#((i'm wheezing these are too cute and wonderful))

[yardsards]

feeling giddy remembering that i'll get to go on hrt someday

[phantomrose96]

Okay I have a story.

So my birthday is this Sunday (May 26th). My mom ordered some presents for me but one of them (an Etsy purchase) was seemingly stuck in transit and might not make it on time. I tell my mom all good, no worries. She gets in contact with the seller. After a long delay in response they get back with "Right we'll fix it!" It ships, tracking label and everything, good to go! ETA May 22nd (yesterday.)

During the work day I check the tracking and it says it's been delivered in/at mailbox! I double check with my mom "hey, is it mailbox size?" because if not, I don't want it sitting at the front door where anyone walking by could snag it.

She says "it's definitely NOT mailbox size." Okay. I text my neighbors in the building "Anyone seen a package delivered? It's a birthday gift from my mom and I wanna make sure it gets inside!" Success! Floor 2 David (not to be confused with Floor 1 David) had brought it inside. Inform my mom. All good!

I stop by home briefly around 4pm, because yesterday was hot-hot and I just installed my window A/C that morning in the living room, and according to my cat cam my stupid cat hasn't spent a single second in the climate controlled living room and is, instead, voluntarily baking herself elsewhere so I'm like "great" and hop on my bike to go home (10 minute ride) to check on her.

I get in the building door. Patches is crying from the top floor because she heard me. I maneuver my bike in the front hall. The ugliest fucking 6-foot-tall cat tree(?)/totem(?)/statue(?) I've seen in my entire life is just. Standing there.

My first thought is "What the fuck is that." My second thought is "Oh fuck that is for me." I look around at the floor in case there's perhaps anything else that might, in fact, be the gift.

No. Me and Cat Pole.

It's taller than me. I turn it around to face me and its face is painted and this is, in fact, uglier than it looked from the back.

Um.

Patches is crying. So I just haul it up to my level. MAYBE it was supposed to come with twine that I wrap around it (and hide its face from the world) for Patches to scratch. Maybe this is a prank. Maybe this is an inside joke, because when my mom moved into her current house the neighborhood gifted her some ugly-as-hell totem that apparently, by tradition, each newest-comer to the neighborhood is required to have and display in their window so maybe this is a very good riff on that.

Patches rubs against it. She's not afraid of this horrid facsimile of her kind.

Great.

Meanwhile SHE'S fine and the condo is a little toasty but totally liveable so I'm like "Good, cool, you're not baking. You're having a good time. Enjoy your new sister, I guess, I'll see you later."

I go back to work because this is a problem for later me.

After work, after my run, after whatever, I get home and it's like 8:00pm and Patches is so happy to see me and the totem pole is still just. There.

I text my friends like "so a bday gift is here from my mom and it's the Biggest Ugliest cat pole I've seen in my life. Is this a bit? Did my mom go 'that's so ugly haha! send!' Maybe she genuinely found it cute. How do I navigate this." My friend Sarah has the good advice to maybe text my mom neutrally like "Got the cat pole!" and feel the waters whether my mom is like "Isn't it ugly? 😂" or "Hope Patches likes it! 🥰"

My mom goes to bed early so I don't do any of that yet. Problem for tomorrow me.

This morning, Patches wakes me up for breakfast. I get her situated and I'm staring at the fucking Cat Pole again. I wonder if my Mom's been wondering all night what I thought of it.

I take a picture. I text her.

Okay.

I get on call with my mom. I ask for clarity that the ungodly horrid thing is NOT my birthday gift and is in fact a mix-up from the seller who sent me this instead of my actual gift. She's wheezing between words. She thinks I'm being too charitable for the amount of Absolute Fucking Ugly this is. I have to gently talk her out of using the word "monstrosity" while messaging the seller asking what the hell happened here.

I tell her I need to apologize for harming her dignity with Floor 2 David, who thinks this fucking thing is my mom's idea of a great birthday gift for her to-be-28-year-old daughter.

My heart goes out to the poor soul who did actually order this cat totem and is lacking it on this lovely day.

[moraxsthrone]

Um, hello. I'm a little nervous to make this request, so please forgive me if I messed up.

May I request headcanons of Kaeya, Diluc, Itto, Thoma and Zhongli 's girlfriend bringing them homemade lunch while their working and when asked who she's looking for, she happily says "My handsome husband, the one and only (boy's name), of course!" while the boys are within earshot?

I just wanna see these boys acting lovestruck and blushy

//peeks out from the hole of chaos that is my life.

omg nonnie, i'm so sorry it's taken me so long to answer this. i wonder if you'll even see it. 🥺 if anyone did anything wrong here, it's me.

— how he reacts when you bring him homemade lunch at work

— pairings — diluc, itto, kaeya, thoma, zhongli, and (bonus) tighnari x f!reader

— notes — sfw. fluff. diluc's is a drabble //help. his just came to me so vividly. the rest are headcanons, as requested.

— diluc —

your wine tycoon husband is fetching a couple of barrels from the storage area in the back of angel’s share when he hears your voice. he wonders why you’re here so early in the afternoon (you’re not kaeya after all), but a small smile still manages to grace his face as charles asks if he can get you a drink. diluc is just about to round the corner when he hears you answer cheerily, “no, thank you. i’m just here to bring lunch to my handsome husband, diluc! i made him his favorite and even threw in some grape juice from the winery!” the tavern owner stops dead in his tracks, his heart skipping a million beats. it’s adorable, really. not only is he easily flustered, but his fair skin is so quick to show even the slightest color. he knows he’s flushed a bright red from his neck to his ears. he’s too embarrassed to let his employee see him like this so he panics and this grown ass man HIDES BEHIND A FUCKING WINE BARREL!

he can almost hear the shit-eating grin on charles’s face when he points towards the back and tells you where you can find your “handsome husband, diluc”. he should dock his pay for that. now what does he do? just as you clear the bar area, you see the top of a crimson ponytail behind a barrel in the dim corridor. “diluc? is that you, baby?” the jig is up; there’s no point trying to hide anymore so he stands up slowly. “why were you crouched behind that wine barrel?” you press, and he clears his throat. “i was…uhhh…i dropped…something,” he stammers, doing his best to preserve his signature stoicism. but as you get closer you see the deep red blush that rivals the natural color of his hair. “wait…are you blushing?” “no.” “you’re blushing!” laughing, you start to touch his face, but he quickly covers it with both his hands, muffling his voice when he groans, “why must you always tease me like this?” “because you’re so cute when you blush,” you say, still giggling while trying to pry his hands away. he can hear charles wheezing behind the bar. “stop! go away, woman! you’re making it worse!”

— itto — 

who are we kidding? itto doesn’t work.

but let’s assume he’s doing an odd job and one of his gang members spots you as you’re approaching (not knowing you're his boss's wife) and tells you it’s too dangerous to pass through the area.

itto is out of eyeshot, but your voice is music to his ears when he hears you refer to him as your husband. 

“yeah! i made him his favorite and brought enough for everyone!”

his face lights up with a big, stupid grin bc that is easily one of the nicest things anyone has done for his gang.

just as akira is taking some of the bags you’ve been carrying by yourself, your big oni husband rounds the corner and is headed right for you with his pink-dusted cheeks.

picks you up into a hug and gives you a big, long, close-lipped kiss with unshed tears wetting his eyelashes.

when shinobu ribs him for crying, he denies it.

“i- i’m not crying, shinobu! my uhh…my allergies are acting up again!”

— kaeya — 

it means the whole fucking world to him?

he never thought he’d have someone in his life who would go out of their way to bring him lunch that THEY MADE JUST FOR HIM. 

he may not seem like it, but kaeya loooooves being domestic with you.

he smirks and teases you when you fuss over him, but he EATS THAT SHIT UP.

please do little things like this for him? it makes him feel so cared for, something he feels like he’s missed out on for most of his life.

ever the romantic, the captain sweeps you up into his arms bridal-style, making you squeal and laugh right in front of all his subordinates. 

kaeya makes YOU blush, not the other way around, okay?

— thoma — 

he’s usually the one waiting on others hand and foot so when you do something so domestic and thoughtful for him, his pretty green eyes positively SPARKLE. 

the brightest smile spreads across his face along with the swath of pink that stretches from one cheek to the other.

immediately wants to make something for you too. 

he insists! 

so you sit and watch him whip something up for you in the kamisato kitchen, your chin resting in your palms wondering how you got so lucky to marry the sweetest man in all of teyvat.

he packs both your lunches and leads you outside and finds the prettiest sakura tree to sit beneath while you enjoy your meals together. 

— zhongli — 

he’s touched, but it takes a lot more than bringing him food or referring to him as your husband to fluster the former archon.

if anything, he barely suppresses a smirk - satisfied with the pride in your voice when you call him “husband”.

he stands from his desk and steps out of his office to greet you in the funeral parlor’s lobby, shoulders back and head held high because he’s quietly proud of you too.

“my darling love…” he starts, seeing the delicious meal that he could smell from his office. “you truly shouldn’t have…”

“but i wanted to,” you say shyly as he leans in to leave a quick peck on your cheek.

“will you be joining me?” he asks, hopeful.

“oh, this is just for you, dear. i didn’t bring any for myself. i thought you might be too busy...”

“then i’ll share with you, my love,” he insists, offering you his arm, which you take with a smile and let him lead you back to his office.

— tighnari (bonus) — 

a handful of forest rangers are standing on the dock near tighnari’s hut when you flash them a quick smile before heading past them towards your husband’s office.

one of them stops you. “ma’am, you can’t just walk into the chief officer’s-”

you laugh sweetly and wave him off. “i can do a lot more than you think i can…”

it is at that moment that the rangers stiffen as their officer steps out with a stern expression on his face.

his multi-colored eyes are fixed and serious, but as a rosy heat rises to his pale cheeks you swear you hear a snicker from his group of subordinates.

you walk up to where tighnari is holding one of the giant leaf flaps open in the doorway and give him a quick little peck on the cheek.

that sends the angry blush all the way to the insides of his perked ears.

he dismisses the rangers as you walk past him and into his office like it’s your second home.

his watchful eyes follow his rangers as they disperse before he lowers the leaf flap to join you within.

he sniffs at the air. “wait. did you…?”

you simply nod with a pleased smile as you set the frond-wrapped box down on his desk. you’d made his favorite: forest watcher’s choice, rife with various (non-poisonous) mushrooms that you know he finds most delicious.

nari rounds his desk to join you and puts a gloved hand on the small of your back as he leans in and kisses your temple, ear twitching and tail wisping behind him.

“thank you, love. you’re too good to me,” he muses.

[stars-and-the-min]

☆ the wrong way to hard launch (5) | OP81

summary : oscar's girlfriend is a walking pr problem for literally everyone (including herself) social media au

pairing : oscar piastri x zhou!fem!singer!oc

a/n formula 1's 'newest' WAG makes her race debut and gives her cousin a headache

i did actually screech like a parrot watching this race and then immediately adjusted some of my predictive writings

masterlist | last part | part 5 | next part

TWITTER

F1 WAGS @f1wagnews · 3h Selina Bui spotted around the paddock!

pookie piastri @op81ln4 · 2h the royal couple of australia (i don't make the rules 🤷‍♀️)

↳ kayla @luna_apocolypse · 2h why... did she wear blue...? she knows basic color theory... right??? ↳ pookie piastri @op81ln4 · 2h i completely missed that... SILENA??? ↳ kayla @luna_apocolypse · 2h HER ASS IS NOT ENDING UP IN THE PAPAYA GARAGE IN THAT DRESS ���� SHE'S NOT THAT DUMB IS SHE???

MANIFESTED OSCALINA | LONDON N3 @12m0red4ys · 26m SCREECHING RN we used to dream of these days

↳ lina bui x2 grammy winner @urdaisea · 25m '2-time grammy award winner' HELL YEAH SHE IS ↳ MANIFESTED OSCALINA | LONDON N3 @12m0red4ys · 26m the most employed wag in formula 1 🫶 (lily is a close 2nd)

oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 13m HELP HAS ANYONE ELSE SEEN THAT CLIP OF LINA AND THE CHINESE INTERVIEWER 😭 ↳ oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 13m [translation] interviewer: this is your cousin's 3rd f1 season, how come you've never come support him? lina: he said he doesn't like my nagging interviewer: then will you be supporting zhou guanyu in shanghai? his home race could use some family support lina: even if he asked me to visit, there's nothing i can do, i'm in shenzhen performing a sold-out concert ↳ clovie @ luvyouvie · 7m she's so done lmao what can she do if zhou doesn't want her there ↳ emme @flowersforcami · 5m lina: i'm fucking busy too, have you considered that??

INSTAGRAM

selinabui just posted to their story

(translation: Brother Yu [Zhou Guanyu], come and save me)

TWITTER

rubyyy @piastriworld · 2h oh wait shit she's cute as fuck what ↳ rubyyy @piastriworld · 2h fyi this is abt lina bui ↳ rubyyy @piastriworld · 2h i was kinda expecting a full-on rockstar but she's super soft???

piaa⁸¹ @ papayaeightyone · 1h the same woman not even 12hrs later

clara @ zgy24 · 37m i do actually think it's insane we got an 'oscar piastri's partner' graphic before we got a 'zhou guanyu's cousin' graphic ↳ clara @ zgy24 · 37m selina dear, we know you can't stand him but we're sure he'd appreciate it if you popped by the kick garage on your way over 🫶 ↳ lina !!! @EB_selina · 17m you sound like my mother but i'll have you know he sent me this:

很油腻 directly translates to 'very greasy' but it basically means 'ew' or 'cringe'

↳ clara @ zgy24 · 15m LMAO OH MY BAD ↳ xixi²⁴ ⁴⁴ @grandegrid · 14m the sheer amount of info you get from these two ss 😭 like ofc they use wechat, zhou guanyu sounds like an annoying older brother, she calls him 鱼哥, she trolls the emperor nickname, THE PURE SIBLING DYNAMIC IS EVERYTHING ↳ ZG24 future WDC · @zhoupdates · 14m zhou cousins crumbs 💚

lina !!! @EB_selina · 29m mistakes were made, the blue dress and orange-- sorry, PAPAYA headphones are not a look 💀 ↳ lina !!! @EB_selina · 28m wonder if it's too late to sneak into the sauber garage... ↳ pookie piastri @op81ln4 · 12m i'm actually wheezing at this bc that's EXACTLY what my oomf said when ur pics first dropped ↳ lina !!! @EB_selina · 10m well i wish ur oomf gave me a heads-up before i left the hotel

INSTAGRAM

selinabui

liked by zhouguanyu24 and 112,385 others

selinabui went on a tour around the paddock (finally visited the man racing with my number 🫶) tagged: zhouguanyu24 and logansargeant

pi4str1 babygirl, i think you wandered the wrong way

pastry81 oscar's girlfriend meeting oscar's boyfriend

zhouguanyu24 我给了你一个愿望 trans: i gave you one job/i had one wish ↳ selinabui @ zhouguanyu24 你是不是我的亲表哥！ trans: are you even my cousin!

logansargeant This feels like an achievement ↳ selinabui @ logansargeant it is, stay slaying cap, so glad to see you race today 🫶

no2argeant logan getting a double feature over her cousin mhm those are mutuals via oscar frfr (loscar and oscalina and... lolina?) ↳ selinabui @no2argeant we use selogan but lolina is 100x cuter

TWITTER

piaa⁸¹ @papayaeightyone · 3h HELP SHE ACTUALLY SNUCK INTO THE SAUBER GARAGE

xixi²⁴ ⁴⁴ @grandegrid · 2h both cousins are equally unserious bc why did i remember the 'who's the most famous person in ur contacts' thing kick sauber did and why did zhou say jj lin when his very famous GRAMMY WINNING cousin seems to regularly bug him on the daily ↳ pookie piastri @op81ln4 · 2h he probably forgot lmao it's like she's not famous in his eyes "oh lina? u mean my annoying little cousin? oh right, she's a rockstar or smth"

oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 2h ok i'm convinced she's gonna stay in the williams garage now like it's almost guaranteed she's not headed back to mclaren ↳ oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 2h oscar, honey, come over and remove ur girlfriend from the williams garage, she's yapping with logan ↳ oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 8m I JUST SAW LINA'S POST 💀💀 y'know she's right, lolina is cuter than selogan but now i need to know how much logan's been 3rd wheeling

kayla @luna_apocolypse · 16m oscar checking his socials and it's his fans debating on the best ship name for his girlfriend and bestie

MESSAGES

from the phone of selina bui

TWITTER

oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 1h realising that lina being at the race means we're probably not gonna get her entertaining af f1 live-tweets

↳ oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 1h no joke, we missed out on aus gp live-tweets bc she was flying to jakarta but the saudi gp tweets gave me LIFE

INSTAGRAM/MESSAGES

from the phone of logan sargeant

TWITTER

oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 39m red flag??? already??? we just started??? ↳ oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 34m they cut to lina in the mclaren garage and i'm wheezing she looks so amused by the turn of events 😭

jess @OPIXSTRI · 3m oh they knew what they were doing cutting to selina bui after zhou guanyu retired ↳ jess @OPIXSTRI · 3m new f1 reaction pic just dropped guys, perfectly summarises the kick sauber saga

↳ kayla @luna_apocolypse · 2m obsessed with her refusal to wear the orange headphones genuinely think she would rather go deaf than have those pictures circulate the internet

xixi²⁴ ⁴⁴ @grandegrid · 5m we got the zhou guanyu's cousin graphic but at what cost

↳ Stake F1 Team KICK Sauber @stakef1team_ks · 18m We're sorry to let you down 😔 ↳ lina !!! @EB_selina · 17m i don't care which long-suffering intern this is. get out. ↳ oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 20m lmao lina's sauber pit stop tweets vs oscar's f3 drs tweets, fight 🤣

INSTAGRAM

selinabui Suzuka, Japan

liked by eb_jonno and 200,371 others

selinabui loved the experience, will not be going to another one bc i'm 94% sure i jinxed EVERYONE i hold dear in this sport - stay safe out there 👍 see y'all in seoul in 2-3 business days <3 tagged: mclaren and oscarpiastri

logansargeant You did *not* jinx anyone ↳ selinabui @ logansargeant logan, honey, i'm a bit depressed about you but sure man, whatever you say :'(

ninisf1diary how'd you find your first ever live race? ↳ selinabui @ninisf1diary very fun, loved the bit where oscar got to hop back into the garage after the first lap

mclaren Are we still gonna see you in Imola 🥺 ↳ selinabui @ mclaren i think oscar is gonna drag me over kicking and screaming but i guess i'll be there

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

taglist @ririyulife @ashy-kit @fionaschicken @namgification

[mysteryshoptls]

R Cater Diamond - P.E. Uniform Vignette

"You traitor!"

[Sports Field]

[tup, tup, tup]

Cater: Maaan, this is the worst～ Why'd we gotta run 10 laps around the campus?

Trey: Well, we don't really have a choice, do we? It's P.E. class.

Trey: Besides, we're already halfway done. Come on, Cater. Let's go, just 5 more laps.

Cater: You say already halfway, I say only! This sucks, it's no fun at all, and I smell terrible… It's nothing but the pits!

Trey: Okay, then I'm heading on ahead.

Cater: Nooo! Weren't we gonna run together all the way to the goal?

Trey: It's not like number of laps will decrease just by complaining about it, right? So I just want to get it over with as quick as possible. See ya!

Cater: Trey-kun, you traitor～～～!!

[tup, tup, tup]

Cater: He seriously left me behind. I bet he's the type to try to finish all his homework on the first day of the holidays, too.

Cater: I'm only 18 once, y'know. I wanna just whiz by all the lame stuff without dealing with 'em.

Cater: How can I… Oh yeah! I can totally do that thing. Now, that's great idea that only I can pull off!

Cater: I only have 5 laps left… So that basically means I just need to cross the finish line 5 more times.

Cater: Sooo～

Cater: If I use my unique magic to create a buncha copies, it'll be easy peasy lemon squeezy!

Cater: Doesn't look like Vargas-sensei's paying any attention right now, either. Okay then, here we go!

Cater: I am him and he is another.

Cater: Split Card!

[poof! poof! poof! poof!]

CaterB: Hey, me, great idea ♪

CaterC: Wonderful plan, me ♪

CaterD: You're so smart, me ♪

CaterE: Hey, me, good job ♪

Cater: Thanks, everyone. So now, I'm gonna ask you all to each jog a single lap!

Cater: What'll that mean for us? Basically, we'll be able to finish running the 5 laps around the campus grounds lickety-split!

CaterB: Got it! Then, I'll go first!

Caters: See ya～♪

[tup, tup, tup]

Cater: Good luck, me number one～ First one's at the goal! Now there's 4 left.

CaterC: Time for number two to head out!

[tup, tup, tup]

Cater: Good, it's going great. Even if it's hard for one person to run 5 laps, running them with 5 people is cake.

Cater: Alright, let's keep this up and knock the last three laps out!

CaterD/CaterE: Yeah!

Cater: That's the fourth me at the goal! Now it's just up to the real me to do the last lap. Here I g…

Riddle: You seem to be in a good mood, Cater. I thought you hated P.E.?

Cater: !! …Riddle-kun!? We're in different grades, why are you here on the sports field?

Riddle: Class 2-E has flight classes today. I was watching you from the sky.

Cater: Is that right… I woulda loved to get a snap of you flyin' the heck out of those brooms and throw it up on Magicam～ ...Haha…

Riddle: I'm not here to talk about me. I'm more curious to ask why I saw five of you on the campus grounds?

Cater: Urk!! Uh, you know, that's just… an optical illusion. You were just flying so fast that you must've been seeing things.

Riddle: …Really, now?

Cater: You're really amazing when you're zooming around. Plus, you just look cute overall, so you're like a butterfly!

Trey: Give it up, Cater. There's no way you'll be able to pull one over on Riddle.

Cater: Urk, Trey-kun…!

Riddle: Using your unique magic during class is against the school rules. I would have never expected to see a Heartslabyul student to do such a thing.

Riddle: I shall be reporting this to Vargas-sensei.

Cater: Wait, anything but that…!

Riddle: You're very fortunate, Cater.

Riddle: If it had been one of our dorm rules you had broken, it would have been off with your head without hesitation.

Cater: [huff… gasp… wheeze…]

Cater: Goal! I can't believe I had to run all ten laps all over again as punishment for trying to skirt it. That was way overboard!!

Trey: Here's a towel. Well done, you did it. Although, it kinda was all your fault in the first place.

Cater: Ah, you traitor! Aren't we supposed to be buds!?

Trey: That's why I did what I did. If you lied to Riddle, you would've been in worse trouble later on.

Trey: Besides, I'm the Vice Housewarden. That makes me the Housewarden's strongest ally.

Cater: See, you totally betrayed me… Ugh, I'm gonna transfer dorms!!

Requested by @farfalla049.

[dancingdonatello]

Hiya can I get a one-shot of 2018 f!turtles separately finding out they have a daughter with their crush? Like how would they react? Like the girl comes to the present time and they look like their respective dads and also have a hidden similarity to their "mother figure". (I hope I'm using the right gn term for it, if not I apologize I'm unfamiliar with the terms.)

Thank you

rottmnt x gn reader

When Casey introduced the new turtle to Raph and his brothers, Raph didn’t really have an opinion. That was up until Casey revealed that it was his daughter. When he asked who was their other parent or did he raise them with anyone, Casey just smiled awkwardly.

Maybe Raph didn’t know them yet.

His daughter swayed back and forth nervously, asking Casey if she really wasn’t allowed to say who in fear of breaking time rules or whatever. And that’s when it clicked for Raph.

His crush, who he may or may not have been keeping away from his family so that he could spend the most time with them, did that too. Whenever they were nervous, they swayed.

It had been a week and Leo had finally decided to believe that this young turtle was his daughter in the future. She shared a lot of traits with him, not just the red stripes along his eyes. She had a good sense of humor (it had his brothers groaning), she liked comics, she liked basketball, she cracked her knuckles like he did, and she even knew some spanish.

There was one thing different though. She had a totally different laugh them him. But it sounded so familiar to him that it always caught him off guard. He listened to his family’s laughter, wondering if she picked it up from one of them. But no, it didn’t sound similar enough.

It wasn’t until he was horribly flirting with you and that you ended up laughing at one of his fails when he realized that his daughter’s laugh matched yours. Perfectly matched. He didn’t know what relieved him more, that he kept you laughing in the future or that you were able to put up with him long enough to raise a kid with him.

Donnie didn’t really think he ever wanted to be a father. But when a turtle younger with a soft shell and matching goggles (which he was later told was actually his that she took in the future), he inferred that for some reason he had changed his mind. But he couldn’t figure out what could’ve been enough to convince him.

Mikey demanded a family photo upon seeing the cute turtle. He gathered up everyone, including you and Casey and Draxum.

When Donnie looked at the photo, he noticed both you and his daughter were shyly covering their smiles with a hand in the photo.

That ended up being the first bullet point in his new journal as he began to observe both your traits and his daughter traits. When he reached about 50 shared mannerisms, he finally allowed himself to believe that he had a chance with you. Or at least, future him did.

“You guys didn’t tell me you had a sister!” you complained, rocking on the balls of your feet as you observed this new turtle. She was even shorter than you and Mikey.

She nervously stepped back and mirrored you, rocking on her feet as well.

Mikey blinked and looked back and forth between you two, the cogs and wheels in his brain slowly turning.

And then you both sneezed the same way. And then you both smiled the same way. And then—

Mikey could barely contain himself. He launched over to you and grabbed you, hugging you so tightly you wheezed for air.

[stubz]

"Heya Gylka, watcha got there?" Asked Max, leaning down to eye level of the youngling.

"Heart!" chirped the youngling boy, holding out a handmade heart made of paper and decorated so sweetly and nicely.

"Wow, I really like it! You did an awesome job, your one of the best cutters in class."

"For you."

"Me? I get to keep it?" the youngling nodded. "Aw, thanks bud." the human ruffled the fur of the boy before he ran off back to the craft table.

A minute later he came back this time with small piece paper and a marker. He handed them to the human.

"Draw."

"Draw what?" he asked grabbing the paper and marker

"...a heart!"

"Alright." once drawn he gave it back to the child who ran back to the table. Later he came back with a cut out heart that was even more nicely decorated than the last.

"For you!" the youngling beamed.

.

"Woah what's with all the hearts and circles?" laughed Kim looking at the mountain of paper circles and hearts decorated sweetly.

"Gylka just won't stop making them for me. It's so cute though, he runs up to me with paper, asks me to draw a heart or circle and then cuts it out and decorates it before giving it to me."

"Aww cute!" the human cooed.

They continued to walk to the dorms before Kim stops.

"...Gylka? Gylka was the one who made you all of those?"

"Yeah."

"Did he...do anything while giving it to you?"

"...y'know he did actually. He knelt down on both knees while giving it to me."

"...oh my god this is too cute!" squealed Kim.

"What?! What's too cute?"

"He's proposing to you!"

"...what!" He ran up to her grabbing her shoulders. "What?!!"

"Its...its custom for his species...to-to, oh my stomach hurts." she wheezes.

"Finish the sentence Kim!"

"It's custom for his species to have their future spouse draw or tell how they want to be proposed to. If they can meet and go beyond their expectations then they're officially engaged.

Usually it's an item, the ring if you will, that is drawn for the pursuer. This shows that they will be a very caring and attentive spouse who will put in the time and effort to give you want you want in the relationship. Hearts are for love and the heart of the proposer and circles mean long life."

"...so he has a crush on me?"

"Yes."

"...that is so cute...Kim how am I gonna turn him down?! He's so sweet and adorable!"

"I doubt anything will happen more than this. Just play along."

"Yeah, yeah your right. It's just a kid crush."

..

*4 days later*

"Human Max do you know who is Gylka's promised one?" asked Gylka's mother

"...I'm sorry?"

"His promised one...I believe you humans call it a fiancée?"

"...oh no."

"What is the matter??"

"...what will you do with his...promised one?"

"Simply explain what it means to them and their parents and get in touch for playdates. Let things run its course without any pressure."

"Oh thank you! Okay they're right here. Its me. I'm his 'promised one'"

"...I was wondering who was this 'giant old sunny boy' he was talking about!" she laughs. "I will talk to him."

"Thank you, although I am flattered."

They both laughed.

[jay-m3]

Charlie and Vaggie

This is a male reader insert! Charlie and Vaggie become parents This would be before the pilot, so there isn't any other characters beside them. Hope you like it! I was also wondering if I should make one for the Vees. All three of them handling a toddler is a cute image in my head idk what do you guys think? If so, how should proceed it? Should Velvet be the biological mother or should I do a Baby Daddy on Vox lol

Pilot Part 1 Episode 1

It was time. It was time for the baby to come! And Vaggie was not ready for it but she isn't going to show it because if she does then who's going to calm down Charlie who's running around the empty, trashy hotel for a warm bucket of water that they will need for this specific moment.

Vaggie bites down a pained groan as the contractions start to double the amount and pain.

"Shit." She slowly breathes out. Running a hand through her hair that grew longer over the past months with the pregnancy.

"Ok! I got the water. Now where are my gloves? Are these the clean towels that we recently washed? Omg, did we buy enough diapers!?-" Charlie starts to grip her hair as her horns start to protrude from her head.

"Charlie, babe. We have everything here. We double checked and got more supplies after we thought we'll be in lock down for at least two months. Now, can you calm down and please hold my hand?" Vaggie interrupts Charlie's rambling as it would lead to a panic attack. Usually, Vaggie would calm her down with sweet words and gentle touches but right now, the pain she is feeling can't make her focus on anything but the pain.

"Right! Sorry. How are you doing Vaggie? Need water?" Charlie kneels on the bed, taking a hold of the woman she loves dearly. When they first met, Charlie thought it was love at first sight. They both gave hints such as fleeting touches and lingering eyes until it turned more intimate that they got together. It was magical really.

Until they hit their five months into their relationship, Vaggie started to act differently. Vomiting in the morning, craving weird things (Charlie didn't point out because she loves Vaggie too much to judge her) and sleeping a lot. They both brushed it off until Vaggie mentioned how her stomach is getting bigger. Which also took them a little bit longer to notice but they got there.

Charlie of course told her dad, well not told him per-say but a small comment about how to prepare for a baby and such which her father answered awkwardly and fast paced as she's sure she guessed he didn't want to talk about this kind of stuff to his daughter that he hasn't seen for a few years now. And she's pretty sure he forgot all about it the next phone call he made as he asks for Charlie to check on how many sinners died in the last extermination.

But all in all, Lucifer hasn't connected the dots and now Charlie is here alone, taking care of Vaggie and ready to secure the baby once it's fully out. She is so fucking happy! She's going to make this Happy Hotel a family business! Just the three of them.

"I don't want to alarm but I think the baby is coming out right now." Vaggie huffs out gripping on Charlie's hand with all her might as her body pushes.

"Oh god, ok! Just keep pushing. I have everything ready, sweetheart. You're doing great!" Charlie wheezes out the last bit as her hand gets crushed. Shaking the pain off, Charlie drags a towel over, ready.

It took at least an hour of Vaggie screaming in pain and profanities that finally, Charlie places their child down in Vaggie's arms.

"It's a boy." Charlie whispers excitedly, doing a little happy wiggle as she looks at her girlfriend and son together.

Vaggie smiles tiredly, muttering out a 'Never again.' Which Charlie volunteers to be the next one to get pregnant.

"You know what name I'm thinking?" Vaggie mutters out as she hands the baby boy that has her grey skin but the two red dots on his face along with blonde hair that he got has Charlie written all over it. Charlie snaps out of her awe trance at the baby, looking at Vaggie with a big smile.

"(M/n)." They both said at the same time, leaning on each other as they looked at their son.

[ginevrapng]

Fred and muggle reader have been living in my head rent free 🥲❤️

same! they're the absolute cutest🥺💕

wrote something for you xoxox

fred was slightly anxious when you first entered weasleys' wizard wheezes, he admits at this moment he may have accidentally thrown you into the deep end when you originally said you wanted him to "show me everything," he probably shouldn't have chosen to bring you into the shop when it was open. luckily it was one of those rare days that it wasn't busy but the costumers there could spot that you were a muggle from a mile away. you stare in wonderment at some of the products on the shelf next to fred before whispering to him, "this is so magical freddie."

fred chuckles at your reaction, "that's because it's magic love."

you pout at him and cross your arms, "hush you." fred smirks and he hears you squeal and practically rush over to the over side of the shop where something has caught your eye. "ooo what's this fred?" you point over to the wonderwitch display.

george watches you and brushes against fred and snickers, momentarily stopping, "shoulda brought her here closing, it might be overwhelming and wizardfolk are still shopping around."

fred looks at you with such love in his eyes that george rolls his eyes and makes a mental comment to tease him later about how smitten fred is with you. maybe earlier he would've agreed with him but not now, "nah, she's too cute, this is funnier."

fred goes over to see what you were specifically looking at and peers behind your shoulder. "do these really work fred?" you ask him looking at all the love potions.

"absolutely, best love potions around, these are," he replies proudly.

"are they like what non-wizards think love potions are? or are magic love potions different? are they unethical like non-magic people think about love potions?" you question.

fred suppresses the laugh that threatens to come out of his mouth as he hears that you've clearly forgotten the term 'muggle' even though he's said it plenty of times. "well i don't know what muggles think love potions are but they're potions that make someone fall in love, it's only for about 24 hours."

"can you really do that?" you look at him in awe.

"i'm a wizard love, and a good one at that," he grins at you. "but don't worry you don't need to give me a love potion i'm already head over heels." he wraps his arms around your waist.

[mashpotatoequeen]

babies

Thinking about an AU where the Mysterious Benedict Society gets de-aged. Not for forever, but for a week or two. A world where these kids get to be loved and feel loved in times they maybe never got to, and just how special that would be.

I mean, this is a world where a machine is capable of sweeping away someone's mind and leaving them a stranger in their own heads for years at a time. It's a world with duskwort, which can knock out a village with nary a handful in the campfire smoke. It's not too strange or extravagant to imagine a realm where there's some machine or mechanism that can wipe away someone's years and leave behind someone not yet grown. 

Think about it. Kate- who gets shrunk until she's five or six, who is a vibrant ball of energy and is constantly climbing onto shelves and wriggling into unexpected corners for impromptu games of hide and seek. Reynie and Sticky chase her around the backyard and aren't sure if they should be offended or not that she's fast enough to keep them out of breath and struggling to keep up. Constance looks at her- this insurmountable girl she knows folded into somebody else, someone small, and can't quite figure it out how to interact with her, how to coincide them into the same person. Kate just takes her small pudgy hand in hers and drags her around the garden to look at bugs, laughing, and Constance finds it's not so different after all.

"Kate," Rhonda says, "Please, please come down from the ceiling fan."

Kate, slowly rotating and so happy about it, laughs madly. "Never!" she cries, curling around the big wooden panel and wheezing with joy. 

A little dazed, Number Two murmurs, "How did she manage to bring the ladder to the living room? We store it in the basement!"

Moocho whistles guiltily and walks away.

(I'm thinking of Kate being young, before the burden of being left behind truly settles on her shoulders. Who looks up at Milligan and cries out, "Daddy!" with her whole tiny chest, face planting into his knees and laughing uproariously like it's the funniest thing in the world. I wonder if he cries, this man who lived outside of himself for nearly a decade; a Kate who's five or six is still a Kate he never got to hold.)

(Kate wipes away tears with her pudgy fingers, and tickles him until he laughs.)

If Sticky shrinks, he becomes a little boy who hasn't yet learned the anxieties of the stage lights. He's a little shy, maybe, and quiet. (He was the sort of kid who didn't talk at all for three years and then burst out into full sentences.)  Regardless, he smiles more easily than any iteration of the boy they've ever known. Reynie holds him on his lap and they read books together, page after page after page, and wonders how anyone could make this small version of his friend feel unwanted. Kate carries him on her shoulders and races around the backyard with him clinging to her back like a tiny koala. Constance accidentally makes him cry, too blunt and awkward and unused to holding hands smaller than her own. They still get to be friends, though, after the learning curve. She just makes sure to be more gentle.

Sticky is adorable, by the way. He's iddy biddy and he's got round little cheeks and everyone's piling SO much affection on him. "You're so cute!" Kate enthuses, and cuddles him like a stuffed animal as he flails. 

Constance, watching this, crosses her arms and turns up her nose. "I'm cute," she declares, blustering. Mr. Benedict pats her head, fond, and she grumbles but doesn't pull away.

(I'm thinking of the Washingtons, picking up this version of their kid, and it feels like being deposited into the past. It must hurt to see someone so precious, and know that he'll go through so much, and in so many ways it will be their fault. Sticky curls up between them on their bed that night, and he's little, he's so small, and they hold each other's hands over his tiny head, and they whisper promises to themselves that they're going to be better, that their own Sticky will keep growing up and growing older and he'll always, always know that he's wanted.)

Reynie stumbles into being ungrown, and he's three or maybe four. He's got BIG expressive eyes and he's lived in an orphanage his entire life. Consequently, he hasn't been out much and absolutely nobody is familiar, leading to him spending the first few hours crying and hiding before they finally manage to coax him out with the cat the Perumals had gotten him. (They bought it when they had moved out of Benedicts' and into the house next door, because Number Two is allergic.) The cat gets lugged around by its armpits for the rest of the day, almost as tall as Reynie is, and purrs like a tiny motor boat the whole time. Number Two takes two Benadryl and doesn't complain. 

Kate is pleased to find that Reynie is much more enthusiastic about being thrown into the air or being turned upside down as a toddler than he is as a teenager, and takes full advantage of it the moment they're able to coax him into letting go of Moby Dick the Great White Cat. Sticky follows Reynie around and reads him books and lets him try on his glasses, even though they're too big and fall off his nose. Constance is determined to be his favourite, and piles him with snacks and red faced hugs and plays games with him and indulges his subpar poetry. Reynie's just happy she wants to be friends. He's never really had a friend before.

(Miss Perumal gets reintroduced to her son and it's like an ache reborn in her chest. She never knew her kid this young, was never able to hold him close to her chest and have him nap on her shoulder as she walks up and down the hallway. Reynie, hardly grown and already a little lonely, takes her face in his small hands and whispers, "You picked me?" like it's almost too good to be true. 

"Yes," she whispers back, and presses a kiss to his brow, to his cheek, to his nose. "Oh, yes, lovely one. Always.")

Constance, when she gets de-aged, becomes an infant. She's tiny, only a few pounds, her cheeks still red and ruddy and hair hardly a blonde wisp on her head. Her pinkies aren't longer than a nickel, and her toes no bigger than a bean. Everyone takes turns holding her, and Milligan and the Washingtons have to teach everyone how to support her properly in their inexperienced arms. Constance Contraire, for once, is not contrary at all and sleeps through everything quite soundly. 

She wakes up, occasionally, and they all hold little contests to see who gets to feed her the bottle. Rhonda's wins one and Constance flails until she can hook her fingers around one of her braids and settles again, content. Number Two, who is always awake anyways, holds her when Constance starts wailing at night and has a miniature staring contest with her tiny younger sister, wiping away milk and cooing about homemade onesies.  Everyone tries to avoid diaper duty. Nobody gets out of it.

"I think that Constance would like to climb a tree," Kate says, eyes sparkling, terrifyingly sincere and holding a baby carrier. Milligan manages to dissuade her, barely. 

Sticky, on his turn to hold baby Constance, looks bewildered the whole time. "It's crazy how you're going to grow up and become a whole entire person," he whispers to her when nobody's looking.  Constance throws up on his shoulder. Oddly enough, it soothes him.

At some point she ends up in Reynie's arms and he spends the whole time thinking very hard about how much he loves her, how special and wonderful she is, how lucky he's been to have her as a friend. He's not sure how her big brain works, this small. Maybe she can hear him, can understand it, but if she does she gives no sign. She falls asleep more quickly on his shoulder than anyone else, though, and he's secretly pleased.

Nicholas Benedict, several years away from since he's had to worry about falling asleep upon strong emotion, finds himself quite overcome upon cradling her tiny frame in his arms for the first time. He sits down rather abruptly on the couch, tears springing to his eyes, and smiles down at her guileless eyes. "Hello, my dear," he says, soft and gentle and sure, and presses his lips to her tiny palm. 

(Constance, who is so small as to be all instincts and wonder, feels loved all the way through.)

[materassassino]

The Old Guard Dæmon AU

Probably done before, but I wanted to write one myself, so I thought I'd make a guide to the Guard and their respective dæmons, to go with the fic I just posted for it.

Andy: Hwehnto (Przewalski's horse)

Yeah, a wolf or some other predator might fit, but let's face it, the supreme horse girl should have a horse for a dæmon. *h₂weh₁n̥to- is Proto-Indo-European for "wind", butchered into a modernly comprehensible Hwehnto/Hwento. He is a very serious and stoic dæmon, much like Andy, but his outbursts of emotion are striking. He is vicious in battle and will not hesitate to attack both human and dæmon, if necessary.

I did also consider a tarpan for Andy, but there is literally one photo in existence of one. I generally assume that actually it would be some European wild horse so old it doesn't exist anymore, and we've lost all modern knowledge of it. So Przewalski's horse will do.

Quynh: Minh Nhat (white-lipped pit viper)

Of course our viper would have a viper! Small, quick and venomous. He doesn't have a name yet because, frankly, I don't speak Vietnamese and I want him to have a cool name like most dæmons have. His name is Minh Nhat, which means "bright sunlight", in contrast with Quynh's name. More outgoing than most dæmons, will talk casually with other humans, and is prone to little acts of thievery (thimbles, small nuts, little trinkets), mostly out of delight with the object than any malice. Very tiny! Likes spending his time tucked up Quynh's sleeve. Will not hesitate to bite a human should the need arise, but tucks himself in Quynh's collar or scarf when in battle.

I was torn between this and a red-headed krait, but ultimately went to an actual viper (well, pit viper, close enough).

Joe: Tayyib (scimitar oryx)

(Oddly difficult to find a photo of one alone, with no radio collar, that hasn't been shot by some bastard trophy hunter).

Tayyib (named that way for obvious reasons and chosen by Joe's mother's dæmon) represents everything poetic and artistic about Joe, and is calm and wise. Dislikes fighting, but will if he must: watch out for those horns! Yes, he is a male dæmon, a rarity, another commonality Joe shares with Nicky. I wonder why? A very good listener who gives good advice.

I don't know why I decided on another ungulate for this hapless team (can they even go anywhere?), but I did. I figured a desert antelope of some kind would be good for Joe, and it was a toss-up between this and an addax. I admit I chose it just for the name.

Nicky: Bonamico (Luzon bleeding-heart dove)

Geographically, it doesn't make sense. Symbolically? I had to. Bonamico is quiet, contemplative and kind, barely speaks except to Nicky, Joe or Tayyib, but is always concerned for those about him. He is far more nervous than Nicky, but stores a lot of knowledge, a trait he does share with Nicky. His favourite place to perch, other than Nicky's shoulder, is between Tayyib's horns (although occasionally he likes to sit on Joe's head). He does the scouting for the group, as the only bird dæmon.

This bird is the entire reason I made this damn AU. It's just too perfect. Look at this Catholic-ass bird!

Booker: Amandine (black rat)

*wheezing* I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I'm not sorry.

Now, the problem with dæmons is that we have rat symbolism, which is of rats as dirty and sneaky, but we're also modern human beings that know perfectly well rats are cute, intelligent and affectionate creatures that make amazing pets. Amandine herself is mostly just shy and quiet, although she does like it when she gets the chance to roast Booker, but then again, who doesn't? She is their little reconnaissance expert, being sent in to buildings and small places to chew through wires and spy. She, unlike Booker, is always supremely well-groomed.

I did consider a ferret or stoat, something a little more noble, but I personally do love rats so much and so I wanted a positive rat dæmon, for once.

Nile: Dakarai (red wolf)

I wanted to give Nile something supremely American, but she was in the Marines, and soldiers of most kinds tend to have dog dæmons, so no stereotypical birds. But Nile is also smart and quick-thinking, and family-oriented, so the red wolf made sense to me. Dakarai is loyal and far more serious than his human, a bit more cynical. Having been trained in a modern Armed Force, post-Geneva Convention, he's never touched another human being and has exclusively fought other dæmons. He is, of course, a good tracker.

Someone had to have a canine in this group. Might as well be Nile!

Bonus (under the cut for cockroach reasons):

James Copley: Vindemiatrix (common raven)

The Odin symbolism of the knowledge-seeker raven, honestly. She perches in odd places, watches everything, and reports back. She is a secret-keeper and prone to keeping her own counsel, not interacting much with other dæmons. She, like Copley, misses his wife and her Pallas's cat dæmon something fierce.

Stephen Merrick: Unnamed (American cockroach)

Need I say more? He deserves it.

Dr Meta Kozak: Unnamed (hagfish)

A disgusting dæmon for a disgusting woman, who burrows into people's bodies and eats them from the inside out. She carries the horrid thing in a lightweight tank backpack, one of the many modern accomodations for people with water-dwelling dæmons.

Keane: Unnamed (Eastern black rhino)

A beautifully noble dæmon, unfortunately wasted on a bastard.

Lykon: Unnamed (melanistic leopard)

She was graceful, majestic and courteous, and absolutely breathtaking in battle. She would dispense affection to daemon and human alike, much like Lykon himself.

[kneelingshadowsalome]

Good lord HOWDY and good morning to you and our toxic king <3 but I am dying at disappearing act reader who plans for WEEKS maybe months to escape this dude, gets off the grid in a pretty impressive way for a little civilian girl (Konig is impressed, but it’s still child’s play to find her for a guy like him), leaves him a long ass letter about why she’s leaving and TO NOT COME LOOKING FOR HER all caps, bold, underline. And konig in the Miette meme voice is all “a game of chase?! For me?!” And then only when reader is absolutely devastated when he finds her is he like…..ah. Well then. “He already won her heart once - he’ll do it again” which is so damn threatening I love that line, congrats on your stupid wonderful writing IM OBSESSED

Oh my GOD are you kidding me 💖

Has mixed feelings when König comes to her and makes hot love to her, cuddles her to bruises every night and she knows she's going to miss him. But it's just too much, this just won't do, she has to go back to normal, get this guy out of her head.

I mean. Ahahaha she doesn't have a CHANCE.

Poor girl, thinks so so hard if it could truly be done, if there's hope for her still... Makes the decision, draws out plans, has maps under her bed and a bug out bag at ready, lots of cash to start a new life somewhere far away...

It was just a crazy little episode in her silly little life. Just a crazy horny killer dude from Austria...

She leaves when he's on a mission, sneaks out and tells no one where she's going, travels light, takes the long route to her pretty new apartment where everything is normal and *safe* and calm. Wears a beanie and sunglasses outside, dresses differently, and a few days pass... she starts to relax. He hasn't found her – her little runaway plan actually worked!

She hugs a pillow every night, secretly yearns for him, but stays strong – it's better this way, surely. Puts up some cute lil curtains she just bought to herself as a treat, there's tea on her table as she dances to a song and decorates her new place, soon she will look for a new job at an internet cafe, then out from the window she sees something chillingly familiar...

In walks König, and it seems even the birds have gone silent, the sun goes into a cloud, and he stands there at her door, barely fits to straighten to his full height under that frame, his ice blue eyes creasing in the depths of the hood – of course he's smiling. And then he tilts his head, terror and lust pool in her stomach again as he says......

...And she despises herself for the first thought she's having, the unchecked little whisper...

He came for me.

"Found you."

((Anon the "A game of chase? For me?!" has me dying, I'm wheezing))

[darkforestdreams]

"Lunar's SECRET PLAN" Episode! (Me Gushing Over an LAES Episode)

MY GOD, I ADORED today's episode of the Lunar and Earth show. Dazzle being a helpful bean, Sun being a big brother (no pun intended), Earth being a goofball, Lunar being a lit--UH, I mean, fun-sized trickster grump, GIANTS IN THE DAYCARE--I LOVE IT!

And I thought Lunar and Earth helping Sun with his goose magic was funny! Earth's "sibling dynamic" line is so true. It's practically her catchphrase by now, but I sure ain't complainin'! :D

Lunar actually did fool me the first time he did the thing when they were by the ball pit. I didn't even realize he did it again before it became obvious. I'm around 5' 2'' years so I can relate to Lunar's frustration, but if we're small then WE ARE GOING TO BE PROUD OF IT, DAMMIT! And he DID have a bit of a sense of humor about it, mimicking the Jaws theme when in the ball pit after Earth pointed out that only the top of his head was visible.

And MY GOD, Sun/Happy Boy was SUCH a butt of a big brother. XD It was freaking funny how merciless he was with the teasing. I mean, he started it around less than one minute into the video! Maybe he was a bit mean, but he was genuinely apologetic when he thought he went too far.

It was nice that Sun was having a good day, joking and laughing. I mean, he was ACTUALLY laughing, not just wheezing or huffing a few times. I'm super proud of him. His problems and trauma aren't over, but he's still come a long way.

NOW FOR EARTH: I LOVE Earth's sense of humor. I love how hammy and silly she is, first was the whole "L-L-L-L-LUNAAAR~!" from the last laes lore episode, then today it was her "I have been learning PROOOGRAMMING!"

I wish I was half as confident as she is about putting the energy into the silliness. It's in my range of humor, and sometimes I can be hammy in front of others but I can also backtrack. I just get worried people think it's stupid instead of silly and that I'm being stupid. I just need people who I trust to really know me, I guess.

ANYWAY! BACK TO THE FUN STUFF!

I thought of a good nickname for Lunar: BLUEBERRY MOONCAKE!

If you don't know what a mooncake is... it's banned in several countries so that's understandable.

Finally Dazzle--sweet baby girl. She went from throwing a toy in Lunar's face because it was funny to offering to find that FREAKIN' DONUT THING, WHICH COULD'E BEEN LITERALLY ANYWHERE IN THAT WAREHOUSE-SIZED ROOM. She's definitely learning stuff from Sun, and he already trusts her enough to let her find it on her own. Yes he goes to help her at the end BUT YOU CAN'T DENY HOW CUTE THEIR BOND IS!

And now... quoting this genuinely wonderful exchange:

Lunar: I don't even know how I can hear you right now.

Earth: It's because I'm YELLING~!

Lunar: ...FAIR ENOUGH!

Earth: DID I HURT YOUR FEELINGS!?

Lunar: NO!

Earth: SO WE'RE COOL!?

Lunar: YEP~!

Earth: OKAY~!

[fanaticsnail]

Hello Snail!!

I just wanted to tell you that I loved your "Dreaming About You" with the Kid Pirates when I read it weeks? ago aaaaand… I-I liked the Heat part SO MUCH that I still keep remembering it and laughing.

This part was sooo cute:

Look at him, look how in love he is:

You have the ability to make us fall in love with… unconventional characters… And now I love him so much that I'm writing a love story for him thanks to your fic.

Isn't it wonderful to share inspiration?

Love you, Jin

I am dying from laughter. Wheezing. Properly wheezing. I need to get my Ventolin asthma puffer because my gosh, that photo edit of Heat is just 👌👌👌.

Jintaka: look at him, look how in love he is

Heat: 👁️👄👁️📜 "you are perfect"

Snail: 😂🤣😭💀💀💀

Heat is so good. More people need to fall in love with him, conventional or otherwise. I'm glad someone requested him for the kissing booth 🥹👌👌.

YOU'RE WRITING FOR HIM TOO?? Oh, I love you Jintaka!!

[suguru-getos]

Can you write a fanfiction about kaveh finding out about the fact that idk the reader used to be a harbinger or somth pleaaseee, angst and comfort pleaasee (winks with 54545454 dollars)

LMAOOO the winks and 545454.... I'm wheezing :P

| Kaveh x F!Reader Comfort | I accept you the way you are |

Genre: Angst to comfort, our dearest Kaveh being a wonderful and supportive partner. Mentions of violence, nightmares.

You jolted awake from your slumber, the familiar yet gut-wrenching sight of the kills that haunted you kept you awake. One of the corpses looked like Kaveh in your nightmare, and you scream cried at the grotesque sight of it all. Your hands had blood, his blood... "No, please-" you cried out, which woke Kaveh also, from his deep slumber.

"Hey hey- little Angel, is everything alright?" Kaveh was quick to wrap his arms around you, a warm hug enveloping your senses while you sobbed profusely. "Nightmare- Kaveh... I can't lose you," you were disarrayed by your emotions, the turmoil, guilt, everything was getting a bit too much for you to handle.

You were a Fatui Harbinger, who had resigned from her job and decided to quit. After knowing that your deeds of forceful diplomacy are taking a much farther and exceptional toll on you.

It was on your journey to Sumeru, that you met Kaveh and instantly were enamored by him. His smile, his soft heart, his affection, his sensitivity. It almost made you feel like a sinner, an undeserving sinner when you got Kaveh's selfless love in return...

"It's okay, I'm here. I'm never leaving. Nightmares and dreams, both are not real baby." Kaveh smiled, kissing your forehead and wiping your tears off with the pad of his thumb.

"It's okay, do you want to go for a walk with me?" Kaveh looked at you, he could almost hear the loud thumping of your anxious heart. Kaveh cupped your face, sighing and gently chiding, "Look at me, sweetness, your past should be left in the past. Do you understand?"

You've had countless conversations with Kaveh where he had acted like your unpaid therapist, listening to your guilt and still loving you endlessly for it. Today was going to be just one of those... among the countless other sleepless nights.

"I love you, talk to me.... I'm here, my cute little masterpiece, I'm always going to be here."

[bellysoupset]

So I was wondering 👉👈 with Wendy adjusting to Vince being Gone maybe she gets really sick and just misses him but doesn’t want to call but like maybe Jonah comes to check on her and she’s very emotional and he finally calls Vince to talk to her while she is sick or something ? sorry I’m a sucker for their love 🏳️

Hiiii, I LOVED this ask and it was overdue Leo as a caretaker to Wendy, so I did a little switcharoo, I hope you don't mind!

Also this was 🦦's request and someone else's as well!!

This is part 3 of the strep throat fic. Read part 1 here and part 2 here.

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"Are you sure you don't wanna tag along?" Jonah asked with a pout, for the 5th time.

Leo rolled his eyes, stealing another peck and shoving Jon towards the front door of their apartment, "no, it's your sister. She wants to hang out with you-"

"You were invited-"

"Jonah, it's fine. I'm not gonna die one night alone at home," Leo grinned, kissing him again, "I have a lot of reading to catch up on. And don't even worry about dinner, I'm goin to order something in."

Jonah let out a huff, looking conflicted, "Okay... We're going to be back around ten," he grimaced and Leo chuckled, stealing another kiss and shoving him out.

"Get out of here. Have fun with Angie," he rested on the threshold, "love you."

"Love you too," Jonah sighed, fixing his trench coat and walking to the elevator, while Leo crouched down to stop JD from darting out of the front door.

Leo let out a happy sigh as soon as he shut the door, looking forward to his lazy night in. He loved Jonah, but it was good to have some time apart from each other and Leo had many plans to do ten different shades of nothing.

He sprawled on the couch and JD jumped on top of him, butting her head against his chin, "you're so cute," he cooed, scratching the kitten and smooching the top of her head, "the cutest cat ever."

She let out an indignant meow at being squeezed, but didn't pull back at all and Leo happily continued to pester the animal, kissing her all over.

He hadn't been lying, there was a lot of reading to be done and at least two different actions movies he wanted to watch. By the time he finished going through his copy of Copyright Wars, JD was purring like a little engine against his belly, curled up in a way that her fluffy tail was nearly tickling her nose.

Leo lowered the book, opening a smile at the kitten and smoothing a hand down her spine. JD didn't even stir.

He gave up on the double movie idea, since it was already almost 9 o'clock, and instead ordered food, yawning already. Leo sighed, he was getting old, sleepy at 9 PM.

It was 10 already when Leo finished scrapping the bottom of his food container and he stretched on the couch, glancing at his phone briefly. Not a text from Jon, which was good, meant he was actually enjoying himself with Angie.

Deciding he should watch the movie in bed, since he was going to most likely fall asleep through it, Leo got up to go fix the guest room for Angie's stay.

He fully expected it to be Jonah when he heard a phone ringing, so Leo took a second to realize that his own phone was in the pocket of his sweatpants, not ringing.

JD was already inspecting the source of the noise, Jon's phone fallen under the couch, and Leo picked it up without thinking, just wanting to make the noise stop.

"Hi?"

"Jon, can you- Leo?" Wendy interrupted herself and Leo let out a small chuckle, squishing the phone between his shoulder and cheek and getting back to the task of fixing the guest room.

"Jonah forgot his phone home," he entered the guest bathroom to make sure they had extra towels and then jumped at a loud noise, taking a second to realize the rattling cough was coming from the phone, not inside his apartment, "are you alright? That didn't sound good..." He paused against the bathroom door and heard as Wendy wheezed and gasped for air.

"I'm fine," she scoffed, her voice completely shot, "I'm fine, I just-" Wendy didn't sound fine, not even remotely. Not only she sounded terribly sick, and it was probably his fault by being all germy in her apartment, but she sounded sad.

"Is anyone with you?" Leo asked, biting his bottom lip and nervously looking around.

"I don't need a babysitter, I'm fine," Wendy groaned, causing him to sigh.

"Taking that as a no," he ran his fingers nervously through his hair, "alright, you need anything from the pharmacy?"

A small hesitation and he realized this had probably been the reason she called in the first place.

"Wendy?"

"Uhm- More tissues and cough syrup? I'm out," because she had fed him half the bottle.

"On it," Leo turned around and left the bathroom, heading to the kitchen where they kept a notepad to list down groceries and scribbling a note for Jon, "I'm gonna be there in twenty, don't die."

He hung up before she could complain.

-----

"You look great," Leo said sarcastically, the minute Wendy opened the door of her apartment. She had a blanket wrapped around her as if it was a cape and her face was waxy white, nose all red and raw.

He expected a response, their usual back and forth, but all Leo got was Wendy staring at him drowsily, swaying on the spot. There was a feverish haze to her eyes and she seemed really unsteady on her feet.

"Oookay," Leo cringed, planting his hands on her shoulder, "let's sit down before you collapse."

"Uhm..." Wendy allowed him to guide her back inside and Leo steered her to the living room couch, where she clearly had already set camp. There was a waste basket next to the couch, filled almost to the top with little tissue balls, an empty box of tissues, one of those tacky inspirational water bottles that showed someone's liquid intake for the day, currently stuck on "halfway there!"

Wendy collapsed on the couch and promptly fell back against the cushions, pressing her eyes closed, "what are you doing here...?"

Her voice wasn't above a whisper.

"Can't let you die, I'll never hear the end of it," Leo shrugged, dumping the contents of his paper bag on her coffee table, "when was the last time you took medicine?"

"How'd you get in?" Wendy frowned, confused, and the man paused, raising his eyebrows.

"You just let me in..." he trailed off and planted his hand to Wen's forehead, hissing at the heat, "isn't that just great. Give me your blanket."

"Uhm?" Wendy shivered violently, "no."

"Yes," Leo sighed, "c'mon, you're boiling up," he manhandled the blanket away from her and Wendy let out a pitiful whine, sounding and looking dangerously close to tears.

"I'm cold..." She groaned, frustrated and trying to grab her blanket back, "Leoo..."

"Sorry," he threw the blanket on the armchair, "when did you last take medicine, Wen?"

"I don't know," she sniffled, rubbing at her eyes angrily, "my head is killing me."

"Because you have a raging fever," Leo crouched in front of her, grabbing the brand new thermomether he had purchased and removing it from the plastic case, "under your tongue, c'mon."

Wendy opened her mouth to complain, only to immediately be hit by a terrible, painful coughing fit and Leo jumped to hold her by the shoulders as she folded in half with the coughing.

He could hear her lungs rattling and Leo cringed in sympathy and guilt, sitting next to her and rubbing her back in firm circles. Wendy let out a whimper and reached for the waste basket, as her coughs turned into gags, tears streaming down her face. She gagged fruitlessly over the basket, before finally stopping, panting as if she had ran a marathon. Leo could feel her heart hammering just by touching her.

Deciding he really didn't care if she had taken medicine already or not, Leo reached for the antibiotics that Jonah had fed him when sick. It was in syrup, which he had appreciated immensely because his throat hurt too much to swallow, and Wendy clearly shared this opinion, because she obediently took the dosage off the measuring cup.

"Alright, now-" Leo pushed her to the side, until she was lying against the pillows, and folded her legs as if Wendy was a doll, "lie down and get some rest."

Wendy let out a sigh and curled up, shivering, "Leo, I'm freezing."

"I'm sorry," he pouted, "but you're really, really warm, I don't think you should have a blanket..."

She didn't answer him, only let out a little teary whine and hugged herself, continuing to shiver. It broke his heart, so Leo started rubbing her arm up and down as if to generate warmth.

He assumed the worst was over, as nearly one hour passed without Wendy so much as stirring, so Leo got up to fix up her place. He picked up the tissues that had missed the waste basket, as well as her water bottle and went to dispose of the trash and make her some tea.

Leo was lying against the fridge, waiting for the kettle to whistle, when his phone started to buzz. He glanced at the picture of Jonah, him watching the sunset in Italy, and picked it up, "hey..."

"Hi, I'm going over," Jon sounded worried, "switch places with me."

"No, you're not," Leo sighed, rolling his eyes, "Angie is here, you're gonna stay with your sister and preferably not infect her with this bug. I can handle Wendy..."

There was a second of silence as Jonah clearly tried to argue, but found no fault in his logic. Instead he let out a groan, "how is she?"

"She's got a really high fever, but I fed her some medicine and now she's asleep," Leo shrugged, before he remembered his boyfriend couldn't see him, "it's just strep, she'll live, babe."

"Uhm," Jon didn't sound convinced, "that's a bummer, we were supposed to have lunch with her tomorrow. Angie and I."

Leo felt a flash of jealousy that he wasn't included in those plans, but he quickly pushed it away. It was good that they weren't tied by the hip, he reminded himself.

"Yeah, you'll have to reschedule, there's no way she's going anywhere tomorrow," Leo removed the kettle from the stove, "do you know what her favorite tea is?"

"Lemon and ginger," Jonah answered and Leo could vaguely hear Angelina's voice in the background, cooing over JD.

"How's Angie?"

"She's fine, planning to steal our cat," Jon teased and Leo heard Angie let out an offended gasp at his words, causing him to smile fondly at the interaction.

His smile promptly slipped away as he heard Wendy cough and choke in the living room.

"Gotta go, bye. Love you," Leo said quickly, not waiting for an answer and rushing out of the kitchen. He was a second too late, because just as he was about to circle the couch he heard Wendy's cough turn into gags and then pink liquid covered the front of her hoodie.

She groaned, hiccupping and sobbing, "I'm sorry, I- I don't feel good, I'msorry-"

"Hey," Leo frowned, crouching in front of her and pushing Wendy's short hair away from her mouth. She was still really warm, like the medicine had done nothing at all, "hey, Wen, it's fine. Nothing laundry can't fix, it's okay..."

"Itsssgross," she groaned, her pale face all red, scrunched up as she cried. Big fat tears running down her cheeks, "I'm sorry-"

"It's fine," Leo rolled his eyes, tucking her hair behind the ear, "look at me," he forced their eyes to meet, "you're alright."

She sniffled, "I feel disgusting."

"Shut up," Leo scoffed, grabbing a tissue and wiping her lips and her chin. Wendy didn't say or do anything, looking every bit a kid as he fussed over her, "arms up."

It was more than a little unnerving to not have her sass him. Leo fully expected at least one comment about him removing her hoodie and leaving her just in her bra, but instead Wendy only shivered violently, curling up and coughing again.

"I'm gonna get you a new hoodie," he grabbed the ditched blanket from the armchair and wrapped it around her shoulders, "be right back."

Once she was changed into a new outfit, Wendy curled back up on the couch, sniffling and continuing to cough every five minutes or so. Leo was tired, but he couldn't imagine just how exhausted she was.

"I made you tea, do you wanna try it? Might help your throat," he walked back to the cough with the mug and Wendy shook her head.

"Gonna come back up," she rasped, breaking into a new coughing fit and whimpering, touching her throat, "I want Vin..."

Leo's heart all but broke in a million little pieces. He couldn't help but put himself in her shoes, "how about we facetime him, what do you think?" he suggested despite his better judgment and the fact it was nearly midnight on a school night.

Wendy immediately perked up, before she frowned and shook her head, "gonna bother him," she curled up more, "then he'll break up with me."

He frowned at that, "...What? No, he won't, what the fuck?" Leo rolled his eyes, pushing Wendy's feet on the couch so he could sit next to her and then grabbing his phone, "you're not a bother, you're his girlfriend."

Wendy let out a little scoff at that, sniffling once more and Leo glared at his phone, suddenly feeling a lot more protective than he would've liked.

The phone rang and rang and then suddenly Vince's face appeared. Tired and alarmed, with a glittery star glued to one side of his face and red marks that indicated he had fallen asleep on top of a notebook.

"Leo? Kid, is really late, is everything okay?"

"No," Leo shook his head, "Wen's sick, can you just chat-"

Vince's frown deepened, as he interrupted, "sick? How sick? I can go over-"

"No!" Wendy exclaimed at that, before whimpering when that caused her throat to hurt and starting to cough all over again. Leo rolled his eyes, thumping her back.

"She's got my strep bug," he explained, "you don't have to come over, just talk with her a little, will ya?"

"Yeah, of course," Vince eagerly nodded, rubbing a hand over his face in order to look more awake. Leo passed Wendy the phone and then heard Vin's voice twice as soft as he said, "hey honey, not feeling well?"

"I'm fine," Wendy lied, causing Vince to laugh given her tone wasn't above a raspy whisper, and Leo to snort. He patted Wendy's calf, getting up from the couch.

"I'm gonna get you some more medicine," he whispered, messing Wendy's sweaty bangs and moving away when she tried to slap his hand.

He put away another dosage of the syrup, before heading to Wendy's bedroom and fixing up her pillows, pulling on the blankets as well. Once he returned to the living room, Wen was half asleep lying on her side, giggling as Vince explained why he was covered in glitter.

Leo saw as the man panned the camera, revealing his baby sister passed out on his bad, surrounded by crayons and glitter glue, "I didn't have the heart to wake her up. She was helping me grade the kid's papers."

"Cute," Wendy sniffled, "get a picture for me."

"Of course," Vince yawned, "here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna check with Daniels if he can get my seniors last period tomorrow and I'll go over to be with you, alright?"

"You don't have to do that," Wendy mumbled, rubbing at her forehead, "I'm an adult and Leo is here and-"

"She'd love it," Leo interrupted, "sounds like a great idea."

Because he knew she was lying through her teeth. Wendy's shoulders dropped with visible relief as Vince shrugged in agreement.

"It's not a big deal, honey, Daniels already keeps my seniors half my class anyway, he might as well keep them for the remaining forty minutes too."

"Who's Daniels?" Wendy yawned, smiling and Vince let out a loud huff.

"Some asshole," then his voice softened up, "get some sleep, I'll see you tomorrow, okay? I love you."

"I love you too..." Wendy's eyes were already closed and it came out more like a wheeze. Leo took the phone from her, wordlessly waving to Vince and hanging up.

"Hey," he touched Wendy's arm, "let's move you to bed, c'mon."

"Uhmm?"

"C'mon," Leo pulled her up on her feet and Wendy slumped against him, pressing her feverish forehead to his chest. Once they entered the bedroom, he handed her the medicine, "big gulp."

"It's gonna make me sick," Wendy groaned, barely seeming to be conscious.

"It won't," Leo pushed it in her hand, "and the waste basket is right here and I'll be in the couch, okay? It's gonna be fine."

"You're staying?" Wendy asked, before gulping the medicine down and shuddering at the taste. She curled up under the thin blanket Leo had left on the bed and hugged her pillow.

"Duh," Leo smoothed her hair, "of course."

"Uhm," Wendy hummed, smiling and didn't say anything else until he walked to the door and hit the lights, keeping the hallway light on, "hey Leo?"

"Yeah?"

"You're an ass," she whispered and even in the half dark he could clearly see the smile on her face. Leo smiled back.

"Yeah, well, game recognizes game, Wen. Get some rest," he grinned, leaving her door open and walking to the living room.