#(This is not related to [SPOILERS] but the general fate of the character)

[waitingforsecretsouls]

The main reason I go crazy for Traumerei is that I love characters whose core concept revolves around unbending loyalty regardless of the collateral and if that isn't Traumerei to a t (his entire introduction as a villain involving the beastkin even centered around it as well, just to drive the point home). You can accuse Traumerei of a lot of stuff (he's manipulative and sadistic, for a start), but NEVER that he's disloyal to his chosen allegiance. A true ride or die for Zahard

[seungminsbaldspot]

Six Years, Five months and Two days | FIVE X READER

pairing: five hargreaves x reader

Word Count: this is really fucking long, 9201

Genre: angst

General Notes: Lila x Five did happen here folks :/, sexual themes, crude language, this does not correlate with whatever happens during seasons 4 other than Lila and Five jumping into a different timeline together for seven years, Reader is referred to as female and wife

Trigger Warnings: Relationship Betrayal: Themes of infidelity and emotional betrayal, Reproductive Issues: Discussions about abortion and related emotional impact, Emotional Distress: Exploration of deep sadness, heartache, and loneliness, Loss and Separation: Themes of losing a family and feeling disconnected, Regret and Self-criticism: Characters expressing regret and self-blame, Conflict and Argument: Scenes involving intense emotional conflict and Feelings of Inadequacy: Characters grappling with their self-worth and personal place in the world.

Taglist: @fate-posts @zukki33 @nightfury @lethergy @wingoodlilboymyway @hxllhxund @stxrg3m @bigbobass @mimirockss

Spoiler: not all things have a good ending

Click here for the previous part, Part Four!

The moment you close your bedroom door, a thought strikes you with clarity: Diego deserves to know about Five’s lingering feelings for Lila. You nod to yourself — deciding to look for him.

As you pass by Diego and Lila’s room, you notice the door is ajar. Peeking inside, you see Lila sprawled across the bed, her legs swinging idly in a manner that seems almost childlike. You shake your head in frustration—Diego is nowhere in sight.

You continue downstairs, Maybe the living room?

You make your way through the house, your footsteps echoing in the quiet. As you approach the living room, you see Diego sitting on the couch, absently polishing his knives, a small smile playing on his lips. For a brief moment, you’re struck by how serene and focused he looks, a stark contrast to the pain swirling in your own heart.

You feel a pang of sympathy for him. After all, you're both caught in the fallout of each other’s spouses choices. It's as if you and Diego are unwitting allies in this mess, both grappling with the consequences of their actions.

Swallowing hard, you approach Diego. “Diego,” you say, trying to keep your voice steady despite the weight of the revelation you’re about to share. He looks up, his expression shifting from calm to concerned as he takes in your serious demeanor.

“What’s going on?” he asks, setting the knife down and straightening his posture.

You take a deep breath, gathering your thoughts. “I—I know we haven’t talked about what happened with... well, you know who,” you say, glancing around awkwardly.” But I would really like to. Like right now.”

His eyebrow quirks up in confusion, but he nods, rising from the couch. “Is the garden okay for this conversation?” he asks, gesturing toward the door. You nod, leading the way to the garden. The fresh air and tranquil setting seem to offer a brief respite from the storm of emotions you're both experiencing. Diego follows, his expression a mix of curiosity and concern.

You nod, leading the way to the garden. The fresh air and tranquil setting seem to offer a brief respite from the storm of emotions swirling around you both. Diego follows, his expression a mix of curiosity and concern.

As you step outside, the evening light casts a soft glow over the garden, the flowers swaying gently in the breeze. You take a seat on a nearby bench, and Diego settles beside you, his posture tense but attentive.

“All right,” Diego says, looking at you with a mixture of anticipation and unease. “What’s on your mind?”

You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. “Five... he admitted to me that he still has feelings for Lila.” You pause, watching as Diego’s eyes narrow, his jaw tightening.

“He said that?” Diego asks, his voice low and controlled, but you can sense the anger simmering beneath the surface.

“Yes,” you reply quietly. “And I... I don’t know what to do. I’m thinking about ending things with him, but I wanted to talk to you first. I thought... maybe it would help someone in this mess. At least one of us.”

Diego’s jaw clenches, and he runs a hand through his hair in frustration. “Unbelievable,” he mutters through gritted teeth. “That little shit.” He takes a deep breath, but it doesn’t seem to calm him much; his fists are still balled at his sides. “I don’t blame you for wanting to end things with him. I can’t believe you’ve put up with him for as long as you have.”

You offer a small shrug, feeling a mix of sadness and understanding. “I guess love makes you kind of stupid.” He goes quiet for a moment, staring off into the distance. “Yeah...”

After a beat, he looks back at you, determination flickering in his eyes. “I’m gonna go talk to Lila,” he says. “See you around?”

You nod, watching him turn and walk away, his movements tense and purposeful. He’s trying to keep his composure, but it’s clear that anger is coursing through him, each step more forceful than the last.

You head back to your room, hoping Five is gone. After everything that’s happened, it would be awkward to find him still there. As you climb the stairs, your mind races. Today has been a whirlwind. You and Five almost fucked again. You found out he still has feelings for Lila, which makes all his apologies feel meaningless. Now, you’re seriously considering ending things with him.

Just as you reach your bedroom floor, you hear shouting echoing down the hallway. Your heart quickens, the knot in your stomach tightening. You strain to listen, trying to make out the voices. It’s unmistakably Diego, his tone sharp with anger. You can’t make out what he’s saying, but it’s clear he’s furious.

And then, another voice cuts through—Lila’s. She’s shouting back, her words a rapid fire of frustration and defense. Your breath catches. Shit. They must be arguing about Five. You creep closer, curiosity and dread warring inside you.

Then you hear another voice — Five’s.

“We thought it would be better to just say it’s yours.”

Your heart skips a beat. What the hell is he talking about? You press yourself against the wall, straining to hear more, a knot of anxiety forming in your stomach.

“You lied about the baby? It’s not mine? What the actual fuck is wrong with you?” Diego yells.

There’s a moment of stunned silence, broken only by Lila’s frustrated sigh. “I didn’t lie,” she snaps back, her voice wavering between anger and defensiveness. “I just—”

“You just what?” Diego cuts her off, his tone dripping with betrayal. “You thought you’d trap me with a baby that wasn’t even mine?” Five’s voice comes through, low and controlled. “It wasn’t like that, Diego. We thought—”

But Diego’s anger flares hotter, his tone rising with each word. “I don’t give a shit what you thought!” he snaps. “This isn’t just my life you’re fucking with here —there’s a baby involved, and your wife’s life is on the line, too. Do you even realize what you’ve done?”

The room falls into a tense silence, the weight of Diego's words hanging heavy in the air. “Diego—please don’t tell her,” Five says, obviously referring to you. You slap your hand over your mouth, feeling a mix of anger and disbelief. Does he really think you’re that naive?

Diego groans in frustration. “I’m not a shady bitch,” he snaps. “You two are both fucking cheaters. You really are perfect for each other.” He turns to leave and, in doing so, catches sight of you. Your eyes widen in shock as you meet his gaze.

Diego chuckles darkly, shaking his head. “Looks like nobody’s gonna need to tell her,” he says, pointing toward you. Five’s eyes slowly meet yours, his expression shifting from shock to a pained resignation. “Fuck...” he mutters, running a hand through his hair.

Diego walks past you, giving your shoulder a pat before continuing down the hallway. You gulp, watching him go. As you turn to face Five and Lila, the reality of the situation hits hard. Lila is partially undressed—her shirt off but her bra and shorts still on. It’s clear what they were up to before Diego’s interruption. The sight confirms what you’ve feared and felt all along.

Five steps toward you, his face a mask of anguish. “Listen, I—”

You cut him off, shaking your head in disbelief. “Don’t fucking speak.” Your gaze locks onto Five, then shifts to Lila, your eyes narrowing with anger. You’re furious with them both. They were both married—how fucked up do they have to be in order to what to do this?

How fucked up are they in their heads, genuinely?

It’s been a few days since the confrontation, and the tension in the house has been palpable. Everything feels strained and fragile. You’ve spent this time preparing for the next steps, including arranging the divorce paperwork. Now, with the documents in hand, you’re feeling a mix of anxiety and resolve.

You take a deep breath and head to where Five is. He’s sitting alone, looking lost and distant. His posture is slumped, and he seems consumed by his thoughts.

“Five,” you begin, your voice trembling slightly. He looks up, his expression a mix of apprehension and sorrow.

“I’ve arranged everything for the divorce,” you continue, holding out the papers. “I need you to sign these.”

Five’s eyes move to the papers, and you can see the conflict swirling within him. He takes a deep breath, clearly struggling with his emotions. “I—I can’t sign these,” he says, his voice strained. “Not like this.”

You stare at him, frustration and hurt swirling inside you. “What do you mean you can’t sign them?” you ask, your voice tight. He sighs deeply, his gaze falling to the floor. “I’m not ready to lose you,” he says, his voice cracking with emotion.

You let out a bitter laugh. “I think you lost me the moment you decided to fuck Lila—and to top it off, get her knocked up.”

He sighs, his face a portrait of anguish. “I know I messed up. But can’t we at least try to talk this out?”

You shake your head, your voice trembling. “I think we’re past talking, Five. You lied to me about the baby being Diego’s and gave me nothing but empty apologies.” Your tears start to spill over. “How could I ever trust you again?”

He reaches out to grab you, but you jerk away, your voice sharp and resolute. “I don’t want your filthy hands on me ever a-fucking-gain.” Taking a deep breath, you hold up the papers. “You can either sign them or not. It doesn’t matter. Only one of us has to want to end the marriage. It’s not like we have assets or anything.”

Five’s shoulders slump, the weight of your words visibly crushing him. He looks down at the papers, his expression a mixture of regret and resignation. “I see. So this is really happening,” he says quietly, more to himself than to you.

You stand firm, though your heart aches with the finality of the moment. “Yes, it is,” you reply, trying to keep your voice steady.

He remains silent for a moment, then nods slowly. “Alright. I’ll sign them,” he says, his voice low and broken. He reaches for a pen and begins to sign, each stroke a painful reminder of what was lost. You watch him in silence, your emotions a tangled mess of anger, sadness, and relief. When he finishes, he slides the papers back to you, his gaze avoiding yours. You take them, feeling the finality of the act settle over you. “Thank you,” you say, your voice barely above a whisper. “I’ll take these to the lawyer.”

Five nods, not trusting himself to speak. As you turn to leave, you glance back one last time, your heart heavy with a mix of disbelief and sorrow. It's hard to think that the person standing before you was once the man you once loved so deeply. The reality that you had once been so intertwined with this person, now feels surreal.

As you're making your way back to your bedroom, you bump into Diego. He glances at the papers in your hands and raises an eyebrow. “You made it official, huh?” he asks, his tone a mix of curiosity and empathy.

You nod, trying to keep your composure. “Yeah, Just gotta take them to the lawyer.” Diego pauses, then asks, “Who’s the lawyer you’re going to?”

You look at him curiously but provide the name. Diego nods thoughtfully. “Is he any good? I mean,” he says, running a hand through his hair, “I’m, you know, looking for someone so Lila and I can separate.”

Your eyes widen in surprise. “Oh, yeah, he’s good. Really professional and straightforward.” Diego gives a relieved nod. “Yeah, guess I’ll pay him a visit soon. Thanks for the info.” He pats your shoulder lightly before heading off toward his room.

As Diego walks away, you head back to your own room, feeling the weight of the day pressing heavily on your shoulders. The prospect of ending things with Five and the thought of Diego’s own separation weigh on your mind.

You settle into your room, seeking a moment of solitude. The silence around you is both soothing and suffocating, a stark contrast to the chaos of the past few days. As you start packing your things, the task feels oddly cathartic, each item folded and placed into boxes representing a step toward closing this painful chapter of your life.

The process is slow and deliberate. You pick up a framed photograph from the nightstand, a snapshot of a happier time. The image of Five, with his easy smile and bright eyes, feels like a cruel reminder of what was once real. Is this really what’s best? you wonder, your heart aching as memories flood back. You question whether you’re making the right choice, feeling a pang of doubt.

You carefully fold a sweater, the fabric soft against your fingers. Maybe there’s a chance to fix this? You let the thought linger before shaking it away. The reality of Five’s betrayal, his affair with Lila, and the lies about the baby weigh heavily on you. How could you ever trust him again? The thought echoes through your mind, a painful but necessary reminder of why you’re doing this.

As you continue packing, you come across a small box of keepsakes—letters, trinkets from trips, and tokens of affection that once held so much meaning. Each item now feels like a relic of a past that no longer fits with your present reality. The sight of these mementos makes your chest tighten. Isn’t it sad how something that once meant so much can become a symbol of heartache? you think.

You pause to take a deep breath, your emotions a tumultuous mix of anger, sadness, and resignation. Five used to be someone you believed in, you remind yourself. He was full of promise, of dreams and plans. But those promises mean nothing now, shattered by his deceit and betrayal. The framed picture of him, still smiling, feels like a lie, a facade that crumbled the moment he chose to be with someone else.

No, you tell yourself firmly. Five is a liar and a cheater. He betrayed you in the worst possible way, and his apologies were nothing but empty words. You cannot ignore the evidence of his deceit, nor can you overlook the fact that he has continued to deceive, even in the aftermath of everything that’s happened.

The weight of the decision presses down on you. You think about the life you’ve built together, the dreams you shared, and how those dreams have been tarnished. This is the right decision, you insist to yourself. It may be painful, but staying in this house, in this relationship, would only prolong the suffering. You deserve better than to be someone’s second choice, a pawn in their misguided plans.

You take one last look around the room, the space that once felt like a sanctuary now stripped of its comfort. With a final sigh, you continue packing.

It’s been a few days since Five signed the divorce papers. The act itself felt monumental at the time, like a heavy door slamming shut on a chapter of your life. Yet, in the days that followed, you’ve felt more like you’re in limbo than moving forward. You’ve spent hours packing up your belongings, folding memories into cardboard boxes, trying to make sense of what’s worth keeping and what needs to be left behind.

You aren’t sure if Five is aware that you’re planning to leave the Hargreeves residence for good. He’s been keeping his distance since that final conversation, but whether it’s out of respect or a desire to avoid confrontation, you can’t tell. Part of you wonders if he even notices your absence from shared spaces or if he’s too wrapped up in his own guilt and shame to care. The uncertainty gnaws at you, and you hate it. You hate that after everything, you still find yourself thinking about him—about what he’s thinking, feeling, and doing.

It’s a cruel irony, you think, as you pull another sweater from the closet and fold it neatly. Despite all the betrayal and heartache, you’re still haunted by thoughts of him. You catch yourself wondering if he’s regretting his choices, if he’s truly sorry, or if he’s already moved on. You try to push these thoughts away, focusing instead on the task at hand, but it’s difficult. They keep creeping back in, uninvited and unwanted, like a song stuck in your head that you can’t seem to shake.

You glance around the room, now half-empty, and feel a pang of sadness. This space, once filled with warmth and the echoes of shared laughter, now feels hollow. It’s strange how quickly things can change—how a place that felt like home can become just a room, stripped of its meaning and significance. You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. Focus on what’s next, you remind yourself. Not on what’s been lost.

Still, as you move through the house, collecting the last of your things, you can’t help but feel a mix of emotions. Anger, sadness, frustration—all of them swirl inside you, a tempest that you’re struggling to keep contained. The thought of Five lingers at the back of your mind, a constant, nagging presence. Even now, after everything he’s done, you still find yourself wondering about him. It infuriates you.

Why do you still care what he thinks? Why does it still matter?

You want to be done with him, to close this chapter and move on with your life. But it’s not that simple. Love, even when tainted by betrayal, doesn’t just disappear overnight. It clings to you, lingers in the quiet moments, and makes itself known when you least expect it. You suppose that’s the hardest part—learning to let go, not just of the person, but of all the hopes and dreams that came with them.

As you fold the last of your clothes, you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. You look tired, worn out. This whole ordeal has taken a toll on you, both physically and emotionally. You brush a stray hair from your face and take a deep breath. Your’e doing the right thing, You deserve better.

You finish packing the box and tape it shut with a resolute sigh. You step back, surveying the room one last time. It feels surreal to think that this is it—that after everything, you’re really leaving. You try to focus on the future, on the fresh start that awaits you, but your thoughts keep drifting back to Five.

What will he do when he sees you’re gone? Will he even care? The questions twist in your mind, and you feel a fresh wave of frustration wash over you. Why does it still matter?  But deep down, you already know the answer.

Because you loved him. Because, despite everything, a part of you still does.

You shake your head, trying to clear your thoughts. You can’t dwell on that now. You have to move forward, to think about what’s best for you. And staying here, in this house filled with ghosts, isn’t it.

Grabbing the last of your things, you head toward the door. As you step into the hallway, you pause, half-expecting to see Five coming around the corner, to hear his voice calling after you. But there’s nothing—just silence. And for the first time in days, you feel a small, fragile sense of relief. Maybe this is the beginning of the end. Maybe it’s the start of something new.

With a deep breath, you make your way down the stairs, each step feeling like a step toward a new chapter. You don’t know what the future holds, but one thing is certain: it’s time to leave the past behind.

You make your way to the front door, a heavy box in your hands. Each step feels more final than the last, the weight of the moment sinking in. You’ve rented a moving van that’s parked out front, its back door open and ready to receive the remnants of a life you’re leaving behind. You’ve found a small, cheap, but nice apartment across town—a place to start over. It’s not much, but it’s perfect for what you need — an escape.

As you reach the door, you see Diego standing nearby. He catches sight of you struggling with the box and quickly steps forward, pulling the door open for you. “Thanks,” you mutter, trying to keep your voice steady, though it’s clear he can see the exhaustion and sadness etched on your face.

He nods, his expression softening with understanding. “You got any other boxes?” he asks, his voice low, but there’s a warmth in it—a kindness that you’ve come to appreciate over the past few days.

You hesitate for a moment, then nod. “Yeah, a few more in the living room,” you reply, shifting the box in your arms slightly. “I’ve been packing them up. This is the last of the stuff from upstairs.”

Diego takes the box from you effortlessly, holding it with ease. “I’ll help you carry them out,” he offers. “No sense in doing this alone.”

You give him a small, appreciative smile. “Thanks, Diego,” you say, feeling a bit of the weight on your shoulders lift—not just from the box, but from the gesture itself. He’s been a surprising source of comfort through all of this. Despite his own heartbreak, he’s been there for you, offering support without asking for anything in return.

Together, you walk back into the living room, where a few more boxes are stacked against the wall. Diego sets the box he’s carrying down and looks around. “You’re really leaving, huh?” he says, more as an observation than a question.

“Yeah,” you answer, a hint of sadness in your voice. “I think it’s for the best. Staying here… it’s just too hard.” Diego nods, understanding. “I get it,” he says softly. “Sometimes, you just need to get away from the place that hurt you, start fresh somewhere new.”

You glance at him, seeing the shared pain in his eyes. He’s been going through his own struggles, dealing with Lila’s betrayal and the fallout from it. You feel a strange sense of camaraderie with him—like you’re both navigating the same storm, even if in different boats.

He grabs another box, hefting it easily. “You know,” he begins, his tone thoughtful, “if you ever need anything… if you ever want to talk or, I don’t know, just get away from all this for a bit… I’m here.”

His words are sincere, and you feel a warmth in your chest. “Thank you, Diego,” you say again, your voice softer this time. “I really appreciate that.” He nods, giving you a small, reassuring smile. “No problem. We’ve got to stick together, right?”

You nod back, a faint smile tugging at your lips. It’s a small comfort, knowing that even in the midst of all this chaos, there’s someone who understands—someone who’s willing to help you through it.

Together, you and Diego carry the rest of the boxes out to the van. The sun is starting to set, casting a warm, golden light over everything. It almost feels like the world is giving you a gentle nudge forward, encouraging you to keep going.

As you load the last box into the van, you turn to Diego. “I guess this is it,” you say, trying to keep your voice steady, though there’s a hint of emotion in it.

Diego nods, looking at you with a mixture of empathy and encouragement. “Yeah, I guess it is,” he replies. “But remember, it’s not the end. It’s just… a new beginning.”

You take a deep breath, letting his words sink in. “A new beginning,” you repeat softly, nodding. “Yeah, I guess it is.”

He gives you a reassuring nod, then steps back, allowing you to close the van’s door. As you turn to leave, he raises a hand in a casual salute. “Take care of yourself, okay?”

You nod, feeling a mix of gratitude and sadness. “You too, Diego,” you say. “You too.”

With that, you climb into the driver’s seat of the van. You take one last look at the Hargreeves residence—the place that has been your home, your prison, your battlefield. Then, with a deep breath, you start the engine and drive away, leaving the past behind as you head toward whatever comes next.

You've settled nicely into your new apartment. The place is small but cozy, with just enough room for the few belongings you took with you. It’s quiet, too—so much quieter than you’re used to. The silence, however, kills you.

At the Hargreeves residence, there was always noise, always something happening to keep your mind from wandering. Whether it was Klaus losing his mind over something as simple as misplacing a bottle of booze, or Allison laughing with Luther over some inside joke. There was Viktor playing the violin in the early mornings, his melodies filling the house with a kind of soft serenity. Even Diego and Lila’s constant bickering had its own comforting rhythm—a mix of arguing and laughing that made the place feel alive. But now, in your new place, there’s none of that. Just silence. Heavy, all-encompassing silence.

And then, of course, there’s Five.

God, you miss him.

It hits you like a punch to the gut every time you think about it. You miss the way he would storm into a room, all sharp edges and quick wit, filling the space with his presence. The way his brow would furrow in concentration when he was deep in thought or working on one of his plans. The way his eyes would soften when he looked at you in those rare, unguarded moments when he allowed himself to be vulnerable.

You miss the sound of his voice, that low, smooth timbre that could shift from calm calculation to biting sarcasm in an instant. You miss the warmth of his touch, the way his hand would linger on your back, reassuring and steadying you. Even now, you can still feel the ghost of his touch, the way it sent shivers down your spine.

You hate how much you miss him. How, despite everything he’s done, every lie he’s told, every betrayal you’ve suffered, you still find yourself longing for him. You hate the way your heart aches whenever you think of him, a dull, persistent throb that refuses to go away.

It’s like there’s a part of you that can’t let go, no matter how hard you try. A part of you that still clings to the hope that maybe, just maybe, things could have been different. That maybe he could have chosen you, could have been honest with you, could have loved you the way you loved him.

But he didn’t.

And now, here you are, alone in this quiet apartment, with nothing but your thoughts and memories to keep you company.

You try to distract yourself, to fill the silence with noise. You turn on the TV, but it feels hollow and meaningless. You play some music, but it only reminds you of the songs you used to listen to with Five, the ones you danced to in the kitchen late at night, laughing and spinning around like you didn’t have a care in the world.

You try reading, but your mind keeps wandering back to him, to the way things used to be. To the life you thought you were building together.

Eventually, you give up and let the silence wash over you. You let yourself feel the weight of it, the emptiness that stretches out around you. You let yourself feel the pain, the loneliness, the heartache.

Because maybe that’s the only way you’ll ever be able to move on.

Maybe you just have to let yourself feel it all, let yourself grieve for what was and what could have been. Let yourself mourn the loss of a love that wasn’t meant to be.

And maybe, one day, the silence won’t feel so heavy. Maybe one day, it won’t hurt so much.

But for now, you just sit there, alone in your quiet apartment, and let yourself miss him.

God, you miss him.

You think about what could have been if Five hadn’t cheated.

It’s a thought that creeps up on you more often than you’d like to admit, slipping into your mind in the quiet moments when you’re alone with your thoughts. What if he hadn’t betrayed you? What if he hadn’t gone back to Lila, hadn’t lied to you about it, hadn’t gotten her pregnant?

You close your eyes and let yourself imagine it for a moment—a different reality, one where things didn’t fall apart. Where you and Five are still together, still living in the Hargreeves mansion with all its chaos and noise. You imagine waking up next to him, his arm draped lazily over you, his face soft and peaceful in sleep. You’d watch him for a few moments, taking in the sight of him before he stirs awake, his eyes blinking open to meet yours.

In this imagined reality, there’s no tension, no betrayal hanging between you. There’s only the love you felt for each other, warm and comforting like a blanket. You’d start your days together, sharing quiet mornings with cups of coffee and stolen kisses. Maybe you’d argue about something silly—Five always did have a way of getting under your skin with his stubbornness—but it would be the kind of argument that ends in laughter, in making up and teasing touches.

You’d work together on whatever problems or missions came up, a seamless team. Five would still be his intense, driven self, always planning, always strategizing, but there would be moments of softness, too. Moments where he’d let his guard down just for you, where he’d let you see the parts of himself he kept hidden from everyone else.

Maybe you’d go out sometimes, just the two of you. You’d walk through the city, hand in hand, sharing stories and secrets, feeling like the only two people in the world. And at night, you’d come home to the mansion, to the noise and the chaos, but it wouldn’t matter. Because you’d have each other.

You’d have a future together—a real future. One where you could imagine growing old with him, seeing the lines of age etch into his face, his hair going a little grayer, his body maybe slowing down a bit. But through it all, you’d still be by his side. Still his partner, his confidante, his love.

And maybe, just maybe, there would be a family. Not like the Hargreeves siblings—a real family, a small one, made up of just the two of you and maybe a child or two. You can almost see it: a little boy with Five’s intense eyes or a girl with your smile, running through the halls of the mansion, bringing a different kind of noise to the place. You and Five would watch them grow, teach them, protect them, love them with everything you had.

But then reality crashes back in, shattering the fragile dream.

Because that’s all it is—a dream. A fantasy of what could have been, what might have been if Five had made different choices. If he hadn’t cheated, hadn’t lied, hadn’t chosen Lila over you.

Your heart aches with the loss of it, with the realization that the life you’re imagining was never real and never could be. You think about the way Five used to look at you, the way he held you like you were his whole world. You remember the promises he made, the plans you made together.

And then you remember the betrayal. The lies. The nights you spent alone, wondering where he was, what he was doing. The sick feeling in your stomach when you found out about Lila, the way your world crumbled around you when you realized he’d been lying to you all along.

The dream fades, replaced by the stark reality of your new life. Alone in your quiet apartment, far away from the noise and the chaos of the Hargreeves mansion, far away from Five and all the pain he caused.

Maybe it’s better this way, you tell yourself. Better to be alone than to be with someone who could hurt you so deeply, who could betray you so completely.

But still, you can’t help but wonder. What if?

What if he hadn’t cheated?

What if he’d chosen you?

What if things could have been different?

You know you can’t change the past. You can’t go back and rewrite history, no matter how much you wish you could. But the thought lingers, a quiet whisper in the back of your mind, a reminder of what might have been.

And as much as you hate it, as much as you want to move on and leave it all behind, you know it’s going to take time. Time to heal, time to forget, time to let go of the what-ifs and the could-have-beens.

You sigh, feeling the weight of it all settle over you once more. You turn on the TV again, hoping for a distraction, but your mind keeps drifting back to him, to what you had, to what you’ve lost.

Maybe one day, you’ll be able to let go of the past and move on. Maybe one day, you’ll stop wondering what if.

But today isn’t that day.

Today, you still think about him. About what could have been. About the life you could have had together.

And you can’t help but miss him.

God, you miss him.

You sigh, the sound echoing softly in the silence of your new apartment. You glance around, taking in the sparse, unfamiliar surroundings. It’s not much, but it’s yours. The walls are bare, the furniture minimal—just the essentials. It still smells faintly of fresh paint and new beginnings, but there’s an emptiness to it that you can’t quite shake. The quiet is suffocating, a stark contrast to the constant noise and chaos of the Hargreeves mansion.

You lick your lips, your mouth suddenly dry. What’s he up to now? The thought slips into your mind before you can stop it. You hate that you’re still thinking about him, still wondering about him. But the truth is, you can’t help it. Five has been a part of your life for so long that it feels strange not to know where he is, what he’s doing. The absence of his presence is a void that you can’t seem to fill.

You imagine him back at the mansion, surrounded by the remnants of a life you once shared. Is he in his room, sitting in that old leather chair, sipping on whiskey and poring over some ancient book? Is he pacing the halls, his mind racing with plans and calculations, always thinking, always moving? Or is he in the kitchen, making himself a cup of coffee, his expression pensive as he stares out the window, lost in thought?

Maybe he’s with Lila. The thought makes your stomach twist. You can almost picture it: the two of them together, their heads close as they whisper and scheme. Maybe they’re arguing, as they often did, their voices raised, filled with that strange blend of love and hate that seemed to define their relationship. Or maybe they’re...you can’t even bring yourself to think about it. The idea is too painful, too raw.

You shake your head, trying to push the thoughts away. It doesn’t matter what he’s doing, you tell yourself firmly. He’s not your concern anymore. He made his choice. And you made yours. You chose to leave, to start over, to try and build a new life without him. But even as you tell yourself this, you can’t help but feel the ache of longing, the pull of what once was.

You wonder if he’s thinking about you too. If he regrets what happened. If he misses you. A part of you hopes he does—that he’s feeling even a fraction of the pain you’re feeling. But another part of you knows that it doesn’t change anything. Regret won’t undo the betrayal. Missing you won’t mend the trust that’s been broken.

You rise from the couch and move to the window, looking out over the city. It’s a gray day, the sky heavy with clouds. The world outside feels distant, almost dreamlike, as if it’s moving on without you. You wrap your arms around yourself, trying to ward off the chill that’s settled deep in your bones.

What is he doing right now? The question hangs in the air, unanswered. You imagine picking up the phone, dialing his number, hearing his voice on the other end. But you know that’s not an option. Not anymore. You’ve made your choice, and he’s made his. There’s no going back.

Still, the curiosity nags at you, the wondering. It’s a hard habit to break, the urge to know, to be connected. For so long, your life was intertwined with his, your days and nights filled with him. It’s strange to think of a future without that, without him.

You turn away from the window, forcing yourself to move, to do something. Anything to distract yourself from the thoughts swirling in your mind. You start unpacking a box, pulling out books and setting them on the shelf, trying to focus on the mundane task in front of you. But your mind keeps drifting back to him, to the life you had, to the life you could have had.

Is he thinking about me? you wonder again. Does he miss me? You shake your head, trying to clear the thoughts away. You know you need to let go, to stop wondering, to stop caring. But it’s easier said than done.

You pause, holding a book in your hands, staring at it without really seeing it. You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. It’s time to move on, you remind yourself. Time to focus on your own life, on your own future.

You haven’t heard from any of the Hargreeves since you left. The silence is heavy, a constant reminder of the void that has opened up in your life. They were the closest thing to a family you had, a group of misfits who somehow fit together. Now, without them, you feel unmoored, drifting in a sea of uncertainty.

Your thoughts turn to the commission—your former employer, and in some twisted way, another kind of family. That was a lifetime ago. You left that world behind, hoping for something better, something more. But now, standing alone in your small, empty apartment, you wonder if you made the right choice.

The reality of your situation sinks in. You don’t have a family outside of the Hargreeves. You were pulled into their orbit by Five, drawn into their chaotic world, and in a way, you found a place there. But now, you’re adrift again, and the loneliness is almost suffocating.

Your actual family, the one you were born into, is most likely not even in this timeline. The thought makes your chest tighten with a mix of frustration and sadness. You don’t even know where they are or if they’re alive. Time travel has its costs, and the disconnection from your roots is one of them. Even if you wanted to find them, there’s no way to do it without the commission’s help. And after everything that’s happened, going back there is the last thing you want.

You rub your temples, feeling a headache starting to form. The isolation is starting to wear on you. You’ve tried to fill your days with work, with unpacking, with anything that might distract you from the gnawing emptiness. But no matter what you do, the thoughts creep back in.

What would it be like to switch timelines? you wonder. To find a world where things turned out differently, where you and Five never crossed paths, or where he never cheated, and you lived out the life you once imagined together. But those thoughts are just fantasies, just as unreachable as the timeline they belong to. Without the commission’s technology, there’s no way to hop between realities.

Even if there was, you know it wouldn’t be as simple as that. Time and space are fragile, and messing with them comes with consequences. You’ve seen firsthand the damage that can be done by playing with the fabric of reality. And besides, running away to another timeline wouldn’t change what happened here. It wouldn’t heal the hurt or mend the trust that’s been broken.

You sit down on the edge of your bed, the weight of your thoughts pressing down on you. You feel more alone than you ever have, even more than when you first joined the commission, or when you first found yourself thrust into the chaos of the Hargreeves’ world. At least then, you had something to hold onto. Now, you feel like you’re grasping at air.

You sigh, “I need some air.”

You stand up, the heaviness in your chest making it difficult to breathe. The walls of your apartment feel like they’re closing in on you, the silence suffocating. The emptiness is overwhelming. You need to get out, to clear your head, to find some way to make sense of the mess your life has become.

Grabbing your coat from the hook by the door, you slip it on and head outside. The afternoon sun is high in the sky, casting warm rays that offer a sharp contrast to the cold, stagnant atmosphere of your apartment. The city streets are alive with activity—people bustling about, cars honking, vendors calling out to passersby. The noise feels overwhelming, but also oddly comforting. It reminds you that life goes on, even when yours feels like it’s standing still.

You start walking, not really sure where you’re going, just needing to move, to escape the thoughts that have been plaguing you. Your footsteps blend into the hum of the city, lost among the chatter and footsteps of others. You walk past busy storefronts and colorful cafes, the scent of freshly baked bread and brewing coffee filling the air. You pull your coat tighter around you, though the air is mild. The weight of your thoughts is what brings the chill.

What am I doing? you think to yourself. You feel a surge of frustration bubbling up inside you. How did I end up here?

As you wander, you find yourself heading towards a familiar place—the park where you used to go with Five. It was a favorite spot, a place where you’d both sit and talk for hours, sharing dreams and plans, back when the future felt certain. The memories are bittersweet now, but some part of you feels drawn to it, as if it holds some answers you can’t quite reach.

You reach the park and make your way to a bench near the fountain, one you remember sitting on many times before. The sound of the water trickling into the basin is calming, a soft, soothing melody amidst the noise of the city. You sit down, staring out at the small pond, watching the ducks glide across the surface, the sunlight glinting off the water.

The afternoon sun casts long shadows across the ground, and the park is filled with people—joggers, families, couples walking hand in hand. You watch them, feeling a strange mix of envy and detachment. They all seem so carefree, so unaware of the weight that you carry.

You close your eyes, taking a deep breath, trying to ground yourself in the moment. But then, out of the corner of your eye, you catch a glimpse of something—someone—that makes your heart skip a beat. You turn your head slightly, your breath catching in your throat.

It’s Five.

He’s across the park, sitting at a small outdoor café, a cup of coffee in front of him. His head is down, focused on a book in his hands, his expression calm and absorbed. He looks different out here, in the daylight, without the familiar surroundings of the Hargreeves mansion. More relaxed, almost like the man you fell in love with. You feel a pang in your chest as you watch him, a mix of longing and hurt.

What is he doing here? Does he come here often?

You hesitate, torn between the urge to approach him and the instinct to turn and walk away. You know that seeing him will only reopen old wounds, but some part of you can’t help but be drawn to him, like a moth to a flame. You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself, to calm the racing of your heart.

He looks up from his book suddenly, as if sensing your presence, and his eyes meet yours across the park. For a moment, time seems to stand still. You can see the surprise in his eyes, the flicker of recognition, followed by something else—something softer, almost wistful.

You’re not sure what to do, whether to stay or go, whether to speak or remain silent. Your feet feel rooted to the ground, unable to move in either direction. Five raises his hand in a small, hesitant wave, his expression cautious, almost hopeful.

You swallow hard, your emotions a tangled mess. You don’t know what to say, what to do. You’ve imagined this moment so many times, and yet now that it’s here, you’re at a loss. You can feel your heart pounding in your chest, your breath coming in shallow bursts.

Finally, you take a step forward, then another, your movements slow and uncertain. Five’s eyes remain on you, watching your approach with a mix of anticipation and trepidation. You stop a few feet away from him, close enough to see the small details of his face—the faint lines of worry, the sadness in his eyes.

“Hey,” he says softly, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Hey,” you reply, your own voice trembling with emotion.

There’s a long pause, a silence that stretches out between you, filled with all the things you want to say but don’t know how. You can see the regret in his eyes, the apology he’s trying to convey without words.

“Do you…want to sit?” he asks, gesturing to the chair across from him.

You hesitate for a moment, then nod slowly, pulling out the chair and sitting down. The distance between you feels both vast and intimate, a strange mix of familiarity and distance.

Five looks down at his hands, then back up at you, his expression pained. “I didn’t expect to see you here,” he admits. “I’ve been coming here a lot lately…thinking.”

You nod, not trusting yourself to speak. You don’t know what to say, what to feel. Part of you wants to lash out, to demand answers, to make him feel the hurt you’ve been carrying. But another part of you just wants to understand, to find some kind of closure.

“I miss you,” he says suddenly, his voice breaking the silence. “Every day. I think about you, about us. About everything I’ve ruined.”

Your heart clenches at his words, his voice full of that quiet sincerity that used to melt your resolve. But now, all it does is stir the anger that’s been simmering beneath the surface since the day you found out. You want to believe him, but the wounds are still too fresh, the betrayal still too raw.

“Miss me?” you scoff, your voice rising, unable to keep the bitterness out of your tone. “You don’t get to miss me, Five. You lost that right when you decided to screw around with Lila. And what about your baby? You want to talk about what you’ve ruined? Look around. You did this. You chose this.”

Five's face contorts with pain, but he pushes through, his voice trembling. “Lila… she lied about the baby.”

The words hit you like a physical blow, leaving you momentarily stunned. The sharp edge of your anger is blunted by shock.

You shake your head in disbelief. “So the baby never existed? She lied?”

Five nods slowly, his eyes filled with deep sorrow. “Yes. There was no baby. She told me it was a lie to manipulate me, to keep me from leaving.”

He looks down, his face falling further. He takes a sip of his coffee, making a face at the taste. He was always very particular about his coffee, and clearly, this one didn't meet his standards.

You feel overwhelmed, the weight of his confession settling heavily on your shoulders. “I—I don’t know what to say, Five.”

He shakes his head, a mixture of resignation and frustration in his eyes. “It doesn’t matter,” he says softly. You sigh, your mind rushing, Should you even say this?

“If I’m being honest, I guess that I’ve missed you too.”

Five’s expression shifts, a flicker of hope and disbelief in his eyes. He seems to struggle with his emotions, clearly taken aback by your admission. For a moment, the tension between you both eases slightly, though the weight of everything that’s happened still lingers heavily.

“You’ve missed me?” Five asks, his voice barely audible. There’s a vulnerability in his tone that makes your heart ache even more.

You shake your head, “Don’t let that get to your head. We were together for years. Of fucking course I missed your dumbass.”

Five’s face falls slightly, his vulnerability giving way to a trace of hurt. He opens his mouth to respond but seems to reconsider, his words catching in his throat. He simply nods, a resigned look settling over him.

You continue, trying to keep your tone steady despite the flood of emotions. “Don’t take that the wrong way. It’s not about wanting to fix things or go back to how we were. It’s just… hard to completely erase what we had.”

Five’s eyes are focused on the swirling coffee in his cup, his fingers drumming on the mug. “I understand,” he says quietly, as if trying to make sense of everything himself. A heavy silence stretches between you, filled with unspoken words and lingering emotions.

You shift uncomfortably, your mind racing. Was coming over here a mistake? you wonder. The weight of the conversation feels overwhelming, and you start to question whether reopening this wound was the right choice.

Breaking the silence, Five sighs heavily. “She was kicked out of the house,” he says, his voice tinged with a mix of relief and sadness.

You look up, startled. “Lila was kicked out?” The shock is evident in your voice. You had imagined many possible scenarios, but this wasn’t one of them.

Five nods, his expression unreadable. “Yeah. After everything that happened… Diego couldn’t take it anymore. He asked her to leave.”

You pause, your mind racing. After a moment, you ask, “Do you not have feelings for her anymore?”

Five turns his gaze to the side, his face a mixture of frustration and regret. “I… I’m not sure. I fucked up, really fucking bad. I don’t think I deserve to feel any way about anything at this point.”

Five turns his gaze to the side, his face a mixture of frustration and regret. “I… I’m not sure. I fucked up, really fucking bad. I don’t think I deserve to feel any way about anything at this point.”

The honesty in his voice stings. You want to believe him, and you almost think you can see the sincerity in his eyes. But he’s lied to you before, What does this matter?

You sigh, trying to keep your voice steady. “I’m glad you’re finally starting to become self-aware. It’s a start, at least.” You look at him, trying to gauge if there's any real change in him or if this is just another layer of his guilt.

Five shifts uncomfortably, his eyes avoiding yours. “I wish things could be different.”

“I do too,” you say, your voice soft as you look away.

The silence stretches out, filled with the weight of unspoken regrets and shattered dreams. You take a deep breath, fighting back the emotions threatening to overwhelm you. "I should go," you finally say, turning to leave.

Five nods, his face a mix of sorrow and resignation. As you walk away, you feel the sting of finality in every step. The distance between you grows, and with it, the painful realization that some wounds may never fully heal.

It really fucking sucks what Six Years, Five Months and Two days can do to a person.

Final Author's Notes: Starting off, I want to thank everyone for loving this fic. This fic was the first time I've really wrote angst -- and I had no idea that I would love writing it so much.

I had come up with the idea for this literally the day I posted part one -- but the ending was completely different. Reader was supposed to stay with Five and work things out, but after seeing how people reacted -- I decided to adapt and change some things. I really like how this ended, (UNLIKE THE SHOW)

and given that I will be writing a happy Five Fic / oneshot coming within the next few days bc season 4 was fucked up :P

[highdio]

DIO and the Plan for Heaven

I've received a lot of asks for my take on how the "plan for Heaven" in Part 6 relates back to Dio as a character. Some of these included theories and asked whether I agreed with their points. The best way to for me reply is to walk through some misconceptions I've seen repeated about the Heaven plan and at the same time give my own views on how the Stand ability that Pucci enacts in Part 6 can be reconciled with what we know about Dio in canon. Spoiler: IMO the form that the Heaven ability ultimately takes - a universal reset that grants all of humanity knowledge of their preordained fate in advance and down to the micro-level of individual occurances - is not necessarily the outcome that Dio predicted or even desired.

1) The "Heaven" that Pucci enacted in Part 6 is not derived from a subconscious psychological need for security or safety on Dio's part.

This seems basic but I've seen this in comments: the belief that the Stand ability Pucci unlocks through Dio's "heaven" formula relates back to Dio's own need for security and peace of mind. This panel specifically gets talked about, in both discussions regarding Heaven and of Dio's larger worldview:

Of course here Dio is describing "human" needs. Dio doesn't consider himself human and doesn't include himself among those seeking these comforts. Importantly, neither does Araki:

"From perspective of the world in which living creatures naturally prey upon the weak, what DIO is doing is the correct thing. It's out of line with society's norms though, which were created to make it easier for humans to survive. Considered from the worldview of the "Law of the Jungle" [弱肉強食], DIO is acting normally. …People might say I'm anti-social when I say this, but, in a sense, DIO is someone I admire (lol)." (Jump Remix Vol.11 (March 2002), my translation).

Asked to describe his feelings on Dio, Araki heads straight into setting up a direct opposition between "society" - which provides the security, comfort and safety for its participants that Dio describes in the above panel - and Dio, who lives by what Araki calls an "anti-social" code unconcerned with these comforts. It's central enough of a character trait for Araki to say all this unprompted in response to a general ask about DIO.

So anyone claiming that Dio's Heaven plan came out of a need, conscious or not, to allay his own insecurities and for his own peace of mind ignores the fact that Araki wrote Dio with an entirely contrary mindset.

It's also worth considering the context of the panel, since it will relate to a discussion of whether Dio even wants a world where people know outcomes in advance. Dio is describing humankind's need for comfort and security in an attempt to convince Polnareff to submit and to continue to serve him. Araki ties all of this to fear: Polnareff must either give into his fear and resign himself to a comfortable life of submission or he must overcome his fear and reject those comforts.

ofc Dio is playing a game with Polnareff at the same time, using time-stop assisted sleight-of-hand to convince Polnareff that his own body is physically submitting, unconsciously descending the same two stairs. This game, where fear and submission are directly tied to the promise of comfort and security, presents choosing the comforts of society as the weaker, non-heroic path. tl;dr, accepting the security that Dio describes in that panel is a bad thing. Keep this fact in the back of your mind.

If Dio isn't motivated by a need for security, and instead lives according to rules of the natural world, maybe Dio wanted a universe where all of humanity knows its fate in advance for practical reasons, i.e., it would make humans resigned to their fates and simple to rule over?

Again, we need to consider what, exactly, this would mean for Dio.

2) Dio did not intend to create a world where all of humanity became resigned to its fate as a means of ruling over mankind, because this would remove all the pleasure of accumulating and exerting power.

I've discussed this before: Dio actually likes people who take the most arduous path, seemingly rebelling against their own security and comfort. While it is possible that Dio wanted humans to be more docile, this would definitely take away one of Dio's favorite hobbies: subjecting humans to extreme psychological pressure to see how they react, something Dio indulges in regularly. The Heaven achieved by Pucci (a universe where everything is known in advance by its participants) would mean that everything - from that lady sacrificing herself so her baby could be spared in Part 1 to Hol Horse trying to shoot Dio in the back - would be robbed of all dramatic tension. A knowable universe is a boring one. Dio as an immortal would be highly aware of this. And we know that Dio loves a good fight (Araki draws Dio at his most alive and expressive during direct physical confrontation) and loves an opponent who fights back (it's the reason he moves from disdain to respect for Jonathan over the course of Part 1 and the reason he "realizes he likes" Hol after Hol's rebellion). A known universe changes the very nature of "fighting back." When opponents know the outcome of a fight before it starts, combat is reduced to simply going through the motions.

In short, Pucci's universe makes it too easy for a guy who is all about the drama of testing and transcending limits. It would take all the pleasure out of being Dio.

This is where the value judgment I discussed earlier comes in, the one where the comfortable path is also the easy one, and where choosing security means choosing resignation and cowardace. How is it possible then to assert that Dio wants a universe, an eternity, where everything is resignation? It isn't, and he doesn't.

(Here I should point out the obvious fact that the Dio and Pucci flashbacks in Part 6 take place, from a timeline perspective, concurrent with Part 3. While it's surprisingly often that people attribute what they perceive as a difference in Dio between Parts 3 and Part 6 as an easing or maturing in Dio's outlook over time and reflection, there can be no evolution or softening in Dio's thinking between Parts 3 and 6 because there is no time gap. Dio's words in Part 3, if we take them at face value (since sometimes he lies), reflect what he's thinking at the same time he's devising his plan for "Heaven.")

Instead, there's a telling scene early in Part 3 where Dio discusses that "standing at the top of the World" means overcoming fear:

Now consider the Heaven ability that Pucci unlocks at the end of Stone Ocean within the context of this monologue as well as the Polnareff stairway scene. Knowing your fate - the ultimate goal of the universal reset - isn't overcoming fear, it's having the hardship of fear removed. "Fear" in the above passage results from the experience of failure and the reflexive bodily reaction during future struggles to the possibility that one will fail again. When all is known in advance, this fear is removed. The possibility for "conquering" fear that Dio describes to Enya is likewise removed altogether.

Additionally, in Part 6 and while discussing "Heaven" with Pucci, Dio directly states that "true happiness cannot be attained… by being the ruler of the human race," contrasting this with the true victory of "getting to see Heaven." This dialog yet again gives the lie to an assertion that Dio wants universal precognition as a practical means to easily dominate all of humanity.

3) IMO Dio did not know what form the "Heaven" ability would take, just that it would be an OP, transcendent power.

I've talked about this before too but one of the coolest elements to the Heaven formula is how gnostic it is. Some people just ignore this fact, but it's critically important to look at how Araki chose to characterize the "formula for Heaven." 14 cryptic words, the "souls of 36 sinners," a specific latitude and longitude, the phases of the moon. This is esoteric, occult-type stuff. Add to this Dio's own description of how the destruction of his stand will "give birth to something entirely new":

This language is extremely important. It seems the critical detail that's missing from the formula of heaven is what shape exactly the "heaven" ability will take. The outcome of Dio's heaven plan is missing from the formula because that outcome - "whatever is born" - will be revealed through the process. This is precisely why "courage" is needed: this is a leap of faith into the unknown.

It stands to reason that Dio himself would be uncertain what power would be unlocked through the formula. After all, this theme is a throughline throughout Dio's life: Dio constantly does stuff where the outcome is both unknown and radical. Using the stone mask, taking and assimilating Jonathan's body, powering up on Joseph's blood: Dio's pursuit of power consistently leads him to make "leaps" where the outcome is knowable only as "something new" and something transcendent. So it's not just plausible that Dio didn't know what new ability would emerge with the destruction of his Stand, it's in character. And of course, unknowability and the need for "courage" in the face of an unforeseen outcome directly mirrors Dio's assertion in Part 3 that "the one to stand at the top of the World" is the one who "conquers Fear."

4) Pucci has as much a role as Dio in shaping the form that the "Heaven" ability ultimately takes.

If you ignore all of the above and instead assert that Dio had his plan fully mapped out and specifically envisioned a future where he and all of humanity were disavowed of the illusion of free will - comforted by going through the motions of a fate they had already lived through - then Pucci himself becomes unimportant. The character gets reduced to a simple cog or a lackey, carrying out the gruntwork of an absent master architect.

Instead, imo the specific backstory and worldview that Pucci brings to his and Dio's relationship is the key element that shapes the form that "Heaven" eventually takes. After all - this point is not debatable - it's Pucci himself, not Dio, who seems most in need of the comfort, the certainty and security, that a universe in which all know their fate would provide. Pucci's entire backstory is built around the trauma of unforeseen consequence. The reset universe really is, then, the realization of Pucci's own personal "Heaven."

Please keep in mind that Dio did not expect to die and fully expected to be the one to enact the Heaven formula himself. Of course Jotaro had something to say about this, so instead we get Dio's disciple and "trusted friend" executing the formula.

(Add to that the obvious, meta fact that Araki developed the "plan for Heaven" specifically for Part 6. The plan (or even the notion of "getting to Heaven") isn't mentioned in any prior part, and isn't part of Dio's story anywhere prior. In the true "meta" sense (e.g., the real-life production conditions surrounding the fictional work), the Heaven plan is written by Araki for Part 6 and as the major driver of Pucci's story, inseparable from the character. Araki tightly tailored Pucci's backstory around the idea that bad twists of fate sow profound misery and that knowledge of what fate has in store can allay inevitable suffering, the premise of the universal reset. Even Pucci being a priest has obvious synergy with the concept of "Heaven." Without Part 6, without Pucci, the heaven storyline never gets written. And within the story itself, without Pucci the formula to get to "Heaven" is never enacted.)

All of this is to say that discussions that try to link the reset universe and resultant universal precognition too closely to Dio's own personality, his backstory and his philosophies ignore the fact that Heaven was enacted by the gravitational convergence of two individuals who each brought something to the formula. Dio strongly shaped the course that Pucci's life took and Pucci in turn shaped the form that "Heaven" took.

[weeb-polls-with-pip]

Autistic Anime Boys Prelims - Propaganda Division - Group 2

Propaganda:

Kyouya -

"what's there to say? you know him. you love him. vote kyoya."

Rinnosuke -

"Rinnosuke Morichika lives in an overly-cluttered curio shop, and has a special interest in making magical inventions. Since he doesn’t live in a modern setting— but a pocket dimension slightly disconnected to the outside world— whenever a modern item shows up in his shop via spiriting away, he can obsess over it for extended periods of time. He is quite blunt without realizing it, even to people he cares for. He also has a special ability to generally understand the name and use of any item he touches (though this backfires sometimes, he thought a Gameboy was a doomsday device once)."

Fuuta -

"okay look theres so many fucking signs hes autistic. he cannot tell tone and often doesn't know how to react to stuff which is a major point in his character id say. he was asked if he remembered his victim's name (hes a murderer. oops!) and his response was something along the lines of "Of course I do. I saw it everywhere." because he did not understand that they wanted to know what it was since it wasnt directly stated. im convinced that hoodies are a comfort object of his because i genuinely have not seen him without one except for one time. also hes canonically a chronically online twitter user. also he gets really passionate about his interests. also not really related but everyone in the fandom agrees hes transgender but no one can agree on what way. ive seen every single gender hc for this dude. vote kajiyama fuuta for this sopping wet poor little meow meow of a man."

Hansum -

"He's just a very odd and strange lad, can't remember names well, is an alien (mild spoiler), he's very popular, obsessed with Doritos and becomes their mascot, just refers to everyone as humans which is a mood, and is completely socially oblivious."

Miyuki -

"Relatable neurodivergent-Gifted Child syndromeTM case with all the superiority-inferiority complex that results. A chronic show-off and scheming strategist with a lowkey hopeless romantic dramatic aspect to him, silly cool and pathetic in a very hilarious way. Shirogane has a trademark glare purely thanks to his eyebags as he runs on coffee everyday having to support his family with multiple jobs in addition to class, on top of student council president duties. He's kind and an obsessive perfectionist who fills his entire wall with the weirdest motivational posters. Shirogane is very devoted to his love. He likes penguins (Kaguya and him is peak asd4asd and bi4bi btw)."

Kirito -

"He's autistic and bisexual as hell, and there's a good bit of trans coding in him 🥺

Autism coding: Bro's literally got a sword and swordfighting hyperfixation where, despite playing a game that focuses around guns, he still chooses to use a sword!! We also see him completely missing Asuna's flirting at first (he tells her she could have just checked her friendlist to make sure he was alive, in response to her tracking him down to see him)

Bi coding: Dual wielding swords is literally a euphemism in Japan for bisexuality; and Kirito initially tries to hide the fact he can dual wield out of fear of how the people he's close to will view him (and once he reveals it to them and they accept it, he begins to be more open about it.) Also in the Underworld arc he becomes very close with Eugeo to the point of living with him (and sharing a bed on occasion), and there are several parallels between Eugeo and Asuna, and they're so gay for each other that despite the anime having only a toned down version of it, they're still very affectionate (Also of note is that Eugeo is the only guy in SAO canon to consistently have a 'laying in bed with Kirito' talk CG in the spinoff games) (There's more but it's spoilers and this is a shortened version)

Trans coding: Kirito is very trans coded in the light novel (which shows Kirito's thoughts in much greater detail than the anime) Aincrad arc reveals that Kirito explicitly Does Not Like his real face, and dislikes how feminine it looks (he mentions that its led to him and his cousin being mistaken for sisters) And in Phantom Bullet arc, he's visibly uncomfortable at being mistaken for a girl due to his avatar's appearance, and in response to being misgendered he briefly panics and checks to make sure his chest flat (at least in the anime adaptation) 🏳��‍⚧️"

Shirou -

"Has one goal in life and ignores almost everything in favor of trying to fulfil that goal."

Keith -

"Speaks in a way that is seen as weird and has mannerisms others think is funny. He struggles with not being taken seriously by others because of this and many of the things others say goes over his head. He struggles to connect with other people because of these things. His entire arc in the second film is about him deciding that the people who don't accept him for who he is aren't worth it and that he's going to continue being himself."

Junpei -

"for other fans of this series, I know the more obvious representation here may be Luou, Junpei is So Good. his special interest is ballet and he has so many hangups involving how his family sees him and how other boys his age interpret him to the point that his idea of masculinity is extremely narrow and he enforces social rules on himself to mask and keep people from realizing that he loves something that Isn't Manly. he misinterprets social cues and takes things literally, like assuming that when Miyako asked him to dance with her she meant Right This Minute rather than as a pair in the studio. for some reason the point where he cuts his hair super short to prove his devotion to ballet is also sticking with me, I think maybe it's the combination of the way it's normal for boys/men in Japan to do that, yet Junpei didn't realize that kind of attitude/action didn't suit ballet at all? he wasn't aware that the context was completely different. Junpei also doesn't act or pretend very well, he's gotta put his whole entire ass into his roles, which he then proceeds to get TOO into and cause a lot of trouble, without giving too much away! he's really relatable to me as someone who's socially anxious but very skilled at masking, and seeing him become more comfortable with himself and start to show how he really feels is so inspiring to me."

Kazuma -

"He may be (wildly) misguided but his intentions are good kinda! He’s just the Guy of all time idk how to explain it."

[real-fire-emblem-takes]

thinking about the fe games w/ routes (fates and three houses specifically but probably others idfk)

i think there needs to be more tragedy there. or opportunities for it i guess? or that fire emblem has to make unique death quotes for characters in general man

death in fire emblem feels so blah for me. more of an inconvenience than in other media. like when im playing DnD and an npc i love dies it isnt "man that sucks. anyway" but even w characters i love in fire emblem its just "man do i wanna reset the chapter for this that was so lame"

make death and especially betrayal related deaths Hurt More.

lets say youre byleth. youre teaching the black eagles, yay! but you have a b support with claude. you and claude are good buddies, maybe you just like claude as a character or its accidental because of x y z does Not matter. either way you are one of claudes closest friends. then the war starts, and you choose to side with a woman claude sees as a future tyrant (or at the very least a driven warmonger who might crush the alliance underneath her boot). imagine the hurt. the absolute fucking agony for claude.

and for byleth! byleth wakes up and their friend is gone. on another side, unreachable, 5 years of emotional distance *yawning* in front of them.

and then they reunite in the midst of battle, weapons drawn. theyve both come so far and have goals they *have* to achieve.

"I don't want this."

too bad. if you roll over, you get a game over because you fuckin failed the route. or you have to make someone else kill claude because sumn sumn mechanically you have a 0% hit rate bc of that b support. you cant do it.

too bad. claude cant run away, hes the last line of defense for a place hes responsible for. if he leaves what is he? a coward? a turncoat? would he have to believe in edelgard's future? would he have to slay his own allies, friends, the people who relied on him?

he cant. you cant.

he begs you to reconsider. you cant.

as he falls he reaches out a hand. you kneel beside him as he says a few things. calls this whole battle a clever gambit, praises your cunning in using effective weaponry, etc etc. but his voice is weaker. theres no option to spare him, you couldnt spare any *other* unit, could you? couldn't spare hilda. cant spare claude.

he mentions sometimes dreaming of the monastery. the food was good, right? hope the foods good in the future you build with edelgard. hope you name a town after him, thatd be fun. dont get stupid, teach, dont join him too soon. maybe he'll even wait for ya. keep a seat warm.

(fire emblem unit death sound)

then also: units in your own army.

lets say youre playing black eagles. its nearish endgame but not too close so i dont say any spoilers, but regardless bernadetta and yuri have an A support. they might get hitched postgame man, you havent done the A support of anyone else w those two. its a rough battle, your healer is severely low on psychic uses, you sold all your fucking vulneraries because you thought dorothea was more of a beast than she is. its dire.

unexpected sniper crit. yuri is on 0 hp.

bernadetta is within 5 tiles and instead of yuri's canned death quote, bernie interjects with one of the most well voiced anguished screams youve ever fucking heard. on the next turn, bernie gets +50 hit *and* crit on that enemy, and if she kills it the rest of the scene plays.

bernie is holding yuri, one of her few friends in her hellish fucking life. hes not gonna make it, she knows that, but shes still gonna try. shes wailing and begging him to stay like she wished she had all those fucking years ago, shes babbling about all the things he'll miss if he goes, all the things shes planned for them to do now that shes brave enough to leave her bedroom. he cuts her off to laugh. now is when she gets brave and honest with her feelings? when hes dying? oh bernie come on. he wraps an arm around her shoulders and pulls her in for a hug, kissing her temple like an old boyfriend and not a quiet yearning crush. he murmurs that hes glad she left her bedroom. that hes glad she can see the world beyond what abuse happened to her behind closed doors. that she'll find some other person to hold in his stead, one who wont so rudely get his blood on her battle leathers. one who wont leave her time and time again like he has. she wails into his shoulder as she drops the scraps of cloth she had been trying to use to stop his bleeding and just holds her dying friend.

(fire emblem unit death sound)

if death felt like An Event and not An Inconvenience i'd play with permadeath more man. make me sad fire emblem youre so shit at it

.

[bonzos-number-1-fan]

TMAGP 30 Thoughts: Concrete Evidence

Our finale is upon us. Albeit more of a slightly extended episode than it is double-length. It's more like 10 minutes longer than a standard episode and while I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing I do think it sort of sucks to set expectations and then not deliver on it. Especially when it was a Kickstarter stretch goal. I worry the epilogue is going to feel like the last 10 minutes sliced off of this one too. Either way it was a great episode all in all.

Spoilers for episode 30 below the cut.

This episode follows the classic late in a season episode formula. By which I mean lots of it is really explicit about what it means but some bits are the sort of thing I like to pull out and analyse. So a lot of the plot beats aren't things I need to cover but there are lots of quotes I do want to dig into. Starting with Sam and Celia on the train, which is a real culmination of Celia's general game plan so far. While it's made abundantly clear by the end of this episode her manipulation of the characters has been a fairly constant part of her characterisation so far.

CELIA It sounded like you’d have gone anyway. At least this way I can make sure it all goes to plan. SAM (small laugh) There’s a plan? CELIA Besides, you’re not the only one who’s curious.

That quote really sums up her whole deal this season IMO. She's always been pushing characters to do one thing or another. As soon as her intentions are brought up she'll avoid the question and move the conversation on to something else. It's been happening basically since she was introduced and I'm really glad to see it built up into something satisfying.

Man, poor Colin. I was hoping we'd get some sort of escalation of his storyline this episode but it looks like that'll be more of a season 2 affair. Similarly that looks to be where Gwen is headed too. She's finally got the job she's after but as Lena warns, and as we're all well aware, she's woefully unprepared for it. Mr. Bonzo, Ink5oul, Lady Mowbray, and Needles will all likely play larger roles in season 2 because of it.

I'm not going to get into the details much but I did really enjoy the Custodian's statement. Lots of fun vibes and little details with his character all around. I would've liked to see him stick around in all honestly and crop up again. His fate is quite interesting though because it's showing a lot more from [Error]'s abilities than has previously been showcased. She made Drowning Victim drown but her statement was all about drowning so that's not too crazy, this is much more tangentially related and a far more extreme effect on the victim. Hard to know how much that means but it might be worth pointing out.

The Hilltop Centre is a lot different to what I was expecting. It seems much more like a supernatural hub than the prior incidents concerning it let on. I'm wondering if this is unique to this universe or a constant throughout them. Without getting too much into the details it could be fallout from TMA's ending but this wound that Celia talks about strikes me as a little odd in that context. There was seemingly only one of them at Hilltop. Unless the world Celia came from is also where Darrien 3 came from, as he arrived from that point, then that wound is drawing in everyone from other realities. However if that's the case then there are some fairly major questions about the metaphysical underpinnings of it. It got "better" when Sam was thrown in but there are also clearly a lot of other people coming through as the Custodian mentions.

It wasn’t all death though. Sometimes people… arrived. Not often, but every now and then you’d find some thin, emaciated soul wandering around, lost and confused.

It wasn't just Darrien 3 that came through, multiple people arrived in the same manner. A manner we know isn't how Celia got here because her reaction to that incident was that it wasn't the same. So is this wound just an amalgamation of all the imbalances from all the various universes? We know why Celia wants to "balance" this because it's trying to pull her back, hence the "sleepwalking", and it would eventually win out. How it works on a larger scale is sort of hard to say. It seems like it will just be there forever until everyone who's not meant to be in this universe has left. That seems like a very tall order based on what we've seen. Speaking of balance.

The institute, alchemy, all of it. It’s all about balance. Dua prima, four elements, seven planets, it’s all the same. You’ve got to keep things balanced.

This is a very interesting quote. There are two possible interpretations for this and I'm not sure it's intended to be seen that way. Each of the things Celia lists here is either correctly numbered or off by one. So she might be saying that these are things for which balance is important, or she's saying these are unbalanced things and need correcting. Either works well with her point here.

Dua prima is not really actually a thing as such and is both the biggest indicator she's talking in terms of them being off by one, but also the biggest indicator she's not. Paracelsus' tria prima is a fairly important concept in alchemy as a whole and if you've read more than a few of my posts you'll have seen me mention it. In short sulphur, salt, and mercury are representative of three fundamental properties. Combustibility, permanence, and fluidity respectively and in addition represent the body, the soul, and the spirit. Paracelsus didn't arrive at this idea on his own however and it's largely an addition to Jābir ibn Ḥayyān's work. Jābir, or Geber as he's sometimes known, had this theory of metals that stated all metals were a mix of sulphur and mercury. Additionally sulphur is associated with masculine qualities and the sun, while mercury is associated with feminine ones and the moon. It's not ever called dua prima so far as I'm aware but you could reasonably make that argument.

This same logic can be applied to her mention of the four elements in which fire, air, earth, and water would make up a classical set of four but can also be considered off by one as aether is a later yet—still classical—addition. Alchemy has seven "planets" each with a corresponding metal but our modern definition puts seven off by one as we would say there are eight. However with all that being said I'm more inclined to believe she meant these things were balanced as they are. I said that the dua prima was also the best indicator of that and for the reason why we've got to go back to episode 19.

Doing mummy and daddy Stasi proud, I’m sure. Not that anyone cares as long as it all balances, right? Not too much mercury or the world ends, not too much sulfur or we all go mad…

At the time I said this was two of the three primes of tria prima, which it is, but in this context it doesn't appear that the lack of salt was an omission. Salt just might not be a part of it at all. It's fairly hard to say exactly how important this will be though. It certainly seems quite relevant but it's also something they might be making up rather than anything more firmly rooted in existing alchemic lore.

I don’t- when I first awoke I knew nothing, nothing but the dream of things that sliced my who from me with claws like scalpels… They would hunt me and toy with what it meant to be me peeling away my layers first my name, then my memory and then… …and then the fearless one reached in and grasped me, tore me out, leaving my story to fall away like autumn leaves…

I think Celia's statement has very little to get into really, I just wanted to mention that it was a nice detail. Another if you know you know and not a topic I get into here. [Error] also has a line here I think is interesting but it requires getting more into TMA than I care for so I'm going to leave it. I'm not 100% sure what to make of it either as of yet.

And there we have it. Season 1 is wrapped. Well other than the epilogue, What If?, fluff episode, and trailer. I don't have much of a bow to tie on this really other than to say I've really enjoyed this season and I'm excited for where it's going to go next.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Prediction Follow Up

Celia is going to get [Error]ed and exposition dump about her whole deal. - That happened but the exposition relevant to the show's plot didn't occur via that.

Alice gets got and she's got some secret twisty trauma. - Didn't happen.

Teddy can give her a lift and we'll hear what was on his mind. - Also didn't happen.

Speaking of [Error] it seems likely that Celia is going to reveal at least what she knows about Archivists. - This didn't not happen but also didn't really happen exactly.

With [Error] being this season's antagonist it's likely that she's going to get defeated in the finale. - Kinda sorta maybe.

It could be a gaping maw in realities that sucks our cast off to someplace new. - Got some of our cast at least, so lets say 3.

Hilltop is likely to play some role in defeating [Error] and if I had to hazard a guess I think it's likely we'll see some of the great cosmology at play here - Kinda sorta.

I think we're also going to see a good bit of Gwen going behind Lena's back too... I don't think we'll necessarily see anything major happen but I do think it's a pretty likely hook for season 2. - Yeah, that all basically happened.

Final Score 10/10 - Being incorrect does not impact my self-worth.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Season 2 Predictions

Honestly, I don't have much to say for this. It's probably going to be still follow the same characters, Sam will deal with whatever new universe he's in, Celia will play dumb but Alice won't buy it, Gwen will fail to deal with her new responsibilities, Teddy will reveal some awful secret, Colin will go further into the deep end, and there will probably be some sort of Magnus-based twist.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Incident/CAT#R#DPHW Master Sheet and Terminology Sheet

DPHW Theory: 3366 is a very pleasing set of numbers. This one matches episode 8's Architecture (Liminal) -/- Hunger too which I mention for the thematic symmetry. They're quite different incidents but has some similar elements. Which I think is a good indication of my theory's strength. You'd expect some sort of parallels to be able to be drawn if these numbers were ratings in categories as I've laid out. It's not definitive proof but it's more than I've had to talk about here for a while.

CAT# Theory: CAT2 is another obviously "wrong" one for the Person/Place/Object theory IMO. Hilltop is a place but Hilltop didn't cause it and it didn't happen to Hilltop. [Error] made a dude turn into concrete. Fairly useless to pin that one on the location. I think there are more than enough of these obviously faulty ones that I can stop mentioning it come season 2. Hopefully I'll have my own theory to talk about by then too.

R# Theory: We've finally got our first S. It's been long awaited if only by myself. Generally, I'm very pleased with this. An S on this case is some of the best evidence I've had that I'm correct about the general purpose of Ranks. A still living concrete man is undeniable evidence of the supernatural. No amount of explaining it away changes the fact a man turned into concrete and lived to tell the tale. It's still not 100% certain if Rank is purely about evidence or more about urgency in general but I do think now it's fairly clear that if I'm not entirely correct it's the right path.

Header talk: Transmutation (Human) -/- Isolation (Urban). Very little to talk about on that one but it's interesting to see the continued difference between transformation and transmutation.

[emeraldtart]

Descendants AU where the villains are surprisingly good parents. Out of spite but then it turned genuine.

It started off with some of the good characters of Auradon said that its impossible for villains to love or even comprehend what love is.

You know what the villains think? Aight, bet.

Some of the villains are genuinely good parents, like Hades since he is the god with the less shenanigans out of the entire pantheon.

Since this is an AU, I've thought of making Mal close with the Underworld family rather than being directly related to Hades (maybe she's very distantly related, some generations back from her father's side?)

Hadie's real name was Zagreus, but since he looks after his father a lot other villain parents calls him Hadie as a nickname. When he reached adolescence only the adults knows his real name.

Hades and Captain Hook might be the best dads on the island, and they have a friendly rivalry on who's the top dad on the island is.

Spoiler, it was Facilier who won that title.

Captain Hook is probably one of the first to be on board the idea of trying to raise a child (or three) properly, because his nemesis is a boy who brings children to a dangerous island and 'thins them out' when they get older, of course he'd grow a conscience.

Hook's wife lives in our world, along with their three children, but when the barrier was erected the magic pulled the children to the Isle.

His wife also happens to be Mary Darling's sister, which make Wendy and her brothers cousins with the Hook kids.

The Hook siblings' mother never knew what happened to them. She thinks that The Boy Who Wouldn't Grow Up took them as revenge for being bested by Hook long ago.

Hook having his three children (Harriet, Harry and CJ) suddenly ended up on his bed at three in the morning surely isn't how he expects fatherhood to come back to him.

Mal is technically the oldest Villain Kid on the Isle, because she was a dragon fae she came from an egg, and her egg was laid more than a century before the villains were banished to the Isle of Lost.

Her egg was supposed to hatch about 100 years ago, but due to the whole fiasco with Sleeping Beauty and some of the fairies hating what Maleficent did, they cursed her egg so it won't hatch until Sleeping Beauty woke up.

And the fact that the father was a human and there was no magic on the Isle rises the possibility of the child dying within the shells of their egg.

It caused Maleficent so much grief during that 100 years time. Even when she was banished she worries that the people of Auradon were right; she doesn't know how to love. That's why her child don't hatch.

Mal's birth was the greatest thing to happen to Maleficent, next to the happier times in her past.

The Evil Queen/Grimhilde is best friends with Maleficent. She was by Maleficent's side when she was grieving the fate of her unhatched child.

Grimhilde is the best at gossip because of her mirror.

She and Cruella probably make a living on making children clothes.

Gaston probably struggled in how to take care of children. Before, he wanted boys yes, so he can teach them how to hunt and be a man. But when he realised that parenthood started even before the child is born he knew he needed help.

Unfortunately none of the villain dad group could help Gaston with his horrible naming scheme.

At least Gil was spared from the confusing fate of sharing his name with his dad.

Ursula also needs help when raising Uma, since she has no idea how to raise a half-mer daughter.

She figured it out, mostly. But sometimes Uma just went and do some of the weirdest things that are neither Merfolk things nor human things. Eventually the entire island just chalk it up to an average child's weirdness.

Jay and Carlos are neighbours, and they stick to each other's sides, thick as thieves. Carlos sometimes take scrap fur and sew them into a blanket they use for fort.

The Core Four and Sea Three are friends, although the shrimp accident happened because Gil's brothers think it'd be funny.

That was the day the island learned that Mal has way too many teeth in her mouth and too little reason not to use them.

When Ben became king and asked the Isle children to come to Auradon, he doesn't realise what he had brought to the kingdom.

Harry asked Smee in forging three more letters so the Sea Three can go to Auradon too.

Mal made a magic copy of the original letter and printed it to avoid magic detectors.

Jay swapped the fake with the original, and nobody realise that there aren't supposed to be seven Isle kids in the kingdom.

Ben did and asked why there's seven of them, to which Carlos said, "What do you mean? Of course there's seven of us, it says so in the letter. Everyone of us gets it,"

There's still plot with Audrey being bitter with her breakup, but instead of the entire island save the cast falling asleep, everyone (on Auradon and Isle of Lost) falls asleep and the Core Seven has to navigate the dreams and reach Audrey.

Maybe the Core Seven sees their parents' lives before the Isle.

Maybe at one point they end up in London, somehow the magic Audrey used connected them to that world via Hook's wife.

[sicklyseraphnsuch]

Time and Blood

Let's get into it.

In true Blood fashion, I'm going to relate the aspects in what I generously call "Aspect Families". The reasoning is simple: the aspects are in someway related to each other.

Each aspect has it's thematic contrast. Time and Space. Light and Void. Heart and Mind. Breath and Blood. It's easy to say they cancel each other out because they are negative/positive values. But honestly, in my opinion, they're multipliers. Familial wise, I consider paired aspects like twins - double the trouble.

So for example, Breath and Blood are twin aspects of leadership and community. They guide and inspire but in completely different ways. Breath prioritizes individuality - freedom of the spirit - an internal expression. Blood prioritizes relationships - a confluence of intention - an external connection. Both occupy leader-like roles with Breath leading through example - leading from the front and Blood leading from within - leading through practice.

Kankri is actually an exemplary Blood player. He Sees the correct practice by which you're supposed to treat another with decency and dignity. (It's just as a Seer, he wasn't as good about the In Practice like his Alternia self).

NOW there's the aspects that are complementary. These positive intergers added together. Any aspect can be added to another aspect - save I think for the aspect's twin which again acts more like a multiplier. But some aspects have more commonality. (7+3 vs 8+14) It's like these aspects are divisible by the same integer. Let's call them cousin aspects. They come from a family line that can be traced to a shared thematic core.

For example, Time and Light share a thematic core of Fate and Fortune. They work really well together because at their core, they work with what happens next. Not the in-universe understanding of "events to come" but the meta-viewer understanding of "what happens next in the story".

So let's expand a little more there. In my theory, Homestuck has two thematic families. The Plot and the Characters.

There's aspects that lend more to the so called Plot - Time and Space, Light and Void, Life and Doom. These are the big broad aspects - worldbuilding blocks. (Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Spoilers Ahead, Somebody Lives)

There's aspects that lend more to Character Development - Breath and Blood, Heart and Mind, Hope and Rage. These deal with fabled Character Arcs - the personal and the interpersonal. (Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, Fuck Canon)

Broadly speaking, these are tangible and intagible exceeeeept there's a black sheep in every family. Breath and Blood/Light and Void straddle the lines between these families. Light and Void are not palpable things (by definition metaphysical) that you can mark and measure like time or space or life or death, the same way you can mark and measure Breath and Blood (by definition physical) unlike thoughts, souls, or emotions. (Also Breath is shown to have Practical use - like the other "worldbuilding" aspects - maybe if Karkat had a chance, he would have had practical uses as well).

As a DirkJohn shipper, I've made a throughline with Breath and Heart being complementary aspects of identity and freedom (labels and fluidity). Feels fairly straightforward.

And then there's the DaveKat shipper in me. AND AT LAST THIS LONGWINDED FART HAS ARRIVED AT THE POINT. EVERYONE CLAP.

Time and Blood occupy two very different parts of the story - and naturally two different aspect families as detailed above. Time concerns itself with the bigger story and the mark of a player that is proactive. Blood concerns itself with the team and the mark of a player that is cooperative.

Proactive and cooperative - a winning session makes. But it's also a little more than that.

There's a saying that I'm fond of: "Perhaps not just time, but patience." This refers to how things develop overtime. It's not just relationships - but in general. It's not about giving something X amount of hours, months, years. It's about being patient. The difference lies in the care.

Time will pass - inevitably, time moves. But things don't develop in a linear fashion. Somethings stutter and stop and fast forward or rewind or two steps forward, one step back. Someone impatient could prolong a process that someone patient could quicken.

So time is not patience. You can give someone all the time in the world but if you're not patient, no bond may ever form. Likewise, patience does need time to gain the opportunity to truly do its work. The patience of a second does not make much of a difference.

How does patience link to Blood? In my opinion, patience is the root core of Blood. It is the root core of a solid, steadfast relationship - the ability to see through conflict with an open mind, a willing heart, and the patience to stay at someone's side through thick or thin. It is that which allows someone to be Present in the Moment and not just daydreaming of being anywhere else.

They go together then. Blood and Time. Patience and Opportunity. Because that's what Time is in the worldbuilding sense. Time is runtime - is how many chapters are left. This means more chances to see characters interact. This is how shippers ride or die with stories because they have to see if the next update will show them in the same panel. (Who's projecting? Not me.)

(As an aside: I know shipping gets SO MUCH hate and it's not unearned but also fuck off. Modern fandom was born on the backs of spirk shippers and shippers are loyal viewers and will invest in a story harder than a casual fan - both a strength and a folly.)

Blood is investment. Blood is commitment. Blood is patience and grace. Blood gives Time intrinsic value beyond just the counting of a clock. That's why these aspects go together. Time and Blood weave together as the thematic core of connection - that which binds all the players on the stage, that which plants the butts of the audiences in their seats. Blood and Time is the story aspect of relationships (Faith and Fate)

Other metaphysical and physical pairings include: Light and Heart (representation/meta), Void and Breath (privacy screen/offstage), Life and Rage (plot armor), Space and Mind (headcanon), Doom and Hope (cliffhanger)

[the-bitter-ocean]

10 12 and 15 for isat ask game :3

(FULL GAME SPOILERS + 2HATS/A6SE SPOILERS ) Thank you for asking these questions @aroace-poly-show ! I’m going to answer 10 since 12 and fifteen I’ve already in previous asks! If you’d like to know my answers to those you can find them here (ask 12) and here (ask 15) I have a ton of headcanons for both the setting of the game as a whole and also for individual characters but for now I think I’m gonna focus more on the world building aspect in this ask! I won’t delve into all of them but I’ll grab some that I talked about to my friends:

10- any headcanons about the in-game world? (about the forgotten island, craft types, just like. world building hcs, etc)

For the island I like to think the people living there would collect dandelions, folded paper cranes and looked for shooting stars because all of those are methods of making a wish. I also like the idea of there being festivals and ceremonies where people would make and light up lanterns to put in the sky. I also think that the Island had a close trade relation to places like Vaugarde (Bambouche specifically given how close it is to the island + both areas are coastal and how its cultural aspects seem to have major overlap in some areas as well with the favor trees etc). We don’t know a lot about the island or its culture in game but from what little we see from Siffrin’s memories and optional content in game it is very fascinating. I like to think out of all the countries the island is the more technologically advanced (given the studies on the stars and cultural practices of wishcraft/ time craft that region could have been the main ones studying it, hence the lack of info on either of these things once the island got wiped from everyone’s memories). I love when people in aus and fics and art explore the effects of this post game. Seeing everyone’s interpretations on whether the islands culture slowly gets remembered or more stuff about time craft/wish craft gets discovered or explore the effects of the color red being a permanent thing people can see now due to the events of act 5 is wild to think about.

In general I like seeing the different cultures views/ gods / faiths and belief systems and seeing how that affects the environment and characters who live within it. Odile mentioned having multiple gods aka “Expressions” (polytheistic) and that you build shrines / pray to only the ones you need in that moment, Mirabelle believes in the Change God (monotheistic) and Siffrin believes in the Universe (which to me reminds me more of a way of life/ belief system / conceptual idea of “Fate” itself rather than a conscious thinking autonomous being in the way expressions or the change god is ) All in all having these different elements makes the setting feel more open and interesting/ grounded in reality which u appreciate immensely. In the photos listed down below I said my personal HCS about the country of Mwudu since we don’t really get to hear about it in game aside from passing mentions and flavor text when you click certain objects.

[raylazuko]

Genshin Spoilers

Okay okay lemme cook for a second.

Anyone else find the blood purity and relations shit weird?

Like what we know now is that Caribert died at age 8 in the creation of the loom of fate. So therefore Caribert has no heir and was also regarded as an illegitimate child by Clothar and that his mother is of Mondstandt origin. So he is not pureblood which is why he was turned into a hillichurl.

We can make assumptions that Clothar had no other children with this woman or if he did, they are still monsters and not able to repoduce, so therefore there are no halfblood heirs of Clothar.

Next I have to talk about race and geography since I’m such a nerd about this crap. So many characters should have darker complexions based on how much sun they get (Sumeru desert, Natlan, and Liyue, PLAYABLE character not just NPCs.) Like if Mualani looks dark compared to 90% of the cast, we have a problem.

So let’s assume Teyvat is a globe and it’s laid out on a flat map for us to see. Let’s also assume that the climate is similar to earth. Let’s assume the equator is around the center so like above most of Liyue and Sumeru. Parts of Mondstandt being based on Italy, it should have a medeterranean climate, therefore melanin, but I digress. Okay so the Sumeru deserts and Natlan are close to the equator. Inazuma would be closer to the South Pole and has a harsh climate hence people not getting sun. (This is also ignoring places like Fontaine which is based on France, where yes, Black people exist in real life, but I digress). The only playable characters with dark(er) skin as well as NPCs are from Natlan and Sumeru (and also Xinyan for some reason).

We also know from Dainsleif, Halfdan, and the Sinners, that they use Norse names. Also Khaenri’ah being underground would mean they got little to no natural light. So it’s safe to assume pureblood Khaenriahs are white as fuck.

With this knowledge, wtf is going on with Kaeya?

We also have to examine how this curse works. If all the non pure bloods were turned into monsters, it’s safe to assume they can’t reproduce. Also judging by Kaeya very clearly being a child in the past and growing up with Diluc, it’s safe to assume that the modern Khaenri’ahns have a normal lifespan (unless being halfblood is what dictates that). It may have diminished or weakened over time, throughout the generations. We don’t know the exact mechanics but we can assume that Kaeya has a normal lifespan. I know Hoyo is gonna try to say he’s pureblood and not explain stuff but logically, no. When he sees Dain he comments “you’re a pureblood Khaenri’ahn” implying that, he, Kaeya, is not that. Also there’s the Sumeru trip when he was young. Assuming that his father is the one with the Alberich surname, which makes sense judging by how surnames usually work, we can assume that Kaeya’s mother was the one who isn’t Khaenri’ahn.

We can assume that the only Khaenrians who could reproduce from that original cursed generation were the ones who retained human form (pure bloods). We can also assume that Kaeya is a descendent of one of Clothar’s pure blood children. He probably had an affair with Caribert’s mother out of wedlock. We can also assume that more blood mixing naturally occurred over time. So either Kaeya’s family has been mixed for awhile and it’s no big deal, or more likely, Kaeya’s father had an affair with Kaeya’s mother out of wedlock. Judging by how dark he is compared to the majority of characters, his Indian inspired outfit for his in-game skin, the trade trip to Sumeru, when he was young, and the geographical proximity, it’s safe to assume that Kaeya’s mother is probably Sumerian (and likely from the desert and Eremite affiliated). I could go deeper into what I think may have happened but for sake of brevity, it’s very possible and likely that one reason Kaeya was sent as a spy and to Mondstandt and not made an heir to the clan has to do with the fact that he’s an illegitimate child.

Okay, another additional note. Ragnvindr is a Norse name, make of that information what you will.

[yaoqing-healer-jiaoqiu]

I am Jiaoqiu, a military healer of the Yaoqing.

There are many ways to cook hot pot, but I've always thought that chili peppers were the essential ingredient. A mouthful of spicy goodness-- that's what satisfies. If it were not for this, life would have no flavour at all.

Although satisfactory taste is a must-include quality of the remedies I make, I am not a cook.

As a retainer of Arbiter General Feixiao-- also known as the Merlin's Claw-- I'm sworn into the art of medicinal cuisine, based off a promise I made to General Feixiao a while ago; that I would mix together a remedy capable of curing her of her condition.

Although my cooking focuses quite intently on healing purposes, I won't decline an invitation for hot pot-- as long as I'm not the only one cooking. If necessary, I don't mind whipping you up a dish... but I'm no personal chef.

Notes from the moderator:

~ Mod also runs the @aventurine-official rp account, so the format is her own and is not plagiarized :)

~ This blog is not spoiler-free-- any asks and replies here may contain information from the 2.4 update

Guidelines:

~ Keep the asks sfw if you please, suggestive is okay!

~ No random links in asks unless they are links to other Tumblr posts (if they are there, please specify what they are)

~ Be kind, please. Any hateful comments related but not limited to racism, sexism, homophobia, ableism, ageism and transphobia will not be tolerated here and you may be blocked.

~ All ships (age-appropriate) are welcome. I personally hc Jiaoqiu as gay, so he will have a noticeable interest in men versus women).

~ Try to avoid sending DMs to the mod unless you are another mod

~ Anons are more than welcome here! You may have a personalized tag and everything :)

List of current anon signoffs here

Key (if applicable):

" " : for dialogue

* * : for movements

( ) : ooc

Tags:

#cooking is medicine 🍜 : Art reblogs

#out for some hot pot 🍲 : Random thoughts and calm moments

#recipe or remedy? 🍡 : Asks from anons and others

#spices of the galaxy 🫚 : Interactions with Honkai Star Rail blogs

#fate by fortune 🥠 : Interactions with characters from the Xianzhou Luofu

#healing herbs 🍵 : Interactions with other members of the Alchemy Commission

#a rare blend 🍱 : Interactions with / mentions of the Yaoqing

#charming raven 🐦‍⬛ : Interactions with / mentions of Moze

#merlin's claw ⚔️ : Interactions with / mentions of Feixiao

Masterlist post of Honkai Star Rail-official blogs linked here

[stareulogy]

❝ if you could choose to be anything after death, what would you be? ❞　 star eulogy is a hyper-extended version of headspace, made real upon sunny’s death in the bad ending.

content warning: this blog contains heavy spoilers for omori, suicide, cannibalism and general dark themes.

pinned post updated as of: august 17, 2024

this blog follows a porcelain doll that holds sunny’s consciousness, as he finds any way to pass the time. cursed with immortality, he’s been alive for centuries.

sealed at the bottom of the universe, sunny’s made highly questionable decisions in his past, leading to his imprisonment, and his failure to acknowledge the truth. as he learnt that fateful day, you can’t hide from the truth, even in a different life.

sunny’s open for asks. keep him entertained?

this au has been in development for over a year. from a discord server, to multiple threads, to art between a few people. i finally decided to make a blog for the au, after months of writing.

currently available:

sunny, the porcelain doll (tag)

??? ??????? (???? ???????)

????????? ????? (???????????)

no nsfw asks, anon gifts are allowed, interactions with other blogs are highly appreciated and encouraged.

you are absolutely welcome to make fun games using anon magic, as long as you label yourself (if on anon). this is runs on an honour system, do not impersonate each other, do not cause drama via. my inbox.

reminder that the character ≠ the writer, sunny has a disorder that effects his behaviour and how he interacts with other people. sunny is not an accurate representative of the cluster-b disorder he has - it’s dramatized after centuries. of being in blackspace.

this au is closed, and is not allowing other characters to join in. (for example, you cannot make a star eulogy aubrey account and interact with people.)

feel free to ask as other characters if you don’t have a blog to do it, just add:

- (emoji) (character name)

and i’ll tag it. feel free to get crafty! i encourage alternates/variants of a character coming to ask, sunny here is aware of the different universes.

(same works for consistent anons. if you want sunny to remember you, then add an sign off in the same style.)

now, if you’re struggling with asking questions, you now have a silly little prompt list! it’s fun, speedy interactions you can get with sunny!

NOT LORE RELATED

# princess arc (ongoing?)

# royal ball event (finished)

# tea party event (finished)

LORE RELATED ARCS

... huh. i didn’t do any yet.

sometimes i might not tag things properly! please remind me to add a tag if i forget.

LORE POSTS

alternates, variants, sunny’s thoughts

sunny’s feelings on hero

would sunny date each variant? (with honest opinions and his thoughts)

jobs that sunny had in the past

sunny’s favourite universe so far

flowerwaltz in star eulogy

bounty hunting

florians (species)

blackspace

here, everything should be tagged properly.

characters have their own basic tags, i only drop ooc text into the tags, after these symbols: //

i’ll tag your blog name under each interaction.

for organization’s sake, i’ll only link the anons here.

special anons

# 🌟 anon

# 👑 anon

# 🔮 anon

# 💠 anon

# 🃏 anon

(tumblr ate the tags, sorry. those are the current roster of anons, listed from early to recent.)

honestly. i didn’t want to make a section for this. i kinda wanted to stay mysterious and cool.

hi! i’m the star eulogy mod, he/meow pronouns, i go by sunny, but you can just call me sunshine here, for the sake of differentiation between character and writer.

i mind my own business, so i don’t really see a lot of things that other blogs do. i’m very private.

if you ping the blog in your promo post, i’ll reblog it. i reblog new blogs’ pinned posts, whenever i can.

my timezone is est. but i sleep when i want to.

all of the art you see coming from me belongs to me, aside from the usage of official art, by omocat.

here’s one of my favourite art posts.

fun fact: the original universe that star eulogy originates from, was on the universally loved route. it was set up for sunflower, hence how sunny distances himself from most basil alternates.

i personally don’t ship sunny (in general) with anybody. but i’m willing to write it for the lore, if sunny (star eulogy) can keep a relationship for longer than a day.

he’s on the spectrum. (aromantic, asexual, autistic) so romance might not look the same to you, as it does to him. he’s my silly little princess.

[etrevil]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks....

So sorry for the late answer!

1. Athanasia de Alger Obelia (Who Made Me A Princess)

First hyperfixation, the manhwa I saw from start to finish. Art is just absolutely beautiful and I've been attached from the very start. Her character arc surrounding her father, Claude, had me clutching my pearls and sobbing my eyes out.

2. Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs)

Strongest hyperfixation on the series yet. There's a certain feel I get whenever I see or read content about him. Do I relate to him? Concerningly. But it's the sort of connectedness I feel when reading what Odasaku thinks of Dazai and me agreeing and being called out half of the time lol. Lastly, he's just so pretty.

3. Chuuya Nakahara (Bungou Stray Dogs)

This man's backstory has me in a chokehold. He's gone through so much shit but, compared to other characters, he remains a "good" man. Such a complex character I can't get enough of tbh. Asagiri really paired the donut man and one of the most beautiful written characters together and I love it/pos. Lastly, also very pretty. Imagining him together with Dazai, whether platonic or romantic, is also a treat.

4. Wilbur Soot (dsmp, qsmp, general yt)

His content just, helped me get through quarantine. Also his songs are just bangers, and Lovejoy is one of my top favorite bands next to The Neighborhood.

5. Kim Dokja (Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint)

One of the first Korean novels I've ever read and finished. He is just such a well-done character, and ORV as a story in general should become a literary classic (in my humble opinion). The way he seeks comfort in a story and is willing to stay until its very end, I relate to that so much, and I just feel for this tragedy-surrounded man. I wish only the best for him and his company.

6. Cale Henituse (Trash of the Count's Family)

I remember reading the novel in its early stages and waking up for school, to then eat cereal and slowly finish reading what's been published in the dim light. Haven't touched the second book yet, but the first book was just, woah. Amazing. Rollercoaster ride. Our young lord really should start looking out for his health more, everyone's so worried.

7. Han Sooyoung (Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint)

Her story arc of being an antagonist, to the third member of their trio, and [spoiler], was an absolute blast. Her character was written with such a personality she touched my heart with her spunk and gentle care towards her friends. What she's done for KDJ is absolutely what tore my heart out. She deserves so much. They all do. Speaks even more to me since I'm a writer. Love her with all my heart <3.

8. Achilles (Greek Mythos, the Song of Achilles)

He amuses me. His rage, his reactions, the slaughter he made across the battlefield, and the way he eventually died. The fact we have historical evidence from a vase that people back then saw him rolled up into a blanket burrito during his sulking period. That he sent out one of his "closest" men in his own armory and grew enraged (understatement) when he returned as a corpse. I just, love him. Words cannot explain how I hold him, and Patroclus, to a high regard in my heart.

9. Tallulah (qsmp)

Best egg child to ever exist. Second is Chayanne. The admin for this character just stole us from the very start. Deserves a thousand bamboo flutes.

10. Ayna and Ranonthean (Secret Lady)

Might be considered cheating but these two are a couple and the toxicity cannot exist without the other. The slow unfurling of how their love story that led to the actual FL and ML's current predicament (read the story it's so good) absolutely rocked my shit. Like, omfg their children. Her family. Fate itself. I wanna sock Fate in the face. They're in love, but their love cannot thrive in a place like that. At least not for long. And it shows; the chapter this image is from, side story 11, has me by the throat. Banana-nim's art just makes everything better. They're relatively good for each other, but because of the situations forced on them, shit happens. Doomed by the narrative indeed.

Special manhwa couple mentions:

Angela and Rayburn, "I Stan the Prince"

Penelope and Callisto, "Death is The Only Ending for the Villainess"

Ines and Carcel, "This Marriage was Bound to Fail Anyway"

Shuri and Nora, "Stepmother's Marchen"

Eris and Anakin, "Kill The Villainess"

Raeliana and Noah, "Why Raeliana Ended Up at the Duke's Manor"

[dekusleftsock]

Did anyone see this? I feel like it’s a small detail in the pile of evidence for Izuku’s “control your heart” thing going on.

Hell, even Bakugou Katsuki Rising is referenced in the same chapter.

(Side note: me and my friend ended up spending 20 minutes identifying that flower, ty @the-real-loverboy for being my favorite flower nerd—regardless it’s called the Paris Japonica, a rare flower native to Japan that has the largest genome to our knowledge. Only problem? I can’t find any symbolism on this flower, and every source is written by white people in the west on how to care for the flower so. If anyone knows literally anything important about this flower, I’m very very interested. I know that it can bloom in the early winter and is more tolerable to colder climates, so maybe it’s a reference to rei/the general himura family? Who knows)

Going back to the original thought, I think the line “I wonder what changes we’ll witness… come tomorrow” has been kind of disregarded. And, as the newest spoilers have shown, the entire todoroki family is undergoing this evolution of the heart ALONGSIDE their own personal quirks.

Now, what does that have to do with bkdk and Izuku specifically? We have ofc, the plot line of Izuku not being able to control his heart for Katsuki, but what makes this situation unique is one for all itself.

Ofa, as I understand it, is a quirk closely related to romance. It’s surrounded all of Izuku’s emotions and close relationships, along with Nana’s signature line describing ofa as romantic. And, if we’re talking about near death experiences making these hidden parts of their quirks pop out unintentionally, then that would explain why Katsuki has a connection to ofa. From the ofa stars DURING Bakugou Katsuki Rising, to being able to meet and then talk to the Allmight vestige.

So, uncontrolled emotions, rejection of vulnerability, creates an intimate connection to anyone that Izuku the character, cares about.

On top of all of this, all of Izuku’s inner quirk stuff is so closely tied to his heart, that he doesn’t even need to be in life or death situations—it just has to feel like it. Anger so palpable, he literally unlocks blackwhip. Fear of his friends and fellow heroes demise so strong he unlocks float. And the list goes on and on, with him unlocking most of his quirks during his lowest low, his depressive episode.

Izuku doesn’t have to be dying like Touya does to lose control, he just has to vaguely feel like it.

And of the characters I feel have not evolved their hearts as much as their quirks, Katsuki and Izuku I feel will be the most passionate.

But I digress, here’s the people I believe will have this inner life or death quirk “awakening” because of their hearts: Toga, Ochako, Deku, Katsuki, Shigaraki, and the entire Todoroki family.

Now, controlling your heart and near death experiences, lets see—why are these two ideas so closely tied to each other? What makes them inherently unique in comparison to each other?

Or rather, a better question, what connects them?

I’d argue it’s acceptance. Pain could be another argument sure, but I feel like it’s way more common to just accept that your dying when you’re almost dead, than to actually register the pain from it.

And acceptance of the heart often comes hand in hand with those experiences—Endeavor knows he will die with Touya and he has accepted the fact that he was never enough for him as a father, but that if he can bring him to the sky, it will be okay because he can die with his son as penitence for his wrongdoings, while keeping the rest of his family okay. Probably better off without him because of his actions.

And Katsuki, during his death, has accepted his fate. But while doing so, he has also accepted that he won’t catch up to Izuku, that he truly has been a dorky fan of Allmight, that he can die loving him. (Love doesn’t have to mean romantic in this example, like yes I do believe they will be canon, but love is a loose term here because of what his death truly meant) Because that death meant accepting his care and his admiration of Izuku, that he’s always been looking behind him.

And this circles back to Izuku, with parallels between Rei chasing Endeavor into the fire paralleling Izuku chasing Katsuki into fire during the sludge villain fight, because endeavors death is—while poetic—ultimately only harmful. Yes he is saving the city and Japan, he is dying as a hero and protecting his family, but as Shoto said, they have to do it together. This isn’t Endeavor healing his heart, I would argue it’s meaningless sacrifice born out of guilt. Rei SHOULD help, Natsuo SHOULD help, Fuyumi SHOULD HELP! Shoto shouldn’t have tried to fight dabi on his own, because Enji and Shoto both feel entirely responsible for what Touya has become, when they aren’t!

People forget that Touya is a fucking adult. He’s a serial killer and an arsonist because he chose to be. That doesn’t mean he’s forever going to be the worst person in the world, but no one person is responsible for his actions other than him. And that’s a reality we have to accept with our trauma, our parents can exponentially fuck up and make us terrible people, but you as a person have every opportunity as an adult to change what they have made you become. Touya could have gotten a job if he was that mad at his dad, he could have just fucking knocked on the front door of his house, he could have chosen at ANY POINT in his life to say, “No, I shouldn’t do that.” But he simply didn’t.

And not Endeavor, not Rei, not Natsuo, not Fuyumi, and certainly not Shoto are responsible for that. Dabi is selfish. I love his character but that’s a fact. He is selfish because of his trauma yes, this is all born out of an innate childhood need for his fathers attention yes, but that doesn’t make it justified.

“But Sock what about what you said earlier about saving him together!” I still stand by both my points.

Dabi can both need to be saved AND can also be selfish for needing to be saved in the first place. Those aren’t opposite ideas, they can still coexist. And they can coexist because Dabi is a character written well! He’s not a “villain with the right ideas taken too far”, he’s a complex person with an interesting backstory who has still killed people. (Fun fact dabi has committed several war crimes under the Geneva Convention LMAO)

MHA describes heroics as oftentimes “sticking your nose in places where they don’t belong”, meaning even people who don’t necessarily want to be saved. Dabi can still be selfish and wrong while still needing to be saved and supported.

There’s this line in a fanfic I read, something about human beings sometimes not having enough time in their life to become a better person. For person A, maybe it takes a couple months and a few simple ideas. For person B, maybe it takes your whole life and then some to understand the weight of your own actions. And that doesn’t make person A or person B incapable of change, they can still just need a proper opportunity to understand, or practice to implement a new idea into their mind.

Maybe person B just needed better luck, maybe person A was just a teenager growing up, but they both can still change.

Tangent over about the Todoroki family, back to Izuku. Like Endeavor in this instance, Izuku is often the type to have this martyr mentality, but unlike Izuku, Endeavor is the one currently in the fire, or more rather, he is the one currently dying. Like Katsuki.

Katsuki has accepted his death in this war, that ship has sailed. He has come close to death and then actually died, and the todoroki’s are currently going through the process. So that leaves Izuku. (And technically Toga too, maybe ochako, but that’s for another meta one day maybe)

Will Izuku have to come close to death? I’m excited to see.

Idrk how to end this meta, I think I had other thoughts and ideas I wanted to share, (along with a better conclusion), but I forgot those ideas and stuff about half way through writing this.

[shoujomangathoughts]

Chihayafuru Thoughts - Chihaya and Taichi (Ch.140-247) Part 2

This is the second part of me covering the Taichi and Chihaya relationship after Taichi’s confession and resignation from the club to the end of the manga, this time focused on events in Taichi’s arc and how it relates to his relationship to Chihaya. Once again, there’s obviously spoilers here since it covers chapters all the way to the end.

After leaving, it really seems as though Taichi plans to quit karuta, or at least take an extended break, until finding out Suou is a teacher at his cram school  (there are some really good write-ups about their relationship that I can’t compare to so check them out!). In general though, being with Suou seems to allow Taichi a space to entertain being a different person as he works through some of his feelings. In the culmination of events (a lot of season three of the anime), he seemingly wants to give everything up. When he watched Harada play Suou, he questioned how it’s possible to give everything you have to something without fear of regret. I’ve always seen his interest in Suou stemming from Suou sympathizing with him and also “not liking” karuta. Having so much ability in the game while also being unattached (or so Suou claims at this point) appeals to Taichi when he’s at his lowest point. If he doesn’t love the game or put weight into winning or losing, he has nothing to lose. I actually think it’s interesting to break down Taichi’s character this way; in the Meijin qualifiers he notes that he wants to be a different person, but still himself (aka a different version of himself). After the events of what season 3 covers though, I feel like Taich is burnt out on trying to change and takes a more extreme avenue when he goes under Suou’s wing. That being said, it’s clear that for all the pain he went through, he cherishes the time he spent with the team, even if it hurts him right now.

He has to figure out why he’s playing karuta and acknowledge that he actually does like it, even it frustrates and challenges him over and over. I’ve always liked the panel where he resolves himself to work through his complicated relationship with karuta because he doesn’t want these memories to be tainted. It’s also nice to see him actually enjoy the game (you can tell by his remarks and body language) now that the pressure is off him. He’s essentially playing to lose (and learn) and not worrying about the team, catching up to Chihaya and Arata, helping Chihaya with her dream, winning in tournaments, etc. This is good for him, he’s able to focus on himself for a while and it more or less proves that part of him always enjoyed the game even if he wasn’t able to convince himself of that. I said this in a previous post, that Taichi seems to enjoy karuta, but the reason he plays is never because he does, which is why he so easily admits that he doesn’t like it when Suou calls it out. 

Even though he feels guilt over leaving the team abruptly and for admitting that he’s enjoying karuta so much more on his own, it’s obvious Taichi is still attached to them. When they just barely make it to nationals, and he thinks about how he can’t go as he’s no longer a member, his phone blows up. The team members texted him about their victory and it’s clear that part of Taichi still exists within that team, as he does a victory gesture. It’s also really nice that the members still seem to think of him as a member and keep him updated even though he left. When Chihaya texts him, she includes the fact that the final card was ‘Se’, which Taichi notes to be about fate. He wonders if he is also waiting for fate to bring them back together. This signals to me that Taichi is willing to go back to them once he works on himself and the timing is right (unfortunately doesn’t happen in time but he’s acknowledging that he still wants them in his life).

When the flashback of the third year boys at karaoke happens, we get this panel of Taichi expressing what I feel is a very raw emotion. The reason he probably feels like this is that if Chihaya's hurt because of how things went with him, that means she truly understands his feelings in a way that she hadn’t before. In a way, it proves to Taichi that he meant enough to her that she’d be hurt to lose him or break his heart the way she did. Taichi often felt inadequate and unnoticed by Chihaya despite always being at her side, so this emotion doesn’t strike me as surprising, as it feels like a bit of validation, albeit in a pretty sad way (reminds me of a scene with Kagura in Fruits Basket). He also feels guilty for this and considers it one of the reasons he doesn’t “deserve” to go back to the team.

I actually view him going to nationals as a lapse in judgement for Taichi regarding what he’s trying to do. After nationals, we’re presented the fact that Taichi is practicing assimilation with Suou, seemingly to gain perspective but also to allow himself to be someone else. But in the culmination of his mom being there, Arata and Chihaya playing, and the part of him that’s been longing to go back, he ends up there. However, after that he goes home and later runs from Chihaya because he doesn’t want to return to “himself”, which makes me think he really only returned because he was emotionally charged, even if it contradicted what he was trying to do otherwise.

During the emotional reunion (one of my favorite moments in the series), Taichi apologizes specifically to Chihaya and then to the rest of the team. I think his apology encompasses more than just being sorry for not being there, the same way I felt Chihaya’s “thank you” carried more weight. He seems to be apologizing for a lot; not being there, the way they left things off, leaving his responsibilities in the club to her, for any hurt he caused, etc. I also love how the team seem to understand that Taichi wouldn’t have left them like that unless he truly felt he needed to because it shows how much they trust him. The focus on Chihaya at first is really sweet too; they’ve known each other the longest and have the closest bond, started the club together, and she’s been thinking about him a lot while he’s been gone. 

During the Meijin and Queen qualifiers, Taichi starts his “villain arc”. He plays in a trickier, more detached way that relies on making opponents commit faults, something learned from playing with Suou. To me this reiterates my earlier point about Taichi trying to be detached for sake of not being disappointed or frustrated if he loses, especially considering that Harada more of less coaxes his actual desire out of him (wanting to be “where Chihaya and Arata are”). He seems to try acting like a different person, using an interesting answer about being a Shiranami member, taunting Sudo and other opponents, avoiding Chihaya and being thrown off when she talks to him. However, seeing Chihaya struggle is one of the things that brings him back to himself, as is seeing that Arata has won in the west and and finally Dr. Harada’s match. During his match with Sudo, he talks about vanishing cards and holding something dear by holding it at a distance. Then, when the ‘Chiha’ card is about to be read, we see his thoughts of “don’t vanish”. To me, this is representative of a lot of what Taichi has been through; despite the pain he would feel at Chihaya’s side and the pain of their separation, even though they don’t spend time together the way they used to, even though he’s been trying to act like someone else, when you break down his true feelings he doesn’t want to lose his connection to her.

In his first game against Arata, he plays a similarly tricky style as he did in the qualifiers and seems to continue trying to be somewhat detached. He even uses Chihaya as a model (”The answer... lay with Chihaya!) to have an almost childish sort of fun that we’ve never seen him have while playing. After the first game, Chihaya and the other girls let some fresh air and snow into the room, improving the atmosphere, but Taichi thinks about how he doesn’t want to be distracted by her and remember when they played together. However, in the second game, he plays more earnestly (as noted by Yoshioka of the Nagumo society). This is also the game where Taichi and Chihaya have a small moment that seems reminiscent of the days they played on the same team. Seeing how determined she is makes him admit to himself that winning has to mean something, contrary to what he was taking from being with Suou. Suou himself even notes that though some people gain strength from believing that, Taichi is different and that the “real” Taichi isn’t his disciple. 

Towards the end of the game, he focuses so intensely on ‘Chiha’ that he physically shakes after a different card is read. And then right before it is read, it  glows to him and after taking it, he notes that it was the only card on the field that he could see (”Only that. Only Chiha”). After that, he takes ‘Fu’ incredibly quick and admits that Chihaya’s take of said card (the first card she took like a “real karuta player”) had always inspired him. To me, this is what Sakurazawa meant by saying “there’s a kind of confidence that only Ayase can build for him”. He’s always been inspired by Chihaya; as kids when Arata’s prowess motivated her instead of frightened her, when he watched her win and get to Class A, when she revealed her dream to be queen and when that dream become tangible, etc. and he’s mentioned that her greed has rubbed off on him. Even when he’d been frustrated and dissatisfied, Chihaya’s unadulterated passion for the game has helped him remember why he keeps playing. It’s also interesting to me that the only commentary and reactions we get from Chihaya here are based on Taichi’s takes (in part due to timing I guess but still). In the end, Taichi loses the third game, but by winning the second, he gained something he had verbalized and convinced himself that he would never achieve; beating Arata. Even though he had ambition to go further, I think this is part of why he’s so quickly able to smile and wish for Arata to beat Suou and for Chihaya to become “the strongest in the world”.

Even though he’s apprehensive about watching the matches. It’s clear that Taichi still wants to support Chihaya. He knows how important this day is to her and has watched her struggle and grow to be at the level she’s at. The line about collecting green herbs is about the fact that he’s been supporting her behind the scenes. Having Sumire and the kohais go to the shrine with her, helping Chitose, the kimono, and Dr. Harada get to Omi Jingu, praying for her at the shrine, etc. were all his ways of supporting her. It’s always been kind of sad to me that Taichi can’t seem to think of himself as being one the “herbs”, that even though Chihaya (and Arata for that matter) doesn’t need him there, they still might want him there, but gaining a better self of his self worth is part of his growth and arc. I think this also connects to how he pondered Kana’s question about ‘role’, and how he seems to believe his role may be to simply support others (”Omi Jingu is no longer my destination”, “I just know it’s not me. Chihaya’s ‘core’”), which is why he plans on leaving once he’s done “gathering the herbs”. He’s yet to find the confidence to voice and act on his own desires.

The conversation with Chitose is a good wake up call for Taichi, who has resigned himself to allowing others to accomplish things that he wanted to do. It’s a nice moment where Chitose (and later there’s a line from Tsuboguchi too) puts in perspective that Taichi is his own person with his own desires and there’s nothing wrong with that. Taichi in general struggles with insecurity and self worth, so it’s nice to someone as blunt as Chitose spell it out for him. The most poignant line here to me though is about whether or not feelings are wasted. Though he doesn’t seem to say it, in my opinion it’s here that we see Taichi accepting that even if Chihaya never reciprocates his feelings, he doesn’t have to feel that they were wasted. This is also a nice change in perspective for Taichi who was once worried about putting time into something and fearing regret over doing so. Even if it hurt him at times, it’s clear that he still cherishes the time he’s spent with her and doesn’t want that connection to be cut off. Also interesting that even though he said his feelings may fade, when Chitose asks him, he only says that he was rejected instead of denying his feelings. Taichi saying his feelings may fade may have been fully true, he may have said it knowing that Chihaya could hear and thus trying to make her less on edge, he could have been trying to make it true for himself by saying it out loud but it’s vague enough to interpret. Chitose also mentions a “void” that Chihaya can’t fill, which I’ve always interpreted as Taichi’s lack of self esteem and ability to truly accept himself, something that it’s true Chihaya can’t fix for him.

When Taichi does walk in, it’s in game four. He previously was so happy about Chihaya’s first win that he dropped his phone to the ground in his celebration. Watching her play with all her might against Shinobu brings him to tears. As was apparent from his final game against Arata, he wants to see Chihaya accomplish her dream; the dream that was part of why he agreed to make the club, the dream he saw become something real and watched her claw her way towards for years. After watching both Chihaya and Arata take ‘Chiha’ in the fifth games, he slips out of the room they are watching and Hanano goes out to find him doing practice swings in the hall. This scene reminds me of when Porky loses to Arata and says “this is why I hate strong players, they make me want to try harder” and also shows how different Taichi is now (remember when he wouldn’t practice swings because he was embarrassed?). When Chihaya and Arata win and become Queen and Meijin, we get to see Taichi’s thoughts that he’s always been left behind. However, the quickness in which he declares he’ll be back to defeat Arata next year reminds me of how fast Chihaya challenged Shinobu and how determined Arata challenged Suou. To me, this proves that Taichi has a drive and confidence he didn’t previously have (he previously got upset with himself for not being able to throw down the gauntlet like Arata). It’s proof that he’s not giving up on himself the way his words may lead you to believe (”Omi Jingu is no longer my destination), and now that he’s playing for himself and because he’s acknowledged what karuta is to him, his desire to not be left behind seems healthier and more out of competitive spirit and respect for his friends/rivals rather than a way to ease his insecurity and feelings of inadequacy. When they hug him, he gets his scene of embracing his inner child and accepting himself, which is a journey that has been a defining part of his entire character arc.

When Taichi and Chihaya talk on their graduation day (before she confesses), its visibly clear to me that Taichi has fully come around on the sentiment from his conversation with Chitose. He seems much happier (here and in the scene with Hanano and Tsukuba) and more comfortable around Chihaya again, which to me signifies that he’s fully accepted that Chihaya may never love him back, and yet his feelings for her are still entirely valid. That translates into him using the line about karuta always being a way to connect them; even if their relationship is different than it once was, even if there’s some distance between them because of his feelings for her and neither wanting to pressure each other (he has yet to know her feelings), he can still be connected to her in some way. The bond that they’ve had for so long doesn’t have to evaporate. It seems undeniable that he’s in a better place. And then when Chihaya does confess, he obviously can’t help but feel happy (so much so that he’s brought to tears) because at the end of the day, he does love her, and those were words he longed to hear for so long even if he’s accepted he may never hear them.

// Sidenote // I’ve seen it mentioned that Taichi still loving her and being the one to have his feelings reciprocated takes away from his character growth, but I don’t agree. I think the fact that he’s able to accept his feelings even if they won’t necessarily go anywhere and not get so depressed about is proof he’s gained self esteem. He seems more content with himself and is making decisions for himself based on his own desires. He’s filling the “void” that Chitose alluded to. The only reason I can think of people wanting some of his growth to be shown through him moving on is that they wanted him out of the love triangle, but that’s just my opinion.

Anyway, thanks for reading another long one! Taichi is my favorite character and the one I find to be the most layered in this series, so it’s a bit hard to organize all my thoughts. I tried my best to stay on topic of his arc and Chihaya’s relation to it.

[kilvalir]

kilvalir's choices works

Below the read more, you will find a compilation of all the choices content I've made so far. Beware of it lives within spoilers, not all the titles of the works ahead are spoiler-free.

Tags

These are the tags I normally use on my own creations.

Writing: #my writing Edits: #my edits Memes: #my memes Below are the tags I use for my own favourite it lives within main character, mr pink-hair up there, Vax Vũ-Verdant, and all content related to him, including those made by me, and those not made by me. Vax in general: #OC: Vax Vax with Lincoln: #Vaxlinc

Writing

A note on trigger warnings: all my writing lists any potential content warnings at the top of the work, with the work itself under a "read more" button.

1. Lincoln x MC angst fic - Heal what has been hurt (change the fate's design), part 1, part 2 2. Abel x MC ficlet - click 3. Excerpt of an unfinished Abel x MC angst - click 4. Abel x MC (ish) - a sinister Judas Kiss piece - click 5. Abel x MC joke fic - click 6. Pictures of You - ILW Main Cast Angst - click 7. In Progress Lincoln x MC Angst - part 1 8. Excerpt of a soft Lincoln x MC WIP - click 9. Little ILW MC Angst Piece - click

Edits

Another note on trigger warnings: warnings for edits are shown by caution emojis and what the warning is for, after the link. e.g ⚠️EXAMPLE ⚠️

Fake CGS and Book Covers:

1. Bashful Abel in a suit - click 2. Horror Abel - click⚠️GUNS ⚠️ 3. Horror Abel looming behind ILW MC - click ⚠️BODY HORROR ⚠️ 4. Suited Up Abel Leaning - click 5. ILW MC (Feens!) striding menacingly through an alley - click 6. Eiko x MOTY MC cover edit - click 7. Abel x ILW MC (Hilkka) reading by a tree - click 8. Blades MC (Raine) flying on a drake - click 9. Blades MC (Maiele), Tyril, and Imtura in battle - click

Sprite Edits (Part 1!):

1. Abel in Rowan's glasses - click 2. Sleeveless Abel with long hair - click 3. Long-hair Abel in a flower crown - click 4. ILW MC in Abel's sweater - click 5. Pirate Abel #1 - click 6. Pirate Abel #2 - click 7. Pirate Abel #3 - click 8. Horror Abel - click ⚠️BODY HORROR ⚠️ 9. Grandpa Abel - click 10. Crying Abel - click ⚠️DEATH AND ILW SPOILERS ⚠️ 11. Bearded Abel and beardless Lincoln - click 12. Merman Abel - click 13. Abel x ILW MC heist suits - click 14. Amalia dressed as her younger self - click 15. Lincoln dressed as his younger self - click 16. Beckett (TE) as a wood nymph - click 17. Lincoln as an elf - click 18. Tom as a mage - click 19. Jean Jacket Lincoln with his hair down - click 20. Nik Ryder if he was in ATV - click 21. ILW MC (Vax) lookbook - click ⚠️ILW SPOILERS ⚠️ 22. ILW MC (Vax) expressions - click 23. ILW MC (Vax) in the ILW ballroom dress - click 24. ILW MC (Vax) in an immortal desires dress - click ⚠️ILW SPOILERS ⚠️ 25. ILW MC (Rowan) as a snow queen - click 26. TE MC (Anitha) as a mermaid - click 27. Blades MC as a shadow court member - click 28. Desire and Decorum MC as a fairy - click 29. ILW MC (Vax) pride edits - click

Sprite Edits (Part 2!)

30. Lincoln x MC edits - click⚠️ILW SPOILERS ⚠️ 31. ILW MC's Goth Mom - click

Misc. Edits:

1. Rheya (BB) fragment piece, with the cracks removed - click ⚠️BLOOD AND BLOODBOUND B2 SPOILERS⚠️ 2. Abel Valentines Cards - click 3. Abel Moodboard - click 4. Gaius (BB) fragment piece, with the cracks removed - click ⚠️BLOOD, DEAD PEOPLE, AND BLOODBOUND B1 SPOILERS⚠️

Memes

1. Abel vs Horror Connor - click 2. Abel, Jocelyn, and ILW mc - someone will die... - click 3. Horror Connor when you flirt with more than one person - click 4. Abel, Annie, and mentioned MC - she thinks it's fancy? - click 5. Lincoln x MC - a smile might be nice... - click 6. Devon, Power MC - I'm literally shaking.. - click 7. Abel x MC - no principles - click 8. MC and most LIs - please sir, can I have some more? - click 9. Lincoln x MC - breakfast takes a turn - click 10. Abel and Lincoln - on the matter of sleep.. click 11. ILW MC - the key to happiness.. click 12. Abel & ILW MC - frown meme uno reverse (follow up to #5) - click