#((i need to sleep but 😔 miles...))

[ownst0ry]

Miles calls his gf "my lady" btw

[landograndprix]

「Feel the magic ๛ l.n」

part xvi

✧.* you disappeared from the face of the earth for a couple of months for reasons and while your life is looking amazing to the outside, you've been going through it.

✧.* happy new year babies ❤️ theres a lil' times skip here — tag list is closed, follow @landonfourlibrary to be notified for updates :)

✧.* prev part - next part

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y/nusername

liked by carlossainz55, milouberger and 287,563 others

y/nusername lately dump 👶🏻

tagged: landonorris, maxfewtrell, cecilemoulin

view all 1,682 comments

norrizz I KNEW IT!!!!

cecilemoulin never been more excited about anything before 😍

bott_ass I am in fact speechless (in a good way)

charles_leclerc congratulations you guys!

sharl16 another baby for Charles to obsess over 😂

norry4 and y'all were convinced they broke up..I knew they were up to something 😂

mclaren baby mclaren 👶🏻🧡

carlossainz55 congrats! ❤️

chilisainz alexa play that should be me by Justin Bieber

hamilt44n a siblings just for me? 🥺

lanlan y'all sleeping on the last picture, this baby is already acting like a menace 😭

y/nluv ma'am this is more than just breaking your arm and having some complications 💀

landonorris ❤️❤️❤️

carlandooo dilf lando

y/nlandooo so happy for y'all but are we all going to ignore milou in y/n her likes 😭

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y/nusername

liked by oscarpiastri, milouberger and 206,453 others

y/nusername 🧡

tagged: landonorris, charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri

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piastripastry thank you for adopting oscar, it means a lot 🥺

norry4 never screamed so hard when I saw you pop up on my TV 😭

y/nlandooo living that wag life like you should

landonorris wrong hat..

oscarpiastri not really

y/nusername no

norrizz mom and dad fighting about the kids already 💀

leclerc_16 Charles smelling babies from miles away and trying to convert them to ferrari kids like usual..

yukisan milou hiding in the likes again

oscarpiastri 👍

y/nusername seat robber

landoscar lmfao stop 🤣

mrlandonorrizz aw lando and his parents 🥺

cecilemoulin friend sees cat, friend needs to stop, friend needs to take a picture

bott_ass did she take this one home too?

y/nusername wasn't allowed to take it home, had a good cry about it 😔

bott_ass why'd they mistreat a pregnant woman like that? :(

carlandooo so happy to see you back on the grid 🥰

maxfewtrell what's your man trying to do in that last picture?

y/nusername trying to feel important

cecilemoulin happy to see the step stool is used in public too

landonorris thanks guys

julieeeexo is it national bully lando day? 😂

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y/nusername

liked by landonorris, cecilemoulin and 273,876 others

y/nusername 👶🏻💙

tagged: landonorris

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maxfewtrell can't believe we're getting a second version of lando in a couple of weeks..

sharl16 the bullying just multiplied

carlandooo tripled, y/n bullies max as much as lando does 😂

hamilt44n how far along are you actually?

norrizz my babies are growing up so fast 😭

bott_ass boy mom y/n? Makes sense!

norry4 a mini lando? 😭

landonorris I'm always right

y/nusername boy i never said you were wrong..

yukisan kids no fighting pls :(

landonorris 💙💙💙

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y/nusername

liked by landonorris, milouberger and 226,989 others

y/nusername vegas with the lads

tagged: landonorris, oscarpiastri

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chilisainz oscar night out with his parents 🥰

norry4 someone tell milou to fuck off, she's dead to all of us..

yukisan fuck off @.milouberger

carlito55 be gone @.milouberger

norstappenn you're gonna get married here right? RIGHT?! 👀

fewtrelllando a couple of besties on their night out 😭

bott_ass super happy you're becoming a mom but I'm sad we don't get to see you drive in Vegas :(

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Everything taglist; @thomaslefteyebrow @hopefulinlove @smoothopz @honethatty12 @cixrosie @parkersmjs @ireadthensuetheauthors @celestialams @be-your-coffee-pot @heli991113 @kodzuvk @reality-is-a-con @80sloverry @bibissparkles @myescapefromthislife @lanando4 @elliegrey2803 @ravisinghs-wife @harrysdimple05 @minkyungseokie @pretty-little-bunny382728

Feel the magic taglist: @celesteblack08 @mrsmaybank13 @cha-hot @judesgfirl @roseseraj @kissesandmartinis @jpg3 @amulhermaisfelizdomundo @marialovesf1 @silkenthusiasts @luvrrish @laneyspaulding19 @emily-b @formula1bby @buckybarnessweetheart @strawberrychita @iifloweringnightsii @buendiabebeta @babyvinnie @mishaandthebrits @hockeyboysarehot @ironmaiden1313 @justdreamersdream @dreamsarebig @for-our-moony @sadg3 @gaslysainz @goldenharrysworld - continue tags in comments

[megistusdiary]

Hi again LMAO

Can i request a gentle dom sampo eating out reader to help her destress from her studies??👉👈

i hope he comes home to you soon😔😔

With love, Cait Someone you dont know

omg hey ~ 🤭 sorry i disappeared for a few days there, everyone. chemistry is hard ‼️

i also hope sampo comes home. i saw his attack recently with the chocolate box or whatever and also his wink....panties? dropped.

wouldn't it be nice to have someone come relieve all the stress from studying... also this turned out long bc plot

gentle-dom!sampo x fem!(anatomy/pronouns) reader

warnings: 18+ content, minors dni!

oral (reader receiving), praise, sampo asking natasha for sex advice, gripping the hips (real), sampo is stronger than reader (enough to hold you still 😏), fluff and some after-care at the end!

"guess who's here?~" sampo called out, pushing the door closed with his hip and kicking his shoes off to the side.

when you didn't respond immediately, sampo tossed his hair to the side, taking in a deep breath. "i said, 'guess who's here?' it's a real surprise!" sampo grinned, sneaking around the corner towards the couch.

he jumped out, eyebrows furrowing when he realized you weren't sitting (even sleeping!) there. aeons...

sampo called out again for you before he heard frustrated paper crumpling from your room. "aha!"

sampo came barreling in, pushing your door open and scaring the shit out of you when you saw his shadow before you saw him.

the way you nearly jumped out of your skin had him doubling over. "that's right! it's me, the amazing, sampo koski! and i brought you," he paused to reveal a singular ruby-red rose, "a gift!"

it took him a moment to realize what was going on before he faltered, seeing crumpled up papers at your feet and books stacked a mile high on your desk.

"you're still studying? it's after dinner time. have you eaten yet?" sampo suddenly kneeled down next to you, laying the rose on your desk in favor of taking your hands instead.

"sampo, it's fine, i'm fine! really-"

"not acceptable!" he shook his head, wagging a finger in your face and pulling you up.

"i'm really not hungry, i just need to finish this."

you could see sampo pouting as you slumped back into the chair.

"won't you at least take a break and spend some time with me?" sampo whined when he sat back down by your feet, leaning his chin on your thigh.

"you're not a puppy."

"but aren't i as cute as one?" he gave you the biggest eyes he could manage, watching your lips quirk up as you shook your head at him.

"okay, okay." you turned to gather all your papers in a stack, standing up and kicking your failed notes into a pile. before you could pick them up, sampo was already collecting them in his arms.

"allow me!" he smiled up at you, dumping everything into the bin beside your bed.

"helpful and sweet, how did i get so lucky?" you mused, sitting on your bed, patting the spot next to you.

sampo, taking liberties, of course, flopped onto your bed on his stomach, rolling to rest his head on your lap. you carded your fingers through his hair, feeling him snuggle further into your thigh.

"what's got you so worked up anyways?" he questioned as you sighed deeply.

"school stuff. i've been studying some of these concepts for hours, but it doesn't even matter. i still don't get it."

"why don't you let me take your mind off of it for a little?" sampo suggested, looking up at you with a cheeky smirk as you scoffed at him.

"don't even-"

"i'm being one-hundred percent serious!" he rushed to sit up, almost knocking you in the jaw. "come on! let me make you feel good~"

"okay-" within seconds, sampo had you resting against the pillows on your bed, already peeling off your shorts. "woah, someone's eager."

"i've been thinking about this all day. you know, i was asking natasha about this stuff and i really think i've got the hang of it now."

your eyes widened, processing exactly what he meant. "sampo, have you been telling natasha about our sex life?"

sampo froze, fingers hovering over the waistband of your panties. "...was i not supposed to? you don't have anything to worry about! miss natasha is a doctor, after all."

you groaned, covering your face with embarrassment.

"i promise it'll feel good." sampo tugged your underwear down. you watched him fling the piece of cloth somewhere across the room, spreading your thighs and holding them down against you.

you felt shy, face heating up as he exposed you completely. he leaned down, hair tickling your thighs as he kissed your clit tenderly. your hands moved down, gripping his hair when he slid his tongue across your pussy.

little noises slipped out from your lips as he circled your clit, sucking on it gently every so often. mumbles of his name and whines came out as you shifted around, though to no avail beneath sampo's iron grip.

"good, so good-" sampo groaned into you, feeling you shiver from the vibrations.

you felt his tongue prod at your hole, circling around and collecting the slick, pressing in and feeling you clench around his tongue. your thighs trembled beneath his hands, feeling him holding you down firmly.

he moved back up to play with your clit, using the tip of his tongue to trace out the letters of his name and then yours as your soft moans turned into more breathy whimpers and cries.

he pressed you down further, exposing your pussy more for him as he breathed heavily against you, fingers twitching against your skin. "you're pretty like this. i like it when you're relaxed and enjoying yourself. you deserve a break." he cooed into you, trailing wet and messy kisses across your thighs.

"you think so?" you laughed, wiping the tears from the corners of your eyes.

"mhm," he nodded against you. "working too hard."

"oh- i'm sorry!" your hands pulled at his hair, hips jumping up against his grip when he played with you just right, pulling you closer against his lips.

your hearing began to turn fuzzy as you stared up at the ceiling, eyes fluttering shut as he mumbled something against you again, feeling vibrations course through your body as your orgasm built. "please..." you muttered, moving one hand up to grip the sheets as he sped up his actions.

sampo kept going, doing exactly what miss natasha told him to. he trusted her fully, glad that he went to her for guidance as you trembled underneath him now. he liked seeing you like this, away from your work and enjoying yourself for once. you were too cute, he thought to himself.

as soon as your orgasm hit, you twisted your fingers into your hair, riding it out as he collected the dripping slick from your hole.

you relaxed onto the bed, twisting your body when he continued to lap at your pussy. "sampo- hey, no more, ah-" you lightly batted at the crown of his head, feeling him pull away reluctantly.

"so...was it good?"

you laughed, feeling exhausted as your eyes closed against your will. "yeah...really good.."

sampo grinned, leaving briefly to grab a damp cloth, cleaning you up before depositing you into your bed. "a little nap is good once in a while." he decided aloud.

he tapped your shoulder quickly, watching you tiredly open your eyes. "i'm going to go get you something to eat. you stay here and sleep a little, okay?"

"don't have to tell me twice." you mumbled, rolling over and burying yourself into your blankets, drifting off into a peaceful, dream-filled sleep.

[sadie-bug345]

the gang on a road trip :3

i love this request sm!! LETS GO👇

ponyboy:

i feel like he’d try to read but when they’re all in the stupid MINI VAN TOGETHER HE CANNOT GET PEACE

also like reading on a drive can kinda make you carsick

and pony seems the type to get carsick i’m sorry😭💀

BUT i myself get carsick so it’s not bullying🫶

anyways he’s probably chill until someone mentions playing some roadtrip game like I Spy or smth LMAO

he seems the type to get actually triggered and annoyed during that game cause people *cough* dally *cough* choose stupid stuff (more on this later🙏)

johnny:

probably sleep or smth low maintenance

i just feel like johnny doesn’t need constant attention to feel appreciated yk

anyways he’d also just seem the type to carry on a goofy convo throughout the drive

like just RANDOM and it lasts for like hours LMAOO

people probably voluntold him to sit in the middle seat 😔😭

sodapop:

he the type of kid to yell the most random stuff out of context in the back of the bus😭😭😭

so that kinda translates to this

his brain goes like a billion miles per hour so if you aren’t steve or two bit chances are you don’t even know what they’re doing at this point

finds ANY source of entertainment

usually bothers darry with steve LMAOO

darry:

darry drives cause no one else is trusted😔

maybe lets steve drive cause who else is gonna take over at night🧐

DALLY? AW HELL NAH

anyways he drives and definitely gives the annoyed dad

like

”if someone kicks my seat ONE MORE TIME IM TURNING THIS CAR RIGHT BACK AROUND”

and then everyone’s good til dal loses a game of travel uno and punches his seat out of anger

and everyone goes quiet like 😟

and darry’s tweaking but ITS OK THEY STILL MAKE IT

dally:

rides shotgun

just a menace honestly

i feel like he dislikes being cooped up and bc of that he just is even more of a jerk

like pony thought itd be fun to play i spy and dally’s like “what a stupid game 🙄”

and then says “i see something….blue”

and everyone’s like “uhh the sky”

and just guessing EVERYTHING and dals like

“nope😼”

eventually he says “it’s the blood in everyone’s veins rn😀because blood is actually blue before it hits the air and oxidizes and then it turns red🤷‍♂️🥰”

and everyone’s like 😐

and he is just like “well last week pony had a bio test and he wouldn’t SHUT UP ABOUT THAT FACT SO”

two-bit:

honestly just doesn’t stop. talking.

which is ok cause my guy is funny ASF

BUT for people on their last thread like darry he’s just like 😤

anyways two is just making fun of EVERYTHING

like isn’t it funny that pony’s seatbelt still has the child lock on it

and that dally is getting found out for actually caring about what people talk about (ie the random fact he remembers pony talking abt)

honestly a blast

he suggests a lot of games and lowk destroys

steve:

just goofs off w soda CONSTANTLY

which is really funny

i feel like we underestimate how funny they are together

probably talks abt cars the majority of the way there to no one in particular LMAO

it’s ok cause when the curtis car inevitably breaks down halfway there he goes into

MECHANIC MODE

and saves the day🫶🥰💞

TYSM FOR REQUESTING!! my requests are opennn🫶🫶

[wordbunch]

the fellowship in a college dorm

a/n.... uhhHHH this is a thing..... i have nothing to say in my defense. have fun 💛

warnings: mentions of alcohol and weed i guess? but literally just mentions.

Aragorn + Boromir: they actually bicker a surprising amount, but they’re the only ones allowed to talk shit about each other // every other night they accidentally end up talking until like 2 a.m. and having a heart-to-heart // neither of them likes cleaning but they will definitely grumpily do it when it’s their turn // Aragorn makes tea a lot and he has a collection with various tea flavors // also he is outside a lot so he isn’t even in the room that much and on the outside Boromir is like hell yes 😎😏 but actually he’s like 😔😔😔 // Boromir wants to have a pet but it’s not allowed so he feeds birds or stray cats outside // Aragorn will eat whatever is in the fridge, no matter how old, and miraculously never get sick // Boromir’s guilty pleasure are long showers // Faramir is the lil brother who studies abroad but likes to come visit and then he crashes in their room but he lowkey hates the mess and he gives the room a deep clean every single time // in return Boromir and Aragorn take him to cool places and buy him food and they act responsible when Faramir gets wasted (he is a total lightweight) // their room is right underneath Merry and Pippin and they often wonder WHAT is happening upstairs🤨 // generally they’re very decent neighbors to have except for when Faramir comes to visit, then they get up to shenanigans because they wanna be those Super Cool Big Brothers who do all sorts of “forbidden” things with the lil bro and living it up 🤪// surprisingly (or not??) Boromir is the one who always organizes things like ‘the secret santa’ for the dorm squad also he is the designated “bring the bluetooth speaker” guy // Aragorn likes to make and build DIY stuff + Boromir is prone to accidentally breaking things = bad combo // however it will usually get smoothed over with a beer or two, which is usually how they solve their lil conflicts 🍻

Legolas + Gimli: the LIGHTEST sleeper sharing a dorm with the one who snores like a truck and cannot be woken up, if not by a nuclear attack // Legolas immediately invested in ear plugs and he just lays down looking at the ceiling for hours on end while Gimli happily sleeps // Legolas tries to have aesthetically pleasing decorations and he definitely has quite a few plants on his side of the room, but he really. loves. stickers. so his aesthetic goes out the window pretty quickly, and suddenly there’s stickers everywhere // Gimli has posters of like, rock and metal bands on the walls and one pinboard dedicated exclusively to concert & festival tickets // he also likes to play loud music with open windows and sometimes Legolas wants to STRANGLE him, but eventually he realizes he will miss it when the semester is over (and he will miss the snoring too)  🥺🥺🥺// strands of fallen hair everywhere. everywhere. // also both of them have lots of hair products, but obviously for very different hair types so… chaos ensues if they accidentally switch them (accidentally? Merry and Pippin have entered the chat.👀) // Gimli eats all of Legolas’ leftovers // Legolas 100% asks super weird questions at like 3 in the morning and he most definitely has a 13 step skincare routine // once he was doing skincare in the middle of the night, because he can study well at night and then he needs to unwind, and fsr Gimli woke up and was scared shitless by Legolas in a face mask // Legolas lounges around in tights and always ALWAYS has a witty comment for any situation or person // out of everyone, they’re the pair of roommates with the biggest differences, but they bully each other affectionately the most and they bond A LOT over secretly talking shit about others; however, nobody else in the 500 mile radius isn’t allowed to say a single bad thing about their friends // Gimli will drink straight outta the carton/bottle/whatever, while Legolas uses fancy thrifted champagne glasses to drink WATER✨

Merry + Pippin: their room is the designated hangout place // more often than not there’s at least one more person in the room just chilling // also they got The Weed…so maybe that’s why?? ☘️☘️ // literally never a quiet moment // the room is a mess but it’s never dirty! it’s just organized chaos and both of them always know where everything is // posters, random trinkets, a collection of random bottle caps or something like that // Merry has fairy lights and quite a few books and he’s used to completely tuning out Pippin’s random rambling while reading/studying // Pippin sings in the shower (basically canon actually) and loses track of time and suddenly the whole floor is complaining about not having warm water // they go over to hang with Boromir when Aragorn is off to who knows where // they wear each other’s clothes almost always and have a pretty much shared wardrobe at this point // accidentally almost burned down or flooded the room more than once but they REALLY like scented candles!! // Merry has some miserable old acoustic guitar and thinks he is A Musician and Songwriter™ (everyone except Sam is like no <3) // pre-drinks before going out are ALWAYS in their room and then others accidentally leave some of their stuff there; the following week Pippin just appears in a band tshirt (of a band he doesn’t even know) that might have belonged to Gimli at some point… 🤫// when Pippin talks gibberish in his sleep, Merry records it and plays it during hangouts // Merry, Frodo and Legolas have a mini book club but a wildly different taste in books // when Pippin goes to someone else’s room, he will point at things on the shelves/walls and ask a hundred ‘and where’s that from’s’ 👀// so many times something (better than someone!) accidentally fell through the window and then Aragorn or Boromir caught it downstairs // they would really like a pet but they can’t so once Pippin caught a butterfly in a jar as a pet substitute, but felt too bad and released it almost immediately🥺 // Merry likes to play therapist for others but… take his advice at your own risk

Frodo + Sam: literally the quietest room ever, others sometimes wonder if they’re alive // of course Sam has as many plants on the windowsill as possible // Frodo has a nice little book collection and some old maps as wall decor and also he likes collecting nice stuff like postcards or magnets  // they have an air humidifier and scented candles and it’s the coziest room for sleeping 😌😌😌// so their friends will gladly crash there for a nap, especially after an exam or a party // also they have some nice herbal soaps // obligatory classical/instrumental music for studying // Sam obviously uses the common kitchen the most, and he always makes too much of everything and then feeds his friends, and even leaves some leftovers in the kitchen so that others from the building can freely take it 💖// Sam and Aragorn are those that are called when something needs a quick fix, like a leaking tap in the bathroom or sth // Frodo is one of those people that are like, resident advice giver, but Legolas is surprisingly nosy?? so he will just drop by (with an obligatory snack) to listen to whoever is spilling their woes to Frodo // neither Sam nor Frodo really have the heart to yell at Merry and Pippin when they’re being too wild, but ONCE it was just too much and it was during exam season, and they enlisted Gimli to help them pull a prank in which he pretended to be a security guard threatening to throw out Merry and Pippin 😈// Gimli has a really soft spot for these two idk, he’ll be like “if anyone EVER bullies you-” // Sam falls fatally in love with someone every other week and he will literally sit by the window and sigh and stare into the distance while Frodo is trying not to die laughing // they have a little projector that they bring for movie nights // Frodo made a groupchat for all of them… resulting in even more tomfoolery <3

-

i’ll be sappy for a moment and say i’m grateful for all the fun and crazy times i’ve had in my dorm life... it’s been good thanks 4 everything 🥰

✨ taglist my beloved ✨ @lotrnonsense​​​​​​ @starlady66​​​​​​ @queenmeriadoc​​ @entishramblings​​​​​​ @thesolarangel​​​​​​ @silversword7000​​​​​​ @friendofthefellowshipsnerdblog​​​​​​ @averys-place​​​​​​ @valkyriepirate​​​​​​ @emmaarenstarr​​​​​​ @noldorinpainter​​​​​​ @asianbutnotjapanese​​​​​​ @adamgetawaydriver​​​​​​ @fenharel-enaste​​​​​​ @ironmandeficiency​​​​​​      @starryeyedrogue​​ @dinofromspac3​​  @wisheduponastar​ @lady-of-imladris​ @frodo-cinnamonroll​  (i sincerely apologize for putting you through this)

[isa-ghost]

some qphil and pomme hcs 🥹? i was thinking abt the rescue we were robbed of

Okay bear with me, I didn't get to see her a lot because I didn't watch most POVs she was on so these might not be spicy and deep or smth, they'll mostly be silly or surface level stuff. 😭

Phil headcanons masterlist

He thinks she's one of, if not THE most brilliant egg. Pomme's mind is something else /pos. He'd love to sit down and pick her brain sometime as one big brain to another (though he'd never admit he's big brain).

He makes dad jokes about Chayanne making anything apple flavored/centric like "How could you cook Pomme like that D:" and it always gets him smacked by both Chay and Lullah.

And then he'll see Pomme and be like YOU'RE ALIVE :O!! and watches her scramble like ?!?!?! before dying laughing and explaining himself. Etoiles has started to get in on this, much to Pomme's dismay.

He makes so many apple-related dad jokes in general, he enjoys watching all the kids die inside too much when he makes them. He doesn't even LIKE dad jokes that much, he's just a shithead.

He actively encourages Pomme to "compete" with Richas in collecting dads

There have been multiple occasions where they've had a Moment of some sort with or without other people around and he's told Pomme how much of her parents he can see in her. He's talked about seeing Baghera, Etoiles, and Pierre.

Phil loves the way Pomme just kinda blends in with her parents. She's not a Mommy's Girl or a Daddy's Girl. If she's with Baghera she's a lot like her and that her is different than when she's with Etoiles and those are both different from when she's with Pierre. And so on. Phil finds it endearing that Pomme takes after each and every parent and how it really shows when she's with them individually.

The couple times she (usually also with Dapper or Richas) would come to Phil in the wake of big stressful things going on, it was because she knew of all the islanders, Phil is one of the ones who's no doubt seen the most in his lifetime. He Gets It. He'll be real and raw about it, he won't sugarcoat just because she's a little girl. He'll level with her, and that kind of insight and comfort is what she needs in those trying times.

I think if Phil was Pomme's parent then she would've pulled a Chayanne and personally beat Ender King's ass right out of his body. And she'd spend day and night beforehand painstakingly plotting a plan to ensure it goes right too.

My memory is fuzzy on Pomme's first day, but I remember Phil being on high alert while the French were getting on their feet and offering everything he could in order to help keep Pomme safe while they settled in. Pomme's never forgotten that. If there were ever a crisis that left all of the French AND Bad + their bases inaccessible or unsafe, she'd go straight to Phil next. She knows how much effort he puts into keeping his bases safe and secure, and she knows he has always dropped everything at any moment no matter what in order to prioritize the eggs.

God these two shake hands on the insomnia fr. The only reason Phil eventually passes out is bc of his weird universe transcending fuckery. He may willingly Go to sleep but his ass doesn't willingly Fall asleep if that makes sense. Brain too busy going 90 miles a minute.

Phil's never thought abt this but I am: Of all the eggs, I think Pomme is one of the ones who would survive the best in his Hardcore World. She'd lock the FUCK in.

And Phil would've seen that if we weren't robbed of the rescue. 😔 The rescue would've changed how Phil views Pomme in a positive way I think.

Because as of right now, he just feels awful that Pomme has to grow up and be mature so much faster. There are too many horrors, she just doesn't let herself be a kid. Chayanne does similar things but he at least still let's himself be a kid. It saddens Phil that Pomme seems to think she can't be, even if she wants to be. :(

If he wasn't afraid of an awful accident happening, he'd probably spar with her. She's the daughter of Etoiles, he has no doubt she's a lil fireball. But he only trusts himself to spar with Chayanne and Lullah. (I think I've said this somewhere already,, hm. Well at least I'm consistent LMAO)

[xiphiaarts]

Do you have any headcanons for the UF brothers for your lovebuggs AU?

Barely 😔 I've been working so much my daydreaming is down the drain and it's draining me

Draining hehe

BUT HERES WHAT I DO HAVE

Fell paps would be demanding and worried as all hell for their bonded, doesn't like letting them go out without an escort hell probably doesn't even like them touching the ground and carries them all the time. He doesn't feel guilty for being violent as much as he would if he weren't sick, and you can tell he's about to be violent because he goes from loud and belligerent to eerily quiet the span of moments. Still can't help but keep his bonded at their best tho, regularly scheduled meals, workout regimens and grass touching appointments are nonnegotiable

He does not sleep, beloved around or not, he has to be awake to keep watch and protect them, so he's often exhausted, and this lack of sleep may result in him seeing things or becoming paranoid, worsening his protective nature. This can be fixed by begging and pleading with him to just take a quick nap, a short rest, he'll only agree if you sleep with him in his tangle of limbs or maybe even bound in a blanket burrito to keep you from escaping. He'll sleep for a good while to recharge his bones but if you wriggle a tiny bit too much he /will/ wake up.

Id say a good way to distract him for a while is to tell him the house feels dirty or something, he'll go on a cleaning spree, nest must be spotless but you only have about forty-five minutes of freedom before he comes breaking down your door again

Fell sans would probably be a little shit, moreso than usual. Maybe even a little hyperactive, his lovebugg feeding not only off of the bond between he and his beloved but the excess magic that wafts off of him due to stress, meaning he has plenty of energy to invade his bonded's space. Doesn't care if they doesn't want him following them around, not like they can protect themselves, not like they can stop em, he's trying to keep them safe in his own, mean, bullyish way. Even if he has to hide a few bodies or delete a few contacts in your phone he's doing what's best for a weak lil thing like you

Fells general lack of self expression and the distance he keeps from others would also be changed, he'd be ontop of his bonded, constantly, cuddles kisses hugs or he gets an attitude and makes it their problem, missing belongings, grumbling in the corner until he gets what he wants, questionably harmless pranks, the whole mile.

He behaves when given the affection he craves so much tho, perfectly harmless to their beloved when his parasite is well fed and at peace, besides the occasional nip he gives them for the sake of his cuteness aggression, hes no danger to his bonded, just those around them, his distrust of every other living thing in their vicinity could prove an issue. It can come off as jealousy but it's much more akin to food guarding

A good way to distract him for a while would probably be to just hold him until he falls asleep, he'll be out like a light, but when he wakes up and realizes his bonded gone he may have some choice words for them (some whines and questions of if you even love him 😔)

God I love these guys I need to DRAW THEM THANKYOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING

[delopsia]

*whispers* ignore this if this isn’t what you meant by thoughts 🍰 also, i’m sorry for sending back to back thought requests 💐

if two of the three of the trio are going it and the remaining person walks in on them, are they joining or watching? 🤔💕

I don't even know what I mean when I say "thoughts" 😭I've gotta start mentioning that they can be absolutely anything in the world, because there is...no criteria over here 😔 oops

Rhett almost always wants to join. He's like a kid in a candy store; he just can't help himself. That man can get into the mood at the drop of a hat (literally. Put a cowboy hat on Bob and suddenly Rhett is falling to his knees). Seeing Reader and Bobby together? He's short-circuiting. Simply watching can be nice, but it does nothing but frustrate him. He wants to touch!

Every now and then, he'll be too tired to join, but he still wants to. That's almost always picked up by the other two because he sort of...pouts with his eyes closed? He's half asleep because he's exhausted, but he's still sulking. Why does he need sleep? It's not fair!

He's barely awake when he feels two hands skirting up his thighs; his fluttering eyelashes are the only sign that he's even noticed it. It's hard to pass up an opportunity to hear his deep grumbles, too tired to do anything but lay back and let them do what they want to him.

Robby's a bit of a gamble; he likes watching as much as he does joining, but every once in a while, he just can't get in the mood.

Sometimes, he's chomping at the bit to join. It seems to happen most often when he's tied up with something else; on an important phone call, tied up with a plan he can't cancel, and especially when he's overseas. He wants to be there, feel them.

He's prone to unintentionally scaring Rhett and Reader because they didn't? Even know he was in the room? His favorite instance is when he came home from work early, and neither heard him come in until he'd started kissing Rhett's back.

Unrelated: Rhett's elbow is very, very sharp.

Others, he'll meander into the room and urge them to keep going without him, sitting back and slowly drawing his cock out of his jeans, content to watch. He's very content to watch, but Rhett has long since figured out that slinking over and kissing at the underside of his cock will get him to join pretty damn quick.

And then there was that time he walked into the bedroom and straight up got in bed while Rhett and Reader were having their fun...

Send me Miles, Rhett & Bob thoughts!

[brucespringsteen]

Hi, do you have any beginner tips for lifting/getting into the gym? I no longer want to be a scrawny waifish butch and instead wanna be able to pick up my gf and look like mid 80s Bruce… If you’re comfortable talking about it I’d love to hear if you have any tips… I’ve been researching and have learned that diet is a huge part in building muscle but as far as the gym goes I’m lost… I’m honestly mostly just nervous because I have no clue where to start and don’t want some dude to help me (nothing wrong honest help I’m just shy and get embarrassed)… Thank you!!!

hi king 🤝🏻

im so happy 2 talk about this cos im in my musclebound era again

disclaimer what i know is a mix of what i learned from my dad and reddit threads LOL and my own trial and error. weightlifting really is the gayass journey of all time 💪🏼😋

first gonna keep it real with u ive lost a lot of muscle mass from stupid life events n being sad lol but im actually getting back into a routine for the first time in over a year. so i haven't properly lifted anything heavier than the 15lbs dumbells i got at home 😂 when i was once able to press more than my weight ✊🏼😔 BUT form is so much more important than lifting heavy. u will get better results lifting at a weight that you can control and build up lifting heavier over time 👍🏼 which i can go more in depth about how to do that. good form is so sexy and makes u feel and look so badass

u might find more eloquent lifters out there who talk about the mind and muscle connection and visualization. it's really cool stuff that connects practicing mindfulness as u workout which is what makes weightlifting so meditative to me. this will also help u maintain good form and i think nourishes a healthy mindset toward working out/yourself in general

n you are definitely right about diet playing a huge part. don't worry about bulking/cutting when ur first starting out, most important thing is making sure you're getting enough protein. if u are iron deficient i would look into taking a supplement! dont know all the science but iron keeps ur oxygen flowing better, so your stamina can be down if ur iron count is low. my mindset about diet is the simpler the better and u should never be miserable lol. i will never give up beer & pizza & a good time 🫡

second most important thing is sleep. make sure u get enough.

1. back/shoulders and biceps

going to the gym can be a little scary, but that's where having a routine helps so much 🧑‍💻doing one of those dynamic workout routines u find on an instagram reel every now and then can be fun and i recommend it. BUT doing a random workout Everytime u workout will make it difficult to see results. doing the same workouts is how u can see ur progression better and focus on good form. im talking about learning the basics of benching, squatting, and deadlifting. 😜✌🏼

if u can, i would aim a routine of 3-4 times a week. I kept it like this:

2. leg day and abs

3. chest and triceps

what helped in staying consistent w going to the gym was having a set time where i would go. ritualistic

4th extra day: fun cardio like interval training or boxing. OR if i was feeling like i just needed a chill day a slow incline walk on treadmill/outside😊 then do some really intense stretching/foam rolling

here is an example of a chest/tris day

The 3 "T's" stand for tiers starting with the most difficult exercises, so I could use most of the energy I have on it.

To elaborate further on how to see progress: say this week you're able to bench press 60lbs. Next week you try 70lbs on your last rep and it's kinda hard. The third week, you bench 60lbs again, and it feels a little easier now. The fourth week, you're benching 70lbs on your last two sets. By the fifth week, you find you're able to do your entire workout with 70! Etc repeat etc

when i first started i kept one of those tiny composition books w different workouts and id also keep track of how much i was lifting when i reached a new pr/mile time/etc. u can also just keep this in ur notes app. but i found having the paper in front of me was more efficient than continuously looking at my phone and fighting the urge to check apps in between sets lol. also if i was getting texts id have No Idea which just helped me reinforce the gym was Me Time

before u buy into a gym membership tho, take advantage if they have a free trial. u can find what time is least busy/if the vibe fits for u.

another tip. put a photo 1985 bruce on ur wall trust me this will help.

I can go more indepth about specific workouts or if u got other questions, lmk!

U got this!

[leighsartworks216]

The Viper (Part 6)

Jaskier x gn!reader

Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five - Part Seven - Part Eight - Part Nine - Part Ten - Part Eleven - Part Twelve

I just love angst UwU

Warnings: angst (mostly toward the end but a little bit at the beginning), swearing, allusions to sensory overload, being touched against consent (not sexual), bad smells, loud sounds, panic attack, nightmares, no Bayard the horse this chapter 😔

Word Count: 2423

Masterlist

Tag List Form

You didn’t sleep that night. The lingering fear of what you may see, be reminded of, kept your eyes open. Between the stars and Jaskier’s snoring, you were left all alone to your mind. Flashes of memories arose against your will. And that boy… All night, you fought to remember his name, but all that came up was the sight of his corpse on the cold cellar floor as you were dragged away.

“So,” Jaskier began, once the sky was above the horizon, and you both sat with full bellies from breakfast, “where to?”

You just gave him a funny look. “What do you mean?”

He seemed just as caught off guard by your question. “Well, I’m sure you’re going to be traveling around, looking for contracts, and, uhm,” his fingers fiddled with the handle of his mug, “well, I need a guide to Oxenfurt. If you’re heading that way, that is. I don’t wish to… impose.” His eyes glazed over for a moment. You knew exactly what he was thinking about.

“You wish to Winter there?”

Snapping back to the present, he nodded, emboldened by the question. “Yes! I have a small little place there, and I teach at Oxenfurt University over the winters.”

You nodded, slowly, trying to picture a route from Hengfors in Caingorn all the way through Redania.

“You don’t have to!” He stumbled over his words, trying to figure out an alternative plan if you said he couldn’t go with you. It turned toward mumbling the more uncertain he became. “I can follow the trails well enough, and stop by towns. I don’t know how spaced out they are from each other, though… I don’t know how to start a fire, hm. Maybe I could rent a horse? Do they do that? Rent out horses?”

“You’re welcome to come along with me, Jaskier,” you said. His eyes lit up, but you were still apprehensive on the whole matter. “Are you sure you’ll be alright? After everything Geralt said…”

His eyes dimmed once more. You both stared, silent, as patrons ate and chatted and prepared themselves for the day ahead around you. He gauged his own feelings, searching within himself to figure out if he really was ready to go on another adventure with another Witcher. You searched his eyes for any hints as to what he was thinking.

He knew, rationally, you weren’t Geralt - you’d proven that fact to him over and over again on your short trip down the mountain alone. But with a new Witcher, who had different morals, different teachings, came different issues and obligations. You were not Geralt.

After a deep breath in, the bard nodded. “If you’ll allow me the honor of traveling with you, Viper, I promise…” He swallowed, brow furrowing. “Things will be different.”

-

Your head remained on a swivel as you and Jaskier wandered the market. He was rambling a mile-a-minute about a romantic interest he once had who cornered him in a market stall once and wouldn’t let up until he bought her flowers - from her own shop no less. You would have asked how the relationship went after that, but your mind, admittedly, was a little hazy.

It’s been three nights since you last slept properly. The most rest you had was a few hours during short naps, all of which ended with waking in a cold sweat and flinching at the sight of Jaskier’s eyes. Why did they have to be so blue?

Your fighting style was different from most Witchers. Instead of going straight in for a kill, attacking from the front as Geralt would have done, you were taught to be nothing more than a shadow, sneaking up on your prey until the only knowledge they had of your presence was your blade slitting their throat open. Such was not the case in your current state. You’d been careless and messy. You were running out of ingredients for your potions.

That was not exactly why you were here, however. No, you were here for- Aha.

“This way, Jaskier.”

The bard followed with blind trust as you led him to a small hut. He only paused once you reached the door, to read the sign hanging above.

“An alchemist? What d’you need an alchemist for?” You knocked. He raised an eyebrow. “Is this for a contract?”

You sighed impatiently, foot tapping as you waited. “No, this is for me.”

He did not know of your nightmares. Or, if he did, he was very good at being quiet about it. Jaskier opened his mouth to ask another question when an elderly lady opened the door. She gasped at the sight of your eyes.

“Oh! A Witcher! Come in! Come in!”

The hut was quaint, but homey. Shelves of herbs, spices, liqueurs, and monster parts filled the space, crowding guests toward the alchemy table in the main room, where the lady led you both.

“Oh, where are my manners? Would you like some tea? Or something to eat, perhaps? My granddaughter, bless her heart, baked a fresh loaf of bread early this morn.”

“No, thank you.” You smiled, but even Jaskier could see it was anxious. “I’m here to request a potion.”

“Of course, of course!” The woman pulled up a couple of worn-down chairs for you and Jaskier to sit in. The bard lowered himself into one uncertainly, eyes constantly flickering between you and the woman. You stayed standing. The alchemist rushed around to her shelves. “What kind of potion is it you’re wanting, dearie? I’ve not had Witchers stop by in a while, but if you need blade oils, I can make ‘em in a pinch.”

“No.” Something about the woman’s motherly nature put you on edge. Jaskier wondered why. “I need something for keeping away nightmares.”

The woman hummed, shifting glass bottles and jars around with little clinks as she looked for what she needed. “Sure thing, dearie. I can have it ready in a couple hours for you to pick up.”

“You can’t have it done faster?”

She chuckled, wrinkled cheeks rosy and warm, as though she had been asked such a thing a thousand times before. She turned to face you with several bottles in her arms. “I’m afraid not, hun. I would if I could, believe you me.” The bottles she grabbed were dropped unceremoniously onto the table with a clatter, and she scurried over to another large shelf to grab more. “Best busy yourself while you wait. Time doesn’t move any faster when you stare at the sun!”

You sighed. Your shoulders sagged. But there was no fighting the old woman. You nodded your head at Jaskier, who stood and left with you. You made a beeline for the town’s notice board, hoping someone may have something interesting for you to do in the meantime.

“You’re having nightmares?”

You hummed. You lifted up a paper asking for sugar to read the note below it. Another Gwent challenge, identical to another paper at the bottom corner of the board.

“What about?” Jaskier scrunched his nose up at a paper beckoning ‘pretty girls’ for a good night. “If you don’t mind my asking.”

Something inside you screamed. It longed to shout what was plaguing your nights. It ached to rip open your soul and bare it to everyone who thought all Witchers were monstrous mutants. It scratched and clawed at your ribs, at your lungs, at your heart, pleading for a release. For you to tell someone, anyone about the hell you endured as a child to be the creature you were now.

You swallowed thickly and bit your tongue. You would not let that feeling win out today.

“Hm.” You ripped a paper off the board. Jaskier read it over your shoulder. “Sounds like Drowners.”

-

The potion sat heavily in your hand. You wanted to drink the entire bottle and pass out, fall into an exhausted state of unconsciousness for days. But that fear lingered.

What if it didn’t work? What if this potion, brewed to suit a human’s needs, wasn’t strong enough on a Witcher? What if you saw him again…?

Jaskier looked up from his scribbled notes. The fight against the Drowners had passed by so quickly - and he had never been privy to such an event before - that he had rushed to get down every single thought he had in the moment. Unfortunately, now he was left with the terrible endeavor of translating his own words. He’d been at it for almost 30 minutes now. And all you’d done is sit there, thinking about taking the concoction.

“What are your nightmares about?” he tried again. His voice was soft.

Perhaps he caught you in a moment of weakness, or you were just so distracted with your thoughts, you did not notice the sad look that came over your features. “Awful things,” you whispered. You grimaced. And then you came back to your senses. In mere moments, the contents of the bottle were gulped down, and the empty vial was tucked safely away into your bags.

You cleared your throat and looked at him for the first time in several hours. “How was your first Drowner experience?”

A tight smile crossed his face. “I didn’t realize they were quite that ugly,” he joked. Barely a flicker of amusement in your eyes.

“Wait ‘til you see a Rotfiend.”

He sat up straighter, eyes aglow with curiosity. “A Rotfiend?” he enunciated. “What’s that?”

“They’re horrid,” you scowled. “Imagine a walking corpse, bloated, with skin sloughing off. Where one is found, more are sure to follow, to feast on dead flesh. The worst part, though, is when they die.”

Jaskier leaned forward, eager to learn more even as his face curled in disgust. “What happens?”

“They explode.”

He fell back against his tree, scoffing. “Now you’re just messing with me.”

“No, I’m not!”

“They explode?! Like-” He motioned his body exploding, starting from his chest and leaving him in an outward burst. “Explode-explode?”

You nodded.

He shook his head. He refused to believe something as vile as you were describing did something like blow up. “You’re messing with me.”

“They do! They explode and release clouds of poisonous gas!” You were grinning now as you tried explaining the monster to the bard. He was relieved to see you smiling again. “The good news is that one explosion can cause a domino effect on the others - one after another, all bursting into red clouds. I once had five of them die that way.”

“Yeah, well, I’ll believe it when I see it.”

-

Fuck.

You were back there. Again. Back at Gorthur Gvaed.

This time, though, you were freshly pulled from your mutations - the Trial of the Grasses - into the waking world. You were fighting with your newly enhanced vision, and powerful senses.

You remember everything being so loud when you woke up, but not like this. This was agony. It was like people were banging pots and pans together right next to your head, ringing bells in your ears, shouting, screaming, clapping, stomping. You cried and cried for it to stop. You couldn’t even hear your own voice.

And then the touching. Hands. All over your body. Clawing, grabbing, groping. Their touch burned, like a thousand fires under a hot sun. Everywhere they touched, the blistering, stinging pain followed. You tried fighting against it. Tried to push them off, kick at anybody else who came near. But they would just hit you if you did.

They held things under your nose. They need not have done so, for you could smell it across the room. But they did. Rotting meat and scented candles. Curdled milk and roses. Awful mixed with good, all blending together into a stench like no other.

You were one of the only children to survive; the mages who performed the mutations were curious to know what had become of their new bastard offspring. They would find your limits and push you to them, all so they could use you for their fucking schemes. You hated to think how they succeeded.

You woke up with a jolt. You could still feel their hands, smell their concoctions, hear the clanging. Never before had your nightmares left you feeling so helpless when you awoke. Everything felt out of your power.

You roughly pushed off your blanket and stood, running your hands over your arms and through your hair, over your face. You had to know no one was touching you. All the while, you paced around the camp. The sound of your footsteps amidst the silence of the morning forest was grounding. You counted how many steps it took for you to make it around the camp one time, and again, and again. You breathed in deeply the cool air. It smelt like pine trees and nuts, distant berries, the burnt out fire from last night, sandalwood and vanilla. Nothing smelled of rot or disease, and each scent had its own place in the woods.

Okay. You were okay.

“Viper?”

You fell into a sit back onto your bedroll, continuing to take deep breaths and rub your arms. You didn’t wish to look at Jaskier. You escaped those eyes for one night, and you wished to keep it that way for a little longer.

“Viper, are you okay?”

He was becoming worried now. You could hear it in his voice, in that slight warble in the back of his throat.

You nodded. Your hands slowed to a stop. The friction was beginning to burn your hands. “Just a nightmare.” Your voice was coarse and soft, as if you’d been sick for months. “It didn’t work.”

Jaskier sighed. He’d only been privy to a few of your nightmares - the soft whimpers in your sleep, or waking covered in sweat - but he had never woken you then. Now it was even worse than that. The alchemist’s potion didn’t work, perhaps even made things worse, and you were miles away from the next town where someone might have another solution.

“What are they about?” he asked again.

You just shook your head, face morphing into a pained grimace.

“It might help if you talk about it.”

“Please.” Your voice was so small. A plea. You shook your head again. “I can’t.”

He sighed, but backed off of the matter. Instead, he began picking up the camp, giving you the time and space you needed to recover from whatever it was you saw. Once you were back on the road, it was as if nothing ever happened.

---

Tag List:

@kmuir1

@writeawaythepain

[house-of-mirrors]

💐 and 🌲 for O!

💐 How does your OC handle being unwell or forced to rest in bed? Who cares for them and in what ways? Does your OC enjoy being doted on or are they a terrible patient? Reversed: is your OC good at taking care of others who are ill or in need?

Orsinio's a grumby patient. He will keep going until he physically can't anymore because he's used to pushing through chronic pain. When he did the cardinal's honey part of Nemesis, he was very sick for quite some time and initially tried to keep working until Samuel forced him into bed before he got pneumonia. His close group of people he trusts when he's sick are Samuel, Lucretia, my friend's OC Lucy, and September. And someone he doesn't trust but cares for him anyway in certain exceptional circumstances is May :)

Once in bed, he'll keep insisting he's fine really (the narrator: he was not fine) because he doesn't want to inconvenience anyone. Sometimes he feels guilty asking for help, like he should be able to handle this on his own, and there are plenty of people worse off than him that get by with no help. He secretly loves being cared for though. Resting up, being brought soup, enjoying the company of a loved one while recovering. He deserves it!!! And if a certain large bat were to offer a massage and extra restorative sleep... 🫣

He's sooooooo fussy when a loved one is unwell. Hovering, pacing around and giving orders to others who may be present on preparing tea or food, mostly just reassuring the unwell person with his presence, holding them to ground them and telling stories or humming to soothe them. He's talented at the mental health side of care, talking people down from crises, getting them to smile.

🌲 How deeply does your OC feel? Are they typically empathetic or do they have a hard time connecting with others in this way? What are they like when offering support and comfort to someone they care for?

Orsinio deals with hyperempathy in some situations, but on the flip side, it's easy to get on his bad side and he can be cold. He's a character in a tragedy 😔 he was a complete mess after Nemesis. He's a very reactive person, cries easily. He doesn't like this about himself, makes him feel weak sometimes. On the cosmic horror side of things, he is quite affected by magic, almost more sensitive than others to the effects of powers. There was a time period when he was really struggling against the pull of the North. When he did the discordance, he wasn't really mentally present and it almost swallowed him whole. During the breakdown arc, he couldn't stop himself from continuing to confront Miles despite knowing he was losing because he wanted to save them, even though they were an enemy; Miles was able to twist this deep caring against him. I took that text about it being unwise to look a silverer in the eyes and ran with it.

The second half of the prompt, I feel was answered above. He soothes with words.

[lilylived]

Tbh I've been REALLY tired ever since I had covid in 2020-21. It took me a year and a half to just get my lungs to work normally again.

Since then, there's a lot I want to do but I just don't have the energy. Like I'll plan out out my schedule sometimes, and then I get way too sleepy and only do maybe 2/3rds of it. Some people think I'm avoiding them on purpose.... but I literally don't have energy to do more than the basics.

I never used to be this easily tired before. I used to sleep like 4-5 hours and be able to stay active the entire next day without issue. Walked for miles and miles as well. Can't do that anymore; I need like 2 days of rest after walking a lot 😔

Now I'm seeing that apparently, most people with long Covid were people who tried to be too active too soon in their recovery.

So I'm just going to have to KEEP resting and sleeping.

[pick-em-pool]

WEEK 10

HELLO EVERYONE! WE are in DOUBLE DIGITS NOW ⏰⏰⏰ As we finish up week 10 🚨🚨🚨 It's officially the home stretch, who has got what it TAKES to claim the top Prize and the big bucks??? 💸💸💸

ABBY - 10 POINTS

Abby is INCHING 🐛 closer to Lisa in the standings here! Maybe you won't beat her in the pool, but I have another way for you all to win some money 💲💲💲 I have insider information that Abby met up with her friend G last weekend and personally drained Florida of all its alcoholic beverages. My advice: buy McDonald's stock Ⓜ After Abby has drank Florida from swampland into a desert I know for sure she spent an amount of money on McNuggets that would exceed the GDP of Zimbabwe 💰💰💰

GABBY - 10 POINTS

A great week for Gabby puts her within STRIKING 🎳 distance of Lisa. Does Abby have what it takes to - wait, Gabby - wait, no, Abby? All I'm saying is that Gabigail, wait no Abbrielle, wait, what? Can one of you two please change your names?! 👿 I keep getting confused here, why can't you two be different? I'm thinking Gabby and.... Bert 👍 Yep. Love it, keep it up Bert!

PEYTON - 9 POINTS

Peyton will be hanging out with your fearless commissioner this weekend, cheering on the gals for their half marathon 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♀️ The commish isn't running because he is a lazy sack of crap prefers Mimosa over Miles 🍾🍾🍾 Pey-Pey is not participating because the last time he ran in a crowd he was tackled by animal control employees assuming a giraffe had escaped the local zoo 🦒

JJ - 9 POINTS

our C A L I F O R N I A man clocked a solid week this go round 👍 and is firmly in the hunt for some moolah 💸💸💸 Interestingly enough, in his Anaheim Ducks interview no one asked him about his pick-em-pool performance NOT EVEN ONCE 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️ I guess there's no real sports fans in Anaheim, what a shame 😔

JANIE - 9 POINTS

Janie AKA Juliette's agent inches up another place this week 🧗‍♀️ All this work getting Juliette signed has really turned her in to quite the athlete's representative 🕶🕶🕶 Last week she got me signed to a sweet deal to be sponsored by Dr. Sniffer's Medical Strength Deodorant... was she trying to tell me something? 👃👃👃

LISA - 9 POINTS

The 9 point score does not faze Lisa 🧘‍♀️🧘‍♂️🧘‍♀️ Mediating away in the wonderfully bucolic countryside of Arizona as she is. She's learning to take in the simple pleasures there 😊 A beautiful sunset. A warm cup of tea. The sound of an annoying patient collapsing into a deep sleep after you syringe their ungrateful ass with enough anesthesia to tranquilize a polar bear. A blooming flower. A rainbow. 🌈🌈🌈

RUSTY - 8 POINTS

Alllll season our boy Rusty has been just a point or two behind each week 📏📏📏 BUT don't give up hope yet 🙏 He can still win this thing. If he just gets a perfect score for the remaining seven weeks, his opponent forget to submit their picks, and the New York Jets actually decide to win a game, THEN he has an approximately 6.8% chance of victory ✊ I can smell the celebratory steaks already 🥩

VAL - 8 POINTS

Val got 8 points this week. We need to talk more often, I don't know what's going on in your life? Did you move? Join a cult? Baked a nice apple pie? Drawing a blank here 🤔🤔🤔 The last I heard about Val she was failing to win a break maker? 🎫🎫🎫

JULIETTE - 6 POINTS

Oh no honey boo boo ju ju 😞😞😞 the beginning of the season was so "Welcome to New York" but now it's giving "Bad Blood" 🎤🎤 (Writing that sentence made me feel like I'm 87 years old) Will swimming's most 🔥🔥🔥 recruit be able to turn it around and win or is that just in her "Wildest Dreams"??? ☁☁☁

Well Ladies and Gentlemen the clock is officially TICKING ⏰ Hundreds of dollars are at stake here, who has what it takes to claim the top prize??? 🤴👸 WE'LL SEE YOU ALL NEXT WEEK

[hard-core-super-star]

It's okay, by now you probably know that I don't mind that and that taking your own time is more important, so you don't need to apologize for these things, I hope you're better now tho. I mean, totally, but if you look at the essays we write, we reply quite quickly. it probably was, but yes, at that moment I was already sleeping peacefully lmao. It's funny to see me admitting that you're right? 🤨 wHaTt?? kdhwkkwka is this chance in the room with us???? I don't know how I could expand on this- 😶

OH??? so you first call the characters from legends of tomorrow (I already forgot their names) irrelevant and now you say that my party theme is boring???? I don't know if you should be invited after that words actually 🤨 OKAY KSHSJWAK I woke up being attacked today, I see. well, as I said “less” I will still continue to be at least 0.00001% a brat. stfu asgwjwk it was not convincing! I mean, you can watch movies on this app... with more than one person... and since you were thinking about watching the amazing spider-man and it's been a while since I watched it this idea appeared in my mind so- 😶 oh yeah? Is it a win for me that I'm seeing? (saying caso cerrado and caso encerrado seems to have more emotion, I should have written that). both, lmao. I can't say, it's literally a state secret. we should make a duo 🤔

I thought you said you weren't an analyst??? you're welcome, it took me a few minutes staring at the wall and reflecting on life before and after I wrote this. yeah, but still!! i- heiwkjekq WELL, I guess I have no option but to leave this aside for now- you are (sometimes), but you won't see me complaining 👀 yup, that's not why my mind stops working on these messages, which gives yet another reason for the delay in replying.

sorry but I didn't laugh at that at all, I was completely serious. I won't say I was as confused as you reading this again and I admire that you have understood my sleepy messages so far. well, if this new follower has miles' pfp and a totally not sus name... it's not me. and I'm definitely not interested in you giving me your Instagram. I'm not quite sure of what you didn't double-checked 😶 I'm not excited either and I'm not laughing at the fact that it's been a day or two (I think) since this idea came up and we still haven't managed to make it happen kwhsjak

lmao, yes 😭😭 should I tell you if this happens?

that's why synonyms are sometimes our greatest allies on this journey 🙏 HEY! you made them so dirty but I bet even they couldn't stand grammar. now, if you told me that a person who likes grammar runs over old people on the street, I would completely agree. you just try to avoid grammar at all costs, don't you? lmao. You can trust my word, as I like to say: só confia, tá comigo tá, com deus. I don't know?? but it was literally as clear as day what you meant, I don't know why you thought it didn't make sense ksshjskajwjk also, my teacher used to say the same thing to me about the places she traveled. oh jshsjakakk the hole is deeper then- I recommend 😶 you brought up a good question because it's something I like to think about sometimes. soooo.... yes? in my humble and pure opinion, she has ADHD (Robin having ADHD is also a hc, and as I see them as practically the same person but in different fonts this plays a role in me thinking about it for kate too). you just dropped the greatest act of love in the entire world- it's literally impossible for any human being to hide a +4 to let the other person get revenge, that's cute 😔 not the feigning shock jahskaaksjk kate would notice it?

– 🌟

remember a while ago when you said you were fighting the urge to apologize for apologizing? that's me rn. starting to realize my tendency to overexplain myself comes from the awful friend choices i've made in the past but that's another topic. that's a good point, once again, we've proven that we are in fact incredibly fast when it comes to writing these essays. i don't know what we're going to do with this information but i'm glad we have it now. yes, although i think entertaining is a better word. adflhgadsgkl it's long gone by now but it stuck around as long as it could. ...fine, we can let it go for now unless there's something more you'd like to say 👀

OH MY GOD, when are you going to let that go??? i already apologized like three times, smh. i would say i didn't mean it like that but no, i did mean it. i just couldn't figure out what kind of decorations a party with a theme like that would have, maybe if i was invited i could help you figure it out but fine 😑 does it really count as being attacked if i'm completely right? i would be upset about that if i didn't find your brattiness endearing. damn, that sucks, i tried my best to make it convincing as possible for you. i can't believe you still found a way to leave your sentence unfinished, smh. i'm definitely not saying your idea intrigues me but i'm certainly thinking about it. i think this win is half-and-half but whatever floats your boat, darling. look at you finally answering a question, good job, i'll take it as a compliment. i agree, we'd be very successful 'cause we're hilarious. [we can even ask the audience, i'm sure at least one person will agree with us]

again, i'm an overthinker, not an analyst but if you say so 🤷 well, i'm glad your reflections didn't make you delete it because i loved reading it. but still what??? you just don't want to let me win, huh? look at that, i won again, i'm starting to feel a little bad but then again, you make it very easy. well, as long as you're not complaining, i guess i have no choice but to keep being as obvious as possible. just so that you don't get confused, of course, no other reason. yeah, definitely not. i also won't admit that you've had the same effect on me more than once 😶

i don't know why but i'm having a hard time believing that 🤨 i won't say i'm glad to hear you admit it because i certainly wasn't worried that i was being dumb. well, i certainly didn't forget to follow this person back last night which means i certainly didn't just follow them back right now. well since you're not interested, i won't give you another math problem to find me. take the 11th letter of the alphabet, add a . and then add my nickname. [if anyone else is doing this to stalk me, you're legally obligated to like my two most recent pictures, i don't make the rules 🤷] well, i won't say that i haven't given you all my cards and now it's not up to you how to proceed. you certainly don't have both my tktk and my insta and i'm not waiting for a message from you at all.

definitely lmao

i agree, they also help make things less repetitive. sdghjsjh yeah, yeah, okay, i like your version better. listen, i know grammar exist for a reason but i would prefer it if it stayed away from my long and pretty sentences. i'm very proud to say that i think i understood that and i DIDN'T have to use google translate for it. [but please don't test my understanding because i will probably end up looking stupid] i'm still convinced you have some sort of superpower because you understand basically all of my incoherent sentences. i don't even understand what i mean most of the time lmao. it certainly is and it's never-ending lmao. i'll think about it 🤘 i think so too, tbh. she's like a heavy mix of ADHD and anxiety in my book. which is why a lot of her "quirks" in my fics are really just subtle signs of anxiety or hyperactivity. are they cute? yes. should we be a little worried about her? also yes. and yes, well, yelena isn't just any human. she has to go above and beyond while also being sneaky af because if she's not, kate will not let it go lmao. honestly, i think kate would 100% notice but she'd be far too excited to question yelena about it...which would probably lead to yelena actually becoming interested in the conversation.

[earthtoharlow]

AN: while I enjoy making Jack a dickhead, here's Jack being a lover boy 🤭

obviously this is befere he started acting like Tristan Thompson

SERIES MASTERLIST

PREVIOUS

YOURINSTA

liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, champagnepapi, thatgirlstacey, summerwalker, SZA, chloebailey, and 756,045 others

yourinsta: when you ask your man to take BTS content of you…@jackharlow

view all 5,678 comments

user: everyone say thank you Jack Harlow

jackharlow: is this not bts content???

yourinsta: 🙄

user: well

user: god damn

user: I want you bad

dojacat: I’m asking for your hand in marriage

urbanwyatt: this is why you should’ve asked me to come!! 😠

yourinsta: you were busy 😔

user: are we supposed to be mad?

user: I’m looking disrespectful

druski: Jack don’t know what to do with all that!

JACKHARLOW

liked by yourinsta, saweetie, lilnasx, thatgirlstacey, urbanwyatt, cozane, neelamthadhani and 897,456 others

jackharlow: fuck first class, we fly private ✈️

view all 9,457 comments

thatgirlstacey: GOALS

user: I want what y’all have

user: how is she so flexible

yourinsta: Mile high 🤭

urbanwyatt: can y’all not do this while I’m with y’all

jackharlow: to be fair we thought you were sleep

user: they’re really the best celebrity couple fr

user: poor urban 🤣

Saweetie : only the best for my sis 🥹

user: I need you to ruin my life

druski: Jack are you sharing?

lilnasx: I’ll answer for him, NO!

druski: man mind your business

YOURINSTA

liked by jackharlow, tmz, djdrama, joejonss, SZA, dojacat, cozane, urbanwyatt and 996,466 others

yourinsta: appreciation post for my favorite white boy. We just got off the phone, and all I could think about was how much I love you. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted and more! Our love is capable of moving mountains. Come home, I miss you! (Fuck them kids) @jackharlow

view all 9,467 comments

user: I’m not crying you are

urbanwyatt: ok damn you even got me tearing up 🥲

user: no longer praying on y’all downfall, I love y’all 🥹

user: damn scoot over I wanna join y’all relationship

cozane: fuck get a room!!

neelamthadhani: I’m bringing him home to you I promise 🥲

user: mom and dad!!

user: best celebrity couple

user: idk who I’m more jealous of

jackharlow: babygirl, there’s nowhere I’d rather be right now than cuddle up next to you while you put your cold ass feet on me! The love you’ve given me has made me the best version of myself. You are a dream come true. Be home soon, two more sleeps.

Jack Harlow added to their story!

YOURINSTA

liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, saweetie, cardib, Mariahthescientist, djdrama, yungbbq, normani, and 995,381 others

yourinsta: daddy’s home and this pussy just put him to sleep 🤭

view all 24,086 comments

yourinsta: no one better call his phone for the next couple days, no he can’t hang out 🙄

urbanwyatt: you can not hold him hostage

yourinsta: watch me!

user: let me try!!

user: this is crazy

user: best pussy management in the biz

user: ok but you’re so gorgeous!

saweetie: I know that’s right girl!

latto777: my girl !!

druski: oh so that’s why he ain’t answer the phone

user: girl make that man put on a bonnet!

Tag List:

(message me if you'd like to be added)

@heavyhitterheaux @hoodharlow @neon-lights-and-glitter @babiefries @toocriticalharlow @macey234 @jackmans-poison @dstark-0706 @harlowsbby @itsyagirljaz @leftapricotprofessorlover @laylasbunbunny @ilyangelsxo

NEXT PART

[hopelessromantic-ghost]

whew

today has been a little rough lads