#(an attitude that i have a hard time believing you don't apply to all the characters. especially mew)

[forcebookish]

feel like i'm being gaslighted by the ofs fandom like where are all these wild think pieces coming from we can't possibly be watching the same ONE EPISODE of the same drama

anyway,

[brigdh]

I want to talk about Izzy's rant to Ed in episode 10, the one that brings out the Kraken. I've seen a lot of different descriptions of what is going on in this scene – death threat, homophobic slurs, etc – and I don't think either of those are what's actually what's happening.

Let's look at it closely, line by line, and the way Ed reacts, from the very beginning of the scene.

Ed: Well, feels nice to tidy up a little. Can't believe I was living like this. Can you, Iz? Izzy? Izzy: I'm going to speak plainly. Ed: Wonderful. You know we share our thoughts on this ship.

Izzy, cont: This, whatever it is that you've become... is a fate worse than death.

Okay. So there we've got what some have interpreted as a death threat. But does Ed seem threatened? He's startled, certainly, put on his back foot – literally – but he doesn't look afraid or alarmed to me. He draws in a slow breath, assessing the situation, but overall seems more confused than frightened.

In fact he laughs it off with his next line:

Izzy then escalates the level of aggression in the conversation:

But Ed, again, looks more confused than anything. Check out that furrowed brow, that head tilt! This is a man going "what is your deal?", not a man thinking "uh-oh, you might kill me!".

Extremely noticeably, even when Izzy storms right up into his face, Ed holds steady. He doesn't run, doesn't lean back, doesn't hunch his shoulders or drop eye contact – there is no vulnerability or defensiveness in Ed's body language at all. Ed is in supreme control of this confrontation – look at the slow way he deigns to turn back to the paper Izzy's holding! As though he's making the point that he chooses when to turn, not Izzy:

Then we have the "homophobic slur". But watch closely:

Ed does not react to "namby-pamby", "silk gown", or "pining" at all. He doesn't even blink. He barely seems like he's hearing Izzy. His entire attention is on the picture.

Ed's body language and behavior changes at one word and one word only, and that is "boyfriend". As soon as Izzy says it, Ed's furious:

(It's even easier to notice when you actually watch the scene instead of using gifs, because Izzy really draws out 'piiiiiiining', putting a lot of time between the first half of the sentence and 'boyfriend'.)

Why is the use of the word 'boyfriend' so important?

Well, what has Ed been doing all episode? He's been crying in a blanket fort and singing sad songs, yes, but he's been keeping a careful level of mystique about why he's doing it. Ed often uses distanced circumlocutions instead of directly acknowledging his emotions, but he's doing it in this episode even more so than usual:

Here are the lyrics to his song:

(Version one, with Lucius) Hanging on By a thread Hanging on Shouldn't let go If I let go, all will fall Fingers bleeding down to the bone now Can't let go Nothing makes sense Hold on Hold on Hold... on

(Version two, performed for the whole crew) Just let go Make yourself let go Make it go away Away, away today Life's a hard sad death And then you're Deaaad

Notice something? There is no mention of Stede, or love, or break-ups, or abandonments, or relationships in general. All Ed discusses is a vague life-sucks attitude, which could apply to basically anyone under any circumstances. He seems pretty okay with people knowing that Blackbeard is having some sort of weird emotional breakdown as long as he convinces himself that no one knows it's specifically from having his heart broken

This is true of everything Ed says and does for this entire episode. He never once even mentions Stede's name, unless "Farewell, Bonnet's playthings" at the very end counts. The only thing Ed openly admits to feeling bad about is a fictional character who's having a hard time "holding on" (holding on to what? he never says). There are no allusions to heartbreak or romance anywhere in his dialogue.

Now, Ed's not stupid. I'm sure he knows Izzy and Lucius and the rest of the crew can connect the dots and realize that something bad happened with Stede, even if Ed doesn't fill them in on the details. But Ed is also traumatized, and has a whole host of coping mechanisms set up to help him avoiding thinking about things that he doesn't want to think about. If he's not a murderer because "technically the fire killed those guys", then no one knows he's heartbroken because technically he hasn't acknowledged it.

Until Izzy says the word 'boyfriend'. Suddenly the secret is out, and Ed can't handle it. Izzy knows his weakness. That's why this word effects Ed more than anything else Izzy says in the whole scene.

At the end of the confrontation, he hears the crew calling for another song. Look at Ed here. He looks as haunted, as disturbed, in this moment as he does at any point in Izzy's rant.

This is an important part of the scene, not just a closing note. Because if Izzy (the Caribbean's most emotionally constipated man) can see through him, obviously the whole crew can too.

Obviously Lucius – who advised Ed on his and Stede's relationship, who played along with Ed's 'fictional character' claim, who wrote down Ed's lyrics – can do so most of all.

There's a direct emotional logic to Ed killing Lucius because he had a fight with Izzy, and it doesn't involve Ed having been threatened or hate crime'd at all. Ed doesn't deal well with his own feelings (from Stede), so he chooses to become Blackbeard/the Kraken and gets rid of all the witnesses who saw otherwise.

[blossomthepinkbunny]

Vivzepop will always be the biggest issue with her own show if she doesn't change. And i'm not saying that because I desperately want to shit on her but rather because it's so clear that her attitude is what made Hazbin Hotel be so dissapointing after the long wait. The pilot released four years ago and Viv had these characters for much longer than that. One could assume that with this much time on her hands she would have a concise plan for how a series of her story would play out (I can imagine that having an own show is a dream for lots of creative people out there). And I get that that plan might get screwed up by a shorter episode count then expected, but she should be the one who knows her story best and who should know what stuff could also be cut out. The first season of Hazbin Hotel is so incredibly overstuffed with characters and plot that it completely looses the main premise the show was originally pitched with (the idea of a hotel were sinners are redeemed. As it is now the hotel is really not important at all). People have talked endlessly about how Viv can't handle criticism and it really sucks because criticism is one of the best ways to improve your writing, drawings, music etc. Without criticism you won't refine the thing you're working on in a meaningful way. Of course it feels bad when you put something out there you wanted to share and then people critique it, but that's part of pretty much every creative journey, or atleast it should be and Vivzepop shouldn't get a pass from this just because she doesn't like it. And there are great shows, movies or books that are rarely or almost never criticised. But the artists behind these works probably went trough years of honing what they do by being criticised for the stuff they put out. And I don't want to say that Vivzepop didn't work hard to make Hazbin Hotel, but it is hard to claim that she improves in her craft, when everytime someone says they don't like her show she throws a hissy fit. She wants the same reactions that these other amazing pieces of media get without ever listening to criticism. Which she sees as a personal attack rather than a tool that could help her to achieve the same level of writing prowess the creators behind media like that have. She believes she is already on the same level as them, just because she basically shuts anyone out who disagrees with her. There's this clip at the end of a Drew Gooden Video which I think sums up the situation with Viv pretty good (the Video is called "Leaving the YouTube Bubble"). He is talking about Lily Singh and her talk show but I feel like a lot of the stuff he says about handling criticism applies to Vivzepop as well.

(you might have to turn up the audio).

Unprofessional behaviour like that might be excusable when the creator is pretty young or they are interacting with publicity for the first time really. But neither of that applies to Viv. And Hazbin Hotel isn't just an indie animation pilot on youtube anymore. It's now a fully realized show created with a pretty prominent studio on a major streaming network and it should be held to the same standards as other shows or movies alike (not saying indie animation or animation on youtube doesn't have a standard but with more budget and support, there's obviously going to be different expectations for the show now). There have been issues in Helluva Boss and the Hazbin Hotel pilot ever since their release which could've been handled with more time and the new show. But Vivzepop shows time and time again that she isn't willing to listen to people who criticise her, which could actually lead to her show getting better. I don't like Viv or her work a lot. I think she is incredibly unprofessional and she has done her fair share of questionable or problematic stuff, which often leads to issues in her shows. There have been some characters I like, some songs or scenes that were pretty well done, very cool animation and an actually interesting premise on paper in HH and HB. There are things that make me come back to these shows to watch the next episode. And i'm obviously passionate enough about these shows to make whole posts about what I think was done badly and what could be changed. But for the aspects of HH or HB I enjoy, there are soo many more problems I have with it. Problems that won't go away unless Viv stops seeing every criticism as a personal attack. Because if Vivzepop doesn't stop acting like her writing is some unreachable stuff that needs no changes I don't really see a point in assuming that these shows will ever get better.

[wake-me-up-inside-imagines]

hello! I hope you're okay. Can I request the headcannons of the romantic relationship of Juuzou Suzuya x reader? He is truly my favorite manga character Please be happy and receive love!💕

Aww thank you! We need more Juuzou lovers on this site! I hope you're having a wonderful day!

Juuzou Suzuya relationship headcannons

warnings: none

-Juuzou is... a very interesting partner

-Don't get me wrong, he's a wonderful boyfriend, he's just a tad bit messed up

-He's always touching you, holding your hand, draping himself over your lap or shoulder, sometimes he'll even jump onto you shoulders and let you carry him around

-He just loves you so much, he needs to be as close to you as possible at all times!

-Loveessss kissing you! his favorite thing to do is surprise attack you with kisses when you least expect it

- They're mostly short, sweet pecks on the mouth or cheek, but they are full of energy and passion so you don't mind

-He loves it when you trace his stitches! It feels nice to him, sometimes it even puts him to sleep

-Speaking of sleeping, this man is a wildcard, and that applies to his sleeping habits

-Sometimes, he'll sleep at night, and then sometimes he falls asleep in the middle of the day with no warning, you can't predict when it will happen, it just does

-The same applies to his cuddling habits whilst sleeping, any and every position you can think of he will do over the course of the night

-If you work for the CCG, he finds time during every shift to pop in and say hello, ask for kisses, steal your snacks, see what case your working...

-He does worry more over his partner if they work at the CCG, especially after the mission that sent Shinohara into a coma, so you'd best believe he's keeping his eye on you

- Refuses to let you on dangerous missions without him (he's scared you'll get hurt), and he absolutely will throw a fit at the higher ups if they try to separate you

-It's hard to tell he worries though, he makes sure to keep up his carefree attitude so you don't catch on

-Shows you off to EVERYONE. The quinx squad (and everyone else) are bombarded with comments about you

-"Hey! Haise, look at how beautiful my Y/N looks today!"

-"Juuzou, they look beautiful, but you've shown me this picture seven times today..."

-It takes a very long time for Juuzou to open up to you, he has a lot of trauma and he would rather ignore it than talk about it

-Eventually though, he'll reveal bits and pieces of his life before telling you everything

-Loves going on fun little dates with you! He has so much energy, so he enjoys going out and doing things rather than staying at home

-You're the only person he will share his snacks with (truly the highest honor)

-All and all, he loves you, and he doesn't plan on letting you go anytime soon

[thescienceofdeductionn]

Stoic Perspective

This post will be some kind of addition to mindset, but also very important part. You might be wondering how it is related to deduction and Sherlock Holmes but even though we don't see Sherlock talking about Stoicism, he follows it in most cases. (Mixed with Cynicism which started around the time Diogenes lived.) So, let's see how Sherlock uses and how we can use it in our daily life.

Remember this episode? Season 1 Episode 3. Sherlock solves 5 cases in a row with some time constraints, stress factors, etc. In one scene, Watson asks, "There are lives at stake Sherlock! Actual human lives. Just so I know, do you care about that all?" and Sherlock answers with a brilliant answer: "Will caring about them help save them?" and Watson says "Nope." and then Sherlock says "Then I will continue not to make that mistake." Obviously, they show it like Sherlock doesn't care about anyone and is an egocentric narcissistic robot but that is certainly not the case. If you watch other adaptations(Granada, Elementary or even the books)Sherlock cares about other people, but not in a way normal people do. I am pointing out this scene because it shows us the attitude and mindset of Sherlock. Let's see how we can apply this in real life:

1-Caring without Emotions

"Emotional qualities are antagonistic to clear reasoning." -Sherlock Holmes

After watching Sherlock we shouldn't try to be like Sherlock, especially if we don't understand how he thinks. When he says, caring won't save them it doesn't mean he doesn't care. It just means it is not relevant and emotions won't help them in any way because it will cloud his thinking and deductions. So, what can you do in situations where stress is high and your emotions come to the surface?

1-Recognize them: Don't suppress or act like you don't have them. Just realize they are there and act accordingly. If you say "There is nothing wrong with me. I don't feel any emotions right now..." then you won't be aware of the affect they have on you.

2-Think Clearly: It is easy to say but hard to do. How can we think clearly? What does it mean? It means you have to use the relevant data and eliminate what is not. If you want to think clearly, you have to recognize your feelings, emotions etc. You have to be aware of them at every step so that when they are affecting your reasoning, you can overcome them and keep going.

3-Follow Your Logic

Sherlock doesn't call Moriarty after he solves the case because he wants to use time advantage. He wants to work on other cases and because of that, he doesn't call Moriarty. Watson is reacting with emotions and says this woman was covered with bombs all this time. Although Sherlock cares about the woman, he follows the logic. If he uses the time to his advantage, he can save more than one life but if he reacts with emotions, he will just save one. So, use your logic and act accordingly.

2-Perspective For Problems "External things are not the problem. It's your assessment of them. Which you can erase right now." -Marcus Aurelius

This can change a lot of things about how you see your problems. Let's say you have a lot of work to do and after a long day you are going home. When you arrive there, you realize your house is on fire? How would you react?

I believe, most of us would be full of emotions. Why did this happen to me? Why is life not fair? My life is over. What will I do now?

But if we just can change our perspective and practice it in our daily life we would have a very different and constructive response to the situation. Now, here is the perspective I am talking about:

Now think about the same scenario. You see that your house is on fire. You think "Can I do something about it?"->"Yes. I can call the fire department." or "No. It is too late. Everything is turned to ash." In both cases, you don't have to worry because it is already done. You can't travel back in time so you have to create your plans for the future. You can't waste time thinking about the past because it will limit your capacity to act on the future.

If you use this perspective in every situation, eventually it will become automatic and your emotional reactions will not be as strong as it is now. This way, you will be able to use your logic more easily and solve the problem you have.(Or you will stop worrying if you don't have a problem.) This is probably the fundamental perspective of Stoicism.

3-Expressing Emotions

I won't go deep into the Jungian Shadow or deep psychology of the emotions and suppressing etc but we have to be aware of this fact: The fact that if you don't express your emotions in some way, it will come out later bigger than it was.(Also, you won't be in control.)

If you watched Elementary, you know that almost in every episode Sherlock express his emotions to Watson.(Or to someone else. Which by the way is a more human adaptation of Sherlock.)He talks with her about what he feels and thinks about the situation because he can't deal with them alone. We can't deal with them alone too so we have to find some ways to express them. Here are some basic ones: 1-Talking to your Watson

If you have someone you are close to, then talk to them. Explain your feelings and emotions as clear as you can be.

2-Keeping a Journal

You won't always have an opportunity to talk with somebody so you need to talk with yourself clearly, which is what journaling does. You use words and getting things out of your head so you can analyze them more clearly. Just write and then read them aloud.

3-Physicality

If you like to work out, run, go to the gym or do any physical activity, do it. It is especially useful for anger and sadness. Try and find whatever works for you.

So, that is a general look at emotions and how to live with them. After you read this, you won't immediately detach from your emotions and act with your logic. This post is not enough, so you have to do your own reading. Some suggestions for reading: Meditations-Marcus Aurelius (Excellent example of journaling in a stoic way.) The Handbook-Epictetus Ryan Holiday's books(All relates to Stoicism)

And one last thing. Always remember these wise words:

"You have power over your mind, not outside events. Realize this and you will find strength." -Marcus Aurelius

[skoulsons]

Analyzing?? :) This is a long one again. And their second scene at the end of episode is really just gonna serve as a second parter to this bc there’s CONNECTIONS. I was going to make a cut and put this all below it, but tumblr was like deleting it so..no cut

“Ah, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.”

Immediate reaction to her applying pressure to his wound is to grab her, hard. She reacts to it, hence her swears because he’s hurting her. But she would never tell him to stop because he’s in a lot of pain and can’t get it out any other way, so she lets him. But I think Joel recognizes he is hurting her. When it cuts to Joel’s face (possible continuity thing, but we’ll say no for the sake of overanalyzing bc this is my blog), he just has the side of his hand pressed, albeit hard, against her arm as opposed to gripping it. He recognized he was hurting her and tried to change to keep from continuing. He’s also trying to be quiet despite his very obvious need to scream about how much pain he’s in because he’s bleeding out with no medicine, no clean materials, and nothing to even try and disinfect his wound with.

“Come on, you gotta help me. Come on!”

baby, he is in a lot of pain. I don't know how much more pressure he can add. But I also think, in a way, she’s saying this to keep him awake and giving him something to do while she goes upstairs to look for something. She can’t have him passing back out, not with a life threatening injury, so she tries to give him something to do.

And something else (and I’m not the first person to recognize this), he’s trying to be quiet still. He could scream blood murder because he wants to because this hurts, but he’s trying to

“Leave. Leave.’

“Shut up, Joel.”

“Take the gun-”

“Joel, shut the fuck up!”

He is begging her to leave. Pleading with her as much as he can muster to get out. To leave him. To grab the rifle, because she can shoot, and go. He was just trying to leave her last episode because he was terrified for her and her safety because he knows he’ll kill her. And now, he’s begging her to leave him because he may kill her like this. It’s a harsh winter. She is giving him their warmth, food, and water. She is not taking care of herself the whole time because his life is on the line, and he is what matters. And knowing there is infected out there and people who she is all alone to defend herself against? She is capable to an extent, yes, but not to a group. Him being out like this could kill her, and he can’t risk that, not a single chance of it, so he tells her to leave him. Because he can’t fail her again, and dying while she’s still with him and not safe with Tommy is yet another fail.

And she tells him to shut up because what else is she supposed to do? She knows he’s trying to push her away because he just did it like a week prior to this. He can’t let people care about him, let alone letting them in in the first place. And this tiny, little girl was let in (with a little shove against that hard exterior of his) and she cares about him, more than he understands. That feeling being mutual and oh so complicated. No one since Tess has cared about him like this. But it goes deeper than that because this is a kid. His kid, now. She shouldn't ever need to do this or want to do this, but that’s the circumstances of their world, and he can’t help that. He can’t help the size of her heart or the fact that she cares so much about him because he did first. Through his protection, reassurances, and selfless caring in how he treated her, she grew to, too. And he never wanted that. Even now, the two of them being a ‘we’ now, she still shouldn’t have to because he’s the caretaker, and he’s failing.

“You go. You go. You go north. You go to Tommy. You go.”

This. This is a father’s anger. The absolute certainty and seriousness and the listen-to-me attitude. He needs her to leave. Because, like we’ve all discussed on a number of occasions, she is his weakness and he is her strength. And he does not believe he is that to her, especially not on the level he truly is. But beyond this, he needs her safe, as I already mentioned. So he grabs her and pulls her to him so she sees and hears him. He shakes her his second “you go” because he needs her to listen to him. He needs her gone, as much as it kills him to. But her safety is his first and highest concern, even if it means separating. He is willing to be separated from her and die alone in a cold basement if it means she gets to safety and is able to fulfill her journey.

This is after he shoves her and there’s already the glimmer of a tear in the corner of his eye. He does not want to send her away. He wants to be responsible for her. He wants to stay with her. He wants to hold her and he wants them to be okay. But he has to, for her safety. He reacts with force and he shoves her away, rejecting her care. Rejecting her help. And he just shoved her. Joel “ever so gentle with his little girl” Miller just shoved that little girl away from him, and that hurts.

Even after being shoved away from him, she doesn’t walk away in anger. No. No, she stands and lets her hand fall to his, just to brush against his. Despite being angry, upset, fearful, and pretty amazed at the fact that he’s still trying to get rid of her and won’t let her just take care of him, she lays a brief hand on his. Comfort? Reassurance? “You’re an asshole, but I still love you”?

And she moves to his coat, which I imagine she took off to better access his injury, and lays it across him. She evens it out across is abdomen and brings it all the way up to his chin to keep him as warm as possible. And Joel (pedro you mastermind I hate you) looks in…disbelief? Absolute unparalleled love at her that she loves him just the same? He just physically shoved her away. He has been nothing but physically gentle with her their whole journey, and now he just grabbed and shoved her away to reinforce his point. And in response, she quickly touches his hand and then lays his coat over him, covering him up to the chin. She is kind to him even after what he did, what he’s trying to do, and it’s almost insane to him. He’s used to violence. He’s used to using force and being given force back. And when he uses every ounce of power he has to use that force against Ellie to push her away, he is met with her kindness and unending care for him

They watch each other for a minute, no spoken words, and Ellie walks away. And he sheds a tear watching her go. His breath gets rapid and shaky, in part because he’s cold and losing blood and dying, but he’s watching her walk away and thinks she actually is going. That she is leaving. That they’re done, for good. That this little girl that is so important to him and that he loves way, way too much is leaving. And he watches her, thinking she’ll be the last thing he gets to see before he dies. He burns her into his memory, so that even after she’s gone and safe, a part of her is still with him. That he can picture her clearly in his mind to keep coming back to as he fades away.

And Ellie waits at the top of the stairs, but only for a moment. She waits. Does she think about what he said? Maybe for a split second, but no more. She needs him, but more than that she wants him. She wants to keep going with him. And, as much as he may hate it, that means suffering through it at his side and freezing through the nights just so he has a chance of surviving. She sits on what he told her, but she won’t listen because It’s him. Because It’s them. And that connection, that relationship, is worth it all

[aurora-313]

I've been openly critical of Thousand Year Blood War since its weekly manga release way back in late 2010s. It was so immemorable that I'd legitimately forgotten it, and by extension Bleach, existed until the announcement in 2022.

The revelations presented require so much backreading and contradicts earlier established facts, it make it difficult to tolerate. Interpersonal reveals reflect incredibly poorly on many characters, demonstrating in some cases outright negligent tendencies in their duty of care towards others and themselves.

(Masaki, Isshin, you don't have to tell him everything but its not hard to teach your god-child basic safety and the supernatural equivalent of 'don't run in oncoming traffic'. The fact neither did of you did, makes you damned irresponsible parents imo. Almost like your powers were retconned into existence without thinking through the rammifications, huh?).

The sum total of my issues are too numerous to mention but my biggest issue is theme of fate in Bleach; how it applies to Ichigo's desire for self-determination and how TYBW in particular gleefully pisses all over that.

While fate and destiny can be aspiring things, they are by definition traps. Confines. Set parameters that must be fulfilled. As a result two primary attitudes exist in response; one must rise to meet the occasion gloriously or defy it to forge one's own path (success varies).

Ichigo's opinion has always fallen into the latter category.

Ichigo wanted to destroy fate. Wanted to negate its unfairness. To remove its strangling shackles from his life and those he cares for. To quote:

If fate is a milestone, then we are the grist. There is nothing we can do. So I wish for strength. If I cannot protect them from the wheel, then give me a strong blade, and enough strength... to shatter fate.

In essence this is how Ichigo wants express his agency and self-determination, by protecting others. He wants to defend the downtrodden from the unfairness ugliness of reality. An agency he gains through obtaining Shinigami power from Rukia.

Or so he believes.

Problem is, every arc and especially TYBW exposes that theme as a total lie.

Whenever Ichigo believes he's expressing agency to combat whatever ill fortunate awaits those he wishes to protect, he is in fact playing into the hands of others.

He believes he's making an active choice to defend and guard and protect, but in reality Ichigo has never had a choice in anything, merely the illusion of one. Worst of all Ichigo never realizes most of his choices are illusions.

With every subsequent arc, the sad truth is that Ichigo is enslaved to fate. Shackled to its designs since the dawn of reality. Enchained by the literal gods and devils on his shoulder. At one point, fate even turns Ichigo's own body against him as his Quincy blood forces him to slay the previous Soul King.

In his drive to break fate's confines, Ichigo becomes its ultimate poster boy and enforcer.

But in a sad yet classic prophetic twist; Ichigo believes he's actively fighting an unfair destiny.

A destiny written by the Soul King's Almighty eons ago.

In a word, the Almighty is omniscience. First held by the Soul King and later Yhwach.

Conceptually, omniscience and free will cannot co-exist. The world is self-determination or pre-destination. There's no middle ground.

This in mind; the Soul King knew precisely how he would die. He knew a Shiba scion would eventually gain the power to release him from his torment eons upon eons after his sealing under the compulsion of Yhwach's Quincy blood, then slay Yhwach to replace him.

In other words, Ichigo's desire for self-determination was the greatest lie of this story. His every action and reaction were predicted and cemented since the dawn of time. Taken to its logical extreme, Ichigo arguably had no free will at all (absolutely fitting because he reads like a damn automaton in the last arc). He's a pre-programmed organic robot blindly following the path set before him by his creators, there's no error codes (ie. questions or hesitations) because his programmers told him exactly the right command prompts to set him loose.

And almost as the ultimate spit in the face for Ichigo's futile wish for agency in his own fate? Yhwach curses him in the end. Cursed Ichigo with a prophesy that at the moment of his greatest happiness, Yhwach will return to crush it to dust.

Meaning Ichigo is now destined to carry that curse for the rest of his days, his days as a human, his days as a soul, possibly even after his soul death and winding up in hell.

By the avatar of fate's own command, Ichigo is never permitted to find true happiness again.

Which actually rather neatly explains why Ichigo seemingly retired from shinigami work after the war concluded. And a rather damning indication of his marriage to Orihime and his own son.

When is Ichigo at his happiest? When he's engaged with the spirit world. What's he done in the ten year timeskip? Cut himself off from the spirit world. When does Yhwach show up again? The first time Ichigo engages with the spirit world after ten long years.

All told, its a rather tragic tale, isn't it?

Then again, I suppose that could be Kubo's intention. The more Ichigo tries to fight fate, the more fate bitch slaps him and tells him 'get back in your lane.' And Ichigo, after years of being thoroughly defanged, bows his head and obeys.

If that's so, then I congratulate him on delivering such a tragic despair-filled message.

[diiwata]

i absolutely loved reading your response! you brought up such good points that are so important to consider! i was wondering if you would be willing to elaborate on how you think culture will impact clemensia’s future (and maybe how it affected her/her families reaction to the snake bite?) thank you!

hello lils!!! eek, I hope my answer will suffice. sorry for the delay, it takes a while for me to piece my words together 🫢 this is mostly based on book!clemmie with the movie!clemmie casting, but I think some of these things can be applied to movie!clemmie

to me, clemmie is a ticking time bomb. the reputation, compliance, family, and mental health stigma are all factors that play into her life. my interpretation of her future is under the cut!

I see the snake bite as a fuse. the thing that makes clemmie disillusioned to everything she's ever believed. working hard leads to success, but in a world as unfair as panem, it's a lot more complex than that. respect authority, and don't take seniority lightly. that's what we've always been taught. it's ingrained in our heads. so, for her to put her trust in an authority figure (gaul) only to have that trust betrayed is the fuse.

reputation (not the way I grew up, at least) is very important. I can imagine that her family would do everything to maintain this secret, even going as far as working with gaul. "we don't want any trouble," i can hear them say. i mean, clemmie must've gotten her try-hard and people-pleasing attitude from someone. of course, she also doesn't want any trouble. she doesn't want to cause conflict. i can see her wanting the same as them. it's all she's ever known, after all. so, she complies.

mental health is also heavily stigmatized in asian cultures, so the continuous act of maintaining appearances would definitely have a toll on her. however, compliance is the only thing she knows. it's also the only thing her family knows. she is expected to not only keep up appearances for herself, but also for her family. the dynasty they've built. the reputation they accumulated by simply being polite. "the dovecotes are so likeable and loyal!"

she'd probably find comfort in the stability her job in the government offers. have a family, work with coriolanus, and feel a bit of weight lifted off her shoulders when dr. gaul dies. however... clemmie is STILL a bomb with a lot of unpacked trauma and no way of healthily navigating her feelings. it's ingrained in our heads that family is the only one you should trust. so, if they say you don't need mental health help, then they're probably right. your parents are older, anyway.

it gets too much for her. the secrets, the inside jobs, the assassinations, the corruption of panem. clemmie doesn't even trust the therapist coriolanus refers her, too. what if someone was listening, and she was next?! no. keep doing what you're doing. don't let change get in the way of your comfort.

her disillusionment might make her want to join the rebellion, but she is just so, so, so comfortable where she is right now. joining would mean turning away from everything her family built. she has no identity outside of that, so if it all collapses, and she was the reason, then who the hell even IS clemensia dovecote? the passive girl that never had an opinion for herself?

I believe that if she joined the rebellion, a part of her would hesitate, she'd accidentally let something slip, and coriolanus deals with her. she'd have to be really, really strong in her belief of the cause to commit. she'd have to be absolutely SURE in the cause's victory. if she didn't join the rebellion, then she'd likely end up being part of the execution of capitol officials. all that work for nothing.

and yeah! that's my depressing interpretation of her! a part of me wants to believe that the snake bite led to her switching sides, but who knows what suzanne has in mind for her!

[naumin]

PAIN!!!!!!!! & hypermobility. an update

so over the last 5 years i've developed a bunch of chronic pain conditions. are they getting better? kind of no not really but i have some answers now i didn't at the start and i'm writing a post about them in case it helps somebody in a similar situation 🫶

so at the beginning i started getting pain in my shoulder - it's honestly hard to say if it's muscular or joint-related but what i've gathered is it doesn't really matter in my case. the pain is constant even at rest and sleeping. i had massages, applied topical pain relief and saw a few physios over the years who advised me to stretch and gave me some exercises aimed at strengthening the trapezius and rotator cuff muscles, which i tried to keep up with somewhat but fell off because they were awkward and not engaging (sue me). i also couldn't afford to see each physio more than once lol so i didn't have any follow-up appointments to keep me on track, plus i was working jobs that made my pain worse every day so i just wanted to lie in da bed tbh.

my pain would get worse, i would lose strength and the ability to do different activities and for as long as i used to, but i believed it was all bcus i was inconsistent with my exercises/stretching and i just needed to give it a proper go before i pay to see a professional about it yet again. this went on for YEARS dawg.

eventually i left my job and was doing yoga consistently every morning. and it wasn't helping... i wasn't getting better. oops. on top of this i started getting super awesome debilitating ⚡NERVE PAIN⚡ so i went and saw a physio for it and she said something interesting to me.

she said i might be hypermobile -- meaning i was really flexible and had a really good range of motion, but a lot of instability and pain in my joints. we honestly didn't focus on that much bcus i was more concerned about shooting pains and numbness in my hand and fingers (carpal tunnel) but it was something ppl had said to me over the years. i could rotate my shoulder 360° even though it felt really stiff and locked up. lots of "wow you're really flexible! i can't find the source of the pain"

so over the summer i started looking into hypermobility more. i think this video sums things up in a way that's easy to understand. it was a really hard time for me. a lot of crying while doing the gentlest pilates routine on youtube. turns out all the stretching and yoga and 'push yourself to the limit' attitude around exercise was rly hurting me. i started focusing on building my strength by lifting weights, and i mean really light weights like 500g, 1kg, 2kg on a good day, just in my house following routines online. and that has really helped with my pain. of course it's been years of it getting worse and affecting all the joints in my arm now (elbow, wrist is a hot mess, finger joints) so it's slow going and i do get pain while lifting -- even though the stupid doctor doesn't believe i score high enough to count as hypermobile, i've been referred to a physio now who says i definitely am, in my upper body at least (u can be hypermobile in different areas, did u know that?) -- anyway he says some pain is to be expected but as long as i don't overdo it to the point where i'm in agony even at rest then keep going. i'm lucky my condition allows me to do this much.

and that's the thing, the more you avoid doing because of your pain, the less you're capable of doing. i avoided a lot of activity because i thought it would do permanent damage to my body. but it's kind of the opposite, funnily enough... so the healing is freaking hard work, and it's painful. i am still in a lot of pain ✌️ but i'm really thankful to have an idea of what da fuck is going on now, and i cried a lot to my friends and family who support me... and it's the weedy spindly artists online who talked about how lifting weights has helped them who inspired me to start. so i hope this longass post can help somebody too... love u. PEACE

[paragonrobits]

"One thing you will unfortunately have to combat," Iroh says, slowly walking a meandering path around a pond, Aang walking beside him, the both of them moving at a similar steady pace. "Is that far too many people of the age believe that the will to harm, and ruthlessness as a whole, is a sign of maturity."

Aang sighs, tilting his head up towards the stars. His expression is solemn, his face young, and his eyes unbelievably old. There is wisdom there; wisdom from a century ago, and echoes of wisdom even older than that, going all the way back to the foundation of the world.

The wisdom of the Avatar is something built from pain. The pain of past lives, the pain of countless generations that will not learn or are made to forget, the pain that comes from a thousand sources. The world is locked into an endless cycle, he thinks, and that cycle turns on pain.

"I think too many of the world's problems today," Aang says, in the soft and steady tones of one who is stating a fact that he ill likes, but does not ignore. "Is that people keep saying things like 'harmony and spirituality don't matter, all that matters is that we do whatever it takes to get what we want'."

"Indeed." Iroh stops, turning and looking at the water. His eyes seem younger than the Avatar's. For a moment, they almost glow with dragon-flame, or a mirror to the sun. It's a different sort of fire than that burning in most of his countrymen these days.

"I'd guess Sozin thought something like that, back before I went into the ice," Aang says.

The grandson of Sozin nods somberly. "It's one of the great illusions we see in these days," Iroh suggests. Something in tone implies that he may be thinking out loud; wondering, pondering, guessing at things that he cannot definitely say for sure. Pain, and uncertainty; that is the hallmark of the world today. "Thinking that because you are a different one from your enemy, that doing the same things as them doesn't carry a risk of repeating the harm they bring, because its you doing it, not them."

Aang nods. He is silent, for a time, and then he speaks. His words bear the weight of a great distance, and Iroh knows that he has made some kind of a connection, or an old fear. "Do you know the death toll of the Fire Nation navy at the battle of the Nothern Water Tribe?"

"Yes." Iroh gives Aang a concerned side glance. "Do you?"

Aang breathes in deeply. He looks down, calmly, at his hands, and his expression is tired, and looks older than he should.

It was not his will that happened there. He was the channel, that was all. Through him, the Ocean Spirit did as it willed, as was its right.

Nonetheless, it was his hands that had carried the deed. It was hard, to remember it, to accept it.

"Yes," the Avatar says simply.

Iroh is silent, and waits for the Avatar to speak.

When he does, he gives a heavy sigh. Aang continues, "I know that in the future, people are probably going to write about the... the Ocean Spirit being wrong. That it was vicious, or cruel, or that it might have attacked the Water Tribe too if things had been just a little different. Judging the Ocean by human attitudes, by the way humans have to be."

"And what do you think?" Iroh asks.

"That the Ocean Spirit isn't human," Aang says. "That the spiritual rightness of humans doesn't apply to the Ocean. Something like... our ways are not their ways. And in any event, things like how abstaining from the slaying of another liberates people from the ties of the world, or the flow of pain in the world... I don't think that CAN apply to spirits, at least not the world-defining ones like the Ocean. They are what they are. Their natures are tied TO how they are a part of the world. It's not really about making a moral decision for the Ocean Spirit. It's simply doing what it does."

"And as humans, it is our duty to seek harmony with the spirits, and the nations of humanity," Iroh says, stroking his beard; he strikes the image of an old master, and together with Aang he looks the part of a master and pupil. And yet, it is the reverse; there is so much he does not know, and that Aang does. He is the student, and the young man the teacher. "If the Fire Navy had not attacked with intent of conquest, they would have lived, and the Ocean Spirit would have no need to take retribution."

There was a certain way to things; if one wronged a spirit, it had to take retribution. It was like a pendulum; if you pulled it far enough back and let go, it would have to swing the other way just as far. It was simply the shape of the world. It was human error to attribute human morality to gravity moving the way it did. And it was greater human error to expect the most ancient and mighty spirits to abide by flawed human belief that the nations were fundamentally separate.

Aang's expression was solemn. For a moment, a thousand lifetimes of understanding shone forth, and beyond that there was an intelligence far older than that; the world itself in human form, regarding itself.

It was a look of sorrow. Sometimes that was the only response to human foolishness.

[b-courageous1010]

Day 15: The Principles of Mindful Productivity  

Since starting my career journey, I have been focused on being productive and focusing on how to get the most out of my productivity habits at work and in my personal life. Still, like most people, I've been doing it rather unsustainable. The long hours, always being on the go, and pushing out as much output as possible, have led to burnout multiple times. When starting my current role, I decided this time will be different, and I will take steps to avoid experiencing burnout.   

This goal has led me down the rabbit hole that is mindful productivity. Mindful productivity is defined as being consciously present in what you're doing while you are doing it and calmly acknowledging and accepting your feelings and thoughts when engaged in work or creative activities. This doesn’t mean you stop whatever you are doing, it's about seeing the present moment without pressing the pause button. It's interrupting the autopilot mode we often use daily, taking time to appreciate the little things, thoughts and feelings, and the world around us.

To practice mindful productivity, you have to think of it as a set of principles that can be used as a flexible roadmap that anyone can apply to work and feel better. So let's get to it:   

10 Principles of Mindful Productivity:   

Presence: Live in the Present   

Try not to get trapped in the past and pre-living future worries. This thinking causes you not to be able to enjoy the here fully and the now and can make it hard to concentrate on your tasks.  

I fell victim to this went starting this role. I was so afraid of making a mistake and so consumed with the past mistakes that I made....even more mistakes. I have since adopted the attitude that I will make mistakes because I am just starting my career. I know the bare minimum, and all my mistakes are necessary.   

Awareness: Watch your thoughts and emotions   

When your mind wanders, bring it back to the task at hand.  

You want to be aware of your emotions and thoughts so you can accept them, move on, and return to being productive.   

Flow: Get in the flow  

A highly focused mental state which facilitates productivity   

Can be described as "Getting in the zone" or feeling absorbed in an activity   

Define your goal, cut the distractions, take a deep breath, and keep your mind fully attentive.   

The brain is often the happiest when you are engaged in the meaningful pursuit of a goal.   

Single Task: Avoid Multitasking   

It's not a secret that constantly switching contexts between different tasks hurts your attention and makes you less focused. In a perfect world, people who focus on one task at a time are calmer, more effective, and more productive, but we have to find a balance in the real world.  

Use Mindful Context Switch to strike a balance between productivity and responsiveness.  

Motivation: Question your procrastination   

Use the DUST model to understand why you are procrastinating. 

Curiosity: Cultivate your curiosity  

Curiosity helps you learn. It enables you to remember better information; the more curious you are about a topic, the more likely you are to remember it.  

Observe the world, take the time to learn, ask questions, don't take anything for granted.   

Growth: Develop a growth mindset  

A growth mindset means you believe you can grow your intelligence and skills with hard work.  

It would help to question your fixed mindset attitudes to see what's holding you back.  

Metacognition: Use metacognition strategies   

A powerful form of self-monitoring and self-regulation  

It means being in tune with your awareness to determine the best strategies for learning and problem-solving and when to apply them.   

Instead of blindly working away, take the time to plan, monitor and evaluate your working and learning experiences.   

Environment: Pay attention to your work environment   

Be mindful of where you work and how it affects your productivity. Understand what works for you and adapt your environment based on your findings.   

Also, consider your habits when designing your environment.   

Breaks: Take mindful breaks   

Using breaks to remind yourself to be mindful of your thoughts, emotions, and your environment  

Set aside time for the present moment to clear your mind and take it off red alert.    

Unplug and come up for air: Make sure you have ample time for other pursuits besides productivity. It doesn't hurt to limit your screentime.  

Take time to breathe, eat a snack, and look out the window.   

Practicing mindful productivity can seem like a daunting task, but take it from me. It's well worth the effort. Life can get hectic, but by letting the principles of mindfulness act as a guiding point in your everyday life, you can be present in the midst of it all.   

[the-shark-well]

Do you perchance have any Triple Threat headcanons you’d be willing to share….

you bet I do !!! and sorry this took me a second to answer I don't often think about these three enough . which is a shame because they make me normal

These are all scrambled thoughts so I'm . very sorry if it comes off as utter nonsense . there's a lot going on in my timeline it's hard to boil it down , really . also I applied headcanons for the "canon ending" of my timeline , which is Toppat King , so you're getting romantic triple threat , hope that's okay !

for reference: Henry uses they/it , Ellie she/her , and Charles he/him

- due to Henry's future sight and being caught in a timeloop with the help of Liaf , they feel very disconnected from others for a long time

- Ellie is able to see into their head through telepathy , so the two kinda accidentally develop an extremely powerful and eldritch bond even through the barrier of a timeloop . Ellie will always know Henry better than Henry perhaps knows itself , and Henry's choices will always lead it back to Ellie .

- Henry chooses to settle down in the TK timeline due to it being the best outcome long-term , from their perspective . They get married to Ellie and later on , Charles

- Charles is the Just Some Guy in the relationship ❤️

- post-TK Henry Charles and Ellie will fake capture Charles just so he can get away from his work for a while to hang out / go on dates . Charles is the one who proposed the idea (there are a million other much simpler solutions to get Charles from his duties but , to him , this is the most fun approach)

- this is less triple threat and more Charles but , Charles and RHM develop a very silly friendship . needless to say even despite his rank as a helicopter pilot for the government , Right likes him enough to accept him as one of their own

- the ideal date night for all three of them is going out into some crowded area and doing whatever is available to them . they like making every date an adventure together . fairs and festivals and theme parks are their favorites

- Although Ellie makes a big show of being more grounded than the others , in actuality she is just as chaotic if its funny . her responsibilties are second to her commitment to the bit .

- Charles is very touchy with his friends and loved ones , not just hugs but patting them on the back or shoulder , shaking them around , bumping their shoulder , etc. the others weren't used to it at first but they pretty quickly adjusted

- Ellie and Henry are rarely if ever seen apart . due to their weird divine relationship to one another they are very in sync as a married couple and Toppat leaders . Charles , due to his chaos powers of extreme empathy , learns to catch up with the connection the two share . although not nearly on the same level of Eldritch as the other two , he can read both of their emotions pretty plainly .

- Charles might eventually make the leap and join the Clan instead of living a double life , but he struggles with how to confront Galeforce about it without him freaking out

- Henry is very quiet and to themself and doesn't usually speak unless they absolutely must or are comfortable . Charles and Ellie are the only two who have consistently heard it talk .

- Ellie's best trait and worst flaw is her trust in others and the desire to give people second chances . Despite her history as a Toppat , she never wants to believe that anyone can be evil and self-serving everytime . this did get her in trouble back in the day (hence being at the Wall) , but it also allowed her to get close to Henry and get it to see that it can do and be better . Henry is very grateful for her .

- Charles is similarly very trusting , although less likely to give people second chances , he moreso operates on first impressions or orders given to him . His personal feelings may sometimes come secondary to his instructions . for some reason Henry and Ellie throw a wrench into his typical attitude . he just cannot bring himself to wish harm upon them , which really muddies things more when he starts to seek them out and talk to them . despite literally all of his orders telling him not to .

- Henry doesn't trust anybody because they don't even trust themself 👍 Their disconnect from people due to controlling the timeloop with Liaf is why they felt so Nothing about everything they've been doing . Until they met Ellie , and Ellie was the only person who saw what was up and that shook Henry to their core so bad they immediately started to reform . Henry nowadays is much , much better at trusting people , especially its partners .

[iwanthermidnightz]

ujhhhh to anyone out there who’s adamant that Lacy is “baiting” please get a grip?

a young woman sharing her feelings, even if she is using the plausible deniability of ‘female admiration’ is categorically not baiting. literally even if she is straight real people can’t queerbait, it’s a term for criticising the marketing of fictional media. applying it to real people is a whole can of worms that denies the very real possibilities of flagging and closeting.

anon, have you seen the clip of Olivia introducing the album? Did you listen when she said “this is about my life, read my lips!!”?? she was very intent about it, and I don't think she'll hold your hand and spell it out anymore. you’ll be another of a disappointing many who rule out the possibility of queerness just because she hasn’t done a big classic coming out. that kind of writing, even under the guise of 'female admiration' pings hard and she potentially has that in mind when she emphasises that the writing is all about her life and feelings. why deny the potential? don’t lean into the witch hunt of having to explicitly verify every queer person before they’re allowed a little gay attention.

queer people have been working towards a world where a formal coming out isn’t necessary, ideally you can just be yourself without people batting an eye or needing an explanation. we’ll never get there as long as this silly attitude prevails.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I agree. I hope we get to a point where people don’t have to come out formally. And that society educates itself on queer history, because I truly believe that’s a big component in changing these outdated attitudes when it comes to having to prove one’s identity multiple times before it’s believed or accepted.

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

by David Hume Kennerly

* * *

PLEASE DON’T THANK ME FOR MY SERVICE THIS VETERAN’S DAY

NOV 11, 2023

Please don't thank me for my "service." I was in the military, not the "Service." Service is doing something good. Service is what the person does who fixes your car. When the word "service" is applied to the military, it helps to justify violence as a method for conflict resolution. Like "defending our freedom," or "bringing democracy," the word "service" is used to lower the barriers of aggression. The military solution to conflict is death and destruction. That's not "service." Call it what it is - the military. If you have to hurt someone to solve a problem, you are the Problem. -- Arnold Stieber, US Army Veteran, 1970

I have absolutely no problem understanding exactly what Mr. Stieber wrote above, “back in the day,” with the white-hot heat of youth and the thorough pissed-offness of someone who had seen the side of life nobody ever wants to see. It’s the attitude I came home with from that same war, five years before he did.

I’ve never really gotten used to the new tradition of the past 30 years, for civilians - on discovering they are in the presence of someone who served in the military, - to say “Thank you for your service.” I have very mixed emotions about that. On the one hand, it’s nice that maybe a fourth of them have a clue why they’re saying what they are, that it isn’t merely the mouthing of polite words. On the other hand, I’m not sure why anyone would want to thank someone who served in the war I served in, or the ones that followed.

The war in Vietnam made everything in America worse. For just one thing, it harmed the economy when the government adopted a policy of both “guns” and “butter,” which led to the severe inflation of the 1970s, which gave companies looking for any way to reduce costs to start taking a hard line on employee compensation, which leaves us in the condition where the average American working stiff now makes less in terms of buying power than they did 50 years ago, I don’t know about you, but I’m not up to thanking anyone for that.

Of course, thinking further on this leads one to the obvious conclusion that it wasn’t the kids who got drafted who did any of that. They weren’t sitting in the halls of government thinking about how to distract the citizenry from the fact that this particular imperial war was going bad in all ways, and coming up with the idea of keeping taxes down in a period of increased government spending for things that go “BOOM!” while making sure they could get that new car every three years like they always did. Those decisions are the ones that led to the situation I mentioned above. Made by guys who mostly never got shot at, even in the war they did serve in.

In my experience during my time in the Navy and the years after knowing other vets and working with them, there were very few of us who “wanted” to go to war. Most of my fellow sailors were in the Navy because they figured joining the Navy and getting trained for a good job and “seeing the world” beat the daylights out of being in the Army, so much so it was worth a couple extra years over the two years a draftee served. Ditto the Air Force. Even the Marines were forced to start taking draftees after 1966, when they ran low on guys who believed what John Wayne told them in “Sands of Iwo Jima.”

As close as anyone got to “wanting” to go was when those of us who had joined before the war received the first orders sending us to the war. As my friend Phil Caputo wrote in “A Rumor of War” (a “Vietnam book” you should read), when he learned he and his fellow Marines were headed to DaNang in South Vietnam in 1965, “I thought to myself that when it was over and I went home, I’d be able to look my Tarawa-veteran father in the eye.” I know many others - including me, son of the guy who survived the Kamikazes - the sons of the “greatest generation” who had grown up with all the stories about our father’s “good war,” who “played war” with the cast-off gear from that war, who had similar thoughts.

Vietnam was the last war fought with draftees, and you can bet your bottom dollar today’s leaders will never go back to that system. The draft made everyone think about the war, whether they had to worry about getting drafted out of whatever working class job they had (or didn’t have); even the kids with student deferments had to think about the war when they didn’t work hard enough to keep their grades up and maintain their 2-S status. Mothers and fathers and aunts and uncles and brothers and sisters and friends all had to worry about someone they knew and loved going off to that war. Whether they “supported the president” or came to understand that the war wasn’t worth the loss of that life they knew and loved, they came in the middle of the night to hate the war. And eventually that made itself known in politics. The makers of war became constrained in the war they could make by the lack of support from those who gave them their jobs with their votes.

I’ll tell you something. After I came back, I did all I could to end that draft. But I would be very happy to see it brought back today.

No deferments. The sons and daughters of the rich serve right alongside the sons and daughters of the poor - like they did in World War II. It’ll make the entitled little shits into something better. And it really does unify - it’s hard to hate people you know by name.

But mostly I’m in favor of that because it makes it almost impossible for “They” to decide to fight a 20 year war in Afghanistan, or Iraq. They can’t do it because too many people will be paying attention. And getting pissed off at them. And voting.

But no, for exactly the reasons I am for the draft, the “all-volunteer” army is here to stay. You can’t fight 20-year wars in hellholes nobody knows without it. That way, only about 1-2 percent of the population ever has to think about the war - the kids who join up because they don’t have a future that looks better than what the military offers, their families, their friends - not a big enough group that if they got upset they could muster any political changes, unlike all those folks 50 years ago.

Most of all, if you’re going to thank me or any of us for our service, don’t try to honor us as “heroes.” For one thing, most of us aren’t, and for another, if you haven’t been in the military you really have no idea what being a hero in that context actually is.

It’s not what you think it is.

An old Navy Chief once explained “being a hero” to me: “When you’re so terrified that your brain is so frozen you can’t think, and you’ve pissed your pants and shit your drawers, and you just know you’re going to die, and you still do your job - THAT is being a hero.”

Not the definition too many in our society nowadays want to hear.

“But, Tom,” you say, “don’t you write all these best-selling books about wars and heroes? You must really love war to think about it so much.”

If you have gotten anything even remotely like that from reading any of my books, you really need to reconsider that decision not to take that remedial course in reading comprehension.

Yes, I do honor those out there in the mud and the blood and the ooze. And I appreciate knowing the ones who were out there in the mud and the blood and the ooze and survived to come back to the world of the living. That’s because their willingness to do that has a lot to do with why there is that world of the living to come back to.

Or at least that’s true in the World War II books. That’s the last war that could be divided into the Good Guys and the Bad Guys.

Except it kind of can’t. I’ve known too many guys who served on “the other side” who are just as nice - if not nicer - than anyone I have met from “the good side.”

In fact some of them must be better than anyone who served on this side. That’s a small list. But every guy who served in Vietnam and then had the opportunity to later meet the people they were trying to kill at the time, has met people who have been willing to forgive them for My Lai and Agent Orange and Rolling Thunder and all the rest of it, and offer friendship. And the ones on that side who I have been privileged to meet are definitely honorable men.

A late friend of mine who was a leading ace in “the good war” once told me when we were at a convention of those guys and the honored guests at the event were the guys who they’d been out to kill: “The secret nobody knows is, we always thought the guys we were fighting were the only ones who knew what we were going through. We actually thought we were closer to them than to the other people who were on our side.” I’ve heard similar sentiments from former infantrymen as well as former fliers, so it’s not some “guild of the elite” or “honorable brotherhood.”

Although it probably is an “honorable brotherhood.” The brotherhood of people who were willing to do what it took to defend what they loved - and believe it or not that even applies to the Germans; most of them knew as much about the “larger issues” going on, the terrible things, as any young guy in the US military did in the war I fought. And when they did find out, they were shocked too. The people who did the terrible things tried to keep them secret from everyone else, because they knew they were doing terrible things.

My friend Jim Wright, who’s become well-known in social media in recent years for some straight-shooting talk from a retired Chief Warrant Officer, wrote:

“Mostly we veterans are just people who came when called and did our best under terrible circumstances.”

I’ll end with a quote from a guy who did know what it took to do all that stuff:

“Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. This world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children. This is not a way of life at all in any true sense. Under the clouds of war, it is humanity hanging on a cross of iron.”

― Dwight D. Eisenhower, Soldier, General, President

[TCinLa :: Thats Another Fine Mess]

[i-need-some-advice-on]

Relationship advice?

CW mentions of abuse, SA, eating disorders, illness, disasters

My partner (26m) and I (23nb) have been living together for nearly 3 years. We both have rough pasts, he grew up with abuse, survived a disaster in childhood, moved to this country as a refugee, and struggles with PTSD. He's also struggled with chronic illness since not long after we moved in together. I grew up with abuse, including CSA and animal hoarding, and experienced several instances of SA as a teenager. I also struggle with PTSD, in addition to autism (dx'd in childhood) and chronic illnesses that started when I was a teenager. I use a mobility aid when I'm outside. We are both estranged from our parents, and both moved here as kids so our extended families are overseas. Because it might be relevant, he's Black, I'm white-passing mixed (non-Black).

Since he got sick and hasn't been able to work, I've been financially supporting him on my Disability payment. It's been over 2 years. He has applied for benefits, but he's been denied, and I guess there's not much he can do about that. This isn't really a problem, but it makes the problems more frustrating since I'm making a lot of sacrifices for him. He has had issues with pretty toxic behaviour, like yelling at me, calling me names like "retard", "pathetic", being hypercritical but getting mad at criticism, bringing up my trauma in arguments and downplaying it, downplaying my dx'd health issues, etc.

He has acknowledged that his behaviour in the past was toxic, but he doesn't really take constructive criticism and it feels like he doesn't really think there's anything wrong with his behaviour. I woke up to him the other week yelling things like "go starve yourself and die you fat whore, get bulimia cunt, etc." at the neighbours working in the office upstairs through the ceiling, because he believes they are stomping deliberately because they are racist and ableist and trying to provoke him (possibly true! still a weird reaction), and when I told him that I didn't like waking up to misogynistic shouting, he got mad at me, said he has PTSD and I don't know what it's like, called me thin-skinned, and generally dismissed my concerns. He's aware of my history of eating disorders.

He did say sorry during the day, but in the evening I still wanted to address it. I started by talking about how he's got some big emotions and they seem hard to manage, and he got upset, saying he doesn't have anger issues, he's justified in his anger, etc. I got upset and called him a narcissist, and later a dickhead. I also brought up his past behaviour. He said I have a victim complex, he's the one being victimised, I have "twitter brain" (I deleted twitter over a year ago at his request), that I always bring up the past to make him look bad, I have the same attitude as people who people who complain about protests being disruptive and ask "but do you condemn hamas?", he's objectively more traumatised than me, and I'm only upset by his anger because of my implicit biases. It didn't happen this time, but in the past he's knocked a chunk of plaster out of the ceiling and made his knuckles bleed from banging on the ceiling in response to the noise from upstairs.

Since then he's mostly stuck to playing music at full blast on multiple devices and deliberately setting off the fire alarm to annoy them in "protest", while I wear earplugs, and I guess that's a compromise. He has sort of acknowledged that he was wrong but still feels justified overall. I don't really know what to think. Maybe I'm blowing things out of proportion, maybe I should be more concerned, maybe it's all because of his health and trauma and I should let it slide, maybe there's something I can do to help him, maybe there's nothing I can do. He is sweet most of the time, I love him, but living with him can be so stressful and I don't know how to get him to understand that.

I'm planning on moving home to be closer to family, and he's planning to move after he sorts out his visa. It's also a better country to live in geopolitically and in terms of quality of life than where we live now. I've been hoping to help him get there before addressing all this, since we'll be in a more stable position overall and have more resources, but there's still months before I'll be able to move. What should I do?

.

[roseaesynstylae]

Star Wars: Republic Commando: Hard Contact, Chapter 4

"This is the art of genetic selection and manipulation. A human is naturally a learning creature, but it is also violent, selfish, lustful, and undisciplined. So we must walk the knife-edge between suppressing the factors that lead to disobedience and destroying that prized capacity for applying intelligence and aggression.

-- Hali Ke, senior research geneticist of Kamino"

If this is how Kaminoans regard humans, then a lot of their behavior makes sense.

"All but one of the gdans gave him up as inedible within a minute and disappeared into the waist-high crop. The remaining creature worried away at his left boot, a tribute to its tenacity, if not its intelligence. Those boots were specced to withstand every assault from hard vacuum to acid and molten metal. The little animal clearly believed in aiming high."

This unnamed gdan is one of my favorite characters in the book.

If Traviss had included more scenes like this, she would have a few more brownie points with me. A few.

"If you stab someone in the heart, they can still run. I once saw a man run a hundred meters like that, screaming as well. Go for the neck, like this. Sergeant Skirata had taught them a lot about knives. Put a bit of weight behind it, son."

Our first mention of Kal Skirata, to the best of my knowledge. I'm going to have a lot to say about him once he appears in the flesh.

"But this was different. It wasn't distant, and the debris of the kill wasn't metal. The Weequay's blood had dried in a stream down his glove and right forearm plate. And he hadn't managed a clean kill. It was wrong.

They had drilled him to kill, and kill, and kill, but nobody had thought to teach him what he was supposed to feel afterward. He did feel something, and he wasn't certain what it was."

In subsequent books, I am definitely going to have some things to say about the protagonists' attitudes toward violence and killing, but this book gets something of a pass. The feelings the characters have about it is less "casual murder" and more "I don't have time to process this right now," which is considerably more sympathetic.

No one taught him what to do, psychologically speaking, after killing someone? I have two things to say about that. Firstly, Kamino really doesn't need to hammer home how little it cares about clone troopers, but it does so anyway. Secondly, Kal Skirata didn't teach you? The galaxy's greatest dad didn't talk about it once? I'm sure he had his reasons~

Maybe that's overly spiteful, but I just finished reading Triple Zero and I am not happy with that man right now.

Jedi-Bashing: 6

Di'kut Count: 3

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