Imagine, if you will, Respawn ending up in the least important town in all of Illinois hoping to lay low for a while whilst planning to completely wreck Damian’s shit only to get shot at by some rogue government agents, kill said government agents, accidentally out some meta kid to the entire town while he tries to keep him from killing more government agents (who have not stopped shooting at either of them), save him by coincidence while making his escape, and having to flee the state with said weird metahuman kid (he’s like the third person to ever treat him like an actual human so he decided not to leave him behind) on the world’s third-worst roadtrip in order to rock up to Batman’s actual house to convince him to clear their names and get rid of the anti-ecto acts, with his only point of bartering being him pinky promising that he’ll definitely stop trying to kill Damian this time
And all of this happens over the course of like three days
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It is so so so immeasurably fucked up that severe anxiety shares so many symptoms with heart problems because nothing is guaranteed to spike your anxiety like thinking you might have heart problems and also do you know what is bad for you if you have heart problems? Stress and anxiety!!! FUCK YOU!!!
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literally nobody asked for it, but here's my list of saltburn essays that i've slowly been drafting over the course of the last week which WILL be required reading for anybody trying to engage with me about this movie. my very personal saltburn 101 syllabus just dropped
A Wolf in Deer's Clothing: Saltburn's Attempt at Innocence
an examination of party costumes and our character's last attempts to masquerade as something they're not: felix—an angel, all-forgiving and all-knowing, something to be worshiped; and oliver—a prey animal, prey to class-divide, prey to saltburn, prey to felix.
thoughts about oliver specifically are loosely organized in my #bambi tag
A Midsummer Night's Mare: Farleigh Start as the Ultimate Victim of Saltburn
a farleigh character study, about the ways he was mistreated and manipulated at saltburn, about fighting to stay alive and the scars left behind by knowing when to give in
alternatively titled "QuickStart", may be adapted into a conclusive essay specifically focusing on oliver and farleigh's relationship
The Eye of the Beholder: On Saltburn's Voyeurism & Violence [working title]
how wealth and class pushes the catton's toward the volatile reality of being able to look, but not touch. on desire and the lack thereof, and portraying yourself as an object to be desired
may end up as two separate essays on wealth and aestheticism but i'm pushing toward a conclusive essay about the intersection of the two, which i feel is at the heart of saltburn
alternatively titled "Poor Man's Pudding: A Melvillian Approach to Saltburn's Class", again, may be adapted into it's own essay
Gender-Fluid: A Study in Sexuality and Saltburn's Desire to be Dry
a deep dive into the bodily fluids of saltburn and how oliver upsets the standard of men who are just so lovely and dry. on the creative choice to lean into the messy wetness of sex and desire and the audience's instinct toward repulsion
a celebration of the grotesque and an examination of why we would label it as such
least developed of the four, heavily inspired by @charnelpit's lovely post about the fluids in saltburn
if anybody is actually interested in any of these, i can work toward something closer to a finished piece instead of just bullet points and quotes in a google doc, but mostly this is so i can share my very brief takes on a multitude of themes in saltburn that have been haunting me
edit for people seeing this in the future: all posts about my essays are being organized into my #saltburn 101 tag if you’re interested in following these through to development!
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“Red team was so selfish looking past the cursed team like that” listen man they were thinking about it often, and had evidence they were cursed too. They were convinced they were cursed too. Bad (with Pierre’s help I’ll be honest) singlehandedly destroyed any sort of civil relations and good faith between the two teams and this shot Blue in the foot when they tried to make the case about them being cursed last minute, about trying to rig it in the cursed teams favor.
There was never a cursed team in the first place, it was all a tactic to build paranoia and that feeling of betrayal and to get them to tear eachother a part. And it worked super well! At the end, neither would listen to the other about their evidence, not with an honest open ear, not with the willingness to think the other team could be cursed. It’s not a case of ‘Red just refused to listen because they wanted to win more than they cared’ they thought they were cursed too - if they were selfish, then so were Blue in the same way.
Every time Red had tried to talk first early on, it was met with extreme violence - and with Bad consistently proving he’ll play dirty to win, they didn’t trust Blue enough to listen to them in the later game. Maybe they should have listened then. Maybe Blue have listened earlier. The game worked as intended to set them against eachother.
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I feel like being a Janitor at BHHS would be the equivalent to FNAF security guard.
Like there is a monster in Beacon Hills every other week, and it always makes it way to the school.
Like if it was a game, your job would be to avoid the Pack fighting the monster and hiding so the monster don't kill you. And then during the day your job would be to fix all the broken lockers, classroom doors, fix the walls, put in new windows.
Like the janitors would have to be paid more than the teachers for all the work they have to do.
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