#(( this book hurts me so much and i hate what theyre doing

[royalreef]

[sparrow-the-tired-lesbian]

thoughts on episode 2 (SPOILERS)

Oh don’t  tell me we get Sylki this episode 

OH MY GOD THEYRE WEARING TUXEDOS

MARRIED COUPLE LOKIUS

oh god no not Brad 

HA LOKI SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF HIM

Mobius you’re such a dummie

B15 MY BELOVED

OHOHO GET FUCKED BRAD

Mobius is gay panicking

BRAD WHAT KIND OF RUN IS THAT

OHOHO MAGIC

WHERE DID YA COME FROM WHERE DID YA GO WHERE DID YA COME FROM COTTON EYE LO

MOBIUS IS GAY PANICKINGGGGGG

*sings along to the theme song*

Ohhh b15 you’re lookin fine

There’s a jail in the TVA??? I forgot about that

bring it to my son

OUROBOROS WHERE ARE YOU

SON

Aww he talks to himself that’s cute

So smart

He’s gonna get so fed up with people bringing shit to him when he wrote a whole book about it

Sweet Casey

Married couple Lokius building their IKEA bed

CASEY READ THE GUIDEBOOK! WE STAN A GREAT BOI

I’m going to fight Brad

Brad is so right about Lokis character but damn Mobius going to defend him is kinda gay

Why do I feel like Brad is talking directly to me when he’s talking to-

DONT TALK ABOUT FRIGGA I WILL MURDER YOU BRAD

The sass on lokis tone I’m going to cry

Mobius reign in your boyfriend

Loki is scaring me actually

That sounded kinda sexual Loki my man

YOURE RIGHT BRAD

THERAPY

MOBIUS’S PET?

Yeah Mobius who were you

Oh jeez

Mobius is about to flip out

HE FLIPPED

Loki caring for his husband <3

Following each other <3

KISS NOW

THE PIE SCENE

Awe Loki with his little legs crossed he’s so adorable around Mobius

Yeah you lost it baby

Comfort your husband Loki

WASNT TACTICAL??? BABE YOU ATTACKED NYC

Talk about your feelings Mobius

Why would you thank him for kidnapping you Mobius?

Felt that about bad and good lemme tell ya

Would you quit it about Sylvie

OUROBOROS!!!!

Don’t get hurt baby I’ll cry

Uh oh

UH OH

BRAD????

Is he dead?

Aww man he’s alive

Round two of what babe

NEED ANOTHER SESSION???

HARDBALL TACTICS?!!!??!

WHAT ARE THESE WORDS YOURE SAYING

Big machine

He’ll torture you babe

Remembering things for their husband this is cute

Uh oh Loki what are you doing

LOKI STOP IT

LOKI 

stop asking about Sylvie for the love of god

ENJOY YOURSELF?!

Mobius you’re so sweet

YEAH BRAD DONT BRING UP A VILLAIN’S MOTHER

Kill him hon maybe we won’t have to deal with his dumb ass

Terrible awful things 

He’s lost his shit I love it 

Loki please this is going too far

Okay nice we made Brad suffer and Loki is being everything Mobius could want in a boyfriend

Mobius was in on it?!

OB WHAT DO YOU MEAN WERE GONNA DIE

*gasp* OUROBOROS AND CASEY MY NEW OTP

HES FANBOYING

AWWWW BABIES 

oh no world is dead

*sings McDonald’s jingle*

Where’s my wife

Awww she’s so proactive I love her so much

NO NO NO NOT SYLKI PLEASE NOT SYLKI

One Unhappy meal please

Talk less Loki 

Can Sylvie drive

CORRECT OMG MY WIFE

THIS IS MY BELOVED 

Leave her alone Loki please

Advertisement 

OH MY GOD MOBIUS IS ON SOME SYLKI HATE

“It’s cinema thank you very much”

Murder

QUICK CHANGE WITH SYLVIE

THEYRE KILLING RVERYTHING

IHOHO MURDER

COMPROMISED OF CIURSE BABY

OH NO

call your boyfriend Casey

Don’t hold hands

NO

uh oh

Bye bye Sylvie :)

Oh she’s back

What are we looking at

Oh no…

Those are people!

Uh oh Sylvie’s angry

I might as well just make a harem of marvel women I want to wife me up 

Don’t pull that Sylki bullshit on me

Mobius is sad Loki go comfort him

At least Sylvie had her life

Does she have a friend?

What’s going on between those two?!

I’m so confused

Post credits???

Why not?

[letmeaddalittlebitofspice]

GO season 2 spoilers!!!

“Aziraphale rejected Crowley”

Did we watch the same show???

Ever since 1941 with the books, Aziraphale has KNOWN that he is head over heels in love with Crowley. Michael Sheen said it himself!! Between the two of them, Aziraphale realized his feelings first. Of course he felt like he shouldn’t because that little angel is jam PACKED with religious trauma and catholic guilt. He never wanted to be without Crowley. Because they are the only two who understand eachother. And oh yeah- they’re GAY.

When Metacunt asks Aziraphale to be the new head angel, Aziraphales FIRST response is “but i don’t want to go back to heaven” because he doesn’t think he can take Crowley with him (and ofc bc he loves earth). When Meta offers that Aziraphale could make Crowley an angel too, Aziraphale starts to consider the offer. Crowley had helped Aziraphale understand that Heaven was toxic, but now Aziraphale has a chance to change it. He sees this as his chance to fix Heaven, save the Earth, AND be with Crowley, all at the same time.

But Meta knows Crowley won’t want to become an angel. He sees Aziraphale and Crowley working together as too powerful, together they are far too strong. We saw that with the massive miracle they combined on. BUT if Meta can control Aziraphale, he can control Crowley too. All he needed was the opportunity to take Aziraphale away from Crowley.

Aziraphale goes back to Crowley with what he thinks is the perfect solution to all of their problems. Crowley shuts him down, because he thinks that there is no saving Heaven. He likes the life that they have carved out for themselves on Earth and doesn’t want it to change. It’s the same argument from season 1. Crowley wants them to run away together and damn the rest. Aziraphale wants to stay and fix things.

When Crowley confesses, Aziraphale doesn’t say no. He never says that the feeling isn’t mutual. Want he’s saying is “yes, and we can be together in heaven.” But Crowley doesn’t want that. The miscommunication is Aziraphale thinks Crowley hates Heaven more than he loves Aziraphale, and Crowley thinks that Aziraphale loves Heaven more than he loves Crowley. AND THEYRE BOTH WRONG. Nina and Maggie were right, these two idiots don’t talk. Not about what really matters.

The kiss is angry. It’s full of frustration and regret. It’s Crowley saying “look at what you do to me. why can’t you stay for me.” Aziraphale kisses him back. He’s holding him close like he doesn’t want the kiss to ever stop. Cause once it does, Crowley will leave. They’re both shaking because there’s so much emotion in these 7 minutes. And isn’t that so human.

Back to my main point. Please note that Aziraphale is not the one that pulls away from the kiss. It’s Crowley that breaks it (always the first to run away, huh). And GOD. Aziraphale looks so hurt after the kiss. Crowley leaves and he touches his hand to his lips like he doesn’t want that feeling to go away. Meta walks back in, and for a short second Aziraphale thinks it’s Crowley, but when he sees it’s Meta he turns away and wipes his tears.

They are so perfect for eachother but holy fuck they really need this break so they can GET THEIR FUCKING SHIT TOGETHER.

anyways. i love them.

[sanzuballs]

theyre the type tooo… || part 2!

ft. monster trio + law

hello babygirls. i love doing hcs and u guys KNOW u love it so YEAHH. i just got done w all one piece dubbed episodes and im thinking abt rewatching one piece like a loser smh. mostly fluffy ☺️

—-

zoro would be the type of guy just to literally act nonchalant but he cant keep the cool guy act up.

“isnt this outfit just so cute?!” you chirped at him. it wasnt your usual outfit, it was much more revealing.

“mhm.” he said, barely looking over his shoulder then quickly going back to what he was doing.

then when you guys went out he would not shut up.

“arent you cold?” he’d ask. “take my jacket.” he’d demand. “i swear those guys were staring at you, hard.” he swore. he almost diced up a guy that he ASSUMED to cat called you.

not the type to call you “woman” and be a sex god that wants to do anal.

——-

sanji would be the type of guy to give you a nice massage.

“are you okay my sweet?” his head popped up when you let out a long sigh. “cmere.”

“im okay, just tense.” you gave him a weak smile.

“get on your stomach, let me help you.” he demanded you do it. “let me put some of my strength to use.”

after he drew hearts on your back and massaged it until you fell asleep, he gave you a kiss on the forehead and tucked you in and you two cuddled. that was probably the best nights’ sleep youve had in years.

not the type to sexually harrass you every single second and make you insecure.

———

luffy would be the type of guy to suck at aftercare until…. yikes btw if ur man dont do aftercare, leave dat hoe

“okay, y/n. that was good, huh? well that took alot of energy i need some meat!!” luffy put his hands on his hips and started out.

“luffy.. please..” you mummered out, for gods sake you were definitely fucked out, luffy never goes easy on you.

“hm? ya’ say something?” he turns around and meets with your teary eyes. “y/n?! whats wrong, you hurt??”

“no, i just want you to stay with me after we’ve been intimate, its called aftercare.” luffys expression softens into a sad one. he hates how he was the source of your discomfort. from then on, he never left your side after sex, even if he was starving.

no offense yall but luffy is not the type of man to share you with zoro and sanji like willingly.

——

law is the type of guy to want you on his lap so bad but never would admit it.

“law, ya’ busy?” you poke your head into his office, finding him sitting and studying a book.

“no, need anything?” he glances over to you.

“just wanna sit and spent time with you.” you shrug as you sit on a small desk next to his stacks of medical books.

“well okay, how about you sit somewhere else?” he perks up a eyebrow.

“law, where?” you were starting to get really confused with his actions. “ooohhh i get it, you want me on your lap, huh?” you finally noticed it, the way he made room for you to sit on his lap, the way his chair was pushed back, his book going to one hand, and the manspread he did.

“what?? no, i just didnt want you… knocking down… the-“ his stupid angry stammering was cut off by you sitting on his lap.

you felt his arm wrap around you as you snuggled into the crook of his neck.

“yeah, that hits the spot.” he gives you a kiss on the back of your neck.

would not be a completely different big huge cutie softie for u. sry. hes law.

[thirstingfortoxicmen]

dom male reader x sub sebastian sallow WHERE THEYRE THEYRE THEYRE ENEMIES N LIKE READER STARTS GETTING CLOSE W SOMEONE ELSE N SEBASTIAN GETS JEALOUS N ONE DAY HE GETS ENOUGH OF IT AND DRAGS READER SOMEWHERE N THEY HAVE HATE SEX HELP IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT

OMG I LOVE IT! your wish shall be granted✨✨✨👍

Edit: OOPS I JUST WROTE THIS WHOLE THING THEN SAW THE HATE SEX PART NOOOOO IM SORRYYYYYY

Im skipping some plot.... just cause no reason🤭

(not my photo credit to Pinterest for fueling my mental issues)✨✨✨

Jokes on You

Sub Sebastian x Dom male Reader

🔞CAUTION SEX (ig)🔞

---

"Ok, tonight was a little crazy so go and get some rest. Ok Natty?"

"Yeah I still can believe we escaped on hippogriffs!" Natty whispered back. Her hands still shaking slightly. I embrace her for a quick hug before we part. Being quiet I move quickly down to the Slytherin rooms. Once I safely make it to the dungeons a sigh of relief washes over me. My head aches slightly from the stress of fleeing Harlow and his cronies. Slipping through the door into the common room I gasp slightly.

"So... you want to tell what you've been doing?" Sebastian questions, glancing at me from his book.

"Well you see I... uhhh... Natty needed help with somethingandIcouldntjustsaynoso-" My voice speeding up as I talk, eyes flicking around the room.

"You're lying. Tell me the truth." He demands, with a stern voice. I finally make eye contact with him and give him a sigh.

"I- fine... Natty and I were out... investigating someone and we got attacked BUT! before you freak out, we're fine nothing bad happened!" I explain, guilt lingering on my words. For lying to Sebastian and for betraying Natty even after I swore not to tell anyone about our... excursions.

"And you didn't think to just," pausing himself with a sigh, "I don't know tell me before you endanger yourself and making me think you were with someone else." rubbing his temples stress clear on his face.

"... what? you thought I was cheating on you? Sebastian I would nev-"

"yeah well when i barely see my own boyfriend for three whole days and when I do see him he's with some girl! I don't know what to think ok!" he almost yells, cutting me off. Remembering that it's past curfew and neither of us are meant to still be up quiets Sebastian. I take a cautious step to him, unknowing of his reaction. I rest my hand on his cheek, I pull his face to face my own. Our eyes connect, frustration weeping from him.

"I would Never. cheat on you Sebastian. I'm sorry I've been neglecting you. I didn't think it would hurt you so. I'll tell you next time," I speak low and soft, his attention on my eyes. Kissing him sweetly, closing my eyes resting our foreheads against each other when we part.

"Next time? How much trouble do you need in one year to be satisfied?" Sebastian moves his hand to mine, our hands resting together on his cheek. Grabbing my hand, intwining our fingers. He says, "come on." before trying to drag me into the corner of the common room.

"Where- what are we doing now?" i ask confusedly.

"I'm a teen boy who hasn't seen his boyfriend for three days. Take a guess." Blushing at the realization. Sebastian pushes me against the wall next to the lake, our lips clashing. Sweet turns to heavy, our tongues fighting. Biting his lip takes him off guard, I flip us pushing him to the stone wall. The chill of the stone coursing through him, a shiver runs down his body. Leaning down I continue making out with my boyfriend, pressing my leg against his groin. A groan from Sebastian letting my tongue gain dominance. His hips stuttering into my leg. "Please... I need you," he says, the slight whine of his voice going straight to my growing member. Grasping his thighs I lift him up, pressing him against the wall. Sliding his sleep pants down, just enough I spit onto my fingers. Stretching him and teasing him at the same time. I kiss his neck, his face blushing from his sensitivity. Soft groans leaking from his lips like a faucet. "I need you- now please..." his words drawing out slowly. Shuttering from his words, I complied. Hastily removing my belt and unbuttoning my pants before spitting in my hand once more rubbing it up and down my length, till I deemed good enough. Lowering him softly onto my hard cock. He jolts with a moan. Precum leaking from his cock. I start thrusting, I groan softly into Sebastians ear. His face now beat red, I bite into his shoulder. Once I do that he clenches hard and moans rather loudly. Still holding Sebastian I move from the wall to a nearby couch. Sebastian, now the one who has to lean down, resumes our making out from earlier. I grab his throat gently, squeezing intermittently. Sebastians eyes fluttering softly his cock hitting against his stomach with every thrust up. His red tip throbbing with anticipation. I hit his prostate, "I- need to- ahh please- can i," his voice pleading me. I start reaching my limit.

"Come for me Sebastian," I whispered into his ear. I bite down once more, Sebastians cum hitting our chests. His groaning tip me over the edge I cum into Sebastian. Both of us breathing heavy, we wait for a moment before separating. Cum falling from Sebastian when he lifts off my member.

"I've missed you."

"Jokes on you. Now you can't get rid of me," a chuckle escaping from Sebastian.

"Good."

[soaps-mohawk]

& this chapter was ugh so good. you just make the angst soo freaking good. idk whats its called (youre the writer here) but when the book actually makes you feel something yk? yeah.

and omg johnny just crying tore me apart. you can tell he was always a sweetheart maybe even the most omega-like before reader. like god theyre all having to be so strong for everyone.

and fucking simon with the spoon like yes do what you ahve to do for her. idk that part made me feel something because everyone else is almost to scared to push the boundary but it wasnt about her boundaries it was about her safety since she clearly wont admit it yaknow? simon is so im gonna protect you whether you like it or not.

then john god damnit. he’s going through so much but im do into this fic i honestly dont even feel bad. like im reading how he feels and feel nothing. no pity, no empathy, i dont even feel good that he’s feeling this way.

i 💕 this fic. this is so long sorry bye -👻👻

I don't know if there's an exact word for that?? Maybe? I'm not sure of it either lol.

Johnny is my sweet boy and I hate hurting him so much. I hate hurting all of them but it's necessary unfortunately.

I think any of them would have reached out and done it if they had been sitting next to her, but it does feel a bit intentional that they put Simon there. He can't fight those instincts, even if he wants to. He wasn't going to let 'mega get hurt, even if it meant pushing that boundary a bit.

Good. You shouldn't feel pity for him. He fucked up and he has a lot to make up for. You're supposed to not like him right now lol

Thank you though, I'm glad you've been enjoying it despite the pain it's been causing recently. (It is going to get better I promise)

[suckinitup]

i saw the words mark winters and like a spell cast over me i started thinking about him again. anyway mark winters hero and ashe villain in that villain oneshot. how does this happen. fucking EAsy. mark gives ashe up.

consider it. there has GOT to be some program with the WATCH for parents who are overwhelmed by their children's dangerous power and need help. this is basically what happened to william. there's gotta be different circumstances and different levels of interference- but ashe isnt even a teenager and he already has a kill count. there is NO WAY he's not being removed from the household for at least the majority of the year until everyone has a better understanding of what he can do and how he can Not Do That Again. in canon, of fucking course mark wouldnt do that. that's mark winters. he'd lose his entire family in less than a week and thats his kid. he cant be sure theyre taking care of him out there or if he'll see him again or whats going on. if ashe leaves, then what is there for him to live for.

but villains mark. hes still mark. he's still hurting. and maybe its not him who's got that heroic little spark- maybe it was his wife who thought they were cool, or he wakes up to ashe sobbing too many times after a nightmare, or he cant stop looking at that fucking book and hating it and he starts to worry that resentment will spread to ashe too. he wants what's best for his kid and the one thing he knows is that ashe won't find that here.

so he picks up his phone. and he calls WATCH.

its rough for both of them. theyve both lost their whole family now. they call every night, then ashe gets busy (because he has friends here, and every time some instructor is harsh with him or something is hard he resents his dad more and more. he knows why he was sent away, but it gets in his head that his dad was scared of him, and thats hard on him. why wouldn't he rather hang out with his friends) and stops picking up the phone as much so it's once a week. then once a month.

mark thinks about killing himself a lot. he lives in a shitty little apartment with horrible neighbours and he goes out to eat every night and he thinks about drinking but he has to stay sober tonight- what if ashe picks up the phone? he cant let his kid hear him like that. and i think he gets offered jobs here and there and he takes them because hey, ashe is gonna come back at some point. he's gotta make sure the kid gets a good present for christmas.

and he gets wrapped back up with overlord.

but the big difference okay. the huge difference. is that he is not responsible for keeping ashe alive. he can take more risks. he can hold grudges. he doesn't have to do the same things that canon mark does - he doesn't have to break his moral code down to its barest essentials (don't hurt kids) like he did in canon. he gets to be fucking PISSED at overlord, and the scientists who hurt him, and every motherfucker who has made his shit life even worse.

thats how he meets tide. they fight a few times, ofc, gotta have that tidalwave viciousness. but then tide has more information than mark does, and mark knows more about the power structures than tide does, so they start working together, and then they dont stop. mark does less and less crimes- tide is valuable as an ally, and his moral code is a fucking pain in mark's ass. he hides his crimes, and then it's more convenient to just stop doing them. tide more often than not has the resources that they need through WATCH and it means that mark gets his ass kicked less often. win/win.

even after overlord goes down, they keep working together. mark never officially agrees to join WATCH but tide quietly keeps giving him new gizmos and gadgets. he gets one of those weird fucking communicator bracelets and tide pretends not to notice how mark modifies it. in WATCH itself tide starts getting scheduled as "tide and wavelength" because where one fucker is the other is too. tide is mark's only friend.

fucking . the clinginess of villains au mark for tide paralleling the clinginess of ashe for the pd in canon ^^ consider. tide feels similarly too he's been lonely as Shit since he stopped getting along w his brothers. they find comfort in each other. they start having beers with each other after work and they start sitting next to each other all the time and they dont talk about it but things Do get more desperate every time one of them goes down in battle. tidalwave ‼‼‼‼

ashe, meanwhile, is getting more powerful. he has mentors who don't snap at him for using the book. they dont try to take it from him or destroy it. they let him keep notes, let him study it, let him learn what monsters are too dangerous and what he can handle. he's learning a lot and he's getting good at it.

and he misses his dad.

mark still calls sometimes, but ashe never picks up. mark sends him cards for birthdays and christmas, and ashe keeps them stashed away in drawers he's scared to look at. he is scared and angry and he is full of many emotions. canon ashe never had to doubt that his dad would help him but au ashe thinks that his dad abandoned him. he's a monster and his dad hates him. its a fuckin stack of dominos where things just fall into place to upset him more and more and more (including the guilt at never picking up marks calls and maybe its not marks fault. ashe Did kill his own mom. of course mark was scared. but ashe can control it now. ashe can protect mark from the book. he can leave, and they can leave, and be a family again and ashe will never have to think about WATCH ever again). so ashe runs away.

he follows the address on the letters and he walks inside and he doesnt see mark. he sees tide. he had been so relieved when he'd finally found mark's apartment- scared and guilty and excited and a thousand different teenage-drama scenarios running through his mind. his dad yelling at him or rejecting him or sweeping him up in this big bone-crushing hug or crying or running or- or- or. the one certainty ashe had was that he wouldnt have to deal with anything WATCH. not here.

but tide is on mark's fucking couch. and mark is asleep on tide's fucking lap. and tide's hand is in mark's fucking hair. ashe had never considered his father getting close to anyone after his mom, and now he's gotten close to tide.

now imagine a teenage tantrum with the power of Big Arms and Rage Without Direction and Abandonment and Hurt and Loss and Super fucking Scary Book. tldr: ashe tries to kill tide <3 mark tries to stop the fighting <3 ashe thinks that he's turned against him <3 tide gets capital h Hurt. ashe runs away again. mark is once again left in the ruins of his own life and just has to fucking deal with it.

[saltyspacecat]

Some thoughts about contrasting characteristics and diversion tactics in A Deadly Education (I have not yet read the other two books in the series)

Regarding El, she is described as feeling like its going to rain, and its understandable why people would see that and immediately think "bad", but rain isnt necessarily a bad thing. I think Novik chose that specifically because of the symbolism a coming storm can bring. Its destructive and scary, yeah maybe, but rain is cleansing, it brings new life/growth.

I have a hunch that is going to tie in quite beautifully with her character arc/what ever role she will grow into in the next two books.

And I feel like Novik does a lot of subtle misdirection like this, giving El a description we're meant to immediately interpret as bad, but that can actually be interpreted much differently if you stop to think about it (maybe the only reason people fear her is because they fear the unknown. she's not bringing destruction as death, she's bringing it as change. and people hate change, change is scary in and of itself). I notice this misdirection a lot with how Orion and her are being constantly contrasted. They are very much opposites in a lot of ways--physically: Orion is pale and silver haired and kinda more small of stature for a guy, El has darker skin, dark hair, on her way to being above average in height; socially: orion is well loved and well recieved, kinda socially oblivious tho (very autistic imo) doesnt realize all the structures benefiting him, whereas El is an outcast people take an automatic disliking to, is very socially speculative,extremely good at reading people, and very aware of how everything functions, the structure of the hierarchies, the systems in place and necessary procedures to make it through life at the school, etc. -- but if you stop reading into all the opposites that are being deliberately thrown at you and analyze their relationship and their characters, you see they have a lot of core things in common. like that they both have similar feelings of social isolation (even if it is in opposite directions), theyre both brave and self sacrificing. It almost feels like im not meant to realize that yet, because then i will realize how everything is going to end. (I have a fear that the self-sacrificing bit is reaaalllly going to hurt later on.)

There is also a prevalent theme of ballance in this book, and that ties into the comparing and contrasting of Orion vs El. They are extremely yin yang coded.

I feel like this isnt the kind of thing I'd usually be thinking so deep about in an average book, but this author has already proven that shes is very smart. The ways she writes about the different politics, the realistic characters (looking at you, trauma responses so realistic they triggered my own XD), the rich culture of the school and of the magic itself, etc., it makes it feel completely possible that she'd be doing all of these subtle things very on purpose. Immediately I think of the scene in the library, where the school is using distraction and misdirection to try to keep El from noticing the maw-mouth. And the thought of Novik using this kind of misdirection/distraction literally in the story (like the library scene) but also as writing device (where its not directed at the main character, but at us, the audience/4th wall) is soooooo cool to me wow.

Naomi Novik is a genius.

[eomma-jpeg]

trigun fic rec list - from lace!

alright, FINE, twist my arm

FIRST UP: @squid789 Blank Ticket - vashmeryl/milivio

so i have a personal fanfic like... catalog LOL and i make little notes as i read and here is the note i left on BT right after i finished it about a year ago

seriously sooooooooooooooo good. squid does an incredible job at post trimax work

blank ticket is so good if you like post trimax stuff (like I do >:)) and squid is so good at representing vash as he ought to be (a brat with a bad attitude and abandonment issues)

Sea Foam - vashmeryl/millywood

once again i have notes from my catalog LOL

PERFECT STUPENDOUS INCREDIBLE I LOVE SQUID AND THE DRAMA AND TRAUMA THEY GIVE ME

SF is a mermaid au and i adore ANYTHING THAT GIVES ME MERMAIDS. It is such an amazing exploration into so many characters, and especially knives WHOM I LOVE TO HATE IN THIS FIC. hes such a brat and yet is just a kid who never got to be a kid and i love him

After Eden - vashmeryl/milivio

I don't have this one in my catalog !!!!! a tragedy !!! (i stopped updating my catalog when i started writing what a shame T-T)

But i can chat about after eden bc i was there for its conception!!! and I beta for it teehee

but its an exploration of BT and i just

it hurts me

squid loves to hurt me

but it hurts so good T-T

if you love to see manga vash act like a spoiled brat and enjoy meryl whump, you will LOVE after eden

Not a Chance - vashmeryl

a lil fic written in the in the meadow universe and its by squid and i love squid and this is my favorite thing in the world

meryl contemplates why she had to fall in love with this doofus

Now, for just a HUGE line up of fics !! these will include my initial thoughts that i have saved in my catalog teehee:

vashmeryl

Truth of a Memory by @fullcry

Vash and Meryl experiment with Vash’s telepathy and memory sharing.

one of my favs just because meryl and vash are so sweet to each other T-T

The Art of the Date by fullcry

Meryl and Milly pity Vash for being a terrible flirt, and Vash dares Meryl to a date to teach him to do better. Vash does better than anticipated.

i go back and reread this one often lol

Memories on Film by fullcry

okay.... this one is spicy and I'm not a huge fan of explicit content....

BUT THE GROWTH AND THE SWEET TENDER MOMENTS AND VASH BEING OBVIOUS MAKES ME SWOON ITS SO GOOD

Other Ways to Speak by fullcry

Meryl kisses each and every one of Vash’s scars

inspired by this

OH BABY THIS ONE IS SO GOOD.

No Reason by @eilwen

this is more of a collection of one shots rather than a complete story, but it has some very cute chapters.

LITERALLY ONE OF THE BEST TRIGUN FANFIC AUTHORS OUT THERE !

Seriously one of the best fics. I'm still not completely caught up bc i have zero time, but its so incredibly written. i wanna be like eilwen when i grow up

Distractions by eilwen

eilwen at it again !!! their stuff is so good !!!!!!

this is an incredible exploration of meryl’s character and the growth of their relationship through the books she reads.

The End by @ginger-mosaic

Long fic. It is a vashmeryl fic but it is MORE of an exploration of Vash and Knives’ relationship after the events of the manga.

currently unfinished and I want to die because I need more. I love Livio

ITS ALMOST DONE AND AHHHHHHHHHH CHRONICAAAAAAAAA

seriously an INCREDIBLE FIC. it is a book that could be published at this point its so good. not incredibly vashmeryl heavy, but it is there and i adore it sm T-T

The thomas in the room by @anime-grimmy

Paired with a comic by the author, this takes place after the events of the movie Trigun: Badlands Rumble.

Meryl is acting weird and Vash is determined to figure out what he did to make her so angry at him.

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH THEYRE SO DUMB AND SO IN LOVE GRAHHHHH

Saving Grace by anonymous

TRIGUN SPOILERS - biblically accurate vash. big angel boy

Meryl gets injured and vash tries something new in order to help her

uhhhh if you like monsters and big angels and kisses then uhhhhh this is for you

Roots by @magadauthan

Meryl and Vash have a… whirlwind of a relationship. Vash notices something strange about his hair. Meryl makes him clean the bathroom.

soooooooo silly and domestic and dumb they heal each other its cute.

Interjacence by herdedcats (jaina <3)

Vash and Meryl can’t sleep and decide to make donuts in the middle of the night. Unfortunately that also leave a lot of time for evaluating feelings and confessing thoughts.

no comfort :(

this one is SO GOOD BY WHY DID IT HAVE TO HURT ME SO

Flying or Falling by @madnessmadness

MAXIMUM RIDE AND TRIGUN MIX AHHHHHHELFJFLEFJELKJFLEKJFLJE

my two niche interests slammed together and its so good aldkjfsljdflkj

Bluebells by @needle-noggins

once again, i don't like explicit content, but sav gets me HOOKED IN WITH THE COMFORT AND THE CHARACTER BUILDING AND THE WAY THESE TWO LOVE EACH OTHER SO DESPERATELY THEY WANT TO HELP EACH OTHER SO BAD

Like a Limb by @commander-goo

points aggressively

you like post trimax ? you like feathers and hurt/comfort ???

YOU LIKE THIS

READ THIS

Wait, he can do that? by anonymous

SOFT

FEATHERY AND SOFT AND GOOD

meryl gets a glimpse into vash's ..... dreams.... and gets a bit flustered

millywood

Absolution by SMP

companion piece to tension, describes the intimate moment between Milly and Wolfwood just after he kills Zazie and before [MAJOR TRIGUN SPOILER]

one of the best millywood pieces out there. seriously so good and so soft and has some of the best imagery

i can see a lot of life in you by procrastinatingbookworm

Milly and Wolfwood share clothes

some trigun spoilers because of Wolfwood’s guilt :/

VERY POETIC AND VERY GOOD

In Eden by MicrosuedeMouse

a 98 fic where wolfwood happens to be alive 1!!! and he’s scared to come forward and see milly………….

but then he sees her

millynai

Zirconium Blues by @madnessmadness

alt au where Nai is the hero and Vash is the villain……..

ITS SO INCREDIBLE AHHHHHHHH I LOVE THIS ONE ITS SO POETIC AND AWESOME AND I LOVE LENI THEY FRICKING CATER TO ME AHHHH

milly takes care of an injured nai and shes so country i love her so much

In the Moonlight by @veilder

THIS WAS WRITTEN FOR ME ITS IN THE MEADOW CONTENT T-T

I LOVE VEIL SO MUCH THEYFJEFLEJFLSJD THEY DID THIS FOR ME AHHHHHHH

How to say "You are the sun to my moon" in Flowers by FullmetalDude1

a cute fic inspired by in the meadow and its suuuper sweet

this is a flowershop au where knives is essentially domesticated by milly and i love them so much

Interested in the fics i didn't mention? here you go Lace's Fanfic Catalog

[atlasdoe]

you should soooo tell my your remary thoughts

HI HERE ARE MY FAVE REMARY HEADCANNONS

They love holding hands and always do whenever they walk together. literally these two never stop touching each other even if it's just their pinky's they HAVE to be holding each other some way otherwise they'll explode

Remus doesn't like parties and Mary does so whenever Gryffindor have a party Remus will sit in the corner by the window with the smokers while Mary goes out to socialise with her friends and dance. Before she leaves him tho she'll put on a shit tone of lipstick and kiss his cheek so it stays on just to make sure that nobody thinks he's single and tries anything before she goes back. Remus pretends to hate it but really loves how wanted it makes him feel

Remus' favourite thing about Mary is her confidence. he admires her so much and how she can always hold her head high despite the prejudice she faces for being muggleborn. he can only wish that he will be even a tiny bit confident as she is despite him being a werewolf

Speaking on werewolves. In a cannon universe where they're together i imagine the prank happening on the same day or the day after Mary getting attacked by Mulciber. In this universe i'm saying that Remus did care about the prank for the plot. So Mary is shut out in her room because of Mulciber and doesn't want to speak to anyone but Lily is trying to get her talk to her about what happened and while she's doing so makes a comment about Remus also refusing to come out of his room. Mary immediately thinks that the Slytherins had also hurt Remus and goes to the boys dorm to see him (she is the most protective gf in the world) but when Remus opens the door and tries to get out of telling her what happened she mentions that the Slytherins hurt her too in a way to tell him that she understands and Remus sees RED

Hear me out. Remus Lupin is not intimidating in the slightest. So when he goes to Mulciber he's laughed at for even thinking that he could take him. But i hc that Remus knows every defensive spell on the book (because he wants to be able to protect those he loves like his dad protected him)

Remus does eventually tell Mary everything and that's how Mary finds out that Remus is a werewolf

SPEAKING OF PARENTS. Lyall and Hope ADORE Mary. Mary is literally every in laws dream. She's polite and helping and all smiles around them and they can clearly see how much she cares for Remus and how happy she makes him

AND MARYS PARENTS LOVE REMUS TOO. They were skeptical at first because of the scars and the scrawniness of him but once he started talking they fell in love. (and they're obsessed with his welsh accent. they love how he speaks)

AND MARYS YOUNGER SIBLINGS ARE OBSESSED WITH REMUS. Mary in my hcs has an older sister and two younger brothers and because her brothers are so small they think Remus is the coolest person ever. They very bluntly asked him where he got his scars from when they first met and Mary told them that Remus fought a dragon

Yknow the "she's like a shot of espresso" audio of Andrew Garfield talking about Emma Stone?? Yeah that's actually Remus Lupin talking about Mary MacDonald

Remus loves burying his face in Marys neck. It's his favourite place to be and he loves kissing her there

Mary loves kissing Remus' scar on his face and hands. She's always sitting on his lap and running her hands through his hair

Remus LOSES HIS MIND when Mary wears short skirts

THEYRE JUST SO PERFECT YOUR HONOR IM GOING TO THROW UP AT THE THOUGHT OF THEM

[cloudcountry]

I wanted to ask why you hated Idia so much back then and the reason you adore him?

im gonna start telling people to pay me whenever they ask why i hate(d) idia because ive got this question easily 20 different times and frankly i'm losing money by not accepting payment

im not writing all that again i'm so tired of explaining it over and over ughhhh its not your fault min its just i seem to be a skipping record with how often i've had to repeat the same thing over and over and over for a YEAR and people just KEEP ASKING like ok you want to know about my relationship with idia shroud PAY UP!!!!!

anyways...i havent written about the things i adore about him yet so...

first first first!! the thing that made me gasp the softest gasp i have ever gasped in my life when i first saw it...his pink hair. its a bit superficial i guess but now that i like idia i think he's stunning. he's so hauntingly beautiful, especially when he's just a little bit flustered and the tips of his hair turn pink. what i would do to see his whole head turn pink PLEASE.

i also think his smile is so silly, even though it's usually accompanied by his smug ass voice "should'a leveled up more!" SHUT UP!!!!! i love his sharp teeth theyre so goofy nd silly but in a cute way. honestly i think his scowl is cute too, idk maybe i just like his lips but watching them twist up in annoyance when he rolls his eyes is attractive to me dont ask i dont know either. does that say something about me? maybe. i'm content with not knowing.

onto less superficial things...i just finished reading book six yesterday and it struck me how idia's heart is genuinely so beautiful. he loves so gently and fully, but with devotion that would destroy the world if he let it loose. being loved and treasured by idia is a privilege, because once he lets you in he would do anything for you (just dont fuck it up or i will beat you up im being so serious LEAVE HIM ALONE)

the extent to which he cares for ortho is so beautiful and so heartbreaking. "leave it to your big bro" im dead. everything he does is for ortho to have a safe and fulfilling life and honestly...it kind of seems like idia is trying to pay ortho back in a sense? like you died (because of me), now i will spend the rest of my life mourning you as punishment. he wants to give him the best life possible and thats just so ourgourgouhgohou,,,, his grieving is so complex and yet its so simple. heartbreaking i tell you.

on a lighter note, he's very passionate about the things he's into as well. one thing about figuring our how to like idia was turning my reaction to his condescending jabs from "oh he's such a know it all bitch what the hell people are literally just indulging in his interests what is wrong with him?" TO "oh he's just excited and getting an adrenaline rush, it's going to his head. he's happy. :)" and that was absolutely growth on my part because. ok AUBURN LORE TIME but i used to have a friend who was very condescending and a HUGE know it all (irl IRL IRL) and i think they definitely impacted how i saw idia because i saw bits of them in him. and since they hurt me so much i projected my experiences with them onto idia, so the first time i met him in game i wrote him off immediately and hated him after i saw what he said to others and how he acted.

but one of the many problems with that approach was that i missed the gentler sides of him. the way he goes back to school for ortho. the way he powers through the masquerade social for ortho. his idea of yuu being "valuable emotional support." his love of cats, regardless of how bad he scared grim. his love of star rogue and the way he made the sequel actually happen, albiet unintentionally. i spent so much time resenting him because "of course he's just another one of those." that i didn't stop to notice anything about him except for those bad moments. and of course, i'm not ignoring them now, i just see them differently. i see him differently.

of course i love that he's relatable, and that he's smart, and i love how when he's comfortable he loses his filter and becomes idia shroud instead of just being Scared of them, but i think that's just. social anxiety. and yk what ive said this before but even when i hated him i would NOT stand for anyone coming for his anxiety. like yeah i hate idia shroud but BITCH GET AWAY FROM HIM. YOU DONT KNOW WHAT ANXIETY IS LIKE!!! put me in nrc right now idia shroud needs someone who will yell at people for him and thats going to be ME. i dont care who you are you say shit you are earning my IRE. trey clover got yelled at. no one is safe.

can i just say i love how you said "reason" like there's only one JDSJSDJSD LMAO IDK IT WAS JUST FUNNY TO ME when i love someone i have multiple reasons and i love every part of them, even the bad annoying icky parts (in fact, if you can't love their bad parts too is it even love...? i dont know, we all have different definitions anyway. some might think tolerating their bad parts is love too and we'd both be right.) theres no one reason i just think he's lovely inside and out now. he's an angel, basically.

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

HERE WE GO AGAIN!!!

I loved everything you wrote for my last request (thank you so much!!!) and i have returned to be unreasonable in my demands of you yet again!

⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️(ENGAGED ENGAGED ENGAGED!!!!!! THEYRE ENGAGED!!!!!)

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨(oh god alan’s back we hate alan but we love the potential angst this brings!)

🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸(Reunited and it feels so good!! Can’t wait to learn more about eddie’s missing months!)

🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮(poor baby buck! And preemptively poor baby bobby)

🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟(118 family is stronger than everything even a zombie apocalypse)

👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑(madneyyyyy my beloveds can’t wait to read your epic love story take a new form!)

And i’m gonna be a little cheeky and request something not technically on your list 🛞🛞🛞🛞🛞🛞🛞🛞🛞 (look you gave me the emoji darling i dont know what you expected me to do. Especially when faced with obnoxiously oblivious domestic in love buddie from chimneys perspective! Who is possibly supposed to resist that) but as this is an illegal request i understand if you deny it but a girls gotta try right :p

Please know that my frequently used emojis page has gotten real messed up from this game but thats a sacrifice i’m very willing to make. It’s a small price to pay for your fabulous content!!!

THANKS CAL YOURE THE BEST!!!

HEY!!!!!!!! THANK YOUUUUU <3 SOrry for messing up your emoji page.

Okay here we go....

45 for ⚡️(THEY ARE INDEED ENGAGED):

---

 “My kitchen standards? Ridiculously high.”

Eddie chuckles. “I think that’s fair, considering you do almost all the cooking.”

“And we need space to host.” Buck adds. “Like a back deck.”

“We can make a back deck.” Eddie suggests. 

“Deal,” Buck nods. “All I’m saying is don’t expect me to be an easy shopper. I know you don’t care about additional appliance space on the counters, but I am a reasonable man.”

“I can handle it,” Eddie promises.

“I want to paint the bedroom black.” Buck says.

Eddie freezes. “Uh, sorry?”

“I’m fucking with you.” Buck winks. “But this is fun, though.”

Eddie sighs. “I suppose I deserve some light ribbing.”

“You do. But also, I love you. So it’s fine. Can we actually talk about getting married now?”

“We can talk about getting married now,” Eddie smiles. “You’re right, I don’t want to wait over a year.”

“Okay, then let’s grab a calendar.”

🗲🗲🗲

A month later, by the time they’re gathering at Bobby and Athena’s for the promised engagement party, Buck and Eddie have a lot more figured out. They’ve landed on November for a wedding date. Not a typical month to get married, but it works for them. It’s off season, so cheaper to book things. It’s soon, but gives them enough time to put together something quickly. Maddie has called them crazy for their turnaround time, but neither of them wants to delay. Or have bills delaying their other plans. On the other hand, Christopher is quite pleased with their expediency. 

“November 2nd,” Buck tells people again and again at the parties. “Invites literally went into the mail yesterday.” 

It’s a nice party. Eddie’s mom, Abuela, and Sophia fly out. His dad sends his regrets. Apparently they’re not at a good place for being in the same room for extended periods of time but endeavor to be by November. Bobby even managed to invite Connor, Kameron, and the baby. Who Buck supposes is reaching toddler age, actually. 

---

24 for 🚨 (yesss he makes a quick appearance):

---

“Sorry, what?” He asks eventually.

“Shannon dying hurt you so badly, I didn’t want you to watch it happen to someone else you loved, Eddie.”

Eddie scratches his head. 

“Well, that was the exact wrong way to go about that, Buck. Are you nuts? I don’t love Alan. He was just… He was just kind of an embarrassing phase, really. I love you, if that wasn’t fucking obvious, and-”

“What?” Buck asks. 

“Obviously I love you!” Eddie scolds him. “Buck, be serious. I love you. You can’t die. Not for Alan. Not for anyone. I don’t care if that makes me a sort of unethical firefighter. You can’t die, because you’re in my will in case I die. You can’t die because I want to spend my life with you if I don’t!”

Buck feels suddenly dizzy. He doesn’t know which piece of information to lock in on.

---

60 for 🩸:

You are entering at the very end of a rather NSFW part so, uh... Sorry?

---

“That was… That was very hot.”

“Oh,” Eddie exhales. “Well, I thought so. But you might be a little weird, then. All things considered.”

Buck laughs. “Shut up.”

Eddie’s still a little shaky. This all feels sort of fantastical. He can’t have really just experienced all that and it be okay? 

“Now I really need a nap,” Buck mumbles, kissing Eddie a final time before turning off the shower. 

Eddie nods a little robotically. 

“I will join you there, too.”

Buck grins. “I should hope so.”

💧💧💧

Buck’s not sure how much he actually sleeps after fooling around with Eddie in the shower. On the one hand, he’s genuinely exhausted. On the other, holy fuck? Like what the actual hell was that and how does he schedule an hour of it a day for the rest of his life? 

He fades in and out of sleep, waking in short bursts to kiss Eddie and grind up against him beneath the covers. Eddie holds him, kisses him back, keeps him close. Sometimes Buck feels the telltale tickle or sharp teeth over skin, and sometimes he doesn’t. Like Eddie is settling into a natural sort of comfortability. It makes Buck happy. Eddie has to hide from so much. He shouldn’t have to hide from Buck.  

When he’s finally, properly awake, just laying in Eddie’s arms, he brings up what he spoke about with Bobby.

“Bobby wants to tell everyone.”

“Tell them?”

“About you and May.”

Eddie pauses for a moment, hands still stroking Buck’s hair. 

“Who is everyone?”

“Hen, Chim, Ravi. Maddie and Karen, too.”

“Okay,” Eddie says. 

“Okay?” 

“Yeah. I’m okay with that.”

“You’re sure?” 

“Life has to go on, right? Chris is back. He’s safe.” Eddie explains. “It’d be nice to have more family back.”

“Okay,” Buck exhales. “I’ll tell him.”

“I’ll be okay,” Eddie assures Buck. “Bobby wouldn’t be suggesting May if he wasn’t sure.”

“That’s true. I know. I’m sorry.”

Eddie brings Buck’s hand to his mouth and kisses it. “We’ll get through it.”

“We’ll get through it,” Buck repeats. 

It’s becoming a mantra of theirs, isn’t it? Buck has to believe it now. He has to believe it, and he has to make it true. He can’t lose this. He can’t lose Eddie. Never again. 

---

21 for 🔮 (YEAH IT'S ROUGH SORRY): ---

People in LA either have much better or much worse hair. 

Buck’s confusion might have remained directionless for a long time, if not for the priest. When he starts to speak, Buck’s sense of time in place is severely distorted. But at least he has some idea of what’s going on. 

“Timothy Nash was a God fearing man,” the priest announces.

Buck’s jaw drops. 

Nash? 

He scans the front of the room, for the photo of a man everyone is apparently here to mourn. He finds it. A grainy, almost sepia-looking thing in a big brass frame. A man with kind eyes and a mustache, mid-forties, in a firefighter’s uniform. 

Holy shit. 

But who is Timothy Nash? Bobby’s brother? Hasn’t Bobby always said that he came from a firefighter family? But why would Buck be at Bobby’s brother’s funeral, without Bobby? And isn’t Bobby’s brother older? 

No, this can’t be right. 

The priest goes on to talk about what made Timothy Nash a “God fearing man.” Buck has, personally, always found that language uncomfortable. Maybe those are his own childhood issues with authority coming out, but it’s true.

---

27 for 🧟 (DAMN RIGHT):

---

The only people who seem excited about everything are Denny and Harry. Denny is thrilled to have another kid, who is only a little older than him. He shows Harry around and the two of them disappear into the library together. 

For everyone else, it’s a little more complicated. 

Karen takes over for Chim on the cameras, and Hen and Chim help May alone. They set her up on a cot in a cool, dark storage closet. One that locks from the outside. 

“I’m sorry but we can’t take any chances,” Bobby explains the decision to Athena. 

Athena looks tense, but doesn’t complain. 

Buck gets a fractured sense of backstory from everyone - because apparently he is the only one who doesn’t know Athena - in the hours that follow. 

Athena was a police sergeant for the county here. Before everything. Around the time Buck started at the fire station, she and her husband split. Buck doesn’t get much intel on that, but apparently it was messy enough that Athena took the kids and went to spend some time with her parents in Florida. While there, the virus broke out. She kept them alive until it was safe enough to start journeying home. Looking for her ex. Her kids’ dad. 

Somewhere along the way, almost here, her daughter got hurt. Buck obviously doesn’t know this woman at all, but he can tell that that fact is killing her. She made a hard decision, took a big risk, and something bad happened. That’s got to fucking suck beyond measure, and he feels for her. He can tell Bobby does, too. Bobby would. With his past. 

Buck brings food for Athena and Harry as they wait for word on May. They eat gratefully.

---

24 for 👑 (THANKS!):

---

“Well,” she says, reaching into her purse. “I don’t know the timing of your shift or anything, but here.”

She hands him a glossy cardstock invite. 

“My parents throw this huge New Year’s Eve party every year. It’s my first year going in a long time. I kind of hate them, but the food is good, and the music… Maybe… Maybe if the company was better, I’d really enjoy it this year.”

Chim can feel his heart beating in his sternum. 

“You’re inviting me to your parents’ place?” He teases. “Maddie, it’s been one egg tart.”

She scoffs and rolls her eyes. “Well, then you’ve got to stop offering girls egg tarts. They get ideas.” 

“This sounds really fun, Maddie.” Chim says seriously. “I’d like to go. I’m just not sure about work.”

“Well,” she shrugs. “Come if you can. I’ll keep an eye out for you.”

“Okay,” he smiles at her. “I’ll see what I can do.”

---

As for 27 for 🛞... That has been posted! I wasn't trying to hide it, I just didn't have enough left when I did this haha.

It is this:

IN EXCHANGE, I can offer you 27 of the 🔼 throuple fic, or 27 of my next Gotcha For Gaza one shot prompt fill, which focuses on May. Its emoji will probably be 💐

[beepsalotl]

crying ugh i love these characters so much and i hate the world so much except i dont and i just wish i could have what these characters had and be in a place that isnt like this one

im gonna cry ugh i dont know why i care so much, theyre not even real. but, like, in my head, they are, yknow? as in, they exist in the space i built for rhem as i read the series and learned about them and their world

fun fact, they were the first two characters whose books (each is the continuation of the story from a different third-person-limited perspective) had their names in the title. black hardcover w green embellishments for moonwatcher, a nightwing. white hardcover w blue for winter, an icewing. books six and seven, respectively. all the symbolism was there before you even open the goddamn books. yin and yang. AND YET.

and also they had two different histories and their tribes had a stale feud for thousands of years bc of some asshole jerkface. moon knew nothing about it bc she was raised in the rainforest practically by herself bc her mom had to sneak away from the shitty volcanic island the nightwings lived on to hide from the historic nightmare jerkface. winter knew all about it (or he THOUGHT he did bc he only knew the icewing side) bc he grew up surrounded by heirarchy and laws and rules and structure. moon didn’t grow up with the resentment at all, which allowed her a chance to see the truth.

she had to be self-sufficient. he had structure to lean on, even if it made him narrow-minded and nearly hard-hearted. he had to break through that, and she learned how to have patience. i feel like moon herself is sorely underdeveloped but i take the hints i can get and i feel that she learned how to forgive him by understanding who he was through his thoughts and, after skyfire, remembering that he was different inside than out and was still struggling.

when they were together, he was trying to be better and learn and he was kinder and softer even though he struggled to always be like that, and she was so patient with him.

heartbroken enraged screaming ensues, really.

like the rey and ben situation at the end of tros.

having him die in the end undermines everything the skywalker legacy stood for and all the development he had and it still breaks my heart bc he proved people can make bad, horrible choices and can survive abuse and break through it and change and be better and be loved. and then he DIED instead of getting his happy ending, which practically is what happened to winter bc the author basically said fuck you go live in the mountains doing work for peace and studying scavengers (which i know is his passion, but….) and your friends will hardly visit or write and they wont tell you the truth about how they defeated the bad guy WITHOUT ANY OF YOUR HELP EVEN THOUGH YOURE MORE THAN CAPABLE and they wont trust you and youll be alone forever.

my list of pairings and characters that i’m unreasonably heartbroken over:

ben and rey, winter and moon, catra and adora, draco and harry, zuko and katara.

catradora got together, ik, but their story still breaks my heart no matter how much hope it also gives me.

anyway, there’s no way for me to end this bc i dont even know what im feeling. it’s been years but winterwatcher’s fate still tears me up inside with the way it dashed my dreams of seeing a character like winter learn to let himself be loved.

i want to learn to let myself be loved, but i dont know how.

these characters are my attempts at finding myself out in the world and seeing if it’s possible. i dont attach my self-worth to them, but it hurts to see them fail to find romantic love where i saw it. idk

— a quick journal entry i wrote in my notes app years ago, as an emotional 16 year old with identity issues and way too much alone time on my hands

[bonefall]

I was wondering, how do you feel about Tallstar's revenge? If it's in the rewrite, is it mixed into Brokenstar's cataclysm due to Heatherstar being more involved? Would she have even let him leave?

It kind of caught my eye because (grain of salt I only read the book once and it was two months ago) it seemed the least xenophobic given how windclan allowed cats that weren't from a clan to join, and how while Talltail was sad because Jake went back to his home, it was relatively respected.

Please correct me if I'm wrong, though.

I have a lot of mixed feelings on Canon Tallstar's Revenge. I have a few asks in here about it, so I'm going to be covering the Bonefall Version's fragments when I answer one of those right after this one.

But before I do, I have a few possible titles for the redux. It's important insight to the Campaign Era, so I might title it Tallstar's Campaign as a contrast to Pinestar's reworked SE, Pinestar's Crusade. I also like the idea of putting emphasis on the tunnels and the cave-in that kills Sandgorse though, so "Tallstar's Collapse" would also be a good name.

Anyway, canon

What I really like about Tallstar's Revenge is the clan culture expansions it introduced. I LOVE tunneling and the politics of Tunnelers and Runners. I love the Nomads who are welcomed to visit yearly. I love how much personality is packed into the new characters here, from Woolytail and his gentle wisdom, Sandgorse and his high expectations, Palebird and her journey with grief...

It really made WindClan feel alive. It makes you want to be there-- something that I don't think any other SE has truly captured.

But also, like most SEs, it can be a mess too.

Why is ShadowClan attacking? BECAUSE THEYRE EVIL

Why did Shrewclaw bully Talltail? It was a joke c'maaaaan

Why did Heatherstar abolish tunneling now, of all times? Uhhh it was dangerous actually and uh they didn't show up to 1 battle.

How does Talltail come to terms with how his father hurt him and reckon with the loss of a tradition Sandgorse so desperately wanted his son to love as much as he did, losing the one piece of connection he could have to that parent? Uhhh sandgorse was great and I forgive him for no reason now

Why have a prophecy about Talltail leaving just so Heatherstar can allow him to come back if you're going to play it for tension anyway?

It feels like a lot is established only to be dropped later. More than anything though, I wish they wouldn't have made Heatherstar some perfect leader. I hate that they had to make Cedarstar into an evil gremlin to start this war-- it makes a lot more sense to me that Heatherstar, who says THIS line at the start of the book,

“I promise that I will make WindClan a force to be respected among all the Clans of the forest... And when I join you, I hope you will welcome me with pride at what I have achieved.”

Could have been ambitious instead of just reactionary. It's a battle culture, why do we have to constantly make ShadowClan the cause of all conflict to prevent our other characters from BEING BATTLE-FOCUSED?

And then, it makes a lot more sense to watch Heatherstar essentially dismantle all the things that made WindClan unique. The nomads, the tunneling, if they can't help you win the war, they've gotta go.

[midwinterwings]

Divinemadnesscore (and a small vent. Tw suicide and sh mentions)

Accepting my divinity has always been the hardest for me, as opposed to discovering myself. Having been trained to deal with 'problems' or things that cause 'bad things' like stress or anxiety by shutting it down, that's what I tried to do.

but, this artwork, a self portrait, aka, what it feels and looks like being me, is a physical way of asserting that I'm done doing that. I'm done hurting myself, biting my own heads to force them down, to try to squeeze myself into a box that never would have fit anyway. My divinity is something (and I had to refrain from saying unfortunately) that impacts my mortal life a lot. The more I try to surpress it the more it gets angrier and pushier, demanding to be seen.

I have to admit, a big reason I've finally realized what I have to do is to simply let me be, is because I realized that if I continued down the path of suppressing something so big, I would kill myself. I remember when a member of the system, Lilian, would be violent and want to kill himself if he fronted, because the rest of us ignored him and tried to murder him, seeing that he was a dark stain, the evidence of our past we hated.

But no one really wants to die. To Lilian, it felt like a triumph. Hurting us, and himself, to show he existed. When we accepted him (which was a hard and painful process on its own, due to his distrust in us. I mean we did try to murder him repeatedly I get it) he saw no need to hurt us. Why would he?

In the same way, the way my mortal self bites and chews at my divinity sends a deep pain through both of us. All we do is bite and hurt ourselves and the pain makes us angrier and hate each other more. But I'm done with this.

Its terrifying, letting myself be. I've glimpsed what I am, and it's horrifying, beautiful, eldritch. But that dosent stop me. It'll be awkward, unlearning all the ways I hurt myself to make sure I stay in my lane. I've lived this life hacking and killing so much of me, mentally, physically and spiritually, I dont know what it feels like to not bleed, to just be, to not run and jump onto the altar, lie down and plunge my blade into my stomach before anyone else has a chance to. I'm done pulling out my own flight feathers before they can be clipped. The ones who used to clip my wings forgot I had those. Seeing they didn't like them, I took it to myself to pull them out. So many times I've done this they've forgotten I grew flight feathers. And I forgot I grew flight feathers, seeing plucking at my sore, bloody wings as a daily chore, no more upsetting than doing the laundry. I set inhibitors on my mind, shut my mouth, so that people I knew could live in ignorance, unchallenged, unaware a small child could read them front to back like a book. Their little secrets, hidden insecurities, I blinded myself, I wouldn't let myself see or look or be anything other than normal. I slowed my thoughts, and split off into my mind, creating realms to busy myself, so that I ran at the normal times, so no one could tell. Instead of blurting out things people didn't like to hear, I swallowed honey so that my tongue was sickly sweet.

no longer. If this ends up a mess I'll face them with all of me, my wings healed. My body is scarred and beaten and crippled, my mind tired and soggy, my soul bleeding, filled with holes and claw marks from my own constant assaults on myself. But even as the flight feathers that grow shall be flimsy, sprouting between scar tissue from years of plucking, they are my feathers, my wings, my goddamn life. It won't be the same - of course it won't. The long, sturdy flight feathers that used to sprout now small, easily broken, flimsy. That's OK. Theyre my flimsy feathers.

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Greetings everyone! It is 4am and you know what that means. Thats right, its time to read ACOMAF :) chapters 41 this time. enjoy

Chapter 41

What we're just smashcutting straight to Velaris?? we're not gonna see Feyre talk about all the shit the mortal queens just said with her sisters??

ugh dont remind me of the fact that amren drinks blood but only animal blood because human blood is too watery or whatever. she couldve been my vampire girlie in this a/b/o world but instead shes just a lame disappointment in a lame disappointment world. that also doubles as an a/b/o world, lest we forget that

ughhhhh dont remind me of the fae not being affected by iron

Okay, i have to admit this line kinda slaps: "Maybe then Elain would get an engagement ring that wasn't forged out of hatred and fear."

Yeah Feyre, I hate to say it but you failed HARD as an ambassador, you are so bad at politics, but technically this was all Rhysands idea so I'd say it was his responsibility to make sure youre not bad at politics, so Im blaming him for all this

I made a joke in my last post about how the night court is really US governmentcore and now Cassian is like "we could just kill the current queens and put queens in place thatll cooperate with us" and the only reason Rhys doesnt wanna do it is because it would take too long and because they dont know what effect this will have on the book, not because, i dont know, he'd be interfering with foreign affairs and robbing all of humanity of their agency. I mean, its a monarchy so i guess humanity didnt have too much of a choice when they ascended to the throne, but atleast those queens have their best interests at heart and dont cooperate with former slave-owners

Why does Feyre care so muh about Mor potentially hurting Azriels feelings, is he not acting like Tamlin at the start of ACOMAF where he was all like "no Feyre, you cant go to the sper dangerous place, its dangerous"

Okay so, the oldest queen is the queen of The Black Land, which is a very vaguely africa-coded place, where humans were born slaves to the fae, unlike everyone else where I guess humans had to get captured by the fae to be enslaved OBVIOUSLY she doesnt wanna cooperate with fae, shes even more justified in her decision in my eyes

But then Im thinking, why can she even decide what happens with that little piece of land, Im guessing thats not part of the black land so would that not fall under the jurisdiction of one of the other queens? Honestly, they shouldve just spoken to each queen alone, I get that theyre strapped for time but im sure they couldve forged atleast one alliance without the oldest queen speaking for all of them there. Also, from a doylist perspective, it wouldve been good padding since sjm insists on making her books stupidly long and it wouldve probably given us a more functional government structure because right now it just seems like these queens who allegedly each have a kingdom to run are just hanging out in the same palace all making collectively decisions for the entire continent, which is stupid

What is it with Sarah J Maas and portraying freedom fighters being very dedicated to their cause as a bad thing, sepcifically because its not very condusive to a romantic relationship? Like, in Crescent City Hunt was a rebel and he was in love with the leader of the rebellion before she was killed and he enslaved and its very tragic and he cant love anyone but her, but then he manages to move on and fall in love with Bryce and it turns out to be a better experience for him. Specifically, theres this one scene where he buys her this jade egg or maybe she buys him one i dont remember, and he reflects on how if he had given that kind of gift to his former lover she wouldve appreciated it for one second and then just let it rot on some shelf because she just had other things on her mind, and I thought that was an interesting perspective for their relationship, but now that we're getting a similar thing with Jurian and Miriam except Jurian isnt the love interest of the MC so hes more likely to get demonized it seems kinda weird innit

Oh boy we're gonna get the UTM reeanactment soon arent we. sighhhhhh

Btw what the hell is up with Mors truth powers. Apparently a lot of people in her bloodline have them?? What makes Mor so special then, i thought the reason she was special was because her power was unique. I guess its just uniquely strong then (FOR A WOMAN) but thats just lame and also weird imo

Oh the Hewn City is called 'Höhlenstadt' ['Cave City'] in german and I think that sounds pretty bad ngl. rare Alexandra Ernst L

Feyre keeps going about how Rhys is gonna risk everything for the sake of stopping the war and its like, girlie if you keep jacking him so hard youre gonna rip his dick off, but also, hes not gonna tell anyone where Velaris is right?? Like, it'll still be hidden and safe behind that force field, people are just gonna know of its existence now. And even if Veritas shows the queens Velaris by starting off with a birdseye view of Prythian and then zooming in, that wouldnt be enough for the mortal queens to figure out Prythians geography to the point where they could actually tell where it is, not the mention that Velaris is positioned in a way that makes any attacks, but especially attacks from the mortal land, extremely difficult

Feyre talking about the repressed desire she felt when she say Rhys all naked and vulnerable when he woke up from that nightmare is very inappropriate when you consider that he was dreaming about his rapist, but is also surprisingly relatable because I too like my men best when theyre submissive and crying. its a crime rhysand never ended up getting pegged tbh

Rhysand talking about how he cant bear the thought of Feyre mentally returning to UTM when she just barely managed to leave it behind is funny cuz its like, whos idea is it gonna be to dress Feyre up like she was when you were assaulting her UTM. i dont think its her

I dont know what it is but Im already so over this stupid plotline with Mor and Eris, maybe Im just tired cuz its early but god, i dont ever wanna hear about it again