has now is Mike and she wants his validation. she wants him to believe everything is going great and that she is normal and good and everything she think he is. she doesn’t want to be spiteful or angry or violent or bad. she doesn’t want to be feared. and Mike was the first person to make her feel that way. he’s one of the only people that can still make her feel that way (besides the Byers now probably). so telling him those lies made her feel like she could still be normal. as long as Mike believes it, then maybe it can be true. but eventually, he finds out the truth, and now she’s realized (she thinks) she “doesn’t belong anywhere”.

they don’t feel comfortable enough with each other to show who they really are or express their insecurities. that’s where their relationship really fissures. so unless s5 really reworks the entire foundation of their relationship I just don’t think they can come back from all that. even after Mike’s monologue! because that monologue can still be true as a completely platonic thing. he loves her, and he can’t lose her, he’s not lying! but I don’t think it’s enough to save their relationship.

especially because the things they want from each other can be fulfilled by other people.

Hop is back, all the love and validation she needs can be provided by her family. romantic love isn’t necessarily what she needs, she just needs someone to love her for who she is, and they do.

Will accepts, understands, and loves Mike for all that he is. his good parts and his bad. and Mike feels comfortable with Will too, he seeks him out to talk about his feelings and insecurities.

the things they want so badly in their relationship with each other aren’t being met, and they could get it from other sources. so in conclusion, I believe their relationship is over for good and that Mike is a complex and flawed character who is still learning how to be himself and love himself.