#( not really more like so ppl can block it )
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Would you guys want me to post fanfics on here if they're still monster romance?? I asked this before for a one-shot and people said yes but this would be a long series I'd be posting weekly so I feel like I should gauge interest again.
#I really love this thing but i don't want to clog up ppls feeds if they're not into it#ig people could just block the story tag if they didn't want to see it#anyways if yall did want it it would start going up in about a week and some change#Part of me rlly wants to post it here just to make other ppl excited about my favorite boy lol#I hate the way the polls make you type a question#like I just added a paragraph of context I don't need any more lol#also its kind of a dubiously monstrous subject but he's inhuman and deeply offputting so I'm counting him and no one can stop me#also it would be Cole from dragon age fanfic I maybe should have mentioned this
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really not loving this trend lately of acting like shaving makes you a disgrace to the whole fucking queer community
like we really went from "not shaving is totally fine and good, body hair is completely natural & not gross" (correct) to "shaving is disgusting and unnatural, why would you do that to you body" (hmmm sounds kinda familiar) & even "its literally impossible to have dysphoria or sensory issues due to body hair/want to shave for any reason other than to appeal to patriarchal beauty standards & anyone who says they do is lying" (real, actual things i have seen people say, what in the god damn)
you can shave your face you can shave your head but as soon as its below the neck suddenly shaving is some sort of unforgivable crime. god forbid someone doesnt like the way it feels when their clothes rub against every little fucking hair. god forbid they dont like how it holds in sweat. god forbid they dont like how it holds in heat. god forbid they dont fucking like how it looks on them.
like. is the word "choice" not in peoples fucking vocabulary or something
#like all fucking love and respect for ppl who dont shave keep doing your thing especially women ESPECIALLY trans women & intersex women#i see u i love u dont let anyone give u shit for ur body hair or facial hair for that matter#but man. as a transmasc person who shaves Basically Everywhere for a VARIETY of reasons. some ppl are really getting on my last damn nerve#you are not morally superior for not owning a fucking razor.#honestly i think being transmasc is a big PART of why this shit bugs me so much this whole fucking mentality of like#''ummm ew how can u be male(-adjacent) without body hair'' like do you fucking HEAR yourself??#NEVER FUCKING MIND that i have pcos & would already have more body & facial hair than the average afab person WITHOUT being on t#DONT try to start shit on this post i will not acknowledge it i will block your ass and move on with my day
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beware my wine rants
#hi im back and experimenting#ive had the gnarliest art block for the past like month and a half sorry! i made this to try to break out of it#for more context this happened on the night we got drunk and watched spiderman 2 (2004) and i looked up the soundtrack afterwards#and fell down a rabbithole bc switchfoot is on it#my dad used to listen to contemporary christian radio (probably still does) so i heard a lot of the more popular Christian hits of the 2000s#also christian stations will play what the fuck ever sometimes if a song can be read in even a little bit of a christian way#idk how christian the fray is (ig they did make 'you found me' but.) but ive heard 'how to save a life' on christian stations#and theres plenty of like. really lowkey christian bands. like switchfoot! and relient k!#most ppl alive in the 00s have probably heard 'dare you to move' just in nature. and christian stations loved that one#newsboys is on that spectrum somewhere i think. they did 'belly of the whale' for the Jonah a veggietales movie#and the dvd bonus features include the music video for that plus the video for 'a million pieces' which doesnt feel overtly christian to me#anyway! i hope everyone likes this vertical format! and the coloring. im still trying to adjust my style for that part#when csp says 'brightness' it does not nean 'color value' which is an issue for my new method#but yknow its a learning curve#furry#queer artist#smth smth#queer comics#trans artist
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steroids have decided the two emotions for tonight are Gamer Rage and Deep Yearning Sadness
#marzi speaks#marzivents#i think i’ve sort of hit an energy limit tonight and it’s frustrating me. if i had to guess#probs mourning some of the energy and capability i used to have that i have to build back now#which is. manifesting at being angry that i’m rusty at splatoon lmao#sighhhh. i’m handling the concept of being disabled relatively well i think but shit is still hard abt it#i feel like talking to my brother’s friend abt it exhausted me a little. bc he said a lot of the little annoying things#the kind you can brush off as meaning well but that still add up#shit like ‘when i heard what happened i felt so sorry for you’#and comparing it to an acute injury he had. and saying he was relieved he didn’t have to medically withdraw#(having to medically withdraw from the semester has been the toughest part of this for me. i miss college so bad)#plus he like. did not seem to Get that i am Freshly Disabled!! i can’t walk out in the texas heat for very long#i have energy limits. i’m following a meds schedule (which is admittedly getting easier)#i dunno i’m just tired of it tonight i think. it’s frustrating#this got a bit more vent-y than i intended but ah well we’re here. i’ll give it the vent tag so ppl can block it if needed#i’m really lucky to know so many people that understand. because if every interaction with other people was like today’s i think i’d lose it
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#i have a rant but it doesn't need to be seen so its going in the tags- like i need to get it out but like it doesn't need to be 'loud' yo?#*yk?#also sidenote my emoji keyboard updated so there's probably gonna be a lot of typos#i seriously cant believe my eyes when it comes to some of the hate online#like#i just blocked a good dozen people because they were just so--- mean spirited? i mean i guess its no surprise there's trolls on the internet#but these ppl are not trolls they just genuinely have these hateful opinions. and that's fine. thats why I'm whispering in my tags because#like it really is fine they're not doing anything wrong. but i just cant bwlelievw my eyes#how can people just so profoundly misunderstand others? and then yell about it so loudly like they're the the most righteous voice?#especially on the internet. i think a lot of times we forget that we only see a tiny little window into what a person is really like.#we will never know the whole story of who someone is or what they've been through in a parasocial format. hell even in a real life format.#it just boggles my mind#i cant imagine the amour of strength it must take to be bullied your whole entire life- as a child and teen and now as an adult creator.#thats insane#and then to have people constantly demanding that you step back into the ring#as if they've never made a mistake before - as if they're anger as a stranger on the internet is some sort of divine right#i just wow#complete opposite energy of the boop button#we need more boop buttons#metaphorically and literally- we need to push more buttons that say 'i love you' that say 'i don't know who the fuck you are or what you've#been through jut i see you and i love you'#what if we all just held hands#ugh#i guess you could call this rant 'baby's first time seeing an anti tag'#ughhhhh
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#seraph speaks#k word use#everything going on rn is just. awful. my dash makes me sick to my stomach on a regular basis.#but i feel such immense shame at the very idea of blocking The Words even if it's for my own well-being#because then i'll be One Of The Bad Jews or whatever#honestly this site feels really really hostile again#it hasn't felt that way since i was sent graphic gore and death threats during one of the nazi raids years and years ago#and the worst part is that this unsafe feeling is coming from ppl who i generally quite like and even trust.#to make it even worse i KNOW ppl will deride and mock me for the very fact that i (a filthy fucking jew) feel terrified and unsafe rn#because ~i'm not the one being actively bombed right now~#i've already seen it happening.#and i just. am so tired.#as if this is a fucking competition? obvs i'm not saying i have it worse than palestinians#but honestly if you have the time to mock jews for being afraid rn#bc antisemitism ALWAYS spikes when israel's in the news for crimes (bc gentiles think all of world jewry is responsible for those crimes)#it's already been bad. it's going to get worse.#and if you come into my asks or my replies or w/e about this and get combative#genuinely just call me a fucking kike so i can block you#i just assume that if you have the time to bitch at random jews for the gall to be afraid rn that you aren't someone currently in a warzone#i feel like they have more important things to worry about than harassing jews on tumblr dot com.#anyways sorry for the [gestures] this#im not going to say anything else. will likely block certain words eventually as well. i'm just so exhausted and upset.#it's been all i can think abt.
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I was on the wikipedia page for phobias just for fun but just discovered theres an actual word for a fear of being touched.. 🥹
#haphephobia.... and they list guts from berserk under pop culture references 😢😢😭😭 thats my guy....#not gonna lie i teared up a bit i didnt realise it 'counted' as an actual phobia#i find it really difficult to talk abt but i have a complicated relationship w touch/physical contact (likely trauma babeyy)#and while i do crave it a lot i also have a very physical reflexive fear response especially if its intentional + i dont expect it#which can sometimes even get triggered just being in proximity to ppl bc like. even the possibility sets me on fucking edge#it would be nice to be as physically affectionate as i naturally want to be without dealing w my fight/flight/freeze but alas#its weird bc there are some random situations where it doesnt get triggered at all but its so unpredictable every time#and varies wildly person to person for seemingly no reason. there r strangers im innately more comfortable with but also friends ive known#for years and will never be comfortable around. i think part of that depends on how strongly the other person communicates and whether-#i feel as if theyre demonstrably able to respect boundaries not just mine but their own too + understand theyre not always fixed#ideally i need to have had this conversation with them so i Know they understand. which is rly difficult i find it so hard to admit#and i have a complicated mental block where i need the other person to naturally bring it up which very very rarely ever happens#idk just an atmosphere of safety yknow. i think its intentional touch that specifically makes me panic bc im usually fine w like-#bustling crowds or even expected social rules like handshakes at interviews. bc its not like they're Trying To Touch Me its just rote idk#hopefully eventually ill reach a place where im able to unpack it and reduce its severity bc man sometimes its fucking heartbreaking to me#bc i do genuinely really like physical contact im an incredibly physical person its my main way of interacting w the world#and the way having to force myself to avoid it meshes w my rsd too augh.... its a clusterfuck#even just having one person im completely comfortable with. maaaaan.#almost makes me miss my ex. at least i was mostly cool around them#god its sucked lately ive been having weird vivid dreams related to it. but whatever its so far down my list of problems to prioritize#and at least i dont get it w my familys dog so i can cuddle her :^) i miss her i cant wait to see her next month :D#anywayyyy thats enough im so tired goodnight every1...#.diaries
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MAYBE IT WOULD STRENGTHEN THE STORY IF THEY GOT TOGETHER ACTUALLY 🖕
#text#and fuck that one guy who was my mutual for yearsssss and i thought she was so cool but over time she started vagueing me like#all the fucking time 😭#forever thinking abt how she saidf one of my headcanons wasnt 'realistic' bc how could one character be 4'11'' and the other be like.#i dont remember the exact number but Tall. she was like Its not realistic .#?!?!?!?!? fellas is it unrealistic to be short and have a tall boyfrien d#BUT LIKE she was like yeah i hate when ppl who ship this thing make it their whole focal point of the story i think it cheapens the themes#of the story like GIRLLL. first of all who cares if someone posts about a fictional couple a lot. SECOND OF ALL#MAYBE in a story about isolation & belonging having a character whose ending is just. Being even more alone & isolated than he was at the#beginning would be improved by him falling in gay t4t love with the main character actually. BUT WHAT DO I KNOW#and i mean sure theres a lot of other endings he couldve had that didnt involve falling in love BUT THAT WAS THE ONE I WAS REALLY INTO#ON ACCOUNT OF HOW I WAS REALLY AUTISTIC ABOUR THEM. ANYWAY I DONT EVEN CARE.#i was rhe one to take the initiative and block her btw 😭theres only so many times u can see someone vaguepost abt u before its like#man if u cant bring urself to block me i'll do it for u 😭😭#OKAY DONE FOR REAL NOW SORRY.
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has anyone seen that rent stabilization case they're trying to push to the supreme court cuz i'm ready to punch some idiots
#personal#omg nooooo they're trying to push an ''equality'' spin like they did for the affirmative action one#and i'm already seeing dummies fall for it PLEASE stop i'm locked in at 1600 base for queens STOP#literally we pay 1640 for a really large 1-bed a few blocks from the train if dumb dumbs ruin this for me i'm gonna go ballistic#like only 25 mins from manhattan too LOL#after two years our lease got raised a whopping 40 bucks a month so PLEASE PLEASE I AM BEGGING PPL#the little old lady paying $500/month in rent control in soho is NOT the reason rents are $3k STOP#that's literally the reasoning i've seen behind some of the posts like ''ohhh we're subsidizing boomers'' NO YOU AREN'T STOP PLEASE STOP :<#like it's such fucking obvious conservative astroturfing pls???#like we're planning on staying here until we have like a 4yo... cuz we can divide our bedroom in 2/3.. 1/3 with like an ikea kallax#or something like that if we have a kid ever bc it's HUGE!!! and both sides of the room have windows cuz it's a corner#so we could turn the bedroom into bedroom + baby/toddler room#and since we don't plan on having kids for at least another 3 years that's 7 more years we could stay in our apartment with no issues#like the MOST our rent could be by then (bc we do the two year leases) with current trends is like... 2k#and our landlord hasn't raised it the full amount cause i do /most/ repairs myself#sooo pls don't fuck this up for me LMAO
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was looking at the dark souls 2 walkthrough i’m using (i normally never use walkthroughs but i make an exception for dark souls bc it is so hard & confusing and i’m only playing it bc i paid $20 for it or w/e) and i saw i was on chapter 6 and i was like oh nice ive gotten p far already :) scrolled down to see how many chapters were left and there is 31 total 😭 i am 1/5 of the way there 🥴
#michelle speaks#i typically only look at a walkthrough if i’m like really stumped on smth in a game otherwise i like to figure things out#on my own bc it’s more fun that way. but it is not fun in dark souls lmao.#if u have not played dark souls they literally do not tell you what to do or where to go. they just drop u into the world#& there are a bunch of different paths and you have no idea which one to take#for some ppl i’m sure they enjoy that but for me i find it extremely overwhelming to have no direction at all#when i’m playing a game like if i’m not told what to do i will not do anything like my executive dysfunction immediately kicks in lol#so it would literally b unplayable to me w/o a walkthrough. bc legit one of my biggest issues w my adhd is that i get a mental block#if i’m mot sure what i’m supposed to do w smth & then i avoid it & never do it. so if i’m gonna play this game i need a walkthrough 😩#all this to feel justified in spending $20…….but there is so many things u can buy w that. so like yeah.#AND i have dark souls 3 and bloodborne 😔 so many $20 to justify 😩
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it is a good day to not know anything about smps
#aria talkz#yea i know not everyone in dsmp sucks. i still hate dsmp and smps and how it fucked the minecraft rp community forever with its structure#alas.#anyways i just see block people in trans character polls and im like... yea sure if the character and the creator of them r trans ig but#Are they really gunna win against frisk undertale anyways#Or the knight from hollowknight#Or canonical / heavily headcanoned trans characters#idk i dislike when theres clear character bias due to ppls followerbase like#to have a bunch of characters from a specific series shoved into a poll that theyre going to have bias for bc the blogger who made the poll#likes it a lot to the point where they themselves get weirdly upset when ppl dont vote for the mcyters#i dont know these ppl nor give a fuck!#and even if they do win its like that shit is Noooot deserved. they are not as much as a cultural icon as canon trans characters#Like yes they can make ppl figure out their identity. Thats cool! But u rlly have to factor in that shit#I am not voting for a random white mcyters OC insert over Birdo or Frisk or The Knight or anything. Sorry not sorry#ESPECIALLY IF THE CHARACTER AND CONTENT CREATOR *ARENT EVEN TRANS*...#like yes cis people can play trans characters. but it is very subjective if they can do it well. Or should. As opposed to like actual trans#people who can do it much better and need those roles more...#i also am p sure most of the options there are just widely regarded as fandom headcanons for oc self insert white mcyter no. 50#except the actual trans ccs in mcyt like ranboo or w/e. thats fine.#and yes i know theyre characters. but its so odd to have what is essentially a self insert with a few layers removed. theres obviously like#a level of personal-ness there. i know how it is!! i used to fucking rp a semi-self insert minecraft character it is HARD to NOT project!!#blablabla my experiences arent universal but idk itsj ust always struck me as odd.#it sucks bc the whole idea around minecraft rps is fun but minecraft rp is tainted for me eternally by smps and past friendgroups.#( both of which did not really account for my needs since i cant rlly play minecraft survival well bc of triggers but then like#only played minecraft and excluded me from a lot )#so w/e
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if you take someones outdoor cat i will break into your house and steal all of your cats, hope this helps! xoxo❤️💋😘
#idrc how you feel about outdoor cats.#in many ways- who gave you the authority to decide what happens to someone else's cat?#dont talk about the environment and endangering birds bc theres plenty of other shit that does that and yall dont hammer nearly as hard on#those things#i dont think its a good idea but its also not my place to decide for people- its my job to inform them#bc tbh idk but it uh. seems a lil more fucked up to just STRAIGHT UP STEAL SOMEONES FUCKING CAT. instead of maybe idk#at the very least in form them about your fucking concerns.#some of yalls only goal is to feel edgy and cool and stealing shit is the only way you know how to do it#and so you're gonna justify it and tell yourself you're doing it for all these Good Political Reasons when really you just want an excuse#to steal shit let alone something that matters deeply to someone.#hope you feel good. hope you feel like you won. that misinformed family thinks their cat was abducted by those creepy christians who#kill black cats on halloween and shit but its probably fine bc at least you get to tell yourself you're doing praxis#misinformed* as in. they dont know its wrong to not put your cats outside. like MOST people.#as in: your average american#and yes i have every right to be upset about this attitude since someone kidnapped my outdoor cat. idk what reason they did it#but whatever reason aside from thinking its a stray is dumb. if the cats not actively being abused who tf are you to step in and decide#whats right for ppl you could have otherwise just fucking talked to.#imagine i tell my 11 year old kid its ok to go to the playground 2-3 blocks down and he can walk there. you walk up to him and go#'omg this poor child all alone you must be an orphan!' or 'how dare your parents mistreat you by abandoning you outside here and letting#you think its safe to go out!'#and then you just straight up kidnap my kid. like. you dont know the situation thats going on at my home. maybe i shouldnt have let him go#alone but hes older and walks home from school aloneperfectly fine and its like 2 blocks away so i can go there whenever i need to#sure its a bit different with a cat but still like. you're essentially stealing someones family member bc you decided you have the#authority to step in and go 'actually im going to raise you now bc i dont AGREE with the way they raise you'#and while theres abuse cases where thats warranted i dont feel like having the general idea and belief that it is and should be safe enough#outside for my child to go to the playground w/o me if its 2-3 bloack away- i dont feel like having that as a general belief means that im#abusive or that ppl who think that are abusive.
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I broadly think the majority of content you find in "X critical" tags tends to be a bit. Uh. Garbage in terms of legit media criticism, but I cannot overstate their importance in terms of being easily filterable for people who actually like X, and idk if it's the recent migrations from other social media platforms or (more likely) if I'm just having an off week and reading into things too much but like. Can we keep it going/bring it back??? If I have to see one more post about how ppl hate a certain thing in that certain things tag (where fans congregate to find content of the thing), with no filterable critical tag. I might actually kill ppl
#ramblings of a lunatic#the owl house#yeah. yeah#i should stop going into the maintag BUT SOMETIMES IT'S GOOD IN THERE MAN!!#and i don't follow as many toh ppl#so sometimes i gotta go into the tag to find things i really like!#i wish i just didn't have to see more than one post dunking on a piece of media i like there like. that's not what it's for#even if you're tagging it for your own blog organization that's not stopping you from putting a critical tag so ppl can filter it#it'd just make everyones lives easier man#especially the ppl posting the critical content!#bc they tend to get messages and replies from fans who disagree with them (bc again.. they're in the wrong space)#and then decide that this means the fans are toxic (maybe but you've got a bad sample size and no control group)#idk man i just. I'm doing everything right on my part! blocking ppl and filtering tags#but some ppl just don't want to follow the social contract of online spaces and I'm normal about that#tbh I'm also just really tired today. I've been hand painting a chessboard and chess set (w/ help! it's been fun-#-but also i was there from noon to 5pm. it was actually probably closer to 6 hours in total cause of work done afterwards)#(point being I'm tired. I'm sleepy. I'm kinda cranky and i wanna be silly in peace for five minutes)#(i know we all joke about the insularity of our dashes and mutuals but. it does make me a bit sad-#-fan spaces don't have to be this insular to be peaceful. it could be better)
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Now that wasn't very serotonin-huffing of you, was it? Block the OP of the post, take a breather, stop telling people they should die for a joke post, pet an animal, meet people, realize that people enjoy stuff that you don't, just. Genuinely, calm down. You don't get a happier life waging a war like this. And if anger and hatred is your choice-- well. Enjoy your burnout, and enjoy desperately trying to find joy when all you've done is surrounded yourself with barbs of scorn.
LMAOOOOO WHAT 💀💀💀💀 hang on I’m using “barbs of scorn” as my new discord handle that shit had me wailing HQKEJEKR if this is about the “proshipper” post 1) ur loser ass really scrubbed through looking for people who didn’t like that op was talking abt how it was ok to fetishize incest and rape and send ppl anons telling them to “let happiness into their heart and let ppl enjoy things” 2) brother I’m plenty happy that shit meant nothing to me!! I’m not burned out for shit!! Being a hater sometimes is good for the skin 💕
#anons#incest mention#rape mention#IM CRYING I GOT ONE OF THE ‘you have so much hate in your heart…’ ANONS QJEJTKJT#telling op of that proship post to get hit by a train- I meant that shit but I’m not wasting precious minutes of my life over it either#I moved tf on!!! LMAO#you talk like one of those 30 year olds that says ‘sweet summer child’ btw#I’m still shaking over ‘now that wasn’t very seretonin-huffing of you’ SORRY WHAT#they really thought I was wasting more than the time I spent on that post thinking abt them#also how does ur ass know I didn’t block them?? unless ur op 👀#by ‘ppl enjoy stuff you don’t’ ur referring to incest cp rape and race play?? yeah no no one gets to enjoy those I’m the fun destroyer LMAO#y’all can get flayed alive 🤪#I’m sitting on the porch enjoying nature rn w two cats and my sibling I think ur the one who needs to go outside LMAO
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yknow i think ive fucked myself being so attached to this url lmao
#i still like it#and if tubbo starts being a shit creator or just doesnt ever like.. notably change if he interacts w dream or not#ill probably pick a new url#but for now i adore it except it feels vaguely limiting in a way#bc its like. near permanently attached to dsmp. even though tubbo himself isnt just a dsmp creator#and my url isnt really about the cc anyways. obvously#idk. i do have my main but not a lot of people really. engage with me there#not that many people engage with me here either hah#but i guess sometimes i think about having a more general sideblog where i can talk about whatever#maybe get a fresh start away from this blog#bc uh. idk#i dont want to block evade#but it sucks to like. know this url is attached to a lot of bullshit that happened to me#and i guess a part of me wishes i wasnt tied to people hating me over misunderstandings#(altho i know plenty of people probably just have me blocked bc they dont like me on the principal that some ppl just dont like others)#sighs. idk#i have like. 900 followers here but nearly none of them seem to interact w my content anymore#and even people who have wanted to reach out i struggled to reach back bc#idk. honestly im just not good at. being a friend haha. or being social in general#so sorry to anyone who did reach out or wanted to interact and got very little in response#i kind of suck at interaction! whoops#and also am just in general a very awkward and not the most pleasant person to be around#which isnt meant in a self deprecating manner ive just been told many times that im mean n blunt and not a very good person#for honestly fair reasons. which probably isnt encouraging anyone to interact hah whoops#back on track though i guess i just wish i could. i guess make a new me. which is something i do a lot anyways#but i dont think many would follow. and sue me but i like attention. so.. idk#if i invent a new personality for myself and start going by a different name and change how i come off just in general#all on some sideblog that seems suspiciously like me but off then. whoops sorry i just do this sometimes#i dont like being the same person for too long. i have to try and change everything about myself to see what makes people finally like me#or i die
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I'm not joking though ace and aro ppl are literally so annoying because they can't shut up about being ace and aro. They're like the vegans of the not-heterosexual community. You do not need to tell us how you're oppressed for being aro/ace every single moment of the day. Like jeez it's not like you're being killed for existing.
#rambles#i have those tags blocked bc i literally do not care haha#i hope ppl dont get mad at me for kinkshaming alloromantic(?) people and calling them gross#i have poc mentality where it's automatically allowed for me to be prejudiced against the majority bc i'm a minority#that and people that experience romantic attraction are literally so freaking weird#watching romance movies makes me feel like i'm going insane#like that's what you're into? that's literally what you're into? like seriously?#so gross#which it's funny bc i'm addicted to otome isekai#but like......#i feel romance movies are revered because you find them romantic#which is an indication of personal desire because on some level you want that to happen to you#and that's something i do not relate to#whereas otome isekai there's more time for a romance to build and like...... i dont desire that to happen to me#when i think abt the psychology behind otome isekai romance tho i start getting weirded out again#but it's the reason why i can watch and enjoy romcom movies bc i dont feel enjoying them is a reflection of self-desire#nobody watches romcoms and thinks 'omg that's so romantic i want that to happen to me'#the moment i become aware of that mentality then the romance isnt enjoyable anymore#but also i think that in otome isekai letting the romance build over time really helps the weird factor for me#if romance makes sense and is logical and i can understand then it is enjoyable
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