#(I am going to sleep now)

[juicebuck]

thinking about buck's "i was just the guy standing there when it happened" after the shooting and buck standing there watching eddie let chris go. like, extremely UPSETTING actually. because in both of those situations there was literally nothing more that he could do. but he's BUCK. he measures his worth in what he can do, not who he is. being there is not enough, it's not enough. except to eddie it is enough, it always has been. eddie doesn't need him to do anything other than be there.

[s0fti3w1tch]

I did the evil art style thing

plain text: i did the evil art style thing /end plain text

[Image Description 1: Two bust drawings of Tentative Devotee AU Leonardo/Trainee, looking at the viewer with their tongue out playfully, black devil horns and small angel wings doodled around him, in two different styles. On the left is the OP's usual style with bright colors, thick lineart, cell-shading, and rim-light. The right has desaturated colors, thin lines, blended shading, sharper shapes, and a grainy effect edited over it. /end ID]

[Image Description 2: The right drawing without the grain filter. /end ID]

[amyoffline]

Phil is giving "NES sprite with a three-color palette limit" here

he's like a cute glittery black mage. Phil Lester could be under that hat

also I bought a ticket already Dan you can stop biting your nails on my home page

[egghowl]

The End Times featuring @lilybug-02 's Toasty

Some context and process showcase stuff under the cut.

There is a lot of text.

Ok so Outer Wilds, one of my favorite games ever. I wanted to draw something for it for a while now. With brittle hollow being my favorite planet of the solar system it felt right having it take up most of the image. I added giant's deep because it's simply iconic and you can kinda see it from anywhere during the whole game. And Timber Hearth because it just felt right having it in the picture. Also the supernova is there because it looks cool.

Toasty

why is Toasty experiencing the Horrors?

yeah um so about that. I started working on this image back in september (i don't know why it took me so long to finish it i worked on it most of the time [you do not want to see the state of the half bread chaos fanart i've been making for like 2.5 years]).

During that time when i was sketching it, lilybug was posting a lot about their OC toasty. Now i didn't really feel like drawing the hatchling at the time and was also heavily sleep deprived so i drew them, mainly for fun. They were on my mind and i wanted to have a character in the middle of the image. Now i planned to replace them with something more appropriate eventually.

Now why did i not do that? To be frank i tried. Quite a few times actually. I tried to replace them with the hatchling, the spaceship, i also tried to put my own character there instead, tried it with the spot being empty (that looked awful), put a symbol of the eye there, silhouette of the far away stranger, ... just over all tried a bunch of things but... none of them looked right.

I kept returning to the sketch of toasty and they always looked the most... present(?) in the picture. None of the other things looked that bad but Toasty just felt correct. Even tho they were "kinda" out of place. I finally decided to color and shade them and they just looked... great. So i kept them there. Even though they should have never been there.

TLDR: they were a placeholder that i tried to replace a bunch of times, and after failing i decided to keep them in the image.

Alright some closing thoughts.

Outer Wilds is a game that means a lot to me as it does to many other people. I could say the whole spiel about how much you shouldn't look up anything about it whilst insisting that you have to play it. But i don't want to do that. I played Outer Wilds when i was going through a bunch of stuff. And during my fractured play through of it, it didn't make all of it disappear or change my world view so much i that i finally stopped... having "dreams". What it managed to do is... calm me down. It was the first time in so long i felt at least partially content with... everything. I am still dealing with all the stuff I was going through, more than ever. But, i am a little bit calmer during it. At least for now.

You don't have to play outer wilds. But i think you would like it.

I want to thank Alex, Kelsey, Andrew and everyone else that worked on Outer Wilds. You all made a very special game that has done what no one else could.

Anyway here are some pictures from the process.

Alright, Byee [Ōō]/

[nyx-thedragon]

Newsies thoughts part 3

so I just finished watching Newsies 1992 for the fourth time, and noted down a bunch of things I noticed or thoughts I had. I didn't do this the third time I watched bc that one was with my brother and I wanted to focus on the movie and talking and joking with him lol.

anyway, I noted down a lot of things, so prepare for a long post. (these are in order of when I thought of them, and I'm typing them from my notes app so enjoy my train of thought/how my brain thinks)

1- shoutout to Mr Kloppman for taking care of the boys

2- what's the story behind the lady that comes in singing about her son in "Carrying the Banner"? she fucking slays, but I'm very confused about it

3- they're literally just a bunch of teenage boys who've been dealt an awful hand in life but try their best to keep everyone's morale up and stay positive (me realizing how sad the reality of the newsboys is)

4- all the older newsies taking care of and helping the little ones I love them so bad

5- you can tell how close the newsies are with each other I love it. family for real

6- why does Les carry a wooden sword almost the whole movie?

7- "this is my brother David. he's older" "oh, no kiddin'"

8- love love love how all the newsies just adopt David and Les into the group immediately

9- Pulitzer needs a magnifying glass to read the big-ass headline lmao

10- Seitz lowkey seems to kinda be on the newsies' side

11- why does the crowd boo when the old guy is holding up the "round 58" sign? (during the scene where there's a boxing match going on)

12- Les and Davey immediately follow Jack in running from Snyder even though they've never been in trouble with the law

13- Davey stops Les from putting his head in the horse mask thing (?) (when they're in Medda's theatre)

14- Jack just staring at Davey while Medda coos over Les

15- genuinely Jack did not need to pull Davey by his tie. he could've grabbed his shoulder, but no. had to pick the gayest option

16- Davey inviting Jack to his house after just meeting him literally like not even 12 hours ago. and then inviting him to stay the night?? down bad behavior for real. and he seems so nervous to introduce him to his parents too ??

17- Sarah Jacobs please give me a chance please please please

18- ngl the scenes with Jack and Sarah are a little bit like,,,cringe?? idk they just don't feel right idk if they have enough chemistry for Sarah to realistically be Jack's love interest

19- bro just casually steals a horse and no one goes after him ??? (during Santa Fe)

20- the stupid fucking calculation thing Pulitzer does with his arms omg it's so funny for no reason

21- Kid Blink either doesn't see or just doesn't care that one of the Delanceys is mocking him

22- Jack puts his hand like right next to Davey's face and then slowly moves it away lol (when Jack is asking Davey what he should say to the other newsies when first planning the strike)

23- Davey staring longingly at Jack while he's up writing "strike" on the board

24- "i need some of those...what do you call 'em?" "whatever you want!" (from a random newsie in the crowd, love whoever that was)

25- Spot Conlon hears Davey say one sentence and is like 'yeah this guy never shuts up once you get him going, i can tell' (hence "walking mouth")

26- who is the newsie that just appears behind Jack while they're in Brooklyn talking to Spot??

27- Mush and Davey friendship i love you so

28- where does Race get a harmonica from for "Seize The Day"?

29- love all the littles standing on the statue pedestal during "Seize The Day"

30- Jack and Davey jump up on the statue pedestal and start kicking each other. playing footsie, boys?

oh dear lord i did not realize i noted down this much holy shit

31- Davey immediately looking for Les when the cops show up

32- the Refuge needs better security at the gate cuz how did newsies sneak in TWICE

33- they had time to choreograph a whole dance routine bro (the little seize the day reprise thing)

34- "everyone remain calm" "let's soak 'em for Crutchie!"

35- Davey gets pulled away by someone in the crowd while trying to help Jack (during the big scene when they get ambushed by the police at the distribution place)

36- why are half of the Brooklyn guys grown ass men?? and they're intimidated enough by Spot Conlon to let him be the leader? man i love Spot Conlon he's so cool

37- Spot and Kid Blink lowkey friendship love it

38- Dutchy being horizontal for the picture

39- the workers at the restaurant just watching the chaos of "King of New York"

40- i hate Snyder's face. it makes me uncomfy

41- Sarah Jacobs, how is your hair perfect right after waking up tell me your secrets

42- if they wanted the Jack and Sarah love interest story to actually work better, they should've fit more scenes of them talking

43- nah cuz actually wdym Jack's "real" name is Francis?? he doesn't look like a Francis at all (this is just me being baffled that he could be named Francis, of all things)

44- who is letting Kid Blink hang off the fucking balcony bro he is nawt gonna land on his feet

45- Race and Blink being Medda's #1 hype men <3

oh my fucking god i'm so sorry this is so long i apologize profusely. if you've made it this far, go get a little treat for yourself

46- Jack and Davey are so grabby with each other when Davey is warning Jack about Snyder

47- Medda i love you !!! (tried to fight off the police to defend Race. "he's just a child")

48- how are the newsies losing the fight against the police? there's like a thousand of them and not as many of the police (or at least it seems there's a lot less police)

49- Denton trying to get to Jack when he's captured by the police

50- Race trying to gamble with the judge, he's so unserious

51- the look Jack gives Davey when Snyder starts telling the truth about Jack (his real name, his dad not being out West)

52- i keep accidentally mixing up Specs and Dutchy lol. probably cuz they both wear glasses (i feel so bad for this omg i'm so sorry Specs and Dutchy)

53- no yeah, security at the gate of the Refuge is awful. 6 boys snuck in at once !!

54- why did Pulitzer tell Jack to shut up and listen THREE TIMES when he wasn't even talking ???

55- Davey was just standing in the courtyard outside Pulitzer's, how did no one see him?? he wasn't even hiding, dude

56- Mush shows up to get the "Newsies Banner" papers twice - once by himself and again with Kid Blink

57- "can you read? read that" (Race making sure the kids will be able to read the paper love him for that)

58- Race and Les's little friendship moment is cute ("when the circulation bell starts ringin', will we hear it?" "nah")

59- Race's reaction to Roosevelt is funny. "Roosevelt!?" (bro is shocked)

60- Denton hanging out with Les while Davey gets his papes

61- Race cheering when Jack kisses Sarah. "Jackie boy!"

whew oh dear lord I am so so so sorry for this being so fucking long. I didn't even realize I had noted down so many things I feel bad for making folks have to read this whole thing if they want to see all my thoughts. maybe I should split this in half and have two posts instead of this long one?? idk let me know what you think. also, if I got the names wrong for any newsies, please let me know I'm still learning lol.

uh yeah, this post is over now. stay hydrated, get some rest, and stay cool

[voparwave69]

I noticed that he was staring at me in my folder from his folder and I figured I knew why...jealousy...hatred...no manners. but I should have kept my big fat mouth shut ngl

[thhouseofblack]

Chapter 4 of My Love I Kept You Well is out!

please do heed the trigger warnings! 😭🩷

https://archiveofourown.org/works/63637687/chapters/163934209

[gaylordthethird]

Pulling up to the club and I get denied, not because im underage but because i kept using big words and having profound thoughts, and I was really killing the vibe

[amidoobles]

Not even my sobs that echo in this quiet room . . . I can't say it, Against the voice I hid, and against me, deathly lonliness attacks

This illustration was an absolute nightmare to make. It probably took me over ten layers to get the anatomy on the girl right, and even now, it's still too stiff for my liking. I remember, when I first started drawing, I had the tendency to try and draw something, but I could never get it done right. Then, when I'd go back and look at it, it would look so stiff. . .

Nowadays, I don't have that problem as often, but this illustration was one of those instances. Despite this, I am happy I persevered and tried to finish it. Although now I know how much more I need to improve on anatomy, rip.

Anyway, this illustration was inspired by Deathly Loneliness Attacks and Swayed by Spring Reminiscence. Or, what I like to call them, "songs that I think would be good for a dramatic running while crying moment".

[suddencolds]

3, 12, 13!! for asks

Thank you for the ask!!!! ❤️ These are really good questions, I'm excited 🥹

going to answer #3 last and under the cut because... my answer to it is 📜📜📜📜📜

12. a trope you’re really into right now

from a recent wip: a sick character feeling self conscious about their illness + wanting to hug the other character for comfort, but feeling a little too embarrassed to get too close... their love interest figuring this out and offering up that physical affection with utterly no reservation or hesitance :) ❤️

13. a fandom you’re thinking about writing for

I've enjoyed a lot of media as of late, but nothing has really caught my eye recently in the snz sense. I think it's been awhile since I've been properly into fandom? T.T that said, if anyone writes for Fr//ier//en or Om//nisci//ent Read//er's V//iewpo//int, I'll definitely read it🧎‍♀️

also! There's a book I'm reading currently where one of the characters is... 😵‍💫😵‍💫 (I need him to catch a cold expeditiously). But I'm only like 90 pages in... 360 left to see if he does something irredeemable that turns me off from him 🫡

3. how you feel about your current WIP

ohh my gosh... I'm going to talk about yvverse bc that's perhaps the most on topic for this blog 😭 (I am putting all of this under the cut; please do not feel pressured to read it)

to be honest, I've strongly considered never posting another installment for the series (even though I know—and have known for awhile now—how I want it to end). it's not out of any dislike for the series... actually, I feel like I've gotten (almost) everything I've wanted out of it? the last installment (AO pt2) is something that took a lot out of me... I can say now that writing it felt uniquely like I was putting my heart on the line. in short: 1) I am content with what I have; 2) I'm maybe disproportionately scared of ruining something I'm proud of; 3) writing this series has become quite lonely.

ultimately, I've asked myself many times: in choosing to end the series here, would I be claiming a personal victory, or would I just be prematurely giving up on something I still care deeply about? it's something I've gone back and forth on, that I feel uncertain about still.

when I posted FMT pt1 way back in January 2023, I didn't have any expectations for the series at all. but I think for a year and a half it became the thing I cared about most—it was my first proper attempt at a novel. it was also one of the first times I felt like other people cared about something that felt so deeply personal to me. I think when other people told me they liked it I felt like, I don't know. I felt really really happy, in a way I don't even know if I can properly articulate, and in a way that felt so wholly irreplaceable. I don't think I've felt like that since.

WIP-wise: I have written quite a lot that I don't know if I'll ever post: some of it directly after AO chronologically, some of it much later on. there's a small scene that I wrote that I might post on its own at some point, as a somewhat-detached mini-oneshot? I don't think I will ever post the series ending, but who knows? maybe something down the road will make me change my mind. :') (I am so sorry for using your ask as a jumping off point to unload these thoughts omg... I was thinking of never saying anything, of just silently letting the series sit unfinished. though, I'm not sure if this information is interesting to anyone 😭)

[ Fic Writer Asks ]

[homoquartz]

4am and I'm wide awake and I never went to sleep. Don't know how that happened.

[16-04-16-daily]

Statement 0240728-B of the Assistant

The following is the written transcript of the recorded Statement 0240728-B of Dr Arian Baumfield, the assistant to the late Dr Apollo Cadence of Mary Bell Medical Facilities. This statement is regarding the domicile of one Dr Andrew Sandgrass, better known as "Unpaid MBRA Intern 2012". I begin.

With no major incident, I have arrived promptly at the house of Dr Andrew Sandgrass. I stand now, in front of his humble home. His house lies at the corner of Tomcat and Willard Street. At first glance, I find the house to be perfectly ordinary, one house surrounded by many like it. There was nothing that set it apart from the others, except there was an atmosphere of loneliness to it. The lights are still on, I can see them glow through the dark curtains. It had been a couple of weeks since Dr Sandgrass had died, I wonder if anyone in this street had noticed.

Well, I suppose I must get inside.

[Sounds of low footsteps are heard. Then, it stops. There is a deafening silence until finally, there are sounds of quiet knocks against the front door.]

Hello?

Imaginably, there is no one there. I cannot even say what compelled me to knock at all. I suppose we must improvise. I am looking here and there, there are no open windows in the house and the front porch is completely empty except for a "Welcome" doormat. [Pause as something that appears to be a doormat is lifted up.] No key here, and there is no other place where a key could possibly be hidden.

Now, I have not come to this place empty-handed. Tragically, I could not bring my satchel bag to this occasion and a huge number of tools and articles were necessary, a few of them were very large. A few mentionable articles that I have brought are the tape recorder, of course, and a lockpick set. Now, I am not sure how apt I will be at picking locks as I have only watched one YouTube video before coming here. So I am hardly prepared but I must still try.

[A zipper is pulled and after a few seconds of rummaging, the sound stops as something is pulled out of the bag. Sounds of clicks followed as the assistant let out several sighs. Evidently, he does not know what he is doing.]

Well. I don't think that worked. A second solution is needed. [He lets out a sigh.] Another thing I have brought is an axe I had acquired from the Home Depot. Now, I know it is highly intemperate but for situations like this and for self-defense, it can be necessary. The axe was entirely my last resort, something I can only use when all else fails but — it will certainly make things easier. I don't think it matters if anyone sees or hears, far stranger things go on in this town. I doubt I will face major repercussions.

Here goes nothing. [Something that sounds like a bag is dropped on the ground and a large object is pulled out carefully. The tape recorder is placed on the ground also. The assistant takes a few steps back and takes a deep breath. Fast running, he charges against the door and there is that loud and piercing sound of wood being torn down. Two or three strikes are placed on the door until the assistant sighs again. The axe is placed inside the bag and it is zipped shut. The assistant picks up the tape recorder and he approaches the door.]

Well, that's done. I had made quite the hole on the door, large enough to poke my arm into and unlock the door from the inside. [Sounds of movement and finally, the door opens immediately with an easy click.] Oh. The door, it was unlocked previously. I didn't need to use the axe. Well. Moving on.

[atomra]

with how much i post about alucard i never got to actually mention how much i love pip. I adore that man like,,, hes my second fav character in hellsing LMAOO

i need to draw him sometime

[bluescreening]

i have covid for the fourth time and an extremely high fever. please enjoy my first ever foray into mashups made entirely in audacity within the span of like four hours

Song list:

Crescendolls - Daft Punk

Look Alive, Sunshine - My Chemical Romance

Get Into It (Yuh) - Doja Cat

In The Air Tonight - Phil Collins

Lone Digger - Caravan Palace

Down With The Sickness - Disturbed

Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick - Ian Dury and the Blockheads

What Is Love - Haddaway

Real Slim Shady - Eminem

Love Shack - The B52s

Never Gonna Give You Up - Rick Astley

Unknown From M.E. - Sonic Adventure OST

That one controversial oof noise

The half life death sound effect

[cool-person-yey]

brain felt like soup for a good portion of the evening guess fucking what I have a fever. why do I never learn

[enchantedlandcoffee]

I do have a mp3 download of Part of Me if anyone would like it. Feel free to message me and I'll send you the Google drive link 🥰