Tumgik
#( we don't have to rush | connections.
inkskinned · 2 years
Text
there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)
i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.
i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.
and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.
HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.
now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.
my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.
i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.
by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!
keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"
similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."
the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"
if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.
the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.
godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.
the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.
32K notes · View notes
irregularbillcipher · 8 months
Text
watched the musical demon show (don't wanna name it so this post isn't in the tags) at the behest of an IRL friend and i can already tell this is going to be a piece of media where i absolutely cannot stop thinking about it, not because i really love the show as-is, but because it has so many individual components i really like and find incredibly fun or compelling, and i'm so frustrated that it doesn't come together for me
i think the main thing i can say about it as a show, setting aside some of the insensitive choices that were made that i really don't feel qualified to tackle or talk about, is that the entire thing sort of gives off this vibe of someone really excited to show you every single oc they made in high school and college and i very genuinely mean that in both the best and worst ways possible
there are some good hooks for season two though so i will absolutely give them that
#the vibe is just like... they are just soooo excited to get all their ideas out that it becomes... messy and badly paced#like there are so many moments that are cool or fun or emotional in a vaccuum but they don't connect fully y'know#because this arc or character was JUST introduced so there isn't proper build up. everything moves too quick#and it's frustrating because you can TELL that the people making this show love their ideas and characters#and i more than get thta! i am also someone with a lotta ocs i love to blab about#but i think they have been working with them so long that they#a. assume we are already just as attached to them as they are without always doing that work#b. assume we've seen all the supplemental material which. i have not#and i don't think that a professional show is the type of thing where there should be a barrier of entry that involves like#podcasts and comics and twitter threads and IC instagram posts about characters to do that emotional/lore legwork y'know#i love lore and supplemental stuff obviously but this should still be like#a satisfying experience for me a person who saw the pilot however many years ago and then has not interacted with the show or fandom since#idk man stuff felt rushed and messy and i wish i liked it more#it needed more slow moments i think. the two scenes where the group all drinks together (minus one awful joke in the bar scene) are like#the best in the show to me becase i actually believe these guys are FRIENDS. i wanna see them hang out more!#i wanna see them actually really grow to like each other organically!!! i wanna see them build connections and grow better slowly!!!#songs absolutely slap though. soundtrack is probably gonna be in my spotify unwrapped 2024#i love me a musical and that inspiration is on its sleeve which i love#also imo the humor isn't great usually. it's very juvenile imo and sometime that works but it often doesn't#(for me at least humor is obviously SUPER subjective)#also tonally they have this 'have your cake and eat it too' issue which bugs me. it's exemplified by the v's (one in particular)#actually i could go on a whole rant about the v's if anyone is interested because god i have some Thoughts#and i think my issues with the v's (namely one v) encapsulates many issues i have with the show#despite all this rambling i actually did enjoy a lot of my time with it. i just don't think it was well-written if that makes sense
9 notes · View notes
Text
good morning!! <333
3 notes · View notes
montanamp3 · 4 months
Text
tatimaxxing (something big just happened to me but i can't talk about it on this blog because ive posted face)
#my friend's in the hospital again so i spent 20 on an uber with my other friend to go see her#but by the time we got there visiting hours were over 😭#so we just had dinner at the park#and i told her about The Big Terrible Thing for the first time#straight through without embellishment! yay! i think at least#because ive retold the story in so many different ways that im not actually sure what happened anymore#she was like super chill about it though!! and was like im really impressed that you actively made an effort to not be [REDACTED]#not really what she said more like Making An Effort to No Longer [Redacted]#redacted as an action not as a noun blah blah you know#and she told me about how shes faced discrimination at our super homogeneously chinese church which i feel REALLY BAD ABOUT BUT I DON'T KNOW#HOW TO EXPRESS IT TO HER OR WHAT TO SAY ABOUT IT 😭😭😭😭 GIRL HELP#im being so useless and chinese about it 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 i don't know how to talk to people about things that matter#and idk like ok v non-tatimaxxing of me to say but ive been so self centered and going Wahhh these normies will never experience my#Deep Secret Emotions unlockable only by spending too much time on tumblr as a child#on the other hand i feel like once this has gotten out of the way i don't really have an excuse for not connecting with my church friends#yknow. like i don't have to hide this from them any more#they're great people!! and they're going through so much and I need to be there for them but I couldn't even get tothe stupidhospital on tim#not cry typing just ran out of space#anyway I wish I could care more about them I wish I could make genuine connections without having to lie to feel some sort of weird#rush of power over them because I know the truth and they don't when I lie so much I don't even know what the truth is#I've been putting my face on here more lately because I want to be genuine and I want to not hide things#but idk if it'll work I think it might just make me unemployable 😭😭😭#cc diary
5 notes · View notes
cabbxges-and-kings · 2 years
Text
I really wish s4 of turn would've included a throw back to Thomas' death (Abe's brother Thomas) when he was undercover in the British army. Since I'm sure Richard would be glad if both of his sons served, maybe not so much after Thomas' death, but still. It was built up as this big impactful thing in s1, in his trial in s3 Abe confesses that he "killed" his brother. So it was still relevant to Abe's character at that point. I know not a lot of people like Abe and wouldn't care for seeing any reference to it, but it could've surfaced in his mind after losing his father: his mother, brother, and finally, father all being dead. Since his brother served and was killed during his time serving in the British Army, it could've strengthened his bond with Mary, or something, since it's his death that caused the two to get married instead.
#( ooc )#( I will always say Abe's s4 character growth is a little weird to me )#( I know we were supposed to get a s5 and it was quite rushed and they did what they could )#( I like his growing connection and bond with Mary don't get me wrong )#( but the whole angle the rest of the characters all seemed to share doesn't really fit Abe imo )#( I mean it could work but not in the way it was handled imo )#( the message or storyline I'm talking about that all character shares is the sense of a new life after the war )#( adapting to the change making it your own paying for past dues changing as a person overall )#( Hewlett Townsend? Peggy Simcoe Mary Anna all seem to share this in common with their development and actions )#( Abe too but I'll get to that later on )#( I think Hewlett had the best character arc in relation to this overall message )#( I think it worked out wonderfully and really made Hewlett a complex character it just really worked in his favor )#( For Abe? idk )#( it could've worked out but I think the whole not killing Simcoe at the end didn't really feel ic for me )#( we always know Abe is a vengeful sorta guy and Simcoe has scorned Abe a few too many times )#( I get it we have to have Simcoe live because of historical accuracy reasons )#( but idk I never really see Abe as the sparring type and I don't really see why Abe spared Simcoe anyways )#( Abe had a chance to kill Simcoe before but now he had another chance and idk I feel like Abe would definitely take advantage of that )#( after all the seasons )#( I think it would've worked better if they interwoven this message more with Mary and his connection to his new family )#( I completely forgot what I was about to say in relation to this lmao )#( overall I think the sparring of Simcoe and this whole message is more ic for Hewlett than it is for Abe )#( like I can see where maybe he thinks more blood and death won't solve anything )#( but idk with everything idk what would've put that in his head? he could've justified killing Simcoe easily with everything )
8 notes · View notes
lisbonsteresa · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
you don't get how crazy i'm going over this
#like....LIKE?????#not even talking about the lisbon of it all (we have to though these things are intrinsically connected but we're holding off for now)#i'm so....proud? of this little fictional man?#was the setup a little silly? maybe (but i loved every SECOND of it i can't BELIEVE i actually got a big blowout and a lowest point-#realization AND a rush to the airport confession that's SO)#this payoff was so SO worth it for me#and honestly i don't think the setup was even THAT silly -- what did lisbon say in 4.24? he had to hit rock bottom and know it or something#that's this. hurting her like this is his rock bottom (see you can't ignore the lisbon of it all - which i LOVE)#even with all the crazy shitty things he's done up until now; especially to HER; it was to get red john; he had that to fall back on#(not that he really saw it as a fallback but it gave him something else to focus on/something to justify his methods)#but after red john (episode not person) he doesn't have that anymore and he's been floundering ESPECIALLY when it comes to her#this wasn't a con (*not an official con) this was him doing something shitty and her finally having had enough#and him realizing just how right she's been; she was right on the first plane this season and she was right at the blue bird#and he's finally able to admit to himself just how much of a shit he's been...and then he's able to admit a lot of other things too#that little bit of honestly led to so much more and it let him FINALLY say out loud what they both knew (as much as they ignored it#or talked around it or pushed it down) and it let him say it without pretenses or expectations; just because#he 'needed to get to this' and she 'deserved to hear it' and i'm usually kind of meh on 'i needed to say it/you needed to hear it'#but this one; this one i GET#and i'm not explaining myself well at all i'm delirious but the point is this is SO well done and it feels DESERVED for me i love it#tm
8 notes · View notes
queerhydrangea · 1 year
Text
.
5 notes · View notes
bisquid · 1 year
Note
Wait wait you can't just drop that off and not elaborate. What do you mean is there a mafia presence in Wales?? Please spill, what things did you notice??
Okay so bearing in mind that I have ADHD and Chronic Terrible Observational Skills:
I am in Cardiff
For a concert I am attending solo
Doors open at 5
4:15 ish I go 'hmm I should eat something'
Cardiff is - unsurprisingly, being tiny and yet home to FOUR concert venues - Very Busy
Find McDonald's
McDonald's is very full. I recall my last concert related McDick's experience, and promptly bounce
Directly across the street
Is an Italian restaurant
It looks closed but fuckit maybe I can beg for like. Bread or some shit
Go over
Am immediately pounced upon by the hitherto unnoticed chain-smoking woman hanging out by the door mostly hidden by a potted ficus(?)
"I was wondering if you were open and if-" "yes yes we are open what would you like?" (strongish Italian accent)
Inside restaurant is Deserted
Explain that I'm sort of in a rush, am assured it's fine
Order chicken milanese which is generally a pasta dish with a breaded chicken component
Am led to seat nearish the front and promptly provided with a pint of coke in a glass tankard
Am then provided with a front row seat to an absolutely incomprehensible series of people entering and exiting (and in one case walking directly into) the door to what I can only presume is the kitchen
Starting with the guy who had been sitting at a table chain-smoking over a pile of papers
I counted at least three people exiting at least twice without actually entering in between
Am finally brought food
It is a breaded, butterflied chicken breast approximately the size of my face and a small pile of pasta approximately the size of my fist
It is all delicious
Chain-smoking papers man reappears, now wearing a chef's apron labcoat thing
Go up to pay, chain-smoking ficus lady is now having a very loud argument in a language I did not recognise but was not Italian Welsh English French russian Gaelic or Spanish
She sees me, says, and I quote 'ah little girl lost, one moment' and promptly hangs up
I am 27 and only nominally female
I am not remotely lost
She charges me for the pint of coke but not the food
I try to point out that she hasn't charged me for the food
'do you want to pay for the food?'
'.... Not if I don't have to?'
'good'
I leave. The door is now full of half a dozen very tall very Italian men and one absolutely adorable cocker spaniel
I ask if I can pet the dog (I have my priorities straight okay)
I am allowed to pet the dog. The dog and I are now best friends
The dog lead holder asks me in extremely accented but impeccably correct English if I had enjoyed the food
'yeah it was great!'
Everyone laughs a bit
I smile and pet the dog and realise I'm now late for the concert and hurry off
I see a post on Tumblr about mob fronts and several connections are made in my brain all at once
19K notes · View notes
sunrizef1 · 18 days
Text
Bed Chem
Pairing: Logan Sargeant x Reader
Warnings: None
Authors Note: Im working lateeee cuz I'm too busy pretending Logan has a seatttt | this took so long actually wtf
TWITTER
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
MESSAGES
Tumblr media Tumblr media
INSTAGRAM
yourusername
📍Paris, France
Tumblr media
liked by iamrebeccad carlossainz55 and 12,888,999 others
yourusername what a show @givenchy
load comments…
user1 mother
user2 my queen
user3 prettyyyyyyyyyyy
user4 🤭
iamrebeccad my fav girl 💋
liked by yourusername
user5 hot
user6 ❤️❤️
user7 I'm in love
user8 the sheer is giving
user9 I love you pls reply 😭
user10 my favvvvvvv I love HERRRRRR
user11 NEW MUSIC PLEASE BAE
carlosainz55 do you know your dress is see-through 😓
yourusername its givenchy!
user12 I need that dress 😭
user13 Y/N WHATS YOUR OPINION ON LOGAN SARGEANT
theweeknd 🔥
liked by yourusername
user14 MY pop icon
——
MESSAGES
Tumblr media Tumblr media
INSTAGRAM
yourusername added to their story
Tumblr media Tumblr media
iamrebeccad
🫶
yourusername
ilyyyy 💋
——
carlossainz55
y do u insist on calling me father so much
yourusername
Mama y papa
carlossainz55
what
yourusername
Papa y mama
carlossainz55
Okay
——
MESSAGES
Tumblr media Tumblr media
TWITTER
Tumblr media
INSTAGRAM
yourusername added to their story
Tumblr media
user1
NEW MUSIC???????
——
user2
IS THAT JACK????
——
iamrebeccad
Wait!!! What!!!
Can I hear it 🤭
yourusername
Ofc love 🤞
iamrebeccad
Is it about a certain American….
yourusername
Ahhh
Can't say 😶
iamrebeccad
That's a yes to me
——
MESSAGES
Tumblr media
INSTAGRAM
yourusername added to their story
Tumblr media
user1
ARE YOU GOING TO THE RACE QUEEN
——
user2
Logan????
——
carlossainz55
Are you finally coming to a race???
yourusername
I have to be in Paris Sunday for a shoot 🫣
But I will be there the other days
But secretly
So don't tell anyone 😶
carlossainz55
Your secrets safe with me 🤐
——
TWITTER
Tumblr media Tumblr media
INSTAGRAM
yourusername
🎵Paris - Taylor Swift
Tumblr media
liked by logansargeant carlossainz55 and 12,999,888 others
yourusername je pense que vous souffrez d'un manque de vitamine moi
load comments…
user15 oui oui oui baguette
user16 viva la France
user17 someone call char lechair
user18 I thought she was gonna be at the race 😓
user19 BESTIE YOUR BOYFRIEND FINISHED 8TH DID YOU SEE
liked by yourusername
user19 SHE LIKED THIS COMMENTTTT
user20 “I think you're suffering from a lack of vitamin me” lmfao the caption
user21 wait what does the paper say????
user22 “I'm so fucking sick of having to hide how deeply I feel and how passionately I love you”
user21 WAIT THATS ADORABLEEEE
user23 my francophile queen
user24 I didn't know the Eiffel tower was so small
user25 this is so aesthetic core
user26 the yellow Parisian lighting really makes it
user27 I can name a certain American who's probably suffering from a lack of you
oscarpiastri oui
yourusername ok
user28 Oscar and y/n: my fav deadpan icons
user29 ooh la la huh huh huh 🥐
user30 are you happy to be in Paris?
yourusername oui
user31 y/n whats your favourite part of Paris
yourusername smells of piss. Constantly.
user32 pretty pretty pretty girl
logansargeant 🇫🇷🥐
liked by yourusername
user33 THE SONG FOR THE POST BEING PARIS BY TAYLOR???? IM SO IN LOVE THAT I MIGHT STOP BREATHING DREW A MAP ON YOUR BEDROOM CEILING???? She's in love!!!!!
——
TWITTER
Tumblr media
INSTAGRAM
yourusername added to their story
Tumblr media Tumblr media
user1
LOGAN??????
——
user2
boyfriend spotted
——
user3
Soft launch?????
——
user4
don't be shy
Post him on the feed
——
carlossainz55
you're welcome
I was the messenger
I did this
——
yourusername
Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by logansargeant maxverstappen1 and 15,999,800 others
yourusername surprise! My new single “bed chem” is out now… come sleep with me 💋🛏️
load comments…
user34 WOOOOOO
user35 its so good 😭🫶😭😭🫶
user36 LOGANNNNNNNNN
user37 no tag????
user38 the first verse just being the most thinly veiled reference to the givenchy show… like girl 😭
user39 “I was in a sheer dress the day that we met” we've all seen the black dress 🤭
user40 “we were both in a rush we talked for a sec” that one video of them lmfao
user41 “your friend hit me up so we could connect” I say that's Oscar.
user42 Ive chosen to believe its Alex
user43 THIS SONGS ABOUT LOGAN?????
user44 “manifest that you're oversized” I'm going to pretend this isn't about Logan so I still see him again
oscarpiastri a lot of words I don't want to hear about my friend btw
yourusername well… idc
user45 who's the cute guy with the wide blue eyes? 😍
carlossainz55 ive finally made it into a song
liked by yourusername
user46 ok wait but the Paris pic is so cute 😭
user47 those messages are so funny 😭
user48 he only has eyes for his girl 🤭
iamrebeccad SO GOODDDDDD
yourusername 🫶
user49 I sense logie bear
user50 Logan Sargeant hard launch on the feed
logansargeant 🔥
yourusername 💋
——
logansargeant added to their story
Tumblr media
yourusername
Ily lo 💋💋💋💋
logansargeant
🤭🫶
——
Taglist:
@c-losur3 @llando4norris @lokideservesahug @casperlikej @evie-119 @awritingtree
1K notes · View notes
rafeandonlyrafe · 4 months
Text
girls night
Tumblr media
words: 1.4k
warnings: 18+ only, smut, teasing, p in v sex, semi public sex, a bit of exhibitionism, unprotected sex, clingy!rafe, established relationship
“so the girls are coming over-”
“mhm…”
“so if you want to watch a movie upstairs, or maybe see if top can hang out?” you suggest, rocking back and forth on your heels.
“hm, no.” rafe shakes his head, keeping his ass planted in the middle of the couch.
“no? it's just that we're gonna watch like a romcom and drink wine and gossip-”
“i can do all that too.” rafe shrugs.
“but do you really want to?” you question.
“no, but i don't want to be away from you. so you'll just have to put up with me.” rafe reaches his hand out, pulling you onto his lap.
“how long until they get here?” he questions, one hand wrapping around your waist, tugging you into his chest while his other hand ventures to your ass, gripping it over your pajama shorts.
it takes you a moment to remember what rafe asked you. “hayley will probably be here in like ten minutes.” 
“enough time to make out.” rafe smirks at you before connecting your lips. the minutes pass by as he holds you tight against him, mouth dominating yours until you're suddenly interrupted by the doorbell sounding out.
“shit.” you whine, legs a bit shaky and weak as you stand, rushing to let hayley in who also brought your two other friends steph and tina.
“hi girlies!” you hug each of them before moving deeper into the house. “i hope you don't mind rafey joining us.”
“no problem.” hayley shrugs. she knows the most how clingy rafe can be, and how much you love it.
“pick a movie.” you toss the remote at tina. “ill get the wine!”
you bring back glasses and two bottles under your arms, one red and one white. you pour yourself some before looking to rafe.
“ill share with you.” he smiles, not a huge fan of wine himself, so if he's going to drink it, it's going to be from the same glass as you.
“okay, i know we've all seen it before but ive really been wanting to rewatch 10 things i hate about you.” tina says as she hits play on the movie.
“oh, yes!” you squeal, sitting down next to rafe. tina is on the farthest cushion of the spot away from you while hayley and steph have taken up the armchairs.
you lean into rafe, only occasionally reaching forward to sip your wine. 
you're watching the movie when rafe ducks his head, pressing light kisses to the shell of your ear before moving lower, kissing along your jawline and neck.
“rafe…” you whisper, hand moving to grip his thigh as he pays extra attention to the spot he knows you're sensitive at.
“want you so bad.” rafe whispers, not stopping the kisses despite your hand tightening it's grip on his leg.
“and i want to enjoy girls night.” you turn to rafe so your friends don't pick up on wait your saying. “after. you know i want you to, but not when we have guests over.”
“fine, ill stop.” rafe huffs, leaning back against the couch, pulling you further into him to make up for not kissing you.
rafes focus shifts to the movie to distract him, his hand randomly petting over different parts of your body until another idea sparks in his head.
his hand drifts further up, thumb swiping over the bottom of your breast, keeping his movements slow and casual like they're not calculated as he moves up until he's cupping your chest, thumb swiping directly over your nipple.
your eyes closed the second rafe touched your breast, concentrating on not moaning out and turning the groups attention towards you.
hayley lets out a laugh at a scene and it has you jolting back to reality. you grab rafes hand and lower it back to your waist.
“come on.” rafe growls in your ear.
you ignore him as something in the movie reminds steph of an ex boyfriend as she launches into a rant about him, the same one you've all heard a million times, yet you're still happy to hear again, to make the same comments about how much of a dick he is.
rafe leans forward, slipping his arm from around you as he grabs a blanket from the basket you pulled to the center of the room for the girls.
“anyone else cold?”
tina raises her hand so rafe tosses a fluffy blanket in her direction before draping a bigger one over both of your laps, covering you up to the waist.
“i know what you're doing.” you whisper, turning to rafe and pressing a kiss to the underside of his jaw.
“and do you want me to stop?” rafe asks. he already knows the answer to the question. as much as you feign not wanting to do anything until your friends leave, you find rafe just as irresistible.
it's why you don't really fight it when rafes hand disappears underneath the blanket. you even spread your legs for him, allowing his hand to cup your pussy over the cover of your shorts and underwear.
“you want to kill me.” you whisper-hiss into rafes ear, subtly covering your mouth in case you let any sounds slip.
“just can't resist that pussy, baby.” rafe presses kisses into your hair as you attempt to focus on the movie, rafes hand staying mysteriously still.
you become impatient, waiting for the inevitable, so you reach over, placing your hand on rafes thigh, slowly moving it upwards, teasing him by swiping your hand back down whenever you get close to his crotch.
rafe moves suddenly, standing up and letting the blanket fall away as he scoops you into his arms. “be right back, ladies.”
he rushes out of the room, not leaving you any other option as he presses you against his body.
“oh my god, rafe!” you squeal as he pushes you into the nearest private room, which happens to be your guest bathroom.
“i need you right now, fuck.” rafe tugs your pajamas down, revealing that you're only wearing a small thong.
“you could wait another like half hour? the movie was almost done!” you allow rafe to press your front into the wall, bending forward to stick your ass out.
“nope.” rafe opens up his shorts to pull his cock out, already hard from your teasing.
“ridiculous.” you roll your eyes, but its accompanied with a giggle. you love how rafe can never get enough of you, how his love and borderline obsession is clear to everyone.
“says the one dripping for my cock.” rafe chuckles, swiping the head of his cock through your folds before pressing against your entrance, pushing in with one quick motion.
“oh fuck!” you squeal before covering your mouth, remembering your friends aren't too far away, although they definitely know what's going on, you don't need them to hear it as well.
“god, you feel so good and warm.” rafe moans, immediately beginning to thrust, not wanting to take you away from your girls night for too long.
his hand wraps around your front, reaching down to rub at your clit while his other hand holds your hips steady, the slapping sound of your skin meeting together echoing around the bathroom walls.
“you're mine.” rafe huffs out, as if you need reminding.
his thrusts become wilder as the minutes pass by of him pressing into your cunt until you lose yourself to the high that rushes over your body.
rafe has to grab your hips to keep you upright as your pussy clenches around him, only a few more thrusts before rafe is spilling into you with a moan of your name.
“shit, i already want you again.” rafe laughs, pressing you into the wall as his cock finishes pulsing inside of you, needing to make sure hes filled you up as much as possible before he pulls your underwear and shorts back up.
“rafe, im gonna leak all over the couch-” you complain before he interrupts you.
“oh well.” the devious smile on his face tells all.
you pout as he gets redressed, opening the door like nothing at all happened.
“come on.” rafe holds his hand out to you, proudly walking you back into the living room.
“well, i can’t blame you for keeping rafe around all the time.” tina giggles as you retake your place on the couch, your face bright red.
“its me who needs her around all the time.” rafe smiles, pressing a kiss to the side of your head while you pull the blanket up over your face in embarrassment.
1K notes · View notes
k8lynjoy · 7 months
Text
I'm so tired of people telling those of us who are upset about the LA atla remake that we are "being too dramatic" or are just "finding things to be upset about". We are allowed to be upset that something that we love so dearly has been butchered, AGAIN. If you liked it, then that's your personal opinion, but don't sit here and tell those of us who didn't that we're the problem.
I personally think the CGI, costumes, and sets all look terrible. None of it is immersive. Sure, it LOOKS like atla, but it doesn't FEEL like atla. The heart of the og is gone, and people are allowed to be upset about this. They've altered characters to the point that they aren't the character anymore (looking at you Aang and Katara), which is a huge upset for me personally because Katara is one of my favorite characters ever. So watching her be turned into someone meek and docile is more than a slap to the face. Not to mention them removing her as the narrator as if Bryke themselves didn't state that Katara is the person the story is being told through. And before you start telling me that Aang is the same. No, he isn't. Major parts of his development through season 1 (him coming to terms with the fact that he's the avatar and embracing that role, and him also accepting the fact that he RAN AWAY and how he is never going to do that again, which is also pivotal to his character later on) are completely removed. And don't even get me started on what they did to Kataang. Regardless of whether you ship them or not, those 2 are deeply connected to one another from the start, and their relationship is a big part of the show, so to see that butchered is heartbreaking for me.
This isn't just about them "making some changes" or it not being a 1:1 adaptation. I'm fine with adaptations that aren't 1:1. What I'm upset about is that the changes they are making are VITAL changes to characters and dynamics between characters. They're rushing through the plot and condensing the story (and I will scream if I hear one more person say that it's because they couldn't fit it all in with their runtime. The runtime is an HOUR LONGER than the og, so yes, they did have the time). The changes they are making make it evident that they do not understand the og show, and if you don't feel like that, fine, once again, that's YOUR opinion, just as this is MY opinion. So stop telling us we have no right to be upset and that we just want to hate everything. That's not true. What is true is that we are expressing valid complaints about another bad adaptation of something dear to us.
Edit: If you also come at people who are upset bc they were expecting a faithful adaptation and didn't get it bc "its not supposed to be the cartoon," you're missing the whole point. An adaptation is ADAPTING SOMETHING from one medium to the other, not rewriting it. "Yall expected it to be just like the cartoon." No, I expected a FAITHFUL ADAPTATION and was met with poorly written fanfiction.
2K notes · View notes
wtfsteveharrington · 3 months
Note
"an exploratory kiss, testing the waters between them" with Luca please!
a/n: i love luca so so bad i fear s3 has giving me horrific brain rot for him baby boy i’m knocking on ur door and getting on one knee
contents: kissing, some pda, cluelessness, all my faves
Tumblr media
"I mean... I think we're just friends, right?"
Luca takes a long swig from his cold beer pint. Using the drink as an excuse to buy himself time to think. It was some draft IPA that was just the perfect level of pretentious where he didn’t look like a dick but separated himself from some domestic bottle. Something that would matter to no one except a man with his level of perception anxiety. Condensation dripping down his wrist which your eyes follow, trailing the drops as they roll down his forearm.
"Right. And would it be worth risking things between us to test out... Something more? Because I don't want to lose you just to find out we’re being a touch crazy.”
"I don't want to lose you either." You rush out after his sentence, shaking your head while resting your hands on your knees. The rough material of your jeans against your palms helping to keep you grounded.
It had been a half an hour since you and Luca passed some wonderful older woman on the street who needed directions. Luca was able to relay them by heart, though it didn’t stop you from double checking on your phone to ensure you didn’t send her off on a misguided path. She beamed at the two of you once she knew her way, patting Luca’s arm and asking the question that has broken the two of you ever since. “How long have you two been married?”
To which the two of you sputtered out a mess of words, none of which made any sense, and the older woman gave a tsk tsk tsk. “You better propose before it’s too late. Shouldn’t let such a catch get away.” The takes off on her journey. Both of you stood their with your jaws dropped before you finally started continuing on your path to the bar and trying to laugh it off.
But neither of you could let it go.
“We could-…“ You take a deep breath, rolling your shoulders back and strengthening your resolve, “We could kiss? That way we can feel there’s nothing there and get it out of minds.”
Luca stares down at his beer, eyeing the way the foam is slowly dissipating and contemplating his options. “Just one kiss?”
You nod, “Just one. Lips only, no tongue, nothing crazy.”
His body’s turning to you, eyes filled with apprehension. Searching your face for any sign of doubt, which he doesn’t find, before nodding back to you. “Just one. We’re realize how silly this is and put it behind us.”
Luca’s hand comes to rest on top of yours, the bar suddenly feeling so much warmer and intimate than before. Thankfully no one was paying attention to your little table tucked away in the back corner. He’s watching your breathing, watching your expression. Catches your tongue dart out to moisten your lips and he does the same.
He’s close enough now where you can feel the warmth rolling off his body, you can hear each steady breath he takes. “Just… Stop me if this is weird, yeah?”
You nod, leaning in as well until your noses brush against each other and your eyes fall closed before your lips connect against his. They’re slightly cold from his drink, hints of beer still on his lips. You stay connected for just a moment before you pull away, eyeing him apprehensively.
“How was that?”
He sucks in some air, staying close to you still. “It was, uhm, chaste. To say the least.”
There’s a flush on your cheeks at that.
“Well… I mean, We can do a real kiss if you want.”
Luca’s eyes are on yours, his hand moving to slide up your thigh and grabs ahold of it. “We should just make sure, y’know? Because that told me nothing.”
It’s a flawed plan but you’re not thinking as clearly with him this close.
Your arms wrap around his neck and you bring the two of you closer once again. Your lips finding his and you let out a soft moan as you feel his part under yours. He takes the chance to let his tongue slide against your bottom lip before slipping between your lips and into your mouth. You lace one of your hands in his hair while his free arm wraps around your waist now.
It’s his turn to groan into the kiss. The sound causes you to press your thighs together while your tongue moves along his. Your breathing is picking up and you’re convinced he can hear just how hard your heart is beating.
He tastes sweet. The IPA mixed with vanilla from the custard he kept having to taste during service. It was addicting to say the least.
Minutes, hours, days pass by as you lose yourself in him. Eventually you hear him groan, pulling back slightly to press another kiss to your bottom lip before leaning back in his chair. Beaming at your shocked expression.
Your hand comes up, fingers resting against your lips as you chase the feeling of the kiss. Oh.
Luca has to adjust himself on the seat, chuckling at the sight of you as he tries to relax his breathing. “She, uh, she might have known what she was talking about.”
Luca looks smug, even with his blushing cheeks, as he takes another drink of his beer. His hand never leaving your thigh.
809 notes · View notes
vanteguccir · 2 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
── ୨୧ ! 𝗕𝗜𝗥𝗧𝗛𝗗𝗔𝗬 𝗦𝗘𝗫 𝗜𝗡 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗞𝗜𝗧𝗖𝗛𝗘𝗡
         𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒐𝒍𝒐 x reader
SUMMARY: Where Matt just wants to fuck Y/N as his birthday present, it doesn't matter that it's in the kitchen and they can be caught by his brothers.
WARNING: SMUT ‼️ making-out, fingering, p in v, skin biting, slightly dom!Matt, public sex, praising kink, probability of getting caught.
REQUESTED?: Yes, by @flouqiis
AUTHOR'S NOTE: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism, copy, or "inspiration"! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.
A/N²: I promise this is the last one for their birthday (or not, yall can send more requests 🤭) 🙏🏻.
   ༻✦༺  ༻✧༺ ༻✦༺
The house was a flurry of activity, a mix of laughter, banter, and the constant hum of preparations. Balloons, streamers, and banners filled the living room, all in bright colors that celebrated the triplets' birthday.
The kitchen was warm while Y/N hummed softly to herself, her mind lost in the rhythm of cooking for the three birthday boys who rushed around to prepare their party. She was stirring the pot when she felt a presence behind her. Before she could turn, a pair of strong arms wrapped around her waist, and she felt a warm kiss on the side of her neck, a very known perfume invading her nostrils.
"Hey there." Matt’s voice was a low murmur against her skin, sending a shiver down her spine.
His lips were soft yet insistent, trailing from the base of her neck to just below her ear, sending shivers down her spine. His hands, initially resting on her hips, moving in slow, deliberate motions. They traveled up her sides, caressing her stomach with a gentle but firm touch. The sensation of his hands gliding over her skin was both soothing and electrifying.
He paused for a moment, savoring the feel of her body against his, rocking their bodies together from side to side slowly before his hands continued their journey upward, brushing against the underside of her boobs. The touch was light, teasing, but it made her breath hitch. He squeezed gently, his thumbs brushing over her nipples through the fabric of her shirt, making her gasp softly.
"Matt." She whispered, a soft smile playing on her lips. "We’re in the kitchen. Your brothers are here."
He chuckled, his breath hot on her neck.
"They finally left. They’re going to be out for an hour or so."
Y/N’s heart skipped a beat. She turned her head slightly to look at him, her eyes meeting his. There was a glint of mischief in his gaze, a look she had come to know well.
"Babe, we don’t have time for this. We have so much to do." She indicated the mess of birthday items around the living room with her chin.
"But it’s my birthday." He said in a whine tone, his hands sliding down to her hips, pulling her closer. "I deserve a little something, don’t you think?"
Y/N hesitated for a moment, but the feeling of his hands on her body, the warmth of his breath on her skin, was enough to melt her resistance. She turned off the stove and leaned back against him, her resolve crumbling.
"Okay." She whispered, her voice barely audible.
Matt wasted no time. He turned her around to face him, capturing her lips in a deep, hungry kiss. His hands roamed over her body, pulling her closer, pressing her against the kitchen counter. Y/N’s hands found their way to his hair, pulling him closer, deepening the kiss. The world outside the kitchen seemed to disappear, leaving only the two of them in their bubble of heat and desire.
He kissed her fervently, his lips capturing hers with a hunger that had been building all day. His tongue parted her lips, exploring her mouth with a passion that made her head spin. She matched his intensity, her hands tangling in his hair, pulling him closer, deepening the connection between them.
His hands roamed over her back, pulling her flush against him, as if trying to fuse their bodies into one. The taste of him was intoxicating, a mix of desire and the faint hint of the coffee he’d had earlier. She could feel his heart beating against her chest, a steady rhythm that matched the frantic pace of her own.
Matt’s hands slid down her back, cupping her ass and lifting her effortlessly. He moved with a purpose, not breaking their heated kiss as he guided her from the counter to the table. It was a blind dance, their movements instinctual and urgent. Her legs wrapped around his waist, holding him close as he carried her.
With a firm but gentle touch, he helped her sit up, his hands sliding up her back to support her. Y/N’s breath hitched as she felt the cool surface of the table against her skin, only covered by small cotton shorts, contrasting sharply with the heat of his touch. His fingers traced a path up her spine, making her shiver with anticipation.
"Matt..." She whispered breathlessly against his lips, pleading.
"I know dove, I know. Let me make you feel good, yeah?" He muttered back before locking their lips back together.
Their kiss grew even more intense, their lips moving together in a desperate dance. Matt’s hands found their way under her shirt, lifting it over her head and tossing it aside. He broke the kiss for a moment to look at her, his eyes dark with desire.
"You’re so pretty." He murmured, his voice thick with emotion. "My best birthday present in every year, yeah?"
Y/N could only moan in response, her body trembling with need. She pulled him back to her, their lips crashing together once more. Matt’s hands moved to her tits, squeezing gently, his thumbs brushing over her nipples. She gasped against his lips, the sensation sending a jolt of pleasure through her.
"Babe-" She whispered, her voice a mix of urgency and longing. "I need you. P-please."
"I need you too, dove." He replied, his voice a low growl. "I've been thinking about this all day."
He undid her shorts, pulling them down with her lace panties and tossing them aside. Y/N shivered at the cool air against her skin, but the feeling was quickly replaced by the heat of Matt’s touch. With a deliberate slowness, his fingers traveled down, teasing her inner thighs before finally reaching her core.
"We shouldn't be doing this in here." She muttered breathlessly, her tone betraying her own thoughts and sounding like a moan, trembling with a mix of desire and concern.
Matt's lips curled into a cocky smile, his eyes dark with lust.
"It's my birthday, babe. Remember?" He said, his voice a low, seductive growl. "I deserve it."
He slipped a finger inside her, moving it with expert precision, curling it just right to hit her most sensitive spots. His thumb pressed against her clit, adding to the intense sensation.
Y/N gasped, her body arching towards him, her hands gripping the edge of the table so tight that her fingers took a white color.
"Oh, Matt." She moaned, her voice thick with desire. "Please."
He could feel her body responding, her hips bucking slightly, soft moans escaping her lips repeatedly. The sound was like music to his ears, urging him on.
"Shit, sweetheart." He whispered, his lips brushing against her cheek. "You feel so good. So tight around my finger."
Her moans grew louder as his finger moved faster, deeper, his thumb circling her clit with increasing pressure. He could feel her getting wetter, her body opening up to him, and he knew she was close.
"Fuck- I can't wait to feel you around my dick." He murmured, his voice a low growl.
Her moans hit his ear, sending a shiver down his spine. He could feel her getting closer, her body tensing with anticipation.
Y/N’s mind was a whirl of sensation. She could barely breathe, her body trembling with need.
"Matt, please." She begged louder, her voice cracking as her fingers danced to his wrist, squeezing the area. "I-I need you. 'Need you inside of me. Please, please, please-"
He didn't make her wait any longer, slowly withdrawing his finger, earning a soft whimper from her. He brought his hand to his mouth, tasting her, savoring the sweet, salty flavor. His eyes never left hers, smirking with her desperate reactions.
He undid his sweatpants, letting them fall to the floor, followed by his boxers. His erection sprang free, hard and ready, aching to be inside her. He gripped her thighs, spreading them wider, positioning himself at her entrance.
"Are you ready, baby?" He asked, his voice a low, husky whisper.
She nodded, her eyes filled with need.
"Yes." She whispered, her voice trembling. "Please, Matt. Plea-"
With one swift motion, he thrust into her, filling her completely, a loud and high-pitched moan scaping from his girl. The sensation was overwhelming, her warm tightness wrapping around him like a glove. He groaned, his hands gripping her thighs roughly, holding her in place as he started to move.
"Fuck, you feel so good." He groaned, his voice thick with desire, his head falling behind exposing his adam's apple. "So tight, so made just for me."
Y/N could only moan in response, her body trembling with pleasure. He moved faster, deeper, each thrust sending waves of pleasure through her. She wrapped her legs around him, pulling him closer, matching his rhythm.
"Matt." She gasped, her voice barely a whisper. "Don't stop. Please, don't sto-op."
He didn't. He thrust into her harder, his hands gripping her hips, pulling her closer.
"So fucking good." He whispered, his voice a low growl. "My perfect little thing."
Y/N clung to him as if her life depended on it, her fingers digging into the muscles of his back. She pulled him closer - if that was even possible -, her nails leaving faint trails on his skin. Her head fell on his shoulder, her breath hot against his neck as she brushed her lips on his skin, kissing and licking the sensitive spot there. Each touch of her lips sent shivers down his spine, driving him wild with desire.
"Babe, fuck! Oh my God-" She moaned against his neck, her voice trembling with need. "Don't stop. Please, never- never stop."
Her words spurred him on, fueling the fire within him. He thrust into her harder, his movements rough and relentless, each one sending shockwaves of pleasure through her body. He gripped her thighs tightly, his fingers sinking into her skin, holding her in place as he drove into her with a fervor that bordered on desperation.
"Shit, dove." He groaned, his voice a low growl. "You feel so good. So fucking good around me."
Her moans grew louder, arching her back with all the intense feelings, pressing her chest against his, her nipples brushing against his chest. The sensation was electric, sending jolts of pleasure through both of them.
Matt's hands roamed over her body, his fingers digging into her flesh as he held her closer. He could feel her body trembling, her warm and wet walls tightening around him with each thrust. Her kisses on his neck grew more frantic, her warm tongue tracing wet patterns on his skin as she moaned his name.
"Fucking- God-" She gasped, her voice thick with desire. "I'm so close. S-so fucking clo-ose, Matt."
"Me too, dove." He whispered against her ear, his voice rough with need, cracking slightly. "I want you to cum with me, baby. Can you do that f'me?"
She nodded repeatedly, her eyes closed tightly, her eyes rolling behind her eyelids, lost in the sensation of him inside her.
"Yes." She moaned. "Shit- yes, Matt. Everything. 'Will always do everything-"
He increased his pace, each thrust harder and deeper than the last. The sound of their bodies moving together filled the kitchen and living room, a symphony of pleasure and desire. He could feel her getting closer, her body tensing below him, her walls sucking him in desperately, her breath coming in short, ragged gasps.
"You're mine." He whispered, his voice a low growl. "All mine. Mine to use, mine to please, mine to feel, yeah? All mine, dove."
"Yes." She moaned, her voice high-pitched echoing around them and ringing against her own ears. "All yours, only yours."
Her words sent him over the edge. With one final thrust, he buried himself deep inside her, his muscles tensing roughly. He buried his head in the crook of her neck, pressing his face against the warm, sweaty region, his lips circling the curve, exhaling her sweet smell.
The sensation of his orgasm invaded him in a strong wave that made him desperately search for support, his hands flattening the table beside Y/N's hips while his fingers pressed hard into the wooden surface.
Matt's teeth grazed the sensitive skin, closing instinctively around it, sinking into the sensitive flesh, a loud and long groan escaping his lips followed by a sensual and very pornographic moan from Y/N.
The sensation of pain and pleasure that Matt's gesture brought her triggered her own orgasm, her muscles tightening in an almost painful way as she finally came.
"Matt- Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" She cried out his name, her fingers digging into his back with as much force as before, her body trembling hard with pleasure. The sensation was overwhelming, waves of ecstasy crashing over her, leaving her breathless.
They stayed like that for a moment, lost in the aftermath of their intimacy. Their bodies were pressed together, their breaths mingling, their hearts beating in unison. Matt's hands roamed over her back, soothing her, grounding her.
He slowly pulled his teeth away from Y/N's skin, a feeling of unexpected arousal invading his body as his eyes noticed the small marks his mouth had left there. A cocky smirk stretched across his face, his lips brushing her neck over the marks before sealing the skin in a small kiss.
"Shit, dove-" Matt began, but before he could finish his sentence, the sound of keys against the lock of the front door sounded from downstairs, interrupting him.
Y/N widened her eyes comically, her hands snaking from his back to his chest, pushing him away forcefully.
"Matt-" She started, being interrupted by voices coming from downstairs.
"We're back!"
Tumblr media
taglist:
@lustfulslxt @ladybunny44 @earth2starkey @freshloveforthefit @sturniolowhore @luvr4miya @alorsxsturn @urfavgirllyyyyy @hearts4chriss @cupidzsq @junnniiieee07 @lightsgore @gidgett11037 @soimightlikeoldmen69 @ldr-sl0t @its-jennarose @sainzzsturns @soso-scarlettolivia @bitchydragonparadise @freshsturns @h3arts4harry @patscorner @strnilolo @bernardsbendystraws @poetatorturadaa @meg-sturniolo @orangeypepsi @jnkvivi @chrisactualwife @fratbrochrisgf @elordilover @somegirlfromasgard @hpyjw @colorthecosmos444 @thewhispersofthewaves @mattslolita @imwetforyourmom @mrl217 @delilahsversion @sturnsmia @mattsfavbitchhh @sturnioloshacker @soursturniolo @blahbel668 @sarosfilms @moncherriis @tobesolonelyjess @zayyluvz @littlemisswhore
(If you want to be added to the taglist, go to this post)
Tumblr media
955 notes · View notes
gayerthanevertbh · 2 months
Text
widow behind closed doors pt. 1 | n.r
Tumblr media
summary: You moved into a Craig's list apartment and met a woman through an online chat. Despite issues with your parents, you felt seen by the woman, the fleeting excitement rushing through your heart as she continues to develop a relationship with you online. However, the owner of the building, Steve Rogers, warns you to avoid the upper floor. You followed his orders, but wonder who lives behind closed doors and most of all, who is the woman behind the phone?
warnings: online dating, slight dark!natasha romanoff, age difference (natasha is 40 while reader is 20,) g!p natasha, manipulative behavior, and smut - 18+ minors dni
notes: not sure if i want to make this a story but this is just in case if i do. this is just the start of the series, this will also be posted on ao3 so let's see how it goes! let me know if you want me to continue it. don't worry, training season chapter two will be posted soon :)
Last month, as you turned nineteen, your mother kicked you out. Naturally, you lived at a friend's house for a short while until you had enough money to rent a new apartment close to your university. The fact is, out of all the websites, Craig's List was the one you used when looking for this apartment complex.
Fairly speaking, the apartment building looked normal—at least from your own vantage point—and had the required utility. Mail from the outside, a laundry facility, and a smoking section. Though you occasionally light one, you do not smoke. Conversely, your friend Julie smoked as if her lungs were not burning. She never listened to your advice about not smoking three times a day.
With a big huff from your lungs, you toppled the last box outside of your chamber. Steve and Wanda were two people who assisted you in getting settled. Grading them for helping you arrange things in your new room, you turned around with a friendly smile.
“Thank you again, Mr. Rogers,” you said as you shook his hand. “This room is pretty big.”
“No one really rents here,” the man replied with a small smile on his face. “It’s the least I can do. You know, especially that you’re a student.”
You chuckled, turning your head away. “Please, I don’t even want to hear about that.”
“How old are you?” Wanda asked with a curious look on her face. 
“I just turned 20 last month,” you said with a pained groan. It is not so ridiculous given your connection with your mother; you did not forget the time she kicked you out of the house. “How about you?”
She smiles. “We’re the same age! If you have time, maybe you could stop by my room. It’s just on the left corner of the building.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
You both fell into silence until Steve held his hands together, staring at Wanda and then back at you. “Well, you should settle in. If you need anything, I’m just downstairs. You know the number of my apartment, you can just knock at anytime.”
“Steve, should we tell her about N—”
“We also want to inform you not to go to the upper floor,” Steve interrupts Wanda and says Your eyebrows wrinkled as you looked at the girl and saw her covering her face on her shoulder. “We have a friend who can be very... mean. She doesn’t like anyone going to her floor and she’s technically also the owner of this building.”
“Really? Oh,” you huffed, wondering who they were talking about. “Don’t worry, I will not go up there.”
Steve put his hand on your biceps and patted. “Thanks, kiddo. Anyway, just knock on our doors if you need any help.” 
You closed the door and sighed longingly as soon as they left your room. Today was going to be a long day of you sorting every box you had in this room; you would most likely desire take-out after all this chaos. You considered the woman living on the top floor as you were making your bed. What did she look like? When they claimed the woman was peculiar, what did they mean? So many thoughts crossed your head, trying to figure out who the woman was they were talking about. You shrugged, minded your own business, and soon nodded off. 
———
Late at night, you placed an order for a pizza, tried to watch a movie on your laptop, and visited a website none of your friends knew you were first visiting. Almost as if it were Omegle, the service allowed users to communicate with total strangers—and you could add them as friends via chat. Alone, you were eating a slice of pizza and texting a few people from the website. Carl, a male, asked whether he might have coffee with you tomorrow afternoon, but you gently turned him down since you just moved in. When, really, you have no interest in men. You consider them not as a lover but rather as a need.
Though it sounds horrible, that is reality. Men are often cruel, while women can communicate with you through their elegant, luxurious words. You enjoyed the sensation when a woman complements you for not just your appearance but also for the way you talk from your mind. It was not surprising that they adored you for your beauty; sometimes it can feel fantastic, but you wanted to be really understood—not only by appearance. And so, after some time, you were ready to shut your laptop until you noticed an email sign on top left.  
Someone has left you a message. 
You boldly opened the message and found a woman called Natalia messaged. As you went over her message, you grinned.
Natalia: Hey there! Are you new here?
You: no not really lol xD i’ve been using this website since a year ago.
Natalia: Strange :P I never saw you on my suggestions. Do you have an age limit to 40 plus?
You: yeah! i wanted to try something new
Natalia: Hm. Maybe that’s why I’ve never seen you here. Your name is Y/n? Or is that just a nickname? Haha.
You: nope, that’s definitely my name! And is your name not a nickname?
Natalia: Definitely not a nickname :)) 
As you spoke with this woman you could feel your heart beating and your body heating up like it was an oven. Since many people do this, you are simply hoping the conversation stays normal. Otherwise, things could go strange. They only pursue nudes, and you're honestly bored of that. You bit on your lower lip as you considered your response, but she slammed it right into you.
Natalia: How old are you? Are you really 20? ;((
You: yeah... heh. and are you really 40?
Natalia: Yup. It's weird, isn’t it?
You: are u looking for a sugar baby lol
You let out a quiet laugh as you waited for her response. 
Natalia: HAH! No, I’m not. I just really want to talk to someone. Is that bad these days? 
You: not really. i’m just a little traumatized by this website. everyone keeps asking me to send nudes. 
Natalia: I understand; sometimes young women ask me to send some too. So I understand how you feel :)
By the way, are you currently studying?
You: yessss! i study at NYU. :DD 
Natalia: Really?! That’s great! You know, when I was in my 20s, I tried to study there, but I lost all interest. It’s good that you still want to study :)))
Where do you live?
Given that you only connected with this woman online, it's best that you remain mum about your exact location; unfortunately, there are many predators in the world today. Even though it pains you deeply to lie to this woman, you couldn't help but chew on your lower lip as you considered telling a lie. Before you could mention that you lived at this new apartment, a thud on the floor interrupted you. With a quick turn of your head, you strode over to the door and opened it.
From over her shoulder, a woman shot you a lifeless stare, and you felt inadequate. You stepped outside and asked, “A-Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” Grumbling under her breath, the woman made her way to the staircase. She picked up the paper bag and proclaimed, “Who are you supposed to be?”
You gulped down your saliva and muttered, “I’m new here.”
Turning her head away from you, the mysterious woman—who seemed like the most stunning woman you'd ever seen—muttered something in Russian that you couldn't quite decipher. Her boots thudded loudly as she walked upstairs, shaking her head dismissively. The door slams shut, and your body twitches in response. 
The woman was, in fact, very intimidating.
And strange. 
And mean. 
As you shut the door, you sigh and try to comprehend that the woman might have been going through a difficult time. Steve was spot-on from the start: the second floor is not a good place to be. Reason being, you might get booted out if you indulged your curiosity. You sat back down on the bed and swiftly typed back to Natalia, who was waiting for your response; the once-bustling city of New York was now peaceful. You shut the curtains. Somehow, you wish she had been waiting for you.
You: sorry... some mean neighbor was at my door. Lollll
Natalia: It’s okay :)) It’s late there, darling. Aren’t you supposed to be asleep? 
She referred to you as "darling" and tossed your head back onto the pillow. You struggle to suppress your scream. As you let out a heavy sigh while you mentally resorted to thoughts of Natalia, completely disregarding the brief encounter you had with the unfamiliar woman just moments before. Having an attraction to older women was undeniable; it was just your personality. With a hint of excitement building inside of you, you snatched your laptop from the foot of the bed and began typing away, taking matters into your own hands.
God, you were such a fool.
You: yeah but i have to finish my pizza before i go to bed!
how about you?
Natalia: Can’t. I have work ;(( 
Talk to me tomorrow, okay? I like this conversation that we are having. ;)) 
Even though you were unhappy that she had to leave, you couldn't help but notice that it was getting close to two in the morning. You wanted to stay up all night, so you sigh and type on your keyboard. 
You: okay! :D gnnn x
Natalia: Goodnight, darling. 
Your mind was at peace with Natalia while you slept, which hasn't happened in a long time. What does she look like when you meet her face to face? Was she attractive? Even though you hadn't laid eyes on her face, you were certain that she was. Despite this, you were hoping to ask about sneak peeks so that you could avoid sleepless nights in the future. However, you recalled that you had met an unknown woman on the internet—a self-assured person. You definitely wouldn't cross paths with her in person.
Right?
Tumblr media
yes ik a repost eugh
515 notes · View notes
cipheramnesia · 2 months
Text
Hmm, not to detract from the absolutely wild display of racism and transphobia and general out of control bigotry directed at Imane Khelif from the radical feminism peanut gallery or nothing. But and however.
The rush in progressive spaces to attribute characteristics to her, like elevated testosterone and/or being intersex, speaks to a need for better nuance and delicacy on our end. It's complicated because we want to support intersex people against the appalling amount of institutional and general violence and disenfranchisement they experience. And knowing the way hormone levels vary from person is important in understanding how sex and gender aren't nearly as binary as most people assume. The general intentions were good, and shouldn't be discouraged. More like, just that we ought to take a minute to figure out if we know what we're talking about.
Because on the other side of the radfem peanut gallery is rushing in to assume personal information we don't know, but which we accept as contributing to her abilities and appearance. That is to say, there are unexamined racial and intersexist biases underlying the unspoken consensus that her body was somehow uniquely different that it needed to be explained by something other than "this is how people who train extensively for the sport of boxing tend to look."
That doesn't preclude her being intersex or whatnot, only that the foundation of the radfem argument rests on "this woman's appearance is deviant," in ways connecting back to racism and attitudes towards intersex bodies. And when we inadvertently buy into the foundational premise of their bigotry, we also inadvertently perpetuate the inherent bigotry in the assumption, by responding with "that deviant body of a woman of color is intersex."
Anyway, the point I'm trying to get around to here is Imane Khelif looks like a boxer. She's tall and has the kind of muscles a boxer has, regardless of hormones or being intersex or race or anything else. Being intersex comes in many shapes of bodies, the same as perisex bodies. But assuming a body must be intersex because we feel like it confirms deep rooted prejudice about what intersex bodies are is also an expression of that bias.
These things are rife with complications built on centuries of prejudice and systemic oppression, and there will never be a way to talk about it that's simple, perfectly true forever, and easy. It means sometimes we have to take a frustrating amount of time to try and unpack what's happening, and maybe even not say anything at all but probably also try to resist too many epic slams on terfs that are like inadvertently slamming our other disenfranchised groups, basically. I think. I'm not sure I did this very well either. But those undercurrents of bias affect us so like... be mindful and try to be kind.
501 notes · View notes
thewidowsledger · 2 months
Text
Secrets Behind Our Dreams
Chapter 13: Option | 6.3k
© thewidowsledger 2024 - DO NOT REPUBLISH AND PLAGIARISE
Tumblr media
Summary: You are a club dancer; a stripper. Natasha is a respected notorious mob boss. What would happen if your paths happened to cross one night? The only thing you knew about each other was your dreams, and neither of you knew what the other was.
Pairing: Mob Boss Natasha Romanoff x Stripper Female Reader
Warnings: 18+, bad writing, making out, smut, top!Natasha, Natasha has a penis, bottom!reader, cunnilingus, fingering (r receiving), arguing, cursing, hostage taking, drugging and kidnapping (I really don't wanna add this because it's a huge spoiler lol)
Author's Note: I added additional details on chapter 12 a few days ago after it was posted, so for those who have already read chapter 12, you might want to read it again because you might have read the unupdated version.
I am not a ballerina nor a professional one, I just wrote what I have researched so pls excuse my stupid mistakes here. This is not proofread and I wrote this chapter in a rush ;')) we are here to burn the slow xD and finally answer who's a lot better? Your vibrator or Natasha?
Navigation | Masterlist | Series Masterlist
You began to back away, contemplating your next move and your instinctive act of kissing her. Natasha suddenly took hold of you, her sly hands slipping gently on your lower back. She then pulled you back to her, pulling you into a passionate, heated kiss. This time it's not just a lingering kiss on the cheek, not just for a fraction of a second.
The kiss grew more passionate and heated with each passing second. You found yourself moaning against Natasha's mouth, the sounds escaping your lips involuntarily.
There was an undeniable hunger and need in the way Natasha's tongue fought for dominance in your mouth, and you let her have it, giving her control as she ravaged you with her lips—almost as if she couldn't get enough of you. You could only grip her shoulders, thumbs digging into her neck creating a crescent mark in her skin.
Natasha pulled away suddenly, her lips leaving you—leaving you wanting more. You almost chased her mouth, the string of saliva connecting your lips together.
Her gaze upon you was calm and collected, but beneath the surface, you can see the hunger and the dark desire in her eyes. She looked at you as if you were her last meal and she was starving. Her gaze landed on your agape plump mouth again.
“What if you could be all those three at once?”
You looked at her, still trying to catch your breath after the hungry kiss, “What?”
“You heard me.” She husked, her mouth inch closer to yours.
“Wh—” you breathe, “What do you mean?”
She leaned in dangerously closer, her voice dropping to a more sultry tone as she responded, “Well, I suppose it's my job to make sure you don't have to resort to those two options of yours. After all, I wouldn't want you becoming someone else's trophy.”
You felt a shiver course through you as her hand traced down the curve of your back, her touch electric against your skin as she pulled you even closer that you can feel the bulge against her jeans.
“But I’ll offer you a third option,” she continued, her tongue darted out in a swift second, slowly licking her lips as if savoring the remnants you left in her mouth. “You can be all those three at once. A degree holder which you already are, and…”
“Be my personal stripper and my trophy wife.”
The offer were bold and unexpected, yet somehow, they felt right coming from her mouth.
And only a dumb person would decline that offer.
Your breath coming in sharp pants as you look up at her, your eyes captivated by her dilated pupils and parted lips.
“I…I’m a virgin, Nat…” you stuttered in a whisper, your cheeks turning red at your admission.
“That’s not what I asked of you, detka…” her piercing green eyes studying you in a way that made your heart race faster than normal. “But if you're gonna be my wife, I guess I’ll have to know that.”
“I’m gonna ask you again…” her eyes never left yours, you can feel her breath fanning over your lips.
“Can you be my personal stripper and my trophy wife?”
She actually didn't have to ask, again.
You couldn't resist anymore. You surged forward, pulling Natasha into a fierce kiss. Your lips crashed together as your tongues danced in an intimate embrace. You locked your arms around her neck as she scooped your ass up, wrapping your legs around her waist. She carried you over until you could feel the cold pole against your back.
Natasha's lips moved down to your neck, leaving a trail of kisses in their wake. Her breath was hot against your skin as she teased you with soft nips and licks. The sensation sent shivers down your spine, making it hard for you to keep still.
She slowly lowered you back to your feet, her hands now working to unbutton your silk top.
With your top completely off, Natasha let her gaze wander down your body, taking in every curve and inch of skin. Her eyes gleamed with desire as she traced her fingers along the edge of your lace bra.
"You're so fucking beautiful, detka."
And with that, your bra is completely out of your body.
Natasha's hands were now on your breasts, caressing and kneading them as if trying to memorize every inch of your body.
“Is this okay? Detka?” She asked, eyeing you for any sign of discomfort.
“Please, Nat. Make me yours.”
And she did.
Natasha immediately leaned down, her mouth replacing her fingers on your nipple. She sucked and teased it with her tongue, causing you to arch my back with pleasure.
Her mouth was all over you, her tongue tracing a hot, wet path down your body. She moved your legs open and lowered herself between your legs that made you shudder. When she's finally kneeling down in front of you, you let her tug your silk pajamas together with your panties until they're pooling down your feet. She then brought your right leg over her shoulder.
She looked up at you with those piercing dilated green orbs before her tongue flicked against your clit.
“Oh fuck!” Both of your hands gripped her braided hair tightly from the pleasure as she continued to lap you.
Natasha pulled back from you for a moment, her lips glistening with your arousal. “You taste heavenly,” she purred, her voice husky with desire as she locked eyes with you. Her gaze was intense and full of hunger, making you tremble with need.
She brought herself back into you, moaning and sending even more pleasure through your body as she expertly brought you to the edge. This time she plunged one finger inside you with a hunger that matched your own. You can feel the rough texture of her finger through your core but it was immediately coated with your arousal.
Natasha still managed to smirk as she continued to eat you out, it's just one finger and she could feel your tightness clenching around her finger, pulling her deeper inside. That made her crave for you even more.
It has been so long since you had a vibrator inside you, but this one's not a vibrator and you would do anything to come right now.
Her tongue focused on licking and sucking your clit while her forefinger came in and out of your hole, fingering you in rhythmic thrusts that sent waves of pleasure coursing through your body.
“Oh god, fuck, Natasha!” you gasped, your right hand flew to your mouth, muffling your cries of pleasure. She's for sure a lot better than any vibrator you had in your whole life.
Natasha's fingers moved faster and deeper, pressing against that sweet spot inside you. The wet sound of her lapping your core and her finger pushing in and out of your tight hole.
“Oh, Nat I’m gonna!”
And you finally lost all control, crying out in release as your orgasm overtook you. Your body shook and trembled, every muscle tensed as you rode out the waves of pleasure Natasha brought you.
Natasha swiftly pulled your panties and silk pajamas back in place as she stood. You were still high from pleasure and the only thing that keeps you steady is the pole behind you. Your hands are still tangled in her hair and she's now in front of you, she eyed you as she slowly licked her lips and her arousal coated finger. Despite you being high in pleasure, you didn't miss that moment and you could only bite your lip at the sight of her. Your hands moved to her cheeks and desperately pulled her into a kiss, you moaned as you tasted yourself in her mouth.
Natasha gently pulled away and took her leather jacket and let it hang it to your shoulders to cover your bare chest. She now swiftly carried you in a bridal style.
“You did so good for me, detka. So good.” she murmured in your ears, pressing a light kiss against it.
You both left the room, leaving your silk top and lacy bra behind.
“Maria, we need to tighten up the security,” Natasha said, her voice brooking no argument. “It's not secure if Yelena can just waltz in unannounced like this.”
Maria sighed, crossing her arms, “Did you two talk?”
“If by 'talk' you mean papers scattered on the floor, broken glasses, and a slightly bruised wall,” she responded casually—too casually, “then yes, we talked.”
Maria sighed once again, a sense of weary resignation in her eyes. She had grown up with Natasha, witnessing firsthand the tumultuous relationship between her and her sister. When Natasha had decided to start building her own empire, Maria had been the first one to offer her support—she was even the one who told Natasha to start her own business so she could finally get away from her family.
“There was a change of plans,” Maria confirmed to Natasha, “Is it true that you weren't able to finish the meeting that was held here earlier? Because the associates asked to move to a different location.”
Natasha already knew about this and she nodded in confirmation. It was supposed to be done but your unexpected appearance disrupted the flow of the meeting, but Natasha didn't blame you, though, because she liked the events that followed after that.
If she would have you in that position again—you gripping her hair—pushing and bucking your core down to her mouth as you try to muffle your cries while she eats you out. Hell, she would let you disrupt every meeting she’ll have.
“You good?”
Maria's voice pulled Natasha out of her reverie, and she tried to shake off the thoughts that had been preoccupying her mind just moments ago. A faint blush crept onto her cheeks as she hastily responded, “Yeah, I'm good.”
Maria just hummed but she clearly knows what's going on in the redhead's mind.
“I had Y/N’s clothes that were left in that room put in the laundry.”
Natasha swallowed a lump on her throat as Maria walked towards her, “You might wanna tie your hair back.”
Natasha's hands instinctively went to her braid, her fingers tangling in the thick strands of hair as she pulled it over her shoulder. The hair tie had already been removed, leaving her braid slightly loose in its end.
“You left this too.” She placed a plain black hair tie on her desk, you might have accidentally tugged it while you two…
“Damn, Nat I didn't know that's the purpose of the room you asked me. I thought it was a studio or something.” Maria raised a brow before heading to Natasha's office door.
“Hey! It-it is a studio!” Natasha couldn't help but feel a little defensive as Maria teased her. She tried to maintain her composure, although the faint blush on her cheeks betrayed the things that were going into her mind.
She made it for you, it is a studio, at least that's how she planned it to be.
“Sure…sure, but I wouldn't get shocked if it would turn into a sex den.” Maria teased once again, winking at her best friend before she shut the door.
“Hey! Maria! Comeback here!”
You slowly blink your eyes open, feeling the soft silk of the sheets against your skin. As you push the comforter aside, realization dawns upon you—you're not wearing anything on your top, and Natasha's jacket is lying haphazardly on the pillow beside you.
Memories of the previous night flood your mind, a cocktail of sensations and emotions. You can still feel the remnants of her touch on your skin and the scent of her perfume lingers on the jacket—on you, sending a shiver down your spine.
With wide eyes, you quickly rush towards the full-length mirror in your room. As you look at your reflection, a wave of surprise and a little bit of shock washes over you. The marks on your skin it's like a roadmap outlining Natasha's path along your body.
You carefully trace your fingers down from your neck, tracing the marks that continue down to the valley of your breasts.
“Be my personal stripper and my trophy wife.”
“Fuck…” you screw your eyes shut at the memories.
Every touch, every caress, every sensation that Natasha had brought out in you came rushing back like a tidal wave. The need for her, the aching desire for her touch, was overwhelming. You closed your eyes tightly, your body instinctively reacting to the recollections of her lips and hands on your skin.
Your eyes scan the table next to your bed, and you spot a white box adorned with red ribbons. Curiosity piqued, you reached out to the box and saw a note tucked into the lid.
“A small trophy, for my wife.”
You bite your lip to the words of Natasha's note. The thought of being marked and claimed in this way awakened a primal part of you that longs to be desired and owned by her.
As you peer inside the box, you find that it contains a single item, a beautiful pair of pink pointe shoes. Your eyes start to glisten with tears as you gently touch the shoe. This one was different, so much more exquisite and perfect compared to the one you had before. Those were cheap, thrift store finds that you had to painstakingly repair and patch up. This new shoe seemed so much... better. It looked elegant and more importantly, it looked comfortable. But you weren't sure if you could wear it; your feet were used to the pain and torture that came with the cheap shoes you usually danced in. You let another tear fall down your cheek before you put the box down and slipped onto some comfortable clothes.
You had walked to the room Natasha said she made for you, seeking solace and a place to immerse yourself in your dance. An unfamiliar music played softly in the background, a random selection that you didn't recognize but chose to dance to anyway.
As you continued to dance, you looked at the wide wall mirror eyeing your reflection, you observed your movements. The music pulsated through the room, you began to perform a series of ballet moves that you’ve learned on your own. You're a quick learner, you’ve only seen these steps at least once and you can do it neatly in a blink of an eye.
Your body moves with grace and precision. You twirled in elegant pirouettes, extending your leg and pointing your toes during tendus, gracefully arched yourself in arabesques, and leaped through the air with powerful grand jetes. You allow yourself to lose in the movement, each step and twirl flowing effortlessly, your body becoming one with the rhythm and the space around you.
Your dancing was interrupted by the sound of the door opening forcefully. You turned to see Natasha standing at the threshold, her breath labored and her shoulders tensed.
“Natasha?” you ran towards her, your heart in yout throat when you saw the blood seeping through the fabric of her shoulders. The sight stopped you in your tracks and you reached out to touch her, your fingers trembling as they traced over the wetness of the fabric.
“I’ll find Maria.” you said firmly, trying to pull your wrists free from Natasha's grip. But she tugged you back, her eyes pleading with you not to leave her. “No,” she whispered, her was voice broken and vulnerable. “Please don't go. There's a kit behind those speakers," Without a second thought, you ran towards the speakers, moving them aside to reveal a small black case. You opened it up to find bandages, gauze, and painkillers.
Natasha walked slowly towards the pole, her body aching from the injury she had sustained. She sat down heavily, resting her back against the cool metal, and let out a deep sigh of relief, “The shoe fits perfectly?” she asked as she closed her eyes.
“Y-yeah, t-thank you,” you managed to say. And Natasha just hummed but you can feel that she was smiling.
You could feel your mind racing with panic, a million thoughts swirling uncontrollably in your head. Natasha needed you and you are struggling to keep it together. You could hear the blood rushing in your ears as you ran your hands through your sweaty hair, your heart pounding in your chest.
Natasha opened her eyes and looked at you kneeling in front of her. She could see the fear in your eyes and knew that you were trying to keep it under control. She smiled softly, trying to reassure you, “Come here,” she gently took your arm and pulled you on her lap.
“This seems normal to you.” You huffed, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall.
It is indeed normal for Natasha to walk back from her latest business, her body covered in bruises and scratches, her clothes tattered, and a gunshot wound on her thigh—it's a lifestyle.
She tugged at the fabric of her sleeves, pulling them up to reveal a fresh cut on her arm, she was stabbed. She winced slightly as you began to clean it, her eyes focusing on you as she gently circled her thumbs on your waist.
“Does Maria know about this?” you quivered.
“No, later maybe, yeah,” rambled, groaning as she adjusted herself. Making you move slightly on her lap.
“I need to call her,” you insisted, but Natasha shook her head, digging her fingers on your waist, “No, you're gonna stay here.”
As you finished cleaning her wound, the room fell into a moment of silence. Natasha sat quietly, her gaze unfocused as she took deep breaths, trying to steady herself. You couldn't help but feel a wave of anxiety wash over you, wondering if you were doing everything right.
The silence became too much to bear, and just as you were about to break the tension, Natasha spoke up. “You scared?” she asked, her voice softer than usual. In that moment, all the worry and fear you had been holding back came pouring out.
“Of course I am!”
You harshly wiped the tears that started streaming down your face. Natasha watched you cry, a pained expression in her eyes. She felt guilty, like she was putting you through unnecessary emotional turmoil.
She moved a strand away from your face, “I don't like seeing you like this,” Natasha whispered, so softly that you almost didn't hear her. But the words were enough to make you stop you, your hands frozen in mid-air as you looked at her. Your eyes were puffy and glossy.
“Natasha,” you breathe, “I don't like seeing you like this too,” you managed to say between sobs, you softly jabbed her chest with your finger. You cannot bear to see her in pain too, her going home with wounds, bruises, stabs, gunshots and for her it's nothing? Maybe for her it is, but for you it's not. What if she comes home cold? Lifeless?
“You don't deserve this.”
Now, you huffed hearing it from her, “Taking everything back?” your face hardened into a smirk as you wiped the tears out your face and quickly moved away from her lap. Natasha furrowed her brows, confused at your question. She tried to chase you to make you stay in that position, she wanted you close to her—now you just moved away.
“So you asking me to be your personal stripper and your trophy wife was what?” Your voice trembled slightly as you voiced your thoughts, “Out of lust? To get to me? To use me?” you chuckled slightly.
“Detka, that's not what it is,” her voice cracked, she didn't want you to think that she was just using you. She never intended that.
“You wouldn't wish a life with me!”
“What if I want this, Natasha?” You asked the question before you could even think, “What if I want this? What if I want you, Natasha? What if I want to be with you?” The words tumbled out of your mouth, each one a confession that left you feeling exposed and vulnerable. You gulped the lump on your throat, turning your back at her as you sob uncontrollably.
Natasha hesitated for a moment, her heart pounding in her chest as she processed your words. She watched as you turned away from her and her instincts kicked in. Without thinking, she stood despite the pain on her shoulder. Then, she moved closer, her hands gently reaching for your waist.
At first, Natasha was taken aback when you swatted her hands away. You turned to look at her, she saw the clear view of your face—the uncertainty and pain in your eyes, followed by a flash of something else - desire? She didn't think twice as she reached for you again, pulling you closer by your elbows.
“Natasha, no,” your voice barely above a whisper. You tried to move to push her away but Natasha was determined. She pulled you closer still, your face just inches from hers now. Her eyes locked on yours.
“Y/N, don't fight me,” gently, her hands moved down to your cheek and you didn't fight back. Tears started streaming down your face again as you cling to her touch, she looked at you before closing the gap of your lips, pulling you into a searing kiss. She could taste the saltiness of your tears on her lips and it only made her want to hold you tighter, wanting to stay like this with you forever.
You managed to pull away from her and Natasha tried chasing your lips but you immediately stepped back. You stood there for a couple of seconds, waiting for her to say something, you wanted her to say something but no words came out of her mouth.
You wiped your tears away and swallowed a sob before speaking, “I…uhh, I’ll find Maria.” With that, you turned and left the room not daring to look at her because you know what's going to happen if you do.
You just found clinging to Yelena as she drives her bike away from the manor. You just called Maria to get Natasha and you went into the kitchen when Yelena approached you and proposed an idea, suggesting a ‘little escapade’ as she calls it when she saw you all vulnerable alone after your encounter with her sister. And without hesitation, you found yourself nodding in agreement. The manor had been stifling and you desperately craved a breath of fresh air.
You were easy, too easy.
Yelena stopped the bike at a nearby ice cream place, she turned to you and inquired, “So, where do you wanna go?”
Your response was a nonchalant shrug, not having any specific destination in mind. Sensing your lack of a preference, Yelena grinned. “Let's grab some ice-cream then,” she said, gesturing towards the ice-cream parlor.
Yelena immediately went straight to the counter and placed the order for both of you, not even bothering to ask what you wanted. You sat silently, patiently waiting for her to finish. It was your first time leaving the manor in what felt like forever, and you relished the opportunity to be out and about once again. But as you sat there waiting, your mind began to drift to Natasha once again. Thoughts of her started to plague your mind, you couldn't help but replay the argument in your head, recalling every word and the addicting touch of hers. You tried to make sense of what had happened and how things had spiraled out—how you spiraled out.
You want her, you want to be with her. You long to hear the simple words that she used to soothe your worries and fears, that you just have to stay and be with her and no harm will come after you. Yet, deep down, maybe you yearned for more than just those words, maybe you wanted her to say the same thing—that she wants you and she wants to be with you.
“Ice-cream for your thoughts?” Yelena waved the ice-cream cone on your face, pulling you out of your deep thoughts of her sister.
You immediately took it and walked out of the ice-cream parlor and Yelena walked after you, “How much do I owe you?” You asked.
“Why? Do you have money with you?” She asked back, huffing knowing that you have none.
“No,” you replied quietly, savoring the taste of the strawberry ice cream. “I only have a black dress, a pair of heels, and a knife,” you mumbled. “And lingerie,” you added as an afterthought.
In truth, you barely had anything that was truly your own. All you had were the clothes you had worn the night you worked at Valkyrie's and that's everything you got since ending up in Natasha's penthouse.
After finishing your ice cream, you saw a nearby library. And you made a bold request, despite your attempts to keep your facade of aloofness intact. You tried to maintain a certain distance from Yelena. Yes, you accepted her ‘little escapade’ but that doesn't mean that you had forgotten how she had treated you since the day you two met. Her harsh attitude and scathing insults still echoed in your mind and you couldn't help but feel a pang of resentment and wariness whenever you were near her. But right now, you have no time for that, you want peace and a breather.
“I want to go inside,” you said, your voice betraying a hint of pleading despite your efforts to sound indifferent. “Please.”
“You look cute when you beg.”
Irritation flared in you at Yelena's mocking tone and teasing words. You couldn't help but roll your eyes in response, you licked your thumb after you finished your ice-cream to get the small crumbs left of the cone. With doe eyes, you stared at her that caused her to almost choke at her ice-cream.
“Yeah, thanks, your sister hears it a lot,” you replied with a wink, before crossing the street towards the direction of the library leaving her behind.
“Zlyushchaya suka.” (Feisty bitch) She whispered under breath before running after you.
As you entered the library, the aroma of old books and the hush of whispered conversations enveloped you. You approached the counter and without wasting any time, you signed your name on the guest book, eager to immerse yourself in the library's collection of books. Yelena followed suit, walking over to the counter and casually scratching her name onto the page.
As you maneuvered through the library, you were drawn to a section filled with the works of Emily Dickinson. Your eyes landed on her collection, and a sense of comfort washed over you. You had a deep fondness for the poet's work, and you eagerly reached out to pick up one of her books.
Yelena, meanwhile, was casually browsing nearby. When she saw what book you had chosen, her eyes widened momentarily,
“You read Dickinson too?”
“Wild nights, wild nights, were I with thee wild nights should be, our luxury…” You lazily recited just to prove her that you do read Dickinson's works. You grabbed a book that caught your eye and walked towards the blonde, you placed it on the top of the book she's reading.
“Grumpy Monkey,” Yelena read the title to herself. Her mouth agaped slightly offended at what you did, she immediately immersed herself to look for a perfect book to give you.
Yelena approached you with a cocky smirk, slamming a book onto the table. With a hint of mockery in her tone, she asked, “You live there?” you looked at the book entitled: Bitch Planet, Volume 1: Extraordinary Machine
You flashed a book in her face, as if you're ready for this, “Mr. Author Lewis here wants to give you an advice on how to raise your I.Q.” She read the title in her mind, How to Raise Your I.Q. by Eating Gifted Children.
“Okay, that’s alarming,” Yelena pointed out, which made you giggle. She returned to look for more books and spotted a book with a hilariously controversial title. She couldn't resist the urge to call out to you in a loud whisper, waving the book in her hand. “Hey, hey!”
Eating People is Wrong you read, despite the distance between you, Yelena's infectious laughter managed to reach your ears. Her boisterous chuckle filled the library, causing a few heads to turn in your direction. You immediately shush her causing the blonde to slowly and pretend to look for a book to read.
“Games You Can Play with Your Pussy; and Lots of Other Stuff Cat Owners Should Know.” You read in disgust and you turned to look at Yelena who was sitting in front of you, her eyes watered as she fought back the tears forming in her eyes, her shoulders shaking with suppressed laughter.
“Terrible book title,” you remarked. She pulled another one that made you roll your eyes, did she really just collect books with controversial, alarming and terrible titles?
You sighed as you read the title again. “Still Stripping After 25 Years,” you gasped, which made Yelena slap the table, still trying not to burst into laughter. You didn't even read the blurb of the book before you judged, “They should not put this in a public library!” You whisper-shouted.
“Okay, that's enough,” you chastised her, she was sitting on her seat in an almost slouching manner and you found yourself crossing your arms across your chest as you raised a questioning brow at her but she instantly straightened up and adjusted her vest.
It feels like you're with a kid, honestly.
“I like your vest.”
Yelena’s eyes widened at your compliment, “I just absolutely love vests with lots of pockets. They're so practical, and they just have that perfect blend of style and function, you know?” she giddily rambled. You just hummed as you flipped the book you’re reading.
“It's actually Natasha’s,” the revelation made you look at her, “I took all her clothes when she left.”
“How long has it been since she left? If you don't mind me asking…” you inquired carefully, hoping that you didn't cross any line.
“18 years, papa made her manage the business with him at 16 then she left when she was 19.”
“She started that young?” Yelena just hummed, her energy immediately dropping down.
“You know, your sister loves you,” Yelena immediately eyed you after you said those words, “Even though you always come around her property with no invitations,” you chuckled as you closed the book that you had no plans on finishing reading.
She just shook her head slightly as if she's trying to focus her mind and remove thoughts in her brain.
She hates you, she reminded herself.
“Let's go out, go for a walk.” You gave her a smile and grabbed her hand, the closeness making the blonde guilty.
As you and Yelena stepped outside the library, you noticed a small box on the sidewalk, filled with six adorable puppies, each of them looking at you with curious eyes. A $20 sign hung over the box, indicating that they were for sale. Poor adorable puppies just being sold?
Yelena's phone suddenly vibrated from her pocket, causing her to break away from your grasp. She looked at you apologetically and told you that she will just get it for a second. You nodded and informed her that you will go see the puppies, you pointed the direction so she'll know where you are before you both went your separate ways.
“The delivery should be done in 15 minutes, we’ve waited for so long.”
Yelena's heart dropped as she saw the text on the small screen. Guilt and dread, that's what she feels right now. She made a huge mistake on getting too close to you, this wasn't supposed to happen, she never intended to let her guard down and warm up to you.
She hated the fact that you have no crumb of flaws in you, well yes, of course you have your own flaws but it's not enough for her to hate. She tried testing you as if she was digging the pandora's box, it's nowhere to be found. She can't find any reason to hate you.
And she hate you for that. She hates you, she did. She hated you.
Yelena's heart raced as she desperately searched for you, but you were nowhere in sight. She spotted a two black van meters away from her and panic gripped her as she frantically looked for you. But suddenly, she saw you waving at her, a small puppy cradled in your arms. She immediately ran towards your direction.
“Can we get this puppy for Natasha? You know your sister always wanted a pup—”
You were taken aback when Yelena withdrew a wad of cash from her pocket and swiftly pulled out a $100 bill. Without a moment's hesitation, she grabbed your arm and quickly yanked you away from the scene, she wasn't even able to get her change.
“I need to get you back to the manor.”
The golden retriever puppy was whining in your arms and you cooed it even though you're being dragged by the blonde.
Yelena's panic intensified as her gaze darted anxiously in different directions. She noticed the same van she saw earlier moving slowly, following closely behind the both of you. Her focus shifted to you, and she watched you coo at the puppy in your arms, blissfully unaware of the danger that was trailing behind. Yelena's heart wrenched as she realized that she had never intended for things to take this turn—with you.
Yelena fished out her motorcycle keys from her pocket. She quickly straddled the bike and turned on the ignition.
“Get in.”
Despite her brusque tone, you quickly obeyed her and swung your leg over the bike, settling in behind her. Suddenly, without any warning, she gunned the engine and the motorcycle shot forward, taking off like a rocket down the street. The small puppy in your arms gave a slight yelp, startled by the sudden movement. You instinctively cradled the furry bundle closer to your body.
“Can you drive slow?” you asked worrily as you try to balance yourself in the bike, you weren't holding anything for support just the little puppy in your arms.
As Yelena prepared to turn the corner, her eyes widened in horror as she suddenly saw a van blocking the road and she can't just maneuver around it. Yelena's heart raced, and she had no choice but to hit the brakes, bringing the motorcycle to a skidding halt. The puppy in your arms whimpered softly at the sudden stop. Yelena considered backtracking, but her hopes were dashed as she saw the van that had been pursuing you earlier was now blocking the return path as well.
“Yelena? What's happening?” You asked as you were practically being trapped by the two vans.
Yelena could only grip on the handlebars at your question, her knuckles turning white as she struggled to keep her composure. She didn't give an immediate answer, her gaze flickering between the van that blocked your path and the one behind, trying to figure out a way out. After a minute of contemplating, she gave up.
“Just stay here. I'm sorry.” Yelena told you, you nodded slightly as you adjusted yourself in the seat of her bike.
Why is she apologizing?
Yelena dismounted the motorcycle and slowly approached the van. The driver's door opened and a bald burly, threatening-looking man stepped out, a hardened scowl on his face.
The bald man's voice lowered into a menacing growl as he confronted Yelena. “You tryna run away from us?”
“No.”
The man's expression darkened and he took a step closer to her. “Give us the girl now,” he demanded, leaving no room for negotiation, though this is a negotiation.
In a snap Yelena seized the burly man and she held him like a shield, using him as a means to keep the others at bay. As the other men started to exit the van, their faces hardened and their hands reaching for their weapons, Yelena's eyes darted from one to the other.
“Let the girl go and I'll let this bald-headed demon man go.”
“Yelena what's happening?” You called out to her in a whimper.
“I'm sorry, Y/N. Please come here.”
You immediately obeyed her command, slowly stepping off the bike and moving closer to her. As you did so, you turned around, trying to keep an eye on the men who were approaching from behind.
As you stood behind Yelena, the weight of the situation started to sink in. Your heart pounded in your chest and fear gripped you. You clutched the puppy tightly, its small form shaking slightly in your arms. Panic coursed through your veins and you couldn't help but look around, searching for a way out or any sign of help. “Y-Yelena?” you stuttered.
“Y/N, forgive me. I promise I’ll get you back to Natash—”
She wasn't able to finish her words when she suddenly dropped to the ground, unconscious after being shot with a tranquilizer the men had fired at her. Your heart froze and you could barely comprehend what was happening.
“Yelena!” Your voice was filled with anguish as you called out to her, tears streaming down your face.
The man she has been holding captive earlier stalked towards you and yanked you by your arm. The suddenness of the grab made you release your hold on the puppy. The man's eyes roamed over your body and ripped your top, he quickly inspected your shoulders. Satisfied with what he saw, he glanced up at the other men and shouted, “This is the one!”
“Yelena!” you hollered as the man wrapped his arms around your waist and dragged you. Even in your disoriented state, your survival instincts kicked in. With all the strength you could muster, you tried to fight back against the man who was holding you.
“Fuck you!” You growled, you spat at the face of the man, he was really enraged as he wipe the spit on his face but when he poised to strike you a man intervened grasping his wrist.
“We cannot leave no marks on her,” he calmly said, a sinister smile starting to form on his face.
“Fuck you too!” You shouted, the adrenaline pumping through your veins gives you a momentary burst of courage.
He smirked at how feisty you are but he then shushed you and pressed a cloth over your nose and mouth, “You've brought us in so much trouble already, you're gonna pay for it.”
You never stopped to fight back but your limbs started to flail weakly, your attempts to kick and struggle against them proving futile.
The world blurred around you as tears streamed down your face, your voice hoarse from crying out Yelena's name once more before everything started to fade away and the last thing you saw was the small puppy nudging Yelena's unconscious body.
Secrets Behind Our Dreams: Masterlist
418 notes · View notes