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#(and counting how long they’re staring at each other again (7 seconds))
lichtecht · 6 months
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PART 28
of the dfk audiobook translation
@cnka
Narrator (Nichtraucher): So the Internals flew to the aliens themselves and to get a picture of it.
Narrator (audiobook): An overdimensional cardboard spaceship is let down from the ceiling.
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Narrator (Nichtraucher): Due to the heroic act of the brave alien Uli, who the astronauts had met on their travels through space... the aliens met the earthlings as friends.
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Direktorin Kreuzkamm, whispering: „That’s Ruda! And her friends!“ Direktorin Kreuzkamm: „How beautiful!“
She sighs happily.
Narrator (audiobook): Ruda and the others play the aliens. They hug the astronauts and welcome them on their planet. Suddenly, words like „External“ or „Internal“ don’t even matter anymore.
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Ruda, through the microphone: „Although galaxies apart, we have achieved peace in the end!“
Narrator (Nichtraucher): And if Internals and Externs could empathize with each other… I should be able to manage it with Justus as well.
Justus looks at Robert. Robert looks back. Justus waves a little.
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Narrator (audiobook): Only separated by the middle aisle, Robert and Justus look at each other for a long time.
Justus turns away and starts clapping.
Bökh, to Direktorin Kreuzkamm next to him: „They've finally made peace! That’s awesome!“
Narrator (audiobook): You can recognize forgiveness in their eyes. And longing to let a deep friendship bloom again.
Loud applause and whistles from the audience. Standing ovation.
The kids on stage bow.
Justus and Robert look at each other again while they clap, this time smiling.
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Frau Kreuzkamm hugs Justus in joy.
Audience: „Encore! Encore!“
[Note: the internet tells me that's the english version of "Zugabe". I hope that's true]
Bökh: „There’s Uli!“
Uli: „The only home we’ve ever known.“
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Narrator (audiobook): At the very end, Uli is shown in a video recorded at the hospital. The play was a full success - and it united people who hadn’t believed in it themselves for a long time.
SCENE CHANGE
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Narrator (audiobook): The next morning is the day of departure. Almost all kids have packed their suitcases and are picked up by their families. Justus Bökh stands at the gate and sends off his Internals. Only Martina is walking tensely through the corridors, because she still has a test ahead of her today.
Narrator (audiobook): Finally, the test begins. Besides Herr Bökh, an official examinor is also present, but Martina doesn’t let him unnerve her. She only focuses on her tasks - and sometimes the encouraging gaze of Justus Bökh.
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Narrator (audiobook): It’s already dark when Martina returns to her room, where Jo is already waiting for her. She sits down at her bed.
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ladykailitha · 2 years
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Oh For a Muse of Fire! Part 16
All right my lovelies we have a proper count for how long this going to be. 17 parts with a epilogue. So by Tuesday this story will be done. I am so grateful for everyone who has commented and reblogged this story every time a new part has come out. You know who you are. I love each of you!!
This is it, the part everyone has been waiting for. The boys finally get their heads out of their asses. Yay!!! (Insert Kermit the frog arm waving gif here). A little Buckingham, too. ;) The next part is a little spicy (no actual sex is shown but Steve and Eddie do get naked). And then a super soft epilogue.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6  Part 7  Part 8  Part 9 Part 10  Part 11 Part 12  Part 13 Part 14  Part 15
*
Gareth was on the phone with their agent when Eddie arrived for practice. Jeff was pacing and Brian was in the corner with his head in his hands.
Eddie skidded to a stop and opened his mouth to ask when Gareth said, “Yeah, yeah, they’re all here. Yeah one second.” And he hit a button on his phone.
“Can everybody here me?” the agent asked.
All of them chorused the affirmative.
“Great,” the agent said, his voice dripping on the edge of too excited. “I got a call from Upside Down Records, they’re based out of Chicago. And they want you come and record a full album with them in August.”
“I’m going to need you to repeat that,” Jeff said.
“Upside Down Records wants Corroded Coffin to record an album in August.”
“Holy shit!” Gareth breathed. “That’s so awesome.”
Brian coughed, trying to clear his throat. “Did they say why August?”
The agent chuckled. “It’s when their studio will be available. They have a band in there right now. But they have to present their album by the end of June. So August was the earliest they could get you in. But they’re super happy to have you.”
“Thanks, Murray,” Eddie breathed.
“I’ll get started trying to find you guys a place to stay while you’re recording,” Murray said. “It will most likely to be a loft where you all would be staying together.”
“That’s fine...” Jeff stuttered. “That’s fine.”
“Yeah,” Gareth said. “Absolutely.”
“Thanks again,” Eddie said.
“Of course, boys,” Murray said. “Didn’t I tell you to trust me?”
Brian let out a watery chuckle. “Yeah, yeah you did.”
“Congrats, I mean it,” Murray said. “I couldn’t believe those asshats at the Queen’s Crown both passed on you. And when you guys go platinum I intend to send them black roses.”
That got them laughing.
“There we are,” Murray said. “Now I’ve gotta go. I’ll keep in contact with everyone to let you know how the living arrangement search is going, okay?”
Everyone voiced their agreement and then the call ended.
There was silence for about a minute and then they were jumping and running to give each other hugs.
“We did it!” Eddie screamed.
“I’ve got to call my girlfriend,” Jeff said.
“Yeah,” Gareth said. “I’ve got my own phone calls to make. I think we all do.”
Brian giggled. “I think it’s safe to say that we’re not practicing tonight.”
“No,” Eddie agreed. “But after we make our calls, we are going out to celebrate.”
The other three whooped and cheered.
Eddie called Wayne and Chrissy. If he wiped away a tear after his conversation with his uncle, no he didn’t. He wiped away several. Chrissy on the other hand screamed so loud that the other members stopped and stared at him.
“I love you too,” Eddie said. “But I’m already destined to lose my hearing as a metal artist, can you not, you know, speed up the process?”
She laughed.
After he was done with her he stared at the phone.
Gareth noticed and ended the call he was on with. He walked over to Eddie and put his hand on his shoulder.
“He’ll be happy for you and you know it,” he told Eddie fiercely. “He’s been your biggest cheerleader since the two of you got your heads out of each other’s asses.”
“I know,” Eddie whispered. “I just wish there was a way he could come with us.”
Gareth gave his shoulder a squeeze and went back to the others.
Jeff cleared his throat. “All right, it’s time to party.”
*
Eddie knew he didn’t have to wear something nice to the gala, but he wanted to anyway. He dressed in a nice black button up with a red vest, the shirt only buttoned from the start of the vest, down. He paired it with tight black jeans and his white sneakers. His hair was pulled back with a black, skull-themed bandanna.
He checked in the mirror again, fiddling with his hair for the billionth time. Chrissy had to drag him from his apartment to get him to stop.
Chrissy herself had dressed up, wearing a pink sheath dress with a white cardigan.
When they got the gallery, they were pleased to see that most of the people had dressed up as well and that set Eddie at ease.
He wandered around the gallery drinking punch and eating the refreshments. In the crowd he spotted Chrissy and Robin with their heads together, giggling at something written in the little program they had passed out. Eddie paused for a moment.
Chrissy threw her head back and Robin looked at her with stars in her eyes.
Well that was certainly interesting. He only hoped that Diamond wasn’t against inter-employee relations, because both of those girls were well on their way to being completely smitten with each other.
He spotted the Karen before he spotted the 18+ area. She was screaming that her little crouch goblin had slipped into the adult area and seen the most awful licentious things imaginable. The guard was pointing out that if she hadn’t let him run around unsupervised he wouldn’t have seen those things. The area was clearly marked and behind a purple satin curtain.
And that’s when Eddie spotted it. Yup. Great, big, fucking purple curtain. With banners stating adults only, 18+, enter at your own risk. He slipped in and was pleased to note that inside they also had partitions up separating, nudity, violence, and social commentary (things that didn’t quite fit in the other two, but were sensitive nonetheless. Scenes after an earthquake, children starving, that sort of thing.)
Eddie started there. Most of these were photos from the photography majors. There were a few paintings and one very notable charcoal drawing. He stopped in front of that one for a while. It was of the 1969 Stonewall Riot. It had a ribbon next to it for best depiction of a historical event.
He moved on to the violence section. The pictures of war. The murder of Caesar. And one particularly hilarious scene of the Bible story of Judith slitting the throat of Holofernes with Eddie as the dude getting murdered. He laughed. He supposed the pose could be interpreted that way. Even if it was a bit over the top. He looked closer at the name and then he really started laughing. Michelle Gardener. The bitch that tried to make Steve move from his spot.
His very first rescue of Steve. Before they talked, before they became friends, before they became essential to each other.
And then finally he got to the nudity section. This is where most of Joyce’s classes were located.
Here was Eddie as Morpheus, as Lucifer, as Lysander. But then he got the center piece. It had won best in show. And it was magnificent. The come hither stare, the sheer white drapes opened to reveal his prone form, the gracefulness of the lines. He was enraptured. None of the other artists had painted him like this. This was a declaration of love if there ever was one.
“What do you think?” Steve asked, appearing suddenly at his elbow.
Eddie’s head whipped around to face him. “Holy shit, Steve, it’s beautiful.”
Steve smiled. “I had to keep taking it home so you wouldn’t see it before now. I wanted it to be surprise. I was so tempted to keep it to myself to only let a handful of people to see it. Mrs Byers. Robin. You. But Robin was right, art is meant to be seen. So here it is for everyone to see.”
“She’s always right,” Eddie said with a soft smile.
“I know,” Steve said with a grin. “It’s so annoying.”
They stared at the painting for awhile just admiring Steve’s work, when he spoke.
“Most of these will be auctioned off at a silent auction later tonight, the proceeds will go toward helping disadvantaged youth to get into art,” he murmured.
Eddie looked up at him panicked, point up at their painting. “Is–”
Steve shook his head. “I couldn’t bare the thought of it going to some random stranger. So I dug into my savings at bought it outright. It’s yours, actually. I’m giving it to you.”
Eddie closed his eyes. “Steve...”
Steve took his hand. “Robin kept begging me to tell you. But I was enjoying our time together so much. But I’m not staying in Indiana. I’m leaving for Chicago at the end of July. I’ll be doing my student teaching and getting my teaching certificate for the state of Illinois. So it’s yours. To have something to remember me by. I just hope you’ll come visit me sometime.”
“Oh.” Eddie opened his eyes to see that Steve was on the verge of tears. “Sweetheart, I think it will go nicely in our apartment in Chicago. Unless you already have a place?”
Steve stared at him in shock. “No, no. You can’t follow me to Chicago. You’ve got a life ahead of you here. You guys are on the verge of making it big. I refuse to be the reason you gave up on your dreams.”
Eddie gently took Steve’s face in his hands. “There’s been something I’ve been meaning to tell you for about a week now, but I couldn’t because I didn’t want to face the fact that I would be leaving you here in Indy.”
Steve blinked, unable to cock his head in confusion. “I don’t understand.”
“Our manager, Murray Bauman,” he said softly, “called last week. There’s a record label in Chicago that wants us to come and record an album for them in August.”
“You’re moving to Chicago for a record deal?” Steve asked, needing to be sure.
“That’s right, beautiful,” Eddie murmured. “We’re moving on to the same place.”
“Eddie I love you so much,” Steve cried, tears starting to roll down his face.
He leaned forward and pressed his lips to Steve’s. They both melted into the kiss and Steve clung to the back of Eddie’s vest.
“I love you too, sweetheart,” he whispered when he pulled away from Steve’s lips.
“Are you sure you want to move in with me?” Steve asked, breathless. “I–”
Eddie cooed gently. “I know it’s fast. I know we had a rough start. But baby, there is no one else I would rather be with then you.”
Steve let out a watery chuckle. “Okay. Yeah.” He looked up into Eddie’s eyes. “Yeah.”
“We have plenty of time,” Eddie said with a soft smile. “We have two and half months to find something that fits both our needs.”
Steve kissed him again. Hard and deep. Like he was trying to let Eddie know every thought and feeling that he kept inside.
When they pulled apart Eddie whispered, “Do you have to stay?”
Steve shook his head. “I’m not participating in the auction so I can leave at any time.”
“Great!” Eddie grabbed Steve’s wrist and hauled him through the gallery as he looked for Chrissy and Robin.
When he spotted them, he made a beeline straight for them, Steve struggling to keep up.
“Hello, ladies!” Eddie greeted with a wide grin on his face. He dropped his keys into Chrissy’s hand. “I’m taking my boyfriend home and locking ourselves in my apartment.”
“Eddie!” Steve admonished, but couldn’t keep the goofy grin off his face.
“About damn time!” Robin crowed. She gave Steve a big kiss on the cheek.
“Would you make sure to grab my painting before the auction starts?” he asked as he wiped his cheek.
“Absolutely!” she said and then pushed the two of them. “Now shoo!”
Eddie and Steve laughed.
“Don’t forget to use protection!” Chrissy called.
“Back at you, bitch!” Eddie said over his shoulder.
Robin turned to her with a raised eyebrow. “Now why would you need to use protection?”
Chrissy batted her eyelashes prettily at her. “Because it’s cleaner, and more fun with a ribbed action.”
Robin’s eyes went wide. “Oh. So is that on offer then?”
Chrissy pulled her in for a gut searing kiss.
“That would be a yes,” Robin said dumbly and then kissed her again.
Part 17 Epilogue
@artiststarme @allbymyselfexceptformycactus @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 @itsall-taken @m-owo-n @zerokrox-blog @runyousillydetective @grimmfitzz @wonderland-girl143-blog @sapphirecobalt-1 @scheodingers-muppet @victor-thee-corvid @apricottree @bookbinderbitch @sleepyboosstuff @biatcgh @pixiefallingupthestairs @grtwdsmwhr @thepainisspicy @carlyv @eboyawstenn @bisexualdisastersworld @bidisastersworld @abstractnaturaldisaster @evix-syne666 @nerdsconquerall @lololol-1234 @goodolefashionedloverboi @chaoticlovingdreamer @a-little-unsteddie @val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @elluminis @tailsfromthecrypt @danili666 @plyerice27 @alittlegreyfish  @n0-1-important @no-upper-limit-to-stupidity @maya-custodios-dionach @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @heaven428 @thedragonsaunt @ceaselessly-watching @imfinereallyy @messrs-weasley @sharingisntkaren @nohomoyesbi
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justjams2003 · 3 days
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The Desire to be Loved-7
Summary: Love is Desire's first creation. As Cupid she shoots her arrows of love and rips them from people's hearts too. Occasionally, shooting a soulmate arrow. What does she do when her first Soulmate arrow in 100 years is between Cupid and Dream?
Pairing: Dream of the Endless x OFC Love/Cupid/Venus (you know how these beings have millions of names) (Also technically it could be an x reader because love is sort of anthropomorphic but in this story a she)
Warnings: Manipulation, threats, crying, cliffhanger, unedited, kind of like enemies to lovers, soulmate au, cursing, gore, snake slander :(tell me if I miss any.
Word count: 2k+
Dividers by: @hyelita
Tags: @intothesoul @bridkesby @coffeebeforewater @i-voluntears @dreamingblueberries @idkamt @deniixlovezelda @lmg-stilinski24 @superbreadsoul @poemfreak306 @lexi-anastasia-astra-luna @fries11 @lost-inthe-v0idid
Masterlist
Part 6
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The hall is somehow even quieter than when Morpheus was captured. Everyone is far too scared to interrupt the stare down between Dream and Love. Love doesn’t need to breathe and yet it feels like she is suffocating. This...might just be their first time seeing each other since Dream gifted her the realm. Each had been too busy with their duties.
But it’s not awkward or painful between them. For the first time in Lucine’s life, she sees her master reach out. His long slender arm escapes from under his starry robe. A stark white contrast against the darkness of the dreaming castle. A gentle big outreach for her to come closer.
There is a click as she steps forward, her body instinctively wanting to be closer to him. She know she should think more clearly about this, and yet, she doesn’t. Love’s smaller, tanner hand slides into his and with seconds Dream’s arms are around her. Cradling her close and an unknown sob shudders through her body.
Tiny hands grab onto the felt of his big black coat. The fabric absorbs the tears that gently roll down her cheeks. She shakes her head, her golden spun hair falling lose from her usual braid. “Don’t, don’t do that. Please, don’t do that again.” She begs, her body shaking and Dream places a kiss on the top of her head.
His large hand cradles her head and every time she begs for him to never mess with her mind again, he replies with a simple: “I won’t. I’m sorry.” Lucienne has never seen Dream be anything but stoic and angry. Discipline of his realm and his creation has only ever been the only thing he enacted.
But now...he’s cradling this little flower. The embodiment of love and joy and everything soft and cuddly. An emotional girl who feels everything and anything from the slightest blink and trip. Hushing her as she cries into his chest. Black against her pink. And the red thudding heart the two of them share.
When her cries slowly die down, she realises the position they’re in. And that the whole court is just sort of standing there...watching them as Dream comforts little Love. She steps back, looking up at him with these teary brown eyes that makes him want to burn the world down all of the sudden.
“I’m sorry, it’s just-” She realises how she must look. She wipes her tears off on the back of her hand. She flattens down the frizz of her hair. “-it was like with Desire. And-” Dream stops her with a gentle hand on her upper arm. Rubbing soft circles to remind her that her body is hers and she has control.
“I understand, Love. I acted before thinking of how it might affect you and I...I must earnestly apologize.” He speaks and again everyone is scared to breathe. That century must’ve really done him good, or perhaps it’s the ball of sunshine he now feels responsible for because he’s never apologized before...
Love lets her shoulders drop slightly, feeling the weight drop from her back. She sort of looks around from Dream to the librarian to the raven. She realises that she’d likely interrupted something. She swallows, “I’m sorry, um,” she gathers her thoughts, “you called me here...” She looks up at Dream, allowing him to finish the question on his own.
Dream seems to ignore the utter urgency that he was feeling before this. And he doesn’t allow for Love to slip from his arms either. He shows nonchalance to the rest of his people, but behind her back, he balls the fabric of her dress in his hands. Resting on her lower back, clenching the pink dress until his knuckles turn whiter that the pale he already is.
All from guilt, utter guilt. How could he not have thought this through? The seriousness of having to fix this great danger in the universe overcame all his mind and then hers. He hadn’t even realised he could climb in her mind like he can his other subjects. Dream can do that with the dreaming inhabitants because they are a part of him. That would mean that Love is a part of him...
It has to be true because their hearts beat in the same rhythm. Not yet one because she still carries the arrow with her. But they know, they know they’re meant to be. Their souls yearn for each other, no matter how their minds fight the reality of it all.
Lucienne forces herself to speak up. To step forward because it would seem her creator’s mind has faded to other matters. Much prettier matters than the horrifying gaping black hole that could possibly consume the dreaming, an ugly matter. “Cupid, why were you talking to Rose?” Big golden eyes, usually warm and caring now confused and frightened.
“I’m not there for her.” A sweet voice that makes Dream’s cold icy heart begin to defrost. “But you were with her?” Lucienne repeats. “Her friend, Lyta. She has a broken heart but refuses to let go... It can be quite the horrific site and if the arrow stays in her heart much longer, the effects could be drastic...” They all turn and look to each other, like they know something she doesn’t.
“What?” Lucienne sighs and Dream conjures up his sand, making up sights and sounds to explain the severity of the situation. “Rose Walker. Something called a dream vortex....”
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She feels like a little girl who’s just been scolded. She can’t understand them, she can’t understand how they don’t see to even care about Rose, as a person. She’s just a girl looking for her brother. Why they’re so dead set on killing her, she can’t comprehend it. Rose has a whole life she’s meant to live. A pink or maybe red arrow waiting for her somewhere in the world. A heart tethered to hers, waiting to see her smile for the first time. And they just want to take that all away, no consideration for what Destiny has planned for her.
Cupid huffs, pouting like a little girl too. Her pouting lips resting against her knees that are pulled up against her chest. Her bare toes digging into the mud that oozes water, coming from the lake, when she does. She watches as the little fish go to take a nipple of her toes and then jump away when she wiggles them just a little. Then the ripples of water it creates across the pond. Bouncing from the walls of mud and reeds all the way under the little stone bridge allowing the teddies access over the pond.
They berated her too like a little girl. How dare she even consider that the life of one girl is as important as the whole dreaming and all its dreamers? She can’t even believe they’d ask such a thing. She loved all the mortals, with all her heart she loved them. Even when they curse and scream at her for the agony she has no choice in. Is she just a naive little girl? Should she keep her nose out of Dream’s important politics and stick to her fairies and teddies and hearts and arrows?
How can she not say anything? Accept it as is? Accept the death of a young woman, because, what? She might harm Dream? That girl won’t harm a fly, unless of course the flies that dare sit on her brother’s food. Can’t Morpheus understand that it isn’t hate that fuels her but love, love for her brother? Of course he can’t. He’s never loved anyone. If he did, she’d be the first one and maybe the only one to ever know. The fact that he seems so complacent and maybe even started this idea of killing the girl makes her utterly furious at him.
Furious...?
Has Love ever been angry before? She’d felt sad before, mourning the death of a love bond. Guilty, yes, when having to take the love from people. Scared when Desire taunted her so. Obedient when he’d command her. Empty when he’d take over her body. But not angry at him for it... Even when she had accidently taken that soul, she was not angry. She was scared, scared of herself, scared of what Desire might do, what might happen to her.
But angry, like this? No...
The hot sun’s rays are interrupted by a dark cloudy man who sits himself down right next to Love. Well...with a distance of course. A distance that makes both of their hearts tugg but neither of them would admit it. They can’t love each other, the arrow has not been planted. And they can’t like each other, they’re polar opposites. But they do, at least, Dream knew it was guilt that he felt when Cupid’s smile dropped learning about Rose. And a complete and utter sense of emergency to fix this.
At least, Dream thinks there shouldn’t be a universe where she isn’t smiling. Much less pouting and brooding in her garden, her flowery kingdom, like she does now. It’s a wrong doing for the universe for his little sunshine to be cloudy...His?...
“You look like a fairy. Like those the little girls dream of...” Cupid shrinks away from him and hides her wings when he makes the comment. “I’m not a fairy. That’s a fairy.” She looks at one of her creatures, tiny little fluttering wings and jumping from flower petal to dew drop. “Of course not.” He replies, hoping that agreeing with her might be at least a start to remedy the situation. But it isn’t and he realises that when she huffs and turns away, suddenly the moss growing on the tree is much more interesting than anything on the side he’s sitting.
His hand twitches as he stops himself from grabbing her face and forcing her to look at him. He has to be soft he keeps reminding himself. He can’t just take what he wants. But he himself isn’t ever sure what it is that he wants. Why suddenly seeing her in such distress make him... angry...? Who dares hurt such a sweet soft thing, love herself?
“Love-“ her head swivels for her eyes to snap at him and glare his soul straight out his body. “Leave.” She huffs, with this new sudden stubbornness he’s never heard before from her. “No.” He replies with the same zing. His stark eyes clash with hers. As if in a battle of wits to see who’s the most stubborn. Nothing but their breathing and the chirping life around them is to be heard. Besides, of course, the clashing swords of wills.
But she’s never been one to fight and even less so with someone who’s done so much for her. She stands up. No longer challenging his mirroring of her own stubbornness, she walks until she feels the wet, squishy mud of the lake in between her toes. “Dream...you have done much for me. Brought me peace and allowed me to bloom...” She walks until she can feel the warm lake water up to her fingertips.
“Showed me the power I did not know I held...” She walks until she can feel the slimy plants cling to her waist. “But know this-” She turns, her hair frizzy from the humidity of the lake. The sunlight hits her just right, making her look like a nymph that makes Morpheus’ heart beat just a bit faster than it had been. And her brown eyes look just about ready to devour him for the sin of even thinking about going against her will.
“-I will not put the well-being of the humans over a love that must still bloom.” And then she walks until the aqua swirls in her ears and stings her eyes. All only to make it seem that the tears rolling down her cheeks are only that- water. All only to convince her heart that their connection hasn’t pooled into a reservoir she saves for herself when the loneliness creeps up on her. That the flowers of love aren’t being watered. And that the branches of the heart hasn’t started to flourish for the first time since her creation.
Desire had to have loved her at some point, right? This can’t possible be the first time she’s felt all...warm inside. But she had been so angry...? The agony humans feel when they are in love she remembers to be quite similar...
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callsign-rogueone · 2 months
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This random thought just came to mind after reading the latest post on Sawyer and Peach- omggg
We know at some point they gotta put up a front, stick to the bit like Sawyer said- all I see is that further down the line.. the rest of the group is going to stare at them all confused and I still Ridoc being like “either they’re really good at this or they’re officially together- I can’t even tell the difference anymore”
And then.. a cute moment I pictured was them stargazing again or literally just laying down in his room. Peach keeps staring at him, more specifically his freckles, and she can’t help but reach a hand out and gently caress his face as if she’s trying to trace some of his freckles with her thumb— if that makes any sense. Or when Peach wants to pull a move, she kisses his freckles— UGH- these two, omgg
-E💜
oh babes, everyone is going to be questioning if they aren’t faking anymore, even themselves. they say the eyes never lie, and these two look at each other with pure adoration 24/7. it is so clear to everyone but them that they’re in love.
Ridoc is secretly organizing an over/under betting pool on how long it takes for them to actually get together. but when they do finally figure that out and do something about it, it’ll be fairly obvious to second squad, hehe. any bets on who’s going to confess first, and when?
and yes!!! I have such a clear image of Sy in my mind now and he’s so pretty. she definitely loves his lil freckles, and tries to count them at some point 💗 they’re gonna be making a lot of eye contact, too. and a lot of hand-holding. ugh, they’re such shy little cuties, I’m so obsessed with them.
and a new anon!!! it makes me so happy when y’all sign your asks. makes it feel like we’re sending little letters, and I can see my repeat readers 🥺💌
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rayshippouuchiha · 3 years
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I read “[Naruto] made budgeting and math his bitch” and all I want to say, to ask, is to consider the possibility that he’s the one in charge of Team 7’s budget? Please and thank you for your time.
It takes Naruto a bit to notice it. Takes a while for all the pieces to line up just right for him to see it.
His team, as talented as they all are, are absolute shit with money.
They're up north, huddled together on the roadside just inside of Tomi, the capital city of the midsized island that makes up Gold Country, when the truth comes out.
Their mission had been long and draining and they're all looking forward to a ship back to the mainland and a stop at an Inn for a night before they start the trek back to Konoha.
The only problem with that plan is the fact that everyone is flat broke.
Everyone, that is, except for Naruto. Which the other three would know if they'd bothered to ask him instead of assuming he was just as broke as they are.
Because Naruto's wallet is basically still as fat as ever despite the length of time they've been gone and the fact that he's done his definition of splurging at the shops in Tomi. He'd put the few hours where they'd split up before meeting again to start looking for a ship back to very very good use.
Supplies were always cheaper for him outside of Konoha proper where the shopkeepers don't know him and he's actually allowed to haggle. Plus their contractor, an ancient silk merchant named Kaede, had taken enough of a liking to Naruto to put in a good word for him at the local shops.
A courtesy that she, apparently, hadn't offered to the rest of the team or maybe just one they hadn't bothered to take her up on. Naruto isn't sure which it is exactly.
But if it's the second option then Naruto's not sure what to think. He'd never turn a discount or chance to haggle down, no matter how small it is. He knows better.
"Well," Kakashi-sensei says brightly. "Looks like we'll be running to the mainland and camping until we're back home. Let that be a lesson to all of us to bring more money next time."
Sakura looks like she's on the verge of either tears or a tantrum and Sasuke looks as blank as always except for the slightly displeased curl of his mouth.
Naruto finds himself a mix of both of their reactions because what?
Bring more money? That was Kakashi-sensei's solution? Just bring more? Like what Naruto knows was in each of their wallets before they left Konoha wasn't a good six months of Naruto's regular budget?
And they've got relatively little to show for the fact that they spent it all?
How??
It's in that moment that the truth hits Naruto directly in the face.
He's the only poor person on this Team. He's the only one of them who has ever had to actually worry about money.
Sakura has parents who actually love and house her, all her mission earnings are pure profit. Kakashi-sensei is probably the shinobi version of rich with his rank and all the high-level missions he's taken. And Sasuke is absolutely the shinobi version of rich with the wealth of an entire Clan at his disposal.
When they run out of money they just ... go get more.
Naruto, with his crumbling apartment and trap-wire thin budget, lives an entirely different kind of life.
They can probably just walk right into the Konoha bank he's sure they all use, the same one Naruto's never been allowed into, and just withdraw more money.
Not Naruto. All of his money, whatever he's scrimped and saved for, has always either been on his person or hidden away in a hollowed space beneath his bed.
For a long moment, Naruto debates with himself. Considers not saying anything and just following along with Kakashi's plan.
But, well, he does have the money and they are his Team.
So ...
"I got this," Naruto huffs out as he holds up his still bulging wallet. "But we're doing it my way and you'd all better pay me back if I spend anything."
He doesn't bother to listen to their protests or whatever they might say or do. Instead he turns on his heel and stalks off towards the docks, intent on finding them a ride to the mainland that doesn't make him want to gouge his eyes out at the price.
Half an hour later finds them settled on the deck of a small fishing vessel, warm pork buns in hand, and Naruto not missing a single yen.
The hoard of shadow clones he has practically crawling over the ship ended up being payment enough for the weathered-looking woman who'd given them passage.
He ignores the way the others stare at him and focuses on eating his lunch, mind already ticking over what Inns he remembers them passing and what he could do to get them a night's stay for the lowest cost possible.
With him in the lead, they manage to make it all the way back to Fire Country without having to pay for much of anything at all. Naruto had bartered everything from his shadow clones to Kakashi-sensei kissing the back of some woman's hand to his own help modeling a kimono while waitressing in his female form at a restaurant in Blouder City for food and lodging.
He'd actually like that last job the most since Tsubame-san had not only let him keep the kimono but he'd made a small fortune in tips as well.
It's not until they stop at the Black River Inn, the last waypoint before they reach Konoha proper, that Naruto finally steps back. Much to the puzzlement of the rest of the team, he lets Kakashi-sensei step up and rent them a room instead.
Tatsuyomi, the man who runs the inn, is the brother-in-law of the woman who runs the Tree Bud in Konoha.
He knows Naruto on sight.
It's not until they're settled into their shared room that night, the others eating a hot meal from the kitchen and Naruto eating the last of meat buns the cook Akira had slipped him before Naruto left the restaurant in Boulder, that someone finally asks.
"How'd you get so good with money, Naruto?" Sakura is the one to break the ice. "Figured you'd blow it all on ramen or something by now."
"He didn't actually pay for much," Sasuke points out quietly. "And nothing full price. He traded and haggled for everything instead."
"Still," Sakura presses. "He's the only one of us who isn't broke and he managed to get us a stay in every Inn we came across on the way home. Kind of weird."
Naruto stops, stares down that the cold meat bun in his hand, eyes squinted almost closed and shoulders tight.
He forces himself to breathe, to let the tension flow off and away.
He takes a bite of his bun.
Chews.
"I've never had parents," Naruto finds himself saying.
Around him the room goes absolutely silent.
"Don't have a Clan or a guardian or anything either," Naruto's shoulders shift restlessly, nails biting into the soft flesh of the bun in his hand. "Been living off the orphan's stipend since I was four. The pay from that is ... there's never been a lot to go around. There's always bills and supplies so I had to learn to make what I had really count. Being hungry for a long time sucks you know? Never want to do that again, not after the first few times. Not unless I have to."
"Y-You get mission pay now though right?" Sakura says, voice low and eyes wide.
"Don't get the stipend anymore though, that stopped when I got my headband," Naruto shrugs again, uncomfortable in his skin for a reason he can't properly name. "And mission pay gets split so ..."
The quiet is thick around them. Sasuke is practically glaring at his bowl and Kakashi-sensei's knuckles are white around the edges of his book.
"But yeah," Naruto finally says as he pushes himself up onto his feet, half eaten bun in hand, and turns to hop up onto the windowsill, "I learned money stuff real young. Probably the only school thing I was ever really good at."
A flex of muscle has him out the window and sitting on the edge of the roof, feet dangling and conversation officially over.
The rest of the night and the journey back to Konoha proper is quiet.
The next time they go on an extended mission outside of the village it's Naruto who's in charge of any and everything even remotely money-related as soon as they pass the border.
And if their mission pay starts getting split three ways instead of four, well, Kakashi-sensei doesn't say anything so Naruto doesn't either.
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cryonme · 3 years
Text
𝐈 𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐁𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐕
PART FIVE- “Just Because They’re Not Here Doesn’t Mean They Stopped Being Wonderful.”
part one here
part two here
part three here
part four here
short series- jj maybank x kook!reader
word count- 4.3k
tw- guns, knives, mentions of weed, stabbing, swearing, mentions of death, fluff 😊, angst 👿, mentions of murder, fighting, drinking, mentions of stitches and hospitals. lmk if I missed anything
a/n- don’t u all love how I said this was gonna be a “short” series and now we’re at 19.2k words total and five parts? and not even done yet? lol. anyway, this chapter is a fucking rollercoaster of emotions and shit gets really real really fast so hold onto your hats, grab some popcorn, and happy reading!
✼  ҉  ✼  ҉  ✼  ҉  ✼  ҉  ✼  ҉  ✼  ҉  ✼  ҉  ✼  ҉  ✼  ҉  ✼  ҉  ✼
“Wait, what the fuck?”
Your friends all stared at you with wide eyes, mouths agape. JJ’s grip tightened on your thigh, you winced a little but he didn’t let up, which you were glad he didn’t.
“Wait, your mom is dead?” John B asked, earning a smack on the back of the head from Sarah.
“You had a sister?!” Pope explained, confusion plastered on his face. “I thought that was just a ru- OW!” A smack from Kiara.
You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. “Yeah.”
“You think you know a person then all of the sudden she has a dead mom and sister who were killed by her step brother that you didn’t know about.” John B said, a hint of humor in his voice.
“This isn’t funny, John B.” Sarah scolded.
“It’s fine, Sarah.” You assured your friend. “Look, I know I’m a shit friend for not telling you guys things about my life. Tyler, the abortion, my mom and sister. And I’ll work on getting better at it but all of that isn’t important right now, okay?” You looked between John B and Pope, waiting expectedly before they both nodded and backed off.
“What makes you say that, (Y/n)?” Kie asked you, fully turning her attention to you.
“Well when- um, when Tyler showed up at my house that day,” You swallowed your fear, sitting up straight and taking a deep breath. “When Tyler showed up at my house that day, he said ‘I did everything I could to get my mom to marry your dad. My mom doesn’t know, but what she doesn’t know won’t kill her, and now you’re ruining everything with your fat fucking mouth.’”
The room was silent. Nobody really knew what to make out of all of this, all this time you had come off so unbothered, like your life was picture perfect and there was never a dark cloud in your sky. Everything that had happened the past couple of weeks came out of nowhere for the group of friends, especially JJ, John B and Pope, who didn’t even know you had a step brother. But when the three thought back on it, they never really asked.
After about a minute of everyone sitting in shock, Sarah spoke up, “Well, we need to tell your dad and Christine, right?’
You shook your head, “Not until I have enough proof. The entire island’s eyes are on me right now and if I’m wrong I make a fool of myself. I know this is gonna sound really stupid but, I need to find Tyler.”
“No.” JJ protested, his voice sharp.
“You’re right, (Y/n). That does sound stupid.” Pope agreed.
“Super stupid.” John B chimed in.
“I love you, but I have never heard more stupid words leave your mouth.” Kiara said.
“Guys, maybe hear her out.” Sarah said.
Kie whipped her head to the side, looking at the blonde girl in bewilderment. “Seriously? I’m not listening to you when all you seem to do is put (Y/n) in more danger.”
“I didn’t mean to! I didn’t know what the fuck to do!” “You tell someone, dumbass!”
“Jesus, you two! Shut the fuck up!” You interjected, standing up and stomping your foot, ignoring the shooting pain going up your leg.
“I came here because I need help, not to sit here and be judged and have you two fight with each other. Kie, lay off. I begged Sarah not to say anything until I was ready, and promised not to go home until I said something, okay? And you two.” You gestured to John B and Pope, “Telling me I’m stupid for something that I haven’t even explained yet is a little premature. Can we all fucking focus?” You had your time to cry and allow yourself to be broken, but now it was time to get shit done.
Kie shrunk in her seat, muttering a half assed “Sorry” under her breath and crossing her arms. John B and Pope nodded, both boys looking down at their shoes. You sat back down and JJ’s hand returned to its rightful spot on your thigh.
“Now, just, listen to me for a second. We,” You put the emphasis on that word so everyone would be a little bit more open to the idea, “Need to find Tyler so we can somehow record a confession from him. I’ll rile him up, and once I get the confession we get the fuck out. Got it?”
“How the fuck are you gonna find him? Even the Sheriff's department can’t find him.” Sarah said.
“Right,” You responded, “First thing to consider, the police are incompetent, especially here. They probably looked at my house and his job before giving up.”
JJ chuckled, shaking his head as he listened to you talk in awe.
“Second thing to consider, I have his number. I can ask him to meet up and talk it out.”
“The more you talk, the more I really don’t like this plan.” JJ muttered, raking his fingers through his hair.
“The more you talk, the more I wanna kick your teeth in.” You smiled sweetly, “This is the only way.” You tried pulling a joke, but JJ’s face remained concerned, so your face fell and you leaned into him. “I’ll be okay, JJ. I’ve been dealing with Tyler for years, okay?”
JJ nodded, taking a deep breath before pulling away from you.
“So what can we do?”
“Wherever I meet up with Tyler, I need you all to be on standby. Someone on lookout, someone hiding near me just in case things go south, and someone waiting in the vam.”
Everyone agreed in unison, nodding their heads. “Anything we can to get this asshole put away.” John B said, giving you an encouraging smile.
+
After going over a few details, and finally sending the text to Tyler that you wanted to meet up, the pogues dispersed around the chateau. Pope was talking Sarah’s ear off about the latest book he had just finished while she politely listened and even threw in a couple of her own thoughts, John B and Kie playfully jabbed long sticks at each other, and JJ stood on the porch, watching you swing by yourself on the hammock, lost in thought. He was trying to decide if he should approach you, or give you space. Just then you turned your head and made eye contact with the blond boy, a soft smile on your face, your signature red lipstick back where it belongs.
Fuck space.
He bounded down the stairs and made his way over to you on the hammock, plopping down next to you. Neither of you said anything for a couple minutes, there wasn’t much to say.
“I was 14.” You said, breaking the silence, causing JJ’s head to turn towards you. He stayed silent as you continued.
“Hit and run.” You laughed bitterly. “My little sister was 12. We were finally getting to the point where we didn’t fight everyday, we were becoming friends. She had just started asking me for advice about boys and was always asking to have sleepovers.” You smiled, remembering your little sister fondly. “It still hurts. It’ll always hurt, I think. But, I’ve learned I can’t change what happened, and I try to be thankful for the time I had with her. I would say she probably wouldn’t want me to be sad, but that’s not true, she loved attention.” JJ laughed with you this time.
“What’s her name?” JJ asked.
“Layla.” You responded, her name feeling weird on your tongue. You hadn’t said her name in years. “And my mom, gosh there was no one like my mom.” JJ wasn’t asking, but you were telling.
“She just always understood, you know? She’d let me stay home if my mind was taking over, she continued to buy the ice cream I told her was my favorite when I was 7, I didn’t have the heart to tell her I didn’t like it anymore.” You frowned, staring at your hands. “Christine is great, I love her with everything in me. But sometimes I wish she was in my life under different circumstances.”
JJ nodded in understanding, taking his hand in yours and pressing a lingering kiss to it. “They sound wonderful.”
“They are- were.”
JJ shook his head, “Just because they’re not here doesn’t mean they stopped being wonderful.”
You yanked JJ’s hand so his arm wrapped around your shoulder and you leaned into him, earning a sweet kiss on the top of your head.
“You’re sweet, princess.” You teased, using the nickname that you would use when the two of you fought.
“Tell anyone and you’re dead meat, baby.”
You laughed, resting your head on his chest. “What changed your mind about me?” You asked, biting your bottom lip.
JJ thought for a moment, mulling over his words to avoid saying the wrong thing.
“I never changed my mind.”
Your heart dropped as you began to pull away, feeling embarrassed.
“Uh uh uh, let me finish.” JJ pulled you back against him and you huffed. “I never changed my mind because I’ve felt this way about you all along. I’ve never had such strong feelings for a person before, so when you came along I mistook all of the signs as hatred. My mom left and my dad…” JJ trailed off for a moment, trying to put together his words in the least concerning way possible, “My dad takes his anger out on me. And I just never really learned how to receive love, or how to understand it.”
Your heart sank at JJ’s words. All those times he’d show up to the Chateau with bruises and scrapes, telling everyone to fuck off instead of boasting about how he “totally kicked that kooks ass”, it was his dad.
“JJ-”
“Mmm, let’s not do that now, yeah? Just know I’ve adored you this whole time, I was just too stupid to see it.”
“When did you change your mind about me?” JJ asked.
You pondered for a moment, thinking back on when you first started thinking of JJ differently.
“That night at the Boneyard, when Tyler showed up. I was dancing with Pope and all I could think was, ‘I need JJ’, and then there you were. I didn’t want you to ever leave my side again. When you took me back to the Chateau and sat me down on the couch, I was confused because I felt so safe and loved, more than I ever have. It was so out of the blue. Hours before we had just been screaming at each other and then I never wanted you to let me go.”
“You’re making this really hard, Red.” JJ huffed, running a hand over his face.
“What?” You asked craning your neck to look up at him.
“Not kissing you.”
You sat up from your position on his chest, turning your body so you were facing each other, your legs hanging off one side of the hammock and his off the other.
“Then kiss me.”
“(Y/n)...”
“What, scared?”
JJ didn’t say anything, he just looked at you. You had that striking red grin, and your eyes held that glint of mischief and joy.
“You were just inconsolable like, an hour ago.”
“But I’m not now.”
“I-”
“Please, JJ.” You pouted, your eyes big and your frown deep as you slowly reached for him.
And he couldn’t say no to that face.
He slowly brought his hand up to cradle the side of your neck, his thumb resting on your cheek as his face slowly leaned into yours, his hand softly pulling you closer by the neck. You brought one hand up to the back of his neck, burying your fingers in his hair as his other hand found its place on your waist. You stared at each other for a moment, noses barely touching. Your heart was beating so fast you felt like it was about to crawl out of your throat, the anticipation was driving you crazy but you were also cherishing every second of it, just being so close to him, knowing what’s about to happen.
His lips just barely brushed over yours and your entire body erupted in butterflies, goosebumps dancing all up and down your arms and legs.
“You fucker.” You teased and JJ giggled before fully planting his lips on yours. You felt like you had been on fire and had been dumped into an ice bath. The relief that covered your entire body and soul was something you had never felt before. You had kissed plenty of people in your lifetime, and nothing had ever compared to the feeling you had kissing JJ.
You pulled away for a moment to catch your breath, but JJ whined and pulled you back into him, bringing you to sit on his lap as he continued to kiss you. You both giggled and broke apart when you nearly toppled out of the hammock, JJ’s hands immediately steadying you. He looked up at you while stroking your cheekbone with his thumb before planting soft kisses to your arm, trailing his lips up to your shoulder, neck, cheek and finally one last sweet kiss on your lips.
“Well it’s about goddamn time!” John B yelled as the rest of the pogues whooped and hollered, jumping up and down. Both of you flipped off your friends and JJ kissed you once more, your middle fingers still in the air.
“You’re fucking incredible.” JJ muttered once you broke yet another kiss.
“I know.” You smirked.
Once JJ helped you off the hammock, with a lot of wincing and you telling him his kissing made your bruised lip hurt, you made your way back over to your friends, an unmistakable feeling of joy filling everyone’s hearts.
John B handed you and JJ a beer, which you had to decline because of your concussion, much to your dismay, but you gladly took the joint that Kie offered you, blowing out the smoke into JJ’s mouth before taking the hit for yourself. The sun started to set on the Chateau, so Pope and John B set up a fire and Kie brought out her ukulele, her and Sarah singing in harmony to Over the Rainbow by Israel Kamakawiwo’ole. Your heart swelled in your chest listening to JJ quietly singing along with his arm slung around your shoulders, his face was tinted the slightest shade of pink from being in the sun all day, making his eyes look impossibly more blue. You knew tomorrow brought troubles and anxiety, but you pushed them to the back of your mind, enjoying this beautiful moment with your friends. You rested your head on JJ’s shoulder, your hand coming up to hold his that was around your shoulder, placing a gentle kiss on his hand. JJ blushed and squeezed you just a little bit tighter.
“(Y/n), you staying the night?”
You smiled and nodded, your eyes a bit droopy from the weed. You had texted Christine already, telling her you were staying the night and assuring her that everyone was staying the night and you were safe.
“Yes!” Sarah exclaimed, getting up from her spot next to John B. “More beer?” Everyone apart from you nodded as Sarah made her way inside the house to grab more cold beer.
“Aw, well if it isn’t the goonies.”​​
That voice.
Tyler approached the Chateau, Topper, Kelce and Rafe hot on his heels.
Everyone stood up immediately, JJ pushed you behind him without a second thought.
“Heard my baby sister wanted to meet up tonight, thought I’d come to her, spare her the trouble.” Tyler said, shoving his hands in his pockets.
You were appreciative of JJ’s protectiveness over you, but this was your fight. “I know what you did, Tyler.” You said, trying your hardest to hide the shakiness in your voice as you pushed JJ out of your way, taking a couple steps forward.
“There she is!” Tyler exclaimed, gesturing his arms to you. “You don’t know shit, dumbass.”
“You killed my mom and sister.”
“Me?” Tyler raised a hand to his chest in shock and turned to his friends, who all shook their heads like you were crazy. “I would never do such a thing.” “You said-”
“Did you hit your head too hard the other day? Sounds to me like you’re making things up.”
He was trying to make you feel crazy, and you weren’t putting up with it.
“What was your plan, huh?” You asked, standing your ground. “Hit my mom and my little sister with your car, devastating my family so my dad could go running into your unknowing mother’s arms. Were you gonna kill all of us next so you could get the money? How exactly did you plan on doing that?”
Tyler’s chest was heaving up and down, sharp breaths coming in and out of his nose.
“Layla was 12 years old, you psychopath.”
“I never meant to kill your fucking sister!”
And there it was. Eerie silence fell over the Chateau like a heavy blanket.
“You motherfucker.” You shrieked, stomping forward and sending your hand flying across his cheek. Before you could even blink, Tyler had his hand around your throat and the barrel of a gun pressed to your jaw. Everything seemed to move in slow motion. You could see the pogues, Kiara with a hand over her mouth and tears in her eyes, hugging Sarah close to her, John B and Pope holding JJ back, his eyes wild with anger and fear. You could see Topper and Kelce with wide eyes, obviously unaware of the gun in your step brother's possession. You could see Rafe with a knowing grin on his face. Bastard.
You were terrified, panic surging through your body as you tried to stay still so you wouldn’t anger him with any sudden movements.
“Any of you even think about moving and I kill her!” He screamed.
“Tyler, put the gun down man, what the fuck?” Topper said, his voice calm, trying to talk him down.
“Fuck you!”
And suddenly Tyler was on the ground, the gun flying into the darkness. JJ wasted no time running to your step brother, grabbing him by his shirt collar and beating his face with his fists. You and Rafe made eye contact before both of you made a break for the gun, scrambling through the darkness. Rafe tackled you down and tried to reach for it, but you kneed him in the crotch, hoping to buy you a couple seconds. The Cameron boy groaned and held his area, toppling over and whining in a fetal position.
“Pussy boy.” You rolled your eyes and crawled toward the gun, smiling once it was in your grip before Rafe pulled you back by your ankle. You flipped over onto your back and pointed the gun at him.
“You don’t have the guts.”
“Self defense, bitch. Now get off of me.”
Rafe backed up with his hands in the air and you made your way back to the group, gun in hand, still pointed at Rafe. Tyler and JJ were going at it, both throwing punches and kicks, the rest of the group fighting off Topper and Kelce.
“Back off my friends or I'll shoot!” You yelled, and everyone stopped and turned to you with your gun pointed at Rafe. The three kooks backed off with their hands up in surrender.
“You won’t shoot me, Little Red.” Tyler said, walking closer to you.
“I will if you try anything.” You responded, taking the gun off of Rafe and shoving him forward so he was still in your eyesight, now pointing it at Tyler.  
“You stay away from her!” JJ yelled, charging towards Tyler but quickly being held back by Rafe and Topper.
Tyler got so close to you that the gun was touching his t-shirt.
Why was he testing you? He had to have something up his sleeve.
The motherfucker literally had something up his sleeve.
Tyler tore a switchblade out of his jacket sleeve and jabbed it into your collarbone, and in the same second you fired the gun.
Your brain felt fuzzy, you couldn’t even feel the knife in your collarbone, the only way you knew it was there was because you could see it sticking out of the corner of your eye.
You heard screams, multiple screams.
Footsteps running away.
Was someone crying?
Were you crying?
Everyone ran to you, JJ leading the group, so he got to you first. He immediately put his hands on your face, frantically searching your eyes before you dropped to your knees, JJ following suit.
“Baby, look at me.” He said firmly. Someone gently took the gun from your hands, why were you still holding it? You brought your hand up to touch the knife, crying out in pain from the smallest touch.
“No, don’t touch it, okay? Leave it alone, paramedics are on their way okay?”
You still didn’t look at him, your eyes were wide as you stared at everyone around you, their faces full of concern.
“She’s in shock.” Pope stated. He was crouched in front of you, next to JJ. “Try to bring her back to reality.”
“How the fuck do I do that?” JJ snapped.
“Chill, JJ! Talk to her, touch her, anything!”
JJ’s left hand continued to cradle your face and you leaned into his touch as his right hand threaded through your hair. “You’re okay, okay? Can you talk to me?” His voice broke, tears beginning to fill his blue eyes.
Your eyes wandered away from the group and landed on Tyler’s body, lifeless. You let out a gasp as if all of the wind had been knocked out of your body.
“I killed him.” You rasped.
JJ quickly moved in front of the body, blocking your view of him. Your breathing was shallow as you brought your hands up to your neck, trying to claw at the skin to make way for you to breathe. Pope’s hands gently grabbed yours, moving them away from your neck and holding them in your lap. JJ gave him a thankful nod and he situated himself in front of you.
“Christine-” Your body flooded with guilt and sadness for your stepmom, that was her son. He may have done unspeakable things to you and her family but that was her son. And you killed him.
“Hey, hey, hey. Shhh,” JJ was quick to stop the terrible thought. “You had to, okay? She’ll understand. Just focus on me, baby.”
You nodded and squeezed Pope’s hands, focusing your eyes on JJ’s.
“You’re doing so good, pretty girl. Just a couple more minutes, okay?”
You nodded again. The pain in your collarbone was beginning to worsen as your shock wore off and you whimpered.
Great, you thought, another fucking injury to make my life even better.
Really your whole body hurt, your concussion and bruises worsening and stitches ripping open from Rafe tackling you to the ground.
“It hurts.” You whine, a single tear escaping from your eye, JJ wiped it before it could run down your face. “I know.” He whispered. “I know, my love, I’m so sorry.” He rested his forehead on yours, trying his best to give you as much comfort as he could without pulling you against him and driving the blade further in.
“Fuck, you guys. We didn’t get a recording.” Kie said, slapping her palm against her forehead. You removed one hand from Pope’s and worked through your pain and brought your phone out of your back pocket, tossing it on the ground, not having enough strength to hand it to her.
John B picked it up and smiled, your phone had been recording the entire time, starting just a minute after Tyler made himself known at the Chateau.
“(Y/n), you magnificent kook.” John B said, giving your arm a squeeze. You had moved your forehead to rest on JJ’s shoulder, your body posed awkwardly to avoid the knife being touched, one hand still in Pope’s.
Everyone was relieved, but the dead body in their presence and the knife in your body made it hard to be completely relieved. Once the paramedics and police arrived, JJ had to release you from his hold, watching the paramedics put you on the gurney and load you in the back of the ambulance, by yourself, for the second time.
Kiara and Pope were talking to the police, showing them the proof on your phone and the gun and walking them through everything that happened while JJ watched the ambulance drive away, as soon as it was out of sight he broke down, John B quick to pull his friend into his arms, Sarah gently leaned her head on his back, her hand coming up to stroke his back
“She doesn’t deserve any of this.” JJ cried, holding onto his best friend. He knew you were gonna be okay, the paramedics said the knife would be easy to remove and they could stitch up the wound easily, but he was worried about you. You would never be the same.
“She doesn’t.” John B agreed.
“I just want her to be okay.”
“I know, bubba, me too.” John B replied, his own tears brimming in his eyes, “She will be.”
JJ could feel Sarah shaking against him, her tears wetting his shirt and he unravelved in arm from John B to bring her into the hug. “Get in here, kook princess.” JJ teased through his tears. Pope and Kiara soon joined the group hug, comforting their friends through touch.
“What did Shoupe say?” JJ asked once they all pulled away, wiping at his tears.
“They said (Y/n)’s okay, a very obvious case of self defense, but they’re still going to ask her a couple questions once she’s of sound mind.” Pope answered and Kiara nodded.
“Thank God.” Sarah breathed out and JJ’s shoulders relaxed in relief, one less thing to worry about.
“Well why are we all just standing here?” John B asked after a couple moments of silence. “Let’s go see our girl.”
+
“I am still meeeeee you are still youuuuu” I couldn’t get that damn song out of my head while I was writing this
my masterlist 
taglist: @avatarastra @rowanwashere @luniibin @imjustanothernerd @maddyasleson @vntgkenz @ponyboys-sunsets @imawhoreforu @maybvnks @tpwkcth @steves-cake-face @ellavalentine1844 @aleksanderwh0r3 @sunsetloveblvd @fallingfavourites @ajxlawley @sarahcameronswhore @24kkenn @perfectnouis @heartbeats-wildly @fandoms039 @gopromises @xxxlaura @6r4cie @mendesmaybank @moonysluvr @kiwi5335 @jjs-pope @aliyahsomerhalder @parkershoco @abm111815 @allaloneisokay @father-violet @yourbloodyqueen @sweetpeterparker @holachicos @llilacwine wine @wishpretty @welcome2-theshitshow @nope-thanks @sarahs-bitch @oopsiedoopsie23 @kexrtiz @chenlemure @sarahxcameron @yoongitoo @gloryekaterina @caseysalvatore @moniamaybank @futur3milf @matbarzalschain @americaarse @stilynskii @iamthatbitchhh @rmvb24
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astaroth1357 · 4 years
Text
Demonic Pregnancy (But It Makes the MC… Problematic)
Okay, so hear me out. I know the prevailing idea is that a human getting pregnant with a supernatural kid would sap their strength and what not… But what if the opposite happened? So basically, getting pregnant by the brothers would make the MC physically stronger, but more susceptible to their sin… Oh this is going to be fun. 😈
Trigger Warning: Pregnancy
Lucifer
First noticed something was up when the MC came into his office to bring him coffee and casually ripped the door of its hinges… with one hand… by the handle…
He didn’t even have time to be mad about it because he was already frantically texting Diavolo and Barbs that there was something very wrong with the human. They’re not supposed to do that.
Meanwhile MC is in the background marveling at the newly freed door in their hand… They hadn’t even thought about it! Is this what having power is like?? Are they actually dangerous now??? Better not let it go to their head…
*it is totally going to go to their head*
Lucifer learns two things pretty quickly, (1) The human is pregnant with his child and (2) They’ve just been given access to a whole lot of power and they’re mind is set on one thing: Domination.
The next nine months for him are spent practically having to leash the MC or else they’ll go out to pick fights with anything that moves to prove their “superiority”… His brothers and even Diavolo included!
It wouldn’t be so bad if their body wasn’t still very human and very breakable… and also they’re PREGNANT, so please STOP!!
This baby, honestly, could not come fast enough… Good thing demons don’t develop grey hairs… Poor guy…
Mammon
Noticed something was up when they were chatting out at RAD and they dodged a stray ball from Beel. 
They dodged a ball. From Beel. And he throws at, like, Mach 7 speed… And it didn’t even look hard!
… But being the dumbass that he is, he just thought they had gotten a lot better at their magic. It was Lucifer who saw something wasn’t right when the MC was actually holding their own against Mammon and Beel in a race.
Was thrilled by the news at first but then quickly learned that he must have infected them with Greed somehow…
They wouldn’t stop begging for new stuff! Sometimes for him or the baby, but mostly just whatever struck their fancy the second that they saw it.
He’d try to tell them no but then they’d look all sad or whine about hard it was to be pregnant and how they couldn’t do things like tie their shoes or stand for long periods of time or…
(Never mind the fact that they could bench-press Beel if they wanted to, no no, that didn’t matter.)
His nine months were pretty much spent pandering to Lucifer and Levi for more loans to keep his MC happy… and praying they’d snap out of it after the baby finally came because he CANNOT keep paying for their crap…! 😥
Leviathan
MC and Levi playing games in his room and one of their online matches got particularly heated… The MC may or may not be prone to gamer rage, but that night they got so frustrated that they snapped his controller in half like a toothpick…
They were too busy trying to frantically apologize to take notice of their sheer strength, but HE did. And he was thrilled!!
Like, sure, it sucks that he’d have to buy a new controller but that was So. Cool. Their strength was like something out of a shonen!! He was honestly fanboying too hard to question, “Wait a minute, how did they even get that strong??” The MC later went to Lucifer themselves to get it all got sorted out (really Levi was no help whatsoever) and man was he shocked by the news…
Though he was even more shocked by the sudden spike of jealousy that they seemed to exhibit afterward… Like, extreme “You better not leave my sight” level jealousy… 😣
One the one hand, he’s kind of into it because being alone with the MC is all he’s ever wanted!… but on the other hand, dude really wants some space… 
He tolerates the next nine months for three reasons: (1) He does honestly love the MC, (2) Watching them break (other people’s) stuff and fight demons with their bare hands will never stop being cool, and (3) He’s somewhat afraid of what they’d do if he tried to leave so…  😥
Let’s hope the effects are temporary…
Satan
Found out something was wrong when he and the MC went to the park. He saw an old acquaintance of his and left to go say hi but came back to find that the MC had uprooted an entire park bench to squash a nosy lesser demon…
Nothing, absolutely NOTHING, he’d ever read about humans told him that they were capable of that!
Figuring this has some kind of magic origin, he doesn’t bring them to Lucifer but to their resident human sorcerer instead, Solomon…
…and THAT bright idea ended up getting the MC magic tag-along throughout their pregnancy since Solomon wanted to make "a few” observations, the lying bastard… 🙄
Even more unfortunate though, is that the introduction of Wrath into their system also gave the MC an utterly monstrous temper which didn’t help their newfound strength at all…
Poor Satan gets saddled with caring for what amounts to a hair-triggered glass cannon… (though really it’s less protecting them from the world and the world from them 😣).
Needless to say, he’s lost quite a few bookcases over the next several months…
Asmodeus
It was another night with Asmo, so another night out clubbing. He and MC were together for most of the time, but they had left him briefly to get another round of drinks… and somehow got dragging into a straight up brawl in the process.
And they WON…
Asmo brought them right to Lucifer after that. Like, he loves you sweetie, but there were like ten lesser demons there and no way a little human like yourself could pull that off without something being up.
Oh he was overjoyed by the news, but the real test was yet to come… Who would give out first? The Avatar of Lust or a very, very, astronomically horny MC…?
In truth, no one in the House ever wants to talk about what happened for those next nine months ever again… The things they saw… The things they heard… Filthy, filthy things….. 😖
And more broken beds than anyone could care to count…
Let’s just say that they’re all happy the MC was already pregnant, otherwise they’d be dealing with a LOT more demon babies running around… What a hellscape that would be…
Beelzebub
The MC was helping him move some of his weights between rooms. They were only supposed to carry the lighter ones (which really weren’t that light) but they were carrying them so easily that the two got suspicious… They tried to lift one of his heaviest barbells and, to their amazement, they picked it up even easier than he could!
They both just kind of stared at each other for a few seconds before calmly agreeing to go find Lucifer. This probably wasn’t normal…
What pregnancy even was had to be explained to Beel since he doesn’t really understand humans and he only needed one thing confirmed…
So, they’re eating for two now?
And boy did they act like it! The MC’s appetite practically tripled as the months went on and he did his best to keep up for them. He even missed a meal or two for the first time in his life because he was so preoccupied making sure his MC had enough to eat… 😣
Their tastes also got weirder as time went on… At one point they asked for Solomon’s cooking which nearly had him “Nope-ing” out of the relationship right there. He stuck through it to make them happy, but he couldn’t watch them eat it… Even he has his limits, MC… 😟🤢
Wants the baby to come out already if for no other reason than he can finally go back to being the biggest eater of the House again. Having to work around two is a nightmare for everyone…
Belphegor
Would you believe he straight up didn’t know for weeks?
Like, they told him they were pregnant a while ago but all the pregnancy seemed to do was make them really sleepy…
Combine their naps with how often he’s dead to the world and it just never got brought up. 🤷‍♀️
That was until the day it was his turn to vacuum the common room and the MC was resting on the couch…
“MC, can you move? I need to get under there.”
“Hm? Oh, sure. Let me help.”
They then proceeded to get up and lift the couch with one hand like they were Beel or something!
He was, perhaps, slightly miffed that they didn’t think it was necessary to mention they had gotten a butt ton stronger for like a month, but you know…
Belphie has probably the easiest time managing his MC anyway because ALL they want to do is sleep. At most he just has to take on the responsibility to remind them to eat and move around a little.
Lucky bastard always gets off easy… 😖
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clonecyare · 3 years
Text
I Can Handle Myself
Summary: You were perfectly capable of handling yourself when it came to matters of your safety. But that would never stop Fox from doing his part.
Pairing: Commander Fox x senator!reader
Tags: assination attempts, protective fox, senator!reader, republic gala, canon typical violence/shenanigans, banter, secret relationship, kissing, suggestive ending,
Word Count: 1.8k
A/N: The 2nd instalment of my outfit series. This one is based on this outfit submitted by @murdertoothpick for Fox. Each fic in the series can be read as stand-alone fics.
1st instalment: Playing a Dangerous Game - Captain Rex x medic/!reader
|| Masterlist || Tag list ||
----
“I am going to say this one more time, Commander. I do not need a babysitter for this Gala, I am more than capable of handling myself.” You said matter-of-factly as you walked through the halls of the senate, datapad in hand, tapping perhaps a little passive-aggressively on the screen.
Commander Fox chuckled under his bucket, and you narrowed your eyes at him.
“With all due respect, Senator, you were the target of an assassination attempt 4 days ago.”
“And I survived. Nobody would be stupid enough to try a second attempt at Republic Gala, not with the Senate present.”
Fox chuckled and fell in step with you, bumping shoulders with you as you walked. “Maybe so, but it’s the wishes of the Chancellor that you have a member of the Guard escort you, while the rest patrol the Gala.”
You stopped outside the entryway to your office and put one hand on your hip, datapad and a stack of flimsi files clutched under one arm and pointing accusingly at Fox with the other from behind the death grip you had on your caf. “You’re enjoying this.”
You nodded politely to Hound who had been standing guard at your office, and he saluted with a polite, “Ma’am.” He took his leave as Fox took his place, leaning against the doorway with his head tilted as you punched in the keycode. The doors slid open, and he followed you inside, removing his bucket with a gentle hiss and holding it under his arm against his hip.
You couldn’t help but stare a little, just briefly. He was sporting a few soft grey hairs at the sides of his neatly trimmed hair. It made him appear just a slight bit older and more sophisticated, the neat locks of loose hair framing his handsome face.
“Perhaps a little. I do get quite the kick of you not getting your own way.”
His smug comment brought your attention back to the present and you muttered something in response with narrowed eyes. Dropping the stack of files and the datapad on your desk, you hopped up to sit on the edge and crossed one knee over the other. The lightweight fabric of your skirt sported a high slit, exposing the skin of your legs and upper thigh.
You sighed, resigned to your fate and leaned back on one palm, swirling the steaming caf in your paper takeaway cup.
“Who will be my knight in shining red armour, then?”
You asked as you blew on the hot caf and took a sip.
Fox, whose eyes has been previously occupied following the slit of your skirt up to your thigh, snapped out of his daydream and plastered a handsome smirk on his face.
“Oh, that would be me. I’ll pick you up at 7 sharp, mesh’la.”
“Wha-” You did a rather ungracious spit take withyour coffee, as the Commander slid his helmet back on and moved through your office doors with one final look back at you.
“Oh, and don’t be late.”
----
Leaning into the mirror you carefully applied the deep crimson red lipstick, treating the task with the utmost delicacy, lest you waste your look entirely. You stepped back once you were through and took a moment to admire your handiwork.
Dressed head to toe in deep, rich red tones and soft fabrics, you felt you had outdone yourself this time. If you were to be on your Commander’s arm all evening, the least you could do was make an effort, right?
You smirked softly, tilting your head in the mirror. Yeah, this would show him.
You had decided to go for an elegant gown for this evening, floor-length and a deep wine red in colour. The upper portion was a bodice lined with velvet and fitted to your body, with sleek black linear detailing down the front. Around the upper edge and over the shape of your chest was lined with intricate gold detailing.
In the centre of your chest, just under the hollow of your throat, sat a delicate golden brooch, which held from each side 2 long strips of the same wine-red material from your dress, draped prettily back over your shoulders, accentuating your chest and neck.
You had chosen several simple gold jewellery items, and tied your hair up into an intricate bun, completing your look and signature red lip. You were just touching up the corners of your lipstick when there was a firm knock at your door.
You headed for the door, opening it with a smile.
“Good evening, Commander.”
You smiled, voice sweet like honey. Your Commander, to your delight, was stood frozen in the doorway looking at you. In one hand he held the cap of his dress greys and in the other, a bouquet of Queen’s Heart flowers.
“Fox?”
You smiled softly and reach a hand out to touch his forearm. The gentle touch broke him from his stare and he quickly cleared his throat, offering you the bouquet with a bow. “For you.”
You smiled and took them with a courtesy, “they’re beautiful, come in, let me find a spot for them.” You stepped aside to let him in, finding the perfect spot for the flowers on your table.
When you turned back, Fox was watching you again, though this time he was smiling handsomely. You smiled back, “well, how do I look?”
“Mesh’la. Truly mesh’la.” He smiled as he offered his arm. Your cheeks flamed a pretty pink, bringing a satisfied smirk to the Commander’s face as you slid your arm through his own.
You locked up the apartment and made your way strangely quiet Senate District. The air was crisp against your skin, cooling the warmth you felt where you were brushing arms with the soldier lightly.
“You know, you clean up pretty well outside of all that plastoid.”
You smiled playfully, looking up at him. He smiled back, chuckling and shaking his head lightly, hair bouncing lightly in the gentle breeze. “Is that so?”
“Mhmm. I would go so far as to say a 10/10.”
Fox groaned deeply in his chest, head hanging sightly. You swore it was to hide his smile.
“I hate you.”
You smiled fondly and pressed into his side, free hand resting on his arm that was holding yours.
“No, you don’t.”
----
Perhaps you may have been wrong about the Gala. Fox had his reputation for being a little… prickly, at the best of times. But, as the over the top affairs go, the Commander had proven himself quite the charmer.
He has stayed dutifully by your side most of the evening, So, having a bodyguard was, as it turned out, a blessing in disguise - though you would never admit as much to anyone else. Far fewer senatorial aides tried to approach you upon spotting the head of the Coruscant Guard on your arm. Even several of the more conservative senators passed you by upon receiving his death glare.
At one point, towards the end of the evening, you had even managed to convince the stoic Commander to join you on the ballroom floor to dance. Well, sway, would be more accurate. The two of you moved around the room in a gentle sway, you humming softly along to the tune while Fox rested his cheek atop your head.
You raised your glass of Algarine wine to your lips in an almost mini toast, “Well Commander, it seems we had noth-”
Your words died in your throat as the glass suddenly shattered in your hand. The blaster bolt that has cause it clipped your right cheek, leaving a trail of blood in its wake. A roar of commotion suddenly filled the room, with several masked individuals pushing through the crowd. Most of the shots were trained on you, but you now noticed a group of them firing off into the guests as a distraction.
“Get down. Now!”
Fox barked, crowding you to the floor. Thire and Thorn were already pushing through the crowds, firing at 2 of the intruders and calling in backup.
“Commander!”
Hound threw Fox’s blasters towards him and took off after one of the assailants, Stone calling for backup. The leader of the group was faster, though, taking another shot that you managed to dodge as Fox tackled him, throwing himself between you and the hitman, and knocking his blaster from his hands. The pair wrestled for the single DC-17 that had fallen between them, each landing several punches.
In the end, the hitman got the upper hand. Blood rushed to your ears, cancelling out the commotion behind you. As soon as he pulled the pistol on the Commander, you were behind him, panting heavily, pistol to the back of his head.
“Drop it. Now. I promise I’m faster.”
Fox looked at you with wide eyes, before the dropped to your exposed thigh and the small holster secured around your upper thigh, soft brown irises slowly darkening. Discreet, made for a small pistol like an ELG-3A.
The man dropped the blaster and Fox grabbed him by the scruff of the neck, binding his wrists and looking over his shoulder at you with a chuckle as he pushed the man towards one of the Corries that had arrived.
The room was emptying now, only a few shaken aides left milling around, and few vod who were cleaning up and securing the room. Fox lifted a hand to brush a few hairs back behind your ear, and you smiled.
“I told you I could handle myself.”
Fox laughed, holding your cheek as his calloused thumb swiped over your cheek, wiping away the trail of blood. “Yes, you most certainly did, cyar’ika.”
You turned your cheek into his palm and pressed a light kiss, looking up at him.
Fox took one precursory look around the ballroom and bent down, kissing you hard. It wasn’t soft or sweet like you knew they could be. It wasn’t careful and quick, like so many of your kisses had to be in order to remain a secret.
It was rushed, and desperate. You could practically feel the adrenalin rolling off him in waves. It was an oddly comforting feeling, one you had grown to know only too well. The kind Fox radiated after gruelling sessions guarding the Senate. Or after the occasional run-in with the cesspool of Coruscant’s underworld.
But it was most notable in these moments. When you had found a way to put yourself in the firing line again. When he couldn’t let his mask slip, when he couldn’t treat you as more than a senator under his protection. When all he could do was his job.
It was these moments afterwards that he needed you the most, that you needed him. It was in these moments, you knew exactly what you both needed.
You broke away, eyes never leaving his own as you took his arm.
“Take me home, Fox.”
----
Tag list:
@captainrexsfuturewife
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Note
Hi! I saw that youre accepting requests and thought id drop one! Can you do the brothers reacting to MC taking their hands and kissing their knuckes gently, just out of the blue? I think that'd be cute! ^^ Thanks in advance! <3
ADHAKENFIQJ HIIII!!!! ♡♡♡
I kind of got a bit carried away with this oops
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Kissing The Brother's Knuckles
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Warning: A lot of uncensored swearing efkswknfkanec
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Lucifer
This man pratically wears gloves 24/7 I swear at some point he even slept with them, as in just fucking passed out on his chair and slept for like, 30 minutes before getting back to work please someone save this man-
So honestly, kissing his bare knuckles ain't gonna be easy.
So the best opportunity is when you guys sleep together on an actual bed, so he remembers to take that almost-second-pair-of-skin-gloves off.
Just stare into his eyes, give a smile, grasp his hand and bring to your lips.
He will be blushing and and his heart fluttering and it's too early for this-
.
Mammon
You cannot tell me that at some point you guys didn't end up headbutting because both of you went for a knuckle kiss at the same time.
It's so fucking cheesy I swear, his brother's have a board where they keep count on how many kuckle kisses you guys have given each other.
It has no functional purpose, it just makes them all feel jealous.
He is always so happy when you kiss his kuckles though, you know that blushy smile of his as he gives out a giggle. He will always, always kiss yours right back.
.
Leviathan
First of all, he always has his hands hidden inside his pockets or busy playing a game so how the heck.
Second of all, do you want to give him a heart attack?! is that what you want?!?!
Just holding hands makes him brain melt, kiss his kuckles and he will make a sound really close to a deflating balloon.
If you keep on giving pecks into each of his kuckles he will become so embarrassed he may snatch his hand away, and then proceed to regret his decisions, like a puppy that keeps growling when you want to pet it but then you go away and suddenly they're whinning at your feet, begging for you to come back.
Chances are he will try to reciprocate at some point.
.
Satan
Is this a challenge?
I bet this cheesy piece of shit probably has a whole essay on hand related romantic gestures.
It starts off pretty innocent, you give his kuckles a lil' peck, he jumps a bit, gives you a smile and kisses yours right back, sometimes accompained with a wink.
Then at some point he nibbled on your knuckles to tease you.
And somehow now you guys have a full new way to express yourselves solely on what you do with each other's knuckles.
Deep, long smooches, short pecks, nibbles, full on bitting, everyone else is so confused.
.
Asmodeus
This man probably not only already kisses your knuckles whenever he can but kisses every siggle damn bone he can in your body.
He thinks he's smooth, but the moment you kiss his knuckles back he just straight up squeaks.
You can literally see the personification of Heart Eyes every time you do it, he may even start to make excuses for you to have a reason to focus your attention to his hands and possibly give his knuckles a lil' kiss.
He's just too cute so please shower his knuckles with as much kisses as you can, he will melt.
.
Beelzebub
If you kiss his knuckles in normal situations, like just walking while holding hands, he won't give much of a reaction other than a big cute ass giddy smile, a chuckle, and a peck rignt back at your knuckles.
Which, okay, it's enough to cleanse your soul of all the bullshit the world throws at you, but how to make him melt?
The usual strategy: Food.
Beel most likely loves hand feeding, be it you feeding him or him feeding you.
So when it happens, just grab the hand he is using to feed you and drop a smooch or more into his knuckles.
He will immediatelly malfunction.
.
Belphegor
He is a slut for any type of kisses and you cannot tell me otherwise.
Will straight up turn back from his path to the next napping spot just to get one if you appear in his line of sight.
So knuckle kisses? On his hand? He will straight up wrap himself around you.
If you're standing, he will let go of your hand to wrap his arm around your waist and pull you closer, chances are he uses his other hand to hold your hand again and give a kiss into your kuncles too.
If you're sitting or laying down though? Full on octopus and will not move unless it's an emergency.
Watch out as he might fall asleep lol.
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luci-in-trenchcoats · 3 years
Text
If I Fell For You (Part 3) - A Moment
Tumblr media
Summary: Jensen is away from home for a few days but isn’t having the easiest time being away from the kids for the first time since the accident. When he returns home, he has a gala to attend on Saturday night but a kiss on the cheek and slip of the tongue will snowball into the reader and Jensen sharing a moment...
Masterlist
Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader
Word Count: 6,100ish
Warnings: language, death of a spouse, death of a parent, anxiety, self-worth problems, referenced past harassment
A/N: I love this part so much for so many reasons. Please enjoy!
________
“Hi Jensen,” you asked Monday night when your phone rang. “How was your flight earlier?”
“Same old same old. I just got out of work,” he said with a yawn. “Gonna grab a bite out with a friend. Kids eat dinner okay?”
“We had honey sriracha glazed salmon with brussel sprouts and roasted red potatoes.”
“Really?”
“They had kraft mac and cheese and I had Taco Bell.”
“See this is why I like you,” he chuckled.
“I’ll try the salmon again tomorrow. I was gonna make it but they didn’t have any at the store,” you said, opening the fridge and taking out a pint of ice cream. “Hey can I have what’s left of this mint ice cream?”
“Sure. Pick some more up for me sometime before friday please,” he said. “Also, Taco Bell? You do realize we live in freaking Austin right. There are literally hundreds of places you can go that have better mexican food.”
“Yeah but fake cheese tastes good,” you said. He laughed and your stomach rumbled. “I so should have gotten more than two tacos.”
“You in the kitchen?” he asked. You hummed and you heard him let out an oof in the background.
“Yeah. You alright?”
“This bed in my hotel room is comfy,” he said. “But I was starting to say, go in the drawer at the end of the counter by the table. There’s only five hundred gajillion take out menus in there. Order a treat for yourself. It’s on me.”
“Jensen. I can get my own dinner.”
“True but you’re on call 24/7 until I get back.”
“Well in that case I bet you got a menu for a fancy steakhouse in here somewhere,” you teased as you picked up one for a tex mex looking restaurant. “Does this place really have quesadillas this big?”
“You must be looking at the menu on top. I almost ordered from there last week actually. The food’s great. They do delivery too. Just buzz the guy into the gate when they get there.”
“Any recommendations?” you asked, taking out the menu and flipping it over.
“Quesadillas are good. Loaded nachos are amazing. I’ve literally never had a bad thing from there,” he said. “To be honest I’d rather be getting that than where I’m going tonight.”
“Why’s that?” you asked, reading through your options, surprised to find such good prices.
“I have to wear a suit,” he said with a sigh. “After being poked and prodded all day I literally would rather just eat crap and watch food network.”
“How long have you known this friend of yours?” you asked.
“Twenty years, why?”
“Then you guys knew each other when you were young. It’s not too late out there. Call him, see if he’d rather get some crap food, a six pack and just catch up on his couch or in your room. I’m pretty sure he’s more looking forward to seeing an old friend again than the food,” you said.
“You make very good points. I should pay you more,” he said.
“You pay me plenty and barely let me spend a dime of my money on myself,” you said. “I don’t need more.”
“You got that fancy computer though.”
“You literally have the exact same mac in your office.”
“You moved in like three boxes and two computers,” he said.
“An ipad is not a computer,” you said.
“Debatable.”
“Well I like to draw sometimes and it’s easier on an ipad when you’re laying in bed,” you said. 
“Are you any good?” he asked.
“No.”
“I bet they’re really good,” he said as you rolled your eyes. “I see you draw with the kids sometimes and those are good.”
“It’s a hobby is all,” you said, leaning back against the counter, your stomach grumbling again. “Anything else you want me to grab at the store? I’m going to hit it tomorrow while everyone’s at school.”
“Nah. Get the usual stuff,” he said. “The kiddos in bed?”
“Yeah, got the last one down about fifteen minutes ago,” you said. He hummed and you heard the sigh in it. “I got a video of them playing earlier I’ll send you.”
“Thanks. It’s my first night away from them in a long time. Normally I’m able to come back same day. I was kinda hoping they’d still be awake to say goodnight.”
“They’re safe and sound dad. We’ll call again after school tomorrow to talk like today,” you said.
“Yeah,” he breathed out. He was quiet and you pulled the phone away, taking a deep breath. 
“You okay?” 
“I haven’t been alone like this in a really long time.”
“I know. You check out your backpack yet?”
“No. Why?”
“You didn’t bring a jacket with you so I put that yellow hoodie that’s always on the hook in there in case you got cold.”
“That was Dee’s hoodie.”
“I was pretty sure it was,” you said. You heard him shuffle around briefly before he hummed, much happier that time. “I thought you might like to have a piece of...something-”
“I really don’t pay you enough,” he said quietly. “Thanks for putting this in there. I need something from home more than I realized.”
“Well put it on, call up your buddy and have some fun tonight, Ackles. Nanny’s orders.” He laughed and you felt that twinge in your stomach again, your eyes quickly closing.
“I will. Hey you mind if I call again tomorrow night? I don’t have any plans and sitting in a hotel room by myself isn’t very fun.” You smiled and felt heat in your cheeks, quickly thinking it away. He wanted company for a few minutes was all and you were friends. It was completely normal to talk with friends on the phone everyday.
“Of course. As long as you get a dinner in at some point that’s more than fine with me,” you said. “We can talk about The Bachelor!”
“Oh God no,” he groaned, chuckling after a few seconds. “I’ll settle for Grey’s Anatomy.”
“This Is Us?” you asked.
“Supernatural?”
“I haven’t watched that yet. I’m working up to it,” you said. 
“Work faster woman. I only know legit everything about that one,” he chuckled. “But probably not a good idea to watch that one until I get back and you're not alone. First episode is kinda scary.”
“Oh well thanks for that,” you said, watching the clock tick by, knowing it had to be almost seven out there. “I’ll let you go. Have fun tonight Jensen.”
“I will Y/N. Promise.”
Friday Night
“Arrow,” you said after she’d flung her pasta bowl all over herself, covering her hair and face. She sniffled and you forced a smile. “Okay. How about a bath after dinner?”
Fifteen minutes later JJ and Zeppelin were in the movie room watching a cartoon while you had Arrow in the kids bathroom, scooping up some water over her head in the tub.
“Well hello ladies,” you heard behind you. You jumped and spun around, glaring for a moment before you recognized Jensen.
“Just me,” he said, backpack still on his shoulders. 
“Daddy I got ziti all over my head,” she said.
“You did?” he asked, dropping his bag and taking off his jacket, kneeling down next to you. You got the last bit of sauce off and squirted some shampoo in her hair, Jensen watching you with a smile. “How was your day?”
She told him all about breakfast and daycare, playing with a few toy boats with him while you rinsed out the soap. You did a bit of conditioner before getting it out as well and putting the spray nozzle back.
“I got the rest if you wanna get the dryer ready?” he asked you, reaching for the soap. You swapped spots with him, Jensen washing her up while she kept talking about her day. By the time he was all done you had the dryer out and plugged in, Jensen picking her up and wrapping her up in a big bundle of towels before he set her on the counter. You went to work drying her hair, Jensen draining the tub and finding some pajamas for her.
“Do you want your hair up or down, sweetie?” you asked. She tried gathering it up and you grabbed her soft scrunchie perfectly fine for sleeping in from the counter. You put her hair up in a soft little bun, Jensen making an adorable sound when he returned.
“Aw, you look so cute, baby. I’ll be right there alright?” he said. She hopped off the counter and got dressed, rushing off downstairs when she was all done. “Survive the day?”
“Somehow we always do,” you said, gathering up the towels. “Kids are in the movie room.”
“Thanks. I’m gonna shower but we’re all good for the night,” he said. “Thanks for watching them this week.”
“You gotta go do your job,” you said. “You working on a movie or something? You never said.”
“Uh gonna be in a show called The Boys,” he said. “I’m gonna be one of the superheroes so I gotta go out and get my suit made all special for me every so often.”
“You’re gonna be a supe! That’s so fucking cool!” you said. He grinned and you blushed, shaking your head. “I’m so sorry. That was so not appropriate.”
“I don’t see any little ears around,” he chuckled. “You like the show then?”
“Yeah. It’s great. Like no other show consistently makes me go what the fuck did I just see. That’s so cool you get to be a supe though. Are you a one off or like a main character?”
“I’ll be very present in the next season. Gonna deal with the seven, all that,” he said. “I’m gonna be Solider Boy.”
“I can see that. You have that all American boy thing about you.”
“It’s my adorable face,” he teased. 
“Well remember to not stay up too late. You have the gala tomorrow night remember?”
“Yes mom,” he said as you walked out. “Get the kids some takeout for dinner tomorrow and yourself.”
“Sounds good boss,” you said. “Night Jensen.”
“Goodnight, Y/N.”
The Next Night
You froze from where you were mixing up some brownie batter with JJ at the kitchen counter as Jensen popped downstairs. He was in a gorgeous black suit, a maroon pocket square and no tie going on, his hair scruffier looking than normal.
He started to laugh and you realized you were staring, your cheeks feeling hot as you went back to stirring.
“Mmm, you guys save me a brownie or two for when I get home?” he asked, leaning over and dipping his finger in the bowl of cream cheese frosting.
“We’ll spare one for dad,” you said, Jensen going back for seconds. “Ah, ah. No.”
He dipped his finger in and got another fingerful, kissing the top of JJ’s head and the twins at the counter.
“Be good for Y/N guys!” he called as he rushed out.
You whistled and he jogged back, catching you holding up his phone from the counter.
“Thank you,” he said, taking it and pecking a kiss on your cheek. You looked up at him and he froze. “I am so sorry. I…”
“It’s okay. Go have fun and be all charitable,” you said. He shoved his phone in his pocket and ran out, JJ scratching her head.
“Dad’s kinda weird sometimes,” she said.
“Yeah, he is. But so is everybody,” you said. “Let’s get this in the oven so you guys can pick out colors for your frosting, hm?”
“I really shouldn’t. But I really should,” you said to yourself, plopping your second brownie of the night in a bowl and sticking a scoop of ice cream on top. You carried it over to the couch and lay back, watching TV on the big screen as you heard the door open. Jensen came into view a minute later, taking his jacket off and groaning as he washed up at the sink. He went to the tray of brownies on the counter and picked one up with a big sigh. “Fun night?”
He jumped and whacked his head against the cabinet above, hissing before he spun around.
“You okay?” you asked. He nodded and left the brownie behind, pushing his sleeves up before taking a seat on the other end of the lounger.
“Y/N I’m really sorry about the kiss on the cheek. That was so inappropriate. You’ve kinda implied that there was some stuff that’s happened to you at other jobs you found over the line and I’m really truly sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I wasn’t...I forgot you’re my employee for a moment. I really am sorry.”
“Jensen if I had a problem with it or you or your behavior I would quit on the spot. I don’t let myself get pushed around anymore. You were happy and busy and you pecked a kiss on my cheek, not reach a hand down my pants. It’s really okay. You’re way too hard on yourself.”
“Are you sure?” he asked.
“Positive. It’s barely ten which means you left as soon as you could. You’re supposed to be out having fun,” you said.
“I was kinda freaking out that you hated me,” he said.
“Dude you gotta relax,” you said. “Have a brownie and some ice cream.”
He got up and after a minute took a seat at the other end with a bowl of his own, smiling as he got a taste.
“This is fucking awesome,” he said.
“I know,” you said, Jensen smirking. “Do you feel better now silly boy? I promise that if you ever do anything I find inappropriate I will promptly kick you in the balls.”
“I can agree to that,” he said. He ate for a moment, watching the TV and laying back. “Do you ever like, want to go do things with your friends on a Saturday night? If you do that’s totally cool. These aren’t normal hours anyways.”
“Being a nanny eats up a lot of your social life,” you said. “Kinda got kicked out of my friend group after I broke up with my ex anyways.”
“Well they sound like they suck,” he said.
“Yes, they do,” you said. “I don’t mind so much. I meet plenty of new people through work. Only person you can depend on is yourself and I don’t tend to let myself down.”
“That’s a very lonely way to go through life,” he said.
“It’s not easy to make friends in your thirties,” you said. “Maybe for someone like you who travels and meets new people a lot and stuff but you have like, real friendships. You know?”
“Well we have a real friendship, don’t we? You’re friends with Jared and Rob and Ruthie and Rich,” he said. “I don’t trust just anybody with my kids. That’s real.”
“Yeah,” you said, taking a bite. “So when’s your friend free?”
“Hm?”
“Blind date guy. Maybe he could be a friend if things work out,” you said.
“Oh yeah. He uh, he actually got a gig up in Canada so you might need to wait like a month or so. But he’s excited to meet you,” said Jensen.
“Can I have his number?” you asked. “Or do you think that’d be weird?”
“No, not weird. I think he just kinda wants to do it old school if that’s okay. Meet you first and go from there.”
“This friend of yours better be like super hot,” you said.
“If it’s a problem-“
“I can respect him wanting to do things like that. But I’m gonna want a firm date soon,” you said.
“I’ll make sure to get you one,” he said. “I’ll get it down tomorrow, promise.”
“He better not mind me eating like this either. I ain’t a salad on the first date kinda girl. He’s gonna need to keep up with my eating while were at it,” you said. He snorted in his seat beside you and ran his hand over his face.
“I will keep that in mind. I have occasionally had dessert first truth be told,” he said.
“This is why I like you Ackles. You get my sweet tooth,” you laughed.
“It’s a good thing your dinners are healthy cause I swear I haven’t consumed this many baked goods in months,” he said. “The kids love it and my stomach loves it though.”
“I’m gonna need to start working out though if I keep this up. Oh hey is it okay if I do laps in the pool in the mornings? I’ll be super quiet and stuff.”
“You don’t gotta ask,” he smiled. “Like I said when you started, you got free reign to use the pool, the gym, whatever, aside from my room. You a swimmer?”
“Not really but I hate running and supposedly it’s a good workout or something,” you shrugged, eating another bite of brownie.
“Anything in the gym you’re free to use. I know you must get a little bored sometimes when I’m gone and the kids are,” he said.
“Not bored per say. Ordinarily I would do more chores but you have like a cleaner and a landscaper and you just...give me more time in the day than I’m used to is all. It’s actually great though. It gives me plenty of time to come up with ideas for the kids and stuff.”
“Well as long as you’re taking breaks and your lunch do as you please,” he said, his spoon scraping the bottom of his bowl.
“Now that’s just sad.”
“I really should get another one of these,” he said, sucking the spoon.
“It’s really the only choice you have,” you said. He laughed as he hopped up, skirting back into the kitchen and fixing up another brownie and ice cream combo.
“Hey you want more, Dee?” he asked. You popped your head up and he spun around. “I’m-“
“Don't apologize, Jensen,” you said. He tapped his fingers against the counter and took a deep breath, putting his back to you.
“That’s the second time tonight I’ve done that,” he said. 
“Jensen. There’s nothing wrong with missing your wife.”
“I’m still sorry.”
“You don’t...talk about her much.”
“It was...she wasn’t…” he trailed off. He sat down on a barstool and you got up, walking over and hopping up on the counter beside him. You set your feet in the stool next to his and paused before you put a hand on top of his head and ran your fingers through the short strands. “This shouldn’t have happened to her.”
“Death is the price for living. Pain’s the price for caring. Doesn’t mean it’s not worth it,” you said. You started to move your hand away when he turned his head. 
“Don’t…” he said, easing when you played with it gently again. “That’s always calmed me down since I was a little kid.”
“Someone should take care of you every once in a while you know. Your parents, siblings, friends. Everyone needs a break.”
“I had a lot of help at the beginning. I don’t need a whole day. Just a moment here and there,” he said quietly.
“It’ll be okay, Jensen,” you said. He nodded and you played with his hair a few moments, watching his shoulders ease. This time when you pulled away he smiled up at you. “Better?”
“Yeah. Thank you. That’s not in your job description to do that sort of thing.”
“Well I think your wife would want somebody to watch your back, even for only a minute or two,” you said.
“You don’t have any brain aneurysms I should know about, do you?” he chuckled. 
“No. That what happened?” you asked, a single nod coming from him.
“She was sleeping. Not a bad way to go I was told, you’d never even know,” he said. “Not a fun thing to wake up to in the morning though.”
“My dad had a mass at the back of his head. It was that same kind of thing where one second it’s fine and the next everything’s different deal. It was inoperable. Then he goes and dies from a car accident of all things before it got bad. My mom had a hard time with that.”
“You said she had a boyfriend later on right?” he asked.
“Yeah. I know you’ll be okay, Jensen,” you said. You ruffled his hair and he smiled, a soft look on his face. “Pro tip too from someone who’s been there, kids with a single parent turn out just fine.”
“Do they ever wish they had another parent?” he asked.
“They wish the parent they still have around is happy again someday. They won’t understand until they’re older that it’s a different kind of love between parents. But they’ll know it’s a little different and they’ll hope dad feels better too. Your kids are tough. They’ll be okay too.”
“Thanks, Y/N,” he said. You hopped off the counter and washed up your dish, sticking it in the dishwasher before you went to leave for your room. “So I gotta ask. Who takes care of you?”
“Me?” you asked, pointing to yourself. He shrugged and smiled, your gaze going past him. “I’m all good. I don’t need somebody to take care of me.”
“Liar,” he said softly. “You know my friend tells me everybody needs to be taken care of sometimes.”
“That’s the difference between us Jensen. You’re not like me.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” he scoffed, his face scrunching up suddenly.
“It means you’re not on your own and even if you feel like it, it’s only been a little while. You’ll be okay. I’ve been taking care of myself since I was a kid. I don’t need anyone to take care of me.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it.”
“You haven’t lived my life and I haven’t lived yours. Don’t try to tell me that I’m not capable of-”
“It’s not about what you’re capable of. You said pain is part of life, it’s the price for living. You’ve had more than your fair share-”
“Lots of people have it a lot worse.”
“Don’t compare your pain to someone else's. They haven’t lived your life,” he said. You rolled your eyes and started to walk away, Jensen out of his seat and catching up with you in the hall. “You can be taken care of too you know.”
“By who? My non-existent circle of friends? My crappy ex? My mom’s ex boyfriend who’s got his own wife and kids? I am perfectly fine managing all of this by myself. I’ve been doing it for years.”
“You’re so frustratingly annoying,” he said, running his hand over his face. “Me. I’m talking about me. You just...you took care of me tonight. The least I can do is show you the same compassion.”
“No,” you said.
“No? Why not?”
“Because taking care of me turns into you walking into my shower without my permission and you being a dick and this going away and I don’t want you to be those things so no. We’re getting too friendly. Please leave me alone tomorrow.”
You left him in the hall and went down to your area of the house, shutting the door after you. There was quickly a knock and you growled, ripping it open.
“What?” you snapped at him.
“I am not going to hurt you or be a dick to you or whatever else you think. You need to realize in the real world, not everyone is an asshole.”
“You’re the one not living in the real world then, Jensen. Everybody’s an asshole.”
“Fine. I’m an asshole. But I’m not leaving until you say I can take care of you tomorrow. Two minutes is all I’m asking for.”
“This is my part of the house.”
“And technically I am outside your door,” he said. “Why are you so resistant to somebody doing something nice for you?”
“Because I don’t wanna get used to it,” you said. He stared and you shook your head. “You’re attractive and an actor and kind and funny and it’s not a matter of if you date again but when and when that day comes, we ain’t gonna be sitting on the couch eating ice cream anymore. Please do not invite me to anymore outings as a friend. I’ll attend if required as a nanny but this between us is done.”
“For the record, the only one around here that thinks of you as just the hired help is you. My children are completely like their old selves. I feel more like my old self. You seem happier than when I met you but for some reason, that’s a big problem to you. I do not understand that.”
“Leave or I resign and move out first thing,” you said. He crossed his arms and lifted his chin. “This is my formal resignation then. The company will-”
He moved quickly and you weren’t sure what he was doing at first but soon you realized he was hugging you, your hands resting against his chest. You swallowed and he didn’t move, your forehead resting against him.
“What are you doing?” you breathed out.
“When’s the last time you got a fucking hug?” he asked.
“The kids-”
“Not the kids.”
“I don’t remember,” you said quietly. 
“Then you are overdue,” he said. You let yourself reach your arms around him and return the hug, breathing deeply, a small bubble in you rising up. You tried to push it down but it came back harder and you were fighting back tears before you knew it. 
He could feel when you lost that battle, hand rubbing up and down your back. There was a soft shushing in the air and after a few minutes you felt better. You lifted your head but didn’t look at him, Jensen squeezing you in his hug again before it eased.
“You know you’re not allowed to quit on me...like ever,” he chuckled. You let out a small laugh, Jensen smiling at you when you forced your head up. He wiped off your cheeks and you let out one last sniffle. “You’re not alone. I promise you’re not. It’s not the quantity of people you have in your life but the quality and I’m sorry but we are friends and there’s nothing you can do about that so I’d just accept it now.”
“I’m sorry I was such a bitch.”
“You were scared, not a bitch,” he said. “I wish I could make you happier is all.”
“I wish I could bring back your wife for you,” you said.
“One of those is a lot more possible than the other,” he said. A small smile crossed his lips before he ducked his head down, shoulders heaving back before his head raised. “Y/N, can I confess something to you? I hope...I hope it doesn’t bother you but if it does, you don’t have to continue working for me. I’d still like to be friends regardless.”
“What’s wrong?” you asked, Jensen looking past you.
“My single friend I was going to set you up with? He doesn’t exist.”
“Oh.”
“Cause he’s kinda me.”
“Oh,” you said, staring at him, a lot of his previous behavior starting to click into place. “That’s…”
“I know,” he said, stepping away and rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s weird and douchey and I’m sorry. I like you and I was trying to see if you would ever go for a 42 year old actor. I left out the widow and kids part but...I’m sorry.”
“When did you like me?” you asked quietly.
“The whole time?” he said, laughing nervously to himself. “It’s kinda snowballed since we met. I never in my life thought I’d like someone again. I didn’t want to like you. I hired you because you were the best candidate and I knew the kids would be in good hands but everyday it’s there, even more, and I know this is so inappropriate on so many levels and I’m really starting to ramble here but you make me think maybe your mom had a point and people are allowed to have...more than one…and sometimes the way you talk to me and treat me and look at me...” 
He swallowed as you stepped in front of him, taking a quick breath. 
“I will keep working for you and I’ll be your friend...and you can make me dinner tomorrow,” you said with a smile. “We’ll see where it goes from there?”
“You’re not...weirded out?” he asked.
“By your age, you’re my boss or the cheeky lying about a fake friend?” you said.
“All of the above.”
“Age doesn’t bother me. You have no idea how to be a boss, no offense, and the friend...I don’t blame you for wanting to test the waters first,” you said. “But I expect honesty from here on out.”
“Absolutely,” he said.
“Good,” you said.
“You do like me right?” he asked. “Like you don’t feel obligated or-”
“I like you Jensen. Why do you think I was trying to push you away before you got too close? I didn’t want to be hurt.”
“Give me a chance to not,” he said. “We can have dinner and see how it goes from there.”
“Normally the best course of action,” you said.
“But maybe with a few more hugs from now on,” he said. “For the both of us.”
“That’d be okay with me,” you said. He smiled and you returned it. “I guess I’ll see you in the morning then.”
“I guess you will,” he said. He turned to go when he spun back on his heels. “Or we could go back out there, eat way too much dessert and hang out?”
“Yeah,” you said with a smile. “Give me a minute to wash up my face.”
“Take all the time you want. I’m gonna change into something more comfortable anyways.”
He left and you washed off your face in the bathroom, drying it off and taking a deep breath.
You did like him. There was something calming about him to you and you enjoyed his company, even if it was just the two of you having a quiet cup of coffee in the morning.
But he was an actor. And kinda famous. And a widow. And had three kids. 
“But your face is cute,” you said aloud, looking the mirror. “Gah, of course you have to be like...into me. Nutjob. He must be a nutjob. That’s it.”
“Y/N?” you heard him saying and you smacked yourself in the face. “Are you talking to yourself?”
“Uh, yeah,” you said, stepping out and seeing him in the hall sporting a pair of pajama pants and a t shirt. “That was fast.”
“Well I didn’t go through an eight step skin routine too,” he chuckled.
“For your information, my routine is only three steps,” you said, walking past him and waggling your fingers.
“I didn’t realize I was living with such a savage,” he said. You laughed and went back to the kitchen, making up another dish of brownie for him while he went over to where he kept his liquor. “You a bourbon kind of girl?”
“Is there any other kind?” you said.
“Touche.” He poured out two glasses and slid one over while you passed his bowl to him. “So what’s this three step routine? Do I need to up my game or what?”
“I think I need your routine, not the other way around,” you said.
“Nah. I like looking at your face more than mine. Trust me.”
“Oh. How long you been holding back those kinds of comments?” you teased.
“Longer than you’d think,” he said, sharing the bowl with you. “Feel okay now?”
“Yeah. I can’t remember the last time I cried,” you said. “Especially in front of someone.”
“A good cry session has never hurt in my experience. I’ll do it for work and stuff but normally I’m not much of one. Aside from the past six months I mean.”
“Are you ready to try this?” you asked.
“Yeah. I know I am,” he said. “I’m positive of it.”
“How can you know that?”
“Because you make me happy. You make me...want to do stuff again, believe in all the romantic...if I wasn’t ready, I’d feel guilty. But I don’t. I just know that maybe some people get more than one chance and maybe I’m one of them.”
“I know you are, whoever it ends up being,” you said.
“Are you ready to try this?”
You took a drink and bite of ice cream, pushing the bowl back.
“I miss my family,” you said. “I miss being happy. I’d like to...have someone that could take care of me for a moment every once in a while. I might mess that up sometimes but I’m willing to try.”
“Me too,” he said. “I’d expect some screw ups on this end too. I’ve been out of the dating game for a long time.”
“I’m sure it hasn’t changed all that much,” you said.
“Well I’ve never dated with kids and as a widow,” he said.
“I’m just in this for them to be honest,” you laughed. 
“I see how it is,” he said with a smirk. 
“I don’t think it’ll be as hard as you think,” you said.
“I hope not,” he said. 
“Do they know? You want to date?”
“JJ does,” he said. “She’s little but she understands that it doesn’t mean I’ll never love her mother any less. She’s been strangely okay through this whole thing aside from the first few weeks. She helps her brother and sister out more now.”
“As someone who was that kid, minus the siblings, I know they’ll be okay. She’s a great kid. I’ve met plenty of spoiled brats. Yours are not.”
“Well that might just be the second best thing I’ve heard tonight,” he said.
“Whatever was the first?” you teased, eating a spoon of ice cream.
“Oh I think you know,” he said, stealing the spoon back. You smiled and heard some feet run around upstairs before the stairs creeped and a little head ducked down into view. “Arrow. It’s bedtime sweetie.”
“I had a accident,” she said. “Sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry for, honey,” he said. “I’ll be right back.”
“Want help?” you asked.
“Sure,” he said. He scooped up Arrow on the way up the stairs, setting her down in the kids bathroom. He got some clean pajamas and you found a pair of pull ups, Arrow pouting at you. 
“I don’t need ‘em,” she said.
“Your brother wears them. I wore them and your mommy and daddy wore them. Everybody wears pull ups when they’re your age,” you said.
“Just tonight,” she said, stepping into them. Jensen walked past with the mattress liner and she was dressed by the time you heard the washer going off in the distance. You walked her back to bed, Jensen slipping in past you and tucking her in. “Night daddy.”
“Night sweetie,” he said, kissing her temple. 
“Night Y/N,” she said.
“Night night kiddo,” you said, giving her a tiny wave before you left, Jensen flipping off her light and pulling the door shut. 
“Come here a second,” he said, nodding and you saw him head towards his room. The double doors were open and you stepped inside, Jensen going past the bed and over to a set of french doors. He pushed one open and waved for you to follow, showing you out to a rooftop balcony.
“Wow,” you said, a set of chairs, a table and a lounger out there along with a whole lot soft string lights. “I didn’t realize you had this up here.”
“Kinda a place to go unwind, relax,” he said. “I disappear out here sometimes. Been out here a lot at night lately.”
“Thinking about what?” you asked.
“You,” he said. “I talk to Dee about you sometimes as crazy as that sounds.”
“Doesn’t sound crazy at all,” you said.
“I just wanted to say...this area isn’t off limits anymore. Nothing is,” he said. 
“She asked you out, didn’t she,” you said with a smile. He rubbed the back of his neck and blushed. “You’re cute.”
You leaned up and kissed his cheek, heading back towards inside.
“Come on, Jensen. Before the ice cream melts on us.”
_______
A/N: Read Part 4 here!
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Pairing: Kanan Jarrus/Hera Syndulla
Word count: no idea
A/N: This is my first fanfiction that I’m posting out in the world! This takes place an hour or two after the end of Star Wars Rebels Season 2 Episode 7: Wings of the Master. I found a fanart when surfing the internet for Kanera content (as one does) a few months ago and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since! I don’t know whose work the art is but I’ll paste it on here! If anyone knows who it’s by, please let me know :) the art isn’t mine, but all of the writing is! Obviously, Kanan isn’t blind yet in this fic like he is in the fanart. I hope anyone who reads this likes it!! I’m hoping to post more fanfiction in the future—I have three others in the works already! I’m open to any and all feedback!
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Hera rubs her temple as she steps out of the promotion briefing. Her head buzzes with new intel, and plans zip through her mind like starships. She is honored and ecstatic about her promotion to Phoenix Leader. At the same time, though, she can already feel the new responsibility settling onto her shoulders, all of the lives that will soon be placed under her supervision weighing on her. Hera can and will take on all of the privileges and authority her new position grants her, and she fully intends to own it, too. Still, her heart is heavy.
Truthfully, she’s still struggling with the losses they suffered on the first attempt to deliver supplies to Ibaar. Hera had been so determined to complete that mission, to find the right ship to make it possible, that the grief and sensation of failure hadn’t caught up with her. She had made sure of that. There wasn’t time to be crippled by guilt and loss when there was a mission to complete. Now that the mission was over, however, she can feel the effects of the losses setting in.
Thoughts swirl through her mind as she continues to head down the hallway towards the bay where the Ghost is docked.
If I had just let us turn back—if I hadn’t told everyone to keep going—maybe Phoenix Leader and the people on the transport would have survived.
She’d made the wrong call. Hera can still hear the panic-filled voice crying out, “Captain Syndulla!” as the transport—and the people inside—were blasted into a thousand pieces. She’d let her determination blind her, and lives had been lost because of it.
Guilt pours into her, paralyzing her. She stops walking in the middle of the empty hallway and steps into a nearby alcove to process it all. If I make a mistake like that again, the consequences will be worse now that I have more responsibility. What if I let everyone down?
Her churning vortex of thoughts and feelings is interrupted by a pair of strong, green-clad arms embracing her from behind, and a deep, warm voice comes from above her. “How’s it going, Captain?”
Pleasure surges through her lekku. His timing is perfect.
The pleasant surprise washes all of the guilt, fear, and sadness away, at least for now. Hera lets out a little “hey” of protest as Kanan Jarrus pulls her nearly off her feet, but an irrepressible smile spreads over her face. She closes her eyes and turns her face towards his, relishing the warmth emanating from him and the way his presence soothes her. Hera places her hands on the arms that envelop her, returning the embrace through a gentle squeeze.
“Better now, love,” she tells him. He releases her slightly so that her feet are fully on the ground and places his chin on her shoulder, still holding her close.
“And you usually hate PDAs.”
“If I’m not mistaken, there’s no one in this hallway.”
“What would you have done if there were?”
Hera is silent for a moment, eyes still closed. “Nothing differently.”
She can feel him grin. “Great,” he replies. “Because there’s someone walking by now.”
Hera’s eyes fly open and search the hallway—which is still empty. She elbows him. “Kanan!”
A deep laugh vibrates out of his chest. She rolls her eyes, but allows herself to settle back into his embrace.
“Really, though,” Kanan says gently, all traces of mirth disappearing. The care in his voice sends another ripple of affection through her lekku. “How are you? I could tell you needed this.”
“And you were right,” Hera admits as he guides them down onto the alcove’s bench, arms still entwined around her. Normally, she’d break away now to explain what she was feeling, the thought of fellow rebels walking by and being made uncomfortable by their display of affection present in her mind. This time, however, she isn’t ready to move away from him. Besides, this isn’t a heavily trafficked hallway anyway. She does move to the side rather than sitting on his lap, though, her shoulder overlapping his. “It’s those people we lost the first time we went to Ibaar to deliver the supplies,” she begins, her voice heavy with returning guilt. “They died because of me.”
Kanan lifts his head from her shoulder, his aquamarine eyes staring seriously into hers. “Hera, no.”
“They told me they were taking heavy fire,” she continues, her voice growing more and more agitated. “They lost their forward deflectors, and I still told them to keep going. I should’ve told them to turn back.” A sound of frustration escapes her throat. “Why am I so stubborn? Why are they putting more people under my leadership after my decision led to several deaths?”
“Hera,” Kanan’s voice cuts through her hysteria, rich and deep and sure. “Everyone here knows that any mission could be their last.”
“I know that,” she responds, voice still thrumming with anguish. “But that doesn’t mean lives should be thrown away just because of one person’s inability to retreat!” She breaks her gaze from his, shaking her head and staring down at the floor. “I don’t deserve that promotion.”
Kanan gently lifts her head so that her eyes meet his again. “No one trusting someone with authority expects them to be perfect,” Kanan reminds her. “Everyone here has made a wrong call, has failed to complete a mission—which you didn’t, by the way—but that doesn’t mean they’re a failure. You weren’t treating anyone like they were expendable—your optimism led you not to give up. You were determined to get those supplies to those in need and refused to give up hope.” Tones similar to those he uses when teaching Ezra a lesson color his voice, though with considerably less frustration. “The only way to rise above your mistakes is to accept the lessons they teach and apply them in the future. Letting your mistakes destroy your faith in yourself isn’t going to help anyone.”
Hera listens intently, his sincerity like a bacta patch on a wound.
“Sato could hear all of the comms between you and Phoenix Squadron, and he didn’t demote you or chastise you. Clearly, he doesn’t blame you for the lives that were lost.” Kanan squeezes her tighter reassuringly. “No one does.”
His voice becomes harder, more insistent. “And of course you deserve the promotion.” He sounds offended at the thought of anyone suggesting otherwise. “You didn’t volunteer to leave the mission—you were committed to seeing it through. But when I volunteered you for the mission to Shantipole, you dove in—literally—and headed straight into a world that no ship is supposed to be able to escape from—but you did. You’d only flown that B-wing once before joining the battle, but you flew it like it was built for you. You’re the reason those supplies did get to those people. When I recommended your promotion, Sato didn’t waste a second before agreeing with me.”
Kanan’s words replace her guilt and grief with a swelling of gratitude and comfort. Hera won’t forget those who had died today. She’ll be more careful to see when a situation requires a retreat, but she won’t let her confidence in herself die. “Thank you, Kanan,” she tells him, her heart full. He places his forehead against hers, and they share a rare moment of contentment and peace, enjoying each other’s presence.
Hera reluctantly breaks the silence after a minute or so, lifting her forehead from his.“We should probably get back home,” she tells the Jedi. “I liked that B-wing, but that doesn’t mean I’m letting the kids wreck the Ghost.” Kanan’s flash of disappointment is so endearing. She lifts his chin reassuringly.
“It’ll be all right, fearless leader.”
Kanan unravels his arms from around her, replying indignantly, “Hey, no, you’re officially the leader now.” They’d had the argument many times, each insisting that the other is the leader of their crew. Hera always tells him that “captain of the ship” and “leader” are two different things.
Now she rolls her eyes, smiling, but doesn’t correct him this time.
“I guess it’s about time we get back, anyway,” Kanan continues before she changes her mind and decides to refute him. “How long has it been since you’ve eaten something?”
Hera’s brows knit as she attempts to remember. “Yeah, too long,” Kanan’s suspicions seem to have been confirmed. “Come on.” He takes her hand and pulls her up, out of the alcove, and into the hallway. They share a comfortable silence all the way back to the Ghost, which Hera now realizes Kanan must have left to come find her. Even more affection for him to rises in her at the realization.
When the cockpit opens, the two release each others’ hands and are greeted by a rush of cheers and pumping fists. Even Chopper waves his grasping arms and spins around in celebration.
“Go Hera!” Ezra yells.
“About time you got promoted,” Zeb grins.
“Congratulations, Hera,” Sabine tells her earnestly.
“Mom got promoted! Mom got promoted!” Chopper chants triumphantly.
Hera chuckles, heart overflowing with fondness for her crew. “All right, all right,” she tells them. “You’re going to make the rest of the ship think that something’s wrong.”
“Who cares?” Ezra says as he pulls everyone into a group hug. “Hera cares,” Kanan replies, but he puts one arm around her and another around Sabine. The hug is a little awkward, with Zeb being so much taller than Ezra and Sabine and Chopper standing in the middle of the circle, but in that moment, the crew feels truly united.
“Okay, I can’t stand Zeb’s smell anymore,” Ezra quips, stepping out of the circle. Chopper rolls over and smacks him with a grasping arm.
“Ow! You always do that!” The blue-haired boy zips into the cargo hold, trying to get away from Chopper, who continues whacking him as he pursues.
The rest of the family shares exasperated smiles.
Kanan nudges Hera forward, dropping his arms from hers and Sabine’s shoulders.
“Lead the way, Captain Hera,” he tells her, that crooked smile of his setting the inside of Hera aglow. ���We’re all behind you.”
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burnedbyshoto · 4 years
Text
caught
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— You’re caught in a web after flying a little bit too recklessly and along comes your one and only savior who requests a little help from you too as the price of freeing you.
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pairing: naga!kirishima eijirou x fem fairy!reader
warnings: fairy!reader, naga!kirishima, smut, 18+, coercion, dubcon, hypnotism, oviposition, double penetration, begging, heat/rut, size diff
word count: 4,004
a/n: BAHAHA I wrote this in like 3 hours because I decided to instead watch some soul eater last night & I like it so far! ah, well, ive never actually read naga fics before, or oviposition,,, so fair warning, enjoy! also, read the damn warnings.
kinktober day 7 main kink: size difference
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The world was a magical one. 
The planet was crawling with mythological creatures steaming from the smallest of pixies to the largest Kraken. The world was full of mystery, wonder, and adventure. Fire breathing dragons and cursed powerful swords were hidden away from the few humans and elves to discover. As in any civilization, there were those who got along and those who didn’t.
Some species of creatures got along with everyone, there were others that were feared beyond reason, and a few that were loved for moments and feared for others. 
You were a fairy.
And you were tiny.
Standing no more than three apples high, you had iridescent wings that curled and shone in the glimmering light whenever you so much as moved. You were a good fairy, you always have been. You were often found assisting with a multitude of mythical creatures and humans on quests and as companions. Despite your small stature, you were fast, zipping, and gliding faster than most could ever dare to catch up with.
You loved your wings, loved flying, loved having the wind whistling through your ears while you dove between branches and branches, laughing while your pixie friends failed to keep up with you. Your mother had always fluttered her wings in annoyance and partial anger when you were younger and would often outspeed her, leaving her screaming your name while she desperately tried to keep up.
What could you say? You were a daring fairy, an adventurous one at that too.
But she always warned you, even back then, of the dangers of being a small, tiny, pretty fairy who flew at speeds much faster than you should be capable of.
The wind whipped against your face, stinging at your nose, chapping your lips, and whooshing through your ears as you grew faster and faster. The traces of magic falling from your wings creating a beautiful, sparkling trail behind you as you whooped out in excitement and thrill. 
“Slow down, y/n!” your friends screamed from what sounded like many trees behind you, and like the daring showoff you were, you cork spiraled around a set of hanging branches with a loud laugh.
But as you straightened out, ready to move onward, you realized that something, thick, heavy, and sticky had caught onto the tip of your wing, and you catapulted backward. 
A spider’s web.
Even in a world of fantasy and mystery, spiders existed to catch flying pests, and to some, you were just that.
Panic consumed you, white fire coursing through every magical vein in your body as you thrashed and shook in the webs. Your hands grabbed onto the sticky strands around your wings, a desperate attempt to free yourself only to find yourself even more tightly wound up in the damp, near-transparent threads. 
A pathetic whimper left your mouth, your head dropping to your chest as silent, hot tears streamed down your cheeks. Your wings fluttered weakly, looking nothing too far from the insects and flies you were so used to seeing caught up in these webs. You strained your ears, trying to listen to the few pixies you had been flying and playing with, but even with your immense speed advantageous over them, you knew that they should be near.
But nothing.
You sat there on the web for minutes that seemed to bleed into hours, silently waiting for your friends to come and save you… but it seemed for naught.
“Help…”
“Help…”
“Please help…”
You had been trapped for hours.
Each passing second both dooming you to a life as spider food for the Arachne that had still yet to return home. Or maybe possibly a snack for any large creature that may pass, or an undeserving elf or human plucking you free and demanding to use their powers on a quest you would never approve of. That, or maybe you’d die of hunger.
There was no stopping the growl in your stomach or the parched dryness of your throat for your desperate, pathetic cry of help.
But it seemed that when your friends not-your-friends anymore said this part of the forest was for the most part void of all pixie and fairy eating creatures, it seemed that it was just void of all creatures. Pouting, you felt another rush of frustrating tears well up in your eyes, your cheeks huffing and face steaming as soft chimes of bells erupted from you while you seemingly threw a temper tantrum, not one-second closer from freedom.
Your breathing turned sharper, heavier, and overall shallow. In a flash of fury, you thrummed your wings as fast as you could, trying your best to fly out of this entrapment. To your slight excitement, you managed to loosen the webs around your wings for just a moment, your smile bursting oh so prematurely onto your face before it all went wrong again. As if the web was alive as well, it seemed to suddenly stiffen and drag you back into its sticky confines only for you to be even more trapped onto the mass web.
Like a broken dam, the tears streaming down your face were stinging, plentiful, and unable to stop.
You mourned the end of your life like this, so pathetic, so absolutely stupid way to go: caught on a spiderweb.
“Now, now, little one, why are you crying?” came a voice so soft yet incredibly loud voice, and you stiffened straight despite having a potential savior. 
You couldn’t see them, and with how the web was wrapped around you, you couldn’t even dare to turn your head around to stare at them. You couldn’t look at him, sure, but you knew just through the tenor and low thunder of his voice that your potential savior or wolf in sheep’s clothing was undoubtedly a robust, powerful mythological creature. 
Despite the way his voice seemed to whisper in your ears, you heard the familiar noise of someone moving through the grounds of the forest. The fallen dead leaves that scattered on the floor crackling with his movement. You trembled although you didn’t make a noise, not even a small bell chime of your wings. 
“Are you in need of assistance, little one?” he continued to ponder as if blind to the was you oh so very not discreetly clammed up at the sudden sound of his voice. “If you so require it, I would be more than willing to assist you in your freedom. It pains me to see such a beautiful, full of potential little fairy go to waste.”
The tongue in your mouth felt pathetically dry, your chest rising and collapsing at incredible speeds for someone of your composition of size.
“Oh, are you fearful of me, little one?” he seemed to laugh, finding your fear to be humorous, comical, really. “Most individuals at least wait until they peer into my eyes to find themselves unwilling to move or speak.”
The web shook with the vibrations of his voice. And you whined at the back of your throat as that small fact merely confirmed the size of the male creature standing behind you. You found yourself fearful of that playful tone on his voice, but you also knew that as a tiny fairy, you were quite foolish in fear when found in predicaments such as this one. You had to trust the creature behind you should you wish to escape.
“W-Would you mind freeing me?” you asked, making an attempt to sound powerful and in control despite the tremor on your lower lip and the way your voice was near childish in comparison to his own. How you actually thought fairies sounded on the same pitch as to many creatures before was beyond you, for at the moment, you deemed yourself to be no greater than a child speaking to an old man. “I was trapped while racing, and well, these frisky spiderwebs are quite the worst at capturing things that don’t deserve to be captured.”
Oh? Is that so?” his voice chuckled. His body, without a doubt, moments from yours if the way the gentle breath of his laugh brushed against your neck had anything to say about it. “I’ve always been told that they’re especially good at capturing pests.”
You flustered. 
“Yet here we are!” you pathetically countered, your wings fluttering in your distress. “If you wouldn’t mind freeing me, I would greatly appreciate it!”
“But, of course,” he spoke with great pride, and you shuddered when warm, large finger seemed to easily scoop you out from the webs. Your wings fluttered when the tight restraints of the traps were done, but not entirely freed from your beautiful wings. “Relax your wings, little one, I know you’re antsy to move, but there are still a great number of leftover webs on those wings of yours. Relax, I promise you no harm as I take these webs off.”
You shivered as his warm, strong fingers worked the plenty of sticky strands of webs off of you as if they were nothing but flyaway thread used for clothing. Speaking of clothing, you peered down at the daisy and red dandelion seed dress you wore, your eyes wide with the hope that it hadn’t been ruined. You loved this outfit. But as you peered down at your cotton shoes, you froze when you finally took in the hand you were resting upon. 
It was huge.
Without a doubt, his palm was the size of your entire body, the fingers long and thick with intimidating claws that demanded a bit of concern.
“There, all done,” he hummed, and you shook your wings, looking at the thing iridescent wings that made you a fairy, and you felt him turn his hand around where you rested. Your eyes, already wide with the looming dread in your stomach, seemed to become saucers the size of the moon when you came face to face with a naga.
Nagas, half-snake half-human, were a few creatures in this world that were both loved and hated by others — your kind included.
His scales were black, glinting red under the setting copper sun, and he was absolutely massive. You had seen nagas only a handful of times, three to be honest, but each other those times, you knew that they were hardly more massive than humans. But this male naga before you was enormous as he was solid. Rippling muscles on every exposed part of his human body and his snake bottom were large, thick, full of rippling coiling muscles that could probably strangle anyone who attempted to fight him. He had full, spikey red hair, scars on his arms, and one splitting his eyebrow. His red, slitted eyes seemed vast, cunning, and terrifying while he lifted you up to eye level. And his smile, oh his smile. Jagged, sharp teeth with lips pulled into a cunning, just a bit too sweet smile.
Naga, for the most part, were peaceful creatures. They were strong fighters, fierce protectors, all due to the fact that they were just so much larger than their co-inhabititors of the world, but they were peaceful. They slithered about most of the year, helping those who came and went, but there were moments in the year where they were of concern.
During the late spring, early summer, they were hit with their heats and ruts. Powerful naga soon filled with the lusting, overwhelming desire to shove their fertile eggs into anything that would hold them. Nagas, who mated with nagas, were known to have wrestled as their mating dance, almost wiping out many towns in their horny, hot desires, and you froze suddenly feeling the thick waves of heat coming off the naga before you.
“W-Well, thank you!” you stammered, your body bowing lowly for the naga before you whose splitting smile was becoming stamped in your brain. “I appreciate you freeing me, but I must go now. Supper is waiting for me!”
“What’s your name, little one?” the naga instead asked, his clawed finger caressing your cheek so softly, so accurately, you nearly thought he was set on taking off your head. “I would like to know the name of the beautiful fairy I saved today.”
There was power in knowing names in this world, fairy names especially, so you couldn’t help the pit that formed in your stomach on account to this, or the way fear stimulated every cell in your body. 
“I-I can’t um, I can’t tell you,” you whimpered when his thick, large finger hooked underneath your chin to raise your head.
“Ah, it’s okay, little one, I promise I won’t do you wrong,” he promised, the lure in his voice — an advantage that nagas held in their times of heat. His voice was a warm blanket, smoothly pulling your eyes closed, making your wings flutter in your lulling excitement. “You can trust me.”
“Trust… you?” you spoke, mimicking his words, feeling like you were swimming in a warm, gooey honey trap. You bit down on your lower lip, heat rushing to your face as you stared upon his still cunning, sly grin as he traced his massive finger down from your wet, pouty lower lip to your hip. “I don’t… I can’t stay for longer?”
“Is that a question on your tone, little one?” he asked, his forked tongue flicking through his pointed teeth. “Can’t you stay? I have a favor to ask of you.”
A heavy, pitchy moan broke through your mouth as the tip of his claw dragged from your navel to your suddenly blistering core. Were you always this wet? How did you get so wet?
“But I…” you struggled to think, your eyes shut tightly, face twisting as you tried to figure out where you were needed right now. “I need to go… somewhere?”
“Somewhere?” he asked, voice light, buttery smooth. “I thought you were coming with me?”
“I… was?”
“Yes, little one, look at me,” he kissed the air, and you found your eyes pressing open, your jaw dropping when his piercing red eyes hypnotizing you. “Open those pretty little legs for me, I want to see if you’re fit enough to be my dam, my mate.”
Why that sent bubbling gasps from your tongue and sent your legs apart was beyond you, but it just seemed like the right thing to do. He had called you his mate… his dam.
His finger shoved between your legs, gently rubbing the massive finger that was probably nearly your height between your legs, catching onto your clit, sending resonating, shaking mewls from your throat. You collapsed forward, hips rutting back against his finger, your tiny fingers holding onto his knuckles, your eyes fluttering in this euphoria.
It felt so good.
So good, so good, “please more!”
You sobbed at the feeling of his finger coming up to allow more friction between you and your throbbing cunt, the bone of his knuckle-dragging so deliciously, so roughly against your throbbing clit that you started to feel weak in your knees.
“Call me Kirishima,” he growled, his finger flipping underneath you so that the pad of his finger could now press onto your clit, gathering your dripping slick as he does so. “Kirishima Eijirou.”
“Ei,” you spluttered, eyes barely open to watch the way his slitted pupils were dilated with his lust, the smell he was emitting without a doubt one of an alpha male plunging further within his rut. “This feels so good, please give meeeEE ahhh, oh god, give me more!”
Kirishima growled out a peal of chilling laughter, one that had your wings fluttering in their heavy, lucid attempt to fly and kiss the man that could swallow your entire body as if you were nothing more than a potato chip to him. You keened, one of your hands shakily removing themselves from his finger, stretching out to him.
“Kiss me, please kiss me,” you beg, your heaving breathes almost in synch with your wildly bucking hips.
“You want a kiss?” he hummed, bringing your tiny body close enough to tease you, but not near enough for you to plant a desperate, small kiss to his smooth, curling large lips. “Promise me two things.”
“Anything,” you promised, watching as his forked tongue flashed between his teeth, his eyes flashing with his shaking control on the situation. Your cheeks scorched at the sight of him wanting you just as badly as you wanted him. The dam in you jittering at the knowledge that he was a good mate, a good person by holding back, trying to keep his control before giving in. But you wanted him as deep as you were. You wanted to feel his finger intruding your clenching, spasming walls, to try and take on his undoubtedly huge cock.
You wanted to try it.
You wanted him.
“Anything you want, I will give you!” you shriek with promise, your clit feeling numb from the overstimulation and lack of release as you could not reach it without penetration. 
“Your name,” Kirishima growled, his lips dangerously close. “And promise to carry my — our children.”
“I promise, I promise, I promise!” you frantically claim, knowing you would do it all just for his lips against yours, and finally, he was close enough, his bottom lip nearly the size of your entire face as you kissed him again and again.
His lips were pursed, allowing your frantic kisses to have lain all over his awaiting soft lips. You shuddered at the electric sensation coursing through you with every second, and your wings fluttered in your excitement, bringing you up into the air, lifting you off his palm.
“Your name?” he commanded, the hand you abandoned running a taloned finger down the spine of your back, pleasantly, orgasmically feeling as he reached the spot between your sensitive wings. You loved the feeling and keened against his mouth. 
“Y/l/n y/n!”
“And you will have my children?”
“Yes!”
A possessive, all encompassing cross between a growl and a hiss slipped through his lips, and you looked down with your lust dipped eyes to see the two, twisted cocks he was rutting into his free hand. You cried at the fact that it wasn’t your cunt the sharp, near hook looking tip of his cock wasn’t ramming into. 
“Where do you think you’re going, little one?” Kirishima snarked, his eyes bright and humorous as he caught you by your wings. You moaned loudly at the lusting pull of your wings that you could feel pulsing into your core. “You’re not ready for my cock or eggs just yet.”
“But I wanna…” you cry, fingers stretching out toward the two writhing cocks that seemed to call your name. “I wanna try!”
“Shh, shh,” he cooed, his hand that was not occupied with his massive cocks releasing your wings and gently stroking your face. “It’s okay, it’s okay, you can try in a bit. I just don’t want my little one splitting in half before she’s been made useful!”
Your pouting and mouthwatering person turned to face Kirishima again, whose once red eyes were completely black in his rutting lust. 
“Split in half?” you echoed, a slight pain pinching your pussy, the thought of being split in two for those cocks not quite as horrendous as it should be. “Will I be?”
“Not if you stretch yourself out first,” Kirishima corrected, entirely missing your slight hope to be torn in half by his cock. “I want to see you fuck yourself on my finger at first. Do that, and I’ll let you sit on my cock and birth my eggs.”
A chill ran down your back, and you nodded, suddenly more than willing to throw yourself onto anything he would give you to prove yourself. And with his free hand, he presented his long ring finger whose talon was missing, most likely gone from some sort of battle.
But it didn’t matter. It was enough for you to prove yourself. 
Fluttering over to his finger, you dropped the small panties you owned onto his exposed palm before placing your sopping cunt right above his extended finger. You lowered yourself onto the tip, spreading your essence slick against his skin, your eyes unabashedly half-lidded as you watched the muscles in his arm pick up speed as you made eye contact with the excited naga. 
And with a twirl of your hips and a moan that vibrated straight through your chest, you sank onto his finger. 
It truly did feel like his splitting you in half. You recognized immediately at the way your walls nearly couldn’t keep up with how he opened you up. His finger was already giant within your spongey, tight walls. The heat and the callouses of his appendage unreplicable as you silently screamed, your walls spasming tightly around him, an orgasm taking you out without warning. You heaved, exhaustion ticking your brain as the soft bounces you made to further his finger up your cunt making you whine. He was huge, his finger huge. But you liked the fullness it brought you, the way you struggled not to send yourself flying off his finger like some rocket while you continued to fuck yourself against him.
You could do it, you could do it.
Soft wet noises filled the air as Kirishima’s aggressive stroking of his leaking cocks, and the way his finger seemed to be so loud in your tight cavern filled the forest.
More, give him more.
Pressing the collar of your outfit down, your legs wrapped around his finger as you continued to fuck yourself up and down his finger while your hands groped and pinched at your breasts, your eyes rolling back in your horny excitement. You could feel your orgasm growing again. You could tell by the clenching quivering of your spongey, velvet walls against his finger that you were close yet again.
“Fuck, little one, you’re taking my finger so well,” Kirishima sang in his praise, his snake tail coiling and thrashing wildly beneath the both of you, and you longed to feel the snake scales beneath your blazing core too. “Are you ready for my cock? I’m so close, so close. You made me like this, little one, so fucking hot, so sexy, fuck.”
You mewl loudly, your body well aware of the lewd scene he was creating with the way he wrangled his twin cocks in his hand. Your head dropped backward, a high pitched wail shooting through you when his finger moved within you, and you nodded your head as quickly as you could. Your legs relaxing around him as Kirishima quickly picked you off his finger, and without even three seconds of being empty again, two sharp, writhing cocks slammed within your cunt.
You staggered against his hold, body convulsing at the feeling of his snake cock flicking and twirling within your womb, stimulating the puffy, wet walls that were erratically beating, as the both of you came with loud, joint moans.
White filled your vision as your wet juices splattered down his cock, and the weirdest, almost constipating feeling filled you as solid, cold, and round objects filled your womb. Making the drool in your mouth dribble down the corner of your mouth as your eyes crossed.
One.
Two.
Three.
Four eggs.
Four eggs for you to grow, four kids you would have with Kirishima, and you sobbed in elation.
“I can feel them, Ei!” you sobbed, content with the babies he just gave you, already expanding your tiny little stomach to the optimal length it could reach. “Our babies!”
Kirishima chuckled, removing your from his cock and placing your pregnant little tiny body onto his shoulder, a sign that he would protect you through anything and everything.
“I can’t wait until they hatch, little one.”
And with that, he nuzzled against your face. And you vibrated in your happiness, more than willing to take on the world as Kirishima continued forward in the world. There was no looking back now.
1K notes · View notes
aubreyprc · 3 years
Text
voicemail
summary - emily gets in a plane crash. she leaves hotch a voicemail. season 7. after hit and run.
dialogue prompt given - ‘i was happier with you’ (this fic/idea was already in the works but i thought that line worked so well in it that i had to add it!)
word count - 4.4k
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He watches the phone ring, her name flashing up brightly. There’s a twist in his gut, a tight pain in his chest as he chooses to ignore it, to hold Beth closer to him as he turns away from phone, can see in the corner of his eye as it stops ringing and he forces himself to relax. The voicemail signal pops up not three minutes later and he frowns, reaching for it, but then Beth holds her hand out, a smirk on her face as she reminds him off his promise of one more dance before it inevitably gets too late to keep Jack up and the voicemail is forgotten, his phone pinging with a second voicemail just as he walks off with another woman in his arms.
It’s the first and only time he’ll ever ignore a call from her again, not only because of the guilt that follows, but because she will never call again, he’ll never have the option to take her call, to hear her voice, they will never have that final conversation they both deserved because she is dead. The last thing remaining of her being the two voicemails on his phone, his only remaining emotions guilt, regret and complete devastation.
Emily Prentiss died, and he ignored her final call.
It’s not that she expected things to be the same when she returned from Paris, she knew she hurt him, all of them, but him… him she knew she hurt the most. Because it was him who she cut off, it was him who she cancelled dinner with on numerous occasions, a string of lame excuses she knew he would never believe and it was him who she had loved, it was him who had loved her and it was them that she knew would be the biggest obstacle in her return, it was him she would struggle the most to gain back any sort of relationship with and she knew this from the moment she stepped foot back in the BAU, back into her family, prepared herself for the cold shoulder or harsh words, ready for the arguments and she was willing to fight for them, to fight for what they were just eight months ago.
She didn’t expect things to be the same.
Bu what she also didn’t expect was for him to completely switch, the cold shoulder she was ready for feeling more like ice than a heavy breeze, his harsh words more brutal than everything she ever thought he would direct at her or anyone, and his reluctance to engage with her in any form leaving her hopes for a slow but steady return to what they had been building snapping in half, the arguments she was ready to have to fight for him seeming pointless as he continues to pull away from her and when she overhears his conversation with Dave about a certain brunette he had lunch with, her heart cracks in half and she curses herself for even thinking he would want her back, would want to fight for them, for her and any she realises any hopes she had for them died along side her in that cold hospital room in Bethesda… she thinks maybe things would have worked out better for all of them if she had.
She decides to leave the moment Clyde calls her. Takes the opportunity the second it’s handed to her and the feeling of relief that washes over her when the plane ticket is forwarded to her, is when she accepts that this is her new chapter, that coming back to DC and staying was a mistake, that what was broken when she took herself off to Boston to save them will never mend. It didn’t matter that she did it to keep them safe, the bond they all shared was severed and she never truly felt like she belonged.
She took it upon herself to decline team nights after never feeling a part of it and smiling to herself sadly when it was obvious they did, as she assumed, have a better time without her there, she accepted that her and Aaron were never going to be the same and knew that it had to be her that built that distance, accepting the burden that came with it. The pain in her chest that lingers when she watches him and Beth one that she lives with, one that she knows she has to get away from and as she watches the team at JJ’s wedding, each of them in their own little circle, their laughs echoing around the garden, their smiles bright, her absence unnoticed, she takes herself inside, and confirms her flight, wiping her tears as she reads Clyde’s message.
‘I will pick you up from the airport. Welcome home.’
It’s with a sick feeling that she discovers her home was with them, her home once again somewhere she felt unwelcome, unwanted and alone, and holds back her tears, preparing herself for once again needing to rebuild her life elsewhere because she had ruined the only home she ever had.
The goodbyes felt bittersweet, her need to be somewhere new clashing with her heartbreak over leaving.
She wipes Penelope’s tears as she wishes her good luck, makes promises to visit her as soon as she settles and Emily simply smiles, not allowing herself to believe them.
She holds JJ close as the blonde woman whispers words of love, wishing her the best before smiling, her own tears being held back as she says her goodbyes.
Derek holds her so tight she wonders for a moment if this is the right thing, that if leaving them is what she needs, but then he nods, a small smile on his face and she understands that he agrees with her, that this is good, for her and for them, and she swallows the lump in her throat before smiling back.
Dave kisses both of her cheeks and holds her face, telling her she will do great things and makes her promise to call him once a week, she agrees, all while wondering how long it would be before he simply stopped answering.
Reid cries, his head buried in her neck as he tells her he’ll miss her, that he’ll call her all the time and that he’ll send her books and movies he enjoys, wanting her to enjoy them to. She cups his face, wipes his tears and tells him she can’t wait, that he can call anytime, she knows he won’t.
Aaron simply stands, watching as she says her goodbyes and as she pulls away from Reid, their eyes meet over his shoulder and he looks away, making no attempt to say his farewells and she looks down, clearing her throat before she smiles, looking back at the team.
She can see them watching the car drive down the road, watches as they disburse, each of them moving on from her and she smiles, their family a unit once again.
She boards the plane with a heavy heart, a dull ache in her chest and a feeling in her gut that she tells herself is just nerves, just upset. Her gut tightens as she takes her seat and she has to force herself to breathe, has to close her eyes as fear and some unknown feeling washes over her and she almost stands, almost gets off the plane, but then the doors shut and the lights dim and she forces herself to relax, leaning her head back on the seat as she taps her phone on her leg, pushing down the unknown feeling she’s left with as the plane starts to roll forward on the path. She looks out of the window, watching as the plane speeds down the runaway and as the plane heads off, she closes the shutter, refusing to watch as she leaves D.C behind for the second and final time.
It nags at him for hours, how he didn't say goodbye to her, how he let her leave without so much as a small acknowledgement, how he allowed his love for her to be brought out with hate, with dismissiveness, with anger and betrayal and he hates even more that it didn't even work, that he is still as much in love with her now as he was last year, maybe more so, and that watching her leave again was far too painful, feeling that letting her go without a goodbye would save them the heartache and the inevitable argument they'd been avoiding since her return.
He regrets it the moment the car drives away from Dave's house, regrets it the moment she is gone, it's his regret that has him watch the phone as it rings, her name flashing up along with the picture he'd never had the heart to change, a picture of them just last year, one Jack had taken (albeit badly) of the two of them as they sat on the couch in his apartment, her smile so bright he remembers staring at it for day's, mesmerised by the sight of it, can still here their laughs as the picture was taken. Can still feel the touch of her hand in his and he hates it, hates how close they were to having everything, hates how quickly it was broken... he hates that he hates her almost as much as he loves her, hates that he blames her for ruining them... he hates himself too.
It's easier to ignore the call, than to hear her voice, knowing how heartbroken they both are, knowing that the conversation wont make them feel better, not over the phone. Its easier to hold Beth closer, a woman with no past, with no complications, someone easy and nice. Its easier to be led away by her than to listen to the voicemail, to hear just how hurt she is knowing its his fault, knowing that their goodbye will for now be unsaid, but knowing he will call her, he has to, he loves her, that can not be ignored.
It happens pretty quickly, but also not quick enough.
It's barley been two hours, can still see most of the views even from their height and they're not even out of America when the plane starts to jump. Turbulence, the pilot had said, but it does not relax her at all, not when the flight attendants look at each other with horror, not when the seatbelt sign pings on, and certainly not when the plane jolts so badly it drops almost two feet, and then the oxygen masks fall. It's not even five minuets later when the turbulence turns to complications, that its announced that the pilots can not control the plane, that they are dropping, that this is it, and she laughs, she has to, because of course it ends like this. Of course it does.
There's a woman behind her on the phone to her parents, another on the phone to their wife, one is telling his children he loves them and another is silently saying a prayer, gripping onto the seats for dear life hoping maybe, it will save her.
She stares at her phone in her hand, her contact list full of names, but no one who she thinks she could call right now, no one who she has to say goodbye to, no one who will answer, no one who will care.
His name is the first one that pops into her head, her need to tell him everything overwhelming when she accepts that she is going to die here. now. and she refuses to die with regrets again, refuses to die with the three words she wants him to know more than anything dying with her for the second time and she refuses to regret him, she can’t. she won’t.
The ring tone feels like its screaming down her ear, her stomach in knots as the plane continues to jolt violently, the shouts, screams and cries of those around her almost deafening and she knows he won’t answer, (all of her wishes he would).
Her first voice mail is made out of fear, her voice shaky and soft as she tries to block out the screams of the young girls behind her, the cries of the women who sob for their children.
She runs out of time, and she laughs at herself because, everything she just said was pointless, her heart still filled with regret as it’s not until the plane drops so violently that the sound of the wing falling off sounds like a siren, the he plane starting to drop quickly and sideways that she calls again, this time determined to tell him what she has been meaning to for months, even though she knows how unfair it is.
By the time the voicemail runs out of time, she’s crying, tears falling from her eyes, her last breath more of a whisper as she drops the phone to the ground, places her ID badge in her back pocket, knowing if by some miracle, their bodies are found, someone will find comfort in knowing it’s her. Maybe her mother, maybe her friends she left behind, someone will, she knows that.
A woman grabs her hand and she looks to her left.
“Two women alone, neither of us should die that way.” she says to her and Emily smiles, taking the woman’s hand in her own. “see you on the other side.” she whispers, and it’s the last thing she hears before she’s gone.
It happened pretty quickly. But not quickly enough.
A plane crash is big news on any day, a plane crash with the theory of insider terrorism is even bigger.
It’s reported eighteen minutes after it happened.
The FBI is called twenty two minutes after it happened.
The BAU and Counter Terrorism are brought in twenty eight minutes after it happened.
JJ’s phone rings thirty two minutes after it happens.
Her heart snaps in half thirty four minutes after it happens.
“What was Emily’s flight number?” she asks walking back into the garden, the entire team sat around the table frown at her.
“4403 to London, why?” Reid asks, the woman drops her head, sure she would have dropped to the floor is Will hadn’t been standing next to her.
“Her plane went down. No survivors. The theory is insider terrorism.” she explains sadly.
They find out Emily died thirty seven minutes after it happened.
Aarons heart breaks thirty eight minutes after it happens. His world stops spinning thirty nine minutes after it happened. He remembers her calling him forty minutes after it happened.
“We’re on the case?” Dave asks, already standing when JJ nods. The team following behind him.
“I’ll take Jack home, okay?” Beth says to him, bringing him out of his thoughts and he simply nods, standing, running on auto pilot.
He forgets about the voicemails as soon as he enters the building, fifty four minutes after it happened.
“These are the pictures of all passengers. One of them was in on it. We need to find out who. BAU you’re not here to investigate.. you’re here to rule out one of your own.” a man says as they enter the room, her picture flashes up on the screen and Aaron feels sick, his mind running back to Ian Doyle and Boston and that horrible hospital in Bethesda and … yet this time it’s real. This time she truly is gone.
“Emily Prentiss,” they say, “ex CIA, ex FBI, on her way to run a Interpol office in London.”
“She wasn’t in on this,” Reid says as he stares at her picture.
“That’s what you’re here to rule out.” they say, “Agent Hotchner,” the man looks up, once again snapped from this memories of her, of them. “We’ll talk to you first.”
They rule her out all but immediately, no sign of anything found on the devices of hers they had access to, and the team find themselves more involved with the case as they had thought, access to all files of the passengers, building profiles. Yet all Aaron can stare at is hers, her picture staring right back it him, her eyes so full of life, a picture taken just a year ago when they renewed their badges, there is a look of love in her eyes that he knows was meant for him and it has his stomach turning, with just how quickly everything changed, with so much regret for not fighting for her when he had the change, with so much pain that he once again lost the woman he loved, the woman he once saw forever with, and it was once again his fault.
She was only on the plane because of him.
Only moving to London because of him.
She is only dead because of him.
Just like his mother. Just like Haley. Emily now victim number three of the curse of loving him, of being loved by him, of being hurt because of him.
“Hotch,” Dave says as he taps the man on the shoulder and he clears his throat.
“Yes?” he says, turning to face the older man and the look on his face makes him nauseous, the pain, the heartache, the pity
“We’re done here.” he tells him, “we need to go home. We need to grieve.”
“We need to—”
“Emily is dead, Aaron.” he tells him, “she’s dead.” he says again, finality in his tone, as if he is trying to make him understand. “They’re actively searching for bodies, no luck yet. She’s dead, and we need to go home and we need to accept that. We need to grieve.”
“She… I—”
“I know,” he says sadly, “go home.” the older man tells him and he nods, clearing his throat as he looks to the team, each one of them wiping their tears as they pack their bags, Reid held closely into Morgan’s arms, the genius once again grieving for his friend, his sister, the older man once again grieving his best friend, his partner. JJ takes hold of Garcia’s hand as they head out, the women a duo once again, a space in the middle of them where the love of his life used to stand.
The love of his life he realises sadly as he looks down, because that’s what she was, never a love like it before, never one since. He doesn’t see how their could be.
“I’m sorry for your loss, Agents” a man says as he looks at Aaron, a sad smile on his face before he walks away.
“Go,” Dave says, “I’ll drive.”
“No,” he declines, “I need to be alone.” he tells his oldest friend, and he nods, watching him walk out.
He stares at the nothing as he parks in front of his house, his mind playing moments with her over and over again. He can still hear her laugh, can see her smile, can feel her touch on his skin and he wonders just how long it will be until he forgets.
He never wants to forget.
He walks into his apartment aimlessly, throwing his suit jacket onto the couch as he sighs, his whole body heavy as he grieves for her, not allowing himself to cry, he has no right.. this is his fault.
He remembers how he’d treated her, how cold and hostile he’d been, how cruel… and he wants to be sick, wishes he could take it back, hold her in his arms one more time and tell her he loved her.
It hits him like a harsh slap, when he remembers that he’d not even said goodbye to her, had let her leave without so much as a smile in her direction, had let her go thinking he hated her and he knows that will follow him forever, knows he’ll regret a lot of things, but her, how he’d treated her, he knows is something he’ll never forgive himself for.
The sound of his phone grabs his attention and he sighs, pulling it from his pocket. Beth’s name popping up and he swallows, taking a deep breath before accepting the call.
“Hey,” her voice is soft, light… he wonders why he doesn’t find it soothing. “I took Jack back to my place. Thought you could use the time alone…”
“Thank you,” he tells her, his voice hoarse.
“Do you want to talk?” she asks delicately.
“Tomorrow…” he tells her, “Not now… I can’t right now.”
“Okay,” she says gently, “try and get some rest.”
“I will, bye.” he says and ends the call before she says anymore, unable to even hear the words fall from her mouth.
It’s as he stares at the four notifications on his phone that he remembers.
He remembers watching her name pop up, her picture behind it, he remembers ignoring it, holding another woman closer, he remembers the confusion when she left a voicemail, remembers going to grab it before he was whisked away by Beth.
He remembers she left him a voicemail four hours and eight minutes after it happened.
He listens to them four hours and ten minutes after it happened.
*Hey, its me.” she says, she sounds calm, he notes, and his heart hammers in his chest as he drops to the couch. “I erm..” she pauses, the sound of her taking a breath hitting his ear and he closes his eyes, clenching his jaw. “I… I don’t know why I’m calling…” she laughs and he rolls his lips, the sound of her laughter something he used to love… used to crave. “I guess I was hoping you would answer? I’m not sure what I even would have said if you did.” hatred for himself builds up as he remembers ignoring her call, knowing now why she wanted to talk to him. Knowing now it was his last chance. “I guess I just wanted to tell you that I get it. I understand why you hate me… I understand why you’re distant and I don’t blame you. If the roles were reversed, I don’t know.. maybe I would have acted the same way.” she tells him, but they both know she wouldn’t have. Her actions after Foyet proved that. There’s a loud crash down the phone and he jumps, her heavy breathing sending shivers down her spine and he’s overtaken by horror as he wonders if her death was painful, if she was hurt, he hopes it was instant. That she didn’t feel it. “Funny thing, turns out I got on the wrong plane,” she laughs, finding humour in her situation, and he laughs too, because she always did make him laugh, no mater what was happening. “I… guess I just wanted to talk to you .. but you’re not here so.. Yeah.” she pauses, “don’t let the team grief for too long, okay? Tell them I wouldn’t want that, because I don’t. They grieved for me once, they shouldn’t have to again.” she’s holding back tears now, he knows, can hear it in her voice and it has his chest tightening. “Aaron.. I—” she says, before there’s a loud scream, not from her, but from someone near her, and she gasps a breath, then it’s over, silence on the other end, her voice gone, and he pulls the phone from his ear.
There’s another one, he realises, and he swallows before he clicks it.
“I always thought we were it, you know?” she starts, and he swears his heart stops, his body lunging forward as his eyes widen. “That everything would work out and that we would be.. us, again.” She takes a breath, one of her last, “I understand why we couldn’t be, I understand why you acted the way you did, I do… but I can’t say that it didn’t hurt, it did. I told myself when I got back from Paris, that I would tell you, that I would lay it all on the table and let you decide and I would know, even if it wasn’t the answer I wanted, that you knew, that I told you and that I could get rid of that regret… but I didn’t. And I can’t.. I cant die with this on my chest again. It’s selfish, and it’s cruel and I know you’re with Beth and i know you're happy but,”  she takes another breath and he closes his eyes, “I was happier with you.” she says, her voice cracking, “ And it’s not fair, I know, but…” she pauses, he can imagine her closing her eyes, can hear the breath she takes, “Aaron, I love you.” she tells him and he feels his heart crumble to pieces in his chest, can feel the world stop. “I have loved you for… years, I think,” she laughs. “It’s not fair that I’m telling you this now, I know. I get that you hate me and I understand and I’m sorry, I'm sorry that I'm telling you now and not before and I’m sorry I couldn’t be the person you deserve and I’m sorry for… for everything. But I’m not sorry for loving you, I’m not sorry for that year we had together, and I hope you’re not either. I hope that that’s what you remember about me, about us. I hope that’s what you carry with you. I was happier with you, happier than I’ve ever been.” she says, and she’s crying, he knows she is, he is too. “I love you. And I’m sorry.” she tells him once again, and then again, there’s nothing. It’s over.
No more voicemails.
No more her.
No more anything.
He throws his phone at the wall, anger coming out his veins as he shouts, shaking as he stands, grabbing his glass of whiskey, before he throws that too, overwhelmed as he hears her saying I love you again and again.
He drops to the floor with a sob, heartbroken, grief ridden.. broken.
If he’d of answered the phone, he’d of been able to tell her he loves her too. She’d of not died thinking he hated her, she would have died knowing she was loved, by him, by everyone.
If he had been honest with her from the start, she’d still be here, wrapped in his arms.
Emily Prentiss died, and he ignored her final call, and he will never be given the option to tell her that he loves her too.
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Damian Wayne Dating HCs
Pairing :: older/adult!Damian Wayne x fem!Reader
Headcanon :: How Damian gets into and acts in a relationship
Word Count :: 1,676
Warnings :: N/A
A/N :: The image I’m using I created with Artbreeder. 
I didn’t call Damian “Robin” and referred to him as a vigilante because Dick stopped being Robin at 25, Jason 22, and Tim 18. The Damian I’m writing is 22. We don’t see much of Older!Damian, and when we do he’s either taken up the mantle of Batman or The Demon’s Head for The League Of Assassins
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Getting into a relationship (all of this is in roughly a year) :
Neither you nor Damian know when you started dating, it just sort of happened
He met you at a bookstore you worked at, and you noticed he always came in buying older books about history, warfare, and strategies.
You found the warfare and strategies odd at first but chose not to question it
You asked him out first.
“Why do you always buy these books?” “I like history.” “Oh cool, I do too... Wanna hang out and talk about the First Battle of Tarain?”
You were joking, he said yes to get out of doing a thing with Tim
You each thought it was going to be a small amount of time spent together at some local cafe. You two ended up staying until closing talking about history.
This becomes a bi-weekly thing, you meet up at the cafe, talk until it closes, or go out and talk in a nearby park until sunset.
Damian’s family notices, but choose not to question what he’s doing because it’s seemingly making him less annoyed with people
Dick starts getting curious when he sees Damian smile just a tad bit looking at a text from you
You text him random facts all the time, but they’re weird. “Did you know squirrels are behind most power outages in the US?”
Eventually, you two stop talking about just history and start talking about other things that interest each of you and your personal lives. 
You open up more than Damian
Damian pays close attention when he notices you’re talking about something you’re genuinely passionate about He pays attention to detail in general.
For your birthday he got you a leather swiss army medic bag from WWII. You cried tears of joy and jumped onto him for a big long hug.
That was the first time Damian’s heart skipped a beat. After seeing you overjoyed, he realized he likes seeing you happy. It gave him a warm feeling, but he doesn’t know yet he has feelings for you.
Yours and Damian’s first “official date” was to a fancy Wayne Ent. event. This time Damian asked you. He’s super stiff.
“Would you like to accompany me to the upcoming-” “Are you asking me out on a date??” “No, I’m asking you to accompany me-” “I’ll go.”
No one in his family knows your coming, except for Alfred because he was asked to pick you up and bring you to the manor the day of. Alfred is confused the entire car ride because you act super chill
When you show up, the other boys surround you. Dick realizes who you are instantly, Jason thinks you’re not human, Tim is afraid you’re like Damian.
Bruce is silent, and a bit thankful his son found a normal human
Damian picked out your outfit: A fancy dark Sacramento green dress with black heels, a pearl necklace, and pearl bracelets to match.
You panicked when you saw the jewelry and Damian instantly goes into “comfort mode” to reassure you it’s fine. The family is shook.
At the actual event, you feel SUPER AWKWARD. Your family had enough to get by in life, so you feel very out of place around all the rich people
Damian can tell you’re uncomfortable and so he tries to hold onto you at all times to help you feel comfortable
Ex: He holds your hand, puts a hand on your shoulder, stands directly next to you so your arms are touching.
You eventually feel comfortable, but, you’re both bored there, so you suggest hiding in the outside garden
Finally alone, you two start talking about the other batboys
“Does Dick always try to show off odd party tricks?” “Only when he sees a pretty lady.”
“Why was Jason just standing in the corner looking at everyone?” “He doesn’t like dressing up.”
“Come on, there’s no way Tim’s actually happy here.” “Did you see him on the dance floor?” He has awesome dance moves, he’s just very energetic.
You eventually start talking about something else.
You can hear the music from inside, so you two start slow dancing together.
He’s holding one of your hands and has a hand placed on the small of your back. You rest your head on his shoulder and have your free hand flat on his chest.
It’s in this instant you each realize you have feelings for one another.
You two swayed around slowly until the song eventually ended.
When you two pull away, you stare into his green eyes briefly before you place a hand on his cheek and pull him down for a kiss.
Once In A Relationship :
You and Damian are a good pair because he’s serious and you’re go-with-the-flow. If he starts over-analyzing something, you start relaxing him. 
You two spend at least one day a week together, and you constantly text each other basic messages like “How was your day?”, “Are you okay?”, “Good morning/night”, “Have a nice day”
If you take over an hour to reply to Damian he gets anxious something bad happened to you.
He legitimately gets ready to start searching EVERY PART of Gotham until he gets a text “Sorry, I was taking a nap. Long day at work.”
When you two are together, you’re usually out or at your apartment. He only takes you to the manor if none of the other guys are there.
He took you once with everyone there. Never again.
Dick: “Oh my god! Look! He has a little girlfriend! How cute, Damian’s growing up.” “I’m 22.”
Tim: “You… You look so nice. Why? How is she so nice and you’re so… you.” “I’ll murder you and make it look like an accident.”
Jason: “How? Did you threaten her? Is he threatening you?” “Dames is super sweet.”
When you call Damian “Dames”, your nickname for him, they all lose their shit.
“DAMES?” “YOU HAVE A NICKNAME FOR HIM?” “DA-ME-SSS?” “DO YOU HAVE MORE?” “D-A-M-E-S?”
Your nicknames for Damian: Dame, Love, and Mr. Serious
Damian’s nicknames for you: Beloved, Love, and Sunflower
He briskly drags you away before you can say anything else, and you just go with it. 
“??I thought we were going to talk more to your brothers??” “They’re not my brothers.” “Okay. I appreciate you.” “.....I appreciate you too.”
You two don’t say “I love you” very often. Instead, you say “I appreciate you”. You do say “I love you” in private/intimate moments, but in public/at random you say “I appreciate you”
Damian isn’t possessive, just protective. There’s a difference. 
He’s never been in a serious relationship before and he’s never loved someone romantically like with you before, so he wants to make sure you’re safe and comfortable 24/7
The first time a random guy catcalled you while you were with Damian, he instantly defended your honor.
“What did you say?” He grabs the guy and easily raises him a foot off the ground. He forces the guy to apologize and lets him fall on the ground after.
Quickly, you reassured Damian he doesn’t need to go to such lengths to “defend your honor”. You tell him to ignore people like that guy because they’re nobodies.
After a few months, you start to pick up on the fact you two rarely spend time together after sunset.
You questioned him once about it and he quickly told you it’s because he helps his father with Wayne Ent. You never questioned him again.
You didn’t 100% believe his answer, but trust he wouldn’t do anything to hurt you
One time you called him crying at night. He was about to go on patrol, then dropped everything to go to your apartment and make sure you were okay.
Damian got a key to your apart about a year into the relationship.
There are times you go to sleep alone and wake up with him asleep, arms wrapped around you. He doesn’t do this often, only after a rough night on a patrol or a particularly dark mission.
Damian’s usually a realist, but when he sees you smile and laugh, he becomes an optimist for a split second
He isn’t big on PDA, so depending on his mood sometimes you hold hands when walking, other times you just lock your pinkies together.
When one of you notices the other is upset though, then you get touchy to calm the other down
Sometimes, when you two are alone at your apartment or the mansion, you don’t speak. You just rest and enjoy the silence while laying on top of one another.
If you lay on Damian, you’re literally on top of him snuggling into his chest. He holds one of your hands and rubs your back.
If Damian lays on you, you’re usually sitting and he places his head on your lap. You love playing and messing around with his hair.
When you found out Damian’s a vigilante, it was a massive accident
You called him while he was on patrol, whispering in a shaking voice that two men had broken into your apartment.
He booked it to your apartment and busted through the window, in costume.
After taking care of the guys and handing them over to the authority, he starts questioning you to make sure you’re okay. When you don’t answer he realizes he’s still in costume talking to you now.
You’re in shock because now a lot of things make sense.
You’re upset for about an hour(because Damian knows how to make you happy when you’re angry) and then you’re utterly fascinated by Damian’s other life
Damian tells you he doesn’t want you to know a lot because it could put you in danger and you’re the one part of his life that’s normal
You accept his wishes and continue with your relationship as normal.
There are only two things that changed:
One: Damian moves you to a more secure apartment and makes sure you have plenty of bats or batons you could use to protect yourself “just in case”
Two: Damian spends almost every night at your apartment after patrol now
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alpacaparkaseok · 3 years
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The Pact - Shocker
Pairing/Genre: OT7 BTS x reader (not poly), idol!BTS, best friend BTS
Word Count: 8.1k
Premise: The truth about the pact the boys have about you has been revealed. What happens when you agree to go on a single date with each of them?
Warnings: angst, lots of feelings, but a lot of those are fluffy, happy feelings lol
a/n: there’s not much left so say except for thank you. I hope you enjoy, I tried my best!
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Shocker (finale)
series masterlist
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“Perhaps one did not want to be loved so much as to be understood.” -George Orwell ‘1984’
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Sunday, 3:12 am – immediately following the events of date #7
           The fact that the lights are still on isn’t surprising in the least. It’s been like this after every date. Yoongi is no exception, apparently.
           He pauses outside the door, resting his hand gently against the doorknob. It’s nearly silent, but he can hear familiar voices speaking in hushed tones on the other side of the door. He stares at the dark door, unable to shake the memory of your tear-stained cheeks and swollen ankle from his mind. You had sounded so worried, so afraid of what comes next.
           You’d mumbled out his name when you made it to your bed, the exhaustion on your face momentarily replaced with a look he could only interpret as blind fear. And the way you’d looked at him, wide eyed with a quivering lip…he doesn’t think you noticed, but he nearly caved. He almost laid down beside you and taken you into his arms, deeming the time on the beach not enough.
           With you, it was never enough. Slivers of time and longing looks you never noticed; it would never be enough.
           If the botched date wasn’t evidence enough, it was then, when you gazed up at him and mumbled out his name, Yoongi knew.
           Tonight…it wasn’t enough.
           So he just leaned forward and watched how your eyes fluttered shut as he pecked your nose.
           “I know.”
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          Jungkook straightens up from where he was slumped on the couch beside Jin the second the door opens and Yoongi walks in. The scattered conversation that they had all been using as a distraction fades out as each boy focuses in on the newcomer.
           Hobi is practically invisible beneath the huge sweatshirt he wears, his face barely visible as he speaks. “How was it?”
           For some reason or another, there’s always been a postdate analysis of sorts. It’s usually just like this: all of the boys gathered up in the living room in various states of consciousness. Jimin was the only one to slide by without an impromptu meeting after his date, partially because he was too exhausted to see straight and also because everyone knew he’d tell them all the details at breakfast the next morning. He did, and Taehyung actually managed to break a bowl when he lost it over the story of how you and Jimin got kicked out of the basilica.
           Namjoon, on the other hand, had been pretty grim when he realized that Jimin had been teasing you endlessly about your little kiss.
           Now, Yoongi shuffles inside and plops down unceremoniously beside Namjoon, who looks a little worried at the silence. Dropping his heads in his hands, Yoongi rubs at his face before leaning back against the couch.
           “It was fine, if you don’t count the twisted ankle.”
           “What?” Jimin sputter out, suddenly wide awake. “She got hurt?”
           “What happened?” Hobi follows up, leaning forward until he’s nearly slipping off of the couch. “Is she alright?”
           Yoongi is quick to explain your little accident, omitting your tears from the storytelling. He doesn’t want to embarrass you or make the others feel bad. The others listen with rapt attention, Jungkook’s mouth in a little ‘o’ all throughout.
           Jin remains silent on the couch, as he usually does during these little meetings. He’ll occasionally comment on something or voice a question, but he tends to remain fairly quiet. Drinking in the information, eyes clear despite the late hour.
           It’s unnerving.
           “So…it’s not a bad injury?” Namjoon asks, crossing his arms.
           “No, she’s fine,” Yoongi reassures. “Just tired. She went straight to bed after I dropped her off.”
           Taehyung grins knowingly. “Adorable.”
           Everyone is silent as everyone turns to their thoughts, the same thing on everyone’s mind. It’s Hobi again that breaks the silence, stretching and yawning as he gets to his feet.
           “Well, that’s that. It’s over. Gentlemen,” he eyes everyone around the room, shuffling toward the hallway where the warmth of his bed calls to him. “It’s been a pleasure working with you.”
           “Wait!” Jungkook also hops to his feet, much more alert than the older boy. “What happens now?”
           There are a few non-committal answers from around the room, but two people remain silent. Meeting eyes from across the space, Jin and Yoongi share a silent agreement.
           Jin clears his throat, and it’s only then that the boys realize that it’s been hours since he last spoke. With a soft smile he utters, “We let her choose. Whatever she wants, if she wants to go back to normal or decides to date someone.” His eyes return to Yoongi, and suddenly the memory of two years prior is laid out before them. “Then…we let her go.”
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           “I’m just saying, if he didn’t want you to find it, he would’ve hidden it in his underwear drawer. Sock drawer is a stupid way to go.”
           You sip at the horchata Gina brought over for you, huffing out a laugh. “You’re so weird.”
           Gina shrugs. “Just saying. So what did you get up to yesterday?”
           Yesterday. You had woken up with red eyes and puffy cheeks from all the crying you had done the night before. Slightly embarrassed but more feeling miserable for yourself, you had crawled to the shower and tried to get your thoughts straight.
           When you emerged, you had a couple of texts to welcome you. They were from Jimin and Taehyung, welcoming you back to the groupchat. There were plenty of happy emojis and balloons taking up the messages, enough to make you crack a smile. You shot back a thank you text, letting out a sigh of relief.
           It was good to be back.
           When Namjoon texted and tentatively asked about the state of your ankle and if you were open to them popping over, you took nearly an hour to decide. Nervous about seeing all of them, cautious because you had no idea what would happen if you were in the same room.
           Who would you radiate toward, without even realizing?
           It was then, when that question popped up, that you realized that you had known the answer all along.
           It was startling, how the answer had been there all along. So simple, yet so unattainable.  
           “The boys wanted to check in on me,” you sigh, glaring down at your ankle. It’s still sore, but much better today. Although it’s safe to say you won’t be flying kites anytime soon.
           “But…?”
           “The thought of all seven of them in my little apartment at the same time was overwhelming,” you admit. “I needed a minute. To think. And I know I’ve had weeks to think about it, but yesterday was the first time I felt like I could see the full picture…if that makes sense.”
           Gina nods thoughtfully, reaching over to refill your glass of horchata. The sun is steadily making its way to the horizon, another day wrapping up. “It does. You’ve been going out with someone different each week, you’re probably suffering from information overload after all of those dates and the confession on the pact…how are you not exhausted?”
           “I was yesterday. I was torn – Gina, I want to go back to normal so bad. Just the way it was.”
           “Ignorance is bliss.”
           You set your glass down, pushing back from the table and crossing your arms. “Wouldn’t that be better?” You muse. “That way, nobody gets hurt.”
           Gina tilts her head to one side, eyes flashing. A smirk forms on her face. “You wouldn’t be saying this if you hadn’t already decided on someone.” She leans forward in her seat, staring into your soul. “Who?”
           You school your features into a neutral position. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
           “No, no. You don’t get to shut me out. You have feelings for someone, don’t you!” Gina points an accusing finger at you, letting out a startled laugh. “You totally do! What went on in your head, yesterday? Or maybe you’ve loved them for a while, and this is what it took to realize it-”
           “I can’t do it, Gina.” Your eyes are wide as you plead more with yourself than her. “I can’t do that to the others.”
           “And what, you plan to just let him go?”
           Dropping your head into your hands, you squeeze your eyes shut. “Do I have another choice?”
           The scrape of the chair against the floor alerts you to Gina rising from her seat, and you expect her to leave. She has every right to, you’re frustrated with yourself as well. However, a second later she’s rubbing your back, urging you to look up. Once you do, she offers you a small smile.
           “You always have a choice.”
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           Gina stays for a couple more hours, offering her support as you blubber on about how worried you are. While your heart is urging you to throw caution to the wind and go after what you’ve wanted for longer than you ever realized before, your mind does a great job of conjuring up different reactions from the others.
           All of them are depressing. Every time you close your eyes you’re met with the crestfallen expressions of your best friends. Scenarios play out in your head, where you’re blissfully happy for a few seconds before everything comes tumbling down.
           “You’ve gotta get out of your head,” Gina chides as she eases off the couch. “You’re miserable.”
           You sigh, staring up at the ceiling. “It’s just…I can’t do anything. I can’t. That’s horrible of me.”
           “They’re grown boys; they knew what they were getting themselves into with this. Just…tell me something before I head out.”
           “…ok.”
           Gina pauses before the door, hands on her hips. “Why him? Because from where I’m sitting, they all love you.”
           The question takes you by surprise, but the answer is rolling off your tongue in an instant. “I want to be loved, yes. But more than that…I want to be understood.” You stare at a framed photo on the wall, solemn. “He understands me.”
           You don’t hear when Gina leaves, the thoughts in your head too loud. Instead you stay seated on the couch, chewing on your lip. Wondering.
           Remembering.
           All the times he’d been there – he was always there for you, how could you never notice? – never drawing attention to himself. Just there. Just in case you needed him.
           What’s stopping you?
           A knock on the door stops your train of thought, and you hobble up to your feet. Swinging the door open you say, “Did you forget something?”
           Jin stands on your porch, clutching a garment bag to his chest. His ears are bright red, set aflame by the setting sun. He’s wearing his glasses, which he pushes up on his nose. “I…no?”
           “Oh!” You step back, wincing a little from your ankle. “I thought you were Gina! I…hey.”
           “Hey.” Shuffling on his feet, Jin looks down at the bag he’s holding, seeming to remember why he was here in the first place. “Oh, here. I know it’s a little late, but I got your dress dry cleaned and…well, yeah. Here you go.”
           His hands tremble a bit, but you don’t comment as you take the bag from him. “Thank you. Your sweater is actually hanging up in my room…why don’t you come in while I grab it?”
           “Can I?” Jin looks down at your doorstep, chewing on the inside of his cheek. “I don’t want to intrude…”
           “Just come in!” You call over your shoulder, already heading down the hallway. “This will only take a second. Besides, it’s cold outside.”
           The door clicks shut, Jin stepping inside and shoving his hands in his pockets. You rush inside your room, throwing your dress on a hanger in the closet and scanning your clothes for Jin’s blue sweater. When you find it – grinning at the whale on the front – you pause. Holding it in your hands, you take a deep breath.
           “Hey,” Jin’s voice rings out down the hallway. You catch a slight tremble in his tone, which is mirrored by your shaking hands. “I a-actually wanted to talk to you for a second. If that’s ok…?”
           Clearing your voice of the emotion that’s riding you, you respond. “Just come down here.”
           A second later Jin is tentatively peeking inside your room, giving you a nervous smile. His eyes then land on your dresser, widening a bit.
           “So you did steal my copy!”
           Gasping, you toss Jin’s sweater at him and lunge for the dresser. There’s the pact, out in the open for anyone to see. “I- I was gonna give it back-”
           “I can’t believe you’d steal from me.”
           “It was for a good cause!”
           Jin rolls his eyes, laughing as he snatches the pact from you and holds it up in the air. “Nuh-uh, I’m taking this home with me. You’ve had it for long enough.” He makes a point of folding it up and sticking it in his back pocket, staring down at you with an amused expression.
           Suddenly you’re transported to his living room, dancing in his arms. Staring up at him like he put the stars in the sky while he looks at you like you’re the forbidden fruit.
           Is that why he’s here, now? To finally give in to the temptation?
           From the way the smile slides off his lips, you can tell that he’s remembering the same moment. His mouth opens a bit, looking as though he’s about to speak. After a moment, it shuts. Then he slowly reaches out, arms encircling you as he studies your expression. Waiting for any moment of discomfort.
           The second Jin pulls you into his embrace and you rest your head against his chest, his shoulders deflate and he lets out a long sigh.
           It’s not a sigh of relief.
           “Do you remember the first time we hung out together? Jimin wanted to bring you to the Spring Day set, and it was freezing. We were all complaining about our toes falling off and yelling at Namjoon for writing about such a cold song.”
           You chuckle, nodding. Jin’s voice rumbles through his chest as he continues. “I thought that it was so embarrassing, too. We were complaining like kids in front of Jimin’s pretty friend. I figured that you’d never want to hang out with us again. I’ll never forget how angry Jimin was with us after, saying that we were probably making you uncomfortable. Obviously, we all said that it was stupid of him to bring you to a freezing music video set for our first meeting.”
           Jin tightens his grip, laying his cheek atop your head and swaying gently back and forth. You’re not sure if he even realizes that he does it, but you don’t ask. Not as he’s walking down memory lane. It feels like it’s been centuries since you first met.
           “You know what I remember the most about you from that day?”
           You hum, nuzzling in a little closer. Hanging on for just a moment longer.
           “You never complained. Like, at all.” Jin cups your chin, making you look up at him. He smiles softly, but his eyes are sad. “I thought it was a superpower or something, seriously. You just smiled and joked around with Jungkook and Tae. If you were cold or uncomfortable or even weirded out by us, you didn’t say anything.”
           You roll your eyes, latching your hands behind Jin’s back. “I was definitely weirded out, but I didn’t want Jimin to feel bad. He was so excited for me to meet you guys.”
           Jin chuckles, the sound momentarily warming you up. “But the point is, you didn’t complain. You’ve always been like that. Even now, being dragged on seven dates and having to deal with us figuring out our own feelings, you never once complained. You never backed away.”
           The sadness that lingers in Jin’s eyes has you tightening your hold, wondering how to get rid of that sorrow. Your train of thought is interrupted when Jin brushes back a strand of hair, softly tucking it behind your ear.
           “You are beautiful and a wonder. You will always be important to me, no matter where life takes us. You will always be that person that I’ll drop everything for, ok?” Jin takes another long, adoring look at you before reaching behind him and gathering your hands in his. He slowly pulls away from you, staring down at where he holds your hands. “I might be an idiot at times, but I can tell when I’m in the way.”
           As he takes a step back, you watch as he drops your hands. “Jin, wait,” you reach out, grasping his arm as he moves to turn away. “Jin- Seokjin, what’s going on-”
           “You and Yoongi have that in common, did you know that?” Jin offers you a close-lipped smile, placing his hand on yours where you cling to his jacket. His thumb swipes over your knuckles once – twice – before he’s stepping back yet again. “Neither of you are complainers. I mean sure, there’s the funny complaints that everyone makes. But he has a penchant for suffering silently. I’d say he’s a bit of a masochist, but that’d be a lie. He just cares.”
           Jin has made it to your doorway now, where he pauses and leans against the doorframe. He crosses his arms, eyebrows furrowed in deep thought, a faraway look in his eyes. “I think he doesn’t know what to do with it, all those feelings. He just cares so much, about everyone. For you.”
           “Jin,” you gasp out, “what are you doing?”
           One corner of his lips pull up in a smirk. “Me?” He shifts his weight to his other leg. “Letting go.”
           “What are you even talking about?”
           “Don’t get me wrong, I intend to complain. You’ll get an official complaint in the mail soon enough, just give it three to five business days to get here. But I realized something a little while ago: complainers always find some new to complain about. And while that sucks, it also means that they move on. They find something new, no matter how long it takes.”
           He keeps looking at you with that sad smile, and it’s ripping the ground out from under you. You want to scream, throw something, or perhaps dissolve into tears. But nothing happens. You just keep breathing.
           In.
           Then out.
           And Jin keeps speaking. He’s rambling now, something he does when he’s nervous. His brows are still furrowed, and you wonder if he’s making this up as he goes. If the only thing he knew what that he had to find a way in, only to find a way out.
           “As twisted as my logic sounds, I think it gives me hope. Eventually, I’ll be ok. Probably be complaining about the weather or maybe even a girl in no time. Just give me some time, and I’ll bounce back.”
           “Jin,” you croak out. “…you don’t complain, not about these things. Why are you doing this? S-stop doing this.”
           “But it’s like I said: Yoongi doesn’t complain. Jagiya, I know him. Better than you do.” Jin closes his eyes, pinching them shut before opening them again. “He’ll never get over you. I mean it. And if my logic holds true…that means that you’ll never move past him, either.”
           Folding his sweater over his arm, Jin steps back into the hallway. You step forward, your stomach churning.
           “Seokjin!”
           He hesitates for a single heartbeat, almost looking like he’ll turn back around and declare it all some twisted joke. Like he’ll pull you back into his arms and admit that he’s been inside his memories for the past two weeks, replaying “La Vie en Rose” as he lies awake at night.
           But he doesn’t. He refuses to look at you as he marches down the hallway. As he walks, he continues to speak.
           “I was angry that night, when you called him instead of me. When you accidentally deleted your essay. He left, and I was stuck at home, pining after you like some teenage boy. I think even then, I knew that it wouldn’t be me in the end. But I’d die trying.” He laughs, joking but it doesn’t come off very funny.
           It’s when he’s reached the door and goes to pull it open that you call out to him again, sounding like you’re on the verge of tears. “But it was you, wasn’t it?” You run a hand through your hair. “You wrote the note, o-on the back of the pact.”
           With his hand on the doorknob, Jin glances back at you over his shoulder. Now you understand why he couldn’t stand to look at you a moment earlier. Those are tears glistening in his eyes.
           He looks at you for a long moment, eyes so clear and bare that you can see the very moment he lays down his weapons and admits defeat. “Would it change anything?”
           He’s already twisting the doorknob, but just before he opens the door, he hesitates. Waiting for an answer, you realize. Some small part of him still pulses with hope, even after all he’s said.
           You can’t give that hope.
           “There’s a difference, you know,” Jin mumbles, eyes dropping. “Just because I loved you first doesn’t mean I can love you the best. I think sometimes the world forgets that.”
           And then he’s gone.
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           In.
           Out.
           Perhaps the most shocking development has been the fact that you’re still breathing. When Jin leaves your apartment, the sky doesn’t fall. Your heart, while aching, doesn’t shatter into a million little pieces. The quiet hum of your dishwasher continues on, oblivious to all that’s transpired.
           A few tears slip down your cheeks, which you quickly wipe away. When your dishwasher buzzes, you drift over to it as though in a daze. Wiping your hands on your dishtowel, you move to open the dishwasher.
           But it’s that dishtowel with stitched stars that Yoongi gifted you forever ago. Stars.
           You are the stars I’ve been reaching for ever since that night.
           Snatching the towel from where it hands off your oven, you fumble for your phone. Dishes long forgotten, you bring the phone up to your ear and nervously tap your foot. “C’mon, c’mon…”
           “Jagiya?”
           “Hobi!”
           “Hey, what’s up? How’s your ankle?”
           You chew on your lip, struggling to regain composure. “I- yeah. The ankle’s fine. Look, I need to cash in my question now.”
           Hobi chuckles on the other side of the phone. “That’s what I was afraid of. Wanna come over to the studio?”
           “Be there soon.”
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           It’s dark outside, countless stars winking down at you as you hurry inside the Hybe building. You throw a glare up at them, wondering if they were in on it the entire time. If the stars have always been aware that Min Yoongi had no interest in them, much preferring your company to the twinkling lights in the heavens.
It’s your first time in here, the boys having recently moved into the new building. As such, you’re instantly disoriented. At a loss for where to go, you call Hobi.
“Hey, where…?”
“Turn around!”
You whirl around to see the elevator doors sliding open, Hobi hopping out. “Hey, you made it!” He instantly pulls you in for a hug, which you gratefully receive. “Everything ok, jagi?”
It’s then that you realize how you must look. Tear-stained cheeks and tired eyes don’t make for the best combination. “Oh…yeah. I’m alright.”
Hobi doesn’t believe you at all, but he doesn’t push it. Not here, out in the open lobby. Instead he pulls you into the elevator, punching one of the buttons. “Long day?”
You laugh quietly, leaning up against the wall of the elevator. “A little, yeah. What about you? What are you up to?”
“Oh, we’re recording a new Japanese OST. Wanna listen to it once we get up there?”
“Is that even a question?”
It feels unbelievably good to be here with Hobi, falling into an easy conversation despite the nervousness coursing through your veins. Once you reach the eighth floor, Hobi leads you down the hallway toward a closed door.
“What’s that?” He asks, pointing to where you still hold the dishtowel in your hands.
You blink, not even realizing that you brought it in with you. “Oh…um…part of my question, I think?”
Hobi chuckles, pausing outside of the door. “I was wondering when you were gonna use that question.”
At the end of your date with Hobi two months ago, he’d allowed you two questions about whatever you wanted to know. You only asked one, wanting to keep the other for a future time. You never thought it would lead to this.
“Ok, let’s head inside.”
Your eyes widen, but Hobi doesn’t notice as he pushes the door open and strides inside. The sight that greets you makes you want to sink through the floor.
Namjoon and Jungkook sit in front of the recording equipment, while Taehyung and Jimin lounge on the couches at the back of the room. Yoongi is busy on the other side of the glass, eyes closed as he raps into the mic. His dark hair is straight, kissing his brows while he clenches his fists at his sides,
You’re frozen in place as suddenly you’re surrounded by his voice. It’s lilting, more like singing than rapping. The words coming from his mouth stop your heart.
“Don't have to be right, just wanted you to stay the way you are, kindhearted, always smiling, but-”
“Hey!” Taehyung jumps up from his seat, alerting everyone to your presence. “You’re here!”
Jungkook swivels around in his chair, wide eyes crinkling as he grins. Namjoon quietly greets you, cheeks pink as he struggles to focus on the task at hand.
It’s Jimin that notices how lost you look. “Everything alright?” He ambles over to you, bending his knees a bit to look at you. He grabs your shoulder, eyes scanning your face. “Jagiya? Want to sit down?”
But you’re still clinging to Hobi, one hand wrapped up in the fabric of his jacket. “I…actually, Hobi, weren’t you gonna show me your new studio?”
You look back at Hobi, aware that everyone in the room is now staring at him as well with confused looks. You give Hobi a pleading look, but not before you see someone on the other side of the glass.
Yoongi stands before the microphone, frowning as he looks at you. As you lock eyes, he tilts his head to one side and mouths a single word.
Jin?
“I…uh, yeah. Yeah, let’s go look at it first and then come right back, right?” Hobi says, the confusion clear in his voice. Thankfully, he doesn’t question you and instead steps back through the door. “Be right back, guys.”
Just before you walk away, you turn back to try to communicate to Yoongi that you’re here for him, not Jin. But he’s gone, the side door to the studio still swinging from where he walked out.
           Your head is still spinning by the time Hobi heads into his own studio, hardly pausing to admire it before he’s whipping around to face you. The second he closes the door, he’s crossing his arms and giving you a worried look.
           “What was that all about?” He asks. “What’s going on?”
           “Hobi,” you croak out. “Hobi, I need help. I need answers.”
           Plopping down on his cushiony swivel chair, you squint at him. You can feel a headache coming on.
           “I can’t give you the answers if you don’t ask the questions, jagi,” Hobi chides, pulling up another chair to sit in front of you. His gaze catches on your wrist. “You still wear the bracelet I made you?”
           You pause, glancing down at the bracelet. “Of course. Everyday.”
           Hobi smiles softly to himself before leaning back and letting out a long sigh. “Ok. Tell me what’s going on.” He eyes the star-spangled dishtowel still in your hands. “I assume this is about Yoongi?”
           “I…how did you know?”
           He nods to the towel, chuckling softly. “He came to me asking if I knew how to embroider. I didn’t, but I got him a little embroidery kit to practice with on tour. It cracked me up when he ended up buying plain white dishtowels and would spend his time backstage embroidering little stars on them. I didn’t know he was planning on giving them to you at the time…do you guys have some sort of inside jokes with stars or something?”
           You stare at Hobi like he’s just grown a second head. “He what?”
           “What?” Hobi blinks. “Did you not know that he stitched them?”
           Of course not. When Yoongi had gifted you the dishtowels, you’d thought it was sweet, if a bit odd. You even remember joking with him about it, saying that he’d paid off the neighborhood grandma to do it for him.
           “No! I never knew that! Why would I…why would he…”
           “So…you don’t have an inside joke about stars?”
           You sigh, throwing a hand over your eyes. “How could I be so blind?” Slumping down in the chair you ask miserably, “I mean, it makes sense, I guess…he’s done so many things-”
           At this, Hobi stops you. “Like what?”
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           There is a long, long list of things that Yoongi did for you that he never told the boys.
           “Or there’s that time he passed up on his Laker’s tickets because I had that end-of-year project due, and I was worried that nobody would show up to my presentation.”
           You remember that with a jolt. You had to give a twenty minute presentation on the effects of addiction, something that hardly seemed like a riveting topic. The general public was invited to the lecture hall, but despite your valiant efforts handing out fliers and sending e-vites, you were convinced that it was going to be a flop.
           It was. There were about seventeen people scattered about the hall that typically seated three hundred. Your hands were shaking and you thought you might burst into tears on stage because you felt like an utter failure, but then movement caught your eyes.
           Sneaking in and taking a seat on the very back row, sat Yoongi. His bucket hat was pulled low across his eyes and a couple of body guards tried (and failed) to looked inconspicuous as they took seats near him. When you stuttered, he help up a thumbs up and quietly encouraged you to go on.
           Jin’s words from earlier come back to you. I think he doesn’t know what to do with it, all those feelings. He just cares so much, about everyone. For you.
           By this point, you’re exhausted with all of the things Yoongi has done over the years. How blind you’ve been to his unadulterated kindness. Hobi senses it, seeing your shoulders droop. He falls silent, allowing you to sort out your thoughts before you speak.
           “Does he still want me?”
           Looking up at Hobi, you allow yourself to feel the question at you repeat it. “How could he still want me? After how blind I’ve been to my own feelings?”
           Hobi smiles softly, leaning forward to take your hand in his. He gives it a reassuring squeeze. “Jagi…I don’t think Yoongi completely understood his own feelings most of the time.”
           “But he’s done so much-”
           “That he has. But when you love someone, you don’t do those kinds of things for gain. He didn’t do those things to make you fall in love with him.” Hobi laughs to himself, shaking his head in disbelief. “He did it because you’re the right person. And when you’re with the right person, it’s simple. Does he still want you? Simple.” He shrugs. “Yes.”
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           Yoongi is gone, Jungkook tells you when the boys eventually come knocking at Hobi’s studio. They sit in a semi-circle, pondering all that they’ve learned. Hobi had quickly explained the situation to them, and despite your worry, nothing happened.
           Nobody yelled, nobody banished you from their life.
           Instead, Jimin had laughed. Laughed.
           “Pay up, loser,” he’d commanded as he elbowed Taehyung. Taehyung whined and said that he’d Venmo him in a second.
           “Wait, you made a bet?” You shriek. “About who I’d go for?!”
           The boys all laugh nervously, Namjoon slowly edging toward the door. You snap your fingers at him, glaring. “You don’t get to leave, Kim. Were you a part of this?”
           “I…yeah…”
           “But Yoongi’s gone,” Jungkook repeats. “Aren’t you gonna tell him?”
           You sigh. “How am I supposed to tell him? Just march up to him and throw myself at him?”
           Namjoon shrugs. “I mean, that’d work for me.”
           “Yeah,” Jungkook chuckles darkly. “Just go for that.”
           Hobi rolls his eyes, leaning forward in his seat. “Just do whatever you feel comfortable with, jagiya. But do it soon. You’ll psych yourself out if you wait much longer.”
           It feels like you’ve time-traveled back to middle school, gossiping around the lunch table about your crush. Somehow, that’s comforting. While there’s a bit of awkwardness in the air, you can’t help but feel like you’re back.
           “Oh,” Taehyung snaps his fingers, mouth open in a little ‘o’, “but whatever you do, make sure there’s cookies. Or some sort of dessert.”
           “What?”
           “You know, to celebrate if he accepts your confession, or to make you feel better if he rejects you.”
           Gasping, you jump up to your feet. You point an accusing finger at Hobi. “But you said that he’d still want me!”
           “He does! Taehyung, take that back right now.”
           Tae stands up, his grin softening as he steps forward. That’s when you see how much they’ve been hiding behind their playful demeanors. For you. To help you.
           Wrapping you up in a hug, Taehyung squeezes you tight. “It’ll be fine. Don’t you worry.” And then, quieter so no one else can hear, “We’ll be fine.”
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           You’ve never considered yourself to be a nervous baker, but here you are. Sliding another cookie sheet into the oven while two batches are cooling on your kitchen table.
           By the time you made it home last night, you could hardly keep your eyes open. While sleep did come to you relatively quickly, you were wide awake the second the sun crested the horizon. Wide awake, and a nervous wreck.
           Is this how the boys felt when they came to take you out? If so, they deserve a medal of bravery. You’re still within the comfort of your own home, but you can hardly breathe properly.
           Perhaps that has something to do with the fact that Yoongi just sent you a text that he’s on his way. Bouncing on your feet, you run your hands under the cold water in an effort to rid yourself of clammy palms. Drying your hands on the infamous dishtowel, you smile softly.
           Everything is going to be ok.
           Yoongi doesn’t get there for a long time. It’s long enough that you’re worried, and you pick up your phone to call him. A second later, you hear another phone ringing just outside your door. Hardly believing it, you rush toward the front door only to pause.
           “Here we go.”
           Swinging the door open, you come face to face with a guilty looking Yoongi. He’s halfway back down the stairs, but freezes in his steps as he hears the door open.
           “Yoongi?” You’re absolutely bewildered. “Where are you going?”
           Letting out a breathy laugh, Yoongi slowly begins trekking back up the stairs. “Oh…um…I thought I left something in the car.”
           “That’s a lie, isn’t it?”
           “What, are we not lying to each other today?”
           Smiling softly, you shake your head and open the door a little wider. “No. Not today, I’m afraid.”
           Something akin to fear flashes in Yoongi’s eyes at your words, but a second later he’s back to normal. “Smells great. Are you baking cookies?”
           “I’ve baked about a thousand, yeah. Can’t stop. It’s a condition.” You ramble as you turn and head into the kitchen, hoping that he’s following. The sound of his footsteps confirms that he is. “Want some?”
           When he doesn’t answer, you turn around to see what’s going on.
           Yoongi stands beside your table, fists clenched in the sleeves of his cardigan. He’s practically staring holes into the sweet treats, brows furrowed as he takes a deep breath. When he exhales, it’s shaky.
           “I’m fine, you know,” he grinds out, not looking at you. “You didn’t need to bake me cookies. I’m not…I’m not mad.”
           “Mad? What?”
           “Isn’t this why you brought me over? To let me down easy?” His voice is quiet, yet every word is like a bullet. “That’s why you were at the studio last night, wasn’t it? You were talking to the others about Jin.”
           Your heart stops.
           Is that why he disappeared last night? He thought that you’d made your decision, and it wasn’t him?
           “Yoongi, that’s not-”
           He’s already stepping back, refusing to look at you. His eyes are trained on the floor as he stumbles back toward the entryway, looking like he’s doing his best not to full out sprint. “I’m fine, jagiya. I know you’re worried sick about us, but don’t worry. I already told you not to worry, don’t you remember? I shouldn’t have said all of those stupid things on the beach…is that why you brought me over? You felt like I needed some sort of special treatment?”
           You take off after him, unable to believe what you’re hearing. “Yoongi, listen to me. This is for you. It’s all for you.”
           But he doesn’t hear you, he’s busy fumbling with his shoes that he slipped off beside the door. His hands are shaking, but he still refuses to look at you. “I’m so sorry for worrying you,” he says earnestly. His black hair is falling in his eyes, but it doesn’t shield his pink cheeks from your eyes. “I…wow, this is humiliating, isn’t it? I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come-“
           “I invited you-”
           “-but I didn’t want to worry you even more, so I came over – why can’t I get these shoes on?!” He collapses to his knees, dropping his head into his hands as he finally gives up on his shoes. “Even that was a stupid mistake,” he whispers, never one to raise his voice. “I bought these for our date but then I realized that they would be stupid to wear to the beach.” He laughs at himself, no humor in the sound.
           You take a look at the dark shoes, which appear to be made of leather. They lace up, but it’s obvious that they’re not broken in yet. Crouching down beside Yoongi, who keeps his face hidden in his hands, you struggle to find words.
           “They look nice,” you mumble, voice raw. Have you been screaming? Or perhaps it’s the emotional exhaustion, finally setting in. “Very pretty.”
           “I wanted to wear them for you. Just once.” Taking a deep breath, Yoongi sits back and brings his knees up to his chest. He back presses against the back of your couch.
           And you’re here. Sitting beside him in the entryway to your small apartment. So far away from where you thought you’d be.
           As Yoongi glares at his shoes, you notice just how bloodshot his eyes are. Like he hasn’t slept in days.
           “Isn’t it odd?” He muses, tired eyes dragging over to meet yours. You’re unable to breathe as he stares at you without the barriers he usually puts up for himself. For the first time you can ever remember, Yoongi looks at you and lets you see everything. Perhaps he’s too tired to mask the longing anymore.
           Your voice comes out as nothing more than a whisper. “What’s odd?”
           He inhales sharply before breathing out slowly. “After everything, I’m still trying to impress you.”
           The small confession strikes you like a bolt of lightning, and you screw your eyes shut. Once the feeling passes and you’ve composed yourself, you open your eyes again to find Yoongi’s again on his shoes. He nibbles on his bottom lip as he reaches out and eases his shoe from your hands. Then, he slips it on his foot.
           As he begins to tie the laces, you open your mouth to say all of the things you should have a long time ago.
           “I see you everywhere I go.” Your eyes are trained on his deft fingers as he pauses for a moment before continuing to lace up his shoe. “For a long time, I didn’t know what to do about it. I just brushed it off as a side effect of our friendship. In my mind, it was better to ignore it than to face it, because then what? I could never have you.”
           His hands are trembling again as he finishes his right shoe and reaches for the left.
           “You’ve always been so good. There whenever I needed you, there just in the off-chance I called. On stand-by, like my own personal assistant.” You chuckle, perhaps a little insane by this point. “And I convinced myself that whatever that was between us, it was enough. It was just gonna be me and my seven best friends for the rest of my life. But then…things started to change. You guys challenged me to view you as something more.”
           He’s nearly finished tying his shoe now, your time is nearly out. But he fumbles, unable to quite finish.
           “That night you guys came up with the dating idea, I knew I was walking into a trap. I wasn’t worried about anyone crossing any boundaries, I was worried about me making the biggest mistake of my life. Sitting there I think I was starting to realize I had feelings for you, and I was one slip-up away from hurting everyone else.”  Now he stops breathing. But his fingers are still slowly working at the laces. “I cared for you then, but I loved you when you showed up at my door seven dates later.”
           He’s just managed to finish tying his shoe when you stop speaking. He doesn’t speak, only staring down at those laces with wide eyes as he processes what you just said. You take his silence in stride, still talking. Still confessing.
           “I didn’t know how to tell you that I was torn between the what-if’s and the what-is. That I was drowning in the possibilities everyone was offering me, but that when I was with you I was finally able to see the world for what it is. But you just said, ‘I know’ and I thought that you did. I figured you knew, because you’re you, how could you not know what I was thinking? You always do.”
           Yoongi stops nibbling on his lip long enough to voice a question, his voice hoarse. “The world for what it is…what is it?”
           You take courage in his curiosity, deeming this a good development. “It’s only tolerable because you’re in it.”
           He falls silent again, deep in his thoughts.
           “Yoongi,” you call softly, heart hammering against you ribs. “Could you look at me for a second?”
           He does, eyes wide with confusion.
           Those eyes, the ones you see everywhere you go. Crinkled up in laughter, joking with you over something stupid. Proudly watching you from the back row as you present to a small crowd. Filled with adventure as you sneak your hand into his pocket at the haunted house, inviting you to dive inside.
           It was those eyes that you saw looking back at you that night with Jungkook, out of breath and lost as suddenly it wasn’t Jungkook kissing you, but Yoongi. That forbidden dream become real as you squeezed your eyes shut and allowed yourself to pretend for a moment longer before pulling away.
           It’s now, looking into Yoongi’s dark eyes that hold so much promise, that you find it easier than ever to say what you should have said that night when he showed up to help you with your essay. Looking frazzled but ready to swim the entire ocean if it would help you. Instead, you had just given him a lingering hug before excusing yourself to go to your room and sleep.
           Sleep hadn’t found you that night, because you had been awake and asking your ceiling why a man like Min Yoongi would do anything for you.
           “Yoongi,” you whisper. “I love you.”
           He doesn’t move, but just blinks. Once. Twice. You see the doubt swirling in his eyes, so when you reach out to pull at his shoelace, you repeat it.
           “I love you.”
           One shoe at a time, you untie the laces. You undo the pain you’ve caused him, break down the barriers he put up.
           “I love you.”
           You continue to repeat the words, focusing on his shoes and not daring to look up at him just yet. Not until you get his shoes off, because then you feel like he can’t run away.
           So you undo the knots and repeat those words with a shaking voice. “I love you, Yoongs.” When you go to slip the shoes from his feet, he helps you, kicking them off and reaching forward to place his hand under your chin and make you look at him.
           Yoongi is crying when you look at him, the tears falling silently. A part of you wonders if he even realizes that he’s crying.
           “You…” he swallows, those eyes so wide. “…love me?”
           It’s simple.
           “Yes.”
           Yoongi furrows his brows again, trying to understand everything that’s happening. “But…Jin.”
           There will be time to explain everything. For now, you answer the question Jin asked you yesterday, standing before this very door. “The pact, the note. It doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t change how I feel. He came over yesterday to ‘let go’, he said.”
           Something like recognition flashes across Yoongi’s face at those two words, but he doesn’t say anything. Instead he nods slowly, trying to follow what you’re saying. “And you feel…”
           “I feel very in love with you, yes.”
           What happens next is burned into your memory for the rest of your life.
           Yoongi sits up, reaching across to you in a flash, pulling you until you’re falling forward. He lets out a shaky breath, pulling you into his lap just like he did on the beach. And as he holds you, he laughs. He’s still laughing as he plants a soft kiss to your forehead. He’s grinning as he presses his lips to your cheeks.
           Tears are still falling down his cheeks as he brushes his lips against your own. Hesitantly, as though worried you might pull away and tell him it was all a joke.
You return the kiss fervently, speaking in a language only you two can understand. He pulls away, staring down at you as though surprised to find that you’re really here and not just a figment of his imagination.
“I love you,” he whispers. And then he’s kissing you in earnest.
Breathlessly, desperately, and with a touch of insanity that only comes after spending two nights wide awake and heartbroken. As he holds you tight and kisses you harder, you know that he’s healing himself with each touch.
           One kiss, one shattered fragment of his heart sliding back into place.
           Your hands wrap around his neck and wind into his hair, pulling him impossibly closer as he gasps and whispers those three words again. “I love you.”
           When the smell of burnt cookies pulls you apart several minutes later, Yoongi wraps his arms around your waist and sticks to you like glue. He rests his chin on your shoulder, planting a few lazy kisses along your jaw that sets your skin aflame. “Mm, I love you,” he mumbles between kisses.
           Placing the burnt cooking atop the stove, you chuckle. “I know.”
           “Agh,” Yoongi groans, burying his head in your shoulder. “I thought you meant something different, ok?”
           “I know.”
           “Yah! I was trying to be understanding of your feelings I thought you had for Jin!”
           Reaching to turn off the oven, you grin. “I’m never letting you live that down.”
           As Yoongi feigns annoyance while shoveling cookies into his mouth, you marvel at all it took to get to this point. Yoongi notices your attention, puffy cheeks turning pink. But he doesn’t shy away, instead he silently offers you a cookie.
           “So…” he begins, a smirk playing on his lips. “I’ve been thinking.”
           “Dangerous.”
           “Well, I know how much you like bad boys.”
           “Mm, true.”
           Yoongi laughs along with you before continuing. His eyes sparkle like the night sky, drawing you in. “Are you free this Saturday?”
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339 notes · View notes
full-of-jams · 4 years
Text
Tangsuyuk Love
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Pairing: Jungkook x Reader
Summary: College student Jungkook passes cute notes with a customer who always orders take-out tangsuyuk at his part-time job. Meanwhile he’s trying not to miserably fail his Math class, while hiding his ever-growing crush on you.
Genre: college au, f2l, fluff, smut, one shot, did I mention FLUFF?
Warnings: mild swearing, sexual content, hold your heart palpitations!
Word Count: 11.5k
A/N: I wanted to write something light and sweet before I continued with Good Riddance. It will be easy, she said. It will be fun, she said. It will be quick, she said. Ha. haha. ha. ha. Ignore my pain. Enjoy!
°°°°°°°
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[09/04 18:34 PM] User: LatteIsHorse ---------------- ORDER [DELIVERY] 1 Tangsuyuk (large) 1 Jjamppong 2 Kimchi Mandu ---------------- Note: Without pineapple! Please make the jjamppong extra spicy, my boyfriend just broke up with me T-T
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Golden Bang 7 Wausan-ro 29-gil, Seogyo-dong
Server: JK ------------------- TO GO
1 Tangsuyuk (large) -- 20,000 1 Jjamppong -- 5,000 2 Kimchi Mandu -- 6,000 1 Soju -- 0
Total: 31,000 -------------------- Thanks for ordering at Golden Bang! Have a golden day!
Note: Service! Nothing’s better than the fresh taste of soju to lighten a heavy heart :) Cheer up LatteIsHorse-Nim!
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Paper Note: JK-nim, thanks for the soju. It sweetened my bitter night. This is Tokki, please give him a loving new home! TT-TT
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Jungkook was fucking terrified of you. If it weren’t for the fact that he was close to failing Statistical Analysis, he would’ve considered faking a stomach flu and making a beeline straight out of the library.
“If you have a box containing 3 white, 4 red and 5 black balls what is the probability that you will draw a white ball on your first draw and a black ball on your second draw?” you asked again through gritted teeth.
You looked up at Jungkook and were met by an empty stare. Usually you enjoyed tutoring your fellow classmate. He was a smart and funny guy, maybe a bit awkward at times, but always trying his best. Today every little thing grated on your nerves. It took you every ounce of energy to get out of bed and look like a presentable human being this morning. You really didn’t want to sit here for another hour if the boy was just going to stare at you like a petrified statue. “It’s really not that difficult. You just have to apply conditional probability.”
Jungkook let out a frustrated huff and pulled at his hair, “I really don’t know, this doesn’t make any sense! Why do I even need this stuff for my major? Who cares if I pull out a white ball or a black ball first? It’s not like I’m planning on becoming Houdini!”
Sometimes you pitied him, but who on Earth had an irrational fear of Gauss distributions and probability?! They were beautiful, harmless, abstract concepts of life. Your sympathy was muffled by a thrumming headache. All the late-night crying already had you chugging water and slapping ice cubes on your face at breakfast. Right now you just wanted to go home, change into your pjs, order some tangsuyuk and binge watch Boys Over Flowers. The cringy acting and Go Jun Pyo’s luscious locks were the only things that made your miserable life feel a bit less pathetic at the moment. “Jungkook, we went over this last time. Just apply the damn formula,” you snapped.
“Why are you being so scary today?” he asked wide-eyed and apprehensive.
You took a deep breath, rubbed your temples and tried to calm your inner turmoil. It wasn’t his fault; you were just in a really shitty mood. “I’m sorry. It’s not my day today. Is it okay if we rain check? I promise I’ll make it up to you next week.”
Jungkook wasn’t used to seeing you this distraught. He wracked his brain on how to lift your spirit. “Hey, do you want to hear this math joke my friend Jin told me the other day? What do you call an angle that is adorable?”
The boy scrunched his nose adorably and waited for your response. He was really handsome, you noticed that back when you two first met. Back then you just didn’t have a reason to care. Back then you still had a boyfriend.
“I don’t know, tell me,” you answered.
“Acute angle!” he said with a timid smile.
Despite your foul mood you had to snort at his joke.
Jungkook’s smile grew wider. It wasn’t a full laugh, but at least your frown disappeared. He discovered early on that you had a soft spot for bad math puns.
Although he absolutely detested Statistical Analysis, he has come to enjoy your study sessions over the past couple of weeks. The TA of his class, Namjoon, was a close friend of Jungkook’s and a sunbae of yours. Once he discovered that his favorite dongsaeng was abysmal at reading a z-score table, he immediately referred him to you.
At first Jungkook was very reluctant to accept any help. He was a mechanical engineer for fuck’s sake! He calculated distributed load across uneven surfaces and directional derivatives all the time!
His inner protests died down during your first session when you unwittingly asked him if he was constipated while he tried to calculate the standard deviation. During your second session he noticed you liked to doodle small geometric and fractal comics on his work sheets whenever he was solving a problem.
‘What did the triangle say to the circle?’ ‘You’re pointless!’
By the time your third session rolled around he still hated statistics, but it was too late and he’d developed a hopeless crush on you. Your monologues about dead mathematicians and the beauty of an infinite series were oddly captivating. He didn’t think he’d ever met anyone who was so passionate and animated about anything in all his life.
“Is everything okay?” Jungkook asked carefully. You seemed tired and a bit wary. “I-I mean, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t feel like it. Sorry, it’s none of my business,” he immediately added.
You smiled at his flustered state. Jungkook’s heart stumbled when your smile turned sad and you said, “No not really, but I’m sure I’ll be fine sooner or later.”
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[13/04 19:12 PM] User: LatteIsHorse ---------------- ORDER [DELIVERY]
1 Tangsuyuk (large) 1 Jjajangmyeon 1 Jjajangbap ---------------- Note: JK-nim! Omg your tangsuyuk is the best! I could drown in that sauce! How is Tokki doing?
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Golden Bang 7 Wausan-ro 29-gil, Seogyo-dong
Server: JK ------------------- TO GO
1 Tangsuyuk (large) -- 20,000 1 Jjajangmyeon -- 4,500 1 Jjajangbap -- 5,500
Total: 30,000 -------------------- Thanks for ordering at Golden Bang! Have a golden day!
Note: LatteIsHorse-nim! Little Tokki is doing well and bravely guarding our store! Don’t drown, but here’s some extra sauce for you to enjoy. I asked for it to be without pineapple. Hwaiting!
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“Yah! Why does it smell like rotten take-out in your bedroom?” Jisoo asked.
Scowling has become your new go-to expression. “Too soon. Just let me wallow in my self-pity and sorrow.”
If you didn’t know any better you would’ve thought your friend was playing ‘The Floor Is Lava’ considering how gingerly she walked across your room. Safely on the other side, she ripped open a window to let some much needed fresh air in. 
“I think you’re going to be wallowing in mold and fungus instead,” Jisoo commented with disgust. “Wallow all you want, I’m here to support you, girl. But I can’t allow you to turn your place into a biohazard zone. Isn’t your sister bothered by this?”
“My sister doesn’t care; our rooms are off limits to each other. As long as we both keep the common area clean, she won’t complain,” you said.
Jisoo sat down on your bed and patted the empty spot next to her. She immediately retracted her hand. “Eww, is that tangsuyuk sauce on your sheets?” she asked, completely appalled.
You shrugged and thumped onto your bed.
“So what are your plans for tonight?” she asked, trying to suppress a shudder.
“It’s Monday night. What plans could I possibly have?”
“We’re in college! Weekdays, weekends, they’re all the same!” your friend exclaimed. She looked at your sprawled-out figure. “I told you from the very beginning he wasn’t good for you. I know it doesn’t feel like this right now, but you’re lucky he’s out of your life. I really can’t watch you torture yourself over a jerk like him. Let’s go out to Hongdae!”
“I can’t go out. I already have plans.”
“Didn’t you just say you didn’t have any plans?”
“I lied. I have a date.”
Jisoo paused for a second, unsure how to respond. “Really? With whom?”
“Gong Yoo. We promised to kiss each other on first snowfall,” you responded listlessly.
“Yah!” Jisoo yelled and smacked your butt.
“Oww! What was that for?” you cried in surprise, rubbing the tender spot.
“Re-watching Goblin is not a date! You scared me for a second,” Jisoo said.
“How is it not a date? I meet a hot oppa, multiple hot oppas, we have dinner together, I giggle and blush and at the end of the night I get kissed to sleep.” You sat up and gave your friend a weary look. “I really don’t want to go out right now, but also don’t want to be on my own. Can’t we just stay in and watch a drama?” you asked with the saddest face you could muster.
Jisoo wanted to argue, but she couldn’t resist your pout. “Fine. But first you change your bedsheets, I’m not gonna sit in moldy tangsuyuk sauce all night. And I get to choose the drama.”
“Call!”
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[16/04 17:58 PM] User: LatteIsHorse ---------------- ORDER [DELIVERY]
1 Tangsuyuk (small) 1 Kimchi Kimbap 1 Beef Kimbap  ---------------- Note: JK-nim thanks for the extra sauce! It was delicious. Are you a dipper or a pourer?
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Golden Bang 7 Wausan-ro 29-gil, Seogyo-dong
Server: JK ------------------- TO GO
1 Tangsuyuk (small) -- 13,000 1 Kimchi Kimbap -- 2,500 1 Beef Kimbap -- 2,500 1 Soup -- 0
Total: 18,000 -------------------- Thanks for ordering at Golden Bang! Have a golden day!
Note: LatteIsHorse-nim! Personally, I’m a dipper, but I don’t discriminate! I added some broth as service for you. It’s chilly tonight. Don’t catch a cold!
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Paper Note: JK-nim, let’s be friends? I’m also a dipper! Did you know that butterflies can’t fly when they’re cold? Here is one that I folded, sending back my warmest thoughts to you on this frosty spring night.
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The first thing that caught your eye was Jungkook who was patiently waiting at the library entrance. Despite the steaming goods in his hands, his entire body was shivering. The temperature suddenly dropped last night, but he couldn’t be bothered to dig up his padded jacket when he left the house this morning.
Before you could even greet him, he shoved a hot milk tea towards you and mumbled, “Here, it’s cold today so I thought you could use something warm.”
You were surprised by this sweet gesture. “Thanks,” you reached for it and examined the drink in your hand, ”How did you know I like black milk tea?”
He ducked his head and mumbled something into himself.
“Sorry, what did you say?”
Jungkook lifted his head. His cheeks and nose were a lovely wash of pink from the cold. “You mentioned once that you’re an OG milk tea drinker, so I just guessed” he repeated again, louder. “I saw this bungeoppang cart on the way here. We can share them while studying?” he said, holding up a small paper bag.
Your heart warmed and for the first time in weeks your face split into big smile, “Sure, I love bungeoppang! We’re not allowed to eat inside the library. So how about we eat everything first before they get cold and then go in?”
The both of you took a seat on a bench. By now Jungkook definitely regretted being too lazy to find his jacket this morning, but he was determined not to let it show. He passed the bag full of bungeoppangs to you.
You happily reached for one of the fish-shaped pastries and started munching on it. Your face crinkled, steam came out of your mouth. Jungkook’s heart skipped as he watched you in fascination. Your cheeks were flushed. A sudden instinct to stroke your rosy skin overcame him. Instead he reached for a bungeoppang and took a careful bite. “Are you feeling better today?”
“A little bit,” you said between bites, “I’m really sorry about last time. I feel bad now. I ditched you and now you’re treating me to snacks.” You went on and stabbed your straw through your milk tea. “I should be the one treating you instead.”
“I like to treat you,” Jungkook said, mesmerized by the way your lips moved against the straw. He suddenly realized what he was doing and cleared his throat, “A happy teacher is a good teacher! You’re already spending your time tutoring me.”
A laugh slipped out of you, “Jungkook, you’re paying me for your lessons. But it’s okay, this bungeoppang and tea definitely hits the spot, so I’ll accept it with a grateful heart. What are you drinking?”
Jungkook looked down on his drink and gave it a shake, the black pearls swirled around buoyantly. “Banana milk tea, I prefer sweet drinks.”
You leaned back against the bench and looked up at the clear blue sky. “Sweet things are the best combat against the bitter taste of life,” you sighed. You closed your eyes and soaked in the crisp air. Jungkook felt your melancholy, he could warm your body, but he didn’t know how to warm your heart.  
“Sorry that I’m bothering you with my personal stuff. It’s just that I had a really bad breakup recently. I shouldn’t let it affect our lessons,” you said with a wistful smile as you lifted your head again.
The boy next to you remained silent. You turned and saw a contemplative look on his face. “It’s alright, everyone can have a bad day,” he finally said, “You don’t have to pretend to be okay when you’re not. If you’re never angry or sad, you won’t know when you’re happy.”
His words stunned you. Has Jungkook always been this thoughtful? You turned away from his gaze and looked down at the pastry in your hand. “They’re rhombus shaped,” you muttered in an attempt of distraction and showed your bungeoppang to Jungkook. “The fish scales,” you added when he looked confused.
“Ah yeah, the scales. It’s actually erroneous since most of the bungeoppangs depict a ganoid scale structure when in fact carps have cycloid scales to allow for a greater flexibility,” Jungkook explained.
A blank look appeared on your face. Probably the same blank look he had whenever you tried to explain the Bayes’ theorem to him. He let out an awkward laugh, “We studied the mechanics of fish scale structures in Material Science. You can correlate the flexibility of a scaled surface depending on its underlying geometric structure and material. It’s pretty cool stuff.”
“I can’t believe you can geek out about the geometry of fish scales, but don’t know how to define your probability population,” you snorted in disbelief. 
“Hey, when will I ever need to calculate the probability of two people with the same birthday in a room? I just have a hard time learning stuff I never have to apply,” he said defensively.
Then you suddenly had an idea. “Tell you what, how about this? If you pass your statistics final, I’ll treat you to the best Chinese take-out in town! You can order whatever you want!”
Jungkook didn’t want to dampen your excitement by telling you that his part-time job already allowed him to eat as much Chinese take-out as he wanted. “Okay, but don’t complain when you go broke. My record was five jjajangmyeon and two tangsuyuk in one sitting.”
You batted away his challenge. “First you have to pass your finals,” you teased.
“I’ll pass,” Jungkook said.
You smiled at his cute determination. “Then it’s a date.”
Jungkook beamed back at you. “It’s a date.”
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[05/05 18:21 PM] User: LatteIsHorse ---------------- ORDER [DELIVERY]
1 Tangsuyuk (large) 2 Pork Mandu 1 Tteokkguk 1 Jjajangmyeon 1 Tteokkbokki ---------------- Note: No pineapple plz. JK-nim! Happy Children’s Day! For this special occasion I’ve decided to order all of my childhood favorites. Life is too short to eat bad food. I hope today you treat yourself to something delicious as well!
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“Yah! JK! Your girlfriend placed an order again!” Yugyeom yelled across the store.
A mop of black hair peaked out from the back of the shop. “She’s not my girlfriend, she’s just a regular,” Jungkook yelled back.
“A regular you flirt with,” Yugyeom snickered, “I saw all the notes you left her in the system. ‘Don’t catch a cold!’, ‘Hwaiting!’ Don’t tell me that’s not your lame attempt at flirting.”
Suddenly an angry Yoongi stomped out of the kitchen. “Keep it down boys, we have guests here.”
Jungkook went up to the register and printed out the online order. “Hyung, can you make a large tangsuyuk without pineapple?”
“It’s a national holiday, there’s like two people here tonight,” Yugyeom muttered under his breath.
“What did you say, Yugyeom?”
“Nothing, hyung!”
Yoongi snatched the order out of Jungkook’s hand and gave both boys another irritated glance before he headed back into the kitchen.
“Hey JK,” Yugyeom said in a lower voice as he moved next to his friend, “aren’t you ever curious how LatteIsHorse is like? I mean, she must have some sense of humor judging by her username.”
“Sometimes. Don’t you ever wonder how our regulars are like? But it’s not like I’m ever gonna meet them or know it’s them when they come into the store,” Jungkook said with a shrug.
“You could though. Mingyu’s out on delivery, Eunwoo’s off so we have a free bike. The store is dead tonight. You could go deliver the order and have a look,” Yugyeom spurred him on.
Jungkook considered his friend’s suggestion. Every time he opened his locker a little origami bunny and butterfly stared back at him and brightened his day. It was true, he was curious how LatteIsHorse was like. “Okay I’ll go, but don’t pretend you’re doing me a favor. You just don’t want to do delivery tonight.”
<Ding Dong>
A pretty girl in a Yonsei hoodie and shorts opened the door. She somehow looked familiar, but Jungkook couldn’t place from where. Maybe he met her on campus before.
“Delivery from Golden Bang,” Jungkook said, holding up his metal box.
“Ah great! I’m starving!” the girl said.
Jungkook started unloading the box and handed the dishes to the girl. Once he was done, he lingered awkwardly in the doorway. The girl gave him a curious look, clearly wondering why he wasn’t leaving. Jungkook gathered his courage and said, “I’m JK by the way.”
What followed was a beat of silence. Jungkook could feel his ears burn.
“Err, it’s nice to meet you, I guess? Is there anything else you need?” the girl asked after the painful pause. “Ah got it! Just a sec!” She ran into the apartment and came back with her wallet. “Here’s a tip, we’ll put the dishes back outside for pick up,” she said as she scrunched a bill into Jungkook’s hand, “Thanks for your hard work. Happy holiday!” And then she shut the door right into his face.
What just happened? Jungkook was stupefied. After an eternity he finally moved and mechanically pulled out his phone. He checked the delivery order on his app. LatteIsHorse – this was the address. She didn’t recognize him. Why was he so naive to believe that she would remember him? All he wanted in that moment was for the ground to open and swallow him up.
“Dinner’s here,” your sister said as you came out of the shower. “Did you order banana milk?”
“No? Why?” you joined her at the dinner table and started rummaging through the dishes. “Where’s the receipt?”
“I threw it in the trash,” she said. When she saw you opening up the trash can and fishing for it, she added, “Gross! What are you doing? Why do you need it?”
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Golden Bang 7 Wausan-ro 29-gil, Seogyo-dong
Server: JK ------------------- TO GO
1 Tangsuyuk (large) -- 20,000 2 Pork Mandu -- 6,000 1 Tteokkguk -- 4,500 1 Jjajangmyeon -- 4,500 1 Tteokkbokki -- 3,000
Total: 38,000 -------------------- Thanks for ordering at Golden Bang! Have a golden day!
Note: LatteIsHorse-nim! Happy Children’s Day to you too! I added my favorite childhood drink, banana milk! I hope it brings back as many happy childhood memories for you as it does for me.
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There, sitting on the table, was a small bottle of banana milk. A smile spread across your face. “I need to file it away for tax purposes.”
Your sister looked at you like you were crazy. “Let’s eat already, I’m starving. Wash your hands.”
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[14/05 16:55 PM] User: LatteIsHorse ---------------- ORDER [TAKE AWAY]
1 Tangsuyuk (small) 1 Jjajangbap ---------------- Note: JK-nim, hope you’re doing well. I’m in the area today, so I thought I’d stop by and say hello in person! Is it weird that I feel a bit nervous?
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The restaurant door wasn’t going to open itself. The past 15 minutes of you standing in front of it has proven that. You had some errands to run in Hongdae after school and decided on a whim to place a pickup order at your favorite take-out place. 
Why was it so difficult to enter a restaurant? If you steeled your nerves any more, they’d probably break from how brittle they’ve become. You just had to open that damn door.
Sometimes you wondered if you liked that place more because of its great tangsuyuk or because of JK’s little notes which always managed to put a smile on your face.
One thing was for sure, you weren’t stalling because of the tangsuyuk.
“Welcome to Golden Bang!” a bright male voice rang across the restaurant as you passed through the door.
You walked up to the register and sneaked a peek at the boy’s name tag, ‘Yugyeom’. You felt a slight twinge of disappointment.
“I’m here to pick up my order? LatteIsHorse?” you asked tentatively.
A sign of recognition flashed across Yugyeom’s face. “Of course, your order’s ready! I’ll just bag it up for you,” he said cheerfully. He walked away and quickly came back with a white plastic bag full of food. Then he printed out your receipt and handed both to you.
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Golden Bang 7 Wausan-ro 29-gil, Seogyo-dong
Server: YG ------------------- TO GO
1 Tangsuyuk (small) -- 13,000 1 Jjajangbap -- 5,500
Total: 18,500 -------------------- Thanks for ordering at Golden Bang! Have a golden day!
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You looked around the restaurant, it was empty since dinnertime was still a while away. You wondered if Yugyeom was managing the store alone right now. At least the cook must be in. “Your tangsuyuk is really delicious. It’s probably my favorite.”
Yugyeom gave you a big smile, “Happy to hear that you enjoy our food so much. The tangsuyuk is our chef’s family recipe. It’s one of our most popular menu items!”
You wringed your hands and finally decided to bite the bullet and straight out ask, “Is JK here? He usually takes my orders when I order delivery, so I just wanted to say hi.”
“JK’s shift doesn’t start until 6, so he should be here in about half an hour. If you want, I can relay a message,” he said with a knowing smile, “Or you can also take a seat and wait for him. I’m sure he’d be thrilled to meet you.”
No way you were going to sit here for half an hour and wait up for a stranger. “Ah no, that’s alright. If you could just say hi from me, that’d be great,” you quickly replied with a flush. JK would probably think you’re a creepy stalker.
“Sure, can do! Enjoy your day!” Yugyeom said merrily as you walked out the store.
A feeling of both relief and sadness passed through you. You slowly walked down the busy streets of Hongdae as you reprimanded yourself for being so stupid. What were you going to say to JK anyway if you met him? Thanks for being nice to me? You’re the reason I don’t burst into tears every single night? You’re the reason why I don’t feel completely alone when I’m sobbing into my food over Song Joong Ki’s acting? Thanks for making me gain 3 kilos in the last month?
Whatever you said, it would’ve only made you sound pathetic.
A crippling wave of desperation suddenly washed over you and rooted you in your tracks. A single tear rolled down your face. Then another. You dropped down into a crouch and started to bawl. You couldn’t fathom how you’ve reached this all-time low in your life. Why did you feel so incredibly sad about being stood up by a stranger? Especially when that stranger didn’t even know you were coming?
“Y/N?” an alarmed voice asked. You looked up when you felt a soft shake against your shoulder.
Through your tear-blurred eyes you recognized Jungkook’s face. He crouched down next to you and asked, “Is everything okay? Are you hurt?”
You shook your head and tried to wipe away your tears. It was a useless attempt as they kept on streaming down your face.
Jungkook hesitantly pushed your hair out of your face and asked, “Do you want to go somewhere else so you can tell me what happened?”
You gave him an imperceptible nod.
His hand gently moved down to your arm, afraid that you were going to push him away. With a steady grip he slowly helped you back onto your feet. Then he slid his hand through yours and led you down the hustle and bustle of Hongdae until you ended up in front of a convenience store located in one of the quieter residential side streets. He sat you down in a plastic chair and told you to wait. After a while he came back with a packet of tissues, a bottle of water and two red bean popsicles.
You gratefully took the tissues and loudly blew your nose. A small part of your brain told you to act more ladylike, especially in front of Jungkook, but the bigger part didn’t really care and just wanted to drag you back down into the pits of loneliness. A strangled sound came out of your mouth as you started to hiccup, making you sound like a drowning cat.
You expected Jungkook to laugh at your weird orchestra of emotions. Even you found it absurd and would’ve laughed if you weren’t already crying and hiccupping at the same time. But all he did was quietly open the water bottle and hand it to you.  
As soon as you lifted the bottle to your mouth another hiccup made you almost spill the water on yourself. You held your breath for a few seconds and then took a careful sip. It seemed to work. You took a bigger sip, when another hiccup racked your body and you squeezed water all over your face.
There was a bewildering moment of shock, then you started to laugh deliriously. Forget before, this was your lowest point in life. This was so pathetic that it was hilarious again. Your laughter garbled whenever you hiccupped, only causing you to laugh even harder. You would’ve continued laughing for another long minute if you weren’t choking for air.
A small smile played around Jungkook’s mouth. He took another tissue and started wiping down your face. You hiccupped under his touch. He must think you’re a nutcase.
“I have a question. We have to do some statistical testing in my Quality Management class. What would a hypothesis look like if I wanted to analyze any deviation in a spare parts production line due to temperature conditions?” Jungkook asked.
Did he really forget hypothesis testing already? He finally managed to get it after four sessions! You frowned slightly. “You could set up a null hypothesis stating that a variation in temperature does not significantly impact the parameter of measurement in your production line. Jungkook did you seriously forget this?!” you said indignantly.
Jungkook gave you a playful laugh, “No, I think you drilled it so hard into my brain, I could probably recite all variables of the standard deviation formula if you woke me up in the middle of the night. Your hiccups stopped though.”
They did.
Embarrassment set in as you realized your predicament. Maybe your hormones were going crazy, maybe you were going crazy. You were getting whiplash from the emotional roller coaster you were on. In an attempt to hide your disgrace, you picked up another tissue and wiped away the remaining water, snot and tears.
There was tangible awkwardness in the air.
“I hope you like red bean,” Jungkook said shyly as he unwrapped a popsicle, “Red bean is my favorite. My friends keep on calling me old fashioned, but it just reminds me of the time when my mom used to buy me these after taekwondo class. I think I liked the popsicles more than I liked going to class.” He sighed in reverie and held up the popsicle for you.
You stared at his hand. You remembered how it felt against yours just a few moments ago. Firm, warm and steady. Then you looked up at Jungkook. He hid it well, but you could tell that there was concern behind his encouraging smile.
“This is so embarrassing,” you said as you accepted the popsicle and turned your head away from him, “I don’t know what is wrong with me right now. I’m usually not like this.”
“Did something happen earlier?” Jungkook asked cautiously as he unwrapped his own popsicle and took a bite out of it.
Did something happen earlier? Why did you cry? Where you really crying just because you didn’t meet JK?
“No,” you said and slowly shook your head, “I don’t know. I just suddenly felt overwhelmed.”
Jungkook hesitated before he asked, “Are you sad because of your breakup?”
Were you sad because of your ex-boyfriend?
“I don’t think so. In the beginning when we broke up I was devastated, but I don’t think that’s the case anymore,” you said more to yourself than to Jungkook. “Everyone told me I was lucky to be rid of him. I really didn’t understand why. But I think it’s becoming clearer now. Maybe it’s not sadness. Maybe it’s fear. I think I just feel lost. I don’t know who I am anymore. Maybe it scares me to know that I was able to lose myself and I don’t know if I can find a way back.”
Before you knew it, you spilled your heart, your deepest and darkest fears to Jungkook. You barely knew this boy, yet it still felt oddly comforting. He remained quiet and listened.
“I wanted to meet someone today, but they weren’t there,” you continued, “I think in that moment I just realized how utterly lost I was on my own.”
Jungkook searched for the appropriate words. How do you respond to someone’s most vulnerable thoughts? “I mean you know what they say. It’s not about how much you’ve lost, it’s about how much you have left.”
He peeked at you to check if it worked.
“Jungkook, did you just quote Iron Man at me?” you asked incredulously before a giggle slipped from your lips.
You noticed how his cheeks dimpled when he gave you an embarrassed laugh, “Sorry, I was trying to say something that would cheer you up. I’m probably not doing a very good job.”
In that second you realized how kind-hearted Jungkook actually was. Your heart squeezed. “Don’t say that. Thanks for listening to my problems. And thanks for the red bean popsicle. I also ate this a lot in my childhood. Mainly because my sister hated them. She always used to steal my ice cream out of the freezer so at some point I asked my parents to only buy me red bean popsicles. She never touched those,” you reminisced.
Jungkook laughed at your story, “Your sister sounds like a piece of work.”
“We used to fight a lot, we used to never get along,” you became thoughtful, “At some point that stopped. I think we just grew up and grew to understand and accept our differences. She doesn’t steal my food anymore. I don’t steal her clothes anymore. We may not always agree, but we respect each other’s decisions.”
“You know, for someone who just said she feels lost, you sound pretty self-reflected right now,” Jungkook mused, “Maybe you need to do the same as you did with your sister. Understand yourself and accept the differences of your past and present.”
You paused at this. He was right. You were so desperately trying to fend off these negative emotions that you never took the time to actually think. You were chasing an image that never existed. Not in the past nor in the present.
“You’re surprisingly good at giving advice. Thanks, Jungkook,” you said.
“Surprisingly? What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked, offended. The glint in his eyes gave his teasing away.
Laughter pealed from you. Jungkook was captivated by the sound. He drank in the way your eyes creased with mirth and followed your fingers as they brushed back your hair.
Jungkook’s phone vibrated. “Oh shit!”
“Is everything alright?”
“Yeah, don’t worry. I was actually on my way to work and my boss is asking me where I am,” he said as he stuffed his phone back in his pocket.
Jungkook startled when you suddenly jumped up. “Then you should get to work! You should’ve said something sooner. I’m so sorry for keeping you here!”
“No, it’s really fine. I’ve done enough overtime. He won’t complain if I’m a few minutes late,” he said, “Are you feeling better?”
You ignored his question and pushed against his shoulders to get him out of the chair. “Go to work, Jungkook. I’ll be fine, your red bean popsicle did wonders,” you responded placatively.
When he still didn’t move, you grabbed his arm and pulled him back onto the main street. Jungkook’s skin scorched under your touch. “Go to work, Jungkook,” you said again with more emphasis.
“Are you sure…?” he asked, unwilling to let you out of his sight before he knew you weren’t just going cry again at the next street corner.
“I won’t burst into tears,” you said as if reading his mind. “You were right, I need to reconcile with myself. So I’ll go home, enjoy my dinner and think about who I am and who I want to be. And you,” you said giving him another gentle shove, “need to go to work.”
Jungkook saw the stubborn look on your face. He wondered if you realized you were using your teaching voice right now. You weren’t going to take no for an answer. “Okay fine, text me when you get home?”
You waved away his concerns. “Sure. Go already,” you said with a big reassuring smile. “See you tomorrow at school!” you added before you turned around and walked away.
“You’re late,” Yugyeom said as soon as Jungkook entered the store.
Jungkook gave Yugyeom a sheepish look and only muttered, “Yeah sorry, something came up on my way here.” Then he rushed past him to the back of the restaurant and changed into his uniform.
Once he came back out he noticed Yugyeom throwing him strange looks.
“What?”
“Your girlfriend says hi,” Yugyeom said with a hint of amusement.
“Who?”
Yugyeom gave Jungkook a meaningful look, “LatteIsHorse. She ordered pick up. I think she was hoping to meet you. She’s cute. She looks like she’s probably a college student around here.”
“I know,” was all Jungkook replied.
Yugyeom’s eyes bulged in curiosity, “You know? You know she’s cute or you know she’s a student? You never told me what actually happened that night!”
Jungkook gave him a tired look and said, “She didn’t recognize me. She wore a Yonsei hoodie, so I guess she goes there. Nothing else happened.”
“Hmm, that’s weird. She was asking for you today, so she definitely knows your name,” Yugyeom said.
“Who knows, maybe she was having a lot on her plate that day,” Jungkook said with a shrug. He wondered where you lived and if you already got home safely. “Why are you obsessing over this so much?”
“Man, do you know how painful it is to watch your sorry attempts at flirting? I’m just trying to help you out, mate,” Yugyeom quipped.
“I wasn’t flirting! I was just trying cheer someone up who was obviously feeling down! It’s called being a decent human being,” Jungkook exclaimed.
Yugyeom gave him the side eye, “Yeah, that’s still not gonna get you laid.”
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[19/05 18:47 PM] User: LatteIsHorse ---------------- ORDER [DELIVERY]
1 Tangsuyuk (small) 1 Bibimbap ---------------- Note: JK-nim, I visited you at the store last week, but you weren’t there. TT-TT I hope you don’t think I’m weird, I just really like talking to you. You always manage to put a smile on my face when I’m having a hard day. We’re still friends, right?
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Golden Bang 7 Wausan-ro 29-gil, Seogyo-dong
Server: JK ------------------- TO GO
1 Tangsuyuk (small) -- 13,000 1 Bibimbap -- 5,000
Total: 18,000 -------------------- Thanks for ordering at Golden Bang! Have a golden day!
Note: LatteIsHorse-nim! I’m sad that I missed your visit to our store. I’ll try harder the next time! I added some extra bulgogi to make up for it. :) Of course we’re still friends. I don’t wish any hard days upon you, but I’m glad to hear that my words have a healing effect. In case you ever need a friend to talk to, feel free to talk to me. 010-1234-5678.
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The study sessions with Jungkook continued per usual. He still struggled and had frustrated outbursts from time to time, especially when you forced him to revise probability distributions. When you finally reached regression analysis, things became easier.
Although your sessions remained the same, something in your dynamic changed. The both of you became looser and more playful around each other. He wouldn’t clamp up anymore and you felt more at ease around him. You became friends. He never once mentioned that disasterous afternoon.
At home, on the evening of the incident, you shot Jungkook a text and slumped down on the couch. Your sister was out that night, so it was just you in the apartment. Normally, the eerie quiet would’ve unsettled you and you would’ve distracted yourself from your deafening thoughts. But that night you just let them scream, yell and tear at you.
It was an excruciating process, but in the end your head was clearer, your heart calmer. You still weren’t quite there yet, but at least you made a first step out of the endless pit of desperation.
There were other things you noticed about yourself. Gradually you realized you didn’t mind being on your own anymore. You rediscovered your love for drawing and created you own mandala art. You also learned to code your own website and now had a clickable version of your cv on the go. Although you made time for yourself, you weren’t a hermit. You went out for drinks with Jisoo and soon asked Namjoon to take you along to your university’s Math Club. There you met a lot of familiar faces that you’ve encountered in class but never talked to. With them you spent animated evenings discussing stimulating math problems and exchanging incredibly bad math puns.
You also started noticing things about Jungkook. He wasn’t as timid and shy as you initially thought. Once he got over his awkwardness, he turned out to be quite a cheeky and goofy guy. He teased you or told you silly jokes whenever you were on a break. Despite his obvious aversion for statistics, he still took your lessons very seriously. Diligently listening to your explanations and trying to solve the problems to the best of his abilities. His study-mode showed you other sides of him. The cute pout he had whenever he tried to hide his confusion. Or the two little ridges which formed between his eyes whenever he was concentrated and deep in thought. More often than not you fought the urge to smooth them out with your touch or even better, with a kiss.
“Is something wrong?” Jungkook asked when he caught you staring.
“No,” you quickly said, “I was just thinking that you don’t seem to have much trouble with regression analysis.”
“I don’t know, the relationship between the variables just makes much more sense,” Jungkook said.
You looked at him and considered, “Hmm, maybe you don’t need my tutoring anymore?”
Brief dismay crossed Jungkook’s face. “My finals are in three weeks. I think I’d still prefer if you helped me revise the earlier chapters,” he said, “Unless you need more time to study for your own finals.”
Being in college meant that you were always in dire need of more time. That constant nagging voice in the back of your head telling you to study was an occupational disease. But you didn’t have to kid yourself, those four hours a week spent on Jungkook weren’t going to make or break your grade. Besides, you enjoyed spending time with him. You wondered if he felt the same.
“It’s alright, I’ll help you revise. Just don’t embarrass me on your finals. I don’t want Namjoon to tell me afterwards that you didn’t manage to calculate the mean of the population or worse, read the scoring table upside down,” you teased him light-heartedly.
Jungkook’s ears turned bright red. “That happened once!” he said, “How long are you going to hold that over my head?”
You laughed at his indignation. “Don’t forget, you’ll get endless tangsuyuk if you pass.”
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[26/05 20:09 PM] User: LatteIsHorse ---------------- ORDER [DELIVERY]
1 Tangsuyuk (small) 1 Jjamppong ---------------- Note: JK-nim, I’d like to get the advice of a friend. There’s this kind, sweet boy that I really like. I would like to tell him how I feel, but he’s seen me in my lowest and ugliest moments. Maybe he’ll think I’m just baggage? I guess I’m afraid of his rejection.
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Golden Bang 7 Wausan-ro 29-gil, Seogyo-dong
Server: JK ------------------- TO GO
1 Tangsuyuk (small) -- 13,000 1 Jjamppong -- 5,000 1 Soju -- 0
Total: 18,000 -------------------- Thanks for ordering at Golden Bang! Have a golden day!
Note: LatteIsHorse-nim! It’s only human to fear rejection. I can completely understand. I also have someone I really like. She’s really pretty, smart and funny. Spending time with her makes me really happy, but I never managed to tell her. Maybe we should both gather our courage and cheer each other on? I’m not saying that drunken confessions are the way to go but consider this soju a symbolism for (liquid) courage.
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Paper Note: This is a flexagon. Whenever you need a word of encouragement give it a flip!
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Jungkook examined the hexagonal origami in his hands. On the outside it read ‘Flip Me!’
He gave the flexagon a flip. ‘JK you’re the best!’ And another. ‘The world needs more people like you!’ And another. ‘Don’t forget that LatteIsHorse is always rooting for you!’ And another. ‘Aja, aja, hwaiting!’ And another. ‘Thank you for being my friend!’
Jisoo barged into you room and flopped onto your bed. ‘Ahhh! I’m so glad you finally cleaned in here. Seriously, if I find another rancid noodle stuck to my clothes, I’ll call in a hazmat team.”
“I don’t know why you’re complaining so much. It’s not even your room,” you said.
“Hey, where are you ever going to find a friend like me?”
Your friend sacrificed many a night away from college parties to binge watch handsome oppas sweep equally beautiful unnies off their feet with you. And she wasn’t shy telling you that.
“Let’s go out tonight,” Jisoo suggested. She rolled back onto her feet and started walking around, inspecting your cleaning job.
“Our finals start in two weeks; I really don’t want to spend my weekend nursing a hangover.”
“I’m not saying you have to get wasted. Tonight is the Pre-Game Night. We have to go!” Jisoo demanded.
The Final’s Pre-Game Night was a campus-wide tradition. Every semester on the Friday a week before finals huge parties were thrown to signal the beginning of the end. It was like a dare – were you confident enough to get completely drunk and still hope to pass your finals? Naturally everybody on campus joined in and drank.
“Not getting wasted at a Pre-Game party? That’s like saying you’ve decided you don’t need to breathe. I really don’t think…”
“What’s this?” Jisoo suddenly interrupted. “LatteIsHorse-nim! Personally, I’m a dipper, but I don’t discriminate! I added some broth as service for you. It’s chilly tonight. Don’t catch a cold!” she read aloud, “LatteIsHorse-nim! Happy Children’s Day to you too! I added my favorite childhood drink, banana milk! I hope it brings back as many happy childhood memories for you as it does for me.”
You flung yourself across the room and almost tripped over your own feet trying to rip the receipts out of Jisoo’s hands.
“Oh. My. God. Is your take-out guy flirting with you?!” she asked.
“No! He’s just a friend. We send encouraging notes to each other,” you tried to explain.
Jisoo threw her hands in the air. “Okay that’s it! We’re going to the Pre-Game party, whether you want or not. You can’t tell me that the only flirting interaction you have is with a stranger who delivers you tangsuyuk!”
The place Jisoo picked out was ram packed and buzzing with energy. It was an open dorm party; all the common rooms were transformed into dancefloors. Different types of music played from each corner of the building. Crates of alcohol were stacked against the walls.
The both of you grabbed a beer and made your way through the crowd.
“You’re going to have fun tonight, alright?”
“I don’t think this works that way,” you laughed.
“Then put some effort into it. We look way too cute for it to go to waste,” she said as you roamed around the floors and explored the different areas. You looked down on your dress. It was a pretty warm night; you had opted for a flowy summer dress with a blush pink floral pattern. Jisoo was right, it was cute.
You discovered a familiar face at the edge of the crowd. “Sunbae!” you said.
Namjoon turned around gave you a surprised smile. “Y/N! Out of all the places on campus, we meet each other here tonight. What are the chances?”
He was surrounded by a group of friends, you spotted Jungkook right behind him. The boy gave you an excited wave. A slow smile spread across your face. “I don’t know, but why don’t we ask Jungkook to calculate it for you?”
Namjoon let out a hearty laugh while Jungkook groaned in exasperation.
“Do you see what I have to put up with every week, hyung?”
“Didn’t you just say it’s the best thing that happened to you?” Namjoon taunted, “You have some nerve showing up in front of me tonight. You better ace your SA finals. Do you know how many favors I had to pull to get Y/N to tutor you?”
“What do you expect me to do?” Jungkook sputtered, “Go home and lock myself up on Pre-Game Night?”
If it weren’t for Jisoo you would’ve done just that. Speaking of Jisoo, your friend cleared her throat and gave you a painful nudge in the side.
“Ah yes, uhm, Jisoo you already know Namjoon. This is Jungkook. You know, the guy I’m tutoring.”
Jungkook gave her a small wave.
Jisoo didn’t even try to hide her amazement. “This is Jungkook? But you’re like wayyy cute!” She turned to you and added still loud enough for everyone to hear, “Why didn’t you tell me he was cute?!”
The embarrassment was obvious on Jungkook’s face. You could tell that Namjoon was getting a rush out of his dongsaeng’s reaction and before he could provoke him any further you decided to jump in.
“Who wants to go dance?” you asked loudly. You turned around and headed to the dancefloor without waiting for any of them to respond.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were tutoring a hunk?” Jisoo muttered under her breath.
“He’s not a hunk. Don’t call him that.”
“Yeah but he’s hot. You made him sound like he was a nerd.”
“He is a nerd.”
Your friend gave you a glare, “Why are we arguing about this? I know you’re not that oblivious.”
Of course you weren’t oblivious to Jungkook, but you weren’t going to tell Jisoo that.
“Let’s dance.” You grabbed Jisoo’s hand and twirled her around.
Namjoon and his friends joined you on the dancefloor. The mood of the crowd was electric. Music pulsed through your veins. Drinks flowed, shots were downed, people pulled out their best, lamest, craziest dance moves. Everyone celebrated like the world was going to end.
After a while you became hot and needed a new drink. You looked around for Jisoo and saw her grinding up against one of Namjoon’s friends. She’d be busy for a while. You inconspicuously moved away from the group and decided to go get some fresh air.  
“Wait up,” Jungkook said as he appeared next to you, “are you getting something to drink? I’ll join you.”
His dark curls were slightly matted with sweat. His baggy t-shirt clung to his body. You weren’t sure if it was the alcohol or Jisoo’s damn voice whispering into your ear. He was hot.
You circled your arm through his and pulled him through the crowd. His muscles shifted under your touch. You grabbed two drinks from a crate and handed one to Jungkook, your nerves tingled when his hand brushed against yours. The both of you remained in comfortable silence, leisurely walking through the dorm, neither of you in a hurry to get back to your friends. You explored the facility areas, weaving through pounding and quiet parts of the building.
“You look really nice tonight,” he said after a while.
The heels of your shoes echoed against marble floor of the dark hallway. “Thanks, Jisoo raided my closet.”
“She’s really something isn’t she?”
“She’s the best. I’m grateful to have her as my friend.”
Somewhere further down the hallway you made out two figures pressed against the wall, probably trying to find a quiet place of their own.
“You also look nice,” you said to Jungkook.
“I’m wearing the same things I always do,” Jungkook said, his voice turning shy.
You were getting closer to the couple. You could see how the guy was sticking his tongue down the girl’s throat. She seemed to enjoy it from the sounds she was making. Lucky them.
Your next words were definitely fuelled by your tipsy state, “I guess that means you always look nice.” Jungkook missed a step. You had to laugh at his blunder.
The couple in front of you broke apart and looked in your direction. More annoyed about being interrupted rather than embarrassed being caught. You were about to make a funny comment to Jungkook when your heart stopped and you froze.
A string of saliva still clung to the guy’s lips. His eyes widened when he recognized your face in the darkness. “Y/N?”
Your breath hitched and your grip tightened around Jungkook’s arm. He glanced between you and the guy, the situation slowly dawning on him.
“Why did you stop? Who’s that?”, the girl whined.
“No one,” the guy responded as he returned his attention to her and they started making out again.
Jungkook didn’t know if he wanted to puke or punch that guy. A sharp pain in his arm brought him back to his senses. Your nails dug into his skin. He put his hand around yours and loosened your iron grip.
“Let’s go,” he said and quickly pulled you past the couple. You followed him in a daze. He stopped once you were outside of the building, hidden away in a quiet corner.
His hands reached for your face and he lifted your eyes to his. “Breathe.”
You closed your eyes, let out a long breath and let your head fall against the wall behind you. The horrible encounter replayed in your mind. You had to open your eyes again.
There he was right in front of you. Worried Jungkook, kind Jungkook, beautiful Jungkook.
Your hands reached behind his neck and you pulled him a bit closer. You tried to decipher his gaze, it was dark and yearning. Everything was a haze, the alcohol in your blood made you daring.
“Kiss me,” you whispered.
His mouth crashed against yours. Your hands slipped up into his hair and your bodies entwined. You opened your lips and sucked in his hot breath. Your tongues found each other; he groaned at your taste.
He moved one of his hands down your side until he found purchase on your leg and hitched it up against his waist, pressing his body further into you. You let out a moan when his hips ground into yours.
All your senses drowned in Jungkook. You drowned in his scent, you drowned in his touch, you drowned in his heat. You tried to use Jungkook to drown out the grotesque image from before. Suddenly the heat of the moment disappeared, and a cold shower ran down your spine.
You broke away from your breathless kiss and put your hands against Jungkook’s chest to put some distance between you. He gave you a disoriented look.
“I’m sorry. We shouldn’t have kissed.”
Jungkook’s eyes grew wide and alarmed. “Did I do something wrong?”
His lips were swollen, his hair was mussed. You wanted nothing more than to pull him back in, but you couldn’t. Not here. Not like this. He deserved better.
You pushed yourself off the wall and gave him a small shove. He immediately let go of you and stepped back. “I shouldn’t have kissed you like this,” was all you said before you ran back into the building.
The next day you woke up to a splitting headache and a heart full of regret. You really needed to talk to Jungkook and explain to him why you ran away the previous night, but you were too much of a coward to pick up your phone and contact him. You decided it was better to talk to him in person at school.
The following week at school you waited for him in the library. Your heart was in your throat. Your prepared speech played in an endless loop in your head.
‘I’m sorry I ran away. I shouldn’t have kissed you in that state. It wasn’t fair to you. You deserve better than that.’
You looked down on your phone to check the time. A message blinked. You opened and read through it. Your heart sank. He wasn’t coming. He wanted to study the last week before finals on his own. He thanked you for your time.
Slowly you got up and packed your bag. You blew it. You wanted to do him right, but you only caused him pain. Thinking back, you realized he gave and gave and gave and all you did was take. He was right to stay away from you. There was no way he’d be happy with someone like you.
The week passed and finals week commenced. You immersed yourself in your exams and tried to get over your heavy heart. You were pretty sure you aced Geometry II, but the Numerical Analysis exam was nothing but a blur.
Although your heart ached, you didn’t fall back into the same dark pit of the past. You didn’t feel lost, you got on with your life. Nobody noticed the Jungkook-sized hole in your heart except for you. You wanted to talk about your feelings, but you didn’t think Jisoo or your sister would understand. They’d probably just tell you to get out there and find a new guy.
Another week passed. You were walking out of your professor’s office, finalizing the details of your summer internship, when you bumped into Namjoon.
“Y/N! What are you doing here? Aren’t you off for summer break yet?” he asked.
“I was just discussing my internship with Prof. Kim,” you said.
“Ah you’re participating in his research program?” Namjoon said, “I heard it’s really interesting, he’s intense though.”
“I think intense is fine for me, I need something to do with my brain. Otherwise I’ll just go crazy,” you said with a smile.
“Speaking of intense, what did you do to that kid?” Namjoon suddenly asked.
You tensed. Did something happen to Jungkook? “What do you mean?”
“Did you brainwash him or something? He got a 98 on his SA final! When I handed him over to you, he was still asking me why the positive and negative z-scores tables had different values,” Namjoon said in awe.
Relief washed through you and your chest filled with pride. “Watch out sunbae, I might be coming for your TA position,” you said with a wink.
At home you sprawled out on the couch. Your sister’s classes ended earlier than yours so now she was away with her friends travelling the countryside. Your mind wandered as you stared up at the ceiling of your quiet apartment. You really wanted to call Jungkook and congratulate him, but you didn’t think you should. He clearly didn’t want to be in contact with you, you hadn’t heard anything from him since his text canceling your study sessions.
A pang of sadness washed through you. It should have been a happy moment for the both of you, you should be eating tangsuyuk together right now. You really wanted to tell someone about your joy and your grief.
Then you suddenly remembered your friend. Your friend who never judged and always had something wise to say. Maybe he would understand the conflicts of your heart. You got up and dug through the receipts on your desk until you found the one with his phone number on it.
You hoped he wouldn’t think you were crazy, but then again, he was the one who offered himself to talk to you any time. You typed in the number and hit call. Your phone dialed when suddenly the number displayed switched to a name. Jungkook.
You quickly hit the cancel button and stared at your phone. Did you accidentally hit Jungkook’s contact? Was your phone broken? This time you typed in the number more carefully and hit call. Again, the display switched to Jungkook’s name. You hit cancel.
Your heart began to race. You opened up Jungkook’s contact and compared it with the number on the receipt.
Holy shit.
JK was Jungkook. Jungkook was JK.
The stranger who cheered you on and made you smile whenever you felt down was Jungkook. You combed through all your receipts and reread them one by one. What was the probability for this to happen? This was so bizarre, but it made so much sense. Jungkook was the kindest person you knew. Why wouldn’t he be kind to a stranger who needed some uplifting words and comforting tangsuyuk?
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[13/06 18:20 PM] User: LatteIsHorse ---------------- ORDER [DELIVERY]
3 Tangsuyuk (large) 6 Jjajangmyeon ---------------- Note: JK-nim, I hope you’re doing well! Can I ask you for a strange favor? Would you mind delivering today’s order to me? I would really like to meet you and thank you in person for always being by my side! <3
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<Ding Dong>
The doorbell rang. Your heart pounded painfully in your chest. You slowly walked up to the door and opened it.
“Delivery from Golden…,” Jungkook’s voice faltered.
“Hi JK-nim,” you said quietly. You opened the door wider. “Thanks for coming today.”
“Y/N? What are you doing here?” he asked.
You had to smile at his look of utter confusion. “I live here. Come in, you can put the food on the dining table.” You turned around and walked back into the apartment.
Jungkook hesitated before he followed you inside. He moved up to the table and unloaded his box. He tried to steady himself. “You’re LatteIsHorse-nim?” he asked skeptically, “I’ve been here before. Last time someone else opened the door.”
He has visited you before? “Oh, that was probably my sister. I live here with her. She’s out travelling right now.”
“So you’re on your own right now? Why did you order so much food?” he asked. A giant mountain of neatly stacked dishes graced the table.
You came up and pried the metal box out of his hand. Then you moved in front of him and unclasped his bike helmet. He flinched at your sudden closeness.
“To celebrate. Congratulations on passing your Statistical Analysis exam. Namjoon told me you passed in flying colors,” you said in a gentle voice. “I promised you the best Chinese take-out in town, didn’t I?”
Jungkook still looked shell-shocked and simply stared at you.
“I’m sorry about that night at the Pre-Game party. I’m sorry I ran away. I owe you an explanation.”
Jungkook regained his wits and swallowed. “It’s okay, you don’t have to explain yourself. I get it, we were drunk. It was a mistake.” He looked down and tried to turn back around.
You grabbed onto his hands before he could move away. “Jungkook, look at me.”
He stopped turning, but his eyes remained on the floor.
You took a deep breath and squeezed his hands. “I really like you. I’ve really liked you for a while now.”
His eyes shot up to your face.
“The reason why I ran away that night was because I felt guilty. I probably would’ve ended up kissing you anyway, but in that moment, I kissed you because I wanted to forget. I didn’t want our first kiss to be like that. I wanted it to be the me who liked you and not the me who tried to drown out her shitty ex-boyfriend. I’m sorry if I hurt you.”
There was an unreadable look in his eyes. Your heart fluttered in nervousness. “How long have you known I was JK? How long did you know I had a crush on you?” he asked.
You could feel your blood rushing through your ears, the butterflies in your stomach beat like crazy. “Since today. I was sad because I thought I couldn’t share the promised meal with you. I wanted a friend to talk to, so I thought to call you. You who was always kind to me, even when I wasn’t kind to myself. Isn’t fate strange? We cheered each other on to find each other.” You had to laugh at the irony of it all.
Your hand hesitantly moved up to his face and stroked across his cheek, “I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I made you sad.”
Jungkook melted against your touch. “If I’m never sad, I won’t know when I’m happy.” Then he closed the gap and pressed his lips against yours.
It was a sweet but sad kiss. Filled with happiness and sorrow. Every touch was filled with an ‘I missed you’ or an ‘I’m sorry’.
Jungkook pressed you against the edge of your dining table, he lifted you up and you wrapped your legs around his waist. You both deepened your kiss. Your hands snaked through his hair and pulled him closer into you. Jungkook braced his hands against the table and instinctively ground his hips against your core. You moaned his name at the sensation. The both of you broke apart to catch your breaths, you pulled at his jacket and removed his layers of clothing.
You stilled at the sight of his bare chest. He was truly beautiful. Your fingers traced along his skin and marvelled at its silkiness. Jungkook shuddered under your touch. His hands moved under your shirt and you both lifted it off your head. Then you gripped his hands and slowly led them around your back, urging him to take off your bra. You wriggled out of your jeans and laid yourself completely bare in front of him. Jungkook stopped and stared at you, equally amazed.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered.
Your heart swelled and you pulled him back into a kiss. Both his kisses and his hands left a burning trail down your body. His mouth sucked on the soft skin of your neck while his hands moved across your breast, across your stomach, lower and lower. Wetness gathered between your legs.
“Jungkook,” you sighed. The muscles of his back shifted under your touch.
He released your neck with a loud smack and looked at the artwork he created. He still couldn’t get over how overwhelmingly beautiful you were. Your cheeks flushed, eyes bright and his name at the tip of your tongue. He felt himself strain against his confines.
“Please,” you whimpered. You looked down at his hand and tried to silently command him to touch you.
He kept his eyes trained on your face when his fingers moved lower and slid through your folds. Another moan left your lovely lips. He teased you with his touches, gathering your wetness until he finally pushed down where you wanted him most. Your hands dug into his back, your hips bucked, and you threw your head back in pleasure. He steadied your hips with his other hand and slowly pushed a finger inside of you. Another loud moan echoed through the room.
Jungkook was transfixed by you. He added a second finger and started pushing in and out. Your eyes squeezed shut in pleasure and small breathless pants left your mouth. Jungkook increased the speed of his movement and marvelled at the way you reacted under his touch. Then he moved his mouth to your breast and closed his lips around your nipple. You raked your hands through his hair and arched into him. Your core tightened around his fingers. All your nerves were on fire.
You pulled him away from your breast and guided his mouth back to yours. Your tongue traced his lips and you swallowed his moan. You wanted more, you wanted him closer. His fingers curled and his thumb pressed down on you. Jungkook held you tight as you shuddered and fell apart around him.
He rested his forehead against yours, your breath mingled as you both panted into each other. He slowly removed his hand from you and traced his mouth with his slicked fingers, then he moved them to your lips. Your tongue licked the tips of his fingers. His grip tightened around your waist.
“I want to feel you,” you said.
Jungkook shuddered at your words. “Where is your room?”
“The door behind you.”
Jungkook lifted you off the table, you tightened your legs around him and gave him another kiss. He walked you both to your room and gently laid you down on your bed. He took off his pants, then slowly moved onto the bed and hovered above you.
“Tell me what you want,” he said.
Your fingers caressed his face. “I want you to be happy.”
Another shudder ran through him. “I am happy. What else?”
You traced his eyes, his nose, his lips. “I want to be the one making you happy.”
Jungkook couldn’t contain himself anymore. His heart felt like it was about to explode. He covered your body with his and pressed himself into you. Your eyes rolled back as he entered you slowly. You felt so full you wanted to burst out of your skin. You could feel how the Jungkook-sized whole in your heart filled up again.
He rocked into you and took your breath away. Your nails raked across his back and left red lines against his smooth skin. Jungkook ducked his head into the crook of your neck and moaned against your skin. Every pull dragged pleasure out of you, every push brought you closer together.
You wanted more. Jungkook gave you more.
You wanted him closer. Jungkook pushed deeper into you.
With every moan, Jungkook pushed harder, pushed deeper. He wanted to melt into you. He wanted the lines between you and him to disappear. Your desire was his desire. His pleasure was your pleasure.  
Jungkook could feel you tightening around him. He moved his mouth over yours and gave you an ardent kiss. The light of your desire turned brighter and brighter until it burst apart into a thousand little flames. You cried against his lips and let the heat consume you. Your body pulsed around his and the overwhelming sensation brought him right over the edge with you.
The both of you laid on your bed and clung to each other. Neither of you willing to let the other go. Your pounding chests beat in tandem. Jungkook stroked his hand across your hair and kissed your head.
“I want you to be happy too,” he said.
“I know,” you said as you smiled against his chest, “You make me happy.”
Jungkook pulled you tighter into him and you remained silent for a while. His hand traced lazy patterns against your skin. Your breathing evened out.
“Are you allergic to pineapple?” he suddenly asked.
You looked up at him in surprise. “No. Why?”
“Because you always order tangsuyuk without pineapple.”
“Oh. That’s because my sister hates pineapple.”
Jungkook frowned, you pulled yourself up and kissed the little ridges between his eyes.
“What?” you asked.
“I think the jjajangmyeon is all soggy by now,” he said.
You had to laugh. “Probably, but the tangsuyuk should still taste great.”
Jungkook kissed you with a smile. “You’re right, tangsuyuk always tastes great.”
°°°°°°°
02/05/20
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